#self harm mentions

[uchihaharlot]

Heyooo, how are you, bro?

I hope your health is better now!

I have one innocent request.

"How would all Uchiha act if they finds out that you are self-harming?" (Mostly Madara pls😏)

I don't know if it's allowed topic... but yeah.

NSFW; TW self harm; minor mentions of injury; small prologue;

Before I go into this hc, I want to expressly tell anyone who reads this; whether we are mutuals or not. Whether you like my writing, like me or don’t or whatever.

My blog is a safe haven. You can openly message me, befriend me on discord (ask for my handle) or interact in the comments. If you feel like there are people who don’t care enough as they should. I just want to say that, I do. I don’t know who you are, what you’re doing. But I love you. Do not think for a single iota that your existence is merely coincidence, I’m not by any means a holier than thou individual and I’ve had my fair share of this isn’t worth living for: but trust me; it is and then some.

Madara:

Madara comes from an era where you put your best fist forward when things aren’t right. His level of resolve is steel cut and unwavering…but seeing you hurt yourself as an outlet, doesn’t sit well with Madara. And he’s into good old fashioned methods of healing…sorta. Expect to be tied up to his bed; not in the way you’d like either. For days he will keep you there, turning your body so you won’t get bed sores. Feeding you and letting you up to the toilet fa few times a day, and once at night if needed. All of this until you finally talk it out with him, and agree to find a better solution to figuring out how to express your feelings/pain. Insists on being around you every second of the day.

Obito:

I won’t lie, seeing you hurt yourself this way; it makes him cry. Do you want Obito to cry!? He’s inconsolable when you won’t even consider him as a vent source. And, while he won’t selfishly make it about him. He will openly admit most (ok all) of his faults in the hopes you would share your own. Whatever it is, Obito is sure that there are far better way to convey the message you want to share. Suffering in silence is only so fool proof.

Shisui:

No. No, no. No. Shisui one hundred percent won’t stand for it, and despite your protests of him almost catapulting himself off a cliff, he will tell you the error of his ways. Undoubtedly will make sure that you understand that even his own potential sacrifice would have been fruitless, and that you shouldn’t compare apples to oranges. And from there, Shisui will spend countless hours, days and nights proving to you just how sacred human life is. He inadvertently blames himself for some of this, you mentioning his almost demise opens old wounds and Shisui takes the opportunity for you both to grow and evolve. He wants to be a role model; not the reason you justify it.

Itachi:

In a way; he’s bereaved. This is highly unusual for you, and Itachi’s keen eyes (and new prescription glasses) catch a glimpse of your fresh wounds as he lightly snatches your arm. ‘Why would you do this?’ and ‘that’s not a logical reason to purposely harm yourself.’ Are a few of his stern words to you. Itachi is a no nonsense man, and he won’t tolerate you hurt yourself. If he was a true jerk, like he tricked many to believe for the longest time; he’d put you in Tsukuyomi and really give you something to think about. But instead, he inundated you day in and day out with his concern. Hoping that if you see one person who cares; you will eventually open up.

Sasuke:

Sasuke, traumatized by his older brother—not once but twice and more, lived in excruciating detail his own parents death, several times over. In the matter of three seconds; he understands your grief. Whatever you might be going through, I think when it comes to seeing other people suffering—especially as adult Sasuke, he can’t cope with it, and rarely did for himself. Which is sort of mkes him the besy person for this. He also doesn’t mince words and tells you straight out that you’re only causing yourself more harm in the long run. His method of cut and dry reality checks come in waves, when you think he’s not watching you, he’s right there. Don’t under estimate his capabilities. You’re on his radar and Sasuke won’t hesitate to use his techniques to get you talking; the sooner you find the root cause of your problems. The better, take it from someone who let their pain fester until it boiled over, it’s not worth it.

[lowcosmic]

—— stay with me . ; shuichi saihara

“ shuichi gently opened your dorm door, his breath catching in his throat. ”

— 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: shuichi loves you tons. so of course, he’d never want you to be hurt. but when he sees those scars on your arm, other people hurting you may be the least of his worries.

— 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : angst, fluff.

— 𝐜𝐰 : uncensored trigger words, suicidal thoughts, self - harm mentions, blood, fluff at the end. suicidal gender neutral reader.

— 𝐚/𝐧 : i just need some comfort rn ; the ending is so butt what happened there. THIS IS SO BAD I’M SORRY

“ it’s really hot out here … are you sure you want to keep that on? ” shuichi gently asked. “ it’s been a minimum of around 60 degrees everyday this week, and you’ve been wearing a sweater? … ”

“ it’s just … comfortable. ” you replied.

shuichi caressed your hand, feeling the sweat accumulating on your fingers. “ you seem uncomfortable, though … ”

you disagreed. what a lie.

shuichi continued to drink from his water bottle, tired from the outdoor gym activities. you didn’t bring water, having overslept and unable to bring some to school. your throat was parched, a drought beginning to spread throughout your body.

but most of all, your arms ached. the marks could open up any moment, and shuichi would see. you shifted around at the thought. you didn’t want to worry him anymore about you, he didn’t deserve to be with someone like you. he deserved better, as you were always so used to thinking.

you must’ve had that usual faraway look in your eyes, because shuichi put a hand on your arm to ask again if you were okay.

you simply nodded as you felt shuichi's eyes gaze at your face. you were absolutely gorgeous to him … it never occurred to him that you may not see the same views as him on your appearance.

“ i love you, ” shuichi murmured, planting a kiss on your temple even if it was pretty damp. he then blushed, apologizing repeatedly for not asking first.

you wished that this fuzzy warm feeling could stay forever, but as you knew very well … good things always must come to an end.

< warning . next part contains mild descriptions of self harm . if you wish to skip it , go on till you see these brackets : < _ > . viewer discretion is advised. >

you pulled out a razor, skidding it across your skin. your bloody skin, your scars re - opening and screaming in agony.

you redid the action on a different spot, blood appearing there too. your hand shook. you pressed the razor blades harder into your flesh. blood ran down your arm, the blades sinking further into you.

your mind was fuzzed. your left arm was bleeding uncontrollably. you had to continue. you moved to your right arm, digging the sharp metal beneath your tender wounds.

how would everyone react if they saw you do this?

how far could you push it in till it’d really, really be un - healable?

you felt tears prick at your eyes. until …

&lt; end >

you heard a knock at the door. then the sound of someone … picking the lock?

“ i feel bad for intruding like this … ” you heard someone mutter.

… shuichi?

“ i'm leaving after this, i don’t feel like watching you two make out, so just give me my payment tomorrow. ”

… kokichi.

you heard a click! and your door opened slightly.

“ taaa - daaaa! okay cya now. good luck!~ ” faint, rapid footsteps could be heard fading away ; kokichi leaving, you presumed.

shuichi gently opened your dorm door, his breath catching in his throat.

his breathing became shaky, his voice like a whisper. “ (y … y/n)… ? ”

you could see tears form quickly in his eyes. he tried to form sentences, but all that came out were quiet sobs. you instinctively dropped the razor. he rushed to you and hugged you without touching your arms.

crying, he shot a bunch of questions at you. you didn’t reply to any of them, your own tears finally falling down your face. he continued uncontrollably sobbing.

he needed to help you. he slowly got himself together ( while still crying ) and went to find the dorm’s complementary first aid kits, with you still in his line of vision.

and as he was cleaning and disinfecting your arms, you finally spoke out a hoarse version of his name. his eyes shot up to your face, despite his usual shyness of eye contact.

you apologized as he got out the bandages.

“ why … a - are you a - apologizing? ” he stuttered, his tears being choked back the best they could.

“ for … making you worry like this. ” you sniffed, your own face tired and hazy.

“ i … i'd do this for you no matter what! i - i did worry … but it’s b - because i care for you …! ” he stumbled over his words, unsure on what he should say.

“ you deserve better, ”

“ you’re … you’re the best for me, though ... ”

he finished up bandaging your arms, his hands moving down to yours. he kissed the both of them lightly. you felt two small tingles run up your spine.

“ i need a tissue. ” you mumbled quietly to yourself.

“ me too. ” he said, equally quiet.

in the next few days, shuichi had permission to move into your dorm, danger - proof the vicinity, and he paid for therapy sessions to help you. and as your scars started to heal, you thanked whoever was watching you for blessing you with him.

in the lunchroom the day after that, you lightly kissed shuichi on the cheek as you watched his face turn pink. you watched kaito and maki compliment your relationship. you watched kokichi and miu make lewd observations ( claiming you two had done the do, e.t.c. ). and you watched your boyfriend smile at you playfully.

maybe life wasn’t all that bad.

please don’t repost , translate , or claim my works as your own.

[nightfallsystem]

probably no one cares but body positivity / body neutrality and other related movements for acceptance should also include people with scars, even self harm scars.

[wdiao]

Just wanted to do some figure drawing and work on poses and body shapes.

Figured 'why not draw the body shape of the main character for WDIAO?' before they fell. Just how I PERSONALLY see them. You can think of them with whatever body type you want.

So have this?

Pose referenced for this was from jookpubstock btw. Remember, references are your friend! Don't be afraid to use them, but give credit if you do.

[regretevatorforrealrep]

IM ZO FUCKING OVERWHELMED RIGHT NOW

MY FRIEND ACUZED ME OF BEING A NEO NAZI WHAT THE FUCK

IM CLOSE TO HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN I CANT DO THIS ZHIT ANYMORE

I CANT!

ALL OF YOU MAKE ME WANNA ZLIT MY NECK AND WRIZTZ WITH A KNIFE AND ZTAB MY ZTOMACH

I HATE YOU ALL

I HATE MYZELF!

-Mod Gnarpy

[bloodhaven]

I love having chemical labs and brain wave labs showing proof there's something genuinely wrong with me instead of just

. Idk. My feelers???? Like i always doubt my mental health diagnosis' because there's no like.... Diagnostic criteria above me Feeling And Doing Things, there's no labs, there's no cords attached to my head, but we both (my psych nd me, + my therapist) know I'm depressed and anxious and have bpd and bipolar and more, but there's no labs!!!

Sorry this rant got long its under the cut um tw for self harm and needles and suicide (od) attempts

Where's the paper proof ?? Where's the chemical proof? The brain scans? There aren't any because I haven't had any done, and I don't think I'll need them done??? (Unless my dizziness doesn't go away then.... I might)

But with my Narcolepsy there's brain tests, there's cords hooked to my scalp with this nasty glue gel shit all night monitoring me, I had to spend seconds at a time under scalding water to get the gel out and I have temperature trauma so of course i was triggered and burned and crying by the time it was all out, but there's proof!!! My doctor saw it! He said i sleep like a 3 month old, which isn't great, but he saw it and then he gave it to me so I have proof forever of my narcolepsy issues

For my diabetes there's blood tests every three months to make sure my A1C is good, they tested my blood three different times!!! I was tested for hyper cortisol (once) diabetes type 1 (twice) and then they did further testing to confirm my diabetes diagnosis (twice) by my primary care & by my Endocrinologist!! Its there! I have proof!! I have to shove a needle into my tummy once a week to keep my sugars under control, and every 10 days I put a CGM into my arm so i can WATCH my sugars change !!

But where's the Proof for my mental health? The scars on my wrists and thighs? I've had people accuse me of doing it for attention before. My 3 hospitalizations? The doctor for the third didn't believe i needed it, the first time I went i had to force it , and the second time was 1 month after the first for an overdose attempt.

I! Want! More! Proof! I want the paper trail, the blood draws, the labs, the scans ,etc for my mental health... I want rock solid undeniable proof of what is wrong with me so i dont spend my life going "well what if they were wrong" i dont i dont!!

[heretherebedork]

Silent Blame (Remember Me, PG-13, mentions of self harm and self hatred, Name angst set directly after episode 5)

The door locking behind Name was the only sound of comfort he could remember. That meant he was alone, that meant she couldn't follow him, that meant he could stop hearing her voice in his ears.

But he couldn't.

His mother's accusations rang and echoed, filling his head until there wasn't room for anything else. Choosing to be mute. You want to be mute! And it was a cacophony of agony, building until he had to scream...

But nothing came out.

A breath, hard and forceful, his head exploding as he tried to find his voice, tried to find the sounds that has escaped and found... nothing. Silence. The room was filled with silence and the sound his his knees hitting the floor. The sound of his ragged breath. The sound of his fist on his thigh. The sound of nothing, again and again, as he tried to find the strength to scream.

But the silence reigned.

Name could feel himself crying. He could hear the little huffs of air, the way he kept sniffling, the staccato trembles in each exhale. But there was still no sound. Did he truly want to be silent? Was this all just something he was choosing? Did he really want to be trapped like this? He shivered at the thought, wiping away tears that fell as fast as he could try to clean them.

But he still turned to the mirror.

His lips moved, again and again, shaping Em's name through tears and hiccups and trying to find the sounds he'd made that one time, trying to find the voice he'd lost so long ago. Was this his fault? Was he going to lose everything because he just couldn't make himself talk?

But he couldn't.

Em's name turned to curses, turned to anything, anything at all, a thousand words he could write or sign all right there on his lips but never with a single sound, never with anything more than a shaky inhale or a sniffle.

But he kept trying.

Another scream, another force, trying to find anything that would break his silence again, that would make his mother happy, that would give him freedom. But all that happened was that his face ached, his chest ached, his eyes burnt. Name was still crying, still shaking, exhausted more than he had ever been and still silent, still trapped, still right where he had started. He sank from his knees to sitting flat on the floor, his hands trembling.

But he didn't stop.

He heard his mother test his doorknob. He heard her voice. Did she say his name? Did she ask him anything? His lips worked, his mouth worked, he tried to find those sounds and found nothing but more tears, more pain, the strain turning his face red. He pressed his nails into his arm, trying to bring a scream to his lips. Pinched his skin until it was red, tender to even the lightest touch, silence still holding his tongue hostage. The doorknob had stopped moving. She'd given up. She'd left him again. Everyone left him, again and again, alone in a room in silence.

But he couldn't go.

Name lifted his hand, staring at himself in the mirror. What hadn't he done? What else was there? Was this really just his fault? Did he want this? His eyes were swollen and red, his cheeks irritated by tears, his lips aching as he tried to find anything to bring words to his lips. His eyes traveled to his hand and he swallowed hard, throat aching from the air he'd been forcing through it.

But he couldn't do a thing.

Finally, slowly, he sank into himself. He was out of tears, out of air, out of anything but pain. Em was gone, building a new life with normal people. His mother would look at the next day and she would still blame him and who else would she blame? He had no one else, no one who could help him, no one because he was the one who was wrong. Who else could be wrong? Not all of them. Not all the people who kept leaving, not the ones

They couldn't all be wrong.

So Name curled in on himself on the floor of his bedroom, burying his face in his knees, looking away from the mirror. He couldn't bear the sight of himself. And if his arm ached, if his face burnt, if his eyes could barely close... he had no one to blame but himself, didn't he?

[nightmarecountry]

🛏️ x all of them ❤️🫂

If we gave you EVERY headcanon for these two, we'd be here all night, and we have to sleep at a semi reasonable hour. You get three. 👄💋👄

1. They share a bed surprisingly often, mostly because Alex (and later Corinth2) likes to be comfortable and Frankie has no boundaries for herself or others, and frankly they're always crashing at each other's places and there's only ever one bed.

2. It was less common with Alex because he didn't like actually sleeping near anyone (and would always wake up screaming, crying, or trying to hurt someone or himself) so it was more just "we're watching movies together while in the same bed". With Corinth2 it's surprisingly more intimate because he doesn't NEED to be there, he's clearly sharing space with her because he wants to. He will occasionally let Frankie cuddle up and rest her head on his chest. He doesn't have a heartbeat, but there are other sounds inside him, strange and wondrous.

3. In the verse where Frankie and my Dream are together, Dream has come across them sharing a bed before. Xe seemed to think nothing of it, greeting Frankie with affection and the Corinthian with indifference, but the vibes were WEIRD nonetheless. (Later, when Morpheus is dead and the two are seeking toxic comfort in one another, they'll fuck in that bed to the satisfaction of neither; Frankie left physically sated but emotionally gutted, the Corinthian left in a pit of revulsion, self loathing, and frustration).

[originalfireemblemscenarios]

I'm trying to make is as tagged as possible and I hope I did this right

Jeralt comforting his S/O who attempted self harm

Cw: self harm mentions

There are a lot of things he tends to worry about. Your safety is one of his main priorities.

He was aware that you're strong. At least that's what he thinks of you. But you were rather fragile in reality. He found that out the hard way.

Your mind was dealing with all kinds of thoughts it was too much to handle...

It felt suffocating. But as you considered your options there was something that you could do.

Taking out a dagger you went on a path that won't end well. Fortunately for you Jeralt at one point got rid of the knocking habit.

When he saw you press the weapon against yourself he was shocked. He had no idea what to say other than ask you to put it down.

After you did that, his panic slightly faded and he was able to speak more.

"What's wrong? Can you talk to me about it?" he was rightfully concerned. All he wanted was to help you but he could only do so if you allow him.

He knew that talking about it at the wrong time will only make it worse, that's why he asked. At the same time he wanted you to tell him that no matter what.

But regardless he'd help you. He isn't by any means an expert at comforting- but he'd be dammed if he allows you to feel like you need to resort to self harm.

~Mod Bernadetta

If you want to talk about it he'd be the best listener, if you don't want to talk he'd respect that boundary and instead try to make you focus on something else.

Everything to let you feel better. All you need is to ask.

[starlightseraph]

house md will always be remebered as the most insane thing ever broadcast because of how unabashedly feral everyone involved was.

a short collection of things that happen on the show, just off the top of my head, not even scratching the surface:

- house shoots a random dead body in the morgue and then sticks him in an mri machine, which pulls the bullet out of the dead guy’s head and destroys the machine, costing the hospital millions

- foreman gets bitten by a person with rabies

- chase kills an african dictator

- cameron steals drugs from a patient after possibly getting hiv from said patient

- house induces a migraine and then takes a drug made by his arch nemesis (who he’s been stalking for 25 years) to get the drug taken off the market. he then takes lsd (in the hospital, in the middle of a case) to cure the migraine.

- chase goes into anaphylaxis after doing body shots

- house stops an elevator so he can perform a cavity (vaginal) search on a teenage heart transplant patient who’s in cardiorespiratory arrest

- they give a neurosurgeon mushrooms to cure his food poisoning, then they stick him in an operating room. the neurosurgeon strips in front of a health board assessor.

- kutner dies for gay marriage

- house sets an autopsy room on fire while trying to juggle flaming bottles

- house gets recruited by the cia

- taub gets held at gun point after diagnosing a stripper with skin cancer

- in almost every single episode, the team breaks into multiple houses

- house fakes terminal brain cancer so he can get drugs implanted directly into the pleasure centre of his brain

- house cons us immigration to get his fake wife a green card. he also uses his fake wife’s ukrainian food truck to spy on people

- house tries to get wilson, his closet case boybestfriend, into bed every few episodes. every other sentence out of house’s mouth is about wanting to rail wilson.

- taub has a kid with his ex-wife, after they divorce, at the same time he has a kid with his 25 yo side piece. the kids’ names are sophie and sophia.

- house and wilson have a bet on who can hide a chicken in the hospital the longest without anyone finding out

- house tries to kill himself like 6 times and always fails (insulin shock, overdoses, electrocution, jumping off a building, cutting, etc)

- house fakes his death to get out of a prison sentence after violating his parole so he can live out his bi love story with his gay best friend who has 5 months to live

[valtsv]

obviously i don't think that it's even close to the answer, but when someone is so tormented by guilt that they're like. strike my hand from my wrist. cut out my lying tongue so that it might never give voice to such wicked words again. tear my offending eyes from their sockets and feed them to the dogs. well it does fascinate and compel me.

[wolfertinger666]

hey cool update because I feel it's important to say: been clean from SH for almost a year. it's been so long I actually feel nice. happy to be healing.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[till-we-become-monsters]

Doing a notes post cus why not?

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

30 notes - ill go through my closet and get rid of what I don’t want

60 notes -I’ll try and draw everyday/finish old projects

90 notes - ill try and brush my teeth everyday

100 notes - I’ll finish the mural on my wall

130 notes - I’ll try and finish the books I started

160 notes - I’ll try and figure out my hair type (straight, wavy, curly)

190 notes - I’ll try and take care of my hair the way it’s meant to be taken care of

200 notes - I’ll try and wear my glasses all the time

300 - I’ll try to go outside more

400 - I’ll try and eat at least one meal every day

500 - I’ll try and take care of my cuts a little bit better

600 - I’ll try and talk to my parents about things even though they probably won’t listen (don’t do this to me- /hj)

700 - I’ll try and stay clean for a whole school week (5 days straight)

800 - I’ll try and eat two meals a day

900 - I’ll try and stay clean for a whole week (7 days)

1K - I’ll try to find a online therapist (because asking my parents for one is scary (don’t do this to me plz /hj))

2K - I’ll try and stay clean for a whole MONTH. (30 days)

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

More to be added when I figure it out

SPAMMING IS OK

(probably gonna regret saying that-)

[wdiao]

Venting. You can ignore this.

I can't help feeling like a hypocrite right now... I'm writing a story about starvation and trying to make it clear that starving yourself isn't good!

And yet.... Yesterday was the first time in months that I was able to eat more then a single meal in a day. I know I'm relapsing, but can't seem to help it.... doesn't help that with money issues, I feel guilty for just buying food for myself.

I've always been..... heavier. The thinnest I've ever been was about 150 lbs, and that was after 2 years of starving myself! I'm only just alone 5 foot tall, so even then I want considered thin.... it's just near impossible to lose weight for me.

It's hard not to feel like I'm not doing enough even everyone around you is smaller then you while talking about whatever diet they're on....

It doesn't help that the only support I have is my roommate (only friend left), mother, and sister. All my other friends having forgotten I exist over a year ago. It wasn't even I fight! They just... Stopped answering me when I would try to contact them. I don't know if I even did anything wrong.... but considering one of them was the person helping me from relapsing onto self harm and starvation... I'm having a hard time.

I just feel lonely, frustrated, and sad..... I want my friends back and not to worry about if I'll be able to live another day (from financial bs and suicidal ideation)

I could go on.... but I don't want to get emotional with my roommate nearby.

[cupcakeslushie]

Does Donnie ever lash out at any of his brothers during an "episode"?

For the most part Donnie tends to direct any harmful actions inwards, but of course his brothers won’t just sit there and watch him hurt himself. So it’s only when they try to intervene that they get caught in the crossfire. They never hold it against Donnie, though.