#(I still need time to properly process everything and confront it directly but . in time. hopefully things will be alright)

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

I've been wanting to share my merch haul from the recent PokeCon that happened in my country last month - so I thought to start off with these adorable frosted charms I got from Plupip !!! 💖💕✨

I fell in looove with these silly guys on sight - you actually get the choice to either pick out ones to buy individually, or get two different ones at random through a little gacha toy she has stationed at her booth. That's how I got a majority of these - with the most recent ones being my own online orders, hehe :} 💫

She has an online shop with the whole 60+ (and counting!) catalogue of Pokémon charms along with other merch like plushies, shirts, and pins, so do check her out when y'all can! 🥺💖💖💖

[farmerettpoulsen]

Online marketing for Lawyers : Advice That Counts

Lawyers face the same challenges any enterprise does. In purchase to get brand-new business they need to market their services, my partner and i. e., advertise. And lawyers cope with typically the same marketing and even advertising challenge each business does -- how to beat the competition. Plus lawyers have to suppose that any World wide web or non-Internet advertising or advertising they do may nicely produce little or even no results for that amount of time and money they will spend -- no matter of what a good outside marketing or even advertising advisor may well say to the particular contrary. Prior in order to the Internet the particular main non-Internet marketing option or marketing choice for any lawyer was in order to advertise in the yellowish pages. To this specific day printed yellow pages contain lots of colorful, one web page display ads of which feature lawyers supplying their services, in addition to lawyers pay a lot for these adverts. How effective these kinds of ads are is usually anyone's guess -- it's hard for your colored, one particular page display advertisement to stand out any time you have 20 other lawyers performing the exact same issue! The yellow pages firms, however, still showcase their marketing and advertising viewpoint that "bigger will be always better" and even "everything we promote is an chance, " so they will often present a new lawyer with the non-Internet marketing and even advertising solution that will cost plenty but often produces little. This line of thinking, along with the use of print yellow pages inside general, has eliminated the pattern of the old age in a very expanded pace. The orange pages in print type had their heyday for many decades, but the inhabitants now goes to the Internet to the information they seek out, so most print out directories are accumulating dust. A attorney who advertises throughout the print yellow pages may properly get calls, but they'll most likely be from sellers using the yellow pages as an affordable supply of leads. Typically the major paid research providers (pay per click search engines) tend to offer you lawyers Internet marketing and advertising and advertising solutions in a fashion similar to the particular way the orange pages do with their print directories. "Bigger is always far better, " so instead than realistically discuss with an attorney a pay for each click Internet marketing and advertising campaign that makes economic sense and creates a decent ROI, the pay per mouse click providers will notify the lawyer to be able to go for as numerous top listing keywords and phrases (the most expensive) as their price range will permit plus bid as substantial as they could. The lawyer might go broke in the process, yet at least they will get exposure! Numerous lawyers get directly into pay per click on being a quick method to get potential clients but quickly get out of a month after after spending lots of money regarding Internet marketing and even advertising results that will produce nothing nevertheless expense. While shell out per click Internet marketing and advertising is the operating favorite of Internet marketing advertisers worldwide, ppc advertising regarding a lawyer is usually an incredibly expensive proposition regarding what they find. How much a lawyer is willing to "pay for a lead" takes on a whole new meaning using pay per click on. Additional info|Additional reading per press for many legal professional related keywords, electronic. g., "personal injury lawyer, " "criminal security lawyer, " may range from $5. 00 to $70. 00 per click based on the industry, and when the particular typical lawyer's alteration rate (the range of clicks it will require to generate some sort of lead) of 1 to two percent is usually factored in, typically the lawyer can locate themselves paying up wards of $500. 00 to $7, 500. 00 per prospect, and a lead is not really a client. Part of the problem lawyers confront if they work together with pay per mouse click (and this means straight into poor alteration rates) is that will (1) they expend little time creating their pay for each click ads and even (2) the advertising direct traffic to the lawyer's website. Virtually any Internet marketing professional who knows a thing about pay-per-click understands you never send pay per click on traffic to an internet site. Instead you generate special pages, i actually. e., "landing pages" for pay each click traffic to get directed to. Typically the landing pages perform the job involving convincing traffic to do the actual attorney requires, which is normally to contact the lawyer via mail or by phone. Legal Internet internet directories and portals offer the lawyer a possible Online marketing and advertising option because regarding their popularity and even enhanced Internet awareness. How effective a listing in a lawful Internet directory or portal can become for a lawyer in terms associated with marketing, advertising Web exposure will depend upon the particular attributes of the legal Net directory or site in question. All things being equivalent, legal Internet directories or portals of which charge a fee to be listed within them make even more sense as a good Online marketing and marketing choice than related sites that offer listings for free. The particular lawyer must be especially careful, nevertheless , any time they consider advertising and marketing in legal World wide web directories and sites that "look" just like they offer a new lot -- and even a price to get it -- nevertheless for whatever reasons merely do not produce enough leads with regard to the level of World wide web marketing and advertising money the legal professional must spend. Several legal Internet internet directories and portals can be found that have a new very strong Web presence, and they are outstanding resource centers for lawyers, but this particular does not quickly make sure they are good places to advertise. With Internet legal web sites especially it's not necessarily the amount of lawyers the portal attracts yet who the World wide web legal portal attracts who are searching for legal services. People have paid thousands regarding dollars to promote found in Internet legal portals that have produced nothing in the way of Web marketing and marketing results. An extremely good idea for almost any lawyer who considers advertising in an Internet legal portal is to get some very accurate user demographics upon what kind of special traffic the Internet legitimate portal is actually appealing to. What is a lawyer supposed to do? Everywhere the lawyer looks, if the marketing and advertising and marketing media is World wide web or non-Internet, substantial financial risk is usually involved, plus a guarantee that the legal professional will get fine, solid results for the amount of money they will spend is often difficult to achieve. Finally the best method for a legal professional to go using Internet marketing and even advertising - the way that will ultimately get them the best extended term results for the money they spend -- is usually to give attention to getting their website in order to rank high on organic search results. Any time everything are considered, folks online who look for for goods and services generally search for web sites to find their particular answers. They may look to legal Internet directories and even portals, and when they will not find just what they want they could turn to shell out per click listings as a past resort (only regarding 30% to forty percent of users bother with pay each click) but finally people who search the net are looking intended for websites which provide them with the answers they seek. If the lawyer is looking for an online advertising and advertising answer it doesn't require appearing section of the pay per click crowd, the particular lawyer may would like to take a look at pay per mobile call applications. Pay per mobile phone call is want pay per click, but the particular lawyer does not pay out for a call up unless they obtain one. And typically the costs for pay per phone call up are normally significantly less that the actual lawyer will pay for any click in many cases. A good lawyer may still want to consider receiving involved with various pay per telephone call providers with typically the idea that between typically the providers the legal professional will receive adequate leads in the particular aggregate to help to make involvement with one of these plans worth it. Many of the Internet marketing and even advertising solutions that will a lawyer chooses to look directly into must be attempted on a case by case basis. Definitely nothing can be assumed. A pay-per-click advertising and marketing campaign that works very well for typically the lawyer with 1 search provider may fail miserably using another.

One final thing that some sort of lawyer should be aware of any time it comes to the world wide web and a new website presence is definitely that appearances do count. Many people today are actually on the particular Internet for ten years and have correspondingly seen websites involving all types in addition to styles. People are accustomed to seeing skillfully designed websites. The particular lawyer's website should be too.

[hxseok-honee]

atlas heart || part 25

a/n : so sorry it took so long getting this update out !! i had a disgusting amount of work to do and i really was not doing anything else for a few days -- i really hope you like it!! pls lmk what you think about things now that jimin (and we) know everything! its gonna get,,,, i wanna say messy but messys not even enough to cover how messy its gonna get

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________________________________

Jimin can’t remember the last time he’d closed his eyes for more than a few minutes. Time goes by so fast these days that he’s partially convinced he’s been falling asleep and not realizing it. The hours between class and dinner every day are spent in the library, his headphones shoved into his ears haphazardly while he tunnel visions onto what’s been in the back of his mind since the beginning of the year.

Those spare hours had turned into days and days into weeks -- weekends where he doesn’t even glance at his phone, unaware of the growing concern of his friends. It’s almost May now, the chill of early spring having melted away around him without him realizing. His schoolwork stopped being a priority ages ago, and he knows his grades are really taking the hit for it. He vaguely remembers Namjoon confronting him one night some time ago -- a week? Two weeks ago? -- but he can’t for the life of him recall the contents of that conversation. Something about hating to play the ‘prefect card’, but having no choice. He doesn’t even know if he’s still on the quidditch team. It doesn’t matter -- nothing matters when seeing everything with the perspective he’s got now.

Practically buried in scrolls and books, Jimin could care less about the time and the fact that he’s very obviously breaking curfew right now -- the library’s been empty for hours now, and the light outside the window has well past faded into pitch black darkness. He had to hide from Pince around 10pm, barely managing to catch the click of the librarian’s heels through the music blasting in his headphones to keep him concentrated -- it’s a miracle that she hadn't caught him, really. He’d never be able to focus properly back in his room, not when he’s this close to putting the pieces together.

It’s there, right there, everything scattered in his brain. He knows it’s sitting right in front of him, he can feel himself trying to hyperfocus on anything that can blatantly tell him what he needs to know. Flipping through the pages of a book with one hand and shuffling through scrolls with his other, he glances down at a scrap of paper with his own handwriting, chicken-scratch on a ripped up piece of parchment for him to refer back to every few minutes. There, in black ink, the words ‘vampire’ and ‘veela’ are written and then, later, crossed out. There’s one below it -- ‘maledictus’ -- that remains uncrossed and haunts his every thought.

For the better half of the week, he’d spent his nights scouring the bookshelves for any text he could find on blood malediction -- there isn’t much to show for his efforts. Too rare a condition to have any extensive research done, he could barely manage to put together a few measly scrolls and one book with less than a full chapter on the subject. Sighing heavily, Jimin leans back in his chair, rubbing at his temples while he reconsiders the information for what feels like the hundredth time.

It fits the fact that she has a blood condition… but it’s not right. There’s no mention of a potion or even of regularly experiencing sickness. Y/n is in the Hospital Wing like once a month. There wouldn’t be anything Pomfrey or Hoseok could do to help her if she was a maledictus…

He considers that maybe those things are part of blood malediction and that there just isn’t enough documentation for him to verify it. But there’s something nagging at him, telling him this isn’t right. He thinks back over everything he knows, trying to pull up the major details that could help him finally get some sleep. Ignoring the fact that he very well could doze off, even with his loud ass music, he lets his eyes close so he can think. It takes a few minutes, but eventually he’s sitting up in his seat, eyes wide as he recalls something said to him almost months ago, forgotten amidst everything else on his mind.

“What’s the deal with your roommate, Tae?”

“Who, Stephen?”

“No, not fuckin’ Stephen -- Jungkook!”

“Well, how the hell was I supposed to know?”

“Because Stephen doesn’t look at me like I’m the bane of his existence.”

“Yeah… I don’t know what you did to make Jeon Jungkook hate you, but it must have be serious--”

“Just tell me what you know about him, Tae.”

“I mean… nothing crazy, really -- an only child, comes from old money. Probably as old as the Malfoys or the Potters. His family’s the purest of purebloods. And always Gryffindors, just like the Malfoys are always Slytherins. It’s kind of nuts, having a family history like that.”

Jimin stumbles out of his chair, already making his way down the aisles of bookshelves, almost crazed with concentration.

Purest of purebloods -- there’s not a single pureblood family that isn’t documented in a registry… registry… regis-- aha!

Turning down an aisle designated for family registries dating back centuries, he scans the shelves at a lightening speed, finally coming to a halt in front of a tome titled Gryffindor Legacies. Hauling it from the shelf, he doesn’t even bother returning to his table, taking a seat right there on the floor.

Flipping straight to the back to search for the family name, he locates it easily and heads to appropriate page. Searching the family tree down generations, it takes him several pages of flipping through Jungkook’s ancestors’ lives to finally get to his parents. They’re the most recent entry -- new editions of the book are printed with each new generation, the original, handwritten copy belonging to the respective families. It’s an inefficient system for sure, but Jimin’s not exactly complaining when he’s the one benefiting directly.

Scanning the page, from the birth of his mother -- Jeon Eunha -- to her school days, from her marriage to his father all the way to Jungkook’s birth. Jimin expects the next part to follow the same structure of his mother’s story, recounting his childhood, but it diverges from that almost immediately with some extra lines that he almost feels don’t exist in the original copy at the Jeon family residence.

Not long after the birth of their first and only child, they were met with circumstances leading to the adoption and care of another, the recently orphaned infant girl, Y/n Y/l/n. In her days at Hogwarts, young Eunha had become friends with a female Ravenclaw student, who had a noticeably sickly pallor about her at all times. She was to become her closest lifelong friend. The same night in which Y/l/n was to give birth to her first child, she and her husband met an untimely fate in the form of a violent animal attack in the backyard of their own home. The Jeon family were the first to arrive at the premises, deciding immediately to take in the infant child and raise her alongside their own son. Not much else is known about the girl, only that she and the Jeon heir were to become inseparable.

Jimin stares down at the page, unblinking. There’s a lot of information to process, but the things that stand out most to him are the fact that Y/n’s mother was also apparently afflicted with the same illness as Y/n, and --

‘Violent animal attack’? I knew the car accident thing was bullshit, but… did her mom not even die in childbirth? Why would she not tell me… there’s nothing suspicious about an animal atta--

Almost like his brain has started to short-circuit after the long nights and lack of sleep, Jimin’s thoughts are gone instantly, replaced by the mental image of a book sitting not a even a few aisles away, on a table littered with all of the information he’d ever needed in the first place. He’s completely incapable of registering anything around him as he races back to his table, his mind flipping incomprehensibly between the information in front of him and all of the pieces of his memories, details that make too much sense in this moment to match anything but this one conclusion.

Most Muggles, however, will die from the extent of their injuries… all known instances of Muggle attacks have been portrayed in the media as ‘animal attacks’ so as to preserve the secrecy of the wizarding world…

Given the extent of the available research and data, collected almost entirely from male subjects afflicted with lycanthropy, not much is known about the hereditary components related to a female werewolf. Therefore, it is unknown if a pregnant female werewolf's transformations would affect the ability to carry the pregnancy to term…

Without any humans nearby to attack, or other animals to occupy it, the werewolf will attack itself out of frustration…

“My mom died in childbirth and my dad… just a… just a freak accident you know, no one’s fault or anything…”

Because werewolves only pose a danger to humans, companionship with animals whilst transformed has been known to make the experience more bearable as the werewolf has no-one to harm and will be less willing to harm themselves…

“You want to talk about forbidden, Jeon? Let’s talk about your illegal animagus status-”

The way one must imbibe it is very unique among potions, in that a goblet full of wolfsbane potion must be taken each day for a week preceding the full moon…

“…you know how long it takes me to make a full set of vials for you. I barely have enough to make it last 3 days…”

The monthly transformation of a werewolf is extremely painful if untreated and is usually preceded and succeeded by a few days of pallor and ill health…

“He was lowkey carrying her down the stairs… she looked kinda sick actually…”

Throwing scrolls behind him without care as he searches for the one with the final detail, he pulls his phone out when he finds it -- a book listing all of the recorded moon cycles for over a century. Jamming his thumb down on the icon that’ll take him to his search engine and typing with blind panic, he finds himself yanking out his headphones by the cord with one sharp tug when the answer flashes back at it him on the screen, and he realizes that almost all of the pieces are in place.

The quidditch match against Slytherin -- it was the night before a full moon.

“No, no… no, no, no, this can’t be right. This isn’t happening, this can’t be right, she can’t be--” Jimin remembers the text he’d sent to her almost 8 hours ago, sitting unanswered, and he moves without thinking. Slamming his hands down on either side of the moon cycle record, he flips frantically to the cycle for this current month, April of 1978. What he sees there has his heart dropping out of his chest.

“Next week? It’s next week? But that means she’d have to be feeling the effects of it this wee--” He’s cut off by the feeling of his phone buzzing in his pocket, and he reaches for it almost desperately. It’s Y/n, finally responding to his concerned texts with nothing more than a single line. His blood turns to ice when he reads it.

I’m fine, just feeling under the weather.

--

When Jimin bursts through the door of Dumbledore’s office just past 3am, the headmaster’s already seated at his desk, evidently waiting for him. He’s donning a light blue robe with a matching sleeping cap perched delicately on his head, suggesting to Jimin that he’d somehow woken up knowing he was soon to greet a guest. All of the panic invading Jimin’s body is masked just slightly by guilt, only now realizing how late it is and how intrusive he must seem in this moment.

“Mister Park, you certainly are out quite a bit past curfew, no?” Jimin stands in the doorway cradling all of the scrolls and books he’d been hoarding the last few weeks -- he can’t very well have left a huge pile of evidence back in the library. It would have taken no time at all for someone to look through it and see there were connections everywhere to lycanthropy, even if he himself had been blind to it for so long.

“... Park? Mister Park?” Jimin jumps, lifting his tired eyes to meet Dumbledore’s concerned ones. The man continues once he’s got Jimin’s attention. “Surely, you must need something from me, or you wouldn’t appear so…” He doesn’t finish his sentence. He doesn’t need to. Jimin’s aware of the state he’s in -- the dark rings under his eyes, his ruffled clothes and hair, the way he’s holding his books like he needs to protect them with his life. He looks unhinged. He feels unhinged.

Realizing he has absolutely no idea how to approach the subject of a potential werewolf at Hogwarts with the school’s very headmaster, Jimin decides to start by moving toward the chair in front of Dumbledore’s desk.

Maybe I just need to sit down and take a deep breath. That should help--

He doesn’t even make it two steps before one of the many books he’s holding crashes to the floor between them, falling open to the page he’d stuck a pencil in to save his spot. The moon cycle for April of 1978 stares back up at him, and when he flicks his gaze up to peer at Dumbledore, he sees the headmaster’s expression has hardened with caution.

“Professor--”

“Have a seat, Mister Park.” Jimin’s heart lodges in his throat at Dumbledore’s tone, never having heard such a sharp edge to the kind man’s voice. He moves to the chair, setting the obnoxious amount of research haphazardly in his lap. His eyes will only go so far as the top of Dumbledore’s desk, unable to bring himself to meet the man’s eyes.

“Sir, I… need to ask you something.” When he isn’t granted a response, he swallows hard, pushing forward. “If there were to be a student at Hogwarts with a… peculiarity of sorts… how would you go about dealing with that?”

“How would I deal with what, Mister Park?”

“That student.”

“I’m not quite sure I know what you mean.” Jimin lifts his eyes then, confused, but he’s met with a deliberately ignorant smile.

“Sir?” Dumbledore’s smile, albeit strained, only widens.

“I think you may be suffering from a lack of sleep, Mister Park. There are no students at Hogwarts with any peculiarities, as you call it.” Jimin stares suspiciously up at him, knowing Dumbledore can tell that Jimin doesn’t for a second believe that claim. Breaking eye contact, he glances down at his lap, trying to figure out how to keep this conversation going. Trying to figure out why he’s even here.

Jimin looks down at himself and the pile of incriminating evidence, cursing his idiocy when he realizes just how bad this situation must look. A student out of bed way past curfew, barging into the headmaster’s office holding weeks of research and making outrageous claims about a potentially dangerous student. And he’s a Ravenclaw no less.

Shit. He probably thought I was some nosy little fucker trying to expose her and get her expelled.

Knowing that he’s risking a lot by being straightforward, he takes a single deep breath and meets Dumbledore’s eyes, his own filled with determination.

“Sir, I know about Y/n Y/l/n, and I know you do, too. I need to know how to take care of her. I need to know how to help her. I need you to tell me what to do because, to be honest with you, I’m freaking out.” The way Dumbledore’s examining him as he speaks tells Jimin that he’s right, but more importantly, it tells Jimin that Dumbledore hadn’t been expecting him to want to help.

“That is a very serious accusation you’re making, Mister Park, especially in this political climate. Very serious.” Jimin doesn’t waver when he responds.

“I know, sir. That’s why you’re the only one I’ve made it to. Because I need your help. Because I know you can help.” Dumbledore narrows his eyes, peering at Jimin over the tops of his half-moon spectacles.

“Have you considered the fact that just you knowing this information at all has placed Miss Y/l/n in more danger than she’s already in?” As soon as the words leave Dumbledore’s mouth, Jimin’s heart is stopping in his chest. All the times that Hoseok and Jungkook had told him to mind his business come rushing back, and he feels himself becoming sick to his stomach. Of course it’s more dangerous for her now that he knows -- he’d been too selfish to even think it through, too nosy for his own good. He had done all this to try to understand her, to try to be a better friend who can help when she needs it, but it’s all bullshit. Everything he thought he had done for her sake had actually been for his. For him and his stupid curiosity.

Lifting his head as a thought comes to mind, Jimin doesn’t even think twice before speaking.

“Can you erase my memories?” The headmaster’s eyebrows fly to his hairline, his expression becoming amused as Jimin continues rambling. “Can’t you obliviate me or something? Wouldn’t that be the best way for me to help her? Wait… but do you have to erase everything I know about her -- will I still know her? Can you make sure I still know her? I really like her! I don’t like Hoseok or Jungkook very much -- they kind of scare me -- but I like her! I don’t want to forget her, but also if me knowing that she’s a werewolf is only going to cause her more trouble, then I really think you should make me forget--” Dumbledore lifts his hand calmly, effectively silencing a frantic Jimin.

“Have you always had such a one-track mind, Mister Park?” Jimin smiles weakly, offering a half-joking response.

“It’s my only redeeming Ravenclaw quality…” Dumbledore chuckles before scratching at his forehead with a heavy sigh.

“Unfortunately -- and I do truly mean that -- I cannot erase a student’s memories. So, you and I will need to continue this difficult conversation.” Jimin considers the man’s words, knowing that it really would be better for everyone if he had his mind wiped clean and hating that he’d unknowingly put Y/n even more in harm’s way. He looks up when Dumbledore sighs again.

“Mister Park, you do understand that you are strictly forbidden from informing anyone else of this situation, yes?” When Jimin nods immediately, opening his mouth to assure the man that he wouldn’t say a word, Dumbledore only shakes his head. “No, Mister Park, I’m not sure you really understand. This situation is infinitely more complicated than you could ever imagine, so it is absolutely imperative that you keep this information to yourself.” Jimin blinks, unsure what’s meant by ‘infinitely more complicated’, but he nods again.

“I’ve put her in enough danger just by being here, Sir -- I’m not breathing a word of this to anyone.” Dumbledore examines him a moment longer, essentially staring into Jimin’s soul to gauge his trustworthiness. Eventually he nods, leaning back in his chair.

“What advice would you like me to give you, Mister Park?” Jimin stays silent, thinking hard about any way that he can make Y/n’s life easier, especially after all the trouble he’s caused up to now. His mind flashes back to the conversation he’d overheard in the library. He opens his mouth slowly, choosing his words with care.

“Sir… how does a student that isn’t even taking Potions know how to brew the wolfsbane potion? Isn’t it nearly impossible?” Jimin sees Dumbledore’s eyes flicker with recognition, and the headmaster responds cautiously.

“…If that student isn’t taking any kind of Potions course at all, they’d need to already be an expert from having dedicated all their studies to the art of potionmaking. They would also need an immense amount of private mentoring, even if they are taking Potions. We do not teach the wolfsbane potion in the curriculum. As I’m sure you can imagine, it wouldn’t fare well in these times…” Jimin squints, putting the pieces together quickly in his mind.

“And where would a student like that find this kind of… private mentoring?” The headmaster hums at Jimin’s question, peering down at him with knowing eyes.

“Well, Mister Park, if you wish to receive mentoring on much… safer forms of potionmaking, I’m sure Professor Slughorn would be happy to help you. However, if you are asking me about Mister Jung Hoseok of Slytherin House, and if you are wondering just how he became capable of caring for Miss Y/l/n at the young age of 13, well… you’re looking at his mentor.”

--

When Jimin leaves Dumbledore’s office almost an hour later, he feels like his head is going to explode. The nights of sleeplessness seem to also have come rushing back to him at once, and he’s not sure if he’s going to collapse first from the exhaustion or from the weight of everything he knows now. For a moment, he considers that maybe he really should ask someone to erase his memories -- Jungkook or Hoseok, perhaps.

Yeah, I’m sure they’d absolutely love to do me that favor.

Dragging his feet as he trudges down the corridor in the direction of Ravenclaw tower, Jimin stops short at a window when movement down by the Black Lake catches his eye. Almost as if thinking about them has caused them to materialize before him, Jimin watches the silhouette of Jung Hoseok stroll casually down by the shoreline, followed not long after by Jeon Jungkook racing toward him, a body perched precariously on his back. It’s not hard to see that Y/n’s clinging weakly to him as he runs, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he keeps his hands hooked under her knees. Jimin can see that she’s got a gown on from the Hospital Wing, and it’s obvious that Jungkook and Hoseok have snuck her out from under Madam Pomfrey’s stern supervision.

They head for the Forbidden Forest, Y/n reaching back for Hoseok when Jungkook passes him. She beckons him forward, and Jimin watches as the three of them disappear together into the trees. He sighs deeply when he can no longer see them, muttering to himself under his breath as he makes his way to his room, overcome with extreme guilt at the entire situation.

“You’ve really gone and done it now, you fucking idiot.”

[greatqueenanna]

Delving deeper into Agnarr and Iduna's story.

Ever since I wrote the first part of this analysis, I’ve gotten a pretty positive response for it - most fans recognize that, while reckless, the choice of separating and isolating the girls was the only choice Agnarr and Iduna had with this unique situation. Tragic in every way, but necessary.

However, one of the things that are still being discussed to this day is whether or not Frozen 2 addressed the separation and isolation properly - that is, if the more subtle approach and scattering it across multiple installments was enough to really delve into the complexity of the separation and the trauma the girls faced.

The main content that addresses this element was Frozen 2 (obviously), Forest of Shadows, Dangerous Secrets, and True Treasure. Given that not everyone has access to or is not aware of a lot of the side books, it makes it difficult for everyone to get the full story. Because of this, I want to explore the full story of Agnarr and Iduna and go over how each of these installments, including the film itself, addressed the separation.

Part 1: Frozen 2

While Frozen 2 left out a lot of complexities when it came to the separation, there were indeed two scenes in particular that really delved into this element - particularly for Elsa.

When the sisters find the ship is the first of these scenes. Here is where Anna and Elsa witness what their parents were willing to do in order to give Elsa a better life.

"Ahtohallan is the source of the magic - We keep going. For Elsa..."

Here, we clearly see that while it wasn't directly stated, Iduna and Agnarr realized that the separation wasn't working and that they were willing to fight the storm if it meant that they could fix their mistakes.

Elsa: This is my fault, they were looking for answers about me.

Anna: You are not responsible for their choices -

Elsa: No, just their deaths.

Anna: Stop. No. Yelana asks why would the spirit reward Arendelle with a magical queen? Because our mother saved our father. She saved her enemy. Her good deed was rewarded - With you - You are a gift.

In this conversation, we see Elsa recognizing that her parents wanted to find answers for her in order to give her a better life. Thank goodness Anna is there to redirect the conversation and explain that they made this choice on their own and that Elsa is not to blame for it. She then helps explain to Elsa that she is a gift, not a bad omen that caused misery to others.

It is through this scene that Elsa (and Anna) see that their parents wanted to try and find answers, to give them a better life. This is the sisters witnessing the parents agree that their situation needed to change and that their choices were not working.

The second scene that explores this is Show Yourself. This entire scene is Elsa finally realizing that she is allowed to be herself.

Throughout Elsa's childhood, the parents thought that Elsa should hide her emotions with her gloves in order to conceal the magic (due to their own traumas that we will explore more in part 2). Elsa felt that she wasn't allowed to be herself as it would lead to someone being hurt.

In this scene, Iduna confirms to Elsa that she is indeed allowed to be herself, directly contradicting and going against whatever fears they themselves gave her or what Elsa may have instilled into herself during the separation.

"Show Yourself. Step into your power. Grow yourself into something new. You are the one you've been waiting for all of your life."

Here we see Iduna letting Elsa know that she can be herself, and no longer needs to apologize for her powers. This leads to Elsa's full self-fulfillment because not only does she have the love of her sister and the respect from her people, but also the approval from her parents that she is ok.

Part 2: Dangerous Secrets

In this novel, we get more explanation as to why Iduna and Agnarr thought that giving Elsa the gloves to conceal her emotions was an acceptable plan. In my original post, I argued that Agnarr never intended for Elsa to hide her emotions. However, this was proven to be false in Dangerous Secrets, as we are given the origin of this mantra.

Agnarr was taught this from Lord Peterssen, his father's advisor. Because the young boy was scared to be King at such a young age and thought that his emotions would be a weakness, Petersen told him that he needs to "Conceal, don't feel" in order to appear stronger. Given that this was the only way he was taught to deal with emotions, both from this man that acted as a guardian to him and his own father, Aganrr thought that it was appropriate to teach Elsa as well.

Iduna was taught the same thing from Peterssen, but for a different reason. As Iduna was Northuldra, she had to hide her true self from the Arendellians in order to stay safe - something that was further pushed by Petersen when she wanted to tell Aganrr the truth of her origins before their marriage.

Later on, we see Iduna especially, given how she relates to hiding her true heritage to Elsa's struggles, realizes how wrong this thought process was.

"Since then (the accident), Agnarr had tried to help her (Elsa) do just that - control her emotions, control her magic(....)It hadn't worked, In fact, things had only gotten worse. "

I cringed at the idea of the coming explosion, which at this point seemed unavoidable. It could be devastating not only to her, but perhaps to the entire kingdom. That was why we had her here, tucked away, I tried to remind myself. But all the rationality in the world couldn't quash the guilt. The kind of thing villains did in the storybooks - not heroes."

"My whole life I was told to hide," I said after a pause. "I don't want Elsa to have to grow up doing the same."

We also see Iduna telling Elsa directly that hiding her emotions was not a good way to control her magic, and would only make her feel worse.

"I know that's what your father has told you," I said, slowly. "And maybe it does help, for a time. But squashing down your emotions can only work for so long. Before you feel like a powder keg. Ready to explode."

Iduna later confronts Aganrr about this, convincing him that they needed to find a better solution. Agnarr agrees, setting the expedition himself to Ahtohallan.

Part 3: Forest of Shadows

Many people put forward that Anna's trauma from the separation was not addressed. Frozen 2 focused more on Anna's dependency on her loved ones for validation. She had to lose everything in order to depend on herself. It was written very well, but there was still an element that seemed missing from Anna's development - Anna's feelings of low self-worth that stemmed from the separation. This is where Forest of Shadows comes in.

While I feel that Anna did not need the validation from her parents as much as Elsa did, given that her relationship with her parents was not as strained, it would still be nice if the story acknowledged where these feelings came from in the first place.

This book covers Anna's feelings about herself, and whether or not she can be trusted with important information and tasks. The book has Anna directly relate this fear to her parents hiding Elsa's powers from her.

"Something scraped in Anna, like a rough crumb caught in her throat. Because...well, her family's burdens and secrets hadn't been for everyone. Or at least, they hadn't been for Anna. Her father had let a mountain troll bundle away Anna's memories of Elsa's ice magic, and he, her mother, and Elsa had all worked together to keep it a secret from Anna."

This is important because it shows that Anna realizes the root of her feelings of inadequacy comes from - not from anything she herself has done but from how her family chose to approach the situation.

Throughout the story, Anna struggles with the idea if she is capable of handling important and serious situations. Anna finally gets her answer when she sees that Elsa was planning on leaving Anna in Arendelle while she went on a grand tour. Anna wanted to go with Elsa but felt that she didn't want her to go because she didn't feel Anna was capable enough. However, we come to find out that this is not true.

"I, Elsa, Queen of Arendelle, do hereby proclaim my sister, Anna of Arendelle, Keeper of the Kingdom while I sail on the grand tour. She is kind, thoughtful, and loves Arendelle with the whole of her heart. There is none better than her to watch over the kingdom while I am away."

Anna realizes that the only person that felt she was incapable was herself, not Elsa or anyone.

Of course, this is nice but wouldn't it have been wonderful for Anna to hear it from her parents as well? I agree, and this is one of the many reasons why Anna fans were upset that this deleted scene was removed. While the feelings of the parents in this scene were made canon by Dangerous Secrets, Anna still never got to hear it directly from them.

We can have some comfort, however, in the next part.

Part 4: True Treasure

Psst, you all can read the full story here. After you read, please support the writer and artist by purchasing the comic when you are able to.

True Treasure is unique in that it is a comic book that explores the sister's relationship with Iduna during the separation years. The sisters later find out that Iduna had set up a treasure hunt for them, and the girls use their memories of different events to discover the prize.

However, what is especially amazing about this book, is that it has Iduna (and Agnarr) directly apologizing to the sisters for separating them.

Later, Elsa and Anna say that they are ready to move forward and make their own futures together.

Conclusion

Thus, from all these sources, we see that the separation and the trauma it caused to the sisters were indeed addressed. Given that it was done in multiple installments, it might be difficult for everyone to see the full story. So, I wanted to provide it all for you here, so we all can know the parent's full story.

Iduna and Agnarr were taught their whole lives that they needed to conceal their emotions and true selves in order to stay safe or appear stronger. Wanting to keep both their daughters safe, and Arendelle, they thought that separating the girls and isolating Elsa would be the best choice. This was never meant to be permanent, as they both wanted their daughters to be together again. While Agnarr worked directly with Elsa to help with her magic, Iduna worked behind the scenes doing expensive research.

As the years went by, Iduna started to feel incredibly guilty about the separation and confronted Agnarr about it, who had actually come to feel the same way. They both realized that what they were taught and teaching Elsa was wrong, and the only thing it did was make Elsa's fear that she already had even worse. After creating the Treasure Hunt in hopes that the girls would be together again, the parents went to Ahtohallan to find answers for Elsa's magic, and finally, end the curse of fear that was plaguing their family.

Unfortunately, they were never able to see their daughters together again. Agnarr and Iduna are very tragic figures and knowing everything that happened only gives their story more meaning.

[freddiekluger]

I am all ears for your season 3 cap's big gay awakening ideas 👀👀

alright, you asked so sit down and strap in

before we get started- a few details are recycled/repurposed from earlier headcanons/ask answers (characterisation is like that), and i came up with all this a couple weeks back, so any overlap with other peoples suggestions is totally unintentional! i’ve just been finding the energy to properly write them up as originally i riffed them with a friend late at night lmao

the captain: homo evolution

introduction (scroll down if you’re not bothered for the hardcore analysis/logic)

this isn’t necessarily what i think WILL happen as much as how i would do it. over the past two seasons of Ghosts, we’ve seen the captain’s main character arc being centred around him loosening up, from learning to value mike, alison, and the other ghosts more as equals than soldiers/means to an end to the season 2 finale, where cap is not only expressing an interest in flowers and fashion (distinctly un-soldierly pursuits) but joining the party and other men (the direct opposite of About Last Night, in which cap bah humbugs partying/’gay abandon’ and is left speechless by the mere presence of a mostly naked man). that being said, the captain is still the captain: his character is still centred around this need for rules and structure and he still finds his identity in the archetypal WW2 military man- all of his incremental moves towards a more ‘modern’ perspective have ultimately been made possible because, like Ben said on twitter, the captain isn’t CONSCIOUSLY aware that he’s gay. he has the underlying feeling that he’s different, he knows of his tendency to attach himself to specific men and form incredibly close bonds (and, as demonstrated by his attempts to hide them, is at least somewhat aware that that’s not the norm), but in his mind he’s written that off as merely “not being a ladies man”. 

the captain is from the 1940s- it’s one thing for him to see and be supportive of a same-gender wedding in present day England where gay=legal unions, marketed doritos, and homophobia being still present but generally frowned upon, and another thing entirely for him to have to apply it to himself. we’ve already seen that the captain appears to be stuck in the past more than any of the other ghosts (”the war is over!” “is it, alison? is it?”- he also references the past more frequently than most of the others), and in his past sodomite gay=punishable by imprisonment and chemical castration, back alley hookups, and the constant threat of blackmail and violence. obviously, despite all this, there was a vibrant underground queer history taking place in England during this time & not all of the above is accurate, but it’s what cap would have seen, and the England of the early 20th century is denoted as being a particularly brutal period for lgbtq+ folks (the destruction of the first world war exacerbated rage and frustration, and lgbtq+ people weren’t the only gorup to end up on the receiving end of that, but i digress). this is basiclly just a really long way of me saying that the captain compartmentalising to that degree was, and to some extent is, a survival mechanism. confronting his homoseuxality means confronting what it means for a 1940s man to be a dreaded homosexual, and all of that directly conflicts with the image of ‘the Captain’ he’s built in his mind. 

we’ve seen this in Redding Weddy, where the captain is aware that Havers means/meant more to him than was normal for a captain/2ic relationship (he does attempts to hide his affection- “i shall miss you, Havers. by which of course i mean we shall miss you “he left me, i mean he left for the front”), but is never able to fully verbalise WHY, and it only takes a series of increasingly dramatic prompts before he will even mention the idea of Havers, let alone begin to articulate their relationship. 

all this just goes to prove that for the captain to properly ‘come out’, there needs to be an external inciting incident- he could easily have gone on shadowing attractive men whenever they visit and avoiding interrogating those feelings for another seventy years if Button house remained without alison and mike. 

while at least julian, pat, and robin have noticed that the cap is not the most heteroseual of men (they’re the only ghosts who have visibly reacted when cap says gay shit), they all appear to have decided to just not mention it, which makes alison and mike our wildcards. not only has alison’s ability to see and communicate with the ghosts already connected them more to the modern world than they ever have been, alison, and mike by extension, has a personal stake in the wellbeing/general growth of the ghosts. happy ghosts=happy house, and like it or not some of them are even beginning to become friends. [i probably didn’t need to write all this like explaining my decisions, but i think figuring out the motivations behind everyon just develops the flavour and lets us have a sexy and accurate headcanon]

so,

the episode

while the captain might not consciously know he’s a fruit (derogatory), he is well and truly terrible at concealing the thirst (it’s not his fault things just keep slipping out!)- i love the idea of just having a supercut near the beginning of the episode that just shows that the captain has gotten even GAYER since last season, with slip ups becoming almost a daily occurence, but it’s getting to the point where it’s actually becoming a serious hazard. last week, he was supposed to be looking out for alison while attempted to put up blinds, but one of mike’s friends (who was over ‘helping out’, which mostly meant eating chips and covering himself in paint) walked through the room with his shirt off and paint handprints on the seat of his shorts, distracting the captain from realising that alison’s stepladder was about to give way. 

with the increased presence of non elderly men in the house (the previous owner wasn’t exactly the life of the party) the captain is getting gayer and gayer, but he’s also becoming more and more defensive, while his brisk demeanour and need for control regresses to much more of a season 1 state (a subconscious attempt to regain control as things get close to spilling over). it’s not the first time his repression has almost slipped, he spent much of his life surrounded by soldiers after all, but with no war and no corporeal body he’s got almost nothing to distract himself from it. needless to say, between the safety hazards and the almost agressive defensiveness which derails any interaction, something needs to be done about the captain.

throughout the week, alison tries to find the opportune time to talk to the captain about what’s going on with him for everyone’s sake, but cap keeps masterfully evading any ‘deep’ talk with willful misunderstanding or just straight up dismissal (which at times gets a bit rude), and alison really doesn’t have the time- her and mike are caught up with managing the first official room redecoration and butting heads with a passive agressive delivery driver. insert general shenangigans, but at some point the captain’s whole “accidentally sabotage something by being distracted and then attack anyone who dares even look at him the wrong way afterwards” act causes alison to exasperatedly blurt out “we all know you’re gay! we get it! you like men! you can drop the act!”. there’s no malice or anything but, as we know, when alison gets run ragged things don’t tend to come out quite right.

everything falls silent (and mike is vaguely confused), and the captain just looks like a deer in headlights. as alison catches her breath, pat pipes up with a “it’s alright, cap, we don’t mind- now we can focus on the task at hand”. the captain sort of regains his composure and once again attempts to brush them all off with a scoff and a “i haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. if any of us is distracted, i-it’s... kitty!” but it’s easy to tell he looks rattled. most of his words don’t come out right, and after trying to blame kitty for their failures (she just had the unfortunate luck of being in his line of sight), he ends up doing an awkward little walk away which quickly turns into a full on sprint. mike, having finished processing alison yelling about gay shit to the air and kind of pieced together what must have happened awkwardly chimes in with “it’s okay to be gay!”- alison just pats him on the back (”yeah no he’s gone, mike.” “gone?” “sprinted away.” “huh”)

the episode continues with the captain flat out avoiding alison and the other ghosts to an almost funny extent as the other plots continue. it takes a bit for alison to realise why the captain reacted so badly (in fact, it’s actually mike who remembers that he’s 1940s ghost- “he’s probably just scared and taking it out on everyone else”). while thomas and julian vote for leaving the captain be so they can have some peace and quiet, fanny/pat/alison/robin decide someone needs to talk to him (fanny surprised everyone but after all, she got murdered because her husband had to live in secrecy- if talking to the captain will avert any further crises, she’s happy to make sure someone else does it for her). kitty’s still upset about being singled out, but she knows better than anyone that sometimes all you need is a friend- cue realisation no. 2.

with the captain avoiding everyone, sending in a regular emissary isn’t going to work. they need to find the least threatening person possible, with no agenda or history other than being there to help (a friend, if you will)- cue everyone looking at mike.

a quick offscreen briefing later, we see mike wandering out to the field where the captain has exiled himself- remember that up until this point, the captain was still in conscious denial about his sexuality, so being forced to confront it head on (and finding out that apparently everyone ‘knew’, which for cap would feel like an intimate invasion of privacy/forced vulnerability) would rattle him to the point of self-exile- he might not be able to run from his sexuality, but he can run from people. the thing is, mike can’t see or hear the ghosts, which means the captain can’t be frightened off by any expectations (mike actually talks to/at cap while facing completely the wrong direction, but consdiering the above point, this works rather well). 

the captain was alternating between pacing, fiddling with his swagger stick, and sitting, but he unconsciously stands to attention as mike wanders over. he’s used to mike not being able to see them, so mike asking to sit down takes him by surprise, disrupting his instinct to flee again.

mike begins a little awkwardly (”mind if i sit?” *silence* “...i’m just gonna assume that’s a no. or is it a yes? yeah anyways i’m just gonna sit. so... heard you’ve been going through a rough patch”), and the captain almost scoffs and wanders off, but something about the clumsy earnestness in mike’s voice, the captain’s vulnerable state, and the fact that it’s been so long since cap has had anyone actually check in on him, that he stays put. he keeps standing and staring away from button house, and mike keeps speaking to the empty air to his left, and alison and the ghosts stay hidden behind their bush a few metres away, but at least the captain is listening. for the first time in weeks, he’s not on the offensive.

“i can’t actually see or hear you, so i’m just gonna talk and assume you’re listening. alison mentioned you have a habit of running away but, um, maybe don’t do that please?”

“my mate daniel's gay. uh, homosexual, you’d probably say- did you have gay when you were alive? did it just mean happy? anyway, he didn’t come out- that means tell people- until he left high school. we all kind of guessed it, the other kids at school gave him a real tough time for it, but he just squashed it down. couldn’t imagine that all the things people were shouting at him were true, so he ignored it. he’s doing good now though. got married to his husband last year, currently runs a bookshop. so that’s nice.”

it goes quiet for a bit. the captain hasn’t moved, and we’re still only seeing shots of him from the back, but there’s a little less tension in his stance than there was before.  mike clears his throat before continuing.

“i’m guessing you’re probably pretty scared right now. i would be- i mean not that you should be, you shouldn’t, but coming from your... situation, i’m guessing it’d be hard. no one’s saying you have to be anything you’re not ready to be, but lots of things that are scary are actually not bad. airplanes, skydiving, clowns- well, not the clown from that movie, but he gives clowns a bad rep- i’m sure there are plenty of lovely clowns out in the world. still give me the creeps though.” the captain makes a captain-y noise of assent about the clown comment- he never liked them either. 

mike glances over to the bush where alison and the ghosts were attempting to listen in (they could only catch every few words- mary got particularly concerned about why mike had referenced clowns), and the captain still hasn’t run away, so alison motions for mike to keep going. he starts telling the captain a story from his uni days. it’s got nothing to do with the captain, or being gay, or self-acceptance, or anything like that- it’s just a standard tale of comedic but inventive problem solving. the captain sits himself down next to mike (to his right, avoiding mike’s gaze, and still staring away from button house), muttering that his legs are getting a bit tired. he sits there for a while, and mike just talks. sometimes he circles back to the gay thing, sometimes he just asks the captain questions, before remembering that he can’t actually hear any answer, but then he keeps asking anyway, thinking that cap might need to talk. he doesn’t at first, but slowly he offers up a word or two. and then a sentence, and then maybe more- mike will accidentally cut the captain off, or leave the silence to long, but the captain doesn’t mind (it’s a nice reminder that nothing he says will actually go on to have consequence). at one point, mike gets out his phone to show the captain photos of his mate daniel and daniel's husband, not just their wedding day but casual photos- couples drinks with him and alison, dinners at each other's places, the bookshop. 

alison and the other ghosts have long gone, and the sun is just about to sink below the horizon by the time the captain stands himself back up with the traditional knee crack and grunt. he looks at mike and nods, giving him a simple thank you before turning to walk (not run) back to button house, head held slightly higher and looking more relaxed than he’s been all episode. the captain has still got a lot to figure out, but at least it’s a start.

[i love the dramatic ending but the implication is that alison has to go and fetch mike bc he has no ideas cap has left and is prepared to keep going lol- also by no means is cap suddenly going to ditch his characterisation and become a yas kween gay right away, i didn’t go into the aftermath bc this is alreayd fucking LONG but let me know if you want follow up????}

EDIT: i've rbed this with the follow up/part 2 attached!

EDIT 2, much later: switched out mike's reference to his 'younger brother' to a school friend, since the christmas special confirmed mike only has sisters and we're all about accuracy here

[felassanis]

Butch didn’t like it when people touched him.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t shake someone’s hand or accept a quick pat on the back. He didn’t dodge every fleeting touch like they were incoming missiles. But they were brief and short-lived. Often done with lack of conviction. He didn’t have time to wonder if a pat would turn into a push, if the person shaking his hand would keep holding on no matter how hard he pulled away. In any other scenario, long-lasting touches made him shiver. Made him itchy. Made him freeze in anticipation.

The last time someone held him properly...it was an unconventional situation. 

It started with the bad kind of touching. His mother drank heavily on Fridays, excusing herself by saying Friday’s were her day off. As if her alcoholism discriminated between days. Butch knew his role when she wound up slumped on the floor was to get her up, tell her she could have her party in her room where it would be more comfortable. Never say it was because he was helping her, she hated the feeling of being weak and it was a sure fire way of setting her off. 

This particular night. Wally and him got into a fight; not an uncommon occurrence between the two tunnel snakes but that didn’t mean it was no less severe. Butch wound up walking back to his room with a busted eye and feeling sore. Maybe it was selfish of him to pick Friday of all days to get on Wally’s nerves, but this fight had been a hot exchange of cruel words and violent hits. And finally ending with Butch with his tail inbetween his legs feeling crap about himself...

“You think you have the right to cry?” She said to him. Words slurring as spittle dripped from her mouth. He hadn’t been there five minutes, hanging in the doorway like he was intruding in on her, and already her eyes were burning with molten resentment. “What gives you the right?! You come home looking like that, bruises and cuts because you get into these fights. And you think you get to cry!?”

“I ain’t crying ma,” He mumbled, just wanting to get past her so he could crawl into bed. He avoids looking directly at her, partly because he doesn’t want to face her, partly because he’s trying to hide his black eye.

She laughed loudly, scoffing. Her whole body was slumped, her back against his bedroom door with limbs limp and unmoving like a ragdoll. Like the bottom part of her body was paralysed. Except her face; her face was expressive and constantly moving. Writhing like she was flitting between pain and ecstasy. Her mouth was twisted concoction of smiling and frowning, opening and closing as if she was speaking but no words - save for hoarse breathing - came out until she managed to form enough to yell at him.

“You’re always crying...always sobbing. You think I don’t hear you at night?” She snaps.

He swallows the thickening lump in his throat. 

“You think I’m a horrible mother,” She all of a sudden stops laughing and now her eyes are wet with tears. “You make me the bad guy….” She wails.

Her jarring shift in moods urges Butch to hurry to her side as she holds her head in her hands. He was hesitant to get close, it felt like poking the tiger. However, that sharp pang of guilt ate away at him. He shakily reaches for her shoulder. “I don’t think you're the bad guy! Honest ma! Don’t cry, don’t cry…”

As if he had burned her, she lurches herself from his touch, pushing him back hard and she rises to her feet. “Of course you do!” He chases after her, stands to her level.

He has to try and hold her. Even though he doesn’t want to, the anxiety that she might shatter into a million pieces because of him if he doesn’t hold her tight overwhelms him. But when he tries to reach her she hits his hand away, then when he withdraws a little too quickly he can see the hurt in her eyes.

“Ma, please.” His voice breaks.

“Oh for god’s sake!” She shouts. He flinches, worried someone is going to hear her and come running inside. Making her worse. “Do you think you’re the only one suffering!? I’m a widow with a spoilt brat who takes everything I do for granted! You lie and fight and most nights you spend in a cell instead at home with me! I bet you prefer it there don’t you? Yeah, you prefer slumming it in a cell making your mother worried sick! You’d do anything to get away from me!”

“That isn’t-” It’s a few steps forward, hand tantalisingly reaching for her in one last desperate attempt to somehow calm her down. Then a stuttering couple of steps back as he hits hard against the cupboard when she launches her fists into his chest. 

Before he can even process what just happened, before he can register the throbbing on the back of his skull, she’s running at him. Hands high in the air that collapse down on him with intense ferocity. She grunts as she hits him in the chest, the shoulders, the neck, the face. Hitting him where Wally had, sending the right part of his head exploding in pain as she does so. 

“Ma! Ma! Stop! Please!” He begs her as he is backed into a corner. Holding his hands up to try and deflect the blows. Is it blood or tears that drip down his face? Each time he manages to grapple her by the wrists, his hope and her hands slips through his fingers, impounding him with another barrage of bawled fists. Then suddenly, the sound of fist meeting flesh stops and it’s just him breathing hard waiting for the next punch and slap. 

He opens his eyes and Ellen is just staring at him. Her eyes are so wide he can see the whites of them clear as light.

“Get out,”

“What?”

“Get out,” She whispers. But before he can even will his body to move, she holds his face, fingers grazing against his cheeks and it takes every effort for Butch to not pull himself away from her. He’s so much taller than her, so much bigger too. Paul once told him he could easily defend himself, but is he supposed to do? Hit is mom? She has to extend her arms straight in order to reach him, yet he doesn’t dare move. He can’t. She stares at him intently, as if she’s searching for something. Then her eyes return to their dull haze and she lets him go. He breathes a sigh of relief, the space where her fingers were against his cheek feels cold. 

“Get the fuck out, Butch,” She lets out a weary breath, then after a moment of silence she’s got her back to him and stumbles into her room. The hissing of the door closing is the last thing he hears as her steps dwindle into nothingness. Likely her finally collapsing into bed.

He does what he’s told. Gladly. 

There’s a vent from the corridor that enters the Vault’s supply room. The very same room Ellen enters with someone from security after she’s slept with them in order to get another bottle. 

Butch isn’t quite what security is looking for, so he squeezes himself into the vent like his life depends on it and sneaks into the supply room. Pocketing a bottle of whiskey and whisking himself from the room as quickly as he had entered. 

The whiskey feels heavy in his hands. The inebriated fog already dulled his senses as he topples down the fluorescent lit corridor with the kind of fake confidence that makes him look like he belongs, so that not one soul will question the bottle in his hands - or the lateness for which he stubbornly stays awake. If anyone dared to, he fears he’ll wind up in another fight and it’s the last thing he wants. But he can’t trust himself to just walk away.

Nah, laziness and incompetence will do its job. Tonight he can drink himself blind and just try to forget about everything...

For a moment, all feels still in the Vault. As if Butch is the only waking soul inside of it. And he finds unsettlement at that imagery, of being alone with the silence. It feels like he’s been put inside a coffin and buried 12 deep under with a heart that still beats. 

Then reminding him he’s not alone in these catacombs. Comes a couple of steps walking down towards him.

Butch expects security, then the vain hope that maybe his mother had come looking for him. But instead Butch sees James O’Shea, the vault doctor sauntering down the corridor with his clipboard. Looking about as rough as him as he seems to be on his way back to his office. Until their eyes meet.

James stops as Butch approaches. And he quickly spots the whiskey and the bruises.

“Keep walking, Doc,” He hasn’t the energy to even try and feign niceness to the teacher’s pet dad. James and Butch had never really had a conversation, not since they were kids and James patched up his scraped knee that his stupid daughter gave him. Butch didn’t really like him all that much, not because of his daughter...Butch wasn’t really sure what it was that made the Doc rub Butch the wrong way. But it was there.

“Did you drink any of that or just pour it on yourself?” If Butch had been a little drunker, he might’ve taken that as an insult. But when Butch stops just before he rams through James, he sees the man is smiling politely at him. It catches him off guard. 

“C’mon son,” James says, tucking his clipboard under his arm and motioning to Butch to accompany him. “I can patch you up and you can sleep it off back at home,”

James goes to reach for his arm and it sets off alarm bells in his head. Home? Don’t have a home unlike you.

“Hey! Get off!” Butch yells, yanking his arms away so quickly that he loses hold of the whiskey. It goes spiralling to the floor, erupting in a loud crash as brown liquid bleeds all over the ground. 

“Well that’s just fucking great,”

James steps away. “I think that’s perhaps for the best. You don’t need to go putting anymore of that in your system,”

“What the fuck do you know about it?” Butch confronts, turning on James with the same look his mother gives him. “That’s your fucking fault!”

“It’s nobody’s fault, just an accident. And there might be a lot more unless you do as I suggest. You don’t want to be wandering the hallways until security catches you, Butch,” James tries to rationalise, and in that moment Butch hates rational thinking. He wants to hit something.

“You’re right about there being another accident,” He grumbles, lurching himself at James. 

He didn’t know why he did it. Just that every bone in his body was pushing him to assault James. Maybe to take his anger out the pacifistic doctor or to win a fight he knew he could win. Or thought he could win. With every intention of pressing James against the wall, Butch sees his world hurtle when instead his arm gets swung behind his back; his face coming at great impact with the wall that he swears one his teeth chipped. And lastly, something sharp presses into his ribcage, threatening to draw blood…

Butch doesn’t move, doesn’t so much as breath as he hears James’s teeth grind behind him; the man prods him further with the sharp object. “This yours?” He asks, voice burning in such a fury it could have drawn fire. And Butch realises the sharp thing sticking into his side is his ‘toothpick’.

Had he even attempted to get that out?! Or did James take it before he could?

He quickly nods, words being the last thing he could muster in this moment through his whimpering as his childhood rival’s dad, the kind soft doctor of Vault 101, has him pinned against the wall threatening to stab him with a knife. How could he even move that fast? Butch never even saw him coming. The guy had to be at least forty, with rickety bones that creaked. Butch thought it must have been the whiskey dulling his own reflexes. But he knew better...the doc had some tricks up his sleeve and he realised it too late.

“Considering you and my daughter are more often and not at each other’s throats you’ll forgive me if I take this,” James says, relinquishing the blade from Butch’s side. Followed by the sound of him putting it in his lab coat pocket. Keeping a firm hold on Butch’s arm till it was on the verge of its breaking point. Applying just enough pressure here and there that it makes Butch’s bone feel like it will snap and pierce his skin. 

“Now, just what was your plan then? Mr Deloria?” He says, taunting him. Pressing his weight into him harder that it feels like he’ll be crushed between him and the wall. 

Butch’s heart feels like it is going to burst from his chest. Is he going to break my arm? He’d know exactly how to do it, being a doctor and all. “N-Nothing,”

“Nothing? It didn’t look like nothing. It seemed like you were trying to assert some dominance you think you have,” James starts, talking loudly in Butch’s right ear. “Throwing your weight around like some playground bully. Well, I won’t be pushed around, Butch. And if you ever try something like this with me again, or I find out you used this switchblade on Gwen, I’ll do much worse than break your arm do you understand?”

Butch nods.

“Good,”

James finally releases his hold on Butch, and not another second does Butch quickly bring his hand to his face. Trying to hide himself.

“I didn’t touch your face will you-...Butch?”

Butch doesn’t turn around, just presses his forehead to the wall as the tears flow freely again. He really was a mess, getting into fight after fight. With Wally, with his mom, now with the Doc. Whether it was all the bruising on his body, the high from the danger of a knife being pressed against him or just the alcohol yanking all his woes out of him like stabbing a water bottle. Butch can’t stop the tears that fall freely. No matter how hard he tries to bite the inside of his cheeks till they bleed, or how he slightly digs his nail deliberately into the bruise on his eye. Any kind of sensation that might distract him from crying is all for nought as sobs wracked his body.

He can feel James standing there. Unsure of what to do, unsure to touch him or not. After that debacle, Butch might just headbutt him if he tried. And yet, he feels a hand press on his shoulder, as if to stop his back from heaving as he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Butch tenses at this, like his whole body has suddenly been strung up.

“Does the clinic still sound like such a bad idea?” James suggests.

Butch breathes in a shaky, hot breath. He just wanted him to go away. “The hell’ you talking about? I don’t want anything from you,” 

“You can either look like this in the hallway, Butch. Or you can come with me to the clinic before anyone else sees,” He explains calmly and so matter-of-factly. Knowing fully well what Butch was going to do before Butch even did. 

At this, Butch thinks about the fact that the man basically offering him sanctuary was the same who had just held a knife to his ribcage a minute ago. Which causes Butch’s tempation to storm down the hallway flare up like a rash. Hell, he was tempted to try and start another fight with him again, if his whole body didn’t feel like it was on the verge of collapsing. God, he was so tired, he just wanted to lay down. But storm off where? He couldn’t go home, and he couldn’t sleep in the Vault’s hallways. He’d just get shooed off by security like an unwanted cat, or hauled into a cell till morning. And James had his blade, not that he probably needed it to deck Butch anyway, but he did want it back. Plus, he obviously knew he was crying, and what little dignity Butch had urged him to go somehwere private until the wrong person saw Butch Deloria bawling his eyes out. Last thing he needed was Officer Gomez spotting him. So he nods slowly at James with puffy red eyes. The clinic at least had beds and the two men headed further down the hallway. Out of sight as they duck into the doc’s clinic. 

He half expected to see nosebleed in the clinic; waiting patiently for daddy-dearest to clock into the clinic so they could go home or whatever. But he was grateful that Gwen was nowhere to be found. The clinic was quiet and - was it always this white? - with the medicinal aroma of antiseptic. 

“Sit on the bed,” James doesn’t even look at him as he heads over to a set of drawers. Pulling out some equipment. Butch does as he’s told and heads over to one of the clinic beds, sitting on the end and tugging on the sleeve of his Tunnel Snake’s jacket.

Silence except for the doc’s rummaging through a metal drawer. Butch thinks this silence will suffocate him; feels it on his skin like a weight. Why was the doc helping him? Did he think he made Butch cry? The fucking gall if he did. Been through enough shit that I don’t cry at, ain’t about to let some doctor bring the water works. I can’t believe he thinks he’s that important to make Butch Deloria cry. Pull yourself together.

James comes back with a blue cloth, some bottles and some wipes. 

“I can’t do much for the bruising,” He begins, handing Butch what appears to be an ice pack wrapped in fabric. “But I can at least clean the split lip. Though that whiskey of yours might’ve numbed it enough already,”

“Cool,” Butch mumbles under his breath. What was he supposed to say?

When James leans in to dab his lip with the cloth, Butch looks away so they’re not looking at each other; unable to stand that calm, almost stoic expression on the doc’s face. He should be angry, why wasn’t he angry?

“Why are you helping me?” The question had to be asked. What was the doc after with this special behaviour? He’d done absolutely nothing to warrant it, and if he had his way beforehand, he’d be sending the doctor into the clinic on a stretcher.

James breathes a sigh through his nose. Like he was trying with all of his might to remain composed.“Because I am a doctor,” Telling himself his duty was more important than knocking some sense into a dumb kid.

“Oh yeah? Do doctors normally learn how to move like that?” He counters, looking at him now. It was still unbelievable to him how fast this old bag moved. “I want my toothpick back by the way,”

“You’re drunk and much younger than me, Butch. Is it so surprising I was able to subdue you?” 

Butch winces as his lip stings from all the contact. “Where’s my toothpick?” He asks again.

James rolls his eyes. “Evading the question, spectacular way to try and save your ego. And you’re not getting it back,”

Butch flinches away from the doc’s fingers, looking outraged. James didn’t seem bothered, done with padding his lip anyway as he sets the cloth back down.

“You can’t just take it, it ain’t yours old man!”

“Oh? Do you want to try and win it back from this old man?” James stops sorting his equipment. Looking Butch dead in the eye with an unreadable face; he was still - almost frozen - so suddenly unmoving that it felt like if Butch so much as breathed wrong the doctor would spring to life and knock him down.

He again diverts his gaze away from the man muttering a grumbling “Whatever,” Until suddenly James begins to chuckle aloud. Catching him off guard. “What’s so funny?”

“I sometimes forget you're just a kid,” He says and it’s like he is seeing Butch for the first time ever. And he looks utterly conflicted. “That your not the single greatest evil my daughter has to face; just some poor kid covered in bruises and trying not to cry in the hallway,”

“Is that meant to be funny? You find that funny, doc?”

“No, Butch. I don’t find it funny at all, it's downright tragic is what it is. You’re obviously struggling and yet no one pays attention. Your behaviour is an obvious cry for help and yet everyone leaves you to be security’s problem. And it builds up till your bumbling down the hall drunk and afraid,” James’s smile falters, dying on his lips as he gives Butch a sympathetic look that makes him tense up. “I’m sorry for hurting you,”

“I mean, I probably would have kicked the shit out of you,” Butch rationalises. 

“Maybe, but I shouldn’t have leaned into you so hard,” Butch holds his breath when James goes to continue. “If I told you to go home right now, where would you go?”

It was an odd question, but Butch decides to answer it honestly. “Probably walk around till Officer Gomez or one of his lackeys pulled me into one of the holding cells,” His voice sounded so frail, so fragile. Hardly above a whisper.

“Not home to your mother?”

Butch raises the ice pack to his eye. “No,”

Processing his words in his head, Butch can imagine what is going on his head as his eyes look over the bruises, the cuts and red eyes. Tying his inability to go home like he was tracing red string on a conspiracy board. 

“Butch, did your mother give you those bruises?”

He should have expected that question but still his heart rate spikes. Mind floundering in a shallow sea of excuses and explanations; yes and no? Only a few of them? But I deserved it, I came home late and she was worried sick. She was teaching me to be more punctual, to not take her for granted? But will I ever learn? No, so I get hit again and again. Because nothing gets through this thick skull of mine. I’m the thing from a poor marriage she can’t get rid of, I’d beat me too.

Beatings at home, can’t even escape ‘em when I’m with the Tunnel Snakes...or in a cell.

“Come here, son,” 

That did it. That three lettered word pulls the plug on his dam of tears and Butch can’t find the strength to pry James from him as the man envelops him into a half hug. His arm around his shoulders like a cloak as Butch holds his wet face in his hand. 

It didn’t make Butch want to crawl out of his skin when James held him. Rubbing circles into his back as he just remained present while Butch shamelessley cried. Once, Susie Mack had tried to pull him into a hug during their school graduation; it was like she was covered in muck. He couldn’t think of anything possibly worse than remaining in that embrace for much longer. Even when Paul - poor Paul - tried to grasp his shoulder after a rough day, Butch shrugged him off. Afraid the guy would break into a million pieces if he held onto Butch - a bull in a china shop - for much longer. Even touches that meant no harm or violence felt like the first inch of a bawled knuckle right before it knocks you off your feet. 

But with James...Butch couldn’t deny it was exactly how he imagined as a kid his father holding him in childhood fantasies of his dad coming back to the Vault. It felt safe. For the first time in the Vault, Butch felt fucking safe.

“If you ever need a break, or just someone to patch you up. My clinic is always open,”

“Thanks,” Butch sniffs….

--------

“That sounds like him,” Gwen says. Wiping her cheeks free of tears. Not for long, as more replace them as she looks at Butch fondly. “God, it really does,”

Butch smiles, tracing circles on her knuckles. “Course, now I know where the hell he got those moves from. Your old man must have been quite the scrapper when he was out here,” He comments, looking out briefly to the scene of the Wasteland - coming up with made up scenarios James O’Shea must have found himself in. The pacifistic doctor; an unscrupulous Wasteland mercenary hauling out the drunks from the Muddy Rudder and punching slavers - before returning to Gwen. “He was a good man, Gwen. He had a good life, and he helped those around him. He’s not gonna be forgotten,”

Gwen nods. “Yeah, you’re right,”

He looks at Gwen who stares off sadly towards the shallow grave he helped her dig. Putting in her dad’s lab coat - all that was left of James O’Shea - in place of a corpse. A small, wooden cross sticking out from the earth to mark the gravesite. He looks at the girl he loves - but is too much of an unworthy coward to admit that to - and sees the same compassion, the same empathy her dad had in her eyes. A girl who just wanted to make things better.

And like both O’Shea’s, he felt better off for having them in his life.

“Time to finish what he started?” Butch asks, his grip on her hand tightening. Not wanting to let it go anytime soon.

Gwen asserts a look of pure, burning determination. Like she has slipped on a mask. 

“Yeah, let’s finish what my dad started, together,”

[r6shippingdelivery]

I saw someone on Twitter post about how they wanted to see jealous Glaz, and I was struck by inspiration 😄 This fic is mostly about Glaz's perception of his place in Rainbow after Kali joins, and the bit with Fuze can be read as friendship or budding romance, whatever your like better.

WARNING: While Glaz is an unreliable narrator here, and Kali is not outright demonized, I haven't been kind to her either. So if she's your favorite character, proceed with caution.

You can also read the story in AO3, as the latest chapter of the Discord Ficlets collection.

Hatred was a shallow emotion, one that lived at surface level and hid deeper and more complex feelings, ones that people found harder to confront or admit and thus resorted to hate.

Glaz experienced that during his stint in the South Ossetia War, when the hatred they all felt for the enemy was just a cover for their sense of helplessness at stopping so much unnecessary death. As always, art became a way to express and work out his emotions, and from what he saw it was far healthier than drowning his sorrows in alcohol like most of his fellow soldiers did.

Over the years, Glaz had acquired a reputation for being a pretty stable person, not letting his emotions rule him but not burying and ignoring them either. So it was a shock to realise he was letting his emotions rule his opinion of a certain person.

It would be unfair to say he hated Kali. The Nighthaven leader had done nothing directly unpleasant to him, in fact Glaz wasn’t even sure if they ever had a conversation. But fuck, seeing her smug face made his blood boil. Admitting he was jealous was a bitter pill to swallow.

Glaz felt sidelined since she arrived. At first it had been normal that Kali got so much action in training matches and different situations, Harry always did that to ensure new additions got properly integrated in the team. However, Kali stopped being the new one and she kept being requested more and more often. If someone devised a plan that required a sniper, it was always her that got the call, almost never Glaz.

Sure, she was an excellent shot, but so was he. So were the other operators who had marksman training. Yet the only requested sniper was Kali. Even for the strategies that relied heavily on stealth, which made no sense to Glaz since Kali’s rifle was extremely loud and she refused to use a silencer. She insisted it wasn’t compatible with her weapon, which was utter bullshit in Glaz’s opinion. Then there were the snippets of conversations he heard from her in the shooting range.

“Of course I don’t use a thermal scope, that’s a crutch, and those are for beginners, not professionals.”

“I don’t hide behind smoke curtains like a child clinging to their mother’s skirts.”

“I could give you some pointers, you’d benefit by learning from a real sniper, Dokka.”

The gall of that woman! Glaz had never wanted to wipe the floor with someone as much as he did then, but when he approached them to offer a friendly marksman competition, Dokkaebi happily accepted while Kali sniffed and declined. “I’m busy now, maybe another time.”

Glaz silently fumed for days. He didn’t give a damn about Kali’s opinions; he knew he was an excellent sniper and she could make as many snide comments as she wanted. Nothing would change the truth. However, Glaz also had the feeling she was trying to undermine him, and he didn’t like that. Most operators in Rainbow were competitive by nature, but except for a few rivalries, the trash talking had always remained upfront and somewhat respectful, never behind another operator’s back. Things remained as they were, somewhat tense but peaceful, for a long time. Until the Invitational rolled around.

When the teams were publicly announced, the Spetsnaz were collectively surprised some of them were chosen to participate, unlike the previous year. Glaz didn’t mind sitting among the public again, and privately he and Kapkan made a point of keeping an eye out during the event. The White Masks might have been mostly obliterated, but they weren’t the only terrorist group in the world, and a huge gathering like this would be a tempting objective for any group looking to make a name for themselves. So he was fine with not being selected, truly. However, what he wasn’t fine with was the way Harry said one particular thing:

“And to showcase Rainbow’s prowess in long distance combat, team Ash will have our resident sniper, Kali.”

Seriously? The resident sniper, as in the only one? Glaz grit his teeth so hard he was sure everyone in the room could hear it. He refused to say anything, though, he wouldn’t turn this briefing into a spectacle. However, that didn’t stop him from hoping Tachanka would teach her a lesson with his new fire grenades. That would certainly put a smile on Glaz’s face.

Alas, that was not meant to happen, even if it came pretty close to actually becoming a reality. In the end, Tachanka’s team was eliminated, same as Fuze’s, and the tournament went on. Glaz thought nothing else would happen, and aside from secretly hoping for team Mira to win, he largely lost interest in the competition. Yet the competition, or more accurately, Kali, didn’t lose interest in them.

When Fuze told them he’d been invited to train with Nighthaven, none of the Spetsnaz was particularly pleased, since they worked better as a team, but they didn’t voice any objections either. Glaz wanted to, he wanted to forbid Fuze from doing it, but he was a rational man and knew that was both unreasonable and a douchebag move. If Fuze wanted to train with others, he was free to do so, of course. Glaz kept repeating that to himself, even if deep down he was sure that Kali woman wanted to take everything that he had, from his position as a sniper to his friends.

Aware of how childish that sounded, Glaz grimaced at his own thoughts. He needed to calm his mind, and as always, he turned to art. Painting would surely grant him that state of inner peace he sorely needed while waiting for Fuze to come back from his session with Nighthaven. Losing himself in the process of creating something always helped Glaz exorcise his demons, and also lose track of the world around him. At least until Fuze came back.

Most people painted Fuze as unreadable, but he wasn’t to Glaz. The artist could see clear as day that Fuze was deep in thought. The curiosity and need to know was eating Glaz inside.

“How did it go?” He asked, aiming for a casual and carefree tone. He wasn’t sure he succeeded.

“Interesting.” As always, Fuze was succinct and straight to the point, going for the shortest message. However, Glaz knew that if one took the time to shut up and listen, Fuze would say more. “They’re an effective team, very competitive. It’s good to have them working with us and not against us, but I don’t think they feel part of Rainbow.”

It wasn’t the first time Glaz heard before some of those sentiments echoed around when it came to Nighthaven, but Fuze delivered with an admirable lack of judgement. The Uzbek relayed a blow by blow account of the training match, and Glaz wondered how Aruni felt at Kali’s call of her safety being expendable. It was just a game for now, but training built habits that one carried back to the battlefield. He was still pondering over what he heard when Fuze dropped a bombshell that shook him to the core.

“Kali offered me work in Nighthaven.”

Glaz saw red, and for a moment he couldn’t think. The looks in his eyes must have been a veritable maelstrom of repressed anger and jealousy, because Fuze looked taken aback. A burning sensation coiled in his chest, and Glaz clenched his fist hard to avoid unleashing a storm of swears, since Fuze wasn’t the target of his fury.

*crack*

The paint brush he’d been holding broke under the pressure of his clenched hand, but Glaz didn’t notice, and clenched his fist even tighter.

“Timur!”

It was Fuze calling out his name that finally brought Glaz down to earth, away from the dark spiral of what ifs where Fuze left the team, lured away by Kali. He opened his hands, revealing the brush he accidentally snapped in half, and how the jagged edge of the broken wood had sunk into his palm. Oh. He hadn’t even noticed that.

Glaz briefly mourned the loss of his favorite small brush, dropping the pieces aside and wiping the blood from his palm carelessly. “And? Did you accept?”

Fuze regarded him in silence for a few seconds, before shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe Glaz’s foolishness. “Of course not. I have my team. And I’m not going anywhere.” This assurance was a balm for Glaz’s turmoil, but then Fuze added with a smirk. “Besides, I know you always have my back and won’t put a bullet in me, not even a fake one.”

The laugh and lingering look they shared made Glaz feel that all was right in the world, at least for a little while. He knew he could always count on his team, on his friends, and having this belief reaffirmed soothed him like nothing else did. It had been foolish to think Fuze would leave him.

[thefirstknife]

What are your thoughts regarding Myelin Games' theory about Sagira's message to Ikora being supporting evidence for the Nosiris theory?

This is Myelin's video!

So, his main position here in regards to Sagira is that Sagira's message to Osiris is basicaly a fake message and that Savathun wrote it to coerce Ikora into giving Osiris a high ranking position within the Tower. This does seem to fit Savathun's general operating scheme, but Myelin doesn't really explain his argument for this besides "Savathun would do this."

He basically doesn't list any arguments for why he thinks the message might be fake, besides saying he's not sure how Sagira managed to write the message seconds before her death. I don't think that works as an explanation because Ghosts are highly complex beings who can process vast amounts of data at incredible speeds. In D1, Ghost reads the entirety of Toland's Journal in 2 seconds. Link here (1 minute, 41 seconds).

He reads the message Sagira left, but he doesn't analyse it other than to assert that the message and Sagira's death are a perfect cover for Osiris to be given the position of Zavala's advisor. And I agree! Sagira's death really is the perfect cover for Savathun to pose as Osiris in the Tower and have the excuse to pour over Vanguard records about the Light, Ghosts and other things.

But let's look at the message:

But before that, Osiris had handed her a message. One he couldn't bear to read, which was just as well because it contained, amongst other things, an all-caps indictment:

HE IS NOT AS STRONG AS HE THINKS.

Ikora had smiled upon reading that. Even in death, Sagira couldn't resist taking her Guardian down a peg or two. The rest of the message was not as amusing.

I know you know that, Ikora. But I'm telling you here because he will try to strong-arm you and everyone else into leaving him alone. Please don't let him. Without me there to harass him into asking for help, I don't know what he will do. Something self-destructive is my guess.

You're the same that way: you've got hungry minds. Needing constant challenges to occupy you. My death is one of those puzzles that cannot be solved. He'll try though. He'll try until he burns out completely… only this time, I won't be there to sweep up the ashes.

We don't have evidence either way, but Sagira definitely was able to write this before dying, that much is certainly established. Now, is this the writing of Sagira or a fake written by Savathun?

I believe that, from what we've seen so far, Savathun has not really been very good at properly impersonating Osiris. I don't think she would be able to properly impersonate Sagira either and this message does not read to me as Savathun's writing. It has all the hallmarks of Sagira's way of treating Osiris: she cares about him a lot, but she is honest about his self-destructive and obsessive tendencies. Ikora even makes a remark about it.

Now, is it possible that Savathun has read the message and maybe even tampered with it? It certainly is. I can't fully prove that this message is legitimate and that Savathun wasn't involved. I also believe that doesn't mean it directly proves the opposite.

I definitely believe that Sagira's death was fully planned and counted on by Savathun (perhaps even with Xivu's involvement; after all, Xivu owes Savathun for being given Torobatl). Her death set everything in motion and made the whole scheme of swapping real Osiris out possible. It also allowed Savathun to be as out of character as possible because, hey. The man is in grief. He may not be fully himself. And it worked. People were reluctant to question "Osiris" and confront him due to this, which allowed Savathun to last as long as she did.

Personally, I believe that Sagira's final message is legitimate and that it was simply co-opted by Savathun who found it to be very convenient for her plans. Kind of an unfortunate sequence of events, but also in a way, perfectly planned. Savathun may have counted on Sagira writing a message that would prompt Osiris' loved ones to do exactly what they did.

Other than that, Myelin's video is pretty good for a 20 minute breakdown of the theory. I'd go way more in-depth about certain other points instead of focusing on Sagira's letter tho. I'm also quite agitated that, while he did mention the Boots of the Assembler lore, he did not mention anything about Osiris' and Saint's relationship. He only remarked that Osiris "acts cold" to Saint. We also still have no proper analysis of Immolant. Lore youtubers stop ignoring Osiris' and Saint's relationship challenge.

But you know what they say: if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Meta – Wanda & Vision Having Children Naturally: Pregnancy, Medical Complications, & Caring for the Twins

[ Trigger Warnings: Heavy medical and hospital themes having to do with pregnancy and babies ahead! ]

This meta contains all my headcanons for Wanda getting pregnant naturally by Vision, what that means for her pregnancy and health, and what raising real, half-human, half-synthezoid children is like. I’d like to have some threads with Wanda and Vision regarding the twins if possible, so I’m getting everything written down here for reference purposes. If you have any questions or comments about anything in here, let me know!

POTENTIAL AUS IN WHICH THIS COULD HAPPEN

Without Vision – Wanda has Vision’s twins, but he remains dead. Either he’s harvested and repurposed into a weapon by SWORD as he was in WandaVision, or Wanda is able to reclaim his body for burial, but he remains dead and Wanda, at least for now, is a single mother. I would be willing to write this AU either as Wanda or as another character relating to Wanda if someone else wants to write her.

With Dad!Vision – Vision’s body is taken by SWORD, but either in the early stages of her pregnancy or after the twins are born, she confronts Hayward as she did in WandaVision. Except this time, instead of leaving after she determines that she can no longer feel him, Wanda has an emotional burst of magic (like she did when she created the Hex) that, instead of creating a temporary new Vision, infuses Vision’s original body with the energy from the mind stone that she’s been storing inside her. This essentially restores Vision’s soul, memories, and personality. All that remains is to reassemble him. In an AU where Tony Stark survives Endgame, he could help Dr. Cho not only reassemble him but also restore his organic content as well, which would otherwise have rotted away during the five years he was dead. Or… a huge fudge could be done and we could just say that Wanda reassembles him and restores his organic content herself as part of her emotional magical outburst. Vision would then be restored to Infinity War status, as himself, with all his memories and emotional capacity intact. He can then help Wanda raise their twins and would likely ask her to marry him, which he was planning on doing before everything went to hell in a handbasket in Infinity War anyway. I would be willing to write this AU as either Wanda or Vision.

PREGNANCY AND BIRTH: SPECIES INCOMPATIBILITY AND LIFE-THREATNING MEDICAL COMPLICATIONS

I tend to get very detailed and realistic when I flesh out topics like this, so I didn’t just want to gloss over things and say that Wanda has a normal pregnancy. She really shouldn’t. Even if Vision is capable of reproduction (which my version of him is) and conception can occur, there are a lot of issues with Wanda carrying partially-synthezoidal children. Their genetics would be combined, and as such, their physiologies would be a blend of human and synthezoid. What does that mean for them as far as their health, appearance, and capabilities? I’ll get to that later. But first… what effect does this have on Wanda’s health as the pregnancy progresses?

Early on, the pregnancy is fairly normal, or at least there isn’t enough wrong to set off any warning bells with regard to her health. But as it progresses, Wanda will start to experience metal toxicity and vitamin deficiency symptoms. She’ll have balance problems, she might slur her words at times, she feels weak, shaky, and has fainting spells. Her skin will also become very pale, almost translucent. This occurs because most of the vibranium atoms that were contained in Vision’s… donation to Wanda, eh-hem… have already been incorporated into the twins’ bodies, and now they need more. In the absence of more vibranium, they start to compromise by drawing away other vitamins and minerals from Wanda’s body. Whatever vibranium atoms were not incorporated into the twins ended up in Wanda’s blood and organs, causing her various potentially life-threatening side effects.

The result is that neither mother nor babies are doing very well, but by this point (probably at around three months in), Wanda’s health would be noticeably bad enough for her to get help or for anyone who sees her to reach out to get her medical assistance. Eventually she will be placed under Dr. Cho’s care. Why? Well it was her technology that created Vision’s physical body, and aside from Tony, she’s the one who would know the most about what might be required by offspring of someone with such a body. Tests will need to be done on Wanda and on each of her babies to determine what is going on in their blood, which would then give a clearer picture of what was wrong, missing, etc.

Basically, it is determined that the twins need an influx of free vibranium atoms to incorporate into their bodies as they grow. They also need a specialized panel of vitamins and minerals to grow properly. Wanda, on the other hand, needs the normal human amounts of certain vitamins and minerals for herself, but then also needs to be protected from vibranium toxicity and unwanted substances ending up in her blood. Wanda lives where Dr. Cho’s laboratory is located, and is mostly told to rest as much as possible. The less she stresses her system, the better. Twice a week, her blood needs to be cleaned of any toxic substances via a filtration process not unlike dialysis. She’s placed on a strict diet as well. Ports are carefully placed for each twin that allow for vibranium atoms and essential nutrients to be directly injected into the babies.

Because this is an extremely delicate and precarious procedure to place the ports without disrupting Wanda’s pregnancy or harming the babies, she’s basically bedridden to limit the potential for tears and other injuries. Very quickly, Wanda is forced to confront and overcome her fears of doctors, labs, and needles, which is a daunting task for her. The only thing that gets her through it is the very real knowledge that the pregnancy might fail without this intervention. At this point, Vision would likely still be dead in either AU, and so Wanda views her babies as the last living parts of Vision. She’s willing to do anything, no matter how painful or frightening, to carry her twins to term.

At around 7 ½ months, however… things begin to look grim. Despite the blood filtration processes and other attempts to keep Wanda as healthy as possible, her health begins to decline again. The stress and strain of carrying two unique babies whose genetics and biochemistry are partially incompatible with her own begins to take its toll. Dr. Cho and likely Clint or anyone else who’s been frequently caring for or staying with Wanda eventually need to have a very difficult conversation with her. If she continues with the pregnancy, there’s still a chance it might fail early, but the longer she can hold out, the better chance her babies will have of surviving after they’re born. However, the longer she holds out, the greater chance that life-threatening complications will occur, such as more seizures, strokes, and toxicity conditions. In short, she’s told that she could deliver the twins early and survive, but because the twins are unique beings, there is no guarantee that they will have developed enough to survive at this point… or… she continues to carry them, and she may lose her life. Wanda chooses to continue, because she’s willing to die to give her twins the best chance they can possibly have.

Wanda is able to make it to 8 ½ months before something changes and her health declines rapidly. When she loses consciousness, the decision is made to deliver the twins by C-section. Once that’s done, Wanda is stabilized, and a potential tragedy is averted.

CARING FOR INFANT TWINS

The twins are kept on much the same supplements of vibranium, nutrients, and other minerals as they were in the womb. A powder is basically custom-designed for Wanda that she can mix into their milk. In addition to breastfeeding them, once a day she bottle feeds them milk containing the dissolved vitamin supplement. This ensures the twins have what their bodies need to grow properly. Otherwise, they’re normal, happy, healthy babies that mostly appear human to those who don’t know their unique genetics.

At only a couple months old, however, Wanda begins to notice a few interesting things about her sons, and the reasons why they required vibranium atoms begins to become apparent. Occasionally while dressing or changing them, Wanda notices patches on their bodies that look just like Vision’s “skin.” They’re red, they’re textured, sometimes they’re hard, and at other times they’re soft. The patches don’t remain, but rather they come and go, seemingly at random. At times, Wanda even catches it happening in real time, seeing their skin ripple and change, just like Vision’s did when he was employing his human disguise. The curious thing though, is that the twins are not synthezoids, but neither are they human. Their genetic code, their blood lab results, and various other statistics come back inconclusive, anomalous, or otherwise different than normal humans. They are their own unique beings, a hybrid species.

As the twins grow and become more mobile, crawling around and such, Wanda notices that sometimes the synthezoid skin would appear as a result of impact trauma. In other words, if Tommy hit Billy while careless flailing his pudgy little infant arms, that area of Billy’s skin would ripple and form hard synthezoid skin which is stiff to the touch, like armor. Or if Tommy crawls around and bumps his head on something, the same would happen where he was hit. It’s almost as if it’s part of some kind of defense response in their bodies to armor-up if they’re being injured.

CARING FOR OLDER TWINS

Once they’re older and eating solid foods, their supplements are still mixed in once a day with whatever they’re eating. The older they get, the more the twins are able to control the transformation of their skin at will instead of it just being a passive physiological response. Billy takes after Wanda with regard to his powers, and Tommy resembles Pietro’s with his, but there are indications of Vision’s abilities in them as well. Billy is able to control his density to some extent, and Tommy’s eyes have extra lenses and extended irises that allow him to adjust his vision to better see in the dark, and while moving at high speeds. He can also see a much wider spectrum of light than humans can. Billy tends to take after Vision more in personality, being more introspective, gentler, and being a sponge for information. Tommy takes more after Wanda or even Pietro (which, Wanda would inherit a lot of genetics similar to Pietro’s with them being twins, so that makes sense), being more impulsive, a prankster, and quicker to anger.

In an AU without Vision present, as they grow and develop these abilities, they begin to ask Wanda a lot of questions about the things they can do and parts of them that aren’t like her. Wanda waits until they’re at an age to understand well enough before she tells them about their father. She’s able to find video footage of Vision to show them, and she explains as much as possible about who and what he was. Above all, she makes it very clear that he would have loved them both so much. Billy is very curious about Vision and will sit with a tablet and look up information about him all on his own. Tommy… is a bit more defensive and doesn’t like to think about Vision, because it makes him sad and angry that he had to grow up without a father. The twins are very close, however, and sometimes he watches things with Billy when they’re alone.

In an AU with Vision present, he can teach them about the synthezoidal aspects of their bodies and abilities himself. He is the proudest, happiest, most hands-on and involved dad ever. He explains what he can, shows what he can’t explain, and otherwise tries to guide his sons as best he can�� in amongst loving on Wanda, of course. He becomes very much like Westview!Vision as far as personality, just happy and living the dream.

That’s all I’ve detailed for now, but if I think of more, I’ll add it here. Let me know your thoughts if you like! =)

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Steven Universe - How the show fails to handle emotion, irrationality, and trauma

I have a better understanding of why SU is the way it is now. Why it is very dramatic, and why the characters often act in ways that are entirely out of proportion

When making a critical post about the handling of Flame Princess in Adventure Time, /u/samhadj01 attributed part of the problem to be that Rebecca Sugar was responsible for Flame Princess’s conceptualizing, and wrote her and Finn the same way that she writes SU characters - in a heightened emotional state, where they are feeling the EXTREMES of their emotions at all times, yelling at the top of their voice when angry, crying their eyes out when sad, and hurting each other. The reddit user said this made it difficult for the writers to figure out where to take Flame Princess next.

I challenged this reddit post’s claim that Rebecca writing FP’s first episodes meant that the crew didn’t know what to do with her. There is a lot of oversight in the AT crew, and Rebecca was just one cog in the wheel, even if she was full of ideas that ended up getting used. If she came up with a bad idea it would be the responsibility of her colleagues to put it back on track, and I don’t even think FP’s initial portrayal is the problem - the issue is she was completely marginalized after the fact, and bizarrely rewritten to lose her early immaturity without there being enough progression into that new stage. Following this she was basically written out of the show, with the exception of when she’d be useful to show off another character’s development (Finn, PB, even Cinnamon Bun).  

WITH THAT BEING SAID, I thought Samhadj made a good point about SU.  

Rebecca Sugar always loved writing music into her stories because it was the purest form of expression. You can hear how much love she puts into her music. She wanted to create a show where she could really sell emotions, where she could fill it up with songs that the characters would sing to express themselves and their troubled feelings. She wanted all the characters to be expressive, emotional, angry. She wanted Steven to be a character that helps everyone else learn to deal with their emotions, much like how her brother Steven helped her, as she’s said before. 

The issue is that, in order to facilitate this, she would need to write characters who would BE in these conflicts, feel heightened emotions at all times. 

So Rebecca conceptualized the gem species. 

Even though they take the form of adults, the gems are incredibly stunted. They remain the same for thousands of years. They are not equipped to process emotional trauma, having lived in a society where you have to cover up all your flaws and feelings at the risk of being shattered.  The show follows several Crystal Gems who rebelled against this system, but still haven’t figured out what it means to be free from this systematic oppression. They’re trying to live peacefully, but they’re prisoners still, in their hearts. 

Steven is the catalyst for change that points out the things that upset them, and forces them to deal with their emotions. He acts as emotional support and encourages the crystal gems to grow.  Steven also has much growing up to do himself. He has to confront the truth about what it means to BE a crystal gem, to have inherited the gem of the person who started the revolution, and Steven over time learns how messed up everything is. He is overcome with the desire to fix it, while still learning about himself.  

Why is this sort of storytelling a problem?

For the characters to have heightened emotions all the time, it means they have to keep getting in conflicts that reveal these emotions. It is these conflicts that make the show feel overdramatic and edgy - how characters will lash out and hurt each other, all the time, because they had a bad day, or something reminded them of something that hurt them. 

More urgently, who they are lashing out against. While the Crystal Gems hurting each other in season 1 makes sense, it is when they start taking things out on Steven himself that things become straight up toxic. 

Steven has to bear the brunt of EVERYONE’s problems, AND his own. He chases after Pearl in “Rose’s Scabbard” and nearly falls to his death while she ignores him, he fights with Amethyst when she is insecure about Jasper, he has to deal with Ruby and Sapphire’s fighting. He has to deal with all the townies and their stupid conflicts as well, Lars and Sadie’s fighting, so on. And ON TOP OF ALL THIS, people are trying to kill him all the time!!!!! But he is getting absolutely no meaningful support, and this is obvious, because the show itself acknowledges this later on. 

You start to ask the question, is this even worth doing? The characters around Steven display incredible immaturity, and after a certain point, they stop feeling like heroes.  They feel like leeches who are taking advantage of a young boy. 

Things get RIDICULOUS in the final season. Even after the episodes where Amethyst acknowledged the shitty status quo of everyone leaning on him, Steven then has to deal with the emotional problems of the Diamonds themselves, who it turns out lashed out the entire GALAXY because they didn’t know how to talk about their feelings?! For millions of years?!?! To be turned around by one teenage boy, even after a revolution where many of their gems expressed why they were wrong???!!!  

I think it was these final episodes of Steven Universe that completely shattered any remaining suspension of disbelief about the diamonds.

I’m no alien to ancient, immortal characters in charge of millions demonstrating incredible immaturity. Look at Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. Marceline would lean closer to the Amethyst side of the spectrum where she lashes out against everyone, while PB would be on the Pearl or Diamonds side where she’d pretend to act all rational and coolheaded and then do something insanely bad like crash a wedding or manipulate children. Pretty yikes, even up to the finale.  However, the difference is that AT is a more lighthearted wacky show where immaturity can slide for jokes, and most of the issues these characters have are inward facing. They identify and work on their problems themselves, with some support but not much interference from outside. They also do NOT act crazy all the damn time, and have plenty of moments before, during, and after their development where they are fully supportive friends. I enjoyed learning more about these characters and their pasts, because the immaturity never broke my suspension of disbelief.

The DIAMONDS, on the other hand, never get any sort of character development. I was excited to learn more about their creation, and how they came to be these insanely powerful beings that controlled a fascist society where emotion is not allowed. Why is it this way? Why do they want to keep it like this?

We never find out. We just see Steven embarrassing White Diamond after she attempts to murder him, and then she immediately goes full 180 redemption. It makes no damn sense! 

Steven Universe Future attempts to address the issues with everyone Steven knows being emotionally dependent on him, but Future forgoes genuine themes about healing in favour of its edgy focus on how Steven has become “damaged”. 

I was shocked watching SU Future’s first few episodes. I was astounded that the show would deconstruct itself so thoroughly, and have Steven address the exact things that were on MY mind. He realised that he’d been used.

How ballsy is that for the show to have the protagonist literally tear it to pieces in the final few episodes? 

However, any hopes for Steven directly addressing these issues, communicating with his friends and HEALING were dashed about half way through, when he only kept escalating.  Steven got so outraged that he shattered Jasper, and attempted to kill White Diamond while also injuring himself. He started to see himself as a monster. He becomes a murderer. He turns into a kaiju at the end since that’s how his perception of himself is different.

I was really disappointed that the show had wasted its entire runtime to build this up. 

The emotion that Rebecca Sugar was trying to capture was Steven’s pain, anger, the disconnect he had with his friends.

Future did not spend ANY time in demonstrating that Steven’s friends were acknowledging his pain. In fact, quite the opposite - they kept dismissing all of his feelings about Ruby and Aquamarine, and Greg was revealed as The Literal Worst when he thought his perfectly normal conservative upbringing was way worse than Steven literally getting tortured by aliens every other day and having no friends or education.  When Steven has his breakdown, they all cROWD him and start yelling at him. They have absolutely no regard for Steven’s boundaries at all. It’s almost like Steven’s friends are P-zombies at this stage. 

I did not like how Steven was portrayed as a dangerous, out-of-control killer. It’s not just that he SAW himself as this - it’s literally what he was.  You can do bad things because of your trauma, but it won’t turn you into a monster. If you act like a monster, that is your responsibility. 

And then the series ends with the hug, but we do not see Steven’s actual healing process or reconnecting with his friends. We only get a brief goodbye episode. 

After watching Obsidian, I cannot help but compare these scenarios. Obsidian was about Marceline healing from her emotional trauma. It was still very much a part of her, but she was learning to recognise when it was damaging her life, and communicate with others about it. It’s about learning to accept your cracks.

If SU Future had been about dealing with trauma properly and healing, it could have been the best series on Cartoon Network, and fully redeemed the weaknesses of the original show. 

However, Rebecca and the SU crew decided to focus too much on Steven’s pain, and Future ended up exacerbating the issues of the show. 

[lovetorn]

sex [fratboy!harry]

harry styles x fem!reader

summary: sex by the 1975 but i changed it up - [bestfriend!fratboy!harry] warnings: swearing, angst words: 1.9k inspo: sex by the 1975 (obviously) a/n: a rollercoaster (and a little cliche)!! ahahah enjoy xx

“She’s got a boyfriend anyway, so I don't know why you keep trying,” Y/n said, peering over at him slightly before returning her focus back to the road in front of them, tired of the conversation at hand. Her best friend, Harry sighed loudly, his knuckles whitening with the hard grip he had on the steering wheel. The sky outside was painted pink and was slowly washing away into dark indigo. 

Y/n glanced at him in her peripheral and saw he was getting agitated with her, so she decided to hold her tongue. Turning fully to look out the window, Y/n tapped her fingers against her thighs, now eager to get back to your sorority and away from the moody boy next to her. The tension in the car pushed on her chest and it made Y/n feel like she couldn’t breathe properly. She sighed softly, trying her best not to catch Harry's attention. 

Once at a red light, Harry’s hands came up to his hair to fix the snapback that rested there, and Y/n had the sudden urge to watch him. It was something about his hands, or maybe it was his hair that made her stomach churn—or perhaps it was the butterflies that fluttered so hard it made her insides hurt. Y/n didn’t want to think about what her best friend could do to her if this was under different circumstances. 

“Have you been seeing that guy again?” Harry’s voice cut the silence, catching Y/n off guard. She thought that her brain was deceiving her when she heard his words. Flustered, she quickly looked at him, but soon saw his smug expression and decided against giving him what he wanted. 

“Not since Ethan’s party, I think,” She said, tilting her head to the side as she answered. The light changed to green when Y/n turned her body towards him, noticing the way his tongue traced the inside of his cheek. The car lurched forward as Harry met Y/n’s gaze, his eyebrows raising in amusement. Rolling her eyes, Y/n turned her knees to the car door, choosing to look at a dog and its owner instead before she huffed.

“I wouldn’t see him again anyway, he was a shitty kisser.” 

Harry hummed and nodded, clearly content with the answer. Y/n narrowed her eyes towards him as she raised an eyebrow; challenging his earlier demeanour. 

“And I suppose you haven’t seen her since then either, hmm?” Y/n’s voice was sharp but slightly teasing and Harry sighed in annoyance, his body becoming frigid. He stared at the road for a few moments before telling his prepared answer, “No, I haven’t actually.”

Y/n nodded, a snigger playing on her lips as she fished her phone from the middle console. Her heart hammered against her ribs when she pulled up a particularly scandalous photo one of Harry’s frat brothers had sent her 3 days ago.

As Harry turned into the street of Y/n’s sorority, she decided it was the best time to confront him. Holding her phone up to his face as he pulled in next to the curb, Y/n’s lip was between her teeth, awaiting his reaction. 

“Care to explain this then?” Harry had eyes like saucers as she pushed the phone further into his face. He threw his hands over his eyes and groaned loudly, “How do you have that? You can’t show anyone!” 

Y/n threw her hands up, “Harold! She’s got a boyfriend, do you know how bad this looks?” She said, locking her phone and placing it into her lap. 

“What are you doin’, H?” 

Harry leant his head against the steering wheel, “I don’t know.” Y/n sighed and looked back out to the street, shaking her head in the process. 

“Well, I’m going inside. So if you want to want to sulk here then go back to your house, you’re more than welcome to, or, you can come upstairs,” She said, hand on the door handle as she looked back at her best friend. Harry huffed and turned the car off before he opened the car door and slammed it closed. 

—

Harry laid on the crisp, white sheets of Y/n’s bed, lulling in and out of sleep out of utter boredom. Y/n had gone downstairs to collect their dinner from McDonald’s 15 minutes ago and Harry couldn’t be bothered to open the door and ask where she was. Upon arrival, Y/n was laughing with her friend, Kayley whose room was next door to her own. The two girls joked about the fact that Harry was in her room, again, which caused Y/n to roll her eyes playfully, “Shut it!”

Y/n opened her bedroom door, a paper bag with the UberEats logo on the front in her hand and Harry’s eyes lit up as he jumped from the sheets. Finally, he thought as she placed it on her desk. As he leapt up, Y/n pulled the bag away, eyes narrowed at the boy. 

“What are you doing?” She asked as she held the bag behind her back, out of Harry’s reach. His eyebrows furrowed and his head tilted, “Uh, ‘m hungry?” Y/n shook her head, she had to know.

“Not until you tell me what you did with her.” 

Harry stood dumbfounded, why would Y/n care so much? He only scoffed and grabbed his keys and phone 

“No.”

Y/n looked at the ceiling and shook her head again. Harry blinked at her, “Is there a problem with my answer?” He challenged, his eyebrow raised and tongue in his cheek. 

“I don’t understand why you can’t just tell me, Harry,” Said Y/n, her frustration increasing as she moved to block the door. Y/n crossed her arms over her chest, the food still in one hand. 

“Because, it really doesn’t matter to you, Y/n!” 

Y/n laughed. She laughed in his face and Harry couldn’t seem to wrap his head around why she cared so much. The number of times Y/n was shaking her head, Harry swore it would fall off. 

“It does matter to me, I’m your best friend,” She mumbled, “I’m just curious, Harry, in case something bad happens with her boyfriend.” and Harry sighed. His gaze fell to the floor, he didn’t really think about the consequences. 

“Have you had sex with her?” Y/n’s voice was barely there but Harry heard her. 

“No, we only make out, because she thinks sex would be cheating.” Y/n opened her mouth to counter the reasoning but decided against it, instead, she threw the bag of McDonald’s at Harry. He caught it in his arms, unsure of where to sit as the tension that built around them still hung. He chose the desk chair, pulling it out before he sat down. 

Y/n sat cross-legged on her duvet, her 6 pack of nuggets, medium chips, and large coke in front of her. Her eyes were downcast as they ate in silence. 

“Y/n...” Her head lifted quickly, meeting Harry’s gaze. His voice was soft and Y/n got nervous when his voice was that low. 

“Why do you actually care what I do with her?” There it was; the burning question on Harry’s tongue and the unanswerable question Y/n was wishing he wouldn’t ask. She was at a loss for words as her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. After a few moments, she sighed deeply. Harry was suspicious, but he had a hunch, and his entire body ached to hear her confession; it was the main reason he even started seeing the girl with the boyfriend… to get Y/n off his mind—surprise! 

“Do you want the truth? Even if it ruins us?” Y/n whispered, overwhelmed by her emotions and feelings and she couldn’t even express how fast her heart was beating. She regretted asking those questions as soon as they left her mouth. She’d ruined it all, and there was nothing she could do to get herself out now. 

Harry nodded his lips in a tight line. He’d been waiting for this moment for years. There were years of pent up feelings in his brain that he swore would explode at any given day—and maybe today was the day. 

Y/n couldn’t bring herself to say it. The stupid words that meant nothing and everything at the same time. The one thing her psychology course had taught her was that deliberate attempts to suppress thoughts often make them more likely to resurface, and that was exactly what was happening. She’d spent years pushing her feelings down, telling herself she wasn’t good enough for him, that she couldn’t satisfy him the way he needed, telling herself he wouldn’t love a girl like her. 

Harry could tell she needed time to gather her thoughts and decided it was best if he left the room for a moment. However, Y/n thought the worst as his hand landed on the door handle. 

“Where are you going?” Her voice shook tremendously and it scared Harry. 

“You look like you need time to collect yourself, is all.” Wrong choice of words Harold! He was dumb, stupid, and felt like a downright fucking idiot. Y/n nodded once as tears brimmed her eyes. 

“No! No, I didn’t mean it like that,” Harry panicked as he held his hands out cautiously. 

“I love you!” Y/n froze from the force of his voice and didn’t seem to acknowledge what he was actually saying. The room, more the house, fell silent. Harry stood frigid, his head spinning from his outburst, but more from the weight his words held. His breath caught in his throat as Y/n blinked at the floor. Wait, what? 

Her head snapped towards him, “What?”

Harry brought his hand to his hat and snatched it off his head and onto the floor. Y/n sat in confusion, what did the hat do to him? 

Realisation overcame her features as she stared at him, her mouth open slightly. Harry felt like he couldn’t breathe, why wasn’t she saying anything?

After a while, a smile broke out on her face, “You’re not just saying that?” He shook his head repeatedly, stalking toward the bed before he sat directly beside her and taking her clammy hands in his shaky ones. 

“I would never tease you like that.”

Y/n felt like she was floating, her head was light and her throat was closed with emotion. 

“I guess I like you too, loser,” She smiled, looking at their hands together. Harry inhaled sharply as his eyes were fixed on her lips. 

“Can I-” Y/n sensed his intentions and nodded softly, taking her hand from his and resting it on his cheek. It was the first time Y/n had seen him nervous since their senior formal when he was clasping the corsage on her wrist. The thought made her giddy as their noses brushed, the feeling making both their hearts skip. 

“But, what about her?” Y/n’s voice broke the sweet silent they revelled in. It was a long time coming, but they finally got their feelings in check and Y/n was worrying about some other girl he saw twice? Harry wanted to riot. 

“She’s got a boyfriend anyway,” He smirked before he placed his mouth on hers.

Feedback is always appreciated xx

[ohthethingswedoforlove]

How would your main 3 yandere oc react to Y/N getting a confession from someone else? Y/N was pull into a kiss and the person explains how much they like Y/N. Y/N looks shock at them but giggles like a dork. Y/N hugs the person and picks them up like a princess. Y/N accepted someone else's confession. "Y/N keeps giving small kisses to the other person and saying, "You are the only one to make me feel so...happy!"

I’m really sorry for basically taking 84 years to getting around to this ask! But we’re finally here, and we’re here with the boys having some… Interesting and bloody reactions to the realization that you might like someone else way more than you like them…

Warnings: yandere characters; kidnapping; mentions of manipulation; brief description of a panic attack; violence with mentions of broken bones; death; non-consensual drugging;

  Canden is not going to react in the way you might think he would. Mainly because Canden has no need for you to love him back, be it romantically or in just any other way, really. He loves you completely unconditionally. You could see him as a friend, as family, as a simple acquaintance or even just straight up as an annoyance whom you hate with everything you have. Honestly, you could kick him in the stomach and insult his very existence and he would simply thank you for your time. Which is a reaction no one else expect you is able to get from him. Canden, more than anything else in the world, just wants to see you happy. And if that means you have to be with someone else, so be it. He might even encourage it, especially if he sees that it makes you truly happy!

  But if you somehow think that this is actually not such a bad outcome for this situation, that it's even somewhat... Sweet, in its own strange way, then you haven't been paying attention. Canden loves you, but he has absolutely no sympathy, and much less respect, for your new partner. He already followed you around like a lost puppy beforehand, but now he has entered full guard dog mode.

  The poor soul who decided to confess to you is not going to able to catch a break from Canden. Well, sure, he's genuinely happy that you seem so content and in love, but it's like there's a bit of a disconnect between seeing you so happy and being able to associate that happiness to the person that's actively causing it. Because Canden doesn't trust them. At all.

  He's going to start following your partner around, always suspicious of what they are doing and of who they are doing it with. Who knows what they are planning? Who they are meeting behind your back? He swears, if he catches them doing something that could even just indirectly upset you, he doesn't even know what he's going to do with them. Actually, he knows. And it involves a lot of bones getting broken. They could just be casually hanging out their friends, just them and the boys being out on the town, and this dude is actually going to go apeshit as if he is the one getting cheated on. Even though no one is actually getting cheated on in this situation. What can I say? Canden's dumb, overly protective and jumps to conclusions faster than a professional Olympian long jumper.

  If by some miracle your partner still has all of their bones intact after a month of dating you, it's still not a pleasant time for them. Or for you, in that matter. Between Canden still being as attached to your hip as he was before you started dating your partner and how he keeps stalking you both, being just an overall (and actually dangerous) nuisance, it wouldn't come as a surprise if your partner simply... Can't handle it anymore. And starts asking to break up with you.

  Well, you could try to reason with Canden (or just straight up yell and berate him if you prefer), and while he will feel incredibly guilty for causing you such distress and unhappiness, he still doesn't quite seem to get that the problem stems from the fact that he needs to let your partner go. That he needs to stop acting like an actual guard dog.

  Your relationship is not going to last, I hate to say it. Mainly because Canden will not let up, even if things calm down for a bit if you do confront him. I have a feeling you won't even blame your partner for this, if you were in their shoes you probably would have left even earlier, but they did their best to try and stick around for as long as they did because they really do love you. For as hypocritical as this is going to sound, Canden is genuinely going to be just as heartbroken as you are once the relationship is over. You were so happy! They really just had to go and ruin everything, didn't they? He knew from the start that they were up to no good.

  I... Hope Canden doesn't ever find your ex-partner while out and about after this. Because, trust me on this one, the last time you spoke to them might just actually become the last time you will ever see them. And, honestly, I don't really want to describe the state that they'll will be left in by the time they get found the next day.

  When it comes to Tiago, well... His distain is going to be a lot more obvious and straightforward. Mainly because witnessing this love confession is going to leave him absolutely fucking livid. He doesn't understand. Where did he go wrong? How didn't he see this coming? How did this motherfucker manage to slip under his radar so easily?! How?! Tiago isn't going to stick around for false pleasantries, as he would normally do if this had happened to involve literally anyone else but you. He's out of there as soon as he manages to snap out of his rage induced stupor.

  He's not okay with this. He really isn't. And it's going to be plainly obvious that something's wrong with him. Blank gaze, limited attention span and some rather unpleasant bruises covering the fragile skin around his knuckles, suggesting that these had quite the few rude encounters with some really hard surfaces. He hates this. He hates that this is affecting him so much. He hates how exposed and fragile this makes him feel. He hates how much control you have over his emotions, even if indirectly. But, above everything else, he hates your new partner.

  He already thought he spent way too much time thinking about you, but if this jackass doesn't consume his every thought ever since he saw them confess to you... He wants it to stop. He wants them to stop. To shut up. To let go of you. To not look at him as if they're just as worried for his well-being as everyone else, claiming that any friend of yours is a friend of theirs. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. The only way Tiago would even want to look at them is while he's burying them in his backyard.

  For some time, Tiago will genuinely have no idea of what to do. He wants to keep living his life as per usual, he has to, but he finds himself nearly completely unable to function properly. He feels as if he's only able to concentrate on his anger and jealously, and literally nothing else. He can't stop thinking about you and your new partner. It's honestly... Painful. But he tries to keep it down. He really does. But being alone stewing in his own misery and anger doesn't do any wonders, either. He swears he's losing his goddamn mind.

  The only thing that's keeping him in line, even if barely, is that he really doesn't want to fuck everything up. He has a reputation to keep, an image to maintain. He knows that violence won't solve anything. He can't hurt them. He shouldn't hurt them. Nothing good will come out of it. He can't lose his rationality, he really can't afford it. One wrong move... One pair of eyes in the wrong place at right time... And the whole charade he spent years building and maintaining is going to come crashing down faster than he would ever be able to justify his actions. And... What would you think of him then?

  But also… They... They are trying to take you away from him. Is he supposed to just sit by and watch? To watch you slowly grow distant from him? To watch as you leave him behind? As you abandon him? No. He can't. You somehow managed to bypass every single one of his defenses over the time you two spent together. You managed to become so important to him... So what makes you think you can just simply walk away from him?

  It was an accident. He swears it was. He thought he had calmed down, he thought he had his head back in the game. He had finally worked up enough nerve to talk to your partner directly, thinking that he could use the opportunity to get on their good side, to start somewhat of a friendship, so later he could use it to his advantage. He had to start somewhere, so he thought he could humor them long enough to "hang out". It was a calculated risk, considering the state he's in, but as you're about to find out, Tiago... Isn't very good at math.

  There was a point where he found himself completely alone with them. As him and them both came upon a stairway something… Something clicked inside Tiago's head. He didn't even gave himself enough time to actually realize what he was about to do... It happened so fast... All that they needed was a little push... That's all it took. He only realized what he had done once he heard a sickening crack against the hard concrete.

  And then... Silence. Complete, near deafening silence.

  As for Gabriel... Oh, the poor guy. He'll be frozen in place, completely unmoving, as if the scene took everything out of him to be able to process what was happening. And then it suddenly hits him like a slap in the face. As soon as he starts to feel a familiar sting in the corners of his eyes, he's already getting out of there as fast as his legs can carry him, before anyone who happened to be around could even get the idea of asking why he's crying.

  It happened. What he was fearing would happen, what he constantly warned and tormented himself about... It happened. Someone took you away from him. And he let happen. And... You let it happen. You seemed just so... Happy. With them. Without him. You don't need him. Of course not. You never did. What made him think that he would ever have a chance, that he would even be worthy of having a chance? Stupid. Fucking idiot. What was he expecting?! You never cared abou-

  Ah. He... He needs to find to find a place to calm down. It's started to get hard to breathe...

  This is going to wreck him, that's for sure. And it's going to leave him in shambles for quite some time too. Gabriel has a tendency to wallow in his own misery, after all. Even so, he still manages to try and scrape by, he always does, but this time around... He can't. He just can't seem to let this go. To let you go.

  He tries to stop. To convince himself that it's okay, that it's not the end of the world. He can still try and be your friend, right? He can still be near you! Then why can't bring himself to do so? Yeah, it might have something to do with his difficulty to approach more than one person at a time, but he also can't deny the way his stomach twists every time he even just catches a glimpse of your partner. Is he angry? Jealous? He might be, but it's hard to try and identify your feelings while you're busy trying to not look like you're about to either burst into tears or start hyperventilating at any given moment.

  He's going to make a rash decision, sooner or later. And it's a bit of a gamble on each one of you is going to end up locked away in his house first, you or your new partner, but this is going to end with both of you making a permanent visit there, that's for sure. Gabriel at this point can't even find a logic explanation for his own actions, as he usually desperately tries to do. He... Just wants to separate you two, he can no longer lie to himself and pretend that he doesn't. But how? He doesn't have the charm or confidence to seem like a better option than your partner, he can't bring himself to lie or to try and manipulate you into thinking that they're a bad person, and he doesn't want to hurt them either, that would be an awful thing to do! So what other choice did he had?! He's not sure how he even managed to get this far!

  His restlessness still isn’t going to stop even now that he has you two basically at his mercy. And while he is glad (relieved even!) that you're finally safe with him... Well, what is he going to do with your partner?

  He keeps you both way too sedated to be fully aware of what's going on, but while he's extra careful and attentive of you and how you're reacting to both the substances and your new environment, your partner... Isn't as lucky. Let this be said, Gabriel can't bring himself to hurt them. A certain part of him even feels obligated to care for them. But that's not going to last long. His anxiety is going to slowly settle in, and the weight of what he did to someone who didn't deserve any of this is going to make the process even more painful. At this point he most likely will lock them away in a room where doesn't even have to look at them most of the time.

  It's going to happen eventually. Though not with any malicious intent, it's still going to happen. His nervousness is going to cause him to get sloppy with the dosages he gives them, to forget to feed them, or to constantly postpone taking care of them until... Until he’s suddenly faced with the fact that it's no longer necessary.

  Let's just hope that he manages to bring himself to do something about the body before the neighbors start complaining about the smell.

[aspoonofsugar]

I was happy to discover you are in ATLA fandom too. Could you please share your thoughts on Azula? I like your analyses

Hello anon!

Thank you very much for the nice words and for this ask! I love Azula!

I think Azula’s character explores the idea of control:

In The Avatar State, she is shown training to master “lightening”. There, it is shown how losing control of even a small detail, like a lock of hair, is enough to make Azula angry.

It is not by chance that such a scene occurs in an episode focused on the Avatar State. As a matter of fact the Avatar State and the lightening can (partially) be compared when it comes to Aang and Zuko’s stories in book two. This book opens up with Aang trying to enter the Avatar State and with the lightening being introduced thanks to Azula’s character. What is more, both Aang and Zuko try to get a hold of the two different techniques throughout the season. Finally, both skills need for the user to “let go” of their feelings.

In particular, when it comes to the lightening, there are two different ways to interpret this:

Iroh: There is energy all around us. The energy is both Ying and Yang. Positive energy and negative energy. Only a select few firebenders can separate these energies. This creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance and, in the moment the positive and negative energy come pressing back together, you provide release and guidance...creating lightening. (...) Remember, once you separate the energy you do not command it. You are simply its humble guide.”

Iroh: “Lightening is a pure expression of fire-bending without aggression. It is not fueled by rage or emotion the way other firebending is. Some call lightening the cold blooded fire. It is precise precise and deadly, like Azula. To perform the technique requires peace of mind.”

On one hand Iroh’s description is interesting because it is as if creating lightening is a process of synthesis. You separate opposites and have them come back together, so that they can gain a new form. So it makes sense that, thematically, this new synthesis can happen only if the character overcomes their inner turmoil. This is also why Zuko is not able to learn the skill:

Iroh: “You will not be able to master lightening until you have dealt with the turmoil inside you.”

Zuko: “What turmoil!?”

Iroh: “Zuko, you must let go of your feelings of shame if you want your anger to go away.”

In order to acquire it, he should let go of his shame, but he can’t do it. The fact that “shame” is what stops Zuko from making progress is interesting. As explained by Guru Pathick, thus, the fire chakra is the chakra of will and it is polluted by shame.

On the other hand the lightening is called cold-blooded firebending because it can be realized only by benders whose emotions are kept in check. I would argue that this is the reason why Azula is able to use this skill. It is not that she has reached a level of emotional maturity which lets her become a  “humble guide” to the energy. It is just that she constantly represses her feelings. This repression gives the idea that she is in perfect control, but this impression is a superficial one and it is proven wrong towards the end of the story.

In short, Zuko is not able to use lightening because of his explosive emotions, while Azula is able to because she restricts her feelings. Let’s highlight that this difference between the two siblings comes up again in a key episode aka The Beach:

Once again Zuko’s emotions are in full display. He is angry and nervous. He might not know why, but he is. Moreover he is finally able to express himself thanks to a confrontation with the other members of the group. Finally he does so while a giant fire erupts to highlight the catharsis of the moment. When it comes to Azula, she too opens up a little. In particular, she lets this slip:

Azula: I don't have sob stories like all of you. I could sit here and complain how our mom like Zuko more than me. But I don't really care. My own mother... thought I was a monster... She was right of course, but it still hurt.

Azula thinks that Ursa saw her as a monster. It is clear that the unsolved issues with her mother have left a sign on her. However, when she has the chance to truly let it all out, she does not. She changes the tone of the conversation and immediately leaves the topic. However, this does not mean that she is not troubled. If anything, her emotions keep burning behind a cold exterior, exactly like the fire, which burns under the ashes. Almost invisible, but still there.

About this, let’s consider two things.

1) In The Beach episode, Azula does something similar here:

Azula: “Come down to the beach with me. Come on! This place is depressing.”

Zuko starts talking about their past and their family, but Azula does not engage in the conversation and tells him to leave.

2) When Azula opens up, the others do not challenge her. They do not ask her what she meant nor they try to contradict what she said. This is different from what they have just done with each other. All in all, Zuko openly provokes Ty Lee and Ty Lee, Zuko and Azula all provoke May, until she shouts. Finally, all the girls keep asking Zuko who he is really angry with, until he is finally able to answer.

These two considerations can be linked to more general ideas.

a) Azula is a person who needs to always be in control. This has two consequences. The first is that she never lets herself be vulnerable. She is always on guard and closed up to others. The second is that she is like a fish out of water when there is nothing to control.

This is made clear in the episode The Beach:

Zuko: “Doing nothing is a waste of time. We are being sent a way in a force vacation. I feel like a child.”

In this episode, Azula and the others are given a break. However, Azula, just like Zuko, is not really able to take a break.

She is on an island and should relax, but the only way she manages to do so is by finding new enemies:

She must continually challenge herself and must change everything in a competition (and win it) in order not to face how empty she feels. This is why, in the end, her solution to the insecurities the beach re-awakens in her is to trash a party. She can’t fit in a group of pampered teenagers, so she ruins their evening. However, what Azula should really do is to try to understand why she does not fit.

The episode shows that Azula is ignorant when it comes to casual relationships:

Azula: “I am so used to people worshipping us”.

Ty Lee: “They should!”

Azula: “I know and I love it. But for once I just wanna see how people would react to us if they did not know who we were.”

She says so directly. She has been worshipped all her life. However, this means she does not know how people react to her outside of her role as a princess and a military leader.

The military aspect is especially interesting because, even if she does not disclose her identity as a royal, her attempts to bond are all centered around military topics:

Azula: “That's a sharp outfit, Chan. Careful, you could puncture the hull of an empire-class Fire Nation battle ship, leaving thousands to drown at sea. Because... it's so sharp.”

Azula: “Together you and I will be... THE STRONGEST COUPLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD! We will dominate the Earth!”

Her life has been a long training session for war, so she does not really know anything else. This is obvious both in how she can’t talk about other things and in how she sees others not like people, but like enemies/rivals.

This is also why the vacation in Amber Island could have been very important if Azula had been able to properly capitalize on it. All in all, The Beach is the episode where Azula is shown the most vulnerable (not counting the finale where she has a complete break-down).

She tries to change her approach to go along with others:

Azula: “Well that sounds really shallow and stupid...Let’s try it!

She openly apologizes and shows her insecurities:

“Look...maybe I just said it because I was a little...jealous.”

However, all of this is not enough to change the trajectory of her arc. Why is that so? This has to do with another aspect of Azula’s controlling tendencies. As a matter of fact not only does she controls herself, but also others.

b) Azula is presented since the beginning as a highly manipulative character. Manipulation is at the root of all her major relationships:

Zuko:You lied to me!

Azula: Like I've never done that before.

She lies to Zuko to catch him and forces Ty Lee to join her through manipulation. Moreover most of her plans rely on manipulation and lies. However, if you try to control and manipulate others you are unable to build healthy relationships.

This is what happens to Azula. As stated above, nobody replies to Azula when she opens up. Zuko could have very easily told her Ursa loved them both. May and Ty Lee could have tried to comfort her somehow. However, nobody does. And nobody does because they are all scared of Azula. In her attempt to control everybody, Azula has negated herself the chance to have  a relationship among equals.

What is more, it is clear that it is impossible to fully control others. The Beach starts to show this through Azula’s attempts to flirt. Without her status as a princess, her peers do not behave like she wants. She might be able to hook up with a guy by rehearsing and applying a strategy. However, building a relationship is not a military operation. It is not something that can be done through control, but only through respect and trust.

Azula fails to do so and this is why she is left behind by others. She is left behind by Zuko who breaks free from their father. She is left behind by Mai and Ty Lee who choose healthier relationships over the one they have with her. After she loses them, Azula starts spiralling out of control and burns everything around her.

In short, I would say that Azula’s main flaw is “control”. She wants to control everyone, herself included. So in the end she is betrayed and left behind by people and she herself loses control:

Ursa: I think you're confused. All your life you've used fear to control people. Like your friends Mai and Ty Lee.

Azula:Well what choice do I have? Trust is for fools! Fear is the only reliable way. Even you fear me.

This is especially tragic because it is clear that Azula’s behaviour is her answer to an environment where a clear line was drawn between winners and losers. Azula has always been Ozai’s favourite, but Ozai has never loved her. He loves Azula’s talent, so Azula cultivates those qualities which make her accepted by her father. What is more, Ozai is not a character who values feelings or emotions, so Azula represses these aspects of herself.

In conclusion, I think Azula is a very tragic character and that her spiral was very well written and realistic. I also think that in the series itself she has shown the potential to change for the better, but this possibility has not been explored. I mean, if she had no guilt nor regrets about her behaviour, she would not have seen the hallucination of her mother calling her out.

These are more or less my major thoughts on Azula. There are probably many other things to add, but as far as my generic impressions of her go, this is what I have to say. Feel free to make more specific questions! I love her!

Thank you for the ask!

[rammoram]

Kindaichi Yuutarou Analysis

Disclaimer: I am not a professional psychologist in any way. I simply find psychology and reading into characters very interesting. Please correct me if I say anything incorrect. 

This is also not an anti-Kageyama post. I'm simply trying to put Kindaichi in a new perspective in the most unbiased way I can. I'm only putting information I found from research into this post. Thank you. 

Kindaichi is undoubtedly my favorite character in Haikyuu. He's also one of-what I consider to be- the top most misunderstood characters. No matter the reason for it, a pretty significant chunk of the Haikyuu fandom seems to have a bias against him. And while I can't force anyone to change their opinion on his character, I'd like to try to describe some of his actions and reactions in another perspective. 

This is gonna be a pretty long post, so the rest will be under the cut~!

Things I'm going to talk about(in order):

Character Traits

Classical conditioning

Explanation/definition

How it's shown with Kindaichi

Examples, episodes & timestamps

Obstacles

Confirmation Bias

Overconfidence 

Examples, episodes

Overview

Basically a paragraph where I repeat everything I explained but with less explanations involved 

Character Traits

First, I want to list a few things about Kindaichi that we already know without doing a thorough character study. These are traits that are very obvious and can be hard to miss. 

What we already know about him: he's stubborn, emotional, kind of awkward, he can be oblivious, and he holds onto grudges. 

Of course, there are other traits he shows that could be easily identified. But these are just some of the more obvious ones. 

Some of these traits, specifically being stubborn, emotional and holding onto grudges, can actually help us understand his actions easier. 

Classical Conditioning

Definition: 

Classical Conditioning: Continuously pairing two stimuli( an unconditioned stimulus and a neutral stimulus) so that the neutral stimulus(which becomes the conditioned stimulus) gains a conditioned response. 

Explaining it in simpler terms: 

Classical conditioning is basically pairing two things together a lot so that they end up being associated with each other.

(This is definitely not the best definition or explanation. If you're still confused I would suggest looking up classical conditioning for more information)  

Defining responses and stimuli: 

Unconditioned stimulus: something that will naturally get a response. 

Unconditioned response: the response to an unconditioned stimulus. 

Neutral stimulus: a stimulus that doesn't get the same unconditioned response as the unconditioned stimulus. 

Conditioned stimulus: the neutral stimulus after being continuously paired with the unconditioned stimulus. The conditioned stimulus will get a conditioned response. 

Conditioned response: is the same response as the unconditioned response, but it is a response to the conditioned stimulus after continuous pairing. 

How it's shown with Kindaichi: 

Alright. To explain this, we have to look into what happened during middle school. 

As we all know, Kindaichi had a pretty hard time keeping up with Kageyama during middle school. When we first get introduced to them, it's shown that if Kindaichi messed up or reacted late to a toss, Kageyama would get pretty angry and yell at him, telling him to do better. And it's shown that this happened multiple times during games. 

From that, we can very easily label the responses and stimuli that would occur during classical conditioning. 

The unconditioned stimulus would be getting screamed at and criticized. 

The unconditioned response would be Kindaichi feeling hurt or upset

The neutral stimulus would be making a mistake

The conditioned stimulus would also be making a mistake

The conditioned response would also be feeling frustrated and upset. 

So basically, what we have here, is that Kindaichi would start associating messing up during volleyball with getting screamed at and feeling extremely upset and frustrated if he messed up even a little bit. 

Also yes, I understand that messing something up during a game can cause a bit of frustration, but please consider that a lot of the time during middle school, Kindaichi got yelled at even when he scored points. 

Examples of when Kindaichi shows signs of this: 

There are three specific scenes where Kindaichi shows subtle signs of classical conditioning, but they tend to get pushed aside as him respecting his upperclassmen tremendously. But this makes sense, considering that these signs are, again, very subtle, and definitely won't stand out unless you're looking for them. (or I just overanalyze everything that has to do with Kindaichi-)

The first scene happens on episode 19 of season 1, right before the first match between Aoba Johsai and Karasuno. During spiking drills, Oikawa says something along the lines of, "sorry, Kindaichi. That one was a bit high." 

The normal response to this would be very casual or laid back. But Kindaichi rapidly replies with, "yes! I mean-! No!" 

A lot of people seem to take this scene as Kindaichi being awkward. But it almost seems as if he's trying to say, "no! That wasn't your fault!" because he'd gotten so used to thinking everything was his own fault. 

The approximate timestamp for this particular scene is Season 1 episode 19- 14:20 

The second scene is very similar to the first. It's on the 22nd episode of season 2, where Kindaichi doesn't react to one of Karasuno's spikes in time, and Iwaizumi comments on how stiff he is. Similarly to how he responded to Oikawa, Kindaichi's reply is, "yes! No!" 

Again, this seems to be brushed off as Kindaichi being awkward with his upperclassmen, but it's shown that Kindaichi seems to be quite comfortable around them, and only reacts like this when someone corrects him on something. This shows that he isn't used to being corrected in a civil way, and doesn't seem to know how to respond to it. 

The approximate timestamp for this is Season 2 episode 22- 16:33

Another thing to consider is that directly after this(during the same episode and timestamp), Kindaichi seems to take a lot of responsibility for the entire team, putting a lot of the blame on himself. This, again, suggests that he believes everything is his responsibility due to the events in middle school. 

The last scene is the one that stands out the most to me. It's during the 23rd episode of season 2, in a flashback. During this flashback, we see Kindaichi missing one of Oikawa's tosses during practice. Then we see Kindaichi remember that Oikawa tells him he can ask for adjustments, and essentially has to remind himself that Oikawa will help him before actually expressing concern to Oikawa. This shows that Kindaichi wasn't used to getting treated properly, or getting support, when he wasn't able to hit a ball. 

The approximate timestamp for this scene is Season 2 episode 23- 19:12

If we look at these scenes, we can come to the conclusion that, not only did he associate making a mistake with getting shouted at and feeling horrible about himself, but he was also conditioned to think that his setter wouldn't be there for him when he needed it. This can explain a lot of Kindaichi's resentment towards Kageyama, and why he acted so crudely. 

Obstacles

Psychological obstacles are pretty much exactly what they sound like. They're hurdles that get in the way of socialization and mental growth. With Kindaichi, two specific psychological obstacles stand out to me. Confirmation Bias and Overconfidence. 

Confirmation Bias:

Confirmation bias is an obstacle where people will only acknowledge information that align with their personal beliefs and ignore information, no matter how reliable, that goes against them. 

Overconfidence: 

Overconfidence is when, as the name suggests, someone is too confident in their beliefs or judgements. These judgments are not as accurate as they may seem. 

Examples: 

Kindaichi shows a lot of signs of confirmation bias during Karasuno's practice match with Aoba Johsai. These can be seen throughout episodes 6 and 7 of season 1. 

The most obvious time we see Kindaichi struggling with this obstacle is when he refuses to acknowledge that Kageyama has gotten better after Kageyama attempts to talk to him. 

Another example of this is when Kindaichi first confronts Hinata. He talks about how horrible Kageyama was as a setter, and while that was true for Kindaichi, it wasn't the same for Hinata, or for Karasuno in general. It seems to be a mix of both confirmation bias and overconfidence here, as he ignores the fact that Hinata says that Kageyama's skills were good, while also making judgements that were more severe than reality. 

This shows that, while Kageyama did greatly impact him, Kindaichi had a hard time with psychological obstacles. They messed with his judgement and accuracy and ended up slowing down his mental healing in the process. 

Timestamps: Season 1, episode 6- 5:50

                      Season 1, episode 7- 10:12

Overview

After taking the time to analyze Kindaichi's character, we can see that he's more than the "angry guy who hates Kageyama." We can clearly see that he was conditioned to associate making a mistake with being treated unfairly and feeling crappy, and that he wasn't used to being treated in a civil way. Kindaichi also appears to deal with psychological obstacles, which slow down the healing needed to let go of middle school. This also suggests that Kindaichi thinks with more emotion and let's that guide his decisions. He's a very complex, relatable character and should be viewed as such.

[s-creations]

Return the Flames - Chapter 3

All at Dead Bird Studios knew of Amos' (The  Conductor's) ability. How the owl could suddenly erupt into flames if  angered enough. When the studio first opened, Dominic (DJ Grooves) was  told that Amos had his ability under control. Nothing to worry about. No  possible loss of anything from an open flame.

A few years later however, and that control seems to have lessened to a dangerous degree.

It should have just been a simple, week long drive to fix the problem. It really should have been.

Dominic should have asked a lot more questions and should have been prepared for a twist ending.

_________________

Fandom: A Hat in Time  Rating: General Audience  Relationships/Pairings: The ConductorXDJ Grooves  Warnings: Eventual depictions of violence, slow burn relationship, named characters, attempt of an accent, being hunted down, a race against time (sort of).

“Release, burn, return…”

“Release, burn, return…”

He could hear it, that infernal chanting that was starting to wear on his nerves. It wasn’t as loud as before. It was still there through. Just hanging over his head as he attempted to keep the fire at bay. 

“Release, burn, return…”

He shifted, shocked when he realized he was enveloped in a cool embrace. When opening his eyes, he was expecting to see himself being cradled by the darkened sky. That was not what he got. The inky black sky filled with stars was above him. Again, out of his reach. But he was no longer floating aimlessly.

Instead, he was resting in a crater. The ground below him powdery and white, dust rising as he shifted and sat up. 

“Release, burn, return…”

“Remain… Please remain… You need to remain…”

“Release, burn, return…”

“Remain… Please remain…”

Amos shifted weakly in the ice and freezing water filled tub, slowly sitting up as he rubbed sleep from his face. Mind still hazy from waking, Amos swirled some of the ice around before reaching up. Placing a hand on his chest. The fire was still low, bearable. Something he truly hadn’t felt in so long. But why was he in a bathtub? And where did all this ice come from? 

“What…”

“How are you feeling?”

The owl jumped at the sudden voice. Dominic was by the large sink, in the processes of pulling his hair back into a bun. Wearing a simple tank top and boxer combo as his sleepwear. Toiletries were laying out on the sink’s surface with water running from the tap. Oh, right, the trip. One that Dominic had insisted on coming with. He was also the one who, apparently, kept dumping ice on the owl even after Amos passed out.

“‘M fine…” Amos answered weakly, rubbing sleep away from his face. “What time is it?”

“7.”

The owl sat up a bit straighter at that. “How’s it 7? I thought we arrived here later than that?”

“...It’s 7 in the morning Amos. You practically passed out once you were in there.”

“Oh. That’s a bit more reasonable. I suppose.”

“I’ve never seen you sleep this much.”

“Ya been spyin’ on me?”

Dominic rolled his eyes at Amos’ smirk, the owl draped over the side of the tub. “I don’t have to knowing you workaholic nature. I’m more wondering and worrying if your condition requires you to sleep more to combat it.”

“Nah, I’ve just had difficulty sleepin’  lately.” The owl stood, the water and ice sloshing around. He was a bit upset that he had to leave his cold sanctuary. “How much ice did ya brin’ back?”

“A few buckets worth. By the way, if anyone asks, you eat ice like chips.”

“...Why?”

“It was the story I told when confronted on why I kept getting ice.” Dominic frowned as the owl roared with laughter. “I’m glad someone finds amusement in this.”

“I thought ya could come up with creative stories.”

“Not in five seconds! What would you have said?”

“Needed ice for your cooler.”

“You mean the one that we don’t have.”

“Did they eye over our luggage when we shuffled past their room?”

“I don’t know, but I wasn’t going to risk it.”

Letting out a snort, Amos left the tub. A disgruntled noise left him as he noticed the water rushing off of him. “Don’t suppose this place has a dryer.”

“In fact, they do. But we can dry them as we drive, don’t fret. I have a new outfit laying out on the bed for you.”

“Ya went through-”

“Oh hush Darling. I just took out what was needed, I didn’t look at anything else.”

Amos huffed, his footsteps slapping wetly against the ground as he stormed out of the bathroom. He was shocked with how large the room was. Properly conscious to pay attention to the setting around him. Two queen size beds pressed against the wall with a large, flat screen tv resting on the opposite. A large dresser was below that, which appeared untouched as their suitcases were resting by it, both open. A small sitting area, with a large sitting chair and a large table was positioned near the wide window. Which showed a balcony and the growing prairie outside the hotel grounds. 

At the foot of the closest bed was a few articles of Amos’ clothing, just as the penguin said. 

“At least he picked out something comfortable.” The owl muttered. 

While the ice and water combo had kept him cool and he was grateful for that, he really hated wet clothing. It stuck to his feathers and pulled at them uncomfortably. He preened a bit, only to put the awkward feathers back into place before dressing again. Unsure of how long Dominic would need to take in order to be ready, Amos moved himself and his wet clothing to the balcony. 

He laid the drenched garments out on the railing before turning towards the view. Truth be told, there wasn’t much to look at. This was definitely a hotel that was meant as a way to get away from everything. There was a small town that could barely be seen on the horizon. After that was the large portion of prairie land that was filled with wild grass and flowers. The view below was one of a large parking lot with an ornate courtyard directly set before the hotel entrance. It seemed like such a waste of money to only stay here for one night. But, if Peck Neck Grooves wanted to burn his money, then so be it. 

Amos placed a hand on his chest, the fire within calm. A pleasant warmth instead of the inferno it had been for so many days. As if to confirm for him that he was still in control, Amos created a small flame from within his palm. It wasn’t much. But it was something.

“I’m going to assume you’re feeling better.” Dominic joined the owl on the balcony, hair still pulled back, but was now properly dressed. 

“Aye… ‘M not goin’ ta lie. It’s probably the best I’ve felt in awhile.”

“Really?”

“I don’t have a self making ice machine. Nor someone to keep dumpin’ said ice over me when I pass out.”

The penguin frowned at that. “Have you been experiencing this every night?”

“Not every night...about once every two weeks. It all sort o’ builds up.”

“How...long has this been happening?”

“A few years.”

“Years! Amos-”

“I don’t need a lecture. I have a solution, that’s where we’re goin’, so hush.”

“Amos, I want to help.”

“And ya are.” 

“I’m not just speaking about physically taking you somewhere. I mean mentally. Emotionally. Something. This can’t be healthy to not talk about this.”

Amos snuffed the flame before walking back into the room. “Are ya ready to go.”

“...I suppose I am. Do you want to eat here?”

“And spend 20 pons for a piece o’ toast? Let’s get ta the town and see what they have.”

Dominic didn’t argue. Merely collecting the drenched garments and following Amos as they finished packing up the rest of their belongings. They checked out, climbed back into the car, and headed towards the nearby town. 

It was an old fashioned town with a few modern touches. The houses were old with some paint chipping from the siding but well maintained, with large porches with swing seats and at least two potted plants. Further in revealed a mix of older stores and those with modern touches. Nothing fancy or flashy, giving it enough of a home town feeling. A small dinner was spotted further down the road, Dominic claiming a parking spot on the street as the dinner’s lot seemed rather packed. 

It was packed on the inside as well. The floor being a black and white checkered pattern with all seating having red leather upholstery. It was loud, with chattering and children screaming, the servers rushing around with food in hand. They were led over to a booth, promptly taking the seats across from each other, ordering and falling quiet. Dominic peered out the large window in hopes of avoiding the awkward silence that settled over them once again. But nothing of interest kept his attention and he was pulled back to the table and, more importantly, Amos.

“Do we need to worry about another episode tonight?” The penguin asked. 

“I hope not. But we may want to stock up on ice...just in case.”

“Fair.”

They fell quiet again. Dominic hit once more with how little he knew of the owl. What could he possibly bring up that would interest Amos? It was a thankful blessing when the food arrived. Giving something for each to focus on besides the silence. Unfortunately, the awkward peace was quickly ended with the sound of a shutter, followed by a bright light that startled them both. 

Amos let out a growl as a bluejay with a camera around their neck approached the booth. Pulling out a pad of paper and pencil as they stopped before them.

“Calm down Amos.” Dominic cautiously whispered before turning to the report. ���Isn’t it a bit rude to impede on other’s privacy.”

“Sorry to bother. But it’s not everyday two big shot directors bless a small town like this with their presence. Especially not together! Are we having a bit of a special outing? A romantic get away perhaps?” 

The dinner fell quiet when Amos suddenly stood, slamming his hands down onto the table. “Ya unruly peck neck! Sniffin’ around for business that ya have no need ta stick your nose in. Have ya nothin’ better ta do with ya miserable peckin’ life!”

And Amos left it at that. Storming out of the restaurant with an uneasy silence following. Dominic took in the stunned audience, mother’s desperately pressing their hands over children’s ears, the elderly watching on with looks of utter disgust, as he placed pons down to pay for their meal. “You may want to take his words to heart darling.”

With that, he departed as well and started to search for Amos. The owl being located behind the building. Frantically pacing as smoke slowly rose from him. Dominic was instantly on the defense as he approached the other. Not sure if Amos was close to combusting or if something else was going to consume his rath. 

“Amos-”

“Peck neck! Absolute peckin’ peck neck!”

“You do realize there are children who can hear you.”

“Maybe they’ll learn somethin’ important.”

“Amos, you need to calm down. We knew this might have been a possible issue.”

“I know! I know that! But I’m already on a short temper and in pain, I have enough ta worry about without them snoopin’ around! Then ta even suggest that we… That we’re together… Peckin’ reporter’s gonna write some stupid story about us bein’ together!” 

“You don’t know that. And, even if they did, you know it’ll just be tabloid garbage.” 

“Stop deafening’ them!”

A sudden eruption of flames caused both to stumble away from the dinner. A fire quickly formed from the A.C. unit and started to claim the building. Dominic could tell there was no way to contain it with how quickly it was spreading. 

It was absolutely terrifying. 

This was not normal fire. Not the regular flames that Amos could create. It was all red. All varying shades of red that consumed the concrete building. The heat he felt from it made Dominic think he was starting to melt as well. He heard screams and panicked yells coming from the front of the building. The customers and workers could no doubt feel the growing heat and were leaving as fast as they could. The sound of the familiar sirens drawing closer to the roaring fire, which had fully claimed the building, broke Dominic out of his fearful state. 

“Amos.” Dominic looked over to the owl. Who was staring in disbelief at the roaring fire. “Amos, we need to leave.” 

He still didn’t respond. Dominic rushed over and grabbed Amos’ arms, pulling him away from the bonfire. They rushed past the crowd (Dominic prayed all were able to get out), passed the fire trucks that were racing by them, (did they seem suspicious running away?), and climbed back into the car. Amos was still unresponsive as Dominic started up the car and peeled out of their spot. 

As they pulled away, Amos finally moved, turning back to watch the fire as it slowly shrank. Dominic’s heart was pounding in his ears as he drove, eyes locked on the road. 

But he could have sworn he heard Amos whisper fearfully. 

“I didn’t mean to…”

[gtgrandom]

Beck and Jade: Toxicity

Alright kiddos.  With the resurgence of Victorious, I’ve seen a lot of new and old viewers idolizing this relationship, and while I 100% support your decision to ship what you want to ship, we need to acknowledge some of the red flags in this relationship and talk about why it shouldn’t be #goals.  I’ve seen too many teens talking about how realistic these two are (which is insane given the show’s comedic exaggeration) and how they want to embody everything Jade is as a woman, and my heart dies a bit. 

I know how annoying it is to see false accusations of an “abusive” couple by a non-psychologist simply because someone doesn’t ship it.  And yeah, I realize this is a kid’s show designed to entertain.  But I also realize what impact television has on the youth and their expectations of love.  So I want to set some things straight.  

Hot take: You can still enjoy the show while recognizing what a healthy relationship looks like. 

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First, let’s talk about aspects that WERE healthy:

1. Open Communication

These two felt so “real” because they would confront each other directly about behavior they didn’t approve of, things that annoyed them, etc.  Most of the time they were so direct, issues didn’t have enough time to fester and boil over.  Honesty is key in a healthy relationship, and for them, teasing and arguing served as an acceptable avenue for this honesty.   

2. They do learn to adapt to each other’s needs and grow together...sort of. 

Being able to recognize your own shortcomings and value your partner for their ability to see past those flaws is essential.  Fighting is okay if you can come together after it, understand why your partner was upset, and grow stronger from the experience.  The earthquake should strengthen the bridge after the new changes and reinforcements are put in place, not weaken it...

But time apart requires you to reflect on yourself.  When two people come back together and their means of apology is through kissing or sex...that tells you exactly what makes the relationship function.  

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Now...for the portrayal of toxic behavior and emotional abuse.

 1. Ugly jealousy

Jade’s jealousy is a constant source of conflict for the two, OBVIOUSLY.  While she might say what we’re all thinking, her possessiveness is unattractive - and had it been the trait for a male love interest on the show, fans would have attacked him for it.  You’re not allowed to control who your boyfriend hangs out with and befriends. You have no right to do so.  You can express to him, “hey, I feel insecure about our relationship when you hang out with this individual exclusively.  Can I come with you this time and get to know her better so I can put my mind at ease?”  If he doesn't take your concerns seriously, then you should leave the relationship.  

And if the new girl (as unjustified as it was) makes out with your boyfriend, you take your issues up with your disloyal boyfriend. You don’t continue to bully the other girl. 

There’s a difference between speaking your mind / sticking to your values, and being a total dick.  Jade crosses this line every episode.  She’s not iconic when she bullies her friends.  It’s really not that funny.

2. Putting words in Beck’s mouth

A lot of the times this is used for comedic effect.  Because you know how sensitive women are. You just can’t say anything as a man, lest she twist it around on you... :/  Regardless, it turns Jade into an instigator, an agitator, and a difficult person to reach a consensus with.  Don’t put words in your loved one’s mouth. Listen to what they have to say. Process it.  Come back after you’ve had a chance to walk it off and think rationally.

3.  Fighting at high frequency and magnitude 

It’s one of the “quirks” of this relationship.  Teens like to call it “rocky” and “full of chemistry.”  Nah.  It’s just plain ol’ toxic fighting and hostility.  Especially because it’s usually over something stupid and entirely irrelevant to their relationship.  A passionate relationship doesn’t mean you argue and fight everyday.  Your relationship should have more positive energy than negative.  Otherwise, why bother?

If they wanted to show a realistic relationship and the struggles teens encounter, they could have taken a dozen different avenues.  Like an episode where everything they say gets on each other’s nerves and they just need some space, but then at the end of the episode they can laugh about how they were arguing over something as silly as x,y,z.  

Instead, they made Jade the classic toxic bad boy trope.

4. Emotional instability and manipulation

Many people call Beck the calm, grounding force who is the only one capable of “topping” Jade.  That’s whack.  No one should have to babysit their partner because they’re so emotionally jagged and explosive. Sure, it makes for good comedy, but these two could have just as easily been best friends who knew how to deal with one another.  They even could have been a healthier pairing if the writers had made Jade treat Beck with more respect than everyone else.  But in the end, Beck has to be her backboard and police officer more than he gets to be her boyfriend.

Jade has too many issues to work through (jealousy, insecurity, aggression, etc).  She shouldn’t be in a relationship until she can properly channel that anger and resentment. 

Otherwise, she needs someone who won’t put up with her bullshit the way Beck does.  (He calls her out on it every now and again, but he also claims that he enjoys not having an easy relationship).

5. Disloyalty 

I’m not about to say that Jade is jealous for no reason.  Beck could be much better at showing her he only has eyes for his girlfriend.  That he puts her at the same level as (or above) his platonic friendships and acting career.  But this isn’t always the case, and Jade hates it.  

Another reason to break it off. Don’t settle for a man who punishes your behavior by allowing the new girl to kiss him -- or who makes you feel inadequate in any way.

That’s the tea.

That’s all for today, kids.  Ship the fictional pairing all you want, god knows I have my fair share of toxic ships (side-eyes Delena).  Just please don’t call it realistic.  And please know that real relationships take work (real love is a choice as much as it’s a feeling), but that doesn’t mean your relationships have to be this ugly. <3