they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
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good mornings throughout the travel
[ID: Two comics of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The second is underneath the read more.
The first is in four panels and follows Vash and Wolfwood through hotel rooms. First, Vash and Wolfwood exit adjacent rooms, and Wolfwood has sparkles floating around him as he exclaims, “Rise and shine! Ready to go?” Vash frowns, displeased, and says, Urk— Good morning to you too.”
Next, they’re in a room with two beds. Wolfwood is awake and fully dressed. He’s sitting on the bed and smoking, back turned away from the viewer and he says, “Wake up already, sleepyhead.” Vash sits up with his eyes still closed and yawns before saying good morning. After that, they’re sharing a bed, and Wolfwood gets up and says, “Morning, sunshine. Time to get up.” His body shadows Vash from the sunlight. Vash is still lying down with a blanket draped over him as he mumbles good morning.
Finally, they’re embracing in bed, both shirtless. Sunlight shines on them, but their contact allows their shadows to drape over their faces. Vash smiles, kisses the top of Wolfwood’s head, and says, “Good morning, Wolfwood.” Wolfwood sleepily says, “Mph, g’morning, needle-noggin’,” snuggling into on Vash’s shoulder. End ID] ID CREDIT
TRIMAX Vol. 10 Spoilers under read more // bonus comic
[ID: The bonus comic starts with Vash asleep in bed, fully clothed with his hair half-black. Someone says “Good morning,” and Vash says, “Morning, Wolf—w...” He trails off as Livio, holding a plate of food, stares with abject shock.
Livio says, “I’m sorry.” Vash, smiling but sweating, says, “No, it’s my bad...” Livio repeats, “I’m sorry.” Vash says, “Geez, stop apologizing,” and cuts off Livio’s “I—” with a “Good morning, Livio.” Livio quietly mumbles, “... Good morning...”
Vash sits up from the couch he was sleeping on and looks down, thinking, “... That’s right. I won’t wake up to you anymore... I have to get used to that...” End ID]
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Young Justice is always a little...concerned. With Phantom's living situation.
Now they're outright afraid for him, and Bart has decided it's time to Ask An Adult.
It was the little quips. The tiny little things. Stuff that didn't seem to matter to Phantom at all, or appeared to be normal for him, that he didn't realize weren't normal at all.
"Oh, better not hope my mom catches me."
"Doing what, staying out past bedtime?"
"Nah, using my powers; she'd vivisect me!"
"Another stab wound. Great."
"Don't worry Phantom, I've got the med kit-"
"Oh, I'm not a baby or anything, I can handle it just fine. Just gimme a sec to take it out."
"My dad has better aim than that."
"...Like, when he's hunting, right?"
"...At what other times would he be shooting at me?"
"Huh. Not as bad as my parents place. Look; they have a decontamination shower!"
"Phantom, this lab has been vandalized to the point of needing a hazmat suit."
"Did I stutter?"
Finding out each others identities did nothing to soothe the worry. Tim quietly told the others that every time he tried to run facial recognition, he kept hitting a government firewall he couldn't breach. Phantom never told them his last name, just his first, and 'Danny' is super common.
The thing that really did it though, the thing that made Bart snap and run off to ask Max, was when Danny had a nightmare.
He was talking in his sleep.
"No. Don't-stop. Stoooop. I need...my skin. Mom, no. You can't...peel off...my skin..."
Bart didn't even wait for them to wake Danny up before he was standing in front of Max, talking a mile a minute as he tried to figure out what to do, with Wally staring in horror over a plate of waffles as he computed everything that Bart was saying.
~~~~~~
Danny had a dream about his mom and Skulker arguing about how to skin him. He wouldn't really call it a nightmare, because it was just Skulker, but the scariest thing was Skulker insisting to his mom that it was possible to skin him with a potato peeler. Dream mom was arguing that it was not, and that from a scientific standpoint that was a really piss poor way to preserve a specimen.
He hadn't been begging them to stop hurting him, he'd been whining at them to knock it off.
But when he wakes up, it's to a room full of worried friends and an old man who calls himself Max.
"Kid, I think we need to talk."
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Eddie came out to Steve and Robin shortly after he got out of hospital. Robin came out to him first, and she made it clear Steve was accepting of her.
Eddie still worried though, because he knew guys could be just fine with lesbians but still get on the defensive when it came to gay guys existing around them He didn't want to believe that of Steve, not after everything they'd been through together, but he couldn't be sure all the same.
When he did finally manage to get the words out, he tried to sound casual, like it was no big deal, but of course he failed. In a lull in the conversation, Steve still mid-laugh from the last thing Robin said, Eddie just blurted it out. "I'm gay."
Just that. Those two words. Robin sat upright and yelled at him, something along the lines of "Why didn't you tell me before?" but Eddie wass too busy looking at Steve's reaction to answer her.
He watched as Steve's face fell, as the sparkle in his eyes dulled and his brows pulled together. Eddie felt his heart break a little, braced himself for rejection.
"Relax, man," he added, heart racing, saying anything he could think of to make Steve act normal about this. "Don't get your panties in a twist, Harrington. Just because I like guys doesn't mean I'm gonna turn around and hit on you, no offense but you're not my type."
It was a fucking lie, of course. At least partially. Because Steve wasn't Eddie's usual type, but that had stopped mattering the moment Eddie watched him bite that bat in half and it mattered even less with every subsequent interaction they had. The truth was, Eddie had it bad for Steve.
Steve took a moment, expression slowly filtering from whatever his initial reaction had been to something more supportive.
"Gee, thanks," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Good to know." Eddie sighed with relief. Steve reached out and rested a hand on Eddie's shoulder and Eddie did his best not to lean into the touch.
And they don't mention it again.
---
Steve had been trying to work up the courage to ask Eddie out for months. Every time Eddie bumped shoulders with him while they walked, every time he heard the sound of Eddie's guitar through an open window before he knocked on the door, every time they were alone together and Eddie was gesturing wildly talking about something Steve knew nothing about, Steve wanted to kiss him.
It was almost background noise after a while, but when Robin made it clear Eddie knew about her, that he was cool with it, that he'd been supportive, the feeling had exploded into something more.
Steve was embarrassed to say he was probaby just one of Eddie's blinding grins in his direction away from finding a notebook for the express purpose of scribbling the words Steve Munson, SH❤️EM all over the margins.
Maybe he could ask Eddie out, and maybe he wouldn't cut Steve off immediately, but there was a big difference between a girl coming out to you and some guy hitting on you directly, so Steve was waiting for the right time, when he could beat a hasty retreat and maintain some dignity if it went bad.
And then Eddie came out.
Steve felt himself freeze, hope fizzing in his chest as he tried his best not to look too giddy with excitement at the idea. He'd barely processed the words when Eddie said the rest.
No offense, but you're not my type
The hope which had previously started to blossom shrivelled up and died, while Steve stumbled through what he hoped was a supportive response. He wanted to make it clear that Eddie had nothing to fear from him, even while his heart broke.
Eddie liked guys.
Eddie just didn't like him.
Steve had been rejected before, but it had never stung like this.
(part 2)
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