#(This post is very long)

[mirroredworlds]

acanthus, aloe, anemone, bachelor's button, bay tree, begonia, bluebell, chamomile, chrysanthemum, daffodil, daisy, gardenia, heliotrope, ivy, lilac, magnolia, marigold, willow. 4 Gajeel, Natsu, Lucy, and Erza. ( you don't have to answer them all for all four but I'm curious about most of these things for them orz)

(Whoa. Thank you for the headcanon ask here. It was fun answering some of these everything is below the cut cause this got LONG.)

Gajeel

acanthus :   is your muse deceptive ,   or willing to lie or deceive to achieve certain means ?why or why not?

Gajeel isn't the sort to be deceptive. He abhors the idea of lying even if it's supposed to be a means to protect HIM. He's had to lie before, to someone who he viewed as a friend and he still hates himself for it despite it being part of a JOB he'd been sent on. He had to lie to keep up the façade and he hated every moment of it.

aloe :   how does your muse handle grief?

Gajeel doesn't handle grief well. He tends to close himself off from those who care about him, not even the people he views as the closest to him can get him to talk about it for the most part.

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ? where does that world view come from   (what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc .)?

Gajeel knows that while the world can be cold and unforgiving there are things and people who make it a much better place. His view of the world is mostly stemmed from his shitty childhood and upbringing in the Phantom Lord guild where only power was treated even remotely well at any given time. Now as a member of Fairy Tail while it took him a long time to believe it, he can see that there is much more to the world and being a wizard than the powerful lording over those who are weaker than them.

bachelor’s button :   does your muse actively seek romantic companionship ,   or cherish the liberties of being single?

Gajeel doesn't actively seek any sort of companionship out, be it romantic or otherwise. He has to get to know someone and forge an emotional bond with them to a degree that's almost absurd to some people before he'd even think about anything in a romantic light. As for romance in general given how horrible of a person he was forced to become while under Jose's control he often thinks of himself as someone who isn't worthy of praise of any kind, let alone love.

bay tree :   does your muse seek glory   &   accolades ,   or do they favour a simpler ,   more personal life?

Gajeel would much rather have a simpler life where his past lay forgotten and rotting in a place no one treads. Infamy is still fame and he despises what a lot of people still think he's like. Plus, given how bad he was in the past some people still think he's just an overall horrible person in general.

begonia :   how cautious is your muse ?are they prone to noticing red flags ,   or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ?why or why not?

Gajeel is very cautious when it comes to pretty much everyone. He can easily spot red flags but he's not extremely paranoid or anything like that. He is, however, very distrusting of basically everyone in the beginning. It takes time for him to lower his guard around most people.

bluebell :   does your muse learn from their past ,   or are they prone to repeating the same mistakes?

Yes, Gajeel has learned from his past and is almost always trying to make amends for the horrible things he'd been forced to do to others. He's not one who is prone to repeating his mistakes.

chamomile :   what is your muse likely to take away from a painful experience ?are they one to be haunted by adversity ,   or to use what they’ve gone through to become stronger?

Gajeel always takes what he's put through to become stronger as a result. Sure, it might not always work but he does his best to make this end a possibility.

chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?how do they feel about love as a concept?

Gajeel doesn't really express love in a way that people read into it as what it's supposed to be. In fact, he's kind of awkward about the whole thing truth be told.

daffodil :   is your muse one to be loyal in relationships ,   or are they likely to quickly move from one bond to another?

Gajeel is completely loyal in any and all relationships. He won't even betray in the easiest or simplest ways possible, such as spilling secrets.

daisy :   did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ?what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence?

Yes, Gajeel's felt that his innocence was lost a long time ago. While he'd retained some of it prior o joining the Phantom Lord guild it was quickly stripped of him by the Master's punishments.

gardenia :   is your muse one to confess romantic feelings early on ,   or to conceal them for long periods of time?

Gajeel isn't going to be the one confessing in a romantic way. His concept of confessions would likely be things such as telling the person they 'have a nice face' or something equally ridiculous. He'd also play it off as not meant in a romantic way especially if he knows the person likes him back. He's kind of self-sabotaging in that way. Basically, he'll conceal any and all love he has for anyone ever and blurt random shit out that embarrasses him in its stead. Slips of the tongue are pretty rare with him though so he'd have to be in a certain headspace for something like this to happen.

heliotrope :   does your muse believe in soulmates?

Not that he'll admit it but yes, Gajeel does, in fact believe they exist out there. He thinks his is dead though so there's that.

ivy :   what are your muse’s views on marriage ?do they believe it is something strictly for love ,   or an institution rooted in business   &   social benefits ?do they desire or have they desired to be married?

Gajeel thinks that people should only get married for love. Period. Of course, he knows there are assholes out there who basically sell their kids to the highest bidder to pad their own pockets. He'd love to get married someday but he also strongly believes that he's undeserving of that sheer happiness.

lilac :   what was your muse’s childhood like ?how has their upbringing affected them as they’ve aged?

Shitty. Gajeel's childhood was a shitfest and a half and that was before he joined a guild. Before he came four-hundred years into the future his family had all been slaughtered which was when he was brought in to be taught Iron Dragon Slayer magic. He was one of five orphans who were taught their magic by the dragons themselves. He didn't remember most of this until after Natsu, who'd forgotten everything about them as kids remembered. It was a really weird few days after that.

magnolia :   describe your muse’s relationship with nature   &   the natural world

Gajeel has a strong link to nature as a wizard who uses a natural element. His element is Iron, yes, but iron comes from nature itself. As an Earth element he's one who loves to raise plants but most flowering ones are kept far from his home as they can become overwhelming when in close proximity to his windows. He's got an entire garden he's grown as well as a few trees. It's nothing overly extravagant but it certainly helps him save money when going to the market for food.

marigold :   is your muse prone to jealousy ?how might they handle envious feelings?

Jealousy is something all the Dragon Slayers likely face to some degree or another. Gajeel si absolutely no exception to this. When he's feeling envious or jealous of someone he's likely to leave to the mountains to train for a while until the bubbling feeling ebbs away.

willow :   how does your muse handle sadness   &   depression?

Gajeel closes himself off and refuses to talk whenever he's feeling depressed or sad. It's one of the reasons people refer to his typical facial expression as that of 'resting asshole face' because they learned pretty fast not to call his expression 'bitch face'.

Natsu

acanthus :   is your muse deceptive ,   or willing to lie or deceive to achieve certain means ?why or why not?

Natsu isn't deceptive at all. He wears his heart on his sleeve and his emotions are borderline chaotic at almost all times.

aloe :   how does your muse handle grief?

Natsu locks himself away from his friends, even Happy can't find him whenever his grief hits him really hard. He just wants to be alone. Even though he knows it's not good for him.

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ? where does that world view come from   (what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc .)?

Natsu loves the world and everything in it. He's one of the easiest people to get along with for even those who have 'hardened' hearts. While he knows the world can be very unforgiving he also knows that there's beauty in it.

bachelor’s button :   does your muse actively seek romantic companionship ,   or cherish the liberties of being single?

Natsu is very affectionate by nature but he's also quite naive and innocent. He knows what love is 'supposed' to be like, or so his friends tell him, but he's not actively seeking out a partner at any time. As long as he's allowed to hug people he's good.

bay tree :   does your muse seek glory   &   accolades ,   or do they favour a simpler ,   more personal life?

Natsu hasn't ever really sought glory but in the past his overly destructive habits caused him to gain a sort of infamy that still follows him to this day.

begonia :   how cautious is your muse ?are they prone to noticing red flags ,   or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ?why or why not?

Natsu isn't as cautious as he ought to be. He's easily trusting and sometimes overly so. Red flags aren't something that are easy for him to spot and he's sometimes or oftentimes too trusting.

bluebell :   does your muse learn from their past ,   or are they prone to repeating the same mistakes?

Natsu is surprisingly a quick learner. If he's done something bad/frowned upon in his past he tries to not do it again at any point in the future.

chamomile :   what is your muse likely to take away from a painful experience ?are they one to be haunted by adversity ,   or to use what they’ve gone through to become stronger?

Painful experiences are often the best teachers. Especially for people like Natsu. The fire dragon slayer is one who can and does actually learn from painful experiences but the degree of what he retains depends on the severity of the pain in itself. He does actually use what he learns to become stronger but there are times where he just needs to cry. (This depends on what sort of pain it is physical pain is different for him than emotional pain.)

chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?how do they feel about love as a concept?

Natsu is very cuddly and loves to hug people! His concept of love is actually pretty innocent because as an orphan raised by a dragon he wasn't really taught what romantic love was. That doesn't mean he's not learned the difference between platonic and romantic though.

daffodil :   is your muse one to be loyal in relationships ,   or are they likely to quickly move from one bond to another?

Natsu is loyal to every single friend he has. He loves and adores them all in his own way and should he ever find someone to enter an actual relationship with he'll be as loyal as, well, a dragon. He'll 'hoard' his person with every fiber of his being.

daisy :   did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ?what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence?

Natsu can still be somewhat naive but it's not in any detrimental way for him. His innocence is still somewhat intact but he's far from a child. Even if there are times where he's hyper and acting like one.

gardenia :   is your muse one to confess romantic feelings early on ,   or to conceal them for long periods of time?

Natsu tells his friends how much he loves and adores them any time he feels like doing so. So yes, he would likely be the one to confess first depending on with whom the other half is.

heliotrope :   does your muse believe in soulmates?

Natsu believes that soulmates exist for everyone but you need to get lucky to find yours.

ivy :   what are your muse’s views on marriage ?do they believe it is something strictly for love ,   or an institution rooted in business   &   social benefits ?do they desire or have they desired to be married?

Natsu doesn't know what marriage is. Igneel didn't exactly teach him anything about most human things. Marriage being one of them. Sure, he'll probably read about marriage in books or learn about it from Lucy or Levy and then he'll decide for himself what he really thinks of it. He'll probably have a positive outlook on it so long as it's done out of LOVE and nothing else.

lilac :   what was your muse’s childhood like ?how has their upbringing affected them as they’ve aged?

Natsu had an alright childhood up until Igneel disappeared. After that he wandered around until he was found by Makarov and brought into Fairy Tail. Which is when his 'life' pretty much got started.

magnolia :   describe your muse’s relationship with nature   &   the natural world

Natsu loves to fish and garden and has a rather large one near his home. He's had help getting some seeds. Like Lucy gave him some flower seeds, Erza gave him some vegetable seeds, and even Gajeel's helped out once or twice with some seeds as well. His element is fire, which can consume and destroy but fire also helps to make certain plants even hardier.

marigold :   is your muse prone to jealousy ?how might they handle envious feelings?

Natsu is a dragon slayer and as such is prone to jealousy yes he's just never sure what triggers it. Unless it's in a relationship and his partner is being hit on, touched, or made uncomfortable then it's due to that. He's probably prone to violence if someone makes the person he cherishes cry or uncomfortable.

willow :   how does your muse handle sadness   &   depression?

Natsu actually cries when he's sad or depressed it depends on what triggers it though. He also, more often than not, prefers to be alone while he's miserable. So his friends 'don't think less' of him for crying.

Lucy

acanthus :   is your muse deceptive ,   or willing to lie or deceive to achieve certain means ?why or why not?

Lucy abhors the idea of lying and refuses to do so unless she has no other choice.

aloe :   how does your muse handle grief?

Lucy will throw herself into her manuscript to avoid grief but if she's unable to do so, she'll just lock herself in her apartment and cry for a while.

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ? where does that world view come from   (what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc .)?

Lucy's view of the world is pretty positive even when she knows there are terrible things out there. She doesn't think the world is 'full of rainbows and sunshine' or anything like that but she knows that no matter how dark a night is, the sun will rise in the morning.

bachelor’s button :   does your muse actively seek romantic companionship ,   or cherish the liberties of being single?

Lucy is a hopeless romantic at heart and loves the idea of love. She just tends to sometimes go at it the wrong way and things often go sideways as a result. She doesn't like being single but she's been so desensitized by horrible dates that she's fine being single for now.

bay tree :   does your muse seek glory   &   accolades ,   or do they favour a simpler ,   more personal life?

Lucy doesn't seek glory or anything that comes with it. She prefers a quiet life with her friends and family in the Fairy Tail guild.

begonia :   how cautious is your muse ?are they prone to noticing red flags ,   or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ?why or why not?

Lucy is sometimes blind to the red flags but she doesn't always stay that way. If something or someone is throwing out a lot of them she most certainly tries to get herself out of the situation as quickly as she can. She is still very trusting of others regardlss.

bluebell :   does your muse learn from their past ,   or are they prone to repeating the same mistakes?

Yes, Lucy learns from her past and becomes stronger as a result of it more often than not. She's not one to repeat a bad situation so long as it's within her control.

chamomile :   what is your muse likely to take away from a painful experience ?are they one to be haunted by adversity ,   or to use what they’ve gone through to become stronger?

Lucy carries emotional scars with her like physical ones. Any loss fills her with pain or grief depending on what or who it was. She's never been haunted to the truest extent of the meaning, but she sometimes recalls losses and the trauma felt as they happened. All of this just makes her train more to become stronger.

chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?how do they feel about love as a concept?

Lucy expresses romantic love by being more open with her partner. She'll often make them small things or cook for them if they're visiting her too. Lucy just loves love because she's a true hopeless romantic at heart.

daffodil :   is your muse one to be loyal in relationships ,   or are they likely to quickly move from one bond to another?

Lucy hates the idea of cheating if she ever found someone and was loyal to them only to find out they cheated on her, she'd be absolutely crushed. She's not likely to move quickly from any one bond to another because she cherishes the ones she has too much to do so.

daisy :   did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ?what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence?

Lucy felt her innocence was lost the moment she became nothing more than an asset her father sought to sell. She hated the idea of being purchased to become some nasty old codgers trophy wife that she ran away from home and refused to return no matter what her father did.

gardenia :   is your muse one to confess romantic feelings early on ,   or to conceal them for long periods of time?

As a hopeless romantic Lucy is more than likely to be the one who confesses early on. Of course, she has this idea in her head about her 'perfect' partner but she's never voiced it or mentioned it to anyone. She has no intention of doing so either.

heliotrope :   does your muse believe in soulmates?

Likely not too surprising to know that Lucy does, in fact, believe these exist. Where is hers? Who knows.

ivy :   what are your muse’s views on marriage ?do they believe it is something strictly for love ,   or an institution rooted in business   &   social benefits ?do they desire or have they desired to be married?

Lucy has a strong dislike for the institute of marriage for anything other than love itself. The idea of marrying someone for political or social benefits leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. Period. She'll only ever marry out of love and not for any other reason.

lilac :   what was your muse’s childhood like ?how has their upbringing affected them as they’ve aged?

Lucy's childhood was spent mostly alone. The times she had anyone around to spend any time with her after her mother passed away it was mostly the servants in the konzern and little else. She did have Aquarius, sure, but the spirit was volatile all the time and she never knew what mood the woman would be in upon appearing. Despite this, she still valued and loved the spirit up until the sacrifice made to summon the Celestial Spirit King.

magnolia :   describe your muse’s relationship with nature   &   the natural world

Lucy loves flowers, but her apartment doesn't exactly have any land she can grow any on, which leaves her to give flower seeds to her friends who have land and can grow them. She stops by simply to see the flowers sometimes.

marigold :   is your muse prone to jealousy ?how might they handle envious feelings?

Whenever Lucy sees a legitimately happy couple she can't fight off every bit of envy she feels because she doesn't have something like that herself. She's not a jealous person by nature but there are times where the little green monster rears its head regardless.

willow :   how does your muse handle sadness   &   depression?

Lucy tries to keep herself busy. She doesn't like people to know when she's sad or depressed so she tries as hard as she can to keep the mask she perfected upon her face while out in public and around those she cares about.

Erza

acanthus :   is your muse deceptive ,   or willing to lie or deceive to achieve certain means ?why or why not?

Erza isn't one who would lie for any reason other than out of necessity for survival. Maybe not even then. She prefers honesty.

aloe :   how does your muse handle grief?

Not well but not bad either. Erza will throw herself into work and work even harder to try and forget what she's grieving.

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ? where does that world view come from   (what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc .)?

Erza knows the world is a hard place to live in but she still thinks there is beauty to be found. Most often in the strangest of places or people. Her view of the world was much darker when she was younger. She still knows that ugliness exists in the world no matter how beautiful it is now.

bachelor’s button :   does your muse actively seek romantic companionship ,   or cherish the liberties of being single?

No. Erza hasn't ever actively sought out a romantic connection and she isn't likely to start now. As a young adult in her twenties she's content as she is. Should she somehow find someone to date she'll give them everything she is and probably more to ensure they were also as happy as she was.

bay tree :   does your muse seek glory   &   accolades ,   or do they favour a simpler ,   more personal life?

Erza likes that her name instills fear in the hearts of the "bad guys" but she also wishes that she wasn't as famous as the moniker has made her. She values her personal space the same as most other people do.

begonia :   how cautious is your muse ?are they prone to noticing red flags ,   or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ?why or why not?

Erza isn't one to overlook red flags. She saw them in someone she adored when she was a child and that person betrayed her. She's still effected by that to this day but doesn't make a point to show it. She's trusting of others to a degree and those that she feels need to earn that trust she keeps an eye on for a little while to gauge their personality for herself rather than letting bad comments or a past judge them for her.

bluebell :   does your muse learn from their past ,   or are they prone to repeating the same mistakes?

Erza learned from her past when she was betrayed by someone she was extremely close to as a child. She learned that even if you give someone your complete and utter trust they can, and often will, destroy it and you in the process for their own gain. She's not prone to making the same mistakes now as she's proven time and time again.

chamomile :   what is your muse likely to take away from a painful experience ?are they one to be haunted by adversity ,   or to use what they’ve gone through to become stronger?

Erza is likely to take away from a painful experience whatever it was that led up to it. Be it a relationship of some kind or another thing. Either way, she learns, she loses, and she moves on. Everything she's gone through has made her both stronger as well as a bit smarter in certain situations.

chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?how do they feel about love as a concept?

Erza isn't one who really gives much thought to romantic love as a thing to express. She's more the type to shower her partner in comments and possibly gifts (of things they like) while in the privacy of either of their homes rather than in public. She knows from personal experience that love can hurt and destroy as well as lift up and heal. So her view on love isn't like most other people's.

daffodil :   is your muse one to be loyal in relationships ,   or are they likely to quickly move from one bond to another?

Erza would be one-hundred percent loyal to her partner and she would expect that of them as well. She's not one who builds bonds or jumps from one to another quickly. If her heart is broken it will take time to heal before she'll be willing to try love again.

daisy :   did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ?what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence?

Erza lost her innocence when she was rather young. She knew this because while still a very small child she was forced into servitude and beaten when she didn't do what she was being forced to do. This situation from her childhood is one of the main reasons she's so locked away even from her closest friends for a long time,

gardenia :   is your muse one to confess romantic feelings early on ,   or to conceal them for long periods of time?

Erza might be the one to confess first it really would depend on who she's with, how long they've been together, and how they both feel around one another when alone. One thing can be said, she does actually realize when she's fallen for someone and is pretty quick and beginning to hide those feelings. So in the end it depends on the partner and the situation.

heliotrope :   does your muse believe in soulmates?

Despite her painful childhood and all the things she's learned and gone through over the years, Erza does actually believe that soulmates can be a thing and there might be one out there for her. Whoever it may be could be someone she knows really well or someone she doesn't know at all.

ivy :   what are your muse’s views on marriage ?do they believe it is something strictly for love ,   or an institution rooted in business   &   social benefits ?do they desire or have they desired to be married?

Erza doesn't know what to feel about marriage. Especially after finding out about her own father from her mother. She feels that marriage should be a sacred thing taken up by those who truly love one another and not just for money or social status.

lilac :   what was your muse’s childhood like ?how has their upbringing affected them as they’ve aged?

Erza's childhood was one word:HELL. She was forced into child slavery at a young age and held captive in the tower for who knows how long before managing to escape. She lost a lot that day and the pain is what wound up awakening her magic. Of course, without that ONE sacrifice she'd never have known what guild to look for that eventually became not only her home, but her family. She's come to realize that despite all the pain, suffering, and loss she's endured she's alive and loved thanks to her family in Fairy Tail.

magnolia :   describe your muse’s relationship with nature   &   the natural world

Erza doesn't have a green thumb but she also doesn't have a black or brown one. She loves nature but she's not one to plant too many things of her own. Mostly because her home isn't equipped to handle much. She does have some rose bushes though.

marigold :   is your muse prone to jealousy ?how might they handle envious feelings?

Erza isn't one who feels she can become envious of anyone. Mostly because so many people tell her they're envious of her for her appearance or her magic as well as other reasons she forgets. While there is a chance she could become envious she's not aware if this has ever come to pass.

willow :   how does your muse handle sadness   &   depression?

If the sadness or depression is bad enough, Erza will lock herself away or try to work enough that she forgets for a little while. She's often alone while in this state because she's afraid that letting people see her like this will make them not rely on her anymore. Even though she knows it's not true she still worries people will abandon her if she's not as 'strong' as they believe her to be. She's still human and not an impervious emotionless wall.

[whiteshipnightjar]

Zoozve, my beloved

[hamletthedane]

I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.

What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.

What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.

What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.

The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.

And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.

But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.

I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.

[aesethewitch]

When I was a kid, we moved into a house that had a huge lilac tree out front. It was mostly rotten, and it needed to be taken down before it fell. It took a while, but eventually, it was gone.

Mostly. A couple years later, little lilac babies popped out of the ground in its place. My mom was determined to get rid of them, because she'd planted a beautiful flower garden there, and the lilac trees would overshadow and kill the whole garden. I insisted on saving at least a few saplings. She said fine, but I had to dig them out and put them in pots myself.

So, I did. I spent days digging little lilac bushes out of the ground and putting them into pots. Some couldn't be saved, but some could. When all was said and done, I had five brand-new lilac saplings. Seven or eight years old, and it was my absolute pride and joy.

Three died due to sun scorching, severe drought that no amount of watering could save, and perhaps just being moved from their place in the ground. But two survived, and I was awfully proud of them! I'd go out and talk to them every single day. I watered them by hand and made sure they were fertilized properly. I learned all about their favored environments, and I was determined to make sure they lived.

One of my mom's friends saw what I was doing with the lilacs. She asked if she could have one to put in her backyard, and I agreed on the condition that she take very, very good care of it.

It's now fucking enormous. I'm talking ten feet tall and bursting with beautiful purple flowers every spring. My mom still gets updates each year as they start to bloom, which she forwards to me. And all I can think is, "That's my friend! Thriving some twenty years on, there it is."

The other tree nearly died, too. It lived in a pot for far, far too long. I wanted to plant it somewhere in my parents' yard, but my mom was reluctant. Eventually, we agreed to put it in the far back garden. It grew okay for many years, despite the shade, but in all these years, it's never bloomed.

Last year, the massive tree casting massive shadows over the lilac and the garden cracked in half and fell. It tumbled into the garden, crushing part of the nearby shed and destroying a few plants beneath it.

It missed my lilac by inches.

The clean-up is long done. The rest of the tree has been cut down, and my lilac has full sunlight for the first time in fifteen years. It won't bloom this year, I know. But it's got new shoots up. It's taller than ever. I spent half an hour a few weeks ago praising it for surviving all this time, dreaming about its future and telling it how I believe it'll become the tall beauty it's always been meant to be.

I think next year, I'll see flowers.

[emberglowfox]

Keeper -- a short comic about an angel meeting a robotic lighthouse keeper that doesn't know the world has already ended. Made in about 18 hours for a 24-hour 24-page* black and white comic challenge (that I arrived late to, ha.)

*the actual submission does not include the cover, which was created after the fact for this post.

This was a really great learning experience as someone who's... never really made a completed comic. I ended up really attached to the story by the end of the project (possibly due to all-nighter deliriousness lol) and ultimately am very proud of what I made.There are some things I'd still like to change, particularly text placement, but in keeping with the spirit of the challenge I've elected to leave it as is.

[lylahammar]

Randomly thinkin about Chilchuck today, and how he tries sooooo hard to self sabotage

like for example, other half foots on the island think that he's a greedy asshole who only cares about money, and he does nothing to try to disprove that

but then there's this omake at the end of book 9 that shows that people treat half foots fucking TERRIBLY and chilchuck started a union to protect them

and then in the bicorn chapter, he doesn't want Marcille to keep digging into his personal business so he tells her he CHEATED ON HIS WIFE

but he just COMPLETELY fuckin lied about that and made himself sound so much worse than he is bc he's afraid of being vulnerable with people and would rather everyone believes he's a shitty person so he can keep them at a distance

and the thing that's memed so often is that he refuses to help with fighting most of the time because it's not part of his contract

but if you take this lore into account (not gonna add those particular images to this post simply bc I've used them in so many posts already LMAO) along with this tidbit from the world guide:

then it's like. yeah he has to keep his weight low so if he gets killed or severely injured and has to be healed, that could be really dangerous for him. and even if he was healed at that point he'd end up being a burden to the party after that point, he would be too dangerously thin/sickly to be able to help.

Like, Chilchuck has so many things about him that APPEAR to be character flaws, but every single one of them has a very reasonable explanation. He just leans into the mischaracterization bc he's emotionally withholding and can handle people thinking he's an asshole more than he can handle opening up to anyone. he's such a well thought out and interesting character

[youregonnabeokay-kid]

i think a lot of people (especially those who haven’t read the books) are underestimating Hades

yes, he presents as the sassy queer uncle who’s done with his family’s drama, but he’s not “just some guy”

when his Helm is stolen, no one knows about it. he uses his own resources and orchestrates a plan to bring Percy to the underworld alive, all while managing an entire freaking kingdom

he doesn’t threaten war because he doesn’t have to and he knows it. unlike Zeus, he keeps a level head and thinks about the situation logically

think about Percy’s priorities throughout the show, look at what the flashbacks are teaching us about him and his relationship with others. think logically. this is a 12 year old kid who grew up with a single mom and no friends

his priority is his mom, it’s always been his mom and Hades knows that. Percy’s worst fear is losing his mother and Hades uses that against him

he takes Sally before Poseidon claims Percy because he has eyes everywhere. he already knew who Percy was and he already had a plan formed before Percy even set foot in camp

when he greets Percy and Grover he isn’t surprised, relieved, or agitated because he planned this. he knew that Percy would come to him whether by force or by his own choice (for my book readers, think about this in comparison to how Zeus reacts to the situation. Zeus comes off as desperate and angry, whereas Hades is at ease. annoyed, sure, but never panicked)

when he offers them pomegranate juice it’s in the guise of politeness and humour but it has an underlying meaning. Percy knows the stories about Hades and Hades knows that he knows. the pomegranate juice is a reminder, it’s Hades demonstrating his power without outright threatening Percy. it’s him going “I can make something as small as a pomegranate seed into a weapon” it’s him asserting his dominance and control over the situation

he leads them to a seating area clearly made for their arrival. another reminder that he knew they were coming and Sally stands, frozen in the middle of it as a reminder of what they have to lose

when he learns that it’s Kronos behind the robberies he immediately offers sanctuary to Percy, Grover, and his mom. Kronos, the king of titans, the father of all Gods, and a being who could once tear the world in two with the snap of his fingers, wants Percy, and Hades offers to protect him because he’s that powerful

so yes, Hades makes dad jokes and he talks in a way you wouldn’t expect an all-powerful being to talk, but he isn’t “just some guy”

he’s powerful, he knows it, and he shows just enough of that power to absolutely terrify Percy

[staff]

tumblr tuesday: the ineffable husbands return!

...and with them, your ineffably beautiful fanart of Aziraphale and Crowley. It's also worth pointing out that most of this art was posted in the last day or so. The show has been out for a mere weekend. Please never change, Tumblr <3

(This post goes out to everyone who has seen the second season. SPOILERS AHEAD. MILD BUT STILL SPOILERY. PLEASE BE WARNED.)

@fiovske:

@lydiajoypalmer:

@snarkspawn:

@ppaemeu4:

@eden-4004:

@blewsee:

@forestofsprites:

@surfinded:

@wisesnail:

@m-arouet:

@poreyneel:

@egg-oo:

@liinchaan:

@dragonroad98:

@stab-of-hunger:

@tanjashu:

@yelloartt:

@nicosusername:

@nickeldean:

@iwillluvs:

@mistysblueboxstuff:

@pinkravat-art:

@edibleeel:

@legbird:

@loboniehlar:

@lookitsstevie:

[enderscribbles]

drinking buddies (ft. textpost from @demilypyro)

(edit: Added ID made by @princess-of-purple-prose! embedded in alt text.)

[suiheisen]

the h in nhl stands for homoerotic

bonus intricate rituals:

[hrokkall]

"Sad Cat Poem" by Spencer Madsen

[that-house]

Potion Vendor FAQs:

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.

Do you sell love potions? No.

Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.

Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.

Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.

Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.

So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.

Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.

Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.

Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.

Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.

Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.

Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.

So can you make poison potions? No.

Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.

Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.

How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.

You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.

Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.

Road trip? He lives in Seattle.

Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.

For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.

And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.

Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.

Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.

You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.

So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.

Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.

Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.

Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.

What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.

You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.

Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.

Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.

Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.

Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.

Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.

Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.

When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.

When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.

Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.

Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.

Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.

Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.

I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.

How did you know that? …I’m psychic.

Yeah? No.

You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.

Did you just miss a turn? Probably.

Are you sure we’re not lost? No.

You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.

Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.

Would it help if I said it was? It would.

Is it getting dark? Soon.

Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.

Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.

Should we find a motel? Sure.

One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.

You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.

Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.

Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.

How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.

How many beds are there? One.

Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.

Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.

How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.

Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.

For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.

Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.

Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.

Are you asleep? …

Yes? …

Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …

What should I say? …

Did you know that I had a really nice day? …

Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …

Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …

Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …

Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …

Did you know that you’re warm? …

Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.

Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.

Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.

What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!

Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.

You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!

Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.

Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.

You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.

Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.

Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.

How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.

Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.

150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.

Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.

And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!

Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.

And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.

So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.

So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!

Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.

Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.

Are you done eating? Yep.

Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.

How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.

Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.

Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.

What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.

Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.

Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…

Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.

Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?

When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.

Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.

What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.

Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.

What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.

Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.

Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.

What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.

I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …

Did he get his body modified? …

What sort of surgery could do that? …

How is he still alive? …

Did a fucking wizard do it? …

WHY? …

HOW? …

Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …

I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.

Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.

Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.

Can we do that? Of course.

Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.

Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.

Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.

Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.

How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.

How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.

That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.

Wanna fuck? God yes.

Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.

…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.

How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.

How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!

Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.

When will we get there? Noon-ish.

Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.

Is this Seattle? Looks like it.

Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.

Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.

So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.

Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.

So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!

How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.

Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.

Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.

Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!

Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!

Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.

I just caught this, but, FAQ? …

As in Frequently Asked Questions? …

How many times is Frequent? …

Have you known everything all along? …

How many times have you done this? …

Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!

And you say that every time? Yes. I do.

Do you love me? Yes.

How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.

Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.

Can I go now? Please don’t.

But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.

How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.

What happens at the end of this? It begins again.

And do I get replaced with someone else? …

Do I get replaced? …Yes.

Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!

You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.

How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?

Did you know my name is Alice? …

Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …

Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …

Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!

Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.

Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.

Be good to the next me, okay? I will.

Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.

Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.

What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.

What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!

What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.

Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.

What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.

What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!

So I should keep repeating something? Yes!

I love you? I love you too.

I love you? Again.

I love you? Keep going.

I love you? I’ll just let you talk.

I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!

I love you? Now can you make it a statement?

I love you.

You did it?

I did it!

You did it!

We broke the loop.

What now?

Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.

And then?

Whatever we want, forever.

I think I’d like that.

Remember that song from the beginning?

The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?

We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?

Let me off, let me in

Let others battle

We don’t need to battle

And we both shall win

Pressed in my palm

Was a stone from the beach

The perfect circle

Gave a moment of peace

Now I’m lying on the floor

Like I’m not worth a chair

I close my eyes and imagine

I’m not there.

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[lazylittledragon]

you know what fuck it we’re doing dadstarion

[idiotsonlyevent]

i wonder where the idea of chilchuck being a deadbeat came from when theres like. no textual evidence for it ?

he knows what all of them are up to; he still writes to flertom and she sent him his neckwarmer, so that to me implies that they at least have a somewhat positive relationship?

its more ambiguous with meijack and puckpatti, but since meijack is also a picklock, i wouldn't be surprised if he taught her himself, considering how trades are often passed down through families, and because he talks about sending people to her if he dies.

also the way he talks about puckpatti is very like... it's obvious he wants her to take things more seriously, but he's accepting, and his tone here reads more fond to me than anything else.

like, he keeps his daughters' old toys under his desk? that doesn't scream 'deadbeat' at all, it screams 'empty nester' who doesn't know how to reach out or is scared to do so

EDIT: i know a lot of the 'deadbeat dad' stuff is jokes, but some people are Not joking and genuinely think chilchuck is a bad dad. this post is not saying that you cant joke about it; it is just outlining what canon shows regarding his (clearly positive) relationship with his kids.

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.