#( so this is mostly me trying to get back into jess mode )

[elliesbelle]

imagine (a world like that)

ellie williams one-shot

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: your girlfriend ellie is always on the road on tour, living the life of a traveling rockstar. when she comes home for a day, you imagine what kind of life you’d have with her if you lived in a different world.

content warnings: modern au, long distance relationship, mostly fluff but bittersweet, non-sexual nudity

word count: 1.2k

my masterlist

i have a ko-fi if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

based on the ariana grande song “imagine”

It’s nearly midnight and you watch as the 50-foot tour bus pulls up to the hotel parking lot. You bounce up and down nervously on the balls of your feet in restless anticipation. The buzz of your car’s AC hums silently, almost in irritation that you’d left the engine running. 

A few moments after the bus parks, people begin to file out from inside. You pay them no mind, your eyes searching for a certain green-eyed girl. You don’t realize that you’ve been holding your breath until you spot a flash of auburn emerging from the bus. Your feet move quicker than your brain does, sprinting in the direction of your girlfriend. 

Ellie barely registers the fresh night air before she sees your quick figure speeding towards her mere seconds before you reach her. Her face breaks out in a wide smile as she drops her bags and her arms instinctively fly open, catching you and lifting you up just in time as you nearly collide against her body. The second thing you feel after her arms wrap around your waist are her lips on yours, fervently enveloping them as if the end of the world was just seconds away. 

You hear Ellie’s fellow bandmates and crew wolf-whistling and chuckling, but you’re too focused on covering your girlfriend’s face with kisses to care. Tears of joy uncontrollably stream down your face as you take in Ellie’s appearance after months apart. 

“I missed you, honey.” She whispers. 

“Missed you more.” You insist. 

“Not possible.” 

You smile before hopping down from her arms, your left hand grabbing one of her bags and your right tugging her towards the direction of your car. Ellie only has a second to grab her other bag before you’d already pulled her several feet away from where you’d both reunited. 

“Bye, Jesse! Bye, Dina!” You belatedly scream without bothering to look their way. You hear their laughter behind you as they shout their replies of goodbye to you both. 

Before you’re able to enter your car, Ellie’s manager yells, “Williams! 2:30 tomorrow! On the dot! Or you get left behind!” 

You throw Ellie’s bags in the backseat as she yells back, “I know! I’ll be here!” before slipping into the passenger’s seat. 

Your car nearly leaves skid marks on the pavement from how quickly you tear out of the hotel parking lot, the tires loudly “skkrting” away. 

Boxes of leftover pad thai lay abandoned at the foot of your bed while the only light illuminating your apartment emanated from dim candlelight flickering in your bathroom. Two champagne flutes balanced precariously on the side of the bathtub, momentarily forgotten about as Ellie playfully blows bubbles at your face. You giggle as you try to shield yourself before lightly splashing her with bath water. 

The only sound that could be heard besides your laughter was the melody of a soft Ariana Grande song playing from a speaker sitting on the bathroom sink. Both you and Ellie had placed your phones on “Do Not Disturb” mode, refusing to let anyone penetrate your personal bubble tonight. Nothing and no one was going to ruin the 12 hours you had left to spend with your girlfriend. Nobody else was allowed to hear the whispered secrets you uttered for only each other to hear or the sweet, loving promises you swore to one another. 

Not even the bright, early morning sunlight could wake you from the deep slumber you’d fallen into while laying on top of Ellie’s chest. Her arms were wrapped tightly around you, determined to keep you close even in sleep. 

It wasn’t ‘til noon that you’d opened your heavy eyelids. You woke up in the crook of Ellie’s neck, her arms still holding you. You blink your eyes several times, almost as if you couldn’t believe the image before you. She really was here, laying naked with you in your bed and getting the best sleep she’d had in a long while. 

It was agony to tear yourself away from your peaceful position, but you had only a couple of hours left until she needed to be back at the hotel before heading back on the road. Ellie seemed just as determined as you to remain forever in this blissful state, but she eventually relented after some convincing in the form of soft kisses on her cheeks and neck. You drag yourself off the bed to get dressed before cooking a late breakfast for you both. 

Since last night, nobody had been able to contact either of you, both of you refusing to engage with the outside world apart from a couple of Instagram stories from the night before that celebrated Ellie’s brief homecoming. You ate your scrambled eggs and toast silently, sitting across from her at your dining room table and occasionally giving each other soft but bittersweet smiles. 

After you finished washing the dishes where you’d both playfully fought over who would complete the chore, you return to your bedroom to help Ellie gather her belongings. You were so determined not to let her catch a glimpse of the tears falling silently from your mournful eyes that you didn’t notice the same tears falling from her own. Once you confirm that everything was packed, you and Ellie settle down on your living room couch for a little while, relishing the few minutes you had left before you needed to drive her back. 

Ellie had you wrapped in a tight embrace, stroking your hair absentmindedly as you savour this moment with her. After a few moments, she suddenly sits up straight and breaks the embrace, to which you instinctively whine at the loss of contact. She chuckles at your grumbling before standing up to rummage through one of her bags. 

After a few moments, she pulls out a long, jewellery box from one of the pockets and returns to her seat on the couch. You look at her questioningly as she silently hands you the present. A soft gasp escapes your lips as you open the lid. 

Inside was a gold necklace that glimmered from the sunlight streaming in from your living room windows. It was adorned with nothing else but a golden letter “E” sitting in the center of the chain. It was simple yet thoughtful, a perfect symbol of the kind of girlfriend Ellie was. 

This time, you couldn’t hide your soundless crying. Ellie lifted a hand to gently wipe a few tears away in vain, smiling wistfully. 

“So that you never forget that I am and will always be yours.” She whispers faintly. 

“As long as you never forget that my heart will always belong to you, Ellie Williams.” You murmur poignantly, returning her soft smile with one of your own. 

She lifts the necklace from the box and places it around your neck, her fingertips brushing against you so delicately as if afraid to shatter your skin. Your hands caress your girlfriend’s initial now resting inches above your breasts, allowing the cool feeling on your fingertips to ground you to the present. 

Ellie envelops you in her arms again. She memorizes the feeling of your body against hers once more and tries to imagine a world where she wasn’t tearing herself away from your embrace in pursuit of her dream career as she left the true dream behind. 

author's notes:

i literally wrote all of this in less than an hour today right before work cause my alexa wakes me up to ariana grande songs and my sleepy state heard "imagine" and got hit with insane inspiration that i had to write this all. and yes, it's true what you heard: i wrote the majority of this while sitting on the toilet taking my morning shit. you're welcome for that image <;3

why did i kind of break my own heart writing this ahahaha

hope y'all enjoy <;3

taglist: @lonelyfooryouonly, @alexpritch, @sawaagyapong

[pbandjesse]

Today was mostly me sleeping so I don't how interesting this book is going to be but it was not a bad day. I can't think about things too hard or I become very sad. So I'm sleeping instead so I don't have to think. That's the theory anyway.

I honestly didn't sleep too bad last night but I did get woken up at like 4:00 a.m. because we forgot to take the air conditioner off of Eco mode and it turned itself off and so it was too quiet in here and the air was too still and that woke me up and I feel very dizzy and then I got up to go to the bathroom and then James made me upset because they moved and I was going to fall and it was the whole thing. But eventually I fell back asleep. And when my alarm went off at 7:00 I was miserable. My neck hurts so bad and I was so tired and dizzy and I didn't want to go anywhere but I am trying my best to skip as few markets as possible. So I got up and got dressed and tried to feel okay but it was very hard.

I was so tired I didn't even want to stop for breakfast because the idea of getting a fried food and a soda made me feel nauseous. Ann said that that was very concerning.

James help me set up the table and I tried setting up in a different way because I had the two extra baskets but I ended up putting it back and just using the trunk as some extra space which I think worked out fine. A couple people were interested in the larger stuffies and pick them up and hug them but nobody bought any of them. Honestly I was not having a very good sale day today.

Some of it was just because I don't make very good sales when I sit down and I was so tired that I just wanted to sit but I kept forcing myself to stand up. For the first hour I was just working on my knitting and one of the little girls from last week, Talia, would come and sit with me and she did five rows of knitting which she did a good job after the first one. The first one was a little too loose in parts and once I showed her how to fix that she got the rest of them no problem. It was funny she just kept repeating I'm so good at this. And that was just great I loved the confidence.

I would get a lot of sewing done too. I finished a couple more pigs and a couple of the frogs. Still have a few to do in the bag but I'm not in any rush because my table is very full right now. And I lose mostly just happy to be there. Not that I was happy to not be in bed because that's where it really wanted to be but the weather was really nice and I was enjoying the breeze.

I was a little frustrated that I wasn't selling anything and then James had made a comment about wanting me to buy some of the produce for our camping trip next weekend but then they weren't answering me and I was getting really frustrated. They had come out earlier and we had bought baked goods and it was the first time we had gotten fall flavors and they were so good but I was still just really frustrated and I was tired and I just wanted the day to be over.

I was texting Jess and telling her that I was just very grouchy and it was making me very annoyed with James and that was not nice. I didn't want to be annoyed but I really really was.

Eventually though I did make a sale. I sold some stickers and that made me feel a little bit better. But I was still annoyed and I decided I should go inside and see why James is not answering me.

But it turned out that the museum just got really busy all of a sudden. And they apologized but I was still a little perturbed. But I got over it. And they came out and bought the vegetables themselves. And I bought myself guacamole because they were back to the regular avocados. And the nice man gave me a dollar discount. I have no idea why but he did and it was really nice of him. I wish I could speak Spanish better so that I could have a conversation with him but he was very kind.

I would make a couple more sales and I ended the day with $50. Not my best day but not my worst. I enjoyed talking to Stanley and Ann. It was Stanley's birthday on Wednesday and he had gone to Atlantic City with his family and so I was asking how it was and he said oh we left in Atlantic City like right away on Wednesday and I was like oh my God why? And it turns out his granddaughter gave birth on his birthday so that is his 7th great grandchild! He is 18 grandchildren! I had no idea. I'm glad there should be more Stanley's in the world. He's the best. And I'm so happy for him. I hope that Miles is doing well. That's the baby's name.

I was a little sad to find out that Jimmy Buffett died. Not that I particularly cared about his music but I loved his vibe and I liked the culture around Jimmy Buffett. And he gives me good feelings because of how connected to the McElroy's he was. But I was a little sad about that. Just another thing.

People keep telling me that they're sorry about Sabrina. And it's hard for me to accept that. I don't know what to say. I just say what could you do or it's okay or yeah it's bad or whatever but I don't have a good response and I don't want to think about it. Don't want to think about the fact that she's gone and it's a waste and it sucks and it's stupid. I don't want to spend time thinking about it in my brain because my brain is so sad about it if I think about it too much. But then I feel bad for not thinking about it. So the whole thing is very dumb. And then I feel selfish. I can't win.

I was still exhausted though and so happy when we reached 1:00. A little bit before then I had had this lovely conversation with a family who were just so excited about my plushies and they took a card and they bought a couple things and they were just so supportive and they really made the end of my day really nice. So I sold a frog, a pig, a keychain, and a sticker sheet. It was not a bad day at all.

I went and said goodbye to James and then I got in the car and I headed home. There was a pretty bad accident in the other direction on MLK. There was a car that had flipped over which was wild looking. But I still got home before 1:30. I hope everyone is okay in the accident. It looked like people were mostly just standing around so I think no one was seriously injured.

When I got back here I put away the groceries. I wasn't sure which vegetables James wanted in the fridge specifically the corn. But I left everything out so that they could decide those things and then I took a quick shower and I laid down.

And this was a very long nap. Fell asleep around 2:00 and I woke up at 4:30. James was here and they were very excited to see me. But I was so woozy and tired still and I came out and I said hello and I went to the bathroom and then I came back and laid back down. And I fell asleep until 6:30.

Did I mean to take a 4 and 1/2 hour nap no. But I apparently really needed it. When I woke up James was gone. They were doing a shift at the theater tonight. And I was happy to see that they had made me a quesadilla. I love my husband so much.

I ate my quesadilla with some of the guacamole that I bought. And I hung out with sweet pea. Then I painted my toenails and I trimmed my bangs. And I looked over the camping list and made sure that everything seemed solid toiletry-wise. I also refilled some of my toiletry containers. I don't plan on sleeping over Jesse's tomorrow when I go to visit her but I'm bringing stuff just in case I decide that I don't feel comfortable driving home because I'm too tired. We'll see what happens.

But it's been a pretty nice evening. I mostly just been hanging out. I put on the air conditioner again I'm wearing a sweatshirt which is just really nice. Especially '90s all week but I am still trying to make it to be fall already. You know how things are.

And now I'm just waiting for James to come back. I am going to see Jeff tomorrow but probably just for the day. And I hope that it is just a beautiful afternoon. I hope that you all sleep good and have a good day. Until next time.

[chellyfishing]

okay let’s do the videos game i played this year

uhh obviously as per i played a stupid amount of ffxiv. like i don’t think i have a record of hours played this year nor am i interested in knowing. i did my first current tier savages this year though??? (right? that was this year? or late last? i think it was this year.) also farming exes while they’re still new and not crying the whole time?? who is SHE??? i was going to say this is the year i became a whm main but i think that personal tragedy happened last year actually.

i finished until dawn in april. i actually did... pretty well without a walkthrough, i did restart after i got the dog killed bc i felt so so bad about it (this is the kind of thing i think is understandable and acceptable) and then i had some ehhhh struggles with those final hold still QTEs to get everybody out before things exploded but otherwise i mostly made... okay choices?? FOR THE MOST PART??? i discovered later that there aren’t as many places you can get people killed as i thought tho so tbh i don’t think my performance was that impressive. anyway i enjoyed this game, the further along i got in it the more i had to play it in short bursts cause it’s uhh kinda stressful? and listen i don’t mind explaining to you that for me the fear is not in the monsters or the jump scares the fear is in messing up, the stress of getting someone killed because of my mistakes and my wrong choices and my inability to play the game right. horror means different things to different people and for me the real horror was in the imperfections we revealed in ourselves along the way.

okay i nearly forgot that i did play my switch for more than piddling around in zelda and mario and i did actually play another new release besides stray (see below) this year which was the stanley parable ultra deluxe back in april (or may?). i never played the original so i was happy to grab this and just spend a few days exploring it. i watched the ox kids play it and was amazed that with how thorough i thought i was i STILL missed a bunch of stuff! but they also missed stuff that i did. incredible. so fun and funny and when i had the bucket for less than ten seconds i already knew i would both kill and die for it. i think this is the only switch game i finished this year which, come on, self.

(i did play a lot of botw and mario odyssey this year i!!!! just haven’t finished them!!! DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!!!)

replays of resi 2 and 3 remakes as well as 7 and 8 in june because they all got ps5 upgrades and i got a ps5! i am like one or two trophies away from plat on all of them and i hate it!!! for 3 and 7 they’re the hardest mode (inferno and madhouse respectively i think) trophies bc there’s this stretch before you can get your good items from the item box that are just So Hard and you have to actually be good to get through them and i am not!!! for 2 it’s the stupid 4th survivor mode, again you have to actually be good. and for village it’s a couple of mercenaries mode trophies that i could probably get if i would just sit down and play mercenaries mode for a bit, i said i would do it when the dlc dropped and it has and yet here we are.

in july i played titanfall 2! wow this game was a lot of fun and a lot more emotional than i expected!!! if you followed me on twitter at the time you got to witness my emotional breakdown. i might revisit this someday to get more trophies but for me the fun i had in this was just kind of jumping into a short campaign and blitzing through it in a weekend without trying to be good or complete. i didn’t even really mess around with the collectables and i kind of don’t know who i’ve become as a person.

control also got a ps5 upgrade so i replayed that also in july to get the plat again. while i was at it i 100%’d both dlcs as well. i love this game!!! i love the setting, i love the story, i love jesse, i love the sense of humor, i love the other characters, i love how weird things are sometimes, one day i think i’m actually going to sit down and read all the documents because i HAVE THEM ALL (except like... one that you could only get with a ps4 preorder or something?? idk i forget, it’s not important) and i love the writing! this year we also got confirmation on the sequel and man. MAN. GIVE IT TO ME I’M SO READY.

i played journey to the savage planet... also in july! i had a lot of opinions about this game and i remember going over them a lot on twitter. i loved so much about it but there were just some things i kinda haaaaated. like there are some things about the way the game is mechanically that are so SO frustrating (there’s no MAP in the EXPLORATION GAME??) and i really just wanted to explore this weird planet and eat goo and look at new critters with one brain cell. i dunno! also no plat bc there are like 3 or 4 co-op only trophies. i think i got almost all the others, i’m missing like one in the main game, one in the dlc, and i think you’ll catch me dead before i try old game minus if i was already frustrated enough with the normal version of the game.

i played town of light in (checks notes) july and uhhhhh. this game is a lot! there’s not a lot to it mechanically, it is more or less a walking sim, and there are some aspects of the gameplay that don’t feel great, i remember being unclear on where to go at times and the game is not always great at letting you know. but the story. i was an absolute sobbing wreck at the end. like, so many trigger warnings, you guys, and i don’t think this is right for everyone, but if you think you can play it you should, or maybe watch someone else play it. it is... gripping, heartbreaking, very hard to get through in places, especially for people with certain lived experiences.

i played wytchwood in uhh mumblemumblejuly which is easily a new favorite game. it’s like a fairy tale where you play as a witch going through different areas and the main gameplay loop is finding items and recipes, crafting them to get more items to craft more to get more to solve story and environmental puzzles to progress the plot. the story is so fun and well-written, the graphic design and animation are beautiful, it is really the kind of game i picked up and INSTANTLY went “i love this already so much.” just so good and cozy and wholesome, i would recommend to everyone honestly. whitethorn is a new favorite developer. oh also if you like trophies this is an easy plat as you get all of them just playing the story.

i played tacoma and it was still the month of july. this is from the same people who made gone home, so if you liked that you may also like this. it is another walking sim, all though you’re in space so sometimes it is a floating sim. i loved the characters and the story, plus there is a cat that you can find for a trophy. it’s really good! however, fuuuuuck steve gaynor, and to my knowledge he still works at fullbright, so up to you if you want to give them your money.

obviously, i played stray when it came out in (checks) are you kidding me?! july?! this is the other new release besides stanley parable (and resi8 dlc if you count that) that i played this year since i usually wait for stuff to drop in price but this wasn’t that expensive since it’s an indie game and uhhh i wanted to play it!!! also it is goty! you play as a cat! you have a robot buddy!! i loved the world and the characters, and i cried so much at the end!! if you haven’t played it yet why!! what are you waiting for!!!

in some month that’s not even important at this point i played teacup which is another whitethorn game. it is a very very short cute little narrative game about a frog who wants to have a tea party with her friends. like this is just a game you sit down with when you want something so cute and cozy and you’ve already played wytchwood so many times. the kind of thing you could play with a little kid if you have one of them lying around. very pleasant and cleansing. also another slam dunk plat.

in OCTOBER the resi 8 dlc dropped and i played that, like stayed up all night when it released kind of played through it. i’m surpised that i haven’t already replayed it twenty times because i did like it a lot! i like rose and you know what some of the stuff in this is... genuinely kind of scary!! i can’t even look at the face-sucking animation it is so unpleasant. a lot of things in this game were doing a number on my trypophobia tbh. maybe that’s why i haven’t gone straight back to it. also the mannequins are scarier than the fetus monster, i said it and i meant it.

and last but not least this month (tbh started nov 30) i played tales of arise. my longer post on this game is still in the drafts haha. i guess i can talk about it a bit here tho. i... loved this game. i think my expectations were... neutral at best, ofc i didn’t love zestiria and while i liked berseria at the time i’ve never felt any particular desire to revisit it (this actually may be due to other factors that i’ll not get into atm), and i normally log literally hundreds of hours into tales games, so i guess i just wasn’t feeling optimistic about being impressed by it. and i was wrong!!! i really think this has some of the most mature character writing of any game in the series. normally the characters are like one half assorted disparate lol xd random quirks and one half trauma without the two sides melding very well but i felt that much much less in this game. there were things in the story writing i thought were pretty typical for the series and things that i really liked and appreciated! i ended up loving the characters, loving the way they grew as individuals, in relation to each other, and as a group, and i actually remember what happens in the plot which is uhhhhh a bit more than i can say for the last two games. also? voice cast was flawless, no notes, yeah even papenbrook, yeah i’m as surprised as you.

aside from that, i actually played my first real matches of both among us and overwatch this year and had a lot of fun. LOST BIG HARD in overwatch every single time sorry team i was drunk and wouldn’t have known what i was doing sober. oh but i did get most damage blocked as reinhardt (had to look his name up) in one match!!! also winning a mungus match with @foxxxy--mulder as my co-imposter against a team of hardened vets who ate each other alive for us is one of my most cherished gaming memories of the year. i hold it close to my heart and think of it often.

stuff i’m looking forward to next year: 

resi4 remake obviously!!! i pre-ordered it immediately i’m SORRY i know pre-ordering is BAD i never do it but resi is an exception!!! and it comes out on my BIRTHDAY!!!!

oxenfree: lost signals! i know it was supposed to be released this year and has been delayed a couple times which is... not a great sign. like i am PRO-DELAY don’t get me wrong!! i’m glad to hear it for a lot of reasons!! it’s just usually when you hear stuff get pushed back... more than once it’s a little worrisome. however i’m still excited for it and hope for the best!

horizon forbidden west--yes obviously this doesn’t come out next year, but i will almost definitely be playing it in 2023. in fact it’s on sale right now for a price i don’t hate and i’m contemplating picking it up after i get paid, since ofc i’ve been aching to play this for months and months now.

hmm it seems there is a grimgrimoire remaster coming out next year. i will consider that seeing as i am a simp for vanillaware. (13 sentinels is another game i actually might get my hands on next year finally.)

OBVIOUSLY LOZ? when am i not looking forward to loz?? i am never not looking forward to loz.

MAYBE ffxvi. i’ve still not played a non-xiv ff game (YES I WILL PLAY IX AND WHATEVER THE OTHER ONE I HAVE IS EVENTUALLY SCOUT’S HONOR) but. they kinda got me with the primals in the teasers. i don’t know though. and actually even if i do decide to play it i won’t be surprised if this is a thing like forbidden west that takes me a year to get to because new AAA games are just so goddamn much money and i need to really really want something to pay that much for it.

while it has no release date and may not be coming out until at least 2024 rest assured i will be spending 2023 looking forward to hadesgame 2.

oh and pretty unlikely to be released in 2023 but that new IP from the bioshock devs?? i’m already in line for it.

with a special shoutout toooo all the games i have that i haven’t played yet. when i’m feeling less anhedonic (dare to dream) i will once again try to get back to my goal of doing short games on weekends, at least.

[actuallybarb]

The Aftermath ~ Part 2

Summary: y/n gets knocked around by a water monster, has secret-sharing time with peter, and decides mj is more important than her pride. sleep deprivation and caffeine consumption are definitely involved. 

Pairing: peter parker x reader

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, mysterio being a dick, trauma, it’s marvel what did you expect

Word Count: 3978 give or take

A/N: endgame is canon, *vomits*, but we’ve all got a thing for broken peter parker, even if all i want is his never ending happiness

                                                         ///////////

“I can’t believe you punched Flash.” Brad, of course, decided to sit next to me on the gondola ride to the hotel. Figures.

“You better believe it, ‘cuz it actually happened.” I tried to pay as little attention to him as possible and just take pictures on my phone, but he kept talking.

“Why don’t you like me?”

I groaned. “Because, Brad, you ask stupid questions like that.”

We pulled up to the hotel and were all sufficiently underwhelmed.

“It’s flooded!”

“The hotel is sinking?”

I considered helping the hotel out, at least while we stayed at it, but there wasn’t much hope left for it. I took my room key and thanked my lucky stars I didn’t have a room on the ground level. In fact, I was sharing with MJ. I waited patiently behind her as she jiggled the door open.

“Is it safe to assume the building will crumble any second now?”

MJ burst out laughing. “I think that’s an understatement.”

“If I get TB, I’m suing.”

“The hotel?”

“Harrington.”

She smiled. “C’mon, let’s get outside before we drown.”

We walked along the water and let the sun happily reflect on our exhausted faces. Everyone was enjoying themselves, but I was starting to feel queasy. It was almost imperceptible, but I could feel the city moving with the water, and it was making me sick. I started lagging back and tried to find my “sea legs,” but Peter noticed and stuck back too. “You alright?”

I plastered on a weak smile. “That long flight is catching up with me. I’m just going to grab an espresso, I’ll meet up with you guys soon.” He looked at me one more time before nodding and meeting the rest of the group.

I didn’t completely lie — I was getting an espresso. But I wasn’t going to catch up with them, at least, not for a while. I needed to get away from the water, even just for a little bit.

I can’t fly, per se. I can control the air currents around me and change them how I want them too, like I did on the airplane with the turbulence. I can do that with most elements, (except wood, I hate wood) and that gives me a heightened awareness of them. I’m basically the Avatar and the characters from Percy Jackson. All I have to do is shave my head and tattoo blue arrows on my body. (And, yes, I did watch all seven seasons of the two series and read all ten Percy Jackson books to actually figure out what the hell it was that I could do. It helped. Clearly.)

I just lifted myself to the top of the coffee shop. I’m a sucker for espresso, I like to be close to it. The distance helped. I felt grounded enough to walk on the normal streets of Venice again, but when I touched down, I suddenly lurched to the right.

“What the hell,” I muttered. I got my answer soon enough. A huge river monster was crashing its giant water arms on anything it could see. And I was directly in its path. “Oh, shit.”

I shouldn’t have been as terrified as I was. I mean, come on, I can control water. Dissipate the water man, Y/N, I can almost hear you yelling at me. Shut up, I was scared. This thing was twice as tall as any of the buildings, and it had a direct path to anywhere in the city. Me, a seventeen year old girl, against that? Not a good idea.

So, like any logical human being, I ran. And I still got clobbered with water and ended up actually falling into the water. Let me just tell you, Italy needs to get a Brita, ‘cause their river is nasty.

But, once I was actually in the water, the river monster looked a lot less intimidating. Sure, the water was churning around and sucking everything into its path, but I was in my element — literally. I got close to it, like, really close. I pushed against the flow of the water and tried to stop the monster from forming, and it worked, for a little bit. It slowed down, and I got some newfound momentum, when all of the sudden, it all stopped, and tons of water crashed to the surface. That was my cue to leave, but then something caught my eye. A flash of metal was in the water. Luck would have it, though, that I could bend water and metal (shout out to Toph Beifong). I latched onto the metal and pulled it close to me, but I couldn’t make out what it was. Didn’t mean I would trash it though, this water was disgusting enough. I tucked it in my pocket and started swimming to the surface.

I got out of the water actually pretty close to the rest of the class, but I was the only one completely drenched.

“Oh, Y/N, good! We’re all here,” Mr. Harrington celebrated. “Let’s get back to the hotel, your families will want to know you’re all fine.”

“You’re soaked.”

I shivered, even though it wasn’t cold. The temperature difference between the water and the air was enough to make me shake. “Astute observation, Brad.”

“Here, you can have my jacket.”

“Thanks, but I don’t want it.” I kept walking and managed to bump into Peter. “You got wet too?”

“Just splashed. Did you get thrown in?”

“Yeah, the bastard caught me by surprise. I’m okay, just cold.”

“Here.” Peter slung his backpack around and took out a mostly dry sweatshirt. He gestured it my way, but I didn’t take it. “It’s just a jacket, Y/N. You’ll get a cold with your hair dripping all around you.”

I knew that wasn’t how colds worked, but I took it anyway and let it soak in the water from my hair. It helped, surprisingly, at least making me not shiver. We made it back to the hotel with no other complications, aside from Flash tripping over his own shoelace because he was too busy recording for his Instagram followers to pay attention to where he was going. I quickly went upstairs and changed out of my clothes, putting on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt that used to belong to Jessica. The room had a tiny balcony, and I took advantage of it and laid out all of my clothes and Peter’s sweatshirt. The last thing MJ or I needed was a puddle of water to slip in.

I went back downstairs and sat close to the top of the stairs, not wanting to get anywhere near the water at the bottom. MJ was a few steps below me, and Peter was leaning against the stairs, talking to someone on the phone. He hung up, and I slipped past MJ and wrapped around to the phone. I was about to dial, when I remembered something. “Hey, Peter.”

“What’s up?”

I pulled him away from the stairs and whispered, “Is the plan still working?”

“The—oh, that plan. Uh, yeah, I think so. I got her this necklace of a black dahlia from a glass shop, and I want to give it to her at the top of the Eiffel Tower.”

I smiled. “That’s adorable. I’m going to use the phone, do you mind?”

“Oh, sorry, I’ll get out of your way.” We smiled at each other, then I grabbed the receiver and dialed.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mom, it’s Y/N.”

“Oh my—John, it’s her. Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Harrington wanted all of us to call our parents, so this is me, doing my due diligence. We’re still set for Paris tomorrow, so I’ll call you then, okay? Love you.” I didn’t even really wait for them to respond before I hung up. Truth was, I didn’t want to talk to them. I didn’t really want to talk to anyone, but I had to make one more phone call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jess, it’s Y/N. You watch the news nonstop, so I figured I’d call, let you know I’m okay.”

“Thank god, I was so worried about you. What happened?”

“This water monster literally came out of nowhere and knocked me straight into the murky junk, it was disgusting.”

“Were you able to help at all?” Jess was one of two other people in the world who knew about what I could do. She was the one who bought me the tv shows and books, of course she knew.

“I slowed it down at some point, but then all of a sudden it just dissipated, it was weird. I did find this weird metal thing in the water, I picked it up. I’ll send you a picture of it when I get the chance.”

“Okay. Call me soon, got it?”

“Count on it. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I wasn’t in the mood to talk anymore, so I walked up the stairs, ready to succumb to the moldy mattress in my room. Unfortunately, I had to collect my clothes.

Everything was nearly dry, and Peter’s sweatshirt was definitely dry, so I brought them inside. I almost didn’t want to give Peter his sweatshirt back, just because it was so soft, but knowing him, it was probably the only one he brought, so I walked the ten feet to his front door and knocked. I wasn’t told not to enter, so I turned the knob and walked in. “Hey, Pete, I—“ I stopped with my hand by my face, terrified. A small dart was less than an inch away from my palm. I turned to the man in the corner who was holding the gun. “Did you just try to shoot me?”

“You’re the one who came barging in.” The scary looking guy with the eyepatch leaned forward. “What’s your name?”

I laughed heartlessly. “Ha, yeah, like I’m going to tell the man who just pulled a gun on me.” I looked at Peter and threw his jacket at him. “I brought this back.” Then I turned to the man in the chair. I crunched the dart, letting it fold on top of itself before his eyes, then I let it fall to the floor. “You can keep that.” I looked at Peter one more time, then slammed the door on my way out.

MJ was laying on her bed when I walked back in, but she could tell something was up. She had impeccable observational skills. “You good?”

I was pacing, a bad habit I picked up after The Snap first happened. “I just need to look something up.”

“Well, the hotel might be sinking, but they’ve at least got good wifi.”

I finally sat and opened my laptop, then turned on my VPN and put the whole device on ‘incognito mode.’ I had some serious investigations to conduct, I didn’t need the government to see what I was doing. Okay, I only had one serious investigation, but that could possibly have lead to more, so I kept my guard up.

First search: scary-looking black man with an eyepatch. The guy’s face was the first image that popped up. Nick Fury. Ex-director of SHIELD before all of that went to shit. Now he’s running some ‘underground’ SHIELD, I guess. Now I know the guy’s name.

But why was he talking to Peter? And why did he shoot me?

I was up all night doing research. Not just on Nick Fury, but on the metal piece I had found in the water, the Avengers, and as much as I could find on Peter Parker himself. Sooner than I thought, the sun peeked between the curtains at the window and MJ’s alarm came blaring through the speakers on her phone.

“Morning,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes and finally taking a break from my computer screen.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“Are you going to yell at me if I say no?” MJ just pursed her lips. I knew she wouldn’t.

It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve pulled an all nighter. At least this one was productive.

“What’s on your bed?” She picked up a small spring and looked it over before putting it back beside the rest of the pieces of the metal thing. “Did you take apart your toothbrush?”

I chuckled. “No, I found this thing in the river when I got knocked in. I didn’t know what it was, so I took it apart.”

“Have you figured it out?”

“Not yet.” I rubbed my eyes again and groaned. “We’re going to Paris today, right?”

“Yeah.” MJ stood and stretched and I caught the smallest smile on her face when she replied. I smiled too and packed up my project. Something for another late night.

We were escorted outside with our luggage in tow, but Mr. Harrington happily informed us we would be taking a bus to Prague instead of a train to Paris. You’ve got to be kidding.

Peter was walking to the bus in front of me, but I grabbed his arm and dragged him away. “What the hell, Peter?”

“You can control metal?” He was in awe. His admiration would’ve been flattering if I wasn’t so pissed.

“You had Nick Fury in your room last night. I almost got shot last night. What the hell is going on?”

“It was only a tranquilizer, you would’ve been fine—“

“That’s not the point, Parker!” I basically hissed at him. He looked a little surprised that I was so upset. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down enough to not start shouting. “We were attacked by a water monster, I almost got shot, I didn’t sleep, and now four people in the world know what I can do, so give me some damn answers, because I sure as hell deserve them.”

Peter looked around, like he was looking for an escape, but I was ready. I might not have slept in almost 48 hours, but I wasn’t going to let him get away so easily.

Then Harrington was calling us over to the bus. Perfect timing.

“Can we talk on the bus?”

I nodded and let him lead the way to the back. Surprisingly we were the only ones that occupied those seats and the ones surrounding, but that’s what happens when you get a bunch of nerds in the same vehicle—they all sit in the front. He sat low in his seat, and I did the same, and I let him start the conversation. Prying it out of him wouldn’t be too successful, I figured, not with something like this.

We got fifteen minutes out of the city before he started talking. “Fury wanted me to go with him to meet this guy who defeated the Elemental yesterday.”

“Why you? And what’s an Elemental?”

“The water monster, it’s called an Elemental. And he asked me because I’m—I’m,” his voice dropped to an even lower whisper, “I’m Spider-Man.”

I almost didn’t believe him.

I almost burst out laughing at the hilarity of it all. Peter Parker, Spider-Man? Ridiculous.

But, remember, I learned from Toph Beifong. I can tell when people are lying.

And Peter?

Peter wasn’t lying.

Well, shit.

How do I even respond to something like that?

“Okay.” Good one. “Who was the other guy you met with?”

“You—you’re not surprised?”

Oh, young Parker, I was dumbfounded. But I had learned two years earlier how to control my heart rate, so he would never know how freaked out I actually was.

“You saw me stop a dart mid-air, Peter, you being Spider-Man is hardly out of the ordinary.”

He looked relieved, but he still hadn’t answered my question.

“Who was the other guy?”

“Oh. His name is Quentin Beck. He’s—“ another low whisper, “he’s from an alternate universe. He fought the Elementals before, and he and them got sucked into our universe when Tha—Hulk brought everyone back.” He didn’t look me in the eye when he talked about the snaps. I wouldn’t either, but I felt the little blip his heart made at the mention of Thanos’s name, so I didn’t push. Even though Quentin Beck and his story sounded like bullshit.

“Do you have a picture of him?” Peter looked at me skeptically, but hooked up his mask to his phone. A somewhat blurry picture of Quentin Beck popped up, and he sent it to me, but he didn’t seem happy about it. “I just want to know who to look out for. If I start chucking rocks at people, I don’t want to hit the wrong one.” The lie seemed to relax him a little bit. It wasn’t a complete lie, I did want to know who to look out for, but I also wanted to find this guy in our universe. “What’s the plan now?”

“They think another one will pop up in Prague—“

“Peter, we’re driving toward Prague. Shouldn’t we be going away from it?”

“I have to help fight this thing—“

“Let the Beck guy do it!” My voice had risen above a whisper and Peter quickly shushed me. “He’s done it before, he can do it again.”

“They need my help, I can—“

“Peter.” He kept muttering, convincing himself he needed to help, but I wasn’t having it. “You don’t have to save the world, Peter.”

That got him to shut up.

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t. You don’t owe the world a goddamn thing.”

“Help me.” That got me to shut up. “Help me fight the Elemental.”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Because you’re one of the only people who can! The next one that’s coming, they’re pretty sure it’s the fire elemental, and any time it absorbs metal it can get stronger. You can help us beat it by keeping the metal away from it!”

Oh. He didn’t know I could do more than that.

“Peter, I — ”

“Please.” Peter Parker had the best puppy-dog eyes I had ever seen in my life. But I wasn’t convinced.

“I’m here for a school trip, Pete, not to save the world.”

It’s like I sucker punched him. He deflated immediately and looked away, and I got up and moved a few rows ahead.

I wasn’t opposed to helping, but I didn’t want to get near Quentin Beck until I had a full story on him. And that would take a lot of research and caffeine.

“Hey, Eugene.” We had stopped for a bathroom break and he was still using his phone to update his Instagram followers on all of the happenings on our way to Prague.

“Are you here to break my jaw again, Y/L/N?”

I looked at his face and didn’t see any swelling, barely any discoloration. “Nope, you’re healing nicely, I’m impressed. Do you have a hotspot?”

“Why do you think I have a hotspot?”

“Because you’ve been on your phone the entire trip.”

“What will you do for me if I let you on it?”

I rolled my eyes and groaned. Of course he would ask for a favor. “Anything. Within reason.”

“Can I cash in on the favor later?”

Goddamnit. “Sure, whatever.”

He laughed maniacally. “Okay, Flash Hotspot is the user, and spidermanrocks is the password, no spaces, no caps.”

“Really, Eugene, you went with that password?” I almost had to laugh. He would have an aneurysm if he knew who was really Spider-Man.

“What?”

“It’s a bit obvious, don’t you think?”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. What were you doing with Parker?”

“Plotting the downfall of the European Union.” I let out a laugh. “We were talking about the water monster, and how there’s a light festival in Prague that’d be cool to go to.”

“Gonna go on a date with Penis Parker?”

“I was actually thinking about asking Brad.” That made Flash laugh, and I smiled myself. “But seriously, stop calling him that.”

“Whatever.”

Peter looked flustered as he got back on the bus, but I didn’t pry. But Brad looked awfully smug as he sat beside MJ. Focus, Y/N, you have to find Quentin Beck. I hunkered down in my seat and slipped my headphones over my ears, then logged onto Flash’s hotspot and got to work.

The number of illegal websites I went on was not something I’m willing to admit out loud, but I couldn’t find anything. Not a single facial-recognition scan showed any results for Quentin Beck, and I tried as many as I could get my hands on. But the more I looked at his face, the more I felt like I’d seen him before. And honestly, it was pissing me off.

I stared at the image on my phone, and I had a gut feeling it had to do with Tony Stark. This Beck guy was somehow connected to Stark. It’s like the answer was on the tip of my tongue. I rubbed my temples in frustration, wishing I could just reach into my memory and pull out the information when it hit me. “Memory, you’re so stupid, Y/N.”

Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing, affectionately called B.A.R.F. was presented by Tony Stark at a lecture he did at MIT almost seven years ago. But this guy had released a paper about it six months before—a guy named Quentin Beck. I remembered reading about it for a school project, and the picture of the guy was the same person Peter met.

“There’s no way.”

I looked up the article, and sure enough, I was right. Quentin Beck was the scientist behind the technology, and he was an employee for Stark Industries when the article was published.

Great, now I had to break into Stark Industries and access their archives while on a hotspot provided by Eugene Thompson. Lucky for me, we pulled into the parking lot for our much improved hotel, which meant free wifi. Unlucky for me, Mr. Harrington now felt he needed to start bossing us around, considering he was the teacher. Which meant I had to put my investigations to the side. For now.

“Okay, kids, grab your room keys, same roommates as before. Meet back in the lobby at five o’clock for the light festival!”

MJ and I dragged our cases up to the third floor. We each chose a bed, but she was moody, more than her usual angst. But I didn’t have time to play therapist. “Did we get a wifi password?”

“Uh, yeah.” She passed over the card after logging in herself and sat on her bed, glancing back at me every ten seconds.

I was typing away madly, but her stares were making me uncomfortable. “Why are you staring?”

She looked away quickly. “I’m not staring.”

“You were totally staring.” I kept clicking and typing. “What?”

“What are you looking for? I know you stayed up all last night on your computer.”

To tell or not to tell, that is the question. Not a very hard one, but it’s still the question. This secret isn’t mine to make public, though. “I’m trying to prove someone wrong.”

“Who?”

I hesitated. “Peter.”

“Why do you need to prove him wrong?”

“Because he’s gotten his idyllic little hopes up and I want to squash them like a bug.” I glanced at her and smirked. “I’m kidding. I just don’t think he’s right about something, and I’m proving it.”

She nodded, not entirely convinced. “You’re coming to the light festival, right?”

I looked at her. Really looked at her. She was pulling her long sleeves over her wrists and switching her weight from foot to foot—uncomfortable as hell. I gave her a genuine smile and closed my computer. “Wouldn’t miss it. Wanna help me figure out what to wear?”

Friends come before saving the world any day.

tags: @eridanuswave @vampirestrawberries​

[forgottenword]

Nobody asked for this and I literally have other WIPs and I haven’t gotten around to posting ANYTHING. So here’s this.Also this is written not greatly. It’s my first time trying to write out a story, or even a snippet of one, in years. So bear with me, this is going to be a long journey of finding my style and enjoying writing again.ALSO be warned I did not proof read this (and i will mostly likely never be proof reading this) so um please ignore any typos.

WC: 1818

Hotch x Female Reader (Can be seen as platonic or romantic)

It’d been a hard case. But then again, when did you and the team come back and think “Oh, that one was easy.”? It was only around ten in the morning on a Friday when you all got back to Quantico, and while Hotch sent everyone home to rest for the weekend, you watched as he went straight into his office, closing his door behind him. You mentally rolled your eyes at him and instead of following his orders, you turned to follow the boss man.

“Where you going, pretty lady?” Derek called after you when you weren’t joining the team in the elevator. You stood hesitating, holding open the glass door separating the elevator from the bullpen. You didn’t need to say anything, and instead looked back at him and then back to the door of your chief.

“If anyone will get through to him it’s you, my beauty!” Penelope got out right before the slick metallic elevator doors sandwiched together. You took a deep breath, readying yourself for the stubbornness of a Hotchner.

You take a deep breath before you finally step into the bullpen, your go bag slung over your shoulder, letting the glass door swing gently shut behind you. You let your bag drop as you walk by your desk, already feeling ten times lighter, you make your way to Hotch’s office. After climbing the few steps to his office, you brace yourself for the conversation to come.

It’s true, what Penelope said, you’re the only one that’ll be able to pry Hotch from his work. You joined the team not long after Rossi, the two of you immediately bonding after he got over his lone wolf thing. It didn’t take long for you to bond with the rest of the team either, all of them soon taking you under their wing as a new profiler. However, it didn’t go the same with Hotch. Whether that was for the worse or the better, nobody knew. The two of you bickered constantly. He dropped his cold exterior when you were around and he became just a bit more human. The team didn’t know which they liked better, pre-you Hotch or the Hotch he became when you were around. You fought like siblings most of the time. The team used to tease that it was like the two of you were an old married couple, each other’s work spouse’s, but not anymore out of respect for Haley. Everyone noticed the way he’d smirk just slightly after a squabble between you two, before dropping back into unit chief mode.

But ever since that fateful day a few months back.... even you hadn’t been able to get Hotch to smile. He was working himself into the floor most days and was here earlier than he was before. Nobody dared mentioned his change in attitude, and nobody especially mentioned how the rest of the team all knew you had it in you to put the broken pieces of a man back together to get something at least close to the old Hotch back.

You shook your head of all these thoughts, you bring your knuckles to the smooth exterior of the door, and knocked. You stood for a moment, waiting for his signal to come in, but it never came. Your eyebrows creased on your forehead, your worry lines coming through. You knock again, and once again, no answer. You sigh, and take a step to the side, peaking through his office window. You weren’t surprised to find the man slumped over his work, his eyebrows knitted closed together on his face as he quickly fills out form after form on his desk.

“Fuck it,” You mumble to yourself. God, I really need sleep I’m talking to myself now. You crack the door open enough to slip your head in, you clear your throat, hoping to catch the attention of your superior. Luckily, for you, he looked up at the sudden noise that broke the silence of his office.

“Y/l/n, what are you still doing here? I thought I told everyone to take the day.” He looked up at you for what seemed like a millisecond before his eyes drifted back down to his work. You took this as a your queue to take a small step into the room.

“You did sir, but you said everyone, yet you’re still here.” You kept your tone more formal, you haven’t been your usual self since..

He sighed. “Y/l/n, I really don’t have time for your games right now. Now go home and get some rest, that’s an order.” This time he looked up at you, meeting your eye.

“With all due respect sir, I can’t do that until you agree to leave too.” His eyes hardened as you didn’t take his order, you did your best to not let your eye contact waiver. You prepared yourself for this battle with him before coming in, you weren’t going down with a fight. He dropped his pen and straightened up now. “Y/n, I won’t ask again.”

“Then I won’t be refusing again.” Your crossed your arms over your chest, a determined look taking residence on your face. “Y/n, I don’t have time for this.”

“Then I think it’s time we both head out then. Come on you’ve got Jack waiting up on you and here you are-“ Your pestering sentence was interrupted but a much sharper, harsher one. “Don’t you tell me how and when to parent my son y/l/n.”

“Hotch, god no, I didn’t mean to sir. I’m sorry.” You turned to leave, feeling that you’ve overstayed your welcome and that you wouldn’t be getting through to him this time. “I’ll see you Monday, sir.” You were halfway out the door when his voice stopped you, this time much softer.

“Y/n wait.” His voice was apologetic as he leaned back in his chair, fully looking at you. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. These last few months have just been..” He ran a hand over his face, not being able to finish the sentence.

“Oh, Aaron, believe me, I know. I don’t need you to spell it out for me.” You stared at him, locking eyes and an intense feeling filled the air. After what seemed like hours, you cleared your throat. “I didn’t mean to overstep just then, I just want you to take care of yourself too, sir.”

You watched as he seems to crumble under your words. His tough, put-together facade falling. “You’re here for all of us when we need to take a moment to get ourselves together You allow us to confide in you and let us know you’ll stay strong for us when we can’t. You’re allowed to do that same, Aaron.” His eyes were now trained on the desk, his jaw tight as he clenched his teeth. You knew if he let himself relax he might break, and Aaron Hotchner did not let others see him with his walls down.

“Y/n..” If you were surprised by his use of your first name, you didn’t show it. “I don’t know how to be a good father and a good unit chief. I..” His took a shuddering breath. “I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” You asked as softly as you could.

“Afraid of failing both Jack and the team.” His voice broke at his son’s name. He seemed to be one word away from allowing his mind to take him.

You’d never heard our chief, my boss, sound so broken and lost. The man whose face is made of stone, unchanging and firm, the man who could weather any storm, the man who beat a man into the floorboards our of anger, grief, and to protect his son, looked like a child, his wall down and his vulnerability shining through. He was like a great oak tree, roots running deep, roots that would keep him grounded no matter what might come at him, but right now he looked as if he might allow the current storm take him. You couldn’t allow that.

“Let’s go home Aaron.” You said ever so softly, taking the smallest of steps towards his desk, as if you were approaching a frightened animal. His eyes snapped to yours at the mention of home, don’t read into that, and he took one last, defeated, sigh.

He just sat there, a little blankly, as you cleaned up his desk. After papers into his briefcase, grabbing old coffee cups to be dropped off in the kitchenette, and turning off his lamp, you turned to him expectantly. He was so lost in thought he wasn’t pulled out of his head until you had his chaired turned towards you and your hand was holding his, pulling gently. You gave him a gentle smile, one that just barely pulled at the corners of your mouth, and squeezed his hand. I’m here.

He allowed you to take him to your car and to drive him to his house where Jess was with a young Jack. You walked him to the door and before knocking you turned towards him. He stared ahead, his eyes fogged over by the heavy thoughts in his head.

“Aaron, go he a dad for the weekend, okay? We’ll manage without you if we get a case.” Your words startled him out of his thoughts, and the ending caused him to have a look you couldn’t decipher on his face, sadness perhaps. “It’s only a few days and Reid can probably give you a statistic on how likely it is we’d actually get called in on our weekend off. Any longer without you and all hell’d break loose.”

Your reassurance made his worry lines lessen slightly before he knocked on the door and was welcomed in by his family. You didn’t miss the way Jess looked from you and Aaron, an unreadable look on her face.

Later that night you stopped by with takeout for the three of them from one of Hotch’s favorite local business, and a batch of your famous chocolate chip cookies. You didn’t leave without giving him another warning to not come in.

*******

You weren’t surprised the next morning to see Hotch coming in, albeit an hour or so later than usual. In lieu, he was surprised to see not only you, but the entire team working at their desks on their Saturday off. He didn’t need to ask why they were there or who was behind it. Instead he just took a moment to stare at the back of your head as you spoke animatedly to Derek and Reid. He got the message loud and clear this time, especially considering you hand wrote “We’re here” largely on a piece of paper and stuck it to his desk.

He smiled to himself. Maybe he wasn’t as alone in this dark world as he thought he was. Maybe he’d found his light.

@winterscaptain

[ziracona]

What do you see happening after Josh is being rescued? Does he meet everyone of his friend eventually or some of them keep their distance? I read one of your answers about them abandoning him and honestly I don't think they didn't care at all about him, but the events were so traumatic and scary that they probably had a hard time taking into consideration that small possibility of him being alive. Plus I guess it's also part of the smooth flow of the game if it makes sense, Mike doesn't go after Jess either after he sees her falling into the mines and accuses Josh of killing her without being 100% sure that she is dead and without seeing Josh around when shit happened to her. But if I were Josh maybe I would be upset knowing they didn't come for me at all. So how would a reunion go?

That’s valid! You can interpret the lack of an interest in rescuing Josh to multiple things—that they are very sure he’s dead, if you want to be as generous as possible to them. That they think he’s probably dead and are afraid of dying too more than willing to save him, that they’re (sans Chris) too mad about the prank he pulled, etc. And I can see why people would go for any number of them. I think to me it has always read like they think he is probably dead, and the whatever he has, 30%, 20% chance? Of still being alive just isn’t enough for them to feel motivated to face very likely death to go hunting for him, especially with flamethrower dude just dead doing the same. Which makes /me/ angry, because Mike went batshit after seeing Jess wounded and dragged through a window and more trying to save her, multiple characters can kill themselves trying to save the others in the finale, etc, and I just think if you /can/ save someone who is your friend—or like, you have a shot anyway—you don’t know it is too late. You should. (& true Jess can still be alive and Mike will assume she is dead, but in his defense, so do basically all blind playthroughs she looks like she falls four stories or something while already almost dead I can’t fault Mike for assuming that was a 100% death there. Boy really tried. Whereas Josh’s vanishing from the shed is much less confirmed. There is no ‘I watched him fall’ here. Just a neither he nor his dead body were still in the shed so /something/ happened). Like I do get it, that’s a terrifying situation and not helping doesn’t = not caring, but I will hold it against characters if they don’t risk themselves to save their friends and I will be unhappy with them. Loyalty is very important to me. But it is a truly terrifying situation.

But I also get why they’d be terrified to go out there. I don’t think it makes them evil to not want to risk it till they have to, it just makes me disappointed in them. I don’t think I said I think they didn’t care about him—typo if I did, because I certainly don’t think that at all! I think Chris was traumatized and felt very sure he was dead, Ashley didn’t care (she explicitly says she thinks he deserves it and tries to stop Chris from saving him the first time), Emily doesn’t care a lot one way or another and is mostly on her own trauma right now and thinking about Matt and the awful shit she saw, that Sam does care but thinks he is probably dead and is in team mom mode and cares more about trying to keep as many friends alive as possible right now than anything else and doesn’t want to lose the others, and Mike is still pissed but also feels very bad and would prefer for Josh to make it but is also more focused on group survival and not losing anyone else since he just lost someone he loves horribly (based largely on how his reaction to the safe room scenario is either to kill Emily and feel awful but do it because he very vocally and visibly doesn’t want the others to be killed and she won’t go peacefully, and he’s terrified of losing them, or to try but not be able to because he loves Emily, and instead give the gun to the others to try to save themselves with in the event she /does/ turn). And although he’s a right coward bastard for leaving Josh if Josh gets grabbed instead of killed, down in the mines, I do think he cared about Josh. He seems truly sorry to some extent when he finds him, and does /try/ to lead him out of the mines. At the point they make the decision to go for the cable car key, I don’t think they don’t care at all, except Ashley. I just think they should care more. Although I tend to give Chris a pass because he just watched a man get beheaded, has strong reason to think Josh is dead, is injured, and spends the entire rest of the game more or less in traumatized mode quiet in the corner.

But that said I can also see why people would interpret the reactions to mean they all believe he is very dead, and mean they’re going after his corpse! I can see lots of basis in-game to interpret in quite a number of ways. And be generous to the fool kids if you want to! I /super/ hold abandoning Josh in the mines wildly against Mike, but Mike is still one of my favorite characters in the whole game. I love how flawed the cast is and that you go in hating most of them and only slowly grow to care because you don’t want them dead-dead, which keeps you there long enough to see some of their good sides. *cheff’s kiss* the great ability of the horror genre. The bar to initially invest is so low, it lets you have such a multi-faceted cast.

Okay anyway, original question! What do I see happening after Josh gets rescued and exorcised.

I think he meets up with all of them again eventually. Interesting to think from Josh’s pov how he’s going to feel. I expect to some degree he does feel abandoned, and fairly, and in RoB it is very clear he is afraid to some extent of Mike and Chris after being dragged off and tied up and left in the shed, and the things they said to him. He also /definitely/ feels massively guilty and self-blaming about all of it. He’s telling himself through Hill that no one will come for him and it’s his own fault by the final chapter. And mostly he’s just afraid of Mike and in ptsd dissociating mode by the time Sam and Mike find him. So, mixed feelings on his part I expect. Lots of fear and pain and hurt at being abandoned and so universally believed capable of murder, hurt, left to die alone in the mines. Pretty damn betrayed, and that on top of the hurt from what happened to his sisters and the inherent paranoia of paranoid schizophrenia. Hurt that they just left him. Hurt they didn’t believe him. Hurt nobody came for him until it was too late. Hurt he got betrayed again. Probably pretty miserable overall. But with that, also feels really bad about going too far and hates and blames himself intensely for everything, and I expect is also kind of not just traumatized but ashamed of what happens to him, and everyone knowing about the possession and the cannibalism. Probably he wants to lock himself in a room in the corner of a big house and never come out. But also is intensely and miserably and hopelessly lonely. Probably feels all of his friendships are likely broken beyond repair.

I don’t think they are though. Chris “I’m not your bro” six seconds later “bro are you for real?” Hartley almost dies trying to save him and wouldn’t care about the possession stuff except to be worried about him. Sam is angry and harboring some resentment, but clearly reacts to Mike reporting he is gone with regret. Mike would probably feel very guilty for leaving him and be hesitant to reconnect and then defensive doing it, but I think he cares. Jess wasn’t even there for this shit so probably she does. Same for Matt maybe? Ashley and Emily are harder to guess for. I think Ashley would be incredibly angry and resentful—I mean she wants him dead in-game, but might eventually join the others if the others got over stuff? Bc she’s also kinda a joiner? Really it’s hard to say she is a very...hair-trigger character. Volatile and intensely and massively changeable. Probably the least predictable of all. That kind of person scares me deeply in real life because I have been very backstabbed by them before. >.> But anyway hard to say. Also a lot of this depends on what ending, even assuming they all live. But I usually assume that like, Mike almost shot Em, didn’t, Matt tried to save her, Sam saw the workshop, etc ending. Emily I really don’t know. She’s a very self-reliant and hard person. She didn’t have anything very specifically for or against Josh with her experience, but wasn’t that close to him before, so I think she just kinda falls wherever she falls.

I think mostly though that they’d reconnect. Definitely Chris would jump to it, and I think Sam would too—she’s a well educated, empathetic and understanding person. She’d know he needs her. And Chris is his childhood best friend and cares the whole game. I think Mike would try to go too because of guilt, and because he’s a decent guy. Probably so would after not much time those least effected by what Josh did. I think Josh would be alone while being exorcised and probably reocvering in a hospital some after, and Chris would be the first, or Chris and Sam possibly. I think he’d be afraid to see them, and it would be complicated and messy and painful for them all, but it would be okay and sort itself out and they’d find old ground quickly. And having them there would be /incredibly/ vital to helping him recover. I think eventually he’d get back on his feet, and a lot of his old friends would be around and stay in his life. I think things would get better. I’d say the OG ExorJosh comic writer I think did a good job of guessing about what a lot of it would be like. Hard, and slow, and messy. But a lot of them care for him, and I think that would matter enough to help things get okay between them again.

[too-much-fandoms-trash]

MBAV theory and ending

Hello everyone ! Here I am to discuss our beloved but too soon cancelled show : My Babysitters’s A vampire’s. Mostly its ending but not only. Damn you Disney for that cliffhanger...

Warning, it’s a really long post ! It’s around 2k words. I didn’t put it under a cut, but I can if asked. The first part (half ?) of this post is something about the MBAV universe, that I use to explain my theory about the ending. Then I will explain it, what happened and all with that, and they a small paragraph of what could have been the beggining of season 3. I’d be really happy if you guys read, and what do you think about it. So, here we go ! (Please forgive the typos)

Anyway, before talking about the ending I want to speak about the vampires and their so called “immortality”. Throughout all the show it was clearly stated that all vampires are immortal. Yet, we see a lot of them dying (killed by wooden stakes, holy water, special daggers, etc.). Sooo, are they really that immortal, or can they just live as long as possible until they’re killed ? The show doesn’t answer it, and we never saw a vampire that was killed coming back. (Except for Jesse, but his case is a bit special, with the Cubile Animus and all, so we’re not talking about it here). But ! The movie answers it, more specificly Sarah. Remember the scene when they are at Ethan’s house and they are attacked by the pizza guy, who happens to be a vampire sent by Jesse ? Yeah ? Cool, because it tells us an intersting thing. So, Sarah kills him with a wooden stake, and a bit later Ethan asks if he’s really dead. Sarah then answers, and I quote : “ Not...dead, no, just in some kinds of limbo for souls.”

Oh boy. So, it’s clear : when vampires are killed, they don’t die. Their souls go into a limbo. But first of all, what is a limbo, you may ask ? I’m going to answer as simply as I can. A limbo is something from the catholic theology. Well, not only, but in the case of the show, it’s in this sense; let’s not forget that vampires can’t approach someone who’s holding a christian cross or just making a cross with sticks or whatever (I’m almost totally sure we see it in MBAV, but correct me if I’m wrong on that). So, in catholic theology, the “Underworld” is composed in 4 parts : Hell as we know it (”Hell of the Damned”), the Purgatory, the Limbo of the Fathers and the Limbo of Infants. Here, we don’t care about the second limbo, because it is for children who weren’t baptized.  So the Limbo of the Fathers it is ! That’s still not very helpful to you, I know, but I’m getting to it. So, what is it ? It’s a place where the souls of those who have commited sins but died in the friendship of God (I’m quoting wikipedia here, ahem). So, bad people but that could still go to Heaven but only if Mr. Jesus Christ come to pardon them. But I may be going a bit too far for MBAV here. Let’s continue, shall we ? Vampires are by definition a sin, for the Religion. So, it’s clear they’re not going to Heaven. But, they are immortal beings, so it’s not as if they could go to hell anyway. However, the souls of the killed vampire have to go somewhere, so they go in the limbo. Why not the Purgatory ? I don’t really know, and my theories are not really useful in the point I’m trying to make here about MBAV. And I probably already digressed too much... but hey, a little culture never hurts.

So ! It could stop here : the souls of the killed vampires go into that limbo because they can’t go anywhere else, and it’s done. But Sarah’s sentence is not done ! Just after the limbo thing, she says : “But he won't be back here.” If she just said that the pizza vampire guy wouldn’t be back, it wouldn’t change anything, it would just emphasize that he’s dead. However, notice the “here” at the very end of the sentence. Just that little word changes the meaning ! He won’t be back here, but he will be back somewhere else. Then, we understand that vampires are really immortal ! First they are “killed”, their soul go into the limbo for an unknown time, and then they come back. As I just said, we don’t know how long their soul stay in the limbo. Sure, we never saw vampires come back on the show, but I think it’s just because it’s not in the plot. I would say it takes a few days for the soul to come back, maybe weeks but not more. Maybe it depends of the cause of death ? I don’t know. Remember that it’s just me founding out things out of just one line, I can only theorize what I don’t know.

Well, it’s great that we found that. But... what for ? Okay, we learned something but it doesn’t really apply to the MBAV story / plotline... Or does it ?

Now, I’m bringing on the table “The Date To End All Dates, Part 2″, aka the awful cliffhanger that we all hate deeply. That left us with SO many questions, and no answers. This post is now going to be about “what would have happened in season 3 episode 1 (and possibly 2 too) ?” Here’s a quick recall of how the episode ended : VP Stern, Ethan, Benny, Sarah and Jesse are at the Council and there is a big boom all over White Chapel. Anastasia, Erica and Rory are in what looks like the mountains, at least they’re not in White Chapel. Anastasia said she was waiting for the explosion to happen, and visibly just wanted to go far enough to not be in it with the remaining vampires (are Rory and Erica the two last of the Council that could make it with her ?). So, she knew what Stern wanted to do. What was his plan already ? Jesse tells us that the Council has a broadcast system, originally used to communicate with other covens, that Stern would use to spread the Lucifractor’s power all over White Chapel and thus, killing all vampires in town.  But, aren’t vampires immortal, able to come back and all, as we’ve seen before ? As you know it, the Lucifractor is designed especially to kill vampires definitely by “absorbing the dark energy that keep vampires alive”, to quote Jesse. We saw Stern use it on vampires, it “shoots” like a purple lightnight, and the vampire turns to dust. So, the explosion happened. What would be the most logical thing to happen after that cliffhanger, aka season 3 ep 1 ? Main theory would be that the Lucifractor worked, which implies Sarah and Jesse being dead, along with the other remaining White Chapel vampires in town (but not Anastasia, Rory and Erica, because they are “safe” far away). Benny, Ethan and Stern on the other hand would be alive, because the Lucifractor only kills vampires and doesn’t affect humans. But... is it really what happened ? Of course not.

First of all, it is a Disney Channel show. That cliffhanger was made in the optic of having a third season, to continue the story. The show would never have killed one of its main character, especially Sarah. Count it as an argument or not, it’s true.  Second of all, I bet the explosion that happened didn’t go the way Stern intended. The plan was just to broadcast the Lucifractor’s power, nothing more. But if you don’t remember, Ethan went into Stern’s mind just before the explosion. I won’t describe the entire scene, but basically Ethan tells Stern that he is just a human. That without the Lucifractor, he is totally powerless. Ethan emphasize the fact that Stern is nothing without the Lucifractor, in a cocky and clever way. And let’s not forget it’s Ethan, the “brain” one of the group. Yet he wasn’t panicking, he was confident in what he was doing, going into Stern’s mind. He had a plan. What next ? Ethan’s remarks kind of angered Stern and he tells Ethan “Stop saying that ! I can draw all the energy I need from this and then the power will be in me and I can get rid of this little bubble.” Ethan says a last thing that pushes Stern over the edge. Stern stops what he was doing (which is shooting Jesse and Sarah with the Lucifractor, who are okay just after that) and then, he takes the Lucifractor and makes the mistake. He takes the power for himself. He feels it, he says “I can feel the power, the deepest darkness. You’re such a fool, you’ll never stop me now !”. Then, still with confidence, Ethan tells the other to run, and the explosion happens.

I believe that Ethan’s plan worked. I believe he wanted Stern to take the Lucifractor’s power to himself. By dragging him down, saying he couldn’t handle it... and it worked ! Stern thought he could take it and be all powerful and everything. But... he’s still just a human. And a normal human can’t physically handle all that power, that darkness. The explosion wasn’t Stern broadcasting the Lucifractor’s power, it was him. Stern’s body couldn’t bare all that and, because of the Lucifrator, exploded. But, theeen, what if if it had the same effect, and still killed Sarah and Jesse ? To that I will answer that even if the explosion looked the same as it would if the plan worked (as Anastasia is probably thinking), it is probably way less powerful than if should have been. First because Stern was trying to take the power, the Lucifractor wasn’t in “attack mode” (I think ?). But mostly because Stern took the Lucifractor in his hands, therefore ending the “broadcast” thing. My two other arguments are that, well it’s still a Disney Channel show, and Ethan’s confidence. As I said, he pulled a very clever move. He probably remembered Jesse telling him that Stern’s great great grandfather was mostly hella greedy of power, more than willing to clean White Chapel from vampires. It’s still canon that Ethan has a crush on Sarah and that he cares deeply for her (as Grandma Weir says, more for her than anyone ! (Just because it’s canon doesn’t mean I agree with that, okay ? But that’s what it said, and I’m working with the canon)). So he definitely didn’t waste precious time running away if he didn’t have a smart plan that he knew would work.

Hey, I’m still not done ! God that’s a long post. But then... what happened to Jesse and Sarah ? Yes, I said that the explosion was less powerfull than intended, but it still happened. Remember the first part of this post ? That’s right. The limbo for souls. That’s where I believe Sarah and Jesse would have been in the beggining of season 3. Sure, they would be weak. But they wouldn’t be dead. Now, that’s just my theory coming. I don’t really have the canon help anymore at this point, so here’s what I think is the most logic thing that could have happened.

Boom. They explosion went all over White Chapel. Benny and Ethan are knocked off and wake up after a few hours, possibly at dawn. Because hey, that’s still an explostion. Ironically, Stern’s the one who turned into dust. His body really couldn’t handle that. Benny and Ethan are relived, Sarah’s body is still here and intact, yet unconscious next to Jesse’s. But even after hours, they don’t wake up. Benny and Ethan kinda panic, and go to Evelyn (grandma Weir). She has theories but isn’t an expert in vampires, so can’t really help. The plan is to find Anastasia, Rory and Erica. They believed the explosion went as planned and went away. As Anastasia said before, they’ll just wait until Stern dies of old age. (Erica and Rory want to go back to check on Sarah, but missy vampire child tells them she is dead, and with her mind control thing, they can’t do anything). But Sarah is not dead, at least that’s what Ethan says, but they could start to loose hope at some point, and the guys are on their way to find Anastasia, because if anyone knows something about what to do, it’s her (they also want to have their friends back). They find her, and here’s the what happens : Sarah (as well as Jesse) are stuck in the limbo. Normally, they would be able to “come back to life” by themselves, but the Lucifractor weakened them, therefore they can’t escape the limbo. At least, not alone. It’s up to the fang gang to go there and bring their friend back (and they hesitate, but bring back Jesse too). They go back to White Chapel, and season 3 continues.

Now, I’m done ! I really hope I didn’t annoy you guys with my long post. If you like my theory, I’d be very happy if you tell me, I might try to write it, as a real fanfiction more than just a paragraph. Please, tell me what you think about it ! 

MBAV will ride again !

[akaknightress-blog]

               “ something smells like shit & it isn’t me this time. maybe it’s the bar. looks like that spot over there got stained with vomit over it’s unfortunate life span. god damn, i think someone needs to burn this bar down. “

          yeah, she’s a little bit drunk but it’s an improvement over how she used to be. “ i’m getting some of those shitty fucking cheese sticks if you want any. don’t worry, they’re on me. you’d be pissed if i convinced you to pay for ‘em anyway. “

          from behind the bar -- where the owner had been standing just a few feet from jess, within earshot, comes a big, giant “GO FUCK YOURSELF, LADY!” which gets a somewhat sadistic cackle out of the private investigator before she launches into an equally toxic, & dispassionately delivered, response. “ what? it’s true, asshole, maybe you should clean your bar & check out how to make real cheeses ticks on youtube! i’m buying the shit anyways, right?! gordon ramsay has a goddamn youtube channel but you’re buying shit out of wawa freezers and gas stations! “

[nickelkeep]

No Cheeseburgers in Paradise

Pairing: Dean/Cas Rating: Teen, for some language Word Count: 5.7K Warnings: Sam POV, Canonverse Divergent after S8 Written For: nickel’s storytime On Ao3

Sam hadn't thought of having a place to set down roots in a very long time. Maybe when he had been with Jess, back at Stanford. But that was years ago, and his home had reverted back to pre-Jess, the back seat of the Impala, and motel rooms across the country. So the parting gift from their Grandfather was a strange surprise, to say the least.

At most, Sam had thought that it was just a warehouse in which the Men of Letters kept their magical relics and volumes of lore. He never expected it to be a fully functional base of operations. Bedrooms, Bathrooms, a Kitchen? That was not what Sam thought he would find as he explored the bunker.

Sam didn't expect to find Dean instantly claiming the place as home. In a matter of minutes, his older brother had claimed room eleven and started straightening it out. Dean even went as far hanging up his clothes in the modest closet, on long-forgotten hangers.

Seeing his brother's almost instant attachment to the bunker, Sam couldn't help but find a room, knowing that Dean wouldn't let him live it down if he didn't. He picked a bedroom that was as many spaces away from the bathroom as Dean's but in the opposite direction. If Dean wanted to settle in, Sam could use that to his advantage and make a physical separation from Dean as well.

The distance between rooms didn't stop Dean from mothering over Sam. He rolled his eyes as Dean referred to his new mode as nesting: cleaning and organizing the bunker, turning it into a home for the pair of them. The latest chore Dean had given himself, and one Sam hadn't seen in a long time?

Cooking.

Sam smelled the meal before Dean turned into the Library, two plates in hand. Dean set one in front of Sam, confirming what the younger Winchester had already thought. Dean had taken use of the kitchen and made them each their own burger.

"Uh, thanks, Dean." Sam looked down at the burger Dean had set before him. "Special occasion tonight?"

"Nope. Was just doing that nesting thing. Figured I could clean the kitchen, then I tested the stove, then I remembered we did some shopping. So I cooked." Dean sat at the next table over, observing Sam. "It's nice to have a full-size kitchen."

"I'm sure." Sam nodded, his eyes not leaving the burger on the plate. "You know, I'm not all that hungry."

"That's bullshit, and you know it, Sammy." Dean bit into his burger and smiled. "Man, when's the last time I was able to make something like this?"

"At Madison's place," Sam mumbled under his breath. "Or maybe before you and Bobby met Cas." Sam shot a look at over Dean, who was blissfully unaware of Sam's comments as he devoured his burger. He shook his head and stared back down at the burger on his plate. It had taken Sam years to figure it out, but Dean's burgers - while fucking delicious - were completely and utterly cursed.

While the outcome of eating Dean's food wasn't always adverse, something would always happen.

"Sammy, eat." Dean pointed at the burger. "I've really outdone myself this time."

Sam bit his bottom lip, dreading what was coming, but nodded all the same as he picked up the burger and took a bite. He let out an almost obscene moan as he devoured Dean's burger. His older brother wasn't kidding when he said this was his best yet. Guiltily and nervously, Sam finished off his dinner before looking at Dean. "That was amazing."

"Right? Now just wait until I get the stuff for making pie. I can even make the crust from scratch with the kitchen we have!" A broad smile widened across Dean's face as he leaned back in his seat. "I'm excited!"

"Well, don't get too excited." Sam tossed a paper over to Dean. "We've got a case." Sam rested his hand in his lap and crossed his fingers. The last thing the brothers needed was the world falling apart on them because Dean kept cooking for them while in the bunker.

Dean bit his bottom lip and nodded. "This looks like a Winchester thing."

Sam let out a sigh of relief.

…

On the way back from the case, Sam found himself silently cursing the fact that he and Dean had both eaten Dean's burgers. The case thing had been surprising and more of a case than even Sam had realized. Dean ended up killing Hitler for a second time. On the way back to the Bunker Dean practically called everyone - talking to anyone who would answer. Cas, that vampire guy, Kevin... Clearly, Dean eating his own burger had been a perk.

While nothing had genuinely happened to Sam, he found himself looking twice at shadows and jumping at sudden sharp noises. Not a good thing when your best friend is an angel that liked to blip around.

As the weeks continued, Sam found himself making salads to keep himself from eating more of Dean's Burgers.

Dean came storming into the kitchen. "Dude! Kevin's figured out the tablet. He knows how to close the gates of Hell!" Dean stopped in front of Sam and pointed down at the salad. "Did you try out that salad dressing I left you in the fridge?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Sam looked up at Dean in surprise. "You made salad dressing?" Sam blanched at the realization he had something Dean had prepared.

"Yeah, we were getting low on that vinaigrette that you like, so I tried my hand at making it," Dean smirked. "Must not have done so bad if you couldn't tell the difference."

Sam swallowed and shook his head, trying not to let his nervousness show. "Nope, we're good, Dean. I couldn't tell the difference at all." Sam pushed the salad away. "So, about Kevin?"

"Dude, we can close Hell. I just need to go through three tests or trials concocted by God. Completed, they slam all the gates shut. We just need to find a hellhound for me to kill."

Sam blanched. He ate Dean's food, and now Dean was going to have to kill a hellhound. Sam cringed internally and reached for his laptop, and gestured for Dean to sit down. "Let's find a demon deal, shall we?"

"Hell yeah!" Dean rubbed his hands together and sat across from his brother

...

It was Sam who had stumbled on the string of luck in Shoshone, Idaho, ten years prior. He wasn't sure if that was lucky or unlucky for him and Dean. However, he still chalked up, locating the goldmine of activity to the fact he had eaten Dean's vinaigrette. Which had Sam thinking. What if it wasn't the food that Dean cooked that was cursed?

He knew he was supposed to be researching the Cassity family as Dean drove them. However, he was too busy focusing on and trying to remember all the times Dean had prepared food for him.

Dean's go-to food was burgers. If he could spare the time - like at Bobby's or when they could get a motel room - he would go all out, making them meals. And since they were mostly burgers, Sam's mind automatically associated Dean's burgers with their sudden changes in luck. But looking at the incident that got them on the road - that was salad dressing for fuck's sake - or another recent event where Kevin fell off the boat after eating a burrito Dean had made him. Sam needed to wonder:

Was Dean cursed? How would Dean have gotten cursed? Sam ran his fingers through his hair and tugged. How could he even broach the topic of Dean possibly being cursed?

Watching as Dean tapped his fingers on the steering wheel along to AC/DC's Hell's Bells, Sam vowed to keep his mouth shut until he could prove beyond a doubt that Dean was cursed. He pulled out his notepad and started taking notes.

As they pulled up to the Cassity Ranch, Sam looked over the list he started. He had matched up instances of Dean's cooking with significant events in their life, going back to before he had even left for Stanford. He pinched the bridge of his nose, massaging it in irritation before looking over at his older brother exiting the Impala. Without a doubt, there was a correlation between Dean's cooking, the amount of prep work that his brother put into it, and how big of a swing in luck it caused.

Now all Sam needed to figure out was how Dean got cursed.

Sam hadn't realized that Ellie had put Dean on grill duty. He figured that Dean was lurking, looking for any sign of the hellhound. However, when the patriarch Noah asked Ellie what her new secret to the grilled food was, she mentioned that Dean knew his way around the grill. Sam took a look at the grilled chicken he had started to eat, and almost instantly lost his appetite.

Accepting his fate, Sam took a quick pitstop in his room to write up a quick theory about Dean's curse and folded it up, hiding it in his duffel bag. If something were to happen to him, Dean would eventually go through his bag and find the letter and be able to put two and two together. If he somehow came out of the whole ordeal unscathed, he could pick up from where he left off.

Sam took a deep breath before zipping up his bag. He told Noah and Margie he'd join them on a slightly drunken night hunt. The hellhound distorted the sounds it made as it traversed through the woods, and was able to easily take down Margie, the youngest Cassity.

With Dean finding out that a third Crossroads deal was made, Sam was benched so Dean could undertake the trials. Listening to the remaining Cassitys bicker was a nightmare. And when the oldest slipped her cuffs - Sam was totally blaming that one on Dean - and ran outside, he realized how much trouble Dean was actually in. He shooed the oldest sibling back inside and ran to the barn, chasing after the hellhound that was going after Ellie.

Sam shot at the hellhound, striking it, and was promptly attacked. From there, Sam's luck changed. Much to Dean's annoyance, despite him not knowing the cause why, Sam killed the hellhound and became the brother who would undergo the Trials of God.

...

As the weeks passed, Sam was able to use his attachment to the trials to wave off Dean's food. Not that it kept Dean from fretting over him. It made researching the curse on Dean even harder to figure out. He still hadn't figured out a way to explain to his brother that he was cursed. Would Dean even buy it?

Sam had contemplated going to Cas, but a second look at his list made him realize something. Some of the references Sam had found were pre-Cas: the burgers Dean made at a cookout before him getting accepted at Stanford, the ones Dean made on the drive back to Stanford after the Woman in White, and the ones at Madison's place. There were smaller, less complicated meals, Sam was sure of it, but Dean had made them. If those were done before Cas came into their life, it meant either Cas knew about the curse and didn't care, or that the curse was something that even the angel couldn't fix.

The second trial came and went. Freeing Bobby from Hell had been an ordeal, and Sam had to wonder what Dean had eaten to make it so catastrophic. Adding the event to his list, Sam focused on lifting the curse off of his brother. They were getting closer to the end, and while he had every intention of seeing the trials all the way through, Sam had a feeling they would also be his downfall.

The day before the brothers started the third trial, Sam asked Dean for a burger. He figured that the worst that could happen was that he would die. Sam partially expected it, especially with how rapidly he had deteriorated over the past several months. In the best-case scenario, it would change his luck, and he would live. Just like he had at the Cassity's and before making the trek to Hell for the second trial, he left a letter and his findings for Dean, explaining what he knew of the curse.

As the third trial progressed, Sam realized that the burger wasn't helping him. He wasn't sure if it was slowing down the process so he could complete it, but Sam knew that he wasn't going to make it, and only hoped that Dean would forgive him.

…

Sam didn't remember passing out as he woke up in the Impala. "Dean?"

"Sleeping beauty finally decided to wake up?"

"What happened?" Sam looked out at the road. "The last thing I remember is the church..."

"Long story short? The Trials failed. You've been out cold for two days. That Metatron dick tricked Cas, and the Angels fell." Dean shrugged. "We're meeting Cas back at the bunker and double-checking the wardings. He's kind of a wanted ex-angel."

Sam tilted his head, and a shiver shot through his nerves. "Ex-angel?"

"Metatron stole his grace," Dean growled. "He fucking de-powered Cas and kicked all the angels out of Heaven knowing they'd be after him."

"So, what's the next step? Find a way to get the angels back to Heaven?"

"Yep, and keep Cas safe," Dean commented. "Teach him how to human, show him the ropes, get him tatted up," Sam swore that he saw Dean's Adam's apple bob up in a swallow. "We just keep moving one foot at a time."

"Sounds like a plan." The last part of Sam's sentence was muted by his yawn. "How far out from the bunker are we?"

Dean shrugged. "Hour. An hour and a half. Go back to sleep. We'll start on fixing our mess when we get back."

Sam didn't have to be told twice. He rested his head against the window and promptly passed back out for the rest of the trip.

...

Cas greeted them at the doorway to the bunker, pulling Sam into a quick hug before pulling Dean into a prolonged embrace. Sam smiled at the casual affection between his brother and Cas when a thought triggered in his brain. Sam liked seeing the pair of them happy. And if Cas and Dean made each other happy, that made Sam even happier.

But Cas had never eaten Dean's food before.

If Cas was no longer an angel and was a full-fledged human, he was going to need to eat. If Cas was going to eat, he was going to eat Dean's food. Sam dragged his hand down his face at the realization and made his way to his room to drop off his bag before heading to the Library to keep researching.

Sam had lost track of time when Cas sat down across from him. The former angel sat a burger in front of him and had a burger of his own. "Dean said you should eat, that you haven't eaten approximately forty-eight hours."

"I, uh." Sam looked down at the plate Cas sat in front of him and felt his stomach grumble. He looked back up at Cas and watched as Cas happily and eagerly bit into the sandwich. "I don't think I could keep it down."

"Would you actually know unless you tried?" Cas groaned around another bite of burger. "Dean said he remembered me liking burgers during the confrontation with Famine. He thought that would be a good first meal that he cooked for me."

"How are they?" Sam tried to casually write down the date and time on his growing list of food and luck coincidences.

"I do enjoy them." Cas took the last bite of his burger and smiled, before guiltily looking at Sam's burger, then Sam. "Are you not going to eat that?"

Sam couldn't help but chuckle, remembering times that Dean had stolen Cas' food that he ordered to blend in. He updated the 'burger' on his list to '2 burgers' and pushed his plate to Cas. "If I think I can stomach something later, I will. I promise."

"I'll hold you to that." Cas moaned into another bite of burger, almost as pornographically as the first bite. "This is so good." He stood up from the table and grabbed both plates. "I need to go thank Dean again." Cas blushed and exited the Library.

Sam pulled his list in front of him. Based on the previous encounters, the effect of the food would happen within the next twenty-four hours. He just needed Cas to experience it. Then he could bring up the curse with the ex-angel, and hopefully have a co-conspirator into finding a way to break the curse.

As he leaned back in his seat, Sam's stomach growled. He whimpered, realizing that the burger did smell really good, and pushed himself out of his chair, slinking back to his room to grab something healthy and untouched by Dean.

...

While Sam certainly didn't follow Cas into his bedroom when he went to sleep or into the bathroom, Sam kept the ex-angel in his sight the majority of the time. It quickly passed twenty-four hours, and Dean happily kept feeding Cas, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary

He sat down at the table in the Library after pulling out another book on curses, when Cas silently snuck in and sat down across from him again. "Am I doing something wrong, Sam?"

Sam jumped in his seat, banging his knee against the desk. "Jesus, Cas. Now I know why Dean's always saying he's going to get you a damn bell."

"My apologies," Cas smirked, and Sam couldn't help but smile and roll his eyes in return. "I was curious as to why you've been following me so closely. Is there something inadequate in the way Dean is helping me?"

"Uh, well." Sam rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I mean, there are always things I could recommend, but that's not why I was watching you. I was watching because I wanted to see how Dean's food affected you."

"It is quite delicious. I'm curious as to why you don't partake? You make salads and eggs and those green drinks that don't look very appealing." Cas tilted his head. "What's going on, Sam?"

"Well, can I answer your question with an ask?"

"I believe you just did." Sam wasn't sure how or when the former angel developed so much sass and fought to keep his jaw from falling. "Go ahead and ask, Sam."

Sam let out a heavy sigh. "Have you noticed anything... weird, since eating Dean's food?"

"Intoxication. Urination. Defecation. They're all weird human necessities." Cas leaned back in his chair. "All of this is new to me, Sam. I'm going to need you to be specific."

"Fine. Have you noticed any big things happening within twenty-four hours of eating Dean's cooking? Good or Bad things?" Sam leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and his chin on his knuckles. "Or anything that seems weird, even for a human?"

"I have not." Cas shook his head in the negative. "Granted, as I said before, I probably would not have noticed, but nothing seems extraordinary if I gather your meaning correctly."

"Damn." Sam pulled out his notepad and wrote down what Cas had told him. "It's good that you haven't, but the fact that you haven't blows my theory out of proportion."

"Your theory?" Cas crossed his ankle over his knee, attempting to get more comfortable in the chair.

"I think Dean's been cursed for a very long time. I need to see Dad's journal and get some more confirmation before I bring this to Dean, but I also want to tell him how to break the spell before I do." Sam rubbed at his forehead. “You probably wouldn't even notice."

"No, I'm pretty sure I would. How is he cursed?" Cas crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Sam.

"Cas, if my research is right, which, it's always right, Dean's been cursed since before I went to Stanford. Wouldn't you have noticed it when you raised him from Hell?" Sam leveled his own stare in response.

Cas shook his head. "I did a thorough check of his body as I repaired it. There as no curse on him."

"Well, what if I told you that anytime someone eats his cooking, something big happens to them. It can be a good thing or bad thing, and it always happens within twenty-four hours." He turned his notepad with his findings and showed it to Cas. "I've been waiting to tell him, but it doesn't seem like it's ever the right time."

"I don't think there is a right time to tell someone they're cursed, Sam."

"I know, Cas!" Sam dragged his hands down his face. "I just wanted to know how to break the curse when I told him that he was cursed so he wouldn't be upset."

"He'll probably be more upset that he knew you willing hid it and didn't share the fact." Cas pointed at some of the findings on the list. "He made burgers before you killed a potential mate. He fed you not once, but twice before you started the trials..." Cas shook his head.

"I just want to know why and how you're immune." Sam rubbed at his temples. "I'm going for a walk. I'll have my phone if you need me, but Cas. Please. You can't tell Dean." Sam turned on his best puppy dog eyes, hoping they'd finally have an effect on Cas. "I'll tell him, I promise. I just... give me a little longer to see if I can figure this out."

Cas' lips turned in discontent. "Forty-eight hours, Sam. I'll give you two days, but then you have to tell him."

"Thank you." Sam let out a small breath of relief, although he wished Cas would have given him more time. He marked his page and slammed the book shut, taking it with him as he practically ran out of the Library and through the War Room before exiting to the outside of the bunker.

Sam walked along the gravel roadway before coming to the main road. He looked both ways and crossed over the pavement, heading to the open field on the other side. After finding a suitable place to sit, Sam cracked the book back open and continued from where he left off reading.

As he read through the pages, a thought nagged at the back of his mind. Cas.

Cas never noticed Dean's curse. He literally grasped Dean's soul, pulled it out of Hell, and rebuilt his body from scratch. If Cas had seen the curse, he would have left it out of the refurbished body. If it was marred on Dean's soul, Cas would have cleansed it. But Cas never detected it.

Cas was also immune to it. For a brief second, Sam thought it was because of Cas' grace, but Cas was depleted. He was human. Dean's cursed cooking affected humans. So even without his Grace, Cas had no reaction. Sam started scanning the book looking for anything about a person being immune to someone else's curse.

Sam found a section about curse loopholes. As he read through it, something became apparent. Cas was not only immune to Dean's curse but possibly the way to break it.

After another hour of reading, Sam stood up and stretched his legs before heading to the bunker. During his readings, he recalled a conversation about soulmates and how Cupids were meant to make sure they found each other. Granted, that conversation ended up with Dean punching a Cupid in the face. Still, Sam remembered something about two souls coming together perfectly.

Sam entered the bunker and headed to the kitchen, finding Dean and Cas sitting across from each other. They were leaning towards each other, talking in a hushed tone, and everything clicked in place for Sam. He ran out of the kitchen and back to the Library, looking for a specific book, Vivlío tis Afrodítis.

He sat down in a chair close to the shelf where he found the book, flipping through the pages until he found the passage about souls being split asunder to find one another. According to the lore, if one half of a soul is plagued, bringing it together with the other would cleanse it. Sam flipped through a few more pages, frowning when he found how to combine the two halves to make the soul whole again.

Cas and Dean would have to admit their feelings for each other.

Sam dropped the book on the ground and rested his face in his hands. His emotionally-constipated brother was going to kill him. Sam had hidden the fact that Dean, or something Dean adjacent, had been cursed for at least fifteen years. And of course, of course, there was a way to break the said curse. True-fucking-love's kiss.

"Sammy?" Dean stood in the doorway of the Library watching over him. "You okay there? You came in the kitchen then stormed out. Now it looks like you were getting into a fight with a book there."

"Sort of?" Sam frowned, realizing it was now or never. At least Cas wouldn't hold it over his head. "Sit down?"

Dean crossed to a chair across from Sam. "What's up?"

For a brief second, Sam considered starting off his sentence with So get this... Instead, he let out a short sigh instead and frowned. "Dean, you're cursed."

"You're funny," Dean responded after a moment. He shook a finger at Sam, smiling. "You almost had me there."

"I'm not kidding, Dean." Sam pushed himself up out of the chair and walked back to where he had set up his research. He grabbed the notepad and turned around and handed it to Dean, who had followed after.

Dean flipped through Sam's notes. "Shouldn't I know if I'm cursed? Like, shouldn't I feel it?" He tapped a spot on the list. "Wait. Since then?" Dean's eyes grew wide. "Oh shit. I might actually be cursed." Dean shoved the file into Sam's hands and ran out of the Library, nearly knocking over an entering Cas.

"You told him?" Cas walked up to Sam and took the notepad and read over it. "How did he handle it?"

"I think he agrees." Sam looked at Cas, who had raised an eyebrow in question. "What? He said 'Oh shit, I might actually be cursed" and nearly ran you over on the way out."

"I thought he'd be more upset." Cas crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the table.

Sam shrugged. "You never know, Cas. the day is still youngish." Dean strode back into the Library with John's journal in hand. "We'll learn soon enough, I think."

"Okay, so about two months before you got your acceptance letter, Dad sent me on a hunt." Dean flipped through the journal, stopping on a page. "He followed me because he didn't trust me to do it on my own. He cuffed me upside the head when it was all done, ‘cause I supposedly scared the shit out of him. The witch got a hit on me." Dean found a page and turned the journal to face Sam. "Dude, Dad wrote down what he thought she said. 'ut ardeat omnia lordum.'"

"'May all your lords glow brightly?'" Sam questioned. "That doesn't sound much like a curse."

"Which would explain why your father didn't think Dean was cursed and didn't treat it like one," Cas interjected, stroking his chin with the tips of his fingers. "Are there any words that could be replaced in that sentence that sound similar?"

Sam crossed over to the shelves and pulled down a book. "Let's look at some Latin, shall we?" He flipped through a few pages before tracing down with his fingers. Sam continued the process several more times before stopping and tapping on a word. "This is a long shot, but... lardum instead of lordum? It would make the sentence..."

"'May all your bacon burn.'" Dean shook his head. "When I make food, it doesn't burn. I'm too good for that." Sam rolled his eyes, glaring at his older brother, who merely shrugged. "I am! But what if it's not me burning the so-called bacon, but the bacon I make causing bad reactions - causing metaphorical burns?"

"That's a fickle curse." Cas quipped.

Dean nodded. "She was a fickle bitch." He set down John's journal and took the list from Cas. "All of these are - for the most part - burns. Sure, Sammy going to Stanford was good for him, but it sucked for me and Dad."

"It actually sucked for me in the long run, cause I met Jess and lost her. And any of the friends I ever made, other than Jess, were actually demons." Sam pointed out.

"And you needed to kill Madison. Shit, you have the run-in with Croatoan on here too. I had made us food before we rolled into town." Dean pushed the list back at Sam. "My food has been cursed to fucking make our lives miserable." Sam watched as a realization crossed Dean's face, and he pointed at Cas. "I've been feeding you non stop since we've been back here."

Sam looked at Cas, who look was looking at him. After getting a curt nod from Cas, Sam spoke up. "I've been keeping an eye on Cas. He's immune."

"I mean, I'd get that if Cas were still an angel. But Cas is human. Right, Cas?" Dean's face remained wide in concern.

"I am very much human, yes. But Sam clearly must have figured something out, as he's told you that you're cursed."

Sam bit the inside of his cheek. While he was sure he had figured it out, he wasn't sure either of the two men with him would follow through. "I think I did, yeah."

"Well, don't leave us hanging, Sammy!" Dean clapped his hands together. "I'd very much like to know my cooking isn't killing people."

"Cas, can I ask you a question?" Sam looked to his side, hoping Cas could help him out without even realizing it.

"Yes, Sam."

"When you were stripped of your grace, did you get a soul to replace it?" Sam watched Dean from the corner of his eye as he looked at Cas.

"Yes." Cas nodded. "I am fully human."

"What's that got to do with anything?" Dean interrupted.

"Cas," Sam continued. "Can you tell anything about your soul, or was that a grace thing only?"

Cas sadly shook his head. "I could if I still had my grace, but as a human? I cannot. Why?"

"Well, need I remind you guys that soulmates are a thing?" Sam walked over to the chair where he'd been sitting with the Vivlío tis Afrodítis, picking it up off the ground. "Soulmates are forced asunder, destined to find each other. If something happens to one half of the soul, if the other half is clean, it can purify any taint."

"HOLD UP." Dean snatched the book out of Sam's hand and started flipping through it. "You're saying..."

Sam cringed at his brother's reaction, even though he expected it. "You and Cas are soulmates, Dean. I'm certain of it. I mean, I've been suffering your pining and longing for several years now. And now that Cas is human and has a soul? You two are meant to be together. I wouldn't be surprised if the cupids came after you in a good way."

"You what?" Dean shot an incredulous look at Sam, before shyly turning to Cas. Dean mumbled something under his breath and looked at the ground.

"For what it's worth, Dean, I have loved you since the moment I touched your soul and rescued you from the depths of hell." Cas stood up straighter, as though he were trying to force himself to be brave.

Dean's head shot up in surprise. "You what?"

"I love you, Dean. As Sam picked up on, it's no secret. As an angel and as a human, it has always been you, Dean."

Sam looked to Dean, realizing that he was intruding on what could be a very emotional scene. He turned to grab his stuff when Dean spoke up. "You sure as hell don't make it easy, do you, Cas?" Sam cringed slightly, risking a small glance at his brother and best friend. Dean had taken a step forward and held Cas' hands in his own. "Sam'll tell you. We were told that love wasn't allowed in this life. It was beaten in our heads, and it was mostly ‘cause our old man was so cut up over losing Mom." Sam nodded to show his agreement with Dean, who continued. "But you? You came in like a comet, Cas. Sparks flying, thunder crashing, lightning striking. The whole kit and caboodle."

"And what does that mean, Dean?" Cas freed one of his hands and cupped Dean's cheek. Sam wanted so desperately to look away, to escape out of the Library. Still, he was entirely entranced by the scene unfolding in front of him.

"It means that I love you too. I was captivated by you in the barn. I knew there was something between us, but it wasn't until..." Dean scoffed. "Let's just say I had to grow up a little to realize how much you mean to me." Dean leaned in and pressed his lips against Cas', and Sam knew that it was time to leave.

Sam set his book down and quietly exited the Library, deciding to set up in his room for the rest of the night.

…

The next morning, Sam woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs, toast, and coffee. The magical blend of aromas forced Sam out of bed and down to the kitchen. There, he found Cas sitting at the table, wearing one of Dean's Zeppelin shirts and a pair of his plaid pajama pants. Dean was at the stove, in similar apparel.

"Morning, Sammy." Dean looked over his shoulder, smiling, and Sam couldn't help but return the contagious smile his brother had flashed. "Join us?"

Looking back and forth between Cas and Dean, Sam agreed. "Using me as a guinea pig?"

Dean winked at Cas. "Don't you know it, Sammy."

[bbrandy2002]

Happy Birthday @jessiembruno

Wacky Drabble 32:  Papi Had A Rollin Stone

Prompt: I never lied to you.

Liam, Jessica, Leo, and Drake

It’s been a loooooong time since I wrote one of these. I just had to make time for this lovely friend who I first read and met when we were among only a handful who posted the very first wacky drabbles for @emceesynonymroll​ last summer

Jessie gave me ideas for plots and scenarios she wanted me to write for her…mostly revolving around, her Leo, who I freaking adore. It will not be anywhere close to as good or funny as she writes Leo, but I gave it my best effort. The best I could guess when it comes to writing for him is, anything goes. If it popped into my head, I had none of my usual reservations and just typed it out…lol

Jess, you are one of the sweetest and funniest people I’ve met here. I’m so glad to call you a friend. I hope you have an awesome birthday!!!

***This was soooo inspired by a FRIENDS episode and some of the dialogue comes from it, with some creative differences to accommodate Drake and Leo’s part. (The One Where Phoebe Gives Birth).

THE PALACE–CORDONIA

Liam had grown tired of the neverending, annoying pregnancy symptoms. Nine months of mood swings, weird midnight cravings, stealing his shirts because nothing else fit anymore, waking up at all hours of the night because of a bad dream about the baby, and the constant crying at the drop of a hat.

Leo had become too much.

When it came to pregnant Jessica,  Liam would bend over backward to make her comfortable;  he was surprised that he rarely had to.  She possessed that strong Garcia blood in her veins with a tenacity and strength that left him in awe of her. 

Leo, however, had become an even bigger pain in his ass since Jessica announced her pregnancy. From the beginning, Leo had inserted himself into every facet of the pregnancy; from claiming equal importance, referred to the baby as “our baby,“  fought with him over feeling the baby’s first kicks,  and considered Liam – the baby’s father – the third wheel.

Sympathy pains were just one of his latest nuisances to pop up.

Liam walked back to his quarters after a long, arduous day in the office. He was exhausted from a lack of sleep after Leo woke him up last night with indigestion. Liam questioned why Leo would enter his quarters, walked past the kitchen and awakened him for a glass of milk at midnight. Apparently, Leo wanted to also be held and reassured the baby would be okay. Jessica offered to get up with him but Liam insisted she stay in bed and rest and he would take care of his brother. He really wanted to take care of his brother.

Leo cried to him for three hours, wondering if he was still desirable and sexy before he finally fell asleep on the couch. 

Liam wanted the old Leo back … the one who used his credit card to buy everyone at that Greek bar a drink without him knowing, who got him sloppy drunk and married him off to a stranger – that he also had a threesome with that bride on the same night – who had caught Liam masturbating into Jessica’s shoe while he cried his eyes out over her. He would gladly take back that Leo.  This newest Leo was weird as fuck.

Liam pulled out the key card to his quarters, swiped it through the keypad, and had just opened the door when he heard his name being called from behind him. A member of the maintenance staff approached with several white take-out bags stuffed with styrofoam containers. 

“What is all this?” Liam asked curiously of the elder man who he once caught in the laundry room with Regina, holding two large hamsters and a container of Crisco.

“Sir, I have a DoorDash from … let me seeee … Pickled Pink, for Queen Jessica and Prince Leo.” The man shifted the large bags around in his arms then passed the heavy load over to Liam. 

Liam looked over the bags that he struggled to carry in his arms and hoped Jessica’s pelvis was wide enough to birth their inevitable 30-pound baby after eating all this food. His pants started to tighten just thinking about Jessica’s even more curvaceous hips. A lot more cushion meant even tighter pushin. The guard noticed and began to wonder if it was he who was making the king salivate and bulge in his pants.

”Your Majesty,” he stated with a suggestive tone, “I’ve got a couple of minutes to burn if you wanna … you know.”  The maintenance man repeatedly thrust his tongue into the inside of his cheek and wiggled his eyebrows. 

“GOD NO!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!! AND STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY LAUNDRY ROOM!”

While doing a balancing act with Leo and Jessica’s DoorDash, Liam turned and nudged the door open with his shoulder. After entering his quarters, he turned the corner into the living room. 

“Squeeze … hold … release … and squeeze … hold … release …”

Liam’s eyes went wide when he saw Leo and Jessica sitting on the floor, their backs leaned against the front of the couch and their legs stretched out in front of them. Scattered around them were several empty containers of Chinese, boxes of pizzas, what appeared to be Dorito taco bowls, bags of peanut M&M’s dispersed across the floor, and half-empty glasses of strawberry milkshakes. 

With their eyes closed in full concentration mode, they hadn’t noticed Liam was standing there, glaring at them in bewilderment.

Leo’s measured voice continued to call out. “Squeeze … and hold … and release …”

“What the fuck happened in here and what are you two doing?”

Leo’s eyes popped open and he looked to his younger brother, answering matter-of-factly. “Just what it looks like, pendejo - we’re doing our Kegels.”

Liam furrowed his brow. “Leo … you don’t have a … uhh …”

Leo rolled his eyes and huffed exaggeratingly. “Don’t need it; Papi Chulo likes to keep the Big Mushroom thick and robust. Watch what I can do.” Leo leaned over to the end table and picked up a paperweight. He placed it on the crotch of his gym shorts, moved his hands to the side, and started moving it up and down with only his carajo. “I can lift a brick with this power tool … pretty impressive, huh?  Ohhh is that my fried pickles?

Liam grimaced and shook his head – somewhat in disgust of watching his brother power lift his great-grandfather’s paperweight with his dick, and the other part from the increased food consumption.

“You ordered all 10 of these fried pickle containers for yourself?”

“God, Liam, no!  Do you think I’m some kind of animal?  One of them is for Jessica.”

“Yeah, that’s … that’s much better.” Liam replied sardonically before he dropped all of the bags onto Leo’s lap and watched in disgust as he and Jessica began to ravage through them.

Liam slid a pizza box to the side and cleared a path of garbage to walk over to Jessica, who smiled at him with a mouthful of fried pickles. He bent down and placed a kiss on the top of her forehead. “Kegels, huh?” He smirked a twinkle in his bright blue eyes, getting charged over the prospect of her tightness around him. “I’ll try to forget the fact that you’re doing them with …  my brother.”

Jessica chewed and swallowed hard, while Liam’s thumb wiped the ranch dressing from the corner of her mouth. “He’s a good workout partner, Liam. Drake never wants to do Kegels with me anymore.”

Leo laughed out loud with a mouthful of food that flew everywhere. “That’s because Drake is already a pussy!”

Liam crouched down beside Jessica and took hold of both of her greasy hands. “Come on, love, let’s get you off the floor and somewhere more comfortable.”

 As Liam pulled her up from the floor, Jessica felt a gush of fluid stream down her legs, leaving a very visible wet mark down the insides of her yoga pants.

Jessica peeked down and saw the remnants of wetness left behind. She looked back up at Liam. “Shit! I think my water just broke!!”

Without warning or hesitation, a frantic Leo tossed his food aside, jumped up, and shoved Liam out of the way. “Oh, God! It’s HAPPENING!! The baby is coming now?! I haven’t sterilized the apartment yet!  We haven’t checked the durability of your nipples! The mucus plug is still intact! How will the baby come out now?!?! Oh, the fucken humanity!!!” Leo glanced down to the ground where a stunned Liam was hunched over on all fours. “Dammit! Liam now isn’t the time to lay around! Call for a fucken car … our baby is coming!!”

“LEO!!!” Liam shouted while he pushed himself up from the floor and wrapped his arms protectively around Jessica.

Liam instructed Leo to get Drake and have the white Navigator ready out front while he took  Jess upstairs to change and clean up. 

Leo nodded to Liam, called him a jizzslobber, and agreed to do exactly as he was told.  After Leo ran and slid out the door of his quarters, Liam pulled the phone from the inside of his suit pocket and hit the contact for Bastien. “Bastien, I need you to meet Jessica and me in the black Navigator parked in the service garage, ASAP.”

Jessica rubbed her hands over her swollen tummy as she walked with Liam up the stairs and turned to him “I thought you told Leo we were taking the white one?”

Liam grinned wide. “Change of plans, my love.”

SERVICE GARAGE-PALACE

After Liam helped Jessica clean up and change, he grabbed their hospital bag and climbed inside the black SUV where Bastien was waiting. Just as they pull out of the gates, Leo and Drake popped their heads up from the third-row seat.  “AHA!!! I knew it!!”

Startled, Liam twisted around to face him. “Leo! What the fuck are you doing in here? I told you to get the white SUV.”

Leo crossed his arms on the back of Liam’s seat and sneered at him. “I knew you were trying to pull some fast shit. You didn’t look me in the eyes, little brother, and you were squirmy as fuck. Everyone knows that’s the telltale sign of lying.  I’ve never lied to you, except that one time I told you it was Drake that left the KY jelly and anal plug in your office desk. They were mine. Besides, Jessica texted me and told me your plan about the switcheroo. The lies keep piling up, Liam. It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

Liam clenched his jaw and turned to Jessica. “Why would you tell him that, love?”

Jessica shrugged. “He’s my focal point for breathing. I need him.”

Drake ran a hand down his face and spoke up. “How the fuck did I get dragged into this? I swear to God if I see your snatch, Garcia, I’m gonna fucken annihilate your focal point.”

Liam snapped his head toward Drake and gawked. “NO ONE IS SEEING JESSICA’S … PRIVATE AREA!”

Leo flicked his hand dismissively and patted Jessica on the shoulder.  “Don’t listen to him, Jess. Remember …  listen to my voice … find your inner sanctum … your aura perimeter…ooohhhhhmmmm.” He closed his eyes and placed his hands near both sides of his head with his middle fingers touching his thumbs. “Oohhhhmmmmm …”

Drake smacked a hand to his own forehead before he shouted, “Bastien!! Let me out of this fucken SUV! I’m not listening to this fucken shit all the way there. I’ll fucken walk the rest of the way.”

Before Bastien could acknowledge him, Jessica plunged forward and clutched her stomach. “Owwwww! I think I’m having a contraction!!!” 

This only made Leo go louder. “OOOHHHHHHMMMMMMM.”

Liam reached for Jessica’s hand and squeezed it tighter. “It’s okay, love. I’m here. Listen to MY voice.”

It was a continuous cycle of,  “Ooohhhmmm”s” and “Owwww’’s” and “Let me the fuck outs” and “It’s okay, my love’s” all the way to the hospital.

CORDONIA MEMORIAL HOSPITAL

The SUV pulled into the private entrance of the hospital where paparazzi were already waiting.

Liam stepped out, cursing to himself over the assumed leak to the press, and helped Jessica slide out his side of the vehicle.

Bastien and Drake immediately began shuffling the crowds to the side and yelling at them to get back.

Leo followed closely behind Jessica and Liam and reached into his pants pocket. “Hey, Liam!” he yelled.  

Liam turned to face him. “What?”

Leo threw a pink glitter bomb that landed squarely in the middle of Liam’s chest, which created a sparkly poof of epic proportions around him.

Liam started coughing ferociously and rubbed his itchy eyes. “Leo! You motherfucker! Why in the blue hell did you just do that?” He continued to cough and wipe the shit ton of pink glitter that was plastered on his shirt and spread into his golden hair.

Jessica covered her face while she snickered uncontrollably. “You really got him good, Leo.”

Leo swiped the air around him to avoid the tiny particles of glitter floating through the breeze. “Look, man, it was getting entirely too serious back there. Jessica and my gummy bear need a stress free aura perimeter. See how happy she looks now?”

Jessica picked a piece of the glitter off her tongue and wiped it on Liam’s shirt: “I do feel happier now that my aura perimeter has become more sparkly. Thanks, Leo!”

Leo stood taller and winked at his brother. “Told ya!”

Liam shook his head and let out a heavy, sigh. “Let’s just get in here … and both of you leave your damn aura perimeters outside!”

MATERNITY WING –EXAM ROOM

Inside the exam room, Jessica was dressed in a hospital gown and laid on the bed hooked up to the monitors. Liam was at one side stroking her hair, and of course, Leo was on the other side drawing faces with boobs on balloons he made of out of latex gloves and assigned each one hooker names from Cordonian nobles. Musty Madeleine, Hootered Hana, and Deepthroat Savannah. The last one was, Choke-A-Bitch Bertrand – their spoon lovin pimp.

Jessica felt another sharp pain spread across her stomach and bore down harder onto Liam’s hand. “ FUCK!!!! THIS HURTS!!!”

Liam’s face fell into her busting cleavage and yelped, “ Love, my hand..my hand…my hand!”

Leo was getting frustrated by the wait and swept aside his lineup of rubber hookers and the one peculiar-looking pimp. “Wheres the fucken doctor at? Gummy bear could be coming out right now and no one is here to catch her. I guess I’ll have to save our baby!! Leo shuffled to the end of the bed and started to lift the sheet that draped over Jessica’s leg before Liam yelled for him to stop.

“Fucken Liam! You’re supposed to be ohming and not yelling at me!” 

“Fuck your ohhhmm bullshit, Leo! It’s stupid anyway.”

Leo shifted his posture and took a more defensive stance. “Take it back Liam…I mean it.”

“Go ohm yourself, Leo.”

 Jessica gripped the sides of her bed and yelled out, “IM STILL IN PAIN!!! AHHHHH!”

Leo suddenly felt a ripping pain and grasped his lower stomach before he fell to his knees. “AHHHHHHH! What the hell is that?”

Liam massaged soothing circles over Jessica’s arm, deliberately ignoring the fact that Leo had just crumpled to the floor. “Sweetheart, I love you so much, just breathe through the pain.”

Leo cried out, “I’m trying,  but it’s not helping…ahhhhhh!!”

Liam had become frustrated with Leo long before this day began but now felt he was taking these sympathy pains to the extreme. 

Drake knocked on the door and slowly inched his way in while covering his eyes with his hand. “ Everything okay, you guys? Thought I heard a fucken hyena in here.”

Leo tried to stand, but the pain ripped through him even more, causing him to lurch back to the ground. “ Ahhh! It’s this pain in my lower stomach. I knew I shouldn’t have fucked that cashier in a White Castle bathroom without a rubber!!!”

Liam could tell by his brother’s writhing in the fetal position on the floor that he really was in a lot of pain. On the flip side, this would be the perfect opportunity to get Leo the hell out of here. He cleared his throat, “Drake, would you mind taking Leo to get checked out? I’m really concerned about him.”

Drake lowered the hand that covered his eyes and his gaze immediately fell on Leo. “You gotta be fucken kidding me? There’s nothing wrong with this douchebag that a few days worth of strong antibiotics and ointments wouldn’t clear up.”

“NO! I have to be here for the birth of our baby! If she sees Liam’s ass chin before I can prepare her, the results could be disastrous!”

Liam scrunched up his face and placed a finger over his chin. He didn’t have an ass chin and had no idea what the hell Leo was talking about. With a desperate look in his eyes, he turned to his oldest friend. “Please, Drake.”

Drake pinched his nose for a moment then dropped his hand to his side to reluctantly approach Leo and help him up. “Fuck it! Come on.” He placed one of Leo’s arms around his neck then Drake wrapped his arm around the sides of his waist and led him to the door; Leo shouted Spanish, and what sounded like a cricket in his ear the entire way. As they made their way past Liam, Leo stopped long enough to give his brother some last-minute advice before he parted. “She’s not wearing a bra or panties right now, hombre. I packed an extra shoe in her bag in case your kinky ass needs to choke your monkey. Kapeesh?”

CORDONIA MEMORIAL HOSPITAL-EMERGENCY ROOM

Leo was lying partially on his side, holding his stomach,  while Drake stood next to the head of his hospital bed. A doctor studied an x-ray that hung to a viewer on the far wall, then flipped the light off of it, removed the film and turned to face Leo and Drake.

Leo glared at the doctor, “What is it, doctor? You can tell me. I can take it…is it The Clap? Its the Clap isn’t it? Oh God! I got The Clap, Drake!! Why does all the bad shit happen to me?”

“Don’t talk to me, Leo,” Drake groaned. 

The doctor inched closer to the men, “Mr. Rhys…its not..the clap…I’m afraid you have kidney stones.”

“What? Kidney stones? Is that like slang for Gonorrhea?”

“No, sir. Its slang for kidney stones.”

Leo returned a half-hearted smile. “Doctor…Wh…what else could it be?”

 “Kidney stones.”

“Orrrr?”

“Kidney stones.”

 “But if it was something else…”

Drake had finally had enough of the back-and-forth exchange and yelled out, “Its fucken kidney stones Leo! You’ve got rocks in your pee-pee man!”

Leo’s eyes widened and his gaze went from Drake and back to the doctor.” Is that true? How do I get them out doc? I can’t be smashing some chics ass with rocks weighing down my Papi cock, I got a rep to maintain.”

The doctor regarded him thoughtfully. “Ordinarily, we try to break the stones up with shock waves, but yours are too close to the bladder. This means we can either wait for you to pass them … or … we can go up the urethra.

Drake began to chuckle before he clapped Leo on the shoulder. “You are sooo fucked dude.”

Leo shrugged Drake’s hand off of him and shook his head. “FUCK THAT! NOTHING IS GOING UP ANYTHING. UP IS NOT AN OPTION…WAIT…WHATS A URETHRA?

“It’s the hole you piss out of, man.”

Leo’s head snapped back to the doctor. “ ARE YOU FUCKEN CRAZY?!”

30 minutes later

Leo was screaming on the bed while he jerked Drake around in a headlock. “Ohh! Get these things out of me!”

“Breathe! Breathe through the fucken pain, Leo!” Drake instructed while Leo continued to bounce his head around.

“I want the drugs, Drake! I want the drugs!” he cried out while rocking back and forth, taking Drake with him.

“I do too! I do too!”

5 more minutes later

Leo was laying back on his pillow, recovering from one of the most painful experiences of his life as he sought to catch his breath. “Oh my God.”

Drake squeezed Leo’s arm with a look of pride in his eyes. “You did it, man. That was fucken incredible, Leo!”

The doctor approached the two with a small, clear contain that held the two kidney stones Leo had just passed. He shook it in front of him, “Would you like to see them?”

Leo nodded and reached out to take it from him. He held them in front of his face and Drake leaned in closer to get a better look. Leo smiled at them. “They’re so small, Drake.” 

A knock on the door pulled the two men from their attention on the tiny, ragged stones Leo held affectionately in his hand. They looked up to see Liam entering the room.

“Hey! I heard what happened. Are you okay, Leo?:

“Yeah. My dick hurts like a motherfucker, but in the end –” he held up the container, “–I have these two little cuties to show for it.”

Perma tags: @emceesynonmroll @romanticatheart-posts @burnsoslow @dcbbw @ao719  @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @hopefulmoonobject @texaskitten30 @drakesensworld @janezillow @merridithsmiscellany-blog @mskaneko @loveellamae @queenjilian @sirbeepsalot @pedudley @caroldxnvxrs @jovialyouthmusic @forthebrokenheartedthings-blog

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day. Me and James got to spend a good amount of time together but I also ended up in a weird waiting mode. But it was not a bad day at all.

James's alarm went off at 6 and of course they were on the bathroom so I was trying to find the phone lost in the bed and it was a whole moment. But we found it and I went back to sleep.

I had asked to be woken up at 830. But then I was like. No. And didn't wake up until after 9.

I felt pretty good when I got up though. I went to get dressed and James made the bed. I felt cozy and good honestly. My head was itchy and I would wash my hair tonight. But I was in a good mood.

James made me half a bagel. And we chilled for a little while. But soon we were going out on our little drive.

We went to Towson to go look at the Valentine's day stuff. But it was mostly. Gnomes?? I do not like gnomes. I think they are ugly and I don't understand why they are like the mascot for every holiday now. We even saw kwanza gnomes?? It was very bizarre. I did see a few things I liked but nothing I loved.

I msitly just had fun walking around with James and looking at stuff.

We did TJ Maxx, then Burlington (whose lighting was weird and hurt my eyes) and then bed bath and beyond. Which didn't have valentines stuff but did have Easter?? Super weird. I did have fun looking though.

We walked to the other side of the shopping center to go to Marshalls. And they mostly had gnomes. Lots of leftover Christmas stuff. I found a lotion that made me think of a frog eye pillow my mom had when I was a kid. And maybe James got me a Valentine's present that I have chosen to put out of my mind until then.

We moved the car and went to the Red Robin for lunch. It was pretty empty when we got there. And our food was very good. I had half of my burger because my stomach started hitting again. I hate how often that has been happening lately. But I tried my best to be okay. So I wrapped up my sandwich to bring home. I would have the other half for dinner.

I brought the fortune telling cards James got me for Christmas and we read the rules and did our fortune. The man and woman cards represent you when you hand out the deck and weirdly they showed up right next to each other. Spooky!!

The restaurant had a line out the door by the time we were leaving. That's happened a lot lately too. Coming to place at the right time I guess.

We went to the craft store next so I could try to get a dowel rod for an idea I had. They only had short ones in a bag. So I got it and a piece of wood to make a base for a ring stand I had an idea about. It wouldn't work that way I had pictured but it was fun to try.

James was getting worn out. And so we went home. I talked to Charlie for a bit about hanging out but the day got away from him. Maybe tomorrow. But because I wasn't sure what was happening I got stuck in waiting mode.

I tried to fight it. I cut the dowel rods and screwed everything together. But it did not work the way I pictured. So back to the drawing board with that one. At least it was fun.

And I poked around the apartment. James got ready to bike in the living room. And I lit a candle. We realized that the candle was one of those surprise ring ones. And it was red wax and we made a huge mess trying to get it out. I even thought the ring had a red stone but it turned out it was blue??? Just covered in wax and stained. It's a nice little ring though so that was a fun surprise.

I spent a lot of time in bed. Watching tiktoks. Just resting. I had some cereal. I had astronaut ice cream. I'm gonna be so sad when that's all gone cause I love it. I told Charlie we could just go get dinner tomorrow. I hope he follows through because he's leaving this weekend and I'm sad about that!! I mean I think it will actually make us closer. Like it did for me and Jess. But only time will tell.

James went for a walk. And while they were gone I just chilled.

When they got home they had dinner. And I took a shower. Washed my hair really good. And hung out with James in the kitchen while my hair dried a little and they made got chocolate.

Drying my hair continued to be annoying but I'm getting way better at it. Faster. My arms still hurt but I seem to have a better system where I can keep my arms low.

And nowe and James are in bed. They are asleep holding the Squirtle I got them. And I am a little to awake. Sweetp is being so stinking cute. I might have a little snack to try to sleep easier. But we will see.

I work at the museum tomorrow. Just for tours but who knows if anyone will want them. I have sewing stuff I can work on. I just hope it's a nice day.

Take care of each other out there. Be safe. Be kind. Goodnight!!

[retvenkos]

“our friendship is the only thing i have left.”

tuck everlasting month 2020, day 25

BEING A FRIEND OF WINNIE FOSTERS? THAT HAS TO GO A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS...

the two of you met fairly young - when winnie’s father was still alive, and when they actually left their house every once in a while

you became fast friends

two lonely kids meeting up can bond pretty quickly - you’d be surprised.

you bonded fairly easily - you were both the same age and you both had similar experiences

and you both had the seeds of wanting more sown in the very fibre of your being

the two of you hung out with each other almost every day

and then winnie’s father died

and suddenly, things were very, very different

you would go to her fence every once in a while and look in, trying to see if there was anyone inside.

you never saw her, but winnie would see you from her window and would wish she could be there with you

when winnie met the tucks and came back, she was changed

you were there, the first day she came back, worried about your once-upon-a-time friend 

she promised you that day that she wouldn’t let herself be trapped anymore

“i have a life to live, (y/n). you can live yours right alongside me.”

“promise?”

“promise.”

the two of you would go on walks with one another

sometimes you would venture into the wood, but you never got far

winnie said it reminded her of her father, and you knew better than to pry

but you would look in her eyes and see something different... something wistful, something kept secret...

okay,,, but i just got the best idea,,, in some way, shape or form, you are related to hugo

that way we can tie in both of the stories - winnie gets to know hugo because the two of you are close and she ends up hanging out with him by sheer exposure

and hugo is awkward where winnie is confident and carefree

and you are the perfect amount of silly and joking to tie the three of you together

honestly, what an iconic trio you are

all of treegap knows that the three of you are inseparable

and they all know that it’s only a matter of time before winnie and hugo get together

you honestly see it way before they do

so, true to your nature, you tease your brother about it and joke with winnie about her marrying into your family

and when winnie and hugo get married???

you get to give the toast and it’s just perfect???

you all know each other so well that it makes the moment all the more sweet

i just really want winnie to have a lifelong friend, you know?

and when winnie and hugo have kids???

you are the proudest aunt

you just love those kids with every bit of your heart and you are always watching them

and one day, when you are in town and winnie and hugo aren’t there, you meet a young man named jesse

and he seems kind enough

and the two of you talk for awhile about treegap

and the more you talk, the more you realize that he knows you - or, at least, knows of you

you ask him about it and he gets embarrassed, saying he’s an old friend of winnie fosters

and you find that hard to believe - you don’t think winnie has talked about this boy a day in her life, but then, the more you talk to him, the more you realize that the way he talks sort of echoes some of winnie - the part of her that changed while you were separated

and it’s a mystery that you aren’t quite sure how to unravel (or if you want to unravel it), but you have just enough of a curious streak to give in

so you talk to him more

you try to figure out how he knew winnie - how old they were, how long they were together

but jesse is strangely good at covering his tracks

and he mostly wants to reminisce about who winnie was and how she’s grown

and he talks as though growing is apart from him - something he only gets to watch and enjoy from a distance

and you talk to winnie about it and she seems just as oddly sad but happy as he was

“i met a boy in town, a little younger than us, by the looks of it. he calls himself jesse - says he used to know you.”

“jesse... yeah, i remember him.”

you go full detective mode on this mystery, but nothing seems to ever add up

the only thing that tips you off that there’s more to the story than you’re being led to believe is that, later that year, winnie and hugo are blessed with a third child - a little boy whom winnie names jesse

and you give her a look, but she pretends not to see it

and maybe, a long time after, when you no longer believe in the mysteries of the world because you’re too old to give them any mind, winnie tells you a story about what happened to her all those years ago

when she was 11 and wanted more of the world, and then saw her fill

“that’s a lovely story, winnie.”

and you don’t quite believe her, but you let her smile anyway

“it really was.”

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

[hopevalley]

Finally!!

Today’s the big day! At 9/8C the new season will start airing. I hope all of you who are able to watch will do so! I’ll be excited to see your opinions.

I don’t expect too much from the first episode this season; it’d be silly to hope for something mindblowing. On the plus side, I imagine it will be a better/more cohesive bit of entertainment than the holiday films usually are. I’m kind of curious to see how they approach just jumping into a new season vs. having a film length “episode” to break the ice between seasons.

I took a pretty big step back this year and didn’t stay on top of all of the promos or sneak-peek scenes. I know the basics, but that’s it. I hope allowing some things to be a surprise will work for the better for me.

As to hopes and dreams for the season, well, more of the usual you’ve probably come to expect of me, I guess. Here’s a little list just for giggles.

I’m still holding out for AJ to make an appearance this season, though at this point I’d be happy if she even got a mention. Is this really silly of me? Probably. But Frank was mentioned last season, so it stands to reason that they are aiming for more cohesive storytelling. Even if all that was said was that they’d had a letter from her, it would be enough to tie up the storyline in a way that feels less bad than, you know, she just went to prison for the rest of her life and nobody cares about it.

I think we’re going to get a “washed up old man” character arc for Bill. Based on the short scene of him putting on a red serge jacket, though, it may be much more nuanced than that; after all, even when Bill was working for the mounties last, he was a forensic investigator wearing plainclothes. Maybe this is more about aging and missing youthful capabilities? Either way, Bill is one of my favorite characters, and those sorts of plotlines would suit him. I have some faith that this sort of narrative will be approached with respect not only to the character, but also to the audience members who might relate to the situation.

No matter how the triangle resolves, I hope it feels satisfying to everyone involved. I think my biggest concern is actually with regards to insensitivity in the narrative. For example, Elizabeth chooses Lucas and in two episodes Nathan’s on a date with someone else.

I think it could be argued that Lucas might be the type to try courting someone else as a means to forget about Elizabeth, but he and Nathan have been invested in her for a couple of literal years at this point... I hope the writers don’t forget that heartache like that won’t leave easily.

Also, regarding the triangle... Most of you know I haven’t been a big fan of it. I still feel the same: splitting the fanbase was a huge mistake. 

Their attempts at saving face (all those interview comments about how deeply they thought about the choice and everything) were... I don’t know. They had to say something about it, and I’d hope they’d actually consider the character and what would continue to make interesting storyline bits down the road, but...they probably shouldn’t have admitted to the “what will make a good story” bit, even though it’s true and as a writer I know exactly where they’re coming from.

To clarify, they are probably considering Elizabeth as a character and her most likely choice, and coming up with plot ideas for down the road well in advance to make sure they can continue the story seamlessly with that choice in mind. Like, “we made sure that with the choice we made, we could still continue the story for many seasons to come. The thing is, this is the default mode: the audience already believes in this. Calling attention to it just makes people question whether or not the writers bothered to think about who the character of Elizabeth would choose.

Nathan is my pick for Elizabeth, but I don’t love Elizabeth enough as a character to stop watching if she chooses Lucas.

Nathan seems like the better/easier choice because “interesting future plots” with Lucas will have to rely on being mostly internal issues (he failed to tell her some big information about himself that is important now, discussion about having more children, how to be a parent/if he has a right to discipline Jack/etc), whereas Nathan plots can be internal when the storyline fits the characters, but due to the nature of his career it’s very easy to make plots stem from an external source without it seeming goofy or forced.

One last point about the triangle: so far they’ve done a really good job of making Lucas and Nathan appeal to pretty much opposite types of people. Lucas is the type of guy you root for if you like bold men who are not only confident, but secure in understanding their own emotions as well as declaring them. If you’re taking him at face value, you know exactly where you stand with him without ever really having to ask. Nathan is the kind of guy you root for if you like the more shy/sensitive men who are capable of emotion but do so awkwardly. It can be hard to tell where you stand with him until you learn to read him, or better yet...learn how to put him at ease. 

I hope this trend continues but does what it was intended to do all along. I feel like both men got the short end of the stick at various points in the story just due to how the narrative portrayed things.

I’ll be honest, I used to really like Jesse and Clara, but I think their story isn’t interesting anymore, and I’m worried that they’ll try to force some marital discord just to give them more screentime, when it might actually be better to let them fade to the background, or add them to scenes with other characters who are around a lot. I’m not sure what would get me invested in these two again, but there has to be something the writers could do...

Like many others I’m hoping Rosemary and Lee decide to either live the childfree lifestyle or adopt an older child who needs a home if they’re set on being parents.

I hope more of the side characters get good quality scenes this season. I feel like they will, but I’ll say it anyway. We have some really great actors on board, and it’s a waste of talent not to use that talent.

By this I mean: I don’t want to see Molly, Hickam, Florence, and Ned used only as funny bit characters. The last season or two were particularly bad for that.

I feel like I’m forgetting a few things, but this is long and I’ve got other things to do. :) Hope to see y’all around later today!

[whistlewhileiblogit]

Fixing TLOU Part 2 (Part 1/??)

At least...what I think. Idk. Maybe this is a shit idea, but it’s better than what we got lol. (this is a first draft so I may change things after posting) Also, this is gonna be pretty long. So I’ll split it into several parts. Anyway, here we go...

First off- Joel isn’t killed. I would keep the first two hours somewhat about the same. Because it wasn’t until Joel’s death did the game take a massive nosedive to me. Instead, this is what would happen:

- Have a scene early on showing a character who doesn’t get along with Joel at all. (Doesn’t matter who, some townsperson who doesn’t agree with the way he does things, or they have personal beef. Literally anything.) Let’s call this person P. This scene could involve P trying to do something stupid, and being reprimanded by Joel, or having an argument with him before Joel and Tommy go on their route.

- Joel and Tommy are actually the ones in trouble, not Abby. Abby saves them, which would make them feel thankful (still skeptical though), but they don’t have time to argue because of all the infected surrounding them. Joel and Tommy know they can’t ride back to town yet bc they’ll lead all the infected there, so they decide to take a detour, where Abby tells them her and her crew are staying. They have no choice BUT to go in, but keep their weapons on them, and stay wary of Abby’s gang. 

- NEITHER of them give away where they live OR their names. They probably make up false names or just refuse to say them. (where they live is irrelevant bc Abby ALREADY knows this information). They play it smart. Joel is mostly quiet while Tommy does the talking. They have to spend a few hours with the WLF’s, while they wait it out. They get to know them a bit and actually are relatively friendly with them after a while (similar to how Joel and Henry got along after realising the other wasn’t a threat).

- After the infected move on, Joel and Tommy head back to town, ensuring they aren’t followed (again reiterating that the WLF’s wouldn’t bother following them bc they already know where they live). Joel and Tommy tell Maria about them, and they decide while they don’t seem like a threat, they probably should double patrols for a while, just in case.

-  A few weeks pass, and there are no more signs of the WLF’s, so the patrols get cut back again to their normal routines. Cut to Abby, who has been biding her time, trying to be smart about it. By now, they have noticed a certain pair of people who go on a set route often. They ambush them. One of the pair is P from earlier. The other I haven’t yet decided. They begin to probe them for information about Joel, and P is quick to tell them anything under duress (and also because his loyalties don’t lie with Joel). Abby kills P and the other person after realising that Joel was under her nose that whole time, in a fit of anger. She seems remorseful about it, but focuses on finding Joel.

- The WLF’s have a sneak attack at night on the town, using molotovs and whatever else they have to burn it to the ground. They kill lots of innocent people in the process, with the exception of Abby whose only focus is Joel. In the midst of the fight, Abby finds Joel and an intense fight ensues. Ellie, meanwhile is fighting other members of the WLF alongside Dina and Jesse. I should note Ellie’s story so far has basically been the same except where she has to go find Joel obvi.

- Ellie sees Joel fighting Abby as she is running/gunning her way through town, and intercepts an attack, getting herself hurt and then pinned down by other WLF’s. Joel goes papa bear mode on Abby, his fighting style becoming even more ferocious, but Abby is eventually able to overpower him.

(now admittedly I hate the idea of Joel being tortured, but for this to somewhat follow the story of PT 2 this next bit is kinda necessary)

- Abby proceeds to beat Joel up (fists only) and it is brutal. I personally would have some cut away shots for Ellie’s reaction, but also so the player gets the impression of how bad the violent acts are without having to watch a gore fest.

- Joel is left laying unconscious, and seemingly dead. Ellie mourns him and begs Abby to stop just as she did in the actual game. Abby takes a last look at Joel, believing she’s killed him. She tells the Owen to “deal with (Ellie)”. Ellie is released from the WLF’s grips and is sobbing over Joel, who she thinks is dead. The other WLF’s walk away, and Owen is left standing there, looking torn. He looks back to make sure Abby isn’t there to see, and he shoots several bullets in the air. Ellie looks up at him, shocked but still mourning. He leaves and tells Abby he finished it.

- Tommy finds Ellie and Joel amongst all the chaos, and he tells Ellie they need to get Joel’s body and get out of there as the fire is spreading. There’s a shot showing the entire town up in flames, then a cut to black.

TBC

[hookedontaronfics]

First Contact series - Part 12

Title: First Contact - Part 12 Read the previous installments here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 Rating: M Pairing: Taron x OC Warnings: Some slight smut A/N: Finally, the chapter you have all been (hopefully) waiting for! This part of the story finds Jess and Taron finally getting their relationship back on track. There are mostly just some incredibly sweet and heartfelt moments in this chapter, and I hope you cheer right along with me as Jess tries to break through her fears. Enjoy! x

The morning broke bright and sunny, and with it a thousand promises. I’d woken up excited for today, excited to reconnect with Taron, and to hopefully give back to him somehow for all his faith in me. I wanted to know I had earned that faith, and while I knew he had promised he’d wait for me, I didn’t want to keep him waiting forever. Because for truly the first time since Kevin’s attack, I felt happy. I felt like some kind of heavy burden had lifted. I felt hopeful. Every hard truth I’d talked about in therapy, every wound I’d reopened and examined, every painful memory I’d tried to root out and mend, had culminated in this day. I wanted to move forward with my life, and the way to do that was right in front of me.

I sat up in bed, stretching out slightly, and feeling literally like a new person. I couldn’t tell you if something chemically in my brain had shifted, or if I just had unlocked a new state of mind, but the reason behind it didn’t matter. Everything felt new again; the way the sunlight filtered through the blind slats and warmed me, the whisper of the fabric of my pajamas over my skin, even the familiar scent of lavender from the satchel I kept under my pillow. Nothing had changed, but everything had.

Okay, so maybe that sounds like a completely Disney-fied version of reality, but I just felt different and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I was looking forward to being awake, not dreading it, and that made a massive difference in how I appreciated all the small things too. I wasn’t in sensory overload any longer, though I was certain I could easily slip back into that mode. I wanted to enjoy this small break of clarity for as long as I could make it last.

Before I fully got out of bed, I decided to call Taron, as it wasn’t exactly early. Saturdays were most certainly for sleeping in. He answered just before the call would have gone to voicemail, his voice still thick with sleep. “Mmmmmello?”

“Oh, did I wake you?” I asked, unable to keep the giggle out of my voice.

“Just a wee bit,” Taron yawned slightly, rustling about in his bed. “But it’s bloody late in the morning already so I guess it’s about time I got up.”

“You’re adorable when you’re sleepy,” I smirked.

“That so?” he replied, and I could hear the grin in his voice. “Would be better if you were next to me, you know.”

“Would it now?” you smiled at that.

“I do mean it, why can’t I have you here with me again?” he asked in a pouty voice.

“You know why, T. I’m working on things here,” I replied softly.

“I know, I know. I just miss you dearly. The bed feels far too big now without you in it,” he said, and I could hear the bedsheets rustling some more, and then a slight involuntary grunt as he stood up. I imagined him running his fingers through his inevitably messy hair, his nightshirt a bit rumpled, and I sort of wished I could run my fingers over it, smoothing out the wrinkles.

“Anyway, I called to talk about our plans,” I said quickly, wondering at the thought I’d just had. I hadn’t had much of an urge to touch Taron since Kevin had interrupted everything. But now I wanted nothing more than to feel that warm, firm chest under my fingers. I longed to hear his heart beating, just for me.

“I’m all ears,” he said, yawning again and making something else open up in my chest as I imagined him leaning over the bathroom sink, peering at himself in the mirror. I felt my heart trip a little at the thought, fully aware of how much I hadn’t appreciated that enough during the month I had crashed at his place. Then again, I had been actually crashing in my depression and anxiety and unable to appreciate those things. I had a lot of time to make up for.

“I just need you to pick me up at 6 sharp. I’d say I’d pick you up, but then we’d be riding the tube and seeing as it’s getting colder out now, your car is probably the better option,” I grinned.

“Yep, got it. 6 p.m. sharp. What are we doing?” he asked.

“I can’t tell you that, it’s part of the surprise!” I laughed lightly. “But just wear jeans and a nice jumper and a coat or something. We don’t have to be super dressed up for this.”

“Coat. Jeans. Jumper. Got it,” he replied. “Do I have to wait until 6 to see you?” he asked again, the longing so evident it squeezed at my heart.

“I- …” I trailed off, not really sure what to say. That hadn’t been part of my original plan either, but in many ways it felt difficult for me to wait to see him too.

“Just ignore me, I’m being ridiculous. I will be patient, and I will see you this evening love, and we will have an amazing time together,” he answered for me, probably mistaking my hesitation but I didn’t correct him.

“I could never ignore you, Taron,” I said, running my fingers over my lips in a sudden memory of his kisses. “Yes, 6, until then enjoy your day,” I replied distractedly.

“Of course. It will be so much better after 6 though, so the first part might be quite forgettable,” he smirked into the phone at me.

“Oh shush,” I had to laugh. “Just go do whatever it is a Taron does on Saturday,” I teased.

“Mostly cleaning my place, it’s a hideous wreck,” he chuckled.

“I doubt that,” you laughed with him.

“Alright, I best get to it. See you later, my love.”

“I am looking forward to it,” I said, blushing despite myself. We managed to say our good-byes and hung up, and I laid back on my bed for a long moment and sighed happily. I pulled the ring out from under my nightshirt and examined it in the sunlight, letting the diamond sparkle. Tonight was going to be special, I could feel it.

I finally managed to get up and, in a fit of inspiration from Taron himself, decided to spend my morning cleaning our flat. I felt like my depression had kept me from contributing anything to my roommates and I wanted to make up for it, so I started with the bathroom, scrubbing it down until it shined, and then going to do the same with the kitchen.

That’s where Mary found me, sprawled out on my hands and knees, head under the sink, containers of bleach and dish soap and sponges scattered around me.

“What in the world are you doing?” she asked, scaring me so that I jerked and whacked my head on the underside of the metal sink.

“Owww, fuck!” I said, backing out and resting on my heels, pressing a hand to my smarting forehead. “I’ve been cleaning!” I laughed lightly. It would be just my luck to give myself a shiner right before my date.

“Oh, well, it looks really nice,” Mary smirked at me. “I can see my reflection in the toaster now.”

“We all didn’t know what we were missing,” I giggled lightly, finishing what I was doing and stacking everything back in the under-sink cabinet. “Now we can make sure our makeup is on point while we eat our toast. Much more efficient this way,” I continued to joke, making Mary giggle even more.

“You’re ridiculous, Jess,” she grinned.

“Here, give me that,” I said, checking my forehead in the toaster reflection and rubbing the red spot that was already starting to darken. “Well I’ll be wearing my bangs down today,” I said, blowing the hair out of my face for emphasis.

“What’s tonight?” Mary asked as she poured herself a bowl of cereal. I handed her the milk absent-mindedly, already lost in thought.

“You know, I’m taking Taron out later,” I smiled. “He’s been so patient with me while I went and lost my marbles. I just feel like I should try and make an effort to give back, you know?”

“Lost your marbles?” Mary asked, sounding confused, and I forgot that sometimes phrases that were natural to me in American English were confusing as hell to her.

“You know, lost your marbles… Went a little crazy. I mean, I use that cheekily because I wasn’t crazy but I certainly wasn’t easy to deal with either. I crashed and crashed hard after Kevin and I moped around Taron’s place for a month and had very little motivation to do anything or basically exist. He’s really been a saint,” I tried to explain, as Mary gave me a sympathetic look.

“But you went through something really awful. You should be kinder to yourself. I think you’ve been incredibly strong, and I’m sure Taron would think the same thing,” she said sweetly.

“It’s just difficult to reconcile how hard I fell though. I thought I’d made better progress after three years of dealing with the fallout from the first time Kevin attacked me. So I feel a bit ashamed for falling apart so much to be honest,” I admitted.

“But the only person judging you is yourself,” Mary pointed out, words I’m sure I’d said to her before. I was good at giving advice; not so much at actually following it myself.

We chatted a bit longer before Mary decided to join me in my cleaning frenzy, and we ended up tackling the living room together, Tim protesting at us when we shoed him off the couch so we could vacuum it free of his hair. He promptly jumped back up after we were finished and glowered at us while we swept and dusted and organized everything, getting rid of old newspapers that had stacked up and even washing down the windows. They say cleanliness is next to godliness for a reason; the whole place somehow felt lighter and better for our efforts.

While Jules was still at work, Mary and I decided to run to the grocery, and I found I was truly enjoying her company as we laughed and sent Jules stupid Snapchats with jokes about various food products. It was probably juvenile, but we were in fits by the time we finally checked out. Emotionally, this was probably one of the best days I’d had in a long time. I couldn’t believe how happy I felt, and it gave me hope that there were better days coming. I could feel the darkness still waiting for me below the surface; I knew there was still work to do to keep from sliding back into it. But for now, I felt like I had gained a little freedom and I didn’t want to let that feeling go.

Once we got home, we put the groceries away and I ended up straightening up my room a bit before trying to read a little while I waited for the clock to tick closer to 6. Eventually I deemed it was time enough to start getting ready for the evening. I chose a pretty yellow silk blouse and layered that under a black pinafore with thick black tights and black boots. It was comfortable and effortless and that’s how I wanted to feel tonight. I also made sure to dig my winter jacket out of the closet, and stuffed my gloves in the pockets too. I’d probably need them later, for what I had planned.

I quickly did my makeup, able to take the redness out of my new bump but not the bruising, so after also hiding my scar, I made sure to pull my bangs down over my forehead. I was a mess, but Taron wouldn’t care; he’d only tell me I was the loveliest woman he’d ever seen. I could very nearly hear him say that in my mind, and I couldn’t help but smile. He never saw the superficial things, the flaws I tended to obsess over. He’d really seen me at my worst, no makeup, unshowered, exhausted and unkempt and depressed as hell, and he still wanted to be with me so that said a lot for his character.

I paced my room slightly before my phone chimed with a text. I grabbed it and saw that Taron had texted that he was on his way. I felt a small thrill of excitement run through me, nearly like it was our first date again, and in some ways I supposed it could be counted as that; the first actual date since Kevin had altered my path, again. 

When Jules finally made it home from work, she screeched at me in a decibel probably only dogs could hear about why I hadn’t told her and Mary. I tried to explain I’d only decided on this date the day before, but I’m not really sure she heard me.

By the time Taron arrived I felt like I’d worked myself up into a tizzy. Even though it was custom for Taron to come to the front door I decided to preempt that and meet him halfway so he wouldn’t have to deal with all the screeching from my flatmates. “Alright, I’ll see you ladies later,” I laughed, swinging the door open only wide enough for me to squeeze through. “Byyyee,” I laughed as Jules tried to wrestle the door away from me.

“You know Mary and I won’t mind if you don’t come home tonight, alright?” Jules said, only half-teasing me, I think.

I rolled my eyes in appreciation and then hopped down off the stoop, making Taron chuckle as I nearly ran down the walkway to him. “What’s the hurry?” he smirked, waving at Mary and Jules, who had their faces pressed to the window I’d just cleaned earlier.

“Those two, that’s the hurry. Come on,” I laughed, tugging his hand as I walked toward the car. Taron just seemed amused as he opened the car door for me, always the gentleman, but he stopped me for a second before I could sit down.

“You look absolutely stunning tonight, Jess,” he said sweetly. “And I like this,” he added, touching the ends of my wavy hair, which was now just barely sweeping over my shoulders. “When did you get it cut?” he asked curiously.

“Um, Tuesday? I think? It all sort of blurs together, but I completely forgot to tell you,” I laughed, realizing that we really hadn’t seen each other in person for a week. I suddenly felt compelled to hug him, and so I did, wrapping my arms around his middle tightly and pressing my face against his chest, breathing him in as he hugged me back. We held onto each other for probably a moment longer than was necessary, but the need was there, obvious and permeable as it hung in the space between us. He tilted my chin up to gaze in my eyes before his eyes drifted up.

“What on earth did you do here?” he asked, tapping his finger lightly on my forehead.

“Oh, that,” I cringed lightly. “I fought the sink and it won,” I said, and Taron laughed before shaking his head.

“That’s my Jess,” he said affectionately as I carefully placed the duffle bag I’d been carrying in the backseat. Taron raised an eyebrow at that in question but didn’t ask and I finally managed to duck into the car, my stomach growling. He handed me his phone after also getting in the car and I punched the address into Google Maps for the restaurant I had chosen, and soon enough we were on our way, enjoying the views of the city in the evening light. He dutifully followed the directions from Google but once we were close seemed to recognize exactly where I was taking him, and we were able to find parking quickly because he knew where to go. We walked hand in hand down the few blocks to Oxo Tower and I couldn’t feel giddier at the moment.

“Excellent choice. I’m quite fond of this place but I don’t get here enough,” he said as we took the elevator up to the eighth floor. Taron held me to him while we were in the elevator, lightly kissing my forehead and making my heart yearn for something more, but there would be time enough for that. We knew each other and yet we were just getting to know each other again in my new normal.

I gave my name at the front, thankful I had made reservations at the Brasserie as the place was rather crowded, and we were led to a table right by the large floor to ceiling windows with the very best view of London over the Thames. We got seated in the mod blue chairs and Taron stared out at the view for a long moment, looking thoughtful and handsome as ever in the black jeans and grey jumper he’d worn over a red collared shirt. He looked deeply vulnerable for a moment as he looked back over at me, and we were suspended in that moment, exchanging thoughts without a single word until our server came up, introducing herself and taking our drink orders.

“Isn’t it lovely?” I said, also staring out at the calm waters, the sun starting to sink toward the horizon and painting the clouds every color imaginable.

“Not as lovely as the view right across from me,” Taron replied, reaching over and taking my hand in his and I think noticing for the first time that I was wearing the ring on a necklace, not tucked under my clothes as before but on full display. He sucked in his breath for a moment, seeming a bit overwhelmed, and I tore my gaze away from the sunset to catch his full reaction. His eyes were twinkling a bit as the smile grew over his whole face, crinkling the corners of his eyes in the way I so loved. “You’re wearing it,” he commented softly, running his thumb over the back of my hand gently.

“I have been for a little bit,” I nodded with a smile. “I heard you, you know, when you said it was a promise. I’ve held onto that, and I think it’s helped keep me going. None of this was about running away from you, I hope you know that.”

“I didn’t understand it that day, I don’t think. I was a bit hurt and miserly but I also knew I wasn’t willing to lose you over being butthurt,” he smiled. “I’d take any kind of pain you could send my way if it just meant I got to be with you.”

“But I don’t want to hurt you, T,” I said, resting my chin in my hand and biting at my lip nervously.

“You don’t hurt me. What you went through hurts me. What I had to witness you going through, that hurts. Because I feel for you, I hurt for you, do you see? I can’t just be over here only feeling my own feelings. There are a lot of things I feel for you too. Things I wish I could inspire in you also - joy, happiness, love,” he said, his eyes actually misting up a bit.

He had to quickly recover as the waitress dropped our drinks off and we put our orders in. I asked for the pan-fried sea bass with cauliflower puree, potato gnocchi and cavolo nero, while Taron ordered the pancetta-wrapped pork filet with a lentil and treviso salad. Everything sounded so good and I wanted to order it all, but I figured we would try bites of each other’s meals, at any rate, and probably split a dessert too. The lights on the buildings were beginning to twinkle on, one after another in the darkening horizon, and the last bit of sunlight really gave us a show, oranges and reds dancing with blues and purples in the sky.

“Hey, I have an idea!” I said, getting up from the table suddenly and pulling him with me. He laughed in surprise but followed as I pulled him out onto the balcony with me. There were a couple brave souls at the tables outside but they didn’t seem to give us a second glance as we posed with the sunset backdrop, trying to take a decent selfie but Taron kept making funny faces and the harder I laughed, the worse the pictures kept turning out.

“Taaaron, I want a nice photo before it gets dark!” I giggled into my hand.

“But I love this laugh,” he grinned, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me in close, my hips nearly against his as he gazed at me for a minute, his expression full of adoration. He leaned in and kissed me and the rest of the world seemed to stop. Everything else just faded away, and it was just Taron and me, the feel of those soft lips against mine, claiming me, wanting me, loving me.

“Now, a proper picture,” he said after breaking away and turning me back into the crook of his arm, his head resting against mine as he held his phone out and snapped a couple of photos. I’m not even sure what my face was doing in that moment, but it didn’t matter. I was with him, and everything felt right as the day faded into darkness. By now the chill in the air had crept in under my coat and I was starting to shiver, so we ran back inside, our cheeks a bit reddened from the nip in the air too, but feeling a lot of things other than cold.

In the subtle lighting of the restaurant, the shadows danced across Taron’s face a bit, deepening his expressions as we talked about whatever came to mind, enjoying each other’s company immensely. The food was as amazing as it had sounded on the menus, and we were all too happy to dig in.

When we were quite done with our meals, stomachs full to bursting, Taron looked over at me, about to say something but the thought died before it left his lips. But I’d gotten to know him well enough to know when he had meant to say something and chose better of it. “What’s on your mind, T?” I asked him, and he shook his head.

“Nothing,” he hedged slightly, and I sighed.

“You can talk to me. Be honest with me, please,” I pleaded softly.

“I was just thinking about what I’d said earlier, before the waitress came to take our orders, that’s all,” he said after a moment.

“I heard what you said, Taron, it was very sweet,” I replied with a smile.

“Yeah, you heard me here,” he said, indicating his ears. “But did you hear me here?” he asked, tapping my chest lightly.

“I… yes, of course,” I said, watching him watch me in that introspective way he had that always made me feel like he saw more in me than I did.

“You have to let me in, Jess. There’s only so much I can do from the outside,” he said quietly. “I will always be here, no matter how much or how little of yourself you’re actually willing to give me. But I want it all, desperately.”

I had trouble sorting all of this out in my head as Taron realized I wasn’t going to respond and he resorted to paying the tab to fill the silence. But it wasn’t that I hadn’t heard him; I’d heard him loud and clear and I was at a complete loss for what to say. His words had struck me deeply because I knew he was genuine in that feeling, and I had to grapple with my fear and figure out a way to push past it if I were truly going to let him behind the walls.

“I think we should go somewhere else,” I said, a bit breathlessly, my heartbeat pounding in my ears even though I knew he couldn’t understand why I was suddenly nervous.

“Alright, anything for you, love,” he said, helping me back into my coat. We departed the restaurant and packed ourselves back into the car, and I once again plugged the address into Taron’s Google Maps. We drove in silence for a small space of time, his music our only accompaniment. This was the part of the plan I was most excited about, and as Taron drove us further away from the lights of the city he went “ahh” in recognition.

“You remember what happened here, don’t you?” I asked at that, and he nodded but didn’t say anything at first as we took the winding road past thickets of trees that signaled the preserve was near. We eventually got parked and I pulled the lanterns out of my duffle bag, handing one to Taron and hefting the bag over my shoulder. I slipped my gloves on and then entwined my gloved fingers in his as we walked along the worn path, our breaths puffing out into the chilly air.

“I remember the last time we were here I was a complete and utter dick. What kind of man leaves his lady in the middle of the woods to fend for herself?” he sighed, his voice loud and clear in the still night air. There was no bonfire today, not a single soul in sight as we made our way to the hidden pickup truck in the clearing in the woods, a place where we’d first really connected, and the place I had caused us both so much pain. We clambered back up into the bed of the truck after Taron had uncovered it again, settling into the cushions and covering ourselves with the blankets I’d brought with me, snuggling up to each other and staring at the stars twinkling far overhead.

“You didn’t understand what you were up against. I don’t hold that against you, at all,” I said softly, feeling his warmth radiating out as I hugged onto his body and he enveloped me with his arms. The lanterns gave us just enough light to see each other by, and he had such a soft, warm expression on his face at the moment it made my heart beat even faster, if that were possible. “I’ve tried to explain it, tried to help you understand. The things I think in my head aren’t always rational, the fears I have feel insurmountable. But it’s not about you, at all. And I need your help to grow beyond these things. Your patience, your faith in me, your love. I have been happier and I have been healing ever since I somehow tripped into your life, and I needed to speak honestly about that. It’s been a long journey, and I can’t imagine there won’t be more difficult days ahead, more times where I seem to take steps backwards and not forward. But Taron, please, don’t ever doubt how much I love you back. No matter how afraid of that I can be, the joy waiting on the other side is worth it to keep fighting. And I will fight, for us. Through everything Kevin has put me through,” I rambled slightly, my voice growing passionate at times, teary at others, trembling with the rush of my words.

I felt his arms tighten around me as I talked, watched the way his expressions changed as he reacted to what I said. “I’ll fight for you too, every damn day you let me,” he said, brushing my bangs back slightly. “I know I can’t protect you from everything, I couldn’t protect you from this. But you’re mine, and if I can help it nothing else will ever hurt you again,” he said a bit fiercely, his eyes burning with a bit of passion that I felt reach into my soul.

“I told you I needed to make a promise, and so this is it; I promise to be as kind and true to you as you’ve been with me. So,” I said, sitting up enough to unclasp the chain from around my neck, and sliding the ring off of it, tucking the chain in my pocket and taking his hand sweetly. “I think it’s time for you to put this on my finger,” I smiled softly at him, and the sheer unbridled happiness reflected back at me was worth every bit of this moment.

“Yes ma’am,” he grinned, gingerly picking the ring up and taking my left hand in his and sliding it carefully on my finger before lifting my hand to his lips and placing a sweet kiss there. “You know I’ll do this proper, of course, but you have no idea how happy this makes me,” he smiled sweetly.

“I know how perfect this moment feels,” I smiled back, wishing we could stay in that moment forever, but I already couldn’t feel my fingers or toes, and Taron wasn’t even wearing gloves, the tip of his nose already reddened from the bite of the air.

“It is perfect. I feel a bit on fire,” he said, his voice going a bit gravelly as he pulled me to him and kissed me deeply, passionately. Oh to be kissed by Taron, it was unlike anything else. He was never pushy even when he made his desires known, but there was always so much emotion behind it too. I knew without a doubt that he was never going to leave me alone in how I felt. He was always so giving of himself, and I was falling ever so much more in love with him as we kissed under the stars, wrapped up in each other until we couldn’t stand the cold anymore.

I laughed as I struggled to wrestle the blankets back in the duffle, and on half-numb legs we managed to totter our way back to the car, our teeth chattering but our laughter light and our hearts even lighter. We blasted both the heat and the Elton, singing at the top of our lungs, and I couldn’t have felt more like I belonged anywhere but by Taron’s side. He kept looking over at me as he drove, so much love in his expression I could barely stand it. This was what it was like to let him in, I thought. It wasn’t so scary after all. I knew I could trust him; I also knew that this would take a lot more work on my part to keep the gates open. Tonight was easy; tomorrow might be a struggle. But we were both ready to face that together, and making this commitment to stay together, to be each other’s one and only, bonded us far deeper.

He pulled up in front of my darkened flat and put the car in park, brushing his hand over my thigh slightly and sighing. “Really wish I didn’t have to leave you here tonight,” he said softly.

I looked up at my flat and then back at Taron, realizing that I truly didn’t want to leave him either. “You don’t,” I said quickly. “Take me home, Taron.” He gazed at me for one long instant before quickly putting the car back in gear and taking the streets he knew oh so well, driving us back to his home. We made it just inside the door before he had pushed me up against the wall, kissing me with an intense need I could only try and match. We had only been intimate once after the attack and I’d sunk into my depression; I hadn’t been able to give this to him and though we’d never spoken about it he had always respected my need for space.

But the heat and tension and desire between us now was undeniable, a force greater than my fears. I needed and wanted to give in to him as we shed our jackets in the hallway, dropping our clothes along the way to his bedroom. We fell into bed in a strange assortment of half-dressed; I was in my bra and tights while Taron was still in his jumper and boxers and one sock still on. We couldn’t care less though as we deepened our kisses, lust taking over any sort of logic as he climbed over me.

“Is this okay?” he breathed into my face, checking in with me even as his fingers dragged along the skin of my waist, leaving a trail of fire wherever he touched.

“Yes, please, I want you now,” I gasped slightly, feeling how hard he was for me already. He made quick work of our remaining clothes, his hands traveling over the curves of my body, seeking out the places that made me moan for him, still learning his way around me as I gave in to him in every way. He remembered to grab a condom and slid it on before joining our bodies, making both of us groan for each other. The sensation was heady, certainly, and I could only crave more of this intimacy. Because this was more than just having sex, or being used, or even worse, abused. Taron gave so much of himself over to me, trusted himself to me, and I knew we were only just standing at the beginning of something really beautiful together.

Neither of us needed long to find our highs together, and when he finally collapsed on top of me, his weight both familiar and comforting, I felt sure that our souls had collided too. I felt completely calm, the constant storm inside of my head subsided, at least momentarily. I ran my fingers through his messy hair, watching him as he tried to keep his eyes open, having worn himself out. It made me smile to know what we had, what I was capable of opening my heart up to. Taron made me feel strong and fierce and worthy, things I had never fully known about myself.

“I’m so grateful for you, T,” I spoke into the comfortable silence that surrounded us.

“You are my world, Jess,” he said sweetly, running his finger lightly over the band that now encircled my finger. “I won’t let you forget it,” he smiled sleepily at that. Getting to see this side of him always felt like the best part; the way he looked at me just before he fell asleep that told me we’d be together even in his dreams. And maybe we were really living inside those dreams, I thought to myself as his eyes drifted closed again and stayed that way, his body relaxing into sleep beside me.

“Oh you beautiful, beautiful man,” I said to the quiet bedroom, hardly believing I was even here right now. I closed my eyes and pulled the blankets up around us both, getting comfortable while snuggling into his body, happy for this one perfect moment at least. Laying there next to him, knowing his heart belonged to me, truly felt like being home.

While her relationship with Taron feels certain, can Jess keep the storms at bay? Or will their happiness run out? Find out in Part 13 - Coming soon!

[deniigi]

do you happen to have any random hcs/facts/info about the electric sheep verse? (i'm in love with it)

hi anon!!

Sorry it’s taken me an age and a half to get around to this question, I’ve been in dissertation-mode for the last two weeks or so.

BUT

I love love love my electric sheep series and I would love to maybe do a quick little spin off piece or two with it at some point.

I don’t really have too many headcanons/facts atm, but I do have this fun idea at the top of my head right now (I’m putting it under the cut since it’s long and silly)

So electric sheep ends with Matt becoming a vigilante for droids. At some point, Jess realizes that she can make something of him for her PI work and tries to borrow him off Foggy and Fogs is like, yeah, fucking take him he’s droid-teething and keeps chewing on all the Expo markers in the office. Jess does.

They get into all kinds of trouble. Jess starts dragging Matt with her further and further out of Hell’s Kitchen and he starts making other friends along the way.

He befriends Clint who doesn’t realize he’s a droid at first. He’s just like, ‘woah, Jones, handsome, flexible boy you’re got there, mind if I borrow him for a minute for some satellite-dish-related issues?’

To which Jess thinks, ‘I need to see this android confronted with his dumbass dish-cousin; this is gonna be like him crooning at Nelson’s laptop all over again’ and says, ‘yeah, take him.’

After this, Clint learns that Matt’s a bot then just assumes that Matt is kind of like a household AI. Like a really fancy roomba. So any time he sees him, he’s like ‘heeeeeey, Red. You got a minute? I got a pilot light out.”

And Matt doesn’t know what to make of this friendly human and the hair ball that stalks him, so he just kinda goes, “help? I am good at helping. What is a pilot light? Does it fly?” and he goes and Clint eventually realizes that he’s teaching this droid more about home repair than the droid is actually repairing his home and it finally dawns on him that maybe this is not Matt’s primary purpose.

But, not to fear! Clint is familiar with someone like this!

He introduces Matt to Bucky, who is partial droid with his arm and the like. Buck, though, is confused by Matt because, well. “he’s one of them war-bots, man.” And Clint is like ‘oh. Fuck.’ Only to realize that he’s lost Jess at some point and he doesn’t actually know who Matt belongs to.

Matt tells him he belongs to himself and both Clint and Buck get freaked out because they think he’s like a sentient AI built specifically for fighting purposes and they decide they need to remove him from his owner, actually, since this guy is a warmonger-er.

So they laugh nervously and watch Matt bounce off back to Hell’s Kitchen and then they go panic-run to Steve who is, at least in the eyes of the law, Buck’s owner in the case that he goes berserk or something. And Steve is like,‘oh fuck. no. I’ve heard of that cat, he’s the rogue bot that’s been out at night fighting humans left, right and center.’

So he agrees to go intercept Matt and take him to Buck’s mechanic to get him sorted out and reprogrammed to be less of a violent hellhound (they still don’t know that that isn’t his programming, that’s just him being him.) Anyways, they go and track him down to find him lawyer-ing away with Fogs and trying to sneakily chew on shit in the office and they’re like,

‘what.’

But they try to intercept anyways, and then that turns into them accusing Fogs of being an underground war-bot trafficker and he throws them out and Matt waves while he does while Karen tries to tell him that this is “no. This is bad. Those are not friends, Matthew.”

This really only makes Steve, Buck, and Clint more concerned than ever, so they decide they’re gonna steal Matt.

They do not have to steal Matt. They catch him in the middle of a fight, right after a perp lands a hit that sends his processor flying and voila, just like that, they’ve got dopey, sweet, droid!Matt who knows mostly that his human is Foggy and, in the absence of his human, he really likes Clint (the pilot-man) and his harmonica.

The others note the personality change and the missing processor several blocks over and go, ‘wait no, that seems problematic.’ They ask droid!Matt about it and he hums without it and takes an age and a half to answer any of their questions, at which point it becomes very clear that that thing on his face was very important and–oh, fuck. He’s one of those human-made-droids and they just lost the key to giving him his humanity and oh, god, they’d harassed Nelson for no reason–they’re about to get their asses sued to hell and back over violating android rights.

Rather than face Nelson who will murder them in cold blood, no doubt, they decide to hold onto Matt to keep him safe until they find his processor. Then they’ll give him back and apologize for the misunderstanding.

Steve goes back to find it. Buck and Clint, not knowing what to do with this very friendly bot in the meantime, decide to take him to Buck’s mechanic to see if they can do anything for him until they find his processor.

Peter’s the mechanic. Teeny baby 12yo Peter working with Uncle Ben in their bot-shop.

Peter falls in love with Matt instantly; Ben recognizes his hardware as Advancement’s tech, though, and immediately knows the shit he’s been through. He knows that Matt is programmed to be a fighter bot and he wants him to get the fuck away from Peter–but it’s too late. They love each other.

Matt gets territorial over Peter and won’t let anyone touch him. Steve comes back with the processor and they wrangle Peter away from Matt and then the processor back onto him. And just like that, now they’ve got a pissed off, disabled, former-warrior-bot-turned-lawyer on their hands, threatening them with legal action.

He huffs. He puffs. He leaves, embarrassed. He finds Foggy and clings. And the others are all so baffled at what’s just happened and Matt’s frankly incredible abilities that they decide that they want to get him to work with the Avengers Initiative.

And then a whole new cycle of ‘fuck you, don’t you even look at me or my human ever again’ starts up between Matt and Steve and Buck, whereas towards Clint Matt’s always like ‘why have you betrayed me like this pilot man? I thought you were kind and good?’

Clint feels bad and tries to make amends and in doing so finds himself becoming a Trusted Human for half the former-fighter bots in the city. They all call him the Pilot Man. Peter starts calling him the Pilot Man and sneaks into the circle to do rogue repairs and programming for these former war-criminals.

And end scene.

Anyways, this was a whole lot of nonsense anon, but I hope it did something for you!