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fanmoose12 · 3 years

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Levi ignored the formal greetings and salutes of the soldiers he passed as he made his way through the barracks. His mind was focused on one thing and one thing only. He had to get to the infirmary.

Apparently, Hange had decided to start her experiments bright and early that day. So early that the sun had barely begun to rise. Not long after, a titan's arm broke free from its restraints and swung at Hange while her back was facing away. With no time to react, the full force of the attack had her instantly flying through the air and only stopping when her body met a wall. Levi didn't comprehend much of the details after that. He simply threw on his uniform as is, not bothering a second glance in the mirror.

He bit back a chill as he entered the courtyard, not knowing whether it was from the sudden cold winter air or from his own nerves. It was only then that he realized he had left without throwing on a coat.

When he entered the infirmary, he immediately noticed a small group of people huddled together. Hange's squad, Mike, Nanaba, and Erwin along with a nurse Levi didn't recognize. They all spoke in hushed whispers and, as if on cue, all turned to look at him. His pace suddenly slowed, an uncomfortable feeling settled in the pit of his stomach at their ominous gazes. He hesitated to approach.

After a moment, Erwin resumed speaking to the nurse and exchanged a few more words before she finally walked away. Erwin then dismissed the rest of the group as they shuffled away, avoiding eye contact as they passed Levi.

Levi swallowed the lump that formed in his throat and approached Erwin. "How's Hange?" He asked, hoping the tremor in his voice wasn't obvious.

"Levi," Erwin began, his voice stern and his jaw tight. "How long have you known about Hange's condition?"

"Just this morning." He answered.

Erwin's brow furrowed and Levi could see the wrinkles in his face. "I will ask again. How long have you known about Hange's condition?"

The question was puzzling. What kind of answer was Erwin looking for? Levi felt like a child being chastised. He was coming in blind to this whole situation, only knowing the information that Moblit had told him earlier.

"Moblit came by my room about twenty minutes ago and told me about the accident. I came as fast as I could."

Erwin's eyes stared intently at Levi, as if he was trying to look through him instead of at him. It was then that Levi noticed the small beads of sweat lining his forehead.

Levi's heart rate quickened. Something wasn't right. "Erwin, what the hell is going on?"

What was Erwin trying to get out of him? What did he know that Levi didn't? Was Hange sick? Surely he would've noticed, right? Then again, they hadn't seen much of each other recently. Hange had been busy testing a new theory involving the evaporation of titan blood and Levi had been assigned to oversee the development of the new training grounds.

She and Levi had grown close. Immensely close. Too close for Levi's comfort sometimes. They had become a bonded pair in all forms; emotionally, physically, and mentally. They knew each other's strengths and short-comings, their pet peeves and bad habits, their fears and hopes, the way each other tasted and smelled, how their bodies felt intertwined, the rhythm of each other's heartbeats. Hange had become the one thing Levi never wanted; someone to lose.

As if Erwin could sense his inner turmoil, his shoulders dropped and his eyes relaxed. "You really don't know, do you?"

"Nobody's told me a damn thing."

Erwin released a tired sigh. "Hange is alive but she suffered a concussion. The nurse wants to keep her here for a few days to monitor her once she wakes up."

"How long has she been unconscious?"

"I'm not sure but this could have been much worse. In more ways than you realize."

Levi could feel his frustration reaching its peak. "Why not just come out and tell me whatever the hell it is you're hiding?"

Erwin just shook his head. "It's not for me to tell. We'll continue this at a later time. You may see her if you'd like."

Levi decided not to further the discussion and made his way towards the room. Once his hand had reached the doorknob, he heard Erwin's voice behind him. "Levi, once you're finished, meet me in my office. We have much to discuss."

Levi's hand tightened around the doorknob. He didn't like being left in the dark but he was humanity's strongest, surely he could handle whatever news Erwin was refusing to disclose.

He shook the thought from his mind, wanting to be solely focused on Hange. He readied himself for the sight and pushed open the door.

Hange appeared natural as she slept in the hospital bed before him. Her expression was peaceful with the usual stress lines in her face relaxed. Her glasses rested on a table next to the bed with her uniform and winter coat thrown over a wooden chair. She had been changed into a hospital gown with a white bandage wrapped around her head.

"That was an extreme stunt to pull just to get some sleep don't you think, four eyes?" Levi mused.

He examined the bandage and noticed a minimal amount of blood from a scrape on the side of her head. He wasn't sure what the worry was about. Concussions were a normal injury for most soldiers, especially new recruits who were practicing with their ODM gear.

Still, Erwin had mentioned her "condition" which meant there was something Levi was missing, something he wasn't seeing.

"Sorry about this, Hange." He said as he grabbed the blanket on top of her and tossed it to the side.

Before the blanket had even touched the ground, Levi had stumbled away from Hange's bedside until his back was forced against the wall. His heart beat hard against his chest, he struggled to catch his breath and felt as if he was suffocating, his knees trembled beneath him, and his mind could not comprehend the sight before him.

Levi looked around the room as if an explanation would appear before him. He couldn't bring himself to look at her again. He was almost thankful that she was asleep.

The sight of her winter coat suddenly drew his attention. Like most things, Hange was too engrossed in her research and often careless when it came to her own health. Levi would often find her outside in the snow, watching over her precious titans, wearing nothing more than her usual brown jacket. She never bundled herself properly and always claimed she felt fine despite the obvious signs of her red nose, chapped lips, chattering teeth, and shivering body. And as expected, Levi would be the one to have to care for her when she fell ill.

Although, come to think of it, this was the first year that Hange had actually been adamant about wearing her coat. Each time Levi saw her, she had it buttoned around her, refusing to take it off even when indoors. And if he thought about it further, he realized that it always looked a size too big for her.

The realization suddenly came crashing on him as all the pieces fell into place. The air felt as if it had been knocked out of him and his head was spinning. If it weren't for the wall supporting him, he's sure he would have collapsed.

It didn't feel real. It couldn't be real.

It was stupid, he knew, the evidence was right in front of him but he just had to confirm it for himself. He looked towards her still sleeping face and then very slowly trailed his eyes down her body until he was staring at a small bump on her torso.

He steadied his knees and pushed himself away from the wall. It felt like an eternity before he was finally able to move his legs and reach her bed side. With a shaky hand and a deep ragged breath, he outstretched his arm until it rested gently on her swollen abdomen. He ignored the water stinging the corner of his eyes and forcefully blinked the sensation away.

It was as if his mind was not his own as he began to slowly stroke small circles on top of her belly. As he was getting used to the feeling, he felt a sudden pressure hit against his head. He immediately froze his movements and waited. A few seconds passed and there it was again, a small push to his hand.

He released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and could feel his lips curve into a smile. He was feeling a kick. The being inside of Hange was making it self known to him.

He became overwhelmed with an abundance of conflicting emotions bombarding him all at once. He had so many thoughts, questions, ideas, fears. At that moment all he could do was reach for her hand and relish in the comfort of her warmth beneath his palm. He needed her here with him.

And then a new realization chilled him to his core.

She would eventually awaken...wouldn't she?

"Hange." He whispered desperately. "Please, wake up."

omg, you got me so worried!! i thought hange lost the baby, but whew! i'm so glad the baby is alright! and your writing is top notch! if you ever think of posting it and maybe adding a second part...... hmu?

#it was so intense i was at the edge of my seat! even contemplated skipping convo between levi and erwin to see how it's going to end #but smh...... now i'm so interested in what erwin is going to tell levi

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pinkjiminssi · 3 years

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So.. About That Hickey..

I think I’m still processing all of this and reminding myself I’m not dreaming 🤣 I seriously only got 3 hours of sleep last night and when I woke up the first thing I did was check twitter to be sure this “drunk bridal-style spinning hickey neck biting proudly showing off” moment actually happened!!

.. I hate the way my brain works though. I was so happy that it took me forever to fall asleep, spent all day on cloud 9 despite being tired, .. and then my old nemesis, anxiety, stepped in. Well kind of. TBH if all of the MOTS ON:E Jikook moments we got happened with Jimin/anyone else or Jungkook/anyone else.. I would seriously be sitting here saying “well fuck.. I believe they WERE a couple, but looking at all of this it seems they are no longer together.” So really, this just confirmed what I already knew about Jimin and Jungkook: they’re a couple. My anxiety is over.. why? Why show us this? If they can cover all of JK’s tattoos, a hickey/bite mark/whatever we’re calling it should be super easy to hide. Sure it was just rehearsal.. but it was rehearsal with cameras rolling with every intention of releasing what was being filmed as future content. It could have (and some might argue should have) been covered.

Guys... I’m confused. And concerned. ❗❗❗ TW for drama, hate, homophobia, the usual anti issues

That “official” explanation.. again.. why? I’m assuming Jimin and Jungkook were asked and allowed to explain because of the chance of it being spotted and armys freaking out, so BH (or possibly even Jikook) thought to get ahead of the speculation by just being up front about it all.. but THAT explanation? I suppose it works for covering up the army panic of “Jungkook has a girlfriend?! *insert fangirl sobbing*” .. but that’s literally all it does (and only barely if you go looking at some of the anti’s reactions to it all). Really, all it did was draw even more attention and speculation. I mean.. this is, essentially, what we were told: Jimin and Jungkook were together the night before drinking, apparently without the other members as they didn’t seem to know all of this already (and they would have if they had been there), somehow hanging out and having drinks turns into Jungkook picking Jimin up bridal style (random but some of the k-army reactions on twitter were translating through google into “princess style” and I just think that’s so cute 🥰), spinning ensues, Jimin gets dizzy and wants Jungkook to put him down, ... and so he proceeds to do the only logical thing that any of us would have done in that situation... biting Jungkook’s neck? And hard enough to leave a mark the next day?? And instead of being peeved about it (like most of us would have been if our friend bit the crap out of us), Jungkook looks happy?? proud even???

And they arrived together the next day and continue to be cute and playful?

I just.. I mean.. come on. First of all.. that’s a hickey. A bite leaves teeth marks. And one would assume a wild, drunken “let me down” chomp would be something that happens suddenly and ends very quickly. I know I for sure would drop someone on their ass if they decided to take a bite out of my neck (assuming I was even picking up and spinning around with one of my friends like that to begin with.. but let’s not even get into why that was going on at this point) .. but the way this bruised? Yeah. There were no teeth involved (at least not hard enough to leave indentations) and this took more than a couple of seconds of mouth-to-neck contact to still be that visible the next day. So.. in short. Jungkook arrives with a hickey, JK decides to not cover it up (or he would have shown up with it hidden and we see him get out of the car that morning with it clearly visible), BH staff sees it and also decides to not have it covered up and actually have it explained... and the explanation is “oh yeah Jimin just bit him, you know.. no big deal hehehe isn’t that funny?” 🤯 WHAT?! Yeah.. that’s totally normal, platonic behavior between adults...

I’m not saying Jimin and Jungkook are lying btw. I have no doubt it played out more or less exactly as they said with the exception of what they’re calling the end result. Jimin and Jungkook are fine.. I mean, what were they supposed to say? They’re not going to show up saying Jimin was sucking on Jungkook’s neck the night before. We’ll probably never know why Jungkook decided to not cover it up before arriving, but it’s his body and he gets to decide. It’s BH that has me so puzzled. Other than antis and people who refuse to see what’s literally right in front of their faces when it comes to Jikook.. who were BH expecting to believe the bite thing? Just among staff and the other members, it’s a laughable but safe “oh of course *wink wink*” explanation that allows everyone to carry on like normal. But to the public who don’t know them personally, don’t know their usual behavior and patterns, and who don’t have something like a non-disclosure agreement or professional courtesy preventing them from openly speculating.. it doesn’t fly. Pretty much everyone teen and up knows what a hickey looks like (either from having gotten/given one or at least seeing one on someone else in person or online). It’s immediately obvious what it is. And even if there was some uncertainty.. that it’s on his neck (instead of other easily accessible and less sensitive/stimulating locations) and just so happens to be right near his mole as it Jimin were aiming for it? Just another “too many coincidences” thing when it comes to Jikook.

Even antis on twitter couldn’t deny what it was and, so, had to resort to the “well I do that with my sibling and my uncle’s pet raccoon all the time it’s just family things” excuse and/or the “yeah well someone ELSE in the group (or a girlfriend) gave him that and they’re just covering by saying it was Jimin.” Oh. And the same old “it’s just fan service” excuse (as if Jungkook would let someone bruise his neck for the purposes of fanservice which, again, BTS has never done or needed to do. Forever pissed off that so many in this fandom act like Jungkook is a puppet doing whatever the “evil company” tells him to do regardless of his personal feelings or boundaries. The man has tattoos covering nearly every inch of his arm despite that being looked down on in Korea. At this point he can do whatever the fuck he wants). So.. why?? Seriously, why? This all could have easily been avoided with simple makeup.

When they’re doing official content they’re all literally followed around by a flurry of staff fixing hair, dabbing sweat, touching up makeup, etc. Even though it was rehearsal, staff were everywhere in the footage that’s made its way online. If they were worried that it would be seen in the background and “taken the wrong way,” just have the staff occasionally touch up the makeup. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy.” But instead of doing the obvious, BH decides to: not cover it, draw attention to it by asking about it and letting them continue to talk about it, go out of their way to get a camera on it, and then include it in the final cut of the content they sent out?

BTS is literally the most popular group in the world right now and BH has become a behemoth of a company that runs like a well-oiled machine. They’re not stupid; this was not a mistake. For some reason they wanted us to see this and, one would assume based on the lack of a more believable explanation, they wanted us to come to the conclusion that we all have: Jimin gave Jungkook a hickey. You know they have teams dedicated to monitoring reactions to content on social media. You know they know the dialog surrounding Rosebowl, Black Swan MMA, the Memories 2020 “almost kiss,” etc. etc. All of this got “jikook,” “hickey” and variations of their names trending for HOURS (in multiple countries and worldwide).

Out of curiosity, I decided to check the trends at the time of writing this. As of 3 AM CST (about 24 hours AFTER the clips started showing up online), there was still a hashtag trending related to all of this: #FREEJUNGKOOK.. and the tweets being directed toward BH are.. disturbing to say the least:

While I agree that the boys should trend more often based on their talents and music.. what’s going on right now is a homophobic 💩 show accusing BH of “scripting” interactions (rather than.. you know.. Jungkook interacting with whoever he wants however he wants.. the usual “mindless puppet JK” narrative), trying to coordinate the mass sending of angry emails, trying to get people to stop buying paid content, accusing BH of taking advantage of the members.. I mean it goes on and on. And BH know what’s going on right now. They’re seeing the reactions... the good and the extremely negative. And still they let this out. And this is all not even CONSIDERING the mountain of other moments that made the cut on MOTS ON:E.

(side note, the above pic just oozes happiness and it’s so cute I love it!! 😭)

So.. even though I’ve said it dozens of times already... WHY? W H Y? I’m an anxious person by nature and not very trusting. I believe Jimin and Jungkook and I don’t think they’ve been lying and pretending for “fanservice” all of these years. I respect them both too much as individuals and artists to believe that they would stoop to such tactics just to generate a little more “interest” and revenue. I’m suspicious of BH. BTS doesn’t need fanservice to get attention; literally all of 2020 and 2021 so far has proven that beyond a doubt. Even if they suddenly made the decision to do fs.. why not go with the most popular ship (taekook) or at least one that isn’t so hotly debated on social media (remove Jimin, Jungkook and Tae from the equation and you still have four members to “play” with who have much less potential to have fs devolve into a toxic crap show all over the internet). Showing us this will do nothing to help BTS as a group or Jimin and Jungkook at this point. In fact.. all it can do is hurt. Hurt BH, hurt the group, and hurt the individual members, heck.. even potentially hurt other BH/HYBE groups. I’ve already seen people on twitter saying they’re “done” spending money on anything BH or BTS puts out because they’re “sick of jikook in their faces and just two of the seven hogging all of the screen time.” Whether or not that “spending freeze” actually materializes into anything noticeable remains to be seen of course.. but the threat is there and always has been. What is the motive? And why now? As much as my “hopeless romantic” heart would like to believe they’re preparing us for Jikook to be “out” .. I seriously don’t think that is ever going to happen. Certainly not now at the height of the group’s fame, with them being given Presidential honors and ambassador status, and with military service still looming over them all. And let’s not forget... Korea is NOT a safe place for a queer couple. Letting us see and know what they did through what was released has the potential to put Jimin and Jungkook (and the other members by proxy) in danger. Sure.. BTS has never been hardline rule followers and have been breaking molds and shattering norms from the start, so “officially” having an openly gay couple in the group wouldn’t be impossible.. just... highly highly improbable. Especially right now... and I’m concerned. I don’t want to sound like the creeps I posted a screenshot of above throwing blame at the company. The boys chose to renew their contracts with the for a reason so we have to trust their judgement as a group... but still, I’m worried and I’m questioning what the purpose was here.

#jikook #drama #kat thoughts #sorry for being a downer...#I'm stressed :(

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ultimatetrashgoblin · 3 years

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My thoughts on Immortal Heart Society

DISCLAIMER: These are my OPINIONS. I do not claim any of this as fact, you are allowed to disagree with me. (Spoilers for Cassius and Alanna season 1)

First impressions for this series could have been better. There are plenty of problems with this series so far that I will address, but for now, let’s focus on the positives.

The writing is beautiful. As an avid reader and writer, one of my biggest pet peeves is lazy and unimaginative writing. IHS had some incredibly written lines, and I was immediately hooked even if I hated the love interests.

(I don’t have many screenshots but here are a few I did take)

The plot is interesting. While the pacing is a bit off at times, I found the concept of a corrupt secret society intriguing, and the mysteries surrounding the father was enough to get me invested.

The Inner Circle is (mostly) likable. I’m a sucker for found family, and my favorite series on this app (EAA, QoT, GIL, etc.) will usually have plenty of group banter, and the Inner Circle is no exception. One of my favorite scenes in Alanna’s route was in Richard’s office when everyone realized Alanna and FMC were exes.

Kiran. No further explanation. Lovestruck let me date her please.

For the most part, IHS seems like a promising series. But of course, when you have plenty of amazing side characters who would make wonderful LIs, you decide to premiere your series with the arrogant asshole and the compulsive liar.

Cassius Tarkhan

I should probably begin by saying I’m usually not a fan of the “rude, snarky, arrogant” LIs and read Cassius’s route solely because I was excited for the new series. So please take what you’re about to read with a grain of salt, since I am probably extremely biased against him.

This is a direct quote from me reading Cassius’s first few episodes: “I want to punch this man in his stupid fucking face.” I said this out loud, which should give you an indication of what’s to come.

As far as first meetings go, Cassius was probably one of the worst. At first it was all “fun banter oh look at the chemistry” until he sees the invitation and becomes the most insufferable pricks I have ever seen. (I’m sorry, but was that supposed to be romantic?! If I were in FMC’s position, I would be terrified!)

Most of the season went by with Cassius being infuriating and not telling FMC anything, and me questioning if I was actually supposed to like the guy I was supposed to be romancing. The villain dude (I don’t care enough about him to try to remember his name) was boring and creepy. I also had a strong desire to punch him in the face, but I’ll settle for him turning to stone.

It wasn’t until the season finale that I actually started to like Cassius. He started to open up more to FMC, he showed vulnerability, and was generally more tolerable. Hopefully we’ll be able to see more of this Cassius in later seasons, because I believe that it might save his route and maybe I won’t want to punch him in the face as badly.

As for the ending, I’ve read the final episode multiple times and I’m still not exactly sure what happened in that final scene. Cassius tells FMC that he won’t let her meet with the Society on her own and then... is he about to kiss her? This is a genuine question I’m asking I honestly couldn’t tell. It seemed like he was going to but it was very unclear to me.

If I was going to rate this season as a whole, I’d give it a 3 out of 10. Hope to see better next season, because he does have the potential to be better, but that wasn’t shown until the end of the season.

Alanna McKenna

At first, I liked Alanna’s route. I was excited about have an LI who was an ex, she was attractive (except for that weird smirk expression what was that???), she was funny, and I’ve already talked about how much I love the writing.

Then the lying started. I’ve had the misfortune of dealing with my family, many of which are narcissistic pathological liars, so I consider myself pretty decent at figuring out patterns in their behavior. And Alanna fits them to a T.

Please note that I am in no way educated on this topic and do not have the authority to state anything as fact. I am making observations based on personal experience dealing with people like this, and I encourage you to view Alanna’s behavior for yourself and come up with your own conclusions.

My first red flag was the emotional manipulation. Near the beginning, this was in the form of flattery. If FMC started asking questions, Alanna would flirt with her, which would cause FMC to either become flustered or flirt back, both outcomes momentarily distracting her from the original topic.

To FMC’s credit, she does notice when Alanna starts deflecting (she mentions recognizing certain behaviors from when they were together), but she backs down. As someone who hates confrontation, I can understand FMC’s reasoning for this. I find trying to communicate certain issues with these people exhausting. It tends to feel like speaking to a broken record, and can become emotionally draining. However, this is the exact outcome that these people want. They hate being called out on their lies, and when pushed further (in my experience), they tend to result to guilt tripping.

The flirting I could ignore. When I first read it, I thought that was just her personality (which is partially true). But then FMC stood her ground more, and Alanna fell apart. She started crying, talking about how much pressure she was under, making up excuses (a prime example of this was her saying that she thought ghosting FMC would make it easier, which I’ll touch on later), and causing FMC to doubt her (valid) reasons for being angry with Alanna.

I feel like it’s also necessary to talk about Alanna interacting with the other society members. FMC was noticeably uncomfortable with how genuine Alanna seemed to be, and I understand the feeling of betrayal of thinking you know a person, only to see them act like a complete stranger at the drop of a hat. The mental turmoil of wondering which version of this person is the real them, and whether your entire relationship was all a lie.

That part was way longer than I expected, so let’s talk about the “villain”. I’m glad that Arabella isn’t the big bad even if she tried to kill FMC, because she seems like such a genuine person and I’m tired of season WOC be villainized in visual novels (I’m not naming names but you know what apps I’m talking about Choices). I hope that FMC and Alanna will be able to help her and her sister, and that Arabella will get a redemption arc in the future and maybe a route.

The cliffhanger was actually sort of unexpected. FMC finally called Alanna out on her bs (GOOD👏FOR👏HER👏) and tried to leave the Society. Lowkey kind of scared to see how they follow this up in season 2, because it seems like they’re ready to murder FMC.

If we ignore the LIs themselves, I did prefer Alanna’s route to Cassius’s. I feel like we got to see more of the other characters, and I thought the pacing was better. But I don’t like either of them. As I’ve said Cassius seems like he’s improving, but Alanna? Nope. I’m staying for the plot and Arabella, but I’m more than willing to drop her route if this pattern continues (especially if I decide it’s too triggering for me, my mental health is more important).

Rating: 2/10

Final thoughts

As I stated previously, while IHS’s initial premiere wasn’t the best, I believe this series has the potential to be good. My main issues are with the pacing, and above all, the LIs (which isn’t good for a visual novel story centered around romancing the LIs).

Overall rating: 3/10

This is my first time doing something like this so any feedback would be very appreciated. Feel free to offer any criticisms, and let me know if I should make a series out of this! (This did take me a while so if I decide to continue doing this it might not be posted until a day or two later)

#immortal heart society #this was way longer than I thought it would be #but I’m proud of it #blaire reviews

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darkedgey · 5 years

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Toy Story 4 - Thoughts and Opinions

So, majority of people seemed to really enjoy the most recent installment to the Toy Story franchise, going as far as to say it is one of the best movies within the series by far. But I am here to say that my unpopular opinion differs from that, and I think it is by far the weakest movie out of the four movies.

Of course, I'm going to talk about spoilers, so, if you would prefer not to be spoiled, it's best you skip this post. You have been warned.

Now, let's start off with one of my biggest pet peeves. The characters of Woody and Buzz Lightyear within this movie.

Within the movie we see Buzz and Woody talking, and Woody is basically trying to explain to Buzz what it means to have a conscience. That little voice inside of you, that tells you to do stuff, that is your conscience.

While this starts off as a pretty amusing bit for the first few times the joke is made, it starts to become a little frustrating, because it gives off the vibe that Buzz's intelligence has been dumbed down EXTREMELY within this movie, just for the sake of comic relief.

No, Buzz has not always been the most intelligent toy, but neither has he been this unintelligent either. He knows how to think on his feet, on his own volition, and this is demonstrated throughout the 2nd and 3rd movie, (like in the 3rd movie when he comes up with a smart plan of how to get out of the playroom to go find Lotso). So, for him to start pressing buttons on his suit, to listen to his recorded voice lines, and treat that as his conscience, it's like it's going back to the whole trope of Toy Story 1, where Buzz doesn't know how to be a toy.

Buzz really isn't THAT dumb you guys...

Now, Woody.

The way Woody acts out in this movie extremely bothers me, and it was something that brought me to not like the ending very much, as his final decision felt extremely out of character for him.

Woody has always stated that his job as a toy "isn't about getting played with, it's about being there for Andy/Bonnie."

Yet in this movie we see a point of Woody getting a tiny bit salty when Bonnie hasn't played with him for about, I think it is said to be three weeks. Three weeks isn't that long of a time span, and even then, I don't think Bonnie would stop playing with Woody forever. Kids go through phases, but she probably would have eventually gone back to Woody.

Throughout the past three movies, Woody always stresses how important it is to be there for your kid. To make them happy. And in the third movie isn't the ending of that kind of supposed to be the fact that they're all supposed to stick together?

For Woody to have this moral and this message for three movies that there is "nothing more important than being loved by a kid", and then to leave Bonnie and all his friends behind to go with his love interest who he literally has not seen for years, it feels a little... Iffy and out of place to me.

How did Woody not lose his purpose when Andy literally stopped playing with him for years, but when Bonnie stops playing with him for like three weeks he decides he has nothing left? Bit odd to me.

"The thing that makes Woody special, is that he'll never give up on you. He'll be there for you, no matter what." This is how Andy describes Woody to be in the end of the third movie. But, heh, guess Woody kinda forgot about that in this final scene. Have fun later Bonnie when you realise your cowboy is missing because Woody decided to run off with his love interest.

Now that those two are out of the way, time to move onto Bo.

Is it me, or in this movie, was she a bit of a jerk to Woody? The past two movies, she's all: oh Woody my cowboy, but in this movie, it's like she completely disregards him?

There is a moment where they come up with a plan as an attempt to save Forky, but Woody derails from the plan and this causes her sheep to get caught by one of the puppets that is helping the main villain. While yes, I can understand her being annoyed, the way she acts towards Woody is so insanely shitty, that it just feels off. She doesn't let him talk or explain himself, and when she is asked whether Woody is a friend, she regards him as an "accessory". That's a bit 0 to 100 from you Bo, isn't it?

It feels like her old personality has just been stripped away to create a very generic, tough girl bitch persona, who can't show empathy, because that's a sign of weakness. Rather than her being her own unique character, she's been turned into a typical, tough girl cliché.

She treats Woody like the villain, when he just wants to save another toy to make his kid happy. Why this makes him a bad guy, I am certainly not sure.

Why does the villain get away with the terrible, awful things that she has done?

While I understand her story is quite sad, in no way do I think her sob story should clear her for what she has done to Woody and his friends.

She went as far as to forcefully try and steal his voice box, hurt his friends, take Forky hostage, and try to use Woody's past to manipulate him into listening to her, and we are supposed to feel sorry for her, why? Because the child who she wants to be liked by, casts her aside.

While it would be nice to have a villain we can sympathize with once in awhile, (as all previous Toy Story movies have had a villain that has nothing but a hateful side to them), it is terrible that she does not get held responsible for any of the terrible things she has done. She is never told she is wrong. She never apologises. So, in the end, she is given what she wanted, without any sort of karma in return.

What?

Majority of the main cast are just cast aside.

Why this happens, I am not quite sure. In Toy Story 3, it was so interesting to see all the toys in the gang actually work together and have quite a good involvement in the movie. In this one however, they're hardly anywhere to be seen.

Because they have gone on a road trip with Bonnie, a lot of the characters like Rex, Ham, Mr and Mrs Potato Head... Etc, they are just left in the RV, for majority of the movie. They don't even have many lines like they do in previous movies, and their screen time is pretty nonexistent. I was surprised to find that even a character like Jessie had hardly any involvement in this movie.

This is pretty disappointing, as I would have expected these characters to have more involvement within the story. But no. They don't.

Forky is a plot device just to make sure Woody runs into Bo.

The way the first few trailers showed this movie, they made it seem like it was mainly going to be about Forky, and how he struggles with the concept of being a toy, who is made out of trash. Similar to how Buzz struggled with thinking he was a space ranger in Toy Story 1. While doing this kind of plot with Forky may have been a bit of a repeat of the first movie, it probably would have been better than what we were given.

Forky is able to be convinced by Woody that he is a toy after a few explanations, and maybe roughly 30 minutes into the movie. That's it. The movie is hardly about Forky at all, and is more about the fact that Woody misses Bo, (which I find so odd, when she was only mentioned once in the third movie. So for him to be THAT desperate to see her, it feels out of place).

They could have explored the idea more of how toys come to life, how they have a conscience. They create this new character who was never originally a toy, but still comes to life. So do they explore this idea, of figuring out how he comes to life? You bet they don't.

I just don't see the point in introducing this new character if he's going to be used for such a reason.

Now, I'm not saying the movie was ALL bad. There were some things I liked about it, (like how good it looked visually, how it was just awesome to see characters like Woody and Buzz on the screen again after all these years...), but there is no way I could say this movie is a masterpiece, or even the best out of the series. Really, they probably should have just left Toy Story alone. Because now to me, it feels a bit weird to watch the end of Toy Story 3, having Andy talk about how important Woody and the gang are to him, only to know Woody will just leave. It leaves it feeling a little sour I think...

But that's just my opinion. If you got this far in listening to me ramble about my thoughts then thank you. And if you were able to enjoy the movie more than me then I am glad for you. :)

#toy story #toy story 4 #opinion #rant #woody #buzz lightyear #bo #bonnie #forky #toy story 2 #toy story 3 #andy #villain #spoilers

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paulisweeabootrash · 5 years

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Followup on Evangelion

This post was supposed to happen quite a while ago, but stuff happened and I forgot to do stuff so here we are. Like I did with my Re:ZERO followup, I just wanted to come back to look more broadly at the rest of the series here instead of getting into individual episodes. I previously talked about eps. 1--8, so this encompasses everything 9--26.

Before we get to the actual review, though, I need to tell you something bout my background, and consequently one of my biggest pet peeves. I’m an engineering psychologist by training, and so although I’m not remotely qualified for the clinical side of things that people always associate with psychologists, I do know a fair amount about normal thought processes. And you know what I am absolutely certain of? Freud was wrong. I don’t understand why we give him so much attention in intro-level psych classes, and I suspect that people often come out of those classes knowing less about psychology than they would if they hadn’t taken the class at all because they’re required to learn about Freud. Freud was influential, sure, but that’s mainly a bug, not a feature. He tried to develop an all-encompassing model of normal development and cognition based entirely on psychiatric patients (maybe not the greatest approach?) and ended up with a body of work so ad hoc handwavy that philosopher Karl Popper used it as an example of something “unfalsifiable” -- that is, one could not even in theory run an experiment which would prove Freud wrong, because there are no specific observable results that Freud’s theories couldn’t produce an explanation/excuse for like some kind of game of research Calvinball. He maybe deserves to be mentioned as one of many “founders” of psychology, but really, unless you’re in a class on the philosophy of science or the early precursors to actually scientific mental healthcare, I cannot understand why we think he’s worth discussing in any detail. Do we start chemistry classes with a week on the ancient Greek elements of earth, water, air, fire, and ether, and test students on the final on the theory of how those elements interact? No? Then why do we start psychology classes with a week on Freud’s theories and test students on the final on defining the id, ego, and superego or the psychosexual stages of development?

Why is this relevant? Because the second half of the series gets frequently and intensely Freudian. Some people draw parallels between Asuka, Rei, and Shinji and the Id, Superego, and Ego, and yeah, okay, I guess so, but I’m willing to accept that as a character dynamic that works well. Then, in the backstory episode about the establishment of NERV, we get exposition about the three-part Magi computer system being different aspects of its creator’s personality, which is pretty hard to not see as another id-superego-ego set. My real issue is with the psychosexual angle. Misato, for example, can’t stay way from her ex Ryoji, but also repeatedly compares him to her father, including immediately after an off-screen (but voice acted) sex scene. There’s an entire out-of-body experience episode where Shinji, temporarily merged with his Eva, directly experiences his own subconscious desires for sex and praise that all boil down to “he misses his mother” (who is filled in for, in a way, by Misato here, as she is the person who brings him back out of the Eva into the world and the first person he encounters when “born”, if you will... and of course in true Freudian fashion, she appears as one of his possible sexual partners in the out-of-body experience). And I just... hate that aspect of the show and need you to know it.

That is not at all to say I haven’t enjoyed and appreciated the rest of Evangelion, though. The angels, varied and bizarre, are one of the best uses of the monster of the week format I’ve seen in any show. Their capabilities are poorly-understood even to those shown to be experts in-universe, and they are a genuine threat to the characters. Serious injuries to pilots and Evas alike are common, and the number of implied or explicit civilian deaths and the amount of damage to Tokyo-3 and NERV HQ escalate dramatically. They are, ludicrous technobabble explanations aside, a truly and horrifyingly alien opponent, whose motive is not even revealed until about halfway through the series, and whose potential impact (ha!) remains hidden to the main characters. Those revelations come up organically in dialogue that establishes how secretive and how deep into mad science NERV truly is. Blah blah spoiler spoiler, suffice it to say that Misato is not well-filled-in on what exactly NERV is doing, and learns some things from Ritsuko and Ryoji that have pretty disturbing implications about the capabilities and direction of their technology. All the while, the “Human Instrumentality Project” looms in the background, mentioned but not explained until the very end when it is put into action.

Our main trio of pilots experience some character development that, again, I find very believable for teenagers thrown into a level of both danger and responsibility that they can’t handle. Asuka’s arrogance and competitiveness turn from quirks into tragic flaws as she recklessly tries to prove herself to be the best Eva pilot, and are also revealed to be part of a more complex and general need to prove herself to be serious and mature. (Not to mention, she is infuriating precisely because, again, she’s realistically written... her mixture of resentment and longing for Shinji and her wildly age inappropriate crush on Ryoji both remind me of people I used to know.) Rei, who has never known anything but NERV’s single-minded dedication to making her a pilot (and who, like Shinji, is a victim of Gendo’s abusive parenting), starts to have the first vaguely normal human relationships of her life. And Shinji tries to run away again, but I promise, it’s different this time.

No, that last one’s not in there as a joke -- I think this is an important turning point. In ep. 18, Gendo remotely takes control of Shinji’s Eva to force it to do something Shinji refuses to do. Shinji is understandably horrified by this, not just because of the violation of his autonomy or something but because of the terrible thing he has now experienced doing (remember, pilots are neurologically connected to their Evas and share their sensations), and in the next episode, in a burst of sheer hatred for not just his father but all of NERV, he quits again. Most of the other characters still treat him as running away due to weakness or indecision, like they did earlier in the series, but he has a reason now. They are falling victim to a “boy who cried wolf”-like problem, reacting to what they have come to expect from Shinji rather than to his actual motive. He is persuaded to return in order to protect his fellow pilots who have become his friends, and then the next episode is that infuriating out-of-body thing, but the fact remains that this shows Shinji has grown across the series, from acting out of fear of and/or familial obligation to Gendo to acting out of a desire for praise (see ep. 12) to feeling like he has an actual role and mission to play.

Meanwhile, it becomes clear that Gendo really is the sinister mastermind he appeared to be. While his colleagues in the shadowy council -- called Seele -- attempt to rein him in, and he theoretically is responsible to a chairman of that organization, the real power is with Gendo and the sheer amount of mad science he can muster under secretive or outright false pretenses. And... wow, there’s not much I can say about that, because there’s not much I can say about episode 19 and beyond without revealing backstory the show wants to keep secret until this late.

What I can say, though, is I think the show fumbles hard on its late episodes, even before the notorious original ending. Up to this point, I thought the show had been improving in general in its ability to tell an interesting story, but it dives back here into the same problem I had early on where it’s difficult to tell how much time has passed within or between episodes, and that creates more of a problem this time around for the basic ability of the audience to empathize with the main characters. Perhaps this explains why there were alternate Director’s Cut versions of these specific episodes? (I don’t know because I haven’t seen them, and they’re apparently only available to English-speakers on the 2004 “Platinum Collection” DVD release, and I am not paying the $120+ that eBay sellers want for them.) I suppose it’s possible that the unsatisfying endings of our main cast’s arcs are intentional, and reflect how pessimistic Anno himself, and his initial description of the show, were, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with a downer ending per se, but episodes 21-24 don’t manage to land them for me. Asuka fails at the only thing that makes her feel valuable, Rei has her tenuous human connections and her means of maintaining them if anything happens to her taken away, Misato realizes maybe NERV has been the bad guys all along, Shinji finally shows agency and makes an important decision for himself but immediately regrets it... all of these clearly should be tragic, but they just didn’t make me feel as sad for those characters as I know I should’ve.

Asuka’s brief and mostly-offscreen abandonment of NERV in the face of her plummeting confidence, the introduction of the Fifth Child, Kaworu, and Ryoji’s sneaking of secret information to Misato all are great plot points that could have had dramatic conclusions, but they all fell flat for me. The episode focusing on Rei at least makes sense in tying together many things implied by previous episodes, and fills in or confirms some things we’ve already seen. For example, it confirms the existence of literal souls in this narrative universe, so now we know to take certain aspects of Shinji’s out-of-body experience -- the loss of sense of self, and the feeling of having recontacted his mother’s soul -- as literal rather than just a storytelling device to display the Freudian subconscious, and the angels’ ability to make direct mental contact with people by this point certainly seems to be literal magic, not some sort of exotic biology.

But episodes 21-24 in particular feel like a rapid-fire dump of partial ideas with the dramatic pauses in all the wrong places -- exemplified by the minute-long still shot as Shinji decides whether to stop the final angel from [spoiler] that changes the scene from tense to absurd. It is, in other words, paced poorly, and this isn’t just bad news for individual episodes, but for the ability of events to matter to the audience. I also expected to have something to say about the gay content in ep. 24 that the professional internet commentators are obsessed with talking about (specifically, talking about how much Netflix screwed it up with a very small translation change), but that aspect of that episode in particular was overshadowed for me because the show just failed to show enough of a relationship building between Shinji and Kaworu for it to mean anything. Even with the “love” to “like” change, I end up coming away with the impression that Shinji has a crush on Kaworu (whether Kaworu feels the same or just doesn’t get how normal people interact), but that doesn’t mean much when their entire series of interactions seems to be over less than a day(?).

And so we come to the two-part finale. With no more angels to interfere, the Human Instrumentality Project begins. We first see our pilots suffering separately in their own despairs and doubts, Shinji and Asuka both suffering from needing to be needed, Rei wanting to die permanently this time but afraid now that it’s finally an option. The Project apparently forces direct contact between everyone’s souls, though, and we see how the exposure of feelings we do not wish to express or even think about can be even worse than isolation. Misato and Asuka both totally break down upon directly encountering Shinji’s soul and involuntarily sharing their most upsetting and embarrassing memories with him.

Or, well, that seems to be what Shinji’s getting from them, anyway. We don’t actually know what they’re experiencing, I guess, since we quickly learn this is only Shinji’s personal experience of Instrumentality. He, and implicitly everyone else, is stuck in his own personal incorporeal world having an internal argument and trying to navigate an entirely new way of existing not constrained by the physical world. The visuals themselves meanwhile regress to sparsely-detailed still images, then to storyboards, then sketches, before suddenly popping back to full animation as Shinji experiences another “possible world”, a frankly hilarious couple of scenes reimagining the show as a school life comedy. Shinji begins to untangle what he thinks of himself from what others think of him, and is instructed by visions of his friends and colleagues that, among other things, conventional associations between concepts are just that -- conventional associations -- and they don’t need to mean to him what he thinks they’re supposed to mean. Then this fascinating mindfuck of an ending, which up to this point I have been genuinely enjoying enough to forgive its Freudian jargon, crashes to a halt with the resolution that he just suddenly accepts himself, abruptly. And then everyone clapped. The end.

I feel let down, because it just sort of feels like Anno wanted very badly to resolve Shinji’s misery, but just whiffed on how to pull it off. “Just stop hating yourself”, even given some sort of amazing supernatural opportunity to do so, is a bit too “have you tried not being a monster?” of a resolution for me. I’m not asking for realistic therapy in my anime, but maybe there was some better way to show him changing his entire outlook? And then I feel let down again because I finally remember that we cut to this abruptly and are totally ignoring what Instrumentality is doing or will do to everyone else, something that is such a wild shift that it is certainly the end of the world as we know it, to zoom in on just one person’s inner conflict in a very surreal way for two entire episodes. So... yeah. That was Evangelion. Yup. It was a solid sci-fi (or... sci-fantasy, I guess) premise that went in interesting directions, although not always executed well. I appreciated it, and I would be interested to see how it has been repeatedly remade by its own creator. Just, uh, not right now.

Come back soon for a third post about Evangelion, which will be a headcanon and/or questionable interpretation that probably nobody wants or needs but which I feel compelled to share.

#weeaboo trash #neon genesis evangelion #anime review

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phdna · 5 years

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*arriving a month late with Starbucks and an uninteresting Endgame review*

This took me forever to write because work has been very intense lately, but I have thoughts I want to write down, for my own future reference when I’m an old woman looking back on my life, if for nothing else.

SPOILERS AHEAD, of course!

From whatever little I’ve been online since Endgame came out, it seems like the internet has been on fire swearing undying love, eternal hate and everything in between. I’m used to that because the MCU fandom has a tendency to be like that, but it feels like this time is more intense, which puzzled me a little bit, as it mostly adheres to the Marvel rules of storytelling, and people tend to not fuss over movies that do that as much as they do over movies that break the established MCU patterns. And then I did some reading and watching and talking and it just hit me that people aren’t reacting to Endgame itself, they’re reacting to the MCU. Both people who think it’s the best movie ever and people who think it’s absolute trash aren’t talking a lot about the movie, they’re talking about how the movie handled the end of this long journey that was the MCU. (Exception: time travel. I’ll get back to it in a moment!) I know I’m having a Captain Obvious moment here, but bear with me for a moment, I’m going somewhere with this.

Here’s the thing: as long as there are more movies coming, we can all overlook things we dislike about the MCU really well – “they’ll just fix it later,” right? Or we can fix it ourselves, even if we don’t write/read fics – the endless theories about what the next movies are gonna be about are in large part wish-fulfillment. Maybe next time Marvel will have more representation of all kinds, maybe next time Marvel will develop their female characters as much as their male counterparts, maybe next time Marvel will focus on this particular relationship that is either underdeveloped or so developed that it should get more attention, maybe next time Marvel will direct a character arc towards where I think it should go. But when the end arrives, we have to face that we aren’t in charge of the MCU and have sometimes wildly different expectations that what the Powers That Be have in mind. We have been emotionally invested in this universe for a long time – we bring the MCU with us in our lives even away from screens – and it sucks a little to realize that, ultimately, we are powerless to impact it. If Endgame was 100% everything you’ve always wanted for every single character and for the universe as whole, great! You’re still gonna mourn the end a little bit, but it’s cool! But if you feel like even one character of the dozens in the cast got the short end of the stick, you’re gonna be upset because don’t we all wish we could sit down with Marvel and teach them Why They Are Wrong About This Character?

I hope I’m not sounding holier-than-thou, like I’m being absolutely cool and adult about the whole thing. Hell no. I’d fight Kevin Feige in a parking lot any time, and have been ready to do that since huh… the MCU started. (Especially because the MCU has taken over the comics and I like 616 more than I like the MCU, so I’ve got beef with Marvel for that.)

So yeah, I have plenty of “What? No! Whose idea was that, that’s terrible!” moments, but I always try to focus on what I enjoyed more than on what I hated. Sometimes it doesn’t work and I get forever bitter, but most of the time, I make an active effort to 1) be grateful that WE EVEN HAVE GOOD SUPERHERO MOVIES AT ALL and 2) watch the movies I’m actually watching instead of watching the movies I think I should watch. For instance, I want to set myself on fire whenever I think about how un-family-like the Avengers are in the MCU, but since being a family isn’t a story the MCU is trying to tell, I consciously try to find something I enjoy about the constant conflicts, such as what they tell us about what each character believes, and how they keep coming back together to do the right thing despite their differences.

Arguably, that’s too much effort, and I get why some people want to be entertained and get upset if the MCU doesn’t deliver that entertainment – I mean, movies are supposed to be fun. But since I was a kid, I’ve always been a fan of imperfect things I have no control over, and I muddle through what I don’t enjoy to get to the shiny bits that give me goosebumps and keep me up at night feeling giddy over how good something was. It’s part of how I react to stuff I like by now. I don’t know, maybe it’s my History degree talking, but I don’t see what the big deal is with saying “Some of it sucks, some of it is brilliant, some of it has to be challenged on the ground of human rights, but overall I’m interested in learning more about it.”

Why the essay on how to engage with the MCU?

Because no matter how I think about it, my primary opinion about Endgame isn’t “I think it’s good” or “I think it’s bad” but just “I’m thankful.” That’s it. I can’t look at Endgame and see it as an isolated movie. I look at it and think “God, I was just out of school when Tony said I am Iron Man and now I’m a teacher and the MCU has always been there helping me keep track of the passage of time all these years.” Here, have a bad analogy: Endgame is when you finish a long travel and there’s nothing home to eat and you have to unpack and you’re exhausted and normal life is depressing and you have a headache and you’re frustrated that holidays are over and you didn’t do everything you wanted…. but that doesn’t make the entire travel a waste of time, does it? It’s actually the opposite. If the travel sucks, getting home is great. And very, very, very few people walk out of Endgame saying “Thank god this MCU saga is over, ugh, I was following it just out of obligation and I’m glad I’m free now” – I mean, there are people like that, and I can see why, but I also never finish things just out of obligation so I can’t relate. Anyway, mostly, people either expected more because the MCU is good enough to do better or thought this was the perfect ending. I’m both. Some things I loved, some things I really wish would be different, but mostly, I’m, like I said, grateful that the journey was so good that no ending would’ve fully satisfied me.

My biggest problem is with time travel. I’ve never liked the trope (not huge on alternate universes, either!), so I knew this would be a pet peeve even before I watched Endgame. I’m also surprised that apparently nobody involved in the movie can agree on how aforementioned time travel works. Fans certainly can’t. And I don’t think it’s a good thing if your audience is confused by a major part of your movie, even if there is a perfectly good explanation and the audience just didn’t get it. (Which isn’t the case, as apparently there isn’t a perfect explanation.) But you know what? I’m hand-waving it. It’s a convoluted plot device but it made a good movie, so like, whatever. Let it work in ABC way unless XYZ needs to happen, in which case, XYZ is how it’s always worked regardless of how ABC was used before. I don’t care. I’m taking what they say happened and saying “Okay, that’s how it happened” and ignoring the hows and the whys. It’s just bad comic book logic on the big screen, I’ve been rolling with this kind of thing since I was a literal child. Having said that, I don’t know what year it is in the MCU, I don’t know how Spider-Man will work, I’m not touching Cap’s time paradox with a ten-foot pole, and I’m not even gonna try to understand any of the timeline charts going around online.

My other major problems have to do with real life more than with the movie. The only original female Avenger dies in the same way the only original female Guardian of the Galaxy died, and neither of them get funerals but we do get the men in their lives suffering over it (which switches the focus from mourning the women to the men’s journeys.) Not sure if the joke was that Thor was clinically depressed or if the joke was that Thor was fat, but haha hilarious. The first openly queer character is omg a nameless cameo talking about someone we never see, isn’t the MCU so progressive? (The bar was so low that Marvel had to dig a ditch so they could somehow get lower than that.) Not loving the idea of “Thanos treated Gamora like shit but the Soul Stone recognizes he loved her” and “Tony’s dad was awful but Tony can Forgive Him” being presented as touching – it’s creepy af and makes me wonder if the MCU will end up saying Alexander Pierce actually cared about Bucky somewhat or something of that sort. Female hero team up: unironically loved it and want it projected on my tombstone (it was one of my favorite part), but it’s a little disturbing that almost none of them had much of a storyline in the movie because they don’t have much of a storyline in the MCU – it really highlights that Marvel has a boy’s club problem still. Now, none of these things make for a bad movie, it just reminds me that Marvel has a long way to go with they want to become inclusive.

Okay, now on to storylines…

Tony. Loved it. I love how the Russos direct Tony (I do have a problem with how M&M write Tony, sometimes, though, and always have) because they love to highlight how soft Tony’s heart is. Part of what makes the character interesting in any universe is that he’s willing to do morally shady stuff when he thinks he’s justified and he tends to think he’s justified because he knows exactly how smart he is, but if you explore this borderline antihero behavior without a deep commitment to reminding the audience that Tony is emotional and gentle, you end up with Reed Richards. 616!Tony will always be sweeter than MCU!Tony (even though 616!Tony’s dad literally tried to beat emotions out of him, while MCU!Tony’s dad more ignored him than actively tried to make him colder, but that’s besides the point) but Tony was so openly loving in this movie, and it helps make his death hit home, why so many people will miss Iron Man and Tony I pity Morgan a lot because she won’t remember her dad, but the only way to feel like the torch has truly been passed to other heroes was to kill Tony – keep him alive in any way and characters are gonna want his advice even if he stops fighting. I want to see how other heroes will protect a world without Iron Man. It’s exciting and brand new and feels a bit like when Fury said in 2008 that Tony isn’t the only superhero.

Steve. Let’s take the time paradox at face value and say everything goes well in every possible timeline and nobody suffers more than they would if he hadn’t done his time-heist thing, because I think that’s what the movie wanted to imply. I’m actually happy he got to be with Peggy. It’s not how I’d write him, mind you, but I always knew MCU Steve was being written as someone who is inherently out of place in the modern world. In the comics, Steve has a culture shock and he mourns people, but he finds a new family in the Avengers and truly becomes part of this century. MCU Steve was never that guy. And that’s okay, it’s a valid take! Not what I’d do, but given his storyline throughout the other movies, I think it’s a very satisfying ending that feels very organic. Saying “screw everything, I’ll do what I think it’s important” has been Steve’s constant in all movies, and it’s nice that he learned that he is important too, not just everybody else. Handing the shield was also very important – no “I think he’d want you to have it” to fuel conspiracy theories in the future: Steve made a good decision and that’s fine. (And I’ll cut a bitch if y’all keep saying “maybe Bucky had the shield before” because Sam can be a first choice fgs!!!)

Professor Hulk is a thing and I liked it more than I thought I would. Hopefully we’ll see more of him. I liked Bruce and I liked the Hulk, but somehow this version of him made me go from “Yeah, they’re nice” to “PLEASE TELL ME HE’LL HAVE A SOLO MOVIE” so good job in redeeming the Hulk franchise, Marvel! It only took you 10 years to get the right tone, but hey, what matters is that you did it!

Thor…….. Um. Hard. I liked his character arc but hated how it was handled. I’m not even a huge fan of Ragnarok because comedy isn’t my thing, but watching Ragnarok, I could see why the movie worked and the humor didn’t come at the expense of being fair to the character. Endgame felt more like the movie itself was bullying him. They’re laughing at his pain, basically, and it’s just not funny. It bothers me for the same reason it bothers me when people say pre-serum Steve should never leave home – just… no. But then, we got Thor and Frigga and I’d sell a kidney for more Frigga, so, it wasn’t completely awful. Just like, 90%?

Natasha!!! I hope everybody who said Scarjo can’t act paid attention to this movie, because she gave Nat a depth that we haven’t seen since CATWS, and even then, because it was Steve’s story, she was sidelined. That’s the Nat I’ve always wanted in the MCU. …and of course, she’s dead. Luckily, we don’t know anything about MCU!Nat, so we can still get prequels even if they don’t want to bring her back to life. It’s a little shady that she dies (why is it that the randomly decided death always seem to be randomly assigned to whatever the minority in a team is, huh?) but I love that she sacrificed herself for the greater good. It’s a heroic end to a woman who thought she was gonna be a villain her entire life. Oh, oh, oh, I have to say this: Natasha leading the remaining Avengers? Godtier. I’m not much of a fic person but I desperately want fics of that off-screen period where she’s being a boss.

Clint. MCU!Clint never did much for me, so I was impressed that I was rooting so much for him during the movie. I don’t know if he’ll just retire completely, but I’m hoping he doesn’t so we can see more of him in the MCU.

Okay, that’s the original Avengers and I’ve already written……. Too much. So I’ll stop – sort of – here.

But first, other random comments.

Fight choreography? On point, 10/10, would let Marvel beat me up to experience these sequences myself

“I am inevitable.” “I am Iron Man.” I cried so much the screen got blurry and I almost missed the snap. Thank you for this exchange.

I love and support Morgan, but I’m dreading the idea that in a near future, the MCU will get Riri’s entire story and give it to Morgan. Please, MCU, I’m counting on you, have Morgan grow up to befriend Riri, not to steal her role.

Nebula needs a solo movie. Nebula needs a whole cinematic universe, actually. What a character.

Speaking of which, GotG 3 is shaping up to be very cool

Sam being the one to say “On your left” in the movie where he becomes Captain America? Poetic cinema. Also! Sam Wilson is Captain America and both the human being who wants children to grow up in a better world and the geek who wants to see flying Cap in me are equally over the moon with joy

Bucky, my darling, the MCU hasn’t known what to make of you since 2011. It’s okay, Sebastian Stan will always do his magic and make you be Bucky even when Marvel doesn’t fully understand anything about your character

Pepper’s character development in 10 years is protagonist-worthy, I can’t believe how she always only has a couple of scenes every movie

Tom Holland should not be allowed to have crying scenes, they make my heart hurt

The movie feels a lot shorter than it is

There’s a lot more I could say, but I’m writing it on Word (tumblr sometimes eat my text posts as I’m writing them) and the wordcount is nearing 3k, so I better shut up. If you’ve read all of this, please treat yourself to a milkshake, you’re awesome. If there’s anything you want to talk about that I didn’t address (or just… you know, about Marvel in general), my ask and my direct messages are always open. I’ll probably take forever to get back to you (I NEED A VACATION ASAP) but I will eventually answer you and I don’t bite, so please go ahead if you’re curious about my not-so-very-interesting thoughts :)

TL;DR: Endgame isn’t my favorite movie (IM, IM3, CATFA, CATWS and BP all come first, sorry) but it’s up there in the “I can watch this movie a thousand times and I won’t get tired of it” list, and I think it does a fairly good job in ending the Infinity Saga, so I’m basically pleased!

#avengers endgame spoilers

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katsbooks · 6 years

Text

Daddy Kink - Greed

Greed x reader

I have a daddy kink, so of course I had to write smut. This is only one part in a six part series. Be prepared for so much smut. So much. Smut for days.

______________________________________________________

(Y/n)’s initial start at the Devil’s Nest was….intense. All she knew was she needed a job, the place was hiring for help, and she was friends with the barkeep. He did warn her that the joint was….not what she was expecting. She had just shrugged it off; after all—she was friends with a chimera. Long story behind how she met him.

She really should have taken it to heart. As it was, the various employees of the Devil’s Nest were all some form of chimera—she was the only human there. It unnerved her a little, with the various forms and eye colors watching her carefully. The cherry on top?

The boss was a homunculus named Greed.

Now, (Y/n) was no alchemist. However, she did have some family that was pretty into it, and she did read through the various books they accumulated. When he explained to her what he was, she knew what he meant. No need for explanation, much to his surprise.

It took some time for the employees to even grow comfortable around her, even longer to trust her and accept her. The boss thought it was great to have her be the only human in the bar. For some godforsaken reason, he liked to call her his kitten.

This bothered her for two reasons—one, it made her feel more like a pet rather than an employee. And two, she had a hard Daddy kink, and the man was hot as sin. No pun intended. She made her first complaint known. Usually loudly when he annoyed her. Her second complaint she intended to carry to the grave.

Pet peeves aside, (Y/n) grew quite comfortable at the bar, and actually enjoyed work. And despite his outward appearance, Greed was nicer than he let on. When she lost her home, he offered her an empty room at the bar. After some initial reservations, she took him up on his offer. Best decision she made, in her opinion. Afterhours was the most fun—she’d often hang out in the bar with the group, or even have a rare chance to just sit and talk with Greed.

He was a smart man, and she liked trading jokes and stories with him. Most of all, she liked watching him. He was a very cocky man, laid-back and casual most of the time. Confidence really was his garment of choice, and he wore it well. God, if she didn’t have so many frustrations being around him though.

It was another quiet night for her; having gotten bored reading in her room, (Y/n) went upstairs to the bar. It was quiet, signaling the employees had either left to do a job or gone to their respective living quarters. The only one still lingering was no one other than Greed. He was sitting quite comfortably on the fine leather couch, a nearly empty glass of whiskey in hand. Made her envious that he could drink like a fish and not even get a buzz. Damned homunculus abilities.

He turned his gaze lazily towards her, a laid-back smile on his lips. “Evenin’ kitten…what brings you back up here?”

(Y/n) shrugged as she meandered over towards the couch, sitting on the end opposite of him. “I got bored of reading, thought I’d come down here to annoy someone. You’re the lucky victim.”

Greed chuckled and finished off his drink. “I’m not sure lucky is the right word.”

“Pfft, you’re always lucky to have me around. I’m a gift,” (Y/n) laughed a little.

“You’re such a strange girl,” he grinned at her.

“Don’t you forget it, Boss-man.”

Greed smirked a little and looked at the empty glass in hand. He pondered for a minute, then held it out to her. “Grab me another whiskey.”

“…seriously?”

“Get to it, kitten.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes at Greed's order, standing and walking over to the bar, glass in hand. Typical. Couldn't have five seconds of fun before he was ordering her to do something or go somewhere. Damn him for being such a sexy boss.

"Make sure it's on the rocks,” he drawled after her.

"Yes, Daddy."

(Y/n) froze mid-step at her slip of the tongue, slowly looking over her shoulder with wide eyes at the homunculus, whom had gone quite still in his seat. He was staring at her with a surprised expression, and she felt her face heat up. So glad they were the only ones in the bar at the moment. So screwed for it being her boss with her.

"...excuse me?" His deep voice rumbled, genuinely intrigued by her Freudian slip.

"Um. Um. I, uh....t-that wasn't....I didn't...uh..." She stammered for something to say, her face flame red now. Her stuttering increased as Greed slowly stood up.

"What did you say, kitten?"

"Um...n-nothing..." she cleared her throat, taking a step back, nervously rolling the whiskey glass between her hands.

"Don't lie to me, you know I hate lies," He drawled, languidly making his way over to her. "Now, what did you say?"

"...I.... I said...." (Y/n) averted her gaze to the floor and cleared her throat again. "...I said, ‘yes, Daddy’."

She gave an indignant squeak when she found herself pinned to the bar counter, Greed leering down at her with a familiar look in his eyes. The whiskey glass had fallen to the floor, amazingly still in one piece after hitting concrete.

"I didn’t think of you as one for that kind of kink, kitten,” he purred, his body almost pressing against hers.

(Y/n) blushed heavily, trying desperately to ignore what his proximity and scent did to her. "There's a lot of things you don't know about me."

"Evidently!" He laughed. "I gotta admit, though. That was pretty fucking sexy hearing you say that to me."

"God, Greed, don't tease me," she groaned, covering her face with a hand. Dear lord, if he’s being serious, don’t let this be a dream. Otherwise, please be just another wet dream. That she can wake up from. And avoid such embarrassment.

"You'd like that, though," he smirked, sharp teeth on display. (Y/n) eyed him, cheeks still red.

"....sadly enough, I would," she admitted.

"Naughty girl."

"I think we've established that. Are you gonna do anything, or can I go up to my room and try to disappear for eternity?"

"Oh, you can go to your room, alright," he purred huskily, leaning close. "But you won't be going alone. What say you, that we have a little fun, hm?"

Oh shit. Oh fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Holy shit, this was happening. This was happening. She paused for a minute, then smirked a little. "I'm down for a little fun.”

She leaned close to his ear to croon, “Let's go play, Daddy."

"Fucking hell, that's hot." Greed growled, before he slung her over his shoulder and carried her downstairs to her room. (Y/n) giggled a little, giving a pinch to his toned ass. He smacked hers in response.

He carried her into her room and tossed her onto the bed, almost carelessly so, reaching behind him to shut and lock her door. (Y/n) bounced on her bed, giggling a little. That was fun--she'll have to have him do that again.

Greed grinned at her, before he shrugged off his furred vest and peeled off the tight sleeveless shirt he wore, tossing them aside and strolling over to her. "Why don't you give me a strip tease, baby doll?" He stopped right by her desk and sat down in the (admittedly very comfortable) desk chair, leaning back lazily with his legs spread in a typical guy style.

"Should I make it a show?" (Y/n) hummed, wiggling off the bed and standing up. Greed grinned wickedly, peering at her with those luminescent amethyst eyes of his.

"Make sure you touch yourself as you do. I want to see you positively wrecked."

"Yes, Daddy."

Greed growled in approval, and (Y/n) set herself to removing her top. The loose-fitting t-shirt was lifted up slowly, revealing her bare stomach, then the edges of her bra. She pulled the top off and tossed it to the side, before running a finger along her pants button. She unsnapped her pants and began to push them down her legs. Much to Greed's pleasure, her panties matched the black silk bra she wore.

(Y/n) found she liked Greed watching her undress. Liked how his eyes roamed over her, his grin of approval and the flickering of lust in his eyes. Judging by the tent in his pants, she'd say he, too, very much liked what he saw. She paused at her bra, lightly fingering along the edge of a cup as she looked at him. He raised a dark brow at her.

"All of it, kitten."

"All?" she inquired innocently.

"Bra and panties as well."

(Y/n) reached behind her to unhook her bra, and slid her hands along her arms to push it off. She lightly trailed her fingers along her breasts, shivering as her nipples hardened from the touch. Greed gave a low rumble, enjoying the view. She slid a hand down along her curves and traced along the edge of her panties, until her finger slipped over her clothed heat. She paused again, looking at him for permission.

"Go ahead. I want you to touch yourself, baby girl," he purred. Oh god, that nickname just about did it for her. She cupped her heat, realizing just how soaked her panties had become in such little time. "How wet are you?"

"Mm...soaked..."

"Naughty girl. You like this, don't you?"

"Oh, yes. So very much,” she groaned.

Greed chuckled roughly and his hand moved to palm the hardness in his leather pants. (Y/n) whimpered a little at the sight, finding it sexy as hell. She rubbed her hand against herself, the panties adding a nice texture.

"Take them off, kitten."

(Y/n) whined a little, but obeyed, hooking her panties with her fingers and shimmying them down. Greed could see, even from his spot, just how wet she was and how damp her panties had gotten. He grinned and motioned for her to approach him. She walked over, hips swaying as she did.

"Such a good girl. Why don't I give you a treat?"

"Yes, please."

"You have to open it though," he looked pointedly at his pants. They were becoming quite uncomfortable now. (Y/n) knelt down between his knees, reaching up to unzip his pants and tug his length free. She wasn't surprised by his lack of underwear. He had definite reason to be so damn cocky, that's for sure. He was larger than average, by a good inch, and thick. It was going to sting if he didn't make sure she was well prepared. Not that she would mind too much; she liked it hard and rough.

"Can I have a taste, Daddy?" she asked sweetly, looking up at him through her lashes.

"Go to town, baby doll."

(Y/n) leaned forward and dragged her tongue along his length, from bottom to tip. Greed gave a low groan of appreciation, his hand moving to thread his fingers through her hair. She sucked lightly at the side, then teased the head with her tongue, before repeating the process.

"Ffffffuck....." His head tilted back and his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed thickly. "You've done this before."

She hummed a little as she sucked on the head of his dick, his precum salty, but strangely tasty. (Y/n) wiggled her hips a little, her core aching from her arousal. She wanted to grind against something desperately. But she knew that patience wielded promises of something better, so if she had to wait, she would wait.

"Goddamn, baby girl....what a talented mouth. You like sucking my cock, don't you?" He growled.

"Mm...yes Daddy..." She nibbled at the thick vein running along the underside of his penis.

"Fuck, that drives me wild. Dirty little kitten." His grip tightened a little in her hair, tugging and making her moan against his length. She finally slipped her mouth around him and sucked hard on him, mindful of her teeth. He cursed vehemently and bucked a little. (Y/n) quickly relaxed her throat to avoid gagging as his dick went down it.

She only sucked a few more times before Greed yanked her up, standing and scooping her up yet again. He stalked the few steps to her bed and flipped her onto it, discarding his pants as she gathered her bearings again. (Y/n) raked her eyes over his form, practically purring at the sight of hard muscle. He noticed her gaze and chuckled darkly, moving over her.

“Like what you see, kitten?” he hummed, his nose brushing against her neck as he breathed in her scent. (Y/n) squirmed a little under him.

“Yes, very much so,” she murmured. He chuckled a little and (Y/n) gasped when she felt sharp teeth against her throat.

“Glad you approve,” he nibbled at her skin. She whined when he cupped a breast, rolling her nipple with his forefinger. “What’s my baby girl want, hm?”

“I want you….” She moaned.

“Hm? Want me to what?” he teased, sliding his hand from her breast down to the apex of her thighs. One long finger stroked her dripping heat and made her mewl in need.

“I want you to fuck me!”

“I’m sorry, I missed that. Mind repeating that?” He lightly bit at her shoulder.

“Nn! Fuck me! Fuck me, Daddy, please!”

“God damn, you’re fucking sexy like this,” Greed growled, gripping her thighs and shoving them apart, opening her cunt to him. (Y/n) whined at the loss of his hand, only to cry out when something thick and hard shoved inside of her. Greed hissed in pleasure, bottoming out into her. “Fuck, you’re so damned tight…”

(Y/n) groaned and twisted her fingers in the bedsheets, “G-Greed, please…please move…”

“I love it when you beg. Makes me want to fuck you senseless.” He thrust into her sharply, and her back bowed. “Heh, you like that? Kinky little doll. You want me to take you hard? Like a beast?”

“Yes! Yes, please!” she whimpered, squirming, wishing he would stop with the slow, languid movement inside her and just take her already.

“Yes what, baby doll?” Greed inquired, giving another sudden and sharp thrust.

“Ah!! Yes, Daddy! Fuck me hard!”

“What a good girl you are. Daddy always rewards good girls,” he crooned, shifted into position and proceeded to buck into her with hard, measured thrusts. They shook her to the core, touching nerve endings she didn’t even think she had. He was so thick, he stretched her past what she was used to, and rubbed every sensitive spot lovingly.

(Y/n) was a moaning, arching mess underneath Greed, her fingers gripping his arms just to feel anchored in the swirl of feelings she was experiencing. The homunculus was relentless, pounding her into the bed, almost certainly leaving bruises from his assault. His nails left marks in her thighs, and occasionally he leaned forward to bite at her, his sharp teeth leaving wounds that sent her ecstasy higher.

“Fuck, you feel so good around my cock…” Greed groaned, leaning over her, not even stuttering in his thrusts. “You like having my dick in you? Huh?”

“Y-yes! Yes, Daddy!” (Y/n) gasped out, bucking her hips up into his.

“Tell me you love it!” he growled in her ear.

“I love your big cock in me! AH! F-FUCK!” (Y/n) cried out when a simple shift of angle had him slamming right into her g-spot, back bowing off the bed. Greed grinned against her neck. “Ah, Daddy! I-I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuuucck!!!”

“Come on baby girl, cum for me,” he snarled, his hand wrapping around her throat and squeezing. The band tightening in her belly snapped and she choked out a scream of release, hands scrambling for purchase as wave after wave of ecstasy rolled through her. “Fuck, you got tighter! Goddamn it, baby girl, you’re gonna make me cum--!!”

Greed gave a deep groan of pure male pleasure, and his hips pressed tight against hers as he climaxed, spilling rope after rope of hot seed inside of her. (Y/n) gasped for air, reminding him he still had a grip on her throat and quickly released it, panting as he came down from his high.

(Y/n) felt boneless and wholly satisfied, catching her breath after such an intense encounter. She absently traced her fingers along his arms and shoulders, marveling in the way his muscles flexed underneath his skin. Greed nuzzled into her neck, making her giggle breathlessly.

“Mm…did I hurt you, kitten?” he asked, his breath pleasantly warm against her skin.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” (Y/n) assured him, a nice buzz from the sex making her quite comfortable. Apparently, he felt the same way, because he had yet to move off her. “That was….by far, the best sex I have ever had.”

Greed laughed good-naturedly and nipped her neck. “You just saying that for my benefit, or you being honest?”

“Dead serious. Hands down, you blew my mind,” she laughed with him a little.

“Way to make a man’s ego grow.”

“Like you need help,” she teased, nipping at his ear. He gave a low, playful growl. “….what exactly does this mean between us?” Her next question was quiet and timid. Greed hummed softly, thinking for a moment.

“Mm….means you’re my girl now, kitten,” he finally said.

“Your girl, huh?” She liked the sound of that. “What’s that entitle?”

“Means….you belong to me,” he murmured, dragging his lips against her jawline. “No other man can touch you. You’re mine to protect, mine to touch, mine to care for. Mine to fuck.”

“So crude,” (Y/n) chuckled softly, wrapping her arms lazily around his neck. “You realize I don’t share either, right?”

“Possessive, hm?”

“Oh, very. First woman I see touch you is getting shanked in the vagina.”

Greed burst out laughing at that, sliding his arms around her and rolling so she settled comfortably on top of him, not minding that he was still inside her. He gave her a genuine smile, something rather rare considering who he was. “That’s fair. I like a girl that takes what’s hers.”

(Y/n) smiled at him, “Indeed.” Then her grin turned naughty and she sat back onto his hips, making him grunt softly from the movement. She tilted her head, the picture of innocence, if it wasn’t for the grin. “I promise I’ll be a good girl for Daddy, though.”

Greed growled and much to her delight, she could feel him hardening inside her. Seemed she found the one thing that could drive him crazy—something she planned to use often. This was going to be a very interesting relationship.

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*blows kisses* I fucking love writing this shit, it’s the most satisfying feeling pumping out lemons.

#fma #fullmetal alchemist #greed #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #smut #lemon #fanfic #fanfiction #fma fanfiction #reader #reader insert #reader x greed

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madamebaggio · 6 years

Photo

(Yes, I am repeating gif sets, but that sentence is actually going to be used in this chapter, so I think it’s fair)

Chapter 3

Lady Beatrice carried most of the conversation alone. The woman wouldn’t stop talking as the coach travelled the way to Londinium.

Sansa was particularly good at nodding and smiling at the appropriate moments, and Beatrice hardly needed help to continue the conversation. Maggie seemed to be adept of the same technique, because she was also merely smiling and nodding along.

Sansa had one adventure in King’s Landing with memories she’d rather not have. She could still smell the stench if she closed her eyes, feel the disgusting air of the city clogging her throat. The rottenness of the people reflected on the city, quite clearly.

After she was attacked by the men while walking on the streets, she vowed never to step out of the Red Keep again; not that she had that much choice upon the matter. There was a part of her that expected Londinium to be somewhat the same. She could picture the dirt on the roads, the hungry people, the disgusting smell all around.

Somehow it was not as terrible as she’d feared. It didn’t stink as much as King’s Landing did, but that must have something to do with the weather. When she’d walked down the city it had been a boiling hot day, this had to worsen the smell somehow.

The roads in Londinium were not paved, and it had rained during the night, so there was mud everywhere. However, Maggie and her aunt knew exactly where they were going, and Sansa hardly saw anything through the window of their coach.

Sansa knew very little about Londinium, since Vortigern hardly ever went there and never allowed Katia to go. Maggie obviously knew it a bit better, and they were taken directly to the places the women wanted to go; most of them dressmakers. Sansa didn’t have any money -everything she had was ‘graciously’ given to her by Vortigern -so she couldn’t order dresses like Maggie and her aunt were doing, but she didn’t mind it at all. She was happy to sit and observe the whole spectacle.

“Aunt, Sansa and I will go ahead and visit Frederick, if you do not mind.” Maggie called suddenly, as Beatrice was discussing yet another dress with the seamstress.

“Oh yes, dear.” Beatrice spoke absent-mindedly, waving her hand. “See you later.”

Sansa said nothing as Maggie passed her arm through the Stark’s. “Frederick makes lovely combs. Maybe we should get you one for your beautiful hair.” She spoke as they left the dressmaker.

“That is very kind of you, lady Maggie, but I do not have money of my own.” Sansa indicated politely.

“Nonsense. It can be my present for you.” Maggie waved the concern away.

That was the moment Sansa became absolutely sure that Maggie had some kind of plan for her. She brought her to an unfamiliar city and was now leaving Beatrice behind, to take Sansa somewhere else. Perhaps it would be a good moment to confront her, but there was still a morbid curiosity inside Sansa to see what she was planning.

They walked for a few minutes, while Maggie indicated places she knew when something actually happened. Although, much later, Sansa was convinced it wasn’t what Maggie had planned, it was just Fate taking care of things.

They were coming down one of the streets when a group of young men started yelling that the Born King would come to save them all from the Fake King.

Sansa had heard whispers of rebellion, but since she was always in Camelot she’d never seen such open defiance against Vortigern. Maggie herself looked perplexed by the display, and that was even before the Blacklegs appeared out of nowhere.

“Oh lord.” Maggie murmured in shock.

It was like it only took a second to start: suddenly the young men were being attacked by the Blacklegs, however the guards were in smaller number and the people around did not stand and let it happen. They charged against the guards with whatever they had in their hands.

It was an uprising, right in front of her eyes.

Suddenly, the memory of that moment, so long ago in King’s Landing, came flooding through Sansa’s head. The men that grabbed her, tried to tear her clothes apart… But this time there would be no Hound to save her.

“We have to go!” She told Maggie urgently.

Maggie nodded and turned to look for an alternative way out, when someone crashed into them. Sansa was separated from Maggie and pushed away to one of the side streets. She looked around, desperately trying to find the other lady again, but when she failed to locate her, she started to move.

She was alone in a place she didn’t know at all. If the people were so angry at the King, a noble woman could easily become a target. She pulled her hood up, trying to hide heir hair; its color drew too much attention.

She had no idea how to go back to the dressmaker, but she started walking purposefully away from the mass of people.

Until someone stepped in her way.

It was a man she’d never seen before: he was tall -taller than her, which had become rarer and rarer lately – his shoulders were wide and his arms were obviously strong, his hair was a dark blond, pushed back. Now his eyes… They were sky blue, but they were freezing and locked on her.

And he was not moving.

“Let me pass.” She spoke with more bravado than she actually felt.

He snorted. “No. Should you really be out of your cage?”

He knew who she was. And he had some nerve. “I’m not in a cage.” She hissed, even as Cersei’s voice droned in her ear: “little dove, little dove…”

He arched a brow at her, then crossed his arms over his chest. “No? Where do you figure you are?”

“None of your business.”

His look made it quite clear he was vastly unimpressed by her. “I hope you aren’t trying to run. You won’t get very far.”

“Where would I run to?” She snapped before she could stop herself. Why was she arguing with this idiot? “I am alone here, just as I was alone in King’s Landing.” She finished, more to herself than to him, because she didn’t owe him an explanation.

The stranger gave her a flat look, before taking a step in her direction. Sansa reflexively took a step back.

“If he knows you’re here, he’ll rip the houses apart looking for you, princess.” His voice might not be raised, but the fury in it was clear. “Go back to your golden cage and leave us, small folk, in peace.” He paused. “Pretty bird.” He added as an afterthought, like he was really trying to get to her.

Sansa took a deep breath. She couldn’t antagonize this stranger; she was alone in Londinium, without any idea how to get back to wherever Maggie or her aunt were. She should be quiet.

However, when he turned his back to her, dismissing her so easily, something snapped inside her, just like the night before. She was tired of being dismissed.

“Do not call me a pretty bird.” She spoke, her voice firm. “You know nothing of me.”

He turned back to her, his expression somewhere shocked and peeved. “I know enough.” He replied, coming closer again. “You’ve been living inside the castle, the favorite pet of the King.”

“Who do you think you are?” She demanded. “You’re nobody to tell me who…”

He stepped up to her, less than a palm of distance between them. “Who do you think I am?” He spoke, his voice dangerously soft.

Sansa wasn’t sure why it happened, but suddenly she understood exactly who she was.

“The Pretender…” She murmured, eyes going round.

He was the one fighting against Vortigern, giving hope to the people. He was the one they called the Born King.

He snorted. “Careful who you call ‘Pretender’, princess. I have a sword that claims I am the King.”

“Oh yes.” She spoke without thinking much about it. “And yesterday a fish told me I shall be the Queen.”

He made a show of looking her up and down. “I wouldn’t kick you out of the bed.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I have no choice in my life; I was given to Vortigern as a present. I live under his roof, but I will not be involved in any of this.”

“You won’t have a choice, sweetheart. Soon everybody will have to pick a side.” He pointed out.

“I’m not even from here!” She protested. “I didn’t ask to be dragged here. Why do I have to…” She stopped and pressed her lips together. “Why are you here?”

It finally seemed to click in her head: he’d been looking for her. Somehow, he found her in the middle of Londinium, stepped in front of her. Somehow, he knew exactly who she was, even though she was sure she’d never seen him before and she hardly ever left Camelot.

She took a step back, a bit scared. “What do you want with me?”

“Calm down.” He asked.

“You knew who I was. You were looking for me!” She accused.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Red.” He snorted, but it didn’t sound honest.

“Vortigern won’t care if you hurt me.” She hurried to say. “I’m nothing to him!”

“I’m not here to hurt you.” He rebutted quickly.

“And I should just take your word?” She asked, incredulity bleeding into her voice.

He didn’t reply, because he obviously knew how ridiculous it was to ask her to simply trust him like that.

He took a step back, then took a deep breath. “I am not here to hurt you.” He repeated firmly. “But if you think you can hide forever inside the castle and not be part of this, just because you are not from here, you’re mad.”

“So I should be on your side?” She threw at him.

“From what I’ve heard… You don’t have much luck with Kings you’re given to.” He started backing way, his eyes on her. “You might want to make your own choices this time around.”

Despite this whole situation, Sansa couldn’t hold in the derision in her voice. “And you are supposed to be my best choice?”

He was already farther from here, still walking backwards, his eyes still on her. “I’m not the one keeping you on a cage, am I, little bird?”

Before she could retort he turned and disappeared in the middle of the crowd.

“The nerve of that…”

“SANSA!”

She turned, seeing Lady Maggie breathless coming in her direction. She was between two of the guards that had accompanied them on this outing.

“Lady Maggie.” Sansa sighed in relief. “I’m glad to see you’re fine.”

“I’m more worried about you.” Maggie seemed genuine at least. “You know nothing of the city… Are you fine?”

Sansa nodded. “Yes. Do not worry.”

“Did anyone bother you?” Maggie pressed.

“No one important.”

XxX

Arthur should’ve known that this was a waste of his time. He had no idea what Maggie had seen in that girl, but she was no fighter. She would not take sides, too busy protecting her own hide.

Exactly like he’d been doing not so long ago.

Arthur had to give it to her: she stood up to him far longer than he’d expected. She was young, far too young to be of any use. He didn’t know what Maggie had in her head.

“So… What happened to the lass?” Back Lack asked as Arthur went back to the place they were hiding.

“She’s no use.” He declared.

“Why do you say that?” Bedivere asked curious.

“Because I talked to her.” Arthur told him dryly.

Bill snorted. “Well, that explains it. Even if she was somehow inclined towards our cause, I’m sure your charm convinced her of the opposite.”

Arthur gave the older man an unimpressed look.

They could say whatever they wanted. Lady Stark was not his problem.

But those blue eyes… They came back to haunt him later on.

XxX

Sansa was brushing her hair, the meeting from earlier still clear in her mind.

She was not as naïve as the so called Born King seemed to think she was. She knew Vortigern cared nothing for her, and was only using her for something, even though she still didn’t know what for. She didn’t think he’d protect her if something were to happen, especially a war.

But what should she do? Jump in the arms of the first man that came to her, claiming to be the True King? Should she swoon while she was at it?

The thing was… She was pretty sure that, if she were younger, she might have done exactly that. She’d been so stupid once, that the tale of a King coming from nowhere and rescuing her would be like a dream come true.

She was happy that stupid Sansa didn’t exist anymore.

“Come in.” She called after hearing the knock on her door.

“Lady Sansa.” It was Maggie. “I just came to see if you are fine.”

After Maggie found her, they went to look for Beatrice and immediately went back to the house. Sansa had no idea what had happened to people in the city, if more guards had arrived.

“I am. Thank you for asking.”

Maggie closed the door behind herself. “Did you… Did you see anyone in the city?”

“Besides the one who claims to be the Born King, you mean?” Sansa asked, putting her brush down.

Maggie was frozen by the door. Sansa gave her one of her most polite smiles. “No, I did not. Was that your intention?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You wanted me to meet him, didn’t you?”

“Lady Sansa, I have no idea…”

Sansa shook her head. “It is fine, lady Maggie. Forgive me. I am just a stupid girl saying stupid things. If you do not mind, I am very tired.”

“Of course.” Maggie recovered quickly, going for the door. “I will see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, you will.”

Sansa watched as the woman closed the door behind herself. Now, that… That was interesting.

***

(Notes: Bad news, guys... My life is about to be turned upside down. I quit my job, but I still have to stick around for a month to help until they find a replacement. However, I still have to start working on the new place, so for a month I will have two jobs. That means I am so fucked right now. So... It’s very unlikely I will manage to write anything for the next month... But life is life. I hope you guys don’t give up on me!)

#sansa stark #game of thrones #king arthur #arthur pendragon #king arthur legend of the sword #crackship #crossover #sansa x arthur #fanfic #chapter 3 #madame baggio #gifs not mine #i wont believe in songs

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verdantsymmetry · 5 years

Text

Zsigs

So, MIT has this IM system called Zephyr that I still unaccountably find useful. Clients generally let you display a signature with your message that might be some static bit of text or might be the result of a script if you’re more into that. I have a script that selects from a bunch of sayings, jokes, etc that I’ve collected over the years. And which I now want to inflict on you, Tumblr.

Please forgive the puns and don’t take these too seriously.

Unfortunately the universe doesn't agree with me. We'll see which one of us is still standing when this is over. *Reality is what you can get away with.

The truth is whatever you can't escape.

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I remembered who was telling me this.

I feel more like I do now than I did a while ago.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Don't ascribe to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.

You can't know that this sentence is true.

Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.

The views expressed here do not necessarily represent the unanimous views of all parts of my mind.

Don't immanentize the eschaton!

Because anti-induction has never worked in the past I can be sure it will now.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil.

Put the romance back in necromancery.

Everyone generalizes from one example. Or at least I do.

You don't understand society until you can build one out of nothing but signals and incentives.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however unlikely, is probably an artifact of an incomplete hypothesis space.

I, for one, like roman numerals.

Debugging is like being a detective in a crime novel where you're also the murderer.

I don't have pet peeves. But I do feed a number of feral peeves that live in the neighborhood.

Napoleon Bonaparte was a master strategist who achieved immortality by living on in the form of delusional people all over the future

"Roses" is how / you start poems of this meter / but poems about poems / are more meta and neater.

I know not with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with adorable cockroach-sized swords.

When did the Japanese start eating eggs? A long たまご!

Usually the explanation for why a thing exists is not the reason it started existing, but rather the reason it continues existing.

The adjective "indescribable" is, by definition, never correct.

Failure isn't an option. It's mandatory.

Start every day like you woke up surrounded by a circle of wizards who perform a summoning spell once a century

Omniscience makes reasoning about counterfactuals harder.

Any machine is a smoke machine when you use it wrong enough.

I believe that inside every tool is a hammer

I said raise the barn, not raze it!

Remember with increasing sample size, your averages become more reliable - The Ns justify the means.

New EA cause area: Banning everything else Thomas Midgley invented, just to be safe.

Your eyes don't see, you do.

My favorite three bean soup is vanilla soy latte.

You will forget that you ever read this zsig.

Gaze not into the abyss, lest you become recognized as an abyss domain expert, and they expect you keep gazing into the damn thing.

Made in China? Silly plate, you are made of China.

Give a man a fire and hell be warm for a day. teach a man to fire and youll get your liver pecked out by an eagle every day for the rest of eternity

When trying to understand entropy, remember that sitting still with your eyes closed will make you ever more lost - not within the universe, but between universes.

Nothing in life is as important as you think it is, while you are thinking about it.

Blessed are those who can gaze into a drop of water and see all the worlds and be like who cares that's still zero information content.

The First Rule of Robot Fight Club is you DO NOT TALK about Robot Fight Club, or, through inaction, allow Robot Fight Club to be talked about.

Correlation correlates with causation because causation causes correlations.

Absence of evidence is evidence of absence.

Market exchange is a pathetically inadequate substitute for love, but it scales better.

Computer science is like omnipotence without omniscience.

Your existence is not impossible. But it's also not very likely.

Finally, a study that backs up everything I've always said about confirmation bias!

Nobody is smart enough to be wrong all the time.

Everything happens for a reason. The reason is a chaotic intersection of chance and the laws of physics.

Essentially, all models are wrong, but some are useful.

We think much less than we think we think.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Because ten billion years' time is so fragile, so ephemeral, it arouses such a bittersweet, almost heartbreaking fondness.

Language will evolve irregardless of barriers.

A library of all possible books contains less information than a single volume.

Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

Do unto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you, to correct for subjective error.

Though through rough boughs

I'm just sayin', everyone that confuses correlation with causation eventually ends up dead.

I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, until we've landed on the moon, of preventing this decade from ending.

If you die in a documentary, you die in real life.

My intuition pump won't turn off and now my basement is full of scary ideas.

One Weird Trick to hijack the inner voice of hundreds of minds by posting this message

Most supposed conspiracy "theorists" don't come up with their own theories; they are conspiracy *enthusiasts* at best.

Have you tried throwing money at the problem? Yes? Well have you tried throwing it harder, using deadlier forms of currency?

Have you tried reducing the problem to a harder one which no one will expect you to solve?

Have you tried raising the temperature until you have enough thermal energy to overcome the problem’s energy barrier?

Keep your identities small, so you can fit more of them in your head.

You are a useful abstraction.

I Went To The Platonic Realm And All I Got Was THE Lousy T-Shirt.

A society where ubiquitous 3D printing makes the delivery of physical objects obsolete. A post-post society.

Appeals to Purity Intuitions Considered Toxic

Yog Sothoth is the golden key, the accursed result of the NSA's demands. Do not call up what you can't put down, cried the opsec researchers.

Known thy enemy and know theyself. You can combine these tasks and so double efficiency using the obvious method.

Consciousness is the weakest form of telepathy, where you're limited to reading your own mind.

A good pun is its own reword.

A new drug prevents the brain from speculating. You'll never guess what happens when you take it.

Philosophy is mainly useful in inoculating you against other philosophy. Else you'll be vulnerable to the first coherent philosophy you hear.

#humor #puns

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the-suriel · 7 years

Note

which parts of acowar did you dislike/didn't sit so well for you? i don't want you to get hate or anything but like what did you wish sjm didn't do? x

Hey Nonnie!

Ok. This turned out to be a REALLY LONG list so I’m putting it all under a cut, that way people don’t feel obligated to read this if they are tired of ACOWAR hate.

If you are one of those people that are really tired of ACOWAR hate it’s totally ok to just scroll down, you do not have to read this.

Here we go…

1) Mor.

I feel that she was so mistreated in this book. Even in the beginning when Rhys pulls the whole Eris scheme on her and letting her in the dark??? Why? I don’t understand. Why couldn’t he just sit her down before the meeting, explain the situation and ask for her input? Or at least let her know what is happening and give her the choice to stay if she is not ready to face what is possibly the two people that hurt her the most in her life.

It felt so OOC for Rhys to do that to her. SJMaas is always reinforcing how good he is for always giving everyone a choice, but with Mor that didn’t happen at all. Not only was it cruel to put he in that situation, but as his third, she should have known. She is the Queen of Hewn city she is supposed to know these things before they come into action.

I hated so much the way she came out. Don’t get me wrong here, I was so so happy to see that we finally get LGBTQA representation, but it was executed so poorly. I mostly agree with what a lot of people have been saying, it felt like a last minute decision on Maas’ part.

I was also really sad that with the way it was written it almost makes it seem cruel that she didn’t tell Azriel about it for all those years. I just really really hate that? I am not supposed to blame someone for not coming out, everyone takes their own time until they feel comfortable enough to take that step. I feel like it was not ok for SJMaas to write her into that situation.

And plus it was just kind of unrealistic?? I remember someone on Tumblr pointing this out, now I can’t remember who, but are you really trying to tell me that Mor kept this a secret from her cousin the deamati and her friend the shadowsinger and spymaster for 500 years!!?? They should have found out by this point honestly.

2) The Resurrection

This is more of a personal pet peeve than anything. Maybe this is because I watched TVD for so long, but I really, really hate when people come pack to life like that. It’s fine when it’s someone that was never introduced to the story and was believe to be dead, or when we don’t know for sure if they are dead but when someone drops dead on the ground I expect them to stay dead.

I could swallow it when it was Feyre back in ACOTAR, I cringed when Jurian was resurrected but I draw the line at Rhys. It felt like cheating, and that’s not something I want to feel a few chapters before the book ends.

3) Tamlin

Tamlin was a wild ride. His character shifted so much throughout the book, and I understand a fair amount of that is due to the fact that we read the story through Feyre’s point of view. I really wanted to see some closure on the Tamlin plot line. He was such an essential part of Feyre’s arc, and he kind of got brushed to the side in most of ACOWAR. I really wanted to see a scene when they sit down and talk about what happened, I wanted him to recognize his mistakes and perhaps, I dunno apologize. I felt like Feyre still needed to say a few things to him to truly move on (same goes for him honestly). Obviously she has no obligation to have a conversation with her abuser if she does not feel like she is ready, but I think that it would have been a good way to complete her arc.

4) Lucien

Why did she get rid of him???

I started resenting Lucien a bit after the end of ACOMAF but I was so sold on him again by the start of the book.

Again Why did she get rid of him??

He had so much to add. why???? It felt like a cop out for not having to deal with elucien in this book.

His absence made me sad :’(

5) The Threads

I know, I know, this is just the end of feysand’s arc and there are going to be more books, but the number of unanswered questions I have is very annoying. I have more questions now that I finished the book than when I first started.

There are going to be more books but that does not change the fact that this is supposed to be the closing book in a trilogy. She should have ended a few more threads instead of leaving it all so open. ACOWAR almost felt like a week second-book-in-a-series. it felt more like a bridge book than the resolution to this section of the story.

6) Papa Archeron

Although I did appreciate that he died and stayed dead, I wish SJMaas had explored his relationship with his daughters a bit more. I wanted to see his reaction to them being Fae, or the inner circle’s reaction to meeting the man that gave up on their High Lady when she was a child. It would have been such good character conflict. I also felt like the Archeron sisters deserved more closure than just a last minute funeral.

7) Mor & Nesta

Why was Mor so mean to Nesta???

That felt so OOC of her. Can she not see that Nesta is going through some shit right now? They all expect Nesta to be very cruel and cold (which I would even argue is just a front [Feyre had literally told Cassian before that she thinks is a front but anyway not the point]) but I really didn’t expect Mor, a 500-year-old woman who has also seen some shit in her lifetime, to act that way to someone. She could have really used Mor’s help. Mor has no obligation to be there for Nesta when she is very rude towards most of them, but it would have been nice to see that friendship blossom.

8) Explanations

This point kind of relates to the previous point on threads. There was so, soo, so much thrown into this book, and not much of it was explained. People have already mentioned the lack in world building in the magic department, but even the subplots were lacking in context and explanation.

The continent territories that were briefly mentioned were just that, briefly mentioned. I don’t really know what the king’s Ravens were all about (why were they called the Ravens? why did they look like all black and white? was it coincidence? was it just for the aesthetics?) The cauldron was also not developed enough for something that is so significant in the story, we still don’t know what power Mor holds, (The power of truth?? What does hat even mean?) and apparently Azriel can turn into shadows, I think, but like how ???? how did he become a shadowsinger? do the shadows speak to him? And Elain being a seer? Was that explained? How do the death gods work? I thought they couldn’t die. I mean obviously not.

SO MANY QUESTIONS

9) Moriel

If you were a Moriel shipper you are put in a position where you either resent Mor’s sexuality (WHICH IS NOT HOW PEOPLE SHOULD FEEL, SPECIALLY FOR A BOOK THAT IS SOLD AS YA, A GENRE THAT TARGETS A YOUNG AUDIENCE) or you feel like your feelings toward the ship are/were invalid.

Moriel, to many of us, was written with the intention of being end game. I don’t think it was even a question for most people. It was almost heartless to give so much hope for a ship and then completely squash it, I don’t think that it was fair to the readers. She should have hinted at it a little more or just written this situation differently so that this didn’t happen. It was sad to see that something that was supposed to be such a positive representation, this strong independent woman that is also a member of the LGBTQ community, get caught in the middle of this. Sarah should have written this better.

10) Feysand

It was nice to see feysand happy but I wish we still got some development in their friendship. They have only known each other for a year, they have only really gotten to know each other 6 months (ish), I felt like their relationship could have been further explored maybe bringing in new sides to their personality.

11) Grammar and Diction

Ehhh well, there is definitely some improvement to be done in this section. It wasn’t horrible and it didn’t damage my understanding of the plot or the character but I have to agree with what people are saying, this book was severely under-edited.

The most prominent things that drove me insane were the sentence fragments, the use of –dashes– and …ellipses… in almost every page. Oh and the diction. The diction especially though. The one that stuck out to me was how many times she use ‘the former and the latter’ in her sentences. It is a good way to describe thoughts or action, but not when it is used every 3 chapters (I have the ebook, I checked). In my version of the book there is even a quotation mark missing (page 461 I believe). I understand that mistakes happen especially when writing a book this size, but this is a sequel to a best-selling series, and she probably has a whole team of people helping her with things like this.

Again, it just felt lazy. For a best-selling author, she should not have mistakes like these in her work. It became such distraction that I am now writing about it.

Anyway, this got a bit long but here are my 2 cents. I hope I didn’t offend or insult anyone, and if I did that was never my intention.

#acowar spoilers #anti acowar #writing this was so therapeutic honesty #I literally feel lighter #ask #anon

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ronijashworth · 5 years

Text

What is a Ranking Factor?

I decided to write this for a couple of reasons. One is that I’ve seen a lot of potentially misleading Tweets on the subject recently (naming no names!), and the other is that it’s related to another pet peeve of mine, about ranking factor studies.

What is a ranking factor?

A ranking factor is a variable that a search engine uses to decide the best ordering of relevant, indexed results returned for a search query.

Note that I’ve said the decision is between relevant, indexed pages - a good illustration of this distinction is the often absurdly high number shown beneath your query when you perform a Google search, such as the 643 million “potatoes”-related pages shown here:

Most of these pages are not particularly relevant, but this is the set that ranking factors are seeking to order. Some of the factors used to establish what is relevant to include in this list are also ranking factors (for example, having links with the anchor text “potatoes”), but they are not the same thing.

Perhaps the most famous ranking factor is Google’s PageRank - invented at a time when, proportionately, a great deal more web browsing was done by clicking links from popular pages, the role of PageRank was to approximate the popularity, and therefore, by extension, authority, of a page on the internet.

How are ranking factors combined?

A search algorithm might take ranking factors like PageRank and weight, sum, or multiply them in any way seen fit. The objective is to combine them in a way that achieves the “best” results - for example, presenting the results that users are most likely to click on at the top. According to this CNBC interview from late 2017, metrics Google might optimise for include time to SERP interaction and rate of bouncing back to search results.

Amusingly, probably the best insight we’ve had into how Google combines ranking factors came from a question about featured snippets, asked to Google’s Gary Illyes by Jason Barnard earlier this year. I say amusingly because Gary seemingly had no need to give such an in depth answer to this question, but the model he describes is fascinating to explore and extend upon - you can read more about it in Jason’s article here.

What ranking factors are there?

We don’t know! In fact, we don’t even know how many there are. Probably a great many. (Although, not everything that influences rankings is a ranking factor - more on that below!)

Google occasionally explicitly confirms a ranking factor (like HTTPS, or page loading times), but often this is as much as anything to push the SEO industry to change the internet in a direction they’d like.

It’s in their interest to keep actual ranking factors and their relative importance very close to their chest, as their algorithm is part of their advantage over their competitors.

Is user experience a ranking factor?

Not exactly, no - “user experience” is not a metric. However, we do know (for example, from that CNBC article referenced above) that many of the things Google is looking for correlate with a good user experience. We also know that Google highlights things like slow loading times or excessively small font on mobile devices as SEO issues, which suggests an interest in this kind of factor.

There’s an ongoing debate about whether Google tries to measure this directly (for example, by looking at the click through rate of specific search results, compared to what might be expected, and adjusting their ranking on the fly), or whether they merely adjust their algorithm to look for things that correlate with user experience improvements. Many real world experiments suggest the former, but Google’s official line is the latter.

It’s in their interest to keep actual ranking factors and their relative importance very close to their chest, as their algorithm is part of their advantage over their competitors.

Misconceptions

Misconception 1: All metrics that correlate with rankings are ranking factors

This misconception is probably in some small part my fault - and also the fault of others who, like me, have published so called ranking factor studies. These are actually correlation studies - we can look at what qualities are typically held by well-ranking pages, but this does not mean that those qualities are necessarily ranking factors. Facebook Likes, for example, correlate well with Google rankings. There are a few possible explanations for this:

Sheer coincidence (unlikely - that’s the point of statistical significance thresholds - but possible)

Pages that rank well tend to be seen a lot, therefore end up getting a lot of Facebook Likes (i.e. the causation is in the opposite direction to Facebook Likes being a ranking factor)

Pages on popular websites receive both many Facebook Likes and strong Google rankings (i.e. there is something else that causes both, rather than one influencing the other)

Google assesses the number of Facebook Likes that results have, and takes this into account when ordering them in search results (i.e. Facebook Likes are a ranking factor).

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Misconception 2: A ranking factors is anything that causally affects rankings

If you engage in link building, you are engaging in an activity that is designed to influence a ranking factor - something you believe Google will consider directly in their algorithm. However, there are lots of things you can do to make your site rank better, but which are not in themselves designed to influence ranking factors.

Perhaps my ultimate claim to fame is that I used to work at the UK’s busiest Little Chef (a now-defunct chain of roadside grills), where I was a cook. If my boss had sent me on a training course, this may have resulted in a few things that could go on to improve the business’s rankings in Google Search, such as:

Glowing coverage in local press, due to the restaurant becoming known locally for its excellent food

Bloggers mentioning and linking to the Little Chef website, having been pleasantly surprised at their experience

People clicking on the site even when it’s position 8 in the search results, because they know and love the brand, having had so many wonderful meals there

Sadly, my boss did not send me on a training course, and Little Chef eventually died, their premises being ignominiously absorbed into the empire of Starbucks. However, that does not mean that “kitchen staff competence level” is a ranking factor. It is not something that Google is attempting to directly measure and include as a variable in its algorithm, therefore it is not a ranking factor.

However, if you are running an ailing roadside grill, and you wish to improve your rankings, you could try having competent kitchen staff. The causal link is there, even if the ranking factors are involved only indirectly.

Misconception 3: Ranking factors are dead / don’t exist

I’d be the first to say that ranking factors may not be a helpful for SEOs anymore. In fact, I’ve written about it on this very blog.

Because ranking factors are so many and so unknowable, it’s often better to aim for what Google is optimising for, therefore avoiding the need for any Kremlinology.

However, that does not mean that ranking factors are not a thing - they are still a crucial part of how search engines work at a very basic level and understanding the theory gives you a solid foundation to your knowledge.

Misconception 4: Bounce rate, time on page, and/or conversion rate are ranking factors

These are metrics in analytics, which means Google does not have access to them - even if you use Google Analytics. Furthermore, they’re easily manipulated, and often don’t obviously correlate with good outcomes.

For example, Google might be interested in the rate at which I return to search results after clicking on your site - this would indicate I was unhappy with that result. However, they can get this information directly from their own analytics on search results, and the bounce rate in your analytics could be misleading - if I read your page, get the answer I want, and move on in my life, that’s a good search result from Google’s perspective, but probably a bounce in your analytics.

Discussion

It’s theoretically possible that blog comments are a ranking factor, so please let me know your thoughts in the space below :)

from Digital Marketing https://www.distilled.net/resources/what-is-a-ranking-factor/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

#digital marketing

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heavenwheel · 5 years