#[nothing else interesting going on in their life]

[vampmira]

open up what you got in your mind to me. [pt.2 – saja boys.]

they've never met someone like you — a mortal who almost knew them .. better than they knew themselves. for the boys, it's annoyingly intriguing. for the girls, it's comforting.

paring(s): huntrix & saja boys x demon expert!gn!reader

warning(s:) EVERYTHING IN HERE IS A PART TWO TO THIS !! some movie changes, probably effected lore that makes no sense for the sake of the narrative, a little angst at the beginning

request | tags: @blueberrysquire @akariis4snowball @j0ykill

a/n: this is part 2 !! i had sooo many ideas for huntrix that i had to make another part for the saja boys so that it wasn't so long . this part isn't as good but i liked it so ☆☆☆

that night huntrix defeated gwima was a blur. all you remember was the zombie mob of fans, half of the fight, and the use of your aura vision to raise the saja boys above the honmoon before it glimmered in gold. jinu, who gave his newly found soul for rumi, was practically reincarnated through her sword – standing in front of her post-concert, arms open for her to fall into with tears from the both of them. everyone else? well, they felt lost.

the saja boys weren't sure what to do anymore. jinu was overjoyed, of course, but the boys knew nothing more beyond gwima and their mission. they didn't care much about music, nor their fans – which huntrix still couldn't wrap their minds around – and it's not like they had secret human hobbies. they never had time for that. until now.

post-gwima, they stayed in an apartment near the huntrix penthouse, trying to figure out their new lives. for the most part, they spent most of their time under your watch – to make sure they didn't go cause chaos – but also .. under your study.

you were weird to them

they weren't used to someone other than them.. knowing them

their capabilities, their knowledge, their origins.

actually jinu found your extensive understanding of what he is to be kind of comforting

he noticed how you never really drooled over them

you'd stare, sure, but in the same way an art critic would stare at a painted blue canvas with a smeared red dot in the middle

he felt like that red dot – unexplained but you somehow understood

when he told you about his past, it was a lot for him – talking about his cruel choice

but you.. didn't judge him.

in fact, you wrote it down in your notebook immediately, the one you never let the boys get too close to

he accepted you into his life when he entertained your interest in his history

unlike him, however, the other boys were uninterested

at first anyway

thank jinu for getting them to talk to you btw

it took a little bit of convincing – telling them that you wanted to give them something more than just gwima

even though they didn't want it ...

REGARDLESS they hang out around the penthouse

because they're no longer saja boys (uninterested and unsupported by any demon staff anymore)

they really had nothing to do but mildly annoy your personal space

including being the center of your attention when the girls are out

mira gave you one rule, "living room and bathroom. only." and you've succeeded so far. abby and romance were talking by the large scale windows, mystery was playing some game with baby (and obviously winning), and jinu sat in the middle of the couch, watching whatever movie rumi put on for him. you sat beside him, sketching in your one and only personal researcher book. your pencil drew out what you felt like was the final line in mystery's hair ... before you huffed, erasing it, and trying again.

that was... until the littlest demon startled you.

"mystery, they're drawing you." bored of his game, baby peered over your shoulder, only passively curious and really wanting to mess with you. heads turned at your exposure to the room, especially jinu, who looked over your other shoulder at the sketch you did of him earlier.

"you're.. sketching us?" the direct ask made you a bit nervous, especially being under so many eyes. (kind of. mystery was more just.. generally facing your direction.) "'weakness.. chest?' are you taking notes on us?" you stood up, nearly defensive, turning around to face the couch trio.

"if it weren't for your old friends, i wouldn't have to write it all down again." the boys went quiet, remembering the origin of your knowledge and powers. "i'm just.. tired of keeping it all inside. i need to get it out somewhere."

romance, true to his name, leaned over your shoulder, putting you both in a proximity much closer than you've ever had to experience before.

"then why don't we do something.. a little more fun .. to help you get it all out?"

normally sentences like that from him sound way more suggestive than he means them to be

but this time he came up with an actual solution to release your closed up, ready-to-pop-out-of-your-skin knowledge

they gave you a one way trip to infodump station ! an interview !

they wanted to learn more about you anyways

their fellow demons down below were the ones to wipe out your ancestors

not them

and they make sure you know it too

but they can't help but feel .. a little, tiny bit bad that you're now just a living library

a time capsule, holding onto so much information that you're about to burst 24/7

they had never met a researcher honestly

you intrigued them as much as they did for you

how much did you really know ?? did you know anything or is all this antsy behavior a ploy to make it look like you knew everything when you really knew nothing ??

their disguises were perfectly created to make every little fan fall for their attractiveness the second they looked at the boys

but you never drooled at them or had your eyes pop out of your head

you just always... stared. processing. tracing mindfully.

they didn't know what you were really abut. but they were about to find out. and really test your persona.

romance sat relaced in a chair as you circled him, pencil taking note of everything you noticed. how his markings were sharp, not rounded like rivers, how his skin was cooled, not burning hot. all things you already knew, but you found small comfort in knowing not much changed. you took a deep breath around his hair, nose scrunching up. he smiled, taking your cheek in his hand.

"new cologne." his voice was smooth, gentle. traditionally alluring. "just for you. do you like it?" he turned up his flirtatiousness, pulling you in closely, testing the waters of your focus.. before you turned away to start writing, completely uneffected.

"so many generations and you guys still smell like flames.." you mumbled to yourself.

"would you rather we smell like bubblegum?" baby tried to sass you, but you were too focused on the sharpness of his teeth to care. you stepped towards him, eyes widened.

"can demons still tear apart brick with the force of their canines?" you asked, rather close to his face. for a moment, he almost felt like the flustered one.

"yes..? no? i-i don't know." he crossed his arms, childishly. "i don't go around biting bricks." you jot it down still as you move towards abby. he's deeply relaxed, leaning back on the couch, comfortable shirt riding up to expose his famously toned abs. your eyes trail off of your notebook and they think.. they've got you.

"like what you see?" he teases. "you can touch them, you know." a bold move that brings you closer, nails tracing his skin. they're almost disappointed that abby is the one who stole your attention.. before they realize you're attention isn't stolen at all. you're drawing his markings with careful detail.

"where did yours come from? rumi's started forming on her arm when she was a kid, but they haven't reached her stomach yet. they grow with time, right? how old would that make you then..?" you dissolve into mutters they can barely decipher. "oh!! mystery!" he almost jumps behind the couch when you race over to him, making jinu laugh from the sidelines of their attempts to flirt with you. "i've never seen a demon sparkle! that's new.. is that just you? or is there a whole subspecies of sparkling demons? or is it your human disguise..?" your questions nearly overwhelm him, enough to make him forget how he's supposed to flirt with you, but romance pulls you away, whispering in your ear.

"it's not just him." he smiles, hand on your shoulder. "you're sparkling, too, sweetheart." if anyone could fluster anyone, it'd be him, even if it takes two rounds. his thumb runs against your chin. "you look so cute in this lighting, like a rose."

"speaking of which, what's the flora like down there? are there any? do they eat demons or are they like.. regular flowers? we knew more of demons than of gwima's realm. did they smell? i bet they might have.. would it be nostalgic or torturing?"

the boys share a look, and sigh. you went off into high speed muttering again.

you really were everything you said

uninterested in their flirts and more in knowledge

that almost made them like you more..

in the following times after the interview, they greeted you a bit more casually – sometimes cheerfully, asking if you had any new drawings or trivia you wanted to get off your chest

how did you . tame them !? does the whole hard to get thing actually work !?

it confused the girls wildly

but to see them adjusting to being here through someone who actually understood them instead of lying around, empty and lost, was a pick-me-up in the mornings

one morning, after being delivered a coffee, handsigned by the boys, you felt something click in your head, a sensation you had never felt before, and reached to put it in your notebook immediately

"demons, when properly befriended, like to be understood. they brought me coffee. do demons like coffee??"

[one-blaze-of--glory]

to everyone saying this is just how all hyperfixations are: iii wouldn't say so.

I think the main difference is people don't seem to fully understand what this post means mostly because I didn't clarify mostly because I made it as kind of a vent for myself and didn't expect it to blow up.

so what this post was made about is when I struggle to get enjoyment out of other interests that previously made me happy because one interest is overriding everything else to an unhealthy degree.

yes an average hyperfixation is going to cause some dysfunction in your life but it shouldn't get to a level of "nothing else matters there's literally not one other thing that can make me even slightly happy this is the only thing" because at that point it's turning into an addiction.

and then there's people saying they sometimes struggle to even remember to drink and eat which. in short term is hyperfocus, not hyperfixation, it's a different term, but more importantly if that state lasts continuously for longer than a few hours you DEFINITELY need to do something with it that is no longer just neurodivergent things we all experience. that is a problem that you need a solution for.

the bad part of autism they don't talk about is that sometimes hyperfixation does become an exclusive thing. yeah sorry nothing else exists for me right now. "didn't you say you were going to do things" yeah but my brain is having tunnel vision

[vasito-de-leche]

B-Baby Saja dating hcs, please and thank you. I have no money, but I have my love and support!! 🥹👉👈

;KPOP DEMON HUNTERS BABY - Relationship Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons about Baby (Baby Saja) in a romantic relationship.

no problem anon, all we ask is for your heart and soul, nothing too big!

Okay, hear me out. I know it's common to portray maknaes as sweethearts, the cute ones that make you squeal with their adorable antics, but I really like the idea that the roles given to each of the Saja Boys are somewhat ironic--Jinu being the leader, the figure of someone you can rely on and that keeps things stable being actually a liar and selfish person only looking out for himself, Romance being all about love but being unable to truly accept nor commit to a relationship, etc etc. So when it comes to Baby, I like the idea that his cute antics are mostly an act.

He and Mystery are the most difficult members to approach in a romantic context, simply because they have no interest in anyone outside of the band.

The difference between them is that Mystery believes any connection he makes cannot be genuine for many, many reasons, while Baby just doesn't think anyone is interesting enough to let them stick around. He likes the superficial attention and compliments that he can get just by rapping and making cute faces, those are easily accessible! He dislikes the idea of anyone expecting something out of him, the pressure of living up to someone else's idea of him--the vibe I want to portray with Baby is that of someone who is too childish to realize that relationships are a two-way thing, who struggles to understand that some people are worth the effort.

I mentioned in my previous Saja Boys posts that the only way for most of them to be in a relationship right away is through a publicity stunt--being in a fake relationship with Baby takes a lot of patience, due to him going hot and cold, back and forth constantly. Sometimes he has fun pretending to be your boyfriend, sometimes he gets fed up with keeping up with the cutesy nicknames and ignores you for days on end. Sometimes he's blowing up your DMs, asking if he's done anything wrong, why are you ignoring him? Don't you want to hang out anymore? By the way, you still owe him money for that lunch date the other day.

Ideally, for Baby to start considering a relationship, he would first need to consider the idea of opening up to someone as a friend; I think that anyone looking to be close with Baby needs to be someone full of surprises, who can keep up with his moodiness and all of his whims.

There are a million fans who would love to spoil him rotten after all, he can get those any day. But someone who can keep him on his toes? Bite back with comebacks that leave him speechless? That's rare. That's new and fun. I do think that Baby gravitates towards people who are most similar to him, hence why he had no problem following Jinu--game recognizes game, both are people who live for themselves.

And once you have Baby's attention, it becomes easy to earn his approval. He likes you, so obviously you should get the same privileges as him!

He teaches you how to pull the perfect pouty face to get away with anything, how to cry on command and where the hottest hidden spots in town are, always making sure you get the best VIP treatment. Even if you're not into the life of luxury that idols live, he still insists that you keep him company, it's fine if you don't want to buy designer clothes or fun novelty trinkets for yourself, but you have to be there when he shows off his new outfits or this new drone he's bought.

And trust me, he WILL show off in front of all of your friends and family, Baby is the type of person who would LOVE to show up unprompted to a family dinner just so everyone at the table can gawk at the two of you because holy shit you're dating THE Baby Saja?

Movig on to their demon aspects, dating Abby involves slowly coming to see more of his animalistic and demonic impulses, all of the sides he cannot keep hidden because of how excited he is to be in a relationship--but with Baby, it's more like you're finally privy to all the things that happen behind the scenes, like you're in on the joke. His attitude doesn't change a lot, but it's like you're able to see him in a brand new light either way, understanding all the little details because he finally allowed you into his world.

I like to think that Baby's struggle as a demon, or the reason he became one in the first place, is related to how guarded and childish he seems to be--someone who was raised to be great, couldn't live up to those expectations and yet demanded the rewards either way because this is what he was raised for, this was what was promised to him. Why deny him everything now? Why force him on a path with no escape, only to toss him aside like that?

This is why it's harder for Baby to let anyone in, why he struggles with expectations and responsibility of any kind and why he becomes so fiercely overprotective and territorial of anyone that manages to slip into his heart.

When Baby falls in love, he unconsciously becomes extremely clingy with you; sometimes it's his casual cute maknae antics, sometimes it's giving the nastiest looks to anyone who distracts you from paying attention to him, sometimes it's whining into your arms about how you're leaving him alone too often, he wants your opinion on his next rap! Do you wanna hear it? It's a diss track on this guy you both hate! He genuinely doesn't notice he does this, more focused on finding ways and excuses to be with you.

Following his instincts as a demon but lacking the actual drive to get himself physically involved, Baby would have no issue pulling a few strings to somehow push anyone he deems annoying or a threat to your friendship and relationship with him out of the picture--in fact, I can see him fully believing he's doing you a favor by weeding out those who might be a bad influence on you. These people? They want to change you, to force you to do things you don't want! What the fuck is a 9 to 5 job, that sounds awful!

Whereas Abby becomes drunk in the positive feelings you inflict on him, focusing on how to make you happy because you make him happy, Baby focuses more on how to ensure you don't leave him, nor experience any of the things he's lived through. Depending on how close Jinu is with all the members, I can see Baby somewhat adapting the mentality that all demons deserve is to swallow in their own misery for all eternity, but it doesn't extend to you.

Moving on to less intense topics, it's pretty easy for fans to spot when he gets serious about you; he simply stops posting about you as often on his social media. All the cute pictures he takes of you or the two of you together are for his eyes only.

Once you two settle into the relationship, you can pretty much figure out what he wants or is going to say with just a single text. He sends "Hiiii ❤️✨" and you already know he's going to say that if he was a worm, you'd obviously love him but that he'd want you to also be a worm with him.

Another fun headcanon I have about Baby is that he's pretty much a brat and all, but he's not immune to you and basically folds super easily without even realizing--not when it comes to things he likes and dislikes, mind you, there's no one on this planet who can make him do anything he hates, but if you happen to mention your favorite color, then Baby will find himself wearing more of it without noticing. If you mention you like sweets, he just happens to bring up your favorite snack during interviews, as if that had been his favorite brand all along.

[gigiii1sblog]

IN THE GLOW OF HIS WINDOW 001

Warning: contains sexual content, angst, tension, fluff, dirty talk, unprotected sex.

Chapter One: Between Windows & Smoke.

Y/N POV:

I’ve seen him before.

Not all at once, never clearly, always through glass, smoke, or shadow. From the corner of my window. On the edge of my dreams.

Christopher Sturniolo lives in 3B. Our balconies face each other, separated by nothing but air and secrets. At 2 a.m., when the world is asleep and the sky is velvet, he steps outside barefoot and silent. Hoodie on. Cigarette lit. Eyes heavy with things he never says.

He doesn’t look at me. Not directly. But I think he knows I watch.

I’ve lived here my whole life. My mom keeps the porch swept like it’s sacred ground. My dad double-checks the locks every night. Our house smells like lemon cleaner and too much control.

Chris’s place is chaos. You can hear the bass before you reach the hallway. Girls with glitter on their eyelids and no names come and go. Nick and Matt, his brothers are always laughing, always loud. I like them. Nick’s become a friend. He calls me “soft serve” because he says I melt around people I like. Matt barely talks, but he’s kind. Gentle eyes. Crooked smiles.

But Chris?

He’s something else entirely.

He doesn’t speak unless forced. Doesn’t look unless something holds his interest, and that something is never me.

Still, I watch.

And tonight, like most nights, he steps onto the balcony. Flicks his lighter. Takes a drag. The ember glows like a warning. His eyes catch the light, icy and distant, and for a second… they flick to me.

He sees me.

Really sees me.

And then he looks away like it meant nothing.

You should stop watching him, I tell myself.

You’re the kind of girl who keeps secrets in journals, not crushes on the boy next door who’s probably broken more hearts than he can count.

But the thing is… I’ve never wanted safe.

I’ve just been safe.

And Chris?

He looks like danger dressed in apathy.

Like the kind of boy who could make you feel something you can’t take back.

⸻

Nick texts me around 10:43 p.m.

come over loser

we’re doing facemasks and talking shit

I smile, thumbing back a reply before my mom can ask who I’m texting. She’s fallen asleep on the couch anyway, reruns of cooking shows flickering across her closed eyes.

I sneak out quietly. Slippers. Hoodie. No makeup. Hair tied up like a lazy apology.

Apartment 3B smells like cologne and boy. Music hums under the walls, some underground SoundCloud thing Matt found. Nick’s dancing in the kitchen with green gunk smeared across his face and two cucumbers sliding down his cheeks.

“Y/NNN!” he gasps dramatically, tossing me a bag of Hot Cheetos. “The princess has arrived. Matt, bow.”

Matt just lifts his hand in a lazy wave from the couch. “Hey, YN.”

I settle in like I belong there. Because sometimes I think I do.

But then he walks in.

Chris.

Fresh out of the shower. Hoodie half-zipped over bare skin. Curls still damp, clinging to his forehead. A blunt tucked behind his ear like a secret. Blue eyes ringed with sleeplessness and something unreadable.

He doesn’t say anything.

Just… stares.

And suddenly the room is too small.

Too warm.

Too loud and too quiet all at once.

“Don’t be rude,” Nick teases, elbowing him. “You know YN.”

“I know of her,” Chris mutters, voice low and rough like gravel under tires.

It’s the first time I’ve heard him speak to me or about me.

And it lands somewhere deep inside me, sharp and hot and impossible to ignore.

I don’t say anything. Just hold his gaze.

A second too long.

A second too much.

Later, I try to leave, but the elevator’s down again and Nick’s too busy lip-syncing Doja Cat to notice.

“I’ll walk you,” Chris says suddenly.

Not a question. Not a suggestion.

A statement, like a threat or a promise.

I blink. “You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he says. And it sounds like a lie. Or a dare.

We don’t speak on the stairs.

But when we reach my door, he pauses. The hallway hums with the buzz of a dying lightbulb. The air is thick, humid and heavy with something unspoken.

“You always watch me,” he says quietly, eyes fixed on the blunt he’s now twirling between his fingers.

I freeze.

Heartbeat wild.

“You smoke at 2 a.m.,” I murmur, “under a broken streetlight. It’s hard not to.”

His mouth lifts slightly. Not a smile, something darker. More curious. “You write poetry about it?”

I stare at him.

He smirks.

“I see the way you look at things,” he adds. “Like they mean more than they do.”

I swallow. “And you look like you don’t believe anything means anything.”

His eyes flicker to mine.

Something passes between us. A pulse. A fire. A war.

He steps closer. Not touching, but close enough to taste.

“Be careful with that,” he says. “Looking at people like they’re poems. They’ll want to ruin you just to see how you’d write about it.”

I don’t breathe.

I don’t blink.

And just before he turns away, he tucks the unlit blunt behind my ear.

“Goodnight, poet.”

And then he’s gone.

Leaving me with smoke in my lungs and ink in my throat.

I write about him that night.

Not his name, never that.

Just fragments. Smells. Silence. Smoke.

The kind of boy who hands you a blunt like it’s a secret and calls you “poet” like it’s a sin.

I tuck the page under my pillow, like maybe dreams read too.

CHRIS POV: A FEW DAYS LATER

The next few days, I pretend not to look.

But I always feel him.

Like heat before lightning. Like a song you don’t know the words to but can’t stop humming.

I see him again on a Thursday. Balcony again.

Same hoodie. Same flick of flame.

Same glance that makes my knees ache and my stomach tighten in some unfair, dangerous way.

This time, he doesn’t look away.

Just lifts his chin and exhales slow, deliberate like inviting me into the smoke.

And I do something stupid.

I step outside.

He doesn’t speak. Just watches me lean over the railing like I belong in his orbit.

“You always this quiet?” he finally asks.

“You always this high?” I shoot back, nodding at the joint between his fingers.

He huffs a laugh, soft but real. “Only when I don’t want to feel something.”

“What don’t you want to feel?”

He turns to me then. Really turns.

His eyes flick over me like a slow drag. Not hungry, not soft, just curious. Dangerous.

“You ever want something that would ruin you?”

I don’t answer.

Because I do.

And he’s standing five feet away.

He leans on the railing beside me, close enough that our arms almost touch.

“You’re not like the girls that come around,” he says, almost to himself. “They want noise. You look like silence.”

“I’m not sure that’s a compliment.”

“It is,” he says, flicking ash over the edge. “They talk too much.”

“And I think too much.”

He smirks. “So we’re both screwed.”

We stand in silence for a while. The kind that hums. The kind that says too much without saying anything.

Then he holds the joint out to me.

I hesitate.

His fingers brush mine.

And just like that

Match. Spark. Flame.

It burns a little.

Not the weed. Him. The way he watches. The way he lingers when I exhale.

I cough, and he chuckles low. “Cute.”

“Shut up.”

“You like breaking your own rules?”

I glance over, lips tingling, lungs heavy.

“You like testing girls who don’t belong in your world?”

He grins now, really grins. It’s crooked, lazy, infuriating.

“Maybe,” he says. “Or maybe I like watching people crack.”

“You think I’ll crack?”

He leans in slightly. Enough to smell the smoke on his hoodie and something warmer underneath.

“I think you already are.”

He leaves me on the balcony with a smirk and a half-finished joint, and for the first time in a long time, I don’t know how to write it down.

Because it doesn’t feel like a poem.

It feels like a warning.

And I’ve never wanted to ignore something more.

CHRIS POV: A couple days later

I haven’t seen her in three days.

Not really.

Not the way I want to.

She’s been quiet. Blinds drawn. Porch light off. Like someone turned the volume down on her whole world. Maybe she’s busy. Maybe she’s smart.

I’m still waiting. I don’t know what the hell she did to me.

The girl next door, YN.

Soft voice, soft steps, soft everything. But there’s something sharp under all that sweetness. A glint. Like glass beneath silk.

The kind of girl you don’t touch.

The kind of girl that makes you want to anyway.

⸻

It’s around 11 p.m. when it happens.

I’m on the balcony, hoodie pulled over my head, smoke slipping out of my mouth in lazy spirals. My playlist loops through the same three songs. I don’t really hear them.

Then her window lights up.

And there she is.

She doesn’t know I’m out here.

Or maybe she does.

But she steps in front of the window, back turned, her bedroom soft and golden behind her. She’s talking on the phone, barely. Laughing a little. Dancing a little. That way she does when she thinks no one’s watching.

She’s in a tank top. Shorts.

Bare legs. Bare shoulders. Hair messy and piled high. Skin glowing in lamplight like she’s made of something warmer than anything I’ve ever touched.

She moves to her dresser.

Pulls her shirt off.

I look away.

Then I don’t.

She’s not naked, just in a bra now. Straps slipping, like her body doesn’t care who sees it.

And I know I should stop looking.

But I can’t.

Because it’s not even about her body.

It’s the way she moves. Like she belongs in a dream. Like music exists just to follow her.

She doesn’t know how she looks.

Or maybe she does.

She pulls on a big shirt, some oversized thing,now no bra underneath. Stretches once. Her ribs peek out, soft and dangerous.

And then… she turns.

Toward the window.

And looks right at me.

We both freeze.

She doesn’t move.

Neither do I.

My pulse spikes, sharp and sudden, but I keep my face unreadable. Always do.

Her eyes lock on mine, dark, wide, soft. Like she’s not mad I saw. Like she wanted me to.

She doesn’t cover herself.

She doesn’t flinch.

She just tilts her head, the ghost of a smile on her lips, and shuts the curtain.

Slowly.

Like a dare.

I stay there long after she’s gone.

The smoke burns out.

But the heat doesn’t.

Y/N POV:

I shouldn’t have looked back.

I shouldn’t have stood there.

I definitely shouldn’t have smiled.

But I did.

And now I’m lying in bed, skin still warm, pulse still skipping like it forgot how to keep a rhythm. The curtain is closed, the lights are off, but I swear I still feel his eyes on me.

Chris Sturniolo.

The boy who barely speaks. The boy made of smoke and shadows.

The boy who watched me undress like it wasn’t wrong, like it wasn’t enough to break the quiet, but enough to burn in it.

It wasn’t on purpose. At first.

I was changing. Music on. Talking to Madison on FaceTime about something stupid, some guy in her philosophy class who thinks stoicism is a personality trait. I was half-listening, half-dancing. Just me in my little world like always.

And then… something told me to turn.

Some gravity.

And there he was.

Leaning against the balcony railing, smoke coiled in his hand, hoodie up, mouth slightly parted like he didn’t expect me to catch him looking, but wasn’t sorry either.

Our eyes locked.

And everything inside me… tightened.

He didn’t look away.

Neither did I.

I should’ve grabbed the curtain fast, pulled it shut, let embarrassment take the wheel. But I didn’t.

I stared.

Heart pounding.

Lips parted.

I let him see me.

Not just my skin, me.

I don’t know what that says about me.

Maybe that I’m stupid. Or reckless.

Or maybe I just liked the way he looked at me.

Like I was trouble.

Like I was fire and not some good girl with a curfew and a list of rules carved into her spine.

Now, I’m lying in bed, still not blinking, replaying it.

The smoke. The stare. The smirk he almost gave.

And all I can think is:

You let him look.

And God help me…

I hope he does it again.

I hate this so much, I’m sorry if this isn’t good guys 😭😣

@izzylovesmatt @riggysworld @amiraisafreakokaysorry @ansteeze @pair-of-pantaloons @kitty-meow-meow44 @emeraldsturns @sturnslux3 @kalel2005 @sarahsturnn @teheabrams @needchrissturniolobad @my-world-is-poetry @sturniszn @slutforchrissturniolo2 @alinagrace11 @beardedbernard @matthewswifeyy @blindedheartp @crypticallycruelwarden @jaybirdie34 @courta13 @chriss-slutt

@chrissturniolobendmeovernow

[artificial-people-ai]

My two cents on this?

I concur, their stories are pretty similar in many aspects, including SecUnit considering "self checkout" as much as Gurathin said he also did before meeting Mensah (that woman is more effective than the su1vide help line). So the story is quite dark in both cases. Now, having said that, we need to acknowledge that Gura only sees SecUnit like a part of a very painful past that, up to a certain extent, comes back to haunt him.

All mayor interactions so far up to at least Episode 6 when you get to see SecUnit being protective or even heroic (unwillingly, that is) are mostly with Mensah. Now, I don't think either of them see each other in romantic light (Mensah treating SecUnit like one of her kids when it's damaged, and SecUnit being literally asexual and getting along with Mensah because she believes in it as more than a thing, and it seems no one else has up to that point in SecUnit life).

But I do think, from Gurathin point of view, yeah... might look like something else.

Gura is so protective and obsessed towards Mensah (for good reason) that he can't get a being as physically powerful as SecUnit needs (basically) a lot more help than anyone else right there and then. Gura had time to heal, discover he wasn't a monster, SecUnit hasn't. It's still even scared of itself thinking about that 7-second massacre memory from the last refurbishing. Going to lengths like shooting itself so it wouldn't attack anyone else. When it was actively trying to take care of itself and survive alone only days before, but the moment Mensah came back for it and drilled through the "top of the line" unit, SecUnit showed that it preferred to end itself rather than to actually honor its name ("MurderBot").

While Gura is stuck in the habitat, SecUnit is being saved by Mensah, or, saving her itself. So that right there looks like "something it's not", at least in Gura's eyes. He can't be there or be the """hero""" he thinks SecUnit is for Mensah. Gura still sees himself as small, frail, his augmentations while unique, can't compete with SecUnit. Gurathin feels that while SecUnit is there, he's not worth it, at least not enough. And that, right there, becomes resentment and competition.

And how can we forget that SecUnit did interrupted Gurathin when he was going to confess something to Mensah (before they get into the hopper on their way to the beacon); SecUnit was just trying to get going (to avoid Leebeebee's "aggressive flirting"), for it was more like "okay, chop chop humans, let's just get out of here. Beacon. Now.", and while it doesn't have a romantic interest in Mensah, from Gurathin point of view, SecUnit was interrupting the most important conversation Gura wanted to have with her.

And then being actually the one who saved Mensah coming back with her when Gura was contemplating that Mensah (and SecUnit) were dead when the beacon exploded. There's a solid friendship brewing between Mensah and SecUnit, but from Gurathins point of view, it's a threat or competition. It doesn't help either that Gura did pissed off SecUnit to the point it was the only one threatened with a laser to his face and a chocking hand. I mean, it's clear for us why SecUnit did it (tired of dealing with stu.pid humans that see it like it was nothing, or worse, fearing it), but every detail from Gurathin's point of view reinforces his beliefs about the SecUnit needing "to go" for a whole lot of different reasons rather than to see it like someone going through what he himself went through before.

Gurathin's "Do you have feelings for it?" really adds another layer to his dislike of SecUnit.

Though the whole group is still grappling with whether to trust it or not, Gurathin remains the most stubbornly vocal about that distrust and on one level we already understood why. He's a former member of the Corporation Rim, someone who both grew up on the same feeds as the SecUnit engineers—'They go rogue and kill everyone all the time!'—and, as we learn this episode, has been horrendously abused by the Company itself, so why would he trust anything it gave them? One might even go so far as to say Gurathin still doesn't see SecUnit as a person, only a very dangerous piece of equipment.

Except... you don't see equipment as a romantic rival.

We know Gurathin has a rather intense crush on Mensah and who can blame him? She not only forgave him when few others would have, but she turned his whole world on its head, providing him with a new purpose and autonomy and love when he was very close to giving up. That's the level of devotion that inspires sneaking into her bedroom to smell her pillow, or staring star-struck across the dinner table, unable to think of a single critique. Gurathin loves Mensah and Mensah obviously loves him... but not in the same way.

Now toss SecUnit into the mix. Here's Company property that scares the shit out of you and as if that weren't enough, the woman you love is being so nice to it. Not just that, she's seemingly prioritizing it over you.

"It feel like it's going through something" vs. I'm going through something.

Running to talk to SecUnit vs. I was the one who was just threatened.

"I feel we can trust it" vs. I thought you trusted me?

"You need a MedBay" vs. But you won't get me to one because SecUnit advises otherwise, right? (Notably, Gurathin doesn't seem to be conscious when Mensah makes the decision to leave anyway, with or without SecUnit).

There are a lot of other moments like this and from our perspective we can see that Mensah is treating SecUnit similarly to how she no doubt treated Gurathin six years ago. The parallels between them abound, including being slaves to the Company who only start to demonstrate true autonomy after meeting Mensah. Gurathin still has a lot of healing to do, but after so many years he's in a better place than the slave that has just admitted to some level of personhood (not to mention the practical issues of them needing SecUnit to defend them), so of course Mensah is going to prioritize it to a certain extent. She's trying to help it the way she once helped Gurathin, but Gurathin is still so damaged and so JEALOUS that he can't conceptualize, "Oh. She's giving SecUnit what I was once lucky enough to receive."

He can't see that, so what comes out instead is, 'You have feelings for it don't you?' Because what other explanation does he have? If SecUnit already 'stole' her attention and her high opinion, why not her romantic love too! I don't think Gurathin would have ever asked that without the fever lowering his inhibitions, but I don't think the fever caused that worry either.

Gurathin makes me insane because I just want to scream, "SecUnit is you! It's you! It's not your rival, it's a mirror of who you were six years ago! You're not in competition with it, you're the best person to help it because you know something of what it's gone through!! You get to pass the torch, Gura, and help Mensah help someone else!!!!"

[rotagnus]

who has a crush on youuuu. . . [pick a pile!]

some specific person from your lifee!!! i'll try to describe each energy w/ specifics that may not apply to each person...i will specify when this is! enjoy. as always, if this does not resonate; do not force it to. i may not be the tarot reader for you.

guys i'm so excited for summer! i can already tell i'll be in my introspective era and i'll be trying to heighten my senses and my time more to spirituality, so i will most likely be more active on here, especially between mid-july and mid-august.

p1.

this person tries to be nonchalant and they fail, most of the time...the only time they're trying to be CHALANT is when they come off as nonchalant. all around, they're a huge weirdo, but i mean that in an endearing way. genuine. has hobbies. has a life outside of work/school. may be in the beauty/entertainment business or simply have interests in those spheres...think soundcloud rappers (💀💀💀), aestheticians, dancers, people who practice singing/dancing, music lovers, etc. they're very invested in whatever they love. deeply loyal. not so self-aware, though. they contrast you because they're not necessarily on a constant journey to better themselves, and they go with the flow. in their opinion, life lessons come regardless of if you look for them or not. they want that old-school kinda love, if you know what i'm hearing. they have fashion from a specific decade, too; they're all about nicheness. you won't catch them changing styles very often 'cause they know what they like (YOU 🫵🫵). they're not in the middle of anything...on extreme sides of spectrum. so think either really long hair or really short hair, really dark eyes or really light eyes, etc. they may have light skin, though. as for personality, they're very controlling, not necessarily in a bad way...but they hate seeing people do shit that's worth NOTHING when they know they can do better. they're deeply loyal and a bit egotistic, so i'm definitely getting fire sign. but they probably don't believe in spirituality, astrology, etc. but they may have a deep faith in one of the abrahamic faiths is what i'm hearing.

p2.

artsy and obsessed with being special. this person hates being like anyone else and may do things to stand out on purpose...like have a unique physical appearance, or they may have been the funny kid way back in your high school years. they are actively healing their need for attention though. they didn't grow up privileged or rich, or with a silver spoon in their mouth. but when they were young, they had big ass dreams. if anyone knows the song 'eastside' by halsey n benny blanco, this is them vibes. they literally clawed their way out of pain and came out stronger, so they do know how to be humble. if they have high opinions of certain aspects of themselves, it's because they know that they're worth all that. they are willing to do anything to get what they want, but with people? they struggle with connections. they have a very empathetic mind, but they may view relationships as something analytical from childhood. looks wise, i believe they have darker hair, short-medium length, probably styled a specific memorable way. they might be fussy about the way that their face looks, so obsessed with skincare n stuff. they are risktakers. they don't play around and this person is genuinely obsessed with striving forwards. they probably grew up with parents that told them to work hard, and that's exactly what they did. they are relentless optimists. may not be good at saving money. obsessed with underground tiktok trends. people may think that they're hard to be around but if they truly like someone, they become to most lovable person in the world.

p3

this person is literally on fire. nothing about them is calm. well, on the inside, anyways. they may come off as guarded and cool, but there's always something going on in their life. they're very determined people and would do anything for love, and they may have sought it out in ways that ended up hurting them, i.e through sex, drugs, money, hobbies that are physically/mentally harmful. they've been betrayed and backstabbed several times throughout their life. what they like about you is that the version of you they have in their head contrasts them...they think you're completely pure and innocent, that your energy is entirely sweet. they have mommy issues. however, they can be real gentle with people that they like. probably because they don't want that to be reciprocated, because they're very guarded and they wanna love and NOT be loved. something about them physically is bright. their eyes may carry a lot of emotion, or there's one specific physical aspect that stands out from the rest. other than that, i think they blend in. they don't try to stand out because they do, enough as it is. they're a good friend and they stick to their little circle. they also have a good gut sense throughout life, and may use this rather than devote themselves to a specific faith/way of living. they can be prideful. good at the things they do, but they always feel like they're never good ENOUGH at those. suffer from anxiety. this person makes or breaks their life; even though they want somebody to save them, the only one who can is themselves.

[peekofhistory]

Hi! Love your Tumblr! I'm fascinated by the fact that you are in China making and playing the Guqin, I was wondering if you can share a bit more about yourself and your background and why you decided to move to China? Like a self intro (that you're comfortable sharing). Thanks and have a nice day!!

Hello :D

How I ended up in Yangzhou learning to make/play the Guqin is a rollercoaster of a story xDD

As for my background, I was born in China (Beijing) and moved to the US when I was around 6 yrs old (my mom had moved several years earlier and I went to live with her). From the start my mom emphasized I can't forget I'm Chinese, because that's where I'm from and where my family's from, so she put in a lot of effort teaching me Chinese. She even had a colleague send over elementary school textbooks from China so she could teach me Chinese at home. She also got recordings of some Chinese TV shows and she'd watch them with me, explaining each episode and giving me information on that period of history.

Back then there weren't that many TV shows in China, and the ones we could access in the US were even less, so it was mostly classics shows like Journey to the West (1986), Dream of the Red Chamber (1987) and Romance of the Three Kingdoms (1994):

That really planted the root for my interest in Chinese history and culture. Especially in the case of Romance of the Three Kinggoms that was based on the actual Three Kingdoms period in Chinese history, it made me aware of how long China's history was and how rich and colourful it was, all the incredible historical figures, the battles of the past, the stories, etc.

Later on I also became interested in Chinese Opera (mainly Peking Opera, Huangmei Opera, and Shanghai Yue Opera):

We moved to Canada after a few years and stayed there until I graduated uni. I then went to Japan to work for a few yrs.

When I returned to Canada, it was 2018 and I found myself having to start all over career-wise. My experience in Japan really didn't help me at all when job hunting in Canada, and I ended up doing a few entry-level jobs in healthcare (office admin work). Then Covid and I lost my job, found another job about a year later, but still entry-level.

It was actually during the Covid break that I found out I could buy Hanfu fairly easily now. Throughout my time at uni and in Japan I didn't really check Chinese websites so I didn't know much about what was happening in China. During the Covid break, with nothing else to do at home, I found Taobao and realized the pretty clothes I adored in TV shows as a child I can now buy :D I went a bit crazy at first and ordered a whole bunch, but at the time I honestly didn't know too much about Hanfu aside from long robes, large sleeves, criss-crossed collars. But it was fun to wear them out (once lockdown ended) and actually feel like the characters I once saw on TV:

The job I had just before I came to China I actually really enjoyed, the work itself was fulfilling, the pay wasn't great but OK, and my co-workers for the most part were pretty good (my direct supervisor was great, I really, really enjoyed working with her). Unfortunately there was some changes to staffing in the office and the workload became really bad. I found myself literally having nightmares about work, and crying driving to and from work everyday. I decided I needed to quit. It was taking over my life 24/7, I was constantly tense and dreaded having to go to the office every morning.

At this point I'm in my late 30s and I took a few months to think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Either look for another regular office job that may or may not be better than the last, or try something completely different.

At the same time, I decided to take the chance to visit my family in China. Without a job, I could visit for a longer period of time (otherwise I could only get 2 wks paid vacation). I remember my mom mentioned during one of her visits to China she had met a master of woodblock printing (雕版印刷/diaoban yinshua). It was the first form of printing invented, they would carve out pages of text (or images), put ink over top, then print it onto paper:

This was even earlier than movable type printing (活字印刷/huozi yinshua) where each character was printed on a separate block so you could arrange them as needed:

This master's workshop took in apprentices and would offer free housing and food. After a certain amount of time, once the apprentices' work reached a certain level, they were even given a salary for their work.

I thought that sounded like a great plan. I didn't explicitly come to China with the goal of finding a place to do an apprenticeship, but I was aware this sort of opportunity was available, and it aligned with my interest in Chinese history and culture.

When I arrived in China last year I spent a few months visiting my dad and other family, before I ended up in Yangzhou.

There were some emotional ups and downs in between, I did find a woodblock printing master, I started to learn a bit with him, it didn't work out, etc., etc. But essentially I found myself in Yangzhou with nothing to do.

Yangzhou is quite famous for Guqin (there's an entire street here dedicated to selling Guqin...although it's a bit of a tourist trap ^^;;) , and I thought I could find a teacher to learn how to play the instrument at least. I had bought a Guqin years ago in Canada, but was always too busy/lazy to actually learn/practice it, but now being free everyday I decided I could do some sort of intense course. While scrolling through the Red Note app looking for Guqin teachers I came across a post of a teacher looking for students to learn how to make+play Guqin, with the option to live at the workshop and have housing and food covered:

And my eyes lit up.

That was how it all started :D

The biggest obstacle is honestly some family members. Growing up abroad, I've never really had a close relationship with any of my relatives in China. I've also never had to navigate the complicated family relations that Chinese families can sometimes have. If I were to go to any other country in the world to learn something, none of them would say anything, I don't think they'd even think about it, but because I'm in China a lot of them suddenly feel they need to express an opinion about my decisions, lol. Some don't like my interest in wearing Hanfu, some think I'm crazy learning something that "no one else these days is interested in", some think I'm immature/irresponsible not finding a 'regular' job and 'wasting' my time. Luckily, none of them live in Yangzhou so aside from a passive-aggressive text message/phone call once in awhile I can do my own thing 😁💖

[beetle-ze-bub]

I have this Au idea based on The Deal by Mitski cause for whatever that feels like a Stan Pines song and I can't fully explain why.

Anyways, basically, during Stan's drifter days he stays in some pretty unusual places with more than a few weird characters. So, at some point or another, he somehow hears about this deal you can make with the Night itself. Midnight, walk alone, etc, etc. Just like the song.

Stan has never been one to believe, or even just be interested in spirituality or magic or whatever; that was his brother. But he decides to keep the story in his back pocket, if for no other reason than to have an interesting story to tell people.

But maybe at some point when he's feeling like he's at rock bottom, after something especially bad happened (idk the Tijuana incident or the trunk, or losing his kidney, something like that) – and/or while drunk – he decides, 'Fuck it, I got nothing else to lose', and decides to try the deal just for the sake of it. The worst that could happen is nothing, right?

Like in the song, he tries to give away his soul, because he really is pretty sick of all the hurting and the pain and shit. Also reasoning that, since nothing will likely happen, he might as well go big.

This is where it diverges from the song somewhat. Because for what he'd take I think it'd depend.

If he was drunk and/or in an especially bad spot, I wouldn't be surprised if he said, like the song did, he would only take the consequences. But, at the same time, I think he knows enough about bad deals to realize that if – on the very off chance this is real – he's giving his soul away, it should at least be for something good. Maybe he'd ask to get Rico off his back, or for that million dollars, or make it so he never broke Ford’s project (though I feel like this isn't likely as even in its divine grace, the Night can not change the past. Maybe Stan would even get a feeling somehow, as though the Night tells him this.), or even just to keep Ford safe and/or happy. Idk rn, but yeah.

After the deal is struck, Stan feels lighter somehow. Like something is missing. It's not bad that it's gone. It's not good either. It's just missing.

He'd probably still have the same talk with the bird, but after that I feel like he'd keep drifting across the country. Not out of a need to escape, or hit his big break, but just instinct. Habit.

He'd probably still call his mom, but it's almost professional in how he talks to her, clinical. There's no attachment there, really. He loves her, or at least likes her, to some degree. But it's muffled and smothered, and so, so quiet that he can't make out the sound of it anymore. Like a soft tap at the back of his brain, so light he can hardly recognize it happened. He can't say for sure whether he'd feel much if something happened to her.

Maybe Ford, depending on what Stan wished for, suddenly finds the night welcoming. Something caring and kind and protective of him in a way he can't really explain. Obviously it can't be, it's the night; just a time of day. It's not doing anything. But he still can't help but feel that way.

Or maybe even his life has suddenly gotten so much better. He's suddenly been offered a bunch of grants, people are vying for his research or his reviews of their work. He's being offered hundreds of prestigious positions and people are dying to have him give interviews or lectures. And while Ford is obviously ecstatic, and riding the high of all this praise and his accomplishments being recognized and getting everything he's ever wanted (what about his brother?), he can't exactly… remember, what he accomplished or published that got him all this attention.

But that doesn't matter! He's sure it'll come to him! He's just too focused on his now busy schedule, that's why he forgot. After that he has to get back to his current anomaly research too. But he's sure it'll come to him in time.

Again, depending on what Stan wished for exactly, and even what time he made the wish, maybe Ford sends the postcard to Stan again; whether it's about Bill or something else, idk. But when Stan comes something's wrong. It looks like Stan, talks relatively like Stan.

But he's empty. As though he's been drained of everything Ford remembers made Stan Stan. He was ready for a hot-headed, angry brother. Not this… shell.

If Ford still opened the door with his crossbow, he would be visibly surprised, sure. His eyes widened, his mouth opened in shock, he even took a step or 2 back. But there was no scream. There was no snarky comment or angry blow up at his behavior. If Ford still shone a light in his eyes Stan still pushed him off him and frowned, but he only said “Stop that.” in a mildly upset voice. When Ford apologized Stan said “It's fine”.

…And that was it. No biting remarks or angry glares. Just an awkward silence as Ford stared at this facsimile of his brother.

When he tells Stan he has to show him something he wouldn't believe, he only asks “What is it?” Even when staring the portal down, while, again, he is shocked. It's only in the generic way you'd see in something like a stock photo, or some guide book on emotions. Only in the basest, least-effort way you could get someone to understand you were displaying shock.

Because that's what it felt like, Ford realizes. A display. Like the emotions weren't real. Or if they were, they were so shallow that might as well be. The display wouldn't even last long. The briefest of flashes before fizzling out unceremoniously and disappearing completely.

Idk maybe something something, Ford finds out what happened somehow, goes bird hunting in some fairytale, fae esque trial of character way or something. My main idea was the Stan making the deal and the empty birdcage Stan that comes as a result.

[nobylerdoubt]

I’m pretty sure everyone has already noticed and pointed this out but I still want to anyway but when things are back to normal and Mike and El are trying to be a normal couple, besides making out they don’t exactly have much going for them in terms of chemistry, shared interests, or just having a strong connection in general that doesn’t tie to trauma from the supernatural events, like what would they’re future even look like together if you throw away the whole getting married young and having children that these weirdos in the fandom keep fantasizing about.💀

It's true - let's look at everything Mike and El have connected over over the course of the series - besides physical touch.

Season 1:

Ted's Lazy Boy

Finding Will

The TV?

Bullying? (Where Mike tries to hide that he got bullied, El reminds him friends don't lie, and says she understands.)

El sticking up for Mike and Will by humiliating and beating up said bullies.

Mike assures El that she's not the Monster.

El saves everyone's life and disappears, Mike feels bad about it.

Mike likes that El needs him (he feels useful) and El's powers are sick as hell. El isn't interested in Mike's toys or games, and When El takes an interest in Nancy being pretty/Nancy's things, Mike disagrees but tries to remain polite.

Season 2:

💀

Bitchin

El being alive

Snow Ball?

Mike doesn't even know El is alive. And while he longs for her - to make sure she's okay, wishing she were here - El starts to develop a one-sided idea of what relationships should look like based on soap operas she watches at home. Mike planted the seed of the idea in season 1, but El was the one who watered that seed and made it grow.

Season 3:

El being alive

Um

uh

well...

Mike and El spend this entire season making out, fighting, or in Mike's case, half-heartedly trying to get back with El. Mike has to basically be held by the shoulders by Lucas and steered toward the right direction, because he knows so little about El and her interests and who she is as a person, individual from their relationship - that he has no fucking clue how to make things up to her. Aside from a hastily admitted "I love her" - these two have nothing going for them this season. I mention in this post that a huge part of the reason El gets back together with Mike at the end is in an attempt to keep something normal in her rapidly changing life.

Season 4:

El being Mike's "superhero"

It's even noted at the beginning of episode 2 that Mike isn't super interested in any of the activities El has planned for them. The only moments were Mike feels more determined in their relationship is when he's trying to defend her from her bullies and later the cops - and it's not enough. He fails. Mike needs to be needed and she doesn't need him. And when she does, he fails. Mike iterates multiple times throughout the season that El is a superhero and she feels inadequate because she doesn't have her powers and isn't a superhero anymore. But Mike doesn't actually want El to be a superhero. HE wants to be the superhero. Aside from that the only coupley moments this season are when both of them are trying to pretend nothing is wrong and everything is normal.

Meanwhile there is someone else who is constantly talking to Mike about things they connect over. Who makes Mike smile with fantasies of playing DnD and Nintendo for the rest of their lives...

[vbluesss]

I gotta admit, I'm really surprised by how the dynamic between Rick and Morty has evolved throughout the show.

At first it was a super one-sided relationship, where Rick was the genius, totally in control, dragging his grandson into messed up situations without caring much about what happened to him (except for those rare moments when he actually did care), Morty on the other hand, was the "dumb" sidekick who didn't know anything an was constantly humiliated, not just in adventures but in his everyday life (I’ll never forget that memory where Rick pushes him down the stairs just to embarrass him in front of some girls).

What's interesting is that since then Morty started develop this deep resentment toward Rick, and unlike his mother and sister, he did not idealize him, he saw Rick for who he really is.

“I wanted you to have a normal life, that’s something you can’t have when Rick shows up.

Everything real turns fake. Everything right is wrong.

All you know is that you know nothing and he knows everything.

He’s not a villain, Summer, but he shouldn’t be your hero. He’s more like a demon, or a super fucked up god.”

Whe the purge episode came out, I thought that if things kept going this way, Morty might actually end up killing Rick someday. Not in the sense that he would become Evil Morty, it's just... He was clearly full of repressed rage.

"Fuck you Rick! I'll purge you too, you old rickety piece of crap. This has been a long time coming! I'm gonna rip your fucking guts out and smear them all over you face!"

Then the third season premiered and in the very first episode, Morty shot Rick with the intention of killing him! Scenes like these made me so invested in their dynamic, but especially in Morty's development. Sooo here's a little analysis about it!

In early seasons, Morty hated Rick. He totally wanted to kill him at some point, but ofc he wouldn't because:

He was kinda ashamed of this violent part of himself.

Rick is his granda, and if only because of the family bond, he still cares about him.

We're talkin' about Rick Sanchez, motherfucker, like Morty ever stood a chance (or at least that what Morty thought, since we now know that it is not impossible.)

Anyway, the point is Morty was seriously done with Rick's crap, but it's not like he had much choice. They're family, and on top of that, Morty did enjoy the adventures. So he just tolerated it.

Thing's went on like that for a while, Morty started standing up to Rick more and more, and often paid the price of Rick's ego (The Vat Of Acid is the best example) but they always had a strong bond, bla bla bla.

But let's not to forget how Rick constantly manipulated him. I still remember this lines:

"I just took over the family Morty- and if you tell your mom or your sister any of this I'll deny it, and they'll take my side because I'm a hero"

"You can die when I say so. I control you. I control the universe!"

Just adding to the whole "Rick is a god" thing. Morty is perfectly aware, better than anyone else in the family, that Rick is a bad person and had a lot of power over everyone. Up to this point he even handled abandonment quite well, Beth and Summer were the ones who seemed more affected by it.

Still, Morty admires Rick. He needs him. He wants to be around him. As Rick had his moments of real care and and saved Morty, not just for convenience, but genuine affection. Also they got along pretty well.

In "Rest and Ricklaxation" it's even said outright that Rick has an irrational attachment to Morty, and I'd say that Morty also has an irrational attachment to Rick! Because again, he knows who Rick really is. But after so many adventures and those tiny moments of kindness, he can't help but cling to him.

Over time, Morty got more of his own voice, going from being a simple sidekick to being a companion (but not totally equal), and for his part, Rick started to respect his grandson more too (even if the power dynamic hadn't totally shifted)

Then their relationship becomes straight-up codependent.

Let's not forget the crows! That episode wrecked Morty emotionally, and man, I get it! The whole thing about being replaced was nothing more than an empty threat, the crows a way to annoy him. Until it happened. Rick replaces him and dumps him. Then when Rick comes back it's not even for Morty, it's because the crows dumped him first. But Morty still chooses him. Why? because he has no one and nothing else.

Even when Morty has the chance to start a new life far away from Rick, he choose to stay. The truth is that chaos and adventures with Rick is all he's ever known. How do you walk away from the one thing you've built your identity around?

Then S6E2, "Rick: A Mort Well Lived" happens. Morty's most independent, self-aware part gets trapped in a video game... I always feel that like a loss, but I guess it was necessary in some kind of way????? Idk... Anyways, I really liked the direction they took with Morty's codependency and fear of abandonment. After Marta (Morty's fragment) choose to stay in the game, I feek like Morty become more dependent on Rick.

But it's not just Morty who changes, it's also Rick.

Before the crows leave him, he ends up learning a bit about empathy (I think that's what it was) and recognizes that what he and Morty have is toxic, blablabla. I won't expand on this because the analysis is focused on Morty, not Rick, but I want to emphasize the sentence he says in S6E10, "Ricktional Mortpoon's Rickmas Mortcation"

"You called me boring! I've become dog shit to you"

Rick realizes he's lost control over Morty, and acts like the victim because he feels like one. Their bond is more damaged than ever because there is no balance between them. Things were tense since before the crows, add to that the revelation that Morty is not Rick's original grandson, and the Prime oobsession. Things keep spiraling... Still, by the end of the episode Rick brings Morty into the Prime hunt.

Now that I've already mentioned Prime we can go back to Morty, because after they finally found him and Rick got his unsatisfactory revenge, Morty was left marked by Evil Morty words:

"What happens if Rick actually kills this guy? You ever think about that? Maybe he'll kill himself next."

Next episode we see that Rick stopped having adventures for a while to start drinking too much, clearly depressed after the events of the previous episode. Again, this shakes up his bond with Morty.

Past all this, we finally get to one of the best episodes! The first one that really focuses on Morty's psychology: S7E10, Fear no Mort.

(SIDE NOTE: Before that! Something super important happens earlier: His breakup with Planetina (S5E3). Remember what he said to Beth?

"My whole life I've never fit in anywhere. Everything I have to say is always met with an eye roll, as if the act of hearing what I have to say is some exhausting chore. Nobody in this family thinks I can say or do anything right. I've been all over the universe, meet hundreds of people, and Planetina's the only one I've ever meet that makes me feel like I belong."

In Morty's words (and as we have seen throughout the series) there's no one, not even his own family, who doesn't treat Morty like he's an idiot. Everyone just seems tired of dealing with him. Morty always noticed it, cause he's not dumb like people thinks he is. It's not until he feels he's finally formed a real, honest, loving and (in his eyes) healthy connection that he confronts, in this case, his mom for trying to break them up.

The part “Planetina's the only one I've ever met that makes me feel like I belong” reflects more than just teenage love. It's coming from someone who has been ignored, treated as annoying and irrelevant by his classmates, teachers, his family, and also, of course, Rick too.

Honestly, I think that after the breakup, Morty became even more emotionally vulnerable. Like, it made him cling to Rick even more because, as awful as Rick can be, he's still the only one who actually spends time with Morty, that listens to him (even if it's while complaining), and shown Morty that he matters to someone, even if it's just so Rick can use him.

When Morty breaks up with Planetina because she killed innocent people, his idealized, perfect vision of his girlfriend finally shatters. The problem isn't that Planetina killed people (Rick has already done that, even Morty killed before), the real issue is that there is no way to sustain this unrealistic vision Morty had for her anymore. She was supposed to be his safe space, something outside the caos. But after that, there's no way he can keep pretending she's who he thought she was.

This leaves a mark. And in the end, Morty goes to adventures with Rick as usual.

At this point, after so many adventures and failed relationships, Morty has internalized so much Rick's worldview. Since the pilot, Rick's been planting the idea that it should be just the two of them, going on adventures together forever and ever. Rick and Morty at 100 years, an emotional trap disguised as a fun promise of adventures from which Morty cannot escape, not only because circumstances have molded him to adapt Rick's vision of the world, love, his own worth and morality, but also because a big part of his identity revolves around Rick).

With all that said, we can finally talk about Fear No Mort!

First off, when they "come out" of the hole, Morty notices Rick staring into it looking genuinely sad, so he admits he's afraid of being responsible for his sadness.

"Hey Rick, you just looked real sad, which I’m afraid of. You know, of being responsible for your sadness.”

Then, once they're back to, Morty imagines basically an entire life with Rick by his side. At this point Morty can no longer project himself, even in his imagination, without him! And then it hits him: Rick was never really there in the first place. That's when Morty finally figures out what he's truly afraid of:

"I know what I'm afraid of! I'm afraid that you'd never say that [that he is irreplaceable] in real life. I'm afraid that if I jumped into a hole, you wouldn't even bother jumping in after me. You'd just stand there and watch. This entire thing has been about me! You're not even in the hole, are you?!"

THIS MOMENT. THIS IS THE EXACT MOMENT WHERE IT BECOMES CLEAR THAT MORTY IS EMOTIONALLY DEPENDENT ON RICK. His fear of rejection doesn't compare to his fear of meaning nothing to Rick, and the fact that his entire life now revolves around him.

The fear of relying on Rick.

So! Morty's no longer the same scared kid of early seasons who got dragged into adventures against his will, and slowly started resenting his grandpa to such extent that (in some moments) he thought about killing him. Not because he truly wanted to, deep down, but because the anger and frustration took over.

Now after everything that has been though (being replaced, literally losing the most rebellious part of himself, and suffering from a broken heart) Morty's now fully Rick Sanchez's grandson. Someone who enjoys adventures, no longer hesitate to kill people (his whole moral compass is another topic on its own), and who is totally unable to let go of his grandpa because is all he has, but also the only thing he wants too, since there's nothing better out there or on earth waiting for him.

Morty isn't trying to escape Rick anymore, he just wants to be loved by him.

The issue is that Morty reached a point where he needs Rick to feel like somebody. Right now he's emotionally dependent on Rick in an extreme way. It wasn't always like this, Morty used to care about him (or at least respect him), but he also kinda hated him. Thanks to all his arc and now that Rick's been slowly changing in recents seasons, Morty can live with this, even with his doubts and with the conscious fear that Rick doesn't love him or might leave him again, he's so hurt at this point that he'll take whatever Rick gives.

So yeah, we've gone from a Morty who was aware Rick was hurting him and still called him out, to one's who's fully resigned to this life.

(I bring back the scene where he had the opportunity to leave his life with Rick behind when Evil Morty offered him a way out of the Central Finite Curve. Rick admits that's the best option cause he has no plan, and we see the exact moment when Morty resigns and decides to stay with Rick, DESPITE what happened with the crows).

And you know why? Because Rick is changing too. Slowly, painfully, but it's happening. And Morty doesn't love Rick because he's good.

He loves him because that's the most he can expect from love.

To conclude:

Before, Morty had normal concerns. He wanted to go to school, be with Jessica (I miss her), and form a life like any other teeanger. Rick was something he tolerated because he was his grandpa, but clearly not the center of his life.

Now, that changed completely. He doesn't really have those desires anymore, now, what he wants is to go on adventure. He wants to keep exploring the universe with Rick, because its the only he has left and also, it's become the only thing he's truly passionate about. I'm not saying that he cannot fall in love again and be a regular teenager someday, but his priorities have shifted.

He genuinely enjoys those adventures, but specially enjoys being with Rick. He respects him, admires him, challenges him, understands him... and even with all the pain, he wants to stay by his side. For a 100 years.

Wow! this got way out of hand. It all started when I was like "Man, I miss when Morty used to stood up to Rick". Then the new episode dropped, and hey, turns out current Morty is confronting Rick again! I know they had arguments before, but that was mostly because their bond was super tense, almost broken. And in those fights, Rick always played the victim and Morty ended up feeling bad, like he was the one in the wrong. But now, in the first episode we get a clearly parallel between Morty and Evil Morty (that's a different topic I could go on about- I'll just say I think it perfectly shows why Morty would never become Evil Morty: because he loves Rick). And in the most recent one, beat the crap out of Rick for being an asshole, totally deserved.

Their behavior in this episode really made me think, it’s like Rick and Morty’s personalities are kinda... swapping places. Morty’s turning more into Rick (stronger, more assertive) and Rick’s becoming a bit more like Morty (more human, more vulnerable) But neither of them has stopped being who they are at the core.

Also, I gotta say, I love how their relationship is way more balanced now! Rick actually treats Morty with a bit more respect, and Morty’s pretty much on the same level as Rick when they go on adventures. They finally see each other as equals and treat each other like actual family (a super dysfunctional one, sure, but one that’s trying to get better). Honestly, it’s been a really nice shift. And that’s what surprises me the most.

I’ve been a fan since the beginning, and I NEVER thought they’d canonically turn their relationship into something this wholesome, because this show’s always been about tearing down traditional stuff: love, good vs evil, heroes, family, all that. But now? They’re actually giving us this slow redemption arc. Not just for Rick and Morty, but for the whole Smith family, piecing themselves back together from all the damage. Ooobviously Rick and Morty’s relationship isn’t perfect, but compared to how it all started? It’s honestly too wholesome sometimes. I used to think it’d stay toxic and abusive forever!

I just really hope that with Rick changing now, they don’t forget about Morty’s growth. Just because Rick’s evolving doesn’t mean Morty’s wounds magically disappeared. He faced his fears down in the hole, but that doesn’t mean he’s over them, he’s just living with the trauma now. (Even the line at the end of the new episode makes it super clear Morty’s still scared, or so I think.) But I'm sure they won't ignore it. We’re still seeing Rick fall into that self-pity mode, and Morty is aware of it.

I’m genuinely excited to see where they take things from here!!!

Anyway, there’s so much more I could’ve talked about, but it was 3 a.m., I was half-asleep and my body hurt all over, plus there are already tons of deep dives out there about their dynamic. What I wanted to do here was just focus on Morty’s evolution. That’s my little contribution! [:

[sgartiste]

I need to put this out there now or else I’ll never put it to words. A month or so back, I gave my recommendation for A Tale Of Ice And Smoke by SooperSara while I was in the middle of reading it. Back then I was on Chapter Twenty-Something and at this point I’ve finished it and

OH MY GOSH THIS FIC IS AMAAAAZIIIIIING!!!

First of all, Book 1 of the series is complete and has been adapted into an audiobook narrated by the author herself. Barring a few overlaps in the voice clips (;P), it’s incredibly well put together and the author represents and distinguishes the cast incredibly. If you’re interested and willing, please, please, PLEASE give it a listen.

Imma start talking about the plot itself now, so spoilers if you wanna check the fic out yourself.

So, a friend of mine introduced the concept of podfics to me a little over a year ago, and decided to check a decently sized one out to explore the genre. I chose ATOIAS because, one, it was a fandom I was familiar with, and two, it was my favorite subgenre of fics, that being girlboss roleswap AUs. (my beloved) To put it very simply, it’s basically ‘what if Katara was the Avatar?’. The story revolves around her perspective and her experience as the Avatar throughout all of Book 1, and makes damn well sure to differentiate what this role means to her from Aang. Who is also in the fic, to be clear. And also the Avatar. 

EH!? TWO AVATARS!? EHHHHHH!? So basically Aang died in the iceberg after 84 years and Katara became the Avatar, and then she encountered him in the North, and accidentally used some Avatar mumbo jumbo to bring him back to life. It was an interesting, and admittedly off-putting idea. I originally felt it detracted from the main premise, but SooperSara makes sure to both take full advantage of this plot point and ensure that this story is still very much Katara’s. It’s important to remember that a very important part of a good fic that readapts the original’s plot is to make the bits distinguishable enough to truly make their story their own, and as — especially as — the plot progresses, the author does that very well.

Let’s talk about Zuko. Zuko, Zuko, Zuko. The author ships Zutara HARD. Don’t blame her, it’s peak. Katara/Zuko was a relationship mentioned in the tags, and I was totally fine with it, but little did I know at the time, the fun girlboss roleswap AU fic was just a poorly disguised Zutara fic! To be clear, there is NOTHING wrong with that. At all. I don’t usually go for slow burn fics  barring a handful of ships I fixate on. Zutara is not one of them. That didn’t stop me from growing addicted to the relationship. 🫠 

For starters, Katara’s role as the Avatar is unknown to most of the population, as most people think it’s just Aang. The only ones who know it outside the Gaang and a couple of characters who catch her in the act, are Zuko and Iroh. So Zuko now has to both capture Aang AND Katara to complete his mission and return his honor and yadda yadda yadda and he has to do all of this without stirring suspicion lest a certain Zhao spread the news and try to take over his mission. So Zuko immediately has a strong and unique connection to Katara compared to canon which is the real basis behind the butterfly that leads to the growing relationship. He focuses his pursuits on her and her responses are muuuuuch different than Aang’s, usually by giving him an earful or the occasional fistful whilst the latter would usually attempt to disengage. That’s another thing. SooperSara really knows how to make the cast feel like the kids they are. The squabbles, sputters and scowls (:P) by all of the Gaang make them all feel so natural and in character and it really strengthens their character, especially in Katara and Zuko’s sense. The former is petty and the latter is grumpy and the dynamic between the two of them is just so, SO endearing. Anyway, Zuko ends up being as much of a protagonist as Katara as the perspective constantly changes to his and much of the most important emotional beats involve his time with the reader. Aang and Sokka also get some focus, and their characters are certainly not ignored, but Zuko and Katara are the backbone of what makes this fic so good.

The first quarter of the fic is a retelling of the first half of Book 1, while taking some creative liberties to alter certain plot points, and that was all fine and dandy and exactly what I expected, but the plot takes a BIG change during the adaptation of Episode 15 where Aang and the group have their falling out over the map to Hakoda except Zuko and June actually succeed in their mission to catch the Avatar mainly because the fight with Aang has increased meaning for Katara and Katara is actually Zuko’s primary target. The augmented drama ends up with Katara stuck on a Fire Nation ship for… quite a while. Like… for weeks. Like… the second quarter of the 80-chapter fic is in this boat, mainly in this cell. It’s a very small, tight setting. And I was initially very impatient as to when this chunk would be over, wanting to go back to ‘episodes of avatar but katara is the mc’. What I didn’t realize was how this new setting would be the perfect place for the relationship between Zuko and Katara, as well as Iroh and Katara for that matter. The way she’s so self-defeatingly and dangerously defensive in the beginning and the efforts Zuko went to make sure she didn’t end up killing herself in the cell — by keeping her in Iroh’s company — were admirable. And Katara slowly comes to realize that Zuko, despite himself and his own feelings, is, at the very least, a very decent and complicated person. And Zuko is constantly conflicted by how much he finds he cares about not only his prisoner, but the other people around him as Katara constantly calls him out and gets on his nerves in their verbal skirmishes while still showing each other respect. In the end, they’re both kids, and they were thankfully raised on good morals despite their actions. Katara’s animosity between him for his actions, calling him just as bad as Zhao, remains until he ends up saving her life when Zhao blows up Zuko’s ship. I was initially a little detached from this change, constantly wondering which chapter would be the end of this tangent, but the growing bond between these two seemingly incompatible kids had somehow snared me sometime within. The chapter where Zuko returns Katara’s necklace was the first time I have EVER cried during a fanfic, and that was only enhanced by listening to the audiobook. (Another reason to go listen to it >:[)

So, yeah. About that. Preceding The Siege of The North, Zhao dismisses Zuko’s crew and basically destroys his mission to capture the Avatar all in his father’s name, and after attempting to blow the prince up as well as his newfound doubts of his mission via Katara being herself (in the most annoying way possible) Zuko is practically broken. He survives the explosion and stows away on Zhao’s ship with Iroh and when the plans to attack the North become apparent, Zuko, good-natured, guilty, and disillusioned by Katara’s constant questions feels a responsibility to protect and prepare the Avatar for the oncoming invasion. Not necessarily because he likes her or anything… o_o …but because his own conscience, now clearer than ever, recognizes that this attack is wrong and he has to do something about it.

The entire second half of the 80-chapter fic is in the Northern Water Tribe, which I was actually happy with, especially after how my feelings changed after the Fire Nation ship. It meant we’d get to spend more time with Yue and see Katara grow as a waterbender, and it would help strengthen the character and relationships between the rest of the Gaang. It takes a bit for Katara to actually get to train, Pakku being Pakku, but it really feels as if it pays off by the end. And Zuko. Zuko, Zuko, Zuko. He shows up much earlier than in canon to warn Katara, albeit with no real plan past that… because he’s Zuko. So when he’s found, which is thankfully very quickly, Katara drags him by the ear and sticks him in an ice pit for the next twenty chapters. In that time he becomes acquainted with the Gaang and soon gets dismissed as a threat. They talk, they bond, they spar once Zuko is allowed out and the relationships get plenty of time to develop and solidify in ways that never could’ve been possible in 20 minute episodes while still maintaining an enjoyable pace, which is impressive considering this is 40 chapters that represent 2 episodes. Zuko and Katara’s relationship carries the whole thing. Zuko’s awkward, angsty and bad with feelings, and Katara’s ill-tempered, spiteful and wears her emotions on her sleeve. They’re kind of perfect for each other. The perfect people to talk to — read ‘argue with’. Seeing them feel so much responsibility and connection for each other (though, not quite love [yet]) more and more is an addicting feeling.  While I won’t spoil the ending with the Siege, I will say that everything that’s happened wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for Zhao being an asshole. So thank him for the Zutarany goodness.

But seriously, this is one of the best fics I’ve indulged in, and certainly the best one I’ve ever listened to. Author’s in the middle of Book 2 right now, which I have admittedly not begun, but I’m really looking forward to reading it.

tl;dr, came for the girlboss, stayed for the zutara. 

also sokka says fuck. 10/10 would recommend.

[thatneoncrisis]

i would loooooove to hear more abt ur opinions on kpop demons... i will admit i didnt like the movie overmuch but the vibes of your idol (the final villain song) have me by the throat

also bird with a little hat =]

uuuh ok compliment sandwich. also spoilers if you havent seen it go do that

the only songs i didnt like outright were soda pop and the ballad between rumi and that boy, and even soda pop is an earworm so it was doing its job. i dont listen to kpop ever so as an outsider it was pretty good

i thought the autotune on the first song of the movie was way too harsh, i also didn't think golden was great as a This Is Our Magnum Opus song

however they topped it with This Is What It Sounds Like so i can excuse it

the humor felt really Really babyish, like young elementary school and i never really got adjusted to it. just a lot of yelling and "hey look its hot women doing gross things like eating a lot and. yelling" it felt like the worst of butch hartman at times

it never felt like the movie was Trying to purposely trick me or do a subversion but there were still moments where i was suprised. like i did not think this thing had the balls to kill the love interest permanently

i retched openly every time those damn boys were on screen. sorry for being a hater lesbian or something i could not pretend they were cute they were so nothing to me

that tiger was perfect my friend and i cheered every time he showed up

the manager bobby and the stepmom felt like the shriveling vestigal limbs from an earlier draft of the movie. its so odd that celine isn't physically there like 90 percent of the runtime what is she DOING. it felt like they were setting up an arc for bobby to properly betray the girls but it just collapsed and he just flips when everyone else does

the fight scenes were a treat to watch, i was never a winx club kid but it was giving a lot of that

im gonna be honest when my friend and i first saw the glimpse of lover boys past we thought immediately that rumi was his daughter. "that was 400 years ago" completely ignored that but also maybe they had a magic excuse idk. anyway the point was for the first 3rd of the movie we straight up thought a plotpoint was that this guy was trying to connect with his long lost daughter but fans keep shipping them bc hes a sexy hunk. so simagine my surprise when they not only play the romance straight but the little girl was his SISTER. HELLO. this isnt the movies fault my expectations were skewed

the tagalog version of how its done clears. go listen to it right now

there were non comedic moments where it hit me that this movie is in fact for babies, like when the girls are talking about their insecurities and it is the most tell dont show shit ive seen in life like if just feels like this movie never has Time for anything. "im a problem child you guys accept me" IN WHAT WAY. YOURE FUCKING NORMAL GOD AT LEAST GET A SHITTY VOICEMAIL ON THE PHONE FROM YOUR MEAN DAD OR SOMETHING. they kept Teasing me with characterization that barely exists in the film like rustling a bag of dry kinble telling me its fresh salmon

the third act of this movie got me hype in a lot of good ways. rumi begging her step mom to kill her. the boys singing be your idol. the girls singing their new song ugh it just all came together i love dance fighting i love baddies i love music i love art and animation i love that ugly boy dying i love the new outfits i love a crowd of people powering up ancient magic i really FUCKING love turning red

rumis face reminded me of those online free to play make up games where you put masks and cream on someone with a unibrow and yellow teeth and pimples and rashy dry skin and make them look like 30 insta filters. i know this is literally what kpop girls look like but since she was animated and also standing next to her bandmates with more inique faces it kept throwing me off

every though i wish some things got more time i felt like this movie moved at a pleasant brisk pace. i was never checking my watch during a scene something was always happening. even the tonic man sets up the whole thesis of the movie

[shedelulululu]

omg 33!!!

33. things you said from across the room (full list here)

light smut | M | mel is a bit tipsy! | 2.1k also on ao3

Mel liked to party. Unfortunately life had other plans for her. Halfway through undergrad she lost both her parents in a matter of 6 months, unrelated causes. Overnight she became a Real Adult, she had a sister to take care of, bills to pay, tests to study for.

She didn’t resent Becca for the invites rejected, and rejected, until they just stopped coming. She could never feel that way towards her. But, she still felt like she was missing out — on friends, potential boyfriends or situationships, beer pong tournaments, getting high and watching Nathan For You surrounded by giggling friends. She wished she got more sleep, that she ate better, that she had more room to try things — more room to make mistakes. It’s not the life she dreamed of — would anyone dream of losing their parents? — but it’s still good, she’s grateful despite it all, because Becca is her best friend, and how could she not feel full when she makes her happy.

So when Becca gets invited to a sleepover with one of her new friends at the centre, Mel jumps at the chance to say yes.

“Are you free Saturday night?” Santos flicks her head to Mel who approached her left. An open mouthed smile pulling at her lips.

“Why Melodrama? You finally ready to switch teams and admit the big fat crush you have on me?”

An aggressively fond smile forces itself on Mel, powerless to suppress it. “I do have a healthy respect of your girlfriend” — “ you mean fear” — “and I’m quite happy with my ‘team’ thank you.”

Santos gave her a disbelieving look, questioning the mere notion that any straight woman is happy with her options. She shot back one of her unimpressed frowns.

“Ugh you’re no fun…just one kiss?” the frown deepens “yes I’m free, you need help moving or something? I’m great with a u-haul” she shoots finger guns in what Mel has decided in some sort of disarming technique.

“No… Becca has a sleepover —” Santos eyes light up, unable to resist interrupting.

“Did you give her the Talk?”

“It’s not that kind of sleepover—” Mel implores.

“I’m just saying she’s an adult too and she’s not disinterested, you’ve seen her romance novel collection”

Mel blinks a couple times “you really think…? I guess it couldn’t hurt to refresh.” She shakes her head, refocusing the conversation to her initial plan “I’d like to take you up on your offer to go out. I’m inviting Samira and Langdon — no complaints.” A beat “invite whoever you want, just not the new med students, I don’t think they like me.”

Santos salutes her with a puzzled look “Aye Aye King!”

Mel glances at the board, thankful Dana is not at the central hub or else she’d realize was Mel was not actually finding a patient to pick up. She was calculating, given a set of symptoms, the time admitted, the nurse on the case, she could figure out with near certainty which room Langdon was in at any given moment.

Central 11. Kid with a rash.

She stands just outside, pretends to review a chart but the screen was off.

He emerges from the room, med student in tow, going over the differential diagnosis. He notices Mel as they’re discussing the treatment plans. He flashes her a smile. Quickly schooling his face, he gives instructions to the med student, sending them on their way. She should really learn their names.

“Need something, Mel?” he asks, leaning against the wall, “got an interesting case?”

Seeing the light in his eye as he imagines what kind of complicated case would have her seeking his advice as a PGY3, almost makes her feel bad that she she has nothing of the sort to offer.

“I do have a request, but it’s not work related”

His brow furrows “is it something with Becca?”

“Yes!” she replies on instinct “oh but not like that” she cringes a bit “Trinity found out Becca has a sleepover on Saturday—”

“Did you give her the talk?” he waggles his eyebrows, gleeful at the idea of Becca doing something about her myriad of Centre crushes.

“Why does everyo— I have Becca handled, thank you. As I was saying, she forced me into agreeing to go out with her and I’d really appreciate the back up.” She gives him a small smile, looking up at him through her lashes — Samira had told her that he wouldn’t be able to say no to her if she gave him this look.

He runs a hand down his face, an aggrieved sigh escaping his lips “yeah Mel, I got your back.”

She beams up at him, “I’ll text you the details!” She rushes away to catch up on patients before Robby catches on to her lacklustre performance today and starts asking questions.

Mel loves the music. She loves that it is dark. And she loves the way she feels after 2 gin and tonics and 1.5 tequila shots.

Parts of her mind feel quiet for once. The voice telling her that bodies jostling around her burned like a brand, instead feel comforted by the union of a crowd brought together to dance as individuals, all together. Which is perhaps a generous description for what was occurring in a club, on a random Saturday, in Pittsburgh — but she felt good, and a little romantic about life.

She really missed this.

Well, not this part.

Mel invited Langdon for a reason, between a little liquid courage on her part, and an aspirationally enticing outfit — Samira helped her get dressed, she selected a white a-line mini skirt with two small slits over her thighs, and a powder blue one shoulder crop top — surely one of them would finally crack. Mel is tired of them dancing around each other, every day at work, most days off work, for nearly a year now.

Mel did not anticipate her outfit attracting the attention of people other than Langdon. Yet here she is, cornered by a strange man while the rest of her friends were off to god knows where.

She didn’t know his name, honestly she couldn’t tell you if he had introduced himself. She could only hear her mind screaming how wrong he was. He is just a bit taller than her, sandy blond hair, dull grey eyes, and a very clammy hand that just wouldn’t leave her shoulder no matter how many times she pointedly shrugs.

She is searching over his shoulder, really how did he think she was at all interested in talking to him, looking for Samira (outside, texting someone), or Santos (making out with someone to bring home to her girlfriend) — she isn’t confident Whitaker could help, no offense, Which left one person.

He isn’t close, but there is a direct line of sight from where she stands to where he leans up against the bar — chatting with the bartender who happened to have been a frat brother of his.

He is staring at her. A problem, usually, but right now she couldn’t find it in herself to complain, because she really needs him.

She widens her eyes at him, mouthing a brief “help me” before returning to a conversation she did not ask for.

“Sarah!” she hears his voice and is confused by the name, shooting him a look.

He waves his hand, gesturing for her to play along. “Sarah, I haven’t seen you in what 5 years? I can’t believe that’s really you!”

She looks up in awe as he uses his body to push out what’s-his-name, positioning himself in front of her, and it doesn’t even read as aggressive. She envied him for this; she always felt flustered, or shut down in the face of conflict, and he was always so cool about it, unflappable. On top of all that, it was unbelievably hot to her whenever she was witness to him telling off patients.

“Um, yeah just in town visiting family and friends” she keeps glancing to their right, where who-cares-who has not yet gotten the hint to leave.

He sniggers to himself, turning towards the nameless man “hey man, can you leave.” It is phrased like a question but Frank’s voice leaves no room for interpretation, it’s an order.

She laughs to herself, watching him walk away, disappearing into the crowd sheepishly.

“Y’know we could’ve been the ones to leave?” she says, laughter still lacing her voice.

“Maybe, I like this corner” he says with a smirk.

She’s smiling still, but she squints at him, searching for an answer. She feels like he is trying to flirt with her, but she couldn’t be sure.

“Thank you for getting rid of him, by the way.”

“Anytime Mel. I’m surprised he didn’t pick up on you not being interested—” she could feel his eyes skating over her legs, her chest, her lips, “maybe he just didn’t care.”

Mel hates being dishonest, with herself and with others. She has never been good at hiding her feelings anyways and holding this in, pretending whatever this is wasn’t happening, is eating her alive.

“Why aren’t we dating?” she blurts. The additional half tequila shot doing it’s job.

“Jesus, Mel.” A helpful response. He would regret it later, but right now his brain is frozen.

She pouts “I really like you Frank, and I know I’m really not the best at reading people — I’ve been informed of at least 4 people I didn’t realize were flirting with me. But I like to think I’m pretty good with you, and I think you like me too” she takes a breath, shoulders sagging, “and I’m really tired of almost having something. So — is there a reason?”

His gaze darkens, moving into her space, a sharp ledge digs into her back, his leg slotting between hers. His hand skims across her waist, the other cupping the nape of her neck.

“I guess not” he whispered, closing the distance between them. She hikes her right leg around his waist, arms looping around his neck, pushing herself even closer to him.

It is like everything clicks into place having him like this. Lips that were always made to slot against hers, finally finding their way home. His body sliding into place with hers, engulfing her in a way that she never knew could be so addicting.

He moves his attention to her neck, nipping, sucking, kissing. It feels like her body is on fire. His hand travels to grip her bottom, a faux move to readjust her position.

It’s involuntary when she whines as he detaches himself to look her in the eyes.

He squeezes her cheek twice, a confused and cautiously excited look on his face.

She bites her bottom lip, her face heats up, but her eyes never stray from his “I—uhm, I’m not wearing underwear.” She rocks against his thigh, chasing any sort of relief as her pleasure builds.

His jaw is hanging open, if Santos could see him she’d call out the ‘stupid’ expression on his face. He moves his hand just a bit further, just under the short hem of her skirt.

“Oh, you hate me” he groans.

She grabs his wrist, pushing his long fingers towards her entrance.

“I think you’ll find evidence to the — ah! — contrary” she struggles to maintain her composure as he easily pushes two digits into her, soaking and relaxed for him.

She can’t remember now why she was ever so afraid, it seemed like with everything else, nothing was difficult when it was with him. She could never lose her confidence in his hands.

“You — you are something else sweetheart,” he nudges her down onto his denim clad thigh, encouraging her to grind. He grins when he sees the dark line forming on the fabric. “I can’t believe I denied myself this for so long” he kisses her again, briefly, peppering kisses up to her temple, “didn’t think I was right, like I deserved you.”

“Mm—! Don’t, ever” she’s panting lightly between words “make a decision like that for me ever again.” She bites his earlobe, kissing down his jaw to work on his neck.

“Mel, baby, I will do anything you want for the rest of our lives, IF you leave with me right now because I’m not giving you an orgasm with Whitaker 30 feet away.”

She laughs brightly, smiling up at him as she disentangles their limbs.

“My apartment is empty, and I could really use someone to fill it.”

He shakes his head, smiling at the ground as he processes her double meaning.

“Lead the way Melibu Barbie” he lays one hand over her shoulder.

She rests her hand over his, chuckling, “oh that’s a good one!”

[writingjourney]

How do you think a Rook x Emmrich romance would have been different if she had been one of his students?

Oh boy. Put on your seatbelts for this one (also… mild 18+)

I think, first of all, it depends a little on how directly involved he was in her teaching. Just a lecture here and there? Hm, not good, no, but it’s doubtful anyone would care in the long run. But we know Emmrich is INVOLVED in his teaching. In the game he talks about how important close supervision is, how he prefers smaller groups so that he can cater more individually to his students, and now, hear me out, if Rook was someone that he’d been working so closely with this man would have the most intense existential crisis to ever exist. Full on meltdown wondering about his own sanity at this point. What man of his academic caliber would ever fall for one of his students?

Sure, this attraction to her should not matter in the grand scheme of things, not when the Gods threaten to destroy life as he’s known it. Rook has been working with Varric instead of taking her classes and who knows if she’d ever go back to any of those he’s involved with. They could definitely find a way for this not to happen, he’s got the connection, could get her under supervision from someone else. And he can calm his doubts insofar as to remind himself that he was not into her before all this, not before he got to know her so closely, there was nothing untoward. But then, is this true?

Every interaction with Rook – or, just Ingellvar at the time – would be viewed through a different lens. Is it true that he never noticed the intensity of her gaze, the specific colour in her eyes? The beauty of her smile when she directs it at him? The way her fingertips dance across the pages of a book when she’s so focused on reading, the materials he presented her with? Memories flicker in his mind, of her visiting him during his office hours, how their eyes met across the lecture hall, the way she’d linger with other students after class and how he’d nod at her to say his goodbyes, the smile she met him with. Nothing feels quite so innocent anymore, in retrospect, and he wonders if anyone ever noticed, if his colleagues or the other students already think him perverted.

Naturally, he vows to never act on these new-found feelings, lest anyone ever finds out.

But oh, Rook does not share the same hesitations. When you’re on a death mission, really, why care about propriety? Or, has she ever really cared? And no, at first she doesn’t notice how he’s fighting with himself every time they touch, how he’s half-mad with want and half-mad with disgust whenever she flirts and he flusters like a teenage boy. The worst, however, is that he can see that his hesitation is hurting her, how her interest in him seems to go beyond superficial flattery for a teacher in hopes of a good grade.

No, she confirms their connection is genuine, that her interest is genuine, and he’s tempted to push it just a little farther, take her back to the Necropolis under almost-false pretence, show her around the memorial gardens, careful to avoid anyone they know. Just… out of curiosity, of course, and because it is her home as well. It won’t hurt if he introduces her to his parents, an eager student who he gets along with. It’s only after that outing that he notices he’s in way over his head. The way she’d reacted to his opening himself up about his fears was everything he’d ever hoped for, the way she never flinched back, put her hand on his arm to squeeze in comfort without knowing just how welcome her touch was.

From then on, he can’t stop thinking about her and these thoughts are sometimes so inappropriate that he’s shaking whenever he tries to suppress them. It spirals, then, the oh i should not and the oh but i want to. and he’s touching himself to the thought of her, not even purposely, but the image of her mouth just so happens to pop into his head and he comes so hard he almost blacks out. Only for then to have a proper meltdown, tears involved, until Manfred hears him in despair and fetches Rook because he’s so worried. Emmrich snaps out of it so fast but he’s mortified to even attempt touching himself from then on.

And Rook? Well, he doesn’t tell her and he’s not going to indulge his need for her reassurance. But it’s harder and harder to stay in control of it and he does not want to lie to her, not when his forced distance is already causing her brow to crease in that sad way every single time he pulls back. So when she touches him the next time he lets it happen, when she compliments him he smiles with a little more charm, and it’s a bit of dance to keep it hidden until he knows that it’s working out (not to anyone but them, really, they ALL know). This could be an academic suicide if he's not careful and despite it all he is still scared of his mortality, of their age difference and the fact that this could be such a fleeting thing, but holding her hand is healing something inside of him and every hour they spend together makes him feel a little more like himself. How can any of that be so bad?

So, yes, eventually he can’t resist taking her on a date, though he won’t call it that, and he can’t resist kissing her, showering her in gold and compliments and love. And through it all he gets protective of her in completely new ways. Because if anything, this is his burden and he never wants her to be the subject of rumours and whisper and gossip. He does not want her to think he’s ashamed of what he feels for her or that he does not want people to know, so I do not think, once they actually move forward, beat the Gods and commit to each other, that he’d keep it secret.

No, at this point, it is a selfish thing and he's assured enough that their love transcends any such obstacles. I think he’d be very firm on standing his ground, making sure that, if she wants to continue her education, it will be with a safe professional distance from him, and if not? Even better, he’ll support her in whatever else she’s set her mind to. But under no circumstances will he let anyone sully their relationship by painting it as dirty, inappropriate or worse. Because no matter what happened before, Rook is his now, his to love, his to please, his to show off – and he takes that very seriously.

[notasapleasure]

I can't get over this one lads

Think about how ID documents work in star wars. In the OT it's implied people have docs that can be checked but the people doing the checking are always the Empire. There's some weird code shit in the mandalorian that I assume is post-endor new republic bureaucracy.

In Andor there's so little expectation people will be carrying ID, and so little interest in it in the vastness of Imperial Space, that one of the ISB's most wanted is jailed as Keef Girgo and no one assumes anything else about him.

So when we're told there's some expectation of work permits/visas on Mina-Rau, who do we assume is checking them and enforcing their legitimacy (or not enforcing it, as is implied, because the undocumented workers are so necessary)? How does one obtain the permits/visas? From what authority? Talia's been there eight years and is apparently legit. How do you become legit on Mina-Rau? Years worked? Can you count your undocumented years?

Are we to assume a local agency has been dealing with the paperwork on behalf of the republic and then the empire, turning a blind eye to undocumented arrivals and helping them enter the system to keep it propped up? But now the Empire's taking more of an interest in the details. Why? Are they looking for anyone in particular? Are they against cheap and vulnerable workers being exploited? (lol) Are they...trying to space!deport people to...??? Where they Came From??? Why? To what ever-loving purpose? When the people of Mina-Rau seem pleased to benefit from them and more welcoming than most rl communities would be?? (Is it just because they're Evil™️?)

WHY, all this being the case, is Mina-Rau the planet undocumented workers go to???? What are the ultimate benefits? The galaxy is VAST, you could go anywhere and no one would give a flying fuck what paperwork you did or didn't have, whether you called yourself Keef or anything else! Especially if you're a ship and weapons mechanic. ANYWHERE in the galaxy.

Maybe you're escaping home on a ship without a hyperdrive and it's the best you can do on short notice. But then why stay there?? If you're a wanted fugitive from a planet within sublight travel distance?

Go anywhere. It's not even that the lack of documentation makes you vulnerable it's that you're hiding something and you need something. You could be working for anyone with a ship yard and if they decide they don't like your attitude they might see if their local garrison has any interest in you.

But if the local garrison sees nothing of interest - if, like the census team on Mina-Rau, we're to assume some imperials aren't fully au fait with the ISB's most wanted list - then you're free, after a fashion, aren't you? Unless you're on a planet with an unusual obsession with documentation.

Maybe Mina-Rau is a hub in a galactic people smuggling ring and you don't get any say where you're dropped off - they need the workers here and your lack of documentation keeps you powerless.

Maybe Mina-Rau truly is paradisiacal and the crops give off pheromones that get you high and the little green hills where the locals (when they're granted permission to become locals) live are built on ambrosia and milk and honey, and people really will risk everything for the chance of a life there.

Maybe Oxfordshire fields are cheap to film in, it's easy to fling about the word 'visa' as a shorthand audiences will understand without thinking about too deeply, and the writers weren't at all interested in embedding their story in the star wars setting.

'the Imperials have left Mina Rau it's safe now!'

you do understand that the thing about a census is that it will get repeated, right? probably with greater frequency under an Empire with an incentive to root out 'illegals'

also i'm so happy there were no consequences for that stolen TIE fighter shooting the place up. literally why did we bother with any of that

'every bit of land is used for crops there's no space for a garrison'

not even in the city Lt rape mentions? Not even in orbit? You've got to get the grain off the planet, you're telling me there's no Imperial hand in the export process?

'it's the breadbasket, it represents growing things for the future'

yes, arable farming is a paradisical existance, that's why everyone wants to take it up, especially the illegal migrants with no other option who are open to exploitation on every level

--

feel like I'm going insane, my man literally points out to Kellen that the Empire is pulling this shit everywhere, but let's double down on the utter pointlessness of that plot and Brasso's death to pretend Mina Rau is an idyllic and safe place to raise an undocumented child excuse me while my eyes roll out of their sockets

[dimonds456]

Gonna say something controversial.

Ford Pines is a nuanced character who is neither good nor bad. Absolving him of his crimes is actively a detriment to his character and does a disservice to the storytelling of Gravity Falls, but defining him exclusively by his mistakes without taking the time to understand him is a purposefully bad faith take that actively makes your enjoyment of the show worse.

He is neither a good or bad person, because "good" people and "bad" people aren't real. There's just people. And people fuck up sometimes.

If no one fucked up and if no one held onto those fuckups sometimes out of sheer desperation, the world of fiction would be way more boring, unengaging, and dull.

Ford Pines is a mess and I don't want him to be sanitized or demonized. I just want him to be a mess.

Thank you