#`terrible taste gotta change it to something that I personally like´

[rpclefairy]

𝐁𝐆𝟑 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

a selection of lines from the various companions' banter quotes (not cut scene dialogues!) from baldur's gate 3. these are generally spoiler free and non context specific so they can apply to different settings and dynamics! feel free to change names and the like to customize the prompts.

“Death can't have me. Not yet…”

“Calm yourself. There is plenty of me to go around.”

“Realmspace is vast. Countless worlds to be mapped, kingdoms to be conquered.”

“I have missed this. The adventure. The danger. The kicking of butts!

“Let me guess - you need something.”

“Such attention.. I never realised I was so popular.”

“Let's cook with fire, baby.”

“Do you intend to vocalise every thought?. Or just the most obvious ones?”

“Wherever we go, ye gods let there be something green.”

“Careful, or I will take your toy away from you.”

“Watch your elders and learn.”

“Perhaps try attacking the enemy?”

“So much we don't know, lingering in the furthest reaches of existence.”

“All the world's my stage and you're just a player in it.”

“The shadows are my friend.”

“Yes, yes, have your fun. It isn't you they're trying to kill.”

“Feet planted firmly on Faerûn, please.”

“Admirable stamina, yet terrible priorities.”

“Well you certainly have the 'omnipresent' part down, don't you?”

“I am ready, whatever may come.”

“My faith protects me.”

“Need a throat slitting?”

“Death greets us all - but not today.”

“You need my expertise?”

“Can you feel death's cold grip?”

“So many stars, so many mysteries yet to be discovered.”

“Death comes quietly.”

“And I thought we were going to be friends.”

“Locked tight, but there must be some way to open it.”

“No, you can't die. Get up, damn you!

“You had my attention, now you have my fury.”

“From silence to suffering.”

“So many worlds out there. You'd need a thousand lifetimes to see them all - more.”

“I hope this is important. For your sake.”

“Let them gaze deep into their own abyss, and wonder just what it is they are trying to achieve.”

“I ought to just burn this whole thing down.”

“We have slightly more pressing matters to attend to.”

“You have still have time to surrender.”

“Every kicked buttock, another step on the path.”

“Weave save me. I can't take much more…

“You are right to fear me.”

“Let me look around. Might be something that'll help me crack this thing.”

“Incredible, to think how many worlds exist beyond this tiny speck within a speck I call home.”

“I really wish I could cast a Hold spell on you.”

“I can fawn over my face later.”

“Ready for another round?”

“Keep your blade close.”

“I can't unlock it from here, but there must be a switch or a button somewhere…”

“No, that's not moving. There must be a way to open it somewhere.”

“Battle favours the fearless.”

“Sleep with one eye open, evil. Maybe both.”

“Gotta be something around here to unlock this thing.”

“Why do beautiful people taste better?. It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities.”

“Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too.”

“Just go for the Magic Missile and fire away. Never fails.”

“Still standing, no matter what you heard.”

“Enough waiting. I crave blood.”

“Hang on - I won't allow this. You aren't dead, go it?”

“GODS, it's HOT in here!”

“No rest for the wicked, I see.”

“Better to hide than fight, sometimes.”

“Would that I could hide from you, too.”

“Are you feeling lonely, perhaps?”

“There is no right or wrong, only truth.”

“Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe.”

“What good all this ethereal eladrin blood if I can still get pimples?”

“I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.”

“I am armed! Armoured! And entirely sick of your foolishness.”

“Let's have some fun.”

“War is an old woman's game.”

“No rest, be you wicked or wise.”

“I'm getting too old for this nonsense.”

“I would poke you back, but I fear that's what you want.”

“You have my attention - now do something with it.”

“You are insistent, are you not?”

“Do what must be done.”

“Your suffering will be spectacular.”

“Lest I sit down for a rest and not rise again.”

“Better to look evil in the eye. Even if it be very small.”

“I'm not built to crouch.”

“I think I could go another round.”

“Always the same old song.”

“Is perfection too much to ask?”

“Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner.”

“So many places to be.. and I chose Baldur's Gate.”

“I'm not opening that. Not from here, at any rate.”

“What is the point, if not victory?”

“Won't last much longer like this.”

“Let's hope the locals are friendly.”

“Let us show them how it's done.”

“Weapons high. Standards higher.”

“Must everyone be so exhausting?”

“What I would not give for a chunk of fresh honeycomb…”

“Which way to the nearest library?”

“Now this is my happy place.”

“Who shall I silence?”

“Stop, or die.”

“Wear your scars proudly.”

[mxtxfanatic]

... Warning, rant in coming. Sorry.

Hot take, the only morally gray character in mess, that fits the exact definition of it, is Nie Huaisang.

I've seen more and more people trying to tone down Jiang Cheng's terribleness by saying that he's morally gray. I'very also seen those same people say that Wei Wuxian is morally gray because he did terrible things for good (and, no, lmao, he didn't. Most of those come from people not understanding how his cultivation works.) and that that was why he is so interesting. (Again, lmao. Lol even. Just say you don't appreciate depths and confuse "kind" with "boring", so you gotta give every character that you don't find boring a label to justify why you like them.)

I think the term "morally gray" has become a buzz word thrown around for any kind of character that isn't one dimensionally good or evil.

Jiang Cheng isn't morally gray. He is a bad person. Again, a PERSON. Not a monster, not some sort of creatures that has no concept of humanity, just. A bad person.

Society's habit of separating people that do bad things from themselves, that "us vs them" mantality, that dehumanization of bad people, it just leave a bad taste in my mouth. Even fucking serial killers have qualities, can be smart or charismatic or empathetic. Even pedophiles have hobbies and people that love them. Even rapists have people that they love and respect.

Being a terrible person doesn't mean that they're not human. There is no one in the world that has absolutely no redeeming qualities to them. But because of that separation that so many people take for the truth, because of that "they did this because they're a monster, but I'm not so I would never do this", people just cannot accept when a bad person isn't bad all the time.

They'll look at Jiang Cheng that, ultimately, loves his family and is arguably hard working, and they'll think that that means he's "morally gray", because he possesses good qualities, completely ignoring the fact that he's just a trash human being in general.

Low key, it pisses me off. Especially the people that relate so hard to him, and ask me if I wouldn't do the same in his shoes. Because no. I fucking wouldn't cause genocide. I wouldn't torture and kill complete strangers because they dared to have a surname I don't like or because they make me think of someone I resent from my past.

Like, I took can see myself in him, totally. He IS well written, and between the cartoonishly bad Xue Yang and the paragons of moral virtue that is Wangxian, he's definitely the one that feels closest to an everyday man, in personality if you ignore all the murders. I am petty, I hold grudges, I can be entitled and selfish, I am overall a massive rude cunt, but I do not want to hurt people and everyday I strive to be better than the last, even in infinitesimal ways. As should anyone. But that is something that Jiang Cheng doesn't even acknowledge, stuck as he is in his victim mentality and inferiority complex.

But Jiang Cheng is morally bankrupt. He is not morally gray. Not even dark gray. As an adult, he is painstakingly human and in general, a bad person.

And that is OK.

To make him a better person, you don't have to change his entire character with half assed head canons, just make him acknowledge his flaws and let him (finally) grow as a person, past that stubborn mentality he has had for decades.

He IS a bad person, but even bad people have a capacity for growth and change, of the moment they allow themselves to. If he ever gets forgiven for his past actions, that's on the people he has hurt, not that it should even be considered in his journey towards growth.

(Frankly, I don't think he would be. I think he shouldn't be, but that's not for me to decide. However, I can definitely JC finally making some tiny progresses but for all the wrong reasons, and get insulted when, if he ever even get to that point, his apologies don't end up fixing everything. He is totally the kind of person that would see you being mad at them and feel like he's the one being victimized because you didn't accept his half assed apologies. The emotional maturity on this man is below -100.)

(Also, Wei Wuxian isn't morally gray in the total opposite, in that he is such a good person, be it morally or emotionally, just. God, I envy his mental fortitude and his capacity for forgiveness and love.)

Sorry again for the ask, just had to rant somewhere about this and I am kind of curious about how you consider the "morally gray" argument. I think it's total bullshit, if the entire post didn't tell you, but yeah, I'm curious.

I hope I was coherent enough, I did not plan this ask at all, it was all streams of consciousness.

So before I get to the actual material of your rant—of which I agree with—I want to go on a tangent. Bad people as a category are not “dehumanized.” Dehumanization is the act of stripping someone or a group of people of their humanity as a tool of oppression, and it must come with material consequences. Saying that a continent of people are only capable of non-human animal intelligence to justify centuries of enslavement is dehumanization. Saying that a country of people are born terrorists to justify flattening their homeland and claiming it by a different name is dehumanization. Claiming that the man who called you out on your desires to be the new oppressors is a literal demon wanting to destroy your heritage in order to justify leading an army to kill him and his charges while attempting to remove their ability to reincarnate is dehumanization. Calling a child abuser a monster is not dehumanization. It is just an insult.

In fact, the “human traits” of terrible human beings do not need to be defended, because more often than not the absolute worst human beings are materially protected from the consequences of their actions by people who want to defend their “humanity.” In mdzs, I don’t give two fucks about Jiang Cheng’s one “human” trait of loving his nephew, because his “inhumane” traits of abusing said nephew and everyone else in his life intentionally overshadow that by his own design. Jiang Yanli loved her son just as much and lost much more than Jiang Cheng ever did, but she didn’t become an unrepentant monster. Humans are not “monsters-in-waiting” whereby we must act as if every individual is always one step away from committing unspeakable acts of depravity. If that was the case, we would not have survived as a community-dependent social species. Therefore, I do not find Jiang Cheng as the most relatable character ever because I do not find the way that he gives into anti-human behaviors to be relatable to me on a personal level or to be representative of most people’s actions throughout the course of their lives. To feel pain is human, and to have outbursts about it is understandable. To abuse about it? To murder about it? To mass murder about it??? Absolutely anti-human, anti-community, and the type of behavior that can only survive and thrive in an environment that privileges people with those specific “inhumane” traits above everyone else. (One might even call it the environment of a corrupt hierarchy of power that mdzs critiques.) The exact opposite of dehumanization. So if I choose to call Jiang Cheng a monster, it is to intentionally point out the ways that his conscious actions as a character in this story are a negation of human life and community.

On that note, I’ve discussed how this fandom uses “morally gray” in this ask (excuse the fact that I switch between “grey” and “gray” lmao). To bring back a point from my rant from above, Jiang Cheng has his one (1) good trait leveraged by fandom to whitewash his crimes under the guise of “morally gray,” while Wei Wuxian is the one actually being dehumanized by that same label as people use it to justify his literal murder (and those of the Wen remnants) in the story, so that’s my feelings on that. Whether Jiang Cheng can be redeemed or not, I frankly do not care to speculate because the story concludes his character arc at him regressing back into Jiang “hunter of Wen” Cheng, still rich, still single, and still only loved by his nephew. At the end of the day, he is not a real person and I’m only here for wangxian.

[cutiecusp]

Something borrowed, Something blue.

Part two to Something old, something new.

You and John Price have a history, one you miss terribly, will he be able to convince you to leave your groom at the altar for him?

TW. Slight suggestive smut, didn't realise it will be as long as it was, so there will be a part three!!! MDNI, kissing.

You feel the energy crackle around the room as John leant in, you could smell faint cigar smoke and a peppermint he must have eaten on the way in.

Your eyes meet his deep blue ones, and you step back cautiously. This was the secret answer to your prayers, but you couldn't believe this was real.

"John, I.. we can't." You press your hands against his chest, your diamond ring from another man glistening in the light, hoping to push him away. Someone had to take the mature approach and stop it, and you had to ignore the fire in your stomach as you touch him, but all he does is encircle his large hands around yours and pull you back in to him.

"I'm not running this time, love. I want you, and I want you to be mine. Work be damned." He lets out a breath and presses his lips over yours, silencing any doubts you had about his feelings for you.

He tasted like heaven, and you relaxed in his arms, as he took you into his arms and held you tightly, his tongue exploring yours as you both deepen the kiss. After a few heated moments, John pulls away reluctantly. His gaze bore into your soul, and you saw the need and desire in his eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that you belonged to him, and he belonged to you.

"Should have been wearing this dress for me." He says gruffly, gesturing to your white wedding gown. "You look like an angel." He adds. He leads in for another kiss, but you are interrupted by a knock at your door.

"You nearly ready sweetheart? Gotta take you to the church." Your father calls through the door.

Your shocked face looks at John's calm features.

"It's my dad, he will kill you if he found out you were here." You hiss, looking for a hiding place for him.

"C-coming dad!" You yell, unsure if you should even ready to face him. You push John out of the view of the door, and open it, your face flushed and your flowers long forgotten.

"You look beautiful, dove." Your father says, holding an arm out for you. You reluctantly take it, leaning on his frame for support. He looks at you, and you are reminded of how much your father knows about you.

"Now, as your dad, I have to ask... is it too late for you to change your mind.. only I thought I saw John's car, and I know-" he pauses, and looks at his daughters face, all doe eyed and pink cheeks.

"You've seen him already, haven't you." He asks quietly.

You nod, your heart falling to the floor. What were you thinking? Kissing John an hour before you were going to marry your fiance? Shame filled your features as you can't look your dad in the eye. You were a good person, but deep down, you knew you couldn't marry a man you didn't love.

"You still have feelings for John?" Your father asks softly, holding you a little closer, as if he doesn't want anyone hearing your conversation.

"Y-yes. Yes I do." You admit, and you open the door wider to reveal John standing in your hotel room. You unhook your arm from your father's, and stand next to John.

Your dad throws you his car keys.

"Borrow my car. Drive her someplace safe for the night, and I'll take your car to my house. Thankfully you wanted a small wedding, so there's only a few people that need to know today." Your dad turns to John.

"Keep her heart safe. She deserves a good man. I trust that's you. I always liked you, don't fuck this up." He warns in a mock serious manner.

John shakes your father's hand, and pulls you in close.

"I promise, Sir. Thank you."

Pocketing the car keys, John urges you to pack a bag, and hand in hand, you run to the car.

John opens the door for you, as you scramble to get in, your dress hindering your body as you squeeze in the seat.

"First thing I plan on doing is taking that dress off, love." John says with a grin.

"How do you fancy playing Mrs. Price for the night? Honeymoon included?" He winks at you as he peals out of the car park.

Wind in your hair, John's hand in yours, you never felt more alive.

"Lead the way, Mr. Price" you laugh as you drive off in search of a honeymoon suite.

"I'm already dressed for the occasion!"

.................................................................

A/N I totally planned on there being smut, but thought this was a cool way to pause it.

@xoxunhinged @dustycrusty09

[obsidiancreates]

One Undead To Another (Chapter 16)

(Trigger warnings for graphic depictions of injury/dying, blood, nightmares)

Gus tips the delivery person and walks back into the main room of the office with two still-steaming burritos in a bag. Shawn feels the memory of salivating at that same smell– god, not even a week ago. Somehow it feels like it’s been years since he woke up cold and starving, but at the same time it’s been seconds. Is that a vampire thing, an ADHD thing, or a trauma thing? Is it worth figuring out? Not right now.

His mouth is bone-dry as he accepts the burrito. It smells good, great, and the way the warmth of it seeps through the tinfoil into his hands is heavenly. He feels no excitement to bite into it. 

“Alright.” Gus sits down at his desk. “Test number one– garlic.”

“I dunno about this, man. I told you I get hungry after I get hurt.”

“Shawn, we need to figure out your supernatural weaknesses before going back to taking cases.”

“I think we can consider garlic a lock!”

“Sunlight isn’t.”

“... Fair. … Fine. But only if you make some posters to hang around so we get some more private cases.”

“Why? Are you hungry again already?”

“...”

“Do I need to pull out the pencil rosary again?”

“Maybe? It’s not… bad. It’s just kind of… there. Can we just– I’m taking a bite, if I burst into flames or turn into a pile of ash just know my text about my Tears for Fears vinyls still applies.”

“Shawn.”

“Just making sure.” Shawn unwraps the burrito. It’s weird, to know something smells so delicious and know it should be making your mouth water and know you should be excited to eat it, but none of that matters. It’s like the whole experience is hitting a glass wall, clearly there, just barely out of reach to him. 

He takes a bite. Shredded pork, salsa, guac, there’s even roasted corn in this one. It’s loaded, incredible, and he can’t really enjoy it because even though it all tastes exactly like it did when he was human it doesn’t mean anything. Nothing is satisfied by it. In fact, the pang of hunger sharpens as the taste of the pork specifically floods his mouth.

It’s meat, and it’s wrong. Close, so close to what he needs, but not right.

“So?”

Shawn swallows. “Didn’t even burn.”

“Alright, garlic is a no.” Gus crosses it off his list. “We’ve gotta find some garlic flowers next and see if those do anything.”

“Garlic flowers? Don’t be silly, Gus.”

“Garlic flowers are another classic vampire ward, Shawn! They’re used in the original Dracula novel!”

“It’s a novel?” 

“We had to read it in the seventh grade, remember?!”

“Not really. I do remember watching one of those old uh, black-and-white movies with Count Dookie.”

“Count Dooku, Shawn.”

“Gus, he was one of the bad guys, let’s not sweat over his name.”

“You’re trying to distract me.”

“Am not.”

“You are! You’re deflecting again!”

“Deflecting? Please.”

“We agreed, last night, that if you got uncomfortable with focusing on the vampire stuff or the psychic stuff you’d say it outright and we’d switch gears.”

“... Alright. Alright, yes, I’m… wanting to change the subject for a while.”

“Fine. Psychic stuff still fine, or no supernatural stuff at all?”

“None at all, man, I just… let’s watch a movie or something. Least that won’t be different.”

“Alright. Hey, I think American Duos is on.”

“Really? … Wow. Their ratings must be terrible, it’s the middle of the afternoon on a weekday.”

“The guy they replaced Zappato with is kind of lacking, and they had to replace Emilina last season and she’s not great either. I think it’s only still on because the producers are afraid of telling Nigel St Nigel he’s off the air.”

“Really? It sounds awful. Let’s watch the entire season.”

“You know that’s right.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Nice of you to join us today, detectives.”

They both freeze in their tracks. Lassiter turns around first, adjusting his tie nervously. “Ready to get back to work, Chief. It was just a 24 hour thing, and I’m firing on cylinders today.”

“We both are,” Jules jumps in.

“Good, because your homicide case wrapped up the other night and we need a few closing details from you both. You’ll find the paperwork on your desks–”

“Chief!” Buzz jogs over. “We just got a report on the wire, body pulled out of a lake. Looks like drowning.”

Jules makes eye contact with Lassiter. Shawn’s abilities really have evolved. 

“Oh, detectives!” Buzz grins at them both. “I’m glad you guys are feeling better today! Oh, um, Detective Lassiter, I put any remains of journals or anything we found from the mansion in a box and left it by your desk.”

The Chief turns to Lassiter with a disbelieving, you-better-explain threatening smile. “Uh, detective, when did you ask Officer McNab to do this?”

Crap. “Uh, over the phone yesterday, Chief.”

“And you heard about the mansion burning down… how?”

“... Well, uh… Spencer! Yes, Spencer called me in the middle of the night, said he had a vision. Normally I would’ve told him to screw off but I… humored, him, when he asked me to tell McNab… that.”

“You… humored… Mr. Spencer?”

“I blame the fever, Chief.”

“Well, then… I’ll blame it as well. If Mr. Spencer thinks something additionally important is in those journals, I’ll let you hold onto them for the moment, but it’s looking like this case is pretty much completely shut, at this point in time. Right now I want this drowning case to be your top priority.”

“You got it, Chief,” Jules says, giving a too-wide smile and overly enthusiastic thumbs-up. The Chief eyes her oddly for a moment, and then walks back to her office.

“Keep it together, O’Hara, you’re the one who convinced me to play along with this crap,” Lassiter whispers as they quickly walk to his desk.

“I’m trying! The bigger the secret, the harder time I have keeping it!”

“Then why in god’s name are we doing this?!”

“Because Shawn doesn’t deserve to go to jail or a mental facility for something he had no control over!”

“You do realize–”

“As soon as I said it. But Shawn’s not one of the the bad guys, Carlton. It’s different. He’s one of us.”

“... Yeah, alright.” Lassiter tries to sound unconvinced as he agrees. They reach his desk and he takes the lid off the box, frowning as he looks inside. “This is what McNab considers salvageable? He’s more off than I was before the divorce.”

“Oh, Carlton.”

“... My therapist says turning the situation into humor could help me move past it.”

“Alright… well, if you think it’s helping.”

Lassiter looks back into the box, slightly flushed with embarrassment now, and carefully looks through. “I don’t know that we’ll get anything helpful from this.”

“Well, maybe they’ll trigger some kind of… psychic revelation for Shawn.”

“We’re bringing him evidence now?”

“He’ll probably steal it out of evidence if we don’t.”

“You finally caught him doing that?”

“No, but, we both know he does.”

“... Fine. At least this way we can ask for it back. … Let’s focus on this drowning thing instead. You were lying when you said you’d call him, right?”

“No, I was not.”

“O’hara, you saw him this morning. He’s not even close to ready to work on a serious case.”

“... Fine. I’ll wait until we have evidence of foul play. If nothing suggests that, I’ll just tell him it was an accidental drowning case tomorrow.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry closes the door to the security room and gives himself a moment to chuckle, tossing his badge up once and tucking it back into his suit pocket. He forgot how much he enjoyed flashing the badge to get into places.

He pulls up the security feed from outside the store on the night in question. He scrubs through, trying to pick out any suspicious details.

There. 

Just before 3 AM, a motorcycle is caught speeding by. It’s too blurry an image to tell if it’s Shawn’s bike, but Henry’s always considered ‘confirmation bias’ to be something that applies to other people. His investigations have never suffered from such a thing.

He scrubs through some more. Cars, cars, it’s too dark and blurry on the camera to tell them apart by make or model, much less license plates. The motorcycle is all he’s getting from this. 

He stands up, straightens his suit, and leaves. Maybe he’ll get something better from a more expensive store’s security feed. 

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shawn scoots a little further away as Gus lets out a snore and mumbles something flirtatious in his sleep. He thinks he’s getting an okay handle on the hunger thing– his throat is shot to hell again already, the temptation of Gus’s blood a little bit like that time his dad put a marshmallow on a plate and told him if he didn’t touch it for fifteen minutes he could have two. Comparisons keep drifting through his head, all the different things he can taste from having Gus so close, even when he does his best to stop breathing it in. 

Again, the movie snacks aren’t helping whatsoever. He keeps eating them anyway.

His mouth aches again. Pulses with pain in time with Gus’s heartbeat. He should really stop setting up situations where he’s alone with one or more of them.

He leans his head back on the couch and closes his eyes. The sound of the movie is sharp against his ears, just adding to the headache, getting less and less comprehensible as he slowly drifts off to sleep.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juliet doesn’t have Thornburg.

Juliet doesn’t have Thornburg.

So why is she dying?

Shawn is holding her hand, trying to confess, but the words are stuck in his throat. Jules is wheezing, her eyes bleeding, looking into his with a fear dulled by a thick glaze of illness. Jules is dying. Jules is dying.

Lassie doesn’t get shot in the graveyard.

Lassie doesn’t get shot in the graveyard.

So why is he dying?

Shawn is holding Lassie as he bleeds out– no, he’s holding Mary Light, no, he’s holding Lassie, no, he’s–

Lassie’s blood is spilling out of his chest. He’s looking at Shawn with a level of terror that Shawn never ever wants to see from the detective, never should see from him.

He’s holding Mary again. “Wake up, Shawn.”

Lassie is dying in Shawn’s arms.

Lassie is dying in Shawn’s arms.

Gus doesn’t fall off a cliff when he grabs onto the extreme sports murderer.

Gus doesn’t fall off a cliff when he grabs onto the extreme sports murderer. 

So why is he dying?

Shawn holds Gus at the bottom of the cliff. Gus’s blood coats the rock beneath them. His eyes are completely sightless, his mouth trying to form words that will never come, not with a head injury like this. Gus’s hand grips Shawn’s so tight it hurts, a silent plea to save him.

Gus is dying and Shawn can’t save him.

Gus is dying and Shawn can’t save him.

Henry is not the victim of a plane crash.

Henry is not the victim of a plane crash.

So why is he dying?

Shawn struggles to keep his father’s head straight with one hand as he tries to get the radio working with the other. Henry is barely awake, wheezing, mumbling incoherently. Shawn can’t make the radio work. He can’t call for help.

He looks at his dad and sees regret shining in his bloodshot eyes. Henry reaches out with one bloodied arm and grabs Shawn’s bicep. There’s a tree branch impaled through his abdomen. He looks Shawn in the eye and opens his mouth–

“Wake up!”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shawn sits up with a gasp! His grandmother’s voice screaming through his father’s mouth echoes in his head as he pushes off the couch and runs to the bathroom, splashing cold–

No, no, he’s colder than it is, he switches the tap and splashes warm water on his face. It’s unnatural, it’s wrong, it’s not something his skin should be anymore– the warmth shocks him into full wakefulness.

“Shawn?!” Gus’s footsteps are like hammers against his skull, his quickened heartbeat like a jackhammer. Shawn presses his hands over his ears.

“Shawn!” Gus’s hands are so warm, so warm, warm warm warm blood spilling into Shawn’s jeans from Gus’s skull at the bottom of a cliff–

“WHAT THE–!”

Shawn finds himself presses against the bathroom wall, Gus standing in the doorway with the makeshift rosary held up, wet handprints on his shirt. Gus is shaking. Shawn realizes he feels fangs poking his lip.

He gulps in a breath, pressing his hands to his torso, then his face, holding them out– he repeats until he feels like he’s in his own body again. Gus watches, poised to run.

Shawn shakes his head, trying to knock the last echoes of the nightmare out. They won’t ever go away. They won’t ever go away.

Something clicks. He looks up. “Oh, god. I didn’t–”

“You lunged right for my neck.”

“I- Gus, I’m so– I didn’t–”

“I could tell.” Gus relaxes a little. His heart is still pounding. Shawn realizes belatedly that his voice has gone raspy again. Gus keeps the rosary held up. “What was that?”

“I-I… don’t…” Shawn swallows. They agreed he’d be honest. They agree he had to be honest, at least between the two of them. “I had a nightmare.”

“... About?”

“I don’t… want to talk about it.” If he talks about it he’ll relive it, he’ll have the images take over the real world again and if that happens he’s not sure he won’t try to–

“... Okay. Okay, but– Shawn, that was terrifying.”

“Yeah.”

“And your voice is all messed up again.”

“Noticed that too.”

“... You know, when I went out with Willow–”

“You guys actually went out?”

“Yes! A couple times! Anyway, she told me about this vampire bar place for people who pretend to be vampires.”

“So?”

“So… do you think you could handle just having a little from someone, uh… consenting for their own reasons?”

Flash of white, film grain, stalking up behind the burglar, covering his mouth, sinking his aching fangs into warm soft flesh and drinking–

Shawn shudders– he wishes it was because he disliked the feeling of the memory– vision? … Memory. God, he wishes he disliked it.

“Not doing that, Gus. First of all that’s not my kind of kinky business–”

“Eugh! I was trying not to say it outright, Shawn!”

“I know you were, that’s why I did. Anyway, second, that’s… too, vampire. Way too vampire.”

“... I could see if someone there is willing to donate blood.”

“Gus. You’ll pass out just trying to get the bag here.”

“I can handle it.”

“You don’t want to.”

“It’s that or you drinking me!”

“I won’t drink you!” Shawn doesn’t mean for it to come out panicked– but the way Gus tenses and raises the cross a bit more shows it did, in a bad way. Shawn shakes his head again, looking down and trying to regain some composure. “You– you just shouldn’t have to do that, buddy.”

“You shouldn’t have to be undead. It’s not a fair situation to any of us, Shawn.”

Jules, Lassie, Gus, Henry, bleeding bleeding bleeding dying dying dying Dying And Leaving Shawn Along FOREVER–

“I’m going.” Shawn is snapped out of it by Gus digging his car keys out of his pocket. “You just zoned out again and started shaking. If you don’t get blood, one of us is going to be in big trouble, and either way it goes it’ll be bad.”

“Gus–”

“I’ll just close my eyes or something! I’m putting this in front of the door on my way out, I’ll be back as soon as I can. And I’m letting Lassie and Jules know what I’m doing.”

“... Could you uh, leave out the–”

“Don’t even have to ask. Just… try to relax a little while I’m gone, okay?”

Shawn doesn’t agree or disagree. Gus leaves, and Shawn splashes his face a few more times before going back to the couch. He sits in the spot Gus had fallen asleep in. Maybe he’s imagining it because he’s so cold, but the spot still feels a little warm.

His cell rings a moment later. Crap. He lets it go to voicemail.

“Shawn, call me back, would you? What’s the point of these damn things if you just ignore it all the time? Look, I got a letter about your bike insurance and they’re raising the monthly payments. You put the damn bike on my card so I think I’m entitled to know how well you’re taking care of the thing if I’m going to keep paying for it.”

Shawn groans. He tosses his phone to the other side of the couch. He’ll reply later– or maybe never. 

Henry wheezing, staring with dull bloodshot eyes, reaching out–

…

He’ll reply later.

[wishfulwithwine]

sweet girl . chapter four

Rafe Cameron x Y/N Thorton

Y/N was sick of being the goody two shoes - sick of everyone treating her like an innocent little girl.

How bad could a step on the wild side be?

No one told her how good bad could taste....

WARNINGS: THIS SERIES IS 18+. INVOLVES EXPLICIT/NSFW CONTENT. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF MINOR.

series masterlist

photo from pinterest

It took two weeks for Rafe Cameron to fuck it up with Y/N Thorton.

Two passionate weeks of sneaking around their siblings and friends, hot nights entangled in each other’s limbs.

Two unbelievable weeks… ending in a coked out haze and making out with someone else at a party. 

You couldn’t even scream at the sight before you.

Because then you’d be admitting to something that was supposedly not happening.

Because if you shouted that Rafe was cheating on you, then you’d be admitting that you were in a relationship with your best friend’s brother, or your brother’s best friend, however you wanted to describe him.

You should have known better.

You should have listened to everyone’s warnings about Rafe. You should have listened more to the stories Topper used to tell about when Rafe was high, and nothing else seemed to matter to Rafe more than another fix. 

So there you were, watching Rafe make out with another brunette.

You had left his side for 10 minutes to go find a restroom in this house, and you came back to him cheating. 

So there you were walking quickly out of the party - not running, that would’ve identified immediately that something was wrong - and away from anyone you knew. Seeing a full bottle of tequila on a table, untouched and ready for picking, you grabbed it, and left the party. Tears were streaming down your face as you went to the one place you knew would bring you instant calm - the beach. 

It was late so you thought no one would be there, as you sat watching the waves, drinking tequila straight. 

“Y/N?” 

Oh shit. Who is it? Fuck I’m crying. I really don’t want to see anyone. 

“Y/N? Hey, are you okay?” John B asked, coming over to you, seeing the bottle of tequila and tears running down your face.

“Just peachy, John B” You replied sarcastically, taking another swig of the bottle.

“Alright, what’s going on?” John B asked, concerned as he took the bottle from you.

“I did something stupid - trusted someone I shouldn’t have, and now I’m upset and I just want to forget” You said, looking sadly at him.

Shit, Y/N could make me do anything with those eyes. 

“Well, I was going to head back to my house if you wanted to come hang out? The Pogues and Kie might be there?” He offered, and you smiled.

“Sure, why not?” You replied, shrugging your shoulders.

If Rafe heard I would be with the Pogues, he’d be pissed. Too bad for him, I don’t care anymore.

“Great” John B said, as he walked you over to his van, and you two went to his place, or what he said he called the Chateau.

“So the person you decided to trust, someone I know?” John B asked, glancing over at you as he drove.

“Yea, but I really don’t want to talk about it. What were you up to when you found me?” You asked, changing the subject. 

“Just on a little adventure. Where you at a party? You look hot by the way” John B said, taking in what you were wearing. You blushed a bit, realizing your makeup probably looked terrible so you tried to fix it in the van’s mirror.

“Thank you. You look pretty hot yourself, but that’s just you” You replied, the alcohol letting you speak more freely. 

“That’s just me?” John B replied, raising an eyebrow.

“Yea. You’ve got that whole sexy surfer, bad boy look down to a T” You replied, and John B smirked.

“You think I’m sexy?” John B said, surprised. You blushed, biting your lip as you realized what you said.

“Well, I gotta say, you’ve always been gorgeous. Never quite had the guts before to tell you I had a crush on you when you were tutoring me” John B said, taking a chance. 

“Really? I had a crush on you too!” You said, giggling, looking at John B’s smile widen. He glanced at you, before slowing down outside of his place.

“No way did you have a crush on me” John B said, shaking his head as he stared at you. Neither of you made any move to get out of the car. 

“Everyone had a crush on you. No way did you like me, a pogue” He said, and you raised an eyebrow.

“Well I did” You said, looking at him.

“Yea, right” He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Really! I did. How can I prove it to you?” You replied, crossing your fingers. John B stared at you.

“Kiss me. If you had a crush on me, kiss me” He said, smirking. You looked at him, and realized he wasn’t kidding.

Leaning forward, you gently kissed him, before John B started kissing you back, putting his hands on either side of your face, tangling a bit in your hair, before you heard some yelling and you two pulled away.

“JJ! Put me the fuck down!” Kie said, as JJ picked her up and all but threw her in the hot tub. 

You turned away from them, looking back at John B.

“We should..” He said, nodding over to them.

“Yea” You replied, and you two left the car and headed to the hot tub.

“Hey Y/N! I’m so happy you’re hanging out with us!” Kie said. “You look hot! Kook party not all cracked up to be?” 

JJ, Kie and Pope were all in the hot tub, beers on the side, while you and John B stood by.

“Definitely not, but I stole a bottle of their tequila on the way out” You said, as John B held up the tequila bottle.

“Oh that’s some good shit” JJ said, taking the tequila bottle and inspecting it, before passing it back to you. 

“Good to see you!” Pope said, waving at you as John B hopped in the hot tub. “You coming in?” 

You looked down at your outfit, then to Kie.

“You don’t happen to have a spare bathing suit, no?” You asked Kie, and she shook her head.

“I don’t think the guys would mind if you just wore your underwear?. I’ve done it a few times” Kie said, shrugging her shoulders.  You bit your lip.

“Definitely won’t. Actually we highly encourage it” JJ said, smirking as you looked over to John B, who just shrugged but gave you a genuine smile.

“Wild girl summer, right?” You said, locking eyes with Kie who smirked and clapped her hands.

“Yes girl yes!” Kie said, hyping you up as you took off your skirt and top, revealing your matching lace bra and panty set. There was total silence as you took off your clothes, the Pogues faces stunned

“Shit, you’re going to make me bi” Kie said, as you blushed under everyone’s stares, coming into the hot tub and sitting in-between Kie and John B.  

John B could barely take his eyes off of you, his eyes trailing down every part of exposed skin before it got covered by the water. Adjusting himself, he tried to think of anything that wouldn’t make him hornier.

“Fuck. You’re single?” JJ asked, and you laughed.

“Pass me the bottle” You said, looking at John B and he passed it over, his eyes dilated. You took a big sip.

“What the fuck? You just did that without chaser” Pope said, shocked.

“Yea, perks of being a kook. Lots of practice drinking liquor” You replied, shrugging your shoulders as everyone laughed.

“Alright, so truth or dare?” JJ offered, and everyone seemed to shrug their shoulders in acceptance at playing the game.

“You want to play, you start JJ. Truth or dare” Kie asked, smirking at him.

“Truth” JJ said, taking a sip from his beer.

“Besides Y/N and I, who’s the hottest kook? If you had to chose” Kie asked. You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. 

JJ was notorious for hating kooks, so who he’d chose would be interesting.

“Fuck” JJ said, sipping beer while he looked a bit nervous. “On looks alone? Sarah Cameron” 

“Are you kidding me?” Kie asked upset. 

“Oh boy” You muttered, and John B chuckled.

“Here” He whispered, passing you a beer. You smiled, cracking it open before focusing back on the groups conversation.

“I’d have to agree with JJ. Just looks alone, a kook, and not either of you? The hottest would have to be her” Pope said, logically.

“Fine” Kie said, crossing her arms annoyed.

“Truth or Dare Kie” JJ said, turning it back on her.

“You know what, dare” Kie said, taking the tequila bottle from you and taking a shot.

“Kiss the hottest in the group” JJ said, winking at her. Kie rolled her eyes before scanning the group.

“Actually, it’s a no brainer” Kie said, before going over to you and kissing your lips - not quick but not a make out either. The boys cheered, as you two broke apart, laughing.

“Thanks Kie” You said, sending her an exaggerated wink.

That did not help John B’s pant situation.

“Ok, John B. Truth or dare” Kie asked, a smirk on her face as she caught John B keep staring at Y/N.

“Dare” He said, a bit nervous as he recognized the look on Kie’s face to be dangerous. 

“I dare you to… do a body shot off of Y/N” She said, as both of you tensed a bit. “Only if you’re comfortable with that” She added, looking to Y/N who looked a little nervous.

“Wild girl summer, yea?” Y/N said, feeling the tequila in your system so your nerves were smoothed over.

“You’re really being a pogue tonight” JJ said, laughing. 

“Make sure you do the full thing! Do you have salt and a lime?” Kie asked, hopping out to get the other ingredients, while everyone got out to watch.

“You don’t have to do this if you’re uncomfortable” John B whispered to Y/N, putting his hand on your arm comfortingly.

“It’s fine, John B. I’m having such a fun night, honestly. I’m really glad you saw me” you said, looking at him with a smile.

“Ok! I got it. Get on the table Y/N!” Kie exclaimed, as you laughed, laying down on the table. John B got on top of her, straddling your waist, while he poured the tequila in your belly button. Kiera poured the salt across your neck and chest, and placed the lime in your mouth.

“Lucky dog!” JJ said, as John B began, licking down your neck and chest, drinking the tequila, before biting the lime in your mouth. You did your best to not show how aroused you were, forcibly making sure your back didn’t arch off the table.

John B stared into your eyes as he sucked on the lime, as everyone else clapped.

It was a few hours later when everyone started going to bed. Pope and Kie decided to sleep on the hammocks, JJ on the couch on the patio, and you and John B decided to go to sleep in his bed.

“Are you sure it’s ok? I can sleep on the other couch” You asked again, as you and John B got ready for bed. You didn’t want to sleep in your wet underwear, so he gave you a pair of his boxers and t-shirt. You got underneath the covers with him in bed. 

“I want to sleep next to you, alright?” John B said, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you flush against his chest. You blushed as you felt something poking your stomach.

“Yea?” You asked, coyly, as you reached down, rubbing his member.

John B groaned, rocking into your hand to get more friction, before he captured your lips with his.

“We’ll have to be quiet” He whispered, before kissing you passionately. He reached over to his side table, getting a condom and putting it on his now naked dick. He turned, so he was on top of you, taking your leg and wrapping it above his hip, as his fingertips trailed inside of the boxers you wore.

“Fuck” You whispered, biting your hand so you didn’t moan as John B thrusted his dick into you.

“Oh gosh, you’re so tight” John B moaned softly, his mouth near your ear, as he thrusted quickly inside of you. Your back arched, the now familiar coil tightening in you. 

You felt his lips on your neck, sucking and biting, and in your drunk haze, you didn’t care of what could be the consequences of hickies on your neck. His hands were exploring your body, as you did your best to keep the moans in.

He wasn’t as good as Rafe, but it did make you feel good.

[kolour-me-kourt]

Chapter twelve : Why does she keep coming up

Jayson hadn't claimed to be perfect but to YN he was he had completely took her out of the shadows and into the light. They were proudly and happily in a relationship. So never in her right mind did she think his ex would make an appreance in their life ..... and his ex is Ella? A singer than she had loved since boo'd up but couldn't in her right mind listen to her songs the same way all she could think about is them being written about Jayson. Especially Shot clock it's a basketball reference and it's cute and he alluded to having problems committing in the past but YN changed that he snatched her up quickly.

So why was Ella here ruining it.  Not physically but she was taking up space in YN mind ruining her bond with Jayson. Ruining them and could should possibly take Jayson if she wanted him? One thing about Lamelo was he was honest with her he never lied about their situation and what she means to him......

It seemed like they had been arguing and arguing more. YN hadn't even talked to Lamelo yet he was still very much a factor in her relationship with Jayson. And today when Jayson came to her home his energy was totally off and he just seemed angry. It had been something she had been use to lately. He just liked to get babied but today wasn't YN day either work had gon terribly and she just felt overwhelmed with it all work him herself it was a lot. So when he came home acting that way she completely ignored him which pissed him off more.

"So do you not plan on talking to me today?" Jayson walks into her bedroom where YN was at her vanity doing her hair. "I was giving you space clearly you're angry about something" "so instead of checking on me you ignore me?" "Jayson what's wrong? Do you need me to stroke your ego? Cause I'm not in the mood. Idk what's wrong with you lately but it's really getting old" he sighed "I didn't have a good day" "me either now if you wanna talk about your day we can I'll be happy to listen but don't come at me so aggressively" he sits down on her bench in front of her bed so she turns around to look at him.

"Why not check on me though?" "Why not check on me? Do you think all my days are just good? Cause that's not the case" "I'm sorry.... I'm just so stressed" "I get that I really do but it has to be a better way of cooping I've already said that you could talk to me but you're choosing not" he kisses her lips softly "there is...." She smiled "tell me what's up""can I taste you first?" She shook her head no "after you tell me what's up" he sighed

"you ever tried to do something but your body just wouldn't do it the way you thought?" "Yeah since I was a kid😂 from cartwheels and dance moves to outfits it always looks better in my head" he smiled "well that has never happened to me I see it in my head I do it if I don't get it on the first try I got it by the third or the fifth so today when I kept trying to do this one thing and my body couldn't.... I shut down at practice couldn't even get through to my teammates and that was un professional and impacted the whole team" she begins speaking but quickly stumbles over her words trying her hardest to get something out but she didn't know how to phrase what she was trying to say

"I'm sorry that happened Bae.... But as you get older......your body has been through a lot.... So yeah maybe you didn't get it on the the first or the third or the fifth time maybe it'll take thirty tries now but I bet you'll get it a lot of your gifts are natural talent yes but you always worked your ass off to perfect them .... I don't wanna see that end just because you gotta work a little longer and harder which you've never had a issue doing not from what I seen anyway" he kissed her lips again "tell

Me how your day was" "terrible ... I missed you ..... and well I didn't make partner "

"damn bae I'm sorry and then I came in being a ass why you ain't text me" "I wanted to tell you in person so you can hold me" "mmm so who got it?" He pulls her closer causing her to smile

"This guy...... he's a great worker and everybody claims it was a six to five vote so I almost won" "nobody more deserving than you though your time management is wild" "that means a lot coming from you cause you balance it all career,deuce, me, the rest of your family, community efforts, time for yourself and it's usually with a big ass smile on your face" "so you wanna go out? Maybe that'll cheer you up a little" "okay I think it would" "where you wanna go?" "Anywhere with you" she smiled "okay I know just the spot we shouldn't get bothered" he kisses her lips and then stands up "no come back here" she whined "nahhh get dressed bae you need to eat"

                  *time skip*

They had just sat at the restaurant and he couldn't keep his hands off her. "You look so fuckin good" "for a person who was rushing me out of the house it seem like you wanna leave already" "I'm feeling the long curly hair and the white dress" "thank you baby you sexy too" "how sexy?" "You make me wanna get under the table and show you. 

As the date progressed YN felt this guy staring at her as soon as he walked in.  "Bae that guy is being weird... back there" she said quietly "yeah I noticed he kept looking over here I thought he was a fan" "oh maybe he is...." "Let's just get ready to go......" "okay" when the waiter walked by he asked for the check and quickly got it back paying the bill" he stands up reaching out for her. "Come on baby" YN smiled grabbing her purse

"Get back with Ella what are you doing" the guy says under his breath

Before Jayson could jump to her defense YN was taking up for herself" are you fuckin serious?!?! You are a grown ass man over fifty and you worried about what people in their twenties are doing? Go get a job as a matter of fact stop riding jaysons dick I don't need no help bitch ass nigga" Jayson continued to try and speak up but YN would cut him off the cameras were on her and everybody was laughing

"Ella is a sore spot huh?" "No Random ass men saying rude shit to me for no reason is the sore spot" "bae let's just go" Jayson pulls her slightly "you didn't answer me Jayson" The guy cackled "stop speaking on shit you don't know nothing about and don't ever disrespect my woman again cause it won't be pretty" Jayson says quickly and then pulls YN out of the resturant and into the car. She was so mad she was shaking and trying to holdback her tears

"bae breath" "that really pissed me off" "he's a troll he don't know nothing about us and what we doing imagine being that depressed and old" "why does she keep coming up?" YN said softly "What?" "Ella.... And you keep coming up that guy was my last straw" "bae when I tell you ... you don't have to worry about her I mean it trust and believe me I wanna be with you and only you" "you promise?" "Yeah I promise ... cheat on you for what?" She laughed "if you cheat on me you'll be dumb" "the stupidest man in the world if I cheat on you" "I love you so damn much  I'm sorry for being insecure" "shhh" "I'm serious" "you good now stop that" "promise?" "Promise" he kisses her and they head home

[restinslices]

Crows As Vampires

Idk why I chose that gif-. Anyway I have had no inspiration or motivation to do anything. The mental illness is hitting. I am on my knees begging y’all to let me have this😭. No one’s born a vampire cause I don’t think vampires should be able to reproduce and in this universe how you’re changed determines what kind of vampire you are. I’ll explain later.

Kaz Brekker 

Kaz has screwed over plenty of people in his life. That's how life is as a criminal and he was damn good at it. Almost an expert. 

Almost being the keyword 

Kaz screwed over the wrong person. Unbeknownst to him, this person was actually a witch. The witch cursed him to have these symptoms we would call “vampirism”

Immortality so he would watch everyone he loves die. A lust for blood since he was a leech that led others like a lamb to a slaughter. Burning in the sun so he could stay a rat in the shadows. Ect. Ect. 

This would've been terrible for anyone else, but this is Kaz Brekker we're talking about. 

Also this isn't how nature works. Things can't be only good or only bad so nature gave him a few perks. 

All it took was some practicing and getting used to then boom, he was living his best life. 

He doesn't need the cane anymore, but he keeps it to trick others. 

Genuinely thinks the witch that cursed him is the dumbest person ever because all the weaknesses he can get around. The sun? He doesn't go outside much and can have others do shit for him. Holy water? Does this man look like he goes to church? A wooden stake? What are the chances? Garlic? He prefers onion powder-

He's a traditional vampire so blood tastes good no matter what. I don't know if he'd go hunting himself though. He'd probably have another Crow bring him something, like bringing the homie Wendy's if you just got some. 

Best part of vampirism is probably the animal control. It's the perfect distraction and this man is nuts so he'd probably have a rat jump on somebody with a phobia. 

I'd say hypnosis but I feel like Kaz enjoys the thrill he gets from outsmarting everyone. Hypnosis would be so boring to him. It'd only be used if he absolutely needed to. 

I think the part of vampirism he'd struggle with the most would be the feeding though. Not out of guilt but too many dead bodies make people raise a brow and that would affect business. 

Kaz would prefer feeding on people who don't really have anyone. I know you're thinking “duh! That's so obvious! Who wouldn't?”. Jesper. More on him later though. 

Kaz wants to go after opponents but knows that'll stir too much shit up. 

I wanna say he refuses to feed on kids ‘cause it'd remind him of him and Jordie but this is the same man who threatened a little girl and said he'd kill all her dogs just to make sure she wouldn't snitch. And when Wylan was like “that's not ok” he was like “I could've killed her and made it look like an accident”, so idk. Man is deranged. 

Kaz has red eyes because… uhhh… I want him to. 

I think vampires should have another face when they feed and his gotta be the scariest. This is The Bastard of The Barrel we're talking about here. You gotta feel fear in your veins. 

Overall, he's enjoying vampirism. Big mistake giving this man powers. 

Inej Ghafa

Inej would get turned when she's at the Menagerie 

One of the regulars came in but he was off. He was way more jumpy and sensitive to things. Inej knocked something over and instead of annoyance, he seemed to be in pain. Like his ears hurt. 

She didn't say anything though. Tante Heleen would kill her. 

Suddenly the man attacked her and bit her. She screamed but he covered her mouth with his hand. Inej did the only thing she could think of and bit his hand hard, drawing blood. The man was in pain and after a short fight, he snapped her neck and killed her. 

Weirdly though, Inej woke up after some time. It made no sense to anyone. Not to the other girls, Tante Heleen, the doctor, anyone. Inej should've been dead. Instead all she did was crack her neck and describe the guy who did it. 

The next day Kaz Brekker came and she introduced herself. The day after that, she no longer worked for Tante Heleen. 

Turns out the vampire who attacked her was a newborn. He had some of the vampire strengths, like advanced speed and strength but he also still had human qualities. Like human skin, instead of the impenetrable skin older vampires have. Kaz was hunting him down because his uncontrolled killings were causing a ruckus, that's when he met Inej and noticed something was off about her. She smelt like death.  

Inej turned instead of dying because when she bit him, it drew blood and she ended up swallowing it. Drinking a vampire's blood then dying was another way to be turned. 

Because she was terrified when it all happened, as a vampire blood tastes better if it's from someone scared. The more scared they are, the better. If she drinks normal blood, it tastes fine but it doesn't make her as strong or taste as good as blood from someone frightened. 

Inej doesn't really like going out of her way to scare the shit outta someone. Don't get me wrong, Inej ain't no punk but she sees it as “I'm scaring people for my own benefit? No thanks”. 

During her newborn stage, Inej was not fucking with it at all. There were benefits but she hated the idea of murder. The only reason she started drinking is because she was starving and Kaz threw a random person in the room. When she snapped out of it, she was horrified and she was angry because Kaz knew what he was doing. 

So she attempted to run away but the problem was the hunger obviously didn't stop. One day she saw a man she knew frequented the Menagerie. A man who was extremely abusive and had cut and injured the girls plenty of times. Again, she got angry. So angry she stalked and killed him. 

A lightbulb went off. She didn't wanna scare innocent people but abusers? They weren't innocent. So that's who she targeted. Oh and obviously she returned to the Crow Club. 

Only problem with abusers is unfortunately they have money and people looking at them so she can't go after a lot of them which leaves her back to drinking regular human blood. Sometimes she drinks from animals or steals blood bags. 

Best part of vampirism is how nimble she is. Sure she was a great acrobat before but her speed and agility change is the best to her. She could do so much more without worrying about forever losing her legs in a stupid accident. 

She's called a spider for a reason. 

I don't even think she'd care for the other powers. Yeah they're there and she'll use them but she's not too concerned. 

Worst part I think is the feeding but not for the same reasons as Kaz. Inej has a guilty conscience and she's also religious. I think the fact that she has to take innocent lives (when she can't get to bad people) would make her feel cursed. Like the Saints were against her or didn't hear her prayers anymore. How could she claim her heart belonged to them when her heart didn't even beat anymore? She was sinning often. It's not like killing on a job, that's when your back's against the wall. She's literally killing for her own selfish needs. 

It'd take her a while to come to terms that she's killing for survival and she never asked to become a vampire in the first place. 

Once she comes to terms with that I honestly don't see her using her powers for straight nonsense. She uses them to get jobs done and feeds when she has to. She's probably the one bringing Kaz take out when he's too lazy. 

Idk why but I feel like she'd have purple eyes. I don't have a reason. Just roll with me. 

Overall, she'd have conflicting feelings. The first couple years would be rough but she'd learn to embrace it. 

Jesper Fahey

Jesper is my favorite Crow and my favorite in the entire show but my poor babe is not all the way there sometimes. He's not dumb by any means but ya know, sometimes he's in a silly goofy mood. 

Jesper was turned when he was in college. Keep in mind, my boy was only there for what? A WEEK?

He lost at a game of cards and instead of beating him they were like “there's this book that a dead witch supposedly wrote. There's a ritual and everything, you gotta do it or pay me”. 

Jesper was like “bet, I ain't no hoe” (probably not with those words) and did the stupid ritual which consisted of blood, rain water and some chanting and nothing happened, much to the disappointment of his college pals and him. The ritual was supposed to give him powers or something. Too bad. 

Something weird started happening. Jesper was a funny guy and liked socializing but he swore he started feeling more energy course through him when he made everyone laugh. And when he walked outside, the sun burned. It left a mark and everything. 

He started skipping classes to avoid the sun and the kids he knew were too busy to constantly visit him. Since he was alone for a couple days, he felt incredibly hungry. 

One late night he was walking to get food when a lady fell hard. Jesper, being nice, ran over to help. That's when he noticed the smell of blood and it smelt amazing. Long story short, he ended up attacking her. When he realized what happened, he took a closer look at that book. He realized they didn't inform him about the negative side effects. And sure, he somewhat got it. What were the chances of it working? But since they made him do that instead of paying up, they knew there could've been a possibility of everything going left. 

He had no idea what was happening and ended up leaving college. Not only was he out of money (that's why he was so glad he wouldn't have to pay) but he worried about who else he would attack. He ended up working for gangs and as we know, Kaz found him. 

They ended up finding out that Jesper was special. Jesper was always the main focus in a crowd so when he became a vampire, that ability turned him into an emotional vampire. He didn't have to hunt people down and feed the old fashioned way. He could feed on people by absorbing their emotions when they felt a strong emotion, such as happiness. It made him feel amazing but it made them feel drained and depending on how much he took, they could faint. 

Now he could always just bite people but absorbing emotions is bigger. 

Best part of vampirism is hypnosis. If he's well fed and feeling strong, he can just hypnotize his gambling opponent into letting him win. 

Worst part is probably the sunlight. Jesper likes nighttime, don't get me wrong, but the fact that he's limited to only moving around at night is nuts to him. Since he shouldn't be doing it, he wants to do it more.

Jesper has to be reeled in by Kaz when it comes to feeding cause Jesper honestly will go after anyone. The more challenging, the more fun. He has to constantly be reminded that the more challenging, the more chance of being caught.  

He also reminds him that he doesn't have to bite people to feed but Jesper sometimes just likes the rush. 

Probably makes a bunch of vampire puns and Kaz is tired of his shit. 

He'd be even more on edge when it comes to his dad. It'd be even more of a reason to never see him again. He would only think about it when he 100% had his hunger under control. 

Idk what eye color he'd have tbh

Overall likes being a vampire but the side effects are there. 

Nina Zenik

After Nina took Parem, things didn't look good. It was obvious to everyone that Nina was dying. 

Nina was in the know when it came to vampires. She honestly didn't care and didn't have any interest at first. But as she sat there slowly dying, she wondered what life would've been like if she asked to be bit. 

The Saints seem to be listening because Inej walked in and said she wanted to help her. Nina knew how she'd help. 

Inej was getting closer and Nina couldn't help but feel nervous. Suddenly though, she saw Matthias. Inej simply made her think she was Matthias, but Nina was so delirious that she actually thought it was him. She thought of their life together so far and what they could have in the future. Her thoughts started to slip towards something more lustful and that's when “Matthias” shoved “his” bloodied arm at her. She drank it then her neck was quickly broken. 

She awoke soon after, beginning her new life. 

Nina is a sexual vampire, meaning blood tastes the best when it's someone experiencing feelings of lust or orgasming. 

Matthias experiences lust for Nina and has said she can drink from him but she doesn't trust herself. She's worried she got him out of Hellgate only to kill him later on. 

Instead she flirts with unsuspecting men and women. No sex obviously and they don't taste as good as they could but just that little bit of lust adds something to their blood. 

Best part of vampirism would be immortality. She's living forever with her family and doesn't have to worry about getting sick or dying again. 

Immortality is also the worst part. Matthias has always said he has no interest in being a vampire and the thought of him dying makes her think she should've let herself die on the boat (until she changes him against his will but moving on-)

Probably targets men and women with low level jobs. Like the people who guard doors of some building, rich people go to. Or fishermen. People whose disappearance can just be chalked up to them being irresponsible. 

Being a vampire is kinda in the middle for her. Not great but not terrible. Sometimes she wants to go outside during the day and can't. Sometimes she wants to eat something like garlic bread and can't. Sometimes she wants to wear silver jewelry and can't. It can be a real pain. 

When Matthias is human she treats him like he's delicate, because compared to her, he is. They arm wrestle and he's down for the count. 

The stereotype is that vampires sleep in a coffin but with how big Matthias is? Yeah, no. They'll just sleep in a dark room. 

Nina doesn't exactly want kids, but with Matthias she wouldn't mind them. Now they can't have them at all though and that choice being taken away isn't fun. Honestly any choice now taken away rubs her the wrong way. 

I feel like her eyes would also be red like Kaz. 

Overall is half and half about vampirism. 

Matthias Helvar 

As we all know, Matthias ends up dying in Crooked Kingdom. He didn't want it to happen, but he accepted it. He knew this would be the end. 

Imagine his surprise when he woke up months later. 

Turns out Nina wanted to turn Matthias into a vampire but acted too late. She ended up finding a witch who was willing to do a ritual to return his spirit to his body. Side effects would be symptoms of vampirism. 

As you can imagine, Matthias was very unhappy. Nina didn't have the excuse of “oh I panicked”. No. She found a witch and instead of asking for her future to be told, she whipped out his corpse. 

As a vampire Matthias is a soul vampire. When he feeds it decreases the lifespan of his victim, sometimes even killing them. As he gets older he learns he doesn't even have to bite his victims, but he does have to be close to them. 

It'd probably take years before he forgave Nina. Matthias, like Inej, is religious and thinks Djel can't hear him anymore because of what's happened. 

For awhile he can't see a positive to this situation. When he comes around to it and starts accepting it though, I think he'd enjoy that he's strong enough to continuously help people. 

Negative is everything for a while. Especially the fact he can't be near any holy items. Also immortality. Human lives are supposed to end, now his can't end without it being extremely painful. 

Feeding wouldn't be easy for him either. Not biting them allows him to disconnect but he still knows what he's doing and that's hard for him.

He eventually would forgive Nina but would never forget what happened. 

His eyes would remain blue but it'd be a lighter and more glowy (?) blue

Doesn't wanna participate in any vampire stereotypes. No coffin, no dark colors, none of that. 

His feeding is the most discrete. Jesper's could be too but we know him. Matthias just kind of hangs around and feeds until he's full enough. 

Matthias also drinks the souls of animals. It doesn't feed him as quickly or make him as strong but he was already a big and strong guy. 

Overall is not having a good time. I think it would take years for him to accept his new life. After that, he's not exactly happy. He's just accepted it is what it is. 

Wylan Van Eck

Wylan had a terrible relationship with his father, we know that. What everyone didn't know was that the family was holding a huge secret; Jan Van Eck was a vampire. He was turned after Alys became pregnant and thought things were great. Now he could be an asshole forever 

Van Eck noticed how much better he felt so he thought if he bit Wylan, he'd be cursed of his dyslexia and could read. 

He was wrong. Dyslexia isn't a physical injury so nothing happened. This made him angry and ended up leading him to hire people to kill Wylan on the boat to Ketterdam. As we know, Wylan escaped. Van Eck was sure he'd die because of lack of food or be exposed and killed. Either was good to him. 

Wylan didn't die though. Wylan had only been a vampire for a month so his control over his thirst was terrible. He didn't wanna hurt people so he tried to stay away and hunt animals. 

Not hurting people was easier said than done though. Ketterdam is full of people and jobs require you being around people. As you can imagine, there were a few slip ups. 

Kaz recruited him not only to make bombs but also because Inej caught him feeding on someone. He just didn't notice she was there. 

Once Wylan has his thirst under control, he prefers blood bags instead of actually hunting and hurting people. 

He isn't sure what his favorite part of vampirism is since the things he loves doing (chemistry and music) don't require any vampire things. He likes telepathy once he knows how to block his own thoughts from people. It's efficient being able to “whisper” to other people and Wylan is a bit nosey. When you're gonna live forever, you're gonna wanna hear drama. 

I think his least favorite part wouldn't be a specific part of vampirism. He'd just hate how he used to be. Whenever he thinks about how little control he had, it'd scare him. It shows how much of a monster he can be and he doesn't want that. 

I wanna give everyone red eyes but I'll say his are orange or yellow. Why? Idk. 

The type of vampire that legit forgets he's a vampire. Inej is like “want me to bring you back something to eat?” and he's like “oh sure. I heard this new spot just opened-”. 

Probably was gonna walk outside for a casual walk and another Crow had to grab him by the collar and pull him inside. 

“What's wrong?” “Wylan. The sun.” “What about it?.... oh”

This isn't me saying he's dumb, he just genuinely forgets. His mind is on other stuff all the time. 

Vampires become his hyper fixation and he starts saying random ass myths about vampires at all hours 

“Did you know people used to believe that you could trick a vampire by throwing things like rice at it? Supposedly it'd be compelled to count them all” “It’s 2am Wylan. Enough is enough”

Overall I don't think he has a strong opinion on being a vampire. Having his little family makes enjoying this new life easier. 

idk why this in particular finally gave me inspiration, but FINALLY my mind isn’t completely blank.

[borathae]

I have a question that I feel comfortable asking here cuz your a v v nice person

anyways ummm does cum actually taste good? I’ve never had sex lmao but I’ve always seen it described as like “oh your pussys so sweet” but like idk

pls help 😭

Pussy does not taste "sweet", I can tell you that much. If you read it in smut, I can guarantee you this is just for the sake of poetic dirty talk (you know just how you say "her kiss was the sweetest thing I have ever tasted", it's poetic and describes something pleasant/wonderful tasting).

So don't expect pussy to taste like sweets/candy/chocolate, pussy will taste like pussy JFJADSFJ 💀 if the person hydrated enough, ate their fruits & veggies, doesn't smoke or drink alcohol and has great hygiene, the taste will still be a good taste. It's just not going to taste like candies. Clean, healthy pussy smells like pussy at first until she gets wet and then she gets this warm, wet really good scent to it. Where you really wanna nuzzle your face into and go "grrrrrr pussy grrrr" NFNADSFN

As for dick, listen besties I gotta be honest with you all, the dudes I've been with, had terrible dick FHADHSFHA sorry but the taste still haunts me. It wasn't good, like sometimes I think about it and gag HAHAHH. But I know for a fact it was mostly because these dudes didn't hydrate, smoked, drank alcohol and rarely ate fruits/veggies also some were just straight up bad at hygiene. In my defense, I was a lot younger when I gave these dudes head, these days I would tell them to get their health in order first before I take them inside JFADJSFJ I have standards these days fnasdnf. But from my experience I can sadly only tell you that dick doesn't taste good JFADJSFJ sorry they also smelled so bad BESTIES I don't wanna badmouth dicks because I genuinely love dick and know that there are so many delicious dicks out there, but all the dicks I had were so bad NFANDSF sorry 😩

As for cum, I have a confession to make. I never had cum in my mouth before because the dick already grossed me out too much BHAHAHAH. I can tell you however that precum tastes salty af, sometimes bitter and mixed with the ball smell?, it's rancid omfg besties please I'm reliving all my blowjob traumas rn HAHA 💀 sorry I love dick I really do just not the ones I had NFANDSFN 💀

As for pussy cum, I would say it just gets more intense? idk if that's the right way to describe it but yeah the wet arousal taste just gets stronger. As for squirt, I never tasted squirt before but given what it is, I would say that it tastes salty as well? But I could be wrong 🤔 so forgive me, I never tasted cum or squirt before either. One because I refused and the other because it has never happened before.

In conclusion, it's honestly hard to describe how genitals smell and taste because at the end of the day, they taste/smell like genitals NDSNF just like chocolate will always taste & smell like chocolate, genitals also have their distinct notes. You get me?

But if you asked me, I would say that pussy is "sweeter" than dick. Yeah maybe I'll change my mind once I get the yummiest dick of my life, but sadly I cannot say this yet NFANDFN 💀

[mutatiio]

🩵 Anakin x Alpha

muse relationship headcanon game !!

who curses more? i'm gonna say anakin. he doesn't swear too often in conversation or around other jedi (specifically higher ranking ones - minus obi-wan), but does when he's flying or working on a droid and something goes wrong. he snags his fingers a lot so there's plenty of frustrated swearing.

who is more patient? alpha. he's a sniper and that requires patience a lot of the time. he's also gone on missions with anakin and survived them.

who does the driving? anakin, unless there's some reason he can't do it. he'd need to be immobilised or tending to something else to opt out of driving though.

who is louder? who is quieter? anakin is louder. he's bad at sitting in silence. brain is always going a million miles a second and he's always got something he wants to say or talk about (unless you've pissed him off, then he's stewing). alpha is quiet. speaks more when prompted or comfortable, i imagine.

who is more physically affectionate? anakin!! can't keep his hands off of his man. even more so when he realises alpha really likes the little touches. that's not to say alpha isn't also affectionate though. he drags anakin closer to him when he wants quiet time, strokes his hair. comforts him plenty of other times. they both like touching each other. like having someone who is theirs, in a way.

who is more likely to tease the other? they both tease each other. it's how they ended up getting together to begin with.

who is better with time management? i would say alpha. he's been trained as a soldier from the moment he could stand. anakin's not bad at time management. he's good at showing up for stuff he wants to be involved in or missions. but if he's got a meeting with the council then catch him accidentally spending too long doing ship repairs.

who wins the arm wrestling matches? alpha.

who controls the music in the car ride? alpha. he's in the passenger seat and anakin doesn't care what they listen to. i doubt alpha has much of a music preference to begin with, but anakin wants to change that.

who covers dinner when they order in? anakin. gotta spend that jedi dime.

who is more outgoing? who is more shy? anakin is both outgoing and shy, but he heavily leans towards outgoing. alpha is more shy. embarrassed with compliments, sheepish when they first kiss, quiet in most conversations.

who has the more outlandish fashion sense? neither. alpha wears republic supplied armour and anakin usually wears his jedi robes. given the chance, i think they'd both be pretty evenly not outlandish though.

who starts the tickle fights? who ends them? anakin starts them and alpha likely ends them. big man can just lay on him.

who has the darker/more "edgy" sense of humor? i would say alpha does since he 'jokes' about assassinating senators for convenience sake. however, i'm not completely certain that those are jokes.

who is more competitive when it comes to games? i think they would both be competitive when it comes to playing against each other. i feel that alpha might be competitive against other people, specifically his brothers because he feels he has something to prove?? it's difficult when you're being compared to another being that was cloned from the same person you were. and anakin is also competitive in pretty much every sense. they're on equal footing there.

who has the bigger appetite? the bigger sweet tooth? anakin starts off with a big appetite, his stomach could never keep up though. he ate loads when he was a kid. he can still demolish food quite easily, but with the war and rations not tasting good, he's taken to eating less. typically forgets and skips meals when he's busy. alpha would have been raised on kamino and likely got very generic food. and then the war so he's also on terrible rations. still, i feel that he needs to eat decently well to maintain all those muscles. neither really strike me as having massive sweet tooths.

who is more likely to get in a confrontation in public? both. i'd say anakin has more opportunities to and therefore has done it more often. but i feel that alpha would be just as quick to go for the throat as anakin.

who hosts the parties/hangouts? who organizes them? anakin for both. but the only parties he's hosting is like. birthday parties for obi-wan or ahsoka or last minute celebration for the 501st when they get home from an exhausting mission.

who is better at cooking? do they ever cook for each other? i doubt the kaminoans cared to teach the clones anything about cooking. anakin learned from shmi and obi-wan. while he's not passionate about cooking, he's happy to do it for people he loves. so he'd definitely cook for alpha.

who is more likely to engage in dangerous and/or illegal behavior? both lmao. alpha wants to kill senators. anakin is chaos reincarnated. they're a horrible duo. god bless anyone who has to tag along with them.

who is more likely to notice when something is wrong with the other? anakin's gonna spot 99% of issues because a single change in behaviour gets him anxious that alpha suddenly hates him. so he's bound to actually ask when something is genuinely wrong. but alpha probably spots it more accurately. though anakin doesn't leave it a mystery. he's very Off when he's upset or angry. you'd have to be across the galaxy to not be able to tell.

who does the talking in public settings (i.e. to the waiter at a restaurant)? i think anakin would do it more.

who is more likely to extend a helping hand & provide emotional support? they'd both try to help the other and they're both good at it in their own way and those ways tend to be good for the other. silent reassurance from alpha to anakin and anakin with his verbal praise/hype energy.

who is the bigger prankster? do they get the last laugh or do they suffer for it? anakin for pranks and he gets punished but is also getting the last laugh because he enjoys the punishments he's given.

[delusionaid]

✖☠♢☢✿ teehee <333

salty munday meme

You just want to see the world burn~

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

My gods, where do I start? When I started we all had ridiculous URLs with 4 dashes in each, we all used random huge gifs as reactions, nobody formatted anything or used small text, and a LOT of people I knew were actually in RP groups and not independent blogs. None of the common staples of RP now were a thing the people I used to write with thought about, I feel: blog rules were none-existent or very very short and basic, exclusivity was not that big a thing (except for the group RPs), blog graphics really didn't matter.

Obviously I can't speak for all of tumblr and all fandoms, but that was my experience in the early days. It felt very low effort and low pressure but high fun. There was a lot less drama than nowadays too, from what I remember, and the overall atmosphere was quite welcoming and.. silly.

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

Be rude or mean or cruel or overall obnoxious to me or others. I don't agree with everyone on everything and I don't expect that from anybody else either. But there are things like common decency and manners and mutual respect and tolerance. As long as these things are present, we're going to be just fine. If I see you hating on others or bullying them - and I don't care about your reasons for it - I'm out. We could have absolutely opposing views on e.g. ships but be respectful about it and we'll get along. However, we could have the exact same taste in ships yet I see you hating on other people or being a bully (even if you're nice to me) and we'll absolutely not be friends. Be kind, it takes less energy than being a terrible human being, actually.

Gotta put the rest under a cut because it's long :)

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz

I'm not sure about RP, I don't really pay attention to that. I don't particularly care as long as someone doesn't kinda copy me and then try to go to my writing partners with the same ideas. If someone took my verses or headcanons 1:1 to write them with their own friends and writing partners, honestly have at it. My headcanons also have to be quite specific for me to feel like they're unique to my portrayal. People who write the same muses often come up with similar things because we base it on what we deduce from observing canon and there will be overlaps.

I've had people steal and repost my fanfictions though. And I've had my graphic edits and gifsets reposted without my permission.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

Purple prose writing - I never liked it and I never will. Generally excessive formatting too, to be honest. It get that it looks cool, but unless you are engaging in calligram poems the focus on aesthetics over content for me seems a bit misplaced. As always, to each their own, and if that's the art you are aiming to create here then you are doing a fabulous job, but it's simply not what I am looking for.

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

I think they're bad. More often than not they feel like an excuse to bully people and they create more harm than good. They are never fully honest, never an objective recount of events and never lead to any positive outcomes as far as I can tell. They're the modern online version of trying to create an angry lynch mob to get someone burned at the virtual stake. I reject callout posts and cancel culture in general wholeheartedly.

Of course there are dangerous and shady people in online spaces (like there are away from your computers as well) and in very rare cases it might be good to make a community aware of an ongoing issue or the possibility of something happening. There should be a GENERAL awareness of the dangers of the online world and strangers that could help prevent actual serious incidents. That said, most callouts I've seen are not about serious cases, they're about people having personal altercations that have nothing to do with the rest of the community and should not be discussed in a public war of who's better at making the other look like a psychopath. There are good reasons why in real life, if someone is accused of a crime it's forbidden for people to take justice into their own hands and go after them. When you see a callout on your dash, you never have all the facts, nobody ever seems to question the source of these callouts (enough), they're always incredibly biased and presenting "evidence" out of context (which is the opposite of transparent), and never encourage you to listen to both sides of the story and make your own opinion of it. All of that should make you think twice before you even consider reblogging that. Also: imagine someone wrote a callout about you, with ill-intent, fabricating lies and making your past (& private) messages look shady out of context. Would you want total strangers to shun or even attack you without giving you the benefit of the doubt? I guess not, huh? Do not carelessly treat things as good that you don't want to happen to you in a bad case scenario.

It's just a hard pass for me. I reject this as a way of dealing with personal problems. Not to mention that I don't relate to people's desire to air their dirty laundry on social media. Try to fix your personal issues in private and think about the future consequences of your actions before you publish a lengthy text about someone who wronged you, calling them all sorts of names and things that you will likely find far less appropriate in a year from now, potentially ruining their other friendships, messing with potential new friendships, their chance to calmly reflect on their behavior, and possibly get them ostracized from an entire FANDOM.

[the-haunted-office]

[ SPLASH ]:     sender and receiver arm themselves with water guns and prepare to soak one another in a water fight.

@katsuko-rp-blog

“I’m so excited that you’re staying the night, Katsuko!” Thursday says, practically humming with energy. She rubbing her hands together and shuffling her feet around a lot, and grinning. “We are gonna do all the things. And I mean it. ALL the things, ehehehe. Better get some of these energy drinks going, because we’re gonna need them to keep us going!”

She then announces, “First thing’s first! Let’s get to baking some goodies for us to snack on the rest of the evening!”

[ OVEN ]:     sender and receiver engage in a baking challenge against one another (think GBBO, but for two people in one kitchen!).

 [ PICNIC ]:     sender and receiver arrange and enjoy a living room/bedroom picnic together

[ FROZEN ]:    sender and receiver design an ice-cream sundae bar together.

[ PIZZA ]:    sender and receiver make pizzas together from scratch.

Thursday wants to bake cupcakes.

Katsuko wants pizza.

So, naturally, rather than either picking one or both simply baking their own thing, they decided to make a competition out of it to see whose cuisine would reign supreme.

Well, the kitchen is a mess and she has no idea who won that competition, but at least they have cookies and pizza now!

“Suppose this means we both won, ehehehe,” Thursday laughs, and starts piling up the goodies on a rolling cart to wheel off to her room for them to enjoy, leaving behind a huge mess in the kitchen that she swears she’ll get to later.

[ VIBE ]:     sender and receiver listen to music together.

[ STYLE ]:     sender and receiver do each other’s make-up.

After polishing of most of the pizza and a fair amount of the cookies, Katsuko has insisted on doing Thursday’s make-up.

Thursday hates make-up. She hates the way it makes her face feel. It makes her face feel like it can’t breathe - it’s terribly uncomfortable to her. But... she allows Katsuko to do it.

“Just no mascara, please. I hate those bristles being so close to my eyes! I literally can’t sit still enough for you to do it, I’ll keep flinching and you’ll eventually blind me. So, everything else, okay, but no mascara!”

She puts on some nice trance music to introduce Katsuko to some of her favorite music while she goes about putting make-up on her.

[ KARAOKE ]:     sender and receiver sing karaoke together. [ BOOGIE ]:     sender and receiver dance to music together (either a full chaotic dance party or a slow dance)

Now that they’re both all make-upped - with Thursday’s much better done than the clown face she accidentally put on Katsuko - the music gets changed to fun 80′s pop and rock music. This being some of Thursday’s most absolute favorite music, of course her energy is rekindled.

Thursday teaches some of her favorite Starship songs to Katsuko and helps her learn how to sing them, and also tells her the story of how she and Cyrus sang “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” for Stanley and the bucket during their pretend wedding. The room is full of laughter and eventually she beckons Katsuko to dance with her.

Hopefully none of the leftover cookies or pizza got stepped on.

[ GAME ]:     sender and receiver enjoy a game night (using video games, board games and other mediums) together.

[ BOARD ]:     sender and receiver play board games together.

[ SIP ]:     sender and receiver play drinking games (not necessarily using alcohol! just a drink of choice) together (e.g. never have i ever, where one person says something they’ve never done before, and the other drinks if they have done it, or doesn’t if they haven’t).

After all the dancing shenanigans, it’s decided to sit down and play some board games together. And drinks - that’s important, gotta have the drinks out. Thursday despises the taste of alcohol, so she decides to stick to sparkling grape juice.

“Here, I have so show you the game of Life. It was my favorite growing up! I loved the little cars, and filling up the cars with kids, ehehehe,” she laughs while setting everything up. “My best friend at the time - Sherry - and I modified the game a little bit. We made it so that instead of getting $5000 from every player when you have a baby, you pay $5000 either to whoever is the doctor or just to the board. More realistic that way! Oh! And we also created our own fake Life tiles, like one of them I remember had something to do with George Clooney and some of them even made you lose money at the end. It upped the challenge a bit! Now, for housing, personally I always liked the trailer, because it said ‘deals on wheels’ on the card and for some reason that always struck me as funny, ehehehe.”

[ OUTAGE ]:     sender and receiver end up stuck at home during a blackout and come up with electricity-free ways to entertain themselves.

They’re in the middle of Life when the power suddenly flickers a couple of times, and then goes out altogether.

“Oh... Oh, that’s not good... That magical battery that Jackson set up for us was supposed to last at least a year! I wonder if something’s gone wrong,” says Thursday, getting up to get her mobile phone and calling Thisday, who is up in the control booth. “Hey, man, what’s going on up there? We lost power down here.”

“So I’m told that, uh, some, like, eight foot tall street lamp thing got into the office and somehow took out the power with it,” Thisday explains. “That’s, ah, that’s all according to Cyrus and Aurora, by the way, I only caught a brief glimpse of it before we lost power, so- just stay in your room! You and Katsuko stay where you are, I’m going to go downstairs and see what we’ve got going on here.”

The line disconnects.

Thursday turns to look at Katsuko, using the light from her phone to see.

“Apparently a rogue street lamp is terrorizing the office. Wanna go check it out?”

[ PILLOW ]:     sender and receiver engage in a pillow fight with each other.

[ TWIST ]:     sender and receiver play a game of twister together.

[ FIGHT ]:     sender and receiver engage in a game of play wrestling together.

[  spar  ]  Thursday beats Katsuko in a fight!

After taking care off the street lamp creature and restoring power to the office, Thursday and Katsuko eat some more pizza and cookies and ice cream, and then, since they are both wound up with adrenaline, decide to start a pillow fight. While playing Twister. Which turns into wrestling. Which miraculously leads to Thursday successfully pinning Katsuko down onto the floor... although she knows the kitsune would easily toss her away.

“Hahahaaaaa, I knew all those Red Bulls would come in handy!” she declares.

[ Q&A ]:     sender and receiver play the question game together (i.e. asking random, soul-searching questions which they must answer honestly)

[ JIGSAW ]:     sender and receiver do jigsaw puzzles together.

It is finally time to start winding down, so Thursday gets out an all white jigsaw puzzle she found online and decided she wanted to try out for the sheer hell of it.

“This sucks!” she complains as she’s hunting for the one white piece out of 500 identical ones that she needs. “Whose idea was it to get this thing?! Well, maybe we’ll get like, halfway done before it gets too late,” she says, ignoring the fact that by now it’s already two in the morning.

While working on the puzzle, Thursday chatters about her life before the office, about her childhood, about her mother, about school, about her friends. The meaning of life. Why she’s not religious. When she realized she liked girls as well as boys. All that fun stuff.

She trails off in the middle of explaining that she should have shown Katsuko what happens when you put Mentos in Diet Coke because she has suddenly fallen asleep.

Hours later she wakes up with puzzle pieces stuck to her face and a room full of pizza crusts and cookie crumbs, but also a night full of fun memories!

[firespirited]

So having identified that I need to change a bunch of habits, here’s what I’ve done. personal accountability check in yay.

Exercise: no abdominal work just dorsal stretches, added a steep-ish small hill to my walk instead of two walks to work my hips more. Made peace with the grumpy man on the hill who hates dogs by telling him he’s totally right, it is disgusting (he is fr totally in his right to be upset, people are terrible at cleaning up after their dogs and several just roam free) and showing him that I don’t just pick up my dog’s but other people’s dog turds.

Will test 1 leg at a time abdominal work early May and if the pain causes the whole back seizing, we move it to June, etc...

Ergonomic computer use: I got out of the habit of typing due to a need for speed, especially in french with all the accents on the top and side and I’d like to stop pecking at the keyboard until it becomes the default. Can’t hide the keys as i peck from memory. just gotta keep catching myself and switching back into f j position.

Treats: new dolls that need TLC are out of the question and I’ve done a decent job at saying No to cool dolls that would “just need...” but that’s not enough. I’ve saved my ebay and aliexpress bookmarks to separate google notes and archived them and removed most from my browser. Same with amazon warehouse and leboncoin. There are a couple of Monster High I’d like to find and de-glue (& possibly de-stain this summer) but only if they appear at reasonable prices. I’m going to switch focus to making sure everyone is dressed and nicely displayed.

This does leave a void where the dopamine of new arrivals and projects was and that’s something to further ponder. Having things to look forward to is good for my mental health. The surprise element and “oh remember that doll” element of ebay thrifting was good too. Can’t be craft materials, I have what I need in makeup, don’t wear jewellery as I tend to swell and de-swell during the day and get irritated around the neck. sugar is not an option. local supermarket is very limited with new tastes to try. I’ll figure something out - It’ll probably be in the middle of the night after a day of brainstorming and being stumped!

Projects: I’ve decided to part with 4 more: Myscene Westley Tshirt, Barbie fashionistas greek, Barbie Grace fashionistas, Barbie Mbili blue brocade fashionistas

Getting stuff out of the house has proven more difficult, very low traffic on ebay france so it’ll probably be heads only, tracked bubble envelopes worldwide via instagram then ebay dot com when I can get that organized.

Part of that is reluctance (and reluctance to deal with the nail-biting drama of postage) but I’ve been really quite wiped by pain and the extra exertion.

Entertainment: dolltube didn’t yield much so far, I like retrospectives but that doesn’t happen often. I need to venture more into the doll crafting that’s entertaining vs crafting that makes me sad I can’t do it if that makes sense? Think Bobby Finger’s incredible diorama story videos. Also looking into documentaries that aren’t downers like How Things Are Made and upcycling stuff.

Find EU rerooters: not done but I have closed my commissions page and wiped all the numbers.

Make friends: well I got myself in some drama but I am trying to resist the strong urges to go hermit-mode, still deleting posts before I press send but eventually we’ll get there. Trying to connect with more french doll collectors. Shoot I have two messages to french ladies about rerooting I need to reply to and chickened out.

Sort damaged or too baggy clothes: still too soon. I managed 1 pair of super pilled and worn trousers. I think i’ll have perspective on the jumpers as soon as it’s hot and they don’t look so cosy with memories of being soft and warm.

[deshoveledmess]

A 2 Year Reflection

July 2021 - July 2023. 2 years.

2 years, and one hell of a ride later. I sit contemplating all the changes and memories within the last 2 years. What would the David of 2 years ago think of the David now? Or how would the David now think of the David of 2 years ago. Many things changed about me, physically, emotionally, mentally. This is just a little piece about everything that I’ve learned over the 2 years.

My life in Singapore can be broken down into a few distinct phases. Pre-NS, Recruit and Trainee Life, Unit Life, and finally, ORD Life. It’s quite a general break up, but it is how most guys would describe their NS journey as well. There are stories and lessons learnt during each phase in my NS journey, stay a while and dip your toes into my memoir of my NS life.

My NS starts unlike many others with the initial enlistment. No, my NS story begins pre-enlistment. I arrived back in Singapore, on the tail end of COVID-19. I was given 1 week after my graduation to report back to Singapore, and there I was.

Lesson 1: Mental Health Here’s lesson 1. Mental Health, something I was really struggling with at the time. I’ve since developed, probably, very different views on it now than back then. I was still very much set on getting over a girl and determined to only message her once a month, just to check on how she was doing. At the same time, I picked up a part time job at a ramen store in downtown. It was a combination of messaging her more often than I promised, the lack of sunlight in that basement kitchen, and exhaustion in general that led back to a relapse in mental health issues. I took some time off work, to recover and quit a month before my enlistment date of 050122.

During this period, I was probably still much like a kid. I got a brief taste of what working life was like. I did feel like I brought different views to the friends around me at the time, maybe due to the fact that I lived overseas. As a person, i probably would hate who I was back then. But all in all, pre-enlistment life was one of freedom. Although, maybe too much freedom can become, itself, a vice as well.

The transition to Recruit life on tekong resort, although not terrible (due to my personal PES Status) still came with its own troubles.

Lesson 2: Not everyone will like you, and you shouldn’t give a fuck anyways Yea, I said it. Dude, there will always be haters, whatever you are doing. Maybe someone doesn’t like your face, maybe they think you’re too attention seeking, maybe they’re just racist. it happens, fuck you gon’ do about it. It’s just a part of life, whether the other person is jealous or what not, there will always be haters. Even more so if you are excelling and a certain part in life.

I faced some racism in the fact that I wasn’t seen as a chinese person, or a singaporean, more specifically. There are some that shun you for having lived your life overseas, and that you aren’t one of them. Yea, shit happened. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.

Lesson 3: Build your own connections This one’s important. Even thought there were people in my same section in BMT that hated my guts just caused I lived overseas, there are people that are also curious about you. Not everyone is an asshole, you’ll always have at least 1 friend, you just gotta find out who they are.

BMT kinda threw me into this weird environment where you gotta learn how to make friends. You survived only by being able to make friends and help each other out in times of need. It forces you to use your social skills to survive. Without a unified section, you would all suffer.

Lesson 4: It is what it is, suck thumb and carry on I learned a bit of this lesson at the tail end of my BMT. I was appointed Platoon IC. Whilst the position of appointment was only supposed to last for a week, mine lasted for 3 whole weeks. Why? I have no clue.

Platoon ICs are in charge of carrying out and disseminating information to the rest of the platoon. Although it is seen as a position of authority, if you or your platoon fucked up, it’s on you. I was appointed close toward the end of BMT, when all of our high keys had already been completed. What does this mean? Well, people don’t really give a fuck anymore. It was a tough time getting people to cooperate with me in counting stores and all that cause it would’ve been free time otherwise. But this takes it back to lesson 3. That group of connections you built, they’ll help you out.

My Trainee life was split into 2 main phases. Security Trooper and Navy phase. My Trooper phase went by quite smoothly although, to the end, there was an important lesson I did learn... 

Lesson 5: Physical Health is important Throughout my BMT, I didn’t really take physical health too seriously. I did a lot of cardio, but nothing serious in terms of weight training. I managed to lose up to 5kgs due to the fact that camp food was inedible and that we did cardio only. I suffered from serious back pains then, due to only training chest and arms back in my high school days. The muscle imbalance caused severe back pains through BMT and IDTI life. I’d always blamed it on a disk herniation back in my Volleyball days. One of my specs suggested it was muscle imbalance and that I hit the gym to build a stronger back.

I never really took that too seriously, although I did start hitting the gym and climbing with some of my BMT section mates in April (end of trooper phase). Things were smooth sailing until I got to the second part of Naval Training.

Lesson 6: Stop being a lil Bitch This one’s a fun one. My naval training phase wasn’t easy. Naval culture had it’s methods of breaking down individuals more so than army did. There are many stories that I have that contributed to this experience, however, 3 main ones stick out. 215 turnout, Tests, and Turnout test. Within the span of 1 month, and these three events, I grew to develop a stop being a little bitch mentality.

These were by far some of the toughest times during my training phase. Studying 16 hours a day (wait did you just say study??? yes, yes I did. These tests weren’t easy fr), sleeping in a room not knowing when an ear piercing alarm would go off, and all the hazing that we went through after it did go off. Although I must say I was quite thankful for the experience. It had helped me develop a mindset and brought me closer to my batchmates and senior batch as well.

Lesson 7: Being a teacher It’s often said that every man should have a mentor, equal, and mentee. My NS followed a similar structure. It wasn’t long before the next batch of juniors came in, and it was our turn to take over in the training of the junior batch. Teaching the material was not only more mentally straining than studying for it, it was also more physically straining. Zavier and I would spend the whole day in the ops room teaching our juniors. Teaching was more than just imparting the knowledge that had previously been given to us, it was also about building a bond with those that were under us as well. It was more than just, write this, read this. At the end of the day, We managed to get them through their junior phase and into the next.

Along came Supervising batch. I took upon myself the responsibility of doing morning duty at the main tower. Maybe it was because I was there that the xinjiao might not have been able to learn as quickly, but what’s done is done. I would come to learn that taking a step back may be what is necessary in crucial times.

Lesson 8: Everything is worth trying, at least once Everything is worth trying once. that’s what I believe. I used to say “I’m not a clubber and never will be”. “What’s so fun about loud music and jumping up and down”? Well, I found out what was so fun about it. I really enjoyed clubbing, and I still do. Maybe it’s because I have obsessive type of personality? But yea, if I didn’t try clubbing, many things in NS would’ve probably gone differently. So try everything, even if it’s just once. You never know what might be your thing.

Lesson 9: Stepping up to the plate Supervising batch was pretty smooth sailing, but I was selected to take over as the next 2IC, and for an extended term at that. I would say that my 2IC term was relatively smooth sailing at the start as well. However, I would say that I did learn a few things during those times. Leadership skills was definitely one of them. I needed to discover myself as a leader. What type of leader I was, or wanted to be. We all dealt with our own individual problems as leaders within the unit. I won’t go into details of what issues I came across during my term, but let’s just say, some people are dipshits and I had to learn to work with that.

Having stepped up to the leadership role and completing my duties faithfully, it was finally my turn to step down from the military life style. With it, I would learn a lesson that I would not be able to fix.

Lesson 10: Taking a step back/Letting go I’ll admit that I’m honestly quite passionate about serving in the military, after all, it did teach me many lessons. One of these lessons I only learnt recently. After completing my duties, it was time for me to take a step back from all of it. Not having to go into camp as much, not needing to be there for the platoon, letting the next generation of soldiers step up to their respective plates. At the time, there were some changes made to the standard operations, to which I got quite furious about. It was a change to activation that would greatly slow down our timings. Although I wanted to maintain the same timing for activation, I had to learn to take a back seat and let the next generation fend for themselves. For me, it was about letting go of that passion and look forward to the next phase in my life.

It’s been one hell of a ride for sure. So many ups, so many downs. It was fun though. All the experiences I had, the friends I made, food I ate. Was it worth the 2 years? Yea, I’d say so. It was well worth the 2 years.

[archduchessofnowhere]

That Vogue interview annoyed me so much that I have to comment it in more detail, so semi rant incoming lol. The translation was made by @sisionscreen (you can find the whole interview in their blog, I also reblogged it earlier). Thank you for enduring the job of translating this mess!

To show the desired modernity, costume designer Gabriela Reumer took a central role. The Swisswoman is known for her work on TV productions like Soko Wismar and movies like “Rabbit without Ears”,“Guardians” and “Traumfabrik” and had to familiarize herself with the 19th century royal fashion first - and wasn’t too fond of some of the things she found. “I immediately had the ambition to choose a different approach to the costumes than the classic-historical one.”

You see the thing about this is that there isn't a single piece of Elisabeth centered media that has historically accurate costumes. The closest one is the 2009 mini series, which respects the silhouttes of the time and recreates some of her most known looks - but it still plays loose with history. There isn't anything groundbraking in modernizing Elisabeth's dresses.

Reumer: Today it is desired in period dramas that everything is modern and different in terms of film making or production. That is a great undertaking and not easy to do. But you have to adapt a bit to the present and adapt the story for the eyes of today because a lot just doesn't work anymore. About 1850, women were like furniture. They were adorned, one could say decorated, so you look at them. The most important thing was that it was a lot. Actually this is unbearable, the women were like dolls. At this time, the crinolines, a kind of hoop skirt, were like a sphere and gave the women this doll likeness. But this didn't fit the story of Sisi for me, this woman, that emancipated herself and freed herself from the oppression and power plays. So I asked myself how could one dress women more dynamically. So I changed the shape of the crinolines towards something that came into fashion in the 1870s: flat in the front and a bit elliptical in the back. I used this shapes for Sisi and Sophie.

I will ignore the whole "women were furnitures" take and just focus on the second part, about crinolines not "fitting" Sisi's story. Because if Sisi is meant to be this free spirited girl that was thrown into a gilded cage, and this is a coming of age story of her emancipating herself, then wouldn't it make perfect sense for her to wear the 1850s crinolines? If your take is that crinolines were oppressive, and that Elisabeth was oppressed at court, then her wearing them to represent that is a no brainer. Then you can signify her freeing herself by having her not wear them anymore by the end of the season (or at whatever point in the show this happens). Forget historical accuracy, giving Elisabeth a 1870s bustle doesn't make sense narratively.

Vogue: So did you also see the originals clothes of Empress Elisabeth?

Reumer: Yes, at Schönbrunn, but I found them awful. Everything was so tacky. I'm usually very minimalistic when it comes to my costumes.

Well Gabriela, Elisabeth didn't dress having in mind getting your approval. Nor should you expect a rich royal woman from the 19th century to have the same taste in fashion as you.

Vogue: Then why did you agree to be the costume designer after all?

I wonder the same thing.

Reumer: At the beginning, I wondered what I was actually doing here. But then I viewed it as a challenge. There are also very nice great from this time. The men's clothing is awesome with its frock-coats from great materials and high tophats. It is crazy what one can do with shapes.

You can tell that Reumer isn't into historical fashion at all because she likes Victorian male fashion aka literally the Most Boring Male Fashion in history.

Vogue: Was there a character you found difficult to dress?

Reumer: In the beginning, this was the case with Emperor Franz. He always showed himself in uniform and we had to figure out how to show him without a uniform. How do you show what kind of person he really is? That wasn't simple. Also to make the uniform fit in a way he can move like an emperor was a challenge. For example, he wears a corsage underneath it to support him.

Ok I actually like this! Men wore corsets too! I hope this makes it into the screen, we have way too many scenes of women being tightlaced and not any of men wearing corsets because they were a practical undergarment that gave support.

Overall this interview deeply annoyed me because the way Reumer talked about it, it seems that the modern look of the costumes (which is a trend in period dramas that recently has become very popular thanks to shows such as Bridgerton) is solely due to her just not liking 1850s fashion. Modernization can work for narrative purposes, Bridgerton is a full-on romance fantasy that has nothing to do with actual history so the glittery dresses work to enphasize that. RTL Sisi is also so loosely based on the actual Elisabeth of Austria's life that the modern fabrics and designs work to separate it from real history. Even the Sissi Trilogy with its Disney-princess-like dresses does this. Many times this is not even the designers fault, usually the director has a vision for the story and the designer has to work around that. But I do expect at least some respect for the source material. To say that you hated what the actual woman wore and instead you took inspiration from random moments in fashion history that you liked is just tasteless, what can I say.

That being said I do hope that the final look of the show's costumes is at least cohesive and do make sense within the narrative of the story. But yeah this was dissapointing.

[ahundredtimesover]

Fight for You (07) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: bodyguard!jk x heiress!reader; angst, smut (18+)

Chapter Warnings (series warnings in the masterlist!): foul language; mention of past kidnapping; slightly jealous jk, explicit sexual content (making out, dirty talk, dry humping, breast play, begging, slight edging, oral (m & f), fingering, unprotected sex [but please be safe!]) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 11k

Series Summary: Working at a private security agency has its perks. The downside? Being the personal bodyguard of spoiled, rich heiresses like you. But there are things that Jungkook didn’t expect, like rejecting you, falling for you, and realizing what he’d been missing all along.

A/N: Hi! Still on a little break! 😊 It’s the penultimate one so I hope you enjoy! And huge thanks to Ash @jimilter for this wonderful banner! 💞 If I missed tagging you, please let me know!

Listen to: Dancing with Our Hands Tied, False God, and Afterglow by Taylor Swift

Series Masterlist || Previous | Next

##

You feel your heart sink as your house comes into view, knowing that it’s another day closer to Jungkook returning to your father’s security team and being away from you.

He’s a little jittery, too, as you watch him from the backseat of the car, just like he’d been since the plane landed this morning. Throughout the day when you attended your meetings, he wasn’t his usual serious, focused self, but you did catch him many times gaze at you a little longer than usual then softly return your smile. 

Now, he’s constantly clearing his throat and drumming his fingers on his lap, eyes flitting from one direction to another. You want to hold his hand and tell him that it’s gonna be okay - whatever it is he’s nervous about - and that you’re gonna work it out. If Mr. Sim notices anything off, you’re glad he doesn’t mention it.

You arrive home as the sun sets, and Jungkook makes it to your luggage first before he helps you out of the car, your yearning looks and brushing of fingers intensifying as each second passes. 

The front door opens followed by Mrs. Hwang’s questioning voice. “Oh, Jungkook!” She greets, perhaps surprised that you let him be this close to you.

Jungkook returns the greeting and glances at you before you order him to take your things to your room, something that surprises everyone around you.

“I have a few things I need him to retrieve from my shelf,” you clarify, trying hard to level your voice to not give yourself away.

“Yes, Ms. Lee,” he says.

He walks ahead of you, shyly smiling at Mrs. Hwang then heads upstairs, remembering the last time he was here, which was when he took you home after your birthday. He grins to himself at the thought of how things have changed since then. 

You open the door and let him in, instructing him to leave the luggage by the couch then you lock the door. Right as he turns around, you lunge at him, catching him by surprise, his wide eyes and parted lips slowly turning into a look of desire. 

With your arms wrapped around his neck, you pepper his face with kisses as he chuckles.

“You’re a terrible liar,” he says.

“I know. That’s why we gotta make it quick,” you smirk, pulling him into a heated kiss, your tongues entangling in between soft moans and giggles.

You both slowly lose yourselves in the moment, as he moves to lay you on your bed and his lips make the trek from your mouth to your neck then down your breasts. Feeling your desperation, he hurriedly unbuttons your blouse, removes his clothes, then pulls off your trousers.

You whine when he licks then nips your clothed pussy, causing him to growl.

“Need you inside me, Jeon. Want you now,” you pant, aching to be filled again. 

You’ve had a taste and now you can’t get enough, wanting nothing more than to feel his essence in you.

“I got you, angel,” he smirks, moving your thong aside and quickly positioning himself, shoving his cock inside you, with you taking in the pain and pleasure. 

He lowers himself and you bite his neck to keep yourself from making much noise, sucking and moaning as he thrusts in your pussy, feeling himself get lost in your warm walls that’s accommodating all of him, and that’s enough to get his orgasm to build. 

He continues his pace, knowing there’s not much time left. His one hand now strokes your breast, the added sensation causing you to clench around him and reach your highs at the same time. 

You let him cum inside you, having had the talk about being clean and being on the pill last night, and your pussy tightens once more when you feel his warmth, prompting Jungkook’s head to fall on your neck.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groans.

You giggle and hug him, your fingers stroking his hair as you pepper kisses on the side of his head, something he enjoys with how gently you do it. 

Much as you want to stay like this longer, you know you don’t have the luxury to, so you tell him to get up and bring down any box from your shelf so as not to look too suspicious. He does as asked and you both hastily fix yourselves and try to keep neutral expressions when you return to the living room. 

Mrs. Hwang and Mr. Sim are standing by the couch, smiling at both of you. 

After a beat of awkward silence, Mr. Sim asks. “Is there something you two want to tell us?”

Your eyes widen. “Us? No,” you scrunch your eyebrows. “There’s nothing to tell. Why would you think there is? I don’t think there’s anything that’s of importance. In fact—“

Jungkook clears his throat, signaling that your babbling is just giving you both away.

“Okay, so tell me…” Mrs. Hwang grins, walking towards you to fix the mismatched buttons of your blouse and your slightly tangled hair. She looks at Jungkook who’s visibly nervous. 

“Did Jungkook go about his day with a hickey on his neck or was that something he got while he, uhm, retrieved something from your shelf a few minutes ago?” She cocks an eyebrow.

You open your mouth to try and say something but it’s no use. This is a woman who knows you through and through and there’s no point in lying. 

It’s your dry laugh that confirms it, if your warm cheeks that probably heated up the room already haven’t. 

“Uhm, yeah. There may be a teeny tiny thing that we might have to tell you,” you mumble.

Mrs. Hwang pinches your cheek in adoration. “Okay, then. Why don’t you both tell us over dinner? I prepared some stew.”

**

You awake the next morning with a heavy arm on your waist and warm breath on your neck. After last night’s dinner and G-rated narration of how you and Jungkook ironed things out, you koala-hugged your bodyguard until he got the message that you didn’t want him to leave. 

He agreed to stay the night, internally gushing over your pouty lips and fluttering eyelashes as you shyly asked if he’d like to spend more time with you.  

You were about to ask for a continuation of your earlier “retrieve something from the shelf” act after you both washed up, but you saw him run his fingers through the row of your photo albums in your room, a mix of sadness and wonder painted on his face.

“I never had enough photos to fill even one,” he’d said, as he leaned back on you while you hugged him from behind. “I just have a few placed in a small box.” 

They’d been solo photos of him that his grandparents took before they passed away, you learned, and you hugged him tighter as he shared the memory.

You went through some of your albums, as Jungkook requested, and you showed your favorite pictures while you sat comfortably between his legs. 

He noticed the grand birthday parties you had as a child, the distance between you and your parents apparent. If one didn’t know the Lees, they could easily mistake Mrs. Hwang and Mr. Sim as your real family. And well, that wouldn’t be a lie. 

You skipped your 13th birthday, and Jungkook remembers that as the time when your parents didn’t show up. Apparently, they haven’t really done so since then, often prioritizing business trips over their own daughter’s birthday. The rest of the photos had less and less of them and more of the other people you consider your family, including Yoongi and Hoseok. 

Jungkook held you as you silently cried. He laid you in bed and kissed your tear-stained cheeks as he reminded you that he’s here now, one other person who cares about you and won’t ever make you feel alone. You fell asleep like that - his arms wrapped around your quivering body, his caresses comforting you even more. 

“G’morning,” he mumbles in your ear. “We should go get ready.”

“Thirty more minutes, Jeon. Or an hour more, I don’t care. Just want to stay like this for a while,” you whine, pulling his arm to hold you tighter.

“But—“

“I’m the CEO’s daughter. I’m using that card today.” You face him and kiss the tip of his nose.

“I'm surprised you don’t use it more often,” he laughs. 

“I’m not that entitled,” you pout. 

“Hmm, I know.” He softly kisses your lips until you finally smile. 

“An hour more then, Ms. Lee,” he teases. 

**

For the next two days of “freedom” that you and Jungkook have, you try to be professional. While he leaves you to stay at the staff lounge when you work, he does buy you cafeteria lunch on the first day and you both go out to a restaurant on the second. 

His distance from you when you’re in an out-of-office meeting is much shorter than before, and he doesn’t miss the sultry way you sip on the straw or lick your lips when you eat your food to tease him. 

This only prompts him to tease you back by adjusting his tie constantly - which you’d said drives you crazy - and overly flexing his biceps whenever you’re close, and smirking whenever he does.

On your last night together, you stay in your TV room seated on his lap as you give in to his request of watching the first Fast and Furious installment. 

The almost 2-hour movie turns to three, though due to some commercials every once in a while, but it’s not long after when you end up in your bed in tangled limbs, with Jungkook telling you about the most memorable gift he received from his mother - a set of sports cars that she left on the morning she went away. 

**

“So…” Namjoon starts, as he walks you to the hotel lounge where you’re having your third meeting for the day. “I guess all it took was getting stuck in your vacation home with Jungkook, huh? Who would’ve thought,” he chuckles.

You try to act nonchalant. “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about, Namjoon.”

“___, I saw him leave your house this morning with a bag,” he deadpans. “And don’t think I didn’t notice the subtle glances you were giving each other during this morning’s briefing; I felt like I was intruding with how affectionate they were.”

You heave out a sigh, mentally smacking yourself for being so transparent and apparently, not so discreet.

“You’re back barely a day and you already know,” you frown. “I mean, Mrs. Hwang and Mr. Sim figured it out barely 30 minutes after we arrived home.”

“Well, that’s on you if you did something right when you got home.”

Namjoon could only laugh at your embarrassed face. 

“Just be professional, alright? He’s still your family’s employee,” he reminds you.

You answer with a pout. “Can I return you to my father?”

“You’re a brat, you know that?” He shakes his head and chuckles. “Sadly, you sold Jungkook too well and your father doesn’t seem to want to let him go. So you’re gonna have to figure things out.”

“I know,” you huff. “He takes this job very seriously, as you can tell.”

“Of course, ___. For the longest time, this job was the only thing that mattered.”

**

As you should’ve known, dating your father’s bodyguard isn’t as easy as you had hoped. 

Your office floors are different and while you’re getting included in more meetings with the higher-ups, that’s still twice a week too little. 

Jungkook’s required to stay in your family’s residence for 3-4 nights a week, and on the nights when he doesn’t, he takes the chance to do his workout at his friend’s gym and is thus too tired to speak to you when he gets home.

With your father being busy as the last quarter of the year nears - constantly leaving the city and being in countless meetings - and with you being preoccupied with helping the orphanage and your family’s Foundation among other things, there hasn’t been much time to be with Jungkook. 

Aside from Sundays - his day off, where you both visit the orphanage in the morning and do whatever you feel like for the rest of the day, the only other moments you share are the affectionate smiles and glances when you see each at work or at dinner with your parents, and the occasional highly risky meet-ups in the staff lounge. 

It’s been a month of making it work and you’ll take it. You’re appeased during the very few times he drops by your house after his shift or he lets you stay over to immediately sleep when he’s home. And every time you’re together is time well spent - watching the Fast and the Furious movies, eating food and learning how to cook, sharing stories, and fucking in every corner of his apartment or your room. 

Some days though, you want nothing more than to lay in his chest while he tells you that you did well after a little win. You miss him most during times like this. Much as you tease him about his terrible misconceptions about you in the beginning, you know that he believes in you, sometimes more than you believe in yourself.

You check your phone to see it’s almost 1:30PM and Jungkook’s just about to take his break. You’d passed on lunch with some friends to meet him, having sent him a text earlier to meet you in your car in the basement parking lot. 

You peek outside from the backseat and see him bow to Mr. Sim who’s been keeping guard, and right as the door opens, you lunge at Jungkook and pull him in a long, deep kiss, your hands cupping his face as his arms quickly wrap around your waist.

“Hmm, missed you too,” he giggles after you pull away, causing your heart to skip a beat, given that it’s not something he says often. 

You kiss him again, hands on his collar this time, as you both get lost in the moment, knowing you’re not granted much time. 

He slightly pulls the hem of your dress and it’s not long after when you’re straddling him, your pussy meeting his hardening length, prompting you to buck your hips against his.

Soft moans echo in the car, growing louder as his hands trail up your thighs, your bare torso, then your  covered breasts. 

“Fuck. Please,” you whine. “Need you.” 

“Angel, it’s too risky,” he pants, as you make open-mouthed kisses on his neck. “And it’s gonna be messy.” 

“But,” you huff, stopping to lean your forehead on his shoulder and he chuckles, knowing you’re probably pouting. 

This isn’t the first time he’s gone against having sex during work hours and outside of your respective homes. 

Your breaths get faster and deeper and he thinks you’re cutest like this, when you want him but can’t get any more than his kisses. 

But Jungkook has long realized, ever since the start of your relationship, that between the both of you, he has to be the one to set boundaries, like he always has. Much as he wants to give in every single time, especially when you look at him with your puppy dog eyes and fluttering eyelashes, there’s just too much at risk. 

“Hey, angel,” he mutters, lifting your chin to face him. “Are you just horny or is there something more?”

You furrow your brows as you always do when he teases, given the number of times you’ve called him to say you’re horny but he was away and was never one to do phone sex, not like he can even do it with a roommate. 

But you’re reminded of why you’d been excited to see him in the first place, so you sit yourself comfortably on his lap and tell him the news.

“I finally convinced my parents to consider starting the educational sponsorship program in the Foundation,” you softly say. “The kids in the orphanage will be the pilot batch. They said to prepare the pitch for next week’s board meeting.”

Jungkook’s eyes sparkle even in the dark and this smile is truly the best thing you’ve seen in your life, especially because it’s not so easily given. 

“___, that’s great! I always knew you could do it.”

“It’s just a pitch though, nothing set in stone yet,” you clarify. 

“It’s still a foot in the door,” he comforts. “Isn’t that always better than just looking in from outside?”

“It is,” you smile. “I was just so excited and wanted to tell you in person because I don’t know when I’d get to, which is weird because you’re literally just several floors above me and—“

You’re cut off with a kiss that you easily fall into. “I’m glad you did, then,” he says.

You melt into his hug and know this is enough.

“So, what were you hoping for? Celebratory sex?” He laughs.

“Hmm, maybe. Since I did well and all,” you smirk.

“Well, there’s always another way,” he says, giving in.

He flips you on your back before you can say anything. 

“It’ll be quick but keep it down for me, alright angel?” He whispers in your ear, nibbling it and eliciting a moan from you. “You deserve to feel good today.”

It’s not long after when your eyes are rolling back and your arm is covering your mouth to keep yourself from screaming, as Jungkook expertly laps you up, his tongue swirling your nub and moaning into your cunt. 

He lets you kiss your essence from his mouth after you’d come. 

“I’m proud of you,” he whispers, fixing your hair and your clothes right after. “I hope you’re proud of yourself, too.”

**

It’s days later when Jungkook is at home, the knock on the door causing him to groan, too tired for it to register to him that it’s most likely you who’s on the other side. 

He got off his shift at 10 and squeezed in another workout at the gym, with Jin having to physically push him out the door before Jungkook could sneak another round of weights in. 

You’re in a long sleeved mini dress, having come from a night out with some visiting friends from grad school and Jungkook lazily smiles at you.

Seeing his damp hair and bandage-wrapped hands, paired with his droopy eyes and soft pants, you know it’s been a long day for him. You tenderly smile back and peck his lips.

“Just wanted to see you to say goodnight,” you say. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

This isn’t the first time that you’d come over late on a Saturday “just to say goodnight,” but like always, the guilt of turning you away - of turning you down for anything, actually - eats him up inside. He pulls your wrist as you walk away, prompting you to turn to him with a questioning look.

“I’ve got a bit of energy left, it’s okay.”

You smile and enter his apartment and fall into his embrace. You curl into his lap as he talks about his day and you talk about yours.

“So, Dana, the one I told you who has a Greek boyfriend, is inviting us to Mykonos in December. I’ve always wanted to go back and I’m so excited for you to go there!”

Jungkook looks at you, confused. “Isn’t the Spain trip with Yoongi and Hoseok in December, too?”

“Oh, right,” you say. “We can just move that to November or January.”

“That’s… easily a month’s worth of leaves,” he computes.

“That you have and are entitled to, right?” You question. “I mean—“

“And there’s still that trip to Gangwon?” He confirms.

“Uhm, yeah. I was hoping maybe we could still go.”

“Oh,” Jungkook hums, turning away to focus on something else that isn’t your almost disappointed face. “Yeah, sure.”

You feel the tension as the silence envelopes you both, and you can’t quite read his face or analyze the tone of his voice. 

Perhaps you’re overwhelming him. Maybe you’re being pushy or maybe something else is bothering him. You’re about to ask him what’s wrong when he kisses you deeply, sighing into your mouth and swallowing your soft moans until you both detach to catch some air. 

“Let’s watch a movie, yeah?”

You nod, sensing that whatever it is, he doesn’t want to talk about it, so you settle next to him with your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around you.

Barely half an hour through the seventh Fast and the Furious movie, you hear Jungkook snoring, his head rolling back on the couch. You guide him to lie down and place a blanket over his tired body.

You feel a tinge of sadness as you kiss him goodnight. 

You wish he could get proper rest and take time to relax and unwind, knowing that his job takes a toll on his mind and body. 

You wish there was more you could do than just sneaking around and asking for whatever time he can spare you. You wish sometimes he would open up more - not about himself, as he’s learning to - but about his fears, his worries, the things he wants with you and for himself. 

And you wish, as you admire his sleeping form, that he wants more with you the way you do with him, that he’s falling in love with you the way you are with him.

**

Jungkook stands in the hallway, back against the wall and trying desperately to listen in on what’s happening inside the meeting room as you pitch your plans on the Foundation’s educational sponsorship program. 

There’s not much he can hear though, as he’s positioned towards the back of the room, only your muffled voice indicating that you’re still presenting. 

He wants nothing more than to be there and witness you speak with vigor and passion the way you do whenever you discuss this with him, but as he stands outside waiting for the hours to pass, he’s reminded once more of all that he is.

He doesn’t work for your company, he works for the agency. He doesn’t have any role nor place here other than making sure that your father is safe. That’s what Jungkook is - an outsider, someone who’s temporary, who doesn’t belong. 

He’s glad you both have Namjoon on your corner, who’s currently inside, watching and encouraging you. He’d promised Jungkook he’ll share all the details, knowing you’d be too nervous to remember everything. Jungkook is content with this, as it’s the closest he can get to seeing you at your best.

Inside, you tell the stories of the children you’ve met, and though you want to focus on hope and and the value of love and support to the youth through learning, the bulk of your presentation is about what this means for your company’s image, knowing that philanthropy adds to consumers’ support for a certain brand. 

But the thought is there, and you can’t help but feel joy at the sight of the smallest smile that graces your father’s seemingly satisfied face, especially as you answer each of the board member’s questions. 

“It’s a worthy cause, I suppose,” one says.

“Young people are impressionable and could be our target market for this kind of branding. This will be good,” another reasons.

“Well,” your father starts, causing you to hold your breath. “I think everyone is convinced that this will be good for the company. Perhaps we can all agree that my daughter shall oversee the establishment of this program and proceed accordingly.”

Everyone expresses their agreement, the surprised yet elated look on your face evident to everyone present. This is what you want, you tell yourself; it’s something you can contribute, much as you enjoy the business side of things. 

Any other comments that doubt your readiness and ability to focus on this and your role in the marketing department enter one ear then out the other. 

You did well, you tell yourself, imagining Jungkook’s soft smile as you do. 

There’s pride in starting to face your fears or worries about being good enough to manage the company, but more than anything, you know how much good this will do for the children.

You thank the Board then exit the room and briefly glance at Jungkook as you near him in the hallway to go to another meeting. Your pulse quickens as he bows to greet and you feel his gaze linger, a grin painting his face.

“Could you hear what they were saying?” You ask later that night in his apartment after you’d texted you’ll drop by after his shift. 

The unbelieving yet excited tone of your voice causes Jungkook to giggle. 

“No, but Namjoon told me everything. He looked really proud,” Jungkook replies.

He cages you on his kitchen counter right as he turns off the stove for the premium ramen he made, with sausages this time. 

“I wish you got to see me though,” you pout.

“Uh-uh,” he hums, kissing you. “But we probably would’ve been found out if I was there,” he continues, his lips tracing the outline of yours.

“And why is that?” You cock an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t have been able to control myself.”

“Really n— nghhh,” you moan, as Jungkook nips at your neck and unbuttons your blouse, gently cupping your breasts. His mouth reaches them, leaving red and purple marks in its wake.

“I— Uhm, Jeon,” you pant, not quite sure what you want to say, getting lost in the heat of his mouth as it sends shivers through you.

Your mind was just reeling from earlier this afternoon and now it’s all filled with Jungkook and how he feels all over you.

“Hmm?” He peeks at you with his head buried in your now bare chest. “Keep going, angel.”

“No, you keep going,” you groan.

“I intend to. The food can wait.”

You feel his mouth on your exposed cunt not long after, and soon enough, you’re hoisted up the counter and he’s undressing himself, preparing you for him until you feel that familiar sting of his cock inside you.

“Fuck, so good for me, Jeon. So, so good for me.”

He fills you deeply, hitting you in all the right spots as he holds your waist steady to sustain his pace, making you cum quickly, and hard. He kisses you more after he’d released himself in you, laving at your breasts and leaving marks again in the places where he hasn’t.

You whine from over sensitivity and he pulls away.

“What’s with you and kitchen counters?” You weakly tease, still catching your breath.

He pulls you close for a hug and ghosts his fingers over your back. “They’re pretty memorable,” he laughs. “Don’t you think?”

And as you relay what you remember from your presentation, you don’t miss the way he holds you longer than usual and looks at you longingly, proudly, like there’s more he wants to say but can’t bring himself to say it.

**

Your vacation home in Jeju has always been a special place for you, moreso now when it’s the place that brought you and Jungkook together almost three months ago. 

And you could only thank the heavens that of all the weekends that Kim Taehyung - your childhood friend - decides to spend his very early birthday celebration, it’s the one when your father was asked to speak at a conference in Canada, taking Namjoon with him. 

Which is why you’re here, staring at yourself in your bedroom mirror, clad in a ruby strapless gown, and Jungkook’s furrowed brows making you giggle.

“Do you really have to wear that dress? Is this a thing, buying your friends gowns for your birthday? Did he give his other friends gowns, too?”

You turn to face Jungkook and straighten his necktie. 

“Yes, I do have to wear this because it’s Taehyung’s gift to me. And yes, it’s kinda his thing because he’s always been a gift giver and no, I’m the only one he gave a gown to because I’m his date,” you say, hugging Jungkook to soften the blow.

“You look stunning in it but I don’t like it,” he says.

“I know but you have nothing to worry about, okay? I told you that—”

“I know, I know,” he says, having listened to your explanation of your relationship with the man. 

Kim Taehyung was your playmate, the target of the kidnapping when you were both 5 and since then, he’d been on and off the social scene - getting homeschooled, going to boarding school, hiding in the Swiss Alps… Then popping out every few years to throw a grand party then disappearing again. 

He’d always had a soft spot for you. It was never anything romantic - Taehyung has a gentle heart who felt bad that you had to go through what you did just because he was your friend. Over the years, you two developed the kind of friendship where you don’t really talk, but every time he’s in town, he makes sure to spend some time with you. He always shows up with gifts, too, something you enjoy but Jungkook, not so much. 

“He’s perfectly harmless and perfectly kind. And though I may be his date for this party, I’m yours tonight and the next ones after that,” you smirk, having decided to extend your stay here to spend more time with Jungkook, who eventually relaxes his face and kisses your forehead. 

“Fine. But he better not try anything with you,” he groans.

“He won’t, I’ll make sure of that.”

The doorbell rings and you and Jungkook head downstairs and are greeted with the slick-looking man with soft black hair and a perfectly crafted face. 

“____,” he greets, hugging you tightly.

You glare at Jungkook who scoffs at the act, warning him to behave. 

“I knew you would look beautiful in that gown. I had it custom-made and I’m glad it fits perfectly,” Taehyung says.

“Yeah, barely any alterations needed,” you smile. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, ____. Always a pleasure,” he bows, and Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“The look isn’t complete though,” Taehyung continues, motioning for his bodyguard to retrieve a box and present it to you.

You’ve seen shiny and beautiful jewelry in your life but this belongs at the top, with the rare pearls and diamonds joining perfectly to create an exquisite set of necklace and earrings, leaving you speechless.

Taehyung proceeds to put it on you, and you briefly get a look of Jungkook’s unreadable face, unsure if it’s wonder or something else in his eyes.

You stare at yourself in the mirror, fingers grazing over the precious stones, and you revel in the beauty of it around your neck and on your ears. 

You know enough not to reject gifts like this from your friend, so you profusely thank him, earning you a shy smile. 

“Now that you’re all set, shall we?” He asks, his arm out for you to hold. 

You nod and walk out, with Jungkook holding the door, and the now unfamiliar look of seriousness on his face.

**

The party is a lot more fun than you expected. It’s quite intimate, as Taehyung only really keeps a small circle of friends and none of them are common with yours, which is something you appreciate. The food is delicious but what you’re really enjoying are the jazz performers who are entertaining the guests for the night. 

With Taehyung assuring you that you don’t need to stay by his side the whole time, you’re able to go to Jungkook, with him telling you that you’re in an event where people can easily make claims about your relationship, prompting you to frown at his sudden coldness, given how he refuses to look at you when he speaks with you. 

During the times that Taehyung is around you, though, he doesn’t fail to hold you by your waist, whispering in your ear, and looking at you intently while you speak. He has this sultry glare that he has on when you’re around others but when you’re alone, he turns into the gentle boy with the most endearing smile that you can’t help but mirror.

You know how it looks, but you sneak in a smile at Jungkook to remind him not to worry, but he doesn't seem to notice.

You decide to retreat early, knowing that despite the company, you want nothing more than to be with Jungkook and be ravished by him in all ways possible. 

“I need to check on the security system and report to Mr. Han if it needs updating,” Jungkook says when you get home.

“It’s 10 in the evening, Jeon. You can do that tomorrow.”

“But I wanna do it right now,” he says sharply.

“Fine,” you frown. “I’ll be in the pool in case you decide that I’m way more fun than some alarms and CCTVs.”

You stomp to your room, feeling like a brat just to match his stubbornness and clear jealousy, so you don your white swimsuit and head outside.

In the security room, Jungkook sees you in the monitor, heading to the spot by the pool that you know can be captured by the camera. It’s where you remove your robe to show what you’re wearing. You slowly walk down the steps to settle by the ledge, away from where you can be seen.

Jungkook groans, knowing what you’re doing, knowing that he won’t get to resist you anyway so he walks back out, still clad in his suit, and stands on the ledge across from you.

“Hmm, the water’s so good,” you moan to tease him, knowing it’ll get him riled up.

“What are you doing?” He asks.

You turn to him with your fluttering lashes and flirty smile, thinking of how breathtaking he always is when dressed in formal attire with his exposed forehead and the slump of hair falling over his eye. “Enjoying the view.”

He groans. “You’ll be the death of me, you know that?” He says, easily giving in. He loosens his tie before he pulls it off, followed by his suit. 

He swiftly unbuttons his polo, his tongue poking his cheek in mixed frustration and lust, pulling the piece of clothing off to reveal his flexed biceps and tense torso, the ridges of his abs shining in the minimal overhead lights. 

His gaze darkens as you lick your lips while you watch him work on his belt, then his pants, until he’s in nothing but his black boxers and you just know how hard he is right now.

“Angel’s waiting for you,” you tease.

He huffs and steps down to the pool, slowly walking to where you are, savoring the tension between the both of you. He makes it to you and rests his arms on your sides to cage you in.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten how you tried to make me jealous in this exact spot not long ago,” he growls.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten what you did to me after and how you made me scream your name,” you reply sultrily.

He grunts before he pulls you in a kiss, his tongue slipping in your mouth immediately and taking your breath away as he devours you with need. It’s almost feral, how he takes you in, swallows you like this, the sting in your lips telling you the intense desire coursing through his veins. 

The hands that cup your face quickly move south to pull down your swimsuit, groping your breasts while his teeth now lightly bite your lip. His mouth starts its descent and his tongue laves at the skin it meets until it reaches your pert nipples waiting to be nipped and licked and sucked. 

“Uhhhh fuck, you kiss me so good,” you mewl.

He’s an expert at this by now - one hand fondles your breast while his tongue swirls around the bud of the other, leaving you a crying mess as you ask for more. He shifts you underneath to let you feel how hard he is, while his mouth continues its movements that get more intense with your muted screams.

He grinds against you. “Louder, angel.”

You’re barely able to say his name before he’s hoisting you up to sit on the ledge, mouth still on your breasts, consuming them as if he could have them for the rest of his life. He stays there for a while, his other hand exploring the rest of your body, desperate to feel more of you. 

He moves further down and you assist him in removing your swimsuit, giggling at the desperation that’s palpable, turning you on even more. You’re left bare in this open space and you know you have the freedom to scream and no one would hear, as you’d asked the caretaker and chauffeur to take the day off. 

Jungkook buries himself between your thighs, lapping up your juices mixed with the water but your essence is overpowering. He consumes more of you, letting his tongue trace your lips, your nub, and your hole.

You’re propped on your elbows against the smooth tiles of the floor with your legs spread out, and you’re focused on nothing but Jungkook’s tongue, about to give you your first orgasm of the night, knowing it’ll be so, so good. You start to shake, ready for your release, and then… nothing, the hollow feeling of emptiness making you almost cry from frustration.

“Fuck, Jeon,” you shout. “I was so close.”

“I know,” he smirks. “But I want you to cum all over my cock tonight. More than once, too.”

He lifts himself from the pool, his flexed arms causing your pussy to throb even more, and he easily carries you bridal style to the outdoor chaise not far away. 

There’s determination in his eyes when he kneels on the cushion and pulls your legs, angling you upwards. He aligns his aching and leaking dick in your cunt and spreads your slick to tease your clit.

“Fuck, please,” you plead.

His slow entrance is deceiving, as he immediately rams into you, repeatedly thrusting in and out with such intensity. Your muted cries of yes lets him know you’re enjoying this despite the lack of preparation. 

“You don’t like it gentle, do you?” He groans. 

“No, fuuuuck,” you cry out. “I want it harder.”

He heeds your request. With his eyebrows scrunched in focus, his jaw clenched and his arms at their maximum capacity of being flexed, he looks so sexy like this. 

He shifts you again so he can buck into you while his fingers play with your clit, and you’re shameless in how loud you are, begging him to let you cum but he instructs you to hold on longer so he can cum with you.

Your body goes on overdrive as you feel him everywhere - his mouth on your breasts from earlier, his cock hitting all the right spots inside you, and his expert fingers fiddling your clit, like it’s muscle memory at this point. 

He’s relentless, his stamina no longer surprising you, but there’s added intensity than usual this time. His grunts are sharper and every push and drag of his dick inside you is pointed and much more intentional. You hold onto the edges of the bed to keep you grounded as the toe-curling orgasm nears its peak.

It’s a few more thrusts that has you losing it entirely, your pussy clenching so hard that you scream in pain and pleasure, causing Jungkook to release his seed with you.

You’re panting as you blink away the tears, trying to catch your breath and he lowers himself, softly kissing your cheeks and your eyes that are still closed.

“You alright?” He whispers as he pulls out. 

“Yes,” you huff, opening your eyes and wondering why he looks away. 

“So that’s how you’re like when you’re jealous, huh?” You tease. “Duly noted.”

Your wink causes him to frown. “Shut up. I’ll just go hard every time, just tell me.”

“You have nothing to be jealous about, okay?” You say as you caress his cheek. “You’re all I want, no one else.”

“I know. It’s just… Everyone had their eyes on you and—“

“I had my eyes on you. I always do,” you kiss his lips. “But that was so good, Jeon. I’ll need a few days to recover.”

He nods in submission, choosing to let it go, knowing there’s more he feels, something he can’t quite express. 

He cuddles next to you at your request, his hands tracing patterns on your skin while you run your fingers through his hair, enjoying the sound of your bated breaths and the crash of the waves down below. The sky is bright tonight and you take your time to marvel at the surroundings with the most beautiful man next to you.

“Come, let’s get cleaned up,” he says after a while.

He helps you on your feet and wraps you in a towel to head to your room. 

He takes you again in the shower and on the bed. 

Later that night, as you lay on your side facing him, your soft snores the only other sound in the room, Jungkook ghosts his fingers across your tranquil face, as if tracing the features, memorizing them.

He knows he can give you this - the kind of pleasure that leaves you full and satisfied as you nuzzle his arm and sleep in peace; mind blowing orgasms that let you focus on him and nothing, no one else; rare moments of calm that follow amidst the noise in his mind and his heart. 

Because he knows, at the end of the day, it’s really all he can give.

**

The return to Seoul - and two days later, the return of your father - once more marks the return to what is now normal between you and Jungkook. 

You suppose you should be used to it by now - missing him, wanting to hold his hand, wishing he’s your date to events instead of him either watching you from afar or not being there at all, wishing it’s easy to tell everyone that you love him.

That it’s easy to tell him that you do.

Well, that was your plan - it’s why you wanted to take that trip to Gangwon so you both could go for a quick drive to the mountains and be away for a weekend. But as you look at your text messages, you don’t see that happening anytime soon.

[From: Namjoon] Is your trip pushing through? Jungkook hasn’t filed a leave and I need to know. Gotta make arrangements.

You brought it up again when you got back to Seoul from Jeju and all Jungkook said was “sure” but didn’t ask for the details.

[To: Namjoon] Maybe not now.

You sigh and keep your phone, tempted to message Jungkook even if he’ll probably respond late in the night.

“Everything okay?” Ina asks as she sips from her cup during your meet up over afternoon tea.

“Hmm?” You look at her and force a smile.

“Trouble in paradise?” 

“What do you—“

“Oh, come on, ____. Don’t tell me you’ll still deny it,” she chuckles. “It’s pretty obvious what’s going on with you and Jungkook. Even the kids know it. But you seem pretty down. Anything wrong?”

“What? How could they know such a thing?” You squeal, focusing on her first questions.

She shrugs. “Well, they feel love with you. Maybe they see it on you, too.”

Your cheeks warm at the thought.

“Jungkook and I aren’t… there, actually,” you admit. “Well, we haven’t said it. I haven’t. I don’t know about him. If he feels it, I mean,” you stammer.

“I don’t see why he wouldn’t. I mean, he looks at you like he does,” Ina smiles. 

Much as that's nice to imagine, it only causes your uneasiness to shoot up.

“Don’t make me hope like that, Ina.”

She takes your hand in an effort to soothe you. “You know I wouldn’t, but there's just something about the way he looks at you, like he’s in wonder… and it’s often when you’re at the newborn wing and you do that thing where you caress the baby’s cheeks and make them laugh.”

“He had a rough childhood, he told you. It’s probably longing because he didn’t feel that with his parents,” you reason.

“Looks more like longing for a certain kind of future than his past, though. I mean, dreamy eyes, ones that can’t move away from you, a smile that’s just so pure and hopeful. Must mean something, right?”

You let her words settle and smile at the image of Jungkook, something you haven’t seen. But Ina’s right - it means something. In fact, it means everything. 

**

You can’t contain yourself as you enter your parents’ residence later that night, excitement bubbling within you at the thought of encountering Jungkook again. 

It’s odd, given that for months, you spent more time with him than anyone, something you truly looked forward to. But now - by your own doing, you remind yourself - you have to wait for the moment that you’re even presented with the opportunity to be with him.

Like now, at the intimate gathering that your mother organized in their home.

You spot him immediately in his impeccable black suit, his familiar stance and serious face still making your heart jump. You glance at him and see him purse his lips, as if stopping himself from smiling.

Jimin engages you in conversation, filling you in on his not-so-secret girlfriend and you fill him in on your almost-boyfriend since you and Jungkook never really talked about it, always just content being in each other’s arms - talking, laughing, kissing. But you look at him again and like always, he’s all you can see.

Your friend snaps his fingers at you. “You got it so bad,” he laughs. “There are people around and you’re ogling.”

“You know what it's like,” you nudge him. “You want someone so much that you don’t notice anything else.”

He giggles again and he almost chokes as you pat him in the back.

“Shift change. Cover for me,” you say, sneakily making your way through one of the hallways right as one of the bodyguards relieves Jungkook.

You lived in this house for years. You've embedded the ins and outs of this place in your mind because you spent most of your time exploring the grand place. You know the hallway that the house and security staff take to go to their residence, one that you know right now would be empty. 

The carpeted floor cushions your clanking heels as you make your way towards Jungkook, gripping his wrist and meeting his surprised face. 

“___?”

You respond with a smirk and push open the door behind you and pull him in with you, crashing your lips onto his once it’s closed. 

Jungkook takes a breath as quickly as he loses it in your lips and eyes you up and down, the mid-length dress fitting your form very well.

“We—“ he tries, but his sounds get muffled by your kisses. 

“We don’t have much time.” Your look is soft before it turns desirous, grabbing him by his collars and caging him by the sink of the powder room. 

“Mhmm,” he hums. “What—what are you doing?”

He watches as you loosen his tie and unbutton his polo, his chest the perfect canvas for you to mark him how you want, earning you muted pants as you gently palm his dick. 

“Been thinking about you all day,” you moan. 

Your wet muscle trails further south, down his abdomen and his hips, until your eyes face his clothed length. “Want to taste you badly. Can I?”

“Yeah but… we’re in your parents’ house.”

“Gotta be quiet then,” you wink, then you quickly unbuckle his belt and zip down his pants, his aching cock springing on his stomach and you moan at the thought of him filling you up. 

Your knees settle on the carpet and you make quick work of licking him all over and putting him in your mouth, the familiar sting turning you on further. 

“Fuuuuck,” he groans, trying hard not to make any more noise. 

You get off on his held back sounds and swirl your tongue around his shaft, tracing the veins then spending time on his slit. His body tenses, his hands gripping the edges of the counter, and you relax him by grazing your fingers along his lean and delicious thighs, feeling the sensation course through you with every curse and every moan of your name that leaves his mouth.

It’s not long after when you settle for a good pace and bob your head up and down, your hand stroking his shaft near the base until you ease him in deeper, hitting your throat to bottom out. 

You gag but the sound he makes is worth it and you feel like cumming yourself. 

Even with hooded eyes, he looks down at you, your pretty figure looking heavenly with his cock going in and out of your mouth. Right now, nothing else matters but the feel of him inside your warmer walls, clenching for him. 

“I’m not cumming in your mouth, angel,” he growls, lifting you from the floor and pushing you towards the sink to face the mirror, his dark gaze looking back at you. 

He lifts your leg to rest on the counter and unzips your dress from the back to let it pool on your waist, revealing the lace bra covering your breasts.

“Wanted me since you entered, huh?” He sucks on your shoulder as he pulls aside your thong. “Couldn’t stop looking at me. I could see you, angel.”

“Want you alw—“ you gasp at the sudden feel of him inside you, causing you to hold onto the sink as he shifts you so he could push in deeper.

With his one hand on your waist and the other groping your breast, he shoves himself inside you with such vigor, it has you seeing stars. 

“Shit, fuck keep going. Fuck yes,” you mutely cry out, knowing these walls aren’t soundproof.

He looks back at you in the mirror and you stay that way for a while - hooded eyes forcing themselves open, jaws slacked as tempered moans leave your mouths, his angry cock assaulting your pussy, sliding in and out so nicely with how wet you are. And you, asking for more. 

It goes like this until you both climax, with your whole body, especially your sore legs, shaking at the sensation.

He buries his head in the crook of your neck as you both come down from your highs, unbelieving that he really took you in the powder room of your parents’ house where they and their guests are partying outside, the sudden feeling of frustration making his head hurt.

Your pants alternate until he's caught his breath enough to fix your underwear and zip up your dress, choosing not to say anything more. He turns you to face him and reminds you to work on your make-up before you head back.

There’s no fixing of your messy hair, no forehead kiss nor cheeky smile, just an unreadable look on his face before he tells you he has to go. 

You mindlessly nod and watch him leave, an unfamiliar worried feeling bubbling inside you.

**

Jungkook doesn’t make it far before one of the staff calls for him. He’s paralyzed in panic, worried someone might’ve heard you both or suspected something going on, more so when he’s told that Mr. Lee is calling for him outside.

He gathers himself and heads back to the party, spotting your father who is animatedly chatting with someone familiar - the security agency’s Director.

“Mr. Yoon,” Jungkook bows in acknowledgment. “And Mr. Lee, you called for me?”

“Oh yes,” your father smiles. “My good friend here was just asking how his men are doing. I said they’ve been doing really well, especially the one who took a bullet for my daughter.”

Jungkook returns a smile, visibly flustered and elated at the same time, knowing that your father rarely compliments like this.

“Well, I shouldn’t have expected any less. We train our men well,” Mr. Yoon responds. “Jungkook here has always been one of our best - skilled, intelligent, knows his place. I’m glad it’s been working out for your family.”

Knows his place. 

It shouldn’t be a bad thing - it’s something that’s been drilled in his head for years, even before he started working at the agency. The kid who wasn't good enough for his parents, for school, for his girlfriend should clearly know his place; the bodyguard whose only job is to protect his client must know his place, the man who had to learn to survive must know his place, know what he can wish and aim for, what he can claim. 

The conversation fades into the background in Jungkook’s head, as his reality hits him again, especially as you return to the party in your marigold dress, sparkling jewelry, and practiced smile as you entertain some of the country’s richest socialites. 

Jungkook can vaguely make out the exchanges around him but between the shares and islands purchased, the high-level and exclusive events coming up, and you - what you contribute to the company, what you do for others, what you own and desire, who and what you are… You may not always feel like you belong here but you do, and this is your world. 

It isn’t his.

“Well, I’m really glad that ___ chose you, then,” Mr. Yoon says, bringing Jungkook back to the party. 

“I agree. I used to wonder what she saw in you,” your father continues. “But I don’t know who else could’ve protected her better than you. No offense to Namjoon, though, but he agrees,” he laughs. 

Jungkook laughs along, choosing to ignore the heaviness in his heart and the cloud of thoughts plaguing his mind. 

**

You crane your neck to the window to check for perhaps the fiftieth time in the last half hour if Jungkook had returned yet. You left your parents’ house over an hour ago, having stayed a little longer to entertain the Parks. 

Mr. Sim hums from the driver’s seat, meeting your eyes in the rearview mirror from time to time to give you a comforting smile, while Namjoon busies himself with work on his phone. You sigh and sit upright, lolling your head to the side, hoping Jungkook would come home already.

Then there’s a knock on the door.

“Jeon!” You say as you exit the car. “I didn’t know you left the party early.”

“Yeah,” he nods with a half smile, clutching on the bag strapped over his shoulder. “Mr. Han told me it was okay. I wanted to get a workout in.”

You take in his exercise shorts and oversized hoodie. “I dropped by the gym, actually. Jin said you didn’t stay long.”

“Oh,” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. “I wanted to run.”

You nod, trying not to worry yourself about his unusual lack of energy around you, especially after what happened earlier. 

“Why’d you wait? You could’ve just gone home. It’s been a long day for you.” 

“I wanted to see you again,” you smile.

“Well, we’re seeing each other tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but, you know, it was pretty fun earlier,” you giggle. “Just thought maybe we could…”

You see him sigh and you deflate in return. 

“What’s wrong?” You move closer to him to see his face more clearly. 

“We can’t do that again, okay?” He looks at you with a tinge of sadness and disappointment. “It’s too risky.”

“But we didn’t get caught,” you nudge him. 

“Yeah, but what if we did?” His voice raises slightly, catching you off guard. 

“That was in your house where there was a party happening and anyone could’ve seen us. That was so reckless, ____. And I’m so stupid that I let it happen.”

“You make it sound like it was such a terrible thing,” you say softly.

Jungkook’s heart breaks a little at the sight of your sullen face, looking down on the ground to avoid his glare. He wants to comfort you but he can’t bring himself to, given all the noise in his mind.

“Your father was right there. He could’ve found out!” He cries out in frustration, surprising you and himself.

“So what if he finds out?” You respond, your tone getting higher as well. “I’ll tell him the truth then, that you’re my boyfriend and I want to be with you. What can he do? Exile me? Disown me? You and I can make it work; we said we would. We can run away together somewhere if we need to.”

“Then what about me?” His face hardens. “It’s easy for you because you have the money to make it work. I don’t. What if the agency finds out? What if your dad gets angry at me? He trusts me enough already and this is just breaking it.”

“So what, suddenly it’s a mistake that we’re together?” You say, in shock at the implications of his words.

“That’s not what I meant, I just… It’s different for you, okay? I can lose everything.”

“But it’s okay if you lose me?”

The silence that follows causes your heart to slowly crack.

“You’re not getting it, ___,” he huffs. “This job means a lot to me. And there are still rules I have to follow and that—”

“But things are different now, Jungkook,” you argue.

“There are options for you. I know it seemed like this was your only choice then because you had your plans. But you have more freedom now to do whatever you want and not be tied down to a job that’s very demanding and takes up too much of your time, I mean, you don’t have to worry about providing for me and—”

“What do you mean, I don’t have to worry? And what, expect you to take care of everything? To take care of me? And be reminded of what I’m not? Of what I can’t give you?”

“That’s not it. I just meant— I don’t need you to do all that. This isn’t about what you think you don’t have. That doesn’t matter.”

“___, you talk about a weekend getaway to the mountains or a vacation on some island like I can afford it, like I can afford to take weeks off from work and not suffer the consequences,” Jungkook scoffs. 

“I can’t even take you to a fancy restaurant for a date or buy you jewelry that isn’t made from diamonds or whatever expensive gem you’re used to wearing. I get it. You’re rich, I’m not. And that sucks. But you could at least respect me and my job, that I don’t wanna break any more rules than I already am by being with you just so I won’t lose what’s paying me enough to be able to date you.”

You hold his gaze, your sad eyes mirroring his. There’s more you want to say but you don’t know what or how to say them. You let the silence envelope him, knowing that the cool night’s breeze is probably what he prefers over you right now. 

His head drops. “I’m pretty tired. I just wanna sleep. You can join me if you like.”

You know when you’re not wanted. And tonight you aren’t.

“It’s okay, I’ll head home. Go get some rest,” you softly say. 

“Goodnight,” he hums as he starts backing away.

“Goodnight.” You enter the car and head home.

You awake the next morning to a text that you probably should’ve expected.

[From: Jungkook 💞] Can I pass today? Will help Jin with some repairs at the gym

[To: Jungkook 💞] Sure. I’ll just see you around.

[From: Jungkook 💞] Ok

You don’t see or hear from Jungkook for the rest of the week.

**

Jungkook grunts as he releases the bar, the pain in his arms and shoulders now starting to be too much. But he pushes through though, moving to another equipment and lifting his maximum weight as if he hasn’t been doing this all night. 

It’s Saturday, exactly a week since your little argument that Jin is convinced can easily be fixed if you both just talked. 

It’s also the last time Jungkook had seen you, given your father’s busy schedule. You messaged him on Monday and Tuesday but Jungkook didn’t get to reply, until you stopped messaging altogether, perhaps giving him the space he’d silently asked for. 

His mind has been all over the place, and it’s Jin who helped him realize that it has been since the moment you two got together. It wasn’t until you both came down from the immediate high that things had become clearer to Jungkook - his place, his role, not just in your life but in life in general. 

It was a bitter pill to swallow but one he forced himself to. But even then, he’s unable to shake off the resigned look on your face that night and how much he wanted to just hug you but he didn’t feel he could, knowing his heart was breaking because of you, even if it wasn’t even your fault. 

“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself,” Jin says from next to him.

“My grip is fine.”

“Not this,” his friend chuckles, motioning to the weights. “I meant your relationship. You’re too hard on yourself, always have been.”

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be able to claim anything for myself,” Jungkook replies, preparing to go another set. “People like me aren’t handed things in this world. I had to learn to fight for them.”

“Then why aren’t you fighting for her? Why can’t you fight your insecurities and your worries and your past to be with her? Why do those always come first?”

Jungkook sits up on the bench and tries to catch his breath, letting Jin’s words settle, the questions ringing in his head, trying to find some answers. 

His silence signals that he doesn’t have them, so Jin throws him a towel and gestures towards the shower. 

“Call it a night, Kook, then call her. You need to talk things out.”

**

The gym smells like sweat and the musky scent of the place catches you off guard. You were here last week and had only caught Jin closing up but tonight, the lights are all on, despite it being past closing hours, so you know Jungkook is here, or at least, hadn’t been gone too long if he isn’t.

The sound of your heels against the cement floor prompts the gym owner to turn around and greet you with a smile.

“Hey, it’s nice to see you again,” he says.

“Hi, Jin. I hope I’m not being a creep or like, desperate,” you smile shyly.

“Nah, you’re good, ____. My friend just needs a bit of a push. He’s kind of an idiot sometimes.”

“I should’ve been more understanding or tried to see things from his perspective,” you sigh, knowing that at the end of the day, you’d failed to be mindful, focusing only on your wants and needs.

“I’ll just apologize on his behalf,” Jin offers. “He hasn’t been in a relationship for over a decade so… he’s kinda rusty.”

You’re about to respond when you hear the locker doors close and heavy footsteps dragging against the floor. You turn and see Jungkook, clad in shorts and a sweatshirt, damp hair covering his droopy eyes that’s visible from several feet away.

He stops and stares at you dressed in your favorite skirt and blazer ensemble, looking beautiful and completely out of place, and a huff escapes his lips. 

You slowly walk towards him and place your bag on the floor. 

You take in his tired and almost defeated look and all you want is to forget what happened so you could hold him again.

You softly kiss his cheek and let it linger, missing the way his skin feels against your lips. 

His heart throbs even more at the act, the remnants of the past week’s emotions and emptiness causing him to give in. He gingerly places his hand on your back and nudges you closer, prompting you to lay your head on his chest and it’s when his arms wrap around you that you release a sigh, and it feels as if you’ve been holding your breath the entire week without him.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, inhaling the scent you seem to miss everyday.

“I’m sorry, angel,” he kisses your forehead, falling into your touch as if last week hadn’t happened, knowing that right now, this is what he needs. “I missed you so much.”

**

Another week goes by and you should’ve expected that Jungkook would just move on from what had happened without really talking about it. His looks are longing, almost apologetic and his smiles are lingering but you let them comfort you instead of worry you. 

But neither of those are present when you make it to work on Monday morning and enter your father’s office, with Jungkook seated on the chair and your father prompting you to sit on the other.

“Something’s come to my attention and it’s a matter that needs to be discussed,” he says, his tone undecipherable. 

You look at Jungkook from across you, seeking solace and wanting to give encouragement as well. But his anxiety overtakes him and try as you might to hold his gaze, he turns away, unable to look at you. 

##

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[kolour-me-kourt]

Chapter eleven: so now what?

Jayson hadn't claimed to be perfect but to YN he was he had completely took her out of the shadows and into the light. They were proudly and happily in a relationship. So never in her right mind did she think his ex would make an appreance in their life ..... and his ex is Ella? A singer than she had loved since boo'd up but couldn't in her right mind listen to her songs the same way all she could think about is them being written about Jayson. Especially Shot clock it's a basketball reference and it's cute and he alluded to having problems committing in the past but YN changed that he snatched her up quickly.

So why was Ella here ruining it.  Not physically but she was taking up space in YN mind ruining her bond with Jayson. Ruining them and could should possibly take Jayson if she wanted him? One thing about Lamelo was he was honest with her he never lied about their situation and what she means to him......

It seemed like they had been arguing and arguing more. YN hadn't even talked to Lamelo yet he was still very much a factor in her relationship with Jayson. And today when Jayson came to her home his energy was totally off and he just seemed angry. It had been something she had been use to lately. He just liked to get babied but today wasn't YN day either work had gon terribly and she just felt overwhelmed with it all work him herself it was a lot. So when he came home acting that way she completely ignored him which pissed him off more.

"So do you not plan on talking to me today?" Jayson walks into her bedroom where YN was at her vanity doing her hair. "I was giving you space clearly you're angry about something" "so instead of checking on me you ignore me?" "Jayson what's wrong? Do you need me to stroke your ego? Cause I'm not in the mood. Idk what's wrong with you lately but it's really getting old" he sighed "I didn't have a good day" "me either now if you wanna talk about your day we can I'll be happy to listen but don't come at me so aggressively" he sits down on her bench in front of her bed so she turns around to look at him.

"Why not check on me though?" "Why not check on me? Do you think all my days are just good? Cause that's not the case" "I'm sorry.... I'm just so stressed" "I get that I really do but it has to be a better way of cooping I've already said that you could talk to me but you're choosing not" he kisses her lips softly "there is...." She smiled "tell me what's up""can I taste you first?" She shook her head no "after you tell me what's up" he sighed

"you ever tried to do something but your body just wouldn't do it the way you thought?" "Yeah since I was a kid😂 from cartwheels and dance moves to outfits it always looks better in my head" he smiled "well that has never happened to me I see it in my head I do it if I don't get it on the first try I got it by the third or the fifth so today when I kept trying to do this one thing and my body couldn't.... I shut down at practice couldn't even get through to my teammates and that was un professional and impacted the whole team" she begins speaking but quickly stumbles over her words trying her hardest to get something out but she didn't know how to phrase what she was trying to say

"I'm sorry that happened Bae.... But as you get older......your body has been through a lot.... So yeah maybe you didn't get it on the the first or the third or the fifth time maybe it'll take thirty tries now but I bet you'll get it a lot of your gifts are natural talent yes but you always worked your ass off to perfect them .... I don't wanna see that end just because you gotta work a little longer and harder which you've never had a issue doing not from what I seen anyway" he kissed her lips again "tell

Me how your day was" "terrible ... I missed you ..... and well I didn't make partner "

"damn bae I'm sorry and then I came in being a ass why you ain't text me" "I wanted to tell you in person so you can hold me" "mmm so who got it?" He pulls her closer causing her to smile

"This guy...... he's a great worker and everybody claims it was a six to five vote so I almost won" "nobody more deserving than you though your time management is wild" "that means a lot coming from you cause you balance it all career,deuce, me, the rest of your family, community efforts, time for yourself and it's usually with a big ass smile on your face" "so you wanna go out? Maybe that'll cheer you up a little" "okay I think it would" "where you wanna go?" "Anywhere with you" she smiled "okay I know just the spot we shouldn't get bothered" he kisses her lips and then stands up "no come back here" she whined "nahhh get dressed bae you need to eat"

                  *time skip*

They had just sat at the restaurant and he couldn't keep his hands off her. "You look so fuckin good" "for a person who was rushing me out of the house it seem like you wanna leave already" "I'm feeling the long curly hair and the white dress" "thank you baby you sexy too" "how sexy?" "You make me wanna get under the table and show you. 

As the date progressed YN felt this guy staring at her as soon as he walked in.  "Bae that guy is being weird... back there" she said quietly "yeah I noticed he kept looking over here I thought he was a fan" "oh maybe he is...." "Let's just get ready to go......" "okay" when the waiter walked by he asked for the check and quickly got it back paying the bill" he stands up reaching out for her. "Come on baby" YN smiled grabbing her purse

"Get back with Ella what are you doing" the guy says under his breath

Before Jayson could jump to her defense YN was taking up for herself" are you fuckin serious?!?! You are a grown ass man over fifty and you worried about what people in their twenties are doing? Go get a job as a matter of fact stop riding jaysons dick I don't need no help bitch ass nigga" Jayson continued to try and speak up but YN would cut him off the cameras were on her and everybody was laughing

"Ella is a sore spot huh?" "No Random ass men saying rude shit to me for no reason is the sore spot" "bae let's just go" Jayson pulls her slightly "you didn't answer me Jayson" The guy cackled "stop speaking on shit you don't know nothing about and don't ever disrespect my woman again cause it won't be pretty" Jayson says quickly and then pulls YN out of the resturant and into the car. She was so mad she was shaking and trying to holdback her tears

"bae breath" "that really pissed me off" "he's a troll he don't know nothing about us and what we doing imagine being that depressed and old" "why does she keep coming up?" YN said softly "What?" "Ella.... And you keep coming up that guy was my last straw" "bae when I tell you ... you don't have to worry about her I mean it trust and believe me I wanna be with you and only you" "you promise?" "Yeah I promise ... cheat on you for what?" She laughed "if you cheat on me you'll be dumb" "the stupidest man in the world if I cheat on you" "I love you so damn much  I'm sorry for being insecure" "shhh" "I'm serious" "you good now stop that" "promise?" "Promise" he kisses her and they head home