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ravenwoodalum · 6 months

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on karamelle, why it sucks, and redeeming azteca's reputation.

I just got to Karamelle for the second time, and good lord. I hadn't forgotten how much I hated it, but it hit me like a wall of bricks. And I'm already preparing myself to marathon it and be fucking done questing here for at least a year.

I think it breaks down like this.

Baby's first workers rights movement/sugary-sweet surveillance state Listen. I know this is a game that doesn't allow for player characters to have much individual impact on the in-game narrative. I know we've had to do errands for cops. I know we work for a war criminal. I KNOW there are flaws in the system. But there's something about the way that Karamelle's set up that makes it all feel so. much. worse. And that's the fact that Karamelle has such a stellar reputation within the Spiral before this. The happiest place in the Spiral, the sweetest treats in the Spiral. Everyone seems to fucking love this place. Almost no one outside of those actually working there seem to understand how corrupt it is. And so the YW is talked down to at every turn, like this is their first exposure to a corrupt environment. And sure, maybe it is within, canon. YW gets isekai'd at a very young age and then made into a child soldier, maybe this is actually the first time in canon that they've been introduced to these concepts. But (and this may just be me) it feels really rude to the player -- who might actually have experience with these ideas -- to make them feel like a fucking idiot with the dialogue options. Karamelle's characters just feel rude.

Oh, so the Gobblers were a fatphobic, Roald Dahl type thing from the start. Cool cool cool. Any of you ever read Roald Dahl's book "The Twits"? It's a very unremarkable story all things considered, except for this bit.

Aside from Roald Dahl's unavoidable history of antisemitism, does this remind you of anything? Honestly, this reminds me of the Gobbblers.

We first meet the Gobblers around level 10 in Wizard City -- creatures driven by consumption. And then we get to Empyrea and hear that the Alphoi -- skinny "civilized" creatures -- can become Gobblers if they eat too much or are unhealthy in their eating habits. Which makes one of our oldest running enemies a loop-around fatphobic thing, ESPECIALLY when we get to them in Karamelle, the home world of the Gobblers. Rosina, especially, just oozes fatphobia and diet culture. The literal vilification of being fat isn't even subtext, it's just text.

The Old One, The Cabal, and what to do when your escape from the world ends up shoving what you were escaping from right back in your face. When I was in sophomore year of college, fall of 2019, I had one of the worst mental health periods of my life. Antisemitism was fucking everywhere, I was always a moment away from a panic attack, and it felt like no one understood. While I'm lucky in the fact that I was able to get an official diagnosis for genetically inherited PTSD, alongside the reassurance that I wasn't fucking crazy, there was a period when I just needed to go home for a moment. So when I was going back to my dorm from the dining hall to make sure all my stuff was ready to go, I opened up tumblr and made a post on a long-gone RP sideblog I had for the Swedish Chef (y'know, from The Muppets? long story), and before I'd even gotten halfway across campus, I'd received threatening and violent messages from someone RPing as Borat, which only got worse when they realized they were talking to an actual Jewish person.

That escape from reality didn't even last five fucking minutes before the horrors I was trying to avoid found me.

Now, Wizard101 has always been a source of comfort for me. I made my account fourteen years ago, and I do not know what my life would look like if I hadn't done that. There are flaws with this game, yes, sure, but over the past five years (since I got a wiz compatible laptop) I've developed a bit of a reliance on it to get me through the horrors. No better form of escapism.

But no art form is free of the horrors.

And Wizard101 has the fucking Cabal and Old One.

The Cabal within the fiction of Wizard101 is a secret, nefarious organization pulling the strings on events across the Spiral, controlling history from the shadows. This term literally originates in antisemitic conspiracy theory, with the term 'cabal' originating from the term for Jewish mysticism, 'kabbalah'. And I promise you, you've heard plenty of applications of this conspiracy theory in real life too. It feeds into the idea that Jews (or 'global elite') control the government, the media, the banks.

And then, we get to the man in control of it all. The Old One. Whether or not this was intended, he's a walking, talking antisemitic caricature. The octopus as a symbol for the mythical Elders of Zion is a longstanding dogwhistle (see attached for a guide to this and many other visual dogwhistles). "Oh, he's based on H.P. Lovecraft-" So he's based on the works of a famous racist and antisemite, cool cool cool.

It's just exhausting, walking through a world that is so clearly modeled after Germany and other parts of eastern Europe, and finding antisemitism around every corner. And even more exhausting considering it's almost impossible to tell if they meant to do it. Antisemitism is so fucking ingrained in the world at this point that I don't actually know what they meant to do here, what they did maliciously or out of ignorance, or if any of it was put in with the purpose of turning it on its head. Over the past few years, it has become glaringly obvious that a lot of people don't realize when they're running across antisemitism, or even taking part in it. Including people I really thought would know better.

Side note. For those of you who know I see Dasein as Jewish, you may be wondering how I balance that out with the antisemitic nature of The Old One, since they share a physical form. I think of it like this. Dasein did not choose The Old One. He did not choose to resemble that, but he can attempt to reclaim it. Dasein's Judaism comes not from the resemblance he holds to the hatred that haunts us, but from the love that keeps us going. He questions authority and longstanding tradition, chooses to do what's right instead of what's expected, and is kind in the face of hatred. He literally makes himself, and a world, out of nothingness. Something out of Nothing. He's so Jewish you guys.

The Spiral's "Worst World Award" goes to... I know we all say "fuck Azteca" pretty often on this website, but I don't think it deserves to be deigned the worst world in Wiz. My main gripe with Azteca is how inaccessible it gets after Xibalba strikes -- the flashing lights aren't exactly photosensitive friendly. Which further lends frustration to my completionist nature, meaning I have to finish all quests, badges, and fishing before I finish the world (making it take forever to finish). Aside from that, there really isn't that much wrong with the world (and if you argue that it sucks because you can't save Azteca, I get it, but some tragedies are inescapable by their very nature). It's a problem of gameplay, versus a problem of plot in the case of Karamelle. And maybe its just because I'm a writer, but problems with plot feel much more egregious. I really do think Karamelle deserves more vitriol than it gets.

G-d, I can't wait to get to Lemuria.

#behold. the long awaited kvetch.#wizblr #w101 #wizzy101 #wiz101 #wizard101 #y'all better check out the resources i've linked :gun:#there really is something to be said about fantasy worlds where Judaism does not textually exist but antisemitism DOES.#like hmm. where did that come from. anyways.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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AITA for staying friends with someone?

I (25, nonbinary) became friends with someone (19F) online because they liked a fanfic I wrote. Let's call her Jessie. At first, Jessie messaged me just to say she enjoyed my fic and shared a fanart she drew of it. I was absolutely blown away by that, and let her know how nice her art was. Which started us having a pretty normal online friendship. Chatting about silly fandom things or ranting about our jobs or school or whatever. She is a really smart and funny person!

Jessie started writing fanfic, which I encouraged. It's fun to write! Of course I would read her fanfic and let her know I enjoyed it.

But then it turned into her only messaging me to read her fanfic. Like, we never can hold a conversation anymore without it turning to talking about her fanfic. I don't even bring up my own fics anymore because I know it will switch the conversation to Jessie's fics.

And, Jessie started to pressure me to write her ideas. Like "Oh, this would be a good idea! You should write this! When are you going to write this! I'll be waiting to read it. Have you written it yet?" When I never agreed to write it. Half the time, it's not even something I would want to write.

Or, I read this one fic and wrote a post on tumblr about how much I enjoyed it, and then minutes later had Jessie spamming my messages about how I should make a post promoting her fics. And exactly which ones I should promote because they don't get enough attention.

But the most recent thing Jessie has been doing that has annoyed me is continuously asking "If I think her fics are just as good as my fics". Like, I'm not a talented author, in my opinion. I'm pretty average. But I feel like the answer Jessie wants is for me to say Jessie's fics are better than mine. It always feels like Jessie wants to put myself under her which is...just not a good feeling. I usually just say I think we are about the same, but Jessie never seems satisfied with that answer.

I feel like our friendship has shifted to Jessie only wanting to use me for attention and the small amount of publicity I can offer. (Which isn't much. It's not like I am a well-known person or anything. I'm certainly not exactly a BNF writer or anything)

Here is where I am asking if I am an asshole. I've gotten to the point where I don't even LIKE Jessie anymore. Her actions have just...soured our relationship. I just roll my eyes when I see a notification from her, or shit talk her in real life to my brother. I procrastinate answering her messages.

But I really don't want to be mean to her face. She has had a really hard time in life. Her parents are kinda shit and her boyfriend left her (which he wasn't so great either). She has a ton of health issues, money issues, relationship issues, etc. I don't want to just drop her and make things worse for her life. But also, I just kinda can't stand the behavior anymore.

Part of me thinks I should just set up more clear boundaries, but on the other hand I just don't want to put in the effort of fighting her for those boundaries. And I am pretty sure it would be a fight.

Am I an asshole for continuing the motions of a friendship for a person I don't even like anymore? Should I just end the friendship and let them move on, or would that be worse?

(Asdfghjkl123)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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voidaxolotl · 3 months

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🚨Warning: Rant incoming🚨

Strange take, I'm not the biggest fan of playing Jackbox.

To be clear, this is not really a review of the games themself- Jackbox is fun and I think people should play it. This is more so on my experience and feelings about playing it. It's nothing against the games themselves, they're fun and for the most part they're expertly crafted for late night gaming and every inside joke thats stemmed from those late night gamings are still hilarious, however that doesn't make my lack of enthusiasm about playing jackbox any better.

I'd say I'm a competitive person, but since I'm kind of bad at most things I've had years to figure out how to handle the negative emotions that come with losing (and oddly enough the negative emotions and guilt whenever I do win)

Im no master at it, but I've been able to communicate when a game is making me upset and I'm fortune enough to have friends who understand my reasonings and understand that in multiplayer pvps (mostly Dead by Daylight) I'm all for taunting but it grates on me way more if I'm on a losing streak.

I've connected that my inability isn't to the fault of others so I shouldn't be aggressive towards them when I lose, and that I just need to keep at it and I'll eventually become better at the game, which has come true for the most part. Im able to push aside the hurt I get from losing either because I know I have gotten better (DBD, Among us, etc) or its a team effort so I don't feel isolated in the lose (L4D, Among us, Phasmo, etc).

But Jackbox has a specific way of making lose feel... Worse.

For those who don't know, most Jackbox games have players pitted against each other to make clever or funny responses or prompts, the player with the most liked response or promot wins the game- a simple idea that for some reason makes losing continuously hurt more and more. It makes you feel like the least fun or entertain or even least interesting person in the group when you continuously land in 4th or 5th.

It's to the point that playing Jackbox takes a lot of my energy, each round making me feel more exhausted and overstimulated, making it harder to answer prompts in a funny or clever manner which ends in more lose and more exhaustion- a vicious cycle.

I have not brought this up to my jackbox loving group for many reasons (mainly because I'd feel like the only person at a drinking party who doesn't drink, with the other people of said party forgetting what non-alcoholic exist) as well as the games being enjoyable to watch.

This is something that I need to work through and perhaps one day I will communicate this to my group, but till thenI think I will change to just observing any future gameplay instead of actually playing for my own health.

I don't know of anyone elsefeels similar about playing jackbox orany other game, but either way I know losing sucks and makes its hard to want to get better at something, especially if it feels personal or targeted. What we can do in the face of those defeats is determin if continuing down that route would be detrimental to our health and perhaps take a step back from it, maybe till another time or never again, or keep learning from our lose and get better.

There is no shame in deciding that pursuing something isn't for you, and in this case pursuing Jackbox and trying to win would probably do me more hurt then heal so I know it's better for me to step away. Maybe one day I'll feel comfortable while playing, and maybe one day losing in it won't make me feel the way it currently does, but until then I'm going to keep myself safe and happy and you should too.

Anyways, congrats if you've made it to the end and thank you for reading!

#rant #bit of venting #as a treat #jackbox #a bit of jackbox slander?#berhaps?#emotions #yuck #just a silly little guy with silly little feelings #long rant #kind of #feels long reading it

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supersoftly · 2 months

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Hey, I've noticed over time you seem to have issues with how politics are handled in Canada. Would you say that America or Canada has better politics? Or are they equal in how good/bad they are?

It's not a competition :p

I've honestly stepped away from American politics to focus on my own homebase concerns, so I really couldn't tell you. I feel like Canada has gotten worse, but it's where I live so I experience it first hand, I'm heavily biased. I have American friends from many different places and experiences, and it sounds like they have problems not dissimilar to our own, but idk, a lot of it feels like it depends on your system of values. Erosion of our human rights and freedoms weigh pretty significantly up there for me personally, so all this thought crime crackdown, failed gun control measures and post-covid trials reveal to me that we're in for really bad times rn and they're likely going to get worse, even if we radically change hands in our parliament come next election. I've heard bits and pieces of what concerns America's freedoms, but it doesn't sound nearly as bad as what we've been going through, but it might be that I'm just not a local in the states and have no idea what's actually going on, so I really don't know how to compare something like that. My only real comparison is that everyone I talk to no matter where they are feel like they're struggling to get a leg up in life, whether it's money, socialization, career development, relationships, personal fulfillment, mental health, and the rest. I don't feel confident that these recent miserable conditions caused mostly by politics is an experience limited to my country unfortunately.

#canadian politics

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furiousgoldfish · 2 years

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Thanks for opening the inbox again, and a huge thank you for being such an awesome source of information and a great person!

Tw emotional stuff, hints of physical(?), drugs and alcohol, and general uncomfortableness

So about a month ago I was able to finally escape my adoptive parents (emotionally and psychologically abusive, neglectful, physically abusive in the way that they overworked me and I developed health problems because of it, and my adoptive mother pretty much ran a cult (hits almost all the points in the BITE model) ). I ended up going to my aunts in a very far away city, and she made herself sound like a really awesome and good person.

But she is... I wont say she is a bad person because that sounds mean and she is letting me stay at her house rent free, but she is... not great.

Firstly, she drinks, and she drinks quite a bit. She'll go outside and drink some bottles if wine and then some beer and get drunk, and like she isnt the worst drunk?? But she likes to drive people around when she is drunk and can be quite uncomfortable. She also smokes a lot of weed and keeps many many large jars of weed in the house, and will get high at random times and still drive people around high and do stuff like that.

She can be okay when she is high, but she is also high or drunk a lot of the time, and has nearly gotten into car crashes because of it (just within my time of being here that has happened multiple times).

When she isnt high or drunk she can get mad at odd things? She hasnt gotten so mad that she attacks (verbally or physically) but shes done that before in the past. Recently one of the things she's been mad at is my cousin and I spending time together, because of a mix of transphobic, queerphobic, sexist and general projection of past people believes that we will get together into a relationship. BUT I (the older one) would be the victim and the target because I'm the poor little orphan child who has gone through a lot in foster care and everything (but she is part of my adoptive mother's cult and loves her and believes everything she says).

She is super super disrespectful and downright inappropriate with my cousin,and us slowly becoming similar to me? In a way at least. She treats me like a stray dog she took in and doesnt really like what I do too much?? She goes to other people and sometimes cries about what I told her because it was "so terribly sad" even though shes put her own kids and grandkids in similar positions? She also shares my personal information to anyone she wants, including the fact that I'm trans.

She has been getting progressively more mad at my cousin and I (for context, my cousin is also on the run from their horrible parentals and dont have a 100% safe place to be, but their current guardians are better than the last) and it's been really really really uncomfortable. She has used manipulation tactics to get what she wants and has triggered our ptsd big time and then calls us weird, creepy, uncomfortable, and immature for reacting that way.

She also has had talks about how weird it is that I have trauma and absolutely refuses the idea my cousin has been traumatized.

Idk what to do because I really need to move out but I'm not ready to move out (just escaped from a cult and trying to adjust to the world without much of a support system because I wasnt allowed to know many people growing up). My cousin really needs a place to stay but with the whole rumors that my aunt is spreading if they came to live with me things would get worse (they are already seemingly getting worse).

I've also been trying to get a list of places to spend time outside of the house so I can get away from my aunt, but that can only last so long and I dont have anywhere I could go overnight (until my cousin's place is free again, but just like them coming here their guardians can get odd).

Do you have any advice or opinions or pointers or anything youcould offer?? I could deeply appreciate any insight from you.

I've uh, sent a few things in to you before and you've been a big help for insight then. I super appreciatethose times of help, thank you for doing what you do.

I'm so happy you got away, that could not have been easy. It's so fucked up they managed to ruin your health beforehand, I've been affected like that too and I despise it.

I had to look up what BITE model is, and it's Behavioural, Information, Thought and Emotional control, extremely cult oriented, and dedicated to keeping a human being completely controlled. It looks terrifying, here's a link to an explanation for anyone else interested.

I'm glad you're at your aunt's place, this sounds horrific. It's okay to complain about your life conditions anytime, even if you don't pay rent, even if you feel like you owe gratitude. It's important to be able to acknowledge when something bothers us, and isn't in line with how we want to live our life, and you're supposed to do it, at all times.

I'm responding to this as I read, because it's so long, and okay the first complaint is big – I don't think anyone abused would feel safe living with a person who drinks a lot. It's unstable, unpredictable, non-reliable, non-consistent person around you, and you do have to always be on your toes, worrying about what will happen next, because drunk people are not at their most responsible – and driving while drunk is dangerous, I'd be upset as well. It would be much safer and more stable to be in the company and under care of people who are sober, reliable, responsible, consistent, emotionally available to you, and this is not the case, and it has to be stressful, and filling you with anxiety.

Almost car-crashes are terrifying! That's human lives being treated as play.

Mad when sober is even worse, that would freak me out so much, I can't imagine how it is for you. Especially if she's attacked you in the past, it can feel like you have to pretend everything is okay on the surface, but in reality, you're just waiting for the moment when you'll inevitably be attacked. This limbo of not-knowing and always expecting it can be just as bad as abuse, I remember hating it even more. I don't know if you do feel like this, but I'm picking up from the circumstances that it's possibly a concern.

Kinda stunned that you're being judged for the possibility of getting into a relationship with a COUSIN, people will just say anything? I'm so sorry, you do not deserve that kind of phobic projections on you, you should be free to spend time with whoever you please, without anyone getting mad. It sounds like the projections are wild and completely misplaced.

Being disrespectful and innapropriate with your cousin also crosses a line, nobody would choose to live with a person who disrespects their loved ones, and it's becoming clear you're stuck there, and stuck tolerating this. Also pretending to be your saviour but then crying to other people how difficult it is to hear about your pain – that's a violation of trust. Who would want to tell someone about abuse, only for that person to go spread it around with their own narrative of how it burdens them? Sharing your personal information and your trans status is also invasion of privacy and a breach of trust, that's awful anon.

I hope your cousin and you are a support to each other, and can offer some solace and emotional peace to each other, because it sounds like the world is not treating you with love you deserve.

What the aunt is doing to you is not okay, manipulating a person sick with ptsd is absolutely disgusting, lowest trash behaviour. Victim shaming and blaming them, also, garbage and trash behaviour, gross. Nobody should ever be doing that to you, for as long as you're alive.

I understand you can't immediately go and need some time to gather yourself, to make sense of your situation, and to find some stability within, and that's normal and okay. I wish you'd be treated better, because this toxic treatment can make the trauma worse, or prolong it and normalize it since you still have to suffer abuse, but you're progressing, you're moving forward, and even if it takes time to move, it's okay. I believe in you, and I know you'll go to a place that is safe and fills you with security and warmth.

It's smart to spend time outside! I often did that too when with abusers. It is sad that outside can be draining and doesn't work long term.

I wish I could give you an advice, but all I really can is acknowledge that your situation is bad, that you've done everything right, and that you're right to be disappointed and upset at how badly you're still being treated. Based on where you came from, this might seem like something small, easy to overlook, but it does stir emotions in you and you're able to register it as wrong. That's a great progress to make!

You've escaped from worse than this, and I believe you'll do whatever recovery you can under these conditions, and then when you find a way, get even safer, get a place that makes you feel protected. I wish you the best of luck, if anyone has any other piece of advice for anon, please share it.

#cult abuse #ask #alcoholic caretaker #abusive caretaker #abusive family members #toxic environment #anxiety-filling environment #recovering from abuse #escaping abuse

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cheerstotheelites-if · 1 year

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Birthday Gift Conundrum

Hey guys! I tried my hand at writing my first fanfic for Fleur's upcoming birthday. Featuring Felicity, Emery, Weylyn, Cooper Ophelia and a mentioning of the birthday girl who deserves the best in the world, Fleur.

Note: I do not own the characters nor the original story "Cheers to the Elites". All credits to the author @l-writes-things for creating the story @cheerstotheelites-if.

note note: The characters may act different from the original.

note note note: timeline of the events is the in the first year of MC and Fleur dating period

note note note note: sending it in the form of an ask because for some reason the submission option is not working for me

note note note note note: for fear of the ask getting too long, the fanfic will come with parts. Enjoy part 1

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14 February 2023

You can see the special mark, the word written in capital letters “IMPORTANT” on the date, as if to further emphasize its significance to the calendar’s owner.

3 months ago

Felicity POV

“Emery, go call MC to come down for dinner.”

Her child had been cooped up in their room from the moment they arrived home. It was not the first time and not too unusual for someone studying at a prestigious school as Lumintoille. But this habit of theirs has gotten worse lately. Unless she sends Emery to distract them/call them down (drag them), they won’t budge from their seat.

*Sigh* She should have a talk with them.

It’s good to be studious, but they should be careful. Pushing their body to its limits could damage their health. She and Zeke would know.

(Author note” little does she know her child is worrying over a birthday gift for their girlfriend…)

Just as Emery is about to knock on his parent/sibling’s door, he hears some voice sounds. Not only his parent/sibling’s. Others too. Familiar voices. Family. His eyes lit up.

And just like that, he opens the door excitedly, barging in their room.

Are you talking with Big Brother Weylyn, Cooper and Big Sis Ophelia?

MC POV

They did not expect Emery barging into their room. But even if he knocked, would they have heard?

Probably not.

They were too focused on the topic of the group call, which they initiated. Asking for help was not their forte, nor their preferred option, buuuuuuuuut… they had to.

You see… Observing Fleur carefully everyday would result in her reprimanding them for staring too much. Mulling over the perfect gift for her yielded results… though not helpful ones considering the huge list their brain came up with. Then the anxiety from the overthinking on how she would like the gift crept over. It didn’t leave for months.

Dispersing the stray thoughts away, they smile softly: “Yes Emery. Come and greet them if you’d like.”

Emery rushes to their parent/sibling’s side and they lift him up to sit on their lap. He takes the phone from where MC left it earlier, thrilled to talk with Weylyn, Cooper and Ophelia.

“Hello! – he greets them, waving his free hand at the same time.

“Hi!” “Hello!” “Heyo!” – all three of them greet Emery at the same time.

“Well, MC, you didn’t like any of our ideas so maybe you should ask Emery for help” – Cooper suggests, grinning mischievously similarly to a Cheshire cat.

“Hmmm. Not a bad idea. So, buddy. What do you think we should prepare for Fleur’s birthday?”- They ask half-jokingly.

Big Sis Fleur’s BIRTHDAY?! Tomorrow?! Why didn’t you tell me, MC?! – Emery shouts at them with a pouting face.

All of four of them laugh. Emery, leaves the phone on the table and crosses his arms, still pouting. “Meanie.”

MC stops their laugh and apologizes: “Sorry. I forgot to tell you. But don't worry, her birthday is not tomorrow, I promise."

"When is her birthday then, MC?" - he asks. Pouting face vanished, replaced by an expression of curiosity, but still keeping his hands crossed.

Adorable

Thinking that, they chuckle and lean over to take their handmade desk calendar to show him.

"Here, Emery. Look at the marked date. 14 February (14 Blossom). That's when we celebrate and give our gifts to her."

"Can I give her a rose? Will she like it?"

"Of course. You can give her any gift and she will like it." - their girlfriend always had a soft spot for their son/sibling.

"What will you give her?" - Emery innocently asks, not knowing their struggles with picking a single gift for her.

"Why don't you help him with picking a gift Emery?" - Ophelia chimes in.

"Why not give her a rose too?"- a good idea but not one they preferred. They wanted to give her something more unique and memorable. Not something they could give her any da-

Wait.

Memorable?

They could do that!

Something handmade and memorable. But what?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading until the end. Stay tuned for the next part: "Birthday Gift Preparation"

🥺🥺🥺

Words cannot describe on how I feel about this jgfhds and there's more coming?! 😳😳😳

Thank you for sharing your work, Fic. I can't wait to read the rest of it.🥺💙💙💙

#Fanart!#fanart-fic #Fleur #Birthday

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digimon-digital-adventures · 2 years

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Minor Update and Building Enemies

So this post has two parts. One, making sure everyone following knows that I’m not really updating the tumblog much anymore and I’m much easier to reach on the Discord linked in the pinned post. I know this is probably frustrating but I’m just not cut out for regular posting here anymore because I’m old tired and have a full time job now instead of doing a lot of this work on my down time. So things will continue to be sporadic but I’m still available, just not really here on this site. If you don’t want to join the DDA discord that’s fine, you can reach me at TM93#4119 on Discord too.

I know this kind of sucks, and I know I started getting popular via tumblr and still have a backlog of messages (and if I haven’t gotten to them I’m sorry, I legitimately don’t even know how old they are anymore. I am eternally grateful for what everyone here has done to help get the word out about DDA whether you joined our Discord or not.

Second this has been a long time coming, but DDA doesn’t lend itself well to a fullblown bestiary or monster manual. So this post is going to lay down some guidelines and set up some future posts I have planned about making enemy encounters in DDA.

So first things first; how do you design an enemy for DDA? It’s recommended to prioritize Health as your survival stat and Accuracy for your offensive stat, if that hasn’t been gone over I can ramble about that for a bit.

Effectively, Health as your primary survival stat makes you easy to hit and able to survive bigger hits, but still makes the numbers players can toss at you bigger. This allows players to feel strong and important without breezing through things too. This isn’t to say Dodge and Armor should be ignored, just that if you have to pick a big survival stat, Health is the way to go.

As an aside for this point; be very careful when taking Combat Monster on an enemy who prioritizes Health. It can get out of hand very fast and should be weighed more similarly to a lower end Boss Quality when an enemy takes it.

Offense is a bit different; we really only have two options between Accuracy and Damage, but of the two Accuracy scales a bit worse after initially hitting. So this allows a bit of variance in how much damage you deal while still being threatening (but not so threatening that you’re liable to oneshot an unlucky player outside of big outliers).

So now with those two key theories laid out, we can dive into what we’ll be sorting enemies into; general roles! This is similar to how players will fall into build archetypes between Strikers, Tanks, Supports, and the like, but we’ll try and branch out a bit as stages go up.

Striker: this role is primarily about dealing damage to threaten the enemy. There’s several sub-roles between where you like to be on the field like melee strikers vs ranged strikers, or frail strikers that don’t have much durability vs bulky strikers who are kind of like miniature tanks. Almost every Digimon will like to be a Striker as a secondary role because being able to deal damage is just a good idea, but primary strikers will often branch out into other roles themselves as options open up more.

Tank: this role is about being very difficult to take down while keeping allies alive. This is usually done with a taunt or interceding to make you the most appealing target on the field, but there are other more creative ways to tank. When categorizing enemies I’ll try to make three broad types of tank between the meat tank, the dodge tank, and the control tank. Meat tanks are your standard ‘big hard to take down’ type monster, dodge tanks survive by being hard to hit in the first place, and control tanks are a bit of a hybrid between a tank and support who keep you locked down between grappling or battlefield control to attack them first.

Support: Support is an incredibly broad category I use a lot, but effectively it’s anything from buffing allies to debuffing enemies to controlling the field. These Digimon exist to help make their allies lives easier in one way or another, effectively making the other party members more dangerous by extension. This category may need more breaking down but I’ll be sure to cover the archetype the best I can.

Other: some enemies won’t fit into an easy classification, being very generalized, or just plain wacky. This won’t be gone over much in these guides but know that you could make something say, just built for movement that doesn’t do much damage or support otherwise, or a Digimon built to make skill checks.

What to expect going forward: I’m going to be making a few posts that I plan to get to eventually (hopefully in the next month because it’s been a repeated topic on the Discord) all about enemy templates using these roles going from Rookie to Mega. Each one will be about a specialized role, and I’ll be treating them similarly to how I used to do the Digimon Spotlights. I’m doing it this way to help make sorting through all this a fair bit easier. I’ll also probably try to make a downloadable pdf for people to take on the go but that’ll take a bit longer.

#Digimon #Digimon: Digital Adventures #DDA

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altheterrible · 2 years

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No, rates of mental illness will not stop increasing if we all just learn about mindfulness.

I recently read an article about a study that examined the impact of a mindfulness training program in schools on the rising tide of youth mental illness cases. The study ultimately found that “universal prevention is probably not effective“ meaning that the blanket program of mindfulness training did not have a clinically significant effect on mitigating the increase in youth mental illness cases. The take home points from the study were:

Older children appeared to benefit from the intervention but younger children didn’t

Children with prior mental health challenges didn’t benefit from the intervention and in fact they may have gotten worse

Children’s views of the intervention were very mixed; many did not practice at all outside the classroom, and those children didn’t do as well

Mindfulness programs are being implemented in schools around the world because they’re cheap to run, require very little effort from actual mental health practitioners, and brief observational studies suggested they helped. But the MYRIAD trial, which was a more in-depth, lengthy, and better designed study, actually suggests that these mindfulness programs don’t do much to offset the increase in cases of youth mental illness.

This isn’t really a surprise, though.

It is a well established fact that stress increases symptoms of mental illness. There are multiple studies that show in many people, decreasing their stress levels has positive effects on the severity of their mental illness symptoms.

Many people attribute the increasing rates of mental illness worldwide to the fact that people are experiencing more and more stress. The stress of the COVID pandemic, for example, has been blamed for recent increases in the rate of mental illness worldwide.

In many people, practicing mindfulness does in fact help them better regulate their stress responses and leads to fewer and less severe symptoms of mental illness.

So why didn’t these mindfulness programs in schools work?

I think it’s because implementing mindfulness programs in schools is an individualist solution to a problem that is going to require a societal overhaul to fix. It’s a band-aid on a wound that needs a tourniquet.

People who are critical of psychiatry and psychology have pointed out repeatedly that the current paradigm in the treatment of mental illness is to treat mental illness as purely an individual issue, rather than as a problem having roots in both biology and society. So the current trend in the treatment of mental illness is to focus on what you can do to “fix” the individual--give them drugs to alter their brain function, put them in therapy to learn coping mechanisms. Teach them mindfulness in school. And yeah, these things help a lot of people.

But rates of mental illness continue to climb, despite millions poured into funding for research about different kinds of therapy, despite the continuous development of new psychiatric medications. And I think it’s because most mental health clinicians do not see that there are societal roots of mental illness or even actively work to suppress the idea that mental illness is anything but a biological dysfunction of the patient’s brain.

As I said above, today’s mental health practitioners know that stress negatively impacts mental health functioning and reducing stress improves the symptoms of mental illness in many people. But they are completely focused on addressing patients’ stress on only the individual level. They completely disregard the stress people experience that stems from simply living in our oppressive hellscape world. Fuck, not just stress, it’s trauma. Period. Poverty is traumatic. Racism is traumatic. Misogyny is traumatic. Ableism is traumatic. Oppression. Is Traumatic. And this trauma is dramatically impacting people’s mental health.

No wonder the incidence of mental illness is increasing worldwide. Our society is traumatizing people on a massive scale, constantly, and it’s inescapable.

Teaching everyone mindfulness is not the solution. Mindfulness can help manage the symptoms of trauma, but how effective can that be long term when the trauma is ongoing, constant, and inescapable? You can’t expect people to meditate their way out of being harmed by their oppression. We need to stop the trauma, not expect people to just learn to cope with indefinite, undending trauma.

#long post #mental health #trauma #mindfulness #psychology #psychiatry

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wishful-seeker · 9 months

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Hi! Really like you "Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist" post but is it possible to make plain text version?

Am not sure what the color text says

(Plain text just means regular size + no color text + not cap lock)

Of course! Here ya go:

Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist:

1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.

Example:

Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."

Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"

This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.

Example:

Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."

Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"

This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.

Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.

To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.

2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.

Example:

Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"

Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."

Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making you uncomfortable?

3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.

Example:

Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."

Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."

This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.

4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.

For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.

5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.

6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.

Example:

Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"

Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"

Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.

7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.

Example:

Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."

Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"

This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.

Hope this helps, stay punk.

Is this okay?

#cripple punk #disability #disabled #answered

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getyourblisson · 2 months

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A Look At April 2024

April continues to encourage us to find ways to work together as a team. This is not a time where we will fully want to work on our own. In codes, team means to observe and to know what is yours to handle and what is other people’s work to handle. It is about creating victories and learning how to trust ourselves and others by working through true wisdom and caring about one another. In true teams, there is no hierarchy. No one is better or worse than another.

A true team focus on more than just creating a particular outcome. Consider how life shows us over and over again, that our greatest victories are in the experiences we have and the personal breakthroughs that we get; and it is not in some reward or recognition. The latter is only an add on to the true victory. As I have worked hard to heal my body over recent years and to regain movement that I was told would probably never get restored, I had to create a team of people to help me do that. Even if I was the one doing all of the action, I couldn’t have done it without the knowledge of those that showed me the exercises that would be most beneficial to me (which I am constantly learning new options and movement), or the people that helped me out on the rough days that I couldn’t barely move, or the people that provided emotional and moral support when I was frustrated and having to face that I might not be able to restore movement.

You see each person has skills, a role, a purpose. They each have brought about the victories that I have gotten. No one person was going to bring about full victories. Each one was equally important in the process. It is because of each person, that I am walking and doing the things that I am doing. Also, I shared the wisdom with each person I worked with; which strengthened their own skills and helped them to make additional connections that would then help others even more.

A real team will show us the things that we need to see. They get us to really look at things and observe them. There is no competing with each other or worrying about anyone stealing another person’s ideas. This is because each person has a valuable contribution to make that is different from other people’s contribution.

No matter how self-sufficient we are in life, teams are very valuable; and they help us to create beyond our own personal scope of things. I have become very self-sufficient; but it is the people working as a team with me, that allows me to tour and to allow this work to get into the hands of people. Some provide a space, some provide lodging, some promotion, some encouragement, some a meal, and so on. No one is trying to infringe on others. They each have their role; and likewise, I am able to offer up my wisdom and present and give them something as well. We each are learning from each other what the other needs; and that allows us to become stronger with each time we work on something.

This month continues to call us to honor our health and well-being. Just as we have a strong need to work with others at this time, it is important that we give ourselves balance and honor some time alone. Our bodies continue to be vulnerable and more susceptible to things. We may see viruses or diseases become more evident. It doesn’t help that it falls right in the shift of seasons when allergies are naturally triggered by pollens and the changing temps.

It is important to honor plenty of rest since our bodies need that time to restore. Consider all the key nutrients; A, C, E, D3, EFA’s, complete proteins, antioxidants, prebiotics and probiotics. However, we also want to consider things like Elderberry; especially if we haven’t built up our allergy support prior to now. In addition, we want to focus on those foods that support and nourish the liver and kidneys so that we can support the body in detoxifying things easily and clearing things that could lead to illness if allowed to reside in the body.

Sometimes, people forget the importance of just taking time to step away from electronics, get into nature, or even to be still and simply process thoughts and feelings that we often ignore or push aside. EMF’s which come from our electronics, being in crowded areas, stores, and businesses can really breakdown the body’s ability to stay healthy, the mind’s ability to think clearly, and increase emotions connected to pain, suffering, and a lack of fulfillment. Nature naturally clears these things. Fresh air increases our oxygen. Society constantly pushes us to minimize our self-care; and often times even makes us feel guilty for what little we do for ourselves. A wise person knows that this self-care is one of the best things we can do in life. It is a primary responsibility and obligation that we have and a foundation to doing anything else in life. At this time, our health must be made an even bigger priority than normal.

I welcome you to understand what a gift it is to be part of a true team. What if some of our greatest victories in life come from being part of a team?

I welcome you to consider what a powerful learning experience a team can be for you. What if your teams in life can get you to see what you need to see; and help you to really look at things and observe them?

I welcome you to understand how teams help you to create beyond your own personal scope of things; no matter how self-sufficient you are. What if teams allow you to bring forth your own work and skills so that they can be used?

I welcome you to take time to balance time with others, with personal time to care for yourself. What if your body needs proper attention to stay healthy and support you in what you are doing?

I welcome you to consider how nature naturally clears many illnesses. What if nature literally can repair much of the damage our bodies endure on a daily basis?

I welcome you to consider how society constantly pushes people to minimize self-care, and makes you feel guilty for it. What if this puts you in spirals of illness, reduces mental capacity, and breaks the Spirit? What if the only ones that benefit from this are big pharma and those that want to control you and rule over your life?

From April 1st through April 19th, we are called to consider and know what our true responsibilities and obligations are. Right now, we realize that is to our own self and well-being. This reinforces to us to take care of what needs to get done and to also place ourselves as a priority. Since tasks can be accomplished with greater ease, it is worth taking some big things off of our plate; but then balancing that with personal care. We want to listen to what our body is telling us and honor where it is at. However, don’t use it as an excuse to get out of things and dump things on others.

It is likely that people will be feeling some rebellion energy, and we will want to be careful of this. Most likely, they will be triggered by things that are not just or fair. It is important that we stand up for what is right; however, we want to do this from a position of strength, and when we are in a reaction we are not standing in our strength. We want to step away from things, so that we can diffuse the reaction and allow ourselves to come into clear thinking. From there, we will unfold what actions that we can take and see what paths will help us to show the facts and present them in a way that they can be accepted and have a positive impact while dispelling the lies and agendas.

Health issues are magnified during this time. We are likely to see many people ill. It is not the time to take chances with our health. A day off of work can cost much less than being sick for a long period of time. People may try to push themselves, believing that they cannot afford to take time off due to money being so tight. This can actually be a good time to consider how detrimental our lifestyle is. Too often people hang onto something unfavorable for them, even when it is not providing much for them. This can be a good time to consider how to shift into things that are in greater alignment with the Soul’s Path. Some may be thrust into doing this, as a result of being cast out of current situations.

There are victories to be had during this time. Health issues or caring more for our health can be the catalyst to overcoming addictions and addictive patterns. This is a time where our choices impact every existence that we are connected to. The wiser our choices, the more ways that we can benefit; and the more positive energy that we will ripple into other existences. It will be wise for us to separate wants from needs and to consider how we can simplify our life in order to bring more joy, happiness, and experiences into it. This is all about balancing the work/life continuum and stepping out of those situations that suffocate our freedom and keep us from connecting to things of true value. It is about realizing that we do not need to be entertained when we are taking the time to see the magnificence of the world that we live in.

I welcome you to balance accomplishments with personal care. What if this is about honoring where your body is at; without using it as an excuse not to do things?

I welcome you to take time to diffuse reactions and to come into clear thinking. What if we cannot be in our strength or make a positive impact when we are in reaction?

I welcome you to honor what your body needs, even if you think that you can’t afford it. What if ignoring your body’s needs, create bigger and more costly issues to deal with?

I welcome you to break out of addictive patterns; especially if they are connected to materialism. What if your choices have a much bigger impact than giving in to a temptation; and those choices will impact all existences that you are a part of?

From April 20th through the end of the month, we see that rebellion energy continues on at this time. Others are likely to even double up on trying to trigger us and attack us for wanting the truth to be known. The answer is not to back down, or to do battle. The answer is taking action to find the appropriate ways to bring forth the truth and to keep it alive. Reactions put us in a weak space; while action allows us to make forward progression.

We are called to find ways to create balance and harmony. In some ways, we may find ourselves with people that are very different from ourselves. Use this as an opportunity to diffuse extremes that may be present. When we can have open and honest discourse with those that are different from ourselves, we will often unfold solutions of great value. It is in doing this, that we can make some strong accomplishments. It is a time where we can make progress with our own ideas and plans.

Power battles are likely to be strong during this time, especially between those that have a lot of influence and power in the world. Dictators and Authoritarians will try to remove rights and freedom from people, as they try to seek total control over others. However, their extreme actions may lead their internal circle to turn on them and people to find ways to do without them. This is a great time to be in observation and to realize that neither side may be choosing wisely; because they are too busy worrying about what the other side is doing. Stay out of other people’s battles. The less you interfere or get involved, the sooner things will be resolved. We do best to simply stay in command of our own life, and to not turn our power over to others.

This is a time, where we may be undergoing major shifts and transformations. Our hardships, illnesses, exhaustion, financial challenges, and being cast out by others can be a catalyst for Spiritual Awakenings. Remember, our hardships are always trying to get us to see things and to make changes. This time particularly calls for us to shift from things rooted in materialism and corruption and that are unhealthy for us; into things that are aligned with the Soul’s Path, integrity, and that support our health and well-being. It is a call for us to really reflect on our life and to use our hardships as an opportunity to make powerful changes.

I welcome you to understand how reactions put you at a disadvantage. What if using them to motivate you into action allows you to make forward progression?

I welcome you to find ways to create balance and harmony. What if differences can help you to find solutions of great value and to make some strong accomplishments?

I welcome you to create greater self-sufficiency from people and situations that remove your rights and freedom. What if this allows you to stand strong in situations where neither side is right; and helps to keep you out of battles with others?

I welcome you to embrace opportunities for Spiritual Awakenings to arise out of hardships and challenges. What if your hardships are trying to help you see things and encouraging you to make changes?

In Summary, work with others as a team. Embrace the learning experiences that teams provide. Balance time with others with personal care and taking care of your own health. Indulge in nature’s healing energy. Never feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Know what your true responsibilities and obligations are. Respond but don’t react to those situations that trigger you.

Don’t push yourself too hard. Take a careful look at the choices you are making, and choose things of true value. Find appropriate ways to bring forth the truth. Find ways to create balance and harmony. Stay in observation and realize that neither side may be choosing wisely. Allow your hardships to be an opportunity to make powerful changes.

What To Focus Our Actions On

This month shows that we are likely to get some hard lessons. Power battles get nastier than normal as inferiority/superiority rises. Those in control are likely to misuse their power if they are wanting to control others. They become more abusive and seek out ways to victimize people. One of these ways is to breakup friendships and pit them against each other. Many will betray those that they actually care about; simply because they don’t have the strength to stand up to the corruption. They don’t see another way. On the positive side, all actions that are not in Divine Alignment, will become stagnant and cannot progress. We will have to choose if we will remain in abusive situations and thus support them, or if we will leave them and move into work that allows us to be in Divine Service.

Competition energy is strong; especially where there are strong insecurities. We will find out just how strong our relationships are, since there are likely to be those that want to compete for the love and attention of those that are already committed to someone else. Those that truly love and care about us will always have our back; and will hold us strong in being compassionate with others. They encourage us to take command over our own life; and support us in being self-sufficient, so that we can be free of the abuses from those that are not working in integrity.

I welcome you to realize that it is not just the abuser that is the issue; but also, the people and companies or situations that allow or even support them in that behavior. What if situations that are bigger than a single individual, are situations that we need to step away from?

I welcome you to appreciate any strong relationships that you have. What if these are the people that support you in self-sufficiency and help you to be free of the abuses of others?

From April 1st and April 27th through the end of the month, we are likely to find drama and upheaval. Right now, a lot of that will come as the result of miscommunication. It is through this, that people may be persuaded to do things that they wouldn’t otherwise. They misunderstand what others are saying, and then find themselves in dangerous situations that they don’t want to be a part of. It is important that we make certain that things both feel right and are practical to do. We want to clarify things with others to avoid creating bigger issues for ourselves. We are best to avoid contracts and major decisions. We need to listen to and draw on the intuitive and creative minds before taking action on things.

People are likely to have an adventurous spirit, or be feeling completely lazy. This can be a great time for trying new things, or taking a Serendipity Trip. We can just let ourselves be guided to see where we end up. However, we want to make certain that we have prepared for a variety of conditions, don’t take chances with weather, stay near safety, and have plenty of fuel in the car. It may take some effort to stay focused on what we are doing, and to not let the mind drift off when we need to pay attention to what we are doing. On the other hand, there will be those that will be perfectly content basking in the sun and letting their mind drift into pleasant daydreams. They may prefer to simply enjoy the company of good friends and exploring the magnificence of just being in the moment and seeing the depth of simple things.

From April 2nd through April 26th, we are encouraged to release any material world addictions that we have. This is a time that supports us finding more success on our own, and letting go of things that we don’t really need. It is a time that calls us to simplify things, and to consider how we can change things in our life to create more freedom and to allow us to have more experiences in life. We are being called to choose things of true value and worth which will support Divine Alignment and the Soul Self. If we choose this, we are likely to see some beautiful victories and unfold true happiness for ourselves.

Lies, deception, and manipulation are strong. Those that want to suffocate our freedom are rooted in material things. They do not understand true abundance in the world. They seek material things and extravagance, which keeps them from acting in responsible ways. There is a tendency for those in this space to be lazy and to dump their workload on others. It is important that we use this energy towards handling the things that need to get done. We are called to realize that no matter how much we have in life, that real abundance has nothing to do with possessions and resources. It is a call for us to stand in truth and integrity, even if we are standing alone. If we do this, we will be blessed with things of real value and have successes that others will not know.

I welcome you to simplify and let go of things that you don’t really need or use. What if this creates more freedom for you, and supports you in experiencing life more?

I welcome you to realize that real abundance has nothing to do with possessions and resources. What if the richest people have very little; and those that have a lot rarely have things of any real value?

Connecting To Our Soul Self

From April 1st through April 5th, we are favored for focusing on those things that support peace and unconditional love. It is a time, where people have a stronger connection with the heart’s energy. Love is more practical at this time. It may not be shown through grand gestures; but instead, is shown through taking care of things that need to be done. Love is not just about being in a relationship with someone, but about doing things that touch their heart and bring peace to their life. It is about washing the dishes, cleaning the house, or fixing a meal. It is maintaining the car so it is safe, mowing the lawn, and making necessary repairs around the house. There are so many ways to show our love; and it is important that we take the time to really see how people in our life are showing us love through everyday things.

Aspects of the past may surface and trigger us. It is important that we consider anything that does trigger us, as something that is unresolved; and thus, may be holding us back from moving forward. Most likely, this is connected to an injustice that we have experienced earlier in life. Consider the value and importance of pouring unconditional love into these triggers. It is time to let these wounds heal. Some things that surface, may be things that we thought were resolved; and yet deeper layers may be surfacing on them. Learn from this pain; because the more you do, the more you will be able to take favorable action which leads you down favorable paths for your future.

I welcome you to consider the many ways that you can show unconditional love. What if people are showing you a lot more love than you realize; even if they are not making grand gestures?

I welcome you to consider that unresolved things in your life will always be a trigger and open wound until you decide to heal it. What if pouring unconditional love into these triggers and wounds allow things to heal and be resolved?

From April 6th through April 29th, we are called to understand what created imbalances in our life and have led us to take extreme views or shut down who we really are. This is a time, that calls us to bring greater balance forward. It is a time for us to realize, that at times we need to present ourselves in certain ways to meet the needs of the situation. However, it is important that we also find options for personal expression as well. Even when we need to make adjustments for the setting or what we need to do; we still want to hold authenticity and our own personal style. We are beautiful and unique individuals; and the more that we can embrace that moving forward, the more that we will love and appreciate the life that we are living.

This is a great time for working with others; as long as we and them are keeping things in integrity. Others may be able to show us how to break away from tyranny and corruption in our lives and the world. We may see the fall or stepping down of leaders; due to people exposing them for who they really are. The best leaders do not rule over us, nor do they need to. Instead, they show us how to take command of our own life and give us the skills and opportunities to take care of ourselves. They do not seek to control our lives; but help us to make our dreams come true.

I welcome you to realize that even when situations require us to be a certain way; that personal expression is still needed. What if you can do what you need to do, while remaining true to your own style and authenticity?

I welcome you to realize that strong leaders do not rule over you, nor do they need to. What if they will teach you how to take command over your own life and give you the skills and opportunities to take care of yourself?

On April 30th, the codes call us to bring a close to those things that no longer serve us. It is a time of endings, transformation and death; both literally and figuratively. Beautiful futures are waiting for us to step into them. However, we cannot receive them until we bring closure to what belongs in the past and learn from what they taught us. In some cases, something that we thought was lost may resurface today; and this can be a thing, person, or opportunity. Whatever this is, it may be the inspiration or hope that is needed to help us choose wisely and to see what will be important not only now but in the future.

This is a powerful time of learning. Right now, most of that learning is connected to cycles and the way that life is always full of endings and beginnings. It calls us to consider what we will re-birth into and to learn how to make our own ideas and plans successful. It encourages us to call on mentors where we feel like giving up; in order to take in the strength that we need to breakthrough. We are asked to help others through their shifts as well. At this time, we want to give love to what is ending and appreciate what it has given us; and then to embrace new opportunities and see the possibilities that they are offering us. Each closure in our life is like the ending of a chapter. It has a powerful impact from the journey we have taken with it; and will leave us with a curiosity to embrace our next journey and the potential that it too has to transform our life.

I welcome you to bring a close to those things that no longer serve you. What if there is a beautiful future waiting for you?

I welcome you to learn from the cycles in your life. What if this gives you the strength to breakthrough into your next journey; which has the potential to transform your life in amazing ways?

The Code Journey ~ 2024 Edition

#consciousness #spirituality #compassion #jesse an nichols george #the code journey #practical spirituality #conscious living #wholeness #success #love #insights #self awareness #awareness #April 2024

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stevensaus · 6 months

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Loneliness Isn't Gen Z's Fault And Won't Be Solved By Returning To The Office

It's become quite the trend to talk about "loneliness," with even the US Surgeon General weighing in. There's a real reason for that -- it's a real problem that has real effects on both individuals and the companies they work for. But there are two troubling trends in the discussion about loneliness: blaming the victims and self-serving actions peddled as "solutions". The first is blaming the victims with implications that younger workers are somehow "weak" and their discontent being something inherent to them. We've seen this particular trick before; late Gen X got blamed for the participation trophies our parents demanded we be awarded, then Millennials inherited that plus a whole new bunch of awful stereotypes, and it's only gotten worse as we get to younger generations. As research shows how bad our collective mental health has become, Gen Z has been hit extremely hard. And yet we act as if that isn't a completely rational response. The degree of disassociation needed to not acknowledge the rise of fascist ideologies, the ever-growing climate crisis, ideological fanaticism, water shortages, and horrorshow late-stage capitalism is simply impossible without getting the Mi-Go to put your brain in a jar. So yeah, of course they're depressed, feeling hopeless, alone, and disengaged. I barely cling to my existential absurdism by my fingernails, and I'm fairly likely to miss the worst of what's ahead {1}. I can only imagine how that feels, and how much it obliterates your desire to ... well, do anything, including making friends and being social. It is not that Gen Z is weak, soft, or "less resilient". They are facing decent odds that apocalyptic predictions are already coming to pass due to the actions of wealthy and powerful people who will most likely face no real consequences for the harm they've caused. No amount of handwringing and mandatory fun "engagement" or "return to work" policy is going to change that. Which brings me to the second disturbing trend. Too often, the idea that just simply shoving people into physical proximity is an answer to loneliness -- and it is not. Aside from the inherent ableism in mandatory return-to-office policies, a Nov. 8 report from Perceptyx, an employee listening and manager effectiveness platform, found that "simply returning to the office and being around others won’t solve the loneliness issue" and that mandatory face-to-face time -- like meetings -- actually increase feelings of loneliness. “It sounds counterintuitive, but it’s actually not surprising. Many organizations have replaced organic interactions with overscheduled time, particularly for remote and hybrid employees,” Emily Killham, senior director of people analytics, research and insights at Perceptyx, said in a statement. “But employees tell us that it’s not having the desired effect. Simply being in a meeting with others doesn’t create connection or relationships,” she said. “In fact, spending most of the time in meetings is not good for the overall employee experience, which can bring out feelings of disconnection and loneliness.” --HR Dive So why does return-to-office still get touted by business leaders whenever "loneliness" is mentioned? It's not hard to imagine: return-to-office is easy, doesn't require the company to spend extra money (and uses the buildings they've already paid for), and means they aren't risking their investments in the looming corporate real estate bubble, as well as satisfying whatever control issues managers might have. We all deserve better. We deserve to have the mental toll of our societal greed acknowledged -- and addressed. We deserve to have real solutions, instead of self-serving policies slathered in with buzzwords. We deserve better. {1} I turn 50 this year, am overweight, and smoked a lot of my life. I'd like to be wrong; maybe people die just 'cause everyone else is doing it. Featured Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay Read the full article

#employment #loneliness #mentalhealth #work

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lightadarttomendyourheart · 1 year

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i've decided to take a break from it all. i've realized ive been so consumed by all the chats and planning the weekender and london and everything. texting brandon. i really like to busying myself with planning i think. but anyways, it's gotten too much. i feel like no one (minus a few) really appreciates and respects all the work and hours i put in to everything. and of course its not only me, but i really take the responsibility and the weight on my shoulders of planning all these things. it's an emotional burden. i make so many tabs and docs and resources for everyone to have all the information needed at their fingertips. and then what do they do? don't even fucking use it. they ask the same questions over and over again. when literally, what am i doing? googling it and answering them. why the fuck can't THEY google it and get their answers instead of asking other people. am i a fucking personal travel agent?

and i know i should just not engage. i should just take a deep breath and not reply. wait for someone else to take on the burden. but i can't. i physically and mentally fucking cant. maybe that's my character flaw. and the thing is, someone else WILL answer, and IT WONT BE CORRECT. and then days later someone will finally do the research or someone will tell them or whatever, and THEN they'll find out the actual, true information, when instead i can just quickly reply immediately and give them the exact correct information. but at what cost. honestly, at what fucking cost to my mental health.

i know they don't NEED me to plan shit, people have done trips without me i know i'm not fucking god and know everything. but i have all the info. literally. i remember everything from my initial research. from countless conversations we've had where we've decided this or that. where we've found out this or that. why can't they remember? do they even try to remember? i don't think they do. they just want someone else to do all the heavy lifting and reap the rewards. just tag along for the ride and do nothing. it's too much. i can't fucking handle it right now.

and i do handle it most of the time. and most of the time, it's fine. and with certain people, i get it. but seriously a simple fucking question. they look for it. and they can't find the answer. then i take 2 minutes out of my day and find the answer right away. like???? I DONT GET IT.

i seriously don't get it. it boggles me. why do they have to make my life so hard? i know they don't even realize it. i know it's not personal. but fuck it feels like it. why do you think i spend so much time getting us so organized. so i don't forget and so EVERYONE ELSE CAN BE A PART OF THE PLANNING AND FUCKING KNOW EVERYTHING AND NOT ASK ME THE SAME THING 5 TIMES.

like this is the which trip we're all doing together. like the 6th? 7th? this is not our first rodeo!!!!

i know this has something to do with indy too. how many fucking times did i tell him, this isn't a good idea. i'm going to hurt you. this will fuck up our friendship. yet, he didn't fucking listen to me. and i fucking hate that i can't talk to anyone but maya about it.

and honestly, after that talk we had on saturday night, literally fighting about the same fucking shit we always fight about. and then he makes that fucking rude ass comment about forcing me to go to qrion. like, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?!??!?! after i literally yelled at him for trying to force me to drink. after i fucking told him it made it feel like he was giving me no other option than to kiss him that one night to finally fucking shut him up. he fucking pulls this shit with me again. and it feels even fucking worse than before. it feels so personal. and it feels like he didn't hear anything i fucking said. like all of my feelings and personal views and WANTS mean fucking NOTHING to him. it's so fucking disrespectful. it makes me feel like what i want means absolutely nothing. and honestly, idfk what the fuck his intentions are, because at this point, they can't be good. how can someone explain that with a good outcome at heart. in my opinion, they can't. i really don't get it. what have i done. what did i fucking do to deserve to be so disrespected by my family. when i have fought so fucking hard for him. i've stood up for him SO many fucking times behind closed doors, when he's not even LISTENING or not even IN THE CHAT. i've been his biggest advocate because i fucking care about him and know him and i can't stand people shit talking him when i know he's trying to be good, that he's changing. but guess what, i guess he's fucking not. literally this whole week has proven to me he hasn't changed in the slightest. and with me. what a fucking stab in the back. when all i try to do is fight for him. he can't fucking give me the respect and decency i deserve. fuck him. seriously. i'm so fucking mad at him. and its not like i didn't tell him. it's not like i've secretly been bottling all of this up. he just doesn't fucking LISTEN. it's always all about him. well, what about me. what about my feelings. what about what's good for me????

and honestly, i'm at a point i feel like i've been chasing brandon this entire time and i'm over it. i'm just at full quit capacity right now. i'm quitting everything. not actually, but emotionally, yeah. right now, for the time being, i fucking quit. i quit the group chats. i quit planning. and i'm quitting brandon. if he wants to fucking talk to me, HE can fucking talk to me. i told him of course i'm taking a whatsapp break and to text me anywhere else. nothing bad against him, all about the groups etc. cause it's maybe 5-10% about him (but more so my emotions). i didn't just ghost and stop replying cause he didn't do anything wrong. but i'm curious when and if he will. i wanna say im sure he'll text or snap me something in the next few days. but who the fuck knows.

i really hate how much this all affects me. i wish it didn't. but alas. here we are.

idk how long i'll last. but honestly, since deleting whatsapp after work. i already feel so much better. i feel free. i hope i can last a week at least. maybe before sarah and i go to vic i'll redownload it. but then again, why do i want to stint my progress right before a nice relaxing weekend with my best friends.

we'll see what happens.

#personal

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invisibleletterstoafriend · 2 years

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My friend,

I write to you today with a heavy and conflicted heart. I’m not entirely sure if I’ll find some kind of resolution from writing this letter, yet writing this down and knowing it might have gotten somewhere makes me feel somewhat better. And I think I just need to clear my head before I fall into a bit of a spiral. There’s been a question that has been on my mind recently and after this morning, I find it replaying in my head over and over.

How do we protect the ones we love from what we cannot control?

I know the immediate answer is that we can’t. That’s the whole point, that there are things in life that are outside our realm of influence. But I was in the middle of class when I got a call from my mom saying my sister was in one of the school bathrooms, having a panic attack. I took my boyfriend with me and went to see her and God, she was in a bad way. She and I, whether it’s from our less than happy upbringing, have struggled with our mental health for years. I know I’ve struggled with panic attacks, destructive coping mechanisms and intrusive thoughts since I was still in primary school. I noticed my sister’s mental health declining since she was around 12 years old. The issues we both have run deeper than anyone in our lives know. And it terrified me to send her to the bus station with my boyfriend, just to get on a bus by herself and get picked up 45 minutes later. The idea of that she might lose concentration while in such a busy environment or even worse ran rampant in my mind. If I didn’t have her location on my phone, I would have broken down.

It’s a tough question to answer. As much as I wish it were the case, I can’t just pull the sadness out of her. Yes, I can sit in a bathroom stall with her and make her laugh a little. Yes, I can bring my partner, one of her close friends, with me so she knows that he’s there for her. But that’s all damage control. How do I actually stop the damage from being dealt at all? Maybe it’s the protective older sibling in me that feels like this is even possible. Is it? Is there something I’m missing? I’ve always felt like I could be doing more for the people I care about, especially when it comes to her. All I know is that I have to to try, I have to reflect more on this. Otherwise, I’m scared that things will only get worse from here. I’ve just turned 18 yesterday, meaning I’m going to have to find a way to move out soon. I’m going to have to take her in at some point, too. There’s a lot to figure out and the pressure to do so is only increasing.

That was a very heavy letter, I apologise. f you’ve made it this far, I am so incredibly thankful to you for listening. I want these letters to be uplifting but it’s hard to be that way when you’re hurting so much. I’ll keep you updated with whatever happens but I also want to hear from you, if you’d like. I hope you’re taking care of yourself and surrounding yourself with people that make you happy. I hope that you and your loved ones are safe, healthy and doing the best you can in times like these. I’ve found myself saying it’s been a tough year for the last 3 years now haha. But I know that there are moments of joy to be found through it all. My only hope is that those moments become easier to find for you.

Keep going, friend. I have faith that everything will be as it is meant to be.

- Your friend.

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ptergwen · 3 years

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favorite crime

w/c: 1.6k

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood / death, lots n lots of angst

summary: you convince peter to go on the run after he’s framed for murdering mysterio, but he doesn’t want to drag you into his mess

a/n: this was completely based off the song by olivia lfmbsjfhs it’s so beautiful and i’ve wanted to write something for it for a while now so yee i hope y’all like ! pls lmk what you think <3

“we have to get you out of here, peter! come on!” you shout back to your boyfriend and tug his hand that’s laced with yours.

peter doesn’t budge. even when your grip on him tightens, when you pull him forward with all your might, he remains stoic.

there’s something he needs to do, and he’s been contemplating it since the day he met you.

it’s time to let you go.

“please, peter. i’m begging. i know you’re tired of running, but if we don’t leave now… they’ll find you,” you desperately choke out. peter squeezes his eyes shut, dreading what’s to come. “i can’t do this to you anymore, y/n. i… i’m sorry.”

emergency sirens and flashing lights approach the old apartment building serving as yours and peter’s latest hideout. the whole world is on the lookout for him, so you two stowed yourselves away in brooklyn for a bit.

you were hopeful the rumors would pass eventually — about how peter shot the beloved mysterio and left him to die in cold blood. they’re merely talk, of course. you’d personally seen the events of that day unfold on the tower bridge. hell, your class was right at the center of them.

quentin beck was pure evil, so rotten he defamed both peter and spider-man with a charge as cruel as murder. he’s wreaking havoc on him from beyond the grave, over a complete misunderstanding that peter had nothing to do with.

beck’s true source of anger is stark industries. yet, once again, peter ended up the collateral damage.

he was deemed a wanted murderer. posters revealing his name and face were plastered up around the city, a reward even being offered to whoever who turns him in.

you’d proposed the idea of skipping town until things settled. the way you saw it, it was peter’s only option other than prison for twenty-five to life. peter was panicking and couldn’t think straight, so he went along with your getaway plan.

a few weeks later, he’s regretting it.

you’ve been the one person he could trust through this madness. you’re right there to console him, to protect him just like he does you. through sickness and health, life and clearly death, you stick by peter’s side. you left everything behind without a second thought, for him.

peter loves you more than you’ll ever fully be able to comprehend, which is why he can’t ask you to do that. this is his battle to fight, not yours or anyone else’s. his.

you suddenly freeze in your tracks, turning around to look at peter. “what are you talking about? you’re fine, pete.”

his eyes roam everywhere except to yours as they water. blinking back tears, he fixes his gaze on your intertwined hands. you notice a stray tear fall down his cheek and use one of your thumbs to wipe it away, then press a reassuring kiss to his lips. peter lets himself reciprocate momentarily before jerking back.

“please just… stop being so nice to me. you’re making this way harder than i wanted to to be,” he rasps and squeezes your hand tighter. you’re still lost, absolutely clueless about what he’s referring to.

“look, pete. i wanna hear you out, baby. but… i think it should wait until we get to jersey.” you keep your voice as calm as possible, though you’re terrified for both of you. since the feds know your location, they’ll have the place surrounded any minute.

hopping cities isn’t cutting it anymore, so you’ll have to change states this time. new jersey is next on your list.

using his strength to his advantage to hold you in place, peter seizes both your shoulders. his bloodshot eyes lock with yours. a stern expression coats his features, one you’ve seen from him yet never been on the receiving end of.

“we’re not going to jersey, y/n/n,” he declares, the sirens starting to grow louder. you feel a pit forming in your stomach. “we have to!” you immediately protest. “it’s not gonna be easy finding our way, but it’s the last-“

peter cuts you off, voice softer now. “no, no. that’s not what i meant.” he waits a beat and inhales a deep breath, aiming to settle his nerves. it doesn’t.

“i’m going to jersey. you’re staying.”

tears cloud your vision the second those words leave his mouth. you shake your head furiously back and forth, willing him to take them back.

part of you was always afraid peter would get second thoughts. not only about running away with you, about ever being with you. you’re both so young. your entire lives are ahead of you, and peter won’t allow you to risk your own because this isn’t worth a single bit of it.

he’d warned you how dangerous it was to be associated with spider-man. it’s why he held off on telling you about his alias for the longest he could. you naturally began asking questions whenever peter bailed on dates and showed up to school covered in bruises. he hated lying to you, using his stark internship as an excuse, so he finally came out and said it.

peter sometimes wonders if you’d be better off not knowing at all. it’s too late now, though.

“wait, what? why- why can’t i go with you?” you plead, peter’s fingers coming up to cup your cheek. his fingertips lightly caress your skin. “i’m a criminal, y/n. you’d be my accessory.”

it takes everything in him not to break down and sob along with you.

you lean into his palm, already missing his touch. “i don’t care... i don’t give a fuck. i just wanna be with you, peter.” peter literally has to bite his tongue to fight the urge to cry. hands grabbing either side of his head, your fingers twist in his hair roughly. “i’ll do anything, pete. i really will, i swear. name it.”

peter threads his own fingers through yours again, bringing your hands to his chest.

“i’m so sorry, angel. i never should’ve gotten you involved,” he murmurs out and pecks your forehead. “you have nothing to prove to me, okay? you’ve done more than enough. i’m gonna return the favor.”

you let out a strangled whine, your knees buckling as you come to terms with the gravity of your situation.

this is it. this is the end of yours and peter’s story.

“hey, none of that. it’s okay,” peter coos, neither of you convinced. the tastes of salt and metal flood both your senses. he helps you back up and hugs your waist, peppering your cheeks in more kisses. you’re bawling now, arms wound around his neck, clutching at his tattered jacket.

free tears escape peter’s eyes at last. “i love you. i love you so goddamn much, y/n. never forget it,” he nearly whispers. you sniffle and push your forehead against his. “i’m not saying it back ‘cuz that feels like a goodbye, and i- i can’t say goodbye to you yet.”

“it’s not a goodbye,” peter reassures you, rubbing circles on your lower back. “it’s, uh, it’s a see you later. i’m gonna figure something out and be back to you before you know it. can’t get rid of me that easy.”

that earns a faint giggle from you, peter managing a grin. you two attempt to ignore everything happening beyond these walls, only focusing on the other.

“then, um…” you clear your throat. “i love you.” his smile dwindling slightly, peter nods and meets your gaze. “i love you too, baby. you should probably get going soon.”

affirming his advice, a booming voice that sounds from a microphone commands peter to come out with his hands up.

your worry spikes, instinctively drawing peter in closer. he forces himself to put on a brave face for you.

“i’m scared, pete. where… where am i supposed to go?” you rush to ask him. “home, y/n/n. go home,” peter decides, pressing a final kiss to the top of your head. “just don’t get caught, and you’ll be fine.” carding your fingers in his undone curls, you sigh. “easier said than done, but i’ll try not to.”

you’d never pictured that the sweet boy with a heart too big and brain even bigger, who sings you to sleep even though his voice sucks and spends his last dollar buying you flowers, would be accused of first degree murder. it isn’t true or fucking fair.

what’s worse, he has to bare this storm alone now.

you lift your heavy backpack off the cold ground, slinging it onto your shoulders. peter stares out the window and down at the assembly of swarm troops crowded together.

“are you gonna be okay?” you catch his attention. he snaps back into reality, pulling your hood up so it covers your head. you’re wearing a sweatshirt of his, after having gone through all your own clothes. “i hope so. are you?” peter repeats your question. “i hope so,” you echo.

tying your hoodie strings tight, peter offers a smile. “say hi to may for me. ned and mj, too.” it’s going to be tough to face his family and friends after this. “i will. i’ll let them know you’re alright.” you kiss his cheek, placing a hand on his chest. peter lets your touch distract him from the mess he’s about to be hit with.

“thank you, y/n. i’ll see you soon, baby. you have my word,” he promises, stepping back so you two can go your separate ways.

you watch him with fresh tears threatening to spill.

“i’m gonna hold you to it. be safe, spidey.”

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