#/maybe that's why people like to tie it to Actual magic. something physical

[keeps-ache]

woke up with the feeling that 'something has been irreversibly changed'

[ome-magical-ramblings]

Chakras and Psychic Centers in the Western Magical Traditions.

This post was inspired by @ditchdwellersupreme in a discord server that made me think deeply and sent me down a rabbit hole about how valid is the approach in this sense. https://hareesh.org/blog/2016/2/5/the-real-story-on-the-chakras Christopher Wallis, a Sanskrit scholar and practitioner goes in depth about them but the points he talks about in that specific blog is that:

There's not just one chakra system in the original tradition, there are many.

The chakra systems are prescriptive, not descriptive.

The psychological states associated with the chakras are completely modern and Western.

The seven-chakra system popular today derives not from an ancient scripture, but from a treatise written in 1577.

The main purpose of a chakra system is to function as a template for nyāsa — installation of mantras and deities.

The seed-mantras that you think go with the chakras actually go with the elements that happen to be installed in those chakras.

I am not here to argue on the validity of the practice of 7 chakras but on the practicalities of the practice itself, how it affect western practices and methodology and if they do have a place in western magical traditions?

hmm...if you imagine that the chakras are prescriptive and that they install mantras and deities into our bodies...then what about Phylacteries and talismans. What about physical body and letters in regard to that? Chaim Vital wrote: 'Know that in each and every organ of a person's body, there are letters engraved, informing us about that individual's actions. But the primary place is the forehead, as indicated earlier.' Some people might think of Jewish practices as not Western in nature and that's valid, but the Testament of Solomon also shed light on this when it associate a body part to a demon/angel combo. a fragment of Celsus from Origen says:

… the Egyptians say that the body of man has been put under the charge of thirty six daimons, or ethereal gods of some sort, who divide it between them, that being the number of parts into which it is divided (although some say far more). Each daimon is in charge of a different part. you can find a decan master list here , the sacred book of ascelpius talks about it from an astrological point of view: Aries is the head of the world, Taurus the neck, Gemini shoulders, Cancer breast, Lion the back, shoulder blades, heart and ribs, the Virgin the belly, Libra buttocks, Scorpio the pubis, Sagittarius the thighs, Capricorn the knees, Aquarius the legs and Pisces the feet. All of these could be seen as a way of diagnosing and medical magic, but also they have their own significance in this practice. I don't say to mish-mash the systems together but maybe there's more to it than what we think is not. Arab magicians write talisman for dream and tie it to their right upper arm, why the right upper arm and not the left? phylactery like the one used in the headless one is tied on the forehead...is there something more to it? I am not saying take all the chakras willy nilly, just that there's something to it. Heart, Stomach/lower belly, and top of the head.

Clearly I am taking the side of "yeah bro use dem chakranaynays" and honestly, my own practice didn't take off until I used a specific practice that dealt with dream incubation through visualizing the planetary symbols on the medulla oblongata following the Chaldean order with each symbol lasting a week. Does that mean I encourage reckless experimenting with them? of course not, they hurt and you would hurt yourself if you push yourself too hard with them. You use them as a part of a whole system, maybe you just use pillar and spheres to energize yourself or visualize the nadi/channel during nine bottle pranayama. The usual recommendation is to follow eastern procedure and it might feel weird for some people, it's honestly better to take a step back and see your own practice. The spirits would work with/without it, but your body is still gonna respond to spirits on some physiological level. Pragmatically speaking some spirits might even be more willing and might perform Nyasa for you. If you think about it, invocation and god-forms melt togethers and the product of these come closer to something resembling a similar practice. I am not saying to dilute/innovate on your first try! that's one thing I want to emphasize. I am just saying that incorporating some simple practices can allow more avenue for the spirit to contact you. Of course I am not saying..oh install demons on your head or do something reckless like that lol. To cap it off, Think of a deity you have a connection to, ask them which part of the body they relate to and ask them to inhabit that part, see what comes out of it. What if their image was on top of your head, in your heart, or in your belly, how would feel? Again this is all to be done with the deity approval or if they see the practice fit for you. "The wrong person even with the right knowledge will come to no good end. But the right person even with the wrong (or incomplete) knowledge will make it work." Sources: JSK's Testament of St Cyprian Jacobus G. Swart's Self Creation Blog. Lastly a meme that I thought was funny about this.

[0rionz-belt]

My experience seeing the Barbie Movie.

So I woke up today at 7 am to go see the Barbie movie at 9 am. It is opening day. I looked like a cross between a teenage boy in a late 80’s blockbuster film and a hot topic coupon freak from Y2K. I arrived at 8, with the theater not opening for a half hour and the mall itself not being officially open for another 2 hours. I headed past the groups of girls clad in pinks of all shades, got my ticket scanned 15 minutes before showtime, took my seat, and waited for my food and what I was expecting to be a silly movie for kids.

Barbie movie spoilers under the cut.

I walked out of that theater a little over 2 hours later and the first words to leave my brain and enter the physical world were not “Eh.” Or “wow! That was life changing!” Or “that was horrible”.

It was “What the fuck did I just watch”. In the absolute best way possible.

I expected the plot to be simple and easy to figure out from the trailers. I expected “oh Barbie is experiencing herself becoming a normal human, so she has to go to the real world to find the cause but our world is so different and the buisnessmen are the main antagonists and she has to avoid being trapped by them the whole movie until she can fix the issue and go home! and Ken is there too I guess.” I expected cliche. It’s a fucking barbie movie, why wouldn’t it be cliche?

But then they busted out the whole “you are actually being controlled by a kid and the kid is sad and it’s fucking you up. Go help your god.” And I was like Ok. I like that, that’s a good way to tie it up. And then you had the reveal of it actually being the mom playing with the dolls which had me going like “I don’t remember seeing her a bunch in the marketing, that’s a really great twist and it makes sense.”

And then. Oh man. And then they have Ken go off on his own and it’s played off in the moment as not a big deal but then you see him learning about Patriarchy. See him react to people paying attention to him in a positive way for once. See him go back to Barbieland. And the movie switches over from being about Barbie trying to escape the CEO of Mattel and find the kid, and into a plot that takes the whole “the real world isn’t as feminist as she thinks” and takes it up to 11. All the stuff where she’s being harassed for being female already engaged the target audience by being something they experience and then it goes in FURTHER with it and you have to realize as the Mattel people get shown less and less that Ken is the real antagonist of the movie.

That part caught me off guard. I don’t see myself as a woman anymore but god damn I felt that. And it was such a well made twist where things from the trailers finally made sense! And the whole thing they did to solve it. Holy shit. But you likely already know about that, so let’s skip ahead.

Here, I’ll give you a moment to breathe. I never saw that initial teaser trailer. The opening sequence was entirely new to me and holy FUCK was I confused. “I have all the genitals” is something I’ll be quoting for a while I think, that killed me. AND MAGIC EARRING KEN??? Oh my god it was amazing. Rest in peace to the 10 little girls sitting in my row, who don’t understand half of my reactions to that movie.

Okay back to the serious shit. I cried 3 times during that movie. Maybe it was my period, maybe it was bc I hadn’t taken my meds, maybe it was just that sad. The two scenes with Ruth and that monologue about being a woman and society’s standards for women got me. Out of the 3, the last scene with Ruth and Barbie made me cry the most. that scene fucking ripped my ribcage open and tore my heart out. It spoke to me. And in all honesty I wish i remembered it better bc I was too preoccupied trying to make sure none of the tween girls in the row noticed me crying.

I went into that movie expecting to relate heavily to Ken, for personal reasons I don’t want to disclose. And by the end of it, I still found myself relating to him somewhat. But moreover, I found Barbie to be incredibly relatable. It was astonishing.

That entire movie was on crack, I spent $70 for a doll and a car afterwards.

[kpg-1126]

9, 13, and 33 for the writer asks pretty please, when you have the time 👀

Please, let me over-explain:

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

Hmm, okay:

I think some kind of spirit or essence of something that is gone seems plausible, even if it's not in a way we currently understand via "science." I say "science" in quotes because science is a process and not just a body of knowledge about natural phenomena and don't get me started on the philosophy of science because it is so interesting,  but I only know enough to be sure I'd get something wrong if I start talking about it.

Aaaaanyway, if you think of all the things that are possible technologically that would have just seemed like *magic* a hundred years ago or more, or all the things we can explain now that were once a mystery (like viral diseases, even) because we had no way to "see" them, finding out ghosts have some "scientific" explanation doesn't seem all that far-fetched. This reminds me of Lost and Wanted again, which is a novel about science and ghosts, more or less. (It doesn't answer the question of whether science can prove the existence of ghosts...but I doubt you thought it did.)

So . . . if someone tells me a house is haunted, you bet I'm on edge and peeking behind curtains and such, so clearly I haven't ruled ghosts out. Do I tell everyone I believe in ghosts? No, not really. I'm a skeptic. But skeptic doesn't mean non-believer.

Also, on an interesting note, my immediate family all *definitely* believes in ghosts and can tell you times when they've seen them / experienced them. I don't think they've made these stories up. What were they actually experiencing? No idea. Maybe ghosts.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you to write about? What is easy?

"Subject matter" is an interesting category for this question, because although I will try to answer that way, it's not generally subject matter that makes something difficult or easy for me. So I'm going to answer this two different ways, because I feel like it. Also I got another ask with this, so I may elaborate further.

Incredibly difficult - I would have a difficult time writing really gory violence or really explicit sex based on a certain level of "do I want people realizing I had *that* thought?" and also because I have a really prudish mental block, so I can't even put things on paper unless I were to *really try.* Mostly, though, words come out of my head pretty easily when I'm on a roll (whether they are the words I'm actually looking for is another matter), regardless of the actual subject matter. My mind does think of certain subjects more easily than others, but if someone were to give me a prompt and say "write about ____, go!" I could probably do it (quality would vary but that wasn't the question--or not the one I'm answering right now).

Easy - nothing is "easy," but I can write mundane dialogue about any given topic on and on forever and eventually stumble upon something funny, or at least funny to me, so that's easy-ish. I write all my dialogue first, almost as a rule, because it comes easier than physical description. That's why I just write a lot of people talking in rooms doing simple things (🤫🫣). In other words, I was intended to write multi-cam sitcom material (kinda joking).  Show me a picture and tell me to describe the scenery--that's going to be tougher. So I find internal things (thoughts, words, feelings, even bodily reactions) easier to express than external things (physical surroundings, the way other people appear, etc).

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

Short answer - no, not really.

Longer, unnecessary answer:

Writing is my art of choice.  I have an older brother who has always been a very talented visual artist (like painting, drawing, etc) from a young age, and because that was *his* thing, I mostly stayed away from it because I wasn't as good (I also wasn't particularly inclined to it - see above re: external reality), but I made writing *my* thing. I have liked writing and have pretended I'm secretly a writer since I was 6 or 7. (Basically since I could write sentences coherently--although that may still be arguable.)

I like music but I played a lot of sports growing up and opted out of playing an instrument (except I got really into playing the recorder when I was 10 until it annoyed everyone in the house. Oh, and I bought myself a guitar when I was 14 so I could be a brooding folk singer, but as it turns out I didn’t want to be one that badly and I'm not sufficiently deep or broody - I'm more "easily amused and analytical"). Hmm, other art fails - I went to dance class once when I was maybe 4 or 5 but I got upset about being corrected on my baton twirling form (was it a majorette class? who knows...) and cried and they asked me not to come back. That story was pretty specific because I remember criticism forever. 🫥 This is all to say that I would probably have done more art but I had a need to be good at everything I did all the time and art isn't like that. I'm better about failing at things now, but now I barely have time to do the writing thing (I make time because I enjoy it enough that I'm willing to get a little less sleep sometimes in order to do it).

Anyway, I just really like words--reading them,  writing them. That's my art thing.  I like other art, but I don't create it.

[tetsunormous]

Provoking the captain

pairing: dom!Kuroo x f!reader

genre: smut (18+), established relationship

word count: 2.4 k

warning: swearing, fingering, choking, daddy kink, exhibitionism (?), edging, clit spanking, degradation

You and Kuroo have been together for a few months now. It was routine for the two of you to have lunch together with the team, and you could tell how happy it made him to know you get along so well with his teammates. He gets jealous quite easily, although he completely trusts you, so it’s hard for him not to feel some type of way when you go off joking around with the rest of the boys.

You were feeling a little bratty today and before you went your separate ways after lunch, knowing fully well you didn’t give him as much attention as he’d like, you grab Kuroo’s tie and pull him close enough that your lips barely touch.

It’s clear his team was watching with wide eyes, you look up at him before softly saying, “I’ll see you in class, make sure you pay attention, yea?”

You pull away with a faint smirk resting on your lips before turning to the team, “I’ll come by practice later, see you soon!”, and with that you start walking away knowing teasing Testsu like that will definitely come back to bite your ass later.

Kuroo stood there shocked that his baby girl would act out like this infront of other people, but he was also in awe of your confidence. That all changed when he heard Yamamoto and Lev snickering about how you have their captain wrapped around your pretty little finger.

“Oi! Who knew sweet little y/n was actually in charge” Yaku says, knowing it would egg Kuroo on further.

“Get your asses to class! If any of you show up late to practice I’m making you run extra”, and with that Kuroo walks away to the sound of Kenma’s snickers in the back.

It's the last period and you both have chemistry together. Normally he’s very good at staying focused but you couldn't help but smile at the sight of him constantly fidgeting and scrunching up his nose. “Are you okay, Tetsu? You seem a little distracted today” you ask as you rest your hand on his thigh.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing right now, but you know how I feel about you getting so close to others, especially right in front of me”, he turns towards you and whispers just loud enough for you to hear, “you didn’t give me any attention at lunch, and you top it off with a tease in front on my team? You really are my naughty girl aren't you chibi-chan?”

“Is that what I did? I’m sorry Tetsu” you say before shyly smiling, “maybe you can tell me more about what I did wrong after class, okay daddy?”

At this point, you knew you were screwed but watching your boyfriend’s eyes darken never fails to get you excited.

The rest of class went by slower than you hoped but the not so secretive glances Kuroo kept making made it entertaining to say the least. You tried your hardest not to pay him any attention, but the way his leg was bouncing against yours told you what you already knew. Practice was going to be different today.

The two of you start packing up your books as the bell rings and he’s already standing behind you with his large hand caressing your side.

“You better be good and finish your homework while I’m in practice chibi-chan, I’m not sure you’ll have time to complete it later after your little games earlier” he whispers, sending shivers down your spine.

“Is that a threat, or a promise Tetsu?”

You could taste the lust in his voice, “My pretty girl, I promise I’m going to fuck some manners into you”

And with that he leads you out of the classroom and over to the volleyball gymnasium. He taps your ass as you head towards the table in the corner where you normally get your work done while he's practicing.

“Alright kitten, give me a kiss before I go change for practice”

“Hmmm I don’t know Tetsu, for someone complaining about my manners, you forgot the magic word when you asked”

“Is this how you want tonight to go? Because if you keep this up, I will drag you into that janitor closet and remind you of your place”

Right as you were about to give in and offer him a kiss, the team floods into the gym and starts shouting at the two of you.

“I think it’s time for you to go captain. Don’t worry though, I’ll be a good girl and finish my homework”

He chuckles dryly, “You better.” and heads to the locker rooms.

Practice goes as usual but you can tell he’s on edge. Everyone in the room could tell Kuroo was on top of his game today. His serves are more powerful, his spikes are breaking through all their blocks, and his read blocking was scary accurate. Every so often he would make eye contact with you and it was nearly impossible to keep yourself from squeezing your legs shut. Kuroo is an incredible player but seeing the effect your little act has on his skills was shamelessly attractive.

You’re normally pretty well behaved and it’s a given you’d finish your work so completing your homework was never something that troubled you. However, the sounds of Kuroo’s hands smacking against the balls was distracting enough to make the process longer than normal. You finish all your work just in time to his two hour practice ending.

As you start packing up your work, you feel a presence looming over you and Kuroo’s scent fills your mind. He takes your hair and sweeps it behind your shoulder before leaning close to your ear, “I asked Yaku to lock up, I’m giving you two minutes to meet me in the janitors closet. If you’re late, I’m sure the boys wouldn't mind watching me put you in your place.”

A shiver runs down your spine instantly, but you know there's no hiding the wetness leaking from just the thought of what might happen next. He begins to leave and you can physically feel your body blushing as you scramble to pack up your bag. You knew teasing Kuroo would lead to a ‘funishment’ of sorts, but you’ve never heard him speak to you in such a sadistic tone.

As you pick up your book bag and head towards the janitor’s closet, your heart feels like it wants to burst from the anticipation. It’s common for Kuroo to get a little rough when you’d have sex but perhaps acting up at school wasn’t the best choice. Especially if the team has a big game next week.

You quickly slip into the closet and you’re met with your gorgeous boyfriend wearing a shit eating smirk, “Just in time kitten, I was beginning to think you want the team to see how desperate you are for my cock. No worries, I’m sure they’ll hear you either way.”

He kisses you softly and takes your bag from you before setting it on the floor. You’re standing there playing with your fingers with your legs pressed tightly together as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Why do you look so nervous? What happened to the attitude, kitten?

“I’m not nervous!”

“No? It doesn’t make you nervous that the boys are going to do some individual practices before locking up? It doesn’t make you nervous that I plan to fuck you dumb so you know what happens when little girls try to give me an attitude, and the only thing separating us and the team is that door behind you?” He takes his hand and tilts your chin so you’re looking straight at him. He gives you a small smile, “My, you must really be a whore if it doesn’t make you nervous that anyone who’s in the gym will be able to hear just how desperate you are. We both know how loud you get”

“I know how you get when I’m bratty, for someone so smart you’d think it was easy to figure my intentions by now”

“Do you really think you’re in any position to talk to me like that?” His right hand now gripping the sides of your neck while his left hand travels under your skirt and begins to caress your thigh, “especially after admitting you acted out on purpose”

His hand is more than big enough to fully grasp your throat. You begin to feel a little lightheaded from the lack of blood flow, but that only makes you want him more. You know his left hand is snaking its way up towards your heat but you can’t help but to want to push him one step further.

“You gonna keep your promise from earlier daddy?”

Kuroo almost wants to laugh at your words, but part of him is still in awe at your boldness today. “I’m going to have so much fun with you tonight”

He slams your body against the door as the two of you begin to makeout. You moan into his mouth as he kisses you with urgency. You grant him access as his tongue swipes across your bottom lip and his left hand finds itself situated between your legs. You feel a tap against your inner thigh and you spread your legs open while your tongues move in unison. The grip on your throat tightens as his fingers begin to stroke your pussy over your little panties. He pulls away and leans in close -- kissing, nibbling, and whispering into your ear knowing how sensitive you are, “what’s got you so wet kitten? We’ve barely just begun”.

“You Tetsu” you whimper into his shoulder as his fingers start to hover over your needy clit.

“Yeah kitten? I barely touch you and you’re already soaking. Do you think you deserve to feel good after teasing me today?”

“T-tetsu, please” as you clutch onto his arms looking up at him to see his expression. However, you’re met with his piercing eyes, now a shade darker, staring intently into yours as he starts rubbing you over the thin fabric you still wear.

You continue to whimper and his speed increases but he suddenly stops and takes a step back.

“I asked you a question, didn’t I?”

“I promise I’ll be good Tetsu, please, I’m sorry for being a brat” you quickly respond with your hands reaching out to him but he just chuckles.

“Of course you’ll be good now kitten, you want me to help you get off. You want me to fill you up and remind you how good my cock feels inside you.” He walks towards you and cages you between his body and the door, “bad girls don’t get what they want, but for now all I want is to fuck you with my fingers. If you even think about trying to cover your mouth I will make sure you don’t get to cum for days. You want to act up? Daddy’s going to make sure everyone knows who you belong to, go it?”

“Y-yes yes, please fuck me with your fingers”

He roughly tugs your panties off and uses his foot to spread your legs wide open. His left hand spreads your pussy open before spanking your clit, sending a sharp pain up your body, and you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips, “That’s not my fucking name.”

“Daddy! Yes, yes daddy I got it!”

His lips attach to yours and he strokes your wet folds feeling how you shudder at his touch. You moan into the kiss and he bites your bottom lip slightly as his thumb finds its way to your clit. “So fucking wet.”

“Only for you. I’m only this wet for you daddy. Please, I want to feel your fingers”

“Yea?” His thumb continues to rub you as two fingers lightly trace over your folds teasing your hole. “Let me hear how much you want my fingers in you.”

“Please! I’m sorry for teasing you today, please just let me feel you daddy”, you whine into him trying to keep your knees from buckling. “I promise to be your good girl, I need you in me! Please daddy, please make me feel good!”

He smirks down at you before plunging two fingers in your tight little hole and your body arches back while you let out a whiney moan. “Let me hear how good my fingers feel inside you baby” His fingers begin to curl and continually hit your spot while his thumb persistently pays attention to your clit.

“F-fuck daddy, you make me feel so good”

Your arms latch onto his for balance, and your head falls back against the door. Kuroo takes the opportunity to run his tongue against the exposed curvature of your neck before planting kisses against your jaw. He sucks against the skin where your neck and ear meets before biting on your earlobe, “I want everyone out there to hear how needy you are” and inserts another finger into your dripping cunt.

“Oh my god” you breathe out, “daddy it feels so good!” you scream not caring who’s on the other side of the door. All you can think about are his fingers expertly pumping into you, hitting your g-spot every time, while his left hand spreads your pussy lips further making it easier to continually rub your clit.

He can feel how close you are by the way your walls are squeezing around his finger. By the way you’re shamelessly moaning out his name asking for permission to cum. By the way the grip you have on his arms tighten and the heavy heaving of your chest.

So he stops.

“Bad girls don’t get what they want, remember?” He sticks his fingers into his mouth and sucks all your juices off before bending down to pick up your bag. “Maybe next time, you’ll think about how badly you want to finish before you become a fucking brat. Now, let's go out there and show everyone what a needy slut you are, yea?”

“T-that’s it?”

“I’m sorry, you didn't think I was actually going to let you finish, did you?”

The blush on your cheeks only grows darker at the thought of facing his teammates. You bend down to put your panties back on before you feel his hand rubbing your ass. “When we get back to my place, I promise to leave handprints all over this pretty ass. If you behave yourself, I’ll think about letting you cum”

© tetsunormous 2021 lmk if you want to be added to my tag list

[complacencyofthelearnedofficial]

One thing I don't think i ever truly understood was how the twelve primordial genesis tie into the power of grimoir. If I am interpting the text correctly, the act of magic is that of metaphor, however self aware and weaponized. When a spell is cast its effect is simply what it is established to be, given power through the understanding of said power. While the genesis are a remarkably small part of the overall lore, they give strong implications of a creation myth never explored, as well as a physicality that seems almost in opposition to the abstract battlefield of the complacency

I guess what my question is, are the genesis purposefully vague and unanswered or should I reread the series for the 8th time to see if I completely missed something.

(My friend says they represent how Calmasis perceived the disciples, but I'm kinda eeeeeeh on that theory)

Actually you're friend isn't too far off.

While the text is presented as third person omniscient, the presentation of the characters is still heavily influenced by Calmesis at any given time. It is their story, ad everyone else is just living it. As some readers have picked up, Zazzerpan is an inversion of the classic mentor archetype. They teach Calmesis about the world not through action, but inaction. His detachment towards his protege leads directly to his downfall, as it is his stubborn refusal to impart his arcane knowledge upon his disciples for fear of eventual perfidy that then spurs Calmesis to take action into their own hands. Not only are they taking control of Zazzerpan's story, his legacy, they are merging with it, making the two inseparable for the rest of time.

Now, concerning the Primordial Genesis, I must admit that was initially nothing more than flavortext, but like so many swine rooting for truffles in the mud y dear readers simply had to know more. To answer your question, the Genesis are vague because the very nature of the gods themselves is to be unknowable. They contain multitudes, more often than not are contradiction in nature. At the risk of sounding rather pedestrian, the Christian God is often stated to be a merciful and caring one, despite the fact that He apparently has no qualms with turning people to salt or sending plagues or even killing His only son. His mercy is shown not through acts of kindness, but through inaction, chosing not to smite those that have displeased Him. Rather harsh, no?

Continuing that thread, let us recall and oft-stated mantra of His followers; God works in mysterious ways. In a similar vein, divinity follows this rule in The Learned (the book not the group). Godliness is granted to those with secrets. The Learned (the group not the book) amass knowledge over the centuries and hoard it, stroking their comically long and illustrious wizard beards and sitting on high above the feebleminded masses, wrapped in cloaks in smugness secure in the thought that they and they alone have the power to understand and thus shape the world around them. Why does this council of suck distinguished scholars wear such stupid fucking hats? That's not for us to know?

However, their status as gods is contradicted by the simple fact that we know so much about them. We know their motivations, their physical appearances, in some cases even their lineages. In stark opposition, we don't even know if the Genesis are/were people or just vague concepts assigned attributes in the way we ascribe fire the emotion of 'angry' or 'hungry.' Their influence is apparent but their conscious, their personhood, is not. They are the true gods.

Or maybe that's just how Cal sees it.

[hanazou]

hi! i see an author writes for the DOA, and i absolutely go bonkers. could you please write some HCs (or whatever's most convenient) about Nikolai and/or Sigma teaching someone how to tie their shoes? please i know it sounds so odd but i STILL don't know how to tie shoes. thank you!

𝙣𝙞𝙠𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙞 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙢𝙖 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙞𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚𝙨

Book : Nikolai | Sigma

Genre : Fluff, (implied) romance

Shelf : Leather-bound

Note : You absolutely can, dearie! I thought about making scenarios instead but I think it's more fun to make them hcs hehe 💗 i hope u enjoy! feel free to request another if u don't 👌🏻

Nikolai isn’t aware of your inability to tie shoe laces but he does notice how you always wear the type of shoes without laces since he’s secretly perceptive. He notices the variety of colours of your shoes for the day (it’s a habit of his because he pays close attention to his own clothes), things like that, and doesn’t make a big deal out of it.

Because he’s a playful fellow, jumping around here and there (quite literally), you have to be physically active to be around him, meaning you have to move (run) a lot which leads to the subject of your inability to be mentioned sooner or later.

When he thinks about it, he notices that you wear various types of shoes but never running shoes with laces, which he thinks is the best type for you to wear if you’re with him. You can’t keep wearing impractical shoes like loafers, heels, or even slippers if you want to keep up with his… terrorism antics.

“You can’t keep up with me with those shoes forever, dove!” Nikolai pulls both your hands while walking backwards so he can keep seeing your face. You tell him there aren’t any other shoes around there you can easily change into, and he offers the solution.

“Absolutely no problem!” Nikolai activates his Overcoat, dips his hand into the empty space, and takes out a pair of running shoes, hanging from his grip by the laces. “Here you go!”

While you hesitantly accept the brand new running shoes you’re sure he stole from somewhere, you admit that you don’t know how to tie the laces, which also explains why you never wear this type of shoes. Nikolai sees no problem with that and instead sees this as a fun opportunity to teach you something new.

To him, it feels like teaching a kid, which makes him feel elated because it fits his youthful personality. 

“You should’ve told Gogol! I can teach you how!” He takes the shoes from you and gets on his knees. “Step out of your shoes for a while!”

Maybe too elated. He’s so enthusiastic about it that when he teaches you, his rambles would be a little too fast for you to keep up. Nikolai also uses magic show analogies, such as saying that the loops are bunny ears.

Nikolai teaches you a lot of hacks and styles he knows of, sometimes rambling off topic about how he discovered each of them, and then getting back on track with an “Oops! So, back to what I was saying~”

From your perspective, looking at Nikolai from above who shrinks into a crouch who's happily yapping about how to tie shoelaces, giving his personal hacks and favourite styles here and there, makes you feel adored. The enthusiasm in his voice is unmatched.

Make sure you listen carefully because when he’s done demonstrating, he asks you to do the other one yourself. When you kneel down to redo what he did while muttering his explanation, mentioning the same analogies, Nikolai watches you with hands on his cheeks and a big smile on your face as if he’s a child admiring his favourite TV show.

If you’re hesitant in the steps or forget how to do it halfway, he takes the initiative to help you by holding your hands in his to guide you, making sure that you’re following just fine.

When you get to the last step, which is to knot the loops, he tests you. “Pop quiz! What comes after making the bunny ears?” If you get the answer right, Nikolai would be so happy that you actually listen to him.

“Ding Ding, correct!”

After you finish tying it, Nikolai attacks you in a huge hug, pushing you off your feet till you roll on your back on the ground. “Aren’t you a fast learner? It’s so fun watching my own bunny tie a bunny ear knot! If you forget next time, ask Gogol to teach you!”

Bonus: if you start to wear shoes with laces around him more often, this sneaky clown will definitely try to trip you by stepping on the lace.

It’s the little things like this that he enjoys before finally achieving true freedom.

Sigma, although very perceptive and observant, is a busy man on a daily basis. He may notice what kind of shoes you wear daily since it’s his habit from running Sky Casino to observe everything, but he doesn’t really connect the dots on why you never wear shoes with laces.

After carefully choosing his words, he politely asks if the reason you never wear shoes with laces is because of financial problems, which he explains is something he can assist with.

“Or maybe it’s because you don’t like that kind of shoes?” Sigma thumbed his chin. “They’re usually flexible and comfortable to wear though,”

When you explain to him that it’s because you don’t know how to tie the laces, he nods slowly, processing your answer. Unlike Nikolai who sees this as an opportunity to have some fun with you, Sigma bears no particular opinion. Since he’s still a man who’s still learning about this world, he sees your inability as another normal thing that just, happens, with some people. If anything, he sees this as a chance to learn more about how people have diverse colourful aspects to them.

One day, he invites you over to his office and asks you to sit down, presenting a box of brand new laced shoes to you.

“I hope you don’t find this offensive, but if you’d like, I can teach you how to tie your shoelaces.” He scratches his cheek, nervously smiling. He’s hoping for you to say yes, and boy do those shoes look expensive.

Remember when I said Sigma doesn’t have any opinion about this? Maybe he does, and he only realized it when carefully picking those shoes for you. He’s looking forward and even was excited to teach you something he knows, since assisting those precious to him is what gives him a reason for existing.

If you agree to let him demonstrate how, Sigma kneels in front of you, posing like a prince from a children’s story, and places your heel on his thigh so you can perfectly see how it’s done from your seat (he’s a gentleman I love him).

Sigma teaches you the most straightforward shoelace tying method he knows, uses his most gentle voice, and makes sure you can keep up with his explanation and demonstration by occasionally asking if you’re still following.

He offers to teach more tricks and tips he learned from the internet when he first tried to learn tying his own laces. When he does this, his speech speeds up a bit and his smile grows, mirroring his enthusiasm.

Sigma secretly wants you to ask more things. Sigma has memorized the types of shoes with laces his customer in Sky Casino wears, why they wear that type, what kind of model fits certain types of people, and he’s excited to share his knowledge with you.

He makes sure that the knots on your new shoes are tightly done but not too strong around your foot.

“I made sure the size fits your feet before buying them, I hope your feet aren't hurting.” He fidgets.

Sigma asks if you’d like to tie the other one yourself or if you want him to repeat it. If you want to do it, he watches you and kindly offers corrections if you did a step wrong. If you want him to repeat his example, he’d be more than happy to.

Bonus: If you wear the shoes Sigma gifts you around Sky Casino, he’ll subtly blush and ask if they’re comfortable to wear (they better be, since he was careful in picking that pair) and whether you’re happy with how they look.

📜 ; like what you read? visit my bookshop!

[inkdemonapologist]

[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

what episode are we on, THIRTEEN??? is it 13??? I think it’s 13. LUCKY EPISODE 13

anyway a LOT happened this session (sammy got attacked by an Angel! HES FINE) but ONE of the things that happened is that:

Prophet Sammy and Jack and Norman and Pete were sent off to get projector lightbulbs, because we needed a working projector to activate a magical artefact (AS ONE DOES)

we lost norman, so we took..... every lightbulb since we didn’t know which was the right one

we ran into a sleeping snake in the music room, and we were gonna just sneak past, so Prophet told everyone to keep quiet

Jack’s recent sanity loss resulted in a compulsion to defy orders

Jack defied orders

we actually all failed our rolls to be quiet except for Pete, so we determined that Sammy failed his own stealth check by responding with “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” at top volume, we are a very competent team

ANYWAY HAVE A SMATTERING OF OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTES,

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] I have no feelings. [Jack] Well, I have one feeling, and it is: Party.

[Sammy] Sammy will tell him he's the Prophet of our lord! [Joey] Not the Yellow King. You should probably clarify that, [Sammy] (Sammy looks OFFENDED)

[Sammy] And he will pull out the angel trap for, whatever we're planning to do with that... what ARE we planning to do with that? [Jack] Step one, trap an angel. [Jack] Step two, question mark? [Jack] Step three........ Prophet is already here, we skipped ahead a few steps.

[DM] Preach at it! [Sammy] I don't really expect the angels of the False King to be, um, receptive to my message,

[Henry] If no one suggests helping Norman, I honestly don't think he's going to think of it... [GM] Norman is easy to overlook, in Henry's defense. [Henry] But it would be really handy to have... okay, I'm gonna say just before he does it goes, "wait, Norman, you--" [Sammy] (Is Norman receptive--?) [Jack] (Is Norman still there) [Joey] (Actually, Allison's there now? It's really weird.) [GM] (Tom's there now!) [Joey] *cracking up* (The local Tom species is well known to be found in cultist huts!) [Jack] (He's actually just astral projecting from New York, he just thinks he's having horrible PTSD,) [Sammy] (Actually, this is just another loop of Haiti. It's just a really long loop)

[GM, as Norman] Not sure now's the time for a party trick? [Sammy] Just smear your blood on people's hands! At a party!!!

[GM] Okay! 7 more temporary strength damage! [Henry] I'm at 52... [Joey] Joey could beat you in an arm wrestling match! [Sammy] OH NO, oh that IS bad! [Jack] If we're going by Strength number... Henry, having passed out after magical overexertion, is still stronger than Jack!

[Joey] Joey's gonna put a hand on Sammy's shoulder, and tell him that he did a good job! [Sammy] *muttering* ...Sammy does not require the praise of men... he seeks only to please his lord. [Joey] Well too bad! [Joey] He clearly has no taste.

[GM] The Angel is basically in between you and the huts. [Sammy] Cool, cool, cool. That's exactly where I wanted an Angel to be.

[GM] It's Jack's turn! [Jack] Hm, [GM] Joey's growing spear arms-- [Joey] (Pitchfork.) [GM] --Pitchfork arms... Avedon's freaking out... Henry's collapsed and is bleeding again... *cheerfully* Jack can appreciate all of this! In full detail now!

[Jack] Norman, hurry up and come to your senses so you can save your... whatever the heck Avedon is to you! [Sammy] Seems like friends at least. [Jack] Maybe more! [Jack] Imagine~

[GM] Henry is still down for this round, but is there anything he wants to take this opportunity to communicate or do? [Henry] *mumbling quietly* I'm fine, I'm fine... I just, I'm-- I'm fine,

[Sammy] Out of character, I'm alarmed. Sammy doesn't care!

[GM] Norman doesn't really want to leave someone to die. He's assuming everyone's on the same page, but... I guess we'll see!

[Joey] I think he's going to toon-hand, to reach out, and just like... open, the Angel's mouth? [Jack] That is cartoon logic! [Sammy] Put a stick in there. [Joey] Yeah! [Joey] NO, ACTUALLY, THAT'S GREAT [Joey] I'M STEALING THAT

[Jack] OH YEAH. Gives Jack an insanity, immediately forgets the insanity, [GM] It's good that everyone helps out on these! Because I'll tell you what, I do not remember all of them, [Joey] I feel like normally you shouldn't need to remember this many? I feel like we have maybe, uh, gone, a little far with them,

[Jack] The Lurker is a Bendy, he’s been training for this!

[GM] Avedon is muttering, intensely! [Sammy] That's-- that’s good! -- he's fine! See! He's back to normal!

[Joey] Joey is right next to Avedon, and holding him in his freakin, large cartoon hand.... and he rolLED A NINETY THREE ON LISTEN, he has, he has chosen not to listen to a word this man is saying. He is doing the opposite, he is REJECTING LISTENING. [Sammy] I rolled an 83, I don't know what Sammy's listening to but it's not Avedon! [GM] Bendy's also cackling delightedly, which isn't helping. [Sammy] Ohhhhhh that's what I'm listening to, the joyful laughter of my lord.

[Jack] What is stopping us from doing Moon Lens-y things? [Sammy] (oUT OF CHARACTER, I THINK THAT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA!!!!)

[Jack] Maybe we should do, NOT this! and instead do, SOMETHING ELSE!! because it seems as though we have, just a little bit of a time limit!!!

[GM] It's gonna try to claw Moonlight free! In hopes that he can free it later. [Joey] Maybe it'll roll really badly-- [Sammy] Accidentally kill Moonlight, [GM] Let's see if it, like, fumbles... oh no, it does? whAT?? It rolled 98!! [entire party cackling with delight] [GM] Awkward,,,

[Sammy] If you don't shoot it, then Henry's gonna try to use magic again and it's just gonna be a mess. [Jack] He better not! [Sammy] Yeah, but it's Henry, so- [Jack] If he does, Jack'll beat him up himself! [Sammy] Oh, yeah, those sOFT LYRICIST FISTS, YOU WATCH OUT!!! [Jack] Jack punches Henry and Henry gains health

[GM] It stumbles a bit, but it's still coming. [Henry] *calmly* Shoot it again, please.

[Sammy] Sammy just doesn't take a sanity penalty because he's doing great, and is extremely sane. He doesn't have ANY insanities! [GM] I feel like the preaching one might still apply... [Sammy] It's not a compulsion, he just makes bad choices.

[Joey] Norman, did you bring your flashlight? [GM] Hm. Did Norman bring a flashlight to a swanky party...? [Joey] *muttering* he brought a GUN,

[GM] Make sanity checks, those of you who possess sanity!

[Joey] He's immediately going to turn around, and pull out the stone, and try to convert it! [Sammy] *softly, with feeling* ...you asshole...! [Henry] Uh, nonono, hey, uh-- [Sammy] (That's my job--!) [Joey] He's specifically trying to convert it to... not the Messenger, [Sammy] *DISTRESSED SCREECHING*

[GM] People who register as normal humans should be fine? [Jack] Does Sammy count as a normal human, currently? [GM] He does! [Sammy] Alas. He still must exist in this prison.

[Henry] Henry's going to say something along the lines of "Don't make me regret this," and he's going to start warding the door. [Sammy] (gOSH,,, whY ARE YOU, LISTENING TO HIM????) [Jack] (They just enable each other!) [Sammy] *incoherent yelling*

[GM] There's a big ol' snake! In the chair! [Henry] snair (snake chair) [Joey] Oh! You guys have to grab the snake, for Henry! [Sammy] We... don't! [Henry] For his collection!! [GM] Snare the snair!! [Sammy] NO! We're not gonna grab the snake chair! You didn't tell Sammy, 'now if you see a snake chair while you're out, make sure to grab that!' You DIDN'T TELL HIM THAT, YOU SHOULD'VE PUT IT ON THE LIST before you send him out like this, and not TEXT HIM EXTRA THINGS WHEN HE'S HALF-WAY THERE!!!

[GM] *describing weapons that can be found in the music room* There's lots of blunt instruments around... [Jack] NO!!!

[Henry] He's not going to be able to physically restrain Joey for the entire time you guys are gone!! [Jack] Because we all know that's the only way to stop Joey Drew.

[Joey] He's going to fix the story, and he's not going to let the Messenger ever mess with them again! [Henry] WE CAN DO THAT ANOTHER TIME, DREW

[GM] What is Henry trying to convince him, exactly? [Henry] *so, so tired* To just... stop.....

[Henry] ...I don't know... he wants to take as much strain off of Joey as he can-- [Sammy] DON'T TIE YOURSELF TO AN ELDRITCH ARTEFACT! [Henry]..........yeah, I'm going to listen to the ghost of Sammy.

[GM] You get to the closet, and find lightbulbs! [Sammy] So Norman has found what we need. [GM] No. Norman's not there anymore. [Sammy] .................what. [Joey] *cracking up* (ALLISON is there!)

[Sammy] *muttering* Okay, let's move very quietly through the room and not wake up the snake. [Jack] ...is he saying that out loud? [Sammy] ..........yes. [Sammy] Probably something more like, "Stay quiet, my sheep" [Jack] HMMMMMMMMMM [Sammy] I'm sorry, Sammy doesn't know about your insanity [Jack] HMMMMMMMMMMMM! [Joey] *laughs* Oh, we're disasters! [Jack] Theoretically, what would I do to suppress a compulsion...?

[Jack] And Norman isn't in this room? [GM] No, he is not. Although, uh.... yeah, nope. Nope!

[Joey] I honestly did not think Joey was going to get this far. I thought people would be back by now. [GM] There was a snake, [Sammy] We had to take a bit of a circuitous route, and SOMEONE is playing the piano! Even though I told him not to! [Jack] Also, snircuitous. [Sammy] (Why is this happening to me.) [Jack] I'm helping you method act Sammy Lawrence!

[GM] He does hear some of that laughing again, sounding very pleased, and an unpleasantly loud metallic sound. [Sammy] (.......is Norman actually becoming the Projectionist!? Eps is gonna be THRILLED!)

[drowning-moonlight]

Review for season 4, episodes 14-17 of Young Justice.

Link to the puzzle: https://www.jigsawplanet.com/?rc=play...

Two YouTubers are mentioned early in the video.

They are MangoSirene: https://www.youtube.com/c/MangoSirene and TheSirkShow247: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheSirkShow247

Transcript under the cut.

Hello!

This video will be a review of Kaldur’s arc in season 4 of Young Justice. It will contain spoilers for episodes 14 through 17.

I’m kind of surprised that I’ve never done a review for this show before. I have been a fan of it since it first aired back in 2010. It’s one of my favorite shows ever. I used to watch Young Justice reviews on YouTube when seasons 1 and 2 were still coming out. My favorite reviewers were the SirkShow247 and MangoSirene. I have such fond memories of watching their videos. Anyway, Young Justice just means so much to me because it’s what got me into DC Comics. I was always into Marvel as a kid, and I still like Marvel of course, but watching Young Justice as a teenager really got me into DC so it holds a special place in my heart for that reason. Maybe someday I’ll do a video on how I got into comics in general and how I felt about Young Justice when it first came out.

I was heartbroken when it got canceled and then absolutely elated when it was renewed again after years of being off air. Unfortunately, though, I found season 3 to be a bit disappointing for certain reasons. But I am liking season 4 a lot better so that’s good. And I quite liked Kaldur’s arc for the most part. It seems pretty well received by most of the fandom as well, which I’m glad to see.

I remember when season 1 was first airing, a lot of the fans didn’t really care for Aqualad all that much. I was mostly involved with the fandom on tumblr and YouTube and I remember seeing that people thought he was boring and that they’d rather have Garth since he was the classic Aqualad. I mean Kaldur was usually the calm and responsible one, at least compared to the other team members, but I liked that. I liked that he was so level headed when most of the team were kind of rash. Some of my favorite episodes in season 1 are Downtime and Alpha Male, which are good Kaldur episodes that show him being a leader and figuring himself out. And I really like that his arc in season 4 delved into his backstory a little bit to explain why he was the more responsible of the group.

We learn in episode 15, “Ebb Tide,” that when he was a child, his parents were away, either physically or emotionally, so he had to grow up quicker than most and work to earn a living. I kind of wish we had gotten this sooner than season 4 but I’m glad to finally see more of his backstory now. I like that his parents acknowledged that they made some mistakes because we rarely see parents admitting their faults to their kids, whether in real life or in media. And I liked that Kaldur didn’t seem to hold any grudges or resentment towards them because that is something we see a lot of in media. So I really liked how Kaldur’s relationship with his family was portrayed.

I also liked that there was that tie-in with Zatanna’s arc. When we learned that season 4 would have arcs focusing only on a character at a time, I was a little worried that they wouldn’t connect well to each other, so seeing that Child and the Chaos Lords were also causing problems for other characters besides just Zatanna and the magic users, I thought it was really good. I think it was a good choice to have the arcs impact each other. And it tied into Vandal Savages storyline quite well too, though I do have some misgivings about the Arion/Ocean Master plot point…

Like at first I was confused as to how Ocean Master was even there because he very clearly got murdered in season 3. Before the episodes came out, when we just had the promotional material, some fans were speculating that this new Ocean Master was actually Kaldur’s boyfriend, Wyynde. And I’m glad that he wasn’t! I want Kaldur to be happy so I didn’t want him to have an evil ex-boyfriend, especially since he already has an evil biological dad. So I’m glad new Ocean Master wasn’t Wyynde.

Though I was really trying to figure out how Orm could still be alive after getting beheaded last season. Did Ra’s al Ghul throw him in the Lazarus pit? No, that wouldn’t make sense. So how? *sigh* I should have expected him to be a clone. I can’t believe that didn’t cross my mind. This show is built on clones. The original team rescuing Conner, the clone of Superman, is what kicked off the show in the first place. Roy Harper’s clone being a mole was a huge plot-point at the end of season 1. I can’t believe cloning never crossed my mind. But whatever. I hope this clone of Orm gets a happy ending. He himself never actually did anything bad so maybe he could live a good, happy life, whether he accepts Arthur as his brother or not.

Though the Ocean Master clone and Arion stuff was probably my least favorite part of the arc. I just think it was a little too convoluted and random. Ocean Master being killed, then cloned, then his original mind was put into a clone of Vandal Savage’s grandson Arion. It was just a little weak in my opinion. It felt kind of rushed in that last episode of the arc.

I will say, however, that it was great to finally see some real consequences for Vandal Savage. I mean we have never seen him this angry before. He actually gets to fail! There have been multiple times throughout the series when The Team would win but Savage would always say that their victory didn’t really mean anything and the Light would still come out on top. Especially back in season 1, and while that is still my favorite season, the fact that Vandal Savage’s plans always seemed to not be hurt too much was kind of lazy writing in my opinion. So I’m really glad that he’s been taken down a peg in Kaldur’s arc.

Also, I’m a bit surprised that this arc didn’t mention Black Manta at all. I was expecting him to show up, or at least be talked about. It’s not a problem that he wasn’t there but I have always been curios how the show would handle him. Okay, so there was a point in the comics when Black Manta actually murdered Aquaman’s young son, Arthur Jr. and I’ve always wondered if Young Justice would do that plot line. It would be incredibly sad and brutal sure but I think it could make sense in the show. Maybe Manta would kill Artur as like revenge for Aquaman turning Kaldur against his biological father. Maybe it could happen. Maybe.

Well that was kind of depressing. Let’s move on to something more light hearted. I *pause* Lost My Mind in that scene in episode 14, “Nautical Twilight,” when La’Gaan says he has a wife AND a husband. LIKE GOOD FOR HIM. Earlier in the episode we see that his wife, Cora, is pregnant but then a few minutes later we see Cora calling some other guy her husband I was like, wait what? I thought you were with La’Gaan? Is there some cheating going on here?? But then La’Gaan! La’Gaan yells out about his WIFE – AND – his HUSBAND. Y’all it killed me. I literally had to pause the episode right there and collect myself. Did that really just happen??? I rewound it and watched it like five more times before moving on. Lagoon Boy is Polyamorous. Truly a standout moment in the whole arc. Good for him. Was not expecting it in the slightest. GOOD. FOR. HIM. Love to see it. Would love to see more.

Another one of my favorite scenes was actually the credit scene for episode 17, “Leviathan Wakes.” Kaldur getting his well-deserved therapy session from Black Canary really touched my heart. I thought it was sweet that he views saving Conner with so much pride. But I felt so sad for him losing so many team members. Although Tula is the only one there that’s you know actually dead. Well maybe Wally. The jury is still out on whether or not Wally is still alive. But whatever, I digress.

All in all, I really liked Kaldur’s arc. I’m so glad that he finally chose to rest at the end. Kaldur deserves a break and some time to heal. I wonder how long it will last, though? What are your thoughts? Do you think Kaldur will be back as a hero soon or will his break be permanent?

What are your thoughts on the various B-plots like the one where Saturn Girl talks with Superman and then showed up at Bart’s house? I’m interested to see where that plot line goes. Also the stuff with Violet Harper was interesting. I’m not Muslim so I can’t speak on how accurate their conversation with Gabrielle’s mother was. But it was really good to see Violet again because they were probably one of my favorites of the new characters introduced in season 3. I wonder what will happen with them in the future. The stuff with Beast Boy was sad, but I liked seeing how people handle grief differently. Is her going to quit the team? Is he going to unalive himself? It’s getting rather intense. Oh! Also Conner! What’s going on with him at the end?? When he saw Wally, was that actually Wally or just a hallucination? The one where Match killed Superman was definitely a hallucination. Right? Was Lex Luthor really there? Does him saying, “Red Son,” reset Conner back to his Cadmus programming because he sure seemed like he was reverting back to his season 1 mental state a little bit.

What are your thoughts on all of this?

[clockworkowl]

I don’t know why but I have spent way too much time developing a headcanon about how just about everyone behaves when either they are ill/injured or you/other characters are ill/injured. Will this lead to me actually writing a fic? (the odds aren’t great given how long it’s been since I’ve even written anything with my own characters let alone trying to stay true to the sketch of someone else’s) Who knows, but I guess this is the closest I’ve come to writing anything at all in far too long.

Sholmes:

*I think we can all agree that Sholmes is the absolute worst when he’s sick.

*He’s totally the type who being the slightest bit ill turns into a complete dramatic bitch and hams up the tiniest of colds like he’s about to die from the consumption. He lightly groans as though the effort of extending his arm fully to take a Kleenex out of the box himself is too much. Like my old rat D’onofrio his breathing is fine if he has no idea you are home, but the second he notes your presence every breath is a wheezy death rattle until you come and worry and fuss over him until his attention meter is full up.

*But also as soon as there’s something he actually wants to do he’s magically cured and runs off without even putting on a coat.

*In a modern AU he for some reason spends a lot of time on WebMD either convincing you that his allergy-related headache is a rare usually fatal disease. Or that you probably have a rare malady that is exacerbated by eating pheasant he should probably go ahead and eat your pheasant because he’s only thinking of your health.

* When you are sick it is unpredictable at best, but it depends on how sick you actually are. There will probably be a variety of dubious cures and tinctures which you should probably ignore unless Iris made them.

*He has literally tied Kazuma to a bed (this will make more sense shortly).

*He will also somehow claim to find Ryunosuke’s take all the meds at once approach reasonable.

Kazuma:

*Asogi is also a terrible patient who will drive you to want to drink, but in the opposite fashion to Sholmes.

*He’s the ‘it’s only a flesh wound’ type who will thoroughly ignore any and all evidence of illness or injury claiming he is perfectly fine and hale until he is half dead with it and passes out

*Even after he regains consciousness will continue to argue that he will be in tomorrow he only needs to run it under a cold tap.

*You will have to tie him to a bed to get him to take doctor’s orders, and then he will be sullen about it.

*Once you get him into a room and confiscate clothes he could go outside in where he is sulking he will change tactics and he will order you around a lot trying to make you angry enough to throw your hands up and let him take care of himself, except with Ryunosuke who he knows this won’t work on so he just tries to wheedle him into bringing his clothes back and makes double entendres and suggestive comments about being tied to the bed.

*When it is you who is sick he will become the overbearing one and you won’t be sure whether that is because he worries about you or because it’s revenge for when he was sick.

Ryunosuke:

*Ryunosuke is challenging when he’s ill because he will acknowledge the illness and neither exaggerate or ignore it, but he is too concerned about whether it inconveniences everyone else for him to be ill, so he will try to downplay or hide the fact he’s as sick as he is.

*He’ll try to get well as quick as possible hence doing dumb stuff like taking all the meds at once.

*He can be reasoned with, like you could convince him to go home and take a day off, or that if he shows up sick he’ll get you all sick, but he’ll try to work from home or come back before he’s 100% or he’ll also try to prevent anyone from helping him because he feels like he’s causing extra work or that he might get someone sick.

*Can also be intimidated into being a good patient with the threat of a Susato Takedown or Barok just glaring at him until he caves.

*When you are sick he worries over you and runs around trying to make everything easy for you. Sholmes will take advantage of that to the max, so he must be sent elsewhere to avoid that.

*Once threatened to tie Kazuma to the bed so he would follow doctor’s orders. Once he realized how suggestive that sounded and got flustered he gave up on that plan (even though everyone agreed it was actually the only plan that was likely to be successful.) Now they rib him about it every time either he or Asogi get ill.

Susato:

*Susato is level-headed and actually a fairly good patient to no one’s surprise, provided she is the only one who is ill.

*She will also be worried about being an inconvenience, but has the sense to do what’s needed to get better and then tries to make it up to everyone after even though no one thinks that’s necessary

*She won’t let anyone help her though unless she really needs it. As she doesn’t want them to get sick or to fuss.

*If others are sick she will tend to put them all before her even if she’s sicker, and gets stubborn about this. This has led to at least one occasion of Sholmes dropping the theatrics and Kazuma acting like a model patient at the same time.

* When you’re sick she is no nonsense and actually helpful. She spends a lot of time shooting down Sholmes’ webMD self diagnoses, and makes Ryunosuke give her his prescriptions so she can administer the dosage because she doesn’t have time to drag him to the hospital. She has also had to threaten the Susato takedown on Kazuma more than once if he doesn’t go see the doctor today.

Gina:

*Gina is in the Kazuma mold of patient, except when you finally force her to act like she is as sick as she is, she turns into Sholmes.

*When you are ill she is aggressive about you taking care of yourself and worries, she has a lot of past trauma with people dying from her time trying to take care of her orphan army in the rookeries.

*Is not above threats, guilt-trips, and shooting you with a smoke grenade full of vitamin c or eucalyptus vap-o-rub mist.

*has pickpocketed Ryunosuke’s prescription to give to Susato more than once to avoid him taking them all at once.

Iris-

*When ill Iris is a lot more like Susato, but she totally tries to invent her own tea-based cures, and she will also downplay or hide that she’s sick because she doesn’t want anyone to worry about her, but doesn’t go overboard with it the way Ryunosuke does.

*She is pretty much immune to Sholmes’ theatrics at this point, but sometimes will make up new imaginary web md illnesses that he might have to amuse herself.

*She will mother you with tea-based or soup-based cures which you will be safe consuming and will make you feel better emotionally if not physically, but often physically as well.

*Has also modified one of her smoke grenade guns to fire eucalytpus vap-o-rub mists, and also so they can knock Kazuma or Gina out safely and temporarily so they can be made to convalesce when they are being extra stubborn.

Barok-

* somehow Barok is the best patient of all of them. It’s probably the only time that he is truly polite and courteous with no sarcastic requests for forgiving discourtesies.

*This comes from some combination of Klimt telling him as a boy about a noble’s responsibility to the people of his estate (and his actually taking this concept to heart unlike a lot of nobles) and the sheer number of times he has had to rely on doctor’s, nurses, and staff due to the numerous attempts on his life over the years.

*He will downplay the seriousness of an injury especially out of habit and so as not to worry those who he cares about (though he finds it shocking always that anyone cares about him) but he will always get it seen to and respect orders provided they come from a professional and there are reasons given.

*He will insist that his staff gets things if he needs them and not you, but this is because he wants the staff to feel comfortable and he pays them extra compensation for it. Were he contagious he would not allow them but would pay their wages for them to be away from his home. (This is a big secret and his staff is very loyal to him even without this money. It’s just like the chalices and vintages all the theatrics of it is to fund these families of artisans. Charity without charity.)

*When you are sick, except maybe Sholmes who he just can’t even, he is kind and no nonsense. He thinks you should come to stay in his guest room and been seen by his doctor, that way you’ll get the best care and recover quicker. He’ll have his staff take care of you (but also report back to him if you aren’t being cooperative. He will tell you to think nothing of it, you’re friends and he’s rich and has no family left (except Iris and she doesn’t even live with him) so what else would he do with it, besides it provides wages.

*He is not above intimidating Ryunosuke (sometimes also Gina ) into convalescing as they should.

*This doesn’t work with Kazuma who he had also considered tying to the bed, but instead decided to let him have it his way and then when he got bad enough and passed out took him to the estate anyway and made sure the doctors told him exactly how much longer he had to convalesce than he would have if he’d listened to Barok in the first place.

*He brings this up every single time so they can just skip to the part where Kazuma sulks and is a grouchy patient.

*Is the only person that doesn’t join in with the group pastime of ribbing Ryunosuke about threatening to tie Kazuma to the bed To make him follow doctor’s orders.

[maemi324]

Mafia

Hey there friends! It’s been a hot minute since I’ve actually posted something. 

Let me just say, Happy Holidays! I hope you are having a wonderful and safe holiday. 

This fic was inspired and written for @butterscotchbaku​ and @in-this-house-we-stan-izuku​ based on some requests I had written in, as well as just ideas passed back and forth. 

I hope you two are having a wonderful day and may that continue into the new year! Thank you for all you’ve written and done!

Pairing: Izuku/Fem.Reader

Warnings: mentioned beatings, mentioned assault but nothing described in detail. all very vague. uhh violence, or hinted at violence. Edited only by me, so i may have missed something.

 I think that’s it. 

I hope you two enjoy this! 

Cigarette smoke hung heavily in the room, walls filled with generic knickknacks and warm colored walls gave the meeting a false sense of pleasantness. To any unsuspecting person, this was any other meeting room, one long table with rounded edges and somewhat padded chairs, the head of the table having the one most plush. 

Hell, even the people occupying them would have anyone turning up their nose in disinterest. Nothing but business men and women in dark, smart looking suits.

But you knew better. Sitting at the head was the infamous Izuku Midoriya, known under the name of Deku, direct descendent of the greatest Mafia leader Japan had ever seen; All Might. 

And here you sat, comfortably in Izuku’s lap, your temple pressed against his neck as you listened to his voice rumble on towards the other members. You were hardly paying attention to what was being said as you glanced around the room to the others.

Katsuki Bakugou- Dynamite, or TNT if you were feeling particularly cheeky. He was head of interrogation, finding out who knew what and definitely had too many ways of making people talk, and only one sure fire way of keeping them quiet. 

Todoroki Shouto- Bakugou’s counter in interrogation. He was mainly there to keep Bakugou from killing every target. He could control his temper, sure, but Todoroki added a sense of cold unease to their targets. He was effective against the folks who didn’t rise to Bakugou’s jabs and threats. He tapped the ashes of his cigarette into the small dish provided.

Kirishima Eijirou- Red Riot-another strong man and a third in the interrogation squad. He kept Bakugou from grousing the entire time, as well as leveling the two tempers in the group. Though he was a strong man, he was also incredibly sweet. You recalled that, while dealing with some unsavory characters that had children- typically rescuing the children at the other parents pleading- Red Riot was a favorite with them, his bright smile and charm keeping them distracted as Bakugou and Todoroki dealt with the problem.

Iida- Ingenium-was the getaway driver, best out of the best. He somehow always managed to get them out as quickly as possible while still following the law. It made losing the police all the easier. Ochaco Uraraka, or Uravity, was the treasurer, in charge of keeping account of all of the mafia’s funds, who owed them money and why. For more problematic clients, she was a stickler down to the very last penny. 

There were others, but those were just the ones in the room at the moment. You sighed softly, adjusting in Izuku’s lap. Someone at the end of the table was pleading for something. You could tell by the unimpressed glare on Izuku’s face that it was going south for whoever this was- a blond man with an inferiority complex for certain.

You glanced down at your left hand, engagement ring shimmering brightly despite the warm fluorescent lights. It wasn’t very large, an emerald surrounded by diamonds. He’d only given it to you a few days ago. On a rare day, you were able to go out with him in public-the benefit of a mask and some contacts while on the job- you had decided to flit about a few museums. The ring caught your eye immediately, the prized possession of some rich so and so, dating back who knows how long in their family.

Maybe it was because of how brightly it matched your lovers eyes, but the ring called to you. You didn’t mention a peep to your lover however. You knew he would have taken it right then and there. You rather liked coming to this museum, with added security after a robbery, you would have to frequent it less.

Your lovestruck fool of a man decided to do it anyway. He’d said that the plan went off without a hitch, though the smudges of dirt and a bit of blood- not his own- said otherwise. At the time, you had to question why, sure he’d robbed plenty of other places, gifts for trips that took longer than expected, but a place that you favored going?

“I’m just crazy about you doll, You deserve the best of the best. The way you eyed that ring, I knew there’d be nothing else that would be more perfect for you. But, it’s not just because you fancied it that I got it for you. We’re together, we always will be...but I want to make it more official. I wanna be yours forever, and I want you to be mine. What do you say doll? Marry me?”

You couldn’t say yes fast enough.

A gentle nudge to your shoulder brought you out of your daze. You looked up to the love of your life.

“What do you think dollface? What should we do with Monama?” 

You sat up in his lap, watching as the blond shivered in his spot, a smirk on your fiance’s face hidden by his fist as he leaned against it.

“Monama, what is it he did again?”

“Well Doll, he owes us money. He swears he’s good for it, but this is the third time he hasn’t been good for it.What should we do with this foolish, foolish man?”

Monama...ah yes now you remembered him! A little wanna be Mafia leader who went under when he ran out of money. He placed bets with other rival gangs against Deku, proclaiming that not only could he and his group get it done, but get it done better. 

There were times when they had, though just barely. It was hardly enough to keep a betting pool aimed against Deku however. Everyone but him seemed to know it. The overconfidence in his group and underestimating Deku lead to his downfall when Deku pulled off an impossible mission without even having to undo his tie.

When these gangs came to collect, he begged Deku to allow him and his group safety, help paying off the debt. Deku agreed, but in return, he had a year to earn the money back, only adding interest when the blond began getting too cocky. 

“I just need a little more time! A day, give me a day!” he pleaded, voice shrill and desperate. 

You winced, brows scrunched in annoyance.

Honestly, you didn’t care for Monama, and weren’t all too excited for his continued presence in the gang. You looked down at your nails idly.

“Have Dynamite follow him for a day then. If whatever magic he seems to think he can pull off, doesn’t in fact pull off, then he can have fun beating the change out of him. Or, whoever he’s seeing to get the money can pay it” You figured, even though he’d be annoyed at the idea of tailing that worm, Bakugou would have a good time beating it out of him.

Izuku gave Bakugou a look, who only snarled in response. A tilt of his head and Bakugou got up from his chair, footsteps heavy as he grabbed Monama by the arm, “Let’s get this over with you pathetic extra,” rolling his eyes as Moana sagged in slight relief, gratitude spilling from his lips.

Izuku held up a hand, “Let Red Riot escort him out for now. We have some business that you’d like to be here for I’m sure”

Bakugou’s eyes widened a fraction, a grin making its way onto his face as he shoved Monama towards Kirishima.

As Bakugou took his seat and Kirishima exited with Monama in tow, another man entered the room, a small man with purple hair. You recognized him as Mineta’s father. His son’s invention, a sticky substance that rendered anything in its grip as good as stuck, was what kept him in the group. What had him on thin ice however, was his treatment of the women in the group, all things he learned from his father. Izuku left Iida to beat it out of him however he saw fit. All it would take is one more strike. 

His father, however, was all out of strikes. The way he leered at you and the other girls had you all walking on eggshells around him. You only came forward to Izuku about it after you and the others had confided in one another. He had groped at you after a party the gang had thrown. It was the first and last time he’d ever made a physical move towards you.

You could feel the man's lecherous eyes on you, making you lean into Izuku, his body blocking the man's gaze. 

While you told him your story, Izuku’s face had remained calm, though the cup he had been holding shattered into thousands of pieces. He knew there were rumors about the senior, but to have it be found out as fact, and not just rumors from other gangs... He was furious, you knew that, and you knew somehow, someway, that Minoru senior would pay.

“Doll, why don’t you go talk to YaoMomo about wedding dresses, hm?” You nodded your head, though hesitant to leave the safety and comfort of his lap. You knew you were safe with Izuku by your side, but that didn’t mean you were comfortable passing by this...Disgusting being. His gaze softened and he hooked his arm around yours, escorting you personally towards the door.

Izuku tilted your head into a sweet kiss, his thumb rubbing comforting circles onto your side.

Izuku opened the door for you, but before you left, he kissed you again, deeper, sweeping away the sickly feeling of being watched with his tongue as it danced with yours, one hand cupping your jaw to pull you close.

He pulled away all too soon for your tastes, hand leaving your jaw, “Actually, maybe talk with her about the cake too, this may take a bit...” he turned away from you, eyes turning cold and jaded as the door closed.

“It’s about to get ugly in here”

[brutal-nemesis]

E&T: The Price to Pay

Hello welcome back to actually whumping Erebus 💕 I missed his screams

←Previous - Masterlist - Next→

Ingredients: tooth whump, noncon body modification, noncon touching (unsexy)

Far too soon, Erebus found himself immobilized and staring up at Zander the rat once again. They’d let him keep his shirt on this time, but that wasn’t exactly reassuring as that made it much more likely that she was going to mess with his face or somewhere else that would be difficult to hide. 

That is, if he ever even got the luxury of hiding the thing he was turning into.

Neteri came over, returning his wary gaze with a beaming smile. “How’s my favorite test subject?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m your only test subject.”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love ya.” She ruffled his hair affectionately, and he hated that he was starting to like it when she touched him like that. “And even if I had other ones, you’d still be my favorite.”

“That so.”

“Yeah! You’re just so cute and well-behaved.” 

“I-I’m just not stupid. I know fighting doesn’t do me any good. I’m not doing it for you or anything.”

“And that’s perfectly fine, as long as the end result is the same!” She gave his head one final pat before turning and putting her gloves on. “Now, let’s get started. This should be pretty quick and easy since we’re...going to take things a little more slowly. Well okay not slowly but just...sticking to my original plan. Which means starting with the simpler procedures and working our way up. In conclusion, today really won’t be anything too bad.” She patted his cheek. “Open up.”

“I still don’t-ahh.” Erebus was expecting her to gag him again, but he felt his stomach drop when she shoved the rubber block in between his teeth instead. If she wasn’t going to do something to his tongue again, that meant...she wasn’t going to mess with his teeth, was she? 

She held up a pair of pliers, confirming his worst fears. His abject terror must have shown on his face, as she gave him a sympathetic look and squeezed his hand in her gloved one. “Just two, okay? I’ll be quick, I promise. And it’s either this or I give you a tail, which I assume you don’t want a tail.” Erebus tried to shake his head, because he most certainly did not want a tail, but the strap around his forehead prevented him from moving much. “Uh, thumbs up if you don’t want a tail and thumbs down if-wait no you can’t move your wrist.” She stared into space for a moment before coming to the solution Erebus had been thinking of from the beginning, which was pulling the rubber block out of his mouth so he could speak.

“No, I don’t want a tail,” he said tiredly. “I really don’t want you to...to pull my teeth either, but if I had to pick between the two...I’d really rather not have a tail.”

“You sure? It would be a cool tail. Venomous.”

“I am now even more sure that I absolutely do not want it.”

“You’re no fun.” She shoved the block back in, and Erebus found himself a little bit calmer, because at least he sort of chose this. Not that he in any way consented to what she was about to do to him, but he preferred it over the alternative, which was guaranteed to make him feel completely inhuman. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to steady his breathing as she started to move towards his mouth.

The sensation of the pliers against his tooth was...unpleasant, to say the least. The cold, hard metal scraped against it, sending horrific echoes through his skull. His heart started beating even faster as their grip tightened and he felt her start to pull. Was she even strong enough to do this oh Drottkia there was so much pressure building up but he knew once it gave it would-

Hurt like hell, lighting up his entire face with agony oh it felt like someone had stabbed the spot his tooth used to be with a molten nail and he tried not to scream he really did there was blood dripping down into the back of his throat and already something cold and wet was pressing into the tender flesh around the hole she’d just made it was so cold and one, two, three now it was itching, burning, agonizingly white-hot and there was nothing, nothing else besides anguish as the foreign tooth wormed its way in.

At some point after the pain mostly died out, Neteri removed the block, allowing him to relax his jaw. He tried to catch his breath as he did so, his throat already raw from screaming. Hesitantly, he moved his tongue towards the new tooth, foolishly hoping it wasn’t-it was.

A fang. A long, sharp fang. He had a fang. 

And in a few minutes, he was getting another one.

“You did so well, bud, halfway done,” Neteri reassured as she gently wiped some of the blood from around his mouth. “Can you bite together for me?” He begrudgingly did so, resisting the pointless urge to bite her as she examined the new tooth. It hadn’t aligned quite right, and it took a few tries for her to get it right, each time involving her painfully twisting it with the pliers.

When Erebus’s upper and lower jaws finally fit together properly, she shoved the block back in and gripped his remaining canine with the pliers. He hoped he’d never have to feel pliers in his mouth after today, they were so hard and cold and-hurt hurt hurt they hurt so much pulling pulling the pressure’s building up again I want this over with but I’m scared to feel that pain again but you chose it and you deserve it because you failed so endure it even as the agony stabs you in the skull even as you can’t stop screaming even as the magic burns and forces another fang into your mouth you have to endure because it’s all you can do anymore endure it endure it endure it

Thankfully, the second tooth didn’t need as much adjusting as the first, and soon enough Erebus found himself breathing a sigh of relief that at least the pain was over, even if the effects of what had just happened would be with him forever. Neteri patted him and praised him before calling in the guards, saying she’d come by his cell to check on him once she got everything cleaned up.

Back in the cell, Erebus stood in front of the mirror, as had become his weird sort of ritual after a procedure. The blood around his mouth was something he’d seen before, but as for what was inside...he knew they were there, he could feel them in there. A part of him knew, though, that once he saw them, there was no going back. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

The fangs were so, so apparent. They were noticeably longer than the teeth that had been there before had been, even if they weren’t as long as he had originally feared, but they looked as sharp as they felt. Once again, he couldn’t help but feel like he was some sort of monster, since he was certainly starting to look the part. He closed his jaw, hesitantly pulling his lips back into a smile-and oh, oh, that was horrific, no, no, absolutely no one would ever see that without wanting to run for their life. Maybe it was for the best that he never felt like smiling much these days. 

When Neteri came in a few minutes later, Erebus was laying on his bed, curled around his pillow as he stared blankly ahead. She crouched in front of him, head cocked to the side. “Your mouth doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“No, it’s fi-ow.” In trying to say that he felt physically alright, he’d accidentally nicked his lower lip.

“Aw, poor thing,” Neteri chuckled sympathetically, reaching up and healing the little puncture with a tap of her finger and a spark of magic. “You’ll get used to them eventually.” Erebus elected not to respond, simply looking away. Why did she think she was in any position to feel sorry for him when she was the one causing him all this pain in the first place? And for what? He didn’t move as she stood up, but he was startled when she gently scooped up his head, sitting down in the spot where it had been before letting it drop back down. Onto her lap.

He panicked slightly, trying to sit up, but she held him down. “It’s alright, Erebus. Just lie still.” He opened his mouth to protest, but how was he supposed to explain that he didn’t want to be comforted this way, that he didn’t want to associate this feeling with her, that this was something only his mother (and Lythia, on a couple wonderful occasions) had done with him? Thoughts of both of them, of his life before all this, of his home, started to overwhelm him, and before he knew it he was crying. Again.

Neteri didn’t say a word, simply stroking his hair and rubbing his back as he clutched the pillow and sobbed about anything and everything. He missed his father and his home and his bed and his friends and the palace gardens and his freedom and having control over his own body and not being chained up all the time and how, how could Neteri act like she cared about him while she was cutting him into pieces he wished she would just stop because part of him was starting to like her and want her to do things like stroke his hair and that was wrong he shouldn’t like the person who-who owned him because he was owned he was he knew it deep down and he’d never admit it but it was true and he hated it and he wished he could hate her and he didn’t see how things would ever, ever be okay again and he was powerless to do anything but cry as the woman who was keeping him captive imitated the love of people he’d never see again.

At some point after he started to calm down, he felt one of Neteri’s hands leave him and opened his eyes to see that she was holding something in front of his face. “Here, I found this when I was going through my bag the other day. Did you want to keep it?” she said as she held out a light blue ribbon, the one she’d pulled out of his hair before cutting it off. The ribbon that had belonged to his mother. He quickly snatched it up and held it close to his chest, afraid of losing it again. 

“Thanks,” Erebus said quietly, rubbing the familiar silk between his fingers. It really did mean a lot to him to have this little piece of his old life, even if his hair was nowhere near long enough to tie it in. 

“Of course.” She stroked his hair a few more times before giving him a final pat and sliding out from underneath his head. He sat up and wiped the last few tears out of his eyes, not even flinching when her hand slid under his chin and tilted it up slightly. “Erebus, I just want you to know that if you ever want to talk about anything, you can just let me know, alright? I understand if you don’t want to, given, uh,” her other hand poked at the tag attached to his collar, “but if you do...I’m here, okay?” He just nodded, despite the fact that he sincerely doubted he’d ever take her up on that offer. Accepting comfort like he’d just done was bad enough.

After Neteri left, Erebus looked down at the ribbon, wondering what he should do with it. The thought of tying it to his collar crossed his mind, but he decided against it. He didn’t want something his mother had touched anywhere near that awful thing. His wrist, then? Not his right one, not on that foreign arm that he still hadn’t had any luck in transforming. He settled on his left wrist, tying it rather sloppily since he could only use one hand to make the knot. 

Looking at it, thinking of everything he’d lost, Erebus realized that despite everything, despite how miserable he was, despite how much he wanted to escape this place, he still didn’t want to die. He didn’t know if it was hope that things would get better, fear of death, or something else entirely, but he realized that he wanted to live. He wanted to survive.

And if he needed to accept Neteri’s comfort every so often in order to keep himself sane, then so be it.

Next→

Tags: @dramaticcollapse @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @galaxywhump @as-a-matter-of-whump @mnmlover2002 @tears-and-lilies @yet-another-heathen @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @starnight-whump @unicornscotty @thebewilderer @kixngiggles @itallstartedwithharry @inky-whump

[rhodeys]

Loki’s Æsir glamour

I finally found the scan I mentioned a little while back, about Odin being responsible for Loki’s glamour.

So yeah, I take this to mean that Loki can’t actually change forms at will. I do wonder if the “reverts to his birth form when touching frost giants or their relics” thing is triggered by the exposure to extreme cold or is more of a… idk, genetic reaction, I guess?

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | EPILOGUE

💖 story masterlist 💖

This is it. This is the happy ending they deserve. Fluff. Fem!Loki, because we don't get enough of Loki's female form. Some musings about relationships in general, I think. Guys, I'm crying as I'm posting this.

note: I've got two posts of outtakes coming out sometime this week. Snippets that didn't fit in the story but that have the needed vibe, y kno? As well as a new story is coming out soon... Be sure to check out my main masterlist and taglist if you like my writing <3

I want to thank all my readers for this amazing journey. I love all of you, really, like- I haven't figured out how to produce serotonin on my own ever since I hit puberty, and you guys, you are an amazing source for it. I appreciate the time and the patience that it took to read this 120k word thing and I hope you found a little something for yourself in my writing. A comfort, maybe, because everyone deserves to be happy. I love you all 3000.

"You suck," I grumbled in Peter's direction. Luckily, the little shit was out of my immediate eyesight and I couldn't just pelt him with the assorted items that were scattered around me; luckily for him - after enduring hours of non-stop rambling from the spider boy, I was ready to bargain with Stephen for the sorcerer to put a temporary mute ban on Pete. His nervousness was becoming contagious.

"And you swallow," Pietro replied with a snicker as I heard him wrestle with Peter's tie over the pathetic noises of whining and grumbling coming from the younger man.

"I'm lady, ladies don't spit," I rolled my eyes into the skies, catching Loki's appreciative snicker. She - and yes, Loki was in her female form for this event - carefully combed and did my hair, something completely out of this world, all puns intended. I supposed she was feeling generous, because her female form generally made Loki even more moody and unapproachable. But in a hot way. I hope she didn't notice me ogling her like some kind of gallery painting. "You're a goddess, I can't believe you're friends with me," I addressed Loki, watching the careful movements of her slender hands in the mirror.

A small smirk and a dusting of pink over her pale cheeks was what I got, but the silence was so, so loud.

"Stop flirting," Wanda remarked from her spot by the window where she was doing Natasha's make-up with surgical precision. "You already have three boyfriends, leave some for us, Jesus," Her tone was playful.

"Oh my God, like you didn't brainfreeze and run into the fucking wall, forehead-first, when you saw Loki walk in," I scoffed as Loki's blush deepened.

My witchy friend grumbled something rude in Sokovian under her breath but refrained from any more comments, choosing to simp in defiant silence. Well, good for her, because I was about a hundred and five percent sure that Loki was as equally as smitten with her. It's just that neither of them knew how to approach the other. What can I say, idiots in love...

And yes, yes, I can say that because it takes one to know one. My own idiots were somewhere on the upper floors - getting ready in their own rooms, pulling out their brand new suits and ties for the annual Stark gala. It was supposed to be a charity fundraiser but as all of us were quite disillusioned, we knew it was nothing but a pissing contest between people with small PP syndrome. Even Tony himself said so.

Which is why I had assembled all the girls and theys in my room for a mission debrief. My own personal pride wouldn't let me be anything but a star, and to be completely honest, I just wanted to show off my family to the world - even if the delicate parts of our relationship were hidden from the general public, it filled me with immense amount of joy to be surrounded by my very own at their absolute best.

As for Pietro and Peter, they arrived not too long after me, Wanda, Natasha and Loki made camp in the biggest room with the most amount of natural light, surrounded by make-up and other assorted tools. Both boys were bickering but it was obvious that some of the older men had gotten on their nerves, forcing the youngsters seek solace with their peers.

"You know, Vanity Fair better be talking about us for at least a week," I grouched as Wanda helped me into my dress before I returned the favour. "The amount of people I had to actually, physically talk to, to get us these fucking gowns, is frankly disgusting."

"Agreed," Loki admired herself in the mirror, smoothing out invisible creases in her gown. "Although I must say, the dressmakers on Midgard are far more patient and open-minded than on Asgard." Truly, Loki had nearly driven the poor lady crazy. But on the upside, Loki looked like a living doll. Pristine, perfect.

"Our whims are their wages," Natasha piped up with a chuckle.

We stepped out into the main room, taking note of the men scattered on the couches, all of them wearing an almost identical expression of being already done with the formal event - which, I didn't blame them. Having gotten used to the informal, communal-living atmosphere, I wasn't overly keen on being surrounded by random rich douchebags either; as it was unavoidable, I was going to be miserable - but at least I was going to be miserable in style.

Predictably, the menfolk froze and hurried to pelt us with compliments as they surveyed our ensemble - all of our dresses had a distinct vibe despite carrying a sense of individuality to each gown. That was my idea, actually, to present the team as a family - both to satisfy my own need for one and to present a good public image for the press. Call it getting good cookie from the public - in advance.

"Stunning, absolutely beautiful," Tony chastely kissed my cheek, leading my by the arm towards the limo, Stephen and Bruce a pace behind us. "I'm the luckiest man in the world."

"We are," Bruce corrected him mutely. Stephen's smirk was a mile wide. "It'll be hard to keep my hands to myself for four hours but I'll manage," The scientist added, eyes briefly flashing a fluorescent green.

"There are children here," Peter interjected, nervously waving a hand. I gently elbowed Tony, speaking with my eyes rather than words, that Pete was in dire need of emotional support for his first big public event. With a sigh, the engineer relocated to sit next to the spider boy, both of them talking in hushed tones.

"Now, Bruce," I smiled innocently. "Why would I refuse a dance or five to my favourite lab partner in crime?" I winked at him as giggles erupted all around us. "And I'm sure there's a point somewhere about wizards sweeping princesses off their feet," I kept up the banter in hopes that any remaining tension would evaporate before we arrive to the venue.

I, however, couldn't lose all of it for we were absolutely assaulted by the photographers and press as we arrived to the red carpet; it was only sheer luck that me and Wanda didn't stumble ass over heels out of the limo. That luck's name was Loki: her magic delicately helped us to exit the car with grace despite our large gowns. Mental note to buy Loki all the chocolate: add to priority list.

It went about as good as it could. Peter was introduced as a trainee - and nearly had an aneurysm when Tony none-too-kindly corrected the host, calling Peter his protégée and successor. As for little old me? Rising star of biochemical engineering. No titles, no direct titles, but it was heavily implied we were involved.

I could fell the old, white rich men leering at me despite the layers of silk and tulle. Nobody was commenting on my champagne intake so I downed one after the other until I had a comfortable buzz going on. I could absolutely see why female scientists became either reclusive or brash.

Bruce's eyes followed me wherever I went. I had encountered some people I vaguely knew from all the socialite events I had to attend with my mother, so it wasn't as if I was a fish out of the water; it's just that every time I strayed further than ten feet from out group, I instantly grew a tail in the form of one of the Avengers.

"Sam, quit being creepy," I exited the ladies room, immediately spying the handsome man just 'casually' hanging out by a potted plant, glued to his smartphone and pretending to be very busy.

He looked up guiltily, shutting down Minesweeper and pocketing the phone. "Not taking any risks this time 'round, Princess," He offered me his arm, leading us back to our table. "Tony would have my head."

I rolled my eyes, falling into the chair next to Stephen. "My tracker implant is still in and the bracelets Natasha loaned me are actually tasers. Bird, chill," My hand snuck under the tablecloth, blindly groping for Stephen's hand. It didn't take much time for him to respond, cradling my smaller palm in his larger one, offering the small comfort with a tiny tilt to his lips. Both my large skirt and the fabric covering the table aided the secrecy; I felt like a middle schooler sneaking a kiss from my first crush behind the bleachers.

Coupled with the bubbles in my champagne, it made me giddy.

"Sam is just being careful, Princess," Stephen rumbled patiently. "This ball will be over soon."

I snorted, "But Stephen, I love balls," Causing the whole table erupt in bashful snickers.

"Yeah, think to me about it," Wanda downed the remnants of her wine glass, eyes wide, looking to the side. The giggling became a full belly-laugh as I didn't have the decency to play coy. I just smirked because, yeah, I did love me some...

The final hour dragged on forever. My feet hurt from the dancing. I had my suspicions that time would pass faster if I actually move around so I didn't waste the chance and cajoled Bruce into several slow dances with me. The energy between us was electric; I hoped my wife eyes and the red crawling up his neck would be attributed to alcohol. We spoke in hushed tones, about nothing in particular, the words being like sticks we threw into our fire.

Tony wasn't around much, way too busy to do much more than stop by our table every now and then. I both envied and admired him; he handled everything with grace and serendipity. Tony was right there next to Thor and Loki - literal royalty - and I had to pinch myself to prevent myself from ogling him, sighing in lovesickness every goddamn minute.

"If you ever stop looking at him like that, I don't think he'll survive," Stephen's tone was cheeky; his eyes were intense as he looked down at me as we danced. My sorcerer was rarely sappy, but when he found the words to describe his feelings... It was serious.

I met his eyes slowly, letting him soak in the very same admiration and awe I felt when I was with him. I felt his shudder, I heard the hitch in his breath. He wasn't jealous, no, he simply observed. I wanted him to see what I saw. "The day that I stop looking at you all like that is the day that I need to get my head screwed on straight." I wasn't a poet but neither was this a romance novel. "As far as I'm concerned, I won the lottery, the grand prize and the fucking life."

He chuckled. "You have way too much faith in us, Princess," Twirling me as to avoid the out of habit embrace.

Did I, though? I was inclined to disagree. Sure, we had our spits and arguments and sometimes Stephen would stick his cold ass feet under my blankets, Bruce's love for curry was a crime against anyone who slept in the same room as he and Tony routinely flirted with everyone and everything that had a pulse. I had days where my mother's temper surfaced.

Sometimes, one of us would inadvertently hog the other person and the remaining two would pout, roll their eyes or pitch a fit.

I just didn't see it as a big deal. All of those parts were normal - what couldn't be said about the rest of our situation. Compared to couples I've seen around, I thought we're happy. My boyfriends seemed to be happy, too, and if they weren't, it usually was pretty obvious.

So - okay, perhaps we definitely should be working on verbalizing our feelings. That would definitely solve if not world hunger, then at least the world war three that occasionally erupted in Tony's penthouse. And the ups and downs - not the steep kind, but ones not too different from waves rolling ashore - was what held us together. Because, well, our world was hectic and fast-paced and sometimes we needed that gentle rocking motion to sway us back to peace.

Tony's arm on my waist pulled me back to reality, steering me towards the balcony. Bruce and Stephen followed, all four of us power-walking through the inebriated crowd.

"Just so you know, I'm on board with whatever crazy shit you're planning," Stephen raised a palm towards a smirking Tony.

His mouth immediately dropped into a pout I could barely resist kissing. "But... I had a whole speech prepared," The engineer retorted indignantly, discreetly attempting to swat the sorcerer on the ass.

"And I'm sure it was amazing, honey," Bruce placated the upset Tony with a laugh, causing the latter to intensify his pout, eyeing us with mirth over the rim of his glasses, his stupid, lovely face more kissable than ever.

@another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias @warrior1-19 @toomanyrobins

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

Yeah the Loki finale was meh/disappointing it doesn’t even feel like a Loki show anymore. I swear you could swap him with another character and the story would barely change.

Hi, anon! I'll put thoughts under a cut since idk who all has seen the Loki show yet.

Tbh, Loki is my favorite character from the MCU. I have waited for YEARS for this character to have an actual spotlight...

And I really wanted to like this show, I really did. Like, I legit wanted to just turn off my brain and enjoy everything?

But yeah, your message resonates with me. There were things I liked about the show, but once I got over the cool CGI and angst and female gaze, it just...feels like Loki got sidelined in his own story? The focus hadn't been about him specifically since episode 1. It instead shifted to Sylvie, who is different enough from Loki that she might as well have been Hawkeye still on his Endgame rampage for justice. And it was Sylvie's problems and Sylvie's motivations that drove the story. Which, you know, were interesting in their own way but not what I was expecting from a Loki show. A lot of scenes were just Sylvie running around and Loki somewhat helplessly following along in a daze that this is what his life has become. He was just ultimately a very passive character in someone else's story...because as the finale clearly showed, his core issues that needed to be worked out weren't in alignment with her own.

So it's sad to me that the show opened up by saying that Loki's destiny was always to function as a dead-end catalyst for other people's character development/journeys. And in the end, that's...exactly what Loki became for all the other characters in this show. ;A; And I'm not sure what they have going on for s2, but I fear he'll just play second-fiddle to Dr. Strange at this point.

I have other issues with the show as well....

___

I felt like they also massively declawed him? Ignoring the comics entirely (where he's even more badass) and looking just at the movies: He survived a Hulk smack-down, could toss humans like they were nothing, could travel between worlds through a variety of means, could already see into people's minds/memories and cast illusions and even change his form, and yet somehow all of this got retconned to make him a less powerful sorcerer compared to his Variants.

I remember this guy being actually dangerous and physically capable, which is why they locked him up. Loki used to have Avenger-level capabilities and strength. But now, he can't hardly fight off a human, and his defense skills are relegated to basic hand-to-hand combat and a dagger. The show even makes fun of his abilities and calls him a pussycat and turns him into a tie-wearing analyst...But I suppose that's in line with the general downgrade of his abilities in recent MCU movies...

___

And if being a sidekick in his own show and having his abilities retconned wasn't enough, I feel like the show failed to convince me that it really understood and is working to grow Loki's character.

The underlying issue that the show calls out as Loki's ultimate weakness is that he's "afraid of being alone," and that this feeds a narcissism complex. But this doesn't really make sense to me? Because he didn't grow up alone or unwanted. He had a mother (Frigga) who loved him deeply and taught him magic. He clearly made it into adulthood believing that Odin was his father, who certainly wasn't absent. He was always on adventures with his brother. He had clearly tried to build a reputation for himself that was differentiated from his brother's (the Silvertongue). This goes against how narcissists don't really have a personality of their own because they just absorb other people's mannerisms to fit in...So like, idk about parsing out the details of narcissism as a clinical diagnosis because I'm not a psychologist, but something feels a little odd here to me? Like, it's more than just...fear of being alone that drives Loki to be destructive? The loneliness is only a symptom??

The problem based off the early movies, providing that I'm not entirely an idiot in listening (which I suppose I could be), was that he was always in Thor's shadow and was never considered an equal, someone worthy of respect despite their differences. Even in the 2009 movie, his peers belittled his title as a Silvertongue and his love for magic. Discovering that he was actually an unwanted frost giant just twisted that knife in deeper and set him on a self-destruct path, once and for all. And it's really interesting to me that throughout this show, people are still constantly trying to establish themselves as alpha over Loki and make jabs about him as worthless and weak. And he's just desperate enough for validation to still try bonding with them the instant anyone tosses a bone of mild curiosity at him.

The fact that he's still positioned as less valuable and less respected than Sylvie, and that even Sylvie herself ultimately usurps equality in their relationship/partnership to enforce her will is just...depressing.

And for all this discussion about Loki changing/redeeming himself, at the end of the day, his perspective hasn't really changed? He still identifies himself as untrustworthy, even though he careens as a desperate lap dog for Mobius' approval and then Sylvie's once she gives him an ounce of attention. He has difficulty with accepting the value of a life, especially in regard to his own life. For example, he was still willing to consider upholding the death of future untold numbers via pruning despite being such a victim himself. And that's not a slam to his worry about a worse alternative, which is probably valid, but it's still weird that he does not believe he could contribute to a powerful resistance group capable of taking out multiple variations of one human man.

It's even weirder that he still seems to be caught in a tailspin regarding "necessary dictatorship," even though Loki is supposed to be a Silvertongue and could have won He Who Remains over as an ally against the other Variants of He Who Remains, thereby dismantling the TVA and freeing the multiverse. But unfortunately, he still can't see beyond two binary roads (mass chaos vs. subjugation). He has totally lost his confidence and identity as a Silvertongue. He can't see an alternative option despite supposedly being a Master Strategist, and that's echoed in how his initial thought to defeat Alioth was to kill it in a very Thor-ish, Asgardian way.

And because he has accepted the show's narrative that he is not capable or worthy of respect for his own unique talents, he openly just..accepts the concept that he's not meant to mean anything to anyone but himself ("I just want you to be okay") or do actually anything meaningful with his abilities. This probably underscores why he is so incapable of using his full powers for a Chaotic Good.

And for one final jab of hopelessness, the show immediately reverses the one (1) other mildly positive relationship he had just started to build via Mobius, solidifying that once again, Loki is not allowed to have friends. Loki is not allowed to have equals. Loki is not allowed to be respected. Which is probably why even when he's surrounded by other people, that's why he still feels alone.

I'm just sort of dead that for all the time the show spent on diagnosing Loki, it never got deep enough to ask why he feels alone.

Conclusion

So idk, the show just kinda depressed me tbh. I don't want to be this critical??? They have really great actors, interesting concepts, and clearly a strong CGI department. Again, not sure I could do better, so I recognize I'm playing armchair critic here. Maybe it'll get better in s2. I really want this show to prove me wrong and move Loki into a level of character development where he can like, actually have purpose in his own title show beyond serving as second-fiddle to other people in other people's self-discovery journeys.

Like please, just let him realize that he can have a positive, meaningful purpose. And that whatever his purpose is, that he is Enough just as he is, and that he can contribute meaningful things to others and be fully worthy of respect. And I think once that clicks with Loki, we'll see him really grow into something phenomenal. Something truly formidable, even if that character doesn't sit on a throne....

It's possible the show could go there? But I'm just a little leery that it's not really a show about Loki....

[fakeloveaskblog]

aw, sweet loceit in the evening sun. logan is actually super good at explaining healthy relationships and boundaries and stuff actually, i betcha he could recognize abuse no problem

…aye remy! REMY!! HAve you thought about going to that gay bar more often? who knows, maybe you'll encounter someone nice, make friends with like-minded people, hear some disco, the full nine yards. janus might be there, remus might be there. (just look around for the guy with the blue tie, he's a great guy, if he's not wearing it he'll look like he has that blue tie kinda energy! you could totally just get drunk and unload your grievances on him and i bet he won't even mind!)

(Mentions of U!Virgil but I say beforehand when that happens so those who don’t like U!Virgil can enjoy the rest of the fic up until then)

(Words: 4100)

Remy wiped away a tear while looking at your message. The cold light from their phone was the only thing brightening up the room. Virgil was sleeping beside them, his arm was laid around their waist.

"You just like tots gave me the greatest idea! I'm gonna invite Rem out to the bar! It's gonna the funnest thing like ever! Thanks girl!!"

--

2 days later Remus was dangerously close to eating the moss straight from the gay bar's wall. He had been left without supervision for over 15 minutes while he sat outside waiting for his friend to show up, what else was he supposed to do?!

"SSSSUUUP BABE!!!"

Remy came towards him as fast as they could. They had on a short leather skirt, a neon mesh crop top and a leather jacket over it.

They did a little turn "I just like felt a bit glamorous today!" 

Remus choked on his own spit "The world must be a dark place when you aren't feeling glamorous"

"Awwww babbbe"

He sent them a big grin. He'd just put on his usual oversized dysphoria hoodie and matching oversized (:O) sweatpants.

Remus' smile disappeared in an instant as he noticed dark bruises all around Remy's neck. Shades of purple and green collided against each other.

"Ehm did a vampire come and attack you last night? Seriously are you alri-"

"JUst a reminder that it will be loud in there" Remy interrupted.

"Oh. Right!"

He fumbled around in his bag after his headphones. After putting it and a chew necklace on he did a thumbs up. Remy took off their sunglasses and leaned down so they were face to face.

Their face was so close he could feel their breathe against his lips. They put the sunglasses onto him and sent him a soft smile.

“There’s like lots of bright lights too” They explained.

Remus’ heart fluttered. He didn’t understand why “T-thanks”

They moved their arm around his shoulders as they went into the bar. It was past 12 am so some of the daytime furniture had been moved to make place for a dancefloor. There was indeed lots of neon lights flickering all around the bar and fast pop music was blasting through the speakers.

It was hard to see any details of anyone around him so Remus quickly forgot about the bruise. In this lighting it just looked like a weird choker anyway.

A guy with a see through shirt bumped into Remus. He had top surgery scars. For a moment they looked at each other in the most knowing way. The stranger looked away and continued talking with whoever he was with.

Remus whole body seemed to vibrate. There were so many butterflies in his stomach it felt like he was going to puke, in a good way.

Remy sat him down on one of the tall barstools and slumped down right next to him “So whatcha gonna drink?”

“The squashed down organs of my enemies!!!” He shrugged “Soda?”

They burst out into laughter “What? You catholic or something? Not allowed to drink alcohol?”

He slumped in on himself and started fiddling with his necklace “I-I dunno-”

“No. No babe I was just like joking. Like a stupid bitch. It’s okay” They waved at the waiter “Your most alcoholic fruit mix and your finest coca cola please!”

Remus leaned in to whisper “With salt”

“With salt? Please!”

He kept vibrating like an overexcited weasel. After getting their drinks he kept tapping the glass to stim some of the happiness out.

“Honestly I’ve never been to a gay bar before. I’m digging it. Just like how I’m digging graves”

They playfully hit his shoulder “Then I’m tots gonna try my best to make this the  ultimate first gay bar experience! I can’t think of any other lil fucked up gremlin buddy I would wanna have by my side!”

"Muhahah!! I am officially assigned ultimate gremlin buddy-”

“Greetings” A voice suddenly came from behind them.

Both of them flinched away. Remy let out a short yell and Remus was close to throwing his drink in the person’s face when he saw it was just Logan.

He had on jeans and a black button up with the top button unbottoned. He had with him iced coffee from starbucks because he had to drive home later.

“LOGIE!!!” Remy threw their arms around his neck to pull him closer “Babe this is the Log-legend. Once he was like sooo drunk so when he like tried to kiss me puked on my shoes instead!”

Logan grimaced “I am still very sorry about that”

“Oh I already know him through Janus” Remus replied. 

“Oh my gawd babe” Remy looked between them all “So like we all know Janny?! Wig! Sad he isn’t here then”

Remus held up his cola “Cheers to J-anus!” The other two held up their glasses in agreement.

“Cheers”

“Cheerio!”

“He is very pretty and charming and cute” Logan dreamily sighed. He stopped himself from continuing to say compliments.

“Yeah” The other two sighed back in unison.

Logan sat down on a chair next to them. Remy looked around the bar before squinting at him “No Patty?”

He instantly started looking like a Very sad seal “Sadly my wife is away on a convention with her magical girl anime fanclub this whole week. I estimated that going to the bar would make me feel less lonely”

“You have a WIFe??? Like a real one???” Remus exclaimed, his eyeballs were close to popping out from surprise.

“Yes. This may be a controversial opinion but when I marry someone I prefer them to be physically real” He replied druly.

He got a smug grin on his lips “Does she peg you?”

“She does far more than just peg me”

“Nice!” His eyes went even wider “IS That a stim toy??!”

He pointed at the tangle Logan kept between his fingers “Correct. If I do not have something to relieve my focus onto I can easily go into senso- OH a chewie?”

Remus nodded while showing of his chew necklace. The two of them started rambling about their favorite stim toy. Until they went off into special interests (star trek/astronomy and art/animal biology respectively).

Soon enough Remus was showing pictures of the animal bones he’d found. Logan ooeh and ahhed at all of them before asking the most nerdy of questions (where he’d found them, their bone density, if any damage had been done to them) which only made Rem infodump which made Lo infodump which made them both happy stim.

Meanwhile Remy sat beside them completely zoned out. They got time to drink 2 more of those fruit mixes and a few shots. The room was starting to spin.

The loud music wasn’t keeping out the yelling. They dunked their forehead against the bar table and covered their ears to try and get it out. The music was supposed to keep it out! Why was nothing working! The bruise ached. Their throat closed in on itself until they couldn’t breathe. 

“Remus” They gasped out. They looked over to their friend with a desperate look in their eyes. They just needed a distraction.

“So my theory for why you keep finding bones in specifically that part of the woods is because of the kind of dirt making it take longer for them to deco-” Logan was explaining while Remus nodded along.

“Rem! L-let’s like go up and dance or something. Please” 

This time it caught Remus’ attention. He looked over to them “Sure- are you feeling alright? Did you drink too much? You’re looking like a mummy”

“Yes. No. I just like- Like- They’re playing Charli xcx of course we gotta like dance!!”

“I will protect your belongings then” Logan added.

Remy stumbled up on shaky legs. Remus sent them a warm smile that made them want to cry before taking their hand. He let them lead him out to the dancefloor. Honestly he was pretty nervous about it, but being with them always made some of the anxiety melt away.

They stumbled on their own feet and fell forward. Their friend took ahold of their wrists and pulled them close to his chest. Their faces were so close to each other. So so close.

He didn’t let go. They couldn't remember him ever letting them hold him this close. Their chests pressed against each other. Their arms around his shoulders. His hands on their back. 

"You’re right. It is a good song. Good to crash a car too" Remus said absentmindedly.

Remy let up into shaky giggles from how sudden he’d said it “Yeah. Yeah I guess” 

They kept giggling. He chuckled back. He started spinning around on the dancefloor. They moved with him. His arms wrapped closer around their waist. Their cheek leaned against the slope of his neck (even though they had to lean down to get on his height level).

Remy quietly sang along to the music which made Remus start yelling along to it. The enby threw their head back from laughter. They took his hand and intertwined their fingers.

Remus moved his hand out and spun them around before pulling them close again. Their cheeks were flushed red, his was as well. He playfully dipped them down when the song ended.

It continued on into a song neither of them knew but they kept dancing anyway. They didn’t stay as pressed close to each other but they always had some contact. Holding hands. An arm around a waist. A head leaning against a chest.

When they finally got back to the bar table they were both panting. Remy was completely leaning on Remus since their body had started to hurt, but even through the pain they were both bubbling over with so much happiness they kept breaking out into bouts of giggling.

To their surprise Logan wasn’t sitting alone. A tall person with long dark hair sat on the chair beside him. Xir hand was on his thigh. The nerd had a soft smile on his face as they leant close to talk.

“Uh Lo?” Remus had to wave his arms around to get his attention.

His head shot around to look at them “Hello” He glanced to the person “These are the ones I was protecting belongings for” He stood up and held out his hand “Shall we?” Xir took it. Logan waved at his friends before going off to the dancefloor with the stranger.

“Huh. Good for him” 

“I guess”

Remy ordered another high alcohol fruit mix. Remus happily chewed on his necklace while humming along to the music. Between their chairs their hands hang with their fingers intertwined. Holding their hand had started to make Remus feel all funny in the head for some reason.

The enby watched on as Logan and the stranger danced for a bit before moving to a corner to make out. When the stranger started to lead him towards the bar’s bathrooms Remy turned to their friend.

“Yeah okay he’s not coming back for like a while. Smoke break?”

“Of course!”

They finished their drink before leaving the bar. The pair stopped right outside. Remus sat down on the side of the pavement. Remy tried to sit down but they stumbled over themself and fell flat on the ground.

Remus got up to help “Are you okay? Are you sure you haven’t drank too much?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine” They laughed out.

He sat them down on the pavement while dusting off their clothes. He patted them on the head while pouting “You should get some water”

“Naaaah babe. I’m good”

In the moonlight the bruise was visible again. That horrible dark purple bruise around their neck. It looked like it hurt.

Remus put his hand on their shoulder “Beanie are you alright? I do know it wasn’t some halloween monster that got you that bruise”

For a moment their whole body tensed, they forced a smile “It’s fine. me and my boyf just tried like some new kinky shit in the bedroom y’know. Nothing more” They lied.

They took out a cigarette pack and a lighter from their bag. They traced their thumb over Remus’ lower lip and opened his mouth just slightly. Remy leaned closer while putting a cigerette between his lips. They lit it.

Remus took a deep breathe. It’d been a while since he’d last smoked. He leaned so close the cigarette nearly touched Remy’s skin. They parced their lips as he breathed out the smoke right into their mouth.

A smile spread on their lips. He held the cigarette over to them but they shook their head. They looked around in their bag again and took out a small poppers bottle.

“Should you really take that. Won’t your brain melt out of your ears?” Remus asked “I really don’t wanna have to slorp up your brain juice...yet”

“Relax babe. It’s like not dangerous as long as I don’t like take too much and I only take when partying” It took a moment before they quietly added “And I only party when I need to get out of the apartement”

“What?”

They forced on a bigger smile “What?”

Remy moved the popper up to their nose and inhaled as much of it as they could. It took a few seconds before they let up into a giggle. It was in a higher tone than their usual bubbly laugh, it almost sounded like cackling. They could see stars.

(U!Virgil mentions from here on out)

“Y’know my boyfriend gave me like a flashback or whatever last night” They giggled while swaying from side to side.

Remus gently grabbed their shoulders and moved them to lean against him so they wouldn’t fall over “Uhu. Did you stab him?”

“No silly. He just. He’d been soooo sweet all weeek and I just I just ruined it ‘cause i like overeacted to some joke he made while like we were washing the dishes” They were barely even aware they were speaking “And like it just kept going until we were like screaming at each other”

Remy was still smiling and giggling between every word but tears started to form in their eyes. Their fingers felt numb. Bile was rising in their throat.

“And he just like threw the plate he was holding down on the ground. And it like didn’t hit me. He wasn’t even aiming at me. He was just throwing it at the ground. But it shattered and it was so stupid and overemotional and stupid and pathetic but I just I just curled up on the floor and like had a panic attack like a stupid baby”

They smeared their hand across their face to try and get the tears away. They felt sick. Remus quickly put out his cigarette, it didn’t feel like the right time to smoke.

“And I just like- Is that normal? Is that fine? Like throwing stutff like that? I-I- he’s never done it before. Or I mean like not plates” They looked up at Remus “Is it fine?”

He gulped while fiddling with his hoodie sleeve “Well uh did he apologize?”

“Mhmm. He like- like for some minutes he like kept yelling ‘cause he thought I was just like faking a panic attack to like I dunno manipulate him but then he like comforted me and like calmed me down and like held me and cuddled all night until I fell asleep and- and he said sorry a bunch of times and like he said it would never happen again. He uh usually doesn’t lie”

“Well ehm then it should be fine right? Right?” They both shrugged at each other “I mean everyone can make mistakes! And it was during an argument! Everyone does drastic things during an arguments! So it’s fine. I think”

A shaking breathe of relief left Remy’s lips. They stretched themself over his lap and he moved his arms around them. “Thanks babe. I was like tots worried for a bit but y’know i was thinking like that too. So it’s fine”

“Yeah” He combed his fingers through their hair “You do know you can vent to me whenever right? I promise I won’t gross you out with details about how to pull out rabbit teeth ever again so if I can hold that back then I can also listen to stuff! I can super listen!!”

They closed their eyes. They felt so tired. So tired and sick and horrible. “Mhm. I know babe. I know”

Remy sent him a soft smile before suddenly puking. Some of it came on his pants but mostly on the ground. Remus stood up and carefully moved them down to a sitting position.

He rubbed up and down their back with one hand and held their hair back with his other. Their shoulders were shaking and they were taking in shallow breathes between every sudden throw up.

“It’s okay beanie-boo. Breathe. Breathe. You got all the time in the world. Until the sun blows up at least”

“I-I took- too much- too much” They slurred out before lurching forward again. It seemed to stop for now.

“I’m aware” He carefully wiped away some of the puke left around their mouth with his hoodie sleeve.

They leaned back against his chest. They closed their eyes and focused on breathing. He held them so so gently. As if they would break like glass otherwise. He pressed a kiss to the top of their head.

“There you are!” Logan said as came through the bar entrance “What a relief. I assumed you had left without me because you thought my actions were unacceptable” He noticed how pale and shaky Remy looked and got a worried look on his face “Is everything alright?”

“They feel like someone has slammed a fish into their stomach. Not good” Remus replied.

“I see. I suppose it woud be best to get them home”

Logan picked Remy up with ease to carry them to his car. He was quite sure he’d carried dogs that weighted more than them. Remus anxiously followed along.

He sat them in the passenger seat. He shook their shoulders until they opened their eyes. They let out a quiet whine.

He held up 4 fingers “Remy how many fingers am I holding up?”

“Fuck yourself”

“Noted”

They moved to the side and seemed to pass out again. Logan closed the door before turning to Remus.

“Did they take anything?” He whispered.

“Only a popper”

“Good. Do you need a ri-”

“Bus”

“Okay” Logan was about to go but stopped midstep and lowered his voice even more “Oh and Rem...Could you please not ask Janus to hang out next weekend? I am planning a surprise...I hope it will make him happy”

“Good luck comrade....Please text me once Remy is home safe. Please?”

“Of course”

He did a little nod before leaving. Logan got into the car. He couldn’t stop looking at the bruise around their neck. Remy continued to sleep for most of the ride until they they were 5 minutes or so away from their apartment. They suddenly flinched awake.

“Stop the car!” They gasped out. 

“Are you still feeling the same?”

“Logan stop the fucking car!” There was fear in their eyes. 

Logan stopped by the side of the road. The road was barren and dark. It had to be past 3 am at least. Remy crawled back into the backseats while their whole body shook.

“Don’t. Look. At. Me”

“Sure” He stared down into the steering wheel to not accidentally see their reflection in the glass.

“I just. I just have to change clothes. I just. I don’t want Virigl to call me a whore again. I mean. He won’t. But what if. What if he gets mad. I just. I just have to change” They slurred out.

They stumbled out of the car after changing into a pair of long pants and closing their leather jacket. A cold chill went up Logan’s spine. He quickly stepped out of the car as well.

“Okay bye bye Logie!!”

They tried to move but Logan grabbed onto their shoulders. He forced back a choking feeling in his throat “What do you mean by your boyfriend getting mad?”

“Pff! It’s nothing! I’m drunk!! Byyyeeeeee”

They started to stumble away but Logan easily followed along “It did not sound like he called you a whor-...you know what...with your consent. I am simply going to remind you that calling a partner things like that is not okay. Not in any circumstance”

Remy’s expression turned cold. They walked faster “I don’t like what you’re implying”

“I’m not implying anything”

“Yes you Fucking are!”

“Exscuse me for being worried about your wellbeing. What you just said sounded like a very bad sign”

“Yeah exactly it only SOUnded bad! My boyfriend isn’t bad!” Remy snarled out.

“I am not saying he is. He doesn’t have to be bad to say awful things, as long as he changes”

They shoved their hands into their pockets. Their hands moved into fists “You don’t know a fucking thing about me. You tried to kiss me once when you were drunk and that’s all. We don’t know each other”

Logan took a deep breathe “I don’t need to know you to see red flags. Remy-” He searched for words “Remy you’re bruised. How- you can’t expect me to not get worried”

Remy suddenly stopped and turned around to meet his eyes. “MY BOYFRIEND ISN’T ABUSIVE! I-”

“I’m not necessarily saying he is. I just wan’t to talk-” His voice started to sound desperate.

They looked like a cornered animal. Tears were brimming at the edges of their eyes “YOU DON’T KNOW A THING!”

“Remy-”

“I DID THIS TO MYSELF!” Their hand went up to the bruise “I DESERVED IT! VIRGIL DIDN’T DO A FUCKING THING! I DID! I TOOK A BELT AND HURT MYSELF! OKAY?! VIRGIL CARES ABOUT ME!”

He tried to sound soothing “Remy please take a deep breathe-”

“NO! NO! YOU KNOW WHAT LOGAN?! THERE IS STILL CUM ON YOUR FUCKING LIPS FROM YOU SUCKING OFF SOME STRANGER IN A DIRTY BATHROOM! SO NO! I AM NOT TAKING LOVE ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO IS CHEATING ON HIS GODDAMN WIFE!”

They stormed away. For a moment Logan was frozen in place before he forced himself to run after them to try and make sure they would be okay.

“I am not-”

Remy looked at him for one last time. The look in their eyes made him feel cold. It was pure hatred.

“Logan get the fuck away from me! I am drunk and high and alone on a street with no one but you who is sure as hell fucking stronger than me and all you’re doing is spouting bullshit! So please get why I want you to leave. And why I don’t ever want you to talk to me again!”

He stopped dead in his tracks “...Right....Yes....I am so sorry”

Remy didn’t even respond. They simply turned and walked away. Logan stayed and watched to make sure they got home to the apartment safe before going back to his car.

He slumped down in the seat. His heart was racing and his thoughts were for once an illogical flurry. He sat motionless for several minutes before finally getting some semblence of an idea.

He took out his phone and dialed one of his usual numbers. It took several signals before Emile Picani picked up.

“Mhm? Logie bear? I can’t today I have clients in the morning” He yawned out.

“This is about one of your patients. I am fearing that they are in danger”

In an instant all of the sleepyness in Emile’s voice disappeared “In danger? Physical? Is it urgent? Do I need to call someone? Which patient are you even referring to?”

Logan hesitated. If Remy had reacted that strongly to him just attempting to ask about his boyfriend it was very likely that they would stop going to therapy if Emile brought it up. His throat tightened, he didn’t want to put them in any more danger.

“I....Nevermind Emile....This was just a far too gone joke...Someone dared me to call you. I am sorry. Have a good night”

He ended the call. He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel and let out a long sigh. His hands held onto the wheel so hard his knuckles whitened.

Logan had no idea what to do. No idea at all. All he knew was fear. Fear for Remy’s safety. Fear for their well being. Fear that anything he did would only make their situation worse.