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There is a reason that on an airplane you are supposed to put on your airmask first BEFORE you assist someone else.  You can’t help or support someone else when you are feeling empty and of need of help and support yourself.  Self care isn’t selfish, it is essential!  -Team SG

www.supportgroups.com

No one is going to show up for you all the time. You have to be there for yourself.

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Our Life Mantra.  -SG

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Loving our bodies

We have covered the subject of loving our bodies before, but it is an important topic that bears the need to be repeated many times over.  Two situations happened to me recently which sort of hit home the fact that we see ourselves in a COMPLETELY different light than other people see us.  

The first situation was at a family event, I saw a cousin of my Grandmother’s who came over to me and said, “you know how much your Grandmother struggled with her weight, she would be so happy to see how thin you are!”  I of course laughed and thanked her and privately thought, well I would hope she is proud of many, many other things than how my body looks!  

The second incident was at a Doctor’s office, I was checking in and a woman next to me with a very small child said, “I wish I was that small!”  I looked at her and thanked her, rather awkwardly, as she was at least 4-6 inches taller than me, had a small child so yeah, GRACE PEOPLE, and we had vastly different body types.  

To love yourself as you are is a miracle, and to see yourself is to have found yourself, for now. And now is all we have, and love is who we are.  -Anne Lamott

Let me be clear, I am fairly short, I am a mother who has given birth more than once, and according to BMI scales I am normal.  I do workout, I love chocolate and if you follow along on social media and on our weekly “Life Hacks” I adore coffee.  Let me rephrase, when I say things like, “maybe I should give up coffee,” my kids think Armageddon is about to begin and all start saying that is a VERY BAD idea!!  And guess what, before I get in the shower I stand in front of the mirror and examine myself in my birthday suit to see how things are hanging, so to speak.  People, I am my own worst critic, but here these sweet souls are giving me compliments and I just want to shout, ENOUGH, let’s stop on the body compliments and criticism, it is bones and muscles and we all have them, isn’t that enough?  

Everybody has a part of her body that she doesn’t like, but I’ve stopped complaining about mine because I don’t want to critique nature’s handiwork… My job is simply to allow the light to shine out of the masterpiece. -Alfre Woodard

Today we shared on Twitter a piece by Serena Daniari, a correspondent with Mic, that had to do with Transgender Woman and “Passing;” which is the term used to describe looking and having society think you are a Cisgender woman.  What really struck me with this article and from posts on our site from those in the Transgender group, Eating Disorder group, Binge Eating Group, Obsity Group...is how we have an image in mind of how people should look and act and when, heaven forbid they don’t, some of us feel they have the right to judge that difference. It disgusts me really because I have a daughter who is tall and wears her hair short and often wears clothing that comes from the “boys” section.  She is sometimes mistaken as a boy and guess what, she could care less!  To have her coolness and strength people, really, she is #goals.  

You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself.

-Geneen Roth, Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything

This Hack, like a lot of things I write here, are taken from a personal place. I do that so they don’t sound like normal articles you read which are impersonal and clean, you get a first row seat into my messy, chaotic and very supportive brain.  I understand you, because I am real and I get it.  This summer, and every season, let’s do our best to eat well and exercise, because that is what our bodies do, medically speaking, need.  Let’s aim to lift each other up, to go out to the pools and just enjoy ourselves, not wonder if all our bits and pieces are being judged.  You are imperfectly perfect, period.

You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful. -Amy Bloom

Wishing you all nothing but Support and Goodness.  -Team SG

Resources:

https://transgender.supportgroups.com/

https://eating-disorder.supportgroups.com/

https://binge-eating.supportgroups.com/

https://obesity.supportgroups.com/

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People will judge you regardless of what you do. Don’t look to them for validation, simply accept all that you are.

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Summertime isn't always a time for cheer, it can be hard when you want to be happy and join in the fun, but your anxiety and/or depression is holding you back, or your eating disorder, or your fear that you might not pass or fit in, or your autoimmune disease prevents you from being out in the sun. 

While ice cream, cookouts, pool parties and barbeques all seem so quintessentially summer, let's make sure that we support those who are having a hard time during the summer months, to those who can join in the fun and those who so desperately want to. -Team SG

www.supportgroups.com

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All the feels

I find that Summertime is often the busiest time of year in my house, it is a long, long school break filled with many activities to juggle, which often makes time management a little precarious.  I have multiple alerts on my phone to make sure everyone gets where they need to be and this morning I found myself eating a gluten free waffle in the car while driving one of my kids to camp (only at red lights by the way, I try to keep 2 hands on the wheel for safety).  We do what we have to do to make sure our kids are safe and happy and I think that is why this issue with kids being taken away from their parents at the border is hitting me so hard.  I love my kids, they annoy me too, I am not one of those people who think their kids are perfect, not by a long shot, but they are mine and if they disappear for a minute I automatically think the worst.  

My family only came to this country, the United States, a few generations ago, they came because of religious persecution and sought a country that would let them practice their religion and customs without fear.  Things were better here than from where they came from, but just a generation later, they were barred from joining certain social clubs, or going to certain hotels because of signs that read: No Blacks, Jews or Dogs allowed.  

So what is happening in Texas feels personal, because of who I am as a person, because of who I am as a parent, who I am as an American and as someone who works on the team that makes up www.supportgroups.com, a site that accepts anyone, from any country, completely free from fees, because our aim is to provide a place where ANYONE can get support, the reality of what is going on is a hard truth to swallow.  

"People come here penniless but not cultureless. They bring us gifts. We can synthesize the best of our traditions with the best of theirs. We can teach and learn from each other to produce a better America."                       -Mary Pipher

It is hard not to have feelings about what is going on lately in the news, I often feel like social media, that once was my fluffy, fun place to tune out the real world is very REAL lately.  As I am writing this, I see on Twitter that President Trump has apparently signed an executive order stating that families will no longer be separated while keeping the “zero tolerance” prosecution in place.  This means that those who come illegally into the US will still be subject to criminal charges, meaning that they will be arrested and as to their children...?

"No one leaves home unless / home is the mouth of a shark."-Warsan Shire

Most of us, unless we are Native, didn’t originate here, most of us are part of a family who immigrated in the last century or so, we love Pizza and Pasta from Italy, we adore Dolmas, Lamb Kebabs, Pita and Greek Yogurt from Greece, Spicy Curries, savory rice, Naan and Chai from India and the list goes on, we love the food, we enjoy the cultural experiences, opera, dances, music, but we have become fearful of the actual immigrants themselves.  There are so many things that are the same if we get to know one another.  Just about every city has multiple organizations that work with immigrants, volunteer your time, host a family for dinner, host a family for a “real American experience” which probably translates to sports for most people (that is what pops into my head anyway).  

In our own way we can do something and that is to love one another, show kindness and compassion to someone who looks different than you do, who worships differently than you do, who wears a wig(sheitel) or hijab, who eats different foods or speaks another language.  From personal experience, it is amazing and differences melt away very quickly.   

“Your enemy is not the refugee. Your enemy is the one who made him a refugee." -Tariq Ramadan

As always, we thank you for being a part of our site.  

All the best- Team SG

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#worldrefugeeday

As a parent, as a someone who knew their immigrant Great Grandparent, as someone who's family practices traditions brought over from another country, as someone who has worked with refugees from #africa and #iraq my heart hurts over the current situation in the US. My #anxiety is severely spiked and I feel like we must do more, but as to what I myself and others can do to stop this madness makes me feel extremely powerless. Yes, there are lots of organizations with boots on the ground so to speak and a ton of fundraisers that keep calling for my attention on Social Media, but what is making me feel so #paralyzedwithfear is how many people feel this is ok, that this is the right thing to do, that taking children away from parents is ok. My eyes are tearing up as I write this, it isn't okay, while we may all disagree as to the "refugee situation" in our respective countries, states, cities, towns, provinces...what I hope we can all come together on, is that children need to stay with their families and what is currently going down in the US is just #plainwrong. -Team SG

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recovery isn’t about creating a new you or embracing an old you, it’s about loving who you are in the present, without any expectations or false hopes. accepting who you are and where you could go, without all the added pressure on yourself.

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This is not about politics, this is about a cruelty.  We need to do better.  

-Team SG

The American government celebrated #FathersDay weekend by tearing countless families apart, families whose only crimes were dreaming of a better life. We stand with the nearly 2,000 children who have been separated from their parents and who now face an uncertain future alone.

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Fear, Anxiety

As someone who gets anxious and fearful about so many things, I am also determined not to ever let both my #anxiety and #fear hold me back. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night worried, but I don't even know what I am worrying about!  Can anyone relate?  One of my best managing tips is to breathe deeply while at the same time choosing to acknowledge what is going on, but to not actively participate!  It is sort of like a bark collar on a dog, they want to bark, but they know what the consequence is if they do.  #HappyMonday -SG

www.supportgroups.com

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Summertime Sadness

I got that summertime, summertime sadness

Su-su-summertime, summertime sadness

Got that summertime, summertime sadness oh oh…

-Lana Del Rey

This week, 2 people who we felt we knew intimately, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, took their own lives and left so many unanswered questions, fear, sadness and grief in their wake. We have looked through dozens of images online paying tribute to both these people and you can’t help but wonder, what was overlooked?  Did both Kate and Anthony feel that since they were in the public’s eye that they couldn’t get the help they needed?  Or did they seek help and just never feel that there was a light at the end of the tunnel for them?  

“Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom... is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go.”

-Anthony Bourdain

For us at Team Supportgroups.com, knowing that there are so many sites and organizations, like ourselves, trying to act as a safe landing spot for those with depression, anxiety, addictions, suicidal thoughts...and when someone is overlooked and decides that suicide is the only way out, it feels...utterly devastating.  While logically we know that support, counseling, medication, treatment, only do so much, that the internal desire to continue on must be there, the pain that suicide leaves in its wake, affects us all.   

“We believe in celebrations both big and small.” Kate Spade

When we think of Kate Spade we think color, fun, stripes, glitter, high fashion, not someone who takes her own life.  But you know what, there is no description that perfectly defines someone who can and will take their life through Suicide, none at all, because it affects EVERYONE.  It is an equal opportunity killer, it matters not your religion, your sexuality, your home of origin, the color of your skin, or whether you are straight or gay.  Why, because the trials and tribulations that lead someone to kill themselves can affect everyone, in the form of a lifelong condition, or a temporary setback, to everything in between.

“What if I just want to die?"

"Then I will be sad and disappointed that you cheated yourself out of your chance at existence. Not all of us have that opportunity, you know, to choose life.” - Megan Bostic, Never Eighteen

Let’s honor the memory of both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain by making sure that we, and the people we care about, are properly supported, either on our site, www.supportgroups.com or the many other options that are out there in the form of websites, support groups, therapy, and counseling.  

“I used to think it utterly normal that I suffered from “suicidal ideation” on an almost daily basis. In other words, for as long as I can remember, the thought of ending my life came to me frequently and obsessively.”- Stephen Fry

We can and must do better. -Team SG

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I think when we name our truths on a daily basis, life and her many complications, become easier to bear. -Team SG

www.supportgroups.com

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It is so easy to get into the mindset that when we hit a certain milestone, weight, number of cigarettes, when we go to certain number of therapy appointments, when we are clean for x amount of days, that suddenly we will be happy, that we will accept the person we are. But that sort of thinking reinforces the idea that we are less than, that we aren't worthy. Supporting yourself doesn't mean that we aren't working towards a goal, it just means that we are loving ourselves along the way. -Team SG

www.supportgroups.com

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Happy Pride Month!!!!! -Team SG Never be ashamed of who you are, never doubt you are worthy, you are beautiful, you are courageous, you are all gifts to this world.

Parents of beautiful and wonderful #LGBTQIAkids, hug your babies, march with them, wear your rainbows proudly, be their best advocates.

We are so pleased to be #allies of the #lgbtqiacommunity, you are always welcome on our site, we love you, we support you! -Team SG ❤️ 🌈

https://gay-and-lesbian.supportgroups.com/ https://transgender.supportgroups.com/ https://coming-out.supportgroups.com/ https://bisexuality.supportgroups.com/

❤️ 🌈 ❤️ 🌈 ❤️ 🌈 ❤️ 🌈 ❤️ 🌈 ❤️ 🌈

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Excellent Mantra!  You have to work hard to get what you both need and want out of life.  -Team SG

www.supportgroups.com

Three Simple Rules In Life. 

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Sometimes it feels as if hope has left us and there is no possibility of it returning, but that is far from true.  There is always room for hope, because within us is a genetically built in need to survive, a desire to live and face down our demons.

-Team SG