#<- the campaigns i was in have continued without me simply because i was always late due to time zones

[yinyangle]

im gonna be honest i dont understand rtumblr (lore and the fact i find rping very very difficult) but yall r having fun and i support u all

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

[indigoraysoflight]

Hello indigoraysoflight!!

Honestly, I don't know how tptb believe that these strategies are going to work for them. As a viewer, I am hanging on by a thread.

I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to watch anything that purely retcons the mother series, so for me, more shipbait and Caryl being only friends = I leave TWDU as a whole. We even had show writers telling us Caryl is true!!

I adore Melissa and will support any other project she does, but it has been many years of being continually utilized and clowned by this franchise and enough is enough. Any ending that isn't Daryl and Carol together doesn't make sense to me, and a studio that treats me like this as a viewer doesn't deserve me to spend another minute on it, much less my money.

At this point, I will base whether I watch the spinoff or not on the reviews of some people I trust. Depending on what I gather from their reviews, I will stay or leave completely.

Which brings me to ask... Do you know if there will be reviews? With what happened with certain shippers of another spinoff leaking spoilers left and right, I have my doubts.

If there weren't any and we had no way of knowing in advance what to expect, I'm afraid I'll only follow episode spoilers weekly and won't watch anything until the end when I get to know 100% that I won't be disappointed, which for now seems almost impossible.

To think how excited I was with season 3 being filmed in my country... Now I don't think I care that much.

Thank you for everything you do for what's left of this fandom ❤️

Hello, dear anon!

Honestly? Same. I'm being very cautious now because I genuinely don't like how things are unfolding.

I respect your choice to do what's best for you. To be honest, it all feels really frustrating because Melissa deserves so much better. It's always lovely to see pictures of Melissa on set but I'm not sure why there isn't a robust marketing campaign working to promote the show. Not only is it disrespectful to the leads, but it also gives some people more incentive to bully Carylers.

Some poorly positioned social media posts — that rely on the fans to explain how the ship is romantic — are simply not good enough.

I'm not sure about the reviews. I don't know if you're aware that I run a Caryl podcast called Nine Lives Two Mics with my friend @kryptoniancape. We intend to review TBOC with or without screeners and share our honest take on it.

But it's safe to say the whole show is resting on Melissa's back, which is incredibly sad, considering she isn't getting any official promo.

To me, the future looks concerning, especially if it rests in the hands of a showrunner who has no idea how to write women and has leaned heavily on ship baiting to give a female character any value. Norman and Melissa being EPs is good. But they need a showrunner who actually cares about Caryl, and the current one has given me no reason to trust him. The future of this show needs a showrunner who can deliver not just for Caryl but for the fans who have held on for years in some cases.

It's not just about canon anymore. It's about canon being done right and a vibrant story that Caryl deserve.

I'm really sorry I don't have better news for you, dear anon. I'm not really doing anything for the fandom. I'm just hoping people's voices and concerns are heard.

I also want to thank you for your courage and vulnerability today. We need more people speaking up the way you did. I need you to know that your voice has meaning and I appreciate you for using it.

Stay safe and be well. ❤️❤️

[the-lark-ascending69]

Homophobic Nancy for whom it's not enough to torture herself over her inappropriate feelings for Robin, but needs to take her anger out on her, too.

Of course, she doesn't actually say anything. She doesn't make any direct comments on it. When Robin tells her, hands shaking and heart racing, that she likes women, Nancy simply stares at her without blinking, a tight smile on her face, and her brain short circuits and in that instant she suddenly diacovers the language needed to describe the way Robin made her feel, somewhere between excited, happy and nervous, but also irrationally angry. It was something she'd successfully avoided naming up until that point, the same way you avoid looking directly into the sun, not even realizing you're doing it.

Robin makes her confront a part of herself she doesn't want to face, and Nancy hates her for it.

So when Robin nervously asks why she's not saying anything, Nancy just smiles a little wider and tells her that it's okay. Robin is confused. Just okay? What does that mean? It's okay, Nancy insists. Actually, I don't know why you felt the need to tell me. It's not like it changes anything, anyway. Robin doesn't know how to feek about that. In one hand, she's glad Nancy isn't being outright hostile or violent towards her. She likes the "not changing anything" part. But Nancy's reaction is visibly off and even though she insists, every time Robin asks, that there's nothing wrong, Robin can tell she just made a big mistake. Stupid, stupid, stupid, she calls herself under her breath as she walks back home. She should have known better than to assume this wouldn't be too much for some of her friends.

She talks to Steve about it, and Steve tells her to believe Nancy. If she said it was okay, it was okay. Is Robin sure she's not imagining things? And yes, she's sure. Or she was, at least. But Steve supposedly knows Nancy much better than Robin does, so, maybe she did see rejection where there was none, simply because she was so scared of it.

So she tries to believe Nancy when she said nothing had changed, even if she felt stupid doing so, and asked her if she wanted to have a sleepover on the weekend, like they usually did. Or go for a walk. Or study together. Or simply hang out.

Nancy tells her she has plans with Jonathan.

Next time Robin asks, she needs to study. Next time, she tells her she'd promised El she'd teach her about clothes and makeup. The next one, she'd promised Mike she'd join gim for a campaign at Hellfire. Next one, she's helping Joyce with something, or she's watching a movie with her mom, or she has to clean her room, or babysit Holly, or interview someone, or she's simply tired and wants to sleep. She used to always have time for Robin before. And Robin is growing increasingly worried and feeling increasingly stupid, continuing to seek Nancy out when her instincts tell her to run. Why did she follow Steve's advice? She knew from the beginning. Her gut told her so.

She should have expected it when she went to knock on Nancy's window one night and opened up her whole heart for her, telling her how much she misses her and how stupid she feels and how she thought Nancy said things wouldn't change but they did, and now she's scared it's her fault, somehow, even though she suspects Nancy is pulling away for something she can't control and she feels so stupid for ever telling her something Nancy clearly didn't want to know, and now she's suggesting that they forget everything she said that day and they go back to talking about boys like normal girl friends do, because she'd talk about boys with Nancy even when it goes against her nature if that means keeping her as a friend. She should have expected Nancy to look uncomfortable and hug herself and say "Robin, it's getting late. I think you should go home".

Just as easily, she breaks Robin's heart.

Robin doesn't break down in tears in front of Nancy - she waits until she's home to do that. Instead, she says "I - okay, yeah. You're right" and "Sorry, Nance" before walking back home between sniffles and hiccups. She doesn't call Steve to tell him he was wrong. She was the stupid one here. Neither Steve nor Nancy were to blame. This was the way the world worked, and she was simply bad at surviving in it.

Nancy can't name the feelings and thoughts roaring in her head, but she falls to the floor of her bedroom and hugs her knees, and with one hand she roughly pulls at her own hair as if that will make everything inside stop. She feels like she hates Robin, and that makes her hate herself. Or maybe it's the other way around. She's not animal. She can think clearly, even if doing so in this situation scares her. She knows Robin did nothing wrong. She even knows theres nothing wrong with Robin, because if it had been anyone else, she wouldn't feel this way. But Robin was special. It was her beauty and her laugh and her tenderness and her brilliant, brilliant mind, and the way she couldn't stop her mouth when she felt too many emotions. It was the way she looked at Nancy with such deep trust and admiration. The way Nancy felt something so impossibly contradictory for her. The desire to be always with her and to never see her again. To tangle her fingers in her hair and to avoid her touch. To make her happy and to make her cry. "This isn't for me", Nancy tells herself. "It has to be for someone else. I can't let this be me". She punishes Robin because she needs somewhere to put her anger, and who better than the cause of all this evil?

[kimtaegis]

i’m here to spread more love for my beloveds! 🎁

bibs, @userjungkook97, for her never-ending sweetness + all her precious content and the palpable love she pours into it every single time that i just can’t help but swoon over.

rafa, @userjiminie, for her skills and adorable concepts that make my heart flutter with inspiration (and total envy) whenever she creates something new + her warmth and familiarity that i’d frankly feel a bit lost around here without.

pat, @jkvjimin, for her crisp and beautifully colored work that has felt like a breath of fresh air since the very first day she started posting in our little community + her newfound friendship i will continue to cherish and nurture.

sky, @jung-koook, for her hard work, undying generosity and help throughout the year(s) + the precious conversations we have as she always takes the time to listen, not let anything i share with her go unheard or invalidated, and shares her thoughts with me with such grace and trust.

and YOU, annie, for constantly keeping me on my toes looking forward to your creations or overall presence on my dash because it always feels so much more alive around here when you’re online. i’m very obsessed with you but we know that 🤍

happy new year to you all 🌹

- kelli x

thank you so much kelli for keeping this little love campaign going and taking the time to send a letter on top of gifting a beautiful gifset, I appreciate it so much 💝

I just kept nodding along to everything you said about @userjungkook97 @userjiminie @jkvjimin and @jung-koook; I hope they know how amazing they are, how much brighter this place gets because of them, and how much we’re looking forward to seeing their stunning creations every time. besides being incredible cc’s, they also simply have huge hearts which show in every interaction. you guys (kelli included) deserve only good things and I can only hope that the new year will be kind to you, that the love you constantly put out into this world will return to you tenfold, and that you decide to keep blessing this fandom with your creativity and effort in the future. I’m sending you all my love 🤍

Participate in Christmas at Annie’s 🎁

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Hello

Finished the mdzs book and the protagonist confuses me maybe because all I heard of this novel before I read it was that he was morally gray so I was expecting something else. Just wanted to ask do you think his traits of forgiving and forgetting and to not linger in the past and not let resentment in his heart a bit too unrealistic? Also why do you think he choose to live in the world that pushed him in a corner to the point where he did lose everything? And if he does not hold anything against those people specially jc does that mean their could be a relationship between them again he does ask jin ling about how he’s doing ? Those are questions I have to anser for myself by re reading but would love to hear you opinions.

Good day, anon. I will break your ask down a bit since there are several questions here! I will place the rest under the cut since this is a bit wordy (my apologies).

All I heard of this novel before i read it was that he was morally grey so I was expecting something else

This is a fandom misconception, as the title itself, is supposed to be a red herring and falling into the in story lies of what was spread about Wei Wuxian. The author herself has stated as such that Wei Wuxian was always meant to reflect a moral and right stance in his ideals and thoughts. Now does this always mean "no mistakes ever", not at all. That simply isn't human, but, he reflects on the actions that he had gone through himself, and his only regrets are, feeding into the cruelty and pushing Lan Wangji away years ago, and, not saying anything of his own sufferings out of the obligation of appearing ungrateful for the help he had received from others.

Meaning the Jiang leaders, being sheltered by Wen Qing during the Sun Shot Campaign and Wen Qing having successfully transferred his core to a despondent Jiang Cheng). In each of these instances there is the underlying theme of honor and duty that he tries to fulfill, due to the unsaid stipulations placed upon him from several parties and his own ethics telling him he cannot leave them in such dire circumstances, or say no as he was raised as a cultivator despite his status as an orphan. He is simply not morally grey or questionable aside from his fall when he tortures Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu further with Jiang Cheng. He knows then, that Lan Wangji was not condemning him, but worried about how he was driven to those lengths of hate, and if he was able to actually pull back from that brink.

He was, but not without a lot of continued consequences of his actions. It is meant to reflect the daoist principles of life. There is no redemption in Daoist Buddhism, there are actions, consequences, and reflection to overcome the sufferings of human life. You learn and move on with that enlightenment of life lessons.

Do you think his traits of forgiving and forgetting and not to linger in the past and not let resentment in his heart a bit too unrealistic?

No, I do not think this unrealistic. Simply because, this is a lesson my own mother has told me time and again, and still does to this day when I get upset. Hate is the suffering of the world. Let it take over, and what else is there for you in the end when you have achieved whatever revenge you want? Or, hold on to that hate so much nothing can make you happy or satisfied because you compare it to everything you do not have or achieved?

Forgiveness as well, does not mean that you forget, it just means you have moved on, and no longer will let the past dictate the happiness you can have in the future. You also do not need to invite that situation within your own life again, other than saying "I learned for the better, and I don't need to resent that."

Wei Wuxian chooses to live in a hurtful world, because we all live in that. There is going to be hurt in the world, I myself as well would choose the happiness I can gain, without spite. Dwelling on the hate and what if's of better that you do not have, without actually choosing to reach for it, is useless and hypocritical. We make our own unhappiness (at least if we go by Buddhist principle). Wei Wuxian knows what continued hate does to people (Madam Yu), and it is not a way to continue life as he tries to encourage Jiang Cheng to look towards the future that could have been happier for the both.

If he does not hold anything against those people specifically jc does that mean their could be a relationship between them again he does ask jin ling about how he was doing?

Forgiveness as I have said, does not mean forgetting or always a restart to reopen anything. You can close a chapter of your life, without needing that person in your life again.

For example, I have an estranged relationship with my father, but, this does not mean I will not ask my family in contact with him how he is doing. I'll ask, I get an answer, he is the same as always, that's all I need to know. I am different, he is different, we do not have the same wants, it is better that way without needing more. There are still complicated feelings. They will always be there, but, I have as much of an answer and closure I will ever get, it has to be enough. I cannot dwell on the what if's any longer when my own life has happiness, and I don't need him in that. My happiness is not mandated any longer on his wants or expectations.

Wei Wuxian, does not need Jiang Cheng personally in his life, but will care about him, as he was a significant part of his past. We do not stop caring, but we choose to let go.

[not-poignant]

Wooooheeee merch!! Me is excited!!! Food for thought, maybe you could start a kickstarter campaign or something to cover publishing costs? I know they have a publishing category 🤔 I don't exactly know their policies so it's best to check further but I've definitely seen erotica books/art campaigns on there. Might be a good idea?

Hi anon,

I think this is a cool idea if you're a) American and b) can get to a post office, lol.

The thing is, I can't do anything that would involve me fulfilling orders from my house.

Firstly, there's simply too many books to cover (Game Theory would have to be broken down into 4 volumes, with the possibility of a 2-part release later on). I don't want to run complicated and stressful Kickstarter campaigns every 6 months forever. (Not to mention, frankly, that most Kickstarter campaigns fail to earn the amount they need, and I'm still figuring out how to make minimum wage via Patreon).

I do not have the spoons to think about dealing with the shipment costs (let alone the fact that I can't drive or catch public transport and therefore get to post offices) of extremely heavy, chunky books. But what I do know is that a lot of readers will be extremely put off by shipping costs easily in excess of $50-100 alone - not including the books or the tax on the books. Australia has one of the highest tax rates for books in the world, we have some of the must punitive shipping charges (some of your favourite Australian artists use drop shippers and this is why), etc. I used to ship small original pieces of art internationally, about half the size of a piece of paper, and extremely light-weight, and the *starting price* for shipping was around $30 USD. For heaver books it shoots up immediately.

For this reason, I actually have zero confidence in how this is actually going to work out without using a drop-shipper and distributor like IngramSpark. Mosk Kickstarters don't fulfill out of Australia wherever possible. And I have no intention of paying thousands of dollars to put books in my tiny cottage, only to realise I've shafted myself and all my international readers (which is...nearly all of you) by forcing everyone to pay an extra 10% GST on the book itself along with the extortionate postage prices for what will be, honestly, heavy books (postage is calculated by weight). Not to mention that I then can't get to a post office, and am completely dependent on other people to help me with that! And then on top of that, I don't believe many books will actually sell, so I'd prefer to use third party vendors wherever possible so I can be not miserable about it. When people can always read the ebooks for free, the only folks who are going to dish out money for paperbacks/hardbacks are going to be the really hardcore fans (I do not have a ton of these, though I love every one of them), or folks who hate ebooks.

Even if I had money at my disposal, I could never use a system like this (Kickstarter / paying for the mass printing of books), and almost no Australian author would, tbh.

On the other hand, aside from the book cover fees, I could technically list a book today on IngramSpark and my only fee would be the ISBNs.

And that's way less stressful than a Kickstarter. ;) And if I get booted for my content, that's just gonna be how it is. It possibly leaves Lulu as an option, but I'd prefer not to go that route mostly because it dumps more of the cost on you folks, and it also eats more profit margins for me.

The biggest issue is and has always been tbh the editing and the fact that chunks of Game Theory need to either be completely rewritten, or removed (the spanking chapter is incredibly OOC), and working out the covers because if the story has to be broken into multiple volumes, continuity in design is vital.

[jessicajagg]

Why I love Sonic Adventure

Picking favorite video games has always been a challenge for me. There are so many games that I like that narrowing it down has always proved difficult. However, there are a select few that always spring to my mind without fail whenever the subject comes up. And one of those games is Sonic Adventure.

I didn't always love it, as a kid my first 3D Sonic was Sonic Adventure 2 Battle on gamecube. I held it's Sonic speed stages in very high regard which only grew when I got older and became nostalgic for it. So much that I initially dismissed Sonic Adventure upon playing the PS3 port, simply because it was not SA2. But I eventually grew out of that bias and upon revisiting SA1 with a more open mind, I found a game that I would grow to love more than any other in the series.

What immediately springs to my mind when I think of Sonic Adventure are the zones. Alot of Sonic games will usually have "that" level I'll dread revisiting but in Adventure there's not a dud in the bunch. I love the sky road in Windy Valley, the snowboarding in Ice Cap, the Nights pinball machine in Casinopolis and ofcourse the iconic run down the side of a building in Speed Highway.

Emerald Coast in particular has a special place in my heart. It's bright blue skies, white sand, it's hard to describe but I can't help but smile whenever I think about it. It genuinely puts me at ease somehow and I think about it alot when I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

Something I didn't find appreciation for until recently were the hub worlds connecting these zones. I used to think they were a bit of a nuisance, especially unlocking the next zone can sometimes be cryptic. It was only after a recent playthrough where I decided to slow down and take everything in that I found them to be really chill spaces to just hang out in.

Alot of the NPCs have their own little stories that progress as you make your way through the game. They're small but really cute and amusing. I got way more invested in them that I thought I would and honestly I think you're not getting the full SA experience if you don't talk to everyone.

Among the Sonic games that shuffle between multiple characters and play styles I think Adventure 1 did the best at structuring it all. Each character has their own campaign so if you only feel like playing speed stages you can just do Sonic's story and be done with it.

Tails is handled best here than in any other 3D game, I love the idea of having you play levels again with an OP character that just breaks them.

The three playstyles that differ the most from the core Sonic gameplay, Knuckles, Amy and Big are the shortest campaigns. Which keeps them from getting too monotonous, especially when it comes to Big's unfortunately clunky fishing controls.

Ofcourse every moment and stage in this game is punctuated with one of the most memorable soundtracks in the entire franchise. I'm not much of a music gal, so all I can say is that the music fucking rules.

I know as a game there's alot wrong with Sonic Adventure. The presentation, the voice acting, the odd physics, re-using content but none of it really bugs me. If I fall down the floor, I just shrug in an "oh you" kind of way and continue on. It's one of those games where I'll plow through the entire thing in one sitting on a whim.

In the end all I can say is, I love Sonic Adventure.

[lisxdumbr]

Yeah lately things have been pretty weird with how HappyEle has been doing things and it's like... hmmm. I assume they have a plan and a reason for why they're doing this. But they have also been/are making things easier for us with the way they're handling the events.

We get 50 whistles for each climax event, which I do understand and it makes sense since, well, 100 whistles is usually given for special celebrations/campaigns. And when it comes to the climax events that are supposed to be really important, it makes sense that they're gonna put them all on equal grounds rather than some getting 100 whistles while others get the usual no whistles. And maybe 50 whistles might not seem much, but damn, they will really help and make grinding a little easier and cheaper.

Not to mention that supposedly the album announcements will coincide with the climax events like Crazy:B album does with their climax right now. Personally I am still suspicious of that theory, so we'll have to see if it holds up in the future. Though considering the album *does* contain the climax event song, it's very likely that the theory will hold up. Which will also make things easier for the players since, if they are going to announce a new album every broadcast, it will (in most cases) give a bigger timeframe on knowing what event is coming than the timeframe of a tsukisuta guest announcement. Which means more time to prepare and grind dia. It will keep (f2p) people from pulling on gachas bc they know what event is coming.

No anni cards makes it easier too because nobody will spend dia on it because they simply don't exist.

Extra memorial coins though? I think that's just to give players more of a chance to get the cards they want because it's been some time and theh probably estimated that people are more likely to grind a lot for the climax events, so they want to reward that. Probably also to give potential new players a boost as well since we seem to be at peak enstars or smth.

So??? What *is* HappyEle doing here. Whistles, album, no anni cards. It's all very strange. They're being awfully kind here. Are they swimming in money this much that they can afford to be nice? That they can afford to continue making the reminiscence anime adaptations as well? All without repercussions? It just seems a little too good to be true, all of this. I also don't think they're gonna end the game just yet, but all this generosity makes me very suspicious of their intentions.

As for the climax events themselves? To me they always seemed like they were going to be the events that will give every unit TRUE development. The development that's needed to keep the story going and have new options open up for the writers. Like idk if it's just me and my Trickstar tunnelvision, but it feels like we have gotten nowhere lately in terms of development and story. Of course we have had Yuta's hairstyle change and we have had Ryuseitai's change, but what has really happened?? We continued the godfather plot, but where are they actually going with that now? Speaking as a TrickstarP, what the fuck is going to happen to them. They haven't really done much either, there's been some things dropping, but nothing that really brought them to a changing point. And it's been for a lot of characters that way, dropping some things here and there, but never tying up the loose ends. We have had Obbligato, but there's still a lot more that they can do with it, will they do anything with Kaname? Who knows!

I guess one thing they finally addressed though was Makoto with Portrait. You know, after 7 years. But still, there's a lot more to just conclude or reveal than just Makoto's trauma. And speaking of Portrait! It's been 7 months since then. It's been 7 months since our first and only look back scout. The scouts that were supposed to happen periodically like circle scouts. Well I have yet to see it!

Though I would assume that they are cooking up those look back scouts as much as they are cooking up those climax events... I hope...

But you know what worries me? All of these climax events are going to be this rotation. I worry that there's going to be sooo much happening so shortly after another that everyone is going to explode with information. You could say that the SS was also a lot, but those were 8 events, climax is going to be EVERY unit which is 14 fricking events. 14.

Everything has been so weird lately and I trust HappyEle is just cooking a 14 course meal for us, but part of me just wonders what the actual plan is.

.

[elxctrics]

"am i your dream girl? you think of me in bed but you could never hold me and like me better in your head. make me evil, then i'm an angel instead. at least you'll sanctify me when i'm dead. dream girl, evil!"

(—) ★ spotted!! BIANCA SHAFAI on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 22 year old looks like BELLA HADID, but i don’t really see it. while  the HEIRESS/MODEL is known for being CHARMING my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be CUNNING i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song dream girl evil by florence + the machine  { she/her / cisfemale } - penned by CANDICE, 25, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER

  ˗ˏˋ ＊ ‣ 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬    :  

connections || musings || instagram || headcanons

𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓼

name: bianca cordelia shafai-van buren

age: twenty two

nicknames: b, satan

date of birth: november 15th, 2000

astrological sign: scorpio

place of birth: new york city, new york

occupation: heiress/model

label: the coquette

positive traits: tactile, flirtatious, witty, intuitive 

negative traits: cunning, selfish, void, heartless

characters/celebrities she’s like: kathryn merteuil from cruel intentions, georgina sparks from gossip girl, regina george from mean girls, alison dilaurentis from pretty little liars.

𝓫𝓲𝓸𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓱𝔂

bianca has always been the kind of girl who took whatever it was that she wanted with a smile - not caring who she had to step on or stab in the back to do so. she was born cold - with a complete lack of empathy and a lack of the ability to love and care for anyone but herself.

born to fredrick van buren - the heir to an over one hundred and twenty year old luxury jewelry company and daphne shafai, a supermodel turned new york city socialite, bianca never wanted for anything.

she grew up on manhattan’s upper east side in a lavish park avenue penthouse with central park views, attended the most elite private schools and was absolutely spoiled by her parents, who didn’t know how to show love with anything other than money.

she watched her father scheme million dollar deals and her mother claw her way up to the top of the upper east side’s social hierarchy and because of this, she learned manipulation and deceit from the masters.

it started off petty - revealing her peers’ secrets, framing her classmates for things they didn’t do, seeing how much she could steal without getting caught, just to test the limits as to how much she could get away with.

her parents caught on to what she was doing and instead of scolding her, they were immensely proud.

she also had the fortune to be born drop dead gorgeous, much to the delight of her super model mother, who thrust her into the modeling world when she was just a child, which only inflated her ego.

she was incredibly young when she got into the world of partying, sex and drugs. she became an incredibly overindulgent person, doing whatever she wanted, whoever she wanted, whenever she wanted, without a single care for the consequences.

although she had a heavy modeling schedule, bianca attended a prestigious upper east side prep school - and of course, used her charms and wit to bribe her way through high school, even though she was barely there.

from sleeping with professors to going so far as to blackmail her classmates into dressing as her to sit in a take tests as her, bianca had the entire school wrapped around her finger. and although she truly didn’t need to attend high school because of how famous she was, she enjoyed the power and simply looked at it as a playground to cause trouble in during her down time from modeling.

at twenty two years old, the brunette is still just as evil and cunning as she has always been, some may even argue a bit sociopathic. but she has not a care in the world. she continues booking show after show and campaign after campaign, and nothing can tear her down. and if anyone tries? she’ll take them down first.

[theimpalingpen]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎-𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 — 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐩𝐞𝐧

(Disclaimer. I’m not saying one is better, but I will be using comparisons to highlight differences! I also mostly mention more popular video games in this post but I highly recommend checking out indie games as well.)

Novelist, poet, playwright, copywriter, non-fiction— theres a lot of types of writers— and one I don’t see often mentioned is the narrative designer. It’s a role that can be applied in a lot of different ways, all of them valuable nonetheless.

I’ve been playing video games ever since I was very young, and a lot of games marketed toward children/younger audiences have their own sort of story. Pokémon, Mario and Zelda come to mind. I got older and got into more serious stories, Skyrim, Fallout, and now as an adult, I still play these games alongside more mature ones. The Witcher, the earlier God of War installments, etc.

Some people also seem to think video games can’t be serious (beyond being dark or edgy, anyways), or utilize actual storytelling devices to make a point. Which is simply wrong. One example would be the bioshock franchise, which is accepted as an allegory for different economical and social systems, specifically Objectivism.

The most memorable (and forgive me, I must be brief otherwise I’ll get too excited), would be Bloodborne. The story isn’t given to you flat out, and some of the lore is rather difficult to decipher. But when it comes together, it’s fucking beautiful. The game is an eldritch/cosmic horror which derives from the work of H.P Lovecraft, dealing with the themes of addiction, misanthropy, cosmic insignificance, the brutality and horror that can be within pregnancy/menstruation/childbirth, the consequence of knowledge, and the insanity. I love the story and lore of Bloodborne so much it truly makes me want to cry. (Plus, it’s a special interest of mine.)

I’ve played over a hundred video games in my time and will continue to play them. They are one of the things that enhances my skill as a writer!

Here’s the caveat. Video games take time and a lot of them, skill. My personal favorite video games with my favorite stories are some of the most difficult. That’s just not for everybody! For those people, I generally recommend play throughs or starting with heavily story based games. Or…easy mode, if the game has it. Just don’t start with Sekiro: Shadows’s Die Twice unless you’re a serious masochist.

— 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓, 𝐒𝐎 𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐃?

“Oh, I thought you just shoot stuff and run around…”

I’m pretty sure most people who play video games have heard something similar. Because yes, some games, there isn’t a particular story!

Yet, in Call of Duty, a game known for running around and shooting people (definitely not known for having online lobbies with people who are incapable of saying slurs every .5 seconds...) actually has their own story campaigns which can be incredibly entertaining and well written.

Pretentiousness is a large factor in people overlooking video games, in my opinion. Some people stroke their soft, limp intellectual egos with literature, which has always confused me. It takes work and thought to understand a story in any format! Some games don’t give it to you at face value, and some force you to explore in order to learn more. Which leads me into my next point…

— 𝐄𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒

Even in games that are linear, there’s often secrets laying around. Straightforward games may have notes, letters, paintings with descriptions that add to the lore of the world. It allows you to connect dots without being told exactly what’s going on.

One of my favorite examples of this is Hollow Knight, which has a story that isn’t explained practically at all. Without spoiling the game for anyone who may want to play, I’ll say that there’s tablets and secret areas around the game which contain lore, but my favorite mechanic is achieved with “the Dream Nail”. This mechanic enables you to hear the contorted and melancholy thoughts of the creatures around you which adds a layer of sadness and further hopelessness to the overall tone of the game.

Video games have the liberty to tell stories with the very environment you walk in. Horror games placing terrible, mangled corpses and showing you “this is what happens to you” without saying it. Adventure games leaving old tombs with a warrior’s sword for you to collect and learn that there was someone here before you. Books don’t have the liberty to implement this in the same way because while we understand atmosphere, things being mentioned and detailed in the pages are generally meant to have a specific purpose and reminder. Environmental storytelling is something you stumble upon, and can be done without words.

— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄

The main story of Red Dead Redemption 2 is fifty hours long. You are responsible for Arthur Morgan as a player, but have no control over his inevitable fate. Assuming you do side quests, you may invest hundreds of hours into your play through. The Last of Us is 15hrs, God of War 4 is 25. That’s a lot of time to fall in love with a character and learn about this world. (Keep in mind this refers to actually playing the game, not just watching cutscenes.)

A lot of video games have shorter stories, but nonetheless, you’re taking the time to see story/character progression in a much longer format than a book. In my opinion, that is part of what makes it so powerful. Even in a game such as The Last of Us where you can’t change the outcome in any way, you feel as though you’re responsible for keeping your characters alive along the way. But in games like Detroit Become Human, Heavy Rain and Beyond Two Souls where you are the one choosing this character’s ending, you have the added pressure.

That’s still writing. Imagine not only having to write one well written ending, but multiple? And to have them make sense? That’s not done well in every video game, because it’s god damn difficult! A criticism that gets brought up in a few different games I’ve played is that certain available narrative choices as well as gameplay styles don’t suit the characters. Analyzing characters individually as a player and balancing what you want to do versus what your character would do— RPG or not— is a whole new layer of nuance.

The time you spend with a character, whether they be a set character or one created by the player, creates a bond. This goes for the characters around you as well!

When it comes to created characters in games, a lot of people get exposed to OC creation this way. Obviously, this goes for fandom as well, but combined with the point of “what would my character do” alongside the rest of the story brings people a lot of enjoyment. The imagination can run wild in that regard.

— 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒

There’s a few games where I’ve gotten more invested in the side plot narrative than the main story. Or, even with an amazing main story, the side quests not only tell you more about the world and character, but tie into the original plot. DLCs can achieve this too!

I’d say video game stories can actually get a bit overwhelming because there’s often so much. But a game with good subplot and side quests will make you want to seek them out.

Anyway, that’s about all I’ve got for now. I could make this post as long as a comedically large “sign here”, scroll— but I won’t! <3

THANKS FOR READING!

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[quel-bon-idee]

Okay Boys! Another long post criticizing critical roles choice in the way they narratively tell their dnd stories. Now let me just say, if you like cr (I do as well, but I hate campaign two a lot lol) this isn’t a form of attack, it’s natural critique from a writer. Early deaths of a main character in a story are (while a natural part of the DnD game), in my opinion, a bad storytelling technique. If, for example, we are writing a fantasy novel with an ensemble cast, the focus on the novel would in fact be one part the plot and one part the dynamic between characters. Taking a minute to focus in on the character dynamics, a few things that can propel them in a simplistic way are friendships, love interests, rivalries, and opposing morals. If you want any of that propelling to be successful, you’re going to have to spend the time to add moments of conversation, growth, and narrative. With a show like critical role there is obviously the threat of death, but mechanically there is nothing stopping the show with adding “padding” to make sure a character has a narratively satisfying arc before death. You could even make it an episode cap or a level cap until he begins having lethal fights (lethal meaning a fight where the enemy spent extra time to “kill” unconscious characters like the one that killed three characters). Applying the normal DnD rules to number one twitch channel Critical Role, would be a little naïve. Matt already makes Revivify a ritual process with rolls to make things harder so saying that they need to “stick to the rules” is a moot point, they already have been breaking them. They have a team of writers and actors putting on a story, like any other television show. In my opinion having a character (and a fan favourite no less) die essentially one hundred episodes before the campaign finishes, makes them narratively pointless and makes viewership lessen. The story gets worse. The death doesn’t cause any real effect because we don’t have enough real time with her to care (I mean obviously it’ll cause an uproar online, clearly. She was a literal fan favourite). Nothing more will make me put a book down like an early main character death. Even death as a plot device to make characters avenge them or what have you doesn’t really apply here because Marisha is going to come back as another person, they’ll reform the group, and one hundred episodes later, Laudna will be but a memory. Killing a character has to have a point, especially killing a main character. You can’t just kill people willy nilly and try to milk emotions without putting in the effort to make it sad (and this is not me invalidating anyone who was saddened by Laudna’s death, I was as well, I am simply speaking in a purely analytical way). Anyway, I personally believe that this is a huge issue with the writing of critical role. Pacing, since it is an improvised show, has always given way to a poor execution, and having these lethal choices be made (it was Matt’s choice to make this character continue attack after unconsciousness) leads to even more bad pacing, and ultimately, a disappointing story

[sipandshare]

Joe-Moi have gone too far.

They’ve incited this hate and harassment campaign on a normie that everyone knows has nothing to do with joe. Kate has never said she knew joe, she’s never interacted with anything to do with Joe. She is a normie who doesn’t need to release a statement for a handful of fans to say ‘I do not know him.’ As she said on twitter, she doesnt owe people anything.

People are desperate for an excuse to hate her and this is just the latest. She insinuated that the rumors she is JQGG is why she divulged her cancer diagnosis, not because she ‘wants sympathy’ (which is what Joe-Moi claim shes doing) she literally said she wants to be left alone. She also said to another twitter account looking into JQGG (rumoured to be a girl called kristine) that she is sick of being dragged into this.

Joe Moi has no evidence, they never had and never will because she isn’t behind it. They did the same thing with Alicia, they said she orchestrated everything, was submitting anons etc. They’re actually delusional and have the gall to call people living their normal lives psychotic.

Joe-Moi is now deleting asks and blocking users who disagree with them for they can continue their hate campaign. They should be ashamed. Their blog is ‘all for fun’ yet today alone they’ve forced the hand of a normie going through cancer and lost all creditability on tumblr as a gossip account.

I think they’re embarrassed they’ve fallen for a manipulated screenshot, or lies from someone Kate used to be friends with (lorn/kez - who suspiciously always seem to be at the centre of drama).

you can't accuse someone of such insanity by simply saying "believe me, it's true" without providing even the slightest evidence. i don't know how people don't see any problem to do that.

and people just believe them because they want kate to be the evil, that's all. they act as if everyone thought of it on their own and now it's the first time someone is saying it out loud and they're all "wow that's what i was thinking!! that must be true then!!" girl, no. you're feeding each other for months and now you're feeling validated by nothing but another anonymous person. nothing was revealed. no one has caught. literally nothing has changed since yesterday. they just all suddenly started to act like they've solved a big case, it's actually insane. they live in their own reality and never realize how crazy they look.

[joshuawithers]

Scissor me on parenting

In a story on the book ‘Welcome to Sex’, Amy Remeikis writes in The Guardian:

The response to a sex education and consent book which was removed from the shelves of Big W stores shows how far Australia still has to go on sex education, a Senate committee inquiry has heard. Welcome to Sex, co-authored by the former Dolly Doctor and adolescent health expert Dr Melissa Kang and feminist writer Yumi Stynes, became the target of an online protest campaign. The book was pulled from shelves at Big W after staff members were abused.

I’m fairly done with the constant outrage in society today, the idea that we just need to be upset all day every day. It keeps journalists employed and right wing activist social media groups active. But I will say, I don’t want Luna or Goldie to stumble across this book in a bookstore without me there to guide them.

I have a theory that the problem with modern Australian society is that continue outsourcing jobs that families, humans, friends and partners should be doing. An example is there’s a guy in a Facebook group today hiring people to be friends with disabled kids and it’s NDIS funded. We’ve outsourced friendship to the Commonwealth. Even in COVID most didn’t understand that the reasons for the lockdowns and border closures is because we have outsourced out community wellbeing to the state, so their undertaking of the ‘contract’ is to minimise expenses.

As it is with this book, it’s a vendor looking to win the contract for the outsourcing of your parenting.

My worldview is that there are matters for the home, for the community, for the family, to deal with, fix, entertain, talk about.

An example is my controversial opinion that I don’t like abortion. I have no problem with liberal/progressive abortion laws, it’s good for it to be regulated and I don’t think people are just out there aborting babies like it’s a fun pastime, but ultimately - in my utopian vision for the world - I’d like to see no abortion. Instead as someone is presented with the crossroads where they would consider an abortion the community would help. If money was required, they’d help. If the baby needed parenting, we’d help. That there would be a personalised, tailored solution, involving community and family compromise that resulted in the baby being born and being loved. I’m aware that my utopia does not exist, but that’s just where I’d like to see society be. No need to @ me, I know that rape exists, there are medical quandaries, and sex protection doesn’t always work, but I’d really simply, almost blindly stupidly just love to see babies be born and be loved. It’s like a one in 400 billion chance that a baby would ever be born, I just don’t want to squander it.

So I have my utopian vision, and it’s about communities and families taking it upon themselves to care for and love the ones within. Of course Police and governance has its place, but we should take more responsibility in the home and in the community. If I see someone litter I call them out on it, and if they’re not there I pick the rubbish up and put it in the bin, that’s me.

So, back to the book.

The main problem I see with the book is that I don’t want my girls to pick it up, if I liked the books message, I would bring it to them. But the other problem in the story today is with the linking of the book and consent. It’s a long shot. Consent is important, should be deeply known, understood and respected by all people.

Chanel Contos, the founder of Teach us Consent, echoed those concerns. “Young people are learning about sex from pornography, which – a phrase I always use is that is basically like learning how to drive a car by watching Formula One,” Contos said.

If children are learning about sex from pornography - I’ll humbly admit that was my early “education”, not due to my own wants but a severe lack of parental input and presence (thanks mum and dad, didn’t mess me up at all) - the answer isn’t to put a children’s book about sex on shelves. Sure, make it available as a resource to parents who want to engage with that resource when they are ready to, but the gaping hole in Australian society today isn’t lack of resource, it’s leadership from parents, or as I like to call it: parenting.

Australians are parenting less and less. I can talk about this from my own experience, my mother walked out when I was five, my step-mother didn’t really like me, and my father worked often two to three jobs.

A former Channel V host should not have to parent my children, I don’t want Woolworths Group to parent my children, I want close to zero of the community group that identifies as politicians to parent my children, and regardless of education choices anyone makes the educators are not parenting our kids.

Parents need to parent. Families and communities need to step up. Parents are not the kids best mates. Parents are not caregivers or landlords. Parents are leaders, leading their kids from birth to greatness - of course that greatness does include a deep and loving understanding and respect of other people’s consent, and also an understanding of the concepts of sex, intercourse, dating, courting, etc.

We have a set of boundaries with our kids that we will not lie to them, we will not lead them astray, but we’ll also respect their need to play, rest, and learn at their speed.

I’ll let them learn about scissoring when their fragile-because-of-age minds can fully understand what it means. Not when they pick it up off a shelf in a book shop next to Paw Patrol.

I welcome resources like Welcome to Sex being made available as a resource for parents to introduce to children when they deem so, but please make a space in society for parents to parent their children in their own unique way. Don’t force our hands. We don’t live in a single-speed society. Our lives have a transmission, everyone’s driving at different speeds at different revs using different gears, on different roads, needing to operate at different gears. Making a book this graphic and forward available for my child to just to pick up isn’t the way.

Create space for parents to lead their children, and maybe they will?

[developingbusinessperformance]

Going Digital: What Does It Imply And How Can It Assist Your Small Business Grow?

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More and extra individuals are utilizing the medium not just for entertainment however to study topics they discover fascinating, or to rise up thus far on issues of their field. For a more wide-reaching campaign, consider using a photo competition. Ask your followers to take a photo of your product in a humorous or fascinating location, or upload a photograph of themselves using your product.

This can involve ways like product growth, advertising campaigns, or partnerships. Ensure that your onboarding process is closely tied to the shopper's shopping for cycle, aligning inside groups like advertising and gross how to grow my business sales to ensure an environment friendly onboarding process. Continuously evaluate outcomes to your forecasted growth goals to see in case your projected outcomes are nonetheless achievable or if anything needs to be adjusted.

Choose KPIs that align with the business goals that you can appropriately measure. Consider the price, time and resources required to implement every thought. "When I started the business it was simply me, a box bed room and a computer working at 16Mhz. It was 1993. There was no net, no Google, all I actually had was a cellphone and my mind. Sources of begin up funding, from banks to investors and grants to non-public financial savings. Advice on defending your wellbeing, self-confidence and psychological health from the pressures of starting and working a business.

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Before you are taking any steps to grow your small business, you want a advertising plan — consider this as a highway map for your business. Your small business advertising plan should allow you to get from the place you are now to the place you need to be , and be sure that every technique or tactic you utilize will help get you there. If you give them better experiences and merchandise, they’ll immediately reward business growth coach you on social media; should you don’t, they’ll inform the world even quicker. Making your potential and current shoppers happy with their experience is important to fast growth. If you’re a business owner, work out what you can handle and what requires exterior help. If you don’t have the experience or time to take on some tasks, you must outsource them; in any other case, your company’s growth and growth might be slowed.

This is why you want to plan fastidiously and ask yourself the key question - is my business able to grow. It creates new opportunities, brings in additional clients and generates higher earnings. It’s always important to evaluation the quantity your prospects pay for your products/services often. This ensures you're operating in line with competitors, production prices and demand. But in these instances of uncertainty, you have to review these prices much more frequently to make sure the price you are charging aligns together with your income objectives as inflation continues to rise.

If your small business is having trouble finding or retaining clients, or if you want more individuals to purchase from you, it’s time to contemplate growth advertising. Look at our marketing tips and recommendation for small business homeowners on creating an effective advertising plan, and keep in mind to think about the significance of model name values. During the COVID pandemic, several companies needed to pivot their offering to the web space, which was excellent for growth. It meant more shoppers from completely different locations became interested in their services or products. It could be more difficult to provide a private service as your corporation grows.

Leading on the Edge of Chaos, acquiring new prospects can price a corporation round 5 occasions more than retaining present ones. In truth, a 2% increase in customer retention can have the same effect as lowering a company’s prices by 10%. Another great way you presumably can leverage collaborations with other companies is by starting to refer prospects to them and asking them to refer some to you in return. In that method you ought to have a really stable network of referrals and a steady stream of recent clients coming in.

[divergent-one-1984]

ISOLATION and RUINED RELATIONSHIPS as part of TARGETED GROUP STALKING and HARASSMENT

One aspect of the stalking, harassment, psychological abuse and torture campaign that I have not talked about in so much depth is the deep betrayal by friends and family members who choose to turn on you and engage in the harassment. I have had to cut off the majority of friends and family I had relationships with because they chose to do the wrong thing (for whatever their individual reasons may be, none of which have to do with me because I did nothing to them, their hands were obviously forced / manipulated to turn, for a myriad of reasons they felt justified for) and engage in the harassment campaign.

Starting in SUMMER 2016, after the TARGETED COMMUNITY STALKING and HARASSMENT began, I began removing people gradually from my life on an individual basis as I began to realize based on multiple interactions with them over time that they were engaging in similar harassment I had experienced at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION and in my community. With these people, it was mostly DIRECTED CONVERSATION, GASLIGHTING, and BAITING. I am a pretty intuitive person so I can often pick up on things that just dont seem inline especially with people I have known anywhere from 10+ 20+ years to practically my entire life. I can even detect the pulse of the neighborhood changing and feeling differently for me because I have been part of the community for 46 years, since 1976.

Before SUMMER 2016, I never had issues with individuals or groups of individuals in this community, which has always been fairly diverse.

After SUMMER 2016, its like someone placed a ball of slander in my neighborhood and it was spreading like cancer between people who knew me practically my whole life and complete strangers. These 2 distinct groups were treating me the same, disrepectfully, weirdly, rudely, just differently without any provocation from me.

My life prior to SUMMER 2016 and after are very different.

Before SUMMER 2016 I was a person with a social circle consisting of many people, many of whom included friends I have known for 10+ 20+ 30+ years. All of my life, since elementary school, I made friends and acquaintances easily in every space I inhabited, my neighborhood, schools, and workplaces. I did not have many family members I was close to, large family with a lot of disfunction therefore not a lot of closeness mostly because of issues with my parents generation going back, made it hard for closeness because the adults were dealing with multiple disfunctions amongst themselves so makes it hard for future generations to get together consistently and healthy, therefore some of my friends who I had know for 20+, 30+ years I considered like family. The head of this GROUP STALKING has basically told people in my life some thing or a combination of things to get them to turn against me and engage in the harassment and because of thr 24/7 ILLEGAL SURVEILLANCE anyone I come in contact with is told whatever they are told (FAKE FILES) to get them to eventually turn against me and this continues on and on, in real life and online, in social / personal and professional settings. You could never get me to do what these people have done to me under any circumstance because I have character, integrity, a sound mind, an empathetic spirit, a strong sense of right and wrong, don't subscribe to group think, and think critically about information given to me and by whom. Plus I am on a higher vibration, dedicating a significant amount of time and energy to psychologically abuse another human being is simply wrong, engaging in this is a waste of valuable time that could be dedicated to something more important and constructive, NOT destructive. I am not an idiotic moron follower or a psychopath so for those obvious reasons I would not engage in the immoral, unethical, and criminal behavior of GROUP STALKING AND HARASSMENT especially with people I know, so the positions these "family" and "friends" were placed in must have been very compromising (or they just dont know any better due to ignorance or intellectual or emotional deficiencies) to choose to throw me all the way under the bus and turn their backs. I understand and get it, a significant amount of time has passed, I have been harassed for about 8 years now so I have had a lot of time to sit with this, think about it, analyze it,etc. I am over the betrayal, I want to be left alone now. It appears that the people who still engage with my relative have to continue to harass me, I dont know if its simply a compulsion and they have gotten so used to it or they are doing it to protect their part in the ORGANIZED CRIME RING, or are they being blackmailed so thry feel coerced to keep harming me, dont know, dont care, just want to be left alone. You were cutoff, why do you still have to engage in harassment when you know I am in earshot, why cant you just stop? Others have actually stopped contacting after they sensed that they had been cutoff by me because I know what they are doing. The handful of people that remain in contact are family members who are also actively religious.

I figure if someone was able to come into their lives and make them forget the 10+ 20+ 30+ 40+ years they knew me and chose to engage in my harassment and abuse, they are compromised in ways that make me instictively want nothing to do with them, not only to protect my mental and emotional well being by removing the abuser but they are essentially involved in ORGANIZED CRIME and I dont want anything to do with criminals or people with some kind of diminished capacity or cowardness that would make them make such a decision to harm me.

These so called friends and family did not deserve my time and energy in the first place, they have shown me who they really are when it all came down to it and I am better off for it, if they are no longer around. I can no longer trust you, you are engaged in criminal activity, and you will never tell me the truth about what you have chosen to do to me, which for your best interest you shouldn't because if you dont know that you are actually engaged in ORGANIZED CRIME, silence will be the main way to protect yourself from being held accountable for your actions.

---BTW, NYPD sirens just started going off as I type this draft in my Word Program at about 6:25 AM---

Since my gradual removal of people I am no longer in contact with these people because they chose to engage in my harassment and I have to protect myself by any means.

This harassment campaign has been inflicted upon me since 2015 in the form of WORKPLACE MOBBING while I was employed at THE NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION from 2014 to 2016.

The WORKPLACE MOBBING PROCESS was instigated by NATASHA LIGGINS-MODELO and supported by her mean girl sisters TOLANI ADEBOYE and KHADIJA DAVIS, all of whom got their "people" in the workplace to actively engage in an abuse campaign to remove me from the workplace by forcing me to quit or fabricating a firing for cause with some criminal element attached to it, namely physical assault, since they could not sabatoge me on my work, although they tried, they had to try another area to sabatoge, my reputation and freedom.

The first "friend" that I had to remove from my life because it became apparent to me that they had been turned against me based on the final communication we had via Instant Messenger, ABDOULAZIZ BARRY, aka BARRY aka AZIZ BARRY was a friend I made while employed at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION.

BARRY initiated contact, I did not know him at all, we did not work in the same department and I don't recall ever seeing him prior to this meeting in which he initiated the conversation) BARRY and I met in FEBRUARY 2015, developed a friendship over time where we communicated both during and outside of work hours (mainly through instant messenger) as well as met in person occassionally, both during work hours and outside of work hours.

The last communication I had with him was via Instant Messenger in MAY 2016. I ended the friendship, politely and respecfully, after he attempted to bait me into some a negative interaction that would match the lies being told about me in the workplace at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION.

This was about a month and half after quitting from the job and about 2 to 3 weeks after I reported the WORKPLACE MOBBING to NYS DEPARTMENT OF LABOR.

In April 2016 I quit NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION due to the WORKPLACE MOBBING. BARRY and I were still friends afterwards until I realized different and cut him out of my life MAY 2016. He was saying things to me that were out of character, bizarre, and nonsensical and looked like some kind of a set up. When he failed at baiting me into a negative interaction with him, he seemed to backtrack and insisted we meet in person to further discuss to end thing amicably, I refused because there was nothing else to discuss as far as I was concerned, I was respectful and polite and chose to end the friendship. I was clear about not wanting to be friends anymore. No means No, basically. We were adults and I did not need to explain myself any further I thought I was very clear and to the point. I barely just left the workplace I was being abused in, of which he knew about, and now he was abusing me. I felt like I just needed to get away from the whole thing, plus he seemed to be baiting me so he was no longer someone I thought I could trust.

He replied again attempting to try to get me to meet up or call him for us to discuss, I did not reply.

May 2016 was the last communication I had with ABDOULAZIZ BARRY.

Shortly after this, the TARGETED COMMUNITY HARASSMENT began in ASTORIA, NY SUMMER 2016. Based on my observation it was mostly Muslim people who were engaging in the harassment, I dont think this is coincidence. If you don't recognize by the name ABDOULAZIZ BARRY is Muslim.

At the end of this are explanations for ISOLATION AND RUINED RELATIONSHIPS, 2 tactics used in ORGANIZED GROUP STALKING and HARASSMENT.

The short explanation is my character has been defamed, a mixture of lies and confidential truths had been spread around the workplace and town to slander me in order to get people to engage in the harassment, and make them feel like they are justified in the harassment in order to isolate me from mainstream society and leave me with no financial, social emotional support, and promote instability and the lie that I am an anti social loner and difficult person who does not get along with people, who hates people, which is a bunch of bullshit, but this is the picture they have to paint to match to their fabrications and lies about who I am in order to marginalize me, damage my reputation and credibility so that no one will believe me or care enough to find out the truth about me and what has been done to me or to question as to if if the things they were told were even true.

Since cutting off ABDOULAZIZ BARRY, there have been many more friends, family, and family friends whom I have had to cut off because of their actions.

I want to talk about one in particular who just hit their last button with me yesterday. I had to tell this woman to stop trying to engage / talk to me. LINDA ADAMS-CRUSE, a family friend of at least 50 years called my relatives cell phone to speak and sent a message to me through my relative, whom I am the caregiver for. LINDA knows that I don't speak to her anymore. She calls and comes to visit my relative occassionally, each time she makes contact she has been engaging in harassing behavior towards me for sometime now in the form of DIRECTED CONVERSATION. LINDA ADAMS-CRUSE also is the GODMOTHER of a SIBLING of mine, SAME SIBLING WHO HAS BEEN HARASSING ME FOR A WHILE NOW also engaging their child in the harassment. Also, this SIBLING , is the 1 other person besides WILFRED SHAWN KIRKALDY who knew about HPV diagnosis until it was apparently illegally accessed and leaked by person(s) employed at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION and / or associated NYC employee staff such as from NYPD.

I have distanced myself from LINDA and my SIBLING and her CHILD as much as I can under the circumstances, when THEY call I close my relatives door so that I can't hear the conversation and when inclined to go into my bedroom and close door.

When LINDA and SIBLING and their child come over to visit I don't engage with them, I basically buzz LINDA into apartment building and open the apartment door leave to door slightly ajar so that she can see its open, then go on about my business. My SIBLING has a key so most times I just ignore them and watch TV.

My relative is bed bound so I have to open the door to let people in, LINDA ADAMS-CRUSE has been a friend of my relative for like 50+ years and my relative has been in this same apartment for about 46 years so LINDA knows where to go to visit with her friend.

The last couple of times to really let her know that I dont want anything to do with her I expressed by my actions and inaction. I buzzed her in the apartment building, unlocked the apartment door, left it slightly ajar and walked away back into the apartment. I did not stand their with the door open to greet her at all. One of those times, she actually walked into the living room where I was and said Hi, I did not turn to look at her or reply, it was as if she were not there.

Upon leaving she would make a bit of a rauchous, prior to me really icing her out she would rattle relatives wheelchair which is parked by apartment door, slam apartment door to ket me know exactly when she left, loudly stating she was leaving. My response eventually would be to not get up to see her out or say goodbye, I waited a few minutes to ensure she left the apartment before getting up to lock the door.

Last night she sent a verbal message to me via a phone conversation she had with my relative, so in case she was not clear on the fact that I dont deal with her anymore based on my actions / inactions (which she is of course because she is involved in the harassment, her sending a message to me through my relative was to intentionally harass and abuse) I responded to her via text message on my relatives phone not to send anymore messages to me and that basically if she had not noticed the last couple of times she came over did not engage with her at all I wanted her to know that I no longer talk to her and I wanted her to be clear on that in case she was not.

As I have stated previously, in addition to the motivations of hate, racism, and misogyny, being that I am an African American female, there us an undercurrent of religious nuttery that is a guiding force in this TARGETED GROUP STALKING AND HARASSMENT, even starting from the WORKPLACE MOBBING at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION.

THE MEAN GIRLS - These woman were all believers

(CHRISTIAN / CATHOLIC)

NATASHA-LIGGINS MODELO (INSTIGATOR OF THE BULLYING / WORKPLACE MOBBING) I recall Natasha talking about an event she was part of in church, I think it was Praise dancing or something of the sort.

TOLANI ADEBOYE (FRIEND OF NATASHA AND HEAD OF MY DEPARTMENT WHO JOINED RANKS WITH NATASHA TO HARASS ME) I recall one time I ordered lunch for Tolani and myself, she told me to order for her whatever I was ordering so I ordered a dish that contained chicken, she stated when the food arrived she forgot it was Friday she was observing Lent / Good Friday and she could not eat meat so she ate the rice and vegetables and left the chicken

KHADIJA DAVIS (FRIEND OF NATASHA WHO JOINED RANKS WITH NATASHA TO HARASS ME) I don't recall anything as specific as the others but recall her generally talking about attending Church.

ABDOULAZIZ BARRY aka BARRY aka AZIZ BARRY (Person I developed friendship with, who ultimately turned on me and who I cut off shortly after quitting NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION) Religious on the opposite end. BARRY is MUSLIM. I spent plenty of time with this person communicating via Instant Messenger and in person to know he was quite active in his faith.

He took me to a Halal restaurant in Brooklyn on a couple of occassions. I know that he prayed during the day at work and often went to a Mosque close to the job to pray during his lunch break.

One time, maybe a week or so after I quit NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION, we met up at a Red Lobster in Harlem where I ordered an alcoholic beverage. He offered to pay for my meal but asked if it would be alright if he excluded the drink from that since he does not drink alcohol because of his religion, he did not want to pay for the drink but would pay for my food, to which I agreed because although I am an aethiest I respect peoples choices and their faith and that was not a problem for me. I was appreciative that he paid for even a portion because it was not expected and great because I was afterall unemployed.

So, at the genesis of this harassment were pretty religious people who were active in their faith, they did not seem to be casual based on my conversations and experiences with them. Most of the peope harassing me in my neighborhood are also religious, many of the Muslims around here are fundamentalists from Middle Eastern countries, many of the woman cover their hair, there have even been a few who cover their whole bodies including eyes. Latinos are also known to be very religious people and I know for a fact based on observation and experience that out of the other 8 tenants in this building, 7 of them for sure are religious, 3 being Christian / Catholic and the remaing being Muslim.

LINDA ADAMS-CRUSE, whom I have known for a good portion of my life, basically since I was a child, has always been an active church member and believer. Her family is this way as well.

RUINED RELATIONSHIPS When targets are in a relationship, the members of the Organized Gang Stalking group will try to ruin that relationship. This could be friendships, family or significant others. If it’s a romantic relationship, they will find out what your significant other likes and try to get them to cheat, or leave you. If it’s a friendship they will tell lies to come between you. The same goes for family. This is done so that targets will have no means of support, once they do realize that something is going wrong in their lives. When this Mobbing continues out in the community it is called Organized Stalking. Organized Stalking is Mobbing that takes place out in public. Deception using lies about the target appear to be the most common method used to get citizens to participate. Specifically, smear campaigns using bogus investigations. Furthermore, it is likely that they take advantage of existing federally-sponsored mechanisms, such as community crime watch or community policing organizations, senior citizens organizations, & religious groups, & use them as unsuspecting instruments in their retaliation campaigns. Many people across the country have reported being harassed by these community groups. Some of these people they’re using think they’re doing a community service. This is a very well funded & organized service/cult that is apparently condoned or even run by the state. The perpetrators of Organized Gang Stalking are serious criminals who do great damage, and the acts done are very serious crimes by any measure. Organized Gang stalking is a highly criminal campaign, one directed at a target individual, and one that aims to destroy an innocent persons life through covert harassments, malicious slander and carefully crafted and executed psychological assaults. Organized Gang Stalking deprives the targeted individual of their basic constitutional rights and destroys their freedom, setting a stage for the destruction of a person, socially, mental and physical, through a ceaseless assault that pervades all areas of a persons life.

ISOLATION For this harassment to be successful, it’s important to be able to isolate the target from friends, family members, co-workers and even spouses if they are not already involved in the harassment. To accomplish this isolation many methods are used included, but not limited to: slander, lies, fake files, sabotage, anything that will get the target into a situation where they have no support system. This is important for them to succeed.