#''''''social pressure'''''' nowadays WHATEVER THAT MEANS?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sockslikeautumn · 11 days

Text

Julian Peyton

Yandere golden boy prologue

Male original character x gender-neutral reader

Masterlist Julian Peyton

SFW, 2.0k+ words, angst, addiction, trauma, reader, and OC are 18+!

Summary: Did you not wish for his suicide to happen due to wanting to offer proper help or because you didn't want to die selfishly?

Trigger warnings: Dead dove, do not eat for all warnings!

Suicide, suicidal thoughts, mentions of self-harm, depression, mentions of bullying, loneliness, academic pressure, guilt, implied addiction, implied turning yandere/obsessed, manipulation, victim blaming, trauma, abuse, implied childhood abuse, childhood trauma, child abandonment, child negligence, drug addiction, drug dealing, alcohol addiction, cigarettes addiction.

The reader has suicidal thoughts and trauma regarding some of these tags. If any of them trigger you, don't read!

As much as it seems, this isn't a self insert from me, Y/N is their own original character

For any confusion, this is before he went yandere, became a golden boy, and why.

I'm open to constructive criticism, not bullying.

You are entirely responsible for what you consume.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

If you're conscious enough to live, at least at some point in your life you have thought of how quick and easy it would be to bring about your demise.

Grab a knife, cut the neck in half, or take a step off at the edge of a building. Simple and efficient. It's not as painless as some would wish, but it's the most reliable for someone in dire need.

When you have problems you aren't aware of how to solve, suicide just seems like the solution at the moment. Why keep going through the pain when you can just make everything stop and end in black there?

Julian was never one to think of committing suicide. It had crossed his mind before whenever hearing about a self-death headline but never to be the one at the edge of death.

His life was a simple chess game with the Devil to put it generously. He couldn't remember the names of his birth parents, only of the new son they had, he couldn't remember the last time his grandad taught him something but could decipher what drug he was using by the way he acted. It was never too obscure behavior and just made his grandad, Mason, spill honest secrets and opinions. Regardless, it hurt his heart to hear what a failure he was to him.

There never was a time of growing up to him. He was born, abandoned, and then perfected to act depressed for the rest of his life as it should be.

To cope with the loneliness, Julian found comfort in cigarettes. The smell of nicotine brought him back to a time when his grandad was still functioning and meaning someone to him. Someone special, someone valuable, and someone irreplaceable. Despite that, he should've learned from his mistakes that once you aren't meaningful to someone anymore, you become dispensable.

At the age of twelve, he couldn't remember what grades he had in school but could instead remember the various names of alcohol brands his granddad had. They were stored on the top shelf of the pantry and some were in the fridge, all decorated in rainbow colors. Back then, they looked magnificent since Mason always forbade him from touching them. Nowadays they stay piled on the floor of his grandad's bedroom, some empty and some bottles broken never to be cleaned.

Drugs were never an unfamiliar aspect of his life. The minute his grandad was gone, off to drink at a bar, he'd sneak into the basement where they were and gather whatever he could to sell. Julian never found out how his grandad had those, just that they appeared on Monday and were all used by Thursday. Mason was reckless if what he was doing was illegal, as long as the cops or Julian didn't rat him out, he'd be content letting his mind dwell on drugs.

It was no wonder why someone like Julian, who was socially awkward and unpleasant to look at, was bullied all his life in school. People either forgot he existed or made sure Julian knew others would forget if he stopped existing. Any time he made an effort to find new friends, they'd look at him in disgust upon smelling his dark cigarette clothes. There was no direct proof but everyone knew of Julian's addiction to cigars and that he probably used drugs on himself too. His blonde hair was always greasy paired with nerdy glasses that only highlighted his purple eye bags to others. Everyone knew he was a failure and that his life would end in failure no matter what.

You saw yourself as no different than Julian. He was a classmate of yours in school, sharing only a couple of classes. You never spoke with each other and never looked at one another. You doubted he cared anything about you but oddly enough... you seemed to care about him. There was just something pulling you to him, some undeniable force that made you feel emotionally connected to him. Maybe it was the pity, the empathy you felt for him, or... the way you thought he was similar to you.

You were someone who grew up in a rather loving family, unlike Julian. You had three young caring step-sisters, a father you never met, and a mother and stepfather. Although your parents' love was sometimes not present, your childhood wasn't the worst or the best. Your earliest memory was when your first adoring sister was born, when you had to take care of her and the same goes for the rest.

Your parents never were really involved in your life. They had to work plenty of hours to take care of your family tree and you had to take care of your sisters in exchange, watch them evolve, and be their guiding light. You never felt like an older sister, more like a parent who guarded them 24/7.

To make your parents notice you for once, your academics stood second in your biggest priorities. Night and day, day and night spent at your desk, unexpectedly was your friend group of friends small and so was your social life. Painful eye bags staining your face and skin pale as a zombie, people worried if you were dead or alive. The only reassurance you had for continuing was a promise for a better present time than your past in a completely new setting.

Despite always teaching your younger siblings to never bottle their emotions, it was only advice you hoped you could follow yourself. They were too young to understand your problems, the pressure, the loneliness, everything. Your parents weren't the ones you could freely open up to without feeling like a burden to their already busy lives. Your couple of friends looked up to you for advice and without anyone to usher you, who was there to tell you suicide wasn't the choice?

You never earlier put your head on suicide and always reassured your peers never to do it. It wasn't the right decision, there were plenty of other ways to go about it, you'd always say. But with always being the one to comfort, to collect their tears that soon poured into yours, you never thought you needed to feel comforted.

Many indifferent moons passed by your window at your desk, contemplating and crying in fear of losing your place in academics. Once you mustered up the courage to find the time and speak to your parents about your fate, they barely took a glance at your words. You put your heart into explaining what you wanted for your future, why you fought so hard, and that you wanted to make this family proud. Nor did they consider it, your mother took her time to carefully choose where to stab you next, calling you an ungrateful brat for not even thinking about your younger sisters.

That night, the cap broke off the bottle and your tears stained your face for hours. Their words clouded you, their words were becoming a reality to you. It felt childish to cry over nothing, it was childish no matter how you put it. How dare you even cry after acting so selfishly?

When the sun came, it settled in you how much you wanted to break your own rules and punish yourself. If you weren't to have a good destiny, what difference would ending it now have? All you've ever wanted was to be certain you'd have brightness along your path of life, to not end up marrying off to a rich man like your mother had to. All you've ever wanted was gratitude for your achievements from people who should've been giving it to you for free.

Those thoughts stayed long in your mind and long enough to realize how your mother was right. How selfish would you be to dedicate yourself to ending it now of all times? Who would take care of your family? Who else would provide for your own blood?

You were no one to decide on what and when your death would be. To be one would mean your soul would succumb to sinfulness and stay like that by all who knew of your existence.

Being a mother figure all of your life, you immediately knew what was happening with Julian. Over the years, he grew pathetic in trying to go against his bullies' self-harming suggestions. There were no tears smudging his dorky glasses anymore, no guilt on his face, anger, he just looked emotionless and numb. He, to put it simply, took the pain and walked away without trying to heal.

The day you finally decided to befriend him, the day his tormentors came to convince him, was the same day he wanted to make ends meet.

During lunch, you searched for him at his usual spot in school, on the rooftop. The whisper-like wind hugged your body carefully and to no avail, he wasn't staring at absolutely nothing on the bench, his bench you came to view it as. So many times he was caught bawling there he practically claimed it as his own.

Upon spotting his thin form at the edge of the rooftop in front of the railing, looking down at the ground and contemplating his life's choices, your heart felt devastated. To anyone it would be obvious what was going to happen, to you, it was clear who had to prevent it.

You couldn't let this happen to him, he never deserved anything in his life and if there was no one else to help him, it would be you. Either you put an end to his problems or put an end to the selfish life you wouldn't live for too long after.

His name echoed in his ears when you yelled out to him, was it his imagination? He turned his body around, his watery eyes landing on your blurry figure, and for the first time, he felt something other than nothing in his life.

“Listen, I've come here to help you, okay?” Your voice was soft as sunlight behind stormy clouds. Nevertheless, even with the reassurance, looking over your nervous body, he still felt out of place. Like an animal caged behind a railing as you cautiously stepped near him.

It took you slow breaths to at last muster up your words. “I know life may seem tough for you now but..” There was a smile on your face, it was forced and comforting at the same time. “We can both get through this, alright? We can both help one another in passing through this pain.” You were closer to him now, he could tell by seeing the sun reflect your skin golden. You were glowing and through his tears, he couldn't tell if you were an angel or not. “But I can't help you if you end it all now, I can't help you if you can't help yourself in what you truly want.” Julian eyed the ground under him again, a teardrop falling from his eye and landing beneath him.

It took several moments for his quiet sobs and sniffling to be heard by you. “W-why are you doing this?” Scratchy as it was, it felt good to finally hear his voice.

“Because I know what you're going through, I know how hard life has been for you and I want to make it better for you.” Julian's brown eyes couldn't help but wonder where you were standing, your delicate hand put out for him to grab. He felt every worry in his life disappear and could only focus on nothing but you. “Please, Julian, let me help you.”

Medusa's beauty referred to snakes acting as something they were not, would her touch also feel like scales belonging to filthy deceivers? Your hand looked preciously dainty and skinned with thin glass, a couple of visible cuts on the wrists. Your eyes captivated him, desperation or precise manipulation in them. Your aura, your soul, your everything had him infatuated in a matter of seconds.

As much of an alluring snake you seemed, he's learned his way around them and he was going to make sure you would be the last he's ever met. It would be the last time he'd ever wailed for someone and missed them to death.

Julian would certify he has collected every last remaining lie in your shedding skin, morphing it into whatever he wanted to believe, before ensuring you never leave him. Never leave, never abandon, never disappear from his life, and never not be fully dependent on anything except him.

For any confusion, this is before he went yandere, became a golden boy, and why.

I'm open to all constructive criticism, not bullying!

8 notes · View notes

intogenshin · 8 months

Text

Why Alhaitham says Kaveh is his mirror

Alhaitham calls Kaveh his mirror because they’re based on the two outstanding traits of the same character from ayn rand’s rancid novel The Fountainhead.

Less like a homage and more like a challenge against the themes in the novel itself, though.

The Fountainhead’s protagonist, Howard Roark, is an intransigent young architect who battles against conventional standards and refuses to compromise with an architectural establishment unwilling to accept innovation.

This Kaveh in a nutshell.

Roark embodies what the author believed to be the ideal man, and his struggles reflect her belief that individualism is superior to collectivism.

Not quite Haitham but individualism is there.

The author of the novel is a rather controversial figure both in philosophy and politics. She’s the founder of objectivism and a capitalism worshiper that started preaching her beliefs right before the Cold War began to take form.

Nowadays you’ll only find libertarian incels who like her work.

(I wish I could be objective to her objectivism but those beliefs are what supported the USA’s imperialist foreign policies that destroyed my country in irreparable ways, so I can’t extend any kindness to her work)

But like I said, I don’t think Hoyo took her work seriously either. It’s more like addressing certain points from this novel and developing them in actually compelling ways, while also refuting some of them through Alhaitham and Kaveh.

Rand believed individualism to be the only means to achieve true freedom against concepts like collectivism, which she describes as sacrificing one’s own freedom to prioritize that of others. Unsurprisingly, she was also very anti Socialism.

She held the usual belief that Communism/Socialism was precisely about taking away a person’s individuality like a regular US person living in a bubble of propaganda, which is reflected on the novel’s plot of mob mentality.

Ellsworth M. Toohey, who writes a popular architecture column in the Banner, is an outspoken socialist who shapes public opinion through his column and a circle of influential associates. Toohey sets out to destroy Roark through a smear campaign.

Genshin addresses this through Alhaitham’s story quest, The Illusions of the Mob, making a far more interesting, compelling and smarter case based on this theme with the concept of the Hivemind, or the “collective consciousness” as they call it.

The novel revolves around its mary-suish character’s misunderstood genius, who falls victim of the smear campaign.

Everyone turns against him, even the woman he‘s in a situationship with, who gives up her own personal will and joins the mob against him out of resignation.

Dominique decides that since she cannot have the world she wants, in which men like Roark are recognized for their greatness, she will live entirely in the world she has, which shuns Roark and praises Keating. She marries Keating and turns herself over to him, doing and saying whatever he wants, and actively persuading potential clients to hire him instead of Roark.

There’s other characters who betray Roark (and their own principles) to follow the mob bc of outside pressure, which parallels the plot of Illusions of the Mob, where Siraj recruits multiple people who feel isolated to join his Hivemind - with the goal of getting rid of Alhaitham.

Rand’s argument stems from her anti socialist views, but it does make a point about “collectivism” hindering personal freedom and taking away individual identity.

But as Alhaitham himself puts it tho, this concept of collective was flawed from the start. It’s not real collectivism.

Collectivism has already been addressed by Genshin’s narrative at this point through Nilou’s character and the Grand Bazaar, where the community functions by helping each other when they’re in need.

(I have this post that goes it)

So by contrast the collective consciousness is not what Genshin accepts as a legitimate example of collectivism.

Even Alhaitham praises the Grand Bazaar at the end of the archon quest:

Ultimately though, I think the biggest own against Rand’s novel is the confrontation at the end of the quest between Siraj and Haitham.

Siraj seeks power and recognition for himself, but unlike the antagonist in the novel he doesn’t hide this fact. His subordinates knew all along he wanted to become a sage, and they weren’t coerced nor fooled into joining, Siraj just took advantage of their situation.

He had nothing to do with the problems those scholars were facing, and his Hivemind offered them what the environment at the Akademiya did not. The scholars willingly chose this alternative.

Toohey is Roark’s antagonist. He is Rand’s personification of evil —the most active and self aware villain in any of her novels.

Toohey is a socialist, and represents the spirit of collectivism more generally. He styles himself as representative of the will of the masses, but his actual desire is for power over others. He controls individual victims by destroying their sense of self-worth, and seeks broader power (over “the world”, as he declares to Keating in a moment of candor) by promoting the ideas of ethical altruism and a rigorous egalitarianism that treats all people and achievements as equally valuable.

Siraj believes Haitham to be a equal though, someone who has been ostracized by society due to their non conventional ideas, much like Roark in the novel (who btw dynamites a building from a project he was working on bc it didn’t follow his creative vision)

Alhaitham doesn’t care about neither recognition nor acceptance, his freedom comes from placing no value on outsider’s perspectives about him and staying true to himself.

However, this is not a statement of superiority. We get to meet characters like Ilyas who had other constraints besides just being emotionally vulnerable, having a family to support and a career that demands connections. Haitham’s is not an accessible path to everyone.

But, as the Acting Grand Sage, he does take care of the issue to make the working conditions of the Akademiya less suitable for this kind of mob mentality problems. Although the tradition of labeling people as genius and isolating them does persist I guess.

Alhaitham also has his own views challenged during the archon quest, where he finds a collective/team where he does fit (despite the disputes): the desert gang.

It is precisely because their emotions and principles collided that they were able to put together a plan, and why they were able to fool the Akasha so it would stop predicting Cyno’s moves.

Alhaitham is not a character used as an argument against collectivism or having social connections.

He goes on to befriend Cyno, Dehya and Nilou with no problem. The archon quest comes across as a rather significant character development for him.

Now, on to Kaveh:

For Rand and libertarian incels, altruism is about sacrificing yourself for others. And that’s quite the statement, since altruism is just about attending other people’s needs, but that’s precisely what Kaveh’s character is about.

He’s not just an altruistic person, he voluntarily sacrifices himself in order to help others.

And Hoyo makes a point of it being something that affects his life negatively while also acknowledging he’s just going too far in the pursuit of this principle.

Yet Kaveh isn’t just a once dimensional antithesis to Haitham’s individuality. Like Roark in the novel, he embodies the pursuit of artistic innovation and the struggle against established values. Just, y’kno, not in a stupid way like Fountainhead.

As a field that combines art, technology, and business, it allowed [the author] to illustrate her primary themes in multiple areas. Rand later wrote that architects provide “both art and a basic need of man’s survival”. In a speech to a chapter of the American Institute of Architects, Rand drew a connection between architecture and individualism, saying time periods that had improvements in architecture were also those that had more freedom for the individual.

Roark’s modernist approach to architecture is contrasted with that of most of the architects in the novel. In the opening chapter, the dean of the architecture school tells Roark that the best architecture must copy the past rather than innovate and improve. Roark repeatedly loses jobs with architectural firms and commissions from clients because he is unwilling to copy conventional architectural styles. In contrast, Keating’s mimicry of convention brings him top honors in school and an immediate job offer. The same conflict between innovation and tradition is reflected in the career of Roark’s mentor.

In Rand’s views, this is more about praising capitalism, but in Genshin the Akademiya functions as capitalism itself does so Kaveh’s rather fighting the suppression of arts in the professional field against the prioritization of capitalist interests.

Anyway. Yeah. Haitham and Kaveh portray the two main themes depicted thru the protagonist in Rand’s novel, engaging with her philosophical ideas but discrediting her flawed point of view to offer a more interesting and compelling analysis of personal freedom & artistic innovation.

(Of course you can interpret kavetham with a romantic lens or frame thei relationship as romantic on the basis of that line but it most definitely was motivated by this narrative)

#Genshin lore #genshin analysis #Alhaitham #kaveh #sumeru #long post

15 notes · View notes

craske · 21 days

Note

I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

#as for uni im almost done with it!!#wowzers masters degree i will kill myself tho bc idk what to do after it #but thats an issue for the future me i guess!!!#anyway again thank you so much your message was really sweet and meant a lot to me #im sorry i dont reach out much like i said interaction online is soo scary and also insanely difficult lately?? it sucks #as the twitter users say thank you oomfie <3 #ask #k4ik4yk04 #long post

2 notes · View notes

neptune-ian · 26 days

Note

on top of looks and aesthetics, i feel very alienated from the rest of society and how it regardless of the era still wants young women to be a certain way to fit in, im sure some people mean it when they say looks dont matter but they 100% do, obviously men my age have their ideals of women but i dont want to resort to wearing clothes that look like they would fit a child or a small dog

then theres mbti nowadays and other things like compatability to take into consideration, i feel like even if i tried to get myself to like what other women like it would feel like im forcing it on myself. one thing i refuse to do is cutesy kawaii or that cottegecore or whatever else thats generically girly again maybe if i was younger and id have this "aesthetic" from a younger age but in my age idgaf anymore, i dont even care for expensive brands either thats what i mean unless we force ourselves to care then its going to be even slimmer chances of meeting someone

we didnt have these labels when i was younger its honestly so ridiculous to say we should or shouldnt find somenie attractive based on one single attribute like fashion or body or appearance or makeup sadly a lot of younger guys seem to be really really specific in how their ideal typr should appear to be thats probs why i wouldnt appeal to anyone i have no particular style no aesthetic neither pretty nor ugly just average in everything and at everything

like they say they could want nerds or geeks but its still very vague and vein. honestly i dont think i have a type of guy anymore due to the fact i have never been asked if we have never been asked we must not fit in to what they want in a woman, which is usually someone who wants kids and they must be extroverted or loud and obnoxious or they must wear the skimpiest clothes and go partying or have a large social circle. the thing i find baffling is why do other girls not feel pressured to be all that bc when people request for idols again theyre very adamant on exactly what they want so ik im none of their fs lol

id have to alter the way i am some way or other and i dont have the energy for it anymore. in college i literally wore similar or repetitive outfits all bc i couldnt be arsed to stand out and all the other girls in my class were treating college like it was a fashion show or statement they had to make one girl i knew she took an hour to get ready her makeup would match her nails would match her outfit and bags would all match. bruh it takes me roughly 5 mins if that to put an "outfit" together no makeup if people dont like the way i look or dress screw it all i will be single until i die and i dont care anymore

thanks for replying to my rambling asks i appreciate it as no one else seems to discuss these issues among society

MBTI is lile Astrology. It’s not scientically proven and even psychologists don’t like that concept so why do you take consideration of it?

Sorry anon but it’s a bit stupid to consider compatibility stuff as something « important » or « real » to have and maintain a relationship. That prooves that you just can’t see how life really works because it doesn’t revolve around those compatibility things. It revolves around efforts, time, patience, understanding, compromise, (sometimes sacrifices), love and compassion etc.

In SK they believe in the blood type compatibility. Will you trust that too to believe if you’d have a chance to be in a relationship??? That’s so much absurd. Anon wake up! 😂 open your eyes the world is bigger than what you see and feel like. It’s more than MBTI, Astro, Tarot, Blood type or whatever else. I am a Pisces rising and yet I still am not that close to Pisces. Astro is not a big deal honey. It’s a tool just like MBTI and Enneagram and whatnot. It’s not meaningful stop trying to find reasons to lower yourself or your situation but you do you at the end lol. I will NEVER use astro or MBTI to know whether or not I should date a guy. Don’t think that those things dictate your life cause it is not and you will just stay stuck up. But maybe your a defeatist and believe you can’t control some area of your life and that’s on you…

I am someone I would consider myself as average and I am okay with it because what’s the point of being attractive to 99% of the world? My worth doesn’t revolve around my beauty… I am much more than appearance. I am also more than my flaws and qualities as well. I am a human, a sentient being with aspirations, beliefs, dreams, will, hopes, fears, like and dislike, struggles and strength. I don’t care if x and y don’t care about that, I care about myself. You should do too anon :)

I don’t need to be on fleek every single day, I don’t need to feel desired everyday. How do you think Marylin Monroe felt even though she was desired and loved??? She felt lonely.

Just be true to yourself and stick with it, stop thinking the world is against you and isn’t helping you because clearly as you are telling about « compatibility » as some sort of « truth »… put yourself together because that’s litterally how you will NEVER find someone anon. You are your own enemy but… you know the song :

You do you anon~ 🙂‍↕️

#neptune’s anon ask #neptune’s talk

6 notes · View notes

how-to-do-it-better · 1 month

Text

A Guy's Guide To His 1st Date

A How-To guide for Those terrified about the other sex.

With contributions from DG Hear. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Throughout the years dating has changed. Those who have gone back into dating in recent years, for whatever reason, have probably found it's a whole new ball game. But more than a few people enter their twenties, still terrified to initiate a romantic venture.

Some are still impacted by traumatic events of their youth. Still others are limited because of harmful indoctrination by an influential person whose even more screwed up. And some are just simply so shy, and terrified that they might face rejection, or even ridicule.

Folks re-entering the dating scene, later in life, have a similar anxiety, because of societal changes, over time.

Most cultures still expect a guy to take the initiative. While gals are not scorned for overtly expressing interest first; the reality is that ladies are generally feeling even more anxiety about the elusive first date.

One of the easiest ways to ‘break the ice’ is with eye contact and a warm smile, while greeting someone you have particular interest in. If the other person is ‘caught off guard’ you might not get an immediate affirmation of their interest. But be patient. They’ll think about it and make adjustments upon re-engagement with you; usually by their own initiative.

Teens have this crazy notion of establishing a ‘going with’ status, rather than simply having one social event together. Kids tell you who they’re ‘going with’ even though they never went anywhere.

If your cordial relationship seems mutually reciprocated, It’s time to ask; “Can I take you out on a date?” If that works out well, Have the date soon. It doesn’t need to be a big event, or include expensive meals or concerts.

The truth is, what you both really are looking forward to is, each other. Trust me, a girl will text her girlfriend after, and she won’t talk about the places she went to, she’ll talk about the guy who took her there.

When you’re first date is nearly over, ask to hold her hand as you walk to the car, or to her home. An enthusiastic response means she likes you. She may want you to kiss her when you say ‘good night.’

Be sure to get all her contact info before the date is over. And send her a text within a day, thanking her for sharing a date with you. Take some time to assess if you want a 2nd date, or if what you really want is someone else. Separate, in your mind, whether it’s her you like, or dating, itself.

Getting past your first brave dating effort is a huge accomplishment, and you should feel great about it. If you’re still looking for the ‘right one,’ your next effort will be easier than your first brave act. But how do you find the kind of person you really want to pursue?

Let’s hear more from DG, about getting into the dating arena.

How to find someone to date:

To begin, we need to know some of the places to find someone willing to go out with us. This shouldn't be too hard to do. I might say, before I start that, most of my comments and helpful hints are mainly for the male gender, but some ladies might find some interesting facts as well.

Malls and movie houses can be a good place to meet people as well as the Laundromat and your local bars and lounges. A nicer way is if you are lucky enough to have friends to help you find that right person. If all else fails, you can go on-line and find a friend or nowadays we have rent-a-date escort services. If you can't find at least a hooker then you might as well stop reading now. I can't help you. Just buy your hand a beer and watch a porno movie.

Even though this is some serious stuff I'm explaining to you, we still might find a laugh or two.

How-to guide for kissing:

Kissing used to be easy, but not anymore. First, let's deal with braces. If your woman (this stuff is for adults) wears braces, be very careful and kiss her lips very softly. If you apply too much pressure, her lips will push against her gums and cut the hell out of the inside of her lips and your date will be over before it began.

If you both wear braces, you might stick to kissing on the cheek only. If you get caught in a big lip lock, you might get your braces locked together also. You won't even be able to make it to the hospital unless you get a friend to drive you there. Give kissing some serious thought before proceeding with braces.

Older people are now out in the dating game. If you have false teeth, you might watch your kissing also. Light pressure open-mouth kisses are acceptable. Do not under any circumstances try French or kissing using the tongue. Just picture this: your woman sticks her tongue in your mouth and your dentures come loose. Need I say more?

Another thing about kissing; especially open-mouth and giving tongue type kisses. You might want to consider where your date's mouth has been prior to the date with you. This could be a problem when using a dating service or prostitute.

How to disrobe your date:

Let's begin by me undressing my lover. I try to unbutton her blouse but the little button doesn't seem to come through the little slit like it's supposed to. Finally, I get it undone and see her breasts staring me in the face behind her bra. Here is the problem I found out last year.

I reach my hand behind her back while we are kissing, feeling for the clasp on her bra. Where the hell is the damn thing? I'm an ultra male; I don't want to have to ask her. Finally in a nice way, we unlock lips and she says, "The clasp is in the front." Then in a very faint voice I hear the word, "Moron."

I quickly undo the clasp and let these big babies bounce out. I want to pull her bra off but it gets tangled in her blouse. Now I have to pull them off together trying to get them off her shoulders in a loving way like they do on TV.

After getting feedback on the subject, I now know what to do and will pass it on to you. While kissing her when her blouse is still on, rub your finger along her bra line. If it's smooth all the way across then the clasp is in the front and you won't feel so stupid. If you feel it in the middle of her back while rubbing the bra line then, of course, it has a back clasp. You should remove her blouse before un-clasping her bra.

Next, I want to remove her jeans. I have now learned to tell my ladies to remove them before climbing on the bed; saves a lot of hassle, unless you're a specialist in removing a woman's clothing. I made the mistake a few times of trying to gently remove her jeans while she is lying on the bed. Big, big mistake! Women buy jeans at least one size too small! The jeans look great on them, nice and tight, but they are hell to pull off. Believe me; I've tried more than once. If you can get it over her ass, you might have a chance. I never seemed to be that lucky, as I had to climb up and try to pull the jeans under her ass, scooting each side down about an inch at a time.

You want to do this without pulling her panties off at the same time. You might have to pull her panties and jeans down a little and then kind of pull the panties back up and then back to the jeans again. Hopefully, you were lucky enough to get the jeans down to her thighs. If she has big thighs, you might have to keep scooting the jeans one side at a time. Whatever you do, keep complimenting her on her body, even if she has thunder thighs and stretch marks. Don't ask her to spread her legs - it doesn't sound good. If she doesn't do it automatically for you, then scoot up between them and push her legs apart yourself, but not too far - you still have to get her jeans off.

How to get on the bed:

Hopefully, by now your date is naked. Somewhere along the line you should have removed your own clothing. You should usually leave your underwear on till you are ready to expose your big Johnson (cock).

Last year I tried to explain getting on the bed while kissing. A totally bad idea!

I wanted us to fall together on the bed gently like they do in the movies. So I held onto her and kind of pulled her toward me so we could fall together onto the bed. Big mistake! I didn't say anything to her while she lost her footing and fell on me as we bumped heads. It kind of killed the mood since now she needed a couple of aspirin for the headache she was quickly getting.

Another time my date and I were kissing when we fell together on the bed. She sent me her dental bill for the loose teeth she received.

I've never gotten that falling together down right. I tried to fall on the bed by myself over a hundred times so I could explain to the readers the best way to do this. Believe me, there isn't any good way to fall on the bed alone, let alone with a partner. Now I just tell my lady friend to climb on the bed and then I climb on top of her. I can't believe how many aspirin I have saved, and no more dental bills. Of course I might add, if she wants to be on top, that's okay too.

How to use foreplay:

Women love foreplay. The first thing and also the main thing to remember is to compliment! compliment! compliment! Women love compliments. I don't care if it's her hair, boobs, belly, feet, toes or nose, compliment her on it. You will be glad you did.

Hopefully your woman should now be lying on your bed with only her panties on. You should climb on the bed and have some foreplay before going much further. Women usually like this unless you are as inept as I was till I started practicing on using foreplay.

Let's talk a little about her erogenous zones. Women have many of them. Most men know about her nipples, neck, lips and the whole vaginal area. There are others that I have found lately and would like to pass on to you.

The shoulders: I can't tell you how many women have let me rub their shoulders. Of course you start there and they may let you massage a lot of other places as well. Women also love to have their feet massaged. Rub the little balls under their toes. After being on their feet all day, they will love you for this. If they have nice cute clean feet, you might consider sucking a toe or two. Of course you will need to check their feet out pretty good before sucking any toes. You have to be the judge here.

One of the newest places I have found that turn women on, is the area between their belly button and their mound. I can't tell you what a hot area this is on most women. I have to admit that this area is a turn on for me too, knowing that I am probably minutes away from pay dirt. Try both rubbing and kissing this area. No matter how big your woman is, this area is a turn-on.

Time to start the foreplay: I was kissing my woman over and over again. I was planting my lips against her taking her breath away. Literally! I didn't know she wasn't able to breath and she started kicking and moving under me. I thought I was really getting her turned on. I was 'Jerry, the super kisser.' I found out she wasn't able to breathe through her nose. I guess I really took her breath away. You might want to ask or at least make the kisses short if you see this happening.

I started kissing her neck like they do in the movies. Again, another mistake! I sucked too hard and gave her a hickey. For those of you who don't know what a hickey is I'll explain. It's sucking hard on her neck or other soft places that leave a bruise. Most women don't want hickeys. It's embarrassing especially if other people see the bruises and she has to try to explain it. If she's married, you might be in 'mucho' trouble.

Kissing and playing with her boobs. This was information I passed along last year but it still holds true. The boobs or breasts are a big misunderstood area. Some women loved them played with. None like them mauled - believe me, I found out the hard way.

Remembering one of my first big breasted women, I couldn't wait to get hold of those big babies and I grabbed them. She screamed out, slapped me and went home. The next lady, I tried to just squeeze them hoping to turn her on. Again, a mistake! She told me I felt like a mammogram machine - you know; those machines that squeeze the shit out of a woman's tits. No woman - and I mean NO woman - wants her breasts squashed, regardless of the size of her boobs.

Here is the right way to do it. I learned after the loss of sex from many women. Don't get your hands near those babies until you have laid some light kisses on them, lots of light kisses. Don't bite! Remember that women do not want sucker bites or any kinds of bites or bruising they might have to explain. Sucking of the nipples are a big "Yes". Women like this - maternal instinct or something - but women love sucking, licking and kissing of the nipples. If the nipples get big, you're doing real good.

If you did the sucking and licking right, you may now gently massage the breasts. I usually get yelled at and slapped by this time or my woman goes home with sore boobs. If you succeeded to this point, then rub and gently massage her breasts and softly touch the nipples. Be damn gentle with the nipples here. She hopefully is getting into it by now and will let you start to squeeze those babies. If she's moaning or groaning, that is a good sign. If she's just lying there you might want to find out why. She may be sleeping or worse - dead. If she is dead, call 911 and go home. You will be considered a freak if you go any further. That was a joke, readers. You have to learn to laugh a little.

Here is some more information I passed along last year. I did get some negative feedback from a couple of women who said most men's bodies aren't attractive either. I totally agree with them. A beer belly or hairy back isn't the most exciting thing for a woman to look at. This is one of the reasons that under no conditions should you say anything negative about the body of your date.

If she has stretch marks or a rather large belly don't say anything negative. If you do, your night will be over. Remember most women's bodies do not look like the ones you see on the big screen or the calendar on the wall. If you look anything like me, be glad that you have anybody that moves lying there in front of you. Close your eyes if you have to, but rub and kiss the belly even if it's not attractive.

Let's keep going. Move your hand into her panties. If she has a pad on, you have a problem. Either you have to go further or get up and go home. At this point you might want to pull her panties off and check under the hood so to speak. If you pull her panties off along with the pad or pulled the string and removed the tampon, you have to decide how bad you want it. If she let you go this far, she definitely wants to do it. So what are you going to do? If you don't fuck her now, believe me, you never will!

These kinds of decisions never have to be made on TV shows.

Let's say she's on her period. Put on a condom and jump her bones. This is what I suggest you do. Use the stupid condom and have fun. If you don't have one or don't like wearing them - and I don't like them - just stick it in as long as you know she is disease free. Blood and cum will always wash off. She'll consider you the man for doing her during this period.

No blood? No problem, she probably wears it for leaks. It only happens in real life. Women laugh, women pee, the pad absorbs it. So, if the pad isn't wet, jump her bones. If the pad is wet, wipe her pussy off with a wash cloth - that's something you never see on TV but it does help. Then proceed to eat her out. Believe me; every woman except the really weird ones likes her pussy eaten out. She may not like to give head but she loves receiving it.

Let's talk a little about oral sex. It's a big decision these days. One thing every man ought to know. If you don't plan on eating her pussy then don't expect her to be giving you any head.

We had a big discussion last year over whether a person with false teeth should keep them in or take them out.

If your woman has false teeth and wants to give you a blowjob, let her remove said teeth. You do not need her to accidentally bite your dick. It hurts and might make it unusable for awhile. The warm gums feel great around it. Don't kiss her till she puts her teeth back in her mouth and maybe even use mouthwash.

I asked for opinions on this and here are a few I received.

"If you have false teeth, leave them in your mouth. It is gross for your date to see your teeth in a glass next to the bed."

"Sorry to say but that last part is a crock of shit. If she has false teeth, under no circumstances should you ask her to take them out. You'll think your dick is in a pussy that's just been fist fucked by a 10 ton truck....it'll be so loose that you won't feel anything. Nothing she can do will change it as without teeth the space in the mouth is so great that no cock can fill it and make it feel good for the guy. Furthermore, her jaws will ache so much from trying to suck and not being able to apply proper pressure...the only way she could; would be if the guy had one of those 14 inches, wide as a beer can cock you mentioned earlier."

"Look DG, I have to tell you. If she has false teeth and takes them off, you're in for a big surprise, not good at all. With no teeth it's impossible to suck properly and the vacuum needed to perform fellatio is absent; furthermore, her jaws will ache like crazy. Believe me, if she has false teeth, let her keep them on. There's no more danger of being bitten then if it was her real teeth."

Personally, if I'm eating a moist wet pussy, I take my teeth out so I can gum it and slurp in all the wet juices. The dentures take away from the feeling that I get. So, teeth or no-teeth, that is the question. As they say on Fox news, "You decide."

How to get that, "Oh, what a feeling":

Last year I said, "Most pussies are really not that pretty. I have seen a lot of them and still get turned on by them, regardless of how ugly they might be."

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I decided most all pussies are beautiful. Soft, wet, moist, what's not to love? Now the smell is another story. To me, not every pussy smells the same. If you like fish, it will be a plus for you. I know, in all the stories you read the writers are talking about the heavenly smell. It only smells like that when you are at your horniest. At that point every pussy looks and smells great!

A word or two about bushes. Most ladies trim their bushes some, younger ones mainly to trim up the hair for their bathing suit bottoms. On the TV they always look great. At the pool where I hang out, I always see the hair sticking out the sides of their suits. Looks funny but I can't help looking anyway. Of course I'm a pussy hound and the hair doesn't bother me, especially in a dim light. It seems that a number of ladies shave it all off. It's okay but I think I prefer to see some hair down there.

If you see some gray hair on it, don't worry about it. It means she probably knows how to use it. Experience you know is always good. If you get hair between your teeth, try to just remove it without being seen. She usually can't see you over her belly anyway.

Use of condoms is big these days; lots of diseases to worry about. I was watching a lot of porno movies so that I could give you good 'how to' information here. Most of the porn stars are wearing condoms in their films. It kind of takes away from the film but I guess the actors want to live to fuck another day.

I brought this up because in the porno films, they always remove the condom before coming. They jack themselves off on the partners back or ass. Sometimes they have their woman actress slide down and cum all over her face.

Now, a bit more honesty here. That's why I'm writing this how to, to tell you the truth. I talked to a number of women and none of them got anything out of me pulling my cock out of her pussy and coming on her back. Their answer was, "What the fuck?"

Also, I have yet to find the woman that says, "Pull your dick out of my pussy, I'm about ready to orgasm, but go ahead and cum on my face."

Use the condom, fill it up while in her pussy and then dispose of it. You'll both be glad you did.

Some more information from last year. I'm still not big on anal sex.

Ass fucking: It's not for everybody, including me. I've tried it and it really wasn't that good. My partner said it hurt like hell and there was more than one partner I tried it with. If they don't have an enema or some other way of cleaning it out, it smells. I don't know about you but to me shit stinks. I really don't want it on my dick, even though in some of these stories they seem to like the Hershey highway.

For those of you who like anal sex, that's great. I'm not knocking you or your likes and dislikes. I'm just trying to base my opinions and observations here. The first time I ass fucked, I thought my dick was going to blow up. It didn't fit very well. I used all kinds of lube which helped get it in but it hurt me and it hurt my partner. I just felt my time would have been better spent if I put it in a hot wet pussy. No hard feelings for the anal lovers.

I have found out that while fucking from behind, (doggie style) that a finger or two inserted into the anal passage may be a turn-on. For those who want to try it, make sure your fingers are lubed or you rubbed a lot of her juices there first.

Update from a friend: "If a woman lets a man take her in the ass and then shits all over the floor, it's not her fault. So don't hold her responsible - you asked for it. Clean up the mess yourself."

Underwear, for the man, is always interesting. If you expect to get any, make sure you don't have skid marks in your underwear. That is good advice for both sexes. TV and movie people never have skid marks. No woman is turned on by seeing the nicotine stains in your jockeys. Same goes for the guys not wearing under clothing. Shit stains in your jeans aren't so good either.

For the guys, if you don't have underwear on, pull your own zipper down. If any skin gets caught in the zipper, it hurts like hell and your night will be over before it begins. Your lady friend might be in too big a hurry when pulling down your zipper.

By DG Hear

2 notes · View notes

tea-with-evan-and-me · 3 months

Note

I blame the culture of “anti-cringe” and the death of the awkward tween phase for the slow fading of fandom culture. Everyone now wants to be cool and TikTok presentable. Curated. The media you consume is a reflection of your character now. Lame. If you like something too much you’re “hyper fixating”. God forbid they are caught liking something. Gone are the days where gif sets of Billie Joe Armstrong tweaking on methamphetamines would gather 10k notes… :(

this is very true. the pressure to be cool, presentable, affirmed and always opposite of whatever is currently deemed problematic means young people just do not act natural nowadays. it's very hard to have an online life that isn't this way when there's a legitimate and understandable fear of repercussions that can follow you. the current discourse about sephora kids/teens is a good example of the loss of innocence; we had to cut our teeth on all the way wrong shades of dream matte mousse foundation and lip smackers. that shit doesn't cut it nowadays lmfao the girls want retinol and hyaluronic acid serum for their 12-step anti-aging skincare routine at age 11. charlotte tilbury and fenty beauty. i know those of us who came of age during the time period all have a bit of trauma about the heroine chic beauty standards of the early 2000s, but i really don't know how i would cope psychologically if i was growing up in the age of social media as it is right now. we've somehow managed the illusion of being more accepting, more body positive, more open-minded.. while i simultaneously cannot imagine a worse time to be a young girl as it pertains to self-esteem and self-image. we rallied against magazines photoshopping celebrities on their covers because it set an unrealistic standard for us normal women, but now literally any average person AND celebrity/influencer can do the same thing before they post a photo of themselves on social media for all to see. even i have to remind myself none of it is real and what actual human skin looks like from time to time.

sorry this was a rant lol

2 notes · View notes

mariii1 · 2 years

Text

Will you be a Material Gworl or a Hot Girl this summer?💕

I finally have a masterlist now! 🥳 Sorry if it's not as aesthetically pleasing as other tumblrs, I'm getting there. The next reading I assure you will be spicyyyy and long😈

1: Definitely getting hot girl but we need to talk. You could feel stuck or stagnant right now. I think some of you are very much on guard or you're very open to an unnecessary degree. Like you're letting loose without actually being emotionally vulnerable or maybe you're over-sharing and you're being too open with others. this could be watching/consuming everything around you, particularly stuff from social media. I feel you just don't care about what you see anymore. a lot of you have resigned from the position of being a leader in some way. you just want to be on your own and do your own thing without feeling pressured to. Maybe you were surrounded by people who were very accomplished or you had parents who were very pushy. You may have felt like you were the only one in your group (and this could be age, grade, workplace, whatever) that wasn't super ambitious but now you kind of just accept it for what it is I feel like a lot of you are/going to be unrestrained and sometimes it feels more like escapism than actually just doing what you want. it's giving somebody who goes had strict parents then went to college and went overboard with everything because they don't know how to like moderate themselves without feeling suffocated. Like they tasted freedom for the first time and can’t get enough

2: you might not be either, its giving depressed Tumblr girl for a lot of you ☠️ People are feeling stagnant nowadays maybe my energy is projecting into the reading a little bit, but I thought this was the summer where Covid was finally starting to not get in the way of having fun for real… anyway for some reason I'm getting a lot of you are connected to pile 3 or attracted to pile 3, if you were attracted to it you should check it out, but I'm getting you might feel very limited, like in your head about something or a situation. for some of you this has to do with an idea you are very passionate about, maybe it's not going to as you an anticipated. this could be something you put a lot of time and effort into for some of you, this could even be a fantasy of a relationship with somebody who just rejected you or broke up with you/broke up with them now your dwhole world went upside down. I feel this summer you're going to be grieving a loss in some way or you're going to be very insecure in yourself. I see this might also be because of some other situation that happened fairly recently (it doesn't mean it started recently but it's just something that has been affecting you like since last month or so)

3: This is probably one of the most interesting readings I've done in a very long time. Yall got three 3 major arcanas, 2 of which are in the reverse being the sun and the magician, yet the world is upright and is at the center of the reading very interesting… some of you could have been attracted to pile 2 if you were I suggest you go and read that or you just have some connection to pile 2. So you could be a material girl this summer but for almost all of you you're letting go of this energy of either being extremely optimistic and not making any sort of changes towards your goals (like just waiting for them) you might have really overestimated your work and that sounds harsh but you might have overestimated your capabilities and you might have burnt out really quickly or realized how quickly how what you did/made compared to other people. and this doesn’t mean you’re some entitled narcissistic person but it simply could’ve been you're stepping into a new industry and you thought that you were ok/met the standard. You thought you were qualified in some way and thought you could handle whatever you’re doing but you realized very quickly that there was a lot more stuff you needed to learn and you kind of realized how inexperienced you were. this could also apply to education or knowledge in some type of way as well. So this summer you're going to be studying it up and making sure that you are where you need to be and I feel like you're not going to wait or depend on other people to tell you how you're doing. I think that might have been that what held you back in the first place. They're could’ve been people around you who weren't qualified and shouldn't have tried to give you advice and you took it in thinking that it might have been correct. this summer you're going to level up fr. for most of this is your whole 2022 maybe you've noticed/been working on this since 2020- I guess you are a material grl this summer

4: I'm getting a hot girl but for others you might be a sad girl this summer. There might be a situation that makes you feel very sad like you were betrayed (or will be 😰) you might feel really lonely as if you have no support and you're on your own. I feel like at first you're going to be very upset about this, it may have already happened for some of you but I'm getting for a lot of you this probably will happen in some form. maybe not exactlt as I described it though. you're gonna be finding out the truth about something; you could find out about some possible manipulation that you hadn't recognized before maybe this was somebody that under the disguise of helping you were just trying to get something from you. this could really apply to a lot of situations so take it how it resonates But I feel by the end of the summer, at least by the end of fal,l you're going to be ok you're gonna regain back your strength

5: This group oooh this group is going to have a lot of tea 🍵 I'm specifically getting for a lot of you there could be a man that might have came towards you and offered some sort of romantic or sexual offer and you said no. this might be someone who you have to have a lot of boundaries with. You weren’t necessarily “bitchy” or you could have been a bit rude but you really made it clear that you don't like them. They could have done something you found undesirable I feel like you're going to get a lot of other suitors (some of you might just seem them as flies 🤭) and believe they aren’t worth your time. for others I feel like these are/gonna be people that you may actually have to work with or that you were working with they might get feelings for you or try to get closer to you in some way. I'm gonna say a lot of you really want to stay alone this summer uh so this is very much giving hot girl, like megan thee stallion curving their asses and being unapologetic about it🤧, you could be both a material gworl and a hot girl. ok we love hot girls trying to get money. Yall are v cool. In all honesty this could happen during a school project or something like you're taking summer classes and you have to do group project and people are hitting on you or you're at work and you get a customer thats hitting on you or like your coworker keeps on talking to you

#pick a card #tarot #pac #pick a pile #queer tarot #love tarot reading #tarot reading #pick a deck #pick an image #pick a picture

44 notes · View notes

astranva · 1 year

Note

i’ll gobble every opportunity i get that proves harry is in deed a human who has a personality and not just a celebrity

I’m not trying to get too deep but this is something that I was literally just talking about yesterday. I do the exact same thing because there is something very disingenuous about people who just use their social media to promote themselves. If you look at Harry’s Instagram up until 2016 he was very active and fun on social media. Whether it was his main account that he had, or his Instagram, or his Twitter Harry had a personality and showcased it. But for whatever reason he stopped doing so and since 2016 all of the post that he has posted on Instagram have had to do with him promoting his work. Whether it’s been his albums, or movies or pleasing or posting Professional photos from his concerts that’s all we have been getting for a really long time. So whenever he does use his social media to showcase his personality a bit or you can tell that he was the one actually doing it it’s more fun. I feel like Instagram has started as a fun way to share things with people that you know or people that you didn’t know and now has just become a place to show a very altered, and distant Version of yourself or to promote whatever you’re doing. Like with his Instagram post you can tell that it’s not him doing it and that is his team who posted these pictures so him showcasing little things every now and then seems more Genuine and it is nice to see. I always have people take a break from social media because it is it the most healthy thing in the world but I feel like you can alter or Tailor your social media to things that you want to see and the algorithm is only going to show you things that you want to see. I feel like Harry’s team and maybe even him have been trying to make him somewhat like Beyoncé. What I mean is Beyoncé doesn’t depressed anymore she does not communicate with fans and the media in the way that she used to. She will drop music, do absolutely no price for it go on tour and then go quiet for years at a time. She also will post pictures of Herself before paparazzi can take pictures of her so that means that the paparazzi pictures are basically useless. Beyoncé’s Instagram is literally just her fits and that’s it. I feel like Harry’s team is trying to do the same with him. But with him it just feels very forced.Beyoncé with someone who never really participated in social media at all and continues to not do so but hairy with someone who is so active on social media and participated in it and then just stopped

i agree with every word you said. i wish he’d see more of him. i genuinely believe that harry’s team is so fucking powerful and smart so they know what they’re doing, but like you said, they’re trying to make him so unattainable and not to put all the blame on his team, he’s doing so too.

i don’t believe harry owes us anything but i also believe fan-celebrity connection is so important and i’m not saying he needs to share who he’s seeing, his texts, or whatever, but it’s just so people can view him in a light that is humane.

however, a big part of me believes that yes they’re trying to make him such an unattainable icon, but also because they’re trying to avoid him getting cancelled from any tweet or picture because nowadays, you never know what’s offensive to people and what people will cancel you for. the recent drama has been good for his movies and whatever (not so much but still), but with problematic social media, it’s worse.

idk. i miss his stupid tweets and his “-stagram” posts sm and i sigh at the fact that him giving us crumbs of personality is enough to have us spiralling but maybe it’s a personal choice he made to avoid social media pressure. i don’t know x

4 notes · View notes

aldjia23 · 2 years

Note

This guy told me he was interested, wanted to meet me, we exchanged numbers but I kept my distance because I’ve had men waste my time and lead me on, and not keep their word. His interest faded .. due to distance and probably because other women are easier. Im not bitter over it but I did block him because I found myself keeping tabs on him in a unhealthy way, and comparing myself to the women he followed and interacted with. Im also not one to indulge in flirting / sex / dating casually. It’s not for me. I tried and it really affected my mental health. Do you think it’s worth it to block forever or until I feel like I’ve healed whatever part of myself causes me to obsess/compare? Or maybe it was a mistake to block in the first place and I should’ve simply taken a break from social media as a whole. Regardless I’d keep the door open to work on art with him but as far as anything sexual/romantic that door is shut forever. I’ve become too paranoid, and certain behaviors he’s displayed has made me feel like I could never trust him fully. Any advice?

First of all thanks for opening up and asking me for advice. From what I can see through your message it seems like you haven't fully healed from your past yet which means it's probably best for you to focus on that journey completely and on yourself. Social media can be really toxic and comparing yourself to others is only gonna make it worse.. I can definitely relate. Maybe take a break from IG for a while and focus on your self love & confidence journey. If you felt like blocking him, your gut feeling probably told you to and there's no problem with that. But I think it's important to not close your heart, be yourself and enjoy getting to know people. Don't put pressure on a situation and ask yourself: do I even like this person? do they add to my peace and happiness or are they not worthy of my time? I've been in similar situations where I felt like I could never trust a man again and it's hard to even trust people nowadays but I've also learned that no matter what happens, I've always got my own back. If you actually like someone and you get played in the end, don't think that you've wasted your time. Be thankful that it showed you what you don't want in the future and find peace in knowing that you gave all you could but they weren't able to take the love you wanted to give them and that's okay. You'll find someone that will be more than grateful for it and he'll treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Always remember only hurt people hurt people. And to give you advice on the situation with the dude, if his interest faded already he doesn't deserve you in the first place. If he's not willing to give it time and try to get to know you he's probably not ready for something serious. Never lower your standards! You can dm me and lmk if something happened in the meantime or if you need any other advice, I'd be happy to give you my pov. 🤍

5 notes · View notes

vanilladaises-rp · 2 years

Note

Teaching is going terribly holy shit good so far. Also I’ll be in my final year of graduate school so I’ll be definitely feeling the pressure. But here’s some advice about college that I’ve learned is crucial.

GO TO CLASS AND TAKE NOTES: Like seriously, go to class and take notes. You cannot imagine how many people skip class and think they’re going to get by like in high school and realize too late. You learn through your senses, which is usually sight, sound, reading, and writing. If you miss a class, you only rely on reading. It matters.

Talk to your Professors: Whenever you can, talk with your professors, especially during their office hours, whether you need help on a certain topic, talking about the field they’re in, or just getting to know them as a person. I have probably a handful of professors that I’ve personally befriended and talk to on the daily. And they’ve all written me recommendation letters for jobs or grad school applications.

Network, Network, Network: Go to whatever information sessions that your college’s career center is hosting like how to write an effective resume or cover letter or any career fairs. One of the things that I’ve learned is that you really have to market yourself. Nowadays, a degree just isn’t sufficient enough to get a job straightaway. You have to talk to other people, especially if they’re professionals in a field you’re interested in, and talk to them and/or send them an email on how you would like to talk to them about something that interests you. Is it nerve racking? Yes. But does it get you in their radar? Yes. And that’s what matters.

Socialize: If you’re going to be a freshman and are either going to live on campus or are going to spend a majority of your time on campus even if you’re living at home/your apartment, make friends. As the years progress and you become a sophomore, junior, and senior, it’s going to be hard to make friends. Join any student-led club that interests you, whether it’s K-Pop, Anime, or even Econ Club. I’ve made so much friends at my college’s Korean and Japanese student clubs who I still talk to this day. It’s better to be around like-minded people who share the same interests as you to easily form relationships. And as for social anxiety, just remember that some people are on the same boat as you, so don’t stress out too much.

Thank you 🗝 anon It means a lot to me! I’m gonna save and practice this advice, I just feel like I’ve made this image in my head that college is scary and stressful, and Idk why but I always pictured professors being mean???? Like really really strict and mean????? Don’t ask why cause idk

I’ve just been trying to tell myself to chill and that it’s not as bad as I’m making it seem but I am an overthinker so it’s harder to say than do. Also I’ve just genuinely never thought I was smart enough for college/uni. Like im not even trying to bring myself down, I’ve just always thought that way. I was labeled as special ed in school since i was child so maybe that’s it???? Idk, Nonetheless I’ll try my best to stay positive and try to stay calm.

Also idk if your allowed to but if you ever need to rant about teaching, feel free to let out your rage in the inbox Im all ears 💕

#daisy diaries #🍨#🗝

2 notes · View notes

lipsticksamurai · 4 months

Text

Showing Off A Fake Image On Social Media

Social media has made a shift from a place to express ourselves to an arena for self-promotion.

The internet itself is just a mirror of what our society has evolved into. These days we are increasingly concerned with ourselves and what we need. Living like this puts people under constant pressure to perform and compete. Because of this stress, we forget that what we really want is for people to remember us for who we were, not for what we did.

The Three Lessons For Self Improvement

Here are the 3 most significant lessons about becoming a better person:

• The world today emphasizes too much of the “me” extrovert inside of us, but things used to be different.

• We have lost the connection with the moral values that bring us true happiness.

• To find real character, acknowledge your flaws, and throw away your pride.

The Two Personalities

Each of us is filled with two competing personality types, called Adams.

Adam I is the part of us that focuses on the external. He is most comfortable in our success-driven society because he wants a career, wealth, and social status.

We’ve almost forgotten the Adam II personality in today’s society. He is an introvert that has a strong moral compass, values, and virtues. This other self within us is what makes us human by giving us virtues like kindness, devotion, and courage. Though we all have both, only one can dominate at the same time, and Adam I dominates in our society today.

Accomplish Anything Mindset

Instead of using principles such as integrity, commitment, and kindness to lead our actions, nowadays, we increasingly follow our desires wherever they lead us. For example, the world now emphasizes that whatever we set our mind to, we can accomplish.

Though it might sound inspiring, this allows us to reduce everything we do into an equation of cost and opportunity. Instead of investing time in things out of loyalty or love, we focus on whatever helps us climb the social ladder.

Unfortunately, our lives now revolve around how we do things instead of why.

The Problematic Modern Parenting

The days of focusing on a loving parent-child relationship are fading, while children are increasingly becoming a tool for self-promotion. Report cards and sports victories are badges of honour more for parents than children.

Rather than investing time in making sure kids are well-rounded, parents push kids to learn skills that will look good on a resume, whether they enjoy them or not.

Acknowledge Your Flaws

The more concerned we become with the self, the more we lose sight of our deeper morals. So what can you do about it? Be more honest about your flaws. Being open and realistic about weaknesses will help you get over your self-centeredness and make it easier to embrace moral and social values like love and compassion for others.

We don’t have any problems sharing information about our lives. But we need to create less narcissistic content and instead talk more about our struggles.

Throw Away Your Pride

Throwing away pride is also essential to becoming humble and building good character. Pride blinds us to our weaknesses, inhibits the aid we receive from others, makes cruelty possible, and deludes us into believing we are the author of our own lives. We can rid ourselves of pride by admitting our flaws and accepting the help of others.

Only by throwing away this central vice can we really balance Adam I and Adam II, thus finding fulfilment.

Stop Seeking Happiness

Happiness is a byproduct of living an intentional life, it is not something you chase after as a means to its own end. We need to engage in a lifelong conversation with ourselves constantly negotiating our weakness with moral fortitude as our leverage.

The Humility Code

The Humility Code consists of certain principles that guide us towards moral uprightness. It is a counter to the moral ecology that currently rules the 21st century and aims to depict how to live and what to live for.

Life is essentially a moral drama, not a hedonistic one. Live for holiness, not happiness.

The Power Of Flaws

The goal of life is overcoming our personal moral struggles. To do this we need an accurate depiction of our nature; we need to accept our inherent flaws as living beings.

While flawed, we also have the tools for liberation. Introspection allows us to become aware of our sins, and engage in a never-ending struggle against ourselves.

Humility And Pride

When engaging with our sins we need humility. Humility is our greatest virtue because it accurately depicts human nature relative to the seemingly infinite universe. Alone we are the underdogs against our sins; humility reminds us of this.

Pride is a central vice. Pride blinds us to our weaknesses and tricks us into thinking we are better than who we actually are and aims to prove we are better than those around us.

Muting Our Ego

Defeating weakness often means quieting the self.” Mute the ego. Equanimity will prepare us for the ups and downs that are inevitable to our journey. Battling weakness requires modesty, a higher purpose, and the capacity for reverence and admiration.

Leadership With Humility

The best leader tries to lead along the grain of human nature rather than go against it. Leadership is the balance between values and goals. And a good leader recognizes the contrast between the two due to our selfish nature. Therefore, it is the leader’s job to limit the poor decisions made by the group and take advantage of the good.

The leader does not aim for perfection because he understands that is not possible. Instead, his aim is to leave the group slightly better off from where it started.

Becoming Mature

The moral ecological shift outlined may not lead to fame or fortune but it will breed maturity. We can become better. Better is based solely on where we used to be and is not measured through comparison with others. The mature person has moved from fragmentation to centeredness, has achieved a state in which the restlessness is over, and the confusion about the meaning and purpose of life is calmed.

Maturity is the sole indicator of success against our weaknesses, not riches or fame.

0 notes