#[Gay robots and awesome planets]

[objectumconfessional]

Confession! I only recently came to realize I was objectum (after having a big thing for robots for YEARS lo) on top of also being a lesbian. I felt nervous about telling my wife, but we're honest about everything so eventually I did.

When we finally got talking about it, it turns out SHE'S OBJECTUM TOO!!! We were in the same boat all this time! Now we share photos of objects we think are hot and attractive to each other, and it's SO FUN AND AWESOME!!! BEING GAY AND OBJECTUM RULES!!!!

Peace and love on planet earth ❤️

[prunesthehippo]

Ride the Cyclone just feels like they would be drag artists

(Please excuse any inaccuracies I have about the drag scene, for I am a phony and do not know anything except that they do cool-ass performances.)

Noel Gruber - ....? Why are you still here? Did you really not see Monique Gibeau as his melodramatic, tragic, morally gray, French-inspired drag persona? or maybe Noel himself is his drag persona, and his persona is an awkward high-school gay boy who was Monique in his past life and is tormented by memories until a grand reveal and he turns into Monique in a super awesome quick change!? ...Too much? Never in drag.

Ocean O'Connell-Rosenberg - I feel like her drag persona is just her wacky backstory and character, but to the extreme: Hippie-raised raging narcissist. "Peace and love to all, of me!" and such. Monkey Love Drop or Spielverderber perhaps is her name? Just pure unadulterated chaos and a (coordinated) mess. Has-a-(staged) midday-crisis-in-the-middle-of-the-performance-about-the-hippie-side-of-her-and-then-pushes-a-man-down-the-stairs-because-he-was-running-in-the-(presumably) fake-hall kind of mess. What an icon.

Mischa Bachinski - Bad Egg: his gangsta-drag king persona!!!! His life is indeed awesome. Probably performs rap with hilarious amount of autotune, neon lights and heavy metal chain necklaces. Is it satire? No one knows. Orrr..... Talia is his drag queen persona, who is in love with some mysteriously handsome guy/fiancé named Bad Egg (which is literally just him. I'm imagining Talia performing and she goes on this very dramatic monologue about Bad Egg dying and her needing to deal with guilt and while she's talking about him, it's just a darkened silhouette of Mischa going like 🤘😎 behind her).

Ricky Potts - We all agree it's just him being a Space age. Swinging. Bachelor man. Or woman. Drag king or drag queen, either way the planet of Zolar and the cat-people will get out to the world.

Jane Doe/Penny Lamb - In this universe, Penny is the girl behind the persona of Jane Doe, a mysterious, horror-inspired, strangely endearing drag queen, who lost her head and is trying to find herself. Her performances consist of lots of doll imagery and floating. So... basically the performance of The Ballad of Jane Doe. Oops. But i would watch it. But i would watch a ball of crumpled paper on a stage, so maybe don't take my opinion into account.

Constance Blackwood - A sugary-sweets inspired drag queen who is just here to party and enjoy the life she couldn't before!! Sugar Cloud if you will. She comes in like a storm, throws candy around at the audience does a super-hype dance number and song! Just tries to make everybody have a good time.

Karnak - His drag persona is Virgil the Bass-Playing Rat. A rat chewing on the robot they so love only to end up killing them both in a fight against instinct! OR The Amazing Karnak is Virgil's persona, a magical sentient robot fortune teller forced to gamble with lives, only for their time to be cut short by a rat.

[artoatsblog]

What your favorite Nick toon says about you but it's EVERY Nick toon

Doug- When you were asked what you wanted for Christmas, you said "plan white bread."

Rugrats- You're a "90's kid" who wants the modern cartoon enjoyers to get off your lawn.

Hey Arnold-Same as Rugrats, but 5 time worse.

Rugrats (2021)- You only said this one to piss off the above two.

Ren & Stimpy- You're a gay man and all you OCs are ugly men who you need to kiss each other or else you'll die (This isn't an insult, you're the strongest member of our society.)

Rocko's modern life- You relate to at least one character way more than you would like to admit to others.

CatDog- Weird furry.

The angry beavers- Weird furry with taste.

Aaahh!!! Real monsters- You like the idea of Tim Burton's movies but your too cool to actually enjoy them, also your probably non-binary.

Kablam- As a kid you wanted to make something with this exact energy and now, you're a youtuber.

Oh Yeah! Cartoons- same as Kablam but you really miss Cosmo's old voice.

The wild Thornberry's- You worship the ground Tim Curry's walks on SO BAD.

Rocket power- Honest 90's kid.

SpongeBob SquarePants seasons 1-4- You're annoying about seasons 5+.

SpongeBob SquarePants seasons 5+- You know better than me about those people being annoying about seasons 5+.

As told by ginger- You were going to say Hey Arnold, but you didn't want to be lumped in with certain other people.

Action league now- You made at least five short films that look exactly like this.

Chalkzone- Your playlist for working out has the theme song for this show looped for five hours and nothing else.

The fairly oddparents- Your trans, and you hate no other person more than Elmer Hartman.

Invader Zim- You were a vary emo kid/teenager in the late 2000's (same, no shade)

Jimmy Neutron- you're really glad that that you picked the show in "Jimmy Timmy power hour" that wasn't made by an asshole.

All grown up- Come on guys "As told by ginger" is right there.

Avatar: the last airbender- I don't want to hear the lore of the fantasy book you wrote.

Avatar: the legend of Korra- Same as atla but You also made a LOT of shipping fanfics.

My life as a teenage robot- Transfem.

The X's- You don't exist, if you're going to go into the comments and say this is your favorite Nicktoon, you're lying.

El Tigre- This is just the good version of Danny Phantom.

Danny Phantom- That was a Joke don't yell at me.

Mr. meaty- You want this odd but cool type of puppetry to come back (if you thought I was going to make fun of this one your wrong.)

Tak and the power of Juju- Your enjoyment of this show is based entirely on the fact that you liked the games.

Back at the barnyard- Shitposter.

Fanboy and Chum Chum- Shitposter but awesome.

Catscratch- Yeah, I think Wayne Knight's voice is hot too.

The mighty B- Gay.

The penguins of Madagascar- I don't have a joke for this one I just think you have impactable taste.

Planet Sheen- You always wanted Jimmy Neutron to have more "Rawr XD" swag.

T.U.F.F puppy- You ether are Jerry Trainor, or you have a Jerry Trainor stan account.

Kung fu panda: legends of awesomeness- You have a three-hour lore video on this franchise, and I hope it does well.

Winx club- You wanted to help them get free from Netflix.

Robot and Monster- It may just be me, but I think you might enjoy Dan vs.

Teenage mutant ninja turtles (2012)- You don't like rise of the tmnt.

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles- You don't like tmnt (2012).

Sanjay and Craig- You used to freak other kids out with your scabs.

Monsters vs aliens- me (sorry).

Breadwinners- Your about to go into every cartoon reviewers house with a shit ton of water balloons.

Harvey Beaks- In the middle/late 2000's you were more of a cartoon network kid, you loved Cowder.

Pig, Goat, Banana, Cricket- Same as Harvey Beaks but with Flapjack instead of Cowder.

Bunsen is a beast- Your Elmer Hartman.

Welcome to the Wayne- You wrote at least one fanfic for the ending of this show.

The adventures of kid danger- We don't talk about this one.

Middle school Moguls- it's ok monster high is about to come to Nick for real.

The loud house- Your ether a sapphic girl or a straight guy with a DeviantArt account who needs to be punished.

The Casagrandes- Same as the loud house but with the added advantages, because if you have a DeviantArt account in this one you're more likely to have a normal relationship with your family.

It's pony- You don't hate the British as much as the rest of us.

Middlemost post- John trabbic III is such a bad ass name though, wait this show has Del the funky homosapien and Tony Hawk as guest stars, I might need to which this.

Star trek: prodigy- You really like Netflix original animated shows don't you.

Big Nate- You haven't read the books.

Monster high- You the perfect in-between of goth and prep.

Transformers: earthspark- Why does this show have better non-binary rep than most other shows...I mean they are called Transformers for a reason.

[ghostinthegallery]

As a transformers fan I love robots who have divorce drama stretching millions of years but also have a body count in the trillions. Thus it has taken little convincing but I think I shall investigate these undead robots.

In the event of my death I'm Telling. This is your fault. How do I start wading into this mess bc my only encounter with Warhammer was when a very drunk frat guy tried to explain the horus heresy at a party.

Well you are in for a treat then! Robots with marriage/divorce drama, severe mental health issues, and body counts best measured on a planetary scale are our specialty in Chez Necron.

If you want a setting overview before you dive in, Bricky's two part series going over all the factions is quite solid. Long, but hey this has been around since the 80s. (no drunken Horus Heresy rambles*)

First, watch this clip of Trazyn the Infinite, as an amuse bouche before your meal.

As for books, there are two main places I'd start for necrons:

The Infinite and the Divine- the classic starting point for necrons (and 40k in general). Trazyn the Infinite, lord of the Prismatic Galleries, battles against Orikan the Diviner, master chronomancer and prophet. Clash of godlike beings over...what amounts to a magic Rubik's Cube. It's so petty. This fight spans epochs, multiple wars, and one legal case. There's no heterosexual explanation for their dynamic. Also this book has dinosaurs. Some of whom carry shuriken canons.

Now, this book has a ton of 40k stuff. Most major factions make an appearance so there's a very good chance there will be words/things that a new person is unfamiliar with. If that doesn't bother you, awesome! Proceed. Ask me things, I'll explain that an aeldar is just a space elf or whatever. Or watch a lore vid beforehand. However if that is a turn off I'd recommend starting with...

Severed- Novella, so shorter which is nice. Do you like angst? The horrors of immortality? Lord/knight love story? One very silly guy? Then meet Zahndrekh and his loyal bodyguard Obyron as they set out to conquer a planet where the necrons are...wrong. Complicating factors include Obyron's crippling depression, Zahndrekh's asshole ex, and the fact Zahndrekh is insane and believes them all to still be the creatures of flesh and blood they were before a bunch of star gods ate their souls and turned them into robots. Prepare to cry.

After those, I cannot recommend the Twice Dead King duology highly enough. Oltyx, an exiled prince attempts to save his dynasty from destruction while battling his own creeping madness. He's got an adorable crush on his hot best friend. The voices in his head were put there on purpose so its fine. Well most of them were. Everything is fine. I didn't cry multiple times reading these...

Then refer to my reading guide for the good short stories and boom! The wonderful world of gay undead space robots is open before you.

I accept full responsibilities for my actions. If you die I promise to say mostly nice things at your funeral.

*mini rant, but I honestly think the Horus Heresy is one of the worst ways to introduce someone to the 40k world. It's a series with like 70 books! Many of them are bad! You need a flowchart to keep track of the timeline! I know there's some good books and characters, power to all who love the HH, but it is not newbie friendly! Also it only has humans which robs you of some of the best parts of the setting (like...y'know. Necrons). Ease people in, then they can make an informed decision about tackling the mountain of buff space men with daddy issues shooting each other.

[scalproie]

OKAY LAST SEASON BABEY last time we left the bots were going in hiding and optimus took a fucking nuke to the face what will our silly heroes be up to now

So smokescreen is hot rod in anything but name (the wiki even agrees) (HE EVEN GETS A BOW AT THE END) but the more i think of it, the more im like. The phaseshift gimmick smoky got wouldnt have worked so well with hot "I have flames on my paintjob" rod. Then i was wondering is phaseshifting was smth smoky had back in g1 but apparently not and i didnt find anything else so. Shrug.

The smokimus prime bait-and-switch still makes me feel some sort of emotion to this day. I mean i get it and i dont think i wouldve liked the alternative but gnhgnn

Team prime being separated in my opinion couldve lasted longer to do interesting stuff buuuuuut im really fine with the brievety. Plus the humans reuniting scene was very cute

Knockout's back must be suffering being the ONLY non-decepticon high command member and therefore carrying the goon quota on his own. Speaking of.

SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCKWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE

I keep forgetting Ultra Magnus is in tfprime BUT I like him. I remembered being kinda annoyed with him back in the day but I now recognize that I was stupid, hes literally fine and I like him a lot :) hes a hammer main

Predaking is so fucking cool its unreal. Put him in monster hunter

Cant believe that compared to S1, the tables have turned and there is now more bots than cons. its legit just decepticon high command + knockout now

Con side is still better tho. literally any scene with two different cons interacting is amazing as per usual

Shockwave after predaking got got and starscream is now mocking him: Fine. I'll do it my damn self *jumps off the tower and bags two autobots*

OPTIMUS' NEW DESIGN IS SO BULKYYY WHYYY THE ONE HE HAD WAS LITERALLY PERFECT. I GET WE HAVE TOYS TO SELL BUT CMONNN

He is also heavy weapons guy now so nvm

Optimus really hit megatron with the 1️⃣+2️⃣-> ➡️⬇️↘️1️⃣->➡️➡️2️⃣

SO LONG GAY WARLORD

Shockwave just casually walking off while the fortress is about to collapse on him is such a move. Insanely cool

The community joke that tfprime is just one massive macguffin collect-a-thon is so fucking real lemme tell you. Now we need BONES

ALSO. KNOWING THAT IT DOESNT ACTUALLY AMOUNT TO ANYTHING. LEMME TELL YOU.

"We could have beast wars on our hands" ENOUGH

The scouts vs waves fight was cool tho. Also soundwave running is so really uncanny

We are turning the screamer patheticness to fucking 11 this season and im having a blast. Steve blum screaming in a high pitch for 3 hours

Conceptually, "spunky teenage girl joining the giant robots version of the black ops on equal terms thanks to a mystical indestructible technology" is fucking awesome and I still do like that the show went that way for miko. Also major miko W for that starscream burn

Theyre also retroactively making wheeljack more like wheeljack

"You know what they say about vehicon troopers?" / "Theyre easily distracted" I cant believe they made them by cloning a bot with adhd

FYM "no mom dont go its not safe!" YOUVE BEEN LIGHTYEARS AWAY ON ANOTHER PLANET. GET YOUR SON'S ASS JUNE

S3:E7 is a great episode bc it has some KO action and for once he actually succeed. I kid you not some episodes (this one in particular) I got stressed over if knockout would get shit done bc his failure ratio is so high that if i didnt know better i wouldve thought megatron would fire him at one point. cons' only medic or not. Thats what happens when the writers kill off every evil goons in the show save for one

Just why is knockout french all of a sudden

"So go on, Big M, tell me you love me more than starscream~... my liege? hello? ... too familiar?" I HATE HIMMM

"Never let a decepticon take you to another location" yeah the animators would have to make another desert

I take it back about starscream, hes an essential part of the decepticons bc by pissing megatron off so much he makes everyone else look good in comparaison

I remember when megatron was struggling against ONE (1) insecticon and now wheeljack just killed like three middair in a single strike

Ive literally just realized the insecticons' insect mode are legit just seltas from mh4 (or vice-versa i guess, tfprime came first)

S3:E8 is the best episode of the season (the show maybe even) and I believe the fact that its the ONLY episode that is 100% full decepticon is related. A travesty it is the only one imo

I know the reason behind that is that the cons were literally too strong and they needed to nerf them somehow but still.

Too many good and noteworthy things in this episode for me to say but i will have to say that even tho they wrapped up the cylas plotline "well" enough I still have issues with airachnid's. I mean who doesnt

Ok i lied megatron basically saying "starscream if you so much as looked at my evil drugs cookie jar again i will fucking kill you for real this time" is hilarious

God I love this episode

The fact that shockwave is the one who made the zombie containment protocole meant that megatron had to fucking call him for help and explain and i so badly wish we got to hear that conversation

Predaking robot mode is one of the prettiest in this show ngl

Meanwhile the bots are introducing ultra magnus to the main theme of fast and furious

THE CONS DOING A TEAM HUDDLE IN THE FUCKING CLOSET IS KILLING ME

"I think we're gonna have to kill this guy, shockwave."

Predaking vs wheeljack and ultra magnus is the best fight in the show and its not even close. hunting dreadking rathalos with your dual blades and a hammer buddy be like

Ok i take it back the whole plot about the bones is not completely pointless and it goes into the conclusion of the show well enough. but still.

SHOCKWAVE KILL‼️

"Master! Are you going to allow one lieutenant to harm another!? ... Master?" / "I'm thinking >:)" guys did you know i love megatron very much

"Exemplary teamwork" GUYS DID YOU KNOW I LOVE M

Ultra magnus really came into this show just to face the horrors huh

I'll say it again, soundwave really didnt actually do much in tfprime BUT on the other hand he really did nothing but win :)

One complain I will have about his one (1) line is that there actually wasnt enough effects on his voice to really capture that G1 feel

It took 3 seasons and we are 4 episodes away from the series finale outside of the movie but the cons FINALLY figured out they could just. follow fowler to the autobot base. And they needed shockwave to have this epiphany as hes the only one with a braincell on the cons side rn. Genuinely im starting to think they werent that invested in finding the base of their enemy until they absolutely needed to

"This is no place for a one-handed autobot" shockwave one of your hand is a cheese grater cannon

I know predaking is actually a combiner originally and aligned/tfprime wanted to have a big dragon but honestly? He would be a neat rival to grimlock, he kinda reminds me of him during his fight with optimus. And dinoBOT vs predaCON yknow? (Or at least. The aligned version of the predacons)

WHY DID THEY JUST BLOW UP THE ONE HANGAR??? WHY DIDNT THEY BLOW UP THE WHOLE BASE??? IN MY MEMORY I WAS SURE THEY QUICKLY RELOCATED WHAT DO YOU MEAN STARSCREAM JUST FUCKED UP AGAIN BC OF SOME PAINT??? WHAT??????

I love megatron when he is completely honest about being an untrustworthy asshole

Honestly if i were jin kazama i would be ecstatic about having job security once i turn 18 bc i hanged out with giant alien robots a lot. Also raf picking up after ratchet is cute

Ratchet said "megatron i will NEVER help you in your plans" and meg was like "ok then lemme give you a tour of the ship" and that was all it took for ratchet to help

Loved that scene with ratchet, shockwave and KO. Also love when cons are surprised when given basic decency

Optimus and starscream running into each other in the sky like that scene in malcom in the middle where the mom pass by the son driving a car

MEGATRON PULLING THE OVERLORD/PIPES SPECIAL ON RATCHET

Really loving how literally all of the autobots plans failed and the only reason they dont lose is bc the decepticons ONCE AGAIN caused their own downfall. And like a coinflip its either starscream or knockout. here its knockout

Predaking vs megatron is. Very good. To me.

"[out of breath] Thats the spirit... but I was a champion of the pits of Kaon not only due to my savage might... but also my CUNNING." 😳😳😳

We are starting the series finale strong

Genuinely genuinely genuinely what they did to soundwave is so fucked up to this day and I KNOW rid15 fixed that but still in the context of this show in a vaccum this horrifies me. He was the coolest and got such a "I have no mouth and I must scream" end. Which i know is fitting for him but GOD.

Smokescreen being an errant boy for this finale is a good representation of his treatment for this (short) season. Im sorry buddy youre still the mvp

I am SHOCKED by how little focus the last optimus vs megatron fight got

Megatron's last moments. Augh. Give him the oscar 😫

I forgot how much of a chill team player shockwave was like that in this show

Funny to hear the evil theme of the nemesis getting turned into smth heroic

Predaking is really pretty

Tfprime has a very efficient ending. The goodbyes were really well done and the score really makes you feel emotional

Not closing words from peepaw? Alright. I guess they knew they had the movie next

OK THAT WAS SEASON 3. It sure is a lot more rushed than previous seasons which is a shame bc the events follow each other nicely enough. Predaking also took a lot of the focus bc we had toys to sell. Oh well many such cases. ONLY PREDACON RISING NEXT AND IM FREE

[grasswrym]

havent seen the new transformers movie yet but can u pls explain who the gay robots are

SORRY IM SO BAD AT INBOXES

This is spoilers for Transformers One btw go watch that movie it fucks

So the yellow one is Bumblebee. Aka B. Because bumblebees don’t exist on cybertron <- alien robot planet where the transformers are from. all you really need to know about him for this continuity is he’s the Kid one. The silly even. Doesn’t shut the fuck up. May or may not get his voice box ripped out after the Michael Bay movies popularized semi-mute B (he talks via the radio instead). Has a banger solo live action movie.

The pink one is Elita-1 though in the movie she’s just Elita. She’s the badass of the group. Doesn’t do a super whole lot in the movies but in comics and other continuities she’s often shown as like Optimus’s counterpart and they usually have some sort of unresolved sexual tension with tones of “we fucked for awhile but it didn’t work and both of us are still awkward about it”. Anyways she is typically some sort of military top brass which you see happen at the end of the film. Other timelines have had a LOT of right-hand-man for autobots including Jazz and Ironhide so yeah. I digress

THE MAIN TWO!!! THE PLOT!!!!

ORION PAX. Baby boy. Red and blue. Because he’s basically robot Superman. Starts out at the bottom of Society but has a deep drive to do good and help people. His “best friend” (this is tumblr you know what that means) is D-16. D-16 is silver. He is very like. We just need to keep our heads down, don’t stir the pot, we need Order in society lets know our Place. While Orion is super like cmonnnn man don’t you wanna DO something. And ends up dragging D to various places for shenanigans.

This leads to a domino effect where they find out the government has been lying to everyone’s faces for literal decades. And they have the the proof of this so basically what happens is

O: awesome we have the Pentagon Papers let’s leak it to the world and we can get this leader out of power!

D: I am going to Kill Robot Nixon.

And then they go to the City and are like Awesome The World Knows!! And the Workers start a Revolution (surprise this is communism) and D goes I’m killing the president now. So Orion says hey man uh. it’s okay. everyone knows you don’t gotta. And D goes FUCK OFFFF and tries to kill Robot Nixon anyways and Orion jumps in front of the blast and saves Robot Nixon’s life and D goes hey FUCK you for that and kicks Orion’s corpse down a ditch. And then kills Robot Nixon.

So then Orion’s corpse falls to he center of the planet where he meets Literal God and gets resurrected via the Matrix of Leadership which is basically like. Only ye who are worthy shall possess the power type deal. Very Thor. So God says ARISE… OPTIMUS PRIME and then Optimus Prime arises and kicks the shit out of D-16 who is now calling himself Megatron. And then Prime is like Aight I’m Robot President now get the fuck outta my city. And megatron does! Happy divorce!!!!

And also Soundwave is there and he’s best boy forever <333333

[knightotoc]

Best Witches

Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (rural, realistic, last-minute gender confusion)

Häxan (1922) (weird, intricate, humanist)

His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman (badass, bisexual, political)

Suspiria (1977) (scary, fucked-up, retro)

Madoka Part III: Rebellion (2013) (unfair, intense, lesbian)

Best Angels:

"Sail On! Sail On!" by Philip José Farmer (so fucking clever)

A Matter of Life and Death (1946) (awesome, low-key feminist, fruity)

His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman (mysterious, bizarre, gay)

"A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings" by Gabriel García Márquez (odd, pitiful, mysterious)

"Hell is the Absence of God" by Ted Chiang (destructive, terrible, desired)

Best Demons:

Evil Dead 2 (1987) (existential terror + comedy)

Slumber Party Massacre II (also 1987) (similar)

"The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe (unfathomably cruel)

The Wolf House (2018) (sinister, subtle, real)

The Wailing (2016) (scary, cool, funny)

Best Robots:

Robot series by Isaac Asimov (good, logical, gay)

Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-94) (similar)

Mockingbird by Walter Tevis (depressed, intelligent, bitter but caring)

Blade Runner (1982) (sad, weird, cool)

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001) (tragic, lovable, fucked-up)

Best Vampires:

Interview with the Vampire (2022-) (sexy, scary, tragic)

Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (funny, sympathetic, occasionally caffeine-addicted)

Dracula (1931) (spooky, iconic, swag)

Best Fairies:

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke (scary, mysterious, greedy)

"The Elves" by Ludwig Tieck (selfish, environmental, lesbian)

Best Ghosts:

Lake Mungo (2008) (desperately sad)

The Innocents (1961) (creepy, ambiguous, clever)

Pulse (2001) (tragic, mysterious, intriguing)

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947) (adorable, romantic, fun)

Opening Night (1977) (unusual, unsettling, mirrored)

Best Giants:

Shadow of the Colossus (2005) (epic, sad, environmental)

The Food of the Gods by H.G. Wells (cool, sympathetic, socialist)

Fantastic Planet (1973) (weird, vivid, retro)

Best Aliens:

Alien (1979) (scary, weird, fucked-up)

The Man who Fell to Earth by Walter Tevis (longing, sympathetic, smart)

Remembrance of Earth's Past series by Liu Cixin (terrifying, cold, pessimistic)

The Gods Themselves by Isaac Asimov (fun with gender and physics)

"Mother" by Philip José Farmer (greedy, intense, Freudian)

Best Monster Boyfriends:

La Belle et la Bête (1946) (pathetic, scary, romantic)

The Shape of Water (2017) (intricate, sympathetic, subversive)

Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett (funny, unusual, adorable)

Best Werewolves:

Ginger Snaps (2000) (sad, loving, funny)

Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (funny, unexpected, cute)

[clockworkdragonffxiv]

I'll admit the point went over my head when I was younger, and I still sometimes wonder if Verhoeven is so unsubtle about things that you actually don't get the message. Robocop had the same problem: the ultraviolence is s over the top it's like having a megaphone shoved in your face.

Honestly, I thought the animated series based on Starship Troopers of all things got the satire at a level that tween me could understand. Because that, somehow, left a mark on my attitudes towards militarism and military adventurism and just how brutal wartime thinking is. That's even with the show portraying the war with the Arachnids as much more ambiguous with who actually started it (in the movie it's pretty clear that the Federation provoked if not outright invaded the violently territorial Bugs, while in the show while SICOM are shown to be on occasion huge assholes the Bugs actually are expansionist and domineering towards other species), it had this element of cynicism towards war and every episode hammered in "War sucks."

Like, there's a line that sticks with me. The whole episode had been about this brand new combat robot assigned to the unit, and at the end it learned the value of human life and sacrificed itself to save the squad's reporter. The narration from that reporter at the end says something bitterly to the effect of "SICOM decided that the CHAS androids weren't 'cost effective'. Good thing humans come cheap."

Hell of a thing to put in a show aimed at 13 year old boys, huh. Had more of an impact on me than the movie, where the unrelenting boobs and gore drowned out the rest. Okay, to be fair, I was 14. Boobs and gore are awesome when you're 14.

I think the movie wasn't helped for me because I'd read the book, and I liked the book. Again, I was 14, so cut me some slack here. But I was wanting the book, because the big Marauder suits as depicted in the book were awesome sounding. So that didn't help me.

The Arachnids in the books are morally about equal to Humans. Both species are expansionist, violent, have eyes on the same territory and resources, and don't want to share. They're also just as capable of building FTL spaceships as humans, and seem to conduct diplomacy that we never see. But Heinlein wrote the book in response to dialing back the nuclear testing and took inspiration for the society of the Federation from the Roman Republic. He also specifically noted that to him it was basically just a thought experiment that let him play around with some ideas he found intellectually interesting rather than anything he actually supported.

Honestly, if you want a good commentary on this kind of thing, go read The Forever War by Joe Halderman. It's like Starship Troopers only Halderman wrote as part of his psychological recovery from being a combat engineer in Vietnam. It gets how utterly fucked up and fucking stupid war is. Like by the end they're fighting at the ass end of space with spears and bows and arrows for a planet that's a deathtrap, a handful of them survive... and they get home and find out the whole fucking war was a big misunderstanding and humanity has now become so strange they have more in common with the aliens now than the humans who were doing the fighting.

It's got some regressive ideas because, well, it was written in the 1970s, but forward thinking for the time. Homosexuality isn't treated as bad, just a bit confusing to the main character who by the end is also the only straight guy in his unit, and sexual orientation is mentioned as being something that can be altered with a minor medical procedure. Note that this is for people who are "born" (genetically engineered) with their default orientation set to gay. Little things like that. Halderman has admitted he finds those details kind of embarrassing now, but again, he wrote this back in the 1970s so for the time period it's doing its' best.

Anyways that's enough rambling from me.

[reviewsclown]

Rogue One 2016

First complementary Star Wars media that's not a movie, and it's some add-on content that doesn't really change anything but is kind of neat. Neat intro though, of course the Empire is kidnapping random scientists to work on tech, they're evil they do these things, also Krennic is kind of a fun character. Kafrene(?) is a fun set-piece and Cassian is a fun character too, fun enough he got an entire tv show about it. Also I think this is the first movie where they directly say the words' kyber crystals'? in reference to using them for the Deat Star. Lot of iconic characters in this version of the rebellion, Cassian as previously mentioned, really fun character, Mon Mothma looks really good here. That one robot that people really wanted to fuck and so they used it in every recent EA star wars game. I didn't realize Galen Erso was Mads Mikkelsen until they showed an earlier flashback, he looks odd with long hair, not used to it. The blind monk is a weird character, he's like a powerful newtype but about the force and he only fights with a staff because he's an asian monk and that's the entirety of his character. Also his gay lover the heavy weapons guy, this really is a 'dnd party'-ass team. The death star is obviously awesome, and it's cool seeing a low power shot from it, makes it a threat without being a one hit KO. Darth Vader is cool, I can't hate darth vader showing up, they had him in Fallen Order as a big bad guy you couldn't possibly win against and that's cool, and he's here to be an evil and intimidating guy and he makes a funny joke? It's awesome. I would've been fine with the movie being named Rogue One, if there was a pre-existing squadron they joined named Rogue One, but it's actually a name the pilot just entirely made up on the fly an hour and a half in, cinemasins ding, roll credits. At least the beach planet is a really cool setpiece, big fan of it. lot of really cool battle scenes and some tragic deaths that you don't see coming really. The part where a ship starts falling so they get a ramming ship to ram it into more ships and cause destruction, truly kind of awesome, there's just not a lot of ship ramming in these movies Why do r2d2 and c3po show up for a single scene to say 2 lines, they only did that so you pog at the screen. I gotta be honest I didn't realize the death star could like, move. I thought it stayed in orbit and shot at things near and far, but I guess it makes sense that's not the case, it has sublight and hyperdrive. The ending of the movie being just the beginning of new hope is very cool though, it kind of does make you pog at your screen in a good way.

They did not have a lot of budget for like, colors, in this movie. Very bland looking and without contrast. I suppose it's meant to be more 'gritty' and 'realistic' but it just doesn't look very good. Besides that though I feel like the CGI use was pretty acceptable in this movie? besides entirely CGI Tarkin that looked pretty bad. I will say in not being mainline Star Wars they're able to do more different stuff with the music, and it's pretty neat stuff, while still having leitmotifs to pull from.

Final Review: yeah that was pretty good, there was parts where I started to not care but, over-all still a pretty good movie? and apparently the last of the good ones, now it's bad from here on out.

[scallioncreamcheesebagel]

im not making a formal “post anticipated anime of summer 2022″ post bc A) ive been anime-ing and blogging a lot less and B) summer 2022 kinda looks like ass, but here’s a quick rundown of my TOP 10 I GUESS

tokyo mew mew new - self explanatory it’s fucking MEW MEW

yakuza’s guide to babysitting - what it says on the tin, looks adorable

bucchigire! - awesome looking original samurai show

yurei deco - new weird-looking sci-fi original from science saru

phantom of the idol - ghost of a good idol possesses a bad idol so they can both live their dreams, comedy ensues

kj file - almost no info out about this but the poster looks rad and it’s about kaiju

lycoris recoil - original anime where girls run a cafe and they also have guns and fight zombies and maybe they’re gay? but it looks like mostly cafe stuff

prima doll - original anime by key where robot girls with really bad moe character designs run a cafe (will prob be sad because it’s key)

uncle from another world - could be funny maybe? i hate isekai

biscuit hammer - made by the guy who made planet with (one of my top 5 anime of all time) but it looks like garbage

and shadows house season 2 is also airing so yay for that. THE END

[hakasims]

The Most Important Review of Every Single Marwan Kenzari Film

If you’ve seen this one about Luca, you know the drill.

Now, Marwan’s brand is a little less defined than Luca’s but I managed to find similar tropes in a lot of his films. Also, rather than copy myself and give you a redundant Marwanmeter, I decided instead to recommend which Luca character best pairs with each Marwan character for your crossover pleasure. Let’s see if we ship the same things! Some of them are crack. You’re welcome.

(all gifs again by the awesomely amazing @weardes​ who did not ask to be my gif factory but life’s a bitch)

Het zusje van Katia (2008)

Will you miss him if you blink? Kinda. They talk about him a lot but his actual screen time is like 43.7 seconds. Also can I just say... he’s supposed to be from Italy?? The boy says literally one (1) Italian word, and you’ll never guess what it is. (Obviously, it’s “bella” like there’s a chance he could’ve said anything else.)

Is he hot? Painfully hot.

Is he naked? There’s this one scene where he’s wearing the sluttiest pair of speedos I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Does his hair look great? Actually, yes. Perfect hair, perfect beard, he looks amazing.

Does he fuck? Yes, a lot - off screen, including an M/M/F threesome he presumably, probably, most definitely initiated.

Best paired with? From what I’ve gathered, this hoe ain’t loyal, so the best course of action is to find him a Luca that would benefit from a one night stand with no strings attached and wouldn’t fall in love with him. The obvious choice here is Valerio from Slam - Tutto per una ragazza. They meet, they fuck, then Giac makes his 4-hour drive back to Pisa, and they don’t see each other again until the next time he’s in Rome. Everybody’s happy, especially the two sluts in question.

De laatste dagen van Emma Blank (2009)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, absolutely.

Is he hot? Very.

Is he naked? Almost constantly.

Does his hair look great? He’s got those cute short curls, he looks so good.

Does he fuck? That’s literally why he’s there: to fuck and to die.

Best paired with? Man, I wish I had something to work with here. The only thing we know about him besides his sexual prowess is his affinity for white suits and toy helicopters. And as far as I know, those might be the exact things Fabrizio from Nina finds hot in guys. So like, why not?

Loft (2010)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character.

Is he hot? Yeah, sure.

Is he naked? There’s a scene where he’s wearing underwear and a tank top but it somehow makes him look like a kindergartener.

Does his hair look great? It looks quite nice.

Does he fuck? Yes, though I wish he didn’t.

Best paired with? Tom is a very violent person and a drug addict. He does messed up stuff to his sexual partners I’d rather he didn’t do to any of Luca’s characters. Feel free to use him for your sadistic fantasies or as a villain or whatever.

Rabat (2011)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s one of the three leads.

Is he hot? Oh yes! And cute!

Is he naked? He’s at the beach wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

Does his hair look great? He’s got this extreme undercut thing that would look ridiculous on anyone less pretty, so like no, he doesn’t have great hair, but also like it’s Marwan, you know what I mean?

Does he fuck? Before he embarks on a road trip with his friends, he has an offscreen threesome with two girls he picked up at a wedding. Slut.

Best paired with? Gabriele from Waves. They’re both sweet guys who could meet in some Tunisian port and decide to sail the Mediterranean Sea together.

Black Out (2012)

Will you miss him if you blink? Not unless your blinking is very deliberate.

Is he hot? Not really. He’s a dirty cop with a shitty moustache and oral fixation.

Is he naked? No, but I wish he was: his clothes are awful. Marwan is 29 in this movie and he looks 50!

Does his hair look great? Nope. They took Marwan’s usual short hair and made it not work somehow.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? The one thing Luca’s characters all have in common is that none of them come off as bootlickers. All of them are either too soft for such a relationship or wouldn’t waste their spit on a cop.

Wolf (2013)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? *gestures wildly at the gif*

Is he naked? He’s got quite a few shirtless scenes.

Does his hair look great? It’s nothing special but suits his character well.

Does he fuck? Oh yes.

Best paired with? Hear me out. I know that some people ship him with Fabio, but in my opinion that pair, while hot, doesn’t work. Here’s my pitch: Cesare from Non essere cattivo. The drug connection is still there, but in this case Majid’s problem-solving skills won’t fall on deaf ears. Cesare needs a daddy, ok? Majid can be a daddy when he needs to, especially when he has a soft boyfriend to care for. And Majid needs soft, not psycho.

Hartenstraat (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist once again.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? There’s that iconic scene where he’s wearing nothing but black boxer briefs and boots while carrying a tray...

Does his hair look great? He’s got Joe-like curls and looks like what every male romantic lead should aspire to look like and then cry because they all fail.

Does he fuck? There’s one very unfortunate sex scene played for laughs. I’m pretty sure he’ll need therapy afterwards. I certainly do.

Best paired with? Paolo from Il padre d’Italia. Paolo deserves the best boyfriend, and who’s better than Daan, an extremely hot man who cooks? They both have daughters, so they can talk about that, I guess, and Paolo can finally have a family. Honestly, this is so wholesome I just made myself cry.

Lucia de B. (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? For sure.

Is he hot? He’s a cop. Again. But he looks good.

Is he naked? Fully dressed, but man are his clothes ugly. Is that a cop thing?

Does his hair look great? He has slightly longer curls, which is fine and the best thing about this character.

Does he fuck? ACAB. (I know this doesn’t answer the question, I just wanted to make it clear.)

Best paired with? See my bootlicker comment from earlier. While Detective *checks notes* Ron Leeflang isn’t explicitly corrupt, he’s obviously a dick, so the best I can do here is recommend any Luca character that has ever been in trouble with the law for any fics about power imbalance you want to write but aren’t comfortable with a nice Marwan playing the villain.

Bloedlink (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Oh no, he’s there the entire time.

Is he hot? In a weird way, yes.

Is he naked? So, so, so naked. Like, leave nothing to the imagination naked.

Does his hair look great? I’d say that little rat tail is the exact opposite of great.

Does he fuck? Probably more than is good for him. I should also add that he’s canonically queer in this.

Best paired with? Rico is a pathetic loser in need of someone who’s got his life together and has a lot of experience dealing with fuckups. Enter Loris from Il mondo fino in fondo. He has a stable job and a savior complex, and with his little bro gaying it up in Chile and not needing him anymore, all he wants right now is someone to fix. I should be a fucking matchmaker in real life, for real.

Pak van mijn hart (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Undoubtedly.

Is he hot? No. The whole point of his character is to be the lesser choice compared to a guy who looks like a completely ordinary bland white dude...

Is he naked? ...so of course he isn’t naked! What, are they gonna take this poor woman, show her Marwan Kenzari’s post-Wolf body and expect her to choose her deeply mediocre ex? Please! They’re gonna dress him in the dorkiest clothes possible...

Does his hair look great? ...and make him wear the most awful wig that was clearly run over by a truck.

Does he fuck? No. As you can observe, they tried really hard to make him unfuckable, but honestly, he seems like a perfectly nice guy.

Best paired with? You know what? Mattia from La solitudine dei numeri primi is in desperate need of some sweetness and normalcy. I’m sure Richard will treat him with kindness and respect.

Collide (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character. Out of five.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? Not for a second! What’s up with American movies where people aren’t just casually walking around naked without any plot necessity???

Does his hair look great? His curls are so cute you guys! Look at them!

Does he fuck? Not explicitly.

Best paired with? Fabio from Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot. Again, the drug connection is there, but Matthias is soft enough not to butt heads with Fabio and, by the end of the movie, rich enough to satisfy his cravings for good living and fame. Also look at how good their color coordination is with those dark wine red clothes! Sometimes planets just align, okay?

Ben-Hur (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, especially if you aren’t watching the background.

Is he hot? Your usual Marwan hot.

Is he naked? No.

Does his hair look great? His typical short curls with a twist. I think the forehead area is supposed to invoke the Caesar cut? I don’t know. It looks fine when not hidden under that dumb helmet.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? A better script and a much better director. (Seriously, what is this blocking?)

The Promise (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there a decent amount in the first half of the movie and then almost completely disappears in the second half.

Is he hot? Very much, yes.

Is he naked? Unfortunately, no.

Does his hair look great? He’s got short curls again, but this time they’re fashionably styled, it’s magnificent.

Does he fuck? Oh yeah! And there’s no way he isn’t bi or pan in this. No way.

Best paired with? Roberta from L’ultimo terrestre. Listen, Emre Ogan may be a slut but he’s a gentleman, okay? He’d treat Roberta right and he’s got daddy’s cash to spare on hundreds of gorgeous white dresses for her.

The Mummy (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there, but barely.

Is he hot? Dangerously hot.

Is he naked? Not once! Instead we get a naked Tom Cruise literally no one asked for.

Does his hair look great? It’s your basic professional short hairdo.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Malik is a member of an organization tracking and destroying various monsters and historical artefacts related to them. Guido from Tutti i santi giorni speaks four languages, including Latin, and is a literature and ancient history nerd which makes him a valuable asset. Malik can fight and protect; Guido is bumbling and in need of saving. Guys, this writes itself.

What Happened to Monday (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, especially not in the third act.

Is he hot? He’s okay.

Is he naked? Very naked.

Does his hair look great? They shouldn’t have greased his curls back. He looks like another victim of Fabio Cannizzaro’s stylist. Also I wish he’d either shaved or finished growing out that beard.

Does he fuck? He fucks and he fucks good. He’ll go down on you, he’ll deflower you slowly and gently, he’ll choke you if you want him to, he’ll spoon you all night, he’ll give you emotional support, he’ll murder people for you - he’s down for whatever.

Best paired with? There’s one Luca character who needs a lot of sex and even more emotional support. Alright, most of them do, but I’m thinking of Ettore from Lasciate andare. He needs it, okay? Good dicking, good spooning, a good ear, a fine piece of ass to cry into - you get the gist. Most importantly: someone who’d love him for who he is and with whom he could relax and be himself. (Also, I see you, people comparing him to Fabio. Shame on you for sleeping on this soft boy and judging him based on his appearance.)

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s kinda always present, being very French.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? No, but I’m willing to forgive that because he looks so good in his conductor uniform.

Does his hair look great? He never takes off his hat.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Mickey Miranda. They’re both murderers morally dubious characters who would look hot together. What else do you need? (Again, I see you, people who want Pierre for Roberta because he’s a “nice guy”, and I know for a fact you didn’t watch the movie. Spoilers, I guess.)

The Angel (2018)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? Oh yes.

Is he naked? Not once, but you won’t regret it because he’s wearing excellently stylish 1970s clothes.

Does his hair look great? It looks fantastic. The sideburns (not yet seen here) are a good touch.

Does he fuck? He can definitely get it, but he’s loyal to his wife.

Best paired with? As the most aesthetically coherent and fashionably hot pair in this post, Ashraf and Primo are a no-brainer. Can you imagine Primo calling him “Angel” in different contexts? When he’s being intimidating, not realizing how palpable the sexual tension between them is, and later not even hiding his arousal? Sometimes things just work because they’re hot. That’s all, folks.

Aladdin (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the main villain.

Is he hot? It’s not like he went viral for being the “hot Jafar” or anything.

Is he naked? No! Fucking thanks a lot, Disney.

Does his hair look great? He has a buzz cut under that turban but he looks good in the turban, so that’s something.

Does he fuck? It’s a Disney movie, so he doesn’t fuck - explicitly or otherwise - but he still comes off as a thirsty bitch.

Best paired with? Jafar ends the movie as a genie who’s obligated to grant his master three wishes but is enough of a petty bitch to exploit the hell out of the “gray area” and screw them over Wishmaster style. My unconventional pair for him is Lui from Ricordi? So many scenarios with distorted memories and magic-induced mindfuck. So many possibilities for awesome and messed up crossover gifsets! Don’t say I never give you guys anything.

Instinct (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s very prominent.

Is he hot? I hate myself for finding him hot but I do.

Is he naked? He’s playing basketball shirtless in one scene, shaking his sweaty boobs everywhere.

Does his hair look great? His weird mohawk-like thing is honestly terrible, but if anything can make it work, it’s Marwan’s bone structure.

Does he fuck? Um, I’m pleading the Fifth on this one for the sake of good taste.

Best paired with? Prison. A very lonely, Luca-less prison.

The Old Guard (2020)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, unless blinking in your case means sleeping through the gloriousness that is the first ever canonically gay couple in an American action film.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? Shirtless in one scene.

Does his hair look great? Soft curls courtesy of Luca Marinelli’s tireless lobbying.

Does he fuck? Not on screen, but you can just tell by the way he looks at his husband and reads impromptu poetry right to his face. And everybody knows nothing kindles the fires of passion quite like murdering homophobes together.

Best paired with? If you have to ask, you’re clearly reading this by mistake. In which case, kudos for finishing such a long and confusing post, now go watch The Old Guard and cry at the beauty that is The Immortal Marriage.

[i-am-bored]

Master List of Gay Cartoons

In honor of Pride month (and to help those who are suffering since Amphibia ended and The Owl House is on Hiatus), I decided to make a list of gay cartoons. Mainly because I realized younger members of fandoms might not be aware that these shows exist. Enjoy :)

The Legend of Korra (2012-2014)

 4 Seasons

This is the show that started it all. Korra and Asami were the first canon gay couple in a kids cartoon. They became canon before gay marriage was even legal. Not much of their relationship is shown onscreen, but they paved the way for all that followed.

The show itself is great, especially seasons 3 and 4. Korra in particular has a great character arc, and like Avatar before it, it continues to have great worldbuilding and an epic magic system. It’s funny, it’s heartfelt, and the fight scenes are super cool. 

Adventure Time (2010-2018)

10 Seasons

I’ve never seen this show, but I have seen clips of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline and they are amazing.

All I know about this show is that it’s in a post apocalyptic universe, the vampire writes awesome songs, and it’s gay. After ten seasons. (Which by the way shout out to the fans who shipped Bubbline since the beginning your strength of will is incredible)

Gravity Falls (2012-2014)

2 Seasons

This show is incredible. It’s funny, has a really fun animation style, cool creatures, and it’s the parent show to Owl House and Amphibia. The characters are great, the mysteries and codes will keep you guessing, and the villain is a triangle in a top hat. There’s two gay minor side characters and a main character (Wendy) was confirmed Bi offscreen. 

Also, this show is a part of Disney’s pride collection, which is odd considering when it aired Disney was constantly censoring any of Alex Hirsch’s attempts at LGBTQ rep.

Steven Universe (2013-2020)

5 Seasons, 1 movie, 1 sequel season 

Both over-hyped and over-hated this show seriously did so much for gay representation. So many modern cartoons wouldn’t be able to exist without it. Practically every character is gay in some way. You’ve got a lesbian wedding, an ace character, multiple non-binary characters, and a main character who doesn’t give a shit about gender stereotypes. 

It’s got lots of found family, gay pining, cool fight scenes, and amazing original songs. (Peace and Love on the Planet Earth is a bop) The characters and their relationships with each other are really complex. Season 1 is mostly fun filler episodes but after that, things start getting Intense. 

Star Vs. the Forces of Evil (2015-2019)

4 Seasons

I also haven’t seen this show. All I know is that there are gay characters, and the show is semi-well liked, and the girl is considered a war criminal for some reason?  

Voltron Legendary Defender

8 Seasons

I never finished this show, but what I watched was pretty good. There’s space, giant robots, and Pidge. One of the main characters is gay. (I also watched it after its prime and didn’t interact with the fandom, so I don’t really know what happened all I know is Shit Went Down.) 

Ducktales (2017-2020)

3 Seasons

Like Gravity Falls, this show doesn’t have much in the way of on-screen rep (two background characters and one character confirmed offscreen), but it’s a great show nonetheless. Also, Webby and Lena, although not canon, raise the gayness level by a heck of a lot.  

It’s basically about a bunch of ducks going on adventures as a family. Its full of moments that will make you laugh, has a cool comic-style or animation, and gets surprisingly serious at times. It also has David Tennant as a Scottish duck and Catherine Tate as his nemesis. 

She Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018-2020)

5 Seasons

Everyone in this show is gay. I’m not kidding. The main characters are lesbians. The other main characters are Bi. Pretty sure the only straight one is the main villain. It also has the classic Childhood Friends to Enemies to Lovers. 

As for the actual show, imagine a bunch of sparkly princesses, now add Star Wars, an evil cult, and then make it gay. That’s the show. There’s swordfights, robots, a character named Glimmer who likes blowing things up, a talking horse, Adora who is way too relatable, some war crimes, Catra who can never have a good day, Best Boy Bow, and they save the day with the power of love. It has everything you could want honestly. 

The Dragon Prince (2018- Present)

3 Seasons (with more on the way)

Most of the gay characters in this show are side characters, but they’re all amazing. You got the lesbian moms, the gay dads, the twink elf with glasses, and a badass general who’s probably gonna end up with this fire elf girl. 

The first three seasons are great and the next one is hopefully coming out soon (It’s been a three-year hiatus. End me). It’s made by some of the same people who made Avatar. There’s a classic element based magic system, the animation is beautiful, and there’s dragons. The main couple is great and one of the main characters is voiced by Sokka. 

Amphibia (2019-2022)

3 Seasons

Most of the rep in this show is minor characters, but in the finale one of the main characters was confirmed Bi and two side characters got together. 

This show has fun fantasy adventures with epic season finales. The worldbuilding is well done, the voice acting (especially Hop Pop) is excellent, and it never fails to make me laugh. There’s found family, childhood friends to enemies, and a whole lot of character growth throughout the show. Warning: this looks like a goofy frog show. You will cry. Many times.

this is also part of Disney’s pride collection which just proves that Sashannarcy is canon

Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts (2020)

3 Seasons

This show is seriously underrated. One of the main characters (Benson) is gay with another gay side character and a non-binary background character. 

It takes place in a post-apocalyptic world where giant mutant animals have pretty much taken over. The soundtrack is awesome, the characters are fun, and the villains are really well written. It’s just all around a fun time. 

The Owl House (2020-present)

2 Seasons (shortened 3rd season upcoming)

This show man. 

You have a bi main character dating a lesbian (the word girlfriend is used several times onscreen), and several other characters who are gay including a non-binary character and an Aro-Ace character. 

It’s a fantasy show with a cool magic system. The animation (especially in some of the fight scenes) is incredible, the found family will warm your heart, the season finales will tear it out, and it’s just all around a great show. It will have you laughing one minute and sobbing the next. The characters are also well-written and complex. Especially in season 2, everyone gets their time to shine. 

This show is also like half of Disney’s pride collection Which is odd when you consider the fact that it was cut short for “not fitting the Disney brand” but it’s fine. I’m not bitter. 

Arcane (2021-present)

1 Season (so far)

I can’t praise this show enough. It genuinely is one of the greatest shows I’ve ever seen. It’s Greek Tragedy but done with stunning animation and a steampunk vibe. The writing and music are excellent, and every character feels so real. Also, lesbians. 

(Side note: Unlike the other shows on this list, this is not a kids show, and it’s definitely not a happy show. If you’re bothered by blood or people being brutally killed, then don’t watch it.) 

Honorable Mentions

Teen Titans (2003-2006)

This show doesn’t have any gay characters, but its a great show, and definitely caused some people’s gay awakenings

Avatar the Last Airbender (2005-2008)

The show isn’t gay but the it’s sequel is and it also just one of the best cartoons I’ve ever seen.

RWBY (2013-present)

The only reason this didn’t make the list is because I’m not sure if it counts as a Cartoon or an Anime. One of the main characters is canonically Bi, there’s a few gay side characters, and they are hinting at a gay relationship soon, but whether or not it will happen is still up in the air. 

That’s about everything I could think of. If I missed anything please let me know so I can add it to the list (and watch it. I am out of gay cartoons to watch. help.) So yeah, enjoy and happy pride!

[tomatograter]

hey dirkjake guy , what makes you so interested in dirkjake so much ?

if I were to answer this with total accuracy we would be here all day and i’d have to hand you a 60 page peer reviewed thesis but since I don't have that time and i’m assuming you also don’t; There’s a LOT of things to work with if you read dirkjake as more than just… a vehicle for dirkcentric character angst. And they’re pieces actively embedded in the story! That matter! I like building fanwork around a textual basis and these two quite literally go as far back as being part of the guardians setting up SBURB beta in Act fucking 2. You can mine motifs until you’re dead. Here’s a contained, though by no means complete, list of things I particularly like about them:

1) Dirk and Jake both have highly imperfect experiences with their own gender/sexuality, partly out of societal pressure and partly because the story has decided what they ought to be. You've got two gay characters who are both a man in the WRONG way; Dirk overcompensates masculinity so hard he thinks of himself as too brash, imposing, damaging, nearly sizzling arsenic. Jake is expected to be the most perfect dude that has ever Het'd and fails in every feasible way because its not who he's comfortable being. He's not a wife-hunting casanova, He's just kind of a blatant useless fruit. Each of them thinks the other has it together and is doing sooooooooo much better than themselves, though.

I like that even though the adoration is mutual, the relationship is not smoothed out. It's not perfect from the get-go, and it's easier to make it awkward before making it good. We see them at their most immature, they have plenty of flaws, and they're extremely self-sabotaging in the way that isn't "cute" (or romantically convenient) but rather realistically concerning. I like seeing them working through it & maybe relapsing & putting in the effort to be better. They mean a lot to each other but have no idea how to go about it without putting on a show, it's comical to the point of being endearing. 

...And they're still the one person that makes the other feel like more than just a sum of poorly stitched frankenstein parts. 

2) Moving onto The Cringe Axis Of Relevance: Dirk and Jake are inextricable from the overarching plot and cyclical nature of Homestuck itself, Dirk as a motivator and Jake as a escapegoat. You could technically “pin” the “blame” of more than a dozen game changing plot events on them, and sometimes they’re not even aware of it. Beta Jake is HIC’s bastard child, a Dirk splinter is a core component of LE, Jake Harley translates the ancient runes in the frog temple containing the game code & is the one to release SBURB worldwide, eventually going on a time-displaced quest to get the game in motion; Ultimate dirk, funnily enough, is trying to do the exact same thing but much more shittily after borrowing one of Jake’s company ships and copying jadebot’s schematics for the purpose of making a robot daughter to forcefully restart Homestuck, The Webbed Comique, after its over. (Mom lalonde was Grandpa’s assistant & vaguely familial protégé, if you remember. Funny how that works!) And this is just like, in the text. Rose in the candy postscript directly drops it: 

I guess plagiarism is a backwards form of flattery :/

Alpha Jake in turn ends up flooded with promises of giving LE’s his first defeat, kickstarts a thousand little conflicts throughout act 6, brings dirk back to life with a kiss, sends the bunny back in time in the box (he was jade’s secret penpal that far back!), eventually only knocks caliborn on his ass because *Dirk* gets hurt in a fight, then it turns out davepeta is his sprite and actually the one fated to defeat the final boss, and that’s just the major stuff. Alpha Dirk & his dastardly AI-self messily usher the alphas into a new session, we only discover what the hell is up with alpha earth through dirk’s 20 page pesterlog gifted on jake’s birthday, Hal’s existence partly relies on Jake’s unending support- and so does Brain ghost dirk’s existence, for that matter. In big-scale and small-scale stuff alike, they’re tied up.

3) Overabundance of referential motifs: Homestuck is practically a big collage of character-relevant media. You can talk about things like some of jake’s favorite superheroes being similar to dirk, or how dirk and jake’s romance is jokingly compared to the Princess Bride via their planets/personalities/BGD literally quoting the movie and acting out the same sword movements, or how they both have a thing for artisanal puppetry, or how dirk is a history buff while jake is a time-displaced verbal oddity, or how Dirk's concerns with narrative philosophy and clean logic make him squarely Apollonian in certain lit terms & that is perfectly opposed by Jake's haphazard Dionysian approach! Or how Grandpa has an orange-lit room of knights and a replica of Iron Man’s armor (widely known for his fragile heart) to stand in for Dirk while Jake has his knight genre movie posters and dreams up dirk to serve the same role, or how the brobot, built with jake’s help, eventually has a nervous conniption and rips his heart out so it can be used as a battery - and while the moment is reminiscent of aradiabot's blue blood breakdown, the heart is actually the same kind grandpa had installed into jadebot; as both were created to protect someone dearly beloved.

Funny how that works x4

Or just how like, Jake fantasizes about Avatar while kissing a poster but mentally he's having an elaborate dream of putting Dirk in the role of the movie's lead to prove how Awesome And Perfect life can be. Or how brain ghost dirk tells jake he looks good when he's feeling like shit and jake, in turn, says his gay little prince outfit looks pretty sweet and not dumb at all, in a sort of covert pep-talk system covering for both of their masculinity hang-ups. That works too.

4) They're the only ship I can confidently compare to Shrek, the Movie, and make that into insightful commentary.

And lastly:

[terapsina]

So, my favorite books of 2020

To be clear, it's books I read this year not books that came out this year.

Let us begin.

1. A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine - The story follows Mahit Dzmare, an ambassador from a small mining Station that's been sent to the heart of Teixcalaanli Empire (which encompasses hundreds of thousands of planets) to replace her predecessor. And oh wow is the world building amazing in this book. And all she was sent to do is make sure that the Empire interferes as little as possible in her home, but of course stuff hits the fan the moment she gets there. And she has to somehow protect Station secrets, solve a murder, stop a civil war and like ten other things all at once and do it all alone even though that had NOT been the plan when she was chosen for this. And the book makes us both love and be repulsed by Teixcalaan all at once and it's beautiful. Also there's queer women main characters in a story centered around surviving space politics and do you KNOW how rarely I find that in a book?

2. Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - Lesbian Space Necromancers. And their buff lesbian knights in skull face-paint with SWORDS (who hate them, really, hate is totally the right word (this is only like 20% sarcasm, it's complicated)). I can't even describe this book, it's like a mishmash of every genre imaginable, it's both fantasy AND science fiction AND buddy cop comedy (where they hate each other) AND the princess and the loyal knight (who hate each other).

3. The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie - you know I didn't know how much I needed an omniscient rock as the main character from whose point of view to see the story, until I read this book. I have never been so invested in a literal rock (who is also a god). Basically book for people with soft spots for non-human characters with soft spots for humans. One such human being Eolo, who is unfortunately stuck in a story that was inspired by Hamlet (and is the bff of the Hamlet character, also he's trans, and awesome). I want to say more but everything else feels like a spoiler.

4. The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison - One of the most feel-good books I've ever read and I loved it so much. Main character is Maya and he's a half elven/half goblin prince that was never supposed to be emperor. And then his father and all his older brothers die in an accident and what do you know, he's emperor. And he's SUCH a fish out of water but he's also so KIND, and he inspires loyalty because he just. won't. change. that. And he keeps doing the right thing, the good thing instead of following in the expected footsteps of the emperors who came before. But he also grows so much, and learns to stand up for himself. And just, this book is like a warm hug okay? But like, with court politics.

5. Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett - I love this book. You know what one of my favorite genres is? Other than fantasy and science fiction? THIEVES PULLING THE IMPOSSIBLE JOB with a good smidgen of found family trope. This is one of those. Plus set in a fantasy setting with a FANTASTIC magical world building. The main character is Sancia Grado who is hired to pull a job, and then she finds out she might have not been given QUITE all the information. So she ends up needing to save... basically everyone. Also they might end up destroying capitalism, it's everything I've ever wanted. Plus gay girls having crushes.

---

P.S. Also with honorary mentions to some other books I loved just as much but I got tired of trying to describe but yeah seriously look those up too, they're awesome:

Network Effect by Martha Wells (more Murderbot and more ART and more robot friendship where both of them are assholes who love each other a lot), Dawnshard by Brandon Sanderson, Provenance by Ann Leckie, the entire Imperial Radch trilogy by Ann Leckie (I might have read a lot of Ann Leckie this year), The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers (basically Firefly but better, and gayer and with more aliens and less sexism), The Return of the Thief by Megan Whalen Turner (I can't believe it's over but I loved the end so much), The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo (short and sweet and sad and basically magic).

[thenightling]

I wonder if some of the more edgy DC fans ever stop to try to describe their favorite Grimdark comics and realize just how silly they sound when actually described?  

For example: Darkseid (Pronounced “Dark Side”) rules a planet known as Apokolips (it’s spelt differently so it’s totally not “Apocalypse”), and it’s essentially Space-Hell.  And he and Space Jesus swapped their sons and formed a pseudo-truce only not really.  Also he has a henchperson named Granny Goodness who turns children into evil soldiers of evilness.  And Darkseid is so totally scarym and awesome in his dark eviliness, and so badass that he has defeated the entire Justice league and in one timeline he turned many of them into part-zombie / part robots. Oh, and he turned Cyborg into a wall.  

There’s also a God-Moddy, bone-white, muscular, space-biker who resembles a band member of Kiss.  He kills and burps a lot. And he’s really cool. Really.   And his name just happens to be another word for Timber Wolf.

This is why I think people like Zack Snyder take themselves way too seriously.      Hell, I’m a fan of Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman and I’ll happily poke at that.  So we have The Sandman, yup, same guy from the Hans Christian Anderson story.  He got captured by a wizard and his very gay son when they were trying to capture The Grim Reaper.  They keep him naked in a terrarium in their basement.  The Sandman escapes and has to find his stuff he was wearing when he was captured.  The Devil looks like David Bowie.  And The Sandman has a pet raven who is the ghost of a human who used to know a plant-man and briefly had God-like powers.

[popculturebuffet]

Final Space: And Into The Fire Review or Now with 110% More Homoerotic Telepathy

Welcome  new and old to my first Final Space review! If you’ve never seen the blog before, and given this is the first “new” series i’ve covered as it come out in some time that’s probably quite a few of you, welcome. I’m Jake, I do recaps and reviews of various animated shows and comics, mostly just stuff I want to do, often on comission (5 dollars an episode if theres any episode of the first two seasons of this show or any episode of any other show you’d like tos ee me cover), or for my patreon patreon.com/popculturebuffet. And it is my utmost honor to add this show to my rotating roster of shows I cover as they come out. 

I friggin love Final Space. I was intrigued by it back when TBS released the animatics alongside Close Enough (Wth the two shows ironically finally together on HBO max as of earlier this month), for their doomed block. I heard a lot of good things about season 1.. and let it get away from me, not watching it till Season 2. But both seasons had more than enough to pull me in with intriguging characters, even greater jokes and a truly unique idea for a premise involving giant monsters, an edltrich god and lots of cookies. 

So while it took an extra year given Covid, I’m super friggin pumped to get into season 3 at long last after the hell of a cliffhanger, especially since ironically last night I saw Steven Yeun’s oscar nominated performance in “Minari”. Now i get to watch him play a cat teenager again too.. and in a few days Mark friggin Grayson. It’s a good week to be a fan of his is what i’m saying and a good week in general. 

Previously on Final Space Yo!: Since it’s been a year and while the series provides  a recap , I’m going to be doing these anyway so:

Our heroes finally got all 5 dimensional keys and freed Bolo, and in the process also freed Avacato from Invictus, the horrifying entity controlling final space. Meanwhile Tribore got Sheryl to stop being a selfish prick and she joined the team trying to be a better mother from now on. But freeing Bolo came at a high cost as Nightfall sacrified herself as the sixth key (KVN was natrually both Gary and Bolo’s first choice, but was inllegible. ) So we ended the season with our heroes entering Final Space and Gary reuniting with Quinn.... while Invictus loomed. So over a year later we finally get some answers so join me under the cut for spoilers, recaps, and homoerotic text ahoy. 

Something i’m doing since both the roster keeps changing.. and as I correctly guessed from the trailer, and the general tone of the promos for this season, that everyone won’t be all together all season.. or even in one piece.. i’ll be doing a silver age style roll call to let us know who all we have on the Team Squad for the episode Roll Call: Gary, Quinn, Avacato, Little Cato, Ash, Fox, KVN, HUE, AVA, Sheryl, Bolo, and Tribore

So we pick up right where we left off, Gary tearfully reuniting with Quinn, with Quinn wishing he hadn’t come for her, and Gary being Gary naturally having ignored that, and actually been more determined since that made it forbidden which made it extra tempting and him want to extra do it. God I missed this glorious idiot let me tell you. 

So things are quickly interrupted by invictus, who turns out to be a giant flaming head.. thing... and chases them and the crimson light, which has to start speeding with our heroes tethered to the outside, Quinn holding onto Gary. 

So we get one hell of a thrilling chase as the Crimson Light outspeeds the demon head and runs into two titans, but Bolo shows up to take out one, with Mooncake trying his dimension shattering blast thingy on Invictus.. and naturlaly g ven this is the big bad we need to show off how horrying they are, and it does NOTHING. But Gary catches his little buddy so we’re alright. 

Sheryl also shows off her badass bonafieds by LIGHTFOLDING THROUGH A TITAN... granted she still has some parenting skills to learn as “lightfolding while your son is hanging out the back through an edltrich god” really isn’t a motherly thing to do.. but neither is trying to murder your child several times or blaming him for how shitty your life turned out so ANYTHING is a step up for her. 

But.. it’s not enough. While she does manage to kill ONE the Crimson Light is too badly damaged to go on and we get two tragic deaths in one go... The Team Squad is forced to abandon the Crimson Light.. and AVA is too damaged to Upload into HUE. “I’m Sad” “For who?” “For you.. and for us. “ God damn Tom Kenny is amazing. You don’t need me telling you that, but sometimes you need a reminder. 

So our heroes end up on a desolate mystery world, stranded in final space with no ship, no suplies and no hope. The only thing to do now is survivie and hope they can continue the mission at some point. 

ONE MONTH LATER

Things have not gotten any better, as naturally , our heroes have only found weird cartoon eyed worms that regrow their heads when you bite them off. So while this means unlimited food, it’s also disgusting and Garry hates it. “This may be a head but it tastes like a butt”. Quinn and Tribore are with him and Quinn hasn’t been ready to talk about her experiences trapped in this hellscape and still isn’t but being a good dude, Gary dosen’t push her on it. Though the weird red veiny thing on her arm tells me maybe one of you should speed that up before she explodes or gets cronnenburgy. Just saying. I’ll also say i’m not huge on the one month time skip, as while I feel they probably have a reason for being that specific i’ts a bit TOO long and I question why have that long a period of a jump, not the longest but still long enough for things to happen with nothing changingin that time? Still it’s a minor nitpick in an otherwise fantastic episode so I can let it go, I just don’t get it. 

What we do get is some Gary Corpses dropping and Invictius puppeting them... i’m with gary that is bowel openingly scary. I also do like how despite the FAR more dire circumstances, they still get in the requisite shenanigans this series requires. I’ts not to the network mandated subplot levels where it distracts, but it’s enough to help ease the terror of the situation and isn’t around for situations like the opening where it really SHOULDN’T be. As the series always has when something big happens, the bollocks goes away. Once we’re in between we can get back to literal pissing contests, KVN leading a crowd to their deaths and HUE in a pimp hat like god intended. 

So yeah our heroes have to outrun the horrible horde of Gary’s, though Little Cato catches on something’s wrong as Tribore makes gary cary him as foreshadowing for later and Sends mooncake down to asssit. Our heroes escape.. but a cave in happens.

After the break, Gary wakes up confused with the party now split in two: Gary, Quinn, KVN, Tribore and HUE on one side and Avacato, Ash, Fox, Little Cato and Sheryl on the other. So Gary does the logical thing... and take his shirt off telling Avacato to feel him. 

I mean I didn’t even ship them before this scene but... Gary claims because of their bond he can telepahtically connect with Avacato. That’s normal Gary shenanigans.. except not only does he shrug off his girlfriend asking why they can’t do that.. but it WORKS. We have a scene of the two telepahtically talking in a wheatfield that is so homerotic I guarantee there only wasn’t the Careless Whisper sax because they couldn’t afford it.. or their saving it for later this season. Look sometimes you don’t ship a ship because you just.. dont’ care that strongly one way or another and sometimes you just need an incredibly gay scene to see the light. Same thing happened with Weblena same thing here. 

Fox also says “that was glorious to watch” same man. That was freaking art. So our heroes split up into three plots. As usual for me

Team Gary: So yeah... Triobore’s pregnant. No way to really softball into that. He’s been pregnant this whole time. So we get a stupid and mildly horrifying gross out sequence with Gary having to look Triobore in teh eyes and Quinn having to “uncork him”. Which is code for ... you know what i’m not going to say it. If you’ve seen the episode you know and if not your better off not visualizing it trust me. Point is this whole sequence is dumb and the worst part of the episode by far. And the series CAN do good gross out. While Olan Rodgers regrets it, the pissing contest was one of the funniest scenes of season 2, and managed to make a gross idea on paper actually pretty damn funny. This.. this is just “Haha males giving birth and tribore’s an asshole”. There’s no joke here just a .. plug. .. gah.. the vomit is rising let me tell you. 

We do get something good out of this nightmare, Tribore’s son who hatches as the army of gary’s dig their way in, Quanstranstro, who rapidly ages into a stylsih spanish speaking adult badass. He is fucking awesome and a great addition to the team and the sheer.. oddity of his birth is wonderful even if the actual birthing was not. Then the climax happens so before that. 

Team Avacato:

Avacato and Co come across a sleeping giant robot cyborg .. thingy. Naturally Fox wakes him up. Little Cato remains not suprised. It occelates between panicking over it’s legs being gone and amenisa and is pretty damn funny. It’s voiced by John Dimagio. But it gets serious as we find out nothing has ever made it out of final space, and things.. change the longer there there. And Quinn’s been there several months if not a year. Whuh oh. This part is much better both due to better jokes and plot advancment.. though again Quanstrano is still fucking amazing. 

Team Bolo: Bolo meanwhile returns and fights a titan, and has mooncake help him rather htan join the others, but looses, hitting the planet with his body.. I mean he might not get back up.. but the impact shatters the caverns and causes an explosion. Everyone but Gary, Quinn, KVN and HUE are MIA, as our remaining party find earth floating overhead. 

TO BE CONTINUED> 

Final Thoughts: A decent start to the season. Like I said the whole birthing sequence can die in a fire and reminds me of the terrible comedy subplots adult swim wanted grafted onto two episodes.. but otherwise it’s a tense stark opener that sets up the bleak tone while still keeping the series rediciulous shenanigans in tact. It’s the perfect welcome back after so long. I mean the gay telepathy alone would make it a winner. 

Next Time on This Blog: We dive into a little history with HIsteria. See you at the next rainbow.