#mental fatigue

[kalavathiraj]

It's easier to say no to work, to stay careless and lazy but a lot more difficult to act like an adult with responsibilities.

Kalavathi Raj, QUOTUS

[worldbuildingwanderlust]

White wall of fog

Oppressively pernicious

Deletes the world beyond

In an act of

Criminal erasure

.

.

.

How cruel

To be

Wrongfully imprisoned

In the material

Present

[diaryofanenchantedprincess]

Supplements that seem to be helping me a lot lately:

Omega 3-6-9 and Vitamin D3 + K2 in the morning. These have helped me with general fatigue and given me a normal functioning amount of energy. It’s also been a godsend during these colder months.

Zinc + magnesium aspartate + vit B6 at night. This one has been a lifesaver for me- I get such restful sleep, my body recovers faster after a workout and it’s also helped me with my hairfall.

[thinkinginfiguresof8]

13/03/24

a little on being tired; because March is for resting up and reclaiming your energy

types of fatigue :

helper fatigue : from pouring all of your effort and energy into others while leaving none for yourself

depression fatigue : from fighting off and carrying the weight of negative intrusive thoughts

future fatigue : from spending so much time working towards a future goal that you neglect your needs in the present

anxiety fatigue : from being in constant fight or flight mode and never being able to let your guard down

compassion fatigue : from absorbing negative emotions from surroundings and experiencing sensory overload

antidotal mantra :

[iwantsnuggles]

Oblivion

Day 1

The lives I will never live, the words I will never say, the eyes I will never meet, can they knock another day?

Today is weighed by enough guilt, too formidable is the existing debris, for now, I only crave oblivion and the nothing it demands of me

...

[aurora1040]

im so tired.

tired of stress.

tired of tired.

tired of hanging on by a thread.

tired of being disabled

tired of waiting and no sleep schedule.

tired of sleeping, not sleeping enough

of feeling like led & getting nothing done

the hours in bed & trying to rest

of being weak & easily out of breath

tired of never knowing what to expect

of i'll get to keep a roof over my head.

tired of how scared that i get

when i think i rely too much upon my safety net.

the listless feelings and numbness in my head

i swear it all just never ends

[necropolis144]

it's been over a year since i started showing symptoms of long-covid and me/cfs. no matter how much or little i work it feels like everything is steadily getting worse. i'm taking harder hits over less strain on my body. if i try to engage with hobbies or do extra work for my business instead of laying in bed for hours after work the exhaustion builds up and it hits hard. it's hard to stay consistent with art and hobbies when you can hardly sit up. i can barely even scrounge up the energy to lay and play videogames that require too much mental energy. i can still play honkai star rail or genshin impact since it's usually muscle memory for me at this point, but i struggle to play stardew or fnaf because it uses too much of my brain. right now i'm just laying here listening to music because it's one of the only things i can do that stimulates my brain enough but doesn't expend the 2% of my energy i have left after work today. it's hard, and i'm still kind of in denial about everything. it's hard to accept that i'm disabled now. yes, i am able to work, but i have a "sedentary" lifestyle and even that is putting a lot of strain on me. i want it to get better and i'll think that if i just build things up, just move a little bit more every day, maybe i can get my life back. but i don't know if that's possible. i'm kind of scared?? because i hate not doing something. i've always liked working and having personal projects and learning and doing everything i can but if i don't have that then what? i haven't figured that part out yet.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

Thank you for your blog, it truly means so much to see your kind words and know that I am not alone.

On that note- does anyone else feel like your ed is just kind of sapping the life out of you? I make it to work fine but it seems I have so much less energy for things I used to enjoy. Not physically - I’m eating not great, but ok. But mentally. I feel so exhausted by the search for a therapist, the hoops to jump through, the constant thinking/planning about food, etc.

I know I haven’t been there for my friends, some of whom are going through a really hard time rn, and it’s killing me. I normally love Christmas and all that comes with it, but I haven’t sent a single card or put thought into gifts. Etc. Because once I’m done with my “must do”s I just want to lie in bed and stare at my phone.

Not sure if there’s advice for this, haha. I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way and if there’s anything you can do about that. Thank you 💕

Oh yes, this is very real and I bet you’ll find you’re not alone. Having an ED and putting the work into ED recovery can be all-consuming. Do remember that it’s okay to put this time into yourself. Prioritizing your healing now will lay such a good groundwork for the healed person you can become. But it is also okay to take a little time to grieve what this is taking from you - that, for example, you are going to have to have a much less elaborate holiday season this year, just because you are doing what you can manage. I think it’d be a good idea to do what you can manage for the holidays, just so you can take a few moments this month to enjoy something you traditionally enjoy, but try not to beat yourself up if the fanfare is much milder than you’ve managed in previous years, which can be difficult, as those of us in ED recovery tend to be perfectionists. The holidays can give us a lot of pressure to put on a big show, too, but remember that at the end of the day, it’s really about your own love and light and joy. So try to focus on what that means for you right now and enjoy what you can of it, and when you’re getting drained, you can stop. Learning to take on only what you can manage and being kind to yourself about it is a great way of practicing listening to what your body and your mind need.

As to your friends and their hard times - you too are going through a hard time. It’s admirable to want to be there for your friends, but there are going to be times in life where you have to put on your own oxygen mask first in a crisis, and that does not make you a bad friend. If you explain to your friends “I see what you’re going through and wish I could do more for you, but I am also overwhelmed with some difficult things I am dealing with right now.” A good friend should understand that. If you feel comfortable detailing your struggles to eat and find a good therapist, that might help give them more context, but you can also let them know if you don’t feel comfortable talking more about it at this time. Just affirming to them that you do still care can go a long way, even if you can’t do more - which is okay. There are going to be times in life, because life does get complicated, where you have to prioritize some things of your own, and help your friends as much as you can. And we all must learn to do what we can do, and to accept to ourselves when we have reached those limits and tell ourselves that what we can do is enough. You’re still allowed to feel frustrated, drained, and missing the things you used to be able to do. Those things will cone back - or you will build new joys as they fit your life wherever you’re at, and that’s okay too. I hope you are able to find some amounts of joy in this holiday season.

[duskytaless]

I reached the end, and I felt relieved the journey was over. I could finally rest. But, who was I kidding? A new one started right away. Now, what do I do with the fatigue from the last journey?

I forgot end is also a beginning. Life is a cycle. It has no end and beginning. We, tiny humans want to add a start and an end to forget Life's length is immeasurable. What we need to walk this long lentgh is to learn to rest while we take the journey.

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

I might change the name to the next part of your friendly neighbor but I’m too tired rn so just give me a moment

[worldbuildingwanderlust]

Each day I choke

Silently

Just a little bit more

Inching

Closer

To an inevitable end that

Can't

Get

Here

Fast

Enough

[that-gifted-girl]

The depression is extra fucking spicy tonight. I won’t “log out early”. I want to live. Just not like this. Not in my current circumstances. I’m miserable, and attempts to make it better fall flat so quickly. I’ll be okay. I have to be. I don’t know how I’ll do it. Ugh.

[shreygoyal]

View on Twitter

[knittymonstah]

The irony of:

1. wanting to do proper research into fatigue scales

2. Figure out how to apply them to tracking my fatigue in daily life

And the kicker:

3. Being too tired to do the research.

[dinosaurchurch]

There's times where I'm my own worst enemy. I'd like to say that other people are the problem but my high standards for myself are a never ending uphill battle that I put myself through although people have told me that I don't have to. It's not as simple as just throwing in the towel on myself and quitting, I very much have a hard ingrained perfectionism streak. Myself is the only person that I have zero chill with and I'd absolutely love to let down the reigns but I find I just can't. I don't think I know how.

I've always been an 'all or nothing' kind of person. I can't half ass something or slack off, I'm either pouring my heart and soul into whatever I do or I'm not participating. This causes me to burnout on occasion, and I'd say now is one of those times. I'm mentally fatigued and I can't keep denying that.

If there's anything I could tell people about myself it's the very fact that I don't like chaos in my environments and I don't like things slipping out of my control. I also very much like to go at my own pace and do things when I'm ready to do them, not before then. I think one of the biggest things that have contributed to my current burnout is just the amount of time wasted having to commute back and forth to my job. I cannot express how happy I am to be able to walk to work again. I could go on a rant about how terrible public transport is in the city I live in but I think I'll save it for another time.

When it comes to dealing with burnout sometimes I find you can kind of trudge through to the other side and then there's times where you just can't. Having to accept that maybe you've got to ease off of the gas pedal is one of the hardest things to do. I tell myself that maybe I can balance it all until I literally can't and everything spills over, all of the emotions I had bottled up come oozing out over the top and I can no longer contain them.

I'm not a person that likes reaching out for help nor do I like to admit defeat especially when I'm the cause of it but there are times where I have to accept that. A lot of people feel shame when it comes to stepping back for your mental health like you should be able to handle everything but it's okay if you can't. Being kind to yourself in the sense of retreating when needed is also a form of self care. It's typically the start of getting back on track when you do come clean and say that yeah, you're having a hard time - the first part to solving a problem is addressing the problem.

It's okay to fail, and it's definitely okay to admit you're only human and there's only so much you can do. I know I can definitely be over ambitious on occasion, I'm not always good at listening to others who might see my burnout coming before I do either. Thinking about all of this really showcases that I'm far from perfect and even I have things I still need to work on.

I'm just glad that at least now I have some time to breathe during this turbulence...

[vampires-teacup]

Isn’t it so fun when you can feel the sadness soaking into your bones and you can’t do anything about it?