slapyou-intheface-blog

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Chuuya: Fight me!!

Dazai: *Gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring*

Dazai: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

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Dazai: We both look very handsome tonight.

Chuuya: You know, if you’d just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, “So do you.”

Dazai: I couldn’t take that chance.

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Dazai: I wish I was a dinosaur.

Atsushi: Why? Cause they’re big and scary?

Dazai: Because they’re dead.

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Padme: You know, Cody gives Obi Wan flowers everyday. I wish you would do that too.

Anakin: Okay.

*Later*

Anakin: *Gives Obi Wan flowers*

Obi Wan: ???

Anakin: I don’t know, I’m confused as well.

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*After meeting for the first time*

Obi Wan: My only talent is being stress.

Cody: Don’t you mean stressed?

Obi Wan: No.

Cody: …I think I want a new general.

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Obi Wan: So, does everybody understand?

Cody: Yes sir.

Rex: I don’t think we’re all on the same page.

Boil: I don’t think we’re in the same book.

Echo: I’m personally on a kindle.

Obi Wan: …I’ll take that as a yes.

Anakin: Was I supposed to read something???

Ahsoka: I’d rather watch the movie, thank you.

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Anakin: Don’t worry, I got a plan.

Rex: Alright.

Anakin: TraitorSayWhat?

Obi Wan: Excuse me?

Anakin: What?

Rex:

Obi Wan:

Anakin: No, wait-

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Loki: *Shifts to look like Tony.*

Tony: Okay, are you like BLIND?! You look nothing like me. First off, I’m way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived, and lastly, if you could drag a comb through that hair you’re like a 7 on a good day and I’ve been told I’m a constant 10.

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Bulma: Vegeta, say one nice thing about Goku.

Vegeta: Well, he’s alive.

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*The genin all nervous about the Chunin Exam:

Asuma: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk?

Kurenai: *sighs* Kakashi.

Kakashi: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die.

Guy: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.

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Rex: If General Kenobi and I were drowning, who would you save?

Cody: You two can’t swim?

Obi Wan: It’s a hypothetical question, Cody! Who would you save?

Cody: My time and effort.

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Rex: I sleep with a blaster under my pillow.

Anakin: I sleep with my lightsaber.

Obi Wan: Both of you are pathetic.

Anakin: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Obi Wan: Cody.

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Cody: General, I think it’d be best if Captain Rex joined us on this mission.

Obi Wan: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Obi Wan: …Of people on a team.

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Obi Wan: I’m not feeling so good.

Cody: Why? What’s wrong?

Obi Wan: I keep getting a headache that comes and goes.

*Anakin enters the room*

Obi Wan: There it is again.

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Obi Wan: From now on we’ll be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One.

Obi Wan: Asajj is “been there, done that”

Obi Wan: Jango is “currently doing that”

Obi Wan: Hondo is “ it happened once in a dream”

Obi Wan: Cad is “if I had to pick a Duros”

Obi Wan: Anakin is…Eagle Two.

Anakin: Oh thank The Force.

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Sam: You bought a taco?

Dean: Yes.

Sam: From the same truck that hit Castiel!?

Dean, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain’t gonna help him.

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Castiel: What’s sexting?

Dean: I’m not having this conversation with you.