#/ the big sad as u kno

[dirtflunk]

Dios Mio! A Liberal!

[jakowskis]

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[inun4ki]

"I can see you struggling. Take your time. I'm listening." //Yanna

for muses who can't open up

They'd been sitting on a park bench for what'd felt like hours - talking, as if anything Kaede'd had to say had mattered. Maybe it was merely Yanna's nature to listen, to participate, to sit beside him and know something was wrong - she was good like that, maybe better than he deserved. Makeshift family, the closest thing he had to a grandmother that might've loved him once, found by chance circumstance long after the damage had been done and the dust had settled. There would be no repairing what's broken, burying the truth, ignoring the pain, pretending, hiding, sneaking, lying--

He owed her an explanation, he owed her something. Surely, Yanna could only take so much of his reckless abandon in combat, his incessant and inevitable self-mutilation as necessary and extra curricularly, his occasional blackouts and failing memory, crude and vulgar malcontent, flashbacks, anxiety--

What would she think of him, if he told her...? Would she still fight alongside him? Would she trust him to protect her as she protects him? Or would her opinion of him change, morph from the almost-tender and pleasant into paranoia, judgment, and uncomfortable tension that crackles and burns? Would she think him weak and foolish, clawing at himself to distract himself from his responsibilities and the pain he'd caused? Would she think him a coward...? Fingertips nervously tugged through long violet strands, catching on too many tangles at a time - he yanked his fingers through. Again, and again, silently drifting further and further into the agonizing cess pool poisoning his mind. He didn't want her to point all the same fingers at him as Kurai - he didn't want her to think he'd have been better off dead, too, that everything would be fine and everyone would still be alive if he'd never taken his first breath. He didn't want her to see his shame, his inaction, his cowardice. He didn't want her as the frightened and inept child he really was. He couldn't bear it. The idea of it alone caused his chest to tighten, his throat to sorely close, his body already screaming in its preparation to run.

But he owed her. He owed her something.

Gnawing on his lower lip, head bowed, gaze affixed to dirt and the sparse tuft of grass just beginning to peek through it, he made himself smaller. Shoulders sloped forward, thighs and calves firmly pressed together, spine slouching...with his hair to hide every bit of his face as his toes curled into the dirt. But his breaths caught on the knot in his throat and his teeth chattered, fear sparking into a roaring flame that burned and burned and burned in the pit of his stomach. Ripping the band-aid off and telling her was all he could do, and no matter how kind and gentle to him she'd been, she expected an answer... Why did this have to be so hard? Why couldn't he trust in turn, trust that he might be held with warmth and care and understanding and acceptance and-- Why couldn't he let it go?

He swallowed again, trying his damnedest to maintain any semblance of stoic composure, fingers shifting from his hair to the fabric concealing his wrists and picking at the seams, but he was failing - and he'd no choice anyway.

"T-twenty years ago," he rasped shakily, words like ash in his mouth. "Twenty years ago, there was... a massacre. Over sixty members of my clan were slaughtered and fed upon by curses and I...I watched them. I hid under the dining room table and cried, watching as my cousins were taken one by one and killed by my grandfather. I was stronger than they all were - I didn't know how to wield it, but still, I was stronger than them. I could've-should've done something, but I let them die... My grandfather was also killed, by the time the bloodshed had come to an end. He'd brought those curses into the estate and unleashed them upon us all, and no one knew why - but that was my fault too. He was already showing signs of severe mental instability, but the facilitation of my birth sent him spiraling. I only fanned the flames of his paranoia, the terror he already had that one day, he'd be usurped and any threats to his hold over the family must be dealt with. He planned to use me as a vessel in some desperate vie, to take my strength for his own, and in the midst of enacting this plan, the curses he'd aligned with turned on him and ripped him limb from limb. He left...a journal, outlining his plan in great detail. I found it hidden beneath the estate one night when I'd been punished for covering for Aoi and Terin again, tucked under the straw and floorboards in the cell - where no one else could possibly find it or bother to go looking."

He couldn't stand being vulnerable like this, couldn't stand talking about his family history, being seen, heard, known for even a moment. He wanted to trust her. Wanted to believe this would be okay. It was far too late to back out now. His heart and stomach lurched in tandem, his ears beginning to ring.

Please don't change your mind... Please don't turn your back on me.

His thoughts were beginning to get to him, a childlike urge to crumple and cry washing over him. The longer he dragged this out, the more pathetic and miniscule he felt, the more cowardly and weak. Kurai would've turned him away, and Aoi vowed never to speak to him again after Terin's death... They blamed him for it all, and rightfully so. Had he been able to do something, he could've used their techniques to exorcise the curses quickly and no one would've had to die... Had he not been born, Taisho would've been dealt with sooner. Terin would still be alive. Mom, too...

"I took the journal to my father - everyone deserved to know the truth behind what my grandfather was planning. I thought it would be closure for them, to finally have a real explanation... I even thought the same for myself. I didn't realize, at the time, that I was handing them my own confession. Everything begins with Taisho, but ends with me. I may as well have killed them all myself. I've no right to sit beside you now, when there's so much blood on my hands, because it's not just them I'm responsible for but countless others... People who were simply doing what they needed to in order to survive among curses and killers and the other perils of every day life, working to achieve their dreams no matter how benign or totally fucked-- I'm just as guilty. I fight to redeem myself, but I can't wash away the stains. Yet, even-even so... I don't want you to think of me as any lesser. I don't want you to see me as the sort of person who would condemn his family to death through inaction and cowardice."

[yeahtimesten]

18+, mdni / maybe modern!au or 2019!patrick if you want tbh idk but smartphones r involved

you and your friends are out barhopping on the city strip, you’ve already hit three different places and you’re ordering at least two drinks per place. you and the three other girls you go out with are rowdy and obnoxious at this point, definitely wasted. and your shared ‘locker room talk’ with the besties is something so perverted, so nasty. but they say drunk words are sober thoughts. and the topic at hand is something probably every woman universally agrees on.

yeah, dick pics are gross and all, but: “nut vids with the sound on,” you’re cackling at your friends proclamation. “those get me freaky. like wet wet.”

“dude, yessss, that’s what i’m sayinggg,” another friend agrees.

and you’re laughing along. but really, you had never received one. you knew the meme, and you saw the appeal, but you had never seen one.

don’t get me wrong, you and patrick are still gettin’ it on over the phone and video chat, doing everything else possible to bridge the gap that distance brought you. being a tennis player on tour, working up to the big leagues, was something you wholeheartedly supported for your boyfriend. to keep morale up, you even sent him a gift box once complete with polaroids, a spicy letter spritzed with your signature perfume, and a pair of worn panties, baby pink and silk with a lacy little trim. you liked to treat him like that.

and he treated you too, with new panties and outfits he wanted to see you in and other miscellaneous gifts, and good dick too whenever he was able to come around and see you. but when you got to thinking, you realized a majority of the gifts he gave you, were really a gift for himself as well. yeah, he’d jerk off to you on video calls, but it wasn’t for you, it’d just be weird if his cam wasn’t on when yours was too.

another round of shots were had before the four of you were making your way to the next bar, the last stop of the night. and you were trailing behind your three friends, typing on your phone to him. partially because you are ovulating, definitely because you were drunk, and you were a tad bit in your head now too thinking about the things patrick could be doing for you, but you were going absolutely feral in his dms.

babyyy wen r u gna see me next :(

i miss uuuu hehehe

need ur hand around my neck while u finger me NEOWWW

and he’s receiving all your texts with fervor. you’re totally exciting him and arousing him. but hes crossfaded (on tour? smh, but he’s celebrating a win as well as the end of this leg of travel) out with other players that he’s met so his replies are just as desperate and sad and pathetic as yours.

soon gorjus

be there b4 u kno it

cant wait for u to take my dick

send pix ?

and when you get to the next bar, you immediately excuse yourself to the bathroom, locking yourself in a stall, posing with your shirt lifted. your perfect tits are exposed to the camera, and because you love and trust your boyfriend, at least half of your face is still in frame too. your lips are slightly pouting, and you know that detail will drive him mad. and you snap another, but this one is an underskirt shot; you standing up in the stall, with your panties pulled down over your mid thighs, also in frame, from behind at the perfect angle to showcase your ass, with a hint of your pretty pussy in frame. and you send both to him in a photo set.

earlier, you sent him more innocently posed but still quite sexy outfit photos and selfies before going out. you did this every time you left the house basically. it was both endearing and such a huge turn on for him, no matter how you were dressed. your outfit was especially scantily clad tonight, so he was already having dirty thoughts of you. he was supportive of what you wore, and was never really controlling, but he wished he were by your side protecting you from other creeps who’d love to sneak a peak. and he had already fantasized about taking you to a dingy bathroom in one of these dive bars you frequented that he saw in the background of your photos, and bending you over the sink and fucking you from behind, both of you watching in the mirror.

both of your data connections were shitty, but he was texting you that he was heading home. he couldn’t wait any longer and needed to get off to you now. and he asked if you were going home any time soon.

another shot, and nursing a midori sour, or whatever your drink of choice is, you and your friends are still chatting and having a wild time, but you’re having flashbacks to the last time you both were together. you remember him boring into your wet cunt, on top of you, in the back of your car at the airport, because you couldn’t bare to part without one last fuck. your thighs squeezed together, trying to dismiss the warm pit forming in your stomach.

you were relieved when one of your friends decided to call it quits, and since your apartment complexes were so close to each other, you decided to share an uber. as you two waited for the ride, you finally received his texts and confirmed you’d be home soon too and that you two could call and take care of each other. and on the ride back, while your friend is talking your ear off, you check your phone again to see a snapchat. patrick sent you a video.

without thinking, you clicked on the notification to see what he sent. and now who would have guessed, that in this moment, you’d see a video he recorded of his cock out, laying in the dark on his bed, his flash was on. his dick glistened with his spit, as he slowly started stroking his shaft and playing with his tip. in a panic, you lock your phone and stuff it back into your purse, face flush with embarrassment.

your friend looks at you with furrowed brows. “you okay?” and you nod, hoping she hadn’t taken a good peak at your screen.

“i’m fine,” you smile. you’re more than fine, you’re seeing stars. and you’re anxious to reach home. after what feels like an eternity, you’re finally there. you skip up the steps and and climbed the flights of stairs until you reach your floor. the anticipation is getting the better of you as you fumble with your keys. but finally, you’re inside and it’s oasis. your place to be horny and out of control.

you flop on your bed and reopen snapchat, 5 more segments of that video waiting for you to open. you turn up your volume to max. in next clip of the video, he’s still taking his time stroking slow and you can hear his breath hitching, yours matching in real time. his breathing is heavy and loud, as little moans and groans escape his lips.

i fucking love you baby, he says in the clip. i’m so fucking hard for you.

and you’re so wet for him, as you reach down and start rubbing circles into your clit above your underwear. the video keeps going, and he picks up the pace, his moans getting louder. you love how he isn’t silent in bed. he’s so vocal and sweet, showing you he’s enjoying it just as much as you are.

the next reel starts, and he is fully jerking off, his breathing getting faster. you know what’s about to come. him. and with one final guttural groan, he does. glistening white cum leaks out gently, and he continues to stroke, much slower, making sure to milk every last drop.

r u home yet baby ?

he texted you.

- ya

and immediately, you have an incoming facetime. you answer and the camera is pointed to just his face, still sitting in the dark.

“hey, princess, how was your night out,” he asked.

“it was good,” you said. “i accidentally opened your snap in front of my friend though.”

“i texted you to wait until you were home to see it,” he laughs at you.

you didn’t receive that text. but you were just stunned he practically read your mind, that you wanted exactly that video.

“i missed you.”

“how much baby?”

“so so much, i couldn’t wait to get home and talk to you,” you pouted.

“me neither,” he whispered. “i’m hard again, baby. wanna see?”

and before you answer, he’s pulled his phone back to angle on his cock, with his abdomen and face still in frame. he’s moving it around, teasing you with its length.

“i miss fucking you so bad. do you miss fucking me?” it’s your turn to tease, and you move your phone down to reveal your panties with a big wet splotch soaked into the fabric.

“you really were thinking of me all night, huh?” he’s starting to stroke himself again, and you do him the favor of bringing the camera back and pulling your shirt off. he’s obsessed with how hard your nipples are, and he moans for you.

“your tits are so perfect,” he breaths out. “touch yourself for me, baby. i wanna see you rub your clit.”

and like it’s a royal command, you pull your panties down, and show him your finger swirling around your wet cunt.

“that’s perfect, you’re perfect,” he says.

you’re watching each other get off and his mind is racing with things he wants to do to you, with you, for you. and he’s sharing about half of them with you.

“i can’t wait to fuck you again. i can take you out to dinner and a movie, and we can sit in the back row by ourselves and mess around.”

“and you can ride me in the passenger seat of your car.”

“i wanna play with your ass so bad and eat you out from the back.”

“finger your pussy for me, sexy. let me see you fuck yourself with your pretty manicured fingers that i paid for. you’re so fucking wet for me.”

and besides his new request, everything is in one ear and out the other. your sole focus is watching him get off so you can get off. and it’s working, the heat in your pelvis growing stronger, you are about to release any second. you can tell he is too, as his breathing is heavier and his words and incoherent and slurred, he sounds tortured. you move back to rubbing your clit.

“are you gonna cum, baby? i’m going to, i want you to cum with me,” he sighs.

“yeah baby, i’m gonna cum. i’m gonna cum patrick!”

your moans harmonize with each other as you both finish together and you both continue to touch yourself as the tension in your groins lessen. you’re still pulsating for moments after.

“i can’t wait to see you any longer, im booking a flight for tomorrow to see you,” he says, still huffing. and you can’t wait either.

[greensagephase]

Just realized how much I love the way you write your Miguel. Like instead of oversexualizing, making him animalistic or just straight up a dick (even tho he kindof is sometimes, let's be honest-)

I just love how you dive in his current trauma (not too long ago his mom got zombified like marvel give bro a break plz), include trust issues and his mental problems, while not breaking his character. You made him stubborn, a little proud, but still show slight vulnerability, and so many unsaid words. Hell, you might be one of the best Miguel writers I've ever seen on here!

I love the slow burn in NC, it makes Miguel seem more like a real person, with unbearable trauma and trust issues, who's main way to 'cope' is "by leading a society of Peter Parkers who can't pay their rent on time" (from the ATSV artbook), and as someone with a mental health too similar to Miguel's I can see myself in him (THAT'S A COMPLIMENT) with a slow build of trust

While I sometimes do enjoy a bit of smut, most of the time, it's too fast. Too quick, like- CALM DOWN LADIES (and gents), I DON'T THINK MIGUEL'S GONNA EAT YOU OUT ON THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN LIKE EMPANADAS

ALSO DID U KNO HE'S BI???

Hiii, Dino!!! Thank you for the ask, pookie!! 🥰 Also, I'm sorry for taking a few days to answer your ask. I took a few days off tumblr due to life :))

But omg, thank you!! I appreciate the kind words so much, and I’m happy that you love NC!Miguel and the slow burn! 🥹 Also, I’m glad you appreciate the acknowledgement of Miguel’s issues, traumas, and mental state within the fic. I’m no expert; no psychologist nor professional writer, but as the story expanded, I decided that I’d like to dive into Miguel’s story a little more, this being a Spider-Man Miguel fic after all, and one that’s attempting to portray Miguel as realistic as possible (or at least the way I see him and think he’d be like), so that entails including his issues, traumas, and mental state, too.

I know this has led to some chapters being a little delicate, overwhelming, and/or sad (and I’m sorry to anyone who has ever felt down or cried reading NC because they resonated with this content, or the emotions got a little too much. This has never been my intention ):), but I believe it’s important to address, especially because his issues, traumas, and mental state overall are big contributors to his behaviour and mindset in ATSV. As I said, I’m no expert, but just from what I learned in college and have learned throughout the years with personal experiences (seen close people dealing with similar issues like those Miguel has faced and is facing), I know healing from such traumas is important to move forward with life. I also know it takes time, which is a big reason why this fic is a slow burn.

I want Miguel to find himself in a healthy and positive mindset, learn to trust others, and know that he is worthy of love and friendships before he finds himself in a romantic relationship. I’ve yapped too much, but I’m glad that you appreciate that, even though these can be sensitive themes/discussions. Thank you! Also, I’m touched that you can see yourself in NC!Miguel and how he slowly begins to allow himself to trust someone. I hope that as the story progresses, you can continue to see yourself in him in a non-harmful way (I never wish to portray mental health negatively nor disrespect/offend someone)! 💖

And hehehe, your comment about the smut and empanadas has me laughing! 🤣 But I hope you can find more fics with a slower pace regarding that aspect though! I know there’s awesome and talented writers who continue to write for Miguel on here that feed my delusions about this man and post very regularly (thank you Miguel writers - ily 🥰), so keep your eyes open and support what you enjoy reading!!

ALSO, yes, but also no?? I saw a tweet a very long time ago of Oscar Isaac apparently saying Miguel was bi, but idk if it’s canon because I haven’t read any of the comics 😞 (all the plot lines within NC that align with the comics have been researched from other sources). Is it confirmed in the comics? :))

Thank you so much for the ask!! I hope you’re having a great day/night, Dino!! Pls take care!! 🫶🏼💖

Alondra❤️

[strawberry-milkbunny]

I have no one to talk to about Tokyo Rev so here r my random hot takes that I need to say:

- Emma and Hina r boring and used as romance plot devices it’s okay to admit that Wakui can’t write women idk I don’t expect shounen/men to be able to write girls well (still cried when Emma died tho bc she didn’t deserve it!!!)

- lol I LOVE Yuzuha and Senju tho

- I actually do like Emma and Draken together but I also firmly believe Draken is in love w/Mikey and was just projecting onto Emma LMAO

- Yuzuha is a lesbian

- Controversial: I don’t think Shinchiro was THAT great of an older brother. Like he was cool but he still introduced Mikey and Izana into the world of gang life/normalizing violence and yeah OG Black Dragons isn’t like that but….what do u expect when u form a gang??? .obviously there’s a high chance that it’s gonna develop into LEGIT gang activity

- As an adult and someone who was basically raised by an older sibling w/a big age gap (my sis is 7 years older) I kinda don’t blame Takeomi for being a bad older brother??? Realistically he’s a 17 yr old in charge of raising 2 toddlers like NO SHIT he did a bad job. At least Shin had his grandfather to help out but Takeomi actually had no one. Doesn’t explain y he’s a brokey LOL buttttt again I don’t FULLY blame him for being a bad sibling still hurt my boi Sanzu 😤😤

- I HC that Mikey is used to having a caretaker (Draken and later Sanzu) bc when Shin died he was so depressed and genuinely couldn’t get out of bed

- Takemitchy is also lowkey boring/typical shounen protagonist and canonically stinky like Hina could do sm better. This is personal preference so I find myself wanting more chaotic/dumb protagonists who are slightly morally ambiguous like Denji, Gintoki, hell even Naruto at times. Takemitchy didn’t get character development until BD arc and that’s just a bit too long for me….

- Koko and Inui r gay and dating 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

- the Haitani brothers r the kardashians of the TR universe they’re so embarrassing Deadass show up and pose/do absolutely nothing I LOVE THEM SHKSKSKSK

- I love how it’s universally agreed that Mitsuya and Chifuyu r the best bois

- I have mixed feelings about Izana. I genuinely do like him and DESPISE how he’s whitewashed by fanart

- I get it u genuinely just wanted to not be alone and found out ur adopted in the worst way possible but…..idk how that justifies killing ur own sister but u do u ig 🤷‍♀️ and u have KAKUCHO AS UR FAMILY WTH

- don’t listen to me tho I’m a Mikey and Sanzu stan LMAOO 🤭🤭🤭

- Izana is the definition of mommy issues and 100% had crunchy hair lik mans was homeless

- if I saw Izana IRL I would RUN 🏃‍♀️idk he looks a lil crazy

- also this man does not know Tagalog he didn’t even know he was Filipino until he was lik 12

- idk the Tenjiku arc is so funny to me bc Izana is deadass: imma kill everyone in Mikey’s life for revenge and Mikey is lik: bruh I didn’t even kno u existed until last week and now ur killing our sister UNPROVOKED ???

- Bonten!Mikey is a virgin/no libido mans is DEPRESSED

- wished the Bonten arc was longer simply for the outfits bc Wakui KNOWS FASHION but that shit was DEPRESSION

- 3 Deities Arc was amazing and also funny/serious at the same time. It literally was an all out brawl in an AMUSEMENT PARK

- fr tho wtf was Benkei, Wakasa and Takeomi doing there??? Like they’re canonically 27 GO GET A JOB STOP FIGHTING 15 YEAR OLDS SHKSKSKS

- U cannot tell me that Sanzu WASNT sad when Baji and Mucho died.

- Baji was straight up his childhood friend and the only one other than Senju who knows about the plane incident/Mikey’s possessive side. And In the OG!timeline I’m pretty sure Baji was the only friend Sanzu DIDNT attack. While with Mucho he was pretty much his older brother, Sanzu just decided Mikey was better

- Tbh if the dark impulses/Shin thing wasn’t real I would’ve firmly believed Mikey had DID or something. Which again made only worse by the fact that violence and death is such a regular thing in his life (GET THIS MAN THERAPY LIK WTF IS SHIN AND GRANDPA SANO DOING???)

- Kazutora going a lil crazy is lowkey expected and I hate how we only find out about his home life in the character books. This kid grew up in a physically and mentally abusive household (gaslight to pick between parents and as s/o who has experienced that shit it’s fucked up) and I rlly don’t think prison helped out his mental stability either no shit he tried to kill Mikey

- I don’t ship Mikey and Takemichy (despite the IMMENSE gay ness btwn them) firmly bc I think everyone can see how much power Takemitchy has over Mikey idk it has a weird power dynamic like if Takemitchy tried he could 100% control Mikey (platonically or romantically)

- Baji, Chifuyu and Kazutora r a throuple

- I HATE how Sanzu is reduced to this crazy drug addict. Sanzu is canonically smart, manipulative, and formally trained fighter. He also REMEMBERS the OG timeline, he had to experience Shin dying twice and everyone else die no shit he’s a little bonkers/needs drugs to take everything away. Plus his relationship to Mikey which tbh is a whole separate post

- controversial !!!: I ship Mikey and Sanzu or Mikey and Draken. Sanzu only bc this man has a big ass crush and deserves some niceness for once

- ppl write Kakucho as this shy, nice guy like ur not wrong but mans is also running UNPROVOKED into Yakuza offices like it’s the gym while dragging Rindou wit him 😭😭😭

- the haitanis r the best sibling duo

- It lowkey makes me mad in fanfics where Ran is depicted as cheating w/Rin’s gf like??? This man raised his younger brother himself u cannot tell me he doesn’t love his brother and would actually do that to him

- Ran would 1000% do anything for Rin and i firmly believe he kinda regrets not saying anything in court to prevent Rindou frm joining him in jail. Like saying he forced Rindou to kill someone w/him, abusing his brother at home, etc especially in the Bonten! tl he def thinks about wtf he dragged his brother into

- I also don’t think they’ve slept w/ the same person before. Idk I feel like they have diff types like Ran goes for more motherly/mature types while Rindou goes for sweeter/shy types

- Draken has road rage

- Yuzuha should’ve been taller like AT LEAST 5’7 bitch is related to Hakkai and Taiju for gods sake

- OG BD 100% thought Wakasa was a girl for at least a month. He’s canonically 5’3 and pretty.

- Characters who r 100% bisexual: WAKASA, Senju,maybe Hina, Draken (def in denial), Rindou, Ran (he’s a whore as long as ur pretty he’s down), Sanzu, Koko, Kazutora, Chifuyu

- Mitsuya had a crush on Draken

[rvspecter]

okay hear me out. what do we think donna's relationship with her mother is like??? and the older sister??? because tbh im willing to bet it's not the best.

first of all, we know her parents separated at some point and that her sister is "much older" than her - im willing to bet 10 years, maybe? old enough to probably be out of the house when the separation happened, but i am wondering how old donna was at that time, and i wonder if she spent more time with her dad during that period.

we're just exposed to her dad so much more in the show, like two or three times compared to the one time in season EIGHT (very late in the series, mind you) where she goes to her mom to reminisce about a trip that was never taken, and the advice she gets leads to her severely fucking with harvey's job. while tbh i might have also told thomas if i were in her position, just bc he was really a good guy and didn't deserve to be fucked over like he would have been, i just find it funny that the one time donna's mom has impact as a character it leads to like a near catastrophe.

do we think younger donna could have blamed her mom for the separation as a child, and that it caused a shift in their dynamic that has been a fracture following donna into adulthood? could her mom be closer with the sister, or have moved to be wherever the sister lives in case the sister has kids or needs greater support?

just like even when donna and harvey get together there's no excitement to tell her mom or an indication that her mom is told, it's just a big thing to talk to her dad about (and FUCK donna's dad by the way, I'm on harvey's team with this one, jim was pissing me off every chance he got!!!!).

anyways I really am just trying to come up with more ways that darvey could parallel each other (harvey's blame to his mom for breaking up their family while sad wasn't all that great but he had a better relationship with him and admired him anyways), and I do want to know your thoughts on donna's sister if you have any!!!

SO I JUST REWATCHED THE DARVEY PARTS OF THIS EPISODE

i feel like she thought her mom was dumb for trusting her dad and giving him her savings. she asks her mom if she regrets doing it because of the way it turned out. and her mom is like how wud i kno how it’d turn out. and donna’s like CAUSE HE LET U DOWN BEFORE re: her dad but also harvey

and then there’s the flashback of her mom promising her all sorts of things that never happened because her mom trusted her dad so she tells thomas because she didn’t want to be made a fool of like her mom

what I don’t get is if this is the case why did she want to help her dad before with money ??

also during the flashbacks of this episode were her parents together or separate because that’s also confusing. her parents are together when they stay at harvey’s place but her mom has a boyfriend whose name doesn’t matter at the dinner party we don’t see. her family situation is definitely all over the place zero stability

i never got the sense that she was distant from her parents. the difference between her and harvey is that he seems to hold onto his anger whereas she doesn’t. i think she’s aware of their faults and conscious of not wanting to be like them but i think they have a decent relationship. enough so that she’s attending dinner parties with her mom and having breakfast semi regularly with her dad

also the episode where donna gets mad at harvey for not trying to build a relationship with her dad - i felt at the time it was donna’s reaction to their relationship like that he was going to bail and she was finding a reason to bail before him!! like what did u think

omg donna’s sister i didn’t even know she had one ahaha

[truesystemlove]

chats sent in collective discord after we had an introject with a "bad source" who thought everyone would hate him

>hey so we do have [redacted] i think

>bro is sad

>like SAD sad

>i got us in some comfy clothes and we went to bed but idk i dont think hes alr

>he keeps staring at our [thing he had in source] and i think he thinks everyone thinks hes evil bro

>but we chill me and this guy chill

>i want u guys to kno if u ever need help i got u

>im a team player

>and the others of yall come FIRST

>before ANYONE ELSE

>idgaf WHO THINKS they're entitled to shit

>not happnin

(what i sent after seeing it and meeting him)

>HEY [redacted nickname], [second nickname], big [slightly innapropriate nickname]. what [first sender] said is accurate asf!!! we can set u up a PK or not idc!! ur with us fo LIFE

.

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

Rogue thoughts and reactions--->

not taking many notes this time cause i wanted to Savour this one tbh and what a blast so far

rogue and doctor so far is like. rtd striking gold potentially here (i kno he didnt write this one i mean more like. in the long run. i could see fans going crazy over this Type of ship and spending sweet $$$$ on it lol).

ruby looking at this "scene" like it's a tv show………. live…….. honey u best believe in ghost stories hyper post-modern genre tv show seasons cause u are in one

cushy… wordsmiths-ing count…

"ruby: you know how i forget about a man?" with a woman? (shot)

the parallel of these guys "dishonoring" these ppl while the doc and ruby do kind of the same all the time sdkflj

mmm second time i see a triangle logo (it was there last ep on the door to the MEP area that lindsey and rickey ran into. camera held on suspiciously long on it…) (triangles…. three…. susan TRIAD???)

doctor this says you're single and available. oh another word. "very" available.

COME ON ACE WE HAVE WORK TO DO

"wow" boner dialogue

mention of gallifrey.... "i might take you one day" oh man. oh man………..

"random barren dimension" yes this is not an equivalent to a silent confinement analogue at all don't think about it too hard guys

"i lost everyone"

they're leaning on……………. oh yaz just broke a coffee mug somewhere

maybe the real enemy was fandom all along

THOSE TV SIGNALS BEAM OUT ACROSS THE STARS. TV SIGNALS. TV SIGNALS. TV ISNGALS TV

SIGNASLKDJASLKDJASKLJ1!!SKLFDJDSLKJFSDLK JF SHUT UPTJSDLFKSDJ (i die)

ok im enjoying The Concept a lot, as expected…….. but gotta say rogue does feel a bit two dimensional so far :/ (maybe even a bit cliche?) i feel jack in his first ep had more depth at first for example (bounty hunter but also lost his memory. doing amoral things but being swayed by the doctor at the end. etc). but there's time THERE'S TIME. DONT LE TME DOWN EPISODE PLEA SE. there's always a twist-

you people and your bridgetons. in my time this would all be a big ass downtown abbey reference

sad thing is this is def one episode i wont be able to watch with my homophobic parents at all oof lmao

this dialogue.... kinda thoschei acadamy years coded ngl

"tell me what your heart wants or i shall turn my back on your forever" defining 15 character dialogue……….

(commitment phobe doctor moment. my girl hastn changed at ALL) (btw intrigued by rogue's "i lost them" bc it could mean a lot right. it's the most delibarely ambiguous of pronouns dklfjsd like it could be a nonbinary character but could also be a couple characters? or maybe im reading it wrong sdlkjf)

play our games on a magnificent scale…………… games motif……….

"i thought i was interesting- but you??" exactly!!! doctor who>>>>>>>> bridgerton/all other tv shows. case made.

god i feel so stupid. i dint catch that twist at all TOT

wedding season finale. chuldur's know where it's at.

oh finally there's the scene from the trailers!!!!!!!!!

"how long do they live for?" oh he's gonna says A Thing "thats a long time to suffer" I WASN'T WRONG /GOES FERAL ( i knew the family of blood coding was leading somewhere…)

the doctor beatiing these cosplayers with his "i object" tv tropyness……….. the meta of it……… theory gang we're gonna make it yet i swear

ok yes this is sad poor ruby but like. but literally last month 14 killed/sacrificed donna w/o sm hesitation so sdklfjdsklfjsdklfj (yes im still like. HEY THAT WAS A SIGNIFICANT THING THAT HAPPENED. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT IT.)

oh is rogue a chuldur as well? he feels too invested in the trolley problem of it all sdlkfj

im gonna say it.... i thought that resolution was kinda........ as the kids say..... weak sauce sfkdj

like oh nooo he got teleported oh noooo. like he's gonna be fine slkdfjsd didn't really hit that hard :/ should have had a proper death sacrifice thing.

"im sorry....." "....AAAANYWAY , it is what it is!!!! " my man is so broken holy shit. holy shit.

it's ok to be sad. !!!!! TOT

CONCLUSIONS!!

sdlkjf ya'll i really wanted this to harder but idk i didnt feel the depth or sensibility this called for was there tbh. but it was a blast!!! but … it missed a bit of that x factor thing. like some kind of universality to the romance w/ the rogue. i feel he was too sketched-in.... i was also a bit disappointed that ruby's friend was not her friend bc it meant her whole thing this ep of connecting to that woman was for nothing (and up until that point it was feeling very Important specially after the marti thing) (and speaking of, the chuldur's were kinda very sketched-in / surface-level as villains as well) … yeah. idk. kinda disappointing ngl (diodati > this i think). pretty fucking gay tho so that was nice.

[whilomm]

5 months post top surgery i have a lotta random Feelings about it. Overall, defo feel positive about it, but also random bits of hmm. Like, not negative feelings per se, just ya kno, the usual complicated mix that comes from big changes.

Sometimes i get random pangs of "aw i miss boobs a lil" like just when im sitting around the apartment and kinda missing the ability to grab a boob whenever. Which isnt unexpected at all, before the surgery i was straight up saying "gonna miss having built in stress balls". which, like. i could just buy some? maybe try and find someone else to let me have some tit time? still, in an ideal world i would have been a shapeshifter and i could have been boobless 95% of the time and then 5% of the time rock some knockers. unfortunately, im NOT a shapeshifter, so i decided to forgoe the 5% of the time i appreciated tits in order to not be fucking miserable the other 95% of the time. overall win, but still. wish i was a shapeshifter and i didnt have to make decisions and shit.

and i guess I haven't had that much gender euphoria from it, looking in the mirror its less "omg!!! yay!!! 🥰🥰🥰" and more just. "yep, that looks about right." like, i guess its just to where i kinda forget it, ya kno? i mean, i cant FORGET forget, everytime i take off my shirt im looking at how my scars are healing and pokin em and all that, but when im wearing a shirt im just not thinking about it.

which. major fucking improvement from before (constantly thinking about my chest and how uncomfortable i am and how much i hate wearing bras and how i just wanted them GONE) but maybe its sorta a "its harder to recognize the absence of dysphoria than the presence of euphoria" kinda thing. ive always had issues with emotional impermanence (if im sad ive always been sad if im happy ive always been happy), so since its not a huge euphoria thing i feel like its easy for me to forget just how much i hated it before. i look in the mirror, i try on shirts, i walk around and i forget that anythings different since it just feels correct, so when i have moments of thinking to myself "yeah this is pretty cool, idk if it was fully necessary tho" i have to actively remind myself how much i fucking hated it before.

one thing that is absolutely a 100% positive tho? fucking PHYSICAL COMFORT. god just not having to deal with goddamn H cups is a blessing in and of itself. no more bras, no more tits sliding outta place randomly at work while im doing boxes, no more boob sweat, no more underboob yeast infections, no more painful jiggling whenever i run, i can exercise without worrying about a sports bra (....theoretically. ILL START EXERCISING AGAIN EVENTUALLY I PROMMY), less back pain (less. not no. my backs still fucky lmao). its FUCKING FANTASTIC not having to worry about any of that. and shirts just fit better!!! who would have thought that massive fucking protrusions on my chest were making it harder to find clothes :0 (me i thought that)

TOP SURGERY RATING:

ability to touch boobs whenever i want: ⭐ u win some u lose some 😔

Gender Feelings: ⭐⭐⭐ yea p chill. no biggie but also might be Emotional Impermanence. just feels natural u kno?

comfort: ⭐🌟💫⭐🌠x10 million holy SHIT i was fucking DYING before.

OVERALL: yes 👍

[dabisbratz]

not rlly a deku boyfie but BUT just imagining deku with the cutest face that can definitely meet and impress ur parents with the body of a life guard in those 90’s movies, running into crime scenes with every damn muscle out for the people to eat up on the internet… I would love for him to sweep his size queen bf off his feet from his thighs alone

why am I starting to like the idea of this gentle househusband of a man suddenly becoming so rough after u give him the slightest attitude…

no cause you’re right!! in public, zuku is so gentle n sweet. literally definition of gentle giant. all cheery n smiley, you jus wanna bite the freckles off his cutecutecute lil face!!! it’s always the little stuff that reminds you how big n strong he is… how much bigger than you he is.. especially when he’s pulling you closer to him or hugging you!! his squeezes are so tight!! n his grip is so strong, he has to be real careful not to accidentally hurt you!!

unless he wants to. of course, he’d never do anythin to actually hurt you!! never!!! maybe jus push you around a little. especially when you’re bein a lil brat. fixin his face so he’s all pouty n sad like he’s not the one doin it, n he’s apologizing all the while continuin to play with you like some kinda toy!!! jus goin ‘msorry baby, y’know i can’t help myself, right?’ n ‘you’re just too cute when you make that face! you get it, don’t you sweetheart?’ n if you’re ever doin somethin be explicitly told you not to? oh boy… he’s grabbin you like a box a feathers, holding you down so you can’t move n tellin you to recite his exact words. the funny thing is he sounds so gentle!! but really he’s jus gonna ruin you. cause you kno better!! )); so mean!

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[sadistpet]

Meet the Writer

it's munday everybunny you know what that means

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

i love choosing muses that aren’t very. canonically fleshed out. it gives me a lot of opportunity to make them into my own ig :3

raikov is generally a pretty blank slate besides the little we know about him ( being violent / sadistic, being in love with volgin, u kno ) and i think he's potentially a really interesting character from what little we see of him. im personally not ascribed to the eva theory bc i think its kinda silly and robs him of a lot of his personal agency, but it is a common theory, so i kinda wanted to build up a characterisation that was more. faithful to canon rather than fanon u kno. plus sometimes my autism just latches onto specific random characters for no reason and in this case it was raikov JDSFHDFKJ my partner loves raiden and when we were scrolling his wiki page for the funnies obviously raikov's page comes up at the top as a "maybe you meant this" and i just kept coming back to him

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH i hate writing anything with like. eating?? which is ironic considering . raikov . but i just never know how to word it BUT aside from that i think combat is really the only thing ! just cause i feel like it relies heavily on input from both parties and i constantly feel like im overstepping kjshkfjhg

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

fluff angst smut grins. they just come a lot easier to me, especially angst because i always have a LOT to say about silly little internal thought processes and i love writing sadness and pain ^-^ it makes me very gleeful ironically jdkhfdjhg i get very emotionally invested in angst especially. smut is a little bit harder? kinda like with combat ironically it heavily relies on the input of both parties but i do feel for the most part its pretty open ended fun :3

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ��ɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

i just know. BUT NO SERIOUSLY sometimes it's just Vibes, sometimes it's through reading canon stuff and linking it back to my backstory for him, sometimes it's through interactions with others. there's a lot :3 i do put a lot of thought into my headcanons though, maybe like. too much lmao. but i enjoy it i really love doing a lot of analysis to get to my headcanons

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

a bit of both ! rn i'm writing in silence and i think last night i was mostly writing in silence on my phone and then listening to music while i finished stuff on pc. i think it depends ? sometimes i just get really distracted when listening to music and end up completely neglecting actually writing HDFJGHED so i think overall i prefer silence, or something in the background that i've already seen before so i don't need to pay much attention to it

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

i love winging it :3 i like the unpredictability of it but i think i tend to like. outline ? replies before i actually write them properly. ive never really plotted with anyone besides a vague kinda outline or premise, because i do really like the unpredictability :3 but im always open to plotting grins cutely.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Yes. not just romantic shipping; sexual, enemies, rivals, whatever, idgaf I LOVE CONNECTIONS!!!!!!! i love being able to write relationships between characters. even if its like, familial relationships or whatever, i think it's SO FUN like ourgh. grins really big

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

frances ! it’s not my irl name but the one im most comfortable using online. i also go by rosalind, neo, and vanya :3 one of these is closest to my irl name but youll never guess

ᴀɢᴇ?

22, 23 this year somehow

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

september 17th !

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

pink. fairy tale pink. baby pink. any shade of pink

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

UM im not sure ?? of all time maybe dysph.oric reverie by [redacted] and the art of suicide by emilie autumn and valley of the dolls by marina atm though its a stranger i remain and holding out for a hero

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

the thing (1982) !! oh it was so fucking good i really really enjoyed it. theres a bunch of old classic horror films ive never seen so im glad i could tick one off the list :3 the effects in it were absolutely stunning my goodness

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

i think it was blue eye samurai ?? i gen dont remember

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

im so sorry for my crimes but it was the stains of time and then holding out for a hero

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

meat. and sweet things. i dont think i really have any favourites in particular besides liiiike caramel

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

spring ! all the other seasons make me depressed in some way somehow

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

i have avoidant personality disorder so im too scared to explicitly call anybody my friend in case they hate me so unfortunately i will not think of us as friends unless yuou tell me we are. but if i talk to you / interact with you regularly just know i consider u a friend ok. snf

[dad-of-the-yr]

Ok daddy i will be strong i am a knite prinsess and yes i like milo the mouse i miss u bed time storis i miss drawing wirh yu i miss u giving me piggy rides down stars but i kno u will come bac brother say u wont but i belive yu i will be good pease dunt be sad it will be ok!!!

thats right- youre my big strong knight princess so so strong for me. Your brother just- doesn't know what he's talking about okay? I'll come back soon, and we can all be happy together!

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

One of the biggest reasons I try to recruit all the characters in Three Houses isn’t just because I don’t want to kill them, but because if I do, I still have to go back to the monastery afterward. I still have to pass by their dorm rooms full of their belongings and know that’s where they spent their alone time and where they slept. I still have to pass by the spots they frequented the most. It’s not just the sad dialogue of characters reacting to the deaths, but passing by the spots I vividly remembered them hanging out at.

I realized this most in my first playthrough when I didn’t have the chance to recruit everyone and I accidently killed Raphael at Gronder. I didn’t have the enemy attack range turned on so I didn’t realize he was in range of attacking.

During an exploration, I was looking for Ignatz who was, unfortunately, in his dorm room... and I walked into the wrong room and into Raphael’s after he was killed and man that fuckin’ sucked! Feels bad but like, multiplied with big numbers, u kno??? ???

YES, IT’S A VIDEO GAME. YES, I HAVE HUMAN BEING FEELINGS ABOUT IT.