#(also just putting this here for reference)

[badkarma1998]

Okay, Im about to get a lil long winded and rambley, so I just wanna start by saying:

If this resonates with you in any way, I highly encourage you to read the full paper.

And now dont mind me while I have a moment here:

So, I have personally been debating internally the idea of gender and how I relate to it, and it's been bugging me for a good while that nothing fit. And THIS FITS!!!

And I know I have mutuals and followers who also describe something like this.

I've been joking for years that I'm "woman by convince" or Ive commented on not feeling cis but not feeling strongly enough to transiston in any way. Recently I've adopted referring to myself as nonbinary, because it's a little closer to my experience than being cis, but it's also still not quite right?

And then I read this paper and, guys I havent felt this way since I was a confused and broken feeling teenager who found the word "asexual". Its that feeling of finding language to describe your internal complexity, and finding out that yes other people also feel that way

Also I want to highlight this bit, because I think it hits on why I keep coming back to questioning my gender despite feeling overall apathetic about the whole thing:

Even in saying that I'm nonbinary (or if i adopted the term "agender") its like when someone asks you what your favorite food or favorite color is and you don't have one. So you just say something because for some reason you can't say you dont have one. (An experience I associate strongly with being ace also: aka being asked "who do you have a crush on?" When you dont have a crush on anyone)

Similarly, applying any gendered label (even one that implicates a lack of gender) feels like it reduces the whole of me down to an oversimplification.

Which, granted, is useful for every reason any label is useful. Given the current societal structure we exist in, these labels help us try to roughly understand one another through our limited scope of language. For this reason, I know that logically this revalation likely aligns someone like me through an outside lense as being "agender". But it doesn't make "agender" feel any more like a rounded oversimplification of an internal complexity.

I also want to highlight these quotes from the paper, though honsetly yall should just read it, every quote from every individual interviewed touches on some aspect of what I've been wrestling with about this

But specifically:

For me personally, I think "woman" is probably a term that's not too far off from my particular permutation of gender (such that it is). I like how she/her pronouns sound the best, I usually prefer a femme presentation, and I don't mind being perceived as a woman. At the same time, there are narratives tied into the concept of womanhood that are...repellant, maybe?...to me, … [including] woman as mother, woman as nurturer, and woman as romantic/sexual partner. I don't vibe at all with the word womanhood, either. To put it another way, I think that much of my resonance with women comes from socialization and shared experiences with other people who use that label rather than perhaps any inherent shared feeling. … Of course I support and respect people who feel gender to be a strong thing in their life but personally I feel like it's not real and basically a construction. At the same time, I don't feel like I'm doing much that's disruptive to dominant constructions of gender, so a term like nonbinary or genderqueer feels incorrect. So yes, perhaps detached is a good term. … Let me put it this way: if somebody came up to me and insisted that I was a man, I would disagree with them. If somebody came up to me and just insisted that I wasn’t a woman, I wouldn't care. … Personally, I'm not sure that I intrinsically feel much in the place where gender should be. (Amanda, 24)

Because it sums up exactly how I view my relationship with my gender, specifically as an afab person

And

Some respondents indicated lingering gender attachments—in the midst of broader gender detachment—because they did not see alternative language to convey their relationship with gender. For example, Lydia said:

I consider myself gender queer. I mostly use female pronouns (she/her) since that’s easiest for me, but I don’t feel especially connected with being a woman other than my appearance, which indicates to other people that I am a woman. The problem I have is that there doesn’t seem to be a descriptor for gender that exactly describes how I feel or see myself. Being considered a woman doesn’t cause me distress so I usually just consider myself a queer woman since queer is kind of all encompassing but woman just feels slightly off the mark for me. (Lydia, 31)

However, when I later told Lydia that I had heard similar things from other asexual individuals I had interviewed and asked if she felt detached from gender (thereby offering her alternative language), she enthusiastically said that she did.

Detached from gender at large is a great way to describe it. It's not that I experience any kind of dysphoria like someone in the trans community might feel; I just don't feel especially attached to femininity or masculinity. Mostly, I feel kind of neutral about gender as a whole. … Even calling myself non-binary or agender doesn't feel right, other than in philosophically. I don't really think about myself in terms of gender, and trying to fit a label on myself seems kind of unnecessary. The labels that were more or less assigned to me at birth work well enough and don't really cause me any discomfort so I go with it, but they don't really explain me. The closest thing I can come up with is queer since it explains that I don't fit the norm of gender or sexuality but doesn't say anything specific. Since I don't even know how I would describe my gender other than through a long explanation like this, queer is the best I can come up with. (Lydia, 31)

Because again, it just describes so well my feelings too, especially about why i default to using the gendered language we have and being fine with she/her pronouns, even though something about them still feels wrong.

And as I was reading all of this, I couldn't help but feel like it just clicked. Of course being ace and being "detached for gender" would overlap. Which, I kinda stumbled into explaining why to my friends really well, at least for myself personally:

Honestly, part of why im finding this particular paper so intriguing is because I see my gender quite similarly to how i see my sexuality.

I do not understand sexual desire or attraction the way that I have been told is inherit. Sex is a thing, it is an object to me, one that I have picked up and fiddled with, but not one that is attached to me the way it is to my peers. And gender is much the same. Conceptually these objects, these tools of sex and gender and attraction, I am told that every living person is born with them attached and as important to functionality as an organ. Yet here they are laying on a table before me and either I choose to use them the same way I choose to participate in a hobby, or they are picked up by others and stuck to my being in ways that range from neutral to painful

And like, I honestly dont even know what my goal is with sharing all this here. I just feel such a catharsis and sense of being seen, and I want to share that with anyone else who feels the same.

i feel so seen!!

(twitter thread)

[starcurtain]

Aventurine Fans Eating Good

Finished the Fate/Star Rail collab last night and enjoyed it much more than I expected. I don't know much of anything about the Fate series, so I figured it would be a slog, but it was both funny and a nice breather after the main story of 3.4. Also--a surprising feast for Aventurine fans in terms of both lore and characterization. I am definitely the fan that was served.

Some of the stand out stuff:

Hope this event will finally put the nail in the coffin for those people who kept insisting that Aventurine secretly hates Jade or that she's abusing him somehow. Their first scene was very nice, giving us insight into their relationship within the IPC; we see them discussing the plan, and it's clear that although Aventurine is very smart and clued into exactly what Jade is thinking, she's also certainly got the upper-hand when it comes to strictly business sense. Watching Aventurine follow her thought process to the conclusion tells us a lot about how Jade has mentored him throughout his time with the Stonehearts.

Aventurine is also willing to discuss his personal concerns and vulnerabilities with her:

And, ridiculously important for lore and dropped completely casually into the conversation: Aventurine told Jade about his dalliance with Boothill. This pretty much confirms that Aventurine and Boothill's deal is to hunt down Oswaldo Schneider specificially, and Jade not only approves of it but is encouraging it. Oh they hate his ass, for real.

This also implies that Aventurine isn't keeping secrets from Jade; he trusts her enough to tell her even about his under-the-table dealings.

I think it's clear they have a much better relationship that most of the players were giving them credit for.

In terms of other treats from the event, look! Aventurine is comfortable sharing space with Boothill and (later) Archer:

I've written before about how the devs normally position Aventurine's character further away from others during conversations and cutscenes, but it seems that he's a little more in his comfort zone now than he was in his first visits to Penacony. It's not just anyone that Aventurine is willing to stand shoulder to shoulder with--it says a lot that he was willing to put aside the space bubble here!

(This is also funny because Boothill in particular is the opposite of Aventurine, in that he's almost always positioned RIGHT NEXT to the people he's talking to--the space bubble is kind of nonexistent--but it still looks hilariously out of place to see him standing so close to Aventurine because Aventurine doesn't normally stand with anyone lol.)

Also: Boothill making a reference to xenophobia while the two indigenous characters from colonized worlds are on the screen? Wow, one of the members of the writing team actually remembered and cared enough to make note.

In fact, I thought whoever handled the writing for this questline in general did a much better job than the HSR writers normally do with characters' pasts affecting their current behaviors. Aventurine's consistent discomfort with the Master-Servant dynamic was excellent to see.

"Dead class structures"--my goodness, the word "master" showed up and the Proletariat just jumped straight out of Aventurine. A very good note for those interested in his characterization.

And speaking of characterization, Archer and Aventurine's dynamic was a definite high-point for the collab questline. I don't even know anything about Archer but his chemistry with Aventurine was great--mostly because it was actually just Ratio/Aventurine with a stand-in because the devs are allergic to giving Dr. Ratio screentime nowadays lol.

Aventurine's type is clearly "strapping, competent, reliable men who will lightly bully me into becoming a better version of myself."

We even got the "Trust me and my plan so we can trick everyone and beat our enemy." The fact that Archer was able to catch on with just one sentence from Aventurine was great, and the fact that he was even worse than Ratio at acting was pretty funny ngl. (Well, at least he put less effort into it!)

Archer and Ratio even have the same complaints:

Ratiorine fandom, I am politely requesting 5956760 fanfics of Ratio's eye twitching at some random new man showing up and folding Aventurine's laundry without asking and then just "poof" disappearing lol. Thank youuu~~

And pointing out some other fun snippets:

Aventurine being a horror movie buff was not on my bingo card, but it's an interesting tidbit to add to his characterization. Understandably difficult to spook someone who has beaten people to death with his bare hands to survive the Hunger Games. You know he's the person who watches the gory slasher flicks and is just devouring the popcorn while everyone else is getting grossed out.

Also interesting to note that Aventurine, the "give me two of everything at the highest-end luxury shops in Penacony" guy also apparently still shops at "interstellar junk markets." You can take the community bazaar out of the nomad but you can't take the nomad out of the community bazaar, apparently.

I want to know what dev managed to get this past the censors!! 😂

And Aventurine's tininess... I know the devs writing this quest were Aventurine fans; I know it.

This moment in general:

When are we getting our Bonnie and Clyde/Aventurine-Boothill western shootout with Oswaldo Schneider, Hoyo, when?

And, despite the tone of Aventurine's text messages post-Penacony sounding very much "I want to be friends" with the Trailblazer, it seems that, canonically, Aventurine hasn't made much headway in actually becoming Trailblazer's friend. Trailblazer's reactions to Aventurine were pretty :T through the event, and Aventurine's first claim is that maybe Trailblazer wouldn't even want to come out to meet with him. This is why Jade sent you to the Penacony Daycare Holy Grail War to make better friends, Aventurine. You gotta work a little harder at it, my dude.

Finally, I really appreciated this event taking the time to acknowledge that Aventurine is actually extremely smart and adaptable, capable of keeping a cool head under pressure, figuring out the enemy's strategy, immediately developing a plan to solve the problem, and executing it flawlessly.

And even more so than just painting Aventurine as a smart cookie who can see through others' ploys, I love that the reason Aventurine was able to see the ploy wasn't because of his status as a movie buff... It was because of his interest in business.

Aventurine can be a fake idgafer about his work all he wants, but when it comes right down to it, he was so interested in Grady's marketing strategies and business acumen that he went through the entire archive of Grady's works and learned the full history and tactics of this completely no-name director from a totally foreign planet. He's being unironic when he calls himself a "fan" of Grady's--not of Grady's terrible films, but of Grady's ability to achieve success.

My boy isn't just smart, he's still building his portfolio of tricks to get ahead in life.

Repeatedly, Archer asks whether Aventurine doesn't want to be a "hero of justice" sometimes, to which Aventurine never really fully responds. Yet in the team's time of greatest need in this quest, Aventurine was the actual "hero" of the moment--not using noble tactics, but by being true to exactly who he is: the shrewd schemer whose knowledge of underhanded methods and the cutthroat world of commerce can be applied even to righteous causes.

Aventurine's character in this event was, in essence, a perfect microcosm of the IPC's role in the game's overall story. Their methods might be less than ideal, their perspectives on right and wrong might be skewed at a 90 degree angle--but when push comes to shove, you're really going to need someone who isn't worried about getting their hands a little dirty, someone with the know-how to scheme their way out of the pitfalls, but someone who--deep, deep down--might (mostly) have their heart in the right place.

A++ Aventurine content, thank you Hoyo~

[mebis-rain-world-corner]

So, the shoreline serpentine mechanisms

One can get a vague idea of what they probably did in the past ("bite?") with a glance, and they're likely mainly there to allude to the leviathans and look cool but I wanted to analyze them a bit more regardless

And for that, karma gates will once again be pretty useful as a reference point

this serves as both a quick view at how the "head" functions and also how/why these are different from leviathans and not leviathan bones or the like

Now, the mechanism could still be interpreted in a few ways

if we stick closely to the karma gates then the "maws" would retract into the side rails

However, this leaves the center in an awkward state

it could be just a nondescript pattern like in the karma gate

it could also be a mechanism akin to drills

But, I'd like to offer another possibility: zipper maw

combining both options, maybe these dock with each other, one going into the side rails of the other, although there might also be a different head that docks into this like the following layer in the gate/the clampers of a leviathan, kinda similar to the primary cortex conduits in downpour superstructures

it could also just dock into some other structure, like a plug and a socket

Now, on the support beam theory

This is a blueprint for a support beam used for the construction of early industrial areas. You can see these in use not too far from here.

"not too far from here" sounds like it's referring to something in shoreline

now, an iterator's perception of distance would mean this "not too far" could cover anywhere in the whole game

but that would be damn boring

From a writer's perspective, this sounds like it's talking about some kind of structure in particular, and these "serpents" are the most unique structure nearby, short of the chimneys that connect the water surface to the underground sections

One could argue they aren't "in use", but what structure is in use?

One other alternative could maybe be the pillars/collumns in the garbage wastes ruins near the shoreline gate

Worth noting that there are support beams similar to these serpents, although there are no perfect matches anywhere, and the panel assets from the body segments are used for vents and walls

Fun little idea, but what if the mechanism is an assembly, expanding that segmented box body?

no real basis for this other than perhaps just how long some of these are and the vague idea of "construction equipment", but it occurred to me and i wanted to animate it

Now, here's a puzzling pair of serpents

particularly short, coming out of the top of a chimney, and connected to cogs and cables, these strongly give off the impression of construction machines meant to flex and twist and grab stuff

As previously shown though, those "maws" arent exactly designed to clasp shut, so I'm having a hard time imagining them grabbing anything; but oh well, perhaps these do be grabby hands, oversized trash worms that put collumns in place rather than junk into holes

[cheschesterpossum]

(In reference to that Yandere Transformers post about turning humans into Cybertronians, bc it's kinda scaaary. And I like thinking about the angst.)

(It could be something regular Rung and Primes do as well, but it fits SG! Rung and Primes slightly better.)

Hear me out.

SG! Rung, and the Primes figuring out how to transform humans into Cybertronians so they could preserve their (Favorite) creator, and not lose them in, like, 50 Earth Years. Once they're transformed, Y/N has to learn how to adapt to their new life as one of the creatures they helped to create. Unable to go back to their old life even if they wanted to.

I imagine that they'd probably be, like, a regular Cybertronian? They aren't gonna start out godlike, or anything. lmao. The only thing they do have going for them is the knowledge of how to control/kill switch other Cybertronians. Which is strong, sure, but not something that can't be countered with careful planning. Also, Primus, and the Primes themselves answer to them. So yeah.

Them starting out normal won't stop their clingy immortal son, and grand children from making them immortal as well, though. Maybe even giving them Prime/God status of their own volition to allow them enough strength to keep up with them.

-Perchance Anon

Oh my goodness how are you so big brained Perchance???

(I know you meant for this to be wholly platonic with Rung, but I feel like this could be both romantic or platonic)

(Also SG Primes are all asshole, they're the one putting the cogless bots in the mine, not Sentinel. Just my way of interpreting sg universe for tfone)

The SG!Primes and SG!Rung, as much as they're a bunch of evil little shits they're absolutely terrified of losing their y/n (again). The abandon arc left them all with abandonment issue whether they're aware or not.

The first time you're gone maybe temporary (for a long gosh darn time by the pocket universe's standard) but you being gone of old age is permanent, and that terrify them to the core.

I like to think y/n start off as a cogless bot at first bcs the Primes and Rung were pretty hasty when turning them into a cybertronian. I'm making y/n small af compared to their brats (like how small cogless bot are compared to the Primes. They're massive wtf). Adapting to your new form is going to be pretty tricky but worry not as your beloved creations are here to guide you! (Also for some reason you still have your human organs but they're made of metal now, but your heart is replaced with spark, just bcs I like weird body horror)

Can you imagine how scandalous that would be? The Primes? Having a cogless bot around? And catering towards their needs? Did the Primes just call the bot 'SIRE'? Letting that COGLESS bot boss the PRIMES around? Wait wtf do you mean Primus and the Matrix flog towards the bot as well? WHO IS THIS???????

Even SG!Sentinel is baffled as well, he have no idea where y/n come from, their origin and who they are (whenever he try to ask the Primes get strangely hostile and on guard towards him). But other than that he's really concerned for you, because like he's been around the Primes for a long time (not as much as you but shhhh) so... were you kidnapped? (Tbh yeah) Are they keeping you as a pet? Are they keeping you hostage?

I do think they'll make you a lot more durable than the average bot, like INSANELY durable, so you could keep up with them and wouldn't get crushed by just a hug. You're a walking indestructible cogless deity or demi-god now.

Aside from that I'd like to add a side effect: considering y/n have a bond that runs deep with with Primes and Primus (Rung), their spark is connected to them. The Primes and Rung can feel your emotions and can sense when you're in danger or distress- this caused you to have less personal space- bcs whenever they remotely sense that you're upset at something they're getting there at light speed.

One of the High Guard: *makes a not so funny pun*

SG!y/n: erm... haha-

*The wall besides you two explode as your brats(Primes) burst through it, and they're ready to give the high guard a demotion (death)*

Either that or Rung strike the "offending" bot down with a lightning strike out of nowhere. Doesn't matter if it's sunny or you two are inside a building.

Due to that everyone is walking on eggshells whenever they're in y/n's presence, they value their lives.

When you recharge (if you're not being cuddled by SG!Rung in a bone breaking grip already) you can hear whispers of Rung's voice, not in your audials but in your processor. He whispers many things and many reassurance, sprinkle in some manipulation to keep you here.

Did I forget to mention you don't have much freedom either? They keep you in the palace 24/24 because they're paranoid of y/n escaping or being stolen by someone or getting hurt or worse killed. Even if you go outside there will always be company, whether it'd be the Primes, (usually) Rung or the few high guards they trust to be with you.

The Primes would constantly try to show off and one up eachother now that their sire is back in their life, just like good old time. But more often than not Rung would whisk y/n away when they're not looking.

On the upside you're treated very well! The way they act to others and towards you is like black and white. You could call the Primes by their name (not title) or nickname anytime you want ("Hey Megatronny"), but if other bot calls them that? That bot is dead.

You can still scold them and boss them around ("Onyx! Stop trying to peck your siblings processor!), and they'd listen (hopefully). They're more like clingy spoiled brats to you than anything. The power you held is... terrifying to everyone else ngl.

You may never be able to get back to your world or be human anymore. But hey you have free healthcare, food, no need to pay rent, no need to pull an all-nighter for work now! Not like you can escape Rung's watchful optic anyway👁👁 (from having a job to being unemployed, best glow up yet).

And ykw? Feel free to activate and use the Matrix of Leadership anytime you want. You still can't believe the toy you bought from ebay turned divine.

[who-talks-first]

Welcome to the fandom, friends. I have been neck-deep in SW since I was 7 years old. (Cass would relate to that) I've been (unknowingly) writing fanfic since I was 11 or so.

SassySnowPerson puts you on the right track. Just make it up! Star Wars is made-up. George Lucas took the real word "android" shaved off the "an" and made droids! (which Luke canonically refers to as "robots" anyway!)

If there's not a Wookiepedia page, good. It means you have something called "creative liberty" and George Lucas is your bitch for today.

Coin any term you want if there's not one. And there's outdated terms. It was "permacrete" when I was a kid and iirc it's something else now. That's okay. Use the term that feels better to you.

If people nitpick, they're not here to have fun like you and I are. They're here to be bullies. Not only do you not have to impress them, but take comfort knowing that you can never impress them. That's a them problem. You're writing for you, a SW fan, and me, another SW fan. And I already love what you wrote. And I haven't even seen it yet.

Here's a tip for names: take an existing name and just spell it differently. There's a character named Jessika. (How about Amandra?) Choose a random noun, like Wedge! (Hello there, Pendant!) Or just use a traditional Christian name like Luke. (We all know a few Michaels.) You can also bastardize other people's religions and get names like Padmé! (Shinto reporting for duty!)

Have fun. That's the most important part. You should have as much fun writing as you do consuming the media. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

Please reach out if you want to chat!

(I do recommend you check out the Original Trilogy and more so you can better appreciate the action in the new shows. But it's not required reading.)

Andor makes me want to write a Star Wars fanfiction but it's so scary. What if I write "Glup Shitto was sitting on the balcony, drinking coffee and reading his favourite book", but someone comments "didn't you mean he was drinking glop-goppy and reading a holo-journal? 🤨" so I open wookiepedia to check it out and it turns out that they also never invented balconies in the star wars universe and Glup Shitto can't read because of the freak accident he suffered in the episode 10 of the 2024 show "Jar-Jar and Babu Frik". What then.

[jnw1813]

Viltrumite Biology Headcanons

Obviously, Viltrumites are a lot like humans in appearance, but what do they have that we don't? As a race who are the definition of ‘survival of the fittest’, they've spent generations cultivating the best genes, everything about them is dedicated to strength, power, and perfection.

Both sfw and nsfw headcanons below the cut.

Sfw:

Secondary eyelids– aka the ‘nictitating membrane’. A thin, see-through eyelid that protects their eyes from dust, immense heat, and keeps their eyes moist while maintaining vision. Useful for Viltrumites who have traversed every environment and fight a lot.

Fangs/sharper canines. Ancient Viltrumites all had these teeth, but as they evolved as a society, some saw it as animalistic and a sign of ‘barbarism’. There were many disagreements on it among them, as on one hand it was another tool, another weapon to use against their enemies; on the other, only animals on their planet had such sharp teeth. Were they animals too, then? Them?

After the Great Purge, there were only a few Viltrumites with fangs left. These include: Conquest, Thula, Nolan, and later Mark (his sharpened throughout teenhood, a small sign his powers were coming in). The opinion amongst the last 50 something Viltrumites wavers and changes about fangs, but since Conquest has them and they've seen how he uses them in combat… well, I'm sure you can imagine what side they fall on more often than not.

But fangs weren't just for ripping throats out. In some ‘tribes/units/regiments’, a ‘mating bite’ was their version of claiming a mate/marriage. Even with their regenerative abilities, these bites would typically take ages to heal or even scar permanently. Something in their saliva, most likely.

Not biology related, but: back when there were more Viltrumites, I imagine they'd refer to different groups of Viltrumites by militaristic terms rather than races like humans. Ancient Viltrumites used terms like tribes and such.

Did you know that humans have stripes? We do! They're referred to as ‘Blaschko's lines’, and are only visible under ultraviolet lights. Just like humans, Viltrumites have their own– but instead of stripes, they have spots.

Conquest himself has spots similar to a jaguar's (he's your kitty now), and on the off chance you'd get to see them, you'd see they're most prominent on his back, shoulders, hips, and outer thighs. (On another note: Mark takes after a human more here, having stripes. We have them from birth, after all, and his Viltrumite DNA didn't kick in fully until he was an adult.)

Adrenaline: I'm putting this here because the misinformation in this fandom in regards to this theory is crazy, but— yes, Viltrumites also have adrenaline, just like humans. If anything, Viltrumites get an adrenaline rush more often with how much they go into battle, but maybe, just maybe, it becomes less effective/stronger the older a Viltrumite gets since they've experienced it so much while younger. But that's a big maybe.

Female Viltrumites actually get a ‘boost’ during pregnancy since they're carrying another life. Humans, meanwhile, suffer during pregnancy. It confounds Conquest at first (and it confounded Nolan when he learned too), but he gets used to it. If you get pregnant, he genuinely needs to be told what you can and can't do because he doesn't get why you're suddenly so incapable. Your ankles are swollen? The smell of cooked meat makes you sick? Everything hurts?? He's so confused but goes along with it, probably carries you around everywhere once you reach six months.

Still on the topic of pregnancy– human babies are born at 9 months before their skull is fully developed, reason? A fully developed skull wouldn't fit through a woman's vaginal canal during birth. Viltrumite women don't have this problem as their body can heal from it easily, so they carry their babies for a full year. Again, if you're pregnant and go into labour at 9 months, Conquest– even if he's been told before– is still worrying because it's not time yet! What if the baby is extra underdeveloped?? (The baby will be fine– Mark was, after all. Humans and Viltrumites are compatible for a reason.)

Hell hath no fury like a new parent Viltrumite: Much like how women's hormones kick in and make them adore their babies, Viltrumite parents put their baby above all else. Since they're not born with their powers, baby Viltrumites are the most vulnerable creatures on Viltrum, so it's up to their parents to lock in and protect them until they get their powers.

This is further proven when you give Conquest an heir. He'll proudly show off his baby to the other Viltrumites and this scares them. Even Thragg is weary as Conquest proudly presents his first child to him, because everyone there knows that if they even breathe wrong in that child's direction they'll be wiped out. Conquest already doesn't give any real fucks about the Empire and his kind. His ‘loyalty’ to them is only because it was all he knew.

Nsfw:

All Viltrumite men have a pouch/sheath for their genitals. With male genitalia specifically being so sensitive and just… hanging there, it's an obvious weak point. So they have a sheath their penis and testicles ‘pull’ into when not in use (re: mating). A sheath is visible only by a thin yet long divot in the skin along his crotch.

Around you, Conquest lets everything hang out, so to speak. It's not like there's anything on Earth that can actually cause him harm, and letting you see how endowed he is both amuses him and gives him a feeling of pride. For Viltrumites, showing off how strong and virile they are is a mating/seduction tactic– and while not employed anymore (modern Viltrumites seeing it as a barbaric, animalistic custom which they are above), Conquest still has the instinctual urge to show himself off to you like that.

Female Viltrumites can similarly ‘pull’ their outer labia together, sealing themselves up. This is to prevent unwanted mating– whether it be because it's nonconsensual or because she finds her mate unworthy.

Now, Viltrumites do not have knots, but the base of their cock is noticeably thicker than the rest. So while the rest of your hole is all relaxed and loose and stretched from his cock, that last bit of himself is thick enough to plug you up no matter what. There'll be no wasting sperm on his watch.

Like human men, Viltrumite men's tips are shaped to scoop out cum (IRL this is just a theory, but we'll say it's true in universe) from other, less worthy breeding partners. Unlike humans though, Viltrumite ‘tips’ can actually thicken and flare a bit– not by a lot, but just enough that all his cum will get pressed against your cervix longer to ensure higher chances of breeding before flooding out of you from excess.

Female Viltrumites vagina muscles are much stronger than a human’s, allowing them to ‘lock' their partner in place until they're sure they've been bred.

On the topic of breeding– Viltrumites can sniff out when you're at your most fertile/virile. Remnants from ancient instincts, they can tell when their partner is ready for a baby, at least physically. If you ovulate, just know Conquest also knows and is barely holding himself back from putting you in a mating press (if you're not ready for kids, that is. Once you are, you'll be pregnant by the end of the day). If you're a guy, it's a little harder for him to tell since, biologically, he's keyed more into telling when a female is ready for mating, but he'd learn over time. He becomes very familiar with your scent/musk regardless. Adaptability is a Viltrumite trait.

Not really biology related but– most Viltrumites are virgins. Conquest is especially, most definitely, a virgin. He's only known his fist as a lover. Despite that, porn (if it can even be called that with how methodical/scientific it is) exists and is readily available for educational purposes so Viltrumites know what to do should they have a mate (yes, it's as clinical and cold as it sounds).

And if you must know– the first time Conquest sees human porn or even just a heated scene in a movie, he has a very… embarrassing reaction. Full on blushing, trying to cover his crotch, avoiding eye contact. (I should make Conquest nsfw headcanons too…)

[yurrrsssss-ghoul]

Hi, so, the way your last post made me think about how Talia and Ra's must have glazed over Bruce to make Damian look forward to meet him and actually make him want to stay with him. I just know that the expectations vs. reality hit Damian hard.

Also Damian is so much better than me because if my dad acted the way Bruce acted, I would have ran back to my mom. Also the way he celebrated his 13th birthday alone in that one comics?? I would have held a grudge and made it everyone's problem ngl.

If you don't know what this person is referring to, see my post.

Also, yeah! I feel like it all comes back to how Talia often tells stories of Bruce through the lenses of the legendary Batman— depicting him as the Dark Knight (tm) that protects the kingdom of Gotham against evil-doers and injustice (typical knight in shining armor story)— that got Damian all too excited, as per every other boys his age tends to be.

Talia tells Damian that his father is a king (albeit not exactly directly), and that gets him excited. The mystery nature that is shrouded around the identity of his father is bound to get anyone excited— because it promises greatness, among other things.

But when Damian meets Bruce, everything crashes and he is met with the reality that alludes to his very world; that his father isn't necessarily a great man, and that his mother just hyped him up to make Damian want to stay. It then opens the possibility of dissapointment, and it's ugly. Because now Damian is facing two grown adults that aren't truthful to him.

I also feel like this encompasses just how forgiving Damian really is. For the better or for the worse, he never really holds grudges against Bruce for all of his wrong-doings. Sure, he'd throw a tantrum here and there, put on a scowl on his face, but ultimately reasoned those things against him.

Damian already has low self-esteem to begin with, but he hides them under the disguise of an egoistical brat whose main sin is pride. Damian feels like the only reason Bruce sees him as a son is because of his biological status, and even then it's never really guaranteed. With Robin, it might cement his place besides Batman, but it also jeopardizes his development with other people.

How many times is Bruce going to assume the worst out of everyone who's interacted with Damian out of pure good-will? How many times does Damian have to chalk it up to him being insecure? How many opportunities or friends must Damian lose just to ensure Bruce that he's not being replaced?

(Batman and Robin 2023, issue #18)

Sure, you might argue that I'm leaving behind a very important context that is Bruce being unsure of his place as a father to Damian—

— but what about Damian?

"Dr. Bashar can't possibly take Damian under his goodwill because he sees some alleged potential" and "If Damian loses his mask, I'll lose him" can be two right things that exist, but the existence of another doesn't negate the other thing.

And Damian would forgive the man— because how could he not? Bruce is his father and he means well and he probably doesn't mean it—

Until it happens again.

Again.

And again.

But it doesn't matter, because Damian would continue to forgive, forever and always— because that's a trend we see in children raised in a dysfunctional home. They'd reason with their parents, the ones causing them pain, justifying their actions even if it means berating them to the nth degree in the process. In due time, Damian fundamentally believes that he might as well be the root of all of Bruce's problems.

You can make an argument. That Bruce doesn't mean the things he said, that he's struggling too, that he doesn't know how to raise a teenager (granted, Damian hasn't always been the most normal teenager), that there's more context needed. However, at that very moment, it still affects Damian, and these will stick to him for as long as he lives.

[changeling-tomfoolery]

There are a lot of posts on this floor that I enjoy the problem I find typically with ones like this is the insinuation that this should be humiliating. The problem with that is I'm not just a sissy I am also a transfem. Mind you this is one of the ones I like. Mostly because there's no way refers to the sissy as a male. And don't get me wrong I don't know about it humiliated, but I do want to be embarrassed a bit.

Is there even really such a thing as a soft humiliatrix?

I guess you'd probably go to bulliedom (there's a joke in this sentence, Can you spot it, the (ie) is redundant, because most bullydoms are usually femme) for that. But you say the problem here is that I'm not ashamed of being trans.

The only way you're going to turn that into humiliation is misgendering me and there is no faster way to turn me off. To be clear, that's not even just being like unaroused, I mean like me emotionally dead, and you being dead to me emotionally. I am an empath that is constantly finding myself in a position of giving people the benefit of the doubt, even for such things as that, and hoping against hope, that they're just ignorant, and not just a s*** human, who doesn't care about the feelings of others, and maybe, just maybe, and someday, just someday, they'll be better. I'm not going to put up with that from a partner though. Absolutely f****** not.

To be clear though, I'm not trying to hate. In fact it was a lot of posts on this blog I absolutely adore, and I know there are as many Sissy-boys as Sissy-girls, at least theoretically. Although to be honest, I am often skeptical of the male identity of a sissy. But likelihood is they're mostly aimed towards a readership of Sissy-boys.

Mind you one of the reasons I like these is that it's largely been captions like these that have moved me towards cracking my egg. It's made for a small amount of inoculation against turfs and transphobes. And again, to be clear I'm not calling this blog transphobic. Seriously though! DON'T @ THEM!

I mean, do the words "woman wannabe" rub me the wrong way? Yes (although, in fairness, I do wanna be a woman) but it's not like I don't get why those words are used, these are largely humiliatrix captions. Honestly respectfulness would surprise me, as, that's pretty much the opposite of the goal here.

And look I am a little bit of a masochist okay. I am a glutton for punishment, otherwise I wouldn't visit this blog nearly as much.

Although that said Trans Friendly Sissiefication Captions And Stories are a little difficult to come by. Especially if you're looking for Sapphic Sissiefication. (invested in which, strangely, there's mostly straight women. I'm not mad about it, just disappointed. *Doing my best disappointed mom face*) Still I very much wish it wasn't.

Perhaps it's using the word Sissiefication as opposed to Feminization in my search. I'll probably look into that later actually. Now that I think about it, the words Trans Bimbofication. Or Transfeminization. With these tags haven't been used yet I'm definitely using them, point of fact, I'm going to be using them regardless. I especially like the word Pixiefication. Maybe Faefication. GenderFaefication.

I don't know I'm going to play around with these. Might start a thing. I'm already trying to start a Saphic-Sissy/Transbian Cult/Coven. And now that I'm thinking about it,.. in the spirit of the upmost respect for women, and femininity, as well as wanting to be a woman and feminine,.. I think I've actually thought of a name for it just now.

The Cult of Sipriotes. If you don't know, look it up. The story of what happens if Artemis is feeling merciful when you see her, assuming of course you either showed her the proper respect, and/or fear. She does, funny enough, find the proper fear quite respectful.

And with that, you know the drill. Praise Diana, Hail Lilith.

Much Love and Thanks to my patron Goddess Mania, for this bout of manic motivation with which I've been posting. I have no idea if actual deities ever read anyone's post, but thanks regardless. I've felt the call of a Cathonic, Lunar Love Goddess, but was unable to pin a name to the vibes for the longest time. I only found your name in a test that claim to tell my Patron Goddess by skimming my Facebook Timeline back when personality test we're all over Facebook. And the more I learn about The Goddess Mania, the more I am certain that the calling comes from she. Although I do wonder if it should worry me that she is one of the furies. Regardless if you're reading this, much thanks for all the many bouts of motivation. And making my brain somewhat of a trip by itself, for like my entire life. And also thank you for noticing me.

Now I need to shave everything, and put on some makeup if I can find some, because I've been doing my absolute damnedest not to look in the mirror this week. I've been feeling more than a little dysphoric. Still thinking I should take some dolled up selfies today, I really do think that would make me feel a lot better. And I'll probably do a selfier too. But I haven't started transitioning yet, so manage your expectations please. I'm not really sure how you'd have any expectations I'm not sure if I've posted any of my older selfies here yet. I say older by from a week ago to 3 years ago,.. I think. Well, the most flattering ones anyways. If I don't feel pretty enough for a selfie by the end of the day, I'll still post those anyways.

But while I'm gone. Please Go Make Some More Sissy Priestesses, and So Mote It Be.

[curio-queries]

OK y'all, I've mentioned in a few places that I have some thoughts on the upcoming album and any content we may get surrounding it's production. So here we go. Before diving in, I want to remind y'all, I have no insider access or direct experience in music/film production. I do have expertise in global collaboration and project management so take everything I'm saying from that viewpoint. I'm just a fan that pays attention to how the things that I enjoy came to be. As always, I'd love to hear your ideas and viewpoints, especially those of you that are in the industry!

If you just want to read my thoughts on potential song-camp-content ya gotta skip waaaay down. I put a gif of the guys camping there. 😉

Let's dive in!

References: (If you haven't watched these, I highly recommend it)

BE album discussion

01JUL2025 WeLive (if you haven't watched since the English subs were posted, definitely check it out)

THE ANNOUNCEMENTS

There is no way the announcements shared during the 01 JUL Live were not highly calculated. It's not even subtle that they had previously talked about exactly what they were going to share. That's why they were teasing Tae about it. That info being as follows:

Expected Album release: Spring of 2026

The team members would all be traveling to the US to jointly produce

World Tour to follow album release

Some benefits of presenting this information this way:

Direct, from-the-members communication. No opportunity for 'others' to spread through leaks and misinformation. This is honestly so relieving. Pretty much every previous album has been shrouded in some level of marketing 'mystery'. But that brings its own host of problems that the we're all kinda over. This time, they're just saying that they're working on an album. No need to continually pester them or in-fight about when it may be happening.

There's also no dramatics being created regarding the members' presence in the US. They absolutely can be accomplishing other things here as well but there's no doubt that album production is happening.

A possible negative consequence though is what could happen if they're not actually ready when they think they will be. All forms of media are used to how frustrating a delayed release can be for the team and consumers alike if the audience has already been made aware of a release date. This is a very real consequence but the team obviously concluded that the risk was mitigated enough or that effects wouldn't be more detrimental than the secrecy. Could also just be creative/strategic exploration.

(One completely unsupported side-opinion that I have though is that the members are clearly signaling that the end goal of this album is the Grammy. I don't actually know enough about the music industry to properly support this but imo, they have been tackling this problem for so many years now and the next attempt is going to focus mainly on networking. Declaring this album will be mostly produced in the US is a statement to the industry and they will be using every opportunity they have in their network to do win it. They have so much more information now with all of the different tactics that were utilized during the solo period. Frankly, i don't care about the Grammys at all but since they still want it, I hope they get it and it can stop being that hill they focus on.)

THE BTS PRODUCTION PROCESS

Time for some blunt honesty in case there are any lingering doubts:

Do not associate the kpop album production with the traditional garage-band group. These are two completely different models with different resources, methodologies, and goals. A kpop album is a business venture, not a passion project.

(frankly most american music is also a business venture these days but that's a separate topic)

Yes, there can be genuine emotions, themes, and messages delivered in kpop. The label of 'genuine' is not reserved for starving artists alone. But do not forget that this is funded by a business and will be justified as such. One is not good or bad, they are just different; some more successful than others in effectiveness of accomplishing their goals.

So what's the process, then? Here are some bullet points of what I'd expect. None of this is set in stone. Just because this is how things have been done before, doesn't mean this is how they'll do it going forward. Some of these items will be concurrent, some will be recurring and some may not happen at all.

Decide to make an album. (We know this step has been complete!)

Determine constraints: resource availability, funding, timeline, contractual obligations, etc.

Resource allocation (aka who will be working on what), what prerequisites exist for each step. Example, it's difficult to create choreography if the music hasn't been created. I'm sure it's been done before but done well...?

Determine song quantity, themes, units, etc. Many of these decisions will likely flex during the project but as we saw in the BE video, they clearly set out to determine goals for each of these.

Outside Resources and obligations: this is honestly one of the least interesting parts for me as a music consumer. I generally don't care about Collaborations, especially with 'big' artists. But that's the game of the industry. Doing favors for others so they can do one back. Connecting with one person to get their audience interested as well. Our guys did a LOT of networking during the solo period and they're likely going to be cashing in and returning those favors as well.

Supplemental development: choreography, tour production, styling, content, performances, bookings, scheduling, etc. Seriously, there's so much this point is almost not even worth mentioning except to remind us that our members are building with the end in mind. Meaning, they absolutely write what they know they can and want to partake in down the line. For example, the choreography to ALL of Jimin's solo work but 'Who' in particular was designed so that he could sing the parts he wanted and not the others.

$$$

So funding alone is a huge piece of this pie that we likely won't really know the details of, but with a group like BTS, it's super interesting. During the solo period, I saw a lot of assumption-based rhetoric that was absolutely steeped in financial 'fairness' outrage. All of the money funding album development, performance creation, distribution, merchandising, etc. had to come from somewhere. It's no coincidence that each of the members had brand ambassadorships right as their solo activities were gaining traction. The guys were getting paid for that and depending on the deal, likely were using that (as well as various other sources) to fund their albums. Producers, choreograpers, camera operators, etc. need to be paid for their time (even in-house ones, y'all remember that joke Yoongi made during the Festa dinner about how much he charges?) The locations for mvs, travel expenses to get everyone there, etc. All have significant costs.

It's expensive, we realize this. And when you know you're going to undertaking an expensive endeavor, there will be some people specifically tasks with finding ways to reduce the spend.

SONG CAMP CONTENT

HYBE has absolutely realized that they can sell us content surrounding the members' music production without impacting the quality of the output.

Prior to the solo period, there were the various tidbits on bangtantv but nothing really substantial other than the BE video. There were also those acronym documentaries (Bring the Soul and whatever the others were) but those were mostly focused around the Tours themselves, not the album production. J-Hope and Yoongi's solo docs started down this same path, with hints of production but there were other activities included to make it more of a 'show'. Jimin's Production Diary is just a portion of production, nothing before and nothing with the promo activities. JK's documentary went back to the formula of including promotional activities and RMs documentary (that i honestly don't remember much of because I was so frustrated with it) attempts to tell the production aspect as well. I wouldn't be surprised if we get a Jin documentary but it will likely cover the tour as well so dont expect it anytime soon. Actually, that's a good idea, let's note the timeline of the solo docs:

J-hope

JitB release: 15 JUL 2022

J-hope in the Box Release: 17 FEB 2023

Distribution: Disney+

Interval: 217 days

Jimin

FACE release: 24 MAR 2023

Jimin's Production Diary Release: 23 OCT 2023

Distribution: Weverse

Interval: 213 days

Suga

D-Day release: 21 APR 2023

Road to D-Day Release: 21 APR 2023

Distribution: Disney+

Interval: 0 days

Jungkook

Golden Release: 03 NOV 2023

Showcase date: 20 NOV 2023

I Am Still release: 18 SEPT 2024

Distribution: Cinematic

Party edition: 11 OCT 2024

Distribution: Cinematic

Series edition: 03 DEC 2024

Distribution: Disney+

Initial interval: 320 days

RM

RPWP release: 24 MAY 2024

Film Festival Screening: OCT 2024

Right People, Wrong Place release: 05 DEC 2024

Distribution: Cinematic

Interval: 130 days

THEORIES

I'm not a betting person but I'd easily wager that there will be some sort of content surrounding this album's production. Regarding the timeline, content and method? That's where it gets tricky. And I do think it depends somewhat on how events unfold. But here are a couple of hypotheticals:

Content: It covers JUST the song camp time period

Timeline: released sometime in the middle of the world tour, about 6 months after the album release. So, fall 2026?

Distribution: first cinematic then later, it will be released to Disney+ with 'extra' content serially.

Another option:

Content: It covers song camp AND tour

Timeline: SEPT-OCT 2027 (aka the initial round of voting for 2026 release Grammys)

Distribution: Cinematic, with HEAVY marketing in the US

Okay, my brain has unloaded for now. I'm sure I explained some of this poorly and I missed other bits I intended to share but let's leave this here for now. What questions and theories do y'all have?

[adivinedragoness]

Probably not very useful unless you speak german, but I'll put this here just in case:

Deke64 streams indie games on occasion, especially at her yearly whish-something event where she plays whatever her viewers wish.

She works as technical producer for an indie game publisher and, even from before getting that job, has many friends in the german indie game scene. For example, her OC is a guest character with it's own side quest in CrossCode. She even made her own indie game.

She cultivated her community for over a decade to be incredibly nice and wholesome so that when she started questioning her gender 2 months ago, she felt comfortable enough to take her community with her on the discovery journey.

Also, her self-made furry 3d Vtuber Avatar is totally awesome with dozens of fur colors and outfits that reference various characters from videogames and other media and can ve changed on the fly.

Oh, and she held once at least one speedrunning world record. (Castlevania Portrait of Ruin)

I understand why the various streamers and YouTubers I follow often make videos of important industry events like your Nintendoes Direct and have big streams for console launches. Like, they make a living off of views and getting on the latest thing is the best way to get views. But also those videos and streams are the ones I personally will skip because I'm just not interested. So anyway does anyone know of any streamers or YouTubers preferably trans women who focus on weird indie shit and some absolute absolute ancient jank?

[tututsu]

No.1 SENTAI GOZYUGER

I wonder if anyone picked up where their clothes came from, wish I could say I came up with them but I did not 😅

Main goal was to choose looks that would fit the characters, something that they would actually wear on the show, and at first I'd cast a pretty wide net when it came down to references, but while selecting an outfit for Ryugi an idea came to mind: pick japanese brands.

Not only it made sense to me, but it was also a great help in streamlining the options. On top of that there is the fact that since Gozyuger is quite japanese-oriented all the pieces I chose felt like natural fits for them.

There are caveats though: Sumino and Kinjiro.

I started both of them prior to my decision to focus on japanese fashion, so their looks are actually a mixture of brands.

Hoeru: Undercover Pre-Fall Men's 2024 + (Coat) Yohji Yamamoto

Rikuo: Undercover Men's Fall-Winter 2024/2025

Ryugi: Yohji Yamamoto Pour Homme SS 2022

Kinjiro: Armani Spring-Summer 2025 + (Jacket) Bathing Ape x Jeff Hamilton + (Shoes) Converse

Sumino: Miu-Miu Spring Ready to Wear 2025 + (Jacket) Junya Watanabe Fall-Winter 2022

Mashiro: UNIQLO SS 2025

My favorite looks would be Ryugi's, but Kinjiro's was certainly the most fun to come up with. The whole young-n-old thing gave me this idea to mix a very "elderly" look with something more "youthful". The Armani outfit is actually an entire mono-color piece with matching jacket and shoes, but I swapped these two elements for the converse and BAPE jacket to spruce him up and I really like how it turned out.

If you guys search for the real looks you might see that I customized all of them: from colors to textures, Ryugi's is the only one that is a direct translation from the real thing.

And there is Mashiro... honestly I just wanted something simple for him, mostly because his default look on the show is so intricate and the whole "godly" thing with him is a tad too pretentious 😂 so it was fun to take him on more silly and care-free direction, that and I wanted to make things easier for myself.

They are all wearing their rings by the way, I just put them in the actual ring-fingers instead of the pointers like in the show.

Doing all these Gozyuger pieces helped me a lot to understand my own drawing style, practice some textures and come up with ideas for new things. I honestly think I got this urge to draw them out of my system, although at one point I did consider drawing the Bridan and Garyudo/Kuon, but I don't see doing them anymore.

Kuon by the way got really close of making here. I actually started working on this set a good while ago, mostly sketching and selecting outfits, and the Mashiro showed up. Not only he is a very fun character but also the sixth sentai, add that to the fact that Kuon's look on the show is already pretty fashionable, so any attempts of mine with him would look reductive, so in the end he got axed.

And lastly, I want to thank the tokusatsu community for being so supportive! I used to watch toku shows when younger, and Gozyuger being a celebration of the franchise picked my interest, had no idea the fans would engage so much with the things I did — it may not seem much, but every note and interaction counts, I'm not by any means a professional and do this for fun, so thank you guys again for showing me some love 🤍

[mysterylover123]

Watching G1 Transformers "Triple Takeover"

"You are either lying or you're stupid."

Transformers Triple Takover. Such alliteration.

HAHA the main Cons put their faces on a mountain. I for one welcome our new decepticon overlords.

OMG SOMEONE besides Screamer is FINALLY questioning Megsy's leadership!? BOUT FREAKING TIME! Blitzwing and Astrotrain you took smart pills at some point?

HAHA Screamer gets tricked by them into diverting Megsy into a trap. And talks to him without opening his mouth. Anyway it's hilarious how easy Megsy is to trick.

"The decepticon who plans his escape is hardly a failure" Wow that was a great line delivery. But poor Screamer they double cross him. Screamer never trust your fellow DECEPT-icons.

To quote Agent Burns (Yes I have seen the Bumblebee movie) "They call themselves Decepticons. That doesn't raise any red flags?"

Anyway Blitzwing recruits a football coach to help him take over the Decepticons. I love this show and how awesomely stupid it is sometimes.

Blitzwing is VERY different here than his TFA counterpart. That version was a loopy triple changer who...never mind.

I wonder what the writers were smoking to come up with this plot? I guess it was supposed to promote Blitzwing's toy? What a weird proper intro to him.

HAHA OMG THIS IS THE ORIGIN OF "I'M STUPID I'M STUPID" Another Screamer scene that's become kind of a meme.

Yeesh. I'm wincing just watching Megs step on his hadn't like that. Also take a drink for "Megsy drops someone off a cliff" haha cries

Ooh OP Megs and Screamer suddenly confronting each other. AND OP ACTUALLY MANIPULATES MEGSY INTO GOING AFTER THEM. Holy shit Prime that was real sneaky.

Megsy then promptly goes Yandere on the triple changers and Devastator because OP acts like "Yes Megsy I totally think the others are cooler than you" Megsy's all like "NO NO NO I'M YOUR RIVAL NOT THEM!" HA!

OP referring to it as a "Domestic Squabble" LOL clowning on Megsy and his huge dysfunctional harem of competitive spouses"

"Megatron is a wimp" "So is Starscream" "Yes but I'm fast" Lowkey that was kinda cool.

Megsy actually takes the high road and doesn't kill them. G1 Megs is weirdly forgiving.

And OMG that was an AMAZING MOMENT with OP at the end. "Thrones are for deceptions. Besides, I'd rather roll." He's just THE BEST.

[existentially-confused-crow]

I think those people seem to not realize that 32°C is 90 Fucking degrees F. Even over here that's HOT and lots of people get hear stroke from it easily (especially if humid)

If you can (I don't know what the humidity is over there), take lots of cold showers (start off cool then work your way to lower temps so you don't go into shock), cool baths, spend the hottest parts of the day in the cellar, wear cool wet rags to help evaporate heat (obviously this won't work if the humidity is high. If the heat can't evaporate, it'll work against you) and switch them out often, sleep with cold/ice packs, drink and eat lots of cold stuff (even ice) to help lower your internal body temp, make sure you're replenishing electrolytes that you lose from sweating (electrolyte drinks or even pickle juice work well), you're not going to want to move around a lot or eat heavy foods (if you can eat at all. I know extreme heat dissipates any appetite I may have). Remember that keeping cool and hydrated is more important than eating normally in this environment. You can last several days with only a few small light foods, (I'm not advocating for this under any other circumstances or for any longer than a couple days at a time. Obviously disregard if you have diabetes or something of that kind) you can't go that long without at least a regular amount of water.

AVOID HOT DRINKS AND LIMIT CAFFIENE (caffeine's a diuretic, and will make dehydration worse)

Use blackout curtains to keep the sun out of the sunniest part of the day

If you have low humidity, wet some sheets and hang over the windows for that heat evaporeation. You can also put a bowl of ice in front of a fan to help cool a room down if you don't have ac.

Learn the symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke and know when to cool down or go to a hospital

Idk how Swedes are about ac but you'll die much more quickly from heat exhaustion/heat stroke than any mold (and that will only happen if you don't change the filter when recommended). And if you do experience allergies from an ac you can get an air purifier. I'm just throwing that out there because I've heard about Germans being weird about ac and I didn't know if that's a European thing or a German thing, or a wariness of mold, or an electrical, or legal thing. (If you can afford and legally have one, I say it's worth investing in, even if you only ever have to install and use it a few times. Granted, over here we usually use window ac units and they cost $100-$500, and that's the kind of AC unit I'm referring to) I put the non-AC unit methods first just because I don't know if they're available, legal, work with your electrical grid, or how much they cost over there.

Again, I don't know you or what you know or what Sweden is like. But hopefully some of these tips will be useful to you. I hope you guys can stay as safe as possible in this weather

Its currently 33°C in Sweden, which is really fucking hot and people are struggling, AND OF COURSE American / Australian fuckers have to chime in like ROFL YOU THINK THAT'S HOT???? MY CUNT IS LITERALLY ON FIRE AS WE SPEAK NOW THAT'S HOT HA HA HA

Like YEAH? You're used to the heat? It's a NORDIC COUNTRY, WE'RE NOT USED TO TEMPERATURES OVER 20-23°C DURING THE SUMMER??? actually fuck off I hate you all.

[thescribblings]

made my first ref sheets!

1/4 2/4

ref sheet masterpost!

INFO ABOUT MY BOY UNDER THE CUT! (Word count: 1536)

TW! MENTIONS OF

SUBSTANCE ABUSE / DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / CHARACTER DEATH!

Bear with me because i'm not good at putting details on paper like this lmao

basic details! he is autistic just like meeeeeeee height: 4'10 age: 19 (however due to being mutated for only 13 of those years he has a tendency to act rather childish) His tails: they're long enough that they're pretty much down to his ankles! They're the same size despite being a genetic mutation. Visually they start off as a single tail and split roughly a third down the lenght, however the split goes a bit further up than it seems as the split in the bone itself is hidden under the skin and muscle. (if you're curious how the split might feel and how stretchy it is, use the webbing between your thumb and pointer finger as a reference!)

he's got three phobias;

Acarophobia (specifically ticks)

Equinophobia (horses)

Autophobia (fear of abandonment)

he's curious and eager to learn anything that excites him, although he tends to struggle focusing and actually understanding what he's being told, but he's trying his best

His weapon! his weapon is made of an unidentified mystic crystal, it's extremely durable and hard, it has never so much as chipped. it started off as just a stick about a foot long and grew with him. basically it's a shapeshifting weapon that can be mastered and controlled with enough practice, but to Entity it always seems to change on its own because of his subconscious needs.

preferences! He loves apples! Mainly due to his autism rather than the flavor or texture itself (although he does like eating them, especially in pastries), if he gives you an apple in any way shape or form, that means that he's saying “Hey, you're one of my favourite people!” and if you either wanted to share said apple with him or simply gave him an apple in return, he would see that as you saying “Hi, you're one my favourite people too!” and he would be ecstatic

his favourite color to wear is definitely red, although he rarely wears clothes at all, lmao

Entity cannot read, or write. No one taught him when he was a little kid, other than when his mama Alma taught him how to read certain recipies, his name, her name, their house address, etc. the important stuff, when it came to books or stories she just read them to him, and he loved it that way

LORE! So, here's some context as to what the hell is going on with my sona! (I'm trying to keep this as straightforward and easy to read as i can, lmao)

He was a regular turtle accidentally mutated at a the young age of 6, he was soon found by a few kids from a nearby town, they brought him home all excited and their parents were shocked, to say the least. He was eventually accepted and taken in by a kind old grandma named Alma. He became a bit of a town cryptid, simply named “The Entity,” this name stuck and is extremely important to him as it is part of his home.

no one knows when or where he found his weapon, it just showed up one day and no one batted an eye at it.

Alma had an adult biological son, he was in his mid to late 30s when Entity joined the family. Alma's son was.. troubled, to say the least. Aggressive, unpredictable, abusing substances left and right and frequently getting into arguements around the town. Alma and everyone knew how troubled he was. Alma always tried to help him, guide him, but frankly the man was a lost cause.

He was not happy when Entity, in his eyes, stole his mother from him. Often yelling at him, breaking his things, basically downright bullying him. He also often hit Entity as a form of discipline, which eventually instilled into Entity that he was only hit when he'd “deserved” it, and to this day he would accept that as a fair punishment.

This torment continued until Entity was 16, a whole 10 years. At this point Entity's crystal stick had become a full sized bo-staff, reaching from the floor to his chest.

The day that changed everything haunts him. It had started off like any other day, helping his mama mix up the waffle batter and cutting up the apples for breakfast, then heading out to play with his friends in the forest and around town. This continued on and off until it was lunch time, but as Entity was leaving the town square to go home, he heard a commotion.

Hurrying back to the fountain, he saw Alma's son yelling and berating and absolutely terrifying a young girl, he was clearly drunk and there was a bit of a crowd around, people tried to calm him down but he wouldn't let them close, only lashing out more and getting louder.

When Entity saw him about to strike the young girl, he panicked. Before he knew it, he was running as fast as he could and leaped, raising his crystal staff and bringing it down on his head. Except it was no longer a staff.

in his panic, he'd turned his staff into a morningstar and killed Alma's son. cracking his skull wide open and searing the image of his exposed brain into his mind.

He regretted this the moment he realized what he'd done. Everyone around started treating him like a monster, like he was inherently dangerous for protecting the young girl, he didn't understand. He didn't get a chance to say goodbye to his mama before he was chased out of the town and permanently exiled.

When Alma found out what had happened later that day, she truly didn't blame or hate Entity. She knew him, knew that he always tried to do the right thing, that he was kind and compassionate, and she knew that her son was honestly better off like this. She had tried everything to help him, but he refused to change. He was only a danger to others.

To this day, Entity believes wholeheartedly that he did something unforgivable, that he's a monster, and that his mama hates him. he feels immense guilt about it and can't stomach the thought of taking a life.

For 3 years since being exiled, he lived in the woods, surviving off the land, hunting- which he struggled coming to terms with as he hates hurting animals, but he needed the food. His camps are simple, a campfire near a large rock and a body of water, and a hole he'd dig that is just big enough for him to fit into in his shell. His green shell is a decent camouflage when surrounded by foliage and berry bushes.

And finally: His powers! He's a shadow walker, i suppose. He has access to the shadow realm and can travel from shadow to shadow with ease, he loves doing this, it's part of him.

i call the shadow realm “the void” lmao, simple and fitting.

The way I imagine it feels to be inside a shadow is kinda.. like you're underwater? Suspended in this vast endless pitch black space, always knowing where you entered and where you can peek up into the light, like invisible puddles that you can sense, and when you move you can feel a slight resistance, there's something around you, but at the same time you can tell that you're part of it, it isn't.. you, but it does feel like home, it's not particularly warm or cold, but it's pleasant, and sound echoes through the vast space, every puddle has sound and scents coming from it, and the further down you go in this.. ocean of darkness, the quieter it gets, and the harder it gets for others to hear you from the nearby shadows

So when he peeks his head out of a shadow, it's literally like he swam over to a puddle or hole in the surface of the darkness to peek out. He can't see them, but he knows where they are.

He tends to hide away in the void whenever he's upset, it brings him a lot of comfort and helps him feel safe, that he has a home- even though it isn't a traditional one, it's all he has.

There's also a risk to venturing into the void. The further down in the void he goes, the harder it is to feel where the puddles are, he can't tell up from down in there, so if he went far enough down, he could easily get lost and starve to death, since he isn't safe from harm in there. If, for example, he caught a bullet with a shadow to protect someone, he could get caught in the crossfire inside the void.

He has definitely explored downwards in there, but he doesn't like how.. intense the silence gets when he's so far away from the puddles, it scares him, makes him feel that he's alone again. But being around the puddles and hearing through them, conversations, nature, just sounds, life, even the vague scents from where they lead, it helps him feel less alone, less afraid

But he does go further down when he hides away, always within earshot, but it'd be easy to slip too far down by accident.

that is all

have nice day

[lovelynim]

Play and replay

Zenless Zone Zero - Wise x Lighter

A/N: Last but not least, this piece is for you, friend ( @ticklystuff ). Hope you don't mind the fact that I stole one of your Lighter/Wise ideas for this one and that this fic can make it as a belated bday gift and for the fact that I missed your trip to brazil. Like you lots, even when you have poor taste on persona mcs

Aaaand on a side note, I'd like to thank @otomiyaa for letting me borrow a few scenes from her amazing story, The Mad Party, and use them on this little fic. If you want to know all the references, I wholeheartedly recommend you checking on this chapter (and reading the other ones too, the whole thing is great)

Summary: Lighter and Wise are watching a show together, but the scene on screen ends up putting Lighter in some sort of mood.

Word count: 1818

[Also on Ao3]

This was such a cliché move, Lighter thought, but he was glad it still worked just fine. He shot Wise a smile as he wrapped his arm around the proxy’s shoulder, pulling him closer and making a small, surprised gasp escape Wise’s lips.

“Lighter,” Wise pouted slightly, but still snuggled into the other man’s chest. There was no time to waste complaining, after all, he needed to finish this series to know what sort of show he was about to put up in his store. “You’re not paying attention.”

“Of course I am,” Lighter hummed back, tilting his head before he moved his eyes from Wise to the TV, again.

Lighter knew the video store was just a made-up business scheme so Wise and his sister could hide their actual work, but it was always a surprise to how much they were dedicated to the so called farce. Not only would the siblings collect tapes from all kinds, but would also spend their time watching each one of them. “How can I recommend something if I don’t know what it is about?” was Wise’s to go explanation whenever he was asked about it.

Still, this also gave Lighter the perfect excuse to spend more time with Wise. Guess this should also count as a cinema date? The champion smiled, losing himself to his thoughts while absently staring at the show playing on the TV.

What was it about again? He remembered Wise telling him about it, something about an adaptation of some best selling novel from before the Hollow Disaster. Unfortunately, he had paid more attention to how cute Wise looked while ranting about his work than the plot of the show itself. 

“Why is the cop so angry again?” Lighter mumbled, his eyes squinting slightly behind his shades as the scene playing didn’t seem to make much sense. He heard Wise sigh, annoyed. He chuckled, amused.

“Because of the flowers James sent him. Yuki even barged into the restaurant earlier because of it,” Wise explained - just like he did all the other times Lighter asked about the show. Lighter only hummed in agreement, as if he wasn’t dedicating most of his attention to Wise.

Squeezing the proxy a little tighter against his chest, Lighter leaned back into the couch. For the first time in a while, his eyes focused again on the show and - even if he was just watching a scene or two from time to time, it was clear why this thing was a best seller back then. It was good.

Letting himself be captivated by the show, Lighter watched with great interest as the actor playing the bartender walked outside to meet the cop near his car. The actors playing James and Yuki had an undeniable chemistry together and Lighter couldn’t help but imagine using the script behind some of those scenes with his dear proxy.

Brrr. Brrr. Brrr.

“Huh?” Lighter turned back to see Wise reaching for his phone, his face turning into a frown. “Is everything alright?”

Wise sighed, pushing himself back into his feet, his cellphone in hand. “Yes, I just… need to take this call. Wait here, I won’t take long,” he smiled sheepishly and left before Lighter could even say something back.

Lighter sat back, his face like a dog’s locked outside the house. Now, what was he supposed to do? This whole thing only made sense if he could have Wise around him. He clicked his lips, looking back at the show still playing on the TV.

The actors were making out, nothing out of the regular you’d expect. If anything, that scene made him miss Wise even more, but then…

[“Fuhuhuck! Jahahames! Lehet go ohohof mehehe!”

“Let go of you? Hey, you practically kidnapped me into your car, you pervert.”]

Lighter arched an eyebrow, feeling something swirl inside his stomach while he watched James’ actor tickle his stage partner. This was no different from kissing and other things, so why did this one feel… different? He coughed, heat gathering around his face while he paid even more attention to the show.

He wasn’t sure why he was feeling like that - maybe because the actors looked good or because the scene itself had its own appeal. One thing for sure, however, was that it made his thoughts run wilder than before. Lighter’s hand twitched, his fingers pressing into his thighs while a single thought took over his mind: do that to Wise.

[“If you want me to stop, do as I say.” 

“G-go to hehehell!”]

Lighter sighed, pressing his jaw slightly. How bad would it be if he left to look for Wise and-

Click.

He snapped back to reality, shaking his head before turning it to the room’s door, the source of that soft noise. Wise greeted him with a slight smile when their eyes locked. “I’m sorry, thanks for waiting.”

“No biggie, manager,” Lighter nodded, hooking his arm over the couch again, silently inviting Wise over again. “Did you get it solved?”

“Sort of,” Wise chuckled, quickly getting himself comfortable by the other’s side, his head resting on Lighter’s shoulder. “Anyway, can we go back a bit?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, the show,” Wise muttered, the TV’s controller already in his hand, “this episode had some good reviews and I wanted to watch it thoroughly.”

“Ah, sure,” Lighter gulped, tugging at his own collar with his other hand while he watched the show rewind a bunch of scenes at once. He let out a small sigh, his hand clenching around Wise’s shoulder.

[“Why so secretive, Johnson? Is this our secret date?”

“As if I’d give this back to you with everyone else looking.” ]

Lighter sighed. He couldn’t help but give in to the urge of peeking at Wise’s reactions after every change portrayed on screen. While it could be mistaken for boredom, a better way to portrait his feelings was… “expectation”.

He knew what was about to happen, how the scene was going to escalate and how the actors would start to make out and then-

“Is something wrong?” Wise nearly whispered, his voice gentle while his attention remained mostly at the show.

“Y-yes?” Lighter scoffed, hoping to sound convincing enough while he tried to play it cool. He heard Wise giggle at his answer, unsure if it was a good or bad sign.

“Your heart,” Wise continued, his head still resting against Lighter’s chest, “it’s beating fast.”

Damn it, Lighter thought, moving his hand to ruffle Wise’s hair gently. “It’s because of you,” he lied charmingly. It would be better to face a Hollow alone than admit something like that. But to Lighter’s demise, his heart wasn’t the only part of his body betraying him.

With each line spoken on screen, the anticipation grew worse, more and more intense. It didn’t take this long before, so why did it feel like there was a whole new chapter between the scenes?

He tapped his heel against the ground and clenched his fingers around Wise’s hair slightly. He wasn’t the kind to get second hand embarrassment from this kind of thing, not the one to cringe or fluster easily at the sight of affection - then why did going through this scene felt so much harder than before?!

“Manager,” Lighter gasped softly, his chest tight as if he was holding his breath up till now.

“Yes, Lighter?” Wise replied softly, tilting his head to look up to the other man’s face, “are you feeling shy because of the show?” He guessed playfully while Yuki’s actor giggled and mewled on screen.

Lighter only smiled, but felt something snapping inside him when he set his eyes on Wise’s mischievous grin. He wondered if Wise knew about this scene all along or if he had built some sort of resistance to these kinds of media. “I wanna do that.”

Wise slowly widened his eyes, taking a second to realize what Lighter meant. “Eh?” He looked at the screen, then back at the man next to him. “You mean the-”

“Everything,” Lighter insisted, his shades tilting down to the tip of his nose while he looked over them, his eyes narrowed while he reached to hold one of Wise’s hands. “Please?” He sighed, already pushing Wise onto his back and leaning on top of the proxy, easily towering over him.

He watched at least three different emotions make it past Wise’s face, his expression shifting while he exchanged looks between Lighter’s face and the still-playing show on screen. Was he wondering which character he was going to play? Lighter smirked.

“I- hah, w-well, I guess we could..?” Wise gulped, laying on one of his elbows before he even realized it. He was practically using Lighter as a pillow just now, but something about the sudden change in his attitude gave the small distance between them a whole new meaning. “So, do yohohou- h-hehey, Lihihighter- ahAHah!”

Lighter hummed pleased, his gloved hand lazily tracing shapes on and squeezing the smooth skin under Wise’s shirt. It was really this easy, huh, not some “it only happens in movies” thing, after all. He pinned Wise’s wrist next to his head while continuing to tickle his stomach and sides with his other hand, wearing a lovestruck, dumbfounded look on his face. “If I send some flowers over the store, will you come running to me too, manager?”

“L-LIHihihgther! I-it tihihickles, stohohop!” Wise giggled, but barely put effort in trying to run away or get in Lighter’s hand’s way. He sucked in his stomach, his body trembling with laughter under Lighter’s touch, but never really moved it away. “G-gehehet to the kihihissing pahahart, plehehease!”

“Aren’t we following the script, tho?” Lighter chuckled, his thumb pressing and rubbing a circle into Wise’s lowest ribs, making the proxy arch his back in a loud, surprised cackle. “Director said I need to tickle you a bit longer before making out.”

“NOHohoh!” Wise whined, his free hand clenching at Lighter’s shoulder while he kicked his feet behind him. Lighter wasn’t even going that hard on him, but something about it made him feel so sensitive, so vulnerable to his touch - was it because of the show? 

“L-Lighter, p-plehEHe- ahh… ahh…” Wise gasped when the tickling came to a sudden halt. Even with his mind in a daze, he could still feel the pressure of Lighter’s grip around his wrist. He felt the other man moving around and reaching for something, but even following him with his eyes proved to be a little difficult at that point. Wise turned his head to look at the TV, spotting the “paused” icon on top of the freezed scene.

“You can finish it later,” Lighter nodded, tossing the controller behind his shoulder before grabbing Wise’s other hand and pinning it as well. “Now… can we pick up from where we left it, manager?” Wise giggled, a bit in anticipation. “I will take that as a yes. ~”

[orellazalonia]

Orella,

If this sounds interesting could I request an avengers x reader inspired by the song Matilda by Harry Styles? (If you don't like Harry, I get it no sweat you don't have to do this)

Buuuuut if you are would you be willing to do it inspired by that:

where the reader has a super shaky relationship with their parents, and it takes the avengers a moment to realize how bad the reader is struggling overall, but their parents suddenly try to get back in their life? Reader can be avenger/civilian IDC you do you soldat

Thank you for putting in hard work and time to make other people's days it means a lot to get to read your stories

Hello there, dear! Thank you so much for the kind words and the lovely request. I’m glad you guys get to read my work and enjoy it!

This was definitely one of the more unique requests based on a song, I’ve never done one of those before so this was a treat! I don’t usually listen to Harry Styles, but I did my best to try and follow some of the themes in the lyrics/song. My apologies if it isn’t entirely accurate to what you wanted or the song. Regardless, I hope you enjoy and Happy reading!!!

You Can Let It Go

Summary: After years of emotional abuse, you’ve learned to hide your pain behind quiet smiles and obedience, until a message from your estranged parents threatens to unravel the careful balance you’ve built. When the Avengers begin to see through the cracks, they show you what real support looks like: quiet, steady, and safe. The kind of family you get to choose. (Avengers x reader)

Disclaimer: Angst. Hurt/comfort. References to a bad childhood (Yelling, fighting, gaslighting, etc.) You are responsible for the media you consume.

Word Count: 3.6k+

Main Masterlist

The tower was always humming.

Soft voices in the kitchen, the sound of Stark’s AI explaining something about the energy grid, or the distant thrum of someone training on the lower levels. There was always sound layered over sound. It should’ve felt like chaos, but to you, it was background noise. Better than silence. Safer, even.

You sat at the edge of the room, half-curled on a stool with your legs pulled up to your chest, cradling a mug you hadn’t actually sipped from. The others were here, scattered across the common floor like they belonged to it. Laughing, arguing about pizza orders or movie nights, throwing popcorn at each other like siblings who didn’t know how to sit still.

You watched, smiled, when you had to, and let your laugh slip in now and then. They didn’t look too closely, which was a comfort in itself.

They saw you as quiet and reserved. A little shy maybe, but capable and kind. You always did what was asked without fuss, without complaint. You trained hard, followed orders, and didn’t make trouble. You were easy to keep around.

You were also good at making yourself small, something you'd perfected long before the Avengers.

The truth was: you had never really stopped being a ghost in your own life.

When you first arrived at the Tower, you hadn’t said much. You hadn’t needed to.

Tony had scanned your file, probably, you’d figured, but never brought it up. Steve treated you gently, like he sensed something, but never pressed. Natasha watched, always silently, the way someone who knew something watched.

But even knowing something was wrong wasn’t the same as knowing what.

They didn’t know that most of your smiles were muscle memory. That you took dinner leftovers to your room so you wouldn’t have to eat in front of anyone. That your shoulders flinched when someone called your name too sharply.

They didn’t know about the childhood that never ended. About the shouting, the silence, the punishments that came dressed as love. The way your parents had twisted the meaning of family until it felt like a curse tied to your name.

They just saw someone quiet and polite and assumed that meant peace, but peace was a long way off.

The nightmares had returned weeks ago and sleep had become this distant thing you kept chasing but never reached. You were trying to avoid breaking. Because you could feel it now, lurking beneath the surface. That sharp, pulsing ache you’d spent years learning how to numb. The part of you that had learned how to make yourself disappear.

And then the message came.

You were standing by the sink in the shared kitchen when your phone buzzed. One buzz with a short preview.

From: Mom

Haven’t heard from you in a while. Hope you’re doing okay. Let’s talk soon?

The text was short, casual even. Like there hadn’t been years of screaming and silence stretched between every word. Like she hadn’t once said, “You’re not depressed, you’re just dramatic.” Like your father hadn’t stood in the hallway with clenched fists when you dared to speak the truth.

You stared at the message until the screen went black. Then you shoved the phone deep into your pocket and walked out of the room before anyone could notice the way your hands were shaking.

You trained too hard that day.

Steve had barely called the start of the session before you were throwing yourself into drills. Sparring partners rotated in and out, but you kept going, faster and rougher. You got hit more than you usually did, not because you were slow, but because you didn’t flinch anymore.

Pain grounded you. It made things real. Physical bruises were easier to carry than emotional ones.

“Take a break,” Steve called eventually, towel slung around his shoulders. His brows were pulled together, voice cautious.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re drenched.”

“I’m fine, Cap.”

It came out a little too quickly than you intended and he caught it.

But instead of arguing, he gave a quiet nod, though his eyes followed you to the bench where you sat, breathing hard, and your fingers twitching from the adrenaline.

The thing was, they didn’t know what to look for really.

You didn’t cry in public. You weren’t reckless or explosive. You were just… quiet which was easy to overlook in a place full of larger-than-life personalities.

You kept your room clean, your reports detailed, and your performance solid. You smiled at the right times, laughed when you were supposed to, and didn’t cause trouble.

But that was the problem. You never caused trouble.

Natasha started noticing first. It was in the little things, the way you flinched when someone brushed past too quickly. How you always asked before sitting on a couch, even when there was clearly space. How you automatically apologized when someone bumped into you.

“Where’d you grow up?” She asked once casually, halfway through a late-night kitchen run.

You shrugged, not meeting her eyes. “Nowhere special.”

She didn’t push, but her eyes stayed on you for a moment too long.

By the third message, your breath started catching in your throat whenever your phone lit up.

From: Dad

We’ll be in the city this weekend. Thought maybe we could grab dinner? Just us like old times.

Old times.

You nearly laughed.

Old times where you being told to “get over it” when you flinched away from shouting. Old times were you being grounded for crying too loudly. Old times were being punished for making them feel bad.

You didn’t want old times. You didn’t know if you wanted anything from them. But the message made your chest tight all the same. Like maybe if you didn’t respond, it meant you were the cruel one now. That old script they wrote into your skin of being ungrateful, cold, selfish, started playing again.

So you went quieter. You skipped team movie night. You missed dinner two nights in a row.

You said, “I’m just tired,” when Sam knocked on your door.

And maybe, if it had gone on just a little longer, no one would’ve noticed. Maybe they would’ve let you vanish the way you always did.

But not this time. Because this time, someone did knock again and they didn’t leave when you didn’t answer.

You didn’t answer the door at first. You heard it, though. A soft patient tap, but you stayed curled up on your bed, blanket pulled up to your chest like it could hold everything in. Your room was spotless, as usual. You liked it that way. Ordered, contained, and untouched. Nothing felt worse than a mess you couldn’t explain.

The knock came again, just twice, and then silence. You closed your eyes and waited for their footsteps to fade, but they didn’t.

Instead, you heard a quiet voice through the door.

“It’s just me. Steve.”

Your stomach twisted.

He wasn’t someone you lied to easily. He looked at people like he wanted to understand them, like their pain was something he could shoulder if they let him. You didn’t know what to do with that kind of kindness. So you stayed silent again.

After a few seconds, the door creaked open just an inch. He didn’t step in.

“I’m not here to intrude,” He said gently. “Just… checking.”

The hallway light barely reached your bed, but he must’ve seen your silhouette on the bed, face half-hidden by your pillow. You didn’t move.

A pause. Then, quietly:

“We’ve been worried.”

You hated that word, worried. It felt like guilt you didn’t know what to do with.

“I’m okay,” You murmured, voice dry and too small.

“You’re not.”

That stopped you. It wasn’t harsh. There was no accusation in it. Just simple, steady honesty, the kind that cracked something in you wide open.

Steve took a step into the room, then another, until he sat near the foot of the bed. Not too close and not too far. He didn’t look at you like a soldier. He looked at you like a person, like someone trying to meet you where you were.

“Did something happen?” He asked.

You stared at the edge of your blanket, your fingers clenching it tight.

“They texted me.”

Steve didn’t ask who. He waited.

“My parents.”

Even saying it made your throat feel tight again.

You swallowed. “They’re coming into the city, said they want to talk. Like… like everything’s normal. Like it’s been long enough that it doesn’t matter anymore.”

He was quiet, letting the words settle.

“I haven’t spoken to them in three years, not since I left. Not since they made me feel like I was losing my mind just for asking not to be treated like… like that.” You exhaled shakily. “And now they want to have dinner.”

Steve’s voice was low and careful. “Do you want to see them?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s okay.”

You blinked hard. Your eyes were burning, but you refused to let the tears come. Not yet. Not again. You turned your head slightly, enough to finally meet his gaze in the dim light.

“They made me think everything was my fault for years. That I was broken, overly sensitive or attention-seeking. That I imagined things that hurt me. I had to leave to remember who I was and now they act like they miss me, like it’s love.”

Steve didn’t try to give advice. Didn’t jump to defend anyone, say “family is complicated”, or some other hollow truth.

Instead, he said, “I’m proud of you. For leaving, for surviving.”

Your breath hitched. You didn’t realize you were crying until he moved slightly closer, not touching, but there. Solid and present like a shelter in a storm.

“I’m sorry we didn’t notice sooner,” He spoke softly. “I should’ve seen it.”

You shook your head quickly, wiping at your face. “I didn’t want you to.”

That made his chest ache a little, that you felt like you had to hide pain just to keep peace.

“I want you to know,” He said gently, “You don’t owe them anything. Not a conversation, not forgiveness, not your presence. You don’t have to go.”

“But what if I do?” Your voice cracked. “What if I go, and it’s awful again? What if I let them back in and it hurts like before?”

Steve met your eyes, clear and unwavering. “Then we’ll be here when it does.”

You couldn’t speak. So you nodded, just once. And this time, when he stayed a little longer, you didn’t ask him to leave.

When the day came to meet them, you didn’t sleep the night before.

You were in bed, staring at the ceiling while the hours turned inside out. Your phone sat facedown on the nightstand, but you didn’t need to check it. You already knew the time, the place, and the message waiting like a trap. Dinner at seven. Just us.

You hadn’t responded. You hadn’t said yes. But you hadn’t said no, either. And maybe that silence was your answer.

And by noon, your nerves were a storm.

You didn’t eat or train. You stood in the shower too long, water going cold, and hands pressed flat against the tile like they could hold you together. And then you dressed like someone going to war despite the plain clothes and neutral colors, armor disguised as modesty.

Your reflection didn’t even look like you.

You tried, for a split second, to imagine them smiling and acting normal. Ordering food and making small talk like they hadn’t tried to erase you from yourself for years.

But the thought made your chest ache.

When you stepped out into the hallway, Steve was already waiting calmly. He wasn’t leaning or pacing. He was just there, hands in his pockets.

“Need a ride?” He asked softly.

You hesitated then nodded once.

The drive was quiet.

You sat in the passenger seat with your hands clenched in your lap and eyes fixed on the sky. Steve didn’t press, didn’t speak. He was just a steady presence beside you, like a lighthouse you didn’t have to swim toward, just know was there.

When he pulled up in front of the restaurant, one of those places with white linen tablecloths and polite silence, you felt like the air had been sucked out of your lungs.

“They’re already inside,” You said, barely audible.

Steve didn’t ask how you knew or if you were sure. He just looked at you.

“You don’t have to do this.”

You stared out the window. The windows of the restaurant gleamed in the early evening sun, and through the glass, you could see the back of your mother’s head. Her posture still perfect, her gestures still poised.

You swallowed hard.

“I think I need to know if they’ve changed,” You whispered. “Even if they haven’t.”

Steve gave the smallest nod. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

You looked at him, and for a second, something loosened behind your ribs.

“Promise?”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

You opened the door and stepped out into the weight of your past.

When you went inside, the restaurant was polished and glowing gold in the evening light. There were crisp tablecloths, wine glasses and menus already placed, and napkins folded neatly like secrets. You spotted them before you stepped inside.

They looked… untouched. As if the past hadn’t scorched through your life and left it in ashes. As if they were still the kind of people who got to sit here, drink expensive wine, and talk about family like it was something soft and sacred.

You almost turned around, but then your mother looked up and waved. And your feet moved anyway.

“Sweetheart,” She said when you reached the table, like her voice had never cut you open. “Look at you, you’ve gotten so strong. You look healthy, balanced.”

Your father stood to give you a brief hug. Light and distant, just enough to say he did it. His cologne smelled the same. You hated that you still remembered it.

You sat down slowly, the cushion too soft beneath you. The table felt too close and your skin buzzed with everything unspoken.

“We’re so glad you came,” Your mother said, already smiling at the waiter. “This place has the best lemon risotto. We used to come here before… well, before life got complicated.”

“I remember,” You murmured. You knew what they were trying to say.

Before you got tired of being screamed at in the kitchen. Before you stopped letting them call it discipline. Before you realized love wasn’t supposed to make me sick.

And from then on, it started.

Small talk, like nothing happened. Work, the city, what shows they were watching. Your father joked about something on the news while your mother commented on how nice your hair looked pushed behind your ears. Neither of them asked how you’d been. Not really. They asked like people fishing for evidence that you were better now, as if your struggle had been a phase, an inconvenience, or a bit of drama you’d finally grown out of.

They didn’t ask why you left. They didn’t say the word sorry. They didn’t mention the fights, the fear, or the nights you had locked your bedroom door and pressed your back against it because silence could turn into shouting in an instant.

They just smiled like all they remembered was you being difficult.

Halfway through the appetizer, your throat closed. Not from panic, not quite. But grief. Grief for the kid who had once begged them to see her pain and been told she was too sensitive. Grief for the years you spent wondering if you were the problem.

You put down your fork.

“I can’t stay.”

Your mother looked up, surprised. “What?”

“I thought I could do this,” You said quietly, forcing your voice to stay steady. “But I can’t.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Your father said, almost automatic, almost bored.

You flinched. Not visibly, not enough for anyone to see. But inside, that word opened something inside of you like an old wound.

“I’m not being dramatic,” You said, sharper this time. “I’m protecting myself.”

The silence at the table turned cold. Your mother’s smile faltered.

“We’re just trying to have a nice evening–”

“I came here hoping you’d changed.” You cut in. “But you haven’t. You’ve just… gotten better at pretending everything’s fine.”

You stood, your chair barely made a sound as you pushed it back. You looked at them both and felt nothing. Your mother opened her mouth, but you didn’t stay to hear it. You turned and walked out of the restaurant before they could say your name like a leash.

And just as he promised, Steve was waiting just outside, leaning against the car.

When he saw your face, unreadable but tight, like a balloon moments from bursting, he opened the passenger door without a word.

You climbed in, chest burning, and hands cold. The silence was a gift.

It wasn’t until you were halfway back to the Tower, streetlights blurring past the windows, that the first tear fell. Just one. You wiped it away quickly, but Steve saw.

He glanced over, voice barely a murmur. “Want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, eyes burning again. “They were… who I remembered, just in nicer clothes.”

He didn’t say I’m sorry. He just nodded.

You leaned your forehead against the window.

“I kept thinking it was me,” You whispered. “That maybe I remembered it wrong or exaggerated. That maybe I owed them another chance.”

“You don’t,” Steve said.

A pause before he added,

“But you deserve people who show up when it matters.”

And maybe that was the moment. Not the dinner, not the goodbye, but this, where you started to believe him.

After that day, you didn’t tell the team everything.

You didn’t sit them down and have a heart-to-heart or spill your past over coffee. You still smiled, still trained, and still laughed when someone made a dumb joke. But something had shifted, not loud or visible unless someone really looked.

And now, they were looking.

You came back from the dinner and didn’t go straight to your room. Instead, you sat on the floor of the common area, back against the couch, and legs stretched out. Steve brought you tea without asking. He didn’t talk or hover, just placed it beside you and left a blanket nearby in case you wanted it.

You didn’t cry again, but the tea was warm in your hands.

Later that day, Natasha came in and sat down beside you like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“You don’t need to talk,” She said, her voice like dusk, calm and measured. “But if you ever do, I’ll listen.”

You nodded, throat too tight to reply and that was enough for her.

The next day, Sam made you laugh.

It wasn’t on purpose, not really. He walked into the kitchen barefoot with a bowl of cereal and a blanket over his shoulders like a cape. You were sitting at the table, still wrapped in your own quiet. And without looking up, he mumbled, “You ever think birds are just government agents with wings?”

You snorted into your drink.

He grinned without looking at you. “There she is.”

You didn’t say anything but you smiled, for real this time.

That was how it started. Not with pity, heavy conversations, or team-wide check-ins, but with space. With care disguised as normalcy.

You noticed it everywhere.

Clint stopped teasing you when you were quiet. Instead, he started leaving music playing in the gym when you trained alone. Something soft and wordless, never anything overwhelming.

Bruce started knocking before entering any shared lab space, even when he knew it was empty. He never said why, but it made your chest ache in a good way.

Tony didn’t say anything at all, but your bedroom door got a new lock on it. One only you controlled. No access override or emergency bypass. Just you.

You cried a little when you found out. Silently, in private. Because no one had ever trusted you to be safe on your own before.

And then there was Bucky.

He didn’t try to fix it. He never said, “I know how it feels,” even though you were pretty sure he did. What he did instead was small, steady things.

He sat next to you when you couldn’t sleep. He passed you your favorite mug before you reached for it. He offered to spar, and when you said no, he didn’t take it personally.

He was simply there for you like everyone else in the small ways that mattered.

That didn’t mean that you didn’t struggle anymore. You still did.

There were still days where you flinched from kindness because it felt unfamiliar. Days where a voice too sharp or a door too loud sent your heart racing. Days where you felt selfish for needing space or broken for needing anything at all.

But now, when those days came, you weren’t alone with them.

You’d sit in the corner of the common room, curled up on the couch, and someone would always be near. Not hovering, just present. Steve reading on the other end or Natasha drinking tea nearby. Sometimes it’d be Sam humming under his breath or Bucky asleep in a chair nearby.

No one pushed you to talk when you weren’t ready or made you feel like you were being dramatic for having bad days. Because somehow, they made it safe to be not okay.

And slowly, quietly, you started to believe what Steve said before:

You didn’t owe the people who hurt you a seat at your table.

You could let it go. And for the first time in years, you were. Slowly, gradually, and not alone anymore.