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[skinny-is-the-law]

My husband chose alcohol over me, and i just feel numb

[skinny-is-the-law]

Food Log ~ 2/6 | Eating Issue Vent

2C Frozen Mushroom - 40cal

Mini V8 - 30cal

1 Bay Scallop - 2cal

1/2 Bacon Strip - 23cal

1C Unsweetened Almond Milk - 30cal

1.5C Strawberry Bran Cereal - 168cal

Lemon Yogurt - 155cal

Total: 448cal

Today freaking sucked! I HATE skipping meals. I believe for me it leads to binges, so I tried my hardest to eat 3 meals a day. Usually between 160cal to 190cal per meal NEVER OVER 198cal for ONE meal. Those are my rules, it makes me feel comfortable, it makes me feel safe.

HOWEVER, trying to eat 3 meals a day has been difficult. I wake up, do my morning routine and when its time to eat breakfast Im just not. HOURS will past before I force myself to eat "Breakfast" and I hate this.

So this morning I tried to force myself to eat breakfast at the right time (Let it be known my stomach IS hungry, but I am not if that makes sense?) I made myself Mushrooms and a Tofu Dog w/Sauerkraut & Mustard - 145cal - Something I used to love as a vegetarian but this morning I just spit it out. I couldn't even swallow it.

I tried AGAIN later after eating the the Mushrooms an drinking the V8. I made myself Bay Scallops - 25scallops for 45cal - Something that I again LOVE!! I ate one, but it just didn't taste as good as it used to. So I didn't eat it and gave the rest to my husband.

Im think of changing my diet still under 500cal and still 3 "meals" a day, but more simple and basic.

Im gonna drink my Breakfast - seems to be the only way I wont skip it

Mono Meals w/little to no add ons- Whole Fruits & Veggies w/sauce or spices

Creamy Foods - Yogurts, Puddings, Jello, basically no Chewing

Soups - Still debating if I want anything more than Creams & Broths

Cereal - Literally the only thing that sounds good to me

Note: Im not pregnant and I dont have a virus, I have no idea why nothing taste good anymore.

You think this would be a dream, but with my rules this is a nightmare.

[skinny-is-the-law]

Dude I feel bad...

I bought a bunch of groceries so that I could eat "a lot" of food - It looks like a normal amount of food as to not make anyone worry, but it actually only 500cal or less a day - and Im just not eating it!? It all just sounds so unappealing to me.

To most that sounds like a good thing, but for me its not. My income is very extremely poor, I can not be buying food and then not eating it, having it go to waste. These foods are literally my safe foods, WTF is wrong with me!!??!

[skinny-is-the-law]

New rule:

No thinking about my life choices after 10pm. (Because it makes me sad)

[skinny-is-the-law]

When ever someone cooks me food.

[skinny-is-the-law]

"Do you have bulimia?"

My husband asked as he watched me Eat a bag of snack lays, and then spit out each bite before swallowing.

"No, I'm not throwing it up" Technically the truth. So I'm not lying.

[skinny-is-the-law]

Best supplemts to take if ⭐️vjng and teas to aid in w3ight l0$$

⭐️ FIBER!!!!!

This is the brand I use. It’s really helped me with my gut problems and bloating. Research suggests that an unhealthy gut microbiome is linked with w31ght g41n and 0b3s1ty.

⭐️ Multivitamins. duh

again the brand I use. Really helps with vitamin deficiencies.

⭐️ Iron

I don’t take iron since the only ones availible are p1IIs and I can’t swallow them properly, but everyone else please take them!

⭐️ electrolyte water!!!!!

Gatorade zero, Powerade zero, etc. They might have 10 c4l0r1es per bottle, but it’s better than passing out from dehydration and being hooked to an IV(this happened to me once)

⭐️ Teas I take! (I take one of each a day)

Green and elderberry - antioxidizes, boosts metab and immune

Red/Roobios - boosts metab

hibiscus - boosts metab

ginger lemon - reduces bloating and boosts metab, also heals sore throat for my m1a people

Chamomile lavender - calms you down, stress is associated with w31ght g41n

peppermint - boosts metab

[skinny-is-the-law]

Restaurants Safe Foods Masterpost

Food from my master post, this is just so you don’t have to scroll through the whole thing if you didn’t want to on my masterpost

A&W

Applebees

Arbys

Bojangles

Burger King

Bj’s

Carrabas

Cheddars

Chick-Fil-A

Chilis

Chipotle

Chuck E Cheese

Cici’s

Cracker Barrel

Culivers

Dairy Queen/Orange Julius

Denny’s

Dominos

Dunkin Donuts

Fire House Subs

Five Guys

Fuddruckers

Golden Coral

Hard Rock

In and Out Burger

IHOP

Jasons Deli

KFC

Krispy Kreme

Little Caesers

Krystals

Logans Road House

Long Horn Steak House

McAlisters Deli

McDonalds

Movie Theaters

Olive Garden

Outback Steak House

Panda Express

Panera Bread Co.

Papa Johns

Papa Murphys

Pizza Hut

Popeyes

PF Changs

Red Robins (yuUUMMM)

Ruby Tuesday

Sonic

Steak and Shake

Subway

Taco Bell

Texas Road House

Tim Hortons

Waffle House

Wendy’s

White Castle

Zaxbys

[skinny-is-the-law]

Im to the point that I think Im just tired with chewing. I know you shouldn't drink your calories but, I dont even want to open my mouth any more.

[skinny-is-the-law]

Whats happened to me...

The fact it's taken me 10 days to loose 7 pounds is really sad, but mostly annoying and frustrating to me. I keep comparing it to the day (according to the scale) I lost 10 pounds in 1 day, when will that happen to me again!?!!

[skinny-is-the-law]

Nothing like a little workout session 🦀

[skinny-is-the-law]

✧˚｡ My Favorite Quick Meals ｡˚✧

My meals have to be under 200cal, or else I wont eat it. I have a list of quick meals under 200cal, but some I'll never eat cause they either dont sound good, or contain black beans (I dont like those.) But these 3 are my personal favorites, all chicken related, but that wasn't intended, lol.

I think its really important to have a quick meal available. Though I preplan my meals (I just mentally plan them/ write them down, I hate meal prep it doesn't taste good), I still have to physically make them the day of, but sometime that can be hard. Sometimes I feel really shaky and real nauseous, to the point that I feel if I get up to make food I'll vomit. Which is why its really important to me to have a quick microwavable meal available for my weak/fragile days.

[skinny-is-the-law]

🌸🍄❤️reblog to manifest successful fasts for everyone❤️🍄🌸

[skinny-is-the-law]

Weigh the same 2 freaking days in a row time to fast ❤

[skinny-is-the-law]

Lazy Food Log Cause Im Tired

Breakfast - 174cal

1C Vanilla Unsweetened Almond Milk - 30cal

Acai Berry Smoothie Pack - 84cal

1/2C Frozen Strawberries - 25cal

1/3 Banana - 35cal

Lunch Edamame - 180cal

Dinner 4Cups Popcorn - 80cal

Snacks - 122cal

Homemade Ana Brownie - 37cal

2Tbs Chocolate Whipped Cream - 15cal

Oreo Cookie - 70cal

Total: 556. Went Over by 56, today was just an off day. My preplanned Lunch (Originally 168cal) had to be changed suddenly, so I looked around for anything I had, that I could make quick, saw the Edamame. Saw the calories and figured that was as good as it was gonna get.

Memo to self: Get more lazy/quick/microwaveable safe foods.

The Ana Brownie I ate w/Whipped cream, so that I wouldn't eat my moms Homemade Pinon Pie (No Idea how many calories are in that, yikes!) Then for dinner I was just to tired to make an actual meal, so I just zapped some popcorn and ate that. Lastly I ate one Galaxy Oreo cause I gave into temptation. Like I said it was just an off day ●︿●

[skinny-is-the-law]

My Binge Prep Bag

So with how little I eat a day, I feel like a Binge episode is bound to happen. Maybe not now, Maybe not soon, Maybe not for you, but for ME I feel like it will come at some point. So I'd rather be prepared and binge on foods I feel safe and comfortable with. Foods that I have already come to terms with that if I eat in abundance, in a moment of weakness, that it will be okay. I will be okay. Rather than binging on who knows what and not even knowing about how much calories I had.

If I binge on god knows what, I will feel disgusted, I will feel ashamed, I will feel sad, I will feel disappointed, I will feel large and then I'll probably cry.

VS

This bag I have already accepted it. I will still probably feel sad and disappointed, maybe even shame, but I will take solace that I know what I am eating. That this is a CONTROLLED binged. Controlled, meaning I am not loosing.

Sweets

MaxMallow Marshmallows - 15cal for 2 - 90cal for the bag

Sour Gummy Bears - 45cal for 13 - 225cal for the bag

Twinkies - 140cal for 1 - 280cal for both

For the marshmallows I've had them in the past, they are good, and sweet (they also have other flavors but I like vanilla). 12 for 90cal doesn't sound too bad for during a binge.

Sour Gummy bears, obvious if I'm craving for something sour then Im covered. Also got these to I can eat multiple bears, one a a time, thus lasting longer.

Twinkies!? Super odd food to have as a "Safe Binge Food" But both the Marshmallows and Gummy Bears are ZERO sugar. Twinkies were the lowest calorie junk food I could find (near me), that was REAL junk food. I want something with REAL sugar, cause you can only trick your body for so long with the 0cal sweeteners.

Salty

Popcorn Hot & Spicy - 25cal per cup - 270cal for bag

Veggie Straws - 220cal for the Bag

Popcorn Should be obvious low Calorie for a large bulk of food. Veggie Straw I got for how salty they are.

Meal

Chicken Salad - 70cal

Now I have this cause I didn't want just junk food, in my bag. I wanted to have real food/meal (hard to put a low calorie meal in you purse and not have it spoil though) so I have this. Im hopping that if I use the Veggie straws to eat it that it'll 1. Satisfy me and 2. Slow me down enough while Im eating to realize that I am satisfied and that I dont need to keep on eating.

Safety

Lastly the Cliff Blok Chew on here is 200cal. I keep it more for safety rather than a Binge, so if need I can eat this whenever I ever feel scared, shaky and faint.

" Not eating enough can cause you to have low blood sugar. If your blood sugar levels go too low then you might find yourself shaking and sweating, perhaps feeling faint or also having a pounding heartbeat. Having extremely low blood sugar can quickly lead you to passing out/seizures/brain damage/death. "

[skinny-is-the-law]

Diary 1/31: Today was a less than splendid but not exactly bad.

I aim for 500 calories a day, if I go over by like 20 or 30, I dont like it but it's okay I guess. But any more than that it makes me uncomfortable and disappointed in myself. Anyways...

Breakfast: 195cal Strawberry Protien Smoothie - 130cal Toast w/Tbs Cream Cheese - 65cal

A little too high for me, I like to keep my meals between 160cal and 180cal. However I did this somewhat intentionally cause last night my dinner was so little (2cups Left Over Popcorn - 50cal, not intentional I was just to tired to make real food). So to make up for that I had a slightly bigger breakfast.

Also! I was gonna be running errands with my mother, so I wanted to have more energy. I forgot though that my mother can make a simple task last hours, and what should have taken us 3 hours to get done instead took us 6. It's fine, I love my mother, lol. But as the day kept going I kept getting more and more nauseous and zoning out.

"Let's go to Applebees for lunch"

I snapped back into reality real quick. Luckily though my mother after thinking about for 15 minutes changed her mind as she wanted to get home soon too and eating out would only delay that. So we went to walmart to do our last errand grocery shopping and decided to eat in the store.

I originally thought that I'd eat nothing and just wait till we got home to have my safe meal. But the lack of food plus everything we were doing was draining on me. I was no longer laughing, smiling, and joking with my mother, I was quite and sad.

So I decided for my best interest I should look for something to eat too. Luckily I found some popcorn 150cal for the bag and a green apple snack - 30cal.

Did my shopping as usual, got some safe food, and food for my binge prep bag and I was good! Till I got home. I had bought caprisuns for my husband (he loves them) and he gave me one to drink, knowing how happy it makes him I drank it - 90cal. Then my mother told me I should try this new oreo, it has pop rocks in it, tingles your mouth. At first I said no, but seeing everyone else's reaction to the cookie made me feel FOMO, plus I was genuinely curious as to how itd feel/taste. So I ate one - 70cal

"Curiosity killed the cat."

Finally I had a Turkey Sandwich - 160cal for dinner. So in total I had 695 calories for the day. 195 calories over budget. Surprisingly though today I dont feel disappointed in myself.

I accomplished my safe food grocery shopping

I had a fun time with my mom

I made my husband smile

I got to share a fun/funny experience with my family

And the biggest thing I kept myself in control.

I could have very easily lost myself after drinking the Caprisun, the thought entered my mind for a moment "Today is fucked now. I'll just eat a normal dinner and do better tomorrow." But I relaxed and that thought disappeared.

I had that same thought pop up in my head again when I had the oreo. I almost ate 2 oreos!! But as I was reaching for the bag to grab a 2nd one, instead I thought about the repercussions of having another oreo and I told myself you can have another one depending on the calories (at this time I didnt know the calories), so I grabbed the bag saw it was 140cal for 2 cookies and I said no.

I went over budget, but I stayed in control. And for that I feel good.