#empathy gap

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

People say women are a minority; but in fact, it is men who are the smaller group.

More interestingly, men are not born as a minority – as for every 100 female births there are actually 105 male births.

But this male surplus doesn’t stay for long, as over the course of a life time, the number of men is slowly eroded away until the sex ratio shifts.

Yup, in adulthood there are only 97 American men for every 100 women.

So what happened?

Why do men experience higher mortality rates in every age group, and have an overall death rate 1.4 times higher than women?

Why has a problem, so large it literally alters the tectonics of a nation’s population, been so readily ignored?

Why are men’s higher mortality rates so often waved of with, “well that’s just the way it is!”

Perhaps… men are not the ubiquitously privileged gender you’ll hear described, but the disposable one?

I mean isn’t early death a bit more deserving of advocacy and investigation than women having too few pockets, or Babie’s super cool day out?

Are the solutions to men’s issues more serious and complex than social media coddling, and meagre calls for “talk” and male tears?

What about men’s early death?

How do we save our men and boys?

~

US Death Rate: https://www.statista.com/statistics/241572/death-rate-by-age-and-sex-in-the-us/

Population reference bureau: https://www.prb.org/resources/u-s-population-is-growing-older/

NIH Funding: https://orwh.od.nih.gov/sites/orwh/files/docs/ORWH_BiennialReport2019_20_508.pdf

The New Scientist: https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn2586-men-die-young-even-if-old/

==

Holy shit. Men actually die from a birth majority into a living minority.

How is this not a huge thing, and why is everyone supposed to be so comfortable with it?

How are we supposed to take seriously the claim of society "privileging" men, when there's no greater privilege than being alive? With "empathy"/"anyone giving a shit" not far behind?

[fandomshatepeopleofcolor]

Internet keep making memes and disgusting theories about Jamie Foxx appearance while he is dealing with serious health issues, they need to leave him alone! I remember when they made fun of Selena Gomez's appearance when she was dealing with a severe flare of lupus. And, the saddest case, how the internet treated Chadwick Boseman and only stopped when he died. +

+ As someone who battles daily with two incurable degenerative diseases, I wish from the bottom of my heart that Jamie and his family will recover after this difficult moment. Those people who don't respect his health situation need to go to hell.

__________

You're so right nonny!!! I really wish people would be more respectful. Like I know that Jamie Foxx is a very talented actor but I feel like there was more respect given to Bruce Willis and his aphasia you know? I don't know maybe its my perception of it but I really think that white people get more sympathy when sick than people of color. The term for this is the empathy gap and its talked about in this video in a piece of media that everyone knows about.

anyways I really think this happens alot not just fictional media but also news media.

Sending you prayers and good wishes Nonny! I hope you have a good support system. *hugs*

mod ali

[betterbemeta]

Everyone can connect in ways that transcend boundaries, can empathize or at least jointly participate more than they think.

There are people out there who do not share your fundamental baseline for 'reality.'

Aside from being dreadful to each other, these two facts also kind of create each other. Every time you ask yourself, 'how could other people think what is happening in the world is okay?' you need to understand that somebody who has a completely different idea of what the world is like, or should be like, is thinking the same thing about you.

I'm not saying that all of these perceptions are equal. A bisexual trans teen looking at political bills that remove their human rights, is not equivalent to an US-Evangelical preacher who thinks that same teen is violating the fabric of his reality. A poor person who is just trying to survive and reads about genocide on the other side of the world on their prepaid phone is not equivalent to a lobbyist who thinks of both the poor person and 'war' in abstracts.

But when we talk about 'reactionary politics', we're not just talking about reactionary response to political decisions, but also what is reactionary to 'the reality' the decisions create. A lot of thought pieces or commentary fall flat on this concept with terms like 'economic anxiety,' or summarizing mass reactionary movements with seemingly little cohesion as 'populism' without explaining anything at all. Gawking at seemingly silly conspiracy theories or culture-war items doesn't really do anything unless it illuminates what these represent for the participants 'sense of reality.'

In Abigail Thorn's video essay, A Man Plagiarised My Work: Women, Money, and the Nation, she goes to investigate conservative thought to understand reactionary rejection of feminism and what 'role' reactionary structures expect women to play for 'the nation.' She went to Roger Scruton, author of How to Be a Conservative, for her answers and part of those answers included a description of how conservative roles for women are the backbone of reality for that point of view. That if those roles (implicitly: 'to be providers of free labor') were to change, according to him the floor falls out from underneath all laws and any baseline confidence people have. To me, the excerpts sound like Scruton is terrified of being unplugged from The Matrix.

One of the quotes Abigail pulled even described how Scruton sees 'history' as somehow changeable:

(screenshot credit to Abigail Thorn's video)

What Scruton is talking about here is not actually that history can literally be altered, like we're Marty McFly. He's talking about the perception of reality. Which CAN VARY between people or change over time: including our ability to look back on the past and contextualize it. And Scruton absolutely DOES NOT WANT to enter a reality where the facts of the past are interpreted by brains different from his own, outnumbering his own.

Even if he believes the justification for his desired reality is fundamental, he doesn't believe that reality itself is fundamental. Reality can change and vary, and therefore people MUST be brought back into his own to maintain its stability. He believes those people can connect with him, MUST connect with him, empathise with him, accept his reality. Or else they will never comply with it.

It can be hard to swallow. But not only is someone else out there thinking the game of the world is checkers and that it's a violation of them that you're spending time with mancala... on some level they already accept that actually THEY COULD play mancala too, experience connection with you... and be 'a loser' compared to you, by 'your game', 'your rules.'

"This person doesn't live in the same reality, does not comprehend 'the' order of things," is a required component to "this person is just a little less human"; it's easy to dehumanize each other. And because of the above, it's easy to fear the violence of being dehumanized, if that reality isn't broad enough to support enough people. But even then, a society and reality built on tolerance will experience the paradox of tolerance. So at least one fear reactionaries have is realistic. If their reality doesn't become dominant, they'll experience some form and degree of violence. Probably not as much violence, if they are opposing those who believe in human rights, but they won't know that. They know themselves.

You must accept that:

Full human beings out there will not see things the way you do, may not have the same underlying assumptions you have, really and truly,

AND said thinking, "this person does not comprehend the minimum requirements for civilization," has been part of every oppression in history EVEN IF we reel every day from how public figures can demonize disenfranchised refugees, or how nations could tolerate genocide,

AND that because we have empathy for other full human beings we typically believe that others COULD be brought into our own realities,

AND the way that some people want to do that, and the reality they desire, will create horrific conditions for many people that aren't a matter of perception.

[questioningespecialy]

y'all ever wondered why Joe had a tradwife? who was easy to get along with? and made him feel special? and was hella lovin'?

[the-eccentric-eclectic]

Petition to stop counting billionaires or rich people as 'people'.

The foundation of human-ness, the cornerstone of humanity is empathy. You don't acquire and keep huge amounts of resources without exploiting or harming people, animals or nature in some way. If you are good at capitalism you are horrible at empathy.

No empathy? Not a person.

[thedalatribune]

© Paolo Dala

Empathy Gap

Never in the course of human history have we had so much access to one another. Modern technology means that, at the tap of a screen, we can reach people in every corner of the globe.

And yet, it often feels like we’re not reaching for their perspectives - or at least, we’re not listening. There’s a widening empathy gap between us and those who have life experiences that differ dramatically from our own…

…document how your experiences and visual perspectives might differ from those who inhabit this digital space alongside you. The idea is to make images that show what these concepts look like in your life and community. Tell us how your understanding of one of those themes might be different from your neighbor’s or someone who lives 3,000 miles away. Would they recognize it? What makes your relationship to each prompt unique?

Daniella Zalcman Empathy Gap

[vox-anglosphere]

Bless the young man who hiked 3 hours to plant a new sycamore tree

[fromtheseventhhell]

Saying this an Elia Martell fan from what little we know of her, but I'm really sick of how fandom sees her as nothing but a perpetual victim and/or hater of Lyanna and Rhaegar. Where's fandom content of her being kind to baby Tyrion or headcanons of her plotting with Rhaegar against Aerys? Makes me wish GRRM would write more Fire and Blood books to flesh her out more outside of the "pretty victim" fanon Sansa stans want her to be.

It's actually so frustrating cause there are great conversations + theorizing that could be going on surrounding her character because we know we're going to be learning more about her in the future, but a lot of her "fans" are just stuck on using her as a prop. And honestly? That's because the more we learn about her, the more she moves away from being fandom's favorite passive self-insert character. If George has her doing anything it breaks their idea of her being the perfect victim which is what they love about her. They don't even like her character organically, they just like that it gives them a justification to hate Rhaegar and/or Lyanna. I'm personally neutral-positive about Elia, but I am very interested in learning more about her character. George has kept that portion of the story intentionally vague for a reason and I can't wait to see why.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

I've been embracing my empathy gaps instead of trying to hide them and it's honestly so nice.

For instance, a big empathy gap for me is around the death of elderly people when it's natural/old age. My friend's grandma died and I'm just there like "Oh." I let my friend know I can't really understand since it is just a part of life, but I'm sorry for their loss. My friend rants a bit to me and I just sit there feeling kind of awkward, but trying my best.

My mom always made me feel so awful for being that way around death that isn't animals or isn't some "dying young or through tragedy thing." To me, death from old age is just something that happens, whatever it may be that actually took them. And especially with older people I don't know, it's like I cannot empathize there at all. They lived a good life, my friend got to talk with her grandma a bit ago.

I was the same way when my grandparents died when I was younger and I always felt so awful for not reacting the "right way" and being confused why my mother was sad over her parents dying.

But I'm allowing myself to experience these instead of shaming myself for them and honestly, having my friend support me is so nice. I just explained why I didn't really care or couldn't find a way to empathize and they understood. All they needed was to talk through their thoughts a bit and me listening.

It's really nice to be able to express this and open up and let myself be the way I am without being shamed or seen as some monster as I've experienced most of my life. I'm hyperempathetic most of the time, but I have gaps cause of autism and trauma as well. And it's genuinely so nice to be able to just let myself be who I am. I love my empathy, but it's also very exhausting emotionally so also allowing myself to not be as empathetic with things is refreshing because then I'm not as anxious or desperate to please or feeling things as intensely outside of my own emotional bubble. In fact my hyperempathy only added to the traumatic event that happened at 16/17 because of how I was. So that's another reason why I have empathy gaps.

Either way, empathy doesn't mean shit in the end. It can help in relationships and understanding, but can also be bad if there's too much of it. Nothing wrong with low/no empathy, nothing wrong with fluctuating empathy. It doesn't dictate shit and there's lots of people who have had it used against em (like me :p) so wherever you fall with empathy, what matters most are your actions, not some arbitrary thing that some people experience and some people don't. Humans are multifaceted and complex, we are different and we all have different strengths and weaknesses, different traits, especially with how trauma and disorders and neurodivergency can affect that.

[homosexuhauls]

gendercrits with no experience of trans/nonbinary identity, detransition/desistance etc, while perfectly able to make observations on misogyny, homophobia and racism in TQ+ circles...just inherently don't seem to "get" how differing trans and nonbinary communities view gender, and make a lot of damaging assumptions and judgement errors along the way

there's no way to stop this, everyone has their own opinions after all. but it's frustrating to see, as someone who has gone from being a "trans women are women" no-debate neoqueer to being a radfem. and no doubt it's much much worse for detransitioners, bearing the brunt of most of these presumptions

equally though, it's infuriating - as a former member of the queerios club - to see self-identified queers pulling the whole "that never happens" trick. don't bullshit me, kid, i was there, i witnessed it, i experienced it lol. guess the gays can just never win 🤷‍♀️

[randum-famdoms]

This is a longshot, would you be willing to help me get my insulin? I'm down to my last pen and its pretty much close to being empty.Nt asking for much only need $370 rn to save my bloodsugar. please help me with a small donation or share any help can save my life.Please help & Blessings ❤

Okay so. I am 99% sure this is a scam, which is why I’m answering this, so the few people who will see this are aware and don’t fall for something similar.

But if it isn’t then girl I’m sorry but I’m 18 and that’s in my blog’s bio, which you would have seen when making this ask. I checked your blog, you’re a mom of two children according to your bio. If that’s real, which I doubt, but may I just ask why the heck a mother of two children is asking an 18 your old stranger for almost 400 dollars????

I’m all for getting help to combat the shitty American healthcare system (I know this could hypothetically be for a different country but I’m American and this is what is on my brain). But asking a stranger who is not even really an adult yet despite legally being one is crossing a line imo.

And yes this is almost definitely a scam but to be honest I’m just offended by how dumb it is. Seriously, at least scope out your targets a bit. I’m in college, man. I don’t have 370 dollars just on drop for a stranger, who has two probably fake children, and probably a fucking job. Even if I didn’t give you everything, it’s still pretty fucking weird to ask someone so much younger than you, barely legal, for money if they are a stranger. Asking your *followers* for money is less weird, even if there are minors, because they *know you* and it’s not *only* minors (or close to it, like me).

Get some damn common sense my guy. Good luck in your future scamming endeavors, though! Just try and be smart about it in the future, one day you might even raise enough money for some insulin!

Anyway I’m aware I’m ranting to a bot but yeah be safe and aware of this scam

Update from months later: when I first made this post, the ask wasn’t anon and did in fact come from a real blog. Not sure why that’s changed now, but in case anyone is confused by me referencing the scam blog’s bio now you know.

[tinycrowned]

sorry forgot the disclaimer: this is speculation. and i may not remember everything said and done in the game since i finished it a bit ago and i dont have power due to wrecked snowstorm so i cant go back and play it rn. this is speculation and thoughts!!

i may or may not elaborate on this later but i feel like an important aspect of sindri and atreus’ relationship and atreus’ obliviousness on how bad of a friend he was is because one: he’d never had a friend even his own age before sindri and brok,

two; sindri is a full grown adult, and there’s different levels of power there that sindri should have used to advocate for himself when he felt used or unappreciated. and although he isn’t atreus parent, he’s looked at as family, and every paternal/older familial figure has an opportunity to teach the children how to act properly and when they do something wrong, especially when kratos wasnt around when sindri was helping him search for Tyr. and three:

kratos does not set the best example on how to treat people, even though he is trying to “be better” as he says so often in the game.

faye was never around other people with atreus to properly show her son how to treat and act around other living people, but its still obvious that he gets his surplus of empathy for others FROM faye. but the second he’s around kids his own age, he acts VERY different than he does around sindri. its because he doesnt look at them as, how he says to angrboda, “uncles”. his view of them as family and his view OF family is very different to how he views peer friendships, because he doesnt expect anything from them.

sindri and brok have a similar role to kratos in atreus eyes: providers. they help protect him and his father with their skills and he views that as a thankless job because it’s just nature, like his father protecting him. father never expected thanks for keeping him safe because it’s his role similar to how mimir is another father in atreus’ eyes because of how he teaches him and cares about him, AGAIN, without expecting anything in return. and atreus treats sindri and brok the same way because he views them as family. while brok never seemed to be bothered by this and when he was he said so aloud, sindri was, and his failure to speak up for himself as well as atreus’ terrible socialization skills and social influences caused their relationship to shatter.

tldr: we see how kratos influences atreus and some of the time, it’s not for the better.

[himejoshiangels]

realizing just now that all the characters that I'm fixating on currently are ones that are headcanoned/interpreted as black instead of actual black characters bcs the way fandom treats actual black characters is so insidious and unbearable I feel like I'm losing my mind

[marvelgreyson]

The Little Mermaid is Black, Get Over It | The Amber Ruffin Show

I know these studies can be related to queer characters too.

[edalynn]

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