#❛ open starter. / LET US FIGHT LONELINESS . | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nimata-beroya · 3 years

Text

I've watched the episode several times already and I'm still processing it. It was soooooo good. Honestly, it felt like chapter 16.5 of the Mandalorian and not tbobf but I'm not complaining. AT ALL We had over a year (404 days to be exact) since we last saw Din and it was more than fair to have the episode solely focused on him. I think is appropriate since many side characters, including Boba, stole spotlight on season 2 of the Mandalorian.

If I'm honest, this episode went nothing as I imagine it would. For starters, as I said, it was Din's hour to shine. One of my fears was that they were baiting us with Mando appearance to only show him up at the end of the episode. I'm beyond ecstatic that they did the opposite. They were so many Easter eggs, call backs and parallels to different Star Wars content that I'm sure I missed a few.

I've see the opinion of some people, so I'm turning deaf ear to the haters, because right now, I'm very much pleased with the episode. They really pushed the bar higher than never for the last 2 episode. If they keep this up, the coming 2 weeks are going to be EPIC!!

Well, let's get into details. Spoilers below the cut

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh he’s here!! He’s here!! Mando is here!!!!!

And I love that he’s still bounty hunting and not with Bo-Katan. I don’t see those 2 working together for long periods

Din is king kicking ass with the darksaber, but at the same time one can tell that he’s an emotional mess. Out of control and obviously need more saber training. His sadness and loneliness are feeding the kyber crystal badly. That's how it works if memory serves. Something like that is what Kanan told Sabine in rebels right

OUCH!!!! 😖🤕 See what I mean! Hurting yourself is not a good thing Din!

Aaahh the mandalorian main theme intertwined with tbobf theme during the open title 💚❤️🧡🤍

Ok. My lack of Star Wars knowledge shows. Where the hell is he? Is this some easter egg location?

“I’d put that in ice if I were you” 😆

Dank Ferrik! that’s nasty burn 😫😣

Who are you looking for? Mandalorians? The Nevarro covert survivors? At Bo-katan's request?

AAAAAAHH the armorer!!! OOOOHHH!! And Paz!!!!! He’s alive!! Woohoo!!

I bet anything that Paz will challenge Din for the Darksaber

Are you going to tell them you take your helmet off? Bc I don’t think they’ll be happy about it, neither so welcoming

I don’t like the idea of reforging the beskar spear 😞 I liked the idea of Din having it.

AHA!!! Finally! Details of where the children of the Watch were when they survived the purge. Now it makes sense.

Oooooooohhhh flashback! Damn! That was brutal 😣

Yes! Yes, go visit your son!

Loyalty and solidarity could the opposite of the no-attachment Jedi rule, but where those come in when you fail the creed.

Making something for Grogu out of the spear 🥺 oh gawd so many feels!! What did she do, tho? I wanna know!! A chain? And the wrapping resembling grogu? Gawd. They want to kill us with feels 😭😭😭😭

Mando'a!! I'm so happy that they're using it in tbobf since the mandalorian was sorely lacking. Even if it's just counting numbers.

This is such a call back to rebels when Sabine was training with the saber.

The armorer hammering Din on his helmet made me laugh

Persistence without insight will lead to the same outcome

I knew it!! I knew it!! I knew Paz would challenge Din for the saber… and he'll lose.

I love that Din is at least accepting that he's the owner of the darksaber (altho ignoring responsibilities that come with it)

See!! I knew Din was going to win (duh! Obviously! He's a main character) It's nice too see Din and Paz go through a fight till the end. In chapter 3 we were left with the doubt of who would win. Now, we know.

Oh! Here we go. Time for the truth. 😣 Neither the armorer nor Paz will like the answer. And Din, honey, keeping silence won't do you good this time. It won't work.

I knew she was going to do it and yet it hurts all the same listening to the armorer saying Din is Dar'manda. She didn't even ask why he removed his helmet. I mean if that's such an important thing for them, it's only logical to think he took his helmet because something really important, not out of a whim! And idk armorer, kicking out one third of your covert is hardly great to the efforts of rebuilding it!

Omg! Din stripping all his weapons off 😂 it's tragically funny just after being dubbed as no mandalorian.

Oh gawd! He misses his son so much 🥺🥺😭😭😭😭💔💔💔 and having the green rodian kid staring at him it's just a low blow 😭😭😭

Hey! Isn't that Cal kestis' little droid? Or at least of the same model?

Aaaahhh! Peli!! Lol! The droid refusing going after the womp rat(?)

Gawd how i love Peli. Counting the money, seriously? 🤣🤣

Oh poor baby! He wanted his old ship. And that ship looks familiar… easter egg, i guess.

Aha! I knew it!! From attack of the clones.

I must say that Peli thought of everything. She actually thought it through and found the perfect ship with Din's priorities in consideration

Jawa new 🤣🤣🤣

She dated a jawa and they're furry 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Peli not only speaks fros but jawase too? I'd not be surprised if she speaks tusken too

The jawas taking that thing Din asked from the pykes, niiiiiiiiiiice

No astromech but that can be a seat for Grogu!!! Yes ye yes! As if I wasn't sure before, that detail is a clear sign that Grogu will come back. Maybe not in episode 1 of season 3 but sooner than we expect.

I love the Razor Crest and its destruction is a punch to the gut every time I watch that scene. I wish Din still had it, but I must admit that this new ship is growing on me fast.

Din, tasting the ship, is such a call back to the prequels

Ha! A friend. Well, yeah, sorta.

Now it makes sense to me why Fennec knew where to find Din. The end of the previous episode left me wondering how she was keeping tabs on him, but I guess it wasn't on him specifically, but anyone interesting that arrived to Tatooine. Din probably was in Mos Eisley long enough for Fennec to hear gossip about it

Awww Din foregoing payment. He's going to help them as a friend(even if nobody says those words).

See Din, you don't need the narrow-minded armorer nor Paz. You have a nice, welcoming found family that doesn't care if you took the helmet off or not. What's more important, they understand the sacrifice you made. These guys will have your back no matter what, just you have theirs. You don't need anyone else

Awwwww he's going to see Grogu 🥺🥺🥰🥰😭😭🥺🥺🥰🥰

But I have the feeling that we won't see that. It'll happen offscreen and/or save it for mando season 3

#tbobf review #tbobf spoilers #tbobf #the book of boba fett #the mandalorian #chapter 5 return of the mandalorian #chapter 16.5 😆#din djarin #i loooooooooooved it!!

23 notes · View notes

lyricallyinspired · 3 years

Text

Rag’n’Bone Man Lyrics Sentence Starters

(Mostly the two recent albums but some from others under the misc category) Feel free to adjust pronouns and what not where necessary.

Human (2017)

“Got no way to prove it, so maybe I’m lying.”

“Don’t put the blame on me.”

“I’m only human, I do what I can.”

“I’m lost in the suffering for nothing.”

“We bleed ourselves in vain.”

“We can try all over again.”

“Trying to find the root of all that has come between us.”

“All the words you said have been hanging over my hand for some time.”

“Too many years of battle scars and now we’re broken.”

“I can’t accept it’s over now.”

“It’s hard to change a love like this.”

“And I don’t have to say a word to you.”

“I guess that’s how freedom feels.”

“I’m still the man you want.”

“It’s just hard to tell you sometimes.”

“You’ve got to have faith in me.”

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help.”

“It won’t make me love you any less.”

“Don’t hide behind me.”

“You’re strong enough to face the fall.”

“It’s not a weakness, we all have our crosses to bear.”

“Time to come in from the cold.”

“Time to let the truth be told.”

“You were always trying to fill the void, [name].”

“You’re always searching for destruction.”

“Now you bear the scars of the path in which you chose.”

“We need you now more than ever.”

“I said I love you with hesitation.”

“Will I always be defined by my mistakes?”

“I made myself believe there was no fight left in me.”

“I wonder why we give up on love when it’s always within reach.”

“You told yourself it’s a rotten world, didn’t you?”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but someone needs to.”

“All your love keeps me in chains.”

“All your fears keeps me right here.”

“You found me there where I was hiding.”

“I’ll be right here besides you, always be right near you.”

“Remember me, won’t you?”

“I know we’ve all got our problems.”

“It’s a blessing that we made it here this far.”

“If you lay here in these arms tonight, I promise to take you as you are.”

“When I forget everything that I was, all I need was your love.”

“All the weight of my worries and that fears that surround me bear on you too.”

“How can many times can we put ourselves through this war?”

“Don’t ask for my opinion if you can’t face the truth.”

“That’s where you got me wrong.”

“Why do I feel so let down when this is how it’s always been?”

“’Cause when your mind is made up there is nothing I can do to change it.”

“And do you think your time is worth more than mine?”

“Going nowhere, thanks to you.”

“Would it really put you out to make me feel significant?”

Life by Misadventure (2021)

“Don’t let fear be a thorn in your side.”

“Might go away, but you can always come back here.”

“You can scream the house down if it helps.”

“I know who I’m supposed to be.”

“It’s not as crazy as it seems.”

“One day, you’re going to leave me behind.”

“You don’t have to stay ‘til morning.”

“You can leave without a warning.”

“Don’t be scared to hurt my feelings.”

“Don’t stay too long.”

“I don’t want to fall in love again.”

“Don’t cross that line.”

“I know I say I’d rather be alone, but I just got used to being on my own.”

“I’ve been messed up as of late.”

“My heart is running on fumes.”

“I overthink the obvious when I’m alone.”

“There’s nobody left but the two of us.”

“What if we could say that we made it?”

“Nothing here was broken or wasted.”

“It’s a shame that we don’t know what we really have.”

“Tear it down ‘til it’s gone.”

“But we’re just trying to keep the dream alive.”

“Time didn’t give us any warnings.”

“If I could do this myself I wouldn’t ask for your help.”

“Gonna drink ourselves to an early grave.”

“I thought I knew more than I do now.”

“There’s no shame in letting go.”

“Burn your bridges and start again.”

“We should meet somewhere in the middle.”

“I could never give you up.”

“I can’t lie, I put my heart up on my sleeve.”

“I know that if I leave, I’ll return.”

Miscellaneous

“I’ve understood loneliness before I knew what it was.”

“I would be nothing without you holding me up.”

“Now I’m strong enough for both of us.”

“Don’t hide your emotions, you can throw down your guard.”

“We can haunt each other’s dreams.”

“It’s always been just you and me.”

“Let’s take it to the grave.”

‘It’s over and nothing survived.”

“I watched you save your own life.”

“I wish that I took more photographs of us.”

“Just a memory of you is not enough.”

“Last time we met, I saw a change in you.”

“And you got under my skin.”

“What would you do to get to me?”

“Of all the fears that I have faced, you’re the first one I defeated.”

“Sick of the same old people.”

“I’ve shaken off my chains but I still feel those shackles.”

“It won’t be long before I cave and open up the door.”

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp meme #sentence starters #sentence starters meme

28 notes · View notes

nitw · 4 years

Text

book 3′s theme of growing up vs escapism, and what that says about grace and simon’s fates

infinity train book 3 is as much about empathy and morality as it is about maturity. grace and simon deal with the same obstacles in very different ways, and with the last 2 episodes coming out soon, i wanna make an analysis of what we’ve seen so far, and how that might correlate to the ending of each of their arcs. this is gonna be a LOOOOONG post.

the way the first episode opens up blows my mind every time i watch it. implementing the “when i look at you, i see me” song jesse mentioned in book 2, which is all about accepting each other’s differences, in contrast to the chaos of the apex onscreen? amazing. keep in mind that this was a kids’ song that jesse was taught in school, which makes it even better/worse considering the apex is full of small children.

this is where we get our first proper looks at grace and simon this season. let’s talk about grace first:

grace herself was probably the one who turned the fitting room into her personal throne. she dances around cheerfully as she gears up for her mission. it’s already obvious at this point that grace has quite the superiority complex, but to quote the cat much later on; “she’s very full of herself”.

we get a deeper insight on this in episode 3, when she talks to hazel about her loneliness due to difficulty making friends as a kid.

grace tends to pin the blame on others for her problems to ignore how insecure she really feels, which is likely one of the reasons she ended up on the train, and leading the apex sure didn’t help.

she’s also shown to be very manipulative. she’s a smooth talker who knows how to twist her words to make her seem more trustworthy, and can be very controlling of others to get what she wants. as the leader of the apex, she’s learned how to talk to kids, especially.

now let’s get to simon. THESE are the first shots we see of him:

in contrast to grace sitting proudly in her throne room under spotlights, simon spends his time alone in a small, poorly lit toy store which he’s revamped into a workshop for his miniature figures.

this whole opening sequence shows us, in a short amount of time and without dialogue, how different grace and simon really are. initially, grace feels on top of the world and wants everyone else to view her like that too. while simon isolates himself from the apex to focus on his own little hobbies when he’s not going on missions. he doesn’t feel the need to flaunt himself, because he doesn’t have the highest number and he’s not the leader, that’s grace. their individual surroundings paint a good picture of how they feel about themselves.

so what is there to say about simon? for starters, he’s very hot-headed and loses his temper easily when things don’t go his way...

... he has major trust/abandonment issues...

... and he collects miniatures.

why is that last part important? because from the very first shot of him and then several times throughout the season, simon is painted as the more immature and childlike of the duo.

let’s get a few things straight:

grace and simon are both 18 years old, the oldest members of the apex. 18 is usually considered the confusing midpoint of adolescence, not REALLY a kid anymore but not REALLY an adult just yet. but according to themselves, they don’t feel like adults (”never trust an adult passenger”).

they both arrived on the train when they were around 10, aka they’ve been stuck here for roughly 8 years.

IN those years, they’ve been totally misguided and didn’t know the true purpose of the train, which led them to their “this is our personal playground, and if you don’t play along, you’re weak” mentality. this is why they don’t trust denizens/nulls, they don’t see them as anything other than toys.

what i’ve talked about so far is pretty much how we’re introduced to the two: one has a superiority complex, the other has an inferiority complex, but they’re both equally willing players in the apex’s childish game of chaos and destruction.

... and then hazel and tuba happens.

this is in the second episode. what’s the first thing grace does when she initially meets the two? she acknowledges hazel’s bond with tuba and greets them both, despite her dislike towards nulls. she knows she’s good with kids and uses this to her advantage, because she doesn’t want to lose a potential addition to the apex, but the point is that she treats tuba with respect out of consideration for hazel.

meanwhile, in comparison, simon wants absolutely nothing to do with tuba. he doesn’t speak to her once in this scene and only comments on it to grace. the only thing holding him back from fighting tuba is his fear of losing.

this conflict goes on between them for several episodes. grace wants to get rid of tuba as much as simon, but she wants to take the most harmless approach possible for the sake of hazel’s feelings, while simon couldn’t care less about anyone’s feelings but his own:

but as grace naturally begins to question everything she thought she knew, and grows fond of both hazel AND tuba...

... simon becomes more frustrated and impatient, and lets his blind rage overpower him.

and simon knows this.

aside from fear of abandonment, there’s nothing he fears and hates more than being underestimated.

being looked down upon.

being ignored.

being treated like a child.

every season of infinity train is about change, personal development and self-reflection. book 3 is the season of coming to terms with adulthood and maturity, and this goes for both grace AND simon. they’re just on opposite ends of the scale.

grace’s number is high. it’ll take a long time before she manages to leave the train. but she’s made an active decision to be the bigger person, to open up to and trust even what she doesn’t fully understand. and now she’s finally headed in the right direction.

simon isn’t stuck on square 1. he’s falling further and further behind, because he’s too stubborn to grow up and accept the reality of his circumstances.

this show doesn’t really have any heroes, because the goal of our protagonists is to save themselves. but simon is too self-destructive AND destructive towards others, and the path he’s taken is leading him to the closest thing we have to a villain...

... and the events of the most recent episode may have been the last straw.

#leo.txt #long post #grace monroe #simon laurent #inftrain #infinity train #infinity train spoilers

205 notes · View notes

cbsidian · 3 years

Text

CLOSED STARTER ;

BLAKE HAD NEVER been a heavy drinker, but there was always something slightly awkward about being at a party surrounded by drunk people while sipping on water all night. She would be leaving early and didn’t particularly want to go home to Oliver in a drunken state. Mila had left Blake alone at the bar, hopefully not so she could go talk to Mace or see what he was doing, and the wolf let out a gentle huff as she looked around. In an attempt to fight the uncomfortable sudden loneliness, she headed straight for the door to go back inside but stumbled back when the handle slipped from her grip and the door opened from the other side.

“Oh- shit, I-” Blake stuttered an apology, her words catching even more when she looked up to see Gage. “You know, maybe this is the universe telling us to stop avoiding each other.” she laughed nervously, her head glancing downwards as she straightened the skirt of her dress. “I thought you’d be at your bar tonight.”

@recklesseeker-x

#( thread; gage knight. )#( blake & gage 02. )#( muse; blake cassidy. )#( event; nye party. )#( recklesseeker-x. )

3 notes · View notes

ijustwant2write · 4 years

Text

Two Sides-Brock Rumlow x Reader

(GIF credit to @rockbumlow)

Tags: @amirahiddleston @bloodorangemoonlight

Requested by anonymous: 'Hi! Could I please request something with Rumlow? Maybe the reader part of strike but is super shy but it comes across as very aloof and the only reason she’s shy is because she’s nervous around Rumlow?'

Characters: Brock Rumlow x Reader, (there are made up characters in this story too)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Shyness, bullying, self pressure, loneliness, swearing, fluff, sexual tension

(A/N: I got waaaaayy too into this)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ready for another day agent (Y/L/N)?" Matt, a fellow agent asked, way too perky for my liking.

"You ask me that every morning." I dryly said as we stepped into the elevator.

"And I always wait for an answer. I still haven't got one yet."

"We're here for work."

Matt sighed.“You know we’re on the same team right? It wouldn’t hurt to engage in some friendly conversation.”

I didn’t reply, hating that I couldn’t think of anything to say back. I knew it came off as rude, I wasn’t stupid. Despite being able to think on my feet during a mission, map out strategic plans when entering new territory, and making snap decisions when fighting enemy, I could never come up with a conversation starter. It had been a struggle since I was young, though I knew who to blame for that. My parents were strict military people, they didn’t believe that a child needed that nurture in their life as long as they had a routine. Hence why I was in the position I was today, part of the S.T.R.I.K.E team for S.H.I.E.L.D, the one member everyone hated.

As soon as we stepped out of the elevator, Matt spotted other agents he knew, instantly catching up to them. I masked the hurt, following far behind towards the briefing room. We had another big mission coming up, one which was vital to us. If we were successful, we could close this case that had been open for over ten years. Everyone greeted each other in the room, some making an effort with me, others completely blanking me. I didn’t take offence. Instead, I took a seat, flicking through the files handed out to us, already knowing it inside out. There was no social life at home (not that there was much of one for a S.H.I.E.L.D agent anyway), but I always refused the celebratory drink after a mission; I couldn’t risk embarrassing myself, not when I had built my way up through the system.

"Sir your asses down," Rumlow walked in, wearing his usual combat gear like the rest of us,"let's get this over with, we all have the same loathing for paper work."

"Except for (Y/L/N)." someone sniggered, though it was ignored.

Rumlow set up the screen in seconds before beginning. I listened to every word that left his mouth, entranced into the way he spoke. He was just so flawless, a sculpture of a man. His handsome features added to his intimidating stature, and he was able to talk his way out of anything. Training beside him hadn't been too bad either. But like everyone else, I hardly spoke to him, feeling the stuttering and awkward conversation building up in my throat.

"Agent (Y/L/N), can you tell us the intel you found on our killer?" Rumlow called me up front, gesturing for me to take over as he leaned against a wall.

I hated how everyone looked at me. Not just because of the pressure, but I knew how much they hated me when I was in this position, having to listen to the bitch of the group instruct them all; and they were going to hate me even more once I told them what I found.

Holding onto the tablet, I swiped through my research, pulling up a picture of a woman's mugshot on the big screen, causing everyone to be confused.

"So when I was looking on the database for any similar records to our killer, I couldn't find any men. I know that everywhere we have been, the security footage has suggested that it is a man, but upon further inspection, it turns out we were wrong."

Matt interrupted me."You're telling me, that all those agents, including us, were wrong?"

My hands gripped onto the tablet, trying to hide my shaking. Don't back down (Y/N).

"Unfortunately yes. But that's not any of our fault. She has led us in this direction to throw us off the scent."

Matt scoffed, glancing around at the others.

"Just look at the kills," I opened multiple tabs, showing her past work,"I've never seen any men murder people like this. And looking through our database backs that up. I know it may set us back, but I've managed to find quite a few leads on the people that she's worked for."

"All of that work, for nothing." one agent huffed."How could she have got away from us?"

"I have never seen this sort of disguise technology before. And she's a woman, it's easier to not be noticed."

"This is the twenty first century you know, "

"And yet when tasked with finding a killer assassin, you all instantly thought it was a man. I wouldn't be presenting this information if I didn't believe in it."

"Alright, sit down agent." Rumlow nodded, and I practically scurried back to my seat.

My heart was pounding, I had been more scared of that than going into any mission. It was no surprise to me when I caught people glaring, rolling their eyes at me or simply frowning. I had proven that our months of work were a waste of time, we would have to revisit so many sites just to get a basic understanding of this woman. The briefing went on for another hour, discussing how we should change our plans, what the best and fastest course of action would be. Once finished, everyone rushed to leave, though I took my time, not wanting to be stuck in an elevator with them all. As I finally stood, gathering up my folder, Rumlow slowly closed the door.

"You've got some big balls there (Y/L/N)." he chuckled, leaning his elbows on top of a chair.

I stuttered like an idiot."Uh-uh, th-thank you sir?"

"Took a lot of nerve to present that new information, your team wasn't very happy."

I said nothing.

"Give me something to work with agent. You only make it hard on yourself." he wasn't harsh with his tone, but I still found it upsetting.

"It's...I-" I couldn't think of anything to say."It's work."

"It's work, right." he rounded the table to stand in front of me."Just don't think it would hurt to bond with them, at the end of the day, they're your allies, not your enemies."

"Yes sir."

We stood there, staring at each other as if it were a stand off. I felt that I had dissapointed him in the only way I could, by not being a team player. I had never put that as my strongest point, I worked a lot better by myself, but unfortunately, my skills were best used in this team. When he leaned away, I took that as a sign that I was dismissed, quickly leaving.

As I left, I could feel my pulse racing, my throat welling up as if I was about to cry. I loved doing this job, but I found it so hard to make friends, or even be casual with colleagues. All those years growing up in silence, and now it was being used against me. I couldn't let Rumlow down.

As the day went on, the team and I tried to gather as much intel as possible, and all was quiet in the room. Some of them overexaggerating their gestures when flipping through files or typing away. It made me feel more and more small, keeping my head down until this day was over.

"Right, lunch break!" someone called out, making me jump.

They all started to leave, and I heard mumbles of asking me to lunch, though that was followed with disagreement. I followed behind as we piled into the elevator, starting to descend.

"(Y/L/N)," Matt said,"you wanna eat with us today?"

I could see everyone's reflections, no one wanted me there. I opened my mouth to say no, but then I had another idea.

"Yes."

Their expressions changed from annoyance to shock, all exchanging glances. Some chuckled, others hollering and whooping that I was finally joining them. I was still hesitant to go with them, trying to keep up with so many conversations as we made our way to the canteen. They did most of the talking, I was a good listener. It was as if I was in a high school movie, hanging with the popular kids, being allowed to sit at their lunch table.

"So what made you change your mind?" Matt asked as we tucked into our food. Everyone else was involved in other conversations.

"Hm?" I sounded, still having food in my house.

"About coming to lunch with us?"

"Um...I need to be a team player."

"Did boss man say something?"

I looked down at my food.

"You don't have to be scared of him, he can't hear you."

"I...I guess so."

"Are you scared of him?" Matt teased.

"I'm not scared so to speak."

He gasped."You're intimidated, and not because he's the boss!"

I ducked my head."Can you not be so loud?"

He lowered his voice."I've seen the way you look at each other. It's very sexual."

My eyes widened."What?! What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh, she swears! And don't worry, I won't say anything to the others."

"Oh my god, I swear nothing is happening."

"But you wish it would."

"Matt."

He laughed under his breath, hiding it from the others."Hey, we don't get to see a lot of other people outside of work, it gets to you."

I carried on eating, thankful that my turtleneck was hiding my blush. I could have easily stopped it there, closed myself off again. But I was turning over a new leaf, I had to bond with my team, Rumlow had said so.

"OK, you want to know the real reason I'm quiet all the time?" I mumbled.

"Yes! Especially since that was probably the longest sentence I've heard from you."

"I grew up as an only child with really strict parents. And when I say strict, I think that Director Fury would be more of a doting father than mine was. So I've only known how to live a military lifestyle, which is why I'm here, obviously. And I guess, with people who are in charge, I feel like I can't dissapointed them. That's why I do so much extra work, not because I'm sucking up to Rumlow like you lot say. If I dissapoint, I get punished."

"Punished?"

"It's so stupid I know. But that's all I did for my parents. Work, work, work until they're happy. And we are one of the best teams within this whole organisation, it's only natural that we have to get good results."

"You out way too much pressure on yourself. You could never do anything wrong. I mean, did Rumlow yell at you for throwing away all of our work this morning?"

I ignored his jab."I guess not."

"Exactly. You know what, I'm starting to like you."

As the end of the day, I headed to the changing rooms to get into my gym clothes, ready for an evening workout. I had thought about lunch and how surprisingly well it went. Just as I was removing my jewellery, I heard two other people enter, thinking nothing of it until I heard my name.

"Did you see (Y/N) earlier?" a girl said, I couldn't recognise the voice.

"Yeah, how weird was it to see her with other people?" her friend replied.

"I actually started believing those rumours about her being a robot."

They giggled. I heard them shut their lockers, footsteps heading towards me. Quickly opening my locker, I used the door to block my face. Luckily they didn't see me, and I only closed it again when I was completely certain they were gone.

Don't let it get to you, not anymore.

Once the coast was clear, I carried my water bottle and towel into the training centre, heading straight towards the treadmills to warm up, when someone called my name.

"Quickly warm up," Rumlow instructed,"I need someone to spar with."

He was by the punching bags, going back to his workout. I stood there, surprised by the demand in his voice. Realising I was just stood there staring, I slowly turned around to get on the treadmill. Beginning the steady jog, I could feel my palms become sweaty, though not from the exercise. Was this a test? Or was he wanting to remind me who I was, put me in my place?

You haven't done anything to piss him off, idiot.

Not wanting to waste his time, I stopped running, the treadmill slowing down beneath my feet. Making my way towards him, I tried to big myself up in my mind, grow my confidence in a matter of steps; it shattered as soon as Rumlow looked at me.

"Come on then." he jabbed at my arm, stepping onto the sparring mat.

I took a deep gulp, almost tiptoing onto the mat. He had his arms up in a defensive stance, and I copied, bracing myself for impact. As we slowly circled, trying to figure out the others tactic. Some feeling in me surged, and I boldly threw the first punch. He easily blocked it, though I was able to get a jab at the stomach. We both tried hitting each other, achieving some as well as blocking. I got braver with every movement, managing to trip him over, though I followed soon after as he pulled me down with him.

We were rolling all over the place, both struggling to take control. I groaned, using my shouting to make my attacks stronger. But this was tiring, Brock was a great fighter, hence why he was in charge of the team. The day had been so emotionally training, and like an idiot, I was letting it get the better of me.

"Alright," Brock chuckled as I managed to gain control, tapping my arm,"that was a good fight."

I didn't ease off at first, wondering if it was a trick. When he stayed still, I slowly climbed off him, only to be flipped onto my back, Brock smirking over me, with a wild look in his eye that was doing things to me.

"Go to dinner with me." he blurted out.

My eyes widened."W-what?"

"You heard me."

"Uh-uh, sir I-"

"Just one date, that's all I'm asking. And before you say anything about work protocol, I say fuck it."

I could feel his grip loosening on me, and once again, I pushed him so he was the one lying down. However, I wasn't pinning him down the way we had been trained; luckily for me, no one else was in the room, and I was able to straddle him, hands resting on his firm chest.

What the fuck (Y/N), you can't just act out your fanatasties in the gym?!

"Pick me up at seven on Saturday. Surprise me." I confidently said, though I felt that I could faint at any moment.

He bit his lip, that seductive motherfucker."Your attitude has changed in a day."

"Do you like it?"

I hadn't meant to sound sexual, I was genuinely asking.

"So far, so good. Hopefully I'll get to see more of this on Saturday."

I stood up keeping a leg either side of his waist, looking down at him."You're very presumptuous. Don't get too confident just yet sir."

Saying nothing more, I walked back over to my water bottle and towel, purposely bending over as I knew he was still watching. I didn't even glanced over my shoulder as I left. But once I was out of sight, I let out the quick, heavy breaths from my mouth, sounding like I was hyper ventilating. Who was that back there? It certainly wasn't me! Where had that come from and where had that confidence been all my life? But the rush, the thrill of teasing him, that was amazing! Knowing that he wanted me, and that I wanted him, but still denying his advances. I had missed out on this my whole life. All I knew was that on Saturday, I wasn't going to hold back any more.

#brock rumlow #brock rumlow one shot #brock rumlow x reader #brock rumlow imagines #brock rumlow imagine #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel cinematic universe #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #marvel one shot #marvel x reader

133 notes · View notes

dennou-translations · 4 years

Text

Kagerou Daze VIII: Chapter 8

Children Record -side No.7-

Please feel free to message me about possible corrections. If you can, consider supporting the creators by purchasing the official releases in Japanese or in English. In case anyone is feeling generous: Ko-fi | PayPal. ( ╹◡╹)っ’･*

← Previous || Index || Next →

If “not forgetting” was the prerequisite for “having memories”, what was a “memory” once forgotten called?

I roamed my thoughts, not telling anyone about the “recollections” that I seemed dangerously close to losing.

The “goodbyes” that seemed to burn our chests, the miraculous “reunions”, the “future” that we’d reached our hands out to while readying ourselves for certain death – no matter how much we cherished them, it’d be a disappointment if we ended up forgetting everything.

“Forgetting” didn’t leave even loneliness behind. As if nothing had ever existed from the very beginning, the forgotten recollection would lose even the name “memory” and be gone without a trace. It was an utterly absurd story. No matter how dear our memories were to us, we couldn’t build a fence around them. We would fail to recall even the reasons to try remembering “memories” that were truly forgotten.

Right, we were there because we’d been “continuously forgetting”. By stepping over the dead bodies of memories that we couldn’t remember, we were moving forward one way or another.

That was the only thing I didn’t want to forget.

“He~y, you awake?” an insensitive voice echoed through the madder-red-dyed classroom.

Sitting in the last row next to the window and having been watching the slowly darkening diorama-like cityscape, I turned toward the owner of the voice. Illuminated by sunset glow, Ayano’s face was openly peeking at me from the seat in front of mine.

For starters, it was all too questionable that the concept of “sleep” would exist in this ambiguous world, where we were both alive and dead, so I wondered if she was joking.

No, that was suspicious. She didn’t seem to be thinking anything.

“There anyone who sleeps with their eyes closed?” as I asked rudely, I turned back to the cityscape out the window.

At the corner of my line of sight, Ayano shrank back a little. Seeing her that way, it looked to me like Ayano had started to get a slight inkling of things. I wasn’t trying to be mean to her or anything, but to be frank, I was irritated.

“C-Could it be... you’re angry at me for not going to you for advice?” Ayano asked with upturned eyes, stirring lightly in dread.

“About what?”

“Erm, like... I came over here by myself without asking for your opinion.” Hanging her head after saying so, Ayano flickeringly peeked at my complexion.

Well, she was mostly right.

At the very least, I didn’t hate her. She’d seemed friendly with me for some reason, and it hadn’t been just one or two times that I’d watched over her studies. Of course, given that we were a guy and a girl, I thought it was appropriate for each of us to keep a secret or two from one another. But even if that much was okay, as friends, I totally thought we had a relationship where one could rely on the other and be relied on whenever we were faced with great distress.

Still, this.

Hn, well~, there sure are things about her that I’ve never heard of from the Mekakushi-dan guys! Why, she went around on her own to investigate Clearing, and dear me, all her younger siblings had superhuman abilities, so she tried to enter Kagerou Daze alone after making up her mind – the more I dig, the more bargain sales I get of stuff I was never told before.

No, it wasn’t like I was vexed that she had kept it all a secret from me, or that I wanted to know Ayano through and through, or anything of the sort. Absolutely not. It’s just that, as her friend, I felt resentment at how she had done things in a reckless way without taking herself into consideration.

When I glanced at her, Ayano reacted to my gaze and her body shrank back uneasily.

Dammit... Acting like a little puppy...!

Trying to take advantage of my conscience would get her nowhere. Who knew how badly my heart had ached because of her during these two years?

Other men might end up easily forgiving you, but Shintarou-san isn’t the kind of skirt chaser who’d yield to that. Shintarou-san’s been severe lately.

“Well, things are the way they are. Even if I judge you at this point of the game, there’s no helping them.”

How regretful. Shintarou-san does wind up easily forgiving a girl when she fidgets at him.

Perhaps thinking that I was going to scold her or something, Ayano stared blankly at me for a bit, and then gave a faint smile, looking apologetic. “You’re as nice as ever. That’s why you ended up here, Shintarou.”

“Shaddap. You’re the same as me, aren’t you?” leaving my inward gags aside, I used rude language to dodge the embarrassing mood.

My bodily sense of time told me that it had been approximately one or two days ever since I was swallowed by Kagerou Daze. Still, in an environment where I could get neither sleepy nor hungry, there was probably not much meaning in relying on body sensations.

According to Haruka-senpai, there was a huge gap between here and outside regarding the flow of time. I had a rough idea of it from listening to Hibiya talk about how “the same day had repeated over and over”, and sure enough, there was no logic or reason to it. It indeed didn’t seem like I had been wrong about this being a world removed from common sense.

“But I was really surprised. To think Shintarou would be fighting together with everyone.”

“I was the last person who could’ve imagined something like that. Working my ass off to read deep into things for someone else’s sake just isn’t like me...”

“Nope, you’re wrong. I don’t know why, but I’ve always felt that it’d turn out like this. That Shintarou would do his best to protect everyone.” Ayano added, “That’s why I couldn’t tell you anything” at the end, shying out.

So she had expected that I’d fight.

Well, it wouldn’t not be inevitable that I’d get myself involved in this as long as Momo was an Ability User, but she shouldn’t know that Momo was an Ability User in the first place. If so, I couldn’t believe right off the bat that she had anticipated things would turn out like this, since I was “someone unrelated” to her in the end.

Hm. Wait a minute. Hahaan, don’t tell me...

“Could this be consolation for a ‘non-Ability-User’ like me?”

By some sort of karma, everyone I’d been involved with in high school had become an Ability User. Yet I was the only one who was still a newborn Bambi until now. I didn’t think hatefully of that, but I wondered if she didn’t think of me as inconvenient, since I was the sole person who hadn’t gotten his hands on an Ability out of our group of four friends.

Regardless, Ayano responded to my sarcasm-mixed words by shaking her head furiously. “I-I’m serious! I saw Shintarou fighting even in my dreams!”

“Hoh, what kinda dream was that?”

“Erm. One where Shintarou was standing coolly in front of everyone and flashily defeating the boss. You were wearing a bright red full-body unitard with the sunset on your back, saying, ‘Sorry for the wait! Here’s the unmatched super hero!’ and swinging an iron ball with a chain...”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!! What sorta perverted bastard is that?!! That ain’t related to Abilities by a single millimeter, and actually, it didn’t become true at all, did it?!”

Halfway tending to trip, Ayano, who had been imagining me swinging around an iron ball, abruptly returned to reality. “That’s true. Gee, I wonder if it was in a different dream...”

“More like, just how often have you dreamed of me...?”

It was repulsive to think that I played an active role inside her brain clad in a transformation suit of sorts. Nevertheless, Ayano herself said something spine-chilling, like, “M-Might’ve been pretty often...” with her face turning red for some reason.

“B-But y’know, there are many Eye Abilities, so it’s not weird that there’s a power like sharing a future, is it?”

“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised no matter what comes up at this point, but are you the Ability User who can see this future?”

“No way! I’m totally not that!” resolutely denying it, Ayano made an X using her arms with a smack.

“Then isn’t this theory a bust?! Don’t try to justify the version of me that’s haunting your brain. First things first, take off the unitard!”

“Eeh?! If the unitard is off, the cool part is gone...”

“Eh, then wasn’t I unnecessary from the start?”

How tiring.

Aah, I was remembering it. You’d need a huge amount of effort to talk to her; about as much as when talking to Ene. It was a meaningless conversation, almost as if we were speaking just for the sake of “speaking”... Not knowing to settle her tone down even after dying made her a terrifying fellow.

But these aren’t pointless conversations like the ones of back then, I guess.

Precisely because she had died, she had played a major role in the fight of the outside world. As proof of this, she earlier had talked about what had been concerning her for a bit.

Praying that it wouldn’t be a fruitless conversation, I opened my mouth, “Just now, you said your Ability isn’t the power to see the future, right?”

“Ah, yup. I did.”

“Then, what Ability did you get?”

Silence.

“Aah, that’s right! I had to talk about it!!” Pushing the chair with a clatter, Ayano stood up all of a sudden with vehement vigor.

“Hyan!!” and I, exceptionally surprised by it, fell backward while letting out an uncanny cry. Splendidly hit the back of my head. If this weren’t the inside of Kagerou Daze, it would’ve been an accidental homicide.

“Uwaah! Sorry, sorry! Well, about the Abilities...”

“W-Wait a minute, your tempo is too fast; at least lemme fix up the chair.” I frantically got up from the floor, putting the chair back in place with a rattle.

Just trying to have a proper conversation with her was that exhausting. Most likely, by the time she finished introducing the topic, my soul would have eroded and disappeared.

“Well, then.”

“Yeah.”

We pulled ourselves together and re-started the conversation.

“I think it’s better for me to begin explaining from the time I came to this world... to Kagerou Daze.”

“Sure. Got any confidence that you can explain it decently?”

“N-Not much, but... I’ll do my best.”

That’s the spirit. Let’s hear it.

“See, it’s about the day... when I did that thing on the rooftop.”

“W-Wait a minute. Can’t you stop talking this way? It’s too lighthearted, kinda like—”

“Geez~, and here I’d finally come up with a good explanation! Be quiet and listen!” Ayano flat and moderately hit the desk.

She was mad at me. I listened in silence.

“Right after I entered Kagerou Daze... I met a girl named Azami.”

“Azami”. The originator who had birthed the Abilities and the first victim of Clearing’s plot.

I used to have no idea about what had happened to Azami herself after she transferred Abilities to people on the outside, but this meant that she had been staying in Kagerou Daze while retaining her consciousness. I couldn’t think that Ayano would lie on purpose. If they had met, then that was probably the case.

“She was really weak. Until that point, she’d been existing as a spiritual body with the power of Stirring, which she gave to Takane-san, but then it was gone too, so it seemed she was at her limit.”

“I... see. So Enomoto became Ene after that.”

“Yep, yep. My, how can I put it...? Takane-san got a-all bright after that, huh?” Ayano seemed to be choosing her words most carefully out of respect for our senior, but as expected, the strain at the edge of her lips didn’t fool anyone.

Rejoice, Enomoto; your dear junior saw it all.

Perhaps having noticed my grin, Ayano said, “L-Let’s leave that aside” and resumed the talk, tending to tumble. “After losing her physical and spiritual body, Azami had only one power left. That was the Ability I received,” saying so, Ayano pointed at the corner of her eye.

“The last one... I also didn’t know about this.”

The “Ten Abilities” cited in Azami’s diary were mostly referenced by name. However, no matter how many times I counted, there were only nine names in it. Those nine Abilities applied to the powers residing in the people outside. In other words, the one residing inside Ayano was the Tenth Ability, which hadn’t been listed in the diary.

Tapping with the finger that was aimed at herself, Ayano spoke with slightly wavering words, “This is a bit of a weird Ability. It’s got a nature that’s a little different from the other Abilities, so to say; it’s an Ability that sprouted from Azami’s ‘heart’, like... Would you understand if I say it’s a power created from the feeling of ‘wanting to convey’?”

“Nope, don’t get it at all.”

“Thought so.” Ayano exhaled a prolonged sigh with a “haah~”.

My, you sure are doing your best for someone so bad at explaining stuff.

“Ah, that’s right. Then wouldn’t it be better if I did it like this?”

One instant.

Almost as if shaded with sunset glow, Ayano’s dark brown hair was pregnant with a dense orange color. That was the activation of an Ability, which I had witnessed countless times. Still, the “sense of pressure” that seemed to be released from Ayano’s two eyes was nearly non-existent.

“Y’see, I think it’ll probably the easiest way for you to understand if I do it like this... Can you accept it?”

Ayano’s words and the movements of her lips incited a natural nod from me.

“Thank you. Then, I’ll ‘convey’ it to you, ‘kay?”

The color that appeared to be swaying inside her irises flared up all the more intensely. Unable even to blink, I simply surrendered my body to the persuasiveness of those orbs.

“Favoring Eyes.”

I was in a dark place. There was no right, left, up or down. It wasn’t cold or hot.

It was that kind of place.

“You’ll disappear, won’t you, Azami?” a voice rang throughout the complete darkness. Even if I chased for the voice’s owner, I couldn’t find her.

And there was one more voice. It came closer as if to nestle with me, word overlapping upon word, “Yeah. I am glad I could talk to someone like you in my last moments. More than anything, I am sorry for not having been able to do a single thing for you all until the very end. Truly, I am sorry...”

“I don’t want you to cry, ‘cause I’m also holding back from doing it.”

“I-I am not crying. It was just snot that came out. Besides... my ‘memory’ has already been delivered to your heart, right?”

“Yep, it has. Azami, I’ve definitely received your ‘memory’. That’s why I’m not lonely anymore.”

“Is that so? Then I am relieved. In the future, this ‘memory’ might be useful for something. The ‘memory’ is not me but the precious ‘feelings’ I had when I was alive.”

“Really, you’re right. I can understand your ‘memory’... as if it were my own. You’ve been doing your best to live on for such a very long time, huh, Azami?”

“Ugh... hic...”

“Aah, sorry. I didn’t say it out of thinking about making you cry.”

“That’s not it; that’s not it at all. It’s just... I’ve never even dreamed that someone would say something like this to me.”

“You’re a real crybaby, Azami. It’s okay; ‘cause I-I... surely won’t forget...

“What, but aren’t you also crying?”

“E-Ehehe. We’re together on this, huh?”

Silence.

“It is already time. Lastly... I will leave this with you.”

“Egh...”

“It is my ‘heart’... the power named ‘Favoring’. It is the power to convey ‘feelings’ and ‘memories’... Surely, if it’s you...”

“Hic... u-ueeh...”

“Welcome back. Did it get properly conveyed?”

“Yeah, it did.”

The color of the classroom dyed in scarlet was unfading, softly enveloping my consciousness as I was pulled back. It wasn’t like I’d been “shown” or “told” anything, yet a memory of Azami and Ayano’s encounter found itself inside my head as if it were logical.

“Shintarou, could it be you’re crying?”

“I ain’t crying. It’s just snot that came out.”

Ayano stared at my face for a bit, and perhaps realizing the meaning of those words, she gave me a shy smile.

I started thinking about Ayano.

The environment encircling her when she was still alive was wretched to the point of making me sick. To think that she had lost her precious mother, that her father – who used to be her only foundation – went through a transformation, and that her siblings and school seniors were taken as hostages. It wasn’t the kind of story that would only go as far as making your insides boil.

And so, Ayano had jumped from the rooftop, entering Kagerou Daze through cutting her own life short. Kano had made guesses about it; that as a result of linking her mother’s notes to Clearing’s plans, she had probably thought she could hinder Clearing’s plot of “gathering Abilities to make a Medusa” if she got her hands on one of the Ten Abilities.

Through my meeting with the Mekakushi-dan guys and connecting the pasts that each of them had talked about, I had arrived to the true motives behind Ayano’s actions. I had been accompanied by inevitable rage. That was why I’d sustained myself on that rage and fought. I’d been beating the hell of out this shitty world, which had been making people like them – who were living in desperation – into fools, pushing ridiculous absurdity onto them, and trying to rob them of even their future.

And the outcome of that fight was as one could see.

There wasn’t a single means of salvation, and neither was any miracle going to happen. The plan I’d come up with through milking my brains out also hadn’t served to save everybody. There was really nothing more worthless than the fact that, if there was just one thing I could do, it was to talk to my dead friends.

Nevertheless, even if I died, even if I rotted, there was one truth that I couldn’t escape from. Outside of Kagerou Daze, the Mekakushi-dan guys were even now fighting against the enemy. Just because I’d died, there was no way I alone could put an end to it on my own accord. And it seemed I wasn’t the only one thinking so.

Ayano and I looked into each other’s eyes, and as if confirming one another’s wills, we exchanged words.

“Must keep it up until the end, huh?”

“Yeah, it ain’t over yet.”

At Ayano’s unfaltering words, I was convinced of one thing. Most likely, she and I were imagining the exact same conclusion for this battle.

In the first place, this fight had pre-existing conditions thrust into it from the beginning. The enemy was an immortal Ability itself, and the only one who could control it – the Medusa – didn’t exist in this world. So long as the enemy was immortal, if Mary didn’t turn into a Medusa and make it powerless, the Ability Users would all be brutally killed, no matter how much they ran or tried to buy time. Still, for Mary to become a Medusa, she had to draw the Abilities out of the Ability Users.

In other words, from the very start, the development where all of us would survive didn’t exist in this battle.

It was a cruel story that nothing could be done about, but it was the “reality” of this struggle. As long as we couldn’t all survive together, we couldn’t puff out our chests and claim that “we won”. And, albeit being aware of these prerequisites, everyone from the Mekakushi-dan had thrown themselves into the fight.

If only we’d managed to figure everything out sooner, faster.

It was too late for being frustrated over that or anything else at this point. Because, right now, everything had come to the moment just before the end.

Still, there was only one thing. It was a mere possibility, but there was something left in our hands. It was liable to turn out as meaningless, but if we hadn’t fought, we would never have been able to get our hands on it. Just as there was no “victory” for us in this battle, as long as we had that thing, there was also no “defeat”.

After all, the goal we carried was not to “win”.

“I left just one thing behind on the other side,” saying so, I took a cellphone out of my jersey’s pocket, put it on the desk and tilted my neck at Ayano.

“A phone? I think it won’t connect with the other side, though...”

“If you think on ordinary terms, that’s how it’d be. Except, there’re guys who ‘ain’t normal’ on the other side.”

It didn’t even serve as an all-or-nothing, and it seemed suspicious that it’d be as much as a one-in-a-million chance; that was the kind of bet it was. And even if it became true, that didn’t mean it could knock down the enemy. Simply for the sake of grasping an “extension”, I’d entrusted one last wish to that girl.

“Even if you thought it out, you normally wouldn’t do something like that.” Perhaps having understood my anticipations, Ayano gave me a strained smile.

“I might’ve stopped being ‘normal’ too.”

Seen from the sidelines, me betting my own life not for the sake of surviving or fighting, but merely for “choosing”, probably came off as an abnormality. And so, I ruminated inside my mind for our clichéd purpose, which we had decided upon in that hideout.

Our child-like objective of “not giving up on the future no matter what”.

#kagerou project #kagepro #mekakucity actors #kagerou daze #kisaragi shintaro #kisaragi shintarou #tateyama ayano #shinaya #azami #summer time reload #jin #novel #my translation

47 notes · View notes

gladlyrphelper · 4 years

Text

BRING ME THE HORIZON // POST HUMAN: SURVIVAL HORROR a lyric sentence starters meme from the post human: survival horror EP. please change pronouns / punctuation & such as needed!

DEAR DIARY ❝i don’t know what’s going on but something’s up.❞ ❝every channel is the same - it’s sending me insane.❞ ❝god is a shithead and we’re his rejects.❞ ❝i can’t stomach anymore survival horror.❞ ❝i keep fading in and out.❞ ❝i don’t know where i’ve been.❞ ❝tv say there’s no more human race.❞ ❝what sad my whole entire existence been a waste.❞ ❝it’s not the end of the world. oh, wait.❞

PARASITE EVE ❝don’t breathe on me.❞ ❝i’m a believer in nobody.❞ ❝won’t let me leave ‘cause i’ve seen something.❞ ❝we just need to fear something.❞ / ❝we just wanna scream something.❞ ❝only pretending to feel something.❞ / ❝only pretend to believe something.❞ ❝i know you’re dying to run.❞ / ❝i know you’re baying for blood.❞ ❝i wanna turn you around.❞ ❝the end has arrived.❞ ❝we cannot save you, enjoy the ride.❞ ❝this is the moment you’ve been waiting for.❞ ❝don’t call it a warning.❞ / ❝don’t call it a warning, this is a war.❞ ❝got a feeling in your stomach ‘cause you know that it’s coming for you.❞ ❝leave your flowers and grieve - don’t forget what they told you.❞ ❝when we forget the infection, will we remember the lesson?❞ ❝will we remember the lesson?❞ ❝if the suspense doesn’t kill you, something else will.❞ ❝quarantine all of those secrets in that black hole you call a brain before it’s too late.❞ ❝you can’t keep washing your hands of this shit anymore.❞ ❝life is a prison and death is the door.❞

TEARDROPS ❝we hurt ourselves for fun.❞ ❝force feed our fear until our hearts go numb.❞ ❝addicted to a lonely kind of love.❞ ❝i wanna know how we got this stressed out, paranoid.❞ ❝everything is going dark.❞ ❝nothing makes me sadder than my head.❞ ❝i’m running out of teardrops.❞ ❝let it hurt til it stops.❞ ❝i’m slipping away from me.❞ ❝everything is so fucked but i can’t feel a thing.❞ ❝the emptiness is heavier than you think.❞ ❝if you hear me, i guess you know how it feels.❞ ❝i guess you know how it feels to be alone.❞ ❝lost my halo, now i’m my own antichrist.❞

OBEY ❝another day, another post-traumatic order.❞ ❝brainwashed and feeling fine.❞ ❝i bit off more than i could chew when i looked closer.❞ ❝think i’m losing my fucking mind.❞ ❝destroy yourself, it feels so good to fade away.❞ ❝don’t let your conscience get in the way.❞ ❝obey, we hope you have a lovely day.❞ ❝obey, you don’t want us to come out and play.❞ ❝there’s nothing to see here; it’s under control.❞ ❝we’re only gambling with your soul.❞ ❝don’t wake up and smell the corruption.❞ ❝another day, another systematic nightmare.❞ ❝should i die for something else?❞ ❝i let my conscience get in the way.❞ ❝your freedom is lethal.❞ ❝you call yourselves peaceful.❞ ❝you monsters are people.❞ ❝i’m gonna show you how i behave.❞ ❝it’s nicer when you can’t see the chains.❞

ITCH FOR THE CURE (WHEN WILL WE BE FREE?) ❝i know why you’re here.❞ ❝you’re fed up of the fear.❞ ❝sick of the fantasy world they’ve built up so you never see clear.❞ ❝something is coming unplugged.❞ ❝there’s a glitch in your trust.❞ ❝you’ve got an itch for the cure.❞ ❝you’re scared to walk out the door.❞ ❝i’m here to tell you there’s a universe that lives without law.❞ ❝you keep asking yourself: when will we be free?❞

KINGSLAYER ❝hi, are you looking for the other side?❞ ❝feel like nothing ever seems quite right?❞ ❝i need to know where your loyalties lie.❞ ❝tell me, are you gonna bark or bite?❞ ❝do you really want to twist the knife in the belly of the monster?❞ ❝wipe the system and back the fuck up.❞ ❝when they cut your strings off, don’t come crawling back.❞ ❝i’d sacrifice my life to find you.❞ / ❝i’d sacrifice it all to guide you.❞ ❝come and collect us from the night.❞ ❝this world is so dark that i can’t see.❞ ❝the future won’t disappear.❞ ❝i want to obtain another world.❞ ❝life is encrypted - you are modified.❞ ❝artificial ‘til the day you die, silly program: you’re corrupted.❞ ❝now let’s go and open the door of time.❞ ❝i’ll fight for you until i die.❞ ❝this is your wake up call.❞

1X1 ❝the sun don’t shine in the place i’ve been.❞ ❝why you keep acting like i don’t exist?❞ ❝i feel like i’m ready to die, but i can’t commit.❞ ❝i ask myself: when will i learn?❞ ❝i’d set myself on fire just to feel the burn.❞ ❝i’m scared that i’m never gonna be repaired.❞ ❝my mind feels like an archenemy.❞ ❝i don’t know what hurts the most; holding on or letting go.❞ ❝reliving my memories and they’re killing me one by one.❞ ❝sabotaged myself again.❞ ❝got a brain like a hurricane.❞ ❝got me sinking to a dark place.❞ ❝think i’m looking at a long night all alone.❞ ❝annihilation never looked so good.❞ ❝hush your mouth, you talk too much.❞ ❝the voices in my head say i’m just being paranoid.❞ ❝it’s bad for my health - how much i hate myself.❞

LUDENS ❝some resist the future.❞ / ❝some refuse the past.❞ ❝a world covered in cables was never wired to last.❞ ❝don’t get so surprised when the program starts to crash.❞ ❝how do i form a connection when we can’t even shake hands?❞ ❝you’re like a phantom greeting me.❞ ❝we plot in the shallows.❞ / ❝hang out in the gallows.❞ ❝do you know why the flowers never bloom?❞ ❝will you retry or let the pain resume?❞ ❝we need a new leader.❞ / ❝i need a new luden.❞ ❝come outside, it’s time to see the tide.❞ ❝it’s out of sight but never out of mind.❞ ❝but soon the sting will pass.❞ ❝names can dig so many graves you won’t know where to stand.❞ ❝i don’t feel secure no more unless i’m being followed.❞ ❝the only way to hide myself is to give ‘em one hell of a show.❞ ❝you call this a connection?❞ / ❝you call this a connection? give me a break.❞

ONE DAY THE ONLY BUTTERFLIES LEFT WILL BE IN YOUR CHEST AS YOU MARCH TOWARDS YOUR DEATH… ❝on the verge of no return, why’d you keep fucking it up?❞ ❝don’t wanna have to bury you.❞ ❝one day the only butterflies left will be in your chest.❞ ❝one day the only butterflies left will be in your chest as you march towards your death.❞ ❝tell me, how’s it gonna feel without my arms wrapped around you?❞ ❝bet it feels pretty real when your skin starts to peel from the bone.❞ ❝you were dead to the world, now i’m dead to you.❞ ❝haunting your own house - nothing to lose.❞ ❝past the point of rescuing, why’d i keep pushing my luck?❞ ❝the hole i wore into your soul has got too big to overlook.❞ ❝one day the only butterflies left will be in our chests.❞ ❝one day the only butterflies left will be in our chests as we march towards your death.❞ ❝i thought we had a future but we ain’t got a chance in hell.❞ ❝you know you can’t breathe on your own.❞ ❝you know i can’t breathe on my own.❞ ❝how can you breathe on your own?❞ / ❝how can i breathe on my own?❞ ❝the sun is setting on our love, i fear.❞ ❝letting our loneliness out into the atmosphere.❞ ❝the tide is turning on our chance to turn it round.❞

#rp memes #role play memes #ask meme #rp meme #role play meme #meme #memes #mod pluto

18 notes · View notes

deadwatcrs · 4 years

Photo

⟨ tom holland , non-binary demiboy , he/they , 22 ⟩ there goes ARTHUR ‘ARTIE’ HART after the opposing team’s flag , the child of APHRODITE who was claimed to CABIN TEN eleven years ago . wielding their SPEAR , and their inherited TELEPORTATION at the ready , they’re sure to lead their team to victory . after all , it was their demigod prowess that proved to be vital during the arduous and decisive JOURNEY TO FIND DAEDALUS AND THE MAP OF THE LABYRINTH ( demigod 18 ) they ventured on in the past . don't let their feat fool you though , it was during this quest that they were challenged by their FEAR OF ABANDONMENT AND LONELINESS . perhaps that is the reason they've chosen to side with the titan army .

hello hello !!! so excited to be here with everyone :-) !!! i’m mira, i’m 20, i use she/her pronouns nd i live in the gmt+8 zone, so u can expect me awake when no one else is KJEHHSEJK i’ve been a fan of pjo since like,,,, i was 12 nd was literally convinced i was a demigod so u can imagine !!!! that when i saw this rp i was like !!!! [screams]

anyways !! this is arthur ‘artie’ hart nd they are New so i’m still working out a lot of their story, but im v excited to see where they’ll go :-) i have a few connections regarding his story nd also just ,, slapped som stuff down from the app into here HEKJHESJK

PART ONE. THE BASICS.

name: arthur ‘artie’ hart. prefers to go by artie, as arthur is what his aunt calls him. age: twenty-two. zodiac: born on july 21st, 1999, making him a cancer sun, scorpio moon and leo rising. gender & pronouns: nonbinary demiboy. uses he/him and they/them pronouns. romantic orientation: bisexual.

PART TWO. THE HIDDEN DEPTHS, THE SCRATCHED LAYER.

positive traits: compassionate / perceptive / mild-mannered. negative traits: pessimistic / evasive / easily jealous. mbti: ENFJ - the protagonist. moral alignment: chaotic good. what is their motivation?: artie is motivated, primarily, by the desire to never find themselves abandoned and alone. growing up with an absent goddess of a mother, a mother deep in her memories of a lover she’ll never see again and an aunt who tried to give them a foundation to grow from meant that their life was more or less marred by the concept of loneliness, of abandonment.

artie wants, more than anything else, for no future demigods to feel the same way they did — and if that means tearing down olympus and getting rid of the gods, then they were willing to turn the other cheek, to contribute bare bones to take on the least amount of blood and ichor. aphrodite had never made a move to acknowledge him other than the obligatory favor of claiming him as her child, and the knowledge that she too had abandoned him pushed him to the side of the titans.

the choice to do the bare minimum is rooted in the fact that they are still very much attached to camp half-blood and everyone within it, as they had been there for half their life. it is a decision rooted in wanting the best for the camp and its campers even if the decision is a difficult one. after all, what have the gods ever done for the hundreds of children they’ve brought into the world?

what was growing up like?: for starters, artie appreciates that his aunt tried. their mother was far too wrapped up in memories of a lover long gone, and aphrodite had never once made an effort beyond dropping them off at their mother’s doorstep and then claiming them as her child eleven years later. growing up was difficult. like any demigod child, there were instances that could never be explained, like the time artie was in his room one minute and the living room the next without ever having touched his closed door and the time his backpack was torn to shreds while he was still wearing it. still, they had to push through childhood, often seeking comfort in the arms of their aunt when the monsters got too close. at eleven, a satyr brought artie to camp half-blood after discovering their teleportation ability (it was a stupid incident, and one artie is reluctant to tell again, but it ends with falling asleep while their foot was in a toilet bowl while walking to class).

camp half-blood was a haven for artie as their heritage was unraveled. aphrodite claimed him a week after he arrived at camp, and he was immediately drawn to the change in lifestyle. it was a relief for all the pieces to fall into place, for artie to realize that they weren’t different. at thirteen, they became a year rounder camper after their aunt had encouraged them to stay, knowing their mother couldn’t keep them safe. their time at camp was divided into learning how to fight with a spear (a weapon that quickly became their go-to, the one weapon they were actually proficient with) and learning how to manage their ability. however, worry constantly nagged at them, as they realized they were only putting off a life alone. artie may not have been different, but there were very few people who lived like they did.

PART THREE. THE EXTRAS, THE CONNECTIONS.

ambrosia tastes like the cranberry-walnut cookies their aunt used to make for them.

they have a little mp3 player because they absolutely cannot live without listening to music. it’s not connected to wifi or data, just a little device that hosts illegally downloaded music.

interchangeably uses he and they pronouns. gender identity was something artie struggled with growing up, as they never felt totally connected to their assigned gender at birth but didn’t feel totally disconnected from it either. it took a lot of google searches, long late night talks with the nymphs and his aunt and encouragement from their fellow siblings before they realized they were non-binary, and furthermore, a demi-boy. they do have a preference for people to refer to them with ‘he/him’ pronouns, while they tend to use ‘they/them’. of course, they don’t really mind what people use as long as it’s either he or them, and ultimately, artie is just happy he’s got this part of himself figured out.

handy with a spear. they tend to spin the weapon around their hand as part of their signature move, and yes, it is just to show off how good he is at spinning it.

pinterest here.

i. this house burned down and we’ll take the memories with it.

this would be the person who artie is closest to and considers family. they would’ve been there for his every milestone, the person who had his back more often than not and vice versa. however, after artie is revealed to be part of luke’s army, betrayal strains their relationship. i can see this connection (in current times) focusing heavily on the fact that they’re both on directly opposing sides but want the other to be by their side, but being unable to switch sides themselves. this connection is also one heavily steeped in years and years of friendship, as artie has been at camp since he was eleven, and then switched to being a year-rounder at thirteen.

ii. and where have the gods gone? taken by rainier gang.

artie didn’t want to switch to the titan’s side at first. he was convinced over a long period of time, and this connection focuses on the dynamic between artie and whoever took the time to convince him to switch sides. seeing as one of artie’s deepest fears is ending up alone and abandoned, maybe this dynamic focused on that aspect! honestly, i’m open to however this connection develops since it’s a pretty open-ended one.

iii. for these are shared wounds. taken by emri kyung, salem poe.

in short, they have been artie’s sparring partner since he was a new camper. as a child of aphrodite, there was always that expectation that he’d be useless in a battlefield and this person took a chance on him, showing him everything he now knows about how to fight. they aren’t close by any means but there is comfort in intimately knowing what they’re like on a battlefield. how this dynamic develops depends on which side (or none, if they’re neutral!) the other person is on.

other wanted connections:

literally anything my brain is tiny LOL

#titanomachyintro #UHHH HERE WE GO VROOM VROOM

7 notes · View notes

writer-and-artist27 · 4 years

Text

An Unbent Person

Note: Even though I haven’t finished the movie Remaining Sense of Pain from Kara no Kyoukai as a result of my being triggered by the intro, Asagami Fujino has been lingering in my head lately. And since it’s your birthday, @withanina / Aqui, I wanted to revisit her in a way that both honors you as one of my best friends and that helps me process the complex character that Fujinon is.

I just hope I did Fujinon justice with this oneshot. I’m still trying to figure her out, even when she’s one of my best Archers in my Chaldea and I’ve been in a writing slump to the point of defaulting to S&S verse to try to get back something. But we’re still here and I’m rambling, so enough of that. I’ll just insert this song as a theme since Yuki Kaijura also composed Credens Justitiam for Madoka Magica after working with Type: MOON, and let’s go. The lyrics used for the song are taken from lyricstranslate.com. This story canonically takes place, I think, after the aforementioned Remaining Sense of Pain (possibly around Extra Chorus) and S&S 24, before Kannabi.

Happy Birthday, Aqui. Thank you for sticking with all my stories. I hope we’ll keep being friends for years to come.

---------------------

Growing up in Nagareboshi Café meant getting used to what other civilians would call “abnormal behaviors.” Or, maybe the better phrase was simply “not minding things out of the ordinary.” Whether it was the shinobi coming into the café with nothing but a few flicked fingers in my direction to ask for an order or the occasional call for a song by a tired voice from the bar area, I learned very quickly to take things as they were. After all, it was still the Narutoverse — a place where child soldiers were considered “common” of all things. Papa had lived in that very same scenario for years, and now my best friends were growing up in it.

It felt like death was inevitable, no matter where you were in this world, because it was made a “norm.” Ugh.

Thus, the least I could do was not judge and instead be as welcoming as possible. It was all I could do just to provide some levity in a world that couldn’t offer any.

It was with this mindset that I met her.

She could’ve blended into the crowd with her unassuming black and red spider lily-patterned kimono and long purple hair, but once she was gently walking past Mama’s figure in the front of the café and carefully making her way to a table in the corner of the building with her cane, I did my best to not stare. It wasn’t every day that someone came in with a cane in hand, and once she started gently tapping the cane against every object she came across while walking, it automatically clued me in that it was not my business to ask.

Someone with an apparent disability didn’t need extra attention drawn to them unless they needed it for a helping hand. Internally, I was very grateful, though, to see how some clientele and our own café servers stepped out of the way to let the lady slowly maneuver through the crowd with her cane, a few people even quietly moving their chairs out of the way to give her a clear path. It was such a stark contrast to how Vy’s old family at times gave one of my aunts far too much space, simply because of how emotionally stubborn and physically weak she was for reasons I never did understand even after being reborn. Family issues were family issues.

But for a second, my thoughts wandered to how things would have happened for the lady to come in the way she did. Anyone, of course, could use a cane. Everyone had their own reasons. But the cloudiness in her eyes — it said something about her cane usage. Aside from looking straight up at the sun for that direct UV light exposure, possibly impaired vision wasn’t something that just happened unless we were getting into the possibility of genetics, lifestyle choices, and/or eye strain and how eyes related to anime powers. The Sharingan was a notable example of the latter, where Canon Sauce went blind thanks to overusing his Mangekyo after fighting Danzo, and I did not want to think about Obi possibly dealing with the same consequences once his Sharingan activated.

Wait. No no no. I shook my head vigorously, clamping down on the urge to slap my cheeks as punishment. It wasn’t my place to speculate what happened to Nagareboshi Café’s newest customer, even if she was pretty and the empathy in me was screaming to help her. The right thing to do is give distance and let her come to me if she wants to, I mentally knocked my head against a library wall, much to Hisako’s raised eyebrow. Remember that, me.

How about a song to break the ice, then? Hisako suggested, eerily quiet with her arms crossed over her chest. Tomoe Mami’s theme? To stop the library knocking.

Oops. I glanced at the black and white keys underneath my fingertips and nodded to myself. You know, why not?

My Nobody beamed with pride. Much better!

I couldn’t help but agree. There was something about seeing that lady with her walking cane and cloudy red eyes sitting by herself at a table that reminded me of a yellow magical girl. A single yellow-themed, gun-wielding magical girl who went about fighting alone just to ensure some kind of future for herself. It was honestly sad to think about because her wish was “to live” and that was where it had landed her.

But the concept of “loneliness” was not one I could entertain forever. I knew I didn’t want to when I couldn’t unsee the white myself.

Thus, humming the first few lyrics to myself was a good distraction while it lasted. Plus it was a good starter for tapping my foot to get the rhythm before letting my hands play out the rest. The piano crooned softly with my thoughts, echoing the chords I wanted, and for once, I didn’t mind feeling my chakra start to float from the interaction. It felt like I didn’t have to hold my chakra back. This time, I let the music take me away in the hopes of letting my chakra play out as it should’ve been. Free, empathetic, and open.

The Sage of Six Paths might’ve been happy with the performance. I wanted to think that, at least, when playing the piano at that moment.

Solti ola i Amaliche cantia masa Estia…

E sonti tolda i Emalita cantia mia Distia…

A litia dista Somelite esta dia A ditto i della Filioche mio Solti tola Solti ola i Amaliche cantia masa estia E sonti tolda i Emalita cantia mia distia…

Alita della Maliche sonta dia Mia sonta della I testa mia Testi ola Solti ola…

Solti ola i Amaliche cantia mia Dia, dia...

By the time the last few keys faded into the air, I knew without opening my eyes that someone was sitting next to me on the piano bench. Miyako-bachan’s teachings were close to becoming second-hand nature to a point, but it didn’t stop me from squeaking a little when glancing over to find the very same lady I was thinking of at my right side.

Maybe I was too invested in remembering the first Heroine of Justice…

Even up close, it was obvious my newest visitor had gone through a lot at her age, with the little creases on her cheeks and the occasional white line of scarring crossing along what skin her kimono showed past the collar. Once she wrapped her red shawl tighter around her shoulders, hiding the scars with one hand while clutching the handle of her cane with the other, she slowly blinked in the vague direction of the piano. It took a moment before she went about turning her head towards me. Her gaze was unfocused, but still pointed my way. “Hello,” she said very quietly, her long purple hair brushing her shoulders with the greeting. “Are you the one who played the song just now?”

“Y-Yes,” I replied gently, nodding my head. “I am Hoshino Tomoko, your pianist for the day. Welcome to Nagareboshi Café, um…”

“Asagami,” the lady said, bowing her head in return. Her red eyes blinked again, as if focusing past the clouds in the irises, before she added, “Asagami Fujino,” with a small smile. “It was a beautiful song, Hoshino-san.”

“Thank you, Asagami-san,” I said respectfully in return. “Is there another song you would like me to play for you while you’re here?”

To my surprise, Asagami-san shook her head, her long purple hair swishing against her clothes enough to reflect the café lighting. It took an extra moment for me to realize she was wearing a black ribbon in her hair. “Not a song,” she said, voice all the more quiet in spite of her closeness. “I wanted to ask you something.” She blinked for a moment, her eyes narrowing in my direction in that small interval of time before widening minutely. “What were you thinking of when playing it? It was…” Asagami-san trailed off, turning her head back to looking at her lap as she gripped her cane. “It felt different. I never heard such a song like yours before.”

Oh. Uh. Just in case, I turned to the other person in the room. Hisako?

It didn’t even take a second for my Nobody to answer. Reliable as always. Yes, dear?

Chakra or no chakra explanation?

Hm. Hisako thoughtfully pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. Keep it simple. No chakra. Best to not add any confusing elements.

Alrighty. Simple and no chakra it is.

To Asagami-san, I admitted honestly, “I was actually thinking of you.”

Asagami-san raised her head in my direction so quickly, I would’ve thought she’d have given herself whiplash with how her neck turned. Her red eyes were still cloudy-looking, but they seemed to be shining with a newfound light of some sorts now. It felt like she was shocked. “Eh?” With that said, Asagami-san then lowered her head, no longer gazing in my direction but still exuding that same aura of surprise. “…Me?”

“Yes,” I continued, in spite of the growing blush no thanks to anxiety and embarrassment. “I-It looked like today is your first day here, so I just wanted to play something that made you feel welcomed—”

“No one has ever done that for me before,” Asagami-san interrupted, her voice one octave louder than before. Her knuckles were turning white against her already pale skin as she gripped her cane. “Not after…” She inhaled one long deep breath. “It was not painful.”

I took a deep breath too. “I didn’t mean for it to be,” I said softly.

Asagami-san gave me a small smile past the shoulder of her red shawl. “You seem to be a kind person, Hoshino-san.”

“I try to be, every day,” I said, doing my best to keep my voice from wobbling. This conversation was definitely starting to hit something heavy, and for once, it felt like I was doing something right and stepping into territory I couldn’t exactly parse out on my own. After all, it wasn’t every day a grown woman was relying on a teenager of all people. But the situation was happening, and there was no stopping it. “It’s what I was taught to do, and I want to keep doing it.” For the people I care for, for the people I lost, for myself, was left unsaid. “Everyone deserves a chance to feel safe and be themselves. I just help make the space for that, without pain and with as much kindness I can muster.”

Asagami-san said nothing for a while after that, merely tapping her cane against the pedals of the piano for a small moment. I did my best not to wince when one such tap happened on my foot, but by then, it seemed like Asagami-san was in her own thoughts. My bit of pain didn’t matter. Right now, something was up.

Did I say something wrong?

“…You can see,” Asagami-san said finally, her voice a bare wisp in the air, “life even without pain?”

As expected from a moment of silence — it sounded and felt like a loaded question. Still, I lifted my hands from the piano keys to place them into my lap, taking a breath to formulate my answer. There was no way I could leave this standing. “Maybe. Maybe not. I just know that life is full of many things, Asagami-san. Pain can be a part of it, but that’s not all there is to it. There’s the trees outside, the bright blue sky, the warm air, the food in the café, and the people that live here.” With the warmest smile I could make, I turned to her, even if a part of me could guess she wouldn’t fully see it. “It’s because of what happens in this life that I got to meet you, right?”

Asagami-san looked up in my direction again. Her red eyes were wider than before, letting in enough light to expose my reflection in the cloudy irises before the first visages of tears dotted the edges. “You…” her bottom lip quivered. “How can you say that, Hoshino-san? I-I…” Asagami-san shook her head vigorously, enough to jostle the black ribbon in her hair, making it crooked. “I’m not—”

Maybe I shouldn’t have shared. Maybe I was going too far, considering we were in the middle of the café and the privacy seals weren’t turned on and I needed to turn them on. But the words were leaving my lips before I could stop them, interrupting whatever thought Asagami-san was about to voice. “You’re fine, Asagami-san. I just wanted to play the song for you because I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t want anyone else to feel the same way when there’s so much more in the world to discover and enjoy.”

Asagami-san’s shoulders shook against her shawl, causing the red cloth to fall back and expose the barely hidden scars against the black collar of her kimono. “…I thought I couldn’t feel anything outside of pain. Not after Keita-san a-and Shiki-san.” Keita-san? Shiki-san? “But you—”

“I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you,” I said honestly, raising my hand for a moment before lowering it. Even if I was tempted to pat her back as a form of sympathy, from the way Asagami-san was hunching into herself, it wasn’t the best time to intrude on her personal space bubble. I made this bed, and I was going to lie in it even if I wasn’t sure of what was going on. “I put a lot in what I do. But I meant everything I said. And what I felt when I played the piano.”

It was at that very moment I saw a small droplet hit the edge of Asagami-san’s kimono sleeve. Oh. Oh dear. “Wh-why…” there was a dainty sniffle, “why didn’t I meet you sooner? If I knew you before, then—”

Screw it.

I reached over to gently rest my palm against the hand Asagami-san was using to grip her cane. “But you’re here, Asagami-san,” I said, feeling my smile wobble all the more at seeing more droplets fall onto Asagami-san’s kimono, creating dark wet circles in the black cloth. “You’re still here now. And I’m glad that you are.”

Asagami-san shuddered, her shawl barely covering her back with the gesture tilting her center of balance. “I-I feel like crying. It hurts. I-It all hurts. C-Can I… Can I cry?” For a grown woman, I was not expecting the childlike tone of wonder in her voice. “Hoshino-san, can I cry?”

My heart hurt. Something must’ve happened for her to react so much. Even then, I still curled my fingers so that they could brush against Asagami-san’s hand and hopefully relax her grip on her cane. Physical comfort was the least I could give after unearthing something so heavy. “Of course you can. That’s a part of what makes you human, Asagami-san. Crying is a part of what helps all of us be alive.”

The first sob I heard from her then sounded more like a relieved laugh than a cry for help. Even then, Asagami-san shrunk into her seat at the piano bench, purple hair shrouding her face all the while. I simply kept my palm against her knuckles, controlling my own breathing to not cry myself from the shared emotion.

“M-May I—” Asagami-san choked around another sob as her hand relaxed minutely under my grip, “May I come here again, Hoshino-san?”

“Yes,” I said faintly. “Of course. I wouldn’t say ‘no,’ Asagami-san. Feel free to visit Nagareboshi Café whenever you’d like. I’ll be here.”

It felt like a promise I couldn’t turn my back on. I wouldn’t.

---------------------

Long after Asagami-san left from the café closing for the day, I found myself letting go of the breath I was holding. Then a hand gently fell onto my hair.

“You okay, hime?” Papa whispered, patting my head for a moment before pulling me in for a side-hug. “Need anything?”

My lip quivered before I let go of my current inhibitions and wrapped my arms around his waist, converting the side-hug into a full-on hug. The fact that I was getting a faceful of his waist apron didn’t matter. Nor did the smell of what reminded me of day-old soda. No matter what, it was still Papa, and work was done. I could be selfish around him and it was okay. “M-More hugs, please, Papa.”

Papa laughed softly before resting a hand against my back and patting there too. “Alright. You did well, hime.”

“I-I followed your example, daddy,” I whispered back, finding my voice going back to Vy’s for just that moment. “Help others when you have the ability to.”

“And that, hime,” Papa replied wistfully and proudly, “is what makes your heart a good one. Just let me and Mama help you next time. You can’t do everything alone and we’re still here. We’ll play a full concert together when Asagami-san comes back.”

“Aye. Th-That’ll be nice.” If it meant one more wounded person could smile, that was enough for me. I didn’t have to shoulder everything. And one concert could possibly make one more day won from the dirty clutches of war. I’d just have to settle for that.

Maybe next time, Asagami-san could smile without tears in her eyes.

#birthday gift #writing #hoshino tomoko #asagami fujino #oneshot #happy birthday friend #happy birthday Aqui #withanina #friend things #long post #tw: trigger mention #implied blindness #kara no kyoukai #tw: long post #the sea and stars #hisako #yuki judai

10 notes · View notes

puckrph · 4 years

Text

HIGH AS HOPE STARTERS

quotes taken from florence + the machine’s 2018 album. feel free to change pronouns, etc. TW FOR REFERENCES TO EATING DISORDERS AND DRUG USE

JUNE

‘ the show was ending and i had started to crack. ’ ‘ you’re so high, you have to be an angel. ’ ‘ i’m so high. ’ ‘ i hear your heart beating in your chest. ’ ‘ skyscrapers look on like great, unblinking giants. ’ ‘ love became an act of defiance. ’ ‘ hold on to each other. ’ ‘ you were broken-hearted, and the world was too. ’ ‘ i was beginning to lose my grip. ’ ‘ i’m always down to hide with you. ’

HUNGER

‘ at seventeen, i started to starve myself; i thought that love was a kind of emptiness, and at least then i understood the hunger i felt, and i didn’t have to call it loneliness. ’ ‘ i thought that love was a kind of emptiness. ’ ‘ we all have a hunger. ’ ‘ tell me what you need. ’ ‘ you look so free. ’ ‘ don’t let them get you down. you’re the best thing i’ve seen. ’ ‘ they’re gonna crucify me. ’ ‘ you in all your vibrant youth: how could anything bad every happen to you? ’ ‘ you make a fool of death with your beauty. ’ ‘ i thought that love was in the drugs, but the more i took, the more it took away, and i could never get enough. ’ ‘ i could never get enough. ’ ‘ you don’t have to be afraid. ’

SOUTH LONDON FOREVER

‘ it doesn’t get better than this. ’ ‘ there can be nothing better than this. ’ ‘ the world is at your fingertips. ’ ‘ do you know what i have seen? ’ ‘ everything i ever did was just another way to scream your name. ’ ‘ we’re just children wanting children of our own. ’ ‘ i want a space to watch things grow. ’ ‘ did i dream too big? do i have to let it go? ’ ‘ oh god, what do i know? ’ ‘ i don’t know anything. ’ ‘ there’s a special kind of sadness that seems to come with spring. ’

BIG GOD

‘ you need a big god, big enough to hold your love. ’ ‘ you need a big god, big enough to fill you up. ’ ‘ you keep me up at night. ’ ‘ i still like you the most. ’ ‘ you can never know the places that i go. ’ ‘ you’ll always be my favorite ghost. ’ ‘ sometimes i think it’s getting better, and then it gets much worse. ’ ‘ jesus christ, it hurts. ’ ‘ i can make this work. ’ ‘ shower your affection, let it rain on me. ’

SKY FULL OF SONG

‘ are you still awake? ’ ‘ you’ve been staying out so late. ’ ‘ oh, my darling, be careful what it takes. ’ ‘ the good ones always seem to break. ’ ‘ i can feel your anger from way across the sea. ’ ‘ oh, the heart, it hides such unimaginable things. ’ ‘ grab me by my ankles, i’ve been flying for too long. ’ ‘ i want you so badly, but you could be anyone. ’ ‘ hold me down, i’m so tired now. ’ ‘ leave me where i lie. ’ ‘ i feel like i’m about to fall. ’ ‘ i thought i was flying, but maybe i’m dying tonight. ’

GRACE

‘ i’m sorry i ruined your birthday. ’ ‘ i guess i could go back to university, try and make my mother proud. ’ ‘ this is the only thing i’ve ever had any faith in. ’ ‘ it was such a mess. ’ ‘ i don’t say it enough, ___, you are so loved. ’ ‘ you were the one i treated the worst, only because you loved me the most. ’ ‘ we haven’t spoken in a long time. ’ ‘ i don’t know who i was back then. ’ ‘ i hope on hope that i would never treat anyone like that again. ’ ‘ it was such a fucking mess. ’ ‘ tell me what i can do, i will make it up to you. ’

PATRICIA

‘ you’ve always been my north star. ’ ‘ i have to tell you something: i’m still afraid of the dark. ’ ‘ you take my hand in your hand, from you the flowers grow. and do you understand with every seed you sow, you make this cold world beautiful? ’ ‘ all doors are open to the believer. ’ ‘ you only take as much as you can grab with two hands. ’ ‘ but how’s that working out for you, honey? do you feel loved? ’ ‘ i drink too much coffee and think of you often in a city where reality has long been forgotten. ’ ‘ are you afraid? ’ ‘ you remind me that it’s such a wonderful thing to love. ’

100 YEARS

‘ i believe in you. ’ ‘ i believe in love. and the darker it gets, the more i do. ’ ‘ try and fill us with your hate, and we will shine a light. ’ ‘ the days will become endless, and never turn to night. ’ ‘ it’s just too much. ’ ‘ i cannot get you close enough. ’ ‘ lord, don’t let me break this; let me hold it lightly. give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightly. ’ ‘ we have no need to fight. ’ ‘ the streets still run with blood. ’ ‘ my held breath fills the room with love. it hurts in ways i can’t describe. ’ ‘ my heart bends and breaks so many times, and is born again with each sunrise. ’ ‘ i’m sorry, i thought you didn’t care. ’ ‘ how does it feel now you’ve scratched that itch? ’ ‘ hubris is a bitch. ’

THE END OF LOVE

‘ i feel nervous in a way that can’t be named. ’ ‘ i dreamt last night of a sign that read “the end of love,” and i remember thinking, even in my dreaming, it was a good line for a song. ’ ‘ we were a family pulled from the flood. ’ ‘ you tore the floorboards up and let the river rush in, not wash away. ’ ‘ we were reaching in the dark. ’ ‘ it was so far to fall, but it didn’t hurt at al. ’ ‘ i’ve always been in love with you. could you tell it from the moment that i met you? ’ ‘ joshua came down from the mountain with a tablet in his hands, told me that he loved me, and then ghosted me again. ’

NO CHOIR

‘ it’s hard to write about being happy. ’ ‘ happiness is an extremely uneventful subject. ’ ‘ there would be no grand choirs to sing. no chorus could come in about two people sitting doing nothing. ’ ‘ i must confess, i did it all for myself. ’ ‘ i gathered you here to hide from some vast unnameable fear. ’ ‘ the loneliness never left me. i always took it with me, but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company. ’ ‘ no ballad will be written. it will be entirely forgotten. ’ ‘ and if tomorrow it’s all over, at least we had it for a moment. ’ ‘ oh, darling, things seem so unstable, but for a moment we were able to be still. ’

#sentence starters #memes.#florence + the machine starters #rp memes #askbox meme

23 notes · View notes

amysmarch · 5 years

Text

~how i’m feeling~ | rp sentence starter

drugs & the internet

“another life, another story, ( she ) walked out, said i was boring.”

“shit, i said i'm never trying.“

“'til the bitter end, but every now and then, i wonder what it feels like to be more than i am.”

“i traded all my friends for drugs and the internet.“

“ah shit, am i a winner yet?“

“and i don't wanna base my actions, on reactions or the things they say.”

“so now i'm laying in my bed, and i can't get out my head.”

fuck, i’m lonely

“call you one time, two time, three time, i can't wait no more.”

“i know its been a minute since you walked right through that door, but i still think about you all the time.”

“i don't know, i don't know how i'm gonna make it out.”

“fuck, i'm lonely.”

“fuck, come hold me.”

“yeah i still watch the shows you showed me, i still drink that wine but these days it tastes more bitter than sweet.”

“and all my friends are way too drunk to save me from my phone, so sorry if i say some things i mean.”

“miss those nights when you would come over, spent all night just tryin' to get closer.”

lonely eyes

“i don't mean to be rude, there's things in myself that i see in you.”

“she had those lonely eyes, i only know 'cause i have them too.”

“no, you don't have to hide, the things you feel inside, i feel too.”

“'cause i'm lonely just like you.“

“we might speak different languages, and we might have differences. but where you are, i'm right there too.”

“stay the night, stay the week.“

“when you're gone, i don't sleep.”

“when you're gone, i feel weak.“

sims

“i wish that you and i lived in the sims.”

“we could build a house and plant some flowers and have kids.”

“i'll probably never see you again.”

“i wish that we lived on a vhs. i’d erase the things i said and that i'll probably say again, hit rewind on all the times i got lost in my head.”

“goddamn, i wish we would've met on another night, baby.”

“i wish that we met walkin' round the moma.”

“yeah, i'd say nice to meet you, 'stead of saying nice to know you.”

“i'd try to impress you with some bullshit 'bout monet.”

believed

“almost got a place out in midtown, instead i took a plane out of this town.“

“wasted, and all of my regret, i can taste it. if i had a time machine i would take it and make it back to us.”

“now i'm reminiscing 'round the clock, wish that i could make it stop.”

“shoulda believed in us, while we existed. 'cause now the whole thing's fucked, and just a figment of my imagination.”

“and i wish i would've been patient, instead i let in all the emotions.”

billy

“nobody told ( him ) the world was mean.”

“nobody thought ( he ) could amount to anything.”

feelings

“is my love too much, or is it just enough, for you?”

“'cause it's getting late, would you like to stay?”

“we could cross that line, know we've been friends.”

“and love only knows broken ends. yeah, that's what you said.”

“'cause feelings are hard to find.“

canada

“waking up in your bed, it's almost like i've been here forever.”

“i'm obsessed with your brain.”

“what if we move to canada?“

“buy some things we don't need, bring your mother's dog, your paintbrush and some candy.”

“how you talk with your hands, and how you sigh like a movie.”

“and we got luck so bad, we have to laugh. i guess we're lucky that, we don't need much outside of us, do we?“

“and when they talk about those, people who up and leave? that could be us.”

for now

“i keep you right here in my brain, even when we're waking up in different cities.”

“i know it's hard to feel so close to someone that's so far away.“

“for now, i'll love you through the phone.”

“for now, our friends will fill this home.”

“in the shadow of the moon, found the memory of that night we were in portland.”

“the moment i told you, that no matter where we are, you're still my best friend.”

“and if i had a candle i would wish you back to me.”

mean it

“i can't tell what you're thinkin', please tell me what you're thinkin'.”

“but you text me when you feel like, when it feels right to you.”

“i'm fallin' faster.”

“don't tell me that you need me.”

“don't tell me you're falling, with your feet still on the ledge.”

“don't kiss me, no, don't kiss me.”

“you know you got me in the palm of your hand, but i love those hands.”

“but you only let me hold you when ( he ) can't.”

“you've been staring at me with a heart of doubt.”

tell my mama

“i been thinking that life's too short, so many friends got their life cut short.”

“now i'm standing here doing lines in the bathroom.”

“i hate myself.”

“i been hiding pain, it's underneath.”

“and i been up so long i'm scared to sleep.”

“tell my mama that i love her, and i'm sorry for the pain.“

“and everybody says that i've been manic. i think they might be right, but i still manage.”

“lately, i been so annoyed. ‘cause they think that i'm just paranoid.”

sweatpants

“coffee with a little bit of alcohol.”

“oh no, no, don't judge me, just 'cause i do anything to get by.”

“said you don't wanna know who i am anymore, you don't care anymore. yeah, i can't really blame you.”

“and i don't wanna know, who you're with when you leave.”

“swear i still feel you on my skin.”

“i really miss you.”

“but, baby, that's not the issue, the issue is coming back.”

“we've been through this, we both know. we'll fight, fuck then let it go.“

who

“sometimes, i swear i think you hate me like.”

“i need to get outta here.”

“'cause you're not the ( girl ) i fell in love with, baby.”

“'cause something has changed, you're not the same, i hate it.”

“feelin' hypnotized by the words that you said.”

i’m so tired...

“i'm so tired of love songs.”

“party, trying my best to meet somebody. but everybody around me is falling in love to our song.”

“strangers, killing my lonely nights with strangers.”

“hurts like heaven, lost in the sound.”

“buzzcut season like you're still around.”

“can't unmiss you and i need you now.”

el tejano

“i met a ( girl ) at el tejano.“

“i'm from wherever you're going tonight."

“i always find myself in random situations.“

“do you wanna have a little bit of fun tonight?“

tattoos together

“i'd never fall but then i fell for you.“

“one weekend in portland, you weren't even my ( girl )friend. we were walkin' and talkin' then somebody said, let's get tattoos together.”

“if it's way too soon, fuck it, whatever.”

“if it's not forever, then at least we'll have tattoos together.”

“'cause i love you.”

“knew it from the moment, from the moment that i saw you naked, could never love nobody else, the way i loved you baby.”

“yeah, your cherry earrings are my favourite.“

“i've been hopin', prayin' we last forever, 'cause there's nothing better than you and i.”

changes

“i'm getting rid of all my clothes i don't wear, i think i'm gonna cut my hair cause these days i don't feel like me.”

“i think i'm gonna take a break from alcohol, probably won't last that long, but lord knows i could use some sleep.”

“changes. they might drive you half insane but it's killing you to stay the same.”

“living with your eyes half open.”

“it's all gonna work out.”

“i think I'm gonna take some pills to fix my brain, i've tried it every other way. some things you can't fix yourself.”

sad forever

“life feels like a daydream.”

“voices always keeping me up, telling me that i should give up.”

“'cause lately i've been in the backseat to my own life.”

“i don't wanna be sad forever.”

“i don't wanna wake up and wonder, what the hell am i doing this for?”

“i'll make it through to tomorrow, 'cause that's all i can do today.”

invisible things

“do you still remember the way that we felt when we were kids?“

“yeah, we built castles out of couches. felt fire without matches.”

“made promises without fear of getting burned.”

“we think happy is expensive.”

“it's the invisible things that i, that i love the most.”

“so let me hold you close.”

julia

“when we met i wasn't me, i was so numb.”

“i was so lonely.”

“out on the run i wasn't free, and you came along but you couldn't save me.”

“my hesitation and holding my breath, i led you in to the garden of my loneliness.”

“wish that you left, before it all burned down.”

“i'm sorry what i do to you.”

“i push and pull and mess with your head, then get in your bed 'cause i'm weak, deep down.”

“i wish i never lied to you.”

“i never meant to hurt you like that, and if i could go back i'd leave you alone.”

“when i left, i wasn't sure that i could love.“

“i won't lie to you no more, 'cause i know i did before hope you find what you looking for.”

modern loneliness

“i've been thinkin' 'bout my father lately, the person that he made me, the person i've become.”

“and i've been tryna fill all of this empty. but, fuck, i'm still so empty.”

“yeah, i could use some love.”

“i've been trying to find a reason to get up.”

“the baggage in my heart is still so dark.”

“modern loneliness. we're never alone, but always depressed.”

“love my friends to death, but i never call and i never text 'em.”

“yeah, you get what you give and you give what you get.”

“we love to get high, but we don't know how to come down.”

“if i could break my dna to pieces, rid of all my demons.”

“if i could cleanse my soul, then i could fill the world with all my problems.”

“we're never alone, but always depressed.”

#rpt #rph #rpc #rp meme #sentence meme #starter meme #billy was hard to do sentence memes im SORRY #if you have any requests for albums / songs / movies / tv shows feel free to send them #resources #pls reblog this i worked so hard #dfgjhdfgd #long post

44 notes · View notes

randomfandomimagine · 4 years

Text

Soul of a Warrior. Chapter 14: Sisterhood

Fandom: The Witcher

Ship: Jaskier x Nissa (OC)

Previous Chapter - Chapter Index - Next Chapter

AO3

Please reblog and leave a comment, it would make my day!

Jaskier is rambling. I have never been so enthused by his nonsense. I’m not even picking on what subject he is prattling about, only focused on the passion with which he always speaks and the way his eyes sparkle and his lips curl up.

“I’m sorry…” He suddenly says, turning to me with a hand on his hip. “Am I boring you?”

I shake my head, unable to contain my smile. He watches me carefully, being infected with my gesture. Moved by a feeling I thought forgotten, I quit our walking and immediately sneak my arms around his waist to hold him tight. This embrace seems to bring me together when his arms envelop me as well. His light chuckle sounds near my ear and causes my heart to skip a beat.

“I have missed you, stupid bard” Needing to look into his lively blue eyes again, I pull away and look up at them. His arms linger around me. Reminding me of something else I had missed, his bright smile dazzles me when it arrives, bigger than ever and mildly smug.

“I knew you couldn’t live without me, love” When I glare at him, he chuckles in an adorable way and strokes my back with his hand. “I’ve missed you too, Nissa”

Once more, the way he looks at me flusters me deeply.

“Why don't we… sit for a moment?”

“Of course” He unhands me, leaving coldness in that spot where his hands rested. Jaskier then bows with a flourish, inviting me to choose a spot myself in order for him to follow.

“Now” I plop down on the ground, not bothering to look for a more suitable place to rest. We have been talking for hours, and all this walking is tiring me after I have grown more accustomed to riding and traveling through portals than to our usual trudging when I was with Jaskier and Geralt. “Jas”

“Hm?”

“What are your plans?”

“I… don’t really have any” He mumbles as he sits by my side. “Why, do you?”

“Maybe we should look for Geralt” I shrug a bit, trying to conceal how excited I am about the idea. “Get the team back together”

“I…” He fidgets his hands, not establishing eye contact again. “I’m not quite sure that’s what he wants”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I offer, finally addressing what has clearly been bothering him for a bit. “Something obviously happened between you two”

Jaskier sighs. His entire composure crumbles in a second. He quiets down, though when he pipes up again he does so with his usual fervor.

“That obstinate witcher…” Jaskier rolls his eyes dramatically. “He shouted at me, so I just walked away”

Despite his feigned carefree tone, I can tell that he’s upset. I stare at him, noticing the subtle frown on his brow, but he nervously shakes his head. Before I can react, he has put his head on my lap and I freeze for a moment. His head is literally on my thigh.

“I mean, how is that fair?” He mutters, gesticulating quite a lot, but facing away from me.

I feel bad for him and see no reason to push him away. Instead, I find the gesture to be quite endearing. I smile and sigh. After several seconds of hesitance, my hand falls over his head. His hair is surprisingly soft and I find myself sinking my fingers in it, which also seems to be of comfort to him as he relaxes into the touch.

“What happened, exactly?” I encourage him, continuing to caress his hair.

“It was because of Yennefer, he was grumpy and…” Jaskier suddenly grows quiet. In any case, he gave me all the information I needed.

It seems as though Geralt has not remedied his tendency to lash out at people, especially if a certain sorceress is involved. I myself have suffered the effect Yennefer has on Geralt as well. I cannot forget that moment at the inn. She only makes his temper worse when they clash.

I grit my teeth as I watch Jaskier. He remains quiet. I patiently wait for him to continue, but he only turns around to lay flat on his back. Now our eyes meet and there is a pronounced frown in his brows again. I can clearly read the vulnerability and remorse in his expression.

“Did he take it out on you?” I venture, making him shrug before crossing his arms over his chest. He looks up at the sky, perhaps to avoid looking at me.

“It’s fine…” Despite his words, he makes a face. “It wouldn’t be the first time anyway”

“Jas” My stern tone causes him to look at me. “Cut the crap”

Jaskier lingers for a moment, eyes drowned in emotion as he stares. Then he sits up off my lap and heaves a big sigh. He tries to hide it with a faux smile, but his eyes have turned watery.

“Um, actually… I’m… quite hurt” His voice falters, and I put my head on his shoulder as a silent gesture of comfort. That seems to encourage him to continue. “He said some things…”

“Like what?”

“You know…” His fingers nervously fiddle with the grass that flattens under his legs. “How I give him nothing but trouble and he wishes he never met me… the usual…”

“Jaskier…” That is harsh, even for Geralt. I am outraged, and I wince in sympathy.

He stays quiet, though I know him well enough to read his thoughts. He’s scared, terrified that Geralt was speaking the truth, that all this time he didn’t actually consider him a friend, that he only seems him as a nuisance and a meddling bard that he merely reclutantly tolerated.

“You know he didn’t mean it” I pull away from him to look him in the eye, yet he doesn’t reciprocate, instead absently glancing down at the grass he twiddles between his fingers. “Jas, look at me”

He finally meets with my gaze. His blue eyes are drowned in tears, which honestly breaks my heart. How dare Geralt hurt Jaskier like that? If we meet again, I will be certain to scold him for it. He should realize the impact of his words and consider other’s feelings before opening his big mouth. Stubborn bloody witcher…

I take Jaskier’s hands in mine to keep him from pulling at the grass any more.

“Geralt cares about you, he genuinely values your friendship” I shake my head, mentally cursing the witcher. “And if you say Yennefer was still around, you know she rattles him. I’m sure you did nothing wrong”

“Yeah…” He chuckles, although the emotion doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, I suppose”

“We are going to look for him and find him, and he better apologize... or I’m going to kick his ass until he does. Only I can taunt my stupid bard”

My joking tone is enough to lighten the mood a bit. Jaskier laughs once more, this time more heartedly. With his free hand, he rubs his eyes before the tears can actually come down.

“I miss that grumpy witcher” He reluctantly admits. “With our falling out…”

“I… was feeling lonely too” I tap his knee, and dedicate him a reassuring smile when his eyes meet with mine. “But now we can be lonely together”

“Thank you, Nissa” He breathes out, as though it had been difficult for him to breathe before.

I never let go of his hands, but I peck his cheek before carefully leaning my head on his shoulder again. He leans into the touch, resting his cheek against my hair. The forgotten butterflies return. My heart is thumping inside my chest once more. A thought burns in my mind, making that persistent ache in my heart to feel quite obvious, painfully so.

Unspoken words itch in my tongue, they burn in my mind. I feel shortness of breath at the thought of speaking them, of opening my heart to him. It’s probably a good moment. The atmosphere finally feels calm and warm. Silence has settled for a change. We are, in fact, holding hands and leaning on each other. I smile in anticipation, opening my mouth to pour my emotions out.

“Alright, your turn” He suddenly says before I can utter any words.

“What?” I pull away from him, watching him in confusion.

“Tell me what’s worrying you” Jaskier clicks his tongue in exasperation. “Or are you telling me you just wanted an excuse to tackle me to the ground and straddle me back there?”

“Can you not use that word?” I try to unhand him, but his hands tighten around mine.

“Which one, straddle?” I catch him smirking with the corner of my eye. Oh, he is back to being himself already, I see. “Why? Does it fluster you, Nissa?”

Lacking a proper response, I only press my lips together and shake my head. Fighting it with all my strength, I refuse to smile in response to his flirtatious teasing. Gods, how I have missed him…

“Come on” His fingers leave mine to instead clasp our palms together. “Tell me what’s wrong, I’m listening”

The gentle way in which he speaks gives me goose bumps. The tender manner in which he is staring at me is making it impossible for me to return his gaze. I hate that I adore him so bloody much, that he can go from insufferable to endearing so quickly.

A sigh escapes my lips.

“I feel so… vulnerable” I start speaking, allowing that restlessness that nestled within me for months to finally come out. “Without you or Geralt around… I often spend time alone these days, and… I haven’t done so in my entire life”

Jaskier gravely nods his head, letting me know he understands. As I hoped he would.

There was always someone. When I was little it was my parents. When they passed, it was Kader. After he was taken from me I had Hana, and then Jaskier and Geralt. But now, even though I have befriended Triss and Hana is by my side once more… a strange and foreign loneliness has accompanied me, an empty feeling that rendered my heart prisoner even when I was in the company of my sorceress friends. This feeling was only driven away with Jaskier’s unexpected appearance.

Many times, I have been close to telling Hana all of this, to... venting this anguish that stirred within me. But all the sorceresses are too busy, or preoccupied with bigger, more important matters. Matters that concerned all of the Continent and not just an insignificant person like me. And even if it wasn’t the case, I didn’t feel brave enough to tell her. There are many reasons for it as well.

For starters, I didn’t want to burden her with my trifles. Knowing her, she would be more than happy to let me vent yet… I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea. Even if I knew she would scold me for thinking so, for believing that I wasn’t right to for even a moment.

Secondly, I wasn’t convinced that she would understand me. She would intently listen to my every word, of course, and comfort me and just be there, but… I needed someone who could understand what I was experiencing. Jaskier, who has traveled many times with Geralt before, probably relates to such vulnerability more than I can ever imagine.

The witcher’s company was comforting, a silent promise that his protective and skilled presence would defend us from any and all evils, because he was our friend and, no matter how much he tried to deny it if asked, he cared about us. He was in no way invincible, but he nearly felt like he was.

And now, whenever I leave for a stroll or ride with Pal, I feel exposed. Despite having my dagger and my sword as well as my scarce magic skills, I still do. Even if I train diligently, every day without fail. It doesn’t matter.

“Nissa?” His thumb comfortingly rubs my knuckles as his voice steers my thoughts.

“It is quite silly” A pang reaches my chest when I see the heartbroken expression in his face. I roll my eyes, ashamed by these feelings. “And cowardly”

“It isn’t” Jaskier softly shakes his head. “We have encountered so much peril… It’s not strange to feel in such a way”

Exactly. Jaskier does understand me. Warrior elves, vampires, bounty hunters, archespores, leshy… Each and every single encounter stays in my memory. Those close calls we have had never leave me, and they only magnify in my imagination when I am alone. Those same creatures and more of even bigger significance seem to lurk in every corner.

“Would you feel safer with me by your side?” He asks, and it saddens me to recognize a hint of fear in his voice. Fear of not being strong like Geralt. Fear of not being a good enough companion, of just not being enough. Before I can address it, he chuckles to appear nonchalant. “Well… I promise... No, I swear! To protect you with my life and… my lute”

I laugh through the unshed tears and pass a hand over my eyelashes before those that have gathered there manage to treacherously slide down my cheeks. This matter seems to have affected me more than I first imagined. Once I have spoken out on it, my chest feels lighter. Timidly, I glance up at Jaskier. His eyes hold as much emotion as I feel.

Raising his eyebrows in an invitation, his arms open. I don’t hesitate to shield myself in his embrace. It is cozy, homely and comfortable. When he holds me, I can finally breathe.

“Thank you” I close my eyes and treasure every second of the feeling of his arms around me. It is so wonderful. I feel at home now. At last.

“You too” He flattens his palms against my back to further press me against him. I smile.

This enveloping embrace is all I need to realize Hana was right. There are no doubts in my mind, no matter how much I tried to deny it. As I have before, I can fight my instincts as much as I want, but my emotions have made the decision for me. Long ago, before I even encountered him. I had missed him so much it hurt. Now that I have him with me again, I will not lose this opportunity. Destiny has spoken.

“Jas?”

“Yes”

“Where would we go?”

“Wherever you please, love”

In all honesty, I am not quite sure where I want to go. All I know is that I want it to be with him. The destination doesn’t really matter as long as I am by his side.

That notion fills my chest with warmth. Traveling with Jaskier and chatting like we used to. Spending every second by his side, flirting and joking and singing and just… being with him. It is absolutely ideal. I am giddy just thinking about it.

The fantasy, however, is wrecked by the weight of reality. In order to achieve that, I must do something first. Something quite unpleasant that I do not want to do.

“If…” I mutter against his silk doublet. “If we are leaving… then I need to…”

“Say goodbye?” He cautiously completes for me, comfortingly rubbing my back.

Even after all this time apart, Jaskier knows me well. It is so reassuring knowing I have someone like him, who understands me so well. Who cares. Who I have special feelings for. Who, in some way or another, reciprocates them.

“Yes” Begrudgingly, as I would comfortable lie in his embrace forever, I pull away.

“Let’s go then” Jaskier nods his head, and his encouraging smile brightens my gloomy mood.

Knowing he is waiting for me outside seems to fill me with courage. It is useful, for I lose vitality the more people I talk to. I have quickly said goodbye to most of the women here. First Tissaia, then Sabrina, Fringilla, Yennefer and Triss. Like last time, I leave the most painful farewell for last.

My fist is shaking as I knock on Hana’s door. I nibble on my bottom lip when it swings open to reveal her. Hana’s face bears a resigned tranquility.

“Are you here to say goodbye?” She asks, moving to the side.

“Not exactly” I avoid her gaze as I come in. I pause until I hear the sound of the door closing behind me. “Not if you want to come with us”

I refuse to make the same mistake twice. At the very least, I will ask her even if I already know the answer is no. My conscience needs it. I also find comfort to my racing irrational thoughts when I remember that she is not defenseless. None of them are.

“Nissa…” Hana rolls her eyes, even if a refreshing smile on her lips teases me. “What would I do with the two of you?”

I shrug, aware that what I am asking is foolish. If I was in her shoes, I wouldn’t come either, especially not since she has found a new home here just like I have with them. With him.

“I had to ask” I shrug my shoulders once more and force my gaze down when tears flood my eyes.

“I know” Hana seems much calmer than I am in spite of the subtle trembling of her level voice. “I appreciate it”

“I… I’m sorry, Han…” Even when her hands hold mine as soon as a sob escapes my throat, I still can’t muster the courage to look into her eyes. “I'm sorry for leaving you again, I am a terrible friend”

“You are not” She continues, still as serene. “I wouldn’t force you to stay somewhere you’re not happy in anymore, just like you understand that I want to stay here”

My bottom lip trembles. Emotions that I believed forsaken pour to the surface, feelings that I experienced soon after I first met Geralt and Jaskier. I vividly remember the moment I experienced them: standing at the top of the mountain, overlooking the desolation of my home and believing Hana to be dead. That guilt and sorrow return.

“L-Last time that I abandoned you…” A knot in my throat interrupts me as the sobs take over.

“Nothing like that will happen again” Her fingers squeeze my hands. “And you never abandoned me, Nissa”

"But I..." In the end I quiet, staring at our hands even though the tears blur them.

“Do you understand?” She insists, as though it is important to her that I do. Prey of my weeping, I only manage a vehement nod. I let go of one of her hands to wipe my tears.

The room grows completely quiet as we think of something else to say. How to express the gratitude of a lifetime? The regret that has been building up for months? The concern that clutches to my very soul? Instead, I pathetically smile at her and finally hold her gaze.

“Please take care” Completely breaking the connection, I instead throw myself to hug her.

Much like Geralt, Hana was never a physical or affectionate person. Her love language diverged from bold proofs of fondness. Nonetheless, she has no problem hugging me back this time.

“I will” She replies, and I can’t comprehend how her voice remains calm as she holds me tight. “You do too, you hear? Don’t be stubborn”

“I love you, Han” I suddenly chuckle, taken aback by a wave of affection that overpowers the sadness.

“Goodbye, sister” Hana says, squeezing me once more before breaking away.

Somehow, it all feels right. She is my sister, my family. The distance will never change that.

We linger for a moment, trying to postpone my departure for as long as we can. Ultimately, I smile at her as I step towards the door. The gesture is genuine and devoid of any melancholy or nostalgia. She will be okay. And so will I. She grins back, which is enough to fill me with peace as I step out of the room.

It is time to leave hers and return to a home of my own. As though destiny knew this thought would occur, I find Jaskier standing in the corridor. His back is leaned against the wall opposite of me. Arms crossed and head tilted, his eyes are vacant and thoughtful. I chuckle. The sound casts his gaze over me as he lifts his head up. I expected his smile, though his expression is stoic as he watches my red swollen eyes. I don’t know what to say to him.

“Nissa” Hana suddenly opens the door one last time. I turn in a daze.

When I face her, I see her offering something to me. As I approach, I watch the wide brass bracelet she twiddles between her fingers and timidly take it. The one on her wrist is identical.

“I bought it soon after you arrived, during one of my missions with Triss” She tells me, smiling when I put it on. “We both knew you would become a healer like you intended”

Oh, Hana… Tears gather at my eyes once more, and I mentally curse her for it.

“Thank you” I fraternally squeeze her upper arm. “I will never take it off”

Hana grins, though her eyes fix somewhere behind me. I had nearly forgotten Jaskier is there.

“Goodbye, lady Hana!” He kindly says. “It was a pleasure to properly meet you”

“Goodbye, Jaskier” She smirks a bit as she leans on the door. “Look after her, will you?”

“Of course” As a promise of his good will, his arm protectively sneaks around my waist.

“Actually, I’m looking after him” I chuckle, bringing a wide grin to her mouth. He doesn’t complain and in fact laughs.

Hana and I wave at each other. We smile, but my heart feels heavy. Her door then closes. A small emptiness fills me. The stillness lingers in the atmosphere for several more seconds.

“Are you alright?” Jaskier gently whispers. After all, I haven’t moved from the spot and I still stare at the closed door. It takes me a bit to answer, only managing a nod.

“Yes… Truly, I am” Taking a deep breath, I turn to him. “I know where to find them now, and I know Hana is okay. Safe and sound. She belongs here, and she is happy in this place”

Jaskier dedicates me a soft smile and a head nod. We don’t say anything as we start moving and advance through the hallway. Our footsteps echo against the walls, filling the void.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Nissa?” He sighs in reluctance. “I wouldn’t want you to regret it. Especially given that I am the very reason you are leaving and… I don’t want to be the one to drive you away from her, I… I know how much she means to you”

I grin. Unlike the moment when I said goodbye to Jaskier, this doesn’t feel wrong. Certainly, it is sad and I will miss her dearly. Nonetheless, I know I am doing the right thing. I am moving towards something that makes me happy. A special someone. I am staying where I belong.

“You do too, Jaskier” I instinctively say before I can stop myself. “I’m sure”

As we step outside, I hear him sighing. It seems a gesture of relief and fondness. Feeling mildly flustered by the way in which he suddenly stares, I hurry to reunite with Pal.

My horse is patiently waiting as I approach him and caress his neck as always. His jet-black eyes seem to smile when he lovingly nudges my shoulder. Then I nimbly climb up on the saddle and offer my hand for Jaskier to take. With a bright grin that rivals the sun itself, he takes my hand and rides behind me.

I pause and take a deep breath. Exhale. Another pause before spurring Pal on. I refuse to look back as we ride, not even to glance at Jaskier sitting in the saddle with me. He is uncharacteristically quiet, though I assume it is out of respect for my woe.

“Ah, I will miss this place… full of beautiful women, it was” He finally says, heaving a dreamy sigh. “They have in fact inspired me to finish my song”

“At last? It took you ages” As comical as it can be to see him struggle, I can sense his frustration. It is good to know he has finally finished it.

“Ugh, don’t remind me” His hands move in the air with his wide gestures. “But I did write it while we were apart. It didn’t actually take me this long”

“I see. Please forgive my affront”

“Alright, cheeky, would you like to hear it?”

“Of course, Jaskier”

“Brilliant” He clears his throat in a very important manner. “It is called Delicate Flower”

With his usual flare for the theatrical, he only clears his throat and pauses dramatically. I am very aware of the way his arms wrap around me from behind as he holds on to me. Preferring not to play his lute while riding, Jaskier starts singing a cappella instead. His harmonious voice finally fills the silence. I close my eyes to fully enjoy the sound of his singing, one that I had missed as dearly as I had missed the bard himself.

Let me tell you about my love

My muse, my beauty, my dove

Dazzling smile, gorgeous eyes

Her perfection, my demise

Brighter than the sun and twice as fair

No one else in the world can compare

...

A delicate flower

Claiming her power

Determined and sentimental

Fair, soft and gentle

Fierce and bold

Soul of a warrior and heart of gold

...

The mere touch of her lips

Would be absolute bliss

Her present existence

Unbearable distance

...

I wonder who inspired the ballad. It is lovely, though it pains me to think those feelings he harbored have nothing to do with me. Does he still feel in such a way about the object of his inspiration? Was that person only a fleeting infatuation? Does the song mean a lot to him? It doesn't matter. No, I refuse to linger on jealousy. We are together now. That's what's important.

“It was beautiful, Jas” I twist in the saddle to leave a peck on his cheek. “As always”

“Thank you very much” He beams, proudly squaring his shoulders up. “Any further thoughts?”

Yes, I wish that song was for me. But it isn’t. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care.

“No” I say instead. “Not really”

Jaskier sighs, though says nothing more. His arms gingerly tighten around my stomach.

Pal is now noisier as his hooves resonate against the hard ground. They rhythmic and repetitive sound is calming.

As we leave the academy behind, I peer down at the new bracelet on my wrist. Its mere sight fills me with warmth. It is a reminder that, no matter how far away we are, we will always be family.

Tag list: @x-joie-x / @x-jodi-x / @dancingwith-thesunflowers / @golden-guide / @alwayshave-faith / @this-is-whump-dammit / @legallyblindgamer727 / @lilyevans1 / @kingniazx / @molethemollie / @a-somehow-functioning-dumbass // Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list to be notified when I post next chapter!!

#please reblog!!#jaskier x oc #jaskier x reader #soul of a warrior #soaw #witcher #witcher fanfiction #the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #oc #original character

13 notes · View notes

laboranti · 5 years

Text

plotted starter for @lostvacvnt

Harlow had been drawn to power and dominance ever since she could remember. The ones who were strong caught her eyes. Of course, she had never really acted out on it, but the draw was there the pull. When she had met her father, that power rolled off him in waves so thick and overwhelming; she found herself almost smothering while sitting in the same room. More than blood, she was drawn to that. The unhinged power sitting in his veins, she wanted that control, that strength. He was her blood, so she had to have that too, right? She guessed that was why when Stiles had opened up about Void, it had made so much sense why she was drawn to him more than anyone else. From the start, something about the boy called to the dark parts of her. She wanted to follow him, and she would, to the ends of the world, to whatever purpose. The Nogitsune... He was power beyond anything else. Her family, Peter, and Derek were powerful creatures. Apex predators. And yet even they were no match when it came to the spirit of chaos. Hearing the stories had sent chills down her spine, only increasing that draw she had to the Stilinski boy. When Void finally showed himself again? Well. She was drowning in the power that he held, knew from the beginning he could kill her with the effort it took her to growl.

So much had changed in the months following that fateful night. Stiles had come to her, and said he was leaving, told her they were all in danger. No more blood would be on his hands, not hers. And it had broke her. A lifetime of loneliness, she'd only just began to dip her toes into the lake of affection and happiness. Finally, grasping some sense of normality with relationships, and just like that, she would lose it all again. She would never come to terms with what she would have to give up, sacrifice, but when Stiles's face showed up at her front door the next day with that overwhelming assertion of power oozing from him, she knew it wasn't right. Something darker, the Nogitsune. At first, she just followed him because of Stiles. He was in there somewhere, he saw everything, remembered it all. She knew he was alive, and that was good enough for her. While she knew to do what the Nogitsune wanted wasn't right, she did it anyway. Because it meant she could be close to them. She would never admit it, but as time went on, she'd come to realize she craved being lead, needed someone with that much power to ground her to the world, and allow her to see her full potential.

And see her full potential she did. It took little time for The Nogitsune; whos name was later revealed to be Hibiki, to show her that unleashing that rage wasn't wrong. It was what was right by nature - why else would she have such cravings? Why else would she be that powerful? And so she accepted it, embraced it. She followed the fox to the end of the world into wars. She'd dismembered people for getting too close to him, always looking to make sure not a single bit of harm came to him. It wasn't just that she'd grown fiercely loyal to the fox that had taken her into his home, but she knew that her friend's life depended on it. She couldn't let anyone hurt Stiles. As the time ticked on, she'd become a master of torture. Or, at least, compared to how she had been when she first joined forces with Hibiki.

He had promised her a present. He told her she'd been so well behaved that she deserved this blessing, something he and Stiles had discussed and decided on. She didn't have a clue what it was, the fox never giving up his trick. The day had finally come, and now she sat on the couch with Hibiki stood in front of her, hands folded in front of him. She stared at him, the familiar soft features of her friend harshened by his attitude and overall existence. It wasn't a bad look for him, she'd grown used to the more hostile expressions rather than Stiles' awkward bubbly habits, but she missed him. Harlow always searched for any sign of the boy inside the beast, even if she didn't view Hibiki in that light anymore. He was still death incarnated, and he wasn't someone to mess with. The opposite of Stiles. Whole different sides to the spectrum. The only time she didn't search for the familiar glint in his eyes, or in the twitch of his lips, was when they were hurting people. Deep down, despite Hibiki saying that Stiles was proud of her, of what she did, she didn't want him to see that part of her. She never did - it was ugly, scarred, broken. But Hibiki was scarred and broken too, the same side of a different coin. It was why she relished in that darkness when he was around.

The sound of a door opening had her eyes snapping to the sound, always on edge. Brown eyes morphed into blue, ready to defend her family. Prepared to kill whoever dared break into their home to threaten them; it wouldn't have been far fetched. They'd made quite a few enemies over their travels, and this town had been filled to the brim with them. But blue hues fell on familiar boyish features, softened with the kindness his heart carried. Mid snarl, her full body went deadweight. Frozen in her spot, she just stared for a moment. "Stiles?" His name was but a whisper on shaking lips, the tears swelling in her still blue gaze before they began to roll down over her cheeks. He was before her in one piece, and while she doubted he would be there long, or if it was even real, it felt real. He looked real. He looked healthy, safe. Unharmed. She blinked a few times, trying to see if he would disappear when she did.

He didn't.

Within seconds her body was scrambling over the back of the couch, leaping off the back to land in a run. She all but threw her body into his chest, arms wrapping tight around his torso. He smelled like Stiles. He had the feeling of Stiles - because no matter the fact Hibiki inhabited his body, she'd long since learned the differences between the two. Slight, but noticeable. Stiles was soft, while Hibiki was hard. Always tensed. Always ready for the next fight. Her face pushed forth into his shirt, a small sob falling off her lips. This had been their surprise? Their present? Letting her see him, touch him, exist with him? She would've continued doing exactly what she was told and then some even without the motivation, but now... Now she was convinced to keep going, with the proof the boy she loved still existed in there. Hibiki would always be enough for her, but their connection was different than the one she shared with Stiles. It didn't have as much history behind it, as much care. She knew the whole thing was one-sided, Hibiki was a demonic spirit, he didn't do gushy feelings or humane friendships. He treated her with respect, and sometimes it seemed like he genuinely did care about her. But in the end, it would never be quite the same. She had come along for Stiles, and she would've left for him too.

Or tried.

"I missed you. I missed you so much." Her words shook when they left her lips, fingers curling into the fabric of his top, eyes squeezing shut. "You're here... You're real..."

#lostvacvnt #things are coming full circle ;; threads #a fox : a boy : and a coyote / a family ;; v. runaways (lostvacvnt)

12 notes · View notes