#(anakin's poor date has not been looked at once)

[tennessoui]

wait lol au where post-war, the jedi order does a date auction a la every cliche ever where they auction off a date night with one of their jedi generals. it's supposed to raise credits for various post-war charities as well as stoke good feelings about the order (the smear campaign was pretty effective, even if sidious died before the genocide bit)

obviously both the hero with no fear and the negotiator are put on the metaphorical chopping block. anakin is a Good Husband™️ so he clears this with Padmé first, and she laughs and agrees and wishes him luck in surviving the hoards of fans that desire him carnally. she says as a senator, she will be expected to attend and maybe even bid. they both agree that it would be way too obvious for their super secret marriage if she bids on anakin, and anakin asks her to bid on obi-wan in a spur of the moment thing.

it's just. obi-wan was really hurt aboard the invisible hand and then he was hurt again when fighting with grievous. and is anyone vetting these random people who will get to go on a date with the jedi? anyone could win!! a disgruntled separatist could win obi-wan's attention for a night and then take him on a date and then kill him!!!! under anakin's very nose!!!

anakin actually gets like. super concerned about this possibility. like super concerned. he gets padmé to promise that she will bid however much it takes to win obi-wan's hand (she is after all generationally wealthy) and she agrees because she loves him and then also follows through because she's a woman of her word.

anakin gets bid on by several people, one woman wins, it's whatever, anakin doesn't care. what anakin cares about is making sure he and this person can go to the same restaurant as obi-wan and padmé. just like. to make sure obi-wan is alright. he was looking quite flushed during the bidding? anakin is Concerned.

and anakin's poor date, who paid millions of credits for his attention, has to deal with an anakin who is obsessed with what's happening a table over and why are they laughing and are their knees touching beneath the table and maybe anakin should go over and like? break it up? his master is obviously a bit uncomfortable in all this candlelight. he looks beautiful, obviously, but he's clearly uncomfortable and he would feel better if anakin were there. obviously.

and anakin's poor date ALSO has to deal with meeting obi-wan kenobi after/during dinner because anakin can't keep in his lane, and general kenobi is downright hostile and cold to her because he's feeling incredibly overprotective at the thought of anakin having to spend time with some woman who bought him. as if he were a slave again.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Okay but I would LOVE to here your heretical opinions on Padame if you ever want to share them or any of your other views on star wars prequel characters. Your character analysises are INCREDIBLE and really fun to read <3

Oh boy, are you sure about that? Well, the ask has been made so here, we, gooooooooooooooo!

Padme’s one of those strange characters who appears as one thing but in actuality is quite different. Because she appears as the first thing, and it’s something people really like, most people accept that at face value and if she’s not always consistent--well, she came from a series of screenplays written by George Lucas.

Padme comes across as a very noble, kind, and courageous character who is also quite politically savvy. At fourteen, against all odds, she saves her planet from invasion when the Senate did nothing, secured herself an ally in the chancellor (nevermind him being secretly Palpatine), and even after relinquishing her title as queen remains a major player in the senate for years and is seen as enough of a threat to warrant several assassination attempts (one so bad she has to be guarded by Jedi and sent home to Naboo for several weeks). 

And I’m not saying she’s not any of these things. Padme is very courageous, is one of those odd politicians who... believes she stands for what she believes in (more on this later), and has a remarkable political career.

However, she’s also romantic to the point of being completely and utterly delusional, self-centered, and frankly a little nuts.

(Yeah, you knew you were waiting for me to say something terrible, WEREN’T YOU?!) Right, so what’s wrong with Padme?

Well, if you look closely at a few of her choices, the ones that never seemed to make much sense, then you can look at her other choices and... Well, it all sort of comes together. 

That’s right, I’m talking about “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith”.

Attack of the Clones we have the very lackluster and strange romance of Anakin and Padme.

On Anakin’s end, his infatuation with Padme makes a lot of sense. She was part of the party that rescued him from slavery, she was very kind to him, and was the prettiest girl he’s ever seen in his life. Ten years later, always having harbored a crush on her memory and keeping it alive through whatever news he hears of her, she’s grown into a very beautiful woman and Anakin is by chance introduced back into her life. I get why Anakin falls head over heels for Padme, I’ll get more into this later and how their relationship has some major issues (aside from the obvious), but I understand why he marries this girl out of nowhere even when it could get him thrown out of the Jedi. (As an aside, since this is more of a Padme post, I think Anakin was spurred on in part also by the death of his mother and his massacre of the Tusken Raiders. Anakin’s life was flipped upside down in a very short amount of time, one of his great emotional ties is suddenly gone, and I think he has this internal crisis that culminates in him deciding to marry Padme. Without this, he and Padme may have become lovers, but I don’t think he’d marry her).

On Padme’s end... it’s a little less clear. Anakin has grown into an attractive young man, yes. Take out all of George Lucas’ dialogue, and maybe Padme finds Anakin very charming. However, Padme secretly marries a Jedi she’s known for three weeks. Now, I’d be a bit more forgiving of this, love is love and we can’t always think rationally, but there’s some other things.

Unlike Anakin, Padme hasn’t been spending the past ten years romanticizing her memory of Anakin Skywalker. When they met in Phantom Menace, Anakin was not only five years younger than her, he was nine-years-old. To fourteen-year-old Padme, Anakin was not then dating material and was instead this poor boy in slavery. Which means while Anakin has build up justifying this rapid romance, Padme really doesn’t. What this means is that her romance with Anakin reads a lot more like a romantic fantasy. Cute dashing bodyguard shows up, saves her life, through contrived circumstances they’re sent back to beautiful Naboo where they spend time together, only cute bodyguard is a Jedi and can’t marry, which makes their love excitingly taboo! 

Everything Padme does, before and after this point, lends itself to this overdeveloped sense of romance. Padme wants to be whisked away, wants to have this secret unsustainable marriage with a man who cannot be married, she’s in love with the idea of being in love. Given how little time she spends with Anakin, how little they really know of each other, I’d say she’s more in love with the idea of Anakin than Anakin Skywalker himself. And this isn’t a bad thing necessarily, or at least not a grievous flaw, however, that’s not all. 

Padme chooses to marry Anakin knowing he murdered an entire village of men, women, and children. She marries him almost immediately after the massacre of the Tusken Raiders. Note, she does not learn about this later and have to come to terms with it, she is right there. She is on Tatooine with him and sees him go to do it and then return. 

Padme doesn’t take it... particularly well, that said, she also seems to shove it under the carpet immediately. She, first, marries Anakin within days after this event. She second, never really has a “holy fuck, Anakin” conversation with him. And worst yet, she never confesses to anyone else. Padme is a hypocrite and willing to sacrifice everything she believes in, albeit I believe unwittingly, for her romantic fantasy.

She tells no one about what happened. An entire village was brutally massacred, those who are already poor and oppressed and have no voice, by a man who is supposed to be a protector of all people in the galaxy. I’m sorry, Anakin, but if Padme was who you think she is then she would have to tell the Jedi Order at the very least if not the Republic. Instead, there are no consequences, only Anakin’s descent into guilt and madness as three years pass with it festering in the back of his mind.  Padme does not stand for the poor, for the people, or for justice. She only does so when it does not conflict with her own interests, i.e. her actions regarding the invasion of Naboo. More, I do not believe Padme has the introspection to realize this about herself, she never realizes that not narking on Anakin was very very very bad. Three years pass and she lives the whirlwind romantic fantasy that she and Anakin both want. They’re secret lovers/spouses, meeting up at the oddest hours of the day and... This is three years of this ridiculous affair. Three years to come to terms with the fact that something must change. And then the kicker, Padme gets pregnant, and this is where the extra delusional comes in.

The child should have been a signal of the end. There can be no more secret now. Padme is having a child, presumably out of wedlock, and even if space is very very very different from our society I imagine this would be quite the scandal that could even get her thrown out of the senate. I believe Padme mentions as much to Anakin. More, Anakin is no longer a lover, he is now a father. What’s supposed to happen now? They raise this secret child, instructing them that Anakin is only a father in private, never in public?

Anakin and Padme briefly flirt with the idea of Anakin leaving the order. Anakin even wants to do so, but it... never happens. Now is the time it absolutely should happen. Yes, Anakin’s a big part of the war effort, but he could at least start talking to the Order and they could decide if it’d be a slow or fast exit. 

My theory, Padme’s too in love with the fantasy. Anakin leaving means he’s no longer a Jedi, it means he’ll come to Naboo, be unemployed and be around. Anakin visiting will no longer be this romantic, fraught with the danger of being found out, passionate, short lived event for Padme. It’ll become real life. He’ll be a real, ordinary man, she’ll be a real, ordinary, woman, and that spark of romance will be gone.

I don’t think Padme wants that. 

Which is why, even with the child on the way, we see Anakin and Padme continue to play out this ridiculous secret lovers fantasy. And then, of course, Anakin goes insane off screen.

Padme is told that, once again, Anakin has murdered dozens of children. Of course, this is a terrible thing to be told and she can’t process it. She needs to find Anakin and confront him, but people always criticize Lucas here and feel it’s out of character for Padme to have run to Anakin in sobbing hysterics with no plan of enacting vengence.

Frankly, I think it’s very in character. She did nothing about the Tuskens, remember? I think at the end of the day, the murder of the Jedi children means very little to her. What hurts Padme the most is that the fantasy of Anakin she married is not real. The Anakin she married would never murder the Jedi children, betray the Republic, or do any of what he’s done. And I think Padme only has that strong, iron, will when she knows the world she’s in. With the Trade Federation, her stance was obvious. Her people were being oppressed, butchered, and invaded. In this case, the world she knew no longer exists.

The Republic is gone, perhaps hasn’t existed in thirteen years, as it turns out the senator who had always been her biggest supporter was a Sith Lord. The Jedi are gone, children murdered by Anakin while those in the field are picked off by their own clone soldiers. Padme’s world has fallen apart, and I think that makes it much harder for her to be the girl we saw in Phantom Menace. In time, perhaps, she would have joined the rebellion but... I do think Padme might have also given into despair.

So, yeah, that’s Padme for you.

[freehismindatnite]

Star Wars Modern AU headcannons ft. Single Dad Anakin pt 2

I managed to get brain rot from my own au lmao

Anyways this focuses more on the adults bc I've been thinking

Asajj was on Beat Bobby Flay once

She lost but people are coming to her restaurant more because they think it was rigged

So btw thranto is canon in this universe because I said so tee hee

Anyways Eli eventually leaves his accountant job and starts a restaurant called Cantina Tex-Mex because this is Texas, Eli Vanto is not portrayed as white so I made him Chilean and Mexican. ALSO tex mex is very good if done right.

He has an unreasonable amount of teenagers there on Fridays

He gave them a discount bc Asajj told (read: threatened) him to

Anyways Thrawn also makes specifically 2 gallons of Puerto Rican Chocolate Caliente (hot chocolate) every friday because he wants to watch the world burn

Literally every teen and tween loves that hot chocolate but he just makes 2 gallons then watches the mad scramble

Asajj makes a diner food and Romanian food mix

It's really good for date nights and the Skywalkers (plus Rex, Ahsoka,Barriss, and Obi-wan) to eat at for family dinners if something special happens

It's cool as hell she makes like Sarmale burgers so she has the patty be 2 actual Sarmale. Which is minced pork, spices, onions, and rice rolled in sour cabbage leaves and served with her hashbrowns potatos.

She serves Pepsi because she is a sadist

Ahsoka is a comedian as I have said before

Her content is all written by herself no ghost writers

She has had 2 Netflix specials so far

One of her jokes is about how her and Thrawn became enemies

Dr. Barriss and Eli are good friends so haha rivalry but your spouse will smack your dumbass for it.

They don't hit their spouses btw they just roll their eyes and pack up their crochet stuff.

Barriss and Eli met in middle school when other kids were being assholes to Barriss. Anyways they were friends ever since.

Maul, Savage, and Mother Talzin come visit one day

It's hilarious

No one really likes Maul

People think Savage is v nice

Mother Talzin is this 6 foot lady she terrifies the town minus the Skywalker twins and Los tres caballeros (Ahsoka, Anakin, and Obi-wan)

Anakin is a force of nature

He's an idiot with a clone of him

No like Leia is literally very much like him

Luke looks like him but other than that he's just Padme

Leia has done several things her father did

Everyone found it hilarious

Till she tried to jump off the roof to fly when she was 10

Poor baby had a big scar

Luke is also a fucking idiot I'd like to remind you, he has a insufferable martyr complex

Seriously Ahsoka, Barriss, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Luke were playing Bedwars once and Anakin and Luke kept throwing themselves onto the fray

Annoying as hell sometimes

Anakin literally just told Ahsoka that doing drugs was cringe once so she just didn't

Anakin did though Obi-wan lectured him on why drugs are bad and it went in one ear and out the other

And by drugs I mean weed

Because it's my fake USA so I will make it how I want it

Weed is legal now fuck you

Anakin just calls things cringe then leaves

Like he told Palpatine he was cringe once

I dont think Palpatine ever recovered

Also Palpatine is homophobic

Lol he lives in gay people texas

Shaak Ti my beloved

Aayla and Bly are the peak of cool aunt and uncle

They are the aunt and uncle who take you to rated r movies when your 13

Anyways that's it I just needed to get that out of my system

[greenygreenland]

Tired: Omega x Platonic! Slicer! Reader

-Hi I’m back from the dead

-i write for females, keep that in mind (sorry, it's what I'm comfortable with, so I hope you understand!)

-but really, I write in 2nd POV, so you can't tell for the most part

REQUESTED

Summary: You're a former bounty hunter who's also a slicer for the GAAR. You meet Omega by chance.

Tired. That was the only thing that could describe your mental state. Being assigned to mission after mission was no fun, especially when it was solo. You were a civvie slicer, one who the GAAR hired by chance due to your reputation.

By reputation, that meant ex-mercenary-who-so-happened-to-have-a-knack-or two-for-technology. The clones were nice to you though. For the most part, they didn't care about your previous occupation because it wasn't the first time anyone's hired Bounty Hunters for the GAAR.

The low hum of the ship helped to ease your building worries. You wondered what the boys of Clone Force 99 were up to. It was no secret that you were part of the complete package. No one knew how you and them got along when you were a civvie. Being outsiders themselves, they hated anyone who wasn’t part of their group. But not you. You were different. Kind. Caring. Understanding.

That thought made you frown. You missed the boys. They had been gone for at least seven rotations without comming you once. The fact that they promised didn't help their cause either. Were they okay? Maybe one of them got hurt, or worse, killed? Maker forbid such a thing.

"They better come back to me in one piece, or I'll have them begging on their knees for forgiveness..."

Beep, beep, beep!

You jolted upright, swinging your legs out form under you as you hurriedly fumbled for the holoprojector. You tapped a button and the cockpit flooded with a soft, blue light. "Tech!" you cried. "It's been seven rotations! Why haven't you commed me?" He removed his helmet with a sheepish shrug. "We've been busy of course. And it's seven rotations and fifteen hours, meaning--"

"Yeah, yeah." you cut in with a sigh. "I don't like the idea of not coming with you guys on missions. I know you're just as capable--more if you want me to be honest--but that doesn't mean I can't worry."

There was a rustle behind Tech and he looked over his shoulder. Hunter came into view, an apologetic look in his eyes. "Sorry we didn't comm you. With all that's gone down, I wouldn't say we've had the time." You flopped down in your chair helplessly. "I know, it's just..."

Hunter smiled warmly. "Don't worry about us (Y/n)." Tech pushed up his glasses and nodded in agreement. "If there's anyone who we should be worrying about, it's you. You go on solo missions six out of nine times. We have each other but you only have yourself."

"Wow, I feel so much better Tech." You sarcastically muttered. "Speaking of mission, I'm on my next one."

Hunter knitted his brows. "Where?"

"Skako Minor."

"Skako Minor?" they echoed. You nodded. "Something strange is going on there. According to Rex, the Seppie battle plans have been drawn exactly like the ones he used to do with Echo--that’s one of his men." You recalled the face of that fallen soldier. He was always so sweet to you, giving a wave whenever you passed and smiling as brightly as he could. To say you missed the poor boy was an understatement.

"Isn't Skako Minor under the Techno Union?" inquired a coiled voice. Crosshair made his way into the frame and unceremoniously squeezed himself between his brothers. "You better not be going alone." You waved it off. "Even if I did, it’s fine. I can take care of myself.”

“Like the time you nearly fried yourself with a loose wire on that rock in the Outer Rim? Yeah, I don’t think so.” You averted your gaze to the side in embarrassment. No one needed to remind you of that rookie mistake. You could have gotten yourself killed. The watts were off the chart there. “That was one time. I’m a master at this stuff, don't worry. And besides, Cody, Rex, Jesse, and Kix are with me." Cross's brows shot up. "You're working with regs?"

"Don't worry, they're seasoned soldiers from the 501st.” That was the truth, and you meant it. Working under Rex for months made it clear to you. During that time, he taught you a thing or two about mechanics. “General Skywalker’s men are more than capable. So is Cody."

Cross looked doubtful, and you couldn't blame him. This was enemy territory you were sneaking into. It didn’t matter who you had on your side, because anyone could make a mistake.

A deep laugh echoed from over Cross’s shoulder. Wrecker set down his gonk droid, Lula in the other hand. “You guys need to have faith in (Y/n),” he reminded with a grin. “She’s smarter than me, and she’s always kept up with us. Is there anything she can’t do?” Tech pushed his glasses up with a challenging look. “Uh, actually--”

“Just be careful.” Hunter concluded. “We want to see you back in one piece.” You nodded in understanding. “Copy that, Sarge.” He smiled, and it was filled with unsaid words of care. Cross sent you a nod, eyes all mushy and soft while Tech knitted his brows together worriedly. Wrecker grinned, and it was so bright that it could have blinded you.

“Same goes to you Batchers,” you stated seriously. “Come back to me in one piece, or I’ll come over there and kill you myself.” Tech looked like he wanted to comment on that, but he sensed the shift in mood and kept his mouth shut. You memorised their faces as best as you could. It would be a while until you saw them next.

The hologram flickered out and the soft glow of blue hues disappeared. The cold, dim lighting of the ship fell over you. “Well that’s that.” you muttered with a weak smile. Rex patted your shoulder comfortingly. “They really care about you.”

“Yeah. But it wasn’t always like that. I used to be a stranger too.”

The rest of the ride was spent with the occasional joke from Jesse. He made you laugh, and it helped to soothe your worries. But then the ship landed, and you were thrust into a battle zone. You were thankful Anakin made you wear heavier armour today. If he hadn’t, then you probably would have been vaporized on the spot.

“We need cover!” shouted Rex. That was a no-brainer. Being out in the open at the bottom of a ravine was not in the least tactical. “SBDs!” you called. “Twelve o’clock!”

Jesse raced past you. “Get down!” He threw an EMP. It wasn’t as effective as you hoped it would be. If the Bad Batch were here, this situation would have been completely different. You were on your own. There was no cover, save for the piles of smoking durasteel and the very armour strapped to your vulnerable limbs.

You were in a head-on battle.

“I guess we don’t have much of a choice.” You charged forward, tossing a few EMPs as you blasted away. The best you could do was nail them in the head and hope for the best. Jesse was right beside you, with Cody, Kix, and Rex following suit.

“I didn’t think you would be this daring!” called Jesse. You blasted a few droids and kicked another in the head. It fell with a clank and you smothered it in a healthy dose of blaster fire. “I wasn’t about to be bested by a couple of rust buckets!” you retorted with shake of your head. “Come on, we need to get to that tower.”

You made quick work of the droids. You were no Jango Fett, but you managed with the help of the Regs. Cody congratulated your work and motioned for the squad to continue on. “It’s obvious the enemy knows we’re here. I have my doubts on sneaking in, but perhaps we can manage...”

Past the commando droids, through the front door, then up the lift and a little further down a couple halls. Before the mission, Rex had pulled you aside to speak in private. He thought Echo was alive and that whatever was sending out those Seppie battle plans had to be him. But you weren’t about to get your hopes up. Not when so many of your friends long marched far, far away.

You stopped by a door and plugged in your datapad. “I need to slice open the door. I’m not about to challenge fate here with a charge.” Jesse nodded in understanding. “I’d rather come back with all my legs and arms, thank you very much.” He turned to keep guard as Cody stood close to your side. “Is this the control room?”

“Yes.” The door swished open and you disconnected your ‘pad from the panel. “I’ll slice the computer and retrieve the information we need. Rex, I need you for this portion.” He nodded in understanding and followed suit. You connected your datapad to the communications table. A hologram appeared, where dates and names passed by in the blink of an eye.

“You said this might be Echo.” you quietly stated. Rex nodded. “I can’t be sure, but there isn’t another explanation.” You watched as the information scrolled past at the speed of light. There wasn’t anything of use so far. Only old reports, check-ins and...

The scrolling froze. A file opened up, filling the room with a voice you wouldn’t ever forget. It was scratchy and lifeless, but you were sure it had to be the man who went KIA so long ago. “That’s...”

“Echo’s alive.” Rex affirmed. “It--it has to be him.”

“We’ve got company!” called Jesse.

You transferred the file and stuffed your ‘pad in a safe spot for keeping. “In case anything happens, I’m transferring the data over to you.” you stated. “I wouldn’t want to lose any of this.” The two of you rushed out of the room in a frenzy. Blaster fire sounded above, whizzing way over your head as you sprinted down the hall. The lift wasn’t far, only a couple metres. You just had to run a little more and--

BOOM!

Had a droid thrown a charge? You turned to Rex, eyes wide as he turned to face you. With all of the strength you could muster, you shoved him out of the way. Another BOOM!. You turned just in time to see the flash of brilliant reds and oranges.

The force threw you into the transparisteel windows, which spider-webbed out in long cracks. You were suddenly flying out of the four story building. Shards cut past your face and through your sleeves, tearing away at flesh and fabric without an ounce of mercy. If only you had a doshing jetpack.

“(Y/N)!”

You didn’t scream, but Maker did it kriffing hurt. There was a sickening crack, another blinding flash of sharp pain. You held back a cry.

Just be careful. We want you back in one piece.

Your vision faded in and out. Black blurred the galaxy as you knew it.

I'm sorry, boys.

You fell into the painful jaws of darkness.

-----

The first thing that hit your nose was the sterile smell of bacta. Your eyes fluttered open and you found yourself staring at the blank ceiling of the medbay. The incessant beeping of the heart monitor caught you off guard. How hard did you fall? Much less, what did you break?

A head of dirty blonde hair peeked over the edge of your bed. Her eyes, wide with curiosity made you knit your brows together. She was young, much younger than any girl here should be. You were about to sit up, but the girl frantically straightened.

"You're not supposed to be getting up." She gently pushed you back down. "You have a lot more than a few broken bones." That was when the pain began to settle. You stilled under the thin medbay sheets. "I need to comm someone."

"Now?" the girl incredulously inquired. "You're hurt, you have to rest first." But that was the least of your problems. Where was Rex? Had he completed the mission? How long were you out? Were Jesse, Kix, and Cody alright? You winced and the girl frowned.

"If it makes you feel better, there were a few people who came to visit."

That didn't make you feel better. It meant they saw you like this, in the most vulnerable state you could ever be in. "Who are you?"

The girl pointed at herself like she'd never been asked that before. "Me?" You nodded. "I'm Omega." She smiled and it was a little shy and toothy. "You've been asleep for a while. I thought you weren't going to wake up for another day." You tensed and pursed your lips together. "How long?"

"A week, I think." Omega said. "But it's okay! You're recovering steadily." That wasn't the issue. Recovering steadily wasn't good enough because you were missing out on a mission you needed to complete. If Echo really was alive, then you had to save him. It was the least you could do after he put his life on the line for you so many times before.

"I have to..." You pushed your aching body up. "I have to go."

"No!" Omega forced you back down. "Even if you could walk, you can't fight."

"But I have to..." The look on Omega's face made you pause. She was so small, and in that little body of hers, she stored up a good amount of worry for you. How could you say no to that? A sigh escaped your lips and you begrudgingly relaxed onto the bed.

Omega's shoulders slumped in relief. "I'll get a your holoprojector." You raised a brow with a watchful eye as she scurried away. She rummaged through a lone cabinet in the corner of the room. Your clothes sat there, belt, holsters, blasters and all. Omega pulled out your holoprojector, closed the cabinets, and handed it to you.

"I washed your clothes too if you're wondering," she said with a small smile. "But don't think about going anywhere! You can't walk with broken legs."

A pit formed in your stomach. You can't walk with broken legs. That wouldn't be true if you had seen the blast. If you had ran faster. Maybe you wouldn't have ended up like this, a mess of bandages, casts, and bacta patches. If only you had seen it coming.

"Hey, (Y/n)?" You didn't question how Omega knew your name. Whoever she was, she had to be a someone to wear Kaminoan jewellery anyway. "What is it?" Your voice was quiet, sad almost. Omega played with a loose thread on her sleeve. "That was very brave of you." She stepped closer to the bed and pulled up a chair. "Captain Rex came by this morning. He told me that you saved him from that blast."

You shifted to meet her gaze as best as you could. The holoprojector weighed your hand down like a ten kilo weight. "I just...reacted. Nothing special to congratulate." Omega shook her head. "No, that's everything. If it were me, I don't think I'd be able to do that."

A pull in your gut told you she meant what she said. Your eyes softened. You didn't meet her gaze. Maybe that was because you couldn't. It was a hard enough fact accepting that you were injured, adding on that you were going soft didn't help your cause.

Omega took it as her signal to give you some privacy and exited the room. The doors swished shut behind her, leaving you in a much needed silence. You tapped the projector. It opened up, bathing the snow white room in soft blue hues.

"Rex." you greeted. "I apologize for my absence." His brows were knitted, eyes all sad and cloudy. He tried to keep a straight face, but you knew better. Of course you did. He was your best friend since the moment you joined the GAAR. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "I should be asking that to you. Are you alright? That fall was..." He paused and it was like he was choking back tears. "I-I'm sorry. If I had just been more careful, then you wouldn't be..."

"Rex, I'm fine."

"You can't walk." he muttered. "And you can't do much on your own. I took away your independence, this is all my fault." You knitted your brows together. His words made your heart ache, and the very thought of what he faced on his own without you didn't help. Your lips pulled into a frown deeper than Kamino's oceans. "That's not all, is it Rex?"

He clenched a fist as if it would help cease his rolling emotions. "E-Echo...if you had seen him. I'm just glad you weren't there."

"Is he alive?"

"Yes."

"Well where is he?" You had to fight the urge to sit up in anticipation. He was alive. That sweet, loving boy who taught you about protocols and manuals. As boring as it was, all those regulations embedded into your mind saved you more than you'd like to admit. He and Fives always snuck up on you whenever they came back from missions, or commed you in the middle of the night.

They both kept you up at night, but you never minded. Now one of those boys who had marched so far away had the chance of coming home.

"Where is Echo?" you inquired. Rex's eyes fell to the floor. "He's...Watt Tambor made him more machine than man. I-I can't..."

The doors swished open.

"...If only we had..." You shook your head. "Rex, there wasn't anything we could do. It was a miracle you found him in the first place."

The doors closed with a low hiss.

"Found who?"

Your eyes widened and you ripped your gaze away from the projection. A set of worn, tired eyes met yours. He looked different from the bottom up. His new armor, black and red with a familiar 99 on it. His smile, though a bit dampened, remained the same. He made his way over to you and took a seat by your bedside.

"Echo?"

"That's me."

You tried a smile, and it was all watery and shaky. "Oh, you've changed." He chuckled. "So have you. I heard about what happened. That was brave of you." No, it wasn't brave. You did it on instinct, without an ounce of hesitation. "It wasn't brave, I just..."

"Who else is crazy enough to jump in front of an explosion without katarn-class armour?"

You could name a few people. Fives, for example. "Whatever. I just--I'm glad you're alive."

He smiled and it was a little broken. "Me too."

---

Before you knew it, you were up and running again. There was no time to walk because you were needed on a mission today. It was completely solo, but thankfully, a simple retrieval mission with little to no chances of a casualty.

You settled in the cockpit, taking in the familiar scents and smells of the well oiled machinery. Mechanics wasn't your strong suit, but you never minded dabbling in it every now and then. Today, there wasn't time to brush up on your beautiful ship. You had a job to do.

The jump to hyperspace was as smooth as ever. There were no creaks, no fumbling through space, and no bursts of smoke. But that was when you heard a crash from the storage room. Last tine you checked, the door had been sealed shut while the weapons and supplies stowed away as they should be.

Had you forgotten to tie them down? A long sigh escaped your lips. "What a pain."

"So is my backside." piped a chipper voice. Your eyes widened. There was no way you heard that voice correctly. Sure, it was young. You knew a few other people with a young voice. Sure, it sounded girly. You knew a couple other female coworkers.

"Sorry I snuck onboard," the voice added. "I promise, I was going to leave, but then you left and--" You swerved the chair around to face Omega head on. She smiled sheepishly, as if it would fix all the problems in the whole galaxy. Maybe it would have if the whole galaxy were as kind as you.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't turn this ship around and bring you back." you stated. Omega fiddled with the hem of her sleeves like it was the most interesting thing on the ship. "You’re short on time?" You resisted the urge to say something snippy in response. The look of uncertainty on Omega’s little face made you feel just the tiniest bit worried.

Maybe that was because uncertainty could get people killed on the battlefield.

"Omega," you placed a hand to your temple, "do you understand what you've gotten yourself into?" This was bad, really bad. Sure, the mission wasn’t as dangerous as it should have been, but intel was like the weather forecast. It was never correct. Taking Omega along with you wasn’t a good idea in any universe, and like Malachor you’d let her into the crossfire.

“I’m sorry.” She wasn’t sorry. “I didn’t mean to sneak aboard.” She definitely meant to sneak aboard. “I just wanted to do something more than...” She let out a short sigh, as if it explained what she couldn’t put into words. “Being on Kamino all the time is so boring. I want to get out and see the galaxy with my own eyes.”

She threw her arms towards the bright blue of hyperspace. You didn’t miss the look of wonder in her eyes, bright as a sun. “There’s more to life than rain and the ocean and the same people I see every single day!”

You couldn’t argue. Omega was right. Even during your recovery, the frustration of not being on your ship doing anything but sitting settled into you every day. You hated being cooped up in one place more than anything. Poor Omega had to put up with it her whole life, it was nearly unfathomable to understand what she felt.

A sharp sigh escaped your lips. “Fine, you can come. But my only condition is that you stay on the ship.”

Omega did not stay on the ship. More than anything, she was curious. She had no clue what dirt was, what kind of plants were carnivorous and deadly, or how to steer clear of all the battle droids.

You raised your blaster and fired at the rust buckets. “This is exactly why I said you should have stayed on the ship! Can you even fire a blaster?” Omega knitted her brows together and eyes the deece at your hip. More than anything, she was curious. Beyond that? Determined.

“No,” Omega replied, “but I’ll try.” She pulled the deece from your hip and peeked over the top of your hiding spot. The long, durasteel crate was just barely holding up. If you were a Jedi, then you’d say it had to be a miracle only the Force knew about.

The deece wasn’t a perfect fit in Omega’s small hands, but it did the job. She aimed at the droids, eyes focused and hands firmly on the weapon. She fired. Once. Twice. Three times. "Did I hit anything?” You fired your blaster a couple times and glared through the smoky haze.

A collection of bolts and durasteel scraps lay in a pile and you couldn’t help but be proud. Either Omega was a natural or she was incredibly strong with luck. Whichever it was, it helped you through the mission, and before you knew it, you were back on the ship with a data stick and an unharmed Omega.

“See, nothing bad happened!” she exclaimed with a grin. You took the blaster from her hands and strapped it back to your hip. “That was luck, I tell you.” Omega rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t! You saw--I was like, pow pow, and you went and hit that guy right in the face!”

“That was because he called me a filthy bounty hunter.” you said, a small smile creeping up your lips. “I can’t say I took too kindly to his harsh words.” Omega let out a laugh and you joined her. 

Tired. That was the first thing that came to mind when you thought of your mental state. Yet with Omega by your side, smiling, and carefree despite all the action, you couldn’t help but feel the electrifying sense of thrill. 

“Say, Omega? If you want to come back, maybe we can figure out how to get you off that rainy excuse of a planet more often.” you said with a small smile. She beamed, throwing her arms around you with a vigorous nod. “Yes! I’d love that!”

“Me too, kid. We just have to figure out how to convince whoever looks after you.”

BONUS:

A tall kaminoan towered over you with her beady eyes. Omega sheepishly played with her sleeves as you stared down the kaminoan. Stupid long necks. Nala Se blinked. “So this is where you have been, Omega.” That soft, cold voice of hers warmed at the sight of the girl. “Haven’t I told you not to run off? I see you’ve gone somewhere far today.”

Omega frowned shamefully. “Maybe...” Nale Se motioned for her to come to her. “If you would like, you may stay with (Y/n) again--if you are out of harms way that is.” She turned to you and you froze, eyes wide. “Wait, what?”

“I am giving you permission to have Omega under your care, as long as she is out of harms way.” You glanced at Omega, who glanced at you and then Nala Se with the biggest grin on her face. “Really?”

“Yes.” Nala Se smiled. “‘Really’.”

[tvpeongsstuff]

Supreme Emperor Obiwan Kenobi

New story idea.

After Mustafar Obiwan and vader do not have another run in for a few years. But, the first time they do Obiwan makes one of his distract my enemies while fighting comments. Vader gets distracted and loses again and Obiwan runs away. It keeps happening.

At first vader does not realize what this means until he and one of his henchmen (inquisitors?) get into a fight with Obiwan and Obiwan starts flirting with the henchman like he does when he is fighting his enemies and turns to vader and flirts with vader like he does with his enemies.

Anakin Skywalker, Obiwan Kenobi's padawan/brother/son, realizes that he is now just another sith obsessed with Obiwan. And, that to Obiwan he is no different than Ventress, or Dooku, or Grievous!

He doesn't handle that knowledge well. He goes even more crazy looking for Obiwan. He cannot handle being just anything to Obiwan. He starts looking for ways to increase his power tenfold. He starts training like crazy.

He pays top dollar for holorecordings (old or new no questions asked) of Obiwan fighting against other darksiders, criminals, and imperials. There are a few new videos. If any of them get in a lucky strike, vader makes them fight him. Inquisitors, the criminal underworld, and officers start getting chopped to pieces or killed. The imperials that survive get cybernetic parts. There are also a lot of older videos of Obiwan fighting with other Jedi, especially Anakin Skywalker. Those were supposed to be destroyed after the fall of the Republic. They make him feel...

Unbeknownst to both vader and sidious, the rebellion realize what's happening and start using vader's obsession to get vader to turn his sith fury on the complacent core worlds. They were the ones comming the info lines saying that Obiwan was on X planet or Y planet. Then when vader and his troops show up, they would broadcast the carnage. And, they carry out covert operations on other planets as they know those planets are vaderfree. For example, creating a spy network on Naboo, moving ammunitions through planet A.

The Rebellion recruits Obiwan to their cause. Bail reaches out to him, tells him the plan. They need him to distract vader. It's twofold: They don't want vader getting suspicious and they need vader to keep destroying coreworlds. He needs to be filmed looking heroic, walking through rich districts, passing by Core senators mistresses second homes, in the same are as a new important imperial's kept man (misters?). He is going to be their Katniss Everdeen (an ancient hero). People are going to get hurt but every jedi knows that the good of the many outweighs the good of the few or the one.

It works! If there is a rumor that Obiwan is on a planet, vader shows up with squadrons and tear the area apart, torture people for information, etc. This backfires on him because he razes so many places the empire can't completely censor the videos before they get out. People stop calling in as much, no matter how good the bounty.

Palpatine is at first happy with vader's obsession. He's all, "Give in to the power of the dark side" and he loves cyborgs. But, vader is single minded in his pursuit. It's like he transferred all of the love he had for Obiwan into this chase. Palpatine knows how much Anakin loved Obiwan so...on the one hand let vader find him and kill him, cementing palpatine's rule and ensuring vader's complete loyalty. On the other hand, vader is wrecking core planets and undermining his hold right now.

Sidious orders vader to stop and concentrate on other things. Vader does not listen. He receives a holo showing Obiwan on Naboo visiting Padme's memorial. He freaks out, goes to Naboo, takes the entire 501st and the 212th. He questions the queen. He rips apart members of Naboo's ruling class. He breaks public monuments. His purge troopers pull people out of their homes and beat citizens in the street. All of this is being broadcast galaxy wide.

Naboo's gentry are comming palpatine on his private line complaining and asking him to control his maniac. The rebel broadcast and the regular broadcast are wondering if this new empire is going to keep infringing on the rights of citizens? Are the people hurt by the rampaging vader going to have any recourse? Perhaps they should return to a republic? Sidious can't let this stand. He looks weak. Vader is destroying his home planet and ruining his image.

He leaves Coruscant and goes to Naboo. This was all part of a plan by the rebellion and it worked perfectly. They sneak Obiwan into Coruscant. They needed both vader and the emperor off planet so that no one powerful would be around to sense Obiwan. The rebellion are going to rally support to their cause, build up the capital's spy network, and film holos of Obiwan on planet to play at a later date to embarrass the empire.

On Naboo, vader is mourning at Padme's tomb when sidious catches up to him. The rebellion have set up holo cameras to spy on vader's every move. Breha told them to set up low tech motion detector cameras at the tomb. When the emperor comes in he berates vader and shoots force lightning at him while Vader writhes on the ground and screams in pain. It all gets captured on holo.

S: "I do not care about these morons, Lord Vader. But, you need to get yourself together and stop embarrassing me. Use your grief to channel the power of the dark side!"

Vader (gasping and panting): Yes my master

S: You have been letting Kenobi make a fool of you. Perhaps he is better than you? Perhaps you do not truly want to kill him? Did you forget how he turned on you and cut you down? Do you not want your revenge?

Vader: Yes I want my revenge

Sidious: Good good apprentice. When next you meet pull on the dark side of the force. Show Kenobi what you are capable of. Let him be the one to suffer.

V: Yes master

S: Good we leave at once for Coruscant. Gather your men.

Meanwhile Obiwan had met with senators and businessmen sympathetic to the rebel cause. He's gone down to the lower levels and spread hope amongst the poor and downtrodden. He's used the force to heal. He's filmed at the barracks and the senate. Finally, he's at the jedi temple. Obiwan has been making poignant propaganda films. Now, he has to make one about the fall of the republic and the murder of the jedi. He does. It's heart wrenching.

He talks about life in the jedi temple. He talks about the camaraderie and love all the jedi are raised with, how he didn't realize people thought jedi were baby stealers. He explains that the jedi only took unwanted children, or children whose parents could not help them with their powers. Every jedi who wanted to could leave the order. No one was kept by force. All jedi were educated on their culture and traditions. And, he talks about that final day, the murder of the jedi in the temple, the slaughter of the younglings. . He talks about finding all their bodies after, the futile search for survivors, the desperate he harboured. He cries.

The rebellion thought that they would have more time. The emperor was supposed to stay on Naboo as is his wont and make nice with his fellow men. They did not expect him to come back immediately with vader, two starships full of clone purge troopers, and 7 inquisitors. They realize they cannot get Obiwan off planet. It's too late. Vader and sidious have sensed his presence.

Obiwan makes a decision. He could die trying to escape or he could make a heroic last stand. He has the rebellion set up holo cameras all around the area and go into hiding. He tells them to broadcast his last recording. Hopefully it will rally people to their side when he diies. They have to get themselves to safety. Obiwan knows he has to push vader into killing him quickly. He hides all of his most sensitive information deep behind his strongest shields. Then he meditates. He is as ready as he'll ever be. He has to trust in the force.

Sidious knows that this is the perfect PR opportunity. He has to counteract Obiwan's emotional appeal. He sends Vader with all the troops and inquisitors after Obiwan. Vader knows better than to fail him but back up couldn't hurt. Obiwan must die! He also orders all the empires holos to broadcast the fight throughout the galaxy. He goes to the senate and announces that "there have been reports that the jedi terrorist Obiwan Kenobi has been spotted on Coruscant. Not to worry. Not to worry. I have sent Darth Vader to deal with him. At long last we will be rid of the jedi menace and our glorious empire can finally know peace." This is also broadcast throughout the galaxy from the senate cameras.

The fight starts. It's epic. Obiwan battles Vader and the Inquisitors from the jedi temple to the senate rotunda. He knocks out 3 inquisitors and badly injures 2 more. He catches blaster bolts and directs away from him back to his enemies. He keeps flirting, and making jokes and puns. Vader is enraged. He starts fighting horribly. He loses focus and jumps in the way of his inquisitors. (They already know he's obsessed with Obiwan Kenobi and the suspect if one of them land the killing blow vader will destroy them.) He chops off one of vader's hands.

Obiwan: Did I unhand you? That must burn.

Vader becomes apoplectic. How is Obiwan beating him? Again? He remembers what sidious said and starts pulling on the dark side of the force. Vader is literally pulling all of the darkside energy on Coruscant into him. Here's the thing, there is no true dark side force energy. There is only the force that can be used for dark purposes or light purposes. The way the force is used taints the force around the user. Vader is actually pulling the force away from darksiders like the Sith.

Vader begins the drain Coruscant of its dark energy. He pulls the force out of all the inquisitors that surround him, draining them. This knocks all of them unconscious. He needs more power! He pulls on the dark energy around him that has been clouding the force on Coruscant. He pulls even harder. Several weak dark side senators fall unconscious. Dark side users around the planet start passing out. Still Vader needs more power!

Palpatine feels a drain on his powers. Too late he grasps what's happening; he tries to reach out to vader. "Stop! Stop!" he screams, " Stop this at once Lord Vader!" He tries to raise his shields but he and vader share a connection, sneakily placed there by him while vader was still a child. Usually the connection goes one way. He pushes doubts, fears, dreams, and pain on vader and sits back and enjoys the emotional turmoil. Today vader has blasted that connection wide open and is taking all of the force from him. He falls unconscious.

Obiwan Kenobi can see dark energy flowing into vader. Dark energy from teh inquisitors on the ground, dark energy swirling in from the air, an ocean of dark energy coming to him from the senate. Vadear is swarming in dark energy. Obiwan can feel the turmoil, rage, and hate. It feels like....anakin skywalker throwing a tantrum when he didn't get his own way as a child.

Obiwan knows how to deal with this, probably Anakin's biggest darkest tantrum. He opens the bond he has with anakin a little, looks into anakin, puts the right amount of force into his suggestion and says "Sleep." Vader collapses and Obiwan catches him with the force.

The flow of energy into vader immediately starts to slow down. From their connection Obiwan can sense all the people vader has been sucking dry. If vader stops draining them they will wake up, so Obiwan keeps the flow going.

All this time the battalions have mostly been standing by idly. They were ordered to take shots to incapacitate or distract the jedi, unless he somehow won. Then they were to kill him. They start firing immediately. With Obiwan's focus and the energy of all the darkside at his fingertips Obiwan is able to catch every single bolt blast. He starts moving towards the senate following the ocean of darkness, parting bolts in front of him like he is parting water. Some of the troops try to run up to him to fight him but they get caught and stuck. He is floating vader and the inquisitors behind him. The caught troopers start floating along with them also. As they pass, the bolts fire.

In the senate, chaos reigns. A few senators and the emperor have collapsed. Medics have been called for them. On their screens, Jedi master Obiwan Kenobi has bested Darth Vader and his inquisitors. He is walking through the blaster bolts of thousands of troopers. He has proven himself unkillable and now he is coming straight for them. Some of the weaker members of the senate try running away. Others call out to the Coruscant senate guards to protect them. An enterprising member orders the doors sealed. It makes no difference.

Obiwan Kenobi enters the senate. and jumps to the emperor's hover chair. Vader is hovering behind him still but he has left the inquisitors and the clone troopers at the entrance to the senate. The troopers are still firing at him indiscriminately. He is catching the bolts and directing them to the walls. He looks down at the emperor who is being treated by a medidroid, throws the droid away with the force, and closes his eyes for a few seconds. All the cameras are on him. Every household in the galaxy is watching. This is being projected to every screen on every warship. Imperial officers the galaxy over are watching from their posts.

He opens his eyes

Obiwan: By the ancient laws of this senate, and pursuant to charter 9 as set forth in the old republic, I name myself the vice chair of the senate Obiwan Kenobi. Alpha Tango Abera Cadebera Seven Five Thirteen.

There is a pause. Then a flurry of sound as all of the technology in the senate updates at the same time. The ancient code of the senate computers accepts Obiwan's passcode and turns the full power of the senate over to him. All connected systems update also.

Obiwan: Commanders execute order 4. Cancel order 66 and stop shooting.

All the clones stop shooting.

Obiwan: All powers are hereby handed over to me and whatsoever remains of the Jedi order. I declare myself Supreme Emperor Obiwan Kenobi.

Part 2

[nkatr84]

Obi Wan/female reader one shot : Waiting part 1/2

When the reader is sixteen, she starts working as a waitress at Dex’s Diner. On her first day, she meets the love of her life. There’s just one problem. He’s a Jedi...

It had been a hectic first day. But you wouldn’t complain. Dex liked that about you. You just did what you were told. Buckled down, smiled at customers and only messed up one order so far. You just prayed to the Force that your natural clumsiness wouldn’t flare up.

The Force had a sense of humor.

One minute Dex had left the kitchens to chat with an old friend. Ordering a round of milkshakes. After setting the third milkshake on the tray, you carefully brought it out of the kitchen. But no sooner had you stepped out into the main dining room, the door of the kitchen swung forward knocking into your feet.

Your feet tripped over themselves and as your body twisted you gasped, seeing the tray flying, the milkshakes up in the air. But as you braced yourself for impact, you felt a pair of strong arms catch you.

You peeked open one eye. Then both eyes opened as you took in the sparkling blue eyes looking down at you in concern. It was a boy about your age. And he was gorgeous. Chiseled jaw just losing its baby fat. A perfect nose. You noticed two moles. One on his cheek and one on his forehead. Your heart hammered in your chest.

“Are you alright?” He gently asked, his voice a smooth, refined accent of the upper levels of Coruscant.

“Never better...” you gasped catching your breath. But then you noticed his haircut. Auburn hair buzzcut short, except for one single small braid hanging over his shoulder. Brow furrowed, you realized you hadn’t heard the milkshakes crash to the floor. You glanced around to confirm your suspicions. The milkshakes and tray were floating in midair.

And despite the romance the imagery of being dipped over his knee conjured, reality finally crashed in to ruin the moment. Your savior was a Jedi padawan.

“Hey hey! Looks like your Padawan has good reflexes Qui Gon!” Chuckled Dex from the booth.

Across from him, a tall Jedi with long graying brown hair nodded in amusement,

“One should hope so. Alright Obi Wan I think the poor girl can stand on her own feet again.”

The padawan Obi Wan blushed and righted you on your feet,

“Yes Master.”

“And you can stop showing off. It’s an inappropriate use of the Force.” Qui Gon added, a small wink towards Dex who chuckled, his four arms crossed over his shaking belly.

“Sorry Master.” Obi Wan flushed again, waving his hand. The milkshakes righted themselves and floated over to the table. Obi Wan plucked the tray from midair and handed it to you.

“Thank you.” You said, voice shy and small, eyes cast to your feet.

“You’re welcome.” Obi Wan nodded before sliding into the booth next to his Master. You nodded, returning to your other customers. But not without one last glance over your shoulder at the handsome padawan. It just wasn’t fair.

You tried to forget about the Jedi. But blue eyes haunted your dreams at night. Your mind reasonsed with yourself that the Jedi had a code that forbid attachments. But that didn’t stop your foolish heart from pounding in your chest every time Qui Gon and Obi Wan stopped by the diner for lunch.

It was no use. Having a stupid crush on a Jedi was just part of your reality now. Dex noticed of course. He thought it was hilarious. He made you wait on them every time. You were beginning to suspect he made your schedule out to guarantee you would be working when they came in. You didn’t know how. Especially when they started to go away on more missions and wouldn’t be back for weeks at a time. Once for a whole year. Not that you were counting the days or worrying or anything...

The only way you could cope with the crush was self deprecation. Telling yourself that even if he wasn’t a Jedi, Obi Wan wouldn’t give you a second glance. Oh he was polite and asked how you were, making conversation. But everyone else pretty much ignored you. You even had a customer point out one day that you just had one of those faces that just blended in.

You didn’t think you were ugly. But being a little short and your figure being a bit on the plump side you also weren’t kidding yourself. You guessed that was why you longed for Obi Wan like you did. You couldn’t have him anyway, so you might as well dream of the impossible.

But you also wished someone would want you like you wanted Obi Wan.

In a blink of an eye three years had past. And one day Obi Wan came in by himself. That was new.

“Hey! Obi Wan! Where’s Qui Gon?” Dex wiped his hands on his apron. Your heart twisted at the pained look on his face. Noting how red his eyes were.

“Obi Wan?” Dex pressed, suspicion growing with dread.

“He...fell in battle.” Obi Wan swallowed.

Dex shut his yellow eyes.

“Close the door Kid. We’re closing early today.” The grayish tan alien told you, pain evident.

“Sure Dex.” You nodded crossing over to flip the sign. You were the only waitress working today. Even your droid waitress FLO was out for maintenance. You hadn’t even had a customer all day until Obi Wan came in. The sky rumbled with thunder, the rain matching the mood.

“I’ll take my leave then.” Obi Wan nodded.

“No you sit. We’re going to honor my friend.” Dex let out a shuddering breath, entering the kitchen.

“Will he be alright?” Obi Wan asked you. You jumped hearing a roar of rage and pots crash to the floor.

“He will be. Just give him a minute.” You told him.

Obi Wan nodded then took a seat in his usual booth. Keeping to the edge as if Qui Gon was still beside him.

“Are you alright?” You asked, sliding into the booth across from him.

Obi Wan gave a stiff nod,

“Of course. A Jedi must accept death as a part of life. Less he fall to the Dark side.”

You lifted your brows. That sounded rehearsed. As if he were clinging to that mantra like a life preserver.

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt.” You pointed out.

“No it doesn’t.” He conceded. You then noticed his padawan braid was gone.

“Were you knighted?” You asked.

He scoffed,

“Yeah. The council felt that anybody that can kill a Sith Lord after a thousand years needs to be a Knight.”

“A Sith Lord?” You asked. Obi Wan began to tell you the story. Of the Trade Federation setting up a blockade on Naboo and how they had tried to kill Qui Gon and Obi Wan when they came to negotiate for the Republic. Saving the Naboo Queen and the detour to Tatooine. The discovery of a boy named Anakin with a high M count, strong in the Force. Wicked political plots and the wicked Sith Darth Maul dueling both Qui Gon and Obi Wan. Qui Gon’s death and Obi Wan killing the Sith. Of Qui Gon making Obi Wan promise to train Anakin.

“So I was knighted and now Anakin is my padawan. I don’t know if I’m ready.” He confesses to you.

“Qui Gon believed you were.” You point out.

“Qui Gon also believed Anakin is the Chosen One.” Obi Wan sighed.

“Chosen One?”

“The one meant to bring balance to the Force. Don’t get me wrong. Qui Gon was an excellent teacher. I’m confident that he’s taught me well. But how can the kid that was once destined for the Argricore teach the Chosen One?” He asked.

Your heart swelled. So your Jedi Knight doubted himself too. Why was that so endearing? Maybe because it made your stubborn heart believed you were connected.

But Obi Wan needed a friend. So a friend you would be. You squeezed his hand on the table.

“With patience. Kindness. Devotion. All the qualities that Qui Gon saw in you.” You said.

He gave a small smile, eyes still sad,

“Thank you.”

Dex interrupted you, already swaying on his feet from the Spotcha he had stored in his office. The Besalisk poured a round of shots and you all toasted to Qui Gon. That night Obi Wan helped you get Dex home, who was in no condition to drive. Then he walked you home after the rain let up.

The next ten years you’d think of that night whenever you had a bad date or another Life Day went by alone. Oh you tried to date. But no one made you feel the way Obi Wan did.

You had one steady boyfriend once. A good man. A mechanic. But then you had blown it when he tried to kiss you. You had sighed Obi Wan’s name. He was kind enough to forgive you. Until he surprised you at the diner one day. He had been patiently waiting for your shift to end. When Obi Wan and Anakin walked in.

“There she is Obi Wan!” The thirteen year old pointed you out. Obi Wan gave a friendly smile. You had waved, biting your lips as you saw how the beard Obi Wan was growing out suited him.

But then you had caught your boyfriend’s eye. He gave you a sad smile. He knew. And the pity in his eyes told you he understood your dilemma. You were in love with a man forbidden to love. And while he had been free to love you, he just couldn’t compete. He had left and you never saw him again. You had heard he married a few years later, and you were glad. Meanwhile you would stop trying to date after that.

Funny enough that same day, after your boyfriend had left, you had approached Obi Wan and Anakin to take their order.

“Was that your boyfriend?” Anakin had asked.

“Anakin...”

“Yes he was.” You nodded, setting out their utensils, not adding that you were no longer an item as of five minutes ago.

“Does he think you’re pretty like Obi Wan does?” Anakin had asked.

You looked at the boy stunned as his Master admonished,

“Anakin!”

You glanced at Obi Wan out of the corner of your eye. He was shielding his eyes with his hand, neck and face flushed red. You couldn’t help but be amused. Anakin was more like a annoying kid brother to Obi Wan than student and teacher. You liked the kid enough, but sometimes his confidence struck you as arrogance. He was improving that attitude under Obi Wan though.

“I suppose he did.” You answered, giving them menus.

“Did?” Anakin caught.

“That’s none of our business Padawan.” Obi Wan softly scolded.

“I’ll give you a minute to decide.” You told them.

But you heard over your shoulder,

“Don’t you think she’s pretty Master?”

“Shut up Anakin...”

That stupid flare of hope ignited in you once again.

As years past and Anakin grew, the conflict between the Republic and the Trade Federation Separtists grew into a full blown war. Anakin was soon knighted and given his own padawan along with a command over a clone trooper squad. Obi wan was made a general with his own squadron. The Jedi visits to the diner were rare.

The war and Obi Wan wasn’t the only thing you had to worry about. You had to take several moonlighting jobs during the war. Once you were hired as a server at a fancy gala for Republic senators.

You rarely visited the Upper levels outside Coco Town. The opulence of the ballroom had left you speechless. Still you did your job. When you heard a familiar voice call your name.

You were sure you were gawking as Obi Wan approached you. He looked so dashing in his armor.

“Obi Wan!”

It wasn’t you that called his name. A tall, beautiful woman with blonde hair and rich robes caught his attention.

“Duchess.” He said. You heard the warmth in his tone. The one that matched his eyes. You turned and disappeared into the background, not seeing Obi Wan try to introduce you only to find you gone.

You didn’t really have time to process how Obi Wan had looked at the Duchess over the next few months. You had to earn a living. You started taking waitressing jobs in Coruscant nightclubs. Which required a lot of skimpy short dresses. No one noticed you anyway. So they never bothered you too much.

Until a familiar voice said over the chatter of crowds and booming music,

“No one told me the view here was so lovely.”

With a blush you turned to see Obi Wan once again in his armor approach you.

“Hello Obi Wan.” You nodded.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

“Well between the taxes the Chancellor imposed on businesses considered non essential to the war, and the taxes that made my rent go up, a girl has to eat. Even Dex has a second job now.” You shrugged.

“Which explains why I saw you at the gala. I’m sorry I didn’t know you were working. I thought you might have been there as someone’s date.” He said.

You scoffed,

“Yeah right. Who would take a girl from Coco town to one of those Upper level parties?”

“I would be proud to have you on my arm.” He said. You looked up at him at that.

“That’s sweet. But I don’t have time for parties these days.” You told him, trying to excuse yourself.

“Maybe...when the war is over?”

You stopped and looked at him in shock. Did he just? No he thought of you as a friend.

“Well you’ll have to win the war first.” You recovered.

“All the more reason to do so then My Dear. And quickly.” He said, lips tugged up. Ugh. When did he get so charming?

“Obi Wan!” Ashoka waved him over next to Anakin, Senator Amidala and a few troopers.

“I should get back to work.” You said.

“If you get off soon or have a break you’re free to join us.” He said kindly.

“Thanks. But as soon as I get off I have to head home to get a few hours sleep. I have to open Dex’s in the morning.” You told him.

“Then I’ll walk you home.” He nodded.

“You don’t have to.” You shook your head.

“I insist. And don’t you dare try to sneak out on me this time.” He told you.

You gave him a mock salute,

“Yes Sir.”

He chuckled and returned to his friends, as you took a steadying breath. But you couldn’t help but hear the Senator ask,

“Will your friend join us Obi Wan?”

“You mean his girlfriend?” Ahsoka teased.

“Snips!”

Obi Wan sighed,

“Anakin do control your padawan.”

It turned out that it wasn’t just Obi Wan to walk you home. You were also escorted by a few of his men. Men that had chuckled when Obi Wan had kissed your cheek goodnight. Until a bark from their general made them snap to attention.

You watched him leave that night, savoring the kiss lingering on your cheek. A memory you would cling to when a month later you got the awful news. Obi Wan had been murdered.

You had wanted to curl up and cry for days after receiving the news from Ahsoka. Anakin was understandably too upset to even speak since it happened. But Dex had gotten himself kriffing drunk when he heard. Someone had to keep the diner going.

The diner was closed the day of the funeral. You had to go solo. Dex couldn’t bring himself to go to it. You had never been to the Jedi temple before. It was massive and almost otherworldly. You were escorted to a lift. Where the Duchess from the ball joined you. She too had tears in her eyes.

You were left alone in the lift together. When she asked,

“How did you know Obi Wan?”

“I work at the diner he liked to go for lunch. He’s been coming ever since he was a padawan. The owner Dex is...was...a good friend. He couldn’t come today.” You explained.

“Sounds like Obi Wan.” She nodded fondly. “He protected me during the Mandalore Civil War. Him and Qui Gon. Then just Obi Wan for nearly a year. We grew so close...”

She sniffed delicately into a hanky, not noticing how you turned green. Of course a beautiful Duchess would turn his head. You were just a plain waitress from the lower levels. A friend. Every moment you thought had been proof of hidden affection for you was just a product of your imagination. You had tried to push away a good friend because of some stupid crush. A stupid crush that he wouldn’t return because of the woman next to you and the Jedi code. And now he was gone.

The lift opened and you exited into a large open air chamber. Your breath catching seeing the body lying in state under a sheet. You only noticed Anakin seething in rage in front of the body. The look on his face gave you chills. The rest of the service you kept your gaze on Obi Wan’s body until the last moment he was lowered into his tomb that slid closed. The emblem of the Jedi craved into his marker.

Unlike other funerals you had attended, once the service was over the Jedi left. Regular mourners like you, the Duchess and Senator Amidala lingered to give final respects. When it was your turn, you whispered,

“I’ll never stop loving you Obi Wan Kenobi. Even if you never loved me.”

You returned home and back to life. A few days later, it was almost closing when a man entered. He was bald headed, and rough looking. A scar and tattoo on his face. Bounty hunter written all over him.

“Hi. Welcome to Dex’s. The kitchen just closed but if you want caff or pie we have plenty.” You greeted with a courteous smile.

He stood there staring at you. He made you nervous. But not afraid. Odd.

“Sir?”

He shook himself,

“Just caff.”

“Coming up.” You nodded turning to grab the pot. You startled when you found him sitting in Obi Wan’s booth. Sure others had sat there, but the way he sat now, it was just too similar. Too eerie.

Something wrong?” He asked, voice gruff but gentle. There was something familiar about it.

“Nothing. It’s just...have we met?” You asked.

“No. I’d remember a pretty girl like you.” He said hiding his smile behind his cup. He wasn’t that attractive, but you blushed nevertheless.

“Not many people would call me pretty.” You said.

“They’re idiots.”

“Well thanks.” You laughed, ready to leave him alone.

“Why are you sad?” He stopped you.

“Excuse me?”

“Did you lose someone?” He pressed.

You gave a short laugh,

“That obvious huh?”

“Who did you lose?” He asked.

“A friend.”

“Just a friend?”

You furrowed your brow,

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes. He was just my friend.”

“I meant no offense.” He said as if remembering himself.

“Right...” you nodded wanting to excuse yourself.

“It’s just...I can’t believe a man would just be content to be your friend. I’d imagine...he’d wish things were different. More than once.” He said.

“Maybe. But not with me.” You said.

“Why not?”

“Well at first I thought he was devoted to his calling. A calling I was told didn’t allow for attachments. So I didn’t want to take that away from him. Only later I discovered he had feelings for someone else.” You confessed. Why you were sharing this with a stranger you didn’t know. But it felt good to confess it.

“Maybe he was confused himself. Torn between his calling and his feelings for two different women.” He offered.

“You haven’t seen the other woman.” You scoffed putting down the pot and leaning against the booth.

“Let me guess? Tall? Blonde? Regal?” He prompted.

“Uncanny. You sure we haven’t met?” You asked.

“I’d never forget meeting you.” He said.

It was the twinkle in his eye that had you shaking your head.

“Well. If you had seen them together, there would be no doubt on who he would choose if he wanted to give up his calling. They looked made for each other.” You told him.

“Maybe. But I can see why he’d be drawn to you.”

At your skeptical brow raise he continued, “Your kindness. Your selflessness. Your work ethic.”

“This sounds like a job interview.” You quipped.

“Your eyes. How they light up when you look at him. Your smile would haunt his dreams. Your laugh ringing in his ears. How you treat him like a normal man. Put his happiness ahead of your own. The other woman may have a strength, intelligence and beauty that’s draws him as well, and he does care for her. Deeply. But he can’t imagine a normal life with her. He can with you. It’s tempted him far more than she ever did. All he needed was a word from you.” The stranger went on.

“Who are you?” You asked. He suddenly stood, looking out the window. He exited the booth looking down at you.

“A coward. For not doing this sooner.” He replied. Then he kissed you. Your eyes widened in surprise. Then you melted in his embrace.

Before losing yourself completely, he suddenly bolted into the kitchen. Confused beyond belief, you tried to figure out what just happened. When Anakin stormed in, lightsaber ignited.

“Where is he?” He barked.

“Who?” You asked.

“Rako Hardeen!” He hissed.

“Who?!”

He growled stomping into the kitchen. Ahsoka burst in, out of breath, troopers on her heel.

“What’s going on? Who was that man?” You demanded.

“That’s the man that killed Obi Wan!” She huffed. You collapsed into the booth, feeling sick.

Hours past and you were kept there for questioning. Master Windu had come to question you. If you knew anything about Hardeen. What you talked about. You got the impression that he was trying to see if you were an accomplice. That angered you. It was Master Yoda that stopped him. The wise green Jedi master sensed the truth in you he had said.

“Forgive Master Windu and Young Skywalker you must. Seeking justice they are.” He told you as the Jedi left, a few Clones assigned to take you home.

“It’s not like I asked for a murderer to seek me out. Master Yoda? Why would he kiss me?” You asked, embarrassed. But you had to know.

“Hmm. To get in heads of targets, snipers learn everything about them they do. Saw your friendship with Obi Wan he did. Snipers known to fall for those their target cared about. Happens more than you think.” Yoda assured you.

It made sense. Especially given your odd conversation. Obviously just the man’s misconceptions.

“Hmm. Curious though. Why call himself a coward he did?” He asked. A secret dancing on his little smile as he left you.

To top off the strange day, after the troopers had cleared your apartment, posting a guard outside just in case, you dreamed of the kiss. Only when Hardeen broke the kiss, he had turned into Obi Wan.

You tried to get on with life. Work at the diner during the days, the clubs at night and on your days off. Hardeen was caught and sent to prison. You still dreamed of that kiss.

Months went by. Anakin started to come for lunch. His way of remembering Obi Wan you supposed. Only he only brought Ahsoka half the time. Senator Amidala was often his company. Padme as she insisted you call her. And judging by the looks they gave each other, they weren’t just friends. Which didn’t surprise you. Anakin had always been more willing to break the rules than Obi Wan had.

As much as you enjoyed getting to know them better, you still felt like a third wheel. When Ahsoka and the Clones joined him, you were more inclined to hang out. But seeing them flirting when they thought no one was looking you had to roll your eyes. Did they know how obvious they were?

But one day, you woke up with the realization that you hadn’t dreamt of the kiss. Maybe you were finally moving on. You fixed yourself a full breakfast. Then walked to Dex’s for the afternoon shift. Settling into the routine of taking and filling orders. You were mixing a milkshake when a voice you never thought you’d hear again spoke up.

“Hello there.”

You gasped, dropping the glass. Only it didn’t shatter. You looked and saw it was floating in midair.

“We really must stop meeting like this.” That voice said. You turned. Praying this wasn’t a cruel dream. For there was Obi Wan. His hair was buzzcut short again, his shaven beard growing back in. Smiling gently at you.

“That’s an inappropriate use of the Force.” You reminded him.

“Just say the word and I’ll give it up.” He said.

You blanched,

“What?”

He was interrupted by Dex running from the kitchen,

“Obi Wan! Knew you weren’t dead!”

“Hello Dex.” Obi Wab greeted before being pulled into a tight four armed hug.

The greeting soon turned into a celebration when Anakin, Ahsoka, Padme and the Clones showed up. You were soon given an explanation. Obi Wan had faked his death to go undercover to save the Chancellor from an assassination plot. Taking the identity of Rako Hardeen and even changing his face. Doing the timeline in your head, you realized something.

“That was you that night wasn’t it?” You asked him quietly.

“I’m sorry for deceiving you.” He apologized.

“But why?” You asked.

“I needed to make sure my voice modulator was working correctly. That if a friend who knew me for years couldn’t tell, then I could fool everyone else.” He replied.

Friend. Of course.

“And the kiss? All the things you said?” You asked.

“Well I like to be though.” He quipped, taking a bite of cake.

“I see.”

“You’re angry with me.” He stated.

“Maybe I am. After all Master Kenobi you did manipulate my feelings just to test your dumb disguise.” You clarified.

“Manipulate? I didn’t mean...”

“Next time try Satine. I’m sure she won’t be so easily fooled.” You told him yanking off your apron and stomping out, ignoring Obi Wan calling after you.

It would be almost a year before you saw him again. Anakin said he was focused on ending the war. Not that you asked about him. More than...six times. This time you suspected Dex had changed your schedule so you could avoid the Jedi. Until one night when you showed up for the late shift. Dex was sick again. So you would have to close up. Luckily you didn’t have to work the clubs tonight.

Only when you got there, you saw Obi Wan in his usual booth.

“He’s been sitting there all day. Won’t let me or FLO get him anything.” the other waitress Hermoine told you. You sighed tying on your apron. You still had a job to do.

“What can I get you General?” You had asked.

“That depends.” He replied.

“On?”

“If you’re still mad at me?” He asked.

You laughed softly, folding your arms,

“Believe it or not Obi Wan, regular people don’t hold on to past grievances. We’ve got lives to live.”

“I know. It’s one of the things I admire about you.” He said.

“I’m sorry about Satine.” You offered. You had heard it from the news. The Duchess assassinated. Mandalore under the control of a mysterious crime boss. The fate of the war up in the air.

“Thank you.” He said softly. Eyes sad.

“You were there weren’t you?” You guessed taking a seat.

“I tried to rescue her. I can’t say much, but the man who killed her is an old enemy of mine. He wanted me to suffer. I barely escaped.” Obi Wan told you.

“I’m sure she knew you did your best.” You assured him.

“She told me she loved me. That she always would.” He confessed.

Your heart skipped a beat,

“And what did you tell her?”

“That had she said the word, I’d have left the order.” He said.

“You did love her.” You said. But not me, you thought.

“Remember that year Qui Gon and I went to help during the Mandalore Civil War?” He asked.

“Yes. Satine told me. At your funeral. You spent a year together.” You recalled.

“We did grow close. And if she had asked I would have left the order. If I hadn’t mucked up our one and only kiss.” He explained.

“Mucked up how?”

“I called her by your name.” He confessed.

“What?” You blinked.

“She was furious. I tried to explain but I didn’t know how. I still don’t to be honest.” He said.

Your brain stopped working. You tried to process his words.

“I devoted myself to the Order because it was easier to ignore the fact that I cared for not just one woman but two. So I wouldn’t have to choose. That cost one of you your life. And it’s not fair. To either of you.

I only thank the Maker that no one knows about you. None of my enemies anyway. To be on the safe side a trooper will be working undercover here to protect you. You might have to pretend to be dating him.”

Obi Wan had grumbled this last part.

“Jealous?” You teased him.

“Very. But I promise you once this blasted war is over, I’m not going to keep you waiting anymore. I’ll leave the Order and we’ll figure out what we have. Together.” He stated.

“Are you just saying this because I’m your only choice now?” You asked.

He looked confused,

“What? No...I...”

You stopped him by taking his hand,

“Obi Wan. The Force chose you to have these marvelous gifts. To be used for good. Even before I knew about Satine I never wanted you to give that side of yourself up for me. I love you for who you are. As you are. I’ve dreamed of you wanting me as I’ve wanted you. But because you can’t live without me. Not because you’re scared to lose me. Correct me if I’m wrong but that’s the path to the Dark Side right?”

“Right as always my Darling.” He conceded.

[sellyoursoulforagoodfic]

Request: Jango Fett x Jedi!Reader

Request by @sweeetteaa​: So have had this idea for a while now, but I suck at writing so hear me out: Jango Fett x reader, but the reader is a Jedi who goes to investigate Kamino with Obi-Wan and when she meets Jango - it’s love at first sight. And of course sassy Boba also loves her.

Jango Fett x reader

Word Count: 1825

Note: Obi-wan is on Kamino a LOT longer than he is in the movie because reasons

There were times when you thoroughly enjoyed your long-standing friendship with Obi-wan Kenobi. For example, any time he’d come to you ranting about whatever ridiculous situation Anakin had gotten them into; you almost always got a hearty laugh out of those instances.

This, however, was not one of those times.

Right now, you were rueing the day you’d decided to spar with this particular human because he’d dragged you along on his hunt for an apparently not-so-imaginary planet where you were currently getting an astoundingly confusing tour to show off an army of (admittedly quite attractive) clones made for the Republic.

You leveled your friend with a glare behind the tour guide's back and mouthed a harsh, “What the fuck?”

He just shrugged helplessly. His face smoothed back over into calm interest the instant the Kaminoan turned to glance at him. It never ceased to amaze you when he displayed that renowned ‘Negotiator’ facade.

Always one to be hands-on rather than to be lectured at, you spoke up, “You said they were highly trained for battle, yes?”

“Of course,” she replied breezily.

“Would it be possible for me to sit in on one of their drills? I’m somewhat of a tactician myself; I’d like to see how they perform in action. You and Obi-wan can keep viewing the process in the meantime.”

“Brilliant idea!” Obi-wan agreed, obviously seeing your plan of gathering more information.

The Kaminoan nodded. “Your timing is most convenient,” she informed you. “There is a simulation scheduled a few minutes from now. We have an overhead observation bay from which you can watch alongside their instructor.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

~

By the time you arrived, the simulation was already underway, and the clone that appeared to be the instructor judging from the under-armor blacks he was wearing barely spared you a glance while you were introduced. Not that you could blame his disinterest, his brothers down below were putting on quite the show. Still, you would like to glean at least a little information from the clones themselves about this place, and there needed to be a conversation happening for that so . . .

“Your sniper there needs to learn that his priority shouldn’t be the heavy troopers first.”

A handful of scars on the instructor’s face were exposed to you when he turned to smirk in your direction were surprising; you’d assumed such injuries would have been healed flawlessly in this facility. Apparently, that wasn’t the case. There was a curious rush of Force that rushed through you when he raised an amused eyebrow at you. “Oh? Who should he be focusing on then?”

“If he wants the rest of his team to survive, he’d target the stealth team making their way around the edges of the room.”

His brown eyes widened fractionally in mild surprise. “A Jetii that cares about the safety of soldiers? An unusual find. Who are you again?”

“Y/N. Another Jedi and I are here to check on the status of the army.” You made sure to make your voice wobble in a false tell.

One he seemed to buy based off the way that his smirk grew into a lopsided grin that made your heart inexplicably race. “You’re a terrible liar.”

You weren’t, but it played to your advantage to make him think you couldn’t lie for shit. Your Master, Mace Windu, had always encouraged your underhanded methods of gaining information even when the other Jedi frowned on them. ‘Use every advantage,’ he’d always say. The strange emotions that were racing around your mind because of this strange man, though, did concern you, but you shoved that to the side for later examination. You allowed a defeated-sounding sigh escape your lips as you let your body sag. “So I’ve been told.”

“So let me guess: something tipped you off about Kamino and you came looking?”

Well, he was certainly more intuitive than you would have guessed given that he was right and all. Not just a pretty face. “Busted.”

“So a tactician, piss-poor liar, and a curious adventurer. You are quite strange for a Jetii.”

“And you seem to think you know a lot about Jedi for someone who’s never left this planet.”

The second the words left your mouth, his dark eyes lit up, and you knew you’d made a mistake in your read of the man. It very abruptly all fell into place. He didn’t have those scars because of any fault in the healing here in the facility; he’d earned them in the field away from proper medical care. His knowledge wasn’t learned from some other instructor; it was learned first-hand. And his prejudice wasn’t taught institutionally; it was born from some darkness in his past.

“You’re not a clone, are you?”

“No, sweetheart, I’m the original.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of his quiet chuckle, and you’d be damned if you didn’t crack a small smile yourself in response. Vow of attachments aside, you couldn’t help but already be fond of this strange man you’d just met. “So what’s your name then, Mr. Original?”

“Jango Fett.”

That name rang a bell or six. “The Mandalorian bounty hunter?” The one with the famous loathing of Jedi because they slaughtered his people?

“My reputation precedes me?”

“As well as your hatred for my kind, making you a curious choice for the progenitor of an army meant to work beside us to protect the Republic.”

“Money is money, sweetheart, and I’m learning that there might be a few Jetii that aren’t all bad.”

“A few?”

“Well . . . one or two . . . that I’d like to get to know better over a friendly dinner?”

“I suppose that could be arranged. We need to talk about how you’re training you snipers to be blind, anyway.”

~

As it turned out, dinner was in Jango’s apartment along with his clone/son Boba who you found out rather quickly you adored. The initial greeting had been rough, but he quickly warmed to you when you showed him the blaster you kept hidden within your robes for emergencies. He’d been telling some tale for the last few minutes about some trip he and his father had gone on, and his excitement was practically tangible.

“So anyways, Dad is busy trying to tie the guy up, and I spotted a no-good Jetii--”

“Boba!” his father interjected.

“What? It’s not like she’s a normal Jetii. She carries a blaster and agreed to go on a date with you.”

Your eyes widened dramatically, “This isn’t--”

“Son, this isn’t--” Jango cut himself off as the two of you talked over each other in your haste to deny the attraction you’d both been feeling all night.

“I’m a kid, Dad. I’m not stupid.”

“Boba--” This time you were cut off by a knock at the door.

The boy was already on his feet as he shouted, “I’ll get it!”

In the quiet that followed, Jango admitted, “He wasn’t wrong to assume that, you know.”

“I know,” you replied honestly, “but I took the vows, and we just met . . .”

“Dad! It’s for you!”

“Coming!” His eyes never left yours as he stood. “If you ever decide to leave that order of hypocrites . . .” The offer was clear.

“I know who to call,” you promised.

In the span of a single breath, you went from gazing at him longingly to being stunned still at the feeling of his lips on yours to staring at his retreating back in still-frozen surprise. And then everything devolved into a whirl of passive-aggressive accusatory comments, Obi-wan’s pitying gaze, and a chase that left you pondering, well, everything as you and your best friend chased the man that so easily swayed your mind away from your rigid vow of no attachments. 

“Obi-wan?” you called quietly over the comms that connected your two fighters. The two of you were tracking Jango’s ship, and you had a blackhole of anxiety gnawing its way through your stomach.

“I’m guessing this is something about that date I interrupted?”

“It wasn’t a date,” you argued automatically, but even you could hear how convincing you weren’t, “but yes.”

“It’s really getting to you that he is our assassin, isn’t it?” Your silence spoke libraries about your answer. “I’m sorry, darling.” Surprisingly, he didn’t kick into a lecture about the Code like he would have with Anakin, which you greatly appreciated. 

“Do you remember the old myths about the Force?”

“I suppose you have a specific one in mind?”

“The one about how everyone has someone out there connected to them by the Force.”

There was a heavy pause. “Do you believe this Jango Fett is your soulmate, Y/N?” Ever straight to the point was the renowned Obi-wan Kenobi.

You bit your lip, trying to fight back the tears that were currently making your eyes sting. That myth was the only way you could explain the feelings you had when looking at Jango, the way the Force seemed to dance between the two of you when he kissed you. “Yes.”

This time it was Obi-wan’s silence that was telling. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

~

After everyone was onboard a ship that was flying away from Geonosis, you locked yourself in your room with only Obi-wan allowed to enter so you could mourn in peace. All at once the galaxy was at war, your soulmate (for that’s what he must have been for you to have been brought to your knees by his death the second his head was severed even though you were too far to have seen it with your own eyes) was dead, and you were surrounded by his clones like they were living ghosts. You were a wreck, to put it mildly, and you could not let Anakin see you like this and get it into his head that such attachments were acceptable even if this was a special circumstance.

Already, you’d been weeping for hours while collapsed in the middle of the floor. And that was precisely the position Obi-wan found you when he finally returned from giving his report to the Council. In an instant, you were swept into a tight hug.

“Is there anything I can do?”

You shook your head minutely. “I can’t do this, Obi,” your voice shook. “I can’t fight with his ghosts by my side only to watch them die under my command in a war that no one wants.”

“You have my support no matter what you choose,” he promised quietly, “as long as you keep in touch.”

A shaky breath left your lips as some of the tension left your body. You hadn’t realized it, but part of you had been terrified that you would lose your best friend in this chaos. “Thank you.”

“What will you do?”

“Boba was there.”

“The little clone?”

“His son . . . sort of. He’s just a child that lost his father. I can’t just leave him.”

“I’d expect nothing less from you.”

[arsonistvoyager]

Light // Anakin Skywalker x Reader

pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Summary:

a/n: Okay so this was pretty lenient and open so I hope you enjoy my interpretation and what I wrote from it! Thank you for requesting!<3

First time writing ANGST so buckle up >:)

When you think of death what is the first thing that comes to your mind. A tunnel with bright white light at the end? Floating on a cloud in the bright blue skies? Maybe nothing. Dark, endless void.

What happens to the force that flows in your body, just like the blood running through your veins? The grand masters of the Jedi used to say we are one with the force, from the moment we are born to the moment we leave the physical world. So does the force join us in our afterlife? Does it carry us safely to the other world, like a loving parent? When your life flashes before your eyes and you see your loved ones for the last time, make sure to embrace the power that surrounds you. It’s leading you into a peaceful place.

                                                           ---

He could not have forgotten. You had told him the exact date, the exact place and the exact time you were gonna be back on Coruscant and then you had told him that he should wait there for you. One minute passed. Surely you were just paranoid. Another minute passed – as did a bright blue rodian man on his speeder, shouting something at you in his native tongue and laughing while he drove into the deeper levels of the ecumenopolis. You pulled the hood of your cloak over you head and walked a few steps back to not stand too close to the path that speeders drove on. It was then your back collided with a broad man's chest. Before you could turn around to apologize to the man you felt two large arms wrap around your shoulders and pull you even closer.

The logical train of thought anyone would have had in this moment would undoubtedly be kriff I’m getting kidnapped not finally he’s here. But you were accustomed to these strong arms and the way they wrapped around you by now. “You’re late.” Anakin turned you around and put his hands on your hips, before pulling you closer again. Your chest now pressed against his, as the two of you hid in the shadows of a dirty cantina wall. Anakin pushed your hood back and admired your face. Your hair was dishevelled, the bright blue and purple light of neon signs illuminating the back of your head, but he smiled fondly. “I’m sorry, my love. Master Fisto held me back because he had some important matters to discuss. You were probably worried.” His eyes shined with such admiration and purity that you had a hard time taking yours away from his – eventually you did.

But only to gaze at his other features. His hair was messy but in a beautifully styled kind of way. You wondered if he took the time to get make himself pretty for you or if the turbines of the spaceships just blew his locks into perfection.

Then you noticed the bags under his eyes – the poor man must’ve not gotten enough sleep in the last few days. What was the planets name he had told you they sent him on? Csilla? Something on the edge of nowhere.

As you noticed his lips moving closer to yours you decided to confess what had been on your mind and made you worry.

“You know I’m not familiar with the Jedi things you do, Ani. Of course I’m worried. And I thought maybe you were so busy you-- you’d forget what I said to you.” His lips stopped inches before yours and you cursed yourself, when he pulled away a few more, as you tried to lean onto him so they could connect after all.

“(Y/N).” He grabbed your chin and held it in his palm before lifting your head slightly to get your eyes on his eye level. “What are these thoughts? I have a lot of things on my mind but you shine brighter than all of them. I’ll never forget you!”

This time, before you could answer him he pressed his lips onto yours and put his his free hand on the back of your head, brushing down on your hair and smoothing it out in the process.

When you parted your lips he grabbed both of your hands in his and grinned from ear to ear.

“Now let’s go. I’m in the mood for some drinks. Let me take the light of my life on a date once in a while.”

You lips moved on their own when they curled into a shy smile. “Is that okay? I mean there could be Jedi anywhere that would see us. You know we can just go to my apartment like always-” The Jedi pressed a gloved finger to your lips. You could barely tell that it was his prosthetic hand. He had used the force with that thing many times in front of you, mainly to impress you with little floating object tricks. You pressed your lips towards his finger and he pulled it away. “We’ll go to 79’s.” Your eyes widened at that. The Clone bar? You were barely near that district, let alone set a foot in that bar. As a civilian you had of course seen the coruscant guard patrol the upper parts of the city, where you lived. And as the secret wife of esteemed Jedi General Anakin Skywalker you had even met some of his top officers, including famed Captain Rex and two ARC troopers under his command. You trusted them with your life, because you knew Anakin did but a packed space full of drunk men? One of them was bound to talk. “Ani, are you sure this is a good idea?”

Your husband laughed as if he had just read your thoughts and threw his arm around your shoulder, leading you towards the platforms that held an ensemble of various bars and cantinas. “I know these men, they’re no snitches.”

                                                      ---

“Ani. Ani...oh kriff. A-Ani-” You tried to grab onto his robes, tried to grab onto anything really but your hands were shaking much too violently to do so. “Shh. Shh, my light, calm down.” His voice must’ve shaken as much as your hands did. Finally your grasped his dark robes and clawed your fingers into the fabric, dreading the moment you would be weak enough to let go. “Ani please stop it. Make it stop. I don’t want this I don’t- I’m scared.” You choked back your tears only to have more forming in your eyes while your other hand, that had been pressed to the center of your stomach, started shaking as well.

Blood dripped through your fingers and pooled on the ground you were lying on. “Ani I’m scared please. What’s gonna happen.” By now you felt the blood in your throat, tasted the iron and salt of the tears that spilled from your eyes onto your cheeks and ran over your lips.

“What’s gonna happen” Anakin put his hand over your trembling one that had gripped his cloak and squeezed it tightly. Oh maker – when had that one started shaking again? This was going too fast. Much too fast. “What’s gonna happen is we’ll put you into a bacta tank and you’ll be fine within an hour. No within ten minutes. One minute. You won’t even feel it, it’s so fast! Ha you’ll be fine in a second!” He was smiling at you while his own tears escaped those beautiful blue eyes. Oh when had fear and despair taken over his usual look of love and admiration? You did not want him to be scared. After all he had tried his best to block the blaster shots that had come your way, when you exited the speeder and set foot on the balcony of your apartment. Since when had bounty hunters and assassins started work on such high levels of the city?

It didn’t matter. Anakin had thrown him off the platform with a flick of his wrist and he had fallen deep to his death. In fact it had been so deep he might have still been falling as you were holding onto your gaping wound and staring into your husbands eyes. “Ani I love you. You won’t forget me right? You-You won’t forget me. Promise me.” Were your eyes deceiving you or had his eyes flashed in a golden light for a second? “You won’t leave me. I won’t let that happen. It’s not fair. It’s not fair!” Anakin was sobbing. When had he started sobbing? Everything was going too fast.

“Ani please promise me you won’t forget me. You love me right?” You almost choked on your last words, quickly turning your head to cough up some droplets of blood.

“I won’t.” His hands reached up to hold your face. The mechanic hand felt just as warm as the real one. “I won’t forget you. You’re the light in my life.” The last thing you saw was Anakin’s beautiful face, the bright light of a landing ship behind him illuminating his entire body. His hair was dishevelled. The bags under his eyes prominent as always. Oh your poor Ani, he must’ve not gotten enough sleep in the past few days. “I’ll never forget you.”

[jasontoddiefor]

Remember that AU in which Anakin is a single father in witness protection after turning on his boss and falls in love with Obi-Wan? Here’s more. Read on AO3!

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Anakin thought he wasn’t seeing correctly when he stared into the face of Dooku Serenno. Anakin had met the man plenty of times in the past, in the part of his past he thought he could l finally leave behind and forget, more or less at least. He couldn’t believe it. Everything had been going great lately. He had gotten a part-time job to keep busy when the twins were gone and the FBI wasn’t breathing down his neck, the twins had adjusted wonderfully to Kindergarten and had made plenty of friends, and Anakin had a boyfriend.

An absolutely perfect man miles out of his league whom he didn’t deserve and still stayed with him. Obi-Wan was too good to be true sometimes. He was caring and thoughtful with his every gesture, adored the twins and never even minded it when they talked about Padmé. Anakin hadn’t even thought about dating again before meeting him, his status making it more than difficult, and even without that – Anakin loved Padmé. He couldn’t imagine not being in love with her and had always assumed that immediately would deter anybody who could see past the whole single-father of twins and yet Obi-Wan never even looked jealous. If anything, he encouraged the twins to speak of their mother.

Anakin had known that he fell hard and fast for people, but the thought of Obi-Wan someday not being there had already become unbearable.

And now he was staring at Dooku.

Dooku, who knew all the blood that stained Anakin’s hands, who had seen him at his worst and walked through the aftermaths of one of Vader’s infamous tantrums. The fragile peace Anakin had found was threatening to fall apart just because of his presence.

“I believe should be asking you that,” Dooku spoke up icily. “What are you doing here, Vader? What do you want from my grandson?”

“Grandson?” Anakin echoed. Right. Dinner with Obi-Wan’s family of which Dooku was a part. Anakin couldn’t see any resemblance between Obi-Wan and Dooku – but Obi-Wan had said that he was adopted. And yet, still-

Still – how could somebody as good as Obi-Wan come from the same family as Dooku. The bastard was to blame that Sidious had gotten away with as many of his crimes as he had. Sure, Sidious had also threatened him, but the man had been stupid enough to help Sheev Palpatine once. He should have known what it would lead to. The only reason Anakin hadn’t mentioned any of that to the agents holding his leash was simply that there were more important people to worry about than the lawyers Sidious had made use of. His enforcers were much more dangerous and more likely to kill you.

“I didn’t know about this,” Anakin continued.

Dooku rolled his eyes. “Obviously… But neither did I. I thought you were dead.”

“I am,” Anakin hissed. “Vader-” Anakin paused to look around as if anybody could overhear him. It was stupid, but he had just walked into the guy who was the reason he was short an arm. He figured he could allow himself some paranoia. “Vader died four years ago and I do not plan on resurrecting him.”

“So you will just content yourself with bringing your enemies down on my family?”

Anakin felt his rage begin to boil up. That was absolutely not the case. He had done everything he could to ensure his family was safe and that nobody near him would ever learn of the secrets he was hiding.

“I didn’t-“

“Daddy, daddy!”

The door was ripped open again and Luke was staring at Anakin with wide eyes, utterly excited. “Daddy, Obi-Wan’s daddy is even taller than you!”

“Oh?” Anakin crouched down in front of his son, keenly avoiding looking ta Dooku. He knew that if he did so now, he would lose all his calm. He needed to get away from this situation for a moment.

He never should have invited Obi-Wan over, never should have spoken to him-

“That’s impossible, sweetheart,” Anakin said seriously. “Are you sure?”

“Yes!” Luke shouted and took Anakin’s hand to pull him inside. “Daddy, you have to come see.”

Glancing back at Dooku, Anakin allowed himself to be dragged away by his son. He made a gesture that hopefully conveyed that Dooku should shut his mouth and focused on Luke instead.

Luke led him into the living room. It was small but cozy and half the dishes were already put on the table. The food looked amazing, much more extravagant than anything Anakin was used to for homemade dinners and his and Obi-Wan’s dates had all been homemade dinners because Anakin was a paranoid bastard who didn’t want to leave the twins home alone with a babysitter.

Anakin kind of wanted to throw up.

This was so normal.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had done that-

No, he could. Over five years ago, in those last months of Padmé’s pregnancy when they had thought they had escaped Sidious and were just happy together. They had eaten breakfast in bed and cooked together and wondered how they would handle all this with a child as neither had been particularly used to running a household on their own. They had tried to figure out what house to buy and how to paint the nursery-

“So you’re Anakin Lars, yes?”

The man Luke had led him to was indeed taller than Anakin, though not by that much. He had long hair, pulled back into a ponytail, and a kind smile. He seemed like a nice man, utterly unbothered by Leia sitting on his shoulders and braiding his hair.

“Yes, Sir,” Anakin said.

That was how you still introduced yourself to your partner’s parent, wasn’t it? Anakin wasn’t slipping back into yes, master, no, master, I will try, master-

“It’s nice to meet you Anakin,” Qui-Gon said warmly. “And no need to call me Sir, please. I’ve been waiting to meet you. Your twins have already had a lot to say about you.”

“Ah yes. They talk a lot,” Anakin said lamely. Could this situation get even anymore out of control?

“Honestly, Father,” Qui-Gon then sighed and looked past Anakin to where Dooku must be standing. “What have you told this poor boy? He looks like we’re going to eat him alive.”

“I have done nothing-“

“We used to work together,” Anakin quickly intervened. “I gave Dooku’s company a hand when it came to their cybersecurity and somebody still managed to get to Dooku. Don’t think he’ll ever forgive me for that one. It was a huge loss, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Dooku gritted out in-between shut teeth. “Tremendously.”

“Is that work I hear?”

A new man entered the living room from the kitchen it looked like. His black hair was a mess and he mustered the group in front of him with interested eyes. This must be Xanatos then, Obi-Wan’s other brother.

“I thought we said no work talk,” Xanatos continued and then held his hand out to Anakin. “Nice to meet the guy who made my brother act like a schoolgirl with a crush. I’m Xanatos.”

Anakin took his hand. “Anakin.” Vader, Vader, Vader. “Lars. Niece to meet you. Obi-Wan has told me a lot about you.”

“All good only, I hope?” Xanatos asked with a smirk that was borderline flirtatious.

“Stop flirting with my boyfriend!” Obi-Wan then shouted from the kitchen as well and moments later walked inside with a couple of bowls in hand. “Please just ignore him, Anakin. He’s an idiot. Qui-Gon dropped him too much on the head as a child.”

“Hahaha, very funny,” Xanatos replied and then finally sat down in his cha. “I was a teenager already when Qui-Gon got stuck with me. You, however, itty-bitty Oafy-Wan-“

“Boys,” Qui-Gon’s voice rang out. He sounded a little tired, this arguing must happen more often then. Anakin only hoped that Luke and Leia wouldn’t turn out like that. “I apologize Anakin. I fear you get to see all of Obi-Wan’s bad sides today. The of them are not as well behaved as your children.”

Qui-Gon looked up to Leia who was content sitting on his shoulders and smiled. “You are a little princess, aren’t you, Miss Leia?”

“Yeah!” Leia agreed. “And when I grow up, I’m going to be president.”

“I will be a knight,” Luke spoke up. “And I’ll save daddy from all the bad guys.”

Anakin smiled slightly. If he had something to say about it, his son very much would not ever even see one of the ghosts haunting Anakin.

“Don’t worry, I can take care of myself.” Anakin shot Dooku a meaningful look. They could settle this later, but he wouldn’t ruin this evening for Obi-Wan.

“And what is that smell? I would give an arm and a leg for that dish.”

The twins, long used to his jokes, still giggled while Obi-Wan only rolled his eyes, Qui-Gon and Xanatos looked confused and Dooku-

Dooku was pale.

Was it- No. It couldn’t be but-

Well, Perhaps the tyrannical lawyer was feeling a little guilty about Anakin’s predicament.

Oh.

Oh, this could be fun.

[cxptain-rex]

summary: fives looses a bet against the 501st, confess his feelings for the commander. will this task be easy or hard for the arc trooper?

pairings: fives x Jedi!reader

warnings: none cus this is pure fluff, there is a reference to The Capital episode but baby echo is alive. :)

Requests for the clones are open!!!

++++++++

Fives thought this would be easy...but apparently it is not. You see, the infamous Arc Trooper lost a bet against his brothers: Jesse, Hardcase and Kix. The clone trooper has to express his feelings for you, by the end of their shore leave. Fives developed feelings for you since you stepped aboard the Resolute with Anakin. He remembers that encounter as if it were yesterday.

“Men!”

“General Skywalker, Sir”

“At ease”

You stood there, an older padawan, a soon to be knighted Jedi. Eagerness embraces your stance as you looked over the battalion in front of you. They all stood right and forward at their commanding General.

“This is Commander Y/N, she is our new Commander, she is one of us now!” Anakin informed looking at his men, whom underneath their helmet were looking at you with tenderness already. Aside from being young, you seemed very kind and indeed you were.

“Hello” you waved gently at the clones and they were swoowing already.

Fives amongst them was the one who had to hold himself. You were beautiful, an angel even, with your sweet eyes and gentle voice. You approached the clones starting by their Captain and so on until you got to him.

“Arc Trooper Fives, at your services, ma’am”

“Please call me Y/N, Fives” you answered smiling sweetly at him. He swore from that day, Fives was struck in love for you and there was no denying it now.

Fast forward, Fives stood remembering his first encounter to try and express himself for you. It was a mess.

“Umm, can I talk to you, uh commander?” “Yes Fives?”

There you stood beside the holotable going over a datapad Kix had given you to check out. You were beautiful with blue light shining over your features and Fives could not help but feel mesmerized.

Being in trance of your beauty until he snapped out of it. He forgot why he came to speak to you in the first place until Hardcase casually pat him on the back. Smirking as he left the bridge, Fives rolled his eyes and turned back to speak to you noticing you were already gone.

“Well that went...disasterous”

The poor trooper felt hopeless with first try thrown out the window.

He thought he would get it the second time but gosh he was wrong once again.

This time Fives tried to encounter you right when you came out of a heated discussion with Anakin Skywalker. Prancing out of the briefing room and into the hangar, with a glare set on your features.

Fives did not noticed it until he stood right on your way. Stammering over his words once again and being captured by your stare. He could not help it, you looked cute when you seemed a little bit pissed.

“Uh hi”

“What is it Fives?”

“I...uh...”

“Commander Y/N, your assistance is needed on the bridge” Echo said jogging to catch you just in time before you left. Sighting you turned around leaving Fives behind with the words stuck in his mouth.

Hardcase, Jesse and Kix walked right besides Fives patting him on the shoulder. They knew of Fives oblivious crush towards you and they were just trying to help the poor clone out. The four brothers stood in silence until Fives snapped.

“This is impossible!”

“No it’s not! Come on, you have a chance” Hardcase said trying to give his brother encouragement to make the first move. While Jesse nodded along the way but Kix, being the only voice of reason at the moment did not agree 50%.

The third time will be the one, thought Fives as he walked to your quarters stammering over his words. Mentally beating himself up, he should do this easily, come on he is Fives after all. Before he knew it, he stood right in front of your door. Frozen, Fives felt frozen like that time he got frozen in carbonite along with Captain Rex and Echo.

Fives knocked on your door until it opened and there you stood. Beautiful as ever with those Y/C eyes he came to adore since he first saw you aboard the Resolute. Come on, you got this trooper, he thought to himself trying to be brave. Just ask the girl out! He thought as he took a breather and stared at you.

“Hello Fives”

“Hi...uh...can we talk?”

“Oh...I have a briefing in a couple of minutes with General Kenobi and Cody”

Fives sighted, he could not go on again if he did not do this now. You took a step out of your room and began making your way down the corridor.

“Could you stop!?”

You halted on your steps, you’ve never heard Fives raise his voice at you. You turned around looking at him quizzically. Opening your mouth to argue but cut off by the trooper.

“Please I have been trying to talk to you this week, so please hear me out for my sake”

Fives sauntered towards you slowly and you stood there waiting for him to talk. He closed his eyes taking a deep breath before opening them again. You looked at him expectantly, not knowing what he wanted stressed you. After all, he is Fives.

“Since the first time that I saw you aboard this cruiser...”

“...”

“I-I like—“

“Fives?”

“I think of you as more than a friend.”

“Wait, what do you mean, you kinda like me?”

“Yes...wait! I like you! A lot and I’m wondering if you’d like to go on a date...with me”

“Oh Fives...of course!” You threw yourself on the trooper, he stumbled upon the impact but wrapped his arms around you. The embrace lasted long enough for the two of you to savor it.

Around the corner, three known troopers stood with smirks on their faces. “We did it boys!” said Hardcase high-fiving Jesse and Kix too whom was surprised by Fives’ touching words.

++++++++

After that encounter you and Fives became a couple. The 501st celebrated with many laughs and drinks amongst each other. Even two Master Jedis were happy for you, in secret but happy. Fives could not be happier than he was having the girl of his dreams in his arms every day and you could not be happier having his sweet affection and unconditional love.

[secret-engima]

I blame @talisward for this but like-

Before I get way into this, tagging @wolfsrainrules​ and tentatively @north-peach​ because FFXV isn’t your fandom but this is also part Star Wars and who knows you might find it funny.

What if in a Star Wars/FFXV crossover, a ship takes damage to the hyperdrive (pirate attack or unexpected meteor shower something) and the hyperdrive yeets them waaaaayyyyyyyyy into Wild Space and it crashes on the jungle islands of an unknown planet and the crew is killed in the crash.

But the crew weren’t the only ones on board.

The Galahdians of various Clans, for once all united, swarm over the strange thing that fell from the sky very warily, scuffing and chirping at each other (because this is totally an A/B/O verse, maybe even an a/b/o spin-off of Thrown to Wolves verse who knows) and they finally pry open part of it to look inside and- dead bodies. Dead bodies of strange adults and non-human ... beings that still looked vaguely humanoid and didn’t dissolve like daemons. Sprawled over in what was clearly death from the crash. They explore and find no survivors or even anything familiar. The letters on the walls are strange, the technology is strange. Everything is strange.

Then one of them finds a body dressed differently. Rather than strange, unpleasant smelling synthetic fabric, this one is dressed in spun clothes, rough and simple and practical. The body, not human but very humanoid, is curled up near a door, an expression of odd serenity and determination on their face even in death.

It’s one of the Ulrics that notices the area AROUND the body is miraculously untouched. There is destruction and crumpled metal and sparking wires in the hallway leading up to the spot, but the door behind the body and whatever is beyond is undamaged. Protected.

One of the Ostiums sniffs carefully, stiffens as he finally catches a scent other than sparks and foreign metal and strange blood, “There’s something alive on the other side,” he whispers.

An Arra presses her ear against the door for several seconds before growling, “I hear pups.”

And that’s the only incentive they need to start forcing the door open, because pups are sacred, even in a place like this, a metal ship that fell from the night sky and is filled with the dead bodies of human and non-human beings alike.

The door finally gives way with a scream of metal, letting the light spill into the room.

The collection of Jedi Younglings stare at them with wide, frightened eyes, some human, others not, all smelling of sadness and terror and the need for reassurance.

The Galahdians glance at each other meaningfully at the sight of non-human pups, then carefully set about coaxing them all out despite the language barrier, soothing the tears that come at the sight of the dead protector (who must have been protecting the pups with magic, surely) and herding them out into the jungle sunshine. While some of the Clans start working on removing the bodies for as proper a funeral as they can make (they hope star people don’t mind being burned and released to the winds, but it’s all they can do), others start trying to figure out what to DO with the new children. They can’t separate them, but these are a lot of strange children and that will be a lot for any Clan to handle. They settle on giving them to the more famed and long-standing alliances, the Ulric-Ostium and the Lazarus-Furia-Arra because the joint clans will have an easier time raising the kids and figuring out ... well. Non-human biology.

One of the Ulrics meanwhile is carefully distracting the poor scared kiddos by trying to establish some rudimentary communication. She finally coaxes their names out of them and smiles when one of the humans (human-like? If he’s a star person does he really count as human?) in the group, a boy no more than eight if she doesn’t miss her mark, steps forward and shakily bows in greeting and carefully enunciates “Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Some other notes on this AU that I apparently have now: a/b/o is an Astral fiddling thing that happens over time and all the Jedi younglings are young enough that THEY develop it too as they’re raised by Galahd.

Galahd guards their Star Children zealously. Keeps them secret and treasured.

If this is not a Thrown to Wolves a/b/o spin-off, then this is still an AU where “magic” (ie the Force) can be used by almost everyone to some degree or other, just for simpler things than the specialized and extremely powerful magics of the LCs and Oracles because of Bahamut’s Blessing. Other people can still do amazing stuff with their “Magic” but it’s not armiger or Walls or superhealing/purification and it’s not as overwhelmingly powerful as LCs (who are all like- up there with Anakin Skywalker Force-power wise).

The younglings are Obi-Wan’s crechemates, they were on their way back from Illum or something when the hyperdrive yote them to Eos. They quickly figure out they’re on a planet so far away no one knows Galactic Standard and that no one has space travel. Eventually they settle in their new lives.

Everyone picture Feral Galahdian Jedi bbys. It’s like- Feral Mandalorian Jedi bbys but without the helmets and heavy armor XD.

They did end up splitting the creche between the various Clans, but tried to keep at least two kids near each other at all times so that they wouldn’t feel abandoned and organized regular “play dates” for all their Star Children (with the added benefit of the adults getting to share their meltdowns over the weird things their Star Children do and need). Also Ramuh is watching from on high and running damage control, which is why no Galahdian falls over dead from space viruses and no youngling dies in spasms from Eos viruses. He’s also the one to tweak the kiddos to fit into the a/b/o dynamic.

Obi-Wan would like you to believe he’s an Ostium. He is not. He’s an Ulric. Bant is his long-suffering Ostium braincell.

Other members of the creche include: Bruck Chun, who after multiple hard lessons on bullying is actually a pretty decent (if aggressive) bby Furia. Quinlan Vos because I find him fun (or, in this AU, Quinlan Ulric), and a couple OCs because I can’t remember who all else is in Obi-Wan’s age group/creche. There’s a Togruta in there somewhere because Togruta are cool.

Meanwhile in the Galaxy at large the Jedi are searching for their lost ship of younglings with more than a little alarm, but they don’t find them. While wandering for clues even years later, one Qui-Gon Jinn stumbles across a slave woman and her year old bby on Tattooine. The bby is extremely freaking Force sensitive so he Qui-Gon Jinn’s his way into buying both of their freedoms and taking them to Coruscant to introduce the woman to the Jedi so she can decide if she wants her bby in the Jedi or not. The woman is Shmi, the bby is Anakin.

Obi-Wan uses the schematics found on the ship (it was a ship for building lightsabers and stuff like in that one Clone Wars episode), his own instincts, and bits of the Elemency crystals/meteor shards lying around to “re-invent” the lightsaber. All the Galahdians are enamored and immediately figure out how to make their own.

Niflheim was Not Prepared to tackle a jungle full of Feral Galahdians with Laser Swords. Galahd does no fall and the Kingsglaive are still formed but not out of refugees. Instead Regis approaches them hoping to form an elite force of laser sword wielding jungle maniacs warriors. The Galahdians agree after some haggling for extra autonomy/privacy to hide their Star Children.

I feel like Obi-Wan joins the Kingsglaive. Just- because OBI-WAN. He’s curious and interested and he doesn’t particularly like war but he has that very strong Protecc instinct and people appreciate his diplomacy.

Years and years later, when the Star Children are teens/young adults, either they figure out how to repair their old ship or somehow another Republic ship finds Eos and all the Jedi proceed to collectively lose their minds over finding their Feral Galahdian former-Jedi younglings and their culture of laser-sword wielding jungle Packs.

Also the secondary genders is NOT a thing outside Eos so all the Jedi are ALSO freaking out over that and trying to figure out how their younglings have it (BECAUSE IT’S A THING. THERE ARE HORMONES AND VOCALIZATIONS AND STUFF THAT NORMAL HUMANS/MON CALAMARI/ETC CAN’T PULL OFF). It ... it never occurs to the Jedi that the Astrals did it because no matter how many times the Galahdians say it’s an Astral-granted thing, no one believes them because everyone “knows” that must be their primitive mythology and culture. There is no such thing as beings who can materialize out of thin air and are made of pure Force. Pssh.

Ramuh the Troll, Bahamut the Drama Queen, every other Astral who is professionally insulted that their existence is brushed off by the idiots who should know better: Behold, we shall ruin these arrogant space monks’ entire careers.

Also Palpatine tries something funny near the Galahdians and is murdered discreetly via an Arra because they can SMELL the madness and near daemon-like corruption on him kthanks.

Also also all the Galahdians take one (1) look at Anakin and go BBY SPACE ULRIC and promptly adopt Shmi and Anakin both while the Space Monks look on and sputter in confusion.

[sirloozelite]

SirLoozElite’s Star Wars Hunger Games: S2E13-The Final Six (Season 2 Finale)

Ok, first things first, I very nearly didn’t post this today. Why? Well, put simply, I hate this date. Bonfire night pisses me off because of the fireworks. I could rant about it, and part of me wants to... but I won’t. Just remember that if you are attending someones bonfire night there is a good chance that someone else nearby is spending the night looking after their terrified pet instead. That’s all I will say.

Anyway, on with the finale. So, last time we got down to the final six contestants. Today we will find out who wins. Those that placed desperate last bets, let’s see if your luck holds. XD

This night can be summed up in one snippet.

Nearly lost Bodhi there. Good thing Malak was feeling generous.

Next day dawns. How is everyone doing?

Looks like the Inquisitor is fed with with his future master already. XD

Oops! Bad way to go... and rather embarrassing too. R.I.P Darth Malak. Five to go.

Oh no! Bodhi too? Did he fall down the same pit? R.I.P Bodhi Rook. Four left! Damn @rangerslayer-97​, no bragging rights of any kind for you today. Sorry pal.

Night once again, and one snippet details it all.

Sabine has clearly lost it! As is Anakin by the sounds of it. Luminara meanwhile is taking a huge risk.

Day again? When will it end?

Teamwork this late into the game? What is going on?

Could be a pretty useful skill to have. Bit late to train though.

Holy crap! Custom event alert! Looks like the game master herself has entered the field and murdered poor Luminara! R.I.P Luminara Unduli. Only three left now!

Night 18, and only three left. What will happen?

Well that’s pretty boring if you ask me. Hopefully the next few days and nights are eventful.

Or maybe not!

.... Seriously?

That was mean Sabine. (hey look, that rhymes! XD)

Sabine is snuggling with Anakin now! She sure gets around!

Oh and there we go! Sabine has been an idiot and eaten some poison. R.I.P Sabine Wren. Only two left. Sorry @swgoji2001​, looks like you lost super bonus bragging rights. At least you took the standard victory though right?

And so here we are. The final two contestants. Will the victory belong to Anakin Skywalker or the Tenth Brother?

Let’s find out!

Ha! How does it feel Anakin! How does it feel! R.I.P Anakin Skywalker. Sorry @eru-kat​, you were so close to super bonus bragging rights. Alas, not this time I’m afraid.

And with that, 47 victims are dead, leaving only the winner. Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner is...

Arguably the worst of the Inquisitors in canon, since he died first and all, has managed to come from behind and secure a victory. I gotta say, I’m pretty proud of this guy right here. I didn’t expect him to win of all people, but he played his game well.

And now let’s look at some final statistics.

Well then, that was certainly and interesting season two. Thanks to everyone that placed bets, as well a those that didn’t but followed along for fun. This was a hilarious ride once again, and you can rest assured that I will be doing a season three at some point. I might change up the rules for it a bit though. Hope you all enjoyed it, and congratulations once again to @swgoji2001​ for having the longest surviving champion with Darth Traya/Kreia. You chose wisely once again my friend.

Till next time people. XD

[dontcallmecarrie]

I am being (fandom/shipping) nosy, & you're in full rights to shut me down.... Question(s): Do you have any OTP's/ preferred pairings, for any and/all fandoms you're in? On the other hand, are you more the type to be focused on a topic and stuff romance in a basement? (I'd be a hypocrite to judge.) Or are you a mix of both depending on whatever? Not intending to start anything. Best wishes to you! Hope you are well!

For your first question: yes and no.

I don’t have OTPs in the sense of ‘I only ship these two characters together, and don’t ship them with anyone else’. The way I ship is ‘I think these two have good chemistry in this AU and have a lot of fun exploring that dynamic’, which is how I have several AUs with Steve/Tony [The Inception-y Fic I Refuse To Write Right Now, Whisper of Every Waking Hour, plus a few shatterpoints], Stephen/Tony [By Myself But Not Alone’s sure leaning that way, at least], and the list goes on. 

but really at the end of the day, it can be summed up as Tony/Happiness because the MCU really put him through the wringer and I am forever bitter about it

…well, with one exception: I only ship Howard Stark with Maria Carbonell, but that’s mostly because I have

way

too much fun messing around with a blank slate of a character. 

Outside of the MCU, I’ve got a few ships I have a preference for— but you’ll see a few trends.

Apart from Blurred Lines, I haven’t really delved into writing for Doctor Who. Partly because I am nowhere near caught up, and partly because my favorite character is Martha Jones and that…kinda speaks for itself, really. I’m not a fan of Martha Jones/Mickey Smith, though, because seeing Martha once again get left with Rose’s ex kinda left a bad taste in my mouth. [An entire universe’s array of characters to choose from, engaged with someone who legit died trying to protect her in another timeline, and she gets paired off with Rose’s ex-boyfriend? Really? Where the hell did that even come from?!] 

Suffice it is to say, I ship Martha Jones/Happiness as well. 

It’s why I’ve been struggling to keep spinoff AUs from forming for Blurred Lines, because Martha/Sherlock and Martha/Tom Milligan are both very appealing options [Tom’d accidentally fill in part of Mary Morstan’s role even as I ignore the rest of season three onwards. It’d be great]. Not to mention the idea of a queerplatonic OT3 where Sherlock and Moriarty [a saner one than in canon, at least] give Martha grey hair and everyone else migraines. Or, in an even crackier AU, Martha Jones/Sebastian Moran, feat. a lot of exasperated looks and explosions with surprisingly little collateral damage [no one wants to piss off or disappoint Martha. No one] and Sherlock and Moriarty’s horror at the unholy alliance that is Martha’s and Anthea’s friendship. 

…anyway. Onto the next fandom!

I’ve only written for the sequel trilogy of Star Wars, so I’ll lead with that. Finn/Poe Dameron is not a hard OTP for me, but getting there because their dynamic was something I loved from the first time I saw it in the cinema. I will say that I have a hard NOTP for this fandom, though: while I am a huge fan of ship and let ship [fandom old, here. If I don’t like it, time to hit the back button and find something I enjoy reading rather than leave hate in some poor author’s inbox], I think the apocalypse will roll around before I write Rey and Kylo Ren romantically.

In the Darth Calamity AU, Ben’s going to be a big brother/mentor figure for her as well as Finn. They’re going to be close, don’t get me wrong— but…um. I highly doubt it’ll ever come up, but in my AU at least, Ben’s going to kinda take after his family, as far as romance goes. His type is, much like Han Solo’s and Anakin’s “she takes no shit, hates fascism, and is damn good with a blaster”. Specifically, Ben’s first meeting with Rose Tico involves a broken nose during a bar fight swarming with First Order supporters, and it’s going to be love at first right hook. 

Beyond that…I cannot count how many fandoms I’ve lurked in. Or lurked and left an anonymous comment for [I was rather shy when I was younger]. To sum up: if it’s well-written, odds are I’ll enjoy it. If I were to list ships, I’d have a pool noodle armada. 

.

As for the latter part of your ask…it depends. Mostly on how well-written it is, how natural said relationship feels, but there’s other stuff at play too. Some writers can pull off romance and a chaotic plot, and more power to them for being able to manage it. 

Me being a bit of a perfectionist [aka why the next chapter of TWiFFON is still in the air, despite my graduation date now being a month away], I have very high standards for myself when it comes to writing. Add to that my being ace with a 99% likelihood of being aro, and I’m hyper paranoid about writing non-platonic relationships come across. [I use romcoms to get an idea, and play by ear. Hopefully it doesn’t feel forced or clunky. *fingers crossed*]

For me, I hate how repetitive this sounds, but it really, really depends. TWiFFON has no pairings beyond some ‘squint and huh, was I low-key shipping Happy and Pepper when I wrote this section or not?’ moments. Then again, TWiFFON is a passive-aggressive spitefic and the frame of mind I’m in when I write for it isn’t exactly conductive to shipping.

Sometimes, I’ll be writing and the ship just kinda…appears. 

Exhibit A: when I started hammering out By Myself But Not Alone, I was actually leaning towards Steve/Tony before I continued writing for it and just went ‘huh I guess this AU’s Stephen/Tony now’. 

[eirenare]

I’ve just read the new “The Rise of Kylo Ren” interview with Charles Soule (the writer) and Will Sliney (the artist) and thought I’d do a post about it because there’s some very interesting stuff

And also I may or may not be absolutely amused at some descriptions for the former leader of the Knights of Ren

[More under the “read more” because of spoilers of TROKR, and because of speculation/theorizing of TROS.]

“They call him Ren, but that wasn’t always his name.

“Born out of the flames,” as artist Will Sliney puts it, the leader of the Knights of Ren in the opening pages of the new comic Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren #1, arrives battle-scarred and wearing a fearsome, featureless mask — a blank expression save for a smattering of claw-like gouges. Concealed within is a charismatic leader, the exact type of person who would be able to seduce young Ben Solo away from the path of the Jedi.”

They’re going to talk about “The Rise of Kylo Ren”—they spent the first paragraphs mostly talking about Ren

And... *arching eyebrows at the first phrases* So... “They call him Ren, but that wasn’t always his name”, and “born out of the blames”, and “fearsome, featureless mask”... Yeah, this totally does nothing to stop me from thinking Ren’s gonna be future/alternative Ben

Alexa, play “Dark Horse” *looking sideways at Dark Rey and Ren*

“I wanted him to read like a charming Darth Vader,” says writer Charles Soule. “A Vader who is charismatic and who is appealing. That’s why [Ren’s] skin is burned and he sort of looks the way that he does. He’s embracing the seductiveness and the damage that the dark side does. Darth Vader, as impressive and imposing and terrifying as he is, is remote and cold and distant because he has the suit surrounding him. Whereas Ren isn’t hiding behind it. He’s someone you could have a beer with, in theory.”

Oh, so are we going parallel territory with the Darth Vader, like previously with Ben and Anakin? Interesting... *munches popcorn* Also lol at having a beer with him

“Designed purposefully for the new comic series, with issue #1 out now, Ren feeds the evolution of Kylo Ren. “The entire seductiveness of the dark side poured into one character engineered for Ben Solo is Ren,” Soule says. “He’s sort of a charming evil rascal that can be really fun to write and I really like where he goes in the series. But if Kylo Ren is going to take over the Knights of Ren, which we know that’s what happens, there should be some transition.”

I didn’t think I’d see Mr. Hottie McHotHot aka Ren defined like a “sort of a charming evil rascal”, but yeah, that’s kriffing funny and awesome and I can’t wait to see what happens in January

But now... now comes the super juicy bits...

“The creative team engineered some surprises for this charming dark sider, a foil in many ways to Darth Vader hiding beneath his protective covering. “You expect the dude hiding his face under a mask like that to be all messed up, particularly with his body looking the way it does,” Soule says. But in issue #2 we’ll see what he’s truly concealing, a reveal that speaks to Ben on a whole other level.”

Why does this sound familiar? ... Ah, yes, because it’s kind of the way they described Ben‘s unmasking in TFA, the whole “you expect a monster but you got this young tortured prince”. Sounds like that a lot. Also, the fact that what he’s hiding under the mask seems it will be a huge reveal to Ben and that they’ve “engineered some surprises for this charming dark sider”? Not to mention that, again, we have a comparison with Darth Vader

Yep, this definitely does nothing to keep me from going on with my Ren/Ben theory

“I think the key to writing Ben Solo is to write him as a lost teenager who is deeply in touch with emotions that teenagers often feel,” Soule says. “He feels like no one understands him, no one sees him the way he actually is, he’s utterly alone and there’s no one else out there in the universe. So when he sees Ren, he’s like, ‘Wait a minute — maybe there is somebody like me in the universe. Maybe there is a path for a guy like me. Look at the choices he’s made. I could make those choices, too, and I could be cool.’”

Okay, so, who the kriff is cutting onions in the room? *Ben feels intensify*

Also there might or might not be a certain Disney song going on my head right now reading this lol

“The story also calls for the re-introduction of a younger, seemingly kinder Snoke, wearing a little cap, no less. When we meet him in the series, the future Supreme Leader of the First Order is essentially a gardener. “When we were in the design process, Snoke is someone that you know is going to defy expectations and it’s not going to be the Snoke that you know,” Sliney says. “And it’s important because we’re going to see a very, very different relationship that Snoke and Ben have. It establishes that this is not the Snoke that’s going to Force-choke Hux and slam him into the ground. He’s playing the long game…so it was important to portray Snoke differently.

And true to his festering nature, Snoke inhabits a place that on the surface seems serene and beautiful, but is rotten at its core, a script note that spurred Sliney to google “rotting fruit” for artistic inspiration.”

Snoke is a scary predator. Whatever he is, whatever it’s his relationship with Palpatine, that’s the thing—they’re both scary predators, and I can’t even begin to imagine all the shit fed to poor Ben’s head

Also, about that world... Another thought that came to me (besides Mortis stuff) is that maybe it could be the deserted/stormy place we see in the TROS trailers, like the planet finally rotten inside and outside, kind of as a reflection as to how appearences have fallen apart and all that’s left to show is the rotting

“Like Sheev Palpatine, the once humble senator of Naboo, “Snoke is someone who knows the playbook,” Soule says. “It’s a similar play in terms of, ‘I’m a nice guy who’s just trying to help you,’ which is kind of what Palpatine did. But Snoke’s path to power, Snoke’s seduction technique, Snoke’s message and teachings are, I think, pretty different from the way Palpatine did it…. His job is not so much to corrupt as it’s to represent an alternative to the legacy [Ben has] been presented.” In concert with Ren presenting an alternate path, Snoke’s suggestive philosophy is appealing to a young boy who feels lost. “Everyone’s telling you you’re X, but what if you’re Y? What feels correct to you? Are you Obi-Wan Kenobi or maybe you’re something else?” Soule says. “All you need to be is whoever you are and no one’s letting you do that…and maybe, shouldn’t you go someplace where you can be who you are?”

Now that’s a specially terrifying way of predating—you may be able to get away from all the people you love, detach from them so as to protect them and protect your heart, but you can’t run away from yourself and your thoughts and feelings, and that’s what Snoke targets with Ben

“To bring these characters alive on the page, Sliney pulled reference material from Celtic myths and poured over books featuring the art of Star Wars. “I don’t think I’ve ever studied as much as I have,” he says. “Everything Star Wars. I have all those art books, whether it’s the modern ones or the ones from the original movies or the prequels. I love the art…I think it’s important to pay respects to the amazing concept art that have made these movies along the way.”

Those artists, of course, famously took their inspiration from earlier works, so Sliney went back even further. “I’m going backwards as much as I can in terms of the feel of it,” he says. “It needed to feel epic and it needed to feel powerful. It’s bringing it back to that mythological kind of feeling. I have a big influence from a lot of old ancient Celtic stories that date back thousands and thousands of years. These stories of lone warriors who died on the hill…. Those ancient books, they carry that gravitas.”

That’s interesting. Maybe the big “dead” tree around the machinery comes from Celtic mythology? After taking a look at some info, I’d say this screams “tree of life” to me, which would pretty much fit like a glove with the Force and the balance because it represents harmony and all that. Also, if you want to know something funny, according to this webpage (Irish Around the World), “trees were a connection to the world of the spirits and the ancestors, living entities, and doorways into other worlds”, it says, among other things

And, to finish:

“Meanwhile, Soule pulled much of his writing inspiration from the Skywalker saga itself, save for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, which was still in production at the time. Soule went back and studied the first time we see Kylo Ren on screen, wondering to himself about the implication that Ben Solo had met Lor San Tekka in their younger days. “There’s a lot of data hidden between the subtext and text,” Soule says. “It’s about doing the research on that level just to see what connections might be made, but it’s also the feel of it.”

After all, Ben Solo’s bloodline makes him Star Wars royalty. “This is a story about legacy,” he says. “It’s a story about family and expectations and the fact that Ben Solo is part of a vast network of galaxy-changing individuals from his mom and his dad, to his uncle, to his adopted uncle, Lando, to his namesake Ben Kenobi, to his grandfather, Darth Vader…Within one step of him are arguably some of the most important people in the galaxy. So his story is their story and you can’t tell Ben Solo’s story without knowing all the other ones backwards and forwards.”

Interesting, about the writing inspiration... I’m really curious to see how it’ll fit with TROS

Can’t wait to see TROS tomorrow, both because of the movie itself and to start thinking where TROKR may land because, hey... we’re still 3 issues away from the comic to end, 3 months

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: The Last Jedi review

It has been a year since I first saw this, and it has given me plenty of time to sort out my thoughts on it. This film was very divisive in my mind, as it has been to filmgoers at large; no two people seem to have the same take on it. Alex of IHE liked it and thought it got better with each viewing; Schaffrillas Productions thinks the movie is really stupid and fails at what it set out to do; and Doug Walker, AKA the Nostalgia Critic, is somewhere in the middle, saying it has some of the best Star Wars has to offer as well as some of the worst. And that isn’t even getting into fan response, with the ever-hyperbolic Star Wars fandom screaming for ages about how this is an utter travesty of filmmaking, and how the whole movie should be retconned, and so on.

Frankly, such hyperbole should just be dismissed entirely out of hand. If you honestly think this film is the worst Star Wars film, or even an objectively bad film in general, you either have lived a very sheltered life or do not know a thing about films or filmmaking. Now, does that mean I think this is a GOOD film? Well… no. I think I most agree with Doug Walker on this; the film has a lot of great stuff, a lot of stuff done better than every other Star Wars movie; but for every great thing, there is an unbelievably awful thing too, balancing out the movie into being a literal divisive work, with half the film being a great Star Wars entry and the other half being a stream of idiocy, fluff, and filler. And the most baffling part is it isn’t even hard to tell which parts are good and which aren’t the awful parts stick out uncomfortably. Say what you will about something like Jar Jar, he at least seemed somewhat plausible within the universe of Star Wars. But the casino on Canto Bright, and the weird space horses? It just feels too weird, too whimsical, too Harry Potter-esque for Star Wars.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. As far as story goes, we have this: Rey is off trying to convince the cranky hermit Luke Skywalker to train her, though this is easier said than done, as Luke seems rather content with milking alien walruses and just in general being a hermit to want to help her out. Meanwhile, the rebels are being chased down by the First Order, with Poe desperately trying to take command of the situation and his commanding officer not having any of it, which leads Poe to send Finn on a mission to find a way to sabotage the ships. This leads to Canto Bright as they search for a skilled hacker. Meanwhile, Rey is finding out she has a very interesting connection to Kylo Ren. There’s a lot going on this time in the galaxy far, far away, and it becomes unclear if things will come out on top for the rebels this time around.

So, let’s talk about what works first. The movie’s greatest strength is certainly the cinematography; this is hands down, indisputably, the best-looking Star Wars film to day. There are so many gorgeous, beautiful shots, so many scenes made better by the fantastic camera work. The presentation in this film is just top notch, and so much in this film is just a treat for the eyes. And the beauty isn’t just the shots, the actual lightsaber duels we get are easily some of the finest in the history of the franchise, with Rey and Kylo’s fight against the Praetorian Guards, as well as the final duel between Kylo and Luke on the salt field, moments like this deserve to be held up among the best in all of Star Wars history.

Then we have basically everything involving Luke, Rey, and Kylo Ren in this movie. The scenes revolving around these characters are the most engaging and interesting in the entire film. Luke especially is a fascinating character, Mark Hamill giving his all to the performance and showcasing the natural progression from a well-meaning but hotheaded young hero to a jaded, cynical hermit who has, like his master before him, put himself into self-imposed exile due to his failures. Rey and Kylo have an intriguing dynamic, and they get so much focus and development. A lot of the film focuses on Kylo, giving much-needed development, though unfortunately it does jettison a lot of what made him interesting in the precious film. Gone are his tantrums, struggle with the light side of the Force, and emulation of his grandfather… but in comes a performance from Adam Driver that I felt at some points emulated Javier Bardem’s from No Country for Old Men. Yes, Kylo Ren managed to be as terrifying and ruthless as Anton Chigurh.

But of course, there are a great deal of problems, namely anything in he film that doesn’t focus around the three aforementioned characters. Outside of the opening space battle, just about everything with the rebels is a tedious slog of a chase scene, with the First Order apparently never once considering speeding up a little bit to catch up with the rebel ships slowly running out of gas. Despite what some very sad, strange people on the internet might convince you, there’s no overtly political messaging in the dynamic between Poe and Holdo; the only thing there is just really poor writing, where two characters who should be smarter act ridiculously stupid for poorly defined reasons. It’s pretty telling when Leia, probably the only person in the rebellion with a cool head on her shoulders, gets taken out of commission for a large chunk of the film early on.

The film also wastes a lot of characters that were built up to be more important than they ended up being. Phasma is unceremoniously killed (or maybe not) after an extremely brief battle, to the point where reading this sentence will probably take more time than her appearance onscreen in this film. The hacker that Finn and his new partner rose find on Canto Bright, portrayed by Benicio Del Toro, seems like he might end up an interesting morally ambiguous figure, and up until his final appearance he offers some interesting characterization, but then he stabs Finn and Rose in the back and vanishes from the film. Still, neither of the previous examples are anything compared to what happened to Snoke, the mysterious evil emperor figure who corrupted Ben Solo into becoming Kylo Ren. Some have said they didn’t find Snoke interesting to begin with, and that his death wasn’t too bad of a move, but on the same token there is so little revealed about him despite the fact that he is integral to a major character’s backstory that he ends up feeling like a missed opportunity. The fact that he is played by Andy Serkis only compounds my irritation; why get such a fantastic actor to play a wasted character like this? I have much the same feeling towards the disrespectful usage of Max Von Sydow in The Force Awakens; pointlessly tossing great actors into minor, throwaway roles is utterly depressing when you think of what their talents could have added to the story.

But of course, I have saved the worst for last: Rose Tico and Canto Bright. He two go hand in hand, as Canto Bright is where Rose gets much of her screentime and development with Finn. Canto Bright is a very odd locale, featuring a shiny casino and weird alien horses. The whole tone of the place is far too whimsical and jarring for the film it’s in, and it ends up badly clashing with the other scenes. It also ends up hogging a lot of screentime from the far more interesting and intriguing plot with Rey and Luke. The biggest issue, though, is how pointless the entire venture ends up being, as after all they go through, they end up failing miserably, which leads to a lot of the issues in the film’s final third. The whole thing ends up just being a pointless diversion from the more interesting plot and comes off as a way to pad out the runtime with hamfisted morals and glurge.

And then we have Rose, who, in this film anyway, is probably the least likable character in any Star Wars film. She is utterly bland and uninteresting as a character, which is a shame as her sister, a character with limited screentime who only appears in the opening before dying, was far more interesting in the few minutes she was onscreen than Rose is in her entirety. The biggest problem with Rose is that she almost feels like a fan insert character, with how she gushes over Finn at first and gets to kiss him at the end despite the two having rather mediocre chemistry. Said kiss also comes after a moment where she ruins a moment that could have been an excellent culmination of Finn’s character arc and been a hugely subversive and expectation-defying moment, and then utters the most vomit-inducingly bad line in Star Wars history: "That's how we're gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, but saving what we love." Nothing about this line works, makes sense, or does anything but make the viewer cringe hard. This is worse than Anakin’s comments about sand, worse than anything in the prequels really, and I don’t think this is hyperbolic in the slightest, since we have had over a decade and a lack of George Lucas involvement to fine-tune scripts and not deliver lines that sound like they belong in a Hallmark special.

Overall, the film absolutely fails to do what it sets out to do: deliver a subversive film that defies audience expectations. Nothing in the film really subverts or plays with audience expectations in a positive way; all of the big subversions come from characters acting as insanely stupid as possible, and they all come from a dull plotline that hogs the screentime from the far more intriguing plotline. The Rey/Luke/Kylo stuff in this movie is easily some of the best and most engaging Star Wars content to date, but it gets shoved aside far too often, and a lot of elements of it seem to be left hanging. Built up elements like Rey’s parents, Snoke, and Phasma are unceremoniously dropped in frankly insulting ways, and at the end of the movie everyone is basically at the spot they were at at the end of the first one.

And that, right there, is my true issue with the film: it all feels very pointless. The heroes accomplish next to nothing, and the overall effects on the franchise are utterly minor. This is a Star Wars film I could almost say you could skip when viewing them for how little it adds… but what little it does add is really good and essential. This is definitely a movie that home viewing will make better, since at home you can skip through the awful Canto Bright and rebel chase sequences to get to the good stuff. The lightspeed ram, the Praetorian duel, Luke and Kylo’s confrontation… all of that stuff is worth seeing.

Ultimately, the film is neither really good nor bad. It’s just a mixed bag that is not nearly as subversive or expectation-defying as a contemporary blockbuster film like Infinity War or even an older film like The Empire Strikes Back. What it does succeed at is delivering a visually stunning film with excellent character dynamics between the three big players. So, it is easy to see why the film is divisive, but it is impossible to see why people could possibly write the film off as the “Worst ever” or “a film so bad it should be retconned.” If you honestly believe this film is so utterly, irredeemably awful, I frankly don’t think your opinions on film are worth much. If you think the film isn’t so good but at least can find a few things to respect in it, well, I find that a far more respectable position than the blind, frothing-at-the-mouth hatred the film has gotten. It really doesn’t deserve it, though it also doesn’t deserve to be held up as the gold standard of Star Wars films either. It does contain some of the worst moments, if not exactly the absolute worst, in the history of the franchise, after all. But on the same token, it contains some of the absolute best, top ten or twenty best moments of the franchise as well. To write the film off or to praise it blindly as a masterpiece are equally foolhardy decisions.

The way this film wraps up leaves me wondering what could possibly be done for the next film; I have no idea where the series could possibly go, and it fills me with a sense of worry and of suspense. The future of Star Wars is uncertain, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned after being a lifelong fan of the franchise, it’s that Star Wars always finds a way to come out on top eventually.

[fromthedeskoftheminister]

Kaminoans are awful scientists and have horrible business sense, pass it on

Alternatively - It is possible for phenotypically and genetically female clones to have existed because Jango Fett was human and human DNA is weird enough already, the existence of the Force notwithstanding.

This is a rant about how the Kaminoans are horrible scientists, have really bad business sense, horrible ethics in general and a series of head canons about mutations in the clones.

I would like to preface this by saying that everything I know of the Kaminoans comes from both wookieepedia pages, and the rest of this is based on what I know of real world genetics, how science is actually done (trust me I’m a scientist), and a vague understanding of the Force

Known things about the Kaminoans

They’re cloners but before that they’re scientists

They have a caste system

They’re amoral scientists

They're xenophobic to the point of racism

They apparently have no issue with slavery as they clone slaves for spice mines occasionally

They're perfectionists

Before Jedi inspection (or whatever the hell you want to call Obi Wan rediscovering the facility) they culled most of the clones that did not meet standards (whatever the hell those were)

They had a fully mapped genome from Jango Fett, which means that no mutations should have occurred

They somehow managed to fix the issue of telomeres 

What This means

Ok, so I don’t actually know how much the internet knows about science but I'm going to assume nothing as I explain things.

So, as the cloning tubes were initially set up for a lot of different species’ requirements. Per the Republic order for the GAR those all had to be converted, reconfigured and cleaned from their initial species’ designation to human. The quickest way to get something of that size to happen is to get a lot of help, which in the Kaminoans case meant that it was probably reassigned to one of the lower castes. The Kaminoans also needed to have much larger quantities of whatever their substitute for amniotic fluid was. This was also something that was probably delegated to a different caste because mass producing amniotic fluid was probably not high on a scientists to do list.

Good science means that you have trials and replication. This is to ensure that any weird instances in the data are truly random occurrences and not part of a larger pattern.  Yes, you can technically argue that every clone was a replication and that every batch produced was a different trial, but that is not actually the case. The replicant thing sure, but for trials to be counted as separate trials, something in it or about it needs to be changed. The Kaminoans didn't do this. After experimenting with the Nulls and the Alpha ARC commandos they went straight into producing the rest of the CT series. Hell, they didn't even try for more than 2 trials when they were experimenting with what would make the perfect combination of genetics to create their super soldiers. That is not a good idea when faffing about with DNA, as human DNA likes to mutate. It does this randomly, and that’s normal, as most mutations are either corrected naturally or simply don’t change anything and thus are not problems.

Good science also has clear communication. The Kaminoans did not quite have that. There are two instances of this. The first is in their directive. The Kamonians had a simple directive of “Make an army of one man”. No one knows how this was determined. Was it just based on genetics? Or did the genetics not quite matter provided they all looked the same? Just because something is phenotypically (looks) the same does not mean that its genetically the same. Look into the insect (butterflies have great examples) and animal kingdoms (Dolly Varden and Bull trout are completely identical unless you look at DNA) for examples of this. Look at twins if you need an example in humanity. Twins can look exactly the same and be very different people. Twins can also look vastly different and effectively be the same person to the point of creepiness. The second instance of poor communication comes from the clones’ designations. When doing science, labels are important. They tend to designate several things from the trial number, the trial type, the actual sample number and occasionally the date depending on the experiment. For the clones this means that their designation should reflect the type of clone, their batch number and then their number within their batch. While this is done to some extent, as seen as the differences in the numbers of the ARCs, the CC clones and the CT clones it is not consistent and does not actually tell us anything about the clones nor the order they were decanted.

Good science also means that you don’t discard data. Outliers are noted and included in the final presentation of the data. They are included in a results section. More often than not the anomalies are not discussed unless the scientists potentially have an explanation for said anomaly. But my point is that they are still there and not swept under the rug. Instead they are studied. More often than not, an anomaly in the data is the lead for someone else’s project. In other words if you're basing your standards off of a genetic match, then anomalies would have been allowed to grow to completion as they were interesting but irrelevant. It also might have allowed the Kaminoans to identify any potential harmful mutations that could possibly appear in normal clones. Instead the Kaminoans chose to cull (kill) them because they didn't fit their standards.

The Kaminoans also have horrible horrible business sense. Do you know how much money it takes to clone a person? Its a lot of money. Right now, IRL it takes about $20,000 USD to clone a cow. In June of 2001 Forbes estimated that it would cost about $1.7 million USD to clone a person. Adjusting for inflation that would be over $2.3 million USD today. I know that we’re dealing with a fictional universe here but can you tell me that you think cloning would have gotten any less expensive over time? If thats how an entire species supports itself the answer is probably not. And so what do they do with defective clones? Canonically the Kaminoans kill them. Which makes no sense given how much money it theoretically takes to produce a clone. Even if the Kaminoans are only being payed for every “perfect” clone they produce, having a “defective” clone is still a waste of resources on their part. They could have simply trained the clones in administrative or maintenance work as they did once the Jedi “found” Kamino again. Hell, slavery is already a problem in the Star Wars verse, and the Kaminoans already cloned slaves, so for them selling defective clones would be a reasonable way to recoup some of their financial losses. 

What does this have to do with mutations in the clones and the ideas of genetically and phenotypically female clones? 

Everything. It was a well known fact among the cloners of the galaxy that cloning Force Sensitive beings was a bad idea. This was due to the fact that those particular type of clones ended up being highly unstable. Kaminoan society also disliked the idea of Force Sensitives. Their distaste was so severe that the one historically recorded member who was Force Sensitive was made outcast once she started displaying her Sensitivity despite her high caste birth. The Kaminoans also regularly killed off green eyed offspring due to the fear that they posed a threat to their well ordered society which suggests that green eyed Kaminoans may have been naturally Force Sensitive. This also means that they had no real idea of how the Force would have effected the cloning processes. The Jedi confirm that all of the clones were individuals within the Force. The Force also has a habit of messing with physical/genetic things (see Anakin’s entire existence), so it stands to reason that the Force caused some measure of mutation in the clones. 

Theres also the problem of human DNA being weird. As I mentioned earlier human DNA likes to mutate and mutate a lot. Most of the mutations are benign and are corrected by ones own DNA. Others simply don’t change anything and thus do not show up in physical characteristics at all. Which means a clone may not look like a mutant if the Kaminoans are just judging based on appearance, but is definitely a mutant based on genetics. Some physical traits in humans are controlled by multiple genes and we still dont quite know how to change them from one thing to another. This includes things like height, hair color, eye color, body type and numerous other traits. Depending on what standards the Kaminoans were attempting to meet, any of these benign mutations could have been enough to make the Kaminoans call them defective. 

Some other mutations are not quite so simple. There are random mutations at different stages that can cause mirrored organs or others that affect the sex chromosomes. Depending on when in development these mutations occur, you can occasionally end up with genetically male but phenotypically female clones through things like Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome or Swyer Syndrome, or even genetically and phenotypically female clones through Turner syndrome or identical twins where one has Turner syndrome (effectively creating different sex identical twins).

Initially, the mutations were probably attributed to screw ups due with the mechanical systems as most of the scientist kamonians would have considered that work beneath them and reassigned it to one of the other castes.  Alternatively this would have also been attributed to mistakes made in the amniotic fluid. As mentioned earlier mass producing amniotic fluid could have been easily handled by another caste. Just hand them a recipe and hope that they do not screw up. Either way, the Scientist Kaminoans would have declared themselves to not be at fault because their science is perfect. Which its really really not. Either way once the Kaminoans realized that the mutations were not actually random and that there might have been a pattern, occasional “defective” clones were probably allowed to survive provided that they managed to meet the Cuy’vul Dar’s military standards, and remained available for further study upon reaching “adulthood”.

In conclusion the Kaminoans practiced horrible science, had really bad business sense and there were probably phenotypically female clones, if not phenotypically and genetically female clones, running around with the trans female clones and the rest of the vode during the Clone Wars.