#— do you bring with you good omens? ( ask meme. )

[bunshr00m]

Do you have any good omens head cannons?

when "the them" get older they still bring up that one time adam went all evil when they're annoyed w him

anathema thought she didn't wanna date until she met newt and realized her type was just very pathetic boys and she hadn't met a pathetic enough boy

for some reason i think muriel would get asked out a lot on earth but at first they wouldn't realize they're dates so they're just happily cruising along being an absolute player. after realizing they'd be like "so if i just keep making lip contact with my dates they'll purchase more human sustenance for me? what an interesting trading system!"

i also headcanon that muriel is a lesbian though because i sense my own

gabriel finds flies on him a lot. in pockets, in hair, in his teeth. beezlebub just wants him to have lil friends

nina isn't very good at expressing affection so she'd do it really awkwardly. she'd hand someone a trinket, say "its yours" and then leave without explaining anything.

maggie hates nina's ex more than anyone. if she ever met them she'd give them a proper little smack. also i can see her as the "with all due respect, which is none..." meme

this one is basically canon but crowley makes fun of aziraphale for saying such british things despite also being british. "just popping off to the loo :)" "jUsT pOpPiNg OfF tO tHe LoOoOo"

finally i think crowley eats burnt ass toast bc he's just weird like that.

[ineffablydelighted]

[How exploring the Ineffable Husbands' dynamic in Good Omens can help us figure out what the show/book is all about, Part 1/?]

Also called: This human has, apparently, too much time on her hands and will be trying to Effable the Ineffable for [...] hours.

Ah, Hello! 👋

I'm ineffably delighted to meet you all! 😇

Let's cut to the chase and bear with me as we try together to analyze further the subject of the day:

Aziraphale is in love with Crowley and I am pretty sure he is aware of that fact BUT 

[yes, there is a "but", do not erase me from the Book of Life just yet, let me explain first, homie 🥺] 

I do not believe he can comprehend WHY he is just yet, and what that would mean for him in terms of... well... EVERYTHING he ever stood for.

It will also be the perfect roots to answer the biggest question yet :

What is Good Omens all about, exactly?

[Yeah, it's a tough one. When I say "bear with me", I really insist on the fact that it will be LONG. I will try my best to make it fun to read and to allow some "natural breaks" but know that I would appreciate your unshared attention if you're willing to give it to me. 😇]

Although, would you have the chance to ask him about it (probably looking at a cup of tea as we would all do in Earthy fashion), Aziraphale would have somewhat of an answer to give you, probably in the range of:

"Because, deep down, Crowley is the nicest being I've ever known."

Is it false? No, Crowley IS nice. Swaggeringly nice, occasionally unhinged, but still. Nice.

And that is somewhat the core of the... "problem" for our soon-to-be Supreme Archangel [Yep, the pain is still fresh, thanks for asking, you're welcome for reminding you 😭👍] because, as much as Crowley learned nuances due to past experiences (Falling being, most likely, the most traumatic one,) Aziraphale remains bound to think in absolutes. And everything relates to THIS perfect meme right there:

[Whoever you are, person/entity who has done that, you have forever my utmost gratitude and respect]

I'm far from bringing anything new to the table here, but to Aziraphale, Crowley should NOT have fallen in the first place. Because of how nice he is. Crowley IS an angel, to him. In fact, I'll go even further by stating that, to Aziraphale,

Crowley is more of an Angel than ANY Angel in the "Main Office."

Let's present our other contestants, shall we?

When he ruled, Gabriel was an absolute a** and had an ego the size of, idk, at least A DOZEN GALAXIES. He made Aziraphale feel like... well... poop most of the time they interacted.

That is why, in S2 when Gabriel/Jim tells him "I love you", Aziraphale, even being and considering himself a "creature of love", happens to be utterly unable to either reciprocate or take the compliment. At this moment, later enhanced when he reminds himself of the Job case, he realizes he is able to feel, if not hatred, NOT love NOR admiration for somebody he should somewhat consider a role model.

That is very important for Aziraphale's present and future character development, especially considering Gabriel/Jim's own fate, so please keep that in mind.

Michael? Oh God, Same if not worse: too condescending and ambitious in the wrong way to inspire anything nice to anybody.

Sandalphon just does what they are told but can totally throw a punch if necessary.

Uriel is mostly cold, occasionally cruel, and can also be physically threatening.

[I love the actress, though. Gloria Obianyo deserves a Ph.D. in Resting Bitch Facing for her performance in Good Omens alone and I'm here for it.]

S2 Saraqael seems to be more layered but has also been hurtful to Aziraphale (especially when she ironized that he couldn't possibly be the 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle caster).

Overall, S1 Aziraphale refers to the "Main Office" Angels as "BAD ANGELS!" after their hostile encounter. We could see from his face he would have wanted to use harsher words but couldn't get past his forgiving, decent nature.

Before we talk any furfur-ther [Am I proud of this so-called pun? A-BSOLUTELEH 😎🤭], let's add a really important stone/layer to our favorite Angel's thinking: to him, it is simple maths:

GOOD = RIGHT, BAD = WRONG

And let's save it for later, shall we?

[Killgrave dear is just here to remind you you can take a break anytime to drink a glass of Talisker if you'd like, or, more so, if HE'd like. Also because that character is THE best David Tennant role on television - 10th Doctor being the worthy third, I let you guess which character is our second now - and I might have wanted to use this gif just to be able to say that, who knows? *whispers* Mysssteryyyy...]

Anyway.

To a being like Aziraphale, who mostly thinks in dichotomy, being an Angel requires one main requirement: being GOOD.

[Buy a farrrrrm and be good! Not just "pretendy" good but. properly. GOOD! - NO, I couldn't find the gif and YES, I'm mad about it, but since I'm also unable to make one myself, I'll just shut it.]

That is why he refers to the Main Office Archangels as simply being BAD.

At that moment, they had been mean to him, threatening, and, by doing so, they became somewhat active in Hell's Armageddon project. Making them "bad" angels, but, more so:

Bad at BEING Angels.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is, at heart, the penultimate goody-two-shoes: he does feel bad about himself whenever he does something bad/wrong such as lying (it has started to change, and I'll nuance that statement another time, but you get the grip).

He is constantly scared he might fall whenever he somewhat defies God's will or the idea he built in his head of what an Angel should be(have).

But have you paid attention to how his "Angelmates" NEVER seem to CARE about their own displays of, let's say "unconventional characteristics" for what should be the highest "Representatives of the sole concept of Good"?

Have you ever seen Gabriel or Michael being self-conscious about their narcissism and condescending tendencies? Uriel about their coldness? Saraqael about their sarcastic nature? Any of them about their use of violence? Of course not! They seem to be perfectly fine with it!

They own their characteristics, good AND bad.

Aziraphale does not.

Aziraphale is... soft. Even if he, at times, expresses regrets to be just that, he also applies it to his Angelic nature.

You know who else is soft?

Crowley.

Crowley is soft because he cannot kill children and takes it upon himself to LITERALLY DEFY BOTH GOD AND SATAN'S WILL TO SAVE SAID CHILDREN, including two annoying ones [especially the one who DARED to hit on Aziraphale but that is a topic for another day]

[MASSIVE Bildad the Shuhite fangirl here, consider yourselves warned.]

Crowley is soft because he cannot even kill GOATS.

Defying both God's and Satan's will to save kids? Yeah, eventually, okay.

Defying God's and Satan's will to save goats? Man, that's so effingly. more. powerful.

[Oh, look! A bird flying, normal thingy, nothing to see here, buh-bye!]

Crowley is soft because he proposes/"tempts" Aziraphale to "eat a spot of lunch", especially whenever his Angel experiences stress.

We have barely seen him eat, which might indicate he does not have such a strong taste for it personally. He only goes to the Ritz to enjoy Aziraphale's company and to watch him happily eat scrumptious, comforting foods.

[Okay, also because it morphed into a proper kink at some point but that is NOT today's subject, so stop trying to make me deviate from it! 😣]

Oh, and, before you bring that up, no, the alcohol motive is not relevant since he can, in all probability have a glass of Talisker in ANY sort of pub/restaurant in London.

[As a proper peated whisky lover who happens to be French, let me tell you this is NOT the case in my country and I'm super duper jealous of you, lads.]

Crowley is soft because he takes care of both Gabriel and Aziraphale's bookshop, even if it is clear he loathes the first and expressingly said he would not be a bookseller "even at gunpoint."

And, by "taking care of", know that I MEAN IT: he kept an eye on Jim, didn't wake him up when he heard him snore, answered any question he had, no matter how seemingly stupid they were [Even if Crowley, of all beings, cannot be anything but a raging "There is no stupid question, only stupid answers" representative] and offered him hot cocoa. As for the Booksho-P[uhhhhh *exhales in asthma*], he attempted to repair Jim's messy ordering twice and meticulously rearranged the place after ✨the Ball✨

[What do you mean, "he also Killgraved him into jumping out of the window?" HE ALSO STOPPED HIM FROM DOING SO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. #NotBiasedInTheSlghtestIndividual]

Crowley is soft because he shares his Bentley with Aziraphale. Which is a VERY. BIG. DEAL. considering it was, at the time, HIS LAST ONE AND ONLY PRIZED POSSESSION.

[Should I mention that the Bentley FALLS IN LOVE with Aziraphale or is debating on whether or not that falls into the Oedipian complex territory off-topic? Yes, I'll see myself out.]

Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale on countless occasions, even though, 99% of the time, that is pretty much unnecessary.

For real, guys: if Aziraphale had been discorporated in the course of his 6000+ years on Earth at any other given moment BUT on the eve of THE WAR with a capital "W", nobody in Heaven would have flinched.

[I do have a theory, though: maybe being re-incorporated takes quite a long time, which would have meant too many years apart from each other, hence the growing Damsel in Distress kink in Aziraphale, idk THAT IS NOT TODAY's SUBJECT, OKAY?!]

Also, Crowley is soft because "doing that makes him so happy".

Do you know who is supposedly "so happy" to save living things, aka GOD'S CREATIONS? Angels.

Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale even when it is ACTUALLY ENDANGERING for both of them

He risked: his life, his pretty comfortable position "he carved out for himself", both his Earthy and Infernal homes sort of speak, AND EVEN HIS CAR to save his Angel's bottom/help him out in the direst situations (like stopping time to stop SATAN HIMSELF.)

[Also his past/present/future existence altogether, but the Bentley is more important, as I'm sure we'll all agree.]

[That is a Class A Protective/Helpful Husband, right there.]

Crowley is soft because he encourages Aziraphale to follow his passion for ✨prestidigitation✨

Even though he is pretty... amateurish at it. Not only does he encourage him, but he also HELPS him when he accepts to be his dashing assistant on stage.

[Yes, he does tell S1 Aziraphale to stop doing magic because he "has no idea how demeaning that is" but I'm pretty sure it was BECAUSE of S2 1941's events. Also, #WeStan1941Crowley here.]

Crowley is soft because he works pretty hard to make two humans he barely knows fall in love.

Yes, he also does it to cover his and Aziraphale's 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle lie BUT don't tell me his amazed expression when he thought he was about to witness Nina and Maggie actually falling for each other was not the purest, sincerest of all.

Finally, even if I could come up with more examples,

Crowley is soft because he saved Aziraphale's books JUST because he KNEW and CARED that Aziraphale CARED about said books.

That also, in Michael Sheen's very own opinion [as stated by Neil Gaiman in S1 GO DVD commentary], shared by many fans, and myself very much included, marks the moment

Aziraphale falls in love with Crowley.

[I DARE you to tell me THIS is NOT THE LOOK OF LOVE PERSONIFIED, go on, fight meh.]

So. WHY did it happen at that moment in particular? Well, because, first of all:

As a proper Jane Austen fan, Aziraphale is a slow burner.

Also, to him, an actual Angel, love is everywhere, so differentiating one love from another might be more difficult for somebody who can feel it whether or not it is even their own.

BUT [have you started getting used to my "but"s yet or should I harass you some more?] Let's go back in time to see how every previous encounter (that we know of) led to that pinnacle, shall we?

[Oh and, YES, this sort of essay will be long, and NO, I had no idea how much it would be when I started writing it, and still haven't, tbh 🤷‍♀️]

During part 2, we will also dive a little bit deeper into what Good Omens is all about.

[Yeah... I figured we would all need a break at this point.]

More on that later, then!

Hope I kept your interest at a reasonable peak. See you soon, Angels ❤

Need help to find the rest of this analysis? I've got you covered! Follow me, Angel 😇

Previous - Beginning (you're here) - Next

[fandomanimatic-tournament]

Fandom song animatic tournament: Bracket 1 Side B

Defying Gravity - Wicked Musical

"It's time to try defying gravity I think I'll try defying gravity Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity And you won't bring me down"

Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos

"There will come a soldier Who carries a mighty sword He will tear your city down Oh lei, oh lai, oh, Lord"

Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)

Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:

Defying Gravity - Wicked Musical

Propaganda:

its just iconic

Animatics with the song:

Adventure time

The Owl House Clawthorne sisters Animatic

Arcane Viktor Animatic

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Good Omens Ineffable Wives Animatic

Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos

Propaganda:

Everyone was doing animatics of this. The meme was that you’d choose one of your blorbos to represent the “soldier,” one for the “poet”, and one for the “king.” The original point of the song is that “soldier poet and king” are all one person, and that person is Jesus, but literally no one cares about that. Who needs Jesus when you have Warrior Cats?

What's that?...it's supposed to be about Jesus? NOT ANYMORE, BABEY!! It's about my BLORBOS

It's a really nice song and can highlight different characters and their talents/abilities

If your fandom is fantasy, has a fantasy au, or characters that fit the roles, this can works. Can probably fit any fandom.

you look this song up on yt and youre going to find an animatic with it for every fandom in existence i stg man

Animatics with the song:

Song of Achilles

DSMP Sleepy Bois Animatic

Genshin Impact

The Owl House

The Adventure Zone

Please be cautious and read the title, description and warning cards on the animatic videos if you decide to watch them. If you've got specific triggers I'd recommend even more caution when watching animatics of fandoms you don't know, since sometimes canon-typical themes don't get warnings.

Please keep in mind that I don't know all the media and fandoms of the animatics provided as examples and I don't have the time (nor the will) to research them all. Don't come into my notes or my ask box complaining about them being included, I will simply block you. If a ship animatic included is about an adult and a minor, do tell me and I'll take it out of the post

ALSO keep in mind that I don't know all the artists submitted; in fact, even if I do know them I do not know absolutely nothing about them as people (I do not have twitter nor tiktok) and I could not POSSIBLY have the time to research ALL of the artists' controversies and what came of them so PLEASE don't flood my inbox with the artists' entire crime list.

[captainclickycat]

12 and 21, for the Good Omens asks

Thanks!

12. Has your interaction with the good omens fandom been overall good or bad?

Definitely both. As a franchise it’s definitely a lot of fun to talk about and engage in fun little scenarios and headcanons for. The source material is quirky and funny but also deep and thought-provoking, which is a really good combination when it comes to these things. I think my favourite part was always the “Crowley invented this” meme. Remember how there was that running joke where you’d point to some everyday annoyance or inconvenience and say “Crowley did that”? Loved that. Great fun. Genuinely quite therapeutic.

The bad part was, maybe not surprisingly, The Discourse. And listen, as far as the question of “should series 1 be considered Actual Queer Rep” goes, I think there are good arguments on both sides. It’s a complicated topic and obviously a lot of people are going to be bringing their personal feelings and experiences to the table. But like so many internet arguments, any kind of nuance got very quickly drowned in the sea of people obnoxiously trying to shut down anything contrary to what they thought and insisting that anyone who disagreed with them must be morally bad in some way. Like, the people who acted like it was the end of the world if anyone said anything even mildly critical of the way it handled things caused me a lot more anger and frustration than anything Good Omens itself ever did or didn’t do.

The other downside was, to be honest, I never really liked the level of involvement the author had with the fandom, or the way some fans acted (and still act) about him. I don’t like “word of god” at the best of times, I don’t think author comments should be considered “canon” or that anyone should have to take them into account in their interpretation of the material, and with GO that sort of thing was really difficult to avoid. Like it was just expected that everyone was going to listen to what Neil Gaiman said on twitter or whatever and factor it into their reading, and as a result sometimes you’d see people insisting that “such and such is canon” when hardly anyone who just watched the show and took it at face value would come away with that as an interpretation. Like, you shouldn’t have to do background research to have a full understanding of something! I don’t care what Neil Gaiman said on bloody twitter and I shouldn’t have to!

Anyway, those were my major bugbears, but apart from that it’s been a lot of fun, especially in the early days of series 1. I love reading fics that capture the story’s tone and the characters; they’re very fun and endearing characters to engage with and honestly just to play with like dolls in a sandpit. My best experiences with the fandom have primarily been laughing at posts going “lol Crowley glues pound coins to the pavement and then tries to pick them up the next day”. I’m not as active in the fandom these days but I’d still like more of that.

21. do you prefer crowley's hair from s1 or s2? why?

That’s tricky. The colour in S2 is closer to the sort of colour I’d prefer to have myself, and it wasn’t a bad look by any stretch, but the more flashy and obviously-dyed quality maybe wasn’t quite… fitting? Idk. Maybe the first series, just because I preferred the first series in general.

Good Omens ask game

[angel-dust-addict]

//Hey y'all. So I'm having a really bad time right now with anxiety and financial instability and all the stress that brings and trying to fix some shit so I can continue to have a roof over my head. But I'm gonna post some memes - probably going to just mostly reblog them from my other million and twelve RP blogs, as it'll be easiest to find ones I like there. Reblogging them to here for Angel, @pentagramcityradio for Alastor, and @stolasowlofgoetia for Stolas. If y'all want to send those in, that would be awesome. Even if we've never interacted before, even if we're not mutuals, or if you want to send stuff in on anon, that's all fine. I could just really use a distraction. I'm trying to get a lot of things done, but between my anxiety and ADHD it's incredibly hard to focus and I kind of just feel sick if I think on everything too much. Which doesn't help the focus. So having a distraction to kinda breathe between tasks would be amazing.

My one hard and fast rule is that I don't interact with any blog whose mun does not have their age (or at least that they're 18+, I'm not looking for specifics, just "are you an adult") somewhere on their blog. Outside of that, have at it. I would ask that you send something in if you're going to reblog the memes - just so all my notifications aren't just people reblogging stuff, as that's very discouraging - but I won't get upset if you don't, so long as it's not like all of them. All of the blogs I'm reblogging these from are either meme source blogs or my own blogs. (And do feel free to to go poke me on any of those, although only Danny - @were-up-against-them-all - is active right now. But I'll get notifications for any of his sideblogs, which are all linked in his little blurb at the top/side of his page. Danny's sort of my catch-all main, so that's Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens, Lila, Kell, Rhy, and Holland from Shades of Magic, Spencer from Criminal Minds, and very fanon/AU versions of James, Alec, and Q from the Bond franchise. I'm just not logged into any of my other main blogs right now.)

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[doesitsparkjoytho]

Blog Asks

1. Why did you choose your url?

I've actually never seen Marie Kondo's show or read her books or anything. But the idea of keeping things that spark joy, that struck me. I had deleted my rather large previous blog (it was a FFXV blog) and started over. I needed something new. New and pretty much completely anonymous. And I was going to post everything that makes me happy :) And now I make others happy, too! At least that's always my goal/hope.

2. Any side-blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.

I post here way too much to have another one lol.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

Honestly? I don't even know. I've been on and off for years. Since at least 2015. I think I had blogs before that, though.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

#the queue brings you here? (callback to FFXV when Ardyn says "the boats bring you here? Well, they'll not take you forth.")

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I can't remember if it restarted with DBH or Good Omens. But my main purpose in blogging is to spam the shit out of whatever I'm obsessed with. I have a compulsive need to create content.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Connor with swag glasses just reminds me of this nerdy android who thinks he's cooler than he is, and I vibe with that.

7. Why did you choose your header?

It's a still from Fallout New Vegas. You climb this super high crumbled building to find a hidden cache up top where this dead dude is hanging over the window with the message "I feel fine" on the wall next to him. It's just....so perfect. It was so funny to me the first time I found it.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I think it's Good Omens memes. Followed by the Hank and Connor PSA.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

A few! I'm slowly coming out of my shell again on here.

10. How many followers do you have?

A lot more than I'd ever expect to have (how? why? I have no idea 😂)

11. How many people do you follow?

200+ (and it grows everyday!)

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I don't think more than 3 days pass without me doing so

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

Way too much

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?  Who won?

I don't do drama. Everyone so far has been pretty chill. I generally ignore comments that are negative in any way. Discourse is fine, but anything implying what I'm posting is an issue, well....nope.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I don't see those often?

16. Do you like tag games?

I do if they're not just music ones, those kinda bore me

17. Do you like ask games?

Yes!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I don't know, but I would not be surprised!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I haven't had a nonfictional crush in a very long time tbh. Platonic feelings, though? Totally!

20. Tags?

Heh? If anyone feels inclined, you are most welcome! Not gonna tag on this one.

[wr0temyway0ut]

7 17 20 22 24 28 37 for the 40 Questions Meme for Fic Writers!

Hey have i mentioned lately that i freaking love and miss you

This post got very long so answers below the cut! 

(40 Questions Meme for Fic Writers)

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Tbh I’m proud of most of my work but recently I’m especially proud of this bit from Tiny Symphonies (warnings for implications of disordered eating and depression, mentions of blood and stitches): 

Bobby wants to tell Luke that he knows exactly how he feels, that he’s been in his shoes before. That he knows how pointless it feels to take care of yourself when the people who were supposed to do that for you—who were supposed to love you unconditionally— just don’t anymore. That he’s not alone; that Bobby stopped eating and sleeping and showering too, obsessing over what he could have done better, what would have made him more worthy of love. But he’s never told anyone that, not even Alex, and no one’s ever asked. Bringing it up now would make this about him, and it’s not about him, it’s about Luke. There’s no point in treating a faded scar when there’s an open gash that still needs stitches.

Just because I’m a screenwriter by trade, so most of my writing is action and dialogue, and I was sort of worried that I’d lost my touch for internal monologue or really anything that can’t be seen or heard on screen, but I think I did really well with this introspective take on Bobby, if I do say so myself.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish or do you write the scenes out of order?

Start to finish! Mostly bc with fanfic I generally don’t outline or plan ahead so I’m just seeing where the writing takes me, but even with my academic/professional work I find it hard to skip around between scenes.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

For fanfic: on my phone in bed at midnight. For everything else, on my back porch on with my cat in my lap.

22. Choose a passage from one of your older fics and edit it into your current style.

Aha okay here’s a rewritten bit from my single Good Omens fic Lift Home? I wrote in 2019 (I refuse to go any older than that)

They sit in silence for a good deal of the ride, Aziraphale clutching his books as if doing so can control Crowley’s reckless careening through the city.

As they near the bookshop, Crowley slows down ever so slightly, not that the change would be perceptible to any being without their heightened senses. Still, Aziraphale relaxes the tiniest bit, and deems it safe to break the silence.

“That really was very kind of you.”

“I said don’t mention it.”

“Well, I won’t bring it up again, but I do want you to know…” He places a gentle hand over Crowley’s on the steering wheel. “That was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

A spike of panic shoots through Crowley’s chest. Without thinking, he wrenches the steering wheel to the right, pulling his hand away from the angel’s and sending the Bentley crashing around the corner. He slams on the brakes in front of Aziraphale’s bookshop, just barely missing a fire hydrant.

With as much indifference as he can muster, Crowley drawls, “Here you are.”

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

I don’t think I have, thought lately I’ve been seriously considering orphaning my old Hamilton fics. The only reason I haven’t done it yet is because the rare email notification that someone has commented on them makes me happy.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

 @martialwriter do you count? Is this for specifically fanfic? Idk if you write fanfic but I will say it was a freaking honor to read your early drafts of the Guardians and make films with you bc you’re such a great writer. Also @a-tomb-with-a-view was sort of the first jatp writer I read when I was getting into the fandom and they continue to write astonishing pieces. I owe my entire good dad!Caleb au to @siriuslyrose and her absolutely delightful fic Are You For Me or Against Me. And @satisfictiion my old buddy from the hamilton days who is now writing a jatp percy jackson au that’s so fun and intriguing and has me on the edge of my seat. I know it said only three but also @kybee1497 and @on-irratia deserve appreciation to

37. Talk About Your Current WIPs

Ooooh boy there’s so many. So I’ve got Heart of a Dancer and The Parent Trap which are already published and in progress (i’m working on the next chapter of Heart of a Dancer rn). Honestly I have so many WIPs rn it’s just easier to post screenshots of my list

The ones I’ve actually started are the Vagabond, Finally Free, and Teenagers Scare the Living Shit Out of Me, but I’m very excited to get to the other ones. (edit: I just realized Unconditional Love has no explanation lmao, it's about Alex finding out his parents have changed and being pissed about it, framed by the song "Unconditional Love" by Against Me!)

As a bonus, here’s all the titles I went through for Tiny Symphonies before I settled on one:

[jameszmaguire]

CREATOR TAG MEME

tagged by the lovely @andyoudoctor, thank you Myra!!

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

It has been a very slow year for this main blog of mine, mainly because I got back into the Umbrella Academy in March, opened a sideblog for it and most of my creative output was on there. I still managed to scrape together five gifsets that I love for this year, and here they are!

1. Aziraphale being cute and adorable

I legit think I peaked in gifmaking with the very first gifset of the year. I made this late in 2019 but kept it to be my first post of the decade, excitedly (what different times it was!). This really was a gifset I’d been thinking of making since first watching Good Omens, because I just adore Michael Sheen’s performance and the very unique charm he brings to the character. He is so charismatic and sweet, and I wanted to capture that in a gifset. I really love the colouring on it with its soft pinks and beiges. It still makes me smile every time I look at it.

2. Let’s Dance: Best of Moritz & Renata Dances

I think this one is my ultimate manifesto as a gifmaker, because it is purely a labour of love. I knew this was not going to get any notes, because there is no fandom on Tumblr for this show. Making gifs of these two made me find the one person on this site who loves them, and that’s enough. This gifset now stands at exactly 3 notes. There are over a hundred frames for all gifs but one. The colouring is some of the most beautiful I’ve ever done. And it was all made for me, because I love this so much that I wanted to spend creative energy on them. And sometimes that’s all that matters.

3. Select Marvel Characters I Love

I have fallen out of love with Marvel, especially the MCU. I just don’t care about the overabundance of interconnected content, it is tiring and repetitive and just not for me anymore. But there are still characters from Marvel that I adore and have adored for a very long time, and so when I got a make me choose ask to pick between Marvel and DC, I picked Marvel, because Marvel has Nightcrawler. And also some other characters I really love, some select shows and movies and comics I still can come back to, like X-Men Evolution, X2 or Thor:Ragnarok, and Noto’s Black Widow or Fraction’s Hawkeye. And I made this really pretty black and white gifset with the characters I love in the iterations I love them in, and I still like it a lot.

4. Orla for Maria

Is it a cheat if it’s something I finished today? But I am very proud of this gifset I made for my dearest friend on this site, the lovely Maria. I always edit something for her birthday because I’ve been doing it for so long, and it always makes me happy to make something nice for someone else. I also just think the colouring on this gifset turned out so much prettier than I thought it was going to, so I’m very happy with it. And Orla is just so cute in these moments, it’s a good gifset.

5. Vanya in Blue

This is the first colour gifset I made for the Umbrella Academy, after the black and white gifset that unfortunately made me very quickly aware of the existence of F*veya. I like this one so much more. For the first time trying to colour this show, I think it holds up so well. I really love the blues I worked with, the moments I picked, and just Vanya in general. There are gifsets I like more on my TUA sideblog, and I will do this list for the creations there too, but this gifset? I’m still very proud of it.

Most creators I know have already done this one, so if you’ve done this already, feel free to ignore this: @evakant, @princess-marida, @bosemanchadwick @knifeears

[shirtlesssammy]

2x22: All Hell Breaks Loose: Part Two

Then:

Back in 1835, Samuel Colt made a special gun

Now:

Sam is dead, y’all. Bobby brings Dean some comfort food, but he’s just interested in a comfort drink. And Bobby suggests BURYING Sam? Gah, he’s a hunter, Bobby. He deserves to burn. Anyway, Dean’s not interested in letting Sam stay dead. He shoves Bobby away, telling him to leave. 

He apologizes though, and asks Bobby to leave. Bobby does. 

At a campfire, Jake and Azazel parlay. Azazel is a little sad that he ended up with his runner up, but he’ll deal. Jake doesn’t want to comply with Azazel’s plans. 

Dean continues his Grief Tour 2007. I’ll be honest, I like to bury my feelings in humor and sarcasm, but this shit is still real. Dean is MESSED UP. Listening to him talk about their childhood, something that has been analyzed TO DEATH by this point, still punches you in the gut. 

Yeah, Read All of This Alert:

You know, when we were little— and you couldn't been more than 5— you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know."

I just wanted you to be a kid... Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job...

And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry. 

I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too.

How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? 

Hahahahha, lolololol, NOPE. (Fun fact: I didn’t realize the Dean crying meme was from this episode because I can’t. watch. this episode.) 

Figuring out what he can do, Dean tears out of the house and heads to a crossroads. Yep, our boy is about to make the deal that’ll change his life forever. (Natasha: Dean used his Fish & Wildlife ID in the crossroads box to summon the demon and barter away his soul. And in season 15, Dean is Fish & Wildlife in the toxic werewolf brothers plot. I’m just going to sit back and slow clap this fact for a while!)

Frankly, I’m surprised the demon gave him a year. (It’s Crowley, right?) Anyway, Dean seals the deal, and Sam comes back to life. 

Dean comes back from the deal to find Sammy a little worse for wear, but alive. They hug. Sam wants answers. Dean covers up the real story and says that Bobby patched him up. Sam tells Dean about his weird Hunger Games trial. They need to figure out Azazel’s plan. Dean wants Sam to rest and recover, but SHOCKER, Sam wants to power through the situation. 

The brothers head out to find Bobby. And Bobby wins the understatement of the season when he sees Sam standing at his door. “Sam, It's good to see you up and around.” He throws some serious daggers at an elusive Dean. But gets to work anyway. 

He has information on demonic omens. There’s a place in Wyoming that hasn’t been touched by demons. It seems they’re surrounding the place. He asks Sam to take a look and asks Dean to help with hauling more books into the house.

Once alone, Bobby demands Dean tell him what he did. Dean’s face says it all and Bobby guesses he made a deal, demanding to know how long he got. Dean tells him. 

Dean continues down the “I’m not worth anything” path by telling Bobby that at least now “my life can mean something.” 

Excuse me while I fling myself off a cliff. Also, I paused the screen at just the right time. 

But, honestly, Bobby pleading with Dean to care just a tiny fraction for himself IS HEARTBREAKING. 

There’s a rattle in the junkyard (POSSIBLY my heart trying to reassemble itself). Bobby and Dean spring instantly to attention and head off to investigate. Ellen appears! She’s alive!

Well, we hope she’s Ellen. Bobby makes her do shots of holy water just in case. She explains how she survived. She was out on a pretzel run and just happened to not be there when the Roadhouse was attacked. Before he died, Ash called her and told her to look in the safe. Ellen pulls out a map of Wyoming.

Bobby whips out his research prowess. Each mark on the map is an abandoned church built by THE Samuel Colt. Colt built private railroads leading between each church which, when joined by lines on the map, form a star. It’s a gigantic devil’s trap! Sam has a lightbulb moment: all the omens are from demons circling the trap and trying to get inside. 

In the middle of the map is a cemetery. Dean speculates that Colt was trying to keep something contained inside the trap. Something in that cemetery. 

Jake pulls up to an old railroad crossing. Yellow Eyes appears and tells Jake to head for the cemetery and open up a crypt for him. See, he can’t cross into the trap....yet. Yellow Eyes hands Jake the key to the crypt: it’s a gun! (It’s THE gun.) 

“This is the only gun in the whole universe that can shoot me dead,” Yellow Eyes helpfully explains. Jake immediately points it at him, but Yellow Eyes plays on his emotions. Jake can kill him, but he’ll go back to working a dead-end job in a factory. Why do that when his family could live a good life in the coming apocalypse? 

“You have the chance to get in on the ground floor of a thrilling opportunity,” Yellow Eyes insists. I always forget how smarmy he is! UGH. Jake lowers the gun. 

Cut to the cemetery. Jake enters warily, unaware that the Winchesters, Ellen, and Bobby have beaten him to the punch. They’re waiting for him, and corner him near the crypt. Jake confronts Sam, insisting that he ought to be dead. “You can’t be alive.” EVERYONE exchanges shifty glances. 

Jake laughs at them, and then orders Ellen to point her own gun at her head. He’s been eating his brain Wheaties because she follows his command. Dean, Bobby, and Sam all drop their weapons. In the brief moment that follows, Jake springs for the crypt, jabbing the Colt into the lock of the crypt. Dean and Bobby wrestle Ellen’s gun away from her and Sam shoots Jake multiple times, then several more times as Jake pleads for mercy. DAMN. 

It’s kind of too late for the crypt. The lock spins. 

The door unlocks. Dean grabs the gun and they all head for cover as black smoke blows out of the crypt. The force of the crypt unlocking blows out the train tracks and Yellow Eyes steps calmly through the former trap’s boundaries. Ellen names the crypt: it’s a devil’s gate! And they’ve got to close it ASAP. No pressure, though. 

Dean turns to find Yellow Eyes standing close to him. Before Dean can pull the trigger on the Colt, Yellow Eyes grabs the gun with his spooky demon mind mojo and chucks Dean halfway across the cemetery. Dean’s head gets bashed against a tombstone.

Meanwhile, Sam, Ellen, and Bobby are trying desperately to close the wide-flung doors. Sam catches Yellow Eyes advancing on his brother, but the demon pins him to a tree before he can get too far. Dean gets pinned to a tombstone. 

Yellow Eyes thanks Dean for Sam’s resurrection. Demons can’t make deals to bring people back, but humans half-mad with mourning can! Yellow Eyes is ON BOARD with Sam as Hell’s general. He gleefully toys with Dean’s emotions, planting doubts about whether he brought back the real Sam. 

“What’s dead should stay dead,” Yellow Eyes says to Dean, whose eyes are TOO DAMN EXPRESSIVE and I CAN’T HANDLE IT.

Yellow Eyes continues the emotional torture. “I knew I kept you alive for some reason. Until now, anyway. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family.” Suddenly John Winchester appears and grabs Yellow Eyes from behind, pulling his black smoke version from his body. Yellow Eyes smokes back into his body, but it’s too late. Dean has the gun now. He points it and in one perfect shot, fires a bullet into Yellow Eyes. 

Yellow Eyes dies just as Ellen and Bobby manage to close the crypt doors. Dean faces his father who gives his boys little nods and then flashes out in a burst of light. JOHN OUT! 

Afterwards Dean stares at Yellow Eyes’ body. The Winchesters reflect on their father’s feat with astonishment: he climbed out of Hell! (Of course, on the back edge of season 15 we know that there’s a quite pleasant staircase one can take.) With Yellow Eyes dead, the Winchesters can check that giant lifelong quest off their to-do list. Time for a margarita party!!! 

Back at the car, Sam reflects on his interactions with Jake. He asks Dean for the truth about what happened after he was stabbed. Sam is very smart, and immediately asks if A) he died and 2) Dean sold his soul to bring him back. Dean is the worst at covering his lie. 

Sam asks how long and Dean delivers the awesome timeline: one year. “I had to look out for you. That’s my job!” UGH DEAN you’re killing me here. 

“You’re my big brother,” Sam tells Dean carefully. “There’s nothing I won’t do for you.” Sam vows to save Dean. He can totally fit that in, along with fighting the hundreds of escaped demons who fled through the gate. Sam can multitask! Dean grins and tosses the Colt into the trunk. They’ve got work to do!

What’s Quoted Should Stay Quoted!

I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too.

Sam, oceans aren't boiling, okay? Frogs aren't raining from the sky. Let's get you your strength back first.

What is it with you Winchesters, huh? You, your dad. You're both just itching to throw yourselves down the pit.

We got work to do.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[little-boats-on-a-lake]

(About the Fandom Meme thing)

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

No need do do all 3 :2

Okay but... I will

A- I have a LOT can I say Willicity???, but atm, Miraculous Love Square bc they bring out the best in each other and they’re such an essential source of comfort to each other

J- Julie and the Phantoms

U- oh boy

Catra from She Ra

Aziraphale from Good Omens

Reggie from JATP

Zuko from ATLA

Callum from The Dragon Prince

Ask me about fandoms!

[orangeoctopi7]

Is this a destiny?

*insert that one meme here*

@forduary is technically over, but they’re still taking submissions into March. Sorry it’s so late, I’ve been distracted by other fandoms and spiders apparently declared war on me. ***

When Stanford Pines was still young enough to believe his mother was really psychic, she’d often read his palm, or look into her crystal ball for him on days when he came home crying after the mockery of the local bullies got to be too much. She’d tell him that his extra fingers were a sign that he was special, that he was destined for greatness. And he believed her. Even as he got older and learned that his mother’s psychic powers were really just a combination of keen observations, good luck, and showmanship. 

He always hung onto the notion that his abnormality made him special, because the alternative was listening to all the people who said he was just a freak.

As he progressed in school and teachers started to recognize that Ford was a genius, his belief shifted. It was his academic intelligence, not his extra fingers, that made him special. He was destined to change the world with his knowledge, invent or discover things that would make people’s lives better. 

If he was recognized for his intelligence then maybe people would think of him as something other than just a freak.

***

For years, Stanford placed all his value on his academic intelligence. It was the only thing standing between him and freakdom, after all. It wasn’t until he got his first Doctorates and started research that his focus shifted again. Rather than working towards some nebulous concept of “Do something great in the field of science in order to gain recognition and rise above the image of a mere freak”, he was going to learn more about anomalies, and what caused them. He was going to make the world appreciate and respect freaks. 

The going was slow at first, and Ford found himself losing confidence until one fateful day when he went exploring in the caves above Gravity Falls. He almost didn’t read the incantation out loud when he translated the warning, but nothing ever got done in science if you didn’t experiment. And he was soon rewarded for his risk.

Bill gave Ford purpose like he'd never had before. Finally, he knew exactly what his destiny was: to bring humanity into a new era of enlightenment by connecting them with worlds beyond. Finally, people would understand anomalies instead of fearing or ridiculing them.

Stanford Pines was destined to change the world, and for the first time, he knew exactly how he was going to do it.

***

Change the world. It had seemed so clear at the beginning, but in hindsight, Ford saw through Bill's purposely vague words. All this time, he'd thought he would change the world for the better, but no! The destiny Bill had shown him was to destroy the world, not make it better. 

Had this always been his destiny? He thought back on all the people who had been repulsed by him in the past. Had they known? Had they somehow sensed he would bring about the end of the world? Were his fingers some sort of omen or early warning of his eventual fate?

He thought back on all the people who he'd driven away over the years. His brother, his parents, even his best friend. Was that for the best? Had he subconsciously pushed them away so they wouldn't become entangled in his mess?

No! No, he refused to believe this was his destiny! There was no such thing, and he was a fool for believing in it for so long! And if there was no such thing as destiny, then he could still fix this, no matter the cost!

But a small part of him didn't want to let go of that belief. Because if he had no destiny, then he really was just a freak. A freak and fool who'd fallen for a demon's tricks.

***

Out in the multiverse, Ford didn't have a destiny as much as part of him still wanted it. He had a mission: Stop Bill. Kill him, destroy him, whatever it took. 

The researcher refused to give up or die until that mission was completed. After that… well, if he was honest with himself, there probably wasn't going to be an "after that". Best not to think past that point.

This mindset got Ford through circumstances he'd never dreamed he'd be able to survive. But eventually, he found himself in a situation he couldn't power through with sheer determination. Caught in a two-dimensional plane, with no way to communicate with its hostile denizens, and no way out. He was trapped, and they were going to kill him before he'd even learned a single thing about Bill's possible origins.

When Ford blacked out, he was sure he was done-for, his mission incomplete. But he awoke in a strange dimension he’d never seen or even heard of before. A towering, seven-eyed humanoid had saved him and healed him. She called herself Jheselbraum the Unswerving, and she claimed to be an Oracle. Ford was skeptical at first. Look what had happened the last time he’d trusted a strange creature claiming to be his muse. Yet, she already knew his name, and his mission. She’d healed him. Most importantly, she was an enemy of Bill, and any enemy of Bill was an ally in Ford’s book. So, he trusted her to perform a dangerous cranial surgery to protect him from Bill’s control in the future.

Towards the end of his recovery, Jheselbraum told Ford he had the face of the man who was destined to destroy Bill. That small part of him that still wished for a destiny latched onto the information. His resolve in his mission had never wavered, but the latest near-death experience did make him wonder if it was a hopeless cause. Now, he knew he was destined to destroy Bill, and nothing was going to stop him!

***

Stanford had lost, and Bill had won. Now the only thing standing between the king of the Nightmare Realm and the rest of the universe was Gravity Falls’ Law of Weirdness Magnetism. And Ford was the only one standing between Bill and the formula to reverse it. 

Well, “standing” in a metaphorical sense. In reality, he was hanging in chains in Bill’s throne room, awaiting further torture. 

Was this the destiny Jheselbraum had told him about, forever locked in a battle of wills with Bill Cipher, so the universe outside this town could carry on? Or was she as fake a psychic as his mother? Ford wasn’t sure which option he liked better. 

If this was all destined to happen, then all that work he’d done to protect his family was for nothing. Sure, he was stopping Bill from spreading chaos throughout the universe, and he’d continue to keep the formula a secret for the rest of eternity if he had to, but his niece and nephew, his brother, his last friend, and the town he’d grown to love, they were what he’d really wanted to protect, and Bill had taken them all from him.

But if this wasn’t destiny, then everything that was happening was his own fault. He was the one who’d summoned Bill, who’d let the demon into his mind. He was the one who’d built the portal and failed to heed his friend’s warnings about the danger it posed. He was the one who hadn’t listened to his brother and just destroyed the blueprints and any directions on how to operate the thing. He was the one who’d failed to seal the rift, all because he’d entrusted its safety to his nephew, who was just a little boy and never should have been involved in something as horrible as this. He was the one who’d upset his niece by asking her brother to stay there in Gravity Falls, which led to her running off with the rift. He was the one who’d failed to tell her what the rift was or what danger it posed.

His choices. His mistakes. His failure to fix things.

Or no choices. No mistakes. No chance to fix things.

Ford was spared from having to think about it further when Bill and his Henchmaniacs returned from lunch.

***

Jheselbraum had said he had the face of the man who was destined to destroy Bill. Now that Ford stood with the memory gun in hand before his dreaming brother, her odd choice of phrasing suddenly made horrible sense. Part of him wished she’d just spelled it out for him earlier, but he knew if she had, he wouldn’t have believed her.

It wasn’t fair! His brother shouldn’t be the one to pay the price for Ford’s mistakes! Destiny or not, his brother shouldn’t even be involved in this mess! Not for the first time, Ford wished he’d never asked his brother to come to Gravity Falls, but for very different reasons than before. 

But they had no other choice. Not if they wanted to save the kids.

Stanford closed his eyes, unable to watch as he pulled the trigger.

***

A few days later, and the kids are busy packing up their things to return to Piedmont. Ford is back from the hospital, and his brother has recovered most of his memories. The old researcher’s mind wanders once again to his destiny. All these years, he’d avoided thinking about what would happen after his final encounter with Bill. He hadn’t expected to survive. But the final encounter with Bill had gone much differently than he’d thought, and Ford finds himself wondering: now what?

“What’s goin’ on in that big head of yours?” someone asks to his left. Ford turns to see his brother take a seat beside him.

“Just… thinking.” Ford answers slowly.

“Yeah, I guessed that part. It’s kinda what you do. I mean what about, genius.”

Maybe it’s the cool night air. Maybe it’s the relief that they all made it through this ordeal in one piece. Maybe it’s the comfort of knowing that he can talk to his brother again. Whatever the case, Stanford finds himself unloading all his thoughts about destiny, about his failures, and how he always seems to push away the people he cares about, or endanger them, or both.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t blame you for wantin’ to have a destiny. Everybody wants to feel like they’re special, right?”

“Yes, but… but Stanley, if I never had a destiny, if I’m not… not special, then I really am just a freak.” Ford laments. “A freak and a danger to everyone around me.”

“Ford, look at me.” Stan demands. He turns to look at his brother. “You know those aren’t your only two options, right? Bein’ destined for greatness, or bein’ a freak. That’s stupid! Sure, you got more fingers an’ brains than most people’d know what to do with, and sure, a lot of jerks’ll call you a freak for it, but that doesn’t make it true! You're a man tryin' to live his life, same as anyone!

"As for bein' a danger to everyone else, you don't think I feel the same way? You don't think I cursed the day I agreed to watch the kids for the summer the very first moment they got into trouble with all this town's weird nonsense!? You don't think I worry that one of these days somebody from my drifter days is gonna figure out I'm still alive out here, and they'll come and make trouble for the whole town?

"So maybe you pushed away the people who cared about you before. It ain't too late to change that. You got the kids, especially Dipper, he seems to think you're some sorta hero or something. Your old pal McGucket seems to wanna make amends. And I-" Stan pauses, like he's choosing his next words carefully. "I'm just happy to have you back."

Ford doesn't have words to reply. He manages a weak smile, nods, and takes his brother's hand. Stan's words help a bit, but it's hard to shake these feelings, like he'll always be alone. Like he'll always end up hurting the people he cares about. But the longer he sits there in the company of his brother, the more those feelings fade away.

At least now, sitting here with his brother and looking out at the night sky, he has an idea of what he wants to do with his life next.

[spaceshipkat]

Your blog literally mostly consists of supernatural and good omen posts and a few memes here and there. To reduce it to just anti sjm is so ridiculous - especially knowing that you constantly give writing advice etc. Can y'all SJM stans please crawl back to your pro sjm tags and leave us the fuck alone. We've asked you guys multiple times, we created our own tags, we made whole FAQs explaining why we critique your kween-and yet you guys seem more interested in us then your kween's work. Fuck off

i mean, there has been a large surge of sj///m related stuff now that the book is out, but i try to space it out and reblog other shit. spn is on its hiatus rn, too, so there’s not really anything new there to reblog. beyond that, i’d say at least 80% of my asks (out of the 442 i have rn) are sj///m related in some way, and i tend to let my asks dictate the topic of the day. 

anyway, thank you for saying this! i tag everything carefully and literally checked the main cres///cent ci///ty tag to make sure my stuff wasn’t winding up there, and it wasn’t (it only shows up if you search CCity, but i don’t think stans use that tag, hence why i use it), so it seems that these stans are just searching for anti stuff bc they know we exist and they want to have their two minutes of fame by sending me another ask with another question i’ve answered a thousand times before them. i mention my FAQ twice on my /ask page, so it’s not like they aren’t aware i have it. i think they just don’t bother to check it. 

but it all centers on two things: 1) they take our very existence as an attack against them, when our anti community is one of the best in the entire tumblr world. looking at the anti destiel tags is enough to make you want to deactivate, and we’ve worked hard to make sure our anti community is warm and welcoming, even if we do get a little sarcastic at times. it can’t be helped with the material we’re critiquing. which brings me to 2) the fact they conflate “critique” and “hate” and therefore read everything we say, everything that critiques the books, as “hate” against sj///m personally, or against themselves. they center our existence on themselves, and therefore they don’t absorb much, if anything, of what we say, and therefore they’re always gonna be around. at this point, it’s almost amusing, though it can definitely be annoying (such as, again, when they completely ignore my FAQ). 

[lady-of-the-spirit]

Fanfic writer ask meme! E, J, M, N, O, S, T, and W?

E: What character do you identify with most? Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

Lowkey Archie Andrews, not because I’m as stupid or impulsive as he is (I love him but it’s true), but just because he feels very passionately about things, he wants to do good and help people however he can, and it seems like a lot of the time he’s pushing down his hurt to keep moving forward. And sometimes I do that too. I appreciate and can relate to his desire to do good and help the people he loves even when he has no idea how to do it. I think my fic Rotten Work shows the “pushing down his hurt” part of him pretty well, while my fic Sweet Peas for Sweet Pea shows the sweeter, loving side of him well. 

Also Din Djarin and Eric from Santa Clarita Diet, because even though Din is on the opposite scale of being a threat (he’s a 10 and Eric and I are like a 2 at most), we’re all so very socially awkward. Unfortunately I haven’t written a fic for either of them that shows this side. 

J:  What’s your favorite fanfic trope?  Have you written it?

I feel like hurt/comfort/whump is an obvious one, but yes I have written this. Comfort fics where the only plot is for characters to turn to one character and be like “Hey this canon thing that happened to you was traumatic are you okay?” and actually deal with it are great. I have written this too.

Honestly probably Role Swap AUs. I feel like this is another obvious one, considering that I have the tag ‘role swap aus are the best aus’ but it’s TRUE. And yes, I have written this - the Doctor-Companion swap AU obviously, but I also wrote a role swap AU for the movie Princess Mononoke a few years ago. That’s what started my obsession. I kind of put it on hiatus and haven’t updated it in a few years but I still love it. 

I also love soulmate AUs of any kind and also the “Five plus one things” fic, but I’ve never written either of these things. 

M: What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with?  Did it turn into a story?

I once came up with an AU for the show Friends where Rachel ended up going to the opera with Emily instead of ditching her, and Rachel realized she was bi and she and Emily ended up together. I had a whole plan for it, too! If the motivation ever struck me I would write it now. 

I also once came up with a Shrek AU for my character Kris and Wanda Maximoff. Wanda was the “Shrek” character (Pietro too), Kris was the “Fiona” character. 

There’s also that Zeddison Santa Clarita Diet AU I made a post about lol 

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

Three Good Omens fic ideas: 1) Horsepeople struggling to raise Adam, 2) Frannie is in a car crash and Famine flips out, and 3) Pollution is critically injured and the Horsepeople bring them to Aziraphale and Crowley. 

Another Mandalorian imagine.

Another fic for A Christmas Prince focusing on Simon and Melissa. (They’re cute and I like them.)

A Power Rangers fic with my OC Rose. 

Another Ben and Ryoko fic, maybe with this one Mal and the others meeting her too. 

Indiana Jones AU-ish kind of fic where it’s the first movie but he has a wife (my OC) and they kick ass together and are basically Rick and Evie from The Mummy except they’re assholes. 

O: What are your thoughts on people writing fanfic of your fanfic?

I LOVE IT. It’s happened about twice now for my Doctor-Companion role swap AU and both times I was like “Oh! My! Gosh!” It’s amazing. 

S: How do you feel about fan art inspired by your writing?

I love it. I would name my first born child after anyone who made me some. 

T: Any fanfic tropes you can’t stand?

Alpha/Omega AUs. Dom/Sub AUs. Hurt no comfort. Porn without plot. Character bashing (unless I’m in a very specific mood). Major character death.

W: What is your favorite pairing to write?  Favorite pairing to read?

I think my favourite pairing to write is probably the one I’ve written for most often, which is Sweet Pea/Archie from Riverdale. They have such a fun mix of personalities - Sweet Pea is rough and angry, Archie is rough and sweet, they’re stupid AF but are very passionate and care about things a lot. Although I haven’t done a lot for them, it’s a fun dynamic to write!

My favourite pairing to read is definitely Donna and Ten. Platonic or romantic, either one is fine for me. They’re both just a one-braincell duo and Donna calling Ten out the fuck out while also caring about him a lot is my favourite thing. Anything they get themselves into is guaranteed to be hilarious, sad, or BOTH and it’s always wonderful. 

[leafenclaw]

B, N, and P for the ask meme, please? ^^

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

I’m the most easy person to influence when it comes to fictional pairings, honestly. Unless I can’t stand one of the characters involved, you’ll never get a firm “NUH” from me (you may get one after I try and decide it’s not my cup of tea, but I’ll always be willing to hear it out first). And I’m also usually the first one to bring up all the weird pairings, much to my poor friends’ horror when I stumble on a new one and start ranting about it. x)

However. There was that one time I stumbled on a Morland/Joan werewolf-verse story and went .__. because I hadn’t considered them at all. Well, I’m super glad I clicked. The story was amazing and frankly it made me look back on all those Morland VS Joan confrontations in season 4 with fresh eyes (and much amusement).

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice). 

1 - Meta-analysis that isn’t written around pairings, including pairings I’m interested in, because sometimes I get sick of all fandom things being filtered through the lens of relationships. My main fandoms lately are TV shows, so how about rants on camera language, use of light, colour schemes, what they’re trying to achieve, and how this affects the perception of characters involved in a scene (theirs and/or ours)? How about analysis of scene composition, of narrative arcs over a season beyond how characters bond with each other, of character portrayal depending on who writes them? Tell me about recurring themes and language quirks of writers across their episodes, about the things that worked and didn’t work in episodes directed by main actors on the show, about all those allusions to the source material those shows were inspired of. Hell, especially with TM because at least Elementary did a little bit of that in early seasons, give me an exploration of how character arcs are affected by issues that define them in a significant way (race, multiculturalism, gender, sexuality, neurodivergence, etc.). Or for God’s sake someone give me signs there would be interest if I was to rant about those things myself.

2 - How about going back to “Your Kink Is Not My Kink (And That’s Okay)”, “Ship And Let Ship”, and “Don’t Like, Don’t Read”? Seems like we could all do with more of that.

3 - Very selfishly, more Joshua Vikner content please.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). 

Kurland’s Moriarty series: Hmmmmmmm how about a Good Omens AU in which Moriarty is Aziraphale (misanthropic book seller with a sweet tooth and a marked loathing for parting with the books he collects) and Holmes is Crowley (reluctant agent of chaos with an unhealthy fascination for his angelic colleague). Would work well, no? XD The other way around would probably work just as well, but it wouldn’t be as funny to me. ^^

Elementary: You know what, there’s this one thing I’ve been thinking about for a while but never took the time to put into words. See, in my culture we have this very particular brand of magical realism deeply rooted in Catholicism? It’s a bit of an unholy union between the Bible, Irish fae folklore, and Native American myths, where any number of supernatural beings walk amongst us because they belong here the same way we do, but at the same time they’re always just waiting to trick you into an unholy pact and/or do miracles for you depending on what you say and do when you interact.

And I’d love to see Sherlock and Joan deal with a world like that. Being called when cops suspect the crimes they're investigating have a supernatural element to them for example, possibly because the cops are too scared to get on the bad side of the creatures responsible for trouble, and Sherlock doesn’t give a damn about the risks he personally incurs. Possibly in turn because Jamie is a supernatural creature who claimed Sherlock as her own, and those beings are known to get very possessive with their humans so nobody can get in their way directly without suffering Jamie’s wrath. (And she’s scary. 0.0)

Or perhaps Sherlock is himself a renegade creature who got striped of his powers, so now he uses this insider knowledge to help solve supernatural crimes, undo harm, and generally cause trouble for his own kind. Can you imagine on what apocalyptic level the traditional Holmes/Moriarty pissing contest would occur the moment Jamie realises this damn human getting in her way isn’t actually a human at all? Or the impending crisis when Jamie just casually claims Joan, partly to protect her (in a “you’re mine to harm or cherish as I see fit, others can piss off” way), partly to annoy Sherlock who cannot do it himself anymore?

I could go on (relationship with the 11th precinct, Morland vs Jamie, Mycroft) but I’ll stop here because this is getting long, sorry. ^^; But, yeah. The possibilities with that kind of world are endless and all of them make me clutch my face in glee. x)

Alphabet Ask

[hobiwonder]

Infatuated | 02 (m)

Summary: You liked planning ahead. To save your future self some avoidable heartache, you’ve set your eyes on the golden boy, and your brother Yoongi’s best friend, Kim Seokjin. Some may call it an obsession. Your best friend calls it ‘picking the wrong guy’. Park Jimin calls it stalking and you just call it infatuation.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader, Reader x Seokjin

Genre: Smut, crack.

Warnings: Oral, dirty talk, unprotected sex, facial.

Words: 11k+

A/N: here it is. After pushing the post date further and further i’m still not to happy with all of it hhhhh. I like some parts more than others and some i may be overthinking lol. let me know if you guys enjoyed it. Thanks everyone for being patient ily<3

You had imagined this day so many times that it was almost too hard to make yourself not think about spending time with Jin. You had seen him on a few dates before – accidentally, mind you – and rather than a bout of jealousy you’d felt determination course through your veins to be the girl in those fancy café couches that Seokjin always took his dates to. And that’s not too off the typical chain of thoughts and emotions someone feels after seeing their crush on a date with another girl. Not weird at all. Yeah sure you got yelled at by Sana to snap out of it and stop being a sociopath but there was nothing sociopathic about a crush!

“Yes it is! Especially when you look like you’re about to go to a business meeting than a date.” You groan for the hundredth time it seems, smoothing down the formal blouse you wore on top of your formal-ish pencil skirt. You needed to look put together and like someone Seokjin could see himself bring to his future meetings for his future career. Ugh, why couldn’t Sana have an equally intense infatuation with someone like you did?

“Not infatuation either. You seem even more uninterested in the romantic aspect of dating Seokjin-ssi than before.” Great. You were thinking out loud and Sana was more annoying than a mom sending her teenage daughter off to prom.

“What even happened last night anyway? How did your clothes not dry in a whole night?” Her furrowed eyebrows underneath her glasses has you scrambling your brain to find something else to throw her way before her stupidly beautiful big brain put two and two together.

“Uhh I just took another swim afterwards until late night so they never dried properly I guess.” Your nonchalance is commendable – you’ve got to say because Sana is only mulling your explanation in her head for another 5 seconds before the sound of your phone buzzing has you both distracted.

“Is it him again?” Sana’s arms are crossed as she watches you check your messages and the smile on your face confirms it all.

“He’s leaving his place now.”

“You guys aren’t going together? He literally lives like two buildings away.” Oh boy. Now you have more explaining to do.

“No.” Shrugging your shoulders casually, you hope her inquisitive and protective personality doesn’t get in the way of your date. “He’s with Yoongi right now and I’m sure he doesn’t want to let him know about us yet.”

“’Us?”

“Ugh. Sana, give it a rest will you.” You finally break your silent composure and face her cross armed figure that looms behind you like an over-protective mother. “It’s not that big of a deal. I’m an independent woman. I can handle going to the local café by myself.” The sweet smile you send her way isn’t enough to change her opinion about your date with Seokjin but you can see her finally relenting and that’s all you care about.

“Fine whatever. But seriously,” she continues to drill the same words in you as you walk past her to fetch your booties that matched your outfit perfectly. Not too formal and not too informal. “I still don’t understand why you have to wear… that!”

She’s pointing her finger at you accusingly but thankfully you’re almost out of the door. Turning around for the last time before you left though, you take a hold of her shoulders in hopes of getting through to her anxieties about your ‘sham’ of a date with Seokjin - to her anyway.

“Sana, I get that you don’t approve of this sudden…change in events but maybe he genuinely has gotten the vibe from me you know?”

“I don’t.” She deadpans.

“Don’t be such a party pooper!” You don’t care that you probably sound like a child whining – cutely you hope – while you attack her with cuddles again and she unsuccessfully tries to wiggle out of your embrace.

“Fine, fine! Let go off me you koala… sloth hybrid.” And all you can do is make kissy faces at her. Adorable little demon. You could never leave for a date with Sana mad at you. It was a bad omen you’d learned.

“Even though none of this smells right to me,” She puts up her finger to stop the protest from escaping your tongue, “I hope he is at least a fun time.”

You can sense it in her words and most of all – in her eyes that she’s just concerned for you. Probably more than a friend is. This is why she was your soul sister. The complete opposite of you maybe but she cared for you like no one else did and for that you were always grateful. She was family.

“I’m sure he will be. He’s going on a date with me afterall,” your less than humble wink has her scoffing and you just blow her another kiss – to which she gags at – and say your goodbye.

“Don’t wait up!”

“Pipe down you slut. It’s only a coffee date.”

You wanted to arrive fashionably late but guess that was reserved for Seokjin too. Glancing at your watch doesn’t make the time go any faster but you try to stay occupied nonetheless. Which isn’t hard when Jimin keeps sending you cringey texts as well as shirtless selfies which you absolutely do not gawk at.

“Hey there pretty girl.” Seokjin’s airy voice fills your ears like water traveling through a dry river after a long drought. Dramatic? Absolutely. But you rarely felt like doing anything less when Jin exuded charm and his good looks brought out all the cheesy romantic movie plots in front of your eyes. Sure your heart didn’t skip a beat or felt anything other than the normal feelings you got when you had a crush. Didn’t mean you couldn’t fall in love later though! That was more realistic anyway.

“H-Hi! You look great.” You’re blurting out your words and you know that because Jin is already smiling his polite smile you’ve seen him wear almost all the time. However, instead of sitting down in front of you; you watch him with a puzzled look when he walks around and takes a seat right next to you. When he does; his whole body faces you and this is probably the closes he’s ever sat with you since… ever really. He must have noticed your reaction too because he’s laughing his pretty laugh when you just continue to stare at him.

“Thanks,” Tilting his head, he takes in your attire and suddenly you feel too overdressed when he’s shown up in some nice jeans and a fluffy sweatshirt. “You look…. Serious.”

About becoming your wife? Yeah. But you don’t say that of course. It only takes you a couple of seconds to get yourself together and turn on your charm switch because you did not want to blow this for yourself. Flipping back your hair as you throw your head back with a laugh – nailed it.

“I had a meeting.” You lie. But it sure gets Seokjin’s attention as he rakes his eyes up and down your form while he nonchalantly places his hand on the back of your chair as he turns himself completely towards you in his own seat. “For my thesis.”

“Ah,” he seems distracted but you’re not worried because he’s biting his bottom lip as he watches you speak. Damnit, why doesn’t getting his undivided attention – finally– feel better than it actually did?

“Sorry about this though.” You conjure the cutest pout you can and seeing Jin’s smile widen makes you high five yourself internally because he’s buying what you’re selling.

“No, no. You look…. Amazing.” He’s nodding as he says it and you just smile at him.

“Do you want to order now?”

“Yeah! I’ll take a chocolate brownie with a frappe please.” He’s chuckling at your excited response before he’s off to the register to order. Should you have paid? No right? He didn’t even ask you about it so it must be okay. As long as you weren’t coming off as rude.

“Coming right up.” He only stays for a few more seconds, looking at you with a look you haven’t seen from him before and then gets up to order. As soon as he’s gone you can let out a breath you didn’t realise you’d been holding in. Taking out the compact from your little crossbody bag you make sure your makeup hasn’t dried up on your face – thanks to the aircon in this place sucking out all the moisture from your face – and then quickly put it back once you’re satisfied.

“Ugh, what does he want.” Your phone is vibrating continuously as texts from Jimin continue to bombard your phone and you know he’s doing it on purpose to ruin your date! It’s nothing even important except random memes about bad dates.

“You look like you want to murder your phone.” Your gaze is jerked back up to Seokjin’s amused one as he returns and this time takes a seat across you.

“Ah more like someone.” The words are tumbling out before you can stop yourself.

“Yeah? Who’s bothering you?” He leans in further, furrowing his eyebrows to no doubt show you he’s capable of being threatening. Though it’s hard to find a face as handsome as his own threatening to be honest. “Do I need to teach someone a lesson?”

And you just laugh The laugh you have practiced and you must say – you’re killing it. “I think you do that enough on the field. It’s just Jimin.”

At the mention of the younger boy’s name Seokjin’s nodding as his eyebrows shoot up again – very much still looking amused. But this time there is another twinkle in his eyes that tells you he is not looking at you as a friend but there isn’t much ‘just-friends’ about the way he has been shamelessly checking you out since he’d arrived.

“You guys seem close.” He doesn’t stop looking at you inquisitively even when the waitress brings your drinks to the table. “I thought you two weren’t… involved.”

That’s the word he finally seems to settle with after very obviously trying to think of a better one to describe your relationship with that weasel – who very much seems to be the topic of your conversations lately. How does he manage to slip in to almost every aspect of your life these days? Ugh.

“No!” You’re almost shouting it out which takes Jin by surprise but he only seems relieved and that just excites you more. All these questions must mean something right? Was this finally the time he was going to ask you out? Oh sweet heav- right. You need to finish your side before he gets weirded out and runs. “No, nothing like that. He’s just… annoying.”

“Is he?” Seokjin is smiling at his own chai latte when he notices the look of disgust on your face. “Seemed pretty close to me at the party.”

You can’t help the smile that stretches across your lips almost immediately. Finally – something that weasel Jimin said actually paid off.

“You were watching me were you?” Seokjin’s melodious laughter fills your ear once again and gosh – you could get used to that sound. Even his laugh sounded graceful. So not fair.

“Y/n, every guy at that party was watching you beat Hyolin. Which was pretty cool by the way. I’ve never seen you so aggressive before!” He’s laughing in amazement while all you can think mentally – slightly feeling guilty for putting on this sweet girl façade – oh you have no idea.

But you can’t help it either when you’re ticking the strands of loose hair behind your ear, shrugging insouciantly to make sure Seokjin could see of how little importance it was to you that other men were noticing you. Or the fact that Jimin suggested the chicken fight in first place but he doesn’t need to know that.

“I guess I’m competitive.” Your grin is mirrored right back when Jin is shaking his head while he chuckles at you.

“You and me both.”

“Really?” He didn’t seem like it at all. Everything just seemed to work out for him – or so it seemed you guess.

“Yeah. In some aspects.” His smile tells you it’s not something common or entirely innocent because his smug grin while he wraps his plump lips around the straw. It’s honestly such an entirely new concept of Jin being this… forward. You’ve never seen him act like this before with you. This must be how he flirts and you can’t believe that you’re on the receiving end of it.

“Oh.” There isn’t anything else that comes to mind so you just settle with staring at him quizzically instead. Trying to figure him out even though you thought you had.

“Don’t look so surprised. I’ve just never shared that info with you before.” He’s patting your hand playfully and leaves it there to linger on your skin. His hands are unbelievably soft and it’s a nice feeling. His hands are soft and warm. And big – wow.

“Like them?”

“Uh.” You stutter – blushing when you realise you’ve been caught being a weirdo again. Damn it. “Yes? Yes. They’re pretty.” You outwardly cringe at your choice of words. This was going downhill fast but thankfully Seokjin doesn’t mind but only chuckles at your response again but doesn’t move his hand instead – only moves it further up your arm. The atmosphere is taking a turn as the café gets quieter with only a few other people sitting on the couches further up at the front.

“Well, thank you.” He tilts his head up and slightly to the side as he continues to stare at you with his intense eyes. Very much like how Jimin looked at you in the pool but the difference was that you were very much hypnotised while you stared back. With Jin – not so much but they were still nice to look at. You mentally reprimand yourself for thinking about Jimin while literally being in front of the man you’d been pining for, for years. “I’m very good with them too.”

Your breath is hitching at his forwardness because wow – this was a complete new Jin you were getting to know. He’s biting his lip and just for a few more seconds does he continue to hold your gaze so intensely like you’d asked him a riddle he was desperate to find the answer to. He’s snapping out of his sensual alter-ego you suppose – when he smiles brightly at you effectively snapping you out of whatever hold he had on you.

“So, you hungry?”

Hours have passed since you’d met up with Jin and honestly – he was everything you’d imagined him to be. Apart from his very overtly sexual flirting at the start, he’d just stuck to being his regular flirting self. Which was also new to you but oh-so-fun. While your responses had been calculated – sure – to keep up with the image you knew Seokjin would like the most; it was quite a fun time. You were genuinely enjoying yourself. In fact – more than you had anticipated. Maybe this will be easier than you thought. You could see yourself and Seokjin down the line and the idea didn’t make you sick to your stomach like you’d secretly thought would happen if you didn’t actually end up liking his personality when you got to be this close. But so far, so good.

He’d taken you to another restaurant that was definitely out of your budget – not that he made you pay for it or anything. Which was nice. It was pretty amazing actually. The food was maybe a bit too posh for you but you ate it anyway. Don’t knock it before you try it right? Well you could safely say you hated seafood. With a passion. How you didn’t gag when Seokjin insisted on handfeeding you the mussel is beyond you. But it’s not like you’re both going to like the same things right? It was good to be different from each other. So, so different. Wow. Seokjin was reallydifferent from you. He loved sports, seafood, playing instruments and golfing. And was an avid stamp collector. Most of all – you realised how boring it all sounded. Sure maybe sports wasn’t that boring of a hobby – you personally despised any form of physical activity – but you knew he was a great basketball player. At least you got to see his washboard stomach when he was sweating during games.

But whatever. You still had a good time. It was almost 9pm when you’d both finished your dinner and he’d walked you back to your dorm. His request had surprised you because you’d just expected that both of you would leave separately but apparently not. Currently, you’d just stopped in front of your building as Seokjin came to stand in front of you.

“I had a great day, oppa!” Your million watt smile is as cute as you can get and Jin seems to like it because before you know it – he’s taking a step closer and you have to fight your feet to stay put on the ground and not take a step back – on instinct.

“I did too.” Jin is reaching out his hand to tuck your hair behind your ears – something he’d done quite a lot today and you’d mentally fist pumped for leaving your hair out. You both seem to notice the shift in the air once more because no one says anything for the next minute. You have to look up slightly as Jin’s tall frame looms over you. You don’t notice that he’s been closing the distance between you both until he’s only a breath away. And before you know it – his soft plump lips are covering your own.

You’d imagined this moment so many times you’ve lost count. How the fireworks would instantly explode when your lips would touch while the butterflies would do their dance. The memory would be so unforgettable that it would be ingrained in your brain forever. However – annoyingly but not surprisingly – none of that happens. Sure the kiss is good and Jin’s lips are soft like pillows. There isn’t too much tongue to make it sloppy but not so chaste that everything feels a bit dry – just right. Perfect really if you were to judge the technique. Though there is no indication for you and your feelings that they’d be changing anytime soon.

You push the slight panic down when the reality wants to knock on your door in the middle of a kiss with your dream guy!

Seokjin’s hands had slipped around your face while he deepened the kiss and your hands automatically go to his waist – not knowing where else to put them. This was finally happening and yet you were way too aware of your surroundings than being lost in the kiss. Thankfully – Seokjin’s pulling away after a few minutes. His lips are looking more tempting than his kiss with how shiny and red they looked. But you realise that’s probably because they looked too much like another annoying boy’s in the darkness of the night and the shudder that goes through you is thankfully not too out of character given the circumstances and Jin is just smiling at you. Most likely thinking it’s because of him, thankfully.

He bites his lip while continuing to stare at yours – hands slipping down your arms. “Come to the party at my place tomorrow night?” Your eyes are bulging out of your head at the mention of visiting his house. Wait did he mean his frat?

“Your frat?”

“Well,” he smirks while his hands trace the lines in your palm, “not exactly. I meant my actual place. My parents are usually up at the lake house during this time of the year so it’ll be free.”

“I never knew that. Do you need my help to set up or anything?” He’s throwing his head back in response as a loud laugh escapes his pretty mouth.

“No sweetheart. It’s not the first time I’m having a party there.” You try not to gawk at him. It’s not? How come you never knew about these parties? You were practically invited to every party on campus. Though the knowledge that you’re finally going to his house is making you giddy. You were getting somewhere with him – finally. Everything was starting to work out.

“Okay. I’ll be there.” You just lean up to kiss his cheek in goodbye as he only grins in return.

A loud honk is interrupting you and both of you are jerking towards the sound as a Mercedes pulls up on the side of the road. Jimin’s annoying face is peering out along with Taehyung who’s on the passenger side. A low whistle sounds from the car while Jimin is annoyingly looking all too smugly at you. Automatically making your blood boil.

“Well hello there love birds.” You’d been too busy being annoyed on as your default emotional reaction to Jimin showing up anywhere near a five mile radius from you to notice that Seokjin had actually moved to stand a step apart from you compared to him being almost hovering over you just seconds ago.

“Jimin. Tae, what are you guys doing here?” Seokjin’s tone is back to the even drawl it always was before the one you got to know today and it only mildly bothers you that he’s acting like you both just met up on the sidewalk than returning from a date.

“Oh you know – just our usual rounds. I personally was looking for y/n.” He’s smiling sweetly at you while you’re trying not to roll your eyes and snort unattractively. Definitely ignoring the stupid butterflies that start dancing for the wrong boy because of his adorably dimply smile. Ugh.

“No he wasn’t.” Your response it almost instant and Jin is just watching you two slightly confused. You look at him with a reassuring grin and roll your eyes playfully to pass off Jimin’s comment as a joke.

“Actually we were. You left your bra at our frat last week girlie.” Taehyung obnoxiously loud voice is yelling out from besides Jimin and you just want earth to swallow you right up. Especially knowing how that must look in front of Jin.

To make matters worse – Taehyung is holding up said offending item up in plain sight for everyone to see and you can’t even be mad at that dumb blonde – literally, his hair was blonde now. He looked way too casual and no sign of a sleazy smirk was to be seen on his face. As if it were a pair of shoes or something equally uninteresting that you left at their place. Meanwhile – Jimin is looking very much like the sleaze you’d actually expected Taehyung to be. This was the first time you’re seeing Jimin after that night because while you’d just opted to forget about it all together, Jimin very much reminded you of it every day. To annoy you obviously. Why else?

Not like it was a big deal to him either. This was probably the norm for him since he had probably slept with several other women since then. You scoff internally but you should’ve probably been paying attention because Jimin is taking the undergarment from his friend before he’s flinging it out of the window towards you. You can tell he’s purposely flung it towards Seokjin more than you and you are just about ready to kill him.

“Thanks jerks!” Seokjin had caught it with ease and you’re finally looking towards him – very much expecting him to look disgusted but surprisingly – he’s anything but. In fact he seems to be holding in a smile as he hands you your bra.

“You’re welcome.” Jimin is winking at you before he’s driving off towards their frat down the road.

“I am so sorry. I had borrowed clothes after the party last week and must hav-”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Jin is shrugging indifferently – not looking displeased or disgusted at all. Which is good right? You sigh internally but something about his reaction feels… off. Though you push that feeling down once more and just smile at him apologetically.

“Really y/n. It’s fine. You don’t have to explain.” This time he doesn’t hold back his smirk and you can tell he’s not exactly thinking the purest thoughts and you want to dance!

Seokjin was finally coming around and you were just about ready to burst with joy. This was finally happening.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Jin is leaning forwards to steal a kiss – making you giggle.

“Yes you will.”

“Wait seriously? Seokjin has parties at his own house?” Sana is just as surprised as you when you tell her about the invite. She’d nearly caught you with the bra in your hand when you’d come in but the bright smile on your face had distracted her enough for you to throw it in the hamper before she sees it.

“Yes! So weird right? I thought it was just the frat house.”

“Me too. But hey,” she sits up on the couch where she’d been laying while you got ready for the party, “Sounds like he’s actually really in to you.”

“I know,” The smile on your face is one that screams ‘I’ve won’ and Sana is more than relieved. You can tell by her face that her suspicions and worries about you trying to stay involved with Jin are eased ever so slightly because she doesn’t continuously nag at you this time. Just watches you get ready to go.

“You sure you don’t want to come? I’m sure he won’t mind.” She only just waves you off in response. Why was she so stubborn?

Wait. Is this how she felt when you ignored her? Damn you’re annoying.

“But he didn’t invite me. And he obviously doesn’t invite just anyone at these parties so I’m not about to crash.”

“You’re way too polite Sana.” Shaking your head and sighing wistfully isn’t strong enough a tactic to blackmail her in to abandoning her rule following nature.

“Yeah yeah. Whatever. You’ll be with Jin anyway so I’ll be bored.” You’re about to just ignore her but a certain blonde haired, deep voiced frat boy is coming to mind and you can’t help but smirk.

“What? What are you smiling about?”

“Taehyung will be there.” Instantly – her cheeks are going redder than a tomato while she makes a show of trying to look interested in whatever is playing on the television.

“A-And?” She’s adorably pushing her glasses further up her face but only someone completely socially inept would miss the slight higher pitch of her voice. Boy, she definitely had a crush.

“Ugh. You’re such a prude. Fine stay home and watch your boring TV.”

“MasterChef Junior isn’t boring!” Your eyes go wide at the mention of the show and you momentarily stop curling your hair.

“Wait is that what’s on tonight?”

“Yup! And you’re missing out just because of a boy.” She’s sticking out her tongue like both of you are thirteen again. But damn. You deserved that. That show was fucking hilarious and she really was the winner here tonight.

“Damn it. Don’t spoil this episode for me. I’ll watch it when I get back tonight.” Hurriedly you’re making sure your sundress looks smooth and your hair is spread evenly around you in the curls you’d just put them in so graciously.

“If you come back.” She’s muttering under her breath but you’ve heard it anyway.

“I heard that you bitch.” Throwing a cushion at her only gets you another funny face. “I’m definitely coming back. Not about to sleep with him on the second date. Besides, Seokjin is too classy to ask me that anyway.”

Sana is only looking at you like you’ve said something ludicrous. “What?! It’s true.”

“Whatever you tell yourself. He’s still a guy you know? Be careful.” You only run up behind the sofa to hug her from the back while she protested in response as always.

“I will, mom! Thank you for being cool with this.” This time, her sigh is one which lacks any playfulness at all and you know that she is genuinely hoping for you to be safe and have a good time.

“You’re smart. You know what to do. Now let go of me you hug freak.”

“One day you’re going to get the most huggiest boyfriend ever Sana. Just wait!”

“Get out before I change my mind and come just to sabotage your date.”

Ah, you loved that hermit.

Once again, your plan of arriving fashionably late is kind of a bust. Because rather than having Seokjin greet you like you’d imagined; Jimin’s blonde hair is greeting you instead and for once you’re face to face with the heels you were wearing.

“What are you doing here?” Jimin’s snort is the first sound you hear and you instantly wanted to strangle and make out with him!

“Uh, hi to you too y/n. If you’ve forgotten, Seokjin is my teammate and I don’t know? Best fr-”

You just push past his drama queen self and barge in. Not going to lie to yourself but Jimin’s chest somehow seems even more firm than before. Aaaand that was a bad though to be thinking at the moment because suddenly it’s too hot in your otherwise breezy sundress.

“Yeah whatever. Where’s Jin?” Jimin doesn’t waste any time in making sure his expressions are exaggerated as possible because he knows it annoys you. Why was he so annoying?!

“You’re so rude.” He’s of course shaking his head animatedly while he walks besides you and it’s only now that you notice the red cup in his hand. Most likely a mixture of high-end hard liquors. The boy drank like a sailor. “Considering we’ve exchanged body fluids I thought you’d be nicer to me.”

“Jimin!” ugh why did he have to say that? “Fucking gross! Go away you’re making my drink taste bad.”

He’s staring at your empty hands before he gives you a ‘the fuck’ look. “You don’t even have a drink yet.”

“That should tell you how badly you’re affecting my vibes? Go away.”

“You’re lucky I find you so hot.” His smirk is out of character because he isn’t teasing you further. Only taking a drink from his cup while his eyes peer over it at you and you wish he would stop. Because you’re already running hot and that’s also because of him. Jimin’s hair is dishevelled like it always is from his constant attention to it. And damn you if it wasn’t soft. You’ve tried everything you could this past week to keep the thoughts of that night from the party – locked in a chest filled with all of your bad experiences. But it was hard when it was one of the best experiences of your life and the reminiscing memories kept thrashing out of the secure lock you had on said chest.

Speaking of chests; there was one that you really wanted to see again. Yes. You guessed it. Jimin’s.

Ugh. Why was he everywhere?!

“O-Or what?” You’ve just managed to reply – albeit it’s a mutter, really. But of course he had to take this as an invitation to come closer. You’re being backed in to a corner near the entrance and somehow you haven’t just stormed out of there already like you usually did. No. You’re way too enthralled by his twinkling eyes and a smouldering gaze. The smirk playing up on his lips is just as dangerous as the rest of his demeanour. All too different of a reaction you had with Seokjin and you were getting annoyed with your heart at this point.

“Or,” He’s placing his free hand above on the wall behind you while his drink clad hand is lazily lifted up to his plush lips – all the while his eyes stay firmly locked with your own – taking a drink. Taking his time reeling you in. “I would spank you right in the middle of this living room. Don’t care who walks in. Your bitchy mouth needs a gag in it too.”

Are you dying? Is this how having a heart attack feels like? Because you might be having one. Your breath is caught in your throat and your brain can’t seem to send your lungs the signal to deflate and let the air out. Instead your hands have set themselves beside you on the wall and all snide remarks have seemingly flown out the window. Why was he so fucking hot?

More importantly – why was always reaching feverish temperatures with so much so as a few naughty words that left this devil’s mouth?

“Shut.. Shut up! Just because we’ve fucked once doesn’t mean I’m dying to have your dirty dick.”

“You didn’t seem to think it was dirty when you were crying because of it.” His teasing chuckle is back and that’s just enough for your nerves to ease and push him back. Thankfully you had because just then Jin’s loud laughter is filling your ears when the door opens and you’re jerking forwards to put as much distance between the two of you.

“Y/n! Hey.”

“Hi oppa!” You’re making sure to smile extra sweetly as soon as you notice none other than miss jenny trailing behind him. Did he come to his own house with her? You can hear Jimin gag behind you at your sickly sweet tone and you mentally note to yourself to kick him in the balls later for being an ass to you.

But for now all you could focus on was Jin’s toned arms – obviously not as toned as Jimin – in the slightly fitted shirt he wore and of course; the prettiest smile you’d seen on any man. Wow. How was this possible? Not to forget the perfect Jenny that was standing right besides him.

“I’m glad you came.” His smile is polite and you wonder if you should hug him as a greeting. You mean – he did kiss you last night. Maybe he’ll be cool with it?

But seems like the decision is already made for you when he’s placing his hand politely behind Jenny’s back to bring her forward from where she stood fiddling with her phone.

“Y/n, I’m sure you know Jenny.”

“Yup. Hello.” You just wave politely once more but you could see that she was very comfortable with herself while she watched your tight smile obviously trying to be genuine. But what made you more mad was that she also obviously did not see you as competition at all. And that infuriated you. Her smug smile when Jin has swiftly moved on to talk to Jimin while his hand continuing to stay at her back is confusing you even more.

Did he not have any interest in you at all? He’d barely said two words to you while he’d been all but shoving his tongue down your throat last night.

“Well feel free to grab food and drinks from the kitchen. I just have to talk to Jenny about something.” He’s smiling his stupidly polite smile again as he looks at you and Jimin.

“Y/n.” Oh thank god. You were almost about to pass out from humiliation if he had left without even saying more than just two words to you. Jin is whispering the next words so only you can hear. “I’ll be back in a bit to get you. Just stay here and mingle.”

“Okay but-”

“Thanks.” He’s ruffling your perfectly curled hair before leading Jenny further in to the house. You don’t even know the layout of the mansion to even assume if they’re going to his bedroom or anything.

“You look disappointed.” Jimin’s cheeky chuckle is all but bringing all the insults to the tip of your tongue. At least you were comfortable in this environment. It was familiar. Making fun of Jimin that is.

“I’m talking to you. So obviously.”

“Ouch. You’re really pissed huh?”

“No.” Your defensive reply is all he needs to burst out laughing while he walks towards the kitchen. And because you feel stupid just standing in the entrance you follow him – grumbling under your breath. There are people everywhere but the place is at least not crawling with them. This seems to be a more of an inner circle and you assume these are all people Jin is personally friends with. Plus, they look like seniors.

“Uh-huh, sure. If it makes you feel better – you’re way hotter than Jenny. In my opinion.” He’s looking at you like he’s consoling you or something.

“And who asked for your opinion?” You push away his arm, rolling your eyes at him. But you can’t deny the stupid butterflies that thrive at his stupid compliments!

“Admit it babe, you’re jealous of Jenny.” You snort at his matter of fact tone. Sure you were. Just a little but he didn’t know that for sure.

“Yeah right. She’s not the one he was making out with last night.” It’s nice to see Jimin with the sullen expression for once.

“Yeah well.” Jimin is clearing is throat after a few minutes of silence and you know you’ve won. He’s speechless for once. Instead, you just grab a drink for yourself and mouth ‘cheers’ his way with the victory smile on his face.

You’re just about to head outside before Jimin speaks again.

“Just be care y/n.” And this time, you’re the one who can’t think of what to say to that. Why was he so serious all of a sudden?

“What do you mean?” You can tell he’s instantly regretting what he’s said because he’s cursing under his breath as he turns away before looking at you again.

“What Jimin? Why are you being weird, weirdo?” He doesn’t say anything for another few minutes until you’re whacking his chest to snap him out of it.

“Ow! Fine! Stop giving me boo boos.” His pout if adorable sure but you just deadpan him until he’s rolling his eyes and finally elaborating. “Remember the cookies you brought?”

Your eyebrows are furrowing in confusion before you remember that you indeed took cookies over last week for Seokjin. “Yeah? What about them?” You gasp in horror.

“Did you eat them?!”

“Calm down witch. I wish I did. Ow! What now?” He’s rubbing over the area you’ve whacked him again – on the arm instead – to make him focus.

“Get to it already you rat.”

“Well if you must know,” he takes in a deep breath while keeping eye contact with you, “He threw them in the bin. That’s why I took you outside.”

“Okay yeah whatever.” This was bonkers. Why would you believe him? You’re about to turn around and try and find Jin before Jimin’s solid – and warm – grip on your shoulder is holding you back.

“I’m serious y/n. Didn’t you notice how quickly they were gone?” Well, yeah.

“I just assumed Tae ate some of them. He has a freakishly big mouth. Figuratively and literally too.” His eyes go wide as he nods.

“Agreed sister,” you give him a look at that but he just ignores you and continues, “But Seokjin really did throw them in the trash. I just took you outside before you noticed.”

Okay… you’re not sure how to feel about this. Pissed? Yeah you were. But why weren’t you feeling hurt as much as Jimin expected you to be? He was looking at you like you were going to break any second. But the truth of the matter was that you were just… pissed. Not hurt at all strangely. He did waste a perfectly good batch of cookies if what Jimin was saying was true. But whatever. He could be playing with you for all you knew. Besides they were just cookies. Not made of gold.

“So what?” You shrug it off, hoping to be casual about it and not show the irritation you were actually feeling if this was true.

“You’re not mad?”

“Nope.” A little. A lot if it was true. But Seokjin wasn’t like that so it was most likely not true.

“Really? That’s not fair!” And he’s pouting again.  “You’re about ready to murder me all the time and he gets a free pass?”

He’s having to yell at you because you’re just walking away to find Jin.

“Go be drunk or something Jimin. I gotta go!”

Damn this house was big. You expected it to be but not this big. It’s been at least fifteen minutes and you’re still roaming the house. The music is everywhere no matter where you go and you assume that the house has an inbuilt sound system. Every room looked like something right out of a home décor magazine.

Finally after a bit of wandering – you come across a hallway upstairs that you haven’t seen before. But this must be out of bounds though, right? It’s dimly lit and you can guess there must be where the bedrooms are and despite the itching in your feet to just see what’s the décor like in those rooms – even you’re not that much of a creep. Maybe just a little.

And just when you’re about to head downstairs you can hear two voices coming out of one of the rooms. Whoever it is must be coming out of the room now and you’re panicking. You needed to flee before you were caught being somewhere you probably weren’t supposed to. And you would have gone downstairs – really – if it wasn’t your brain recognizing the two voices to be distinctively sounding like Seokjin and, was it Jenny?

You’re tiptoeing down the stairs as quietly as you can before standing right beside them so it doesn’t seem anything more than you just leaning against the wall. The voices are hushed but they are coming closer to the railing of the stairs so you know they’re about to come downstairs. Why was Seokjin up there all alone with a girl of all people? And the girl being definitely not you? You mean, you weren’t reading too much in to it. You don’t think. He did invite you to his party like he really wanted to spend more time with you.

“Don’t worry,” Jenny’s giggle is breaking your train of thought and you’re paying more attention now to hear what the hushed voices are saying. “I’ll be there.”

Your blood is starting to boil with every sultry word that she whispers like a vixen! Okay you needed to calm yourself.

“You better be. My mother is on cloud nine knowing you’ll be there.” His mom? Were they family friends? Your heart is dropping slightly but you don’t want to get ahead of yourself.

“Don’t worry oppa.” She’s almost purring her words and you can tell they haven’t begun their descend down the stairs yet. “I’m excited to finally meet her too.”

“Okay good. Wear the dress I got you.” This definitely didn’t sound as innocent as you were hoping it to be. And you can’t even be mad or call this cheating because you weren’t exactly dating him. But you also didn’t just kiss random boys – not counting the ones you accidentally kissed after one too many drinks. So at least it meant something to you.

“Spying on hyung at his own house huh?” The familiar teasing voice is filling your ears just when  you can hear the two upstairs about to come down. Automatically, you’re turning around fast to put your mouth over Jimin’s loud as fuck voice because you didn’t trust him to not expose you in front of Seokjin.

“Would you lower your voice you rat!” Your hand is around his warm mouth and have to make yourself fight the feeling of Jimin’s wet tongue licking a stripe up your palm from the inside.

“So you admit you’re spying on him.” His voice is muffled and you cannot take him seriously when his eyes are turning in crescent moons because of his huge goofy ass grin. Ugh why was he adorable and infuriating all at once?

“I’m going to leave now.” Jenny’s voice is ringing in your ears once more and now you can clearly hear her heels coming down the stairs. And soon enough you’re pushing Jimin away just in time for the two figures to come in to your view. Unfortunately, they don’t notice you standing there at all because Jin is pulling Jenny close while her melodious little giggle makes you want to gag.

“Stay awhile,” Jin’s whinging like he’s her boyfriend who just wants to spend time with her a little longer and you think you’re going to be sick. “Please?” He’s tilting his head to the side while he looks deeply in to her big eyes. Exactly like he looked at you many times the day before.

You don’t realise you’ve just been staring at them interact – they obviously can’t see you but you can see half of their bodies from where you stood.

“Can you stop roughing me up. Jeez.” Jimin’s loud mouth is once again ruining things for you because Seokjin is pulling away from Jenny to walk all the way down the stairs.

“Jimin? Is that you?” However, Jin’s eyes are going wide when he notices you standing there too but he looks like he’s in no hurry to give an explanation to you. Not that you ask him for one but you’re sure your face looks a little bit betrayed. Because you felt it. How was he this friendly and flirty with Jenny when he’d literally been playing tug of war with your tongue just the night before? You thought Seokjin wasn’t like that?

“Oh,” He looks between you and Jimin – who looks like he wants to bolt out of there as he reads the vibe between you and Jin. Jenny seems unruffled and looks like she hasn’t a clue and you can guess she probably either doesn’t know about you and Jin or just doesn’t care.

Both very likely but finding out how much of a sleazy bastard Seokjin is turning out to be – anything was possible.

“How long… have you been standing here?” He doesn’t even address you specifically and you know that he wouldn’t give a shit if it was just Jimin standing here. But for some reason he does not want to address you in front of Jenny.

“Long enough.” You deadpan and Seokjin at least has the audacity to look sheepish while Jenny just waits for you to continue. But when you just continue to stare Seokjin down, she’s huffing and puffing before saying goodbye.

“Well, you guys have fun and chat,” again, only looking at Jimin, “I’ll be off. Bye sweetie.” She’s kissing Seokjin on the cheek before she leaves and you almost miss Jimin mouthing ‘oh shit’ when she finally goes.

It’s at least a minute or two after Jenny has left that Seokjin is finally saying something but you’re so furious that he played you like a fiddle that you don’t let him speak much. The whole scenario said enough and you weren’t that much of an oblivious idiot to believe whatever bullshit he was about to feed you.

“She’s just a friend.” He doesn’t even look particularly apologetic and you think you’ll be sick all over the nice shiny tiles of his home. He wastes so much of your time and doesn’t even look like he’s going to bother with the truth? Seokjin was more of an ass than you thought.

“Have fun with your ‘friend’ at dinner with your mother.” That’s enough for you to convey your anger because you probably growled that one out. You don’t know, everything was kind of blurring together when you were this angry. But thankfully, once again, Jimin’s helping you out at a party because he’s close enough for you to grab his hand and lead him and yourself away from Jin.

You just needed to get away before you squared up with Seokjin and you weren’t sure if he was above getting you thrown out of his party by his security.

“Uh where are we going?” Jimin’s confused and slightly nervous voice is asking you though he doesn’t stop you from dragging him through the endless crowds and out towards the backyard.

“Are you.. are you going to kill me?” His meek voice almost sounds too serious and amidst the rage that’s clouding your every judgement – you can’t help but laugh. Damn it. Not even a full five minutes alone with this rat and you’re already laughing.

Okay, maybe he was better than a rat. A mouse. Whatever.

“No I’m not. Though I’m angry enough to kill, for sure.”

“Hopefully not a human though, right?” you’ve finally come to a stop in the middle of Seokjin’s garden that had a freaking fountain in it. You sit beside it and stare at the water flowing from the little man-made waterfall.

“No,” pouting your lips you try to calm yourself down by running your hands through the cool water. “That’s illegal.”

When you look back at Jimin who’s just standing there watching you play with the water with his eyebrows furrowed, you shrug your shoulders in question.

“And morally wrong?” You shrug once more.

“Yeah that too I guess.” He’s laughing at your nonchalant response before he takes a seat beside you and dips his fingers in the water too. You’re not sure why you dragged him outside with you but it just seemed easier that way, you suppose.

A couple minutes pass and you still don’t say anything. Just remembering how much time you wasted on pining after Seokjin and that wasn’t even the real him. He always seemed so chivalrous and kind and gentle and just so… perfect. How did you get fooled? Just the thought of the missed opportunities at finding something real because your stupid idealistic self was going after the supposed ‘right’ guy makes you want to slap Seokjin and then yourself!

“You okay there?” Jimin’s voice is soft and you’re shaking your head in response. No point in hiding your obvious disappointment.

“I’m mad at me.” And you were. For once. “You don’t have to stay. I don’t know why I dragged you here.”

“I want to.” Jimin’s voice is soft and there isn’t even a hint of pity which makes you thankful to him. You’d just feel more embarrassed if he was staying with you out of pity. Not that you cared.

Ugh.

You did. It’s time to stop lying to yourself. You’d done that for years and look where it got you.

“Is something wrong with me?” You want to take back the words as soon as they leave your mouth. You would never ask these type of questions if you were so angry with yourself right now.

“Not at all.” Surprisingly – Jimin’s voice lacks any sort of playful or teasing tone and he sounds perfectly serious. Like he’s telling you facts and not just his own opinion. “Seokjin hyung is just a master at hiding his… adventures I guess.”

You furrow your eyebrows at his response but thankfully Jimin elaborates. “He’s just like me, Y/n.”

The unspoken ‘duh’ has you hanging your head in shame once again – feeling like a complete and utter idiot. Though Jimin is moving closer to you and soon you can feel cool hand touch your back as he rubs it over the span of it in soothing glides.

“I’m such an idiot.” The groans keep coming while you flick the water almost violently away from you. The anger seems to be a non-stop stream that’s flowing through you much like the fountain you had your hand in. But as soon as Jimin’s hand is moving towards your nape from the back – you’re relaxing almost instantly.

“You’re anything but an idiot Y/N. Seokjin is just an expert at hiding his man-whoring ways.” He shrugs when you look at him in question.

“He sleeps with exactly the same amount of people I sleep with. If not more. He really isn’t that different from me babe.” His eyes are apologetic but it still doesn’t feel like he’s pitying you or trying to make you feel better. Somehow, whatever Jimin says just doesn’t make you feel queasy or like he’s lying. Somehow you can just tell that he’s telling you the truth. Why wouldn’t he? Not like he liked you or anything. He only wants to get in your pants. Just like Seokjin. Ugh.

“How did I not see that before. He just seemed so… perfect!” Your hands are going up to cup your face in frustration at yourself.

“Because he’s a mastered the art of doing all sorts of shit and keeping it under wraps. His whole family is under scrutiny all the time and if he fucks up – he gets the boot. So don’t blame yourself for buying in to his ‘perfect’ act. He’s such as much of a player then me.”

“Yeah but,” you can’t help but sigh as you come to the realisation, “at least you don’t lie about it. You’re annoying as hell and sleep with anything that moves, sure. But at least I know that’s the real you. No surprises.” You shrug once more and you don’t even have to look his way to know he’s probably gasping like you’ve stabbed him or something.

But you want to smack his pretty face when he finally opens his mouth. “You seemed pretty surprised when you saw my dick though.”

And of course he’d ruin the moment. He’s clutching his arm when you smack him but at least he’s laughing this time. “What was that for?!”

“For being so gross.” Jimin is flicking some water at you from the fountain and you can’t help but giggle when the cool droplets hit you in the face.

“Stop!” When he doesn’t, you just opt for splashing him even harder and somehow – you’re both soaking each other as the little splashing escalates. You’re running around the fountain uncontrollably giggling as Jimin chases you while most of your sundress is soaked from the top.

“Can’t catch me!” But of course he would start to close the distance between you both just then. You squeal when he almost catches you but a big splash on his face has him jerking back to wipe his face.

“Stop!” Now he’s the one yelling at you while you continue to throw water in his direction – having the most fun since you’d arrived.

“Make me.” Your chuckle is playful and you just can’t stop laughing at his facial expressions that are over the top as always. When you’re finally calming down, you can see the way his shirt is clinging to his hard pecs as he pushes back the wet hair by running his hands through it. Suddenly, all laughter is dying in your throat and you can’t help the butterflies that are waking up as the atmosphere takes a turn.

Jimin has caught you staring at him shamelessly and his shit eating smirk is taking its place back on to his handsome face.

“Like what you see?” You try to play it off but he’s not having any of it while he stalks towards you.

“N-No. I’ve seen better.” If only you could keep your mouth shut but of course – disagreeing with Jimin almost came naturally. You don’t realise you’re walking backwards until your back hits a brick wall opposite the water fountain while Jimin continues to walk towards you.

“Always have something to say, don’t you?” He’s clicking his tongue pointedly while he shakes his head but his eyes never leave your own. You’re breathing hard like you’ve runa  marathon and it seems to only get worse the closer he gets. When his hands are resting besides your head, trapping you between his body – your chest is moving up and down rapidly like you can’t seem to breathe in enough air to sustain yourself.

Jimin’s eyes are hungry and very much like the way they were last week. He rakes them up and down your body and you can almost feel it. His gaze is searing and you’re almost buzzing because of how electrifying the air is. Is this how a true crush felt? Because you hadn’t felt any of this with Seokjin while everything was intensified tenfold with Jimin.

“You know how much I’ve thought about you since last week? You have any idea?”

You can’t move let alone speak so you just shake your head while watching his plump lips move. Jimin takes his bottom lip between his teeth as one of his hands slides down the wall and dives straight between your legs to cup your pussy over your underwear making you gasp. He’s being so bold and to the point and it’s just making you wetter.

“I haven’t been able to fuck a single girl after having a taste of this sweet cunt, y/n.” He’s growling out his words while his palm is digging in your clit making your back arch in to his chest, moaning his name.

“J-Jimin.”

“Yeah babe? Want me to stop?” His laugh is like stars twinkling when you shake your head even before he’s finished his sentence. “Fuck, you’re so wet. Did you get this wet for hyung, huh? Does he make your pussy as wet as I do?”

If you weren’t so turned on you would make fun of him and possibly yell at him for bringing up Jin but you’re so far gone that you can’t be bothered to beat around the bush. It’s hard to speak though when he’s grinding his palm on the length of your pussy so earnestly.

“I never- ah!- slept w-with him.” Jimin is cursing under his breath as he watches you tremble beneath his touch. You glance down to where his arm disappears under your sundress and the prominent bulge in his pants that’s just beneath it. His veiny arm between your legs is one of the hottest sights ever and you could most likely cum faster if you just kept watching the visuals.

“Good. Because he was never good enough for you baby. No one is.” But you are.

The words are at the tip of your tongue since being near an orgasm kind of makes you loose lipped but somehow – your stubborn brain is making you hold all these sentimental feelings inside. He looks almost pained for a few seconds when he says it but his almost enraged expression is returning when you’re palming over his erection through his pants. Though your hands are almost instantly ripped away from him while he hisses at you.

“Keep your slutty hands to yourself, y/n. You can touch me when I give you the permission to.” He’s words are spoken in an even, stone cold voice that’ sending a shiver down your spine. You’re moans are getting louder and louder as you feel the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter.

“That’s it baby,” he coos as his palm continues rolling against your ruined underwear that sticks to your core now, “cum nice and hard for me. Roll your hips.”

“J-Jimin! I’m gunna cum oh god.” Your nails are probably imprinting themselves on the skin of his biceps but you couldn’t careless when he looks like he might eat you alive. And you would let him.

Your stuttering continues as he brings down his other hand to palm at your breasts. When he pinches your nipple at the same time his palm is grinding particularly hard on your bundle of nerves – you cum with a shout.

“There you go babe. Soak my fucking hand. Fuck you’re dripping.” You’re still breathing hard but you can feel the fluid sliding down your thighs since your underwear was too soaked to soak up anymore moisture. Your cheeks are probably more flushed than Jimin’s and lips just as bitten red as his. But after the lusty haze has settled from your vision – it’s almost like you can’t bear to be away from his blood red lips anymore. So finally – you push forward and make the first move of the night and take Jimin’s lip hostage in a kiss. A sloppy, hurried and noisy kiss – sure. But it’s the best you’ve ever felt while kissing someone. And everything that you had envisioned happening with Seokjin – but had known wouldn’t happen to some extent – was taking place with Jimin.

Jimin who infuriated you, made fun of you, fought with you, annoyed the hell out of you. But was the only one who you didn’t have to be someone you were not to make sure he’d like you. Because he already did.

And maybe being smitten with Seokjin wasn’t so bad after all because if it hadn’t been for that – Jimin had probably never helped you and you’d never slept with him and got to know him the way you knew him now. Maybe you didn’t waste your time after all. You’ve lost track of time and how long you had been kissing Jimin. But of course – breathing is also a thing so you finally pull away while his lips trail wet kisses down the column of your throat.

“What’re you smiling about weirdo? Oh wait – is it the best orgasm you’ve ever had? Knew it.” He’s smiling smugly and you want to smack him across the head but you’re too content in this moment to hit him. Even if he would probably enjoyed it. Masochistic idiot.

“No you hoe. I’m just… happy.” His eyes are going wide momentarily.

“That’s good. We don’t have to do anything by the way.” His gaze is turning sheepish again as well as almost… disappointed.

But you want to ease his worries because you can finally see what’s been in front of you all along. So you cup his face and finally decide to be out with it. “I want to.”

His big eyes are most certainly surprised while your hands hold his supple face in between them. “I think… I’d much rather be with a demon like you than waste my time on someone who will never really notice the actual me.”

You can tell that Jimin hadn’t been expecting you to say that and you’re almost about to take everything back thinking that you’ve read the signals wrong and he isn’t actually in to you. But thankfully, Jimin is breaking out in the prettiest grin you’ve ever seen and you want to kiss his stupidly attractive mouth once again.

“I… I want to be with a demon like you too.” His smile is smug yet kind and loving at the same time. “Also, of course you would use the word ‘demon’ – effectively insulting me by the way – while processing your undying love for me.”

You’re shoving his chest as you snort at his reply. “As if! If anything I more so have feelings for your dick than you.” Of course you don’t fully mean that… maybe.

But he doesn’t seem to mind while he wags his eyebrows up and down like the fuck boy he is. Your fuck boy. “My magic stick is attached to me so therefore – you love me. I win.”

You can only watch him with a smile you can’t control while he holds you close to him. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that just because you just gave the second best orgasm of my life.”

Almost instantly – Jimin’s face is becoming so serious you’d think someone called him short. “When was the first best? Wait don’t tell me. No wait- tell me. Wait do-”

“Oh my god shut up you nut. It was you! Last week.” And he’s back to smiling like an idiot.

“Jimin! Where are we going.” He’s taking you through the crowd of people – upstairs to where Seokjin had been before. The naughty smile on his face as he pulls you in one of the rooms tells you all and you’re about to beat his ass.

“We can’t do that in here! Are you crazy?” When you look around the room you realise – it’s Seokjin’s bedroom.

“Can’t think of a better revenge babe. Let’s fuck on his sheets.” He’s nuzzling his face in your neck and if it wasn’t for his devilish tongue – you’d be making rash decisions right now.

“J-Jimin. W-What if people hear?” This doesn’t deter him though. In fact – he’s only just escalating things further as he holds you up so you can wrap your legs around his waist while he pushes up your sundress.

“Let them,” he growls while slipping your panties to the side, “Let them hear how good I fuck you baby.”

With a harsh push – he’s all the way in while the remaining few inches is sucked in my your convulsing pussy as it stretches to accommodate his girthy length. Fuck – Jimin had the perfect dick. It was even pretty!

“Jimin!” You know you’re being loud. You were always loud during sex. Which was one of the reasons this was especially bad but Jimin thought otherwise.

“Yeah baby. Scream my name so everyone knows how good I’m making you feel.” Your head has started to thump against the door that he’s pushed your body to. Slowly – it’s not just your head anymore but your whole body. Thumping to the rhythmic pulling and pushing of his impossibly hard cock inside you. The sweat is running down the sides of his temple while his back is being scratched up by your fingernails as you hold on for dear life.

His balls smack against your ass obscenely and you can’t help the gush of arousal that trickles out of you at the animalistic way Jimin looks at you. His teeth are clenched and he resembles a wolf almost as his intense eyes never waiver from your face that’s covered with tears. They run down your cheeks steadily because it just feels so fucking good.

Every single time he bottoms out it stings just enough to make everything a hundred times better. “I want to fuck you every day y/n. I can’t imagine living without this cunt. I can’t imagine living – Fuck! W-Without you.”

His own profession couldn’t have come at a worse time because you can barely take in a breath let alone respond properly. But his seemingly loving words hit your heart and pussy equally as your heartbeat speeds up and pussy squeezes around his pounding cock.

It’s like he’s not just physically fucking your pussy wide open but as well as your heart the walls around it. It’s the weirdest analogy you’ve ever thought of – in the middle of sex no less – but it comes naturally with Jimin.

And when he leans down to take a nipple in his mouth after pulling the top of your sundress beneath our breasts – you know it’s your end game.

“F-Fuck. Jimin I think I’m going to c-cum again.” Neither of you really care about the noise anymore. There was no point since the slamming of your body against the door as well as the continuous pornographic moans that left the both of you probably said it all. And when you’re finally cumming around Jimin’s pistoning cock – you’re full on sobbing from all the intense feelings. You’ve never felt anything like this before and you’d had sex before.

Maybe it was because of the newfound feelings you had for Jimin after so long of feeling… nothing. Whatever it was – it made everything ten times better and you never wanted it to stop.

“Baby I’m g-gunna cum. W-Where d-do you-”

“My face.” The look on Jimin’s face as you stare right in to his eyes with determination that even surprises you – is probably going to be a favourite of yours. He doesn’t ask any more questions and instead letting down your trembling body that feels like jello. You’re falling to the ground almost instantly and waste no time in taking his blood filled head that looks almost painfully swollen – in your mouth.

“Fuck yeah. Just like that. Oh god, y/n.” He’s whining. Park Jimin is actually whining and you don’t want him to stop. His hands are threading in your hair as you bob your head up and down while massaging the length that hasn’t pushed in – blame your gag reflex. It doesn’t take long for him to grab your hair tight enough to sting a little as he fucks your mouth to his own release. As soon as you feel the first dribble of the saltiness on your tongue – you’re pulling away from him just in time for the spurts of his semen to spray all over your face. Almost going in your eyes – damn.

Jimin is breathing hard for a solid few minutes – face looking fucked out while a sated smile slowly appears. He’s falling on the bed after he pulls you up and on top of his chest – face dripping with cum and all.

“You almost hit my eye you nut.” Jimin is laughing uncontrollably when you’re trying to be mad at him and it’s making you even more mad!

“What? What’s so funny.”

“I’m a nut who just nutted on your face.” He’s not even finished with his sentence before he’s breaking out in fits of loud laughter again while you just smack him across the chest. But you can’t help but laugh a little. Your choice was words kind of dug your own grave so you let it slide.

“So… can I call you my girlfriend now?” He’s turning you to face him as he wipes his cup off your face and then slips his soaked fingers in your mouth as you moan.

“Y-Yeah.” His eyes have become hazy again and you’re both just about to kiss again until the door bangs loudly.

“JIMIN DON’T DO IT. YOU LOVE Y/N! BRO DON’T FUCK WHOEVER YOU’RE DOING. HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

“Oh boy.” You can’t even breathe from how hard you’re laughing at Taehyung’s screams from outside the door while Jimin is getting up to pull on his jeans. “let me uh,” he’s scratching the back of his head as he gestures towards the door.

“Uh huh.” Taehyung continues to slam his fists against the door while Jimin finally cracks open the door to yell at him. “Shut the fuck up you asscrack! I’m with y/n.”

“Oh. Way to go budd-” And Jimin has shut the door in his face.

“Sorry about that.” You just take his lips in a kiss as the smile stays on your lips at Taehyung’s words.

“He’s sweet.” Maybe he wasn’t so bad for Sana after all.