#'50% serious at best proposals'

[estrellami-1]

The Easiest Thing (I’ve Ever Done)

Had an idea. I don’t know if it’s anything, or if it makes any sense, but I like it. I hope y’all do too!

The camera’s shaky, moving from Eddie trying to place his phone down, making sure to keep his face in frame. “Baby,” he sings, looking off-camera. “Would you peel me an orange?”

A slight pause before, “Hypothetical or literal?”

Eddie blinks. “Uh. Literal?”

“How many do you want?”

Eddie gapes. “Just- just like that? No teasing? Nothing about me being capable? Nothing at all?”

“It’s an orange, babe. ‘S not like me carrying you out of-”

Eddie scrambles for his phone, and the video cuts off.

It picks up again later. They’re in the living room now, and Eddie’s filming Steve, who had just asked him a question. “Say it again.”

“Say-?”

“The question you just asked me. Ask me again.”

Steve gestures to the TV. “We just watched 50 First Dates, Eds, I don’t think it’s crazy of me to ask if you’d do that for me.”

“Stevie. Baby. Light of my life. Look me in my eyes and ask me again. But before you do, think about two years ago when you got a concussion and the resulting short-term amnesia.”

Steve closes his eyes and leans his head back with a groan. “I’m an idiot.”

“Are not,” Eddie says hotly, and the video cuts off again.

It picks up again later. It’s dark in the room, and Eddie’s got his finger to his lips, as if he’s telling the audience to be quiet. “Say that again, baby?”

Steve mumbles something unintelligible, then, “The elephant’s back.”

“Yeah? What’s it doing?”

The camera moves to focus on Steve’s face. He’s clearly still asleep, even as he frowns. “He’s proposing. ‘S my job.”

“Your job?”

“Mhm. ‘M gonna do it.” Another frown. “Screw you, elephant.”

The camera jumps to Eddie, who’s got a hand covering his mouth. The video cuts off again.

It picks up again later. Eddie’s in the same position as the first part of the video. There’s background sounds—rushing water and clanking porcelain—that means Steve’s washing dishes.

“I feel like you’re mad at me.”

The clanking stops. The water shuts off. “What?”

Eddie shrugs. “You’ve been kinda tense ever since I got home.”

“Baby,” Steve whispers. “No. No, I’m not mad at you. I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. I’ve just got a lot in my head right now.”

Eddie nods. “Can I help?”

Steve hums. “You can listen.”

Eddie smiles. “I can do that.”

“Okay, cool.” The water turns back on. “So I was talking to Robin earlier-”

The video cuts off again.

It picks up again later. They’re back on the couch, but this time Steve’s engrossed in a book, lips silently moving as he reads. “Baby.”

“Hm?”

“You mouth the words to yourself when you read.”

Steve flushes scarlet. “Shuddup.”

“No!” Eddie laughs. “No, I love it! It’s adorable!”

“You don’t.” He sniffs, but does nothing to hide the smile on his face. “It’s not.”

“It is,” Eddie argues back, camera jumping around as he shifts to sit up. “And I’ll prove it.”

“Yeah? How?”

“Uh. That part I don’t know yet. But I’ll figure it out!”

“Mhm.” Steve’s lips twitch up at the corners.

“I’m serious.”

“Mhm.”

“I love every part of you.”

Steve’s smile softens into something lovesick. “I know.”

“Especially the parts you don’t like.”

Steve groans and covers his face with the book, and Eddie chuckles as he turns the camera off.

The last time it picks up, Steve’s the one setting it up. “Babe?” He calls.

“Yeah?”

“Would you love me if I was a worm?”

“If you were a worm?”

“Yeah. Would you love me.”

Eddie walks into frame to grab Steve’s hands and hold them. “My darling,” he murmurs, “I fall more in love with you every day. It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done and the easiest decision I’ll ever make. And I make it every day, I have for years now. If you were a worm, I’d build you the best little worm house. I’d do all the research and find out what you can eat, and I’d always have that. I’d learn to speak worm so I could talk to you.” He lifts one of Steve’s hands to his lips. “If you were a worm? Baby, I’d love you more than any worm’s ever been loved before.”

“Oh,” Steve squeaks.

Eddie presses a brief kiss to his lips before pulling away. “Why don’t you turn the camera off and come join me upstairs?”

Steve gapes even as he reaches for his phone. “You absolute asshole-”

“I meant every word, baby. Let me show you how much?”

Steve flounders, and the video cuts off for the last time.

Permanent Taglist: @justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect @i-less-than-three-you @alyelf @quarble @messrs-weasley @littlewildflowerkitten @vankaar @starman-jpg @bornonthesavage @steddie-there @goodolefashionedloverboi @mischivarien @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @platinum-sunset @just-ladyme @steddiestains @swimmingbirdrunningrock @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @martinskis-lydias @notaqueenakhaleesi @sleepyboosstuff @bestwifehaver @m-owo-n @thatonebadideapanda @finalmoondragon @velocitytimes2 @callmeanythjing @ajeff855 @ilikeititspretty @knitsforthetrail @sillysparrow @that-one-corvid @ace-is-bored @inadequatecowboy @harpymoth @weirdandabsurd42

[grey342]

Bathroom

Phil Wenneck x reader

synopsis - Reader has been avoiding Phil so he pulls her aside at a party to talk..

warnings - MDNI 18+ content, semi-public sex, Phil being kinda dominant, fingering, use of names (slut), edging (kinda) and unprotected sex.

authors note - *insert 'Bathroom' by Montell Fish* This was the winner from the poll, I really hope you guys like it. Thank you for being so patient, you have no idea how much it means to me! I'm going to attempt to get one fic out per week but no promises. So sorry for the wait but I hope you love it <3

please do not steal my work - belongs to @grey342

He's been eyeing you up all night.

You’re celebrating Stu's promotion. He’s been waiting five months for this and you’re so happy that he finally got it.

You and the guys decided to do a surprise party for him with his friends, co-workers and family. You’ve been trying to distract yourself all night and keep your distance from him but, the tension hanging in the air doesn’t go unnoticed.

A couple of months ago you and Phil made a mistake. An amazing one but still, a mistake.

The group went out for their weekly hangout this time, in a bar. You had just broke up with your fifth boyfriend of the year and to say you were feeling depressed was an understatement. Phil was recently divorced and couldn’t be fucking happier. And what better way to celebrate than getting shitfaced with his best friends.

You were wearing a short green dress that showed off your cleavage and it was taking everything in Phil to not tear it off you right there and then. He was wearing his classic black button-up shirt, not done up all the way, and a pair of slacks with a bulging print in them. You had to keep your legs tightly pressed together whenever you looked at him. At one point you swore you drooled a little.

Neither of you would ever admit the sexual tension that hid in the cracks of your friendship. But it was there and it had been since high school. Moving on, a few too many drinks were had and the next morning you woke up not in your bed and not alone. Flashbacks of the night before ran rampant through your mind, you didn't want to face it so you got up and left.

You didn't speak for a couple weeks after that incident. Eventually, it came up when you had a moment alone at Doug and Tracy's:

You wait until you're one hundred percent sure everyone else is out of earshot.

"We need to talk." You say direct.

"Yeah, we do," he inhales, "i'm gonna be straight with ya' that was the best sex i've ever had." You open your mouth and close it, like a goldfish. Out of the list of things you had expected him to say, that didn't even make top 50.

"I-uh, come again?"

"No I haven't since then unfortunately." He smirks.

"Phil," You sigh disappointedly.

"C'mon, you're telling me that wasn't the best sex of your life? Hm?" He stares into your eyes. You would never admit it to him, but it really was the best night of your life. You remember the way he used his hands and mouth. How he made you scream with only two fingers. You were awakened from your daydreaming by his chuckling.

"That's what I thought."

"Phil I have no idea-"

"Yeah sure you don't now listen, I had a good time, you had a good time. Both of us just got out of a relationship so we're not looking for anything too serious. So I propose a friends with benefits agreement."

"What?" You say, almost too loudly.

"Lower your voice, I mean I don't see the big deal. All it would be is meaningless sex, anytime we want. NO strings attached. And we could break it off at any point. What do you say?" He puts out his hand.

"Really? We're gonna shake on it?," his expression doesn't falter, "fine. But we have to agree to not catch feelings and if we do we must break off the agreement immediatley."

"Sweetheart, don't take this the wrong way but that's not gonna happen." He nodded towards his hand and you shook it, not realising what the hell you just got yourself into.

Back to the present moment, you were talking with some of Stu's work colleagues when you felt a presence behind you:

"Sorry guys do you mind if I steal her for one second?" A voice you would recognise in a crowd of screaming people says. All the men nodded as you felt a strong hand grip your arm and drag you away.

He pulled you into the bathroom, shoved you against the door and locked it. You try to avoid his gaze but he grabs your chin forcing you to look at him.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He grunts.

"Avoiding you? I'm not avoiding you."

"Don't lie to me." He hardens his grip, squishing your cheeks together. You thighs clamp together.

"I'm not lying to-" Your cut of by your own moan as his hands reach under your dress and rub over your clit through your panties.

"What was that? Hm?" He prompts but your mind is too fogged with the pleasure he's currently giving you.

He moves his other hand from your face down to your breasts and begins fondling them, playing with your nipples through the fabric. Your head is spinning.

"What, you like that?," he scoffs, "of course you do." Your eyes are screwed shut but you know he has a cocky grin on his face.

He stops his actions completley and before you can protest, he pulls down your panties and shoves his two fingers inside you, curling them also. You let out a loud moan, aware that anyone passing by would've heard it.

He must've seen the slight panic on your face because he says: "Don't be shy baby, let them hear how much of a slut you are for me." You moan in response.

You hear his belt being undone as well as his fly, you look down seeing his bulging dick through his pants. You move your hand, pull him out and begin to slowly pump your hand up and down. He moans loudly as you start to kiss his neck. He moves his fingers faster, bringing you to the brink of an orgasm. Your pace quickens as you look up at him he places his mouth on yours, sharing breaths.

"Shit, i'm close." You squeak out. Hearing this he stops his movements. You open your mouth to curse at him when he silences you by thrusting into you, you wrap your legs around his hips and claim his mouth.

The pair of you fight for dominance in a clash of teeth and tongues. He ultimately wins, thrusting up into you at a pace that has you moving up and down the wall. You break away to catch your breath, he bites your bottom lip and pull on it lightly. You let out a whimper and claw at his back.

"You like that? You dirty little slut, this is what you get for avoiding me.." He speaks deeply. You can feel yourself getting close.

"Phil.." You warn, tears forming in your eyes.

"Scream my name baby, let everybody know who's fucking you this good." His hand moves down to rub harsh circles on your clit.

"Oh shit.."

"That's it let it all out, cum for me baby.." He groans, he leans down, kissing and sucking your neck. You moan in unison, he finds your sweet spot and bites down.

"Fuck!" You scream out the pleasure exploding over you, your legs begin to shake.

"Oh shit, oh shit!" Phil whimpers, shooting his load inside of you. Once you calm down and your legs stop shaking, he places you on the ground. You look at yourself in the mirror and fix your appearance as an attempt to look presentable. After he pulls his pants up, he grabs your panties and puts them on for you. Raising to your level he says:

"Now your gonna go back to that party with my cum still inside you," he kisses you, "meet me outside at 9. We're not done yet." He gives you one last kiss, a slap on the ass and opens the door for you.

You walk out the door with a huge grin on your face and Phil's cum trickling down down your legs.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm DELIGHTED by so much goodness, also I lust after a boy's robot's pants

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Feb 2024 Wk 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 11 of 12 - I support the fact that the producers seem to have decided that even in uniform Yai never needs to wear sleeves. Hear hear.

No sleeves for Yai ever again!

On the other hand, why doesn’t anyone ever wear gloves? Going around touching evidence all willy nilly like that.

No to sleeves. Yes to gloves.

People. Sheesh. Get with the program.

Anygay, this is such a fun show. I could watch 50 episodes of this abject nonsense. I’m sad it’s gonna be ending. And I don’t say that often about Thai BL. 

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 12 of 14 - Oh has Jeff been kidnapped again? Here, let's throw fruit at Babe and think about it for a bit. Tra la la. Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 9 of 12 - They are such very good boyfriends. Also, this is a ton of kissing for OffGun. I’m at a loss as to how they are going to turn this into a decent 12 ep show. Unfortunately, I’ve foresee it going off the rails - pacing seems off. 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - We have our little No Comebacks twist. The sides are growing on me, but now the mains are boring me. The sudden gun-toting new characters are just weird. It’s like they took the script and just threw it down a staircase, gathered it back up again, then filmed that. 

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Fueang is an actor in the midst of crisis and scandal. Normally I don’t like Thai BL when it’s tackles celebrity and this is... yep, the same. Our actor is pitted against an older worried nerdy app developer, Krom. And I feel that dynamic - hyung romance, jock/nerd? Very nice. But it’s also very Star Hunter. Never met a trope they didn’t wanna do a million times over - in the very first episode. Also I think I’m not a fan of the actor playing the lead. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 24fin - The blond who comes to get his hair shaved looks just like Fluke T (SOTUS et al). And even more like him after the shaving (My Bromance et al). Is that him? MDL doesn't say.

Anygay... something something: Orphan. Cancer. Kisses. Dream. Death. 'Bout what I expected. 2/10 even with a decent kiss I don’t do dream sequences and I don’t like death in my BL 

All in all, I’m relieved that that’s over. The series is a slog. And in general I don’t recommend it. I plan to promptly forget its entire existence. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Love For Love's Sake (Korea Weds iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - There is so much to adore about this show. The two younger guys who are suddenly in competition for the one older one. You know hyung romances are my favs. A hyung love triangle? COME ON. Also, I got to say this one’s giving me second lead syndrome. I do love me a brat. Add in all this on honorific play and linguistic flirting (as their should be in age gap). This is just THE BEST show. 

Look I gotta say this: the "Who did this to you?" trope (AKA who hurt you?) is the single most popular romance trope right now, remarkable to see it turn up in a BL. And pleasing. Trust Korea to be ON TREND. It's their national agenda. *respect*

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) eps 1-2 of 6 - From Fuji TV (who brought us the Pornographer series) adapted from Mayo Tsurakame’s manga, production team includes Tadaaki Horai (My Love Mix-Up!) and Takeshi Miyamoto (scriptwriter for Old Fashion Cupcake). Hiro’s so stressed at work he barely has time to eat so he passes out on the sidewalk. An unfamiliar face saves him and insists that they once promised to marry each other.

Ready?

Oh I fucking love it. Sullen, out gay, younger seme with serious grumpy overprotective tendencies and beautiful possessive cat eyes? Well, it’s not dimples, but it’s still my catnip. Also they are moving very quickly. Hand jobs already? + dub con seasoning? Say it with me everyone:

Oh Japan, must you? 

Apparently, you must. And I must enjoy it. Carry on.

Please reread those producer creds and understand what we are in for. Okay? I would urge you to avoid this one if you get squeamish when JBL does what... JBL does.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) eps 1-2 of 10 - I really enjoy the character of an OCD intellectual automaton professor, contrasted to a warm and sunshine actual robot. Out the gate, this is oozing Taiwanese domesticity, we can only hope they juice it with their usual standard of heat too. 

All puns aside: It’s charming and I’m charmed. Does Taiwan finally have another winner on its hands?

I do adore Taiwan's aesthetics: The house designs, the suit designs, the human designs. I wouldn't say no to the robot’s pants either. Very cool. Can I order them in black?

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - The birthday confession was a bit much. But I love how mature the reactions were. It reminded me a little bit of I Cannot Reach You. Always a good thing. 

Girl: I like you. 

Sakae: sorry, not intersted 

Girl: what am I lacking? 

Sakae: a dick 

What you mean it didn’t go that way?

Happy Ending (Korea Tues YT) 2 of 3 - Oh it’s lovely, exactly as I expect from Strongberry.

I gotta say all of the above are pretty neck & neck for top spots for entirely different reasons. BL is seriously giving right now!

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 8fin - In the end this is mostly a piece about courage, and the rewards and disappointments that being courageous entails. Sadly, I personally didn’t have the courage to enjoy it. Featuring a chaos nugget bad boy student who falls madly in love with his teacher, this should’ve been My Thing. But Japan failed me. It happens sometimes. The leads had no chemistry, and the age gap rather than being a narrative driver and source of conflict, was just ignored. 7/10 

It's Done

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam so I assume it's on YouTube. I never even noticed. Anyone got a link?

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - Is TRUST Entertainment bringing us the first ever Burmese BL? I don't know if it's really the first, but @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch through.

The Whisperer (Thai Horror) - @all-you-had-to-do-was-neigh commented with the following: "MASSIVE content warning for extreme ableism, homophobia, and rape plots done for shock value. I don't recommend it, and if any of your followers decide to watch it proceed with caution."

So... yeah, I won't be watching it.

It's Airing But...

[NO INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 12 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) 12 eps - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Still Coming in Feb

2/17 A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV) - Khonprot, a third-year head hazer of the engineering faculty, has a secret crush on Pluem, a tsundere fourth-year head hazer. Over the years, he's seen Pluem cycle through many girlfriends. Recently, after a public breakup, however, Khonprot thinks maybe a boy has a chance.

2/24 Unknown (Taiwan Youku) 12 eps - Older brother tough guy criminal breadwinner looks after his sister and defacto adopted little brother. Little bother falls in love with him and is sent away after a stolen kiss. But when he comes back…

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

GMMTV is officially stalking me.

I do love OffGun's particular brand of domesticity. It's fun that they and TayNew are both getting to be so soft on our screens. It's very comforting, like a family favorite warm toddy. (Cooking Crush)

Korea, what's gotten into you? Are you feeling okay? Such bold weaponized gayness isn't like you at all. (Love for Love's Sake)

The Sign, forcing me to ask the eternal question.

I LOVES THEM YOUR HONOR. (Pit Babe)

(Last week)

[theholypeanut]

♪ To All The Girls You Loved Before ♪

Cw: gn!reader, Otoya slander, Otoya being a lovesick simp, Blood, mentioning of hooking up (not with reader), aged up characters (university), fluff?? kinda?? Mostly comedy I’d say, using words like whore or slut, but I promise it’s not serious I love Otoya, mentioning of STDs (guys why this cw gets weirder and weirder), Otoya is suggested to be bi here

1,3k words (I’m shocked too)

Birthday Fic for Otoya Eita!!

Otoya Eita was a whore. 

Everyone knew it - at least everyone at the university, in the football club, gym, probably within a 50 kilometers radius from the dorms as well, including supermarkets, flower shops, game arcades, and even the cinema workers (oh they probably knew the best, seeing him every week taking another girl on the same romantic comedy).

Well, it was not a secret, and it was neither something that made you hate or despise him. You had no opinion about him until you met him. 

And you met for the first time in the book shop, when you were looking into a new book by Yoko Ogawa.

Someone next to you dropped their book.

„Ouch, sorry” you heard a deep male voice. „I just accidentally dropped my modern feministic literature. My bad.” He picked up Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay from the floor. This scene was so ridiculous and obnoxious, you couldn’t hold the laughter. 

„Did you literally pick the closest book with the word feminist in it?” You asked amused. He cleared his throat. „No, I’m a big fan of…” he took a quick peak at the cover. „…Roxane Gay”

You smirked and raised your eyebrow. „Ooh really? How did you like Five Guys; My Story of the Polygamist Hexagon?” Eita didn’t even blink. „Actually this one is my favorite” he said with absolutely no shame in his voice. You rolled your eyes with a smile. „It’s not a real book, dumbass. I made it up.” 

Otoya was so used to interactions like this, that he didn’t feel offended at all. „Well sounds like a great read, maybe you should write something like this” he said, putting the book back on the shelf. „However if we start dating I don’t know if I want to have a… polygamist hexagon. Well, at least not with five guys”. He sent you a wink.

You looked at him with a mix of disbelief and amusement. „You are really something else, Otoya” you said, with a smile. „But I’m not gonna lie, that was probably the funniest and the dumbest conversation I had recently. Thanks” And you left him in between the shelves. 

In the beginning, Otoya was planning to just woo you into going on a date with him because you seemed cute. But that was the moment when he fell hard - this bright smile, laughter… He knew his pickup line was awful but you were not really mean to him. You didn’t look at him with disgust. Even more: He never saw the most gorgeous human being with such a beautiful laugh and right now he was dedicated to getting to know you. 

He started to come to the bookshop every single day - he was not obsessed enough to skip trainings (because he was not ready for Yukimiya to kick his ass) but even the elderly lady at the counter started to cheer up for him. 

„You know, young gentleman” she said one evening, seeing him looking in between the shelves. „They are a student at the university close by, I assume they are in their second year since they were buying some textbooks recently” she gave him a hint. The next day Otoya gave her a bouquet of the prettiest flowers he could afford. He was dedicated to finding you. If you knew who he was, then you probably study together. Or did he date your friend? Multiple friends? He hoped not your sibling or mom because that for sure would make things complicated when he will finally propose. 

Yes, this Otoya Eita, a town slut, was already preparing his wedding vows after one interaction. 

„I have no idea what’s their name” he whined to Karasu during the break. „They were the most beautiful person I ever saw…” 

„You say that about every second hook up, Eita” Karasu answered a little annoyed. It's been a week since he started making his failed love life everyone’s problem. Not like he wasn’t whining before, but usually it was after he cheated on a girl and she got angry, not before he even asked anyone out. „Also Jesus, why are you so fixated on the Feminist Book Stranger? You usually take rejection so lightly, I’m surprised to see you so…” 

„Pathetic?” Chigiri suggested, as he was drinking water nearby.

„Pitiful?” Yukimiya added. 

„…Lovesick” Karasu ended. Otoya signed dramatically. „You will be so jealous on my wedding, you will see”

„Well, I don’t think so” Chigiri said after taking another sip of water. „If they know your name, I assume they probably also know your dating history”

He knew. Otoya was well aware of his reputation, but till now he never really cared. Because he never expected to actually fall in love with someone, and even more he never was anxious that his soulmate might find him disgusting and pathetic. 

„At least check yourself for STDs before trying to get into your future spouse’s pants” Reo added after listening to the whole conversation. „I don’t think chlamydia is the best way gift you can give them on the first date.”

Otoya took a mental note that even if he felt a little offended, this was not the worst advice. 

And fate brought you together again, no later than the next day. 

You had an important essay due today and spent every possible moment studying and writing it. You kind of regret you had no time to read for fun anymore, only to drown under the amount of literature you had to read for your university lectures and tests, but there was no other way. There was one particular book you needed to borrow to finally end this monstrosity you’ve been creating, and then you are free… at least until the next essay. You took the turn to the university library. 

„You know, I think I achieved a new low” you heard a feminine voice. „I was looking for a fast hook up and even Otoya ghosted me. This one hurts. I think it's time for therapy or some shit, because if even him…” 

You smirked. Who knows if there are therapists in this city, who get another crying college girl or guy in their chair and can thank Otoya Eita for bringing in more than 20% of their revenue? 

You didn’t want to get caught eavesdropping, so you fast went to the door out of the building, the library was just minutes away. You pushed the door outside with a lot of force… and heard a bang. 

„FUUUUCK” you heard someone swearing right in front of you. It was almost as loud as the laughter that was accompanying it. „Right into your nose dude!” You heard the amused voice. You panicked. „Oh my god, I’m so so sorry” You slide through the door to the poor victim who was not other than… Otoya Eita. He froze for a second, considering if he just died and gone to heaven, that he heard your voice again. He looked up at your face, but his vision was still blurry. 

You took out the tissue from your bag. His nose was bleeding, so you gently pressed the tissue to his face. „Shit, do you have a concussion?” You asked panicked. Karasu stood next to you. „Just ask him something” he suggested, still amused by the situation. You thought for a second. „What's the capital of Malta?” The dark-haired guy looked at you both surprised and amused. „Okay but maybe ask him something he knows”

„I'm fine guys” they heard the weak voice. He looked at Karasu angrily. „Don't you dare flirt with the love of my life!” 

You looked at him confused, then looked at Karasu. „Yeah I think he has a concussion, maybe we should take him to the hospital.” 

Otoya’s nose stopped bleeding and his head was no longer spinning. Somehow you looked even more beautiful than the first time he saw you.

„How about you take me out for dinner, as an apology?” He sent Karasu „the” look. Tabito rolled his eyes in answer. „I’ll leave you two lovebirds here to flirt” he said and started walking away. You were too stunned to speak. You turned back to white haired guy still too confused with what is happening to digest his offer.

„Wait, are you serious right now?”

He smirked.

„So, how about tonight?”

There is gonna be part 2, this is a promise and a threat at the same time, because I had so much fun writing this crack fic

[faghubby]

FLM

My name is Paul, I married Jen. Six months ago. After brief engagement and even briefer dating. We met by accident almost like one of those romantic comedy plots. I accidentally stole her shopping bag. We had both set our bags down and when I picked mine up I took hers accidentally. She chased after me yelling. She even accused me of stealing it. But after a brief explanation she saw it as an accident. I asked her to launch to apologize for the misunderstanding.

At lunch we hit it off, we laughed and realized we had alot in common. It was a whirlwind relationship. We loved spending time together. I couldn't imagine anyone else making me so happy. Within three months I proposed. And we where married six months later. But the last two months something has changed.

"Jen what's wrong? I know something had been bothering you" I asked pulling her tight.

"Paul, you are the sweetest man ever, and I don't want to hurt you but. I need something" she told me.

"What? Anything" I told her kissing her.

"I need to get fucked" she said pushing away.

"Well okay" I laughed going to pull her to the bedroom.

"Paul, wait. I need you to understand" Jen said. "I need you to take me, even force me" she explained. I was surprised but surely we could figure this out. I picked her up and carried her to bed. Where I undressed her and kissed her. We made love. As we laid there Jen spoke.

"Paul, that was nice, but not very forceful" she rolled on top of me.

"Ite like making love to my best friend" she told me.

"I don't understand" I asked.

"Role play?" She smiled as if she had an idea.

"Okay" I smiled this could be fun.

"You just got out of prison, and I am a whore you paid $50" she laughed.

"That's dark" I told her.

"Okay you are a gladiator and I am a slave girl" she told me

I kissed her "Such a pretty slave girl" I cooed

"PAUL, FUCK ME. DAMN IT RIP OFF MY CLOTHES AND USE ME!" Jen screamed. She got out of bed.

"Jen I don't think I could ever" I confessed.

"I know" she said frustrated she got dressed. She was crying when she left. I was even more confused. I texted her a dozen times with no response. I woke up when she came home 3 hours later.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Christ you're not even mad!" She spat.

"I was worried" I told her pulling her close. She burst into tears.

"I cheated on you" she told me. I just held her.

"You are the nicest guy in the world and I've you, but I needed" she stopped.

"Aren't you mad? want to know who?" Jen yelled. She hit my chest.

"I forgive you" I told her.

"What if I did it again? What if I continued and had an affair?" Jen continued obviously mad. At me or herself I had no clue.

"What can I do?" I pleaded. Jen stormed out slamming the door. She slept in the guest room. I got up in the morning and made her breakfast in bed.

"Paul you are too sweet" she told me. She patted the bed next to her.

"What if I continued to have an affair?" She asked calmly.

"I don't understand" I told her.

"You are sweet, and caring. I love you. You ate my best friend. But I need more in the sex department" Jen told me. "I don't want to lose you. I just need a man to just fuck me. Every so often" Jen told me.

"What? You want me to what let you?" I said tears forming in my eyes.

I got up and left her alone. I was confused. She couldn't be serious I thought. Was this some kind of crisis we got married to quick. She was thinking she made a mistake. I couldn't lose her. I spent the day working on all the little projects she had been asking me to do around the house.

Jen spent almost the whole day in bed. I even bought her lunch in the guest room.

"Paul, those shorts" Jen said with a frown. I changed and threw them away.

Jen came emerged out of the guest room it was after 4pm.

"Paul, come sit" she told me. I stopped what I was doing and sat down.

"Do you like when I take control?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" I responded

"Do you like it when I just decide things, you always just agree and do as I suggest" she told me. I didn't see it bit I guess maybe she was right.

"It just seems to make sense" I told her.

"Your shorts, you liked them?" She asked.

"Yeah but if you didn't it's okay" I told her.

"What if I started to decide more around here?" Jen suggested. My look must of been enough.

"What if I just took over? Helped you by making decisions for you?" Jen asked.

"Like what? I mean if that's what makes you happy" I told her.

"What if I continued to have a lover and you excpted it. We could still make love but I could fuck him when I needed to cum. Not that you don't make me cum. It's just different with you it's... like a lesbian thing" she smiled.

"What?" I said surprised

"You have only ever made me cum with your tounge. Like a woman would" she giggled alittle.

"Jen, I could" I was almost in tears.

"We tried remember you couldnt" she told me her hand cupping my face comforting me. "I could help you be okay with this. I could take away all the stress and make all the decisions for you" Jen told me pulling me close. I was now crying uncontrollably onnher shoulder.

Afrer I was done I felt exhausted and fell asleep in her arms. When I woke Jen had made dinner. As we ate Jen tried to explain how things would work.

"You would be able to express your opinion but I would make the final decisions, on purchases, vacations, even where we go to eat" she told me. "Oh and sex, of course I would be happy to remove all of your stress on pleasing me, or figuring out what I wanted or when" she told me.

"Think of your shorts today, you liked them. But once I expressed my disappointment you not only changes you threw them away" Jen pointed out.

"Jen I would do anything to make you happy" I told her. She grabbed my hand and led me to the bedroom. She pressed against me.

"I want you to undress me, kiss and caress me. Then please me like you do with your tounge" she cooed in my ear. I did exactly as she said. Once done "Come lay next to me" I again did as she said. She stroked my erection.

"Do you think that it's maybe your size that makes you insecure and willing to follow orders" she giggled. She had never mentioned my size before but I knee I wasn't big. Even below average according to the internet. At only a bit over 4 inches.

"Jen how big was, well him?" I asked meekly. She held her hand several inches above my throbbbing dick.

"And much thicker" she added. She continued to tease me.

"Jen please" I begged.

"But it would be my decision" Jen whispered in my ear. She then dropped suddenly took me completely in her mouth. I pumped my load inner mouth. She had not used her mouth since before we where engaged. She swallowed but then kissed me. I could taste my own sperm on her lips.

I had not agreed to anything, but Jen took control. It was slow at first but soon even picking out my clothes was no longer my choice.i knew when she met her lover. But not because she said. Because she was late and came home disheveled. Jen was always in a great mood after, but also would push my obvious submissiveness towards her.

Our sex life was never better, but we also had not made love. It had been almost two months.

"Jen, I. Well I know you get what you need from him" I stumbled over the words.

"Paul, do you want some attention?" She teased. I just blushed.

"You can't even ask. You are like a little boy" she teased kissing my forehead. She stripped me. I stood before her naked. She was fully clothed. I was so turned on. She smiled and led me to the bathroom. She filled the tub and added sweet flowery salts to it. She bathed me. Then shaved my face. She didn't say a word just worked her razor down. Soon running the razor over my chest.

"I want my little boy to be smooth all over. Little boys don't have hair everywhere, do they?" Jen teased. I found myself standing in the tub as she shaved my balls.

"It looks even smaller somehow" Jen laughed as she moved my penis to the side and finished.

"Jen I want to make love to you" I said embarrassed even as I said it.

"Little boys don't, well I guess I could make you a girl" she smiled. I had a moment of panic, but then she shaved my legs as well. When she was satisfied I had no hair anywhere on my body except the top of my head. She rubbed rose smelling lotion everywhere. She led me to the bedroom and as I finally crawled on top of her. I came just feeling her warm wet pussy against my penis.

"OH sorry" I told her.

"Lick me" she told me. I couldn't could I had just cum all over her. But I didn't want to disappoint her so I did. At first I hesitated. But then just gave in and my face was covered in my own cum as I licked and sucked her clit.

"Clean up your mess, don't miss any, do a good job you can clean up Mike's as well." She told me. She had never mentioned a name. Mike was her ex. Was she fucking her ex boyfriend?when I finished I laid next to her on the bed.

"I love this, I never thought of you as a sissy though" she told me her hands rubbing my smooth skin. I got hard again.

"You like to suck my lovers cum from my used cunt, wouldn't you?" Jen asked. I didn't answer I just moaned as she rubbed me.

"Sissies where panties while their wives get fucked by real men" she told me.

"Jen I don't want to" I wimpered.

"Okay, but I want you to stay naked" Jen told me. Jen didn't let me cum.

"Little boys also get punished for touching themselves" Jen told me. She was serious about being naked. Not only the rest of the day. But whenever we where home. I complained once and found myself wearing little girl panties. With Disney princess designs on them. I also found myself doing all the household chores.

It had been 6 months. When Jen came home after meeting Mike. She was earlier then expected and caught me watching porn and masterbating. Jen was pissed she sat on my face and fed me her lovers seed. It was not the first time. But as she sat on my face she pulled me uo towards her I thought she was going to jive me a handjob but instead she held my leg in an awkward position as she rubbed lube on my asshole. I panicked and tried to move only to be smacked hard in the balls. Then she pushed two fingers in my ass. Sh slid down sitting on my stomach as she continued to play with my ass. Soon working in another finger and even a forth. I wimpered and cried as she violated my ass for the first time.

"my little boy Is gay and likes to play with cock" she told me. Jen bought me toys so I could masterbate after that. Insisting I fuck myself with a dildo or vibrator since I loved cock so much"

Since I was obviously secretly gay, she increased the amount of time she spent with Mike.

The panties became permanent, but also my wardrobe became more femme or gender neutral. She removed anything she found masculine. Mike also became no longer private. Soon he spent many nights with her in the master bedroom as I slept in the guest room and listened.

Jsn and I where still the best friends, and loved each other. But seemed to be even closer. As she would openly talk about her sex life. Clothes and style.

One night she took me out to a gay bar, she set it up but before the night was over I was in the back alley on ,y knees sucking a man's cock. While Jen waited in the car.

"Did you like it?" Jen asked. I just nodded. Jen smiled.

"My little girl is all grown up" she rubbed my erection thru my skinny jeans. As a reward I rode a 8 inch dildo as I watched a video of Jen and Mike. She sucked his cock then allowed him to fuck her ass. Jen helped me cum in her hand. As she shoved another dildo down my throat. Then fed me my own cum.

"Never again Paul" she told me. And handed me info on hormones.

[kadextra]

q!Forever & q!Bad, comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin

(little meta rp analysis & appreciation)

Comedy and tragedy- complimentary concepts when it comes to the dynamic that is these two characters.

Their lore together is truly like a soap opera to me in the way it operates, entertaining in how goofy it is- I laughed so much during interrodate. They had a whole elaborate musical prank war over a stolen gun (which neither of them even had, they’re just too dedicated to the bit.) The first thing they say to each other after q!Forever returns from the nether is “You look terrible!” 💀 and my guy gifted a bloody chainsaw as the flower of the day to q!Bad in purgatory 1 which was happily accepted.

Even when the characters show attraction for each other, it’s usually through some ridiculous romcom thing. q!Forever is in love with q!Bad dressed as pink barbie and thinks photos of her are the best gift a person could ever receive?? 🤨 q!Bad daydreams about q!Forever as a lobster with blonde hair and a six-pack??? brother be projecting him onto larry the lobster from spongebob squarepants dude what is wrong with them 😭 sometimes I wonder how they’re able to do all these bits in improv and take it seriously, it’s impressive

The characters are not normal, their relationship is not normal, it cannot be viewed normally. the ccs know exactly what they’re doing in creating whatever *gestures* this is, and it’s amazing. over the top, cute, played perfectly for comedy

But the characters aren’t just that, you can’t have them without the inverse 🎭 like a punch to the gut after all the sillies, they really know how to do tragedy well.

I very much look forward to whenever they’re at the top of their angst game, bc they both LOVE to make their cubitos suffer. to an insane degree. My god these two can’t go 3 days with their characters experiencing some peace and joyful whimsy, they *must* rp their ocs actively dying, horribly diseased, going crazy

And they go hard with it. I’m very serious when I say multiple times during the lore I’ve had to get up and walk away to calm down because it was too intense. super special shoutout to the q!Forever first happy pills arc stream & October 1st q!Bad psychotic breakdown stream. I’ve never been so shocked as I was watching those live, the stamina to do highly emotional rp like that is actually nuts. some of the most angsty mfs on this server fr (the #1 spot goes to quackity though. hey maybe i’ll make a tierlist)

So when Bad & Forever bring the best of their angst ability into serious rp interactions together that Aren’t comedic…? we are in for a treat. that talk they had right when q!cellbit died to the code, the richas rescue mission, the election, voting arguments, post-ron kidnapping, colorblind test/therapy, flower of the day. many scenes that are seared into my mind, but none is more so than The Happy Pills Proposal. goosebumps whenever I think about it… the scene ever. the way it was framed, the lines they said, how it had tense, chilling buildup before a literal explosion. how are these people capable of doing the most silly things and then turning around to stab us in the heart 50 times

So you bet I’m crossing my fingers for a meeting between @v@ & q!Bad. Forever is absolutely killing the role so far. If q!Bad gets involved I can already taste the glorious angst…. since he has specific traumatic experience in also being possessed, & having killed his possessed friends in another life. he recalled the memory when talking about how to save q!Forever last night. fun! *shaking*

anyways that’s all :D love these characters, I had been wanting to do a little meta appreciation post for a while so I thought why not now ^^

[deleteddewewted]

DILF! Gustave "Doc" Kateb Headcanon Part 2

A/n: Another version of Dilf! Gustave but this time its him who has kids

MDNI

W: Dilf! Gustave, He's a girl dad, Possible age gap relationship (Can be read as same age or age gap), He's a Gentleman, GN! Reader (No genitalia described), Slightly Kinky, Creampie, Mentions of Breeding, Cock Cage, Snowballing

This man had a kid after a one night fling.

He only found out he had a daughter when the mother contacted him asking him if he wanted to be involved.

He didn't know what he was expecting parenthood to be but he was glad that he agreed to be part of his daughters life.

The mother of his child and hiim shared custody, very 50/50 until she passed away from an illness.

He's thankful for her and all of the positive memories she gave to other daughter and thankful for giving him his child.

He made sure to take care of all of her affairs such as debt, bills, and her funeral. It was a final thank you for everything.

He contemplated buying his own home in Paris so he and his child could be close to his family but his parents convinced him to just have his daughter stay with them while he's at work so that they could help with child care but also spend time with her.

Bought his child all the toys she wanted.

He spoiled her rotten and it got to the point his mother started to scold him because he was setting his daughter up to expect "high standards".

He doesn't think its bad but who knows, she's just a baby after all.

As she reaches toddlerhood, the changes to his personality are more noticeable.

He's more fatherly to his teammates, his colleagues notice he randomly has new stickers on his briefcase.

Once he joins Rainbow his colleagues are met with a full-fledged father who will constantly pressure them and have them take care of themselves.

He's perfected the art of multitasking. You can find him talking on the phone, cooking, and lecturing someone all at the same time.

When he asks for leave he makes sure to emphasize that no one is allowed to call him unless someone is dead and only if someone is dead. His time with his daughter is precious.

If he meets someone, aka you, he is making his child his first topic because he needs you to know what you're getting into.

NSFW Under Cut

If you two get serious he will be as romantic as any other man his age. Very.

He likes to seduce you. Comments about how good you look, how he likes your perfume, the way you carry yourself, everything really.

He likes it when people think you're his daughters other parent. Makes him want to have another child but with you.

He doesn't take you to bed even if you're both hot and heated. He likes to tempt you with the idea that the next date will lead to you both sleeping together.

Has a robe just for you and even leaves space in his room so you can move in with him.

Tells his parents that he's planning on proposing to you soon and would like time with you alone. They happily agree to take care of his daughter so he can have alone time with you.

He takes you on a date and then invites you back to his place.

You both don't make it back before your fucking in the back seat of his car.

Heated kisses, biting, and him pushing his cock in and out of you leads to a multiple round and multiple creampies.

He's crying and he cant help how good you make him feel.

He knows that the way he's gripping your hips will leave behind his handprints.

Has you get off of him and lay on the back seats just so he can climb on top and eat you out.

Likes to snowball as he likes the taste of himself and you on his lips.

Tells you he cant wait to make you a parent.

He only gets kinkier the longer you two are together. He eventually has you put him in a cock cage just cause he wants to pent up went he fucks you.

Leaves you shaking like a leaf once he's done giving you the best 8 inches of your life.

[tom-hunter-summah]

Miscommunication| Wally ClarkxGender Neutral!OC

pairing: established relationship!Wally ClarkxGender Neutral! OC

summary: X and Wally have very different definitions of dirty. aka an uber fluffy blurb about Wally and his lover. 

word count: 219

a/n: so this originally used milo’s name but it didn’t feel right so I changed it to wally’s last minute. I was inspired by this list of prompts from ThinkWritten. I hope yall enjoy!

X would always remember this moment as a lesson to not only avoid being covered in mud, but to communicate what they actually want. 

“When you said, let’s get dirty this is not what I thought you meant.”

Wally tilts his head to the side. “What did you think I meant?”

They blush. “Well, let’s just say I thought there would be less clothes.”

Wally furrows his brows. Then they shoot up when he realizes what his lover was implying. 

“Oh. Babe if you wanted to knock boots all you had to do was ask.”

X couldn’t help but laugh. “Knock boots? What are you 50?”

Wally shrugs. “Well that was the best thing I could think of. Fuck is too vulgar and Make love sounds more intense.”

X peers up at Wally. “More intense? How?”

Wally’s locks eyes with X.  “Like you “make love” when you guys get serious. That’s sex you have after you decide to move in together or after you propose. I don’t ever want you to feel rushed into any situation. Especially with me.” 

X’s face heats up again. “That is definitely the quickest way to get someone into bed.”

Wally chuckles when he closes the gap between him and X; his hands on their waist. 

“Who said we had to use a bed?”

[layingatyourfeet]

unforgettable 

hizashi yamada x reader

cw: fluff, established relationship, radio show host Mic, both Mic and reader are UA teachers, absolutely self-indulgent because i’m soft for this man

wc: 947 words

every friday night in your household is the same. Yamada is peppering your face with kisses and you are trying to push him away, shoving a mug with freshly brewed coffee and bento with his favourite sugary snacks in his hands. pressing the last quick kiss to his lips you kick him out of your apartment, screaming “you’re gonna be late, idiot! your listeners are waiting!” and slamming the door shut trying to contain your laughter.

30 minutes later you put the headphones on and tune in to listen to his radio show.

every friday night he tells you to not stay up all night to listen to him, you have the unlimited subscription to his voice after all, and you just put on the most serious face and nod in agreement. and yet you both know that you’re gonna be up, listening to him, doing errands around the house, grading homework during commercial breaks, taking a bath when the show is about to end and crawling under the covers by the time he comes back home.

this night is no different and you feel giddy when your hear Yamada’s voice, just as hyper as when he’s at school talking to his students.

“weeell heeello hello hello my dear listeners! this is Put Your Hands Up! radio and your loyal host Present Mic! how are we feeling this friday night? my little helpers told me that you wanted the theme of tonight to be LOVE? oh listeners, is that what the sakura season does to you? well, i would gladly oblige but only if you promise me to PUT! YOUR! HANDS! UP! to hug someone you love! and don’t forget to call to talk about love and send your requests! aaand OFF WE GO!”

god he’s goofy. goofy in the best, warmest way you could imagine and you smile at the thought that both his loud, goofy, eccentric and tender, soft, loving sides are all yours.

almost every song is a request from his listeners: a guy telling that he’s gonna propose to his girlfriend in 2 weeks, an elderly woman asking to put on the song she had her first dance to with her husband 50 years ago, a bunch of teenagers asking for a loud love song they can dance to, a song to daydream about their crush to, a song to show that they feel like they love the whole world tonight, a song that feels like being in love… it’s a non-stop stream of love stories of any sorts, and if someone isn’t asking for anything specific he picks the best ones for the listeners mood.

you listen to every question, answering them as if you were his co-host, and you’re almost too caught up in your talk to the bathroom mirror when you hear the next question.

the voice on the other side of the line is so unsure it makes you feel for the person calling.

“hello, m-mister Present Mic. i n-need your advice. i gave my classmate chocolates for the valentine’s day, and and and white day is coming soon and i’m worried he won’t understand or he won’t return my feeling or, or, or i don’t know and i just need your advice” this voice is oddly familiar. distorted by the phone and radio waves, you still hear someone you already know. well, at least if you were hosting the show together Yamada would’ve reacted way faster than you, just like he did right now. “come on, listener, i know that having a crush could be terrifying, but i also know that you’re extremely brave because you’ve already done your part and confessed your feelings! you know, even if he won’t return them, i want you to keep being brave and keep showing this world your love. but i will cross my fingers for the next four days and hope he’ll say yes! is there a song you want to request for tonight? and OI! if he’s your classmate, aren’t you up too late?” he finishes with a quick laugh. his voice was surprisingly soft for this whole speech and you can’t help but wonder, did he see himself in that listener? was he reminiscing about his school days? “i will go to bed right after the song! i promise!” the unsure stutter is gone, and she sounds absolutely relieved. “i… can i request heroes by david bowie?” “coming right up, listener! enjoy and don’t forget what i told ya! keep being a hero with a big loving heart!”

and it all clicks. you know this girl. she’s your student and you can’t help but wonder if Yamada recognised her voice. and you know that you’re gonna root for her, even tho you know love could be quite cruel to both heroes and quirkless people alike. but you also know that without love none of you would’ve become the people you are now.

“and i would love to end this beautiful night with a song of my choice”, Yamada’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. “it’s unforgettable by nat king cole, i hope you enjoy and don’t forget that love is what keeps us moving forward. see ya next week, listeners! Mic signing off!”

by the time Yamada comes back home, you’re about to go to bed. he’s puts two paper cups of coffee and some fresh pastry on the table, smiling apologetically. “i know the coffee is pretty shitty, but that’s the only thing i found this early” “it’s my favourite one” you smile, wrapping your arms around his waist, placing a soft kiss on his jawline.

and yes, you do think that he’s unforgettable too.

[kerubimcrepin]

Episodes 27-29 - Ecaflip City (part 1)

I am forever fascinated by the portrayals of ecaflip spirituality we get in this show. Like, home shrines, milk altar offerings...

Kerubim's body language and inflections are very interesting here: he's a bit unsure of himself, but so enthusiastic about telling Joris.

You can just tell that this story means a lot to him.

My new headcanon is that he stopped living in Bonta with her (like he probably had in episodes 50 and 26) because the house is hers, and that made him feel inadequate.

I joked about Kerubim cheating on her while searching for Ecaflip city to propose to her, during past episodes where he is depicted as searching for the city, but it could be that finding it has always been his goal, and wanting to marry her is a whole new quest that ties into this?

But also — she was already his fiancée in the last episode, and it didn't exactly stop him from making questionable decisions.

This moment allows some new insight into Kerubim's thoughts on himself: while he may act cool, he really does feel undeserving of love. Probably a mix of Lou's being very mean (but I really doubt that she would be mean enough to say this) and his shitty self-esteem.

He really does have just... 30-50 different complexes, ranging from "my nasty personality makes everyone leave anyway" to "I'm poor and don't have a home" to "I'm not manly enough".

I want to like... Put him in a blender and mix in some anxiety medication, maybe. Perhaps that would help.

This question will be asked later by the show itself, but, is he really doing this for Lou, or is he doing this for himself?

I don't mean this in a "he's selfish" way, I mean this in a "he doesn't think he's good enough as he is... that's very sad" way.

Instead of gambling, he should have been a shopkeep from the get-go.

He's like a redditor that got into stock trading: a tragedy in the making.

If Kerubim isn't lying, — and I had sworn to take everything in this show at face value unless suggested otherwise by the narration — this moment may show us that it is true, that his other attempts at finding Ecaflip city were before he decided to marry her, and really committed to it.

You see, in episode 50, which, as we established, happens before Ecaflip City, he says that they stopped lying to each other after that story — which wouldn't entirely fit with him still flirting with girls and betraying her trust, while searching for the city.

But if those searches happened before, and he decided to continue them due to wanting to marry Lou? That would mean that he's changed for the better. At least a little bit.

She likes his dirty jokes. I don't have much to say, other than that this moment makes me sad. They were so cute together...

The menu seems to say "URM", but it's very stylized, so I am not sure.

Besides Kerubim being so addicted to gambling that it's ruining his personality and speech patterns, and also him probably being blasted with Ecaflip's luck buffs to the point of having prophetic fucking visions, — I think also points to Kerubim being lethally addicted to making people he likes happy, to the point of not seeing when it makes them uncomfortable.

He'll agree to do things with his loved ones — only to change plans later, when he realizes he's actually busy.

He'll go on a random, useless quest, to do something insane for love, and it'll just make things worse.

He'll be reassuring people that everything is going to be okay, when the thing they actually need is an acknowledgement of how bad things are. Et cetera, et cetera.

He has serious issues with understanding other people's emotions, and gets blind-sided when people he loves get mad at him for what he thought was the best course of action. (Totally not me foreshadowing what happens between him and Joris in the movie. Haha.)

I feel bad for him.

[gestures vaguely at all the times we've seen him shitfaced drunk in the series, and the horrid decisions this has led him to] [gestures vaguely to him constantly gambling and losing stuff, like, y'know, in the previous episode]

uhhh. All I can offer as commentary to this moment is this funnypost I made a while back on my main blog.

Keke you are so fucked, but you've been fucked for like, decades before this, so you are now mega-fucked. It's just over.

I'm,. so normal and sane and not sad about this.

Again, for all her faults, she really loved him, the way he is (even if sometimes he annoyed her, even if sometimes she used his weak spots to make him do things). I'm so fucking sad it didn't work out.

I just keep mentioning the fact that they both suck because I want to be fair to the two of them. What happened in Ecaflip city, despite her flaws, was Kerubim's personal failing.

...God. They're so special to me.

Guys, um... I don't think God Ecaflip likes to see Kerubim being happy and on good terms with people who aren't him.

Man. That evil fucking cat...

This here, folks, is why my deepest conspiracy theory is that Ecaflip is the reason Kerubim and Atcham lost their family.

He's evil enough to ruin a marriage in this episode, and Wheel of Destiny #8 does imply that Ecaflip was manipulating Kerubim to dislike Atcham (with his, y'know, threats of being able to make him "just as disliked and ugly" as Atcham. Normal father/god behaviour. Totally not the reason Kerubim is so scared of people disliking him. Haha.)

So what stops him from y'know, maybe, perhaps, killing their family a little bit?

Krosmoz is already inspired by Greek mythology. Evil god behaviour is just par for the course, y'know?

One may say: "Well, Ecaflip does these things to Kerubim to test him and his moral compass."

And I answer: I think it's very cruel to test the moral compass of a person, after knowingly breaking said person's moral compass with decades of mind games.

[sage--mode]

Boys of Naruto with their s/o (my headcanons)

Included: Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Sai, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Shino, Neji, Lee, Gaara, Kankuro

*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥

Naruto: a bit naive and insecure in his relationship, at least at first. He's pretty dirt poor, and despite being a hero and savior of the world he doesn't have the highest self-esteem, so it takes a little bit of time to get him to really relax around you because you just make him.. nervous. Once he does, the gloves are off. Super playful and sweet, a huge tease, and wants to do everything and anything with you. Has a super romantic/sweet side that you mostly see when you're alone. Loves pda but also gets shy about it. you can be in a room with 50 empty chairs, and if you ask him to sit on his lap, he'll agree every time. ♥️ nicknames: Likes to call you beautiful ("hey beautiful!") and will call you a nickname based off your name (ex: if your name was anita, he might call you nini) ♥️ the ring: if he is picking your ring, he'd probably get something very simple at first- again, like 14kt gold band with some simple design engraved into it to give it more of a unique look- he's pretty poor and super nervous/terrified of proposing with it.. but that's the best he can do. He'd upgrade you as soon as he became hokage and began earning more, sneakily having a center stone added to it to surprise you with.

Sasuke: very much secure in his relationship even from the beginning- mostly because he'd never start dating someone he didn't feel 100% with. He's very frank and straightforward, and would want someone like that- honest and simple. secretly likes to be praised by you, and it will basically make him borderline overconfident for the rest of the day, even if you said something simple like complimenting his hair. He's so used to girls chasing him, so its different when you do it- he knows you're being honest and not just sucking up. Not a pda guy but very protective and caring of you. Notices very small things about you, like if you start shaping your fingernails a different way. ♥️ nicknames: he's not usually a pet name kind of guy, but sometimes when you're alone and he's feeling especially sweet, he may call you "my dear", and when you're being bossy he'll respond with "yes madam / no madam) to tease you. ♥️ the ring: we know this. he'd make it for you himself. in canon, the ring is apparently made of a ruby. I like to imagine it's infused with his chakra and his blood (the ruby was a more magenta color before he did so)

Itachi: very protective. very caring. nothing comes before you do. lowkey wants to murder anyone who dares trying to talk badly about you in front of him ("you insulted my wife. you don't deserve the air in your lungs.") Very serious and unabashed with people, but suddenly becomes this gentle, sweet man when its you in front of him. Not a big pda guy but always holds your hand in public or will walk with you with a hand on your back or an arm around you. If you're sitting somewhere, a lock of your hair may be casually held in his fingers as he is lost in thought. Can be a bit of a tease, again mostly to you. ♥️ nicknames: most commonly calls you sweetheart and my love. also will call you princess occasionally, but its usually teasing. ♥️ the ring: goes for something he thinks will be practical for you while also being something you'll like. I imagine he'd pick a marquise or oval cut stone.

Sai: he. doesn't. know. whats. happening. first of all, he can't believe that you- you!- want to date him. it's inconceivable. and he has no idea what to do with you at first. when he approaches you for a first date and you agree, he pauses in surprise that you actually said yes, then thinks for a moment. "Well.. how about training area 3-A? there's a really cool tree there to see." he doesn't get what a date is typically supposed to entail at all- he never got that far in his research. So you have to take the lead on many things, but its okay- you love experiencing everything with him. ♥️ nicknames: notoriously bad with them. he will call you everything from pumpkin seed to cottontail trying to figure out what you'll love the most. ♥️ the ring: he would do the most research on what girls usually like in an engagement ring, and ends up with the very simple, very popular white-gold band with a solitaire, one carat white diamond.

Shikamaru: an insane amount of rizz for someone who would spend 50% of his day staring at clouds if he could. And thats definitely the first official date you go on, though its masterfully disguised and dressed up with a sunset picnic. In public, he's very casual with you and won't try to hold your hand unless you allow it. Lowkey has a bit of a fear of rejection from you, and it takes a bit of time for him to figure out that you're not going to turn him down like that. You play a lot of games together at home and he secretly lets you win sometimes. ♥️ nicknames: so, shikamaru is smart. like reallyyyy smart. we know this. I like to imagine in his spare time, he's slowly learned different languages, and he'll call you nicknames in different languages to watch you get flustered. He thinks its hilarious. Other then that, he'll sometimes call you baby, literally purring the word at you. Its part of his method of seduction and it works every time. ♥️ the ring: carved from a piece of petrified wood in the Nara clan forest. It took him 4 days to to choose it. Makes 2 simple bands from it, one being yours and the other, his.

Chouji: very much in love with you from the beginning, and he's the one who says it first. His method of greeting you is scooping you up in his arms and swinging you around like you weight 6 raspberries. Lovessss cooking for you, and always makes it a multi course meal with multiple dessert choices. Extremely proud that you're his girl and gets teary eyed when he hears you plan to take his last name when you marry ♥️ nicknames: calls you honey, all the time. he doesn't even call you by your name anymore. you're honey now. sometimes he'll make up names to make you laugh, like "my delectable daisy" ♥️ the ring: the ring he gives you is a vintage one thats been passed down in his family for multiple generations; it has the Akimichi clan's emblem engraved in it.

Kiba: the biggest menace!!! if you thought he could be a bit wild before, wait until he gets a girl. The confidence is over 9000. Any time he has money left over, its going to be spent on you, wether its a gift, or on a date, or something else related to you. Pretty lax on pda, he doesn't care who's looking, if he wants to hold your hand or kiss you or be a shameless flirt in public, he'll do just that. ♥️ nicknames: babe, princess, doll face, sugar, gorgeous- he uses them all. Be warned if he sees you out like running an errand or something, he's going to grin and shout "HEY, SEXY!!!" from across the street just to see you blush and trip over yourself. ♥️ ring: he overthinks it big time, going to every jewelry store in Konoha to learn about different stones, metals, settings, etc. It takes so long you end up asking him about it, in which he confesses that he's struggling to choose the perfect one for you and was even considering visiting other villages to tour their jewelry stores.

Shino: Mysterious and collected on the outside. Struck by cupid's arrow on the inside. Very much a gentleman- will hold your hand even to cross the street or navigate through a crowd. Surprisingly he's more into pda then it might first seem. Always greets you with a ~chaste~ kiss. He lovessss when you remove his glasses from his face before you kiss him. ♥️ nicknames: calls you sweetheart sometimes, but often refers to you as "my dear". Similar to Chouji, he doesn't really call you by your actual name much, usually its sweetheart. ♥️ the ring: is the smart one and sneakily asks your friends/family about what kind of ring you might like. He gets it pretty spot on.

Neji: approaches you a bit formally to ask you out. He tells you he would like to date you… by stating, "I would like to date you". Its hilarious and he says it without batting an eye, and you appreciate how straightforward and unembarrassed he is. Always greets you with a kiss on the hand. Always goes along with your plans even when its something he'd usually never be caught dead doing. ♥️ nicknames: typically he refers to you by your actual name, but in private sometimes he'll call you my love, or dearest. Often its whispered. ♥️ the ring: Neji's mother died when he was a baby and his father died when he was very small, and sadly whatever valuables they had were either "returned" to the main branch aside from household items. However, Hiashi wasn't a ~total~ pos and Neji was able to keep some of his mother's jewelry. Most of it is costume, but there are 3-4 pieces that have value, including the plain, simple platinum band that was once her wedding ring. He gets it cleaned and has a setting added to it so a stone can be mounted of your choice.

Rock Lee: two words- princess treatment. you're a princess and he'll be damned if anyone tries to convince him otherwise! always a gentleman, always rooting for you, always willing to drop what he's doing if you ever need him. He has unassuming looks, and it has happened once or twice that someone wouldn't leave you alone in front of him despite you rejecting them. That didn't end well. That guy didn't just learn a valuable lesson that day- all of Konoha did. You don't mess with Rock Lee's girl, and you don't harass girls in front of Rock Lee and get away with it. ♥️ nicknames: calls you princess, and not in a teasing ironic way. he means that 100%. Also sometimes uses angel or my lotus ♥️ the ring: he accidentally pulls a michael scott and saves 2 years worth of salary for the ring, when the saying is typically "2 months". so the ring is going to be quite a sparkler depending on what stone he picks.

Gaara: a little awkward, but more so for you than for him. He actually feels pretty comfortable with you from the get-go- he likes you and he is pretty transparent about it. For you, it is intimidating- not because its Gaara, but because he's the kazekage and dating the village's kage publicly puts eyes on you both. So the first few times you go out, it is done quietly and within small groups (his siblings and a few friends) to make it look less like 2 people on a date. A bit like Itachi in that he is pretty mature and serious with people, but a lot softer and sweet with you. When Gaara is in love, the protection of his sand starts to extend to you, too. ♥️ nicknames: for the most part, he calls you by your own name. However in some moments where he's particularly soft, he'll call you "my heart". it gives a new meaning to the marking on his forehead. ♥️ the ring: has a private jeweler bring a bunch of stones for you to pick from. If you don't like any of them, he'll simply send requests to the other kages to send their brightest stones for you to see.

Kankuro: he's confident in every part of his life except romance. When he walks over to ask you out, the question comes out in a stutter and his cheeks are red. Fortunately you get what he's saying and happy to agree. Always has an arm casually slung around your shoulders if you're walking around. Can be a little jealous but he tries very hard to not let you see it. Loves you dearly and often worries he won't be able to keep you happy. ♥️ nicknames: calls you doll all the time. Like Chouji, its basically your name now- he only really calls you by your actual name in serious situations, like if you got hurt. Otherwise, you're doll. "Doll, have you seen my war paint?" "what do you want for dinner, doll?" "Doll, I'm heading to a meeting," like this. ♥️ the ring: he's a creative and has experience with materials for his puppets, so he makes the ring himself.

*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥

[salternateunreality2]

MDZS/The Untamed/SephZack, Episodes 24-50 aka the end

Because I got too excited and barely paused long enough to scream at frens.

LOOK AT THE PRECIOUS BUNS

Spoilers ahead:

After Red Lady finds Zack and begs for his help rescuing Cloud:

I WAS SO RIGHT ABOUT WEN NING BEING CLOUD He was stabbed through the middle and is now in a weird coma after being rescued by Zack. Peak Cloud right there. Just watch, homeboy is going to have an identity crisis/memory issues. BB CLOUD IS ALIVE!!!

------------------------------

After the midnight rescue and pivotal point where Sephiroth stands aside, allowing his beloved to pass with the remnants of the Wen clan:

THE BABY HAS ARRIVED. He is a CHONKER and needs ALL THE SNAX. AND HE RECOGNIZED HIS OTHER DAD OUT OF EVERYONE!!!!!!! FEED HIM WHATEVER HE DESIRES.

Baby A-Yuan supremacy. I can't even think of a parallel for him in FF7 because I'm too busy wanting to pinch his chubby little radish cheeks.

Maybe he's Nanaki. An expert at getting grown-ups to share snacks with him, who grows up into a surprisingly competent teenager due to all the ~trauma~.

Anyway, market scene in a nutshell:

Child: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Sephiroth: ...😐

Child: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Citizens: are you his dad? Do you not know how to sooth your child?! Are you an idiot?! Do you need HELP?!?!?!?!?!

Sephiroth: *bluescreen* *error.png*

Child: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Zack: trolololololol buy him something

Sephiroth: uh, ok

Child: *magnetized to Sephy*

Sephiroth: *equally as horrified and confused as when child was crying* *he literally never imagined himself as a dad* *but has been forcefully adopted*

------------------------------

Cloud: *violently emerges from his coma*

Zack: EYYY! SPIKE!!! MY DUDE!!!! *hi fives, shoulder bumps*

Cloud: I cOuLd HaVe KiLlEd YoU?!

Zack: False, I brought Sephiroth!

Sephiroth: ...

Zack: *shows Sephiroth around his hovel like it's paradise on earth*

Sephiroth: *looking at Zack like he's paradise on earth*

-------------------------------------

Red Lady: *gives Zack enough poison to tranquilize a bear*

Zack: Don't you fuckin dare go off and self-sacrifice!

Red Lady: Bitch, that's rich coming from you! Also, are you made out of pure red bull and spite?! How are you still awake?!!?

---------------------------------------

Things I am still not ok about:

Cloud being made into a puppet to kill Jin Ling's dad.

The one hundred holes curse. Just. Ew.

The remnants of the Wen clan ALL turning themselves in.

Grandma Wen dying.

Jin Ling being orphaned.

Zack thinking he needed to die to stop himself.

Sephiroth crying.

---------------------------------------

Sephiroth: *gets drunk*

Zack: This is the best thing ever.

Sephiroth: *proposes to his boyfriend by giving him chickens*

Zack: Look at this adorable city boy, not even knowing how to hold a chicken. I love him so much.

Sephiroth: *goes hog wild and does...GRAFITTI!*

Zack: PFFT! Y'know what, I'll carve my name too <3

----------------------------------------

Zack with his juniors aka ducklings is like a border collie intensely guiding them in the right direction as they bumble along.

-------------------------------------

Lan Wangji's sword is named Bichen, because he has serious resting bichen face.

Also I heard that he has a long wang, so Long Wang-ji seems appropriate too!

The Lan clan should be the Lan, meaningful glances clan. There is so much staring deeply into each other's eyes. And the eyes of their crushes.

(I'm 49.9% sorry)

--------------------------------------

Best Hurt/Comfort boyfriend/husband angst moments:

Jin Ling getting stabby with Zack.

Zack making himself bait as if this was FF7 canon.

Everything that happened on the top of that cliff with the bloodbath and Zack's death.

Sephiroth giving Zack a piggyback.

When they visited Genesis and Zack's internal injuries caught up to him.

--------------------------------------

It was so heartbreaking to watch Zack gather himself to be the sacrifice yet again, huge "heh, the price of freedom sure is steep" vibes 😭😭😭

Then Sephiroth jumps in with a "No. No, you're not doing this alone this time." And Zack is so relieved and surprised and you really have to be looking, but his whole body just relaxes and lights up at the same time, like the weight of the world he puts on like a backpack is suddenly halved and 😭😭😭😭

-----------------------------------------

Wen Ning/Cloud's arc is so wholesome. After all the, y'know, mind control and death stuff.

So proud of him for separating his identity from Zack's in the end, but never letting go of the loyalty. He recognizes and adopts A-Yuan like Cloud does with Denzel.

He's strong with Zack and becomes strong alone.

---------------------------------------------

I do NOT feel as bad as the series wanted me to feel about baby-face incest filicidal murderer McGee. Sure, Angeal loved him, but Angeal was severely misled. If Angeal wasn't such a good guy, I'd feel completely delighted that McGee's boyfriend was the one who killed him. His good qualities were *checks notes* remembering one guy's name and not physically abusing his boyfriend or accepting his boyfriend's offer to die with him. Wow.

He can go kick rocks and stub his toe and get a major infection and die.

--------------------------------------------

Genesis being a responsible uncle, lol:

----------------------------------------------

Re: that scene with Bichen that's NOT in the live-action drama, but apparently is in the books...

THAT'S NOT WHAT IT MEANS TO "USE PROTECTION".

Also, I now realize that the comment about riding one's sword was a translation CHOICE, not an accident.

[mariacallous]

According to recent U.S. government estimates, approximately 315,000 Russian soldiers have either been killed or wounded in the ongoing war in Ukraine. In comparison, Kyiv has lost a smaller number of troops than that on the battlefield—as many as 200,000—but has probably suffered just as many overall losses when civilian casualties from Russia’s indiscriminate bombardments and shellings are taken into account. The pace of the bloodshed in 2023 appears, by the best unclassified estimates, to have been similar to that of 2022.

For some, these numbers would suggest that Ukraine, with only about 1/4 the population of Russia within its borders today, cannot achieve victory or even sustain this conflict much longer. As a BBC journalist put it flatly, “time is not on Ukraine’s side.” Reports of corruption within military recruiting commands have intensified concerns, prompting Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to replace many of his senior military recruiters this past year in response. By November 2023, after 20 months of fighting, the average age of a Ukrainian soldier had risen to around 43 years old—a stark shift from the average age of 30 to 35 years old just one month into the conflict in March 2022.

Ukraine is now considering lowering its minimum draft age from 27 to 25 and whether it should try to grow its nearly million-strong military by an additional 50%. Ideally, the proposed mobilization could break the current military stalemate in 2024 or 2025, while also allowing some of those who have been on the frontlines over the last two years, to get a break or finally conclude their service and return home to their families.

Our reading of the demographics and of military history suggests that Ukraine does indeed have a serious problem on its hands. Demographic trends aren’t in Ukraine’s favor and wavering Western support casts a huge cloud. Yet, despite these challenges, Ukraine is not facing an acute and immediate manpower crisis and is not at short-to-medium-term risk of losing the war due to a hollowed-out army.

It’s crucial to acknowledge that troops and society-as-a-whole, are exhibiting signs of fatigue. Yet tiredness must not be misconstrued as readiness to surrender, nor should lower morale be mistaken for irresoluteness. This is not the moment to make Ukraine’s projected long-term challenges a self-fulfilling prophecy of defeat.

Consider some analogies from past wars. By summer 1864, Union troops in the American Civil War were due to reach the end of their three-year enlistments en masse. General Sherman had yet to take Atlanta; Generals Meade and Grant were losing battles to General Lee on a regular basis. Relative to Ukraine’s current plight, Union forces represented twice as large a share of the nation’s population and were suffering fatalities at roughly five times the annual rate per capita. As historian Bruce Catton wrote of the nation’s military manpower system, “Once it brought in the country’s best men, and now it brought in the worst.” Yet the Union prevailed.

In World War I, a conflict of which the current Ukraine war evokes memories for many, loss rates for each of the major parties were several hundred thousand fatalities a year—roughly ten times greater than in the current catastrophe. Yet no major military started to break until three years into the struggle. No one is wishing a similar fate upon Ukrainians or even Russians today. Nevertheless, the capacity for human resolve in the face of immense suffering should not be underestimated, especially when the cause is just, and national survival is at stake.

Kyiv does not disclose official troop or casualty numbers, but Ukraine is believed to have raised nearly one million troops out of a population of about 37 million (excluding refugees who have left the country) by relying on volunteer fighters and a draft that includes healthy men between the ages of 27 and 60. Meanwhile, it has been losing about 100,000 troops per year as casualties. Sustaining the force at its current size—or even enlarging it—will likely not be possible absent a change in policy.

Approximately 215,000 Ukrainian men will turn 27 this upcoming year. However, many of the most qualified individuals have already volunteered, while many others have health issues or nationally required professional specialties that preclude service. And yes, some will try to game the system to avoid service, as we have seen in most of America’s wars, too (even the most righteous, like the Revolution and Civil War). Considering these factors, Ukraine will most likely struggle to find 50,000 recruits this upcoming year, based on past trends.

But the situation is a far cry from the prospect of imminent defeat. Kiev has options. Lower the draft age to 25, as officially proposed in a draft bill by the Ukrainian cabinet. This change could potentially render up to 395,000 men turning 25 and 26 this coming year eligible to be conscripted, in addition to the approximately 215,000 Ukrainian men turning 27. Lowering the draft age to 21 would make approximately 685,000 more men potentially eligible and lowering it to 18 another 490,000. Create more incentives for women to join. Address claims of mistreatment of soldiers. And, if Western aid will support it, pay troops better so as to increase the proclivity to serve (we do not consider it inappropriate to employ such tools within America’s own military, nor should the Ukrainians). With such steps, Ukraine could, if necessary, sustain the current fight through the decade.

None of this is to suggest Ukraine should fight this war indefinitely, of course, and at some point, Ukrainians may decide that an imperfect peace (if negotiable with Russia) is preferable to more carnage. But in a fight for Ukrainian national survival, we should be reticent to make that judgment for them just yet. And nothing about core demographic fundamentals suggests they should feel forced to reach it themselves anytime soon.

[bitterflames]

fic writer interview

(tagged by @sunriseverse, tysm for the tag!! 💙 posting on my sideblog because it feels like the right place for this sort of rambling.)

How many works do you have on AO3? 10 (plus the one i orphaned, which still has my username attached). one is fanart. i'm... a very irregular writer.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 32,694 words (i do mean a very irregular writer lol).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1) snow and repetitions of snow (elder scrolls) (169) 2) no takebacks (mysterious lotus casebook) (126) 3) a light that does not flicker (elder scrolls) (85) 4) what's in a name? (mysterious lotus casebook) (78) 5) to gravity and the unknown (elder scrolls) (50) the actual most-kudosed work of mine is the Accursed Orphan, red oni, blue oni (tensei shitara slime datta ken) with 2202 (oh god). it really, really wasn't my best work, i stopped following the canon when i got bored with the plot, and the constant stream of kudos emails started to get on my nerves, hence the orphaning.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? i try my best to! that said there are a lot of unanswered comments from periods where i just couldn't keep up with life. i appreciate each and every one though! i swear i'll get around to them someday 😭

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? i tend to write bittersweet more than outright angsty. maybe snow and repetitions of snow, featuring two shitty stubborn wizards who are on-again off-again exes/enemies with benefits. it ends on them realizing that their ideals and personalities are irreconcilable and yet they cherish each other regardless. sometimes it just be that way!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? no takebacks is very short but given that it undoes a major character death and ends with a sort-of marriage proposal: probably that one. sometimes you just gotta write fluff to soothe the soul.

Do you write crossovers? not really. occasional crossover cameos can be fun, but overall they don't interest me a ton? i much prefer fusion AUs, but i don't often write them; perhaps because my stuff tends to be shorter and more intensely character-focused than setting-focused.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? not openly. if anyone's hating on my fics in private that's their prerogative lmao.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? occasionally! there's one explicit fic on my account and numerous WIPs that may or may not ever see the light of day. "porn with feelings" is probably the best description for the stuff i tend to write. sometimes the characters are trying very hard to ignore those feelings but they're still there. (shout out to the one lin chen/mei changsu WIP in my folder which is Very Much That.)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge. i tend to write for small fandoms and rare pairs so i'm probably not high on the radar for that sort of thing?

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! snow and repetitions of snow was translated into mandarin, i'm very happy that someone liked my fic enough to do so :)

Have you ever co-written a fic before? not yet, though i've done illustrations for big bang fics in the past, and RP'd and created shared AU verses with friends. actual co-writing isn't something i've done, but the idea is intriguing! (that said, i'm extremely flakey and wouldn't wish myself as a co-writer upon anyone.)

What’s your all-time favorite ship? "all-time" is a pretty broad category, wow. in terms of sheer volume of fics i've bookmarked though mei changsu/xiao jingyan are absolutely destroying the competition, no contest. in terms of "currently rent-free in my brain" i am frantically paddling this XJY/MCS/LC rareship against the current.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? (gestures vaguely at my entire folder of WIPs. weeps loudly.) tbh talking too much about my WIPs or even giving them a serious title until they're most-of-the-way finished feels like giving them the kiss of death. i'm not superstitious but i'm like a little stitious, you know?

What are your writing strengths? given that my entire writing process feels kind of like banging my head against a wall while crying: hard to say! i'm told i'm good with conveying tension though. in terms of characterization, insufferable theatrical magnificent bastards.

What are your writing weaknesses? long plotty fic and me are not friends. my pacing can be a bit mood whiplash-y at times. i abuse italics and semicolons like they're going out of fashion.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? depends on the cultural context of the canon, the purpose for doing so, etc... like pretty much anything else, it can be used to good effect, or it can be really grating. i think things like honorifics and terms that don't have a good 1:1 english translation are pretty much fine.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? idk probably some pokemon OC thing when i was like ten years old? in terms of fic completed and posted online, elder scrolls.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? (shoving numerous WIPs back into my folder) does NiF count? i haven't finished anything for it yet... in terms of canons i haven't touched at all, maybe sha po lang. i read the entire thing in one long weekend while house-sitting for a friend and i'm still not sure if it was good or if it just hit all my kinks just right, but either way there's probably something to work with here.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? it's also a WIP (mostly written, just lacking a solid ending) and it's utter self-indulgent nonsense designed to appeal to no one but me but: i'm very fond of how to deflower your martial brother (wo jia dashixiong naozi you keng). hanahaki disease, fucky shixiong/shidi relations, horrible pun in the title: these are a few of my favourite things.

tagging! @shararan @strandedchesspiece @foxofninetales @sinni-ok-sessi @junemermaid @melodious-tear @thebansacredbanned and anyone else who's interested (no pressure ofc!)

[quiet-compassion]

OFMD Fluffvember Day 13: Bathing/Showering

(If my last entry was too serious for you, don't worry. This may be one of the most lighthearted things I've ever written.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51713587

“Edward, I think you’re being very unreasonable about this.”

Stede stands with his hands on his hips and what he’s man enough to admit is a pout on his face. Ed sighs from the other end of the captain’s cabin where he’s been packing supplies and personal effects into a large trunk.

“I really don’t think I am, mate,” he replies, eyebrows raised. “Look, space is limited, not just in the new place but on the dinghies bringing us there. We don’t have room for that kind of luxury—”

“Luxury?!” Stede repeats in disbelief. Fortunately for him, Lucius chooses that moment to walk down the hall past their open door. Stede calls out to him, eager to have an ally in this debate. 

“Lucius! Could you come here a moment?” The man in question reluctantly appears in the doorway, arms crossed in annoyance.

“What?” he asks, shortly.

Unperturbed by Lucius’ less-than-helpful tone, Stede barrels on. “Would you please tell Ed that bringing the bathtub with us is not a luxury but in fact an essential?”

Lucius raises an eyebrow. “Why do you get to take the tub?”

Stede scoffs indignantly. “Well, for one thing, it’s mine!”

Ed interjects while Lucius rolls his eyes. “Okay Stede, enlighten us both. How do you propose we move a large, heavy, metal tub off the ship, into a small wooden rowboat, and over the surf to shore?”

Stede begins to retort before fully allowing Ed’s question to penetrate the bluster of his outrage. He pauses. “Well, um…”

“Point to Ed,” Lucius says, tipping his head in Ed’s direction. “Guess we’ll just have to keep it on board.”

“Hang on a moment!” he huffs defiantly. “There’s got to be some way of transporting it effectively.”

Ed fixes him a look that is equal parts exasperation and adoration. “Babe, you’re an outside-the-box thinker. And your wacky ideas are one of the things I love best about you, you know that. But this might be a bridge too far.”

Stede throws up his hands, refusing to allow himself to be softened by Ed casually saying that he loves him, and in front of Lucius no less. “Alright! And what do you propose we do as far as bathing is concerned?”

“Well, we are bringing the washbasin with us, of course. And, you know, we’ll be living like 50 feet from the ocean.”

It’s an annoyingly salient point, but Stede refuses to concede. “We’re striving to run an inn. What kind of respectable, first-class establishment would ask its patrons to bathe in the sea?!”

Ed laughs. “Let’s focus on getting the roof patched and actual guest rooms built before we worry about washroom accommodations. We can get another tub down the line, once we have a place to put it.”

“But it won’t be as nice as this one!” Stede protests petulantly. “This one’s big enough for two!”

The look Ed gives him at that is one of complete surprise and mischievous delight. “Why, Captain Bonnet!”

“OKAY!” Lucius exclaims, from the doorway. Stede honestly forgot he was here. “That’s it, I’m out!”

He turns on his heel, closing the cabin door behind him. Stede turns back towards Ed to find him grinning at him, eyebrows waggling teasingly.

“Oh hush,” Stede grumbles, blushing. Ed lets out a bark of gleeful laughter.

“Listen, if that was your reason for wanting to bring the tub, you should have led with that.” He crosses the room towards Stede, shoulders shimmying provocatively.

Stede shrugs. “Well, it’s not the only reason.”

“It’s the best one.”

He can’t help but smile at that, looking up at Ed through his eyelashes. “I just figured, these first few weeks are going to be a lot of hard work, aren’t they? We’re bound to be all sore and achy from all the manual labor of fixing up a house. It’d be nice to be able to have a soak.”

Ed gives a sympathetic hum. “Real forward thinking of you.”

“And that house is going to be so drafty, what with the roof in disrepair and the windows broken. We ought to have a reliable way of warming ourselves up,” Stede says breathily, heart rate picking up speed as Ed leans further into his personal space.

“Very practical,” Ed agrees, voice low.

“Besides,” Stede goes on, voice rumbling, “we won’t really have a proper bed, will we? Not at first. So, yes, it had crossed my mind that the tub might be a good alternative spot to relax together.”

“Mmmm,” Ed purrs, lips centimeters from Stede’s ear. “Excellent creative problem-solving. But you know, we do still have a proper bed. For a little while longer.”

Stede glances towards the bed in question and says in faux surprise, “Why look at that! We absolutely do.”

…

“This is ridiculous!” Jim exclaims from their place pulling the rope leveraging the bathtub up and over the side of the ship. “Helping you guys with the trunks was one thing, but come on.”

“Yeah, isn’t it just gonna sink once we get it down to the water?” Pete asks.

“It’s not going in the water,” Roach huffs out, pulling on his portion of the rope. “Captain says to put it in one of the dinghies.”

“But it’ll take up all the space! How will we row it to shore?” 

Stede calls up from one of the said dinghies already floating next to the ship. “I’ve tied these two together! We’ll row this one and tow the tub’s boat behind us.”

“Christ, that’ll take ages,” Wee John groans.

“Yeah, good luck with that guys. Cause, you know, with my back and all…” Lucius shrugs, shaking his head.

“But why are we doing all this for a bathtub?” Pete questions, wearing a baffled expression.

“Trust me, guys,” Ed says as he helps lift the tub. “It’s essential.”

[foreverdolly]

Do you read anyone else’s fics? Or does writing, take up all your time on here? I’m just genuinely curious if you have any favorite stories? ( you may of been asked this already) -

🤍lola

i will be honest- i don't read as much as i should on this site now that i'm writing daily, but i want to remedy that. if anyone has any recs or if you want me to read your writing, just message me ! i'm an absolute sucker for a well written fic. i'm not doing this in any sort of order btw ! just writing them down as they come to me. if i haven't mentioned a fic of yours- it's not because i don't like it ! it probably means that i just haven't gotten to it yet !

here are some fics that genuinely buttered my biscuit and had my one hundred and fifteen pound, tiny chihuahua-ass doing backflips down the hallway:

forbidden desire- @mamaspresley ( i read this three times within the first 48 hours of it being posted. i would suck the grease out of austin's hair in this movie like a damn rat. i'm jealous of the pitbull that got to chomp on this man's nutsack. i wish i was the doorframe where his ass got curb stomped. jackie did the damn thing on this one. if anyone knew how many times i've actually read this fic, someone might take my phone away from me. i told her that this was one of my favorite tumblr fics in the history of ever and she didn't believe me. "really?" yes, girl. yes. this had me doing the bend and snap. jackie you're so talented.)

to find a cure- @mamaspresley ( adorable. couldn't breathe the entire time. i had my inhaler in my lap and was clutching my modelo with my free hand. knuckles pale. knees quivering. mom's spaghetti. i'm nervous.)

into you - @dreamersparacosm ( this was actually one of the first austin fics i read post-elvis, which is super cool since you were one of my first mutuals as well ! ang, your writing is stellar. this shit had me doing laps around the house. i had to fight off the urge to propose to you. i told my mom about us. the way you write austin??? jesus, mary, joseph, the donkey and all the wise men.)

going method - @oh-austin (this is just so cute to read. it cured my depression and straightened out my scoliosis. i'm also no longer lactose intolerant, and i think this might also be connected to the series.)

the big shot mississippi boy - @ghxst-heart (i devoured this series in one sitting, and am anxiously awaiting part eight. the way that you are able to so accurately describe the 50's. . . it's almost as though you've lived it yourself ! not to mention the way that you write for elvis??? amazing amazing amazing. you deserve all the love.)

a whole man is hard to find- @aconflagrationofmyown (this fic is going to be my downfall, i can just feel it. marina- please don't give me a heart attack. i'm not ready to die yet. i haven't gotten to peg, and i have a few more things after that to cross off the ole' bucket list.)

familiarity- @blainesebastian (i adore this idea, and what you've done with it is absolutely out of this world. you have this fantastic way of making your reader inserts so relatable. it feels very real and i mean that in the best way possible. like any ole' person can run into austin butler while reaching for the coveted maple clusters. gorgeous.)

on a serious note: there's definitely way more than this. i'll be making a second post of more recommendations at a later date, that way everyone can get the love and appreciation that they deserve. thank you all for what you do for this fandom. just know that your hard work does not go unnoticed. i know that most of you either have school work or maybe even a full time job (like myself), and the fact that you set time aside to write for other's enjoyment is selfless, and quite amazing of you. you are seen, loved, and so so talented.