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#& it makes me so fuckin anxious to be in the middle of this bc i know shes a good person but she just
abyssalpriest · 9 months
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I think whatever I end up doing the lesson is at its core "you need to stop seeing all attempts at saying you experience something as you taking up too much space and being dangerous, and you also need to understand everyone always makes mistakes sometimes (nothing anyone thinks is fully right) and you're not lesser and amateur at channelling because you aren't fully right, and also some third thing he says there is but idk what it is"
#Bc I don't want to be an authority anyway I just want to have fun embodying my role as a channeller of his like....#And IDK I think at some point I need to understand that cycles of abuse happen when people think they're owed something and that others#deserve to go through what they went through. But I.... Am so against continuing the cult cycle that I sit here making light of#my life's work and not respecting is at all on the off chance it might negatively impact anyone in any way bc negative impact on my mind is#just immediately equalled to Cult Activity in my head. But like. Bruh. I don't even like interacting w people that much and I have the#Schizotypal Thing of not having an impulse to make new friends let alone a fuckin cult#Anyway. I need to stop catastrophising ''it would be nice to make this whole channelling Leviathan into an official thing#and test the limits of channelling and divination and whatnot'' into ''oh my god that's making myself an authority like he said not to do#and also that's just borderline making a cult that's continuing cycles of abuse'' bruh. Me occasionally doing a reading about his opinions#on something for someone else while making sure that someone understands my disclaimers that it's being translated through me/etc#Or something like that. Is not..... Declaring myself an authority on anything nor roping them in to rely on me ESPECIALLY when I always#explain how you SHOULDN'T rely on me as fact bc it's never fact like that's....#Anyway. I should've expected this now that I think about it bc he often works with spiritual consultants for human groups and shit like#And he is endlessly humbling lbfr he always tells people who are worth working with when they're being dumb/etc and I want to be#Worth working with. Anyway. God hello I Need More by Misanthrop. ''I need more I need nothing I need more I need nothing'' yeah exactly#That's already a leviathan song this context is absolutely a mood. There is a MIDDLE GROUND.#Anyway again this is years away but#I'm way too socially anxious to do anything close to the thing like this blog just Existing is already testing all my social buttons but hey#ramblings //#Diary //
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many-gay-magpies · 3 months
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HELLO CAN I HEAR MORE OF THE WOLF GIRL MURDER CRYPTID???
She sounds so. So. I beg yuo………..
YES YES OH MY GOD ABSOLUTELY
dude you do not even know I have been trembling like an anxious chihuahua just waiting to be able to go full feral about her to someone. this rocks
OKAY SO. the entire story kind of started because i was listening to a song and i was like you know what this would be great for? being the backing track to a cold open where some girl is running through the woods mid-panic attack after having just killed someone. then it kind of grew a plot from there.
(me, foolishly: oh this will probably not take too long or take up too much space. clearly i forgot just how Able i am to ramble when prompted. put the rest under a cut bc it got LONG)
the cryptid wolf girl herself is named rosalind, or roz for short, or possibly rory for short once she figures out some gender stuff later on... the Central Relationship in the story is between her and her little sister anna. they did... NOT have a great life growing up—dad was an abusive alcoholic, mom was a DEPRESSIVE alcoholic and even when they split up, mom kinda left roz to raise/take care of anna completely on her own... things are better now; mom has cleaned herself up and is trying to be better—but like. that messed roz up lmao. go figure.
so for their whole lives growing up, roz and anna were kind of glued together... ROZ was more of a parent to anna than their own mom, and anna went to her for everything. but in the time of the story, anna's started to Grow Up and Grow OUT of needing her big sister for everything, AND ON TOP OF THAT she's just got herself a boyfriend who fucking sucks and reminds roz WAY too much of their dad... (in my mind I feel like when their parents split and dad left, roz was old enough to actually understand how abusive and shitty he was, but to anna it just seemed like he'd abandoned him, so she's probably a bit stupid about relationships because she's searching for the love she never got from her father/searching for a bandaid to the feeling of abandonment she has from him, but she isn't exactly the healthiest about that and latches onto the first guy that shows her attention, thinking it's Love.)
anyways, this whole deal—anna getting distant, anna being stupid about her bf—makes roz feel Some Type Of Way. she's kind of latched onto her position as anna's pseudo-parent as the crux of her self-worth, so now that anna seems to not NEED her anymore she does not take it well. she wants to protect anna from her toxic bf and from HERSELF, but she can't do a thing and just feels useless because everything she TRIES just ends up pushing anna further away from her. then on her birthday, when she's at her friend's house to celebrate (the best friend she's gay af for, zoe), she makes a wish to be able to protect anna like she used to—aaand the literal moon overhears and basically goes "you have a noble desire, i'll give you my blessing" and turns her into a werewolf (sort of - it's not a whole "turn every full moon" deal, just whenever there's a specific trigger)
anyway like a week after roz's bday when she makes the wish, it's homecoming, and her mom (who is also stupid and just thinks roz hates mark (anna's bf) because she's jealous) has asked her to drive anna to this party mark invited her to... which is in the middle of the woods. with a whole bunch of older high school guys. sure, mom, that's bound to be perfectly safe and legal.
roz has been feeling a little off all week and having weird dreams (unbeknownst to her thanks to her new lunar benefactor). after homecoming, she drives anna to her party... but there is NO FUCKIN WAY she trusts those dudes with her, so she sneaks up to spy on them from the bushes to make sure they're not getting up to any unsavory shit and hurting her little sister. (spoiler alert: they absolutely get up to tons of unsavory shit.) so roz is watching these guys, and it's literally all guys, like anna is the ONLY girl, and they're all older—and they're drinking alcohol, getting progressively more wasted, and anna is refusing but mark keeps pressuring her, and eventually he makes some vague allusions to ah... "loosening her up" with the alcohol so he can have his way with her, while touching her in not-so-great ways... and seeing that triggers roz's first transformation. she just full-on catapults in and tears him to SHREDS, literally. then someone stabs her with a beer bottle and she flees, turns back human, and starts freaking the fuck out because she just killed mark.
okay um. i did not intend to just tell you the entire story up to the point that ive written it. but OH WELL I DID! hope u enjoyed that lmao.
the whole premise of the story is that, despite how much it sucks at first, roz being a werewolf actually kind of brings her, her mom, and her sister closer together... the thing is, the moon, when it heard her wish, it didn't just give her what she asked for—it gave her what she NEEDED. and in general i have lots a feelings about werewolves as the representations of our deepest, most repressed emotions and desires, like if you've seen the whole thing about like "the werewolf is the part of you that LOVES YOU. it is the part of you that is mad at how wrongly you've been treated and wants to PROTECT you." yeah. and i have lots of feelings about the MOON and moon deities as gods of honesty, vulnerability, and seeing the truth of our deepest emotions...
so the wolf is kind of all roz's anger issues just smushed into one big wolfy body. a big theme ive started exploring with the story is that being a werewolf isn't exactly CHANGING roz or making her feel things she's never felt before (like, you know. the murder urges), it's just bringing things she ALWAYS FELT to the forefront and making them unignorable. because above all what roz NEEDS is something to force her to face herself to be able to overcome all the self-hatred she has (because BOY SHIT THERE'S A LOT OF IT). which is also where her relationship with zoe (who ive thought, written, and posted about almost more than the relationship between roz and anna... whoops) comes in.
roz and zoe are best friends. they have been since they were five years old, and zoe has been with roz through like ALLLLL the shit of her seventeen long years. roz is incredibly gay and absolutely in love with zoe, but doesn't realize because she's a fucking dumbass and thinks that's a normal way to feel about her best friend (or, like, maybe she kind of knows something's Different and knows what it IS, but she can't ever let herself realize it fully because ✨internalized homophobia✨).
when the whole wolf thing starts out, roz doesn't tell zoe what's happening, because she's afraid zoe will be afraid of or disgusted by this part of her... which she likes to think is the wolf's doing, but she knows it's really ALWAYS been a part of her. roz keeps the secret from zoe for a WHILE because of this, and keeps pushing her away, but zoe (who Knows roz and loves her back just as intensely) will NOT fucking let her. so there's gonna be like this whole stage of incredibly painful pining, where the moon goddess makes roz realize that she's in love with zoe, but she still hasn't even TOLD zoe about the whole werewolf thing, so there ensue events like: roz in wolf form subconsciously seeking out zoe, breaking out of her house in the middle of the night, going to stand below zoe's window, and then waking up in the morning thinking it was a dream until she sees her window is open and her pajamas are shredded to all hell and goes "shit".
eventually, of course, zoe DOES find out (either by accidentally witnessing a transformation one day or because roz finally caves and tells her, i havent decided yet), and spoiler alert, she isn't disgusted or afraid—she's actually, like, wildly attracted to the feral bloodthirsty vengeful side of roz, because that's the embodiment of roz's deepest, more true self, and zoe has wanted nothing more than to know roz completely—and of course it still takes roz a while to realize zoe's wide-eyed, drop-jawed stares at her are not FEAR but I'M SO GAY IM GONNA OASS OUT HOLY SHIT, because she's fucking stupid.
another honorable mention character: himbo soccer team boy tentatively named matt (gonna change either his or mark's name cuz they're too similar) who witnesses roz partially-transform by accident one day and decides he's going to be absolutely ride-or-die for this tormented lesbian werewolf. he's there for her until she finally gets her shit together and tells zoe what's going on, and long after that. they become a cute little bestie trio and matt ABSOLUTELY realizes how gay roz and zoe are for each other before roz does and he's like JESUS CHRIST JUST KISS ALREADY
(also. most worthy of mention in the yet-to-be-written zoe-and-roz scenes i feel feral about: there's gonna be one after zoe finds out where roz has a really bad transformation, and passes out still wolfed-out in zoe's lap... and she's visibly having a nightmare (plus she's still a wolf which means she's still in crisis mode even though she's sleeping), so zoe starts reading aloud to her while she sleeps until she calms down enough to turn back human... and it starts out as just zoe doing what she's ALWAYS done to comfort and soothe roz, but since roz is ASLEEP it devolves into zoe pouring out her true feelings without roz awake to hear them... then roz wakes up in the middle of zoe reciting shakespeare's sonnet 57 to her and it's like. INSANELY gay. and the whole time matt's off to the side like holy shit.)
ANYWAYS YEAH THAT WAS. A LOT HAHA. I hope u like my feral unhinged asshole werewolf girl :)
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littleoddwriter · 2 years
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Hey I love ur writing 😭💕 I was wondering could u write a fic for Joby Taylor where he sees you at a bar with ur friends and wants to take u home (which u do bc duh it’s fuckin joby) :P I feel like joby would be so good in bad.
Sight to Behold | Joby Taylor x GenderNeutral!Reader (N/SFW 18+)
Hey there! Ahhh, thank you so much!!! <3 Gosh, yesss, thanks for the request, I hope you like what I've done with it! <3 [I really hope this is okay, like I said, writing N/SFW is really hard for me again, at the moment. ^^"]
summary; See above. PWP. Minors DNI.
notes; Gender Neutral!Reader; Alcohol Mention; One-Night Stand; Fingering; Safe Sex; Penetrative Sex.
When he decided to go to the bar, Joby was only looking for release. He wanted to stop feeling so tense and anxious. And he simply wanted to forget about all the stress he’s been suffering under, lately. 
So, he looked around the bar to see if anyone would catch his eye. Someone to take home with him and have mindless sex with to get him out of his head. That was all he was looking for.
And there you were. A gorgeous ray of sunlight that he was in desperate need of taking in. 
At first he didn’t even see you when he gazed at your table, because someone was blocking the view. But he spent enough time checking out your friends that when this person finally walked away his breath stuttered to a sudden halt and his heart skipped a beat, once he caught sight of you.
You were just right for him, he knew.
Now, he only needed to find a way to hopefully have you go home with him. 
In the end, it was a lot easier than expected. He bought you a drink, struck up a conversation with you - which was amazing to him, as he had a lot of fun talking with you - and then he asked if you would like to continue this at his home, which you agreed to instantly, along with encouragement from your friends.
The two of you took a taxi home. His hand rested on your thigh the entire way, while your own palm covered his. You had a small smile on your lips. He wanted to kiss you so badly. But he also wasn’t a fan of making out in the back of a cab. 
“I’m correct to assume you only took me here to have sex with me, right?” you asked, once you walked through the front door and he closed it behind you. 
“Uh, yeah, that was the plan. I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t wanna. That’s okay. I enjoyed our conversation and I’d really like to keep talking to you if you’re not up for anything else,” Joby responded hesitantly, suddenly all too aware that while he had very clearly flirted with you and asked you to his place, he did also say that he wanted to continue talking, instead of having sex. But it was a widespread euphemism, wasn’t it? Or did he fuck up again? He was usually better at this, he thought. He has been off his game lately, though.
“Oh, no, it’s all good, Joby! No worries. I just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page,” you told him kindly, chuckling softly, “Sorry.”
A sigh of relief escaped him. While he wouldn’t have minded just talking to you, he did have the intention of fucking you out of both of your minds. He needed this. He really did. 
Coming up to you, Joby put his hands on your waist and leaned in, “Can I kiss you, then?” he whispered.
You merely nodded before closing the distance and capturing his lips in a gentle kiss. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him further in. He wound his arms tightly around your middle, leaving no place between you, as he deepened the kiss, licking into your mouth to explore it with his tongue, which elicited a tiny moan from you. 
While he was making out with you, Joby got rid of his jacket and slid your own off of your shoulders, discarding both pieces of clothing on the floor without a care. If you minded, he’d apologise later. 
Then, he moved to walk you both through the hallway to get to his bedroom, carefully navigating you through it without breaking the kiss. You made the most beautiful noises when he finally pushed you down onto the mattress, parting from you at last. 
Standing above you, Joby looked down at you with a smile. Both of you were panting, and you already seemed so dishevelled, he couldn’t wait to really take you apart. 
“Okay?” he inquired when he put his hands on the hem of your shirt to pull it up and off of you.
You could only nod, making an affirmative noise in the back of his throat. 
Thus, Joby relieved you of your shirt and started to kiss your neck, down to your collarbone and chest. He swirled his tongue around your nipples until either of them was hard, eliciting more breathy moans from you. He couldn’t suppress his grin when he continued his path down your stomach, licking over it and softly biting into your flesh.
“You’re so fucking sexy,” he murmured against your skin, just above the waistband of your pants. 
“Fuck- Says you, Joby. Fucking mesmerising,” you groaned, combing your hand through his hair and burying it there. 
Joby felt his face warm up with your compliment, only growing hotter with your hand in his hair. He has always been a sucker for that. 
Unable to wait any longer, Joby opened your pants and pulled down off your legs, along with your underwear, letting them fall on the floor and kicking them out of the way. He heard you laugh at that.
He quickly got rid of his own clothes and kneeled on the bed at last, after you scooted up on it to lay in the middle of it, rather than awkwardly hanging off of it with half of your body. Kneeling between your legs, he put yours over his thighs and ran his hands over yours. 
“What do you want?” he asked, leaning down to kiss your collarbone again. 
“I just want you to fuck me, God, please, Joby,” you groaned in answer, pushing back against his his hard cock, making him swallow thickly. You really were a sight to behold.
With a nod, Joby leaned over to retrieve his lube and a condom from his bedside table. He opened the foil package and rolled the rubber over his cock, stroking it to make sure it was staying in place. Then, he poured some lube over his fingers, shuffled back a little to make room and entered you with his index finger. It went in easily, making you moan softly. He pumped it in and out of your for a bit, crooking it to find your sweet spot, before adding his middle finger to repeat that. He spread his digits inside of you, enjoying the noises it elicited from you. 
“Fuck, Joby, please- I can take it, I promise!” you moaned, throwing your head back into the pillow. 
“Just one more finger, okay? I know you wanna be good for me, don’t you?” Joby pushed in his ring finger before you could really utter a reply, as you interrupted yourself with a loud moan.
He had to admit that he was getting impatient, too, though. Feeling your tight heat around his fingers made him yearn to finally feel that around his painfully hard cock. So, he made quick work of fingering you open for him, making sure you wouldn’t be hurting when he fucked you, and then he removed his fingers at last.
You were panting already, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. He had to be careful when he spread the remaining lube from his hand on his cock, lest he’d come prematurely. You were probably the best catch he’s ever made.
Feeling satisfied that you were ready for him, Joby lined himself up with you and pushed his cock inside of you slowly and bit by bit to give you time to get used to it. Both of you moaned in pleasure when he bottomed out. 
“Oh, that feels good,” he groaned hoarsely. 
You merely grinned up at him.
Once he felt you relax around him, he started moving, thrusting in and out of you in a steady, powerful rhythm. Skin slapped against skin. You were both breathing heavily, moaning again and again. The bed sheets rustled. And the headboard hammered against the wall with each thrust. All those sounds were far more intoxicating to him than the alcohol that was in his system.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck- Joby, I’m close!” you groaned after a bit, making him feel relieved because he, too, was close already. 
“Yeah, me too, baby. I’ve got you,” he murmured before capturing your lips in a passionate, spit-slick, filthy kiss. 
He snaked his hand between your bodies and started getting you off in time with his thrusts. You were coming quickly after, moaning loudly into the kiss, arching your back and clenching tightly around his cock. He followed you soon after, unable to hold on any longer when you kept clenching around him rhythmically. 
Panting, he slipped out of you, pulled off the condom, tied it up and threw it in the trash near his bed. Then, he rolled over and lay down beside you. 
With a relieved, content smile, Joby closed his eyes and basked in the afterglow. 
You scooted over and cuddled into him, most likely doing the same as he was.
Finally, he felt relaxed. He would care about all the stress and his fucked up life again tomorrow, he knew, but for now, none of it mattered, while he lay there in bed with you. 
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p-t-f-s · 5 months
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forgot it was possible to see sideblog notifs and im. surprised they have followers but then again so does this blog lmaooooooo. i should make vents again. i miss that. no time like the present.
fuck i need to work on my project thats past due and due tonight and if not turned in would drop me to a C but god. i hate this class and dont wanna but im already on my second retake and this time it was genuinely so much fuckin easier. even if the exact same professor bc shes the only one teaching this class did even worse with scheduling and assignment access this semester. and i genuinely have not been this suicidal since fuckin high and middle school. two different points in each. most bc of my middle school insomnia and All That That happened but my high school wasnt much worse considering i was working part time to full time my senior year of high school while also getting my associate's as my mom was kicking me out/to live with my dad in the near the end of the school year bc of me turning 18 and her being "free" of her legal duties to me [she was not bc by our law that SHE AS A FUCKING FEDERAL JUDGE KNEW was till the child of dicerce is 18 and GRADUATED HS DIPLOMA] she was finally free to move to the opposite side of the country/the political problems and backlash of challenging the baked in theosociological power structure of our city. my birthday was march and graduation was june. literal months and she couldnt wait that fuckin long. and so for the months leading up to my birthday and after i had been living out of my car which both my dad bought for me as an agreement between him and my mom as the end of his child support payments to her and so i wouldnt take the public bus after my mom forgot we had to lie to him that i was being driven to school so he would let me get my college degree bc i had to be at community college at 16 in a Large Dangerous City on the Worst Side Of Town. that shit sucked. i was Stressed and goddamn does it suck being an adult living under your own power and money, no matter how feeble, to know that even when situations are technically objectively better you can still be hella fuckin depressed. and fucking obsessive intrusive thoughts do NOT help but fuck do i wish i had the time to call for help to be able to see a fucking doctor for the first time in my life. like an actual full general doctor and getting an actual checkup and not just a walgreens sick note/athletic packet check. only having ever gone after socially pressuring ur dad by asking his gf for advice while hes halfway done in the bathroom so the conversations still going as he exits so SHE can hound on him instead of being brushed off as an anxious teenage girl bc "whats a doctor going to do?" when asked to go to the er. whos insurance ur on bc you asked him months ago while working on moving in and you couldnt go alone without ur guardian but youd been unable to hear from one ear for months after multiple home/self remedy attempts to clear wax blockage assumption. or my mother coming to visit curious as to why i still have acne after turning 18 bc you shouldnt have acne past 18 and making a dermatologist appointment she paid for to help but having previously told me that she didnt believe in getting sick bc she hadnt gotten sick for years.
and now i have about an hour left to work on a partial coding project bc now IT management is apparently the job of accounting now. i get rationally why theyre doing it and why its important but its fucking stupid and i hate it and again its fucking stupid. anyways. heres to hoping that it goes alright ig but fucking kill me and i hate everything but i swear to fuck if i dont get my bachelors next year im going to lose my shit
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milkshaketg · 6 months
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skewbald belgian named Inksplash. palomino cream or smth.
Florence and Tuscany go the realm. feline hall. human was a bitch who “I turned out fine so they should, too.” maybe I make her too sick to be able to tell anything. black cat companion with purple eyes who can see your death.
someone who comes face to face with their killer who through time loop shenanagins it isn’t in the past it’s the current except they’re alive even though they did kill them and the killer is just like nonchalant or at least appears unbothered
like others are in a time loop and she comes back and is like what
another character just disappears and it isn’t mentioned at all until dead girl returns and is like where are they and everyone else is like who
maybe they come back somehow except not alive
au self inset w Joot in JoJo where I’m a lesbian and therefore an outcast and he and I find solidarity in that and whatnot. I yell at him for how he treats his mom.
Dollarpaw as in sand dollar
SSO Vid Ideas:
dive into SSOblr
Autumn “TroyTheBoy” after their fursona Troy
Featherbelle🥦
Nicodemus(Nico)
Griffin
Wolfgang
fear look in her eyes as the sword is about to come down on her, but is saved by someone else last minute. she doesn’t question it. she just runs. she has no idea what happened to that person.
Angela on a throne looking kinda shocked and surprised and anxious and Akuma is at her feet, all seductive n draped over her n shit and just staring at the viewer sure of herself. not smug, though. just confident.
pink haired self insert for FE3H to draw a Ashe, Catherine, fuckin uhh other pretty lady, maybe Sylvain? Felix? anyone tbh. Claude, too. ladies as well ofc.
-traumatized lady, cannot be on the battlefield or she shuts down. mayb a new crest, a special one. bc she’s special :>
-self regenerating from a big battle who lost everyone and everyone was starving then offered herself up to eat and they found out she couldn’t die by mutilation alone, eventually was captured and used as a human shield and then ofc this fucks her up real bad so they erase a ton of memories so now she’s just ditzy lady being studied except gently at the monastery. ig she can’t really work out bc regeneration.
Flayn x Dedue
someone with a pet named Cream Cheese
self insert where I’m broken and Dirk fixes me I’m a cyborg except he’s got complete control now and I become a husk just used by him to accomplish his misguided deeds. robot turns to flesh eventually even the tail n shit.
oh wait fuck he’s gay.
we don’t gotta fuck it can be platonic extremely fantastically toxic codependency
I am a pet.
this again, except I am a lesbian who forms an unhealthy codependent relationship with Sylvain. he’s chasing my friend who I have a massive crush on, so I approach him. he ofc thinks I’m going for him/his crest but is visibly taken aback when I admit I’m in love with my friend and I need him to back off. we chat a bit and become acquainted or whatevs. he does. then after the five years comes back and she’s dead, I’m heartbroken obviously. emphasis on bad disassociation too. and boom, codependence. then he’s basically backed into a corner and forced to marry so he chooses me bc he knows I’m not tryna use him for his crest. I’m literally 90% into girls thank u.
fire emblem + blorbos + desired self inserts
Canary method(if you’re gonna act like a clown I’m gonna treat you like one)
did I fuck up my circadian rhythm in middle school? because this is not a case of bad habits.
no food :(
issues at work bc girl I don’t have peripheral hearing. god I feel so fucking disabled.
Ottalie
Muse
Rush retains the same mass no matter her form, in addition to being albino.
(hey, are you alright?)(pans to me full strawberry outfit + strawberry makeup + accessories)(yeah, why?)
goth in beanie: are you okay?
strawberry: yeah, why?(HEAVY pink blush w white freckles + lashes and whatnot)(holding my stuffies)
goth in beanie: alright,,,
caption: inside you there are two wolves
me, blank expression: listening to a cat get graphically and brutally murdered and remembering how violent my favorite books as a kid were
Skyclan’s Destiny or whatever is literally just skyclan getting slowly slaughtered one by one
dark eyes of ebon
Rose looked up at Silva. She honestly looked kind of pathetic, one of her lashes hanging haphazardly and her lipstick was smudged. She had seen better days, certainly.
She looked from Silva’s hand, to her face, then back to her hand, not even seeming to register her face wasn’t all that visible. Without much hesitation she took her hand. She had no reason to even consider refusing the help. This was a safe town, no one knew who or where she was so no one would be coming for her. If she had articulated these thoughts they would have sent a pang of pain through her, but as luck would have it her brain stayed full of fluff for now.
“Thank you, appreciate it.” She allowed herself to be pulled to her feet, flashing a smile at the girl. “Now… do you happen to know where we are? Of course you do, you must if you’re out here. Could you show me to” she looked down at her unsightly appearance. She didn’t even want to know what her face looked like. “I guess going out isn’t an option, now is it? You know the direction to Fen’s stable? If you could be a gem and take me there.”
Mon: 10-3
Tue: off
Wed: 10-2
Thurs: 5-9
Fri: off
Sat: 3-7
Sun: 10-3
SpectrumSetup-B8
stealthnest127
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cemeteryxdriven · 8 months
Text
feeling them bruises again
so many bite marks. hickeys. whatever. he made them with his teeth and they feel so fucking good and that’s all that matters. everything kinda hurts but in the best way, bruises inside and out.
he’s so fucking pretty it’s driving me batshit. everything about him is so perfectly my type. conversations are on cassette in my brain, rewinding and playing and skipping to random snippets. like I’m just tryin to drive my ass home and all that’s in my head is how fucking pretty he is and a broken-record replay of the shit he says when we’re in the middle of it, moments stuck on repeat, flicker-flickering behind my eyelids like they’re a drive in theater screen.
I smoked too much weed too quick at one point, bc I’m a fuckin idiot. that made me kinda anxious bc like, I smoke a fucking lot, and overdoing it is like rookie mistake, and I don’t really wanna be sick in front of anyone, let alone the guy I’m fucking. buuut point was i had no choice and had to puke a little to get rid of the brief wave of nausea, and he followed me with a bottle of water, offering to hold my hair back. I know that sounds so small and dumb but fuck, nobody’s ever offered to hold my hair while I’m sick, and I was puking cherry soda into his damn bushes just because my dumb ass had one bowl too many a little too fast.
also he asked me for a crash course in MCR and the other bands I’m obsessed with. he asks about my writing, how I’m going with different fics. even when I warned him that was like opening the floodgates for me he still wants to learn like, everything I can show him about the shit I really fucking love.
and he said he’s gonna teach himself Early Sunsets Over Monroeville so he can play it for me. for. me. nobody in my fucking life has ever just said they’re gonna learn one of my favorite songs just so they can play it for me, just to share in something that makes me as happy as my music does. as soon as he said it I swear I fucking died inside in the best possible way, he showed me the progress he’s made tonight and it’s so fucking sweet.
(something something he tastes like you only sweeter something something)
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britt-thats-it · 11 months
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Being back on tumblr is so nice. It’s like I never left (except I can’t remember everyone I used to follow/they probs left too).
(feelsies under the cut)
I only left because this couple I almost dated (who took my not dating them very hard) sort of cyber stalked me here. I kept making new accounts and they kept finding them and showing them to everyone in the scene we were all part of and following all the people I was mutuals with and it was… not cool.
Anyway, I’ve been really struggling with grief since quarantine. I had a huge falling out with my sister who I had been living with for the last 4 years. Her lack of recovery was badly interfering with my recovery and I was so deeply triggered by her behavior that I was barely functioning. I was in a constant state of flared up, in so much pain every day, even laying down was uncomfortable. I wasn’t able to eat bc my reflux was going crazy, I was starting to drink too much (something I hadn’t struggled with in years), I wasn’t sleeping. The pressure of being home together all the time took its toll.
Coincidentally, divine timing being what it is, my partner and I were spending hours on the phone every day. Just falling so in love. We’d already been together for almost a year, but her two other relationships falling apart, career change, and my chronic illness and not remembering how to be in a relationship (lol— it had been a LONG time and I was fully down to spend the rest of my life alone) kept us at a bit of a distance. We had been very close friends for a couple years beforehand, so when we took things to a romantic level, the feelings progressed quickly but we just didn’t have much time for each other. Anyway, she invited me to come stay with her. I was only planning on 2 weeks, but I literally never left. Everything just felt so easy and sweet. We handle each other with such care. Over the last 3 years my life has become a kind of stable that I’ve never (I mean NEVER) experienced. I love it and I am so grateful for it.
But I remember from my trauma-filled childhood, the survival mode of the present puts off the feelings for later. It isn’t until you have a calm moment that the feelings about what you just went through hit you.
The last 7 years hit me like an 18 wheeler. Going no contact with my family, living on the road, losing my job and being homeless, moving to nyc on a wing and a prayer, living with my sister and reliving A lot of my childhood through her behaviors, struggling through the capitalist ass New York art scene as an autistic person while also being very poor, working my fucking ass off, *just* about to hit my stride and do this fuckin career thang and boom. Covid.
I made an album, collaborated on a friend’s album, started my podcast and wrote a book. I’m in the middle of making another album. All this while feeling myself really trust someone, really learn what partnership means, really feeling like an adult, but also feeling so so wounded. The grief has been the heaviest thing I’ve ever felt. I lost myself a little bit. Insert bloody goopy chrysalis metaphor here.
I did all this but not joyfully, not really. Something was missing.
I have been trying, in the last few months, to unironically find my bliss again. I lost my sparkle, I lost my drive. I really feel like I experienced my own metaphorical death. I was anxious and raw, I second-guessed every interaction because I felt like I didn’t know how to be a person. I was completely sober!! Just fucking raw dogging life!!! I was scared all the time. I forgot my passions, I forgot my purpose. I still worked on stuff, I still created (a lot that I’m proud of!!) but idk I just wasn’t the same free-spirited confident lil powerhouse I came to know myself to be.
I think I gave too much on other social media. I think I was too vulnerable and too available and it got me into trouble. I think I confused work for life and I soured my own creation process for me. It became too important. Every hobby, every passion became kindling for money making or making “it” or whatever. I forgot how to have fun. I burnt myself out.
I recently started remembering hobbies I had that I never shared with anyone irl. Exercise/weight lifting, which I picked back up again in February, slowly testing the waters to see if my disordered relationship to it would return, it didn’t. Feeling myself getting stronger being exactly what I needed (literally and metaphorically) and all the good stuff that does to my confidence. Playing music just for fun, just sitting down with an instrument and playing 😫 locking myself in a room and flitting around like a mad scientist creating something I love 😫 dancing 😫 meditation 😫 journaling 😫 pulling tarot cards just for me 😫 and finally, longing for connection of some sort; for actual vulnerability and not people just fucking marketing themselves all the time— I remembered how much tumblr helped me. How much it inspired me. How it helped me become the person who made all those scary changes, who learned who I am and learned how to walk away. So much good came from that decade I spent here, so I decided to come back.
It’s exactly what I needed.
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Character ref for; Jack, Maddie and Jazz,
Art by @gally-hin / @gally-hin-phantom
Okay so first off; in terms of Actual redesign, I didn't change a whole lot. I'm actually very fond of Jack and Maddie's design's, my only real issue was with their proportions. Like...look as a lady person who is also thiCC I do not have a fucking wasp thin waist and I'm sure I'm not the only one, lmao. As for Jack? Godamnit he looked like a brick on toothpicks. Just Let him be a fucking Bara man! Anyway of course I asked Gally to do this one bc they're fucking great at drawing different body types
I also cannot and will not take credit for Jazz's outfit. I didn't have any issue with her canon clothes aside from them being a bit plain, so what she's wearing here was literally pulled straight off of her original concept art, which I will link here.
Anyway, getting to the Actual character lore now, let's start with
Maddie Fenton
-Full name is Madeline (I haven't decided on a maiden name yet)
-Born and raised on a farm in Arkansas, had a southern accent that she trained herself out of in college bc it was just one more reason for people not to take her seriously. Still sometimes uses "y'all" completely unironically bc old habits die hard.
-She has a really big family, and they're proud of her accomplishments but feel like she's wasting her talent studying ghosts, because really, up until the Fenton portal was up and running there wasn't even any solid proof they existed. Her sister Alicia is the one outlier there, and even if she doesn't understand, it she completely supports her.
-She majored in engineering and minored in psychology at Wisconsin EDU. Her, Jack and Vlad were all in the same engineering class, and that's where they met.
-Maddie is particularly interested in how ghosts think, analysing their behavior, their motives. Not only that, but they aren't just dead people with unfinished business, they've built an entire culture in the Ghost Zone that is completely seperate from humanity, and she wants to understand all of it.
-skilled marksman and 9th degree black belt, (which is. The highest fucking level there is holy shit? I looked it up after I saw it on her wiki page.)
Jack Fenton
-He's from Minnesota (Amity park is in Illinois and him and Maddie didn't move there until after they got married) 
-okay, "but why minnesota specifically" you ask? Because. I crave. Foot ball discourse. 
-minnesota vikings vs green bay packers guys do you UNDERSTAND WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS 
-The funny thing is that Jack only watches football casually while Vlad is a fucking die hard so when these two got together to see a game it was like....
-Jack: Here to chill and have a good time.
-Vlad: Primed and ready to start a fist fight at any given moment.
-I am never not going to be salty about how Canon Jack was portrayed like a complete moron 99% percent of the time. Like no...theres a difference between Actual Stupid and ADHD induced dumbass-ery.
-Am I saying Jack Fenton has ADHD? Yes. why? Because I also have ADHD and I have always vibed So Hard with his Character.
-Jack is loud and easily excited about things that interest him. He's impulsive and fidgety and yeah, a bit absent minded. He has a mouth that clearly runs so much faster than his head. His train of thought doesn't get derailed so much as it stops and takes several different detours on the way to it's final destination.
-and that's only the tip of the iceberg, really, I'd need an entire essay to get into this completely, but I just really relate.
-Jacks skill-set / interests regarding ghosts vary a bit from Maddie's, most notably in the sense that he doesn't believe that they're static entities already set in their ways, completely incapable of change.
-Jack majored in engineering and minored in Biology at Wisconsin EDU.
-Jack's work with tech is a bit hit or miss. He definitely HAS the engineering skills, but the intrest isn't always there and he's constantly jumping back and forth between different projects. He tends to focus on the concept work and schematics and leave most of the assembly to Maddie as a result. It's an arrangement that works well for them, and has drastically decreased the number of unintentional explosions in the lab.
-A lot of Jack's work tends to revolve around ghostly biology and Ectoplasm, figuring out how ghosts are made, what makes them tick, what the hell Ectoplasm Actually Is, how it's used as an energy source, ect.
-and yes, that does also mean he handles the dissections.
-See that facial scar? Yeah, that's not actually there at the start of the series rewrite but it's very important for plot reasons so I had to include it. Can't say much more on the subject because SPOILERs owo.
Jasmine Fenton
-Jazz is a 18 years old, and a senior at Casper high.
-Which means she prepping to go away to college and won't be around to keep an eye on Danny.
-Obviously that doesn't mean I'm just writing her out of the story, oh no. Know why? Because she's also gonna go to Wisconsin EDU. ya know who else is in Wisconsin? Fuckin' Vlad.
-Jazz is autistic, Although she passes for neurotypical in part due to symptoms being completely over looked in girls due to gender stereotyping and also the fact that she doesn't have any special interests that are considered " "too weird.""
- Her hyperfixation with psychology started at a young age in an effort to better understand people, and social/emotional cues and all that.
-Jazz is well liked at school but she's not popular or apart of any specific group or clique. She's very kind and compassionate to people, and just about everyone knows her, but you'd be hard pressed to find someone who actually Considered her a friend. Except maybe Spike.
-I'm gonna have to give spike his own Character ref at some point, but he's this scary looking goth kid that's been held back twice. He's actually super sweet, just really fuckin' quiet and anxious. Him and jazz kinda ended up gravitating towards each other. She might do most of the talking, but they look out for each other.
-its not like jazz doesn't try to socialize, but it's difficult and she's found it much easier and less stressful to just. Keep to herself and let her interactions with her peers stay shallow and superficial. Sure, it's lonely sometimes but it's better than constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing or making some other misstep.
-One of Jazz's other special interests is football, and it's not so much the players or the game as it is the strategy of it? Started out as one of those things you do to bond with your dad, and she ended up getting really into it.
-She absolutley winds up getting into stupidly intense discussions with Vlad about it, too, lmao.
-Her and Danny probably bonded over SBNation bc that shit has both sentient satellites and ridiculously complex football mechanics.
-She's completely oblivious to the fact, but Dash has a massive crush on her bc holy shit this girl understands football (hey bud your toxic masculinity is showing put that shit away)
-I mentioned that Danny was in Cheer for a bit in middle school so it makes sense that she'd also be pushed into doing some kind of extracurricular activity.....so.....she was in a martial arts class for a bit thanks to Maddie and has a good grasp on self defense.
I think that's everything? I feel like I'm leaving things out tho? Idk if I did I'll come back and add on to this later and also pls don't hesitate to ask questions bc it really helps me flesh things out better.
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choibinn3 · 3 years
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get to know me game!!
tagged by: @tyunni
tagging: @tyuncafe this is suuper long btw so dont mind it if u dont wanna do it!! hehe
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what day is your birthday? dec 8th, sunghoons bday 😥 (thats how i heard abt enhypen actually, my friend was like "OMGG u share a bday wirh my bias!!!!")
what’s your favorite color? pink <33 it makes me so happy
what’s your lucky number? 8!!! like my bday date :')
do you have any pets? no :(( want a kitty real bad though
how tall are you? skipping. no comment. next question.
how many pairs of shoes do you have? like THREE and i rotate between two ♥️
favorite song? kpop?? um rn fever by enhypen or ghosting.. non kpop would be amoeba by clairo (shits GOOD plz go listen to it)
favorite movie? not the biggest fan of movies, but im suuper into slasher films/horror!!! so maybe smthng from there??
what would your ideal partner be like? jungwon ♥️ LMAO
do you want children? nope!! love kids but parenting doesnt sound like smthng id want to do unfortunately
have you gotten in trouble with the law? not that i know od?? Dont tell anyone
bath or shower? shower.. i dont thinj ive ever taken a legitimate bath b4, always showered
what color socks are you wearing? soz to say this but socks suck!! also irs 11pm and im in bed BUT THAT STILL STANDS
favorite type of music? like genre?? no clue, but i typically like music that reminds me romantic pining (aka, fever ♥️ or around you by hyunjin)
how many pillows do you sleep with? pillows are four!!! plushies,?? infinite bitch!!
what position do you sleep in? curled up on my side hugging smthng hehe
what you don’t like when you’re sleeping? yk that sleep where like,, ure sleeping... but u feel awake the whole time?? and rhen u wake up fuckin groggy like uve just been lying there.. that.
what do you have for breakfast? no breakfast!!! 2 cool 4 that. also i wake up at like uhh 11am-3pm sometimes
have you ever tried archery? NO!! sharp objections should not be in my possession apparenrly. tch 😒
favorite fruit? strawberries? mangoes?? anything fresh
favorite swear word? no favs, jm too indecisive for that :((
do you have any scars? yea, i dont have a cool story for them though.. i was just a scab picker kid lol
are you a good liar? SHITTY. horrible, the worst. i cant lie dor shit nd it gets me all shcoked everytime someone is like "mai ure LITERALLY so bad at this" during a lying game lol
what’s your personality type? istp-t!! same as huening whoooo 🎉🎉
what’s your favorite type of girl? mean girls...... i jusy like mean ppl in general but mean gurls have a special space in my heart ♥️!! theyre so demonized but as long as theyre not acrually complete assholes (like homophobes, bigots yk?) they r everythint 2 me
innie or outtie? gots an innie :]
left or right handed? right
favorite food? no favs again!!! but SPICY FOOD YUMM
favorite foreign food? probs uhh Bún bò Huế!!! im viet so idk if that counts as "foreign" but omgg ITS SO GOOD
are you clean or messy? messy!! i feel like everythings much more comfy and natural.. not like too messy though
most used phrase? BARK BARK (not proud of this one guys)
how long does it take you to get ready? like 40-60mins... ONLY BC i zone out tthough and forgot im meant to be gettinf ready LOL
do you talk to yourself? Yes. i do <3 thats also why i read&write fanfictions
do you sing to yourself? mhm!!! esp when the songs too good i sing along or throughout the day
are you a good singer? actually, literally not sure at all. i took chorus since like elementary school tho if that helps
biggest fear? heights and commitment ♥️
are you a gossip? what does this mean. but i think?? i like heaeinf gossip but im not tonna get outta my way to talk abt it ?
do you like long or short hair? on myself short!!! but guys&girls nd just everyone in general look so damn good with long hair sometimes
favorite school subject? none lol <33!! school sucks this question pains me every time i see it on back2school answer sheets
introvert or extrovert? introvert, im a lil hermit all cooped up inside my room all the tim3 ://
what makes you nervous? ppl i like are cool!!! or like ppl in general, i cant even order my boba by myself dude
who was your first real crush? i THINK. it mightve been my bff from when i was in 5th grade.. idk if this counts bc i (THINK) but like...... i cried so fucking much when we stopped being friends. it felt like a breakup and im still not over it tbh (tmi?)
how fast can you run? not fast at all but i can JUMP
what color is your hair? black, still have virgin hair!!
do you like your own name? umm tbh no, but my screen name (mai) is my middle name anyways so i dont think that matters too much
what makes you angry? people who dont listen :( pisses me off but tbh i dont get angry often
do you want a boy or a girl as a child? NEITHER. if i had to pick maybe boy but NOOOOO
what are your strengths? ive been told im endearingly stupid (like twice by the same friend) and it stuck with me. like AWWW :(( U THINK IM ENDEARINGG??
what are your weaknesses? id say im too socially anxious, public speaking makes my hands shake and i cant speak so its real bad
what’s the color of your bedspread? like white with blue polka dots ^_^
what’s the color of your room? this nice beige color,, like the color of my blog rn actually!!!! i based it off of jungwons color scheme but ig this works too
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qualidude · 3 years
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oh my god ur post about mental illness symptoms and neurodivergency hit me right in the heart like,,,,, I love having adhd bc of what I can do, like I can focus on something interesting for so long but the emotional sensitivity fucking sucks. it's such a weird thing to straddle but you articulated it perfectly
aw yeah boo, I feel you so much
when I was first diagnosed, which ngl it was hard for me to be convinced I had adhd, I THOUGHT the only adhd symptom I was experiencing was rejection sensitivity, which was causing me to constantly be anxious/ruminate/obsess over how I was coming off to others
TURNS OUT that literally ALL OF MY PROBLEMS were actually just a biproduct of me getting constant feedback from everyone that I was too much when I was younger. As a result, I ended up dulling myself down to the point where I was tolerable to neurotypicals?? To the point where for years I didn’t even know who the fuck I was? If that makes sense?? like I made myself so neutral that no one could possibly not like me (which, surprise surprise, was also the root of my ED. I felt judged for even eating! who would have fuckin thought lmao)
What I find most annoying about finally getting this diagnosis is, because now that I’m older and hot, everyone just thinks I’m ‘quirky’ lmao. Basically an excellent example of how disgusting, appearance-based, and fatphobic our society is. People started treating me nicely specifically based on my appearance and I’m pretty sure lots of people still do.
It’s nice finally knowing who my real support group is, who really knows me, and who really gets me 💖 Gives me so much joy watching losers from my middle school pine after me on Instagram when I remember very clearly what they used to treat me like
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snarkwrites · 4 years
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sprung spring | milf is not a bad word | eddie brock {m}
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PROMPTS USED:
“Milf isn’t a bad word.” + Neighbors / friends with benefits + single mom au + “Did you just slap my ass?” / “Actually, I firmly grasped it.” / “Did you just quote Spongebob?” + heavy flirting / teasing + “Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together. + on the kitchen table + quickie
NOTES:
Okay, warning here... I haven’t really ever... written Eddie before. So, this is just the way I kinda see him and my thirst combined... Nobody kill me pls?
Also, if enough people bother me, I miiight be tempted to make a fic of this at some point bc I do have some ideas...
WARNINGS:
Uhh.. almost sex on a table, bad humor ( Eddie, ftw ), sappy moments (Eddie... again.) unprotected sex, 69 / oral sex and body fluids.. Oh and a nosy sentinent who pops in and out at the beginning ( lookin at you, Venom, you lil shit.) 
PAIRING:
Eddie Brock x OFC, Maya
TAGGING:
@micolegg​ | @missjenniferb​ | @cabotcoves​ | @kyleoreillysknee​ | @chasingeverybreaking wave bc they asked / are into Eddie and/or are on my taglist. If you wanna be tagged in my multifandom stuff, please go [here] and add yourself. 
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Hunk ← Lucy is spending the night with my sister, so… If you wanted to come by…
Hunk ← There’s something we need to talk about. If that’s okay with you?
Hunk ← Also, you realize you don’t play fair, right? That voice of yours on the radio this morning… I have not been able to get it out of my head all day.
Maya almost deleted the texts and didn’t send them, but she took a deep breath and hit send instead. Rita was right. She needed to stop dancing around it and go for what she wanted. The longer she waited, the more reason she gave herself to chicken out. And Eddie Brock made her happier than she’d been in a really long time. Eddie and Lucy got along well, he doted on her. Lucy loved Eddie to death, even when Venom decided to crop up in the middle of storytime some nights. Things just felt right with Eddie.
Tonight, Maya thought to herself with a silly grin, tonight is the night I tell him I’m done keeping us low key. I know that’s been bothering him and I need to fix that. She placed her phone on the counter and stripped down, stepping beneath the warm water. By the time she’d finished her shower, her cell phone was ringing.
She stepped out of the shower and grabbed for it, thinking it would be Eddie. When she realized it was Randy, another neighbor who’s relentless pursuit as of late was growing tiresome, she frowned at the phone and answered.
“Randy, hi.” “Hey, I was wondering…Are you busy tonight?”
… Hopefully… Maya thought to herself as she bit her lip and listened to Randy’s idea for a date, his pleading with her to give him one chance as she dug around in her closet, trying to settle on an outfit for the night, … I should just answer the door naked… that’ll really throw Eddie for a loop…
“So.. about that date?” Randy finished up, pacing his living room, scowling to himself when Maya offered up an excuse for a third time, “I’m real busy. Trying to finish remodeling Lucy’s big girl bedroom… Maybe later?”. He took a deep breath, reminded himself that if he wanted her, he had to keep trying and he offered to come over later and help out, frowning when he heard dial tone and realized that Maya had abruptly ended the call before he even got the offer out. Maya put her phone back down, rolling her eyes. Randy wasn’t fooling anyone. He was irritated and frankly, coming off a little pushy with his advances lately and honestly, Maya didn’t care because she’d made her mind up and she was over Randy’s attempts. Taking herself off the market.
She hadn’t clicked with him like she’d clicked with Eddie. Putting the conversation out of her mind, she stared anxiously at her cell phone. Eddie hadn’t texted back yet and it wasn’t like him. Just as she was about to sit down the phone again, it lit up.
She bit her lip as she realized that Eddie was texting back.
--
Eddie stared intently at the cell phone in her hand. Bumping into his ex and her new fiance earlier had him really thinking about his own thing with Maya. And apparently, it wasn’t just him thinking about it, because as he tried to come up with a response, Venom butted in ,, Tell her how you feel, Eddie Brock. Tell her that you no longer wish to keep things private.”
“But I don’t wanna make her uncomfortable, either. There’s a way to do shit, buddy.” Eddie muttered as he took a deep breath, biting back a quiet groan at her slightly suggestive second text. By the time he reached the third one, he was torn between anxious and horny. Anxious because she hinted that they needed to talk and in his past, that had never been a good thing and horny because the whole tone of the string of texts was… Somewhat racier than normal for her. He was getting mixed feelings here and he wasn’t sure how to respond.
Kitten → On my way now. Too bad Luce is at Rita’s. Venom was gonna share these chicken nuggets with her. ;P Kitten → Oh? What about, hm? Kitten → Hey, listen… If my voice was stuck in your head all day, consider it payback because I have not been able to stop thinkin about you all day either.
“I’m a fuckin sap, that’s what I am.” Eddie shoved the phone back into his pockets, slipping the motorcycle helmet down over his head and straddling his motorcycle, revving the engine. The drive across town seemed to both fly by and take hours and by the time he was parking his motorcycle at the curb in front of the 2 story townhouse next door to his own, he’d already started to brace himself in preparation of what she might want to talk to him about.
By the time he was standing in front of her door, she was opening it, pulling him through the door and into the house by the collars of his leather jacket. Her body molded against his and she rose to tiptoe, crashing glossy and soft red lips against his mouth almost hungrily. His hands moved down her back, stopping on her ass, squeezing and rubbing. It made her rub against him and she gave a needy little whimper as Eddie muttered amused into the kiss, “Thought you said ya needed to talk to me, hm?”
,, Let it be, Eddie Brock” Venom piped up. But naturally Venom would be in favor of… whatever was happening right now, because Venom had apparently ‘bonded’ with the two females in question.
,, So have you, Eddie Brock.” Venom took joy in reminding him. Eddie cleared his throat as a warning for Venom to pipe down and thought his answer, ,, yeah well, you know how the whole we gotta talk thing goes, buddy”.
Once Venom was silent again, amusing himself within, Eddie turned his attention back to waiting on Maya to say something. Instead, she seemed to be distracted, her hands resting against his jacket, working it down and off his body, tossing it at the bench next to the door where her purse and keys sat. Eddie chuckled against her mouth as he muttered again, “Not gonna answer me, kitten?”
Maya pouted up at him, pulling away to catch her breath, heavily distracted at the moment. Her heart was racing in her chest and she knew that he’d be curious and that she couldn’t just show him how she truly felt about their current arrangement, she’d actually have to tell him too, but for some reason, it all seemed so much easier in her head.
… because if I keep the words in my head just a little longer, then this can’t go badly… He can’t just decide that this is too serious for him and end it… the thought had her frowning a little and trying to shove it out as quickly as it came. She pressed into him a little more, Eddie’s back meeting the door frame with a soft smack as his arms wrapped around her and he gazed down at her, slightly panicked look in those blue green eyes of his.
Again, she took a deep breath, locking eyes with him this time. “Well, I’ve been thinking and I… I can’t keep on like this…”
His face fell and Maya swore, giving a soft laugh as she shook her head. “I’m not breaking it off, you dork. Will you let me explain? Please?”
Eddie took a deep breath, preparing himself. ,, Sure, she’s sayin she’s not endin things. Means nothin.” he thought as he gave a nod. “I’m listenin, kitten.”
“Well, all our friends have a bet going on...And earlier, me and Rita were talking… And it made me realize something… I don’t want to keep this just between us. I don’t want this to just be hooking up all the time or spending nights at each other’s place.. I mean I love it, don’t get me wrong but I… I want more, okay? I want you. And me.. Together.” Maya finished rambling, gazing down at the front of his tee shirt intently, walking her fingers up and down his chest as she held her breath.
Was she about to lose him? Why was it taking so long for him to answer?
Eddie’s jaw dropped, because he hadn’t been expecting her to say that,  at all. He’d been expecting her to end things.
,, Well? Are you going to answer her, Eddie Brock?” Venom roared to life, almost insistent. Eddie cleared his throat in warning again and after a second or two, his mouth opening and closing as he dragged his palm over the back of his head, it hit him.
The whole reason he’d been feeling antsy and restless lately was because she seemed to be in favor of keeping this between the two of them. She didn’t want more and he did. Rather than waste even more time, because he could see it in those big brown eyes of hers, she was starting to panic a little, he slid her up his body, stepping across the hall and into her kitchen and dining room, sitting her on the counter as his mouth attacked her own hungrily, messy and biting sloppy kisses, the soft smacking sound of mouth against mouth filling the quiet and sexually charged tension between the two of them.
“Fuckin awesome.” he breathed against her neck, the warmth of his breath tickling her skin as she wrapped her legs around his hips and laughed softly. He was leaning in closer, nearly pressing her back against the table, muttering almost distractedly, “I was going to take you to bed but I just don’t think we’re gonna make it.”
The knock on her patio door had the pair springing apart and Eddie scowling as he glanced back. Randy, Maya’s neighbor on the opposite side stood there, gaping, giving Eddie a glare that had Eddie rolling his eyes. Maya swore to herself and muttered against Eddie’s neck breathlessly, “What the fuck made him think I wanted him to come over, I wonder?”
“Well, to be fair, kitten… you’re kinda passive. Took you five minutes of dancing around it to tell me to get lost that night I came by.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t want you to get lost. I want him to get lost.” Maya nodded to the patio, giving a sarcastic wave of sorts at Randy, who was still outside knocking.
“Maybe we should give him a show, huh?” Eddie teased, but Maya rubbed herself against him, her arms wrapping tighter around his neck as she mumbled lazily against his lips, “Don’t you dare tempt me, Eddie.”
“Maybe I want to tempt you.” Eddie laughed, the corner of her mouth connecting with his mouth lazily as he went in for another kiss. She pouted and cleared her throat, nodding to the door and reluctantly, Eddie pried himself away from her, walking over to the patio door, sliding it open long enough to say, “Hey Randy… Maya’s busy right now. Try not coming back, yeah?” and sliding the door shut, locking it behind him because something about the guy just screamed creepy as hell and frankly, Eddie wasn’t in the mood to let Venom out to play, ruining his own current fun for the night.
He scooped Maya off her kitchen table, carrying her up the stairs, kicking the door to her bedroom open with his foot and stepping inside. After sweeping the top of the dresser free of the clothes on top of it, he was stepping between her legs, his mouth latching onto her bottom lip, sucking as his hands went straight for the tie in the leopard print silk robe.
The robe pooled around her and Eddie gave a quiet growl as his eyes roamed over her body and he smirked. “Well shit, kitten.” he raked a hand over his head, flashing her a teasing smirk, “You know tearing off your clothes is the fun part, right? The hell am I supposed to do now?” as he tilted her head to the side, pushing her hair out of the way, his mouth moving down the side of her neck, littering soft skin with bite and suck marks as his hands moved up and down her body. Her legs wrapped around his hips, squeezing tight and Eddie groaned quietly when she rubbed herself against him again, more urgently.
“Well, you could fuck me.” Maya managed to whimper as her mouth moved down the front of his throat, leaving marks of her own behind on him, smirking as she did so. Her hands went down to the hem of his tee shirt and she started to tug it upward and throwing it onto her bedroom floor as soon as she had it over his head, lowering her mouth and  settling it sporadically on his chest and abdomen in various spots after slipping off the top of the dresser, stepping so that she stood in front of him. His eyes fluttered open and shut as the blunt of her teeth scraped at his chest, her mouth latching onto a patch of skin, sucking. Fingertips dug into her body and he stared down at her, muttering quietly, “ Oh no, kitten. What I’m about to do to you is more than fuckin you. We’re past fuckin you now, kitten. This is making love.” as she stared back up at him, biting her lip, her hand hovering over the button on his favorite pair of jeans.
She gave a soft smile and a giggle, working the button out of the buttonhole and then slowly unzipping his jeans, giving a tug to jeans and underwear so that they hit the floor. As her lips moved in a line over his abdomen, he tensed and a growl slipped out of his mouth, his fingers catching in her hair as she hit her knees in front of him. Her tongue danced over the tip of his cock and as she took more of him into her mouth, he groaned, thrusting carefully against her mouth, his head falling back as his fingers curled, gripping the edges of the dresser, pressing his back into it just a little more in an attempt to stay on his feet. “Fuck.” his toes curled against hardwood flooring and the hand tangled in her hair tugged at it as he thrust his hips against her mouth a little faster and she took him deeper in her throat, teasing her tongue over the vein that ran the length of his cock.
“Kitten, look up at me.” Eddie coaxed, staring down at her intently, an adoring and oh so hungry look in his eyes as they locked on her.
Maya pulled away, wiping at her mouth, biting that lip. Eddie nodded to the queen sized bed behind her and leaning down, he gripped her chin, pulling her mouth against him as he muttered into a deep and almost bruising kiss, “On the bed, kitten. Right now. On your knees...”
Maya swallowed hard, slinking over to the bed, settling on it on all fours and Eddie made his way over, flopping down, the mattresses giving a slow creak at the sudden motion. Once he’d settled in, he reached up, gripping Maya’s hips and pulling her up his body, his nose bumping against her cunt as he inhaled deep and growled quietly. “ Wanted to make this fair, kitten.” Eddie muttered as his tongue traveled up the inside of her thighs, and her mouth wrapped around his cock all over again, her head bobbing up and down. As his tongue worked over her clit and then his lips latched on, she whimpered aloud, her body tensing a little, the humming sound she made vibrating through his length and making him grip her hips tighter, rocking them back against his face as he continued to suck at her clit. Maya’s hands gripped his thighs and for a few seconds, it felt so good that she almost forgot to breathe, the bobbing of her mouth as she took him deeper into her throat. The sucking sounds of his mouth latching onto her clit over and over shattered through the silence, competing with the sound of her tongue lapping greedily at his cock. His grip on her hips tightened and he growled, feeling her starting to drip, his tongue darting down her inner thigh to clean up the mess, smirking against soft skin as he did so.
“So fucking sweet. Like candy.” Eddie mused, his teeth scraping against her thigh, latching on erratically, littering up the insides with bite and suck marks, starting the slow and torturous journey back up, his nose bumping against her cunt, Eddie inhaling deep and latching his teeth onto dripping folds as the suction from her mouth tightened around his cock. “Fuck. That’s it, kitten.” his voice came out more of a growl than anything, and he plunged his tongue deep into her dripping sex, slurping and licking her clean as he felt her legs starting to shake. “Get on your back, kitten. Let me take care of you, hm?” his breath tickled the insides of her thighs and her cunt as he muttered the words quietly against.
All Maya could do was nod, let him pull her down onto the bed. As he settled himself on top of her, she went to wrap her legs around him but instead, she bent them at the knee, resting a leg on either side of his body as he lined himself up, his face lowering, his mouth crashing against her own hungrily as his teeth tugged at her lips, kissing until she felt her lips aching and swelling on impact.
Tonight felt different. There wasn’t any rush, they weren’t just tearing each other’s clothes off and going at it like they’d gone mad. Eddie caught her gaze as his cock sank into her, inch by inch. He bit his lip and gave her that crooked grin, leaning down to mutter lazily against her mouth, “Ah, this was better than a quickie on the kitchen table anyway, right kitten?”
“Fuck.. Oh god yes.” Maya breathed against his neck as she dug her fingers into his shoulders and tugged at his hair, rocking her hips upward to meet his slow and deep drives, the smack of skin against skin competing with the quiet creaking of the bed beneath them with every little move they made. His hips connected with her body hard; almost enough to leave bruising behind. His mouth latched onto her neck, dancing across her throat, littering her skin with more bite marks and bruises and when it met her mouth again, she was almost breathless. She held on tighter, a muffled sigh soft against his neck, sending a shiver racing through him as he chuckled and stopped, planting noisy and playful kisses on her face. “That sigh was a good thing right, kitten?”
“A very good thing, Eddie.” Maya crashed her mouth against his, softly smiling into the kiss. He tilted her hips upward slightly, driving into her deep and slow, over and over, almost as if he were hell bent on fucking her deep into the mattress on her bed, that goofy smirk on his face as his gaze settled on her, pinned below. “Good.” he muttered softly against the shell of her ear as he buried his cock inside her even deeper, panting against her ear, “Because all I wanna do is make ya happy, kitten. You know that, yeah?”
“Yes.” Maya moaned, her head tilting, her eyes fluttering open and shut. Her orgasm was building at almost a blinding speed and she was literally almost seeing stars, her body tense, her grip on Eddie tight and only getting tighter, “Oh fuck.. Yeah baby, c’mon.. Faster. Please?”
Eddie chuckled, shaking his head no. “We got all night, you and me.” “But… ah fuck… I’m so close, please.” Maya whimpered out, her teeth grazing against the edge of his ear as her legs gripped his hips tighter and she rocked herself up against him, trying desperately to get her own way, pouting when Eddie’s hips pinned her in tighter. Eddie growled against her mouth, his teeth tugging at her lower lip, his lips clenching around it as he muttered with a dark chuckle, “Not yet, kitten. You gonna be good for me?”
“Yes.” Maya said it quickly, because he was starting to slow to a full stop and she wanted him to keep going, keep fucking into her like he was because it felt too good for him to stop now. And she knew what a tease he could be.
“So wet, kitten. Feels so good, burying my cock inside you.” Eddie grunted against her throat as his mouth danced over it, his teeth latching sporadically in different spots. Oh, he was making it his mission to leave her completely covered in his marks.
He wanted it obvious whose woman she was now. If he could, he’d hire a skywriter and have them fly over the city, advertising it. His heart raced at the reminder that she wanted to be with him. He still hadn’t fully gotten his head around it.
“You’re mine. Right, kitten?” Eddie breathed against her skin, catching her gaze, flashing her that smirk she loved so much. Maya bit her lip and nodded, no hesitation. “All yours, baby.” she clung to him as he continued to fuck into her, slow and deep. His cock slammed into her G spot over and over and all she could do was moan and whimper, begging for her release.
Eddie groaned as he felt himself getting even closer. He tried stopping again, it didn’t work. Staring down at her, he bit his lip. “You gonna cum for me, kitten?”
“Yes.. Fuck yes.” Maya moaned out, digging her nails into his shoulders and dragging them down his back, making him buck into her harder and faster, so fast that the smack of skin against skin echoed through the room and almost overpowered the sound of her headboard hitting the wall at a steady pace. HIs hips stammered and she rocked herself against his thrusts eagerly, her orgasm ripping through, leaving her shaking and moaning, whimpering his name even louder, Eddie joining in when he felt her walls vise his cock, milking him of his seed, his mouth crashing against her mouth, deep and heavy kisses, the soft sound of their smacking lips and heavy breathing filling the air as he fucked them both through their orgasm.
Spent and sated, Maya pulled Eddie down on top of her and Eddie rolled onto the mattress, pulling her into his arms, kissing the bridge of her nose as she nuzzled against him. “Fuck. I know I say this every time, kitten, but that was amazing.” Eddie muttered, raising a hand to brush hair out of her eyes.
“It always is, baby. Are you thirsty? I can go get us some water.” “A little, yeah. Don’t want you to move though.” Eddie pouted as Maya pried herself out of his embrace and stood, tugging his tee shirt down over her head. Eddie reached out, lightly smacking her ass and Maya turned, poking out her tongue. “Did you just smack my ass?”
“Actually, I firmly grasped it.” Eddie chuckled, pulling her back down onto the edge of the bed. Maya laughed against his mouth, “You totally just quoted Spongebob… This isn’t getting us water, baby.”
“Okay, fine.. But hurry back, kitten. A guy gets lonely up here without ya.” Eddie planted a noisy kiss on her lips and let her loose so that she could go downstairs and get them both a glass of water...
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