#“dude” is gender neutral in this specific instance

[corgiteatime]

Not gonna lie. It is extremely funny that if Astarion bites either Karlach or Gale, he basically yells, "Dude what the fuck is wrong with you?!" in the most upset voice, as if it's their fault he is currently on fire/poisoned.

[satyricplotter]

NSFW Alphabet — Dick Grayson, Jason Todd and Tim Drake

Be warned, I wrote this for myself but it got so long I was like, I gotta publish this, so a lot of the language is raunchy and joking. It's not polished whatsoever. It is also very fitted to my tastes, which isn't necessarily what I'd do for a story. Use of the second person, reader as gender neutral as I could, but I refer to a variety of scenarios with different genitalia.

WC: 6.7k

Triggers and tags discussed or mentioned: body image, biting, breeding, dubcon, noncon, cnc, mutual noncon, sexual assault (as a different category and a reference to Dick's canon) somnophilia, breath play, watersports, scat, blood, bondage, BDSM in general, pegging (implied), dildos, vibrators, toys in general, sensory deprivation, crying, crossdressing, porn, hentai, anal, PIV, cunnilingus, whatever the proper term for sucking dick is, cum, demeaning terms (cum dump, specifically), fingering, masturbation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, age play, pregnancy and birth control, thigh fucking, frottage, edging, cumming in pants... maybe more. I am tired of listing things. Simply beware.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Dick: somehow I don't think he has much time for aftercare. To me this dude always seems a little on the go and distracted by other things. Like, half the sex you have with him is quickies where upon his departure you gotta tidy yourself up, or they're hours long affairs with few breaks to think about moving. In these latter instances, he takes a long, long time to stand up and get moving after you're done. I think he's always secretly waiting for another last round even when it's clear you're both tapped out. He stays in bed and cuddles, uncaring for the drying substances on either of you. Most often he just kisses you, slow and tender, as he holds you. Eventually you gotta kick him out of bed and clean yourself up and then he's rushing to help you.

Jason: my man is methodical. This is His Job and he has His Way to do it. He keeps his bed crisp, towels at hand, water nearby etc etc. He's always the one to wipe you down, straighten you up if there's still clothes involved. You always whine you wanna cuddle a bit and he's like no. You'll get an UTI. Go pee. We'll cuddle after. And you shuffle sadly to the bathroom. The sheets are new when you come back. He dislikes being rushed and not being able to tidy, so you gotta be very strategic when you know you won't end up in bed.

Tim: Tim's a baby. Tim's the one you gotta clean up, the one you gotta lay down and tell him to stay put. He's very bad with being in the moment if he's got something else going on, so you gotta keep all electronics away from him. Mostly you gather him in your arms and run his fingers through his hair, while he absently traces circles on your skin, and then nods off eventually.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Dick: I think Dick really likes his forearms! A dark horse, of course, considering the stellar butt, but that seems to be a little of a sour point. I think he loves his figure in general, and the graceful line of it. For his partners, I'm thinking the waist to hip area—the tummy essentially, but also the lower back. He loooves to sling an arm around your waist and squeeze, loves to nip at the lower belly, loves a good pinch. He just likes grabbing. The sides of your thighs are always marked with his fingers.

Jason: man's an ass guy. He loves to watch that shit bounce. You can't miss with the bending over. He's behind you immediately, a hand on your hip like hey... As for himself, genuinely I think he likes his hands. They've gone through a lot. You can tell they're pretty banged up. But he's a maker, a fiddler—he builds his gadgets, he pulls the trigger. He's so into precision, I think he appreciates them a lot for the tools they can be. And his fingers pumping in and out of you are never a bad sight.

Tim: He's a cop out and would say brain. He likes his eyes best, I think. He doesn't strike me as the type of man who fixates on any part of his body but rather takes it in as a whole, and as such finds it difficult to like, separate it into pieces unless it's for a specific purpose. Oh, maybe his calves. They're nicely shaped. But his eyes are very pretty and he knows they're charming. As for you, he likes tits (big, small, pecs, etc). Just the chest area in general. Big fan of a nipple. Will suck and bite and twist until you squirm. If you're not sensitive, you simply haven't met him. He'll pavlov your nipples to harden upon seeing him and then smile evilly when you complain. A low cut anything is a direct challenge and he will take it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Dick: nothing will stop this man from coming inside eventually. He'll wear you down talking about how good it will feel to fill you up, or you will eventually come to beg him for it and he'll take the opportunity with no complaint. If you can get pregnant, keep that birth control schedule TIGHT. Nothing he loves more than watching cum dribble out of you. Loves to stuff you with it, loves to rub it over your entrance, loves to watch it squelch as he goes back in to pump you full of more.

Jason: actually very normal about it. He doesn't believe in pulling out, so he wears a condom and disposes of it safely. He does love to cum on your face. That's very much a thing. It's a relatively safe thing to do, and he likes it a lot when you try to catch it all with your mouth but it ends up dripping off your cheek. When your eyelashes are sticky with it—ooh. He knows it hurts if it gets on your eyes, and he apologizes while he wipes it off, but he's already semi hard again so you can't quite believe him.

Tim: if he's topping, he's pretty normal about it. Doesn't feel any type of way about his own cum, though he kinda likes it when you mix it with your own and feed it to him, but that's mostly because he loves your fingers in his mouth. If you're topping (and if you can cum from that inside him), he's suddenly the nation's number one cump dump. Stuff my man up. He can take it. Ooh, he wants to take it. He really, really wants you to blow a load inside him. A lot of the times, it's the feeling of being filled up that has him coming himself.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Dick: he's, like, very into somno, but he hates to bring it up first. The thing with Dick is that he's so good at denying himself things he doesn't care about but the minute he really, really wants something, he struggles real hard not to go get it. And he really wants that pussy (gn). He's the king of guilty fucking. I honestly think he likes being a little ashamed of what he's doing, like it just... Brings flavour to the table. But he's an Upstanding Citizen so while he looks at your ass while you're asleep and imagines what it'd be like if he could just roll your pants down a little and rub the head of his dick against your entrance, he will not speak a word until you bring it up or you find him jerking off over you at the thought of it.

Jason: easiest man to get to sub for you. Doesn't look like it, doesn't wanna admit it, but you get him at the right moment? Oooh baby. He's so easy to unravel, blushing to the tips of his ears and wet all over. You can literally do whatever you like with him in that state. He bounces off your cock (gn) so pretty, though he doesn't enjoy bottoming regularly.

Tim: mfing stalker. He takes pictures of you all the fucking time. You don't know the half of it. And he jacks off to the weirdest shit because it's not so much about how you look in that picture, but the idea of your innocence being corrupted (so corny) (you'd look at it and be like, tim, I can take nudes, you know, you don't have to masturbate to a blurry panty shot taken under the dinner table, you can't even see shit).

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Dick: this is dick grayson we're talking about. Be real. He's been around. He knows his way around the human (and alien, shoutout to my baby Kori) body. Nine out of ten times, he's the most experienced person in the relationship. And not only does he know what he's doing , he's good at it.

Jason: there's about three universes or so where Jason's not a virgin when he meets you. The rest of them my boy's simply too fucked up and/or busy for love, so he just... Doesn't. It doesn't seem to me like having sex was a priority to him, and while I think he regularly gets propositioned, he's the type of dude that just blinks at you until you slink away in shame, so he simply doesn't get laid until he's in a relationship. At most he's fucked two people before he fucks you.

Tim: this is dick grayson 2.0. he pulled steph, he pulled kon, he pulled bernard. He has by far the widest breadth of knowledge about sex, although most of it doesn't come from first hand experience. He hasn't had that much freaky sex, but he knows plenty about it. He's very adventurous.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Dick: oh, eugh, this man think you're a contortionist. He thinks you guys are equals. It doesn't matter how much you tell him he's far more flexible than you, he loves twisting you up into the weirdest positions in the book, and you know what? He's right. You do feel him so much more with your leg up in space and the other one around his ankle.

Jason: doggy. Again, my man loves to watch it jiggle.

Tim: he loves being ridden. Just infatuated with the sight of his cock leaving and breaching your entrance, and your thighs quivering, and how it all gets so wet. I think he'd be more partial to the cowgirl/boy than the reverse bc tits, but yk. Loves to watch you go.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Dick: He's sooooo into getting a laugh out of you with a stupid joke so he can ram into you and watch it catch on your throat. Thinks it's grand. He's the goofiest of them all, but he likes to make you laugh, and doesn't entertain your attempts to be funny. There's only one clown in this bed ☝️ So annoying.

Jason: he can be giggly at the beginning, like laughing into your mouth, but once he gets going, he's pretty serious about it. Not withdrawn, but he doesn't want to joke or, like, have a conversation. He's just laser focused on getting you both off.

Tim: he's alright on the jokes, doesn't particularly bring it to the bedroom. He's a little snappy, but not keen on super goofing around? Rather, I think you'd wanna make him laugh, just to get him to relax, and he'd roll his eyes and scoff but smirk a little. (I'm rlly picturing this with kon rn lmao)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Dick: he's got himself trimmed and pretty! I think he just cares about looking good. Not his main concern in life, but, you know.

Jason: he's kinda got to groom himself bc I headcanon that the pit let him some after effects so his nails and hair grows really fast. He doesn't like it, finds it a real chore, but it's like a real bush if he lets it go untamed. And he does it himself, of course.

Tim: I don't think Tim concerns himself much with that, but I also don't think he really needs it. He's the type not to grow that much hair anyway.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Dick: he is so romantic. He's the type to whisper things he doesn't mean, not because he's trying to gaslight you into thinking he has feelings, but because he gets caught up in the heat of the moment and also believes those things should be said. He's soft and coaxing, even when he gets mean, and he's very into small gestures in the sense that he holds your hand when you're going to come, he presses a kiss to your temple. Just loving, I guess, even if he doesn't, like, love you.

Jason: he is unbelievably, unbearably intense. You will not be able to shake him off, emotionally speaking. Even when he's trying not to be intense, he can't help it. There is always so much weight and deliberation to his touch. Under his fingers, you feel the skin of your body bloom with heat. And the eyes. Never stops looking. So sharp and heady. You can't look at him for you, but he forces you to look into his eyes when you're about to come, grabs your chin if you don't wanna.

Tim: it depends on how he feels about you. If it's casual sex, he is very casual about it. He's not one to make promises if they can be used against him lol but if he likes you... You can see the saw trap plans he's concocting in his mind to never get you off his dick again just coming alive in his eyes.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Dick: My take is that dick is so funny about this because he so absurdly prefers coming inside you or fucking your thighs or your tits that whenever he can't and has to resort to jacking off, he's kind of churlish about it? Like right at the beginning when he's just starting, you'd just see him pouting with a hand caressing his shaft almost disinterestedly. He's so funny. Then he gets going and comes and is like oh that was a nice experience actually.

Jason: When he begins to jack off while thinking about you, he's ashamed about it for the longest time. It's not the act itself that brings him embarrassment, but the fact that he used to do it kind of perfunctorily, like just... body upkeep, or whatever. A little impatient with it even, just to get it over with. And he didn't think about anyone in particular, just flashes of the stuff he was supposed to think about. Then one day, after he meets you, he's just going at it as usual and the image of you pops into his head. And he can't stop thinking about it. The question of what you look like, how you'd feel under his hands, how you'd sound—it consumes him. When he thinks about you looking at him slouched over his couch, smiling at him and kneeling between his legs, your eyes fixed on him as you offer to help and take him into your mouth—oof. He's never come so much in his life.

Tim: he is so so hot about it. He doesn't think about it that much and is the type to neglect his dick for ages until he has free time and suddenly he has to unleash two weeks worth of cum upon you. So he starts fisting his dick, shuddering at the feeling of finally getting some release, and thinks, I should share this, and starts recording, but because he is evil, he doesn't let you see. He places the phone on his desk (because he's STILL working, he just couldn't hold it any longer), and begins jacking off under his shirt. So you only see his flushed cheeks, the hair covering his eyes, and the way the wet spot on the fabric grows larger and larger as he goes. Near the end that thing's so transparent and sticky you can almost see the angry red head every time it pushes against the fabric—and then he splutters against the fabric with a cry of your name and doesn't even let it dry before he winks at the camera and cuts the video, just as he's going to lift the shirt. Evil.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dick: well, I already said somno and breeding (I don't think he's into it for the children, like, seriously. Like if you can get pregnant and do, it's not going to be a nice surprise. He'll ride it out! But he's got commitment issues.) And thigh fucking. He's unbearable about it, particularly if you're wearing anything that gives him easy access.

Jason: My good honest man. He likes sense deprivation, I think, but he likes it being done to him. He's almost never not being in charge, however, so it doesn't come up often. If almost like a birthday special to him. He's also very into frottage, but I don't know if that counts as a kink? He likes coming in his pants a few times before the real deal.

Tim: is this a kink? He loves to make you cry. He just really likes bullying you to the point you're bawling. You can fuss and kick all you want, and it just turns him on, because the minute he removes himself, you're whining to have him again. I think that's his favourite way to make you cry, just to edge you unendingly until you're sobbing for him. He also likes age play, but he likes to play the younger part. I don't think quite mommy/daddy stuff (depends on the reader), but a bit of an emphasis on the age gap (think the blurry noona/hyung area in korean, when employed sexually. The terms are not translatable but that's the spirit of it).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Dick: everywhere. Does not discriminate. Inside the house, I think he likes bothering you when you're chilling in the couch. If your lying down there, he'll starts running up a hand between your thighs and he'll stop if you can't carry on the conversation. Outside, I think anywhere that is mildly risky—possibly the park? Kinda loves shoving you between trees and eating you out, or fingering you. When he comes onto you outside, it's mostly to get you to come so you have to hang out there, all sticky, thinking of him. He gets really thrilled by you running out of patience and pulling him out of whatever situation you're in just so you can go home and fuck. Sometimes you don't even make it home. You "force" him to fuck in a bathroom or in the car — closest relatively enclosed space you can find. He really enjoys those releases.

Jason: the bed. Give my boy his space and his nightstands! But outside that, no joke, the kitchen. It's more often than not his kitchen rather than yours, so he's there most often and it's where you find him and put your hands on him. Also god forbid you take anything out of the oven. He just shows up, takes it from your hands, presses you against the counter.

Tim: no joke loves to have you suck him off underneath his desk. He thinks it's funny when you bang your head against the top lmao but he also just likes to see you cramped into a tiny space and all over him.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Dick: Hear me out. He likes implied corruption masked as salvation. That sounds dramatic: what he likes is the tension between helping you and succumbing to his own desires. He is very often the more knowledgeable, powerful, etc party, he almost always has some advantage over you, and he likes struggling against the feeling of giving you what you want and thereby taking advantage of you. It's a weird, false dichotomy, but he likes playing the hero a lot, and that makes him feel sometimes like what he wants is selfish, which means he tends to be secretive and manipulative in order to get it, and he winds up doing stuff that is suspicious and much closer to taking advantage of you than just being upfront would've been. And he unfortunately really enjoys those times. I associate him a lot with the "I can't help myself from doing this" sentiment. So to answer the question lol, when you look particularly put together and he gets to mess it up, or when you look at him with big, round eyes, or when you look really fuckable and are not aware of it, he really likes that.

Jason: He's a slow goer. You have to seduce him. He likes the motion of that, likes having you come onto him, likes it when you're flirty and a little risqué just for his benefit. Likes when you're self assured, and when you're a little mean with him. He could watch you forever, but to really make him spring into action, you gotta tell him how badly you need him. That'll bring him to your side in a minute.

Tim: milfs. No joke. I think he's pretty attracted to cheery people he can make fun of. Oh, he really likes riling you up. That shit gets him fired up in a second. You're arguing with him and he's got to adjust in his pants, and he won't go down without a fight. He really, really likes bullying you lol He thinks it's so hot when you're annoyed

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Dick: no watersports/scat/blood (vampire universe exempt), and so on and so forth. It's a bit silly that he gets grossed out by it when he's so into cum, but, you know. Another thing is, he can't really be demeaning. It's not that he doesn't want to, but it never... hits? Like, he's unauthentic about it, in a way, and he's much better at praise. So it's not that he won't do it, but that it's a little mid lol

Jason: I don't think he can do CNC. Even if you really wanna, he just can't play the part without going limp. It's not in him to do that to you. He can't bear to hear you plead with him over that, it makes him feel gross and uncomfortable. He'll talk bad to you if you wanna, though.

Tim: breath play. He doesn't like the feeling of his airways being cut off even when he's at his most mindless, it always kickstarts his survival mode, and he can't choke you either because he doesn't trust himself to stop.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Dick: my good man #1 pussy (gn) eater in the house. He will be there hours. His poor cock will weep unendingly and he doesn't give a single fuck. Matter of fact, that first load after he finally slides into you? Best part of the job. Would not like it half as much without the various orgasms he drew out of you. And he's good at it, obviously. Practiced. I think he's also a decent cock sucker (what an image), but he's way more practiced with a pussy.

Jason: he also likes giving more than receiving, but he is soooooo hot when he lets you suck him off. It's the way he can barely hold back, how he falls apart in your mouth. The way his hands fist your hair despite himself, the way he weighs on your tongue. You have to beg him to let you suck him off first, but christ, if it ain't a gift when he acquiesces.

Tim: receiving, I think. I love to think about him sucking a dick, though. Very pretty. But in general, I think he prefers to be sucked off rather than being the one to give. He's fine at it! And he's not one to shy away from it if you wanna, or offer it when in the mood, but he thinks he's better with his fingers anyway, and he wants his mouth free for your nipples.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Dick: he tends to go more for the slow and sensual. It's part of the romantic vein of his style. He gets really close to you. He is also evil and very rarely loses control of himself, so he will fuck you however he wants, not how you beg him to, and because he's got so much experience, he usually has the better idea of how to get you to come.

Jason: i love him. Can't go slow. Okay, technically, he can, but he's got to work really hard at it. He just likes being inside you so much, he slips into that excitement too easily. His way of fucking is very bruising, very felt, much like his feelings. And again. My man loves to watch it jiggle.

Tim: he's the one man who will listen to how you want it. Mostly because he likes being ridden so you're setting the pace. He usually goes for slower rhythms, though, and if he's toying with you, he goes excruciatingly slow. Also knows to speed up exactly when your patience is about to snap.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Dick: again, half the sex he has is quickies so yeah, he likes them lol. I do think they appeal to him as an expression of unbridled want, in the sense of we want each other so much we have no time to savour one another and we still can't help ourselves from having a fleeting taste.

Jason: he dislikes not having time and space to do everything he wants to do, so he is mostly opposed to them. And he is very good at waiting, though the longer he waits, the longer you end up spending in the bedroom. He's also pretty big so he wants to have the room, time wise, to prep you to take him so the slide is easy and pleasurable for you, and the quickies don't afford him the space for that. He'll do it if you come to him real wet, though.

Tim: he thinks they're fun but he's very bad at them in the sense that once he starts doing you, he is very disgruntled that he has to stop. And he always fucking forgets it so he needles you to let him stick the tip in real quick, c'mon, just five minutes and we're done, and then you're having to bite down on his shoulder to pry him away from you before whoever you're waiting for comes in. And he likes the biting, so it's 50/50 whether he actually comes off.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Dick: yep. He's a little more conservative with what he's willing to try, and he doesn't like everything or want to implement it regularly, but he's very open to at least trying it ou. He doesn't come up with a lot of stuff himself, and he doesn't spend time researching on his own, but he'll see something interesting and bring it up next time if he decides he likes it enough to play out.

Jason: Jason has... categories. He's very intuitive when it comes to sex. He kind of already knows what he likes and can go off that knowledge to predict what he will like or not. And he's good at making modifications on things he finds uninteresting to better suit his needs, if you still wanna try. He doesn't like roleplaying in general, for example, but he will pretend you're both strangers so you can pick him up at the bar. Likes bringing you to the bathroom stalls and fucking you there.

Tim: oh yeah. He reads a lot. He's very curious. He'll go on the internet and read manuals, read reviews, take tests, etc. He's also much more likely to fixate on a certain kink for a period of time, or to genuinely incorporate it to his regular sexual life.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Dick: mr. first robin have been a vigilante since i was nine, have never not exercised, etc etc. Yeah. He ain't stopping.

Jason: the fucking pit. He keeps dying and coming back and it's like they pump more cum in his balls every time. Enough said.

Tim: see mr. grayson. I don't know how the spleen affects him, but I doubt he lets it hold him back. He will stop you after a while if you're topping tho. Doesn't like to be sore much. Which doesn't mean he'll stop altogether, you know, he still has a dick.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Dick: he hates your dildo. He's horribly, terribly jealous of it. At first he'd use it to tease you, but then he liked you for real and that thing became his sworn enemy. He despises the fact that he's away so much you have to resort to using it, basically, so it'll always kind of have a place in your bed. He resent a vibrator even more. It's super fucking funny to me. He's game for everything else that doesn't fuck you tho.

Jason: Jay likes gadgets for their ingenuity but I don't really see them coming up too often. A few restraints, blindfolds, maybe a cock ring? He'd like them better if you used some on him rather than him using them on you. He prefers to do the work with his hands and mouth and cock. Good honest work

Tim: I think Tim's game on toys for either participant. He'll make you watch him fuck himself onto a tentacle-shaped dildo, if that's something you're into, and he won't let you touch him. He's a terror with a vibrator, though, particularly if you have a clit? Dude. A remote operated vibe. Anal plugs with tails attached. A fucking machine? Get away from that man. When I say saw trap, I mean it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Dick: horrible. He is awful. Worst of all because he's also so very sweet, and tender, and he plays the fool to lower your guard, and then you're lying there, gasping around his cock for the umpteenth time because he will not let you come yet and nothing you say breaks his nerve, and he just. taunts you. He's also soooooo into walking around looking delectable and playing dumb about it. Sure, man.

Jason: this one is on me, but I love a reader who's just off-handedly disrespectful to him. I always pair him with the brats lol I think he handles that well, by which I mean he strips it down to bone raw frankness which is heady and intimidating (metaphorically, I mean, but also strips down as in naked, I guess). He's quippy, also, as a general rule, but that's two way banter so I don't count it.

Tim: horrible part 2. See: loves to make you cry. See: Loves using toys on you. See: loves torturing you. His nudes are not even explicit, they're just suggestive, but you know intimately what he looks like, so the mere suggestion is enough to drive you mad. And then his fascination with you is never ending. It's a cocktail for great and tortuous diversion.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Dick: soooo talkative this man will not shut up. You're like, my man, you've been speaking for two hours straight, doesn't your throat need any lubrication? And he's like, you're right and swallows when you come. He's a moaner, I think, but not any louder than average. Will play it up if he sees the neighbour eyeing you in the hallway tho lol

Jason: Grunts and gasps and overall very throaty. He murmurs a lot of stuff into your skin. He's not loud, but his voice is a spear right down your groin. He likes speaking against your ear and sometimes it's all you hear. If you top him, and with some very precise loosening, you can get him moaning so so pretty, but it's pretty rare.

Tim: bitch has the most obscene little whimpers. It activates apex predator instinct on you immediately, like a switch being flipped. It's impossible not to bite him when he starts giving the short, breathy moans. Sounds so needy, and when he gets like that, he can barely string a sentence together, which is just mind blowing considering who he is.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Dick: I think Dick has a COMPLICATED relationship with his body. Perhaps it's me projecting a little because I cannot imagine being such a beautiful man and being able to cope with it. First vector to the issue is the fact that this man knows his body from the tip of his toes to the last strand of hair on his head. He is much more in touch with every muscle in his body than the vaaaast majority lf the world, and he has been so since very early in his life. You know that quote from Ursula K. Le Guin, I think, about how dogs don't really conceptualise their size, and cats are the complete opposite, they know exactly where they begin and end and that's why they seem like water sometimes? And then she says dancers also know exactly what they look like, because what they look like is what they do. And that's exactly him, as an acrobat and as a vigilante both. And though he doesn't care much for it, he also knows exactly how well he is regarded for possessing the body that he does. It is flattering, yes, but it is objectifying also. There's not so much the worry that people won't look any deeper than his looks because well, most of the time he doesn't want them to look, and also his loved ones regularly bypass his handsomeness and treat him as a person, so he knows he can live beyond that. Then there is the matter of his continued sexual assault at the hands of Catalina, and the subsequent objectification she subjected him to for the weeks following that first time at the rooftop, which would irrevocably change his relationship to his body. I don't think she ruins it for him, but he does develop, like, a very deep awareness of the power he holds and how easily that can be taken away. There's a lot of deliberation behind his every move, and when he cannot put that much thought into his actions, he freaks. It's also kinda why I headcanon him being so enthralled by so many dub-conish situations, I think it provides him with a playground in which he can explore the extents of his desires and what acting on them means while acknowledging the harm they may create, thus liberating him from the pressure of the worry or the not engaging altogether. I think an instance of mutual non consent (or plain noncon of you, but I don't think most versions of him have it in them) would absolutely obliterate him, and do a lot of bad to his psyche in a way Jay and Tim could withstand much better. He'd think it a moral failure, in a way the other two could resolve, but he'd never forgive himself. It's a point of no return, for Grayson.

Jason: he finds porn really distasteful. He would honest to god rather pay to watch two people go at it than look at a film. He just can't appreciate it for what it is—the stories are corny, the dialogue is cringe, etc etc. I genuinely think my man is on the aspec to some level. He's got a healthy libido, he likes having sex, but it's very person specific. I suppose I'd say demisexual, but I do think he can have casual sex but it's a VERY rare thing for him to feel sexual attraction like that right from the get go.

Tim: he enjoys cross dressing, but he won't go out like that. It's a very personal thing, to him. He strikes me as a dabbler in genderfluidity. If there's something there, he doesn't really care to examine it. He's good at being a man and he's comfortable with it, too, so there's that. But with you, he can just try it out. Of course it's fun to fuck you with a skirt on, but it's not a sex-based thing. And, unrelated but he watches hentai unironically because man's a weeb.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I don't rlly understand this question sbhdhd all those suits are skin tight I think you can tell. I assume this is about cock size cuz we all know Dick's got an ass and Jason's vice president of the perfect titties club with nic coughlan so.

Dick: I think he's a little bigger than usual but nothing that'd give you pause. Well, maybe a little. It's enough to think "that's just unfair" but not to be appalled. Very pretty. Leans slightly to the left. It's got some heft to it, but I wouldn't comment on its girth, and it's very expressive (shshdj?). It twitches a lot, is what I mean.

Jason: fat. So so fat. Fat, heavy, and uncut. Coupled with his full bush—instantly mouthwatering. This one does make you blink a couple times in astonishment. The type that makes you say I don't know if I can't take this but by god, I'm gonna try. He probably has to prep you a decent amount before you can both be comfortable with him inside you. It really fills you up, though and the stretch is craaaazy. Also good balls.

Tim: perfectly average length, longer than it is girthy. Oddly straight. Stupidly pink. Rosy as fuck. Looks like he paid for someone to do his blush this morning, etc. Circumcised. The head is perfect, you always fall for it when he asks you to let him put in just the tip because you like it so much.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Dick: high, like, a bit of a concern type of high. The thing with him is you get him started and you both got time? That's your day. Good fucking luck getting out of there. And then he's the sort of man that can't quite keep his hands to himself also, so it spirals pretty fast because it's hard not to want him when you know he's good and tasty and ready for you.

Jason: Pretty normal. He will be the one to say no, let's just cuddle a couple of times. I think he likes the moment of non-sexual affection a bit more, though they are not in competition. He's got a healthy libido and a fuckton of stamina, so it may seem like a lot at times. He'll fall hook line and sinker every time you set out to seduce him, but he'll drag out the start a lot. He's a fan of foreplay anyway.

Tim: Tim can go weeks without having sex if he's got something to be absorbed in. He'll forgo having sex if necessary, as well, even though he likes it lots. It's kind of how like people forget to eat or drink while they're working and then when they look up and realize they haven't eaten since breakfast and it's 8pm they're ravenous. That's Tim. He will blink and the onslaught of pent up horniness will hit him, and he's like, oh I gotta fuck you for several days straight now. You kinda have to needle him to fuck otherwise if he's got a project going on, and he always stops a moment to get you bouncing on his lap, but you're done and he goes right back to work. When he's got free time, he's such a damn distraction, though. God forbid you don't have any time for him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Dick: Depends on how tired he's feeling. He usually really refuses to go and its kinda cute seeing him fight with himself when his eyelids are dropping and he's barely kissing you anymore

Jason: he stays awake waaaay past you, likes to watch you as you sleep against him or beside him

Tim: very, but again, you gotta cradle him and lull him

[euniexenoblade]

hey someone i follow has been posting stuff about transadrophobia/transmisandry and i get that the concept itself is wrong due to the nature of intersecting opression but there were some valid points made. for example how trans men are treated as neither men nor women depending on the context, such as in the case of male on male violence where they are seen as valid targets but then denied due to percived femininity. (there was some other stuff but i cant recall it right now)

do you have any advice (other than just to block them). im bad at nuanced analysis and could use some help. i want to be able to understand if what was being described was regular transphobia or an actual unique form of opression

-a transfem confused about the current situation

(p.s. sorry if this is impossible to read im quite stressed as this person is one of my favourite users and i want to have a nuanced perspective of the topic)

"how trans men are treated as neither men or women" is literally ripped right out of literature about transmisogyny. Trans women are seen as a lesser other that is neither men or women. Like, if they want to talk about that point fine but it's literally a concept that's existed and talked about for trans women for over a decade. So that would at least be "transphobia" and not "transandrophobia," because it's not remotely specific to their experience.

I'm not getting into a point by point with this, cuz I don't want to be involved in this stuff. But transandrophobia was coined by a dude who literally talked about getting off to lesbians being correctively raped and consistently was very lesbophobic. Nothorses cites literal terfs in his renditions of how "baeddels ruined the LGBT" (baeddels never had a strong following a died out years ago, the idea baeddels still exist is bullshit perpetuated by transphobes/transmisogynists/kiwifarms esque types, it's the mean bad tranny Boogeyman ("what do you mean Boogeyman is misgendering??? It's gender neutral!")).

At the end of the day, transandrophobia shit is terf propaganda with a few instances of real actual transphobia transmascs experience sprinkled in. I don't care about these dudes talking about their experiences, I honestly kinda don't care even if they have a specific term for it, but "transmisandry" was primarily used by racist mras and "transandrophobia" is a terf ideology.

These people are just talking about transphobia. They want some special term because they think "transmisogyny" is some special cool thing trans women get to have, they don't actually see it as an intersection of two oppressive axes. They're usually not well read about transmisogyny and don't actually know anything about it.

As for talking to this person. Idk. Could just approach it that the word transphobia already exists and that the first point I mentioned is literally a thing transfems go through. Tbh w you I wouldn't know what to do if my friends start posting that bigoted garbage.

[absentcaryatid]

Is your Gender Neutral reader insert really written gender neutral?

Some observations from my perspective as an agender reader of K-pop fanfic.

No trait, behavior, or body part is limited to one gender only, but without giving a heads up in the fic notes, many things can be jarring when the person reading your work is expecting it to be generalized for any gender. While avoiding gendered pronouns is a good start, that is not all it takes to make a story truly gender neutral.

While suitable for every reader, gender neutral writing is of particular appeal to people who have a harder time finding representation in reader insert fanfic due to their gender. This includes people who are nonbinary, trans, agender, men, and also gender nonconforming people who find common fic characterizations for their gender do not represent them.

A partial list of things to check before posting your Gender Neutral fic:

Do a word search for "girl" used for the reader. Really. That's the number one tip. I have seen things marked "gender neutral reader" who then have the character get called "good girl" or greeted with "hey girl". Be selective too about words like "dude" or "guys" for the reader, even when used without intent to be gendered. Watch out for "she" and "her" or "he" and "his" occurrences that slip in by accident when writing about the reader. Also, if the love interest is caught kissing "another girl" or "another boy" you have just gendered the reader. Kissing "a girl" or "a boy" avoids that.

Mentions of clothes, jewelry, hair length, and makeup are more ways reader inserts might lean into a gender unintentionally. Skirts or long hair truly can be worn by anyone, but for many readers there will be a gendered cultural association in their mind. I have seen dresses and bras show up out of nowhere in some stories marked Gender Neutral leaving a reader bewildered if not given advance notice. Better to let someone skip the fic after reading disclosures in the contents paragraph upfront than be frustrated halfway through.

Who are your reader's friends and roommates? If they are only one gender, that can feel like the reader has been gendered even if unsaid, especially if they are living in a sorority or fraternity house.

Have you brought up specific body parts? Lots of stories include that, but be thoughtful about how the reader is catalogued in the pre-story notes. For instance, Gender Neutral AFAB (assigned female at birth) is one way to describe a reader insert character but ignores the full range of AFAB bodies. To be more inclusive in a world where people are intersex or transition medically, you can instead simply state the relevant anatomy. Reader has developed breasts. Reader has a penis. Reader has a vagina. Reader has top surgery scars. It is that easy.

Thank you to the people who do work crafting stories for those of us who are less often represented. It truly means a lot. If you are a reader, do let authors know how important their choice of making gender neutral stories is to you. The authors you become familiar with who can always be trusted when they label a fic Gender Neutral Reader are precious. Reblog their work to help others find such a treasure.

To anyone who writes stories with a gendered reader and is looking this over out of curiosity, I would like to ask one thing of you. Could you review how you list pairings? Are you specific about who your reader insert is when it comes to gender? So many times Character x "Reader" is used without any other modifier despite excluding plenty of readers. Your followers will already know who you are writing for, but people catching a reblog or discovering through tags want to know the gender of the reader insert without having to skim multiple paragraphs.

If your reader insert is a woman, say that. "Fem Reader" seems used to mean either female or feminine, which can be very different things, so it helps to use the full word for clarity. If the story shows your reader insert is cisgender, say that in advance. There is nothing wrong with catering to any of those audiences, but the lack of disclosure makes sifting through reader insert fanfiction on Tumblr a disheartening process for the rest of us.

[brainrotdotorg]

how did you treat the skills in your first playthrough? i happened to call them babe (gender neutral) whenever i was upset with an outcome. as someone who savescummed a lot, due to their poor stats, phys int and authority were the common targets of this (which i feel they would hate tremendously)

honourable mentions of this are:

trying to spice up the anodic dance music. everyone slowly and deliberately looking to phys int only for his ass to go 'hm? dunno anything about that son. you should go play sports instead.' i think about the way he says 'mmm...discus :)' at least three times a week

trying to approve your authority to titus. the chances of succeeding both the authority white check and the composure red check (with deals a whopping -2 to the kim reputation thing if you fail it and did not talk to kim about klaasje earlier, which is easy to do) is low with my stats. authority got most of the babygirling because he was being pampered with skill points, yet i was so tired by the time i finished i couldn't even let titus call me a good boy :(

i won't even talk about the savoir faire check for your cloak. i should be compensated for the emotional high of finally succeeding that check with my pants on, only for volitions ass (who was also pampered) to whine that im no titan of volition, forcing me to sit in the chair, almost die from the health damage, then MORALE damage bc of the gun thing.

having internalised 'the precarious world', gotten all the modifiers for it, and wearing as many stat boosts as i could, resulting in a 97% chance of success, only for authority to STILL proudly tell me that the most hardcore thing in the world was racism

the two hit combo of wearing the moralintern pants bc they were the only other ones i had, and then volition smugly insisting i'm 'normal' depsite already being on the communism quest (that he advocated for...), and then empathy popping up right after anyway to lecture me on moralism as everyone swoons about it, leaving me and echem like 🧍‍♂️🐙

the rhetoric orb that exists just to damage your morale. like to imagine rhetoric dramatically leaned against vol when they didn't expect it and they fell over

i hate these gay idiots so much. would not trade them for the world <3

absolutely love each of these bits. went back to listen to the discus line just because you reminded me of it lmaoooo its good shit. mmmm. discus.

i cant remember any specific instances of the skills wacky antics (other than the ones ive mentioned lots in the past) But like. as a whole on my first playthrough i also savescummed a lot lol . i also called them nicknames and pretty much everyone got a "girl! (positive)" or "Girl....(negative)" i definitely failed certain checks over and over to only be like "DUDE! PHYS INT WORK WIITH ME HERE!!!!!!"

[politicallyfuckoff]

I just saw a video of a guy on twitch, VAUSH, reacting to a video of Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Ben Shapiro discussing trandgenderism. So VAUSH starts off saying he finds Neil "insufferable" and that he just doesn't like him, and that he isn't a much bigger fan of Shapiro. He says he's going into this fully expecting to counter both of them.

Within the first minute he has to stop the video, because he, already, agrees completely with Tyson. As the video progresses, he stops multiple times to talk about the difference between these two dudes, commenting about how Tyson has the stance of an actual scientist as he asks Shapiro how facinating it would be to further study the biology, sociology and hormonal aspects of trans people, all the while Shapiro's only stance is political and that he doesn't have any arguments. For instance, Tyson asked Shapiro where he was going while he was ranting on about trans women in sports and how being trans isn't the same as being cisgender, and his response was "Why is it bad for me to say this?"

VAUSH is quiet for a moment before saying he is surprised at how he is fully agreeing with Tyson and how his points makes sense and are completely backed by science and modern societal behaviours. He reminds his viewers that he isn't a big fan of Tyson, but that his attitude in this video is "very very admirable" and that he's "rocking it." He says that it's good to have a conservatives' icon talking about trandgenderism with a completely neutral viewpoint and asking the important questions, like "Why do you care?"

One of Shapiro's talking points was a study about 'rapid onset gender dysphoria', in which this woman walked into a turf and asked the parents of trans youth how they precieved their children's gender dysphoria. It has later, as VAUSH says, been "crushed". He pulls out a sheet he has written about bad transgender studies and reads up his conclusion;

"Commonly sited by transphobes to indicate transness spreads socially, that exposure to trans material might encourage youth to be trans. 'Rapid onset gender dysphoria'.

BAD DATA. This study pulled PARENTS, not the actual children, and those polls were taken online, and those sites were biased by nature. 4thwavenow, trandgendertrend, yls (?).

Horrendously, pathetically inept data collection. Anyone who sites this, should be laughed at."

As I didn't fully understand Tyson's response, VAUSH says he is 50/50 on his reply. He says that it might be true that some journalists are afraid of the public's reaction to their studies, "People will freak out. Politicians will freak out," and thus resulting in the article being taken down. I recall Tyson saying, after he clarifies that he's interpreting, that he thinks this might be because people don't trust their free country's leaders to not take away their freedom. My own thoughts about that - Americans should be afraid of this. Time and time again, the American govurnment has removed specific groups of people's innate human rights, and this will absolutely continue until the people start to process what's really happening, and starting to care for others. Choosing old, white supremasist men with built-in hatred, or even dimentia patients to lead a country with so many colored people, LGBTQIA+, homeless, disabled, orphans, etc. above real candidates who actually want to make a change for the better, who wants to help everyone in need and support those who stand alone. This will only lead to the country's downfall. I have thought about this so much, especially since 2016, and I have yet to imagine a future where America will thrive and blissfully live happily ever after. I used to love the country, and the main reason I ever wanted to learn English was to one day go to America, or maybe even move there. I now know that I would be instantly shunned and my chances of getting a green card are close to none, just because I'm AFAB transgender with AuDHD.

Anyway - VAUSH continues to say that he wishes Tyson knew about this study, because based on his attitude here, he would clean Shapiro off the floor, my words. Tyson proceeds; "But what is your motivation?" to which Shapiro is confused by. Tyson explains that if Shapiro's only motivation for scientifically studying topics like climate change and gender dysphoria, is politically charged, the only outcome would be to take away freedom from specific people who previously shared the same rights as himself. VAUSH chuckles as he inputs his thoughts; Ben Shapiro "is too dishonest to acknowledge that he is only doing this to be part of a political agenda, this isn't some independent investigation into the facts." As Shapiro keeps repeating himself, Tyson thinks aloud that if science and politics were to "hash out," this would, historically, lead to "disaster if it involves discoveries that put people's freedom, as defind by the constitution, at risk." He ends by saying that we need to find a way to protect people's freedoms despite what these results could bring. This makes Shapiro quiet, which, in turn, brings a smile to my face.

Tyson reminisces a phone call he got from a gay magazine where they asked if being gay was biological. He says he doesn't care if it's biological, scientific or psychological because it shouldn't take away their rights. VAUSH seems kinda flabbergasted by this answer as he repeats "So true!" multiple times. He brings up how the theory of being gay is a choice was a matter of political import, whereas in reality this does not matter. He says he doesn't care if one is born gay, or if one "dabbed to hard one day and their neurons shook up and turned them gay," or that maybe a witchcraft magic was released in the Himalaya's and spread through the wind and turned everyone gay, he just doesn't care. It should not determine how gay people are treated today. Tyson says that if it were discovered that being gay was a biological matter, people would just leave it be, but if it turned out to be psychological, there would be more 'reorientation' camps. VAUSH adds that "right-wingers" would promote such camps and create youth education programmes to discourage them from being gay. He mentions how Shapiro's sitement of the 'rapid onset gender dysphoria' was, in theory, exactly that. If it were discovered that education and media had the influence to turn people gay, that Shapiro would then create a structure to minimize this influence. He reiterates how this would be a case of political import, as this very thing is currently happening to trans people. The ideology of media having some sort of power to make people choose to be different and using this idea to reason their segregation and lack of rights. He plays the video again, and Tyson exclaims that in the scenario of gay being psychological, there will be a change in society's behaviour to essentially attack and isloate this group of people in order to strip them of basic human rights. He says there should be a clear line between scientists and politicians, "let science do what it does," but there are so many politicians who aren't keeping sciense free from all this drama. Shapiro laughs and asks why he [Tyson] isn't libertarian then? VAUSH stops the video and passively yells that Ben is the one with authority here, "you're making the conservative authoritarian arguments!" When he unpauses the video, there is laughter from Shapiro as we can see Tyson getting up, seemingly done with this back and forth nonsense, and the video finally ends.

VAUSH takes off his earplugs to give his final thoughts about this discussion. He points out how Shapiro didn't even have any counters to what Tyson said before the video ended, yet exclaims how he found this video to be amazing. He takes away all the details and explains what happened in a nutshell; how Shapiro was forced to acknowledge the difference between sex and gender; how Shapiro was so dishonest even to himself that he cannot see that he bases all his opinions on a political standpoint and has absolutely no legs to stand on. He chuckles as he recalls Tyson objectively 'out-libertarianed' him, and finally that Shapiro did not have a rebuttal at the end. "That was a roll, that was incredible!"

He scrolls down to the comment section, and the first comment he reads out is from someone saying they lost respect for Tyson, writing "he wimped out." VAUSH talks about how if you are a fan of Tyson, but lost him during this video, you were never a fan of him or even his work as a scientist in the first place - you were only a fan of someone agreeing with your political views on a scientific level, and the second that changes, you have formed a new view of him based on your political agenda. After reading another similar comment, he is mindblown. He brings up that Tyson never spoke against this or that side, that he literally said "research all you want, just don't let politicians make hasty decisions causing restrictions of people's civil rights during the research." He goes on to the next comment, which says Tyson now value sports above evolution, and again has to repeat Tyson's words; "He never contested the empirical claim that men are stronger than women, but they hear it anyway, because they just don't listen."

I don't watch a lot of these things as the rage that is triggered always ends up settling for days. There was just something about this video that called me in, maybe it was the Twitch set-up that brought a reassuring energy, or maybe I just felt well enough today to try, I don't know. Regardless, I, too, am astounded by this debate. I don't think that it's for the same reasons, though. I'm more blown away at how mind-numbingly stupid Shapiro is, which also paints a very accurate picture of the right supporters, in my opinion. I see similar mindlessness when it comes to Israel; that blatant disregard of literal evidence which is shining right under their noses. Maybe they lack the ability to look down, who knows. I'm just kinda laughing at how dumb some people are, while simontaniously enraged at how these are the people leading the world right now. Any and everyone who aims for a more liberal and better future seem to be forced to social media where we are spread out and sent to conservatives. Perhaps that's just my algorythm playing games on me as I often find myself watching documentaries and like-wise movies, like The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas. Still, this video has made me respect Tyson even more. As VAUSH pointed out multiple times, Tyson never proclaimed to be either this or that, he just simply brought his scientific and logic-based mindset to see what Shapiro was on about. I don't think he understood much, though, as Shapiro was all over the place. I always have, and still continue to look at NDT with immense respect for his neutral fascination of everything in the universe, big and small, even the universe itself. I admire his interests not being limited to this science, but all sciene; his hunger for knowledge and thirst to teach is beyond inspiring to me! I also love his enthusiasm as he tells fun facts about something that intruiged him, or something he loves. Even if all this was wrong, I'd still admire his passion for science and what he finds to be true.

[talenlee]

4e: The Bloody Hamadryad and Satyr

Ehhh this article is due up in a few days. And I’m behind because the blog went down. And it’s marking season. And it’s Pride month.

Sure, why not.

I want to make sure that any time I write about 4e D&D, it’s about 4e D&D and that means it’s about the specific edition and not stuff that can be generically applied to and drawn from any other edition of the game. I could just write about tabletop RPGs in general or even about D&D in general and claim it was ‘about 4e’ but that doesn’t do anything as to my motivations for writing about 4e. See, I write about 4e for three basic reasons:

To be an experienced voice willing to talk about 4th edition D&D as someone who engages with it rather than the people who dismiss it without ever engaging with it

To highlight the way that 4e represents a historical contrast to the editions that came before it, and how the problems of that edition are addressed by 4e

I like talking about 4e stuff because I find it fun

And there is still fertile fields for this conversation! What’s surprisingly thin on the ground in 4e is Pride Stuff, and that is because, for the most part, sadly, 4e takes a position of absolute neutrality on issues of gender and sexuality. The 4e way of handling sexuality and gender is to broadly speaking almost never talk about it. There are a few heritages that don’t seem to have genders, like the Shardmind and Wildren, and there are some queer NPCs in some work, but that’s not new territory. It’s more that 4e is the first place where the rules text and lore doesn’t seem to feature gendered language the way it was in 3e. There’s less mention of goddesses with all-female followers, or player class options that are limited to a particular gender.

See.

I did say less, but not no mention, alas.

And that’s where we get to these two.

In one of the last hardback books of 4e, Heroes of The Feywild we got handed a collection of options that manage to hit the high water mark of ‘fine, I guess.’ If you want to play a witch who turns people into frogs, there is a class for that – it’s the wizard. But Heroes of the Feywild brings along specialised powers that fit that flavour better, and honestly, that’s pretty great, I would have liked more of that kind of thing in these splatbooks that didn’t have to bring along variant class rules. Whatever.

Glossary Note: Conventionally, the term used in D&D for this mechanical package is race. This is the typical term, and in most conversations about this game system, the term you’re going to wind up using is race. For backwards compatibility and searchability, I am including this passage here. The term I use for this player option is heritage.

The thing that stands out and apart in this book is the only instance of main-content, coherent, obvious player option information that is mechanically locked to a specific gender, and that gender explicates a binary gender. There’s a heritage in Heroes of the Feywild called the Hamadryad, and Hamadryads are all women. There’s also a heritage called the Satyr, and Satyrs are all dudes.

If you want to, you can play a representative of a culture that is entirely gendered one way, and they’re even really heavily magical cultures, which can get around a lot of the weirdness that that entails. Because trust me, in any given organic society of humanlikes, you have only a very limited amount of time before gender nonconforming individuals started to happen, just because gender is such a flexible space in any given culture. You need something completely inhuman to enforce that simplicity of gender representation because humans in any given segregated space start to Get Gender Feels. It’s not like dudes look at women and think ‘well, now I am captivated by a need to become the thing I looked at, in the same way that a trip to the zoo convinced me to be a gazelle.’

I don’t like these heritages, I don’t allow them in my games. It’s kinda ideological, but that’s behind several layers first. Like if you wanted to play a Satyr in my game because you want that mechanical package I’d give you a grimace but accept it, and find some reason for this mechanical toolset to exist for the one game, but I wouldn’t be putting Satyrs in my game world, not as a culture. The ideological position against them isn’t purely gender based, it’s mostly that they’re boring. And if you did need them in the world, I’d get rid of the gender limitation too, because it’s stupid, and in so doing, I would be taking the one interesting thing about this culture of not-interesting people and getting rid of it.

I think that things in my worlds for my games need to be things that create opportunities to do interesting things. I recognise that 4e needed to serve a lot of different player needs and that’s why there are options presented that may not service the needs of me or my players. The Bladesinger, for example, is there because a specific kind of player really wanted a wizard that could hit things with a sword, and wasn’t satisfied with the idea of, say, playing a Swordmage because that’s the wrong kind of wizard. I can accept that these things are for players who aren’t me and they have more weight when they’re a way of letting a player play something that did exist in an older version of a game in the new version of the game. The Sentinel Druid isn’t something I want to touch with a long stick, but I recognise that some people had experiences of druids in 3e where they weren’t shape-shifting battlefield-controlling doombeasts, and were kind of just healers who made herbal tea. I get that these things are there to serve a need.

But the Satyr and Hamadryad don’t feel like they serve any need at all.

They’re not mechanically distinct. Their stats aren’t unique combinations. Their heritage powers are neither amplifications of an existing powerful axis like the Dwarf and Half-orc offer, nor are they a new axis that you can build on with useful feats like the Eladrin or Dragonborn offer. These mechanical additions are honestly what I consider trinket text – they’re there to make sure a space doesn’t look empty, to make sure that something isn’t missing and ideally presents something that does as little impact as possible in real terms but feels good to be there. If you want an example of good trinket text, check out the Changeling from Eberron, with the extremely low-power shapeshifting power, without which the changeling would absolutely feel like it was missing something.

They’re also not precedented! 3e didn’t have either of these cultures at all! It’s not like someone has been aching for a chance to update their Satyr PC from the Adventure Path and Wizards needed to give them proper support. I was pretty familiar with all the weird cultural options in 3rd edition and I not once remembered getting

This is as close to a wholly new player option introduced right at the end of 4th edition D&D. It brought with it a gender essentialist pair of cultures and they don’t serve any purpose but to be exactly that. There’s no strong reason for them to exist but to present a unique example of a heritage that breaks one of the best examples of neutrality in the mechanical worldbuilding.

And I’m not saying you can’t do something interesting with these cultures. Sure! A Satyr Princess presents one immediate question of ‘but how’ and that’s cool. But is that ‘Satyrs are interesting’ or is it ‘I did something interesting with a cishet cultural perspective on Being Interesting About Gender 101.’

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#DnD4E #DungeonsDragons #Games

[waterpuddle10]

a phoenix person.

word count: 2.7k

a/n: this is my debut fic!! enjoy🙏

pairing: phoenix x fem!reader (technically gender neutral but written originally for fem!reader…because this was very self-indulgent), friends to lovers ! ft. the whole main cast of recruits being silly little fellas

summary: what was supposed to be a chill movie night with the people you care about becomes more when one specific person makes the first move. 

warnings: mentions of alcohol, cursing, painful pining, slight moment of angst, FLUFF

                                                ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

After wrapping up a surprisingly early night at the Hard Deck, a mildly buzzed Coyote and Payback convinced you to join them and a couple others for a movie night back at…someone’s apartment. The plans were so haphazardly formed that details were barely solidified, especially one very important detail of a certain someone’s attendance that you really wished you would’ve known before you so recklessly agreed. 

It wasn’t that you and Phoenix weren’t close, but even the help of a drink couldn’t ease away the odd tensions between the two of you recently. You would’ve just brushed it off, if only she wasn’t on your mind so damn much. 

There were actually a number of instances in the past couple of days where eye contact lingered, or she seemed to say your name more often in conversations. You felt stupid for overthinking your every miniscule interaction, but you didn’t want to let go either. 

“Let’s watch Cars…can we watch Cars?” shouted Coyote as he and Rooster clambered into the living room. Reaching past them to hold the door open for everyone else, you tried not to lose it a little as Phoenix brushed close past you with a brisk, “Thanks B.” 

B was a nickname Phoenix coined for your callsign, which was Breeze. When everyone took notice of how disturbingly quick your normal walking speed was paired with the gentle breeze you left in your wake whenever you sped past someone, your odd habit ended up quickly inspiring the title.

“Yes, thank you B for the door, can we get a round of applause everyone.” said Hangman as he and two others passed by you. “Chivalry is not dead.” He shot you one of his signature grins, to which you fondly flipped him off as everyone laughed. You couldn’t help but let a smile grace your features either.

You glanced around the dimly lit room to see Bob sitting on the floor, scrolling through Netflix on the television. The other guys eventually piled around him, and a comfortable silence fell about the room with the occasional “Ew, no we’re not watching that.”

Not wanting to be a part of the now cuddle session taking place on the floor, you and Phoenix sat on opposite ends of the worn down side couch. Feeling the side effects of scream singing at the bar just earlier, you tried to get comfortable, stretching out your legs but being careful not to kick them out too far onto Phoenix’s side. Upon your movement, she did the same, and even with your sock-clad feet not touching, just the warmth emanating from her made your heart rate increase. Going into brain autopilot, you caught yourself imagining a scenario in which it was just you two, her arm around you and heads leaned onto each other. Existing together. 

The clamoring of voices snapped you back into reality. 

“We were doing nose-goes man…just GO you LOST!” yelled Rooster as an indignant Hangman stood up in whiny protest. Payback, Coyote, and Fanboy snickered to themselves, and even Bob had his lips pressed into a thin line, trying not to crack. 

“I just sat down. I JUST,” Hangman took a dramatic deep breath. “Okay, fine. I’ll go get your dumb snacks but you’re all not allowed to start the movie or play anything until I get back,” he said as he headed for the door. Groans of exaggerated exasperation erupted from the mass of dudes on the floor, but they let the pact slide.

You took a cautious glance over at Phoenix to see her already returning the eye contact. The glint in her eyes shimmered like sunbeams on the sea. She smiled, rolling her eyes at the antics, and you sniffed out a small laugh. 

“Just take a nap or something,” Hangman called over his shoulder as the door closed. 

They did indeed take a nap. 

Strange conversation about whether a hot dog was a sandwich eventually became droning silence as one by one, each person in the heap fell into slumber. You resisted the urge to turn and look at her, as if you didn’t already do that enough during classes. 

As much as you wanted to attempt to talk to Phoenix, the quiet became too overbearing, and you ultimately decided to just enjoy the rare moment of peace. Your train of thought, however, was halted as a horrific snore echoed throughout the room. Phoenix’s head popped up to look at you with an expression clearly reading: The fuck was that?!

You looked over at the floor, exhaling hard through your nose in a shocked laugh, and motioned for her to come closer. Phoenix scooted to toss herself next to you, body lightly bumping into yours, and peered down to see your flushed teammates all asleep, heads resting on Bob’s shoulders and lap as if he was a dad. 

“How cute,” Phoenix jokingly murmured, and all of a sudden you became acutely aware of how close she was to you. Your shoulders pressed together as she craned to see the unexpectedly angelic sleeping faces of your friends, a strand of her dark hair slipping out from her loosely tied bun. She let out another snicker before turning to look at you. The beers you had both downed earlier set a gentle rosiness in her cheeks, and her eyes twinkled in amusement.

You tore your eyes away from hers, letting out the breath you had been holding to laugh quietly. 

The blob shifted for a moment, and after about a half-second of silence, Payback unleashed the most comical snore you had ever heard. It was as if the ground literally rumbled from its power. 

Both you and Phoenix exploded in laughter, and you clapped a hand over your mouth to try to stifle the cackles. Phoenix started hitting the side of your arm as you both tried to control your volume, and just the sight of her smile made your heart entirely skip a beat. 

After you both had calmed down, you swept a hand through your hair and exhaled heavily, stomach hurting from the restrained laughter. “They look like puppies or something,” you whispered. A grin crept up on Phoenix’s face. “Good thing I’m a cat person.”

With a hum, you nodded, staring straight ahead of you. “I could see that. You seem like a cat person.” 

Phoenix scoffed in pretend hurt, giving your shoulder a shove. “What is THAT supposed to mean?!” 

You broke out in giggles. 

Why am I giggling. 

“I- I don’t know? You’re just, like…you don’t like people touching you randomly, you’re independent and…” you met her eyes for a second before instantly looking away. “...You’re strong, and…majestic?”

“Why are you describing me as if I’m a landmark?”

You start to laugh again, and you catch her heartstopping smile before looking away, blurting out a flurry of giggled apologies. 

Phoenix reaches over to good-naturedly shove you again. “Am I just a landmark to you?!” she whisper-screamed. 

“You’re NOT!” you burst out in a matched whisper-scream reply. 

Nervousness rose in your chest as you felt her eyes on you while you tried to laugh off the indescribable amount of panic you felt with her being. Right. There. 

Phoenix softly grabbed your wrist, pulling you to look at her despite your effort to shift away. 

The guys were still snoring.

“Then what am I?” 

You just stared. 

“What am I to you?” Phoenix finished. 

You drew back, the shock of what she had just said absorbing. Her expression faltered, and you felt your heart start to sink (despite it racing against all odds) as the twinkle in her eyes faded. Her eyebrows furrowed in regret. 

“Sorry. Sorry, I uh-” she started.

“No, no, it’s okay I was just…” you tried to explain. But how could you?

The only thing you could do was clear your throat.

She pulled away, and both of you sat side by side, the silence making its return.

Say something. Literally anything. Just say it. Oh my god just say it you idiot. 

Right as you opened your mouth, the door burst open. Hangman re-entered, bearing multiple plastic grocery bags. “I got the snack- What in the hell.” You turned and traced his stare to the pile of sleeping men on the floor. 

Phoenix turned to him with a quick laugh. “You said take a nap. We didn’t wanna wake ‘em up.” 

There were still traces of some unidentifiable emotion muddled within her expression. She definitely seemed more tense than before. 

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. 

Hangman snorted. “Well someone’s gotta. WAKE UP MANBABIES,” he shouted, reaching into the bag and pelting the cuddle buddies with a can of Pringles. As the blob began to emit grunts of consciousness, you found interest in staring at the beige carpet as you tried to gather your thoughts. You sensed the couch raise, and you glanced up to see Phoenix walk away. Her figure slowly disappeared as she presumably crouched to sit on the kitchen floor, head vanishing behind the island. 

A different hand placed itself to rest on your left shoulder, and you acknowledged Bob with a quiet “hey” as he took a seat next to you, rubbing his eyes through his grandpa glasses. Or at least that’s what you and Phoenix liked to call them, anyway. 

“Are you okay? Sorry we all passed out. You look like you’re in a daze.”

You gave the concerned man an appreciative smile. “I look dazed? You literally just woke up from a snuggle nap…and a pretty long one at that.”

He dropped his head with a kind laugh before turning to seriously look at you. “Okay, answer the question.”

Your eyes settled back on the ground, but a soft poke on the arm convinced you to look back at him. “I don’t know what’s going on but you’re probably one of the few people who still won’t get this through your head. Took me a while too, but don’t think, just do. Remember? That whole mission-” Bob began.

You let out a puff of air in a half-cringing, half-grateful laugh. “Okay, Maverick. I’m going. I am doing. Watch.” Bob gave you a proud singular pat on the back.

As you got up to head towards the kitchen, Rooster suddenly rounded the corner, making you jump a little. 

“Hey. You goin’ somewhere?” he asked.

“Are you?”

“I was going pee.”

Oh right, this was his house. 

You paused in your step. “I was just going to...get…beer?” 

Your eyes flickering off to the side to glance at Phoenix must’ve given you away. Rooster quirked an eyebrow, and turned as subtly (and yet still very unsubtly) as he could. His brown eyes shimmered with understanding, silently mouthing, “ohhh.” 

He somehow always got it with you, and although you disliked how easily he could read you sometimes, you appreciated him being there. He offered you a fist and a quiet “You get those beers,” to which you scoffed and moved past him, returning the fist bump with a hint of a smile. 

Somehow, the comforts your friends gave you made facing the situation at hand feel much more difficult, now that you were here.

You stiffly approached Phoenix’s right. She held an empty can, toying with the tab. To your surprise, she silently moved to the left as you crouched down to sit next to her, both of you now snugly hidden behind the kitchen island. The playful bickering coming from the other room started sounding muted as your world seemed to shrink.

You took a deep breath, but Phoenix beat you to the first move. 

“You’re fine.”

Your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Phoenix tossed the can away with a clatter, now staring at her hands. 

“I know you think that was your fault or something, but it’s not. I was…I just lost my filter.”

She looked up, eyes intense but mesmerizing all the same. It seemed she underestimated the proximity between you as her gazed flitted downward to your lips for a split second. She swallowed.

“I was being weird. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

She started to get up, but the nervousness subsided enough for you to grab her hand. 

It was warm. She didn’t pull away, even as you stood to match her. 

“No, I’m sorry,” you said, fighting for your life to keep your voice steady. You paused to look over your shoulder at the rest of your friends. 

Still holding onto her hand, you dragged Phoenix along to the short hallway that led to the bathroom. It was dark, but the warm orange light from around the edge of the wall cast a sunset-like glow on her features. Her dark eyes searched yours, and you felt like you were going to freeze up again just from the way she looked at you.

“Okay. It’s just. Hm. I should’ve planned this. Uh…” you said, voice growing smaller by the second. Phoenix’s grip on your hand tightened slightly, the action barely noticeable had your senses not gone into overdrive with her presence.

“...I just wasn’t sure? Well, I’m definitely sure that I feel, that I have a crush, of sorts, on you. But. The thing I wasn’t sure about was you.”

Her gaze was unwavering.

“From the first time we all met,” you continued, “You were so clear about your personal boundaries and rules, and I really respected and admired you, first of all because you’re an amazingly talented pilot, but over time…I realized it was because of something else.”

You decided you would let your words take their own course.

“Recently…it’s felt different, I guess. Not that I don’t still respect you, because of course I do, but it’s just the way you look at me, and I don’t even think you’re meaning to, but it just makes me feel like I am going to genuinely shrivel up. And I just keep…wanting you to. To look at me. You’re always on my mind, and frankly it’s becoming a problem.”

You exhaled.

“And to answer your question from before, you’re definitely..way. way more than a landmark to me.”

You couldn’t read her expression, and couldn’t tell if it was because your brain had gone completely foggy or because…no that was probably it.

Phoenix finally spoke.

“So you aren’t dense.”

“Huh?”

She broke out laughing, head tipping down and hitting your chest gently before lifting her eyes. Phoenix was taller than you just by a little, but her slight downward gaze and the way your breath caught in your throat sent a wave of tingling warmth across your face. 

“And here I was, thinking you didn’t get any of it,” Phoenix breathed out.

You didn’t even notice that you too, had been holding your breath again until a laugh burst out of you. Your eyes lingered on your still-linked hands. “I’m still kinda not believing it, to be completely honest.” 

She blinked in slow disbelief at you, rolling her eyes and letting go of your hand to softly hold the sides of your face, leaning in to close the distance between you. Heart beating out of your chest, you let your eyes start to shut.

“Is this okay?” Phoenix whispered.

You nodded, and her lips met yours. Your hands reached to grasp the hem of her shirt, and it felt as if a million multicolored butterflies were just released from your chest. You stepped forward slightly, Phoenix’s back faintly hitting the wall. You felt her start smiling as she pulled back to teasingly whisper “..You believin’ it now?” before you leaned back in again, shaking your head with a smile of your own. 

When you both finally let go, every fiber of your being felt as if the most golden, warm, beach sunlight had been shining on it. 

Phoenix’s hands slid down from your face and onto your arms, thumbs softly caressing them in a way you never thought you would enjoy from anyone ever. 

“For the record, I do like people touching me.” she deadpanned.

You somehow mustered the balls to hold eye contact with her, but tilted your head in a moment of bewilderment.

“...People being you only.”

With an incredulous scoff, you shoved her away, both of you quietly bursting into laughter once again. “You are so corny,” you whisper to her, poking her shoulder.

“Yeah and you have a crush on me, so,” Phoenix retorted, a smile growing on her face.

“Stop, that is so embarrassing to say. Get away from me.” you said, laughing into the end of the sentence.

Even as you both emerged from the hallway with badly hidden grins and sat back on the couch, the chaos of what you quickly identified as Wii Sports managed to keep everyone’s eyes away from you. Watching Payback, Rooster, Hangman, Fanboy, and Coyote erupt in whoops and cheers as Bob hit a strike in the animated bowling alley, you couldn’t keep holding back your smile. Nothing felt better than right now. 

“Hey,” Phoenix said, leaning in so you could hear her over the absolute racket. 

“Yeah?”

Phoenix’s face was less than a couple inches away. “If I’m a cat person, then what are you?”

You bit your lip and looked up at the ceiling, in a mock state of deep thought.

“Hm. I guess I would consider myself a Phoenix person.”

[reds-burrow]

Dude (in the non-gendered sense). Stop referencing characters as examples without telling us who they are! I need to know who that Neutral Snake from your arguing post is or who the Badger and Lion are from your Coiled Badger post. You can't mention them and then not tell us who!

Watch me!

No, but that's fair. I guess it is starting to become a bad habit of mine. Usually when I don't bother mentioning specifically who I'm referring to it's because:

1) I'm already writing up their sorting in another post and don't want to repeat myself (which yeah kinda a dumb reason I'm now realizing)

2) I don't care enough about the character to actually take the proper time and effort to find evidence to support my sorting (which... eh. Since I don't care about these characters that much maybe I should go ahead and tell people what my gut is telling me and let them decide if I'm making sense or not)

3) I care too much about the character and want to do a reread/watch to make double sure my argument for their sorting is sound but haven't had the time to do that yet (that Neutral Snake for instance is a character who helped me sort myself and so I care waaaaay too much about his sorting to say anything yet)

Hmmmm. Yeah, okay, after writing that all out, I see how silly it is. I'll do my best to stop doing that. Oh, and since you asked, the Badger Secondary and Lion Secondary from that Coiled Spring Badger post are Tanjiro and Inosuke from Demon Slayer respectively (and they fall under category 1).

[fixing-bad-comic-art]

Dude is gender neutral

anon, please take the time to learn about how the context in which a word is used changes its meaning and, in this instance, its gendering. they were very clearly using 'dude' to mean 'man or man aligned' in that ask.

fruit can mean a queer person or it can mean the seed barring part of some plants. context is what will tell you which people are actually talking about.

or a better example for this is the word 'queen'

'queen' could mean a female monarch, making it a distinctly feminine word, or it can mean a man who participates in drag, or is otherwise especially feminine while still being a man. in this context 'queen' is a neutral or even a masculine descriptor.

and because i know someone is going to start shit over it, im talking specifically about men and men aligned people in the preceding paragraph, not trans women.

[rotationalsymmetry]

re: "afab non binary questioning culture is wondering if you’re actually non-binary or just don’t like what it’s like to be a “woman”."

This is very legitimate, and it can be tricky working out which things you don't like about being seen as a woman are misogyny/patriarchy things and which are, y'know, gender identity things. (But also it doesn't have to be one or the other! You can both intensely dislike female gender norms as a thing that exists in society and also be personally non-binary! Opting out of "womanhood" doesn't mean you have to give up your opinions of patriarchy either!)

Honestly I have found the perspectives of, and indeed simple existence of, transfeminine people and men who like crossdressing and so on, absolutely invaluable here. For instance, if there's guys (actual guys) who just like makeup in spite of not being "socialized" to like it (and indeed being heavily socialized to stay away from all that stuff), then there has to be some intrinsic appeal in make-up for some people, and that implies that when some women like make-up it's probably not just a female socialization thing, but an actual liking-make-up-for-its-own-sake thing that would still exist in a world without gender roles or with very different ones. Which in turn means that me not liking make-up is something different from make-up intrinsically being awful.

(Although, there's also a difference between how make-up is as a strictly optional thing and how make-up is as something that you're pressured into doing. Anyways.) For me, the kind of non-binary I am is bigender, both male and female. I'm still a woman. I'm just also a dude. Which means that everything I don't like about "being a woman" (and there are many such things)? Is a thing I don't like about "being a woman" (ie under patriarchy/strict gender roles), not a thing I don't like about actually being a woman. If that makes sense.

(uh, I understand that "bigender" means "two genders" and doesn't have to be those two genders. By the way. That's what those two genders are for me though.) Some specific examples: Do I like strange men looking at me as a sexual being? I do not, or at least not under most circumstances. (If I'm opting in and can opt out again, that's completely different.) Do I like a specific man that I actually want to have sex with looking at me as a sexual being? Oh yes. Do I like shaving my legs, or feeling self-conscious if I don't shave them? I do not, I would much rather it was just a neutral thing for women to not shave their legs, like wearing skirts vs pants is a neutral thing. Do I like form-fitting clothes? Hard no. Do I like nail polish? It depends -- I don't do well if it's supposed to look polished and perfect or if it's the wrong shade of pink. But if it's just color and sparkle and something I can have fun with? Love it. Do I like long flowy hippy skirts? Yes. Floral patterns on clothes? Sometimes, if it's pretty enough; other times, I'd rather not. Do I like jewelry? Sometimes. Do I like cooking? Love it. Knitting? Yes. Do I like people assuming I'm safe to have around kids? Absolutely. Do I like it when groups split off into a group of men who talk about politics and a group of women who talk about, I don't know, how to get stains out of things? Absolutely not, please let me be in the politics group OK? Even though I recognize that someone has to know how to get the stains out.

(Did I like being "a bride"? Oh gods no. I did rather like getting married though, and did actually like the wedding planning. Just not "being a bride".) Do I like being called "handsome"? yes. Do I like short, masculine-looking hair? yes. (Although not like buzz-cut short. And if I got read as male with long hair I'd probably go for long hair.) Do I like clothes that make me look masculine? yes, at least some of the time. Do I like thinking of myself as male? Yes, at least some of the time. Do I like engaging in "feminine" stuff while thinking of myself as male? extremely yes. "Masculine" stuff while thinking of myself as female? Very much yes. Anyways: gender isn't just about what you don't like, it is also often about what you do like, and that can take some time to figure out (and can change over time!) Labels (or, uh, "refridgerator magnets") exist for you, for you to understand yourself and to explain yourself to others in a way that works for you. "Woman who doesn't like "being a woman" under patriarchy" is an excellent label. "Nonbinary" is an excellent label. "Nonbinary person who doesn't like patriarchy" is also an excellent label. Have fun with gender. Get revenge on patriarchy by living well. Do drag, whatever your gender is. Meet people whose gender experience is different from yours. Stay away from terfs -- we've got better ways to be a feminist. Follow your bliss.

[skammovistarplus]

Hey, is "dude" the best translation for "tia/tio"? I though it was weird at first cause it also means aunt/uncle (right?!) but after watching season one in like half a day, I got used to them calling each other tia/tio all the time. Kinda wanna go and call my friends tias now too. Still, I was wondering if dude really is the best translation. And btw I was laughing out loud reading your tweets today, the font size 16 part had me dyingggg, honestly thank you

Hi!

Thank you for liking the stuff I do on twitter, it takes up a lot more time than it seems (I can be posting about a clip for up to an hour), so I appreciate that people like it. It’s one of my favorite things that I do for the show.

As for tío/tía, here’s why I settled on dude:

This is as good a moment as any to deal with the “tío/tía” stuff. Translated literally, “tío” and “tía” mean uncle and aunt. We definitely use these words to refer to our actual uncles and aunts, too.  But we also, consistently and across all age groups, use them to address or refer to literally anyone. “Tío” and “tía” are fairly casual, so you’ll generally want to be peers to address someone as such, but in conversation with someone else, a Spanish person will refer to any one person as “tío” or “tía.” It can be your best friend. It can be someone you just met. It can be your teacher. It can be your boss. It can be the prime minister. It can be your mailman.

I have opted to translate the instances of “tío” and “tía” as (the, to me, gender neutral) dude, for the most part. So Jorge can call Eva dude, and it’s just a friendly way of addressing her, no other connotations. That said, there are instances where I’ve preferred to translate “tía” as girl, such as when Viri tells Lara that there are a lot of things she wants people to get involved in. I feel that there’s a nuance to that “tía” in which Viri is trying to come across as open and friendly to Lara, in a way that is specific to women wanting to be friends with other women. So, for that particular instance, I chose girl. In general, if the subs say “girl,” but you’re clearly hearing “tía,” it means that there’s a specific nuance to the dialogue that makes it relevant that the person addressed or being talked about is a woman. Otherwise, it’s dudes straight down the line.

In my opinion, translation is more of an art than a science. In science, there are no opinions. In art, there are opinions affected by sensibilities. For my part, I am a native speaker of Castilian Spanish and I have a C2 level in English as tested by the CPE. I’ve lived in the United States (PNW) and communicate with American people extensively and daily. In my opinion, the closest translation to tío/tía in American English is dude, unless there are other nuances such as the one I explained above. It’s fine if people disagree, but I hope I’ve satisfactorily explained my reasoning and how I came to it.

[notyourmothersspellbook]

Ok, so ok this may sound a bit weird, but I am a trans dude and I’m wondering what I should call myself. I don’t particularly like the word witch because I think of it as a feminine term, but if it’s the only word that I could use then I guess that’s alright

That’s not weird at all, and although witch is a gender neutral term (and has been since its inception) I understand that in modernity it often has a connotation of being feminine. There are other terms, but I don’t fully know the meanings/differences between them all so some research is needed to see if they actually fit and to see that you’re not claiming a term that simply doesn’t describe your practice. Some term themselves magicians, magic practitioners,  warlock, wizard sounds a bit silly to me tbh, conjuror, wise man, sorcerer, mage. There are subtle differences to these terms and some paths may use one over another for a specific purpose so be sure to look further into what it means to be a mage, for instance, a term that I believe is usually associated with a highly ceremonial practice. Best of luck! 

[bethbayless-blog]

I made a post on Facebook about an awesome interaction with a cashier at Walmart. Long story short, the cashier (who looked a bit more feminine but I couldn't definitely give a gender) helped me through a meltdown while checking my items with the sleeper thing. The following conversation is in the comments and still going. This entitled guy (EG) is knowing on my last nerve. AD1 &AD2 are awesome dudes (no gender reveal here except EG) and Odd is the odd one out.

EG: I hate the use of they. They is plural. Them is plural.

Ad1: @EG Not any more. It’s a gender neutral personal pronoun, in the absence of anything else, when you don’t know someone’s gender.

Me: @EG to avoid beating a dead horse, the person was dressed in a more feminine way, but I couldn't tell. But do kindly leave negativity like your comment out by the door.

EG: @me I’m not being negative. I’m being my real self.

Me: I'm not having this debate again.

EG: @me and I’m not ignoring the rules of grammar just because of ambiguity.

Me: EG ah yes, the question I should have asked instead of for some assistance with moving my newly bought cat litter should've been if the cashier was a man or woman just to please someone else's curiosity and wanting to stick with rules of grammar. Please just let the dead horse lie.

EG: @me did the cashier have a name tag? Proper name trumps pronoun any time.Beth Bayless and no I will not let this issue die. I’m tired of having to change my use of a language and it’s rules to suit the latest cause of which we seek to not offend. THEY/THEM is PLURAL. Create a new singular gender neutral word if you are so concerned that you can’t use or know someone’s personal name and don’t want to offend with gender assumption.

Me: @EG It was bckwards, showing me the back. Bob Oyler see previous replies. I am done trying to explain myself.

EG: @me I didn’t ask you to explain yourself.

EG: AD1 I do not call any person it. If I am interacting with a drag Queen for instance. I say her when in character, but if I’m dealing with Doug, out of character I say Doug or he. AD1 don’t get me started about how the British created and accent and grammar to sound superior to other races/cultures. AD1 admittedly the rich in New England have done the same thing. The William F. Buckley speech pattern.@AD2 by proper name.

AD1: EG “The British” didn’t create English. The English did. It’s a language. Not created for superiority but due to the anthropological history we have here due to how many people invaded us. Also…. The English didn’t create grammar. Or accent. Everywhere you go there are different accents. If you came to visit where I live you wouldn’t understand us despite us speaking English. In case you’re not aware, there are many other “British” languages. I’m guessing you are American. EG PS I’m amazed you use the term Asperger’s as that was invented by the Nazis, after the doctor who experimented on and killed autistic children. That’s why we don’t refer to it as Asperger’s here in the UK.

EG: AD1 yes I know about the Nazi doctor. If I use HFA that will offend as well. I’m old enough that autism wasn’t a consideration. People like me we difficult kids. There was no understanding. No dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. Conform or be punished, eat what’s prepared or go to bed hungry. There was no coddling of my generation of weird kids.

AD2: and if you don’t know their name?? What then?

EG: AD2 Pardon me, what was the total? Look at that. I didn’t need a gender neutral/specific word. To relate the experience later, the cashier said, then added this detail, that was one clever cashier.

AD2: EG You didn’t answer my question.

EG: Kind of like avoiding race identification. “Then this black guy walked up.” As opposed to, “Then this guy walked up.” AD2 yes I did. I answered with an example of how I avoid gender assignment in an androgynous/ambiguous situation.

Odd: EG yup I learned to have meltdowns in private to avoid getting beat. I learned to find a place to hide or shut down mentally to avoid getting beat.

EG: Odd I share your pain.

[ageeksnerdyworld]

I’d love for you to explain what your Norse story is about. Promise I’ll tell you about my Greek stuff :p

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Forgive me for a second here while I ramble my dude.

(Just as an fyi Lies We Live is still in the idea stages.)

But basically it’s like a combination of Norse myth and a fantasy epic like LOTR. All the characters are incarnations of a specific Norse god and their arc in the overall plot reflects that god’s arc in the Prose Edda. I haven’t figured out the overlying plot yet.

For now the story is told by Saga (goddess of stories) but I’m debating on changing it to a POV thing with Loki & Thor.

Every single Norse god who plays a big role in Norse myth is going to be in the story in some way. We have the big guns: Thor, Odin, Loki, Tyr, Baldr, Freyja. But I also have the lesser big players: Idunn, Sigyn, etc... Some of the characters are combinations of a main god and a lesser god or more than one lesser god.

For example Hávarðr Silje is a combo of Heimdall and Höðr. I did this because Höðr plays such a small role in Norse myth it doesn’t make sense to keep him as a full character. But his role is important to both myth and the story.

All of the characters’ personalities are true to the myths. Some of their looks are my own interpretation because so much of Nordic written mythology and history was destroyed by the British. But I am debating on doing a Peter Pan scenario with Nyfrid Frisk (Idunn) or just making her a straight up child.

So for instance Brenna Karlsen is explicitly genderfluid. They usually go by Bren because it’s more gender neutral than feminine. Bren has ginger hair, freckles, natural androgynous features and dresses rather extravagantly. They are sassy as ever. I gave Bren a feminine first name and a patronymic last name as a slight allusion to who they really are which is Loki. (In actual Norse myth Loki has a masculine first name and a matronymic last name.)

As for setting it’s taking place somewhere between 793–1066 AD (haven't figured exactly when just yet).

Main place setting is Scandinavia. But each of the later settings will be a real life location that corresponds to one of the Nine Realms. Scandinavia will be Midgard as it was home to the Vikings. Helheim will most likely be the North Pole since it’s all icy and cold.

I should probably stop...

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

How to deal with a parent who forces gender roles onto a gender confused child??? I need reassurance help ugh I don't knwo what to do it bothers me and I 'm overwhelmed

Harper says:I don’t know specifics, so I’ll try and keep my advice wide-ranging. The first half of this assumes you are the child dealing with your own parent, and the second half will assume you know a child who’s parent is enforcing gender roles.

1:

In this section I’m assuming you are the child mentioned in the ask, so hey there!

The first thing you should do is check out our resources on non-supportive people and parents at the end of this section, you’re more likely to find something that caters to your needs as I don’t know specifics.

Secondly, my advice is, if possible, to spend time in spaces where you are accepted and validated. This could be online or with friends irl. If possible, you may also want to spend time finding new friends or safe spaces in LGBT centres/LGBT orientated places. I know talking about shared experiences with friends can really help work through the stress, anger, and fears of having unaccepting parent(s). And even if you’re not talking about all that, just spending time with people who respect and understand you can do a lot for your mental health and ability to deal with parents. It can also provide a space to experiment with gender: to try on different clothes, pronouns, and so on, which is very important when you’re trying to figure things out and your parent is enforcing strict roles.

I would also advise, if at all possible and safe to do so, going to therapy and discussing these things. It can open up methods of dealing with frustrations, provide support, and open up channels and methods of talking with your parent about such issues.

It may come to the point of talking to parent about gender, to make them aware that what they are doing distresses you. During this conversation, it is good to be confident in and knowledgeable about what you’re talking about. This can calm your parent down and make them more receptive to what you’re telling them. In your case, being so confused about gender, it can be very unproductive to have these conversations, especially with high emotions about. I’d then say perhaps do some reading, find a way of expressing what gender is in a way that your parent will likely listen to. Our for parents/guardians page (linked below too) is a good place to start. I would also consider the possibility that if you do have this conversation, your parent may ask “what are you? / what do you identify as?” if you’re confused about this, you may want to try our what am I page?, but I’d also highlight that to say “I don’t know yet” or other negative definitions like “I’m not x, or y, or z” is also a perfectly valid response, even if that is difficult for your parent to accept at first.Lastly, I’ll signpost you to our various pages linked on our desktop theme. Hopefully there’ll be something there to help you cope, either with presentation, validation, mental health etc.. I also want to remind you that it can take a long time for parents to come round and understand and accept you, and it unfortunately, it may never happen. Be patient but stay safe.

Resources:

Transfeminine resources

Transmasculine resources

Non-binary resources

Dysphoria Page

Mental health

What am I?

What if someone is not supportive after I come out?

Help, someone wasn’t supportive/won’t call my by my name/pronouns

How to deal with parents that are not accepting

Problem solving packet

Parents who won’t use name/pronouns

Interpersonal relationships

Transgender Advice: Dealing with Unsupportive Parents

Ally Moms

Send them our for parents page

A Letter to Parents Who Don’t Accept Their Gay and Transgender Children

Rejected by your parents? You are not alone. (Leelah Alcorn suicide mention)

How to help someone who forgets your pronouns

Scientific evidence about gender/sexuality stuff

More resources for parents:

Trans 101 / Trans 101 Youtube videos / More trans 101

Understanding Transgender: Why are people transgender?

Genderqueer/Nonbinary 101

What does dysphoria feel like?

Transgender FAQ

Things to not say to a trans person

Think you’ve got “trans” down, but still feel confused about “non-binary”?

What does transgender mean?

More on what being transgender means

Glossary of Terms - Transgender

Basic questions about trans people, answered

Tips for allies

What is intersex and is it the same as being trans?

List of recommended resources

List of offensive terms

How to support a trans person experiencing body dysphoria

Gender neutral titles

How to be a good ally to nonbinary people

10 myths about nonbinary people that it’s time to unlearn

Experiencing a common gender, experiencing a unique gender, and experiencing multiple genders

Why gender and sex are both social constructs

Learning how to be a better ally to trans people (video)

PFLAG’s guide to being a trans ally

Send them our for parents page

A Letter to Parents Who Don’t Accept Their Gay and Transgender Children

Reasons why they/them pronouns are okay to use

So your child is non-binary

2:

In this section, I am assuming you know a child who’s parent is enforcing gender roles. For the majority of this section, I’m going to assume here you’re closer in age to the child rather than the parent, and the child is notably younger than you.

In such a situation, there may be very little you can do to ‘deal’ with the parent directly. The parent may not be really able to talk with you, or indeed listen, and any talk along the lines of “I think you are treating your child wrong…” etc. is likely to shut down any conversation. (This may not be the case. You might be a similar age to the parent and friends with them, if so perhaps they could be a little more open to such talks?)

I also think you have to acknowledge that there might be, unfortunately, very little you can legally or actually do in such a situation. However, if the situation is abusive, child protection services may have to be called in. See this post on action dealing with abusive parenting. CW for abuse, trauma, parents, etc..

If it is safe for you to do so, providing the child with even an awareness of the possibilities of the varieties of gender expression could be a way to help out. Subtly changing your language around them to acknowledge trans and non-binary people, or any form of gendered variance, for example: if the instance of boys wearing skirts or makeup comes up express how that is an o.k. and good thing! Or perhaps, change your language, and encourage language that is gender neutral. “Pals” or “folks” instead of “guys” or “dudes”. “They” instead of assuming gendered pronouns. Even though its subtle, representation and language use like this can be incredibly important, as it not only opens up the possibilities to trans children, but also starts a conversation examining the gender roles all children (cis, trans, etc.) are subject to (however gender confused they may be). If you’re in a position to share media/stories/whatever that are safe for kids that include varying modes of gender performance could be good! There’s a growing number of children’s books that deal with trans people and gnc performances. The Boy and the Bindi by Vivek Shraya comes to mind.If the child is older, it might be an idea to direct them to resources where they can learn in their own time about gender and sexuality. Our blog for example!I would lastly like to stress that directly confronting the child with things like: “you’re gender confused, I am going to help you.” will be accusatory and stressful, and may create an unsafe situation for the child. What I am advising, if it is within your means to do so, is to include the avenues for further learning about gender within your conversations and within your language in a non-confrontational way. Always take into account yours and the child’s safety, and educate gently, but positively.