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mywatchhasnotended · 3 months

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HotD 2x01 - My Recap

a/n: i used to do the analysis thingy back in 2022 which was fairly popular but i cringe reading those cos just 🫡 (hence on priv now) so anyway, moving on and learning from my mistakes but not breaking the tradition— i present, my recap of the episode! :)

warnings: s2 spoliers, mind the language, might delete later lol

They've changed the intro, perhaps foreshadowed in the last season with Helaena saying, "Dragons of flesh weaving dragons of thread." Blood courses through the characters already dead, much like the S1 intro.

A raven flies through the woods, above the water body and a voiceover begins— not of any character we've known until now. "Duty is sacrifice. It eclipses all things, even blood", a heavy northern accent is noted as we're reminded of Rhaenyra's duty towards the realm— and we finally see Winterfell. It hints at the prophecy, of course.

"Winter is Coming."

Jace (Harry Collett) and Cregan Stark (Tom Taylor)— the latter looking reminiscent of Ned Stark with the former looking eerily like Jon Snow. Thanks for keeping the curls btw, last season's wig was atrocious. (But again, this is just me describing what I see, you don't have to agree.) As Jace is recounting the story of Torrhen Stark and ending it with "The war is coming... We cannot wage it without the support of the North." he finally looks at what lies beyond the wall. Cregan mentions how Jaehaerys and his wife stood at the same spot that Jace is standing at now and, "...watched as their dragons— the greatest power in the world— refused to cross it."

And what is beyond the wall? Jace asks. "Death", says Cregan.

Remember the raven we saw earlier? Yes, that's the "Urgent news from Dragonstone", and the look on Jace's face— he knows something is wrong, very very wrong.

We then cut to Rhaenys riding Meleys, and then unmounting— clearly looking exhausted. They've been patrolling the skies waiting to be attacked at any moment by the greens. They (Aemond) killed Luke. The blacks are threatened and on alert.

"We're flying out," Daemon says, least bit tired or worried. He runs on the chaotic energy, we've seen that before, haven't we? Daemon is not tired of this at all, he's excited, he wants Rhaenyra to do something— anything at all.

Daemon saying, "I cannot face that whorey hoary old bitch alone." Dude you can wtf "..with my dragon and yours together we can kill Vhaegar and her rider", that's right Daemon— make it a son for a son. He's lived with Vhaegar, knows about the dragon perhaps more than Aemond does, but he undermines himself. (Now I'm wondering if it means that there's going to be some kind of treachery at the final showdown?)

Daemon is clearly pissed, "The mother grieves as the queen shirks her duties," he roars. Rhaenys explains how she herself mourned Laena's death, she understands Rhaenyra's pain. Daemon, on the other hand, feels trapped because he could've instead been at Harrenhall but he remains powerless in the matter. I think it annoys him quite a bit.

"She was a fool to go alone," Daemon says, "What if Aemond were to happen upon her?" and I think in that moment perhaps Rhaenys knew Rhaenyra better. Daemon always saw her as a small (vicious, nonetheless, but still a small) thing. Daemon hasn't been there when she fought the most brutal physical and mental battles. The attack in the woods, the birth of her child, even during her miscarriage— he abandons her. Regardless of the fact that he himself was preparing and perhaps grieving in the manner he knew how to.

Daemon taunts her, or perhaps complains to Rhaenys again about the fact that she could've simply killed the greens when she had the chance to while escaping King's Landing, emphasizes that "Luke would be alive."— tell me if that's not father!Daemon at all like? He cared for the kid, enough about the psychopathic allegations. (Maybe calling him babygirl is too much for the creators to handle but don't tell me Daemon isn't human. He's got feelings too, he just knows how to hide them well behind his sharp tongue.)

"Fly with me, it is a command", he declares to Rhaenys but she continues to walk away from him. "Would that you were the King," she taunts back.

The scene transitions to Rhaenyra on the shore, lifeless with grief, lifeless with perhaps hope too. That her son might somehow crawl out of the water alive, or descend from the sky on his dragon. She's holding it in, but barely. She's never been away from him for so long, it is pointless to hope because something terrible has sure to have occured.

Cut to Corlys on the (Dockyard?) of a ship that has miraculously survived the Stepstones. It would take weeks to get these ships back to sea. "The smithey delivered this earlier," and Corlys is handed a weapon— a dagger that was commissioned for the heir to the Driftmark's throne— Lucerys Velaryon.

"They tell me you're the one that dragged my body out of the sea. I'm indebted to you— Alyn." Corlys says. And thus we're introduced to another new and important character.

The scene changes to one overlooking the Red Keep, kingsguard wearing green cloaks and holding the Hightower shield. Much has changed.

Arryk (I think), tells them to focus, someone shouts "Dragon" and the weapon (scorpion is what it's called) is drawn towards an incoming target. They're on high alert too, waiting for consequences. But it is only Aemond riding Vhaegar. She seems to be listening to him now, doesn't she?

Helaena's muttering as usual, and embroidering. Aegon walks in and asks for Jaehaerys, his son. Well, at least he can tell his kids apart. (Are they trying to redeem this man?) Anyway, he asks Helaena and she responds with "Why?", perhaps Aegon has learnt a thing or two because he wants to take his son to the small council. He himself was never the heir, never treated like one, perhaps he realises this.

"I'm afraid," she says as Aegon is leaving her chambers. "Don't be, they'd be fools to attack with Vhaegar protecting the city." But it isn't dragons that seem to scare her, it is rats. Aegon and the maids look around— there are no rats, not in her chamber. But she's a dreamer, she rarely talks of the present. "The Queen is an enduring mystery. Is she not?" Aegon asks dismissively. (The children with wigs— I cannot lol)

The scene then transitions to Alicent digging her nails into the armrest. Something, someone between her legs. Guess who? Crispin fucking hypocritic Cole. That's right, he's the dowager queen's whore. Apparently, he seems to be carrying out these activities in Rhaenyra's chambers. (Are they both thinking of her when they do it? Who knows lol) "We cannot, again" Alicent says to Criston but it looks like it has been happening for a while. Failed promises much, Criston? (Not to quote the duty and sacrifice thing again because Rhaenyra and Alicent were clearly trying to amend things before the men around them decided to make it worse. How does it feel to hate Rhaenyra now that you're being a whore anyway Crispin?)

"Yes, your grace" Cole says, "If you wouldn't mind" — handing her the cloak (remember how they showed young!Rhaenyra taking it off of him? And now Alicent is putting it back on? Yes, please, make Rhaenyra the devil for something that she did once and Alicent does over and over.)

They, Alicent and Cole reach the small council kind of together and that doesn't go unnoticed by Otto. Wonder what are his opinions now? Little Jaehaerys is being little and playful with Tyland Lannister.

Alicent asks if her letters to Rhaenyra have been returned. (How'd you even thunk it, woman?) She's apparently useless now that Aegon has been crowned and she has fulfilled her duty (or whatever she thought it was) towards Viserys. Aegon clearly listens little of her, like Joffrey did Cersei.

Aemond walks in and apparently Alicent doesn't know that Aegon has invited him. Aemond seems just as interested with Harrenhall as Daemon was earlier. Aegon has a valid argument, his dragons are bigger. But is it really? valid? (Does it matter whose balls dragons are bigger?)

Aegon outright dismisses his mother's opinion. Alicent shares a look with Criston. Perhaps they're questioning whether Viserys really wanted this or not. Power doesn't look good on her son.

Larys foot-fetish shows up with a "Good Morrow" and a subtle threat and warning both— nothing goes on here without his notice. (Does he know about Alicole? I think so. Probably doesn't like the idea of another man seeing her feet or whatever.) Ends that with, "I've chosen your new staff personally" sure you did Larys, sure you did. Also probably why Alicent dismisses everyone during her bath? She's clearly paranoid about the man (and the staff he's chosen for her).

Arrax's wing, and a part of whatever remains of Luke's coat is found. Rhaenyra is fast with Syrax, in tune with her (very unlike Vhaegar and Aemond), glides down swiftly. She finally finds confirmation that what she heard was, in fact, true. She breaks down there, and it is a very heart clenching to watch her unravel like this. Syrax roar-cries with her as well in the background.

Back at the Red Keep, Aegon is announced into the throne room as "Aegon the Magnanimous" and that's really funny because he seems to doubt its merit as well. But he nonetheless tries to live up to the standards that his mother and grandfather have set him up for. For once in his life, he feels driven and purposeful and perhaps that is the reason why he's generous and kind to the small folk (or at least acts as such)— he has a reputation to uphold, the one of his namesake's.

Otto is positively annoyed with him, not thinking his actions through. Aegon's clearly never been "prepared to rule" as he had told Alicent to do so all those years ago. And Aegon is aware of the disappointment he's causing. Larys plays a nice game, recognising the mismatch of opinions between the "King" and his "Hand", he gently nudges Aegon into considering appointing a new hand. (Perhaps him, as he's been so kind to suggest the idea.)

Otto and Alicent discuss their frustrations. There's honestly no big takeaway from these scenes other than hearing Rhys Ifans say "Daughter" over and over. Twice actually, that's all. 👀

A more interesting event takes place when Erryk Cargyll discovers Mysaria (alias, 'The White Wyrm') on a Velaryon ship, fleeing from King's Landing. Daemon is frustrated at her definition of loyalty, but he doesn't understand the small folks' lived lives. Erryk tries to explain the conundrum but Syrax roars and Daemon understands that Rhaenyra has returned. "Did you find what you needed?" he asks her, a gentle forehead touch because that's what their language is. Despite the taunts thrown at Rhaenys earlier, Daemon is loyal to Rhaenyra to a fault (and gentle too, now, from whatever tumoultous thing he'd transformed into during the finale, but we'll be seeing that side of him again—no worries there)

Rhaenyra enters and the council around the painted table brings her upto the events of the present, she's not listening though. She has fire in her eyes (no, really, there's the refection) and she says, "I want Aemond Targaryen." And Daemon's really just an uncle trying to please his niece-wife, you want it? you got it.

So that's the story of how blood and cheese begins, comparatively short-lived and different than what GRRM mentions in Fire & Blood.

Jace arrives, seemingly normal before his voice starts to break while informing Rhaenyra that he has secured allies in the Vale and Winterfell. Rhaenyra cries as well, relieved that her firstborn is well, but is hurt from his and her own grief. Once again we see how very differently Rhaenyra and Alicent treat their children. (Coming back to this in the last paragraph.)

So, Daemon is back in his murderous cloak, and he wants a "Son for a Son". The way Aemond never intended to kill Luke; Daemons seems to be following the same path because he instructed them to kill Aemond'. Would've been quite useful too if it worked because Vhaegar would be useless without her rider. But they miss him by minutes.

Aemond was there, plotting behind his brother's back about how to defeat the blacks. He's interested in power more than his brother. He also says that his mother speaks two tongues— he knows her well.

They find Helaena instead. Decide not to kill her because a daughter is worth nothing. Make her point out Jaehaerys and then murder him in front of her while she quietly picks up his twin sister and runs to her mother's chambers. Who btw is in the middle of having sex with Criston despite the— we cannot, again. Helaena is too traumatised to notice though. But yeah, the difference between these two mothers becomes apparent once again.

One who is there for her child when he needs it the most and the other who cannot even bring herself to comfort her daughter when her grandson is slaughtered under the same roof.

#back at my shit #okay this show is much more than daemyra to me #jace targaryen #dany analyses #house of the dragon #daemyra #criston cole #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #hotd #hotd spoilers #house of the dragon spoilers #hotd analysis #daemon x rhaenyra #game of thrones #matt smith #milly alcock #daemon targaryen x reader #hotd season 2

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lateral-rex · 5 months

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holy fucking shit i am finally FREE

i present to you, the artwork that took up most of my brain space for a week and probably took like... 16+ hours to make (even with a few day break bc ow my hands)

individual pieces and more thoughts below the cut

i'm fairly certain you can tell when i just... gave up on this lol (hint: the backgrounds)

maybe one day i'll go back and fix redo this, but... not any time soon

as for my take on future donnie? he and raph end up switching to similar style headbands as the other two (raph bc he is... significantly more spiky in my future design and couldn't keep wearing his old one, donnie bc leo and mikey didn't want him feeling left out - they found some black thread and embroidered eyebrows on his headband lmao)

there's a pretty good chance my future donnie design will change (spoiler alert - i'm not a good artist and i struggle with character design) but uhhh yeah that's what we're going with for now.

(in case it wasn't obvious, future donnie is dead o7)

#rottmnt #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #cw: blood #cw: injury #cw: death #... sort of #chatter rex #artist rex #freeeeeedooooooooom #tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #it's not even lunchtime but i'm gonna go faceplant in my bed bc i was working on this past midnight last night #ended up doing another like... two hours of work on it before posting it today?#yeah back to bed with me

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starks-hero · 2 years

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Okay you did not need to deliver such a fucking fantastic fic! Apologies for the entire ass rant I'm about to leave but you don't get to write something this good without some maniac of a fanfic reader squealing and flailing about it so...

Firstly, the title absolutely divine, but then I am a sucker for romantically poetic notions especially if there's a thread of angst in it

This is the first Thorin fic I've ever read, I'm not that big on Thorin (esp not when fili is right there👀 ) but *ahem that gif also your note of 'the intimacy of going insane with your crush' reeled me in, if that isn't the best genre ever! 🤣

You captured the eerie murkiness of Mirkwood so well and you really got Thorin's essence like nothing seemed out of place at all

THE DIALOGUE 👏👏👏 magnifique

'In the bogs of a cursed forest with your friends lost and your mind bewitched, all so that the king would keep looking at you as he was now'>>> I loved every word of this. You know that feeling when you haven't listened to ABBA in a while and then out of nowhere you hear it playing somewhere and there's a rising of joy in your soul and it feels like all the world has been righted. That is the feeling of that paragraph. Sorry but I love words and I love reading and you just killed it with that wording okay

🌌THE WHOLE INTERACTION WITH BOG CREATURE THORIN!!!! "I'm so glad, Amrâlimê, you must not look so surprised, my love" his thumb grazed your jaw, "that I should wish to call you such a name">>>cue me almost throwing my phone and screeching like the fell beasts of the Nazgûl🌌

Not to mention Thorin's interaction with the bog creatures! "Reader" being dismissive about the safety of the others and 'Thorin offering a baffled look that doubled as a warning'

Once again need I mention THE DIALOGUE IN THIS FIC! 💕

Question about the LOTR Dead Marshes, if you drown in there you become one of them, right? So if an siúlóir portaigh get you drowned do you become one of them?

In case you couldn't tell (lol) I'm seriously loving your own irish mythology infused into Tolkien's world

I feel like celtic/irish stuff and Gaelige fit quite well in Tolkien's creation. I dunno why but the Irish language feels at home in Tolkien's world to me, same with Scottish Gaelic

I have such little grasp of my own language it feels like old world/other worldly literary/mythical creation to me. Probably why it meshes so well with Middle Earth in my mind. Like it doesn't seem real to me but maybe that's cuz I'm from the North 🤣 (I will get my ass in gear and learn it better one day but laziness and annoyance win thus far)

Thorin staring off into nothing. Being brought back to reality by the sting of his wound. And then the first thing he does is worry/obsess over the illusion he saw. **weeping**fucking weeping* Your honor I need them to be together 😢 If you ever part 2 this pls tag me girl

P.s. I find it cruel that you aren't a published author. I need to read a whole book by you. Your writing style is sublime. It's just in that exact vein that is just so appealing to me. I'm not great at articulating myself so I'll just say this had me like 'ooh you bastid (affectionate).' YOUR. WRITING. SLAPS. If you ever publish your own book pls alert me cuz I will read it despite the possibility of it inducing cardiac arrest in me. Sorry books make me excited. From your mythology of the siúlóir portaigh and your general writing style I'm getting V.E. Schwab vibes but way way better

Imma shush now. Peace out ✌ God Bless 🕊 and Slán

Putting a read more option because I'm about to lose my mind :)

I want to start by saying that this is one of if not the kindest messages I've ever received, I mean wow. You completely moved me to tears. Watch me drive to the North right now just to give you a hug.

If it's okay I'm going to rant right back at you lol because there's so much things you mentioned that I want to discuss!

The title is actually based on a poem about sirens! I thought it fit the vibe of the fic really well.

Dialogue is something I've always struggled with. I could use a thousand words to describe a tree but I always get nervous when it comes to dialogue. I feel like when I write conversations they're always clunky so to get such positive feedback about that aspect of my writing is so lovely <3

GIRL YOU DID NOT JUST COMPARE MY WRITING TO ABBA! I needed to sit down reading this part. This is the greatest compliment I've ever received–

“If an siúlóir portaigh get you drowned do you become one of them?” when it comes to the siúlorí I haven't really fleshed them out enough (haha get it) to have any solid lore for them. So far all I have is that they roam bogs, marshes and wetlands and use a siren-like approach when hunting their prey. Wether they attack people to sustain themselves, to condemn their victim to the same faith as them or just out of maliciousness I haven't decided. It's completely up to interpretation :)

Bestie, don't get me started on how well the Irish language and Irish culture fits into the world of Tolkien. I could write essays. I think that's why I've always found middle earth so comforting, it's a fractured reflection of my own home.

As someone who's been out of school for a year and is still learning gaeilge, I promise we'll get there someday :)

Prior to my Thorin fic I hadn't written anything since October of last year due to writers block and self doubt. So to not only hear such lovely things about my writing but to also be compared to a published author– You have no idea how much it means to me. Thank you so much! You are every writer's dream.

Slán go foil, mo chara! Agus go raibh míle maith agat <3

#brb printing this out and sticking it on my wall #achromaticerebus #mail 💌#rambles

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godjordie · 4 months

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Hello! I am Monroe Marylyn, 30 years old , battling breast cancer. If ever this is the second or third time I sent you an ask message, I apologize. I’m just trying to reach random people here for urgent help. If this is the first time, hi! It’s nice that I’m able to send you a message. Again, I’m sorry for bothering you but if you have an extra time and space in your account, can you check my pinned post here, reblog, or share it? I’m doing a donation drive for my mother’s chemotherapy this month. My story and donation details are in the pinned post as well. It’s been a long post thread now but hopefully, you can still browse it. I’m trying to raise $1350, the approximate amount I need for the chemotherapy. Know that I appreciates any help or amount you’re willing to give. It would mean a lot and a life to us. Thank you very much! Wishing you safe and happy days ahead. -Monroe

scam. can’t even bother to not use stock photos lol. for gum disease. and again, relatively new account. with a paypal link. and you’re on a scam alert list.

#scam alert

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theoneandonlytruejack · 10 months

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Doctor Who: 60th Anniversary Specials |OT| Across the Whoniverse

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Wrexis

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He/Him

Today at 9:52 PM

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#1,501

None of 13's companions were mentioned in that puppet scene. She made it without killing any of them then? :D

Regeneration scene is up.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2MFwLn-SmA

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Dary

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Today at 9:54 PM

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#1,502

OneTrueJack said:

View: https://twitter.com/WilliamWhoDW/status/1733592582909726773?t=FJYoTo_uw68tMfZ1rGLbPA&s=19

"So the whole timeline regenerated then".

I'm gonna go ahead and ignore this since it was in a commentary and not the episode, but Davies seems to think that the bi-generation travelled backwards along the timeline. So every Doctor just lives on instead of changing, I guess in branching timelines.

Which does explain Tales from the Tardis where all the old Doctors are still travelling. Davies said that would make more sense after the 60th, so I guess that's the explanation.

Click to expand...

It's Schrodinger's Doctor?!

Quantum suicide and immortality - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

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GrimGrinningGuy

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Today at 9:55 PM

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#1,503

Ashes of Dreams said:

Think they are setting up that Toymaker actively messed with history as some kind of retcon?

It's some kind of set up for sure

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TheGamingNewsGuy

One Winged Slayer

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Today at 9:58 PM

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#1,504

Wrexis said:

None of 13's companions were mentioned in that puppet scene. She made it without killing any of them then? :D

Regeneration scene is up.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2MFwLn-SmA

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Yeppp,Companion Exits were less dramatic during 13s run

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Grue

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Today at 10:03 PM

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#1,505

Exclusive footage of 15 calling a returning character:

SPOILER

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Joqu

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Today at 10:04 PM

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#1,506

Edit: Hmmm. So I went back to rewatch that scene after posting this and you know... right after when the Toymaker is talking about all he did when he came to this reality, he says "I made a jigsaw out of your history, did you like it?" and the Doctor furrows his brows to indicate he doesn't know what he means but then we move on to the Master bit. Do you think that's referring to the Timeless Child and Fugitive Doctor stuff? Think they are setting up that Toymaker actively messed with history as some kind of retcon? Or am I reading too much into this line? lol

Click to expand...

I don''t think it's so much setup as much as it's a nod to how the doctor has had multiple histories and origins at this point, but I guess we'll see if it comes up again.

There's Big Finish stuff out there that gets into how the time war has had similar effects too, I just see it as more of this whole "Everything can be canon in doctor who" thing. Which I think is fun, lol

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pikachief

Prophet of Truth

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Today at 10:09 PM

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#1,507

I wasn't a fan of most of the episode (aside from the part with licensed music, that was great) as I felt like it had zero time to breath. The whole thing felt like a fever dream, which I usually like, but there was no time for any of the emotional moments to really set in and there was zero build up to anything that happened.

I was a HUGE fan of how it ended though. After the first special I turned to my wife and said how I wish David Tennant's run would end and his last scene was almost *exactly* how I described it to her. Down to him being an uncle to the family. But I figured there would be no way to get that ending because of who the doctor is. I cried and was very happy 😊

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batti

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Today at 10:11 PM

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#1,508

RepairmanJack said:

Thet ball scene felt so goofy.

It kinda lacked another contestant that could play off them both. Maybe the Toymaker could've roped in some ringer to make the game 2v2, along with a change of scenery.

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MrKlaw

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Today at 10:12 PM

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#1,509

Someone tell me I'm not crazy for thinking when the toy maker is sitting on the genesis cannon or whatever and he's doing his fake German accent going 'ze laser cannon viz de bang und ze boom' he was channeling Danny kaye

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Grue

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Today at 10:17 PM

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#1,510

MrKlaw said:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13lVvAANQss

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VorpalNonsense

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Today at 10:19 PM

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#1,511

Just finished the episode. Unfortunately some jackass on twitter last night was publicly posting leaks disguised as "speculation" so I wasnt as surprised by the regeneration as I would have liked to be, but this was a rockin episode and I loved it.

The Toymaker was great, NPH hit a home run. Really fun performance, and I loved how creepy they got with it. The conclusion with him was underwhelming, but the journey there was great. The Toymaker gloated about making a jigsaw of the Doctor's past. Is he... taking credit for the timeless child? Is that implying that he warped reality to fuck with the Doctor? Or am I reading too much into things...

What did the Doctor say about his bigeneration, that it was therapy out of order, or something like that? It seems like the 15th Doctor has complete memories but does not carry with him the trauma anymore, while the 14th Doctor has kept the trauma in order to go on holiday and work through it. The Doctor became so internally conflicted that it affected his regeneration. I wonder if after he's healed up sometime in the future, there might be a sort of reunification between the two, convergent regeneration. Anything could happen after what we saw today.

I wonder what the endgame for the 14th doctor is though. For now they can coast, let him recover, bring him in for the cameo assist every now and then, but like...then what? Feels like something that needs to be addressed, not now, maybe not even soon, but eventually. Today the doctor bigenerated. But after the 14th doctor recovers, will there be a convergent regeneration? Or is there just...two doctors forever now? seems like that would be a problem long term because you basically cant tell stories in modern london for as long as he's still around, unless david tennant is available for a cameo, because like...he may not be traveling around looking for trouble anymore, but if it came to his doorstep, he wouldnt sit it out, right? So this arrangement probably won't be permanent. Unless...he retires and becomes the Curator. But I'd rather leave the Curator forever as the far far unknown future as was intended.

I felt like I could see a hint of the 12th doctor in the 14th doctor today. At one point he was really slamming the human race as a bunch of violent apes in a way that felt like a 12th doctor takedown (or the 9th). I think the 10th doctor tended to be a little more positive than that. I enjoy the distinction.

I was surprised that the master got a mention at all, i figured they'd leave him on the toybox for a while. That's fun.

My lady and I are instantly in love with the 15th doctor. He's so good, so instantly. I am so excited for his era. Love his sassy attitude, and that his first order of business was a jukebox and mood lighting. This is gonna be a lot of fun. I'm already eager for Christmas. Lol@ him starting off his tenure in his underwear.

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MrKlaw

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Today at 10:23 PM

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#1,512

Grue said:

I dunno.

Needs a re-watch and I don't want to be the debbie downer in the thread

But the hairs on the back on my neck aren't up to be honest.

- I think I'm going to have to learn to accept Davies ex-machina endings again. Playing super-catch was definitely a bit anticlimactic as a conclusion to all the villain build-up. And smacking a whole new TARDIS out with a big mallet was, forgive me, just a bit Looney Tunes - and not in a good way.

- I wish there was a more conclusive wrap-up to Fourteen's arc. The reason for the face coming back was to 'come home'? To live with Donna? This makes zero sense to me; and I say that as someone who has greatly enjoyed Tennant's vulnerable portrayal this time around.

- Yes, in the meta-narrative I hate the fact there are two Doctors rocking around now. I know it happened before, I didn't like it then much either; but mostly I worry it's going to leave everyone thinking 'bring Tennant back!' whenever the show is perceived to have a dip in quality.

NPH was great though, I've enjoyed Tennant this time around far more than the last time, and I remain excited for Gatwa. Onwards!

Click to expand...

I read it not just coming back to Donna but to heal, to recover etc. slow down and take some time - which he can do knowing he's also still out there I guess

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Magister Xehanort

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Today at 10:23 PM

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#1,513

APOEERA said:

The former Lord President of Gallifrey could work as the big bad the Toymaker doesn't want to face since we haven't heard from him after Capaldi Doctor sent him away on a shuttle.

He would be pissed that he got sent away, Gallifrey got destroyed again and the Doctor is the Timeless Child which wasn't to have gotten leaked out.

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TheGamingNewsGuy said:

Or it could be Omega

Or maybe it could be The Great Vampires.

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apocat

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Today at 10:26 PM

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#1,514

So I wonder if the one who waits is actually a later regeneration of the Tennant Doctor. Having lost his human family, and having confronted the loss of a linear life as an immortal being, thus driven to a far darker place. That would make Mels inclusion make a lot of sense, since I believe she faced the Valeyard (I've never watched Trials myself) in her run?

That would certainly make the ending less of a happy one, mind, but would also make the Valeyard actually make more sense in the canon.

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MrKlaw

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Today at 10:27 PM

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WhySoDevious said:

I was tearing up watching him start regenerating... but also excited that we were gonna end with a nice chunk of the episode with Gatwa.

I got the best of both worlds.

But NPH stole the show here. Absolutely brilliant.

Can't wait for the Christmas Special!

Click to expand...

When he started I was saying out loud 'wait but he hasn't done whatever he came back for so how can he just regenerate now?'

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YorkshireDaveUK

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Today at 10:29 PM

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#1,516

My head canon until I am told otherwise is that Ncuti is the doctors future generation pulled back to this point in time. it allows David's doctor to rest and heal, and for Nucti to start his run with a fresh perspective.

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TheGamingNewsGuy

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Today at 10:32 PM

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apocat said:

That would certainly make the ending less of a happy one, mind, but would also make the Valeyard actually make more sense in the canon.

Click to expand...

What's also possible is that an outside force (like a cosmic entity) corrupts the 14th Doctor and becomes the Valeyard who later interacts with the Doctor's timeline in various forms hence him being in the 6th. The "Valeyard" Persona goes out of the 14th and he gets to live back with Donna, would still introduce the Valeyard as an element without ruining the 14th Doctor ending.

Not sure how i would feel about any of the Doctors becoming the Valeyard without outside inteference

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liquidtmd

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Today at 10:33 PM

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YorkshireDaveUK said:

I thought that entirely was the implication of what they went with?

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YorkshireDaveUK

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Today at 10:34 PM

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liquidtmd said:

I thought that entirely was the implication of what they went with?

It you watch it again it isn't explained terribly well, hence the rampant speculation here and online. I also took it as what I posted at first, then questioned myself.

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NewtonNextDoor

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Today at 10:40 PM

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OneTrueJack said:

View: https://twitter.com/WilliamWhoDW/status/1733592582909726773?t=FJYoTo_uw68tMfZ1rGLbPA&s=19

"So the whole timeline regenerated then".

Which does explain Tales from the Tardis where all the old Doctors are still travelling. Davies said that would make more sense after the 60th, so I guess that's the explanation.

Click to expand...

Does that mean all generations of doctor instead of dying, survived the regeneration and get to do something else? They rested and healed themselves. Some became a curator. Some might go into a different type of adventure. Some could become evil (Valeyard) This would explain why new doctor usually feels like a reset.

I dont think that David Tennant is coming back anytime soon. However this leaves the door open for other doctors (older ones) to come back. I believe that multiple doctor meetings are special and should be very rare (Even Capaldi said that). I imagine Davies understands that.

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SixtyTwoMike

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Today at 10:46 PM

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RepairmanJack said:

It felt more like he came off as a very confident and sure of himself Doctor, not necessarily just nice. He literally comes off as someone who's been through therapy like the line says of doing therapy in reverse.

Some quoting weirdness going on here - I never posted that!

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shan780

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Today at 10:47 PM

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#1,522

I enjoyed the episode a lot.

I do think it was a bit too fast-paced, and probably could've done with a longer episode or something like that. The Toymaker's demise fumbling a ball was a bit lame - I imagined the Doctor(s) would outwit him (like Geralt vs Gaunter O' Dimm, who's very similar to the Toymaker conceptually, in The Witcher 3).

The symbolism of Gatwa leaving his trauma behind was nice, and I'm excited for his series given the energy and charisma he showed in his short time this episode.

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RepairmanJack

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Today at 10:49 PM

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SixtyTwoMike said:

Some quoting weirdness going on here - I never posted that!

Oh wow, so weird, going back to try to correct lol

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Parthenios

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Today at 10:50 PM

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If you're universe has time travel, it can't have a multiverse, and if it has a multiverse it can't have time travel. Doctor Who wisely avoids a multiverse, and Rick and Morty knows to stay away from time travel (with rare exceptions for each).

Not super thrilled with the idea of a Doctor Who multiverse (when the Doctor can simply simultaneously exist in different places and time without it). Weird time to jump into the multiverse fad, when it's been worn out for a bit too. Hopefully that's just banter for the commentary.

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OneTrueJack

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The more I think about it, the more my biggest problem with the bi-generation is just how poorly explained the whole thing is. The dialogue just seems so...confused?

The Doctor says it's a myth...except they also may have just made the name up in the moment...except the Toymakes also seems to say it was his fault?? Fourteen and Fifteen split apart, except Fifteen still says that Fourteen still has to become him? The recent leaks said that Fifteen gets pulled from the future and the whole thing is a closed time loop, which seems to be an understanding taken from their dialogue in the Tardis (that Fourteen has to mentally heal so Fifteen can be at peace) but again that doesn't line up with the visuals or the actual events. Fifteen doesn't mention being from the future? Or does Fouteen's future experiences feed back into Fifteen...somehow?

And then we have Davies bts comments saying that this is supposed to be a complete shakeup that affects every previous Doctor despite nothing indicating that on screen...but it does line up with Tales from the Tardis so it's clearly something he had been thinking about...what?

It feels like a half-formed idea. Like something major got lost in rewrites.

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MrKlaw

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Today at 10:51 PM

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Parthenios said:

Click to expand...

But the timeless child explicitly calls out multiple universes

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TheGamingNewsGuy

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Today at 10:53 PM

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Parthenios said:

Click to expand...

I mean you can have both, we canonically know there is a MV hence Pete's world also the Toymaker lives in another universe

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Lexad

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Today at 10:54 PM

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OneTrueJack said:

The more I think about it, the more my biggest problem with the bi-generation is just how poorly explained the whole thing is. The dialogue just seems so...confused?

It feels like a half-formed idea. Like something major got lost in rewrites.

Click to expand...

It is kind of awful all things considered

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The_Iceman2288

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59 minutes ago

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#1,529

Is The Curator the Fourth Doctor's bigeneration?

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Guppeth

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58 minutes ago

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MrKlaw said:

But the timeless child explicitly calls out multiple universes

Yeah but I don't think it was in a "many variations of this universe" kinda way. More a "this universe isn't the whole of reality" way.

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Serif

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57 minutes ago

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#1,531

I don't see why we need retroactive bigeneration as a way to bring back old Doctors. They've been doing that for years already...

liquidtmd said:

I thought that entirely was the implication of what they went with?

YorkshireDaveUK said:

It you watch it again it isn't explained terribly well, hence the rampant speculation here and online. I also took it as what I posted at first, then questioned myself.

They call the 15th Doctor the 'older' one, which imo only makes sense if he literally has more years lived, since if it was just the Doctor 'cloning' himself they'd both be the same age. He also says they're doing rehab 'out of order' - i.e. 15 encourages 14 to get the necessary rest to eventually 'become' him.

But I agree - it's not super clear that it's timey wimey. They could just say 'bigeneration happens when a future regeneration is forcefully brought back' or something something. An unnatural regeneration, where 14 was always going to regenerate to 15, but the Toymaker's meddling meant he showed up much earlier. I find this more preferable to the idea that the Doctor split himself like a starfish and there's a duplicate of him, down to there being duplicate TARDISes.

The_Iceman2288 said:

Is The Curator the Fourth Doctor's bigeneration?

The Curator specifically talks about revisiting faces to the 11th Doctor and has an awareness about the events of DotD based on his remarks about Gallifrey. As far as I know only later Doctors retain the memory when meeting their other selves, so if it were the 4th Doctor he wouldn't remember anything or make a reference to revisiting the old favorites.

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Kinsei

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56 minutes ago

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Guppeth said:

Yeah but I don't think it was in a "many variations of this universe" kinda way. More a "this universe isn't the whole of reality" way.

Forgetting the alternate universe from series 2? The one The Doctor, Rose, and Mickey fell into and encountered the new Cybermen?

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Guppeth

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54 minutes ago

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Kinsei said:

Forgetting the alternate universe from series 2? The one The Doctor, Rose, and Mickey fell into and encountered the new Cybermen?

Aye that was a parallel universe. And we've seen that kind of thing before, way back in the Pertwee era when everyone in the other universe was a nazi with an evil moustache. But with the Timeless Child, the implication was they came from somewhere outside the known universe.

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liquidtmd

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54 minutes ago

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The more I think about it, the more my biggest problem with the bi-generation is just how poorly explained the whole thing is. The dialogue just seems so...confused?

It feels like a half-formed idea. Like something major got lost in rewrites.

#doctor who #60th anniversary #14th doctor #15th doctor #the giggle

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jamieroxxartist · 10 months

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Well it's been a Year Since I posted this... and * spoiler alert * I'm still Painting. Commission orders roll in. Business is up, Merch is selling etc etc. If anything I have had to roll back podcast shows to make up for the balance of Podcasts and Paintings. (Don't worry folks still plan on doing both) anyhow from 1 year ago, some thoughts on AI generated Art:

"More thoughts on the big AI Generated Digital Art “debate” So this is from a conversation Thread I was having with a friend who is concerned that AI Gen. Apps are stealing from Artists (they are, no debate there, it’s how they work) and is it the end of Painters etc. We are friends and disagree (see how that works folks, you can still be friends and disagree and have different viewpoints) Anyhow here are some of my thoughts on it:

“ idk __________, It’s fine that this is something you are passionate about, and I respect you and that you are passionate about it. But honestly I think this whole thing is more of a nothingburger.

I remember being in Art School and rise of the graphic artist (or at least everyone wanting to be one, and all of that) and Digital Art and Painting first hit the scene and some of the painters in the school were freaking out. The end of Painting and no one was going to hire painters anymore etc etc. I remember even a few of the instructors, "well you guys had better learn photoshop etc etc."

And I also remembered one wise,, old Prof’s I had who said, "Learn your Craft, Make a name for yourself and you will have no problem selling your work."

And he was right. That was a tried and true and proven business model. Fine Artists have been doing that for a couple of thousand years.

The Reality is these are all shortcuts. Everyone is looking for the shortcut. So many of these young artists want to be a singer on the Voice, they chase Fame. These folks do not want to put the time or work into it. Christ! I know some young artists that don’t even spring the $30 bucks to have business cards made. I mean really how serious about their business are they? They desperately want to be known and make it. But you will never see them at ANY of the local shows or networking with gallery owners or out in the scene. Again how serious are they?

I mentor a gal, who when she first joined my Patreon (for that) wouldn’t bring herself to talk on the phone. Wouldn’t make a Phone call. I had to explain to her that, that is great that she feels that way, but to understand that Gallery Owners, Clients, Collectors etc wouldn’t be accommodating. That’s just how the game is. She course-corrected and after a lot of work is part of a big group show in Feb. Her first show. She’s excited and so am I for her.

*edit she wound up selling 2 Paintings! *

Now we’re pretty far-a-field from the Topic of AI generated digital art. But I have a very simple solution. If someone isn’t into it. This art doesn’t speak to them and all of that. Very Simple Solution: Don’t Buy It! There problem solved.

If there is no market for what they are trying to sell, the Trend will fizzle out.

But also keep in mind, that just because I don’t like Oatmeal Cookies, doesn’t mean that no one else shouldn’t have Oatmeal Cookies either. Artistic Censorship is a slippery slope. ”

*note this image was generated, for free over on www3.lunapic.com/editor (have fun, and if you are paying to have these done, you are Dumb!)

*** You want one of these actually painted on a canvas, Call or Email me, and I’ll make that Happen. And hey I won’t even charge you extra if you just want a Painting of me and Mei Ling here lol

*** To my knowledge no animals or Painters were harmed in it’s generation. At least we weren’t ;)

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chaceccrawford-archived · 2 years

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shopping adventures | chaia

who: kaia gerber ( @minicrawford ) & chace crawford

date: may 29th, 2022

location: oahu, hawaii

summary: chace and kaia go on a little shopping spree during the hawaii trip and a little bit of jealousy leads to a very pleasing afternoon.

warning: smut

Chace: After all the promo for the upcoming season of The Boys (which he certainly wasn’t done with yet and also had to do a few phone interviews for this morning) this short Hawaii vacation definitely came at the right time. Even if he’d been doing this tour with Kaia accompanying him, which was definitely already an upgrade from being on his own, it was still work in the end paired with jetlag due to a very different timezone. Well, at least they always found very pleasuring activities to deal with sleepless nights. One thing he usually wouldn’t count as such was going shopping. While he certainly did like making Kaia happy and actually considered any time spent together quality time, it was undeniably his least favorite activity. The fact that since the moment they’d entered the store the salesman, who had immediately approached Kaia, kept flirting with her despite him being right there maybe added to his initial dismay. Not that he’d shown any of it yet, he was honestly the last person to purposefully ruin this shopping experience for his wife just because it wasn’t his favorite thing to do, but when the flirting intensified in the lingerie section of the store and Kaia didn’t seem too opposed to it (all in a harmless manner but still) his previous relaxed mood shifted a little. There was something about watching Kaia enjoy flirting with another guy that riled him up slightly, jealousy starting to seep through his emotions, which in all honesty rarely ever showed. Well, only when his wife decided to give him a little taste of his own medicine. And he couldn’t deny the fact that despite the instant need to show this guy whose wife she actually was - he liked this little game. Because that was truthfully what it was - a little game Kaia and him did enjoy from time to time. Even though the feelings were certainly real. When they finally made it to the changing rooms after what felt like an eternity, Chace noticed that the salesman had followed them still. "I think I can take it from here." He told him as nonchalantly as possible though he was sure there was still some jealousy audible in his voice. With a quick glance at him and a cocky grin, the other guy let Kaia know that if she needed a second opinion he’d be at her service before he decided to follow Chace’s request to leave, causing Chace in return to exhale sharply. He waited outside while Kaia tried on the first of many outfits that stupid guy had convinced her she’d look good in, not that he would disagree because Kaia honestly looked good in everything but it still left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. Without much warning - and also because they were currently alone back here - he pulled back the curtain after barely giving her five minutes to change, stepping into the changing room and closing the curtain once inside. "That guy has some nerve." He muttered, his gaze meeting hers through the mirror in front of her before it wandered down her half-dressed body, the dress she’d put on hanging loosely around her waist. "Maybe you need a little reminder and he needs to be shown who you belong to." His voice was low and he didn’t even bother to hide the jealousy this time as he stepped closer and he pushed her back against his chest, his breath hot against her neck. "You liked his attention, didn’t you?"

Kaia: Their last week or so had been absolute blur in more than one way. First supporting and secretly (or not so secretly) fangirling over Chace and the next season of the boys, to her first time ever at Cannes film festival and now straight to Paradise. Kaia usually wouldn’t have even dragged Chace into a store, let alone while they were in Hawaii with some of the most gorgeous beaches at their disposal - but with great beaches come incredibly well stocked boutiques with beach wear. The place they entered certainly was any California girls dream, not a single piece the salesman pulled out not something she’d at least consider trying on. Admittedly, the longer they were there the less oblivious Kaia was to some not so subtle alterier motive on the man’s side and perhaps she had leant in a little. Or a lot. Especially once she had noticed Chaces demeanour changing ever so slightly. While she was more than used to him being his flirtatious self around parties, his mere presence commanding a room, it seemed that he was maybe not quite as accustomed to her version of this little game. A year ago this would have been them playing with fire, feelings bound to get hurt, but now? If anything it could possibly be considered foreplay, though by the time they’d reached the changing rooms any thoughts of her little flirt had been forgotten, her attention fully on the load of beautiful pieces in that changing room. At least until her husband sent the other male away before she could even object, her eyes wandering from Chace to the other man’s for a moment. “Thank you so much for the help!” The brunette added sweetly, her gaze drifting back to Chace with a somewhat questioning look on her face before she simply left him standing outside the changing room, only to be caught off guard when the curtain opened just moments later. While the model has briefly and instinctively covered herself when the curtain opened she visible relaxed once her eyes met Chace in the mirror. If his annoyance had been measured and kept at bay before he surely was showing just how unhappy he had been with their earlier companion and frankly, his jealousy surprised her. If anything the tables usually were turned. “He was only doing his job!” She knew defending the other man had potential to irk her husband even further, but in this moment she had a feeling his irritation was something she could indulge in, maybe even enjoy. “I think he really found some gems, don’t you think?” She added further as she attempted to properly put on the dress that was currently halfway on her body only to pause when she looked up at him through the mirror again, her gaze meeting his as she heard his words. So he was possessive after all. If anything, her only disadvantage in this exact moment was that he could quite visible see any single reaction his words caused on her half naked body, his hot breath against her neck more than just a little effective, but nowhere near as much as his question, although it made her hesitate for a moment. The answer ultimately was the only truthful one, her eyes studying his reaction as the single word left her mouth: “yes”

Chace: “Oh, so we’re also defending his clearly not pure intentions?” Chace raised his eyebrows, knowing that he was absolutely right (probably because he was kind of the same when he wasn’t fully committed) and Kaia did too, though he also knew for Kaia it really was just a flirt and she would never follow any invitation. She was his and he was hers, something both of them could trust in. And if he needed proof for that, her body’s reactions to him just being so close to her without even touching her much was exactly that. Yet her reply, the fact she’d enjoyed it, fueled his jealousy just enough for him to get even more determined to make sure to remind her of what they both already knew. “Yes? I think I will have to make sure to get this other guy out of your mind then.” His fingers slowly slid up her waist and then between them, his hand pushing her upper body slightly forward, “Bend.” He demanded and then added, “put your hands against the mirror.” His other hand was already busy pushing her dress up while his eyes were still focused on hers through the mirror.

Kaia: “You’re assuming his intentions were not pure - or mine!” Kaia argued despite the truth behind his words, the other man’s intentions had been quite clear and frankly, he had been bold to flirt right in front of Chace. The brunettes intention ended with a small flirt and yet she seemed to be getting rewarded for it. Her husbands jealousy undeniably excited her, but she had not expected him to take it further, if anything she was ready to try all these things on as quickly as possible before they could make it back to their hotel…or somewhere else that was private. “What…Chace, I don’t…!” Her body moved at his command without much hesitation, her eyes locked with his with what undeniably was excitement even if her voice and words sounded hesitant - at least until she smirked up at him. “Is that what you think he was thinking about as well?” She asked teasingly, worlds underline by the fact that her hands were slowly moving against the mirror as she bend, quite literally, to his will, back bend as her butt pushed against his further. “Does it turn you on? To think that another guy might want to bend me over just like this?”

Chace: There was a hint of a smirk on his face once he’d detected hers, the fact she was enjoying this a lot not even something she tried to hide and he couldn’t help the slight shake of his head. She knew exactly how to toy with him and his jealousy so they’d both most definitely benefit from it and he certainly wasn’t going to complain but that didn’t mean he’d stop playing along either. The scoff at her question was nonetheless a real display of disdain at the thought of what this guy would’ve loved to do to her, his fingers pushing her panties aside while his other hand now unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. There was obviously the risk that they wouldn’t be alone back here forever and it was likely that the salesman would check in on them eventually - honestly, it was something he was counting on. Not that he wanted him to see them but he wouldn’t mind if he undeniably knew that he was basically living this guy’s dream. “It turns me on that he wants to do it but I’m the only one who gets to fuck you right in this store he works at.” He almost growled, a hint of cockiness in his voice mixed with a level of certainty that their commitment to each other was as real as it could get, no matter who might try to get in between them. One hand was still holding her dress and panties in place while the other had pushed his pants down just enough to free his erection and enter her without letting much more time pass. After all, he was so turned on right now that letting this opportunity pass just because he waited too long wasn’t something he wanted. Chace gripped her waist as he buried himself deep inside her, slowly but roughly trusting into her all while his eyes eagerly watched her, not wanting to miss a single emotion on her face.

Kaia: The chances that they’d get caught weren’t exactly slim, quite the opposite and yet it seemed impossible to consider the possibility as anything but a risk well worth taking. Her husbands disdain for the other man mixed with her flirtation apparently had unleashed something within Chace she’d be an idiot to turn down, no matter how risky it was. Not to mention that the risk made it only more exciting in this very moment. “So he can continue to think about it for the rest of his life whenever he is working a shift all while you’ll get to have me every single day for the rest of your life?” Kaia continued to edge Chace on, though it was hardly necessary with the way her panties were already pushed to the side and the dress that was not actually yet hers nothing but fabric loosely hanging around her waist. The model released a breath she wasn’t quite aware she was holding at the sound of Chaces zipper opening, by now craving the way only he could make her feel, a fact that her wetness would clearly show the moment he buried himself inside of her roughly. The brunette has always liked it when Chace had been rough(er) with her, in the beginning possibly because it seemed like the kind of thing a cool girl would be into, later on because she knew she could trust him endlessly, boundaries constantly explored and defined as they went..which was exactly why the next words left her lips. “What are you going to do about me thinking about the possibility of him watching me try all these pretty little things on…letting him fantasise about me?” They’d played similar games before, Kaia getting very possessive in the bedroom…or any other place they might have found themselves in after she had watched Chace flirt with some blonde, pretty thing long enough to want to make sure he remembered that she made him feel better than any of them could, but she had never openly voiced that, even if it was completely harmless (because they both knew she was far too in love with the man whose eyes were locked with her through the mirror right now to ever let someone else touch her) that the thought of another guy had crossed her mind even just for a split second. Frankly, Kaia wasn’t sure if the thought had even crossed her mind until Chaces hands and words had inspired the thought, but her skin was tingling and the possibility of what they thought would turn this into.

Chace: God, did he love the way his wife never hesitated to edge him on. There was no denying that it always intensified the outcome, the climaxes he’d experienced with her unmatched to other sexual experiences he’d made - and there genuinely have been plenty. “Yes, that’s exactly what I had in mind.” He finally answered her question once he’d gotten rid of the unnecessary fabric between their bodies, moving his hips against hers as he held her somewhat in place. Her follow-up question caused him to grunt in slight disbelief, obviously not a fan of the thought that the other guy would potentially get more content for his fantasies by watching her play dress up. On the other hand, if that meant it was even more frustrating that he was the only one getting the real deal…. “I’d make sure he hears what a good fuck you are so he’ll know his fantasies, even if he gets to see you in all these clothes, will never be satisfying enough.” He smirked at her, the determination to make his words a reality already clear as daylight as he kept thrusting into her, not making an effort to hide what they were doing at all. Usually if they were having sex in public, he’d be a little more careful but if he wanted that guy to know what he was missing out on, that wouldn’t really make sense, right?

Kaia: Every single reaction her words elicited from him gave her more reason to continue, in one way she was certainly rewarded, the way his hips continued to move ferociously, hers now meeting his in an attempt to feel him even deeper within her if that was even possible. A small chuckle left her lips when he told her what it was he wanted to do..there was no denying the guy on the shop floor would have at least an inkling of what was happening in the changing room, if he had not actually heard them already. If they weren’t having this encounter in the privacy of a changing room she’d assume he perhaps would even have seen them on some security cam footage. One hand let go of the mirror and reached for his hair, her back arching as she did so as to not change her position too much and still move him closer to her, just so he could hear the whisper that left her lips, perhaps the only quiet thing about what they were doing right now. “And what would you do if I’d told you I want him to fantasise about me?”

Chace: His grip on her waist tightened as her words reached his ears, fingers digging into her skin and leaving marks for sure. Contrary to her words he liked the way she was trying to get him closer to her without changing their position much. Despite probably claiming multiple times that he hated when she messed up his hair, he not so secretly loved it - especially when she got a little rough and tugged at it. “What good would that do? The thought alone or him for that matter can’t get you off like I do.” Yes, maybe those words were cocky but jealousy certainly had the power to do that. Even if he didn’t actually mind as much that she wanted this guy to fantasize about her, mostly because he knew how dedicated to him (and him only) she was but also because… well, technically that would play into the whole frustrating the guy so badly that he’ll never have the real deal thing, too. But just for the sake of the sexual experience right here in this changing room in a clothing store in Hawaii, he allowed his jealousy to seep through and didn’t hold back. Which was also the reason why he then grabbed her hand to untangle it from his hair and pulled back, but only enough to turn her around so she’d face him and push her up against the mirror before entering her again. “I dare you to tell me again how much you want him to fantasize about you but look me in the eye this time.” He said, voice lowered so only she could hear him as his gaze locked with hers and he started thrusting into her again - long, deep strokes so he could rough it up depending on how daring her answer would be.

Kaia: The push and pull between them in this very moment felt unparalleled to anything ever before. Perhaps it was the vacation air that made them both even more daring, but whatever it was Kaia certainly enjoyed pushing her husbands buttons right now because so far it had only worked in her favour. “Mh, you think? I heard that average looking guys make up for it in the bedroom!” He had the answer coming, after all his own was so very cocky that he must have seen her push back on it from a mile away, something that actually made her think this was what he was hoping for. Not enough to for a split second wonder if something was the matter when he grabbed her hand, only to gasp loudly when her back his the mirror, eyes suddenly locked with his as his words made her lips switch into a smirk. Readjusting her own position slightly, one leg coming to wrap around his waist to force him even deeper inside of her the brunette reached for his hand, eyes not leaving his as she moved his hand over her body, guiding his fingers between them. “I bet he’s thinking of everything he’d do to get me off right now…just like you are!” Kaia finally whispered against her husbands lips, voice laced with lust - the kind that would forever be reserved for nobody but Chace.

Chace: If the reply to his question hadn’t already indicated that she wasn’t going to back down then the smirk on her face certainly did. Not that he’d expected anything else, really. If Kaia wanted to play, she’d do so until at least she was satisfied - a lesson he’d learned multiple times during their latest Vegas trip (but not that he didn’t eventually got rewarded for his patience also). The fact she wasn’t about his slower approach shouldn’t be as surprising yet he couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped him once she readjusted and pushed him deeper into her. Did he enjoy the fact that she was as needy as she always said she was? Yes but what he did enjoy even more than that was how bold and determined to get as much pleasure as possible she was each time they were having sex. Kaia was a bit shy when it came to expressing through words what she wanted but she never had a problem showing him just like she did right in this moment. And Chace wasn’t one to deny his wife her desires, his fingers easily moving against her clit, massaging it with a little added pressure as his lips caught hers in a kiss. A kiss he only broke moments later again when he heard footsteps approaching, the reason why they even were in this position in a changing room now asking Kaia if everything was okay or if she needed help with a zipper or anything, which in return made him wonder if he was still oblivious to what was going on or if he wasn’t and came back here hoping to make them uncomfortable - or stop what they were doing. Well, that guy obviously didn’t know him. “Answer him.” He whispered against her lips, grinning slightly as he certainly didn’t stop pleasuring her. In fact, he wanted to make sure the other knew what was happening behind the curtain.

Kaia: Kaia had not heard steps approaching, her sole and entire focus her husbands fingers caressing her clit all while she felt him pushing deeper inside of her. If that hadn’t been, the kiss they shared would have probably already distracted her enough, in fact it was the fact that he broke the kiss was what made her look up at him somewhat questioning as her teeth graced his bottom lip. It took her another second to register the voice outside of their dressing room. Ironically any and all thought of the guy had been very much forgotten. The brunette had been ready to scramble to get her clothes back on properly, frankly it would have dismayed her, but her husbands words surprised her. They shouldn’t have though. If all of this had been about proving a point, this was certainly how to do it. Kaia knew steadying her voice would take more than just a little effort, but so was not teasing her husband any further as she whispered back against his lips. “Should I ask him for help?” She whispered huskily, a hit of cockiness in her voice and yet, once she actually answered her voice betrayed her terribly, the breathy, shaky quality to it hard to ignore even if the sales guy would have really tried. “Mh, no…everything’s perfectly fine…! More than fine really…but I’ll show you when I’m done!” The last few words came out more of a moan as her eyes locked with her husbands again as her nails dug deeper into the back of his shoulders as her lips sought his again, the dirtiness of that kiss enough already for them to possible not only get kicked out of this place but arrested in reality.

Chace: To say that the questioning look on her face along with the fact that the guy he wanted to make her forget about now certainly must be aware of what they are doing led to him feeling very satisfied already would probably be an understatement. Not that he had ever doubted Kaia's loyalty or believed that this guy actually had become part of her fantasy, but witnessing what he was able to do and how he'd so easily made her forget about her surroundings was exhilarating. Especially when it was paired with her teeth gracing his bottom lip or a slightly cocky question whispered against his lips. The latter causing his grin to stretch even a bit wider across his cheeks for a moment before his expression changed a little, mirroring how turned on he was by the intensity of the look she was giving him right now. The kiss that followed seemed to be the perfect summary of how they both felt at that moment, the whole point of why he was fucking her in the changing room right now erased from his brain instantly. He didn't even recognize the silence that followed her reply from the guy or that he muttered an 'Okay' before he walked away again, the only thing that counted now was probably the release they were both anticipating - while probably simultaneously not wanting this moment to end. His moan was swallowed by their kiss, one hand gripping her butt, not even caring about the fact that with every thrust that hand was squeezed between her butt cheek and the mirror he was fucking her against as he was almost a little desperate to feel all of her and have her as close as possible despite himself being almost fully clothed still.

#//old thread alert lol #//cleaning out my drafts and this was still in it #❛ &. interaction ⋮ para #❛ &. interaction ⋮ para: shopping adventures #❛ &. featuring ⋮ kaia gerber #❛ &. i don't know what it is but i got that feeling ⋮ kaia gerber

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

Text

hawks_littledove.mp3

— You’re an avid listener to NSFW ASMR artist Hawks. It’s just your luck that he’s offered to have phone sex with you.

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pairing: takami keigo (hawks) x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, slight abuse of power/influence, phone sex, masturbation, degradation, praise, nsfw asmr artist!hawks

word count: 5,018

a/n: my keyboard is broken and i could actually cry. but hey, hawks do be sexy even tho I would never trust him with my life. also LOL this might be a call out to a lot of us, do not be offended or I will cry.

kinktober day 14 main kink: phone sex | kinktober masterlist

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Fantasizing about being in relationships with fictional characters was entirely healthy and normal.

That was something you believed to the core. It was fictional; thus, no one but you were to be hurt at the end of the day. The character, being fake, could never have an opinion because you must be real in order to have an opinion. So when you were between boyfriends, you discovered a new anime, and before you could stop yourself, you fell hard for a character.

It started as a mild obsession.

You had looked up fanart via google images, your heart warming when you saw the plethora of different fanart. The anime itself had been in circulation for a few years now, the manga for much longer, so the content was endless. Then google images wasn’t enough, and you began crossing into Twitter and Tumblr.

The fanart became better, more engrossing, and definitely much more NSFW. And then, one night during your endless rabbit hole down Tumblr after your daily search on Twitter, you stilled when seeing a new type of content.

⇒ grey fullbuster x reader

The obsession grew worse.

So much so that you had followed nearly five hundred self insert writers and artists on Tumblr, and maybe seven hundred artists, meta writers, and thread makers on twitter. But three months into consuming all the content you could find, you came across a new name that made you tilt your head.

Hawks Fierce Wings

It was a name that was being repeated and heavily talked about on both sites. It was an ASMR artist, apparently, and you frowned at the thought. You didn’t have anything against ASMR videos, but you weren’t exactly sure how to handle an anime ASMR artist. Were they cosplaying while making all those weird ASMR sounds? You really didn’t have any idea, but due to the immense boredom of your lazy day in, you decided to hell with it and tried out his most popular video.

It was simply entitled: Hawks is Jealous.

Did you have any idea as to who Hawks was? God, no, you didn’t. But if it was just some random cosplay he was going to do, you didn’t think it was going to matter. So as the only slightly educated ASMR listener, you never truly became invested when it was a thing; you slipped on your earbuds and pressed play.

The introduction screen faded into an illustrated picture of a slightly handsome man, and some calming yet tense music played in the background. You shifted, eyebrows drew as you waited for the ASMR session to begin, and when it did, you were not ready.

“I saw you walking around with that asshole today,” a voice practically growled in your ear, and you froze.

Oh, no.

Oh, no!

For almost an entire hour, you sat glued to your sofa, your fingers digging into your lap as the jealous, spiteful words of this man named Hawks poured bitterly in your ear. His words were a near aggravated assault on you and definitely something you were beyond uncomfortable hearing from a stranger, but there was something about his voice that kept you there. Maybe it was the tenor of his tone or the way there was this sly, cunning scent to his words that he seemed to hide deep within his throat, but there was something that kept you there.

The second the passionate, heated kissing noises and heavy moans began to spill from his lips, you screeched, slamming your laptop closed as your cheeks pounded heavily.

Oh my god?!

It took a bit, but eventually, you were able to finish the audio and quickly figured out why he was an NSFW artist. You had never, ever heard a man eat a pussy fake or real as eagerly or vigorously as he did. Your hands were gripping the pants of your leggings, and your chest heaved.

Oh, motherfucking shit.

Finding out there were almost seventy other videos for you to still experience sent you scrambling for more, and eventually, you had to confess you were obsessed. Despite the anime fandoms you had discovered him for, Hawks seemed to be more famous for the content he created as himself. His real name was unknown by the looks of it, and he was only addressed as Hawks by his audience, something you caught on to quickly. So only after creating a new profile for his Youtube account, you made quick work of liking and commenting on every single of his already published seventy-eight nearly one hour and thirty-minute videos.

Each one was different.

Each one filled with various roadmaps on how Hawks' scenarios would play out for you — the listener. When he used his own persona, he called the listener his little dove or his chicken nugget, sometimes his KFC thigh, or his shish kabob.

You were glad at the very least he didn’t call you by any of those nicknames when pretending to fuck you at a speed only a “porn-is-my-only-education-on-porn” virgin teenage boy. You knew it wasn’t ideal, usually, but for some reason, it just worked. You commented on everything, read his summaries and thoughts on each video. Eventually, when you found yourself on his final, most recent video, you were ready to go a step further.

The Patreon app on your phone seemed jarringly out of place as you opened the app and subscribed yourself to Hawks' highest tiered option for the price of twenty USD.

And when you got your access to his page, you were immersed in more heavier, better content.

It was a goldmine in a sea of fools gold, and you absolutely went insane.

You weren’t sure if you were insane, needy, or just straight-up idiotic for scrolling to the very first Patreon post and indulging in the content Hawks created.

There was a stark difference between the warnings alone between the Youtube videos and the Patreon posts. While the porn was readily accessible on Youtube, the kinkiest thing that ever happened in a video was a slight implication that Hawks had left the listener on a vibrator and fuckmachine as he went to go talk to the visiting neighbors.

It was a slight, tiny zone out and miss a detail, but one you had clung onto like an obsessed psycho and even commented on in your comment on the post. Of course, Hawks hadn’t responded, not that you had ever expected him to because all things considered, a video that was eight months old and hadn’t done that well, to begin with, didn’t seem like anything he would remember: notifications and all.

But Patreon? Oh good, sweet, ravishing Patreon.

The very first video was of the following:

Stepbrother!Hawks fucks Stepsister!Listener in the stairwell during Christmas Dinner.

After praying and swearing to all the deities of the world that you were merely a person with a voice kink for this man and not, in fact, a perverted pseudo-incest worshiper, you clicked on it and began. It was downright sinful.

There were active voices whispered in the background as Hawks laughed about how fucking slutty you were for letting your brother fuck you like this. In the hallway, like a dog, where anyone in your joint family could walk out into. He laughed that you probably wanted it, how your wet ass pussy was greedily sucking him in, so how could you even begin to deny your lust for your brother.

You had to take a break five times during that audio.

Eventually, you do end up catching up.

Each video he had ever posted to your disposal, and most likely due to the different tier levels, you always commented on the videos. Even if it made you feel awkward for lusting over things months old, even if there were no other comments on the videos, which was much more common than you thought, you always commented and liked. It wasn’t anything ever crazy, you had seen the rarest comments bring a whole essay of analysis on why they loved it or the hating words, but you kept it simple.

Just something to keep Hawks spirits high without draining you even further of energy.

A simple: holy shit, that was hot as fucking hell!!!! you never disappoint me!!!

You never expected anything out of it; as a matter of fact, you had merely thought that you were doing the least by merely appreciating his creations when, one night, a few hours after you had gotten home. Your phone chimed with an alert.

Your mouth formed an ‘o’ in surprise; you hadn’t realized there was going to be a new release after he had just updated four days ago. Still, you popped in your earbuds and began the audio with a simple title.

i fuk ur stupid lil pus until u cri

He wasn’t precisely putting much effort into his titles these days, but his tags were definitely accurate and entirely explicit in what was to come. And in this newest video, the prominent tag was degradation.

You weren’t entirely into degradation, but still, you did what you had to do because you weren’t turned off by it. With the beginning sounds of the music playing in the background, you warped into the situation Hawks carefully carved.

But, oh?

Your face simmered with heat as Hawks dirty words dripped from the earbuds, the wet, squelching noise of your cunt and throat being fucked like some inanimate object made you soak through your panties as his disparaging words burned against your spine like a hot brand. After the thirty-minute audio was finished. Your body trembling with the aftershocks of an orgasm that had come despite the lack of actual stimulation of your clit, and you panted on your bed.

Opening your phone once again, you quickly liked the new audio and typed out your comment.

listen, i know i always comment about how fucking hot this shit is, but i have /never/ fucking soaked through my panties… you just did that and i expect a full refund for these panties 💦

You pressed send and, without so much of a second thought, continued your night. You had dinner, talked with friends, and ended the night curled back on the couch with a wine glass in your hand and a simple sit-com playing on the TV. The familiar sound of the Patreon alert rang in your ear, and you frowned, confused.

Grabbing your phone, you opened up the device and nearly shrieked at the sight of the information the notification that said:

Hawks F.W.: lets see those panties before i refund anything

A chill ran down your spine as you quickly put together the indications of this message, and you smirked, despite your quivering hands.

Me: I have a seven inch dick requirement before seeing any of the goods — yes, that includes my panties

And from that very moment, you began a strange arrangement between you and the NSFW ASMR artist Hawks.

Working was the worst part of your life, you would say.

At work, you would sit in your small 4x4 cubicle, your shelves stacked with plenty of papers and items you needed, not to mention the computer that took up the majority of your desk. You weren’t quite sure what your job here was, you sort of sat at your desk and did meaningless assignments when assigned, but you did nothing for the most part.

Before becoming an active Hawks stan, you would spend your time doing nothing playing video games. You had somehow managed to install a VPN onto your hard drive so that your employers wouldn’t be able to see what was on your screen outside of the home screen. They couldn’t trace what you did all day, but they could care less, given you got all your work completed on time and done in an over exceptional way.

But lately, since you had dropped into this… engrossed whore like relationship with Hawks, things changed.

To be honest, it still shocks you to no end when he tells you that he had always been aware of you. Well, with your consistent, ever appearing comments on his posts and overall enthusiasm for everything he posted, it was hard to not be aware. The mental image of your soaked through panties after a long day at his own work had sent him over the edge, and he finally messaged you.

Through the DM’s in Patreon, the two of you grew to become quite the friends with benefits. He would send you countless personalized audio files because you had quickly confessed to your voice kink and how his voice sent your stomach into hormonal knots. In return, you’d send the picture of an occasional soaked panty, and if he was lucky, an audio clip of your pathetic whines back to his audios.

You couldn’t complain about this arrangement.

But as the number of his patrons doubled, and he wanted to entice his subscribers with paying him even more money, Hawks began to offer a bimonthly personalized five minute audios for his $20 tier. The fans poured into that spot, and Hawks and proudly sent you the new number of adoring fans he was getting. On account of growing platforms such as Tiktok, the number of new listeners he got was nearly exponential, as he currently passed one million followers last week.

The cheeky bastard was also making enough money to stop working his regular work hours anymore. Choosing to transition slowly into his Patreon career while recording.

Hawks, however, seemed to have other ideas for your eventual personalized voice audio.

Hawks had simply asked if, by any chance, you were going to be working tomorrow the night before. Groaning loudly in recognition of your work schedule, you had texted him back that you were going to be working. Snidely including the fact that you weren’t rich like him, you needed the tedious old nine to five job.

Hawks: how utterly boring anyway u can b free around 2?

Me: Eh… probably not. Busy girl w busy schedule, ill be back from lunch so no break Why?

Hawks: well, u knw tht uve been amzing & th bst follower so i wanted 2 give u smthing better then the personalized audio

Me: Oh? Well, what is it?’

Hawks: pick up tmrw n find out

He had changed the subject immediately afterward by dodging all of your questions with ease. So you dropped it, and the two of you resumed a night of flirting. But now, sitting in your small cubicle, your eyes flashing to the clock that read 1:57 p.m., sweat began to build on your palm.

You peered down to your phone as you waited for something, anything from Hawks to show up. The fucker was too cheeky, evasive, and quick for his own good. You felt like pouting as you glared at the phone, waiting for the screen to light up.

And you stilled when finally, at precisely 1:59 p.m., your phone gleamed with light. You couldn’t abandon your computer mouse quicker than you did as you grabbed your phone, unlocking it, and reading the message from Hawks.

Hawks: do u have earbuds?

Me: Yes?

Hawks: good put them on n pick up

The moment you had read the first message, you were already pulling out your earbuds, synching them up to your phone, and placing them into your ear. But your jaw dropped when, for the first time, the call feature highlighted onto the screen, the time immediately changing to that of 2:00 p.m. The decline or accept button had never looked as daunting as it did right now.

Despite the call trying to go through, you still saw his follow up.

Hawks: if u dont pick up u wont get shit

[Accept]

You felt your heart hammering in your chest as both fear, apprehension, and excitement boiled through your veins, the hammering blood pounding in your ears as you waited for some sort of noise on the opposite side of the line.

“Little dove?” Hawks' voices filled your ears, and despite yourself, you smiled softly. The naturalness of his voice sends warm thumps down your spine.

“Hi, Hawks,” you whisper breathlessly, your head already checking to make sure your neighboring cubicle mates didn’t try to look over the divisions to stare at you. For the most part, the office building was quiet except for the phone calls, the clanking of computer keys, and the monotonous music playing softly on the speaker's head.

“Whatcha doing?” he drawled, and you felt your skin heat up when you heard the all too familiar sound of his shoes hitting the top of his desk, the soft whine of his chair as he leaned back onto it. “Are you really at work?”

“What do you mean, am I really at work?” you squeaked, half horrified at the way the lazy, warm heat of lust was infiltrating your body at the sound of his voice, and the annoyance that he thought you had been lying? “Of course I am; it’s two p.m. on a Wednesday!”

“Ah, so little dove-chan is a raging pervert who engages in phone sex to bypass her long hours at work?” Hawks sighed his tone that of understanding and dismissal. You splutter. “You never fail to surprise me.”

“I do not do… that!” you stammer, your face feeling like hot cinders, your fingers and eyes double-checking to make sure that the audio was going to your earbuds and your earbuds only. You also couldn’t help the way your eyes swept around you, trying to make sure you hadn’t accidentally invited unwanted attention. “I said I was busy!”

“But, you picked up my call?”

“You said, or else!”

“Mmm, okay, I think I see,” Hawks tutted, and although you had never seen what you supposed to be his handsome face, you could imagine a lazy, toothy smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind using your little cubicle to talk you into fucking yourself good for me.”

Your jaw drops.

It hits the desk, and the muffled shriek of utter humiliation is only silenced because you bit onto your tongue like a rabid animal.

“Aw, you sound so excited for me already, little dove. I bet you want to know what I’m going to do to you, don’t you? I just know that I’m going to make you feel so... good…”

“Hawks!” you plea in a hushed whisper, your heart hammering where you sat frozen like a deer in headlights. Sure, you had definitely played his audios before to pass the time, but never before in your existence had you had actual phone sex. This was riskier than just listening to his audios; his audios always had a pattern, a way to escape from the madness of his voice when people were closer than you’d like. But this? No, there was no escape. “I’m at work! I c-can’t!”

“But, fuck, I want you so bad,” Hawks' voice dipped into a gravely tone, his voice just perfectly scratchy enough that your shoulders trembled in unspoken, untouched want. “I want to feel your cunt around my cock, baby, your pussy is so hot and I want to be the fucking lucky bastard that gets to fuck you through your bed.”

“O-Oh my god…”

“I’ve been thinking of what your tits look like,” Hawks continues on, his voice continuing in the style you liked the most. It was raw, heavy, and deep. No character impersonations, just him, pure Hawks. “I hope they bounce the way they do when I imagine you riding me. I want to see you moan when I kiss the underside of your tit, I want to see your face when you realize that you’re my girl, nobody's else's, but mine.”

Heat floods your panties at his words, your shallow breaths making him chuckle on the other end.

“You’d be so lucky to be just mine, wouldn’t you, little dove?” Hawks snaps, his voice demanding a response, and you heave.

You look around, no one is near, and you croak out: “I’d be so lucky.”

“Louder.”

“I’d be so lucky.”

“Mm, there we go,” Hawks laughs, and your ears prickle for any noise that may indicate that someone was listening in. “What? Are you getting nervous that your needy ass will be heard by your coworkers right now? Answer me.”

“Mhmm,” you hum loudly, your cunt pulsing with more incredible heat and your hands shaking with a slight fear of being caught.

“Aww, don’t worry, little dove. I’m sure your boss will understand that you’re my newest fucktoy and will let me continue. Maybe they’ll want to join in?”

You whimper softly, shifting in your seat at that thought. You didn’t really want your boss coming anywhere near you, he was old and gross for one, and nothing could take the place of this beautiful man's voice in your ear right now.

“Oh, was that a no? You don’t want other people fucking you, do you, y/n? I bet you only want to have my cock in your tight little pussy, bet you want to watch the way that greedy little thing sucks me in, begging for my seed. Would you want me to cum deep inside you? You would like that little dove; you’d like to be full of my cum.”

“H-Hawks,” you keen as quietly as you can, your hips shifting uncomfortably in your seat, your heart hammering in your throat. The pressing heat in your cunt is growing, your panties growing with wet slick as Hawks' voice whispers down your ear, filling every empty and void space in your brain until you were having trouble focusing on the very much public spot you were in.

Hawks let out a soft, guttural moan, and you froze, face entirely combusting into an inferno as the familiar slick slapping of his fapping cock filled your ear. Immediately, you forgot everything.

“A-Are you—?!” you splutter, unable to find the words or the energy to come up with a way to ask if he was masturbating right now. Your eyes spun, your mind in a complete haze as soft, raunchy moans spilled from his lips, striking against your nerves and soul with each successive sound.

“I’m only trying to help you out here, dove,” Hawks growled, undoubtedly in effect to a rather loud smack of his fist colliding with his thrusting hip. “You’re the little office slut who picked up a phone call to entice in phone sex. I bet you knew exactly what I was going to do, and your pathetic, needy whore self caved to my instructions.”

Your fingers curled into the armrest of your chair.

“I bet this makes your boring ass job tolerable, the perfect distraction to a shit job, then imagining a few minutes of fucking yourself against my hard cock.”

“That’s not true!”

“No?” Hawks laughed, not believing you any more than you did. “So you wouldn’t hate it if I showed up and fucked you into the wall of your cubicle? You wouldn’t mind if I claimed your sweet-smelling pussy against your desk for everyone to hear? I know you can scream like a bitch in heat. I know that pretty little cunt of yours would milk my cock dry. Oh, I just know you would look so fucking sexy with your back arched, eyes closed, and you begging for hours just to cum. You wouldn’t cum without my permission, right?”

You gasped, heart fluttering, hammering in your chest as you shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak.

“I need a verbal answer, little dove.”

The heat in your core was blistering, your thighs shaking with your unadulterated lust and need as you ground into the cushion of your chair. All logic and moral long gone as he snarled and moaned your name in your ear, the slick of his fapping cock echoing like a great bell in your ear. You wanted to hear him cum, wanted to listen to the pithering sound of his echoing moans as he spilled the contents of his balls onto his hand — and how you wished it was your womb.

“I won’t cum w-without your permission!” you whispered, your skin shivering with your fear of being caught.

“God, you sound like such a dirty fucking bitch. I bet your pussy is fucking soaked already. Bet you really want to run that slutty embarrassed finger against your clit but don’t want to be caught by your perverted coworkers,” Hawks hissed, his breaths turning into steady, heavy hot pants. You mewl softly, confirming his spoken thoughts, and he huffs out a laugh. “How many fingers do you normally shove up that pretty cunt of yours, little dove?”

“T-Three!” you gasp, your forehead pressing to the cool of your desk, your eyes glazed over and looking at the entrance of your cubicle, fervently wishing that no one tries to check on you as you grind against your stable chair. “O-Only three fit.”

“Fuck, you really do have a tight cunt, don’t you,” Hawks snaps, the wet sounds of his fisting hand around his cock a beautiful melody in your ear that makes you whine at the back of your throat. “Bet you can’t even fit cocks up your cunt without lube, huh. You gotta stay on top, or else you’ll get hurt with how thick and long my cock will be up that baby pussy of yours.”

“H-Hawks!” you grit out, the friction of grinding on the seat no longer working.

“Go to the bathroom, now,” Hawks commands, the small gasps on his voice from his approaching orgasm more than enough ammo for you to do as told.

You sprint to the bathroom, the slick of your cunt hot, and evident to you as you sped to the bathroom. Your phone clenched in your hand as you locked the door behind you, glad the room was empty. Barely managing to get yourself into the stall, the toilet paper placed on the seat as you raised your legs up, already prepared. The skirt you wore was bunched above your ass, and the panties you wore, stretching out around your knees.

“Sounds like you’re ready to start fucking that pussy for me,” Hawks laughs, but there's no humor, just bite. “Put in three fingers, now.”

Without even arguing or caring, three fingers slip into your cunt, and you cry at the feeling of your fingers completely stretching you out. The smell of sex and slick filling your nose as your fingers slick up, fucking your tight cunt as you moan louder and louder for Hawks.

“God, your fucking pussy is so fucking wet, I can hear it from here!” Hawks moans, the frantic sound of his drilling hips gaining speed and momentum.

“I want it to be you!” you moan, your face burning in your humiliation. “I want it to be you fucking my pussy, claiming me in this bathroom. I need you, Hawks, I want your cock so badly!”

“Fuck,” Hawks gasps, something tumbling in the background. “Such sweet words for a fucking dirty ass cumslut,” he growls, and your legs shake, your clit and cunt thrumming with your increasing arousal and pit of tightness in your core.

“HAWKS, FUCK!” you sob as your hips try to start a merciless speed against your fingers, your body trying to match the speed in which Hawks was fucking his own hand.

“Keep screaming my name, whore.” Hawks gasps, his noises of pleasure beginning to grow louder and louder, your eyes crossing in satisfaction. “Screaming my name like the fucking slutty mess you are. All this shit just to get me to fuck you? God, you’re so fucking pathetic y/n. Begging for me, begging for more? I think you’re my favorite little dove ever, gonna make you mine whenever I get to fuck that pussy.”

“Hawks!” you wail his name again, your arms and pussy throbbing with the energy it takes to keep up with his inhumane speeds. Your vision seeing stars as you tremble more and more, your legs slipping from the toilet seat, yet. “I am your whore, your little dove. Please let me come, please! You fuck me so well, fucking hell, please, I needa cum, I needa cum!”

“Cum with me,” he snaps, his voice so deep, so dangerously smooth. It was precisely what you needed, the voice kink you had for his tenor exactly fulfilled entirely with that simple, last command. And just like that, your jaw slackens, head slamming backward, and pleasurable waves crash through you.

Your fingers still rock at your clit, and your vice gripped walls, your toes curling within your shoes as you soundlessly scream. Hawks, on the other end, is practically snarling, voice deep and altogether dangerous as grunt after grunt leaves him, and you can imagine the milk-white cum splattered all over his chest and hand. A beautiful, perfect sight that you wish you could see for yourself.

Exhaustion settles in your bones as you sit on the toilet, still entirely exhausted as you heave for air.

“I think that was the best fucking orgasm I ever had,” you mumble, your eyes closed, not ready to stand up and move. “Thank you.”

“I’m good at what I… at what I do,” Hawks stumbles, husky exhaustion ringing in his own voice. “Now, little dove, finish up work, and I promise there’ll be a surprise waiting for you when you’re done.”

Not entirely agreeing, but not disagreeing with his command to go finish you last… two and a half hours at work, you begrudgingly said goodbye to Hawks before washing your hands and exiting the bathroom.

When five o’clock came, you watched as your phone screen lit up, and your face flushed as you read the DM from Hawks.

Hawks: this is my fav audio now ↳ hawks_littledove.mp3 but you surprised me today, so in case u ever want to have more fun sometime call me 03-9183-2495 ;)

#hawks smut #hawks x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #bbs kinktober 2020

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1ore · 2 years

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Now that I have internet i can spring this on you from the ask meme C:< (edited the wording on it for my own personal clarity LOL) 23. Introduce an OC that has changed a lot from your first draft of them

Oh man. Okay here's a long one because I’m going and going and going and g

Old Mora has the funniest visual development I think, just because she’s as old as Moribund itself is, and you can tell just how badly I struggle to nail down her design. I think I’ve finally gotten the challenging bits out of the way, but I need to draw her more to get everything else in order.

In Moribund, there’s this concept of the world being birthed and given motion by the interplay of two ur-beasts, an osprey and a snake. It’s not technically correct to say that Old Mora is the definitive osprey, but she rhymes with it, if that makes Any sense at all. So designing her is kind of like designing that in terms of “need to be getting it right”

In her earliest drafts (early ~2014 above) she looked a lot like the ur-snake, funny enough. The defining features of her face came to me all at once, like it should be impossible to tell which side is up and which is down, she should have a jowl window that doubles as an eye, a throat that doubles as an iris, streaming light-tears that are like threads in the eye of the needle, an arrow-shaped beak, etc. And I was really attached to this specific face for a long time, but the rest of her body wasn't coming to me.

like this is very cool but this is not my beautiful wife. (also 2014)

At some point, I went in the fucked up handbird direction, and I stayed there for a longo time too.

These wyvern-y ones are from 2014 as well. I remember the bottom one being kind of a bolt of inspiration re: uncanny feethands and winghands, but looking back she does just look like Smooth Lugia here.

2014/2015 was when Moribund started to find its way in terms of like, cohesive vision and feel of the world, (and also just me as a visual artist finding my way to drawing what I really liked to draw) and I think one of those growing pains was Mora moving from slippery handdragon to giant death bird.

Then I finally knocked the silly beak horns off her face.

Then in 2015 Iuhhhhhhh

violence magenta and indigo blue became morb (TM) blue-black and red. her beak is extremely funny here. you can tell i was struggling so bad, but I forgive her. I still like this piece.

she kind of middles around here for a while. She is pretty much quadruped for all of these; I experiment with making her handwings into seperately-motile coverts and primaries.

During this time I am so very concerned with wings and with the launching power of birds vs. pterosaurs and with figuring out a quadruped Mora.

Long story short: Birds can only get so big, because there’s a tradeoff between having more wing muscle and having more leg muscle. Your legs aren’t what you use to fly, so as they get bigger, they’re better for launching but heavier and more unwieldy while flying. If you get more wing muscle to compensate for carrying them, then that means you are now heavier and need more leg muscle to initially get you in the air. Eventually, you hit a ceiling where you either can’t launch, because you don’t have enough power out back, or you can’t fly, because the clap of your asscheeks keeps alerting the gravity. But pterosaurs can get Absolutely Ginormous because their wing muscles are also their launching muscles and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and then I get over it, because I like birds and mora looks cute but kind of dorky on all fours. (^ 2016)

(2018 ^) She’s allowed to get more organic over time. At some point I ditch the feethands completely, but I still choose to struggle with her beak teeth.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. that’s a design issue I had with her from day one. Drawing Mora from the front was a logistical nightmare because she’s so... shape (^ 2018)

I flirt with giving her perforated nostrils and making her more condor-like. (^2019)

doesn’t seem to stick. im still not giving up her beak teeth, but they’re still causing me problems. I want to go back and fix this piece actually, because it’s so recent but she looks sooooo dorky here. (^2021)

From here I think her most important additions are a.) extremely big feather boots and b.) moving the beak teeth up to her jowls. which fixes everything, for some reason

she's been one of those design journeys where a lot of the ideas were cool in isolation, but had to be abandoned because they just weren't serving the actual character that she is: a really big death bird who is also, like, just a woman.

now i just have to make good on drawing her more. and not at two in the morning. waw.

#THANK YOU REED!!!#now if youre asking about which character changed in writing the most over time thats a very different question #for lore who is not awake at two in the morning #i think ill do that aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tomorrow #uncaptioned images tag #sorry about that i have no brainmeat left #Tomorrow. tomorrow.#mora tag

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proudheron · 2 years

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girl guide sash tour!

shiny brass pins and evidence of my handsewing skills (after like 40 hours of lessons lol) (also the only thread we ever owned was black). i remember being furious that i had spent 2 years in brownies (age 6 and 7) doing activities i didn't enjoy with people i didn't like and not getting badges or pins or any insignia at all. i had only joined for the insignia!! once i turned 8 and got into guides proper i was finally happy.

once a year we got assigned into teams of 5 or 6 named after birds or flowers. the gender is so heavy handed in retrospect. i was in bluebird, violet, and then the final year i was in charge of my team so i got to choose. lily of the valley has the prettiest name and best embroidery and its also poisonous. the taste! i really put my all into sewing this one nicely.

we gathered in an old church gymnasium that had 4 tiny storage closets. the closets were so musty and lit by a single lightbulb and filled with half-broken hand-me-down furniture. but we got to decorate them and spend 15 minutes a week chilling in the closet with no adult supervision and it was great. i think we were supposed to discuss something but mostly i read animorphs that older kids had left behind.

uhoh queen alert. i'm still mad that i never got my final camping badge, after 3 miserable rainy days. my luggage, my sleeping bag, it was all soaked. every time i think i might like to go tenting, i think about my missing camping badge. yes, there is one on ebay for 4 dollars, but it's funnier to stay mad forever.

this is the back side! my prizes, my treasures!

collection badge my beloved. the colour and design are gorgeous. and i love the brutal efficiency of my two-stitch sewing job. i showed off my coin collection, which i guess will have to be another post.

later on we see that i gave up on sewing them altogether. love the choice of dandelion for the wildflower identification badge.

most of the badges were pretty phoned in, just like a lecture and a short craft. the requirements were vague enough that it seemed to me you could colour a picture of a cow, or raise a market steer. i had expected rigour and discipline and i felt betrayed!! for cross country skiing, on a weekend getaway in the country, the adults didn't come outside, just strapped us in and sent us outdoors. i spent a long while face-first in a snowbank unable to stand up, but i got a badge for it. boat safety on the other hand was an intense training where we capsized and uncapsized canoes in an olympic pool. that one was actually legit. i don't remember how my calligraphy obsession began but could it have been from this badge? there's a lot i don't remember.

i had no idea how to use a compass or start a campfire until this year, so idk what those badges were for. but we've reached the end. this horse girl pin is not a girl guide thing at all but it was my most prized possession at the time. should i start wearing it again. it's 2 am and i have to wake up in 4 hours. it's been fun to reminisce a little!

#i had forgotten about those weird closets #wish i had photos #talking about stuff i did/learned in girl guides is the number one way i out myself to strangers lol

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stillness-in-green · 3 years

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MVA In Memoriam (3/5)

The Comprehensive Account of the Butchering of My Villain Academia

(Introduction and Part One, Episode 108: My Villain Academia) (Part Two, Episode 109: Revival Party)

Part Three, Episode 110: Sad Man's Parade

Chapter 229 – All It Takes Is One Bad Day

• The full first page, of Jin getting mobbed by Puppet!Jins, them tearing his mask off, and flinging it and then him away. Saved them a bit of budget, I suppose, but it’s a shame to lose the drama and the violence of Twice having his mask pulled away, since it’s decent foreshadowing (indeed, possibly intentionally so, on Skeptic’s part) for the violent bewilderment he’ll be subject to shortly.

• Re-Destro’s line, “Not when he’s using his meta-ability to puppeteer, unless you want another nagging lecture.” They didn’t keep the first nagging lecture, so of course they wouldn’t keep this. I’m still annoyed, both on general principle and at the loss of RD’s implication that these nagging lectures are a regular occurrence, especially if one tries to bother Skeptic when he’s using his meta-ability. Has RD himself been on the receiving end of one? Possibly so! But you’d be less likely to think so just from the anime.

• Re-Destro’s line, “This allowed our warriors to momentarily hold back and stay out of danger.” Because why would the audience need to know that Skeptic planned for and Re-Destro cares enough to observe something like that lol?? Obviously the MLA is perfectly content to just throw their peoples’ lives away because, whatever, more where that came from! Dammit, anime, the fandom believes this enough as it is without confirmation bias from your cuts!

• Skeptic’s “fufufu” laugh, because the anime is allergic to the MLA having fun.

• The police officer’s line, “Sure, but in a case like this, you’re still to blame.” The rest of the exchange hints at it, of course, but there’s a horrifying callousness to a police officer just saying straight to the face of a teenaged orphan facing his first offense, “Yes, you were obeying the law perfectly and this guy just ran out in front of you, but it’s going on your criminal record anyway, whatever.” A weight the anime lost, and another that makes me very suspicious of the patterns behind what, precisely, was put on the chopping block.[1]

• Jin’s narration, “That police officer couldn’t have known. Me neither.” Demonstrates that Jin doesn’t really hold his fall against the one policeman. It’s a consistent thread with Jin’s character that, while he’s very jaded, he’s not actually vengeful, nor is he looking to enact systemic change. While he’s very defensive of his friends, people who hurt Jin himself are never in any real danger of him coming to collect his pound of flesh in return; he just rolls with it as part of how the world works, in the way of someone who was never given reason to believe any different. This line is a good example of that.

• From Jin’s old employer’s angry rant, deletes the note that the client that called is angry, and that the client said, “That young punk of yours did this!” It’s nothing that wasn’t obvious from the rest of the conversation, but I do I think cutting it loses a sense that this guy is just unloading all of his frustration and fear on Jin. The length of the screed, the extra details—it clearly communicates that Jin’s boss is so angry and upset he’s not paying any real mind to filtering, but just recounting every point of contention the moment they come into his mind.

• In modern society, when you’re someone without roots… Well, not a lot of people can relate to that.” It isn’t just the police that failed Jin; it’s a whole society that’s distrustful of people who don’t have a place in the fabric, and thus are unwilling to try and bring them into it. Like Tenko, there are a thousand little places where someone could have reached out a hand, but no one ever did. The audience can intuit this, but I feel it’s better to be clear about it—it’s not just the legal system that screwed Jin over; it’s every other person that never tried to help him because they were afraid of his eyes or distrusted a guy who had no connections. When Shigaraki comes, he’s not going to be coming for heroes alone; he’ll be coming for this entire tapestry of indifference and timidity.

• Skeptic’s lines, “Hrm? Fighting back? I was sure he’d either flee or cower in place... We didn’t anticipate such unity between them.” This gets at two things. Firstly, and once again, that the MLA did their research; that they came into this with educated expectations and a definite plan. Secondly, an in-character observation of what the arc has been showing the audience all along: that the League isn’t just a disparate gang of hoodlums anymore; that they’re developing real bonds. Those bonds mark them as unusual—Re-Destro comments on it in 223, as did Overhaul in 147; even Mr. Compress remarks disapprovingly on Twice’s “habit” of getting overly attached to people. It’s striking that, even though the MLA knew from Giran’s records that the League was uncommonly well-bonded, Twice’s devotion still fell outside Skeptic’s parameters.[2]

• Again Skeptic’s line, “Now his legs.” The drones don’t actually get this far (though you can see them gearing up for it on the next page), so it’s a reasonable enough cut, but it does emphasize the ludicrous, over-the-top extremes Skeptic in particular is willing to go to in securing what he wants. If, you know, “Kidnap the doubler so we have a method to make copies of the Grand Commander at our leisure,” wasn’t bonkers enough.

• Twice’s line, “Even against Gigantomachia!” It really highlights just how much mental energy Twice has been dedicating to avoiding injury, that he was able to keep it in mind even fighting a foe as overwhelming, and for as extended a period, as Machia. And like, the anime blitzed over the Machia fight so quickly, and with so little visible wear and tear to the League, that it really could have used all the reminders it could find room for about how intense those six weeks were.

• Twice’s line, “I won’t watch a friend die!” Such an important line that the composer named an entire track for it, not that the anime gave us that track in the moment it was clearly scored for. They added in a new line later in the scene which mostly gets the important sentiments back in, but loses out in being slightly less fitting to his breakthrough. See the Additions portion of the write-up on Chapter 230, following.

Framing Shifts

• The policeman in Jin’s flashback looked up at him in the anime, where in the manga, his eyes stay down on his paperwork the entire time. I realize that anime can’t just still-frame every panel of a manga and call it an adaptation,[3] so characters will do things like move and look around in different directions just in the course of inhabiting a room, Still, in this case, it has the effect of making the officer look more alert and engaged than he was in the manga, and given that this whole chunk of backstory is about Jin slipping through the social safety net, it feels appropriate to me that the officer should be completely checked out.

Additions

• A new shot of Jin(s) in his pre-massacre doppelganger army days. Didn’t tell us anything we don’t already know—it’s little more than a new angle of the gang in the truck—but it was nice to see.

Bonus Note

• They left Re-Destro’s phrase, “My company,” alone when he was talking about the micro-transceivers Skeptic was using. That’s accurate to the manga, but I’d like to remind everyone that, at that point in the anime, viewers whose only reference is the anime itself have no idea that Re-Destro is a businessman. The show skipped the commercial, RD’s intro, the dinner scene where his company comes up, and Giran’s association of RD with Detnerat; it will further go on to skip Shigaraki recognizing him from the commercial. The news report mentioning Detnerat was ten full episodes prior to Episode 110, and was followed up on in not the faintest degree. For heaven’s sake, would it have been so hard to have Hirata Hiroaki say, “My Detnerat’s,” instead of just, “My company’s”?

Chapter 230 – Sad Man’s Parade

• Deleted the MLA members that are attacking Compress as they get pushed off by the Twice wave. Not the first time, and not the last, that the anime didn’t animate the random MLA people on the street. It’s hard to take the threat of their numbers seriously when the anime kept deleting them from what are supposed to be crowd scenes, you know?

• Mr. C thinking worriedly about Dabi as he’s mulling over Geten’s strength and disregard for catching his own people in the collateral damage. It’s just a, “Dabi—!” but it’s yet another tiny cut that shaves away at the manga’s clear depiction of Leagues’ concern for one another—even Mr. Compress, who claims that such things aren’t very villainous.

Framing Shifts

• Changed the random MLA’s exhortation to kill all the Twices to a generic, “Damn—!” I know American censors have often taken issue with the words “Kill” and “Die” in kids’ cartoons, but I was never of the impression that that was the case in Japan. And it’s not like the show made any bones about Curious planning to kill Toga. A rephrase to save a second and a half on dialogue, maybe?

• Had Skeptic give his lines about failure on the way over to the elevator instead of stalking over in silence, and then dumping the whole monologue all at once. The manga’s extended silence over three identically sized panels is much funnier and more characterful. I grow ever more confident in my assessment of Skeptic as the second-most ill-treated MLA character in this adaptation.

• The return of the Doom Choirs for the Twice Parade. I really wish the anime would lay off slathering Doom Choirs all over everything, especially a moment like this: a triumph for Twice, and, true to form for Twice, also crammed to the gills with visual and verbal gags. The Doom Choir is out of keeping with both the victory and the comedy—Mine Woman, later on, served the Parade much better.

Additions

• Gave Twice a new line, “I will protect my comrades!” It was nice to make up for his, “I won’t watch a friend die!” but the latter is more characterful, especially since a more literal translation is, “I won’t kill my friends!” Which is, you know, relevant to the fact that Twice has problems telling himself apart from things that just look like him, and he just had to intervene to stop some of those look-alikes from killing one of said friends. At least it got his use of nakama back in.[4]

• A new little cut of animation as the action went back to Geten and Dabi. I suppose the Dabi fans liked it, and it was nice to see more of Geten’s ice dragon, but I’d have much preferred they could keep the scenes we already have before adding new ones.

Chapter 231 – Path

The scene of Hawks wondering why he hasn’t heard from Dabi and his subsequent flashback to the last time they spoke were relocated to the beginning of Episode 102, the first thing the audience saw after the prior episode ended with Shouto inviting Bakugou and Deku to come intern with him at Endeavor’s. In the manga, of course, it’s not “a few weeks ago in Kyushu,” it’s “meanwhile in Osaka.” Also, the order of the scenes was flipped—the episode led with the flashback, then returned to the modern day. It really makes the timeline needlessly confusing—the viewer has no real context for what we’re seeing and when, especially since the anime neglected to specify how much time passed between the two scenes. You have to assume it was enough time for an outcry to be raised over Jeanist’s disappearance, but the random shot of a bird flying over was not at all helpful there.

Alterations included (as usual, outright removed material is in bold text):

1. Cut Hawks’ thought, “That’s why you keep calling,” and his line, “What’s the job?” I know I should give a breakdown here about Hawks’ mentality and training, but I’m afraid I don’t have it in me to complain about any lines Takami Keigo loses. God knows the anime gives him plenty enough bonus material.

2. Spliced in the flashback scene of Hawks reporting to the Commission from Chapter 243, but subtly changed it to suggest that it took place after the phonecall in which Dabi demanded Hawks kill a non-Endeavor top hero, rather than it taking place right after Hawks and Dabi’s first contact, which is what the manga implies.

3. Deleted several key shots in the Jeanist apartment scene, with the effect of making Hawks way less creepy. We got an anime-original shot of his eyes, narrow and serious, but not either of the shots of his big, off-putting grin and widened eyes as he pulls a feather-blade on Jeanist. We also lost a shot of Jeanist turning to face him, framed between extended primaries of Hawks’ Fierce Wings. It’s not like the anime dropped the fake!Dead Jeanist plot, so I’m not sure why the shift, unless it’s just that they wanted to keep Hawks likable for the merch-buying crowd, not creepy and unsettling. And while I personally never believed that Hawks really killed Jeanist, a lot of people thought it was plausible, no doubt based on how off-kilter he comes across in this scene. It loses a real frisson, to just play it straight.

• Shigaraki decaying a missile in mid-air. So Dabi can get those little animation flourishes but Tomura can’t, huh, anime? I see how it is. I. See. How. It. Is.

• Spinner’s little side comment about all the ice everywhere. A nice demonstration that Geten and Dabi’s fight really is affecting huge swathes of the city; that’s certainly apparent already in a bunch of the wide shots showing exactly that, but it’s helpful to have the more zoomed-in moments, too. Also, I do enjoy those little side quips wherever we get them, and the anime often removes them.

• Thinned out the crowd guarding the route to the tower somewhat (it’s particularly noticeable on the mid-distance rooftops) and, as best I can tell, removed Shigaraki and Spinner from the shot. Why keep all the lines harping on the 110,000 number when a) it’s not even accurate to the MLA’s forces, just the League’s assumptions, and b) the studio doesn’t even have the resources to adequately convey the numbers the manga does portray?

• Somebody in the crowd being defiant about Twice’s multiplication and vigorously declaring that the League are all just sacrifices for the MLA’s Revival Party anyway. The background nobodies? Allowed to express even bog-standard over-confidence? Well I never. How dare those people think their lives count enough for them to get dialogue.

• Spinner’s, “This keeps happening!” Of course he couldn’t have that line in the anime, since the anime cut the other big place Trumpet clearly used his power to rile up his followers. What other times were you even talking about when you said, “Every time he talks,” Anime!Spinner? That scene was the first time we even saw Trumpet since he welcomed you guys to town.

• Twice calling Re-Destro a cult leader. He just called him a damn moron (bakayarou) in the anime; he uses the considerably more specific baka kyouso (Google Translate gives “guru”; jisho gives “founder of a religious sect”). He uses the same term again immediately afterward—Viz’s translation gives, “More like chrome dome cult!”—which the anime also deleted.

So here’s another example of the anime doing everything it could to erase the presence of cults in the HeroAca world. The easy assumption to make is that this was tied to broadcast standards about the depiction of what Japan refers to as “new religious movements,” which—and pardon the brief swerve into real life historical horrors here—have been very unpopular in Japan since Aum Shinrikyo and the sarin gas attacks in 1995. But were these elements removed because the anime didn’t want to represent anything that smacks of new religious movements at all, or because the depiction of both the MLA and particularly the CRC are explicitly villainous and calling religious movements, even made-up ones, evil on TV leads to a lot of angry phone calls?

• Re-Destro’s line, “Unlike my good Miyashita, there’s nothing charming about you.” Of course they’d cut this, having cut the Miyashita scene, but I hate it anyway. As I said earlier, RD’s invocation of Miyashita in front of two people who are going to have not the slightest clue who that is tells me that Re-Destro really does miss and feel bad about killing the guy. Cutting the reminder that RD still feels that sting makes it much too easy to assume that Shigaraki’s right about RD hiding up in his tower, uncaring of the blood shed on his behalf, when if you read Re-Destro with even the slightest of attempts at good faith, it’s clear that those losses weigh very heavily on him.

Incidentally, and not to harp on the art again, but in the manga, Stress is still visibly spread down from RD’s temple to the ridge of his brow over his eye socket. The anime returned it back to its normal resting state, again suggesting that the death toll mounting in the streets below (as well as, possibly, the new stress of confronting a quirk as powerful as Double) left RD completely unmoved. The spread was back in the following shot, so it was probably just an art error, but it would be nice to have had fewer of those, especially when they impact characterization as much as what RD’s Stress blots are doing at any given time.

Framing Shifts

• Had Machia doing this weird cannonball skim just over the ground, when in the manga, he’s still half-buried, spraying earth and stone everywhere. The manga never namedrops Machia’s Mole quirk during the story itself, but it’s important to know for later that Machia can not only tear through obstacles, he can tear through obstacles extremely quickly.

Additions

• Gave Hawks a few new lines about how too many unexpected things happened for their last arrangement, and that Dabi should have given him more warning. Largely seemed to be there to give the anime an excuse to flashback to the High End fight, in case the viewers had completely forgotten about Hawks and Dabi having a clandestine meeting and sniping at each other in the aftermath of that event. An understandable addition, but deeply frustrating in the context of all the lines that got cut.

Chapter 232 – Meta Abilities and Quirks

• Dropped a third instance of Twice calling Re-Destro a cult leader. I don’t know what the S&P restriction is on this, but given that the movie was allowed to create and villainize an entire international terrorist cult, it is really incomprehensible that the MLA doesn’t get to keep their designation as such. Why?? Because the movie involves going out and defeating its cult, but the series is going to engage in a more sympathetic treatment?[5] Because the self-selecting movie crowd is less likely to complain than the TV audience? Did they just not want to draw attention to how much the movie was ripping off the MLA’s whole shtick? What??

• Missed that RD’s swole arm swipe wipes out the puppets Skeptic left behind; they just vanished from the scene entirely after Twice’s arrival. It’s hard to blame the anime for this; the manga also seems to lose track of the fact that they’re right there in between RD and the elevator—they’re nowhere to be seen anywhere between the end of Chapter 231 and the aforementioned arm swipe, where you can see them getting obliterated. Both versions could have stood to be more attentive to this; indeed, the anime could have fixed it, small error though it is.

• A sort of twitchy sparking around Shigaraki’s hand right after he decays the tower. This is foreshadowing that Shigaraki’s big AOE decay attacks are hard on his body, which will become extremely apparent after he unleashes it on the city at large during the climax, and factors into his decision to accept the mysterious power Ujiko offers. The damage Shigaraki sustains there doesn’t come out of nowhere; Horikoshi is, on the whole, extremely good at layering in foreshadowing many chapters before the foreshadowed elements come fully to light. It makes the writing look much messier than it actually is—more convenient, more pat—to delete this stuff.

• Shigaraki recognizing RD from the Detnerat commercials. Well, they ditched the Detnerat commercial, so of course they ditched this. Still, it lost one of the indicators that Shigaraki is, despite not receiving a formal education, actually quite up to speed on current events—even, apparently, when those current events are happening while he’s been fighting Machia in an isolated stretch of mountains for six weeks! I already suffer enough through fanon characterizations of Shigaraki in which he’s a basement-dwelling feral manchild glued to his gaming console whom AFO bans from accessing information about the outside world, anime! I don’t need you dropping the scenes that most clearly demonstrate otherwise!!

• In the anime, Baby!Chikara’s face was unmarked, just a normal infant face—you’d never even know the kid had a meta-ability just to look at him. In the manga, the skin of his face is clearly darker, contrasted against the paleness of his mother’s hand. It’s obvious that he’s not “normal” looking, and thus equally obviously would have attracted negative attention in his era.[6] Also had his mother smiling; her face in the manga is too shadowed and vague to make out an expression, befitting the murky tragedy of her story and the fear she must have been living with.

Framing Shifts

Additions

• A little thing: they had Twice echo, “Cushion?” when Clone!Shigaraki told him to get ready to cushion Giran’s fall. If anything, Re-Destro and his little thought-bubbled question mark is probably the one who should have had this reaction line.

• Added a visual for Clone-araki catching himself on the window. A perfectly reasonable way to fill screen time while a dialogue beat was ongoing.

• Added a panning still over a reaction shot from a bunch of Twice clones when the tower came down. It had a few good faces in it.

---

So, generally, this episode was better. I definitely still had issues with it, but compared to what came before, when they were trying to cram 5+ chapters into the episodes, there were far fewer cuts, and what cuts and tweaks there were, were relatively minor. Definitely nothing that made me want to throw chairs Jerry Springer-style the way 108 and 109 did.

Sadly, I can't say the same for the remaining two episodes. Come back next time for Part Four, Episode 111: Shimura Tenko, Origin.

FOOTNOTES

[1] After witnessing the massacre that was Episode 108, I was convinced they were going to cut the policeman scene entirely, and just go right to Jin getting fired for hitting someone with his bike, letting the audience think it was his fault completely rather than cast aspersions on police and the justness of the law. I was pleased they kept it at all, but less pleased with the steps taken to soften the sharpness of its accusation.

[2] Of course, it’s not like the MLA themselves don’t understand the willingness to give everything for the people who matter. They just label those feelings Devotion To The Cause, and don’t think the League is capable of such resolution.

[3] Netflix’s Way of the House Husband, be told.

[4] Nakama is, of course, a shonen standby, but, to the best of my knowledge (which is admittedly limited; I don’t follow a lot of shounen series), it’s pretty rare to hear the word coming out of a villain’s mouth! Jin calling the League his nakama ties into how the League are both sympathetic villains in the larger story and also the protagonists of the current arc, thereby operating under a lot of protag tropes for the duration—foreshadowed by Spinner’s earlier talk of Shigaraki and his boyish, dream-chasing eyes.

[5] Sometime after the mass arrests, one hopes.

[6] This could well be a coloring error in the manga, but if so, you’d think they’d have corrected it for the volume release. Especially given that, again, the color is in a different shade/screentone than the shadow that covers most of his mother’s face, and her hand stroking Chikara’s chin isn’t shadowed at all.

#my villain academia #bnha #bnha meta #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #my writing #stillness has salt

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captainsimagines · 3 years

Text

To Topple A Giant || Chapter Two

Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader

Part 2 of 10 ~ Mini-Series

Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. All trigger warnings will be listed before the chapter. This is purely fanfiction.

Warnings in this chapter: brief reference/hint to past sexual assault.

Word Count: 7,500+

A/N: Thank you so much for your excitement about this series! I always smile when I read your comments. Sorry for such a long chapter, but it’s only ten parts and I gotta fit all somewhere lol

Unknown Location, 2015, 10:46pm

The tightness of the rope wrapped around your wrists was excruciating, each movement causing it to rub against the already damaged skin, leaving more angry, red marks. You whipped your head back and forth, anger and fear coursing through your veins as you stared your father down. You watched as he carefully maneuvered his way around the room, every back straightening as he walked past them, every gun cocked and pointed right at you. Your nose twitched up as he walked closer, inspecting the ropes tying your feet to the chair and so on. You accumulated all the spit you could and aimed it for his face, pride washing over you as it hit him perfectly. But as quickly as that pride built, it shattered, a stinging sensation on your cheek now overpowering any other sense.

“You cost me ten million.”

You bit back a laugh, careful not to let it slip as you did not want another beating. “I did what I had to do. You would have done the same!”

“Don’t tell me what I would have done!”

You flinched inwardly, your face still blushing with growing madness. If only you could loosen these bonds…

“You will know to not mess up again.”

And as your father left the room, the men lined up against the wall finally let their shoulders fall forward, their once blank faces now donning sadistic smiles.

The Compound, 2018, 2:07am

You sat up from your mound of pillows, kicking them to the side as well as the heavy blanket. Your ears rang impossibly loud, and it wasn’t until your feet touched your bedroom floor that you could hear yourself screaming. Your body was drenched in sweat, sliding easily on your wood floor as you kicked to escape the blanket.

Sharp knocks against your door startled you, sudden ‘please, don’t!’’s escaping your mouth. Hyperventilating was always tiring, you thought, and the air was now super cold as you sucked it into your lungs.

“Doll, please? I’m coming in.”

The light from the hallway blinded you so you lifted your arm up as a temporary shield.

“No, no! I’m good… I didn’t lose it. Please, trust me!”

“Y/N…”

You lowered your arm and stared at your nighttime intruder, instincts kicking in upon settling your teary eyes on him and causing you to groan in displeasure.

“Don’t look at me.”

“Y/N.”

“I said don’t look at me.”

Steve sighed in defeat and walked back to your door. You thought he was going to simply leave you be, letting you ride out this panic attack alone like all the others. But he shut the door and made his way over to your couch on the other side of the room, plopping himself down and leaning his sleepy head in his right hand. It had been six months since the world literally fell apart, an unknown feeling of terror that simply sat at the pit of stomachs eating away at whatever sanity its host still had, plaguing the world. Tiredness was second nature, never actually reducing its power no matter how much sleep one got. But leaving you here to suffer each individual thread being pulled from your remaining sanity, alone, wasn’t an option.

“Why are you staying?”

“I have nightmares, too. You aren’t that special.”

You rolled your eyes, hands now massaging your aching chest. “It wasn’t anything.”

“Y/N, you were screaming for help.”

“I scream for a lot of things.”

You figured Steve would succumb to his growing annoyance, but he stayed patient.

“Was it about…?”

You sighed and pulled yourself up to your feet, knees wobbly and thighs alerting you of the droplets of sweat that beaded down your legs. “No. I don’t dream about the snap.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You let out a rather angry sigh. You were now rubbing your eyes, cleaning them of the accumulation of hard mucus. “I seriously don’t want to talk about this particular incident.”

Steve huffed through his nose and you were ready to pounce on him to tear that beard from his face, but stopped when you saw his small smile and genuine empathy in his eyes. “Okay, I won’t push you.”

You just stared at him, eyes wide and confused. But you nodded slowly, eyes now diverting to the blanket below you.

“I’m just so fucking happy the snap took my father.”

Steve’s lifted his head quickly by your abrupt confession, eyebrows furrowed and lips frozen, as if wrapped around a lost word he couldn’t verbally address. He understood, but it shocked him nonetheless.

He ignored it, or at least chose to avoid an immediate discussion about it, and stood from your couch.

“Are you going to be okay?”

You wanted to throw him out. Him being across the room and near the wall was starting to trigger more flashbacks.

It’s Steve. It’s just Steve.

“Can you stay?”

Steve stumbled slightly in his step, clearly uncomfortable with your request. But he was a good man and when one of his teammates needed help, he would do whatever he could. And you were one of the only teammates he had left.

“Okay,” he said. But as he made his way back to the couch and away from you, sudden racks of itchiness stretched from your wrists to the middle of your chest. You stumbled from the bed, arms extended outward as if you were still shielding yourself from some incoming attack.

“No, no! Just…”

Steve watched your movements carefully, trying to discern between fear or awkwardness. He sighed and let you see his hands, turning them over in the air.

“It’s me. Tell me where you want me.”

You were in control. Just tell him where you want him.

“I’ll lay here,” you started, getting back into the right side of the bed and pulling the covers up to your hips. “You there, but upside down.”

Steve chuckled and followed your commands. You watched him walk, feeling the dip of your mattress as his heavy body lay down. You were grateful when his sock-covered feet touched your left side pillow, his chuckles gaining volume as he tried to get comfortable.

“Do I at least get a blanket?”

“Oh!” you leapt from the bed and to the closet. He listened to your soft pitter-patter as you shuffled across the cold floor, shutting his eyes to relish in the childish melody. You passed Steve two heavy blankets, mindful of the cold weather outside. Then you climbed back into bed, passing Steve a few pillows, and snuggling back into your own.

A few shifts of the blankets made you open your eyes again. Steve was not as stiff as you expected him to be - almost like he wanted to help you - and you mentally slapped yourself remembering that he would do this for Bucky.

“Steve?”

“Hmm?”

You took solace in the fact that he couldn’t see the tiny grin on your face. “Thank you.”

Steve smiled up at the ceiling, thankful that he could still help others even when he himself was falling apart. “You’re welcome.”

Present Day, 2025, 9:45am

If anyone were to truly study Steve, they would see he was starting to act his age. He enjoyed fluffy socks, tea instead of coffee, sketching in the secluded garden of the new compound - anything a man pushing a hundred would truly enjoy. And he found himself shaving less, watching every new movie released regardless of genre, and eating much more oatmeal than usual. He remembers how whenever Bucky had saved up just enough for them to splurge on items they never usually indulged in, oatmeal would always be his go to. It was still a common ‘peasant’ meal for the two young bachelors, but Bucky would heat it up with fresh milk he had bought that morning, added the fresh strawberries and dates that were in season, and sprinkled brown sugar - damn, Steve loved brown sugar - on top. Bucky would place the bowl in front of Steve, ignoring Steve’s constant blabbering about ‘Buck, we can’t afford this’, or ‘you don’t need to spend your hard-earned money on me, you jerk’. But he would quickly shut up once Bucky’s perfected oatmeal recipe landed on his eager tongue and filled his happy stomach. Regardless of those past memories of young roommates searching for loose change in their couch and more recent ones of two reunited best friends sharing looks of awe whenever they saw how much milk and brown sugar now costs, Steve was certain the old man in him was just barely emerging.

He definitely didn’t skip the irritated attitude phase every old man seemed to develop as the years passed, his resting facial expressions and movements starting to match those of his best friend. Grumpy, tired all the time regardless of the serum, and asking each other instead of the modern people around them how to work their phones. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed, or go on a jog, or watch a movie - anything - rather than having to give a briefing about something he hadn’t had to think about for seven years. And although he had the chance to use the stones before and didn’t, Steve couldn’t quite help wishing that he was transported back to his and Bucky’s old and crumbling apartment, fighting over that one knitted blanket Bucky had bought for the both of them with his last dime.

You seemed happier with your whole family situation after the snap, but he never wanted to ask. Whether you were putting on a brave face for him, he was rid of it momentarily only to be pushed into the chaos all over again. But this time was different because you were finally going to end it all. Finish what you had started all those years ago - then maybe Steve could take that afternoon nap he wanted.

“Talk to me. How are we doing this?”

Fury pulled up a screen with all the photos and biographies, essentially a powerpoint prepared by both you and Steve.

“I’ll do whatever you ask of me, sir. But I know my family and their schemes better than anyone,” you said. Fury knew this was true and the plan would ultimately be mapped out by you. His input was always welcome, but you knew the small details - their personalities, their weaknesses, their strengths, even the way they took their coffee. You even knew which of them sampled their product before sending it off on a cross-country road trip.

Steve stood beside the monitor, using this finger to change the screen. “So, we’re looking for our physical proof. A paper trail detailing land and their product, contacts, storage units, aliases - the works.”

You nodded at Fury and your teammates. “Exactly. The hardest things to obtain will most definitely be evidence about my father’s involvement. Proof he gave the orders and profited from them.”

“Your word isn’t enough?” Sam asked.

“No, not unless I throw myself under the bus as well. It’s his word against mine unless I can prove these things were all his doing,” you responded, taking a sip from your water.

The only other people in the briefing room besides Steve and Fury were Sam, Bucky and Scott. Everyone else would get a brief overview later on this week, but these three were specifically chosen by Fury to help aid you in the actual physical fight.

“The wedding is the perfect distraction,” Scott spoke. “Almost like this was made for a heist.”

Steve released a heavy sigh, his patience already wearing thin. “Not a heist.”

“Close enough,” Scott shrugged, gaining a grin from you across the table. He smiled at your reaction and sent you a wink.

“Agent, we have to go over the basics and any new information you can provide,” Fury encouraged.

You motioned toward Steve to bring up the photos on the monitor, “Let’s start with the basics.”

Steve took over for the first portion of your presentation. You didn’t mind - in fact, the more control he had in this would certainly help ease his mind and you definitely did not want a stressed out Steve Rogers accompanying you on a twelve hour road trip.

“Ernesto Vega, father of Y/N Y/L/N, born 1950 in Guadalajara, Mexico, but because of the snap, the 80 year old is still only 75.”

“Damn, your father is old!”

You laughed at Sam’s outburst, “Yup, and I got like ten half-siblings.”

Sam sat up straighter, “No way?”

“Way.”

“Daniel Seda,” Steve continued, his voice louder. “Vega’s second in command, born 1970, currently 55 years old. Took over as top commander after the snap, and according to Y/N he didn’t take it well when everyone was brought back.”

“Hmm, threatened to put another bullet in me,” you teased, pointing at your stomach where the scar underneath your shirt had already long healed. You could have sworn you heard Steve’s breath hitch, but even if it did, he had quickly covered it by swiping the monitor.

“But her father saw this as proof of loyalty. Because no matter how much he knows Y/N hates him, she still brought him back.”

You lifted your shoulders, arms in the air as if imitating the nonverbal form of ‘oh, well!’, and your thin smile caused your cheeks to pop out comically.

“So, Seda hates you?” Bucky asked, chuckles still vibrating in his chest from your previous childish movements.

You brushed your hand through the air, “Not the first man to hate me and not the last.”

Steve snickered. You could say that again.

“The wedding will be held at Vega’s personal and private ten-acre ranch in Northern California-”

“A lovely fall wedding!”

Steve bit his tongue, eyes never leaving the monitor. “Sure… and it’s perfect. He’s wanted and he’s going to be on U.S soil.”

You stood from your chair and grabbed the electronic marker from the desk. You circled the main points of entry plus the directions of secret exits hoping to emphasize the ‘private’ part of Steve’s statement. “And since it’s his most private getaway and no one would suspect he would hide important shit on said U.S soil, I’m about ninety-eight percent sure our proof is there.”

You pulled up the blueprints and marked a giant ‘X’ on the farthest corner room in the west end. It was your father’s office.

“Ninety-eight?” Sam asked, reviewing the printed blueprints himself.

You twirled the marker between your fingers, “My dad is clever. My other two percent is telling me there’s no evidence at all.”

Scott clutched his chest in relief, “Okay, at least one outweighs the other.”

You shared another laugh with the ‘regular-sized man’.

Steve continued listing the basics, all while Fury sat toward the edge of the long table reviewing the screen. “The other two big names in the drug game are Omar Ramirez and Marcus White. Ramirez runs most things from Mexico City to San Antonio, Texas and he’s probably the least evil of them all. White runs Europe, specifically Germany and England.”

You interjected, “Ramirez focuses on the product. He orders his men to focus on the business instead of the outside world - meaning, no unnecessary kills, no violence toward women and children, no killing cops or citizens. Just producing and transporting.”

Almost forgetting he was there, Fury’s voice somewhat startled you. “Vega has lost men to Ramirez, men who wanted a change in scenery.”

You nodded in confirmation, “They aren’t necessarily enemies but they’re no besties either.”

Sam rolled the blueprints back up and handed them to Bucky. “So, we’re taking them all down?”

“The big three. Plus Seda,” Steve declared, finally taking his first sip of water in what felt like forever. If he didn’t want anyone to know he was nervous about this mission, he was for sure failing.

You hummed, “Vega and Seda are also the only ones who know of Steve’s involvement.”

“How’d that happen?” Bucky asked.

“Because Steve only ‘transports’ my father’s product. Not the others. Steve’s role is essentially to green light the passages and is my main pull,” you clarified.

It was true - Steve didn’t do or touch anything. And you thought this best considering he was America’s golden boy - you couldn’t possibly bear real involvement from him. This wasn’t his world and never should have been but it was yours.

You dealt with people directly. You took out the snitches. You handled the product during inspections. You did it all - and not because you thought Steve was some fragile soul who couldn’t achieve the same results - but because you brought him into that mess during a time in his life when he definitely didn’t need it.

“But how did it happen?”

You shrugged, hoping your answer would suffice for the rest of the group as it never does for Steve. “When I first started out as a field agent, my father didn’t trust I was doing it for him. The more I promoted, the more suspicious he got. It wasn’t until we exposed SHIELD as half-HYDRA that he was done with me.”

Fury interjected once again, “So, Y/L/N here had to pull rank out of her ass.”

You snorted, “Thanks, Fury. That sounded nice.”

“I told them that I had the literal symbol of America by my side. That defeating HYDRA was only to get his friend back, not to save the world. Plus, I told them that HYDRA was targeting all of them. And once I could get proof - a forged recording made by Fury before he went into hiding - well, it was like the greatest example of submission.”

“Why didn’t you say Tony?”

That certainly was a question Steve always had and wanted answered. God, he really hoped you had said Tony.

“Because I got the literal symbol of America as a partner-in-crime. My father almost told me he loved me... almost.”

You sat back down in your chair, a tiny puff of air escaping your lips. “And that made Seda furious. I may hate my father, but Seda is the main threat to blowing this whole operation.”

If anything, you wanted your father deader than dirt, silenced by the one child he always regretted bringing into the world. He had tortured you in more ways than you thought possible.

“Now, I thought my dad was bad.”

You fell back onto the couch before retrieving your cup of coffee you had placed on the table. Nebula gave you a tiny chuckle in return.

“Yes, mine has eradicated half the universe. I win ‘worst father’.”

You sipped your coffee, trying and failing to block out the banter between Rocket and Tony as they discussed the location of the space stone. “You know, I wouldn’t have put it past him.”

Nebula chewed her dinner slowly, listening to you ramble on about anything that popped into your mind. She knew this was your coping mechanism - to just keep talking until someone shut you up. But she enjoyed it, really, because you spoke of topics that she didn’t quite understand or know about. She learned something new everyday simply by listening to you.

“I should have thanked Thanos for dusting his ass, though.”

Nebula stopped mid-chew, blank expression but the hint of a twitch in her lip visible.

“I’m joking.”

You had asked her once why Thanos had spared her and Tony when he snapped his fingers. But Nebula had no rational answer, only responding that he must have spared her out of last minute pity and Tony to live through the consequences. And the tiny voice inside your head knocked again, reminding you that ‘maybe this snap was overall a good thing - your father can’t hurt you anymore!’, but you shut it up as quickly as it came.

“So, how many planets are there in the universe, really?”

Fury began piling files in one folder, making sure to hand out the sheet with names and contact numbers of agents stationed close to the venue and your chosen hotel.

“We’ll get into mission specifics at a later date once Rogers and Y/L/N are settled and scope out the place. For now, study up on your targets and perfect your acting skills.”

You assumed you would only need one big suitcase for the trip, only packing essentials and extra shirts just in case. You rolled your clothes tightly, securing your signature perfume and some jewelry inside some sweaters. You hid identifiable items in the small compartments - your passport, journal, old SHIELD tag, driver’s license, etc. It was the paranoid side of you taking over, the possibility of having your cover blown likely and frightening. The amount of times you had ventured into the general vicinity of your father and his crew always proved safer than you expected. But there could always be that day he simply didn’t want you around anymore.

So, you prepared in the smallest and even cringiest ways possible - resorting to drafting letters for those you wanted to remember you after you had been taken out. You paused your packing to grab your spare journal. You spent a good hour writing. A letter to Wanda, to Bucky, to Peter, to Rhodey, to Sam. Some were shorter than others - others extending to over two pages. But your mind was racing with things you hoped they would never have to read, scattered thoughts and only hints of identifiable wit penned on paper.

You tucked the letters behind the fabric you had recently ripped open. You planned on duct-taping the rip, your eyes drifting back over to your journal. You tapped your foot rapidly for a few seconds, fingers twisting in anticipation, mind still clear enough to draft one more. You quickly picked the pen right back up, sitting on the edge of your bed and starting the letter you might regret later. But at that moment, with the horrible prospect of dying on this mission, you wrote.

‘Steve,

Believe when I say that I was so sure I would put a bullet in my father before he could. Whoops…’

You wrote and wrote until your handwriting grew sloppy at the edge of the paper, and signed it. You tucked the final letter into the hole and taped it shut. You really hoped you would be able to survive and burn those written words later.

A soft knock sounded from across the room and your bedroom door opened to reveal Steve, light blue dress shirt tucked into his jeans like the old man he truly was. You couldn’t help but grin at that, cursing your involuntary actions for this man.

“Hey.”

“You doing okay?” you asked, continuing to fold clothing into your suitcase. He leaned against your door, hesitant. Steve often wondered why and how he could go days, weeks - one time even a whole month - without speaking to or seeing you. He was an expert at one word answers by now, opting to always have someone else around whenever he seriously had to carry a conversation with you. But what struck him the most was that you didn’t seem to care anymore. He witnessed the change - hell, he was the one that caused it - but it was a change that he both wanted and didn’t. How was it so easy for you?

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” he responded and walked over to your couch to sit.

You cleared your throat, hoping to make this conversation the least awkward you could. “Because this was literally sprung on both of us after almost ten years of waiting.”

“I’m okay.”

You accepted his answer. He looked comfortable enough, shoulders relaxed and genuinely interested. There was a part of you that wanted to rush over and shake him, yell at him for being so clueless and fake at the same time. There was no possible way he was fully okay with everything - he hadn’t been himself since the snap, and when Natasha and Tony died, he was someone else entirely. You had brought it up with Bucky several times, but he assured you that Steve was just dealing with things his own way. That he was still a man out of time, they both were, and battle after battle could take its toll. And Bucky would hype their therapist up, that they were the reason he and Steve are able to walk in public without that constant voice warning of danger in the back of their heads, and that you should schedule a visit sometime. You always declined, asking him to call you if he truly needed another person to talk to. He would smile, taking you up on your offer whenever a day was particularly triggering.

“I’ve been waiting for this day since I was sixteen. Ten years really just flew by… considering.”

Steve nodded, “Is there anything I should know?”

You hummed, “If you mean things about my family, then I’ll just tell you on the way there or at the hotel.”

He chuckled and stood to lean against your bedpost. “No, I mean like, what should I pack just in case?”

You rolled your eyes and laughed at such an innocent question, “Um, comfy socks. It’s pretty cold in California in the winter. Gas money, it’s pretty fucking expensive, too.”

He smiled, “Good to know.”

The two of you packed in silence for several minutes. Steve helped you roll your clothes and gather your toiletries, even asking you if you wanted to bring your current toothbrush or the new one in your bottom drawer.

You knew you shouldn’t have spoken about the topic burning in your throat, but you felt like you had to say something. If you mentioned it during the mission, you risked a larger argument than the one you would get now. So you formulated your next sentence carefully, already bracing for impact as it slipped.

“Look, the elephant in the room should be addressed. Once my father’s dealt with, I have no reason to stay here.”

Steve clipped the belt over the top of your clothes, securing the items tightly. He seemed disoriented, your sudden proclamation startling him. “What do you mean? You did the work, you trained, you helped us literally save the world.”

You shrugged and kept your voice light, “Yeah, but I started this gig when I was sixteen. I didn’t join the Avengers until I was freshly in my twenties. I’ve literally known nothing else but fighting.”

Steve sat at the edge of your bed, furrowed eyebrows and all as he chose his next words. He felt both angry and sad, a mixture of feelings that he never quite grew accustomed to whenever he was around you. They ate away at him slowly, creeping into his brain to wrap around his common sense, his sense of self, the man he was before the snap.

“Are you saying you just need a break?”

“I think,” you shrugged, zipping the suitcase and tugging its weight off your bed and onto the floor.

“What about Wanda and Bucky?”

You scrunched your face in amused confusion, a playful smile resting on your lips, “I’m not falling off the face of the Earth, Steve. I’ll visit or something.”

“Or something.”

He stood and walked back to your couch, restless and even more stressed than he was before he entered your room.

“Steve, we lost so much. It’s been two years since we brought everyone back, but… it took its toll.”

He snapped his head up, “You don’t need to tell me about shit taking its toll.”

You felt like you stared at him for several minutes, anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach and traveling up your throat. That familiar lump constricting your airway as you forced yourself to swallow it and the forming tears. And once again, your mouth spoke before your mind could approve.

“Why didn’t you use the stones for yourself?”

Steve sat, shocked into silence temporarily. “What?”

“When you and Carol put the stones back - why didn’t you stay somewhere you really wanted to be?”

You remember watching him step onto the platform holding the briefcase of infinity stones and holding Mjollnir, - because of fucking course he could wield Mjollnir, he was a good man even if you were on his bad side - simply minding his own business and waiting for Carol to join him. You remember thinking he would return with a different story, only after he got some of that life Tony had always encouraged him to find, that he would go back to Peggy and live the life he always wanted. But as quickly as they disappeared into thousands of timelines did they reappear, Carol joyful and content while Steve trailed behind her. Your heart had pounded erratically, Bucky looking at you with wide eyes because yes, I thought he would do exactly what you were thinking, too.

“None of your business.”

“I’m not trying to pry-” you reasoned, but Steve stepped toward you with flushed cheeks and a cracked voice.

“But all you do is pry, pry, pry. God, do you ever just shut up?”

All you could hear behind the ringing of your ears were Steve’s quick breaths, slowing as each second passed and he realized what he had said. A moment of weakness, in his opinion, but still uncalled for.

“Pack some snacks for the road and get out of my room.”

Steve straightened his back, eyes practically yelling for you to look at him again, pleading for you to see the remorse swimming in them. But you just tugged your suitcase to the corner of your room, ignoring him completely. “Gladly.”

You and Steve were mature enough to keep your arguments at least a hundred miles away from any mission you were conducting or when around your friends. A quick quarrel in the morning was basically nonexistent a few hours later when the whole group suggested a board game or movie night. Although this impromptu road trip would be the slightest bit awkward, you two were smart enough to not compromise the mission.

And you had to drive as flying and airport security was too risky, especially with the amount of weapons attached to your body and in the trunk of that rented car.

“Call us when you hit the first checkpoint. After that, we’ll be monitoring your hotel check-in and any new ones, police reports filed throughout that week, anything that directly involves your stay,” Bucky said, handing you a burner phone.

You stepped forward to hug him. “Thank you, Bucky.”

He gave you a tight squeeze, releasing you slightly to whisper in your ear. “Try not to kill him for the next twelve hours, will ya?”

You pulled away and gave him your best grin, bumping your bracelet with his. “You know I can’t promise that, Bucky.”

He rolled his eyes, “You kill him, I kill you.”

“Ugh, don’t tease me.” Bucky almost burst out laughing from the fake, pornographic moan you let out because of his threat.

“No, but seriously - just… lay low, trust each other, and we’ll be there in the next few days.”

You slid the burner into your sweater pocket and patted it, checking if it was secure. You waved goodbye to Bucky and pulled the passenger door open. You blew him a kiss, red lipstick now on your fingers. “Can’t wait to see you!”

Bucky stood with his hands shoved into his pockets, an embarrassed but happy smile on his face. He caught the floating kiss mid-air. “Already miss you!”

“Stop, I’m blushing!” you teased, your left hand resting palm up on your forehead in an exaggerated manner.

“Go!”

You obliged, falling into the passenger seat and clicking your seatbelt.

Twenty minutes into the drive and Steve finally decided to speak.

“So, you and Bucky?”

You giggled, thumbs currently flying over your phone screen as you tried to beat your high score in some awful video game you discovered last week. “Yup, I got him wrapped around my finger.”

Steve’s hand fidgeted on the steering wheel, “Seriously?”

You closed out your video game, “No, Steve. It’s mindless flirting. He’s one of my best friends.”

“Ahh…” he nodded in understanding, a lazy smile resting on his face. He focused on both the road and you, your head leaning against the foggy window. “About earlier-”

“Don’t mention it,” you interrupted. The second you peaked through your heavy eyelids did you lock eyes with Steve, regret visible in them.

He continued, “I blew up at you and you didn’t deserve it.”

“Cool, you’re forgiven.”

“Y/N-”

You groaned quietly, but you weren’t getting angry. You were just tired from the day already and having to sit for twelve hours straight wasn’t going to help. So, you took the high road. “Look, it’s a twelve hour drive until our first stop. Let’s forget about it or else I promise you, I will jump out of this car when you push eighty.”

Steve couldn’t help the laugh that rumbled in his chest due to your absurd promise, but he accepted your answer.

“...Okay.”

By hour two, there was a restlessness between the both of you. No matter how much you extended your leg, the cramping wouldn’t go away. No matter how many times Steve would twist his neck to the side to get it to crack, it would just tighten again. So, against protocol but still on your best behavior, you and Steve made a couple stops along the way.

The first was a burger joint in the middle of buttfuck Ohio, you had commented, earning a choking sound from Steve as he tried to contain his laughter. It was a hole in the wall type of place, perfect for lying low and out of sight, and you had enjoyed your meal in the car. You listened to Steve’s playlist on low volume, stealing each other’s fries to simply piss the other off, and hit the road after your meal.

The second stop was around hour eight, and the sun was already starting to set. You desperately needed to use the bathroom and once you saw a tiny town that ‘looks so much like the town in Gilmore Girls!’, Steve pulled over and parked in a diner parking lot. Donning caps and ordering a coffee and a tea to go to seem less suspicious, you hurried from the diner and back to your car. You stopped dead in your tracks, eyeing a gazebo with a black miniature fence around it. You begged Steve to snap a photo, promising that this would be the only favor you ask of him for the next few hours, and went to hitch one leg over the metal fence. You settled yourself on top, hands gripping the railing and trying not to fall. You started to laugh uncontrollably as the fence started hurting your bottom, begging Steve to snap the photo quicker.

‘Take the damn picture, you big oaf!’

‘Well, then hold still!’

‘It’s hurting my ass!’

‘Smile!’

The third stop was the final one, somewhere in Iowa and deep in the forest. You complained about how Fury warned you of motels, that you would have to seek shelter elsewhere to avoid being recognized. You could easily blend in, but the mountain of muscle beside you would blow your cover. And you wanted to arrive in California undetected by the media.

Steve drove the car into a dark and secluded part of the forest, ground that seemed used by campers often and had an emergency phone and landline nearby. It was secret enough, so you parked the car and retrieved the blankets from the trunk.

“You taking the back?” Steve asked, jumping back into the car and rubbing his hands together because of the chilly weather. His face was flushed from just a few seconds out in the cool breeze, nose frozen and the tip red. He looked younger, you thought, somewhat resembling those renditions of Greeks in renaissance art.

“You’ve been driving all day. You should stretch your legs,” you answered, already wrapping the blanket up to your shoulders and securing it around your neck.

“You sure? We can alternate.”

You smiled, already feeling the effects of the warmth on your tired body, “I’m sure, Steve. Get some rest and I’ll drive in the morning.”

Steve exited the car after turning it off - sucks that you had to save the gas - and hopped into the backseat. He kicked off his shoes and lay across the connected seat, facing you. He could see the outline of your nose as you tilted your head slightly to the side, the blanket wrapped around your neck and hiding the real length of your hair. It resembled a bob cut by how half of it was hidden, and Steve thought that hairstyle would suit you.

Your personal phone rang, cutting through the comfortable silence and startling the both of you. You fumbled it in your hand and looked back at Steve, face falling as you showed him the name.

Seda.

“Answer it on the third ring.”

You did as Steve told you, answering the phone on the third ring and preparing your voice. He scrambled for the tape recorder, pressing ‘play’ as soon as he could.

“You rarely call me. To what do I owe the pleasure?” you answered.

His voice sounded hoarse over the phone, almost like he had just finished smoking a pack of cigarettes. “Are you attending?”

“My dear sister is getting married, Seda. Of course I’m going to embarrass her.”

He paused for a few moments, sounding like he was directing the people around him to finish something. But he responded to your answer in a serious tone. “I hope you’re being your usual sarcastic self and aren’t serious.”

You rolled your eyes and pointed at the phone, and Steve’s lips spread into a smile. “You’ve known me long enough to know, I hope.”

“Sadly.”

“I’m hurt,” you joked, voice still light and cheerful. Seda paused on the line again, the sound of papers rustling letting you know the line was still active.

“I need to know if the Captain is attending too.”

“He was invited,” you responded, laughing a little at the fact that Seda hadn’t known this information you were sure the rest of your family knew.

He chuckled, a slight whistle sound letting you know he was smoking another cigarette. “Mm, guess your family is finally meeting your lover, huh?”

The air in your mouth didn’t make it down to your lungs and you looked at Steve with equally wide eyes. But you didn’t stay fazed for long, responding to such an accusation with ease. “My lover, yes. I’m so damn giddy about that.”

Seda hummed in satisfaction, “Your father always told you to not get involved with the product. Scrambles your brains from thinking straight. But he applauds you on this one.”

You put a finger in your mouth and mimicked gagging, causing Steve to cover his mouth to muffle his laugh. “I’ve never mentioned the Captain as my lover before. Why is my father always right?”

You knew exactly what to say. The more backhanded praise you gave your father only fed into the truth and lies everyone knew - truth being you hated your father because of his power and the lie being that you were just as power hungry as him. As long everyone assumed you wanted this power, the more you had to act like you hated your father’s.

“He knows more than he lets on. You know that.”

“I know a lot of things.”

Seda continued, “No friends allowed, anyway. So, if the Captain isn’t your lover then… we may have problems. Is there a problem?”

You kept your voice at a steady volume, “I said I was with him, didn’t I? Have you seen the man?”

“Seen him, heard him speak. So righteous and dull. Not really your type.” Seda was growing impatient with the conversation, clearly angry that he hadn’t caught a slip or lie from you.

You scrunched your face in disgust, “Ew, don’t think you know my type.”

“Buck, ‘my type’ is back home with a warm chicken noodle soup in my lap and a couple of loose papers at my disposal,” Steve whined, trying to keep the same pace as his overly enthusiastic friend as he hurried down the sidewalk.

“She’s such a knockout, Steve! I’m sure she’ll love you.”

Steve couldn’t help but blush at Bucky’s kind words, the hype always repairing some parts of Steve’s broken self-esteem and reminding him of his worth. But it was his third date this month and rejection was starting to seem like his favorite sport. No matter what he did - offering a girl some peanuts, accidentally stepping on her (once!) feet while dancing, or simply not living up to Bucky’s gracious advertising - women just weren’t interested.

“You know that’s not true, Buck. Can’t we just have a quiet night in?”

Bucky stopped and guided them into the nearby alley, both to knock some sense into his friend and to give Steve a break from the tiny jog.

“Listen here, Steve. Any girl would be lucky to be with you-”

“Buck, we’ve been through this-”

“Let me finish,” Bucky shushed him, hands on Steve’s shoulders to steady both him and himself. “Any girl would be lucky to be with you. If this one doesn’t see you how I see you, then she’s just insane.”

Steve smirked, “Don’t insult the girl before I’ve even met her, jerk.”

Bucky smiled, his high cheeks pushing up to create crinkles by his eyes. “Trust me, pal. You just need to find a woman with as big of a mouth as you.”

Steve swatted his friend across his chest, laughs rumbling in both their chests and down the once quiet alleyway.

“What hotel are you staying at?” Seda quickly asked, ignoring your quip. You were done with this conversation as it was leading nowhere.

“Staying at one where no one can hear the Captain scramble my brains. Goodbye,” you replied, an annoyance in your tone that even Seda would believe as natural.

“See you soon.”

You let Seda end the call, a little power play you allowed him to have. God, it was gonna feel good to take him down.

Steve shifted in his seat, stopping the recorder in time for his question. He cleared his throat awkwardly, “Why did your dad assume we were a couple?”

You gave him a tiny chuckle, pulling the blanket back over your shoulders and settling back into your seat. “I don’t know why that man says anything anymore. I guess they just expected it.”

“Why?”

No matter how many years passed, both awake or frozen, Steve never did quite understand the sexual appeal that lingered around his name. No matter how many times Bucky joked about it, no matter the amount of social media posts, no matter anything - he just didn’t seem to understand why people thought he was a ladies man.

You snuggled deeper into your blanket, scanning the outside woods one last time just in case. “You wouldn’t risk your reputation and status for me unless you were fucking me, I guess.”

“Crude.”

You turned your head to him and sighed, “They think I’m the whore of the family. It’s just too funny sometimes.”

Steve’s face fell, “I’m sorry about that.”

You shuffled in your blanket to pull your arm out and wave it in the air. “Used to it.”

Steve didn’t press further, deciding to lay back finally to find a cozier position. It was quiet for a few minutes, just breathing and slight motion disturbing the silence. You opened your eyes and stared at the moonlight hitting the steering wheel. By the sound of Steve’s breathing, you knew he wasn’t fully asleep yet. So you allowed yourself the smallest confession, a crack in the door Steve was figuratively standing outside of.

“My sister is his prized possession, though.”

Steve didn’t respond, but from the sound of the blanket moving you could tell he had turned to face you.

“Never knew why.”

Steve pondered your words for a long time, long after your breathing became slower and tiny snores left your mouth. He didn’t exactly know what to say or what to do. It wasn’t like you dropped top secret information on him or anything, but it made him wonder just why in the world your father hated you so much.

You had done everything asked of you. You were controlled, tortured mentally everyday, having to endure and make decisions that Steve knew you didn’t want any part of. Your father should be thanking you for keeping his business afloat, for expanding it, for roping Steve’s own name into that life. As he contemplated any rational reason for such hate, he heard your soft snore turn into an innocent purr, and he felt himself leaning more into a mutual understanding. It frightened him, gripping his reality by the throat, because Steve actually knew why. That innocence he saw with you, no doubt had presented itself to your father involuntarily and your father knew.

He knew you were good at heart.

Taglist: @dumb-ass-writer @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise

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