#(I can never write short stories) that's bullshit but it is a good joke

[imbestforyou]

you belong with me

pairing: jj maybank x bestfriend!reader

summary: reader is in love with jj, but jj’s dating another girl…

warnings: unmutual pining, minor profanity, poorly edited, cliffhanger (sorry i got lazy), short pt. 2 if people want it idk, little angst and fluff

approx. reading time: 8 minutes and 30 seconds

writing inspo: you belong with me (taylor’s version) by taylor swift

masterlist :)

“wait what?” i exclaimed. i was sitting in sarah’s room listening to her talk about her day at the beach with the pogues.

“yes i swear! he brought emily there and had his arm wrapped around her and everything! didn’t even surf, which is crazy for jj.”

“so he must be serious about this girl, right?” i sighed as i layed on her bed. i couldn’t believe it. jj maybank? in a relationship with a kook girl?

“i mean i don’t know much. but if i’m being honest, he didn’t seem that interested in her.” she talked as she curled her hair for her date with john b. i stayed silent. i couldn’t believe it.

————————————————————————————

“hey y/n!” i stopped in my tracks. i knew that voice all too well. and it was the voice of someone i had been ignoring for the past two weeks. i turned slowly to face him.

“hey.” i said looking at the floor. purposely avoiding eye contact. it wasn’t that i didn’t want to see jj, i did. but it hurt to know he was dating someone else. especially emily, someone who was drastically different from me, from all the pogues to be honest.

“i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever. what’s up with that? sarah told me you’ve been sick, but i told her that was bullshit. you haven’t gotten sick since like the 3rd grade.” he grabbed me by the shoulders playfully. i look up to see emily staring at me from the bar.

“uh yeah. i don’t know what happened. probably got it from my parents after they came back from new york.” it was a lie. my parents hadn’t been to new york in ages.

with emily giving me a death stare and jj touching me, i was feeling claustrophobic and a little freaked out, “anyways look i’ll see you later. i have to get home and get some homework done.” i turn around and start walking before he can begin a sentence.

————————————————————————————

you're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset

she's going off about something that you said

‘cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

my eyes were closed while i sunbathed on the beach before i was interrupted by another call on my phone.

jj <3 - 3 missed calls

jj <3 - calling now

“hello?”

“y/n? y/n! hey how- how are you doing?” he stutters a bit.

“hey i’m doing fine? are you okay? you sound a little weird.”

“i’m good just pissed at emily.” he huffed.

“ahh emily. so how is your new girlfriend?”

“she’s pissed at me for some lame joke i made with pope. and she called attacking me and shit because i was being a douchebag or something.”

“ha what else is new.” i joke. and he laughs which stops my heart for a minute. i pause then ask,

“what was the joke?” i ask, curious to know why emily would be so upset.

“i told her the dress she was wearing looked like a hospital gown and she got all pissed. wasn’t even a good joke…” he mumbled.

i laughed, he was right. it wasn’t, i could think of thousands of jokes better, but i could tell it must’ve been an attempt to make emily and pope laugh.

“i guess she doesn’t get your humor.”

“guess not…” he sighs then starts again,

“hey l was wondering if you wanted to hang out later. i don’t know i’ve been feeling really distant from you recently.

“yeah i’m sorry about that, um so like with the pogues or…?”

“nah just yo- sorry hold that thought emily’s calling me and i really don’t want to make her more mad. i’ll call you back.”

he never called back.

————————————————————————————

im in the room, it's a typical tuesday night

im listening to the kind of music she doesn't like

and she'll never know your story like I do

a week had passed and he still hadn’t called me. i wasn’t even trying to ignore him anymore, he just was never around. school had ended and summer break had finally begun. and still no call.

as i layed on my bed and sang along to “the blue” by gracie abrams, sarah tries convincing me to talk to jj.

“why don’t you just call him? see what’s up? it’s not like him to be this distant. it’s with john b too, hasn’t been to the chateau recently. and you know how his dad is.”

“a shitty father is what he is.” i spit out. even though i was irritated at jj for not even trying to keep any communication between any of the pogues my hatred for luke will always be worse.

i sit up, “look he’s probably fine and with emily. i’ll talk to john b to get him to chill. but honestly i don’t think jj wants to keep contact with any of us. if he wanted to he would have.”

“i don’t know, you should call him. emily has like tied him up all for herself. have you noticed that?”

but she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts

shes cheer captain and im on the bleachers

dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find

that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

“i mean i think everyone has. or that fact that she’s nothing like any of us and exactly like the type of girl he would make fun of.”

“a kook princess, like what i was.”

“exactly. i don’t want to judge him but why would he go into a relationship with someone who he so obviously doesn’t like?”

“something is up y/n. go figure it out.” she grabbed my car keys and pushed me out the door.

————————————————————————————

standing by and waiting at your back door

all this time, how could you not know, baby?

you belong with me, you belong with me

i take a deep breathe before knocking at his door.

no response. i knock again.

“hello! anyone home?”

“shut the hell u- y/n?” jj opens the door.

“hi- hey i just came to check on you. can i come in?”

he turns back, no doubt looking for his father. “probably not the best idea.”

“yeah- yeah uh wanna go to mine? so we can talk?” he nods and shuts the door behind him. he doesn’t make eye contact but all i can do is stare at the blood on his face and knuckles.

oh, I remember you driving to my house

in the middle of the night

im the one who makes you laugh

when you know you're 'bout to cry

and I know your favorite songs

and you tell me 'bout your dreams

think I know where you belong

think I know it's with me

i unlock my house from the back door to hopefully not make as much noise. my parents couldn’t find out i was sneaking in a boy in the middle of the night. i hurriedly close the door to my room and turn to him.

“are you okay?” i spill out.

“yes.” he’s quiet, that’s not the jj i know.

“you know you can talk to us, right? like any of the pogues, we’re here for you. i’m here for you.” i move closer and touch the blood on his forehead, and he winces. his head is sticky, like if he had been sweating. and i can’t decide whether it’s because of the humidity or if he was fighting with his father. probably both.

“luke?” he just nods. my heart breaks for him. i grab his hand and let him sit on my bed. i grab my first aid kit and rubbing alcohol and get to work on the blood and bruises on his hand and knuckles.

we sit in comfortable silence. but it was mostly me waiting to see if he was going to talk about his dad.

“i didn’t want to ignore you guys.” he speaks so low, i almost couldnt hear him. i kneel down so i can look at his face.

“then why did you?”

“i- i told my dad something, stupid i know. but he blew up on me a couple weeks ago. told me his boss had a nice daughter named emily my age. said if i could get with her, he’d get more money or some shit. i don’t know i guess i wanted to make him proud. so i- i started dating her. kept fucking it up and he would beat the shit out of me. didn’t want you guys to see me like that.”

i sighed. my hands were holding his for comfort. something we’d done since we were kids but felt really unfamiliar now.

“what’d you tell your dad to make him set you up with emily?”

he coughed, “told’m that i loved someone.”

my heart dropped for the second time in two months. why did i even think for a second that’d i’d have a chance? i told myself we belonged together.

“oh.” i got up and released my hands from his. suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. i cleared my throat.

“um well, i have some sleeping bags in my closet and if you want you can sleep in my bed or um whatever feels more com-“

“i told him i loved you.”

[honeybeedrabble]

can u write a sdv three way smut with elliot and harvey x reader can it include an eiffel tower k thanks

OMG !! MY FIRST SDV ASK !! absolutely.

Sweet Summer 9: AFAB!reader x Elliot x Harvey

CW: inside joke, "cannon" typical violence/pain via smile attack, oral (M and F recieving), eiffel tower, unprotected piv (dont be stupid, wrap it up guys), hair pulling, cream pie (WRAP. IT. UP.) lmk what I missed.

As the new farmer, you had your work cut out for you. Summer had just started a little over a week ago and you were SPENT. With the brutal task of having to fish, forage, farm and mine, all so you could rebuild the community house, it was only natural you were so tired.

One afternoon you were going around CinderSap Forest, rummaging for forage-ables, desperately needing to find a grape anywhere you could. While scavenging a little too close to the secret forest, a slime had come outside and attacked you.

“Shit!” You yelped, jumping back as it shot a dart at your thigh. You rummaged through your bag as it knocked you back, slowly moving towards you with a patronizing pace. You drew your silver saber and sliced through the green creature with ease. You rolled yours eyes as it splat to the ground, slime oozing out of it you could collect for later.

You knelt down to examine your wound, touching the slimy secretion of the poison dart and winced in pain. You cursed yourself for wearing shorts, regardless of how hot it was today. You threw your bag on the ground, digging through it with an increasing anxiety as you couldn’t find a snack to tie you over.

“God dammit!” You threw your bag at a nearby hardwood stump, holding your head in your hands as you pouted at your own stupidity. With a heavy sigh you reached for your bag and got up on your feet, legs tensing up under the effects of the dart. You hobbled out of the forest, taking a few breaks every now and then as you approached town.

As you got closer and closer to the towns clinic, you saw Maru walk out, still in uniform. She saw you approaching rapidly and held the door open for you, a worried look on her face.

“What it is hoe? Everything okay?” She asked, her face curling into an amused smirk. She watched as you clutched your thigh.

“No… I was in the forest and I got fucked up by a slime…” you blushed, embarrassed to admit the small defeat from the green monster. Maru giggled.

“I’ve heard your stories, from killing skeletons to annihilating shadow brutes and yet you get hurt by a slime? You’re one hell of a farmer.” She laughed, readjusting her glasses. You lightheartedly laughed back.

“Well Ms. Scientist, I’d like to see you out there showing off your swordsmanship.” You leaned against the doorway.

“I’d never be carrying something so heavy in a life or death situation, i’d probably have some device to do the work for me.” She said, matter-of-factly with that signature smirk plastered to her face.

“Well when I sell of my crops to Pierre this harvest I’ll buy one off of you.”

“Sounds good. Look, I’m going on my break right now but go ahead and take a seat in the waiting room, Harvey’s a little busy.” She said, still holding the door. You nodded and headed inside, the door shutting behind you.

It felt like forever, sitting in that room all alone while your leg felt like it was threatening to fall off. You writhed in agony, a few grunts and groans spilling out of your lips while you sat in the blue chairs.

“Fuck this bullshit,” You sneered through a clenched jaw, stumbling to the double doors and down the hall to Dr. Harvey’s office. You threw open the door, clutching your thigh so tight your nails could’ve broke skin.

“WHAT THE!-“ The man seated on the bed yelled, clutching a white blanket to his waist, eyes widened with shock. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!” He yelped, face red. Harvey turned around from the cabinets looking you up and down.

“Y-Your leg!” He stared at your thigh, the skin around your wound was red and your face didn’t hide the pain from the attack. “Elliot, would you please get off from the table? The farmer needs urgent medical attention!” His voice was stressed, looking through a cabinet quickly.

“B-But Harvey… I’m indecent…” he blushed, clutching the sheet tightly.

“Listen Elliot, stop messing around…” You groaned, leaning against the other side of the examination table. Elliot got up, quickly wrapping the sheet around his waist as you soon took his spot on the bed. Harvey placed a hand around the wound, a clear substance seeping out.

“It was a slime, wasn’t it?” He asked, wiping the sludge off with a cotton ball.

“How’d you know?” You asked, still clenching your jaw in pain.

“I’ve seen this before. We need to get this out ASAP." He started to squeeze the wound, you yelled in agony, the wound feeling like it was going to burst.

“Stop!” You swatted his hand away. He looked at you with a furrowed brow.

“Listen, I’ve got to get this fluid out before I treat it anymore.”

“No squeezing! It feels like you’re trying to pop the worlds biggest pimple!” You clutched the wound again, looking down at it with worry. Harvey’s hand went to his hair in stress.

“Okay, okay… calm down.” He said, mostly to himself. He took a deep breath. “I need to get some life elixir from the back but before I do I need to get this out of you one way or another. So if you want my help you’re going to have to cooperate.”

“Anything,” you nodded, desperate for alleviation.

“Elliot,” Harvey turned to him. He looked over to Harvey, his eyes blown wide. “You’re going to need to help.”

“Who me? I’m not a doctor, I don’t even know how to give CPR!”

“Elliot please, I’ll just need you to do a simple favor while I look for the elixir.”

“I-I… I don’t know…” He was nervous.

“Elliot please! I swear if you help me out I’ll get you 20 pomegranates next season,” You sighed, looking up at him. His face suddenly brightened before returning to a stoic expression. He nodded, then looked back at Harvey.

“What do you need me to do, Doctor?”

“I know this is a strange request but it has to be done.” Harvey had turned around, grabbing a small cup and handing it to Elliot. “While I go looking for the medicine, I’m going to need you to… to suck out the poison…” Harvey said. Elliot’s eyes widened.

“Suck the poison out?! Are you crazy? It’s poison, I don’t want to get sick.”

“The poison will only effect you if it gets into your bloodstream. As long as you don’t have any cuts or wounds on the inside of your mouth you’ll be safe. Just suck it out and spit it into here and don’t. swallow. it.” Harvey handed him a small cup of water, then turned and bolted over to the door and out, leaving you and Elliot alone.

“Are you okay with this?” Elliot asked, getting down on his knees, his grasp still firm on the sheet around his hips.

“Yes just… please.” You sighed, tears starting to well up. He nodded, silently reminding himself of the promise you made him.

He grabbed your thigh and maneuvered you to the edge of the bed, holding your hips in place. He lowered his lips on the wound and gently sucked the tender skin. You whined, squirming in his grasp. He brought his head up then grabbed the cup, spitting the liquid into it.

“Be still, I need to have you just like this if I’m going to be useful.” He said, his hand returning to your hip. He put his lips to your thigh again and you shuddered, a slight tickle going up your leg. You squirmed again and he sighed.

“If you can’t sit still then at least hold the cup so I can spit it in.” He bargained. You nodded, taking the cup from him and holding it at your hip.

His head ducked down, lips returning once again to your leg. You tried to hold back a breathy sigh, but failed when he started sucking. His warm mouth on your sensitive skin was beyond soothing, it felt almost euphoric. Feeling his plush lips cradle your wound made you feel like your eyes were going to roll back, you clenched them shut. He looked up at you through his long eyelashes, then returned to your leg, getting as much liquid out before spitting into the cup.

Your face was red and your legs twitched as he kept working on your injury, a strain of embarrassing whimpers escaping you every so often. His soft lips clung to your thigh, his fingers digging into your hip absentmindedly. Elliot made the fatal flaw of having. tongue dip out, running along your sensitive skin. Your eyes shot open, his hot tongue raking along your thigh, teasing you of what was just out of reach. This game you both knew was torture, Elliot deduced to only being able to suckle your sweet skin, the sheet covering him for modesty threatening to fall off.

Your hand holding the cup of water set it aside and your hand rested in his long hair. He smirked, licking a stripe along the flesh of your inner thigh. You gave up on stifling your moans and let one slip freely from your mouth. He then licked higher up your leg, his teeth grazing your upper thigh. Your hips bucked, the water beside you almost tipping over. Elliot looked up.

“What did I say about staying still, hm?” He reached for the water, taking some in his mouth and sloshing it around before spitting that into the cup, washing his mouth out.

“S…Sorry I-“ You panted, watching as his head ducked down and his lips attacked your thigh. He licked higher and higher up, his grip intensified as you kept moving against your will.

A soft moan escaped your lips, your core fighting as you watched the beautiful man between your thighs reach up to your waistband and and unbutton your shorts. He slid them off of you, your panties coming down with them and his mouth watered at the sight of your slick folds.

“All of this for me?” He purred, licking up your inner thigh and stopping right at your folds. You bit your lip, looking at the door, hoping the doctor wouldn’t come in and see you in such a compromising position.

“Y-Yeah…” you muttered. Elliot quickly grabbed your asscheeks and dove his head into your pussy, tasting your sweet juices and lapping at your sensitive clit.

You yelped, toes curling and your fingers tangled in his long auburn hair. He let out a few gutteral moans, his nails sinking into your plush cheeks, kneading your ass in his large hands. Your legs started to shake while he ate you out. Your own fingers started pulling on his hair, more beautiful moans were let out from the soft lips that were kissing and licking at your glistening folds.

The door flung open and you both whipped your head over to see Harvey standing inside, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"D-Doctor!" Elliot stammered nervously, standing up and stumbling back against the countertops, knocking over jars of cottonballs and gauze. You were eye level with his massive erection, precum staining the white sheet around his hips a sheer white, his pink-ish brown tip visable from the other side. The blanket teased sliding off his hips, his cum gutters on display for the room. You felt flustered, fully examining his toned body and soft skin.

Suddenly you felt your hair pulled into a pony tail from behind, snapped out of the hypnotized trance you were stuck in. You were pulled back and Harvey looked down at you, a pink bottle in his other hand. You maneuvered your body around to face him on the bed, your ass to Elliot.

Harvey had your hair grasped firmly, ever so slightly having your head tilted up to him, staring up at him through your lashes. His eyes were blown with lust as he tipped the pink bottle of life elixir to your plump lips.

"Say ah," he said, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose as he peered at you from over his lenses. Your jaw hung loose and your pink tongue slipped out, producing a small "ahh" for the doctor.

"Drink." He commanded with a sultry, deep voice, tilting the bottle and watching the sweet liquid flow down your throat, his hand still grasping your hair. You drank the medicine looking up at him, palming the erection growing in his pants. Harvey let out a small grunt, watching as your voice box bobbed up and down with each king gulp.

You felt familiar hands grab at your ass, a slender finger running up and down your folds before sinking deep into your wet cunt. You almost choked on the last bit of the medicine as you let out a whine, Elliot behind you.

“Seems like you need me, hmm?” He asked, his long finger curling inside of you and hitting your spongey g spot that had you dripping into his palm.

Harvey loosened up on your make shift pony tail, his large veiny hand unbuttoning his pants and opening up his zipper for you to admire his length from behind his plaid boxers. You quickly pulled both waist bands down his hips and watched as his member sprung out. You felt Elliot’s finger withdraw from your cunt, the sound of the sheet around his hips hitting the floor had you clench around nothing.

“Be good for me and open that mouth of your again,” Harvey instructed, his pornstache tilting as his lips were pulled into a cocky smirk.

You opened your mouth just like you did for the pink bottle, except this time the liquid seeping out was salty rather than sweet. His girth was rather hefty, your jaw already felt sore as he slowly pushed your head down his length using your hair as leverage. You let out a soft noise, tongue running along a vein that ran down the underside of his length.

Just then, you felt the smooth head of Elliot’s cock gently part you, eliciting a high pitched whine from the back of your throat. Harvey let out a gutteral groan, choking on his own reaction. He twitched in the back of your throat and the feeling sent a shiver down your spine as Elliot continued to thrust into you.

“Beautiful…” he sighed, his hands landing softly, yet firmly on your hips. He tenderly ran a hand along the small of your back, bending down to place a soft kiss at the base of your neck. He watched as you sucked off Harvey and nipped gently at your ear. You clenched around his length and the strained grunt he let out had you seeing stars.

Harvey’s eyes glazed over as he gently cupped your cheek in his palm, thumb caressing your cheekbone. Your drool dribbled down the length of his hard dick, his scent filling your lungs while you slowly began to get more comfortable with his cock. He watched as you kept getting more and more used to what you were working with, the agonizing pace had him throbbing inside your hot mouth, desperate for more. He lightly thrusted his hips deeper into you, stopping when he heard a soft gag. He let you move at your own pace, he couldn’t bare to stop the amazing progress you already made.

You finally took him balls deep in your throat, Elliot rewarding you with soft kisses on your neck while his own hips started to sway back and forth, cock nestling deeper inside of you.

“Such a good job.” Elliot praised, standing back up to join hands with Harvey above their heads.

The two looked down at you from opposite ends, their temples next to each other as Harvey watched Elliot’s cock disappear inside of you and as Elliot watched the way your soft lips wrapped around Harvey’s length. The moans filled the room, along with the sounds of gentle gags from your hollowed cheeks and wet, slapping skin against skin.

Each of Elliot’s powerful thrusts had you pushing up against the deliciously large cock in your throat, Harvey talking you through it.

“Don’t forget to breathe, I know it’s good but we can’t have you passing out on us,” he’d coo, before spitting out a dirty: “Take it, take it deeper… shit. The mouth on this one… fuck you suck some good cock.”

You felt so full, your senses crowded by the men who were using you from both ends. Insides twisting as you were made to be their fuck doll. You felt Harvey’s thumb on your cheek reassuringly caressing you, your drool pooling down your chin and onto your shirt.

“Look at you… such a dirty little farmer, aren’t you?” Harvey teased, his face red as you let him fuck your throat.

You felt your orgasm building up sooner than expected, with the view from the front and the sensation from the back you weren’t at all surprised. Your body felt molten hot, repeatedly whimpering around Harvey’s sensitive tip. Electricity ran through your spine, orgasm crashing over you as your tight cunt was being jackhammered perfectly by the man raw dogging you from behind. You arched your back as you came on Elliot’s cock, mewling desperately around Harvey, the taste of cum soon flooding your mouth as your struggled to swallow every drop.

“Shit- that’s it. It’s too good, I-I- ngh!” Harvey blabbered, cock pulsing as he flowed down your pretty throat.

You clenched around Elliot, lost in his own symphony of moans and delightful noises that echoed throughout the small office. He wanted to pull out but he couldn’t possibly tear himself away from your sweet pussy, thick ropes of cum shooting out from his hard cock and deep into your drenched, velvety walls.

You gasped for air when Harvey pulled out of you, he pulled his boxers and pants back up, buttoning them with ease as he walked to the other side of the bed where Elliot stood. Elliot slowly pulled out, both men ogling how the cum poured out of your soft cunt and onto your thighs, the wound from earlier before already looking better.

“Well Elliot, everything looks good.” Harvey said nonchalantly, picking up a few papers from his countertops. “I’ll send that allergy prescription over to Pierre’s if you want or I can send you a call whenever Maru gets back and you can pick them up here.

Elliot walked over to his pile of clothes on a nearby chair and began to dress himself. “Thank you, Doctor. I think I’ll go ahead and buy them at Pierre’s if that’s alright. I have a few errands to run over there already so it’s just easier that way.”

The two men conversed with each other as if you weren’t a shaken, fucked out mess right next to them. You watched as they talked about the prescription while you tried to settle down. After a few minutes Elliot walked over and kissed you softly on the forehead.

“I’ll be expecting those pomegranates,” he smirked with a wink, running his thumb along your puffy lips. “Come over anytime, you have my key.” He soon left and Harvey sat next to you on the bed, caressing your shakey legs and kissing you softly along your jaw. You hummed blissfully, bringing him in for a soft kiss on the lips.

“Your legs seem to be shaking, is this because of the slime or because of Elliot?” He asked knowingly.

“I-I think it was Elliot,” you blushed.

“Why don’t I give you a confidential check up, huh?” He asked, kissing your plush lips. You bit his lip and he let out a sigh, his glasses sliding down further.

“Lie down and let me take care of you,” Harvey instructed, hands unbuttoning his pants again and palming his already hardening member. “Doctors orders.”

AN: sorry this took so long i lost this fic in google doc, but it wasn’t in google doc ?? so i checked word ?!?!! not there either. turns out it was already in my drafts 💀💀

[orpheusilver]

I am asking about your spiderverse dimension 🎤

yippeeeee okay id better explain what exactly im trying to write here lmao so like. this whole au was originally just an experiment in mapping the spider-person story onto a morbius variant as a joke bc i liked the idea of him being like "i was straight up bitten by a radioactive animal and started doing vigilante crime fighting can you please let me into the multiverse" and miguel going "NO youre literally a villain How did you get this number" but then it kinda spiralled and now theres like themes n shit

so long story short morgan michaels gets bitten by a radioactive vampire bat on a uni trip and wakes up with some weird mutations but doesnt really take much notice, he just goes about his day as normally as he can until he Fucking exsanguinates someone to Death. and takes it Badly. so then while hes trying to cope with that and adjust to the whole "vampire(?) thing" like. finding a non-homicidal way to get blood. he encounters spider-man and goes Hey! You know what would make me feel less shit about that whole murder thing? Doing that!

so he pisses off to try become a superhero and accidentally gets stuck with the name morbius, fucks around w/ doc ock and almost finds out until spidey saves his ass and morbius goes Hey. Im bad at this. Youre good at this. Can i be your sidekick until i figure out what the fuck im doing? and peter goes Hhhhhmmmmm bc He knows morbius is a villain. hes wearing one of them watches hes all caught up on how his canon works. but maybe this one is different..maybe he can fix him.....as in hes literally floating there in front of him asking to be fixed. so he says Yeah okay ill make sure you dont get yourself killed probably

so theyre doing the whole superhero mentor thing for a while, morgan learns and grows amd theres some cool contrasting moments where he handles shit completely differently than spider-man would and changes the trajectory of some established arcs, until eventually hes off doing basic superhero stuff all on his own and goes Hey that guy doesnt have a pulse. Thats kinda weird. so he tracks the guy to this weird secret rave in a factory basement with all these other dead people and at one point they turn on the sprinkler and its full of human blood? which hes so normal about ofc (<- the lying liar) and then this COOL GUY with a COOL JACKET and a COOL SWORD shows up and starts annihilating everyone and morbius goes Whoa cool! and then this guy tries to kill Him and he goes HEY WAIT IM LITERALLY ALIVE and blade goes Thats fucking weird cause youre definitely a vampire so whats your deal. Come with me so i can figure out what your deal is. so then morbius meets blades cool hematologist friend and cool butch biker mom and finds out abt Actual vampires which, it turns out, he definitely isnt hes something else which just seems similar bc [INSERT COMIC-TYPICAL MUTATION BULLSHIT]

they both get tied up in plot stuff and even though it takes a loooong moment for blade to trust him theyre actually a pretty good team, morbius is used to spider-man treating him like a student and, implicitly, a child so its neat that blade treats him like an Equal (albeit an annoying inexperienced equal w/ bad jokes and a worse costume but still) and turns out they actually have a lot in common? and kinda bond really easily? and maybe this whole "edgy-hero-who-kills-things" deal is working wayyyy better for him than the spandexed paragon thing spider-man has going on and that guy is super out of his depth in these circumstances and needs to stop pushing in assuming he knows best just bc hes a """hero""" and actually hes maybe being a total uptight prick about the no murder thing and who died and made him king of new york anyway?? fuck off spider-man i have a cool new friend who Gets Me and will absolutely definitely never judge me for killing someone or succumbing to bloodlust which is definitely totally 100% true and Not a fundamental misinterpretation that will come back to bite me in the ass.

[beevean]

Let's run the gauntlet! Rate each IDW storyline and Netflixvania season against each other! Like who gets first place in shittiness, who gets second third etc

Not really fair since IDW has more arcs, but I'll try :P

The "best" parts of the two works are S1 and... uh... well this is hard, but I'll go with the very beginning of IDW too. There are already some problems (excessive swearing, lack of Grant/Mr. Tinker and everything related to it), but overall, they're solid, short arcs with not many of the problems that would plague later arcs. I like the fight between Trevor and Alucard, and I like Metal Sonic raining fire and brimstone in his quest to revive his master. Nothing much to say.

I would compare the Surge arc with S2, because, well, #girlboss. Those arcs are all about this new shiny villain strutting their stuff around, declaring themselves the hottest shit ever, shittalking the main villain, and being very, very, very annoying (at least Surge isn't a fake radfem, and tbf, the story never wants us to love her because she's a girl). The heroes take a stepback in favor of the OCs, and a few interesting scenes (the fight against Dracula, the potential of Surge's brainwashing and Kit's cutting speech against the "heroes") don't salvage what's ultimately a very boring, drawn out arc. I can also draw a parallel between Sonic being an utter smug asshole, and Alucard being so mean to poor Trevor.

Not sure what I'd compare to S4 because IDW isn't over yet. Mmmh, I hate S4 because of shipteases that lead to infuriating scenes, so... the current arc? The Whispangle apology drama vs. the "cute" Lenector scenes, both examples of jarring morality? Carmilla and Lanoline being both ineffectual unlikeable #girlbosses? An unlikely villain (whatever passes off as Death/a growing city) that diminishes the importance of the original villain? Yeah, let's go with this.

First place in utter shittiness goes, of course, to the MV arc of IDW and S3 of NFCV! Three words to describe them both: pointless misery porn.

Characters suffer in graphic detail for the sake of suffering, the morals (if we want to call them that) are cynical - the world is unfair, you can't trust anyone, if you're kind you will pay for it - some scenes are simply unfit for the series - many The Walking Dead vibes in what's supposed to be a Sonic adaptation, the two random sex scenes in episode 9 - and characters are at their most stupid and most OOC, and dare I say unlikeable - this is where Sonic officially turns into a preaching asshole who thinks begging Eggman to turn good and throwing Espio's trauma in his face are good things (plus, you know, the whole Metal mess), and whatever salvageable things about Hector as an anti-villain get thrown down the drain as he falls for the same "pretty vampire manipulates him" strategy again. The ending has some bullshit choices too: Super Silver manages to somehow rip the metal virus away from the molecules of the infected people, Isaac conveniently is redirected to a giant mirror that would bring him and his army straight to Syria.

And at the end, all that pain? No longer matters! Cream is happy-go-lucky after watching her mother "die" and being infected herself. Alucard gets over his trauma after one episode. Hector is willing to exchange stupid dick jokes with the woman who turned him into a pet.

But fans appreciate their "depth", although in different ways: for the MV arc, it's the whole dark and edgy vibe and the "moral conflict" of "should Sonic have killed Mr. Tinker?" (no the whole problem is that Sonic let Metal go and no one cares); for S3, it's everything about Isaac and his "character development" that is supposedly peak writing (yeah I sure like the poor little thing who stole Hector's arc and also killed a bunch of innocents without that ever being addressed again).

[writer-and-artist27]

Hi dude! I hope you're having a good day. I've been reading your works for a while now and I was wondering if you can share your opinions on Oshi no Ko and its characters (specifically Ai Hoshino). No pressure, though! If this makes you feel uncomfortable, feel free to delete this ask.

Hello to you too, anon. Doing my best to have good days if anything. Only answering this at 10:06 pm on a Saturday night because of finishing a hangout with my best guy friend and my boyfriend, so it's been going well. The question doesn't make me uncomfy at all.

My opinions on Oshi no Ko, huh...

Gotta put it under a cut from how long this answer is turning out to be.

---------------------------------

I really love it. Now at least. It took some growing pains to come to that conclusion, because some of the story beats and character decisions made in-universe need me to turn my empathy off to take it in and not be sensitive/be hurt irl. Especially with the real life research put into said story beats because knowing how much corruption/nepotism can be put into the entertainment industry really is disheartening for me as someone who writes for fun and just wants to help others feel happy in a small way too. (Let it be said when I read into the story of wrestler Hana Kimura and how it might've inspired Akane's first story - I nearly cried and still currently sympathize with Hana's mother from being triggered by watching that particular anime episode.) That's how well-written it is - when I have to take breaks and research ahead of time so I don't get thrown off guard.

Funnily enough, I first heard of it when I started reading and slowly collecting the manga for Kaguya-sama: Love is War. Aka Akasaka was already really famous even amongst my small friend group irl from how he set the standard for new romance comedy, and when Oshi no Ko's anime adaptation was announced, that's when I started seeing the first manga volume pop up in Barnes and Noble stores my boyfriend and I visited together on dates.

I was really wary at first, no thanks to my first exposure to Mengo Yokoyari's art being Scum's Wish (and how uncomfy I was watching clips of that show since I'd been made a middleman to two relationships friends had by then) and how the Internet spoiled me on how Ai was going to die; and add in how they cast Rie Takahashi - as in Mash Kyrielight - as her VA, I was also just scared. Because I love Mash thanks to Fate/Grand Order, I really respect Takahashi's work - the last thing I needed when starting Oshi no Ko was to hear Mash's voice as Ai died.

But once the anime started and my boyfriend let me listen to Idol by YOASOBI - I was a goner. More so when I found the 45510 short story that fans translated from Akasaka that let the fanbase peek into Ai.

Just like how I grew to love Mash, I ended up falling for Ai more than any other character in Oshi no Ko. And, to be completely honest, I think it's from how much I sympathize with Ai. With her desire of trying to find love that's hers because she never truly knew what it was like, I mean. While Mash reminds me of a little sister that I could've wanted, a friend I wanted to look out for, Ai reminds me of the face I sometimes feel myself putting on in public, unconsciously too, especially when working in the healthcare community.

Not everyone is truly honest with themselves. The number of times I've had to hunch into myself on the trolley when others would throw baseless comments like, "Get out of my country, Asian bitch," "You're not my nursing mother, keep your bullshit away from me," and even "You're not God's angel, you fancy hoe" - there's a reason I've started to joke about having my own mini-book of "misadventures." The jokes let me cope with the increasing amounts of bitterness I've been seeing.

I've had to learn how to put on a smile, play up an innocent image of seemingly not hearing darker drama amongst coworkers, even fake cheeriness in my voice to molecular companies over the phone when asking for materials for patient care - because even the "nicest" people can hold the most bitter pills in life. But I have to keep that kind of mask up, just to make sure I make it through another day. To make sure the people I love don't worry more than they need to.

But at the same time, whenever I offer my coworkers a massage to their shoulders, give hugs when I can on bad days - everyone keeps calling me "sweet" and "kind." And it's still hard to believe that sometimes.

Ai told the lie of "I love you" in the hopes of finding love someday. It was hard not to like her when I try to do something kind because I honestly believe it's the right thing to do while wanting to believe in the hope of finding more people who feel the same way. In the hope I can find more people I don't have to be a "cheery star" for all the time.

Because I've been hurt way too many times by falsehoods. Because I've seen enough darkness.

...I forgot where I was going with this, but let it be said the glimpse we get into the entertainment industry mixed in with the very human aspect of all the characters shown in the story - from Ai, Aqua, Ruby, Kana, Akane, Miyako, Ichigo - every single one feels real and my struggles of trying to find myself in a worklife that's had me let go three times despite my best efforts (and bullied to the point of abuse one other time too) feel all the more valid. I guess.

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

Yeah... I'm gonna talk about FAMILY GUY... Long post, incoming!

Actually, I'm seeing some talk about FAMILY GUY, specifically early FAMILY GUY, elsewhere. As of late. Because the TED Peacock series, based on a now 12-year-old movie, is out. And apparently it's pretty good? Reminiscent of the early seasons of FAMILY GUY, which people who actually like the show consider to be the series' best seasons? I couldn't tell you.

Coincidentally, I've re-watched most of Seasons 1-3 now that my Disney+ plan includes Hulu. The seasons produced and aired *before* FAMILY GUY was here to stay. FOX had cancelled the show twice in the early 2000s, and when it came back for the second time, it never left. It's now one of those long-running cartoons, ubiquitous with the word "cartoon" you could say, a new season almost every year.

I'm gonna be a total hipster and say that I was onboard the FAMILY GUY train as early as mid-2003 ish.

I was in fifth grade, and was at the time starting to stay up later than usual to watch a little thing called [adult swim]...

FAMILY GUY had just started airing on [adult swim], almost a year after its then-final episode - 'Family Guy Viewer Mail #1' - had aired on FOX. A classmate of mine had told me about it, and little by little, I was watching FAMILY GUY regularly. Even on school nights, low volume, haha. I didn't want to get in trouble. Life in the early 2000s was different, to any smartphone-era babies reading.

I didn't know anybody else in school at the time, sans a few classmates, who watched the show. It was like we five or so kids were the only ones who knew of its existence in my town (along w/ the original [as] shows, like AQUA TEEN and SEALAB 2021), which is kind of wild to think. I think by mid-2004, I'd seen every episode of the show to date, including the one that FOX was too cold-footed to air (for understandable reasons, especially in the early 2000s. The episode in question is probably tame compared to what the show would later "get away with"). And it was on almost every night, so I only had to wait 24 hours to see a FAMILY GUY episode I may have never seen... So catch-up was pretty easy!

I think part of the appeal for me - at age 10/11 - was definitely "haha this is a naughty show and I probably shouldn't be watching it" (though weirdly, my mother and stepdad let me watch a SOUTH PARK episode or two, I don't remember that show being off-limits) aspect. Another reason is kind of weirder, and I came to this realization rather recently-ish. Around 4th/5th grade, some things bothered young me. Growing up autistic wasn't always easy, and my way of processing the way world can be and how unfair life can be sometimes kinda... Made me act strange, in ways? I definitely had this "old soul" kinda bullshit going on at certain points in my kid life, when I should've been loose and funny and laughing at fart jokes. And I was at times, don't get me wrong. It's not like I was miserable or anything, or bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders, but some days I'd feel... Strange. And I was weirdly anti-some things that the typical kid finds funny or amusing. I don't know if I can fully articulate it now on a tumblr post, but the long story-short is... [adult swim] was one of the things that helped loosen me up a bit.

Going into middle school at age 10-going-on-11 (I started school early?) was not easy, and that accelerated a lot of things, a lot of feelings, a lot of complications in my brain... And my embrace of [adult swim] started to converge with that, and by 7th grade, I was really, really loose. I swore more, I wrote edgy stuff, I upped like most of my original stories I was writing to PG-13/R-level, I was a silly little edgelord sometimes. But at the same time, unleashing a lot of *that* after a few years of this weird pseudo-old soul nonsense, bad habits, and general confusion was a very fun and freeing feeling!

This is why, despite a lot of shit that should've made that time in my life a nightmare, late 2004-early 2005 was a really exciting time in my life. I think just letting the proverbial hair down was a big reason why, alongside all of my hyperfixations that I always turned to when things really sucked. Things such as Pixar movies and BIONICLE and Cartoon Network stuff and various video games, etc. etc. etc. And smack-dab in the middle of all this was my nightly [adult swim] viewings before I had to get up at 6:30am to wait for the bus on cold-ass mornings. FUTURAMA, FAMILY GUY, AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE, THE BRAK SHOW, on and on... It was the stuff I could turn to.

For Christmas in 2004, I was given a newly-released FAMILY GUY DVD called "The Freakin' Sweet Collection"... I probably wore that poor disc out. Creator Seth MacFarlane's 5 favorite episodes, ones that I still find to be bangers to this day, plus some bonus features. FAMILY GUY was a prime special interest of mine at the time, and eventually I went to a music store that went out of business many years ago and picked up the DVD sets compiling Seasons 1, 2 & 3... And subsequently wore all of those out throughout 2005. They're but gone, now... Though some stores sell a whole box set with like, what, the first 10 seasons of the show for a fair price? I may or may not buy that if the discs aren't updated from the original 2000s versions. Anyways, FAMILY GUY, yeah... I just really, really liked it back then.

Really, I was the perfect age for it at the time. FAMILY GUY has always been contested, regularly seen as one of the nadirs of animated trash. You can definitely make a case for that. As much as I dig early FAMILY GUY, some of its humor really has not aged well, and is indeed offensive in many ways. For me, I feel those pre-2nd cancellation seasons have a charm to them to shines through the more egregious stuff. A charm that noticeably fades away from Season 4-onwards. You see, being from Connecticut, where MacFarlane was born... FAMILY GUY is *very* New England to me. After all, it is set in a fictional Rhode Island town, the state the neighbors me.

The show started airing in 1999, and while I wasn't watching it back then (let alone had even heard of it), I feel a lot of the character interactions, dialogue, and setting really do capture the feeling of being there. In a New England state, in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Little nuances and such, the way Peter and Lois joke about things in particular. Such as this scene from Season 2's 'E Peterbus Unum':

I don't know how to put it in words, but it's very New England to me. My family and I interacted like this quite frequently. Plus, you have Peter's voice being inspired by a security guard that Seth overheard when attending the Rhode Island School of Design, a very New England accent. Lois, too, to some extent. I hear a middle-aged Connecticut mom or aunt in Alex Borstein's delivery, whom she based on a relative of hers. Maybe that's why I initially connected to this show more so than THE SIMPSONS back in the day (and at that time, THE SIMPSONS was on its not-so-beloved seasons), I was too inept to grasp THE SIMPSONS' wit. It hit just right, I think, back then.

Now, upon learning that the show had been cancelled and that it was actually coming back... Within a few months... You bet I was excited? I remember the Sunday the fourth season premiere aired, my family and I gathered around to watch it, and I just remember all of us laughing like hyenas throughout. The episode had so much wackiness and a bunch of cameos as well. We also watched the AMERICAN DAD! episode that dropped right after, but I mostly remember when I first saw 'North by North Quahog'. What a night that was, lol. And you just, went home... Didn't tweet about it. I didn't have any message board accounts at the time, either, so... A couple of classmates to talk to about it, that was it. A lot of my classmates apparently still hadn't seen the show by this time. I mostly remember being ahead of the game when it came to this show, liking it before it was cool, you could say. Once others in my school started referencing it, it was like "I had you beat by almost 2 years." I also remember getting a T-shirt depicting the Griffins beating each other up, as seen in the episode 'Lethal Weapons'. And I remember some of the other kids thinking that was so cool, and one teacher - who probably couldn't stand me, to begin with - calling me to the front of the class to see exactly *what* was on that shirt. Surprisingly, I did *not* get in trouble...

(Not my photo, this is from an eBay listing... But it was THIS exact shirt. Only thing was missing was the horse's ass portrait!)

Later in the year, a DVD called 'Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story' was released, which I instantly put on my birthday list. It was kinda billed as "The FAMILY GUY Movie" when it was coming out, and of course my 13-year-old arse fell for it... And wore that DVD out, too... And then it aired as three separate episodes - albeit with missing footage because this was a DVD release and not a primetime TV airing - the following spring. Still, I have fond memories of getting that DVD and many others. The early DVD era was just so fun back then, what with interactive menus and much more care put into bonus features. And with less distractions back then, I feel you felt more immersed in the movies and content on the discs... Just sitting in your bedroom, you hadn't owned a laptop yet, smartphones didn't exist... Just, entranced in whatever it was you had on. It gets even more bittersweet nowadays, as stores and companies are trying to phase out physical media. How obtuse... But that's another rant for another day...

I would continue to watch FAMILY GUY regularly, and then slid off by around 2008-09ish. The show was beginning to change for the worst, I felt, and I definitely felt that original spark from the early seasons was kind of gone. The simplicity, the New England vibe, the characters feeling a lot more real and not just springboards for whatever dumb stuff they were coming up with. Seth's involvement was apparently minimal by this point in time, as he already had AMERICAN DAD!, THE CLEVELAND SHOW, the first TED movie, and other stuff in the works or bubbling up at the time. By 2011-12ish, I was getting rather actively pissed off at the show, and only checked back in when that "Brian dies" publicity stunt had happened. Otherwise, I've seen very few episodes of the show afterwards, and most of them didn't impress me... Outside of, surprisingly, a few selections from the Disney batch. Quite something! If you time-traveled to 2004 and told me that Disney was going to own this cartoon that I was watching on [adult swim] late at night without my folks knowing, I would've told you to get out of town!

But I hold a special place for those first three seasons, and watching the DVD sets of them back in early 2005, as an unhinged middle schooler. I won't posit that early FAMILY GUY is some kind of underrated gem in the history of television animation. It really is, in most iterations, perhaps the personification of that old Chuck Jones quote about "illustrated radio". Television animation that you don't watch for the animation or visuals, but solely for the writing. It pretty much is that, even if the designs of the Griffins are instantly recognizable and iconic. And it arguably had a bad influence, not the fault of the show or its creators, but of the way things go.

I came to the conclusion that Season 2 is my favorite of the original three. For me it was the most focused, the characters were at their best, banger jokes a minute and clever use of pop cultural references. I can even sense some of Seth's Cartoon Network roots in a lot of it, which is no surprise given that this show evolved out of a project he developed for CN. Season 1 is only seven episodes long and they were figuring things out, Season 3 has highs that equal that of Season 2's best moments, but I feel that parts of it kinda plant the seeds for what the show would eventually become. It noticeably gets denser, a little meaner, characters are more out-of-character, it tries to be even more offensive than before and sometimes really not sticking the landing. And yet, that's mashed up against a legit emotional episode like 'Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows'.

In fact, those last four or so half-hours... Especially with the redone end credits music that re-imagines the theme song as a big band production, there was a weird sort-of... I dunno, finality to it? And that's not counting the S2 leftover that FOX wasn't keen on airing... I mean the original ending of S3, 'Family Guy Viewer Mail #1'... It was if they knew that Season 3 was going to be the end? You had the aforementioned Wallows/Swallows, then 'Stuck Together, Torn Apart', then another "Road To" episode with 'Road To Europe', and then 'Viewer Mail #1'. Like four really well-done character-focused episodes with some heartfelt moments, even... And then as a coda, three fun skits based on wacky ideas... Like, had the show ended there in early 2002 with the recalled Weinstein episode popping up somewhere else in the future... That would've been a fine way to go out, honestly. Even as a preteen back then, I felt just that watching these episodes... So it was a big surprise to me when I found out that Season 4 was a go. And S4 would use that same 2nd rendition of the end credits theme, so that was even more unusual for me.

Yeah, FAMILY GUY... It's a part of my weird-ass life. And there's probably whole holes of other stuff related to this show and other things that I could waffle on about regarding my preteen years, but... I'll just cap it off here, lol.

[robotface]

Foundation by Isaac Asimov

I've just read the first book, not the whole trilogy yet.

I was expecting it to be really dry, I don't know why. The last book I read by Asimov must have been when I was in middle school and I think it was above my reading level. Also, I had been told it was "focused on politics" and spanned several generations in its story so my closest frame of reference for what to expect was Dune.

It's actually more like a series of mostly self-contained short stories with a few decades from each one to the next, and the writing is very engaging. If you like Ursula Le Guin's Hainish cycle, Asimov seems to be interested in similar concepts with Foundation, albeit with worse politics.

I liked it a lot, but the things I didn't like are more interesting for me to write about so I'm going to just rip into it. Spoilers, I guess:

There's FTL travel, laser guns, and nuclear reactors you can fit in your pocket in this world, but they aren't super consequential. They're there, but not really explored. The real Sci Fi Thing that this book is about is Psychohistory: a field of mathematics that can be used to predict the trajectories of large populations of people and the various forces that move through them such as religion, economics, and nationalism. It's established at the beginning that it can be used to predict the actions of an individual, but it's not particularly suited to the task and requires a great deal of careful study of the person in question.

In the first chapter, The Smartest Most Geniusest Psychohistory Boy uses his big brain powers to predict the course of human history for the next several thousand years, and sets events in motion to minimize the period of time between the galactic empire collapsing and a new one taking form to just 1000 years.

Already I'm not really on board with the idea that a galactic empire is even a good thing to have. There's never really any challenge to that claim, and the book also seems to assume that it's so self-evidently desirable that it doesn't even need to try to convince the reader of it. Asimov doesn't pretend such an empire could sustain itself forever, but the time of "anarchy" (Asimov's word) between is filled with feudalism, tyranny, corruption, barbarianism, religious dogmatism, and anti-science thinking. The ideal setup is to keep those periods briefand the rule of the empires long. Maybe later in the series this outlook will be further interrogated and developed but for now I don't think there's any evidence there's supposed to be an unreliable narrator or anything, I just think Asimov's politics are bad.

Anyways, Psychohistory is supposed to work best on massive populations, right? Well, it turns out the rest of the book is some Great Man Theory bullshit where every chapter one guy singlehandedly changes the course of human history to the next crucial stage that Special Psychohistory Boy had planned out. So is this Psychohistory working on large populations or not? He certainly didn't have the opportunity to closely study any of these one guys, most of them weren't even born yet when he died. He predicts a couple events out to the exact day! Am I going insane? They keep talking throughout the book about how it needs to be driven by the "blind masses", but the actual plot is just a series of one guys being crucial to events unfolding the way they do.

I know I identified it as the big Sci Fi Thing in the series, which means you aren't supposed to ask too many questions because eventually the answer has to be "it just works". But when the Sci Fi Thing is FTL, you don't say that it works one way in chapter one and then have it actually work a different way for the rest of the book.

Last big problem: until the final chapter, there's no evidence there are any women at all in the entire galaxy, like, they're not even alluded to outside of a single joke in chapter one ("100000 men" "actually I think you're counting women and children as well"). Not a single one! And the one woman character is basically a clue about who's giving one faction nuclear weapons: she's been married over to their leader from another faction as a treaty. If she wasn't in the story we'd figure it out a few pages later anyway. I know "sci fi of that era was just like that" but seriously I've read fucking Conan the Barbarian novels with better written female characters. Still not great, but at least they "exist" and "have goals and motivations" which they "pursue and effect the course of the plot"

Finally, a tiny nitpick: throughout the book there are excerpts from the "Encyclopedia Galactica" which have a serious tone issue. They're just written in the same Isaac Asimov voice the rest of the book is written in! They're trying too hard to be dramatic and clever, and I just can't accept the idea that they're supposed to be encyclopedia articles. I just kept imagining how if they were on Wikipedia they would get WP:NPOVed in a heartbeat.

[mintsugalab]

idiots - min yoongi x reader

genre/tags: the most disgusting of fluff, seriously, slight hint of angst but really, mostly just fluff; friends to lovers, reader has never been in a relationship, first time kiss, reader has a crush on yoongi, lots of awkwardness

pairing: min yoongi/reader

word count: 2,8k

you can also read it on AO3

a/n: okay so, I had a VERY long break from writing and this is the first thing I actually finished since then so it’s definitely not the best. And definitely cliché lol. (It was literally supposed to be a really short drabble to get me out of the writer’s block but oh well, somehow it became almost 3 words - I blame yoongi for this honestly, lately he just looks to good not to write stories about him). So yeah, hope you enjoy 😅

“So you’re telling me that you’ve literally never even kissed anyone?” he asked, repositioning himself on the sofa, turning his face into your direction, a slightly shocked expression decorating his features.

“Hey, it’s not like it’s my fault! And I did not tell you this, just so you could judge me, you promised you wouldn’t do that!” you answered his question, a mix of anger and embarrassment visible on your face as you avoided his gaze.

You certainly didn’t expect your evening to take this turn. It started pretty innocently, just as many other evenings before that. You two would hang out, order a takeaway and pretend to watch a movie, when in fact, you always ended up talking about everything that has happened in your lives since your last meeting, totally not paying attention to what was happening on the screen. These evenings became some sort of little tradition for either of you, as well as an important part of your friendship. You especially enjoyed them, because Yoongi, despite his sarcastic and grumpy demeanour, was the best friends you’ve ever had. Many would say that it’s a bit of an overstatement, considering your friendship haven’t lasted very long, but you didn’t remember the last time you’ve felt that comfortable with someone.

You trusted him with all your problems… well, almost all of them. There was only one issue, that you absolutely couldn’t tell him.

Because, of course, you had to be this one cliché girl who fell in love with her best friend. But honestly, who wouldn’t? It’s not even the fact that he was incredibly attractive (which seriously,  he was so handsome it was a bit unfair), but the way he talked, the kind of advice he gave you or even the kind of shitty jokes he would say to make you laugh… All of it just came together to create this imperfect man, who couldn’t be more perfect in your eyes.

So when during your usual shit-talking session, which always had place at your hangouts, came up the topic of relationships, you started to feel a little uneasy. I mean, you were eager to talk about other people, but you couldn’t help to feel anxious as the topic started to move to you.

When Yoongi asked you about your previous relationships, you weren’t quite sure what to answer. You’ve never experienced being in one, not to even mention the simple things such as holding hands or kissing. Not that it was something to be ashamed of. However, it wasn’t exactly the thing that would put you in a flattering light in front of your crush.

“I am not judging!”, he protested immediately, “I’m sorry, it’s just a bit shocking. I don’t mean to make you feel bad, but like… how?” Yoongi scooted a bit closer to you, visibly curious and waiting for you to continue.

“I don’t know how. It just never happened”, you tried your best to appear confident, despite the uncomfortable subject and unpleasant sting in your heart, “I guess, people did not find me interesting enough to want to go out with me.”

You attempted to be cool about it and laugh it off, but it came off rather pathetic, especially when the only place you could look was your hands, which you were fidgeting with. So much for your confidence.

“Okay, that’s just bullshit”, you heard Yoongi say, as you finally glanced meekly at him. “Don’t say such things about yourself. Not being in a relationship does not set your value as a person. And besides,” he smirked at you, and added in an ironic tone, “I wouldn’t hang out with you if you weren’t interesting, like, come on, I have standards.”

“Wow, I am honoured then. I didn’t realize it’s such a privilege to hang out with you.” You matched his ironic answer, glad to ease the tension between you and feeling comforted by his words.

“Ah yes, you see, I usually hand people a quick questionnaire to fill before I talk to them. You know, just to see if they are worth my time.” he played along, trying to hide the smile which started to grow wider on his face. But then, after a second, he turned serious again. “I’m really sorry I asked this question. I feel like I forced you to share something you’re not comfortable with.”

“No, it’s okay. Just a little embarrassing.”, you chuckled lightly. Yoongi looked at you, puzzled, waiting for your next words. “You know, most people my age are in committed relationships, or at least they had been in one, and me? I’ve never even been on a single date, let alone kissed somebody. I don’t even know how to kiss, it would be so awkward.” You said, half jokingly, half seriously.

There was a moment of silence, only faint sounds of Ten Inch Hero could be heard in the background, the movie itself long forgotten by both of you. You looked at Yoongi, who was sitting on the opposite side of the couch. He seemed deep in thought, you swear you could see the cogs turning in his head.

Just when the atmosphere was starting to get a little uneasy, he finally spoke.

“I could teach you.”

“What?” you replied, confused.

“I could teach you how to kiss. I mean, it’s not rocket science,” he shrugged but avoided eye contact. “You know, just to get you comfortable with it, so it’d be easier when you actually meet someone.”

You sat there, weighting your options. The idea of kissing your crush was tempting. You had one hundred percent certainty that he wouldn’t judge you, and what’s more important, you were given a perfect opportunity to share this moment with someone you actually liked a lot. Although, as great as it sounded, you knew that it was a “no strings attached, one-time thing” kind of  deal. So you definitely would be screwed for the rest of your relationships, having to try acting as if nothing happened.

“You know, forget it,” he started to speak again, less confidently now, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s just something that popped into my mind, I don’t want you to feel pressured  to- “.

“No, I want to do it.” You quickly interrupted Yoongi, not knowing whether to mentally congratulate or curse yourself.

“Wait, really?” you were met with his shocked expression.

“Well, don’t act so surprised, it was your idea, after all,” you crossed your shoulders, slightly pouting.

“No, of course! Let’s do it, then,” he answered, and although he tried to appear unbothered, you could swear his lips twitched in a shadow of a smile.

Both of you tried to move a little but were hesitant to get closer, so instead of actually closing the distance between yourselves, you just awkwardly twitched in place. Yoongi chuckled at your failed attempt and decided to take matter into his own hands.

He stood up and sat back down on the couch, but this time much closer, in a way you were only a few centimetres apart. Looking at his face from such close distance filled you with a mix of awe and nervous excitement. His delicate, almost doll-like features looked close to magical in soft, warm light of the living room lamp. His eyes sparkling, looking at you with emotions that made you melt, even though you couldn’t quite put a finger on what they were. And his hair, soft and shiny, (now slightly longer than usual, but you couldn’t complain because it looked gorgeous) practically inviting you to slide your fingers through it. You should have realized you were staring at him for way too long, but you were brought back to reality only after Yoongi called your name.

“Hey, y/n! What? What are you looking at?” he asked, grinning. You felt your cheeks heat up.

“Sorry, just lost in thought.” You quickly answered, trying to make it look as if you were just anxious, and definitely not checking out your handsome best friend.

“You don’t have to be nervous about it, it’s just me,” he tried to reassure you. “And you can still back out, you know that, right? I won’t be offended.”

You looked at him fondly, he was always so considerate of you, it was impossible not to feel at ease in his company.

“Well, maybe a little bit,” he added, making the atmosphere lighten again while it filled with your laughter. “I mean, look at me. You should feel lucky, most people would kill to be in your place right now. It’s not something I offer every day.”

“I sure hope so,” you responded, shaking your head and smiling, “God, you’re impossible, you know that?”

“It’s all part of my charm, sweetheart.” A cocky smile appeared on his face as he said the pet name, making your heart skip a bit at the sound of it coming from his lips. “Okay, are you ready?”

You nodded your head, despite being far from said thing.

You watched as his hand travelled to your face, taking a loose strand of your hair and putting it behind your ear. As his face was gradually getting closer to yours, his long fingers started gently grazing your jaw line. His touch was so light, so barely there, it tickled, and you couldn’t help but giggle and pull back.

“Sorry, I’m just very ticklish, “ you explained yourself, laughing as his face turned to amused disbelief.

“Yeah, I noticed,” he said while poking your sides, earning another laugh outburst from you.

Yoongi waited a moment for you to calm down and tried again, this time placing his hand delicately on your cheek as he closed the distance between both of you. Before you could know, his soft lips were on yours in a gentle, feather-like kiss. He pulled back only for a little moment to study your expression, and then quickly came back to kissing you, this time more confidently, while putting his other hand on your waist.

After a while, he gently licked your lip, asking for permission to take the next step and slip his tongue to pleasantly slide over yours . It took you a few seconds to match his movements, but despite these few moments of awkwardness, it felt so good.

He tasted sweet with a hint of bitterness, like the dark chocolate you were eating before. The mixture of the taste, the smell of his perfume, the feeling of his hands on your body and the softness of his lips was intoxicating and made you longing for more. And even though, you felt like you were on cloud nine, at the same time, the mere thought of not being able to do it every day made your heart break a little.

You pulled away, short of breath and a little dizzy, keeping your eyes closed as you felt his hand move from your waist to cup your other cheek and rest his forehead on yours.

 “So, how was it?” you asked, moving back just to look at him, struggling to remain eye contact. He stirred in his seat and cleared his throat, quickly taking his hands away from your face, suddenly looking disconcerted now, under your gaze.

“Eh, you… you actually did well. You’re- umm, you’re a natural, I think,” he stuttered, a slight pink tint covering his pale cheeks. Unexpectedly, he stood up and looked around, putting his hand in the back pocket of his jeans. “You know, I think I should get going. I have work tomorrow and have to wake up early.”

“Oh… Okay, if you want to,” you said, couldn’t help but feel a little hurt and disappointed. Not that you were counting on something more, but you surely didn’t expect to be greeted by this sudden cold behaviour, especially after you thought it was all going so well.

You watched as he collected his stuff from the table in a hurry and walked towards the front door. You joined him, waiting for him to put his shoes on.

“Listen, if I did something wrong, please tell-” you started but was quickly interrupted by Yoongi’s response.

“No, you have nothing to apologize for.”

You didn’t know what else to say, so you just settled for the safest option, despite it being far from ideal.

“Text me when you get home, okay?”

“Yeah”, he murmured, nodding his head slightly while opening the door and stepping outside.

The door closed with a quiet click, and you sighed, releasing breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. You leaned on the wall next to you, trying to make sense of this whole situation. The entire kissing idea was obviously a mistake, and you wanted to regret it, but your lips still tingled at the memory of his actions. How can something feel so right, when it clearly wasn’t supposed to happen?

You couldn’t even blame it on alcohol or anything like that, both of you were stone-cold sober. You also couldn’t bring yourself to blame Yoongi, after all, it was you who agreed to the offer. Even though you wanted to be mad at him, especially after he stormed off your apartment so abruptly.

Anxiety flooded your mind. You needed to talk to him, maybe try to convince him to forget this evening and pretend like nothing happened. You simply couldn’t lose him, even if it meant hiding your true feelings. Not the healthiest way, you know it, but in the heat of the moment it seemed like your only option.

You didn’t know for you long you were standing in the hallway but just when you were about to come back to the living room and start cleaning up after your disaster of an evening, you heard faint knocking coming from the door. Cautiously, you approached the door and looked through the peephole, just to see Yoongi standing in front of it, distress visible on his face. You hesitated for a second, but decided to open the door and confront him.

“What are you doing here? I thought you went home.”

“Yeah, I wanted to but,” he sucked in some air, his hand fiddling with a bracelet on his other wrist, “I just couldn’t leave before I apologized. You know I’m terrible at expressing my feelings, and this is pathetic excuse but instead of actually telling you what I felt, I thought it would be better to just run away,” you watched as he laughed dryly, still standing on the doorstep. “I basically acted like a jerk.”

“I’m not going to lie, you did just a little bit.” You admitted.

“It was not okay, especially when I knew how you felt about all this and how important it was to you. I’m so sorry. But also, I came here because you deserve to know the reason why I just ditched you like that.”

He looked like he was fighting with his own thoughts, opening his mouth and closing it all over again a few times. He rubbed his face with his hands, letting out a shaky breath while his lips curved in a helpless smile.

“Shit, why is it so hard to say… Okay, at this point our friendship is pretty much ruined, so fuck it.” He paused for a moment and then mumbled something under his nose. You looked at him, incredibly confused because you did not understand a single word. Yoongi looked defeated, so he repeated the words this time loud and clear.

“I like you. And not as a friend. I wanted to tell you countless times, but every moment seemed wrong and, well… I’m a horrible coward, I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you. And I thought I would be satisfied with being just friends, but today… I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. I saw a chance and I took it, but it was a mistake and- what?”

His rambling was interrupted by you, laughing in disbelief.

“Are you kidding me, Min Yoongi?” you looked at him as he stood there, visibly disoriented.

“No! I would never joke about something like that, and definitely not to you, what on earth are you thinking?”

“You are such an idiot.”

“Well, fuck you too.” He was about to say something in his defence, crossing his arms, but his words were cut off by your hand grabbing a handful of his sweatshirt and your lips connecting in a sweet kiss.

“Why- Wha… What did you just do?”

“I kissed you,” your lips formed into a thin line, trying to hide the smile that was forming on your face. “Because I like you too. I liked you for a long time, but I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

His hands grabbed your waist and bringing your body closer to his.

“And you said I’m an idiot. I can’t believe we were both too scared to say anything. I think we’re perfect for each other, we’re both unbelievably stupid.” He laughed, his gummy smile showing. “Can I come in? I promise, I won’t run away this time.”

[olderthannetfic]

Is anyone else getting increasingly creeped out by the "conflict in stories is never necessary! Conflict is just a thing Westerners put everywhere in their media because they're so aggressive and individualistic that they can't imagine going through life without antagonizing other people! Look at Asian storytelling, THAT doesn't have conflict!!!" brigade? Because personally, I'm just waiting for them to pull some creepy Noble Savages shit about how Asian people are all so enlightened and peaceful and we should all take up yoga or whatever to get on their level.

... also, I have no fucking idea which "Asian storytelling" they're even talking about. Like, I could definitely see them shun any modern Asian media involving any sort of internal or external conflict because "but that's clearly been influenced by the evil Westerners!!!" or whatever. But even looking at traditional literatures, from what I remember of Genji monogatari, Journey into the West, and the Ramayana, those aren't exactly 100% conflict-free static narratives about people always being perfectly happy and content and effortlessly getting whatever they want the moment they realize they want it, either.

--

Spoiler: it all comes down to a 2012 tumblr essay by the art collective still eating oranges:

The significance of plot without conflict

Wikipedia’s dramatic structures article comments “It is notable as one of the story structures that emphasizes no conflict.” but then cites only this tumblr essay.

Frankly, it’s bullshit.

Sure, the structure isn’t defined by conflict, but it can certainly accommodate it. The conflictless examples are often poetry, not long-form narrative fiction. Even that dumbass essay is talking about slice of life 4koma.

You know what else has the structure of intro+rambling anecdote+twist+conclusion?

A joke.

It’s the structure of a fucking joke, guys.

The only thing distinctive here is the way we choose to talk about the plot beats in some long narrative. You can take a novel and apply Western three-act or five-act structure or East Asian 4-act structure. The actual plot beats that make up an exciting adventure tale are the same. It’s the lens you choose to analyze it through that changes.

The big thing facile analyses miss is that these structures are imposed after the fact. They’re a way of taking a thing we already liked and going “Okay, but why does this one work?”

The other big thing it misses is that “conflict” does not mean enemies or violent disagreement. In any plot longer than said slice of life 4koma, there tends to be some kind of unmet need or a choice between things.

Wikipedia’s article on Kishōtenketsu, which does not mention “conflict” or this tumbr essay at all, is far better at explaining the conceptual structure. If you read the examples for fairytales rather than 4-line poetry, it becomes clear that the differences between this and Western structures are at best that it favors a picaresque narrative at the beginning rather than an inciting incident.

And to be perfectly honest, fucktons of East Asian media, including old shit, features a classic inciting incident. Some of it has rambling travelogue parts, but so does older Western literature. Tight, unified plots without digressions are for pulp novels and films in a time of media plenty. Long-ass books with a chapter on the sewers make sense when you have fewer total works and they’re consumed in a different context.

That essay makes sense if you’re a collective of short-form slice of life comics artists from the West.

I do not think it is a good explanation of how East Asia writes long-form narrative fiction.

[tomhardyspinkyfinger]

The Good Girl and the Gangster: 4

Summary: Alfie tries to prove to Y/N he isn't worth her affection. It backfires.

A/N: Chapter 4! I hope y'all enjoy! I wanna try and get the fifth chapter out soon but we'll see how that works out hahaha. Please please let me know your thoughts! Hearing your opinions on this story is what encourages me to keep writing!

Tags: @woofgocows @buttercup32sstuff @rikki-b-lake

Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

"I don't want to marry Jacob. I want to be with you."

A beat of silence.

"No you don't, treacle." Alfie muttered. I huffed and dropped my fork on my plate.

"That's shit! Don't tell me what I do and don't want, like I'm some stupid child! Why can't you just respect me as a grown woman?" I questioned.

"I do. That is why you do not want to waste your fuckin' time on a right bastard like me. I'm no fuckin' good." He defended.

"That is not your decision to make. I want to be with you. You need to be man enough and reject me if you don't want to be with me instead of formulating some bullshit about being a bastard." I spoke, crossing my arms.

"Right. Come out with me tonight. If my crowd doesn't scare you off, we'll talk, yeah?" Alfie spoke, interlocking his hands and leaning forward on the table.

"Well.. what do I tell my father?" I questioned.

"Tell him you're stayin' in Camden to fuck Alfie Solomons." He replied with a grin. I huffed and pushed back a laugh.

"That is not what I said. I said I want to be with you not I want you." I corrected.

"Ain't what you was sayin' with my tongue buried in your cunt." He shot back, lowering his voice some. My face flushed and I looked away, getting aroused again at the idea of his beard scratching the skin of my thighs.

"Gettin' distracted? I'll pay the tab and we can go at it again." Alfie teased, pulling me out of my haze. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

Alfie paid the bill and instructed me to meet him at the address he left on a napkin for me. He wanted to drive me but I insisted my father would find out and lose his mind. I had never lied to my parents like this, so it needed to go smoothly.

I entered the temple after a short walk in the early-evening humidity and saw my father arranging some books. He saw me enter and kissed my cheeks.

"Hello my love, how was shopping?" He questioned, holding my arms gently in his hands.

"Fine, I actually ran into Mabel. She is staying in town with her aunt. She invited me to stay with them for the night and have dinner, would that be alright?" I questioned, growing anxious.

"I don't know.. your mother would not be very happy, and temple is tomorrow morning, you never miss temple." My father spoke.

"Father, I am an adult. I will attend temple with Mabel and her aunt. Mother will be fine, we could use the space apart anyways." I practically pleaded.

"You're right about that, your mother has been horrid about the wedding. Don't tell her I said that." My father spoke with a smile. I chuckled and my father kissed my forehead before releasing me.

"Alright darling, go and have fun. You call the house and I'll be back here to get you as quick as possible." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his protectiveness. I nodded and bid him goodbye before practically skipping off to Alfie's house.

I knocked on the door and he opened, wearing slacks and just his white shirt. I smiled at him and stepped inside. He shut the door behind me and watched me as I examined his home. It was a quaint but well-decorated town home. I entered the living room with Alfie following.

"Daddy's angel ain't so pure, is she?" Alfie teased, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against his chest.

"I think that was pretty obvious earlier." I joked. He chuckled deeply and spun me around. He leaned in close to my lips and my eyes closed.

"Let's go, party starts soon." He spoke, pulling away. I huffed and let him lead me to the car. We drove, talking about anything and everything until we stopped at another townhome. All the lights were on and I could hear music and people talking from the car. The sun had set completely now, but the night was still young. Alfie helped me out of the car and walked us into the home.

The chaos struck me immediately. The room was packed with all kinds of people, most smoking, drinking, or snorting a powder. The men and women danced to the live band squished in the corner of the room, the women wearing very minimal and the men touching their bodies sensually. I looked to Alfie. Before I could ask him the first million questions that popped in my head a woman bounded towards us. She was a short, beautiful pale woman with red hair.

"Alfred! Finally you come to my party!" The woman shouted, wrapping her arms around Alfie's frame. He patted her back and smiled.

"Figured I'd drop in." He responded. She looked to me and lit up.

"Who is this little lady!" She exclaimed.

"I'm Y/N." I spoke, my hand out for her to shake. She yanked me into her arms and hugged me tight. She pulled away and held my hands.

"Name's Elise. Been friends with this old man for years now. Met on the streets. Sweet thing helped me when times were rough. Did he make you wear these church girl rags?" She questioned. When neither Alfie or I responded, her jaw dropped.

"Alfred. Don't tell me this is who I think it is." She looked between us and Alfie nodded. So he's told people about me?

"Oh you dirty boy! C'mon sweets let's get you changed. You can borrow something of mine. Not sure I have clothes that'll fit that beautiful bust though!" I blushed as she dragged me enthusiastically upstairs. We reached a bedroom and she opened the door.

There on the bed, two men were.. servicing a scantily clad woman. The men were naked, one in front of her and one behind while she.. well, you get the picture. The men were kissing as we entered but quickly stopped.

"Christ! This is the wrong room! Second on the right I said! Second!" Elise exclaimed while laughing. She covered my eyes as they changed and left the room. I entered with her and she shut the door.

"That.. that was...-"

"Sexy?" She questioned. My face flushed.

"Well... I was taught that men... doing those things together was sinful." I confessed. She hummed.

"And what do you personally think?" She questioned.

"I think... it's none of my business. You can't help who you love." I shrugged, looking around the well decorated bedroom.

"Speaking of, what're you hoping to get from that big brute you came here with?" She questioned, digging through her drawers. I sighed.

"Long story. Is it obvious we're.. involved?" I questioned. She laughed.

"Absolutely! I've known Alfie a while, never seen him look at anyone the way he does you. He's probably as in love as you are. Here sweets, wear this." She spoke, tossing a dress to me.

"In.. love? That.. that isn't it. I'm just attracted to him." I spoke, moving behind the divider and beginning to change.

"Darling. That isn't just attraction. How did this even come to be? He hasn't told me much, just that you're the Rabbi's daughter and he is intrigued by you." I slid the dress up my body.

"Well, I'm not really sure. We just kept getting closer and learning more about each other and.. he's unlike anyone I've ever met. He's smart and funny and so beautiful. When he kissed me I wasn't even sure I was on this planet anymore." I confessed, smiling at the thought of Alfie.

"Oh sweets, you've got it bad." She spoke. I exited the divider and sat at the vanity, my head in my hands, pushing back tears. She began putting jewelry on me and fixing my hair.

"No time for tears sweets, we've got a man to wow. Why are you crying? Don't think he doesn't feel the same, because he does." She spoke, brushing my hair.

"It isn't that. I'm arranged to be married in a months time." I spoke, a single tear falling down my face as I looked at Elise in the mirror.

"So?" She questioned, adjusting the straps of my dress. It was now that I noticed how revealing it was. It was a velvet black dress, stopping at my thighs and showing excessive cleavage.

"So? I'm getting married Elise!" I laughed.

"Years ago I was in a loveless marriage. He was a decent enough man, but I was unhappy. I left and was outcasted by the catholic church I attended. I worked on the streets selling myself for a while until Alfie found me in a cold alley and took me in like a stray. I own one of the hottest clubs in Camden Town now." She explained, rubbing my shoulders. I smiled gently and she continued,

"You can't trap yourself in an unhappy situation for the benefit of someone else. I wasted years of my life denying who I was until Alfie rescued me. He's rescuing you too, he's just hesitant because he hasn't been this way, ever." I nodded, pondering her words.

"We should get back to the party. Are you sure this dress is suitable?" I questioned, standing and looking down at my outfit.

"Sweets, if I wasn't taken I would devour you. Those breasts will bring Solomons to his knees. You'll be screaming in pleasure by the nights end, I'm sure of it." Elise spoke. I looked away.

"Oh god, you're obviously a virgin. I'm sorry I'm such an idiot." Elise huffed.

"No no, it's alright. Today we.. did some things and I desire more. I'm nervous but he makes me feel safe. Have you two ever...?"

"Oh god no! I've slept with many but Alfie encouraged me to be myself. I've been happily involved with my partner, Jesaline. Not to worry sweets, sex isn't difficult. It is beautiful and powerful when you love the person." I smiled and thanked her. She kissed my cheek and escorted me downstairs.

I spotted Alfie quickly, he was sitting at a table with a few gentleman, playing cards and smoking. He wasn't facing me so I walked up to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. The other men gawked and whistled.

"Christ Solomons, where'd you find such a woman?" One man questioned. Alfie turned around and looked me up and down, standing up and pulling me into his arms, practically shielding me.

"The fuck are you wearin'?" He muttered.

"You don't like it?" I questioned with a knowing smirk.

"Wipe that fuckin' smile off your face, treacle. When we get back to mine I'm devouring that sopping cunt until you can't fuckin' walk, do you understand?" He whispered in my ear. I nodded and clenched my thighs.

"Come dance with me, Alf." I requested, switching the topic so my knees didn't buckle from arousal. The music had slowed down, and couples swayed along the floor.

"I don't fuckin' dance, dove." He spoke. I smiled and pulled away from his arms.

"That's alright, I'll ask one of these fine men to dance with me." I announced to the table. They jumped from their chairs quickly, and Alfie pulled a gun.

"Christ Alfie!" I exclaimed, eyes widening at the weapon. I had never really seen a gun this close. It was alarming but I didn't feel unsafe.

"Sit the fuck down. I will shoot you." He grunted. They all sat and he sheathed his weapon, pulling me to the middle of the floor and swaying with me.

"Still want me?" He questioned. I brushed over the gun in his waistband.

"You can keep trying Alfie, but you will never scare me. This is all new to me yes, but I'm not naïve. I know this is how some live. You don't. You're trying to shock me into backing out of this. The fact is Alfie, I don't give a fuck who you are. I love you to your core. I've known you for a handful of weeks but I know that you are what I need in my life. You can call me childish, or tell me I don't know what love is, but I love you Solomons. Not Jacob or anyone else." I confessed. still swaying to the music in his arms.

His lips met mine, his hands cupping my jaw gently. We kissed passionately, the chatter and music becoming invisible to us. I felt like I was spinning into a cloud of joy. He pulled away and looked into my eyes, brushing my hair out of my face.

"I love you treacle. I do. Fuckin' shouldn't. Need you more than I've ever needed anythin'." He confessed.

"Take me home, Alfie." I spoke, my eyes telling him what I wanted. We began moving towards the exit, bidding Elise goodbye on the way.

We drove in silence, anticipating what was to come. We arrived at the house, Alfie escorting me to his bedroom, kissing my neck and any exposed skin he could find.

"I need you Alfie."

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I’m sorry, but can I just go on a little rant about the Louis, clouis, and the Clem comic...? 

I didn’t really talk about Louis in my overall review of the comic because I wanted that to be more contained to the content shown on the pages, Clementine’s relationship with AJ, and her as a character.... but the more I think about these comics and Louis, the more frustrated I become thinking about what Clementine abandoning everyone would do to him. 

[... okay it’s not little anymore since I guess I can never just do anything simple when it comes to Louis, sorry my bad]

So, no surprise, we all know the comic’s bullshit by now. Clementine leaving everything and everyone behind because she’s not happy is dumb, AJ just letting her go is dumb, and Clem going to the mountains on crutches and a peg leg to find this so-called happiness is dumb. 

Now that we’ve established it’s dumb, I wanna talk about Louis because I got a lot of built up feelings about how bullshit this storyline is with how Clementine would not only abandon AJ, but also abandon Louis. 

Because let me tell you..... his heart would be broken beyond repair and I need to talk about why.

Sigh.... so.... muh boy. 

Before he met Clementine, Louis was this laidback, irresponsible, but caring and musical person who kept his head down to avoid conflict and never looked at the future. He was the kind of person who took things one day at a time, saw survival as a day-to-day task, and said that the future doesn’t exist, there’s only today. You get the point, he was never too concerned with things because they always seemed to work out, and if they didn’t, then that sucks and that’s why we should appreciate every day while we have it. 

Louis is shown to be charismatic and friendly, he spends his free time playing piano and card games, but no one really takes him seriously. Not even Marlon, his best friend for 8+ years. While he doesn’t seem to be on bad terms with anyone [including Aasim, they just act like people who disagree with the other’s point of view and have had the same argument many times, but that doesn’t mean they hate each other, y’know?] he also doesn’t appear super close with anyone outside of Marlon and possibly Violet, but even then. 

Marlon’s shown to have little faith in him with the way he talks about if Louis will even show up to hunt. He has a controlling grip on Louis that’s prominent during the confrontation scene when he uses intimidation to try to convince Louis to not interfere. Oh, and there’s the fact that Marlon’s been lying to Louis for the past year about the twins and then continued to lie to his face about what really happened to Brody... which isn’t great when you consider how Louis was the only one who had blind faith in him as a leader and, according to Marlon, was the only one who couldn’t see how pathetic he always was. 

Violet, while having a few more nicer moments with him than Marlon, still invalidates him and his feelings several times throughout the first half of the game which makes me wonder how close they ever were, or at least if Violet ever considered him a close friend to begin with. And no, a small monologue in the dorms doesn’t make everything better or confirm they were brotp the whole time... especially when once they’re on the boat, Louis might as well not exist because Violet can’t be bothered to acknowledge what happened to him or inquire about how he’s doing. I guess she just didn’t have time react while standing in her cell for several unbothered minutes-- no wait, it’s she already reacted off screen. Right. Good writing is good.

What I’m getting at here is that even though Louis is surrounded by people who he genuinely cares about, there is an argument to be made that he’s a lonely person. Hell, he’s aware of his loneliness when he says that no one hears past his music and jokes. I mean, how many nights do you think he spent by himself playing the piano because no one wanted to hear it? Are they like Violet and crack jokes about how he doesn’t have actual talent? Probably, given that someone literally carved “you suck at playing” onto the side of the damn piano. 

Oh, and let’s touch on that backstory of his. Louis grew up wealthy with two parents who loved him and each other, and they gave him anything he wanted except singing lessons. Louis says he wanted to be a real musician. But I guess his father didn’t like that idea and told him no, with the [as Louis puts it] dumb dad lesson of, “You get to be happy, or you get to be rich, can’t be both.” ...which is interesting given that Louis and his family were stupid rich but also.... were they not happy? well, that doesn’t make sense because little Louis knew that if he broke up their marriage, they would be hurt. 

So yeah, Louis was so upset that his father continually refused to let him take singing lessons that he broke into the man’s credit cards and faked an affair, which led to his parents divorcing... and then he spit his father’s words back in his face. 

Then they dumped him at Ericson. And the walkers came. 

There’s so much to unpack from the story he tells that it could be it’s own analysis, but basically.... Louis is aware of why what he did was fucked up, and he carries it with him every day. 

He regrets what he did, chews himself out for being such a “vindictive fuckhead” [and the amount of force used in that line tells you a lot, like how it’s not the first time he’s chastised himself like this] and he admits that he doesn’t even know the person he’s talking about. Yet, he still sees himself as bad, saying that they [I assume the staff] told him and the other kids they’re bad people. I don’t doubt that Louis internalized that which played a huge role in the confidence and self-esteem issues he has during tfs. 

Anyway, I’ll come back to this later, but when you take that amount of guilt and regret, and mix it with the fact that they dropped him off at this school that was supposed to make him better.... then the walkers came and those teachers, staff, and headmaster? Gone. Left a bunch of kids to fend for themselves, with the exception of Ms. Martin [but given how she looks when we find her I doubt she lasted that long] and I cannot imagine how horrifying that was for all of them. The dead are up eating people, and if you die you become one of them... and the people you thought you could rely on just fucking left you to die at this school. 

Every kid in that school has trauma and abandonment issues from before and after the world went to shit, every last one, and Louis isn’t the exception here. Over the years, a lot of kids died and they’ve all seen horrible shit. They all knew they were never going to see their families again, and as far as we know, no one came to get their kids at the beginning. They had to find ways of coping while trying to survive, and all they had left was each other. 

Louis copes with music and games and jokes. He’s built up this persona where it seems like he’s unaffected by the comments the others make, that the death and suffering he’s gone through is in the past, that he is confident and open to those around him.

But then Clementine and AJ show up, and Louis grows close with both of them. They had immediate chemistry upon first meeting, he was the one who looked after AJ since it seems like everyone else saw him as a little terror, and he went out of his way to be kind and make them comfortable. 

When they go hunting with him, Louis and Clementine have a moment after taking care of the walker where they lower their guards a bit-- Louis gives her more in-depth reasons for his views of survival, and going off her expression, it gets to her and makes her think.... but they’ve know each other a day and he’s not quick to infodump his life story or let her in, so he cuts the conversation short.

Then we have the Marlon confrontation scene that I have gone over so many times in the past. I won’t dillydally with it too long but..... Clementine appeals to Louis, who curls in on himself because of the control Marlon has on him. He wants to help, and hell, he knows this is wrong but he’s so used to not getting involved that he gets defensive.... plus, he’s known Clementine for two days, and he’s known Marlon for 8+ years.... he wants to believe Marlon but you can tell he doesn’t want this, either. It takes Clementine talking to him to give him courage to stand between her and Marlon’s gun and it’s a lot.

AJ shoots Marlon and everything goes to shit, and Louis is a goddamn mess. His best friend was murderer right in front of him, so add that to the trauma list, and he’s overwhelmed with all these feelings that again.... they keep getting invalidated by Violet because “Marlon was a liar and murderer, therefore you shouldn’t feel bad about his death. Get over yourself, Louis, you can be such a shithead sometimes.” 

Oh yeah Vi, I guess he should care more about two people he’s known for a total of two days rather than for the safety of the people [including you] he’s grown up with and cared about for 8+ years.... makes sense. 

So yeah, little to no support during this time. Alone again. 

And just because I have to make this clear so no one gets a hair up their ass-- both Louis and Violet are wrong here. Kicking them out isn’t the solution, but neither is acting like AJ was right to commit murder just because it was Marlon.

 But plots gotta plot, so they get voted out and you can see that Louis is conflicted about the whole thing. He wants them gone, but at the same time, he knows what kicking them out means. You can see it on his face that he’s not okay with kicking them out. He’s hurting when he’s there in the dorms telling them how the vote went... he literally doesn’t know what else to do. He just knows that everything hurts, Clem and AJ caused it, and he wants the pain to stop. He even tries to justify it to himself by figuring that they’ve done this before so they’ll be fine. Not a great thing to say, Lou. 

Anyway, we know the story, Clem and AJ come back and Louis once again sees the consequences of acting out of pain.... AJ is shot because Louis was hurt and he made a bad decision that he’s gotta live with.... something that he’s done before, and this affirms to him that he’s bad. He wishes he could take it back, and goes as far as to admit that to Clementine during the archery scene. 

By the way, credit to him for his apology to her. It’s rare in these games that Clem gets a genuine apology from someone who hurt her and doesn’t turn around to repeat the hurtful behavior, y’know? Plus, I can think of plenty of characters who owed Clem an apology in the past or if they did apologize, it was half-assed. 

You can feel how conflicted he is with this whole thing-- learning who Marlon really was and what he did, feeling something for Clementine before everything went down and not knowing how to handle those feelings afterward, caring about AJ and understanding why he thought shooting was the best choice but still hurting that his friend is dead.... 

And the thing is.... Louis forgives her for so much, as she does him, and through all of that bullshit, they manage to develop that strong connection that turns romantic. Louis lets himself be fully vulnerable with her and is honest about his feelings, how she listened when no one else did and seeing him for more than just the persona he put on. 

This works on Clementine’s side, too. Clementine has been through her own fair share of bullshit-- trauma, abandonment, loss, injury, you name it. She’s made mistakes, done terrible things, and has been in enough groups to know that romance usually ends in heartbreak.... and yet, she’s willing to open herself up to Louis and admit she feels a lot for him. 

Is it a little rushed? Yep. Could it have been handled better? Of course, most things this season could’ve, but what we got was pretty good. 

So Clementine and Louis are romantically involved now, the raiders attack, and she saves him... and boy does Louis feel guilty about that one, too. He feels bad enough that he questions why she would pick him because he can’t fathom his life being worth saving over another’s. He doesn’t see himself as useful, and even though Clementine is literally his girlfriend at this point, his self-esteem is so all over the place that he can’t understand why she would have him at her side. 

And when Clementine tells him that he’s too important to her, he’s too baffled to even give a response. He looks at her in disbelief like he wasn’t expecting her to say that.  But this shows that at the beginning of their relationship, he still doubts himself, and through her working with him, he begins to build up that strength in himself. 

He becomes brave enough to share what got him sent to the school with her, and he plays Don’t Be Afraid for everyone at the party and like.... for once, everyone is listening to him. Really listening to him. They’re not talking shit about his musical skills, they’re not ignoring him or the feelings he’s putting into the song, they’re sitting there with him and I just..... if you watch him, you can see that his eyes get pretty glossy throughout the song. The moment meant something to everyone. 

There’s also the fact that Clementine asked him to come with her and AJ onto the boat, and to be the one in charge of the bomb... that’s a huge responsibly and he feels the pressure of that. He starts to panic a bit about if he can do it, because what if he fucks up? What if he gets them caught and makes everything worse? What if something happens to Clementine and he can’t do anything about it? 

She’s there to reassure him that she believes in him, and that he can do this. They’re going to get everyone back, and he needs to focus... then he asks her to slap him which why would you? that’s dumb, so Clementine smooches him instead and like.... he physically relaxes into her because he’s comfortable and trusts her in this situation. 

Also, he loves her and cares about this mission enough to cover himself and his fancy jacket in walker guts.... sure, he complains while doing so but how else is he gonna cope with rubbing rotten guts on himself to blend in with a herd of walkers? 

Skipping ahead so that we’re not here all day, I wanna talk about the walk back to the school because it’s one of the most important clouis moments in the game and a huge reason that solidifies why the comic is bullshit.

Louis went off on his own to go out and find them. He didn’t know where they would be, he just knew that he had to go out and find them after making sure everyone was okay back at the school because he couldn’t bare the thought that he had lost them. And the way the AJ gets so excited to see him? and the group hug??

At this point, Louis has grown so much as a character. With Clementine by his side to support him, he’s grown stronger and more reliable. Remember how he never thought about the future? Well, now he is because his relationship with Clementine has given him a reason to long for a future. He talks about building this imaginary house with her, one he knows they can’t physically build... but it’s his way of saying we can build a home together, that he wants a future with her and AJ and everyone else. It’s such a personal conversation that flows so easy between them. Louis is more comfortable talking to her about things from his past, which is something he didn’t want to do back in ep1. 

He confides in her how he’s feeling after he shot and killed Dorian, he tells her that having a home means protecting it and I just.... it’s so good, okay? And from Clementine’s side, you can feel how at ease she is with him, too. Just the way she smiles at him as they’re walking? like he’s the cutest thing and she’s so happy to have him with her? 

But then we gotta deal with Minerva’s crazy ass on the bridge and well, AJ shoots Tenn and Louis is having flashbacks to Marlon and it’s not great. That’s a whole thing, and he ends up separated from them while escaping.

We don’t get to see Louis’ reaction to Clementine getting bit and losing her leg since I guess that puts a damper on the overly happy ending. But, going off of what we know about him and what I’ve explained [which isn’t even all of it, this isn’t a full Louis character analysis. if it was, it would be much longer and in multiple parts... believe it or not, I’m trying to not make this too long and only sorta failing...] we can get an idea of how he would react. 

Um, to say he was upset is an understatement.

Because remember, he had no time to think and climbed over the fence, thinking he could get them to climb over and they could get away, but it didn’t work. He ended up leaving them in order to save himself since walkers were closing in on him.

But you know that he’d blame himself for the bite. A lot of, “if I had just stayed” and “I should’ve climbed back over, I should’ve stayed with you.” I’m sure there were points where it looked like Clem wouldn’t make it and I can’t imagine how much hurt he went through watching her suffer and heal from losing a leg like that. 

Not only that, but knowing that AJ was the one to do it? And him thinking about what Clem’s death would do to AJ after all this? There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Louis would take care of AJ if she died. He cares about AJ, and he loves Clementine, so he be there for both of them, even if he’s still hurting from Tenn’s death. 

However, Clementine didn’t die. She survived the bite and amputation, and when we flashforward, she and Louis are still happily together. Louis is right there next to her at dinner, and he’s the one to help her with her crutches. He’s there to go over future plans to meet the traveling caravan, and Clementine wants him to be the one to go. 

Oh, and Louis once again forgives AJ for shooting Tenn, claiming that he understands that AJ saw something that he couldn’t. Like with Marlon, he’s not happy Tenn’s dead but he can see why AJ did it to save his life. 

I just..... happy ending. Clementine and Louis are together and she’s truly happy to have found a home for her and AJ with him at Ericson. 

....But then the comic thought it would be fun to say “nah.” 

The comic isn’t canon, I’m still insulted that it would ever consider itself as such, but even so I can’t help but feel so frustrated about how this would destroy Louis. 

He finally found someone he would consider his best friend, not just his girlfriend. She saw past that funny man persona and he trusted her enough to let her past this wall he built around himself. He let himself become vulnerable around her, he named his song after her. Their initials are carved into his piano with a heart surrounding them. He loved her. 

Clementine left him feeling loved, something he probably hasn’t truly felt since he was a little boy with his parents before their divorce. She loved him even after hearing his past because she knew that wasn’t him anymore, and she helped him build the confidence he needed to step up. Because of Clementine, Louis wants to enjoy every day while also looking at the future. He isn’t lonely anymore, he has her and AJ. He’s truly happy.

So to tell me that Louis would wake up one morning only to have AJ tell him that Clementine’s gone, she’ been planning an escape without telling anyone because she wasn’t happy...? I’m sorry, but if you think that wouldn’t leave Louis absolutely devastated, then you know nothing about him as a character. 

This idea is just.... look, Louis is perceptive. That’s a big part of his character, he’s perceptive of those around him. If Clementine was showing signs of being unhappy or depression, he would see it. He would notice a change. He would be able to tell if something was off, and he would ask her about it. Louis is the type of person to ask you what you need. What can he do to help? What do you need to feel better? And if you don’t know, it’s okay, he’ll help you figure it out in any way possible. 

Plus, the comic suggests that there are times where she went off on her own but came back [probably doing her escape prep ugh] and you expect me to believe that Louis wouldn’t notice that or wonder what she’s doing? Wouldn’t sense that something’s going on? 

After she’s gone, he’s going to blame himself for not being enough. He couldn’t make her happy and he was a fool to think he ever could. AJ lost the only family he’s known since he was born because Louis couldn’t help her, couldn’t do anything to stop her from leaving. 

And for him to realize that she didn’t love him? Clementine, the girl he thought the world of because of how strong and confident and in-charge she was, because she saw him for who he was..... she left him, abandoned him... and she couldn’t even be bothered with a goodbye.... that says that she didn’t care all that much about him in the end.

You KNOW that he would think he had this coming, too. How could the universe allow him to fall in love and be happy with someone who loved him back after what he did to his parents? He would feel so heartbroken that he would see this as some sort of karma for breaking up his parents happy marriage as a kid years before he ever met Clementine and before the apocalypse.

I fucking can’t.... I don’t have the words to fully explain how much I hate this. Louis wouldn’t be okay afterward, and I doubt he’d ever fully recover. I wasn’t joking when I mentioned before that Louis would stop playing piano. How could he sit there and play when I he can see is their initials and remember the night she confessed to him? When he named his song after her? Clementine left and took the music with her because Louis wouldn’t have it in him... something that he used to cope would be ruined and that’s just.... it’s fucking awful. 

Not only that, but now he has AJ who I assume is hurting just as much [though the comics inaccurately assume he would just let Clem go sooo... yeah] and he would be the only one Louis would really talk to about it, but then again.... what if AJ doesn’t wanna talk about it? What if AJ starts to act out and things just become terrible and Louis is just too overwhelmed? 

I just.... UGH. That’s how I feel. UGH. 

Clementine from the comic? Not her. She would never fucking do this to Louis, AJ, or anyone else at Ericson, and you would know that if you played the tfs. 

Sigh.... sorry, I just needed to get this all out. I haven’t seen anyone talk about how Clem leaving would affect Louis and I’ve gotten some asks/come across some posts about Louis that have left me incredibly annoyed.... well, I was annoyed before because of the comics, so my annoyances with those things were only heightened. So yeah... I wanted to talk about Louis’ character in hopes of explaining why he would be so hurt if this comic was canon. 

Which it’s not. So it’s fine. 

How are we all feelin’ at this point, by the way? I know I’m not the only one still annoyed with the comic, so I hope y’all are doin’ okay. Hope you’re stayin’ chill and thinking about your faves to help cope with this mess hahaha

[lesbian-deadpool]

Saving Rosie

Part One of Two: “I’m Not A Spy.”

Rosie Betzer x Reader

Words: 5,768

Warnings: WWII (and everything that comes with that era), Nazis, spy shit, arguing, alludes to execution, sadness... I think that may be it.

Request: No.

Summary: You save the woman you have grown close to over the past few years you have been undercover as a Nazi general, and now you’re going to save her family.

A/N: Me, still broken after watching Jojo Rabbit almost a year and a half ago?? It’s more likely than you think... so, apparently I write Rosie Beltzer fics now lol

Also, just some lil notes. The reader in this is undercover as a male Nazi general, and they’re not actually German in this fic.

EDIT: I accidentally tagged this as a Natasha fic lmao. I fixed it now tho.

Ko-Fi

Commissions

(Not My GIF)

***

"It's a lovely night for it, huh?"

For what? You weren't 

certain. Maybe it was the full moon. Maybe, it was the clear sky. The deserted streets, perhaps... what loomed in the following days to come.

Or maybe, just maybe. It was the woman by your side.

The woman hummed, a small sweet smile caressing her face.

"One of the better ones we've had in years. Came her strong German accent. A stark difference to yours, considering you no longer had to mask it. Around her, anyway.

Your smile mirrored hers as it brightened.

"It sure is."

"I can't believe it's almost over. And after so long..." she said, while you grunted, sitting down beside her on the small roof over the open attic window. "This unjust war is finally coming to an end."

"Okay, you're starting to sound like my commander now."

Rosie chuckled at your words, moving to softly lean into your side, keeping her head up to continue looking at the bright white stars that littered the midnight blue sky.

"Why do you always insist on meeting up here?" you grumbled, no malice in your voice, "It's a pain in the ass to get up onto the roof, from the outside, y'know?"

"You're a spy, aren't you? Aren't you supposed to be good at this stuff?"

"Oh cheeky," you laughed, lightly slapping the side of her leg, with the back of your hand. Rosie's quiet giggles following your remark, "And I'm an undercover soldier. Those are two very different things."

"Still." She shrugged.

You sat in silence for a small while. Over the few years, you and Rosie had grown close. Meeting up on her rooftop, at the dead of night, where there was no chance of anyone seeing you together, this way, becoming an almost every day occurrence.

You knew you could trust her the moment you first met, almost three years ago. After you had stolen the identity of a Nazi officer, that looked starkly like you. Luckily, there was hardly any information about this person. So, there was less chance for your cover to be blown.

Soon, the resistance that Rosie had been deeply a part of was un-earthed to you, thanks to your informant and the letter she carried. It wasn't long after that you started working with them too. Helping them better than they could ever hope, thanks to the military resources and information you brought.

"What happened to your neck?" Rosie asked, pulling you out from where you were, deep in your memories.

A hand came up to rub at your slightly sore skin.

"My informant can be cruel..."

Rosie cocked a blonde eyebrow at you, wanting an explanation from you.

You sighed, getting ready to tell her.

***

Eyes burned into the woman from all sides as her heels kicked against the polished wooden, yet stained, floor. Her light brown hair shone under the glowing lights, confidence radiating from her just the same.

"Can I help you?" a German Soldier slid in front of her, she had to stop herself from sneering at the man. For both his being a Nazi and his sweaty stench. But instead, she managed a sultry smirk.

"I'm here to see your General," she replied, in a German accent.

"Don't bother," another Soldier, this one drunk and slightly swaying, called over, from where he was pressed into the wall a few feet behind her.

"I don't think your General would take too kindly to you stealing what they paid for."

"They're gonna have fun with you," he replied, blatantly looking her up and down. Like a wolf would, to a tiny bunny, ready to devour it whole. However, the wolf was not a wolf at all, the wolf was, in fact, the bunny, and the bunny was the actual wolf.

She would tear him to shreds, given the chance.

"The General is in the usual room," the original man said, "Fair warning, though. They're not in a good mood today."

The woman began strutting down the hallway, once again. Throwing, "Aren't they always?" over her shoulder once she passed him by.

When she opened the thick wooden door you resided behind, the sounds of your continued groan began pouring through the crack.

"Sometimes I cannot believe that you got this assignment," she uttered in her original London accent, with her back pressed against the now-closed door.

You finished your groan off and took a deep breath before you uttered your reply.

"Luck-of-the-draw, I guess," you spoke from the floor where you lay on your back, with a shrug, "That, or I look strikingly alike the guy who died. The Nazi prick."

She walked over to you, one foot rising to press her heel into your neck, your thyroid resting in the open space of the shoe.

A choking noise sprang from your mouth as you flailed your limbs around gently. You knew that if she were to press any harder, she would surely manage to choke you.

"You're not suited for this job."

The brunette pressed harder against your throat before she released you. Leaving you to turn on your side, coughing and spluttering.

"Well, no shit. I'm a soldier, not a spy."

"You can tell."

"What was that all about?" You motioned to your neck. Red marks already making their way upon the tender flesh.

"We need to make it seem like we are having sex. Remember? I am supposed to be your hooker after all."

"You're a bitch, is what you are."

She scowled at you as you rolled yourself onto your stomach, sighing when you finally got to your feet.

"Where's the update?"

You hummed, almost as if you were remembering what you were here to do. Removing the crystal tumbler from your lips the whisky sloshing around inside. Reaching behind you, you pulled the file from where it was tucked into your pants and under your shirt. Handing it over to her.

"Is this it?" She asked, weighing the file in her hand, "It's very light."

"Yeah, and so's the information swimming around. Unless you wanna hear about the fish Agatha caught last weekend," you snarked back, moving to point at the file with the same hand that held your glass, "There's some good stuff in there. It's not much. But it's good."

"I'll take your word for it."

She tucked the folder into the long overcoat she wore, then you saw her eyebrows furrow.

"Aren't you supposed to take care of that?" She nodded towards the uniform jacket you had thrown across the room not long after you had entered it.

"You sneered at the fore-talked about item.

"I hate it and everything it stands for." You turned back to face her. "As soon as all of this bullshit is over, I'm burning that fucking armband. And then the rest of the fucking uniform."

"Real calm there, aren't you?"

"Don't start shit with me, Hannah." You took a large swig of your drink, almost emptying the glass. "I know that you wish you had somehow gotten this mission. But trust me, you don't fucking want it. The shit I've seen and done. The stuff that I've had to authorise, just to keep my cover. The fucking horror storied these monsters have told proudly, or as if they're fucking jokes." You were panting now. "You don't want that."

You had her startled into silence. Hannah had never expected this to come from you.

"How's the resistance?"

You grunted. Downing the rest of the brown liquor before moving to pour yourself another glass three fingers tall.

"It's going." you gave a heavy nod. "Still trying to spread the word."

Hannah hummed, slowly making her way towards you. Fingers coming up to razzle her hair, and wipe her lipstick, so it smudged onto her cheek.

"How's the blonde?"

"What-?" you were cut off when she wiped the red lipstick on her fingers across your own lips, leaving a smudge like hers there. "Ugh," you groaned, moving away from her palm, only to utter small obscenities and sounds of pain when her lipstick freehand messed up your short, slicked-back hair.

"What blonde?" you finally managed to ask.

"The one from the resistance. What's her name?" She clicked her fingers together, in realisation, "Rosie."

"Oh! Yeah, she's fine, and so are the kids."

"You seem to be taking a shine to her, from what I hear from the resistance. You and Rosie seem to be something of a dynamic duo."

Suddenly your shirt was ripped open, from the collar to your ribs. Making your eyes widen in shock.

However, you were used to this by now, so they soon returned back to their regular size.

"Yeah, we're friends."

Hannah hummed, something akin to a knowing smirk on her face. As she untucked your shirt.

"I'd keep an eye on her, though."

She opened your pants.

"She's being watched."

Breathless at what she just said, you stood stock still, watching as she walked towards the wooden door.

"Oh." Hannah stopped, her hand upon the handle, pulling some pieces of paper from her pocket and threw them to the floor, "I'll leave you to deliver the bad news."

And with that, she left.

***

You forewent telling Rosie everything from the mention of her.

Thinking it the best if she heard it differently.

"That really sounds like a spy meeting to me," Rosie said with a smirk, knowing it would annoy you to no end.

You closed your eyes before you could roll them into the back of your head. Taking a deep breath, you exhaled, "I'm not a spy."

"So, you've said," she giggled.

"You're drunk," you mumbled to yourself.

"What was that?"

"How are the kids?" you asked, clearly watching as Rosie groaned lightly. Her head down-turned, almost sad looking.

"Jojo's still obsessed with Hitler and everything. And Elsa's doing her best. But I can tell how much this is affecting her. And in what world wouldn't it?"

"She's strong." You nodded. "She'll get through it. We all will."

"And what about Jojo?"

Rosie turned to face you, hair swaying as she did. You could see the glazed look in her eye's, telling yourself to be extra vigilant with the woman upon the roof. You had to make sure she didn't fall off in her drunken state.

"Is he going to be like this for the rest of his life?"

Tears were building in her eyes now.

"Supporting evil dictators, wanting to take over the world, and fill it with hate?"

"No. No, of course not," you whispered. Reaching over, you clasped her cheeks between your rough, war-hardened hands. Wiping away her silent tears. "He's just a boy. A boy who wants to be a part of something, even if he doesn't understand what that is. What monster's he's following. He will realise one day. Trust me."

"I trust you." She nodded. "It just. It's hard. It's so hard. Especially when he plays up, like he did at dinner today."

"He did?"

She hummed with a nod.

"We're low on food right now. I had to go without to feed Elsa. But Jojo, he didn't know, obviously, so he took that too. Then he started arguing about his father-"

You inhaled sharply, shoulders tensing. But luckily for you, she didn't notice your reaction.

"-I yelled at him... we made up not long after, but I still feel awful about it. I'm a terrible mother."

"No, you're not-"

"I am-"

"No. You're not," you said firmly. Grabbing her forearm, gently moving it side to side, to get your point further across, "You're such a caring and amazing person. Your heart is so big and kind. And you're an even better mother. It's like all of that is doubled for those kids."

"Thank you," Rosie whispered, tears in her eyes once again, before she moved to wipe them away.

"Anyway, you're way better than my mother. She abandoned me at a farm. I was lucky a cow didn't shit on me."

She giggled at your little joke.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"There's no need. I wouldn't change it."

Things were quiet for a few minutes when you suddenly remembered.

"Oh!" You reached into your pocket and pulled out three packages, wrapped in brown paper and tied together with string. "I guess it was just lucky that I brought these then."

"What are they?"

"Beef sandwiches, I thought you would like them."

"Oh, you're a lifesaver," she spoke in something close to a moan as she took a bite out of her sandwich.

You gave a small chuckle at the woman seated beside you, "I'd thought you'd say that. I'll have to start bringing food over to these meetings of ours because it's not like I can do it out in the open."

"People would think something was going on between us," Rosie hummed.

"You're right about that. Everyone is so bored around here. Gossip is like their life sauce."

"Would you be surprised if I told you that it was the same before the war?"

"Not at all," you laughed.

Rosie finished her sandwich, and you dreaded what was coming next.

"I need to tell you something," you almost whispered.

She bumped her shoulder against yours when you didn't continue.

"Well? What is it?"

"It... it's about your husband..."

You watched her carefully as you said that, all the while emotions, flew into her while she processed them.

She held back more tears, ones from the look on her face that she had shed more times than she could count. Face contoured into one of concealed pain. Looking away from your gentle, caring eyes while rubbing her hands together.

"He's dead, isn't he?"

"I'm afraid so." You nodded, looking out before you, into the starry night sky.

That's when you felt a tiny jolt beside you. Looking over at the blonde, you watched as a tear trickled down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry," you whispered.

With a gasp and a wet sniff, Rosie wiped her tears away.

"What happened?"

"There was a raid, some members of a resistance was there, your husband included. None of them made it... they saved the people they intended to, however."

She nodded with a sad yet proud smile.

"How long ago was this?"

You swallowed. Hating the words you were about to say.

"A little over a year ago."

You winced when you heard her sobs, ones being held in so hard just so no one could overhear her cries.

And, sickeningly so, the worst thing of all was that you didn't know how to help her.

Placing a hand upon her back, rubbing small comforting circles into her shoulder. Feeling her lean into you, face now pushed into your neck.

"I'm here. Everything's going to be alright."

You left not too long later, after already spending way too much time up on that roof.

Rosie wished you a "goodbye" with the promise that she would be fine. However, she didn't reply to you when you told her not to finish the rest of the wine. That she had been pounding for the majority of the day.

Before you arrived "home" and promptly collapsed onto the bed.

***

The afternoon sun was warm upon your face as you walked the streets of the German town. Watching as children ran around, women worked, and well, gossiped, and Nazi soldiers came and went.

Soon. You thought. This will all be over soon.

That's when you heard the murmured words from the women you had just walked past.

"Yes, the Gestapo. They're here right now."

"Who for?" the other woman asked, voice slightly higher at the aspect of such "juicy" gossip.

Sometimes it surprised you just how detached some of these people were from human lives. But then you took a step back and saw everything that was happening in the world. And you weren't surprised anymore. Just disappointed.

"The traitors wife. Beltzer."

And now you were scared.

"-They should be taking her to the square, right now."

It was like the world had slowed down as you turned to look at them, meeting their curious eyes.

The last thing you heard before taking off at a run towards the town square was a fading, "Like husband, like wife. I guess."

The people you passed by looked at you like you were insane. To see a, what they thought, General, sprinting down streets and panting like crazy, it set them on edge.

But you didn't give a damn about what anybody thought.

You just had to get to the square.

And quick.

***

By the time you got there, you had a light shine over your skin. Thanks to the sweat from both the running you had done and the worry that coursed through you.

"Remove your hands from her," came your faux German accent.

"She is a traitor to the Reich," one of the Gestapo's, seemingly the leader, replied assuredly.

"And what proof do you have of this?"

Rosie was terrified. You could see that as clear as day, no matter how she tried to keep calm. It was written all over her face.

So, you forcefully pushed their hands from the heavily breathing woman and pulling her to stand by your side and away from the group of men dressed in black suits.

"I'll have you know, we have very probable tips from some of the community-"

""Probable"?!" you shouted, causing the on edge woman beside you to jump slightly. To which you pulled her closer to you as a form of comfort. Your hand, coming to rest on her shoulder.

"Yes. Probable. We cannot have risks."

"Well, I say that it is bullshit."

"You have no jurisdiction or authority over our department."

"And I never said I did. I am saying that I vouch for this woman."

"But the tip-off's-" another man began.

"You choose to believe lonely and bored housewives over a General?!" You watched as their faces fell, and they tried to grab onto any straw they could to change your mind.

"There is still a chance-"

"There is no chance!"

"And can you be so sure?!"

"Do you really believe that I, a General, would be with her if you were right?"

"With her?" a third Gestapo asked curiously.

You knew what you had to do to get her back home, safe and away from the men trying to execute and make a spectacle of her. Just like the poor people hanging to your right.

"It means that I have been seeing her. Romantically, if you still do not fully understand, what I mean."

They didn't say anything for a few short moments, only stumbling and stuttering over their own voices.

"So, tell me. Who are you choosing to believe?"

"Uh. Y-You General."

"Good." You nodded once. "Now, I'm going to take her home. Goodbye, gentlemen," you spat. Turning on your heel, with Rosie under your arm, and walking away.

"Are you okay?" you whispered. Not drawing any attention to yourself or Rosie.

"I'm fine. Thank you for saving me," she replied in the same way.

"I wouldn't have done anything else." Your hand slipped down to the blondes dip in her lower back, helping to guide her back home. "Where are the flyers? Did you have any on you?"

"Yes. I threw them down the drain before they could see."

"Good. You did good." A squeeze to her hip before your hand returned to her lower back, just to keep up the appearance of the lie. "They're not gonna find them."

***

Rosie had relaxed more by the time you were at the bottom of her street when you saw a distinctly expensive car parked outside of Rosie's house. A car that everyone knows belongs to that of Gestapo's.

"Is Jojo home?" you asked, just stood there starring at the sight, with Rosie by your side.

"Yes," she husked.

"Shit."

And that's when you both broke out in a run.

You, being faster than Rosie, arrived at the building first. Barging through the door, with her hot on your heels.

Pounding your way up the stairs, only to come face to face with a gang of men, identically dressed to the Gestapo's, you had just saved Rosie from. Along with Jojo and Elsa, in clothes that didn't look like they belonged to her. Not to mention the demoted soldier, holding an identification book.

"What is the meaning of this?!"

"What are you doing in my house?!" you and Rosie said at the same time. Your yell angrier, compared to her more so worried one.

"We are searching the premises," the lead man, who wore round glasses, spoke. Face confused as to why Rosie was still alive. But as soon as he saw the anger chiselled upon your face. He could take a successful guess as to who had stopped the execution.

"Mama, they were just checking Inge's identification," Jojo said as his mother rushed towards him. Her hands, on his cheeks, as she checked him over.

"Oh, yes. Of course." Rosie pulled Jojo along to bring Elsa into her side, just as you had done for her mere minutes ago. "Are you both alright?"

She gained words and nods of confirmation from the two children.

"I think it's time that you all left."

"But-" one Gestapo said, looking to Rosie.

"But nothing," you continued, "I'm sure your associates will fill you in on their mistake. Now, if you are finished, I ask that you leave this house."

"We were just about to, anyway," the leader said, leading the way out for everyone. But not before the ID was handed back to the assumed Inge. With you trailing after, to slam the door behind them.

You turned, leaning your back against the wooden door, sighing deeply.

"Are they gone?" Rosie called down, leaning over the railing, to peer down at you.

The stairs creaked below you, the layer of carpet doing nothing to quiet them. You spoke your confirmation, as you reached her, "They're gone."

The kids looked like they had just been caught with their hand's in the cookie jar.

"So..." the caring woman started, "You two know about each other."

They nodded.

"For how long?"

"A couple of weeks, at most," Jojo said.

"How did you even find out about her?"

"I-I found the hatch-"

"He crawled in-"

"And I found her-"

"He was terrified."

"Was not!"

"Was too."

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Okay, enough," Rosie raised her voice, gaining the bickering children's attention.

Taking a breath, she ran her hands through her soft blonde hair.

"And you never told anyone?"

"No." Jojo shook his head. "I didn't want you to get into trouble..." It was at that point, he realised you were silently stood behind his mother, watching as everything unfolded and who you were.

Rosie caught this and looked over her shoulder at you.

"Don't worry," she told both of the kids, crouching down before them. Elsa's face one of mild terror.

This is when it hit you that these kids were exactly that.

Kids.

Kid's that were too scared of their mothers, or motherly figure, scolding them, than the actual, apparent danger that lurked not too far away.

"They're not going to tell anybody. They know. And won't let anything happen. To any of us." she manoeuvred to face you. "Right?"

You nodded. "Absolutely. I will do my best to protect all of you."

"Speaking of." She slowly rose to her feet, walking towards you.

The hand that Rosie placed upon your arm was gentle, almost like she was worried she would hurt you. Fingers curling into the jacket of the uniform you loathed.

"I have to speak with the General. So, you two stay up here. Understood?"

They nodded.

"Good." She pulled you through the open door, but before she could close it fully, her head popped through the door, "Oh. And we're not done yet. We still have a lot to talk about."

Then the door clicked shut.

"You're really good at that."

"What?"

"Being a mother."

"I know. You've told me before."

***

Things had changed rather quickly when you arrived downstairs.

Sat upon the blue cotton cushions of the wooden framed couch. Watching as Rosie paced around in front of you, fingertips rubbing against her full lips, worry etched across her face.

Your eyebrows shot up, and your body straightened when she turned to face you. Arms now down by her sides.

"So, we're together, huh?"

"I'm sorry," you replied, German accent dropped, "But that was the only thing that would get them to back off and drop the suspicions against you."

"I know." She nodded, completely understanding. Before her minimal composure dropped, and the worry came back. "What do we do? Jojo obviously thinks you are a traitor now. What if he tells someone?"

"He won't." You stood abruptly, taking Rosie's shoulder's into your hands, squeezing them gently. "He didn't tell anyone about Elsa when he had so many chances to do so. Hell, he had the chance, not even five minutes ago. But he hasn't said a word, purely just to keep you safe... he doesn't understand that this could hurt him and Elsa too. He doesn't know what's happening."

"But this is different-"

"Yes, it is different. It's better he thinks I'm a traitor, helping his family, than him knowing I'm an undercover soldier."

"You mean a spy?"

"Don't you start with that shit." You pointed at her playfully.

Rosie's smile dropped when a thought popped into her mind.

"Do you think they will still come back?"

"It is possible," you said honestly, "Which is why we should leave as soon as we possibly can."

"And go where?"

"Anywhere that isn't here."

"What do I tell the kids- What do I tell Jojo?" she clarified.

"The truth. You tell them that they could come back and that we all need to leave because we could all be in danger."

With her head in her hand's, the blonde scoffed tearily, "God. This fucking war."

"I know. I know."

You pulled her into your chest, letting her cry into you. Arms wound around your torso tightly.

"I hate it, For so many reasons."

"I know," you repeated again, "I feel the same."

"When will it just end? When will people be safe again?"

Deciding that it would be best to tell her the truth, you said, "I don't know. Soon I hope."

And there you sat, for a small while longer, allowing the blonde to cry into your chest.

***

You had left.

Gone to go gather some of your things, thinking it best to stay with Rosie and the kids while you were forced to stay in town.

All the while Rosie, spoke to the kids about leaving.

"I don't understand why we have to go!"

Was what you were greeted with as you entered the home.

"Because it is not safe for us here anymore," Rosie's voice came, calm but firm.

"But they won't come back."

"That's not entirely true," you spoke, entering the kitchen. Placing the leather bag you carried and the wicker basket upon the small table against the wall, you continued, "There's always a chance, no matter how small."

The young boy watched you silently for a minute. Not knowing what to say.

"Trust me, Jojo. I know how all of this works. I just want to keep you all safe, so does your mother. And this is the best way to do it.2

Jojo sighed.

"Where will we go?"

Rosie looked at you intently when her son asked this, wondering the same thing.

"We'll get out of town first. Then we'll focus on a safe place for us all to go."

"Jojo, would you. Would you go to your room, please?" Rosie asked, "I need to speak with the General, alone."

Just as the blonde boy was about to protest, he was cut off.

"Now. I also have to start preparing dinner."

He huffed and walked from the room, bounding up the stairs rather loudly.

You felt bad for the woman as you watched her grip the sides of the oven, bow her head, and give a great sigh.

"Where's Elsa?"

"She's in her hiding spot." Then she turned to face you. "Y/N, K know that Elsa isn't Inge."

"What?"

"She got Inge's birthday wrong, and he didn't say anything."

Your eye's wandered as you took in the information that was just given to you.

"Do you think he will say anything?"

"I don't know," you said with a shrug, "But I don't wanna take any chances. It's too risky."

"I agree." Rosie nodded once. "So, when do we leave."

"As soon as possible. Tonight if we can. Only pack the essentials. And not yet, we can't raise any suspicions."

Rosie's only reply and indication that she had heard you were a good few nods.

And then.

"What's in the basket?"

"Oh," you said chipperly, "Don't worry about cooking. I brought dinner."

***

Turns out "tonight" wasn't a viable option for skipping town, as with loud, almost deafening sirens of dread filled the sky came the air-raid strike.

"Wouldn't it give us a good cover, though?" Rosie had asked, preparing for bed.

You had resigned yourself to staying over, as a sort of bodyguard, while still in town. And the threat was still very much weighing in the winds.

You looked over your shoulder at her. Being spotted by her through the mirror of her vanity, where she sat. Removing her makeup and then applying some face cream.

"I'm not the only one by a window," you told her. Then moved to peer through the window, at the moving lights in the black, midnight sky. "I'm sure I heard Elsa and Jojo in the attic watching them."

"They are," she confirmed.

"See. We're not the only ones. Too many eyes. A good distraction," you admitted, "But almost impossible. And with two kids added to that? No chance."

A hum came from Rosie.

"So, what are our options?"

With a sigh, you began explaining, "People will be too jumpy tomorrow, so our best bet would be the day after."

The blonde, now ready for bed, came over to you. Moving to stand right in front of you, looking out the window herself.

"Wouldn't it be too risky, staying here that long?"

It seemed it was your turn to hum, shrugging your shoulders.

"I'd rather stay here a few more days than risk it out there. But there is a good side to these change of plans."

"And what's that?"

"Now, we can sneak stuff to the car. And won't risk being caught doing it all at night. That way, all we have to do is get in, then drive off."

"Good plan. Partner," Rosie spoke in a slight mocking about sultry tone. Which only made you roll your eyes good-naturedly.

"Yeah. Yeah. You're welcome."

"Seriously," you halted at Rosie's serious tone, raising your head to peer at her, "Thank you for everything."

"You don't have to thank me." Your lips ticked up in a small smile before you lightened the sober mood and atmosphere. "And you definitely won't be thanking me if I accidentally kick you in my sleep."

Rosie laughed at your words, watching as you said into bed beside her.

"Do not worry. If you kick me, I'll just kick you out of the bed."

"Now that's just rude."

Waking up the next morning was strange for you, to say the least.

With the bright sun shining through the thin drapes, across the cosy room, and onto the bed. Duvet lumpy above your forms.

And then there was Rosie.

The blonde pressed up against your side, head resting on your shoulder, arms curled around one of yours, still fast asleep.

Now that.

That was very unusual for you.

But then again. You were too sleepy to process anything at that moment. So instead, you just watched her breathe soothingly, looking so peaceful by your side, with your eyebrows furrowed and eyes squinted in curiosity.

It was a wonder how someone could look so contest face asleep like Rosie was, with everything that is going on in the world.

The world wouldn't be that way for much longer, you thought, it was only a matter of time before everything was over.

And the same thing could be said for the blonde sleeping by your side.

The wooden door barged open, alerting you fully awake, as Jojo strutted in. Only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight of you. In bed. With his mother.

You could see the slight anger in his eyes, purely out of protection for his beloved mother.

"Good morning, Jojo," Rosie said sleepily as she moved to sit up, looking at the boy with a sleepy smile.

You grunted as she pressed her palm into your abdomen to raise up into a seated position.

"What are they doing here?" he asked, nodding his head towards you.

Rosie looked over her shoulder at you, tired eyes evaluating you. Before she turned back to her son.

"There's something I forgot to tell you yesterday."

You watched the mother and child with slightly wide eyes, not uttering a word, just looking like you wanted to escape this situation.

"What did you forget?"

"The General here-" she patted your abdomen where her hand still resided. "-And I, are seeing each other."

It was a few good long moments as Jojo processed the words. You thought he was going to be angry. It would be natural. You would understand. He was a young boy, one who undoubtedly missed his father and would not be happy with his mother being with anyone else.

But you also had to understand that he idolised you, if only for your -albeit fake- position in the German military.

And yet, you were still surprised and confused by what he said next.

"A lion?"

Rosie smiled brightly, nodding her head, "A lion."

"A lion?"

That was the first thing you said that morning, and it was full of confusion.

But it fell on deaf ears.

Jojo nodded once at his mother before turning on his heel and walking from the room, without saying what he initially came in for.

"What?"

Rosie smiled at you.

"Come on, we should get moving."

The bed shook and bounced as she got up from the bed, preparing to get ready for the day.

"I'm so confused," you almost whimpered, only gaining a soft giggle in return.

***

Permanent Tag List: 

@imnotasuperhero, @veteranwerewolf95, @natasha-danvers, @marvelfansince08love, @higherfurther-romanova, @lesbian-x-blackwidow, @sestra-inestro, @thelastavenger-3000, @mixed-fandom-mess,

SFW Tag list: 

@peggycarter-steverogers, @natalia-quinzel,

(I didn’t know if you guys wanted to be tagged in this, but...)

[fipindustries]

Creative Masterpost

i decided to recompile all my creative endeavors for ease of reference and as a quick presentation card to anyone who discovers me and might want to know more of the bullshit i get up to.

in here you’ll find DRAWINGS, VIDEOS, WRITING and even MUSIC!

DRAWINGS

*Unbeknownst to men.

you can visit the native art blog i have on this website with an unpronouncable name because back hen i was more concerned with cultivating an aesthetic than a brand and i still am! some interesting tags to look for specifically on this blog: Animation, comic, fanart,4chan,OC.

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*Disregarding reality

within this very same website you can also go to my semi abandoned webcomic, a project that i somehow managed to keep alive for three years and where i’ll still very occassionally dump a new quick comic that the muses dropped on my head. i would reccomend to focus on the Story Arcs tab in that blog as the most effective way to navigate that comic since many of the links are broken ever since the titty ban of 2018. and if that fails as well there is always the archive

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*Instagram

finally, if you want a slicker, more modern, more distilled and in line with modern social networks experience, i do have an instagram, purely for art and maybe the occassional ego boosting photo

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*Deviant art

a completly abandoned archive of my first works that i ever posted online, stretching from 2009 til 2016. you can, if you are ever an exceptionally curious person, go and see how my art slowly developed from the times i barel knew how to draw a circle to a close aproximation of what it is today. there is a lot of cringe and a lot of growing pains going on there but it is thorough and it is honest and i wouldnt have it any other way.

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*4chan

a repository, made by some kind anon, collecting all my works that i made for the 4chan tan project where each board in 4chan gets an antropomorphic representation/character/avatar. i focused exclusively on /co/  the comics and cartoons board, also known as Conrad. WARNING: it is 4chan so, yeah, there is a lot of ugly stuff there and i think someone misgendered me there but it is the solely existing repository of those works i did (most of which i was convinced were lost) so you take the good with the bad.

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id be remiss not to cap off this section with a link to my comission info if after seeing all this you decide you want some of this for your own, shaped to your particular needs and demands. im essentially always free to work on something, im am punctillious about my work and i deliver reasonably fast, depending on how much work i might have at a given time which is never too much.

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VIDEO

*Youtube

my youtube channel filled with miscellaneous projects, demo reels, vlogs, stream VODs, animations and weird in-jokes.

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*Jennyffer

more specifically in youtube, if you want to cut the fat you can go watch this small comedy mini series of animatics about a teenage transgirl dealing with the problems of being out and proud in her own unique shitty way

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WRITING

*Archive of Our Own

the main repository of any literary fiction i create. For the most part composed of original works. there is only one finished novel there, a bunch of incomplete ones, a bunch of short stories and three pieces of fan fiction regarding Steven universe, Ward and Pale

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*Writing

mainly my non-fic thoughts on the art of literary creation. it is rich of me to believe i have anything to contribute considering i never published anything and i barely managed to finish two novels and a couple of novellas, all of the shitty but hey, i like to consider myself an insightful person and one does not need to be a chef to talk about their favourite dishes.

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*Fip in the big city / Fip living life

my personal journal where i talk about my every day life, share personal experiences and show a curated view of my immediate surroundings and all the weird, strange things that occur to me and around me.

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MUSIC

*Music

a basic dump of the stumbling steps i made on the world of musical creation, mainly acapella works of original musical ideas i came up with or silly mashups that i thought were funny. there is a lot of extraneous garbage here, works from other artists that i liked, bad jokes and shitpost and i am still incredibly proud of all of it.

[sitp-recs]

(Perfect artwork for Modern Love, by @cambiodipolvere)

Today is the day of one of my favorite people! And I totally resent @tackytigerfic and Starry for almost sharing the same birthday, god the STRESS 😂 Tacky is my first and closest fandom friend. We clicked together so fast and easy that sometimes it feels like I’ve known her all my life, like we’re two dog moms living in the same neighborhood who happen to read fic in their free time. Despite our conflicting time zones and crazy schedules we manage to chat every other day, tagging and sending each other all kinds of stuff, coming together to cry scream about a brilliant fic we’ve just read or shaking our heads in embarrassment at every other unnecessary bullshit post. Tacky’s bright and wise energy uplifts my spirit even on my moody days, and makes me grateful for her friendship and for this fandom life. Okay so this got long and I had to put the rest under the cut:

It’s such a lovely and precious thing, to have someone with whom you can share every single thought that crosses your mind, your scariest, most embarrassing, petty or disturbing idea, without fear of being shamed or judged by it. I trust Tacky with all my heart to hear me out, share a joke or a piece of advice, even on the (rare) occasions when we don’t get the same perspective - that doesn’t happen often when it comes to Drarry, as we are taste twins!

Tacky my darling, you’re such a good person, and such an incredible friend. Thank you for introducing me to this lovely community, for being my safe haven and your unique self, with so many qualities I admire and feel inspired by: kind, witty, earnest, wise, and so very human. I love your humour and empathy, and your chill yet no-nonsense personality; I love your talent and how articulated you are; I love your passion for Drarry, and how you let this emotion inform the way you navigate the fandom and create for it. And god, but you’ve been creating some of the most beautiful content I’ve seen in these recent years! I’m permanently in awe of your ability to write Drarry in any shape, format or length, transforming even the most ordinary moment into an extraordinary and meaningful piece of character or relationship development. You know how you mentioned yesterday that some authors change the way you feel about a ship in a deep, definitive way? Well, you are that author for me. Your works made me fall in love with M-rated contemplative romance, and also allowed me to fall in love with Harry in a way I never thought it was possible before.

Some people - myself included - got to know you through the fun and intriguing A Lick and a Promise, others through the atmospheric and sensitive Modern Love, others through your contemplative and heartbreaking short form. Each story has its merits and purpose, and all of them share a Tacky trademark: the heartkick factor! Your talent has no limits and goes across different genres and tropes, that you explore with a bold twist full of personality and heart. And even more impressive is your consistency at always raising the bar - every new fic of yours becomes an instant fave and makes me think “wow I thought Tacky couldn’t get better yet here we are”. Seeing how your writing evolves as you find your narrative voice is a beautiful and humbling experience, I feel so lucky!

I’m really grateful for being active in the fandom at this moment in time, because that allows me to read and engage with your brilliant work, and to have you as a dear friend. I can’t wait to see what comes out of your beautiful brain next. It was an impossible job choosing a single fic to rec today, so I decided to do a belated Tacky reclist! Naturally these are my personal and biased must-reads, and I urge everyone to go check these beauties right now. Feel free to include your own favorites too, and don’t forget to leave them some appreciation.

Happy happy birthday my darling Tacky! This fandom life wouldn’t be the same without you. I hope you have the amazing day you deserve!

Between the Power Lines (2020, M, 3.2k)

The road trip fic you didn’t know you needed. I got utterly immersed in the heartbreaking quietness of this, feeling like a witness to an ordinary yet poignant love story. Such tender intimacy, such character development, such lovely American aesthetics with barely any dialogue. This is, IMO, the fic that reveals Tacky’s triumph in storytelling.

Even the Night (2020, M, 3.4k)

This fic has a surreal atmosphere, those Midsummer vibes unbelievably sexy and intoxicating linked to the sensorial experience of fumbling together in the night. Masterclass in tension building, a silky and languid dream-like affair.

Aim for my Heart (2021, M, 3.4k) - Harry/Draco/Ron

One of the most sensitive and stunning portraits I’ve ever seen of a poly/triad relationship, this fic packs so much character and longing! It’s a privilege to watch Ron and Draco’s tentative dynamics through the smitten eyes of the one person that loves them like no one else: Harry.

The Long Fall (2021, M, 3.6k)

I can’t even write about this tender domesticity without getting a lump in my throat. Best opening scene I’ve read in years, and a refreshing way to approach both mpreg and parenthood, painfully honest and lovely. This became an immediate comfort read for me, and it’s probably one of the fics I revisit the most.

Mortal Frame (2021, M, 6.6k)

This thrilling, fast-paced spy story left me breathless since the first paragraph, gods what an immersive ride! I’m so here for Drarry on the run, sharp and urgent with danger but mellowed by the silent trust and tender intimacy only Tacky can master. Major bonus points for the brilliant take on the Horcrux hunt plot line!

Last Offices (2020, M, 6.7k)

Oh, this fic 💔 I tend to avoid MCD but there’s something so deeply fascinating about body washing rituals that I caught myself mesmerized by this. I just couldn’t put it down, so emotionally compromised I felt. There’s a sort of strange comfort in the heartbreak of doing one last act of service out of devotion to someone. This fic inspired so many difficult but lovely feelings in me, and one of them was hope. Only Tacky could possibly achieve that!

Our Little Life (2020, M, 7.2k)

Inventive and singular, this story hit me straight on the solar plexus and left me speechless as I saw the (clever, magical and bittersweet) plot unravel. Such a fabulous take on alternate universes and all the angst potential behind it. Come and bask in the yearning melancholia of a short yet intricate and perfectly executed plot.

And One to Play (2019, E, 21k)

What a fun and delightful fic, I can’t have enough of pining Harry losing all sense of propriety when faced with a hot, competent and pragmatic Draco. This has fab dynamics, unhinged protectiveness, even more unhinged attraction between two idiots who can’t keep their hands off each other. A must-read for any Auror partners fan!

A Lick and a Promise (2019, E, 55k)

Hot, BAMF Professors carefully balancing a fuck buddies situation while solving a Hogwarts mystery, do we need anything else? I certainly do not. This fic is so fun and intriguing and immersive, with amazing supportive cast and a delicious get together feat secret shagging and oblivious pining. Love it!

Modern Love (2020, E, 61k)

My favorite read of 2020, this fic is a love letter to Drarry and will always hold a piece of my soul. Sensitive, wistful, tenderly aching and so very romantic, this is a Muggle Draco triumph with a superb Harry, exquisite slow burn and a side of suds comfort. I promise it will be impossible to listen to Bowie again without thinking of this love story.

Bonus: five stunning drabbles!

Something in the Way (2021, T, 119 words)

“Up,” he said, and Draco, sick with love, raised his arms above his head and allowed Potter to slide the jumper on him, big hands stroking it flat over Draco’s stomach until they both shivered.

Stir-Up Sunday (2020, M, 300 words)

“I want you always,” he said, tugging again on the fine curling length of it. “Is it okay to say that?”

Whalebone Arch (2021, M, 722 words)

“Are you still not talking to me?” Draco steered Harry towards the crisps. “Do I have to suck you off in the loo to cheer you up?”

Semiplume (2021, T, 923 words)

“Did you know,” Harry murmured, and he put his arms around Draco, fearless. “I’d be your mate. If you needed a mate, I mean.”

Relic Radiation (2021, M, 927 words)

“You’ll kill me,” Harry said, and Draco turned his face towards the darkened sky, lunar pale, his profile some stupid unearthly thing—a flaring blazar, a supernova—in the light from the kitchen window.

[hargrove-mayfields]

the tags on your football Billy story about autistic kids not being allowed to play sports, gave me the idea of Steve with autism not being allowed on the basketball team and how Billy and maybe Tommy if you want since you write kegboys sometimes would react

It doesn’t take Billy long to notice him, the benchwarmer boy who sits on the sidelines, never getting his shot in a single game, just riding the bench with a smile on his face.

At first he sort of pegs it to mean the kid is just really not good, maybe riding the tails of his daddy’s sportsmanship legacy, but then Billy realizes something, that this kid doesn’t even get to play at practice.

He shows up and he sits there like being excluded is the happiest he’s ever been, and the only time he ever has the ball in his hands at all is if it’s to toss it to one of the boys on the court when it rolls to him.

Despite this though, he has his very own jersey. Number zero. Harrington.

Billy asks Tommy after practice once who this mysterious jersey kid is, and he smiles sort of tight, like maybe Billy shouldn’t have asked him that, and tells him, “I’ll introduce you.”

Tommy walks over to the kid and tells him something that makes him light up, jump to his feet and follow Tommy back over, “Billy, this is my best friend, Steve Harrington.”

Steve just sort of waves, so Billy jumps straight into it. This kid intrigues him and he wants to know more, “There a reason you don’t play, Harrington?”

In response he shrugs his shoulders, hands stuffed in the pockets of his way too big basketball shorts, “I’m not allowed.”

“Why not? You fail some test or something?” Billy tries to ask lightly, not noticing the way Tommy’s face scrunches up before Steve drops a bombshell on him instead, “They don’t let special ed kids on the basketball team.”

And if that’s not bad enough, Tommy then adds, though significantly more bitter than even Steve is, “Or on any team for that matter, whether it’s sports or clubs or debate, you name it. School board denies every last application.”

“Oh.” Billy frowns, totally dumbfounded, his school in California never had any issues with that, “Oh that- that’s bullshit.”

“I know.” They say at the same time, prompting Billy to ask, “They don’t even have like, a separate team?”

“Not enough kids would do it.” Tommy says, and he gets a sharp look from Steve, who corrects him quickly, “Not enough kids could get permission to do it.”

“But that’s such bullshit.” Billy repeats, not very helpfully.

“Nothing we can do about it. We’ve tried everything. Not even momma Harrington could convince the school board, and let me tell you, that woman is scary.”

Steve elbows Tommy for that one, and Tommy laughs softly, throws an arm around his shoulder, but Billy is thinking, biting the corner of his nail in concentration, “Why don’t we start our own team?”

“I don’t know.” Steve’s face scrunches up, and he turns to Tommy, like he doesn’t trust what Billy says, so Billy continues, “No, I’m serious. School says you can’t play for them, so fuck ‘em. There’s courts in the park, I have a ball, and I’m out there half the time watching my little sister anyways. Let’s start our own team.”

Tommy answers for him, “Practice takes up too much time. We’re not gonna be much of a team unless we’re going to be playing at night or in the winter.”

“Then we quit the tigers.” Billy shrugs, like it’s obvious.

Instantly Tommy narrows his eyes, “Very funny, man.”

On the other hand though, Steve looks at him with awe written all over his face, eyes wide and spelling, “You’d really quit for me?”

And Billy, he plays it off like that look doesn’t make his heart melt, claiming, “For you and for Max who’s been talking my ear off about how much she wants to play soccer and whose heart is going to break when she finds out she can’t.”

Convinced, Tommy looks over at Steve, “If you’re in Stevie, I’m in too.”

Steve seems like he’s considering his options, drumming his fingers on the outside of his thigh, occasionally humming softly in thought, and it’s making Billy impatient.

“So?” He asks, to which Steve nods a confirmation to his offer, his hair bouncing with his enthusiasm.

Tommy cracks a crooked smile, holds out a hand for Billy to shake, seal the deal, “You’ve got yourself a team, Hargrove.”

They decide not to give their little team a name, the idea of being called something feels too exclusive, which was the reason they’d all quit the school's team in the first place. Billy had gotten in big trouble when his dad found out he quit for wasting their time and money on basketball, but that was all bullshit anyways, games were only usually a half hour long and were free to get into for the players family, and the school paid for the uniforms.

But that was what he said and what he’d been going to punish Billy for until they found out about the reasoning behind quitting, after which Susan was flattered he cared so much about his little sister, and he got his permission to freely go down to the park and play with the “special” kid.

Neil of course didn’t care about him doing it for Max, he was just concerned with Billy’s public image. Playing ball with the richest family in town's dopey son did nothing but good things for the way their neighbors saw him, so he’d allow it.

A few weeks into their games though, which are mostly just playing HORSE or teaching Steve how to do trickier shots since no coach ever would, Billy has to bring Max along because nobody was going to be home and she wasn’t allowed to be by herself. It’s a dreary day so there aren’t many people around at all, so he decides he’s going to loosen her leash, and walks her over to the playground (that they can see clearly from the courts, he’s not that irresponsible.)

He teasingly offers to push Max on the swings or lift her up to the monkey bars, making her roll her eyes and proudly declare that she’s not a baby anymore, so he chuckles and leaves her be, walking back to the basketball hoops.

Tommy and Steve are just sitting on the old wooden bench just off to the side of the court, waiting for Billy to get back because he’s their little impromptu coach and they can’t start without him, but he notices that they’re sitting awful close together, and between them, Tommy’s hand sits slightly on top of Steve’s, pinky fingers linked together.

Now he knows these two are affectionate, he couldn’t even count how many times Tommy picked Steve up after he made a good shot or ruffled his hair and smiled at him when he messed up, but that was all just friendly affection.

This was different though, he could tell it was from the way Tommy’s eyes snap up and he pulls his hand away, the both of them looking away from each other guiltily.

He feels a little something like jealousy in his chest, or maybe it was just anxiety at the fact that they’d been so obviously holding hands in the public park, but either way, he just kind of freezes up, looking between their two terrified faces until Tommy’s turns angry, standing from the bench so fast the old rusty things creaks loudly and Steve has to cover his ears.

He grabs the front of the baggy jersey Billy wears from his old school's team, the bears, and gets right up in his face, sneering, “You gonna say something, Hargrove?”

And Billy’s not afraid of Tommy, he might be mean, but he’s on his toes to threaten him, and he’s pretty sure they both know Billy would win the fight anyways. He’s not going to fight him though, and he makes that clear, putting his hands up as a clear sign of not going to sock Tommy for yelling at him, “Secrets safe with me, dudes. You go down, I’m going down with you.”

Tommy doesn’t get it though, because he growls, “Right. ‘Cause all that matters is what will happen to your reputation after giving up your precious sport just to hang with a couple of fags, right?”

“Tom.” Steve snaps, but he gets ignored, Billy arguing over him, “Actually, no. You know all that talk about queer kids flocking together without even knowing? That doesn’t come from nothing. I out you, it’s putting a target on my back, and from there it won’t be not long before a little birdie tells the wrong person the right rumor and we’re all dead.”

“Oh.” Tommy says softly, his face falling.

Billy nods sarcastically in response, “Yeah, oh. So let go of my damn shirt before I find a reason to punch you in the face.”

“Can we just play basketball?” Comes a timid request from behind them, so Tommy lets go, wipes his hands on his shorts, and answers him, “‘Course we can, Stevie.”

It doesn’t take long for them to get bored though, none of them are really in the mood to play after that. They play a small game that’s pretty much just Tommy blocking Billy the whole time, but after he shoots the ball they all just let it roll, none of them caring enough to keep the play going. So instead, Tommy offers up his place to hang out there.

It sounds at least better than this, so Billy drops Max off back at home, making her promise not to do anything stupid to get them in trouble until he gets back later that night, and heads straight to Tommy’s like they planned.

The whole drive he’s worrying that they’re gonna pissed at him and beating himself up for not just pretending like he didn’t notice, to the point where he almost just drives right past, but Steve waves at his car from the front window, and he can’t do all this petty angry shit to him.

Tommy’s house is empty for the night, so that means two things, that they’re free to drink as much as they want, (smoking’s a no go though, the smell is too strong and makes Steve upset), and that Steve sits right on Tommy’s lap like it’s nothing.

Which, it is nothing. Billy just told them he was gay too, and now they don’t have to hide from their best friend, so it’s common sense that they wouldn’t.

But Billy, well, he wouldn’t say he’s jealous watching the two of them together, it just makes his chest burn every time they touch or laugh at some joke and whisper amongst themselves like he isn’t even there, or when Steve kisses Tommy’s cheek.

Yeah no, there’s no pretending, Billy is totally jealous. He’s had a thing for Tommy since like, day one of practice when he bounced a basketball back in his own face trying to show off, and Steve for just as long, yearning to know more about the pretty faced mystery kid who turned out to be a total sweetheart and won him over. It’s tearing him to shreds watching them just being happy together without being a part of that.

He wonders if these small town boys have ever even heard of having more than one partner other than like, mormons, and if they haven’t, how is he supposed to bring it up without sounding like a total weirdo. Maybe he could claim that he was just trying not to be left out since they were probably the only queer kids in Hawkins. Or maybe not and Tommy would try to kick his ass again for even trying.

He doesn’t have to do much wondering though, because as pointedly as he’s trying to ignore them, Steve keeps getting closer to Billy on the couch until he’s sitting in his lap, and Billy has to ask, blue eyes going a little wide, cheeks flushing red in a way that had nothing to do with the sunburn he’d gotten at the park earlier, “What’re you doing Steve?”

“You included me. Now I’m including you.” Steve hums and leans his head on Billy’s shoulder, holding eye contact with Tommy.

To say that Billy is flustered and doesn’t know what to do with himself is more than an understatement. He'd like to say he’s not the most inexperienced one here, but it’s not looking good, because he’s flushed as red as a tomato, and the only thing he can think to say is just, “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Tommy says and smiles that big goofy smile of his, a playful imitation of their little argument from before, “And I’d much rather you kiss me than punch me.”

[captnjacksparrow]

Why do I ship SNS?

It is a known fact that when people experience a good media, they like to discuss various things they liked, hated, interpret what the creator trying to say and get something from what they have consumed. Eventually people end up in a shipping war if there are multiple possibilities. 

I started watching Naruto on a whim, hoping to see some ninjas in action with some revenge as a background (after all when you have power, there will always be a revenge). Am a sucker for revenge, btw. I am a person who hates romance in media. Because, every movie, book, novel, series has this same recycled romance plastered into every story even though the story don’t need at all. So, I am very tired of it. Every media portrays romance as something inevitable, necessary and something we can’t live without. That’s wrong. 

Usually, romance goes like this... Person A sees Person B... they hate each other and add some possessiveness, jealousy... they magically gets attracted through some shared experiences eventually... they kiss and make babies. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s just very tiring as I’ve seen million forms of this same repeated trope. I always cringe and yell “Can you give us something different? Grrr.....”.

And also, my motto is that love can happen with any person. It can’t be restrained into certain boundaries. So, I don’t like to put some relationship under an umbrella called Gay, Lesbian, Straight or whatever. Of course, illicit relationships and incest are not normal and am not okay with it.

With all that being said...

My experience after watching the Shippuden series until episode 478 was “Wait, do they love each other?”. I know am very late to realize this, but I have never even viewed them with any romantic lens throughout. 

On my first watch, I was always under the impression that “They are friends”... But there are certain moments I felt “Wait, why are they doing like this which could’ve been handled in a different way!!” I will get to this later in this post. But those moments were overlooked by me because of my curiosity of “What happens next ??”. 

And on my rewatch, it only confirmed my view. 

The other popular ships like SS and NH put forth many points to invalidate what SNS represents. The most common being “They are reincarnated brothers” or  “They are best friends”. Am just going to debunk them from my point of view. 

Naruto and Sasuke are like brothers.....

Nope. 

The best brotherhood title, in this series, should officially go to Itachi and Sasuke. 

You can argue as much as you want that Itachi mindfucked Sasuke and killed his parents....yaada yaada.... 

It is repeatedly shown why Itachi put a curtain on his own clan. The reason is, Uchiha clan decided to forcefully take over the village. No matter how much innocent you are, you cannot take over something with force. Dot. I will write about this in a separate post.

In short, Sasuke realised how his clan members were wrong after hearing the story from the First Hokage, Hashirama Senju. That’s why he openly proclaimed “I am going to protect Konoha and become Hokage”. 

Back to the topic, Itachi and Sasuke are blood brothers. If I ship them both, then what you claim is very valid. 

The above gif says, “Sasuke, I know, I made a mistake by filling you with hatred. But whatever you decide to do from now on, I will love you always”. Meaning, He stopped treating Sasuke as a kid and accepts that Sasuke has his own path to walk.

This is exactly how brothers behave. I would do the same to my kid sister. You can see a fraternal instinct from Itachi’s eyes realizing that this is their last time together.

Another thing, Brothers trope always has this hierarchy.... Protect the younger sibling no matter what. It is evident from Madara/Izuna and Hashirama/Tobirama.

Not convinced?

If you pull the Indra and Ashura bullshit, let me tell you one thing. Indra and Ashura were separated and formed their own clan long ago. They eventually branched off into Uchiha and Senju clans. No way you can relate a century old blood relation as brothers. It’s just their chakra got reincarnated over and over. 

Don’t pull up an incest angle between Naruto and Sasuke. Because they never shared a womb. Dot. 

Naruto and Sasuke are Best Friends only.

You know what, you are almost right. I thought that for a very long time. Remember I never wore any shipping goggles ON. 

There are two types of best friend categories. Best Friends without a reason and Best Friends through rivalry. 

Best Friends without a reason in Narutoverse are: Shikamaru/Choji. 

They just became friends and became BFF. They won’t fight or hurt each other. But when you have something to share...you would go to that person and share everything honestly.

Best Friends through Rivalry: Kakashi/Obito, Hashirama/Madara, Naruto/Sasuke

I really cannot provide more proof for the first two pairings as Best Friends as it is not the scope of this post. Although the latter two also qualifies for shipping category. Why?

Because, the common thing among them is that all the three Uchihas awakened/reawakened their Sharingan for their best friend. But Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke are the only pairings to awaken or evolve Sharingan when trying to break their bonds with each other. 

Special Brownie points for Madara. He had 4 brothers and lost 3 but still couldn’t awaken his Sharingan but when trying to break up with Hashirama, his eyes were brimming red. 

Sasuke’s Sharingan matures in the first Valley of The End.

That’s why I excluded Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke from this Best Friends list.

Because to the both Uchihas, the other person meant something special which cannot be comprehended into a mere term called ‘Best Friends’.

Which is exactly why Kakashi/Obito would perfectly fall into this category.

The way they quarrel, fight with each other, protect each other are perfect scores for a friendship. What makes them best friends is when Obito decided to give his Sharingan despite Kakashi was always putting a cold air around him and most importantly asked him to protect his love ‘Rin’. Also Kakashi carried his friend’s will to his heart and passed on to Team 7.

It all falls under ‘In the memory of my Best Friend’ trope.

Obito may be a trash but he is a good friend. Because after Rin was killed, he massacred everyone around him except for Kakashi. He could have killed him. Understandable. Or he could have plucked his Sharingan back (because he literally plucked most of the Sharingans from the Uchiha clan massacre and kept those eyes as a reserve). This could have enabled him to use Susanoo. I believe Susanoo can only be used with Mangekyo Sharingan in both eyes. But for some reason, he didn’t. 

So what makes me think Naruto and Sasuke love each other, not as a brother and not as a friend but something beyond which I can’t term?

My way of shipping is not about marriage, sex and rearing babies. Because literally everyone does this as an obligation. 

So, I don’t ship them in terms of living together in my headcanon and having sex daily. Nope. But it is not wrong though if you ship in that sense.

In this Narutoverse, Women are just some stow away pieces whose sole existence is to fawn over their dreamboy and cry for them. (Usually literally nothing useful comes out of them). Me being a girl, as much as I hate this setup but I have come to terms with whatever it is and have accepted it. If you are a girl looking for a strong female character...... this is not the place. Watch something else. 

But I draw inspiration from male characters who are characterized deeply for which I have to applaud the creator. Reason being, the very first character which I connected with was Itachi. It was when Sasuke thinks about his past with his family in the flashback before the first VotE battle in part I. I will be writing a separate post about Itachi in this week. 

In short, If you are a person who wants inspiration, draw it from male characters. Not in a single moment, you stoop so low for characters like Hinata and Sakura. That’s not how I envision myself or any woman. Dot.

With all this being said, I ship them as a couple who necessarily don’t have to get married or have sex... But they each other has some special allowance towards each other in their hearts which no one can touch, not even their wives or children. 

This doesn’t mean I accept what came after episode 478 as they are literally something they made for $$$$$. 

There are some basic traits which are absolutely necessary for a ship to sail successfully. They are Acknowledgement, Reason, No Hierarchy, Influence, Owning each others rights and Privilege. (All these reasons should come from both the sides for the ship to be worthy)

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Acknowledgement, I mean here, is to accept and acknowledge what they are to each other.

They both agree that they are Bonded/Friends verbally as well as emotionally.

To me, this is essential in any relationship especially for the ones you are trying to ship. I didn’t see this in any other ships like SS or NH where it is always one sided. Sakura confessed before the village entrance to which Sasuke said “You really are annoying!!”. Hinata proposed in Pain arc. Naruto didn’t even acknowledge her confession. He went on to beg for pardon for Sasuke. Again she proposed in the War at the expense of Love Cupid “Neji”. Naruto went on to joke with Minato that Sakura is his Girl Friend. 

If I were in both of these girls place, I would literally be mad and drop this shit right away.

Wheras in SNS, I saw both the people I am trying to ship were asking “What am I to you?”, to which they reply “You are my friend”. To me this is very important.

Reason

To those who are saying “Love is blind”, “Love is Madness”, “Love needs no reason”, you all need self-evaluation. This is not some K Drama situation where you don’t need any reason. You should know why you love someone and why you need the other’s presence.

Naruto’s reason is very simple.

I could provide many reasons. But here, Sasuke, without any reservations... knowing full well of the consequence if he feed Naruto but still extended the helping hand to someone who was always hostile. It is just like what Iruka did. And many incidents which happened during Land of the Waves arc are evident.

He wanted to be friends with this lonely Uchiha boy way back when he was around 7 or 8 for a simple reason that he understands his pain more than anyone. But he really became friends when they were grouped together for Team 7.  

Sasuke’s reason goes even way beyond when Naruto series started.

“Because he felt relief”.

Imagine a young boy who witnessed a massacre before his eyes and lost everyone he loved. But somehow another young boy of his age made him feel relieved. This explains why Sasuke went all out of his way to make friendship with Naruto despite being aloof. 

Isn’t this what we want from someone we love?  

Rather than being completely insensitive about an orphan life or just stalking from the distance and never offered any support, I would prefer someone who understands my pain from their heart and try to reach me. Sasuke reached out to him by offering the lunch and Naruto reached out to him by making him his rival and bug him.

NO HIERARCHY

This is pretty self-explanatory. Unlike blood brothers, there should be no hierarchy in a relationship I want to ship. 

We saw Naruto yells at Sasuke many times absolutely for no reason, despite Sasuke bearing this cold attitude. Probably he is the only person who can call him by such variety of names. 

Sasuke always calls him by his trademark ‘Usuratonkachi’. Sometimes he calls him fool just like everyone. But was never insulting or mean towards Naruto. Except for that time in the final battle, he made fun of his Shadow Clone jutsu citing his loneliness. 

In short, be it a physical fight or verbal offense.... neither of them wilts like a flower. They equally give back. 

The only other person who can verbally assault Sasuke is Karin and probably the only girl who never addresses him as “Sasuke-Kun”. 

U-SU-RA-TON-KA-CHI..... Why do Sasuke spend such an effort to call someone with a 6 syllabic word, instead NA-RU-TO, a 3 syllabic word which is way more convenient to call?? I always wonder.

POSITIVE INFLUENCE

I don’t have to spell out anything here. There are many obvious examples but will try to keep it short. 

Naruto became strong because of Sasuke. He trained hard for 3 years with Jiraiya , a month with Kakashi developing Rasen Shuriken and controlled Kurama’s power with Killer Bee. Except for Sage Mode jutsu everything he learnt was all for bringing Sasuke back. 

In short, Sasuke is Naruto’s predominant strength. 

Though Naruto was not the source of strength for Sasuke, but he brings out many vibrant emotions in Sasuke which he really needed for his traumatic mind otherwise he would always be that cold angry brooding doll without any emotions and I am sure Sasuke enjoys to banter with Naruto.

LOL!!! I don’t know why Sasuke feels competitve here. It’s pretty childish even for Sasuke.

Friendly tease :-) I think he also protected Sakura in this scene. He can also ask her the same, isn’t it? I mean as a friend. 

The best one is yet to come

It’s incredibly hilarious to see how Sasuke pouts when he was with Naruto. Sakura!!!! You third wheeling joker :-D :-D

Throughout Shippuden, Sasuke never shows his emotions with anyone. He either looks very cold or angry.

Reminiscing his Team 7 days, for a split second. 

Probably the only positive emotion is this, in all of the Shippuden. I mean not counting Episode 478.

I don’t think Sakura brought any kind emotions in Sasuke except annoyance when they were together in Team 7. Or Hinata too. These girls just moan “Sasuke-Kun”, “Naruto-Kun” but brings nothing to the table. Total wastrels!!!!!

OWNING EACH OTHER’S RIGHTS

This section is exactly where SNS moves on to a whole different level.

Sasuke wanted to inflict his pain over everyone who lives in peaceful Konoha for what it did to Itachi. (though I don’t really accept with Sasuke here since he never even bothered to question about his clan’s history, but what he was doing is understandable. Just like Naruto tells him).

But the context here is Sasuke is on a murder rampage. Starting from the Kage Summit, killing Danzo, unnecessarily hurting Karin and almost reached a point where he could not be stopped anymore. Then Ms.Annoying appears. She literally have no fucking clue what Sasuke is going through. So started to spout nonsense that she wanted to go with Sasuke-Kun with an ulterior motive to kill him without a strong resolve. 

The interesting SS dynamics here is Sasuke asks Sakura “Do you know what I want?” and to which she gives a carefree-shitty-pathetic answer “I don’t care. I will do whatever you want”. Geez!!!

If I were Sasuke, I would think, “This person standing before me don’t even care about what I want but coming with an intent to kill me and not only that... she is a kunoichi from Konoha where I planned to inflict my pain by slaughtering them.. I better ram my Chidori and be done with it”... He doesn’t see her as his former Teammate. He just want to kill that person.

However, Kakashi deflects the attack and saves Ms.Useless. 

( Me : I am a Sasuke fan through and through. But, Sakura..... You always says you will do this, do that.... But you never succeed at anything... Why is that? Why are you even continue being a ninja? No one asked you to kill Sasuke, you decided to. But why don’t you kill him. Probably you would’ve earned my begrudging respect... Pffft” ****sighs with a heavy second hand embarassment)

Anyways, Sasuke becomes an unstoppable maniac at this point because he was very irritated on seeing Kakashi and Sakura spouting some unreachable nonsense. So he started to attack Kakashi as he is even more irritated on seeing his Sharingan.

Again, Ms.Idiot wants to kill Sasuke when he is at his weakest point due to chakra exhaustion and that too from behind his back. (You!!! Gutless wrench). Sasuke sensed this and attempted to kill her again... (Naruto!!! You idiot. Why did you save her...)

However, Naruto appears and saves her. Naruto and Sasuke’s eyes meet each other.

But somehow Sasuke calmed down and hears out Naruto for what he has to say. He says, “Whatever you are doing until now, it’s understandable”. 

Kakashi wanted to kill him and Sasuke got riled up and prepare his Chidori. Anyways, Naruto intervenes and they go to some meta physical plane and talks privately. And Naruto comes up with his idea and announces as below:

Me: Naruto!!!! Sweety..... Do you realize that you have a big dream of becoming a Hokage which you have been shouting from Day 1? But still you want to overthrow everything for that one person who is in unbearable pain. It’s alright. But you don’t want to go alone or send him alone. No Best friend would go this far. And to those Sakura shippers.... Why didn’t Sakura try to bear the burden? Why didn’t she come up with this Idea? Afterall, you spout nonsense like ‘Sakura saved Sasuke from Darkness, isn’t it?’ And, Naruto.... Who gave you the right to take his hatred and shoulder the burden? And what makes you think you are that only person to do it??? Sasuke, might have other special person in those 3 years. How can you decide on Sasuke’s behalf??? Aren’t you going overboard ?

The answer to all the above is simple, Naruto can risk anything for Sasuke. And he clearly knew that Sasuke’s only living bond is him.

And what happened next was almost unbelievable and for the first time I thought ‘What is it with these two guys?’. 

Sasuke agrees with Naruto’s proposition to not destroy Konoha before fighting with Naruto. 

Me: Sasuke!!!! You have every right to reject his proposition. Since, he was not in your life for the past 3 years, your side of bond with Naruto should have been cut-off long back, right? Sasuke??? Well, at this point he was just your former Team 7 member. You don’t need to honor your proposition. You can attack Konoha anytime. Why did you accept?

Also Me: Sweety!!! Why do you always question Naruto ‘Who am I to you’? Why do you need his opinion always? There is an annoying princess standing behind Naruto vying for your attention. And yet you didn’t even ask her this question at any time. But before Naruto, you completely calmed down from your rampage and willing to wait for what he has to say plus asking for his validation. After all you don’t care about anything, why just Naruto???

And the reason being, Naruto is still his closest bond which he couldn’t cut off despite trying very hard. After all, Many years ago, Sasuke was the one, who readily jumped in to protect Naruto knowing full well that it’s a trap. He was ready to throw away his revenge for this boy back then. Sasuke is afraid that he will give in to this bond once more and Naruto is his weakness which he wants to eliminate so badly.

This is definitely not any Best Friend would do..... Fix that in your mind.

The purpose of these GIFs is not show how protective Sasuke is..... Well, I can talk about it all day. Let’s save it.

Me: Yo!!!! Sasuke..... You wanted to kill Naruto.... You said so yourself under the bridge. Meaning, He is the only person standing between your goal and your resolve and Naruto is always known to weaken your resolve. And yet why are you protecting him here? There is absolutely no need. Because, if there is a situation like Kaguya where both of you are must needed to save this world , then there is a reason to save him. But why now? Plus do you know, if Naruto dies, then Madara’s plan may not succeed because if a Jinchuriki dies, tailed beast also dies. It is perfect for your Revolution, isn’t it? Who gave you the right to own his life? Obito has his reason to kill Naruto, why not let him?Why is it that you want to personally remove him from your life? If he is dead by an external factor, you can carry on your path without any interference and pain. Why go so far to protect him ?

The answer is Sasuke values Naruto’s life more than his own even during his Team 7 days. He has this high esteem for Naruto and almost consider it to be a shame if some worthless fool takes his life. And Sasuke never hated Naruto. He once hated Itachi and his resolve to kill was real and intense. But when Orochimaru asked him to kill 1000 people for practice, Sasuke never killed anyone. He even implemented no kill policy for his team “Hebi”. So, someone like Sasuke who never liked to kill random innocent people, how could he let some trash take away a life, he considers dearly to the same level of Itachi? That’s why in this situation, his body moved on his own to protect something special for him. He may not agree it, but he always shows it.

But some other ship wankers try to say Sasuke may have said “You are annoying” but inside he deeply loved her which is why he was smiling. If so, Why didn’t Sasuke never showed his care not even once? He not only tried to kill her twice when she was defenseless but also let her die twice or didn’t bother at all during the war. Or show me where these soul level connection happened between SS or NH

In short, Sasuke and Naruto own each other’s rights unconsciously. Because they are the only ones who can understand each other’s soul which nobody can reach.

Me: Oh, by the way Sasuke, I think Susanoo should be used like this. You really don’t need your hand to protect Naruto. Susanoo can do it’s work for you. Minato would be proud though!!!!

PRIVILEGE

Most of the points I written above are in and of itself is a privilege they give for each other and not for anyone else. Privilege is essential in a ship. Because it shows how different a loved one is from normal people. 

For Naruto, 

I originally want to put how he begs for forgiveness on Sasuke’s behalf before Raikage and weeps immeasurably before hyperventilating. But this one trumps the other. Naruto literally broadcasted everyone how important Sasuke is to him and how he regretted not offering his friendship at that time and how he couldn’t stop Sasuke from reaching Orochimaru. 

If you want to inspire Alliance shinobi forces, you should have shown how you worked so hard from the bottom to top. Projecting Sasuke as your regret and inspiring people shows how deeply you prioritize this person which affects you after so many years and hence, you don’t want any more regrets. 

It’s very unconventionally romantic which passes the shipping category in flying colours. 

For Sasuke,

The following is the Land of the waves arc which was novelized in the name of Innocent Heart, Demonic Blood released in 2006. 99.9% of the material is exactly as it happens in Manga/Anime. 

This is the privilege Sasuke provides for Naruto. “ But coming from Sasuke, It almost counted as a hug”... 

BROWNIE POINTS:

Now, the following are the scenes which add a mysterious flavour to this ship. I sincerely don’t understand why Kishimoto put this. I mean I am absolutely happy with it, but why? What was he thinking while drawing these scenes? 

It’s also strange that, whenever they clash a Chidori with Rasengan..... They always gets repelled to their own sides and fall with a loud thump. But Naruto’s posture looks very perfect, I mean it looks like someone carried him and laid him down. Anyways, What’s Sasuke doing on Naruto’s side?? He should have fell on the opposite side. Why didn’t he walk away? There is absolutely no reason for Sasuke to come over to Naruto’s side and have an intense meaningful gaze. 

This is another mysterious plus intense scene. I am still wondering, Is this really Sasuke? He is a person who avoids casual touches with anyone other than his brother. I’ve seen so many times Sasuke rejecting hugs from Sakura. I can’t even imagine what Kishimoto was thinking. 

If you people pass these scenes off as Brotherhood or Best Friend chemistry... Then you lack basic human emotions. That’s all. 

Me: Well, Sasuke, If you really want to kill him, you should have shovelled your sword right through Naruto’s vital point when you made that exuberant landing. There is literally no need for you to draw a long sword in close quarters. And what about the Personal Space??? With your speed, you can land without leaning on Naruto’s shoulders... 

Also Me: Yo, Naruto... You were panicking when Sai does the same....but you don’t even flinch when Sasuke invades your personal space????

Anyways, it’s funny that both the intense scenes I have mentioned here were initiated by Sasuke. Quite strange and thrilling.

So, to conclude.... All these scenes I have mentioned  made me unconsciously ship them as a pair. With all these being said, I believe all the ingredients for a good romance were laid perfectly. A moment of impulsive tension or affection, say a hug, between them after a difficult battle could mess with both and make a romance happen. And I don’t think either of them will deny especially Sasuke. 

I don’t see any of this aspect in other popular ships such as SS and NH. If I am Sakura or Hinata in this universe, I will not be okay with my pair doing all these things with other person. I intentionally left scenes from Episode 478 as it is so intense and require a separate post. I am happy that even without Episode 478, SNS ship sails high. So, I believe both Sakura and Hinata are still fourth wheeling their respective pairs in Boruto universe also, I guess. 

P.S: I don’t watch Boruto

Final memento:

No way a friend will look this mesmerized on seeing the other one.