Tumgik
#<- (those mostly for me to find this again lmao)
Note
Questioning NPD, and already prof. dx'd autism and OCD culture is (lengthy and vent-ish, but not really with the latter):
📌 Carefully orchestrating this whole ask.
📌 Thinking every day about how much criteria you meet. **It's nearly all of it**, but you're still unsure if the things you've been prev. dx'd with would cancel it out or not.
📌 Stigma and misconceptions making you second-guess yourself.
📌 "-But I don't constantly or overtly seek attention/admiration..." Though I DO desire it, fantasize about seeking it, and get upset or disappointed when I don't receive what I'd like/had expected (when I do so). I'll think about it for a bit and feel a mild (?) sense of entitlement, then scoff "whatever" in my head.
I'm also afraid of people thinking I'm pathetic if I try too hard, so that's why I don't.
📌 ^ Comparing your competence in something afterwards, then being like "🤔🧙‍♂️😏" (silly ass emojis ik) when you notice that you're better or on par with whatever someone/everyone else has presented.
📌 ^ Moral OCD kicks in not long afterwards. I'll be writing a book if I elaborate.
📌 Struggling to find resources on covert presentations of NPD besides "10 signs of a covert narcissist" (it's mostly emotional abuse shit) or "the covert narcissistic mother." 🫠 Like bro please.
📌 Being afraid that by claiming you have "narcissistic traits/tendencies" and potentially learning it's all something different later that you'll seem like a fool (I feel like there's irony in this).
📌 "What if it's just C-PTSD?" (Also questioning) + "What if I suspect what could be C-PTSD is just my OCD and *some trauma.*" The fear of seeming like a fool to people (generally and those you'd seek help from) 2x.
📌 "I'm also aware of how my actions affect others sometimes, and I'm pretty self aware..."
I KNOW it's a misconception/overgeneralization that narcs 'can't have empathy' (also dude how do you think I manage how others potentially perceive me lol). I ALSO KNOW that self-aware narcs exist (like on here, hello...), but man...
A therapist once told me that I seemed too self-aware to be one as the 3 (yes) previous people they had experience with "typically only came in due to other problems like depression or perceiving others having 'the issue,' then were later diagnosed."
Self-doubt plus a lack of resources is a Bitch...
📌 That same one also used Donald Trump as an example of a narc (not that I'd disagree since I've read a bit of that one book about his family that was made by.. I think his Niece? Who's a clinical psych, but lmao...), wasn't aware of certain terms I'd bring up, and would accidentally skip questions (brought a pocket diagnostic manual with me, so I knew).
They were nice, but it made me go "hmm I think I'm more competent." Fear of being 'an arrogant fool' with that one (esp. as they've gone through schooling and I haven't.... *Yet* 😏), but seriously. Makes me teeter between whether I should just go with self diagnosis or seek out a more qualified professional (realized that one didn't specialize in pds besides BPD, so..) whenever I'm more prepared (both bringing up that fear again).
📌 OH AND BEING ASKED "Do you exploit others?..." with a waiting stare. Maybe others have no problem admitting that or other unpleasant things, BUT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANNA SAY THAT!!! 😭 (I actually don't - at least not harmfully or often? But still).
📌 Obsessing/having intrusive memories and thoughts about people who've rejected you, left you out, did relational bullying, and/or perceived you as somehow 'less than' and were condescending towards you. Fantasizing about either winning their approval (more of a younger me thing) or overpowering them; either directly proving them wrong/that you've actually been better than them/putting them in their place or becoming famous for something unique/grand. ALL for **Years** and it sucks because it's likely that I barely exist in their minds, and I've yet to move on.
I've yet to heal/grow from this internalized shame and whatnot in full (plus there's more I could add into it like familial shit, the compassion/thoughtfulness I've had for those people despite what I've mentioned above - like ik they've had their own issues, etc.) I mean, I have been doing better... I've noticed my own growth, but it's been a painfully slow process.
📌 My mom being like "*you're not like your dad!!*" when I talk to her about narc stuff; further feeding my self-doubt/questioning. Also yeah it's likely that my paternal side has tendencies and that my dad has NPD. Way more than me actually LOL (plus I also likely get the OCD from his side, but y'know... Lots of them are old, they're Latinos, and idk what's up w my cousins since I rarely talk to them).
- Uhhhhh can I please claim 🌀🪄?
.
20 notes · View notes
Text
40 notes · View notes
drewsaturday · 3 months
Text
obviously different people say different things and you can support something existing while still complaining about things not being to your taste as long as you don't comment it on actual creationssss
but sometimes it does get mentally chaotic seeing posts saying you should be allowed to write whatever you want and bad art is okay etc etc and then i scroll down a little more to see people having incredibly high expectations for things that people make for fun and for free in fandom spaces and it's like...
i think there is a gap between seeing our tumblr peers tm as people and creatives having fun, but ourselves as consumers expecting perfect content. you are demanding perfection from those same people you claim to want to support.
???
#txt#i really wish fanfic dot net weren't dying because lowkey.#although the etiquette over there is abysmal i kinda feel like the expectations for fics posted to ao3 is weirdly high#obviously i have my own personal standards but it really does get on my nerves sometimes#to see such a clash between 'uwu two cakes theory!!!' posting and then 'god this trope in fic/this art style/this vidding style#etc etc is sooooo annoying/tired/overdone/bad/ETC'#again it's not always from the same people and we do contain multitudes or whatever i am sure im hypocritical too and#there are things that do deserve discussion and you can have your own preferences as long as you don't make it a creator's problem#and to be okay posting the things you make publicly anywhere you need to understand there#will be people coming at it from both angles i am just#mostly confused about how prevalent those clashy mindsets are within the same spheres i guess#support creators and reblog things etc but only if they're not being cringe haha#and what is cringe changes depending on the month instead of being grateful people are making things at all#as usual i need to remove myself from caring and start creating things#rather than scrolling through so much of these discussions i forget that oh right making things#is supposed to be fun actually and that's what outweighs those negatives#but alas i am here#making nothing and wishing fandom felt more like a community the way it used to for me#instead of finding ways to cultivate that myself lmao#at least having minimal free time excludes me from the content mill grind for now : )
2 notes · View notes
airenyah · 8 months
Note
Hi, fellow ace enjoyer of JoongDunk here! I'm also nearer to the sex-repulsed end of the spectrum yet wanting to see JD in something saucier! Kiss scenes generally gross me out, but for some reason, I can watch Joong and Dunk kiss just fine. They're like the ship equivalent of a cheat day — a Cheat(?) Ship.
omg hiiiii, high five ✋ glad i'm not the only one hahaha
personally, kiss scenes in media generally don't bother me or gross me out, in fact, often i like them even! but if it's like a (heavy) make-out scene, those often kinda just bore me, especially if they go on for a long time. i might just end up sitting there like "aight i got it, they're slobbering all over each other. now can we move on with the plot, please?"
that being said, i have watched and rewatched the end of hidden agenda ep8 multiple time already! there's something about it that i really like but i can't put my finger on what exactly it is. part of the reason why i've rewatched it a couple of times was to figure out what exactly about it it is that i like so much, but i just don't have an answer. idk, maybe it's just the vibes 🙌
though i feel like sometimes the reason why kiss scenes bore me might also just be a problem of the acting. and that actually includes some of the hidden agenda kisses...
for example the first kiss scene from ep4? i really like that scene up until the moment they start kissing. like, they're just kissing for a while and absolutely nothing changes?? the tension and the emotions, the urgency, all of it just stays the same for the entire time. i can't even pinpoint what the characters are thinking or feeling in that moment, which is quite a shame considering this is their very first kiss, aka a very significant kiss. we've got zo who is in the middle of trying to figure out his feelings (i wanna know: how does he feel about the kiss? is he into it? is he nervous? is he having a realization? does he start to regret it while still in the middle of kissing? all of the above? WHAT is going on in his head, show me!!) and joke who is being kissed by the person he's been crushing on for a while now (again, i wanna know: how does he feel about the kiss? is he excited that what he's been dreaming about is finally happening? is he nervous? is he maybe not entirely happy with it since zo's feelings are unclear? all of the above? again, WHAT is going on in his head, show me!!). and i'm just not getting much out of it apart from the fact that "yay they're having their first kiss". now compare that with the ep8 [4/4] kiss scene that starts out slow and soft and tentative almost and then goes up in tension to then slow down again and keeps being broken up by dialogue. idk i just think it's neat. or also the ep7 yank kiss yeet scene!! there's so much urgency behind that kiss, it feels like it really matters. i love it!!!!
actually i have a similar problem with bad buddy. idk if you've seen it (if not, feel free to skip this paragraph), but the ep11 kiss at the beach is just so boring. they do get a little faster when they go back to kissing after they separated for a moment but there's aboslutely no urgency behind it and that just results in the opposite effect of making me feel like the characters want to be doing this, that it matters to them. it just doesn't feel like that at all. meanwhile the rooftop kiss... god, the rooftop kiss. that one is SO important and they let you feel it. the longer it goes on the more the tension rises and the more urgent it becomes and you as a viewer are just left breathless. the rooftop scene is a thing of beauty for so many reasons and this is one of them
oops i went off on a nerdy tangent.... sorry about that 😅
aaaaanyway, as i've mentioned before, kiss scenes are usually ok for me. it's the sex scenes that i'm a bit wary of, especially the more explicit they get. the more clothes come off and/or the more the kisses get further and further away from the head, the more likely i am to feel uncomfortable watching the scene. and if moaning is involved, that's usually the point where i'm like "ok i'm out". (and before i get an angry anon in my ask box telling me i'm being homophobic bc "yay gay sex" – i do not give a single fuck (quite literally) about the genders of the people involved in the sex scene. i find watching straight sex just as icky kjdfjkdg. ideologically i'm all for normalizing gay sex, put practically i'm just simply not the right target group fjfjhd)
though i have to say, it's gotten a little better now, the older i get. i guess i'm just getting used to those scenes. it's a slow process, but still, i find myself getting less uncomfortable now at age 26 compared to when i was, say, around 20
like, only friends has mostly been ok for me to my big surprise?? well, that bostontop scene in the car was a bit too much for me (and a definite skip on rewatches) and so was the sandray scene in the camper from last episode, like, i didn't really need that to watch that, while other scenes i'm having an easier time with (i haven't yet been able to figure out how a sex scene needs to be shot in order for me to enjoy it)
but even if i don't get uncomfortable as quickly anymore, i still don't really actively seek out media with overly sexual content/plots. UNLESS. i have a reason to do so like, uh, first kanaphan. (ngl if it wasn't for first, i probably wouldn't be watching only friends at all. i would have watched the trailer and been like "ok this show is too horny for me, i'll let the others have fun and maaaybe follow the show via gifs on my dash at most")
or, you know, joongdunk 😂😂 although i have to say that in reality i actually want a saucy/sexy series (like an only friends-style series) more for them rather than myself! i feel like they'd have fun with it. there's just something about them doing dum dum for lol fanfest and that choreography ending in some neck biting action and them having the idea to switch up who bites who for day 2 in order to surprise everyone. there's just something about how they kept talking about how hidden agenda is more mature than star in my mind and how there were some scenes that they'd never done before (here is some of that interview with eng subs, but unfortunately it's heavily edited rip). there's something about the way the two of them actually sat down together and did a whole ass instagram live in which they watched, reacted and provided commentary to the entirety of hidden agenda ep8 (as far as i'm aware of they didn't go live on instagram for any other episode. and i'm 1000000% sure they chose ep8 specifically for the love scene and the love scene alone fkfjjfjf). not to mention how joong immediately went "episode 8" when asked for his favorite episode and grinned and looked at dunk and when dunk was like "i'm thinking either 7 or 8" joong repeated "eight" and when dunk still didn't get it joong nudged him and firmly went "eight!!" and then dunk went "oh yeah, ep 8"
so yeah. i want a sexy joongdunk series for them, for their sake. i think they'd have a blast with it djkfgjkdkjd
#SexyJoongDunkVampireSeriesWhen #JusticeForJoongDunk @ gmmtv
5 notes · View notes
softwaluigi · 1 year
Text
just finished repo the genetic opera. I feel lied to
2 notes · View notes
itheume · 2 years
Text
me : wow i cant believe the romance option event system is like social links. this is the only association to p/rsona i can think of :)
the day-to-day calendar system + the after school activities + two ( 2 ) questions tossed @ the mc's head during school + the options to study / exercise / read @ home + the one time where you have a mandatory weekend friend event + the looming threat of a test :
#kam.txt#the vampire house#( tempted to make a tag that's just called vh posting or something like that just so i can smack posts w it on my own blog but im thinking#odic said it was inspired a little by p/rsona but i didnt think of How inspired until i was going back through the game files yesterday#which was interesting like i think it was fun that there was an attempt there to export its life sim aspects into like#Text Format tm#but i Also went through the empty rainy ' no murders today :) ' days while i was reading through it and it made me realize how um ;;#i do not want to say hollow but i will say gutted a day by day system feels without those events ;; like im still hung up on that#someone : but kam those days are mostly for finishing up whatever you need to do ! it was like that in p/ersona too !#and yeah those moments Were there and important for quick leveling or building a stat or whatnot but like ;; there's no consequence of#doing nothing for those days like if you've played it you know that stats do not change too much in the grand scheme of things#which makes me want to play haze to see how odic has improved in that regard u kno bc i think it was fun how if like#you finished the office ninja book you hide when elizabeth & roxanne show up outside the gate & hear more of their convo#roxanne sees u anyways but that was fun to see !! tragic & devastating i only knew it existed via looking @ the actual coding tho !!#like just a game full of that would be v fun ur honor i cannot lie to u )#( off to play haze just to see how it's improved on all of this idk if i will report back but i will apply my knowledge um#please know i am still holding up the unused monsters from the startup text file confused & disoriented#anyway once again another post w eight hundred tags sorry if u open the tag list n find this lmao )#( scrolled up and am sitting here fighting to figure out if there's a test like i cant remember if the mc ever took it )
1 note · View note
myntrose · 3 months
Text
ೃ⁀➷partners in crime ︻デ═一
‧͙⁺˚・༓☾────────────────────────────────☽༓・˚⁺‧͙
ft: Alastor x gn! reader
summary: It's another night at the hotel. Everyone is lounging around the shared space, or sitting at the bar. With a boost of confidence (and a few drinks) Angel finally asks the burning question everyone had : How did you and Alastor meet?
cw: demi! Alastor, established relationship(married), Alastor and reader meet when they were alive, reader is an assassin , killing and mild gore (it's alastor yall), a lot of petnames, no use of y/n, no beta we die like men
a/n: it's the way alastor got me smiling and kicking my feet. he got me to break my 1 year hiatus LMAO. also, I am aware that he's ace. I myself am somewhere along the demi spectrum, so this fic is purely for comfort n coping. if you don't like it, pls ignore :,D
wc: 1.5 k (1,469 words)
‧͙⁺˚・༓☾────────────────────────────────☽༓・˚⁺‧͙
The hotel common was filled with low gentle music and idle chatter. Vaggie and Charlie were on the couch, talking about everything and nothing. Nifty was running around chasing some poor roach. Even Cherri was here, with Sir Pentious attempting to flirt with her once again.
Husk was behind the bar, in ordinary fashion. Although he was mostly listening and doing his job, he would occasionally chide into the conversation the other two residents at the hotel were having. Angel was in the middle of telling you about how much of a headache Val was, while you gave him you condolences. It seemed like the only person missing was the radio demon himself, who was probably in his tower, making a new broadcast.
"Speakin of which..." Angel, who noticed Alastor's lack of presence, noted "I got a question for ya toots. How is it that tall, red and creepy managed to bag you as a partner? You're sweet and all, I get that. But how did you even meet-"
The loud slam of drinks caused the peace within the hotel to halt . Husk shoots a stern glare towards Angel, almost to warn him, be cautious about asking question's about Alastor and his darling, you never know if he's listening.
"It's alright, Husk" You send him a sincere smile. While he would never trust your husband, he can't help but believe your words.
"Well, Angel, let's start with this. If you've ever wondered why I'm down here in the first place, it's because of the occupation I had when I was alive. That's actually how I met Alastor."
Oh, maybe you were a thief and were trying to steal something from Alastor. Or maybe a detective that was on the case to solve his murders. Or maybe-
"I was hired to assassinate one of his targets."
oh.
You couldn't help but laugh at Angels' reaction. Sure, you were kind to those in the hotel, and definitely not as threatening as most overlords. He, and most people you met in Hell, just assumed you committed some mundane crime and got the unfortunate eternal punishment .
Taking a small sip of your drink, you start to recollect the unforgettable night that would define your current relationship.
It was supposed to be like any other job that you were given. Your employer would hand you a file, you would find the target, and get paid in return. Maybe it wasn't the most ethical way to make money, but hey, you knew how to kill so you made it work.
You had followed your target into the bar, while waiting away in the corner. Though your eyes were focused on them the entire night, you couldn't help but feel another pair of eyes on you.
It was probably some random patron in the bar, you guessed. It wasn't for another hour when you noticed that your target had left the vicinity.
The streets were dark, with the occasional street light every block or so. It was perfect place to finish your job. All you needed was for your target to turn into some alleyway, and as quietly as you followed him, you'd quietly go for the kill-
Quietly. Hold on, why was it so quite?
Looking up the street, you noticed that what was once where your target stood was now empty. There was no way he outran you, given that you would have heard his footsteps. To the right of you were the woods, maybe he took a detour?
No, everything felt wrong. Every single thought in your brain was screaming to run, to grab your gun that was hidden beneath your coat, to get out of here-
"Careful my dear, we wouldn't want you getting hurt now, would we?"
A cold blade found its way to your neck. Two very disturbing facts became known to you. First, was the fact that the blade was already stained red. And second, you were about to be the second kill of the night.
A million thoughts ran through your mind. Was this how you were going to die? How fast could you grab your gun? Would your employer be pissed off that you died in the job? With your eyes shut closed, you waited for the knife to make contact.
"Now now, there's no need to be so scared my dear! My, you look like a deer in headlights!"
...what?
Opening your eyes, you're met with the mysterious man who just had his weapon on you seconds ago. He seemed vaguely familiar, probably having seen him at the bar you frequent.
"It seems that I've caused you quite a scare. Do know that wasn't my intention. I just wanted to see for myself this new assassin I've heard so much about! You've caused quite the gossip, my dear. Makes good conservation."
You continued to stand in silence, with the initial shock of almost dying wearing off now. As mad as you were that you got caught, you were equally confused on just who this man was. With some more listening to his voice, the answer popped into your mind.
"You- you're that new radio host! Alastor, was it?"
Alastor's smile grew at the acknowledgment. "Indeed I am! Glad to know you've heard about me."'
Had anyone walked into the conversation you two were having, they would have assumed it was one between new acquaintances. In which one has a knife in their hand, while the other has a gun.
"You see, my dear, I've heard quite a bit about your line if work. While I am more than capable of... dealing with others, I propose that we work out some sort of deal. One where you can finally stop working for that employer of yours, and actually make a profit off your talents."
Alastor put out a hand, waiting, watching to see how you'd respond. It's been a long night for you, and you had a feeling that this wouldn't be the last time you saw. Plus, if working with him meant you'd finally have to stop answering to your boss, then why the hell not. You take his hand, before agreeing to this proposition.
"...and since then, we've been business partners. Our relationship kind of just happened after a few moths."
It was nice to look back to when you first met your now-husband. Looking around the bar, you noticed that you weren't just talking to Angel. At some point, unbeknownst to you, everyone at the hotel had come over to listen to your story time.
"Well toots, I figured you had to be some sort of crazy to date smiles, but I guess it takes one to know one." Angels says while taking a shot, still reeling with that fact that someone as kind as you was a killer. Head nods and murmurs of agreement spread within the group.
Before you could say anything, a pool of dark clouds appeared to your side. From the shadows, the very man you were taking about stood before you.
"Hey, Al."
He faces you with his signature grin, before turning to the rest of the residents.
"It seems that I've became the topic of conversion while I was gone! It's quite interesting to see how interested you all are in with me and my dear's meeting."
The hint of annoyance in his voice was entertaining, to say the least. You place a hand on his shoulder, barely hovering above it.
"Aww, come of Al! They just wanted to hear how we first met! Besides, it's a fun story to tell."
"If "fun" means almost killing ya for the first time, I'd hate to know what you guys did when you started dating-" "Shut up Angel!"
You answer a few questions that were asked before everyone eventually returned back to their previous endeavors. Husk and Angel eventually sit around with the others in the common room, leaving just you and Alastor at the bar.
"It's kinda funny, now that I look back at it."
Alastor doesn't say anything, promoting you to continue.
"That night, I almost turned down that job. I was painfully tired, and all I wanted to do was go home. It's crazy to think that we wouldn't have met had I not pushed myself to take the job."
Anyone who knew Alastor would know that him asking for a partnership was simply outlandish. Hell, Alastor himself questioned why he was seeking you out in the first place.
No, underneath he knew. He knew from the first time he saw you. It was a different time from when you both officially met. When he saw you, someone so seemingly innocent, skillfully take down a man twice your size, he knew that he had to meet you.
"Well, mon chéri, it's good that you did."
503 notes · View notes
nyxronomicon · 11 months
Text
pudding
Diavolo x MC (GN pronouns / MC has a vagina)
a/n: I wrote most of this shortly after reading the lunatic pudding devilgram in the OG!OM app. in fact I distinctly remember getting stuck on the sex part bc i didn't really write smut yet... look at how far I've come lmao <- exclusively writes smut now
tw: breeding kink, aphrodisiac, size kink (Diavolo's big cock once again), mating press, rough sex, Diavolo goes a lil feral, a little bit of nipple play, fingering, oral (MC receiving)
-
The adrenaline from running from demons all afternoon wore off as you and Diavolo settled in his room. He’d locked the door behind himself before turning around to face you. 
"That was quite the chase." He said, keeping his distance from you now that you were in private together.
"I can't believe how potent one bite of lunatic pudding was." You responded, shaking a little. You looked at Diavolo, remembering he's not immune. "What about you, not feeling very romantic?" You smirked.
Diavolo chuckled. "Don't test me. I'm at my limits of self restraint." He smiled nervously. He fidgeted a moment, realizing he needed to protect you until the effects wore off. Even across the room your scent became harder to resist with every passing second. And he still had 23 hours to go.
"Thank you, Lord Diavolo." You took a seat on his couch. 
"It's no trouble at all." Diavolo responded, stepping closer to you. You watched him carefully, there was something different about him, as if the royal facade was gone and he was himself. Come to think of it, this was the first time you were alone with him. "I need to freshen up- don't hesitate to call if anything happens." Diavolo stepped into the master bathroom as you nodded back to him.
23 more hours. It was all you could think about. Your secret crush on the prince had your heart racing at the possibilities. What were you going to do for 23 hours in Diavolo's bedroom…? You knew exactly what was on his mind. It was on yours too, if you were being honest, but you didn’t want him to do anything he would regret with you. So, you busied yourself thinking of something to distract him.
"Want to listen to music?" You smiled, pulling him out of his dark fantasies. "If you close your eyes maybe it'll keep your mind off- uh…"
Meanwhile, Diavolo splashed water on his face. His thoughts raced as he looked at himself in the mirror. I have to control myself. I can’t succumb to my desires. How would it look if I took advantage of an exchange student? He shook his head as if that would cure his sinful thoughts and exited the bathroom.
His resolve shattered the moment he saw you again, his mind stuck on how easy it would be to overpower you, a mere human.
He chuckled at your hesitation. "The intense attraction I have for you?" He said, sitting on one of the accent chairs on either side of the couch. Diavolo had his doubts about your plan, mostly because it was your intoxicating scent that was giving him the most trouble. 
Your face felt flush. "Uh, yeah…" you laughed nervously. "I'll play something. Stay there."
"I'm not one of those brothers you can command, you know." He smiled, watching you move as you flipped through his vinyls. "But if you wanted to-" he caught himself and stopped, blush dusting his cheeks. You looked back at him, catching his golden eyes for a moment before he looked away.
"If I wanted to… what?" You gave him a coy smile before turning back to the records. You were surprised to find your favorite musician in his collection and put it on the player.
"Ignore me, that was the pudding…" he said, still blushing as the record began to play.
"Close your eyes." You commanded, testing his unfinished words. He looked at you a moment before closing his eyes with a soft smile.
"I'm not doing this because you told me to." Diavolo clarified. "I'm doing this because I want to know if it helps." He remained frozen in his seat. 
You quietly walked closer to him and admired the handsome demon. Your eyes trailed from his jawline down his neck. His well tailored uniform left a lot to your imagination but you had plenty of time to undress him with your eyes. 23 hours, to be exact. You leaned on the side of the couch closest to Diavolo as you studied his strong hands. You could practically feel them running up and down your body.
As the first song ended, Diavolo's eyes slowly opened and caught you looking at him. "I thought you came closer." He had a darker intensity to him. "I hope you weren't thinking about trying anything."
"Why, were you?" You shot back at him with a grin, matching his intensity. 
He smiled and buried his face in his hand. "Of course I was. I still am." His face remained in his palm. The record continued to play as the two of you paused, afraid to say what was on your minds.
"What if…" you hesitated, knowing this was not something you could take back after saying it. "What if… I want you to try something?" Diavolo's fingers clawed into his hair, keeping his face hidden. 
When he didn’t respond, you spoke again. “Diavolo… I… have a crush on you.” He chuckled before a brief pause, the weight of your words heavy in the air.
"The truth is…" he began, "I had trouble resisting you without the pudding." Heat rushed to your face as he peeked at you through his fingers. You stared at each other with desire. “You’re making this very hard for me…”
Diavolo took a deep breath. His mind was screaming at him to fuck you. He knew he could overpower you, it was all he could think about. And now, it seemed that was exactly what you wanted. But he couldn’t shake the thought of how improper it would be. He stood and turned to walk to the balcony for some fresh air, stopped by your hand catching his wrist. 
He froze. He wanted you so bad. There was no telling how much of it was his natural attraction to you and how much was the pudding’s effect, but Diavolo’s thoughts were consumed with you. How he wanted his hands on your body. His teeth on your skin. And god, what he would give to fill you with his cum so thoroughly that you’d carry his heir… 
These thoughts had occurred to him in passing, he’d even jerked off to the idea before but this was so much different. He could normally distract himself, but everything that came to mind was you. He needed to fuck you. Maybe that was the answer- maybe it would dull the pudding’s effect. 
He felt his eyes darken with desire, desperately attempting to calm himself down. 
The two of you were frozen there for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, his fingers loosened and slowly intertwined with yours. He turned around, you could see the darkness in his champagne eyes. He looked demonic. He suddenly pulled you toward him until your faces were inches from each other. His free hand trailed up your arm at a glacial pace. It gave you goosebumps. Finally, it settled on your cheek.
"Is it ok if I stop restraining myself?" He whispered, lips brushing against yours as he waited for a response. You could tell his muscles were tense, like this gentleness was taking all of his self control to maintain.
"... yes-" you barely had time to finish saying the word before his lips crashed into yours. He was ravenous. His tongue grazed your lips and you parted them, allowing him to explore your mouth. It was electric. He dropped your hand and suddenly pulled you tightly against him by the hips, his other hand remaining on your jaw. He deepened the kiss and you lost yourself in a haze of desire, hands gripping his uniform. 
He slowed his movements and hesitated before pulling away. His fiery gaze met yours, still gripping you tightly. “... fuck.” He mumbled before dropping his head to your shoulder. He nuzzled you for a moment before gently kissing your neck. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this…” His voice was low and sultry. “One bite of pudding... and I’ve completely lost control…” He peppered kisses on your neck between thoughts. “I wonder…” He started slowly unbuttoning your uniform. “What will my subjects think?”
Heat rose in your body as he continued to unbutton. “Do they have to know?” You whispered. Diavolo did not respond as he pushed your shirt open, exposing your chest. He sucked on your collarbone to leave his mark while running his hands over your torso. 
When he was satisfied with the bruise left, he brought his lips to your ear. “I guess not.” He whispered then sucked on your earlobe. You let out a moan which made him chuckle. “I love that sound…” He said, nuzzling into you again. He pulled away and swept you into his arms to carry you to his bed. He sat you on the edge and admired you for a moment. “Are you sure this is ok?” He asked, lust burning in his eyes.
“I want you, Diavolo.” You responded, finally slipping your uniform jacket off. Diavolo helped you remove your top completely and pushed you back onto the bed. He crawled on top of you, pinning your hands down with his as he locked you in another kiss. He was needy and desperate, it seemed the effects of the pudding were only getting more intense. 
Diavolo sat up and urgently began unbuttoning his shirt. You tried to sit up with him but he pushed you back down. 
“Don’t move.” He said, removing his shirt and undershirt revealing his muscles. He leaned over you again, caging you against the bed. One hand drifted to your neck, holding it firmly as he tangled his tongue with yours again. You trailed your fingers along his bare chest, pinching his nipples as he groaned in response.
“Two can play at that game.” He growled, trailing kisses down your chest until he reached a nipple. He flicked it with his tongue, watching it harden before enclosing his lips around it. You moaned and bucked your hips. As Diavolo’s mouth worked your nipple, his fingers rubbed your arousal through your pants. He unfastened them as he trailed kisses further down. Diavolo looked up at you for a moment, his golden eyes looking into yours as he removed your pants. He bit his lip as if asking for permission. You gave him a silent nod.
Diavolo started rubbing your pussy, simultaneously appreciating its beauty. You leaned your head back and quietly moaned. This encouraged him to use his mouth to pleasure you, pressing his tongue against your clit. As Diavolo slipped his fingers in your cunt, your moaning became louder and more erratic. He was stretching you to fit his throbbing cock.
“Diavolo… feels so good…” You moaned. He allowed himself to be rougher, gripping your hips to keep you from squirming in pleasure. His tongue swirled around your clit and he could feel your walls shudder around his fingers, your wet pussy nearly ready for his length. He stuck another finger in for good measure, finding your g-spot as you moaned his name. 
His fingers slid out and he smirked at you. “My turn.” He said, wiping his face with the back of his hand. He stood, tugging you by the legs to the edge of the bed. You watched as he removed his belt, then his pants, then his boxers. His huge cock sprung up, eager to feel you.
Diavolo positioned your ankles on his shoulders as he lined himself up with your pussy. You felt the tip slowly push in, your body adjusting to his size. You could feel the stretch- it was a tight fit, but as he bottomed out inside you, it made you feel so satisfyingly full.
“So big…” You murmured.
“You like that, hm?” He chuckled, leaning over you and folding you into a mating press. He began to thrust, the friction reminding you of how good he was making you feel earlier. Moans dripped from your lips as his pace increased. Diavolo’s last shreds of self-control had disappeared, he was now fucking you completely recklessly. 
“Fuck… Dia…” You panted, feeling your cunt tighten around him as he continued.
“Gonna… put a baby in you…” He growled, capturing you in a rough kiss as your knees hit your chest. His cock was pounding you so hard, all you could do was whimper as his tongue slid into your mouth. The effects of the pudding made Diavolo forget all about your pleasure, his relentless pace quickening as he neared his orgasm. 
“Been waiting for this… so long…” Diavolo mumbled, each thrust of his hips threatening to push you over the edge. “Want to breed you… Make you mine…” His dick rammed into your g-spot so precisely, finally you felt the wave of pleasure shooting through your body. You felt yourself tighten around him, shockwaves of ecstasy turning you into a blubbering mess as his orgasm followed shortly after.
Diavolo growled and moaned. You could feel the cum filling you, the added pressure in your cunt only sending more aftershocks through you. He thrust a few more times, cum sputtering out in waves as you both came down from your high. Breathing heavily, you pushed his sweaty bangs out of his face as his gaze lost the demonic aura he had moments before. 
You were slow to catch your breath, Diavolo unmoving on top of you. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his cock still lodged inside you. You ran your fingers through his hair. 
“I’m afraid that didn’t help.” Diavolo sighed after a long pause. “I want you even more now.” You felt his cock twitch inside you, still rock hard. 
“Well,” You smirked. “We still have 22 hours to kill.” 
2K notes · View notes
tubbytarchia · 5 months
Note
Thoughts on the dynamic between TIES Tango and BB Jimmy? Or even the silly rivalry they have in SL? There’s just so much adorable fluffy potential there and I’m just 💭
- 🧚🏼‍♀️
Tumblr media
YOU'RE RIGHT THERE IS AND I LOVE THEM. SL ranchers are SO cute and precious its off the charts. Limited Life however...
Tumblr media
Ok drawing that hurt a bit so I'm immediately following up with this
Tumblr media
Limited Life is so carefree in general it's SO fun and probably the least angst material out of any of the Life series to me (of course there is still plenty, can't underestimate the traffic fandom's ability to find angst in everything) including Tango and Jimmy. They're so fun and you're right that it's a lot of fluff potential, mostly because Jimmy being a "bad boy" is so funny. BUT THE, MAN. TH The fact that this is the one after DL, after Jimmy so desperately wanted to apologize to Tango for how they went out and who knows if he got to do that or not. I love the idea of them reuniting in some temporary afterlife game or dark void following their deaths, but also what if they didn't get to talk... maybe it was only Tango's distant messages "you're still here? It's over. Go home. Go" that reached him and then he just didn't dare to talk about it other than the one time he instinctually called him "rancher" again. I can't help but be filled with angst when I think about LimL ranchers but I trust that where there is angst, hurt/comfort is sure to follow.... If not then I just die I guess
The bad boy sunglasses are very convenient to hide the look with which he gazes upon Tango from a distance... But then oop Tango hops through the nether portal on top of bad boy mansion and Jimmy decides to go for it, to try and harken back to how they used to be to gauge how Tango will react when he goes "The boogie's being chosen, you're here with us now, we have to look into each other's eyes!" (paraphrasing) and then he's like "oh Impulse is here too" lmao and then that's just kinda it. And then TIES blows up bread bridge and auughhghhh you know??? I'm so bad at expressing how I feel, sorry this is a ramble. But I love them so very dearly and I could absolutely imagine inconspicuous moments between them. Like whenever I think of potential LimL rancher fluff my mind goes to this one fanfic about Jimmy being sleep deprived and he just kinda ends up at TIES and Tango puts him to sleep. Stuff like that
And idk what more to say about Secret Life. Their little rivalry is so funny and literally idk if it's the fanart that has absolutely fucked with my head but every time I think about them I imagine them awkwardly flirting on complete accident and just being kind of weird but. very lovable. They had only two notable interactions and those two interactions left me permanently deranged
ANYWAY THANKS FOR THE ASK ANON
534 notes · View notes
shinesurge · 5 months
Text
Webcomic rings run by people within the community are cool and you should support them
I've been loudly struggling a little bit with corporate webcomic Stuff lately so I want to mention something positive to balance it out: webrings run by small groups of creators earnestly trying to support each other are slowly making a comeback and I for one am delighted.
If you weren't around for them in the before times, webrings were just some folks who hang out a lot who feature each other on their websites. That's literally it lmao. There's generally no money involved and it only really functions the way it's supposed to if people have control over their own websites AND genuinely want to participate and get excited about other folks' work, which means the practice has pretty well fallen by the wayside over the years in webcomic culture given. Everything. In the rare event someone decides to do something like this it's usually in the form of a link list somewhere on their website; this doesn't usually indicate any sort of mutual support, it's just a list of what the creator is reading themselves.
A webring, though, is an official banner or hub that people gather under intentionally where each member is more or less on equal footing. It's essentially the concept of "a rising tide lifts all boats" put into practice, each creator brings their own audience to the table in a passive, opt-in sort of way that's different from working for a publisher since there isn't necessarily a Top Spot or a paycheck everyone's vying for, and individuals retain autonomy over both their own work and how (if) they promote each other. You're all at your own tables in an artist alley rather than fighting over the table in the front of the book store, essentially.
I have two rings and one collective for you today!
Tumblr media
Webcomic Ring was brought to my attention AGES ago by Holly, one of the artists featured there, and I might have brought it up at some point but I'm doing it again lmao. This is exactly the kind of thing you ought to be looking for; a small group of enthusiastic folks having a good time making their weird little comics. You probably haven't heard of much in the catalog, that's PERFECT in the context of webcomics that's where the GOOD SHIT is. Finding something like this is A Gift go dig around in the longboxes for a while.
Tumblr media
Then a few people have pointed me in the direction of the KNIFEBEETLE collective and that's neat too! Most of the comics there are already fairly well-known, but the vibes are excellent and I haven't seen a lot of talk about the collective /itself/ outside folks already in the know. I think it's important for this sort of thing to be more visible to folks who aren't terminally steeped in webcomic culture already so here I am telling you about it. You were probably reading several of these before I suggested it, but that's how a webring works! For it to do its job you should take those bigger creators' tacit recommendation of the less popular titles as a sign to go read something new and strange. Wild, I know these are practices held over from the old internet, but I think we should try and bring them back.
Lastly, I want to mention Spiderforest, which is a collective (slightly different from a webring) BUT still a very cool project readers starved for new stuff should pay attention to.
Tumblr media
You've probably seen Spiderforest kicking around for a long time already; they're wonderful and have always been an overall positive force in the community in my experience. They really focus on building up a community, and especially welcoming newcomers and helping them get their feet under them. Full disclosure, I've been asked to apply by a few different folks over the years and the only reason I never did is I don't have the ability to participate in their forums and such as frequently as they want their creators to; it's a very good system (from my outside perspective) that might contribute to the community staying mostly healthy in ways that art communities usually don't and I appreciate it a lot!
ANYWAYS that's all I got for now, just trying to balance out some bad feelings I've been having by talking about some good stuff. Please go binge an archive this week.
569 notes · View notes
aeshiiteiru · 1 year
Note
soo could you write about dazai, chuuya and tecchou's red green and beige flags?
…My Flags?
— Their green, red and beige flags ft. O.Dazai, N. Chuuya, S. Tetchou
Tumblr media
— Warnings & Notes
sfw | Mix
|| thx for the request, made me have an unwanted reality check lmao
|| kinda angsty but also fluffy and funny, those are based on my own thoughts and opinions!
m.list | writing rules
Tumblr media Tumblr media
— Dazai
The green flags
He tries his best to be a good boyfriend. Of course it takes time and effort, but he really tries to give his all for you and you notice it (most of the time). He just tries his best for you (even though he has his moments)
He showers you with compliments. He wants you to know what he feels for you every step of the way. Some compliments are actually just so ridiculous it’s funny
“Mh, ‘bella! You’re so beautiful I would definitely steal your photos, make a fake account, and impress other people online!”
“That’s, uh….creepy but cute, thank you love…”
Conversation with him are never boring! He will find thousands of stupid topics just to talk to you about them! He wants to hear you laugh and see you smile as you state your opinions on all these weird things. (He probably doesn’t want to do his work smh)
The red flags
He tends to gaslight you…a lot. Mostly about that you’re just paranoid that he gaslights you. He doesn’t do it on purpose most of the time, it’s just how he is.
Unfortunately he still flirts with other women. He isn’t cheating, but the sweet words and looks still happen sometimes. He does it unintentionally, but it’s there, it happens. He says he tries to get rid of these habits, but you’re doubtful.
 Dazai runs away from his problems. Always. Whenever there is a conflict between you two he tries to brush it off and act like everything is okey. That is until he notices you’re genuinely upset with him, then he just leaves. He leaves and returns after a few hours or days of no contact and acts like nothing happened again.
The beige flags
 When he notices that he accidentally made you cry, he will jump on top of you to aggressively suck the tears off your face like some human vacuum in order to make you laugh and feel better. It’s ridiculous but it works.
Whenever you ask him what he wants to eat he always, always replies with “you” or “nothing”. No in-between, no specifics. It was funny at first, but at some point you just started to sigh and shake your head at it.
He keeps his undies that have holes in them so that he can surprise you by walking out the bathroom and tearing them off his body only leaving the waist band. He calls it the “grand reveal”. Always whenever you least expect it. Makes you question many things.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
— Chuuya
The green flags
He notices the little things. You have a sparkle in your eyes whenever you see a flower you like? Expect a bouquet of these flowers on the table the next day. You pick out a vegetable from your food because you don’t like it? He noticed, and he made sure that that vegetable never appears in your house ever again.
Yeah so he is always trying to impress you with things. He often makes a fool out of himself because of it, but it brings a smile to your face so you let him do his thing.
Chuuya loves to gossip about people with you. You know the second he says “you won’t believe what happened.” Means you’re in for the hottest, spiciest tea spill in history. His gossip is always so juicy it leaves you gasping with every sentence. You love how he trusts only you with it.
The red flags
The way he expresses his anger makes you feel unsafe sometimes. You never know when he will accidentally harm you during one of his anger outbursts. It’s very worrisome to you and actually him too.
He is an alcoholic already a separate red flag, so stuff happens when he is wasted (which is often). Chuuya often tells you hurtful things during that time. It’s things he would never, ever allow to leave his mouth while sober, but we all know drunk Chuuya is not your Chuuya anymore.
Always needs to know where you are and what you’re doing. He is very, very controlling. Is it because he is worried? Possessive? Obsessive?? No one knows. But he is, and it’s suffocating sometimes. You basically have no privacy. (It’s probably because he has trust issues that you’ll leave him at some point just like others ekhem Dazai )
“So, where are you going? Who will you be with?”
“….to a bar, with just some friends..?”
“Is that so? What friends? Actually, I’ll have some of my men go with you to be sure you’ll be fine.”
“……”
The beige flags
Whenever he spills the hot tea of the day in the mafia, you’re no longer “love, dear, doll or baby” etc. No, no, that’s when you become “dawg” or “bro” and you deal with it. He is not aware of it and you never tell him. You are dawg. That’s final.
Whenever he misplaces his belongings, the first thing he does is ask you “what did you do with my (insert item)?” It doesn’t matter what it is, his phone, his hat whatever, he thinks you took it.
When you guys go to bed he scoots closer and closer over the course of the night in order to cuddle you, except he always scoots a little too much and you always end up falling off the bed, and then when you try to get him to move back a little he will complain that it’s late and you should be sleeping instead of waking him up. (He is only half awake the whole time, forgive him for being a bitch)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
— Tetchou
The green flags
He respects your boundaries. When you say no, it means no, and he understands.
He never flinches when you order something no sane person would eat. That's because he also does that. (It should be a red flag that his taste in food is horrendous, but he will never judge you sooo forgiven)
He always listens to you. He might not understand a thing you're talking about, or might not get why that thing is so exciting but he will listen, and agree with everything you say to show you he is interested and is paying attention.
The red flags
Puts his job above you. You always come second. He loves you, but if the job required him to break up with you, he would without a second thought. I’m sorry, justice above all.
He is lacking in emotional intelligence. He doesn't really know how to comfort you or empathize with you which leaves you to mostly deal with the emotional distress yourself.
Sleeps with his socks on during summer. Thats all, that’s the reddest flag.
The beige flags
Whenever he's hungry and you're not he will starve himself, because he refuses to eat when you're not eating. It makes him feel bad and you don’t get why.
Whenever you ask him a question he will answer without elaboration. —
"How was work?"
"Good. As usually."
— A man of few words, but you need him to spill the details, right now.
He can't use emojis. He thinks “🙄” is someone looking up, not an eye-roll. It makes texting more difficult than it should…
Tumblr media
Copyright © 2023 Aeshiiteiru.
1K notes · View notes
melrosing · 2 months
Note
What do you think of the Sansa bullied Arya take if you don’t mind me asking (just don’t answer if you don’t want to haha)
per my usual practice on Controversial Topics im putting this under a cut
At the real risk of that lot showing up in my notes again, I think this ‘Sansa bullies Arya’ pins their pre AGOT dynamic squarely on Sansa herself, rather than the way they are both being raised by the adults around them to behave towards one another. Sure, Sansa is mean to Arya sometimes during their childhood! We don’t have a lot of examples besides the oft-mentioned ‘horseface’ insults, but I think it’s fair to assume that more often than not, Sansa was looking down on Arya. Meanwhile, Arya herself feels inadequate and like she just can’t do anything right. She resents Sansa, but also worries that Sansa’s opinion of her may be true.
Fine. But where has Sansa’s opinion of Arya come from? Is it her cold black heart? Fucking no, it’s come from Septa Mordane, Catelyn, and whoever else surrounds them growing up. The men don’t seem to really give much of a shit how Arya acts because it’s not their business and she’s just a kid anyhow, but the women pointedly give many shits. In our first scene with Arya, Septa Mordane scolds her for not being good at ‘women’s work’, and there’s plenty to suggest that this is just another day in the life for Arya. Meanwhile, Sansa gets the carrot for excelling. Both Arya and Sansa are learning their own worth in this chapter, and the worth of one another. Sansa internalises the praise whilst learning that Arya is bad, and everything she mustn’t be. Arya internalises the criticisms whilst learning that Sansa is good, and everything she can never be.
They’ll be getting this from Catelyn as well. Catelyn clearly adores both her daughters, and will move heaven and earth to get them back in ACOK. But one good adjective for Catelyn is ‘dutiful’ - it’s in her house words, and it’s how she’s lived her life up to AGOT. Doing as she’s told, even when it pains her. She expects the same of her daughters, and finds those expectations satisfied in Sansa’s case, and apparently flouted in Arya’s. So again, from their own mother, Sansa internalises that Arya is bad, and that she, Sansa, is good. Arya internalises the same. If societal standards were reversed, perhaps it would be Arya lording over Sansa, but such as it is, it’s Sansa over Arya. 
Now, Sansa is a child. When children are told over and over that X is good and Y is bad, they generally don’t question it, at least until they're older and more experienced in the world. They will also parrot what they hear, often in graceless ways. Because they’re children. Sansa is told that Arya wilfully misbehaves because she’s bad, and so Sansa thinks: then I should look down on Arya. It sounds like Sansa mostly keeps her distance from her sister pre AGOT. Not always - they play together sometimes - but a lot of the time. She has internalised the teaching that Arya is an aberration, and as she herself knows the adults value obedience in girls, and she wants to please them so badly, the distance between her and Arya demonstrates to them just how good she is - she won’t descend to Arya’s behaviour. 
When Sansa does interact with Arya (pre Darry), we see her being a bit bossy - telling Arya what to do, etc. Sansa is replicating what she has seen the adults do with Arya, and is mimicking them to assert her own position as the good, obedient child. If Arya ever doesn’t want to do something, it can only be because she’s bad. 
[sidenote, it all really reminds me of these short stories me and my sister used to get read a lot as kids, called My Naughty Little Sister (lmao) by Dorothy Edwards. They're pretty old and I don’t think they ever got major circulation outside Britain, but for anyone unfamiliar, you can probably guess how these stories go. There’s an elder sister, good and obedient, who narrates short tales of her ‘naughty little sister’ doing terrible things like idk, making a terrible mess etc, and going ‘now I’m sure you [the child audience] wouldn’t do a thing like that!’ They’re supposed to be short morality tales for the children, and amuse the parent reading them aloud, who recognises the mischievous behaviour of the younger and is charmed by the haughtiness of the elder sister, who you can hear is narrating the incidents of her sister’s mischief with the disdain that she’s heard the adults do so, and is asserting her own good behaviour over said sister. And the whole fucking reason we were read these stories was because my younger sister was precisely the kind of kid who got up to all kinds of shit as a little kid (which now all of us find hilarious but DIDN’T AT THE TIME), and I was the elder sister like ‘my goodness how could she do such things as these!!’ (e.g. paint an entire bookcase with grout). It amused us both to see ourselves in the stories. You could say this was life imitating art, but I think this is simply an age old dynamic, familiar to many people with siblings: you would see how the adults spoke to another child in your family, and replicate their manner in an effort to come across as an adult. Except you weren’t an adult, so you weren’t always as graceful about it as they were. That is pre AGOT Sansa, to a T. And I’m sure that’s what GRRM, a child of three who had two sisters of his own, is replicating here.]
But I think there’s also a loneliness in being the ‘obedient child’. Doing as you’re told all the time can be boring, and living up to expectations is a lot of pressure. Sansa wants a companion in all that, but Arya has no interest in sharing in it. Arya is offering friendship, but from a place Sansa believes she can’t reach her sister - Sansa thinks she’d have to ‘descend to Arya’s level’ to accept it, and she can’t do that. You get a sense of Sansa thrilling in trying Arya’s ‘misbehaviours’ for herself when she quietly delights in behaving ‘as wicked as Arya’, but you see in this that she has to condemn such behaviours and herself for exhibiting them, all in the same breath. And in the end, I can easily imagine Sansa resents that Arya has more fun with their brothers than she ever does with Sansa herself: that the one sister she has is one she has nothing in common with. Sansa can’t find a like mind amongst her siblings, and so clings to Jeyne Poole, and the praise of the adults around her.
So with all that in mind, YES! Sansa is sometimes mean to Arya, and calls her horseface. That is because Sansa is a child, nobody is correcting her behaviour, and she understands that Arya is bad, and the way she behaves is frustrating to Sansa herself, so really what does it matter if she’s a little mean sometimes? She knows that she is good, because everyone says so. Even if she calls her sister a name now and then, she’s still the good child. 
AND THEN we get to Darry. And Sansa starts to see that society isn’t a song, and sometimes it doesn’t matter how good you are, horrible things can happen to you anyway. But she doesn’t want to believe that, because it would turn her world upside down, and her future would look a lot darker, too - Ned has not ended her engagement to Joffrey, and Sansa has to live for the foreseeable in KL. So when Arya doing the thing she ‘wasn’t supposed to’ (playing with Mycah) snowballs into a terrible miscarriage of justice where Sansa’s wolf is killed, Sansa rejects the notion that the songs could be wrong about beautiful princes, and shifts the blame onto Arya for that original 'misdemeanour'. The grief at losing Lady is terrible too (the wolves are meant to have a soul deep bond with the Stark children), and so the target of that grief likewise becomes Arya. What was previously a normal, childishly complicated sibling relationship gets twisted into something else.
This is where I think Sansa becomes different level of unpleasant towards her sister. She’s cruel about Arya’s loss of Mycah, tells Arya she wishes she were dead instead of Lady, etc etc. Arya is not giving as good as she gets here - she even tries to make amends with Sansa, but Sansa throws the offer in her face.
The reasons for Sansa’s behaviour are complicated, but not that complicated. She’s been raised to slot perfectly into this world, without ever being told what that world is really like. And when abruptly it turns out that what she’s being raised for is essentially the slaughter, she rejects it. She can’t see Joffrey as he truly is: she’s been told that princes are charming, that Kings are just, Queens are kind, and she herself will be a Queen. Sansa is going to be handed over to the Lannisters, and she’s going to live the song of her dreams, and the only thing between Sansa and the realisation of those is the thing that’s always been wrong: Bad Arya. Because again, if Arya isn't bad, then everything else is, and Sansa is in terrible danger.
No one is sitting Sansa down and explaining to her that Arya is not bad, just different from her, and that they should love one another - that there are dark forces here far stronger than them that could tear them apart, that the Lannisters are the greatest of them, and they have to fight together, not each other. Arya gets this talk, funnily enough, but not Sansa. Arya is asked to understand that Sansa is different from her, but Sansa is only ever taught to abhor that her sister as different from her. Where Arya is told to be wary of the court of King’s Landing, Ned leaves Sansa to continue her fantasies, and then, when he abruptly tries to put an end to them, he doesn’t bother to explain why. I’m not saying this is unforgivable on Ned’s part - he has a lot on his mind lol - but it’s quite obviously a major failing. Ned leaves Sansa in a fantasy world. It’s fucking Joffrey who has to step in and clarify for Sansa that actually, she’s been dreaming.
So as long as they’re together, Sansa is never able to come to terms with the fact that Arya was not the aberration, but rather, everything else was. In the absence of one another, they cannot reconcile over that fact. So yes, GRRM says they’ll have deep issues to sort through when they meet again, but those aren’t going to be the times that Sansa called her ‘horseface’ - they’re going to be about what happened since they left Winterfell, when their relationship was twisted by forces much darker than Septa Mordane. 
So no, I think the ‘Sansa is a bully’ diatribes are seriously tedious, because even if you want to insist that calling your sister ‘horseface’ a few times even qualifies, you can still accept such wrongs without deciding that that makes Sansa a fundamentally unkind person who cannot be reconciled with Arya and doesn’t deserve to be. It is on the page that the two of them miss each other. Like I genuinely cannot imagine going through everything Arya does in the story and then, upon reuniting with a sister I thought lost forever, deciding I’m actually still mad about the things she got wrong as a child that she herself has paid dearly for, both physically and emotionally. Like jesus fucking christ man. By all means let them talk about it!! But who do you think Arya is lmao
Tl;dr: Sansa is a kid in a society. She is not the arbiter of Arya’s place in society. She is not mean because she’s cruel, but because she has internalised the exact same things that Arya has, based on the example of the adults surrounding them. It just happens that those things were a carrot for Sansa and a stick for Arya. But then in the end, they weren’t a carrot for Sansa either.
tl;dr 2: clarifying once again - i am a jaime stan. i find the stark sister relationship interesting bc I have experience of a similar sisterly dynamic and find it interesting to see a version of that explored on the page. so if you think one has to be a sansa stan to observe all this then that kind of just demonstrates how dichotomous you've become on this issue lol like if I'm talking about takes I dislike re JB I don't generally feel the need to attribute them to JC fandom. let's all grow up x
tl;dr 3: no i don't hate sansa or arya, since i know these are both conclusions various people reach whenever i even mention these two. in fact i think they are both great girls! imagine
253 notes · View notes
disniq · 10 months
Note
heyyy it's the tropes jason anon again back at it with a new question! what quotes from the comic books would you say describe jason & his philosophy well? thank you so, so much for helping me out ❤
Hi again Anon!
Full disclosure here; I don't think Jason has been written consistently enough over the years to necessarily have one set, inarguable philosophy. But I do think there are certain themes that carry through.
So;
Tumblr media
Red Hood: Lost Days #3
This is, notably, the first time Jason kills. (I'm not including Garzonas, which is debatable, or the Cheer incident, which is a retcon) He finds out his hand-to-hand teacher has a barn full of drugged children about to be sex trafficked. The cops and politicians are in on it, making lawful justice extremely unlikely, but taking out one man takes out the system. Jason crosses that line for the first time because nobody else is there to stop it, and this is the most practical route.
He does not see it as "murder" because he feels it was deserved.
Tumblr media
Red Hood: Lost Days #4
After that line has been crossed - as Talia points out here - a pattern emerges. It's notable that Jason does not kill all his dubiously skilled teachers, only the ones he deems the worst of the worst - people deliberately and repeatedly harming everyday people, especially children.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Jason reiterates this in his famous utrh speech. He's not talking about killing every rogue, every criminal. He's talking about killing the worst of the worst, the people who can finagle their way out of the system, the people the system fails to catch.
Tumblr media
Under the Red Hood
It would be remiss of me not to include that one time Jason killed a nazi. Good for her dot gif.
To Jason, these people are beyond the regular means of justice, so he provides his own. He stops them from hurting anybody else.
This is not an exclusively post-resurrection opinion of his, either. Jason expressed similar thoughts during his Robin run.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Batman #422 (thank you @benbamboozled 😘)
This woman, Judy, baited her sister's murderer into attacking her too and then slits his throat. She's unrepentant, and Jason agrees with her decision. (Bruce, for the record, gives a speech on how "nobody is above the law" which is. An interesting stance for an illegally operating vigilante to take lmao)
It makes sense to me that Jason, as someone who has seen the system fail repeatedly (both as a civilian and as a hero), would have those kinds of doubts. The system doesn't always work. The system often fails the most vulnerable people.
When Bruce was failed by the Gotham justice system, he became his own extra-judicial system. When Jason is failed by both the justice system *and* Bruce's own vigilante system? Why wouldn't he do the same.
Unfortunately, this thread is mostly dropped for a while with the wave of writers who either actively hate Jason and try to make him capital E Evil or who are playing shameless self insert with him, but there are two more recent panels that I want to include too;
Tumblr media
Task Force Z #12
So, in TFZ, Jason pushes who he thinks is Bane off a roof for killing Alfred. It... is not actually Bane, but instead the brainwashed former corpse of Gotham re-reanimated via comicbook science and. You know what, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that Jason regrets killing Gotham because he didn't deserve it, but reiterates that he will kill the real Bane if he gets a chance.
Jason sees killing as something he can do that others can't, that others maybe *shouldn't* have to do.
Tumblr media
The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing #8
And finally, I adore this little beat in JTMWSL. This is something Jason thinks about. He's not just some brute that doesn't understand that "killing is bad". He thinks about it, reads theory about it. He sees that between the black and white, there are many, many shades of gray.
He understands that people who don't kill with their own hands aren't necessarily good people - like these cops here, gleefully waiting for him to be killed in prison. And that the people who *do* get their hands dirty aren't necessarily the bad guys - like poor Judy.
And I think he probably varies where he places himself on that scale at any given moment.
472 notes · View notes
arieswritez · 3 months
Note
glad you and this account exist, I feel like there’s a lack of Mark lovers lmao! but omg I can’t stop thinking about him, I feel feral but for the purpose of discussion I have to ask: what do you think his d!ck would look like?
Tumblr media
cw; scummy bf!mark x gn!reader, abusive relationships (physical & emotional), angst, stalking, spying, harassment, manipulation, gaslighting.
a/n; i am super late but mark would have tHEE prettiest dick ever !! & i'll prove it!!!! in fact, his dick is SO pretty you'd let him do heinous things if it meant having it in your mouth teehee 🫶🏾🫶🏾 (& because i am not normal: i went on a tangent .. ik ik you didn't ask for this.. lemme alone!!! )
bf! mark who you always wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to. who'd always hide his snide comments under a playful half smile and the guise of it being "just a joke".
bf!mark who'd tell you not to worry about his relationships with other people. who'd say you were just being insecure and that he didn't know how to be with someone that like you. bf!mark who'd always make you cry whenever you voiced your opinions because he always made you feel so stupid, didn't he?
bf! mark who soon turns into exbf!mark because one day he just .. loses it. or at least, that was his excuse.
you've lost your temper many times before. with others. with him. but his anger is much more different than your own.
your anger simmers: the first symptoms of a poison muddying your mind with annoyance. the type that renders you silent with a lump in your throat. your tongue swollen with words unsaid because. . you know better. and your parent(s) had warned you time and time again about being cautious of what you say to those you love.
mark's anger is a roaring boil. explosive with scalding steam.
mark's anger is a burning fire caused by popping oil and you're the water who was naively thrown onto it in order to extinguish it. his anger is just as unpredictable as it is brief. and although you were used to the smallest of inconveniences turning into shouting matches, you thought you had mark all figured out.
plead your case. stand your ground.
wither.
apologize.
admit you were wrong.
even if you were sure you weren't.
it was the only way you could end your arguments. and you were good at playing that game. until you weren't. until the eggshells you were walking on cut the soles of your feet. up until that point, you'd never seen mark's ego so hurt.
and the backhand he gives you sends you to the ground with your right ear ringing.
as soon as you hit the floor, he's on his knees before you, cradling your face, so inconsolable anyone would've thought you hit him.
the soft press of his kisses, peppering across your face contrast with the burning sting of your cheek as he murmurs, "i don't know what got into me! i just get so angry - i swear i didn't mean to hit you that hard!"
and as you stared at him with a blank expression, your mind raced, trying to find an excuse as to what could've warranted that reaction. but for the first time, your mind went blank. and although you nodded along with his apologies and allowed him to wipe the tears from your eyes, you knew there was nothing mark could do to fix it.
you let him think everything was ok. you smile at his jokes and let him cuddle you in his sleep. . even if his hands always found themselves wrapped around your throat.
then, one day, you just. . disappear. block him from everything and register to online classes instead of in person. you stuff his 'borrowed' hoodies and expensive gifts in a garbage bag and leave it in front of his dorm.
you even go as far as to donate all the stuffed animals he gave you.
well. .
almost all.
there is one you specifically like. mostly because debbie was the one who picked it out for you. you always had a soft spot for her.
you still do. so much so that, despite the fact that you want nothing to do with mark - and the fact that you're terrified of him - you find yourself missing her.
so you keep it.
and, sure, you know there's a psychology book somewhere stating it hinders your ability to truly move on. and maybe it's right.
maybe looking at it makes your brain revert back to bittersweet memories of mark and debbie. the way she'd made her home a safe space. you're sure she'd be ashamed to find out of everything mark put you through. but you decide to keep your distance. keep the peace, and all. you couldn't bare telling her why the two of you broke up.
but you still have the text message she sent you.
i'm sorry things didn't work out. you were good for mark. we miss you.
little do you know: the stuffed animal was mark's favorite, too.
but not for the same sappy reason.
& yes, it's because he placed a tiny camera into the cute bear :)
it was a risky move but you were far too predictable. his mother was practically a saint to you. he couldn't imagine you throwing her gift away. after all, what had she ever done to you? thank god for debbie.
now, he doesn't have to be with you to watch you cuddle the stuffed toy. he doesn't have to stand underneath your window to hear you sob into its soft fur. and it's addicting, really, watching you just be in the comfort of your room because you've completely exiled him from your life. and really, who do you think you are? you make him angry enough to hit you and you're the victim?
you didn't know how and when to keep your mouth shut. that's something you should learn. and seeing as how your parent(s) hadn't sat you down and talked to you about it. . mark figured he'd be the one to teach you that lesson.
but you're spoiled.
you're sensitive.
and you obviously don't take kindly to discipline.
and as much as he loves to keep his little secret of watching you on his phone screen. . it kills him to know you won't let him anywhere near you.
but don't forget it: you still belong to him <3 and in any moment that he wants you, he could very easily have you.
Tumblr media
one night, with the plushie at the foot of your bed, he watches you squirm. his brows furrow, rolling onto his stomach, getting comfortable as he stares at his phone screen, wondering if you're having a nightmare. the night vision camera captures the way your body moves, every toss and turn. . and then. . every miniscule roll of your hips.
he watches you kick off the blankets and he feels his cock throb in his sweatpants when he sees you aren't wearing any bottoms. . . or underwear. his hands are shaking as he watches you begin to touch yourself. and the sounds you make have him so enraptured that he barely registers when he starts to grind against the bed.
you must feel vulnerable. . watched? . . because you grab the plushie. but you don't just chuck it away. you don't look directly into its eyes and call mark an asshole like he feels you will. no. instead, you hug the stuffed toy to your chest. and even though mark can't see a damn thing anymore - you're covering the camera, fuck - he can hear you perfectly now.
the way your breath hitches and hiccups. your whines, the gasps, the faint whispers he has to strain to listen to. . incoherent whimpers of please and yes, and as he humps his bed. . it's the whisper of his name that throws him over the edge.
Tumblr media
a few days later, you receive a message from a strange number with a video attached to it.
in hindsight, you should know better. you've been on the internet long enough to know not everything is meant to be clicked on. but for some reason, you don't think twice to open it.
on the screen, you only see a white light, before you realize it's a flashlight from a phone.
and then a cock comes into view.
you're far too surprised to turn your phone off.
it's so hard it looks painful.
it's thick, thick enough that the fist that comes into view doesn't completely wrap around it. the head an angry red, a drop of pre beading from the tip.
the fist gives a few experimental strokes, then up to the head, where it squeezes, milking, and the drop of precum smudges and dribbles across knuckles. the hand slides down again, and cups the tan, plump, balls at the base.
you hear a groan. and something about it makes you throb. you can't quite put your finger on why. . but you find yourself too transfixed to look away.
you watch as the stranger strokes their cock with growing fervor and the way their hand moves gives you a familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach. there's a small voice in the back of your mind, whispering could it be. your face scrunches up in disgust but you still can't tear your eyes away from your phone screen. nor can you deny the way as your heart picks up speed.
it's only when you hear his voice that your suspicions are confirmed,
"miss you so bad, baby." mark's voice drawls, the breathy words cut off by a groan. "need you here with me again."
you should block him.
you should change your number. your fucking government name and area code if necessary.
you should delete the message, turn off your phone, and be over the whole situation but you don't. his whines and moans arouse you like some sort of fucked up pavlovian response and before you know it, your hands are working along with his.
you'll regret this. the little voice tells you matter-of-factly when you pick up speed the same time he does.
you'll regret this. it hisses when your breath catches in your throat. when your face burns as you close your eyes and work yourself in a frenzy, hips rolling, imagining . . wishing . . mark was there with you, too.
you'll regret this. when you muffle a cry of his name with the palm of your hand when you hear the soft, expletive filled whispers of his orgasm. he sounds so good. so pitiful it reminds you of the first few times the two of you were intimate. times in which mark pretended he was gentle and sweet. when he pretended the hickies he sucked into your neck were purely accidental.
he sounds like your mark.
you'll regret this. this time, the voice sounds tired. like a disappointed friend at their wits end, trying to talk you down from relapsing from an addiction.
the voice goes silent.
obviously tired of you once you save the unknown number into your contacts.
181 notes · View notes
imisscherryboy-blog · 8 months
Text
running back 2 u
enemies to lovers — football player! ajax x sports med! gn reader
part 2 part 3
spotify playlist ★
story: you and ajax have known each other since elementary school. those years haven’t been always the best, as you both parted ways due to your differences in personality. that is, until one hot august night, where the stadium lights illuminate the turf, you find yourself running back to him again.
notes: enemies to lovers, modern au, gender neutral reader, childe is referred to as ajax, last name tartaglia, american football, all characters are 18+ as seniors, highschool setting, use of american education system, reader is in a sports medicine class (if you don’t know what that is it’s basically students that help out at school games, usually water girls/boys/people, assist with injuries) i wrote this with the pov of the reader being a POC but if you’re not just disregard when i say white and stuff lmao + part 1/?, title is an nct reference, debating eventual smut, kaveh and alhaitham are gay
side characters featured: kaveh, alhaitham (alhaitham x kaveh)
warnings: swearing, vivid depiction/description of injury
★ part 1 of an ongoing series ★
Tumblr media
you hated ajax and ajax hated you. that much was safe to say. ever since that incident in 9th grade, you never talked to him, let alone acknowledged him. before that, you both had known each other since elementary school. everybody loved ajax, his teachers, his peers, and even you. he just had that personality that made everyone love him; but you knew him underneath that persona. you knew his flaws and he knew yours. he’d tell you things he’d never tell anyone, he trusted you. but, all good things come to an end. in the summer going into your first year at highschool, you found yourself never wanting to speak to him again. he ultimately became the person you two would make fun of together in prior years. a typical, white, football player. but damn was he a good running back. he used to be so charming, but now he was just a playboy that had a new girl in his bed every week. you hated him for it, you hated the person he became, but you mostly hated how he’d plague your mind like a disease.
the day of the game finally came. you and kaveh both wore your school’s varsity jackets and jeans. you guys trudged the god foresaken orange gatorade cooler out to the field for the junior varsity and freshman team. the jv game had just finished, and you began setting up for the varsity game.
“y/n, i can tell you’re scared about ajax.”
“wow kaveh, you’re sooo observant.” you said sarcastically as you both were now in the utility room, filling the water bottles for the players.
“listen, you probably won’t even have to talk to him. as much as he likes to talk behind your back, he’s scared of you. you literally know EVERYTHING about him, you could ruin his reputation in milliseconds.” kaveh had a point. you knew his deepest and darkest secrets, but he unfortunately knew yours as well. you screwed the last lid of the water bottle on tighter than usual as you responded.
“thanks kaveh, but promise me you’ll be the one giving him his water, not me.” kaveh laughed as you said this.
“i’d actually be more than happy too! he’s pretty fine anyways…”
“kaveh— please.” you sighed as kaveh only laughed louder. you walked out to the field, the sky a pretty hue of pink as the jv players left and students filed in the bleachers for the real game. you made your way to the bench, right next to the field and placed the water bottle trays down, as cheering filled the stadium, you both looked behind you.
“ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, our undefeated, five-time league winners, the varsity football team!” the announcer said as the cheers only got louder. the varsity boys ran onto the field, ajax leading the team. you rolled your eyes. you’d admit, he looked good in the navy blue and white jersey, adorning the number 11. ajax was the captain and star of the team, his stats practically outdid any other running back in the county. he ranked first for almost every category, he was a good running back, you’d give him that at least. but at that moment, a feeling came over you. you felt jealous. jealous of the new cheerleader girl he was seeing, jealous of his success, you irrevocably hated him.
“god alhaitham looks good.” kaveh said, very much distracted when they began to sing the national anthem.
“you’re shameless, kaveh.”
“well, the national anthem definitely did not include gay people so…”
the game began, and the annoying and repetitive chants from the cheerleaders almost got stuck in your head. they even had a special one for their glorious star boy tartaglia! you could give zero fucks about him and his stupid chant, but you couldn’t help but notice him staring you down as the rival team took a time out. he gulped his water, sweat dripping from his slicked-back hair, before returning back to the field. as promised, it was kaveh’s job to offer him water, not yours. when one team scored, the other followed suit, the game was neck and neck. watching ajax skillfully receive alhaitham’s (the quarterback) throws and run it was something you could watch all day. but you hated him, so you pretended to look busy every time the home team ran a point. it was halftime now, and you and kaveh hung around the bench. they were up by only two points, it was practically anyone’s game, but that’s what makes the epic highs and lows of highschool football, right?
“swear to god, ajax keeps looking at you.” kaveh whispered to you as you refilled the green water bottles. the boys went into the team room as you and kaveh stayed outside. ajax’s fan girls in the stands had finally calmed down. you just looked at him and looked away as you continued to fill up the water. “like, every time he scores a touch down, he’ll do his stupid little celebration and he’ll glance over here—and then i’d look at you, and of course—‘oh, she’s trying to look distracted and pretend to not care again!’.” kaveh rolled his eyes at you, looking at you for an answer. “you still care about him, don’t you?” this time, you didn’t look at him and just stared at the bottle.
“yeah, like i’d give two shits about the school fuck boy. it’s just, i can’t help but remember how he used to be, that’s all.” it was a blatant lie, and kaveh knew. but he decided to stop pressing where it hurts. and just like that, half time was over and the team looked spent, but they still had 30 minutes to clutch. the cheers started up again. another touchdown, and chants of his name were the only things heard in the stadium. you felt surrounded. you just wanted to go home.
finally, the seventh minute began. the scoreboard emitting a soft glow displayed both home and away teams tied. everyone on the bleachers were all sat for these final minutes. including you. you watched intently with kaveh and your sports med teacher on the bench as they hiked the ball.
“alhaitham, number 9 is going for a throw,” the commentator’s voice reverberated through the field. alhaitham spots ajax, right on the 30 yard line, centered on the field. alhaitham takes a couple steps back and throws, the ball spins with accuracy. the crowd and kaveh all cheer.
“a dot! per usual from quarter back alhaitham, how many yards can their star running back score for the team!” ajax grabbed the ball and went for a right hook, swiftly dodging the defenders. he only got faster and faster as the cheers grew louder. he hooked right, and made his way for that touch down line.
“ajax! ajax! ajax!” the crowd chanted as kaveh and your teacher were now standing. you watched him closely, all of a sudden remembering back to when the two of you competed in your middle school’s flag football tournament. he had signed you up without you knowing, and you both somehow cinched first place.
“oh my god—” kaveh’s gasp snapped you out of your thoughts, as you looked onto the field.
the bleachers were silent now. ajax laid on his side, clutching his knee. the ball was long forgotten now.
“it appears number 11 is down.” the commentator remarked. your heart sank to your ass. you knew that knee injuries could fuck up anyone’s career in seconds. especially a running back’s. before you knew it, you were standing, your teacher yelled something to kaveh as he began running toward him to see what happened, you stood frozen. the cries of his fan girls behind you were the only things you could hear, kaveh was trying to tell you something, but you kept looking at ajax’s writhing body and back to kaveh, and back to ajax, and now at the rival team, and back to kaveh.
“y/n! are you listening? this is serious!” kaveh’s voice was almost a yell.
“i-i’m sorry, what do you need me to do?” you blinked a couple times.
“get the ice pack!” he yelled as kaveh made his way to the scene, the rival team went back to their bench as they were in small groups, most likely talking about what happened. you grabbed the ice pack from the cooler and ran over. his eyes were screwed shut as he cursed loudly, your teacher asking where it hurt.
“ah fuck, my knee! motherfu—” ajax bit back his curses with the back of his hand. your teacher radioed for a golf cart, which made you confused because you’d think someone would be calling 911.
“shouldn’t we be calling an ambulance..?” alhaitham asked, kneeling next to kaveh and ajax’s head. kaveh visibly looked flustered.
“y-yeah. we should! as a matter of fact, why don’t i just call them right—” your teacher cut kaveh off as he interjected.
“it’s a torn acl, if we call an ambulance right now, all they’ll do is give him some ice and painkillers which we very much have. we’re not spending 6k for an ice pack. save that money for the surgery.” your teacher remarked.
“the what..?” ajax looked at him with wide eyes as a campus supervisor came with a golf cart, the crowd was at a stand still.
“kaveh, stay here and take over for me. y/n, come with me.” you knew ajax’s injury was nothing life threatening, but you couldn’t help but worry for his future. you nodded your head as you and your teacher got into the front seat of the golf cart, cursing kaveh in your head, wishing it was him to take your place. ajax’s teammates carefully laid him on the golf cart and he cursed at them to be more careful. you rolled your eyes.
“ajax, we’re gonna need you to talk to us, we can’t have you passing out.” your teacher drove the golf cart to the recovery room, making sure to drive slowly over any bumps.
“you want me to talk? well, a torn acl is gonna ruin my goddamn career—fuck!” the golf cart jerked forward a little, making him curse.
“it’s probably not completely torn, ajax. you’ll recover in no time.” your teacher said.
“you’ll probably be out for the season.” you added, you couldn’t help but add a little salt in the wound.
“you’ll be out for the fucking year if you don’t shut the fuck up.” ajax snapped back at you.
“you need some ice dipshit?” you turned around with the ice pack and tossed it onto his knee, making him yell out in pain.
“what the FUCK is wrong with you—” he yelped in pain again, you just rolled your eyes.
“y/n! cut it out! you too, ajax. we’re here.” the teacher took the key out of the golf cart and looked at you. “i need to call his parents and file a report for the insurance, i’m trusting you to patch any cuts and tape his knee for the time being. keep the ice on it—and please don’t assault him.” your teacher was already on their way as they headed towards the office. you didn’t even get a minute to protest.
“no fucking way they just left me with this loser.” ajax scoffed from the back seat of the golf cart.
“at least my knee still works.” you grabbed the key and unlocked the recovery room, it had a couple of medical beds and cabinets filled with all kinds of medical equipment. you turned the lights on as you heard ajax outside yell.
“now you’re just leaving me? jesus, i couldn’t have asked for someone better to help me.” you ignored him as that was not what you were doing. you went to the smaller room in the back to get a wheelchair to get him onto one of the beds. you walked back outside, ajax’s face turned from one of pain to an angered look the minute you stepped outside. you wheeled the wheel chair to him.
“get on.” you said with little to no remorse.
“yeah let me just fly onto the fucking wheel chair why not. can you help me?” ajax yelled as he tried to sit up straight on the back seat. you scoffed and somehow got him onto the wheel chair. you both were silent, but you knew when ajax went quiet, he was overthinking. you knew he was thinking about what he’d do with his injury. you decided to give him something else to think about.
“it’s not that bad ajax. you survived skateboarding into a brick wall, i’m sure you’ll be fine.” you brought up an old memory the both of you shared.
“everyone saw. even the fucking scouters—i’m done for.” your words seemed to fly past his head. almost like he forgot about you and his’ history. you helped him onto the medical bed and made him sit straight so you could tape his knee. you went into the back room to get more ice. from the main room, you heard him start talking again.
“when i ran into that brick wall, you were the only one there. i didn’t have scouters that could get me d1 scholarships.” he remarked. he did remember at least. you came back with a roll of medical tape and some ice.
“you need to roll you pants up past your knee.” you went for the straight forward route as anything else would’ve gotten too awkward.
“yeah no fucking way that’s happening, cut it off for all i care.” you figured getting the leg of the pants over his injury wouldn’t be the most best of things, so you grabbed a pair of scissors and cut his pants just above his thigh. he hissed in pain even though you didn’t even touch it. he was always this dramatic, you thought to yourself. you unrolled the pieces of tape and got to work. if ajax was good at football, you were the best at sports medicine. you knew how to wrap an ankle like second nature—a big part of the reason why your teacher asked you to assist, not kaveh. he went quiet again, and you’d much rather have him yelling at you than overthinking the situation after all this.
“how’s teucer?” you asked as he hissed whenever you’d place a piece of tape on his knee.
“w-why do you care? can you be any more gentle?” you looked up at him and kept working. you weren’t any gentler, you just worked slower to make it look like you were. he fell for it easily.
“he’s fine. he just graduated elementary—ow, school.” he responded after a minute passed.
“that’s good.” you said in quieter-than-usual tone. you couldn’t deny it was still awkward between you two. you hadn’t had a conversation like this in practically years, and you never thought you would have to. “so what exactly happened out there? you trip or something?” you knew he didn’t trip. you also knew that ajax had a tendency to overestimate himself, overall causing him more harm than good.
“the turf must’ve been off.” he said looking away. ajax was well aware he let himself get cocky. it was the final minutes of the game and he wanted to end it off strong. in doing so, he got himself a torn acl. good going ajax.
“mhm..”
“what? don’t believe me?” before you could answer the question, your teacher walked in. the first thing ajax asked was if they won the game or not. his “half touchdown” didn’t count, leaving them still tied.
“we won. but it was still a close call.”
ajax looked like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. he was already upset with his injury, and a loss especially with their title as undefeated would be 10x worse. you tried to look normal, but in truth, you were a little happy for the team. after all, you had some sense of school pride.
“your mom is outside. i’ve talked to her already and explained the injury in length. please focus on resting, then let’s talk about your next games.” with that, your teacher left you both alone again.
“can you walk?” you asked.
“i’ll try.” he said wincing as he got up. you went to his side and put his arm around you. it was silent. you helped him to the parking lot, occasional swears were heard from him. you said his mom waiting outside of the car.
“oh sweetie!” ajax’s mom held him tightly.
“hi mom, i’m fine.” his words were muffled into her shoulder.
“oh goodness, let’s get you in the car!” she helped him into the passanger seat. they spoke to each other in russian, it sounded like he was getting scolded. it was none of your business anyway. after doing so, she came back out.
“y/n? i remember you!” she said, giving you a hug.
“hi mrs tartaglia.” ajax’s mom had a soft spot for you. she’d always pack you extra food, and would never fail to treat you like one of her own, it made you happy. due to the circumstances, you hadn’t seen her in what felt like years.
“how’ve you been? we’ve missed you!” her hand stayed on your shoulder, her voice was genuine. but who exactly did she mean by “we”?
“i’ve been alright, thanks for asking.”
“ajax still talks about you, you should come over some time! teucer and tonia miss you!”
huh?
did you hear that right?
maybe it she didn’t actually mean it like that, why would ajax still be talking about you?
ajax rolled down the window and stuck his head out.
“mom i’m hurting let’s go.” he half shouted.
“alright, alright. i’ll see you soon hopefully, y/n! thank you for looking after ajax!” she said with a warm smile as she got back in the car before you could say a word. you simply waved and smiled back at her. you glanced over for a second, seeing ajax on his phone. you didn’t understand. did ajax really stil talk about you? you’d have a lot to tell kaveh..
the two of them left the parking lot in their black tahoe suv. you just stood and watched. you cursed to yourself. you couldn’t understand why ajax’s words pulled at your heartstrings a little. you were confused. and things would only get more confusing from there.
297 notes · View notes
icequeenbae · 5 months
Text
Boy Next Door (m) Ch.1 | BBH
Tumblr media
Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader
Neighbor AU, slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut
Warnings [whole story]: Baek being the neighbor we’re all dreaming of, harassment (nothing graphic), a bit of body image/ insecurity, MC sucks at relationships, explicit content, unprotected sex
Word Count: ~18.5k (total), 4.5k (pt.1)
Summary: Your neighbor Baekhyun has been a pleasant acquaintance since you moved into your current apartment almost a year ago. Could he also be… a perfect match?
© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.
Chapter Masterlist: Pt. 1 > Pt. 2 > Pt. 3 > Pt. 4 (fin)
Author’s note: This has taken me so, SO long to write and edit that I cannot believe the time has come to post it lmao I just wanted to write something simple with the classic boy-next-door vibe but as usual, the story ended up being much longer than planned and I am going to post it as a mini-series. Please keep in mind that your feedback is what motivates me to write and post more <3 And biiig thanks to the lovely @beomcoups for taking on the beta duties on this whole story~
Network Tags: @bbh-net  @k-vanity  @ksmutsociety
Tumblr media
PART 1
In the lobby or on your floor – those were the two locations where you’d been bumping into Baekhyun most often. Which wasn’t that strange, considering that you were neighbors. But it somehow always caught you off guard and left you flustered.
Just like the first time.
It happened almost a year ago when you were waiting for the elevator on the first floor of your building with your best friend Yuki, who came early to help you with preparations. A guy in a loose white dress shirt and jeans stepped into the elevator with you, politely greeting you before pressing his floor number.
‘Oh, you live on the 13th as well? So, you and our Y/N are neighbors!’ Yuki exclaimed.
‘Nice to meet you,’ you muttered and bowed, shy from the sudden introduction. He reciprocated, chocolate hair falling into his eyes charmingly.
‘You should come to her housewarming party! It’s in a couple hours,’ Yuki chimed in again. ‘You don’t need to bring anything, it’s just a small thing with a couple friends and neighbors. We’re making sure Y/N-ie settles in nicely here. So please come, we have tons of food!’
If anyone could ever say no to your friend… Well, you had never met such a person. You guessed that Baekhyun was simply too stunned by her enthusiasm, so he said he’d swing by for sure. In a way, you were thankful that she’d asked him – you’d have never had the guts to invite someone like that; especially not anyone as good-looking and cool as Baekhyun.
You regretted letting your bestie invite him the following evening when your party was in full swing for several hours. Most of the food was devoured, so now you were all drinking, crunching on snacks, and conversing; or trying to while jumping from one topic to another.
‘I wish we could gather more often. We all like to hang out with you, you know?’
As always, Yuki nagged at you for being too ‘stay-at-home’ of a friend.
‘I like to hang out too. But home is home. You know parties aren’t really my… favorite pastime.’
‘What is your favorite pastime, lying in bed cuddling your blanket?’ Chanyeol joked insensitively.
He should’ve known better since you were the most troubled in your group of friends regarding relationships. It was super tough for you to find a match, even when you made an effort to get out of the house and meet new people, mostly because of your history of failed relationships where your partners gained interest in someone else. It seemed like you were too plain to hold someone’s attention for long. So, you’d been ‘that single friend’ for several lonely years now. And at this time, you were actually in the very beginning of a new, promising relationship. You were still pretty insecure about it; thus, Yeol’s comment really did make you flinch. He was drunk, so that was understandable, but you still sulked at his words, mainly because they were true.
‘Hey, it doesn’t have to be a blanket.’ You frowned, pressing the straw to your lips in frustration.
‘I’m kinda sad that guy you’ve been talking to couldn’t come,’ Yuki interjected. ‘I wanted to find out what he’s like.’
‘Minho had work-related travel, so he’s resting up.’ You shrugged, sipping your drink timidly.
‘I’m sure the guy made this excuse just to avoid meeting your friends. How long have you known him for, like, two days?’ Chanyeol interjected.
‘It’s been a few weeks, actually,’ you corrected, and Hoseok, Yuki’s boyfriend, muttered a reproaching ‘hyung’ in his direction.
‘Gosh, you’re really this stupid while drunk,’ Yuki shook her head disapprovingly at your friend, who simply shrugged.
Baekhyun was pretty silent during the latest exchange, so when you briefly made eye contact, it reminded you that he could also hear all of that chatter. Which made you want to choke on your drink from humiliation. Thankfully, one of your friends still had some tact left that night, so they quickly changed the direction of the conversation. Still… you’d been mortified for weeks after the event, doing your best to avoid bumping into Baekhyun when leaving for work.
***
The next time you met, Baekhyun was also in the lobby of your apartment building. And once again, before a gathering at your place. Just days prior you had lost it and left your resignation letter at your boss's desk. Working such long hours under the constant pressure of absolutely unrealistic deadlines was taking its toll on you for sure. But when you found out they promoted a person, who was obviously less experienced and capable than you in working (but more capable in flirting with your manager), instead of you… It became the last straw.
Baekhyun appeared right on time as you struggled to push the elevator button with a whole case of beer in your hands.
‘Y/N,’ you heard his velvety voice call. ‘Nice to see you.’
‘Oh- Hi, Baekhyun.’ You greeted awkwardly, puffing from the weight you had to balance.
‘Let me help you with that?’ His suggestion sounded like a question, yet he instantly scooped the case from your hands.
‘You don’t need- thank you,’ you said, and he shook his head to indicate that it wasn’t a big deal.
‘So… having a party again?’ He asked as the elevator doors closed.
‘I wouldn’t call it a party,’ you hummed, looking at your feet. ‘I kinda had to quit my horrible job of 4 years, so my friends are making me celebrate it. Not that becoming unemployed calls for a celebration…’
You trailed off, not wanting to be a nuisance to your neighbor. He was just making small talk.
‘I’m sorry to hear that. Are you taking a break now or looking for something else?’
‘I’ll start looking next week. It’s Friday, my friends are coming… So I’ll try to just clear my mind and rest for one full weekend before I start stressing about a new job. Hopefully, my friends wouldn’t talk my ear off about it – that’s what the beer’s for. My little trick,’ you chuckled sheepishly.
‘Aren’t your friends supposed to treat you in this situation?’ Baekhyun huffed, shaking his head to rearrange his hair and better see you.
‘They should… bring more alcohol with them, I think. I couldn’t have them over for nothing, though.’
The doors opened after a robotic voice announced your floor.
‘Well, anyhow. Thanks a lot for your help!’ You tried taking the beer from Baekhyun, but he didn’t let you.
‘Open the door first; you can’t do it while holding this.’
‘Right. Thanks,’ you fussed, pressing your password in.
Baekhyun quickly placed the case on the floor of your hallway.
‘You should come!’ You blurted out, instantly getting flustered. ‘If you want.’
‘I might drop by if I’m free,’ he smiled softly. ‘My family wanted to have a video call later. That may take long.’
‘Of course. Have fun!’ You nodded, beating yourself up in your mind for being so weird suddenly.
‘You have fun,’ he chuckled, stepping towards his apartment. ‘Oh, and Y/N?’
Looking up at him as he called your name, you were met with his warm yet serious eyes.
‘If you need anything… You know where to find me.’
That made you strangely sentimental.
‘T-thank you.’
He sent you a message later on and let you know he couldn’t make it to your party. But in a way, he was there – on your mind.
***
It was about three weeks after you’d broken things off with Minho. If you could even consider it one, the relationship wasn’t long, only a couple months. At first, you thought it could be something, realizing later that it was only wishful thinking. There was no way the two of you could make it work; you were just not compatible with each other. The more you got to know him, the more you were reassured of that. Your life goals were different, your outlook on relationships was different… even your ideas of quality time with a significant other didn’t match. This time, the initial infatuation wore off rather quickly – probably because you didn’t go out of your way to appease him. You knew it was probably for the better. Pretty much all of your relationships ended the same way, with your boyfriends telling you they found someone else. Someone… more exciting.
This was the case for your first relationship halfway in your first year of university.
‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I just don’t feel the spark, you know? You’re so… domestic,’ your then-boyfriend said in his breakup speech. ‘I’m young, I want to experience stuff, be bold, and have fun. And there are people that I can do this with, who’ll also enjoy it.’
It repeated less than two years later when you’d barely worked up the courage to try and start something with another person. When it happened the third time, you decided you weren’t really made for relationships. It was ironic since you always wanted to be in one. You were very affectionate and were keen on taking care of people. Yes, you weren’t that into big gatherings and parties, and maybe it was a little too difficult to drag you anywhere when you were stressing about the upcoming tests and stuff… But you weren’t completely closed off! Even with those limitations, you were very sociable and had many friends. Was it so bad that you didn’t say yes to every suggestion? Did your inclination to stay at home and have cozy dates instead of outdoorsy stuff make you a non-relationship material? It seemed like every time someone else appeared, your boyfriends easily decided to move on.
And even though you weren’t in love with Minho, this breakup still made you sour. What made this particular day suck was that you’d found out that he was already in a new relationship; happily broadcasting it everywhere.
You weren’t jealous of him for being with someone else. You envied him for being able to find another partner in mere days after you parted ways, while for you, it felt like you’d never find or be able to retain anyone. Ever. Never ever.
‘Earth to Y/N!’ You jumped from someone’s voice ringing in your ears.
Looking up, you saw that the elevator doors were held open by your dashing neighbor, who was staring directly at you.
‘Sorry, I spaced out,’ you quickly entered. ‘Hi.’
‘Hey,’ Baekhyun smiled, pressing the button for your floor. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Um, yeah. No. I mean-’ You sighed. ‘I’m just a bit out of sorts.’
‘Trouble at work?’
‘No, my new job is great. A huge improvement on the previous one. It’s just… everything else is not nearly as great?’
Yeah, because you pushed yourself to get back on the market to finally not be alone, and here you were. Back to square one.The sniffling you produced startled even your own self.
‘Oh god, I’m sorry.’
‘It’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry about,’ he replied, his voice gentle. ‘Do you want to talk?’
‘Oh no, I wouldn’t dream about boring you with my stupid problems.’
‘I’m sure they aren’t stupid,’ he said. ‘And I have ice cream. Almost any flavor you could think of.’
You looked at him silently, and he smiled again reassuringly.
‘It’s not mandatory for you to tell me anything. But I can treat my favorite neighbor with some ice cream, can I not?’
‘Am I your favorite just because you don’t know anyone else?’ You snickered gawkily.
‘No. Not just-’
He was interrupted by the usual announcement of your floor.
‘So, what do you think? You can change first and then come, no hurry. I’m free tonight.’
You puckered your lips, genuinely intrigued by his offer. Ice cream sounded perfect right about now. Although agreeing just because of the promised treats was pretty childish, you couldn’t help but be seduced by his suggestion. So, you gave him a shy nod.
‘Okay. Throw on something comfy and come over.’
You entered your respective apartments, and only after the door behind you locked… you realized that your heart was racing.
‘Damn you, Y/N, why did you agree to do this??’ You whined, catching a glimpse of your scrunched-up face in the mirror.
Fishing your phone out of your handbag quickly, you messaged Yuki.
You | I fucked up, Yu!!
You | Idk what to do now…. ㅠㅠ
Ki-yaah | What happened?? Did you like a pic on Minho’s new gf’s SNS??
Ki-yaah | I’m so dumb for telling you about this… I’m so sorry Y/N ㅠㅠ
You | No, not that
You | Who cares about Minho and his girlfriend??
You | I mean, I was a bit salty about this… But I met Baekhyun again!
Ki-yaah | Baekhyun? Your cute as fuck neighbor Baekhyun??
You | No
You | Yes?
You | My neighbor Baekhyun. I blurted out that I wasn’t in the greatest mood, and he invited me to his place for ice cream!
Ki-yaah | WHAT
Ki-yaah | YAH
Ki-yaah | THAT SLEEK BASTARD
Ki-yaah | I hope you’re texting me from his couch
Ki-yaah | Or kitchen counter
Ki-yaah | Or wherever you kids decide to do it
A bunch of obscene emojis appeared on your screen, making you blush on the spot.
You | Do it?? We’re not doing anything. I’m home!
Ki-yaah | So, you’ve already done it?? HOW WAS IT??
Ki-yaah | Waaah, you’re quick these days, Y/N-ah! Finally, you’re learning your lessons
Ki-yaah | I hope you wrapped it up though
Ki-yaah | I wouldn’t blame you if you skipped it, though, I can imagine how starved you are on good sex.. Still, safety first!
Ki-yaah | Wait, so was he?? Any good??
Ki-yaah | You’re silent!
She typed so fast that you didn’t even have a second to write back, mostly from shock – your friend wasn’t always this shameless, actually.
Then she started calling.
‘Yah, why aren’t you spilling the beans?? Too worn out to type, bestie?’ She smirked on the phone, making you cringe.
‘Because there’s nothing to spill! I haven’t even gone over yet.’
There was a second of silence.
‘… What?!’
‘I have to change; I just came from work, you know? My makeup needs fixing too…’
Your phone instantly started vibrating as a video call request came in, which you begrudgingly accepted.
‘Damn, you can’t go like this. It’s not seductive at all!’ She exclaimed.
‘I’m not going over to seduce anyone! And he told me to wear something comfy…’
‘What?? Hm, actually…’ She tapped her index finger on her chin, deep in thought. ‘He does look like the type to be into that.’
‘I-into what?’
‘Cute girls! I told you already, he was probably crushing on you since the time he came to your housewarming party!’
‘Pfft, that’s ridiculous. And don’t bring up him allegedly glaring at Yeol for his stupid comments again, I beg of you!’
‘Alright. But he’s always so nice to you! Oh-Em-Gee, you’d look so cute together,’ she squealed.
‘I don’t have time for this. I can’t have him waiting for much longer, and I need to shower…’
‘Yes! And remove your makeup while you’re at it.’
‘Huh?? If I redo my makeup… isn’t it gonna look strange? Like I’m trying too hard?’
‘You won’t have to redo it. You’ll have only very basic nude makeup on. Looking all natural and cute.’
‘I swear, if you say ‘cute’ one more time-’
‘Can’t a girl dream?? I can already imagine how cute your children would be…’ Your friend kept musing.
‘I’m hanging up.’
‘Yah, take this seriously. Clean up nicely, and let your hair down. Also, shave your-’
‘Yuki!!’
‘You never know!! One second, he’s licking ice cream off his spoon; the other, he’s l-’
Quickly tapping on your phone screen, you canceled this embarrassing call. The vivid images didn’t leave your mind as fast, though, so you shivered, shaking your head to get rid of the obscenities.
‘She’s a bad influence, for sure,’ you muttered, still ashamed of yourself for imagining your neighbor in such a context.
The time was ticking, so you decided that Yuki was somewhat right and needed to clean up. You also needed to hurry the heck up; you didn’t want to make Baekhyun wait too long. Thirty minutes later, you were in front of his door.
‘Come in, come in,’ he ushered you inside, having you change your footwear for the pink house slippers.
Why did he have those again?
‘Cute, right? I ordered them for my niece and got the size completely wrong, but they fit you perfectly. I guess I wasn’t wrong after all.’
He looked at your feet for another second before blinking and clearing his throat.
‘Let’s not waste any more time, everything’s ready. Come on!’
Everything? Did he prepare a whole reception?
You took a good look at the back of his head as he walked you to his kitchen, noticing that his hair was slightly wet. Did he also shower? You swallowed at the thought. He probably didn’t invest as much time into the preparations as you did, though. You blamed your best friend for the inappropriate thought she planted in your head!
‘Here, take a look.’
He opened his freezer, and you gasped.
There was an entire collection of ice cream. Cones, popsicles, buckets… All different flavors and manufacturers.
‘I see you’re impressed,’ he smirked. ‘I have a niece and a nephew, you know? Kids aren’t easy to please these days.’
‘Can’t deny that I am. How many do you have here?’
‘No idea… I just keep buying them. Which one’s to your liking? You can try different ones. I’m in the mood for mint choco and lemon.’
‘Those are my favorites!’ You jumped up like a kid.
‘Really? Both?’
‘Yeah! I haven’t seen a lemon ice cream anywhere, only sorbets! Where did you find it?’ You closed the freezer as he got the two buckets out.
Baekhyun suddenly seemed pleased with himself.
‘You think I give away trade secrets just like that…’ He replied mysteriously.
‘I wanna buy some too,’ you pouted, circling around him while he took the lids off. ‘If you don’t tell me… I’ll eat all of yours!’
‘Ha, go ahead. There’s more where that came from,’ he teased right back, hovering slightly over you.
Lowering your gaze to avoid staring directly at him, you noticed something.
‘What’s this?’
Baekhyun turned back to the counter.
‘Ah, this old thing? You know how ice cream scoops are sold in paper cups or cones? This thing,’ he picked it up. ‘Is to make those. Watch.’
He dipped the instrument in water and shook it slightly, then scooped the mint ice cream, creating a smooth green ball with tiny pieces of chocolate adding to its hue.
‘Cool,’ you muttered, genuinely finding that fascinating.
‘Right? It’s awesome!’
‘Let me guess: the kids don’t appreciate it enough?’ You asked.
‘Those little- Here, you try with lemon.’ He pressed on a small lever and dropped the green globe into a bowl.
You shook your head.
‘I’ll mess it up; you do it.’
‘Come on, Y/N. You can’t mess it up; it’s just ice cream.’
‘Just ice cream? You don’t deserve to know the secret selling spots for this!’
He snorted, moving to the side to give you more space to try and repeat his previous actions.
You dipped it in water like he did and shook it before moving the lemon ice cream bucket closer. Spending about twenty seconds taking aim, you huffed.
‘I can’t do it! Yours is so round and pretty; I am not that professional.’
‘I’ll help,’ he chuckled at your meltdown, holding your wrist and softly pressing down on your hand to guide it. ‘Scoop it this way to make it full and round.’
You did as you were told, yet your mind was far away from the scooping technique. The entire focus of your being was now set on the unprecedented proximity you were in. He held your hand, his chest so close to your shoulder that you could feel the heat radiating off him. When you dropped a yellow ball of lemon ice cream into the bowl, you could only pray that he didn’t notice the goosebumps littering your arms.
‘See? Yours is even better-shaped than mine,’ he hummed close to your ear.
‘Y-yeah.’
As if sensing your perturbation, Baekhyun suddenly stepped back.
‘Trying just two flavors is a waste of an evening. Let’s get more.’
Ten minutes later, you were sitting in his living room at the small table in front of his couch. The bowl with at least a dozen different ice creams sat atop another one, which was filled with ice.
‘No one likes melted goo, right?’ Baekhyun chuckled while constructing this mobile freezer.
You tried all of them one by one, gushing about each flavor.
‘The grape one isn’t tickling my fancy,’ he said, nudging the oddly-colored glob away.
‘Really?’ You reached for it with your spoon.
‘Don’t even try it. That’s bad,’ he scrunched his nose. ‘I can taste every chemical they used to make this grape flavor.’
You laughed, trying it despite his protests.
‘It tastes like… very cheap jelly,’ you said.
‘Exactly! Such a strange texture. Hmm, I shall look for a better option then. My nephew Siwoo loves grapes.’
You smiled at his concern for his youngest family member’s preferences.
‘Your nephews must be the happiest kids in town with an uncle like that,’ you murmured, stealing a bite from the rest of the lemon ball that he subtly nudged your way earlier.
‘They’re pretty lucky, aren’t they?’ He agreed easily, earning a snicker from you.
As you savored the last of the lemon flavor on your tongue, he leaned in, eyes focused on your lips.
‘You eat just like Siwoo,’ he instinctively wiped your lower lip with his thumb.
Looking up at him, you caught the moment he realized what he was doing and retreated.
‘Sorry,’ he muttered awkwardly. ‘It’s a habit.’
Pressing your finger to your lower lip, which was now burning, you shook your head neutrally.
‘It’s okay. You must spend a lot of time with them,’ you scooped more in your spoon to somehow soothe the burn on your lips.
‘Not as much as I’d like. Most of the time, our schedules don’t match up, especially with them living in a different city. I try to have them over or visit them as much as possible.’
Baekhyun’s voice became warmer as he reminisced.
‘I get scolded by hyung a lot for spoiling them. But what can I do? At least they’ll have those pleasant memories and presents to remember me by while we’re apart.’
‘Are they close in age?’
‘About four years apart. Seoyul is pretty grown already; I can’t believe her little brother is going to school soon as well.’ He smiled, remembering something. ‘When she started her first grade, he was so upset. He cried every time she left the house.’
‘Aw, that’s so cute,’ you cooed. ‘So they’re getting along well?’
‘Yeah, apart from the occasional bickering. Siwoo is… a boy.’
‘A little daredevil?’
‘He’s driving his noona insane sometimes. To be honest, I was exactly the same at his age. We’re both lucky to have siblings several years older.’
‘Ah, so your hyung is much older than you?’
‘Seven years. He was almost like a father,’ Baekhyun chuckled. ‘But had he been even a couple of years younger… Pretty sure he would’ve given me a piece of his mind back then.’
‘I wouldn’t ever imagine that you were a maknae of your family.’
‘Why? I had so much aegyo as a child! Yes, my mom had to exercise lots of patience, but I was cute as hell.’
‘I’m sure that’s how it was,’ you hummed.
‘I’m still in the top-3 cutest of our family list. Might even be cuter than Seoyul at times; she’s way too serious these days.’
‘Wow, going over your nephews’ heads after the title… How mature of you.’
‘Hey, don’t blame me for being extremely cute.’
‘Show me some aegyo then,’ you challenged him with a smile.
‘Huh, you wish. You’re not ready for my aegyo, Y/N-ie.’ He responded sassily.
‘Is that so?’ You smirked, holding his gaze up until the chime of your phone provided an interruption.
Your bestie found a great time to pry into your business, which was evident from the message previews on the screen.
Ki-yaah | You’re not texting me back…
Ki-yaah | Which either means that you chickened out…
Ki-yaah | …or his stamina is REALLY freaking impressive
Ki-yaah | Which one is it??? I hope it’s the latter!
You inhaled sharply and started coughing, barely managing to swipe those messages off the screen before Baekhyun could see them.
‘Are you okay?’ He patted you on the back to help you overcome your coughing fit.
‘Yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t realize it was so late… It was so rude of me to keep you up. Let me help you clean this up.’
‘Leave it,’ he shook his head, catching you by the wrist. ‘I’ll put this away later.’
‘I’ll… get going then,’ you stood so abruptly that your legs couldn’t keep up with you, completely numb from being in the same position for so long.
‘Y/N!’ Baekhyun rose to catch you by the arms. ‘Take a second, sit on the couch. Your legs must’ve fallen asleep.’
You swatted at your legs with your palms, urging the blood flow to restore quicker.
‘Sorry…’
‘Why are you sorry? I’m not in a hurry to get rid of you.’ He stated simply.
‘It’s just so late… and… you must have stuff to do.’
‘Nope. I actually had fun. I rarely get to sit around at home munching on ice cream and enjoying another grownup’s company.’
You bit your lip shyly at his words, and he suddenly tsked.
‘Although I feel like we were mostly talking about me. That’s a shame. I want to hear about you as well,’ Baekhyun mused, walking you to the door. ‘Well, let’s save it for next time.’
Next time, he said.
Next time??
You turned your back on him to conceal the shade of your cheeks and pretended to fidget with the doorknob.
‘Let me,’ he reached over you, pressing his warm chest to your back for a second to unlock the door.
But before you could step outside, his fingers wrapped around your forearm in a lax hold.
‘And Y/N… If you ever find yourself craving some lemon ice cream… I’m ready to provide it.’
With that, he pushed the door open and allowed you to leave his apartment.
Masterlist
Tumblr media
A/N: Thank you for reading! Another BBH mini-series started 💫 I hope you enjoyed part 1~ Pls let me know what you think via comments, asks and reblogs, my darlings 💜 Also, I am very curious if you are picturing anyone in particular as Hoseok hehe 🙃
169 notes · View notes