#'if home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked; i cant remember; i cant remember' from 27

[astranauticus]

once my brain (and my schedule) (and my wrist) lets me draw again uh. VR-LA and MR-SN as Ratoo's song from cult of the lamb anyone

"I have been sitting here for so many years, even her face has faded from my mind, yet I keep searching. Always searching."

[navybrat817]

Could you imagine, Rockstar!Bucky for a once not under the influence of anything during a show, only fueled by heartbreak because his girl finally had enough after the biggest argument yet. And usually, they fight and make up but she's avoiding him and the other guys girls and maybe even left the tour 🥺😭 But I cant figure out what the fight would have been about to have Bucky up there, pouring his heart out and his band looking on and not knowing what to do. And the fans confused but also loving the vibe 🥺🥺🥺

Look at him! If this is our White Wolf and Luna, I could see a fight happening because of a pregnancy scare. If he were to go down that path, it would be with you. But now? He's scared. You're both having fun and not quite ready for that, especially with him at the height of his career and loving the life he has. He isn't ready to give that up. Out of that fear, maybe he says something he shouldn't have. He regrets it, but expects you to come back after you throw the nearest object against the wall and storm out of his trailer.

You don't.

He'll see you after his show, right?

Not only do you not show, he notices your bag and some of your stuff is gone.

"What the fuck?"

He asks everyone where you went. No one saw you leave. When he tries to text you, they go unanswered. So do his calls. You haven't blocked him, so that has to be a good sign, right?

But you won't answer Steve or Nat's calls either. Bucky figures maybe they're too close to him, so he goes to Alice and Sunshine. No way would you ignore them. They've become like sisters to you.

Except you aren't responding to them either.

Bucky tries not to panic, but something in him breaks when he realizes you didn't take his favorite jacket with you. Were you cold? Did you miss him? Did you hate him?

Instead of turning to a bottle or anything else, he retreats in a bit on himself. The band, all of them, they're your family. And you're his Luna. His everything. How the hell is he supposed to pretend everything is okay when all he wants is you there?

How does he say he's sorry?

He wants your rage. Your passion. Yell at him. Tell him you hate him. He can take it. But your silence? You not being there? He can't handle that.

It's Alice who sends you the video of him on stage with the caption, "I don't know where you are, but we're worried. Just let us know you're okay, please."

It's a song he wrote for you, but it's tinged with sadness that everyone feels. You see worry cross the faces of the other band members when he closes his eyes and pour his everything into the music. He opens his eyes at the end and looks to the sky. You know he's looking at the moon.

Looking for his Luna.

"Come home."

You finally respond back with, "I'll be okay. I always am."

And you will be. You love Bucky and that'll never change. Maybe you'll call him in the morning. Or maybe he'll remember that secret spot you told him about and he'll find you there.

*****

Because who is the White Wolf without his Luna?

He doesn't want to find out.

Love and thanks! ❤️

[ultra-raging-ghost]

I REACHED POST LIMIT SO HERES MY POST FROM 9:20 ONWARD

"Goodbye my three little ones, your father has to go"

"Im sorry chat, i guess ill just speak from the heart. the way i lost dapper and pomme i dont think i really.. had time to process, so losing him like this feels like losing all three of them at the same time"

Visiting bagis... poor zeno fucking died to a rooster LMAO i missed bagis place so fucking bad

searching for pepito.... where is my baby.... where is my little pepito, there pepito is

Bad doesnt really know what to do with himself, hes still sad but richas is like. Officially gone. Which is a crazy thing to process. I was having a hard time dealing with it but i think richas' final goodbye made me feel a lot better about it,it doesnt feel like theres a nail in the back of my brain now, im a little more content with this at least. Wont really be happy about it, but more content with it

We're gonna go leave a richas flower (blue orchid) at bagi's old base <3 just like how we left a cornflower at a place special to pomme.

hehehe agent 18/panks_ is in chat and theyre tormenting bad for fun

Offering pepito the opportunity to visit one last place, bad plans on coming back and visiting a couple final places sometime soon, not tonight but soon. Probably gonna end after pepito picks where to go

pepito cant think of anywhere, bads picking one more place to go

PEPITO TIME AT THE OFFICIAL DAPPER TIME SPOT??? LETS GOOOOO

Pepitos gonna be temporarily dapper while in the official dapper time spot <333

bads back, i got so comfortable in the old house that i forgot we have to leave. Just a wave of sadness washed over me, it feels like leaving home all over again, it feels like we should be able to walk into the old spawn from dappers train station and see pierre and pomme and etoiles again

pomme in chat... assuring bad she and dapper wont be leaving any time soon. Bad promises us he has some really fun stuff hes been working on he thinks we'll enjoy, this journey isnt over

while waiting for pepito we're reminiscing on when he had to triangulate the Dont have Your Gun thing that was playing that he couldnt find LMAO

currently visiting the old subway bad was building with dapper underground.... the new terrain generation generated a FULL end city RIGHT next to it!!!!

gonna visit bobby fields another day, thats another day issue, but dapper wanted to go see it with him lol

Bad found out Lullah and Richas were leaving yesterday, sounds like he didnt know chay was leaving till today

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO BOO IS HERE!!!! HELLO BOO!!!!!!

Pepitos playing around in the balloons Boo left <33

Bad: Yeah i remember when pomme and dapper came in one of these end cities and scared the muffins out of me Pomme: ?????? Pomme: bro you were dead Bad: I STILL REMEMBER.......

We're gonna go play Wordlos (or however you spell it) one last time before leaving the old spawn <3 gonna see if we can get it to work!!!

kinda works!!! Kinda!!! It mostly works!!!! gonna play!!!!!

"I am so proud of your spanish uncle bad!!! its a great advance to know how to explain something, its the most important thing"

We're looking at the paintings, this is it for the day. Richas logged off with bads statue painting so hes probably never gonna see that again LMAO "thats why we get screenshots"

Pepitos saying a little goodnight to the ghosties <33 pepitos gonna eat all of us up because we're so cute. "I see everything, too. EVERYTHIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG". Pepitos telling us to rest, eat, and drink water, and do our favorite things. We deserve it, to remember not to be sad it ended but be happy it happened at all <3

Bads planning on streaming tomorrow, hes not 100% sure what we'll be doing but he isnt gonna let this crank his steam

Pepitos planning on getting on tomorrow! or whenever! pepito doesnt know when pepito gets on LMAO

Thats all for todays stream, ending at 10:15, goodnight bad, richas, pomme, and dapper <3

[frogsformax]

Bad Idea Right?

Ex! Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

——————————————————————————

Its been a year since you called it quits with him. You were his summer fling, he was your first love.

He broke your heart when then video of him making out with some girl at a party got leaked right before your third year. The whole school year was awkward, he tried to console you and apologize and you just completely ignored him. When you graduated you had no clue that you were going to the same college as him.

It wasn’t until you sat down at your lab table in first year physics that he was sat as your seat partner. You wanted to immediately quit college and move to the moon. this wasn’t just some normal ex, this was the man you had lost your virginity to, the man who had seen you puking, bleeding, and crying.

“Haven't heard from you in a couple of months, But I'm out right now, and I'm all fucked up”

but now here you are, walking home from some random frat party, half drunk and missing your shoes. Some guy had tried to take you to a room upstairs but you managed to hit him with your heel and take off, not caring where the other one ended up.

“And you're callin' my phone, you're all alone, And I'm sensin' some undertones”

you picked up your phone to call koutarou, typing in K and clicking the first contact expecting it to be your loud best friend.

“y/n?” a deeper voice asked.

“hey kou,” you said, not realizing this was not bokuto “im out right now and im all fucked up.. and i need you to call me stupid and pick me up because im walking in the direction of kuroos place and god i just miss him” you rambled into the phone, looking around to try and find a street name.

“And I'm right here with all my friends, But you're sendin' me your new address”

“first off, kuroo doesnt live there anymore. second off this is kuroo..” the voice responded making you stop dead in your tracks. “i live at the west building, do you need somewhere to stay?”

You instantly sobered up. “fuck im sorry tetsurou..” you said softly, halting in your tracks

“come over y/n, lets talk..” he asks, getting cut off by you hanging up.

“And I know we're done, I know we're through

“ But, God, when I look at you, My brain goes, "Ah", Can't hear my thoughts”

“fuckfuckfuckfuck…” you mumbled to yourself, thinking about your options.

yninsta - seeing you tonight

ktetsu - yn?

yninsta - its a bad idea right?

ktetsu - come on please, its been a year lets just talk

yninsta - seeing you tonight is a bad idea right?

ktetsu - come see me

yninsta - fuck it its fine

ktetsu - where are you??

“Yes i know that he’s my ex but cant two people reconnect i only see him as a friend (the biggest lie i’ve ever said)”

You walked along the street for a while, eventually calling a taxi to take you there after a few raindrops started to fall.

“Now im getting in the car wrecking all my plans and i know i should stop… but i cant”

suddenly you found yourself standing outside of the west building a bright yellow taxi pulling off behind you, slowly getting drenched in water from the rain that started during the taxi ride. you pulled out your phone and sent him a text.

yninsta - I should probably, probably not

ktetsu - what?

ktetsu - is that you down there?? its fucking pouring??

ktetsu - where are your shoes yn??

ktetsu - oh my god im coming

“i told my friends i was asleep but i never said where (or in whose sheets)”

the thought of what he would say made you frown. he was always so caring and kind last summer, taking care of you. making you prepare for tests, making sure you ate, and taking care of you after amazing sex.

And I pull up to your place, on the second floor, And you're standin', smiling at the door, And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men, But I really can't remember when

the door to the building swung open, kuroo standing there with a towel as he grabs your arm and pulls you inside, wrapping the towel around you and holding you by the shoulders

“what were you thinking?” he asks, sounding frustrated and worried, bending down to look into your eyes.

“My brain goes, "Ah", Can't hear my thoughts”

“i wasn’t..” you muttered back, looking away from him as you shivered slightly. your black mini dress was not providing any warmth in his cold dorm building.

“jesus christ” he sighs, standing up and pulling you against his chest in a tight hug before walking you up to his dorm

“Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex, Can't two people reconnect?”

after letting you change into some of his clothes kuroo sat you on his bed, you mentally prepared yourself to get fussed at.

“yn, are you okay?” he asked, taking your hands in his.

“yeah.. some guy tried to fuck me.. thats how i ended up with no heels..” you said, refusing to look him in the eyes.

“fuck i would have killed him” kuroo muttered, wrapping you up in a hug. “im sorry” he whispered into your damp hair.

“The biggest lie I ever said, I just tripped and fell into his bed”

“for what?” you asked timidly.

“for everything..” he said, pulling you to sit in his lap. “for what happened at that party.. for not apologizing sooner.. for everything..” he said, his voice flattening into an apologetic tone.

you rested your head on his shoulder, making him look down at you. “its okay.. im sorry for ignoring you”

“no don’t apologize for ignoring me, i was an asshole” he laughed, gazing at you with something that looked like love in his eyes. “is this okay?” he asked, nodding his head to where he was holding you.

“Thoughts”

“yeah its okay” you said, snuggling into him. Your body was dwarfed by one of his science olympiad shirts. “youre warm” you whispered.

“lets get you to bed baby..” he said, whispering the last word out of force of habit as he stood up with one swift move. Tucking you into his bed and placing a kiss on your forehead. “goodnight y/n”

“blah”

he walks off to the living room of his dorm, leaving you in his bed. god it smelled so much like him, the sight of him, his touch. You were gonna go feral.

“Thoughts”

“tetsurou…?” you whispered, walking into the dark living room, wrapped up in a blanket.

“yeah baby?” he mumbled, obviously half asleep.

“miss you..” you mumbled, standing by the couch

he stands up, picking you up and carrying you back to his bed, laying down next to you this time.

“i mean it, go to bed” he whispers, holding you against his chest.

“Blah”

[vampireghostlawyer]

just got home from seeing Saw X with @endlessly-vivid and I HAVE SO MANY. SO MANY EMOTIONS ABOUT IT. [spoilers for saw x under the cut]

-THIS WAS FUCKING AMAZING. GENUINELY. PROBABLY MY FAVORITE SAW SINCE SAW 3, AND DEFINITELY IN MY TOP 5 SAW FILMS OF ALL TIME.

-THE REFERENCE TO THE FIRST FILM WHEN KRAMER GETS UP FROM THE BLOOD (?) TRAP THING

-the reveal was SO SO FUCKING GOOD. we obviously know john and amanda survive, but having the kid to keep the audience on their toes and desperately trying to figure out HOW we get to saw 3 after this was great

-THE VICTIMS WERE SO LIKABLE. genuinely this entire cast of victims were acted and written phenomenally. every single one of them, even someone with so little screen time like valentina or a person we're set up to hate like cecilia had SO much character and i was rooting for all of them at the same time. gabriella's performance was especially amazing, but all of them really were great

-on top of being likable, they were also all so humanized. the little details like mateo needing a translation of the tape and gabriella tossing the tape away when she got scared or trying to hit the radiation with the hammer were so great.

-ALSO how close they all got to surviving their traps was so heart wrenching and insane like i was on the edge of my seat every time.

-AMANDA AMANDA AMANDA. she has always slayed, she has always been an indie horror sweetheart but this movie was one of my favorites pieces of her that we've seen. there is so much more depth and incentive added to a lot of her actions in saw 3 now and it is gorgeous. also shawnee smith gave a beautiful performance as always

-THE HIGHLIGHTING OF JIGSAW'S HYPOCRISY CONTRASTED WITH CECILIA'S WAS AMAZING. cecilia, a wealthy white woman taking advantage of those she has privilege over being a mirror to the way jigsaw blames people for systemic problems that are often times out of their control. cecilia in general was a great villain.

-HOFFMAN CAMEO I SCREAMED.

-my one gripe with the film (sorry i love to critique) is the traps. they were all super creative and it was awesome to see an extra level of complexity added to some of them compared to prior traps, but some of them were so anatomically and medically impossible that i got annoyed watching 😭 mateo acting completely normal after removing like two inches of brain matter and everyone having unrealistically short periods to complete their tasks was annoying BUT the traps were all hella cool so i cant even be truly angry. my favorite was probably mateo's. it was the first saw trap in a while to make me wince and definitely one of the traps where i would be using those tools to kms asap instead of actually attempting to survive lmao

-autumn brought this up to me and i agree so much but the return to some of the classic saw editing was so refreshing and nostalgic.

-i have so many other thoughts but this is all i can organize right now. AHHH, 4.5/5 stars, can't remember the last time i was so hyped in a theater

[b1mbodoll]

AAAAAAA OMG DO I HAVE A LONG ASS ASK FOR YOU. MY DATE/NOT DATE HAS JUST CONCLUDED....

So a little back story - I worked with this guy this past summer and like the first time we met I alr liked him. Like he was exactly my type. Like 100%. But I'm super shy (never dated anyone, never kissed anyone, never held hands with anyone) so I never really did anything obvious that I liked him bc I was nervous. We kind of flirted (maybe) a lot near the end of the summer. We texted a lot a lot but he ended up moving up to college for his apartment earlier than expected so we never got to see eachother after our last days of work. There was lots of drama on my end surrounding that trust. Like mental anguish bc I fumbled the bag hard.

Anyways. We start school respectively (I go to school in NY and him in TX) and we don't talk that often, just snap like everyday. But as the semester goes on we reply to each other's stories and have short, friendly convos more frequently. Flashforward to like, a week ago or something. I reply to his insta story and we start talking. He finds out that I'm going home for Thanksgiving and he is to so he asks me to hang out. This is odd bc we weren't close enough as friends for me to think that he would ask to see me.

Anyways again, I'm skipping details bc otherwise I'll never finish this lmao - the date/not date was like everything else we do. Vaguely romantic but could also be friendly. He picked me, we ate dinner and then went ice skating together. He walked up to my door to get me, held open doors for me, and opened the car door to walk me back to my house after we got back. But like - no moves were made. No attempts to hold my hand or kiss me. AT ALL. But like he also complimented my butterfly hair lips like sir 😭😭 idk what you want from me.

But now I'm feeling kind of tired of 6-7 months of not knowing where we stand with eachother. So I texted him afterwards saying "Thank you so much for tonight, I loved seeing you again! Although, I did want to know if it was a date or if it really was intended as just a hangout, bc it did seem like it sometimes? Either way, I'd love to meet up with you again if we're both in town!" He then liked bith of the thank you messages and replied, we definitely should. But then he replied to the daye/not date ask with - I don't know. I'll have to think about it. He then said something about it being more than he anticipated but still good, so idk if that means that it wasn't intended as a date but became one and he enjoyed it or if he meant it as a date but I fumbled the bag (I give just as many mixed signals bc I'm an anxious coward lmao) but it still ended up okay.

HOWEVER, I AM A GENIUS, LIKE RIZZ MASTER 1000. I accidentally left something in his car so tmmr morning he's gonna drive back to drop it off (It's like an hour round trip for him). And tomorrow is the day I will stop being a bitch. I'm gonna tell him that I'm interested but that I also do genuinely enjoy him as a person so like, however he intends to meet up with ne in the future I'll be okay with that.

So yeah. Story time over 🫶🫶🫶🫶 Sorry that it's actually so long but I remember how excited you were so I wanted to let you know how it went 💗💗💗💗

IM ON MY KNEES RN STOP u r so cute and agh!!!!!! i will be needing an update with whatever happens pretty please, honey 🤲

im so ☹️☹️☹️ u guys went ice skating ☹️ that’s so so so so fucking cute!!!!!! that actually is so cute my heart cant take it ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ but no moves being mad.. 🤬 yeah i need to have a stern talking to with this man!!! what r ur intentions with my little angel, you HEATHEN!!! hehe no but srsly dont be anxious sweetheart! i know its hard n way easier said than done, but you seem so wonderful and im sure he thinks that as well! im so glad you had a good time <3

rizz master 1000 has me crying omg ur too silly 😭 but him driving AN HOUR TO GIVE U UR THINGS STOP IT my little heart is so warm :( im proud of u for messaging him and asking for clarification about what the lil hangout was! n pls u r anything BUT a bitch!!!!! ur perfect and i hope things work out well with him!

dont apologize for he length! i love anything romance so inwas looking forward to this update!!!! wishing u the best of luck with him <3 mwah

[mesukohi]

Embers

Isuka x Portgas D. Ace

Summary:

A familiar face visits Ace a few hours prior his execution

Abandon all your hope, ye who enter here is scribbled on the dusty brick walls that surrounded a certain flame commander. Goosebumps raises in response to the cold air that swiftly caresses skin, a touch from the reaper himself, meaning to guide him into river Styx to what could be the heaven or the underworld. He had already forgotten the concept of time, the absence of sunlight making the difference of day and night blurry to those who are unfortunate enough to end up in impel down. The shackles made of sea stone continued to suffocate his wrist, cutting away the demon blood that circulated his weakened body.

He has no regrets, that's for sure.

Even though that shadows of death is near, he will wholeheartedly welcome it with open arms. As long as luffy is safe. As long as pops is safe. That is all that matters.

The sounds of footsteps nearing his cell snapped the freckled man from his thoughts. A warden he barely know hits the metal bars to alert him that a visitor has arrived to see him. He wasn't expecting one in all honesty, but if this visitor is able to reach impel down in such a short notice, perhaps the unknown guest is someone who has name and power in regards to the government.

And he was right.

There, in front of his cell is a woman with fiery hair he was too familiar with. Her once short locks has now reached her hips, gloved hand hiding the burnt scars that he used to kiss. Her eyes glowed sienna against the harsh lighting, and on her shoulders was the coat of justice that the navies wore with pride. She was not a mere ensign anymore by the way those medals hung against her crisp uniform but still, he knows, that she remained that kind and loving woman he met years ago.

"Isuka" he breathes, parched throat rasping her name instead.

"Its nice to see you again, Firefist" the redhead greets, arms crossing indignantly. "I never thought the day would come that I won't be happy to see you locked up in a cell"

"Fiesty as ever" he chuckled "Did you just visit me so that you could tell that joke?"

"No, not really" she stepped closer, eyes adjusting to meet the the prisoner's lonely gaze "I'm here to visit an old friend"

"We're not just friends, Isu" Ace cleared, the corner of his lips stretching to form a bitter smile.

"Call me Captain Isuka now, that nickname doesnt matter anymore" she answered, voice firm.

"You used to love it when I called you that"

"Damn it Ace, just stop!" the navy exclaimed, lone boot stomping against the ground. "All of that is in the past now. We made our choices! We took different paths that are polar opposites and there's nothing we can do to change it!" Tears began to form on the corner of her eyes, the naval biting her lips to prevent the waterworks from falling "This is not the time and place... I don't even know if there will be one. For once in your life, can you please let me say goodbye in peace?"

"I won't die Isu" Ace assured lovingly, "As long as my brothers can remember me, as long as you hold me in your memory I wont"

"But I don't want you to be a memory" Isuka broke "I want you alive. I want to see your bounty raise, I want to see the changes of your smiles in your damn wanted posters. I want you to live!"

"But it's too late now is it?" he retorted, brown irises gleaming sadly "I made my choice Isu. This is the life I wanted. The best thing you could do is keep pops and luffy safe"

"But what about me?! Did you even took the time to think what I wanted?! Why are you always so stubborn, Ace!" she snapped, gloved hands gripping the metal bars that separated her and her beloved "Your ears were always closed. You never listen to anybody! Now look at you! I can't even hold you. I cant even touch you let alone kiss you goodbye!"

Slowly, her knees fell to the ground, pained sobs echoing against the cold brick walls.

"You should've listened to me and became a warlord. That way, at least we have the slightest chance to be together"

"I... can't. I won't" the pirate answered, head held down guiltily "Even if you ask me now, my answer will be the same. That position is not for me, you know that more than anyone"

"And I respect that but still..." she inhales deeply, harvesting enough courage to quell the fire on her chest "I suppose I just have to suck it up and accept that this is not our time" she began, watery eyes meeting his "Maybe in another world we were meant to be happy. But not here. Not in this one. We were meant to meet each other but we are not fated to be together. And it hurts Ace! Its ripping me apart"

"I know" he answered, the flood on his cheeks starting "And it hurts me to see you suffer. This is my fault. Just forget about me and move on. You deserve to be happy"

"Don't ask me to move on as if that's an easy feat!" she yelled back, snot dripping from her nose "Do you think I have moved on already when we left each other years ago? For fuck's sake Ace, I never did! I won't be standing in front of you right now if I've already forgotten you. You are hard to forget! The happiness we shared before is tattooed in my mind and it surfaces no matter how much i suppress it!"

Footsteps echoed abruptly, indicating that the guard from before has returned to fetch the visitor. The redhead raises her hand, asking for a few more minutes in which the warden grumbled "two" before standing prostate on the side. Isuka darts back at the guilt ridden prisoner, memorizing the face that will soon depart the living world.

"I will not be in marineford Ace" she admitted, taking a step back from his cell "I'm not going to stand there and watch you die. Im not going to fight the people you hold on your heart dearly. I'll be home waiting until this nightmare ends"

She turned on her heels, preparing to leave.

"I am thankful to have met you. I am thankful that you loved me. I am thankful of the fond memories that you have given me. I know I shouldn't be saying this but... I do hope that your father will be able to save you. Goodbye, Firefist"

"Isu, wait!" he calls, making the navy captain stop on her tracks "Do you... Do you still love me?" he asked exasperatedly.

She gives him a gentle smile, eyes filled with a lonely light as she spoke.

"I never stopped loving you, Ace. And I will continue to love you no matter where you are"

There are eight more hours until Portgas D. Ace's execution. And right now, he realizes that he has one regret.

[khaleesiofalicante]

me, nodding of to sleep: IM HERE IM HERE

did my head just loll to the side? you will never know. first of all this chapter was the most beautiful thing i have ever read. Mavid have my HEART. It's also 4 16 am so im sorry if the reactions are a little bland but this was PERFECT.

me, throughout the whole thing: mavid mavid mavid

They had kissed for the first time almost a week ago. And they had kissed again. A couple of times.

Okay fine, they had kissed a lot since then.

Not a lot a lot. But a lot.

Wait a minute. How much kissing was a lot of kissing?

this is adorable

“I heard he cried when he found out Lexi and Liv were dating,” David chuckled.

yup that's jace

“We have to pay to talk on the phone?” Max asked incredulously. “I thought it was free.”

“Of course it isn’t free, Max!” David chuckled. “We have to pay for WiFi too.”

“This is ridiculous!” Max said. “Next you will say we have to pay for electricity.”

“Um, we do have to pay for electricity,” David chuckled again.

we pay for water too

but max you didnt know-

“Don’t let them guilt trip you!” Max had chastised. “They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”

cant relate nope

“I don’t know,” Max groaned. “My family is so dramatic.”

the lightwood-banes in one sentence

THERE ARE SO MANY FEELS MY HEART CANNOT CONTAIN

“Well, too late!” Max announced. “This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.”

In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that.

nah its gonna be great

“Perhaps you should just take him to the New York Library. They have, uh, books.”

yes that is what they keep in libraries

OH MY GOD THE FRIEND IS ELYASS

HERE'S MY FAVORITE DEMON Y'ALL

His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice.

But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages.

well-

you know i really shouldnt have laughed at the demon attack news but for some reason i did

i blame my sleep deprivation

shit i feel sick

you know maybe i shouldve just waited till the morning...

ok but the demon attack is NOT coincidental

there is something going on

“I thought dragon demons were extinct!” Max yelled over the commotion.

well-

ANJALI

“Man, fuck the orders!” Max said in frustration.

if you get hurt ill kill you

oh it's not her

well fuck

“That was an Armani, you piece of shit!” Rafael yelled at the demon. Max almost laughed.

THE AUDACITY

It really did. Dragon demons smelled like they lived inside a boys locker room.

well that's nice to know

FUCK THEY ARE TALKING NOW???

ok what is going on

“Say the thing!!!”

“I’m not saying the damn thing, you maniac!”

“Say the thing!”

Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.

“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

LMAO THEM

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.”

Im so sleepy i cant even react to this

but THEM I CANT-

WHERE.IS.ALEC

Max wanted to laugh. Only David would worry about another person while being injured in the infirmary.

MUST BE PROTECTED

Max nodded; his throat still dry. He couldn’t stop staring at David. At the wound. At the blood.

Also, maybe the naked chest.

AHEM

OH MY GOD JAIME IS ALIVE

we're getting lightwood-bane fluff LET ME CRY

alec...

on one hand alec smoking is fucking hot BUT WITH THE MUNDANE DISEASES OH HELL NAH

“But it tastes so good when it’s from your plate!” Max said with a mouth full of food.

“Oh, you want my food? Here!” Rafael grinned and threw a piece of chicken at his face.

Max caught it with his mouth cause wasting food was a crime. “Thanks, bro!”

“You little s-”

HE CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH

“And no fighting over chicken!” Bapak pointed out. “We can always summon some more.”

“Order,” dad corrected. “We don’t summon. We order. And then we pay.”

“How do we destroy capitalism if we have to pay for everything?” Max asked.

Max has a point y'know

“That’s rich coming from someone who is wearing an Armani jacket,” Max stuck out his tongue.

“It was a gift!” Rafael said, furiously chewing on his chicken.

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked.

LMAO

Max: What even-

Max: Can shadowhunters get high on iratzes lol

CAN THEY???

David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!”

MOOD

PLEASE RAFAEL AND MAGNUS ARE LIKE "About time"

SAME THOUGH

“David is what you get if Dad and Uncle Jace and Uncle Jem had a baby.”

STOP NO

“Oh,” Max said. “Uh, David and I…We are dating.”

Dad choked on his coffee. “Excuse me?”

Bapak chuckled next to him. “Of course you didn’t know.”

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?”

“There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!”

There's alec. Yup

OH MY GOD NOT THE SEX TALK

good thing i had wattpad I MEAN-

“Kissing?” dad gaped. “On the mouth???”

“Um, where else would we kiss?” Max asked incredulously.

“Well, actually,” Bapa cleared his throat. “There are many ways you can enjoy-”

IM CACKLING

And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life.

Max decided he would rather get attacked by a hoard of dragon demons than sit through it any longer

“You guys know we have something called the internet, right?” Max demanded.

“Well, the internet can have mixed messages,” Bapak sniffed. “We on the other hand have real life experien-”

“Magnus!” dad looked red in the face.

“Fine,” Bapak sighed. “Now moving on to the importance of lubrication and-”

“I’m begging you to stop,” Max groaned.

THE NOISES WHICH LEFT MY MOUTH ARE NOT OK TO BE MAKING AT 3 30 AM

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.”

HE'S SO DRAMATIC

“Well,” dad said carefully. “David is…”

“French?” Max asked.

i blame my sleep deprived ass for laughing at this

next thing i know someone's being tortured and im laughing because i dont have sleep in my system

Max honey...

listen to him

i for one, dont want a repeat of pg 511 cols

oh he's finding out about the incident

that's what i call it

Max thought of all the stories he had heard then. The one of the warlock who killed people who he could bring back his dead girlfriend. The one about a nephilim mother who paired up with prince of hell to bring back her dead son.

oh yeah...

shudder

They called it The Jem effect.

AYYYYY

It was true. In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual.

very very valid. have a good day sir

AWW MAX DIDNT KNOW HE COULD BLUSH

you know it's a sign ive been watching b99 too much that i was imagining mina talking like gina...

pls send help

ALSO MINA BESTEST SDCHJDFVYDYUGFYUGFVDYVFD

“Can we not talk about my boyfriend’s sperm, please?”

im surprised my parents havent woken up by the sound i let out

BUT HEY THE DOOR'S CLOSED SO

SUGGENS MINA

“I’m hearing an inflated sense of self-importance,” he heard Ragnor call from the bathroom. “Is Magnus here?”

“Just the spawn,” Max called back.

THE SPAWN BYE-

“He is married to the Consul!” Tessa chuckled. “And one of his sons is a shadowhunter.”

“It’s still very bad for our reputation,” Ragnor grumbled. “He is too close with shadowhunters.”

“You are the headmaster of Scholomance!” Catarina said incredulously. “You teach nephilim! Even though you don’t need a job!”

“I was coerced!” Ragnor huffed. “Manipulated by the children of the angel.”

really ragnor?

The grin disappeared and Ragnor buried his face on Catarina’s shoulder. “I can’t go through this again, Cat! Not again!”

“So much for not taking up after his father, huh?” Catarina chuckled and looked at him. “That’s nice, Max. We are happy for you.”

“We are not!” Ragnor said in a muffled voice.

RAGNOR DJHDCUHUKIHDVVFDDB

OOOO MAX DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CAMILLE

a kind of endless love...

dont make me cry

“I know you are worried, love,” Tessa’s voice was a whisper. “You are worried about surviving after David. You are worried about your own heart. But you should never let that fear stop you from finding love. Because love is what sustains us immortals. It keeps us alive. When you love a mortal, you love them forever. You might not remember all the memories. The colour of their eyes or the sound of their voice. But you will remember the love. You will carry that love inside you forever. It does not make you weak or fragile. It makes you stronger. And you will forever be grateful for it.”

my eyeballs are too tired to cry

stop it

THEY SAID I LOVE YOU

I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOM

bitch you hate children wtf-

Max laughed. “I’m going to kill dad for making us do this. God, this is so weird!”

better get it done now

HE'S DAVID'S FOREVER

dont do this to me at 4 am

“You should two should some spend time together. Get to know each other and all of that,” Max suggested with a smile. “Maybe you can bond over archery or something.”

“I’m pretty sure he would use me for target practice,” David mumbled.

“Don’t be ridiculous, David!” Max said incredulously. “My father doesn’t need target practice!”

At this point, a David and alec scene isn't a want its a NEED

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do.

me throughout life

max Rafael isn't the one smoking-

OH MY GOD MY DAD JUST CAME TO CHECK ON ME THE WAY I SLAMMED MY LAPTOP

“Also tell him to stop smoking!” Max pointed out seriously. “It’s not good for his health! Especially with all the mundane illnesses going on.”

“I know, Max,” dad sighed heavily and blinked. “I mean, I’ll talk to him. For sure.”

Alec if anything happens to you...just know ill raise hell

“I don’t want easy,” David smiled. “I want you.”

IT'S 4 AM DUDE

AYYY THE SHANGHAI SHADOW MARKET

CELESTIAL PALACE

“Dad? The Consul? That dad?” David looked surprised and relieved all at once. “Oh my god, he doesn’t hate me!”

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.”

of course, he did

oh my god SLEEP. there is so much to do tomorrow dying...my grammar was really bad and I don't have what it takes to use Grammarly's corrections except for the ones it's already doing as type.

this chapter had my heart BURSTING!! AHHHHHHH

the talk was so important I'm so glad they took care of that. ok imma head to bed now BYEE

Eeeeeee this was a lot sfkjdfkd I hope you are okay. Get some sleep next time or I will call the police.

Thank you as always for reading, reacting and supporting 💚

[msmarvelwrites]

The Winter Soldier - Part 15

Info: A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: swearing, gun violence. 

W/c: 2.9k

A/n: I’m double posting for @kalesrebellion​ because she called me out. So here you go babe. Also, I did an embarassing amount of research trying to come up with the basics for the serum. But I concluded that this is fiction and it doesnt really matter. But if you’re ur a science major and this doesnt make sense please dont come for me lol

There are moments in your life that define you. Moments you look back on after everything and wonder, if you had listened to your gut, maybe it would be different. This was one of those moments. Bucky’s world shattered around him as Natasha’s words rang through his comm. 

“We’ve been compromised, Buck. I’ve been hit. They got Y/n.” Her voice, broken and solemn. 

No. 

Dammit, NO.

This isn't how this was supposed to happen. This was an easy job. Only a few Hydra agents resided in this compound. The whole thing felt like a dream. One he was completely and utterly unprepared to handle. How could he let this happen. He should have been there. 

“Dammit. What's your location? I'm coming to you.” He shouted. His blood began to boil and he heard your heavy breathing on the other side. You were running. “Y/n, please come in. Please, doll. Where are you?” Bucky hated how broken he sounded. He knew the rest of the team could hear his begging, but he didnt care. He couldn't. He just needed to get to you. 

“You always were a fighter. Right till the bitter end.” A man’s muffled voice came through his comm. He didn't recognize it as anyone he knew, but there was something familiar about it. A distant memory he couldn't quite piece together. Before he could speak, your voice broke though, a small whisper shattering his heart and sending him into a blind rage. 

“Bucky” You breathed, choking on a cough. 

“Y/n. I’m coming to you, doll. Don't worry, I've got you. I’m going to get you out of this. Don't worry, I’m coming.” He pleaded, but was only met with static, and then finally silence. The rest of the team kept quiet, waiting for any kind of sign of life from you. When none came, Nat spoke up. 

“Guys, we gotta get out of here. They've set off a security alert, this place is going to blow in three minutes.” Her voice was now back to its usual tone, but Bucky knew better. She was scared, he could hear it.  “ There’s no sign of her out here. She’s just… gone.” He could hear that she was running now.

“Bucky, we gotta go.” Steve spoke from beside him. Bucky’s head snapped to his friend, eyes wide and body still frozen. 

“We can't leave. Not without her.” He all but begged. 

“You heard Natasha, she’s on her way.” He paused, “Nat, you got the files?” He spoke into his earpiece, motioning Bucky to follow him to the entrance they had come through. 

“Yeah, I have them. Thanks for asking by the way. I’m great, two more bullet holes in my gut, but yeah, files are more important.” She scoffed, causing Steve to roll his eyes.  “I’m headed to the entrance right now.”

“No, I’m not leaving without Y/n!” Bucky tried to pull away from Steve, but he was stronger. A fact he would never admit to the guy, his head was already big enough. 

“She’s not here Buck. They wouldn't blow the compound with her in it.” He persisted.

Sam’s voice interjected, “Jet’s fired up, you guys better get the fuck outta there. We have less than a minute.” 

Bucky and Steve ran through the dark hallways together until they almost slammed into Nat’s small frame. He gasped when she appeared in the hollow moonlight. Her face was contorted in pain, something he was all too familiar with. Guilt.

“I lost her. I’m so sorry, it was my job to-” She broke off into a sob. Bucky wanted to agree. Yell that if she was a better agent- a better person his girl would be coming home with them. But he couldn't... This was on him. He knew it was a bad idea to bring you on the mission. He deserved all the blame. 

“She’s not dead. Not yet anyways. But we will be if we don't get out of here.” Steve yelled over the alarms blaring in the hallway. 

Bucky and Nat both nodded, and followed Steve across the field. Before they could reach the jet, the warehouse behind them rumbled before letting out an earth shattering explosion, sending the two of them flying into the ground. Without hesitation, Bucky grabbed Natasha's hand and pulled her from the ground. He wrapped her arm around his shoulder and all but dragged her body onto the jet. 

“Vision’s been alerted we need medical. He’s been staying at a safe house in Munich. We can be there in thirty minutes.” Steve spoke urgently, rifling through the cabinets of the jet looking for the first aid kit. 

“Seriously guys, it's a flesh wound. I’m- Ah!” Nat screamed in pain as the jet hit a spout of turbulence. 

“Like you were saying.” Wanda smirked, placing her hands carefully on Nats' wound. Her hands glowed a deep red as she tried to relieve the pain. The spy’s face relaxed, but only for a moment before she was back to worried. 

“He’s alive, Buck.” Nat spoke, and when she did, he could hear the fear in her words. 

“Who?” Steve demanded, but Nat’s eyes stayed put on Bucky’s. 

“Tommy. She said his name in the hallway. It was him, Buck. He’s not dead. He’s the one that shot me, the one that took her.” Nat flinched in pain as Wanda's hands fell from her side. 

“That’s not possible.” Bucky shook his head. “Steve found my mission file. I killed him. I remembered it. You just don't walk away from that.” 

“Well, clearly you do.” Nat spoke sarcastically, pointing to the gushing holes in the body. 

“So Tommy’s alive? And he’s Hydra now?” Wanda asked, suddenly realising her hands were not on Nat’s wounds anymore. She placed them back silently apologising. 

“And he’s got Y/n.” Bucky added, his jaw clenched in anger. 

“We’ll get her back.” Steve spoke. He placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder which he quickly shrugged off, pacing back and forth through the small aircraft. 

“I know we will. And i’m going to finish the fucking job and tear that prick in two.” He seethed, mostly to himself. 

He tried to focus on the task at hand. Desperately brainstorming how to get to you, but his mind was spirling. How could he just leave you? How could he have been so stupid? The sound of his name leaving your lips echoed around him, only fuling his growing rage. 

“All our tactical suits have hidden trackers in the sleeves. We will hear it go off, but until then we wait. They cant have gotten far.” Steve started as the jet began its descent. “We're almost at the safe house. We’ll track her from there. In the morning, we’ll head out.”

“Morning? That's too long. She could be-'' Bucky cut himself off, too broken at the thought to finish that sentence. “I’ll find her myself tonight.” He grumbled. 

“Oh no you don’t. We’re a team, Buck. We do this together. Vision will be able to enable her tracker. But we need to work together. We can't lose anybody else to impulse decisions.” Steve scolded. 

He knew his friend was right but it didn't make it any easier to agree. All Bucky wanted to go but get you back. Keep you safe and never let anyone touch you again. He tried to keep his distance before, he really did, but that was out the window now. There wasn't a chance in hell he was leaving your side after this. As for the man that ripped you from his grasp, oh boy… He tried not to make a habit out of fantasizing murder, mostly as it resulted in the Winter Soldier coming out of the shadows, but if that was the case with Tommy, so be it. Only when Bucky stood in a pile or carnage and gore and blood would he finally feel peace again...

“We're coming up on the safe house. Y'all ready to bail?” Sam's voice tore Bucky out of his thoughts, and thankfully so. He was sure it was leading to a very destructive path. 

“Buck, help us get Nat inside. Wanda and Sam - sweep the area, make sure no one has followed us. I’ll fill Vision in on what's happened and see if he can turn on Y/n’s tracker now.” Steve commanded as he hopped out of the jet. 

“Can you stand?” Bucky asked, dipping down to tuck Nats arm around his shoulder, helping her up. She nodded reluctantly, wincing in pain as she moved. 

The safe house was a small cabin in the middle nowhere. Munich was only a few minutes down the road but the thick coverage of trees that surrounded the cabin made it feel secluded and hard to be spotted from above.  If they weren't followed, no one would ever know they were here. 

Bucky helped Nat inside, letting Steve and Wanda take over once they were through the door. Before he could enter, he stopped, taking a moment to gaze upon the sun rising over the mountains. In a few hours, he’d be with you again. He just had to make it until then, and pray to whatever god would still have him, that you were alive. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Продолжай копать. Нам надо её найти.” Keep digging. We have to find it. The voice rang in your mind, waking you from the recurring nightmare. Visions of Tommy and that boyish smile that once brought so much happiness.. His voice, the way it used to say your name, now only causing you ache. 

“Wait, rewind there! Вернись. That’s it.” The voice spoke again, echoing around the room. You opened your eyes slowly, taking in your surroundings, but all you were met with was darkness. You could feel movement around you, but the blindfold tied around your eyes masked their faces. 

“I’m positive she told me what was in that serum.” His voice caused your heart to just about leap from your chest. You knew that voice anywhere. 

“You better be right. You're as good as dead to me otherwise.” Another man spoke. 

“No I’m sure. Wait! Right there. Replay that part.” Tommy asserted. 

Suddenly a headache burned through your temples, scorching the inside of your eyes. You screamed in pain as it coarsed though your body until an image appeared in your mind. It replayed over and over, making you dizzy. 

“Whatcha doing?” Tommy cooed, taking a seat on your desk. 

“Just trying to find the right components.” You spoke, not taking your eyes microscope as you examined the petri dish below. 

“Cummon, baby. You've been at this for hours. Come eat something.” You looked up, Tommy stood there with that big goofy smile you loved so much. 

“I’ve almost got it. Just a little longer.” You reassured him, rolling in your chair and picking up another sample and analysing it. 

“What exactly is, it?” he asked, emphasizing the word. 

“If I mix the steroid with-” 

Another shrieking jolt of pain seared through you as the memory disappeared, leaving you trembling. 

“Go back, we almost had it!” Someone yelled from beside you. 

You tried to scream, to beg them to stop, but it was no use. Before you could try again, the same horrible pain erupted through your body, ripping you back to the distant memory. 

“If I mix the steroid with human blood, it does as it's designed.  But taking into account the theory of nuclear transmutation, we can assume given the right element we can use the serum to absorb its surroundings, right?” You spoke, like it was common sense. 

“Sure…” Tommy chuckled. 

“So, strip down the original serum, add radiation to its compound, now it needs the ability to absorb energy… What element do we know has that power?” it wasn't a question, nor did you think Tommy would know the answer so you continued, “Water, and our bodies are basically made of that. So in turn, if we can create the original serum mixed with high levels of radiation, inject the person, granted you're not killed by that high levels of toxicity, we're looking at a new type of Super Soldier. One that could, in theory, mutate around the serum and absorb its surroundings!” You finally finished.

“I have no idea what any of that means… But it sounds cool. Now put the vile down, and eat something.” He laughed, grabbing the sample out of your hands and carefully placing it on the table next to you.

“Thats it!” Someone shouted. “Of course, why didn't we think of this. Call the commander, tell him we found it.” 

You felt your body twist in agony, but soon the memory left, leaving you back in the dark with disembodied voices echoing around you. 

“What do you want me to do with her?” a man asked. 

“I don't care. убить её?” Kill her? You froze at his words. Even if you could move, your hands were tied down to the chair. Gentally you wiggle your fingers, careful not to draw any attention to yourself. Not that you would be able to tell. The ring that Shuri had made you was still there. If you timed in right, and you still had Wanda’s borrowed power, you could use it to untie yourself and hopefully get the fuck out of this hell hole. 

“Kill her?” Tommy choked. “You didn't say anything about killin’ her?” 

“You should be thankful. The girl’s been sharing a bed with the same man who killed you once before. In fact, I’m so pleased with your work developing this memory decoder that I’ll give you the honour.” The man spoke, shuffling around the room. “Here, tell me when you're done having your fun.” A few heavy footsteps later, and you finally heard the door close. The silence was deafening, but eventually, Tommy let out a deep breath and took a step towards you, ripping your blind fold off. 

You squinted as you tried to acclimate your eyes to the lighting of the room. It was small and dark, but a few dim lights hung above you illuminating Tommy's features. Once upon a time you would have described them as strong and rugged. Now they seemed to loom over you, sending a shiver down your spine. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, softer than you expected. You quickly clocked the pistol in his left hand and tried to suppress a scoff. 

“Am I okay?” You gawked at him. “You just dug through my head like a sand pit. No- no I’m not okay you shit head!” You screamed. 

Tommy chuckled, using the gun to scratch the back of his neck. “Touché…” He spoke, pulling up a stool and plopping himself down on it infront of you. “I missed that attitude baby. Really, these past couple years have been hell without you. These guys are really scary, but I told em- I said, my girl will know what to do. And you did, baby. I never doubted you.” His voice was like honey. Thick and sickenly sweet. 

“What are you talking about?! I thought you were dead!? I mourned you, asshole. And you've been alive this whole time, working against me?” You couldn't believe how cavalier he was being about this. Tommy only shrugged, fuling the rage inside you. 

“Nah, it's not like that. I was dead, really I was. But then Hydra came and BOOM I was back. They promised me that they’d keep me safe, as long as I could help em get that serum you were always talkin’ bout. Said they wanted to give it time in your system, make sure it didn't kill ya.” He started, narrowing his eyes slowly, “You grieved me? That's a funny way of putting it. Cause from what I saw in that head of yours, you were pretty chummy with that Soldier.”  

You couldn't stifle the scoff that erupted in your mouth. “You're kidding right? Jesus, Tom. They brainwashed me. And I don't need to explain myself. You're sick, you know that?  How could you do this? Do you have any idea what they're going to use that serum for?” You fired the questions off like explosives into his chest, but he didn't even flinch. 

“I don't really care. They told me if I gave em’ your little recipe, they’d let me go.” He shrugged. 

“And so what? Now you're going to kill me?” 

“No… Maybe. I haven't really decided yet.” He looked down at the pistol like it was the first time he really noticed it was there. Contemplating your death like he was deciding between his morning coffee. 

“I would get going on that if I were you.” You lifted your hands, wiggling your wingers playfully “Really, Tommy, you're not cut out for this line of work.” You spat, jumping from your seat and landing a hard kick to his gut, sending him flying back. The gun ricocheted off the ground and hit the wall, but before he could react, you grabbed it. In one swift move you turned the safety off and placed your finger on the trigger. 

“Cummon baby, let's talk about this.” He raised his hands in surrender. “You wouldn't shoot me.” 

You cocked a brow, “You sound really confident in that statement. Especially for a boy who was debating my death a moment ago.” You argued. 

“Dont take it personally, baby. Anything you can do, I can do better. Remember?” You smirked. 

................................................................................................................................

A/n: Another Cliff hanger? Yes. Do I know how to wrote anything else? No... My bad lol. I hope your enjoyed this one as much as I did writing it! As always, @cutie1365​ is the bomb dot com for editing this for me. Tommy sucks, we both agree. I hope he gets whats coming to him... please leave some love and reblog if you read it! 

@kalesrebellion​

@projectcampbell​

@calwitch​

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 1

Summary: Your past with Chris catches up with you.

A/N: Can’t say more than that or it gives stuff away! 😂 Taglist is open, if 

you want to be added let me know 💕

After a long day working at the local coffee shop the last thing i wanted to do was go to a club! But it was Sadie's leaving party so i had to make an appearance or id never hear the end of it.

It had actually been a really fun night, my first night out in what felt like years and after a few drinks i let myself enjoy it. I even had a couple of guys offer to buy me a drink! Just after midnight i caught a taxi home and left the younger girls to carry on with their partying..... how they did it i don't know! Most of them had had far too much to drink already and no intention of stopping any time soon. God i miss the days where i could do that!

When i finally got home i dropped my bag and my jacket next to the front door, went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and headed up to bed. I managed to throw on an oversized t-shirt before crashing face first into bed, the make up removal would have to wait til the morning i was too exhausted to care.

I woke up to my cell phone blaring loudly in my ear, i patted around for it keeping my eyes closed already feeling the hangover! I mumbled a 'hello' then heard the soft chuckle of my mom.

"Had a good night did you?"

"Mmm it was okay, i'm so not used to drinking anymore Ma. How do people do this every weekend?" I moaned as i slowly opened one eye then the other.

"I remember when you'd be out every weekend, you even ended up in Vegas that one weekend...."

"I remember believe me!" I said as i finally sat up grabbing the bottle of water from the bedside cabinet draining half of it.

"I was just wondering what time you were coming over?.... you said 10am but its almost lunch time"

"What??!! are you serious?.... shit. Okay let me go get a cup of coffee and take a quick shower and i'll be there"

"Okay sweetheart, no rush"

"Everything's okay?"

"Yeah yeah all good. I'll see you soon"

"Okay, bye mom".

I had just finished my coffee and was heading upstairs for a shower when the doorbell rang. I was going to ignore it but then whoever it was started knocking.

"Jesus.... give me a second" i muttered marching to the front door, i opened the door just a crack hiding behind the door due to my lack of pants! When i looked through the gap i gasped.... the last person i ever expected to see was stood on my doorstep.

"Chris...."

"Hey" he smiled nervously "sorry for just showing up like this but i didn't have your number. I tried calling the one i had for you but it was out of service"

"Yeah i had to change it a few years back..... wh...what are you doing here Chris?"

"Can we talk inside?.... i don't really wanna do this through a crack in your door" he laughed a little but it was more of a nervous laugh.

"Erm, sure can you give me a couple minutes to go put some pants on?... i was just about to get in the shower"

"Sure"

I nodded and closed the door before quickly rushing upstairs and grabbing my jean shorts from the chair where i had discarded them yesterday. I was just about to leave my room when i passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection "fuck!" I quickly grabbed a makeup remover wipe and cleaned my face of smudged mascara and run a brush through my hair.... it was no good,  the hair could not be saved! I quickly tied it up in a messy bun not minding the loose bits that fell out, it would have to do!

The living room was a mess so i closed the door leaving just the kitchen visible. Then i rushed over to let Chris in before he thought id run off and forgotten about him. He followed me through to the kitchen and took a seat at the table while i made us both a coffee.

"How you been? Its been a while since ive seen you" he asked softly.

"I guess it has been.... erm i'm good" i shrugged casually keeping my attention on the mugs as i made the coffee.

"Im glad. Seemed like you disappeared off the face of the planet, you just left. No one heard from you...."

"It was for the best, fresh start and all that"

"Im sorry for how we... how i left things"

I shrugged shaking my head

"you really don't have to apologise Chris, you made a choice...."

"A stupid choice..... i was young and very stupid...."

"Whats done is done, theres no point rehashing it... its been almost 7 years i'm over it" i scoffed picking up the mugs and joining him at the table.

"You are?"

"Of course!"

"Thats great" he nodded avoiding eye contact.

"Okay so spill it.... i don't mean to sound rude but i've got somewhere i need to be soon and i'm already running late....."

"Still cant handle your drink huh?" He finally looked at me smirking.

"Apparently not.... how'd you know?"

"Ive seen you hungover enough to know the signs, the hair and the face full of smudged makeup...."

"you saw that huh?"

"Yeah" he chuckled looking me over.

"So....."

"Right... i um....i need you to sign this" He said reaching inside his jacket and pulling out some papers.

"Sign what?..... what could you possibly need me to sign?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he pushed the papers across the table to me. I leaned forward to get a better look and the first thing my eyes landed on... "Petition For Divorce".

I felt my heart start to race as i looked up at Chris..... "what is this? I signed these 7 years ago Chris!"

"I know. I never filed them"

"What?! you mean we're still married?!"

"Yeah"

"Why? You told me you'd take care of it all...."

"And i was gonna, but i couldn't bring myself to do it"

"Jesus christ Chris!"

"Im sorry Y/N" he started to say but I shook my head as i got up to get a pen, when i sat back down and signed them without hesitation Chris made this noise, like i had offended him by signing the divorce papers without an argument.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just you signed them pretty quickly...."

"Chris, i signed these 7 years ago when i loved you.. why wouldn't i sign them again? There's no reason not to..... what we had has been over for years"

"I just thought maybe somewhere down the line we'd work things out"

"I didn't. Any thoughts of us working out ended when you broke up with me because your career was taking off and you liked the attention from all the girls"

"I was an idiot i know, i was just a kid...."

"Bullshit! If you were old enough to get married....you were old enough to know what you were doing".

He looked down shaking his head again, he actually looked ashamed of how he had acted. Maybe he had grown up.

My phone started ringing and i saw my mom's name flashing on the front.

"Hey mom..... oh god, yeah okay.... i'll be there in like 15 minutes i promise" i hung up after saying goodbye to her.

"Im sorry, but i've got to go. You got what you wanted" i shrugged pointing at the papers on the table, he folded them neatly and tucked them back inside his jacket.

"Thank you"

"Can i ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Why now? You didn't bother for 7 years"

"Ive been seeing someone..... its getting kinda serious now...."

"Right, i get it. Your ready for a new wife...." i shook my head suddenly feeling very sad about my past life with Chris "i didn't even get the chance to be your wife.... not really. That ain't worth shit" i pointed towards his jacket where i knew the papers were.

"Its not like that Y/N i swear, i just.... i want the option to be there if the time comes"

"Well i hope it works out better for you this time. Look i have to go......"

"Right okay, sorry. I'll get out of your way" he got up quickly and followed me through the kitchen and to the front door.

"It was good to see you, make sure you file those this time" i said as he walked towards his car.

"You got it, it was great seeing you too" he smiled before getting in his car and driving off.

"Hey Ma!" I called walking into my mom's house.

"Your late" she called from the sofa, i made my way to her and dropped down next to her.

"I know im sorry, you'll never guess who just turned up at my house??!"

"Who?"

"He who shall not be named!" I said quietly, my mom's eyes widened as she gasped "you mean...."

"Yep!" I nodded "turns out we've been married the last 7 years! He never filed.... he came by to ask me to sign them again"

"That boy has some nerve showing up here...."

"Yep"

"Did you sign them?"

"Of course i did"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that" i shrugged "like i told him, i already thought it was done and over with, i haven't seen him in 7 years.... why wouldn't i sign them"

"Sweetheart....." my mom started to say something but was interrupted by the excited yell of 'MOM!" right before a small body crashed into mine.

"Hey buddy" i laughed hugging my baby close "have you been behaving for nana?"

"Yep, i'm always good" he rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around me "i missed you mom"

"I saw you yesterday baby" i chuckled running my hand through his brown hair before kissing the top of his head.

"I still missed you"

"Awww ain't you cute! I missed you too".

"Hey! I thought you liked staying with me? We had so much fun" my mom said trying to act offended but smiled when Mason started laughing.

"We had fun Nana, but i missed my mom" he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and i felt my heart swell with love for my baby boy.... well he wasn't a baby anymore, it was hard to believe he'd be turning 6 in a few days.... how time flies.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

[between-two-fandoms]

Who We Used To Be (Ray/Rose/Trevor)

As told by myself and @thesevenumbrellas tag teaming the whump in the 18+ JatP discord. Sev I swear we operate on the same braincell levels, we do be clowning. @bobbywilsonsupremacy  let us know what you think of this! I know you and I both hardcore ship Raybse.

Cover was created by @thesevenumbrellas​. Please don’t steal it.

This post got long so fair warning.

We wrote this in a discord server over the time span of hours so there’s some mistakes but i’m too lazy to go back and fix it all. Basically we tag teamed on a Raybse Trevor Wilson-centric whump story and can destroy a fandom with a single touch.

You’ll understand once you click the cut.

Don’t Steal Our Writing (but please reblog this to spread it around).

Trauma Time.

major whump warning

(Ren) Okay so if we're gonna be starting at 90's ot3 my children ray/bobby/Rose know that Ray is a panic bi and loves both of these humans very much with his whole ass heart.

(Ren) He takes pictures of his girlfriend and boyfriend while they’re on dates because he wants to capture the moments he was happy the most. Bobby always shed away from the camera burying his face in Rose's shoulder or leaning in for a kiss. Anyways as time goes by Ray notices Bobby's change in behavior. From being his go-happy-trauma boyf to being caught up in the music scene, often out at all hours to parties and label meetings only to come to to sleep on the couch, not even sharing the bed like he used to. It reminds Ray of the time when Bobby was grieving his boys. Ray hates it, but he loves bobby so he pushes his feelings aside to try and arrange more dates for the three of them to go on together.

(Sev) Ray waking up to only Rose in the bed and not Bobby, and it feels too cold in bed without him. So he'll try to call him, because it's 3am and he's supposed to be home and he's not. And Ray remembers what happened to Bobby's bandmates, and he can't admit it out loud but he's worried. Because what if that happens to Bobby? He knows it was a freak accident! What are the odds of it happening again?? But he can't shake that feeling when Bobby doesn't come home at night and Ray stays up all night worrying. Anyway he tries to call Bobby and Bobby doesn't answer. He'll leave loads of voicemails, trying not to be pushy because he knows Bobby doesn't respond well to that. But he's worried. He'll say "hey please call me when you get this." and then ten minutes later try again "hey just text me that you're safe okay?" He can't sleep because Bobby still isn't home. It's 5am. He has to go to work in two hours. Rose keeps telling him to go to bed but he can't.[2:58 PM]Bobby finally texts back. "I'm okay! Was playing with some friends, the gig went over time and then we went to  party." Ray wants to be angry because seriously? No phone calls because he was at a party? But he knows that'll just push Bobby away more!

(Ren) And so Ray has all of these festering emotions that boil down to worry and concern at the core but he's just so scared hes losing Bobby cause he never really had his own family to begin with and then one day when Ray comes home early from a photoshoot he can hear Bobby and Rose fighting over Bobby signing the contract that says he wrote Luke's songs but Ray just hears yelling before he even opens the door with his name thrown into the mix and then he gets even more scared because what if he loses Rose and Bobby? if he lost both of them he'd be destroyed. So he doesnt knock. He doesnt go home. Instead he walks around the city until he was supposed to go home originally and he opens the door and there's a sort of eerie silence in the air.

(Sev) Trevor’s unable to shake the feeling that something terrible will happen to Rose and Ray because he's with them. His entire family were killed in 1 night because he wasn't there with them. So at first he's clingy as fuck to Rose and Ray because what if something bad happens when he's not there? What if what if what if... But as time goes on the thinking flips. Maybe it's the music industry that's the problem. It's these weird connections in his head of if he's too successful, bad things might happen. But he can't quit music like that, he can't give up on Luke's dream. He owes his boys to become successful. So instead he distances himself from Rose and Ray. That way they won't be caught up in whatever bad thing is going to happen to him. He distances himself and he waits for it all to drop. He waits for the universe to punish him again.

(Ren) And the universe punishes Bobby when the tension between him and Rose tightens so much he knows there's no going back from it but he's not admitting to stealing the songs because he didn't. He helped Luke write all of the songs more than Alex and Reggie ever did, staying up late with Luke after fights with his mom and Bobby didn’t want Luke to be alone so yeah, he wrote the songs. Maybe not as much as he claimed but he sure as hell made sure his brother wasn’t alone so that counted for something right? And it did. Until Rose kicks him out of bed because she's pissed he'd even consider stealing music and he cant tell Ray because of the NDA the label got him to sign at a party when he was drunk and the only reason Rose knows about it is because she was there when he signed the damn thing and so Bobby pulls away from Ray because isnt it going to be easier in the long run? If he doesn’t attach himself to Ray who'll just get angry at him like Rose did?

(Sev) It's the guilt that grows inside of him every passing day. They're my songs too he tells himself over and over again. But during the dark nights, three glasses of whisky in when the world is getting hazy... even he can't believe the lies he tells himself. He fucked up Sunset Curve. He fucked up his friends' memories. And now he fucked up the only good thing he'd ever had. Ray texts him nonstop. He doesn't understand why Rose kicked Bobby out and he doesn't understand why Bobby listened. Bobby can't take Ray away from Rose. He's fucked up and a terrible person, but even he can't do that. He doesn't give Ray his new address. He refuses to meet up even for Ray to give him his stuff back. All Bobby can do is hold onto Ray's sweatshirt he stole away and a bottle of perfume the same brand Rose always wears. He cradles these things in his arms and cries.

(Ren) And that's the last he sees of Ray for all of 5 years, 20yr old puppy-dog eyed loving precious ray who Bobby would run to the second Rose says its okay. But rose never does. And then Bobby meets a cute blonde and six months later the barista shows up on his doorstep shoving Carrie into his arms calling her a bastard child. Carrie is not a bastard child Carrie is his and he loves her the second he sets eyes on her and so Bobby turns into Trevor when the new year rolls around and he starts his own album. It doesn’t do as well as Luke's his first album did but it was his. And then one day Trevor signs Carrie up for dance because Trisha from first grade made fun of her for not being able to do the splits and on the way out of the dance studio Trevor bumps into Ray, a terrified looking girl clutched to his leg. Carrie doesn't miss a beat. "Hi! I'm Carrie let's be friends!" and Carrie drags Ray's daughter off and Trevor shifts awkwardly and is suddenly 17 again but Ray's eyes still twinkle like the did when they were kids and he's still wearing eyeliner so Trevor almost missed it when a flicker of recognition crosses Ray’s face and a smile quirks at the corners of his lips and he says, "hi im Ray, thats my daughter Julie. Wanna go out for a drink?" With that same mischievous glint in his eye that made Bobby fall in love with him in the first place.

(Sev) Trevor almost stops breathing. He should say no. He knows he should say no. He's an awful person. He doesn't deserve someone like Ray. He never deserved either of them. He knows that. But can't force himself to say no. Maybe it's the twinkle in Ray's eyes. Maybe it's the soul crushing loneliness he's felt ever since he left them. Or maybe it's the way Carrie and Julie are giggling in the corner like they've known each other all their lives. He says yes. The drink ends up at a family friendly restaurant with both the girls in tow.

(Ren) Rose shows up because Ray the asshole apparently texted her while he was in the car saying he met one of Julie's friend's parents and wanted to go out on a date (keeping things pg ofc) aklsdf. And when Rose does show up Trevor sees how... sick she looks. How much paler she looked than she did all those years ago how - he still knew he loved her even if she still decided she hated him.

(Sev) The mood drops quickly. Trevor wants to ask about Rose, but not in front of the kids. Ray wants to ask about their past, but not in front of the kids. Rose... Rose who holds all the answers... doesn't know where to start first. She had never regretted not telling Ray the truth. She never wanted to change Ray's perception of Bobby like that. Ray who looked at their boyfriend as if he'd hung the moon. Ray who stayed up worrying all night until Bobby came home. Ray who held Bobby through countless nightmares... But that makes the truth staring them in the face so much harder. Because she never gave Ray the choice. She realized that a few years too late after she catches Ray staring at old pictures of Bobby in their photo albums. She'd made the choice for him. And then there's Trevor... still beautiful, staring at her with so much concern her heart breaks all over again.

(Ren) The tension doesn't fly over Carrie's head like he hoped it would, she talks to Julie about My Little Pony and Pokemon and High School Musical and their mutual hatred for Trisha from school but Carrie's hand never lets go of his and he finally plucks up the courage and stretches his arm out and says "we're vegetarian for the most part, hope that's okay." And a smile quirks at the corner of her lips and she asks "for the most part?" and Trevor nods and Carrie pipes up from her seat saying "daddy hates hot dogs,” in that blatant fact kind of way kids say things without realizing how problematic it could be. It wasn’t her fault though, Trevor has yet to tell her about her uncles, about how he was in a band, about how they were going to be legends.

(Sev) Rose and Ray both freeze at Carrie's voice. He doesn't know if the girls notice, because he's too busy trying to fight back the panic in his throat. It's been a long time since anyone had brought up ... what happened. It's easy to pretend it didn't happen when his name is Trevor and no one knows him. But these two people know him. They know him more than anyone else ever has. Even the boys. The truth hits him hard at that moment. A truth he'd been avoiding for almost two decades. Ray and Rose know him better than even he knew himself. Maybe that was why Rose had been so furious with him, or why Ray continued to chase after him even months after he moved out. Trevor hides the building panic and sudden realization with a smile. "What an I say," he said as causally as he can. "I'm a picky eater." A few hours later they end up back at the Molina's house. Bobby has no idea how it happened. -No, Trevor has no idea how it happened, he scolds himself. He's Trevor. He has to be Trevor. Trevor got him this far, Trevor made the difficult choices. Bobby was the one who got his friends kill and destroyed the best relationship he ever had. Still, it becomes harder and harder to remind himself of that. To stop himself from slipping into the comfortable shoes of Bobby, boyfriend of Ray and Rose as if the past 17 years had never happened. He finds himself on their sofa, a sofa that brings back memories both good and bad... he finds himself in a familiar home, his old studio just a short walk away, his ex's giggling in the kitchen as they make his coffee the way he's always liked it without asking for a reminder.

(Ren) Trevor can remember the day he stopped drinking the coffee Ray made for him, the morning after his first fight with Rose, when he wakes up cold because Rose basically cocooned herself around Ray's body, keeping her back turned to him and as much as he wanted to reach out to Ray, to hug him and comfort him and tell him it was all going to be okay... everything was too stuffy and too tense and deciding he just had to leave because he was going to suffocate otherwise.

(Sev) He should leave, just like last time. What was he even doing here? He should take Carrie and- Then Ray's in front of him, pushing a hot cup into is hands. "The girls are playing upstairs," he says. His voice is so calm, so understanding. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Trevor almost laughs. Because that's so like Ray. Almost a decade without answers and he's giving Trevor the option to ignore it all. To pretend like nothing ever happened. But he can't be that selfish again. So he shakes his head. "I'd... like to talk to you... to both of you."

(Ren) And then suddenly rose is eyeing him sus but he's been putting this off for to long and honestly fuck his label because they screwed him over one too many times for him to still even consider their relationship anything other than employee-client1[4:06 PM]and so Trevor takes a sip of Ray's coffee holy shit how did go so long without it?! and he explains it. he explains everything.

(Sev) Ray doesn't speak as Trevor explains. He never interrupts or even look surprised. His face is completely unreadable. He doesn't move until Trevor's done. And then once he is, he only stands up to start pacing the room. Trevor's oddly reminded of Alex as he does so,  and the memory is enough to make him flinch. "This... this is what you two have been hiding from me for so long?" he asked, voice brittle. "This is... this is what cost us... I mean..." But he can't finish. Ray just shakes his head, back to both Rose and Trevor.

(Ren) Suddenly he's seventeen again. Seventeen and a mess in Ray's arms burying his face into the man's chest finally feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders and suddenly Rose is hugging him from behind, her too-skiny bone arms snaking around his chest and hugging him tightly threatening to never let him go saying "amour," and pressing a kiss to the back of his head, "amour we never stopped loving you."

(Sev)It's like no time has passed by the time he's done crying his eyes out. They're all huddled on a sofa that was always too small for three. Trevor's in the middle, clutching at them both as if they're going to disappear on him. Ray sits with his legs underneath them, his arms pulling the both of them into his chest. And then there's Rose, suddenly so much more delicate than Trevor remembers. She sits half on his lap, curled into them, her fingers knotted in his hair. "I can't believe you two kept this from me," Ray whispers. There's no anger. He doesn't think Ray's ever been capable of being angry. "I'm sorry," Trevor whispers, throat raw from tears. Ray answers with a firm kiss to his temple. "We wasted so much time..."

(Ren) Trevor just lays between them in their bed, nothing sexual and nothing tense it’s just them being together and Rose playing with his now-long hair, braiding it right down the middle despite it being too long for others to braid. Her fingers feel nice as they tug at his roots, familiar and a sense of calm washes over him. He lets ray fop on top of him like they used to, burying his head in his chest just listening to his heart beat, his steady constant breathing because Ray used to be afraid one day he'd wake up and Bobby would be dead too. Rose humming lightly, soft lullabies that chased away dark thoughts and Trevor just finds it so comforting, a feeling of home he hasn't had since the day he left and so he wraps his arms around Rose and Ray tight, promising himself he won't screw up his second time around.

(Sev) It's a few hours later when he speaks again. The girls are asleep in Julie's room (delighted at their surprise sleepover.) Ray's almost nodded off, head resting against Trevor's chest. But Rose is wide awake. She's laid out, tangled between them, eyes focused on something far away. He can see it more clearly now. The tremble in her hands, the way she's so still, the circles around her eyes. He takes her hand in his. "What is it?"

(Ren) And Trevor wants it to be a prank, he wants the sinking feeling in his gut twisting around his heart, the same feeling he had the morning of Sunset Curve's Orpheum performance coiling up his spine to go away. He wants everything to be okay, that he told the truth, that he was forgiven, that the universe was finally on his side for once but of course it's not because when has it ever been.  Rose's fingers run lightly over his knuckles and Ray wraps his arm around him from behind, his hands resting against Trevor's chest, something solid for him to focus on and as a tear starts to roll down Rose's cheek he reaches up to brush it away, running his hand through her hair only to pull out a clump as he pulled away but he couldn't run when his instincts to run kick in like they always used to do when situations turned emotional, bury it in his mind and lock up his worries like he always did but this wasn't going to be something he could run from.

(Sev) Life is not the fantasy or a fairy tale. There are no happy endings, only happy moments. He'd like to say they picked up right where they left off, Rose lived until a ripe old age, and they never fought again. But he'd be lying. It was hard to fold their lives back into place again, especially with Carrie and Julie. To just pick up after their seventeen year old selves was an impossible dream. But they could do breakfast. And breakfast became dinner. Dinner became one date which became two which became many. It took trouble and care, but they slotted themselves back into each other's lives again. There were lunch dates, and movie nights. There were late night wine dates and early morning coffee dates. They found their happy moments. A decade of separation had smoothed out the rough edges. If Trevor stormed out after a harsh argument, he'd return the next day with flowers and apologies. If Rose snapped and lost her temper, she'd take herself off for a walk to cool down. If Ray was bothered by something, he'd speak up instead of pushing it all down. They found their happy moments. And when 1 month became 1 year, they celebrated with moving boxes and a new, bigger couch. When 1 year became 2, they celebrated with promise rings and whispers of a better future between light kisses. 3 years became 4, became 5, and so on... They found their happy moments. But life is not a fantasy or a fairy tale. Their story ends in a hospital. Rose dies with both her husbands at her side, with both her daughters and son clutching on her hands. She dies with a smile on her face, knowing she is not leaving them to suffer alone. Ray and Trevor grieve together.

(Ren) And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. They stick to their daughters through the worst of it but they don’t let the girl’s fighting rip into them too. It’s not what Rose would’ve wanted for them, it’s not what she would’ve wanted for Julie or Carrie either.

(Sev) And when Julie plays with her ghost band, it's much earlier that Trevor recognizes who she's playing with.

(Ren) Luke’s mad at first, ofc he is but after everything is explained and out in the open Trevor finds himself at home in a building that never felt like home despite the fact he grew up in it.

[milfmacbeth]

hello i am first-only but tumblr rawdogged my main during purge times so this is technically a side blog even tho i cant access the main :) anyway, a quick barrage of fandom related get-to-know-you asks because thats why we're here: what would you say is your all time otp that has a special place in your heart? what ship/character was the focus of the best (or most special to you) fic youve ever read (and which is that 👀)? do you still ship your first fandom ship? whats the hardest tumblr has screwed up your experience - of fandom or just.. the site itself being a Mess? (ok that last one might be thematic lkfhjs)

hi!! <3

first of all, have an F in the chat for your blog. this our home truly deserves the title of hellsite.

thanks for all the questions! (this is going to be long, rambly, and slightly horny)

what would you say is your all time otp that has a special place in your heart?

all time otp? not sure i'm ready for that kind of commitment. currently eating my brain? jonelias from the magnus archives.

it's one of those unhealthy and fucked up beyond measure ships, rife with power dynamics and manipulation (you know, the good shit), and it's got so much potential (potential that was utterly wasted by canon, mind you). if you're familiar with hannibal, it's a very similar dynamic to hannigram (and by 'very similar' i mean the venn diagram is a fucking circle except the 'feeding on people' part is not quite so literal).

elias is a manipulative bastard who's pulling all the strings but jon is practically a demigod and that makes for such an interesting power dynamic! and not to be an eliasfucker on main, but (spoiler) i would absolutely, willingly let him use me to bring about the apocalypse. rip to jon but i'm different. couple that with the fact that i have a huge voice kink and both jon and elias have excellent voices, and you've got yourself a ship i'll be screaming about for quite some time.

what ship/character was the focus of the best (or most special to you) fic youve ever read (and which is that 👀)?

i have read so many good fics but the one that comes to mind is find your way by moonlight by blackkat (link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11737710/chapters/26449809)

it's a naruto vampire au (which might not sound like High Literature but hey, we're here to have a fun time, not a pretentious time). it's fairly obito-centric, has some excellent world-building, some very good smut, the perfect mix of fluff and angst, and it's funny. (it's also abandoned, which i'm sad about but i'll get over it)

one of the main reasons why i like it though, is that it has kept me reading. what you need to know about me is that i have the attention span of a drunk toddler. one shots are my friend and even though i pick up 1000 page doorstoppers on the regular, i'm a slow reader and i genuinely dread reading fic that's longer than maybe 30k. so for me to devour this 135k monstrosity in a weekend is some black magic fuckery and i don't know how i did it but i'm glad i did.

do you still ship your first fandom ship?

yes.

i don't even know what my first fandom was, so i'm going to go with the first piece of media i remember getting well and truly obsessed with: pirates of the caribbean. first ship (of many) was elizabeth swann/jack sparrow. i was like twelve and i didn't ship it in the go-look-up-fic-and-art fandom sense (i barely even knew what fandom was back then) but i did ship it in the fantasize-about-it-an-unhealthy-amount sense. i like it to this day and that one scene in dead man's chest where she kisses him to distract him from being handcuffed to the mast so he can't escape the kraken, after which he smirks and lovingly hisses "pirate" Awakened something in me that has yet to go to sleep. in conclusion, it is the year of our lord 2021 and i'm still potc trash, a franchise that hasn't been good in 14 years.

whats the hardest tumblr has screwed up your experience - of fandom or just.. the site itself being a Mess?

i'm pretty sure being on tumblr has given me irreparable brain damage. apart from discourse, my behated, i think the sheer awareness of fandom as a thing has soured some experiences. what i mean is that fandom is an option, not a necessity. you can watch a movie, have fun for 2h, and then never think about it again. you can just casually like things without posting about them all day every day. i guess i'm trying to remind myself of that.

other than that, the worst (best?) thing tumblr did to my fandom experience is give me a massive inferiority complex because everyone is on here writing eloquent literature analysis essays about themes and symbolism whereas i'm just like: there are characters... some of them are hot... some of them are important...

(tagging you just in case @first-only)

[hwajin]

disclaimers: this is f!reader angst, expect nothing from me i have bad grammar and im mentally drained. tnx -lorelei/🥟

* minho made an update as i was writing.

心做し (224) ft. 이민호

day 1

to say the least, you were annoyed. too annoyed at the fact you couldn't concentrate in the first day of class. "you should really talk it out with him." jeongin said at you with a concerned look. "i'm not angry i just, hate being second all the time. c'mon ayen, you know that since the first day we became friends."

you were once y/n, the transferee girl. you sat beside jeongin on your first day, who thought you looked cute on your first day.

coincidentally, you liked his friend. a senior who was named minho. assuring to yourself and jeongin that it was nothing more than a crush was the hardest part. being drunk at a party and confessing to him had become what you quote "the best thing i've ever did".

after class ended, you decided to stick with jeongin who became class president and now is tasked to clean the classroom. why were you there? you really trusted him, a lot and as a friend.

"hyung!" jeongin called out to your supposed boyfriend who was walking toward your classroom.

"y/n-ah, bubs, cutie" he said, ignoring the male and rushing to give you a warm hug. "if you feel less, remember i love you so much. today tomorrow forever, remember?" he told you and you just stood there, uncertain how to react.

"y/n you should go home, i'll be waiting for seungmin too." jeongin said with a warm smile, looking at your annoyed face that contrasts minho's neutral face.

for some reason, you and minho walked home not even talking. "i'm-" "please dont remind me again." you coldly said. "i'll make it up to you. iced coffee?" he asked as you shrugged, thinking of your answer but your heart said yes after a second he asked the question.

"i'm super sorry i've been insecure." you muttered while intertwining both your arms. "no big deal. remember that she's a friend." he said as he rubbed your fingers.

you've never really been anyone's first choice, in middle school you never really had a permanent set of friends that treated you like a friend. you were always rejected and your parents never really cared for you as much as other parents do. you knew you grew up quickly, and you're trying to fix yourself as much as you can.

"oh look, the theme park is open today." he said, pointing outside to the moving ferris wheel. "come on, we are fixing the blue, making it color yellow." he said while dragging you outside the coffee shop as you silently drink your coffee.

he put your bangs down slightly, smiling at what he did and ruffles your hair softly. "my y/n is so cute. she's pretty, nice and she is the first person in my mind. "

"minho?" there she was, the girl you hate the most. minho's first love. his family loves her that sometimes you get compared to her. you knew of her existence, unsure if she knew yours though. "ah this must be your new girlfriend!"

noticing your uneasy gazes, minho spoke up. "hi, yeah and we're leaving." he said. "i really don't know where the entrance is, can i come with you? i'm meeting up with my friends." she pouted as you nodded.

"yeah, you're y/n, super cute. minho and you were together since last year? congrats!" she asked and minho was the one to answer. "yeah, here's the entrance to the theme park." he scoffed and held your hand tighter while you walked towards the ferris wheel.

day 2

the next day, you had to bring it up to jeongin and seungmin, people you trusted the most. "yeah its kinda like in a teasing way, i absolutely hate it. its like she wants to punch me in the face and move me out of her way!"

"oh my god, never be a punch bag you can move around." jeongin said. "i'm not a punchbag!" you said in an enthusiasic tone "Y/N ISNT A PUNCHBAG." seungmin accidentally said too loudly, causing the librarian to look and he bowed his head to say sorry. "my bad." he said and the three of you laughed quietly.

day 94

and, you knew it was coming.

after months, she always found a way to be closer to him. after all, she did know him better. while losing time for you, he remembered all the points on why she was his first love after all.

"minho... please dont hurt me anymore mentally. if you want to break up with me, im sorry. i dont know. i just feel too conflicted. i... hate this so much. i want to die. " was the first words you said as he opened up to your door. "i love you y/n." "its always i love you y/n, i love you y/n, fuck do you even mean them?! words aint enough, atleast spend some time with me. i... absolutely hate this."

collapsing to his arms, he felt his tears rushing down his cheeks. "i never knew you felt like that." he said as he caressed your hair. "now you know." you said, as he kissed your tears away. "can we move somewhere else?" he asked, talking about the awkward position you have on the doorway that made you smile.

day 156

"wow, it's snowing!" you said as you tugged minho's arm. "babe, please pay attention to me." you say to your boyfriend over and over again, who has been focusing on his project. you knew it was hard for him, but it was a sunday. and it was a group project. "you done your part yesterday-" "let me finish this first." he said with a scary tone, realizing what he said he decided to let it be for a few moments.

why am i being like this? he asked himself, looking at his girlfriend. his girlfriend, he reminded himself. perhaps he forgot? is his first love comig back to his life?

day 183

"and... thats what i knew. " you said over and over again. "y/n..." "stop messing around with me! you knew i couldve told hwang hyunjin from class c that! i couldve told your friend jisung, i had a crush on them too, but i chose you, and i never regretted it for, one and a half year. you dont even remember our anniversary? could you just ever..." you said, walking away.

"but i wasn't your first choice either." he spit out, and that made you get very angry. "what about now? who is your first choice now, my first choice now would be you. after that day i confessed it became you, i didnt even force myself to. it was because, you were minho i loved. can i... get him back. but fuck no, you played me." you said, and he breathed in and out.

after hours of silence, you left your phone, he noticed. opening the chats and backreading everything, that was the time where indeed he was wrong, he was wrong in all aspects. he never says sorry, its always her. and his phone rang, it was the girl again. he felt a jolt in his heart reading her name, butterflies in his stomach, but he knew there was y/n.

"ah fuck, this is all my fault."

day 192

a week or so since you havent gone to school, thats when you realized your mom cared and told you advice, went online shopping with you. its just that you always view everything negatively.

"someone wants to see you." she said, you hoped it was minho who would tell you sorry.

"y/n... its jeongin and seungmin. i have notes here compiled, even though im from another class. jeongin has english here, are you fine? " they asked while you explained everything.

day 194

deciding to go to school although minho was there was a bad thing. the day consisted of you being mentally unstable, and that wasnt the cherry on top.

"why are you here?" you said once you went out the school campus. "because, i want to. iced coffee?" again, blindly saying yes.

day 200

if you love her, dont be nice anymore. chanted in your head, but cant be said.

" why are you so nice, i know you've fallen out of love. " and he smiled as he looked again at the movie.

"minho. please, give me closure. stop being nice. treat me like a servant. swear at me. tell me im a bitch, whore, i dont know degrade me! please leave my heart alone, i cant cry anymore."

and so he thought for a moment, i cant do that.

day 210

holding you close again while you violently react, he caressed your face softly. tracing each feature and wiping your tears.

screaming, crying, like the storm. but he still held you up, like how he does to you everytime. "it's fine now."

day 224

"if i had a hole in my heart, how do i fix it?" she asked him, the man who she hasnt talked to in 2 weeks. "you've known what it is." he replied subtly.

"its not today tomorrow forever anymore huh. two day, two morrow and four ever. and its feb 24. fucking want to collapse or you just hit me and degrade me like what i said." and you watched him shake his head. "you cant split a heart into two and think it would still work, cant you?"

"but, you can break one into pieces and then they'd pretend its fine." she says with a bitter smile. "please be happy." and those words, those simple words were the confirmation. it was such a bitersweet love, everyone finds their way out of this somehow.

oof wait a minute i gotta read this later I DON'T HAVE TIME RN BUT EVERYONE GO READ

[dog-teeth]

no offence but if home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked i can't remember ii cant remember and I want it so bad id shoot the sunshine into my veins i can't remember the good old days

[leelee10898]

Chikara: Itami (4/?)

Summary: Ellie has been saved, but how will the events of the attack effect her? Meanwhile in California, the brotherhood makes another move. The word Itami, roughly translates to pain.

Catch up HERE. As always if you'd like added to the tags, let me know. Also I apologize in advance, tumblr apparently hates the read more feature stil....

Raiting: Mature. Series contains Violence, language, death and Lemons..

Compton, California….

Ximena slipped out to her red SUV, she had it painted to try to throw the brotherhood off her trail. The night Jason was arrested she took off for Compton. An old friend had a house she could crash and lay low for a while, the only person who knew her whereabouts was Colt. With him showing up she would need to put some effort in relocating again, keeping the trail Cold. A quick trip to the 24 hour market for some groceries and she was headed back to her safe house. Not a soul in sight she slowed to a stop at the sign and signaled right. Suddenly a car with no lights came out of nowhere plowing into her car, sending it spinning around 3 times before coming to a stop.  

[[MORE]]

Ximena hit her head on the window, her body jostled around from the collision. She tried to turn the engine over to no avail. Fuck she growled, reaching for her baseball batt she kept tucked away in the back seat. She could make out two figures stepping out of the vehicle  behind her. She quickly assessed her surroundings, her only vantage point was her car stopped crooked, her passenger side a blind spot. She carefully climbed into the passenger seat, quietly opening the door and slipping out.

"Hester warned us about her, she's tough. Stay alert." She heard one of them say as she stayed hidden in the shadows. Come on. Come on. Just a little closer. she thought to herself. "The doors open, she's gone. Check the alley." The other man spoke, as she heard footsteps approaching. Lucky for her, he passed by where she was standing. Once he turned to leave she jumped out from behind the dumpster, swinging the bat at the man, he hit the ground with a thud. She took off running towards her car, the other man on her tail. He lunged at her, grabbing her waist. He was larger than her, not giving her much advantage she struggled against the man finally wriggling free. "You son of a bitch." She swung her arm, the man ducking and landing a blow to her side.

Ximena clutched her side, fire raging through her veins, "big mistake asshole." She reached out grabbing the thug by this neck, bringing her free hand up to punch him in the jaw. The man struggled against her as She backed him up against the wall, pushing him up against it with force, knocking him out cold.  Rushing to her car she climbed in the passenger side, settling behind the wheel. "Come on. Come on." She grunted turning the key, as the engine sputtered. She noticed the other man emerging from the alley way, wielding a baseball bat. Finally the engine roared to life, the man jumped in front of the car, ximena clipped him with the passenger side,  sending him flying backwards.

She picked up her phone, frantically searching for a number.  "Colt. Its ximena, i'm on my way to you.. and your plan, I want in."

New York……

Ellie laid in the hospital bed, still unconscious. The nurses and doctors had left the room, leaving only Nick and her. After answering numerous questions by hospital staff and the cops, he was finally given permission to see her. When Ellie told him she was leaving the party, he was so caught up in the fact she put him in the friendzone, then worry about her safety. After a moment to compose himself, he mentally reprimanded himself for allowing a beautiful girl like herself to walk home alone, and so he set out to trail behind her. He only found her as she darted into a dead end alley, a figure following behind her. By the time he had reached her, she laid barely conscious as he grabbed the assailant off of her, and beat him until he passed out. He called 911 reporting the incident, and Ellie and the assailant were taken to the hospital.  

He was able to get into her phone and give the hospital her dads number. His memory reaching back to the image on her wallpaper, the boy with the leather jacket, dark hair and eyes, his arm wrapped around her waist. He knew he must have been something special to her, the fact made him a little jealous.  He stood next to her bed "Ellie, I need you to wake up. I need you to be ok." He spoke as he noticed her hand started to move. Slowly she opened her eyes, an audible gasp escaped her as she began to panic. "Ellie. Ellie, hey its ok you're ok." She looked over to Nick, relief and confusion on her face. "Nick? Where. Where am I? She whispered. "You're at the hospital, do you remember what happened?" She nodded her head, lifting her arm that was free from wires and iv lines to the back of her head.

"The brotherhood." She whispered.  Nick snapped his head to look at her "what did you say?" A nurse walked in "oh miss wheeler, glad you're awake. Im Nadia, I'll be the nurse taking care of you." She walked over assessing her. "Well everything looks good, however they do want to keep you overnight for observation. And there is a couple police officers who would like to speak to you." Ellie nodded as the nurse left the room, a minute later tow officers walked in.

"Hello miss Wheer, im officer grubbs. This is officer Davis" he motioned to the man standing next to him.  "we would like to ask you a few questions about what happened."

Ellie began to tell them how she had left a party to walk home by herself, when she was followed and cornered in an alley and then attacked by the man. "I see, and do you know the person who attacked you, had you ever seen him before?" Ellie shook her head "No. He said that Jason Shaw sent him to get rid of me. I have never seen him before tonight."

Officer Davis approached her "Had you been drinking at this party?" Ellie looked at the officer shocked.  "I had one cup of punch, hours before I left the party."

"So you're saying your judgment could be clouded by Alcohol consumption. " Davis smirked slightly.

"No. I'm saying that man followed me into an alley with every intention to kill me." Ellie bagam to tear up, frustrated by the turn of events.

"Kill is such a strong word. Were there any witnesses? The way we're told is you two have a history and your jealous boyfriend here stepped in while he was trying to save you."

"Davis!" Officer Grubbs warned.

"No. That's not what happened at all. I don't know him." Ellie sobbed.

Nick stood up from his chair "Hey, that asshole was attacking my friend.  He's the one you should be grilling, not Ellie."

Davis laughed out "ok casanova, calm yourself."

"I'm sorry miss wheeler if this had upset you. I have your statement, he will see a closed circuit judge." Grubbs spoke with a soothing voice.

"What. What will happen to him?" Davis gave her a  wicked smirk, Grubbs more sympathetic.

"He will be charged with assault, however he already has someone trying to post bail."

"B- bail? No. No no no, He's working for the brotherhood. Jason Shaw sent him to kill me. Check the FBIs wanted list, you cant let him go." Ellie sobbed out.

Davis gave her a smirk and walked out the door, in that moment she knew he was in their pocket. Grubbs walked up placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Im sorry Ellie, the best advice I can give you is to file a no contact order against him. I wish there was more we could hold him on." He gave her a sad smile and walked out the door.

Ellie began to panic, Jason wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted, revenge on her for taking him down. "My dad. I need to call my dad." She tried to get out of bed. "Hey, hey calm down Ellie. The hospital called your dad, he's on his way here." Nick assured her as he wrapped his arms around her small shaking frame. "Ellie, it's going to be ok. It's all going to be ok." Nick assured her in a soothing voice, calming her down. Something about the way he spoke was so familiar and she realized it was the same reassuring, soft tone Colt took with her it made her heart ache.

They sat there like that for a while, until the nurse came in telling them they were moving Ellie to a bed in the main hospital and Nick had to leave. That night Ellie struggled to find a good night's sleep, she tossed and turned until exhaustion took over.

Jason looked at her,  a maniacal smile that bared his teeth, chilling her to the bone. "I told you Ellie, Do as I say and nobody gets hurt. It's a shame you didn't listen."  Colts limp body sat hunched over in the chair, clinging between life and death. She tried to scream but her voice failed her, instead she sobbed out a pleading cry as he sauntered over to Colt. "Please. Please no." She managed to get out. "Such a sweet, innocent little thing still.  To bad that delicate skin is going to be your undoing. Say bye bye to lover boy." Jason lifted his hand pulling the trigger.

"Colt….." she Jerked up in bed, screaming as a constant flow of tears streamed her face. She looked around the room,  still in the hospital, alone. No Jason, no Colt, just her completely and utterly alone. The events of the past day wearing her down, He was supposed to keep her safe,  he told her going to Langston would keep her safe and it didn't. He failed to keep her safe, and he failed to do what he promised he would, Love her. Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft rapp at the door. A petite brunette nurse peeked her head in. "Ellie, Its early and we usually don't allow visitors at this hour, but someone wants to see you." Her eyes landed on her dad, he quickly crossed the room throwing his arms around her.  "Oh Ellie. Oh thank god you're ok." He breathed a sigh of relief. "Im ok. She flinched, her body sore from the attack. "If something happened to you Ellie, I don't. I don't know what I would do."

"Im alive." Her tone with a hint of harshness to it. She was angry at Colt for his failed promises,  it wasn't until her father came that she realized she was angry at him too.

"What's wrong Ellie? You seem a little angry." Her dad pulled back, sensing her tone. She sat there, silent for a moment he expression unreadable. "Why didn't you tell me Jason wasn't in jail?"

Her dad, caught off guard by her question doubled back. "Ellie…"

"Dad! Why didn't you tell me?" She demanded.  She was angry, much more than she thought.

"I. Was just trying to protect you." His voice soft, maybe a hint of shame in it.

"Right, because I'm this delicate little flower that everyone thinks cant handle the tough stuff." She scoffed.

"I wanted you to focus on school. The farther you were from this, the safer. " her father reached for her hand, she pulled it back quickly. "Well, look how well that worked out." She rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty tired dad. I think im going to get some rest. You should go get some sleep too. I'll see you later."  Her dad looked at her with a sadness that screamed heartbreak but he nodded anyway. "Ok. Get some sleep, I love you Ellie." He leaned over giving her a soft kiss. "Love you too, dad."

Once the door closed she tossed herself on the bed.  Jason's words from her dream running through her head. Too bad that delicate skin is going to be your undoing. She was soft, everyone seen her as a softie who needed saving, who couldn't get the job done. She was weak, meaningless and useless and that had to change. As she laid there she felt the darkness creep over, no longer would she be weak, useless, the girl who always needed saving. She wouldn't allow Jason to pull her puppet strings anymore.  he was going down once and for all, and she was going to be the one to do it. No matter what it took.

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[shineonbubbledy]

Pt. 1

Wendy x Reader

You and Seungwan is now in 3 years in a relationship. But something change in her, she always not in home or go home late, and she reply to your text after several hours.

Your worried, that's why you decided to visit her in her office. While you walked tp the corridor some of her employee greet you with an awkward smiled. You noticed that but you decided to ignore it and continue to walk to Wendy's office.

While you stand in ftont of her office door you inhaled. Opening the the door slowly you was totally in shocked to see Wendy with this girl back hugging her and rest her head on Wendy's shoulder.

"Y/n" Called seungwan who is now very shocked to see you

"Oh, I'm sorry? I guess I disturb your romantic time." You said sarcastically looking to Wendy and you walked out in her office

"Y/n, wait" Wendy called you while running to reach your arms

"Let me explain" she said in watery eyes. You turn around and look to her eyes in a cold gaze.

"It's not what you think! I-its just nothing, we're not in a relationship you are thinking, it's just..." Explained panic Seungwan who doesn't know what to say next

"It's just what?" Asking her in a cold tone

"She's being so clingy to me and I cant, I don't know, I-m, im just"

"Enjoyed?"

"No! I don't! I don't love her Y/n, please"

"You don't love her but you always go home late and you really not going home! Where do you spend your night? One more, you didn't reply to my text or not answering my phone calls, and you what? She just nothing to you? What the stupid excuse Seungwan!!!" You said, this time you can't control your anger you want to say what you feel right now

"I'm sorry"

"Ha! I'm sorry? I guess we should stop this Wendy"

"No! Please, dont! I'm sorry please don't leave me" she said while crying

You don't know what to do. Your mind says you better to stop this but your heart says it's better if you fix this. You love her, you really love her. While you are thinking she hug you and murmured a hundreds of sorry. You back to reality and say to yourself to give her a second chance.

But after a weeks you feel like you being so irritated everytime you two are together. You don't want to to feel this way, because you know you still love her. But you can't control your emotion. Everytime she was near you, your mood suddenly change.

One day, you are at the grocery store to buy some kind of ingredients you needed. And you hear someone called your name in nowhere, you look to the side where the sound is coming from. You shocked when you saw yoyr Highschool friend smiling and running to hug you. You smile back and hug her.

"Y/n how are you?" Joy asking you in a very happy and loud tone

"I'm okay, how about you? You didn't message me anymore when you go to America" you said while pouting. Joy giggled to your reaction

"I'm sorry, I'm very busy in school! College is suck!" She said while rolling her eyes remembering the worsts days in her college life.

"Let's eat together" she said. You agreed and you two go to a restaurant near at the grocery store

You spend your time together that day till night. You missed one another very much. She tell you the things she experienced when she was in abroad. And her life now when she was back at your country.

"She didn't change, she still the Joy I know" you thought

"Let's go home, it's late" she said while smiling. You smiled at her

"Let's go"

-------

You park your car in front of her house.

"Goodbye Y/n, let's meet again next time" she wave her hand and unlock the car door to get out.

- - - - - - - - - -

When you got home. All the lights are now turned off. When you go to your room, you see Wendy sleeping while hugging her olaf toy. You look at her for a second and you go to the bathroom to take a bath and do your routines. After that you go to your bed and thinking about Joy. You're happy. You know your happy cuz finally you saw your highschool friend after a long time.

After a weeks you always spend your time to Joy, you two always eat finner together after your work.

Wendy in the other hand know this things between you and Joy.

She was in her meeting place when she saw you laughing with this girl. Till that day she always hunting you and this mysterious girl.

"Why you don't confront her?" Asking her friend Seulgi

"I-i can't Seul, what if she was getting mad at me and asked me that if I can do it to her why she can't?" She simply answered in a sad face. Seulgi rolled her eyes and feel so sad to her friend.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

You woke up and you smell the pancakes. You sure that Wendy was the one who cook. You get out of your bed and go to the bathroom to do your morning routine. After that you go to kitchen and saw Wendy preparing the foods. You quietly sit at the chair and wait her to sit next to you.

"Good morning y/n" Wendy great you. You just smile and start to eat. Wendy smiled dropped and focus to her pancake. There was a deadly silence between you two. Till Wendy talk first

"Y/n, let's have a movie marathon later." She said, her heart beats so fast

"Alright" You simply replied. She smile big

"I will order a pizza" she said. You nodded and continue to eat your pancake and excuse yourself when your done to prepare to your work.

Past 9 in the evening when you got home. And all the things was ready for the movie marathon

"Oh fuck" you murmured to yourself and look for Wendy

You actually forgot that you and Wendy will have a movie marathon when Joy texted you to meet her at the cafe in 7pm. Ofcourse you two spend you time together while telling her stories about her day

You felt so guilty when you found Seungwan, and says a sorrys because your late. You two still continue your marathon. But Seungwan is hurt. She can't focus on the movie because she knew why you're late. She know you and Joy seeing each other again. She don't want to think of it but she can't. She feel her heart clenching and she wants to cry.

"Y/n, are you happy with her?" She suddenly asked you. Your shocked, you knew she knows about you and Joy. You think for a second and answer her

"Yes" It's true your happy with Joy, but not the kind of happiness you feel with Wendy before

"D-do you love her?" She asked you again while sobbing

"I... guess." You know your lying but you still answer that word.

"Im so sorry y/n, I-i love you, and yeah, I'm... I'm gonna... I will - I will let you go" she said while sobbing

You look to Wendy, when you see her crying, you want to hug her and say that she was wrong, because Joy is your friend only. Your heart clenched, that time you feel that you still love her. But you stop yourself, you thought that maybe you two needed a time to think.

"Thank you" you murmured but you make sure Wendy will hear it. You stand and go to your shared room.

Wendy face palm and cried to her hands. She hurt she can feel her heart broke into pieces. She's not sure if she can move on and continue her life without you. She really love you. She really really do. But she can't blame you nor asking for a chance because she knew you doesn't love her anymore. And think that it's all her fault. That's why she respect your decision and try her very best to forget about you.

Lame. Lame. Lame😂 Sorry this is my first story ever! If my grammar is wrong, I'm so sorry😅

Pt.2? Don't know

Photo by Masternim Maplesyrup