#<- you would not believe the shit that happens in the lambs love life

[mtsodie]

arte only has one ( normal ) follower trait ? goddamn girl we need to get you a personality

[power-chords]

I’m reading a 1985 Joanna Russ essay on Kirk/Spock fanfiction because, you know, midrash paratext etc, and this shit goes so hard:

But that's not all that's in the material. In many ways the K/S world is a great advance over the standard romances. For one thing, there is explicit sexuality instead of the old Romances' one-kiss-in the-moonlight. And I believe Lamb and Veith see rightly when they describe the androgyny of the relationship, the impossibility (despite the coding into the Spock character of so many female traits) of assigning gender roles to either partner, ever—obviously this is very different from the romances, in which a woman's problems in life are solved for her by a dominant male. The K/S insistence that the characters be first-class human beings is inevitably compromised by the social necessity of awarding that V.I.P. status only to men.

To me one important conclusion we can draw from these stories is that sexual fantasy can't be taken at face value. Another is that no sexual cues are morally privileged (though some kinds of sexual behavior certainly are) since sexualizing any kind of behavior drastically changes the meaning of that behavior. Translated into real life, the "hurt-comfort" theme of K/S would simply be pernicious, from the woman who can do sex only under the guise of pity, to the lover who wants to keep her beloved dependent and powerless, in which condition she can then "love" the beloved. What excites in fantasy is both far more exaggerated than real life and not the same as in real life; that is, fantasy isn't just a vicarious substitute for real experience; its meaning as experience becomes changed when it's made into fantasy. Without understanding the rather complicated context of the fantasy, one "reads" it literally—like the woman friend of mine (new to Star Trek) who said in disgust that K/S was about rape and power games. This is simply not true in terms of the genre. In fact, the story that evoked this response is a classic K/S tale in which Spock goes into pon farr again after pages and pages of agonized misunderstandings, thus (thank goodness!) providing a way for the lovers finally to declare themselves and make out like crazy.

What seems to be happening in sexual fantasy is that any condition imposed on or learned with sexuality is capable of becoming sexualized, either as sex or a substitute for sex or as an indispensable condition of it. Such a process is certainly at work in the K/S universe. Yet it's perfectly clear to me that K/S writers and readers don't literally wish to become male any more than they literally want their dear ones to bleed and die in their arms or to die with their lovers. What they do want is sexual intensity, sexual enjoyment, the freedom to choose, a love that is entirely free of the culture's whole discourse of gender and sex roles, and a situation in which it is safe to let go and allow oneself to become emotionally and sexually vulnerable. The literal conditions and cues of the K/S world, far from being impeccably moral, are sexualizations of situations and behavior K/S fans did not choose and quite likely wouldn't want in reality. Moreover they are situations and behavior that are absolutely antithetical to getting sexual and emotional satistaction in the real world, which fact at least some of the K/S readers and writers know perfectly well.

[beezonia]

okay since me and nina were talking about crazy ex girlfriend and the song “it was a shit show”

my brain has non stop been thinking about how well it goes with Nathalie and her relationship with the Agreste’s

so take this and do what you like with it and hey @ninadove thank you for kicking the brain worms in my head

——

I love you yes, and I confess, the thought of staying is so enticing

She has to go, before things with them get worse.

But it’s hard Nathalie has been with the Agreste’s for most of her life. To leave would be potentially the worse thing she’s done!

They’d been her confidant’s her shoulders to lean on, until they weren’t.

Until they hurt her and broke her. Emilie and Gabriel taunted her with the power she could never have, with the love she’d never have.

They never did love her the way she’d loved them. God why would they, what did Nathalie had they made her so special in their eyes?

It was then Nathalie knew she had to go. Before it was to late.

Before her poor heart shattered into so many pieces. She���d never recover, Nathalie would be theirs to mould and shape into whatever they wanted her to be.

A puppet.

I can’t believe what I’m sacrificing

She thinks of Adrien and how he struggles to live up to what they expect of him, the legacies he’s surrounded by.

If she leaves now what would he do but sacrifice himself like a lamb. Afraid to let those closest to him down.

God Nathalie can’t leave, she can’t watch him curl into a shell and hide.

He’s a teenager Adrien should be living his life not running away from it!

She’d be sacrificing they boy’s happiness, if Nathalie quit, took everything she had and what they owed her. She’d be leading Adrien like a lamb to slaughter (they’d take their anger out on him and Nathalie couldn’t dare have that happen)

We can’t undo, can’t make amends.

“Oh? Did you think we cared enough to take you with us?”

It’s a sneer, a memory Nathalie doesn’t want to remember. They’d laughed and laughed in her face until she’d been sure of the tears pooling in her eyes.

“Remember your place, Sancoeur.”

Nathalie had all but dragged her feet towards the door, storming off in a flurry of anger and embarrassment.

The woman should have known then that everything she’d done, the person she’d become was just not her.

No, she was a shell of the woman she had been in her prime. Bold and free, now Nathalie was cold and frigid.

They couldn’t make amends and she has no clue why she didn’t notice it till it was right in front of her.

Dysfunction is our lingua franca

Emilie depended on her to much, Gabriel depended on her to little. They both push and pulled like Nathalie was some sort of rag doll.

It hurt her heart that they’d never care for her like they did each other.

Emilie wanted more of Nathalie, Gabriel wanted less but the desire in his eyes said otherwise.

It was dizzying, Nathalie could never think straight when she was with them. It was dark and choppy, like rouge waters in the sea.

She never knew what was coming, if it was bad or good. Would they praise her with sweet words or would they spill poison from painted lips.

Life is short and we’re not getting any younger

When Nathalie thinks back on it, she’s wasted the better half of her life waiting for them to finally adore her.

But of course, that adoration only goes to Emilie, that passionate fire burns the brightest for her.

For each other.

No way in hell would they add another mixture into that equation. It’d cause chaos, unbalance in their lives.

But she’s getting older and Nathalie might as well just live as a hermit. Closed off from the world and the harshness of heartache.

Yeah. That’s exactly what she’d do.

That’s exactly when I should split though.

Nathalie packs her bags one clear night, better to leave without a trace then cause a scene.

Heart thumping in it’s cage, this was a whole new chapter. Leaving the place she’d called home and finding a new place.

A new life, a better no dysfunction life.

She was free! Or she’d hoped to be.

“You’re leaving us?!”

No response.

“Now you’re going to ignore us?!”

Again, no response.

“Don’t go, you can’t!”

It’s Emilie pleading for her to stay, but Nathalie ignores her big puppy dog eyes. She’s gotten over them.

“I can. Thank you for giving me this job, I’ll see myself out.”

I won’t forget, I won’t regret. This beautiful, heart-stopping, breathtaking, life changing….

——-

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCHHHHH I AM CRYING

[wasawattpadkid]

this might not make sense but I absolutely love your billy and Stu playlist. Could you maybe write a couple headcannons on which songs they like and why? You could include the reader or not it's up to you thanks Maddy!❤️‍🔥

I think I get what you're asking. I hope you like it!💕

Billy's playlist

Stu's playlist

Billy

1.) 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins

This is Billy's favorite song I don't make the rules. Smashing Pumpkins is one of his favorite bands. The song reminds him of a time he was happy. He listens to music like it'd play in a movie about his life. This would play while a montage of him and Stu flickered on the silver screen.

2.) The Killing Moon by Echo & the Bunny Men

This song always finds its way onto his mixtapes. It makes him think of how love can happen to anyone even if they pray it doesn't. He equates love with death just because you have no control over when and where it happens.

3.) A Day In The Life by The Beatles

A Beatles song amidst alternative rock is definitely a little jarring. Billy actually enjoys the Beatles. It was his mother's favorite band. He grew up listening to the Sgt Peppers album on repeat. She'd sing song after song to him trying to get him to sleep. This song reminds him of simpler times.

4.) How Soon Is Now? by The Smiths

Billy's a Smiths fan. He puts music on just to brood over his life. The man thinks he has better music taste than everyone else he knows. Stu likes to make fun of Billy's music taste. "Damn does that shit come with razor blades?"

5.) Mama I'm Coming Home by Ozzy Osbourne

Mommy issues. Likes to play music he knows that'll make him cry. He thinks if he makes himself cry in private he'll be less likely to accidentally cry around anyone.

6.) It's The End Of The World As We Know It by R.E.M

Stu knows all the words to We Didn't Start The Fire by Billy Joel. Billy thinks he's a dork because of this. Yet in the privacy of his car, he will sing every single word of this song.

7.) Every Breath You Take by The Police

Told a girl he related to this song on a first date. He's still not sure why she stopped talking to him. Billy still thinks it's a romantic song.

8.) Goodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus

Only knows the song because of Silence of the Lambs. Will start dancing to this song if he's been drinking.

9.) Flesh For Fantasy by Billy Idol

Remember how I said he thinks about where a song would fit in a movie about his life? This would play while he's kissing down your chest. His movie wouldn't have a full sex scene he's not a sellout. More like a montage of kissing and soft moans. It would be frustrating to watch for people like me and you.

10.) A Girl Like You by Edwyn Collins

Without wasting words he'd play you this song hoping you'd understand how he felt about you. Billy was odd like that. He obsessed over lyrics and a song's meaning. When he realized he had a crush on you he immediately started making a list of songs that reminded him of you. They could put his emotions into words when he couldn't.

Stu

1.) In The Meantime by Spacehog

Stu loves music. He doesn't care about lyrics although they can make a song better. If he likes instruments he'll buy the album. Will buy a whole album for one song. This is one example. Stu doesn't like what he calls "sad bastard music." You will rarely catch him listening to music he knows will bum him out.

2.) Blood Makes Noise by Suzanne Vega

This song itches his brain every time he listens to it. Stu is odd. He likes rock but if there's too much going on it freaks him out. Not one for screamo makes him feel like he's being yelled at. This song is on his sex playlist do what you will with that information.

3.) Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

Nirvana fan first human second. He has a crush on Kurt Cobain. Hates Cortney Love like she's Yoko Ono. Stu likes to learn about bands and artists' personal lives. He's nosey. "Can you believe that shit? I'd treat them so much better." Stu would rant to his friend about a random celebrity making Billy want to drink Draino.

4.) Paradise By the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf

He thinks the song is hilarious. Will perform the 8-minute-long song at karaoke. There will be an empty room once he's done. He doesn't regret his actions.

5.) A.D.I.D.A.S by Korn

It was your fault. You picked out the movie Say Anything and made him watch it. You woke up at 3 in the morning to Stu loudly blasting this song outside of your house. Not only was it funny it was romantic to him. Cops were called.

6.) I Was Made For Lovin' You by KISS

This is one of Stu's favorite songs. When he was little he was obsessed with KISS. He'd put on a full face of face paint and he'd stain his tongue and hands with red food coloring. The boy would run around the house singing and dancing. To his parents, however, Stu's unserious habit of playing with makeup wasn't something they were proud of. His music taste is all over the place because he constantly went through different phases trying to figure out what he could do to please his parents. Nothing ever did.

7.) Peaches by The Presidents of the United States

If you write a song that sounds good and had some goofy ass lyrics Stu's sold. Stu will sing this every time the school lunch consists of peaches. Billy has thrown several trying to get his friend to shut up.

8.) Iron Man by Black Sabbath

Stu loves to stir up shit and have arguments. He was actually on the debate team for his freshman and sophomore years of high school. Billy thinks Ozzy Osbourne is better alone than with Black Sabbath. Every time this is brought up Stu acts like a little piece of him dies. Plus when this song comes on the radio Stu likes to cover his mouth imitating the voice at the beginning. It's where they got the whole ghostface voice idea from.

9.) Fight For Your Right by Bestie Boys

Stu is a huge fan of The Beastie Boys. Their first record is a go-to when there's a party at his is. Of course, this is his favorite song of theirs. The amount of times that man has bounced around an empty house blasting that band is almost worrying.

10.) Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads.

Best for last. If Stu had a theme song this would be it. In his movie, it'd play as he's running around as Ghostface. He has a lot of energy so he loves to chase people. Randy called him an "evil golden retriever" once and Stu likes the comparison.

[slytherinshalo]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐁

parts: 𝐈,𝐈𝐈, 𝐈𝐈𝐈

「 𖤐 TOM 𖤐 」

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑, seventh year the year everything went to shit muggle borns started disappearing and dropping like flies. The year I created the Knights of Walpurgis, to help protect the muggle borns children of the next generation of witches and wizards from whatever was causing them to become more vulnerable.

In creating this group morana, my love, my fiancé was there with me every step of the way, she became my second in command, she’s the reason why the girls of this group are also here with us now besides the fact that we all have the same goal.

「 𖤐 MORANA 𖤐 」

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑, I can’t believe what I just what I just found, professor dumbledore and the order are killing muggle born witches and wizards. Once I told the knights of my finding, Tom was shaking with anger, Lilly, Edward shaking with anxiety, the rest of us shaking with fear for not only our friends but for the muggle borns that attend our school.

I grabbed Tom’s hand knowing it calms him down, so he doesn’t do anything that puts him in azkaban. We vow to keep not only Lilly and Edward safe but also the muggle borns of Hogwarts safe, the muggle borns of the next generation safe, we vowed to not only keep them safe but we found families that would take them in as wards, raise them from birth if they have to until they are of age when they can decide if they want to stay in the magical world or live in the muggle world.

𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑, I can’t believe it a year after finally getting married to the love of my life, I gave him his first child, a baby boy, named Tom Marvolo Riddle Jr, after his father just with a different middle name. My sweet boy he’s so small, yet so adorable.

「 𖤐 TOM 𖤐 」

𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑, I can’t believe it, he’s finally here, my first son, my first child, my name sake, my wife, merlin it still feels so surreal to be calling her that, my beautiful wife is so strong, her labor wasn’t the easiest but they’re both still here, both sleeping peacefully.

Our friends and my family came to see her and the baby, morana at first was very hesitant to allow anyone but me to hold him, but after an awhile she let everyone see him, we even showed baby regulus him.

𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑, shit shit shit, this wasn’t supposed to happen, I had no other choice he was going to hurt my family, my wife and my sons I couldn’t allow that, I had to kill that muggle man, this was never the goal of the knights, Fuck!

“Morana, my love where are you” I called out to my wife looking for her in the knights of walpurgis manor. “I’m here my dear, i’m in the living room” I followed her voice seeing her with our sons Tj is now three and mattheo is now two, my sweet boys asleep next to their mother. I run to her, she greets me with open arms, we huge for what feels like an eternity, before we let go, I check her over to make sure she’s not hurt, then I check our sons and they seem fine as well.

“My Little Lamb, I was so worried about all of you, I-I had no other choice, I didn’t want to do it please don’t hate me, my love-“ she grabbed me stopping my tangent, “Tom, my dear, I am fine, the boys are fine, my love that man wanted to hurt us, you did what you had to do to keep us safe, I could never hate you” she said before kissing me on the lips, until I felt I small tug on my pants, looking down I see little Mattheo rubbing his eye, i pick him up placing him on my hip before placing a kiss on his forehead and ruffling his hair.

「 𖤐 MORANA 𖤐 」

𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑, he had no choice, he was protecting us, this wasn’t his goal, it was to keep the worlds separated as possible.

I apparated me and the boys to the knights manor, it’s the safest place for us right now, I waited for my husband to return to us. The boys were next to me sleeping on the couch, it’s was just yesterday they were born now they’re two and three years old. I watched between them and the clock, waiting for Tom to return. My thoughts were on overdrive, racing so fast I couldn’t keep up, until I heard his voice call out to me, he’s back, thank you merlin.

“I’m here my dear, i’m in the living room”, I call out to him, waiting for him I played my wedding ring, until I felt his presence before seeing him he ran to me, I opened my arms hugging him, before letting go he checked me over then checked over our sons. After he started rambling which I cut off, before kissing him on the lips, until he felt a small tug on his pants, looking down I saw little Mattheo rubbing his eye, Tom picked him up placing him on his hip before placing a kiss on his forehead and ruffling his hair.

My two boys, I look over at baby Tom, seeing him looking at us, before reaching up to me. Picking him up he put his head on my shoulder before going back to sleep. Me and Tom take the boys to our room before getting into bed and falling into a dream less sleep.

© 𝐬𝐥𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐨 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. do not copy, translate or claim any of my writing or works as your own.

[pumpumdemsugah]

And divestors will whine about how white women always got to be pink princesses or some shit. How the box of acceptable women hood has narrowed so much. I swear if a young black woman wore Halle berry’s old cut they would whine about how evil and masculine it is. How I wish all those women a white boyfriend, with the full blessing of the monkey’s paw.

Since covid in particular, divestors have become a cult of the worst self help advice masquerading as Black women empowerment just because now and again they're right about big issues. It's not all of them, but the ones that are hostile to feminism are usually just not smart at all. They don't read and I remember watching one and her saying she avoids anything feminist so she doesn't change her mind lol. Many of them have jumped out of the role of Black women being a sacrificial lamb for the Black community and think because they're right about that, they shouldn't be reflective of any other beliefs they have. If the Stepford wife thing isn't and hasn't worked for other women, why would it for us ? So many are so fixated on ' Black women didn't get to do X ' they're not even thinking ' is this even a good idea?' , ' am I going about this in a sensible reality based way ?' And they will hear this and think they're being asked to lower their standards and date a drug dealer and not, think about your pension if you're going to be a stay at home wife because men die before women; make sure you have work experience because "good men" leave women all the time

Literally all they do is make the box for acceptable femininity for Black women smaller and harsher and then pretend it's doing us a favour. They're pretending their doltishness is refinement because they don't act like cardi b. They're never avid readers or interested in art. They think because 19yros are taken in by their act because they wear midi-skirts that's going to be impressive by itself

They just like the aesthetics of social media ' old money ' style and that's not a problem by itself but the way they build all their ideas from that is stupid. They encourage the most irredeemable form of vacuousness for us like Black women benefit from people thinking we're dumb. They will call behaviour that's obviously a trauma response " masculine" and pretend they're worldly without any of the " work" of knowing anything about the world.

Black women and girls should be reading, going to galleries, building relationships based on compassion, travelling but these goats will have you believe it's masculine to be career focused as if inflation doesn't exist and we need more money for the same shit . A man that comes from ' old money ' typically marries within their social circle like all wealthy people do and if you want a wealthy man, you better get a good education and a good career so you're at the same conferences and office buildings as them

There are so many forms of anti- intellectualism on social media masquerading as self help. If you're fucked up in the head, seek help and if you want to transform your life it's not happening because you made a blog and use cursive font

It's good for Black women to focus on ourselves but Black Femininity types and divestors are getting crazier and crazier as a group ( individually some divestors are fine ). Many YouTube Black Femininity types hate ForHarriet but she is literally the one with an educated, probably high earning, I go to charity ball man because even though she's on social media, she's not acting loud and stupid and being a Harvard dropout still means you went to Harvard and they didn't.

I don't believe in lying to women about shit. Give them the facts and stop selling a fantasy and then an e-book. There are lots of ways to have a beautiful life full of love and safety as a Black woman but that takes effort and planning not content consumption

Black girls gain nothing by being isolated ( in an effort to stay pure ) and not learning about the world. If you can't figure anything else you can do but go to the club like those other ' hoodrats' congrats you don't have any hobbies or interests or friends. Work on that

[prettyboykatsuki]

i'm bombarding you with asks i'm so sorry but i have FEELINGS about this game—

i was so adamant about you helping the church folks in Saint Denis because the scene with Arthur and the sister would NEVER have happened if you didn't do the side quest! 😭 instead you get a small scene with Swanson which isn't nearly as impactful imo. literally the way he LOOKS and SOUNDS when he finally says out loud, "i'm afraid" fucking KILLS ME EVERY TIME.

he's so TIRED and EXHAUSTED and he knows Dutch is going to be his death but he loves Dutch and the gang and STILL tries to save him because he has nothing else and doesn't see his own skin as worth saving. but you know who he sees worth it?

John.

the same John he was (rightfully) giving grief to for abandoning the family that Arthur WISHES he still had. the same John who he would needle and bicker with, but in hindsight it resembles the needling from an older brother trying to keep the younger in check. and because he is who he is, it's so vividly clear that Arthur, despite everything, still loved John and still cared about him and his family SO much.

hell, Arthur loved everyone else in that gang more than himself. except for fucking Micah. but because he's so loyal to Dutch he would never do what he wants to do to Micah and played nice with him longer than he ever fucking deserved.

i just. i'm sick. i'm sick in the head. he gave EVERYTHING for the gang and tried to get those he loved safe, no matter what.

i love how you say that Arthur is too good for you. he'd never, ever believe you.

IM REALLY GLAD I DID THE QUESTS!! and i really enjoy how these little inconsequential meetings and quests impact arthurs journey as a character. like the sisters quest was simple and nothing too dire at all - but it has such a big impact on arthurs life. him saying in his journal that that conversation unburdened him after everything made me sooooo fucking weepy.

seeing arthur get more perpetually sick and seeing the cloud of death hang over him as the game progresses and him still doing everything he can to save dutch when he is well passed saving. dutch is an unforgiveable piece of shit and i do hatre him for what he did. it was truly truly truly so painful to see arthur continue to give to dutch. partially because he loved him and partially because he wasn't sure what else there is

i had a very long conversation about this w lamb but i really. i really love the relationship there is between john and arthur. i really love that they have a genuine sense of brotherhood between them and that the corruption in the van der linde gang stems so much from this corruption of the family structure. arthur sees john as his brother. like in a serious sense.

both the way he reprimands john and the way he looks out for him. the way he's willing to sacrifice everything and believes that his life will have at least meant something if john makes it out. i think arthur projects a lot onto john in a way that is only experience with older brothers. his hopes and wants and dreams. even his grief. he passes those things onto john and john, like younger brothers often do - take them on. he absorbs so many of arthurs mannerisms and tries hard to make good on what arthur wanted of him.

it was . so painful for me to hear that john heard arthurs voice in his head after everything. arthur loved that gang to pieces even when it didnt do him the courtesy of returning that love in the sligtest. oughhsdjs

YURI YOU SAYING THAT IS MAKING ME SO SICK. he is TOO good for me like so genuinely i dont think i could date a man so decent but you're right that he would never believe it and that makes me sick. arthur morgan you foolish and silly man

[sydneyofalltrades]

for the ask game: 002; Ocean O’connell Rosenberg

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

• How I feel about this character: I feel very conflicting feelings with Ocean, she needs a hug, years of therapy, and to apologize to everyone she hurt

• All the people I ship romantically with this character: the only ever persons I ship her with is Jane Doe/Savannah Doe/Penny Lamb. I can’t see her with anyone else lol

• My non-romantic OTP for this character: I feel like Ozzie and Ricky would’ve been so cute as kids, the chaotic little shits they are

• My unpopular opinion about this character: Ocean is a horrible person. Point blank. Yes, she was neglected as a child, but she had no rights brutally hurting the people in her life. Her attempts of making herself the most progressive was toxic as shit, and I do believe she did change, but her in life was just wrong.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I genuinely wish Ocean had more interactions with the others after her apology, like as tho they forgive her

• my ОТР: perfectdolls to the goddamn END!!!

• my cross over ship: I don’t have any lol

• a headcanon fact: Ocean grew up with curly hair that she actually loved, only for her to straighten the shit out of it in her middle school/high school years to fit in. If she did come back, she would’ve embraced them

[insipid-drivel]

My Ex’s Conspiracy Theorist Jungle-Living Uncle

There are a lot of things I don’t miss about one of my exes. However, there’s one thing I do, and that happened to be hanging out with his uncle.

My ex’s uncle was a reedy, fuzzy, unwashed recluse that lived in the middle of the jungle north of Nambucca, Australia. I don’t know exactly what the place is called because it’s off the grid and has no real name, and I still have lingering trauma from the terrifying drive to and from his house.

This was a man who understood that chem trails were real, crystals could talk, music at certain frequencies could induce psychic visions, and that he didn’t mind living amongst giant carnivorous goanas with no indoor plumbing. I have no doubt that he may have been mildly schizophrenic, which only made hanging out with him that much more fun and interesting. I love hanging out with schizophrenics and have spent years as a supporter of an online support group for them. People with schizophrenia are not scary; they’re absolutely fascinating to talk to. I have never been more captivated or engaged in a conversation than I have with schizophrenic people. My dad was schizophrenic, and I’ve never loved anyone more. Even when the symptoms scared him, which happened sometimes, all I wanted to do was listen.

My ex’s uncle was probably the most fascinating and fun character of a man I’ve ever met and still struggle to believe the day I spent at his house wasn’t some kind of psychedelic trip I had back in my apartment in Sydney. It was the middle of November and the heat and humidity was something that even the most seasoned of Floridians would’ve balked at. The kicker? It was a 6 hour drive and my ex’s janky old car’s air conditioning was broken. It was at least 104F (40C) the entire ride, outside. I felt like I had a stamina bar from a survival video game and it was a race to get from rest stop to rest stop to find air conditioning before I got heat stroke.

To get to his house, we had to switch cars to a 4-wheeled SUV. It was the most harrowing 45 minutes in my life as we had to slowly drive along a rail-thin, dirt path cut into a ravine so steep it may as well have been a cliff. My ex was not helping by telling me about the sheer number of deaths that had occurred in his living memory alone from people rolling down the ravine, which was hundreds of feet deep. (Seriously Australians, I know hazing the Americans is fun, but please you live in a land of venom, death, and a simmering disregard for all temporal consequence. Be gentle with us when we’re already shitting ourselves.)

But the view was breathtaking. It was like walking into an episode of Planet Earth. There were vast, green fields that serves as pastures for small farmers with horses and sheep - lamb being a very popular export - between vast expanses of steaming rainforest. The sounds during the day were indescribable. After we got to the end of me Staring Death In The Face For 45 Minutes and I was able to get my shit together, I understood why his uncle wanted to live there.

His house is set on stilts on an almost 45 degree angle on a hill in a clearing in the forest. If you like cottagecore, you should’ve seen this place. He had his own little hydroelectric generator that pumped water and electricity to his house. He had wifi somehow. I don’t know how. The fact that he casually offered me weed growing in a pot on his front porch before my foot touched the ground already had me comfortable with not thinking too hard.

He lived off the land and occasional trips into a town so tiny that you could stand on the top of the decline where the “Welcome To” sign was and see straight down to the “Now Leaving” sign. It was a microscopic little town of hardened badasses that spat in the Grim Reaper’s face on a daily basis. In his house, there were quartz crystals wedged into every conceivable nook and cranny, and he had a boombox from the 90′s playing low, drowning music at a specific frequency he assured me would assist in opening my Third Eye.

I assured him that every eye I had was pretty fucking wide open at that point.

He explained to me his distaste for chem trails, and I nodded along. He made me a cup of tea from a tin kettle over an open-propane burner that fueled his stove and we sat together on a bench on his fenced porch watching the cockatoos and kookaburras flying over us. Inevitably, because I had already come perilously close to wetting myself just in getting there, I expressed a need to use the restroom.

“Oh, well, you’ve got two options. Ya can go around the corner or in the river, but there are more biting flies by the river.”

“Great.” Fortunately, the hill his house was set on was so remote that it was easy for me to find a hiding spot to squat in around the corner. I didn’t want to know where he got the fertilizer for his greenhouse from.

After doing my business, I came back and we resumed chatting. He was telling me about how the wooden tool shed across from the house had once been his house, because he’d built the house with his bare hands while living out of a shack no larger than 9′x6′.

As I’m marveling at the sheer incalculable mass of this delightful madman’s testicles, I hear a rustling from the bushes.

The biggest goana I have ever seen in my life (meaning the only goana) crept out from the underbrush directly from where I’d just taken a leak. It crawled up the stoop and stared at me, forked tongue flicking as it stared at me and considered me.

My ex’s uncle grinned from ear to fucking ear while I realized that I was sitting on the hill I was literally going to die on. I froze as this gigantic, toothy lizard looked me dead in the eye, and then noticed a kookaburra in a nearby tree and decided I wasn’t worth it.

Suddenly, I feel a metal cylinder in my lap.

This man has placed a 12 gauge shotgun in my lap. “Don’t be scared! They’re just looking for birds this time of year.”

“You... can have that here?” I may be American and I may live in a swamp, but I’ve never handled guns before. I’ve never needed to. And then there was the matter that I had been convinced that Australia had banned firearms to civilians.

“I use it to protect the cockatoo chicks! They’re rare out here!” he explained, constantly chipper about the entire thing as he took the gun away and set it aside. He explained to me that a flock of a rare, endangered species of cockatoo lived in the trees around where we were sitting, and he had a permit for a shotgun in order to protect himself from exactly what just happened 2 minutes before.

Meanwhile, my ex is casually slapping my arms and legs to keep biting flies the size of quarters from making me cry for my mother, stunning them, tying a strand of hair around them, and then flinging them around like they were tiny dogs on leashes, and explaining that that’s what kids out there did for fun.

I prayed to Steve Irwin for strength. That explained Crocodile Hunter.

His uncle decides it’s time for us to have some fun and leads us away from the relative safety of his house and down to the shallows of the river we’d driven over to get there. He proceeded to teach me to catch frogs until dusk.

He brought us back to his house, and when I explained to him that I was a Bandrui and that magpies were a major spirit animal in my work in my faith, he told me to wait where I was standing and disappeared into the upstairs of his house I never got to see. He returned with a bundle of feathers. Including a tailfeather from the black-and-yellow, endangered cockatoos he had collected.

“Take them,” he said, practically shoving them into my arms while I had to take my jaw off the floor.

“What?! They’re rare! I can’t pay you!” I was shocked.

But he insisted. “No. You have important work to do. Take them.” He was so confident that I had to wonder if he knew something more than I did, and so I thanked him gratuitously. I still have his bundle of feathers to this day.

“Time for you to get back!” he abruptly pronounced as the sky started to turn pink.

“Huh?” I had no idea why he was insisting on it, but he sounded like he was confident of something.

“You’ll see!” he replied with another grin, and waved as we drove off with the sun going down.

The drive back meant another 45 minutes on the Death Road. In the dark.

That was how I discovered that, in the jungle when the sun goes down, millions of tree frogs migrate down the Death Slope. One jumped down my boobs. Getting back to where we were staying, I almost walked face-first into a Golden Orbweaver Spider, and decided I missed Bigfoot and the innocuous red eyes in the dark. At least they kept their distance.

[sobachyakukla]

how are people "removed from your internet" like why did ian say that between israel & him i would nmver have to worry about michael again because they removed him from my internet. every time i look him up it generates a page not found image & im wondering if henry had anything to do with this because he would do shit like that, instagating my behavior & then calling me dangerous. its like, a very well known tactic & my therapist told me young men do this when they want to feel vindicated as a victim without being willing to share that title so they start pushing you when they know youre mentally ill & then call you dangerous. i shouldnt be worried about what that type of male thinks of me because i honestly feel really scared of what hes capable of pushing me towards & then acting so innocent. especially since he is thin & reserved. that automatically would make any male cop feel like a million bucks for defending him.

i cant believe my life turned into me talking myself down from hanging myself at the park across the street because a toxic mysoginist wont answer my calls.

yes i made a fucking attempt to look you up every new account i made because the alternative is that your friends are literally on my shit controlling the page returns & controlling what i do & do not have access to. that is scary as fuck. not to mention im the second autistic person that toxic ass dude has done this to, making his unchecked ableism just even more dangerous to the next person like me he unwittingly targets.

i hope he never recieves romantic satisfaction or feels loved ever again. may we suffer as one forever get him out of my head & let me feel my coffee high please

not to mention the worst part thus far is i'd put it down 99% on his friends, i mean i would fuck the everliving christ out of jon its NOT OKAY FOR HIS BULLSHIT VICTIMHOOD TO TAKE MY HORNY ASS & BENCH HER????? also israel mullinex? if that boy is controlling me ID LET IT HAPPEN THEYRE HOT AS FUCK??!??!?!?!?!?!?!? stop all this nonsense im hood rich i travel on public transport bc die hard leftist contributing to public transportation also fear of operating a vehicle with my chronic suicidality but im very attracted to these people & michaels feelings getting hurt (pretty sure he doesnt ever suffer) over me railing the fucking dogshit out of his bandmates is his problem not mine. its not okay. im mad about that the most. but i felt like i had to tell jon who i was. but that was kind of sexy tbh being denied even though i know how attracted we are to each other. id sit on him & wail i mean it. like maybe i just want access to his friends so bad bc they all fall under the category of "traumatised, suicidal, & hot musicians" & that happens to be the very one that makes me tweak my nipples & wipe my upper thigh of p*ssy juice. im disgusting im evil im full of lust & it shouldnt be reciprocated or held to a high standard.

i need to pray & cut myself so i can get the demon out but when i cut for the black blood it takes nearly all of my self control to keep from hitting major areas because i have to get the demon out cut it deep enough for the love to lead it out & the lust to make it leave anything to bleed

bleeding heart jesus chapter zoophile crazy girl let the lamb of god take me of my milk

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Thursday, November 16th

8:30am I have one more big assignment and two more small assignments. It feels impossible and I'm so tired. All I want to do is call my best friend but he won't answer. Just have to do this myself again. I'm extremely strong and resilient and I can't believe I made it to this point.

3:30pm I survived Verbal Defense! I did it! I am really proud of myself for everything I have survived this semester! It's raining really hard which is fucking up my vibe and shit but the rain will stop eventually! I'm like shaking from all the overflow of emotions. This semester took so much from me, out of me, really just beat me tf up. My life has been a trainwreck for so long. I just want peace. I just want to calm the persistent anxiety that's been propping me up for months. I just want to rest my mind. I'm literally shaking from the release of stress. Stress is so undeniable physical and just wrecks your body in so many ways. It's time to rest and heal. You've been through so much trauma the past few months and here you are, still alive, still strong. Don't ignore the trauma you experienced but it's time to heal and grow and begin another chapter, not ignoring the previous chapters, but building off of the lessons learned. We go on.

4pm Just remember that most people don't gaf what you do bro just don't hurt anyone and ur good. I just put fish sticks in the oven and popped open a mojito and I'm chilling until I change my mind and want to do something else.

4:20pm I feel like I can finally process what has happened to me. School put me in survival mode and now I'm free to heal. Yeah I'm crying when I should be feeling nothing but joy. I'm crying bc I didn't get the chance to when I was just trying to survive. I went through so much having my trust broken and my life ripped out from under me. I am traumatized but I'll heal. I know I will. This will pass and then I'll feel the joy of my success. It was all mine and all my hard work. I'm seriously proud of myself and I'll say it 1000x ❤️

4:40pm added image of my fish sticks bc it makes me happy that I'm feeding myself

5:00pm intrusive thoughts but wow I can't believe I didn't kll myself this semester I'm so proud :)

5:10pm I made green beans sauteed in the pan instead of the microwave 🥰 I love myself and I know I am worth so much and I know I can take care of myself when I'm not insanely stressed with school. I'll find myself again in no time ❤️ it's like a dark storm cloud has lifted from above my head

7:47pm I woke up from a nap and my stomach hurts lol I think I made the green beans too oily/buttery but it's ok! Haha. I need to clean out my fridge and get some me foods in here. I haven't gone grocery shopping in ages. Everything is probably freezer burnt tbh but that's ok! You were just trying your best ❤️

I have rented Silence of the Lambs and I think I will take a Tums and have some Sprite and some ice cream and rest some more ❤️

9:25pm ok so I had a finish an assignment that nobody wanted to do so I took one for the team and did it 💕 the Tums helped tremendously and now it's movie time :) I'm glad I don't feel like I'm about to shit myself anymore so that actually worked out 😂

9:49pm physical feelings/ sensations have such a profound impact on my mental status. Seeing something gross or feeling physical pain just send me into a spiral. I would like to know how to work on this more. I think the best thing to do for now is to focus on what I can control in my surroundings.

1am lol ok I ended up not watching the movie and that's ok! MasterChef marathon ftw. Got both my little boys laying on the couch with me ❤️

Woke up and I started thinking about being in a relationship and about him or whatever but I'm not really sad. I think I'm asexual or like really minimally sexual. Idk what it is but like I enjoy people for so much more than sex? Like I want to have a connection with you first and then that will follow. Idk how people just be out here jumping and dumping 😂 it's just a waste of time for me. Long story short, I'm not seeking out another relationship rn so it's hard for me to even feel sexual really. Maybe it's a trauma thing or a stress thing, I really don't know. I do know I can't be the only one who feels this way and that's ok ❤️

2am I think I have autism and yeah I mean I thought of it before but then it's like 🤷‍♀️ ok and? And yeah I just think it explains a lot of things about me. But it's like I don't know what to do with that information lol.

[binkszamsstuff]

Lion and the lamb

Warnings include: cussing, mention of sex, cheating, strip clubs, drinking,kissing mafia bucky being an butthole. Happy ending.

Mean!mafia bucky x sweet innocent fem reader

You walked through the dark club, women and men dancing on poles their bodies swaying with the sultry music as the purple light off the bulbs made them look mysterious. But that's not what you were here for. You were here to let him know he had fate in his hands.

You didnt belong here, no not in bit. Your light pink flowy dress that ended mid thigh and kitten heels was your version of going out clothes. At the back in the lounge there he sat with women and men flocking him left to right. His smirk was unnerving to you, he once made you feel light and while now he scared you. His choice scared you, he could laugh in your face but here you were.

You stood more to the side of him while he sat in the couch two ladies with long hair down to their bottoms sat next to him rubbing and kissing all over him. "U-um james?"

At that moment bucky barnes the notorious mafia boss almost flattered. You. It was you, once a upon a time you were his sweet girl, his love. But that was 2 years ago things had changed. The two of you happened fast, one night in a club like this he met you. Your friend had taken you out and when he saw your doe eyes look around the club of drunk and slutty people like it was a lions den he loved you.

James Buchanan barnes never thought of love. Never in his life he wanted marriage, kids a wife. But once he had you it all changed, he was head over heels for his little lamb. The two of you were together for three years and engaged, until one day james came home telling you to 'pack your shit and get the fuck out' you tried to ask him what was wrong and if you messed up somewhere. Tears streamed down your face, and you begged him to tell you.

"I dont want you anymore, your all dried up. I don't need you." Was all he said as he slammed the door in your face.

The girls on his side gave you a dirty look, "I'm sure you dont want me here but can we please talk?" You asked softly.

Bucky didnt think of you often. He never let himself dwell on what he had. The reason to why he shut you out was unknown to everyone except him. The men he worked with laughed and judged him for only having one woman, you.

His father even laughed and called him a pussy for trying to marry and be in love. He ignored it for a while until one night at Steve's birthday party at a strip club he made the worst mistake of his life. He cheated. The voices in his head made him to act. And the funny part is he didnt even plan on staying long only an hour or two and then come home to you. Kiss have some loving and soft sex that he treasured and go to bed all snuggled up with you. but of crouse once steve heard that the comments came rolling in.

So when he was driving home the anger pulsed through him. He couldn't believe he had cheated on the most perfect girl in the whole world. His lamb, his everything, his love so he blamed it on you. If you just hadn't gotten in his way he would never be here, if you hadn't made him love you he wouldn't look weak.

"You're right I dont want you here" he sneered at you.

"Please? Can we talk and after this I'll leave and we can put this away forever"

His eyes hung with saddness for a second until he was once stoic again. "Fine but hurry up I've got bitches to fuck" the girls beside him giggled. He is so cold now. You thought.

"C-can we go somewhere private maybe?" You asked nicely and again he scoffed.

"Listen I dont have time for your baby bullshit spit it out!" You flinched and nodded awkwardly ringing your fingers.

"Alright then, um so I'm engaged to this new guy and he's really sweet and all-"

"Why the fuck should i care!" He cut you off. In reality he did care and he felt the tugg on his heart that you wouldn't be his. Someone elses lamb.

"I'm telling you because even though you dont want me anymore I still really love you and I know if I dont tell you now before i marry him I'll regret it I love him too but it's just different. I know it's stupid but I thought maybe it was worth a try, I'm sorry for wasting your time."

You walked away from him crying, the girls beside him laughed the whole time you talked and he hated them now. It had been two years since the break up and you still loved him more then anything, you would do and give him anything he wanted. And if that meant not being with him you would do so but you also needed to move on in some way.

He watched you walk away wiping your tears. What did you do bucky, FUCK!? He thought to himself the one woman he ever loved just confused her love for him in front of rude ass people getting humiliated by him and them even after he broke your heart you still wanted him.

He got up "hey were are you going!?" The girls said "fuck off" he said before running after you.

When he got outside he he started to search frantically for you. "Y/n! Y/n baby come here!" He ran through the parking lot looking inbetween cars. Then he found you crying in your car, head resting on the wheel he now only noticed the big rock on your left ring finger.

Banging on the glass and accidentally scaring you. "Open the door!" He shouted so you could hear him through the glass you unlocked the door and not a second later he swung it open and bent pulling you into his arms.

"I'm so sorry y/n, I love you too I was such fucking fool to let you go. Lamb I'm so sorry please I'll do anything to get you back don't marry him." Bucky was now the one begging and one single tear fell from his eye. You caught it with your small finger whispering "dont cry" god your were so soft and sweet. He was rude and mean to you and yet here you are telling him not to cry while seconds ago you were sobbing because of him.

"I'm so sorry, y/n baby I love you"

"I love you too Jamie" he pulled you into a kiss that held every last drop of love in it.

And so the lion fell for the lamb....again.

[deaconusdelirium]

Giving Into Jacob Seed

———

A little something since I feel like shit, I literally went fishing for thirty minutes to clear my mind, and I haven’t updated anything for Far Cry 5 in so long.

This man is so fine, I wish there was an option to side with the Cult, but this is the best I have to offer.

Description: One night the Deputy reconsiders their option siding with the resistance, and then go to Jacob for help

———

This was it, wasn’t it? This fight, this.. war has been going on for almost a year and a half almost two and it’s been the worst. You’ve lost countless people, you’ve saved countless people, and at the end of the day, you’ve lost just as much as you’ve saved. And the resistance was getting nowhere, Virgil, Burke, Eli, so many people you’ve worked along side were gone, and it was your fault. Tammy and Wheaty began to have their suspicions about you not getting anything done, and when you tried to explain that you were tired and you were the only one getting things done around the Wolves Den, she would immediately tell you everyone was doing just as hard of work as you were, which ended in a fight.

Mary-Mae and Pastor Jerome were no longer welcoming as they were the first few days you began your job. You did everything they asked, you got The Widow Maker back, you saved many people from being baptized, what more could they want from one Rookie like you? Nick and Kim isolated themselves and they were moving soon, Grace wouldn’t leave her spot at the Lamb of God Church, it was like everyone was leaving you on purpose.

Don’t even get started on Faiths region, The Bliss was getting stronger and peoples water was getting poised with the stuff. Tracy was non-stop bickering in your ear for not getting the water treatment plant cleared out and cleaned, she began to think and look down on you, going as far as telling you to stay away from her until you started getting things done. Sharky was nowhere to be seen and so were the animals, Boomer wasn’t at Rae-Rae’s, Peaches hadn’t gone back to the Taxidermy and Cheeseburger wasn’t at F.A.N.G Center. How could something so good start to fade so fast?

Tears always formed, sometimes you’d cry your heart out and other times you’d tell yourself you were fine and everything was going to be ok, but it’d end up with you crying all over again. You missed everyone so much, you missed your family, just wanting to go back and stay there for the rest of your life and never ever leave again, but everywhere was blocked off by Peggies, or some resistance member would nag you saying that your work wasn’t done and you can’t leave yet.

The used to be sweet song ‘Only You’ played faintly in the quiet Montana night, it was pretty cold, but you deserved it. You deserved all the hate and pain you were going through, suddenly, you stopped. Looking down and seeing the pin Virgil gave you, maybe… maybe you were fighting for the wrong side. Maybe all this was suppose to happen, and just maybe your place was there with Joseph and the others. They’ve welcomed you so many times but it wasn’t you who declined, it was the resistance that told you to. Would they take you this time?

Jacob’s been getting closer and when it was suppose to be uncomfortable, it wasn’t. He felt trusting and like you were actually being looked after. His praise never fell upon deaf ears, you loved it, you craved it. It seemed like he was the one who believed in you.

Throwing the pin to the ground, you started down to the Veteran Centre, it wasn’t far, so you did it. You took the first steps to starting a new life and a new purpose after all, The Weak Have Their Purpose. Soon the large building came into view, the song slowed and soon Peggies surrounded you, telling you to stop. But all you did was lay your guns and knife down, telling them to point you in the direction of Jacob, confusion was written all over their faces and they just pointed. Somehow they weren’t so hostile anymore, it was like they were scared to hurt or say anything to you, so all they did was guide you. Before you knew it, you were standing in front of Jacob’s door, the man who helped you knocked a few times, and the door opened.

There he stood, intimidating as ever. Letting you walk in and stand in middle of the room, you’ve walked for so long your kneeled on your legs.

“Deputy” he whispered behind you, voice course yet soothing. You didn’t look at him directly in his eyes when he stood in front of you, instead you looked down in shame. You felt embarrassed, embarrassed that you chose the wrong side and it was leading no where. He walked back and forth, his boots echoing off the walls as his dog tags on his chain jingled. “Talk me to Angel” he coaxed, you’ve heard him say that before, and yet it still made you feel more at home that the resistance ever had. Taking a deep breath, you choked on your words, “I.. I-I was wrong” eyes screwed shut as your jaw tightened, trying to not let any tears fall, especially in front of him.

“Wrong for?” He wanted to hear those words you didn’t want to say, “I was wrong for not agreeing with Joseph, I was wrong for declining each and every offer you tried to give me. I’m wrong for, everything” you confessed, a quiet sob broke through your lips as a tear slipped down your face. The room was quiet and Jacob stood in front of you. You cried silently, suddenly, Jacob’s hand came to your cheek with a gentleness that made you jerk, his finger tracing along your jawline and stopping under your chin. “Oh Honey, you were only putting off the inevitable. Now look at you,” there you sat waiting, for anything encouraging, both your eyes locked as you tried to find something inside him.

“You’re so good” and there it was, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. A visible weight off your shoulders as he smiled down at you, “you’ll make a fine soldier. But an even better lover” he knew it, your feelings for him were so obvious to him. He knew how to get into anyone’s head, when you killed Eli he made you do it and he could do it again. He ruined you, and you wanted him to, even if it meant going against those who you trusted and loved so much. You were his Empire, his Babylon and he was going to make you break, no matter how long it would take he would just rebuild you until you were perfect.

[edenmemes]

cowboy bebop starters

❝ i can’t tell when you’re joking and when you’re not. ❞ ❝ you look ridiculous in that outfit. ❞ ❝ when we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light. ❞ ❝ go on, pull the trigger. ❞ ❝ guess you’ll have to chalk it up to bad luck. ❞ ❝ whatever happens, happens. ❞ ❝ how long were you there? i didn’t hear you come in. ❞ ❝ some promises are made to be broken. ❞ ❝ you've already caused me enough trouble. ❞ ❝ i’m fully aware of the danger. ❞ ❝ why do you do all of this? for money? some sort of revenge? or perhaps just for fun? ❞ ❝ the more you know, the shorter your life will be. ❞ ❝ let’s just say my past is catching up to me. ❞ ❝ go ahead and run. how far do you think you’ll get? ❞ ❝ i want to get out of this life. ❞ ❝ i’ll be with you. until the end. ❞ ❝ you’re lucky you got away with only this scratch on your arm. ❞ ❝ stick your neck out too far, and you’ll get it cut. ❞ ❝ i was starting to worry about you. ❞ ❝ i thought i’d say goodbye, since it’ll be the last i’ll be seeing you. ❞ ❝ you know the first rule of combat? shoot them before they shoot you. ❞ ❝ you’ve never told me anything about yourself. ❞ ❝ hey there, having a little trouble? ❞ ❝ do you have any idea what you look like? a ravenous beast. ❞ ❝ this is strictly business. ❞ ❝ are you pleading for your life? ❞ ❝ i love the kind of woman that can kick my ass. ❞ ❝ remember: a snake cannot eat a dragon. ❞ ❝ you came all the way here to see me? ❞ ❝ belonging is the very best thing there is. ❞ ❝ there was no place for me to return to. this was the only place i could go. ❞ ❝ they lead you like a lamb to slaughter. ❞ ❝ if we had met earlier in life, do you think that we would have been friends? ❞ ❝ i’m not a criminal. woah...that makes me sound more like a criminal, doesn’t it? ❞ ❝ you know what they say. easy come, easy go. ❞ ❝ no one can draw a clear line between sane and insane. you move that line as you see fit for yourself. ❞ ❝ don’t try to talk anymore. we’ll have a doctor in a few minutes. ❞ ❝ why do you have to go? ❞ ❝ i know who you are. i’ve heard about you. ❞ ❝ you should see yourself right now. ❞ ❝ so, you’re finally awake. ❞ ❝ either way, we were destined to end up like this. ❞ ❝ that threat doesn’t work on me anymore. ❞ ❝ a star just fell from the sky. ❞ ❝ we should’ve never taken such a risk. ❞ ❝ your heart is colder than any planet. ❞ ❝ of the days that i have lived, only those i spent with you felt real. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? lost your nerve? ❞ ❝ hello there, my friend, welcome to hell. ❞ ❝ how long were you in there listening? ❞ ❝ i have no fear of death. it just means dreaming in silence. ❞ ❝ you’re kidding yourself if you think every person is like you. they’re not. ❞ ❝ you told me once to forget the past, but you’re the one still tied to it. ❞ ❝ before i knew it, the dream was all over ❞ ❝ angels banished from heaven have no choice but to become devils. ❞ ❝ having ourselves a little nap, huh? ❞ ❝ time never stands still. ❞ ❝ you are a part of me that i had lost. ❞ ❝ you’re a good shot. ❞ ❝ let’s go somewhere. just the two of us. ❞ ❝ so, there is no place for me after all. ❞ ❝ there is nothing in this world to believe in. ❞ ❝ when this is over, i’m getting out of it. all of it. ❞ ❝ shit. this whole thing gives me a headache. ❞ ❝ the same blood runs through both of us. ❞ ❝ if there’s anyone who needs pity here, it’s you. ❞ ❝ why are you still alive? ❞ ❝ so, how about it? you’ll have a little drink, won’t you? ❞ ❝ once you let your teeth in something, you never let go of it. ❞ ❝ i’m not in a great mood right now, all right? ❞ ❝ what, you think you’re too good to talk to me? ❞ ❝ everything’s broken around this place. ❞ ❝ didn’t your grandmother ever tell you to finish what you start? ❞ ❝ i’ll meet you at the end of this world. ❞ ❝ you were always waiting for me. and that’s all i needed. you. ❞ ❝ what are you spacing out about? ❞ ❝ what are you going to do? throw away your life like it was nothing? ❞ ❝ i’m watching a dream i’ll never wake up from. ❞ ❝ i’m not the type to be led around. ❞ ❝ it’s so like you to worry about things. ❞ ❝ come on out. you can’t run anymore. ❞ ❝ don’t give me that art of war crap. ❞ ❝ you’re a strange one, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ this could be a trap. ❞ ❝ for some reason, i didn’t feel sad. it just didn’t seem real. ❞ ❝ if i tell you, i’d have to kill you. ❞ ❝ now, don’t get hotheaded. ❞ ❝ there’s something you’re looking for, isn’t there? something you need to find? ❞ ❝ if you wanna know something, let me see some cash. ❞ ❝ hey, i said i was sorry. ❞ ❝ i don’t know who you are and i don’t really give a damn. ❞ ❝ if you want to receive, you must first give. ❞ ❝ i had a little trouble, but it’s nothing i can’t handle. ❞ ❝ tell me what you’re doing here. ❞ ❝ we either deceive or are deceived. we flourish or perish. ❞ ❝ you don’t give up, do you? ❞ ❝ if you want to survive, you’ll have to betray me at times. ❞ ❝ i had no idea the view from up here would be so breathtaking. ❞ ❝ damn...all that work and no reward. ❞ ❝ don’t come back. there won’t be a place for you. ❞ ❝ i haven’t committed any crimes. well...at least not bad ones. ❞ ❝ doing things like this won’t bring you any good. ❞ ❝ what happened to your generosity? ❞ ❝ i’ve never had anything good happen to me when i trusted others. ❞ ❝ little by little, i felt something inside of me go numb. ❞ ❝ thank god i can finally relax. take a little breather. ❞ ❝ come on, hang in there, you hear me? ❞ ❝ do not fear death. death is always at our side. ❞ ❝ you’re in a good mood today. ❞ ❝ i don’t know why i’m telling you all this. i feel like i’m in a confession booth. ❞ ❝ you’ve never listened to anyone in your whole life. ❞ ❝ we’re supposed to be a team here, you know. ❞ ❝ you’re avoiding the subject and you know it. what are you trying to hide from me? ❞ ❝ to our new alliance, and perhaps even friendship. ❞ ❝ when something goes wrong, someone must take responsibility. ❞ ❝ what’s your problem? you wanna fight? ❞ ❝ don’t try anything. ❞ ❝ you’ve got a bit of mercy in you, haven’t you? ❞ ❝ i want to be strong like you. ❞ ❝ what’s all this? isn’t this a little risky? ❞ ❝ it’s no use playing innocent. ❞ ❝ you have something beautiful deep inside you. it’s hard for some people to tell, but it’s there. ❞ ❝ you’re trembling. ❞ ❝ how do you know so much about me? ❞ ❝ i’m okay. it takes more than to kill me. ❞ ❝ 'survival of the fittest’ is the law of nature. ❞ ❝ i want to live my own life, make my own decisions...even if they are terrible mistakes. ❞ ❝ hey, thanks a lot for the warm welcome. ❞ ❝ what makes you think you can do whatever the hell you like? ❞ ❝ you’re just walking trouble, so stay out of it. ❞ ❝ i said i don’t feel like doing this. ❞ ❝ you’re just afraid they’ll abandon you, so you abandon them. ❞ ❝ and you trust me just like that? ❞ ❝ i never did understand you, right to the very end. ❞ ❝ unfortunately, we quickly forget the lessons we learn, and then we have to learn them all over again. ❞ ❝ you’ll survive this. be strong. ❞ ❝ how many lies are you going to tell me before you’re done? ❞ ❝ remember: i will always be cheering you on. ❞ ❝ what do you get by running away? ❞ ❝ do people ever tell you that you’re the silent type? ❞ ❝ i get a strange feeling when i look in your eyes. ❞ ❝ this time, i hope you have sweet dreams. ❞ ❝ will you rescue me if someone goes wrong? ❞ ❝ do you want to know a secret about my past? ❞ ❝ even if you play by the rules, nothing gets solved. ❞ ❝ you’re gonna carry that weight. ❞ ❝ so, you were going to betray me? ❞ ❝ that arrogance of yours will be your ruin. ❞ ❝ you’re the only one i can turn to for help right now. ❞ ❝ i’m not the delicate cautious type. ❞ ❝ i...can’t come with you. ❞ ❝ my love for you burns strong. ❞ ❝ they say ghosts appear in places where they have regrets. ❞ ❝ in this world, people must cherish whatever ties they have. ❞ ❝ you’re the one person i could never forgive. ❞ ❝ serves you right. this is poetic justice. ❞ ❝ i’ve got no place to stay. ❞ ❝ we’ll leave here and get out of this. ❞ ❝ what makes you think that you know anything about me? ❞ ❝ i’m telling you this for your own good. if you’re smart, you’ll stay out of it. ❞ ❝ of course, i can see now how stupid i was. ❞ ❝ did you sleep well? ❞ ❝ keep dreaming. it’s never going to happen. ❞ ❝ sometimes it’s good not to ask ‘what’s in it for me?’ ❞ ❝ does it look like i’m joking around? ❞ ❝ all is fair in love and war. ❞ ❝ i’m just glad you’re safe. ❞ ❝ maybe this is the one i won’t come back from. ❞ ❝ it’s no use. there’s nothing we can do. ❞ ❝ what a smile. so sad...so beautiful. ❞ ❝ i know why you’re here. ❞ ❝ well, it looks like all my good karma is finally paying off. ❞  ❝ could you be a little quieter, please? ❞ ❝ if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity. ❞ ❝ i’ll take care of this. you can go back. ❞ ❝ this is the real world. this is no place for pretty ideals. ❞ ❝ i’m just watching a bad dream i never wake up from. ❞ ❝ for once, just stick to the plan. ❞ ❝ this is the first time i agree with you on something. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed, huh? ❞ ❝ maybe...or maybe that’s just part of the legend. ❞ ❝ if i get caught, nothing can save me. nothing. ❞

[spice-chan]

Legally Incapsulated

yandere!Bakugou Katsuki x darling!reader

In a different, dystopian world, yanderes are allowed to run rampant and they make up 15 percent of the population. It gets a little interesting when Bakugou, a protective yandere falls for you, a taken darling. 

warnings: dystopian society (ig?), yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, reader has a bit of an early stockholm syndrome kinda thing, blood and near death, captivity. 

also hi, i came back from the undead with an update. 

.........

Bakugou laid on the ground, bleeding profusely, cold and alone. The red liquid soaked through his clothes, painting him as an ugly manifestation of destruction and death. However, he did not welcome the latter yet, clinging to-hanging tooth and nail to the threads of life.

What cruel irony. To be dumped somewhere so public, yet at a time when no one would bother to come. To have the Hero hanging onto the hope that someone would visit the park at three in the fucking morning. 

A brutal fight between him and a particularly vicious villain ended in Katsuki suffering not only the humiliation of defeat but injuries that will do him in soon enough from blood loss. All alone, with no back-up, Katsuki suffered possibly the worst defeat of his life, for it might cost him that very same thing. Fucker attacked him after he finished his night shift too when no reporters or anyone would be around, knocking Katsuki out and dumping him in a public park just for the mockery of it. 

His head felt light and doozy, and he was starting to succumb to the feeling sucking him in when he heard a gasp amidst the fog. 

With what little stamina he has left, he turned around, sharp red eyes spotting a petite woman heading towards him. 

You quickly got to his spot beneath a tree, crouching down and inspecting him, your warm eyes becoming horrified at the blood pool. 

“Oh no, what happened here?! No matter. I’m going to call an ambulance. You’re going to be ok.” You reassured, or tried to, for the words coming out of your mouth could only be taken as self-assurance when one notices the dampness of your eyes. He tried to concentrate on what you were doing, but the next time he was aware of what was happening around him was when you clutched his hand tight with tears streaming down your cheeks.

“You’re gonna be ok.” 

He sure hopes he will be now. 

“What’s your name?” 

Despite the haze covering, his red eyes zeroed on you, calmly taking you in despite the battered state he was in. You froze. 

You stammered, heart hammering as you finally had another person's attention for once. It should’ve made you really ecstatic, but it just made you feel like you were naked on live TV. 

“It’s um-“ you nibbled on your lip as if unused to your name, Katsuki just got lost in the dainty, delicate sound of your voice. 

And when you said your name, as if testing foreign words on your tongue for the first time, he couldn’t help but think it suited you. 

So pretty. 

Honestly, if the sight of you is the only thing he’ll see before dying, he’ll be content. Your hand remained in hold his, your warmth travelling to his frigid hand and warming his very soul. 

But the sound of ambulance sirens broke him out of his trance, and you too, it seems. For you broke away from him in fright, he had to hold back from grabbing you and keeping you close. He would, had he not been injured. 

“Whe-where are you going?” He asked brokenly, desperate to keep the angel that saved him close. You shook your head, frightened and frantic. Looking at the time, and seemingly getting further and further. 

“I’m sorry-I—I’ve got to go. I’m gonna late, I’ll get punished if I’m late.” 

His heart sunk with every syllable you uttered, feeling a pain he had never felt before, something not tangible enough to be compared to injuries and not comprehensible enough for a man like Katsuki to express. 

You’re a darling. 

You’re someone’s darling.

By the time the ambulance rolled in and took him, you were long gone…

But not for long. 

……………...

Katsuki Bakugo: Yandere. 

Classification: Protective

Darling: Unregistered 

In a world where yanderes are allowed to go rampant with their love, an ordinary citizen doesn’t know when they’ll become trapped by a person who claims to ‘love them unconditionally’. Thus making them a darling. And from the moment that label is put on them, the law ceases to help them and they become entirely at their yandere's mercy. 

Yanderes are often separated into their schools and housed in their specified yandere classification ranging from obsessive, possessive and protective, and if a person overlaps two during their classification test they get reign into which house to go to. At UA, the houses are split between those three types and are equally split. 

Katsuki, who scored rather high in both protective and obsessive traits, chose to go with the protective unit where he met Kirishima, who’s currently blabbering on about nothing in Katsuki’s hospital room. 

“You barely made it man, I still can’t believe it. One can never be too careful these days.” He said, for the hundredth time. Katsuki was topless, the nurse having just finished bandaging his wounds. The stark white stood out against his chiseled, muscular front, it had every nurse swooning but he only had one thing on his mind. 

You. 

Where were you? Who were you? Did you really have a yandere? How can he take you away now? 

No, he doesn’t like you. He’s just curious. 

He’s survived this long without a darling. He doesn’t need one, contrary to popular societal belief. 

When babies are three, they undergo tests and scans to see whether they have OLD, obsessive love disorder, which is something about 15 percent of the population suffers from. 

They go to their own schools and such, but their identity as yanderes won’t be revealed to the general public, making it easy for yanderes to take their darlings by surprise when the grand reveal comes. 

Katsuki himself attended a yandere oriented hero school, but what the public doesn’t know is that the acceptance rate is so low because only yanderes are accepted. Yanderes rarely, but not never, go for other yanderes so it poses as less of a distraction. 

And so, the talented in the 15 percent of Japanese yandere are carefully picked and honed. 

And the separation only proves something. That darlings are a distraction. He won’t be like other wanderers, he’ll get a hold of himself. 

…………..

Y/N L/N: Darling

Under yandere of classification: Obsessive

Yandere name: Nagisa Mura

Katsuki ground his teeth, red orbs staring viciously at his computer screen. Hypothesizing and being faced with the fact that you do belong to someone else. The distraction, unneeded angel who fell from heaven just to save him. 

Poor you, he bets that piece of shit doesn’t treat you as good as he could. 

After looking further into you, he found several allegations of sexual assault made towards Mura that got completely dropped after he captured you. 

A flash of searing pain made Katsuki jerk back, narrowly missing scorching his screen to smithereens. 

He...he hurt you. The fucker hurt his angel, his princess...he hurt you, he hurt you, he hurt you. 

He thought of your pretty, kissable lips, making unsure, clumsy movements as you tried to vocalise your name. 

No, Katsuki has to have you. He needs to save you. It’s the only way for both of you to be happy at this point. 

And this, spurred on a thorough check at your yandere, and Katsuki delved so deep that when he found what he wanted, he couldn’t help but break out into a lopsided, sinister grin. 

………………

Nagisa burrowed his face in your neck, breathing in your scent while you sat still and rigid, not wanting to move away and risk his sanity flying away. 

“Did you enjoy it?” He asked softly, suddenly attentively look at you with his cat-like, loving, sick eyes. Your heart palpitated in fear for a second before you nodded. 

“Oh, where did you go? You...didn’t talk to anyone right?” Your heart erratically hammered, thinking that he might’ve somehow found out you did, and even told him your name. You shook your head at the speed of a sewing machine, then thought that might’ve perhaps been too aggressive to be convincing. 

“I didn’t. I walked to the park and came back home.” 

He sighed in satisfaction at that, moving his dark bangs back to stare at you with his green hues. 

“I knew night time was a better idea. There would be no one around at this time that you can’t deal with with pepper spray. Fewer people to talk to, fewer people who see you” he was smiling, not breaking eye contact once, and with each syllable, his soft voice seemed to get more sinister and sinister. 

You only nodded, pliant as a lamb in his grip as he twisted you however he wished. He buried his nose in your hair, inhaling the scent of you as if smelling a rare fragrant flower. 

“We’ve gotten so far since the days in the orphanage when you refused to share your dolls with me when we were five.” 

Memories. Something that should fill one with nostalgia, only filled you with an unbearable sense longing to a freer, more easy time. When you only had to worry about Nagisa bothering you during breakfast, lunchtime, movie time, sometimes worship time and wash time. 

Desperate for a sense of normalcy, you hugged him back, feeling icy cold in his embrace. 

“Nagi, what are we having for dinner?” A twinge of regret pierced you as you lowered your guard for a second. His hold became stiff, and he didn’t bother to swipe back his bangs as he flashed you a blank face. 

“You’re thinking about dinner while we hug?” 

But you knew how to deal with him better by now, deflecting his anger and turning it into something more malleable. 

“Oh no, it’s just that I feel a little dizzy. I don’t think I ate or drank well those past few days.” You paired the lie with a yawn for extra measure, and the ice of his face melted to reveal a familiar worried expression pouted lips and widened greeny eyes. 

He carefully put you down, bundling you in a blanket before he rushed to the kitchen to prepare you some food. 

The worry he harboured for your well being should’ve filled you with warmth, but instead, you were left twiddling your thumbs and rocking yourself back and forth, an unexplainable feeling of doom filled you. 

The feeling of a hand touching you caused you to spring out of your reverie in fright, but the sight of the green hues staring back at you only calmed you a fraction. He put the food in front of you, which he brought back with some vitamins because he can’t have you getting sick. 

“Thank you…” you murmured, feeling incredibly stupid and useless. 

He insisted he feed you and that you go to bed early. 

But as you laid in bed, thoughts of strange red irises and their bewitching beholder swarmed your thoughts along with the fatigue. You hope he’s alright… 

You wanted to check on him, but if you asked or even implied to Nagisa that you met someone, let alone a man albeit injured or not, that he will opt to not let you out for a year again, or possibly longer this time. 

Even in his injured form, there was something undeniably feral about him, as if ready to pounce any second and gamble his chances at life if the situation called for it. It frightened you. 

You shook your head, willing comfort to return to you through the soft duvet and sheets enveloping your body. You better sleep before Nagisa comes to bed and finds you awake…

…….

Finally, Bakugou has the best reason to get that fuck arrested. And you? Poor you, you’re going to have your yandere taken away, and you can’t *just* be let free. You didn’t earn it after all. Well, you would have, had there not being a perfectly suitable yandere for you to be rehomed with. 

Heh, to think of it, you might hate him a little for this...but he’ll show you that he can treat you better, in no time, you’ll be wrapped around his finger like he’s shamefully wrapped around yours. 

Bakugou’s thoughts come to an abrupt halt when the L-word is mentioned, not noticing when his thoughts spiralled to that degree. His deranged obsession with you had been planted the moment you saved him, but Katsuki didn’t notice when he lost the wheel of his rationality to his heart. 

Yeah, sure, he did background checks on you, felt a twinge of pain when he realised you grew up in an orphanage, felt a tornado of anger when he saw the assault charges that went nowhere after that obsessive fuck captured you. Yeah, ok, he felt proud when he saw that you were the valedictorian. But… where did the stone hearted Katsuki go? Where did the one who was afraid of getting close to anyone in case his true nature shows and distracts him from his dream go? 

But then, he remembered your glassy eyes, staring at him in worry that no one ever showed towards him before, fumbling with his phone to dial the ambulance while holding his hand. Telling him he’ll be ok. 

The moment Bakugo looked in the mirror, he knew he lost. 

His cheeks were flaming hot. 

Whatever, he better start preparing your room. 

…….

It felt like preparing the room of a newborn baby, Katsuki bought enough stuffed animals and plushies to make it resemble a fluffy asylum, along with pastel pink sheets. Your name was also put on the wall, with cursive pink letters that had butterflies surrounding them.

Not to forget a dresser filled with all kinds of things you could ever desire. But his favourite was filling the closet. 

Besides adding some of his own shirts, he stuffed it with all kinds of pretty dresser and cute clothes that he can’t wait to see you wear. 

Bakugo dusted his hands, taking a sigh and looking at the finished guestroom, previously a spare but now your own room, it looked as if a sparkly fairy vomited all over it. Hopefully you’ll like it… 

He wishes you were here to see it… 

An unfamiliar sense of isolation invaded his heart, perhaps it was the realisation that he just finished a room to a person who doesn’t even live with him *yet*, or knowing what he’s missing out on with you, but he knew he desperately wanted you here. 

He wanted to protect you from the bastard who has you in his clutches

…….. 

A day later

You sat on the sofa, munching on some popcorn while you sat on Nagisa’s lap, watching anime. 

A rough knock sounded out, the sound so aggressive is sounded as if the wood itself was gonna break under the aggressive force. Nagisa tensed up, he wasn’t expecting any guests, in fact, he rarely invites anyone over. He disassociated the both of you from any acquaintances from the orphanage, and you weren’t allowed to mingle with anyone. 

He saw your curious look, even without any verbal question, but he opted to simply kiss your forehead and put you on the sofa. 

He quickly went to answer the door, but not without grabbing a dagger and hiding it somewhere discreet. 

He turned the knob, feeling his chest tighten painfully, as if sensing a near, imminent loss. 

Three aggressive, toned cops welcomed his sight as soon as the door was open. They forced their way inside, cuffing him and telling him things, words that were spoken too fast and went over his head as the only thought that went through his head aas you. 

He turned around to where he left you, but you were suddenly standing besides one of the officers, not allowed near him. No…

“According to our database, you are a yandere who has a darling. This means that she will be permanently taken away from you and handed to an eligible yandere as part of your punishment.” 

He swallowed, his gaze, which always seemed morbid to you, now looked panicked and morose, gaze moving like a boomerang between you and the officers, as if not processing what’s happening. 

“Nagisa, what have you done?” He couldn’t answer you, he couldn’t speak a word. You were leaving him, and there’s nothing that he can do. 

“Eligible yandere? But as far as I know, there’s no one after her besides me.” The thought comforted him. Maybe he’ll recapture you after he serves whatever sentence he has, even though he’ll have to do it on the down low now. It’s illegal for a yandere who had their darling taken away to go after them again. 

“Well you thought wrong. Scum” 

Bakugou felt like the star of the show, coming in to rescue his damsel and finish his quest, with you as the prize. 

Your mouth was agape, the little hope that simmered in you that you might possibly be free is now crushed, confusion coming full force in place of it. His face was all too familiar, it was the face of the man you found on death's door only a few days ago. 

Nagisa’s face blanked, turning to you with bloody accusations in his eyes, which made your vision narrow to only focus on him, afraid to make eye contact yet afraid not to. You almost felt the bile rise up your stomach as goosebumps covered your entire body at his familiar, haunting stare. 

“(Y/n)...how does he know you?” 

“I-“ you swallowed, unable to answer. Who is he? 

The dots were starting to connect in Nagisa’s head, however, instead of his chilling rage, all you got was a sad, nostalgic smile. 

“Very well (y/n), it’s ok.” You couldn’t feel relieved from his ambiguous tone. Your very gut screaming at you that something was wrong. 

And your gut was right. 

“It’s ok, I know you didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I’m sure of it but I’m sorry because if I can’t have you then nobody can.” In the blink of an eye, Nagisa charged at you with a dagger, with speed you didn’t know he possessed, while you were frozen in place in fear. 

However, before he could reach you, the blond, brawny man moved like the wind, catching the hand that threatened you, firing an explosion at the wrist in a show of wrath, probably giving Nagisa third degree burns, then twisting his arms behind his back and pushing him harshly into the floor. The level of strength between them was visibly imbalanced to the blondes' favour, Nagisa was by no means fit or sturdy, not at all when compared to the wall of strength in front of you. 

The officers, novices who should have expected this turn of events by all means, have proven to be useless until the very end of this spectacle, thanking the blond the blond profusely while handcuffing the hysterical Nagisa, who was taken kicking and screaming by one of the officers while one stayed behind. 

“Miss (y/n), I believe? Sorry we couldn’t prevent this unsavoury turn of events, that criminal will be locked for good, you don’t have to worry about him.” The officer tried to reassure the frightened lady in front of him, disappointed that a yandere would try to kill the person he loves. That was one of the most prohibited laws, though what can he expect from a criminal? 

“You don’t have to worry about your safety though, as it turns out, you will be rehomed with Mr Dynamight. This will serve as both a punishment for the offending yandere and a way for darlings who haven’t earned their freedom to stay with their next eligible caretaker.” 

You nodded shily, overwhelmed by the influx of information directed at you. It didn’t help that you barely spoke to anyone besides Nagisa in years. 

The officer took your agreeableness in stride, scramming quickly as he physically felt the burn of Bakugou’s stare. 

Now it was just him and you. 

“You ok?” He managed to mutter, not sure how to start a conversation with you now that he had you. 

You nodded, not facing him. Are you ok? 

You felt the moisture gathering in your eyes, making your eyes seem like gleaming crystals. 

Of course you weren’t ok. 

You just had the person who, for years, claimed they loved you, stole you against your will and forced you to adapt to a lifestyle that suited them try to kill you. You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry but apparently your body did as it broke into a sob. 

Your shoulders shook in failing effort to try to hide yourself from him-Mr Dynamight or something, but he felt his heart clench when he heard you sniffle. 

You heard him kiss his teeth, and you had a half mind to apologise, having unfond memories of the sound, but he instead, to your surprise, brought his beefy arms around you and embraced you warmly. 

Your crying halted, head turning up to fave him with a ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look in your eyes, making him blush and turn away from you with another kiss of his teeth. 

“Stop crying.” 

Why did his simple gesture stop your tears? Why are you not trying to make a run for it? 

Most importantly, why do you feel something warm blooming in your chest instead of hate? 

You looked at him, trying to channel all the hate you harbored for Nagisa for this newfound captor of yours, but all you could think about is when he saved you from Nagisa’s sharp blade— how strong and capable he was, really, shouldn’t you be thankful? 

At that moment, you experienced something that never happened to you in your years of being with Nagisa. 

You blushed. 

……

 You stepped through Bakugou’s house, already having an idea of what kind of lavish place it is from the exterior, but you were nevertheless impressed. 

The place is something out of a movie, extremely different to the small and cozy apartment you lived in. Everything seemed up to date and costly. 

You didn’t notice Bakugou preening in pride at the impressed look on your face. He tried to appear nonchalant, but he was seconds away from grabbing your hand in excitement as he tours you around the place. 

Still, he wanted some form of contact with you, so he opted to put a hand behind your back, excusing it as you being too slow when you turned to him with a quizzical look. 

His hand felt warm on your back. 

“This is the bathroom nearest to your room, but there’s one in your room as well.” 

Your room. It felt strangely delighting to have something be your own, when previously everything was ours with Nagisa. Everything was happening so quickly, you didn’t know whether you should try to pause to catch your breath or pick up your pace. 

“And uh, this is your room.” This time you did notice Bakugou’s redness, it was quite hard not to when his entire face was red. Of course it would be. 

The room looked like it was something out of a barbie house. Soft, pastel rugs paired with baby pink curtains. Plush, stuffed dolls littered the place, some small and some big enough to engulf you. You slowly stepped inside, unsure how to feel about this interior, until you felt your bed. It was also a gentle pink, but the catch was how featherlight soft it was, it felt silky, and the mattress reminded you of when you’d dream of sleeping on a cloud. 

“Like it?” He asked, not taking his eyes off your blessed face. That’s the first he’s seen this expression on you. He feels almost cheated, like he would have seen way more of you and learnt way more than he already knows if that piece of shit let you out. 

You hummed to him in response. 

“Good, ‘cuz it’s your nap time now.” 

“Huh?” You straightened your back, looking at him in protest. 

“But, I still have things to ask you! Plus, I don’t need a freaking nap-“ 

“Sleep now, questions later.” 

The sun was starting to dip, giving the room a warm, orange glow which did make you feel somewhat lethargic. Bakugou closed the curtains, and shut the door, but surprisingly didn’t leave your room. He pulled the covers back, gesturing for you to slip under. You were afraid for a moment that he was gonna slither his way inside as well, uninvited. But he merely sat besides your supine form. 

“Um-?” 

“I’m gonna stay here ‘till you fall asleep.” You nodded mutely, not finding a point to objecting anymore. You never have a say anyways. But, this wasn’t so bad. He put his large hand on your head, caressing it and admiring its texture, and how amazing it feels beneath his fingers. You felt his touch to be invasive at first. Who does he think he is, touching you when you don’t even know him?

But you don’t speak. You instead relax and let the stress you built up melt away, and you welcome sleep. 

…..

Your eyes slowly fluttered open to the feeling of someone lately shaking you. You were disoriented, glancing around the fluffy place in confusion, your eyes looking adorably lost and confused. 

“C’mon dumbass. It’s time for dinner.” 

Oh, right, you were living with him now. 

“I put the clothes you’re gonna wear on your bed, and here are your slippers.” You glanced on the bed, seeing a comfy looking white, silky pyjama dress slippers at the foot of your bed. 

“Ok.” You nodded, “I got it.” 

He gave you one final final intense look leaving your bedroom. 

…….

In the dining room, Bakugou had already set everything up. He made your favourite food, lit up some candles and sat down, anxious glancing at the door and waiting for you to appear. Will you like it? Will you ask him questions? Do you enjoy living with him so far? 

If the answer to some of those questions is no, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. He does know that you aren’t going anywhere though. 

You quietly walked in, feeling the tension increase with each step you took. 

You spied the contents on the table, salivating at the smell of your favourite food like a starved ogre, not even bothering to grimace at the memory of Nagisa’s poor attempt at making it. 

Bakugou was salivating as well, but for different reasons. He couldn’t look away from your exposed skin, staring creepily as if he’s never seen a leg before. 

The meal was consumed with awkwardness, neither party breaking the ice. You were afraid of confrontation, of asking too many questions and receiving nothing but anger and resentment in return. He seems so much nicer than Nagisa, you didn’t want him to hate you. 

The silence reigned, and the dishes were cleared away and being washed by Bakugou, who insisted you stay near him but also insisted you stay unoccupied. 

Every moment that passed felt like a moment lost, and you kept summoning your courage, but the words just wouldn’t leave your mouth. Maybe you should build up to what you really wanted to ask instead of jumping straight to it. 

You saw his red eyes sneakily glancing at you, rapidly leaving your form when you noticed him, causing his ears and face to flush. 

“So um, what do you do?” he quirked an eyebrow, looking at you strangely while his movements didn’t pause. 

“You-you don’t know?!” he exploded, looking at you in disbelief. You just shook your head like a deer caught in headlights. 

Oh, that shit must’ve not let you watch TV much. 

“I’m a pro hero.” 

Your eyes widened in wonder, the decadence of the place suddenly making sense. 

“Cool! What’s your quirk?” he ditched the dishes, excitedly showing you his quirk and explaining how it works, delighted at your cute smile and interest in him. The air felt charged and lively, and maybe that’s what led you to ask the questions that have being nagging at you. 

“So um, how did you-uh, how did you even find out anything about me?” 

Your heart dropped when you saw the excitement on his face disappear, his usual scowl in place of it. 

“You told me your name, that’s all I needed to know. I never stopped thinking about you ever since I saw you, I tried but I couldn’t. If even someone as strong as me can end up on death's door, then what would happen to you? I couldn’t just leave you.” At this point, he was caressing your face, looking at you with love stricken eyes. You were reminded of who you were talking to, you were talking to a Protective yandere, who took you. 

You didn’t have to ask anything else really, pandora’s box opened, and everything you weren’t previously privy to is now made obvious to you. 

“It sickened me though, knowing you actually fucking belonged to someone else. So how could I leave you? I had to save you like you saved me.” he had both of his huge hands on your face, looking at you with pure insanity, love, adoration and bloodthirst swirling and mixing in his irises. He was a yandere, he was the person every ordinary person should fear, he has you in his clutches, you should be trying to escape and regain your freedom, you saw first hand how easily capable of hurting you he could be if he wanted… So why weren’t you scared?

[kkusuka]

CONGRATULATIONS FOR 3K!!!! i am really happy for you! i love your writing and i believe you deserve each of your followers.

please, headcanons for jujutsu kaisen! i'd like king of curses sukuna, where he marries the reader, which is a princess from another continent to expand his territories (we all know that if sukuna wants territories he would just take them by force, he is the king after all, but that's just a detail) — unaware that he would find a tough woman, who does not like the idea of ​​marriage and hates him. it would be funny to have some dynamics queen x king. like hate sex; an important dinner with the court and they start throwing food at each other; the reader doesn't like the idea of concubines and send them away; how would he react? how did they fall in love? you don't have to write about everything i said, choose tree of them by the rules, but just seeing this idea here would be incredible! oh, and she/her pronouns please. thank you so much!!!

<3

a/n:  I……….. love this. I really hope I did the ask justice!

Well firstly, he probably takes a wife because he needs someone to clean the temple, and he’s sick of the town’s sacrifices. And what better for him than taking more land! That’s where you come in, lovely princess Y/n of the northern continent!

He was sure you would be some frail, shy little lamb that would do anything he says. Like a little maid for him to order around.

So his first opinion of you was that you were going to be a bore. And, in his defense, you gave him no reason to think otherwise. The first day you were there, you didn’t say a single word… to anyone. Not even a maid. So he really thought he would just kill you and tell everyone that you went missing.

He tried, on the sending night in the mansion he invited you to a diner with him. (aw, your first dinner as a married couple!) well- that’s if you had bothered to show up. For an hour, 12 minutes, and 17 seconds he waited for you to arrive in the dining hall. He was just fed up. How dare you? Did you know who he was? What he could do in a split second?

He was at your room door within seconds--- since you both refused to sleep in the same room-- and you opened the door like you hadn’t done a thing.

“Where the fuck were you?” -- he was already barging his way into your room, you calmly closed the door and waltzed back to your couch. Where he assumed you had spent your time before he came. “When I invitee you to dinner, you will be there”

“And if I don't want to?”

“Excuse me?” He was shocked. Angered. Deadly. Turned on? He really didn’t know but he was truly infuriated you even spoke back to him, never mind questioned his authority.

“I said,” you sighed. sling over the arm of the couch, tilting your head to the Demon before you, “what if I don't want to? I had no intention to entertain you over dinner this evening, nor do I any other time. So if you are here to berate me or spout about your authority, I suggest you take your leave.”

Spoiler alert (not really, just the expression) - you guys fucked until the sun came up, all over the same couch.

Somehow this became a common occurrence. Him doing something o annoy you, you doing something back, then taking your anger out on the other in a night full of moans and the sound of skin slapping.

And you held your word too, you didn’t show up to anything. But you did start sending people to tell him you wouldn’t be coming and repeatedly told him how disgusting you thought he was and how you hated him. Eventually, he was just fed up, he didn’t care what you thought of him and if you were only going to fuck him when you were angry, he would just firn another lady to fuck.

And, lord knows you hate him, but you were fucking married. And if you really hated one thing, it was infidelity. Your father had multiple concubines and you saw what it did to your mother and you would be damned if you let the same happen to you.

“Who the fuck is this, Sukuna?’ you were livid. The bastard looked so proud of himself, having some random commoner on his lap.

“This is Yui. I plan to make her a concubine this coming Sunday.” in all honesty, you should have expected this. A true heartless monster he was. You knew all about his womanizing way and how many women he went through, and you couldn’t exactly say he couldn’t have a concubine.

You really were stuck between a rock and a hard place. Reminded of your mother, you take the action you wish she did, “Fine, but if I see her- in any sense- I will have her head.”  his laugh echoed down the hallway until you reached your wing.

And true to your word, only two months later, she was seated in your seat at the dinner table. Unfortunately for her she never got to see the rest of the meal- a new lesson was learned, your warnings were not to be ignored.

Now, there was one event, not even you could evade; the monthly council dinner party. The most annoying party either of you had ever been to.

It was boring and was clearly just a hoax for nobles to get in your good graces. But, somehow, you both bonded over how much you hated it. You spent the whole time making fun of people’s outfits and how fancy all the food was- small portions really are the worst.

“Who let her walk out of the house like that?” you laughed into your wine glass. Sukuna doing the same, eyes darting to a woman fake laughing somewhere in the corner of the room. Clad in all brown the woman was an eyesore at best.

“The same person who allowed Dutchess Haruknuka out in that hat.”

You guys really just spent the night fooling around and talking shit. It was also the time you started playing games with him, predicting who would finish their food first, seeing who could catch more cheese cubes in their mouth, how much wine you could down in one go.

You still held a strong resentment against him, but he was becoming more and more tolerable.

So, falling in love wasn’t really falling. It was more like a crash through a glass store window into a china shop.

It didn’t happen often, but the mansion gets attacked by some “heroic” people trying to save the people from the demon king.

But this was the first time they had directly attacked your wing of the mansion. It was late before he heard a word about the attack, rushing over to protect his queen- when he began to call you that he didn’t know. The sight that greeted him was you fighting off grown men- covered I their blood, with barely a scratch, though he knew you beginning to be fatigued.

Just as you struck another man down, you let your guard down and was open to a blow to the back of your head, if he hadn’t stepped in the shielded you with his own body- the man falling dead at your feet.

Something in your eyes told him that protecting you with his life would become a pretty common occurrence.

A tiny little headcanon bonus:

Your first baby was a son and when he first learned to walk Sukuna would push him down every time he stood up near him and the only way you could get him to stop was by throwing baby toys at him.

tags: @diamond-3 @rinsangel @heyheyitsne @angelalje @monisi @crystal-lilac