#<- sort of. i'm mostly just rambling

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

There is a cyclic tragedy inherent to Mori's character wherein he's actually a deeply lonely man, but it's mostly because his resolve to do morally reprehensible things and think of people as pieces on the game board is something he prioritizes over his relations with those very same people, and this inevitably pushes them away (for very understandable reasons). And it kind of sucks honestly because the most frustrating thing about Mori is that he 100% has the potential to be a fantastic teacher and mentor, and more than that, I think he loves it! Just look at Beast! But for as long as he decides he needs to be the one to make "the hard calls" to "preserve peace", then Mori will inevitably continue in this cycle of alienating all the people he has a fondness for.

I do feel as though Mori's loneliness is something he views as a necessary sacrifice that he is making for the greater good (and if he is so willing to sacrifice, then Dazai's unwillingness to do the same comes out of left field because - "what do you mean? you're supposed to be just like me!").

Anyways.

Mori voice: "I'm so alone"

Also Mori: *continues to prioritize pure logic over the emotions of his people and himself*

The people: *get rightly angry and/or become extremely traumatized and leave him*

Mori voice: "I did what needed to be done"

Mori: "..."

Mori: "..."

Mori: "I'm so alone"

Sir. You are doing this to yourself.

[dootznbootz]

This is how Penelope is first PHYSICALLY introduced in the Odyssey as it's when she first speaks.

(Fagles, Book 1)

This is how the other women whom Odysseus gets with (aka assaulted by) are first physically introduced:

(Fagles, Book 10)

(Fagles, Book 5)

The two goddesses are singing during their introduction while the woman he loves says to stop, granted at the bard but I just think it's interesting. I'm definitely thinking it wasn't on purpose by Homer but I wanted to point it out.

Penelope never needs to enchant/sing to Odysseus to "lure" and/or entice him because that's where he wants to be in the first place.

[bitegore]

So seriously: if you have a serious recoil/disgust factor at uncommonly eaten parts of an animal being in any kind of food context (eg: whole fish being served at a table) and you want to work on minimizing that reaction, I really really recommend eating "normal" versions of those unusual foods, like for example deli-sliced tongue. I know I'm talking out of my ass here, but things like liver and haggis (organ meat), tongue (tongue), and probably a whole lot of others I've never had can be pretty easily made into forms that taste real good and don't look much like a weird lump of flesh you can recognize, and being able to get from "that's weird and gross but I want to get it" to "that's weird but it tastes really good and I want to get it" will probably make building up momentum easier when you move on to less "common" pastures.

Good luck, by the way. I believe in you.

[radiostaticcc]

Solitaire

I finished reading Solitaire, and i feel numb now. It's like, Tori was written after me i don't know, it's weird. But also i relate to Micheal a lot and now i just feel numb and a little bit sad because Tori and Micheal are together and i have no one. They have like, this deep friendship throughout the entire book and then they just kiss at the end and for some reason it makes sense, and they're in love in the way i'd want to be in love, and i don't know how to describe it. They're just, best friends, and they also kiss and hold hands, but it's not like, in a romance kind of way, but also sort of? Like, queerplatonic but not completely platonic. Or maybe it is queerplatonic and my view of romance is just messed up and i never know how to tell the difference between platonic and romantic feelings, and i think that's because i don't really see a difference, for me it's all the same and that's exactly how Tori and Micheal's relationship is and i love it so much and i don't know, i don't think i'll ever have this with anyone. And it makes me sad. 

Book is an absolute banger tho, I love Tori’s and Micheal’s neurodivergent coding, and their whole dynamic in general, and i’m happy we get to know more about Tori’s personality and the way she thinks!! ALSO!! Having read Radio Silence first, i got to know how the fire happened!! Which was super cool.

I’ve heard negative stuff about Solitaire so i was a little scared i wouldn’t like it, i’m sorry i doubted you Alice ahhh. As always, they never disappoint!

Additionally, Tori being ace was super well represented, at least in my opinion! Her relation to romance and attraction is like, so mecore it’s painful. 

[saltpepperbeard]

no so like i know a common analysis to make is ed pushed lucius overboard because he was trying to get rid of any sort of ties to stede and anything that subsequently made him emotionally vulnerable but now i’m also thinking that he could have also pushed lucius overboard because lucius encouraged ed to chase after stede and to put his heart on the line and after it only brought him excruciating pain of course he’s going to want to lash out at the person who nudged him to try when he’s in such a fiery state and-

[healingheartdogs]

NGL, it is very mindboggling to me as a person coming from a police and commercial detection dog training background that so many people who do nosework seem to struggle with imprinting? Like I see it brought up frequently as one of the most common challenges people have and want webinars or classes for, and I’m like... but that’s the easiest part of detection???

[marietheran]

.

[miss-steelmind]

thinking about yttd and the way it handles the topic of the illusion of choice. the many occasions both the characters and the audience were tricked into thinking we have a say in the events. the false democracy of it all. all those rigged games, the first and second trial, the sacrifice, even the dummies' lives. neither sara nor you, the player had any real control over them.

and, as we know, it is quite likely that the entire death game is rigged. it doesn't matter what sacrifices you make, what choices you're given, at the end of the day, sara was always meant to be the winner. despite all efforts, our choices didn't matter. so, what is the point of it all?

even though most of it seems like an illusion, we have made some progress. characters rebelled. kai is a great example of this: he took his destiny into his own hands. and even though it seems like his death didn't actually cause a change, it's a great metaphor. the only way to beat the death game is to go directly against the kidnappers.

i think this is what the entire game is supposed to be about: attempting to control your own fate, despite what is expected from you. learning to become more than puppets that follow the script and play into the oppressor's hands.

i'm extremely curious how this is all going to play out in the end, and how will those 2 big choices that we've made and seem to actually matter, change the games. how will the fates that we've chosen make a difference, and how do they fit into the organization's script.

[foxgloveinspace]

Please always ramble in the tags 😭🫶🏼✨ reading tags are some of my favorite things, esp yours tbh

I hope your weekend was good dude! And I hope your migraine fucks off quicklyyy!

I’m trying to get some studying done today, it’s not working yet, but I’m trying!

PS link for your 14K FIC?!?! FUCKIN DUDE THATS AWESOME IM SO PROUD AND SO HAPPY FOR YOUUU!!!

@a-little-lynx

Good Luck Studying!! I hope you find your groove, and it goes really well!! This is my favorite rain noise video on youtube if you like those, I put it on when I need to drown out the rest of the world for reading, haha.

My migraine is already going away a bit, I turned off my headphones, even tho I was listening to The Summoning as a little, 'its been one year since i heard you' celebration, but I can do that later too.

I would link it, but its not posted yet🙇, I'm waiting till it's done before I post it, cause I have discovered through trial and error that that is best for me (*looks sadly at my now mostly abandoned Dune fic that I will finish one of these days but I don't know when it'll be.*)

I don't even know if I'm half way done with it even, I don't even know if I'm gonna post it as chapters? or post it as a really long one shot (but from what I hear, it's best to do it as chapters cause if you get passed 50k you can't edit it after posting, oof. I always forget tags). I think if i do, do chapters, I just finished the first one, haha. It's like, a dream come true though? cause SamTron/SamRinzler is one of my longest running ships (I'd go as far to call it my rare pair otp, haha) and Tron: Legacy is my favorite movie of all time, and I've wanted to write a long as fuck fic for them for years and years and years, so now that I'm finally doing it!!! Ugh. I'm just. so giddy about it, and I hope I am getting their characters right (even tho I've watched the movie about 50 times at this point and have the freaking.... script memorized at this point.) And!!! Yeah.... I'm so happy about it... I'm also being so so self indulgent with it (for me this means adding in little details that don't really matter, like the fact that Sam keeps body armor drinks in his fridge instead of like Gatorade, or that Quorra is a picky eater now that she can, ya know, actually taste things besides Energy on the Grid...... I am uhh, assuming you've watched Tron/Tron: Legacy Cass, if not its a-ok, I just realized some of this makes no since haha.) I am just.... really getting into it?

I'm also trying to keep the main plot under covers until I post it, cause I feel like the anticipation of keeping it sceret will motivate me to beign able to finish it!

[punkindness]

long rambling personal about chronic pain under the cut

on thursday's pt session they were having me work with someone different cause my usual was taking time off. he asked if anywhere hurt more during an exercise and i said my knees and he got all serious and had me do a thumb hypermobility stretch and asked if eds runs in my family, if i experience any other joint pain and for how long. i told him 'uh idk' and 'yes all over' and 'as long as i can remember but it's gotten really bad in recent years and i also have nerve pain' and then we just kinda looked at each other. and then he was like '...alright keep going with the exercise, i'm thinking' and at the end when he said goodbye he seemed like sad or guilty and opened the door for me and i didn't realize why at the time because the session had been harder than any of the others but not like insane but OH MY FUCKING GOD has my pain been bad this weekend. it's times like these that i'm glad i live with my family.

and also. i researched eds in more depth and. it's fucking uncanny. how the hell did this not come up when i was researching before because it is like exact and touches on some symptoms i hadn't even considered to be related to my pain. if it's not heds it's probably hsd i guess?? which is

[sn0wbat]

If you don’t mind, I saw the comic about vampire hair and it made me wonder what would Einarr look like with a beard?

the context

he'd rather not dwell on it too much

[welcometogrouchland]

FINALLY watched Ready Or Not (2019) with the fam and FUCCCCKKKKKK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT WHEN WOMEN ARE COVERED IN BLOOD AND FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES TOOTH AND NAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL FUCKING YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lunaetis]

[ the sudden need to write something emotional with yelan ... ]

[cha1cedony]

I'm gonna ramble about fic writing (while taking a break from actually writing, but I'm making progress this time! I promise! woohoo. knock on wood). ANYWAY, one of my favorite things to consider as far as characterization goes is self-awareness. Because there's so many different ways and degrees to which a protagonist can be self-aware, and I just LOVE seeing how characters shift (not necessarily 'grow') over the timeline of a story. I love thinking about where a specific character would choose willful ignorance, where they would choose to come to terms with a harsh reality, where they would be entirely oblivious, where they're NOT oblivious but can't even verbalize it in their own internal monologue... chef's kiss. My favorite stuff to write

[scribblemakes]

literally love ur disconauts au. its very fun, and the way u incorporated the psychonauts style with the de characters.... love it sm

Thank you, that's very kind!! I've got some sketches and comics planned based on asks I've been getting about it so hopefully I can show you some more soon

[em-dashes]

there’s a lot that’s currently bothering me about aphelion now that i’m back to working on it, and so far the only change i’ve implemented is aging up cay and bee, and somehow that feels like a step in the right direction