#(2/2) I’ve been filling in a lot for those that are sick. I’m back on the saddle now and doing lab prep/study again. New chapters should

[rise-of-the-ancients]

Oh my goodness! I log in today and see that we’re a little over 100! This is fantastic! Thank you!

I would like to do something special to celebrate this milestone (and a major thank you for follows). I’m not entirely sure as to what to do. If you have any suggestions, please let me know!

[urwifebabes]

A/N: I’m still doin requests, just wanted to make this at the moment

“THE DEVIL HIMSELF?”

relationship(s): ink demon x Joey drew!daughter

Warning(s): smut, stalking (abit)

drip. drip, drop. that’s all you could hear. over and over. why couldn’t you see? what’s going on? you finally opened your eyes to find yourself in a bed, but not your bed. where were you? you sat up and felt your head, god, you had a massive headache.

you thought over what could’ve possibly happened before you fell asleep and then you remembered. you had came back to your fathers abandoned workshop to visit bendy and the others. you had grown quite a lot but you believed they would still remember you. you were 10 when they last saw you.

you were now 21 , only 11 years? not too long you hope. you had gotten out the bed and began to creep out the door. you seen a black dog/wolf. Boris! you went over and hugged him. he looked at you and pulled you off softly. “ma’am? who are you?” you were shocked for a moment before you uttered the words that stopped Boris in his tracks.

“Y/N Drew.”

he hugged you tightly, sniffling. “Y/N, we missed you so much!!” you hugged him back and shook your head at his words, feeling little tears build at the corner of your eyes to. he quickly sat you at the table before he pulled out some type of soup, asking if you were hungry. you quickly shook your head, you didn’t wanna be rude but you already knew it was probably very very veryyyyy old. I mean they can drink it of course, but you’d probably get sick.

“so.. how’s Joey?” you shrugged “fine, he’s doing fine..” Boris looked at you. “why say it like that, hun?” you looked at him. “I guess.. I never quite got over how he left you guys..” he nodded, not saying anything more. you quickly got up, realizing something.

“Where’s Bendy?!.. where’s Alice?!”

he looked at you and sighed. “they are.. not who they used to be. they fell apart after everyone abandoned us.” “.. what happened?” “they turned demonic and empowered.. that’s why I’ve been hiding here.”

“oh.”

you had left the little hiding place with Boris and was now walking around the warehouse. you felt so bad watching the once shiny and glimmering walls now filled with thick ink. you looked around high and low, finding tapes of your fathers coworkers.

you ran across Alice’s territory and she stopped you, asking you to be her little ‘errand girl’. you denied but you didn’t have much of a choice. she began to give you instructions as you did it, no questions asked. you just.. you just wanted to know and see your friends again.

Alice had instructed you to the deepest darkest part of the warehouse to find the ‘devil himself’ so she could rule this place. by herself. you wondered who the devil was. you just knew it wasn’t your sweet innocent Bendy. that cute little devil. you walked through the thick ink, cringing at the feeling of the ink on your legs.

you had came to a door and this.. this thing came out the ink and tried to grab you. you screamed and ran while you heard it hurriedly following you. you ran and ran, more and more of those things were popping out of little things of ink of the ground. they ran you straight into the room where the ink demon sustained himself in. he wasn’t in there at the moment though.. not like you even knew that was his room. great.

you took a breath, not knowing where you had gotten yourself into. what room was this? who’s room was this? questions filled your head so quickly. it was to ‘inky’ for you to tell. you could see a bed though. atleast it looked comfortable.

you took a seat on the bed. you looked over yourself, noticed how you were almost completely covered in ink. you grimaced as you attempted to wipe it off your face. seems like those things were afraid to come in here. you rolled your eyes as you thought over you situation. you haven’t even found Bendy yet and Alice is still waiting on you to find the ‘Devil himself’ - the Ink Demon.

“fuck, one of those things scratched my leg!” you seethed before you got up and went out the room. you looked around and sighed with relief. no fucking monsters. you slowly walked to the infirmary. it took you awhile to get there since the gash on your leg was pretty bad. you finally got there and sat, putting a towel in your mouth as you grabbed the alcohol and bandages.

you wiped the tears off your cheek as you got off the infirmary bed, you headed back to the task at hand. finding the devil himself. you walked around the ink filled rooms with no sign of horns at all. you sighed as your got tired of walking. you found a halfway decent room and sat down. just then, you saw eyes watching you.

you quickly sat up as they began to move around. you followed the eyes, only to see it was one of those monsters, watching. you wondered why he didn’t attack? maybe he was ordered not to by Alice. you quickly followed the little monster and hid behind a wall as he walked right in front of a tall horrific .. demon. you couldn’t help but think that was the devil.

you sat there and watched as Bendy listened to the groans and grunts of the monster, seemingly understanding. you had moved your foot which made the ink slosh. the demon instantly looking up at you. your heart stopped. you guys locked eyes for a few moments(even though you couldn’t see his eyes) before you snapped out of it and began to run, scared. he was scarier than Alice!

you ran, the hard pitter patter, being heard through the murky ‘water’. you heard his minions following you rather then himself. pussy. you thought as you ran a corner, knocking straight into a rock hard chest. your heart stopped. you slowly looked up to see him, smiling over you.

you gulped as you backed up abit. “Bendyyy..! hi, buddy, remember me?” you asked as he looked at you - no, stared at you. he came close and his hand slowly landed on your face as his gruff voice came out. “Y/N?..” you quickly nodded. “yea, yes, bends, it’s me!”

before you guys could begin to talk, he was carrying you, bridal style. you came inside that room you were in earlier with that bed. ah, so this was his room. he dropped you on his bed, before he wanted no time, ripping off your clothes. your eyes widened as you covered yourself. “What are you doing?!”

he quickly shut you up though. his head inbetween your soft plush like thighs as he ate you out. his slimy black tongue trailing between your clit and your unused hole. he kissed your inner thighs before his mouth came right back to your dripping core, sucking your swollen bud. he deemed you wet enough after awhile.

he took his achy cock out. the tip gray, swollen, with a bit of pre-cum, already licking. you sat up abit as you seen it. it had to be atleast 11 inches! he took a look at you and seen your growing nerves as he stroked his lengthy cock. “shhh.. be a good girl and atleast try, okay?”

you reached between the two of you and stroked his cock a few times causing a growl to escape his lips. from him already slicking you up, he pushed inside, no problem… until he tried to thrust more inside. you held onto his arms, the ink beginning to drip down your hands. you took a sigh and Bendy chickled before he pushed himself deeper into your soaked hole. you let out a whimper as you looked up at him, desperately.

his cock was swallowed by your tight hole. he growled as he fucked into you like you were some rag doll he had found. his hard cock finally pushed all the way inside, you choked out a sob as your gummy walls stretched to accommodate him. you moaned out his name as he started moving faster, his tail rubbing your clit deliciously. making you squirm.

your pussy was quivering as you had squirted on his cock and chest about 3 times already while he hadn’t cum twice. he switched your position, flipping you on your stomach as he slid into you once more, making rough and passionate love to your hole. his hands came up to your tit and squeezed. loving the feeling of the flesh between his ungodly hands. you moaned loudly as he bit into your shoulder, cumming into your womb.

you took deep breaths as your vision began to blacken and you faintly saw Bendys shadow walking out the room after covering you. after that, you were out far too soon.

TAGS : @2faced-fairy @alyssalololol

[writingcold]

Hi there.  Welcome to Chapter 14.  The past few chapters have been rough.  I know.  But we got our Junebug to safety, right?  So, without further ado…

If you are just joining us, you can find the Master List to the series here

A very huge hug and thank you goes out to @lvnterninthenight, @gardensgatedaisy and @whitesuitjake.  Your support, ear, talent and just friendship means more than anything.

This is a work of fiction, and is totally mine.  Please do not take it for your own personal use.  I’ve put in hours of research, hours upon hours of writing, re-writing, screaming, yelling and vomiting over this epic of a story.  But it is mine.

Content warning:  The only thing I’m putting in here this time is it’s 18+ for a reason.  That’s why there’s a mature label on it.  Maybe I should put ‘romantic interlude’, blush and get on with the story.  

Word count: approx. 4400

Chapter Fourteen: Safety, Falling Apart, Return to Love - Cora POV

     Dorothy Baroski’s farm was six, nearly seven miles, north of Arbor Vitae, Wisconsin.  Nestled amongst thick woods, she did well for herself on the one hundred and twenty acres that provided hay and corn and supported a few cows and sheep.  She led an unconventional life.  She refused to marry again after her husband died a hero in the great war, opting to run their small farm on her own.  Though no children of her own, Dotty was known to take in strays; those souls broken or lost, until they were once again on their feet.  The only one that stayed was Lucas.  He was a young teen when his parents were taken by the Spanish flu and had no other family that would accept him.  The young man was as close to a son as she could ever hope for in her busy life.

     Dotty and Lucas had met them in town, despite the rains, with a cover on the wagon.  The house was a rambling affair with lots of rooms of dreams that Dorothy and her husband never were able to fully realize.  But each corner, each nook and cranny, were filled with the warmth that the woman provided to the world.  Jacob was correct - he had sent them to a sanctuary that Junie could start again.  

     Cora walked with Marcus every morning, looking for whatever the man was searching for and never to be found.  Whatever threat that may have been perceived did not trail them south.  She knew her friend was to return to Kingsford once he was assured the women were safe.  It pained her to say goodbye as it seemed to be her only current tie linking back to Jacob.  She was struggling.  Cora did not in any fashion believe that taking care of her sister was wrong, but the absence of Jacob was a bitter wound that was beginning to wear through her heart.  Her lungs burned so much at times that she wanted to run right back to Kingsford.  The idea of such selfishness pierced her.  She needed to care for Junie.  She needed to be strong for her sister.  But how was she supposed to stay strong when her whole body was screaming at her return to a space that was nurtured by her love.  

     “It will be well, Miss Cora,”  he said, his gruffness only adding to the unusual softness he conveyed.  “You’ll see.  Your fella won’t fail you.  I’ve never known Mr. Jacob to ever not do what is right by his family.”

     “But I am not family.  Not truly,”  she whispered to keep herself from shattering.

     He merely grinned before rubbing her shoulder gently.  “Maybe, but you are something better - his future.  Perhaps his future needs to not follow what he says he thinks he desires, what he thinks is right.” 

Chapter Fourteen: Pt. 2, Susannah POV

     Cora had been gone a week and the family seemed shredded because of it.  Jacob walked around in a daze or was yelling at Sam over the Moon or fuming over any little wrinkle in his day.  He drank doubles and triples until he could barely function just to survive his nights.  It was a heart sickness that she understood all too well.  Joshua, focused on the bank and learning its operations, was short-fused while trying to keep his twin from imploding.  Daniel and Molly rode the fringes, trying to be as quiet as possible.  Sam seemed to fight everything and everyone just from feeding off of whatever the hell was going on between the twins.  His short temper lashed out at her only to immediately regret his hard words, his harsh actions.  To watch him struggle in the wake of events sent ripples of despair through Susannah.

     Business needed to resume.  Jacob and Danny were off on a run, a second sweep in the Moon.  Time on the run nearly doubled in their efforts to skirt Marquette county as much as possible.  Sam was a nervous wreck.   He second guessed each modification he had made on the vehicle the entire time Jake and Danny were absent.  It was all Susannah could do to provide him with some form of comfort and support.  

     She walked into Molly’s; the smell of coffee heavy in the air.  Her friend sat at her table, head down and arms thrown over like she was hiding.  

     “What’s this all about, sweetheart?”  she asked, touching Molly’s back to get her attention.

     Molly sat up, her eyes destroyed and her skin pale.  “Being stupid is all.  Don’t worry about it.  Coffee?”

     Susannah waved at her and got her own cup before sitting down.  “Mols, come on.  This is not nothing.”

     “Just having a moment, love.  With all this shit, I’m just a little extra worried that Jake won’t be able to protect Danny,”  she whispered.

     “No word from Cora?”  she asked, picking at the edge of the table.

     Molly shook her head.  “Marcus got in last night, though.”

     “I saw that.”  She debated if she wanted to breathe her next thought into existence.  Sipping at the bitter liquid, she swallowed hard.  “Do you think she’s really going to stay with Junie?”

      “I wouldn’t blame her.  What that fuck did to her sister was…”  Molly inhaled sharply, her mouth a hard line.  “If I ever see him, I’m going to cut his dick off and shove it down his throat.”

      “There’s my Molly,”  Susannah whispered.  

      With Jake and Danny gone, and Josh spread thin with the shops and bank, it was coming down to Sam to oversee the Lantern and the dancehall.  Every night, she sat with him.  Joshua would appear briefly, all smiles and professional talk with other heads of business, but would disappear the moment he could sleep and prepare for the next day.  

     Week two slid into week three.  Jake returned enraged and drunk within the first hour.  Danny had no words to explain.  Jake said nothing the entire run and was already demanding that they only take a few days rest before heading out again to make up for lost time.  The autumn storms were starting to turn colder.  Sam worried over muddy roads and ice that they had no idea how the Moon would handle.  Jake seemed to not truly care.  He was nearly frantic to get those last few runs in despite the toll it was taking on himself, Danny, or anyone else involved in the operation.  

     Week three was grinding to a close.  Molly joined Susannah sipping on gin rickeys and watching the crowd.  Joshua was shaking hands and talking with a group of men on the other side of the room while Sam stood at the bar.  

     “Any word from our friend down south?”  Susannah asked just to make conversation.

     Molly shrugged.  “It’s weird.  Jake has made no mention of getting Rosemary and boys ready to head out.  I don’t think Cora has reached out to anyone since leaving.”

     “He’s going over there though, right?  He’s looking after the family like he promised?”  Susannah asked, concerned that perhaps Jake was not living up to his part of the deal with Cora.  

     “Danny said he’s over there every moment he’s not here drinking,”  she answered.  “Marcus is checking in with Rosemary when Jake’s gone, or like this…”

     Susannah could not hide the relief she felt.  Despite his heartache, she could not see him failing in the responsibility that he had accepted.  They fell to silence as Sam moved to the piano.  There were polite claps before he dug into some jazz that set the crowd on the dancefloor into a tizzy.  Susannah smiled.  To have a glimpse of a bit of normal felt good, but she knew it was not going to be long lived.  

     The first Saturday of October brought the first hint of early snow.  Though only a dusting, the mood was unusually subdued with the notion that winter was going to be long for the year's end of 1926.  Jake sat at the table, his face and body looking like he had been in a fight that he had not won.  The glass between his fingers was largely ignored as he glared out across the room, despite its two fingers of rich amber whiskey.  The unhappy radiated off of him like a fire storm.  She wondered if his anger kept him from dulling his pain.  She was unsure what was scarier - the sober bomb laying in wait or the drunken ire that threatened.  Susannah’s heart ached for him, but she tried to stay in character for him and Josh as they nearly mirrored each other.  Josh sat at Jake’s side, body heavy against the table, his own drink empty waiting for a refresh.  

     The entire table startled when Jake stood up suddenly, launching himself forward, his steps quick as he moved around carefree patrons.  Susannah’s gaze trailed ahead, landing on Cora standing just inside the side door.  The woman’s face was rosy with a joy that sparkled in her eyes and radiated across the space as if reaching out to envelop her love.  

     “I’ll be,”  Molly sighed.

      Even Josh laughed as Jacob fell into her, the door closing to hide their moment of reuniting.  In the blink of an eye, the mood had shifted.  Susannah saw the relief in Josh’s face as he lifted his twin’s glass to his own mouth to drink it down.  

     “Goddamn, I don’t ever want to do this again,”  Josh said as the bottom of the glass smacked the table. 

     They toasted the sentiment as their smiles turned genuine and the happy slowly returned to their spirits.

Chapter Fourteen, Pt. 3, Cora POV

     “You need to go home, Cora,”  Junie had said as she poured out tea for the three of them.  “I will be well.  Dotty said I could stay forever if I wanted.  Your heart’s not here.”

     The tiny swell of her sister’s belly called out to her.  Junie’s health had improved rapidly once they settled into Dorothy’s home.  She was amazing, full of warmth and spirit and life.  The woman treated them like family immediately.  At Junie’s sentiment, she had smiled at Cora.

     “Jacob has always been the kind of soul who puts those he loves before himself,”  she stated thoughtfully.  “He’s very much like my sister in that regard.  Perhaps, for once, his needs can be put first, while you fulfill your own.”

     Cora had tried not to run from the train station, but her feet would not listen.  The night was thick with humidity and the air was heavy with mist, despite the chill.  She stepped into the dancehall, sure that her face was flustered and reddened with exertion.  She smiled at the few faces she knew as she pushed her way back to the employee door.  In the hall, she stopped as Marcus turned towards her.  After a beat, his face melted into a relieved smile.  He took out his handkerchief for her to wipe at her face.

      “Dear lord, it’s good to see you, Cora,”  he said as they started walking down the stairs.  “Do they know you’re here?”

      “No,”  she answered, trying in vain to catch her breath.  “I just got off the train and I couldn’t wait another moment.  Is he here?”

      “Of course he’s here,”  Marcus said with a nod as he opened the door for her.

      The first glimpse broke her heart.  The hardness; the anger that roiled from his form was palpable as Jacob stared off across the room.  It was the man that she feared in the beginning: a Jacob that was angry without limit.  Everything within her froze with a threat to shatter.  In the span of a breath, his dark eyes strayed to her and he was to his feet and moving towards her.  Pieces of anger fell away with each step like chunks of ice, replaced with warmth and surprise.  As he reached for her, she laughed out, dropping her bag and folding herself against him as his mouth pressed against her in need.  Her heart started to beat again.  Her spirit moved and twisted around the man that quaked against her.

     Jacob’s palm cupped her cheek as he wrapped himself around her.  “God, you're beautiful,”  he whispered before kissing her once more.  

     Cora hummed as he pulled away, only to bring her in her close, pulling her flush against him.  She could feel him shaking beneath her touch.  “Jacob,”  she said against his ear, “take me home.”

     He touched her face once more before reaching for her satchel and leading her up the stairs, with a nod to Marcus, he led them down the narrow hall and out into the alley.  Jacob wrapped her arm with his own, but held tight to her hand as well.  He walked forward, but she stopped when she realized that he was moving towards the house on Park.  He looked back at her and she shook her head.

     “Home,”  she repeated, shyness coloring her cheeks.

     She watched as he swallowed and hesitated for another moment.  They walked quietly towards the Kiszka home.  Her heart fluttered and threatened to jump into her throat as his presence excited her blood and brain and everything seemed to be warm under her skin.  Inside, he helped her out of her coat.

      “Do you want some coffee?  I can-”

     She shook her head.  She watched as his eyes drifted closed.  Cora followed him up the stairs, her fingers entwined with his and he gently tugged her along.  He switched the light on the dresser as they stepped inside the familiar space.  He set her bag down on the dressing table before turning back to her.  She looked into his handsome face, her body finally calming enough as he reached for her once more.  

     There was a wholeness she felt as he kissed her, touched her, allowing her to breathe him in and absorb his strength.  “I want you to teach me to make love to you, Jacob.”

     His brow twitched as his eyes drifted to her lips.  “It’s going to hurt at first.”

     “I don’t care,”  she whispered as he traced the line of her jaw.  “It doesn’t scare me.  I want you to make me yours.  And I want to make you mine.”

     He ran a hand through his hair and seemed to take a moment to collect himself.  He moved close, planting a soft kiss against her mouth.  His hands looped around her shoulders as he walked them back towards his bed.  She deepened the kiss as he freed her hair to spill down her back and over her shoulders.  He smiled against her lips as her fingers pressed against his bottom.  They undressed each other slowly, each item set to the side with care.   He took his time, relishing each piece of revealed skin with the brush of his mouth, the press of his fingertips, the graze of his eyes.  She felt her chest begin to tighten as her hands danced across the planes of him, drawing her mark into muscle, scar, ridge of bone and skin.  He reached over and pulled the covers back,  before he turned and backed his way onto the mattress, pulling her along, never breaking their kiss.  

      She lay down on his pillow and he moved onto his side, rising up over her.  There was no embarrassment over their nakedness.  There was no shyness.  Cora smiled as she reached to touch his face.  His dark eyes shimmered in the low light of the room.  

     “Why did you come back?”  he asked, brushing her hair back from her face.

     She stayed quiet for a few moments.  Though the truth was simple, she did not need the words to sound foolish.  “My heart needed you.”

     He dragged his knuckles down her cheek, seemingly overcome.  He ghosted his fingers down her neck to dance across her collar bones.  “I’m going to touch you, Cora.  Tell me to stop and I will.”

     She let out a sigh as his palm pressed against the top of her chest before drifting across to her side and down until he cupped the swell of her breast.  He kept his eyes on her, watching her face.  He drew her nipple between his fingers gently before leaning down to place an open mouthed kiss against the top of her breast.  He kissed her, sucking in her bottom lip between his teeth.  Jacob’s touch swirled down, following the curve of her hip and then back towards him, ghosting across the pubic bone to follow the path of her thigh to her knee.  He pushed her right leg open and pulled her left to bend against his frame; the pads of his fingers pressing into the inner thigh as he shifted to rise up on his side more.  

     Cora’s breath started to quicken with anticipation.  He bent again, this time, a deep kiss set her skin on fire as his fingers tucked into her folds in a single pass.  His hand returned to the inside of her thigh, pushing further to expose her all the more.  He circled her nub with a featherlight press of his middle finger.  Her breath escaped in a soft gasp before he covered her mouth with a harder kiss.  His touch grew heavier, more demanding as he withdrew, his attention caught once more on her breasts.  He nuzzled his way closer to her frame as she opened further to him.  His mouth was wet against her skin, hot and seeking until he landed his cheek against her chest.

     Her fingers traced up the expanse of his back, the bumpy spine, the sinew of the muscle and sharpness of his shoulder blades until seeking out the soft vulnerability of his neck.  He shifted ever so slowly to begin planting kisses across her chest and tops of her breasts.  Cora’s sighs and coos became harder, deeper the more he touched and circled and pressed.  As he moved to look into her face, she stared into his eyes, taking in the way his body responded to her, how it seemed to glisten and shine just for her.  The redness of his lips made her swoon as he leaned into her, pressing his mouth against her throat.

      “I’m going to…”  he whispered before pressing a finger to her entrance.

      Her body reacted by bowing into his hand, accepting him as he slid his finger in and out rhythmically, but at a pace that was languid as if needing her to settle.  His kiss deepened more, his tongue mirroring his hand as he added a second. She sucked in a hard breath at the feel and he stopped but did not withdraw.

      “Hurt?”  

      She did not know how to answer.  It was more a sting that flashed across her insides but was already gone.  Cora relaxed the tension from her frame and shook her head no.  He started to move his fingers again, this time, the pad of his thumb rubbed against her clit when he pressed all the way in.  Shockwaves pelted her brain as he patiently worked her body.  The emotions that flooded her were unexpected.  Joy.  Euphoria.  A bit of fear of what was to come.  Loved.  Each kiss.  Each touch.  Each move of his hand conveyed nothing but a pureness of love.  Her heart hammered in her chest as she slid her arm from behind him, reaching down she hesitated only a moment as her fingers were met with his cock, hard against her hip. 

     “God damn,”  he breathed as she wrapped her hand around him, giving him a little squeeze.

     Surprised by his reaction, she stopped, eyes unsure.  “Did I do something wrong?”

     “No, baby,”  he whispered.  “Do it more.  Touch me more.”

     Cora bit into her lip before taking him once more.  He rutted into her palm, matching the slowness of his own hand against her.  Her mouth dropped over the feel.  Her brain was connecting the movements and her core ached for more.  Involuntarily, she started to lean into his touch, moving her hips so that he pressed harder.  He began sucking in her ear lobe, giving it a little bite.  The sensations became overwhelming as he lapped at her skin, dragging his teeth across her.  Little pauses in her thoughts felt like someone was turning on and off the lights as her body jolted with pleasure.  Her legs were trembling as he sped his rhythm a fraction.  A soft hum vibrated through his chest as he looked at her, eyes clouded with his own emotions.  In a deliberate move, he withdrew his fingers and she gasped at the sudden emptiness she felt.

     She was not going to let him go until he smiled.  “May I make love to you?”

     “I thought that was what we were doing?”  

     “Almost.  But now together.”

     Her brain stopped completely as he moved his body between her legs, gently making room for himself.  Jacob propped himself up on one arm so as not to press her down with too much weight, but what she felt sent shivers through her that made her want to memorize the happiness that flooded her.  He kissed her, slow at first until once more, he moved, this time guiding his cock into her body at a snail's crawl.  Her jaw slackened before dropping.  Her hands clutched at his shoulders over the sensation.  It was not pain like she was expecting.  It was a burst of rupture that subsided quickly, but stung as he continued before stopping at his hilt.

     Every muscle quivered.  Every thought was gone save for those of him.  The touch and heat of him.  The smell of him.  The …  the…  the feel of him inside of her was not what she thought it would be.  It was like a completion of her, somehow.  A fullness that was meant to be.  She had not realized that she was squeezing her eyes shut so hard that her face was bunched up.  Her arms and legs clung to him so tightly that neither could move.  Slowly, she relaxed, opening her eyes to find him searching her expression.  

     He kissed her as he threaded his hand into hers before bringing it up above her head so as to lower himself fully against her.  Like with his hand, he slowly drew out only to return.  Both gasped over the movement.  

     Her breath fought in and out of her mouth as he began to move in earnest.  “What do I feel like?”

     A soft moan fell from him as he looked at her.  “The softest…  The softest of silk wrapped all around me, Finch.”

     At the sound of his pet name, her body spasmed against him.  He smirked as a soft moan escaped.

     “And when your body does that,”  he whispered against her ear, “it’s euphoria across my whole body.”

     He pressed a passion filled kiss to her mouth before pushing himself up.  He slid both hands under the small of her back to lift her slightly, while keeping connected.

     “Does it hurt?”  he asked softly, before he started to move once more.

    She shook her head, but the faint sting of each strike was still present, all the more so with his change of hold on her.   Aside from that, Cora could feel her brain letting go of the fear, allowing herself to focus only on the sensation that he was sharing with her.  Total adoration.  It was the only thought that stuck as she looked upon him.  It filled every pore and every sound that was shared.  An urgency started to pull under her skin, hot and bright.  Jacob slid one hand between their bodies and was rubbing that nub.  Seeing him turned her skin to flame and her breath to catch on nothing other than frenzied passion.

     “You’re doing so good,”  he whispered as she felt like her entire being had been shoved under water and tossed into the air at the same time.  No restraints.  Nothing but love.

      A look passed his face as he grimaced and tucked his chin.  He shook his head like he was struggling.

     “Finch - I gotta,”  he started but suddenly pulled his body away from her, pumping himself rapidly.  His cum scalded the skin of her belly.  Her eyes widened as he finally slowed to a stop.  

     “No babies,”  he said, his eyes closed.  “Not yet.”

     She looked at the opalescent fluid on her skin and it took a moment to realize what he was talking about.  Her cheeks blushed over the thought.  He let out a soft laugh as his breathing slowed.  He held up a hand for her to stay and went into the washroom.  She heard the taps turn on and he was fast to reappear with a couple of wet cloths.  The first he wiped at her belly with.  The second he held to her entrance.  The action surprised her and she flinched.

     “I didn’t mean to hurt-”

     “No, no,”  she blurted in embarrassment, seeing his dismay.  “It doesn’t hurt.  I wasn’t expecting you to, uh, care about …  that.”

     His brows pinched, but continued to just hold the cloth against her for a few more moments.  “I cherish all of you.  I’m running a bath.  It’ll help.”

     He stood straight, holding his hand out for her to take.   Cora realized he was trying to care for her but in her ignorance was fumbling the situation.  Modestly, she followed him into the bathroom and he felt the water to make sure it was not too hot.  Turning the taps off, he stepped in first, holding his hand to her to help.  She shyly stepped in as he sat, guiding her to sit with her back to him.  She fit snuggly, finding a comfort she did not expect.  His arms wrapped around her, seeking out her hands to hold as the steam of the water soaked into their bodies.

     “Is it always like this?”  she asked, allowing her head to fall back onto his shoulder.

     Jacob trailed kisses against her cheek.  She could feel him smile.  “Sometimes.  Did I hurt you badly?”

     She shook her head.  “It wasn’t what I expected.  I mean…  It’s not like I didn’t know what would happen, but…  I…”

     “Finch, did you like it?”  he asked.

     “I did,”  she whispered, her cheeks a furious red that he tried to kiss away, but it only made things worse.

     “I did, too,”  he said as he wrapped their arms around her.  “It gets better.  It gets so much better.”

     “Better?”

     He hummed deep in his chest.  “I will learn what you like.  How you like for me to touch you, taste you, move you.  And you will learn my body, Finch.  You will learn how I like to be touched, tasted.”

     “Like our own dance,”  she sighed as he pulled her even closer against his body.

     “Like our own dance.”

     Cora felt the tiredness creep up from the soles of her feet to invade her brain.  She watched as Jacob brushed his fingertips across her arm, back and forth, as if memorizing the little ridge of scar that was there.  Loved.  Her entire self felt the security of him as they washed each other, sharing soft adorations and touches.  They wrapped around each other in quiet fashion as they lay in bed.  Cora breathed him in as her cheek landed on his chest.  Her eyes were closed when he whispered his love for her, sending her off to sleep.

Yeah.  Am I ashamed that I’m posting this on my b-day?  Not really.  So raise a glass of your favorite preferred beverage with me - cheers to you all, lovelies!

I do have a tag list - you can find it here

@lvnterninthenight @doodle417 @luverleaver @jakesgrapejuice @fictional-duchess @whitesuitjake @milkgemini @positivegvfthings @songbirds-sweet @streamingcolors-gvf @gretavanbitches @samsurfgreenbass @gardensgatedaisy @babyhoneygvfarchive @myownparadise96 @josh-iamyour-mama @starcatchercarol @loveisonaroll @jakesstarlight @reesetrippingthelight @builtby-gvf @ignite-my-fire @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @wetkleenex-gvf @gold-mines-melting @starsasone @puzzle-gvf @mysticalstarcatcher @montenegroisr @takenbythemadness @way-to-go-lad @cal-a-bungaa @lightmylove-gvf @thewritingbeforesunrise @leftjudgeempathsuitcase @brokenbells11 @imborrowedshesblue @vanfleeter @sammysvanfeet @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @jaketlove @redsierra1960 @gvfmarge @becinabubblegvf @wildbluesorbit @sinarainbows

[1437purplehearts]

JEON JUNGKOOK: UNEXPECTEDLY | Part 2

Masterlist

🥀Genre/tags: strangers to friends to lovers, girl next door, guy next door fame,jk, fluff, angst, smut, young adults (18+) may contain mentions of kissing, sex in numerous instances, it might get a bit explicit… (18+)

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Y/N

Reaching the door of a small conference room off the left end of the first floor, I hear Nari’s voice as she mentions my name. A bit nervous to enter I took a deep breath before turning the handle my hand was resting on pushing it open softly. As I entered I get a good look at the person she was speaking to, before she stands from her seat next to the tall buff man who was dressed nicely in a casual grey button up shirt, unbuttoned by two buttons, a pair of black of trousers and who’s shoes were just as shiny and black as the short locks on his head which were neatly parted to the side and a few pieces dangling his face.

“Oh you’re here. That was a lot faster than I thought it would be for you to get here considering it’s hitting rush hour. How was the cab ride?” She made her way over to me to give me a quick hug before directing me to sit down on the empty lounge chair closest to her.

The room was small but it was enough to fit a black three seater couch, two arm chairs and a round coffee table that a large oval shaped Starseed Entertainment branded rug cushioned underneath it. They were placed strategically in front of the big windows that faced the back of the building which was just a huge courtyard made up of seating, cherry blossoms trees, a variety of other flowers and greenery. On the opposite wall a projector screen was installed I assume was used for presentations if anyone needed to and a built in storage unit sat beneath it. It wasn’t like one of those boring boardroom set ups that we would normally meet in with a big group whenever we worked on an important project.

“I actually got a ride here from a friendly neighbor. So not too bad.”

I made my way over and sat down placing my purse behind me. Nari had made her way back to her seat as well and gestured back and forth between me and the man next to her. He looked like he may have been around the same age as Nari. He had this really intense persona to him. I could tell he was mature and well educated. Probably what every girl writes in their diaries about when they describe their dream guy.

“Oh that’s great you’re getting acquainted with the other people living there. Y/n this is Namjoon. I was just telling him about how I met you and the work you did for XG. He’s filling in for his manager Lee Seojin today as he fell sick last minute and it was too late notice to reschedule. Also, Samh won’t be joining the meeting today either he was not so lucky to beat the rush hour today after going downtown to check the progress of the new filming site being set up for their next promotional video.” She informed me sweetly smiling as she always did.

“Nice to meet you.” I bow slightly from my seat as he does the same standing slightly to reach out and shake my hand before getting seated again. He smiled a genuine smile, I my heart couldn’t help but skip a beat as he scanned me quickly finding my eyes, which I diverted as his dimples caught my attention and I nearly melted from the exchange. I’m sure my cheeks were red as roses.

“Likewise.”

I clear my throat and shift my focus back to Nari as she begins filling me in on really important business proposal that she thought would be great for me to start making my own industry connections.

“Even though Samh is not here we can still get through the meeting. I can fill him in later about what we discussed just start because I don’t want to take up too much of Namjoons time.”

She picked up her tablet that was on the table and quickly read over some notes she made.

I pulled out my phone going over to my notes app just in case I needed to take any information down as well.

“So I believe I’ve mentioned it before but Starseed is looking to expand its resources potentially partnering with other big name companies like VIBE. Namjoon is actually one of the artists there.

Did she just say VIBE? Like the same VIBE JK said he worked for?

I was clearly surprised by this news. I was under the impression that Namjoon maybe might just be some sort of assistant. I wonder if he knows JK personally then? My eyes shot up over to him and I do another once over. Seeing the surprise on my face Nari quickly adds.

“I know you don’t have too much knowledge about some of the existing groups and solo artist from the Asian scene but that’s why I wanted you to come to this meeting today. The partnership with VIBE specifically would open so many opportunities for you. I want you to be our line of connection with them of course using your writing skills helping them bring their different groups and project concepts to life. Namjoon here has years of experience with networking and building professional relationships. He will be introducing you to the companies production team as they work on debut projects for the trainees there.”

I simply nod and Namjoon adds to the conversation.

“We have a team of people rather than an individual that helps with these things of course because there’s so much to do and many artists to handle. ”

“That’s right…” Nari points out. “I know we brought you here on the basis of just being one of our contracted writers but I know you are capable of much more and this just really feels like a great opportunity for you. I don’t think I’d trust anyone else with it if I’m honest. However it’s completely up to you if you feel comfortable enough accepting a bit more responsibility. What do you think?”

Trying my best not to fidget with the hem of my skort or anything else that would make me look uncomfortable I folded my hands together and rested them on my lap, straightening my posture before replying.

“I think you’re right about it being a great opportunity….It’s definitely more than I would’ve imagined when I took the offer to work here. I’m really grateful and excited to be working with you…” I pause not sure if I should address him by Mr or just by his name.

“You can call me Joon. I don’t mind it.” He said smiling sweetly. “I really look forward to working with you too.”

“Thank you Joon.” I respond feeling less anxious and relaxing my shoulders a bit before Nari begins again.

“Awesome! Some work will be done here as usual but there are many occasions you will go to at the VIBE building to work with their team.”

“Yeah because our company houses so many artists and a lot of time needs to be split between them and it’s just easier if we don’t have to keep traveling back and worth to meet you here to go over things and as sets are being built for videos, photoshoots and performances… I’m sure you’ll be inspired everywhere you turn.” He adds.

“I can’t wait.” I smile thanking them both before I’m handed a business card from Namjoon as the meeting come to an end after Nari gets a call and excuses herself most likely to her office leaving the door open as I start to gather my belongs while he lingers a bit. It was silent for a moment before he spoke almost startling me.

“Man like this place is really something… I mean my company is definitely a place that draws one’s attention but this. This is dope. Really like…look at this courtyard.” He walks towards the window peering out. There were a few people walking through sitting and chatting.

I’m not sure why he was really sticking around but I had planned on going to my writers suite to work on a new song that I had stuck in my head and since we were done. I thought he’d be heading out too but I guess not.

“Yeah it reminds me of the place I first met Nari.” I decided to walk over and stand next to him to have a look. I quickly was made aware of how tall he actually was and made sure not to look directly at him as I’d feel really small even though I’m an average 5’5 in height.

“Yeah? How long have you know her?”

I was under the impression Nari would have told him when we met but I guess it wasn’t relevant to their conversation.

“About one year. 4 months. How about you?”

I feel his eyes on me. “I’ve known her since my trainee days. We are actually really close. It was easy to fill in for Lee Seojin because of our history. She seems quite fond of you.”

I let out a soft laugh. “Yeah well she sort of became one of my best friends but we still maintain a professional relationship most days. It has been none stop work since I got here and it only gets busier.”

“Trust me I know how it can get…” He says turning fully towards me now. ��However, I’ll

make sure that you aren’t all work and no play.”

I raise an eyebrow at him only glancing for a few seconds before looking back out the window.

“I meant you will have a fair work life balance. I mean how do you stay inspired to write if you don’t have experiences to write about?”

“Right.”

I nodded in agreement. Most of my songs I write are about personal experiences or experiences that friends or family have shared with me. My imagination on it’s on wasn’t always enough. I’d end up writing about the same stuff over and over again.

“I’ve already invited Nari but there’s an art show happening soon that I think you should see. If you want to come?”

“Oh yeah sure I’d love that.”

I said and finally gain enough courage to face him directly and give him a friendly smile which of course he returns then looks over my head at the door which indicates he’s prepared to leave.

“Well I’ll see you around y/n. It really was nice to meet you.” With this he bows his head slightly then excuses himself out.

I waited at least two mins before exiting behind him to go to my writers suite where I wrote and played around with melodies on the keyboard and guitars that were left there for me to use as needed. Right before I turn to go up the staircase I spot Nari with Namjoon but this time instead of appearing like two professionals they were standing close enough to touch and whatever they were discussing wasn’t business related. I could tell by the blush in her cheeks and the deep dimples of his cheeks as he looked down at her affectionately. I giggle and make my way up the stairs before they saw me spying on them.

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Hours go by with me in my suite it’s nearly 8PM and my phone buzzes from a text.

I pull it off the desk in front of me and see a text from Nari.

Kim Nari 🪷: Hey I’m getting ready to head out. What are you doing for dinner tonight?

Y/n 🥀: hmm I’m not sure tbh any suggestions?”

Buzzz Buzz

Kim Nari 🪷: I was thinking since it’s a friday night you’d want to have a night out? Before schedules start getting crazy. Which btw I will be sending you some calendar events.

Y/n 🥀: Yeah sure I’ve done enough writing for the day. I’ll book a ride home and meet you there after I change?

Kim Nari 🪷: Yeah sure I will send the address of the bar. See you there.

Buzz Buzz

I take a look at the address and grab my purse making sure to turn out the light as I exit the writer suite. No one else was still here besides me and the cleaners. I had to hurry home and get changed. I booked a ride share since of course my assistant was out and I didn’t know if I was ready to ask JK for a ride yet. There’s no reason for me to use him like he’s a personal driver. I’m just grateful he got me here this morning.

It takes them 10 mins to get here. I was already waiting at the bottom of the stairs and slide right in the back saying hello to the driver who was really nice. I arrive back home after 30 mins because of the evening rush. It’s now 8:40 pm plenty of time to get ready.

I slide off my shoes and hop in the shower before getting ready.

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JK

“Yah! Where are you bro?” Tae shouts over the loud music thumping rhythmically in the background as he staring drunkenly at me through face time.

I chuckled and shake my head at him.

“I literally just got here. Had to park the Harley in a good spot.” I say as I continue locking up my helmet to my bike. Tae and Jimin invited me out tonight to this new club. I only agreed because I literally had nothing better to do and I needed something to get my mind off of my new neighbor. I hadn’t heard from her since this morning. Not that I’m keeping track or anything but I don’t know… I sorta thought she would use my number since I gave it to her and told her to call if she needed. I guess I shouldn’t expect to be needed? She barely knows me and I just so happened to do her a favor because it was just the right timing to do a good deed.

“Hurry your ass in here! Maybe try and get laid tonight too. You’ve been hiding away from us for 2 weeks.” Tae shouts at me and I roll my eyes. I know I didn’t need to show up to work for a few more days so I just enjoyed the alone time and bonding with Beaumi. I’m not really that into taking random girls home to expend my energy and kick out immediately after.

It’s too risky to do that anyway. There’s always someone lurking around with a camera waiting to take the perfect photo of me to try and expose me for shit that normal people do everyday, like breathe.

“The only one trying to get laid is you. Also I haven’t been hiding from anyone.” I state as I start to walk towards the back entrance of this bar just like Jimin instructed me to do. There was a tall guard standing directly in front of the door dressed in all black with matching black shades so you couldn’t see his eyes. He sees me and immediately steps aside to let me pass.

“Anyway I’m coming inside bye.” I don’t give him a chance to respond and nod a thank you to the guard and step through the red door. It was nearly pitch black but floor lights lined the floor just enough you could see where you were stepping and two doors with lights right above them one to the front

of the bar the other probably some sorta of dressing room or storage. I could not only hear the thumping music but I could now feel it. This meant the DJ booth was somewhere close by too. I stepped through the door to the front.

Neon lights and beams light up the place just enough you could make out the silhouettes of everyone and find your way to the bathroom and bar but if you were looking for faces it was a bit hard to see. I squinted my eyes as I try to remember the directions Jimin gave to meet them once I was in. The floor was huge and crowded but it had a second level peering out above it. I turn to my right to find a set of stairs the opposite side of where the DJ booth was indeed located on a raised stage and made my way up. The lights were a bit brighter here and I could see thee drunk Tae dressed in a red suit no shirt with only a few buttons keeping him from being completely exposed, with slicked back blonde hair with dark roots. Throwing back what’s probably like his 20th shot of alcohol.

Jimin sits to the side away from him on the black leopard patterned lounge sofa. His hair slicked back a bit more messily then Taes and he was dressed in all black a mesh top underneath exposing just enough to look the way only Jimin could. There were a couple of random girls and guys sitting or standing next to them. Specifically one guy dressed in all white the complete opposite of Jimin with messy long hair staring at him from behind his glass of alcohol while he leaned on a near by wall. Jimin completely unaware I chuckle to myself and make it over to them.

“I see you definitely got some eyes on you tonight.” I tease as Jimin looks up confused. I tilt my head over to the admirer and one look from Jimin was all it took for the guy to shyly excuse himself intimidated by his beauty.

“Ah shit!” Jimin shouts a bit annoyed because he scared him away.

I stand there amused when Tae finally sees me and daps me up, barely able to do so without stumbling a bit and almost splling his entire drink on the girl sitting next to Jimin who was also staring him down.

“Woahh be careful dude.” I say as I keep him steady and pat him on the back. Giving the girl a super apologetic expression. Jimin quickly comes to her rescue grabbing a ton of napkins from the table offering to clean her up. She seemed shocked and just agreed. Probably because who in their right mind would pass up on the opportunity to be wiped down by Jimin in public? I shake me head even more amused before I try and direct Taes ass to sit back down and forceful handing him a bottled water from the table. There were so many empty shot glass and beer on the table my own stomach started to hurt and I hadn’t even order a drink yet. I’m definitely gonna need one dealing with this guy.

Tae sits with a grunt and unscrews the bottom lazily then chugs the bottle until it was flat then discards it on the table with the others, then lets out a big burp and had Jimin ready to scold him. Tae laughs at himself.

“I see you’ve wasted no time to try what

looks like the entire bar menu…” I say taking a seat on the edge of the couch. “What’s good?”

“What kind of question is that Kook?” Tae asks side eyeing me then taking a grip of my shoulder and shouts one of the servers over.

“Hey Reina! Get my guy here one of your finest beers.” He says winking at her.

“Sure thing.” She winks back walking away to get what he asked.

He of course took the opportunity to also stare at her ass. Which was barely being covered by the short skirt she was wearing. She was a tall girl, sporting a neck length bob, and you could see from the way her hair was parted behind her ear the hidden blonde streaks. She had a small but defined nose, lips just the same and her eyes were shaped like a foxes.

“You’re also clearly already well acquainted with the staff.” I point out.

“Ha yeah well. I’m gonna be trying to get a lot more than acquainted tonight.” He states as she comes back handing me the beer clearly hearing him.

“Hey Reina, join me on the floor?” He states as he’s leaned back on the couch manspreading.

She just stares at him almost unsure how to respond but of course…

“Take the lead I’ll follow.”

Next thing you know Tae springs off the couch taking her hand pulling her away to the dance floor. I shake my head and take a sip of my beer.

“So where the hell have you been?” Jimin asks scooting closer to me holding a glass of what I know is straight liquor.

I shrug. “I really just been trying to adjust back to normal. Trips to the gym, bonding with Beaumi, I’ve been to the office a few times but you know I didn’t really have anything scheduled during this time.”

He takes a sip of his glass before responding. “Yeah I admit coming back after all we went through it’s been a bit weird. Especially because there’s been a bit of drama surrounding the company. You know some crazy lady was plotting to take VIBE down while we were away?”

I shake my head and turn to him. “Who isn’t trying to do that? Like seriously even when we aren’t away.” I state.

“It’s ridiculous that so many people really can’t stand to see us be successful.”

“That’s the price of fame I guess.” I shrug taking another sip of my beer and stand up to lean over the balconies edge.

I squint scanning around the place taking in all the details of the club and just as my thoughts go to drift. Right in the line of a spot light pointed near the entrance, I see her. She was with someone who looked familiar. I studied her face which was freshly but gently coated in makeup as she turned her head to the person next to her I catch reflections of shimmer on her skin. She was wearing a sleeveless black laced dress, curls were hanging down brushing her shoulders, a big change from the bun she sported this morning. I gulp and a take another drink of my beer before looking her way again. She must have been looking about as well because we locked eyes and she looked just as surprised to see me. I lift my bottle in her direction as if to say hello and she smiles before being dragged away into the dark by her friend.

I smile to myself and take another sip of my beer before turning back to Jimin.

“You been down on the floor yet?” I ask him.

He stands joining my side peeking over the edge. Spotting Tae who was letting Reina grind against him as they danced.

“Not yet. I was waiting to let everyone get a bit more drunk before taking the floor. Tae has definitely accomplished that. We probably shouldn’t stay too far from him though. No telling what he’d get into without supervision.” Jimin states turning back to the girl on the couch holding his hand out for her. She accepts it as he signals me to follow him down.

I follow them but once we reach the others I can’t help but wonder where y/n went off to. I’m just there shuffling back and forth to the music nodding my head until I spot her by the bar. I tap Jimin to let him know I was going to get another beer and head in her direction.

As I get closer I can see her smile more clearly as she laughs at whatever her friend was saying. There was an empty chair two away from hers I silently take as she continued to talk to her friend oblivious to my presence.

“Haha I’m telling you…he’s so sweet and I’d been crushing on him for years even though we were just friends. We hung out at this art show together one time and he got to talking all this deep talk about what he thought the art meant and how it made him feel in relation to his current life and the lives he’s watched others experience. How it inspired him to write and I swear I had to have been so mesmerized by his words that I just stared at him until he stopped talking and smiled with those dimples of his. They definitely are dangerous. Practically illegal the way they make my heart skip. He asked me out on a real date and we have been sorta together.” He friend narrates her story to y/n as the bartender starts in my direction I slide my glass over for a refill.

“It sounds like you’re in love haha.” Y/n teases.

“Ha… yeah love… is a strong word y/n.” I couldn’t see her face but I can imagine the cringe on her friends face the way she says it.

“I mean if Namjoon wasn’t the person he was I wouldn’t have gotten myself into anything with him. I can’t say that I’m opposed to falling that deep but I’m just not there yet.”she finishes.

I furrow my brows at the mention of Namjoon’s name and shift slightly enough to try and make out her friend’s face. Which when I do, I immediately remember who she was.

This was the girl NJ had been spending a lot of time with even before enlistment. I knew her from our trainee days but I personally didn’t get all that close with her. She was always really nice whenever she’d come around with the company she was interning for, to chat business with Lee Seojin. Joon was apart of most of those meetings of course as the leader of our group. so naturally he got to know her more personally. Nari was her name. It comes to me now that I heard y/n say it in the elevator earlier today and when she was telling me about where she worked. I don’t know why I didn’t pick this up then. Probably because I was too distracted by the beauty sitting next to me now.

“Hmm I guess that makes sense. You always told me there’s more red flag potential here than there is green. Just from the conversation had with him earlier I can tell he’s a rare one.” Her soft voice carries on.

“Yeah veeeeery rare.” Nari chuckles.

“I can only imagine what’s it like to even be mutually in like with anyone. I haven’t even ever had a boyfriend.” she groans.

I lift my brow still eavesdropping.

“What? Seriously y/n? Never?”

“No… I feel like I’ve always picked the wrong ones. I always liked them too much and they never cared to get to know me and like me for me. They only wanted one thing and I stupidly thought I could convince them I was more and they would actually care.” She shrugs then sips her nearly empty drink.

What she doesn’t say is that she once allowed herself to indulge in the thing that they most wanted with one guy who she’d become friends with in college, before a crush developed and he broke her heart into pieces that she didn’t think could be repaired. After what he did to her she lost nearly all the motivation to believe she could ever experience a genuine connection. She lived in survival mode most her life too. So trust wasn’t all that easy for her to extend when it comes to romantic relationships. Her father was a non existent her mom couldn’t be there emotionally for her growing up because she was working so hard to raise her. Her mom was always too tired to do anything more than provide basic parenting. She loved her mom either way but she didn’t have the sort of bond with her as all her other friends did with theirs. She would spend lots of time on her own wishing for what could’ve been.

“Damn I’m sorry…” Nari says as my heart silently breaks for her knowing there’s probably more there than she is sharing and I take a peek at her.

She shakes her head waving it off twirling around her straw in the now empty glass. The bartender notices and attempts to tend to her.

“Would you like another miss?” He asks her. He was a simple looking guy slim frame, dark hair, dressed in black shortsleeved dress shirt and name tag.

“Yeah please.” I’m assuming she didn’t open a tab because she goes to pull out her card to pay but before she does I move just next to her at the bar addressing the bartender.

“Could you put whatever she’s had or wants tonight on my tab please?” I say completely aware that she’s probably in shock from experiencing yet another good deed from me in the first 24hrs of us officially becoming acquainted.

“Oh no… ha you don’t have to do that.” She laughs nervously as the bartender moves to fulfill my request.

I turn to her the corner of my lip turned up into a slight smile as she faces me now when he doesn’t acknowledge her reluctance to allow me to pay, looking shy the way she had the first time we bumped into each other the night before. Nari is looking at me too surprised of my coincidental presence but doesn’t say anything as I nod a hello towards her and she smiles in return probably not wanting to kill the moment with the acknowledgement that she knows me.

“Y/n I’m gonna go to the restroom before we hit the floor. Be right back.” Nari gets up before a reply could be rendered and makes her way through the crowd leaving us alone.

Y/n scuffs a little under her breath at Nari because she didn’t even know if I was a complete stranger or not.

“I know I didn’t have to. I thought it would be nice. The way it is running into you here.” I seat myself once more directly beside her never moving my gaze from her eyes. They were studying me now just the same. I couldn’t help but peep the fleeting sadness in them. I shift my eyes to her hands as she nervously played with them until the bartender was back with her drink and watched her take a sip.

“You know It’s really funny that we keep bumping into each like this. I’m starting to think it’s not a coincidence and I actually have a stalker situation at hand.” She jokes as she turns to me with her straw in her mouth as she takes another sip.

I glare playfully as I tilt my head feening as I’ve taken offense to her words.

“If I’m not mistaken I recall I arrived here first. So it must be you doing the stalking then?” I say with a challenging lift of my brow.

“Only a stalker would know exactly when I arrived.” She challenges me back, causing a cheeky grin to creep onto my face.

“Touché.” I poke my inner cheek with my tongue and advert my eyes to the dance floor before they find there way back to her face.

“So… uh… how was your day?” I ask her.

She snorts putting her drink down turning her back to the bar to face the floor.

“My day was pretty good. It wasn’t too busy I just had my meeting and discovered I’ll be taking duties assisting the production team at VIBE.” As she says this she side eyes me.

I feel the nervous heat trailing up my body. How am I going to hide from her who I am if she’s literally going to work under my nose and she’s close to someone who knows? I run my fingers through my hair. Which was still pretty long but I had decided to have it trimmed a little bit into a wolf cut earlier today to keep it a bit more tamed and to keep myself distracted from waiting for a possible text from the very person I’m looking at now. I sense her gaze on me as I do this.

“Oh so I’ll be seeing you not only in my living quarters but also at my place of work? Also like what are the chances we end up in the same bar,at the same time, on the same night?” I point out.

I hear her snort again followed by a breathy giggle. Why do I find that sound so adorable?

“You really are trying to make your case for the stalking allegations huh?” She asked amused.

I chuckle shrugging. “I mean you’re not really providing evidence that suggests otherwise.”

“Touché.” She mimics my earlier answer in defeat.

The music suddenly gets louder as Nari makes her way back to us. I stand up finishing off my beer. She sips the last of her drink as well watching me. I turn to her just as Nari reaches us glancing curiously between us two.

“Care to dance?” I ask them. Holding out my hand for y/n to take.

She looks at Nari for confirmation and she speaks up.

“Sure why not? We didn’t come to just sit on our asses. Let’s party!” Nari says beginning towards the floor bouncing her shoulders up and down in a playful manner.

We follow ending up not too far from the guys and their companions for the night. Tae sees us and gives me weird wink probably thinking I scored for the night. He taps Jimin to look over too but he just rolls his eyes at Tae and continues minding his business dancing. I laugh to myself and start to feel warm as the beer begins to hit me and I can tell the drinks are hitting y/n too as she starts dancing with Nari. The club played a mixture of Korean and western music but Feel something by Chris brown is what the DJ decided to slow things down with.

She sways her hips left and right running her hands up her side until her hands were in the air. I’m watching her intently as I dance to the rhythm. Nari was in her own world dancing and mouthing the lyrics and didn’t pay us any attention.

Y/n winds her hips in a circle slowly turning her back towards me but not quite touching me. My eyes trail from her bare back down her body studying the direction of which her hips go. The loose skirt of her dress following suit. I grip my bottom lip in between my teeth subtly daring to get closer as she feels my presence at her backside. She turns her head ever so slightly to look at me over her shoulder. I peer down at her taking in her scent as we dance dangerously close but still untouching. I glup as she turns to face me, eyes on my chest. Her body moves meticulously to the changes in the melody and she begins to dance into Nari whose back was turned into hers. I take my eyes off her hips and meet her eyes stepping closer as she reaches out to pull me in gently by my shortsleeved v-neck,silky, black shirt. Tattoos and muscles exposed. I raise a brow at her and she shrugs it off. Our faces were inches away now I could feel her breath on me. I reach to take her hand from my chest smirking at the surprised expression twinkling in her eyes as I pull it up to my shoulder and slowly grip onto her waist making sure not to move my hands anywhere else. I see her blush as a beam of light flickers past her face she focuses downward as we continue to dance into each other. I tilt my head courteously and take my hand from her waist, using hers to turn her around so her back was to me again. She takes the bait as Feeling lucky by Bibi and Jackson Wang starts to play changing the pace. I feel her lower half shyly brushed against my lower half but I didn’t push her to get closer.

Nari continues to dance along in front of her mentally noting the intensity we were creating on the floor. From the corner of my eye I see Jimin and Tae approaching with their dance partners following them. Reina holding a serving plate with shots. She offers us one and I take one for me and hand y/n one as our bodies part from each other.

“Wooahhh fuck!” Tae shouts after downing his shot.

Jimin of course takes his with a straight face as the rest of us scrunch our faces at whatever concoction Reina just handed us she disappears with the empty glasses before returning. Tae leans on my shoulder now taking a good look at y/n then back at me patting my back. I rolls my eyes and shake him off glad she didn’t notice because she continues dancing now with the other girls.

Jimin standing beside me also looks at her then at me. “Well well what do we have here?”

“No idea.” I shake my head grinning to myself after responding, not caring to entice them with any information about my new neighbor yet. Especially because I’m completely unsure what is happening here.

We continued the night taking more shots and dancing until we couldn’t anymore ending back up on the upper level trying to sober up at bit by eating some bar food. I was sitting back against the couch with my eyes closed trying to protect them from the lights y/n next to me struggling to eat the fries in front of her.

“Hey y/n I’m going to head home you coming with or?” Nari asks her as she grabs her bag to head out eyes flickering back and forth between me and y/n. I wasn’t aware of this with my eyes closed but y/n voice has my eyes fluttering open. She was clearly drunk.

“I..mhm..you go I need to sober up a bit more before I move anywhere.” She says laughing at herself as she misses her mouth as she tries to bite into the handful of fries she was holding.

Amused I glance over at her. Clearly not as affected by the alcohol.

“Jungkook…Can you make sure she goes home safely?” Nari asks me.

I look between her and her drunk friend and nod. “Sure.”

Nari glares down at me challengingly .“You better or I’ll have your head, got it?” She threatens.

I sit up nodding at her not really intimidated because I know she means well. “You can count on me.”

Satisfied with my answer she hugs y/n before waving at the other’s disappearing down to the floor.

I look over at y/n spotting an unopened water bottle, I grab it twisting the top before taking her hand placing it there for her to take a drink. She doesn’t fight it and takes a few sips in between eating the rest of the fries. I look over at Tae and Reina as she’s trying to sober him up from the 100 drinks he’s downed tonight. Which I know will result in the worse hangover of his life tomorrow when he wakes up but he will somehow magically recover to fully function at work.

I shake my head shifting my gaze to Jimin. He wasn’t nearly as affected by the alcohol as any of us. He was just leaned comfortably on the couch with his companions head laid on his chest watching the lights. He might not be unfiltered the way Tae was but I knew he wasn’t going home alone tonight.

Once I felt sober enough I help y/n up from her seat and say goodbye to them.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

After heading out the back entrance before the bar started clearing out, I walk her to my bike.

I wasn’t too drunk to drive it home and luckily I kept a spare helmet in the storage compartment hooked to the back of my bike. With one hand holding onto y/ns waist to steady her enough she doesn’t fall, I unlock the compartment and grab the helmet closing it back.

“Ok now you miss will need to sit in front of me so I can make sure you don’t fall off here.”

I help her sit on the bike with her legs swinging off to one side making sure her dress doesn’t lift. I feel a tug on my dark pants as I step back.

“Uh…” I start but see her eyes are closed when I look to her face.

Her bracelet was caught on the loop probably happened when I leaned over her to make sure she was on correctly.

She’s just there patiently waiting for me to take her away completely unaware of the current situation. Before I could let my mind drift off and acknowledge how peacefully cute she looked, I shake my thoughts away and untangle the bracelet ears hot from the weird placement.

I then place the helmet onto her head making sure the strap is secured. The helmet was a bit big but it would be enough to protect her if anything happened but I’d never let it.

I hop onto the bike behind her leaving just enough personal space between us. I loop my arms around her frame caging her in on both sides, grabbing the handles before setting the bike stand free with a kick, starting the engine it to go.

Her arms were rested on her lap. Which is not the best place for them as we have quite a lengthy ride to our destination.

“Before I take off completely you should hold on to something at least.” I say to her.

“…and you can lean back into me too if it makes you feel more secure.” I add with my nerves nearly taking over me.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Y/N

I felt warm and relaxed as I listen to JKs voice behind me. Just like the air was too…warm, so was the sound his vocal cords made while speaking. I hum in drunken satisfaction as I feel a breeze and follow his direction leaning back into his chest. I can feel his heart beating quickly but I’m not sober enough to question it. I hear him clear his throat, body stiffening slightly as I loop my hands around his waist for security as I was seated in a sort of cradle position in front of him and rest my head on his shoulder. His hands adjust their grip on the handles and I feel him relax a bit before he pulls away down the street back to our apartment building.

We arrive only 30 mins later entering the garage. The familiar wet rubbery smell engulfing my nose. I was nearly all the way asleep but as Jk puts down the break I feel the now cold air take over me as he strips away his warm body from mine bracing himself to climb off. I sit there pouting arms crossed with my eyes still closed refusing to move when I hear his chuckle. Only then did I open them.

“Did I disturb your nap?” He ask with this annoyingly attractive amused grin on his face.

I roll my eyes, sighing and slide off the bike slowly but surely. He takes my hand to steady me then reaches to unbuckle the big helmet on my head. I stare lazily at him as he does this studying his face as his brows furrow in focus. From his forehead to his lips and then…oh? The tiny mole underneath them on his chin. He finally gets it loose then lifts it from my head. I’m still staring at the mole because I can’t seem to get over how cute it was sitting there on his face. He looks at me confused. “Is there something on my face?”

I giggle and shake my head. “Nooo I’m just tired.” I lie and say knowing it didn’t make any sense to say.

He licks his lips looking into the reflection of the shiny black helmet before deciding to let it go before putting helmet away. Then we make our way to the elevator then up to the 6th floor. The elevator ride up was quiet and felt like it was going in slow motion as I lean against the wall closing my eyes again trying to take a quick nap until the door dings open.

“Mmmfh.” I groan and force myself from the wall that I wished was my bed. Jk was the first to exit the elevator watching me carefully as I make my way into the hallway. He doesn’t leave me to walk to my door alone and as I fumble over my feet, then with my purse for my keys he stands there patiently with his hands in his pocket. When it feels like ten years of searching blindly for them I pull them out and struggle to unlock the door. I feel his soft but slightly calloused hand on mine gently prying the key away and unlocking the door for me.

I turn to him. “Thanks.”

He bows slightly chewing his lip ring as he straightens himself. “Will you be alright getting yourself to bed?” He asks clearly concerned I would somehow injure myself on the way to my bed.

I give him a lazy smile as I step into my apartment. “I’ll be fine…good night Jungkook.” I said pronouncing his name correctly this time unlike the first time I’d said it. His face showed his appreciation for it before he steps away.

“Good night y/n.” He says before he turns to go the opposite end of the hall I close it once he’s opened his door and head towards my bed stripping away each layer of clothing as I do, deciding I could totally wash off my makeup in the morning as my head hits my pillow eyes closed for good tonight.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Thank you for reading 💜

xx JungkooksSnakebite xx

[cloudlessly-light]

The world was on fire and  no one could save me but you 2/3

Summary: Emily and Aaron get married, then divorce but do they find their way back to each other?                                                                       Chapter title: Love is never wrong   Rating: Explicit Word count: 4,5k Warnings: Smut, mentions of alcohol, mentions of death, fluff, angst

Ian Doyle comes back and he comes back with vengeance. She tries to fight it, tries to end it before the team gets involved. She shouldn’t have been surprised when it doesn’t work.

She meets him, cold from waiting on him, tense from the moment his hand touches her back. She used to shiver from excitement from his touch, now all she feels is hate. He looks at her with those blue eyes and she pictures death instead of the warm ocean and she feels bile rising in her throat.

“… here you are, all alone while Aaron sits at home with his son. Oh wait, that’s your son too, not biologically of course but I’ve seen the way he looks at you. It’s how Declan used to look at you as well.” The corner of his mouth lifts as he sees the panic on her face, a grim sneer as she clutches the empty cup harder in her hand, the paper crinkling.

“Come near my team, come near my family, and I will end you.” Her finger is on the trigger, she doesn’t care if someone would take her out the moment she fired. She couldn’t let him get close to Jack, nor Aaron. They had been through too much.

“I don’t have a quarrel with them, but,” Ian leans over the table and she backs away, the same sick grin on his face. “I’m going to take Jack away like you took Declan away from me. Not today, but soon.” He stands up and she feels paralyzed as she watches him walk away. She can’t shoot him she realizes, then she would be taken out before she had time to get Jack into safety and someone else would finish Ian’s vendetta for him. So instead she sits still, watches the retrieving form of Ian until he’s gone. She sits there for minutes after, staring in the general direction of where he disappeared.

She needed to protect them. Ian needed to die and so did the men working for him. She knew it was a suicide mission, but it would be worth it. For them.

She wants to tell Aaron, knows that she has to, but she doesn’t in fear of what he would do to Ian, what he would think of her, what Ian would do to him and Jack. If he knew, he’d go after Ian without a doubt and Emily couldn’t risk that. He had beaten a man do death once and as much as he pretended that that part of him didn’t exist, she knew he hated it, hated what he was capable of if pushed hard enough.

“Emily why don’t you just tell me what’s wrong?” He pleads with her after another fight, they had been doing that a lot these last few weeks.    

“Nothing is wrong.” She mutters through clenched teeth as she moves through the house with Aaron behind her.   

“You’ve been distant for weeks, you snap every chance you get, just talk to me!” He wants to shake her because she refuses to let him in.   

“The only thing that’s wrong is my husband not leaving me the fuck alone when I need it!” She yells back, turns so quick that he almost crashes into her. Her eyes are wide and dark, filled with something he doesn’t recognize and he sighs.    

“I need you to trust me.” He says it quietly and it breaks through her anger and instead fills her with regret.   

“And I need you to trust me.” She closes the distance between them and his forehead falls against hers gently as his eyes close. “I love you, but I can’t talk about this.” She’s lying to him and she hates herself for it. But it would be worth it, because the little boy asleep upstairs would be safe. 

“Why?” He wants to understand, wants to trust her enough to let her have this, but there is something holding him back, something that tells him that this is too dangerous to be left out of.   

“Please, please try and trust me.” She pleads and when he looks into her eyes he can see the unshed tears in them.   

“Okay.”    

Trusting Emily with this would become his biggest regret. He should have listened to his instincts and he would forever regret that he didn’t.   

 *

 She disappears in the middle of the case and everything in him tells him that she had planned for this. He finds her gun and badge in her desk drawer, looks around the bullpen in panic as the rest of the team spring into action. She was gone and no one had no idea how to find her.

The days without her feels longer, time moving agonizingly slow as they uncover more and more of Emily’s past, a past he didn’t know. A past she hadn’t trusted him enough to share. He felt frustrated, in the mist of worrying to the point of feeling nauseous, he was frustrated that she hadn’t told him, that this had been her life before him. Logically he knew it wasn’t Emily, that Lauren Reynolds wasn’t Emily, but logic was hard to come by when he felt like the woman he had fallen in love with wasn’t truly her.

He watches the footage of his wife throwing a flash grenade into a car and he doesn’t recognize the woman on the screen, it’s terrifying, seeing her this desperate and he wonders what Doyle had threatened her with. He feels his heart stop when he sees him shoot her twice, the sweat gathering on his forehead when Doyle pulls her into a sitting position, her vest blurry but there. The dread is back as quickly as it disappeared when he sees him hoist Emily into a car and driving away.

“How long does Emily have?” Penelope asks, voice laced with concern as she keeps her eyes on him.

“Her best chance is also the most troubling, Doyle views her as his stressor, and he will take his time.” He doesn’t recognize his voice, stiff and detached, a tone he hadn’t used to speak about and to Emily in years. When JJ squeezes his shoulder he shrugs it off. He didn’t have time to be Emily’s husband, he couldn’t let himself.

 *

 Emily can feel his touch even through the pain, through the fog of going in and out. His hand is warm as he holds her and she tries looking around. Someone is standing over her, she hears sirens, a blurry figure beside her, Aaron. She tries to smile but finds that she can’t, the small movement too much.

“I’m losing her!” She hears an unfamiliar voice call and Aaron’s hand tightens around hers. And then everything is black.

 *

 The next time she opens her eyes everything is brighter, calmer somehow even with the beeping of machines. His hand is still there, just as warm and comforting as it always had been, still holding hers.

“Aaron?” Her voice is barely above a whisper, scraped raw from the intubation tube that was now removed. Her eyes find his, the comfort she’s always felt in his eyes still there.

“I’m here.” He feels the tears in his eyes at her finally waking up, she’s barely alive, but she’s there..

“I’m sorry.” She squeezes his hand as tightly as she can. “I’m so sorry I had to.” Her eyelids feel heavy, she’s too tired to do anything but squeeze his hand.

“We’ll talk about it later sweetheart, you need to rest.” He kisses her forehead and before she knows it, she’s asleep again.

When she wakes again it’s JJ who’s beside her, her worried eyes trained on the brunette.

“Hi Em.” JJ says softly, like being too loud would somehow hurt her. She tries smiling but even through the drowsiness of the medications and sedatives running through her veins, Emily can tell that something is wrong.

“Where’s Aaron?”

“He’s coming back in a little bit.” She promises as Emily’s eyes dart around the room. “He had to get some things.”

“What things?” She sees the way JJ is looking at her and it makes her feel unease. She knows JJ almost as well as Aaron and she can tell that her best friend is hiding something from her.

“He’ll explain everything, okay?” JJ carefully clasps her hand in both of hers. “You’re alive, that’s all that matters.”

It wasn’t enough, it wasn’t all that mattered but she was too exhausted to try and argue with her. Her body was still in pain, what happened in the warehouse still a blur. JJ’s eyes fill with tears.

“You’re alive. I didn’t think you would be.”

“Neither did I.” She admits.

 *

 “What do you mean you faked my death?!” She’s stronger now, almost healed enough to move around by herself and she watches Aaron as he sits beside her.

“Until we get him, I need you safe.” He tries but Emily only scoffs at him. “Emily you don’t understand…”

“You’re sending me away! What about us? What about Jack?” Her voice cracks as tears fall from her eyes.

“You can’t be here, you need to go away. It’s already decided. I’ve already told them, JJ and I decided.” He can’t look at her, his body aching from everything he wants to tell her, meanwhile she looks at him with so much hurt that he doesn’t know how to handle it. He’s so angry at her for putting them through this, for making him do this, but he also knows that she thought there was no other way.

“I’m not going.”

“You have to.”

“What does this mean for us? What if you never get him?” She’s scared of his response, feels even more terrified when he doesn’t give her any. Instead he looks at her again, dark eyes clouded with emotions and she feels like she can’t breathe. “No…”

“We’ll give it a year.” He says then and winces as the first sob rocks her body. “If we haven’t found him by then… I’ll send the papers.” His own tears feel hot on his cheeks regret already filling him.

“I don’t want to live without you.” She tries and she sees his own heartache as she crumbles.

“You should have thought about that before deciding to deal with this on your own.” He hates himself as the words leaves his mouth but he needed her angry enough at him to go. She wouldn’t leave unless she hated him.

The words felt like a slap to the face and as much as she wants to scream at him, somewhere deep down she knows that he’s right. She ran, she didn’t tell him about her past even though he had asked, and now despite everything, Ian Doyle was still out there.

She leaves only a week later, the burn on her chest still hurting, the tears still falling from her eyes as JJ sits beside her silently. Everything hurts, but nothing hurts as much as her heart.

 *

 Seven months go by without her. Seven months of Jack going through grieving another parent. Seven months of lying to his team. Seven months without seeing or touching or hearing her.

It’s seven months of agony, of anger and regret and longing and Aaron wasn’t sure if he would be able to go on living like this. Living married but apart, pretending that she was gone. He only talked to JJ about it, felt connection with her as they both grieved the loss of a friend and a lover.

Emily spent the first few months barely even getting out of bed. She slept through sunny days and drank cheap French wine during the night. She tried to forget about everything she was missing, tried to push away every thought of Aaron and Jack as she wallowed in the bad choices she had made. She would  stare at herself in the mirror, scared and broken and she didn’t recognize what had become of her.

So she tires to get her life back, tries to focus on getting back to them. She trusts her team enough to know that they wouldn’t let Doyle go. She hopes every day for a phone call from Aaron to tell her to come back. But it doesn’t come. Seven months go by and she’s almost resigned herself to a life of living alone, but then Declan calls, the distress evident in his voice and she doesn’t care anymore. She had done all of this to protect Declan and Jack, she refused to have it been for nothing.

They manage to save Declan and Ian dies and it’s all over so quickly that it almost feels anticlimactic. She turns to Aaron, still holding Declan close as he meets her eyes and gives a nod.

Ian was dead but it was far from over.

He drives her to the hotel that she’s staying at later that night. He’s had trouble keeping his eyes off her since she returned, like his brain can’t fully comprehend that it’s really her. He isn’t sure that it is, this Emily different but still so similar to the woman he had fallen in love with.

“Do you want to come up?” She asks carefully. They had so much to talk about, so much to decide on but both knew that tonight wasn’t the night.

“Yes.” He smiles softly as he lets himself ignore everything he shouldn’t ignore and instead enjoy being with her. They didn’t know what would happen, but they had tonight and for now, that was more than enough. For tonight they would just be Aaron and Emily, a couple longing for each other.

Emily smiles at him, some resemblance of hope as she gets out of the car and Aaron follows her. He doesn’t touch her until they’re in the elevator, his fingers slowly brushing her hair away from her neck as he stands behind her. She shivers at his hot breath on the exposed skin, his body pressing into her back and she cranes her neck.

“Yes?” He asks, barely a whisper as his hands come around her and pulls her into his body.

“Yes.” She nods breathlessly and then his lips are on her neck, gentle kisses that make her immediately crave more. Her fingers tangle in his hair as she reaches around to pull him harder against her, his beard tickles the sensitive skin in a way that makes goosebumps erupt on her skin.

She turns in his arms and kisses him just as the doors open and they stumble into the hallway. She drags him with him toward the door, not getting enough of him. When her back collides with her door he pulls away with a breathless chuckle.

“I know you’re a little bit of an exhibitionist, but I don’t think I can fuck you in the hallway when there’s a bed literally ten feet away.”

She laughs through panting breaths as she fumbles with the keycard, his lips back on her neck distracting her as she faces away from him to get the door open. When she finally does she pulls him through it by a firm hold on his shirt. She hears the door slamming as she attacks his lips again, her hands tearing on his clothes.

He only breaks apart from her lips to pull his shirt over his head, watches as she throws her own on the floor before he kisses her again. He gets his pants off clumsily, followed by his boxers. Emily tugs her own pants and underwear down her legs and then lays facedown on the bed. She gives him a smile over shoulder as she unhooks her bra. She arches into his touch and gasps when he turns her body around effortlessly. She’s quick to wrap her arms around herself, the smile gone as she bit her lower lip. His eyes narrow when her arms cover her body, suddenly an unsure look on her face.

“Don’t hide them.” He tells her softly as he kneels on the bed beside her.

“I hate them.” She tries turning back on her stomach but his warm hand on her shoulder stop her. “Aaron, please.”

“Don’t hide them, don’t hide from me. Emily, it’s me.” He looks at her with such tenderness that she was afraid that she’d explode and she feels her resolve disappear. Slowly she lets her arms fall to the side and Aaron barely spares them a second glance. He had seen the damage done when she was in the hospital and as much as he hated the cause of them, the man that injured her, they were a part of her now.

“You’re beautiful.” He tells her before leaning down to kiss her again. He feels her relax into his kiss, into his touch as his hands stroke from her jaw, down her side and to her hip. She spreads her legs for him to lay in between them, her body soft and warm against his.

She doesn’t know how long they lay like that, kissing until they can’t breathe and hands slowly exploring skin. Then he pushes inside of her with a groan and she gasps at the stretch.

“I missed you so much.” She whispers into his neck as he starts moving, her emotions running high at the feel of him again.

“I’ve missed you every minute of every day.” He promises as his fingers intertwine with hers. She feels familiar, like something was finally right again and he groans against her lips.

Emily wraps her legs around his hips and moans when he hits deeper inside of her. Her fingers grip his as he makes her fall apart hard and quick, her body giving in to him in record time. She lets him turn them around until she’s straddling him once she’s come down enough for her limbs to work.

She kisses along his neck, down his chest, presses a kiss over his heart before planting her hands on his chest and starts to move above him. His hands move from her thighs, up her ribs and to her hips, his hands warm and secure in their touch.

He can’t keep his eyes off her as she circles her hips above him, clearly chasing her high for a second time. He sits up and kisses the noise of surprise away from her lips as her hips move harder against his.

“Come with me honey.” She whispers against his ear the term of endearment makes his heart swell.

“C-close.” He grunts as he pushes up against her, his hand gripping her hip harder. He buries his face in her neck and breathes her in, his lips and teeth nipping at the pale skin as she tenses in his arms.

Emily shudders through her release only moments before he lets go and comes with her name on his lips. They stay like that, lost in pleasure and each other until their breathing has returned to normal. When she climbs off his lap he’s quick to wrap himself around her.

“Now what?” She asks as her fingers plays with the hair on his arms.

“I don’t know.” He kisses the back of her neck. “I guess we sleep.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She turns to look at him and is faced with a sad smile.

“I know.”

 *

 She comes back to the BAU and nothing is the same. She works on her relationships within the team. Derek and Spencer are angry with her but she doesn’t blame them for that. So she puts in the work and slowly starts to mend all of her relationships and it works with everyone except Aaron.

After that first night he distanced himself, went back to treating her like she was a stranger, only this time she couldn’t get him to change his mind about her. She had broken his trust and except a single night of letting himself be with her, he refused to let her in. It made it hard for everybody, his short temper making everybody walk on eggshells around him.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” Emily tells Dave sadly one night after Aaron had snapped at her once again.

“Just try and talk to him, don’t give up yet Bella.” The older man squeezes her shoulder and she knows that as much as he wants them to work it out, she doesn’t think they can.

 *

 It’s another month before things finally erupt between them. He had been curt, bordering on aggressive as a case ended in the worst way possible. She had tried to calm him down but it only seemed to make him angrier. The plane ride home was quiet and tense and with only nods of goodbye, the team all went home to rest for the night. Everybody except Aaron and Emily.

She followed him into his office, desperate to try and mend something that was way beyond broken.

“Please just talk to me.” She reaches for him but he moves back like her touch would burn him.

“I can’t talk to you. I don’t even know who you are.” He still can’t bring himself to forgive her, can’t even look at her for more than a few seconds. He wants to, he wants more than anything to be able to forgive and forget, but how could he after the year they’ve had?

“Just tell me how to fix this.” She pleads with him as he paces.

“You can’t fix this Emily, you can’t expect everything to just go back to how it used to be!”

“Aaron I don’t…”

“Emily I can’t do this anymore!” He throws his hands up in anger, something feeling like it’s finally snapped. “I don’t trust you so I can’t do this.”

“I did what I had to for Jack’s safety!” She defends, her own voice rising and she’s thankful that they’re alone in the office. “I couldn’t have let him get away!”

“And yet he did! And you almost died and I had to lie to everyone for months!”

“And who’s fucking idea was that Aaron?!”

“Don’t.” His tone was suddenly venomous as he stared at her. “Don’t go there Emily. I had to watch Jack grieve another mother because you chose not to tell me.”

“I couldn’t tell you…” She forced the tears away at the mention of Jack, of the hurt she had put him through.

“You could have! You decided not to because you didn’t trust me.” His fist hits the wall in frustration and she can’t remember a time ever seeing him so angry at her. “You thought that I would judge you for your relationship with Doyle, you should have known me enough to know that I would never have done that. You’re not Lauren, I don’t know that woman.” He quiets down for a moment and inhales, his body deflating as the anger subsides and all that is left is hurt. “Maybe I don’t know you either.” His eyes fall to the floor as his head hangs lower.

“Aaron…” She doesn’t know what to say, can’t believe that this is the mess she had caused. She took a few steps closer to him and he doesn’t move away. Her hand lands on his cheek and he looks back at her. “It’s me, it’s always been me. Please.” She ignores the tears that are falling freely. He’s slipping away from her and she knows that there’s nothing she can do.

“It’s too late.” His own tears wet her hand as he gives in to everything he’s feeling but still not quite believing the words that are about to fall from his lips. “I want a divorce.”

 *

 She doesn’t fight him any more after that, lets him draw up papers and hands him her rings still on her finger while using all her political training to not show how much she’s hurting. It’s so simple, a signature on a piece of paper and she was no longer Emily Prentiss Hotchner, but simply Emily Prentiss. It didn’t feel right anymore, she feels more lost than ever.

But then Clyde Easter shows up with something new, a blessing. She knew she couldn’t stay at the BAU, the rest of the team knew that as well. It was too hard for them and they didn’t deserve that. She doesn’t need to think about it, moving to London felt like the next step and as much as she didn’t want to leave DC, she couldn’t do this anymore and she knew that Aaron couldn’t either.

She tells him before anybody else and is not surprised that he looks relieved as well as sad.

“I think this is what’s best.” She tells him as they sit in Dave’s backyard, the backdrop of JJ and Will’s wedding forcing them to remember their own wedding day.

“This is a great step for you.” His voice is void of any emotion, but she had always been able to read him and he knew that she could tell that he was upset that she would be leaving. “We will all miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” She looks away from him as she tries to get a grip of her emotions but his warm hand suddenly holding hers makes her eyes snap back to him.

“I will miss you. Every day.” His eyes are so soft and genuine that she feels her resolve crumble. “Just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean I still don’t love you.” It’s the first time in months he’s talked to her like she’s more than a distant memory and she feels her heart ache.

“Aaron, please don’t.” She shakes her head as she tries to keep herself from breaking down completely. “You know that I love you, but I can’t have this conversation.” She stands up and her hand slips from his grasp. “I need to tell the others.”

 He comes to her apartment the morning she’s leaving. He knocks on her door and offers her a sad smile and she forces herself to smile back.

“Can I please drive you to the airport?”

“I already called a cab.”

“Please.” He begs and she can’t deny him the simple request. She nods and he hugs her close the moment she agrees. He breathes in the smell of her as he lets himself feel her body, the comfort of Emily for what could possibly be the last time.

“I’ve really made a mess of things.” She whispers as she hugs him back just as tightly. She doesn’t let go, would be content to stand like that with him for hours.

“We both made mistakes.” He tells her and then pulls back to look at her. “It was just too much for us to fix.”

“Yeah.” She nods and takes his hand. “I’ll always love you Aaron. Please don’t think that I didn’t.”

“I know that. I’ll always loved you too. How could I not, you saved me Em. More times than one.” His hand squeezes hers before letting go and instead he grabs one of her bags. “We should get going.”

When the plane takes off, he’s still in his car hoping that they had made the right decision and wishing that they could take it all back.

[feltpool]

George

I had planned to post more about this as I built it, but dealing with a sick cat ate up a lot of my time and enthusiasm so I didn’t.

But lately I have mostly been building this behemoth:

Look at his ‘lil leggies

And feets! (They’re SO solid and heavy)

And terrible lighting his big long legs - 17 inches from floor to top, like the supermodel that he is.

(Ignore that I could no longer photograph him lying on his back because his feet are too weighty to support that - AT-AT’s just aren’t designed to lie on their backs kicking their feet. Who knew?, and that his knees are pointing in the wrong direction here because I lost track of which end was the front in the excitement of playing with the adjustable leg positioning. The white handled tool between his feet is the leg adjustment screwdriver)

Somewhere amongst the hundreds of tiny blue technic pins that hold all those outer facade plates on there are some holes where there shouldn’t be, because I have 2 more pins leftover than I should have. But unless something actually falls off I’m not about to go back through the build to find out where I managed to leave them out.

And onto the ‘body’

Some really nice, neat design work going on here to get the right shaping angle for the body without looking awkward and also being really secure.

The top floor locks down with a simple, if fiddly, bit of design which holds it in place securely without adding bulk.

Jo, Flo, and Ho get to just sit there while the build happens around them. They know better than to ask questions.

Flexible and adjustable neck added.

Not a minifigure useable tunnel unfortunately, but it supports the weight of the ‘head’ while remaining flexible and moveable, which is pretty damn impressive tbh!

Shapely butt too.

Got the engine and the outer structural shaping done. There’s a lot of detail that goes into the engine for something that you can’t access very well once the exterior technic framework fits into place.

Seems like a bit of a shame. Ah well.

There’s a ladder running between the two floors, btw. Just in case you were curious.

Now the head. Well, most of it at least (no side panels yet)

Open it up and there are the people!

It’s a tight space inside, but they can see where they’re going on their little screen.

Now it has side panels and moveable weapons.

Fearsome!

And the outer armour is complete!

Lets lift the flaps (like on a toddler book) and see what’s underneath.

Troopers on patrol. Busy guarding that one E-Web heavy repeating blaster.

And snowspeeders on their storage racks, with the engine on the top floor

Technically you can also open the flap at the other end, but all you see is trooper seating and the end of the (non-functional) tunnel through the neck.

Add on a dangly Luke Skywalker for the authentic ‘AT-AT on Hoth’ experience and this build is almost complete

It just needs its sign

Which doubles up as leg adjustment tool storage.

All I need now is a whole bunch of these:

if I ever decide I want to fill my AT-AT with the full complement of 40 troopers and fill those empty snow speeder racks on the other side

But for now I’ve settled for 3 (on a buy 2 get 1 free deal)

.

This is a HUGE set. 6785 pieces (about 1/5 of that is connector pins), 6kg when complete, and standing 25 inches high (if all the legs are fully straightened out) so it comes with a hefty price tag.

(Well, it does when the store haven’t knocked a couple of hundred pounds off for May 4th and you have a whole lot of store vouchers. Husband only paid £34.99 for it cash wise. Total bargain! :D )

But is it worth it?

Yes. Absolutely worth it, this is an amazingly well designed Lego set with a fantastic amount of attention to detail. I can only imagine the time and effort it must have taken to get this set so accurate to the original in visual terms while also scaling it to fit the 40 troopers it’s supposed to be able to hold as well as having space for cargo and speeders.

The legs being able to support the weight of the build while still being positionable and not losing stability must have been a design nightmare all by itself.

The only real downside is working out where I’m going to keep him now he’s built

.

So why George?

Blame it on a childhood spent watching Looney Tunes cartoons and the message my husband left on my wedding anniversary present.

What can I say? The name stuck. He’s George now.

[somediyprojects]

The Tapestree Project is a memory cloth/tapestry stitched and designed by Rachel Samek (née Piso). This is an ongoing project in which she documents her life in cross-stitch. She stitches memories, current events, and anything that especially interests her. She keeps an online journal to recount why she chose certain motifs. The tapestree is stitched on 45ct. ivory Graziano linen with a range cotton embroidery thread. The cloth measures about three feet wide by two feet high.

[Reddit | Blog | Instagram | Facebook | Tumblr | Twitter]

Descriptions under the cut.

pics 1 & 2— I stitched these little gold scissors this week to remember the foggy, intense few months immediately following the birth of my boys. If you knew me around that time, you know that when I was just about 7 months pregnant, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and received an emergency C-section at 31 weeks. All three guys were incredibly tiny (Charlie was 2 lb 12 oz) and as expected, they would go on to spend long (long, long) stretches in the NICU. Also expectedly, I was a wild mess. I was spending long days at the hospital in the middle of winter, feeling powerless, and as a result, I was killing myself trying to pump enough to keep up with three infants. During those delirious nights of waking up every few hours, I would collapse in front of Hulu (probably rewatching The Handmaid's Tale) and Hulu would do what Hulu did best: repeat the exact same commercial every 20 minutes. During those first weeks, that commercial was a trailer for the upcoming horror movie "Us." The score of the two-minute trailer is so unsettling that even though I would sometimes scramble to switch it off, it was also weirdly comforting to be shocked out of my weepy, helpless state of zombiehood. This came with the price of scaring myself shitless when I had to walk back to bed at 3 AM with the slowed-down, beefed up version of "I Got 5 On It" on repeat in my head. These scissors, a symbol from the movie, represent those weird, difficult postpartum nights. Whenever I hear the first few chords from the trailer, I'm immediately back in 2019, freezing cold on our old couch, fully panicked at life.

pics 3 & 4— I added more hairwork to my tapestree! Last fall, I cross stitched a tiny design using my boys’ hair. I tried again this weekend, using my own hair to make this equally tiny bird. One of the questions I get a lot with this project is whether I get burned out working on the same thing for so long. Yes, I get sick of it, mostly due to the pressure I put on myself to include things (like current events) out of obligation. This bird was one way to bring “me” back into it. If you know anything about the Victorians, you know that they loved crafting with hair. One way was braiding a lock and placing it in a book with a poem underneath—creating an ode to a person’s essence. Since it was fashionable to be sentimental, they made similar keepsakes as jewelry and other textile art. I’ve talked in the past about how much of a nightmare it is working with hair, but if you’re interested in seeing my process, you can find a highlight on my page that covers my last attempt. I also included a picture of the back of my stitching (first time ever!) so you can see the ridiculous knot it creates.

pics 5-7— I have a new tapestree addition! It's the weird little quilt at the very bottom! I have a bin in our basement with a bunch of the boys' preemie onesies. I have plans to make a quilt with them, but since that probably won't happen for another 20 years, I wanted to add something small to my tapestree. Half of the quilt blocks are snipped from the clothes with patterns that have the strongest memories of the boys being in the hospital (the white parts are fabric, for example). The rest is filled in with solid cross stitch. It's been a crazy few weeks! I recently started working full time again (from home, fortunately!) and we're starting to plan the boys' third birthday on December 14th. I can't believe it.🤍

[aching-tummies]

Stuffed to Starving

Everyone talks about 'Starving to Stuffed'. I think I just flipped the script.

We made rice congee for dinner last night. I'd gotten my fill after eating my one bowl. Congee is warm and kinda thick, so it fills me up for a while. I usually only eat enough of it to tide me over for about 2-4 hours (not just congee, but for every meal nowadays). Well, other family members went at it and after everyone had served themselves they were all like, "Oh hey, there's literally only one bowl left. Finish it and we'll put the pot in the dishwasher." So I ended up scraping the thicker last-bowl outta the pot and having to power through another helping.

I knew I had over-done it when I started feeling groggy soon after finishing. I ended up taking a 20-40 minute nap on the living room floor. I'd lain down to find some way to apply pressure to my bloated gut and I found it on the floor. Lying on my front was impossible, my stomach complained and ached badly from too much pressure so I ended up on my side. My stomach churned away for a while and I ended up nodding off.

I woke up and my stomach felt even more bloated than before. The double helping of congee had pushed me passed 'Full'. Not quite completely 'stuffed', but my stomach was definitely straining around more food than I usually let it have all at once.

About nine hours after that, it was 3AM. In that time I had gone to my room, done a few things on the computer, and geared down for bed. I'd slept for a couple of hours but I woke up around 3AM. My stomach felt the same as it had after the 20 minute nap. It felt like absolutely nothing had digested or moved at all in that time period. My disgruntled guts were exhausted, having been suspended in a 'too full' state for hours and hours. I couldn't go back to sleep with the mess swirling in-place in my stomach. It felt like it wanted to gurgle, to snarl and move stuff along, but none of that was happening and there were no gurgles. All that discomfort and no noises? For shame, stomach!

More sleep was a lost cause at that point so I sat up, pulled up a movie on my laptop, plugged in my headphones, and for the entire two hours or so I just sat back and watched, both of my hands pressed against my stomach, giving the occasional rub. What I wouldn't give to have had a partner giving me a deeper massage in that moment.

Movie ends, my stomach has settled only slightly. It still feels 'too full', but the sickly ache has quelled just a little. I put my laptop away and curl up on my side, shoving a pillow under my side to apply continual pressure to my stomach.

Four hours later, I wake up again. A new sensation has griped my stomach like a vice. Tightness. Not like something inside pressing out...something inside feels like it is being compressed.

I roll onto my back, toss the pillow I had applying pressure, and I start assessing my guts, running my hands over my stomach and trying to map out what's going on.

I think...I'm hungry...?

The mass of congee has finally left my stomach. It's spread throughout my intestines, but I guess it was a large and uncomfortable amount for my stomach, but not so when spread out across so much intestine...but the upper half of my digestive tract (where I'd be experiencing hunger anyway) is finally blissfully empty.

There's a lot of those sensations like there's a growl building...but I've been rubbing and prodding at my stomach for over an hour and a half now, trying to make it growl, and nothing is happening.

If I can, I'll try and avoid eating until I get to enjoy some nice growls...but it better hurry up because family will get suspicious if I stay in my room too long. Again, wishing for a partner to wail on my guts and manipulate it to make all this crap go much faster. If I had a partner working on it, I doubt I would have experienced 'too full, gonna feel sick' for over 11 hours.

[anzu2snow]

I’ve been busy for a good chunk of the day. Didn’t think I would be. My palliative care doctor called at around 10am. He didn’t like that Movantik was denied by my insurance. I think it was because it says it’s for people who don’t have cancer related pain, and I do. He decided to try the med they suggested instead. He said if that doesn’t work we’ll try for Movantik again. Sometimes insurances will approve of it after a second time, and if you tried what they suggested.

We talked about getting off of dexamethasone. I’m taking 0.75mg at the moment. On Monday, I’ll switch to 0.5mg. He said 2 weeks after that I can either stop it or try to cut the 0.5mg tablets in half for another 2 weeks. I’m thinking of doing the cutting in half thing. He said if I didn’t cut them in half the only other option would be to get it in liquid form. It apparently tastes nasty. I’m ok with trying to cut it in half. They’re scored so it should be easy. The problem is I don’t have enough to do this with. So, he ordered more.

Got a notification later that it’s at the Poulsbo pharmacy. There’s many reasons why getting it through the mail is better. A while back, I sat in their waiting room for meds, and they got upset. They read that I had cancer and worried that I was going to get sick while waiting there. They gave me the meds while I was back in the car. So, I called the Poulsbo pharmacy, had to wait 15 minutes, and they changed it to a mail order. Waited so long just for that…

After talking to Dr. Slack (around 11am), my home aide came to help me with a shower. She got soaked because apparently my shower head was gushing all over the place. (Not just from the head area.) It sprayed around the room, too. I probably need a new one. Another added thing. She put my pants on some dust at one point. Got some on it, which made me feel a little dirty afterwards. She thinks I need a wider sock aid to get them on better. My OT had mentioned that I should put duct tape over the black part. Maybe that has to do with it.

After getting dressed, she helped me with my ‘wounds’. Those wounds are where my legs meet up with the rest of my body. They bleed if I touch them, and are painful. (Feels like I was sliced up.) They have to be wiped with gauze to get dry, then there’s a special anti-fungal powder to put on it. They don’t really know if it’s fungal. They don’t really know what it is. I can’t do the gauze and powder myself. I would have to have like 3 hands to do it. I do help with it when she does it. Without my help, she wouldn’t be able to do it either.

I had accidentally made my social worker’s visit happen at the same time as my shower. I forgot that I get showers every Monday and Thursday. Too many things to keep track of. I was told that my social worker would just wait in her car until my shower stuff (plus dressing up, and the wound care) was done. She came at around 11:20am. We talked about a lot of things. In fact, she was here until around 12:40pm. Longer than I thought it’d be.

She brought up a cancer grant. She thinks it might be for $500. There’s also a cleaning service where people with cancer get 2 free house cleanings. It could be the whole house, or just the rooms where I go to the most. That would be handy. I haven’t filled out the Access bus application. Next time we might go through it together, and she could get somebody like Dr. Slack to sign off on it. She thinks I’m eligible for it. She wants me to decide on an Apple Watch. We talked about me getting one before. She wants me to have something with fall detection. I’m just unsure of which one to choose. She said they have a bereavement counselor I can talk to about my mom. I might do that, I don’t know.

She asked if the Blue Bills finally called. They did, and my parent was able to talk to them as well. They’re going to put up grip bars around my shower area, ramps on the steps (there are 2 steps coming off of the front porch, another 2 that lead to the driveway, and 4 that come from the house down to the garage), railings along the steps, tightening up the garage railing, and adding another railing over the stairs inside. Quite a few things they’ll do. We’re also getting 2 toilets that are chair height. Might get arms for them, too. A lot of this was recommended by my OT.

[anangelforsure]

Good Omens 2 thoughts (long, spoilers)

First of all just generic thoughts (so tumblr hopefully doesn’t put any blatant spoilers on display.)

Oh my god. Incredible. It’s amazing just to see Crowley and aziraphale again. Their dynamic is wonderful, as an ace person they really resonate with me in the way they express affection. Gabriel without his memory is so cute it’s wild to compare that to his awfulness in season one. The three major new characters are delightful, Muriel is so sweet, Maggie and nina obviously mirror a and c which makes for some amusing moments. The mystery is intriguing, the flashbacks add a lot of depth to everything, i feel like we get to know aziraphale a lot better in this season. Obviously they more or less go together, as always, but my first impression is that I learned a lot about him.

*spoilers start here*

More specifically, we get a lot of insight into the way heaven keeps their grip on our angel. We see Crowley deciding to ‘ask some questions’ before he falls, and aziraphale clearly already knows it’s trouble. Through the flashbacks to the time of Job, we see how brutal heaven is, playing with human lives for a bet. Az hates it but is too afraid to say anything out of line. To be totally honest he struck me as kind of annoying my first time seeing season one due to his undying loyalty to heaven, but over time rewatching that and seeing season two I realize that it’s not entirely his fault, he’s indoctrinated, heaven is like a cult, threatening terrible punishment for those who dare question authority. It’s awfully awkward since he’s paired with Crowley who has been through it with both heaven and hell and rejected taking either side because he knows how they are. The continuing theme through the flashbacks of az insisting that heaven is “the good guys” despite seeing the complexity of human morality many times makes the ending all the more painful. As soon as the metatron appears and the music changes in episode six, im filled with a sense of dread. Aziraphale never fully acknowledged that heaven is wrong with their actions or stated that he isn’t on their side. Crowley has been on his own side (“our side”) for a very long time, but he ‘goes too fast’ for aziraphale. I’ve seen a lot of people shitting on az for this, but come on we’ve spent two whole seasons watching him wrestle with inner conflict as he knows heaven isn’t what they claim to be, but he truly believes things can get better because he is purely good in a tragically naive way. Good people do bad things and hurt people they love sometimes, and both of them are horrible at communicating. Az is afraid to commit to something new, falling back into familiar ways when posed with a decision, Crowley rarely shares how he feels instead opting to be mean and make jokes (up until the end of course) anyways. You know it’s going nowhere good when there’s only ten minutes left and the music isn’t happy… I was absolutely shocked at the way it went down though. I feel sick to my stomach with the music and aziraphales interrupting Crowley trying to confess.. every word from az’s mouth makes it worse as we know there’s no hope for him to see sense at this point. My heart STOPS and I can barely register what’s happening at the moment of crowley’s “we could’ve been US” I almost question if I’m dreaming, if this is somehow a joke or fanfiction. I’m simultaneously elated and horrified at what I’m watching it’s beautiful. The entire credits rolling as a and c silently hold back tears on either side of my screen.. delightful,,heartbreaking,, unexpected. Such a bold move, A terrible terrible way to end a season but also the best thing I’ve ever seen. 10/10

[ma5ey]

G Adventures South America: Day 14 - Refugio Amazonas

// March 24th, 2011

Well, there’s a first time for everything. And, while I sit here by candlelight, surrounded by mosquito netting, writing this post about today’s journey deep into the Amazon Forest, I can safely say this is a new first for me.

About Last Night...

When I signed off last night after a HUGE and memorable day wandering the ruins of the breathtaking Machu Picchu, I should have been tucked away in bed in our cosy hostel in Cusco. Due to some recent pretty heavy rain and resultant landslides, however, we were still anxiously waiting in the tourist town of Aguas Caliantes along with hundreds of others, stranded while the train tracks somewhere between Machu Picchu and Cusco were cleared.

Julio, our G Adventures guide was a superhero by the end of the night, dealing with all of us tired, cranky and somewhat tipsy (bar hopping to fill time will do that to a person) as well as doing his best to wheel and deal our way onto any next departing train.

We eventually did get aboard a train at around 1am after some pretty crazy pushing, shoving and running to grab a seat, and after that it was all a bit of a blur as we did our best to get any amount of sleep possible.

Somewhere along the way, out in the middle of nowhere, we all disembarked and transferred to a small bus which carried us the rest of the way back to “Hostel Corihausi". Again, a super human effort from Julio getting everyone conscious and vertical long enough to get us all off the train, considering our sleep-deprived, zombified states of being.

And here’s where the fun really started for me. Considering today was our first day in the Amazon, I was all scheduled to start a course of “Doxycycline” anti-Malaria tablets last night. My tablets were in baggage storage at the hostel in Cusco so the only thing I could do was take them as soon as we returned this morning. As instructed, the first dosage was a double one (2 tablets). The instructions also call for the tablets to be taken with meals. I was soon to find out why not obeying this suggestion was a bad idea.

With our flight out of Cusco and into the Amazon but a few hours away, I took the Doxycycline tablets (on an empty stomach), organised some washing and jumped straight into bed in an attempt to grab a couple of hours of dead-to-the-world slumber before having to pack and leave again.

After having dozed off for no more than say 25 minutes, I awoke to what I can only describe as the most intense heartburn I think I’ve ever had the misfortune to endure. To all those people who have had coronary episodes that took the form of severe indigestion-like symptoms… I think I know where you’re coming from…

DOXYCYCLINE 1 – ROB 0

All I could do was throw up violently, guzzle a LOT of water and try to go back to sleep. Needless to say, by the time I was packed and heading back out to the airport with our reduced group, participating in the Amazon trip, I was no better off in the sleep department. Not a great start to the day.

Rainforest Expeditions

A short flight north-east from Cusco to the town of Puerto Maldonado and we found ourselves in the super warm and muggy surroundings of the Amazon Forest. Talk about a surreal experience. Yesterday, the cool, oxygen-starved Inca Trail through the Andes mountains, and today, the sweaty, humid Amazon Forest.

I rarely ever get sick – maybe once a year if I’m really unlucky, but when I do, it’s usually at the turn of the seasons when temperatures vary greatly from one day to another. It’s like my body freaks out and shuts down in protest. So far I feel fine (despite this mornings little episode), but considering the vast difference in atmospheres and temperatures I’m now experiencing, I’m a little nervous at how the next few days are going to go.

But I digress...

Arriving in Puerto Maldonado, we were met by our local “Rainforest Expeditions” guide, Johan. He collected us all from the baggage carousel of the airport terminal and escorted us out to the company bus waiting in the parking lot for us.

Climbing aboard, we had no sooner taken our seats when we were each presented with our own basket of rainforest snacks including salted banana chips (A-MAZING), brazil nuts and a native orange which was messy to eat, but delicious.

As we demolished our culinary gifts in a fashion that would have suggested we hadn’t eaten all day (which for some of us was the truth), Johan introduced us to the rest of his crew and explained that we were on our way to a port where we would transfer to a long boat and cruise up river to our accommodation – “Refugio Amazonas”.

Once at the port, we had the opportunity to stretch our legs, purchase snacks and drinks, visit the loo, chase around some chickens and generally stretch our legs a little before heading down to the river to board our next form of transport.

With a good 3-4 hour river journey ahead of us, all we could do after doning our life vests was grab a position on the wooden benches that lined the sides of our long boat, and try to get comfortable. Johan, meanwhile, ran through a few safety notes including providing us with reassurance that, should we end up in the drink for whatever reason, we were likely more at danger from camen alligators than from flesh-stripping piranha. Reassuring indeed. Thanks Johan.

Next, we were each handed another unique snack – this time a gourmet rice of some kind served wrapped in a large banana leaf. Yum! The meal certainly kept us quiet for the first quarter hour or so as we headed off along the muddy waters of the river, deep into the Amazon!

Over the next couple of hours we had plenty of time to sit back and observe the vastness of the country we were in as thick forest after thick forest passed us by on the river bank. The increasing feeling of isolation was broken up from time-to-time by the rare passing of other boats and by the odd roughly constructed mud hut that appeared on the banks.

An abundance of wildlife is something I’m obviously keenly interested in seeing throughout this short visit into the Amazon. And while we didn’t see all that much with our naked eyes on the river this morning, we sure as hell could hear a massive amount of critters all around us, even over the top of the boat’s motor. There’s absolutely no doubt that the forest is alive with activity and I couldn’t wait to hit land and check it all out.

A couple of hours into our river journey and we were required to dock at a small checkpoint where we registered our entry into the “Tambopata” region and received some pretty cool stamps in our passport validating our visit to this amazing part of Peru. I wasn’t aware that you were allowed to stamp your passport with anything other than official country entry and exit stamps, but I was soon assured that it was all above board, so I jumped in line and got my passport inked!

It was here at the checkpoint that we all got out first close up glimpse of some Amazon wildlife as the trees above rustled with the playful movement of a couple of monkeys of some kind. It seemed to trigger a run of good luck for us as, over the next couple of hours on the river we saw more monkeys playing in the forest canopy and also a family of capybara foraging the muddy shoreline.

My camera simply doesn’t have the telephoto power to capture such sights with amazing clarity (damn you Peruvian thieves!!), but here’s a shot I captured of the capybara.

A pretty nondescript set of old wooden stairs leading up the muddy bank from the river’s edge and into the forest was all that marked our arrival at home for the next couple of nights – "Refugio Amazonas".

Considering none of us really knew what we were in for over the next couple of days in terms of accommodation and activities etc, exiting the boat and heading along the muddy trail into the forest was pretty exciting in itself.

The unknown soon presented itself as we entered a clearing and set our eyes, for the first time, on the amazing “Rainforest Expeditions Lodge” like an oasis at the end of a lush, leafy green desert (or something), with its high pitched hardwood frame and just all-around awesomeness.

Needless to say, with available light starting to fade, cameras were quickly whipped out and everyone captured the memory of coming across this amazing construction in the middle of nowhere.

Seated in the bar area, Johan gathered us all around, introduced us to some of the lodge staff and tossed up the idea of heading out on an evening activity. We were all pretty tired after our hellishly long night last night and a long day of river travel today, so we passed on the idea, opting to push the activity to tomorrow evening.

Instead, we opted for the opportunity to settle into our amazing individual rooms, and enjoy a few cold beers set amongst our amazing new surroundings. This was followed up by a surprisingly decadent buffet dinner that left each and every one of us well and truly satisfied.

And that brings me full circle to now. In my much needed cage of mosquito netting, scribbling away by candlelight wondering what the heck it is that’s nestling and rustling away in the walls above me. To be honest I don’t really care. I feel oddly safe on the bed here and now I think it’s time to try the ol’ sleep thing, assuming the creature (whatever it is), that’s just started screaming out there to my right, gives it a rest soon.

Wish me luck!

Links & credits:

All images // Rob Masefield

Hostel Corihausi // corihuasi.com

Refugio Amazonas // rainforestexpeditions.com

[survey--s]

372.

Are there any specific things you have to do every night before you go to bed? Yeah, I definitely have a bedtime routine lol. I sort everything out downstairs - so that means giving the dog his tea/letting him out, filling the water bowls if necessary, emptying my wax burner and picking a new scent for the next day, putting all the blankets etc. away, tidying up any rubbish and washing any dishes, then brushing my teeth, peeing and getting my stuff sorted for next day before getting in bed.

When you're in a relationship, do you like a lot of space, or do you prefer to talk to them as much as possible? Nowadays I prefer lots of space, but in the past I’ve been quite clingy and in all honesty, it caused a lot of problems. 

When you go to the zoo, what enclosure do you head to first? I tend to just work my way around, but I always spend the most time near the penguins, elephants and tigers.

When you get sick, are you a "good patient" or do you tend to complain about it a lot? I just like to be left alone when I’m sick - I’ll sleep, watch TV or just relax on the sofa. I’m not good if people keep fussing over me though.

When the power goes out when you're on the computer, what do you tend to do instead? Mess about on my phone instead, or read a book.

Do you buy DVD's, or do you prefer watching them online for free? I haven’t bought a DVD for years lol. I just use Netflix or whatever these days.

When was the last time one of your parents was angry with you? Why? Years ago probably. I don’t live with my parents so they have no business getting angry with me lol.

How long have your parents left you in the house by yourself for? I mean...I don’t live at home lol but when I was living there, 2-3 weeks at a time when they went on holiday.

How old were you when your parents started letting you stay home alone? Uh, probably around 9-10 years old for short periods, but once I turned 12 I spent the whole of the school holidays home alone, pretty much.

Do your parents let people of the opposite sex sleep over in your room? They did once I turned eighteen, but I was allowed to sleep around their houses before that age which made absolutely no sense to me, lol.

If you wake up during the night, what do you do when you can't get back to sleep again? Mess about on my phone.

Do you have enough credits to change your Xanga username? Would you change it if you could? Ha, I remember those days of saving credits. I did change it a few times.

Have you ever suffered from insomnia, or from some other type of sleep disorder? Yeah, definitely. I either struggle to fall asleep or to stay asleep during the night. Could you cope sharing a room with someone who snored? Mike snores. It’s a real PITA but I have no choice - we only have one bedroom and there’s no way I could sleep on the sofa.

Do any parts of your body crack a lot? My back, neck and toes. Do you have all your wisdom teeth through yet? Have you ever had one taken out before? I have two left and two have been removed.

Do you prefer curly or straight hair when it comes to your preferred sex? Curly hair.

Do you enjoy thunderstorms, or do you still find it all a bit scary? I love them so long as I’m not outside in them.

What's your ideal type of weather? Do you get that weather a lot where you live? Blue skies, sunshine and around 16-18 degrees with a breeze is perfect. We do get it a fair bit, mainly around April and September.

If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself at home, or do you pay to go to the hairdresser and get it done professionally? I do it myself at home.  What household chore do you not mind doing? Vacuuming, laundry. Would you say you ate a healthy diet, or do you eat a lot of junk food and unhealthy snacks? Hmm, I’d say it’s probably 50/50.

Do you find you tend to get sick when you're stressed out about something? I get anxious and I lose my appetite when I’m stressed, yes.

What do you do with your hair when you can't be bothered to style it properly and need to go somewhere? Just tie it up in a messy bun.

What's your favourite film from the last five years? I have no idea what’s come out in the last five years, really. I never go to the cinema anymore. When you're on the computer, do you listen to music or watch TV more often? I have the TV on pretty much all the time.

Do you have any snacks in your room for when you get hungry? What? No, I don’t eat in the bedroom really.

[marctheshark9]

Rain showers bring flowers. January, February, March and April, were tough. May and June were filled with highs and lows, but growth isn’t all smiles and rainbows. There’s pain and suffering. They’re accompanied by loneliness and constant worry. You are not alone, God is with you. Seek him and he will guide you through the showers and to your flowers. 

I started writing this on May 10th. I thought I was going to be done by June 1st, but my laptop charger broke. I couldn’t work like I wanted to. My deadline is July 1st. Yesterday was hella busy so I’m dropping right now on July 2nd.

Plans change, but my goals remain the same. I want wealth, health, and security in all aspects. Freedom is what I’m after. I will have complete control of my schedule. I will go on vacation when I want. I will be able to go to all my son’s events and everywhere else I’m invited. I’ve missed out on so many weddings, birthday trips and other things cause my pockets were tight. I will have complete financial freedom in the next few years. I’ll be able to afford everything I want and need. 

People grow together and grow apart. Last year at this time my relationship was about to start. We had no idea what was about to happen. It almost came to an end, but we’re working and growing together. Also, we’re growing separately to become the best versions of ourselves.

 Things were rough at the top of the year. Now things are looking swell. I got a new job and a new car. On top of all that my son lives with me full-time. These are the flowers I was speaking of and they’re beautiful. I prayed for all these things for over a year. I spent countless nights with negative emotions. Dark thoughts crossed my mind, but God’s timing is perfect. Every time I thought I couldn’t make it God came through in the clutch.

In early January I got my cyst removed. This isn’t the first time I’ve had the procedure done. It was the first time I got it done like this. They numbed my head, but it was still painful. It wasn’t unbearable, but I felt the pressure of the doctor pushing and pulling inside of my head. It was gruesome. Blood dripped down my forehead and on to my California fishing shirt. I remember looking to the left and seeing a large pile of bloody napkins. I had to wear the head bandage for a couple days and I was out of work for 2 weeks. 

I bounced back strong, but I wasn’t prepared for this next hurdle. In late January my Uncle Leroy died. My maternal grandfather died in late October. I’m still recovering from that. People who really know me know how much they meant to meant to me. I’m holding tears back and I have chills as I type. Those were my guys. My two multiple sclerosis warriors are gone. Losing them back to back has been indescribable. I have both of their obituaries in my car. I take them with me everywhere I go. 

These two are the main reason that I’m such a health nut. My maternal grandfather and my paternal uncle both had multiple sclerosis. I watched them suffer for most of my life. I was 9 years old when I started to help take care of my grandpa. I’ve fed him, changed his diaper, taken him to the doctor and everything in between. It was gross as fuck at times, but If I could have one more chance to do anything with him, I would take full advantage of it.

 On the other side Uncle Leroy was only 48 years old when he passed. He’s been sick since he was in his mid 20s. He was the cool uncle that lived out of town. My family oozed a contagious joy when Big L came down from New York.

My mom always spoke highly of Leroy. She said he was always nice and respectful. She and a lot of my relatives say I reminded them of Leroy because he wasn’t in the streets or a tough guy. The Betancourt boys we’re always involved in some foolishness, but Leroy was never that type of guy. 

Leroy was a twin. On the night he passed his twin brother Leon screamed at the top of his lungs, “Why God? He was the good one you should’ve taken me. “He fell to his knees right in front of me. I was sitting on the couch and I couldn’t do anything but cry. My dad has four brothers and two sisters. The family tree lost a branch. Things will never be the same. 

Burying my uncle was one of the hardest things I had to do. I had to pull myself together and help lead the family. That night I walked up to dad and said “You’re the captain now. Grandma and Grandpa are down bad and they have to process this. You have to steer the ship. These next few days are going to be tough, but I got your back.” 

The next week was spent planning a funeral. I didn’t think I would be adding this to my resume so soon but it happened. I knew in my early 20s that I would have to step up and be one of the patriarchs of my family. I didn’t know exactly how it would happen, but I knew I would step up when the time was right. 

The next few weeks we’re tough but I made it through. I had to stay strong for my son. He’s seen so much death for an 8-year-old. In late May I was taking him to school and he broke down crying. He told me that he was thinking about all the relatives he lost over the past few years. 

I fought depression daily, but things we’re moving in the right direction. Then some more wild ass shit happened. In early March, I was playing kickball with my high school students. As I rounded second base I fell. My ankle was little stiff, but I got up and walked it off. An hour later I was in Walmart with one shoe on because my ankle swelled up. It looked like I had a grapefruit in my sock. I couldn’t put any weight on my ankle and I was on crutches for a week. The pain was throbbing and it felt like my ankle weighed 1,000 pounds. I was thinking take my whole ankle away. I don’t even want it anymore. I was in so much pain. I would’ve let somebody cut it off.

I tried to go to work at Nike the next day, but they sent me home. I’ve never broken a bone or had any serious injuries. I had neck surgery before, but never any injuries that limited my mobility. I was down bad. I didn’t do any fitness related activities for two weeks. I didn’t do any weighted exercises with my legs for like a month.  The injury sucked but it made me realize that I’m getting older.

Once I healed, I had a great opportunity to show my bounce back. I started coaching track in January. Life was throwing hurdles at me. I jumped each one and still made time for the kids. Sometimes at the track meets they have coaches’ races. I competed in a few and did very well. Now the team expects me to run at every meet. At a track meet in March I smoked the competition. Our head coach told me that he was going to enter me in the open 100m with some real competition.

 I started practicing with the team to prepare for the race. I saw the qualifying times. Dudes we’re running under 11 seconds. I think I could break 11 seconds with proper training. I was doing pretty well with my training until I pulled my hamstring. When I pulled it, I thought I was going to collapse. My legs were trembling and my head started spinning.

I thought to myself damn Marc you’re old.  I just recovered from sprained ankle, now I pulled a hamstring. Everyone told me I needed to slow down a little bit. I don’t think so. I just have so stretch more and train smarter if I’m going to compete. I turn 30 in late July. I figure I have 5 more years of prime Marc if I train hard and stay fit. That way when I start declining, I will be in peak physical form. Then I can just maintain it from there. 

After a couple weeks I began to work on legs again. I was doing pushups and upper body work because of the injury. I’ve already missed a month of fitness because of my cyst and my ankle. I couldn’t afford to miss any more time. The gym is one of my happy places. I find so much peace in there and when I’m playing competitive sports. Once I have a better grip on my schedule I’ll began playing again. I’ll start by hooping and see what else my schedule permits.

 Speaking on scheduling my son moving here completely changed my schedule. Plus, I got a new job and I quit working at the school. Also, I quit working at Nike in late June. I was planning on staying for 5 years and getting my lifetime discount, but it wasn’t in the cards. I might be able to go back and finish out but we will see what happens.

 Anyways on to the new job. I applied for this job in January. I interviewed in late February and was offered the job three days later. They told me the process would take a couple weeks. They just had to get some contracts finalized and they would bring me on. I waited patiently, but weeks began to pass. Eventually a month passed. I was uneasy and I had no idea what to do.  I called and emailed to the point where one of the owners got spicy with me via email. I felt some kind of way, but I didn’t care I needed this job. One month turned into two months and still no start date in sight. I finally got the green light in late April.

My start date was May 2nd. I was ecstatic, but I had other things on my mind. Before I started my new job my mom Lil Marc and I traveled to Boston for Carlos’s heart transplant anniversary party. In 2020 my 6-year-old nephew Sean died in a car accident. After he passed his parents decided to donate his organs. Seanie was able to save six lives. One of those lives was a little boy named Carlos. Carlos’s family got in touch with my family via Facebook.

 A year after Carlos got his new heart, he and his family came down to Orlando to hang out with us for the day. We had a BBQ/pool party. It was a grand time. This year Carlos’s family wanted us to come up and hang out in Boston for a celebration. We went but my emotions were heavy. My nephew’s death is a messy situation that still hasn’t been resolved, but that’s a different story. My brother and his baby mama are at odds and he wasn’t able to go. I didn’t want to go for various reasons, but I couldn’t let my mom and son navigate that terrain alone. 

I was in Boston with my favorite people, but I was surrounded by fake people and strangers. I kept thinking to myself, why am I here? How did I get here? None of my direct decisions bought me to this point, but I had to bare the weight. Like I said earlier I knew I would have to be the patriarch of my family and here’s a concrete example.  I was angry when I was in Boston, but I was excited to travel and see a new city. I did make the most of it. I didn’t want to be there under those circumstances. Being around people who I didn’t like made it even worse, but I saw the bigger picture. Lil Marc really loves Carlos and even though Sean is gone it felt good to see Carlos’s family happy. 

The trip was cool, but things got interesting right before I left Boston. I got to the airport at 4:15 a.m. to check in for my 6 a.m. flight. I was at the kiosk entering my information and it said my flight was canceled. I put my info in like 3 more times to see if I was tripping, I was not! I tried to switch flights but I was unable to because I fly on standby. I had to call my dad and have him put me on another flight. After about 30 minutes he was able to get me on a 7:15 flight to Washington D.C. I would have to wait there till about 4 and catch another flight to Orlando.

When I finally boarded the plane, I was exhausted. I put on my seat belt and fell asleep. When I woke up then plane was completely empty. The flight attendants had to wake me up. I thought it was all a dream, until I looked at my boarding pass and it said Ronald Regan Airport not Orlando International.     

As I walked down the aisle, I wondered what the hell am I going to do in DC for 5 hours. I pondered on this as I walked to baggage claim. I don’t know how long I was asleep, but when I got to baggage claim everyone was gone. My bag sat all alone, waiting to roll off with me. I called my dad and let him know I made it. It was 9 a.m. and my flight didn’t leave until 4:30. I had a lot of time to kill.

After I got out my feelings I went through my Rolodex and looked for my D.C. contacts.  The first person that came to mind was my guy Nolan. If you don’t know Nolan, he’s low key famous. My boy covers congress for the Los Angeles Times. The night before he scooped me, he attended a White House Gala with some important people. He said he saw Kim Kardashian and was able to get pictures with Emmitt Smith and Adam Silver. I shot him a DM on Instagram and he messaged me back and said he would be at the airport in 20 minutes.

We went back to his spot caught up and played the PS5 a for a little bit. We made reservations for brunch. The only down side was that all the lit brunch spots were booked. We went to a Mexican restaurant and had some breakfast tacos. They were pretty fire. The whole situation was ass, but I’m glad I have good friends. Nolan said he was just returning the favor. He did come hang with me in Orlando earlier this year. 

When I finally got on the plane, it was just like the morning plane ride. I fell asleep before the plane took off. I did wake up right before we landed this time.  When I touched down, I had moves to make. I had to get ready for my first day of work and little Marc had school. Marc flew back with my mom, so I had to go get him when I got back. 

Once I got back home, I began preparation for the big day. I picked out my clothes, packed a lunch and went to bed early. My lady took Marc to school for my first day. I was able to get there 15 minutes early. The new job is pretty cool.

The company I work for is called Global-5 Communications. We do public relations for the Florida Department of Transportation.  My two months of work have been awesome according to my supervisor Gabe. My title is Public Relations  Community Outreach Specialist.

My duties include finding events for us to spread information about what the Department of Transportation is doing in community. Also, we maintain their website and handle most of the interactions with the public.  It’s your standard office jobs with major perks. I get out of the office at least two days a week to network or do outreach. Our main goal is to let the public know about what’s going on with the roadways. I am on the Interstate 4 (I4) express team. We do business with most of the major roadways in Florida. 

This job is going to be my stepping stone into another major gig. My goal is to start doing PR for a musician or for a major sports team.  I am a sponge at my job. I take advantage of every opportunity to network and grow as person and as a professional.  Also, I started doing PR for a local artist stay tuned.

Remember when my hammy gave out? My car died that same week. The transmission on the Pontiac went out sometime in late March. I been having car issues since 2016. I think I’ve had 5 cars since 2017. I drove my grandpa’s van until I got a new car in early May.   

It’s a 2014 Chevy Cruz nothing crazy, but it’s pretty reliable. Except for when the battery started acting stupid. I bought the car on a Monday and I was having issues with it on Saturday, five days later. I was livid! On that Saturday I had my first event for my new job. I set us up at a car show. On top of all this my son and I had a track meet to attend. His mom came to the meet as well. 

I had a mini panic attack, but I had no time to sulk. I had to come up with solutions. Coach Richie came and scooped Marc. I had Triple A come and give me a jump so I could get where I needed to be. The event was cool. We just posted up at the table and informed the public about what’s going on with the major roadways in Central Florida.

After the event I was able to get a jump start and get back home. The next day Triple A came to my house and I bought a new battery from the tow truck driver. He installed it in the driveway. I was tight, but I was able to get the situation handled. I didn’t want to spend that money, but I had it so it had to be done. My grandpa’s van had broken down the weekend before and I spent $400 fixing that.  The worse part about that was I was at a car dealership looking at cars.

Again, I was tight about spending that money, but at least I had a few dollars saved up for emergencies.    Other than that, I been getting ready for football season. I’m going into my second year of coaching for the Orlando Outlaws.

This is our REPO season. We lost last year in the state championship game and we’re coming back with a vengeance. We bringing the smoke next year to. The team we lost to lost a lot of their kids because of age. We lost a few kids as well.  

Tough times don’t last tough people do. Last year at this time I was depressed broke and I hated almost everything going on around me. The only positives I had was my son living with at the time, but I was stressful cause I didn’t have a car and I was broke.

My girl and I were getting closer but we didn’t know that casual sex would turn into a full-blown relationship. Also, it was my first-year coaching youth football. Look at how much things can change in a year. I didn’t know how it was going to happen, but I knew great things were coming. It all happened so fast.

 My life went through some major wholesale changes in sense March. I’m now a full-time dad, I got a new job, new car, I quit two jobs. So much change mostly good, a little bad, but I’m here for the growth. I’m completely out of my comfort zone, but that’s where the growth is.  I only have one source of income right now. It’s cool cause I’m going to turn it into three by September. 

[messers-moony]

So Perfect 2 | J.P

Paring: Young!James Potter X Fem!Lupin!Reader

Summary: James falls in love with a bookstore called, Lupin’s Library, and can’t believe what they’re going through. 

Preparing for a date seemed easy enough, except when it’s with a twenty-five-year-old man that already has a child. Granted, the twenty-five-year-old man was handsome, very handsome; maybe that’s what made this so hard. Every dress that she tried on didn’t seem to fit or didn’t seem to look right. 

Y/n was looking at her appearance in the mirror when a light knock was heard on her door, “Come in!”

Remus almost dropped the tea he was holding for her, “You look spiffing.”

“Spiffing?” Y/n crossed her arms with a stupid smile, “That’s all you could come up with?”

“Dashing, beautiful, gorgeous?” Remus shrugged, “I'm not good at this whole thing. ‘S why I’m into blokes, remember?”

Y/n hummed, reaching for the tea he was holding for her, “Thanks, Remmy.”

“No problem.” He replied, taking a seat on her twin bed, “So, are you excited?”

“Nervous.”

“Nervous?”

“Yeah, I mean, he’s already got a child, Rem!” Y/n said exasperated, “If this goes well, then he’ll expect me to be Harry’s stepmother, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

Remus placed two hands on his shorter sister's shoulders, “You’re going to be fine. No one is more prepared for that than you are.”

“I’m regretting this.”

“If you don’t go on this date, then I’ll never call Sirius.” 

“That’s not fair!”

“It is.” Remus replied, “How about this-”

“Oh no, you only do this when you know you’ll win.” She murmured. 

Remus smirked, “If you go on this date and have fun, I’ll ask Sirius out. If you don’t go on this date at all, I’ll block his number.”

“But you and Sirius are perfect for each other.” Y/n whined, “And so are you and James.” Remus countered. 

Y/n pouted, and Remus smiled, “Now go have fun on this date. James is waiting outside.”

“Are you shitting me?!” 

Remus laughed, “Nope!”

Y/n scrambled to grab her things, and Remus watched amusedly, “You’re the worst, Rem!” She yelled as she began to leave the bookstore. 

“Love you too, sis!”

The door closed behind her, and she was releasing breaths of air. James turned to see her out of breath and a flush on her cheeks. It made him smile. She looked absolutely breathtaking too. Y/n’s hair was styled, and her dress looked dashing on her. James offered her his hand, and Y/n took it with a gentle smile. 

“Sorry for making you wait.” Y/n apologized, “Rem was no help.”

James chuckled, “It’s fine.”

James opened the car door for her, and she got in. Instantly she felt out of place. Y/n hadn’t been in a car since high school and ever since then had taken public transportation or walked. She and Remus didn’t have money for a vehicle, so they made do with what they had. The seats were black leather, and the car didn’t have a spec of dirt on it. 

He got into the driver's side of the car smoothly and took notice of Y/n’s awestruck expression, “I take it you like my car?”

“I’m sorry.” Her expression turned sheepish, “It’s been a minute since I’ve been in a car.”

James quirked an eyebrow, “Remus and I walk or ride buses to get by.”

“Well, I’m glad I could be with you for your first experience back.” They both laughed. 

It was so easy with James. Conversation flowed like water, and the air was light like clouds. His hand went from the shift to intertwine his fingers with hers. Y/n’s face flushed, and James smiled genuinely. James couldn’t remember a time when a girl made his heart race and butterflies fill his stomach like this before. 

When they arrived, Y/n was starstruck. It was fancier than she thought. Her heart pounded, and insecurity filled her body. James made his way to her side of the car and opening the door for her again. He helped her out of the car and felt her hand tremble just the slightest bit. 

“You look beautiful.” James assured, “No need to be worried.”

Y/n swallowed thickly, “Hey,” James turned her face to his, “If I thought you were underdressed, I would’ve told you. You’re gorgeous, and I think you’ll be the prettiest girl in the room.”

“Thank you.”

He gave her another one of those beautiful smiles before walking up to the hostess, “Name?”

“Should be under Potter.”

The hostess smiled, “Right this way.”

James motioned for Y/n to go first, so she followed the hostess to the table. Y/n sat down, and James sat across from her as the woman set down two menus. Maybe it was a force of habit, but she couldn’t help but let her eyes travel to everything around her. 

He smiled, slightly amused by her way of checking everything around her. It wasn’t the fanciest place that he could’ve taken her - there was much better - but he didn’t want to overwhelm her. It wasn’t pitying that drew him toward her, though. There was something about her that made him feel like a teenager again. 

The place was made of what appeared to be a dark wooden material. The lights were a dim yellow, and the tables were polished beautifully. The booths were comfy and with red cushioning. The atmosphere was cooling and dry. 

Y/n had opened her menu and began to survey it, “Pick whatever you want.” 

“Are you sure?” Y/n asked, “I really don’t mind-“

“This is a date.” James reminded as he held her hands from across the table, “Let me treat you so well that you a second date.”

Y/n blushed, “You’ve already done that.” 

“I have?”

“Shut up.”

James chuckled, kissing her knuckles, “Whatever you want, love.”

Half of the food on the menu Y/n hadn’t even heard of. Granted, she and Remus never really ate out much as kids. Usually, their mother - Hope - would cook them dinner as their father - Lyall - got home from work. Dinner was generally around seven-thirty or eight o’clock. 

The dinner went by gracefully, with lots of banter and getting to know each other. It wasn’t until the end of the date where James had paid despite Y/n’s efforts, and they got into the car where he had asked the dreadful question. They both sat in the parking spot when James had turned to her. 

“How do you feel about children?” James asked and quickly added, “I know that you’re good with them because of the reading on Saturdays but, I mean, about having children?”

Y/n wrung her hands, “I never really thought about it.”

“Why?”

“I have two jobs and a sick brother to take care of.”

Y/n replied, “Kids don’t really fit in. I’d also have to have a significant other to have children. Which I don’t have.”

James nodded, “Okay, but if you were to have a significant other.”

“I mean, I’d like to.” Y/n shrugged, “My life is just hectic right now. Bringing a child into this life wouldn’t be fair.”

Okay, so this isn’t going anywhere, James thought; I need to be blunt, “How would you feel about being Harry’s stepmother?”

She swallowed, “James….”

“I know that’s a hard thing to answer right now. Especially with us just getting started.” James added, “But if you aren’t interested, then this isn’t worth starting.”

“No, I know and understand.” Y/n said, fidgeting with her hands in her lap, “I’m sure it’s hard to find someone, you know, already having a kid and all.”

James nodded. 

“I’d love to be Harry’s stepmother.” Y/n replied as James’ face lit up, “But I still have the bookstore, the bar, and Remus to take care of as well. It’ll be stressful.” 

“I’m not asking you to be a stay-at-home mother.” James chuckled, “I’m just asking that at the end of the day, you come home to us.”

“And hopefully,” James smiled sheepishly, “Sirius can knock Remus off your list.”

Y/n chuckled, “Hopefully. Remus is a handful.”

“He seems nice.” 

She snorted, “Until you officially meet him.”

“Well then,” James smiled, taking her hand in his as he began moving the car, “Looks like we’ll be having double dates.”

Y/n squeezed his hand as he began to drive. The car drove effortlessly over the unpaved roads. Light music played in the background. The sky was a beautiful blue littered with sparkling white specks. The moon was crescent and barely a sliver. James had gotten to a stoplight when he spoke up again. 

“My house or yours?”

“Whichever.” 

James smiled and turned the wheel to the left, “Okay.”

It didn’t take long to realize that they were going to his house. His neighborhood was much different than hers. Granted, she lived on top of a bookshop, but it was still different. James lived in the suburbs. The houses were breathtaking, and the streets looked clean. Asphalt roads were freshly paved, and sidewalks looked new. The homes were family-sized, but they looked ginormous compared to her and Remus’ studio apartment only suited for one. 

James pulled into the driveway, and Y/n was flabbergasted. It was a two-story house, mostly white concrete, and the accents were a dark brown color. The grass was freshly cut, and the vegetation was trimmed. The backyard appeared to have a pool and a patio area, but Y/n could barely tell over the solid fence. 

His keys jingled as he placed the key into the slot and the door opened with ease. Gently, he motioned her to go first. The floors were dark oak wood, seemingly similar to the dark paint on the accents of the house. Everything was so clean, exactly like the car, not a spec of dust laid on the surfaces. 

A movie was playing on the television in the room on the right. The kitchen was on the left, and the sitting table was in the room beside it. James shut the door behind him, locking it. He took off his coat and shoes, placing them at the front door. He smiled. 

“I take it you like the house?”

“It’s beautiful.”

James smiled, walking to the kitchen, and Y/n took off her shoes before following him. He sighed when he opened the fridge, and Y/n had taken a seat at the barstool in front of the island. James picked up an empty bottle of wine that was still residing in the fridge. 

“You keep empty bottles of wine in the fridge?” Y/n questioned as James rubbed his face with his hands. 

“No. Bad habit of Sirius’.”

Y/n quirked an eyebrow, “He lives here?”

“He acts as he does.” James muttered as he recycled the empty bottle, “But no, Sirius lives a couple of doors down. But I feel like he should be paying rent here.”

Y/n laughed, “Regardless, I’ve known him since elementary school, so he’s like my brother. Harry calls him uncle and everything.”

“That’s adorable.” Y/n said, “Do you have any actual siblings?”

“Nope. Jus’ me.” He answered, motioning to himself, “Sirius has a younger brother named Regulus.”

“His parents obsessed with constellations or something?”

“Supposedly.”

“Where is Harry now?” 

“With Sirius.” James replied, taking out a full bottle of wine, “Told him I might get him tonight or might not.”

Y/n took the glass of wine he offered her with a smile, “Mind if I ask why the tv was left on?”

“My cat.”

“Cat?”

“Technically, not mine.” James explained, “It’s my ex-fiancées, but she left him here, so he’s mine now.”

“And your cat likes the tv?”

James nodded, “What's his name?”

“Moony.”

“Moony?”

“Yeah. Harry named him actually.”

Y/n smiled. They continued to talk, and the night kept going on by. It was well past midnight when James drove her back home to her shared apartment. The car ride was silent, primarily with music playing lightly in the background once again. He walked her to the door of the bookstore before bidding her goodnight. 

Gently James pressed his lips to her forehead, “Goodnight, get some sleep.”

“You too…” Y/n muttered, blushing as she walked into the bookstore. 

She hadn’t even made it up the steps when Remus began talking, “Had a good night, I presume?”

“You’re a dick, ya know?”

He smirked and closed his book with a thud, “Runs in the family.”

Y/n gasped playfully, “You ass!”

Remus chuckled as they both walked up the steps, “Seriously though, good night?”

“Yeah, really good night.”

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕

Hiii I don't know if you take request but can i request like a chris evans x reader like the reader and chris are married and chris is having a bad day or something so chris go out to the pub and go home drunk and its been going for 3 days and the reader and chris has a 6year old and the reader have been doing all the work and taking care of they're daughter and they're daughter miss chris bc chris is never home and just go home until 12 or 2 in the morning or if chris is home he never play with her daughter and they're daughter is sad abt it bc they're daughter though chris doesn't love her anymore and chris miss her play in school even though chris promise so that day when chris miss her daughter's play the reader confront chris abt it and chris said he doesn't care abt his daughter and he said he didn't know why he married the reader bc she's clingy but chris didn't know that they're daughter heard what chris said abt her and chris didn't know also that the reader is 6-7 weeks pregnant and the reader and chris heard they're daughter sob and that moment chris realize it all his mistakes? and apologize to them idk if this make sense and im sorry if this is so longg, thank you in advance stay safe! <3

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒅𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒌 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔, 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔, 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒖𝒍

𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒗𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓, 𝒅𝒂𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔

𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕

--

"What did you say?" You stood in front of Chris, your heart breaking in your chest. The both of you were in the middle of a fight and chris side something you never thought he would ever think about saying.

It all started a few weeks ago. Chris has been away, going straight to the bar right after working. He didn't come back home till 12am leaving your 6 year old wondering if she was loved by him.

Two weeks prior

You heard the front door open as you laid in bed. Sighing, you looked over at the clock seeing that it was almost one am. This was the third time this week.

You sat up as you heard Chris footsteps approaching. The door swung open revealing Chris. "Where have you been?" You questioned. Chris approached the bed, he didn't even glance at you. The smell of alcohol filled the air telling you where he was all day.

"out." Chris began to pull off his Jacket. You rolled your eyes, "out... Where? You smell like alcohol, have you been at the bar?"

Chris rolled his eyes, "y/n, get off my back. Every day I come back you question me." He threw his coat to the floor before he walked out of the room. You don't know where he was going nor did you care at this point. He was being a huge dick right now and you hope he snaps out of it.

*

The next morning you woke to your alarm clock. You pressed snooze, shutting off the annoying sound. You let out a stretch as you turned around. Chris wasn't on his side of the bed, the blanket were pulled back, a empty cold space was there. You sighed as you kicked the covers off your body. You weren't even going to think about Chris, all you were worried about was your daughter isabella, and getting her ready for school.

The door slightly creaked as you pushed it open. You saw isabella sleeping soundly in her bed, her princess blankets covering her so well.

You walked straight to the window, opening the curtains before shaking isabella awake. "Time to get up honey."

Isabella stirred, she peered at you before a smile creeped on her face. She's been doing that ever since she was a little peanut, smiling every time she saw you and Chris. It was so sweet and it made you very happy.

"hi mommy. She pushed the blanket back letting out a big stretch. "Good morning bug. You ready to get ready for school?"

Isabella nodded, "yeah."

"okay, then let's go."

*

Isabella sat at the table eating her cereal. You were preparing her lunch for her when she asked you a question. "Mommy, why is daddy never home?"

You looked up at her; you weren't sure what to say. "Umm.. he has a lot of work to do and he has to be away so yeah, that's why he's never home." Isabella nodded, "okay, I'm done with my cereal." She Hopped out of her chair and walked over to you. "Okay, I got your lunch for you, you get your backpack and let's go."

Isabella grabbed her backpack off of the couch before you both were on your way to her school.

*

After dropping isabella off, you were on your way. You had an doctors appointment due to feeling Nauseous and throwing up everything you ate.

You pulled into the parking lot, parking your car in an open space. You shut off the car before you got out and made your way In. It wasn't packed which was nice.

You filled out the information you needed to before you turned it back in and waited.

It was a 15 minute wait before your name was called. You walked back with the doctor who also found out you were having isabella.

"How have you been?" She asked walking into the room after you. "I've been great." She mumbled a nice before logging into her computer. "How has isabella been? She is 6 now right?"

You nodded as you smiled. "Yes, a happy, energetic 6 year old." The doctor laughed, "that's amazing. Okay I'm going to get an ultrasound because you may be pregnant from the symptoms you've told me. So I'm going to need you to lay down and lift your shirt."

You mumbled an ok doing what she said. In that moment you grew nervous.

She placed cold gel on your stomach before placing the wand on it. It took some time before she found the baby on the monitor.

"you are pregnant Mrs Evans." She said turning to you. You clasped your hands over your mouth as you eyes filled with tears. "Oh my gosh." You sniffed "I can't believe it."

Your doctor wiped the gel off and congratulated you. You thanked her. She gave you some information for a healthy pregnancy before she let you go your own way. You got in your car and shed some tears. You were extremely happy.

*

Later that day you picked up isabella. As you stood outside waiting for her you couldn't help but think about isabella having a little brother or sister.

"mommy!"

You snapped out of your daze as you saw isabella running towards you. "Hi honey." You said as you kneeled down to her height. She wrapped her arms around you giving you a big hug. "Did you have a good day?"

Isabella pulled away, "yeah! I going to be in a play." She pulled away and handed you the paper that was in her hand. "The wizard of oz. Honey I'm so proud of you." You stood up and took her hand led her back to the car.

"I can't wait to tell daddy." Isabella said. Your stomach did a little flip. You forgot about Chris. "Yeah, how about I call him and you tell him?"

Isabella nodded, "okay." You got her in the car before you did. You pulled your phone out a dialed chris' number. It rung a few times before Chris picked.

"hi." Chris said. He didn't smile like he used to you noticed. You ignored that, "um isabella has something to tell you." You passed the phone back to isabella.

"hi daddy!" Isabella smiled at Chris through the phone. Chris laughed, "hi bub, what do you have to tell me?"

"I got to tell you I'm going to be in a play."

Chris gasped, "that's amazing baby." Isabella laughed agreeing. "Are you going to be there?"

There was a brief silence before Chris spoke. "Yeah, of course. I promise."

Present day

Your legs bounced as you looked around the crowd room. It was the day of isabella's play. You were waiting for Chris who said he would be there. The play was about to start but he was nowhere to be seen.

"you sighed softly as you looked down at your phone. You kept texting him but there was no response. Your frustration was growing. If he misses this it would be the worse thing ever.

You sat back in your seat trying to relax. Even if he didn't come, you were there for isabella.

·

Chris didn't come and they play soon started. You watched as she did her acting. She was amazing, a little star in the making.

When it was over you went backstage to pick her up. "Mommy did I do a good job?" She asked you. "You did an amazing job." Isabella smiled. "Thanks... Where's day?" She asked looking around. You felt your heart sink in your chest, you didn't want to hurt her feeling but you had to tell her.

"hes not her baby. I'm sorry." Isabella eyes started to fill with tears, "why?" You pulled her into a hug. "I don't know honey but the only thing that matters is that you did an amazing job and I'm very proud of you okay?"

You pulled away and wiped her stray tear away. "Okay." You stood up, "um let's go. We going to go to a restaurant since you did so good." Isabella laughed, "yay."

-

You and isabella had a nice dinner, just the two of you. Even though she was very smiley, you can see the pain in her eyes. You felt guilty even though it wasn't even your fault. You were getting sick of Chris not being there, it was time to confront him.

After putting isabella to bed, you waited for him. Just like other nights he came home around 12am. As you heard the door open you walked to the foyer, your arms crossed over your chest, and a frown on your face.

Chris shut the door before turning around. When he saw you he sighed.

"are you fucking kidding me?" You said. Chris looked at you, "what?"

You scoffed, "you missed isabella's play. You promised you would be there and you fucking broke it."

"oh y/n, fuck off with your bullshit. I wish I never fucking married you. And you know what forget isabella, I don't care about her stupid play. You both have been down my throat for weeks, I wish I didn't know you two."

You breath was caught in your throat as he said those things. "What did you say?" You looked at him, your blood boiling and your heart was breaking.

Chris was about to speak again but you were interrupted by a cry. You looked up the stairs seeing isabella. She was crying, she heard everything. She ran back to her room leaving you and Chris. You could stop the tears forming in your eyes.

You turned back to Chris. "Fuck you, you're disgusting." You ran up the stairs going to get isabella. You weren't going to spend the night here, you just couldn't. You took isabella with you to a hotel leaving Chris in your house.

As hours went on and Chris sobered up his words ate at him. He sat on the kitchen floor crying to himself. "What the fuck have I just done?"

--

I'm going to make it two parts. I'll get to writing the next. Sorry it's kinda harsh

@chris-butt @patzammit @bval-1 @raveviolet @mrsbbarnesrogers-reading @enn-j @london-dreamer71 @harrysthiccthighss @captianamerica-is-bae @la-cey @weirdowithnobeardo @lovepeacefood @baby-i-am-fireproof @denisemarieangelina @evans713 @smyfmj @thereisa8ella @rororo06 @keiva1000 @ughitsnic @adriannajackson123 @marvelnaturalock @notyourtypicalrose @dummiesshort @onetwo3000 @hhiggs @katiew1973 @andreasworlsboring101 @skepticnovak @funfickgirl22 @hxnesthxneybee @christhickevans @melchills-j @franchesca-791 @moonlacebeam @annasworld14 @areamir

[clairecrive]

Hello beautiful person! Do you take requests which ask you to write a second chapter for your writings? If you do, may I ask a second chapter for "Rare"? And if you don't could you please let me know so I can be careful for another time when I ask a request?

I hope this is not something that disturbes or irritates you. I love your writing, it is beautiful and sometimes I read your pieces over and over again. 😁

Thanks for blessing us with your writing. Have a nice day.💕

A/n: First of all anon, thank you so very much for your sweet words! They mean the world to me <3 Also, your request could never irritate me! I love them and I love the fact that you consider me half a decent writer enough to send me your thoughts <3 I'm sorry it took me so long to get around this but I hope you like this and are still around to read it x

I've decided to pair it with a request for juicy time with Eddie. there's no actual smut but it's suggestive let's say.

Warnings: bit of angst, fluff,

Word count: 2.4K

Tags: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @fandom--0verdose, @shadow-of-wonder, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @sopxhiea, @fuseburner, @for-bebbanburg, @crazyclownchick ( fill in this form to be added to my taglist)

Part 1

TOM HARDY MASTERLIST

You weren't exactly new to heartbreak. You had been a teenager after all but your experience with adult relationships had not been that good either.

You knew that you'd be over Eddie even if it may take you some time. It's true that you had only been dating for a few months but you had really grown attached to him. It was one of the things you hated about yourself: the way you got attached way too soon, way too much.

Especially, in this case, seeing as Eddie hadn't been 100% in it in the beginning you had hoped that the more time you'd spend together, he'd see that you weren't so bad and that he'd grow to care for you. At least a little bit.

Turns out you were wrong.

As much as you hated being wrong, the thing that hurt you the most was that despite your best efforts, Eddie still didn't think you were enough for him. And how could you be when the benchmark was perfect Anne?

You stood no chance. You had been a fool for even trying. And now you were experiencing the burn for your foolishness.

This had happened often enough that you had developed a routine for dealing with heartbreak:

1) crying your heart out and indulging your sadness with whatever helped (mostly comfort food and Friends)

2) enough with indulging, it was time to pick yourself up. No more overeating although you still allowed yourself to cry if you felt like it

3) "I don't need him anyway" phase where you'd make a mental list of how your life was before and after whoever you had broken up with to remind you that they weren't as important as you made them out to be

4)"put yourself out there again" phase where you started going out again with the intention of meeting new people or simply having a good time.

As of this time, you were in phase 3. You noticed that there were some of Eddie's things littering around your apartment. So, you picked up a box and collected them with the intention of returning them to him, effectively closing this chapter. As you did, you made that aforementioned list. This time, with the added reason for your break up, it was a bit easier to remind you why breaking up had been the right decision.

When your hands closed on your favourite hoodie of his though, you couldn't help the pang in your heart as a flood of memories hit you.

You and Eddie doing a Friends marathon every Friday night.

Eddie giving this hoodie when you were sick because he knew how much you liked it.

Eddie taking the hoodie off for a whole other reason almost ripping it...

No.

Shaking your head, you pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on the task at hand.

Enough of that. It was over.

It was only a week later that you finally got the time to come around Eddie's apartment. Sure, you could have called him, he could have come himself to pick them up or you could have dropped them at his job but that would have required you to call him. And recalling how that went last time you tried to reach him you decided you'd spare yourself the humiliation of him not ghosting you again.

Taking a deep breath, you straightened your shoulders and knocked on his door.

"Y/n." You were met with a dishevelled Eddie.

He looked like shit but what's new with him. He also looked very surprised to see you at his door and you also couldn't blame it for that. You would have reacted the same way if the roles were reversed.

"Hi, Eddie," you hated your treacherous voice that wobbled when you spoke. Clearing your voice, you tried again.

"Sorry to come here unannounced. I've found some of your stuff in my apartment and I thought you'd like to have them back." You explained as you handed him the box, his eyes taking it in for the first time.

"Oh," he paused as he considered your words. Was that disappointment in his voice? "Thank you, y/n. You shouldn't have." He smiled weakly as he took the box from you, your fingers touching briefly.

"It's not a problem, Eddie. I was just passing by anyway." You and Eddie actually lived far from each other. The truth is that there was no reason for you to be in this part of town if it wasn't for him. Eddie knew that but he was kind enough not to point that out.

He just nodded, accepting your words as he held the box close to his chest.

You awkwardly stared at each other for a while, you didn't know what to say but neither of you wanted to end this exchange quite yet. When you felt that you had been standing like a fool in front of your ex's door, you went to leave but Eddie beat you to it.

"So how have you been?" Your first reaction was to scoff at this attempt of small talk. Neither of you was very good at it. And truthfully, it was rich coming from someone who had not made any effort to keep in contact with you even before your breakup.

The scroll of your shoulders was the only answer Eddie got. You weren't in the mood to pretend nor did you want him to know how you were still suffering for him.

"I should ask that to you." You reverted the question to him. He really didn't look well.

"yeah, it's been a rough couple of weeks," he confessed scratching the back of his head.

"That, I don't find it hard to believe," you hummed as your eyes took him in, really took him in since you knocked at his door. You could also see behind him that his apartment was a mess.

"Yeah, don't have to worry about me though. I'm fine."

"Of course." You nodded at his dismissal, remembering harshly the situation you were in."Well, I'm going to go now. Take care." Cold but still polite you turn around, ready to put this -Eddie and this exchange- behind you.

"Y/n, wait!" he called when you were about to climb down the staircase. "Do you want to have a drink or something?" Stay for a while? he meant but didn't dare to say.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Eddie." You called over your shoulder, hand still on the railing.

"Please, I owe you an explanation." You didn't know if it was the desperate note in his voice or the fact that he really looked like shit but you turned around almost convinced.

"Don't you think it's too late for that, Eddie?"

"Maybe it won't change anything between us but you deserve to know." You knew Eddie and you knew how much he cared about transparency and honesty. This may not mean that you were going to get back together but he was right, you deserved an explanation.

"Okay," you agreed as you walked back and then into his apartment. Eddie closed the door behind him and set the box he was still holding down behind the coat hanger.

The sneak peek you had before was definitely right: Eddie's apartment was even messier than usual.

"Why does it look like a tornado hit your home?" You couldnìt help but point out. You knew Eddie wasn't that bothered by tidiness but this too much even by his standards.

"That would be my fault," a new voice answered you.

At first, you didn't register the difference in tone or accent even though you should have had because Eddieìs voice wasnìt that low or raspy. But then a black tendril entered your vision field catching your attention making you turning your head to better inspect it.

What.the.fuck??

"Eddie?" You asked perplexed, eyes fixed on this thing? even if you were addressing Eddie.

"Y/n meet Venom, Venom meet y/n." He gestured awkwardly with his hands.

"It's so nice to meet you, Eddie's always thinking about you, you know? It's a bit annoying." this time the voice didn't come from a tendril but a face. A fucking alien face with long sharp teeth and wide white eyes.

His words went straight over your head. How the fuck was this true? What were you even seeing? Did this thing come from Eddie's body??

"Fuck, I know I'm heartbroken but now I'm even seeing things?"

"Y/n," Eddie tried to get your attention. You thought you had only thought that but apparently, you had spoken the words. "You're not seeing things, this is part of the explanation I owe you."

"I think it's better if you sit," he said motioning to his couch when you did nothing but stare at Venom. Prompting by Eddie though, you sat down and listened as he spoke.

He told you everything. About Carton Drake about his project with aliens, about Venom and their rather troubled relationship. He even explained how Anne had got involved and how she and Danny had helped him.

It was definitely a lot to take in. But somehow, the thought that he could be lying to you never crossed your mind. The proof was right in front of you, wasn't it? Venom, as he had introduced himself, stood next to Eddie while he spoke. It had never spoken again and you were inwardly thankful for that. That he was giving you space to digest all of this.

"Why didn't you tell me when you came around that day, Eddie?" You asked once you thought you had wrapped your head around it.

"I didn't want you to drag you into this mess," he said with a shrug, head cast down he didn't meet your eyes.

You didn't know how you felt about all of this yet but you nodded anyway. Well, there was nothing you could do anymore, could you? He had already taken care of everything on his own and it wasn't like you had any right to worry about him anymore.

"Thank you for explaining, Eddie. I appreciate your honesty." Did this change anything for you?

"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't enough of if Anne meant more to me than you did. That's not true but I didn't know how to tell you that without telling you what was happening." He nervously fiddled with his fingers without meeting your eyes.

You could see his point now that you knew what happened. Still, it hurt you that he decided to just keep you out of it without a word. He could have at least told you that something was going on, that he didn't or couldn't tell you anything - not right now. You would have understood and given him space. Did he really act like this to keep you safe or was it a way to dismiss you?

"I don't know if this changes things, Eddie. You still turned up to her when a major life-threatening event happened. I think this tells me everything that I need to know." You point out after a while, eyes fixed on the end of your shoes.

"She has been involved from the moment we broke up, Y/n. Hell, this was the reason we broke up in the first place." Eddie's head snapped up at your words. He looked surprised at your words like he couldn't believe that you thought Anne's involvement had been something he had actively sought out.

"That may as well be true, Eddie but still, you didn't tell me even after everything settled down. If I hadn't come around to give you your stuff I still would be none the wiser."

"I was afraid, y/n. How could I come back to you after how much I had hurt you? 'Sorry if I went m.i.a. for a while, I was infected with a parasite who knows permanently with me?' Come on, y/n, I wouldn't take me back either." Now upset, Eddie started to gesticulate frantically to prove his point. His eyes flickered between yours, he leaned toward you, his hands a touch away from yours as if he wanted to touch you but was preventing himself from doing so.

"I'm not saying I would have believed you straight away but still- aliens are way better than self-loathing you know?" You scoff at him- why was he so upset? He wasn't the one who had been beating himself up since that fight for being a worthless piece of shit, was he?

"I know I've never done a good job at showing you but I do care about you. Deeply." Almost as if he couldn't bear to not be touching you any longer, Eddie now reached for your hands. His hold on them tightening as he spoke the words.

You looked at him for a moment. Aside from that fight, your relationship with him had been good. The start wasn't promising, seeing as he was still taken by Anne but Eddie had treated you good. He was attentive and caring in his own way. Looking back to it now, you realized that the period where you started feeling him pulling back from you was the time when this whole alien thing had started.

But now you had settled this, right? So, could this mean...

"If I give you one more chance to show you," you spoke tentatively, enthralled by the twinkle in his eyes, "do you promise me to be fully transparent with me this time around?"

"What? Why would you do that?" He looked shocked but his eyes were hopeful.

"Are you trying to talk me out of it, Eddie?" You challenged him, arching an eyebrow.

"Like hell I am." He scoffed, a smile on his lips. "Nono, of course I do. I swear, y/n. You'll never feel like you don't matter to me again."

"Good." You gave him a small smile at the gobsmacked expression on his face. Oh, Eddie...

He does nothing but stares at you for a while. Like he hadn't seen you in a while and now that you were in front of him, he wanted to commit to his memory every little detail of your face.

"So," you said after a while, "do you plan to stare at me or would you like to get a head start on your promise?" you provoke him with a suggestive tone.

Eddie's mouth fell a little at that, Venom said something to him but you didn't understand him. Shaking his head, Eddie smirks at you.

"I would like nothing more." And with that, Eddie's lips are on yours making up for the lost time.