#{ I have a whole list of future projects and I wanna cry } | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rickbarooah · 11 months

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Thinking about the future

Most of the images on my Substack are made by AI. But for this one, I, myself, made the images. I would be glad to know if you like these, or should I go back to using an AI to generate the graphics?

There is also a short story, the young and the old at the end. You know about this if you are following me on Notes. You can skip to that if you don’t wanna read all this.

Start of the article

“I am nothing but I must be everything” — Critique of Hegel’s philosophy of right, Karl Marx

I’ve been working harder than ever on my work, but there is still a decrease in the posting frequency, and that’s because I’ve also been sending articles to many newspapers and ending up with rejection emails. Don’t quit reading, now that you know this.

Now, freelancing is the only visible option, working on getting started (Making sample articles, reading and taking courses on copywriting, figuring out how all this works). At times like this, everything seems elusive.

Also trying out graphics designing, the images in this post are the outcome of that, to open the possibility of earning something that way. I’m not good at it.

I made a serious projects section on Substack to put projects that I’ve spent days working on and cover important issues. Also getting some critiques on my writings on Critique Circle.

All this is happening when the open rate of my emails is hitting an all-time low. This feels like I’m making reverse progress while working hard.

Nothing in the world matters, if we think about the universe as a whole. I don’t know if you are religious, you might think it’s a part of a big plan. I don’t believe in any of that. Truth matters to me more than self-satisfaction. But, I’m not judging you if you differ.

Thinking about absurdism lately. I’m at least not a nihilist anymore. Thinking about the novel, The Stranger by Albert Camus. In the voice of Meursault, nothing matters. It’s resonating in my life.

But that doesn’t mean I’ll give up. In the previous post, the bitter phase of life was based on it. You may read it if you want to know more (It was updated after the email was sent).

A quick recap of the part we need today: The protagonist wants to live in a place of peace, away from the chaos of the urban world. His/her dreams have changed from achieving things to having a life he/she wants.

Important conclusions for this article: (changing perspective from the protagonist to me) I don’t want to make a lot of money. just enough to change the way I live now. I want more freedom, peace, calmness.

Nothing really matters, so we can give importance to things that we think matter to us. I have an article written on this. I’ll publish it soon, by the end of next week. It might make everything feel better.

This is all good and easy to say until you factor in that you are not the only one living in this world. There are many living piles of shit around who are constantly trying to ruin your day. Getting depressed is also a thing. I have feelings that no one understands. No one listens. Maybe because of all the superficial things I do which I don’t mean to.

I act in a way I don’t want to. The problems I have are unheard of by most and can drown me down in the dark thoughts of nihilism, meaninglessness, suicide, self-doubt, self-regret, shame, etc.

There are moments where everyone is wrong but no one acknowledges it. They talk with a bias filter on top of their vocal cords.

I get mad. Sometimes people don’t see the human inside the skin and treat others like a bunch of words moulded into a moving skeleton. I don’t like seeing that happen to others. I cry when it happens to me.

Freaking doesn’t help.

When I started, all my writings could be summarised into eighteen words, “a person freaking out on the internet like a child cause he/she doesn’t have anyone to talk to.” But that has changed. Maybe not enough; you can put this post in the same category if you wish to. I made the serious projects section to list projects that can truly add value to someone’s life. That’s part of the reason why this is not there even though I spend days working on it.

The truth is: no one wants to read you freaking out. They are my problems, nobody else gives a fuck about them.

No matter how many spicks of motivation I get, seeing the dashboard brings me down on my knees in an instant.

Nothing is driving me except an internal rebellion fueled by everything around me. It’s a rebellion against the world order, pre-determined paths of success, and the conventional definition of happiness. Making money doesn’t make you happy, but you need to have some to set free and find yourself out in the world.

Every day, all I end up saying is: I’ll try, what else can I do? Yet, a question always remains at the back of my mind: What’s the use of this all? — This question may not affect the way I’m going to live life, but it has certainly, changed the way I see life forever.

Ending here.

—

Something else

There are times when everyone is wrong in something, but instead of seeing that we make up our minds on who is right based on our biases. Below is a short story where an old man and a young boy are thinking while passing each other in an alley, neither is right but it’s still easy to decide who is right.

An old man walks with creases on his face, expanding and overlapping with each step. The creases expand to an extent that you can make out the shape of his face, this makes him look angry. Angry because none of those young souls can listen to what’s right.

A boy feeling no better than an ant stuck at a pond is walking in the same alley, opposite direction. Thinking of all the things that were off, cursing everyone in his mind, “There’s no use of regret once I’m a walking dead man.” He’s angry too, but there are no creases on his face.

Seeing through his thick eyelids, the man sees a spoiled kid - angry and doesn’t seem to give a fuck about him. He stops abruptly, his movements make the boy stop too. Looked into each other’s eyes for a second and moved on.

#phylosophy #writing #life #future

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cheesus-doodles · 3 years

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Yoo, winky wink and I am here with a question, it’s not an ask per say…

So we know how baji's journey end and all but I wanna know your head canons in the au where he’s survive. Like, in the future where everyone is happy, will he go to university, or works after graduate from high school, What his job will be, his relationship with other toman founder and probably Takemittchi, etc.

You don’t have to write anything too detail. I am just curious how would you imagine it.

mmmm future baji good thoughts only i like this winky wink have some super quick hcs :)

‎

Link to A Friend In Me

Masterlist

‎

Baji's Future HCs: Yandere Platonic Toman AU

in the Yandere Platonic Toman AU, I would say Baji's future would depend very heavily on what you decide to do long term

actually all of the founder's future would take your choice very heavily into consideration, but let's just focus on Baji

University

Baji's dream would be to open a vet clinic or a pet shop and run it with you and Kazutora, but of course where he eventually ends up depends on what he does in university

and university is almost a guarantee - both you and Baji's mum would definitely encourage him to further his education, so that is what he would most likely do

but if you want him to actually study hard and graduate, best if you make sure that you two attend the same university and the same course because he will spend on his time keeping a very close eye on you and whoever interacts with you

if you do attend the same university and course as him, tons and tons of study sessions, project work, and overall time spent together

would love if all the toman founders would choose to go to university together, but that may or may not be possible depending on your intervention and their high school grades

actually you might have to be the one to drag Baji over the graduation line because without you holding him back, he might have already been expelled for dragging one too many potential suitors behind the school's parking lot and beating them into a pulp

needless to say, almost everybody, professors included, give you and him a wide berth in the corridors

Job

in terms of job, would definitely prefer to have you somewhere close, or even better, by his side, so that he can continue to keep an eye on you on behalf of the Toman founders

being your boss had its perks as well - he could kick anyone who was making trouble for you, or at least seemed to be making trouble for you in his eyes

plus, if he does open his whole shop, Kazutora would be able to watch over you as well when he isn't free

two is better than one, and Baji would love to have one of the Toman founders watching his back and yours

if you ended up instead working for one of the other founders, maybe with Draken in his motorcycle workshop, or in Pah-chin's real estate company, Baji would breathe and sleep easier even if he does go through with his plans to open a vet clinic or pet shop

but if you want to try and make it on your own, and apply to various jobs, Baji will make sure that you, or your parents, pass him the list of every company you have applied to, and apply there himself

no way he would allow you to work in a foreign environment with strangers all by yourself

wouldn't hesitate to pull string and call in favors to either get him into the same company as you, or to get your acceptance revoked

you can cry it out on his shoulder for as long as you wanted, he'll be here for you

no problem climbing the corporate ladder quickly - this boy was extremely street smart, and knew how to get things done and people whipped

would use his authority to keep you near him and protected - colleagues beware

Relationship

Baji's relationship with the other Toman founders would be the best out of everyone - he's basically the one holding the gang together besides you

pops in to check up on them from time to time, no matter where they are or what they do for a living

he doesn't judge whatever path they've taken, as long as they still open the door for him when he comes knocking

helps you to deliver messages or even bento boxes if you request, and brings you to meet them whenever you want

make sure to make him a box as well - this poor boy just wants to eat your warm meals and be reminded of better, simpler times

definitely the one to obtain everybody's schedules, and organize get-togethers and dinners with your help

after all these years, none of the Toman founders still can say no to your pouty face or teary-eyed look

hmmm Takemitchi is a tough one actually - because depending on which future Takemitchi we are looking at, Baji may be on different relationship terms with him

will try to maintain a better relationship with him if he is loser-Takemitchi because he wouldn't be scared of losing you to him, plus he is still grateful that time when he intervened and save his life

but if Takemitchi becomes successful, expect a much colder reception, especially when you are around

even if he is already attached, Baji literally doesn't trust any other guy or girl around you

no one but the Toman founders

if you aren't, Baji relaxes a lot more, no issues with inviting Takemitchi in for food and a drink

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lovingonrepeat · 4 years

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Forever is a Long Time // Mark Lee

Part seven of my Kinktober // NCT 2020 Project

DAY 7: Mark + overstimulation → “Say my name over and over again, and when you think you’ve said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who’s making you feel good.”

Word Count: 1.4k || Genre: smut

Warnings: femdom, overstimulation, facesitting, oral (f receiving), praise, crying, multiple orgasms

This work is completely fictional. Feedback is welcome. Hate will be blocked. Thank you!

(credit x)

Mark was addictive.

The way his eyes light up when he talks about things he's passionate about. The way he claps when he's happy and laughing. The way he can be awkward and not totally know what to say at times. The way he moves when he's dancing and rapping and in his element.

You never had a choice when it came to falling in love with Mark. As soon as you met him, you were hooked.

Your love for him only grew stronger once you finally entered into a relationship with him, and you were able to see all sorts of different sides to him that you loved equally as much. The way he looks after just waking up, with his hair messy and glasses on. The way he gets blushy when you kiss him in public. How focused he is when he plays you a new song he wrote on guitar. Each new thing you discover about his was just as mesmerizing as the next, and you never wanted to stop discovering.

The first time you had sex together was magical. You had never thought there was a way to fall in love with him more, but he loved to prove you wrong, and you found yourself enamored with the sight of him in this state even more. The way his jaw goes slack when you touch him. The sounds he lets out when you tease him for too long. The desperate look in his eye when he really wants to earn it. You couldn't be blamed for wanting to give him everything in those moments. It was just what he deserved.

You found yourself discovering a new side of yourself too, one that came out only with him. It was a cruel sort of sweetness. When you and Mark were together, you couldn't help but want to give him everything and nothing at the same time, to want to see how blissed out he got after being teased for hours on end, to be so so sweet to him after he finally earned your touch.

It's a maddening experience for Mark, but he couldn't ever ask for more. He loves the way you switch from being so kind to being so mean at a speed that makes his head spin. All he ever wants to do is please you and touch you and for it to never end.

But his mistake was telling you that.

He's withering under your touch, tongue buried in your folds as you grip his dick in your hand. The game is simple; he gets granted his orgasm once he's successfully gotten you off. It's rules that he's used to following, but that doesn't make it any easier for him to focus on you pleasure when you're touching him like that. You have one hand wrapped around him, stroking him firmly while the other hand ghosts along his stomach. The muscles flutter under your fingertips, and you love the sight as he arches into your movements.

You can't help but moan out at the way Mark is moving against you, sucking your clit into his mouth and flicking his tongue against your most sensitive areas. His moans join yours as you jerk him off, and the added vibrations of his noises just serves to heighten your experience.

It doesn't take long for you to cum at all, not with the way he's groaning against your core and the way he's sucking on your bundle of nerves and the way his dick is twitching in your hand. He helps you ride through it, more concerned about extending your pleasure than even coming up for air.

You move away from his mouth and he gasps softly, allowing his lungs to fill as he looks at you adoringly. His face is shiny with your release, and he looks up at you with glowy, desperate eyes.

"You're so good to me, Mark," you praise, leaning down to place kisses all along his thighs as you continue jerking him off, and with the way he's squirming under you, you know it won't be long at all before he cums, too.

"Thank you," he breathes out, the words coming out fast and breathy. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Of course," you reply. "Nothing makes me happier than making you feel good."

He smiles, but it only stays on his face for a moment before it morphs into a moan as you twist your wrist around him. His eyes flutter shut at the action, and he reaches out until he finds your free hand to hold.

"Oh my God," he groans. "Gonna cum soon, gonna cum soon."

"Yeah?" You ask, and you love the way he nods, eyes squeezed shut as his head jerks up and down hard.

"You're so pretty when you cum," you inform him.

His eyes blink open at that, as if he can hear the mischief and far off quality to your voice as you speak.

"I am?" He questions between deep breaths, and you smile down at him.

"You are. I'm so glad I'm the only person who gets to see you like that. It makes me wanna touch you forever."

He gulps, and you know he's figured you out.

"Forever?" He asks, gasping as you double the speed of your hand against him without warning. When he speaks again, his words and slurred and high pitched, coming out fast and muffled by a whine.

"That's a long time."

"I know."

It's your words, a cruel threat masked by sugary sweetness, that sets him off. He cums with a cry, jerking up into your hand as ribbons of white land all over his stomach and your hand, and your pace slows down as you help ease him through it.

But his fears come true when you don't stop.

He writhes under you, squeezing your hand hard between his fingers as he struggles to catch a breath. His moans are broken, high pitched whimpers as he stares at you with big eyes.

"Oh my God, oh my God," he cries, and he doesn't know if he wants to move into or away from your touch. All he knows is how overwhelming it is.

"My good boy," you say softly. "I wanna make you feel good. Over and over again. Can you take it?"

"Yes," he sobs out, tears falling from his eyes as the feeling reaches new heights. "It's just so much."

"I know, baby," you coo, showering him with praise and encouragements as you use his own cum to help work him up to another orgasm, and you're addicted to the way he shakes and gasps through the pleasure. He's way beyond the point of coherent thought, and all he can do is moan your name as he barrels towards the edge again.

You lean forward, placing a kiss on his lips and then onto his forehead, and you pull your hand away from his so it can come up to caress his cheek. Your voice is soft as you whisper to him.

"I want you to do something for me. Can you do that?"

"Yes."

“Say my name over and over again, and when you think you’ve said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who’s making you feel good.”

He doesn't disappoint, crying your name over and over like a prayer as he threatens to cum again. He didn't know it was possible to feel this much pleasure, to be so all consumed for by the feeling that he can't even think of anything else but your name, but he should've known better.

When he cums again, he does exactly as you ask, screaming your name so loud that he can't help but think that his friends back in Canada must've heard him. And when he falls asleep in your arms once you finish cleaning him up, he's not sure if he's ever slept that hard.

You stay up though, staring at his beautiful, peaceful face as you think about how lucky you got. It couldn't be helped that you would wanna play with him like that. When he looks this gorgeous, you really can't help but think about teasing him forever, sleeping next to him forever, just being with him forever.

And he's right. Forever is a long time, but as you fall asleep, you can't help but think that forever would be incredible with Mark Lee by your side.

Tagging @mingishoe @armysantiny @domreaderrecs @chickenkatxu @lucas-wongs @drippinlovetalk @brooklynalpha @wildernessuntothemselves @loviejaehyun @skzctnightnight @capriccio-con-espressione @euphoricsunflowers @nct-writers @kpopscape as requested! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for future fics!

Read all of my fics HERE!

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jeromesxreader16 · 4 years

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Such A Joker (48)

Part 47 Here!!!

~o0o~

"Alright Ms. Gordon, this is going to be a bit cold.'' The doctor places the gel on my stomach. Barbara holds my hand smiling.

"and there it is." I watch the doctor point at a small dot. "wait. What is that?" Barbara asks squinting at the screen. "Ah, good eye Ms. Keen. Congratulations (y/n), you're carrying twins." I look at Barbara gasping. "Twins." Barbara smirks and covers her mouth. "I guess this is what happens when you get with two brothers!" "Hush Babs! That's not how it works!"

The doctor smiles as we watch the two dots dance alongside each other.

I walk into Jeremiah's office smiling at the photo of the babies. "And right here we can use the commanded wire so it will transfuse- darling - you're back." I look up in a daze seeing Bruce and Jeremiah both in the office working on the project.

"Oh! I'm so sorry to interrupt! I'll come back, boys." Bruce shakes his head. "No, no, Ms. Gordon. Please." Jeremiah walks over with a kiddish grin. "How is it?" I smile at the picture before handing it over to him. "They are just fine." "They?" Jeremiah stares down at the picture showing the two babies. "Twins, Jeremiah." He smiles engulfing me in a hug. "Mother always said twins are better because you have double the love." I laugh rolling my eyes.

"Congratulations, (y/n). On the engagement and the child." Bruce says hugging me. Jeremiah shrugs placing an arm over Bruce's shoulder. "I may have told him earlier."

I knock on my dad's door tapping my foot. "(Y/n)!" He opens it hugging me tightly. "Hi, dad!" I enter sitting on his couch. "I'm just watching the game. You want a beer?" I shake my head, placing my hand on my stomach unconsciously.

"What's that?" "What?" My father picks up my hand with my engagement ring. "Oh! Actually what I came to talk to you about. Jeremiah proposed. Can you believe it?"

My dad scoffs, "Son of a bitch." "Aren't you happy?" "Are you sure you want to do this, (y/n)? Marriage is a big step. Then you'll start a family, and you don't know the first thing about how to raise a child. I just think you should slow down a little." I stare at Jim with disbelief. "Slow down? That shouldn't matter if I'm happy with him, dad."

"I know you like him, and he is a good guy, but are you sure he's the right one? His brother was a-" "He is nothing like Jerome!"

Jim shakes his head, sighing. "I think you should rethink this." I stand up walking to the door. "Is it your plan in life to kill my happiness? You can't control me anymore. I shouldn't have even told you." I open the door exiting the home as my father calls out for me into the Gotham sky.

"Who needs him."

Late into the hours of the AM, I awake by the sound of laughter echoing through the halls. I reach for Jeremiah only to find his spot empty. "Uh oh. Better check on him. Make sure he hasn't gone overboard!" Jerome laughs as he covers up in his brother's spot in the bed.

I follow the echo towards the living room and upon entering I see Jeremiah sitting in front of a camera and applying makeup with a mirror.

"What are you doing?"

Jeremiah turns to me patting his face with my beauty blender. "Do you just take all my things?" "What's yours is mine, darling."

I look down at the table looking at the different things spread out. I pick up strips of false skin and look at Jeremiah. "What are you planning?"

He looks at me and sighs pulling out a colorful notebook. "That is Jerome's." He nods humming. He opened it and pushed towards me showing me a crazy plan to terrorize Gotham.

"I've only taken ideas from him here and there. He's far too insane for anything to work. Look where it got him. He was obsessed with killing me, Bruce, and Jim Gordon."

I huff rolling my eyes at the mention of my father. "Yeah, he had a habit of pissing people off." Jeremiah smirks at me as I speak poorly of Jim. "Read through it. You've played in this game before. I want your advice."

I read the whole plan twice over before looking up at Jeremiah smirking.

"You're going to throw a wake for Jerome at the GCPD?" All while you are what?" He nods putting on the fake scars. "Wait, babe. You're crooked." I move, helping him apply the fake face of Jerome.

"I need those crazed fans of his to handle the chaos while I get some things done for the future. They're my distraction. I need you in the GCPD making sure it plays out." I smirk patting the foundation on his face.

He smirks up at me and shrugs. "Once you start to show I need to keep you safe throughout this process. It's going to be messy, darling." He chuckles looking in the mirror.

"Ecco could be your sidekick after I'm out. She can wear my stuff." Jeremiah smirks, grabbing my wrist. Turning to face me with his icy eyes. "Trust me, love. I've got everything laid out. She's already agreed to stay by our side, love."

Jeremiah sits at the camera composing himself. "Ready, Jer?" He nods, closing his eyes and giggling.

"3... 2... 1... ACTION!"

"Ecco, tie me up will you?" She rushes behind me tightening the back of the black top. "You look amazing." She says smiling at me from over my shoulder. "She does, doesn't she?" Jeremiah smirks from his seat as he gazes at me.

Ecco clears her throat backing away emotionless. "You have everything you need, love?" I stand in front of Jeremiah pulling out the recording, megaphone, and my gun. "Locked and loaded, baby." He grins nodding at me. "Such a good girl." He snakes his arm around my waist and walks me out to my motorcycle.

"Now I want all three of you to be safe." Jeremiah places his hands on my stomach kissing my forehead. "So cheesy." He smirks at me smacking my bottom quickly. "Get on the bike. Mrs. Valeska, and come home quickly. Your husband will need you."

I roll up as the leader of the gang is speaking full-hearted words of my lost lover. "Brothers and sisters, let's raise a glass to our fallen leader. To Jerome!"

"To Jerome!" They chant, then spit on Jerome's grave. I giggle stepping out. "To Jerome. He will be missed. Certainly by me." The gang giggles and looks at me questionably.

The leader walks up to me looking me over. "This affair is invitation only." "Hm. Well, I have to say I'm a bit upset you didn't invite me." I remove my mask and they all gasp. "Ms. Gordon!" "It's her!"

The leader gasps getting on his knees. "I am so sorry! I meant no disrespect." I scoff rolling my eyes. "Stand up. I've got something to say."

"The Queen shall speak!" Followers help me upon a grave acting as a small stage. I lift the megaphone and recorder playing the message. "Why so sad, bozos? Did you think they could get rid of me so easily? Well, okay. So, they did. I'm dead, but let's not dwell on negatives. I have one last party to throw. But first, on the to-do list, dig me up. Dig me up!"

"You heard him!"

"Come on, clowns! Dig him up!"

"Get Jerome!"

I laugh at the idiots giving the direction to invade the GCPD bright and early.

I walk into the GCPD, passing the investigation room, and seeing Lee of all people. I laugh walking to meet my father yelling at Harvey.

"Get out of here." "What?" "I don't need that crap thrown in my face right now. Get out of here!" I walk up laughing. "Wow, mad because your ex got arrested? Tough case."

"(Y/n). What are you doing here?" I shrug sipping my coffee. "I was in the neighborhood. Can't I stop by and see my father? Or are you still mad at me for being happy?" Jim looks down avoiding eye contact. "Can we please not do this here?" "Want some help then?" I walk in the door of the investigation room before Jim can stop me. I turn to Lee smiling, "Hey there, lady. I've heard you've been having some real fun."

She looks me over grinning as she analyzed my frame. "(Y/n), I wasn't expecting you. Your... glowing." I wink at her sitting in one of the chairs.

My father walks in sitting down across from her heatedly. "What the hell, Lee?"

Lee raised her brows, "I don't suppose this is where anyone expected our story to end." "So, it's ending?" "Hard to imagine what's left."

My father sighs, "I wanna help you." "How?" "Give up Nygma." I gasp slamming my hand on the table. "You and Ed? Oh my gosh! So cute! How about this. You could just return the money, right? We can ask the DA for supervised probation." Lee shakes her head. "I'm not betraying my friend."

"They can call you "the Doc," you can rob banks, fight gangsters, but I know you. You're Lee Thompkins. And all this, this is just a... A way of helping people. I understand that. Who doesn't want to be Robin Hood? But you're still breaking the law."

"Jim, you wish you could do what I'm doing. Helping people without the straitjacket of the law? As if the law means anything in Gotham. Look at your daughter free and running around after she committed murder." I glare at her. "I've got my sane papers to prove it, T."

"You want to send me to Blackgate? Go ahead!" Lee challenges loudly. "I don't want to send you to Blackgate! It's the last thing I want to do! Don't you know I wish I could let you walk out that door, turn my head."

I look at my father tilting my head. "Then what's holding you back, Jimbo? Maybe if you'd let her go, you'd let yourself go, too. You could let me go." Jim furrows his brows fighting with himself.

Suddenly the tension is split with knocking on the door. Harvey pops his head in, "Sorry to stick my face in your business, but something just came up."

I walk into the big office stealing the chair at the desk. "What's this all about?" "Your ex-boyfriend twice over has just granted us with a gift. Any clue on what it is?" I shake my head playing along. "How could he have planned this? You don't think he might still be alive, do you?"

Harvey turns to Mr. Fox, "What were the autopsy results, Lucius?"

"Dead when he came in, more dead when he was eviscerated, and his brain was sliced up."

The screen on the TV focuses and Jerome appears on the screen. "Hello, Jimmy! If you're watching this, things must not have gone well for me. Shucks! I know my dear, doll is crying herself to sleep in my brother's arms. I can only pray, I gave as good as I got, and left ample carnage in my wake. But I don't want to fixate on disappointments. Jimmy, I have one last teensy request for you from your ole late son in law. I want you to throw me a wake at the GCPD. Don't worry about the guest list. I've already sent the invitations."

A car horn sounds loudly outside and the rumble of the gang outside rises. "I don't like the sound of that," Harvey says looking around the room.

"Lockdown everything, now! Everybody listen up! Lock it down! Lock it down, now!

The mod bangs against the door risking the chance of invading the GCPD. I look over the panic of the cops biting my lip. "What are we going to do? We need to hit them! Get them away from here." I say frustrated.

"We're not. We're going to let them in." Jim says, making me look at him wide-eyed. "Have you lost your mind, dad?" "(Y/n), you know how Jerome works, dead or alive. He uses distractions." I look at the door that is about to bust wide open to the freaks on the outside. "We're just going to let them come in and party?"

Jim nods gathering us around. "This wake is just intended to distract us, while his followers hit the real target."

"Which is?"

Well, we're never gonna figure that out if we're inside, fighting off these maniacs, are we? Look, they come in the front door, right? You fall back, get a few shots off, make it look good. Meanwhile, the entire precinct sneaks out this old service door as quickly as possible. Once we're outside, we surround the building, cordon it off." I smirk at my father's plan. "You're trapping them inside!"

"Correct. They blow off some steam. We hit 'em with teargas, and knock a few heads."

"There is the issue with figuring out what the real target is. Got a plan for that, dad?"

Jim smirks. "I do."

Jeremiah POV:

"I didn't think you could get the generator program working so quickly," Bruce says admiring the tower. "You ready for a demonstration?"

"Okay, you hit that switch there, and the facility will be disconnected from the power grid." Bruce flips the switch on the wall allowing the tower to take over the power ridge completely.

The generator hums lowly and glows, seconds later the lights in the building return and the tower is stable. "Ambient energy. No cables or wires of any kind. It's clean and stable. Harvested from micro tremors and air density shifts, it's... It's virtually without costs." I hum looking over my work.

"And with the prototypes at Wayne Labs, we can power all of Gotham?"

"You've kept this project a secret, yes?"

"No one outside of Wayne Industries knows it exists."

I mumble walking towards my desk. "It's the ones who are closest to you that you have to keep your eye on. I know better than anyone." I pull out Jerome's diary chuckling to myself. "Arkham Asylum sent me Jerome's personal effects, and amongst them, I found his diary. It's a catalog of his fantasies and goals. Every twisted vision he ever had." I turn a few pages seeing the horrific drawings.

"Maybe you shouldn't spend so much time reading it." I nod, "(Y/n) says that too. He was obsessed with torturing and murdering me, James Gordon, and you, and if he had been just the least bit sane, he would have destroyed us all. And Gotham would be in ruin."

Bruce walks over placing a hand on my shoulder. "Your brother's dead, Jeremiah. It's time for you to come out of this bunker and join the world. You'll be a father soon, and you can't expect your kids to have their father living underground."

I shutter and nodded in agreement. "Yes. Yes, he's dead. I still have trouble believing it."

Bruce picks up his phone suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Alfred. I'm on my way." Bruce faces me again, "Lunch plans... That was a lie."

"You're lying to me, Bruce?"

He sighs, shaking his head. "You're right. I'm sorry. It seems some of Jerome's followers are causing trouble." I shutter in panic. "Oh, my God. I was right."

"No, Jeremiah."

"I was right. He's not dead. Bruce, he's not dead. He's alive, and he's coming after me and (y/n)!"

Bruce grabs my shoulders holding me steady. "Jeremiah, easy, easy. You're not thinking clearly. Come on, this isn't like you."

I sigh looking at my friend letting everything play out. "Bruce... Bruce, I need to tell you something. After Jerome died, he left one last final trap for me and (Y/n)... He sprayed both of us with his insanity gas." Bruce backs away slightly.

"It's a special mixture just for you, brother," he said. I can't stop seeing him. Clawing his way out of his grave, coming for me, and even though I know it's not real, it feels real. And I can't control myself." Bruce nods coming forward again. "What if I could show you he's dead and buried?" "How?" "We go there, to his grave."

I shake my head frantically. "No. No, no, no."

"Jeremiah, listen to me. Your brother took away your greatest strength, your mind, and turned it into a trap. But if you can see the reality, you can be freed from that trap." I stare at him in hope. "You really think that would work?" He nods his head. "I do."

"Then I'll try. You're a good friend, Bruce."

The freaks in the GCPD cause chaos as we try to escape. "There's too many of them." I scramble on my feet down the hallway and into the locker room with my dad.

"We have to go!"

I race to the door only to be knocked down by a cult member. She smirks at me and I wink at her going along with our little act. "Hey, there little thing!"

"Well, look at us. We caught ourselves Captain James Gordon and his little girl! How fantastic!"

"Hi, guys." My dad grins at them.

"Don't try and get chummy with us, Gordon. We're gonna carve you up."

"Yeah, no, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to them." Jim says pointing behind us towards Harvey. "Hey, man, you like to dance?" Harvey tases them.

"Let's you and me talk outside, what do you say?"

They stuff the poor guy in the trunk and tase him every few minutes for an answer.

"Long live Jerome!"

Harvey groans, tasing him once more. "All right. One more time, sunshine. Did Jerome leave any other instructions?"

"I'll never- AH!"

"All right, look, this is how it's going to go. You're going to start talking, or I'm gonna stop caring whether you can talk, you got it?" He groans and nods looking at Harvey with fear.

"I'll talk! It's too late, anyways. They're already dead."

"Who? Who's dead?" I challenge with worry. He giggles and replies in a sing-song voice. "Jeremiah and Bruce Wayne." I shut the trunk frustrated.

"He can't be telling the truth, can he? Dad, if Jer is gone..." "Don't worry about this. I want you to go to your apartment, (Y/n). I'll bring Jeremiah to you. I'll go to the bunker." I nod sighing. "Be careful."

As I walk away from the GCPD I call Ecco. "It's a go. He's heading there now."

Jim POV:

"Bruce? Jeremiah?" I call out into the stone bunker. I walk into Jeremiah's office seeing the large generator creating a static buzz. The monitors on the wall turn on revealing a static picture of Jerome. "Hiya, Jimbo!"

"Jerome..."

"Ah! Don't bother talkin' to me. This is a recorded message, and plus, I'm still dead. Just more posthumous fun. Look, I knew you'd see through all those shenanigans at the station. I've given all my fans a script for them to follow. See, I wanted to bring you here. Oh!" Suddenly a gun is pressed to my head from a masked figure. "Don't mind her. She's just here to make sure there's no talking during the movie. And, trust me, you're gonna wanna pay attention, so the twist makes sense at the end."

Jerome laughs easily. Two hands reach around his neck strangling him allowing me a chance to fight off the masked women. Once battling her to the ground I remove the mask. "Ecco?"

Jerome goes limp on screen only to have him pop up on the other. He pulls his sleeves up smiling, "I tell you, suicide really takes it out of a guy." He pulls out a red cloth and wipes his face with it. "Huh. What's this?" Jerome peels the skin from his face smirking at the screen.

"No."

He holds the cloth over his face concealing his features. "Jerome is dead." He removes the cloth revealing a pale-faced Jeremiah. "Long live me." He speaks with a calm smirk as his icy eyes burn into mine.

"I apologize for the deception, Jim. I needed to ape Jerome in order to persuade his followers to throw that macabre celebration at your police station. They are a pathetic lot, but not without their uses."

Ecco gets up and exits the room locking the door in a split second. I pull against them in an effort to escape.

"Ah, sidebar, that is a self-perpetuating generator. It can store a phenomenal amount of energy. I would hate to be within a mile of it if it were to overload."

"Now do you believe I'm not your brother? Jeremiah, listen to me! Jerome's followers are doing this! Nothing else makes sense. He sent them instructions to torment you." Bruce cries out as I examine my brother's face. I scoff, "How fake. Yes, I can see quite clearly where you cut off poor Bruce's face, and stitched on your own. But I am a man of science. So, let's have some evidence, huh?" I pull out a knife lunging at Bruce.

"Let's go, brother. Let's pull off that grotesque facade." I giggle, swiping the blade at Bruce. He twists my arms and grabs me in a locked hold.

"Jeremiah! Do not let him turn you into him! Do not let Jerome win this battle! Think about your kids! Think about (y/n)!"

I giggle in his grip, "Jerome, beat me? That'll be the day."

The followers come out ripping us apart chanting.

"Long live Jerome! Long live Jerome! Long live Jerome!"

A member holding onto me yells, "Jerome is victorious at last!" I roll my eyes whipping my gun out from my sleeve and shooting him dead. Blood splatters on me as he falls and the yard grows silent. "Jerome victorious? Are you serious?"

I look down gesturing to his dead body. "He's dead. Haven't you been paying attention?"

I sigh pulling out a rag and wiping the olive tone cover off my face allowing my pale skin to come to the light.

I smirk walking over to Jerome and kicking him back in the grave. "I am the one who's victorious."

I turn back to Bruce and the cult smirking. "Look, Bruce, like everything Jerome set his mind to, his insanity gas failed. Other than some mild cosmetic effects, he might as well have sprayed me with water. You all need to see Jerome for the utter dud that he was. So, I donned the mask of madness to show you how feeble that is compared to actual greatness. Behold, the face of true sanity. But looks aren't everything. I have a compendium of Jerome's obsessions and goals. I will outdo every one of them."

(Y/n) stolls out reading Jerome's diary. "Jerome wanted to turn Gotham into a madhouse. But Jeremiah taught me to build something, you must first tear down what is already there. Start fresh." She smirks looking over the pictures.

"Jeremiah, the gas worked. Both of you are insane!" Bruce fights against the hold of the followers. "Think about it. You want to carry out Jerome's crazy plans sanely? What could be madder than that?"

(Y/n) steps up, pinching Bruce's cheek. "Madder? Bruce, you're so misled."

"May I, love?" I take the book from (y/n) turning to a page full of insanity fueled ideas. "Ah, here, for example. Jerome wanted to slather you in honey, and have you eaten alive by corpse beetles... Now, that's mad. Me, if I wanna kill you, I'll just do it. I'll shoot you in the head. Simply and sanely." I finish aiming my gun at Bruce and smirking. "But I don't want to kill you."

All the followers groan with disappointment. "Are you gonna listen, or are you gonna behave like children?"

"See, I don't want to kill you, because I wanna show you how much I've changed things. How much we've changed things. Because I could not have done any of this without your help." Bruce furrows his brows.

"My help?"

(Y/n) smiles leaning against me. "Should we tell him, Jer?" She giggles looking up at me. I kiss her head sweetly.

"I feel very indebted to you, Bruce. See, those generators that we built with your money... they work even better as bombs."

"That sound you're hearing. That is a very bad sound. One which, I'm afraid, makes you something of a guinea pig, Jim."

I look behind me seeing the generator buzzing louder each second. "Killing you will help secure the loyalty of Jerome's minions, but more importantly it will keep you out of (Y/n)'s life. Now, she doesn't know this yet, but it's for the better. And, well... That is that. Goodbye, Jim Gordon."

Suddenly an explosion goes off in the direction of the bunker. Jeremiah smiles watching the gas cloud. "That's one down. Jim Gordon is dead."

"What?" I look up at Jeremiah shocked. "You didn't tell me you were going to do this. T-That's my father, Jer." He sighs pouting his lip towards me. "Love, I understand, but he was never going to let us be together. Now, we can be a real family. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Aww, now, that's actually cute. Son of a bitch finally did it! Be happy he's not controlling your life anymore, doll!" Jerome's voice flashes in my ears.

I gulp looking in the direction of the smoke. "I think I'm more upset about our home."

Jeremiah smirks looking at me. "I've set us up, darling. Don't you worry. Everything important was moved last night."

Bruce fights against the follower's hold. "(y/n), how could you do this? He is your father!"

Jeremiah waves his hand, hushing Bruce. "Sorry, Bruce, but progress requires sacrifice."

"I'm going to stop you." Bruce sneers. I sigh, shaking my head. "I really hope you don't try. I would hate to have to kill you. In fact, I can honestly say, you are my very best friend." I walk over hitting him over the head with my gun, and throwing him in the grave with my brother.

I wrap my arm around (Y/n) walking away from the graveyard. "Well, that was fun." She said giggling. I smirk holding her close. "Yes, it was, love. Long live us."

"Jeremiah! Jeremiah!" The followers chant behind us as we file out. ~

Ecco follows behind us as (Y/n) and I walk down the dark hall towards the generator base in Wayne Enterprises. "Good evening, gentlemen." I speak waltzing towards them.

"Hey there, Mr. Valeska. You and (Y/n) alone or is that Mr. Wayne behind you too?"

"No, Mr. Wayne. She's just a little help."

(Y/n) pulls out a gun shooting both men dead. "Nice shot." Ecco praises her as I open the doors revealing the many bombs. I grin overlooking my projects. "Look at these. The gifts of true friendship. Ecco, let's load them on the trucks. It's time to give Gotham City its new face." I pull (Y/n) to me smiling. "It's time I build a city good enough for my Queen." I place my hands in her stomach getting jitters. "And for my heirs."

#jerome #jerome x reader #jerome valeska #jerome valeska imagine #jerome valeska x reader #jeremiah valeska imagine #jeremiah valeska x reader #jerome valeska smut #Gotham #Cameron Monaghan #cameron monaghan imagine #such a joker

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verobatto · 3 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXX

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Destiel Fight Intensifies

(14x19/14x20)

Hi there! And we finally reach season 14 ending!

Just one more season and we will be finishing this project.

Remember this meta is a summary of my analysis from season 14.

You can find my season 14 metas from these episodes in the following links: X, X, X, X, X, X and X.

The Promise that broke Destiel

Episode 19 was full of drama after Mary's death.

Dean avoiding talking with Sam and Castiel, but crying alone in the woods.

But what I want to point here the cause of Castiel and Dean's quarrel: Jack (the promise to Kelly).

Castiel's mission is his promise to Kelly, so from the beginning, he marks the limit. He won't hurt Jack. He will help him and guide him.

Before continue with this topic, let's talk about visual narrative related to the Destiel break up. Pay attention to how Dean and Castiel are placed in the following frames...

Gifset credit @agusvedder

Another frame that shows Dean and Castiel in different pages is this one:

Yes... At the same time. Avoidance. Negation. No hands here. Not now. One in front, the other looking backwards.

In the other hand, Sam and Castiel are in the same perspective related to Jack and how they need to save him and not to kill him.

Coming back to the fact that Castiel puts Jack before Dean, it's because there was a change of priorities since Jack showed Castiel the future, since Castiel became a dad.

Jack is like the newborn baby coming up to a young couple. Suddenly, the father felt a little left over, and jealous. It's the same situation here.

14x19: Dean and Sam locked Jack on the Mal'ak box. Second big fight between Dean and Castiel for that.

Destiel Fight Intensifies

14x20: Dean and Cas fought twice bc of Jack... And interesting clues about what was going on in Dean's head right now... we have this...

Gifset credit @agusvedder

Then Castiel pushed Dean with his shoulder, in an obvious way to show him how mad he is. He even squeezes his teeth. And then Dean stays there not turning around... That hurts for him... Castiel still being loyal to Jack after what he did. It hurts seeing Castiel pushing him that way and not being with him this time in this battle. Castiel choose Jack and that hurts to Dean.

The camera focused on Sam, showing us his suffering about the situation.

And then we will have Dean depressed, drinking in a dark room, after this fight.

Mirror Universe

There was a lot of visual elements and mirrors in Mirror Universe. One of the most significant that showed us the fact that Castiel puts Jack (the promise) before Dean was the following:

Gifset credit @agusvedder

The man in blue (Castiel mirror) confessing his secret love to that wan in red (Dean) but his name is Jack... And Dean face here is... Yeah... Jack. Ok. You said you love me but now is only Jack for you. And he turn off the TV, one: bc it was a love confession and he isn't ready yet for that. And two, bc it reminds him Castiel's love confession when Jack wasn't there... And now things are different.

... or walk away

Another scene in which this quarrel intensifies is when Dean gives Castiel the chance to choose (and Castiel picks Jack again).

CAS: There has to be another way.

DEAN: Well, there's not. Now, I know you don't like it, and I don't really care. 'Cause you just heard it from God Himself that this (picking up the gun) is the only thing that can kill Jack, so either get on board, or walk away.

(Cas leaves the room)

There's a pause Dean made before saying OR WALK AWAY. He didn't want to say that. He is the first that wants him there. By his side. He is the first that suffers each time Castiel disappear of the bunker. Not... He doesn't want to say those words... But he pushed Cas to make a decision again between him and Jack. And he loses again.

To Conclude:

Episode 14x19 but mostly, 14x20 showed us the Destiel break up that was foreshadowed the whole season.

Castiel's priorities changing are evident at the end of season 14, with a dramatic ending with Jack's death.

This break up will be elaborated more in the last season.

Hope you liked this summary, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 14 here you have the links:

Vol. CIX, CX, CXI, CXII, CXIII, CXIV, CXV, CXVI, CXVII, CXVIII, CXIX.

Buenos Aires July 4th 2021 11:37 AM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural #supernatural meta #season 14 meta #14x19 meta #14x20 meta

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thedevildomdaily · 3 years

Text

Demonic Possessions Ch 6: The Design Diva Strikes Again!

Here's the first of TWO chapters coming to ya on my days off as promised! Thanks for being patient and the well-wishes. I'm recovering pretty well.

Note: Here's the Master List for the full story. I recommend reading my stuff on my actual Blog if you enjoy OM! official music! Thank you so much for the support. Please let me hear from you in the comment section. I wanna talk OM!

Warnings: Swearing, NSFW (I told you I'd get to it soon lol)

Lilly squirmed around in her bed. Her pink and purple curls were sticking out around her pillow that she used to smother her own face. A hand with beautiful galaxy nails, courtesy of Asmodeus, was planted in the middle of it. She moaned and groaned, not wanting to wake up. That was until she felt movement in her bed!

Her hand clutched the pillow and tossed it quickly from her face in a hurry. She immediately looked down at the foot of her bed. There was a large mass beneath her giant, fluffy comforter. There was something in her bed!

Slowly mustering all of her courage, the human eased the comforter up and open. Her eye were squinting, afraid of what she was about to see at her feet. One eye opened, then the other.

“Hello~” there was a very sensual, yet familiar voice. A set of icy blue, glowing orbs stared at Lilly before she registered the female nephilim peering at her from the darkness beneath the covers.

Yes, it was Lena! A nearly naked Lena at that: she wore a lacy black thong that was completely see-through and an oversized tank top. Because she was on all-fours, the giant opening hung low enough to reveal her full chest. She giggled devilishly and licked her lips, staring at Lilly like a predator.

“L-L-Lena!?! What are you doing!?” Lilly gasped. Her beautiful, tanned skin was now bright red as she looked at the nephilim crawling closer, between her legs.

“You, if you’d let me babe…” she smirked and crawled closer, now close enough to anchor her hands on either side of the human’s hips. She tilted her head to the side, letting her long hair fall to the side, gently touching Lilly’s leg. She awaited her answer, knowing very well how tempting she looked in this precarious position.

Lilly gulped, and parted her lips for a moment, staring at Lena in almost a trance. A nod followed, then a motion for Lena to approach her further. The nephilim crept up and over the petite human and kissed her softly.

“Good choice…” Lena purred. Lilly laughed and pulled her into a deeper kiss. Her lips tasted sweet and her skin was like the finest silk in the three realms. The human wanted to explore every inch of her body.

The nephilim wasted no time to straddle her. Lilly gasped as she watched her remove her top, revealing her beautiful large breasts; They nearly made her cry, “You’re so fucking gorgeous Lena…”

Lena giggled, “Look who’s talking...you’re fucking hot. I’ve lived for thousands of years and never seen such perfect caramel skin and those lovely violet eyes. You’re bewitching Lilly.” She pulled the human into a deeper, more sensual kiss. Her hands wandered to the small of her back, slowly lifting her shirt up and off.

Unable to wait any longer, the mortal reversed their positions, pinning Lena on her back. She was dominant by nature, and while she knew she was no match for a powerful being like the nephilim, she wanted to take control. Lena seemed very welcoming to the idea.

Lilly ran her tongue across Lena’s left nipple as she softly groped the other. Hearing the other woman moan was music to her ears. It’s been so long since she’d shared her bed with anyone; a dry spell since the exchange program began.

Just as she began to inch Lena’s thong down, Lilly began to wonder why she was thinking so intently about things other than this drop-dead gorgeous creature beneath her and what was that sound in the distance…

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS MESS?!!!!”

The human woke to those words. A fucking dream!? NOOOOOOOOO! Pouting, she looked over at her temporary roomy, waking up on her couch; fully clothed and oblivious as to what was going on.

A series of profanities filled the entire House of Lamentation. Lena knew who it was and wanted to jump out of the nearest window and run away.

Mammon gave his one knock warning and popped his head in. “Are ya guys alright? Who was that?” Awe, he came to check on them.

“That was just my darling brother discovering my room you guys are lending me...and the sound of a nephilim experiencing a heart attack I’d imagine…”

*~*~*~

Lena quickly put on a robe and followed a series of ‘motherfuckers’, ‘sons-a-bitches’, and ‘dirty rat bastards’ to the attic. Both Lilly and Mammon accompanied her, despite the many warnings she gave them. “Major Diva warning alert...just saying…”

When they arrived upstairs, the trio found a raving mad Azri, Asmo, and Satan. The demons were standing in the doorway, quietly observing the nephilim as he inspected the room. He was listing every single thing that was wrong with the room.

“Good morning, my darling big brother…” Lena grinned evilly at him. This caused a chain-reaction of giggles.

“There’s not a damn good thing about it!” Azri responded with his hands on his hips, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner that they put you in the filth and squalor like those poor ‘Flowers in the Attic children’?! These are abhorrent living conditions Azralena!”

Lena had to fight hard not to laugh or tell him it was cleaned-up compared to what it was like after Belphegor took his stuff out that first night. He’d scream and faint like a goat if she did. “It’s not that bad bro. If anyone can fix it up, it’s you!”

Azri stopped his pacing and approached his little sister. Everyone held still, afraid of his reaction. He put his hands on her petite shoulders and looked down at Lena with a severe expression, “Lena,” he paused, “I may have to actually pray to celestial realm and every angelic fiber of my body for a fucking miracle to fix this abomination…”

“Is it really so horrible?” A deep voice boomed from behind them. Apparently, Lucifer had joined the fray.

“Oooh, Lucifer’s involved now...this is gonna be good…” Asmo whispered to his brothers and Lilly. There were smiles exchanged, but nobody was brave enough to laugh at this in front of the eldest brother.

“As a matter of fact it is Lucifer,” Azriel responded, “My sister deserves better than this. Are we not guests of Lord Diavolo’s? My sister has told me about ‘how cool Leviathan’s room is with the jellyfish and mega aquarium…” he then looked over at Asmodeus, “and his room is ‘absolutely beautiful’ she says. And it has a giant bathroom that looks like Regina George’s...and you give a dust-filled, cobwebbed attic with loose boards and….ARE THOSE EYES!!!!!?”

Azriel pointed to a whole in the wall on the north side. “This is unacceptable! As the eldest brother you must take responsibility to make sure my sister is staying in comfortable living quarters during her stay!”

Lena just tried to hide her face out of embarrassment. Why was he such a diva? She of course appreciated him looking after her like this, but sometimes he was just too much. This was definitely one of those cases.

“And what do you propose I do about it? My brothers each fixed their rooms on their own. This IS the House of Lamentation, not a human world resort.” Lucifer responded dryly. He did have a point there. One that only irritated the eldest nephilim. Lena felt the need to intervene before things got ugly.

“Hey guys, let’s just take a chill pill for a moment…” she said, holding her hands up as if to surrender to this mess.

‘Chill...pill…?” Lucifer looked at the female nephilim with a weary and perplexed expression.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s a metaphor…” Lena chuckled, “Look, I never meant things to get out of hand and Azri...you shouldn’t barge into someone’s home and go off like this...apologize. Now.”

After looking down at his short, little sister, Azriel sighed, “Sorry. Lena is right. I tend to...overreact when it comes to my siblings. I am in charge of the both of them.”

“I...can understand that.” Lucifer was willing to meet him halfway. From one eldest sibling to another.

“And Luci...fer” Lena almost tried a nickname but was not brave enough to go there yet. “Uhm, please allow my brother to remodel this room. I promise he is a professional in interior design as well as fashion. He will make structural repairs that could save future incidents. It’d give him peace of mind, I’ll be cozy, and you get a new roof out of it...for free.”

Lucifer eyed her, then her brother. They were both strangers, but if he was a professional, the demon believed he could be trusted enough for the task. “Very well. The two of you can do what you see fit in this room..and the roof if necessary. You’re not to do anything with any other room without my immediate permission alone. And, of course, you’re responsible for the remodeling costs. My brothers paid for the own rooms to be remodeled into what they are now. Even Mammon.”

All eyes shot to the Avatar of Greed and he felt it immediately, “HEY! What y’all look’n at! Of course I paid for my room to look as amazing as me, The Great Mammon!”

“He says that like we could actually believe him…” Satan muttered and the others agreed with him.

“Bet it was paid for from stolen belonging or money laundering schemes…” Lilly added.

“Most definitely.” Amso agreed.

“STOP TALK’N AS IF I’M NOT HERE!!!” Mammon yelled.

Lucifer cut his conversation with Lena and Azriel short to deal with his siblings. “MAMMOOON! Quit yelling so loudly. Get downstairs and eat breakfast. Now!”

The group, sans Azriel, did head down to eat breakfast. Those missing at the scene were filled in about the construction that was going to be done to Lena’s room by her brothers. Azriel was the design genius, but it was Zak that was the brawn behind the project. He was just more sensible and refused to show up so early in the morning.

~*~*~*~

The rest of the day went by fairly quickly. In just a couple of days, the nephilim had adjusted nicely into their classes. Belmont Academy had a similar curriculum blended with human education as well. It was “hybrid education for hybrid youth” as Lena explained it. She talked Lilly into checking into it once she returned to the human realm after the exchange program.

At lunchtime, the group joined together and talked about the events that started their morning. Asmo and Mammon dramatically told everyone what happened, getting everyone laughing about it. Well everyone but the two nephilim.

“Why the fuck didn’t you stop him from showing up so early?” Lena asked Zak, pointing her fork at him.

“I told him not to. He lied, saying he wouldn’t, and took off when I hopped in the shower. For being the supposed ‘responsible one’, he’s horrible when it comes to using his design skills or cleanliness…”

Lena sighed and nodded, “The. worst.”

“You do have to hand it to him though,” Asmodeus chimed in, “Azri did stand toe-to-toe with Lucifer without batting a silvery eyelash. That’s crazy! And Lena! You got between them quickly to intervene and stopped them from bickering!”

“Well of course. The root cause is ultimately my fault. So I took responsibility for it. Besides, it was pretty stupid to begin with. Arguing over interior designing an attic. Really?” Lena laughed.

“OOOOH I GOT IT!,” An otherwise quiet Leviathan exclaimed, “Your superpower is the ability to calm even the most powerful foes, like Lucifer, down!?!”

Lena paused for a moment, then burst into laughter, her brother joining in. Even Solomon couldn't help but chuckle at the notion. “THAT’S HILARIOUS!!!” She began to choke and punched her chest to stop it. “That’d be great. And it would have probably stopped many of earth’s wars. But nope. That’s definitely not it Levi-kun!”

Her response embarrassed the third eldest demon brother. That was, until she called him Levi-kun; It brought up a whole different reason to be embarrassed.

~*~*~

The rest of the school day passed in the blink of an eye. The RAD students disbursed, with the Purgatory students wishing everyone good luck with the remodelling go on. It was code for ‘good luck not getting into another fight over it’.

On the way home, they decided to grab Hell’s Kitchen burgers to go. Of course Beel wanted to eat a dozen there first, so they divided between those playing arcade games, those ordering the food, and Belphie watching Beel eat and hopefully not go on a rampage.

“Yes! I got it!” Lena screamed. She was at the claw machine with Lilly and Leviathan.

“That’s amazing!” Lilly cheered.

Leviathan gave his signature scream of excitement and proceeded to tell the girls what character it was, and their backstory, and everything in between.

“So what I’m hearing is…this is a valuable part of a set...and that you’re collecting that set aren’t ya?” Lena asked.

“Yeah. I’m missing her and two others.” Levi admitted.

Lena grinned and handed it over to the demon. “Then you’ll get more value out of having this than I will. So you’d better take it then.”

“R-Really?” Levi asked, shocked that she would just give the figurine to him.

“Yes, really!” Lena chuckled, “I just wanted the thrill of winning. You can have the figure. I don’t know what I’m gonna have room for when Azri’s done and that clothing haul is moved in from Lilly’s room.”

“ARIGATO!!!!” Levi cheerfully thanked the nephilim and held up the figurine into the air to admire it.

Lilly lingered back, watching the two nerd-out, sighing inwardly. It was clear that Lena was getting a little attached to Leviathan. He wasn’t catching on, and it made it more adorable...and sickeningly sweet to her. Oh well, she’d have to rely on her dreams still, until she could find a hot demoness that was interested in her and not devouring her soul.

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theworldsoul · 4 years

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Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

#ughhh #parent your fucking kids #religious bullshit #adults dont fuck up the children you are in charge of challenge #religion don't fuck up trans kids challenge #good dick really breaks a motherfucker #vent

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friendandphoe · 4 years

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/sliding back onto tumblr like what up new year new name new pronouns new movie house

anyway hi y’all it’s ya boy Phoenix back at it again with the donexa brainrot pls enjoy @ahbonjour @museumlad @creativeskull95

There are days — plenty of them — when the distant disbelief doesn't quite fade from Alexa's eyes. She stares around their apartment like she doesn't recognize the furniture she'd spent agonizing hours choosing, her photo prints they'd painstakingly hung in straight rows with their award certificates neatly organized into a binder on the bookshelf, the four to seven stained coffee cups that perpetually clutter her work desk. She's withdrawn and snappy and eager to start a fight at any given opportunity, and the only touch she'll accept from him is rough and unyielding. She taunts him the whole way through, goading him to tug her sharper, press harder, use her until he's satisfied without sparing her a second thought. "Because then I know I'm at least good for something," she'd explained the morning after that first rough night, crunching away on a dry handful of Fruit Loops like it didn't break his heart to hear how little she thinks of herself.

But there are days — more and more frequent now, and Donnie's so fucking grateful for it — when she gives him an earbud to pass judgement on her latest editing project; when she wraps her arms around his waist and clings to him while he's cooking dinner; when he can hear her laughing from the couch because she's FaceTiming David and the motherfucker is funny. Sometimes she hangs out in the hallway for an extra twenty minutes, chatting with the neighbors about mindless shit even though she's got groceries that need to be put away. She's been loudly declaring that their next bathroom cannot and will not be so goddamn small, which makes his heart sing in all the best ways possible because it means she's thinking of the future — of their future, together. He'll come back from work to find her in the middle of a pile of their friends because she felt lonely. And there are days when she stays in bed an extra hour and tugs him close to her any time he makes a move like he wants to get out, whispering into his collarbone that she's not okay, can he please just hold her a little while longer. He picks up his ringing cell phone and it'll be Jaimey on the other end, asking how they've been and what's new. Alexa holds his hand the whole time they're grocery shopping these days, even when she's scolding him for sneaking in snacks they both hate just because he knows it'll get a rise out of her. And more often than not now, he's allowed to love her softly, sweetly, reverently, the way he wants to — the way she deserves.

"Lacey says it's never going to fully go away," Alexa had told him in the dairy aisle during a late-night grocery run, staring hard at the Greek yogurt like it held the secrets to finally uprooting her deep-seated assumption that one day, they're all going to get tired of her and leave her behind like everyone else in her life did.

He'd kissed her cheek, let her flinch away from him, because that had been a bad day and he'd known even then it was less about him and more about the poisonous fog in his girlfriend's head. "Yeah, well, neither am I." He'd promised, because even when she'd turned to snap that he doesn't fucking know that, don't say stupid shit, he knew he was in it for the long haul.

"Hey," he says now, almost two full years later, and drops a kiss on her bare shoulder.

She shifts ever so slightly underneath him, exhausted and nearly cross-eyed from everything he's done to her, because tonight was a soft, sad night and he wasn't about to focus on anything besides making sure she knew she was loved and wanted, but she still manages the tiniest of smiles for him. "Hey."

Fuck, he can feel his own smile, stupidly fond, stretching across his cheeks, wide enough to hurt in the best possible way. He is so soft for this girl. "I love you so much."

And her cheeks flush dark again, but she hums in acknowledgement and tugs gently on a loc. "I love you," she says, and starts crying.

"Oh, babe —" he says, grin fading, and he reaches down to cup her face, kiss away the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just — it's hard to believe this is real sometimes, you know?" She traces over the lines she'd scratched into his shoulders, and he says nothing because yeah, fuck, he knows. This long in the game, he knows. "I didn't ever think I would get this."

He kisses the scars twisting across her cheek. "Hey, love, you got it."

And despite everything, despite the slow, sweet night and the progress she'd made even since they first met, Alexa makes a low, frustrated noise in the back of her throat. "Yeah, but — how long."

It's not a question, it never is, but Donnie has a solution. "You wanna List, baby?"

"Fuck. Maybe."

"Okay." He rolls onto his back, pulls her up on top of him so they're pressed chest-to-chest, and trails his fingers down her spine, grounding her as best he can. "Your last project went really well. Your clients loved it. They recommended you to a bunch of their friends and now you're booked all the way through for the next six months. And they sent you a really nice bonus."

She sniffs. "Yeah, they did."

He snakes his hands under her thighs and pulls her up a little higher. She automatically tucks her head under his chin, and he presses a kiss to the top of her head in response. "Lacey said you've been managing your spirals really well. And Jaimey called earlier, wants us to come over for dinner next week."

She hums, tracing circles into his bicep.

Donnie drops his voice to a low rumble. "Toby misses you. She asked me to find out your schedule so she can take you for breakfast soon. David texted you this morning to tell you about some cool gardens he thinks you'll like. Mags is making us mugs with dicks etched on them because they know you think it's funny."

"It is funny," Alexa insists, too exhausted to properly argue, and he huffs out a laugh.

"Yeah, but the point is, you're stuck with us," Donnie says, and blows a raspberry against her hairline to make her laugh. "You've got a whole crew who loves you so fucking much, baby, you're never getting rid of us. Remember how we all fell apart when you flew out to Colorado for that wedding shoot?"

Alexa presses a grin into his collarbone. "I was gone for a week. Less."

"Yeah, and we need you." He scratches at the shaved side of her head with one hand, wrapping the other securely around her waist. "You're funny and smart and a complete enabler as long as you think it won't kill us. You've punched people in the face for messing up Ethan's pronouns. With your bad hand. You're the first person Lark tells anything to. Fox does literally anything you ask him to, I think you're second only to Mags for him. My parents absolutely adore you, they ask about you all the time."

She groans fondly, smacking his shoulder with no real strength behind it, and when she speaks, her voice is much lighter. "Okay, okay, I get it."

But Donnie keeps going, because apparently he's not quite done yet: "I wanna marry you."

Alexa goes completely still on his chest, matching his frozen heartbeat, then peels herself up to stare him right in the eye. "What?"

He closes his eyes, throws his head back in the pillows, and groans deeply. Fuck, okay, it's not like they've never talked about the future before, he's always talked like they're staying together forever and she's been sending him house listings for the past three months, but — "I wasn't supposed to say that. Forget I said anything for the next month."

She smacks him on the shoulder again, and this time it stings a little. "Next month! Donnie!"

"That night market you like opens next month!" He argues, gently shoving at her head. She goes without protest, staring at him the whole time. "Don't look at me right now, oh my god."

"Next month." She repeats, and that might be a shocked smile ghosting her lips. "You want me to wait a whole month?"

"Yeah? I have a plan, I have a whole speech, it's gonna be cute as shit!" Or it would be, if he wasn't weak and incapable of keeping any kind of secret in the wake of Alexa's sad face. "Stop making me talk about it!"

No regerts, says the tattoo on his hip. Maybe some regerts.

"Tell me everything." Alexa breathes, and she's definitely grinning now.

Donnie, meanwhile, is scowling. "Absolutely not. I'm not — I put so much effort into this, I'm not — fuck outta here with your puppy-dog-eye bullshit, you're not getting anything out of me."

"I'll ask David," she threatens, making no effort to move. He doesn't know where her phone is right now, and she doesn't even have her prosthetic on, but he tugs her back down against his chest anyway. "I bet you made a whole group chat to plan it all out."

He raises his eyes to the ceiling. "The fuck I didn't," he says, because it's technically true, but he had absolutely considered it, and he kind of hates that she knows him well enough to guess that. "I cannot believe you're razzing me about this. I'm returning the ring tomorrow morning."

She jolts up and smacks him on the shoulder again. "You have a ring!"

"Oh my god, shut up," he groans, but there's no heat behind it. "What, what's with that face?"

Because Alexa's brow has furrowed over her eyes, and there's a peculiar mix of confusion and concern pressing her lips thin. "I don't — I don't know if I can wear a ring." She says uncertainly, looking at where her left hand is resting on his chest.

"You've got enough of the finger left for rings to go," Donnie points out, because obviously he's thought about this. "And if you can't, or don't want to, you could just wear it on your middle finger, I don't care. But —" because she's opened her mouth to say something. "You like the symbolism of the ring finger, so I did get a chain to go with the ring just in case, 'cause I know you think wedding rings on a necklace is cute. And it would work, so."

She stares at him for a moment, then covers her face, and for the second time tonight his heartbeat stutters, because, fuck, maybe they're out of sync on this one, maybe he's been reading her wrong, maybe it's not time yet or she doesn't want to or never wants to. But she only scrubs at her newly-teary eyes and smiles shy and fragile at him. "You — you really want to." She whispers, and Donnie remembers Truth or Dare on New Year's Eve back in college so fuckin' clearly.

It'd be nice, she'd said, tiny and hollow, resigned to the idea that it was never going to happen. If someone loved me like that.

He breathes deep and forces himself to hold her gaze, trying desperately not to show how nervous he is. "I — fuck, Aleja, I wanna marry you so fucking bad. You're — you're my best friend, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, you make me so stupid in all the best possible ways, I'm —" and he's dipping dangerously close to just reciting his whole damn speech to her right now, but Alexa's shining in the dark, lips curling ever-so-slightly as she looks at him, and fuck him, he's so soft for this girl. He stops, makes sure he's not about to burst into tears, then says: "I'm so fucking in love with you. Of course I want to marry you. If — if you want to."

She collapses back into the crook of his neck, and he pretends not to notice the way she's trembling. "I do," she says, so softly that he would have missed it if her mouth hadn't been right up against his shoulder.

Something in his chest bursts. "Yeah?" He asks, breathless, and he can feel her smiling.

"Yeah." And she twines their left hands together, five against three. "As if I'd say no."

He chokes out a relieved chuckle, squeezing her hand. "You could do better." He admits, dipping his tone just enough that it could be a joke, if they both want it to be one.

But Alexa doesn't rise to the bait, and he loves her. "No I couldn't. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, too."

And yeah, objectively he knows he's been good for her, but hearing it out loud never fails to make him all mushy. "I'm gonna marry the shit outta you, I can't wait," he murmurs into her hair.

"I mean, we can just make it official now," Alexa says innocently, and Donnie's fond smile immediately drops back to a scowl.

"But my plans," he whines, drawing it out just to make her laugh, and she does, which is great, but it doesn't deter her from pushing herself back up to look him in the eye again.

"I can't wait for the plan," she says sincerely, cupping his face in her palm. "I'm not saying get rid of the plan. I'm saying, technically, you already asked and I already said yes." And because she can tell by the look on his face that he's not fully convinced yet, she adds: "I've got three big project deadlines coming up in the next couple weeks anyway, I'm going to immediately forget everything you tell me."

He snorts. "No you won't."

"No I won't." She agrees, giggling. "But consider that the love of my life just told me he wants to marry me, then told me he wants me to wait a whole month, and I am very impatient."

Donnie pokes her on the tip of her nose. "You're so lucky you're cute. Get off me for a second, I'm gonna Beyoncé you real quick."

She snorts. "Bitched about your plan for so long and then you crumble anyway," she mutters, but she obligingly rolls off him and lets him scramble to the closet and fish the little velvet box out of the left half of Alexa's newest pair of sneakers.

"You're not keeping it," he warns, making his way back over to their bed. "This is, like. Mini proposal. Trial run. Beta testing."

She wrinkles her nose at him. "Put your dick away, then."

He just wiggles at her and flops hard back into bed, only avoiding crashing into her because she laughs, cries, "Donnie!" and throws herself back. It's hard to say who reaches for the other first, but she's got him in a headlock in the blink of an eye and he's pinching her hips and thighs because she banned him from retaliation licking her seven months ago. "Ow, ow, knock it off," she grumbles, but she's still giggling when she shoves him into the pillows. "You're so stupid, I can't believe I have to marry you."

"Haven't properly asked yet," he says cheerily. "You can say no."

"No, fuck off, I'm gonna." Is the immediate answer, and he pulls her down into the pillows next to him, blowing one last raspberry right on her cheek for good measure. "Ugh, nevermind, get out of my house."

"My twelve-step plan to seduce Fox into running away with me," he jokes, and opens the box.

"Oh," Alexa breathes, eyes wide in the dark, and Donnie's never felt more accomplished in his life. "Oh, Don—"

"Good choice?" He asks, just to preen a little bit, and she makes a noise that's just as much a laugh as it is a sob.

"Yes, oh my god, can I—" and she takes the box, bringing it up closer to her face to examine the teardrop-cut opal, the two crystals on either side, the matching band that nestles under the wide end of the gem, fanning out with more crystals in a pleasing semi-circle. "Oh, it's so thin!"

He'd purposely kept the bands plain and small, just to be extra sure the ring would actually fit on the little nub of Alexa's finger, and hearing her pleased coo does something good to the anxious knot in his chest. "Do you want to try it on?"

She looks up at him through watery lashes, a smirk teasing across her lips. "Sure that won't mess with your plan?"

He sticks his tongue out at her, just to make her giggle. "Trial run. Beta test. File name final-project-one. I can go get it fixed for the actual thing if it doesn't fit you."

Reader, it fits perfectly.

"Fuck yes, I am the king of the universe!" Donnie crows triumphantly, lifting one pointed leg towards the ceiling in victory. "Can't say shit to me for the rest of the week, babe."

"Wasn't planning on it," Alexa laughs, admiring the glittering gems on her finger. "Oh, I really love it." She says, suddenly choked, and Donnie rolls over to gather her up in his arms. "We're gonna get married."

He kisses the side of her head. "Yeah," he murmurs, trying (and failing) to stomp down his own tears. "Yeah, we are."

Alexa tucks herself into his chest and says: "Good luck trying to get the ring back, fucker."

"What — no, wait, my plan—" and they dissolve, wrestling and giggling like giddy little kids.

(The next month looks like this:

Donnie will manage to steal the ring back when Alexa's washing her hair a few days later. He will hide it on the top shelf of their kitchen pantry, where Alexa's five-foot-two ass will not be able to see it, let alone reach it. Alexa will grumble for thirteen hours before succumbing to the stress of her aforementioned projects. Life will continue as normal for another thirty-seven days; Donnie will go to work, to rehearsals and costume fittings and performances, and come home to Alexa hunched over her desk with her ninth coffee cup in her hands. He will drag her away from the screen whenever he will think she needs a break. They will go on walks in the park, on coffee shop dates, back to bed to both sleep together and just sleep. Their friends will flit in and out of their apartment like normal; Mags and Toby will stop by for brunch and dick mugs, David will stay the night whenever Donnie and Ethan are going to get stuck at the theater, Lark will call with reminders to eat and drink and offers to drop off leftover food. Donnie will take Alexa to her favorite night market four separate times once it opens up, and he's going to laugh and tease any time she will stare at him suspiciously. They'll take a day off to drive out to Jaimey and Juno's house for dinner, and Jaimey and Alexa will be laughing and teasing each other like normal siblings, and Juno and Donnie will exchange fond, relieved glances over their wine glasses. They're going to make plans to have dinner again next month.

Donnie's last show will close the day before Alexa will submit her final project; he will invite the whole crew over to their apartment for movies, food, and games in celebration. At nine-fourteen, Alexa will excitedly yell that it's snowing, can they please go outside so she can take some pictures, and everyone will tease her for immediately jumping into a new project but no one will say no. Donnie will slip the ring into his pocket just before they all head out and will follow his family through the streets as they will follow Alexa's meandering, aesthetically-driven path. He will stop and pose every time Alexa tells him to, and will goof off with Mags and David whenever the lens isn't pointed at any of them. He will try and sometimes succeed in making Lark laugh when she's trying to be a good model and will sign shit with Toby whenever Fox's back is turned. He will gently steer the group towards the night market, and luckily for him Alexa will light up the minute she will realize how close they are, and she's going to drag them all the rest of the way there.

The night market this year is really going to be an artisan's paradise; all the vendors will pull out their biggest and best, and the group will ooh and aah over all the hand-worked leather bags, the delicate wire jewelry, the carefully curated antiques, the second hand books and clothes. Ethan will pick up a couple of scented candles and Fox will buy them all hot cocoa and cookies from one of the bakery stalls, then will grumble that it's just a bribe to get them all to stop being so loud and obnoxious in public, Jesus fucking Christ. This, of course, will not work, and will only fuel their obnoxiousness further. No one will notice because the night market has always been like this, and there will be plenty of kids and teenagers and adults alike running around fulfilling their own personal agendas of chaos. Alexa will take an excellent video of Fox getting pulled into the tangled mess of Lark, David, and Mags, each with cookie crumbs on their faces, loudly whining that he doesn't love them anymore and what'll they do about the kids and the mortgage.

At ten-forty-six, Alexa will be forced to hand her camera off to Ethan, who will insist she needs to be in the photos too, and it will spur a whole new onslaught of goofing off. The snow is going to come down a little heavier, promising a proper snowstorm once it really gets going, but they're going to stay out at late as possible before it starts getting bad because they'll be right in the crossroads of all of Alexa's favorite times and weathers, and after the month she will have had, they won't be able to say no to her.

At eleven-o-three, Alexa will start wincing at every other step. Donnie will lift her up around her waist to pull her away from the group; she'll laugh and cackle and shriek at him, but will go happily enough when he's going to lead her towards the gazebo. It'll be beautifully decked out in hanging lights and evergreen garlands, and it'll provide a welcome break from both the snow and the walking. They'll sit on one of the benches inside and watch their friends goofing off outside; Alexa will brush snow from the top of Donnie's hair, and he'll tease her about some small comment she will have made a few minutes before. They'll shove at each other in a mock-fight for a minute or two before dissolving into shrieking, sobbing laughter, and Alexa will grin wide and bright at him and murmur that she loves him so much.

At eleven-eleven, Donnie will slide off the bench and onto one knee. He'll tell her that he loves her, that he feels so lucky to get to know her and love her, that he wants to make her smile like this for the rest of their lives. Alexa will be stunned for about two seconds because she really will have forgotten about his plan, and they'll both laugh and cry (only a little, this time) and he'll slip the opal ring back where it belongs on her finger. They'll kiss, soft and sweet, and their friends will surround the gazebo almost immediately, summoned by the PDA. The hooting and catcalling will startle them out of their reverie, and they'll laugh their way out of the gazebo and back out into the strengthening snowfall. They'll all decide it's probably a good idea to head back, especially considering the market will have been closing up for the past ten minutes, and they'll take the more direct route back to Donnie and Alexa's apartment in an unspoken agreement of a sleepover. Fox will swing Alexa up on his back when she'll stumble over a snowbank, and Donnie will teasingly beg Ethan to carry him, too.

David will be the first one to notice the ring, back at the apartment when he and Alexa will be gathering up blankets and pillows to pad out their fort in the living room, and he'll yell out "when the hell" loud enough that the rest of the group will come running. The rest of the night will be a blur of yelled congratulations and a few tears shed here and there, and exhaustion will overtake them one by one, starting with Ethan around twelve-twenty.

Donnie will fall asleep sometime past one-thirty. His head will be cushioned in Alexa's lap, his legs flung out over David's, and Fox's rumbling snores will echo somewhere to his left. The last thing he'll see before fully falling asleep will be the sparkling glint of the ring on Alexa's finger as she signs to Toby, and the last thing he'll hear is Alexa murmuring into Jaimey's voicemail that she's "getting married, Jay."

And he’ll be so, so fuckin’ soft for his girl.)

#i forgot how terrible tumblr was about copy paste fuck #anyway if ive got a potty mouth so does everyone else i dont make the rules #hi i missed movie house and my movie house crew so fuckin much how have yall been doing #im not dead ive just been having gender crises and making friends and storylines on tiktok and also being depressed #anyway 2020 was a fuckin shitshow and sometimes you need to write your favorite ocs getting engaged to cure your sadness #ive had movie house brainrot so fuckin bad lately ive been writing s o m u c h #ive had Many Thoughts And Ideas And Revamps #as hinted at above #so i. might start posting here again. movie house only zone #anyway big smorch for yall it is now 1 am and im going tf to bED #movie house #alejandra ochoa #alexa darmond #donnie frasier #ahbonjour #museumlad #creativeskull #writing #shut up phoenix #((except not actually shut up i will infodump and you will enjoy it >:[ ))

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houkagokappa · 4 years

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I’ve had a really shitty day.

I’m sorry to vent on tumblr again, but part of it is that I realised how I don’t have anyone to comfortably turn to.

First my plans for the day got cancelled, which sucked because I was really looking forward to them and they were an escape for me, but you know, it happens. I figured I could try to be productive instead, but nope, as soon as I began typing out an email I got a panic attack. It’s something I’ve only dealt with once before and I do not know how to deal with them or make them stop. Last time I got one at 2am and had to call my mom to calm me down. She thought something was wrong with my sister, so that’s kind of a sour memory of mine for multiple reasons, even though she did manage to comfort me.

This time around it was the middle of the day. I couldn’t call my mom because she was working, I didn’t wanna bother my dad either, since he was also at work and this would be a lot for him to deal with. Same with most of my friends, not that I’d think to call any of them regardless. I was crying hysterically and hyperventilating, unable to do much anything and that’s not something you can suddenly throw at someone. I’m also at an awkward spot with any psychologist and doctors, I don’t currently have the right to be in contact with those who helped me this spring and I don’t have a doctor-patient bond with anyone else yet. There’s probably some number I could’ve called for help, but in the moment nothing came to my mind. It didn’t feel like an emergency and for everything else the health center puts you on a waiting list?? (I’m honestly ashamed how bad I am at adulting and taking care of myself...).

Eventually I managed to google instructions and try to do some breathing exercises. It took me a while to calm down, but eventually I managed to focus on my breathing and stop hyperventilating.

After this I was scared to do anything. I was too much of a mess to go outside, I didn’t dare start any of my fun projects, because I was scared of having to think about anything too much and through associations get back to stressful thoughts. I listened to some emotional music and that kinda helped. I managed to send that goddamn email, but since the recipient hasn’t replied to my two previous emails I was prepared for him to not reply to this either. The plan was to call him instead, but I figured I could give emailing one last try and then call him a few hours later. No chances of that happening anymore...

I cried some more. Decided to check my email if by some miracle I would’ve gotten a reply - which I had, and which resulted in some more tears. I got my shit done, but at this point I wasn’t even happy about it. I was just feeling awful about how terribly alone I am and how I don’t believe I’ll get through this, making my whole application pointless and something that’ll only cause me more stress and tears in the future. (At the same time it’s the only thing I have going on, so it’s not something I feel like abandoning either).

After another hour of more crying I was able to sober up enough to call my dad. I had multiple things to discuss with him. I began by telling him about how I managed to send in that goddamn application, but he didn’t really get it and then I switched over to talk about all the issues I’m still having so I didn’t get any praise or approval from him, I only made myself feel worse. Then he told me he was about to head home, which made me feel guilty for bothering him. He was also not interested in talking to me later, since he wanted to “enjoy the last days of summer by going for a swim”, which he absolutely should, and it’s not like I told him about how I’m really feeling to which he could’ve reacted more accordingly.

I feel really hurt by my parents. They don’t seem to understand what I’m going through, even though I feel like they should because my sister went through something similar when she was a minor, making them responsible and involved in getting her help. Not that I know anything about that, since they never discussed it with me... It’s also on me not to have them more involved in what’s going through my mind, but with that too I feel like they don’t really listen or understand where I’m coming from the few times I’ve tried to talk to them about it.

I guess I do have depression and/or anxiety and I guess it’s something you have to have experienced yourself to understand it. I know I didn’t understand my sister’s situation when she was at her worst. Last week I told some of my friends how I don’t see a future for myself and how I really struggle with some basic tasks, and while they’re loving and supportive, they’re super unhelpful, asking me about what I want from my future or suggesting I pick up a new hobby and telling me how they also hate writing emails...

Now I have a headache from crying 4-5 hours straight, I’m super dehydrated and hungry, but I also feel nauseous so it’s tough getting anything to eat or drink. I know a walk could help, but I tried that an hour ago and began crying again while I was out so now I’m scared of trying that again. I tried listening to something that previously made me laugh so much it hurt, but I couldn’t due to my headache. I’ve considered contacting friends, but I don’t feel like I’m up for it right now. I have no idea what to do. I’m super tired so maybe I should try to rest for a bit.

Writing all this has helped calm me down.

If you read all this, thank you for caring enough to do so. My mind feels a bit better now that I got to process all this, but my body is still feeling awful. I know I’ll have a shitty rest of the day and a shitty night, which will result in me feeling awful tomorrow too, but I’ll try to come up with something fun.

I was just about to press post when my dad called me back and now I got to go through my other business with him so that’s good.

#my nonsense #negative

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well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now · 4 years

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Aurora, Rapunzel, Peter Pan

Akdhsis I genuinely had no idea what the hell you were talking about??? I had to go refresh my blog and I have no recollection what so ever abt reblogging that set of asks specially considering i try to only reblog fandom related things😂😂😂

Aurora: story of your first kiss

Ugh I was like 15? There was this guy who I'd been dating & we broke up but like not really? As in we were officially broken up but we still acted the same way as we did when we were dating... Anyway we were having a seminar in a different branch of our school, and they had a party/dinner afterwards. We were talking and he said something like "Do I get a hug goodbye?" And I said "yeah, sure" "how about a goodnight kiss?" "Yeah" "wait seriously?" "Yeah man" so we ended up kissing in the kindergarten section, separated from our principle & teachers ,having dinner, by an extremely thin wall...

Ik the ask was basically about the first kiss but lemme tell you about my first kiss with a girl 'cause...well...listen...lil 16yr old me is happily dating my (male) best friend (we had a real enemies to friends to strangers to best friends to lovers storyline that started when we were 11 & ended by circling back to enemies at 19...it was great) and rn as far as im concerned im a straight cis girl (HA.) So I'm at the party of my super religious friend with all her super religious intensely scary family and a handful of my friends (including my (female) best friend & her ex) - & look obviously I have nothing against anyone being really religious but when I say 'super religious' in this context I mean the "hate the sin love the sinner, I love you but if you're gay you're going to hell" kind (& yes this is something I'll get to find out first hand a couple years in the future...it was great). So me & my (female) best friend have at this point being talking about what it would be like to kiss a girl and we decide this! This party is definitely the time for that (we were idiots). We were both dating guys at the time and after okaying it with them we head out to find a secluded place,,, but obviously the whole place was packed and the only empty spot we could find was the birthday girl's bedroom. So we sneak in and that's when we realise something that we technically already knew. The walls of her bedroom were covered in pictures of Jesus. And look I couldn't scratch my ass in front of my batman plushie okay? Hell I still can't change if my cats are staring at me...so the idea that a prominent religious figure was gonna watch me kiss a GIRL was terrifying (pls note that where I live being lgbtq+ is nowhere near normalised & is still technically illegal & unlike my brother I wasn't raised watching shows/cartoons that normalised it either so as far as 16yr old me was concerned what I was doing was very taboo and I was definitely going to hell for sinning in front of Jesus - and no it did not matter that I wasn't christian) BUT we were determined to see this through. Which is when we encountered our other two problems; 1. Her room was halfway below ground level and had these huge windows that peaked out above ground and all someone outside had to do was look down at their feet to see us. 2. Her room didn't lock. BUT we were determined god damnit! So this is what we did; I pressed my back against the door to keep it shut and she stood in front of me so that (being taller) hopefully anyone who looked down through the window would only see her. We closed our eyes and asked Jesus if he could turn away for just a quick sec, pls sir this won't take long at all. So after we kissed (twice) it sort of went like this:

Her: huh, that wasn't anything special, I mean it wasn't bad but it wasn't like kissing a boy?

Me: fuckkfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckf-

Rapunzel: 5 things from your bucket list

Okay so I'm stupid af and my bucket list was on my old phone (the one i had when I was around 14) and I never bothered to make a backup and that phone obviously doesn't work now & I never really bothered to make one after that so... I'm just gonna list things I wanna do as they randomly pop in to my head;

I wanna learn to rollerskate!

start a rescue for stray cats (we have a prominent one for dogs here but nothing as big for cats) or even just get into rescuing and fostering animals

finish every project I took on but never got around to doing

work up the courage to get a binder

Become a millionaire so I can do things like travelling the world or eating food from around it

Learn to do a hand stand or the splits?

Peter Pan- something from your childhood you still love

Okay so there's this life sized medical skeleton? I used to be dead scared to go into the storage room where he was kept when I was a child except one day when I went in there to cry because people hardly went into it and ended up fixing him up while tearfully ranting about whatever problems I had (who knows I was like 10) I ended up naming him and he sorta became my security blanket? Like I'd go into this room and rant at this plastic skeleton whenever I was scared or angry or sad. (I also used him to traumatize my brother but that's another story). He's still there but at 22 I dont really go and talk to him anymore & I'm also almost his height so he doesn't seem as wise and all powerful as he used to...and I miss those weird yet simple interactions

Thanks for the ask! I literally was not expecting it😂

#asks #answers #personal #ask meme #ask game

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rex101111 · 4 years

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2, 3, 7, 11, 15, and 19 for meta fanfiction asks!

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

Once I have more time on my hands, I really wanna get back to writing the second chapter of “She is the moonlight”, like there’s so many fun scenes in my head I wanna write down (as you should know becc;D) and I really wanna get back to it.

Also I had a few Eri ideas and it has been ages since I wrote for my daughter, which is a travesty, and I need to get back on that XD

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

gaaaah which one??? Like, there’s one where Bakugou grows a moral center and gets on his hands and knees for deku to forgive him for telling him to kill himself (but that would take an entire fic’s worth of set up to properly build up and fuuu-).

Or I would really like to write this like short inbetween scene with Inko. Just after they get the news from UA that the students will move to the dorms but the night before All Might comes to visit to convince Inko it’s a good idea, but I wanna write a bunch about Inko’s life before that, maybe expand on her own personal experience with heroes? Maybe give her some prior reason to doubt Izuku would be safe with UA? Nana cameo to explain her earlier hairstyle like maybe Inko was a hero fan but grew out of it and saw a bunch of heroes get hurt and-...fuck it:

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

It isn’t. It isn’t even slightly okay, but Izuku has that smile on his face. That fragile one, the kind she’s broken before. She remembers that night, as clear as if it were yesterday; her little boy crying and shaking in front of a computer screen after being told all his dreams were worthless.

There’s a pit in the bottom of her stomach, and as it grows the urge to tell him no grows with it. She felt Kamino from her kitchen, her TV screen a peak into the apocalypse.

Not even a week before he son was on a hospital bed with his arms broken in two dozen places, and then his teachers, and even some of his friends, were neck deep in something even worse.

She should say no.

She has every right to tell him no.

But he has that smile on his face.

“Of course dear.” Her mouth is full of lead, her smile feels heavy and fetid on her face. “Go see what you need to pack.”

He hugs her, kisses her cheek, rushes off to his room while calling her the best, and she can barely register any of it. She finds her way, somehow, to her couch, and puts her face in her hands.

Heroes die Inko, her mother’s voice echoes out, cold but afraid, they help and they save and they win, but at the end they die.

She was young before All Might showed up, very young, be she had memories of before; of early heroes crashing against overwhelming odds, of mass funerals and of hero agencies closing down not from lack of funding but lack of personal.

She thinks back to the summer camp (do you really need to come back?), to the shopping mall (he’s smiling put keeps putting a hand to his neck), to the sports festival (his fingers are a shade of purple so vivid she can see it even when they zoom out), to that last week before middle school graduation (Where did all that confidence come from, she thought she broke it all...). She remembers her little boy, covered in bruises and wiping away his tears (Mitsuki asking what her “brat” did this time, Inko doesn’t know what to say).

She thinks of him smiling and crying as he showed her his acceptance letter, of him pouring over his homework every morning, of unwrapping bandages from his broken fingers as he promises her (again) that he’ll be more careful.

She sees, as clear as day, her son, her baby, her Izuku, motionless and bleeding as the world burned around him and some monster without a face and without a heart laughs at him.

(All Might barely made it out alive. Kamino is a warzone. Her son, with broken arms and a broken smile and broken-and broken-and broken-)

She gets up from the couch in a rush, races for the faucet in her kitchen, and vomits so powerfully she starts coughing and tearing up.

She breathes heavily for a few moments, silently wiping her mouth as she waits for Izuku to rush down the stairs to check on her. He doesn’t, mercifully he didn’t hear her. She rinses the taste from her mouth, cleans her face, sobs, cleans her face again, and then goes to her computer with a stomp in her step and her lips in a thin line.

With a heavy heart but a steady, determined hand she types in “Hero School admittance and transfer” into the search engine and spends the next two hours reading about Shiketsu, and Ketsubutsu, and Isamu, and a hundred other names she only heard about in vague news snippets.

She’ll break his heart, that smile, like ten years didn’t pass and nothing changed, but she forges onward. He’ll feel betrayed, he’ll feel lied to, but she is done with UA, she is done with her son coming home with broken bones.

She is done and she afraid and she will not let her son be chewed up and spat out like he means nothing, like he’s just another sacrifice for the system that promises All Might but only fills out graves.

She won’t take his dream, he needs to know she still believes in him, but Inko Midoriya is done trusting her child’s safety to someone else who doesn’t know him, doesn’t know his wounds and scars like she does, doesn’t know his hopes and his heart and all the tiny little things that makes Izuku who he is like she does.

She doesn’t know who will come in a few days to convince her, but they will be wasting their time. She feels guilty for that, but only for a moment. She made a list, it has a dozen or so names on it. Options, choices, for Izuku to decide and not her.

She raises from her computer chair with a groan and a pain in her lower back and the bottom of her chest. She climbs the stairs to her bedroom, stopping briefly to look at Izuku’s door. The same childish All Might sticker proudly staring back at her. There’s no noise behind the door, he’s asleep, and after everything the last few days had thrown at him, she doesn’t have the heart to take even a minute of sleep away from him.

She lays down on top of the covers without changing out of her day clothes, exhaustion in her bones. She looks at her bedside table, sees the one picture she still has of her husband. A hand on her shoulder and a baby with grass green hair in her hands.

He’s smiling widely at the camera, reaching for it with his hands.

She buries her face in her pillow and waits for sleep to take her.

(FUCK DONE HERE HAVE IT BLAH)

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Personally I think my style is descriptive. Like most of the time I describe what’s going on in like a “third person narrator” sort of way and dialog is actually relatively short and to the point. Like, there’s a lead up to what a person says, their expression and body language plus an action, the line, and then a follow through on that and then repeating with the next person and so on.

Also I can go on tangents if a story is character-centric, like focuses on a single character then I go ham on introspection...as demonstrated by the above ^^;

11. What do you envy in other writers?

The ability to write down and rely on an outline. Like, I just cannot for the life of me really stick to a plan for too long, like I have the general idea and just add to it as I go. Writing by the seat of my pants is the only way I know how and it either gets me something I like the look of or it doesn’t get me anything at all.

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Titles are the last thing I think of, so I guess that XD I usually try not to stress out about summaries too much, usually I just either pick an interesting line from the fic, say something vaguely deep, or depend on a template. Like with my Eri shorts I always use that Two Lines for the summary, “character does something, the result of that action in as vague wording as possible”

Tags are also kinda confusing, like, do I tag everything about it XDD that’d take me longer than it took to write the damn thing!

19. s there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

Adding shit (like this) is so much fun, though I try not to over indulge XD Also a smile either “crawls” or “forms” on someone’s face, that’s the only way. Also long sentences. Also lots of “,”

Lots of short sentences describing something vaguely.

(Long paragraphs in parenthesis describing something that happened in the past or a character having deep thoughts because that shit can’t just be a fluid part of the text nooo it needs to be it’s own separate things it needs to break up the flow for a second that’s the whole point-)

and that’s what I can think of XD Call me out on other stuff I’m sure I’m blind to plenty of my bullshit XD

Thanks a lot Becc!

#imbeccablee #answers

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warrenthealien · 4 years

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. Learn more about your mutuals and followers❤

✨1. This is incredibly obvious considering what my blog has looked like for the past couple of months, but Star Wars. I was first exposed to Star Wars through watching the Clone Wars on Cartoon Network when I was about six, and I was instantly in love with it. All I wanted out of life was to go on jedi adventures with Anakin and save the universe or something (I hadn’t watched the movies yet and thought he could do no wrong, so cowabummer to that...but he’s still my favorite and I can’t change that I love that stupid, stupid man), and that took up a lot of my brain space for a couple years. I fell off of watching Clone Wars around third grade, which sucks, but I did end up watching all of the movies (except for Solo, that’s on my list) and I enjoyed all of them (though now that I’m older and understand what’s happening better I will rewatch them relatively soon), but my love for Star Wars has been relatively casual for a while. But then! I found out Clone Wars was on Disney+ AND that it’s been completed from a friend of mine months ago, and on impulse I began my nostalgia rewatch/watch (I don’t remember seeing anything beyond early season 3). I’ve been back down the rabbit hole ever since, and my rekindled love for all things Star Wars has not only been a great thing to distract me during quarantine, but the enthusiasm from many in the fandom has made me come out of my shell a bit on here, and I have been inspired to finally start making fan content of my own after years of consuming it quietly.

📚 2. As you can tell by that monster of a paragraph I just made for only one item, I love to write (about as much as I love to talk, which anyone who knows me would tell you is A LOT). I’m constantly writing bits and pieces of poetry and half-baked thoughts on a daily basis, if only to make up for my lack of planning for the bigger pieces that bounce around my brain all the time. I wish to publish at least one novel in the future, which is a dream I’ve had since I was a kid. As previously stated, I’ve been very motivated to make fan content recently-fan fiction specifically-so hopefully the creative fulfillment of doing that will motivate me to start and complete other creative projects as well.

🦎 3. I love animals and plants, which, I guess is to be expected from a biology minor. Nevertheless, I nearly squeal when I see cute little succulents in the store, flowers make me wanna cry because I feel as though I don’t deserve to lay eyes upon something so beautiful, and I firmly believe it is a SIN not to name every single one of your house plants. My goal is to one day be a plant mom/dad is basically what I’m saying. Furthermore, we as humans simply don’t deserve dogs, cats, rabbits, frogs, lizards, or any other creature in the animal kingdom. They are too good for us. Once again I tear up often just looking at pictures of animals because I feel blessed just to be able to gaze upon them (I’m hella dramatic if you couldn’t already tell but listen the emotions are real and they are really extreme). Don’t get me started on my own pets, they are too g o o d and I love them so much. If I visit your house, meeting any and all pets you may have is high on the list of priorities.

🎵4. I’m constantly listening to music. Music has pretty much always been an important part of my life, as I was born into a family that highly values music in general. To me, music is something that makes life brighter, and without it life just wouldn’t feel complete. I have yet to learn how to play any instruments, but I’ve been singing since I was able to (I feel truly sorry for all the Disney my family had to endure lmao), and I’ve always had interest in writing music and/or being in a band. Since I’ve gotten into theatre, of course I’ve very much gotten into musicals (I’ve come to realize that dreams of Broadway for me personally are probably going to stay dreams, considering my voice isn’t anything fantastic). Other than musicals, I can enjoy songs from all genres, but my favorite is still the hard rock and “emo” music I discovered in my early teens. Won’t apologize for it, My Chemical Romance returning was the highlight of 2019 for me. I love music, and if it happens to be super dramatic and emotional, I love it even more.

🍝5. My mom’s spaghetti. That has been my favorite food/meal my whole life, and it probably always will be. Learning that it’s for dinner will never fail to make me happy, and to me it will always be the best pasta that can be had, no competition.

#i love getting to answer something!#star wars #clone wars #the clone wars #emo #mcr #my chemical romance #music #theatre #animals #plants #writing #fanfic #fan fiction

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deathvsthemaiden · 4 years

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Tagged by @kashilascorner to answer these writing questions! I’m not really a writer myself but her answers were v interesting+I know some other writers whose answers to these questions I wouldn’t mind seeing 👀 (I’m going stir crazy courtesy of quarantine+am nosy 🤗) warning/disclaimer/run while you still can alert: bc these qs are aimed at writers and I’m not one these answers aren’t going to “make sense” or “fit” per say, apologies in advance ✌🏽 I draw for fun though so my answers reflect that :P

1. When did you start writing?

I remember in elementary and middle school...I used to draw all sorts of random people in intricate outfits, and would get super into it, and through middle school to early high school especially I was a serial doodler who got in trouble alllll the time (I hold some petty, bitter grudges against a handful of teachers still.) (My eyes may have been on paper instead of on you but I was listening jerkwad! 😑) and like...fantasy was the 1st genre I fell in love with so I would try to come up with stories and whatnot for them but I was (am) so easily distracted and hapless that it went nowhere but I didn’t super mind. I just wanted to draw pretty outfits and the numerous (numerous) other images in my head and....still do. Writing stories requires a little more consistency and commitment than I’m willing to give 🤭😳 To sum up: I am flighty and can’t write for fun so I’ve never honest and to god began 🤷🏽‍♀️

2. Is there any special method that helps you getting to write?

(This is abt academic writing bc aside from texts it’s what I do most) I’m a mostly stationary lump of flesh and time is my catapult. I wait till deadlines are too close for comfort, pump myself full of caffeine, listen to music non stop and suffer suffer suffer.

Or on increasingly less rare (thank god) occasions when I am almost on top of things, I listen to music and pace around my room, typing in the google docs app on my phone while I type out garbled stream-of-consciousness notes-to-self, while considering the prompt, so future me has /something/ to work with. With the pacing it takes longer to write than when I’m at a desk but like. It’s less painful and I barely notice.

3. Do you listen to certain types of music to set the mood?

I have low tolerance for any slow/sad/soulful/hypnotic/crying songs so anything upbeat works and also I NEED lyrics most of the time, I have an almost as low tolerance for instrumentals. Like they’re fine but I also find myself sitting there waiting for something to “happen” (I’m sorry shcjfnfn) I listen to music while doing most things and, like pacing, I think it elongates tasks but also makes them less painful so!

4. Drawing, moodboards, character makers, music lists or none of those options?

All of those are fun, usually music and other people’s art is what inspires me to draw most though.

5. Would you prefer a big Hollywoodesque adaptation, a smaller project coming from the heart or no adaptation at all?

I usually have medium to major gripes with the most popular/big adaptations of books I feel strongly about so the 2nd option ✌🏽

6. Do you have any taboos or topics you try to actively avoid?

I’ll answer this as a reader. I have my limits to how much suffering I can read child characters in particular go through like I’ve dropped a book or two before for disturbing me too much in that regard. They weren’t bad!! I just personally didn’t wanna weather through that so I didn’t. I dropped Arundathi Roy’s The God of Small Things because of this, even though I loveddd the prose! :( I might try out her other book (books?) one day though. Stories dealing with such dark topics are important when done right etc. I just can’t stomach them 8/10 times

7. Are you in favor or against spoilers?

If the opportunity to experience whatever is being spoiled myself is unlikely/a long time coming/difficult to attain (because it has to be translated, localized, I need to wait a while to get my hands on a copy etc) I’m probably really really eager for spoilers and will search them out/ask people. If it’s something that consistently thrills me I /definitely/ do not want spoilers though!

Trying to get spoilers from me for things I love and have recommended is usually difficult, like I’ll do it you just have to show me you reallllly are sure you want this splendiddddd story ruineD for you! D:< (I joke. Spoilers don’t ruin good stories, not completely anyway)

8. Have you ever written something to appease or spite somebody else?

To appease? That’s my whole academic “”career”” lollll *shot* not to spite no! Sounds painstaking....like you need to make eff*rt 🥴 or smth.... 😬 mad and sincere respect to anyone out there with the drive to do that though! I’m just not that kind of gal......... I’m more than open to like. Proposing alternative versions of stuff that’s dissatisfied me when talking to friends (like x SUCKED it would’ve been so much better if y and z and t and v! Don’t u agree?) and I’ve drawn a few fan arts before where I like, edit character designs that infuriate me for being tasteless.

9. Being given the options “Candy Valley of the Lollipop” or “Cliff of Despair and Looming”, which one would you say approximates better to your WIP’s general aesthetic?

Hmm. Probs candy valley, Most of my ideas for drawing are like sunny in terms of mood, if that makes any sense. I love my fiction (as in the stuff I consume, not make) on the darker side though as long as it’s not like, pointless and obnoxious about it.

10. A media you weren’t expecting to inspire you, but does.

Hmm. Realistic fiction is nice but I can’t subsist on it, I need fantasy and magical realism and whatnot to stay sane, but sometimes I read a realistic fiction book and I have such crystal clear images of the scenes in my head and it impacts me so strongly that I really, really (really) am inspired to draw them (The Overstory by Richard Powers and The Little Friend by Donna Tartt come to mind)

Tagging: @howaboutswords @pinkafropuffs @adorakeys and anyone who sees this and would like to answer these questions totally should!! Tag me! 🏷

#ty for the tag+apologies for the delay!✨#tagged in #this is a lot of rambling shxjdndnnd

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