sophiionn

[sophiionn]

La douleur exquise:

(n.) the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable

[sophiionn]

Wonderwall:

someone you find yourself thinking about all the time; someone you are completely infatuated with

[sophiionn]

it’s like drowning, but you just won’t fucking die

[sophiionn]

[sophiionn]

I’m sorry for being alive and ruining everything

[sophiionn]

I’m too mentally unstable to exist anymore

[sophiionn]

My fp definitely doesn’t like me anymore and finds me insufferable. Can’t blame them; I’m either awkward, silent, cold, or weird. I can’t fucking bear them not liking me let alone loving me. Can I just die now please, and they can pretend they never met me?

[sophiionn]

Sorry for fucking literally everything up. I feel so sorry for everyone who has ever met me. Can I just disappear? Or do I just have to die?

[sophiionn]

I’m sorry I got overwhelmed and overstimulated again and got mean and rude. I’m sorry I spoke to you like that even though you mean the world to me, the whole fucking world. I’m sorry I overreact to everything and cry all the time and think about dying after every mistake no matter how embarrassingly insignificant they are to you. I’m sorry life is so difficult for me in all the ways it is easy for you. I’m sorry for thinking of you all the time, seeing you everywhere and in everything, while you barely acknowledge I exist. I’m sorry every time I drain your happiness and burden you with my problems. I’m sorry for being so painfully awkward each time we talk. I’m sorry I’m such a sensitive person. You must be sick and fucking tired of me being ill. I’m sorry for existing. I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry for being a burden.

[sophiionn]

“I don’t know if I’m extremely sensitive or life is unbearable”…fucking mood, Vincent

[sophiionn]

Everyone must be so sick of me spiralling 24/7; constantly stressed and either manic, depressed, spaced or suicidal. The person I love most must think I’m a ridiculous fucking nightmare they wish they’d never met. And now the meds cause so much brain fog they must think I’m so embarrassingly stupid I wanna die. Completely fucking alone and I fucking hate myself.