#🏃🏻💨

[milkbreadtoast]

drawing smth heinous

(jk it's not that bad/not nsfw LFJKS if it was i cant post it...)

btw did u know that i've never drawn nsfw in my life? just a fun fact fefbvd this shouldn't be a surprise tho. like even if i weren't on the ace spectrum THAT SHIT IS HARD TO DRAW I CANT EVEN DRAW 2 CHARAS HOLDING HANDS... ANATOMY AND POSING IS TOO HARD LMFAO. WTF

[obayashi]

deleted all my dating app profiles i never responded to messages and was never gonna follow through on meeting people anyway💞 if anyone wants to fall in love now’s your chance

[porcalinecunt]

ok thats enough thirst posting about my baby daddy connie springer gn yall <3

[radarchives]

[elizabugz]

[sinfulsunni]

just watched a dilf in a porn video say “you’re such a fucking champ!” to his sub and it totally did it for me. I think my therapist may have had a point about the whole daddy issues thing.

[bottomvalerius]

I think it’s really funny (and potentially traumatizing) if whenever Damien gets properly drunk, he immediately runs away from whatever group he’s with

[milkbreadtoast]

...hey guys completely random but i made a youtube channel 🚶🏻

[robertphilip]

once again thinking about how Robert is Giselle’s first and only love

[juantinarchive]

🤳

[xxflyingwiththestarsxx]

I’m lowkey freaking the fuck out over every little thing in my life. But it’s cool, I’m cool, everything’s cool.

[livwritessometimes]

Hello! I love your uni series and I'm so excited to see who's next! Could I request an Alex Albon smau with a baker reader?

: Alex Albon x Baker!Reader

: Main Masterlist

: Author’s Note - omgg tysmm 💕 Hope you enjoy this 🫶🏻

…

liked by alex_albon and 72,393 others

Yourname: Nothing here to see…just a baker rolling through life one dough at a time 🤭

view all 56,921 comments

User56: Noooo queen you’ve been spending way to much time with Alex 😭😭😭😭😭 Your captions have taken a hit 😔

User02: I thought Y/n dating Alex would save us from his corny one lines but I was WRONG!! HE MADE HER JUST LIKE HIM 😩😩😩😩

alex_albon: I CAN SEE ALL YOUR CAPTIONS 😡🔪

-> User66: Oh no we’re so scared 😱

-> User51: Absolutely terrified

-> User09: Deleting this app as we speak! So scared 😦

-> alex_albon: 🤡 You guys are the worst 👎🏻👎🏻

liked by patrickh_coach and 219,627 others

👤: patrickh_coach

alex_albon: Winter break? Never heard of her 🤷🏻‍♂️ 2025 Season, here I come 💨

view all 179,728 comments

patrickh_coach: Keep up with this routine and we’ll be unstoppable 💪🏻 And don’t forget about your meal plan 🍽️

-> alex_albon: 🫡🫡🫡

User51: I-Wow! COVER YOURSELF UP YOU WHORE 🫵🏻

User42: You thought you could show your knees and GET AWAY WITH IT????? That’s IT! YOU’RE GROUNDED!

Yourname: My man! my man! my man! 🤤

-> User23: Queen I get the appeal! I swear I do but please pull yourself together 🙏🏻

-> User49: Another one bites to dust 😞

alex_albon: Why can’t you guys be normal for once? JUST ONCE ☝🏻 THAT’S ALL I’M ASKING 🙏🏻

liked by alex_albon and 92,013 others

👤: alex_albon

Yourname: The best part about winter break is having him all to myself 😈….Might not even give him back 🤭

view all 77,258 comments

User01: @/alex_albon how does it feel to be god’s favourite????

User32: LOVE LOVE LOVE 💕

alex_albon: oh 😳! I see…umm and what do you plan on doing 👀?

-> Yourname: Come back home and you’ll find out 😏

-> alex_albon: 🏃🏻

-> User42: why must I be punished like this??????

Williamsracing: Phew 😮‍💨 thank god! No take backs 🙅🏻‍♂️ He’s all yours now!!! Enjoy 😘

-> Yourname: WAIT NO I WAS JUST KIDDING!!! PLEASE TAKE HIM 🙏🏻

-> alex_albon: I- WOW! MY TEAM AND MY GIRLFRIEND! WOW

-> User52: @/Williamsracing @/Yourname I love you guys 😭😭🫂🫂🫂

liked by Yourname and 104,927 others

👤: Yourname

alex_albon: You know what they say…The way to a women’s heart is through her stomach 😋

view all 98,161 comments

Yourname: 🙈🙈🙈🙈

User07: @/Yourname hand to your heart ✋🏻 tell us, how many times did Alex almost burn the kitchen down????

-> Yourname: Whattt??? No! He actually has become really good at baking. Honestly you’d be shocked at how good he- 7 times and he also dropped the jar of jam, so we had to go and get a new one 😇

-> alex_albon: I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW THIS WAS COMING

-> Yourname: Good for you ig 🫶🏻🫶🏻

User55: I love these 2 so much!!!!!! Please never change you guys 🙏🏻

User03: Umm *gulp* I- *stutters* nice *wipes sweat* nice arms *cardiac arrest*

*liked by Yourname*

User21: hmm so much sweet 🤔 isn’t he supposed to be on a strict diet or something???

-> alex_albon: shhh 🤫 Don’t tell my trainer about this or else 🔪

liked by alex_albon and 99,738 others

👤: alex_albon

Yourname: I could watch him eat all day ☺️ Can’t believe he’ll be half way across the country soon!!! Stay like this forever my hungry boy 💘

view all 90,193 comments

User48: SO CUTE!!!!! 😩😩😩😩

alex_albon: omggg are you like obsessed with me or something???

-> Yourname: It’s okay you can go! I don’t mind anymore. Bye 👋🏻

-> alex_albon: I’m only kidding babe 😝

-> alex_albon: Y/n OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE 😫😫😫

User20: Good Food = Happy Alex

*liked by alex_albon*

patrickh_coach: It’s nice to see you’re eating healthy! I hope you’re following the meal plan as well, right Alex?

-> alex_albon: You know it 😅

-> User93: @/patrickh_coach you should see the post Alex had uploaded a couple of days ago

-> alex_albon: I SAID 🤫🤫🔪🔪🔪

User76: Not Alex fighting for his life, trying to hide the fact that he did not in fact follow his meal plan 😭😭😭😭

-> alex_albon: I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♂️ what your talking about 🗣️

-> User88: @/Yourname Queen 👸🏻 please drop the receipts 🧾

-> alex_albon: Y/n NO 😰😰

-> User32: Y/n YES

-> User11: Y/n YES

-> User02: Y/n YES

-> User78: Y/n YES

-> User50: Y/n YES

-> User64: Y/n YES

liked by alex_albon and 108,972 others

👤: alex_albon

Yourname: TADA!!! Since, so many of you wanted to see the results of Alex’s cooking 🧑🏻‍🍳 BTW, it was very tasty, and Alex & I enjoyed it a lot 🤤

view all 90,193 comments

alex_albon: YES, I ATE ALL OF THIS! I WILL NOT BE SHAMED FOR MY CHOICES! I DEVOURED THE ENTIRE SECOND BATCH OF CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES AND ON TOP OF THAT, I ALSO HAD TON OF CHOCOLATE CAKE! THERE I SAID IT AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO SAY IT AGAIN!!!

User32: Umm….I think we broke Alex????

User09: @/Yourname Is it okay???

-> Yourname: I- honestly have no idea. He threw his phone on the sofa and is now rocking himself back and forth muttering about how he’ll be fine 🙂 Please send help 🙏🏻

-> User68: Called 911! They’re on their way 🚨

-> Williamsracing: @/Yourname sending the pit crew for emotional support 🫂

patrickh_coach: Damn @/alex_albon didn’t know you could bake so well. Bring me a batch as well!!!

-> User53: @/alex_albon this the coach you were worried about???

-> alex_albon: @/patrickh_coach you got it!!!

-> patrickh_coach: Also, Alex hope you’re ready for a brutal workout session tomorrow 😊

…

[aneldritchmoth]

hello

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🏃🏻💨

[sillyfreaktime]

my favorite scenes in house, m.d are the ones that go like this

wilson: you stabbed my grandma???

house: to teach you a lesson! everything is fragile, even the people you love!

wilson: she’s 92!

house: oh please, that old lady’s seen worse!

wilson: house-

house: wait! “old lady…” I know what’s wrong w my patient!!! she’s old!!! 🏃🏻💨