#'short posts' and then i failed

[princessmacedon]

Parts Unknown

When she wakes - or rather, when she opens her eyes to a new dream - Maria sees a blood red sky, though she know sky is not the right word; it is the light of that ruinous glow seeping through tendrils of smog atop the bones of what must once have been a glorious city, and it tells them at once just what sort of world they have come into. 

It does not take long for them to separate into smaller groups, shock and awe quickly stifled for the more important task of finding their bearings. She, for her part, joins the patrol of Ares and Valter, traipsing across the unfathomably large chunks of fallen debris or scurrying through the crooked shadows they leave behind. Warmachina or small game - they will take whatever they can find.

Or, as it happens, they will take what finds them. The strange flying machine is unsubtle in its approach, the sound it makes as it charges them an unsettling hum, but in spite of this, or rather because of it, Maria summons a pillar of light to smite the fiend in an instant. 

“There,” she breathes, lowering her hand as the thing falls to the ground in a useless heap, seared and torn. Approaching it cautiously, she waits for it to fall silent altogether, and then a moment longer, ere she kneels amongst the wreckage. The little cleric holds a hand over the glowing core - no heat, oddly enough - then prises it from its home. 

“I think... this is what we’re looking for?” 

@lionscion

[mysecretwindowuniverse]

Nygmobblepot Text Meme

[eldest-of-katts]

okay because people have shown up in my dms talking smack I'm going to make one blanket statement on the 1000 year loli chilchuck thing.

yes, there has been a problem with young girls being put in suggestive positions in anime with the "uhmmm she's actually a bajillion years old" excuse. yes, other characters don't treat chilchuck like an adult. yes, he is short with big eyes.

However, chilchuck consistently acts like a grown man. he- in both the manga and the anime- straight up just is an adult. He looks like an adult when he is any other race during the swaps in the manga. When the other characters get turned into half-foots they look similar to chilchuck. He is explicitly stated to have more dungeon and general life experience than laios, and he acts like it.

The 1000 year loli trope explicitly functions as an excuse to prey on people who are inexperienced and unable to advocate for themselves. Chilchuck is a parent, is a union organizer, has explicit boundaries that he enforces rigidly, and he is treated as an adult man by everyone who doesn't have a fantasy racism-focused character arc/issue.

I can see how if you haven't read the manga and seen that he has an established life that he later reveals (and haven't paid attention to him in the anime lol) you could get a mistaken impression about him. Marcielle does too in the source material! It's part of her character at the start of her arc that she has issues with longevity!

The thing that irks me a little about this interpretation is that it leans into the child-coded discourse that was prominent a while ago (she's short!!!!! but has boob???? ILLEGAL!!1!) and it does a disservice to the themes of infantilization as a policy maneuver hurting the working class.

I saw chilchuck and his labor advocacy for half-foots both as a metaphor for racism (obvious take ik) and for ageism.

The working gen z as a cohort are being infantilized and pushed out of job markets due to infantilization, similar to half-foots in the show. gen z is being maliciously portrayed as too young to vote, enter office, know themselves, know their rights, and take advantage of their resources. Simultaneously, child labor protections and protections against workplace abuse are being rolled back in the US. In Japan, young people are being worked to the bone for nothing and are becoming disenfranchised as a generation while simultaneously expected to be the labor faction that supports the postwar generations in their old age.

Chilchuck's being treated poorly I saw as a clever commentary on the ways infantilization allows for protections to be stripped away under the guise that "oh it's just a job for teenagers- they don't need more than minimum wage" or "let the kids rescue the economy! they're always complaining about that job market!" while simultaneously stripping away rights under the guise of protection- "We can't have that on the internet! think of the children!" "to protect these young people we must raise the age of medical consent for hormones/reproductive health decisions!"

Kui's work with this series spoke to me on many levels, and specifically, the infantilization issue touched me in a way that few other pieces of media have. The struggle to be taken seriously in a stem field as someone young, as someone female, and as someone who had a high-pitched voice to the point I did years of voice training to be taken seriously, chilchuck's character resonated. I (kinda) understand your instinct to think "SHORT! CHILD! RALLY THE MASSES AND KILL THE PEDOS!!1!" but in this case, it's misdirected- mostly because the author was trying to use this misdirection to prove something to you, the reader.

Kui consistently makes cutting commentary on modern issues, the show's take on food neutrality as its headliner, but also the author's takes on cultural issues and the environment (with a focus on our place in the food web as animals). I feel that reducing chilchuck's very conscious position as a tradesman and an activist discounted due to his apparent age down to "1000 year loli ewwww let's send this random tumblr user suicide bait" just displays a lack of critical analysis of the show and a level of disrespect towards Kui and the work as a whole.

TL:DR- stop sending me kys messages I'm fucking that old man

[ffc1cb]

some parslies from my sketchbook and then some. and then some dill

[governmentmandatedryujinstan420]

releasing this from the hj discord dungeon because the public populace was in agreement also i'm chronically offline on tumblr and need to fix that for my chronically online ahh

[human-encounters-diary]

Day 14

I have received…indifferent news about the human‘s state, by which I mean, I cannot describe her current state, as I have not received any actually comprehensible further information.

Wrin has decided to pay the human a visit at the beginning of this cycle. After they returned, they sought me out to report back, despite not single word about my task being uttered in their proximity.

They leaned against the wall next to me without a word, so after a few moments, I spoke up: "How is she?"

"She seems alright, at least she‘s most definitely not about to die.", Wrin responded, taking a swig of the bottle in their gloved hand.

"Would you be more specific?", I requested.

"Well, I don‘t know, I asked her how she was doin‘ and she said she was 'peachy keen'."

My front pliers uttered a rattling sound. "And…what does that mean?"

"If I knew", Wrin said, taking another sip. "I haven‘t known her for that long either, and I don‘t know anything about humans. She does that weird thing sometimes though, when you‘re talking to her, and she says something that is true but kind of sounds like a lie? I dunno, might be that."

"Would you care to elaborate?", I repeated, slightly suspecting that Wrin was already too intoxicated to form coherent thoughts.

"Kind of like…y‘know, sometimes it‘s also the other way around, and she tells a lie, but kind of in a mocking tone? I don‘t really get it either. Must be a 'human' thing."

Telling lies mockingly? Perhaps Wrin was simply not eludicating well enough, but I would have to investigate this claim further. Perhaps I would pay the human a visit myself, if I was permitted.

Unfortunately, before I could act any further, another technician rather desperately retrieved me to assist in the main control center, as they were, apparently, understaffed for the circumstances we are currently situated in.

Resulting in this, I did not face the human at all during this cycle, but I have received news that she has been discharged from the medical quarters, while the medicals further analyze the test results they recorded.

Furthermore, we are set to enter Fendaar‘s athmosphere in 2-3 cycles, so we will be able to let the SIIR Noxos get mended properly and stock up on necessities.

[childrenofthesun77]

Assuming that the whole 'mahiru is the vessel needed to bring back the count and the 9th servamp will be the servamp of vainglory' theory will be correct, it's interesting how both mahiru and touma can be accused of this sin even if the way it applies to them is opposed.

What touma wants is to be acknowledged and to that end he was willing to become the villain who destroyed the world before mahiru and tsurugi managed to change his mind:

Mahiru's way of being vainglorious seems a lot more positive at first because he wants to be a hero who saves others, but it's self-destructive and encourages laziness in others:

But thankfully we see mahiru starting to let go of the need to make other people proud of him and to prioritize making himself proud in his conversation with tsurugi:

and later when mahiru has a meltdown because he fears his uncle might be dead and suggests sacrificing his life to save the world kuro rightfully yells at mahiru for acting hypocritical and not listening to his own advice:

(I want to mention here that I really love how horrified kuro looks as he realizes that mahiru's reckless hero behaviour comes from a very self-destructing place:

because not a lot of manga I know really acknowledge that maybe the way a lot of their protagonists try to be heroic is actually pretty unhealthy and shouldn't be encouraged? Like Sigurd pointed out at the C3 meeting, it's kind of shameful that the children have to save the day)

Which is why I love that mahiru decided to trust kuro to handle tsubaki without him going with him:

He decides to stay back with everyone else, showing that he has learned that he doesn't need to be the one to do everything and can stay back with the others to buy kuro time.

Interestingly we see touma doing something similar. Opposed to his old need to have the whole world acknowledge him he now wishes for everyone to believe he's dead and he's helping to protect the city by creating a huge barrier without making it known that's he the one doing this:

He's helping the protagonists seemingly with no intention of earning acknowledgement for it.

I think in a way it could be cool of servamp to subvert the shouned trope that for the finale battle the only one able to defeat the big bad is the protagonist while everyone else just watches on from the sidelines, not allowed to do anything because this is the protagonist's moment of glory.

What if lily's plan when he put kuro in mahiru's path was that if kuro tried to stop tsubaki at the gate surely his eve would need to be there with him, right? Because of course he needs his eve to fight and then there's also the distance limit. So why not make the vessel you need at that gate for the ritual to work kuro's eve? Then the vessel would be at the place where you need them without you even needing to do something because naturally they would be thinking they are doing the right thing by going with kuro to fight tsubaki together. And surely someone as vainglorious as mahiru would never pass up the opportunity to be the hero who stops tsubaki. It's foolproof!

Unless of course before the ritual the vessel learned to let go of their vainglorious nature, accepted that it's okay to take a step into the background and trust in others. And additionally also found a way to break through the whole forced proximity thing that the servamp and eves had going on.

I don't know, I feel like it would be a neat bow on mahiru's character arc and a unique way to thawrt the antagonists' plans if the creation of the servamp of vainglory failed because the 'it has to be me' guy they wanted to use as the vessel decided against glory and stayed back to let his partner handle things with tsubaki alone because he trusts him. Kuro on the other hand wants to make up for his past regrets and resolve the conflict through communication this time. Learning to trust in himself again by managing to talk tsubaki out of going through with the ritual on his own would be a logical conclusion to kuro's arc.

[kateis-cakeis]

You know, something something Arthur desperately wanted to see the good in magic at any opportunity he was given.

When Gwen was first accused, when he first met Morgause, when he wanted to save Uther using magic, when he saved the woman from being burnt in that small village, when he was given a choice by the Disir, when he was determined to save Gwen from Morgana's dark magic...

(Honourable mentions include when he saved Mordred and argued with Uther about the Druids being peaceful (they are magic adjacent after all) - and well, given the second honourable mention being his remorse for the raid on the Druid camp when he was young, it's understandable that it comes from some sort of trauma. And of course, the result of that remorse was the promise that he would do everything to prevent it ever happening again, and that he would treat the Druids with respect. Hell, even with Kara he was respectful, even though she committed actual literal treason in the form of an attempted assassination of Camelot's king)

Of course, at every opportunity, Arthur's view that there is good in magic, that not all sorcerers are evil, that perhaps his father was wrong, or that his father had lied, ends up being proven wrong, at least in his eyes.

Time and time again Arthur is shown to consider magic as a more neutral force, like almost as if he's desperate for it to be true. It isn't even necessarily his fault that the opinions about magic and sorcerers that Uther taught him becomes reinforced once again.

The fact that he can even think critically about magic at all is a miracle alone. Like this man who has only ever known sorcerers to use magic for evil purposes, to destroy Camelot, attempt to assassinate him, attempt to assassinate his father, to harm those he cares about - and yet he still he still falls back on, what if magic can be good, what if we're wrong, what if, what if, what if--

And it's only when magic itself reveals himself to Arthur that he can finally see that yes, magic can be good.

Because if Merlin is good, if Merlin is the same person even with magic, then magic is neutral, and sorcerers aren't inherently evil.

Arthur was always going to accept magic, that's the thing, that's hardcoded into his character, he just needed the right push, and that push was always going to be Merlin.

Because as Arthur dies in Merlin's arms, blanketed by magic itself, he accepts that even with all of Merlin's magic, his life cannot be saved, magic cannot save him.

But he accepts it, and accepts Merlin, and he dies having brought about all that Merlin ever dreamt of, truly dreamt of, that Arthur would see him for him, and accept him and his magic. And more than that, what Arthur truly ends up doing is embracing it.

Arthur for whatever reason, perhaps because he was born of magic, perhaps because his soulmate is magic itself, perhaps because he has a heart of gold, wanted to see the good in magic at any given opportunity that presented itself, even though with all that Uther taught him, he never should have seen it that way.

It's just, it's so fascinating, and it's so heartbreaking that when he finally knew, he died. But he'll return, and I'm sure then he can build something better with Merlin, really bring magic back to a time that needs it :)

[doodlebloo]

Hiii guys.

I've already been out of my mind busy for the past few months, and with midterms happening and my thesis defense soon I may not be super active here for a bit.

As it stands now I'm not leaving this blog. This has been my home for the past few years and I love the story too much to let go. I will assess how I'll talk about Tommy/Phil/Tubbo etc going forwards based on their responses, lack thereof, info on what is and isn't allowed to be said legally, etc.

If you're reading this I love you so so so much. I am at all times overflowing with love for the dsmp/mcyt community and what it's done for me. Some of the happiest moments I've had in my life were because of you all.

Also, if you're rebranding or moving blogs or w/e and we're mutuals I'd love to follow your new account even if we share 0 interests in common now, feel free to lmk where you're headed to (if you want) ❤️

[vodid]

Pleasseeee talk about Bay Megatron being a tragic hero 🙏 I yearn for bayverse character depth (Lord High Protector Megatron my beloved)

u got it o7 anti-villain might be a more appropriate term, but in his own story he's the tragic hero i'm sure

in every single movie, megatron is purely and solely concerned with saving his planet or his people. he doesn't care who gets in the way or who can get him there; the ends justify the means and he will take any and every opportunity. despite his heroic intentions, the movies heavily portray him as an unreasonably evil guy, which just isn't fitting for his goals i feel. or rather — not surprising from bayverse — they failed to portray it correctly and in an impactful way. we had his goals, but we did not have the right presentation or emphasis for how he felt about those goals (dotm may be the only slight exception of this as it was far closer to showing the emotions of our cybertronians than the other movies) but generally, he was shown to hold a lot of resentment for optimus and sought to destroy everything, with only hints of his actual end goal there.

the first movie, he was presented as wanting to use the allspark "for evil" and killing every autobot in the process. here, he's just straight up an evil guy, having been seeking the allspark for ages, but after the destruction of his planet and their numbers depleting due to war, i'm sure fixing that became his goal. also with the addition of hating humans, because they were also getting in the way <3 they had him frozen and were using his potential babies for their menial tasks! /hj (which they created using reverse-engineered technology from him; they literally handed it to him on a silver platter. we'll see this again in a few movies)

however, the second movie (which leads me to believe what his intentions were in the first ^) he was concerned about getting energon for their youth, starving before they're even hatched, and went for the most tried and tested method of obliterating a sun for energon that i'm sure would last them for ages and through the development of their baby decepticons. optimus has to die in the process? a massive bonus! humans have to die in the process? huuuuge bonus. he gets to feed their young in the end and gain a new army of decepticons to help revive cybertron and establish a new generation? biggest bonus. no one will be able to get in his way.

the third movie, the guy lost almost everything. left with only a few of their young, he just wanted to go home and have it be fixed. this was his final chance. he went as far as to lower himself to be "equal" with an autobot prime for his major advantage over everything: the spacebridge. and with what little energy and mental coherency he had left, he went for the most extreme option of not only enslaving billions of humans, but bringing cybertron into earth's orbit. when his plan begins to succeed, he is already losing energy but feels massive relief of finally seeing his planet once more. he could finally fulfill his life's goal. sentinel got him there, but he was also about to take it from him (teehee A+ carly manipulation). and we know how megatron feels about people getting in his way !

fourth movie, he worked with what was handed to him. literally handed to him. humans made a grave mistake not only creating a bot that will essentially function like megatron, but once again, an entire array of bots (this time all activated and functioning independently!) ready for directions. the seed that would turn biological material into transformium was his ticket to creating more of these ksi bots. his ticket to reviving their species. it was a little sad how back-burnered he got in this movie tho lol he got demoted to second-rate villain harder than the first two movies combined! so again, his goals were muddied.

fifth movie, we attempt to bring cybertron back. again. and judging by the red mark upon megatron's face, he had made a deal with quintessa. or she had taken over him in some way but we know how megatron feels about mind control. but having a common goal, there was probably little resistance to quintessa and was merely marked. he is again, rather low on energy methinks and understands, with the years humans have spent living with cybertronians, they have actually become highly dangerous. he's not stupid. he learned from his past and will lay back and let quintessa do the work if that meant it would work out in the end for him. this movie was a bit more sloppy with its writing but megatron is still concerned about their home.

it's to such a severe degree, that the autobots' goal is no longer to bring back their home like many other iterations; it's to stop the decepticons from getting there first. from getting there at all. they'd rather sacrifice their home and race than to let the decepticons have it, and it's for that reason megatron had been pushed so far so many times in each movie, with increasingly dangerous and unconventional methods. call him mr. grasping at straws, but he wouldn't let the autobots goal of stopping decepticons — thus giving the decepticons a goal of destroying autobots — get too much in his way. his end goal was ALWAYS to save their planet and people.

doesn't mean megatron is good. he is still unequivocally a villain who became corrupt by the failures he endured at the hands of the autobots bent on stopping him. it just makes you wonder

[quotidianish]

do you ponder the manner of things? In the dark

the dark, the dark, the dark, the dark

[turbo-tsundere]

If I disappear for a century, that's the reason x'D

Frankly, I so shouldn't be doing this - I have a ton of WIPs as is, and not enough time, but... I really, really miss making comics. I'd also like to take actual steps towards completing more ambitious Gonta-centric projects; and this is an old idea I was regularly mulling over.

So since it's now fully storyboarded anyway, I'll keep going, even if it's gonna take a while. I may post standalone fanarts sporadically, but inking/toning all these pages is my main focus for now!

Btw. no, this isn't going to be shippy lmao. The story is rather serious tho, I'll do my best to do it justice.

[bluewinnerangel]

While I'm still mentally screaming about the My Policeman red carpet look I also wanna point out a possible intentional difference between the Don't Worry Darling and MP looks for both the press conference and red carpet.

DWD press conference (left) vs MP press conference (right), basically here the why i think he might be comparing the two if you will through outfits: the jackets are the same but in another color. And the same goes for the red carpet looks. It's pretty simple lol, but lemme explain... Remember he (and Lambert) have done so before, at the 2021 Grammy's for instance, where Lambert explained they went for "polar opposite" looks while keeping the same silhouette, and here I think something similar has been done again. (that's also what got me started on that fking color negatives bs but this isn't about that but it's part of the post so there's that) Pretty much the story is in the difference between the two, the one helps puts emphasis on the significance of the other.

Details:

DWD:

white jacket

blue nails

blue bandana scarf covering bananadicknecklace

bird ring

MP:

same jacket but black

green nails

pearls yes absolutely and dicklace on full display

peace ring

shoe model he wears at his shows

hair more his regular style

It very well could be they just didn't have much time for the MP look but basically I'm seeing details added that are much more him, much more comfortable, more harry for MP in many ways.

BUT NOW THE IMPORTANT ONE THE RED CARPET LOOKS

DWD (left) and MP (right):

Again The Same Jacket But One Is Blue And One Is Green.

DWD:

again blue nails

again bird ring

blue suit

it's all blue just like the press conference outfit

accessories: sunglasses, and I guess a shirt with pointy ends we count as an accessory bc the green goblin didnt need one.

the details make the suit look more stiff if that's the word

My Policeman

again green nails

again peace ring

same! jacket! green suit

no shirt. he naked. he bare. he babey. he all out. he-

BIGASS FKIN GREEN ASS LILY FLOWER BLAAP GREEN FUCKING-

accessories: purse, GREEN. CARNATION. APPRECAITION BIGASS FLOWER I THINK YOU SHOULD WEAR BIG GREEN FLOWERS

and here the accessoires, everything about it, brings down the squareness of the jacket? again. words idk fashion. But it's having opposite effects is the point. one makes you relaxed the other not so much

So I mean find symbolism in this the way you want to, I'm seeing a look for DWD that looks like a policeman. It looks to me like he's found a way (for himself) to put on display how he's both. DWD = work, like Tom is the policeman, and THEN there's MP, something he's passionate about, and we see the second, the green outfit, as displayed pretty much embodying a green carnation (symbolizing queerness, esp mlm), paralleling Tom who loves a man. Basically, the green carnation look is appropriate and related to the MP premiere, to his character in the movie, but by taking the look of a policeman out of that situation, and into the DWD premiere, he's added that layer of him. And not just that, also incorporating those classic (peace ring, blue+green) details we we've grown to understand symbolise his relationship with some lad dude yk.

IN SHORT: LOVE THIS GENIUS:

[sayonarasanity]

“Bury me near the seashore.”

There is a picture of a seagull on the page of the book that lies open and still on top of his knees. The corner of the page is curled between his index and middle fingers. Moonlight is pale while clouds are heavy, their motion languid, and on her face, there are shadows, flickering eyelashes on her cheekbones. Her still functional eye is dark, loud with emotions where her voice isn’t sufficient and the other one is dull and lifeless. A deep frown creates creases between his eyebrows. Soft, black hair parted, his eyes are alive, ignite. A blue fire. Maybe that is the reason why she burns with his every touch on her and her every touch on him.

The bed squeaks under her as she moves closer to soothe the sharp lines on his face with her thumb. For once it doesn’t work. And he doesn’t let her press her lips there either. “You start talking shit again.”

“I am only kindly asking for a favour.”

Levi closes the book with a loud, hard thud and Hanji winces. “Sleep.”

“Come on, Levi…” She reaches out to thug at his t-shirt. “You have to promise me.”

He doesn’t. Instead, he leaves the book on top of the bedside table and turns his back to her, ready to get up from the bed. She panics, instantly. A night without him means a night without the tiniest bit of sleep which would result in heavy headaches during boring, political meetings while she plays a role she is not fit nor asked for. “Don’t go.”

Miraculously he stops, sitting on the edge of the bed. His back is broad, and strong, bearing countless responsibilities, carrying unnumerable scars and losses. Yet at the time, with his hands dropped on top of his legs like all life had been sucked out of them and his shoulders slightly down, head bent he looks like he has just lost a battle without even having a chance to lift his blade.

“What about me?”

“Huh?”

Levi stares at the rug on the floor, raged and overused, barely containing its shape. He feels her curious gaze on his back and almost hears the question marks forming on top of her head. “Where are you going to bury me?”

The following silence causes the inhale she takes to sound even louder. The topic is unnecessary and irrelevant. Considering that they buried Erwin merely a month ago. He didn’t get to choose his grave. So why should Levi? Why should she?

Why does he have to think about burying her at all?

“Cruel, isn’t it, Hanji?”

The sheets rustle as he moves to lay on his side and covers himself haphazardly. Hanji is quiet. Just like how she has been for the weeks that passed. Levi isn’t upset at her for such a question, Hanji barely goes into serious talk without meaning it. So, if she asks him so, she must’ve made up her mind for some time. Why though? He doesn’t know. Doesn’t need to. She is his commander, and it is his duty to obey her wishes as well as her orders.

But he doesn’t want to be the one to bury her. The thought alone makes him sick. He hates it. Hanji doesn’t belong six feet under. She belongs here. Right beside him.

There is some rustling behind, she must’ve laid down too. He can feel her cold breath on his nape, but she doesn’t touch him just yet. “Sorry,” she whispers.

“It’s fine.”

Hanji hums softly and Levi waits for her to move just for a few more seconds. But the silence goes on and he lets the sounds of her breaths fill his ears for a little while. Then he sighs and reaches behind with his hand.

She grabs his searching fingers, and he pulls her closer, wrapping her arm around his waist. Her hand is secure inside his palm, warm against his skin and her lips are hot when they press a lingering kiss right under his ear. Her body is firmly pressed on his back. He can feel the rising and falling of her chest, regular like the beats of her heart.

“Why?” he asks, albeit reluctantly while also wondering if he wants to know the answer or not. Hanji rests her cheek on his nape and hums questioningly.

“What?”

His thumb caresses her knuckles absently. Calloused hands entangled. He thinks that it’s the best he can hope for in this world. Cracks fill in the cracks. What completes a shattered glass is another broken piece. “Why the seashore?”

Hanji doesn’t actually need to think of an answer for she already knows. Yet she keeps quiet and decides whether she should tell him or not. Whether she should talk about it any further. Now that she thinks about it carefully, it kind of feels selfish and not that important. What’s their end going to be like? Who’s going to die first and who will be left behind? There is no telling, no way to learn. All talk is futile when the road ahead is blurred with fog.

“I like the sound of the seagulls,” she snorts quietly, already knowing that he’ll find it foolish. “And the waves.”

Levi doesn’t respond immediately, and Hanji thinks he has fallen asleep. Though it’s unlikely. He rarely sleeps before she does. And he shifts, signalling he is still awake. “You think you’ll be able to—” He stops, abruptly and huffs. “That’s fucking stupid.”

Hanji chuckles, nuzzling closer to him. “I knew you’d say that.”

“You shouldn’t have told me then.”

She presses another kiss on his neck. “Sorry.”

He squeezes her fingers in return, and she closes her eyes. Despite the ruckus inside her head and the unknown weighting hard on her shoulders, she can feel sleep tiptoe on her slowly, and heavily. Darkness is ready to take her in and she wonders if she’ll be able to hear the cries of the seagulls and the howl of the waves in her dreams.

And then, just as she is about to surrender to the tempting darkness, he asks again, silently, “Why the seagulls?”

Hanji sighs and tightens her arm around his waist. She likes the way he fits so perfectly with her body, and she likes that he is strong enough to take an army of Titans down just by himself yet between her arms he is just Levi. Not a captain, not a soldier, not the strongest, not a weapon and certainly not a machine. But a human. A human with a beating heart, a human with a grieving soul, a human with a thoughtful mind. A kind man who frowns just a little too much. A kind man who knows her body and soul.

“Because they have something I don’t,” she says.

“Wings?” he asks, nonchalantly.

“No,” she chuckles. “You know what.”

The thing she envies the most.

Levi knows. It’s what they have been carrying around on their shoulders for all these years. Written on a piece of cloth. The thing they’ve been fighting for. It’s what, Erwin, Moblit, Mike, Nanaba, Petra and all the others had fought for. He wonders at what cost will they attain it or if they’ll attain it at all.

“I’ll promise you if only you promise me one thing in return.”

“What is it?” she asks curiously.

The old, wooden bed creaks when he moves around to face her. There is a candle on the bedside table, a feeble flame reflecting on the wall and its shadows dance on her features. One inquiring eye watches him expectedly, waiting for the continuation of his words. His eyes trace the lines of her face, soft, dark hair on her shoulders and slightly parted lips. Usually, he deems physical affection quite daring. Sometimes his body gives in to the heat of the moment and fuels with a desire that he merely lets overtake him when he is with her and it makes him follow the curve of her throat with lips and tongue, hands roaming all over her body in an almost possessive or even addicted way and she holds him so close that he can feel her heartbeat against his own. But other than that, he fights against the growing, agonizing need to touch her. As if it’s a luxury, something too precious for someone like him to have and once he gets so used to it will be impossible for him to ever stop.

But to no avail. Apparently, his fingers had a mind of their own and they never paid any attention to reason.

Her eyelids flutter when his thumb moves along her cheekbone, with a featherlight touch and his palm settles on her cheek. How can he call himself humanity’s strongest when the tiniest smile on her lips makes him weak? “Don’t make me keep my promise, Hanji.”

Sadness and sorrow don’t suit her, he thinks as he watches the way they change her smile and make the light on her eye turn darker. But he doesn’t have the strength to make them go away. Not yet anyway. “I’ll try,” Hanji says. Not a promise but something akin to it. It is the best he can have at the moment, and he’ll take whatever it is she can give him. No matter how little, no matter how weak. As long as the flame of the candle is alive it is still possible to maybe, just maybe hope for something better.

Before the storm comes crashing in and wipes away the flame along with all the hope there is to hold.

[doedipus]

a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.

it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.

[martyrbat]

if there's one thing you gotta know about me is that im always going to reccomend the story perpetual mourning aka the first story in batman black and white 1996 like legitimately nothing else about me matters more than my intense insistence that everyone should read the short story perpetual mourning from the first issue of the comic batman black and white (1996) nothing matters more to me than being an advocate for everyone reading the first 8 pages of the 1996 comic batman black and white so they can experience the story perpetual mourning