#[ this starts out so full of hope and by the end it's just an existential crisis which honestly? on brand ]

[hauntingblue]

I have connected two dots... yamato kaido and momo (and kinda shirahoshi with her top) have clouds above their shoulders... and luffy in gear fourth has them also.... I can see the signs

[avalior]

CHARACTER PLAYLIST : MARKUS ZIEGLER

I. MEET ME ON THE BATTLEFIELD. | We carry on through the storm / tired soldiers in this war / remember what we're fighting for. / Meet me on the battlefield / even on the darkest night / I will be your sword and shield [...] echoes and the shots ring out / We may be first to fall / Everything can stay the same or we can change it all.

II. HEROES. | I see the fear rising / Yeah, but my hope is burning / The shadows are calling us out / We are heroes, heroes in the darkest times / when there is no light! / We are heroes, heroes in the darkest times / who will rise above!

III. CHANGE THE WORLD. | I want to change the world / Piercing through the gales, unafraid of anything, / Now I hold my courage and pieces of my smile / Change my mind / If we reach out to the soaring future / without losing our passion, we'll be able to shine [...] / I want to change the world / I won't hesitate again. If I can shape a future with you, / then I can fly anywhere. / Change my mind / I can spread my wings and fly towards the unknown future / without losing my passion.

IV. HEY BROTHER. | Hey, brother! / There's an endless road to rediscover. / Hey, sister! / Know that water's sweet but blood runs thicker. / Oh, if the sky comes falling down / for you / there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do.

V. GILDED LILY. | Haven't I given enough, given enough? / Haven't I given enough, given enough? / Haven't I given enough, given enough? / Haven't I given enough, given enough?

VI. VOGEL IM KÄFIG. | Alles Lebendige stirbt eines Tages / Ob wir zum Sterben bereit sind oder nicht / Der Tag kommt sicher / Ist das der Engel, der vom dämmernden Himmel hinunter flog? / Ist das der Teufel, der aus der Felsenspalte heraus kroch? / Tränen, Ärger, Mitleid, Grausamkeit / Frieden, Chaos, Glaube, Verrat / Wir werden gegen unser Schicksal ankämpfen / Wir dürfen uns nicht in unser Schicksal ergeben. / Mit Trauer und Entscheidung im Herzen / Zeigen wir den Willen weiterzugehen / Niemand darf eigensinnig seines Lebens beraubt werden.

Every living being dies someday / Whether we are ready to die or not / That day will surely come. / Is that an angel, flying down from the twilight sky? / Is that the devil, crawling out of the crevice? / Tears, anger, pity, cruelty / Peace, chaos, faith, betrayal / We will fight against our fate / We must not give in to our fate. / With sorrow and confidence in our hearts / We show the will to move on / No one shall be willfully deprived of their life.

VII. SEND ME AN ANGEL. | Wise man said, 'Just find your place / In the eye of the storm / Seek the roses along the way / Just beware of the thorns.' / Here I am! (Here I am!) / Will you send me an angel? / Here I am! (Here I am!) / In the land of the morning star. / [...] Hear this voice from deep inside / It's the call of your heart / Close your eyes and you will find / The way out of the dark. / Here I am! (Here I am!) / Will you send me an angel?

VIII. ENDLESS WAR. | You feel broken up / And the weight that you feel pulls you down / You can't let go! / You keep crawling on / Don't wanna let it go / So you keep holding on / To feel whole / 'Cause you're fighting an endless war / Hunting a miracle / And when you reach out for the stars / They just cut you down.

[bl00dw1tch]

depression will literally have you googling "i need something to hope for rn" 💀

[theemporium]

hi!! i have a potential blurb request - Oscar having that "oh my god i love her" moment with reader

ily and i hope you're doing well <33

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

It hit him at the most random, mundane moment—which was ironic, considering it completely turned his world around.

He was still fighting the lingering effects of jet lag when you invited him over to hang out. He knew Mark would have wanted him to be responsible, to sleep and not fuck up his sleep schedule any further. He was still getting used to how taxing the life of a Formula One driver was, and he underestimated how heavily travel and jet lag would play into that.

But it had been so long since he had seen you. And maybe it was guilt or maybe it was his own selfish desire, but he found himself throwing on a hoodie and sweatpants, grabbing his keys and heading to your place before the universe somehow stopped him. 

It was no different to the million other days you hung out together. Absolutely nothing different that he had come to expect in the last fifteen or so years you two had been friends. He showed up, knocked four times, waited for you to open the door and settled himself on his side of your coach whilst you did the same.

There was nothing special about the day, or the moment. But it still hit him like a freight train.

“Do you want popcorn? I got the salty flavour from that brand you like, the one that fits into your diet.” 

That was all you said. Twenty-one words that somehow managed to send the boy spiralling as he turned to gape at you, his body melted into the couch to the point he didn’t think he could get up if he tried. 

And there was you, sitting there as you smiled and waited for his response. You didn’t even look different, just lounging around in some shorts and a hoodie with his number on it. Your hair was a mess, you had even made a joke about it when he first came in. And the bags under your eyes told him your sleep schedule was probably as shit as his was right now, probably from staying up to watch the races. 

But, fuck, Oscar thought you looked so pretty. 

You had always looked pretty to him, but this was something else. This was a whole new level. This wasn’t just an appreciation of your looks, this was a full kick to the chest that screamed ‘oh shit, this isn’t platonic’. You just looked so cosy and comfortable and domestic, and Oscar could almost let himself imagine that this was a sight he got to see every day, that he got to wake up to, that he spent forever with. 

Because Oscar Piastri was in love with his best friend and he hadn’t even realised until now, until this very fucking moment. 

“Do you not want popcorn?” You asked, creases forming between your brows as you furrowed them together. He had the strongest urge to smooth the spot with his thumb.

“Uh no, yeah,” he cleared his throat and gave you a sleepy, slightly strained smile. “Popcorn sounds good.”

Your face brightened. “Good, I was gonna make it anyways.”

He watched as you stood from the couch, making your way towards your kitchen. He watched you walk away as his heart pounded in his chest, as he pressed the heel of his palm against his ribs like that would calm him down. He watched as you rambled on, oblivious to the existential crisis your best friend was experiencing. 

There was a voice in the back of his head telling him he should say something, that he should tell you how he feels. You two don’t lie to each other, or hold back on anything. He knew he should have told you. But that selfish desire returned and Oscar had the strongest urge to keep his mouth shut for one more night, to enjoy the rush of feelings overwhelming him until he had to tell you.

He couldn’t imagine a life without you, so he let himself have tonight just on the off chance his feelings were the start of the end of your friendship, just in case he lost you forever.

.

[oblique-lane]

hey since you’ve posted two pieces in a row about my boy Scout I was wondering if maybe you could write more your thoughts/your hcs about him? I think he’s really interesting and I don’t often see people realize that he’s more complex that what he seems, like this man just seems very sad inside. i really like your analyses and your takes are some of my favorites

hope you have a good day!

Appreciate it! Although I probably won't say anything particularly new... Okay, let's talk about Scout!

Though he no doubt wears the persona of a confident cool guy, protecting his ego from vulnerability, I wouldn't say there's sadness inside him. More accurate would be fear.

People with sadness baggage are pretty passive and quiet. And Scout's reaction is to hit, run, scare away, cling anxiously to the object of security. That's fear. He's fearful.

He doesn't think about it much, he's a pretty happy guy in the environment he's in. But if something makes him go off the rails and he starts, God forbid, thinking.....

His core fear is not living up to his place in the world. He knows there's a place for him, but for some reason he feels like people think he's not good enough to take it. Anyone better and stronger could take his place at any time. He's on bird's rights here.

Growing up with older brothers, being not good at school, being the smallest and youngest mercenary of the team, this feeling doesn't leave him ever. It's a tiresome inner struggle: "How do I make my stay secure?", "How do I become worthy?"

Falling into this cognitive trap of searching for self validation in the outside world instead of inside of himself, he was doomed to be stuck in ambivalence:

To continue to pretend, risking being exposed as an imposter, or to be sincere and inevitably endure the unbearable pain of rejection and loneliness?

He laughs and taunts and overexplains himself so much. He clings to the only thing he's better than everyone at. He overcompensates; he demands attention and tries to make himself bigger. He hates being alone as it basically feels like being actually pushed off his place in the world. He clings to people but immediately pushes them away for being too dangerously close to finding out his fears. He needs to be with everyone to know and to control what they think about him.

And it never makes him calm down anyway, since all those efforts take a lot of energy. Tiresome to be, tiresome to pretend. And the prize is nowhere near the sight.

This loop of pain will never end, unless he breaks the very core mindset of his. The answer is stepping into this fear, but he can't even think about it! It feels like death! His ego will die and it's going to feel like he's dying as a whole.

A full existential, primal fear of an child to be rejected by his parent. "Not worthy of living".

(Based on the Lise Bourbeau's model of 5 soul wounds: Abandonment)

[love-toxin]

Ellie what the fUCK ARE YOU DOING

Camboy Leon? Huh?? You’re gonna drop that and not elaborate? Didn’t realize you were such a PRUDE /j

I would pay so much money to see this guy’s onlyfans, it’s not even funny anymore

(It’s worth noting that I’ve been having an absolute existential crisis every time I think about dick. Leon’s dick would probably cure all of my chronic illness; both mental and physical)

stands over you menacingly :) camboy leon you shall have teehee <3 dare me to expand this into a full fic ehe

(cws: camboy!leon, masturbation, voyeurism, piercings, pining, work crushes)

Leon who works with you at the DSO and, for a special agent, seems pretty neutral. he's stoic but has that dry sense of humour you love, puffing out teasing comments here and there whenever he has the chance. he's admired by everyone but never has any girls on his arm, never dates, never does more than purse his lips in secrecy when the guys boast about their sexual exploits. but even so, his tight-lipped response to anything like that gives him more charm–up until people finally start letting it go in favour of bigger, juicier gossip. but you never do, because even though you're just an intern, you can only dream of what it would be like to have a man like Leon. scratch that, you really just want Leon, because he's the whole package in your eyes even though you can't imagine him ever even sparing you a glance.

but one day, months after the Graham rescue mission, your night gets a little….lonely. Leon's been the talk of the office for weeks since he got back, with everyone swapping stories about his exploits and feeding you so much delicious fodder for your wildest fantasies about your work crush–and one day, hoping to try and pry him off of your mind, you click around the web for a bit until you stumble across an explorer page for a new, adult website.

obviously the curiosity gets to you when you spot the directory of public users, each and every one offering "services" for interested viewers–and you scroll through it for quite a while, searching through the names and checking out a few clips until you come across one that really catches your eye.

blondie.scott → new video available!

his profile photo is cute–it's just a cropped photo of his fingers throwing up a peace sign, although it's positioned over his lap where you can clearly see a dark, thick outline in his light-coloured sweatpants. clicking over to his video list, you've got an impressive library to peek through of free videos he offers, with only a few at the top being locked behind a subscriber paywall. the first one you click on looks pretty tame, but even so it has you sweating as the video buffers and you nearly end up shutting it off completely.

but because you're just too curious, you wait for it to start. and when it does, you get an eyeful of this smooth-chested, rough-voiced, absolute adonis of a man touching himself while the camera records it all from the neck down. he grips his cock with tight, long strokes that feel so needy–and it's pretty too, thick and ruddy at the tip and always glistening as he rubs his precum up and down the shaft, occasionally swirling his thumb round the slit to draw a buck from his hips and a groan out of his throat. being shirtless as he does it with his boxers tucked up underneath his hips, your mouth goes dry at the sight of two shiny barbells of silver nestled by each of his plush nipples. piercings. whoever this guy is, he's bold. and he's just….to die for, c'mon. and you can't even get the image of him cumming out of your mind, the raspy whines as he cusses up a storm and the frantic twitches of his cock while it spurts rope after rope all over his hand…your sleep is restless that night, because every time you close your eyes you can only see that handsome stranger fucking his hand like you wish you could get fucked. it's been so long you feel like a virgin at this point.

after that first video, you're hooked. before you know it, you've made a habit of watching this blondie guy's videos and you look forward to cracking open your browser at the end of a long day, especially when things get extra hectic at the DSO. often you're stuck at your desk for long stretches of time then, and after awhile it becomes so routine you slip up a bit and watch some of his clips when you're left alone in the office, drowning in a sea of paperwork when it's late enough at night that nobody else would even consider coming by. it's pretty easy to cover up, but even still some of his videos just rile you up so much you end up leaving a wet, sticky spot in your chair that you're forced to scrub off before your coworkers come in the next morning.

that doesn't mean the site is erased from your computer, though. it doesn't mean it's not accessible just because you've got a passcode to unlock your desktop. and if a certain somebody–who knows your birthday and has a bit of a thing for you–were to take a peek and see what you've been busy watching…well, he'll be quite pleased that you've got such good taste. and maybe he'll make a video just for you, just to hint that he knows your little secret just like you know his.

[neil-gaiman]

Hi,

My name is Hayden and this is less an ask, more a rhetorical “how did you do this?!” and "this is really weird and cool please listen!" I'm not sure if you'll be interested but it's a very strange, very real story of coincidences melting my brain. I hope you find it as wonderful as it felt.

So last winter/spring I was in the last year of my undergrad degree in Twickenham. On the weekends I worked at a cocktail bar in the area -the Richmond, London area to be specific. During this time I started listening to The Sandman Audiobook on Audible. I’ve always wanted to read the graphic novel, I knew I’d like it, it’s exactly my type of fiction but something always stopped me a few pages in, I was enjoying it but it just wasn't going in (maybe it was my dyslexia or ADHD or the stress of 3rd year Uni). So I started listening to the Audiobook. It was amazing. It pulled me into the world immediately and I could listen when I while doing other things and still be engrossed. As a Creative Writing/Film student it inspired me, motivating me to write my dissertation, fueling my creativity. I would listen every spear chance I could, when I cleaned my room, as I did laundry, on my walks to lectures, on the bus to work...

I would even get to Richmond 30 minutes early so I could sit on the Green and listen for a little longer. On my breaks I would sit in the little office at the top of the building, eating my dinner at 11pm and listening to the tales of Dream of the endless. The bar was (and still is) on Brewers Lane, a narrow little cobbled-Alley that goes between Richmond Green and the high street. It's a beautiful, old bar, definitely haunted and full of memories, full of stories.

A few months later, I had finished the Audiobooks (the 2 that were out at the time), I no longer worked at the bar, I had graduated with a First Class Joint Honours. This is when The Sandman Series came out. I watch it and to my delight when it's good, more than good. The acting, production and characterisation were everything I could have wanted. I then get to Episode 6, The Sound of Her Wings. Adapted beautifully from the graphic novel. While I watch I start to recognise the environment Dream and Death were in, the park bench seemed familiar. I think "that's just London parks, they're all pretty much the same". Then the siblings start walking, and I start to recognise some landmarks of Twickenham, pubs by the river that were too expensive for me and my friends, old wisteria-covered streets I walked down with people I no longer talk to. I'm already thinking this is so cool, seeing Dream and Death walk around these places I spent the last 3 years of my life around.

Then they're back in the park. And I see it. no doubt. It's Richmond Green! The same place I would sit and listen to the audiobooks! the exact place I sat! daydreaming, people-watching and listening. Where I pictured these exact characters in my mind's eye. The embodiment of story and imagination was standing on the Green that I had imagined him on.

Dream and death say their goodbyes and I am full of wonder, disbelief and some other hard-to-define emotion. Dream walks away from his older sister. He enters an alley. No, a lane. He's walking down Brewers Lane. The Lane I worked on for a year. The Lane I sat above listening to Lord Morpheus in existential angst and now he was walking below it. Waking among the people. Walking past the shops I passed. At that moment I felt like I had willed him into existence. At this point, my mind was well and truly blown. Then he came to just outside the Bar, my Bar, and the scene ends. The scene ends at the very same place I would stand, at 2am, smoking with my friends after a hard shift, before we'd go back inside, and make each other the most extravagant drinks we could come up with and talk til 5am. Then stumble back to that spot, say our goodbyes and make our way home. And I had just seen Dream stand there.

I know this is all a coincidence, that Tom and Kirby aren't actually Dream and Death. I didn't actually will the TV series into the world. Lots of stuff is filmed in Richmond, it was probably filmed before I even worked there and I could have been listening to any audiobook at the time. It's not a magical occurrence, it's scratches on shiny metal, random and without meaning. But for that moment, watching that episode, You (and 50+ other people) held up a flame to the scratches, letting me see all the meaning and purposeful patterns I could ever want. And that's just a bit magical I think.

But yeah, I think it's pretty clear you've somehow gotten directly into my brain, Netflix knows something and the show was made specifically for me!

That's magic.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @thefreakandthehair! With thirty-nine works in the Steve/Eddie and Stranger Things tags on Archive of our Own!

In an underdogfics first, we have TWO nominators!

Our first nominator recommends the following works by @thefreakandthehair:

this is my month, I can feel it. october, baby!

never been afraid of any deviation.

scar-crossed lovers.

the answers are all inside of this.

Our second nominator, @sidekick-hero, recommends the following works by @thefreakandthehair:

over the hills and far away

meeting you was coming home.

make no plans and none can be broken.

rounding third, sliding home.

what's mine is yours (to leave or take)

Lex's brain is full of very creative scenarios, reading her writing is like reading an anthology of short stories but it's with all of your favorite characters! You get to see what they'd do in this AU or that AU, I love the exploration. It's like she's made a stew and it's simmering on the stove and you realize you're so hungry for stew as soon as you see it. <3 -- anonymous

Lex writes characters that come to life on the page while you're reading her stories. It makes it so easy to get invested in them, to feel with them and root for them to get their happy ending. She's one of these authors I would follow anywhere, any trope, any setting and universe, I am here for it. So I think more people should get to find her stories and be treated to the magic. -- @sidekick-hero

Below the cut, @thefreakandthehair answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

How can I possibly give just one reason! These two burrowed themselves into my brain like little gerbils with no hope of ever getting them out. I mean, was I supposed to hear ‘dontcha big boy?’ and be normal about it? But in all seriousness, they’re two sides of the same coin and those oppositions in character are super fun to play with!

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

It was tough to choose, but friends to lovers keeps coming up!

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

If I have to choose a particular trope, hurt/comfort would be the closest fit, but in the sense of healing past hurts together as a unit.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

This question sent me into an existential crisis and the best I could do is narrow it down to three, and even that was nearly impossible. In no particular order: We’ll Know For The First Time by KikiZ; carve your name into my chest by hexiewrites; and more recently, Among the Wildflowers by ParadimeShifts.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Rivals to Lovers in my football AU! I’ve been so excited to get moving on that one.

What is your writing process like?

Oh, I wish I had a better one. I start with a skeleton outline, pop on some music, and then pick and choose which part of the outline sparks joy in that moment. I rarely, if ever, write chronologically so I just write what feels good in the moment and then go back with a scalpel to create connective tissue.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Definitely writing out of order, I think! And if there’s one thing about me, it’s that someone is gonna have an introspective moment looking up at the stars. Someone told me it’s like my calling card and they’re not wrong.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I like a bit of both. I like to post on a schedule for multi-chapter fics but only after it’s either completely done or mostly done so that there’s no pressure to it.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Over The Hills And Far Away incorporated some personal bits of my past that were equal parts cathartic and difficult to write at times, so I’d have to say that one! It’s really satisfying to take experiences that you regret or that didn’t end the way you’d hoped and give them a different ending in fiction.

How did you get the idea for never been afraid of any deviation?

The Eddie Month prompt for that day! Me and my co-mod for the event, nostalgicbones, included Bad Reputation by Joan Jett as a prompt and as I was listening to it, it got me thinking about how Eddie is someone who cares for those in less than ideal situations— maybe even to the point of weaponizing his own bad reputation to protect someone. In this case, that was Steve!

When writing the answers are all inside of this, what was something you didn’t expect?

I didn’t expect it to become multiple chapters! That one is part of my So Much For Stardust series (that I haven’t forgotten about, I’ve just been busy with big bangs) so it was based on The Pink Seashell interlude from the album. I still don’t know exactly how a 1-minute interlude turned into a 15k multi-chapter fic, but it was super fun to let go off the rails!

What inspired scar-crossed lovers?

Also a So Much For Stardust series fic, the first one in the series, actually. I heard Heaven, Iowa for the first time and wrote this based on that song in a day. My brain just kept rotating it around like a rotisserie chicken until I wrote it.

What was your favorite part to write from scar-crossed lovers?

This is ironic because I’m not an angst-writer by nature, but writing about the slow deterioration of Eddie’s van as a symbol for the passage of time was really fun to do. Bittersweet, but it was one of those things that I didn’t realize I was doing until I was in the middle of it and once I realized, I just carried it throughout!

How do/did you feel writing never been afraid of any deviation.?

Excited! It was the first time that I wrote pre-s4 steddie (which is wild that in two years, I just wrote that for the first time last fall?) and it was so fun to do!

What was the most difficult part of writing the answers are all inside of this.?

Probably balancing the kids’ voices in the first chapter while still creating tension between Steve and Eddie.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

It isn’t one of the fics listed here, but in no better version I could pretend to be tonight, I loved writing the line “Something about Steve feels like home, and Eddie is only familiar with houses.” Hurt/comfort, my beloved.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I’m planning on taking a break from big bangs for a bit to focus on some super neglected WIPs, so there are a few upcoming fics I’m excited about! My Football AU, an ASMR Artist!Eddie x Insomniac!Steve AU, and I’m working on a fic called Pickup Note with sidekick-hero and firefly-party that I cannot wait to dive into fully.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Just thank you so much for all that you do with this blog! The ship truly exploded overnight and there are so many incredible stories that I’ve completely missed just because they’ve fallen through the cracks. I really appreciate what you’re doing here and the undertaking that it’s been!

Thank you to our author, @thefreakandthehair, and our nominators, anonymous and @sidekick-hero! See more of @thefreakandthehair works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[thehopefuljournalist]

unrelated- what's your favorite news story recently?

Hello, thank you so much for asking!! I've had a hard time because this week was actually full of news stories and I'm working on releasing them all to you guys!

But let me tell you about my favourite one from today :)

As an activist, working within my own country and out especially in climate-related themes, I believe in people-power, fully. I know, of course, that some people have more power and influence than others, but there's no denying that there's strength in numbers.

This recent, huge, protest in New York is such a hopeful turn, I think. I love seeing that I'm not the only one worried, that I'm not alone in my fighting. With numbers, we have a bigger chance of winning over our world leaders, and by doing that, to protect ourselves and our futures.

Well, this is my favourite news story from the past two days.

This past Sunday, 75K climate activists took to New York's streets in a “march to end fossil fuels”

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez criticized the US continuing to approve fossil fuel projects, something which the Biden administration did earlier this year with the controversial Willow project in Alaska.

“We are all here for one reason: to end fossil fuels around the planet,” Ocasio-Cortez told a rally at the finish of the march, which ended close to the UN headquarters where world leaders will gather this week. “And the way we create urgency is to have people around the world in the streets.”

“The United States continues to be approving a record number of fossil fuel leases and we must send a message, right here today,” adding that despite record profits the support for the fossil fuel industry was “starting to buckle and crack”.

“This is an incredible moment,” said Jean Su of the Center for Biological Diversity, who helped organize the mobilization. “Tens of thousands of people are marching in the streets of New York because they want climate action,"

“This also shows the tremendous grit and fight of the people, especially youth and communities living at the frontlines of fossil fuel violence, to fight back and demand change for the future they have every right to lead,” she said.

The march came during Climate Week, as world leaders gather for this week’s UN general assembly, and a UN climate ambition summit on Wednesday.

On Friday, the national security adviser, Jake Sullivan, said Biden was not currently scheduled to take part in Wednesday’s UN climate summit. Biden has been praised by climate activists for last year passing a historic $369bn climate law but criticized for allowing oil drilling projects and the expansion of gas facilities in the Gulf of Mexico.

A decision for Biden to stay away from the UN climate ambition summit is “unacceptable”, said Su of the Center for Biological Diversity. “The time is now for Biden to lead on the world stage, and show he means it when he calls climate change the existential threat to humanity.”

During the march, the Rev Lennox Yearwood, head of the Hip Hop Caucus, likened today’s climate movement to the US fight for racial justice. 

Youth climate activist Vanessa Nakate, from Uganda, said: “When we say that we want climate justice, we’re not just talking about transitioning to solar panels. We are talking about leaving no one behind when you’re talking about addressing the injustices that come with the climate crisis."

Article published September 17, 2023 - The Gaurdian

Another article, interviewing a young climate activist

[draco-after-dark]

What were the brothers, Poppy and Viva’s reactions to feral JD?

SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

I got distracted, then forgor, then relized i have to rewrite this whole things because now i'm atcually writing the story and have new ideas/reactions for them

also some of these are gonna be short because spoilers so i guess wait for each brother chapter to get the full picture sorry

Floyd

okay Floyd is the most caring out of all the brothers. cant tell me this boy isn't wholesome as shit. That and he would go to the end of the world and back to keep his brothers together.

despite not really knowing what's really happened to JD (basically the whole feral behavior) He's the most willing to be near or around JD reguardless of how terrifying he might seem.

He's still his brother and that doesn't change even if he's entirely different now. Floyd wants to get to know his older brother none the less.

Very gentle and calm well JD is around, he knows JD won't hurt him no matter what his brothers say

gentle touches and pats till JD grows more comfortable with being around trolls again.

very carful because he known the whole draining thing took a lot of of the two of them

Branch

A lot of mixed feelings. He's mad, concerned, scared (for both himself and the trolls around JD because of how unpredictable he is) but he also understands the most clearly what JD could have been put through to turnout like this. (mainly the greyness big oof)

He's still mad at JD but he's also the first one to start really questioning and trying to figure out how he came to be like this.

also research go brrrrrrrr mans ate the entirety of the wildlife section of the library to better understand JD

feels weirdly connected to him because he also lived along for years

Also realizes that he could have turned Feral like JD so has a mini existential crisis about that

Bruce

he sad and also concerned and confused

Doesn't really know what to do

Tries to go dad mode but then realizes he doesn't know what to do so he just kinda stands there with a blank expressing and hands on his hips like "well shit."

Clay

scared, he is so terrified of JD you have no idea

anxiety go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Clay nervousness makes JD nervous which is a bad thing for both parties

So Clay runs away

JD standing in the distance

Clay "He's just standing there MENACINGLY!"

Poppy

Do her damned-est to help Branch anyway she can weather that be researching or asking other Trolls, even kingdoms if they've ever had a similar occurrence (she keeps it discreet though out of respect for the brothers)

She is concerned for Branch (the other too ofc) but knows that this is something the brother have to figure on their own.

number one moral support

Makes a scrapbook based on Floyd's description of JD since he's been the closest to him so the other brothers can see JD

Viva

More chill then Poppy but still greatly concerned for the brothers (mainly Clay)

Talks to him about the whole thing so he can vent

Poppy and her also talk to each other about it all well making scrapbooks (Viva helps poppy with making the JD pictures as close to Floyd description as possible)

anyway hope this answers you question enough for now till i get more story written!

[relatableblorbopoll]

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 16

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

Propaganda under the cut

Parker (Leverage)

"Some of the weird things she says are so true. Like when she talks about past/present/future parker. Her joy at the things that she loves is so complete. Christmas every year! I too have the urge to stab people with forks when in uncomfortable social situations. And it was great when she made her security code to her…home…Sophie’s real name because it was representative of where trust stood in the team after the prison break. Oh! And her and Alec are total couple goals. (Thruple goals if you add in Elliot)"

Gudetama (Sanrio)

"A lazy egg who really doesn't want to do much of anything and would rather just go back to sleep"

Finn the Human (Adventure Time)

"finn is just a little guy doing his best and trying to help people! he's the only human in the show so he's just like us fr (the entire human race) and he starts off the series as a kid and grows up during it so he really goes through all the relatable ups and downs and friendships and relationships and mistakes and achievements that we all go through. he does a lot of idolising people and having to realise they're not what he told himself they were. sometimes he tries to distract himself from an existential crisis by running around yelling or stabbing things with a sword. relatable"

Rain O'Fire Frazier (Worm)

"Rain grew up in a conservative community that he didn't want to be part of, and rejected their regressive ideology in favor of surrounding himself with people who have gender vibes, mental health issues, and traumas of their own. Also, people give him all sorts of crap in the setting, and while he does fuck up sometimes, he's just a swell dude who's hoping to not get murdered by crazy people. Times being what they are, I think that that's something a lot of people can relate to."

Piper Mclean (Heroes of the Olympus)

"she's SO full of love!!! she loves everyone so strongly!! she has a complicated relationship with femininity, gender and beauty standards. she bullies her friends but would go down fighting for them if needed. she acts out to get her dad's attention. she believes in a balance between emotions and logic, and is not afraid to tell her friends if she thinks they're neglecting the emotional side of a problem."

Norma Khan (Dead End Paranormal Park)

"She is autistic and struggles with socialising (same) She has special interests that she will bring up at any opportunity. She can get overwhelemed and scared being in the world. Norma is also bisexual! She spends her time in a Pauline Phoneix theme park (one of her spins) and fighting demons and ghosts (another special interest). Vote Norma today!!"

"She goes through so many relatable experiences that I rarely see depicted and is just overall an excellent character. The third episode of the show has the most relatable depiction of anxiety I've ever seen (especially the intersection between social anxiety and autistic sensory overload). It's one of those episodes where each character has to face their worst fears, and with how those episodes usually go, I expected her to overcome her fears at the end of the episode and just not have them anymore. Instead, she overloads the villain by having too much fear for him to handle since she has to constantly face her greatest fears as part of her everyday life. The protagonist also acknowledges how much more severe her fear is compared to most other people, which is pretty validating. Her special interest is an actress who turns out to be a really shady person, and she has a lot of trouble processing this because it was so close to her heart. She even gets a musical number about it! I've never seen this particular experience depicted in fiction, but it's one that is sadly pretty relatable to me and probably a lot of other people on here. She also has a plot where she is rejected romantically by a straight friend, which is kinda nice to see (even if it's not nice for poor Norma) since even though this is a really common experience IRL I rarely see it explored in fiction. And she's just really funny and smart and a great character in general!"

[hyunverse]

you're the only friends i need ♡⸝⸝ hyunjin, seungmin, felix

best friend!hyunjin, felix, seungmin && reader.

genre — fluff, drabble, platonic.

note — decided to make this a continuation of my oneshot, "midnight existential crisis." hope u don't mind anonnie!! if u want a redo then just lmk <3 idm, i love writing best friend!skz content. anyway, listen to ribs by lorde for ultimate feels.

laughters bounce off the apartment walls, smiles radiating as shiny as the night stars. you're so happy, yet you feel like you're going to cry. there's nothing as bittersweet as graduating.

"do you think they'll realize that 4 robes and caps are missing?" felix questions, gulping down his saliva.

in order to celebrate the four of you graduating from university, seungmin had suggested to flee from the ceremony while still wearing the robes and caps. he claimed that after paying thousands for the sake of education, the four of you deserve to at least steal the robes. hyunjin and you had always been the easily swayed type, so you had no problem going through with the plan. felix mentioned the guilt he would feel, how stealing is immoral — but he agreed, anyway. it's the power of peer pressure.

hyunjin pats his shoulder, "it's fine, lix. we'll return it tomorrow, okay? we'll say that we genuinely forgot."

“and lie? hell no,” felix defends, eyebrows cutely furrowed.

seungmin rolls his eyes. it’s constantly like this — convincing felix to do things that aren’t very. . . morally correct would take quite a while. it almost always works though.

“yongbok,” seungmin says, “guess what else is a lie? your life. you’re still living it though, so just calm down.”

upon seungmin’s remarks, felix lets out a huff. fighting with seungmin is like pouring water onto an umbrella — useless. the boy’s head is filled with comebacks.

you shake your head at their shenanigans, “let’s just take pictures.”

flashes fill the apartment, along with giggles. it’s all fun and games, basking in the company of each other. for the last few months the house hasn’t been full with noises — everyone too occupied with their own studies. for the first time in a while, everyone gets to be at the same place at the same time. you could feel the void in your heart getting full again at seungmin’s out of pocket comments, hyunjin’s enthusiastic claps and felix constantly hugging you.

before you know it, a carton of apple juice is being carried to your makeshift photo booth (which is just a white cloth being hung im your living room, and a tall wooden stool. hyunjin claims that it’s rustic and vintage, perfect for polaroids.)

“time for a toast, time for a toast!” felix exclaims, pouring the juice in shot glasses.

“seriously? apple juice? have we gone too broke to afford alcohol?” seungmin pipes.

you smack the back of his head, causing the graduation cap to fall off. the boy rubs his head, sending glares towards your way.

hyunjin clicks his tongue, “let’s not get drunk on graduation night, seungmo, i don’t want to forget such an important night.”

“okay go off i guess, hopeless romantic.”

hyunjin rolls his eyes and helps felix pass around the shot glasses.

“okay,” felix clears his throat, “who wants to start the toast?”

“me,” seungmin raises his hand, “cause if y/n or hyunjin starts, it’ll be sappy too early.”

the oldest boy scoffs, side-eyeing the youngest. it’s a surprise all of you survived three years of seungmin’s brutal remarks. it’s also a surprise that after all those words, none of you have grown immune to them. always caught off guard.

“just start your speech already!” an australian accent replies.

“okay fine,” the raven head gives in, “fuck university. shake ass, get that money!”

laughters erupt in the atmosphere, started by hyunjin’s wheezes.

the night goes on, chaos enveloping the four of you. what started with a playful pillow fight ended up with you and felix on the floor, wailing.

“it’s just,” felix sniffles — at this point, it seems like he’s drunk on apple juice — perhaps the placebo effect truly works, “no more university means childhood is over. we’re adults now. adults!”

seungmin’s eyebrows start to furrow. his pink lips part to say something about childhood ending the moment you graduated high school, but hyunjin’s elbow digging into his waist stops him.

you vigorously nod at felix’ word — it takes all of seungmin to not say anything, “you’re so right lix, it’s scary, isn’t it. we might have to pay taxes soon.”

“no! not taxes. that’s too grown up,” felix wails again.

once again, seungmin wants to say that they already pay service taxes everyday, and once again, hyunjin elbows him.

“oh my god. that means we won’t have to fight each other over who gets the bathroom first because we don’t have 8 in the morning classes anymore,” you sigh out in realization.

felix’ eyes couldn’t be wider.

“fuck. you’re telling me i won’t hear hyunjin’s hair dryer at seven fucking a.m anymore?”

behind the calm facade, both hyunjin and seungmin suddenly feel heavy. as if all that realization just dawned upon them — and it really did just click into hyunjin’s head. being an interior design major, he out of all people was the most eager to leave university. now, it doesn’t feel as sweet anymore — merely bittersweet, as bittersweet as the latte he’d drink every other night to survive in his course.

hyunjin holds back a gasp. seeing both you and felix break down is enough. he needed to be the strong one in that situation, so he sits and watches the two of you converse.

“i’m going to miss this phase so much,” you say between sniffles.

“yeah, me too,” hyunjin adds before placing a chaste kiss at the top of your head.

just like that, a crying session begins. at the end of the night, hyunjin has to carry you bridal - style, while felix practically begs seungmin to give him a piggy back ride (and makes seungmin promise to return the robes and caps the first thing in the morning.)

“god, god, god,” you mumble — a prayer.

yet, no matter how many times you stare at the numbers displayed on the online banking application, it won’t change. two digits (the first beginning with a one) stare back at you, mockingly. like you’re the biggest loser in the world. honestly? at the moment, you feel like you are.

“calm down y/n,” hyunjin comforts. his voice is softer than usual, like a lyrebird imitating the sound of love.

“i can’t,” you breathe out, tears pricking at the side of your eyes, “i’m officially broke. and jobless.”

your phone sounds a soft thud when you toss it onto the bed. the bed dips once you jump onto it, where hyunjin is waiting with open arms. his arms and chest are inviting — wide and warm, ready for you to bury your face into and cry. seungmin quietly sits beside you.

"you'll be okay," hyunjin comforts, pulling you into his arms, "things will turn out okay."

seungmin nods, large hand rubbing your back. you don't have any energy besides to sniffle and shake your head.

"it won't be okay," you cry out, "i've sent so many resumes but none of them emailed me back."

"and that's okay, y/n, we'll help you with that. seungmin will help you write more resumes, i'll design them and felix will be there to hug you everytime you're stressed. we're here for you, promise. just hold on."

seungmin excessively nods again, "yeah. jinnie's right."

you lift up your face to meet hyunjin's, eyes teary and nose all snotty, "it feels like i'm being too dependent on you guys."

hyunjin clicks his tongue, "not at all lovely, you've been so independent this whole year. sometimes we all need help."

a frown is plastered across seungmin's face the moment he spots more tears running across your face. using his sleeve, he wipes the tears. it doesn't matter that your eyes are constantly leaking water — he's willing to wipe the tears over and over again.

"i'm literally broke guys, seriously," your heart feels so heavy — it could burst, "i don't think i have enough money for next month's rent. i think i'll stay at my family's . . . maybe it's about time."

"no!" hyunjin slightly raises his voice in panic, "it's fine. stay. i have some money from work, seungmin does too. . . felix seem to have a stable job. we can more than support you for a couple months. "

it's your turn to say no.

"can't do that jinnie. . . don't have the heart to. you're freelancing, it's not always stable, seungmin's tutoring multiple kids a day just to get by, and felix works too hard for me to let him support me. i can't do that to you guys, it's wrong. but thank you, seriously."

"we really don't mind, y/n," seungmin speaks up, "it'll only be temporary anyway, at least until you're all set up. i don't mind tutoring extra people for you, and i know felix won't mind, he'd insist on helping out."

speak of the devil — felix walks into the bedroom. hair messy, and a pout plastered across his freckled face.

"lix?" hyunjin raises an eyebrow, "what's up?"

the question has felix' lips quivering, like he had been holding onto one straw the whole day. frankly speaking, he had been.

"fucked up so bad," felix mutters, plopping down on the bed beside your figure, "fucked up a cake and it was literally today's special."

you frown, "c'mere lix, it's okay."

"i don't feel like it's okay. feels like i'll lose my job after only a week."

"don't say that," hyunjin cooes, "you're an amazing baker. they won't dare to fire you."

felix merely shrugs, too tired to even function. the four of you end up staring at the ceiling. seungmin soothingly traces his pointer on your arm and it leaves goosebumps in its wake. it's his silent way of telling you that he cares.

"you okay, lix?" you quietly ask.

"yeah. you?"

"jobless and going broke, but i think i'll be fine."

"ah," felix sighs, "i'm here for you, okay?"

the duvet shuffles when felix turns his body to face you. you reciprocate, scrunching your nose when you feel his finger tap on it.

"you're not alone in this, you know? don't be scared to ask for help sometimes."

"thank you, lixie, really. i feel like i owe you guys so much."

hyunjin shakes his head, "nonsense. you're our best friend. we're always here for you."

seungmin nods in agreement, "if you don't want to accept us supporting you financially for a while, then perhaps you'd like to tutor as well? i know some kids who need help with the subjects you're good at."

your heart goes warm at their remarks, feeling nothing but grateful for your best friends. they're always there for you — for all the times you've leaped out of joy, the breakdowns after break ups, the grieving over a dead fictional character — they've been there for everything. you couldn't ask for better friends.

"thanks, guys."

taglist (send an ask to be added) — @zoe8stay

[xwhitenoise]

obsessed with how richard siken has recycled some lines from older works and given them new life later on.

like

"I float too much to wander, like you, in the real world. I envy it but that’s the dealio—you’re a train and I’m a trainstation and when I try to guess your trajectory I end up telling my own story." ("The Long and Short of It," 2002)

vs.

"All day the snow falls down, all night the snow. I try to guess your trajectory and end up telling my own story. We left footprints in the slush of ourselves, getting out of there." ("Landscape with Black Coats in Snow," 2015)

--

"Here is a place for it to happen. A place where I can love you. The letter delivered, the year decembered, the river swum." ("The Long and Short of It," 2002)

vs.

"I'll give you my heart to make a place for it to happen, evidence of a love that transcends hunger." ("Snow and Dirty Rain," 2005)

--

(more tucked away under the cut because boy oh boy!)

"He could build a city, has a certain capacity, makes a little bird and then they say it's not a bird and he says Okay, it's not a bird and he and the bird just laugh. I could be talking about anyone." ("Ornithopter," 2001)

vs.

"He could build a city. Has a certain capacity. There’s a niche in his chest where a heart would fit perfectly and he thinks if he could just maneuver one into place — well then, game over." ("Road Music," 2005)

--

"History repeats itself. Somebody says this. History throws its shadow over the beginning, over the desktop, over the sock drawer with its socks, its hidden letters, its bottle of gin. History is blue. History is a little man in a brown suit trying to describe a room he is outside of. History says So, we meet again. History says Let me tell you just a few things, maybe. I know history. There are many names in history but none of them are ours." ("Ornithopter," 2001)

vs.

"History repeats itself. Somebody says this. History throws its shadow over the beginning, over the desktop, over the sock drawer with its socks, its hidden letters. History is a little man in a brown suit trying to define a room he is outside of. I know history. There are many names in history but none of them are ours." ("Little Beast," 2005)

--

"Like Hansel, we'd like a map, some landmarks, a trail away from doom, more knots in the rope, a ratchet that catches and holds so we don't have to start from scratch each time we want to rise from the floor." ("Ornithopter," 2001)

vs.

"Drew and I are still Hansels lost in the woods, looking for maps, looking for a trail away from doom, but we did what we could for as long as we could." ("Six Point Goodbye," 2007)

vs.

"Together we trace out the trail away from doom. There isn’t hope, there is a trail. I follow you." ("War of the Foxes," 2015)

--

"There are so many things I'm not allowed to tell you. I touch myself, I dream." ("Dirty Valentine," 2005)

vs.

"There are so many things I’m not allowed to tell you. That’s another reason I’m a liar. And a poet. And very good at my job." ("The Ethics of the Taxonomy," 2006)

--

"Another friend says the local body is a fallacy. Yet another friend says Aw sweetie, you have your own body so you can do what you want without me." ("Love from a Distance," 2001)

vs.

"His insides and his outsides kept apart with an imaginary line— thick and rude and imaginary because there is no separation, fallacy of the local body, paint on paint. I have my body and you have yours. Believe it if you can. Negative space is silly." ("The Way the Light Reflects," 2005)

--

"Why make a map? Why do anything at all? Not how, because hows are easy, series or sequence, one foot after the other, but existentially why bother, what does it solve?" ("The Definitive Version," 2006)

vs.

"Why paint a bird? Why do anything at all? Not how, because hows are easy—series or sequence, one foot after the other—but existentially why bother, what does it solve?" ("The Language of Birds," 2015)

--

"Fact is, the world is full of things that are trying to kill you. We do not walk through a passive landscape and sometimes you need a map to find the food, the hiding places." ("The Definitive Version," 2006)

vs.

"Can we love nature for what it really is: predatory? We do not walk through a passive landscape. The paint dries eventually." ("Landscape with Fruit Rot and Millipede," 2015)

--

"If we wanted to tell you everything, we would leave more footprints in the snow or kiss you harder." ("You Are Jeff," 2006)

vs.

"So here’s the open window where we pranced around and did our tricks and left these footprints in the snow, performing in this puppet show." ("Close Parenthesis," 2007)

--

"There are two birds in your head, raven and crow, and only one of them is yours." ("Black Telephone," 2001)

vs.

"A man had two birds in his head—not in his throat, not in his chest—and the birds would sing all day never stopping. The man thought to himself, One of these birds is not my bird. The birds agreed." ("The Language of Birds," 2015)

[dinsdjrn]

i'll be gone, you'll be gone | j. miller | 2.1k

part of: devils we know

joel miller x f!reader

summary: part of 'devils we know': a series of stand-alones | a close call sends joel into a spiral, a hard conversation leaves everything on the table. [wc: 2.1k]

content warnings: 18+, mature themes, angst adjacent, hurt/comfort, talks of death, anxious!joel, (minor) injury, existentialism, poorly written/poorly edited.

timeline order | previous part | next part

💌 a/n: oh you wanted me to throw you right into a turning point in their relationship... here we are! tysm for all the love and support on this series. as always follows the same reader and joel through the pivotal points in their relationship, but can be read as a standalone. inspo: 'If We Were Vampires' by Jason Isbell

The fragile heart you protected for so long

Or the mercy in your sense of right and wrong

Hope is fragile and needs to be nurtured. It can heal all wounds and tear them open anew. Hope isn’t something that is far and few between, if it was, you wouldn’t be here. For a long time is was masked as the fear of death, but it forced you to survive. Now, it is the driving force that keeps you alive, hope that you’ll live to see the day the world finds itself again. 

Hope breeds love and gentleness in an unforgiving world. Hope is something you found in Joel and Joel found in Ellie. You had so much love and hope for your little family you had formed. For the first time in years real joy, love, promise of a future and a family healed your wounded soul. 

You had only just begun building this domestic life with Joel and Ellie in Jackson. You weren’t in the dark to the hardships they had faced, but you accepted that you may never know all the details. Everyone in Jackson knows loss, but they’ve also learned how to heal. To start again. 

You and Joel were immediately drawn to one another, you knew it as soon as he took residence in Jackson. At first, you hesitated to accept his affections; having gone through so much to get to Jackson. You had a fragile heart you spent years learning how to protect. Slowly, piece by piece, Joel brought your walls down. You healed each other in places you didn’t know were broken. 

You and Joel had been together, officially, for a few months. You kept each other warm through the early spring and summer had finally settled on Jackson. The days were hot and long but as the sun set and a warmth clung in the air not willing to let go of the heat of the day, you felt comfort and peace. 

Today was not like any other day you had in a long time. Today scared you, today reminded you how fleeting time is and how careful you have to be. 

Maybe time running out is a gift

I'll work hard 'til the end of my shift

And give you every second I can find

“Joel… please, I am fine.” You huffed as he began fussing to the medic. 

“Ending up here means you were not okay!” He rubbed his hand across his chin and sighed. 

He stopped pacing and sat next to you putting his hands in yours. 

“It’s just when they said they were bringing you back to medical, I didn’t-“ he paused, “I didn’t know if you were going to be okay. I was just scared I was goin’ to lose you too.”

You sighed at his reaction. You knew going to the medical centre would cause Joel to have a full on panic, but it was procedure. 

You were never one to go one patrol, you were comfortable with it, but you were usually stationed in the barn. Horses are what you knew best before the outbreak and arriving in Jackson it was your biggest asset. This was supposed to be a safe perimeter patrol so you could monitor the progress of a gelding recovering from lameness due to cellulitis around his coffin joint.

It was supposed to be simple; go out for the morning patrol, get the horse, Blues, to do more than loping and trotting. Go home and assess the next steps. Instead you, of course, went on a patrol that had the first sign of intrusion in months. Across the river a gunshot rang out agitating Blues. You did your best to calm him down and get him to relax, but as soon as the second shot rang closer he threw you from his back. You had been on top of a fairly rocky hill and Blues wasn’t by any means a small horse. When you fell you landed on your back and hit your head in the process. 

The members of your patrol immediately came to your aid and you had been slightly confused. You swore to them you were okay once you had come to, but procedure required you ride back and get checked by medical. One patrol member, Derek, returned you and Blues to Jackson while the others went to find the source of the gunshots. You knew this is what you had to do. Head injuries were no joke, and it was better to be safe, you would just have to talk Joel down. Calm the storm that would fester and make home to his anxiety.

You don’t blame him, he was scared of losing people he cared about. His own memories often betrayed him, assuming the worst was his only way to cope. 

“Joel, I need you to look at me,” You spoke softly. 

He slowly raised his head, eyes meeting yours. 

You reached and softly touched his cheek, he leaned into your touch.

“I am okay, I fell. A few bumps and bruises, but I’ll be perfectly fine in a few days.” You gave him a soft smile. 

This side of Joel was rare for anyone but you and Ellie. He was closed off and cold until he let you in. Once you were in there was no part of your soul he didn’t take up residence. He was a good man, a great father and a survivor above all else. 

“Can we get outta here? I can’t fuckin’ breathe.” He was gruff again as soon as the medic came in. 

“Yeah, of course,” the medic, Jane, replied. “Just take it easy alright? You’re gonna feel like shit tomorrow.” 

“Thanks,” You smiled. You had already felt extremely sore and you were not looking forward to having to wake up every few hours throughout the night. 

With his hand in yours you left the medical centre and made you way to the barn. All you wanted to do was lay down, but you knew you had to talk to Joel. Make sure he was okay. 

It's not the way you talk me off the roof

Your questions like directions to the truth

“Joel, you alright?” You asked taking a seat on the steps that led to your little dwelling unit. 

He gave you a small smile and stood in front of you. It was early afternoon at this point and he looked exhausted. You’re sure waves of anxiety were hitting him over and over again. He was just trying to keep his head above water. 

“Joel..” You pressed on. Bringing him out of his thoughts and back to you.

“You don’t understand. I told them you didn’t need to go on patrol.” He sounded frustrated. 

“Hey,” you whispered, “It wasn’t up to you. And I’m still right here.” 

“But what if one day you’re not?” His voice broke.

His pain evident on his face, he was reliving every loss he has ever experienced. From Sarah, to Tess, being in arms length of losing Ellie. You could see that his mind was sinking letting the ‘what if’s?’ win.

“Then I would have fallen to the curse of living, just like everybody else. It’s okay to be scared, I’m terrified. Everyday I wake up and take breath not knowing what’s going to happen next, and that makes life so beautiful. Not knowing how brief my time will be.”

Your voice quieted to a whisper

“There’s not enough time in the world for me and you, Joel. Today just gave us a taste of that. So, let’s go lay down. Hold me and don’t let me go, okay?”

For a moment you saw his features relax. He nodded, needing rest equally as much as you. 

It's not your hands searching slow in the dark

Or your nails leaving love's watermark

By the time you had woken up the sun peeking in through the window had turned gold and you knew it was the early hours of the evening. Joels arm was draped over you, your back pressing into him, using his arm as a pillow. He was drawing a pattern on your bicep and you sighed softly. 

“I’m sorry, darlin’,” he whispered kissing you on the forehead. 

“There is nothing to be sorry for, Joel,” you voice still rasped with sleep. 

He hummed at you. You stretched your shoulders slightly and began to sit up. Your bladder betraying a slow evening in bed with Joel. 

When you had finished in the bathroom, you noticed Joel had moved to the couch. There was a small cloth wrapping on the table. 

“What’s that?” You asked.

“Take a look,” He nodded toward the item. 

You picked it up and placed in in your lap as you sat next to Joel. His arm reached around your shoulders. The other resting on a throw pillow. His leg was crossed over his knee. He looked much more relaxed than he had earlier when he was on the edge of full blow panic. 

You began to unfold the small towel that wrapped the present. It revealed a large golden tulip claw clip. It had clearly been quite the piece in its prime, the pink of the tulip had since faded. The spring and some of the fake gold had rusted, but it was one of the most beautiful things you had ever seen. You felt your heart swell and tears began to well in your eyes. 

“Oh Joel,” your voice soft. “It’s so beautiful.” 

“I’ve, uh, been holding onto that for a few weeks. You said tulips were your favourite. Felt like the right time to give it to you.”

You leaned over and kissed him softly and slowly. You had no idea he hung onto your favourite flower. You had mentioned it once earlier in the spring. You had said they were your favourite because they were the first flower to both come and go. There was beauty in their brevity. You never expected Joel to remember such a small detail. Yet here you were, with a tulip clip in hand and a man you were certain you loved beside you. 

If we were vampires and death was a joke

We'd go out on the sidewalk and smoke

And laugh at all the lovers and their plans

“Hey, I have a question for you?” He asked. 

“Yeah, shoot.” You shot him a slightly confused glance. 

“Are you scared to die?” He asked softly, as if his words would send a dagger through you. 

“Of course, Joel.” You started. “I’m sorry if I made you believe otherwise.” 

“It’s just…” He shifted uncomfortably. “You didn’t seem scared earlier, and I’m fucking terrified.” 

“Well, it just,” You sighed trying to find the right words. “We don’t get forever, Joel. If we did we’d be less inclined to love so fiercely.”

You studied him, expression softening at your confession. He looked at you expectantly as if to carry-on with your train of thought. 

I hope it isn't me who's left behind

It's knowing that this can't go on forever

Likely one of us will have to spend some days alone

“Am I scared to die? Of course, I’m terrified. But to know that our time together is finite, and yet we will still choose and love each other, that makes it worth living. I will die knowing how fully I lived my life. God, I hope that it isn’t any time soon, but if it is, I was loved.”

He sighed, “I just hope I wouldn’t get left behind.” 

You smiled softly, the room had grown darker, and with it Joels features softer. 

“Just know that… that, I love you,” You admitted. 

“Always.” He hadn’t said it back. 

It squeezed at your heart that he hadn’t said he loved you in return. It would make it all too real for him. Today had already done that, in due time, he would find the courage. For now, his concern and need to be close to you would have to be enough to satisfy. There was more ways to love than words, and you had learned that with Joel. 

You kissed him softly, your lips brushing his. He took your face in his hands and put everything he couldn’t bring himself to say into the kiss you shared. He needed this to be enough for you, his desperation was present in the way his lips moved against yours. Any hope that he had for you two was carefully placed in this moment, and you felt it. 

You broke apart foreheads resting on one another. The space between you full of all the words you couldn’t bring yourselves to speak. 

It was enough for you to hope.

Maybe we'll get forty years together

But one day I'll be gone

One day you'll be gone. 

comments, feedback and rbs are so appreciated 🥺❤️

tags: @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @quality-lust @tieronecrush @beskarandblasters @pedritosdarling @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @ilovepedro @sofiparallel @happinessinthebeing @aestheticangel612 @javierpenasimp @brie-annwyl @stupidthoughtsinwriting @evyiione @cambleuu @laysmt @imonmykneessir @wand-erer5 @orcasoul @chibimosa @maviee @midgetpottermills @steveharringtonswh0re @scoliobean @tightjeansjavi @pedgeitopascalreads @joelsversion @undrthelights

[toothedmammal]

Just got done watching Pluto (2023) and I got thoughts about them

For context, Pluto is an retelling of the Astro Boy arc "The Greatest Robot in the World" redone as a murder mystery/political intrigue type story, I feel like it did a really cool job trying imagine the sort of social and emotional things that would happen if humans really did share a world with sentient robots. Like it's very clear from the get go that robots in this world are capable of feeling emotions, even if the many of the humans they live with don't know or acknowledge that fact. I really like the way that Asmov's first law of robotics was implemented and interrogated, I really like how there were so many characters with unmoving faces yet still their emotions were conveyed by the dialogue and framing of the scene, theres a lot I like about Pluto and id highly recommend checking it out if you're into animation or sci-fi or robot stories!

...that being said, im not sure how familiar you need to be with the OG Astro Boy lore and worldbuilding for this story to make sense despite Astro/Atom not being super central to this version, there are places where things just aren't explained because of assumed familiarity with the source material, Uran's abilities and Atom's like...whole deal being big ones imo.

Overall I really liked Pluto (2023), there were parts that really fucking moved me, the fuckin arc with North No.2 made me close to tears ngl. I would recommend watching it, but I also have a few thoughts on the ending, which I've written below to try and sort them out. Spoilers below:

"Hate doesn't make anything [good]" is a good moral and all but are we just going to ignore the fact that all this bullshit started cause of the in universe version of the Iraq war? Cause the stand in for the US just fuckin invaded a sovereign nation under the guise of weapons of mass destruction and humanitarian/robotitarian rights violations and then just indiscriminately laid waste to everyone living there?

Maybe I shouldn't have expected a full on anti-imperialst/anti-colonial screed from what is at the end of the day an officially endorsed Astro Boy remake but the buildup really felt like it was going somewhere more profound and critical of the status quo than just "hate and revenge is bad"

Idk, I feel like the President of Thracia should have gotten more comupance than just a light strangling and a brief moment of existential dread, like that wouldn't fix anything realistically and would totally go against the moral of the story but at the same time like...if you want the cycle of hate and revenge to stop you do have to actually take measures to ensure that the people who set the war in motion can't just do that again later. At least show the president of Thracia being brought in front of the international court or something and imply that systemic change might happen. Which yeah would be unrealistic but idk if the end note is supposed to be one of hope for a better future where there is no more hatred, then showing some concrete steps to prevent the biggest superpower from just starting another war cause they feel like it would make that feel a bit more achievable.

I am overthinking an officially endorsed Astro Boy fanfiction, it made me mad. Maybe I just want to see at least a fictional version of my stupid bloodthirsty dogshit country face consequences for its genocidal actions.

I also still have no fucking idea what that teddy bear/Bitcoin mining rig was or how it effected any of the events in the plot. It was framed like a mastermind at the last minute but then no explanation was given, maybe it's a reference I'm missing to the OG Astro Boy story, or it was explained more in the Manga. Idk. I'll read the manga and see I guess.

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2023 Day 22

Sea Horror or Cosmic Horror

Mkay so I tried my hand at cosmic horror for today. Since I've never written it before, I looked up a playlist on Spotify and everything to get in the mood so I hope this is somehow decent LOL

Featuring Skwisgaar because he's my favorite subject to expose to existential dread <3

Everyone was chatting, drinking, laughing. They had groupies on their laps, amusing them, ready to fuck them at a moment’s notice. It was the end of the first phase of the tour and they wanted to celebrate.

Skwisgaar looked at the corner of the table. Rough, worn-out, dulled... It was old and should probably be replaced.

He swallowed heavily as his bandmates clinked their glasses together. He should be having fun with them, but the dread was peeking at the pit of his stomach, crippling anxiety threatening to come out like foam from a sink.

He had failed a note at tonight’s show. Yeah, okay, in all his time being a guitarist there had been plenty of moments where he had to improvise. A lot of occasions where he had to lead unforeseen circumstances. A little distraction, a little mistake (mostly by Toki) and he had to change up his playing a little. No big deal. He was a pro after all.

Tonight, though, he had been too slow. His fingers have been too clumsy, he hadn’t been able to reach the note in time. Nobody else noticed, though, as he had been able to mask it in time. But he knew he had failed.

And yesterday he had failed a note during rehearsal, too. Only Nathan picked up on it, but didn’t say anything. At the end of rehearsal, he had given Skwisgaar a pat in the back in reassurance and left.

So that was two mistakes. In two days.

He had never fucked up consecutively in his entire career.

Skwisgaar’s eyes picked up on a weird shine on his right hand and he brought it closer for inspection. It was the light shining over his skin, a small smear on the back of his hand. 

He rubbed on it with his other hand. He must’ve gotten stained with makeup. Yet, when he looked again. The smear was still there so he kept rubbing.

The smear didn’t move, didn’t go away. 

When he brought his hand to his eye-level, he realized it was no smear. Rather, it was a wrinkle. A very small wrinkle, yet a wrinkle, nevertheless. It must’ve appeared very recently because Skwisgaar hadn’t seen it before and nobody paid more attention to his hands than himself. 

He stood up, accidentally knocking his knee against the table when he did. 

“Skwisgaar?” Pickles called him.

“Just goingks to beds.” He said, walking away. “Ams tireds.”

The group mumbled and whispered. He overheard one of them calling him a weirdo and a basket case and then they went back to laughing.

He didn’t care, he was used to it. Most importantly, though, his ears were ringing, smothering the sound from outside. 

When he got to his room, it felt like he had walked a mile distance. And when he picked up his guitar, it felt at least thrice as heavy. Already weirdly exhausted, he sat on his bed to play.

After a few seconds, though, it became abundantly clear it wasn’t coming right. The notes were off, his fingers were slow, his pace was erratic. It was all wrong!

It was all wrong!

Frustrated, he tossed the guitar to the side and looked at the wrinkle on his hand. It had grown bigger. In fact, it was still growing and starting to cover his hand and arm, getting faster with each second. 

Skwisgaar dropped his arm, breath hitching yet ultimately unable to do anything as the wrinkle, now a black hole, consumed him. 

He found himself in space. In front of him there was a gigantic guitar, the size of a skyscraper. Just standing there, completely still despite not being supported by anything.

Confused, Skwisgaar walked to it, like a moth drawn to a light. There was an old, decrepit man staring back at him. He was balding, his face was full of wrinkles and he had no teeth. His skin was full of spots and moles and he looked frail and bony, like he was on the verge of death.

It wasn’t until Skwisgaar leaned in closer that familiar blue eyes stared back at him. He gasped with horror but, before he could do anything, his body started falling downwards, towards the infinite void. Closing his eyes, he braced himself.

The next time he opened his eyes, he was in a white room and there was nothing in it, besides him and a gigantic brown eye. Unblinking, it bore right at Skwisgaar and, when he tried moving, its stare followed him. He couldn’t explain why, but it was fucking terrifying. He was scared out of his wits of this huge, powerful eye. But there was no door, there was no exit. Just him and the eye.

“You’re done.” A voice thundered in the room, reverberating inside Skwisgaar’s chest. Skwisgaar knew it was the eye’s voice because those three words felt like a death sentence. He gazed at his hands and saw they were disintegrating like sand. Looking at the eye, he tried asking for mercy but his voice wouldn’t come out. The eye finally closed and with it, all light left.

He was tiny and he was stuck. Actually, he had no idea if he was tiny and looking up. The stars and planets were conversing with each other, unaware of him, and light and speed flowing in multitudes he couldn’t comprehend. Skwisgaar wanted to be up there, with them so he started trying to move. 

It was making a disgusting noise and he was sure he was covered in something sticky and gross. Like glue or slime, though he couldn’t see quite clearly because it was dark. He kept struggling although it felt futile and when he raised his eyes, he found the entire galaxy had turned to him. The chatter had ceased and, despite having no eyes, Skwisgaar could tell they were judging him for disturbing them. 

That he didn’t belong.

When he looked down, he discovered the slimy thing was his own corpse. Several corpses of himself in fact. Liquefied and turned to a viscous mass, they were all him. A never ending ocean of his corpses. They were all him.

They were all dead.

He was dead.

Skwisgaar awoke in his room and saw his guitar tossed to the side of the bed. It was vibrating and inviting, a holy bright surrounding it. Skwisgaar stared at the instrument with fear, unsure whether he wanted to pick it up or not. Ultimately, he decided not to postpone the inevitable and stretched an arm to grab the Gibson by its neck.

Heartbeat thundering, Skwisgaar swallowed when he put it on his lap. He was aware the incessant panting came from his own mouth, yet found himself unable to stop it. He closed his eyes and made himself a promise before his fingers started to play.

It was all the right notes, all the right sounds. It was a melody. 

It was…music!

Skwisgaar’s eyes opened with surprise as he glanced down at his fingers. He still had it. The speed, the rhythm, the grace…

Relieved to the point of tears, Skwisgaar hugged his guitar, face nuzzling against its mast.

He was not done yet.