#'oh if you add another extra days it's cheaper :))'

[bunnyb34r]

Two medium, two topping, pizzas should not cost $50 with tip 😭 wtf is this shit

[mod2amaryllis]

we're in Seoul :)

[storiesofsvu]

Love Comes Quietly Ch 7

Alex Blake x reader warnings: language, the usual amount of chaos, more detailed case work/situations involving an unsub and injury/death. Some hurt/comfort with a bit of a bad brain day kinda vibes.

You hadn’t realized just how incredibly weird it was going to feel being home alone in the house all weekend. Alex was gone to the airport before you even woke up on Saturday, leaving you a warm pot of coffee for whenever you did decide to start your day. But aside from that there was not a single thing to tell you that she was around, it just felt like you’d rented an Airbnb from someone. All her dishes had been cleaned and put away, laundry was folded on her bed, the door to her room only left open a crack. She’d been so quiet your plan of being up to say goodbye and give her one last offer of a ride to the airport had been squashed.

Instead you poured yourself a mug of coffee, sliding the glass patio door open as you debated what to have for breakfast. It turned out you didn’t have to worry about making that choice as Emily was at your door less than fifteen minutes later with breakfast sandwiches and honey butter tots from Cracked Eggery. Somehow she’d forgotten coffee, so you refilled the machine to brew a fresh pot while she settled in at the kitchen island, sliding you your preferred sandwich while the tots stayed centered.

“I can see you eyeing the pool already.” You teased with a grin, stealing another tot.

“I’m just saying… it’s supposed to be super nice all weekend and she’s gone til Wednesday.”

“You know you’re allowed to come over when Alex is here, right? And that she’d be fine with you using the pool.”

“So… that means if I happen to have a repurposed go bag in the car we can lounge by the pool all day and do a hot tub wine night?” She practically pouted at you and you laughed.

“Yeah, but after we’ve gone to see these houses.” You drained your coffee, “I can’t keep being a freeloader forever.”

“How are you a freeloader?” Emily’s brow furrowed, nearly furrowing further at the pink tinge in your cheeks as you placed the coffee mugs into the dishwasher.

“Alex… doesn’t make me pay rent.” You shrugged.

“Oh, so you’re already married, I’ll jot that down to remember.”

She winced, knowing there was a well deserved punch coming to her shoulder as you rounded the island.

*

You were wandering through stop number one in Crestwood, $1.05 mil for a 3 bedroom 3 bath, much more space than you needed but you knew you’d figure out what to do with the extra rooms. The realtor had guided you through the main space, walking you through some of the specs and details before letting everyone explore on their own. You’d gotten to the top of the stairs, looking into the main bedroom before glancing back to Emily to find her nose scrunched.

“What?” You asked dryly.

“I absolutely hate how it’s all just one room.”

“We’re in a closed off hallway.”

“No, the main level. Like there’s no privacy or like… ability to make rooms have different vibes. Besides, if you burn something in the kitchen the entire place will smell like burnt.”

“Eh, you make a point there.”

*

Spot number two only took a knowing glance between you and Emily to know that it was a hard pass. You knew you’d prefer a full house but figured you may as well add on some apartments to the list in case you found something cheaper that you loved. The place was cramped, not very stylish, and the elevator had been out of order making you climb up the four stories.

*

Stop number three was a little more enticing, $1.27 for four bedrooms and bathrooms. It was a new construction listing, gorgeous marble in the bathrooms with more space than you really knew what you would do with.

“You’re biting your lip.” Emily murmured with a chuckle, “what’s not to like, aside from how fucking white everything is.”

“That is the downside to all these new places isn’t it?” You asked with a sigh, “it’s gonna sound petty but I wish the front porch was better. Alex’s is perfect, if it’s too sunny for the backyard it’s the perfect place to curl up with a book.” You explained as the two of you wandered onto the back deck.

“There’s little to no privacy here either, look how close the neighbour’s deck is.” Emily replied with a head tilt toward the barely there fence between yards. “Like yeah, it’s nice to know your neighbours when you’re away from home as often as we are but I’d also like to be able to be in my yard and know I can’t be seen.”

“Fair point.” You stepped back inside the house, exploring further into the main level as you’d already done the upper ones.

“And the amount of stairs? I mean isn’t that a little excessive?”

“You know, growing up I always wanted a place with an upstairs, it seemed like it was a rich people thing.” You both laughed, “my place in Boston had one, and I fucking hated it.”

“Get up in the morning, get all the way downstairs only to realize you’d left your phone upstairs?”

“Yeah.” You laughed, “I can’t imagine having to go up two flights every single time I needed to go to the bedrooms. It’s been so nice at Alex’s having everything on one level.”

“Imagine trying to figure out the stairs to the basement while drunk.”

“See,” you laughed, “this is why I made you come with me, you think of all the off kilter things I never would.”

*

“This place is considerably smaller.” Emily pointed out, needing to take only two steps between the living room kitchen combo and the bathroom.

“Yeah but it’s considerably cheaper.”

“You’re really telling me you wanna swap that jacuzzi tub at Blake’s for only a stand up shower?”

“Ugh.” Your nose crinkled. If it wasn’t a hot tub night, you’d been using the luxurious tub to soak in after long weeks away in shitty hotel room beds. As if Emily could read your mind, a grin on her lips as she made her next point,

“Not to mention this one also has no yard. No sunny porch days, and certainly no pool.”

When you glanced up to the smirk on her lips you shot her a glare, but she was right.

*

Your final stop was a $1.2Million three bedroom in Glover Park and upon first glance, there was not much wrong with it. The porch out front was slightly smaller than Alex’s but still adorable, while Emily pointed out, once again, how much white there was inside, you reminded her that a thing called paint existed. The kitchen was stunning, all new stainless steel appliances, and the perfect sized breakfast bar and the entire place got an incredible amount of natural light.

You were tossing back and fourth the idea of putting an offer down with Emily as you toured the place. It was a nice area, it wouldn’t add to your commute, it was still close to both Emily and Alex, who you spent the most of your time with. Even with Emily pointing out that Alex’s place was nicer, you still only left after you’d put down an offer.

*

It was less than three hours later when you got the call that your offer had been outbid, the house being sold to the highest bidder. You let out a groan and Emily simply slid you a can of cider and tugged you into the backyard to spend the afternoon lounging in the sun. Dinner got ordered in and once dishes were taken care of wine glasses were poured and the rest of the evening was spent relaxing in the hot tub until exhaustion got the best of both of you and you retired to bed.

**

When Wednesday rolled around Alex barely had time to make it home from the airport to grab her go bag before you were ushering her out of the house with a homemade breakfast sandwich and full cup of coffee. Emily had called, you had a case and wheels were up in twenty so she really didn’t have a choice but to follow you into your car so you could beat traffic.

She could sense that you were a little on edge, wondering at first if it was just the early call in to work, being the first time you’d be parking and going directly to the jet. But she knew there was something more to it, you had an air of defeat wafting off you and she could tell by how strong the coffee was that you were more than tired. She didn’t want to press into it, but as you were stuck on the freeway she gently asked how your weekend was and you let out a weary sigh. You explained about the housing situation and apologised that you’d be sticking around a little longer to which she simply smiled, squeezing at your arm and reminded you that you truly were welcome as long as you wanted. You talked about the places you’d seen, how you thought your heart was set on the last one you’d been outbid on and everything you looked at online now just didn’t live up to expectations. Though you knew part of that was Emily’s voice in your head pointing out all the flaws or all the amenities that you currently had that the new places didn’t. When you mentioned Emily had stayed over for the weekend Alex chuckled, making a comment about that being why you were so tired. You rolled your eyes, but shot her a tired smile, agreeing that when Em was around you definitely didn’t get as much sleep. Not only would she drag you off on adventures, the woman was a restless sleeper, including talking in her sleep and because you didn’t want to banish her to the couch you’d shared a bed both nights. Alex laughed again, saying that if she was ever away again Emily was welcome to use her bed so you could get some beauty sleep. As you fell back to silence she could tell you were still somewhat dejected, that your optimism was slowly fading and you felt guilty about still being in her space and taking up so much of her life when you’d thought it would only be a few weeks at most.

Your optimism had only one direction to go once you were getting briefed on the jet and that was south. The case was bad, and as it ended up, it was the first one that you got stuck in the field with the unsub and victims. The warehouse was decrepit and had been falling apart for years already, condemned for demolition at an unknown date. Which meant that it went up in flames in a matter of minutes.

Derek managed to take out the unsub after a brief three way scuffle between all of you and the moment you knew he was okay to take the unsub on, on his own, you jumped for the victims. Three of them, all chained to separate pipes on three different walls of the room, you felt relief with the first, your optimism skyrocketing at how easy it was to get them undone and passed off to Derek. As you sprinted across the room to work on the second, your optimism began to crumble, clearly your first vic had been the unsubs last, rushed, messy and unfinished, enough to keep them restrained but not to the full capacity they’d wanted. Flames were dancing through the room, your skin covered in a sheen of sweat, lungs already choking on thick black smoke, your hands slipping on the restraints worse and worse with each second that you tried to undo them as your eyes started to water. You could hear Emily on your earpiece to get the hell out of there and Derek was repeating the same beside you, his hand wrapping around your bicep the moment you got the chain undone and the vic leaped into your arms, sobbing into your shoulder. You could hear the pleading screams of the third victim, attempting to surge in that direction but there was no way you were breaking free from Derek’s grip, his hand tightening around your arm as he dragged you from the warehouse to safety, the screams getting muffled the further you got from them as the sound of the fire engulfed your hearing.

“Please don’t ever fucking do that again.” Emily murmured softly as she wrapped you in her arms, squeezing at you tightly, her words both coming from a best friend and a boss.

“I know.” You mumbled back, relaxing into the hug enough to calm your raging adrenaline but not enough to bring down the mask you needed to keep up.

That was the problem about days like this, once you were cleared by the paramedics it was back to the jet to head home. The jet had zero privacy, so you did what you could, tugging your hoodie tighter around you and curling up into one of the seats in the back corner in an attempt to avoid everyone’s worried stares and questions.

You weren’t sure how you were able to fall asleep, blaming it on the exhaustion of the weekend, but it certainly didn’t last long, jolting awake at the sound of screaming, your body temperature skyrocketing as your eyes stung, blinking open and you realized where you were. You took a couple of deep breaths to try and calm yourself down, your gaze drifting out to the clouds outside the window when you felt someone come up beside you, silently settling in the seat before your eyes flicked to them.

“Coffee?” Alex offered, placing the cup down on the small table.

“Thanks.” You gave her the best smile you could muster and picked up the cup, hoping the caffeine would keep you from anymore nightmares in front of coworkers.

“That hurt?” She asked, fingers delicately brushing your hair off your face so she could get a better look at the forming bruise, the slow swelling of your cheekbone.

“I’ve had worse.” You admitted with a sigh, hiding behind the cup of coffee before your eyes found the window again.

A moment later, Alex’s hand wordlessly found yours, squeezing softly and you felt relief sinking through you. She watched carefully out of the corner of her eye as your shoulders relaxed, her thumb gently stroking over your knuckles to silently remind you that you weren’t alone, that you were safe and that she was there for your.

Her hand didn’t move until the wheels of the jet were back on the tarmac in Quantico.

“You mind if I drive?” She asked and you shook your head, pulling the keys from your bag and tossing them to her. Once settled in the car she switched off the radio, still playing high energy pop from your drive into work and shifted the car into drive, her hand reaching over to briefly squeeze at your thigh before she started driving.

You’d never been more thankful for Alex being home and her being the one to drive you back. You knew you were in no shape to drive right now and if Emily had offered there would’ve been constant chattering, questions, comments, anything to keep you engaged. But this car ride was pleasantly silent, Alex letting you figure things out in your head on your own. It wasn’t that big of a surprise to you, she was a profiler after all, and she’d always been able to read you relatively easy, an extra coffee on your desk on a day she knew you’d slept like crap, Midol left out on the kitchen counter when she knew you were on your period, extra ice cream stashed in the freezer, homemade chicken noodle soup on a day you were just slightly under the weather, before you’d even realized you were sick yourself.

Your elbow was on the windowsill of the car, your chin propped in your hand as you stared out to the blurring streets passing by, praying you wouldn’t get stuck in traffic. Tears were threatening to swim into your eyes already, your brain pulling all the bad thoughts of the week in at once mixed with images from inside the warehouse. You’d already been feeling unsuccessful, a bit of a burden before the case even started, now you were trying to fight the battle in your brain that you didn’t deserve to be on the team. You knew that your reports would match up, that Derek’s would say he drug you out of that building, that Emily would back you, deep down that you made the right call but you knew it was going to eat at you for a while.

“You awake over there?” Alex’s soft voice broke through your thoughts, her hand squeezing at your thigh and you nearly jumped, glancing around to realize you were in the driveway and you nodded, ducking your gaze so she couldn’t see your face.

You dumped your go bag by the door, only bothering to collect your phone before you beelined it to the bathroom. Stripping out of your clothing you turned the shower on, stepping into the stream in an attempt to relax yourself, washing away the day, washing away the smell of smoke, the memories you hoped you’d be able to forget. You welcomed the sensation of this kind of heat on your skin, staying under the stream until it had nearly begun to turn cold and you finally stepped out.

You were thankful for the distance between the sides of the house, able to dart back to your bedroom without being seen. You wrapped yourself in the coziest, warmest pyjamas you could find, tugging a hoodie on over them as you plugged your phone in, making sure it was on silent before you slipped under the blankets and flicked the television on, finding something mind numbing to hopefully distract you and lull you into sleep.

*

Alex heard the shower stop running, glancing in the direction of the hallway, unsurprised when the door clicked open and shortly after your bedroom clicked shut. She let out a soft sigh, she knew what this was like, cases like this, days like this, they were hard. It was your first technical loss as part of the BAU and while she wasn’t completely certain on your history, she was thinking it was likely your first real loss, one that you felt very responsible for. She heard the telltale click of your door again, waiting for a moment for your to appear but it was followed by the rustle of blankets and your television quietly playing. You weren’t ignoring her, but you did want your space and she would respect that.

She spent a bit of time following up on a couple of emails, replied to a couple of texts from Emily before she felt her stomach grumbling. There wasn’t much in the fridge after your last minute case, but she found enough between it and the freezer to make up some chicken fajita bowls, hoping the sounds and smells of food would entice you out of your room. She wasn’t necessarily worried about you, but she cared about you and wanted to make sure that you knew you weren’t going to be held accountable, that you were loved and you were good at your job. So an hour after she finished the dishes, she prepped a couple of things, and grabbed a couple more before wandering down to your door.

*

Your ears perked up at the sound of a very soft knocking at your door, a pause before Alex pushed it open, finding you burrito’d in your blankets on the bed.

“Can I come in?” She asked, a gentle smile on her face and you nodded. She slowly moved through the room, placing down an Uncrustable and a steaming mug of hot chocolate, complete with whipped cream on the bedside table, a matching one in her free hand. “I figured you weren’t up for dinner, but you should eat something. You barely ate breakfast. And I thought maybe some cocoa could cheer you up.”

You didn’t say anything, unsure of what you could to try and properly get your emotions across to a linguist like Alex, but you did push yourself up to sitting, delicately taking the mug off the table to take a small sip. The beverage soothed through your body, warming up the deepest parts of your soul that you didn’t even know could be reached by something made of chocolate and Alex smiled at the way the corner of your mouth briefly twitched up.

“Would you like me to go?” She asked, nodding toward the door and you shook your head, shifting over on the bed so there was proper space for her.

Both of your attention turned to the television, Alex unsurprised that you had Love Island reruns on to distract you as the two of you sipped at your drinks. As soon as she was settled on the bed your head instantly found a home on her shoulder, your body nuzzling into her for relief and her free hand easily slipped into yours once again, squeezing softly. She could feel you attempting to hold back, little sighs or shivers from your body becoming your tell as you tried to ignore them.

An episode later and both your mugs lay empty on the bedside table. Alex heard you sigh, take a shaky breath and her hand finally left yours so her arm could wrap around your shoulders, her lips leaving a feather soft kiss to the top of your head.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it and know that I am absolutely not trying to profile you, or professor you, but what happened today was not your fault. I know that things have kinda been off, that maybe you’re doubting yourself, that to your brain it may feel that way, but it is not, you cannot blame yourself.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, soothing straight into your soul, but it somehow also managed to start to break you.

“Sarah’s parent’s sure can.” You finally spoke, your voice wavering and Alex honestly found herself surprised that you’d spoken.

“No, no they cannot.” She assured with a squeeze, “they will never know the details of what happened in that warehouse. And the person they are to blame is the unsub. You did everything you could. And the parents of those other two girls? They’ll be eternally grateful to you and Morgan.”

“Then why do I feel so fucking inadequate?” You mumbled, burying yourself deeper into her arm and Alex let out a soft sigh.

“Okay, c’mere.” She tugged at you, slipping under the blankets of the bed as she sat against the headboard, urging you between her legs so you were properly nestled against her chest, arms softly wrapped around her as one of hers rubbed up your back, the other still linked with yours. “You had a rough week, you’re overtired, right?”

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled.

“For what?” She asked, brushing the hair off your face.

“You let me crash, I never meant to stay this long but I never thought finding a place would take this long.”

“Please.” She smiled with a small laugh, “you do my dishes, you take out the trash, you’re a help to this household, not a burden, okay?” You nodded but she pinched at your shoulder, “uh-uh, I need to hear it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“I’m not a burden.” You mumbled, taking another shaky breath.

“That’s it.” She smiled, her hand squeezing at yours, “and you are excellent at your job. That is not me bluffing either. I know your phone’s turned off but Emily and Morgan have been texting all night to check in on you and commend how well you did today.”

“I’ve never done something like that.” You admitted with a whisper, your hand quickly coming up to wipe away a tear that finally found its way to escape. “I couldn’t leave her… we were so close…” You trembled in her arms and Alex felt her heart wilt, squeezing at you softly.

“You know it’s okay to cry, right?” Her lips ghosted at your temple and with that encouragement you finally let out the shuddering breath, tears streaking down your cheeks.

Alex held you tighter, her hand softly rubbing up and down your back as you finally let all of your emotions out from the past week. She wished she had something more to say, a better way to comfort you, to let you know that it was all going to be okay, that you were loved, that you were great at your job, that tomorrow would be better. But she didn’t know how to piece it together so she simply held you, letting you get it all out until your breathing finally regulated and she realized you had cried yourself to sleep.

*

Alex felt a warm ray of sun across her face and her brow scrunched. Her room didn’t face the sunrise, the birds chirping outside the window were certainly not outside of hers and for a moment she thought she was still in a hotel room. Then the warmth of your body against hers jolted her conscious awake. You were still very nestled into her side, your arms loosely wrapped around her as you slept peacefully. She glanced up, the television was displaying the ‘keep playing?’ menu on Netflix and the sun was barely streaming through the curtains. It had to be early. She did her best to slowly slip from under the blankets, making sure you were still blissfully asleep before she disappeared from the room.

_________________

@svulife-rl @clarawatson @hbkpop @momlifebehard @alexusonfire @itisdoctortoyousir @temilyrights @alexxavicry @evilregal2002 @alcabots @ladysc @dextur @disneyfan624 @augustvandyne @supercriminalbean @lex13cm @prentiss-theorem @happenstnces @whiteberryx @heidss @geekyandgay98 @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @desperate-gay @amypoehlfey @overtrred28 @emobabeyy @1974-sp @theclassicgaycousin @kalixxa @leftoverenvy @bigolgay @daddy-heather-dunbar @regalmilfs4me @scorpsik @riveramorylunar

[nrc-broadcasting]

Hii! It's me! The anon who asked about period cramps! Please call me Chronia btw! Soo I have another question, my school uniform has me wearing a white skirt 3 days out of the 5 days I go to school, and thankfully, on one of the days I mentioned, my PE uniform is there to save me. But in case of "emergencies", what should I do? And my mom said I should start bringing an emergency kit incase it happens, could you tell me the recommended contents for said kit? Thank you! Hope no more OBs get to you Yuu!(I heard you mention it in Lilia, I won't tell anyone though!)

‘Wine Stained’ Dress

⋆﹥━━━━━━━🎧━━━━━━━﹤⋆

4th quarter of 8th grade and 9th grade as a whole has been squeezing me dry from start to finish. I’m not sure if a simple sorry would suffice for essentially ghosting this blog, but I remember having to delete Tumblr for a set period of time to make more room for schoolwork related files and photos so… I’m very sorry🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

“I find getting small pouches helps a lot with organizing things, especially if you have one big bag,” Yuu states, adjusting their chair a bit.

“I’d say extra underwear, first and foremost! And extra clothes,” there’s an audible pause as they drink out of their glass cup.

“Yes, both a top and pants or an extra skirt, in the case you’re ever wearing a dress when your period comes out of the blue. I’d suggest the top have built in bra pads or anything to support Samantha and Rachel,” Yuu vaguely gestures to their chest.

“In the case the dress your wearing also has built in pads, so you won’t have anything to worry about when changing out of it.

“Another I’d suggest is feminine wash! Sometimes water just doesn’t cut it, and it’s uncomfortable to walk around knowing down there isn’t completely clean.” They check something on their laptop as they take another sip of their drink.

“Another very obvious one is pads and panty liners. And tampons, if that’s what you usually use.” They turn back fully to the mic.

“But between you and me… I’d suggest using a period cup instead. Though that really depends on how hygienic you consider the bathrooms you use,” They shrug.

“But yeah, it’s cheaper despite the slightly uncomfortable way of putting it in.” They give out a low and sheepish chuckle.

“What else am I forgetting…” Yuu hums, pondering.

“Pain meds?” They tilt their head thoughtfully.

“Yeah, pain meds. Even if your period cramps are usually not that painful, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared! And it can be used for other things too, not particularly limited to cramps.

“Oh, you can also substitute the feminine wash with wet wipes free from alcohol, such as baby wipes.” They add on.

“Particularly because I’ve been hearing about how feminine wash actually messes up your PH level, but I’m not too sure about that. Could depend on the brand, so you’re kind of free to try out different ones.

“And a word of advice, I’d advise against cloth reusable pads. They usually need to be hand washed and rinsed multiple times to get all the blood out, so despite having saved money on period products, it goes straight to your household’s water bill. So yeah, a bit counterproductive, huh?” They chuckle.

“And a very, very particular suggestion for something in the hygiene kit is a nail cutter. Since you’re going to be wiping and washing down there, it’s better to make sure you won’t hurt yourself with long nails.” They add on.

“And… that’s about it! You can ask around more female people in your life for any additions, but those are usually what you cab find in hygiene kits!” They say happily.

“—that’s about enough from me about this topic, I hope I helped!”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━🎧━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Our fairytale has come to an end.

[bluejaywalker10]

You know, something that really pisses me off is the concept of marginal profits or savings. Like gas for example. If I've got gas that might be ten cents cheaper a gallon than at another place, I've saved a whopping $1 every ten gallons. If I fill up once a week for a year, that adds up to $52 extra dollars I've been paying. But not buying the cheaper gas isn't going to make an extra $52 materialize in my bank account. $52 over a year isn't going to buy me insulin, or get me the extra $400 a month I need for rent. Even if I was really "foolish" with my money it doesn't make that much of a material difference. If I spark joy in myself buying deodorant and face wash that's more expensive, oh no! I bought some that was $16 for both, and if I got cheaper stuff I'd probably have them for $8. I go through them pretty slowly for whatever reason, so if I pay an extra $8 every six months I've "wasted" $16 over the year. Add it to the $52, I've wasted $68. $68 is the cost of a good grocery run, so I guess the reason why I wasn't eating for the rest of the year was because I didn't find cheaper gas and toiletries. That isn't gonna make me rent. Doing that for brand name groceries vs off-brand groceries, spending $20 a month for fun subscriptions, I did some quick math for me and that would be about $1,078 if I fucking quadrupled my numbers. $1,078. The cheapest rent in my area is MINIMUM $1,200 a month. But I guess I can't move out because my ARFID only lets me eat brand name Pop Tarts instead of the Kroger ones.

And don't get me STARTED on marginal profits with companies. I'm a repair technician for DeWALT Factory Service and there were seventeen late clock-ins at work last week. The production manager brought us into a meeting and said that if everyone's five minutes late every day for a year, that adds up to hours and days of lost work. I'm sorry, what? Because again, that's not time you're actually getting work done. I dunno about you but again those five minutes from each person don't actually materially add up to eight hours or whatever that someone was dicking around or late. They don't actually mean anything. All they mean is I get anxious and feel such incredible guilt when it's hard for me to get up in the morning, and my boss sees the same number of tools repaired on my production reports.

It's all bullshit and I'm so tired. The best budget in the world won't save someone from rising costs of living and the strictest tardy repercussions aren't going to make the damn numbers go up.

[dragonthusiast]

My self-publishing experience

Saw @prettyquickpoetry do an AMA about self-publishing, and thought it might be good to share my experience with it over the last 3 years, maybe it will be useful to someone.

So let's make a numbered list and go down it.

1. Covers

A lot of people think having as accurate cover as possible is necessary, myself included, but apparently that's not really the case. What's actually important is getting a cover that accurately shows your genre. If you have a fantasy book, and the cover immediately evocated fantasy, even if it's just some glowing sword it or something, that's usually enough.

Obviously, if there's for example a dragon on the cover and there's no dragons in the book, that would probably annoy someone, but generic can work, especially because you can then get a premade cover, which are noticeably cheaper than getting a custom one.

And getting one made for paperback/hardback of course costs extra (and in my experience they barely sell), so that's also something to consider.

2. Formating

Another important thing to deal with prior to publication is formatting of the book itself. if you properly format your text in Word, clearly labeling chapters with heading styles, that should be enough for the ebook version (at least it is when publishing on amazon, not 100% sure about paperbacks, though). However, if you want to add more complex things like graphics, POV banners, basically anything to make the inside of the book stand out, things get complicated.

Obviously you don't have to do these things, as long as the book is readable, I don't think anyone will complain, but anything from adding a table of contents to links might be a problem without it.

So if you want to have more than basic formatting, you have two options that are known to me - you can either buy a program called Vellum, which is very expensive (I paid around 300 dollars with tax) and it's only available for Macs but it is very good, or you can have someone format the book for you, which is also expensive, but not this expensive. It really depends on how many books you plan to publish. If you want to do this a lot, the program investment might be worth it, if not, I'd of course suggest just paying someone to do it for you. There's usually more complex options when it's custom order formatting, too.

I also know there's some people willing to use Vellum for you on Fiverr, which I find kind of funny, given how much they charge for such an easy task. But it is allowed, so good for them, I guess.

3. Choosing where to self-publish

Another important decision is if you decide to only stick with Amazon, or if you use the other major retailers also (e.g. going wide). I only have experience with the former, so I can only speculate about the latter, but basically: if you stick with Amazon, you get the option to put your book(s) into Kindle Unlimited (KU), which is basically a library where readers paying a monstly subscription fee can choose books to read, and you get paid per page read. This boosts your chances of people giving your book a try because it's very risk-free for them - they can just stop reading if they don't like it and go about their day without wasting money.

Now is this worth doing instead of putting your book only on Amazon? Hard to say. My books definitely make the most money from page reads, even though you get half a cent per page, but I can't know how many sales I would have made if I hadn't put the books in KU, so I have no idea. I do hear that KU is especially good for romance, but I also feel like half of publishing is just romance, so that feels like an empty statement.

The Amazon only vs. wide debate seems to be an endless one with no one actually having any idea what's best, and everyone feeling very "oh if only I chose the other option, maybe then I'd get readers" about it, so just do whatever, I guess. You can opt out of KU 3 months after signing up for it, so it's pretty risk free, and if it's not for you, you can then go wide. Though I would suggest against then going back to KU, it annoys people when things keep changing.

I know this section has not been very inspiring, but also, I just don't know at this point. I will be trying going wide with my next series, but I have no expectations, mostly because apparently more that 80% of readership is on Amazon. So if you see anyone harrassing authors for publishing there, please, feel free to bludgeon them.

4. Pricing

Most books I've seen seem to be priced at 2.99 to 4.99 dollars. Again, this is just my Amazon knowledge because I don't sell anywhere else yet. The reason for this is that, on Amazon, from 2.99 to 9.99 you get 70% of the money from a sale, while 0.99 to 2.98 gets you only 35%. (Same for over 10 dollars of course.)

You can't publish a book as free on Amazon, but you can publish somewhere else where this is allowed (I can't remember which retailer allows this right now, but I know there is at least one) and then you can tell Amazon to price match that, so it will be permafree. However, I do know Amazon, being a money hungry snake, doesn't like this, and they will do whatever they can to make this process difficult, such as randomly the price switching back from free to whatever it was.

Indie books more expensive than 4.99 get fewer sales because it's just more of a risk for readers than if they bought a more expensive traditionally published book, though if you can make it work, go for it. The more money the better.

I think 3.99 is a nice price point where it's not as cheap as it could be, implying at least subconsciously some kind of quality, while still being cheap enough for the average reader to not be intimidated by.

5. Marketing

The most awful thing in existence. Not to be too dramatic. It feels like slamming your head against a wall.

I'll immediately come out and say that I have no idea how to make this work, so unfortunately, I can't recommend anything, but I did try a lot of ways to market, so I'll just list them here and give my experiences with them.

Usually there's two types of ads you can do - ad campaigns and newsletters.

The first uses keywords you pick and you generally pay per click on the ad, which doesn't have to result in a sale. In fact, it usually doesn't, in my experience, to the point that I haven't figured out how to make them profitable at all.

Newsletters have two types - one that you yourself put together, which I highly recommend you do immediately, even before publishing. Even just having a link in the book to a signup form for people who want to read more things by you is better than nothing. I use Mailchimp for this, but I don't know if I want to recommend it, there's a lot that pisses me off about it, but that said I haven't found anything better, and you get up to 1K emails for your list for free, which is a bunch of people to collect the email addresses of. In 3 years, I got 3 so far. Obviously you can boost these numbers by offering an incentive other than just people wanting to read more books by you. For example, giving them a novella connected to your book(s) for free if they sign up. I haven't done this, but that's because I'm a lazy dumbass.

The second type of newsletters is one where you pay for your book to be added to the email that's sent out by a third party. Usually you choose which genre your book is in so only people who read for example fantasy will get your fantasy book in an email of other fantasy books. These lists have thousands of readers, but usually they're only for discounted or free books, so they're best for series.

Here's a link to a comprehensive list of these services, but they're not very cheap, having gotten much more expensive recently, with the added problem of diminishing returns. The first promotion you do is usually pretty successful, but if you do it again for the same book in maybe say half a year, plenty of people who would be interested already have your book, hence smaller numbers. I've had the most success with FreeBooksy, but I haven't tried every single service on that list.

The best of these is BookBub, where it's supposedly almost impossible not to make your investment back from what I heard. The reason I only ever heard about this is because it's expensive as shit. You fork over hundreds of dollars for these. Right now, a free fantasy book promo which is shown to almost 1.4 million people according to the BookBub website costs almost 500 dollars. The most expensive seems to be women's fiction for a whopping 700.

And again, I need to stress this is if your book is free, so you won't make any money back directly, with non free book promos being even more expensive than this. You need this to be the first in a series, ideally. I wish I could try this out, but 500 dollars here is like half a monthly sallary, so it's a little unreachable for me, especially when I can't even be sure that money will come back to me.

But from second hand opinions I've seen, very few people complain about this being ineffective. It's just very unapproachable.

Okay, and now let's look at those ad campaigns.

Let's go from worst to best:

Twitter ads - awful, you get a bunch of clicks but I've never once made a sale despite getting hundreds of clicks, even on things that are up for a dollar. So I assume it's all bots. (Also Twitter might die soon or whatever, so I guess it doesn't matter anymore)

Facebook ads - supposedly work, you can even filter people who read ebooks on there when you know how, but even after reading a book about this specific topic, I have never made a sale that way, just like with Twitter. I think Facebook ads might work, but it's a money sink to the point that I couldn't get that many clicks before having to stop the ad campaign. I'm a poor eastern European student, ok, I can't afford paying a dollar per click, hoping that maybe after 10 I get a single sale that will give me back 2 or 3 dollars.

BookBub ads - yes Bookbub also does pay-per-click ads for books. They're also useless. The only reason I put them ahead of the other two is that I believe the clicks you get are from real people, and that they're not very expensive. But I have never made a sale here.

Amazon ads - the most success I've had with this type of ad. I feel a need to stress that this is incredibly relative, I barely made any money, I certainly never made enough to justify the ads, but it was the most effective of these. I usually tried them, only to grow anxious about getting click and no sales to the point where I decided that I must be doing something wrong, turned them off, only to repeat a few months later until finally I just gave up completely. People make good profit on these, supposedly, but I just couldn't figure it out. It didn't matter what book I put out an ad for, or what keywords I used. Even when I was randomly getting clicks, there were no sales. I just don't know, anymore.

Finally, something related to marketing but not exactly an ad:

Website - when I started I thought it was incredibly important to have an author website, and yes, it's neat, but it's in no way a necessity, and it costs a lot of money. I initially didn't think it was too bad, but that's because most website hosts give you a very discounted plan for the first three years, and then hit you with even tripple prices.

Even with the newsletter signups, you can use a service to host your form on their website, not to mention you can put one of the signup forms on a free website (at least Wix let me). But my point here is that you don't actually need a website if you don't want to bother. A Facebook page serves the same purpose, for example. And even if you do want a website, a free one is enough. If there's a reader out there who, upon visiting an indie writer's website, scoff that there's ads, or whatever, they are an asshole.

Of course, if you can afford a website, why not, go for it, but it's not something you have to have.

And related to this: I see a lot of people get hung up on reviews when they first publish. And yes, reviews are important, but I have never noticed a difference in sales between books that have reviews/have few reviews/have no reviews. My most "successful" book sold hundreds of copies if I also count KU reads, and that had no reviews for a full month. All those sales were organic too, I did nothing to earn this aside from writing the book (which should be enough in an ideal world but oh well). And then the reviews weren't very good, but the sales didn't drop off.

Opposite to this my first book is sitting at 39 reviews, with the worst being two 2 star ratings, the majority is 5 stars. Pretty good. Guess what that book will not sell unless I pay. At all.

What matters is algorithms, which supposedly can be jumpstarted by getting a lot of sales upon publishing. Apparently that makes the algorithm notice that the book is doing good and it will push it more so more people buy it. But I don't think anyone actually understands how the Amazon algorithm works, including Amazon. All this is is speculation. That said, I did notice there's usually some organic interest in a book shortly after publishing (as long as its the first in a series/stand-alone). The only time a book of my arrived dead on arrival was with The Circles of Magic. I wish I could say I learned what I did wrong, but no. I have no idea still.

And I think that's it. If I think of anything else, I'll add it. If anyone has any questions, I can answer them, also, so don't be shy. I wrote this not to make anyone second-guess their goal to self-publish, of course, I don't regret doing it, but I think it's good to share what it's been like so whoever might find this useful knows what it's like. And of course this is just my experience, I'm sure you could find someone with the exact opposite experience.

Special mention to @missdrarrydawn my beloved best fren best person alive . This has nothing to do with the rest of the post. It's just the objective truth, and she deserves a special mention

[solarpunk-oasis]

fancied up oat milk

I recently remembered that oat milk is absurdly easy to make (blend old fashioned oats and water for 30 seconds, strain) but then because I’m me I made some and immediately wanted to make it better? So here are a couple of ways to make it better. But first:

IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO ANY OF THE LISTED INGREDIENTS OR HAVE EXCLUDED THEM FROM YOUR DIET FOR SOME OTHER REASON DON’T USE THEM OBVIOUSLY, AND CHECK INGREDIENTS OF ANY PRODUCT YOU BUY TO MAKE ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THIS POST. INGREDIENTS VARY!!!!!

Supplies: blender, quart jar or other container, measuring cups, fine mesh strainer, and a canning funnel is helpful for straining into a small mouth jar, but not required.

Ingredients:

1 qt water

between 1/2 and 1 cup old fashioned rolled oats. (3/4 cup is my fave.)

Instructions: add water to blender, then oats, then blend immediately for 30 seconds. Soaking will increase sliminess; avoid it. Also immediately strain through a fine mesh strainer into your chosen container. Don’t try to squeeze every drop of water out, that will also cause sliminess. Drink what you want, then refrigerate for 2-3 days. As a bonus, I made food out of the leftover oat gunk from the strainer and the bottom of the blender by refrigerating it overnight with a little extra water, then heating, just like making overnight oats. It was more like grits than oatmeal, but I also like grits, so that’s good. You could also be sorta normal and discard this, I’m just saying it’s safe to eat, if you were wondering.

How to Make It Better:

Basically, add another milk. I don’t have any issues with dairy and I’m mostly veg but not vegan, so I have added the following dairy milks so far:

1/4 cup powdered skim milk

2 tbsp powdered skim and 2 tbsp powdered whole milk (powdered whole milk often has soy in it. check that label.)

1/2 cup evaporated milk (not sweetened condensed!) a standard 12oz can of this from a US grocery store will give you 3x1/2 cup servings, i.e. 3 quarts of milk. this also has sneaky ingredients sometimes. again: check that label to make sure it’s safe for you.

There are other vegan options (coconut and soy come to mind in particular) but I haven’t tried them yet. If you do, my method above is to use enough powder or canned concentrate to make 1 cup reconstituted milk, but just add that amount directly to your quart of oatmilk, don’t reconstitute it separately.

Conclusions: why do all of this alchemy with powders and cans and measuring cups and blenders when commercial options exist? Because even the most expensive dairy route (canned evaporated milk) is substantially cheaper than commercial milk (dairy or otherwise) where I’m at, first of all, and also because the ingredients are shelf stable, which is great for non-refrigerator situations or just for stockpiling a little in case of, oh, i don’t know, a massive lockdown, etc.

So that’s the fancy oat milk tutorial. Enjoy.

[teddy06writes]

the quackity + karl irl stream but add y/n ✨ (and maybe sapnap if that's not too hard to write 😳😳)

quackity x karl x reader (I tried to Fit in Sapnap but it didn’t work with the way the meet up actually went)

trigger warnings: swearing

premise: you finally get to meet your long distance boyfriends in person, the stream that follows is WACK

(y/s/n) - your screen name

(y/n/n) - your nickname

“Blep” talking

‘blep’ texting

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“WE’RE POPPING OFF! WE’RE POPPIN OFF!”

You roared with laughter, doing your best to stay out of the way as Alex and Karl started swinging guitars around.

~~

two and a half hours earlier:

You had gotten off the plane in NC, practically buzzing with nervous energy, or maybe it was the coffee you’d gotten on the plane, combined with the two energy drinks earlier in the day, but hey! it was a long flight, and it was already late.

It was nearly 10:30 by the time you got your bag, and pulled out your phone to check the new messages from Karl and Alex.

You had all planed to meet up originally at Karl’s house but then plans had changed when you and Alex figured it’d be cheaper to uber together, even if it ruined the plan of all of you meeting at once.

‘I just got my bag where are you?’ you texted Alex.

‘I only just got off the plane, I should get down to baggage claim soon tho’

You smiled, ‘I’ll see you them <3′

‘nerd’         ‘<3′

You stood against a wall, quietly scrolling through twitter as you waited, until a new message from Alex popped up.

It was a fairly blurry photo of a crowded airport, with a red circle drawn around one person.

‘that is you right?’

You chuckled, zooming in on the picture to determine that is was indeed you, ‘yup, that’s little ole me... stalker’

You looked up as you sent the text, rising on your toes to look over the crowd, trying to spot him, pulling out your camera you quietly explained what was going on and then:

“(Y/n)!” Alex emerged from the crowd, and immediately you grinned, throwing your arms around him.

“Alex!”

You pulled away long enough for Alex to ask, “Can I kiss you?”

Laughing you nodded, and his lips met yours, as your hands came to rest on the sides of his face.

When you pulled away Alex muttered, “wow.”

“That bad? Sorry.” You glanced down sheepishly.

“Not that-” he said quickly, taking a half step back, “It’s just- wow, you know. Like, we’re actually here together, and about to go meet up with Karl, and wow.”

You chuckled, “I guess that makes sense.”

He garbed your hand, “C’mon, I already called an uber.”

~~

The whole way to Karl’s you sat nervously fiddling the cuffs of your hoodie, occasionally glancing at Alex, who smiled back reassuringly.

You sent a message to the group chat the three of you were in saying you would be there in two minutes at which he sent back a long string of emojis you could only take to mean that he was excited.

The car pulled up in front of the house and you got out, thanking the driver as Alex got your suitcases from the back.

Quietly you pulled out your camera, just as you had at the airport.

“Why are you filming everything?” Alex asked as you walked up to the house.

“We’re gonna do what George could never.” You laughed.

“Yeah but the lightings gonna be shit, it’s dark out here.”

“It’ll still be better than George!”

Alex laughed, high fiving you, “True!”

Almost as soon as you knocked, the door opened and Karl came barreling out, tackling both of you in a hug, “YOUR HERE!”

Alex barley kept him from falling over, “Yeah!”

“It’s almost like we planned it.” You couldn’t help but scoff at the camera.

Karl grinned, quickly pecking at your lips, and then Alex’s as he let go of you, “I am so excited that you guys are here!”

“Woah Karl where's the consent?!” Alex feigned shock.

“Oops?” He giggled.

You rolled your eyes with a chuckle, “Can we come in? It’s cold out here!”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, come in, come in!” Karl quickly moved back inside, waving you and Alex in, “Sorry.”

~~

After getting your suitcases inside and being formally introduced to Shaun, Karl all but demanded for you to take pictures together, resulting in many shots that were blurry from too much laughter, but a few good ones, like the picture with the boys on either side of you, kissing your cheeks, which later went up on Instagram, and a picture of Karl, mid laugh looking back at you up on Alex’s back.

All of your previous anxiety was very much gone.

You laughed, looking at Karl’s phone as he showed the picture, “Oh my god!”

“That is amazing!” Alex agreed, leaning over you to look.

“It’s gonna be the stream announcement!” Karl declared, pulling up twitter.

You glanced at your phone, “Karl it’s almost one in the morning, no one would show up to a stream.”

Karl laughed, “You seriously underestimate the fans.”

The next thing you knew you were up upstairs, sitting off to the side of Karl’s streaming set up as Alex grabbed the guitar from the corner, “Karl you don’t even actually play, why do you have this?”

“Because I can?” He said absently, starting to set up for a stream.

The air was thick with excitement as Karl hit ‘go live’, and handed you and Alex extra sets of headphones.

Alex was still messing with the guitar, and you barley stifled laughs as he began to sing Country roads in a strange accent, and the chat filled with people.

“It’s pop off time!” Karl announced in a high pitched voice, making you laugh even more.

The face cam was turned on, and the yelling began.

After a few moments, and a couple more terrible bars of country roads, Karl grinned, “Everyone! This is, Quackity, our, uh, our guitarist for the day!”

Alex laughed, “We’re poppin off! We’re poppin off!”

“And (y/s/n)s here too!” Karl dragged your chair further in frame, “Welcome! Welcome!”

“It’s pop off central tonight boys!” You chuckled.

The alert box went insane as did the chat as Alex finally sat down next to you, and Karl stopped laughing enough to sit back up.

“Guys! Chill! You’re gonna break the alert box!”

You laughed again, “Yeah just tell your chat to stop, just knock it off, leave we’re done!”

Alex snorted, “It’s over!”

Karl pulled his chair closer to the desk, “Thanks for uh, being here, with the boys, uhh.”

He turned to Alex who was now essentially just spamming random chords, yelling, “I can’t hear you!”

You berried your face in your hands, trying to control your laughter.

Karl sighed and pulled his headphones off, “You know what? I’ll be right back, I’ll be right back.”

You immediately hopped seats as he left, “Hello chat! Hello!”

Alex leaned over, trying to grab the mic to pull it towards him, “hell-” part of the stand snapped, “Oh my god!”

“Oh my god you fucking broke it!” You yelled, pushing away from the desk.

“Oh god, hold on!”

He did his best to fix it, leaning in to talk to the chat, while Karl came back with another guitar.

“Why do you have two of them?” You laughed.

Karl grinned, “Technically it’s Shaun's!”

“OH WE”RE POPPING OFF! WE”RE POPPING OFF!”

You roared with laughter, quickly moving back out of the way as Karl jokingly swung the guitar at Alex.

Once you calmed down you caught a glimpse of the chat, “Guys I think you fucked something up!”

“Oh god!” Alex muttered.

“Wait- hold on- did-” Karl examined the mic, “Wait its unplugged!”

It took a few minutes to get things sorted out, and as Karl and Alex went back to yelling about popping off you spun around in your desk chair, “Pop off crew! Pop off crew!”

Things settled down again when you moved your chair back to between them, a sub goal was set for a height check, and you started to try and get things some what orderly.

“So yeah this isn’t just a Minecraft stream, I think we’re just hanging out, Popping off, you know, we’re gonna talk to chat-”

Karl began to laugh, and Alex tried not to chuckle as he said, “He’s laughing at you (y/n) he’s just laughing at you! What are you gonna do about it?”

“Listen man, I’m trying to get your fucking stream in order. If you just wanna fucking ignore me then fine!” You held your hands up in surrender.

“Well, I mean-”

Karl started to stand up, and you knew he was going for the fit check but Alex screeched, shoving his chair back, “Fuck off!”

“Wha?”

You laughed, “He thought you were going for the Hight check early man!”

“Dude it’s the fit check!”

Alex laughed as Karl sat back down, “Holy shit- cash app with the hundred tear ones!”

You giggled at the message, “They wanna see the height check! Who wants to see the height check? Who wants to see the height check chat?”

“No no no no! No height check early! It- it doesn’t matter, cause height is stupid, and a choice!” Alex struggled for words.

You shook your head whispering, “He just looks short next to Karl and he’s scared.”

“Shut up!”

~~

A while later, after both Karl and Alex’s stream descended into chaos or partial chaos, you found yourself tucked between them on the couch.

Karl’s fingers were intertwined with yours, and Alex’s head lay on your shoulder.

“I’m glad to have finally met you guys.” You murmured.

“Yeah,” Alex hummed, “Actually being able to cuddle is much better than the online thing.”

Karl hummed in agreement, “I wish you guys could be here all the time.”

“Let’s get a house somewhere.” You mused.

“Somewhere convenient for you two nerds to go to school.” Karl chuckled.

Alex yawned, “Somewhere near good take out.”

You smiled sleepily, “Anywhere with you guys is fine by me.”

Distantly a clock on the wall read 4:23 am.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Horse info 101

A horse girl’s guide to the basics for fic writing with an important and lively horse involved:

This got kinda long I’m kinda sorry but not at all lol 

There's three basic gaits (speeds with different patterns of hoof-fall/leg movements

Walking is the slowest and is a four beat gait, meaning each foot hits the ground at a different time. Usually the same pace as a walking human when the horse is calm. Some breeds can walk HELLA fast though. Most horses will fill the same spot/hole where their front hoof was with their back hoof on the same side. If they overstep they clip their fetlock (joint lookin bit above the hoof) or pastern (bit between the hoof and fetlock) and can injure themselves. 

Now trotting. The middle gait, a person can jog next to a trot at a comfortable pace but if you push them a little horses can trot faster than your average HS track endurance athlete. Once again some breeds can trot HELLA fast. This is a two beat gait in that two diagonally opposite legs are moving in unison. In some english saddles (I’ll get into that later if we have class time) it’s easier to post while the horse is trotting rather than sit for the gait. That just means you stand up in the irons (stirrups on an english saddle, we’ll also cover that later) at the same time that one of the front legs moves forward. 

Also, see how the trotting horse’s head looks? That’s how they travel when they’re relaxed and attentive. The tucked head thing you see Roach doing is because there’s tension on the reigns and Henry learned to ride for an english seat not a western pleasure seat (might get into those but they’re really not important)

Time for the Canter/Lope. This is a three beat gait so that means two legs are moving in unison and the other two are not. Horses canter/lope fast. This is the go-time gait. Some performance/dressage horses are trained to canter extremely slow but if we’re talking transportation trained horses they’re not gonna be that kind of slow. Your average human is not gonna be able to keep up with this for long if at all. This varies in speed too. There's a rather casual canter seen in the gif directly below, then below that is the balls to the wall canter/lope that most horse people just refer to as a run. That’s as fast as they can go.

Basic tack names

Halter + Lead/Lead Rope - these can be made of rope, leather, nylon (more modern) but the halter is generally used for leading and tying.

Bridle - this is the one that you use while you ride, it holds the bit in their mouth. There’s millions of different types of bridles but they’re usually made out of leather even now. sometimes you get rope/nylon ones but I don’t trust them.

Reins - connect to the bit and you use them to steer and control speed. Horses trained in western or one handed riding will ‘neck rein’ which means if you move your hand to the right and the left rein brushes their neck they will move to the right.

Bit - the metal piece in the horses mouth. most english riding bits are broken (joint in the middle) and most western ones are solid. there’s a gap behind the horse’s front teeth and that’s where the metal sits. Some horses have smaller mouths than others and do better with solid bits because the ‘broken’ ones will hit the top of their mouth and hurt. There’s also things called ‘shanks’ on some bits which are just longer pieces of metal that attach to the sides of the pieces in their mouth and point downward. This gives the rider more leverage and makes any tug on the reins stronger. (google “Horse bit shank” if this doesn’t make sense)

Saddle - you sit in it. simple right? wrong. There’s two main types of saddles, Western - with the horn like you see in the running gif, and English- the loping gif without the horn. The saddles used in the Witcher look like the pre-english saddle versions but the basic parts you need to know are the same. The part where you ass goes? that’s the seat. the part right in front of your crotch? That’s the pomel. that’s your ‘oh shit handle’ if anything goes screwy (other than the mane). The part that sticks up and keeps your ass in place? That’s the cantle. I like western saddles SO MUCH MORE but i also grew up mainly riding western so im biased. 

Stirrups/Irons - stirrups and irons are where your feet go. In western saddles they’re called stirrups and they’ve got wider decorative leather flaps (called fenders, also originally added to protect trousers/legs from the horse sweat and the buckles of the cinch) and on english saddles they’re called irons because they are usually made of iron and rather slim. Geralt’s irons look pretty similar to modern ones, slim leather straps, minimal iron (or steel or any other strong metal really). Traditional english riders have knee high boots like you see in regency costumes which removes the need for the fenders like on western saddles. 

Cinch/girth - this is what keeps the saddles on. You take a strap and attach it to one side of the saddle, run it under the belly right behind their front legs and attach it to the other side. Its usually made of a strong fabric with wool or some kind of softer lining for western riding. English riding uses a leather one most of the time though this horse girl hates them because they’re harder to cinch up. English saddles use buckles while Western saddles use another leather strap to run through the chinch/girth buckle and you either tie it off or use it like a belt. 

Chest strap - this keeps the saddle from sliding backwards. It’s attached to both sides of the saddle by buckles and between the front legs its attached to the cinch/girth. this is pretty universal but not always used. Geralt uses one though. 

Saddle pad - goes under the saddle to protect the baby’s back and whithers (spot where the neck meets the back and the mane ends)

Tacking up and untacking takes time. This is usually 5-10 minutes when done at a leisure pace and done right.

Basic grooming

Brush down before tacking up - you don’t want stuff chaffing the pony while you ride

brush after untacking- helps clear skin of irritants and feels nice

Shedding scraper/curry comb to get rid of shedding hair - if you want a pic of these just google them I think I’m close to the pic limit for my post. 

HOOF PICK - keep the baby's feet clean and clear if rocks so they don't bruise but also so nothing get infected

Yes, plz brush their mane it gets MATTED - a hairbrush works but a wide tooth comb is best

Horses roll to itch their backs and clean off, sounds counterintuitive with the dirt but it works

Shaving a little spot for the bridle to sit is pretty modern but it's easier for everyone involved

Horse Colors- guys roach is not brown she’s a chestnut color

The only thing I have to add to this is that the “Leopard” one is called “appaloosa” in the US at least, and “Pinto” is also reffered to as “Paint” and there’s all sorts of different patterns that you can see. also i want a buckskin so bad. yes i was obsessed with Spirit as a child why do you ask?

Travel care of your babies

Horses CAN and have subsisted off roadside grasses and grazing at night BUT it's good for them to get a lil something extra ESPECIALLY if you’re keeping them in a stall at night where they can’t graze.

Hay and grains like cracked wheat, oats, barley and the like are commonly found in horse feed. Also a lil drizzle of molasses is chock full of calories and all my horses LOVE the taste.

also while we’re talking food: some horses cant keep all the juice/bits in their mouth when they eat apples (we fondly call it making applesauce) or other treats/veg. Yes it gets all over your hand, yeah its kinda gross, but there’s worse things.

Shoes. Babe's need horse shoes. Especially if they're walking over rocks and roads.

Throwing a shoe (when it comes off on accident) is painful sometimes and if left un-dealt with can affect their joints and spine. Imagine walking around in one heeled shoe and one athletic shoe all day. Ow.

On that note though, on lighter travel seasons it's nice to give their hooves a break from shoes (also cheaper)

Horse moods:

horse mood ear chart here: I cant add much tbh

If a horse is comfortable/happy/relaxed they will ‘chew’ on nothing. Just kina a little lip smack type deal. My horse’s bottom lip would hang a couple centimeters below his top one when he was relaxed and I would put my chapstick in it while I fussed with other things.

When a horse is uncomfrotable/scared/tense their lips get sealed tight. I call it ‘fish butt lips’ bc they’re watertight and NOTHING is getting in there. 

Stamping hooves can be a few things. Antsy and ready to roll, nervous, deadass scared, or playful/excited. 

A full whinny is communication - saying hi, warning, scared, etc.

the really soft whinny is called a nicker and its my favorite sound okay? that’s little soft communication and its usually reserved for times when they’re comfortable.

When they’re really relaxed they’ll cock one of their back legs kinda how we shift our weight to one hip. 

general fun facts:

Some horses fake limp when they don’t want to work bc they are lazy and smart and realize their person will get off and check them out and maybe even give them a rest. 

You do a preliminary leg injury test by running your hands slowly over their legs and checking for hot spots - inflammation caused by injury is warm

Basic horse saftey is never stand directly in front of the horse if theres a possibility of spooking, if you’re gonna walk behind them walk out of reach of their hooves or right up against that ass. If they cant get a good wind up it wont do as much damage (on that note though I rode/trained horses for 18 years and was only kicked once by a foal). 

It’s kinda common sense not to walk/sidestep between your horses legs and under their belly but we do it all the time bc its a trust thing? adrenaline? its fun?

laying on your horse’s back sans saddle, and facing their butt is so nice okay, that ass is soft and cushy and perfect for a nap. I miss laying on my horses while they ate like this every damn day. 

Horses can sense your moods. Not unlike the whole ‘witchers smelling you’ thing. They can feel a difference in the tension on the reins and in your posture when you’re tense or relaxed.

Some horses will take care of their riders, some are absolute shits and push the limits for funsies. Some horses will only behave for people they’re used to too. Some horses have trauma from being mistreated and will have triggers kinda like people do. We had a horse who would freak the fuck out if anyone walked around with a red had but as soon as you took it off she was the most level headed horse we had.

A good portion of horses (Who aren’t scared of children) will behave better with kiddos or novice riders because they feel they’re nervous.

If they hurt while they’re moving they usually limp but sometimes they’ll buck. It’s their defense mechanism. 

Horses can’t sleep for too long laying down because their body weight will collapse their lungs. Most horses sleep standing up.

They can sit like a dog and it’s hella cute. 

Stung by bees? Most horses will take off at a dead sprint bucking and hopping unless you’ve done a lot of trust work/training with them

They also run and jump and buck and rear to play.

If theres two horses in a pasture together one will chew at the other’s whithers (or anywhere else) to ask them to scratch them the same way. its very cute and they sometimes try this with people.

horses hug. I cry. 

the whole deal with the rider/horse relationship is it’s a mutual trust you’re building. They let you sit on their back and do weird shit and you trust them not to throw you.  

Thank you for coming to class today! If there’s any questions feel free to message me! I’m not kidding I wanna answer your questions and I miss my horses so this is fun for me.

@elliestormfound​ here it is boo! lol 

[ladyanaconda]

Helluva Boss Vol 2: Loo Loo Land

Striker awoke with a start, panting heavily. His heart pounded so fast that he thought it would burst out of his chest at any moment now. The imp sighed as he ran a hand through his ash white hair.

He had that nightmare again. He didn't cry, as he had no more tears to shed and it wouldn't being her back but the wound was still raw. He'd tell himself that he did what she asked of him: to save their son. However, the guilt was still there.

Striker went to the kitchen for a glass of water. As he looked through the window, he noticed it was raining. There were no thunders tonight but still, he better go check on Jake just in case.

Something pulled on his pants. Speak of the devil! Striker looked down and found the infant next to his leg, his little hand grasping his pants. How Jake managed to crawl all the way down from his nursery was a mystery to Striker.

"What's up, kiddo?" Striker asked, not really expecting an answer. Jake reached out his hands, asking to be picked up. Sighing, he bent down to pick up his son. " Can't sleep either, huh? That makes two of us, my boy," he said gently as he walked up the stairs. "How about we keep each other company for a while? It'll be less lonely that way."

Striker sat on his bed and placed Jake on his lap. He entertained the little one with the rattling of his tail for a while until Jake lost interest and snuggled into his father's chest, yawning. Striker knew what the little one needed. Jake protested via whimpers as he was tucked back into his nearly started to wail if not for the familiar sound of a guitar's strings and his father's voice as the cradle was rocked from side to side.

Come stop your crying

It will be alright

Just take my hand

Hold it tight

I will protect you

From all around you

I will be here

Don't you cry

For one so small

You seem so strong

My arms will hold you

Keep you safe and warm

This bond between us

Can't be broken

I will be here don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forevermore

You'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be here in my heart

Always

Always…

Jake had long been lulled into sleep by the end of the song. Smiling, Striker kissed the little one's forehead.

"Good night."

*HB*

"M and M, J and S, get in here! We're going to Loo Loo Land!"

Striker frowned under his hat, annoyed at having his nap interrupted. "Isn't that the rip-off of Lucifer's far more popular LuLu World?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"That's right, Strike! Stolas is paying us extra cash for making sure he and his daughter are still breathing by the end of the day."

Striker covered his face with his hat again. "Sorry, Blitz, my contract only includes assassination jobs."

"Look at it this way: you're going to 'assassinate' whoever tries to lay a hand on Stolas and his daughter."

The cowboy frowned. "Why us? Doesn't that blueblood have a whole legion of guards at his disposal?"

"Come on, dad! I want to go to Loo Loo Land!" Jake pleaded, taking his father's hat. "I've never been to a theme park!"

"Yeah, Strike, it'll be fun!" Millie wrapped an arm around the cowboy's shoulder. "You won't find a cheaper theme park in all of Hell, plus it's a good opportunity for you and Jake to spend some quality time together!"

Striker would have protested further, but Jake (and Blitzo) were giving him the 'puppy eyes' face. At last, he murmured. "Ugh. Fine."

They picked up the owl Goetias in I.M.P.'s van and went straight to the theme park in the Greed ring. As always, Striker and Jake rode Bombproof to avoid an overcrowding inside the vehicle, especially with two bluebloods inside.

Striker'd seen a few tv commercials about Loo Loo Land, but something he'd learned over the years is that no intentional rip-off of anything was worth wasting money on. He was soon proven right once they arrived at the place. Most of the attractions within Loo Loo Land were either broken, cracked, or disheveled-looking. And judging by the look on Octavia's face, she didn't like it here either. Jake, on the other hand…

"Cool! Look, dad, there's a carousel! Can we go? No, wait, I wanna try the roller coaster first! Whoa, is that a dragon? I must pet it!" the impling was running around the place, awing over the rides and booths with wide eyes.

"Blitz better add another zero to my next paycheck." Striker murmured under his breath.

"Woow! I haven't been to this place since I was a tot! It hasn't changed a bit- oh, LOOK!" Millie pulled Moxxie and Jake into a hug and gestured to an old dinosaur-like animatronic. "It's Big Woobly!"

"That is… deeply upsetting," Moxxie whispered.

"Oh, come on! It's fun! You've never been here?"

"No, theme parks always disturbed me. Especially the mascots."

"I agree with Moxxie." Millie, Jake, and Moxxie himself gave Striker a baffled look. "As incredible as it sounds."

"Well, hey there!" Striker was caught off guard as Moxxie suddenly jumped into his arms with a frightened yelp as a guy in an old cartoonish apple costume appeared out of nowhere. The only reason he didn't drop Moxxie was that he too was disturbed by the awful, smelly costume. "I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land! If ya'll get hurt, just try and sue us!"

Striker quickly wrapped his tail around Jake's waist and lifted him up before he could get too close to 'Loo Loo'.

"Hey, dad, let go!" the impling protested.

"Stay away from that predator, kiddo." Striker finally dropped Moxxie to the ground.

"I have a question."

"Well, ask away, little girlie!" the mascot made a poor attempt at goofy laughter.

Octavia sneered. "Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off or Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World? This place reeks of insecure corporate shame."

Striker held tightly unto Jake until they left the creepy mascot behind. Being new to this place, he decided to follow Millie and Moxxie around for a while.

"You really love this place, huh?" Moxxie asked casually.

Millie nodded eagerly. "I love this place! My parents would bring me and my siblings here when they could swing it. Money-wise."

"Dad, look!" Jake ran towards a gift shop and pressed his face against the window, eyeing a plush dragon like the one on the Petting Zoo. "Can I have one?"

Striker only had to look at the price, 400 souls, to reply. "Absolutely not."

"Whyy?"

"400 souls for a doll you'll end up throwing away? Don't you wanna throw away all of my salary, since you're on it?"

Jake pouted, arms crossed. "Meanie."

"He does have a point. I mean, that much for a novelty cup you use one time?" Moxxie added, pointing at said cup worth 29 souls.

"Cause it's Loo Loo Land!" Millie chirped.

"Listen to your hoe, Mox." Blitzo seemingly had no trouble with loading up on the theme park's merch. "Hey, Strike, how 'bout you and I take the first watch while M and M have a little fun with Jakey?"

"Can I, dad? Please, please, please!"

Striker sighed. "Fine. Just stay close to Millie and Moxxie and listen to whatever they tell-"

"Um, Striker, I have to interrupt your fatherly monologue, but they already left." Blitzo was right. Millie, Moxie, and Jake were gone already.

Striker merely sighed and loaded his rifle.

*HB*

Jake still couldn't understand why his father had never brought him to Loo Loo Land before. This place was incredible! The rides, the junk food, kicking the guy in the Loo Loo costume; for some reason, he couldn't resist the urge every time he saw the apple costume. And of course, Moxie simply had to ruin everything. His wimpy stomach couldn't handle The Lawsuit ride and he ended up vomiting unto the people in the front car, Jake included. They had to get him new clothes in the nearest gift shop.

"You're so lucky my dad wasn't here or he would have fed you to that," Jake pointed at the dragon peeking over the Petting zoo fence.

"Okay, guys, how about we take a look around the smaller rides?" Millie suggested.

"You mean the kids area? That's where the Petting Zoo is! Can we go there to see the dragon?"

"I don't care as long as I don't have to get on top of it," Moxxie murmured, his hand still clutching his stomach. Jake squealed happily.

There were lots of animals at the Petting Zoo. Jake recognized some from Wrath, most notably some Hellhorses with green fire to reflect Greed. He had seen how Bombproof's fire color change from orange to red each time they entered Pride, and it had changed to a minty green when they entered Greed. There were other animals he had only seen in books too, but his attention was entirely focused on the giant red, black and white wyvern. Known as Hellvern, it is native to Greed and is often used as a 'guardian dog' of sorts by Overlords.

Jake felt a shiver down his spine as the giant dragon stared down at him curiously. Taking a deep breath, he stroked the animal's snout. Once he realized his hand was attached to his body, Jake began to laugh and jump.

"I touched the dragon, I touched the dragon!" he cried out happily. "Just wait until I tell dad!"

"Oh, I bet he'll be very proud of you!" Millie smirked, ruffling the impling's hair. "

Afterward, they took a break from the rides and wandered around the snack and game booths. Jake and Millie ate big cones of ice cream bugs and fried butter sticks. Moxxie chose not to consume any 'junk food of questionable origin'.

"This place is amazing! Man, I wish I'd come here sooner!" Jake said happily as he looked around the game booths.

"So Striker has never brought here? He would have loved the rides for sure!" Millie pointed out.

"Nah, dad's never been too fond of machines. He'd rather do things the old-fashioned way."

Moxxie scoffed. "Yeah, why would he come to work on a horse otherwise?"

"Well, at least we don't waste time on looking for a parking spot."

"Touché, kid."

"Hey, now that we're on it, I don't think we've ever met your mom."

Jake stopped in his tracks. His… mom? It's the first time someone's brought that up. Dad has never talked about her and there are no photos of her in the house. But surely he had one, right? Everyone has one.

"Hello, hello! Step right up and win a thing!"

Millie's excited cry distracted Jake from his thoughts. "Oh, look, Moxxie! A thing!" The 'thing' in question was a purple stuffed penguin-like creature with imp horns and pink overalls.

"Oh, you like that thing?"

"Yesss! I don't really know what that thing is but I want that thing!"

Moxxie smirked. "Finally, something I can handle." he placed a soul bill on the counter. "Okay! One game, please!"

Unsurprisingly, the cork but the target. To Jake's surprise, however, the target barely moved. Moxxie didn't seem to mind since he had hit the bullseye.

"Strike one, little man!"

Moxie's smugness faded instantly. "But I hit it!"

"Hmm, I don't know what to tell ya, buddy. The target, see?" the vendor pointed at said target "It didn't go down, so yeah, no go, bro."

Growling, Moxie placed another bill on the counter and fired another cork at the bullseye, but again it didn't move. Annoyed, Moxxie slapped the pistol. "The Heaven's wrong with this thing?!"

"Oh. Man, a real shame, I tell ya." the carnie made crying gestures in a mocking manner, prompting Moxxie to slam yet another bill on the counter.

*HB*

As incredible as it may sound, Striker envied his son. Jake was probably having a great time at the admittedly cool-looking rides while he is stuck babysitting a blueblood. He couldn't say he was completely bored, though. Turns out the pervert was right when he said there'd be lots of people going after him. Striker even ended up making a bet with Blitzo over who could shoot more people by the end of the day. Up to now, Striker was winning.

The cowboy casually spotted Octavia, who by then looked like she'd snap at any second now. He couldn't blame her, the show's musical number was rather bizarre.

"How come that pervert hasn't noticed his daughter is not enjoying himself at all?" he asked Blitzo casually.

"Not our business, Strike. We're their bodyguards, not their family therapists. Speaking of which," Blitzo shot an assassin in the back before he could stab Stolas. Blitzo smirked. "That makes it four on my count, Striker."

"Let's save that for later, Blitz. Looks like the mare's finally kicked." Striker motioned to Octavia as she fled the tent, Stolas following closely behind.

"You should find Jakey. It's Millie and Moxxie's watch, anyway, they can go keep an eye on Stolas."

Striker nodded gratefully and left the circus tent. Surprisingly, it didn't take him too long to find Jake, Moxxie, and Millie. They were at a shooting game booth. Judging by the enraged look in Moxxie's face and the 600 souls in the vendor's hands, the wimp just got scammed.

"Hey, dad! You won't believe what I did, I petted a dragon!"

Striker chuckled and petted the boy's head. "I'm glad you had a great time, kiddo."

"Hey, you, cowboy! You look like ye might be better at shooting this sad little fella."

Striker frowned. He knew from experience that these booths were rigged to scam customers out of their money at the vendor's leisure. He had a better idea. Smirking, Striker pulled out his pistol and handed it to Jake.

"Show them what you got, kiddo."

The impling's face lit up. He pointed the barrel of the weapon at the carnie to give him a fright before shooting all of the targets with flawless precision in quick succession. The bullets went right through the targets, leaving big holes. The carne was reduced to a trembling, frightened mess.

"H-Hey, take it easy, p-pal…" he stuttered nervously as Jake pointed the gun at him again.

"That's my boy!" Striker laughed, patting Jake's shoulder.

"Now I think," Moxxie sneered as he leaned unto the counter. "That you owe us a thing."

Something crashed through the roof of the shooting gallery and on top of the carnie. The group leaned in to take a look.

"Sir?" Moxxie asked.

Striker sighed once he turned around and found the theme park literally on fire. "Really, Blitz? I leave you alone for a second and you screw the damn place up?"

"Oh, hey guys!" Blitzo seemingly didn't hear him as he drew his pistol. "You should probably go, uh, make sure Stolas is okay. I got some… unfinished business to take care of."

The group dispersed, with Millie quickly grabbing her plush thing. Strike quickly picked Jake up and moved out of the way as Blitzo fired at the burning robot; the thing caught the bullet in its mouth and curled up to roll towards Blitzo in a fiery charge. Blitzo jumped out of the way just as the robot hit the booth and it exploded in an inferno of green flames.

"Um, Dad, should we lend Blitzo a hand?"

"I suppose so lest he ends up blowing the whole place up with us inside."

Jake smirked as he spotted the dragon from before on the loose. "I got an idea!"

Striker knew what the boy was thinking. He wasn't sure if it was such a good idea, though; he's dealt with wild hogs, hellhorses, and many fauna, but never a fully-grown Hellvern. Then again, he's always liked challenges. He had Jake climbed onto his back and cling to his neck.

"Hang on tight, my boy, this will be one hell of a ride!"

Grabbing a discarded rope and tying it into a lasso, Striker expertly threw it over the dragon's neck and pulled, tightening around its neck. When the animal reared back and spread its wings, Striker took advantage of the momentum to pull himself onto the Hellvern's back.

"Easy, there! I'm your new master now!" the cowboy shouted over the Hellvern's angry shrieks, pulling the ropes tightly in the manner of reins. It wasn't that hard, as the Hellvern had already been tamed. Otherwise, it was like riding a giant version of Bombproof.

"Woohoo! Can we keep the Hellvern, dad?!"

"I already got enough with a Hellhorse, kiddo!"

Striker led the animal through the green inferno, eyeing the crazy robot going after Blitzo. Millie and Moxxie were shooting it, but it was far too fast for bullets. Striker couldn't contain an excited 'yeehaw' cry as he whipped the Hellvern forward and it snatched Robo Fizz right before it could run Blitzo over; the animal threw Robo Fizz into the air before eating it whole.

"Got a new mount, Striker?! Can I keep Bombproof?!"

"In your dreams, Blitz!"

They barely made it out of Loo Loo Land before it was consumed by flames, then made a run for it before anyone could identify them as the people who destroyed the place. Mammon would look for heads to roll before the day's end, after all.

*HB*

"Best… Day… Ever…" Jake laughed in-between exhausted pants as they got home that night.

Striker fell on top of the couch, groaning in exhaustion. "We're taking the rest of the week off, kiddo. If Blitz calls, tell him Bombproof has a cold or something like that, but I'm not moving from this couch."

Jake joined his father and snuggled against him. "Thanks for taking me to Loo Loo Land, daddy."

"I'd say 'anytime' if the park hadn't been reduced to ashes." Striker chuckled, eyes closed as he wrapped an arm around his son.

As Jake snuggled into his father's arm, he thought about what Millie had said back at Loo Loo Land about.. "Hey, dad?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I ask you something? "

"What?"

"Well…" Jake took a deep breath. "Do I have a mom? I mean, Millie has one, Moxie too, Blitzo… Even Stolas's daughter has a mom. I've never seen any pictures and you've never told me about her…"

Jake trailed off as he heard snoring. Dad had already fallen asleep. He must be really exhausted, Jake thought. I can ask him some other time. I'll let him rest for now.

…

Striker didn't open his eyes until he was certain that Jake had fallen asleep; then he carefully cradled his son in his arms and carried him upstairs all the way to his room. He carefully tucked Jake in as quietly as possible; Jake shifted a bit, but otherwise didn't look like he'd wake up anytime soon. Striker smiled as he stroked his son's hair.

It's not that he didn't want Jake to know about his mother. He wanted to tell his son about the wild-spirited, strong-willed woman that stole his heart. He really did. But he just couldn't find the words to explain what had happened to her. Just even remembering her was like adding lemon and salt to an open wound. Striker would tell Jake about his mother eventually, just not now.

The cowboy carefully placed the stuffed dragon he had grabbed from the shooting gallery in Jake's grasp, carefully leaning in to kiss the boy's head.

"Good night."

*HB*

Well, seems there's been a hint about Jake's mother. What do you think happened to her? I might go into details later on.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

I can see in your face that you mean it

Guess whose back. Back again.

Yeah I had a bad anxiety day so dived back into some old comfort media and decided to finish off a fic I started back in my intital Nightrunners obsession phase.

It's fluff and smut and emotions and if you like it, please consider leaving a comment over on Ao3!

-------------

Oh Aura, he’s beautiful.

Seregil would have thought, hoped maybe, that after months of pining after Alec and everything they’d been through, after finally getting him into bed and opening his heart in a way he’d never done before, he’d be done with this. That there wouldn’t be moments when his lover’s eyes caught the morning light or he grinned in that way that showed the slight gap in his front teeth or he’d feel his soft hair run through his fingers and Seregil’s heart would drop like he was half a child again and didn’t recognise the taste of love. And in his mind he’d just sigh he’s beautiful.

Except now he got to feel the second heart throbbing behind his own with it’s own silly, dizzy, free falling love and Seregil would get to follow it with and he’s mine.

Five days since their first together and none had been exactly like any other. Each one had been unique as Alec’s confidence grew and he began to ask for more, push further, move into the spaces Seregil left for him. He was as quick a learner as he’d ever been though Seregil couldn’t remember ever being quite so delighted by it. Maybe as he’d watched him learn his letters and read his first books while delight dawned in his eyes, perhaps that would come a fairly close second.

But when he closed the door to their Watermead room behind him and flicked the lock across with a reassuringly heavy metallic thunk, turning to see Alec already sprawled naked across the bed, Seregil thought maybe it wasn’t that close at all. Because what could compare to this?

Gods above, he’s beautiful.

“Come on,” Alec stretched out a hand to him playfully, a needy whine in his voice that may have been part of the game and may not have been, “I’ve been waiting for ages, how long does ‘one last cup of beer’ take?”

“When it’s as good as Kari’s? Quite a while,” Seregil smirked with amusement, coming over and catching Alec’s hand in his own, “And besides, I was trying to make it slightly less obvious what we would be doing. Trying to save what little of your modesty was left after you tore up the stairs as soon as dinner was done.”

Alec blushed a little but not as much as he might have done a few nights ago, “Everyone in the house already knows...and besides, you promised me something new.”

“That I did, talí,” Seregil raised Alec’s knuckles to his lips, “I would add that it’s only if you're willing but judging by how you tripped rushing up here- everyone saw that, by the way- you’re more than willing.”

His cheeks now the bright cherry colour Seregil knew and loved, Alec shivered, “You said perhaps we could go a little further…”

Seregil nipped at the inside of his wrist before letting go so he could make short work of his own clothes. Wearing any scrap of material while his lover was so pleasingly naked was unbearable. As he did, Alec rolled onto his back, stretching like a contented cat as if to make absolutely sure there was no possible inch of him he hadn’t seen. They’d been repairing and painting fences that day, there were still scrapes on Alec’s palms and knees from their work, white wash on his hairline he’d missed as he’d scrubbed off the marks from their duelling with paintbrushes. Little imperfections, lingering traces of the time they’d spent together, like a map Seregil was eager to follow.

Gods, he’s just so beautiful.

Twice in one night, what was happening to him?

Now undressed, Seregil nudged Alec’s legs open enough that he could kneel on the bed between them, “Not so much further, my talí, I won’t be asking a lot of you. I just...well, offering you some more of me?”

Alec’s eyes widened at the edges, as he gazed up at Seregil, “Oh. Like, um...like the tavern board?”

Seregil grinned, he really owed some of his green lantern friends a drink if they were ever back in Rhíminee, “Well, not quite as athletic as all that. And strictly just the two of us. But in essence? In mechanics? Yes.”

There was a soft inhalation, a flush creeping down Alec’s neck, “So...me...me in you?” Just saying the words sent the flush bleeding down across his collarbone.

“That is the way I’m used to doing things though I’d certainly be interested in covering all of our options, as it were,” Seregil tilted his head playfully, “Another night. For now, I thought this would be a little less daunting.”

Alec’s teeth snagged his lower lip, his clever mind clearly working behind his bright eyes as they slid down the length of Seregil’s body. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t rather smug at the look of hunger and want that swiftly gathered in them.

“I’m willing to try,” Alec murmured eventually, his smile coming back quick and coy and daring, “As long as you promise I won’t be hurting you.”

Seregil raised an eyebrow and let his own eyes wander shamelessly, focusing between Alec’s open legs, “Well...it’s your rather superior equipment against my experience, isn’t it?”

“Oh hush!” Alec snorted, kicking out at him lightly, “I’m serious!”

Laughing, Seregil caught him by the ankle, pressing kisses along the inside of his leg, “I promise I’ll tell you if I need you to slow down or hold still. Communication, yes? Just like we talked about.”

Alec nodded, melting into the touch, growing pliant and supple. He knew this, he’d grown pleasantly familiar with such attentions to Seregil’s joy. And where his lover’s limited experience ended, Seregil could take his hand and lead him.

So he took his time, devotedly ensuring Alec was boneless and purring contentedly, soft and relaxed everywhere but between the legs. Only then did he pull back and go for his pack, left carefully within reach just over the edge of the bed. He drew back, holding a small bottle of oil made in red glass and shaped rather fancifully into a heart, stoppered with black wax.

“What’s that?” Alec asked, now watching every one of his movements very carefully.

“Ah,” Seregil slipped easily into his instructing voice, naturally holding the same tone he would if he were introducing Alex to a new type of lock, “When people make love in this fashion, a little extra help is required to allow things to move easily. That’s what this oil is for. Very important, particularly from my perspective.”

“Oh, to his credit, Alec was blushing less ferociously each time, “And, um...what do you do with it?”

Seregil smiled indulgently, eyes sparkling, “Why don’t I show you, talí?”

He opened the stopper with his teeth, holding the bottle at a height so Alec could watch it ooze thickly onto his fingertips. In the low candlelight, it shone like glass fresh drawn from a blower’s oven, it moved like honey.

Immediately, Alec sniffed, eyes brightening, “It smells nice...what is that?”

Seregil chuckled, tilting the bottle back to stem the flow once he judged he had enough, “You’re not getting away that easily. You tell me.”

“I thought we were making love, not a lesson,” Alec wrinkled his nose but he wasn’t one to miss a chance for praise, “Um...roses. Vanilla. Oh, those yellow flowers that grow in the Oreska House park, I can’t remember their name…”

“Ylang,” Seregil supplied, beaming proudly, “Well done, my love. This is the finest stuff from the Street of Lights so it’s scented. I expect we’ll have some leaner times in the future but fortunately there are a lot of other cheaper options that work just as well.”

He worked as he spoke, working the oil between his thumb and fingers, warming it a little. In moments, the air was filled with that rich, floral smell, the kind of scent you could get drunk on. Alec inhaled deeply, watching closely so he didn’t miss a moment of what Seregil was doing.

“And that stuff goes where exactly?” he breathed, curiosity and lust making him a little impatient.

“Plenty on your cock before it comes anywhere near me,” Seregil hummed, “You may think I’m flattering you, talí, but I’m perfectly serious. You’re one of the more...physically gifted lovers I’ve had.”

“One of?” Alec muttered as Seregil shifted, lazily stretching out onto his back then propping himself up on one elbow, stretching his legs out across his lover’s. Alec took immediate advantage, running his hands up Seregil’s calves, enjoying the play of muscle there.

Seregil either didn’t hear or chose not to hear, continuing, “But first my body needs some preparation. Other times this can be your task, if you like, but for tonight...just watch and learn.”

Alec nodded hard, his attention now fully caught on Seregil’s hand, two fingers shining with the oil, and it’s path down between his open legs. He’d spent the last five nights exploring every inch of his faie’s body but he still felt a slight shiver when he was allowed to see these most intimate parts of him, when he was allowed to feel some sense of ownership of them. Five nights was not nearly long enough that Alec’s pupils didn’t widen, his breath didn’t quicken, his mouth didn’t dry at the sight of Seregil sinking first one finger into himself, then two. He wasn’t sure an entire lifetime would be enough.

“Gods…” he murmured, apparently unconscious of the naked awe on his face, “And that...that feels good?”

Seregil rather thought his rapidly hardening prick answered that question but he was charmed nonetheless, “Yes. There’s a spot a little deeper, hold on...ah, there, right there...not strictly the point of this but gods, yes, it feels good.”

His voice grew more strained and breathy as he brushed his sweet spot, as he coaxed his muscles into slackening, scissoring his fingers and chuckling at the expression that put on Alec’s face as he watched, enraptured and practically salivating. He’d started leaning forward, apparently not realising that he was now sat right up off the bolsters.

“That’ll do,” Seregil eventually sighed, drawing his fingers back, “If it were you, I’d give you a little more but I rather like when it has a bit of bite to it.”

“Now me,” Alec reached for the oil, still in Seregil’s other hand, clearly eager to progress.

But Seregil sat up quick, holding the red vial just out of reach with an amused smirk, “Ah ah. Sit back, talí.”

Alec swallowed hand but did as he was bid, hands flitting to his chest where they waited like anxious birds. He watched, wide eyed and breath coming in snatches, as Seregil poured oil on his trembling erection from a few inches above, giving a strangled moan as the cool liquid met his burning skin.

“I want to make the most of this,” Seregil purred, “The first time I get to have you share my body...I won’t rush this, talí.”

Alec’s youth flashed through for a moment as he stuck his tongue out but then fell quiet as Seregil’s fingers caught the oil dripping down the side of his cock, working the slick across the flesh. Both of them seemed to realise the importance this night had taken, maybe feeling it in the talímenios bond humming with love and need between them. They would have hundreds of nights together over their long lives, they would know each other in so many ways, but everything would have a one and only first. And that was cause to hold your breath, bare your heart and pay attention.

Seregil kept his attentions brief and light, remembering that Alec had the stamina of someone very new to sex. He stopped as soon as his lover’s cock was shining in the rapidly dimming glow of their bedside candle.

“How…” Alec murmured, pupils now wide enough that little of their blue colour could be seen.

Seregil smiled indulgently, “You lie back, talí. It’ll let me set the pace of things and I want to see your beautiful face.”

That made Alec chuckle as he slid completely onto his back, making room for Seregil to mount him, to bracket his hips with his knees. He didn’t sink down just yet, taking a moment to admire his young lover’s face, the anticipation and surprise at a new, unfamiliar desire. Seregil lightly touched Alec’s cheek and, there again, that thought.

Oh Aura, he’s beautiful. How can he be so beautiful and not know? How can he be so beautiful and be mine?

Alec just smiled, turning his head slightly and kissing the tips of Seregil’s fingers, tasting rose and vanilla. Either the thought hadn’t made it across the talímenios bond in its entirety or Alec had simply heard, he’d glimpsed the insecurity that lay not all that deep beneath Seregil’s crooked smile and had swept it into the pile of things he loved about him without a second thought. Like it could be so easy.

“I love you,” the words were rawer than he’d intended, bursting from his chest like a bird fleeing through a bent bar in its cage. He’d said it before and he’d meant it but this time it came from the very soul of him.

And Alec smiled, bright as sunlight, meaning it just as much but finding it so much easier, “I love you too, Seregil.”

Dark strands of hair falling in his face, Seregil had no answer to that but to reach back and take Alec’s cock in his hand, guiding him inside him as he slowly sank down. Any more words and he felt he might explode. But this he could do, he could give Alec his body and gladly.

Alec gave a strained moan as soon as the head of him pushed past the tight ring, face tensing, “Gods...oh gods, Seregil…”

Seregil took a deep, slow breath, allowing and not forcing his body to stretch to accommodate Alec. There was pain, just an edge to it, the kind he had always loved about this act. Eventually, inch by inch, he took him down to the hilt, shifting both hands to brace on Alec’s chest.

“You’re so tight, fuck…”

Seregil gave a trembling, breathy laugh, tilting his head back, “Just give me a moment, talí…”

Alec held obediently still, even as a low moan echoed through his chest. His blonde hair fanned about the sheets like a sunburst, his jaw clenched tight, his eyes fixed on Seregil’s face with such devotion. He looked almost godlike, something to be worshipped.

Finally, Seregil felt ready, moving his hips slowly and then gradually faster. Each time, Alec pressed against his sweet spot, direct and undeniable, pulling a high gasp from him at the peak. Eventually he felt his talímenios move too, angling his hips to meet Seregil’s movements, near lifting him clear off the bed. He could only express his approval in a broken, wanton cry, drawing his nails down Alec’s chest.

“Oh talí, my talí,” he gasped, high and wild, falling forward so his hair fell in a waterfall about them, pulling him into a desperate kiss that was lavishly returned. He bucked wildly now, body instinctively seeking release.

“Seregil…” Alec keened into his open mouth, “Fuck, I...I can’t…”

“Let go,” Seregil gasped, pressing their foreheads together, “I’ve got you, it’s alright.”

“I...Seregil...fuck,” he near screamed the last few words, whole body snapping taught and rigid, hands flying up to seize his lover’s hips hard enough to bruise, holding him in place as he flooded him with heat.

Seregil cursed in Aurënfaie as he fell, bare seconds behind, painting Alec’s chest and chin in spatters of white. Not just their bodies but their bond thrummed as if set alight, pleasure almost painful to hold like you weren’t sure your body could hold it. But finally, just at the point where it would become too much, it peaked and both men were left panting and shaking.

Somewhere in it all the candles had finally guttered, Alec and Seregil coming back to their own minds in darkness. Outside, an owl called out a sweet, lowing song.

Alec moved, catching their lips together again, kissing him now gently and sweetly. Sergeil was helpless in his hands and his tenderness, feeling small and soft and safe above all.

“That was...gods, that was incredible,” Alec eventually murmured, his voice raspy and fractured, “What in the name of the gods was I doing for a year when we could have been doing this?”

Seregil laughed, feeling Alec soften and slip out of him, letting him fully sprawl across his lover and fully give in to his exhaustion.

“We have hundreds of years to make up for it, my sweet. Don’t you worry.”

Alec sighed happily, that thought giving him so much comfort as he threw a leg over Seregil to press him closer, “I don’t know how you do it. How you make me feel so brave so I can do things I never thought I could.”

Seregil pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, “I don’t make you brave, talí. I just remind you that you are.”

Alec sounded like he wanted to argue but was too tired, just embracing Seregil all the tighter, “Do we need to bathe now? After all that?”

“We should,” Seregil admitted, sighing and forcing himself to roll onto his back, “Especially me. You’re running down the backs of my legs…”

Alec wrinkled his nose and groaned, throwing his arms over his eyes as Seregil made himself stand, “Why is making love so messy when it's two men?”

Seregil looked over his shoulder, intending to make some wry comment but it died on his tongue. Alec had let his arms drop, revealing his face. Edged in what moonlight could creep past the curtains, his face flushed from exertion, gloriously naked and open and honest. Smelling of roses and sex, conquered and triumphant. Everything Seregil had told himself he didn’t deserve and yet here it was.

“What?” Alec was looking back at him, a soft smile playing on his lips, “You keep staring at me.”

Seregil inclined his head, padding back over to the bed and kissing him again just because he couldn’t imagine doing anything else at that moment. When he was done, he drew back just enough that he could see his lover’s face, knowing Alec could feel his love just behind his own heart.

“You’re just so beautiful.”

[clockworkgraystairs]

Christmas Dinner || Jurdan X-mas in July

AHHHH there is more Christmas!Jurdan!!!!!!!!! 🎄🎄

Rating: T

Summary:  The Duarte's are hosting their Christmas dinner and Vivi sets a trap for Jude to bring his boyfriend and introduce him to the family.

I guess this can be considered a little prequel to You got me trippin? 

This is also my first time posting somethin in 1st person sooo...let’s see how it goes lmao

Tags:  @jurdannet @jurdannetrevels @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @sweetlyvillainous @aesthetics-11 @thesirenwashere @jurdanhell @demydreamer-otaku-and-book-lover @nightbringer @b00kworm @mysweetvillain @thefolkofthefic @yafandomsdotnet @vanessa172003​

[if you wish to be tagged/untagged or if I forgot to tag you pls let me know!]

A massive thank you to Becca @sweetlyvillainous​ for betaing this for me!! Love u 🧡

Masterlist             Read on AO3

This is a terrible, terrible idea I keep repeating myself.

If I’d shown a little more steadiness with my sister I wouldn’t be in this situation. I knew she was nervous about presenting her girlfriend to the family, specially to our father. And because she is extra as hell, she couldn’t choose another date that wasn’t on Christmas Eve. For weeks now she’d been texting me, grumbling about how was she going to be able to pull it off. I told her to relax and just go with it.

What I didn’t expect though, was for Vivi to arrive out of nowhere to the school where I work, talking nonsense about me bringing a fake date to dinner with hopes of taking the attention away from her. 

After spending 15 minutes trying to convince her it is not necessary for me to do that, her insistence is such I end up babbling how bad that idea is since I already have a boyfriend, and fake dating someone else would certainly create problems.

Big mistake.

Looking at me with something like betrayal in her eyes, now she starts questioning me about that boyfriend who I’d never talked about before. I bite my lip. When it comes to personal stuff I prefer to keep it private, even with my own family. I have my reasons. 

And just because luck is not on my side today, in the middle of her inquiries I hear a faint “Hey, babe!” behind me. I groan. Of course. Of course he had to arrive in that moment. 

We both turn to look at him. Cardan approaches us wearing that mischievous grin reserved only for me, so different from the polite smile he uses with his students. His hair is tied up in a bun as he also wears it for work, few curls escaping it in the most adorable way. 

With a pang of panic, I notice Vivi noticing how dumbfounded I’m looking at him. Her eyes light up in a way that I know means nothing good. I frown at her. 

“I was looking for you on the cafeteria, one of your students told me you were here.” He pauses. “I- didn’t notice you were busy though, sorry.”

“Not at all!” Vivi says with exaggerated enthusiasm. “I’m Jude’s older sister, Vivi! You must be her lovely boyfriend.”

“Oh, yeah I am. Nice to meet you!” If I didn’t know him so well I wouldn’t notice the slight blush on his cheeks or the way he looks at me in contained alarm.  

It’s too late by the time I put the pieces together. When I realize what is about to happen, my sister is already handing Cardan a rolled piece of paper.

“I came to make sure Jude invites you to our family Christmas dinner! She’s so absentminded sometimes isn’t she?” 

I’m going to kill her. Slowly.

Horrified, I stand there and see Cardan take the invitation, grinning. His polite, charming smile.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” He says. “Thank you so much Vivi.”

My sister turns to me and whatever look it’s on my face makes her hesitate. Although, not enough. She claps her hands once and makes an excited squeal. “Well I must go now! But I’m so excited you’re coming to join us Cardan, see you there. Ciao!”

With that she turns and leaves.

-

So here we are. My boyfriend driving by my side, as we are about to arrive to my parent’s house.

My knee bounces without control as I twist my scarf between my fingers. At any moment now, I’m sure my heart is going to bolt out of my chest. 

“Jude dear, is everything ok?” He asks. I notice I’ve been quiet almost the entire road.

I turn to look at him. He looks dashing, even if it’s not a strictly formal dinner he always finds a way to dress as it was. Black ensemble and green scarf that stands out his pale skin, though his nose and cheeks have a touch of color because of the cold weather. 

“Yeah it’s just... My family is a little,” I pause. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

We are not the type of family that introduces romantic partners, ever. My twin sister tried to do it some years ago with a terrible and embarrassing outcome. At some point in the middle of breakfast, she’d asked her daddy to pass the salt. Both our father and Locke moved to grab it at the same time. What came next, well… if that Locke dude had restrained himself to make a sarcastic and really tacky comment about it, maybe he would still be welcome in the house. Alas, he is not. 

Ever since that day, every time someone brings a guest to the house my father gets in a mood that is pretty uncomfortable for everyone. Sooner or later he makes everyone run.  Not exactly the first impression I want Cardan to have. 

We’ve been together for some time now, about eleven months. But the topic of introducing our families has never been on the table so far. I know he comes from a problematic family even if he doesn’t talk much about them. As for me, I have to admit I’ve grown so attached to him that I’m terrified of Madoc, or any other of my relatives, scaring him away.

He takes my hand in his, warming it, and smiles softly. “It’ll be ok. Breathe.”

I sigh, hoping he’s right and grip his hand tighter.  

The inside of the house looks as if Santa’s bag had exploded. There are lights and ornaments everywhere. Even the tree is bigger than previous years. A delicious smell of food fills the place. As I stare in awe I hear voices coming from the living room.

“Jude? Is that you?” Hurried steps sound in the wooden floor and a few seconds later my little brother appears wearing an absurd red and white onesie. He crashes against me and I laugh, hugging him back.

“You do realize that’s for little kids don’t you?” I ask. “It looks good on you, though.”

Oak scoffs and pulls back. “Well of course it does. I look good on everything.”

Cardan chuckles next to me and for the first time my brother notices him. His eyes and mouth open widely, blinking at him and then turning back at me. Once. Twice.

“Jude,” He murmurs. It cracks me up how shy he can get around new people. “Who’s this?”

Ah, here we go. I take a deep breath and grab Cardan’s hand again. 

“Don’t be rude,” I warn him. “His name is Cardan. Cardan, this is my brother Oak.”

Cardan greets him, extending his hand to him. Oak shakes it, visibly puzzled. “And Cardan is…?”

“My boyfriend.” 

A slow, mocking and devilish smile spreads on his face. I swear to god that kid was taken out from the movie Cheaper by the Dozen. All the shyness is suddenly gone.

“You and Vivi are really trying to give dad a heart attack today aren’t you?” He turns to Cardan and adopts a serious expression I almost believe. “Please tell me Jude doesn’t call you daddy.”

“OAK!” I hiss. I look at Cardan and he gazes back with amusement, I notice he’s biting back a laugh. 

“WHAT? I need to know earlier if I need to take my phone out, last time I didn’t have time to record when dad…” He motions with his hand. Yeah, I remember.

“She doesn’t.” Cardan affirms. Mimicking my brother’s mischievous smile he asks. “Is there a story there I need to know?”

Oak hesitates, even though I’m sure he’s dying to spill it out.

“Taryn would kill you.” I remind him.

“She’s not coming. For what I’ve heard, either it’s Locke’s turn to visit his family or something about dad running him under the car if he dared appearing. I’m not sure.”

Great. 

“What if I beat you at Mario Kart?” Cardan asks, pointing at the console resting next to the tv. 

Oak squints at him. “Are you challenging me?”

“It’s not a challenge when I know I’m going to win.”

Turning to me, my brother grins. “I like him.”

-

I know this is the first time I’ve brought someone home, but still I don’t know if I should be offended at my parent’s surprised faces. Oak had to tell my mother twice that Cardan is my boyfriend before she nods in understanding.

On his side, Cardan is being the full gentleman. To be fair he always is, but I notice the extra effort he’s doing today. It warms my heart. The only sign of nervousness I notice in him are occasional deep breaths he takes when he thinks no one is watching.

We get to meet Heather too, who is adorable and I honestly don’t know how on earth she fell in love with my lunatic sister. In a matter of minutes Cardan is already friends with her which helps with her evident tension. Vivi seems to relax as well. 

Christmas music plays on the background as we eat. This is probably my favorite part of the evening. Don’t get me wrong, I love gatherings with my family but food calls me on a spiritual level. Cardan knows it too, chuckling at my excitement while I’m serving us mashed potatoes. 

“So, Cardan.” My father starts, serving the wine. My heart leaps in my chest, oh no. “You met my daughter at work?” 

He nods. “Yes sir, I arrived there about two years ago. I teach preschool and first grade.” Winking at me he adds. “Jude used to hate me.”

Madoc turns to me, frowning. “What happened?” I roll my eyes, classical worried dad.

I take a long drink from my wine and shrug. “Nothing, he stole the ‘best teacher award’ from me, on his first six months. I’m pretty sure he bribed the students that year.”

To my surprise, my father barks a laugh. We all stare at him wide-eyed. 

“Keep repeating that to yourself, love.” Cardan teases. “It was a clean triumph.”

“You’ve always been competitive Jude, that’s no secret.”  Vivi adds. “It’s nice to finally meet someone who can pull up with that.”

I turn to glare at her. You and I are going to talk later. She sticks out her tongue at me. 

“Do you guys have sex?” 

“Oak!” My mother shouts as my father and I both choke on our wine.  

-

When Cardan parks the car outside my apartment it’s already past midnight. 

Surprisingly, this turned out to be one of the best Christmas celebrations I’ve ever had. My boyfriend somehow managed to not only avoid any uncomfortable moments around my family but also to wrap them up around his little finger. With jokes and tales about us the night had passed incredibly fast. 

Toasts were made, hugs and gifts were given. By the end, we were sprawled on the floor wearing silly sweaters and watching the merciless Mario Kart match between Oak and Cardan. It ended up in a tie. Rematch was already set for New Year’s Eve.

It was everything I never thought it would be.

“Well, did Vivi’s plan work?” Cardan asks.

I turn to find him already looking at me with a knowing smile on his face. Still, it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“C’me on, you weren’t really planning on inviting me to your family’s dinner. Something was surely going on the day she gave me the invitation.” 

Sighing I whisper. “I’m sorry.” 

He knows me too well, more than I even know myself sometimes.

“Don’t be, it’s not a topic we usually discuss.” He shrugs, reaching my hand with his. His thumb makes slow circles on my skin “Still, I should’ve asked if it was ok with you. Forgive me if I crossed a line.”

“You didn’t. I just wasn’t planning for you to meet my family yet.” I regret those words the moment they leave my mouth, knowing how they sound. Cardan doesn’t let go of my hand but he stops his ministrations. “Wait, that wasn’t…”

“Jude, it’s ok.” He says, turning to the windshield. I know him well enough too, and notice the touch of sadness behind his words. 

“No it’s not. Please listen.” I insist, my heart is beating fast now. That look on his eyes is exactly what I tried to avoid the whole night. “The reason why I wasn’t thinking to introduce you to my family is that they’re ridiculously hard and annoying with every new person that visits. And this is the first time I took someone home and…I don’t know, I-”

“You thought I’d leave?” He turns his gaze back to me, warily. 

At the beginning of the day I did. But I don’t find the words to admit it, so I don’t answer.

After a moment of silence he asks “Do you want to know why I agreed to go?”

I swallow and nod. Cardan inhales deeply..

“We’ve been together for some time now. And you know, you must know, I’m not playing around Jude.” I start to say something but he silences me with a soft finger against my lips.  “I love you. If I agreed to whatever scheme your sister had in mind it was because I wanted to show you that I’m not going away. No matter what.”

“My family…”

“They love you. It’s only natural for them to ask what my intentions are… and maybe tease us about it too. I’m willing to admit your dad is a little scary. But not enough to make me run away.” He winks, cupping my face.“There is nothing on earth that would make me want to run away, Jude. That’s how much I love you.”

Feeling my eyes sting I blink. “I love you too.”

We’ve said those words before. But I find that they acquire a different meaning, somehow deeper. My chest is suddenly too small to hold everything I feel for this man. He’s not going anywhere. He loves me. I’m grinning like an idiot and I’m proud of it. 

I lean to rest my forehead against his. “Since it’s our first Christmas together… and you already met my family.” His smile widens at that. “Would you like to stay the night?”

“There’s nothing I would like more.” Cardan angles his head to give me a kiss that I accept gladly, coiling my arms around his neck.  “I usually spend Christmas alone, I guess it’s time for new traditions.”

We remain entwined for some minutes, it fastly turns into something hotter and desperate. I’m already straddling his hips when I pull back a few inches. I bet my lips are as swollen as his. He is looking at me with hunger… and love.

“How about a tradition in which we spend Christmas night undressed and watching some crappy Netflix movies?” I suggest.

My toes curl when he leans to bite my lobe and purrs. “Yes, please.”

[aladdinthefortuneteller]

Weight Gain With 4 Simple Steps

Gain Weight With 4 Simple Steps

1) Eat High Calorie Foods

You probably heard this a million times before. If it was this easy you wouldn’t be looking here to gain weight.

I’m going to give you some unorthodox foods you probably haven’t tried before. Thus, your weight gain journey will be much easier.

Why should you listen to me?

Cuz I have been there. I was a super skinny kid up until my university years. Then, throughout endless research, trial and error, I managed to bulk up to 105kg.

On a side note, I was 65kg when I started uni.

I did this over years. However, it took me so long cuz I was making mistakes.

Alright, let’s get to work. These are the high calorie foods that will bulk you up in no time. These foods should be in your daily diet to gain weight.

1)Peanut Butter

Peanuts and peanut butter contain nutrients that may boost a person’s heart health and improve blood sugar levels.

Depending on how much you eat in a day you can put on pounds during weight training or bodybuilding.

Protein. Peanut butter contains 7.02 grams (g) of protein per 2-tbsp serving. This is essential ingredient for us to put on quality mass.

Magnesium. With 57 milligrams (mg) of magnesium, each serving helps towards the RDATrusted Source of 400–420 mg in men. Magnesium plays a role in over 300 chemical processes in the body. Including putting on muscle.

Phosphorous. Each serving contains 107 mg of phosphorus, which is about 15.3 percent of the RDA of 700 mg for adults. Phosphorus helps to build healthy cells and bones and helps to produce energy.

Zinc. A serving of peanut butter provides 0.85 mg of zinc. This is 7.7 percent of the recommended daily intake of 11 mg for men.

Niacin. Peanut butter contains 4.21 mg of niacin per serving, which makes a useful contribution towards a person’s recommended intake of 14 to 16 mg.

Vitamin B-6. With 0.17 g of vitamin B-6 per serving, peanut butter provides almost 14 percent of an adult’s RDA of 1.3 mgTrusted Source.

Can you see one thing from these ingredients? Yes, all help to produce energy, and the more energy our body has, the more it stores. This is how we gain weight.

Don’t think like: “Oh okay, I will eat a spoon of it here and there.” NO! You have to eat loads of this to gain weight.

I remember eating 5-6 table spoons a day which really made a difference.

You are not a normal person! You have to get out of your comfort zone to make a difference.

My suggestions is at least 4 table spoons a day with meals.

2) Weight Gainer

Weight gainer should be one of your go to snacks. I scoop of weight gainer contains redicilious amount of calories full of carbs, protein and healthy fats.

The best part about weight gainers is they are cheap! Also way cheaper than whey protein.

I recommend making a shake with banana, weight gainer and 2 spoons of peanut butter.

You can visit this page to find high-quality and top-rated weight gainers. My personal favorite is the chocolate flavor.

They mix up with almost everything and taste amazing! So, buy one of them and you will thank me.

Don’t forget, these are called weight gainers for a reason. They pack on mass quick. BUT, the important part is to not replacing them with meals.

Always eat your solid meals first and before you go to sleep make a shake with banana, weight gainer and any other ingredient you like.

Even if you are full after the meal, you have to consume a shake. That way your muscles will repair during the night.

Also you body will store the extra energy.

3) Milk

The nutritional composition of milk is highly complex, and it contains almost every single nutrient that your body needs.

One cup (240 ml) of whole cow’s milk with 3.25% fat provides

Calories: 149

Water: 88%

Protein: 7.7 grams

Carbs: 11.7 grams

Sugar: 12.3 grams

Fiber: 0 grams

Fat: 8 grams

Some athletes consume 2 liters milk per day to put on as much mass as possible. I don’t recommend that. But, you can see why they do that.

If you have lactose intolerance, you should consume lactose-free milk.

By the way, I used to put milk in my before-bed shakes. Including weight gainer, banana, peanut butter, and 2 glasses of milk.

That shake will make you strong as a bull and will guarantee to turn you into a bodyguard. If you don’t feel like puking, you can drink milk instead of water.

I had many friends who did this technique. It takes time to get used to. But once you get used to it, people won’t recognize you.

2) Eat Till You Are Uncomfortably Full EVERY MEAL

When talk to a hardgainer, they always mention the time they ate the whole large pizza.

But when I ask them what did you eat for the rest of the day, nothing comes out.

This is the issue. If that one large meal you ate recently was gonna cut it, you would not be here.

BECAUSE,

This is the simple reality.

You have to feel uncomfortable after every meal. To gain weight and put on the quality mass on your frame, you have to eat till you are feeling sick.

So, the uncomfortable feeling you have after a huge meal, should happen after every meal of the day. Not just one meal.

How Many Meals A Day To Gain Weight?

Speaking of meals, I subscribe to eating at least 4 big meals a day.

Assuming you will have the pre-bed shakes, that will make 4 huge meals plus a giant shake. So, that puts you around 3k to 4k calories a day.

All in all, I want you to feel like ”If I take one more bite, I will have to go to the hospital.” EVERY MEAL!

3) Gain Weight By Exercising Less

This might not include all of you.

BUT,

I am talking to the ones who love running on the treadmill. The more you run and the excessively you train, the more weight you lose.

The trick is super simple. Keep your weight training under 45 mins. Also, don’t do cardio. Never, Ever!

If you are doing any sports, avoid spending calories doing cardio. You are better off lifting weights under 45 mins.

This way you will be able to utilise precious calories to build muscle and gain weight.

If you really love running, and can’t live without some sort of cardio or outdoor activity, just walk.

If your heart rate elevates, your body starts burning calories. Especially, ectomorphs like you and me, we literally destroy calories in minutes.

So far, we talked about the duration of the exercise and the type of the exercise.

Now, let’s cover how much you should train a week.

The optimal scenario is to train 4 times a week. WEIGHT TRAINING. You can get away with 3, but less than 3 will impact your apatite.

Also if you go crazy and train everyday of the week, your body will have no time to recover and muscle.

We don’t want that!

4) Sleep Less To Gain Weight

Look, I’m not saying drink 5 energy drinks at night.

You are here for my unorthodox weight gaining tactics. So listen tight.

I figured this out after I graduated and started working. This led me to sleep very early and I wasn’t able to add another meal to my diet.

Including me, some people can only eat so much in one sitting. So my solution was to add meals instead of increasing the portion size.

Going back to the story, since I was sleeping so early I wasn’t able to squeeze in another meal in.

That day I decided to stay up a little bit later to smash my next meal.

Benefits?

The upside of this is you can also do extra work. Study, watch movies, read, hustle…

I became more productive and gained mass. That was a win win for me!

I urge you to try this. Sleep less than you usually do. The more you stay up late the more you get hungry.

It gives you the room to eat and more time to sneak in snacks.

If you liked this article please make sure you share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Trumbler, LinkedIn and Instagram.

https://menshealthprotein.com/gain-weight-with-4-simple-steps/?fbclid=IwAR3ZVejp1xqqIN9IQ8lX--UvdaUSo1Y5a4F3FVcktioqw0v_D2VyZUy_bfg

[softboywriting]

Christmas Lights | Peter Mendes | Mendes Triplets AU

Summary: Taking a chance on Peter Mendes may be the best thing you do this Christmas. [fluff] [triplet au] [college au]

Word Count: 4k

|Masterlist In Bio|

Making friends on campus is hard when you don't know a single soul in the town you've moved to. St. Augusta college has the exact major program you've been looking to get into. You spent two years back home at your community college doing your prerequisites since it was far cheaper than doing four to six years at St. Augusta. The only downside to college in a small town is that everyone seems to know each other and they aren't really looking for new friends.

Christmas is approaching and you've been planning on going home for the holidays but you can't exactly leave your cat alone in your apartment for a few days. Bugs is not exactly one for traveling either, so a three hour car ride home would be absolute hell. You decide to stay, to wish your family Merry Christmas via video chat and open presents with them that way. Well. That's the plan anyway.  

Thursday, four days before Christmas, you win tickets to go see the light display at the park in town. It's a huge event and people come from all over to see it. You honestly didn't think you would win and you only entered because you figured it would be something fun to do other than sit around your apartment and watch Netflix.

When you pick up the tickets at the administration office you find out that it's a pair of them. Wonderful. You've got no one to go with. For a moment you wonder if you should just give them back, to have the secretary redraw the winner. Surely a couple would love these. You know if you were still with your ex boyfriend you'd love to. No. You'll find someone to go with.

So the hunt for a companion begins. You text the girl you talk to in your psychology class, having her number from a project you worked on together a few weeks ago. She's got plans. You text your friend Amie back home to see if she wants to drive up for the weekend and hang out. Nope. Her car is broken down. Just when things look bleak you remember the community board in the courtyard of your apartment complex. There were always postings on there for lost dogs, tutoring, and private classes of all sorts. Why not just see if someone wants to go with you?

You get back to your place and take a seat at the computer. Bugs jumps up on your lap and headbutts your stomach. "You wanna go with me Bugs?"

He meows.

"Yeah I didn't think so. I'd probably look like a freak walking my cat on a leash."

He purrs, flopping over on his side and covering your legs.

You open up a blank document and sigh. Alright. This may be a new low for you, but hey, maybe you'll make a really good friend. You type up the flyer and even add a few clip arts of Christmas lights along the bottom. It has your school email address on it in case anyone wants to contact you. You were going to put your number on there but thought better of it. You don't want some douchebag sending you nudes or something.

One brisk sprint to the community board outside later and you've got it posted. Now you wait. If no one replies then you'll go alone and give your spare ticket to some kid in line at the display. Here goes nothing.

____________________

Saturday morning you wake up with you phone blinking with a notification. You grab it and slide up to unlock. It's your email. Your school email. A surge of excitement courses through you and you're hoping someone has replied to your bulletin.

You open the app and flip through some emails from your teachers about assignments due after the holiday break. Sure enough there is one that's from a student. You can tell because it doesn't have a name attached as a contact like the staff emails do. It just says unread from pmend2580@staug.edu.

Hi, I'm Peter. I saw your post on the community board. If you're still interested I would like to go.

You chew on your lower lip, nervous about going. What if this guy is a creep? You can bring your pepper spray. Maybe you can assess him by showing up early to the community board and seeing if he looks like a weirdo. Not all creeps look like a creep though. Okay. You're not being fair. Not all guys are bad, besides if you don't reply to the email, he probably won't show up right? He'll just think you've found another companion.

All day you contemplate emailing Peter back. Do you want to go with a guy? Maybe you should wait and see if a girl wants to go. But then again, you didn't specify your gender on the posting. So he doesn't even know if you're a guy or girl. Well that changes things. You're gonna do it.

Around dinner time you email Peter back. You tell him to meet you at the board on Christmas Eve around six and that you're going to be wearing a white coat. You still don't reveal your gender, just in case. _____________________

The time has come. You put on your puffy white coat, boots and a pair of gloves. You give Bugs some kibble and head out to the community board in the courtyard. There aren't very many people out there, a few groups of people talking near the decorated trees at every corner of the yard. There is no one by the board and you're kind of disappointed but relieved. Maybe he would flake out.

"Hey, are you the one with the tickets?"

You turn and you're met with a guy quite a bit taller than you. He's got a mop of curly brown hair, flushed cheeks covered in freckles and greenish hazel eyes behind some cute round glasses. He's in a bulky pink hoodie with a jean jacket over it just like he said he would be. He looks familiar, you're pretty sure he's in one of your classes.

"Peter?"

"That's me." He pulls his hand from his hoodie pocket and you shake it. "I'm so glad you replied back. I really want to see the lights, I just don't have the extra cash for a ticket this year."

You smile big and he grins right back. "I'm glad you replied too. I didn't really want to go alone."

"Then why'd you buy the tickets?"

"I didn't. I won them."

"Oh! Gotcha. Well, let's go? We don't want to miss it."

"Right. Do you want to walk or..." You look over at your car in the lot and wonder how much gas you have.

Peter shrugs. "It's a short walk. Like twenty minutes tops?"

"Probably, and I wore my boots." You look down at your old black snow boots. "They're pretty comfortable for walking."

"Let's get to it then!" Peter says excitedly, patting your shoulder. "No time to waste."

_____________________

The walk to the park proves very interesting. You learn that Peter is studying to be a photographer and does photos for the school newspaper while also doing some freelance work on the side for a couple of students with blogs. Both of you love hot chocolate with cinnamon in it. You both love the color pink, and you both have cats. His is a girl named Peach after Princess Peach from Super Mario. He is also in your business management class, and you can't believe you didn't pay more attention to him. He's so cute.

When you get to the park you show your tickets at the booth and they let you skip the line to get in. Once inside you can't believe how much it has changed since you visited once as a kid. There is a ten foot tall reindeer, life-size snowmen with tophats, and a small replica of the eiffel tower that's all lit up with tiny star shaped lights and a big star on top. It's incredible.

Peter tugs your arm and you follow him over to where an old woman dressed as Mrs. Claus is handing out flyers. "We have to do the scavenger hunt."

"The what?"

"Hello! Join the scavenger for a special surprise at the end of tour of lights!" Mrs. Claus says, handing a flyer to you and a few kids who are nearby.

You look over the list. "Find Santa's belt, Rudolf's nose, the elves stockings, Mrs. Claus's glasses, and the magic Christmas bell. Take a photo with each object and show at the end of the tour for a special Christmas surprise."

Peter takes the list and looks like a kid in a candy store. "They changed it up this year. This is going to be so much fun."

You can't help but smile. Peter has turned out to be the best companion you could have hoped for so far. "What is the prize at the end?"

Peter looks up from the list. "No clue. It changes every year. Last year I got a stocking."

"Oh that's actually kind of cool. I figured it'd just be like one of those big candy cane sticks or something."

"Nah, they go all out." Peter looks around the park. "We should start the hunt, we don't want to be the last ones to find everything."

"Why not?"

"They could run out of prizes for the night. Plus, I want to stop by the elves workshop and get some hot cocoa." Peter puts his arm out and you take it, looping yours under his. "Let's do this thing."

_____________________

The scavenger hunt is a blast. You and Peter literally comb through every display trying to find the items on the list. So far you have found the elves stockings and Mrs. Claus's glasses. Rudolph's nose is your next target as you head for the sleigh display.

Just as you reach the sleigh you see the last person you ever expected to see. Your ex boyfriend Blaine. He's got his latest fling on his arm, some tiny little thing with dark hair. Honestly you have no idea why he ever dated you. Every girl he's dated since you, there's been five in the last nine months, has been your polar opposite. You're not sure if it's him trying to not think of you or if it's that those girls are his type and you just weren't.

"Can we look for Santa's belt?" You ask, stopping mid stride and Peter looks back, clearly confused.

"We're right here though?"

"I know...I just don't want to do this one yet."

Peter walks back to meet you and crosses his arms. "You're avoiding someone."

"What? No, I-"

"Oh come on. Who is it? Family? Ex best friend? Ex boyfriend?" He looks around at the people nearby.

You sigh and roll your eyes. "It's my ex boyfriend if you must know. I'm surprised he's here considering our hometown is three hours away."

"Oh, dramatic." Peter puts his arm around your shoulders. "Which one is he?"

"The guy over there with the Steelers hat on with the girl attached to his arm." You point out Blaine, clear as day.

Peter nods and pushes his glasses up. "He looks like a douchebag."

"He is."

"Why'd you date him?"

"Small town? He was the best I could get?"

"Ouch." Peter laughs. "Well, you wanna make him jealous? I can be your pretend boyfriend for a while."

You look Peter over and he holds his arms out. "You are way more handsome, and you're definitely bigger." You chew on your lower lip. "I do want to get back at him."

"I'm all yours." Peter laughs. "Sounds like he really hurt you. I'm all about getting back at a douchebag."

"Alright. Yeah. Why not?"

Peter wraps his arms around you and walks you toward the sleigh display. He grabs your gloved hands and holds them close to your chest. It's actually nice. You haven't been held since you were with Blaine.

"There's Rudolf!" You point to the front of the light display and sure enough it's Rudolph but his nose isn't lit up.

Peter pulls you toward a big present box nearby. It's got a lid like a chest. He lifts it up and you grab the huge pom pom like ball out of it. Rudolph's nose.

"Wanna pose for a picture together?"

"Yes." You pull out your phone and hold it out while Peter leans down behind you, both of you holding the pom pom as you make goofy face and snap the picture.

"Oh hey," Blaine says as he approached with his girlfriend. "Crazy seeing you here."

Peter wraps his arm around you and holds you against him, pressing his face into your hair. "Do we know you?" What a power move.

"Crazy? I go to school here." You roll your eyes.

"This is your ex?" Peter asks, as if you hadn't already told him. He's playing along very well.

"Yes." You lean your head back against Peter's chest. "Why are you here Blaine?"

"Date night." Blaine grins, kissing his girlfriend grossly and for way too long. "It's so romantic here, and Christmas Eve is the perfect time to see a light display. I couldn't imagine bringing my beautiful girl anywhere else."

Peter rubs your side obviously reading into how tense you've gotten with Blaine's asshole demeanor. "Isn't it the best? I brought her here for our six month anniversary." He looks over at you with a smile, having really put emphasis on six months and you bite your lip. "We're going to dinner afterwards, the steakhouse on tenth street. They do a Christmas Eve special for couples. Reservation only."

Blaine looks annoyed, and one upped. Which, honestly he has been because Peter is really selling the lie. "Funny, we were gonna do that too. Guess we'll see you there."

"Really?" Peter grins. "Because the only restaurant on tenth street is a McDonald's. Get over yourself and stop being a dick in front of your ex."

Your jaw drops and Peter threads his fingers between yours. He walks you away from Blaine and you can't help but let out a laugh in astonishment. Peter just destroyed him in a matter of seconds like it was nothing.

"I can't believe you did that," you say, looking back at Blaine and his girlfriend who's yelling at him about something. Probably for embarrassing her.

"Yeah, well, he was being a dick. You could tell he was trying to rub in that he was on a date with someone who wasn't you. I can't stand guys like that."

You lean your head against Peter's arm. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that, I could have just walked away."

"What kind of fake boyfriend would I be if I didn't defend my fake girlfriend?" He laughs and you laugh too. What a crazy night it's been.

_____________________

You and Peter finish the scavenger hunt and go to the prize booth to show your photos. The worker hands you both a lidded box that's wrapped up like a present and you step aside to open it and see what you got.

"Fuzzy socks!" You squeal, holding up a pair of fluffy candy cane striped socks.  "These are awesome!"

Peter opens his box and he's got a pair to but they're green and red. "I'm not sure these will fit me, but you can have them." He looks down and sticks his tennis show clad foot out. "Maybe they will?"

"You'll have to see." You turn in your gift box at the little drop off bin for people who don't want to take it with them. "I suppose it's time to go back home now."

"Yeah." Peter pushes his glasses up. "I had a great time. Thanks for letting me go with you."

You chuckle. "I almost went alone. I didn't know if you were some creep or not. I'm glad I did email you back though. You're pretty cool."

"You are too. And I promise I'm not a creep." Peter crosses his fingers. "Swear I'm normal."

"You're a goof."

"Yep. That's me." He loops his arm under yours and the two of you head for the apartment complex. You really are glad you decided to say yes to him. This night was incredible, even though you saw Blaine, it was still great.

_____________________

"Any plans for Christmas?" Peter asks as the two of you stand outside the front door to your building.

"Nope. Just me and Bugs video chatting my parents some time in the afternoon. They've sent me a few gifts in the mail so I've got some stuff to open."

Peter runs a hand over his hair and bites his lip. "Well, if you wanted to, my brothers and I are making breakfast and stuff. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I brought a guest over."

"Do your brothers live with you?"

"Yeah," he turns and points at the building to the left of yours. "We share one of the penthouse apartments."

"Fancy." You raise your eyebrows. "Those things are like super expensive."

Peter smiles sheepishly. "They are, but all three of us have full ride scholarships and Raul got a massive grant. We all pay our part from our grants pretty much but Raul pays a little more since he wanted the big apartment."

"Ah, I see. Well...can I get your number? I'll text you if I am able to make it?"

Peter pulls out his phone. "Of course."

The two of you exchange numbers and say your goodbyes. You head up to your apartment, smiling to yourself. Peter is kind of awesome. You finally feel like you've made a friend. Christmas miracles do exist.  

_____________________

Christmas morning. It's snowing heavily when you wake up. Bugs is on your head, asleep against your hair. Your phone lays on the pillow beside you, notification light glowing. You grab it and turn it on, seeing two messages. One from your mom saying Merry Christmas and one from Peter telling you their building security code and there is a photo attached.  

You open the photo and it's him in a Santa hat and the ugliest sweater you've ever seen. In the background there is another guy, his brother you assume, and he looks super similar. Maybe Peter was a twin. You reply back with a photo of Bugs in his little Christmas sweater you had put on him last night.

After a call with your mom and dad, making plans to video chat around one in the afternoon, you decide to go over to Peter's apartment. He's been sending you photos all morning of the food and you just can't resist. He's such a dork but he's so genuinely cute.

You bundle up and cross the courtyard to head to his building. Peter meets you at the front door and you laugh at his reindeer print pants. "You didn't have to come all the way down here."

"Yeah, I did." He chuckles as you walk down the entry hall. "I sort of forgot to mention something."

"Uh oh. What?" You stop short of the elevator doors. "Is there where you tell me you're a crazy psychopath and you're gonna eat me?"

"No!" Peter's face goes white but he quickly realized you're joking. "No, no no no. Okay that sounded bad. Okay no, I just forgot to tell you about my brothers."

"What? Yes you did, you said they live with you?"

"Not that. I mean, we're triplets."

"Oh!" You laugh. "That makes sense."

"What?"

"Well, in your photo of your Santa hat I saw one of your brothers in the back ground and I thought he looked super similar to you."

"Oh. Yeah, that was probably Shawn. We look the most alike." Peter pulls out his keycard to the elevator and swipes it to go up. "Raul still looks like us, but his hair is darker and he's got a little bit more angular of a face. Anyway, they're really excited to meet you."

"Why's that?"

Peter rubs his neck and blushes. "I don't bring a lot of guests over."

"Like just female guests or?"

"Any really. My brother's always tell me I'm antisocial. Whatever."

You step out of the elevator and Peter heads to the left. "I wouldn't have guessed you're antisocial. You're pretty talkative with me. You told me about so much yesterday."

"Yeah well, you're easy to talk to." Peter pushes open the door to the apartment. "And-"

"Damn Peter!" One of the brothers says as you walk in. "How'd you manage to get the balls to talk to her?"

"Shut up Raul," Peter says, throwing a pillow at him from a nearby sofa.

Raul stands and walks over to you. "I'm Raul. His older brother."

Peter rolls his eyes. "By minutes."

"Every second counts." Raul smirks and shakes your hand. "Merry Christmas, welcome to our shithole."

"Raul!"

You stifle a laugh. "Merry Christmas to you too. I was told there would be breakfast?"

"Just missed it. I ate it all." Raul says with a shrug and a tummy pat. "Christmas morning munchies."

"Oh shut up," Peter says and motions for you to follow him to the kitchen. You do and Raul flops down on the sofa laughing at his own dumb joke. "Shawn, this is the girl I told you about." He introduces you and you shake Shawn's flour covered hand.

"Hey, welcome. We've got a ton of food, please eat. It's just us." Shawn says, gesturing to the counter with plates of pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon.

Peter hands you a plate from the cupboard. "Don't be shy okay? I promise none of us will judge you for eating a bunch or something."

You take the plate and grab some of everything. "Don't worry, I'm starving so I won't be shy."

_____________________

Post breakfast the guys open gifts. There are quite a few under the tree and you're surprised to find there are three for you. Considering you just met Peter yesterday and the other two today, it's a shocker. How could they even know what to get you?

"How...how do I have gifts?" You laugh as Peter plops a small red box in your lap.

"Well, last night I went out and got some stuff in case you did decide to come over. I really hoped you would, and I didn't want you to feel left out."

"That's so sweet." You lift the lid and inside is a little bag of cat toys and treats. "For Bugs!"

Raul chuckles and hands you another box. "Open this one."

You tear open the small box and inside is a hot cocoa mix in a mug that says Meowy Clawsmas. All of you have a good laugh at that.

Peter hands you the last box and he's flushed.  You give him a look and open it. Inside is a flat small envelope. "What is this?"

"Just open it," Peter says.

You tear open the little seal and inside are two printed tickets to the ice rink downtown. "Ice skating?"

"I think Peter is asking you on a date," Shawn says from where he's cleaning up wrapping paper on the couch.

You flush, warmth spreading across your cheeks. "You want to go out with me?"

"Y-yeah. The light display was so much fun I thought maybe... y'know, we could do something like that again." Peter pushes his glasses up and clears his throat. "It doesn't have to be a date. We can just go as friends, or if you want to go with someone else that's okay."

"Peter."

"Yeah?"

"I'd love to go out with you." You lean forward and give him a hug. He seemingly melts into you, big hands coming up and resting on your back. "Relax."

Raul and Shawn let out a little chorus of awes.

"Thanks for not making Christmas suck this year." You laugh, pulling back and pushing Peter's hair out of his face. "I'm glad I took a chance and invited you to the light display."

"Me too. Merry Christmas," he says with a smile and you smile back.

"Merry Christmas."

_________________________

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed this and reblog to support and encourage myself and fellow writers. Next part coming soon! - A

Custom header per part made by the incredible delicateshawn

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

[moshintheteagaiwan]

Loose Tea in Supermarkets

So you went to your local grocery store or specialty supermarket and found a ton of loose leaf teas for sale. While skimming through the teas you find a tin of Japanese sencha priced at $6.99 for 150g and think to yourself, “Oh wow! That other tea shop wanted $9.00 for 50g. What a rip off!.

But the question you need to be asking yourself is why such a big price difference? Well there are several possible explanations for this price difference. There is a chance that the other tea shop has a high mark up on their product, and are just looking to increase their profits. BUT, from my experience the main reason in the price difference is because of the quality of the tea. And usually the proof is in the cup. If you were to buy a tin of this supermarket sencha and compare it the sencha of the other tea shop, I’m willing to bet you that both in appearence and flavor, the two sencha’s would be like night and day.

Generally speaking when you are buying from a high quality loose tea shop, the prices will be higher for various reasons. The small shops have several things to factors into the price of their product such as import fees, rent, wages, packaging, advertising, and of course the cost of the tea itself. These small high quality shops usually try and spend the little extra to source the absolute highest quality teas they can afford, which is no cheap task. And they do this in order to offer a product that stands out from the competition and also lives up to their high quality standards.

Grocery stores and specialty supermarkets don’t have all these things to factor into the cost of their teas. Tea is not the main product they offer or main source of income for these stores. Therefore these stores don’t take the time to source the best quality teas. They can purchase cheap, prepackaged, low to medium quality teas with a small price tag, and usually that is exactly what they do. Tea for these store is just another add on product they can offer you while your out getting your essentials.

Now on very rare occasion, mainly at specialty Asian or Indian grocers you can find a good quality loose tea for a very cheap price. The teas however are very few and far between, but none the less they are sometimes possible to stumble upon. But at the end of the day the main thing you need to understand, especially as a new loose tea drinker, is that quality is key. And you have to pay for quality just like anything else whether it be food, electronics, clothes, ect. If you want a good tasting tea with excellent health benefits and that will give you the best tea experience possible, then put out the extra couple bucks. But if all you care about is have a tin of loose in your cupboard to offer to guest who don’t like bagged tea, or flavor is not a big factor to you, then these cheaper teas might be your best route.