#// anyway!!!! my favorite boys i smoosh them together

[hellguarded-moved]

// an alternative version of a previous piece ✨ ft. @ekleipsi

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 4 – STUCKONY FAVORITES

Comic Books and Kings by ashes0909

Pairing: Steve/Bucky/Tony Rating: E Words: 10,503 Tags: Childhood Crush, Pining, Possessive Supersoldiers

Summary: Tony Stark read Captain America comics and everyone knew it, but it was only ever about Bucky Barnes.

Reasons why I love it: I love love LOVE when fics take on the whole fanboy Tony angle, and seeing it applied to Tony's obsession with Bucky instead of Steve is really fucking fun. Also Captain Wonderbread as a nickname makes me unreasonably happy. I just want to smoosh these three idiots together, but luckily they get there all on their own. Check this one out, you won't regret it!

journeyman by orphan_account

Pairing: Steve/Bucky/Tony Rating: M Words: 6,165 Tags: Tony & Strange Friendship, Telepathic Bond, Space Travels

Summary: /Old man/Tony thinks, resigned. /This could be my sea. Space, the final frontier./ Steve thinks as hard as he can: come home. /Not like anyone's waiting for me back on earth, anyways./ Steve puts his fist through a wall. [alternately: Tony wanders through space while Steve and Bucky listen to his thoughts]

Reasons why I love it: I came for the Stuckony and was blindsided by how much I loved the parts of the fic where Tony and Strange are bickering their way through space, with some great cameos from the Guardians. That being said, the Stuckony is fucking fantastic, and I hope you give this fic a try, because it's definitely one of my favorites.

1994 by orphan_account

Pairing: Steve/Bucky/Tony Rating: M Words: 6,495 Tags: Fem!Tony, Angst with a Happy Ending, Miscommunication

Summary: Tony goes blonde for a few months. She isn’t nuts about it, but Steve and Bucky really seem to hate it, which is a good selling point. The press are convinced it's the beginning of a mental break. They might not be totally wrong.

Reasons why I love it: Toni's characterization here is top notch. I really love a femme fatale, but her soft spots are what really make this fic so great. The writing style of mystery author is also really cool, almost poetic in some parts of the fic. Getting these small, really poignant timestamps throughout the plot feels really refreshing, and the pacing is great. Definitely read this one if you like Toni being an irresistible temptation to the superserum duo.

Sharing is Caring by SailorChibi

Pairing: Steve/Bucky/Tony Rating: M Words: 3,837 Tags: A/B/O (Alpha Bucky and Steve, Omega Tony), Heat Cycles, Bad Guys Made Them Do It

Summary: When Steve goes into a rut while he and Tony are kidnapped by Hydra, Tony is convinced that what happens between them is going to ruin everything. He's wrong.

Reasons why I love it: I'm a sucker for all things sex pollen, x made them do it, fuck or die shenanigans, and if you are too, then this fic is right up your alley. Add to that the delicious moral dilemma of Tony trying to protect the sanctity of Steve's and Bucky's relationship along with a mutual guilt complex, and you've got an amazing fic right there. Plus, the writing style is fantastic, so that just elevates it to the next level. Definitely give this one a read!

Hide A Heart Of War by RayShippouUchiha

Pairing: Steve/Bucky/Tony Rating: T Words: 13,617 Tags: Flowers, Soul Marks, Pining

Summary: “You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.” Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

Reasons why I love it: You've probably read this fic already, but Jesus Christ, go and read it again right now because it deserves all the love it can get. The whole concept is godtier, and the choices for which characters have which flower marks are so goddamn brilliant, I just – fucking hell, I love this fic so much. If you by some miracle haven't read this one yet, go and do it now! I promise, there is no better use of your time!

[authorlaurawinter]

Review: A Rival Most Vial by RK Ashwick

@ashen-crest you’ve done it again.

STOP IT WITH THIS PERFECT COZY

As if I wasn’t already going to go bonkers over the chapter titles being potion instructions or the gorgeous graphics. As if I wasn’t going to squeal in delight with the potion diagrams and illustrations. As if I wasn’t going to cry at how precious these two MCs are.

ARMV is a book that you want to showcase on your shelves and brag about it to your friends like Ambrose brags to his customers about Eli. You want to hold hands with it and have tea and curl up with your automaton to read to it. You want to clutch it to your chest and never, ever let go.

I want to crawl into this book and live forever in Rosemond street with these shops and lovely friends. I thought Ambrose was going to be my favorite grumpy boy and then my sweet, sweet boy Eli just had to exist and had to be so perfect for Ames. Oh, to be courted by Eli Valenz… is there anything more romantic?!?

Smooshing these two rivals together for a potion commission was the perfect plot to highlight their joking and absolutely swoon-worthy enemy to friend to love relationship. I cannot handle how freaking precious their growth was, and UGH that ending just had me screaming and shaking and desperately wanting to climb into the pages and hug my new favorite characters. These two are made for each other, and their love is so pure that I had to stop reading so I could take a deep breath. I almost forgot they were fictional.

Not only do we have excellent MCs, we have a cast of absolute perfection (and representation). The shopkeepers are not only diverse and unique, they are genuine and well-written and make this such a well rounded story. They add so much to an already rich plot and provide such heartwarming friendships that this little found family is my new favorite and I could just sit on a bench on Rosemond and watch them forever doing the most mundane tasks like sweeping.

First off, I need a little side story of Tom getting into trouble and going on her own adventure. Second, I need an entire novel of Lily going around and being absolutely iconic. Third, can we please have an epilogue where Eli punches Pearce to defend Ambrose’s honor?

Do you want to know the worst part? That I can’t read it for the first time ever again. Do you know how offensive that is? This book has no right to be so cozy and warm and comforting. How dare this be so utterly incredible that it ruins me so thoroughly.

Anyway, I’m off to beg Ashwick to write her own fanfiction so I can have more Ambrose being grumpy and Eli slaying dragons in Ambrose’s name.

This is an arc read and I’m leaving a review voluntarily, but let me tell you, none of this review is exaggerated in any way.

[fairladybellaphram]

Oh! I’m making money babysitting which is nice, but also sucks because it’s been taking up all my spare time. I have so many half drawn monsters I want to finish v~v

But mom took me to the store yesterday and I bought myself TWO new dolls because I wanted to

I opened Heather first since I held Daria the entire trip home and felt like I was playing favorites.

(Also please don’t mind my bed I had all my stuffed animals in it for cleaning purposes)

WHY DID THEY PUT A RUBBER BAND IN HER JOINT I had such a hard time getting them off

Her first and second outfits. Love that her jacket has loops in it so she can wear it on her shoulders, I’ve always wanted to be cool enough to do that without struggling and it turns out people just cheat and do it with loops!?

Some detail shots because I thought they were really cool. Love Heather. She was a gem.

Daria though, I barely have any photos of her because we had a very bad time together. One of the straps on her dress was so small I could barely get it off, and I straight up could not get her second top past her elbows. I also think she’s got a defect in her left leg, it looks like it’s been smooshed flat and the foot looks a little funny. I also messed up her hair struggling with her clothes so the only photos I have are post salon time while it’s still wet. And finally, I think because her hair is so bright I couldn’t get my camera to focus on her!!!! So I just have one photo of her in her display outfit. It’s the same as her base outfit but with Luna’s second dress.

Anyways, so glad to have these beauties in my collection! I still need Sheryl and Daphne from series three to have all the ones I want. Gabi is… fine I guess, and I desperately want to like Emi but I just… don’t. Pinky purple goth girl should be up my alley but eh. Still want Shannelle and Natasha from shadow high too. Nicolle bores me personally and while I’m always happy to see more boy dolls I will never buy them.

[sociallyanxiouss]

You Don’t Know Me (Part 1) (Severus Snape)

MASTERLIST

pairing : severus snape x student (slytherin) reader

summary : professor snape is known to be ruthless on his students, which causes a lot of people to hate him. that means it doesn’t stop him from being more hard on you since you’re the daughter of one of his former bullies in hogwarts. what he did not know, was that you’ve been neglected as a child, and grew up in a not so amazing home. when he said something about you, you end up getting hurt and upset. (angst)

word count : 2,354 words 12,808 characters

warnings : abuse! 

i made up the last names since there was no marauders era boys that fit the family descriptions, so try to imagine another guy included in the group!

a/n : if you can’t tell already, i like writing a lot of angsts with a somewhat happy ending. anyways, request my anything for a change! aannndd you can always tell me if you want to be included in the taglist, i always try to post one imagine per day. 

-

it’s your seventh year in hogwarts this year, your last year. as you step out of the hogwarts express train to the flat earth, you let out a relieved sigh. you haven’t had the best summer, but to be fair, you have never had a good summer. 

since you’re a slytherin, you don’t tend to show a lot of emotions besides anger. though you have a terrible life back at home, you try not to bring it to school, knowing that going to school was the only was of escaping the horrid home. 

your family name, emrys was a pureblood, rich and influential people, at least to the public eye. in your eyes, you looked at them as monsters. on the easy days, they would say things to you that no child should ever hear from their parents. and on the harder days, they would use you as a punching bag. although you knew you didn’t deserve this treatment, you had no one to go to, no one to even talk to about this, besides your bestfriend draco. 

draco and you grew up together as the emrys and the malfoys have been great friends. funny enough, you and draco were expected to be together and get married. they would tell the both of you that the pureblood community would be stronger if we were to be together. 

unfortunately for them, draco and you have only seen each other as friends, maybe even siblings. you tried dating once, and it didn’t work. although a lot of people thought the both of you as the power couple. thus, you have stayed great friends since. 

draco knew about the abuse you are going through. he even once told you he wanted to tell his parents, but you told him that it would make things worst as everyone knew the emrys to be really good people. with that, he dropped the topic, only writing to you and hugging you tight when something bad happens to you. 

you tried to be nice to people of other house. discreetly, at least since you needed to uphold your reputation as an emrys. you also found the best in people and you found it hard to hate people, unlike draco, as he bullies a lot of the gryffindors. 

however, there was one person in the school that you hated aside your parents, and that was the mysterious and dark potions professor.

at first, you found him intriguing as he always knew how to cover up his emotions, but his eyes held so much pain that only you could notice. his long, black cape always sweeping the floor gracefully as he walks down the hall, into the potions classroom or the great hall. he was also the head of slytherin, meaning he always toned down his scowling with us, though it doesn’t really make a difference. 

but then, when you sat down in your first potions class, next to draco, your opinions on him slightly changed. when he found out your last name, the scowl on his face became more apparent, and that confused you. 

come to find out, your father, who was friends with a lot of people back in his hogwarts days, had relentlessly bullied the potions professor. although you didn’t understand why professor snape would treat you differently from that, you somewhat forgave him as you knew how your father is at times. 

the first few times of interaction, you found the professor annoying, but still bearable. he would ask you the most questions, and when you would answer every single one of his questions right, he would glare at you, more than he already had done to you. 

then, as the years go by, he has become more ruthless to you. you were the only slytherin that would get pestered by him. one day, for example, he had slipped some type of potion in your goblet during breakfast as he walked by, the potion was meant to make the drinker sick, too sick to even walk to your next classes. unfortunately for him, you were a strong girl, and you pushed through the day even though your face showed exhaustion, hair in a messy bun, unlike how you were usually. you were always well kept and brought yourself well to the public. 

the next week when you finally recovered fully however, you got a letter from your dad, saying he was disappointed in you, after hearing from his friends’ children that you looked miserable. after reading the words on the parchment, you slowly walked to the common room, draco trailing behind you. for hours, you would cry and weep about your dad in draco’s arms, face nuzzled in his warm neck. 

you came back, looking prim and proper, as usual, acting like nothing happened, which was why the potions professor continued to try to get you down. 

now, you were the charms classroom, waiting for the rest of your classmates to reach. draco, who was next to you, kept talking to you about pansy parkinson, the girl who had the biggest crush on him. his face looked uncomfortable as he told me the story on how she had put her hands on his thighs when he was talking to zabini. you shuddered at the thought of pansy and draco together. 

zabini was sat next to me, but turned behind to talk to crabbe and goyle since i was talking to the malfoy boy. as the charms professor walks in, everyone quietens down and awaits for another long day of class. 

about halfway through, you heard the classroom door open abruptly. jumping slightly and heart beating fast in your chest, you turned to look at who interrupted your boring class. 

you turned and made eye contact with your least favorite professor. he looks at you with a snarl, turning to professor flitwick. 

“i would like to see miss emrys this instant. her parents are here to see her.” he says, with his usual slow and low, intimidating voice. 

your eyes widen slightly. your heart feels like it has dropped to the bottom of your stomach. draco brings his left hand to touch your shoulder, as a way to tell you that it would be fine and that he would be there for you when you returned. 

you knew better, your parents were busy people, they didn’t have free time laying around to come to hogwarts just to see you or talk to you. you stood up from your table and gracefully walked to professor snape, trying to not break down crying in front of everyone. 

professor snape turns and walks, not waiting for you. fortunately for you, you could somewhat match his long strides. while you were walking, your heartbeat became faster than the second before. you were thinking about the reasons your parents would be here. were you in trouble? did they just need something to punch at the moment. 

your thoughts were interrupted as the two of you reached the potions classroom. you felt like your heart was about to jump out of your chest. the potions professor opens the door and there you saw both your parents standing in front of the professor’s table. you felt like passing out, just from seeing their faces and seeing their eyes trained on you. 

you walked in the classroom, still trying to look as emotionless, but your hands were clutched at your sides, knuckles almost turning white. you saw your professor trail down to look at your face, then your hands. you quickly relaxed it, not wanting him to be suspicious. 

“i will leave the three of you to talk now.” the professor says before walking out the door. 

the professor was confused, why did you look so scared to see them? surely you had to be excited to finally see you parents after a while now, as the emrys were constantly moving from one place to another for work. although he didn’t like the emrys, due to what he had gone through in the past with the man of the house, the professor still knew what was going on with his former bullies. 

he pushed the thought out of his head, he didn’t care at all for you. not a part of him cared for the emrys child. he walked out his classroom’s door quickly as he did not want to see the emrys any longer, hurt still clear and fresh in his heart from his school days. 

you stood infront of your parents, no emotion on your face. you tried to scan your fathers face to see what he was thinking about. scarily, his face was full of nothing but anger. same goes to your mum. you hated this, you wanted this to end already, and nothing has even started. 

your father said a silencing charm to the classroom, making sure no one could hear the three of you. from then on, you knew what was going to happen. 

your father walks up to you, his left hand in a fist, striking your stomach. as you still had a bruise there from last summer, it hurt more than usual. you moved back from the impact, but not falling to the floor, not wanting to show weakness. 

you stabled yourself. your father came at you again, backing you up to a wall in the classroom before grabbing your throat with his hand and lifting you up, cutting your air passages. your mum came next, she cups her hands on both your cheeks. 

“you have embarrassed us, tainting our family name. what gave you the right to do that, hm?” she says, her voice eerily low. 

your face was smooshed tightly but you still tried shaking your head, telling them that you didn’t mean to do anything of the sort. 

since your air intake was cut off by your father, it didn’t take long for you to trash in your father’s hands, your lungs begging for air. tears in your face, your father throws you down on the floor. you landed on the floor with your hair covering your face, almost unconscious. 

you told yourself that you were strong and that you couldn’t afford to pass out now, you had to show them that you were strong. you almost being unconscious did not faze them. they moved back quickly, your fathers wand trained to you. you prayed a silent prayer in your head.

“crucio.” he says. you trash on the floor as you felt every single organ inside your body was squeezed. he continued his torture for a while. soon, your body felt exhausted. 

the torture felt like hours to you. your father had finally released you. he leans down to look at you in the eyes on the floor. 

“taint the family name ever again and consider yourself dead.” he said in a menacing voice before leaving the classroom, your mother trailing behind. 

you quickly stood from the floor, not wanting your professor to see you like this. you put your hair up in a quick and neat ponytail before walking out the classroom. as you walked out, you see the potions professor waiting outside the classroom for you to leave. 

you walked slowly, ribs still hurting. you made eye contact with him and quickly looked down, not wanting to look him in the eyes longer, afraid that he will read you. 

“i hope you had your fun complaining to your parents, emrys. just you wait, i will make your last year more unbearable.” he says to you, walking fast to the classroom, his shoulder purposely bumping into you, hard. you stumbled back, holding back a whine in your throat. 

your face showed discomfort and a tinge of pain which the professor had noticed, but paid no mind as he bumps into you. 

weeks have past and professor snape did not lie when he said he would make your life more unbearable. the day of your torture, you went back to your private dorm, to see draco already sitting on your bed, waiting for you. you spent the rest of the day bawling your eyes out to him as he treats you cuts and bruises.

professor snape has made your life more misarable by constantly giving you detentions, accusing you of things you hadn’t done, which made your parents send you more frequent letters, scolding you for your actions. to them, you were rebelling against them, but you truly did nothing. 

one day during breakfast in the great hall, your fathers owl comes down to the slytherin table, plopping a letter that looked fancy, as usual, wrapped in slytherin colors. your hands shaking as you open the letter, draco rubbing your back as comfort, as he knew what the letter was about. 

it hasn’t been half the year and you have received more than a hundred letters, all wrapped the same, coming from the same owl, the emrys owl. that got severus snape confused. what had you gotten in this time? why did you receive so many letters? he wanted the answers and he knew he would not stop trying until he got the answers. 

as you read the letter, not noticing the potions professors gaze on you, your hands visibly shake on the table. the professor noticed this as he grew a little concerned. your face, usually not showing much emotion, held a tinge of fear. he sees draco whispering in her ear, the professor thought he was comforting her at first, but when she turned to meet the professors gaze, he severus knew that wasn’t the case. 

he stared into your eyes and saw greater emotions laying on it. he saw that your eyes were full of fear, and a little concern. your eyes were teary. you looked away from your professor and leaned to draco’s ears.

“can we leave?” you asked.

draco nodded without a second thought. the both of you stand, draco was holding your hand. unknowingly, you had left the letter on the slytherin table, where you had just sat. the potions professor sees this, and walks there to attempt to discreetly take it. 

-

PART TWO!

TAGLIST

@imonlyherecauseimbored

[59writes]

THE DRAW (PART ONE)

(PART TWO)

if you’re reading this as like an actual fic: first of all I’m sorry. how did you end up here. it’s most definitely 2 am go to bed. this fic was literally made because of a fucking uquiz about “ what kpop boy are you enemies to lovers with”

second of all, ignore any chess mistakes. idk I know legit fuckall about chess, my brother just always bitches about it whenever I want to stop playing because I just have my king left or smth like that because I know I’ve lost. mf reads chess books.

like look: I UNDERSTAND the game and how it works, and the idea that you have to think ahead and plan. but I’m adhd as shit and there’s no such thing as time or planning. ergo, I suck. like I SUCK. I feel like if I applied myself I’d be great but fuck that. I’m a bad chess player and y’all gotta deal.

third: I mention League Of Legends at one point. I’m so cringe yes shut up ok but I’ve been special interest-ing League for several months now and I need to let you know that Josh, y/n, and Jeonghan play a mean jungler/adc/support combo (respectively). I have so many more headcanons typed in my draft or whatever but I know nobody wants to see it so

anyways pls enjoy this train wreck of a fic lol

If you had known playing chess would have led to this bullshit, you never would have started playing in the first place.

You wouldn’t have worked your ass off, wouldn’t have pored through strategy books and watched live-streamed games, wouldn’t have competed for months to become an official grandmaster. Absolutely not. None of that hard work and pride deserved to be wasted on Yoon Jeonghan.

Thanks to your exceptional academics and study habits, as well as your headlining pursuits in chess, private schools crawled to your front door and begged for you to give them money just so they could brag about having you as arm candy. You didn’t care. It was free scholarships, a chance to leave your tiny town, a chance to start anew with people just like you. If you were lucky, they wouldn’t know your fame status, or would be used to the junk by now. Some would probably be even more popular than you.

So you grabbed a paper, scribbled a signature on, and packed your bags.

You had picked an academy for the arts, as logic games apparently counted as one. They figured they could do something with your whimsical essay writing as well, submit you in scholastic contests. It didn’t matter. You were free, and there to play some goddamn chess.

They had a hardcore club there, meeting daily on weekdays and occasionally for casual play on the weekends. Everyone there was excellent, all clever players with quick logic and a competitive edge that you hadn’t seen in a while. It was refreshing, but still not enough of a challenge.

You swept the floor with your classmates, and rose to the top of the club’s rankings within a week.

Of course you lost games here and there, as everyone did, but for the most part any game you began was imbalanced from the beginning. Your opponent could at best only defend themselves, only able to pick off pawns or bait bishops that inevitably ended in a brutal checkmate.

You were top of the class, and for once it took some effort. You felt like you’d earned something, and you were actually interacting with serious chess players who wanted to learn, not fawn over your work. They played fair and every game was fun.

That was until the blond bitch came in.

He sauntered into the class about a month after you’d hit the top of the leaderboard, long blond hair tied back in a neat and slick ponytail. You barely noticed, immersed in a game with another boy, Joshua. You studied the board as your opponent looked up, grinning wildly.

“Jeonghan!” He called out, waving at the other boy.

Jeonghan’s ponytail whipped across his shoulder as he turned, matching Josh’s smile with a killer beam of his own and jogging over.

“‘Shua!” He chirped, playfully wrapping an arm around Joshua’s neck, strangling him while his other hand smooshed Josh’s hair around.

You watched them wrestle for a second before clearing your throat. “Josh, your move.”

“Aw shit.” Josh says, wrestling Jeonghan’s arm away from his shoulder. “Back to the ass kicking.”

You grin. “If you hadn’t made that dumb move literally third turn in-“

“Hey! We are NOT talking about that!”

You snort and glance at Jeonghan, who’s gone quiet, studying the board. He crouches down and whispers in Josh’s ear, both of them scanning the board. Josh finally nods, pushing one of his pawns forward.

“What was that about, Hong?” You ask, capturing said pawn with a neat L from your knight.

“Nothing.” He replies sweetly, while Jeonghan smirks.

“Sure it wasn’t.”

Josh doesn’t reply. The rest of the game is tensely quiet, interrupted only by Jeonghan murmuring into Joshua’s ear every few minutes, a devil on his shoulder.

But it was fine, you were ahead by a few pieces, your bishops slowly inching towards a checkmate. The next move was it, the game in the bag.

And then your queen is gone.

Jeonghan takes the liberty of removing it from the board with a proud smile while Joshua cackles.

The game doesn’t last much longer, soon the both of you down to just pawns and your king, and then just the kings. A draw.

And let’s be honest here: Joshua kinda sucks at chess.

Josh counted it as a victory, though, hitting Jeonghan with a high five that echoed around the classroom like a firecracker. The boys talked briefly while you set up the board again for the next duo and packed your bag, ready to head to your dorm for a much-needed nap.

You wave to Joshua and turn to go, only making it a few steps before someone grabs your wrist. You whip around, ready to tell them off, only to be met with Jeonghan interrupting whatever swear you were about to say with a sharp smile.

“I’m playing you on Monday.”

He lets go of your wrist and turns around, resuming his talk with Josh as if nothing happened.

Rubbing your wrists ruefully, you headed home.

•••

Of course, his bullshit didn’t stop there.

You did, in fact, play him on Monday. He had you cornered within five minutes.

The next time, in four.

He gathered a crowd a few games in. Every time you’d meet his gaze he’d smirk, eyes brimming with some sort of superiority that made you furious, always endlessly cool and calm. He’d flick his hair over his shoulder every so often, even stopping to talk to spectators while you puzzled over the board, trying to hide your stress.

You were second place by Wednesday.

•••

“You cheated.”

Jeonghan just raises a brow.

“Put the rook back.” You growl, firm.

“Sorry?” He ignores your request, instead poking at one of your previously captured pawns he has resting on the table next to him. “Can you move? I’ve almost got checkmate.”

“My rook, Yoon.” You hold out your hand. “Give it back, or put it back yourself. H6.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you resign? If we were using a timer you’d have been disqualified sometime last week.”

It’s taking every ounce of self control to not slap the living shit out of the smug bastard. “Jeonghan, if you don’t-“

“How’s the game going here?” The chess club leader had made her way to your table, grinning widely upon seeing her favorite students.

Jeonghan smiles kindly at her while you curl in on yourself, trying not to explode. “It’s fine, Ms. Lee. Almost done with this one.”

“Are you missing a piece? Looks like the black rook-“

“Must have fallen off the table.” Jeonghan chirps, ducking under the table and returning with the piece in hand. He sets it with the rest of his captured black army, sending a thumbs up at Ms. Lee. “Thanks for noticing, we don’t need to lose any more pieces.” It’s an innocent sentence, but it makes you turn a boiling red. Lose a piece, my ass.

“Well played, both of you.” She replies, patting Jeonghan on the head fondly before walking off. The blond rolls his eyes, ducking his head so Ms. Lee can’t see.

“Jeonghan, you asshole.” You hiss as soon as Ms. Lee is out of earshot. “I saw you take it out of your pocket, you lying-“

“If you’re not moving, I’m going to.” Jeonghan replies, moving his bishop forward to capture your queen. “Checkmate. Good game.”

You can only gape as he grabs your hand to shake it and walks off, approaching Joshua.

That was when you really knew you hated him.

•••

You studied his games from then on, partially to learn, partially to gather evidence. If he was cheating this consistently with other players, you could definitely get him kicked out of the club and subsequently your life once competition season started, as well as learn and potentially steal his strategies.

Infuriatingly, though, every single game he played besides the hellish ones with you were completely fair. No pieces being slipped into his thin hands when nobody was looking, no clock taps that discreetly took a few seconds from his opponent’s timer. Even with Josh, who he was best buddies with: not even a joking steal or a prank of any kind.

It was just with you.

Every single game you played together, he managed to do something to piss you off, if not blatantly cheat. If it was one of the days you had spectators, his harassment would come in the form of heavy looks and obnoxious “I’m waiting”-esque moves: tapping his nails on the desk, raising a brow, checking his watch.

And if you were alone, you basically had to glue your pieces down to the board to stop them from slipping their way into his pockets. It was obvious when he did it, too, always sending you a smile, too innocent.

It was infuriatingly adorable how proud he was of his nasty behavior. And he was focused too: none of his other opponents got the thought and effort he put into outwitting you and attempting to steal things without you noticing. As much as you hated him, you had to admire it.

Which is why it was so hard to finally draw a line and refuse to play with him anymore.

Though he shrugged when you put your foot down, his dark eyes watched you the rest of that club session. Every time you caught him, he held your gaze for a moment before looking away and resuming cheerfully animated conversation with his opponent.

God, how was he so easily likeable?

He respected your decision, though, and didn’t even attempt to talk to you. It was genuinely polar and strange, and it made you lost in thought as the months passed.

You almost missed the absence of anger, as stupid as it was. School had always been boring and simple, and chess with Jeonghan was the only thing to have made you frustrated in a long time, to have truly challenged you in a long time.

Even when you buckled down on trying to get him out of your head, he seemed to follow- being friends with Joshua (and honestly most of the other club members) almost always devolved into chats about the club and “why aren’t you playing Jeonghan anymore?”. Josh often suggested playing video games with the two of them, and you had to refuse (although playing League with Josh was so fun).

It was lonely.

Stupid Jeonghan.

•••

Finally, tournament season started.

Following (what was apparently) club tradition, the entire team dyed their hair between practices. You settled with a simple streak of blue that was stolen from Josh (he went completely teal, the madman).

The next day, Jeonghan came to practice with his blond ponytail gone, replaced by a dark brown undercut, hair bluntly chopped to end around his jaw.

Unfortunately, it suited him.

He saved a blond spot for a bit of Josh’s blue, however, and Josh dyed it for him in the middle of the clubroom, laughing the whole time. They’d planned it, clearly, as you were pretty sure Josh didn’t just carry around dye in his backpack.

Which means he knew you two would match when he did your hair.

It was confirmed by an apologetic shrug when you cornered him while he threw away the dye-stained gloves.

“Give him a chance, please y/n?”

“Hong Jisoo. You know how I feel about that dumbass-“

“y/n-“

“Why are you so insistent on having us talk again? He’s a two-faced-“

“y/n, you’d like him. He’s funny, and genuinely nice. I don’t know why he was acting like that with you, but that was almost three months ago. Give him a chance.”

“You should be glad I like you, you stupid fucking rat.”

Josh laughs as you walk away, fuming.

Unfortunately, you did like that stupid fucking rat, and so when he offered dinner after an out-of-state tournament (he pinky swore he’d pay) you finally gave in.

Jeonghan coming?

lol yea

that ok?

not rlly

I’ll give him a chance tho

:D thank u

you owe me

I’m buying ur food :(

josh we r literally getting fast food

you owe me

lol k >:)

[vannahfanfics]

The Sacred Art of Hamburger-Making

Category: General Fluff

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Momo Yaoyorozu, Denki Kaminari, & Hanta Sero

Hey, hey, everybody! This is the second story I wrote for @cuizineco​’s Heroes in the Baking zine, which is free to download!

Momo hummed under her breath as she filed her nails, sitting between Hanta and Denki on the common room sofa. The air was filled with clacking and clicking as the two boys feverishly jabbed the buttons and spun the joysticks on their controllers; both of their eyes were fixed on the martial arts video game they were embroiled in. Momo enjoyed the rare instances where they came down to the common room to play; she found something about their competitive energy so invigorating, especially after a hard day’s training. 

Just as she had finished buffing her shiny, neatly-trimmed nails, a deep voice boomed from the television to announce with dramatic fervor, “Fatality!” while thick red blood splattered the word across the screen. Hanta jumped up from the couch with a triumphant crow, nearly flinging the controller as he flung his hands into the air, while the defeated Denki melted into the couch cushions with a groan. 

“Don’t worry, Denki. You’ll beat him next time,” Momo encouraged with a sweet smile. 

“No, he won’t, because he’s a loserrrrr!” Hanta teased while making an L-shape on his forehead with his fingers. Denki stuck out his tongue angrily to his friend before humming thoughtfully. 

“Man, we’ve been playing for hours. I’m starving… You know what I could go for right now? A big, greasy, cheesy, American-style hamburger,” he sighed dreamily, salivating at the words alone. Momo perked up, her interest piqued. 

“Oh, I’ve never had a hamburger before.” 

If they were on a comedy show, one would have heard a record scratch. Denki’s head whipped around to stare at her with owlish eyes for a second before he chuckled magnanimously and slipped his arm around her slim shoulders, his expression melting into one a mixture of pity and mischievousness. 

“Momo. Dear. Honey. You’ve never had a hamburger?” the blond asked in a polite but disbelieving voice. Unsure what all the fuss was about, Momo slowly shook her head. 

“Now that’s what I call a got-damn tragedy,” Hanta observed before shoving a handful of potato chips into his mouth. As he munched on the barbecue-flavored crisps, crumbs and powder raining from his lips down onto his tee-shirt, he looked at Denki pointedly. “We have to amend that, don’t we, Denks?” 

“We most certainly do,” the blond nodded sagely, pinching his chin and closing his eyes like the picture of a pensive philosopher. “We cannot allow Momo here, our dear friend, our beloved classmate and light of our bleak lives, to remain in such a sorry state. So… To the kitchen!” he announced and jumped up, pointing a finger into the air. “By our hand, we will allow Momo to suffer no longer!” 

Are hamburgers really that good? Momo wondered as she followed the two boys to the adjoining kitchen. They probably weren’t, but watching the two tear through the cabinets and refrigerator to gather all the necessary tools and ingredients was so energizing that Momo found herself growing excited. She’d never seen Denki so animated about cooking before; he was all smiles as he pranced around wearing a “Kiss the Cook” apron of All Might in a chef’s hat, so she couldn’t refuse him even if she wanted to. 

“All right, Chef Denki,” Momo chuckled as she tied an apple-patterned apron around her waist, “I’m under your tutelage tonight.” 

“It’s the only thing he’ll ever tutor you in,” Hanta joked, earning a sharp jab in the ribs from his cohort. 

“Anyway,” Denki said and cleared his throat, “pay close attention, Momo. I am going to teach you the sacred art of making hamburgers. First, we have to make the patties.” He took a few packs of ground meat and sliced open the plastic, dumping the stringy pink-red meat into a large aluminum bowl. 

“Everyone says they’re down with hamburgers tonight,” Hanta reported, sitting on the counter typing away at his phone. 

“Let’s see— with twenty people plus Mr. Aizawa, with an average of two burgers a person, that would be… forty patties,” he rattled off, using his fingers to count as he multiplied in his head. “We should be able to manage that between the three of us. Hanta, would you go ahead and plug in the mini-grill so it’ll be heated up?” 

“Sure thing, boss.” 

Denki returned his attention to the patiently-waiting Momo. 

“Now then. First, you want to make sure your patties are the right consistency, so you mix it with bread crumbs.” Momo watched with raised eyebrows as he took a box of them and dumped some into the bowl. “You want your patties to stick together, obviously, so you add eggs—” he continued as he cracked some open, spilling the golden yolks into the bowl— “and then milk to soften up the meat a little. Finally— and this is the most important part, Momo— you season it to perfection!” 

Momo watched in wonder as he added several spices and a dark brown sauce to the mix, saturating the meat in flavor, without even taking measurements. As he was telling her how to mix it up, scrunching the meat and other ingredients together with his hands, she smiled endearingly. 

“Wow, you’ve cooked this a lot, huh?” 

“Yup! Me and my folks took an overseas trip once to America when I was young, and we loved the hamburgers so much that we got a recipe from one of the locals! It became a staple in my household! Fast food burgers are nice n’ all, but nothing really compares to a good ol’ beefy homemade burger!” Denki grinned widely. 

“I think that’s great! Would you like me to get started on another bowl of ground beef, then?” 

“Yes, please!” 

Under Denki’s careful guidance, Momo added the ingredients one at a time to the bowl. When it came time to combine them, she squealed at the odd sensation of the sticky, gooey meat, fluid sauce and egg, and gritty powder squishing between her fingers. Denki laughed heartily at the disgusted faces she made while mixing up the ground beef, squeaking and shuddering all the while, until it was uniform. In the background, Hanta had been doing other small tasks like chopping lettuce and onions, slicing tomatoes and cheese, and setting out condiments. He finally joined them at the counter, wiping tomato juice off his hands with a dishtowel. 

“It’s a messy job,” Denki said as he grabbed a fistful of the meat, “but we’re not done yet! Now it’s time to make the patties.” 

“Ooh! My favorite part!” Hanta grinned, grabbing hamburger meat from Momo’s bowl with both hands. “Ya just roll it into a ball, then flatten it into a nice, round patty,” he said while demonstrating the motions. He then walked over to the simmering grill to plop it on the ridged surface. “Then ya grill it until it’s just right, and boom! Nice, tasty, juicy hamburger.” 

“Hanta, have you been to America, too?” Momo inquired as she slowly replicated the motion, still cringing at the sliminess of the raw meat. 

“Nah. I spent a lot of summer break at Denki’s house, though, and his old man taught me how to make ‘em!” Hanta said as he slapped another patty onto the small grill and closed the lid, filling the air with sizzling and popping. While he waited for the meat to brown, he leaned against the counter and flashed Momo a wink. “I felt kinda honored being included in the Kaminari family tradition of summer cook-outs!” 

“You’re my best friend! Of course you would be!” Denki grinned, sauntering over to bump elbows with Hanta. “And, since Momo is our best girl,” he continued while turning around to wink saucily at Momo, “it’s natural that she be included, too!” 

“Ah! Stop it; you’re going to make me blush!” Momo cried and, in her momentary embarrassment, slapped her palms to her cheeks. All the blood drained from her face as she realized she was smooshing raw meat and seasoning on her face. She screamed shrilly and ripped her hands away from her face, horrified by the bits of pulverized meat falling from her cheeks. As she raced to the sink, Hanta and Denki fell to the floor howling with laughter. “Stop it! It’s not funny!” she cried as she scraped at her face with a soapy sponge, tossing a glare over her shoulder. 

“Actually, it really is, Yaomomo,” Denki snorted as he climbed back up to resume making hamburger patties. Momo just sniffed dourly, thoroughly embarrassed. Then, an evil idea hatched in her mind; stealthily, she filled her cupped hands with ice-cold water and crept up behind Denki. Just as he took notice of her presence, she dumped it down the neck of his shirt. He yelped and his back arched backward as the cold liquid hit his skin. 

“Aye, aye, what the hell was that for?!” 

“Serves you right!” Hanta laughed, pointing at him and completely unaware that he was the next in Momo’s cross-hairs. “Wha—?” he blinked owlishly as Momo flung a glob of the raw meat at him; it collided with his cheek with a wet slap, slowly sliding down before landing on his tennis shoe. “I guess I deserved that.” 

“Hey, you morons! Don’t tell me you’re messing around in the kitchen!” boomed a grouchy voice. Momo turned to see Katsuki stomping in, his hands buried in his cargo pants pockets and his lips stretched in a scowl. His vermillion eyes slowly slid down to the chunk of meat dripping on Hanta’s shoe. “What the hell?! You can’t just waste food like that! Who taught you losers to cook?!” 

“Oi! This is my show! Go yell at someone else, Baku-bro!” Denki whined and poked at Katsuki with his foot as he continued to quickly pile up patties on aluminum foil next to Hanta, who returned from cleaning off his face to take the broiled hamburgers off the grill and put them on some buns. Katsuki slapped Denki’s foot away but obediently shambled out of the kitchen to join the rest of their peers, who had been attracted by the savory aroma now clouding the air. 

“All right, the guest of honor gets to try first,” Hanta grinned as he presented Momo with a fully dressed hamburger complete with a side of potato chips. As she took the paper plate, she was amazed at the weight of the thing, nearly spilling it all as she hastily recovered from the plate dipping. She set it safely on the counter before looking at it, wondering how the heck to eat it. 

“I… With my hands…?” 

“Hell yeah, girl! Get in there!” Denki encouraged with an airy laugh. Momo blushed before timidly grabbing the hamburger, grimacing at the juice that leaked onto her fingers when she lightly squeezed it. She craned her neck over the plate as she leaned in for a bite, trying not to drip it all over her clothes. First came the soft bread, then crunchy lettuce and tomato, then melty cheese, and then finally the savory meat. Momo hummed as the robust flavor exploded on her tongue, complemented by all the toppings. 

“Well? Amazing or what?” Denki grinned as he sidled up to her, wiggling his golden eyebrows expectantly. Too busy savoring the symphony of flavors on her tongue, Momo only nodded with her eyes fluttering shut. “Woohoo! Atta girl! Look at our Momo, getting messy with a big ol’ hamburger!” Denki laughed as he did a celebratory jig. 

“Ehhh? Did I hear Momo eating hamburgers?” Mina said as she poked her head in. Momo was mid-bite, her mouth stretching wide to accommodate the thick patty, and she froze to blink owlishly at the pink girl. “Ahhhh! Look how far you’ve come! Finally embracing the ways of us commoners, eh?” 

Instead of replying, Momo just crunched down on the burger, smiling dreamily as the deliciousness once again graced her senses. 

She had the answer to her question. Hamburgers were really that good! While the others began to file into the kitchen to claim their meals from Denki and Hanta, Momo savored hers bite by bite until she was finished. When she sheepishly presented her plate to Denki for seconds, he laughed and began fixing it for her. The others had vacated the premises, leaving only the two of them. 

“Thanks for sharing this with me, Denki. I had a lot of fun, and it was really good!” she said as he plopped a piece of pale green lettuce atop her patty. 

“To be honest, I was a little scared you wouldn’t enjoy it,” he admitted shyly, giving her a side glance as she gasped in shock. “I know you come from a really wealthy family, Momo, and generally… Rich folks don’t think highly of us little guys, you know?” 

“I know.” Though Momo’s family was kind and tolerant, that still didn’t mean that she hadn’t seen the uglier side of the bourgeoisie. With a soft smile, she wrung her arms around Denki’s waist and laid her head on his shoulder to squeeze him in a tight hug. “But I consider myself lucky! You guys teach me all kinds of neat and wonderful things, and I get to share things about my life with you all, too. I would never, ever judge you.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Denki hummed and gently bonked his head with hers. “Here you go, Momo. I hope you enjoy your seconds.” 

“Thanks,” she said as she took the plate. She then grinned roguishly. “To be honest, I might be up for thirds.” 

Like the hearty scent of homemade hamburgers wafting around the small kitchen, her and Denki’s laughter filled the air. 

Nope. In Momo’s book, nothing really did compare to one of Denki’s hamburgers, and it soon became one of her favorite things to cook with her friends, even out of all the things she learned from them.

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[glitchh3d]

||Helping to Forget|| ~ Halloween pt.2

Not proof read. Kinda short. Whatever. 

Also in a previous post I said Kiyoko and Yachi were dating. That’s changed. 

Masterlist

CONT. of HALLOWEEN NIGHT

Kait rubbed (Y/n)’s back soothingly as she cried into her shoulder. Suna, Kita and Osamu stood back a few steps watching with pity as they listened to the choked and broken sobs coming from the girl they didn’t know.

“(Y/n), come on… It’s cold and you’re in a tiny dress. Take my jacket,” (Y/n) pulled herself away from her friend and shook her head, wiping away her tears. 

“No, take mine, (Y/n). I have a sweatshirt on anyways,” Suna said, stopping forward, shrugging off his jacket. He draped it over (Y/n)’s shoulders and smiled smally at her. “I’m ah- I’m Suna, by the way.” 

(Y/n) smiled appreciatively at him and pulled it closer around her body as a shiver ran through her body. “Thank you,” She whispered and he nodded, stepping back again. 

“I’m sorry to hear what happened tonight, (Y/n). My name is Kita Shinsuke, by the way. And this is-” 

“Osamu. Pleasure to finally meet you, (Y/n).” Osamu smirked at her and her eyebrows furrowed. He looked familiar but it was too dark to tell who he was. She’d heard the name somewhere before, she just didn’t know where and she was too upset to care right now. 

“Hi. Thank you for coming to get me… Do you think I can stay with you guys until I can… Until I can figure out what I’m going to do?” 

Kita nodded and Kait linked her arm with (Y/n)’s. “Of course. Do we need to go anywhere to grab your stuff?” 

(Y/n) shook her head as her lip quivered. 

“N-no. We’re supposed to spend the night at Semi’s house a-and all my stuff is packed in a bag with T-Teru’s.” Kait nodded and they began walking towards the car. Kita got in the driver spot, Osamu in the passenger seat, and Suna, Kait and (Y/n) smooshed into the back seat. (Y/n) sat in the middle, leaning her head on Kait’s shoulder as the older woman gently stroked her hair. 

“It’s okay, dove. It’s okay, you can cry.” (Y/n) sniffled again and the car was quiet as Kita drove. The only thing to be heard was the soft sniffles (Y/n) made as she cried into Kait’s arm. 

Suna and Kait made direct eye contact over (Y/n)’s head and Kait smiled gently. Suna nodded back and turned to look out the window, not wanting to get into whatever the hell had just happened. 

__________________

Terushima sat on the bed in Kuroo and Kenma’s bedroom, staring at his phone. He wanted to have fun and party but when his girlfriend just up and disappeared without telling anyone where she was going, it was hard. 

Did something happen? Did someone say something to her? Did she not feel good? If she’d only told him, they both could have gone back to Semi’s and rested. He’d gladly give up a night of partying to hang out with his favorite girl and she knew that.

So why did she just run away from whatever happened without saying anything? What did her text to “just leave her alone” mean. Did he do something wrong? 

“Hey, (Y/n) texted me back. Did she text you?” Oikawa asked as he entered the room. Terushima looked up with wide eyes and he nodded, holding his phone up to show Oikawa the screen. 

“Yeah, told me to leave her alone and that she just wants to sleep. She’s also with Kait, so I don’t know…” Terushima explained pathetically. Oikawa sat on the bed next to him, leaning back and staring at the ceiling. 

“Well, did you try calling or texting Kait?” Oikawa asked Terushima shook his head no. “You dumbass, try calling her and see if she knows what happened.” 

“I don’t have her number… But Atsumu can get it! He went to the same high school as her!” Terushima said, perking up. He was going to get to the bottom of whatever happened. 

“Good. No go take care of shit. Because (Y/n) is sad and if it’s your fault, I will hang you upside down from a flagpole by your balls. Understood?” Terushima nodded at his words and hurried out of the room and towards where he’d left Atsumu, Taichi, and Futakuchi. 

“Yo! Bro! Find her?” Atsumu asked and Terushima nodded. “Where is she?” 

“She’s with Kait. And (Y/n) was telling me that Kait is at a party with Kita. And-” 

“No shit? ‘Samu is at Kita’s place too.” 

“Perfect! Get me Kait’s number, please!” 

Atsumu nodded and pulled out his phone, texting his twin brother asking for Kait’s contact information. A text came through a few seconds later and Atsumu turned his phone screen for Terushima to see. 

He grinned and thanked Atsumu Osamu (who couldn’t hear him) and quickly saved Kait’s number to his phone. 

“Fuck!” Terushima swore loudly, slamming his phone on the counter behind him. Everyone stared with wide eyes at him. “What the fuck did I do?” 

“What did Kait say?” Atsumu asked, sipping from his beer. 

“She said to rethink everything I did tonight… which wasn’t much.” 

“Well, why don’t you list it off and we’ll try and help you?” Hanamaki said and Terushima nodded in agreement, thinking his night through. 

“So, first… we went to Semi’s house and got ready, and (Y/n) and I were fine. Then we came here and she was dragged away by Kuroo to go see the Seijoh guys, then I came in to grab a drink, I got a little carried away after promising to go back to see her, then I got caught up taking shots with Suga, Tanaka, and Noya on the dance floor, and then-” Terushima froze, his mind replaying when he was with the ex-Karasuno players. 

He remembers Tanaka and him downed a shot together, then another, and another, and as Tanaka began pouring another one…

Flashback “Yo I could kiss this man right now,” Terushima laughed as Tanaka poured him another shot. Noya was bouncing next to him excitedly as he watched. Asahi had told him no more drinking for at least a half hour so he was enjoying Terushima and Tanaka destroying their livers. 

“Do it! Do it!” 

“Do it! Do it! Do it!” The crowd around them cheered for him to kiss Tanaka. He laughed and soon enough, Tanaka was grabbing him by the back of the next and yanking him down into a quick, 2 second kiss. 

They pulled away laughing and Terushima wiped his lips off to get the feeling of the plasticy feeling blonde hair of Tanaka’s wig off. Kiyoko, Tanaka’s girlfriend, rolled her eyes with a small smile and then wandered off to go talk to Yachi and her girlfriend Keiko who were both dressed as pirates. 

Terushima looked around the room, trying to find his friends and he caught a glimpse of (Y/n)’s blue dress disappearing out the front door. 

He shrugged, thinking she was just getting some fresh air and then returned to dancing with his new friends.  End Flashback

“Oh fuck,” He swore, grabbing his phone off the counter. “Where’s Kita live? I need to go talk to (Y/n).” 

“Wait? What happened?” Matsukawa asked as Terushima scrambled for his things. 

“I think (Y/n) saw me kiss Tanaka. But he’s wearing a girl wig and-” 

“Oh you fucking moron,” Iwaizumi said as he stood up from where he was leaning against the counter. Terushima’s eyes widened and he took a step back. 

“She thinks you cheated on her?” Hanamaki asked and Terushima nodded. 

“I didn’t though! She mistook Tanaka for a girl and she took off before I could see her or talk to her and I swear this is just a big misunderstanding!” Oikawa blinked at him, unimpressed. 

“I can’t believe you! You made her cry! You goddamn asshole! I swear I’m gonna-” 

“Now now, Iwa-chan. Let’s give him a chance to fix his problem before we resort to beating the shit out of him, yeah?” Oikawa said, moving his arm in front of Iwaizumi’s chest to hold him back as he stared at Terushima with a cold, hard look. 

“I swear I just need to get to wherever Kita lives so I can clear things up with her and it’ll be fine! Who here is sober and has a car?” Terushima asked. Kuroo perked up. 

“Akaashi is sober! And he lives here so his car is here!” 

“Great! Where is he? I need a ride.” 

__________________

“Am I not good enough?” (Y/n) asked as she and Kait cuddled on Kita’s couch. Suna and Osamu were sitting across from them on the floor and Kita was making her tea. There were some other guys that Kita was friends with there before but they’d left when they had returned to the house to give more privacy. 

“No, don’t say that, (Y/n). Terushima is just… a jerk.” 

“He kissed someone else right in front of me. He didn’t even hesitate.” 

“He kissed someone else right in front of you?” Osamu asked and (Y/n) nodded. Despite not knowing Suna, Kita, or Osamu for more than a half hour, she felt oddly safe around them. She had also found out that Osamu was Atsumu’s twin brother. “The better twin” he claimed. 

“Here you go, (Y/n). Kait.” Kita came back holding two mugs of tea. He handed them off and (Y/n) sat up straighter on the couch. 

“Thank you, Kita.” 

“Of course. You’re our friend now. And we help friends.” 

She smiled and sipped on her tea watching as the boys got back into their banter with each other, sometimes dragging Kait into it and making fun of her. She rolled her eyes and teased them right back and (Y/n) smiled fondly. 

“-not my fault you ran naked across the baseball field back when you were a third year.” (Y/n) snapped out of her daze as she heard that. 

“Who did that?” 

“Shut up, boys.” Kait snapped, her face red. “Nothing (Y/n). No one did anything.” 

“Nah, not true. Kait here streaked across the baseball field after her ex-boyfriend broke up with her to “feel something.”” Osamu explained making (Y/n) snort and turn to her friend. Kait rolled her eyes and flipped Osamu off. 

“Okay, not my best moment, I’ll admit. But it did make for a damn good yearbook memory.” Kait said, making everyone laugh. 

The conversation carried on, (Y/n) chiming in every once in a while but she mostly just listened. She finished her tea and set it on the table before leaning back into the couch, pulling Suna’s jacket closer around her body to stay warm.

“Oh, remember that one time Osamu and Atsumu-” Loud knocking on the door cut Kait off and everyone turned to stare at the front door.

“I got it,” Kita said, standing up and walking over to it. He opened it with a confused look on his face and then his eyes widened as he was shoved to the side and Terushima rushed in. 

“Where is she?” He asked. (Y/n)’s eyes widened and she stood up quickly. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She asked. Terushima eyed the jacket she was wearing suspiciously but ignored it as he rushed around the couch and pulled her into a hug. 

“Dude, who the fuck are you?” Osamu asked as he and Suna stood up. He fell silent though as Atsumu waltzed through the door. 

“Hey.” Atsumu waved. 

Suna, Kita, and Osamu stared at him in confusion before putting the pieces together and realizing that Terushima was in fact, the boyfriend that kissed someone else in front of her. 

“(Y/n), I promise whatever you saw, wasn’t what it looked like. I love you. I’m with you for a reason. I did kiss another person,” (Y/n) opened her mouth to talk. “No, shh. Listen to me, please. I kissed Tanaka. He played for Karasuno back in highschool. He was dressed as Regina George and that’s why it looked like I kissed a girl.” (Y/n) narrowed her eyes at him, all sadness gone, replaced by anger. 

“You still kissed someone else,” She said and he nodded. 

“I know, I know baby. But you know what they say? Bros before hoes and I promise I’ll always choose you over any of those hoes. The kiss was a joke and I promise, PROMISE, it won’t happen again. I love you so much. Please don’t break up with me.” Terushima was clutching her wrists. She sighed and nodded. 

“I love you too, moron. Just… don’t kiss dudes in wigs anymore. Please. I… I’m still upset but we’ll talk,” She glanced around the room. “In private tomorrow when we get home, okay?” He nodded and pulled her into a hug, burying his face in her hair. 

“Fuck, I love you.” 

“I love you too, stop saying that.” 

“But I love you so damn much. And who the fucks jacket is this? Here, take it off, take mine.”

ah

yes

they’re not fixed yet. Semi has some words. Just wait. 

UMMMMMM ILY BYE! 

Taglist: @kaitycole, @cosmicmermaid25, @sempiternal-amour, @99astrid, @hidden-otaku-stuff, @vicassa, @elianetsantana, @ankl3s, @newfriendjen, @oikawa-simp, @dakotacecily, @axolotleyeliner, @heyyourecute, @tchalameme, @toobsessedsstuff, @marinovakovich, @disaster-rose, @tacosforexo, @sleep3deprived, @prettyinblack231

[galaxina-the-pyro]

Idk if somebody already asked but you just haven’t answered yet? But what about Phineas (for the character ask thing, unless that’s closed now?)

OH YAS! I’m game for that! :D (I’m always open for these kinds of asks, because not many people ask anyway and they’re lots of fun, lol)

1. Sexuality Headcanon: Either he’s straight or he’s demisexual. Both make complete sense to me - I’m actually leaning more towards the demisexual bit, because while Isabella has technically shown signs of having feelings for another character (The Beak, though that ended up being Phineas and Ferb [ she was talking to Phineas the whole time, though, so...yeah...]), Phineas has never shown romantic interest in another character outside of Isabella (though one could say that technically this interest doesn’t occur until “Act Your Age”, but a lot of moments in the show tell me otherwise).

2. OTP: Phinabella, because that is the cutest, most wholesomest, sweetest, bestest ship there is, it’s my pride and joy and I will love it forever and ever and ever and I just love those two together, they’re such great friends and they’re so cute together and-

3. brotp: Phineas and Ferb. They be bros for life. I also love his dynamic with the rest of the gang, too, I swear they’re the best part of the show for me aside from Dr. D. But seriously, I needed more Phineas and Ferb episodes showcasing the bond of the bros, cmon. (Also, like, not to rant more about Phinabella, but even their platonic friendship is just the most cutest thing in the universe, I cannot even)

4. NOTP: So I already said Phinerb and Phindace - but you wanna know a ship I hate JUST as much? Doophin. Why? WHY would you take two of my favorite characters and smoosh them together in such an unholy abomination? Just. Why? Doofenshmirtz would never groom a child, he’s too fatherly to literally anyone smaller than him (and even NORM at times), that ship’s existence is an egregious insult to his character. (Wait...isn’t this supposed to be about Phineas?)

5. First Headcanon That Pops Into My Head: Phineas is a horror movie junkie, and is absolutely enthralled with creepy macabre stuff. Which is totally out on a left field for people who don’t know how as well as his friends or family, because he’s such a sweet squishy boy on the outside. And he is on the inside...but with a dark side. (He sucks at telling scary stories though, he’s too pure even for his horror loving soul to break through)

6. Favorite Line From the Character: “Anyone else around here leading a bizarre double life...put your hand down Ferb.” (Phineas is a cornucopia of good lines, omg)

7. One Way In Which I Relate To This Character: I can be REALLY oblivious to obvious situations, and can miss social cues as a result (only MY THING is due to social awkwardness, while his is because he’s a precious bean).

8. Thing That Give Me Second Hand Embarrassment About This Character: I actually don’t mind Phineas’ oblivious behavior, and find it charming and hilarious (if anything, I find people blaming him for his oblivious behavior to be more...cringy? But that’s opinion, and I honestly don’t blame anyone for being frustrated) - I just...don’t buy that he’d wait ten years to figure it out? He’s oblivious, not stupid. I also didn’t like how his anger was handled in “Mission Marvel”, but I hate almost everything about that episode so that’s too easy.

9. Cinnamon Roll or Problematic Fave?: I’m not even gonna acknowledge the second half of that question, we all know Phineas is the pure embodiment of the phrase “cinnamon roll” (except when he’s manipulating Bobby Fabulous into helping with his parents’ anniversary, and there’s also that love of horror thing so yeah, but that might actually add to him being a cinnamon roll all things considered)

[plus-size-reader]

Sixteen

Young!Derek Hale x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1618 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Stiles has to find somewhere to keep young!Derek until they can find out what exactly happened to him and there is only one place in the world that he can think of. 

———————————————————————————————————

Stiles was at a loss.

He had a sixteen year old Derek in the passenger seat of his jeep and he had to find somewhere to take him.

As of right now, they had no idea how to fix him and the last thing they needed was for Derek to be running loose all over Beacon hills.

...And so far Stiles only had one idea.

He had to take Derek somewhere he would want to stay, with someone he was comfortable with. The only problem was that most of the people that Derek knew when he was sixteen were dead now. There were very few people that he was close with at that time, but then it hit him. There was one person that he had always been close to, that was not only in Beacon hills, but would be more than happy to help with the current predicament.  

“Hold tight, I know just where to go” he allowed, focusing his eyes on the road for the only destination he knew he would be welcome this late at night.

You had been Stiles’ favorite teacher since he was a freshman in high school. Which was shocking, mostly because you taught English which was one of his least favorite classes. Still, once he learned the truth, it all made much more sense.

When Scott became part of the hidden supernatural community of Beacon hills, you were one of the first people to come forward to help him. Other than Derek, you were one of the only mentors that Scott actually had.

And there was a reason for that.

You were human, yes. However, you’d been there through Derek’s entire transition, allowed to partake because Talia knew something that you didn’t. Not only were you Derek’s best friend, but you were also his anchor. Her son had no hope of learning control without your help, so she allowed you to become part of their world.

You helped Derek keep his composure and in exchange, the entire Hale pack kept you alive. There wasn’t a threat in the world that could have touched you, you were completely protected. Peter often joked that you were more well guarded than a priceless gem.

...And he wasn’t wrong.

Derek would have killed anything to protect you. He would have done anything to protect you, no exceptions. That bond, built nearly from your birth, grew with you.

Which was the exact reason that you were Stiles’ only option right now.

No one else would know what to do, and at the very least, Derek was guaranteed to stay calm in your presence, even with you being much older than the last time he remembered seeing you.

~

The knock on your door didn’t startle you all that much, though you were fully prepared for an ambush at all times. The Hale family had quite a few enemies and you weren’t an idiot, though you thought that if someone was going to hurt you, they wouldn’t use the doorbell.

More than anything, you were just hoping for some news on Derek.

He had been missing for days, and while you knew that Scott and the pack were on the case, you couldn’t help but worry.

“Ms.Y/L/N? It’s Stiles” a voice called through the door, letting you know that you were, absolutely, not under any kind of attack. Instead, there was a teenager on your doorstep and knowing Stiles, it could be anything.

You let out an unintentional sigh of relief when you opened the door, desperately hoping that Stiles had some news about where Derek was.

“Hi Stiles, what’s up?” you wondered, tightening your robe around your top, though you were completely dressed. You didn’t have to worry about him seeing anything, you just didn’t particularly like your students to see you in your pjs.

Though, at this point, Stiles was a bit closer to you than a typical student.

He just smiled at first, not sure how to break the ice into what he was about to tell you.

“Any news on Derek?” you hummed desperately, your nerves had been fried since he first went missing.

You just wanted him to come home.

At that, Stiles’ smile widened to a more nervous, awkward sort of look as he gestured out to the car. You could hardly make out what he was trying to tell you but even this far away, you knew that whoever was in the car, it wasn’t Derek.

Not your Derek anyway.

“What is that?” you wondered, squinting your eyes to try to confirm or deny what you thought you were seeing.

You recognized the kid sitting in the passenger seat, but it wasn’t possible.

“We found Derek” Stiles allowed, shrugging as if that was somehow enough information for you to just put the pieces together yourself. He should have known better, honestly. Even in class, you would never let Stiles get away with things like that.

In all honesty, you just couldn’t believe what he was insinuating.

Of all the things you’d seen in your life, this had to be the craziest.

“You’re trying to tell me that’s Derek?” you clarified, unsure what the pack had been up to as of late. You really had to stop letting these kids go places on their own. Stiles only nodded, hoping that you’d be able to help him.

You were honestly his only hope at this point.

All you could do was sigh, taking a deep breathe. “Go get him” you suggested, heading inside to go start boiling water. This was going to be a long night and there was no way you were going to entertain a couple of teenage boys without some cinnamon hot cocoa.

It had always been Derek’s favorite, and you were going to need someone to tell you what was going on...in more detail than Stiles gave you in the first place.

You were going to go insane.

Derek had been cute when you were an actual teenager but taking care of him at sixteen as a grown woman wasn’t going to be as cute. You just wanted to cuddle with your Derek, the grown Derek with a beard, and abs, and a necklace with your name on it around his neck.

Being in sixteen year old Derek’s vicinity under these circumstances just made you uncomfortable.

...But knowing that he was still Derek made it a little easier.

You could only imagine how scared and confused he was right now. If you could make it even a little better, you were going to do it.

Besides, no one knew Derek better at that age so maybe it would be easy to bond with him. You just hoped that it was like riding a bike, that you never forgot how to do it.

Your Derek was different now, than he was at sixteen after all.

However, as soon as Stiles came into the kitchen with Derek on his heels, all those nerves melted away. The love that you felt for him then and now was still there, it had just taken a more protective turn as of right now.  

"Oh my god, you're so tiny" you gasped, reaching out to take his face in your hands. It had been so long since you'd seen him like this and you couldn't help it...

He was just so cute.

Derek looked bothered at first until he realized just who you were.

You were much more grown up than he remembered but there was no mistaking it. You were the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. That was never, ever going to change.

"Y/N?" he asked, his words only slightly affected by the smooshing of his face. He could hardly believe what he was seeing, you were so grown up.

All you could do was smile at first, just taking in the moment. It was hard to believe that this was happening.

-But you knew that it was.

You were physically holding him in your hands, smooshing his handsome little face between your fingers. It was the same face you'd held a million times before but it was different at the same time.

He was so little, so young.

"How did he get like this?" you demanded, turning your attention to Stiles though you didn't remove your hands from Derek's face.

Somebody was going to have to start talking real quick because there was nothing in Beacon hills that could do this...at least as far as you knew. Stiles faltered slightly, having your attention turned to him.

This was, partially, his fault after all.

He didn't exactly want to face you all alone. You could be scary when you were angry, and Stiles had always been more wary of you temper than anyone elses, including Derek.

Especially right now.

"Um, we think that Kate did something  in Mexico" he allowed, bracing himself for a scolding.

A scolding that would never come.

Instead, when he opened his eyes-he found a shocked look on your face. You thought that Kate Argent was dead. At least, as far as you knew.

You had seen Peter kill her, you had seen them lower her casket into the ground. There was no way that she could have done this.

Though, when you actually thought about it, it sort of made sense. Kate had always had a thing for Derek, and on top of that, she was a tad bit crazy. If anyone had motive to make Derek sixteen again, it was her.

"Did you just say Mexico?" you wondered, only catching it after the shock of hearing about Kate's resurrection.

With a nod of his head, you made your final decision...the pack was never going anywhere alone again.

[lilacsos]

Denial LH Part One

A/N: Howdy! This is the first thing I’ve written in a hot minute and I actually really like it. Fun fact when I first thought of this I thought of Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds so yeah. All flashbacks are in italics :)

Words: 4330

Pairing: Luke x Gender Neutral Reader

*Warnings*: Mentions of cheating and throwing stuff, I think like one swear word, oh and I named someone Nicole because I needed a name so sorry if that’s your name

Summary: You and Luke are close childhood friends. Despite what Ashton says, you’re just friends, nothing more and nothing less. Right?

Masterlist  Taglist (newest one)  *if you were on any previous taglist please put your info on this one*

“Come on Luke! We can’t be late!” The squeaky voice of a small child shouted as they ran down the sidewalk, running as fast as their short legs could carry them.

Behind them, a young blonde boy rushed to try and keep up. “Don’t leave me behind! We have to stay together; my mom will be very upset if I tell her you left me!” The other person groaned and stopped moving while a triumphant smirk made its way onto Luke’s face. “Besides, it’s also your fault that we’re running late Y/N.”

With a roll of your eyes, you crossed your arms over your chest and tapped your foot on the ground as you waited. “Luke we both stopped to pet the dog but you stopped first and like you said, your mom will be very upset if I left you.” You giggled, your own smirk forming. Once Luke finally caught up, you grabbed the young boy by the wrist and dragged him as you continued to run home. You and your family moved into the house next to Luke only three months ago but the two of you quickly became friends and now walked home from school together. You were only ever late once and the disappointed look from Mrs. Hemmings was enough to make sure you were never late again.

You both kept running and in the distance, you could see your houses. With a look at his watch, Luke slowed down to walk. “We have enough time to walk. Unless you enjoy running.” Luke smiled as you also slowed down, walking in step with him. “What do you think of Mr. Martin’s project?”

“I can’t believe he wants us to write a whole paragraph about what we want to be when we grow up! We’re seven!” You threw your hands up into the air with an exasperated whine. “I don’t know what I wanna be. Do you?”

“Yeah!” Luke’s eyes lit up in the afternoon sun and his lips curved into possibly the biggest smile to ever be seen. He bounced a little as he walked and his hands flew out in front of him as he said, “I’m gonna be a rockstar! I’ll sing and play a guitar and have a really cool band. I’ll be so rich and famous I could buy all of Australia!”

Despite Luke’s contagious excitement, you grew quiet, kicking away a pebble. Luke continued to share his dream as you walked the rest of the way home. As you approached the houses, you could each see Mrs. Hemmings through the kitchen window and the smell of dinner wafted out of the open front door. “Luke,” you began, stopping Luke from walking. “When you’re a famous rockstar, promise you won’t forget me.”

Luke cocked his head to the side but his smile never faded. “Of course I won’t forget you! You’re my best friend in the whole world. I could never forget you.” His arms wrapped around you, tugging you close as he tried to hug the worry out of you. “Hey, maybe you can be my maid.” Luke giggled as he was pushed away.

“Then I would have to clean up after you! I’ll never be your maid!” You squealed and ran to your front door and Luke ran to his.

“You’ll change your mind when you see the paycheck!”

“Hello? Earth to Y/N!” You shook your head as the memory faded and the current world took its place. Luke rolled his eyes and shoved your shoulder, gesturing to the man waiting to take your order.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You mumbled before giving him your order. The other people at the table laughed which only caused you to roll your eyes. “Will you four shut up?” You and Luke were no longer seven like you were in your memory but most things didn’t change. He still told you horrible jokes when you were upset, you still played rock-paper-scissors when you couldn’t decide who got shotgun, and you were still best friends. Just like Luke told you all those years ago, he became a rockstar. He got to sing and play guitar with a ‘really cool’ band. As Luke’s best friend, Michael, Calum, and Ashton easily became your other best friends and you continued to be the number one 5 Seconds of Summer fan. Out of all of them, excluding Luke, you were the closest to Ashton. He was very easy to get along with; his only flaw is that he had this outlandish idea that you were in love with Luke.

“What were you thinking about anyway?” Ashton asked, sipping his coffee. There was a glint in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place. Maybe it was mischief or maybe the morning light was changing things.

“Just when Luke and I were kids and he told me he was going to be a rockstar.”

“And I offered to let you be my maid but you refused my offer.” Luke chuckled and bumped your shoulder again.

Michael snorted and rolled his eyes. “So even as a child Y/N didn’t want to put up with your bullshit.” The table erupted with laughs and Luke’s arm wrapped around your shoulder, tugging you close to his chest as he smooshed your cheeks together between his fingers. You giggled and jabbed your fingers into his sides, causing him to squeal and let you go. Luke continued to giggle and the sound made your heart warm. His laugh was easily your favorite sound in the world. If you ever had a horrible day, all you needed was to hear Luke’s laugh to turn your day around. A smile easily appeared on your face as you looked to your left to see Luke smiling back at you. You stayed like that for a moment until the waiter came back and set your brunch in front of you.

Before you dug into your meal, you could have sworn you saw Ashton nudge Calum while smirking in your direction.

...

“I feel like I just ate my body weight in pancakes.” Calum groaned and slouched down in his chair. A murmur of agreement came from the others around the table before Ashton cleared his throat.

“We can always work off brunch by going on a walk.” You couldn’t help but to roll your eyes; of course Ashton would be the one to suggest a walk. With their own sounds of disapproval, the boys shook their heads. “Oh come on. There’s a nice park close by.”

Luke sighed and shrugged. “I’m sure it’s nice Ash but taking a walk in the park isn’t going to be easy for us.” He had a point. It was hard for any of the boys to go places without their pictures being taken or getting stopped. Of course they loved getting to talk to fans but sometimes they just wanted to have a normal day.

“Fine if you three won’t come with, will you Y/N?” Ashton asked, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout as he leaned across the table, taking your hands into his. You were going to agree with him that a walk sounded wonderful but you didn’t even have the chance to answer him. “Great!” He tugged you away from the table, gathering your things for you before he rushed off towards the park.

“Well,” you began with a sigh, glancing back at Luke. “Guess I’ll see you guys after my walk. See you later Mike, Cal, Bubs.” With that, you ran after Ashton, punching his shoulder when you caught up to him. “What was that for? I was going to go with you so you didn’t need to force me.”

Ashton shrugged and threw his arm around your shoulders. “I wanted to talk to you without anyone snooping and since the other three didn’t want to come, it seemed like a good chance to talk.”

Your heart pounded in your chest and your hands grew clammy. You had nothing to be scared of but you couldn’t help how your fight or flight instinct kicked in and right about now, you were ready to run away as fast as you could. “About what?”

A soft chuckle rumbled through his chest at your question. “I just wanted to ask if you thought you were being slick.” What? You stopped walking and looked over at him. What on earth was he talking about? You must have looked as confused as you felt because he continued. “I mean you really don’t think we can’t tell about your little crush right? Luke might be dense but not everyone else is.”

A groan escaped your lips and you rolled your eyes, continuing your walk as your heart rate returned to normal. “How many times do I have to tell you, I don’t have a crush on Luke.”

“Of course you do Y/N. You always sit next to him, you’re constantly touching him, and god the dopey look you get when you look at him. You can’t tell me you never felt anything more than friendship.”

Ashton looked ready to continue but a group of young girls walked over and asked for photos. You’ve never been more thankful for fans than you were in that moment. Luke was just your friend and that was it. There was no other emotion and Ashton needed to let it go. Of course there was that time he was dared to kiss you.

You were both 16 and hormones mostly controlled your brain. In only a few short weeks, your boys would be going off to tour with One Direction. You were flooded with pride when Luke told you about the tour and you both promised to spend as much time together as you could before he left. You and the four boys crammed yourselves into Luke’s bedroom, stuffing your faces with snacks and giggling at the horrible dares you all came up with. At some point, Michael dared Calum to slow dance with Luke’s brother Jack and while he did it, the dare was lame.

“Luke, your turn. Truth or dare.” Calum asked, leaning against the bed as he tried to throw some popcorn into his mouth.

“I’ll go with dare.” Luke chuckled and leaned over, elbowing you in the side. “Cal has the worst dares so it can’t be that bad.”

Calum smirked and took a quick glance at Ashton before speaking. “Well then, I dare you to kiss Y/N.” Silence filled the room as you and Luke looked at each other. You could feel your body start to heat up and you told yourself it was just because you were embarrassed, not because you liked Luke. Luke looked as red as you felt and you wondered if he was just scared or if there was something else. But you quickly shot that thought down; Luke was your best friend so certainly he didn’t have any feelings for you. Which was great because you didn’t have any towards him.

“Pick a different dare Calum. I can’t kiss Y/N, they haven’t kissed anyone before.” It was true. You had never kissed anyone before and it didn’t bother you since it doesn’t matter when you kiss someone. But was that really the only reason Luke didn’t want to kiss you? Calum did just say that he had to kiss you, not shove his tongue down your throat. Luke looked between you and Calum, trying to figure out just what to do. Calum shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest, watching Luke begin to lose his mind. “Is this alright with you? If you don’t want this then we don’t have to.”

You nodded and rubbed your hands on the carpet. “It’s fine Bubs. At least my first kiss will be with someone that actually cares about me and not some jerk.” You said with a nervous laugh, hoping that Luke wouldn’t be upset that you were fine with it.

“Right, ok then.” Luke mumbled and scooted over to you, his shaky hands coming to rest on your cheeks. “I’m gonna kiss you now.” You nodded and Luke took one last look at Calum over his shoulder before he leaned in. His lips quickly pressed against yours and you were surprised at how soft they were. You were also surprised at how nice and natural it felt to have his mouth moving against yours; you didn’t want it to end. He was warm and the way his lips fit yours almost perfectly was new and wonderful. You weren’t exactly sure what a kiss was supposed to feel like but you felt light and like you were floating on a cloud. Everything around you faded away and in that moment, it was just you and Luke, lip locked. Quickly and suddenly, Luke pulled away and sat back in his spot, rubbing his lips with his fingers. His face was flushed an even darker shade of red and the room suddenly felt like it was 50 degrees hotter. The other three boys giggled and Ashton winked at you.

“So how was your first kiss?” Michael snorted and looked at Luke who was looking at anything but you. How were you supposed to answer that? You certainly weren’t going to tell anyone how nice it felt but you couldn't say it was bad and hurt Luke.

“It was a kiss? How was it supposed to feel?” You decided it was a good enough answer.

“No fireworks? No butterflies or tingling sensations?” Ashton asked, leaning forward. Maybe that was a good way to describe your feelings but before you could come up with a lie, Luke jumped to his feet and ran out the door, mumbling about getting water. You glared and shoved Ashton as you ran after Luke, catching up to him in the kitchen.

“Are you alright?” You whispered, feeling like anything louder would break open a dam of emotions you weren’t ready to tackle. Luke sighed and leaned against the counter, gesturing for you to do the same.

“I should be asking you that. I just took your first kiss because of a dumb game.” He shoved his hands into his jean pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. “Are you ok?”

“Of course.” It was a lie. You didn’t feel fine at all. You were confused and worried about just how nice that kiss was. “Luke if I wasn’t alright with it then I would have said something.” He nodded but remained quiet. For a few moments, neither of you talked or moved; you just watched the cars out the window as they drove by. “So, are you alright?”

Luke nodded and turned, looking at you for the first time in ten minutes. “I am, I just don’t want this to mess anything up or ruin our friendship. I mean I just kissed you, it was a little weird.” He laughed.

Right. He didn’t feel anything for you and so of course this was weird for him. Not that it wasn’t weird for you too because you didn’t like him. You rolled your eyes, shoving your confusion down for the time being and elbowed Luke. “Nothing is going to change our friendship, not even a weird kiss.”

Luke smiled and bumped his shoulder against yours. Despite telling yourself that you felt nothing towards your best friend, you couldn’t stop the queasy feeling in your stomach as Luke looked at you. You must have eaten something weird because there was no way you were feeling butterflies. “Let’s get back to the guys. Maybe we can make Calum kiss Michael as payback.”

You blinked away the memory, feeling Ashton’s eyes on you. The fans must have left when you were zoned out since you didn’t see anyone around. “So, you’re sure you don’t like Luke?”

“Yes Ashton. I’m sure so can you drop it?”

“I’ll drop it when you realize you’re in denial.” He said with a shrug while you both continued on your walk.

“It isn’t denial. You’re just imagining things.”

...

A week later, Luke texted you and the other boys about a party he was going to throw at his house. He didn’t tell you exactly why he wanted to throw a party but he did mention he had an announcement and an important question for you. Your first thought was that he was going to ask you out but you convinced yourself that you were just confused. Ashton refused to back off and he constantly told you that you were in denial. At this point, you almost believed him.

The night of the party, you got dressed and waited for Ashton to pick you up. He was out picking up some drinks so he told you he would pick you up and drive you home. Well, he didn’t exactly say he would drive you home. He was positive that a certain blonde boy would be inviting you to stay the night with him tonight. Ashton must be confused because Luke wasn’t going to ask you out. He’s still so hurt from his last relationship that ended only a few months ago.

The sound of your phone ringing had woken you up late one night. Normally you would have ignored the call but when you saw Luke’s name light up on the screen, you answered. “Luke? What is it? It’s three in the morning.” He didn’t answer but on the other end, you could hear his sniffles and what sounded like a choked sob. “Luke? Bubs what is it? Talk to me.”

“She cheated on me.” He sounded so small and broken; fury rushed through your veins. You never liked his girlfriend but he was happy with her. Now that all has changed. You threw your blankets off your bed and tugged on a jacket and some slippers.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.” His soft reply was almost too hard to hear before he hung up the phone. All you wanted to do was find this girl and beat her into the ground but Luke needed you. He was always a sensitive boy and this was going to crush him. He cried watching Finding Nemo as a 23 year old for god’s sake; how was he going to survive this? You quickly ran out the door and made your way to Luke’s house as quickly as you could. When you pulled up, you fumbled with your keys, searching for the one he had given you. Finally you found it and unlocked the door, coming in to see Luke on the couch, surrounded by broken furniture and staring blankly at the wall. Wordlessly, you stepped over the mess and sat next to him, pulling his head to rest on your chest. As soon as he made contact, the tears poured out and his body quaked as the sobs tore out of his throat. Your hands found his hair, combing through the curls in a hope to comfort him. There was nothing you could say to make this better, you both knew that. All you could do was hold him until he was ready to talk.

Almost an hour later, the tears stopped flowing and Luke grew quiet once more. “Want some water?” You asked, drying his face with the sleeves of your jacket. He nodded but when you went to stand, he clung onto you, making you stumble and fall back onto the couch. “I have to stand to get you water Bubs. You can come with.” Luke nodded once more and let you go just long enough for you both to stand before his hand gripped yours, keeping you close. It was hard to avoid stepping on broken glass with the giant man holding onto you but you both managed to get into the kitchen. Once you filled a cup with water, he took it from your grasp, sipping at it as he looked at the mess around you both. The kitchen wasn’t much better as you could see crushed mugs and even a blender on the floor. “Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to.” Your free hand came back to his hair, brushing it out of his face. You almost expected him to refuse but slowly, he started talking.

“I came home from a party, she didn’t want to go, said she felt sick.” He swallowed thickly and you began to rub his back, encouraging him to continue but not pushing him. “Some asshole was all over her on the couch. Half naked. His hands were,” he took a shaky breath before continuing on a new topic. “She told me it was an accident but how could it have been? He was in my house.” At this, tears fell once more but he continued to talk. “I threw a vase at them. He left and she started yelling and throwing things at me. Said it was my fault she cheated. That she wouldn’t have to if I was around more. We threw more things and then she packed up her shit and she’s gone.”

“Oh god Luke. I’m so sorry.” You took your hand out of his grasp and rested your hands on his cheeks. “What can I do?” He was going to be hurt for a while and nothing could change that. But if there was something, anything, that would make him hurt just a little less, you would do it.

“Can you stay the night? I don’t want to be alone.” He sounded like a child, coming to his parent’s room, asking to sleep with them. You leaned in and kissed his forehead before nodding.

“Of course Bubs. Anything you need, I’ll do it.”

Three sharp knocks on your door broke you out of your trance and you scrambled over to the door, unsure of how long the person had been there. When the door opened, you smiled at Ashton. “Ready to be fashionably late to the party?” He chuckled as he took you to his car. The first half of the drive was pretty quiet, filled with the sounds of the radio. “So,” Ashton began, smiling widely, “how’s the water in denial?”

“What?” You could only assume he was still on his bullshit about you liking Luke but you could never tell with Ashton.

“Denial. You know since you still refuse to believe Luke likes you. He told me he had an important question to ask you tonight so you’d better admit your feelings to yourself fast before he asks you out. He’s in love with you Y/N.”

“You don’t even know if that’s the question Ash.”

“No, I suppose not.” Despite his words, the smile never left his face. Maybe he knew something you didn’t. Was it possible that Luke wanted to ask you out tonight? Maybe Luke had some secret romantic feelings for you that Ashton knew about. Maybe you had some romantic feelings for him. Ashton stopped the car outside of Luke’s house and smirked at you. “Just be ready for anything tonight.”

It was actually a pretty small party which surprised you. It looked like Luke had only invited friends and a few other people in the music industry, which was fine. You actually liked the smaller parties since it felt more normal and not like a rager thrown by a rockstar. Ashton grabbed your arm and dragged you into the house, looking for Luke. He wasn’t too hard to find since he was taller than at least 90% of the people here. He was standing in the living room with Michael and Calum by his side. “You’re here!” Luke cheered, and pulled you in for a hug. “I’m so excited for tonight. I can’t wait to talk to you.”

Butterflies, yes butterflies, jumped around your stomach as you listened to him talk. Shit. Maybe you really did like him. Was it possible that all this time you had just been in denial like Ashton thought? You always found Luke attractive but you never dared to think of him in a more than friendly way. His white shirt only brought out the blue of his eyes that much more and dear lord did his hair look perfect. “Lukey!” A squeal broke you out of your thoughts and from the other side of the room, a girl ran over. You had never seen her before and while you didn’t know all of Luke's friends, you thought you knew most of them. The girl jumped and Luke caught her in his arms before he leaned in and kissed her. Yeah, he was definitely kissing her. Your heart completely shut down as you watched his lips move against hers. He slowly set her back on her feet and with a sheepish smile, he looked back at you and the boys.

“This is what I wanted to tell you guys. This is my girlfriend, Nicole.” All at once, you could feel your heart shatter into a million pieces and your gut dropped down to your feet. That’s not possible. How does Luke have a girlfriend? You watched as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against his side as she kissed his cheek. That should be you. You should be the one jumping into his arms and kissing him. He should be holding you like that, not her. Who did she think she was? Was she just dating Luke for the fame and money? Was she using him? You felt a hand on your arm and looked over to see Ashton, who looked like he had seen a ghost. He was wrong. Luke didn’t love you at all. He loved Nicole.

“Y/N? Are you ok?” Ashton whispered, trying to get you to look away from the couple.

“Denial.” You whispered, unsure if the words actually even left your mouth.

“What?”

“Denial Ash. It was denial.” Without another word, you turned and ran out of the house. What the fuck?

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be removed)

@lustingfor5sos​ @mycollectionofnuts​ @ohhmuke​ @softboycal @norawashere​ @who-do-you-love-5sos​ @aftermidnightclifford @katiaw2​ @littlesinnersins​ @bbyboyycal​ @rosecoloredash​

[ablogofthecriminalmindsvariety]

poly bau fic poly bau fic poly bau fic poly bau fic poly bau fic poly bau fic (reid centric?)

I love Spencer being babied and taken care of ❤️🥺 esp w the addiction because we never got to see that onscreen

You are totally right! We didn’t get to see anyone really being there for him during his addiction struggle other than a passing comment or two from Hotch. We just got to see him be all irritable and grumpy, which, yeah, understandable, makes sense, but there was room for them to do other stuff with that. And I am more than happy to provide what the writers did not. I hope that this doesn’t come across leaning too hard one way or another away from the prompt.

This is plotless fluff, by the way. I haven’t taken the time to figure out any sorts of logistics on this like I normally would as far as like… living situations and all of that. Full disclosure.

--

It was absolute hell. His head was pounding. He felt about ready to toss his cookies. He was constantly teetering right on the edge of feeling like snapping at anyone and everyone that came near him, and wanting to crawl under the covers and never come back out from under them to face the world.

’That’ll happen when you’re going through heroin withdrawals.’ His brain pointed out, rather unhelpfully.

“I know that.” He muttered to himself, flipping over and deciding he’d rather burrow into the blankets.

“Who you talking to there, sunshine?” ’Penelope’ his slightly more helpful mind supplied.

“Nobody.”

“If you say so.” He felt the bed dip, indicating she had sat down next to him. “You feel up to eating some soup? Aaron made some last night, there’s still some left over.”

He popped his head out from under the pillow. Who knew. Maybe it would help calm his stomach. It was a coin toss, but he was willing to take that risk. Especially if Hotch had made it. He made chicken soup for them when they were sick, it was a comfort, even though he didn’t cook all the time. “Guess so.”

She smiled and reached down to brush the damp hair off of his forehead. “Alright, sugar. I’ll go warm some up for you.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “And I’ll get you some water too, you need to stay hydrated.”

She left the room, only to return a few minutes later, a glass of water clutched in one hand, and a bowl of soup balanced on the other. “I come bearing soup. And company.” Morgan’s head popped around the corner at her second statement. 

“Hey there, pretty boy.”

“Hey.” He offered up a smile, though it was faint, it was there. Even though he felt like death and his brain was chanting ‘I want, I need, I want, I need’ continuously, spending time with some of his favorite people definitely helped him to feel a bit better.

“Thought you could use some extra love.”

“Always.” Derek sat down on his right, and Penelope on his left. He sipped at his soup, and did actually manage to keep some of it down, though he didn’t much feel like pushing his luck.

“JJ and Emily went to the store, but they said they’d be back in a little while. And Aaron and Rossi had to go in to get some work done, Strauss is breathing down Hotch’s neck, they wanted to get her off his back before the weekend, so we might actually manage to get a day off for once. Together.”

“That’ll be nice.”

“How are you feeling, though?”

“Same old same old.”

“So horrible?”

“Yeah, pretty terrible.”

“Oh, my poor baby.” Penelope leaned over to press a kiss to his sweaty forehead. “You’re burning up.”

“Am I? I could have sworn I would have been freezing.”

“C’mere, kid.” Before he could have much of a say in the matter, not that he would have complained, he was wrapped up in a pair of strong arms.

“You going to join the party, Pen?”

“I’d never pass up an opportunity to snuggle with two of my favorite fellows.” She shuffled over closer, and they sort of all lumped together in a pile of limbs and sheets. And he was content to stay there like that with them and drift off into a, thankfully, dreamless sleep.

He was only woken again by the sound of keys jingling in the lock and the door swinging open. “Hello?” Called an unmistakably female voice. Emily and JJ must be home from the store, then. He could hear one of them heading towards the direction of the bedroom, and soon enough, a blonde head of hair popped around the corner. “Hey there, Spence. See you three were having a nice afternoon.”

“Guess we fell asleep.”

“Did we wake you up?”

“I think I probably would have anyways. And I think it’s for the best, my sleep schedule is screwed up enough as is.”

She laughed. “Fair enough. You hungry?”

“Not in the slightest, but thanks for asking.”

Another laugh. “Alright. Think you can detangle yourself from those two sleepyheads and come spend some time with your favorite ladies? Thinking we could go sit outside for a little while. The fresh air’ll be good for you. Clear your head, maybe make you feel a little better. Get your mind off of… things.”

“I think I can manage.” It was a bit of a precarious mission, and they almost woke up once or twice, but he did eventually manage escape the bed. He was still freezing cold and burning hot at the same time and felt like steaming hot garbage, but not as much as he had before.

After retrieving Emily from the kitchen, the trio went to sit on the porch, and admire the wonderful view that was the street in front of the house.

“How are you feeling, Spence?” If it hadn’t been coming from a place of love, he would have gotten sick of that question by now.

“Pretty godawful.”

“Anything you want? Need? Anything?”

’Yes, there is, but that is the one thing that under no uncertain terms I cannot have.’

“Just some company is good for now.”

“I think we can do that, don’t you, Em?”

“Think we can manage.”

He found himself sandwiched between the two of them, with JJ’s head on his shoulder, and his own resting on Emily’s. Emily’s fingers carded through his hair, her fingers occasionally scratching at his scalp in a soothing manner while JJ absently traced circles onto his lower back.

If ever there was a safe space, this would be one. With the people that he loved. He was a lucky man.

He wasn’t necessarily someone that always appreciated silence, but in moments like these, he found he did, that no talking was necessary, just the sounds of the neighbors and the sounds of the outdoors. It was nice.

That was how Dave and Aaron found them once they eventually got home, when the sun was beginning to set, and they hadn’t bothered to go inside yet.

“You been waiting for us out here?” Dave asked, a hint of a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

“Yeah, sure, that’s it.” JJ rolled her eyes at them.

“No need to be so snarky with us right after we get home.” Aaron piped up, though he bent down to give each of them a ‘hello’ kiss on the forehead. “How are we feeling today, doctor?”

For as annoying as that question was becoming, he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips when he asked it. For as serious as he could be, he could be a bit of a dork sometimes too. “I’ve definitely seen better days.”

Dave pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. “You’ve got a fever. Have you eaten today?”

“Yes.”

“Drinking water?”

“Yes.”

“Sleeping?”

“Yes, Mother.” That earned him a swat on the back of the head.

“Watch it, you.”

“Lay off him.” Hotch spoke up. “Though you should probably take some Tylenol. And come back inside. And if you call me ‘dad’, that is a whole separate issue.”

He couldn’t help the way his cheeks burned at the comment, and he could hear the poorly stifled laughter of JJ and Emily behind him. “Okay. Tylenol. Inside. Okay.”

The five of them shuffled inside, only to find Derek and Penelope busying themselves in the kitchen by doing the leftover dishes from the day and apparently attempting to cook dinner. Dave went to go help them, while the remainder of them situated themselves on the couch, Reid sat on one end next to Hotch, and Prentiss beside him, sandwiched between him and JJ.

The other three, who had been heard having a time in the kitchen, came in a while later, all of them attempting to balance at least two plates on their arms before setting them down on the coffee table to eat. Rossi sat himself down on the other side of Spencer, while Penelope and Derek situated themselves on the other couch. Bit of a tight squeeze, but he was comfortable, he didn’t really care.

With much coaxing from multiple people, he did manage to stomach a few bites off of his face before firmly refusing.

Nobody pushed the issue, and they went about eating their dinner. Aaron offered to clean it up, but Spencer was going to be damned if his human pillow was going to move.

That had earned him a chuckle from Morgan who offered to clean up instead.

They all stayed clustered together in the living room after dinner, and somehow managed to agree on a movie to watch. Spencer even let Hotch and Rossi fuss over him to make sure he had enough space, and he was comfortable enough. He didn’t really always hate being fussed with.

They were all pretty smooshed together as it was, so it wasn’t much of a shift for him to slide onto Aaron’s lap and let his legs drape over Dave’s and off the edge of the couch. Neither of them seemed to have any complaints.

And though he did still feel like a steaming hot pile of garbage, at least he also felt loved. 

--

Wow, this turned out to be much, much longer than I expected, huh. Oh well!

[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

do you have any headcanons for clilton? Any thoughts in general that you've never shared?

Do I fucking EVER.

Firstly you should def refer to my other Chilton hc post I did if you’re looking for more lol. But to add to that...

Boy oh boy is this smarmy disaster dumbass man into voyeurism. He loves telling you to undress and then watching you get yourself off. On the bed you share, on the couch you watch Netflix on, on the chair you share to nap in, on his desk at home, on his desk at work, on his couch at work, YOU NAME IT. He hates it when you have to go away for work, or he has to, but he loves being able to FaceTime you from a few states away and watch you put on a show for him.

On a similar note: thigh riding. Not for the riding of his thigh itself (though he does appreciate the visual of his very expensive pant leg being slowly soaked through by you), but for watching you do it. His eyes flick rapidly from your pussy as it rubs against his flexed leg to your face as you get closer and closer to coming.

He’s a very visual man, what can I say?

Not into PDA but at home he’s constantly touching you. Sometimes it’s a hand on your back as he walks past, sometimes it’s a one armed hug as he stands near you. He’s been known on his more playful days to swat at your ass as you walk by him. He loves hugging you from behind so he can mold his whole body to yours- the boy is nearly as touched starved as Din Djarin.

On some level he knows that- he’s not an idiot contrary to what Hannibal might think- but he doesn’t like thinking about what that says about him as a person. That it’s taken him this long to find someone that he wanted to touch this much and that wanted to touch him back.

He’s a grumpy guss in the mornings, and never wakes up on the weekdays with enough time for morning sex, no matter how early you set his alarm or try and wake him up.

Is extremely self conscious about his height

Is also touchy about his cute round little belly (even pre-Gideon); it takes quite a bit of convincing to make him believe you when you say that you love it.

He does love it when you pet said belly though. Or dig your fingers in (gently) when you’re cuddling with him or when the two of you are having sex.

Drinks White Girl Coffee. Something ridiculously complicated and ridiculously sweet. Is embarassed by this and always orders an espresso with the coffee he really wants so he can pretend the stupidly fancy drink is for someone else.

Is a fiend for baked goods. Particularly pie. Pecan is his favorite, especially when made with Too Much butter and Too Much Bourbon. Loves cherry next, and then pumpkin, and then blueberry, and then apple and Vermont white sharp cheddar. He has ranked every single kind of pie you can think of. Don’t try to stump him you will not be able to.

Has nightmares after the Gideon Incident and can’t sleep on his back again. Wakes up sweating and shaking and does NOT want to be touched. It takes a while for him to feel comfortable enough to let you even see the scars Gideon left, much less touch them.

Isn’t really into rougher sex. Hasn’t ever been. He prefers slow and long and deep and gentle, he wants to feel every part of you and wants it to last.

However when work has him stressed? That’s when you’re finally going to get him to really go fast and hard. He does not like leaving bruises, he doesn’t want to harm you ever, but you might get the occasional accidental fingerprint on your hips or thighs after a particularly hard day at the office.

Loves it when you talk to him during sex and loves talking to you.

Makes these happy little pleased noises after he comes and while he’s still wrapped around you and stuffed in you. Doesn’t seem to be aware he’s doing it, and you can add purrs to those noises if you play with his hair.

Pet. This. Cute. Dumbass’. Hair. Constantly. All the time. Whenever you can. When he walks by. During dinner. During sex. While he’s driving. While you’re cuddling. While you’re reading together. While he’s working from home. When he lays his head on your lap and smooshes his face into your stomach. When he hugs you.

PET HIS HAIR.

Anyways. Hope that was what you were looking for lol. Got anything to add @pascalispretty ?

[hellofaer]

sugar daddy! mario x cat boy! @shinsouplays

(not proofread)

mario used to have a happy life. keywords used to. he missed his best friend for life, luigi, who literally got scared to death. mario had told him he was concerned about his obsession with the haunted mansion but luigi just didn’t listen. his companion yoshi mysteriously disappeared after a big argument with his girlfriend at the time birdo. toad and toadette were tired of being in the kingdom all the time which resulted in them running away together. Mario missed all of them, but who did he miss the most? his wife- well, ex wife peach. he thought everything they had was genuine. until he found out that she was sleeping another man- that man was bowser. apparently peach was too scared to reject mario and was seeing a man in a lizard costume behind his back. she had used the “kidnappings” as an excuse. and he believed it. once he found out about her backstabbing he banished her from the kingdom, never to be seen again. he didn’t want to do it, because deep down in his heart the fire still burned aflame for her. but he knew he had to let her go, so he did. mario spent his time dwelling in the kingdom, a lot of the time being seen either crying or eating a lot of comfort meals. but because toad and toadette ran away, no one was there to check up on him. except for his old friend waluagi. it had been years since waluagi had seen his old pal and wanted to check up on him.

little did he know, that call would change his friends life.

brrrring! brrring! brrring!

mario ignored the ringing, his face smooshed down into his dirty pillow. he had cried the night before again, and felt absolutely no energy to pick it up. until it rang once more.

brrrring! brrring! brrring! brrr-

mario fiercely grabbed his phone and answered it without looking at the caller id.

“what the hell do you want?” mario asked in an annoyed tone. no one ever called him, why now?

it was silent for a moment and mario was about to hang up before he heard a gruff voice from the phone. “ah, hello? hello? is this, er, mario?” the gruff voice asked. wait a minute. mario recognized that voice. “WALUAGI?” he asked in surprised, sitting straight up so the blankets uncovered his hairy chest. again, no one had ever called him. he thought waluigi retired and lived at a nursing home.

a loud laugh erupted from the phone, causing mario to slightly pull the phone away from his big ass ear. “yeah! mario, how’s it goin? haven’t seen you, since.. er, the uh, peach days.” waluigi said, the enthusiasm in his voice going down at the end. even though mario was still sensitive about that topic, he was focused on his old pal calling him after years of no contact. he cleared his throat awkwardly. “er, yeah, i think so.” he said with a fake chuckle. “Why don’t i stop by the kingdom so we could chat huh? bring some of your favorite pasta, how about that?” waluigi suggested. he wanted to see how mario turned out honestly. people always spread rumors about how mario let himself go and became a downer but waluigi wanted to see that for himself. mario wasn’t expecting the offer though. mario usually wasn’t a self conscious person- again, until the whole peach situation- and he admits he got bigger and his mustache has gotten a bit wild. mario didn’t want his friend to see him like that, he wanted his friend to think, “wow, mario hasn’t changed since i’ve seen him!”

“Er, how about next week? I’ve got, uh, a lot of.. cleaning up to do! rabbits trashed the place.” mario said with a sigh, rolling his eyes. he feigned annoyance as if waluigi could see him. waluigi sensed that mario was lying, but shook the feeling off. “Heh, good luck with that bud. See you next saturday?” “next saturday, mhm.” mario confirmed, swinging his legs over the bed to slide his feet into his house slippers. “Got it. See you saturday, mario.” waluigi said gruffly, hanging up before mario even got a chance to respond. hearing a small beep, he threw his phone beside him and sighed. “It’s gonna be a long week.”

and he was right.

he worked out and got back into shape (listen ik that’s not realistic but it’s fucking fiction about mario and cat boy kouda alright) and even cleaned up a little bit. his mustache was trimmed and shiny again, and plus he fight into his old overalls and red long sleeves. he had a bit of brightness and life in his big blue eyes again, feeling new and improved. he had even made a little meal for him and waluigi. pancakes, bacon that was a little burnt, and some scrambled eggs with fresh orange juice. mario tried as much as he could to cook, as he was used to toad making his food. mario was just finishing setting the last glass of orange juice down when he heard a knock at the door. “coming!” mario said, hurrying to the kingdom door. he open it, revealing a hunched over old man in purple long sleeves and some overalls. even though his mustache pointed down instead of being high and pointy, you could still tell it was him.

“Waluigi!” he gave the fellow old man a hug. Mario would never admit it, but having arms around him felt nice and warm. “Long time no see, huh?” waluigi joked. they both chuckled, until mario pat waluigi on the back. “come on in, come on in, i made food!”

- time skip 🤩 -

“a what baby?” mario asked waluigi, confused. “a sugar baby. I think it’ll be, er, beneficial to you.” waluigi grumbled. Mario sighed, facing the computer in front of him. He was on http://SugarHoney.com, a website for sugar babies and sugar mommies/daddies to find each other. “How will giving someone my money benefit me?” waluigi laughed. “you won’t be the only one giving. they’ll give you love and support in return.” mario didn’t seem convinced, waluigi could tell by the “what the hell” look on his face. waluigi sighed. “Just look at the profiles, lots of cute boys and girls there yeah?” he suggested, leaning back into the chair. Mario sighed. “Alright.”

and mario scrolled and scrolled and scrolled. “There’s no one interesting enough here.” mario complained.

“Give it here!” waluigi said in annoyance, tugging the computer away from him. “That’s because you’re not looking at the premium people.” waluigi grumbled after looking at the profiles. “here.” waluigi clicked on the premium tab. the premium tab was exclusively for the, how should i say it, *interesting* people on the website. mario sighed, grabbing the computer to search profiles once again. a few minutes passed, and mario still hadn’t found anyone that interested him. his eyes were still glued to the screen though. “waluigi, i don’t think that anybody- mama mia!” if the 😍emoji was real, that would be mario’s face.

arkouda chisaki.

major.

loves pasta.

cat boy.

he had just found the perfect one for him.

——

arkouda was sitting in the drivers seat of his car with his friends, waiting to be next in line at wendy’s. “soo why did you decide to be a sugar baby again?”

sisi asked. “do you see how much money they make sisi?” even though the question was rhetorical, sisi shook her head. kouda rolled with it anyway. “a lot. a whole lot.” he answered, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. “I wanna be a sugar baby.” jailani announced randomly, obviously intrigued. Kouda sighed. “Lani, you’re a minor. You can’t do that.” “No no no, but what if i just support them from a distance with encouraging words and they give me money!” “I would much rather get frog stuffed animals than money.” Khloe added, holding her own giant stuffed frog. Kouda only laughed. He pulled up to the drive thru of wendy’s, putting his car in park. “Alright, what do y’all want?” Kouda asked everyone, scratching his cat boy ears (🤩). “A strawberry lemonade!!”sisi answered with a warm smile on her face. “Just a sprite please!” khloe said, poking her head in the middle of sisi and kouda. “Baconator!“ lani responded.

After he ordered everyone’s food along with his chicken sandwich and a cherry mello yello, he drove by a little spot in the woods he knew of. kouda got out of the car, holding the bags of food while sisi and khloe held their drink and lani held a pink and white picnic blanket. They all headed towards their usual hang out spot in a comfortable silence, nearing closer and closer the clearing. lani set down the blanket, mumbling about how if she feels a bug on her she’ll sob. sisi and khloe laughed, setting their drinks down where they were going to sit. “Bugs aren’t that bad lani!” sisi said, sitting down behind her drink. “Yeah dude, they’re adorable.” kouda said, setting the bags down in the middle. Lani rolled her eyes, ignoring the twos words.

soon everyone was happily enjoying their meal/drinks, talking about trauma, character anons, memes and shit about each other. yknow, the normal stuff. until someone’s phone goes off.

Sisi looks at everyone like 👀 because she put her phone on silent. khloe took out her phone and checked her notifications, but quickly put it back away. “nope!” lani shook her head without even caring to look. “my ringtone isn’t boring like that.” she huffed. kouda rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone. he got one notification.

http://SugarHoney.com: You’ve got (1) daddy request! From: papamari0

[taeken-my-heart]

Drabble Game

“I want you and I know you want me too.” #97 With Jimin (I definitely put a little twist on this :P) @jimintaelove

I’m still working on #87 and #98 and will try to have them out by tomorrow. Happy 4th of July, America! 

It was the summer of 1993. You were sat outside on the porch of your grandma’s BnB, sticky with warmth and the melting Tiger Tail ice cream dripping from the side of your cone. The wood of the porch was a little too warm beneath your bare legs, but your great aunt Catharine was inside and you would rather brave the sun than her cheek pinching fingers.

Summers were spent like this. A small-town visit to your grandparent’s house, landlocked and hot; there was the Kootenay river, though. Memories filled with splashing in the water left you with a particular longing. The water was always a little too cold and a little too crowded, but you loved it anyway.

Finishing your ice cream, you wiped sticky fingers on the front of your shorts, looking down across the grass, knees bouncing as you waited. Jimin was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago, but he was always late. He had a very strict hair routine that he’d kept since you’d met him in the summer of 1985 when you were only 8 years old. His dad told him he looked really rad and he’d been dedicated to it ever since.

“Sorry I’m late!” Jimin puffed, running around the corner of the house and dropping his hands onto his knees, figure hunched over as he gasped for air. You watched him; lips pinched together as you tried not to giggle.

“I’ve been waiting for 20 minutes, Jimin!” you complained and he stood back to his whole height, touching his hair carefully to make sure it hadn’t lost its shape.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

You sniffed, going to stand in front of him, arms folded. “Your hair always looks the same anyway, who are you trying to impress?” You teased.

Jimin pouted and you smirked. “Don’t be mean to me,” he huffed, “I think it looks cool.”

“It does look cool.” You admitted, grabbing his wrist and starting to walk down the hill. “Let’s go over to Frenchie’s, I’m craving some poutine.”

“We just had that yesterday!” He complained, allowing you to pull him along anyway.

“Don’t have a cow about it, Jimin. We’ll get your favorite, how about that?”

The thought seemed to perk him right up because he was suddenly walking right beside you, smile on his face and a happy little skip to his walk. “Well, I suppose that doesn’t sound too bad.”

Frenchie’s greeted you with air conditioning and a glass case full of replicas of the different types of artery clogging food’s you could choose from. Jimin stared hungrily down at the Cheeseburger Poutine with pickles, nose pressed to the glass and breath leaving behind perspiration. “I want you and I know you want me too.” He whispered.

You rolled your eyes and Nanny Kay swatted him away from the case with a dish rag and a frown. “Stop smooshing your face against my clean glass!” She scolded and Jimin sent her his most winning smile.

“I’m sorry, your food is just like a siren calling my name, I have to respond.”

“Respond like a normal person, then.” She frowned, but you could see the smile trying to hide in the wrinkles of her cheeks. “Go sit down, you animal.”

Jimin grinned and you followed after him to a nearby booth, sliding in along the cherry red with a squeak and some chaffing on the backside of your thighs. “The pickles are all yours.” You said, watching Jimin unwrap his utensils from their napkin cage.

“It’s always a pleasure doing business with you.” He nodded, gripping the fork and knife tightly in his hands and wiggling in excitement.

The food was greasy and made your stomach twist in mild discomfort, but you loved it. Except for the pickles. It wasn’t really the kind of food you should have been eating on a hot day, especially after a full cone of ice cream, but you were 16 and on vacation, you could afford the calories.

Jimin was greedy with the food and generous with conversation, but you didn’t mind. He was beautiful when he was passionate about something. Well, really, he was beautiful all the time, but especially when he was excited and laughing. He talked all about what he’d been doing during the year while you were back home with your mom and dad in Calgary.

A country boy and a city girl. You came from vastly different walks of life, Jimin didn’t even have a Discman. You were jealous of him, though. He was so creative; he always knew just what to do to keep himself entertained. You couldn’t function at home without your cable television or the telephone.

Jimin ran his fingers through his hair before cursing and pulling a mirror from his pocket, checking the damage. You smiled, rolling your eyes. “You look very handsome.” You remarked and Jimin lowered the mirror briefly to pout at you.

“You’re just saying that because I’m your best friend.”

“No, I’m saying it because it’s true.” You said, shaking your head and standing, pulling some bills from your pocket and leaving them on the table. “You coming or not?”

You didn’t wait for him, heart pounding too loud in your ears. You wondered what he’d think of that declaration as you pushed through the tinkling door and back into the heat.  You’d never said it before, though you meant it with your whole being.

You could hear the door slam open and shut behind you as Jimin jogged to your side and you tried not to tense up. “You really think I’m handsome?” He asked, looking over at you. You couldn’t return his gaze, only nodding briefly as the two of you continued to walk back along the sidewalk.

There was a pause that you began to feel was too long. You shouldn’t have said anything; you just had to go and make it weird. Fingers sliding through yours startled you and you looked down just as his thumb stroked across your knuckles.

“Thanks, Y/N.” He said gently and you looked up at him, finally brave enough, and smiled. “You’re pretty beautiful yourself.”

The two of you continued walking, your fingers wrapped tight in his and your head feeling fuzzy with affection. You were definitely going to write this down in your journal later.

____________________________________________________________

Copyright © 2019  by taeken-my-heart (Nora.) All rights reserved. 

[themadamelibrarian]

Mary's Firsts - Part 62 of Loving Heart

Written by: @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell & @themadamelibrarian Chapters: 4/4 Relationships: Gabriel/Lucifer/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester Characters: Gabriel (Supernatural), Lucifer (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Menstruation, Coming of Age, Growing Up, Post-Break Up, Teenagers, First Dates, First Love, Shopping, Safe Sex Discussion, frank discussions about sex, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Protective Lucifer (Supernatural), Protective Gabriel (Supernatural) Summary: Mary Rose is growing up. Thankfully she has her uncles and parents to help guide her through a series of firsts that are embarrassing and overall hurtful. With the love and support of her family, she can get through anything.

Notes: These chapters contain subjects such as first periods, first dates and a breakup after a loss of virginity. The acts between the teenagers involved are not graphically described but there is a frank discussion with her family about the aftermaths in the final chapter.

Share this story and show support for the creator!

Tagging: @copperseraphim; @thenanahunter; @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell; @idabbleincrazy; @truxblooded; @helvonasche

LINK TO AO3

Chapter 1

Lucifer looked up from his book and from bouncing Samson on his need to smile at his ten-year-old daughter as William toddled around his sister’s ankles. “Hey there, Princess.” He hummed happily. “What’s up?”

“Nothin’.” Mary Rose said sullenly as she wandered over and crawled up into the nest.

“Nothing?” Lucifer prompted. “You’ve been a bit moody lately, Mary. And you usually don’t come into the nest, even when it’s apparent that I’m alone. So what’s up?”

She frowned down at the comforter and jerked her foot away from William when he tried to grab hold of her toes. “I hate the girls at school.”

“Oh? Why? Are they being pains in the butts?” Lucifer asked, hauling William onto the bed. Samson squealed at the addition of his brother.

“Yeah.” Mary Rose sighed and looked up at Lucifer. “They keep asking me why I don’t wear a bra and say only sluts don’t wear ‘em. I don’t even know what that is but it must be bad.”

Lucifer sighed and shook his head before looking over at his daughter with the eye of a father assessing what his daughter needed. “Want to have a Mom-daughter date and go get you some bras? You’re starting to get some breasts, and I bet it’s uncomfortable when you run.” He commented.

Mary Rose flushed a pinkish shade of red. Her being embarrassed by the slightest thing mentioned about puberty was a phenomenon that had been occurring with more regularity.

“Hey, Princess, nothing to be embarrassed about,” Lucifer said, nudging his daughter playfully before kissing her temple. “It happens, and if it’ll get those girls in your class to shut up, then even better. Nothing too fancy for now, we’ll just pick up some basic colors in a few styles.”

“But, you’re a boy. Boy’s shouldn’t go in the bra store.” She added like she was scandalized by the thought. “Brittany at school says so because her mom made her dad stay at home when they went shopping.

Lucifer laughed. “Oh, Princess.” He said, hugging her. “Sometimes, when there’s a girl mommy and a boy daddy, Daddy will go to the bra store to buy Mommy pretty bras and panties for her, oftentimes as a wedding anniversary gift. Or Valentine’s Day. Or for no reason. Or for the fact that Daddy noticed Mommy had worn out most of hers and needed more. Boys should go into the bra store. Who do you think helps Aunt Michelle in the bra store?”

“You?” She asked in wonder. The other girls always went on about shopping with their Mom’s and how some of them made a big day of it. With ice cream and shopping and other fun things. Secretly she wanted all of that but hadn’t known how to ask since she had a very unconventional family.

“Yep, me.” Lucifer smiled and held her. “So, Mom-daughter date? We’ll pick up some bras and some other things, get food... Make a day out of it.”

“Really? You mean it?” Mary Rose’s voice raised in excitement, causing her brothers to bounce happily and make little squealing noises of their own.

“Absolutely!” Lucifer laughed, smiling at his happy children. “We can go tomorrow, and we’ll even leave your brothers at home.”

She lunged up and threw her arms around Lucifer’s neck, giving him a smacking kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Mommy.”

Lucifer held Mary close and beamed. “Of course, sweetheart. I’ll do my best to help you out always. ”

Mary Rose pulled back with a worried expression. “But you won’t tell anyone, right? It’d be too embarrassing.”

“I won’t even tell Castiel.” Lucifer smiled. “I’ll just plop the twins in Papa and Daddy’s laps, tell them to have fun, then listen to Uncle Dean scream while the twins terrorize him as we leave.”

Giggling, she hid her face against Lucifer’s shoulder.

“De!” William shouted as he made a grabbing motion for the door, his wings flapping as if he wanted to fly off to find said Uncle.

“Oh, you want to go find your uncle?” Lucifer laughed. “What? Is Mommy not fun anymore?”

“Da!” Samson joined in, squirming around in Lucifer’s arms just as Gabriel rounded the corner, dressed in a three-piece suit.

Lucifer gave a low whistle at his mate in the three-piece suit. “And what is the occasion, Gabe?” He asked warmly, holding onto Samson tightly.

Gabriel flashed a smile over his shoulder as he rooted around in his drawer. “Going upstairs and Father said to look respectable. I don’t think he appreciated me going last time dressed in a latex bodysuit that said…” Gabriel glanced at the children and smirked. “Something that little eyes and ears shouldn’t witness.”

Lucifer laughed and waved his mate off. “Go talk to Father, we’ll be here. I was thinking about dropping William into Dean’s lap.”

“Do it. That grumpy old man needs to be shaken up since Castiel got stationed with a garrison again.” Gabriel turned around and held out his arms. “Who has a kiss for Daddy?”

Mary Rose was the first to jump to her feet and walk across the nest toward her father. Scooping her up, he planted a raspberry kiss to her cheek, which she gladly returned.

Lucifer watched the exchange happily as he carried a twin on each hip and walked over to their sister and father.

Gabriel put Mary Rose down and kissed the twins before turning to Lucifer. “Not sure you qualify for kisses from ��Daddy’.” He said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Lucifer laughed and leaned in with a kiss for his husband anyways. “Then a kiss from my husband?” He asked playfully.

“No fun,” Gabriel muttered as he pressed a kiss to Lucifer’s lips.

Lucifer smiled and kissed Gabriel back, laughing softly when Samson tried to push them together as William tried to pull them apart.

.oOo.

Lucifer leaned over the armchair Dean was sitting it and placed two squealing and giggling babies on his lap, both which started cheering for “De!!” when they saw who it was. “Naptime for them is at 3, and don’t forget that William seems to have a slight peanut allergy so just a jelly sandwich for him.” He said. “Sam and Gabe will be home to help.”

“Wait a damned minute,” Dean said with a start as he tried to twist around to look at his brother in law. “I didn’t agree to babysit!”

“Now you have, congratulations! I can’t take the twins with me, I’m doing a Mom-daughter date with Mary.” Lucifer informed him.

William stood on Dean’s leg and slapped his small hands on the hunter’s cheeks, smooshing them together so Dean had to talk through pursed lips. “You could warn a guy. I could have had important things to do.” Dean turned his attention to his nephew and played a bit at his hands. “And how are you allergic to peanuts, Big Man?”

“Every angel had an allergy when they were small. Castiel’s was grapes.” Lucifer commented. “As I said, Sam and Gabriel will be home to help, I’ve arranged their schedules so that one will always be home with you.”

“You and Rosemary owe me.” Dean tickled Samson’s stomach making the small angel scrambling to the opposite end of the couch with a huge grin. “But I and the dynamic duo will be fine. Won’t we, Speedy?” He asked the final question to Samson who stomped over the cushions to stick his finger in Dean’s ear.

Lucifer laughed warmly and looked at his sons. “Alright, kisses for Mommy?” He asked, leaning over the couch.

Both of the twins jumped, trying to reach their mother. “Ma! Ma! Ma!” They chanted.

Lucifer laughed and caught both of the twins to give them quick kisses before depositing them back by their uncle. “Thanks, Dean.” He said, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

Mary Rose came bursting out from the hallway with her favorite ball cap on that said ‘Dad’s Little Hunter’. “Mom, let’s go!”

Lucifer laughed and nodded. “Go on out to my car, I’ll be there soon, just gonna say goodbye to your dads real quick.”

She frowned. “You and Daddies are gonna smooch and forget.”

“I won’t forget, Princess. Strictly hands-off kissing for this Mom.” He said. “You can say goodbye to your brothers and uncle while I do that then come bug me if you feel the need.”

“Fine!” She said in that pre-teen exasperation that all parents loved to hear. Like the simple act of doing what she was asked was a huge concession. She flopped down beside Dean and pulled a pillow into her lap.

“So, shopping with Mom today, huh?” Dean started as he tried to dodge the twins' attempts to contort his face in new and interesting ways.

“Yeah.” Mary huffed, glaring down the hall after her mother while he went to go say goodbye to her dads. She didn’t want to wait. She was too excited and nervous to be waiting.

“What are you gonna get? You could use a couple of new pairs of jeans.” Dean offered as he finally sat the twins down and handed them each a remote to play with.

Mary shrugged. “Mom’s got the list.” She said nonchalantly.

Dean nudged her shoulder and leaned in. “Something wrong, Rosemary? You seem a little off.”

“Yeah, I’m good, Uncle Dean,” Mary said, giving a slight blush. She kicked her heels off the couch and groaned, looking at the clock, mentally counting down the seconds until she had to go grab her mother.

“Okay, but promise that if there is something buggin’ you that somebody knows,” Dean said softly. “Me, your mom, your dads, or even Uncle Cas. We might not be able to fix it but we’ll try.”

“I promise, Uncle Dean,” Mary said, leaping off the couch as she saw Lucifer reappear. “Let’s go, Mom!”

Lucifer laughed and smiled at his daughter. “Yes, yes, alright then, we’ll go.” He said warmly. He waved to Dean and wrapped an arm around Mary’s shoulders as they walked out to the dark black Cadillac that Lucifer had bought a few years ago.

.oOo.

“Can I help you, Sir?” A middle-aged woman asked Lucifer as he wandered through the ‘Intimate Apparel’ section with Mary Rose in tow.

“Hi.” Lucifer greeted the saleswoman with a warm smile. “Actually, maybe you can. My daughter is in need of some bras and... well, there’s really not a woman where we live.” He admitted. “I know a bit from growing up with sisters, but,” He shrugged sheepishly and hugged Mary close to him, “I’ll be honest, I just know how pretty they can look and what sizes her aunts wear. That’s about it.”

The saleswoman blinked in surprise and then nodded with a courteous smile. “Of course, I’m Abby.” She looked down at Mary Rose. “Is this your first one, sweety?”

Mary Rose nodded and clung to Lucifer’s shirttail.

“Well let's see if we can find one just for you and I can teach you what to look for if your Dad doesn’t mind,” Abby explained patiently, glancing at Lucifer for permission.

Lucifer nodded with a smile. “As long as she doesn’t mind, I’m cool with it. I figured we’d start with the basic colors until she’s a bit older.” He hugged Mary close and kissed the top of her head. “Do you mind, Princess?”

“You’ll stay with me, right Mom?” Mary Rose asked, looking up at Lucifer pleadingly.

“Of course.” Lucifer smiled. “I’ll be within your eyesight at all times, and if you need to undress, I’ll turn my back like I always do, okay?”

“Okay.” Mary Rose muttered before following Abby through the racks of underthings as their intricacies were explained.

Lucifer followed behind, occasionally texting Sam or Gabriel but made sure that he was listening and always within Mary’s line of sight as he promised.

At one point Mary Rose had gotten more comfortable with the experience, lifted up a bra that had small pink hearts on a white background and called out to him. “Can I get this one?”

Lucifer beamed. “Sure, why not?” He shrugged. “It is rather cute. If you want it, Princess, you can get it. After this, we’ll go jeans shopping- I heard your uncle say you need new ones.”

Mary Rose let out a small excited squeak and clutched the bra to her chest like it was a prized possession. Under the direction of Abby, they picked out a couple more in various sizes and headed back to the dressing room. Unknown to Lucifer, he’d gained a small following made up of a couple of shoppers and another sales clerk. They kept a respectful distance but were never further than a few displays away as they watched the sweet exchanges between daughter and father.

Lucifer smiled as he watched Mary come out of the dressing room, carrying her new bras in her arms. “Set ‘em in the cart, sweetie, do you need anything else in this section?” He asked, kissing the top of her head.

Hesitantly Mary Rose lifted a pair of brief cut panties that matched her heart print bra. “Can I have these too?”

“Yes, you may.” Lucifer smiled. “Aunt Michelle likes the matching sets too, and they’re cute. Put ‘em in.”

“Awesome!” She crowed as she slam-dunked the panties into the cart and hopped onto the end of it. “To the jeans!”

Lucifer laughed as he turned the cart around and began heading towards the jeans section, smiling at his daughter. “You remind me so much of your Uncle Dean and a bit of your papa.” He teased playfully.

“Uncle Cas said that too but said I got all the good bits.” She responded, slightly distracted as she watched the people around them as they passed by.

“Your uncle couldn’t be more right.” Lucifer beamed as they arrived in the jean aisle. “Do you know what jeans you need? I know you need a new pair of dark blue after William threw up his PB&J on them.”

Mary Rose shrugged as she hopped down from her perch. “I like my jeans but Daddy says there shouldn’t be so many holes.”

“Your father’s a nutcase.” Lucifer laughed as he found the jeans in her size. “Jeans with holes in them are fine, as long as you’re not going hunting in them.” He handed her two pairs of dark blue and a pair in a normal denim colored. “Do you want any light-colored jeans?” He asked, crouching over by a pair of white jeans.

“No, I like the dark ones.” Mary Rose dumped the jeans into the cart and started looking at another rack that had graphic print t-shirts.

Lucifer smiled and walked over to the cart, smiling at the picture of the twins Dean sent him of them sleeping on his legs with the caption I have lost the will to live and also I need to piss. You. Owe. Me.

“Your uncle’s not happy about babysitting duty.” He grinned as he typed back: oops so sorry, mom-daughter time is important especially at this age. We’ll get beers on the roof later. TTYL kiss the twins for me.

“That’s because babies are gross.” Mary Rose hopped onto the end of the cart and leaned forward. “I’m never having any.”

“And that is completely your decision and I’m fine with that.” Lucifer smiled.

She squinted at Lucifer. “You think that’s why Uncle Dean and Uncle Cas don’t have babies? They think they’re gross?”

“I think your uncles are perfectly happy helping me and your fathers raise you and the twins,” Lucifer said. “I also think they’re not having children because... well, you remember when Samson and William were close to being born? Can you imagine Uncle Castiel like that?”

“No!” She said with an amused scrunch of her nose.

Lucifer laughed. “Exactly. So no cousins for you probably. Just you and your brothers.”

“Good. Don’t need any more babies anyways.” She grumbled.

“No, we don’t.” Lucifer agreed. “Can you think of anything else we need, Princess?”

She shook her head then turned hopeful eyes toward Lucifer. “Ice cream. We gotta have ice cream.”

“Yes, we do, it’s a Mom-daughter date, after all. Ice cream is a must. Our usual place across the street?” he asked, smiling warmly at his daughter.

“YES! And all the chocolate!” She all but shouted in excitement.

Lucifer laughed and swung the cart around to head to the checkout.  “To the chocolate and ice cream!”

There was a small giggle behind them as they walked away, just loud enough for Lucifer to hear.

Lucifer heard the giggle and turned to look behind him, attempting to find the source of the noise. “Did you hear that, Mary?” He asked.

“Hear what?” Mary Rose asked.

“Thought I heard someone giggling behind us,” Lucifer said, scanning the store. “No matter, let’s get going. I hear there’s a special girl who’s been wanting chocolate and ice cream.”

“He’s obviously single.” Came a hushed voice from the other side of a high display. “I mean what married man takes their daughter bra shopping?”

“Meredith, I’m not going to walk up to a total stranger in the middle of a store and ask him out in front of his kid. I don’t care how cute he is.” A second voice replied.

Lucifer heard and had to smile to himself. “Mary.” He whispered. “Want me to tell some women that some gay men help their daughters bra shop before ice cream? I’m hearing plans about stealing me away from your daddies.”

Mary Rose frowned at her father. “You’re gonna do the thing and make it weird.”

“Which thing? I do a lot of weird things.” Lucifer said. “Do you mean the weird thing where I remind people that I’m in a gay polyamorous relationship, married, and I tend to be the woman of the house even though Daddy Gabriel’s the 50’s housewife?”

“You’re not a girl, you’re Mommy and that’s different.” She stepped off the cart and started tugging it. “Let’s go.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted them. “Excuse me, I have a quick question for my friend.”

Lucifer turned and smiled politely at the woman behind him. “Of course.” He said warmly.

The woman standing there was in her late twenties and had a brash way in the manner she held herself like she wasn’t afraid of much. “Are you married?” Her friend was standing a couple of feet away, blushing furiously.

“Happily,” Lucifer said, holding up his left hand, where the wedding ring from Sam and Gabriel sat, the fire opal gleaming in the low light of the store.

“Well damn.” She huffed and turned to her friend with a shrug. The other girl looked like someone had told her a puppy had died.

Lucifer chuckled softly and smiled. “I am way too old for either of you beautiful women and besides it wouldn’t work out too well unless it was a roommate sort of situation. I’m as gay as Neil Patrick Harris.” He turned to look at Mary. “Remind me to get back at your uncle somehow for getting me hooked on How I Met Your Mother, by the way.”

“I told you.” Said the quiet girl. “Cute ones our age are married, gay, or serial killers.”

Lucifer laughed warmly. “I’m married and gay, but not a serial killer, and definitely not your age. I’m fifty-four.”

“Uncle Dean says Mommy is older than dirt.” Mary Rose announced, clearly proud of herself for sharing.

“I have to say, your husband is a lucky bastard because you are one fine silver fox.” The brazen one said with a smile before her friend tugged her away, apologizing to Lucifer.

Lucifer chuckled and watched them wander off before looking back at Mary. “Silver fox… hmm, and I’ve been calling your father that all this time.” He hummed as he began the trek back up to the front.

Mary Rose looked at her father quizzically, tilting her head back and forth. “You don’t have fox ears so why did she call you that?”

Lucifer laughed happily. “Silver fox is a term used to describe a man who’s aging well.” He explained.

“Be more fun if you had big ears.” She said as she mimed fox ears on her head.

Lucifer laughed and nodded. “I think we like my wings, though.” He said, pulling into the shortest check out and began to unload the cart.

Chapter 2

Life rolled on for the Winchester’s and their family. Dean was a little greyer, as was Sam but they rarely felt their age because the children kept them on their toes. Some days it took all five adults to keep up with the twins after they turned four and Mary Rose’s increasingly volatile mood swings. Sam and his husbands often spoke of how quickly the kids were growing and that it wouldn’t be long before Mary Rose leaped over the important hurdle in her life, puberty. A fact that Dean remained in firm denial over. He loathed thinking about what Mary Rose growing up would bring. He mainly feared when she’d reach dating age and was thankful they were years away from worrying about that. So he was content to have his niece shadow him around and generally be his ‘little buddy’.

Today he was on what he affectionately referred to as “Rosemary Duty”, which was really his excuse to spend time with his niece without Lucifer looking over his shoulder with a disapproving glare when he used off-color language, or let her have a slice of pie before dinner. He’d planned on picking her up from school early and taking her out for a little while, even though he didn’t have a firm plan as of yet.

Having called the school earlier to get her excused, Dean walked into the office to collect her. He spent the short time waiting playfully flirting with the school secretary like he always did when he had to come in when Mary Rose’s parents couldn’t.

Mary came into the office, smile at getting out early turning into a grin as she saw her uncle, and she ran to him. “Hey, Uncle Dean!” She said, hugging him happily.

“There’s my girl. You ready for your appointment?” Dean asked her with a wink that went unseen by the office staff.

Mary nodded, putting on a slight frown. “I don’t wanna go to the dentist, though.” She pouted.

Dean sighed and steered her toward the door. “No one likes the dentist, but we all have to endure him from time to time.” He shot a parting wave at the secretary and let the door swing shut behind them. “Don’t look back and keep walking. They call your Dad and I’m toast.” He said quietly to his niece.

“Are you doing ‘Rosemary Duty’ again?” Mary whispered back, doing exactly as her uncle asked. “Mom nearly killed you the last time you did this.”

“Your mom is elbows deep in Christmas cookies and the twins learning to fly, so let me worry about him and get your butt in Baby or I can take you back to Algebra class,” Dean said as they neared the final exit.

“Please don’t put me back in algebra,” Mary grumbled. “Wait. Why isn’t Papa baking? He loves making Christmas cookies. Or is he running interference on teaching my brothers to fly with Mom?”

“Last I checked Speedy was using his new ability to hover to steal cookies and Big Man was the distraction. So yeah, Gabe’s helping Sam wrangle the kids because your Mom about flipped his shit after it happened the fourth time.” Dean explained.

Mary giggled. “Did one of my dad’s have to lock Mom in the observatory after that?” She asked, knowing her mother went there when he needed to “decompress”. She wondered if that was his way of saying he needed sex. They had learned about it in school and all of her parents were really good at answering any questions she may have had but it was still awkward talking to boys about this.

“A quick walk in the garden, but I hightailed it out thinking it’d be better to hang out with my favorite niece instead of being strangled by Christmas cheer.” They made it out to the car and Dean opened the passenger door for her. “I think we need pie and a round of chocolate milk. What do you think?”

“Yes!! Can we get French silk pie?” Mary asked, climbing into the passenger door. She had been craving chocolate to the point of contemplating the consequences of trying to find and steal from her parents’ stashes.

“Hell yes, you can. Hope you’re not offended if I get the pumpkin.” Dean said before closing the door and going to get behind the wheel.

“Not at all!” Mary said, happy about getting what she wanted and she buckled up. She stretched and threw her backpack into the back seat.

Dean turned the key and the ignition roared to life. He revved his baby a few times as he grinned at Mary Rose. “Ready, Han?”

Mary laughed. “Ready, Chewie! Throw it into hyperdrive!”

Stomping on the gas, the Impala zoomed out of the parking lot. Once they were off school property, Dean cranked up the music and bobbed his head in time with the beat, singing off-key in his enthusiastic sing-along to Metallica.

Mary laughed and sang along with her uncle, delighted to be out of school; ignoring the headache and the feeling she got when she ran with Daddy Sam too long in her stomach, just enjoying some good old fun with her favorite Uncle.

A short while later Dean escorted Mary Rose into their favorite diner. Dean waved at the waitress and tapped the side of his nose to let her know they were there on the sly. The older woman smiled and shook her head in amusement. She didn’t know many men who’d spend time with their daughter’s, let alone an uncle, like Dean did with Mary Rose.

“Okay, Rosemary. Pie and Chocolate milk, right?” Dean asked as he slipped into a booth.

“Yes!!” Mary said excitedly.

The waitress, already knowing what they’d be ordering, brought over a tall chocolate milk and a cup of coffee. “Dean, you really gotta stop letting this girl play hooky. You’re gonna get her Daddy mad for sure.”

“Which one, and it’s not her fathers I’m worried about, it’s her mother.” Dean chuckled. “But they’re busy at home with Christmas baking and her brothers, who have learned to work together to steal Lucifer’s cookies, so I escaped. And it’s been a while since I’ve been alone with my niece.”

Mary giggled and tugged her chocolate milk towards her, beaming at her uncle.

The waitress sighed wistfully as she thought back to her own children when they were young. “I remember those days. Thought I was going to have a stroke with trying to keep up.” She focused back on the pair and smiled. “You both want a salad, right? Or maybe some nice healthy chicken soup.”

“Funny, Gladys,” Dean said. “We want our usual but Rosemary wants some French Silk and I’ll take pumpkin.”

“Spoiled,” Gladys said as she jotted down the order. “Both of you.” Tucking the pen away, she wandered off to get their order.

Dean picked up his coffee cup and took a sip. “Now that we’re alone, tell me what’s new with you. School going okay?”

“School’s going fine.” Mary hummed, sipping her chocolate milk. “I hate math.”

“Why? You’re good at it.” Dean sat down his cup and leaned forward on his elbows. “I’ve seen the report cards you bring home.”

“Because it’s so easy and no one else gets it!” Mary pouted. “And my teacher doesn’t like the fact that I can do it in my head and not on paper, or that if I use a calculator I don’t show all my steps. Do I really need to show that two plus two equals four?”

Dean shrugged, “Maybe it’s the teacher who needs to see the work so she can figure out if you’re right. I failed math, so I have no clue.”

Mary groaned. “It’s just so dumb and easy. Mom teaches me harder things than this!”

“Guess that means we’re going to have to get your folks to talk to the school. Get you into something that won’t bore you to tears.” Dean sipped at his cup and glanced up with a smile when Gladys returned their pie. Once she’d gone, he continued. “I’ll even talk to them for you if you want.”

“Thanks, Uncle Dean,” Mary said with a warm smile, licking her lips at the sight of her pie and tugging it close to her.

Dean picked up his fork and reached across the table to snatch one of the chocolate curls from the top of Mary Rose’s pie and popping it in his mouth. He gave her a wink before digging into his own pie.

Mary pouted and began eating her own pie before getting out of her booth. “I’ll be right back, got to use the head.” She told him. Seeing his nod, she ran into the bathroom and locked her stall before unzipping her jeans and pulling them down with her underwear.

There was blood.

She leaned down and got her phone out and texted Dean. Uncle Dean, I think I need a quarter... She said, her hands shaking.

Dean heard his phone go off and he checked the message. Frowning at Mary’s note, he typed out a quick question on why she’d need quarters in a bathroom.

Groaning, Mary leaned her head against the stall. Uncle, she typed back, I need a quarter to purchase something in the ladies room unless you got stuff in Baby I can use.

Confused by her response, Dean got up from the table and headed to the ladies bathroom. Giving a quick look around to make sure he wasn’t being watched, he slipped inside and prayed Mary Rose was alone. “Hey kiddo, you okay in there?” He asked as he approached the only stall with a shut door.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Mary groaned. “Just... Do we have anything for, um….” She trailed off, blushing furiously.

“For what?” Dean asked.

“Forwomenwhobleed,” Mary said in a rush.

Dean took a moment to process the jumble of sounds before his eyes widened, “Bleeding..as in..oh...OH! Um…,” He rambled as he looked around the room. Seeing the sanitary napkin dispenser on the wall he fished a couple of quarters out of his pocket but then cursed when he saw the out of order sign. “Dammit..um, Mary the thing’s broken. You don’t have anything in your bag?”

“Uncle Dean, this is my first and Mom projected I wouldn’t start for another year.” Mary moaned. Fuck. “Cramps hurt. ”

“Okay, let’s just think for a sec.” Dean really didn’t want to call anyone at the bunker just because of the simple fact he didn’t want to get an ass chewing for helping Mary Rose play hooky, so he’d have to improvise. He thought about everything he had in the car available to him and his eyes lit up with inspiration. “A wound. Hey, Rosemary. Pull up your pants and come outside to the car. I think I got something for you.”

“What?” Mary asked, pulling up both and flushing before heading out. “Let me wash my hands.”

“Gauze. I mean that’s what girl stuff is made out of essentially, right?” Dean asked as he stepped back to let her get to the sink.

“I suppose.” Mary shrugged, washing her hands and drying them. “Let’s go.”

Dean opened the door for her and was met with a sour-faced woman who looked like she was about to say something about a man being in the women's bathroom. “Emergency, couldn’t be helped.” He placed a hand on Mary Rose’s shoulder and ushered her out of the room.

Mary turned and stuck her tongue out at the woman’s back before walking closer to her uncle. “Can we get the pie to go?” She asked. “I don’t feel too good.”

“Sure, anything you need.” Dean said as he passed their table and a confused Gladys, “Hey Hun? Can you box up our stuff, we gotta head out ahead of schedule.”

Mary leaned into Dean, grimacing. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave her a little hug. “Come on, Princess. Let’s get you fixed up and home.” He said quietly to his niece.

Mary nodded and hugged him back. “What are you gonna tell Mom?” She asked quietly as they walked out to the car.

“You were attacked by a ghoul?” Dean tried to tease, maybe only half-serious as he opened the trunk and rooted around for the first aid kit. “More than likely I’m telling him and your dads what happened and how. No way around it.”

Mary groaned. “Great.”

Dean pulled out several compress bandages and some heavy gauze and stuffed it into her pocket. “How do you think I feel?” He asked. “I just witnessed the little girl I bounced on my knee start...you know.” Dean turned a slight shade of pink and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah, Mom’s gonna love that.” Mary chuckled softly. “He’s gonna laugh his ass off and you’re gonna try to sic Uncle Cas on him while Papa steals cookies.”

“I don’t sic Cas on Luci’. Cas does that on his own.” Dean turned her toward the diner and gave her a little shove. “Go patch up and I’ll meet you out here.”

Mary nodded. Heading back into the diner, she slid into the bathroom and put a few pieces of gauze and compress bandages inside her panties, groaning at the bending over motion making her cramps start back up. She washed her hands and headed back out to the car, giving a weak wave at Gladys before crawling into the front seat of the Impala.

Dean was waiting in his seat and when Mary Rose got in, he opened up his arm for her to scoot closer. “Come here.”

Mary scooted into Dean’s arm and rested her head on his shoulder.

He hugged her to him and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me for this.”

“It’s fine, not sure anyone else would’ve handled it as well,” Mary mumbled.  

“Maybe your mom or Gabe. Sammy would have been just as bad as me.” Dean took a deep breath and patted her arm. “I’m not ready for you to be grown up, Rosemary. Not at all.”

“I don’t think anyone is,” Mary mumbled.

Dean pulled back and looked at her with a serious expression. “Then it’s settled. You’re going to stop growing up and stay our little girl forever.”

Mary giggled. “Don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Wanna bet? I’m sure we got a book or ointment for it.” Dean teased.

“I somehow think Mom and Daddies won’t approve.” Mary giggled, hugging her uncle.

Sighing, Dean pulled away and moved to start the car. “Damned killjoys.”

Mary smiled and lay down next to her uncle, using his thigh as a pillow. “Thanks, Uncle Dean.”

“You’re welcome, Rosemary,” Dean said as he made what felt like the longest drive home.

.oOo.

Lucifer had his arms crossed over his chest as he stood in front of the door like a sentinel when he saw Mary and Dean get out of the Impala together. A smear of flour-covered his cheeks and his apron was covered in cookie dough. He dropped his arms when he noticed Mary walking slower and in pain. “Princess, are you okay?” He asked in concern.

“Take it easy, Luci. She’s having a rough afternoon, so take out your disapproval on me.” Dean said in quick defense of his niece.

“What happened?” Lucifer asked, wrapping his daughter in his arms.

Dean waved his hand in Mary’s direction and tried to find the right words but failed miserably, instead he settled for. “We needed to get creative with the first aid kit.”

Lucifer raised a brow.

Groaning, Dean rubbed his face in exasperation. “Her monthly thing.”

“Mom, I just want to go to bed and see if we got stuff,” Mary said plaintively.

“There should be some underneath the bathroom sink.” Lucifer soothed, running his hands up and down her arms and kissing her forehead. “If not, ask your father to make a supply run. We should have both pads and tampons. I’ll be in in a little bit with a hot water bottle and some ibuprofen, alright?”

Nodding, she headed to her room leaving Lucifer alone with Dean. The hunter squared his shoulders and held up his hand. “Now, before you start in about anything, aren’t you glad I was there, to begin with? I mean, she could have started at school and then it would have been like the opening scene in Carrie.”

“I don’t think it would’ve been that bad.” Lucifer chuckled, rolling his eyes. “She knew what was happening, unlike Carrie, and you were smart enough to improvise.” He sighed. “For this time only, you get a pass on letting her play hooky. This time only. ”

“Oh come on, Luci, the kid deserves a little fun,” Dean argued. “She’s so ahead in her classes that she’s bored, so getting pulled out for a ‘doctor’s appointment’ once in a while doesn’t hurt.”

“Dean, the last time you yanked her out of school, she missed a test.” Lucifer reminded him.

“Which she still passed.” Dean pointed out.

“I just don’t want her to develop bad habits for later when she gets into high school and then her college years.” Lucifer sighed. “That’s all. Can you fault me for that?”

“No,” Dean admitted as he shoved his hands in his jean pockets. “She’s growing up so fast and someday she won’t want to hang out with me anymore. I’ll be the old man she tolerates and begs for help when she’s in trouble. I just wanted to have something special with her. Something she’ll remember when I’m gone or she’s off to college.”

Lucifer nodded. “I know the feeling,” he agreed. “How about this. Once a month, you’re allowed to take her out of school for a day of hooky. You can get Rosemary Duty and I won’t have to scream at you.”

Dean squinted at his brother in law, a half-smile formed. “And we can go anywhere we want? Do anything we want, without that mommy look you get?”

“As long as it’s not illegal. Taking her out for shooting, or to go get pie, or anything like that is fine. Maybe on those days, you can teach her how to drive.” Lucifer gave a small smile in return. “BUT, in return, I want beers on the roof after those days.”

“Aww, the romance isn’t dead.” Dean teased. Clapping Lucifer on the shoulder, he headed toward his room. “Don’t forget the chocolate. I’ve heard girls like chocolate.”

Lucifer smiled and nodded, waving Dean off before heading into the kitchen to grab a hot water bottle, some fudge he had managed to make, and some painkillers to help his daughter. “Sam? Last supply run, you picked up feminine hygiene products, yes?” He called out.

Sam blinked owlishly as he looked up from his book. “Feminine what now?”

“Hygiene. Products.” Lucifer enunciated slowly. “You know, pads and tampons? You did get those, right?”

“No.” Sam seemed a bit confused as he regarded his mate. “They weren’t on the list and last time I checked we didn’t use them. Except for that one time in Florida, but that was special circumstances.”

Lucifer groaned. “Then, please go get some?” He asked with a soft pout. “Because now there’s someone here who DOES use them. And will be needing them every month.”

Eventually catching on, Sam’s eyes widened. “No! It can’t be… she’s just a little girl.”

“She started up today,” Lucifer said with a shrug. “I was thinking she’d have another year, but evidently not. Now, quick, to the store, she’s probably already bled through the gauze Dean handed her. Smallest size tampons, U by Kotex is good from what I heard, and they come in neon colors. They also have pads. Shoo.”

“But…” Sam reluctantly got up for his jacket. “I don’t know about this stuff. Even with Jess, I was tasked with food runs.”

Lucifer took a deep breath before calling for his brother. “GABRIEL!”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going.” Sam huffed as Gabriel showed up.

“Going where?” The younger angel asked.

“The store,” Lucifer said. “I know you didn’t say you weren’t going, Sam, I’m enlisting help. Gabe, help Sam find the pads and tampons. The stuff in the neon colors, U by Kotex. Got that? The smallest size for the tampons.”

“So it’s happened,” Gabriel said and then with a flourish of overdramatic stage performers, he lifted his arms to the ceiling. “Behold! The blood sacrifice!”

“Gabe!” Sam admonished as he tugged him toward the door. “I’m not going to tell you how many levels of wrong that is.”

“But it was funny.” Gabriel could be heard right before the door slammed behind them.

Taking a deep breath, Lucifer made his way back to his daughter’s room, warming up the water bottle a tad. “Your fathers went to go buy the stuff, Princess.” He said, resting the bottle against her stomach and handing her some chocolate and sparkling water. “It’s important to stay hydrated, and it’s your favorite sparkling water.”

“Not hungry. Just wanna puke. Then die.” Mary Rose mumbled as she rolled over to her side, clutching the water bottle to her stomach.

“Well, I’ll leave the chocolate on your bedside table, but I want you to drink some water,” Lucifer said soothingly.

Mary Rose turned over and wrapped her arms around Lucifer’s waist, pillowing her head in his lap. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Of course, Princess.” Lucifer smiled, running his fingers through her hair.

Chapter 3

“Would you two calm down?” Gabriel said calmly as he watched Dean and Lucifer pacing back and forth while trying to anticipate Sam’s next move on the chessboard. “It’s not even ten yet and you’re acting like Mary’s run off with that boyfriend of hers.”

Sam gave Gabriel a knowing look and shook his head, knowing that neither of them would be content until their daughter returned home.

“We are calm! Look at us, we’re very calm!” Lucifer said, gesturing to himself and Dean. He was wearing black sweatpants and a grey T-Shirt that read Only an Angel One Day a Year. “Aren’t we calm, Dean?”

“Hell no, I ain’t calm!” Dean exclaimed as he checked his watch for the third time in that quarter-hour. “No telling what they’re up to. I remember being sixteen and what I got up to. Boys haven’t changed that much.”

Snorting, Sam moved his queen and gave Gabriel a gloating look when he cornered his mate’s knight. “I doubt that Eric could get it up after the way you talked to him last week, Dean. Add Lucifer’s glare and the boy may be impotent for life.”

“Let us rephrase,” Lucifer said, grabbing Samson as the now eight-year-old ran by and picked him up. Turning him upside down much to the kid’s delight, he continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “We have both been young before, and trust me, she’s my kiddo. I remember what kind of Hell I got into when I was the angel equivalent of that age. I was a hellraiser even back then; Mary’s the same way. Wouldn’t take much on her part for her to convince Eric that her daddies, uncles, and mama would never know.”

“That’ll help Dean calm down,” Gabriel grumbled right before the door to the bunker screeched open and then slammed shut.

Lucifer’s head perked up as if he were a dog, and he looked at Dean. “Princess, is that you?” he asked casually.

Mary Rose quickly adjusted her collar a bit higher to try and conceal the bruising hickey on her neck before coming down the stairs, her skirt pulled to mid-thigh for her family's benefit. “Yeah, Mom. It’s me.” She called out.

“Did you behave?” Lucifer asked.

“Of course.” She replied sweetly. “No cops or bank robberies.”

“Welcome home, Gumdrop. Have a good time?” Gabriel asked, moving his chess piece then shouting in triumph. He’d finally put Sam in checkmate.

Lucifer shook his head and went to go drop Samson in bed again. “You, Mister, have school in the morning.”

“I did, Daddy. But I’m tired so I’m going to hit the hay.” Mary Rose said as she edged her way to the hallway that led to her room.

Dean had been watching his niece with a keen eye. She was acting stranger than her usual. He caught Sam’s gaze and nodded toward her, hoping his brother would do something. Ask questions.

Sam watched his brother for a moment then regarded his daughter as she started for the hall. “Hey, Princess. I have a quick question for you.” He said as he got up from his chair.

Mary Rose froze in place and slowly turned to face her father. “Yeah?”

He got close to her and stuffed his hands in his pockets, the question in his mind making him slightly uneasy but Sam felt it was necessary to know. “Did you use protection?”

“W-what?” She stammered, obviously nervous under the scrutiny.

“You heard me,” Sam said patiently.

Gabriel leaned back in his chair and folded his hands in his lap as he watched his daughter. “It’s a valid question.”

Mary Rose chewed on her bottom lip nervously. “We didn’t do...that.”

“That? But you did do something.” Dean said as he stalked over to the table to grab his keys. “Gonna kill the boy. Won’t take long.”

“Hang on, Dean,” Lucifer called, having heard what was going on when he entered the room after getting Samson back in bed. “Let’s figure out what they did before the murder happens. At least there was no sex.” He rested his hands on Mary’s shoulders gently, brushing against the blossoming hickey with his thumb. “Now, Mary, what did you and Eric do?”

Mary Rose jerked away from Lucifer and took a step back, glaring at each of the men in turn. “Why should I tell you? So Uncle Dean can shoot him?!”

“No, Princess. We’re just...concerned is all.” Sam said from Lucifer’s side. “We just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“Stop calling me that!” Mary Rose yelled. “I’m not a little girl anymore and it’s creepy that you want details.”

“Mary!” Gabriel said sternly and started to rise from his chair. “Don’t talk to us like that. Not when we’re trying to have a reasonable conversation with you.”

“Stay out of this, Dad!” Mary Rose snapped. “Just leave me alone!” She turned on her heels and ran back to her room, slamming the door hard enough that it echoed back to the men left in the Map Room.

Lucifer sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ll go talk to her in a little bit.” He said.

“Won’t help,” Dean said aside and flopped into a nearby chair while smirking at his stunned baby brother. “She’s Sam all over again. Doesn’t mean I still won’t wring that twerp, Eric’s, neck.”

“Not helping, Dean.” Gabriel scolded as he went to Lucifer and wrapped his arms around him. “It’s just a phase, Sweetheart.”

“Is it?” Lucifer wondered, wrapping an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders.

“Maybe she’s possessed.” Sam offered when he finally broke his silence.

Castiel wandered out of the hallway, looking perplexed as he kept glancing over his shoulder. “That would explain the howling coming from her room but I didn’t detect the taint of hellspawn.”

“No, that’s the cry of a teenager throwing a tantrum.” Dean offered as an explanation.

Castiel nodded and sat beside Dean. “I think I’d rather fly into Hell again by the sound of it.”

Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose and heaved a sigh. “And this is the part I never got to with Castiel, and right now, I’m mildly thankful.” He cast a sly glance at his eldest. “Although with you, it would’ve been easier. You just would’ve ignored me.”

He waited a few minutes longer before standing up and making long strides to Mary’s room. Knocking twice, he said, “Mary Rose Winchester-Novak-Morningstar, you will let your mother in or you’re grounded.” He said softly.

Mary Rose glanced toward her door and shoved another pair of jeans into her duffel bag. She was angry at all of them for embarrassing her. In her eyes, she'd done nothing wrong. She loved Eric and if they wanted to fool around it was her business. The whole situation with her Uncles, Dads, and Mom was irritating. It was like they didn't trust her even though they kept saying they did.

“Mary Rose,” Lucifer warned. “I’m coming in here, one way or another, and I’d prefer to do it with your permission rather than by force.” He took a deep breath. “We were all young once. We know what kids do. We don’t want you to get hurt. We care that if you’re having sex that you and your partner are being safe about it. Hence the question about protection.”

“Butt out of it, Mom!” She yelled through the door. Turning to her dresser, she grabbed her favorite stuffed animal given to her by Gabriel and shoved it in her bag.

Lucifer sighed and opened the door and closed it quickly. “No.” His eyes glanced over to the duffle before looking at her. “Mary...”

Snorting dismissively, Mary Rose grabbed the strap and hoisted the bag to her shoulder and tried to push her way past Lucifer. “I'm getting out of here and going someplace where I don't have the four of you breathing down my neck over every little thing.”

Lucifer refused to move. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “No, you’re not.” He said calmly.

She jerked out of his hold and glared up at him. “What do you care? You got Samson and William. Your perfect little angels. So just leave us regular people alone!”

“Because then who would I have to sing with?” Lucifer asked calmly. “Who would Gabriel stay up late to bake cookies with? Who would Sam have to be his research helper? And Uncle Castiel to take care of the bees with? And Uncle Dean? Where would he be without his co-pilot?”

“I don't care!” Mary Rose's eyes started to fill with tears. “You all treat me like a little kid. Like what I have with Eric is something that's wrong or...that he's gonna hurt me. But he doesn't and wouldn't. I love him and he loves me.”

“Mary,” Lucifer said softly, firmly, tilting his daughter’s chin up to have her look at him, “I am not denying that you love Eric, or that he loves you. I see the way he looks at you, and it makes me happy that you found someone who makes you feel the same way I do about your fathers. But you are young. When I was young, I made the wrong choice in a husband. And it cost me so much, Mary. It cost me Gabriel, who ran away when our fights became too much. It cost me Castiel, whom I was helping raise and whom I love like a son.” He took a deep breath. “It cost me my freedom, for many, many years. And not just all of it was my ex’s fault. A big, big portion of it was mine.” He stroked her hair from her face. “Do you blame me for wanting to protect you from the mistakes I made? And how right now, I feel like that day when Gabriel ran away?”

“News flash, Lucifer. I'm not you!” She said as she threw her bag to the floor. The use of his given name was something she knew would hurt him, especially coming from her.

“No, you’re not.” Lucifer agreed. “You are your own person, who can make your own decisions. But those decisions can be flawed. Believe me, I know. Nobody’s perfect, though we may try. What I’m saying is,” He sighed heavily, “If you want to do things with Eric, that is fine. You’re legally allowed to do so. I just want you to be careful. Is that so wrong?”

“And Uncle Dean?” She asked defiantly and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Uncle Dean only wants what is best for you, be that different from what you feel,” Lucifer said calmly. “He’s always protective of his family. You should’ve heard the ruckus he made when he caught your father in bed with Gabriel and I. I’m fairly certain that you could hear shouting on the other side of the world from that. And yes, he did threaten harm to me and Gabriel.” He sighed. “Your uncle in his younger days slept around, and really didn’t care whose feelings he hurt, as long as he got his dick wet.”

Mary Rose scrunched her face in disgust. “Mom! I don't want to hear about Uncle Dean’s junk.”

“No one except Uncle Castiel wants to hear about your uncle’s junk.” Lucifer chuckled. “The point is, your uncle was a slut, once upon a time, and knows how he was at your age. Boys don’t change much from generation to generation. And we want you to be safe, and careful. Personally, we’d all be hypocrites if we said don’t have sex at your age- except for maybe Uncle Castiel. Because we all did. We just want you to be safe, healthy, and not rush into it.”

With a heavy sigh, Mary Rose turned and dropped on to the end of her bed. Her mom had a lot of good points and even though she was still upset, Mary Rose could admit that she'd miss her family. Especially considering how her night with Eric really went. “He didn't want to at first. He said that Daddy scared him more than Uncle Dean.” She started to confess quietly. “But we talked and then...more. And it felt good...at first.”

“At first?” Lucifer questioned, sitting down next to her. “That’s not good. It’s supposed to hurt and then feel good. Not the other way around.”

“I know, but he just used his fingers and you know how you said that it was supposed to be…” She looked to Lucifer and nodded to her lap, “Down there? It was kinda the opposite toward the end and he was really rough by the time he finished.”

“Ooohhhh.” Lucifer nodded. “Yes, that would cause the reverse effect. Did you let him know that you were hurting?”

“No.” She muttered as she started to scrape off her chipped nail polish. “Didn't want him to think I didn't like him.”

Lucifer nodded and sighed. “You are more like me than I would imagine, I’ve done the same.” He admitted. “But in sexual situations, communication is oh so important. Very important.”

“But…” She started, “He's older and I don't want to sound like a crybaby about this stuff.”

“He’s... older?” Lucifer said, looking at her. “How much older?”

Mary Rose shrunk down in the spot she sat and avoided her mother’s gaze.“Eighteen and graduating this spring.” She admitted in a small voice.

Lucifer breathed again. “Okay, for future reference, don’t say older, because I had a horrible vision of him being like twenty-five... or older.”

“Ew, gross. I wouldn't date someone that old. They'd have old man butts.” She protested.

Lucifer laughed. “You’re already doing better than your momma, then. And your father.”

“You're not going to tell them, are you? Daddy and Uncle Dean. They really would kill him.”

“His age is safe with me unless your uncle’s listening at the door, which he would do because he’s a nosy bastard,” Lucifer said.

“No, I'm not!” A gruff voice that suspiciously sounded like Dean, came through the door quickly followed by three distinct shushing noises.

Mary Rose looked to Lucifer in horror and tugged at the end of her ponytail, a nervous habit that none of them had been able to break her of. “Mom?” She whispered.

The door opened and it appeared as if Dean were bodily shoved into the room by Gabriel, Sam, and Castiel. The older hunter stumbled a step or two then turned a quick scowl at the trio before turning to his niece and Lucifer. “Hey Rosemary, um...I was told that the way I reacted earlier was…” He trailed off as if in search of the right word.

“Overbearing.” Sam supplied helpfully.

“Violent,” Castiel added.

“Dick like.” Gabriel finished with a smirk to Lucifer. “A big one for a change.”

Lucifer gave a dirty look to Gabriel and he hugged Mary close. “We all may have been a little overbearing.” He admitted. “Uncle Dean just takes it to extremes.”

Dean knelt down in front of his niece and took her hand. “I’m sorry, Princess. It’s just hard for me to think of you doing things like that when you’re always going to be the little ankle-biter who begged me for horsey rides and to play tea party.”

“I’m not little.” Mary Rose muttered against Lucifer’s shoulder.

“Don’t we friggin’ know it,” Gabriel said as he leaned against the door frame. “I think we all got that message loud and clear.”

Sam sat beside her and rubbed her shoulder with small movements. “We worry about you, Mary. But I can promise that we’ll try to treat you more like an adult if you try to act a little more adult about things. Especially when it comes to boys.”

“Which means,” Castiel continued, “You are to take care of yourself in all respects and have no fear in ever telling your partner no.”

“And that includes even in the middle of it,” Lucifer said. “Communication is key. You can be all the way naked and he could be getting ready to go to pound town and you could be like ‘no’. And he should, if he’s a gentleman, follow through on that.”

Dean and Mary Rose groaned in tandem at Lucifer’s word choice. Gabriel started to snicker along with Castiel as Sam hung his head for a moment.

“Alright, it’s been a long night. Do you understand what we’re trying to say, Mary?” Sam finally asked.

Mary Rose nodded her head and leaned over to kiss Sam’s cheek. “I’m sorry I was a brat, Daddy. It won’t happen again.”

“You’re forgiven. Now, hit the shower and go to bed.” Sam said as he got up. “Sweet dreams, Princess.”

Mary Rose hugged each of the men, in turn, apologizing and wishing them goodnight, eventually leaving her alone once again with Lucifer. “I’m sorry for being cruel to you too, Mom.” She said as she hugged him tightly.

Lucifer hugged her back just as tightly. “It’s alright, Princess. I understand. I think I said some choicer words to my father when he caught me fooling around.” He said, kissing her forehead. “Just try to understand we only want to help you, and protect you okay? Not that we’re a bunch of old perverted men.”

“Yes, you are. You just don’t think I know.” Mary Rose teased, flashing him a smile remarkably like Lucifer’s when he thought he was being clever. “You and Papa should really soundproof the walls.”

Lucifer flushed lightly. “I’m buying you earplugs.” He said. “And soundproofing the walls.” He tucked her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead. “Now, unpack, shower, and get to bed, and there should be brand new concealer in your drawer if you need it.” He said casually.

“Thanks, Mom.” Mary Rose hopped up from the bed and grabbed her things for the bathroom before disappearing through the door. Maybe it wasn’t such a terrible thing to have five men who all thought they were your father after all.

Chapter 4

Mary Rose entered the bunker through the garage instead of the front door, tears streaming down her face and slamming every door she came across. She stormed through the library where they’d set up their living room and violently shoved one of the library chairs out of her way.

Lucifer looked up from his translation after Mary shoved the chair out and he raised a brow. “Umm, Mary?” He asked quietly, noticing the way she looked. “Is there something you need to talk about, or do you want to decompress before you do?”

“I fucking hate men!” She yelled and stomped off to her room.

Gabriel, who’d looked up from his movie gave his brother a puzzled look. “That can’t be good.”  

“Oh, it’s not.” Lucifer agreed, cracking his back as he stretched. “But until she’s calmed down some, we’re not going to be able to do much.”

Mary Rose came back in the room, her chest heaving as she barely contained her sobs. “I hate him, Papa. I hate him!”

Lucifer got up and wrapped his arms and a set of wings around her gently, holding her close. “What did Eric do?” He asked softly.

Gabriel got up and walked over to his brother and daughter. “Why do you hate him?”

She buried her face in Lucifer’s chest, using it as a handkerchief to wipe away her tears. “He dumped me. He fucked me and dumped me.”

Gabriel looked at Lucifer. “That does it. I’m going to go talk to an Asgardian goddess, and I’m going to have one of them bring down unholy judgment. And then let me at him.”

“No, Gabriel,” Lucifer said calmly, rubbing Mary’s arm soothingly. “Did he say why he dumped you, Princess?”

“He said…” She gasped between her tears, “I was bad at it. That he couldn’t be with me ‘cause I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Lucifer made a clucking noise of disapproval while Gabriel seethed with a snap of wings only Lucifer could see. “Gabriel, down,” Lucifer said in a soft, commanding tone.

“I will not come to heel like a dog. Did you-”

“Yes, I heard, but sounding like a rabid ‘dog’ will not help the situation.” Lucifer retorted.

“I want him dead!” Mary Rose spat out.

“I’m sure you do.” Gabriel grinned. “But death’s a far too kind punishment.”

“Gabriel.” Lucifer sighed plaintively. “Out of Tricksterland, back to the present.”

“But I was only going to pull a Dr. Lecter, Luci!”

“There are days I wonder if you’re my husband or my child,” Lucifer grumbled good-naturedly. He wiped away Mary’s tears. “How about this? Why don’t we go get some ice cream and curl up with movies and think of ways to torture Eric? Maybe not carry them out-”

“Spoilsport,” Gabriel mumbled.

“But discuss them.” Lucifer finished.

Mary Rose curled up tighter to Lucifer, tugging his shirt as she tightened and loosened her fist. “Okay.”

“Do you want to wear your fuzzy pajamas?” Lucifer asked gently, soothingly rubbing her back.

“And do you want my special hot chocolate?” Gabriel asked, reigning in his anger at the boy for her benefit and kissing the top of her head.

She nodded and looked to Gabriel with a slight shuffling to alleviate the uncomfortable ache her night had left behind. “And to stop hurting.”

“Where does it hurt, Gumdrop?” Gabriel asked softly.

“You know where.” She mumbled, her cheeks turning a shade of pink.

Gabriel raised a brow at Lucifer. “ She’s your daughter. No denying it. ” He snorted as he laid a healing hand on the top of her shoulder and let the grace trickle down to heal.

“ You shut your face, ” Lucifer grumbled, turning as pink as their daughter.

Letting out an audible sigh, Mary Rose pulled out of Lucifer’s hold and wiped her cheeks with her sleeve. “I’m gonna go take a shower before the movie if that’s okay with you guys.”

“Of course, Princess.” Lucifer soothed, kissing her temple.

Gabriel kissed her cheek. “It’s more than okay, Gumdrop.”

She looked up at her Mother with red-rimmed eyes and sniffled. “Can I use your special soap that smells like pomegranate?”

Lucifer smiled and nodded, kissing her forehead. “You may. Take as long as you need.”

Mary Rose returned his smile with a weaker one of her own and left her parents behind for a much-needed shower.

As soon as she was out of sight, Gabriel saw Lucifer’s expression darken and he held up a warning finger. “Now, Heylel...stay calm.”

Lucifer gave a snarl before twirling and slamming his fist into the stone behind him. Feeling it crumble beneath his knuckles he did it again with his other hand.

Gabriel grabbed Lucifer by the shoulders and tried to pull him back. “Heylel, stop!” He pleaded. “You’ll hurt the wall.”

“Good!” Lucifer hissed through gritted teeth as he punched the wall again, easily shrugging Gabriel off of him.

Gabriel made to try and stop his brother again when Sam walked in, returning from putting the twins to bed after seeing a movie with their uncles. Seeing his mate in a rage, Sam rushed forward and bodily pulled him away from the wall. “Lucifer, what happened?!”

Lucifer struggled against Sam. “Not my place to tell.” He said tersely. Managing to break free briefly, he took another swipe at the wall, the motion tearing open the skin on his knuckles.

Sam put himself between the wall and Lucifer, turning a panicked eye to Gabriel. “Someone had better tell me right now because you don’t fly off the handle for no reason.”

Lucifer growled. “Fine. Eric broke up with Mary after taking her virginity, may I continue punching the wall now?” He asked

“It’s true, the little pot licker said she wasn’t any good and left her hurting afterward,” Gabriel confirmed as left a restraining hand on Lucifer’s arm.

“He did what?” Sam snarled.

Lucifer jerked his arm out of Gabriel’s hold. “Yep. Sure did. She’s taking a shower and we’re going to curl up with ice cream and watch movies and talk about how to torture him after she’s done, but I can’t just keep this in.” He moved Sam gently out of the way and lifted his fist, aiming to punch again.

Sighing, but looking like he could kill, Sam motioned to the wall for Lucifer to proceed. “Just heal yourself and fix the wall before she comes out. I’ll be back. The boys are already in bed.”

“Where are you going?” Gabriel asked, his brows pulling together in confusion.

Sam didn’t say a word further, just stalked off to find Dean, grabbing the concealed pistol from above the door leading to the hall.

“Sam, no,” Lucifer called, giving another punch to the wall.

Sam cocked the gun and stuffed it into his waistband. “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything you wouldn’t do.”

“Okay, everyone needs to calm down. Right now.” Gabriel interjected, “If I’m not allowed to put him in an episode of Hannibal then you and Dean aren’t allowed to do whatever it is running through your head, Sam.”

“I am calm.” Lucifer protested, slamming his fist into the wall again. “I am remarkably calm.”

“Well, I’m not,” Sam said. “But I will be when I put the fear of God in that boy.”

“Who are we scaring?” Dean asked as he came in alone.

‘Eric, but later.” Lucifer said, withdrawing from the wall and letting his bloody knuckles hang to the side, not healing them.

Dean looked between the three of them, clearly confused. “What did the little asshat do?”

“Took advantage of Mary then broke up with her.” Sam quickly explained. “You and I are going to go teach him some manners.”

“But not now!” Lucifer hissed, waving bloodied hands around in agitation. “We’re going to comfort her, and then teach him a lesson. That’s how this works, idiots.”

Dean studied Sam for a moment as he listened to Lucifer. “He’s not wrong, Sammy. Nothing would make me happier right now that pounding that dickwad into the pavement but think how Mary would feel coming out, seeing Cas is home but we’re strangely missing. She’d know, man. Plus, this gives us time to think so we don’t end up in the slammer for assault.”

Lucifer leaned into Gabriel, suddenly feeling very weepy. His daughter was hurting, hurting in a way that felt very real to him, and after the anger was out he just wanted to cry.

Sam sighed and pulled the gun out of his pants, returning it to it’s hiding place. “You’re right. Which is weird to admit.”

Dean chuckled before looking at Lucifer, noticing the way he was drooping against Gabriel’s shoulder and hunching his own like he was about to cry. A drop of blood slid down Lucifer’s middle finger and onto the floor. “Umm... Luce?” He said hesitantly.

Lucifer just shrugged his shoulders into Gabriel, as if obscuring himself from view.

“Sweetheart, you gotta heal up and I’ll take care of the wall. Mary’s gonna be finished soon.” Gabriel said softly.

Lucifer slid more into Gabriel’s arms with a quiet sniffle.

“I’ll go get some ice cream,” Dean said, leaving the trio in the library turned living room.

“Come on, Luc’.” Sam turned Lucifer into his arms and led him to the couch. “I know this sucks, but we’re all gonna keep our cool for our princess, right?”

Lucifer nodded, burying his face into Sam’s neck. “Yeah.” He mumbled quietly.

Gabriel joined them after snapping the wall back to the way it was. Quickly conjuring a round of hot chocolate, he pressed a cup into Lucifer’s hand. “She had to go through a breakup at some point, Heylel. The circumstances are shit, but it’s a part of growing up.”

Lucifer nodded. “I know.” He whispered softly, almost hoarsely.

“I guess the important thing is that she’s home safe now. We’ll deal with things one at a time.” Sam said as much to soothe himself as the others. He was livid, but there was time enough to deal with that.

Lucifer nodded and leaned into Sam. He slowly looked up at Gabriel then hesitantly, as if he were nervous, he held his hands up to his brother to be healed.

Gabriel took his hand gently in his and bent down to kiss his battered knuckles, letting his grace flow from his lips to Lucifer and healing the wounds as if they were never there. When he was done, Gabriel smiled at his brother. “All better.”

Lucifer gave a small, watery smile. “Thank you.” He whispered softly.

“Anytime, Heylel.” Gabriel sat next to his brother and put a hand on his knee, squeezing it affectionately.

Lucifer smiled and looked up at his mates before looking over at the door and seeing Mary in her PJ’s. “Come on over to the cuddle pile, Princess,” he cooed.

Mary shuffled over and looked at Sam like she was afraid he was going to be mad at her. She’d already figured that he’d been told what happened when she saw him. Contrary to her fears, Sam opened up his free arm for her. With a wobble of her bottom lip, she all but launched herself into the taller man’s lap. “I’m sorry, Daddy.” She whispered against his neck.

Holding her tight, Sam sighed as he rubbed her arm. “Nothing to be sorry for, Mary. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Hell no, you didn’t,” Gabriel said as he held out a steaming mug of chocolate for her.

“You did nothing wrong,” Lucifer assured her. “I gotta be the embarrassing parent and ask, though. Did you, at the very least, use a condom?”

Mary Rose nodded as she took hold of her mug. “He didn’t want to but I told him he had to. Tried to use that line Uncle Dean told me about. The one about it not feeling as good.”

“Well, I’ll be honest, it doesn’t feel as good,” Lucifer admitted. “But they’re necessary, and a helluva lot better than the alternative. And it all depends on the condom. Different condom types, different types of pleasure.” He shrugged and sipped his hot chocolate.

Sam snorted in amusement. “What would you know about them? We’ve never used them.”

“I used them once or twice with Michael,” Lucifer said with a shrug. “Heaven’s got their own version, very similar to human ones. Also, honestly, Sam, did you think I’d never get laid in this vessel prior to you two?”

“Thought we agreed not to talk about that one time with that intern?” Gabriel asked.

Lucifer bit his lip and thought back. “Oh. Right. Her. Ummm... Not who I was thinking of.”

“Don’t fight.” Mary Rose grumbled and took a sip of her drink. “You’ll end up fighting if you talk about that stuff.”

“You’re right, we won’t talk about how your mother is a slut anymore,” Lucifer said, running his fingers through her hair.

Sam let out a sound that was akin to a growl. “You are not a slut. Having sex doesn’t make you a slut. Dean had sex in every state of this country and he’s not a slut.” He narrowed his eyes at Lucifer. “So from now on, that word is not to be used in this family. Got it?”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes right back at Sam. “Dean has yet to have sex in Hawaii because of planes, and Castiel hasn’t transported him there yet. Argument invalid. Also, I never said I was a slut for having sex; just for having a wide variety of multiple partners.”

Gabriel pressed his lips together to keep from laughing as he shared a look with Mary Rose who was biting hers to keep her giggles in.

“I don’t care if you porked your way through the U.S. Census, it’s a vile word that’s used far too often to put people down,” Sam argued. “You’re not winning this one, Heylel. So deal with it.”

Gabriel couldn’t take it anymore, he barked out a laugh and covered his eyes. “Porked, Sam? Really?”

“What? It’s better than boink.” Sam defended himself as Mary Rose started to giggle.

“Sure, Dad. That’s what all us kids say these days. Because it’s so cool to ‘ pork’ .”

Lucifer, maturely, stuck out his tongue and licked up the side of Sam’s face with it before snuggling down into him. “I love you anyway. Even if you don’t think I’m a slut and you say porked as a euphemism for fucking.”

“Is Sam using his ‘cool’ words again?” Dean teased as he entered the room with Castiel trailing behind, both of them with cartons of ice cream and spoons.

“Porked was never and will never be a ‘cool’ word.” Gabriel snorted as he sat up to relieve Dean of one of the cartons.

Mary Rose groaned at her family's antics. “Can we just admit that you’re all not cool?”

“What are you talking about? I’m totally cool. In fact, most people say I burn hot.” Lucifer said with a grin.

“When in fact you burn cold. Yeah, we’ve heard that joke before, Luci’.” Dean sat down in the chair next to the sofa. “Okay, thanks to Gabriel’s junk food habits, we have Rocky Road, Double Chocolate Fudge, Cookie Dough and Cherry. Who wants which?”

“Chocolate.” Mary Rose snagged the carton and a spoon, then curled back up in Sam’s lap.

“Already got cherry, and no I’m not sharing,” Gabriel said around a mouthful.

Castiel had followed Dean from the kitchen and sat on the floor between Dean’s knees, waving his hand at the cartons he’d arranged on the table. “I’m abstaining from sweets tonight.”

“Cookie dough for me,” Lucifer said, snagging the carton of ice cream and spoon for himself.

Mary Rose chewed thoughtfully on her ice cream as Sam shared the carton with her. “Can I ask something and you guys won’t get weird?”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Dean grumbled.

Castiel nudged his mate's knee to hush him and nodded. “I can’t speak for everyone, but you can ask and I won’t ‘get weird’.” He said, adding air quotes.

“Aren’t guys supposed to...you know-” Mary Rose glanced at Gabriel and Lucifer, then blushed. “Get you there first?”

Dean dropped his spoon into his ice cream and rolled his eyes in exasperation. “If this is going where I think it is, I’m going to beat his ass just for that.”

“Some guys don’t give a damn,” Lucifer admitted. “They’ll just chase after their own pleasure. But female orgasm is harder to obtain than male orgasm. It takes women twice as long and it requires more stimulation.”

“I ever tell you that it’s sexy when you go all textbook on us?” Gabriel waggled his eyebrows at his brother. “Remind me that I said that later.”

Sam shook his head in denial and scooped out more ice cream. “Nope, not talking about Lucifer being sexy when I’m holding Mary.”  

Castiel tilted his head and considered the question. “I found that if one was patient and unselfish, it’s not that difficult to assist a woman to completion. I’m assuming you’re speaking of Eric and from what Dean told me of him, he was neither and deserves every ounce of ire directed at him.”

“And there’s the keywords that most eighteen-year-old boys don’t think about. ‘Unselfish’ and ‘patience’.” Lucifer said with a shrug. “That separates boys from men.”

“Oh.” Mary Rose said quietly and turned back to her ice cream.

“Did he not perform adequately?” Castiel asked, genuinely curious and concerned for his niece.

Mary Rose’s eyes grew round as her blush increased. “Uncle Cas!”

Gabriel looked up at his daughter and shrugged. “It’s a valid question. We might be doing humankind a service by feeding him to a hellhound if he hadn’t.”

“Please, the hellhounds would spit him out.” Lucifer scoffed. “It’s also important to know because, well, he did take your virginity. He may’ve set the bar low.”

“I don’t know.” Mary Rose mumbled. “It happened so fast once we got to the… sex.”

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“He was a one pump chump?” Dean asked in exasperation. “Jeez, kid. That bar is so low it’s scraping the ground.”

Lucifer shook his head. “Thank you, God, for never giving me one-hit wonders for sexual partners. Amen.”

Mary Rose snickered and slid off Sam’s lap to wedge herself between Lucifer and her Papa. “So I guess it’s a good thing he broke up with me.”

Gabriel sat his ice cream carton on the coffee table and nodded. “It was rude the way he did it, but yeah. You were lucky, Gumdrop.”

Lucifer nodded and leaned into Mary and smiled softly. “Very lucky. And we’re proud of you for telling him he couldn’t have sex unless he put a condom on. Thank you for being safe.”

Shrugging, she laid her head on Lucifer’s shoulder. “Better than oral again. Cum tastes awful.”

Lucifer laughed loudly and happily. “Yep, good thing you broke up with him.” He chuckled. “Yes, it does, with some. However, pineapple helps with that. Mangoes too.”

Dean started choking on his ice cream and started to glare at Lucifer. “Okay, I’m calling it. I’m all for talking openly about sex with everyone but can we not talk about the flavor of cum like we’re discussing sports?”

Lucifer smirked at Dean and shrugged. “Why? Afraid yours doesn’t taste good?” He teased, winking at his brother in law playfully.

“Rosemary, cover your ears,” Dean warned. Mary Rose looked at her uncle like she couldn’t believe he was asking her to do such a juvenile thing but did it anyway. Dean waited a moment and addressed Lucifer. “From what I remember you didn’t seem to mind it.”

Sam’s eyes went as round as teacups. “Okay, now I’m calling it. We are definitely not getting into this.”

“I never said yours didn’t taste good, but then again I never got a proper taste, not with you manhandling me,” Lucifer said casually.

Gabriel saw the old jealousy rising up in Sam even though the human was concealing it well. Leaning forward he whispered to his brother. “Luci. Stop.”

“I’m stopping. I’m just stating a simple fact.” Lucifer said with a shrug. He leaned against Sam and Mary, and nodded at Dean, indicating that part of the conversation over.

Gabriel tapped Mary Rose’s knee and indicated for her to lower her hands. “Okay, I say we have some movie time and see if we can come up with something creative to pay back Eric for what he’s done.”

“Agreed.” Lucifer snuggled closer.

.oOo.

Later that night, as Lucifer was in the bathroom with Britney Spears playing as the soundtrack to his nightly routine; washing his face and swaying his hips in time to the beat of the music, Sam left Gabriel in the nest. He slipped into the bathroom behind Lucifer and shut the door. “Heylel?” He spoke softly so as not to be heard by Gabriel, although he knew the angel could still probably hear him.

Lucifer turned and looked at Sam, drying his face with his hand towel. “Yeah?” He asked.

“About earlier, when you and Dean were talking.” Sam scratched at the light stubble on his cheek. “It kinda made me uncomfortable.”

“How come?” Lucifer asked in concern, walking over to Sam and resting his hands on his hips.

Sam closed his eyes and took a long breath. “Because I wanted to punch his lights out and throw you against the wall to remind you who your mate was.”

Lucifer leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Sam’s lips. “It’s because I’m able to be casual about it, isn’t it?” He asked softly. “And you were still bothered earlier by me calling myself a slut.”

“What happened between you two shouldn’t bother me after so many years, but it does.” Sam opened his eyes and looked down at the angel. “And the slut thing didn’t help. Nothing about tonight helped.”

Lucifer rubbed his thumbs soothingly along Sam’s hips. “I know you don’t like the term.” He said softly. “But it is what I am, whether you accept that term or not. And I have accepted it as part of who I am. And no, nothing about tonight helped. But if I can’t be casual about it, then I still feel that pain of not being able to reach you to ask you directly. You have no idea how much I loathed not being able to reach you.” He reached up and cupped Sam’s cheek. “But once I am committed to a being, except in extenuating circumstances, I am that being’s to do with what they wish in the bedroom. And I am faithful. You can ask Michael. I don’t like stepping outside contracts and bonds- you know this.”

Sam pressed his forehead against Lucifer’s and curled his arms around him. “I know, Heylel, I know. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you. Maybe that’s why it pisses me off so much. I failed you in something so simple and you had to turn to Dean, then everything that happened afterward. We’ll just have to add it to the laundry list of sins in my life.”

Lucifer snorted. “Sam, I had sex with my brother in law. Who is also my son in law? Think about that.” He hugged Sam close. “You didn’t sin.” He murmured. “It was a test, one we passed. Yes, it was with great difficulty on both of our parts, but it’s not so much sin.” He kissed Sam softly again. “The only one who truly sinned was me. You reacted to the sin. Maybe a bit over the top, but it’s not like I didn’t ask for it when I came home.”

“I love you. Do you know that? And I’m amazed that you love me back. Probably more than this old man deserves.”

Lucifer smiled and kissed Sam sweetly. “I love you so much, Sam. More than anything other than Gabriel and the children. And it’s because we’re soulmates. Remember? MFEO? Made For Each Other? Maybe not in the way Father originally intended, but we were.” He hugged Sam close. “I’ll be honest, today was rough for me. I remembered when… when Michael broke the bond between us, shortly before I fell. If anything... “ He shuddered. “That hurt more than the Fall and all the torture in the Cage. And… and it was shortly after we had sex. And I felt as broken as Mary did.” He buried his face into Sam’s shoulder, shuddering at the sudden onslaught of tears behind his eyes.

“It’s okay, Baby.” Sam murmured as he cradled the back of Lucifer’s head.

“I was so alone,” Lucifer whispered, clutching Sam’s sleep shirt in his fists. “No one was there for me.”

Sam pressed his lips to his mate’s hair. “But now you have a whole Brady Bunch of a family who will be there until the bitter end. Never alone. Never again.”

Lucifer nodded and gave a quiet sniffle.

“Besides, I don’t have as much gray hair as Dean and I’ve been told I taste better than candy,” Sam added, trying to lighten the conversation. “You never know. Dean might need little blue pills in a few years.”

Lucifer nodded and snuggled into Sam, giving another quiet sniffle. “Yeah.” He whispered.

Sam started to sway back and forth in a gentle rocking motion. “Would you feel better if I punched Michael for you? I’d do it, even if he’s a girl.”

Lucifer shook his head. “I need to talk to them about it. I’ve talked to them about everything else - Castiel, the Apocalypse, a lot of the events leading up to the Fall, the fight we had when Gabe ran off. But never this. I-I just can't bring it up. Like I freeze. I tried writing it in my journal like I do when I’m upset over something, and I couldn’t.”

“It’ll happen when you’re ready, Heylel.” Sam lifted Lucifer’s head and wiped away a stray tear or two from his cheeks. “Come to bed and think about this tomorrow.”

Lucifer gave a tired smile. “Alright, baby.”