#? like i havent really gotten very far? its still beautiful and theres a lot to love but uhm. hm.

[krillkisser]

oh man i have not played sky since the beginning of little prince. i just went on a suuper long break and hm. well ive missed a few new features,

[glitchdollmemoria]

relationship pda ramble thing

im coming up on the five month anniversary of dating my partner (not to mention the couple months we knew each other before dating), and im getting all excited about them possibly hopefully being able to visit this summer after they finish up with finals, and as im thinking about this im also realizing that i have so much more trust in them than ive had in anyone else. for about half our relationship, they havent been able to talk often because theyve been putting a lot of energy into studying. at first this made me anxious, but over time ive seen them repeatedly come check in with me when they can. especially when i think back to their behavior before they got caught up in studying for finals, the way they were able to show their trustworthiness esp compared to past partners, the affection theyve shown me, the fact that our life/relationship goals line up so well, and the fact that they keep messaging me when theyre able... theres a part of me that gets anxious and paranoid, but that part of me keeps shrinking.

the more i think about these things, the more i realize that im worrying less and less about the possibility of him being dishonest. which - its not that i have reason to think hes untrustworthy, i just have mega bpd. but things make sense in my brain for once. hes told me before that he struggles with school environments, so of course he needs to spend months focusing on studying. hes proud of the career hes pursuing, so of course hes going to work hard for it. he was the one to bring up the idea of me being a house spouse instead of working, so now that he knows i agree with that plan, i wonder if - and even kind of hope - pursuing that future together is part of his motivation.

plus, as far as ive gotten to know her, shes a very confident person who doesnt seem to keep people around out of pity. once, she made a joke about breaking up and i thought for a second she was serious, and she told me she loves me too much to break up with me, and that if she were to break things off it would be over a call. so, it makes more sense that she really is just busy rather than ignoring me, especially when like i said she does still reach out when she can and she wouldnt need to do that if she was trying to ghost me or something.

this is all just word soup. i have a lot of thoughts right now and not much brainpower to articulate them cleanly. mostly, im just excited that i have such a sense of security in this relationship, because i really do want to believe this will be a lifelong partnership and i dont have any real reason to suspect it wont be, as long as we both keep putting in the work. every time my girlfriend apologizes for being away so much, i want to just gently grab it by the shoulders and tell it how much i really truly adore its work ethic and that im willing to wait as long as it takes if it means we can someday reach the life weve talked about wanting to build together.

sometimes i think about the dream i had a while back, being escorted by angels to a beautiful towering library, and how thats sort of incorporated itself into my religious views even if im not sure what it all means. and the fact that once, during a call, she told me that even though she doesnt believe in any particular religion, her ideal afterlife would be a library full of truth. i think, if anything, its all at least a sign that this is whats right for us both right now. she doesnt know about that dream i had. its all coincidence. but it seems too coincidental to not mean anything. maybe we just have similar ideals. maybe its a sign that were meant to be together, at least for the time being. i dont know for sure. but everything feels right. and im so happy that i can look back on the way past partners have treated me, and i can look at the way my current partner treats me, and i can see such a difference in that treatment, and i can feel so much more secure than i have in the past. it makes me grateful in a way for the suffering ive experienced. if nothing else, it serves to make the difference in treatment obvious. im just glad about all of this, grateful to feel secure finally.

[dateamonster]

Not monster nor unpopular opinion related, but do you have any horror media recommendations about perfectionism being evil? You know, typical "this area thats supposed to make you perfect is actually torturous to 'fix' you".

oo this is a good subject lemme think

one of my alltime fav twilight zone episodes "number 12 looks just like you" works with this concept in a way that still gives me the creeps to this day. its truly the episode that keeps on giving because in a surface sense its a dystopia based on plastic surgery and the beauty industry, but the more you pay attention to the subtle worldbuilding the more you notice messages about eugenics, fascism, propaganda/information control, (presumably) classist hierarchy, and the use of drugs to control populations. its got a lot goin for it.

speaking of plastic surgery and the beauty industry! i know "uglies" was probably on half of you guyses summer reading lists at one point anyway but if you havent and you like ya dystopia but wish it wasnt all Like That, check it out. i only read the first book and it was a long time ago so this is more a recommendation of a recommendation since i have a friend who still vouches for the series, and i personally still have a huge fondness for the author scott westerfeld. the concept of the uglies series imo is like, what a lot of writers in the modern dystopia-fiction boom wish they were writing.

this is like absolutely not what you asked for except for in the loosest most conceptual sense but im begging someone out there to read "the island of dr moreau". it fucked me up a bit and i want it to fuck you up too. im twisted and evil like that. but like in a cute way.

another one i feel like yall probably already know is "the perfection". its a netflix horror film that got big for a hot minute but not as big as it shouldve gotten because this movie made me craaazy. i actually stopped watching like a third of the way in the first time i attempted this movie because i was so freaked out in such a highly specific way and baby it literally only got worse from there. but in a good way. how do you recommend horror movies without sounding like a maniac? anyway, please please seek out the content warnings if youre going to watch this.

(i mean check the content warnings for most of these, and for any horror stuff you seek out, bc its a good practice to get into if you know theres stuff that messes you up. i dont but thats because im a stupid idiot who only remembers that my brain is delicate halfway through the film.)

"spiral" (2019) is a pretty decent movie about the crushing homogeneity of suburbia and how it figuratively and literally steals the lives of marginalized people who dont fit the mold. its not one of my favs (mostly for just like taste reasons) but if that sounds interesting to you you might like it.

similarly, "darlin'" is another movie with a really cool concept whos execution gives me mixed feelings, but i still think is worth a watch. its about a feral teenager who is discovered at a hospital and taken into the care of the local church, which seeks to civilize her in order to turn her into an example of the purifying power of christ

oh and duh how did i not think of this earlier but the book "the stepford wives" is a classic and the 1975 film adaptation is pretty good too. i dont rly recommend the 2004 remake. its not horrible but its far more comedy leaning and kind of undermines its own premise with the ending.

once again sorta loosely related but "the silenced" is a rly good korean horror movie about two girls living in a strict boarding school during the japanese occupation, and what happens when their classmates start to mysteriously disappear. theres not much more i can say without spoiling.

ghjkl anyway these are all i can think of rn. theres honestly probably more. this is a subject im very interested in as you can probably tell so like. yea!

[zerochanges]

Valentine’s Chocolates and Glass Masks

The romance genre in anime is a little weird, and honestly on the whole the majority of the genre in anime is probably a bit too slow for its own good. “Will they or won’t they” is something most romantic fiction is guilty of, but I think you’d be hard press to come across 150 episode TV series dedicated solely to that premise anywhere else. And this has nothing on the pure silliness that can come with the genre; hand holding, indirect kisses, masked secret admirers, all that good stuff. Really, I’m not here to trash talk romantic anime though, but as I sat down and tried to think about writing a Valentine's Day blog post I just couldn't help but think to myself how romance anime might be the hardest to explain to anyone not in the fandom. I mean, I think I’d have an easier time explaining the plot of any given saga in DBZ than I would explaining “Notice me, senpai” to somebody.

You know what though, I kind of ironically enjoy all of this. Yeah, pure romance anime can be cheesy, but it’s just the right amount cheese that it’s like, c’mon, how can you not enjoy this? Perhaps the worst (or best!) offender of this are older shoujo titles where they can seem almost downright like a soap opera at times. Shows like these are just so full of bizarre, off-the-walls, and over-the-top melodrama that they manage to suck me completely in. They’re heartbreaking, they’re engaging, and the times when they fail at being those things they are hilarious. 

My most recent experience with an older shoujo title like this would have to be studio Eiken’s 1984 adaptation of Glass Mask. Now Glass Mask (or Glass no Kamen as it is known by some) is a manga that started life in 1976 and to this day has yet to be finished, with the manga creator Suzue Miuchi stating she would like to finish it soon, but hasn't quite figured out when that will be (move over Hunter x Hunter fans). Having been one of the earlier shoujo titles starting back in the mid-70’s the series is full to the brim with pretty much every cliche and trope you can think of for shoujo anime, and to a modern audience it can often be almost hilarious at times to sit through. It is important to remember that for its time Glass Mask was a trend-setter and arguably if not the creator than certainly the reason why a lot of these cliches became cliches in the first place. Over the years Glass Mask has received its fair share of adaptations and even parodies, and currently has 3 different animes as well as a live action drama series and real life stage plays based on it. I heard the most recent anime, the 2005 TMS adaptation of Glass Mask, does a pretty great job at modernizing several aspects of the series, but unfortunately I have yet to watch that to weigh in so all I can say is that I was inundated with more cliches than I could count and laughed a ton while watching the 1984 series and I loved every minute of it. 

Glass Mask is the story of a young 13 year old girl Maya Kitajima, who has a dream to be a great theatre actress. Unfortunately for Maya she’s from a very poor family, and even more unfortunately for her, she is incredibly average looking with no flair--and don’t worry, the anime will remind you of that fact countless times every episode. Despite her damnable curse of “just looking kind of average” Maya will stop at nothing to pursue her dream and eventually runs away from home after getting a scholarship for an acting school. There, the enigmatic Chigusa Tsukikage notices Maya’s talents and takes her on as her protege. Soon, Maya learns that her mentor Tsukikage was once a legendary actress thought to be truly one of the all time greats who due to a tragic Phantom of the Opera style accident had her face hideously scarred and retreated out of the spotlight. 

Tsukikage is looking to pass on her talents to the future generation and eventually pass on her greatest possession, the rights to the elusive Crimson Goddess play--a supposed legendary masterpiece that has not been seen by anyone in decades; not since Tsukikage’s career ruining accident. For some reason the director and creator of the the Crimson Goddess play saw it fit to beseech all the rights to his masterpiece to Tsukikage and thus nobody else has been able to produce this elusive phantom play since. It won’t be easy for Maya and the Tsukikage acting school, as media conglomerate and mega corporation Daito Entertainment will stop at nothing to get the rights to the Crimson Goddess, and isn't afraid to sabotage them at every step of the way. Perhaps Maya’s greatest rival however is the young Ayumi Himekawa, the daughter of an already famous actress who is said to be the favorite to inherit the Crimson Goddess role, and is everything Maya isn't; beautiful, rich, famous and well loved by all, and while not a student of Tsukikage she is more than willing to pass on the rights to Himekawa if Maya fails to prove herself.

It’s easy to already see the cheesiness just from me trying my best to summarize the basic plot, and we haven’t even gotten into the romances yet. Maya’s relationship with the young Yu Sakurakoji is fairly simple at first, as he helped rescue her from a feral dog and despite being in rival acting schools--one affiliated under Daito no less, he’s a pretty chill guy that enjoys spending time with her and doesn't care about all that stuff. It’s only after Maya starts to take off in her career that Sakurakoji starts to spiral into this insane inferiority complex centered around her, where he thinks she has become too good an actress for him to be around anymore and starts to give her the cold shoulder all because of his own make-believe shortcomings. It’s very odd and sudden, and the entire thing is blown out of proportions as Maya clearly does not think that and Sakurakoji eventually has to be lectured by bad boy Masumi of all people to come around and start spending time with Maya again. Even after this however it isn't like the old days anymore and the gap that was created from his own complex still lingers.

And oh boy, don’t get me started on Masumi, he’s quite the character. Masumi Hayami is the 24 year old son of the president of Daito Entertainment and is currently running the corporation in his father’s stead. Masumi serves as both an antagonist and love interest (because of course he can be both) in the early parts of the story and is often behind some (but not all) the sabotage done to Tsukikage’s acting school. Masumi will eventually take a more reasonable approach when it comes to trying to yank the rights of the Crimson Goddess away from Tsukikage’s hands as the anime progresses, often just by having his acting school beating Tsukikage’s students in contest and the like, and it’s here where we usually see Masumi’s employees that work under him being the more underhanded characters instead of Masumi directly engaging in the conflict.

Despite being on different sides, so to speak, Masumi catches one of Maya’s earliest performances, her role as Beth in Little Women, and falls in love with the young girl, impressed by both her potential as an actress and her fortitude for going on with the show despite suffering from a dangerously high fever and immediately being rushed to the doctors after the curtains fall. From this point on her takes the role of “Mr Purple Rose” named for the bouquet of purple roses he sends to her at every show. As her secret admirer and the first fan Maya has ever had he means a lot to her yet as his true identity of Masumi he’s an enemy that Maya cannot stand to breathe the same air as. So in short, Masumi is just your average 24 year old CEO of a mega corporation crushing on a 13 year old girl from a small acting school he is trying to ruin and also her secret admirer. Somehow Masumi is one of the best characters in the series, and is my best boy. Only in shoujo!

So far I've been having some cheap laughs at the expense of the 1984 Glass Mask anime but it’s not all like this. The over-the-top bombardment of old school shoujo cliches and the laughs I got from them may be one of the most memorable component of my viewing but there’s actually a lot more to this anime than that. When you get beyond the silly age gap romances and the flowery melodrama of young teenage love, Glass Mask is a story of artists trying to pursue their passions and dedicating their everything to them. Maya may be cursed to forever be “only average looking” but I really respect her drive to dedicate her entire life to theatre. 

Well, that is to say, the times when she isn't acting like punching bag to the rest of the cast (Glass Mask has a tendency to make Maya into a Cinderella surrounded by tons of wicked stepsisters). When Maya is written not as a Cinderella she’s fiercely determined, and never backs down despite some straight-up abusive behavior she is put through. At times her mentor Tsukikage is absolutely savage, regularly beating Maya and putting her through some training that is definitely highly illegal, at least for today’s standards. For instance she once threw Maya in a shed and locked the door refusing to let her out until she finally understood her character she was assigned. Did I mention it was in the middle of the freezing cold winter and snowing out and Maya only had the clothes on her back for warmth? She was out there for days with no food, water, or even warmth. But don’t worry, she had her script to read and that made it all okay. Like goddamn, somebody call child protective services on this lady.

Speaking about “the art” and everyone’s passions, the more you watch the series the more it becomes obvious that the creator, Suzue Miuchi, really cares for theatre and isn't just using it as a vehicle to propel her own story. There are countless renditions of classic plays shown in Glass Mask, such as the mentioned already Little Women, The Miracle Worker, and Wuthering Heights, just to name a few. Some of these plays are presented without any changes while others may have reinterpretations made to them by the characters who are trying to give their roles a life of their own away from the original source material. Miuchi very much understands theatre and does a great job converting many famous plays into a more compressed and easily digestible form of entertainment that can be viewed on a week by week bases. The analysis characters give about the plays and other characters’ performances, the ways characters interpret their parts, and how the plays that we are privy to see in the series end up all show a deeper understanding of the medium. Watching Glass Mask is almost like taking a beginning course in theatre that covers all the classics, only with way more melodrama and over-the-top romance than you will find in your local theatre group. I hope.

What’s the most impressive however goes beyond just Miuchi’s renditions of other classic works and instead are her own plays that she creates herself. As not only does Glass Mask use pre-existing plays it also has its own original productions that will spring up in-between the real world plays. A lot of these self created plays are very enjoyable too, and some feel way more fleshed out than they have any right to be and you often find yourself regretting that you are only privy to a small part of the performance and not able to just sit there and watch the entire play like the characters in the anime do. Maybe that’s why it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that some of the plays Miuchi has created for her manga have later been adapted into real life plays in Japanese theatres. This is probably the greatest testament to the series’ popularity right there, where its own fictional works are turned real. I can’t think of many examples of something like that happening before.

I’d be remiss not to mention the visual aspect of this series before wrapping up my thoughts on it too. While certainly no powerhouse in animation, Glass Mask 1984 goes for a more picturesque route, and does a great job with tons of beautiful still shots and intricately detailed background images. It’s a humble production but with the right use of lighting a lot of scenes can really shine (pardon the terrible pun it was an accident), especially the night shots which can be pure art. Hang it in a museum, I say. I’m almost surprised we don’t see more “aesthetic” anime blogs mining images from this series. Veteran director Gisaburo Sugii (Dororo, Touch, Osamu Tezuka’s Phoenix) leads the production with skilled marksmanship you would expect from his previous (and future) pedigree, and along with legendary animator the late Shingo Araki (Ashita no Joe, Galaxy Express 999, Saint Seiya) the series has a wonderful 80’s flair to it that just fills any retro anime fan full of nostalgia whether or not they have seen the show before.

Studio Eiken’s 1984 Glass Mask adaptation is a short, briskly paced 22 episode series that is easy on the eyes and not hard at all to still sit through for modern audiences. It’s full of tons of laughs (both ironic and sincere) as well as tons of melodrama and over-the-top romance. Most importantly though, it’s a full of passion; lots and lots of passion. During its short episode count the series watches Maya progress as an actress and grow older, with her finishing middle school and beginning high school while also balancing full time acting jobs on the side. The ending is left open--and let’s face it the manga hasn't even ended some 35 years later still--but there’s enough forward momentum in the series to really feel like your time with the characters wasn't wasted and that they were able to accomplish something--not to mention the ending spot is a pretty decent one leaving the viewer wanting more but enjoying a satisfying conclusion to one of the more interesting story arcs adapted. Overall I think anyone who enjoys cheesy anime romance can sit down with this series and have a fun Valentine’s.

[rqs902]

i didnt bother with posting about ep 9 of ‘all for one’ but here we are on the last ep lol...

ok but ep 9 was literally just a big karaoke fest / fan meeting so nothing really stood out to me.... 

im starting this note halfway thru the ep after seeing huang zhibo’s line in pinlin’s group’s performance bc he did so well im so proud!!!!!!!! omgosh his stage presence has improved!! mainly this is all i wanted to say bc i actually really like zhibo even tho he didnt get much time to shine throughout this show :c ok even tho they had to color his hair for half his line, for the ending they didnt and just filtered the whole screen (thankfully) bc he really looks so nice here ahhhh 

omg he also got a random closeup later!!

omg i literally rewinded and replayed this one part so many times to watch zhibo.... i really like his dancing!!! 

ok but objectively pinlin’s group killed it, compared with the other 2 groups LOL

but ok i guess i should say something about what’s happened so far.... poor naicha’s group always gets stuck with doing a stage thats like 10x harder than all the other groups.... lol so is anyone actually surprised with the results from the first round?? is anyone gonna explain what happened to half of the members of he yifan’s group? lol.........

i think aj’s group did really well! their song really suited them and did feel very 潮 lol i think huadi KILLED IT and aj’s smile is always a highlight of their stages. i think ill always feel like i wish jojo had a bigger role in their perfs but it is what it is. i really liked their song

for new storm to be performing uniq’s monster feels so weird..... like the entire show is/was basically a whole big yuehua promotional strategy lol 

I CANT LISTEN TO THIS SONG WITHOUT HEARING CHEN TAO’S WENHAN “GWI ZE” IN MY HEAD HAHAHAHAHHAA

ok im sorry hong weizhe but wenhan started the song better LOL ;;; but also i love zongying and hes adorable but i think he messed up on stage and also his stage presence still needs some work.... why does it just look like hes glaring LOL yang bingzhuo is pulling off the short hair well! why is yixuan bald yanxiu singing his heart out!! and haolian’s smile aw haolian is really just a tall baby lol 

tuo xian mu ou.............. im crying........ their performance was so..... thoughtful. goodness even with a performance with minimal choreography, naicha designed every aspect of it with care. he always brings out the best qualities of each member through their performances and that is truly admirable. gao xin starting and ending the song, mu sen’s voice!! and guanguan’s, especially the line they sing together wow, zhang peng is beautiful and i need more of his voice too, zirui singing his heart out, long-ge’s dancing that brings people to tears, chen shun’s rap that cant be replicated, the little montage at the end, and naicha mentioned the formation at long-ge’s center part matching from their first performance and also their star levels matching from their original first grading -- bringing him back to being the only class leader with just 4 stars..... the fact that theyre all crying and hugging and selina and fei are crying im--- ahhhh gao xin and zheng peng’s friendship im truly ahhhhhh 

im sure they knew going into the last round that it would be highly unlikely that they would win... but i think they really showed us that they deserved to. 

ugh this ending song again feels biased toward new storm lol just like alllll the editing lol. i really like yanxiu’s voice! GAO XIN ZHANG PENG FRIENDSHIP AHHH omg yunlong holding a haoyu sign is the cutest thing!!

lol the fact that pinlin is in that new soy milk commercial im laUGHING theres really no doubt that he’ll make it still lol

naicha’s speech at the end was short but he stated facts. they lost the competition but they didnt lose face. tuo xian mu ou had the best stages 

poor aj.... never got to win first place this entire show........ and then he doesnt get to talk at the end?? ?lol

wow new storm won wow much surprise wow i definitely wasnt expecting this at all wow 

i feel like the whole concept of “popular class” is such a cop-out move LOL feels bad for the members of new storm who arent popular and probs arent gonna get treated like winners even tho they won.......... im concerned for yanxiu

i bet none of them actually even wanna be in “popular class” bc it totally ties them down / separates them from their actual classes... this is literally just to satisfy angry pinlin istg 

oh and theyre gonna go from 7 up? am i suddenly watching idol producer??? ooo chen shun!!! recognizing talent! naicha crying for him!!! and the fact that gao xin’s tall body jumped up as soon as she said tuo xian mu ou... awwww and he prob knew it wouldnt be himself but he was so happy for his team members c: gao xin is a giant softie 

at least since new storm had so many popular kids, that leaves a couple of spaces open in “popular class” lol 

lol i almost forgot about wang di oops now that im thinking about the kids who lost... why didnt they invite back the other teams?? like wait what about like yati and boxuan and ziyue -- i thought they liked them?? i mean i get they got eliminated halfway thru the show but still.... i feel like they were memorable / contributed a lot to this show

can we talk about haoyu running over to comfort huadi!!?!? ahhh 

yea about the whole “i dont think they even want to be in popular class”  -- literally i feel like huadi and aj and naicha are crying when they go on stage because they had to leave their original class behind....... 

im crying watching long-ge gesturing for a crying naicha to go on without them....

ok my tears havent even dried yet but im laughing at them trying to make it so suspenseful who got first place......... ITS PINLIN NO ONE IS DOUBTING THAT ITS PINLIN EVERYONE KNOWS ITS PINLIN OK THANKS

wow look at pinlin literally getting 3x the number of votes as yangtong at #2..... wow 

also just looking at yangtong, aj, and huadi’s rankings it makes sense why yoyo class was consistently like second place lol

haoyu and huadi coming out to welcome pinlin first is...... the most......... ahhhhh

and ofc they pan to his class -- aka look at yunlong’s proud smile and zhibo going from happy to sad in like 30 seconds

wow we really going for #8 and #9 at the same time? are you sure im not watching qcyn? 

OH MY GOODNESS ZHIBO AGAINST LONG GE????? ZHIBO IS POPULAR???? HAHAHAHHAHA OMG WHATTTT ok i expected long-ge and long-ge def deserves it but omg i didnt realize zhibo was popular lol omg yuehua owns this show istg

i feel like long-ge will win.... but also i feel like long-ge doesnt want to win........ i totally see him as someone who would prefer to go off on his own and not be tied down by this show any longer... but also chen shun and naicha are like his best buds on this show so at least he’d have them.... zhibo i feel like would need / want this win more.. because i think he’d have a lot more to show us that he hasnt gotten to yet / may not have the chance to if he just goes back to yuehua. 

pinlin and yixuan and all the yuehua kids running off stage to comfort zhibo....... yall couldnt get your fans to vote for zhibo i guess.......... well we all know that if he yifan hadnt dropped out, he’d be in top 8 and therefore not long-ge so.... thats just something to keep in mind :\ tbh feels bad for guanguan (and jojo) bc he was on zui you xiu with chen shun and long-ge... but i think guanguan didnt get to demonstrate himself as much as they did on this show... even tho naicha tried his best (and succeeded in doing so more than any other leader) to highlight each of their strengths

lol the way they announce the two groups its like “new storm!” and then a huge long list of names for popular class -- like hmm i wonder which one is the actual winners......

i keep getting scared that yixuans gonna hit haolian in the face with that giant thing lol

HAHAHAHA the ending is just pinlin doing 99999 last minute cfs for their sponsors 

hmmm so how do i feel about the popular class -- theyre gonna be called Black ACE? oh ok lol isnt it kinda funny that 4 of them were in “trigger” from the very beginning together? (just like how 4 of the yuehua kids are in New storm...) interesting how things kinda were set from the beginning lol. i honestly feel like pinlin, wang di and yang tong kinda stick out to me in this group, but i wonder what this mix of what feels like is “yoyo and tuo xian plus 2” will turn out. 

well now i guess its time to watch out for these two groups and also keep an eye out for guanguan, zhibo, mu sen, gao xin, zhang peng, and jojo to see what they get to do next!

[eckvark]

I forgot how your blog was formatted on desktop and I was so confused for a second- ANyway, 2 (I think it's the peach rings but I'm double checking), 3, 7, 14, 41, 42, 50?

oh pfft yeah sorry, whoopsies, youre here now though and i appreciate it :)

2. what’s your favorite candy? hmm yeah peach rings are good, i know ive said that before and its still true so good on you for remembering :') other than that i like nerds honestly especially the gummy rope kind,, i dont care for chocolate much but those white chocolate whatever-the-fucks with the yellow wrappers are really good though i eat them weirdly cus the inside and the outside are two different textures,,

3. favorite love song? oh buddy there are so many good ones,,, almost any khai dreams song is like an absolute standard- if theres a khai dreams song on a playlist someone makes for me i will think theyre in love with me /hj and if i put a khai dreams song on your playlist... well.. yeah, cold weather by glass beach, Kiss Her You Fool by Kids That Fly is fantastic, Infinity by Jaymes Young, Underground by Cody Fry,, bro there are so many,, and of course such classics as I Love You So, Beautiful Boy, Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy, Hey Lover!, you get the point and you have access to my spotify so you should be able to figure things out pretty well id think im also quite partial to Pretending by Anthony Amorim as well as Mr Loverman by Ricky Montgomery though those have been... i think we both know where this goes so im gonna leave it here

7. do you prefer poems or love letters? my memory is shit so i dont really know if ive ever gotten either, i know ive gotten letters but i dont think ive gotten any that could be considered love letters so i dont know from experience but theoretically i dont really care what the thing is, just the idea of someone remembering me and making something for me :') love letters might get a tiny leg up though just cus theyre more straightforward and lord knows i need all the help i can get when it comes to properly comprehending things

14. favorite candle scent? i dont know any by name but anything thats peachy or mango or things like that,, bath and body works has some good champagne ones too though if i remember correctly but i havent been there in a while

41. favorite soda? i dont really like soda very much, i dont like carbonated drinks a whole lot really but certain monster flavors are good enough that ill overlook the carbonation issue,, honestly id probably have to go with something boring and relatively plain like Mtn Dew though if we're going strictly soda

42. do you prefer gazing wistfully out the window or lying dramatically over the sofa? can i pick dramatically laying over the sofa while i gaze out the window? or at least can i lay really fucking weirdly on the sofa cus my back is shit and also im neurodivergent and gay so i simply can not sit correctly

50. what’s your dreamhouse? honestly i dont know.. i know i want to get out of here but i havent thought things through much past that since actually getting anywhere always seems so far away if its ever even going to happen at all so i dont really know... definitely gonna have enough space for at least one other person though... [insert Very Gay comment that im not gonna make right now but im certainly thinking it and im sure you can get the gist of well enough]

sorry this took me so long, whoopsies,, thank you though mister man! these were fun!

[sorikkung]

You did an intro to got7 a while ago could you maybe do one for A.C.E.??? They seem like a good group but I'm clueless atm so it would be v helpful!!!

lololol i did an intro to mark from got7 but not got7 as a whole, but yes ofc i will i love my talented bois and i love rambling about them heRE WE G O

an introduction to a.c.e, for dummies (jk ily choice is a great fandom pls join us)

also this is gonna get rlly long so im gonna put it under a cut

A.C.E is a 5-member boygroup under beat interactive!! which is a p small company atm so my boys dont exactly have the high quality living and practice areas and food that they deserve :(( THEYLL GET THERE THO IM SURE OF IT THEYRE LEGENDS

here’s their youtube channel with aaaaall sorts of goodies

i started stanning a.c.e predebut, bc they had a lot of content for a group that hadn’t debuted yet, and it was enough to snatch my attention real quick so you should check that shit out, they did a shitton of AMAZING covers and to get their name out there more, street buskings its a lot but i swear its worth your time theyre so talented!!

also they have matching tracksuits what more could you ask for tbh (as you can see from that vid, they’re literally so fucking extra)

a few of my favs are

this rlly long busking video w girl group songs and just a bit of everything tbh,

THIS amazing remix/cover of kard’s don’t recall by the rap line + this one cute girl,

only THE most iconic playing w fire cover, band version, (I WILL NEVER STOP SCREAMING ABOUT THAT VIDEO HONESTLY I COULD MAKE A POST ON THAT COVER ALONE ISTG) 

their flashlight cover that is enough to make a grown man cry omfuckigngOD it makes me feel things hjskskkh

that ONE TAKE dance cover they did of 3 of taeyangs songs, all focusing on a different member of the dance line

im gonna stop here before i link every damn cover they made

okay so now that thats covered (bad-um-tss) time for…DEBUT

THIs beauty right here is their debut song cactus, which has this really deep meaning to it. bc they came from a small company so they have to work extra hard to even be able to debut let alone be successful and they’re like a cactus bc cacti grow in the desert where there’s very little water but they still manage to stand strong even through the hardest of weather an environment conditions and eventually sprout beautiful flowers,, buuuuuut its also a meme for obvious reasons.

tbh debut era choice culture was just listening to cactus on repeat for days bc it was their only song at the time skjslaas not much has changed tbh LMAO but yes theyre a very edm loving group so their DANCE SKILLS ARE ON POINT SERIOUSLY IVE SEEN FEW GROUPS AS AMAZING AT DANCING AS ACE WOWOW

oh yeah did i mention that their fandom name is choice and that choice are literally the softest fandom my multifandom ass has e v e r been in?? theres literally no cringy or toxic side of the fandom its just so soft and welcoming and pure and everyone is so nice and sweet and friendly and just??? wow i love choice a lot hjkskjsshkhk choice are also SUPER talented too stan talent stan choice

speaking of cringe ace is that group that just like skipped the entire “rlly cringy boygroup debut phase” completely like no weird debut haircuts or outfits or weird lyrics about girls, well actually thats all kinda objective but like they made those outfits work ok and im a cactus isnt that weird of a lyric if you know the deep meaning behind it

aS yOu CaN sEe, cactus era was the era of the tHIGHS and the hot pants. it was literally so iconic it blew up and with great reason too, have you seen those thighs?? AND THEY KNOW IT TOO they even mentioned they chose the hot pants as their style concept and took better care of their legs than their faces. true kings. heres a video of a.c.e talking about the whole hot pants thing and just their legs in general its some quality shit. and heres a video where they decide to show off just how great their thighs are bc they like to kill choices like that, this video is important and iconic bc its where the wowson ship began and also when they declared who the king of thighs were amongst the kings of thighs. definitely a necessary watch for new choice imo. donghun lowkey grinds on the floor at 4:04, you’ve been warned. honestly that video just gets progressively gayer lmao i love it

also for us international choice they made an ENGLISH cover of cactus CAN YOU BELIEVE IT I LOVE THEM SM they didnt have to but they did and oml stan a group who stans you back this hard their english aint that great but theyre trying and i appreciate it so much theyre so amazing look

five months later they dropped their second single, callin’, and b o y was this a stressful comeback, beat had us FOOLEd,, i genuinely thought it was gonna be a flowerboy soft concept yknow with like some sweet lowkey ballad or soft pop song, but nOOooOOOooo, MORE HARDSTYLE EDM not that im complaining callin is a bop but i was TRICKED

LOOK AT THIS SHIT ITS ALL AESTHETIC AND THE CLIP OF THE SONG WAS ALL SOFT I WAS REALLY EXPECTING SMTH SOFT im sorry im still salty that beat tricked me but ITS FINE bc callin is a HELLA BOP like i honestly didnt expect them to top cactus so quickly bc like cactus was hella but they DID and its amazing and heres the link be blessed (warning, these gifs above make it look like a soft vid but there are LOTS of flashing colours and lights and its really intense on the eyes if youre not comfortable with that dont watch, just listen)

they also supplied multiple dance pracs you can find on their channel for callin bc ace feeds us well, although callin had a reaaaally short promotion period bc right after they got thrown onto survival shows for more publicity, but hey, its working!! choice is growing bigger every day and im so proud

donghun, wow and jason all went on yg’s show mixnine, and jun and chan went on the idol rebooting show, the unit. both teams are doing EXTREMELY well on their respective shows!! but ill talk more about that in their individual member profiles bc they havent been put on the same team for anything yet rip

edit: mixnine finished and donghun and jason made the cut for the final group, sehyoon didn’t :(( so dongson will be promoting with the mixnine group for a lil bit!! also chan made it to the unit debut group but jun didnt. im hoping for a sehyjun subunit pls

that was long af but now im gonna dive into the members individually!! so its probs gonna get twice as long sorrynotsorry i warned you

Jun (Park Junhee)

jun is the so-called fiery leader of ace (also lead dancer and lead vocal) but is honestly just a giant dork and a sweetheart. hes the type of guy who you scream at for being dumb and call him an idiot but thats your weird way of expressing your undying love for him?? ask literally any jun stan, they’ll say they hate him. hate him for being so PERFECT like a fucking DISNEY PRINCE he’s the designated prince of the group you know theres always that one member and hes just so LOVEABLE and stupid and skjdakhkjs he fuckign dropped his cake on his birthday when do your faves ever. dad of the group, probably lost the maknaes in the shopping mall about 3 times already. talks a lot, hates aegyo, his members might be planning on sacrificing him to satan? he does on idol class with chan every…i think its wednesday and fans vote who gets punishments n stuff and jun loses every damn time i think hes losing his faith in choice lmao. #saveleaderjun

he’s kinda married to donghun, they’re the parents of ace but donghun might try murder him in his sleep idk man, but now hes on the unit with chan and theyre all cute and you can literally ship everyone with everyone in this group

he has HELLA charisma on stage tho oh my gOd also he has one of the most unique singing voices ive ever heard so its really easy to single out, his face also is the first i learned to tell apart?? he has rlly high cheekbones and a wide but thin smile.

this is actually an ot5 video not just jun but jun’s reaction was by far the most iconic so i have to put it in his section, get you a fave who can FLY lmaooo

it would be CRIMINAL if i didnt solo out jun’s ringa linga cover, thE MOST ICONIC JUN COVER EVER HJFKDSJKFDSJK if i ever stop talking about this assume im dead bc IVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER IT jun in a leather jacket looking all rude and staring at the camera like that im WEAK, SO WEAK, AAAAAAAAHHHH

[ahem] MOVING ON

Donghun (Lee Donghun)

donghun, sometimes romanised as donghoon and often referred to by choice as hun or hoon, is the oldest member of the group and another total sweetheart, honestly ace is just a group of sweethearts, he cares for his members so damn much and is super soft?? but ALSO A s Av Age he’s on mixnine with sehyoon and jason and he SHOT DOWN YG, once again I C O N I C, yg was at a loss for words, heres more receipts of him being savage, i love my sassy boyfriend. BUT HES ALSO A SWEET NOODLE HJKSHJKS oH and did you know that before he joined a.c.e he had no experience in dancing whatsoever and in a year and a half, he caught up with the other four members that have been dancing since they were kids?? I STAN TALENT YALL you’d literally never be able to guess that bc all of them are like on an equal dance level its insane

also he used to have braces during cactus era and it was the softest shit

[cOUGHS] so like did someone say disrespect,,, bc he can do that too,,,,, aAAAAAAAH the duality of this man istg

he’s the main vocalist and has vO C AL S OF AN A N GEL, he has so much soul and emotion in his voice, and has adlibs for days oh my god, he also has the MOST BEAUTIFUL FALSETTO i’ve ever heard, fight me, actually come at me. his voice works REALLY well with chan so they pair him up with him for quite a handful of covers like the all of me one i linked (one of my favs omfg it makes me emo) cause like, his soulful voice plus chan’s higher, sweet voice just sounds so great together i love our main vocals wow.

sPEAKING OF WOW,

Wow (Kim Sehyoon)

his stage name is wow, but its hard to take seriously so the fandom just calls him sehyoon lmfao. it used to be seyoon but when he went on mixnine, he revealed sehyoon was the official romanization so here we are lmao. even if your bias isn’t sehyoon…it’s sehyoon. he’s just that guy ya feel me?? anyways sehyoon is a relatively quiet and reserved guy, but his members really pull out the dork in him, i love it so much?? he doesn’t talk much but when he does all of a.c.e directs their full attention to him to listen, its really sweet, hes pretty awkward with people but you can tell he just feels so safe and comfortable with ace it honestly warms my heart. he’s the main rapper and main dancer, but!! our multitalented man is also a vocalist. yes, you heard, me, the main rapper can sing, and really well at that. (if you scroll up back to the flashlight and dont recall covers, you can see more of his voice.)

gets the least lines, but not by much. although hearing his singing voice in their actual songs has happened like with 2 lines?? so idk man im just waiting for their ballad song that theyre apparently doing for their third song, god im so ready. i love his voice a lot, damn.

he’s also like reeeeeeeeeally gay for jason…the entire fandom ships it and they even ship it themselves. wowson, the otp of ace, they honestly just cant keep their hands off eachother??? i know a friend who struggled to tell apart jun and jason so she just looked at who sehyoon was standing next to and instantly knew it was jason. THEYRE SO CLINGY. i love my squishy boyfriends. 

OHHH BOY…i really could’ve used an even more disrespectful gif than this but that would ruin the surprise of watching it in the actual video!! as you can see, sehyoon is the K I N G of disrespect on stage, that shy lil fluffle bean you see offstage?? GONE. DISAPPEARED. VANISHED. this is why his stage name is wow, sehyoon disappears and you just go wow. choice has dubbed him king of bodyrolls with great reason, he makes every concept into a sexy concept, he just has that intimidatingly sexy aura to him, its incredible. 

now…are you ready….i bet youre not…who am i kidding NOBODY was ready for this shit. on mixnine, sehyoon was picked as leader for one of their stages (i think he was leader for ringa linga too??) and got to choreograph the routine. if you think its already rude 10 seconds in, its all over for you bitches when the lighting goes yellow. i feel the need to repeat, our boy CHOREOGRAPHED THIS. IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA. EVERY. SINGLE. PART. this is the same kid who everyone on the show knew as the shy, quiet, handsome boy. but then. 

but then he did this.

Jason (Kim Byeongkwan)

jason is his stage name that he chose for himself but his real name is byeongkwan, its another case of an idol having a stage name and nobody calling them by it?? i mean most new choice call him jason and i personally switch between the two but most choice seem to call him byeongkwan or bk if theyre extra lazy lmao. memers call him byonk sometimes.

jason is the weird child of the group and we all love him…he’s the second lil ball of sunshine and part ½ of the maknae line. he’s often found clinging to sehyoon or literally any of the members bc he’s an affectionate son who loves cuddles okay?? p r o t e c t   h i m.

he’s also the lead everything. yeah thats really not fair but jason is op ok?? singing, rapping, dancing, visual, like sehyoon he’s the full package, i can hardly call them the rap line they’re just the op line t b h. triple threats.

on their official twt jason likes to confirm wowson a lot, its p great lololol he’s the biggest wowson shipper of all time. want more wowson? i gotchu, here’s one of my absolute fav moments. (ft. junchan/chun)

he has some HELLA CHARISMA on stage like boy can u pls chill. they also love doing his eye makeup with that red makeup and it looks rlly good bc bk has such pretty eagle eyes and its his Look™ and that along with his onstage persona is a DEADLY COMBINATION HDSJKSKSLKJS 

i’m just gonna keep this short; even if your bias isnt byeongkwan, your bias is byeongkwan. he has that affect on everybody. number one bias wrecker out of the fandom t b h apart from sehyoon (he cant be my bias wrecker if he is my bias so im safe :^J)

Chan (Kang Yuchan)

INTRODUCING OUR CHANSHINE, MAIN VOCAL OF ACE, CUTIE MAKNAE CHAN!!!! he always introduces himself as a.c.e’s main vocal cutie maknae chan, its his iconic line and it suits him so well like LOOK AT HIM ISNT HE JUST A FUCKING RAY OF SUNSHINE WHAT A PURE CHILD I MUST PROTECC he’s literally the happy virus y’all AND ACE KNOWS IT TOO heres this one time where donghun even said that looking at chan cheers him up. certified sunshines only, everyone. also watch that whole video its long but its worth your time.

anyways our boy is a main vocal and as mentioned in donghun’s part they harmonize!!! so!! well!! i mean tbh all of ace can harmonize with eachother its the most beautfiul thing but these two are main vocal for a reason okay. if you didn’t already watch it in donghun’s part listen to THIS and have your ears be blessed i cry everytime oh my god skdfhd ALSO THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT ITS LIKE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE VIDEOS ON THE INTERNET i want to cry i lvoe chans voice so much i love chan i love kang yuchan og hmylhdg sodf i was gonna say i swear im sehyoon biased but im not istg ace is bias wrecking me 24/7 its been the hardest group to pick a bias in ever im not kidding i cant even

also known as kang RUDE, chan was all innocent sunshine and daisies until out of the blue he decided to give the disrespect king sehyoon a run for his fucking money. NOBODY FUCKING SAW IT COMING WE ALL THOUGHT HE WAS SO PURE AND THEN HE SUDDENLY STARTED FLASHING HIS ABS EVERYWHERE AND GRINDING ON THE FLOOR AND DOING THAT AND WE JUST CANT HANDLE IT i dont know a kang yuchan please save me oh my lord

okay this already has an ungodly amount of links and honestly i could go on, but this should be a good enough kickstart for you!!

stan talent stan a.c.e everyone. welcome to the choice family. its literally the softest and sweetest fandom out there. we welcome you with open arms and lots of cacti!!!

[incendavery]

gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

:0

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

HA 

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty! 

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad! 

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 

hell yeah!!!! 

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you! 

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?

[theladyofthewest]

I’m an emotional mess so :)

A lot of these posts have been going around and I have had the distinct honour to have been tagged in some myself. Firstly, a huge thank you to anyone who did tag me, I can’t begin to describe how happy you made me by doing that. 

Secondly, one thing I want to say is that a lot of this list is comprised of people I hold very dear to my heart especially considering that even though our interests may vary and I may not post about things they enjoy anymore, they’re still here and really that shows me that I have friends who are here for me, who like me, and not any content I post so for that I’d like to extend another huge thank you. i can’t begin to describe to all of you what that means to me :) <3 

@wreathoflaurels​ : Oh mannnnn haha where do I begin??? Umm Laura is like literally one of my best friends and I cant begin to say how relieved I am that I mustered up the courage to talk to her that one day cause its been nothing but love and support and caring for each other since. i cant understand how someone i have never been able to lay eyes on in person could have so much of my heart and so much of my trust. I would lay down my life for you in a second and i dont think I get nearly enough opportunities to show you that. You are such a giving and supportive person and I truly count myself privileged to have been able to meet someone like you and count you as one of the people nearest to my heart. I love you and I want nothing but the best for you. 

@gobodosama​: Someone else that I count myself so blessed to have mustered up the courage to talk to omg. I remember the first time I spoke to Abbey was on one of her streams and she was so kind and supportive that I immediately thought ‘well fuck she’ll never like you.’ But!!!! by some miracle, she did and I get to say, with so much pride that Abbey is one of my best friends. Abbey is someone I have been able to pour my heart out to and never feel like my words will be misconstrued or misinterpreted. I truly feel like the best version of myself when I am speaking to you and i CANt begin to thank you enough for that. My super talented, kind, loving, beautiful best friend. Stay awesome, I love you. 

@sankontesu​ :Sometimes I sit there and wonder to myself how I, hell the world, got so lucky to have someone like Lali. honestly. Lali is easily one of the kindest and most generous and open hearted people I have ever met. Lali, I remember being absolutely floored that you would spend your own money on commissioning art of Reiko for me as a birthday present. That you hadn’t even met me and you were willing to spend your own money on me. We were so close to being able to meet in NYC and do I wish to god it happened so i could give you such a huge hug and thank you for being you. People can say whatever they want about Lali but let it be known that in all my life I have never met someone like you, someone who is so good to the core and deserving of nothing but love. I love you, even if we havent spoken in so loooongg, and I hope you are always smiling cause you deserve nothing but . 

@mirsan​ :Angie is someone that I could talk about for days. I would never get tired of announcing to the world how much Angie means to me as a person and how beautiful and giving and caring and supportive she is. There have been too many occasions for me to quote to anyone where I have felt like Angie would take on the world for me and there have been times where she has done just that. And whats most amazing about Angie is that its not just me or any of her friends that she would do that for, Angie would do that for anyone. That is what makes her such an amazing person. Angie i have been able to cry to you, cry with you, laugh with you, and listen to horrific 10 minute voice notes with you, do dramatic live readings of horrific fics with you - you name it. I will never forget that when I was scared of seeing someone to talk to, it was you who talked me through what the initial process would be and gave me the courage to go through with it. i cant thank you enough for that. I love you so much you are literally my life coach, be mirsan af and happy always, i will fight anyone who contradicts that. 

@narkik​ : amandaaaaaa omg. Amanda you were probably my first friend on here. The Office AU haha and I remember thinking that you were waaaaay too cool for me and lo and behold I am correct. You are such an intelligent and beautiful person, so easy to talk to and i love that i can go months without talking to you and yet the next time we do talk its like it was just yesterday. idk what it is that makes me feel like I could talk to you about anything but know that i would literally fight the entire universe in order to put a smile on your face because you deserve that. Its weird how someone can be the opposite of me in so many ways and yet we can still be so similar. I love you and I want to always write smut that makes you cry in public places from trying not to smile haha, please stay happy always!!!

@aaya-ranjha-mera: omgggg you are a wild card entry! I can not begin to fathom how close I have gotten to you in such a short time. I can honestly say that I never expected for you to become a daily fixture in my life where it feels weird if we arent talking about one thing or the other. I love that i can always count on you to understand how im feeling and offer perspectives on it that i didnt even imagine. I love how I dont have to explain things to you, you seem to just understand them and sometimes its like you’re just on the same brainwave as me haha (our twins moments are far too many to count). You understand me and my love for certain,,,, characters,,,, *sigh* in a way that makes me feel a little more sane at the end of the day anD i LOVE you for that. I adore that you trust me enough to talk to me about things because the feeling is 10000% mutual and I would fight the entire planet for you!

@smilebomber : OH RINNE.. soMETIMES i think about you and just get really emotional because you are such a pURE soul and you honestly must be protected at all costs. When i think sunshine and happiness and the warmth you get from being around someone you love, I think of you. You’re so strong and loving and beautiful and TALENTED. Is there anything you cant do?? i think not. I love that youre always so considerate of everyone around you, you’re always thinking of others and their feelings and i want you to know that I am always always always thinking of you and i have so much love in my heart for you. you have been there to ask me if i’m okay when I’m feeling down, to leave me nice asks and pick me up messages and I can’t find words to tell you how much that means to me. All I can really do is impress on you that I will always, in any circumstance, be here to do the same for you and if anyone ever tries to make you feel like you are anything short of an actual goddess I will come for their ass so help me god. 

@hedevimaiyya: i want to say to you shivangi that i am guaranteed going to cry typing this and if you laugh i will kill you ok. Shivangi omg omg omg i have been able to tell you things that i would never tell anyone else, i have been able to cry to you in ways that i dont know if ive done to someone else. You understand me on a wavelength that I dont think even I can reach??? When i talk to you its like all my sadness and stress becomes background noise because we just have so much fun talking to each other. I share everything with you, be it art or fic or OCs and you make me feel like ive done something worth the nobel prize every single time and I cant tell you the fuzzy feeling i get every time you message me because you are associated with goodness and happiness to me and I just feel so strongly for you. I would murder anyone who hurt you and I have been on the verge of doing so more than once. i hope to god, more than anything, that you come down to ontario so i can hug you and scream or i come up to montreal and you can laugh at my french which, while being fluent and spoken with a correct accent, is probably horrible. I LOVE YOU BOOBOO ILL DIE FOR YOU. 

@onikik : You know what michelle you wanna know the truth. i struggled a lot writing your paragraph. Because i dont know where to begin talking about you. Do i start with your talent, with the fact that youre the actual hand of god? do i start with your wonderful ideas and humour?? Or do i start with the heart of pure gold in your chest? You are honestly one of the most amazing people I have met hands down, you are always ready to spread love and care and be there for other people. You - god Im getting teary eyed thinking about it - you go out of your way to do things for other people and even when youre doing a commission you go out of your way to personalize it for the person and really make them feel like you did this for them and only for them, to make them happy. theres this loving intimacy in everything you do that makes everyone around you feel like you care about them and that you are there for them. idk how you do it honestly but i think youre an actual god. yOU must be i cant imagine there being any other way that you could be so beautiful and kind and loving and giving and caring and just pe r fect. I love you and id die for you and kill for you. know that always. 

and to you beautiful, beautiful people: you are all such amazing people who have made me feel so loved and welcomed. I see your URLs on my dash and I immediately am filled with warmth and love because thats exactly what all of you represent to me!!!!!

@ohblackfire, @kristicles, @thequeenwillruletheboard, @oh-haseena, @inukag, @sinuyasha, @kongosoha, @ashcanvas, @macabre-and-cheese

to anyone I forgot: I am so incredibly sorry. Know that if your name isnt on this list anywhere, that doesnt mean you’re not in my heart and that I wouldnt give my actual life for you. I have a horrible memory and I give you my deepest and most sincere apologies. <3 

[buckykingofmemes]

ice cream man answers

(you guys sent in so many asks im posting all my answers to the ones you asked at once, so i dont take up your whole dashboard.)

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy? not sure about brands, but i tried pop rocks and they changed everything i knew about reality and what food is

peach: how do you relax? sometimes i fight nazis. thats a nice way to vent steam. petting dogs or cats or birds or literally any other animal is a winner every time. making food is a good because its constructive and at the end i get food. sometimes steve and i go running. but not early in the morning because mornings are terrible.

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands? i dont wear much makeup but pepper breaks out some sephora stuff when we have to go on tv? i like OPI nail polish.

birthday cake: favorite books? i recently read and loved the harry potter books. im a hufflepuff, just so you know.  (Mod Hell loves the Dresden Files, pretty much everything by David Webber or Robin McKinley or Tamora Pierce)

french vanilla: how old are you? buddy, i dont fuckin know anymore. a little under 100, by the books, but how the heck am i supposed to count the cryofreze?

(Mod Hell: I regularly forget my own age, but I’m pretty sure I’m 24)

fudge: turn offs? nazis. really not into nazis. 

chocolate: when was your first kiss? i was…7, probably. grade school sometime. me and stevie saved this girl mary from a real jerk of a bully and she kissed both of us, one right after the other. sent stevie straight into an asthma attack, poor kid. but she was both of our first kisses.

neapolitan: things that stress you out? public speaking. steve inside any aircraft. trains. not having any weaponry. bad hair days.

bubblegum: books or movies? totally depends om my mood. movies, maybe, because they can be more of a group activity, but dont require a ton of social interaction.and the novelty of being able to watch films in your own home hasnt quite worn off.  but i do like to read a lot.

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool? my beach experiences involve either a lot of 1. storming +fighting nazis or 2. sand in my cool robot arm,  which is not fun. so pools. even though im not buoyant enough to float anymore so i wear swim fins on my left arm.

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors? outdoors, when the weather is right.

moose tracks: favorites for manga? orange sherbet: favorites for anime? i read fullmetal alchemist.and then watched the anime. all of it. it was really good, although i feel like clint only showed it to me because of the robot arm thing. its the only manga or anime ive experienced so far, but i really liked it!

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs? i love @iguanamouth‘s crazy animals, and i follow a couple knitting blogs, as well as @dailybadjokes, just so i have some really terrible puns to use when nat breaks out her dad jokes.

superman: do you like sweaters? do i like sweaters. friend, i live in sweaters. i haveta knit em special though so they dont have a left sleeve because otherwise the plates in my arm catch on the knit.

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried? yes. the first time steve tried out the vibranium shield he missed the rebound and hit himself in the head with the flat side. he flew a good six feet through the air, knocked himself clean out. it was beautiful. i was crying. howard fell over, he was laughing so hard.

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee? yes. it is how i am alive. 

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music? i have a hard time with this one because im still learning so much about modern music. me and thor like listening to heavy metal, and i like tonys classic rock n’ roll, but im also really fond of the music of the 30s and 40s, the stuff i grew up with. 

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet? i havent gotten to game of thrones yet. people keep telling me such and such a character is gonna die, but im not sure how they can have that many dead characters and still have enough people for a book.

(Mod Hell has not, and never will, read Fifty Shades of Grey)

toffee: a card game that you’re good at? so far, all of them. but rummy is my game, friends. i will kick anyones ass at rummy.

(Mod Hell has an inexplicable affinity for Up the River/Down the River. And Irish Poker, if you wanna count that as a card game)

mango: when and why did you start your blog? my therapist recommended i write about things that were happening in my life, and mentioned that blogging was a good way to do so. i dont think this was quite what she had in mind, but here we all are, so... anyways, this blog was started on october 10th, 2016.

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment? can i count the entire discography of pink floyd? tony recently introduced me to them and they’re pretty great.

(Mod Hell has been enjoying Down Like Silver’s Wolves, because my taste in music is very very morbid)

butter pecan: favorite songs for life? this is a hard one. lately i have been enjoying fleurie’s ‘soldier’ because im a cliche sonovabitch 

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

dog. do dogs talk? not sure but if they do i want in.

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now? uhh... silver on the left, none on the right? except for my right pinkie, which is black because thor accidentally set his hammer down on my fingertip. so theres a blood blister there. gross. but they were red last week. me an nat had a nail night. 

(Mod Hell is rocking a matte black and gold french manicure. I’m getting good at those!)

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?one time me an the howlies were having a night on the town and i drunkenly forgot steve was huge and i tried to pick him up (i mean literally lift him. i wasnt hitting on steve) because i thought he was still tiny.  i failed. steve did not budge at all.  and in the process of trying to regain my balance i overcompensated and fell into the thames. which wouldnt have been so bad if all the howlies and the girls we were with hadnt been right there laughing at me. its probably not the most embarrassing thing ive ever done but its the first that comes to mind.

 (Mod Hell accidentally flashed a lifeguard once, so quickly I was never sure if he actually saw or not. Still super embarrassing.)

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream? yes. all of them. now, please.

(Mod Hell:  chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?  If you’re counting this blog, the “new years resolution: 1080p” post got picked up by a couple bigger blogs and is the frontrunner at 21,000+ notes. Original posts at hellenhighwater usually fade out at like 20 notes. So there’s a bit of a gap there.

Mod Hell: black raspberry: do you have any pets? Oh man yeah. I have two cats, Nimitz and Yamamoto. Nim is small and black and puffy and made primarily of homicidal urges. She is the Terror of the Underbrush; the Reaper and Eater of Souls. Yamamoto is 23 pounds of superbly useless cat. Her favorite activity is slowly petting the stair banister post with her paw. I also have a mated pair of domestic Violet Ringneck doves named Vexation and Vendetta who live in my bedroom, though I’ll be building them an outdoor coop to vacation to in the summer. Vex and Ven are the most wonderful idiots. They live life like it’s a spanish soap opera. Everything is very dramatic and seductive and not in a language I understand.)

[watersuncharted]

hi! its january 8th now, just a few days after setting in and man, things are insane! 

so, lets rewind. so much has happened since we last spoke. i cannot believe that right now im in spain! SPAIN! currently actually living my best life. im on the rooftop of my building, i can see the mountains i can see the water i can see sagrada in all of her glory. i see buildings and hear the bustle of the city below me. 

today was my first day alone and i must say, it’s been much needed. i woke up pretty late, around 12, and no one was home. as i got ready kay and betsy and melissa came back and got ready for class and went on their way. my class got cancelled, so pretty happy about that one. i got dressed, took out the trash, and went on a little walk. 

one thing to know about me is that i LOVE walks. they clear my head and they give me clarity and help me think better. they ease my nerves and calm me down.  although i didnt need too much calming, after this jam packed last few days i feel way better. 

i went to a cafe, which turned into a lunch spot apparently after 12. they had delicious coffee and i had a queso y jamon torta hehe the waiter was very nice and accomdated my english but i tried to speak to him in spanish. its weird, ill be thinking in spanish and then they’ll respond in english so then my english comes out wrong. kinda funny honestly. 

the weather was perfect so after i stayed there a while i wandered around to sagrada and throughout the neighborhood a little. absolutely gorgeous weather and im glad i got to see all the shops. 

 i took a lot of time to think today. im really happy about that. i think whats hard right now is that theres really no set schedule. i dont have my classes, everything i do is group and im not super super comfortable on my own. i mean, i am comfortable dont get me wrong. i dont really feel like this is a new place, which is weird, its just i dont really know what to do with myself, whats appropriate, where i can find wifi and things like that. i love it here so much, and although last night i did feel kinda homesick for my friends, i wasnt too down and out about it. 

if we rewind to the last few days, things have been crazy. i think last time i journaled was night one. after that, we did a bunch of things. the next night we went out to this sports bar and we ended up hanging out alll with americans and it was fun, dont get me wrong, but it was disappointing. it was nice to see the comfort i have in spain but i think im ready for the all immersive dive. i hope my classes aren’t all just international students and i hope that i meet others soon. we also went on a hunt for a striaghtener and i used my spanish skills to find us a huge mall. im so happy we did that because not only did we find a mall, we explored and found a cool residential area that seemed like the real deal. we walked over a highway, almost got ran over by a tram, but in the end we bought a plancha de pelo! im so happy my spanish is pretty good and people can understand me, it makes me kinda feel better about almost failing spanish all those years. aunty would be proud. then, we went to this AMAZING restaurant. l’oliviera i belike was the name. there was AMAZINGGGGG sangria, not strong but absolutely delicious. my first real sangria, and it was delicious. seriously ive never had better alcohol than i have here. but it was so sos o good. the tapas were divine and everything im pretty sure was under 10 euro each. INSANE. the food here is to die for, especially the seafood. we took a nice walk home and ive never been more proud. the girls are scared of walking at night, which is fair, abut in a group i feel like we’re fine. i dunno, maybe im crazy. 

sunday we didnt do much since it was kinda the eve of la dia de los reyes magos. there was a huge parade but jet lag got the best of us and we ended up passing out for the whole thing. the streets were packed though and im super short so im sure that i didnt miss anything too crazy, im kinda upset about it because i did want the cultural experience, but hey you win some you lose some. 

monday was the holiday but we decided to go to park guell. let me tell you, it was stunning. i cant wait to go back and walk around more and just sit there sometimes. it was a PERFECT beautiful day outside, sun was shining the wild was a slight breeze. the architecture looked fake. it was like a dream land. gaudi never ceases to amaze me and his art work is unreal. i cant wait to see the rest of what hes built, its going to be insane. i wis i would sit there for hours. its absolutely gorgeous. i love my girls here but sometimes we’re not super on the same page. afterwards we went to this AMAZING tapas restaurant. this restaurant is i think my favorite so far, besides the one we went to along the beach, sal cafe. the sangria here was stronger but still good. we were pretty much buzzed all day. i dont think ive laughed so much for so long except with these girls, i kinda hope im fitting in with them! theyre super sweet and normal, and theyre learning about me fast because i dont have time to ease them into the craziness of my family. 

anyways, we then chilled for a little bit, i made dinner for everyone, and we went to opium! in order to program opium we went to this bar where I RAN INTO ALYSSA PAULY AND ETHAN DAN. WHO I HAVENT SEEN SINCE 6TH GRADE AND SINCE BP SOPHEX THIS SUMMER. insane!! we linked with them and we went out. this going out experience costed us no more than the taxi charge, thank god. everything was FREE. we left a little early but nothing to crazy, opium sobered us up a little faster than expected. im glad we got a huge group going though, it was way nicer than going alone. happy about that. we came home aroudn 3:30, kinda like a uiuc night, and had orientation at 11 next morning. i think something funny and notable was on the way back from opium tipsy me loves to blurt out my spanish! the taxi driver LOVED me and told me i had good spanish, no idea if he was being genuine but i was happy about it :) kinda happy about that one. anyways! 

orientation was POINTLESS. we learned nothing, got our IDs and tried to change our classes. weird, but i guess thats how they do it here. i hope i get the class i absolutely need—otherwise im truly screwed. i give that into your hands God. 

i have a long laundry list of things to do today, so im hoping I can get that all done before we hop on over to razzmatazz tonight! i kinda wanna just stay in but i think its a move to go out i guess 

i need wifi now, its like 3:40pm so i think its time i get started on my day, but im happy that i have gotten to explore, be up her eon the rooftop and to just be present and reflect. i think i need more of this soon. i love it here, i really do. 

xx

[thesffcorner]

February Wrap Up

Despite being the shortest month of the year, I read 7 books and 10 graphic novels, or 17 things in total. It was also another month where I read a lot of diverse genres: I read 10 contemporaries, 4 of which were thriller/mysteries, and 6 of which were romance; 4 sci-fi, 1 speculative historical romance, 1 fantasy romance and 1 historical fantasy. Instead of doing highest to lowest, since I have so many graphic novels and some are part of the same series, I decided to group them by the date read, so without further ado, let’s get into it.

Fence vol. 1-3 by C S Pacat and Joanna the Mad (3, 4, 3 stars)

I wanted to read this series for a while, and I finally binged it this February. Fence follows Nicholas, a young fencer with a complicated past and poor background who comes to Kings Row, a school with the fourth best fencing programs in the country. There, to his shock he finds Senji, a junior champion with Olympic aspirations; and the two can’t stand each-other.

This series is just a whole lot of fun. It’s written like a Western style sports anime/manga, and Joanna the Mad’s artstyle is very reminiscent of manga, with lots of action line, pretty boys and expressive, large eyes. The first volume is a fine set up of Nicholas’ first confrontation with Senj, and arriving at the school, while the second and third volume deal with the qualifications at the school for who will make the fencing team. As Nick is on an athletic scholarship, he has to qualify or he gets kicked out, but like many of these series go, he has some stiff competition, and develops friendships with said competition.

I really enjoyed the dynamic between all the characters, especially Senji and Nicholas, and if you’re a fan of sports anime, cute queer comics, or painfully slow-burn enemies to lovers stories, check this out.

Check, Please! Year 3 by Ngozi Ukazu (4 stars)

The first thing I read in February was the third volume of Check, Please! This was as cute as the previous 2 volumes, as it follows Bittie’s third year in college. What struck out to me upon rereading this specific year, is that it actually has way more angst and conflict than I remember it having; there’s a lot here about Bittie and Jack coming to terms with not just their long distance relationship, but also coming out and finding acceptance within the confines of a major sports league like the NHL. It also deals a lot with Bittie coming to terms with the hockey team changing as Ransom, Holster and Lardo graduate. Overall, a good continuation of the story.

Deadly Class vol 1-2 by Rick Remender and Wes Craig (3, 2, 2 stars)

Deadly Class is a series that if I had started reading when I was in late high school, early college, I know I would have loved. However now, as an adult, I find it grating, pretentious, and far too extreme for no real reason. The story aspects that I liked the most, I’ve also already seen or read in far better works; it doesn’t help that up to volume 3, there are only 2 characters left that I remotely care about, and one of them just got introduced in that volume.

The series follows a group of kids who go to an elite training school for assassins. We mostly follow Marcus, the son of a Nicaraguan expats, who ends up at the school after he meets Saya and a few of the other students during a stick up. Though the first volume started out promising, volumes 2 and 3 kept getting less and less good, and unless something drastically changes in my life, I can’t see myself continuing on with this series.

Contagion by Erin Bowman (3 stars)

This is a sci-fi book set in the near-distant future, and it follows the crew of Odyssey, a research vessel that is sent to Black Quarry to investigate a distress signal. Once there, the crew realizes that something bad has happened, as they find bodies and a potentially deadly thing haunting them; and the mysterious ‘young boy’ the engineer of Black Quarry warns them about is not making matters any easier.

This was a rather mediocre sci-fi, but I still enjoyed it. As it’s part of a duology I will definitely be finishing the story out, but as is it doesn’t do too much with this well-tread premise. Bowman does have a good grasp on action and suspense, but a lot of the character decisions in the novel were akin to ones characters in Blumhouse horrors make, and considering most of them are some form of scientists, that wasn’t an ideal route to take. Still if you enjoy stories about aliens, sentient viruses, isolated space incidents and horror, it’s worth checking out.

Prince Charming by Rachel Hawkins (4 stars)

This is the first book in a series of contemporary romances, all centering around the fiction crown family of Scotland. In this first novel we follow Daisy, the younger sister of Eli, who gets engaged to Andrew, the Crown Prince of Scotland. After an incident in a parking lot with her ex, Daisy gets blackmailed into spending the summer in Scotland with her sister and fiance, and get acquainted with the royal family; cue shenanigans, romance and lots of sisterly yelling.

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this book; it was very funny and entertaining, and I haven’t related to a characters quite like I did to Daisy, since Princess Mia Thermopolis. While there are some tropes these stories tend to have, Hawkins manages to avoid a lot of the cliches, and she actually has some really good commentary on the economy of the royal family, the outdated and outright sexist traditions, the close-mindedness, and the prejudice that both sides are steeped in at the start. I found the romance very cute, the shenanigans were funny and entertaining, and I will definitely be reading the sequel.

Heart of Gold Part 1 by Eli and Viv (4 stars)

This is an webcomic that I stumbled onto by complete accident, but it blew me away. It follows Ionel, a concert pianist who is slowly losing his sight, and Kasper a priest with the power to heal people. Ionel moves to the small town and starts attending mass, in hopes that Kasper will heal him, but every time it gets close to, or his turn, Kasper refuses to help him. Through his attendance, the two become close, with Kasper seeming to have a crisis of faith, all while people from the town start dying; and they might be connected to Kasper.

This comic drew me in almost immediately. The art is absolutely beautiful, and it’s hard to believe that this is a free web comic. The story too is very mature and interesting; it deals a lot with religion, faith, and sacrifice, and the slow build of Isonel and Kaspar’s relationship feels very natural. I can’t wait for Act 2, and I’m really hoping the answers to what is happening in the town deliver on the build up we’ve gotten so far.

Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson (3 stars)

I heard about this book a lot when it came out, and I decided to check it out, since it’s a mystery following a girl who wants to become an FBI agent, coming to Ellingham Academy, a Montessori type private school, to solve an old cold case; that of the founder, Albert Ellingham’s daughter’s kidnapping.

I won’t lie; this book did not live up to the hype for me, though it was entertaining. I have a much longer and more detailed review of why, but it mostly boiled down to a few things. First, I didn’t like that it ends of a cliffhanger, and we get no answers; this is a bit odd for a mystery, especially a series which has more than two books. Second, I thought the way the past and present mystery connected wasn’t very well done, and I kept losing interest in the past, because of the way the book was written. And finally, I found some of the writing dry and lacking in proper atmosphere.

However, I still enjoyed the story, and the main character of Steve, and I will probably read the sequel, since I still want to know what happens.

S.T.A.G.S. by M A Bennet (3 stars)

S.T.A.G.S. is a British thriller, set in Saint Aidan the Great’s School or STAGS, a private boarding school with a long tradition. When new student Greer gets invited to a weekend of huntin, shootin, fishin at the estate of the leader of the most popular clique in the school, Henry, she accepts, not knowing what waits for her; and what does is a nightmare that might turn deadly, where the hunting, shooting, and fishing, might be a little too real and dangerous.  

I really enjoyed this thriller; I thought it was entertaining, fast paced and had a plot that kept me invested to the end. I also weirdly enjoyed the subtle romance between two of the characters, which isn’t often the case.

However, this book isn’t without it’s problems. The ending is a bit predictable, and having seen the Riot Club, I knew what I was getting into, in terms of what the weekend actually entailed. I also found that the book lacked a lot of tension, because we found out early on who lives through it. However, it was still enjoyable, and if you like these types of thrillers set in boarding schools or private estates, I think you will enjoy this one.

Undead Girl Gang by Lily Anderson (4 stars)

Like Prince Charming before, I was genuinely surprised at how much I ended up enjoying this book, because when I started it, I was really caught off guard by the humor. However, once I got used to it, this became one of the funniest things I read this month.

Undead Girl Gang is a horror/comedy that follows Mila, a Mexican-American teenager who practices Wicca. After her best friend Riley supposedly commits suicide, just a week after a double suicide of two of her other classmates, Mila decides to perform a spell and bring Riley back; but instead she brings all three of the girls back. The problem? They can’t stand each-other, and if they don’t want to be walking zombies, they need to stay within a 100 steps of Mila.

This book was hilarious and very dark. I really enjoyed all the relationships between the girls, and I found the look at grief very well done and moving. The ending was climactic, and the conclusions Mila comes to worked well for me; if you enjoyed the Craft, Mean Girls or Heathers, check this out, you will probably like it.

Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi (5 stars)

This was by far my favorite thing I read this month. I struggled writing a review for it, because I just didn’t know how to talk about it without just relegating to spoilers and gushing about the characters and the puzzles. It’s a book that follows a group of thieves, who steal magical artifacts, each with their own motivations and goals. When they steal a magical Chinese compass, the discover that it leads them to a Horus Eye; an artifact so powerful it can show them the way to the fabled Fragment of Babel.

It’s the Mummy, mixed with National Treasure, mixed with Ocean’s 11. It’s fun heist story, set during the Exposition Universelle, and if you are like me at all and like any of these things, you will love this book.

Sleepless vol. 1 by Sarah Vaughan (4 stars)

This was probably my favorite of the graphic novels I read; it’s a fantasy that follows Poppy, the illegitimate daughter of a King, and a famous star reader. When her father the King dies, Poppy is forced to navigate court life, as his brother takes the throne, but things become increasingly hard as several assassination attempts are made, and her Sleepless protector Cyrenic starts drifting.

There’s just something about this series that ticks all my boxes. The art is absolutely gorgeous, the story is interesting and a bit different from the usual fantasy I read, and the Sleepless vow is a very unique type of magic. To top it off, I really like the two leads, Poppy and Cyrenic and I’m curious to see what turn the story will take after the ending we get in issue 6.

Motor Crush vol. 1 by Brenden Fletcher (3 stars)

I’ve been meaning to start this series for a while, and I finally did in February, and man was it a great time to do this, fresh after seeing Battle Angel Alita.

This follows Domino, a bike racer, who is trying to make it big and qualify for the world circuit. However, to survive she needs Crash, an illegal substance that is used to fuel the bikes in this universe, but she needs to inhale it. Through the first volume we find out a bit about her mysterious past, her ex-girlfriend Lola, and a man who seems to either want to help her or kill her; all while she races to win the qualifications and the Crash.

This series was a fun, fast paced ride, but it’s not without its problems. The art is beautiful, but the story needs some more polishing; there’s too many plot threads and not enough time to develop them. I can’t imagine how things will resolve in the next volume after that climax, but I will definitely be continuing it; the world was gripping enough to have me enjoy it, and Domino was a character I definitely rooted for.

Umbrella Academy vol. 1 by Gerard Way (3 stars)

Since the show is all anyone talks about, I decided to finally start this series and boy is it cooky. We follow the Umbrella Academy, a group of 7, who were adopted by a crazy millionaire savant Reginald Hargreeves, after being born in a spontaneous event all over the world where 48 mothers gave birth. Hargreeves trains the kids to stop the apocalypse, and now 10 years after his death brings 6 of the 7 back to his house, unaware that the apocalypse is here; and it’s a direct consequence of their reunification.

There is a lot of good and a lot of weird in this series. The characters have glimpses of interesting personalities and the idea of 7 kids being raised from birth to be superheroes by a man who is a British version of Ra’s al Ghul is interesting. But unfortunately the series doesn’t fully explore this, and the ending is really abrupt. The humor is quirky, and sometimes it works, but more often it makes the tone weirdly uneven, as we swing from graphic, albeit cartoon violence to slapstick. I think the show does a much better job with the tone, and while this first volume gets a lot right, it’s by no means perfect.

Sadie by Courtney Summers (4 stars) 

This was by far the hardest book I’ve read in a long time. It’s a mystery that follows Sadie, a girl who disappears after her younger sister is brutally assaulted and murdered; and West McCray, a podcast host who is retracing her steps, trying to find her. It’s a book about grief, assault, pedophilia, violence and the lies we tell ourselves so we don’t have to think about what happens to girls in this world, and it’s dower, dreary and oh so real. It made me feel things I don’t normally do when I read, and if you can stomach the content, I recommend it. If you can, get the audiobook; it’s a full cast and the podcast bits are done like a real podcast, which makes the story feel that much more immersive.   

The Disasters by M K England (5 stars)

I needed something light and fun after the last two things I read in February, and this was the perfect way to end my month. This was my favorite book I read so far, maybe even more than the Gilded Wolves. It’s a sci-fi that follows a group of 4 rejects from Space Academy who have to work together to survive a terrorist attack, and prevent another one from happening. It’s fast paced, incredibly entertaining, and I fell in love with all the characters.

I absolutely cannot wait for whatever else M K England publishes, and I loved this to pieces.