#'thank you so much you're perfect' aka relatable

[phas3d]

Hello love<33 i saw ur requests were open if it hasn't been done before can i request a Potter! Reader x Slytherin boys like the reader is Harry's twin sister?

Absolutely inlove with your writing btw🫶🫶

Potter!Reader || Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: abuse mention (tom, mattheo)

contains :: draco, tom, mattheo, theodore, lorenzo

notes :: i love this idea so much, i didn't think it would be this fun to write for - also i know neville technically killed voldemort BUT, just go along with me when i say harry killed voldemort

DRACO MALFOY

Getting a crush on someone was already hard enough for Draco to do

To be able to look past someone's flaws and finally see the beauty inside of someone

But all of that was quickly ruined once he found out you weren't just Harry Potter's sibling but his TWIN?

He genuinely gets so upset and angry not only at you but himself

He's not sure how to handle this information

But at the end, he decides that he can't stand the idea of dating Harry Potter's twin and possibly growing to be Harry Potter's brother-in-law

So he tries to avoid you at all times

But he can't, his body just won't allow him

And also, you're really good at finding him

In the end, he learns to accept it but Harry and Draco still bicker and fight

Even when you guys are 20+ years old, they still fight like siblings - which is actually perfect since they're brothers in law now

TOM RIDDLE

After Harry defeated his father, aka Voldemort, and brought "peace" to the world - he's hated his guts

Because although Voldemort was a mass murder, genocide supporter, blood racist, classist, backstabbing, asshole... That was still Tom's dad

But even then, Voldemort wasn't a great father. He was actually the worst father to ever live. For all of Tom's childhood, he was brain washed and tortured to believe his father was amazing, and sadly it worked on him

So finding out that his s/o, which was already an EXTREMELY rare sight since he can't tolerate anyone, was Harry Potter's twin....

Oh, he goes fucking insane and runs away to the forbidden forrest to "process" all of his emotions (he kills almost every animal in there out of pure strength)

Falling for the person who's related to your father's killer is not easy to handle

So,,, honestly I think Tom would break up with you and never give you a shot again

But, he still owns you - he just can't be with you duhhh

If you ever try to move on or get a new boyfriend, he simply make them "disappear"

It makes you isolate yourself from the dating world - but thank god Tom is there to offer to be fwb!

(this was his plan all along. he will never stop loving you but he doesn't have the guts to fully commit to a relationship anyways but he still wants you - so fwb is the easiest solution for him to avoid the guilt of actually dating you whilst still getting to own you in some way)

MATTHEO RIDDLE

He's the exact opposite of Tom, he actually really respects and likes Harry

After Harry killed Voldemort, he felt so free. It was like Harry got rid of the shackle that was keeping him down for so long

Unlike Tom, Mattheo always knew that what their father was doing was wrong and cruel - but he was forced to go along with the family's plans because he'd be punished if he didn't

Not only that, Mattheo and Harry both play Quidditch and are good rivals - he loves the competition

So he actually gets along fine with Harry

When he finds out you two are actually TWINS he's so shocked like omg

He wonders what would have happened if you ate Harry while in the womb or smth

And he also wonders why you and Harry aren't exactly identical (you are identical... mattheo just doesn't understand why harry has glasses and you don't....)

Doesn't mind bringing Harry on a couple of dates - But when Harry does come... it's basically like you're third wheeling

Your cute dates are ruined because these two dumbass men decide to do stupid stuff

Like for example, a cute date of mini golfing got ruined because Harry and Mattheo decided to see who could chuck their golf ball the farthest

They ended up breaking multiple windows...

Or when Mattheo took you out to go ice skating but it got ruined because fucking Harry surprised Mattheo with hockey gear

The two ended up playing hockey,,,, just a 1v1,,,, and crashed into so many bystanders that they just shut down the rink

They are now brothers for life... you must deal with this

THEODORE NOTT

When he finds out you're twins, he takes such a big sigh of relief

"Oh my gosh, that why you guys always hang out... I thought you might have been dating."

Instantly, you want to vomit in your mouth

Theo has little to no history with Harry, besides bullying Harry during their first few years at Hogwarts

But Theo was never a good bully... especially when he was younger

Because he was still learning English and had the THICKEST Italian accent that you barely understood him

One time in their 2nd year, Theo came up to Harry and insulted his nerdy glasses

But Harry simply tilted his head, "Sorry, no espanol."

From that day, it's a strong inside joke between all the Slytherin boys and Theo can never escape it

Harry's unintentional roast made Theo study English 10x times harder than he ever did before

So he's kinda grateful to him in a way but he does wanna get back at him

He's super chill around Harry and the two get along fine and dandy but nothing too special

They both respect each other a lot actually and don't cross any boundaries with each other

Since they're kinda similar actually: quidditch players, pull tons of bitches, decently smart, and "foreign" in some way

Basically: coolest in laws ever

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

Oh my fucking god these two suck each other dicks

The amount of glazing they do for each other is CRAZYYY

When Enzo finds out you're twins with Harry - he's so happy because Harry and Enzo are actually really cool with each other

They both play quidditch together sometimes, play the same games, and they love the same shows

You basically lose your boyfriend... to your brother

Everywhere you two go,,, Harry is invited against your will

Going to watch a movie? Harry and Enzo are gonna share a blanket and leave you in the cold

Going to an arcade? Harry and Enzo will play every single game against each other and even take selfies of their wins

Fuck, even going shopping, the two banter and chat while you try on clothes

One time they got bored of waiting for you to try stuff on so they LEFT YOU and went to go get MATCHING T-SHIRTS???!?!??!?!?!???

Of course,,, you and Enzo do get alone time - some times

But you honestly love seeing how strong Enzo and Harry's bond is because it makes you happy that you picked the perfect boyfriend for your family

It's even better when Harry get his yearly girlfriend (that he will eventually leave heart broken)

So now you can go on double dates!!!

And hopefully the girl that Harry is with is cool, so that way you can also share a strong bond just like Enzo and Harry

But you can't get too attached.... your brother is a man-whore after all... 😞

[ot3]

Hi, I just finished the AA trilogy with my bf and we fell in love with it! I found your blog the other day, and it sometimes feels like you're the only one giving correct takes on these characters' writing and the minutiae of everyone's inner worlds (or the fumbling of, see Godot).

I just got here, but, something that's been bothering me about the fandom's approach to the sequel trilogy is like... the imperialist undertones are glossed over, or swept under the rug. Researching "The Dark Age of the Law" and beyond puts a sour taste in my mouth. And with Khura'in the country vs Kurain the village? It all feels racist at best (the concept of the Divination Seance gives me squick). If you have the time, I'd love to hear your thoughts about AA5 and AA6 in relation to the world of AA as a whole. Thanks again for all of your thoughtful and nuanced takes on this series!

so glad to hear you guys liked the games!! thank you for enjoying my posts, i always appreciate it.

the tl;dr of it is that i do think they are genuinely bad enough additions to the franchise that they have signed mainline ace attorney's death warrant. picking out the dark age of the law stuff and aa5 and the imperialism in aa6 you've pretty much honed right in on my two biggest critiques

however i do want to say that although they're being bundled and sold as a 'second trilogy' that's not quite accurate either experientially when playing the games or from a development perspective. aa4 had scenario design/creative direction by series creator shu takumi, with the art director being kazuya nuri (responsible for character design for rise from the ashes in the series previous to this); aa5+6 was spearheaded by takeshi yamazaki, who had been with the franchise since its first game, with the slightly less tenured takuro fuse on art direction/character design. yamazaki and fuse are not without skill, but i think they're both significantly less skilled than takumi and nuri respectively and. it really shows.

pair that with the fact that aa5 and 6 fundamentally do not follow up on any of ace attorney 4's established characters or plots more than superficially, i don't think it's particularly useful to critique 4-5-6 as if they're a single body of work in the same way the trilogy is. apollo justice isn't a perfect* ace attorney game but it's a good one.

anyway i think buying into the 'dark age of the law' stuff in ace attorney 5 necessitates cheapening all of the events preceding it. the implication that 1. the law wasn't that bad before but it Is Now and 2. a single case was the tipping point for whether or not the entire legal system would be bad just ruins the times when ace attorney has managed to acknowledge corrupt systems as a massive source of problem for the everyman in the past

i think this screenshot from the dark age of the law wiki page says a lot:

For starters, that phoenix quote. He would not fucking say that. I don't think there has ever been a point during or leading up to phoenix's career where he thought the legal system had 'glory' he would then want to restore it to. you seem to get it so im not gonna harp on this too much on this but. jesus christ

then, then there's fact that even by stating the most basic details about the franchise's events undermines the whole premise. like okay notice that the corruption that happens during the trilogy/investigations spinoffs is coming from all of the actual agencies that represent law and order/the system: the prosecutors, the police, and the prosecutorial investigation committee. however in aa5 the thing they choose to paint as responsible for supposedly unprecedented levels of corruption in the legal system is defense attorneys resorting to more drastic means, and the general public; aka not the people who are responsible for upholding the legal system but the people who are victimized by it and in opposition to it.

i don't think this was an intentional choice as much as it's just sloppy, inconsiderate, and contrived writing.

aa6 is just flat out racist. 'imperalist undertones' is i would say the gentlest way you could phrase it. like. japanese characters going to a made up south asian country that needs to be taught how to govern itself to quash its internal rebellion is like. so high on the yikes meter.

making a bunch of fake 'ethnic sounding' nonsense names filled with apostrophes to make them into silly sounding english phrasing was a disastrously tone deaf thing for the localization to do. they're really unforgivable. the worst of it all is probably "Inga Karkhuul Haw'kohd Dis'nahm Bi'ahni Lawga Ormo Pohmpus Da'nit Ar'edi Iz Khura'in III" i'm unsure if the names are quite as offensive in the original japanese because i haven't looked too much into what they actually are and have a really limited knowledge of the language. but. this name in japanese is "インガ・カルクール・ククルーラ・ラルバン・ギジール・ホフダラン・マダラ・ヴィラ・ヤシマ・ジャクティエール・クライン３世" which is written in katakana. katakana is, in contrast to kanji and hiragana which are used for writing japanese, used to phoenetically transcribe foreign languages or to write loan words. so the foreign-ness of this character is being emphasized here in the original text as well.

the supposed cultural inferiority of the khurainese people is baked into the game at pretty much every level, down to the gags. khura'in has the 'plumed punisher' show, which is actively criticized by the characters in game for just being a cheap ripoff of the steel samurai. they don't even get to have their own tv.

i believe the reason the racism is pretty much glossed over a lot in the fandom is for several reasons. for starters, ace attorney fans overall tend to fall into three camps: 1. people like me who fucking hate these games, refuse to acknowledge them, and would retcon them out of existence if possible. 2. people who have found things they like about the game and have a Good Version of the characters and plots that they have constructed in their head and 3. people who view all of the hate on these games as completely overblown

the first camp Does talk about how the game is racist but we're all already in agreement about that so it's kind of preaching to the choir and a bit redundant to keep going on about. the second camp tends to acknowledge the stickier aspects of the game but focuses on making content around the elements they like rather than critique. the third camp is the type to throw the baby out with the bathwater re: critiquing a thing they like. it's all haterism to them. but either way i think its kind of fucked up how many people will be like 'aa6 isnt that bad you guys are just mean' without even acknowledging these complaints.

anyway the khura'in country vs kurain village thing is really weird to me it shows both a lack of imagination and a disregard for the series' own established lore. why would a girl from a village where almost everyone is a spirit medium need to go to a place where only, like, two people are mediums to train.

i will say though that the divination seance is kind of one of the only things i found about aa6 to be an interesting addition. for a franchise with ghost summoning and murder solving, the two have a kind of hilariously low amount of overlap so i found the idea of bringing ghost bullshit into court really fun. mechanically speaking, the divination seances also felt a LOT better to play than the mood matrix segments of aa5.

in general, i think the biggest weakness of the mainline franchise under takeshi yamazaki's stewardship is its misunderstanding of stakes. both aa5 and 6 prioritize more bombastic and impressive on paper material stakes. oh no! the ENTIRE JUSTICE SYSTEM BEING GOOD OR BAD depends on this one case! on no! we have to DEAL WITH REBEL INSURGENTS! complete horseshit when there is not competent and functional enough character writing to get us emotionally invested here. yamazaki seems to think bigger is better, and that just simply isnt true for something like ace attorney

i've pointed this out in the past when critiquing aa5 and 6 but if you look at the actual material stakes on the line in ace attorney, they're at their highest after rise from the ashes. ousting the corrupt chief of police is the most impressive and impactful thing phoenix does with his career (arguably until the jurist system, but definitely in the trilogy.) but that's not the big Finale case for his character arc. his finale case is defending his college girlfriend; a nun who lives in the mountains, whose conviction would have had zero implications on the larger fabric of ace attorney's legal system. because takumi's writing clearly shows that he understands what makes a plot impactful is the emotional stakes the characters have invested in the events.

before taking over the main franchise, takeshi yamazaki was responsible for the miles edgeworth investigations spinoffs. i do enjoy both of those games - aai2 in particular is really strong. yamazaki does a great job with edgeworth's character arc even if i have some specific gripes with the duologys writing. i think theyre solid additions to the franchise. but you can see traces of this sort of misalignment in narrative priorities here as well. for example, the last case in aai1 is notorious for still going on for, like, an entire hour or two past the time when the last remaining plot point we care about has been revealed. because yamazaki seemingly had no understanding that That was the thing the case should have been about, and that should have been the final mic drop of the game. it just keeps going! he didn't know the game was done and he added a bunch more bullshit busywork after it that no one likes!

so yeah. without going into anything even as specific as how individual plotlines or character arcs were mishandled in aa5/6 that's really my overview What Went Wrong of those games.

[somerandomdudelmao]

It's Cass appreciation time!!! Don't get me wrong, I think we all appreciate you exactly all the time, but I wanted to write it out because I'm filled with SO MUCH LOVE RIGHT NOW THAT I PHYSICALLY CAN'T CONTAIN IT.

So!

First and foremost, I think you're a wonderful person. I may not know you personally, but the way in which you go about things - not just in your comic, but the way you interact with people - just leaves me in awe. You're so gentle but in the most chaotic way possible, and it makes me so happy to be alive. You're supportive of people and the things they create, while also just... spreading the joys of not just the fandom, but so many other things too. You're one of the people on here that unites the fandom as a whole, and it's so inspiring! You bring so much love here, and I admire that about you.

Another thing that I admire is that you know what your limits are and that you take care of yourself. I see so many people these days who don't - some who just forget, some who don't realize they're doing it, and others who blatantly refuse to do so - and it's frustrating to see. I want to help them (aka: wrap them in a blanket burrito to protect them from the world, offer coping skills, give them the support they need- the list goes on), but I can't really do much of that without burning myself out. Which is why I love to see you take care of yourself - whenever I see those asks that are like "reminder to drink water / rest / take a break", it reminds me that I need to do it too, and I'm positive that it reminds others as well. That, and it's refreshing to see!

I also love how creative and spontaneous you are! The plots you come up with, as well as the characterization and overall flow of the story - not to mention the PERFECT amount of fluff and angst you give us (WITH THE PROMISE OF A HAPPY ENDING??? OH MY GOD)- leaves me floored every time! I don't know a whole lot about writing and portraying things, but I've learned a bunch just by what you do. LETS ALSO REMEMBER ALL THE SMALL DETAILS YOU PUT INTO THIS - THE PARALLELS, THE LITTLE SHOWS OF AFFECTION,AND JUST- EVERYTHING??? GHDBDKDBSJ

AHH!

You inspire me to create, and whenever I have the confidence to post what I'm working on, I'll be sure to tag you (bc all of it is related to your comic)!

I have so much to say, but not nearly enough words to fully express it! But this is also getting much longer than I thought it would, and as much as I want to sing you praises all day, there's not enough time. So to wrap this up:

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all that you do. I'm sure it's not easy - you're a whole person outside of this, and everyone has bad days - so, again, thank you. I may not know you personally, but I still care a great deal about you. Please keep taking care of yourself! Drink some water, have a snack, take a nap, make some time for yourself - whatever it is, have a fantastic time hon. You deserve it.

Keep being amazing, and I wish you the best!

Until next time, dearie ^-^

Oh god I don't even know what to say jcdtujdsukcdhb thank you yhank you thank you so much you just brightened my day I

[poppy-metal]

you get so excited when he writes back. you don’t tell your parents about him, because they never like the boys you bring home anyway, and there’s no need until you actually do bring him home. you’re quite surprised when he does reply, again another thing you didn’t think about, another display of your short sightedness.

hey

thanks for the letter. i don’t get many so yours made my day. you’re a very pretty girl. you know i’m bad don’t you? you shouldn’t be writing to a guy like me. but im happy you did. you said you think im beautiful. tell me more about what you think of me, and what you thought when you watched the trial. what did you think of that cunt of a judge? also, have you done this before? have you spoken to other killers? you have to tell me. i have to know. don’t speak to any others from now on. they might not be as friendly as i am.

yours truly

patrick zweig

aka the hamptons hatchet man xx

you kiss that letter a thousand times and sleep with it under your pillow. you spend hours crafting the perfect reply, while patrick spends his time hoarding his meds to drug guards, and begins stashing away any and all sharp objects he can get his degenerate paws on. anything to reach you before the loose men of the world do.

THE HAMPTONS HATCHET MAN..... stop because him using a hatchet.... swinging it over his head and bringing it down.... I like this visual, I'm seeing it. and thing is he mostly just killed bad people, people who pissed him the fuck off - alot of people feel sympathy for him, especially women. but most of them are cock hounds - they just want a taste of danger without actually knowing what it means. he's kind of disturbed by them. the desperation. he's definitely not the man to harp on about morals, but really?

but there's something about you - you're not horny, for one. you're kind of silly - sweet. you're not writing him because you want a "bad boy" to write you back, you saw something in him you relate to on a deeper level, you feel connected to him on an emotional level. you say you understand what it's like to feel helpless and alone and angry. you're the only girl he ever writes back.

his handwriting is shit - but something about it makes your heart full. the way the ink bleeds in places - the sharp aggressive scrawl. you kiss the paper, blot it with your lip stain.

the connection isn't sexual to start - not for you, anyway. it's not long though that your stomach starts fluttering in your belly at his crude language. a throbbing between your legs you haven't felt before. you wanted to be friends. let him know he had a friend.

he keeps saying fuck in his letters, though. keeps calling you things like sweetheart and good girl and princess - and it makes you feel funny. you feel so guilty, you've never felt this way before.

do you tell him? maybe he can explain these feelings to you. he's much more experienced and he's your friend. he would be honest with you, upfront.

I dont want you to be mad at me - but my feelings are changin' towards you. not in a bad way - I don't think. I'm not sure, actually. maybe it's bad. I care about you. you're my friend. but sometimes...... sometimes when I think about you and the way you speak to me I feel a little funny. it's like butterflies but down there.... you know in my private place. I know it's inappropriate to talk about it - mama would beat my hide for even mentioning my private parts to another man. I'm just so confused. it gets wet. almost like an ache. but not the ache I get in my stomach when it's my monthly - that's a bad ache. this feels different. I know there are things I don't understand that other people do. would you tell me? I don't like not understanding what's happening to my body. I don't think it's bad. if I had to pinpoint it - I'd say it's almost good. but too much good. I'm sorry I'm botherin' you with this. I just trust you more than anyone else. with everything. with me.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 7

edit: there is much better analysis in this follow-up post, although it does build on the stuff i wrote here

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

There were very few problems, the public killings having been good for the soldiers’ morale.

so where are the people like me in this world who would like pass out witnessing that. just too desensitized to care?

The Veretian herald was named Hendric and he had very strong arms, because banners were heavy.

Damen and Laurent were to ride alongside one another. Neither one of them had the better horse.

THEIR HORSES!! BACK TOGETHER DESPITE ALL ODDS!! because they’re definitely the same ones that fell in love during prince's gambit shut up

Damen was taller, but nothing could be done about that, Hendric had said with an impenetrable expression. Hendric, Damen was learning, had something in common with Laurent, in that it was never a simple matter to tell when he was joking.

give laurent a comedically large hammer and he’ll find a way

‘I hope the injured boy was returned to you safely.’ ‘Thank you, he returned with Paschal,’ said Laurent. For a salve? Damen opened his mouth to say, and didn’t.

throwback <3 but kings can’t have inside jokes :(

In the next moment, the horns rang out, triumphant and lonely at the same time, the pure sound absorbed by the sky and the wide open landscape around them.

“triumphant and lonely” nice detail

He remembered exactly how it had looked, and that was why he didn’t recognise it at first: the forest of broken spears was gone, and there were no gouged ruts in the earth, no men face down in the churned mud. Marlas was now a tumble of grass and wildflowers in the blowy, sweet summer weather, shifting back and forth in the gentle air. Here and there an insect droned, a drowsy sound. A dragonfly dipped and darted.

i like this :) we don’t get a lot of love for nature in this series, so i’ll take what i get. especially nice when nature represents healing and the passage of time.

Lining the hall were two dozen slaves.

oh this is going to be a headache. but it’s a headache worth having, because i’ve approached these annotations so far with integrity and fairness, and i refuse to treat this subject any differently. i don’t want to just ignore the things that are more difficult or less fun to unpack in order to get to the fun shipping stuff, i want to analyze them to the best of my ability and feel as comfortable as i possibly can moving forward.

so let’s set up some context:

1) damen has come a long way from his stance on slavery in book 1. he is actively refusing to partake in this expected custom, and finds the institution disturbing and triggering. he has developed a new appreciation for sex with truly consenting (not trained) partners, aka laurent, and can’t really go back. still, his reasons for refraining here are almost entirely based on his evolving sense of morality, not really relating to his relationship with laurent at all. for more on that moral evolution, see my analysis in chapter 4. further proof of this Really Mattering to damen is the fact that by not taking slaves, he is losing points with his own people. another great hint of his development as a king, making his own authoritative decisions rather than upholding tradition.

2) laurent does not like slavery. he does not think it is morally correct, and has made many jabs at damen throughout the series for disagreeing. he is disturbed by idea of people who have been groomed into relinquishing their own free will. if put in the situation of damen in book 1, laurent would not have been nearly as compliant or allowing—honestly, he probably would have tried to kill his master, and failing that, kill himself.

HOWEVER. vere does not do slavery. slavery had never been a relevant issue to laurent, at least until he was gifted a slave of his own and was made to deal with them in negotiations with patras. slavery is a thing other countries do, to laurent, and his current objective is make nice with a country that keeps slaves. therefore, he knows that his only real option is to keep the appearance of partaking in the custom, even if damen can get away with refusal. and i think we can safely assume that in laurent’s vere, there will be no slavery, even if he’s taking up the appearance of a slave owner now. additionally, i think we can also assume that there will be reform of the country’s pet system, which is an issue much more relevant to laurent’s lived experience.

if the stuff with laurent and slaves here was simply performative and un-indulgent, i wouldn’t need to be writing anything more here. but it is, as it is, one of the few things in the series that makes me feel very conflicted (see also: the garden scene in book 1). because while it’s true that laurent doesn’t actually use isander as a sex slave, and does have this kind of passive disdain for slavery, he does use isander in another way. he uses isander, a non-consenting brainwashed slave, as a way to make damen, who has never actually been a slave, jealous. this is an abuse of power that directly conflicts with laurent’s stated and assumed values regarding free will and individual personhood. we’ve seen things like this before, in arles, but laurent had known that damen was a prince and not a slave the entire time. but isander is a victim of this system—even if isander himself doesn’t know that, laurent damn well does. and laurent historically is someone who advocates for victims. so the fact that his morals here are being set aside in favor of a petty gesture against damen, is… disappointing. everything i said in chapter 3/4 about laurent’s mean girl era still stands: he knows he’s being shitty, and he’s doing it because he doesn’t want to be vulnerable and insecure. better to be a villain than a victim, etc. but laurent being a villain to damen, who laurent knows is perfectly capable of defending himself, is distinctly different from laurent parading out isander the slave just to hurt damen’s feelings.

it’s wrong for the obvious moral reasons, which laurent perfectly understands in the abstract. but it’s not a hill he’s going to die on here, and that’s not just because of the political advantage. this is 100% about personal shit with damen too. and sorry laurent, but slavery does not stop being wrong when it’s useful in creating drama with your ex. in fact, indulging in it for that reason specifically trivializes all of the legitimate problems with the practice. it makes laurent a hypocrite and it crosses a line, in terms of his mean girl schtick. i just want to make that clear—that there is very much a difference between laurent just being kinda cunty to damen in general, and specifically using a slave as tool in that cuntiness.

laurent is, and always has been, a morally complex and often hypocritical character. he has done things that have made me feel uncomfortable to read, like the way he treats damen in the garden scene. and that’s okay, and it doesn’t make him a bad character, or even a bad person. and to be fair, he isn’t doing any practical harm here—if he hadn’t chosen isander to kinda just vaguely flirt with in public and then leave alone in private, someone else probably would have done far worse. and that is an easy cop-out, and it’s not wrong. but still.

the problem isn’t with laurent's actions here, necessarily, but the principle. which is usually what laurent himself cares about the most, as he often values the ends above the means. politics aside, i think that laurent would readily admit post-mean girl era that the ends of making damen jealous did not, and should not, justify the means of using another human being who does not possess free will. maybe he even does that in the text, eventually, and i’ve forgotten.

(also, let’s not forget that isander may have been trained to not have his own feelings, but definitely still has them, because he’s a human being. and it probably makes him feel pretty bad to be chosen and then ignored by laurent. not that it should, because the entire thing is super fucked up, but it’s what he’s been groomed to believe. like, i did just want to throw that in somewhere, even though it’s obviously predicated on brainwashing and a lack of free will. it’s still what he’s feeling, and his feelings matter. just as much as damen’s or laurent’s.)

basically: laurent is failing to be honorable in his usage of isander, even if he’s not using isander as a sex slave as intended. his abstract values about the wrongness of slavery take a back seat to the political and interpersonal advantage of not only passively partaking in the custom, but actively using it to make damen jealous. even if laurent needs to pretend to take a slave to be politically accepted, he does not need to do All That. and honestly, with laurent’s ability to convince and command a crowd, i think we all know deep down that if he didn’t at least want to do this at least a little bit, just to piss damen off, he would find a way out of it. and that is a reality of laurent’s characterization here that i have to deal with, similar to his actions in the garden scene.

and then there’s the other thing that laurent's "performance" with isander has in common with the garden scene:

it’s hot. it’s wrong, and hypocritical, and could have been done in a way that would better suit my personal tastes, but yes, it’s hot. and on top of that, it’s also VERY funny. laurent’s performance, damen’s reactions, and isander’s obliviousness are all very, very funny. and i do want to be able to enjoy them for the petty gestures they are, and joke about them, without constantly having to throw in a “but also this is bad.” so doing this initial disclaimer feels like a happy medium to me, where i’m not ignoring the complexity of the situation entirely, but i’m also conceding that it’s not necessarily meant to be taken seriously, and it’s ultimately written for the reader to enjoy. like, don’t get me wrong, most of the slavery stuff in this series has NOT been written for the reader’s enjoyment—the values here are very clear, especially in damen’s arc—but there are still some indulgent moments. and it is fiction. and these characters aren’t perfect, nor did they create the culture of the kingdoms that they’re about to rule. and they do ultimately change the things that they, and we the reader, know are wrong.

but just like with the garden scene, i can’t quite get myself to write “so it’s totally fine to just have fun with the whole slavery thing” as a conclusion. and honestly, i feel pretty okay about that hesitancy. when i make jokes about this subject in this specific context (laurent and isander), i don’t want it to be forgotten that the subject itself (slavery) is still entirely serious. so instead, i’ll say:

this is fun because manipulative petty lamen mind games are fun. this is hot because manipulative petty lamen mind games are hot. this is somewhat intended as a backhanded insult and display of moral superiority—laurent showing damen how awful he and his culture appear to non-slave owners—but that moral superiority ultimately falls short due to laurent’s hypocritical use of a slave to make damen jealous. all of those separate pieces of analysis are true to the overall experience of reading and interpreting these scenes. it’s a mixed bag, we know it’s a mixed bag, laurent knows it’s a mixed bag, and damen knows it’s a mixed bag. the only relevant person who doesn’t know it’s a mixed bag is isander, because he’s a slave and isn’t allowed to think for himself, and that fucking sucks.

Isander was olive-skinned and lithe as a fawn, with dark hair and eyes: Akielon colouring. He shared that with Nikandros; with Damen.

yeah i’m sure that’s just a coincidence

Male, either in deference to Veretian customs, or to suit Laurent’s assumed preferences.

akielon slave owners, trying to assess laurent’s preferences:

(can you tell my heart still isn’t fully in the humor here…)

Nikandros would never offer royalty anything less than a slave’s First Night.

god, the first night thing is fucked up. in general, i love the lack of like… uh… traditionally conservative (read: christian) attitudes about sex in capri, so the few similarities especially give me the ick. i haven’t read or annotated the erasmus short story yet, but i know it’s going to piss me off too. basically, the closer we get to the handmaid’s tale, the more i want to read complicit characters dying horrifically on the page. nikandros and the other akielons are skirting by for now with the plausible deniability they have re: fully understanding how slaves are trained, but they’re on thin fucking ice.

also, lighter side question, what’s the recommended reading order for the short stories?

sweet grace of a palace slave

gag

‘I like that one,’ said Laurent.

>:(

‘Slaves are trained in the arts of pleasure, but they do not lie with another until their First Night,’ Kolnas said. ‘Here we use the same strict, classical training that is used in the royal palace. Skills are learned through instruction, and practised with indirect methods. The slave remains wholly untouched, kept pure for the first use of the Exalted.’

imagine if real-life cultural customs were built around grooming a certain group of people to be sexually submissive and modest as a thinly-veiled way to control their sexuality and ensure that they are attached to dominant societal figures from a young age without the education or free will to consider themselves actual human beings, so they can unquestioningly spend their entire lives as sex machines and domestic servants defined entirely by their responsibility to the family, and then they die and their headstone identifies them by their status as a possession of their dominant partner. wouldn’t that be fucked up

‘I never did learn how to command a bed slave,’ said Laurent. ‘Teach me.’

guys i wish i could find this hot or funny but now i’m just mad about disturbing stuff in real life that i can’t analyze out of existence. i’m taking a break and eating a chocolate strawberry greek yogurt popsicle and then i’ll try to refocus on the funny toxic gay people

‘They cannot speak Veretian, Your Highness,’ Kolnas explained. ‘In the Akielon language, using the plain form of address is appropriate. To command any act of service is to honour a slave. The more personal the service, the greater the honour.’ ‘Really? Come here,’ said Laurent.

laurent go sit in the corner.

Laurent extended the tip of his boot. ‘Kiss it,’ he said. His eyes were on Damen.

god this is so good. i hate it so much.

to be fair, there is no way to do this that would be more effective than laurent using a slave. because, y’know, damen was his “slave.” it wouldn’t hit the same with some random non-slave guy. laurent wants to fuck with damen’s head, and part of that is making him miss something he most certainly should not be missing. laurent is also fucking with my head, because this gesture is so conflictingly wrong and compelling, a word which in this case means "something i’m embarrassed/ashamed to say that i find hot."

‘Good boy,’ said Laurent, reaching down to pet Isander’s dark curls, while Isander’s eyes closed and he flushed over.

(easy joke to make, but we’re all probably thinking it) damen:

(also, this being the only “good boy” in the entire series is just diabolical. but i get why it is, because i think it might not be the only one—and if it isn’t the only one, that means the regent says it at some point, and that’s exactly why it’s never used in a lamen sex scene.)

Kolnas preened, pleased that his selection was appreciated. Damen could see that the fort’s household around them was also pleased, having gone to great lengths to make Laurent feel welcome. They had considered with intense thoughtfulness Veretian culture and Veretian practices.

i sense some slight snarkiness here—not even from damen, but from the narrative itself. there’s palpable irony in the “great lengths” and “thoughtfulness” of akielions considering veretian culture while presenting laurent with slaves, all while veretian culture doesn’t have slavery.

It was pointless. There were two dozen slaves here, while the number of times Laurent had had sex in his life could probably be counted on one hand. Laurent was just going to be dragging twenty-four young men back to his rooms to sit around doing nothing. They wouldn’t even be able to unlace Veretian clothing.

according to damen:

this is stupid.

laurent is, in all ways but physical, a loser virgin.

he’s going to set out board games for those sex slaves. he’s going to throw them a pizza party. he’s going to answer emails the entire time.

they don’t even know how to unlace laurent’s clothing like i do.

this is stupid.

‘Can he also serve me in the baths?’ said Laurent.

CUNT.

‘And at the feast for the bannermen this evening when they give their pledge, if that pleases you, Your Highness,’ said Kolnas. ‘It pleases me,’ said Laurent.

damen is about to throw up on the floor

Cloth wound around his waist and over his shoulder, the sort of ceremonial Akielon garb that you could unreel from a person by taking hold of one end and pulling while they rotated.

looney toons-ass imagery

He could feel their discomfort, their need to debase themselves; this sort of proximity to royalty permitted only the extreme submissiveness of slaves.

thank you damen for being the only normal person here. you've come a long way.

“discomfort, their need to debase themselves” is something book 1 damen would have found adorable and charming. he definitely wouldn’t have worded it like this, back then.

“this sort of proximity to royalty permitted only the extreme submissiveness of slaves” building on the damen vs. kingship theme, he thinks he can’t have real love or intimacy or vulnerability if he’s a king. he can’t truly be paired with an equal, because he needs to be exalted.

He had sent away the slaves.

damen you’re the only one i’m not at mad at in this chapter. actually i liked the funny banner guy, we’re chill too. and isander is just trying his best

Laurent, he knew, was rooming in the adjoining suite, separated from him by a single wall. Damen was in the King’s chambers, which any lord who built a fort installed, in the hope the King would stop there. But even the former lord of Marlas’s optimism had not stretched to the idea that the heads of two royal families would visit simultaneously. To preserve their arrangements of scrupulous equality, Laurent was in the Queen’s chambers, beyond that wall.

i’m getting so much whiplash from this chapter like yeah this is funny and cute but also is the slavery stuff just normal to people like i’m aware the series started from a specific subculture and kink and body of literary work, so i guess i’m the weird one and the outsider here for being so distracted??

Isander was probably tending him, gamely doing his best with the laces. He would have to unhook the lacings on the back of the neck of Laurent’s riding leathers before drawing them through their eyelets. Or Laurent had taken Isander into the baths, to be undressed by him there. Isander would be flushed with pride at being chosen for the task. Attend me. Damen felt his hands curl into fists.

i don’t think i need to point out in a note, every single time, that damen being jealous of isander is funny and his possessiveness of laurent is hot. but i will still highlight the passages where it happens.

He turned his mind to political matters.

good call buddy, you and i are going to get through this chapter together

Men and women reclined on couches

(said apprehensively, given the overall themes of this chapter) ...women?

Makedon leaned, selecting a slice of peeled orange. Pallas, the handsome officer-champion, reclined with the easy posture that spoke to his aristocratic blood. Straton had hitched his skirts up and drawn his legs onto the couch, crossing them at the ankles. Everyone whom rank or office entitled to be here was assembled, and with every northerner of standing gathered to give their pledge, the hall was packed full. The Veretians present were mostly vertical, standing awkwardly in small groups, one or two perched gingerly on the edge of a seat.

There was no trumpet flourish or herald’s announcement, as there would have been in Vere.

okay i didn’t realize there was a trumpet flourish in vere. that is very funny in retrospect. a trumpet is not the instrument i’d choose to announce laurent’s arrival. in arles especially, i personally think that a halloween sfx cd would have been much more appropriate

Laurent didn’t rise. He wasn’t required to. He just watched from his reclining couch, as the hall prostrated itself. He had cultivated an elegant sprawl, with his arm draped over his couch back, and his leg drawn up, revealing the arc of an exquisitely clad thigh. His fingers dangled. Silk rucked around his knee.

laurent lean #14. kings leaning.

Isander was prostrated, an inch from Laurent’s casually draped fingertips, his lithe body bare. He wore a brief garment like a Vaskian man’s cloth. His collar fit him like a second skin. Laurent sat relaxed, every line of his body arranged tastefully against the couch. Damen made himself stroll forward through the silence. Their twin couches were next to each other. ‘Brother,’ Laurent said, pleasantly.

no comment

The eyes of everyone in the hall were on him. He felt their gazes, their underfed curiosity. He heard the murmurs—it really is him, Damianos, alive and here—accompanied by the brazen looks, looking at him, looking at the gold cuff on his wrist, looking at Laurent in his Veretian clothes like an exotic ornament—so that is the Veretian Prince. And beneath that the speculation that was never spoken aloud.

at least one akielon politics rpf truther is losing their mind rn. we have gaylor, this world has gaymianos

Laurent was scrupulously correct in the face of it, his behaviour immaculate, even his use of the slave was an act of unimpeachable etiquette. In Akielos it pleased the host for a guest to make use of his hospitality. And it pleased the Akielon people for their royal family to take slaves, a sign of virility and power, and a cause of great pride.

narrows my eyes

Barieus stepped forward. ‘I want assurances that Vere does not hold undue influence over Akielos.’ Undue influence. ‘Speak plainly.’ ‘They say the Prince of Vere is your lover.’

found the gaymianos truther

‘Who we take to our bed is not your concern.’

well i mean if you’re using the royal “we” to represent the kingdom, then yeah… it kinda is?

‘Shall I tell them what really happened between us? They want to know,’ Laurent said. Laurent began to unlace the cuff of his sleeve, drawing the ties through the eyelets, then opening the fabric to expose the fine underside of his wrist—and then the unmistakable gold of the slave cuff.

Laurent leaned his wrist elegantly on the curved arm of the couch, the open sleeve reminiscent of a delicate open shirt collar, its laces trailing. ‘Do I have the question clear?’ said Laurent, speaking in Akielon. ‘You are asking if I lay with the man who killed my own brother?’ Laurent wore the slave cuff with utter disregard. He had no owner, the aristocratic arrogance of his posture said that. Laurent had always possessed an essential quality of the untouchable. He cultivated a faultless grace on the reclining couch, his chiselled profile and marble-chip eyes those of a statue. The idea that he would let anyone fuck him was impossible.

and damen is so into it. love love love the contrast with the description of slaves in this chapter. damen doesn’t want them, he wants laurent. he sees laurent as a complete and compelling person. there is honor in laurent’s performative submission—wearing the cuff—because damen respects laurent’s personhood. but he’s no longer able to see the submission of slaves as honorable, because he knows they’re fucking slaves who have been robbed of their personhood entirely.

Barieus said, ‘A man would have to be ice-cold to sleep with his brother’s killer.’ ‘Then you have your answer,’ said Laurent. There was a silence, in which Laurent’s gaze held that of Barieus. ‘Yes, Exalted.’ Barieus bowed his head, and unconsciously used the Akielon Exalted, rather than the Veretian titles Highness or Majesty.

a vine boom echoed through the court

‘Well, Barieus?’ said Damen. Barieus knelt two steps before the dais. ‘I will pledge. I see that the Prince of Vere stands with you. It’s right that we swear to you here, on the site of your greatest victory.’

“he is simply too cunty for us to deny his authority.”

Slaves brought the food. Squires served Damen, since he had made his preferences clear. It was an awkward arrangement that displeased everyone in the hall.

YES DAMEN!

Isander was utterly in love with his master. He strove continuously to do well, selecting each delicacy for Laurent to sample, bringing him only the best, in small, shallow dishes, refreshing the water bowl for Laurent to clean his fingers. He did it all with perfect form, discreetly attentive, and never drawing attention to himself. His eyelashes drew attention to themselves. Damen made himself look elsewhere.

but that’s not real love, and damen knows it. laurent knows it too. and damen did it way better in nesson-elroy

Laurent said, ‘Play The Fall of Inachtos,’ and a murmur of approval passed over the hall. Kolnas, the Keeper of Slaves, congratulated Laurent on his knowledge of Akielon epics. ‘It’s one of your favourites, isn’t it?’ said Laurent, transferring his gaze to Damen.

diabolical. need this energy for the lamen divorce playlists (they each have their own)

He had always liked the depiction of Akielons cutting down their enemies, as Nisos rode out to kill Inachtos, and take his walled city. He didn’t want to hear it now.

yayyy character development

It was Loyse and not Guion that Jord was approaching. She gave him a cursory look. ‘Yes?’ There was an awkward pause. ‘I just wanted to say . . . that I’m sorry for your loss. Your son was a good fighter.’ ‘Thank you, soldier.’ She gave him the token attention a lady might give to any servant, and turned back to her conversation with her husband.

loyse hiiiiiii loyse (said with appropriate sadness for her current state of grief)

Jord gazed at him for a long moment, then indicated Laurent with his chin. ‘I’m glad you two are friends,’ said Jord.

jord always knows exactly when to show up and make ill-timed commentary on damen and laurent's relationship

‘I thought when he found out about you, he’d swear revenge,’ said Jord. ‘He knew all along,’ said Damen. ‘It’s good that you could trust each other,’ said Jord. And then: ‘I think before you came, he didn’t really trust anyone.’ Damen said, ‘He didn’t.’

also isn’t it like SUPER awkward for jord to be around guion and loyse right now

Isander was bringing Laurent a sprig of grapes in a small dish. Laurent said something approving, and gestured for Isander to join him on the reclining couch. Isander glowed, shyly besotted. As Damen watched, Isander picked a single grape from the sprig, and lifted it to Laurent’s lips. Laurent leaned in. He twined a finger around a curl of Isander’s hair and allowed himself to be fed, grape by grape, a prince with a new favourite.

damen is about to start scratching the walls like a cat confronted with a closed door

He lifted the wine blindly. The cup was empty. Straton wasn’t the only Akielon departing with a slave; men and women throughout the hall were availing themselves. The wine, and the slaves enacting the battle were breaking down inhibitions. Akielon voices grew loud, emboldened by wine.

between the heavy drinking and sex practices, the akielon court actually sounds like my living hell. and we haven’t even gotten to the naked sports chapter yet

Laurent leaned in further to murmur something intimately into Isander’s ear, and then, as the recitation reached its climax, the clash of swords like the hammering in his chest, Damen saw Laurent tap Isander’s shoulder, and rise. I’d wager you never thought a prince could be jealous of a slave. At this moment I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat. Torveld’s words. He said, ‘Excuse me.’

The entire court around him rose as he pushed up from his couch-throne.

“couch-throne”

Trying to follow Laurent out, he got tangled in ceremony, the hall a stifling press of bodies and noise, and, as a blond head disappeared towards the doorway, he was stopped by party after party blocking his path.

okay i’m so curious what he’s meaning to do when he catches up to laurent. yell at him? yell at isander? throw up?

He ought to have brought a slave of his own, then the crowd would have melted away, understanding: the King wished privacy.

i am begging the protagonists of this book to stop using human people as objects. again maybe that’s just a me problem, this isn’t my usual genre and the akielon slavery system clearly doesn’t align with my kink sensibilities, but COME ON

The corridor was empty when he strode out into it. His heart was pounding. He turned the first corner into a section of the passage, half expecting to catch Laurent’s retreating figure. Instead, he saw a stark, empty arch with all its Veretian lattice stripped away. Under the arch was Isander, standing with his fawn eyes, looking confused and abandoned. His confusion was such that for a moment he just stared at Damen with wide eyes before he seemed to understand what was happening, and folded to the floor, forehead to the stone. Damen said, ‘Where is he?’ Isander was well trained, even if nothing was happening as he had expected tonight; and even if, rather mortifyingly, he was being asked to report this fact to his King. ‘His Highness of Vere has gone for a ride.’

well at least if “going on a ride” is laurent code for “feeling morally and emotionally troubled,” that’s… less disappointing, i guess.

also, i do realize that this is the place where laurent’s brother was killed, currently taken over by the nation that orchestrated and benefitted from his death. so there’s probably a twisted vindication in learning exactly how fucked up their culture is (asking about the first night, etc), and getting whatever kind of enjoyment out of the whole situation he can (pissing off damen). but there still had to be a crash, and as soon as laurent was excused from his duties he dipped to deal with it alone.

‘At the stables a handler might know his destination. This slave can inquire.’

i caaaaaan’t stand the way they’re denied use of personal pronouns

Closer; the approach was difficult because it was sharp with memory. Here was the place where their left flank had fallen. Here was the place where he had ordered men to attack the lines that would not fall, the starburst banner that did not falter. Here was the place where he had killed the last of the Prince’s Guard, and come face to face with Auguste. He dismounted from his horse, looping its reins over the cracked stone column of an overgrown pillar. The landscape was old, and the pieces of stone were old; and he remembered this place, remembered the torn soil and the desperation of the fight. Clearing a last jut of stone, he saw the curve of a shoulder in the moonlight, the white of a loose shirt, his outer garments stripped, all wrists and exposed throat. Laurent was sitting on a stone outcrop. His jacket was discarded uncharacteristically. He was sitting on it.

this is a beautifully set scene.

A stone slid under his heel. Laurent turned. For a moment, Laurent looked at him wide-eyed, young, and then the look in his eyes changed, as though the universe had fulfilled an ineluctable promise. ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘perfect.’

a moment of surprise and vulnerability, and then practiced cool again. onto Some More Bullshit, i guess

this isn’t the chapter to really tackle this, but i will eventually write a long essay about how laurent goes through his own mini character growth arc, completely off the page, during the lamen divorce era. it’s just that damen has custody of the reader, so we don’t get to see it—only hints, like this moment here. laurent must have had a lot on his mind, too, ever since their last heated conversation. i have some ideas about what that “a lot” might be, but again, i don’t think i’ve gotten quite enough from laurent yet to really start forming a conclusion.

Damen said, ‘I thought you might want—’ ‘Want?’ ‘A friend,’ said Damen. He used Jord’s word. His chest felt tight. ‘If you’d prefer me to leave, I will.’ ‘Why cavil?’ said Laurent. ‘Let’s fuck.’

ON YOUR BROTHER’S FIGURATIVE GRAVE WITH HIS MURDERER????

‘That isn’t what I meant.’ ‘It might not be what you meant, but it’s what you want.’ Laurent said, ‘You want to fuck me.’ Anyone else would have been drunk. Laurent was dangerously sober.

yeah, no, he’s definitely being going through Some Shit on his own. lots of self-loathing, especially due to the fact that he can’t hate damen as much as he knows he should. yearning, more self-loathing because of that yearning. companionship withdrawals, a return to isolation. a revived sense of grief for his brother, and nicaise, and damen (not damianos) and even his relationship with his uncle, who he hadn’t thought would be capable of trying to kill him. hating himself and blaming himself and regretting things he’s done to push people away. just an all-around bad time, but a necessary time of reflection that he needs to experience on his own. damen can’t just swoop in and fix laurent, laurent has to decide that he’s worth saving first. he’s not there yet, clearly, assuming that damen only wants him as a sexual object. whiiiiich was probably why he went so hard on the eroticism with isander easlier, it was an easy victory to get damen hot and bothered. a game he could win, among the many other games he knows he’s losing—especially the ones against himself.

i’ll put together something more coherent before the divorce era ends. tbh, i kinda think this scene should have been a separate chapter, because there is some pretty massive whiplash here. although maybe not, maybe the buildup of emotional and sexual tension was the point. yeah, it was. the slavery stuff just made it more frustrating to read. never mind.

‘You’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. Since Nesson.’ He knew this mood. He should have expected it. He made himself say the words. ‘I came because I thought you might want to talk.’ ‘Not particularly.’

it almost sounds like laurent played himself, for the millionth time, by getting himself worked up with isander when he just really wanted damen

He said, ‘About your brother.’ ‘I never fucked my brother,’ said Laurent, with a strange edge to the words. ‘That is incest.’ They were standing in the place where his brother had died. With a disorientating sensation Damen realised they weren’t going to talk about that. They were going to talk about this.

"yes, honey..."

‘You’re right,’ said Damen. ‘I’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.’ ‘Why?’ said Laurent. ‘Was I that good?’ ‘No. You fucked like a virgin,’ said Damen,

deserved

‘half the time. The rest of the time—’ ‘Like I knew what to do?’ ‘Like you knew what you were used to.’ He saw the words impact. Laurent swayed, like he’d been dealt a blow. Laurent said, ‘I’m not certain I can take your particular brand of honesty just at the moment.’

oh well this is particularly horrifying with [redacted] context. also i think the quote “i’m not certain i can take your particular brand of honesty just at the moment” says A LOT about how laurent has always viewed damen, for better or for worse. laurent can count on damen to tell him what he needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. so it makes sense that he’s been avoiding damen lately, because laurent is going through his own crisis of personal reflection

Damen said, ‘I don’t prefer sophistication in bed, if you were wondering.’ ‘That’s right,’ said Laurent. ‘You like it simple.’ All the breath left his throat. He stood, stripped, unready for it. Will you use even that against me? he wanted to say, and didn’t. Laurent’s breathing was shallow too, holding his ground.

is “that” just laurent making fun of the way damen is earnest in bed? seems like an overreaction from damen if that's the case, so it’s probably something else i’m missing. maybe laurent is accusing damen of keeping the secret of his identity, even when they fucked, to make things simpler between them? that would support my previous theory that laurent is convinced that damen wouldn’t want him how he really is, as damen really is, with all the complications between them. or it’s a dig about auguste somehow, and i just can’t figure out how it connects.

‘He died well,’ Damen made himself say. ‘He fought better than any man I’ve known. It was a fair fight, and he felt no pain. The end was quick.’

like i said—what laurent needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. even if damen thinks that it’s going to make laurent hate him more, he still has the integrity to say it.

‘You sent your men out to look for me too?’ said Laurent, his mouth twisting. ‘No,’ said Damen, and pushed Laurent hard out of sight, into the shelter of one of the huge, crumbling blocks of stone. In the next second, the troop was on them, at least two hundred men, so that the air was thick with the passage of horses. Damen pressed Laurent firmly into the rock, and held him in place with his body. The riders didn’t slow, even on this uncertain ground in the dark, and any man in their path would be trampled, tumbled, kicked from hoof to hoof. Discovery was a real threat, the rock cool under his palms, the dark shuddering with the pounding of hooves and heavy lethal horseflesh. He could feel Laurent against him, the barely contained tension, adrenalin mixed with his dislike of the proximity, the urge in him to prise himself out and away, stifled by necessity.

throwback <3 i think this is very intentionally placed in this conversation, as a reminder that they are the same people they were in prince’s gambit

‘I know you’re not cold,’ said Damen. ‘You weren’t cold when you ordered me tied to the post. You weren’t cold when you pushed me down on your bed.’

more true things laurent does not want to hear right now! also i like the use of warmth, as the opposite of cold, to signify both vengeful rage and romantic/sexual passion. two sides of the same coin

‘A fair fight?’ said Laurent, turning back to him. ‘No fight’s ever fair. Someone’s always stronger.’

rewinding to their previous argument. aren’t they both tired? i’m tired.

[butterfly-indulgence]

[REDACTED] with an Idol!Angel 

aka [REDACTED] being nasty on main.

CW: Parasocial behavior, obsessive behavior, stalking, mentions of online bullying/harassment ([REDACTED]'s an expert in canceling someone)

As a (crazy) fan:

SFW

[REDACTED] is your biggest fan. And no, that is not an exaggeration. From his perfect attendance to all your lives and events to making several shrines dedicated to you, no one has them beat. 

When I say shrine, I don't mean just a small corner in their apartment. We're talking about rooms filled with your merch, such as your post cards, autographs, posters, plushies, pins… he has it all. 

They're very well-known throughout the online community. Other fans always see him on your posts and if you take a look at their profile, all you would see are posts relating to you and his "delulu moments" (screaming, keysmashing, reaction images and just general lovemailing). You're his star, his precious angel, and you always will be. You shine the brightest in their eyes.

[REDACTED] has bought all of your albums too. His music player is filled with your songs, and he's the type of person to blast it at 3 am while he's hacking. He's the only one living on one of the floors of his apartment building, so he's not disturbing anyone, is he? Either way, what's anyone gonna do? Arrest him? Good luck. He gets away with worse crimes than disturbing the peace.

Your love songs are his favorite. They make him feel giddy inside (and a bit sad. He wishes you were there to sing those sweet words to him face-to-face.)

Branching off from that, you bet he's buying voice packs. They get to hear your lovely voice? All the time if theywanted to? Just take their money.

He's been your fan ever since you debuted and he's very proud of his perfect attendance to all your lives and events. He always has front row seats, and he goes to the events ridiculously early. He's always the first one in line. Other hardcore fans know him and even asked him to join their fan club once. Which he declined. He doesn't want to watch other people gush and fantasize about his angel. The thought of thousands of people vying for your love already makes his blood boil.

You will inevitably recognize [REDACTED] due to their constant presence in events. Seeing someone with so much love and dedication is enough to warm your heart, so you make sure to thank him and give him some extra fanservice. If [REDACTED] didn't have any self control, he might have collapsed then and there. (God they want to hug you and kiss you and spoil you and treat you well and marry you and-)

Many people in the fan community jokingly label them as "that insane angel simp", but they have no idea just how far [REDACTED] is willing to go for you. He can easily obtain any type of information he wants so naturally, he knows where you live. He already set up hidden cameras in your home too. He loves watching you through the cameras; it's one of his favorite past times because he sees the real you. The real angel behind the flawless idol persona. He knows your likes, your dislikes (and he often finds out that the information you give out during interviews are mostly lies; you tend to choose quirky or unique answers instead of your real preferences - oh, you don't like this particular food? But Angel, you look so happy eating it at home after your concert <3), your hobbies, and little habits that even you don't seem to notice. What he doesn't like is when you collapse on your bed after a long day and just… cry. He hates seeing you in pain and wants to comfort you during your saddest moments, but he can't, so he directs his attention elsewhere to give you some privacy. Expect a gift and a fanmail filled with love and support in the next few days. It's his way of cheering you up.

[REDACTED] is one of those brutal fans that would attack anyone who sends you any hate or attempts to destroy your reputation. He has tons of burner accounts at his disposal, and he's not afraid of using them to bully, harass and threaten your haters. He won't stop until their online presence disappears completely. It's why your fan community is so peaceful. Because [REDACTED] shuts the haters up quickly.

[REDACTED] is perhaps your most dangerous stalker… but they're a great repellant for other potentially dangerous people. (A blessing or a curse. View it however you want.) As mentioned above, haters will not touch you, and your information will be under [REDACTED]'s lock and key. Personal information like your address? No one will be able to dig it up no matter how hard they try. Do you have a past controversy you desperately want buried? Consider the evidence deleted. Due to him pulling the strings behind the scenes, in the eyes of the public, you really are just a pure and wholesome person with nothing to stain your name.

NSFW

[REDACTED] indulges himself a lot with fantasies of you. Just the thought of you is enough to get him going, really. Because of the cameras they put all over your home, they have a full view of your most private moments, especially when you're pleasuring yourself on your bed. It's thrilling how he gets to watch you do something so 'unpure', unbefitting of the idol image you carefully crafted. He would definitely stroke himself while watching you, moaning your name as their pleasure builds up. (Though if he hears you moan someone's name, expect [REDACTED] to do some research… and maybe pay the person a visit later.)

If [REDACTED] ever got to fuck you in your idol costume, he thinks his soul might just ascend to heaven (or descend to hell. Whatever.) It gets their possessive streak going. Your pretty lips, spouting words of love on stage while behind closed doors, your attention is all on him? You're giving him genuine words of love through your hazy mind with a blissed out expression on your face? He's done for.

He also masturbates using your pictures, and by the end, they would be crumpled up and stained. Honestly though? His room is heavily decorated with your merch so he can just grab something random off his shelves and he would still get off on it. 

[REDACTED] can get pretty creative when he's going into the woohoo zone and he has several toys he uses often. You're not there (and maybe you never will be), so he has to make something work. 

[sugarywishes]

Um...I accidentally deleted an anonymous ask post (I posted it too early lmao)

So anon, if you're reading this, this is for you!! And also thanks for going through my page lmao

So, why does William favor Evan over his siblings?

1. They both look extremely similar:

Nowadays, it's common to see people hc Mike as the Will lookalike, and I really like that too!

But back then, the only one who could've immediately be guessed as William's child was Evan. Both had the PALEST skin of the family (this is saying a lot considering they're British!!)

Both had kind of nerving eye colors (Will's is an icy blue that was basically almost white, and Evan somehow developed fully bright green eyes) dark eye bags, scruffy hair that always just kind of looks...like that no matter how much they try to fix it, and of course, skinny as hell!

2. Similar upbringing (aka, trauma!):

Considering they both look kind of like corpses, and they act really...um....abnormal by society standards of their time, it's no wonder they're considered outcasts! William's dealt with bullying and abuse throughout his life (it also doesn't help that he didn't have anyone on his side since I headcanon him as an orphan lol) and Evan is literally going through it right now! (He just sees himself in him) So William latches onto his youngest son more and serves as Evan's 'guide' and 'mentor' (notice the quotation marks?)

3. He can't really attach himself to anyone else in the Afton Family lmao:

Okay, him and Michael are literally polar opposites, and if they weren't related and were the same age Mike would totally bully him and Will would want him dead 😭 (Mikey is a popular, mean kid and Will...was just mean!)

And unfortunately, William kind of sees Michael as an inconvenience (since he is a college mistake...Wear condoms guys, and also if you have the option for child support and you're not interested in raising a kid, please take the opportunity and don't be abusive like Will turnt out!!)

And also, he isn't at all attached to Elizabeth or his wife. Clara because well, he doesn't love her. Sure she's pretty and all but he prefers to be by himself. Being married to her was basically kind of an obligation in his mind? (Henry talked him into getting a relationship with her and his yet-to-be born son 😬) and for Elizabeth, again he just doesn't really care for her. (Her looking the most like Clara did not help in going his favor, no matter how hard she tried to please him :( )

4. He was easy to control (man, who would've thought he sucked as a father for all his children?)

His other kids were not as easily manipulated (Michael had the logic and experience to know not to trust him, and Elizabeth had Charlie and Mike to keep her on the right path no matter how much she tried to steer)

Even Clara would put her foot down if he did or said something off. But Evan on the other hand? He's the perfect son, always obedient, always trusting, he's a sweet little doll! (Which is precisely what William thought of him 😞)

And plus, no one else was on Evan's side at all, and according to William, people like themselves must stick together to achieve greatness no matter what (and the only person he knew he could trust/relate to was his father.)

So yeah, Evan's weak-willed self was a prime target for William's abuse. How charming! (Kind of like a Quasimodo and Frollo relationship?)

Anyways, that's it! (Probably, I'm very certain I missed one or two reasons, curse me and my lack of notes!!) If you have questions, fire them away!

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Day 4 of writing for blade until he comes home.

Blade x fem! Reader

Minors/blank blogs dni

This mini 'series' doesn't have an official timeline, it's all over the place, aka tomorrow I might write their first meeting only to write their 1st year anniversary the next day. Just an example.

Warnings: implied violent thoughts, mention of murder/death, slight possessiveness if you squint, toxic-ish relationship cuz blade would not be able to keep a healthy one, implied past sex.

Could be read as yandere but not intended to be. So I'll tag it just in case.

In which you're scared but unable to walk away.

==

You can't help but walk on eggshells around him.

No name given to you, your brother basically shoving this 6'2 man to you, who looks so bored it could practically be his entire personality. Black hair that reaches below the waist, the tips red. His eyes are also a unique color, red with golden rings within. And he's your 'travel buddy', which is really a nice way to say bodyguard.

It's been two since then, no longer as naive as you once were, unable to ignore the shady business your brother partakes in. Unable to pretend that this man seated next to you on your own bed, is anything but a crazed criminal, his wanted posters being torn down as quickly as possible outside. But for your own safety, you still play the part of a naive young woman - barely any knowledge of the outside world yet a bit temperamental at times.

You're scared of being killed.

Hurt.

Tortured.

And so much worse and even so, you allowed him in, Blade looking around your room with some interest. Books scattered around instead of being placed in the bookshelf, stuffed animals decorating your bed's corners and the opposite side of your perfered sleeping spot. A computer desk that's way too cluttered with resumes and job sites, a few empty coffee cups from earlier that day -

You allowed this criminal into your room. The worst part was that he wasn't the only one - your brother counts, too. And Kafka as well. And maybe even you, just for being related to and associated with them.

Maybe you're even worse.

You allowed yourself to become involved both romantically and sexually with a wanted criminal, one who may go crazy at any moment. It's even worse when you bring up the fact he's Mara struck, if you heard right. The worst part is that you're considering alerting the authorities.

You only found out their names through the wanted posters and kept your mouth shut about it.

No wonder your brother was so paranoid about leaving you alone. He can't monitor your activities, your access to the internet, can't control where you go outside. But he couldn't exactly keep you locked up either, the guilt would kill him. But apparently the guilt wasn't enough, still forcing you to act like the perfect sister, never ask questions and play pretend.

He knows that you know.

You just hope that Blade doesn't.

"It's your first time being in my room, huh?"

And hopefully the last.

"Hm." Blade doesn't say much, arms crossed and doesn't say much. Or anything at all really, letting out a sigh after a few more minutes of silence.

You forgot why he's even here.

"Your brother is worried about you," he doesn't look at you and you don't look at him. Your attention is on the T.V, trying to tune out his voice, his smell, his very presence because if you don't, you might scream. Scream at him for keeping it a secret, for lying to you too, for making you fall for him when he's the incarceration of evil -

He hasn't exactly given you a proper reason to be afraid of him. But after reading his list of crimes, it's hard to see him in the same light, especially when there's video evidence, victim reports from those who managed to get away somehow. Just when you finally were starting to open up to him, getting to know him properly, you found out everything thanks to a single wanted poster shown on the screen for but a second before the channel was changed by a maid.

Everyone knew expect you.

"Is he now? Hard to believe considering he sent a man into my room instead of a woman." You don't mean to bite back, but it's either that or let the fear reveal itself in your voice. Your actions. So, you cut yourself off from him, reverting to your past self from a year ago when you first met him.

Masking your fear with annoyance. Convincing yourself he's annoying rather than scary. It barely worked and it's barely helping now.

"He knows I don't have any dubious intent concerning you. I don't see why you're so uncomfortable with this, considering we... 'shared' a hotel room once. Plus the door is open," he gestures to it with his head.

The memory of the hotel room brings warmth to your face. Whispered praises, soft touches, kisses that lasted longer than needed. You can feel him looking at you, now.

You still don't look at him. Your entire body is tense, and it's obvious be can tell. From the way he decides to look at you and take in your appearance, to how he raises a brow, not understanding just why you're like this.

You did a 180.

From sharing secret and gentle touches, hidden kisses in the hallways, lingering looks as you pass by each other. Now you can barely look at him, and you're aware he's confused and maybe even a bit hurt - if he wasn't using you. It was a perfect plan on his part, worming his way into your heart, insurance in case anyone were to find out and rat him out, you could be there to lie for him.

But everything felt too genuine and that makes the matter worse.

"It's stuffy in here," standing up, you smooth out your dress, the skirt all wrinkled now. You try to ignore the way Blade stares at you, from your face to the way your legs move, unable to settle on one place. You can't tell if you're shivering from fear or slight arousal.

Just like how you can't tell if he wants to love you or kill you at times.

You're scared that he's going to hurt you. Go crazy and kill everyone in this house. Hurt himself.

You both fear and love him, but the fear is stronger than the love.

Blade reaches out from his position on the bed, hands resting on your sides before bringing you closer. You don't resist, allowing him to place you between his legs, trying your best not to flinch. He hasn't hurt you yet, he's still being gentle, he's still -

"We're the only ones here right now. Everyone left to either go home or attend to their business." His thumbs rub circles into your hips, tilting his head as his eyes travel between your thighs and your chest.

Your body freezes over. He just said your brother sent him to check on you, and now he's asking for...?

"I'm... I'm not really in the mood." You squeak in surprise when he brings you down with him, straddling him as he lays on his back. Locking eyes with you, his hands travel lower until they rest on your upper thighs. He hums in content.

"I know. But it's the perfect time for you to tell me what's wrong." The way his fingers dig into your flesh unsettles you. The look in his eyes do as well, both possessive and cautious. How did you not notice this before?

"Just tired. I didn't realize job hunting could be tedious," you settle down on him, gently placing your hands on his lower abdomen like you always would, drawing circles on it. When unsure and scared, revert to old habits that led to positive results.

You could feel him relax to your touch. Like his worries were disappearing, but not fully. You try your best not to cringe when one of his hands clasps over yours. His hold on it is gentle.

You wonder if these same hands strangled someone to death, or if he just stabbed them. They're blood stained, and you had allowed them to touch you, pleasure you, comfort you. And now they might strangle you someday, if he doesn't stab his sword through your heart first. And yet, despite everything, it still feels nice.

"Hm. Something else is going on in that head of yours," his grip on your hand gets tighter. In the past, you thought he would do such things because he didn't want to let go. But now knowing his past, finally putting a name to the look in his eyes, you're sure he wants to hurt you.

You remember him saying how to love something is to kill it, and to kill it is to love it.

You're scared he was talking about you. You want him to use you if loving you meant killing you. Because then throwing you away wouldn't spell the end of your life. But loving you would.

Even so, it almost hurts to think that.

"I wish you would tell me your real name." You all but sigh out, dropping your weight onto him, chest pressed against his, head nuzzled into the crook of his neck. He can't see your expression this way, the way your lips quiver and how wide your eyes are with every passing second.

His arms enclose around you, and for once, you hate how touch starved he is. You hate how his touch both comforts and horrifies you. You can't make you your mind, but you're still scared of him regardless.

He doesn't say anything, but once again, his grip gets tighter and tighter until -

"I know that you know."

[vacantgodling]

since I am having a pills day perhaps you could tell me more about healing and medicine in tcol 👀

~ @void-botanist

M E D I C I N E

thank u for the ask, but also i hope that ur pill day today goes well <3

so in tcol there is essentially 2 kinds of healing: subortus and sana inanem. both are technically forms of magic however they operate in slightly different ways.

to make this make sense i will quickly explain the concept of the "soul" in terrae - aka, how you exist. so. in tcol, the soul is broken into 3 parts (most of the time), sana which is health and vitality. an excess of sana is necressary for someone to heal others, but i'll get more into depth in a second. cava which is primal instincts and a twinge of chaos energy. the more cava you have, the more monster like you are or can become. finally ars which is related to sentience and magic. the soul isn't exactly a perfect 100% every time; and each amount can be split into differing percentages to determine a soul's make up. for MOST (but NOT ALL) terraneans, their souls are made of 50% sana and either 20% ars and 30% cava or vice versa. in order to use ANY magic at all, you need a threshold of at least 30% ars. if you don't have that threshold, any magic just will not work for you.

so, with that out of the way, how does healing work?

well sana inanam is sana based healing and it is the act of the user depleting their own inner reserve of sana (which replenishes with rest or with certain potions but we'll get to that) to heal someone else. basically, like how you see in any fantasy show a healer just kind ago over to someone and make cuts and bruises disappear with the wave of a hand; in tcol, that's sana inanem, baby. how much "excess" sana you have will determine how far you'll be able to take someone with this healing. plus you need a base 30% of ars in order to heal because sana inanem is magic after all. most mediocre medics are somewhere around the 50/sana to 30/ars range, and those are like your run of the mill small town doctors. when we start getting into guild healers who usually need to heal more drastic wounds, or doctors who work in larger cities, you start seeing people who are like 60/sana vs 30/ars and the like. and then you have the absolute powerhouse which is, karenza hawkins, who has 80% sana, 20% ars no cava. and i know you may be like "but ren! you just said that you need 30% ars to do magic!" and technically you're right but exceptions always exist. karenza is an exception because she has so much excess sana that it literally is just constantly tumbling out of her. she doesn't need the threshold of magic to use sana because she's damn near fully sana as a person LMAO. it's also why she is the only person who has been able to perfect the phoenix maneuver, which is a special healing art which can revive the dead up to 30 minutes after the heart stops beating.

but that's getting into the weeds.

the point is is that for sana inanem, you need magic potential and some excess sana you can play with. if you don't have a lot of excess sana, using healing magic will drain you (which is why mediocre medics and doctors who only have like 50/sana tend to do well with small injuries but struggle with larger ones). having multiple healers take on the same patient is another way to conserve sana--like how you can have a team of surgeons to do an operation, its a similar concept. the more healers you have working on someone, the less sana everyone has to use overall to heal.

so with all of that being said--the second way of healing is called, as mentioned, subortus. it involves taking the sana from plants (which are made of 100% sana) and animal/monster parts (which can be made of varying combinations of sana) to create potions, salves, pills, remedies, you name it, in order to heal. subortus healing is honestly better for colds and illnesses as well as for minor injuries and wounds or to help nurse someone back to health after a dosage of sana inanem because that can also take a toll on the body if its done too much. its less hell on the body and because everything has been cooked, blended, or beaten out into a more consumable form its much more accessible for ordinary folk to use, or for those with little sana.

so tldr its herbalism LMAO. different plants, animals, and monsters can do different things so yknow depending on what you need depends on what you'll want to use. there's some sort of remedy for anything you can think of, even delving into the drug or aphrodesiac realm.

so this was a bit of a long explanation BUT ik A LOT about the healing in terrae (thankfully) and i've worldbuilt it out for a bit bc its part of the magic system and for a key plot poit lol :DDD

[the-bloody-sadist]

#we don't support peer preasure in this house

Love your hashtag above.

Can I ask how do you deal with hurtful comments on your fanfics from someone you consider a friend? Like I know if some stranger send hurtful comments it felt bad but damn when someone you know said the same thing it felt worse. Early this year I was kicked out and blocked from an animanga lover group when they find out that I wrote mlm fanfics from major shounen series (naruto,bnha, aot, jjk). This what they said :

“I'm convinced you must have never had friends before because all of these relationships are perfect depictions of what PLATONIC friendship is. If you want a gay story support ACTUAL gay couples like in BL & GL manga. Do you know how frustrating it is to see people move mountains for a non canon ship that’ll never happen then ignore actual gay manga’s and anime’s in BL & GL anime/manga...."

What do you think? Even until now, I'm still feeling a bit guilty for liking non canon mlm and wlw ships from shounen series. But when I found your blog and read your posts, I felt way better. Especially that answer of yours to anon who asked is it weird to love mlm& wlw more than wlm. Thanks for sharing your hard work (analysis, fanfics, arts, reviews).

Sorry for my rants and for my weird feelings.....

Ohhhh this is so precious please don't apologize for sending me this ask, I love feelings and hearing about other peoples' experiences with them and how my art/accounts have somehow been relatable because of that.

The peer pressure in fandoms is absolutely insane and convinces me that the social aspect works the same as any high school full of bullies. There WILL be mean girls, there WILL be cliques, and if you're a creator like me, you're going to be a MAGNET for like ten different types of them.

As for how I deal with hurtful comments, I was raised in an environment that constantly shamed me. I was controlled from all sides on what I could draw, write, and consume, so I'm used to being shunned by those who "love" me because of what I'm interested in! Because of this, the hate comments were what I EXPECTED going in and the positive comments were actually the things that threw me for loops. Hurtful comments only had the power to nag at me when I didn't have an audience (or friends) to bounce them off of so they wouldn't keep popping up as a "do I actually do this, though?" "am I actually bad for this?". But now they don't bother me; they give me the chance to either make a troll reply or spice up my friends' group chat for the day.

As far as a FRIEND leaving a hurtful comment??? I have so much sympathy for you. I am SO sorry they treated you that way.

When I make friends, I tell them openly what I do and to what extent. This way, I gather the type of people I want and push away those who don't. If they think it's not okay, they're silly.

Those friends who kicked you out of their little club? SILLY. They think they're so pure and moral for gatekeeping what can and can't be done with creativity and passion. They won't ever know what it feels like to live as freely as you do. In the end, their opinion is an opinion that is largely not shared by the logical, rational public. Any professional in the art/film/writing industry can tell you that much. How else are we supposed to make stories? Have a little IMAGINATION!! DAMN!

I'm saying a lot of this because it's the best thing to tell yourself when you read things that are clearly meant to make you feel shame when you haven't done a single thing wrong. Since this is Tumblr and I can ramble to my heart's content, maybe it'll help you if I also point out the specific tools that have been used in that message they sent you. Sometimes a good breakdown of tactics is all it takes to remind yourself you're not in the wrong.

"I'm convinced you must have never had friends before" AKA "you're so ignorant" - invalidating your experiences to crumble any foundation you might've had to stand on if you wanted to argue back. Starting off with this helps them cut you down so your self-esteem is lowered.

"these relationships are perfect depictions of what PLATONIC friendship is" - their opinion is being stated here as a fact, as if the entire world agrees with them and there's no other way to see it. First of all, this means NOTHING to the shipping world, since it exists largely to turn friendships into romances. Idk what they wanted to do with that one.

"If you want a gay story support ACTUAL gay couples like in BL & GL manga" - I'm not sure what kind of burn that is. SUPPORT ACTUAL GAY COUPLES LIKE THE REST OF US!! Okay snuffledumpkins. Guess nobody taught them how to MULTITASK!!! GUESS WHAT? I CAN SUPPORT ACTUAL GAY COUPLES *AND* NON-CANON GAY COUPLES, FREAK! WHAT NOW, HUH??? Being serious though, this is an attempt to define for YOU what ''''''true gay couples'''''' are (ACCORDING TO THEM), when this is an entirely fluid meaning and can be applied to whomever you'd like in fiction. This is THE PURPOSE OF FANFICTION.

"Do you know how frustrating it is to see people move mountains for a non canon ship that’ll never happen then ignore actual gay manga’s and anime’s in BL & GL anime/manga...." AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! (inhales) AAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH imagine being so stupid that you don't know how much better LGBT representation can be in fanfiction and non-canon works than in actual BL/GL works. Imagine thinking that the only way you are allowed to enjoy BL/GL relationships is through canon couples, otherwise you're not helping the cause. Here's the biggest thing to remember: they don't give a fuck about the cause. They are using that language as a way to shame you. Oh you think these friends are in love??? You must not support LGBT people in real life. You must not support ACTUAL stories about ACTUAL gay people.

The logic jump is LAUGHABLE.

Ughhhh, what a long rant from me. But your last paragraph absolutely WARMED my heart, minus the part about feeling guilty. Let me just...[shines spotlight down on you][metal screech][picks up megaphone] YOU ARE NOT IN THE WRONG FOR WANTING FICTIONAL FRIENDS TO FICTIONALLY FUCK EACH OTHERS' BRAINS OUT!!! YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THIS MATTER, HOWEVER, ARE VERY UNDERSTANDABLE AND SHOULD NOT BE INVALIDATED, BECAUSE BULLYING IS A DIFFICULT THING TO DEAL WITH AND CAUSES VERY COMPLICATED FEELINGS REGARDLESS OF WHAT IS RIGHT OR WRONG. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON AND YOUR FICTIONAL PREFERENCES DO NOT DEFINE YOU. BE FREE, LITTLE BIRDIE! SHIP THE MASSES OF BOYS AND GIRLS IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT ANIME LOVES TO TEASE ON PURPOSE WITHOUT ACTUALLY FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH A ROMANCE SUBPLOT BECAUSE THEY'RE COWARDS!!!! THEY CAN BE ACTUAL GAY COUPLES TOO! BECAUSE YOU SAID SO! AND THAT'S OKAY!!!!

[puts the megaphone down][coughs]

I hope that helps. :D Thank you for the ask, and much love to you! It means a lot that you appreciate my work and my analyses and my opinions enough to ask me about such a painful subject.🖤

You are, in fact, quite normal for your opinion, and my entire audience would agree.

[iloveyou-writers]

i have a writer friend and we write for the same fandom but i feel awful for being envious of her. my friend doesnt even have to try hard for ppl to like and comment on her fics + everyone says her fics are always banger and rec-worthy. meanwhile, i feel like mine are flops or barely interesting enough for anyone to want to talk about it. even when i write for myself, i feel stupid posting only to see that hardly anyone feels the same excitement as i do for my own fics.

I hope you know that I'm not trying to ignore your ask. I know you sent this a bit ago and I've been posting and answering other asks since then, but jealousy is such a difficult and delicate topic that I wanted to be sure to reach out back at a time I'm able to fully respond and give this ask the attention and heartfelt answer it deserves.

So!

Hello and thank you for reaching out. I am proud of you for being able to admit this and reach out about it. It is really difficult to see someone that seems like they put no effort into something or like their talent is just effortless and yet you have to work hard for it.

One big piece of advice that's helped me with this, as someone who has previously (and tbh on occasion still does) struggled with this issue, is remembering: I don't know their entire journey. They may have been working toward becoming this good that it seems effortless but only because of years of dedicated attempts at perfecting and honing their skill. They may have been working on this for HOURS but only claim it was a short time to make themselves feel better. Frankly, people can claim anything they want online and we just don't know.

You also have to remember: their talents may not necessarily equal yours. I don't necessarily like to encourage others to compare, but if you're going to anyway, just remember that every time you notice something they're better at than you: 1 you have talents they don't, even if they're not writing-related and 2 you may think they're better at it but they may think you're better. Talent can be such a subjective thing to talk about, especially when it comes to art, so just remember that while you're noticing how effortlessly amazing they are, they may be recognizing your dedication and talents that you don't notice and may admire you for that. Or others may.

One final thing I'd like to leave you with, that I know can be hard to appreciate for people that struggle to feel seen, but that helped me is remember that a lot of people on this site are really nervous & shy. Tons of us are mentally ill, me included. Tons of us have social anxiety, me included. Many of us struggle to reach out to others on here, past me included. Being shy will make it so that your viewer/reader base may be reading and adoring your writing but unable to say so and maybe not wanting to bring attention to themselves so they don't reblog.

I know this can be more discouraging than encouraging for some writers, but I hope you find encouragement from it and not discouragement.

Anyway, it's almost 4am and I work today. :) I hope this helps and I hope you find a new vigor to write and love your writing for what it is. Don't let envy cause you to stop writing and stop appreciating your own talents. You have them, even if it doesn't feel like they're being recognized.

I wish you well and happy writing, my friend.

With much admiration,

Hannah aka iloveyou-writers

[forlix]

HELLAUURRR!!!

You're literally the best writer on tumblr, so I'm here to ask for some advice 🥹

So you know how stories have a timeline and some may cover like two years for example but be only around 2k words. HOW TO DO THATT??!? 😭 I always get stuck in time when I write something. If there is monday then there has to be tuesday and I just can't do a smooth slide to let's say the next week of the story. I really can't figure out how to do smooth time skips. So perhaps you have some tips? 😋💖

Waah my English isn't good so idk if you get what I mean. It's alright if you don't want to answer!! ^^

hiii my love!

firstly, u flatter me hello. best writer on tumblr is complete craziness!!! thank u so much for saying that though, you're very kind :') and i'm honored that you're entrusting this question to me!

secondly, this is all sooooo valid. navigating time is one of my biggest writing challenges among MANY so i'm not really sure i have the solution myself, but i can try to walk you through my process if you think that would help. i'm sorry in advance if it comes across as convoluted as i think it does 😭

instead of chronological, day-to-day accounts, i like to think of my fics as collections of important moments. "important" meaning significant for characterization, relationship progression, worldbuilding, etc. these moments don't usually happen back-to-back, because all change takes time.

if i can reference my own "ace," which i took special care to map out the timing for, about a week passes between every scene for most of the fic. i made it this way because i wanted there to be a lot of implicit development during those weeks; the couple needed to make their transition from acquaintances to lovers in a way that felt natural. but of course the development couldn't all be implicit, so the fic ends up being a collection of important moments that gives the reader just enough information to tag along on their journey. which is why u get scenes like mc taping hyun's hand in the training room, mc running out of the arcade heartbroken, and mc and hyun having a heart-to-heart on the gym floor

you can think of it as planting the seeds in one scene, letting them sprout and blossom "off camera" (aka during the timeskip), and then doing a garden reveal in the following scene. the two scenes are still very much interconnected—they still depict the same people in the same universe in the same storyline—but something about them has changed, and with it the plot has progressed

depending on what kind of story you're writing, consecutive days makes total sense, btw. in "crying lightning," i explicitly point out the timeskips with headers containing new locations and times preceding every scene because it the couple is a stylist/idol pair that travels together often over one year. in "everything has changed," which is probably closest to ur example of 2 years spanning 2k words, two years pass between every scene to place byeol growing up in parallel with felix and mc falling in love. but maybe you're writing, say, a camp counselor au or a zombie apocalypse au, and the characters only have limited time together; the way you'd write about a five-day period would look super different from a six-year period, u get me?

i am SO sorry about how long this got holy fuck i am truly terrible at putting anything about my writing process into words 😭 but TL;DR: 1) think of ur fics as compilations of important moments, 2) ~plant the seeds of change~ in one scene and reveal the end results in the next, and 3) think ab what timeframe/time-related format would work best for ur fic and go from there! your english is perfect btw <3 don't hesitate to lmk if u have any other follow-up comments or questions!

[reirei404]

1. Fave thing about Cay-Cay?

2. Why do you kin Cater?

Love our silly boy, he's just perfect 🥰

OH WOW SOMEONE'S ASKING ME ABOUT CATER YOU'RE IN FOR A RIDE /hj /lh

1. Fav thing? Prooooobably how goofy he is HAHAHA it's just interesting how he's like,,, low-key two-faced in a way that makes it so relatable to a lot of people. I also like his hair cuz it's so fun to draw along with his lil fang <33

2. Oh honey I have so many reasons why I kin Cater.... One of them being his little obsession with Magicam HAHAHHAHA

Another thing I kin about him is his multiple personalities as shown in his lab coat vignette which. Well. Wow. He's so me. Trying not to spoil anything in case anyone doesn't want any spoilers but!!! Yeah!! He's a goofy guy who is secretly depressed and he is so me core!!! I relate to him in every aspects except about him moving to many places during his childhood and his heavy dislike for sweets. I love sweets and I've only ever moved schools once and that's kinda it, nothing too much.

Aight hope these answer your questions!!! Thank you for letting me talk about the little goofy ahh guy who's obsessed with social media aka Cater Diamond <3

[jaythelay]

It won't be Fox News, it won't be Dump, it won't be Voters, it won't be Youths, it won't be what you want it to be if Biden loses.

You ignored every criticism to the point that your chosen ignorance is actually on par with the issue Dump presents. The fear of skepticism or criticism, of deeper implication or consideration. Dump wasn't as much of a threat today as he was then thanks to Project 2025. Imagine what the DNC will pull next election after disenfranchising voters twice before?

The reason Biden might lose is because ya'll made voting for him be tied into a god awful fanbase. Deadass seen someone join a server and someone go "this is a joe biden server" like buddy you're pro-the super predator guy? The guy who wrote the Patriot Act? No the fuck you're not. You're anti-Dump and only conveniently a fanboy until he's out of office. Once he's out the truth does too and ya'll will cripple the image of perfection you pretended democrats had to desperate youths, permanently disenfranchising them as it really is all meaningless if we cannot hold Dear Leader accountable.

Genuinely, I get that it's stupid, this ain't speaking for me I already made my position clear I don't trust the demcratic party or voterbase. This is just a warning for the Larpers: You're doing what MAGA and the media did for Dump. You're telling the DNC "Yes put Hilary up against a Dump" because they're easily placated, they're ALREADY placated!

We're normalizing and enabling "Whoever so long as it's not Dump" and you're gonna reach a point where centrism won't even be the only leftism left in elections.

Biden has NEVER been anyone's first choice and if you believe he is yours I suggest looking at his past instead of ignoring it like you've done the past 8 years. Because the average joe Did Pay Attention To That and your response has always been vitriol, defensiveness, downvotes, bans, mutes, and ignoring it entirely to focus on someone likely to lose by 9 or more million votes.

Everyone has faults. Dear Leader might as well be in charge of the world. He has the ability to send Nukes, presently is aiding a genocide. Yeah. I think I'd never be apart of a political party that thinks none of that deserves an ounce of scrutiny.

You can criticise Dear Leader and vote for them. Dunno why Dems think otherwise. But it's gonna cost them next election against Dump a third time. He ain't goin to jail folks, he's too valuable to dem politicians to allow that.

When people say "Biden should drop out" Consider this: Everyone thought that when he entered. That Never Changed. Biden said he was going to be Interim. He rescinded. People still think he should drop out. Yes, alot of the propaganda says "now" but this is a bubbled belief since he first ran.

Even when I was ignoring Biden's faults, I still Did Not Want Him Next Election. He was weak as shit against republicans the first 2 years. Barely any less these last 2, as far as public relations they're actually invisible until they fuck up and pretend they cared at all for the damages. I.E. pretending there were headless israel babies when in actuality it was (soon after lying about the israeli babies) headless palestinian babies. Crickets.

He failed every objective I and everyone I know cared for, the Only Right Thing He's Done For Everyone was not be Dump.

That won't fly 2028 ya'll. None of this will. Because the illusion, the veil of perfection you put up will crumble, and so will confidence in democrats. Either the dems get worse or the dems lose votes. There is no inbetween. Biden simply sucks. You're obviously allowed to disagree, but you can't via ignorance and expect me not to treat you like a republican, aka, a purposefully ignorant threat.

When you act like they're perfection and they fail to meet it, you lied. And now nobody trusts anything the party in it's entirety says.

Just Criticise Dear Leader. Fucks sake. We're doomed in 5 years if you choose not to. It didn't work for Hilary, it barely worked for Biden. None of your fanboyism is why the average joe will vote for Biden, it will be Entirely becauae the government gave us the option between Just Genocide and continuing the slide backwards, vs Genocide, the fall of democracy, and Dump.

No shit Biden will win. But it 100% was not because you decided he was perfection and banned criticism and skepticism of such a claim. That, will cost us the next election. People are making excuses for themselves right now, that won't work when this exact situation happens again 5 years from now. Your fanboyism will become inherently too frustrating to ignore, and the party Will Split down the middle.

[themelancholyhill]

Rules: List 10 comfort shows and then tag 10 people

I was tagged by the lovely @morganathewitch to list my go to comfort shows, but since I don't watch a lot of shows, I'm gonna include movies mainly! I will include either stills from each movie and/or a song from the ost.

1. Sophia Coppola's Marie Antoinette:

This is easily one of my favorite movies and it's the first thing that comes to my mind if someone asks what my all time favourite movie is. It is visually stunning, the soundtrack is perfection, and Kristen Dunst did an incredible job portraying the young Marie Antoinette!

2. Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes:

This one is a great watch during autumn. Robert Downey Jr, to me, is Sherlock. The soundtrack is also excellent.

3. The Color of Pomegranates (aka Sayat Nova) dir. Sergueï Paradjanov:

How can I not include this visually stunning film?? It tells the life of the medieval Armenian poet Sayat Nova. Paradjanov uses visual means to convey the story which makes it feel like a poem is being painted (if this makes any sense!) I recommend checking this video before or after watching the film.

4. Amelie (or Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain):

This speaks to my inner hopeless romantic. I don't relate to it as strongly as I used to, but it's still a solid and gorgeous film. The story telling is quirky, but in a good and comfy way.

5. One Piece (the Netflix Live Action):

The second I watched half of episode 1, I fell in love with this show. As someone who loves the anime, I was anxious about this version being silly or even, pardon the term, cringey. However, it's like seeing the source material for the first time. The cast, story, costumes, the soundtrack, etc is perfect and it'll always be a definite comfort watch for me.

6. Faust (1926):

I've been watching silent movies a lot this year, and though I enjoyed plenty, this one stands out to me particularly. Despite being made in the 20s, the production is spot on. The visuals and special effects are incredible and it's also a perfect autumn watch!

7. Only Lovers Left Alive:

I adore this movie. I mean 2 vampires who are passionate about music and literature... sign me up! Obviously, there's more to it, but I recommend watching with no clue about it if you're into vampires!

8. The Hunchback of Notre Dame:

I had to include a Disney movie here and this is easily my all time favourite. After reading the novel by Hugo, I have a newly found appreciation for the Disney version.

9. Fantasia (1940):

As a visual person, this one speaks to my soul. It's, not only, the reason why I started appreciating classical music, but I also get inspired by the animation for my watercolor paintings.

10. Peau d'âne:

Last but not least, I've decided to revisit this gem from my childhood, and it still stands the test of time in my humble opinion. It's whimsical and simply camp; I'm actually surprised that no one on the met gala didn't take inspiration from it!

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Thank you so much for reading through this list, and I hope that you've discovered new movies, and who knows, some of them might be your new comfort movies 🍂

I tag: @minsulies @elegantwizardsoul @sharkyle @serena-idade @oldsuperstition @dionyrtal @x3xmcx3x @silentcedars @fkhufu @pearleyednomad

[myers-meadow]

what are some of your favorite tropes to write? either right now or in general. I'm asking so I can try to send you prompts you're more likely to enjoy.

That's so considerate of you, thank you!

This is like baring my heart alskjdfksjdf Ummm... I've been writing some 'not quite unrequited love' stuff for Halsin, more of that will certainly come. Gotta love small moments of intimacy, and how intimacy doesn't always have to be romantic in the conventional sense, aka I love exploring how different characters relate to affection and intimacy.

Sharing food together is wonderful. Jealousy or possessiveness is always fun to write. Enemies to lovers is great. Gotta love 'i can't fix him but we make each other worse' too, hahahah ^^

The Astarion x Tav x Halsin polymance I'm a big fan of, but I mostly like to explore their dynamics when it's not so perfect. I'm writing on a continuation of my small fic (Explorations of Jealousy) about that, which will have a threesome yayy

I tend to mostly write romantic or erotic pieces, not so much angst, but it does happen sometimes. Whump isn't really my thing (I prob won't know what to do with a 'taking care of wounds' trope). When it comes to power dynamics; I'm a big sub, so I'm not good at writing Tav domming their love interest. There will usually, if I'm not lead by other ppls ideas, be some sort of gap in power dynamic, though ^^.

I LOVE me a good ravishment fantasy, aka dub-con or non-con. Mostly situational non-con, where there is love and attraction and pleasure involved (think Haarlep's canon scene, if your party wasn't so strong and confident, it'd essentially be a 'fuck or die' trope, which I love). Despite that, I'm a big hopeless romantic, and I may write characters softer than some may like;;;;;;

Does this help? Am I making sense?? I feel like this is wayyy too long but oh well.

xoxo

Meadow

p.s. i will tag every ask i get as 'ask', so you can search for it and don't have to scroll through pages of my blog :))