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zodiacrant · 3 years

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🍉Astro Observations🍉

Hello everyone! Hope you’re doing great and feeling positive. I decided to write observations because I got a lot to do and I need a distraction 😅✌️. So, without further a-due here are my observations

(These may or may not apply to you, please keep an open mind and take it as entertainment rather than life changing facts. Please credit me if you’re going to use my work, or ask me beforehand.)

🍉People with Earth Mars or/and an Earth sign in the 1st or 6th house have very healthy and strong bodies

🍉Even though Pisces, Neptune and the 12th house is associated alot with dreams, Scorpio, Mars, Pluto and the 8th house can tell us about our nightmares and the theme of our dreams. (EX. I have a Scorpio Mars in the 9th house Sagittarius, which Chiron resides in as well, empty Virgo 8th house, Pluto in 10th house Scorpio, which Lilith also resides in Scorpio. Because of the high concentration of Scorpio and Virgo residing in the 8th my dreams have always been very vivd, chronological, and all in all a world of it self that I developed since childhood, as far as I can remember. I rarely get awakened by nightmares as well. Because of Mars in the 9th house alot in dreams I am either looking for something or on a journey to some place.)

🍉The houses where we have Taurus and Libra is what we’re envied for, while those ruled by Scorpio and Aries is what we envy in others and desire to be.

🍉The aspects Between Jupiter and other planets can tell us how friendly, open, stiff, fun loving, uptight and mean we’re. The more Squares the meaner a person may be, the more opposites with Jupiter would make the person paradoxical or “fake”. While Trine gives a more of a fun and carefree personality and conjunctions indicates being a “down ass bitch”.

🍉People can help us, influence us or teach us something regarding the house their Sun and Moon resides in our chart. (EX. If you have Cancer in the 2nd house, Cancer Sun, Moon and dominant can help you with your finances, spending habits and better your relationship with money and vices. This can either be in a friendly advice, leading by example, or you falling for a scheme they did but you’ll ultimately learn nevertheless.)

🍉I have noticed people with Air Venus have a salad taste in music. They would listen to slow music, very emotional and heart hitting then it is followed by an earth shattering EDM track, having a rave on their own.

🍉Staying on the topic of music, I noticed the sign of the 3rd house and the planets residing there effect what we seek in music alot. (EX. Me and my sister both have Fire signs over the 3rd house, so we prefer to listen to something upbeat, however, I have Sun, Mercury, Saturn and Jupiter there so music to me should be meaningful beyond belief, and great in everything from vocal, melody, writing and production. She on the other hand has Mars there and all she cares about is a good beat on the track.)

🍉Although Fire signs are viewed as very competitive, which they’re, it is rarely talked about how competitive Earth signs can be. They are as, if not more, competitive, the difference is that they’re more quiet about it.

🍉I never understood why people say that Scorpios are mysterious, dangerous, ominous sex driven demon spawns. I never met one and felt that in any way. I think they just read a room and people so closely and thoroughly that they might give a death stare here and there.

🍉I noticed that where we have Neptune we get a positive illusion from ourselves or others, while Pluto is where people get misconceptions and take negative first impressions from us. (EX. Someone with Neptune in the 7th house and Pluto in the 4th house might be subject to being slut shamed based on the illusion that their many relationships and beauty (Neptune in 7th) makes them easy, have family issues or are home wrecker (Pluto in 4th)

🍉People with Moon or Venus in “Fatherly” houses (9th and 10th) may have mothers who took on the role of the father as well.

🍉Venus in opposition or Square to Mars/Saturn/Pluto will have a hard time finding the right relationship or a healthy one.

🍉Even though Taurus and Libra are Venusian siblings and their opposites are Aries and Scorpio, the Martian siblings, each sign fits with others opposite. Taurus and Aries share natural and rawness in their energy, Taurus is the natural and effortless beauty and Aries is the natural warrior and leader. Both come as they are.

🍉Scorpio and Libra, on the other hand, are known for deception and putting up a facade. However, they’re also more logical thinkers and diplomatic begins, which make them more likable and capable in comparison.

🍉Mars in Leo are strong willed and capable but that lion can be tamed with love. As powerful as they can be, their weakness lies within their heart, as love and loyalty hold them back. This can be negative, as they will be pushovers for those they love, as well as, fight others battles, making them prone to getting used by others.

🍉Saturn can be a tough teacher but if you learn the lessons and convert it’s energy to your advantage you’ll basically become unstoppable.

🍉With that being said, I find it to be particularly difficult in social houses (3rd, 7th, 11th) It creates a wedge and a block between the native and their peers. This can be either as they cannot express themselves, are misunderstood, and/or alienated by others.

🍉The season of the sign over the house your Moon resides in can be very difficult or a period of many emotional roller coasters. Also, where does it hit the most.(Ex. I have my moon in the 11th house and let me tell you, February have been the month of some of the worst and best things to happen in my life. Many friends I have lost and met in February/Aquarius season)

🍉 The degree of that house can also indicate the general feel or emotion you’ll run through in that season.

🍉Someone asked me about my “page chart” which I got very confused over. I don’t know where they got the idea but I didn’t think it was worth a whole post but here is the chart of Zodiacrant (the page):

Made on October 17th 2018

Sun: Libra

Moon: Aquarius

Mercury: Scorpio

Venus: Scorpio

Mars: Aquarius

ASC: Cancer

MC: Aries

I hope it is of any use to the anon and any of you 😅.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the observations. Please let me know your opinions and thoughts, share with us your own observations and rants.

Love you ❤️.

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gainingfiction · 2 years

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hi, this is the same anon from before (my favorite was big moments), i really enjoyed hot weather! joey as a character was really enjoyable, and i loved seeing him fall for ian. i'm always a sucker for genuine romance tropes applied to wg fiction. plus, big sweet charismatic but sort of ditzy jocks whose appetites dont slow down when they do and end up growing out of all their clothes and doubling their weight in the process... 🤤 BIG fan. this is likely antithetical to your writing process, but i'm almost curious what his weight was by the end. it didn't seem like he grew as much as an average character in your stories (not a complaint), but that might be because the narrative was so focused on making him likable and handsome that it didnt describe the exact specifics of his size. not a complaint though, i definitely had a crush on him that was stronger than just "he is a man getting very fat in my fetish erotica", so it worked a HUNDRED percent

side note, aside from the obvious (ie raul and enrique), do your characters have ethnicities? i only ask because i imagined joey as like, a more boyish winston duke, which i definitely enjoyed imagining and 3/4 of the way through reading i realized that his skin tone was never described. not an accusation of anything btw, im just curious about the less-described parts of characters in these kinds of things

(... yes i AM the kind of person who cares about ethnic diversity in amateur fetish erotica lmaooooo 💀if im gonna get off to men getting so fat they need several new wardrobes im gonna do it morally, god damn it!)

looking forward to whatever you post next!

Thanks for this awesome message, Anon! So glad you enjoyed!!

Sounds like we like the same tropes!! I’m a sucker for the “nerdy guy winning the (ex) jock’s heart”—maybe a bit of wish fulfilment on my end!

I did notice that "Hot Weather" ended up being a bit less descriptive and a little more plot-driven than some of my other work. I have a bit of a numbers kink (as you’ve probably noticed), I like scales and waist measurements and all of that fun stuff. But for this story I wanted to leave more to the imagination, and let the reader fill in as much as they wanted. So I left Joey’s weight ambiguous: we know he’s a strapping guy at 6’3”, so his starting weight could easily be close to 200 pounds. And we know that by January, he’d gained 50 pounds since starting his job sometime in the summer. The shorter timeline of this story also means that even though he gained quickly, he didn’t get to the size of someone like Daniel or Jason or Connor (at least not during the story). Other than the fact that he started gaining even more weight once he moved in with Ian, I thought I would leave his total weight gain an open question, as a sort of indication that Joey just stopped caring altogether.

As for diversity, I totally agree! It’s something that I’m conscious of and I’m trying to incorporate more of going forward. Lately I’ve been a little more vague with some of my descriptions, to leave readers more room to play out their own fantasies. So I’m thrilled that you imagined Joey as being Black! I’m not gonna pull a JK Rowling and start retroactively claiming diversity points, but I’m always delighted when readers draw their own conclusions: that’s one of the things I like best about gainer stories, you can imagine whatever type of guy you find the dreamiest!

As for characters of colour, I can’t speak for my co-author, but in writing “Lifeguard of Duty” I wrote Peter as being Korean (straight dark hair, his grandmother’s bibimbap recipe). And an upcoming story delves a little bit into the family life of a feeder named Ali, who’s Middle Eastern.

Thanks for reading! 😊 My next story, “All In a Day’s Work” is a little more experimental than some of the other stuff I’ve posted, but hopefully just as satisfying! Ideally I’ll have it online sometime in early-May.

#not fiction #great ask #keep the asks coming!#about the author #sort of

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daughterofluthien · 3 years

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“decisions were respected” Sorry but didn’t Scott violently throw Isaac against a wall more than once just because Isaac liked his ex girlfriend in canon? That’s the literal opposite of healthy...

Hey, anon!

This is in reference to this post about Scallison for the shipping meme, where I said that one of my favorite things about Scallison is that the show lets them have a healthy breakup, and even date other people while still remaining friends. The scenes you are referring to are a pair of scenes in 3x13 Anchors.

So lets’s take a look.

(under a cut bc it turns out that when you try to be comprehensive, things get v long v quickly 😅)

The Scenes

I’m actually gonna copy/paste the dialogue of both scenes (along with minimal action/inflection notation for context) so that we can really make sure we know what we’re talking about here, so bear with me:

The first of these scenes occurs as Scott and Isaac are getting ready to head to school in the morning. After some initial ‘hey, what’re you doing, are you heading to school�� dialogue—during which both boys seem a bit awkward—we get the following:

ISAAC: [anxiously] Can I ask you a question? SCOTT: Okay... ISAAC: Are you angry with me? SCOTT: No! ISAAC: Are you sure? SCOTT: ...No. ISAAC: [awkwardly] What's that mean? SCOTT: I guess I'm not really sure how I'm feeling... ISAAC: [nodding] Okay. ...Do you hate me? SCOTT: [sighing] No, of course not. ISAAC: Do you want to hit me? SCOTT: [taken aback] No. ISAAC: I think you should hit me. SCOTT: I don't want to hit you. ISAAC: Are you sure? SCOTT: Why would I want to hit you? You didn't do anything, did you? ISAAC: [stammering] No. I mean, um... What do you mean? SCOTT: I mean, like, you didn't kiss her or anything, right? ISAAC: No! Absolutely not. No. SCOTT: ...Did you want to? ISAAC: Oh, yeah. Totally. [scene cuts to hallway outside the room. Isaac flies through the doorway and hits the wall] MELISSA: Hey! You two teenage boys? Don't test my entirely un-supernatural level of patience! ISAAC: ...Feel better?

The scene then ends, and we cut to subsequent scenes of Stiles and then Allison also getting ready for school.

The second scene is much shorter and happens later in the episode, after Isaac saves Lydia from an arrow that Allison fired while hallucinating. He and Scott are in Scott’s room again, and he’s telling him about the incident:

SCOTT: Right at her head? ISAAC: Almost right through it. And she keeps saying the same thing-- that she keeps seeing her aunt. Whatever's happening to you guys is getting worse. If I hadn't been there, then Lydia would be dead. SCOTT: ...What were you doing there? ISAAC: Uh... [scene cuts to hallway outside the room. Isaac flies through the doorway and hits the wall] MELISSA: [groaning] Oh, you guys, come on! This house does not have a supernatural ability to heal! So, stop it!

But of course just the text of the scene isn’t enough to accurately convey everything in even a tiny portion of a larger narrative, because nothing happens in a vacuum. With that in mind, let’s look at...

The Context

The first of these scenes occurs immediately after the opening credits, and is the first time we see either Scott or Isaac this season. (Assuming you consider 3B a separate season, of course, which is a whole ‘nother can of worms. This tv show we all choose to enjoy sure is Something.)

Often, the opening of a season is used to reintroduce the audience to the main characters—letting us know where their characters arcs are starting, and what they’ll be struggling with this season. Teen Wolf did this previously (and did it well, imo) in 3x01 Tattoo. Act 2 of that episode begins with a series of four scenes showing our main characters getting ready for school in the morning, highlighting where everyone currently is, and setting up where their arcs are going to go.

Scene order taken by itself would seem to indicate that they were trying to do something similar in this episode. It starts off with the hook of Stiles’ extended nightmare sequence. He can’t tell dreams apart from reality anymore, and wakes up screaming. Cut to black, cue opening credit sequence.

Immediately after the first ad break, we get a sequence of three scenes. The first is the longer of the two Scott and Isaac scenes (which, as previously mentioned, occurs as they’re getting ready to head out to school). The second is of Stiles. He’s packing for school, and the audience learns that he’s been struggling to read when he’s awake as well. Finally, we see Allison leaving her and her dad’s apartment. She seems like she’s doing fine, if a little over-focused. But then she gets into the elevator, and has an extended hallucination/flashback of Kate.

We learn soon after this that all three of them (Scott, Stiles, and Allison) are suffering from the aftereffects of their sacrifice in the previous season. According to the explanations we get both from Kira and, later, from Deaton, they’re slipping into bardo, or the space between life and death, and there’s a door open in their minds.

Okay, problem established.

It stands to reason, then, that all three of those opening scenes are supposed to serve to set up this problem. We’re shown, in three successive scenes, that all three of our sacrificees are, as the kids say, Not Doing So Hot.

(yes I know the kids don’t say that, let me be an increasingly out-of-touch millennial in peace)

This is all well and good, and honestly makes sense! Under this paradigm, the Scott and Isaac scene should be highlighting that Scott is Losing Control. Bardo is affecting him, and it’s causing him to be more aggressive. Giving in to violence in a way that he generally holds himself back from. Heck, the scene even starts with Scott flexing his fingers, and we (and Scott) see the shadow of a clawed hand against the door.

In the context of the narrative, it makes sense.

Except.

eXCEPT—

The Framing

The thing about the medium of television is that, when we’re talking about a scene, we can’t just look at the narrative structure. We also have to look at the scene itself: how it’s shot and directed, how it’s edited, even what music is paired with the scenes.

In the Stiles and Allison sequences, the scenes are very clearly shot for tension and horror. Long lingering shots on the things that Just Aren’t Right. Music that heightens the tension. Stiles gets some nice lil scare chords over the shot of the book that he can’t read, and there’s a very quiet droning in the background of the Allison nightmare sequence that slowly grows into some classic horror soundtrack music.

Okay. So far that tracks with the narrative thesis.

Now let’s take look at the Scott and Isaac scene.

We start out with some of those lingering shots I was talking about, as Scott is halted in his tracks when he notices the shadow of the clawed hand. We see his own hand is human and unshifted. There’s quiet, percussion heavy music over this portion of the scene that increases in tension at this point. Shaken, Scott closes his hand into a fist, and when he opens it, both the shadow and his own hand are smooth and human. The tense music fades out to silence, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

Scott opens the door to reveal Isaac, which startles him. There’s a short musical sting to underline this moment, and then the background music cuts out completely, leaving us (and them) in the awkwardness of this moment.

And OH BOY. IS IT AWKWARD. 😬

You can kinda see the Awkwardness Inherent in the System in the dialogue that I pasted up at the top—it’s a lot of back-and-forth, short statements, trailing off... And both Posey and Sharman are playing up the awkwardness as well. Neither boy looks like they really want to be there, and that includes Isaac, who initiated this entire conversation.

But here’s the thing.

The thing that really frustrates me about this scene.

It’s not the sort of awkwardness that exists to increase the tension. The sort that builds and builds until it reaches a fever pitch and you know something just has to give. You know, the sort of tension that you would want to build if you were showing how the protagonist of your show is no longer fully in control, and is on a knife’s edge of lashing out at his friend and beta.

Instead, it’s played for comedy.

And once again, a lot of this is down to the music.

Before the dialogue that I quoted at the top even begins, the music starts back up, and this time the tense percussion has been replaced by light, pizzicato strings. (That may not be the exact right term, fyi, I only really know enough about music theory to be dangerous.) But you know, the playful, plucked strings that often accompanies comedic or otherwise not-serious scenes.

Background music tells the viewer how they’re supposed to feel about the events in a particular scene, and the music here is saying that we’re not supposed to find this whole confrontation that dramatic. In fact, we’re supposed to find it funny.

But it’s not just the music that that frames this scene as comedic. It’s also the fact that we don’t actually see Scott shoving Isaac. Instead, the scene cuts to the hallway, and all we see is Isaac flying through the doorway.

Now, obviously I don’t have a direct line to the director and editors’ minds here. But I would bet money that those particular shots were chosen 1). because it’s so much easier to do a wire pull stunt when you don’t have to show what it’s in reaction to, and 2). because it’s kinda difficult to show your main character directly doing a violence and make it funny.

But show someone yeeted into frame, and that’s funny. Right?

(Spoiler alert: not in this context, it isn’t)

Now, I know I’ve been focusing on the first scene a lot—partially because it’s longer and partially because it’s really the only reason that the second scene exists—but I do want to take a look at the second scene really quickly as well. It’s much shorter and generally adopts a more serious tone than the first one, mostly due to fact that we’re smack dab in the middle of the action at this point. The weird visions that the sacrificees have been having all episode have started endangering lives, and they can’t just wait for it to resolve on its own.

But then the focused, intent exposition is broken by Scott’s question of “why were you there.” Then smash cut to a near identical shot of the hallway,and Isaac yeeting into frame.

The thing is, this scene is entirely dependent on the previous one. It only “works”—and I use this term loosely—as a call back to the scene at the beginning of the ep. Heck, both even have the stinger of a frustrated Melissa at the end of both scenes, frustrated at all the boys-will-be-boys roughhousing going on in her house.

Much like the first scene, this one is also set up and framed for Comedy.

Which is um. A Choice.

But What Does It All Mean

What frustrates me about these scenes, at the end of the day, is that the narrative intention and the directing/editing seem to be fundamentally at odds.

On the one hand, it makes narrative sense to say that the purpose of the scenes is to show that Scott is losing control. That he’s being affected by bardo and the open door in his mind, and it’s putting the people close to him in danger. But then on the other, the way the scenes are actually used are as comic relief. As a way to release tension between very tense, dramatic scenes.

I don’t think it works, as I don’t personally find it funny at all. But that really does seem to be the intention.

Once again, absolutely wILD choices were made on the part of tptb, and I really wish anyone had thought for two seconds about the implications of all of this, but nO

Ahem.

So now (literally 2K words later I’m so sorry 😅) what does this tell us about the characters? Certainly no one here is arguing that shoving someone is a good or defensible choice, whether it’s due to forces outside the character’s control or not. But even taking the influence of bardo in mind, is it even in character for Scott in the first place?

Because canon can also be written inconsistently/out of character, especially when we’re talking about a long-running show like tw.

One’s an Incident, Two is Coincidence...

Well, we all know the end of that saying.

So let’s end by looking at a few patterns.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this, once again, eXCEEDINGLY long post, this is reference to a post I made about scallison. I said the following in that post:

And I also really like that they [Scott and Allison] didn’t get back together. That they were allowed to be friends. That even though sometimes it hurt to watch someone you love loved love become romantically close to another person, decisions were respected, and no friendships were broken over it.

The first pattern we need to look at, then, is this:

What’s Scott’s pattern of behavior toward Allison and Isaac’s relationship?

And does Scott’s behavior toward Isaac in these two scenes match the pattern, or is it an outlier?

3x11 Alpha Pact: Sacrifice Prep The revelation that Allison and Isaac have grown close enough for him to act as emotional tether for her is very visibly a blow to Scott. He looks like the rug has been pulled out from under him, but he doesn’t look angry or upset, just.... sad. In fact, it looks like he’s swallowing back tears. But he nods towards the two of them and just says, “It’s okay.”

3x12 Lunar Ellipse: “I look for my friends” This is the epilogue of the season. Scott walks into the hallway at all of his friends in turn. Satisfied. Happy. First at Lydia and Aiden, then at Danny and Ethan. Then he turns and watches as Isaac and Allison walk down the stairs, and they’re laughing, and so obviously happy, and Scott’s small smile grows. He isn’t jealous here—he’s happy for them.

3x14 Illuminated: Mutual Recognition Scott and Allison are both at Danny’s halloween party, but they’re not here together. He sees her from across a crowded room, just like he did at the winter formal, so many months ago. But so much has happened, and they’re different people now. Allison’s with Isaac, and he’s starting to having feelings for Kira, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, and that he doesn’t miss the relationship he and Allison had. For a moment, his fingers slip away from Kira’s, and he and Allison share a sad smile.

Believe it or not, these are actually the only other examples I could find of Scott reacting to Isaac and Allison’s relationship. And uniformly across them, he’s sad, yes—after all, he loved her, and that relationship is very definitively over now. But he never seems jealous, and he isn’t angry.

So, if the Scott and Isaac scenes in Anchors don’t fit the pattern of Scott’s behavior towards the new couple, what pattern do they fit?

“Hit me.”

The teen wolf writers have a... really upsetting habit, honestly, of “resolving” interpersonal conflict between two characters by having the “wronged” party hit the other. Afterwards, the tension is almost completely broken between them, as if letting the person act aggressively in a way consensual to both parties has somehow solved the problem.

2x11 Battlefield: Derek and Peter After Peter comes back from the dead, he confronts the now pack-less Derek and offers to help him. Derek, likely remembering that Peter killed Laura and was responsible for most of the events of S1, attacks him instead. After taking a beating, Peter says the following:

PETER: Okay, go ahead! Come on, do it! Hit me. Hit me. I can see that it's cathartic for you! You're letting go of all the anger, self-loathing, and hatred that comes with total and complete failure. I may be the one taking the beating, Derek, but you've already been beaten. So, go ahead. Hit me if that will make you feel better. After all, I did say that I wanted to help.

3x13 Anchors: Scott and Isaac We’ve already discussed this scene in uh. Detail. So I don’t think we need to go into the specifics again. But just a reminder that this dialogue exists:

ISAAC: Do you want to hit me? SCOTT: No. ISAAC: I think you should hit me.

5x15 Amplification: Scott and Liam During the previous supermoon, Liam—swayed by grief, the full moon, and Theo’s manipulations—tried to kill Scott and take his power. They’ve since rediscovered an equilibrium in their relationship, and Liam’s back in Scott’s pack, but they’re both still dealing with the implications of that event. In this episode, they’re attempting to break Lydia out of Eichen, but they’re not as strong as they should be, due to the mountain ash laced through the building, and are having difficulty breaking down a door. Then, the following exchange occurs:

LIAM: Hit me. SCOTT: What? LIAM: Hit me! I'll get angry, then I'll get stronger. STILES: Hit him. Hit him! LIAM: I tried to take your powers. I tried to kill you. Hit me! STILES: He also left you for dead. LIAM: I wanted you dead!

6x16 Triggers: Liam and Theo No one actually directly says “hit me” in this one, due to the circumstances, but the sentiment’s there. In this sequence, Liam and Theo are trying to convince Gerard and the hunters that the whole pack is hiding out in the zoo, so Theo goads Liam into hitting him, in order to stage a very audible fight.

THEO: Okay... Then they have to believe us.[shouts] Isn't that right? LIAM: [whispers] Why are you yelling? THEO: [shouts] You got a problem? Oh, that's right, you always have a problem! LIAM: [whispers] What the hell are you doing? THEO: [shouts] Shut up! [punches Liam] Yeah, you see that, Scott? Your little Beta can't even take a punch. And what do you think, Malia?

While there’s a variety of primary textual reasons here, all of them deal with personal issues between the pair, and all of them involve some level of catharsis for the person doing the punching. Taken all together, it’s honestly a pretty troubling pattern, especially given the inclusion of an actual canonical abuse victim initiating and receiving the violence.

TL;DR

This is a writer issue, not a character issue. The serious narrative context conflicts with the comedic framing in a way that is honestly baffling to me, and it doesn’t fit the established pattern of Scott’s character and actions. Moreover, it’s an example of the writers’ apparent belief that interpersonal conflict can and should be solved through consensual violence.

The pattern we do see, is that the Scott is saddened by the knowledge that Allison has moved on, but he’s glad that she and Isaac are happy. Similarly, Allison is saddened that Scott is moving on as well, because she does still care for him deeply. Despite their conflicted feelings, neither tries to disrupt the other’s new relationship.

On other shows, that would be a season-long, drama-filled plotline. Here, nothing.

And I legitimately love that so much.

#asks #anonymous #scott mccall #teen wolf #als;dkjlfkjf i'm so sorry that this turned out so long y'all #but it turns out that I have Thoughts #my meta

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gendieanonsideblog · 3 years

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about me !! :D hi im that infamous ?_? anon who is very much known in talking to gendie coining blogs !! my pronouns are : he / they / it as well as xey / xem / xir / xyrs / xemself , bee / buzz / bugs / boops / bugself , bee / bem / bee / bees / beeself , fizz / fizz / fizzes / fizzes / fizzself , but any neos are fine !! i dont use any emoji or noun pronouns but they are def awesome !! :D my pronouns page is here !! im a genderhoarder and most of my identities are located in this page !! im nd and poc but i dont want to reveal that specific information as well as my age anon is on if you want to do anything that isnt rqing but please dont dm me !! typing !! : - i mostly use more than end punctuation like !! or ?? - i dont use periods because it makes lh stuff seem too neg or srs :[ - i only use periods when it IS something neg or srs - i put spaces between punctuation ex : hi hey hello !! , what is cheese ?? - i dont use emojis only emoticons unless its something that cant be put in emoticons - i type in all lowercase - i use tone indicators !! please use them w me as well !! - i swear and use caps a lot :O misc : - im in pst timezone - i love giving funfacts - i have two dogs and i dream of having two ferrets and a lizard - i love reading / books / romance / angst / horror / slice of life / fanfiction / poetry - space / astronomy / aliens / stars - science / biology / physics / psuedoscience / math - the little things in life [ ex : a weed growing on the side of the road , a cloud that looks painted in the sky , etc ] - creepy things / spooky ones / the abnormal

and more !! my pfp is ?_? over the sapphicuddledinoboi flag and header is the ?_?anonic flag both by the lovely enkelikitty-mogai !!! my tagging system !! : #?_?anon mogai : any identities ive coined #?_?anon personal mogai : any identities i think are cool / identify w #?_?anon thinks these are cool : any identities i dont identify w but think its cool #?_?anon pronouns : anything related to pronouns #?_?anon remakes : anything ive remade #?_?anon names : anything related to names #?_?anon replies !! : anytime im replying to someone / anon #?_?anon big things : everything here has anything important just though i should add #?_?anon queued / rq : rq that are currently queued / rq #?_?anon needs suffixes : tagging things suffix related because i forget them a lot #?_?anon pinned : anything that is in my pinned post #?_?anon art stuff : anything related to art #?_?anon thinks this is swag : anything non mogai related that i think it cool #?_?anon edits and such : anything related to edits like pfps , moodboards , etc #?_?anon queued rbs : anything that i rb even if its mogai related , i have this tag to not flood anyones dash :]]

#?_?anon pinned #?_?anon big things

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ellewords · 3 years

Note

(not me reading this back and thinking you could make a drinking game out of this ask because of how many times i say “because” lmaooooo)

i’ve never actually seen wgm but i really love the idea of hinata being on the show, because i feel like he would be so starry-eyed the entire time. literal ✨👄✨ at everything because he’s never thought about what being married would be like and now suddenly he gets to experience it??!!?! he fumbles through all of it, and the fans love him for it because a lot of the other participants seem so smooth and suave, but not with hinata! he blurts his thoughts out as they come, he’s clumsy in situations that would normally require him to be put-together, he makes a huge deal out of every little thing. the first time his partner brought him a bouquet of flowers, hinata literally turns bright red and starts rambling so fast the audio just barely picks it up—

“you didn’t have to but that was really nice of you, i’ll get you something next time, hey, the flowers smell sweet, oh no, that’s actually you, you smell so nice, have you always smelt that way, you should definitely tell me what body spray you use because i might just have to get some of that—“

and the fans eat it up. and so does their partner who absolutely adores him even if hinata doesn’t quite get/see it.

i feel like it would also be hilarious if the partner was someone who isn’t necessarily the biggest (by choice, they don’t want to be in the spotlight all that much) but because of a really big project they have out soon, their team thinks they should get some of that pr. maybe a painter or a sculpture? one that has gotten a lot of attention as of late because their art is a little controversial/suggestive but has somehow managed to keep most of the media on the actual art and not on themself. they come off as really shy and recluse, but the second they get on the show, hinata brings them out of their shell, and that makes the fans like them even more. they love getting to see the artist behind everything and they especially love seeing how their artist brain translates into the real world. and just the idea of hinata being the kind of person who would be able to make even the most introverted person go a little crazy is something i think would be hilarious on reality tv.

anyway, hinata gets a lot smoother as they continue on, and it absolutely floors the fans because he’s so different from when he started. he holds his partner’s hand like it’s nothing, he says super sweet things without missing a beat, he holds eye contact without looking like he’s trying to win some unproclaimed competition. but he doesn’t realize he’s doing it, and the partner is too nervous that he’ll get weird about it to say anything.

by the end of their time on the show, fans can see how deflated the partner is even though they’re really good at hiding it still, and hinata is off too, but he can’t tell why. he is still chipper and all over the place, and the partner is still more open and engaging, but their energy is off. hinata chalks it up to them going to miss the time they shared together, but even that doesn’t feel quite right.

after they leave the show, hinata is super excited to see that the partner has started doing more community stuff (charities where they show up in person, giving art classes to people that donate certain amounts to organizations and projects that they support, going out in public and doing sketches/paintings of people on the street for reference later and recording tiny interviews with them as they do it to make a new documentary of the process or something). he gushes about it all over his social medias and anywhere else he can get someone to listen because they don’t have the time to actually ever meet up with the way their schedules are. he even starts posting behind-the-scenes clips that he had taken (with the permission of the partner) to engage with both parts of their fan bases.

and the partner does the same for hinata. they do a bunch of pieces of the jackals and sells them to get both of their communities involved and supporting them even if they can’t go to the actual games. their instagram is flooded with designs of new projects for them and even more of them of just hinata, all of which have captions that target just hinata (“wow, my ex-husband is so fine 🥵” “that’s your man? mhm! look at him! yeah, that’s mine” and other stupid, cheesy ones that make the fans feral because damn, they really have come out of their shell, huh?!)

the internet loves it, and they love even more that hinata seems to become the person at the beginning of the show all over again, flustered and a mess and tripping over his feet. a new hashtag starts because of it about the two of them being in love still (as a joke) and people upload some of their favorite moments of the pair together. when hinata sees it, he tries to play it off (horribly) but when he finally gets to talk to their partner about it, there’s a calmness in their voice that eases him just a little bit, and suddenly he’s aware of why exactly leaving felt so wrong.

this got a little sidetracked, but i don’t even mind, lololol. also, i definitely need to check out the show after this because i love the fake dating/marriage idea. thanks for putting me on to it! make sure to drink water, have a snack if you haven’t eaten in a bit, and take deep breaths! -🌙

— from elle ! okay but hinata and a painter/artist!partner is literally such an amazing idea to dive into, this now lives in my head and i will continue thinking about it for days on end. i absolutely love everything that you’ve sent aaa i’m actually screaming, i had a difficult time picking which part of your hc to focus on bec so many things popped into my head. but i ended up choosing to kind of pick up where you left off for my little addition (under the cut as usual) tysm for this 🌙 anon ! take care <3

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

hinata’s blush grows redder every second he spent staring at his phone, his twitter mentions filled with photos, edits, and even fanmade animations of the two of you. your shipname was trending again, all after you posted a rare photo of yourself in msby merch. you looked cute, that much was evident to hinata. then again, he always thought of you as cute — from the second you walked into set, all shy and nervous, from the minute you left it, your arms wrapped wrapped around his neck. why was he acting like this? filming had ended months ago; he’d grown more confident around you, hadn’t he?

your name flashed across his phone screen, interrupting his train of thought — you were calling him. his heart beat sped up, fingertips immediately moving towards the ‘answer’ button.

“hey shoyo!” you greeted, enthusiasm very much evident in your voice, “did you see the picture i just posted?”

“i did! um...you look great.” he mumbled, unsure if you had heard him, heat continuing to rush towards the apples of his cheeks.

“thanks!” he hears your chuckling from the other end of the line, and a small part of his mind convinces himself that you were somehow teasing him. “you’re coming tomorrow, right?”

“what’s tomorrow?”

“my photo exhibit, silly.”

ah, that. hinata could imagine you shaking your head, biting your lip as you attempt not to burst out into laughter at his cluelessness. the beating of his heart is more rapid now, thinking of how you anticipated his answer, how you wanted him to be there. “i was only kidding, of course i’ll be there.”

“sure,” you replied like you didn’t really believe him, “i’ll see you then.”

—

hinata was the one who convinced you to get into photography. truthfully, you wanted to try and exploring other mediums beside your usual set of paint and pencils.

“maybe i should try taking photos.” you joked, gently nudging his shoulders as the two of you browsed various film cameras. the crew had taken a brief break from filming, but you and hinata still wanted to continue exploring the various antique shops that lined the street.

“go for it!” he replied without missing a single beat, quickly rattling off a list of potential subjects, “you can take photos of plants, or maybe animals, really pretty scenery...it’s not even going to matter because i know you’ll end up taking really amazing photos.”

and when hinata insisted that he pay for the camera you chose, you decide on a subject.

the gallery is empty. well, at least the reception area is.

hinata’s dressed in his finest button-down and slacks, black dress shoes clicking against the white granite tiles. the receptionist directs him to the floor where your exhibition is meant to be held — right at the very top.

his brows furrow, there should be more people here. photographers, critics, fans even. he should’ve been greeted by reporters, by the surely hundreds of people all excited to see your work. you had only grown in popularity since your appearance on wgm, the number of people going to your exhibits only ever increasing. he should know, hinata’s been to every single one over the course of the show’s run. he knew what to expect. and it was certainly not this.

the elevator dings, indicating that he had reached the top floor. still, not a single person there. the frown on his face only deepens. hinata catches a glimpse of the exhibition’s title, “beyond the cameras: a retrospective”

the glass door is unlocked, hinata pushes through them only to be greeted with pictures of the last subject he expected: himself.

framed on the white walls of what possibly was tokyo’s most famous gallery were photos of him, glossy and bright, colors vivid and alluring. and they weren’t just any photos too, they were photos taken on the rare occasions wherein cameras weren’t following your every move. there were photos of him from nights he snuck you in the gym to teach you how to play volleyball, ones of him covered in paint taken in your studio, ones of him attempting to make you breakfast. all of which had him looking away from the camera.

that is until he reaches the final photo, the only one that had you in it as well, taken the night before the final day of filming. he was looking at the camera, but you were looking right at him — your gaze soft, the corners of your lips forming the smallest of smiles.

“so maybe i lied,” hinata heard a voice speak from beside him, recognizing it as yours almost immediately, “the exhibition is actually tomorrow. i just wanted you to see it first.”

“but why me?” he asked, biting the inside of his cheek.

“just because.” you shrugged, not even turning to look at him, gazing at your final photo — just like he was.

but hinata feels it, the tightening in his chest, the tension that enveloped your bodies as the two of you continued to stare straight ahead. he hears it, the ringing in his hears, the hammering of his heart, the unevenness of his breath.

you stand next to him, just a few inches separating you. hinata’s hand is drawn like a magnet to yours. at first your knuckles graze, and hinata holds his breath. then his fingertips push in between yours, you bite your lip. finally he he grasps your hand, a quiet exhale escapes you both.

you tear your eyes away from the photograph at the same time he does; your gazes meet. and just like that, you finally reach the same understanding as him, of just why leaving felt so wrong.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

a question: how would the hq boys (specifically timeskip) act on a variety show like we got married? | written on the margins masterlist

taglist : @haikyuutothetop @crystal-lilac @tobioespresso @sushijimawakatoshi @itsmeaudrieee @pantherhappy @jesssobs @mysticstrawberryballoon @cloudedsky_29

join my hq taglist here. <3

#my lil scenario ended up so long #why do i keep getting carried away im so sorry #written on the margins 🔖#hinata scenarios #hinata x reader #🎐 — 🌙anon! <3

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tarotwitchy · 3 years

Note

Hi! Anon devided between my partner and ex lover here.

I know it’s not fair to my partner but i would like to at least speak about my side, and i have to say, he’s not being fair to me for almost 3 years now, abuse being the only thing he truly gives me everyday, everytime i’m at at my lowest and needing to feel loved and support, he finds a way to make me feel worse, calling me in all sorts of horrible things and making me feel like a mad person or even worse, making me feel bad about my mental health, this cry my eyes out for hours and hours and i have tried to kill and hurt myself a few tikes because of him. From the last 3 years i have been talking to him and asking him to stop that, i have begged him to stop, because all he does is hurt me(last fight, even physically and left me with all sort of bruises), but i keep giving him chances over chances because he is always saying he will change and only done those things because he was tired, or exausted, or any other excuse. I have give him every single part of me and my dedication for years, to only receive abuse, harsh words and pain. So please don’t judge me for wanting something more than abuse. And also, my partner knows how I’m currently feeling and i have told him already that things don’t change I cannot give him another chance because I cannot live another abusive relationship, and that i need someone to support and truly love me.

So anyways, sorry for wishing for real love and support instead of staying in a abusive relationship that never changes and gets worse day by day. The only time he is sweet is when he wants something from me.

Although things are hard right now because my partner moved from another state and it’s living in my house(he can’t afford one at the moment, just started a new job), i know what i have to do, but i’ll wait things get better for him first because i’m not unfair as you said i am.

I’m really thankfull for you for taking your time and energy for the reading, but i’m really not thankfull for the blind judgment.

Have a great day and i wish you happiness and luck in life

Hold on a minute. TW: mentions of abuse.

https://tarotwitchy.tumblr.com/post/649863367582973952/hi-how-are-you-hope-youre-doing-well-and-having

I sincerely hope this is the reading you're pertaining to, and that this is the one you sent me. There was one other reading that had something to do with being divided between two people, so I really hope this is the one you're talking about.

First of all, if I offended you about anything, I apologize. It isn't my intention to hurt anyone with my readings. However! Let me make one thing clear: You did not give me any other indication about your situation. I wasn't made aware that you were dealing with abusive themes in your relationship. Having been an abuse-survivor myself, my heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine the hurt and the pain you've been through; it took me years of therapy to get through mine. You deserve someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and won't hurt you in any manner imaginable. And I am truly glad that you are now out of the relationship for good!

I wasn't judging you in any way, anon. It was only a reminder that our actions affect other people. That's why I said it was unfair to your partner if you're thinking about someone else whilst in the relationship. But now that you've explained your side, I understand your stance so much better!

(This is why I prefer to do paid readings, honestly. Not because of the money, or whatever. But because I know there will be sensitive topics and/or themes that my clients would want to discuss thoroughly beforehand.)

Secondly, I know the feeling of wanting answers for yourself, anon. This is one of the primary reasons why I started to do Tarot myself. I was in a very low place in my life, and I just wanted answers about my own abusive relationship. But please remember (and this is also for other people who are in the same situation), a tarot reading is NOT the help you'd want to seek when dealing with abusive relationships, family abuse, childhood traumas, death of loved ones/pets, etc. These things are best left for therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, guidance counselors, and all other professionals.

I understand that you may not have the resources to pay for professional mental health services or support services. But I am imploring you to seek out someone who is a trained professional that deals with abuse survivors.

I have said this once before, and I will say it again: Tarot cards and general readings will serve whatever purpose they may have but it is not an end-all-be-all solution to your dilemmas.

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.womenagainstabuse.org/get-help/chat-with-us

https://victimconnect.org/resources/national-hotlines/

https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/programs/family-violence-prevention-services/programs/ndvh

My heart goes out to you, anon. There is help. Please don't be hesitant to call out resources to aid and help you in your recovery, and if you are in an emergency situation. This goes out to all my other followers as well. Tarot cards can only get you so far but if you are or have experienced abuse, please know that these issues are best handled by professionals who are trained to deal with this.

I wish you the very best. I'm rooting for your journey of healing and recovery. Please stay safe.

#feedback #tarot readings #abusive relationship #trigger warning #free readings #divination #tarot #tarot reading #cartomancy

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yesloverboy · 5 years

Text

Tomorrow Holds Such Better Days (mgk!Tommy Lee x Reader)

Requested: Anon

“I have 2 requests but they are completely up to your interpretation anyways, so for one like tommy taking care of his drunk girlfriend or friend or whatever you want and then another request would be tommy (lol love my tommy) where like the reader and tommy are friends and they’re at a bar and readers ex is there and shit goes down. Hopefully those make sense, do what you want!”

Note: Here’s a cute little imagine to start your week off with! I have one month until the semester starts, and I’m trying really hard to bang out these requests before they take even longer to post (if you can even believe it). As always, thank y’all so much for reading/requesting, and please lmk what you think!

word count: 1,676

[Warnings: alcohol use, language]

permanent tags: @colsonbakersnoseringmain, @lululovesgwtw, @kingbouji3

mötley crüe tags: @lauravic

You lean your head against the cool tiles of the bathroom wall, head spinning as you kneel in front of the toilet. The lights are far too bright, and every cell in your body is begging for you to release any trace of alcohol that’s still poisoning you. You try your best to heave into the toilet bowl, but it doesn’t seem like you have much left to give.

So much for a good night out.

Eyes heavy with exhaustion, you suddenly find that the shaggy bath mat looks a lot cozier than you remember. More than anything you want to curl up on it and drift into a drunken sleep, uncaring of how many dirty boots and other wasted idiots may have trampled upon it in the past. Just as you feel yourself giving into the urge to tip right over, a loud knock on the bathroom door jolts you back into some semblance of reality.

“Y/N?” a muffled voice from the other side of the door calls out to you, but the faint thump of background music makes it hard to distinguish who it belongs to.

“Fuck off,” you groan instinctively. The last thing you want right now is visitors.

The person on the other side knocks again, either ignoring your request, or simply deciding they don’t care.

“Open up, Y/N,” they try again, “It’s me– Tommy!”

Tommy?

The name ricochets through your mind, moving as slow as ripples on still water. Your boyfriend was supposed to be playing a gig halfway across town, not banging on the bathroom door of a dingy, West Hollywood house party. You groan internally, knowing that your best friend must have called him when she heard you throwing up. Sitting in radio silence, you pray up at the popcorn ceiling that he’ll give up and go away. Sure, you had peeled Tommy off the floor of countless bars and bathrooms–but you couldn’t let him see you like this. You were always the one in control, and your pride isn’t willing to cut you any slack.

Despite your efforts to will him away, Tommy shoves the door open, making you scold your past self for not locking it earlier. You cringe at the sounds of laughter and music temporarily invading the space, and Tommy closes the door behind him.

“There’s my stubborn girl,” he coos, kneeling down to meet your gaze. Suddenly, your alcohol induced agitation melts away at the sound of Tommy’s voice. A dreamy sigh escapes from your lips, and you think that he looks just as gorgeous as the night you met him. Every bit of natural instinct left in you is screaming for him to go away, but you are unable to ignore the pitter patter of your heart.

“You seeing anyone?”

The question startles you out of your thoughts. Turning around, you find a very tall boy with a shy smile and nervous fingertips standing before you. You didn’t recognize him, and yet you can’t help but wonder how you could have possibly missed him. With his long wavy hair and ripped jeans, you’re almost positive he would’ve stood out amongst the crowd– but then again, you were too caught up in your own mess to have noticed anyone else.

“Sorry?” you ask, realizing you got so preoccupied by ogling at him that you hadn’t really heard his question.

“I said,” he answers, taking a more confident step forward, “are you seeing anyone? I saw you inside the party earlier and you looked– well, you looked kinda lonely.”

Taken slightly aback by the boy’s forwardness, you take a sip of the drink in your hand in a desperate attempt to buy more time. Who does this guy think he is anyway? You have half a mind to tell him off, but something in those blue eyes makes you swallow your aggression. It’s not like he knew you and your last boyfriend just ended things a few nights ago. You’d come out to your best friend’s party to get your mind off of things, and somehow ended up alone on the front porch, lost in thought.

Well– at least you aren’t alone anymore.

“No,” you quip, peering at the boy over the top of your red solo cup.

“No, as in you aren’t seeing anyone, or no, you’re not lonely?” he continues to wander towards your place on by porch’s railing, slowly but surely closing the gap between the two of you.

To yours and his surprise, you don’t back away. Instead, you rest against the railing, making yourself more comfortable in an effort to ignore your pounding heart. Any other guy trying to smooth talk you would have you turning on your heel and heading the other direction, but there’s something about his sincerity that locks you in place.

“No, I’m not seeing anyone.”

The boy flashes you a kilowatt smile and leans on the railing next to you, propping his weight on his elbows so that he can look you in the eyes. The sound of your heartbeat is deafening.

“Then why don’t you come see me, gorgeous?” he punctuates his question with a wink, and you can’t hide the smile that ghosts your lips. God, it’s been so long since you’ve smiled.

“In your dreams, kid,” you laugh. Even though the guy in front of you is probably around your age, you’re more accustomed to older guys trying to get your attention.

The boy holds a hand to his chest dramatically, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. “Ouch! That really wounded me, you know.”

“Then bleed,” you pur, leaning in close enough to whisper in his ear. His mouth hangs open in disbelief, clearly feeling as though he had met his match.

You set your empty solo cup on the railing, and turn to leave with a smirk of satisfaction on your lips. Even if he hadn’t necessarily succeeded in picking you up, you find yourself grateful for the distraction. Just as you are about to open the front door and head inside, the boy calls out to you once again.

“Wait! I wasn’t done talking to you,” even after being paralysed by your words, he still has a goofy smile plastered across his face. You find yourself admiring his resilience.

“Call me when you’re older,” you grin. Your hand is wrapped around the doorknob, but you still stand there, unmoving.

“How about I call you tomorrow?” The boy approaches you tentatively, his face softening as his blue eyes search yours for any indication that he’s overstepping any boundaries. “Come on, what have you got to lose?”

Nothing, you think as your mouth runs dry of clever things to say.

“So, tomorrow then?” he asks, clearly not buying into the idea that you were completely done with him.

You bite your lip, wondering if the stranger in front of you is in any way worth taking a chance on. Even if you don’t know his name you can’t deny that he managed to do the impossible– he made you smile when you thought you never would again.

“Tomorrow, it is.”

That had been about six months ago. Six months of movie nights, spontaneous road trips, and cheering Tommy on from the front row of his gigs. As much as you hate to admit it sometimes– you wouldn’t change a thing.

“Who are you calling stubborn?” you giggle, recalling the way Tommy was banging on the bathroom door just moments before.

Without answering, he grabs you by the arms and helps hoist you to your feet. To your chagrin, the room is spinning and you cling to Tommy in the hopes that you won’t tumble over completely.

“Easy there, gorgeous,” he smiles, allowing you to lean against his lanky figure, “I’ve got you.”

As Tommy practically carries you out of the party, another streak of guilt and embarrassment washes through you. You are an adult for chrissakes, no one should be taking care of you but yourself.

“‘M sorry,” you mumble as Tommy helps get you situated in the car. Even though your boyfriend seems more than happy to help, you can’t help your drunk brain’s natural instinct to become melancholy and self conscious.

“What for?” he asks, buckling your seatbelt for you.

You can feel your eyes sting as Tommy climbs into the driver’s seat and cranks the ignition, making the car come to life with a gentle hum.

“I shouldn’t have drank so much– I hate you seeing me like this.”

Tommy rests a hand on your leg as he drives, helping to ground you in the moment just a little bit more. You grasp at it like a lifeline, doing everything you can to avoid the bright lights of the city as the two of you journey home.

“Trust me, baby,” he scoffs, “I have done and seen so much worse. You don’t even wanna know. Besides, you take care of me all the time– let me take care of you, okay?”

You smile for the first time since Tommy picked you up off the bathroom floor and find the courage to glance over. His eyes are trained on the road, but a smile remains firmly fixed on his face– unwavering and only for you. While you’re still dizzy from the alcohol swimming through your bloodstream, the knot in your stomach seems to have finally untangled.

“Maybe I, uh, can make it– make it up to you tomorrow,” you stammer, playing with his fingers absentmindedly. “We could do something fun.”

“If you make it out of bed tomorrow, then you’ve got yourself a deal,” Tommy laughs, shooting you a familiar wink that makes your heart melt.

“So, tomorrow then?” you ask, voice barely a whisper as your head rests comfortably against the car window. With the hum of the engine and the warmth of Tommy’s hand in yours, you find your eyes pulling closed with fatigue.

Just as you are about to drift off to sleep, you hear a soft voice beside you say, “Tomorrow, it is.”

Masterlist

#honestly idk if this made sense #or was what you had in mind #but i thought it was kinda cute #writing #the dirt #the dirt requests #mgk!tommy lee #mgk x reader #tommy lee x reader #tommy lee #mick mars #vince neil #nikki sixx #motley crue imagine #motley crue #motley crue oneshot #mgk #machine gun kelly #80s

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ts-daydream-au-fanartfunart · 6 years

Text

Daydream AU Chronological Master-post

listenherebuddypalBecause I thought it might be helpful. Under the cut, so it’s easily updatable. (unless marked with ‘text post’ or ‘writing’ all of these are comics/art)

Initial Post/AU description.

Chrono link

notes: Related asks are nested within each other between page-breaks and/or ‘parent’ asks will have ‘child’ asks linked underneath indicated by a ‘->’. Newer content is un-bolded (other than w/in Concept Art). There will be occasional movement/duplication of asks that I’m unsure how to categorize (for that I apologize). Other than that, have fun and tell me if there’s any way I can make this master-post better/easier to read.

Concept Art:

Dragon Virgil

Dragon Patton/Stuffed animal hoard (mostly here because I used the Dragon Virgil design. ...and it’s cute, come on.)

Deceit’s Design

Thomas’s Design

-colored pics of Dragon V, Unicorn P, Fairy L, Roman & Thomas in one post.

Backstory:

Fairy Ring -Patton & Logan meet: 1 -- 2 -- 3

Patton- First Shapeshift (ask answer) -- Poachers ( ask answer, semi-prequel/sequel to First Shapeshift) -- HOOVES (ask answer, First Shapeshift sequel) --

Roman- Chase !!Manipulative Deceit!! (writing & ask answer)

Logan- Introductions (ask answer) -- Torn Wing !!Injury & Crying!! (ask answers -also found in Story Asks-): 1 -- 2 -- 3 (textpost) -- 4

Virgil- Dragons & Knights !!Death & Injury!!: 1 -- 2 -- 3 -- 4 (Virgil & Patton meet)

Main Story:

A Little Daydream (writing) -covers from the initial post to the first two comics.

“Please don’t turn me into a frog” -Roman meets a fairy.

“TADA”-Patton & Logan reunite.

Fireside (writing)

“MY SASH” -The reason Ro doesn’t have his sash.

Roman’s Reaction to meeting Virgil (ask answer)

Time to Meet Virgil

“Virgil if you-”

Light Logan ---(colored final panel)

Jam

Virgil’s got a human form? (ask answer)

“You look normal enough” -Roman brings his various magical friends into a village.

Homesickness

Home is... -- 1 -- 2 -- 3 -- 4 -- 5 -- 6 -- 7 -- 8 -- 9 -- 10

Non-Plot:

Sleepy Adventurers

“Hey, we’ve got the same glasses!” (text-post)

Roman & Thomas

Fairy!Logan doodles

Fire-breathing Virgil

Worldbuilding Asks:

Ages! (anon)

Virgil’s voice (anon)

Does Virgil have a tail? (anastasialestina)

Why was Logan hesitant on giving Patton his name? Text-post (anon)

How small/big can Logan get? (ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2)

How big can Virgil grow to be? (ifthecrownfitswearit)

Do things like Ghosts, Demons & Angels exist in this au? Text-post (puffthetrex)

If they’re traveling where do they sleep at night and where do they find food? And is Virgil a carnivore? Text-post (anon)

Does Virgil hunt? Text-post (anons)

So I’m guessing Logan’s of the Seelie court? Text-post (anon)

Aren’t faeries dangerous? Text-post (listenherebuddypal)

How does Two-headed Dee work? Text-post (artisticdragonwitch)

Had Roman ever seen a dragon before Virgil? Text-post (anon)

Story Asks:

Is Logan aware size-shifting isn’t very scientific? -this is the ask that caused a whole slew of theories that explained it... (justanotherpurplebutterfly)

How do Patton & Virgil meet? Text-post (anon)

3 questions- how did everyone meet, how did they react to Roman, & how did everyone react to Virgil’s human form? Text-post (anon)

Why does Patton Shapeshift into a Fairy & Roman as a form of transport (anon)

Logan’s reaction to Pat’s shapeshifting & how does Patton learn to control it? (anon)

You’re telling me Logan went a long time thinking Patton was captured by humans? Text-post (anon)

Where're Virgil & Logan’s families? (Dragons & Knights foreshadowing) (anon)

Do the others know about Virgil's past? (anon)

Art-Reply “Concerned Virgil”- asks in relation:

[What is logan's peripheral vision when standing on Virgil’s nose? (anon)

Patton can shapeshift that small -does he join along with Logan to see what he sees? (anon)

I just imagine Roman trying to join in on the fun, clinging to Virgil for dear life (anon)

Patton is Fairy Godmom Confirmed (fluidityandgiggles)

Why’s Virgil concerned? Text-post (anon) >> Technically aren’t they all small to Virgil? Text-post (anon)]

Seeing how Logan immediately examined virgil when he showed his human form... Text-post (anon)

Patton Dragon Shapeshift? (yamihatarou & anon)

Patton, have you ever shapeshifted into someone/smth female? (anon)

Gift-Ask (yoursdearesttravin)

Roman’s New Sash (the-cartoon-shwarma)

Who’s the most powerful one out of them? (anon)

-> How do you all describe power then? (enby-phoenix)

Does Virgil miss his mom? & Do the others comfort him? (reupload) (anon)

Do you miss home Roman? (justanotherpurplebutterfly)

-> Why is it Thomas’s fault you’re out here Roman? (anon)

Has Patton Shapeshifted into the same kind of appearance that Virgil’s human form is? (enby-phoenix)

-> Poor pat, did that hurt? (anon)

How does Virgil sleep in his human form? (reupload) (anon)

Will Virgil tell Roman what happened to his mom? (artisticdragonwitch & deafgirl-and-hercoven)

Patton, what’s your favorite thing about your friends? (deafgirl-and-hercoven)

Patton should get some saddle bags! (anon)

Explanations of saddlebags for Pat (thatrandomautist & anon)

Is Virgil ever without his cloak? (anon)

Did Virgil have a father? (anon)

Dragon Purrito & Can dragon’s purr? (this-is-ske)

Can Virgil purr as a human? text-post (anon)

Does Virgil’s human form look similar to Roman like it does w/ Patton? (anon)

Why did Logan stop wearing the fairy dresses? (anon)

-> Would Logan wear a dress again if Patton, Roman or Virgil made him one? (anon)

->> Would Logan be shy if wore a dress again? What if Patton made a dress for him? (anon)

You can’t live in the forest forever Roman. What’s your plan? (anon)

-> Well the first thing you need to do.... (anon)

Has Virgil given the others a ride on his back while flying? (ebony-wolf)

Ro, do the others know you ran away?... (the-cartoon-shawarma)

Do Roman & Virgil comfort each-other when homesick?--answered through “Homesickness” (the-cartoon-shawarma)

-> Roman, do you want to know what happened to Virgil’s mom? (deafgirl-and-hercoven)

->> So I guess Roman knows what happened to Virgil’s mom now? What does he think of that? (anon)

->>> Roman shouldn’t be supprised (anon)

What if (angsty idea)... (anon)

Does Roman ever get to see Thomas again? Is anyone looking for him? Does Thomas miss him too? (sher-soc-the-famder)

Hey Thomas! How are you? (pastel-anonymous)

-> A little stressed? Why not a lot?

(bromaster20)

You will find him, Thomas (anon)

Thomas do you know what happened to Roman? (deafgirl-and-hercoven)

-> Why not believe the kidnap unicorn part? (bromaster20)

->> Hate to break it to you but all stories have some truth to them.. (bromaster20)

Don’t worry Thomas, Roman’s on an Adventure! (anon)

Did logan ever get stuck on anything? (anon)

->> Lets Rephrase, Logan have you ever gotten stuck IN anything? (justanotherpurplebutterfly, coldmusiccollectorblog, & anons)

Hey Thomas, I’m sure he’s fine! (deafgirl-and-hercoven)

Would you mind talking about you and Roman, Thomas? Has something like this happened before? (sher-soc-the-famder)

Patton, what’s your favorite things to shapeshift into? (anon)

Joan, How’s that list Thomas gave you going? (anon)

Thomas are you worried about Roman, or are you mad? (anon)

-> Thomas how could you doubt Roman!? (anon)

Does Patton’s human form ever remind Roman of Thomas? (ajh-aaa)

Thomas don’t worry Roman’s fine! (the-cartoon-shawarma & anon)

-> Yeah, Roman’s homesick because he doesn’t think he can come home (anon)

Logan, how/when did you meet Virgil? (anon)

Thomas chill (anon)

Roman, do you think maybe Thomas is looking for you not for Treason, but because you’re his brother? (the-cartoon-shawarma)

Pat didn’t kidnap Roman (thatrandomautist & anon)

Joan, how do you feel about the fact that someone pretended to be you by shapeshifting? (anon)

Deceit, why did you drive Roman away from the castle? (anon)

Virgil, there’s no denying you’re adorable, I mean, at least Roman believes you’re handsome, right? (anon)

Logan and Virgil are adorable and Logan is small and huggable. Patton is just a dad, Deceit...he’s cool. 2 heads are better then one sometimes, and Roman.... (yoursdearesttravin)

-> Roman it ok!!!!!! (fangirltothefullest, coldmusiccollectorblog, demigod-in-tha-house, the-cartoon-sharwarma, & many anons)

->> Virgil! Patton! Quick, group hug! (bromaster20)

Wait. Did you imply that Deceit was Virgil’s dad? textpost (anachronistic-cat)

-> Is Deceit his brother? (the-doctor-demigod-wizard & anons)

->> Did they get along when they met? How old were they and how well does virgil remember him? (anon)

Has Logan ever torn/broken a wing? (anon)

-> oh no Logan what happened? (hiddendreamer67 & anons)

->> So I’m guessing Logan’s of the Seelie court? Text-post (anon)

->>> Did Logan’s wing get torn ‘cause he was thrown out of the court? (beyondthestacks, fangirltothefullest, & anons)

->>>> When Logan gets sad how do the others help him? (anon)

->>>>> “They shouldn’t have to make me choose...” did the Seelie court exile Logan because he befriended Patton? text-post (listenherebuddypal, fangirltothefullest, & anons)

Submission Posts:

A Logan Size-Shifting Theory (yoursdearesttravin)

Art Asks:

(includes any of the random non-story stuff. Ex: ask game art requests, most “Let Eat ...” Marco asks, most compliment asks, ect.)

I live for the Daydream AU (deafgirl-and-hercoven)

Baby Virgil, Logan, Patton & Roman (anon)

Dragon Virgil !!blood-lookalike warning!! (forrestwyrm)

Dragon Virgil ‘Look at him. He’s got Anxiety’ (anon)

Shy Fairy Logan (pendulumtess)

Soft Fairy Logan Reaction Doodle (anon)

Dragon Virgil w/kiddo (deafgirl-and-hercoven)

I gotta say Virgil looks hecka cool (anon)

Oh my gosh Virgil is adorable (enby-phoenix)

Love you, Virgil! (nexon-pandorlin-2034)

[Actually, Virgil is quite Dangerous- (bromaster20)

-> Thank you for the compliment! (bromaster20)

->> I’m sensing you are confused... (bromaster20)]

Patton you’re adorable and I love you (karmels-stuff)

Virge you’re adorable no matter how much you deny it (anon)

Virgil’s a fierce and handsome dragon... (pastel-anonymous)

Virgil is "Adorably Dangerous” (puffthetrex & the-doctor-demigod-wizard)

Patton, you’re adorkable (anon)

I noticed Roman’s shorter than the other’s when in human size/forms...(enby-phoenix)

Nah Logan, you’re precious (justanotherpurplebutterfly)

The purrito is the most adorable... (anon)

[Roman if it helps.... Virgil I do not agree with you just being adorable...(bromaster20)

... you are still an adorably dangerous noodle (bromaster20)]

HUGS (the-cartoon-shawarma)

Would his royal gayness like some tea & cookies? (pastel-anonymous)

-> What kind of cookies would you like? (pastel-anonymous)

Can we see more of that horse? aka: “Let Eat Cape?” (karmels-stuff)

Let Eat Shoe (anon)

->Hey Marco did you enjoy that shoe? (karmels-stuff)

Omg At least Roman can say Patton’s never tried to eat his sash (anon)

Logan I like your boots! (enby-phoinex)

Pure drago babe. Big Love. (anon)

So I was imagining where this could go..... (karmels-stuff)

Hey Roman! Do your socks have holes in them? (thatrandomautist)

*gives hugs and affection to Fairy Logan because he deserves it* (anon)

Other/Related Discussion:

[Incomplete asks (Anons) -1 (textpost) -2 (daydream AU Thomas Lineart) - 3 (Logan v TS sketch) - 4 (textpost)-]

I just saw the post with Logan comforting Roman and I’m like “Logan is now another older brother.... textpost (the-cartoon-shawarma)

Also people keep calling Virgil adorable..... textpost (fangirltothefullest)

Fantastic Fanart & the Like:

(inktober) Guarded - @whitewinery

Colored Virgil & Patton hug (Virgi’s got a human form?) - @ask-the-universe-travlers

Fairy!Logan - @maya-tl

Unicorn Patton in Last Unicorn Style - @fangirltothefullest

Patton, Virgil & Lo - @mad-as-moriarty

“Look at me, my name is Roman” Virgil - @sandersscribbles

(Secret Sanders) Merry Chirstmas Mom (Virgil) - @birdybabybird

Dragon Virgil - @owlwitch104

Fairy!Logan - @red--cosplays

Fairy!Logan - @dailypattondoodle

Exiled from Seelie Court - @listenherebuddypal

@nightmarejasmine came up with the name for the Daydream AU!! Which I am eternally grateful for! Thanks so much!

-note- if I missed something or didn’t link it right, feel free to bug me about it.

#Daydream AU #Master post #no I'm not done updating just tired and in need of saving it.

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freckliedan · 6 years

Photo

(for context, i made a post asking if this anon would b comfy telling me if she was a part of the lgbt community because i would be able to answer more quickly & with more nuance if i knew! my response would’ve been very different for the first ask if it had come from a cis/het person)

hi b!!!!!!!! ty so much for sending me this ask! this is a conversation i’ve had with friends a number of times & i think it’s really good to talk about so i’m really glad to have the chance to talk about it on my blog!

(under the cut because this got long)

i really feel you on this entire situation, tbh- i really hate to assume people’s sexualities, especially people who i don't actually know, bc doing that enforces gender roles & stereotypes so much of the time. especially when it's straight people doing the assuming? like, straight people talking about having good "gaydar" for me feels like them talking about being good at stereotyping people based on mannerisms etc and it makes me so fucking uncomfortable!

i'm 100% of the opinion that unless someone has the agency in telling people they're lgbt (like, they get to come out on their own terms, or they're so comfortably out that you'd maybe hear them referred to with pronouns besides he/she or hear about a same-gender partner when hearing about them in conversation)? nobody should be making a definitive assumption or trying to find proof or support of any perspective on their sexuality. people should get to be as closeted or as out as they're comfortable being, bc more than anything all lgbt people deserve to feel safe.

that said? i feel like lgbt ppl have actual "gaydar" but that it's not the same thing straight people say "gaydar" is. i think that for lgbt people, it has as much to do with being able to identify homophobic or transphobic straight or cis people (bc there are transphobic lgb folx, why do people. DO that) and being able to identify what straight/cis people are safe to be around as it does being able to find other lgbt people. it's more of a survival mechanism than a way of identifying people who are different, the way it functions for straight people.

so like? idk. over the past few years my concept of whether it's okay to speculate about a celebrity's sexuality has shifted a little? when i was in high school & recently out of it, i was more firmly against the idea that someone could tell if xyz celebrity wasn't straight, and super firmly believed that the only way you could know was if they said as much in words.

so what changed?

i experienced the world more, and i've learned so much about the lgbt community and about myself.

one of the big turning points for me was kristen stewart; i was never a super huge fan of hers, but i saw posts fairly often speculating that she and alicia cargile were together. not posts by like, news outlets or anything, posts by other wlw who were saying 'i see the way that kstew is dressing and acting and what she & alicia cargile are sharing of their relationship with the public and news articles keep calling them live-in gal-pals etc but that's exactly how i dress and behave and how my relationship with my girlfriend looks and how people treat our relationship when they're refusing to acknowledge the fact that we're lgbt."

also at the time i started seeing a lot of posts that were saying that the speculation was shitty, and for a hot minute i felt awful for seeing and reblogging posts & hoping/believing that they were girlfriends. the next wave of discourse tho was about how it was okay to speculate and hope if you were just an individual who was also lgbt, and how it was only shitty when it was invasive paparazzi and tabloids who had a platform that could actually disrupt her life and put pressure on her to come out. it was about power; one lesbian or bi or pan girl who was hoping a celebrity they looked up to was like them vs a business that doesn't have any investment in this besides to gain money/readership off of a celebrity's potential identity that had every right to keep their silence and privacy? it's two entirely different things.

i also went back to college in 2016, and realized that like. yeah it's shitty when straight people stereotype and assume things about people, but a lot of lgbt people don't want to be perceived as straight and intentionally dress and behave in ways that signal the fact that the're lgbt. i'm not a scholar on any of this; this is all from my lived experience. but i think it might be called flagging? i've seen the word a few times & just googled it & it seems right, even though i haven't read any of the articles for sure.

essentially it's a way of signaling to other lgbt people "hey i'm here and i'm also lgbt" without really having to disclose that info to all the straight people around you as well. and like, heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, you know? a lot of straight people are almost unwilling to pick up on the signals that someone's lgbt.

an example i can think of is like, lgbt people using non-gendered terms to refer to their significant other or any exes around straight people; it's not lying, and it leaves the opportunity for any other lgbt people present to maybe connect with the person who's doing the pronouns dance at a later point in time in a one on one setting.

another example would be like, butch and gender nonconforming wlw making their identity clear in the way they dress and behave? the song ring of keys from the musical fun home is about a young girl seeing a butch lesbian for the first time and going !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even without having the words. it's lgbt people broadcasting their identity for other lgbt people, not for straight people. it doesn't get seen or talked about as much because of that, but that doesn't make it any less real.

so how does this relate back to dnp?

i'm firmly of the opinion that the're like, doing this. they're living their lives without the complete self-censorship they used to have and because of that openness a lot of lgbt ppl see them, we see the ways in which dan and phil are quietly sharing the fact that they're not straight with us, and i think it's okay to accept that for what it is.

like? i genuinely am willing to argue that dan came out in his diss track. you look at that, and you look at him talk about labels in a liveshow (this video genuinely helped me a lot while i was going through the process of finding the right labels for myself) and you look at all of trying to live my truth or the fact that in dan's rebranding video part of the old branding that was going up in flames was gender rolls (i still have a screenshot of that on my phone). it's also in the countless ways he alludes to being attracted to men, and the ways he rejects a lot of the tenants of masculinity that society prescribes in the ways he dresses and presents himself to the world; that's not an inherently lgbt thing to do, but i think it's true that a majority of lgbt ppl experience gender more consciously than straight people do.

i'm not going to lie and say i'm aware of as many specific details in regards to phil that indicate his sexuality-i do know less off the top of my head, but not because i don't love phil, just because dan means more to me personally in regards to my queerness and the ways i navigate my identities. phil also tends to share way less of himself with the internet than dan does? like, we know a lot of specifics about who dan is and who dan has been but despite knowing a lot of fluff about phil, we know less substantial information and that's super fucking valid and i love his double aquarius sagittarius rising enigmatic ass exactly as is. and i know i have things in my he likes boys tag about both of them, including (i think) at least one masterpost about phil.

which like, doesn't even bring us to the fact that i'm so sure they're together, too? it's not even like. things like the vd*y v*d, though that was still findable on tumblr when i joined the phandom in 2012.

i'm sure because i can look at dan and phil in the present, and the ways in which they function in eachother's lives, and the things they've said about their future together-the concept of a forever home, of getting a dog together, the way that when either of them talks about a very old version of themself they talk about having kids & when you combine that with the idea of a forever home you kind of are left with only one implication- i look at all of those things and the ways they compare to my life, as a queer person in a long term committed relationship. and i know. i’m sure about them.

and i could go on. the thing that really gets me is how dan and phil, by all intents and purposes, hit all three sides of sternberg's triangle in his triangular theory of love; they've got the commitment of a shared life and they've talked about their shared future, they've got the intimacy of knowing and supporting each other for nine years and the close knowledge they have of each other is so great in volume that it's been the focus of what, two videos (the friendship test ones) and (spoilers, minorly) a section of ii? and in the way they look at each other, and in a lot of implications we've picked up on over the years, the passion is there, too.

they've fuckin got that good good consummate love, babeY.

they also constantly answer all of each other's bids, as per gottman's research/theories on successful relationships. i'm not gonna get too far into that, but it's what my like a sunflower tag is for.

and gosh, i've gotten rather off topic again. my apologies, b.

i guess the point is that like. as a queer person in a long term relationship, it's really easy for me to look at dan and phil and be sure that they're together. and i don't feel bad, anymore, thinking about that and speculating about it; i think it's ok for lgbt individuals to hope that the people they look up to are like them, and to talk about that hope.

and it would be nice, if dan and phil came out someday. stressful because of the fan reaction, i'm expecting a full meltdown if/when it happens (i'm leaning towards when, i think they want to get married someday).

but for me, i'm already sure. they've already given us so much and they don't owe us anything, we aren't entitled to them disclosing their identities, but i think they've already told us in subtle ways, a hundred times over. so my conscience is clear and my heart is sure, b. i hope yours can be too.

#phan #phandom #den posts #den replies #anon #meta #i have so much more to say about all of this but i tried very hard to keep it consise #*concise #also just in case it needs saying this is so ok to reblog #den thoughts

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mazzystargirl · 5 years

Note

do you have any good book recommendations?

ok sorry this took me so long to answer but i have so much i want to recommend!!! thank you for giving me an opportunity to rant abt books, anon!!!! i also know this is going to be long so i put all my recs under the cut :)

it’s likely if you’re on tumblr that you already know about the main tumblr books (like six of crows or all for the game etc) so i’m not going to waste time telling you that you should read them if you haven’t. you should. they’re good.

here are some lesser known books that i don’t see a ton of fan content for! in no particular order!!!

1. Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore. this is an all around weird (in the best way!!) book tbh. it follows a girl named jane who visits her friend’s house on an island. it’s split into five stories, each one a different genre and based on a choice that jane made. it’s sort of hard to describe, but it’s seriously so brilliant. also jane is a bi girl if you’re into that!

2. The Summer of Jordi Perez by Amy Spalding. this is a lesbian rom-com! it’s about a girl named abby in los angeles who meets another girl (jordi perez) and they fall for each other. ITS SO CUTE UGH it’s full of really awesome friendship and romance that made me feel butterflies in my belly. ugh i love it so much.

3. Dear Rachel Maddow by Adrienne Kisner. this book made me cry a lot. i think it can be a really emotionally heavy book, but it’s also very cathartic to read. it follows a girl, brynn, who’s brother’s died and she is struggling with the aftermath of that. the thing i love about brynn is how much she really cares about everything. she’s my favorite type of heroine, someone who tries so hard and cares so much, but has a lot of trouble expressing it because of sadness and stuff. maybe i’m projecting. also, brynn’s a lesbian. i think you can probably see a theme here. tw//suicide attempt

4. We Are Okay by Nina LaCour. i’m not sure how popular this book is but it’s good, ok. don’t let anyone tell you nina lacour books are boring. it made me cry like hell. it’s about a girl named marin who goes to college across the country from where she lives after her grandfather dies. she isolates herself from everyone in her old life, and it’s such a beautiful story of family and friendship and finding yourself after you think you’re so lost you can never recover.

5. The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth. this book is amazing and not enough people have read it. i know you might have already heard of it but: follows a gay girl named cameron whose parents die and she navigates through being gay is montana in the 90s. highly, highly recommend if you haven’t read it! tw//conversion therapy

6. The Literary Works of Alice Oseman. she has a decent fanbase on this website, but just. read all her books. they’re so amazing. they’re all so realistic and indicative of the millennial/gen z experience in this day and age. highly, highly, highly recommend. her books are probably my favorites of all time!

7. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. i know i said lesser known books, and this book is pretty popular, but ugh. this book. ugh this book is so, so, so good. it’s a must read! it’s about a girl named starr who is the witness to the murder of her friend khalil at the hands of the police. it has a very delicate exploration of relationships between the police and low-income black families. the core of the book is really about family and friendship and being strong in a time of hardship, and it’s very very touching and an extremely good piece of work. also it annoys me that there’s not more fanwork surrounding this book. i can’t draw but i wish i could JUST so i could draw starr and khalil!!! tw//character death

8. Release by Patrick Ness. this book follows a young gay boy, adam, through one day of his life, and it is a WEIRD day. there are some really insane supernatural elements, and it explores adam’s relationship with his friends, his family, his boyfriend, his ex-boyfriend, and more! it’s definitely on the heavier side, too. it’s sweet and sometimes really sad. it’s also such a beautiful book. patrick ness is SUCH a good writer ugh. tw//homophobia and sexual harassment

9. Whatever by S.J. Goslee. this book is SO funny ugh. it’s kind of wild but very cute. it’s about a boy named mike who realizes he’s bisexual! he’s a dumb stoner half the time but he drinks his respecting women and loving his friends juice so you end up adopting him halfway through the book. there are a lot of really awesome friendships and i love mike’s sister a lot too. tw//homophobia and biphobia

10. Evil Librarian by Michelle Knudsen. this book is also Very Funny. it’s about a girl named cynthia who realizes that her librarian is actually a demon from another dimension, and has to save her best friend annie from becoming his bride. it has such an awesome friend dynamic between cyn and annie, and also her two other friends diane and leticia! the romance between cyn and her love interest is also a very healthy and cute relationship that i love. plus the backdrop of musical theatre was also very cute because i love musical theatre lmao! there’s also a sequel and a third book coming out in august that i am Very Excited about!

11. The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken! an actually good apocalypse novel series! a whole thing happens that makes a bunch of kids have superpowers, and they’re sent to basically concentration camps, and they have to overthrow the leader. i love the main character ruby and also love the relationship between her and her friends, zu, chubs, liam, vida, and jude. three books in the series and one book of novellas.

12. Etiquette & Espionage by Gail Carriger. abt a girl named sophronia who goes to finishing school. the school ends up being a school for spies. chaos ensues. i seriously love this story so much. it’s set in a steampunk london, so lots of cool gadgets with the retro coolness of the victorian era. there are highwaymen, but they fly so they’re called flywaymen, and werewolves, and vampires, and a kid named vieve who is seriously such a delight. four books in the series.

13. The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis. this book is so insane. it’s about a girl named alex craft who gets revenge on the asshole who murdered her sister. it’s an examination of rape culture and all the shit that comes with being a girl in high school right now. tw//sexual and physical assault

14. Stranger Than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer. so i didn’t know the author was in glee, i just picked the book up because i thought the cover was cool. and yes, it is not a perfect book. but it is wild. it is crazy. it has a lot of heart. and that’s what matters. it’s funny and just kind of a fun trip to read. the plot kind of feels like fanfiction at times, but you know what. its stranger than that.

i hope you like these books anon!! they’re some that i really enjoyed and now i feel like i want to go back and read them again lmao.

#ask #anon #book recs

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thenickelportrust · 6 years

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Okay but, for the MC waking the RO up in the middle of the night to make sure they actually like-like them. It's double sad/sweet if the MC is asking that because they got back together with their ex and had a nightmare/ are worried about them leaving again.

(In reference to this ask) (url: https://thenickelportrust.tumblr.com/post/174307288149/if-the-mc-wakes-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-and)

Oh god. Oh dang. Oh man anon, oooh dang.You know I gotta.I gotta do it now.Raf:Your eyes snap open, heart thudding in your chest as your eyes turn to the ceiling- it feels like they’re moving fast, like everything is moving at mach speed, yet you know that if anyone were to look on all they’d see are those slow, lethargic movements indicating the precious, delirious moments that come directly after sleep. And delirious is quite the good descriptive as you shift to stare at the ceiling, trying to focus on one thing when your mind seems to have been spread out between so many different questions and focuses. The cold sweat clinging to your back- where am I?- the blood roaring over the crinkle of bedsheets in your ears- what time is it?- the feeling of two heartbeats- when is it?- the one hammering against your own ribcage, and the other one thrumming gently beneath your palm. Your head turns past the ceiling, which seems more and more familiar as your mind catches up to your body, shrugging off those last chains of sleep.You’re home.You’re home with Raf.You feel a breath you didn’t know you were holding release, and for a moment focus on his heart beneath your hand- pressed to his warm chest as if even in your sleep you were searching for some kind of reassurance that he was still there.Maybe you don’t mean to wake him up, you try to think that, at the very least, but some part of you is still thankful when he stirs as you pull yourself closer to him. Some part still wasn’t sure that this was really real, that he’s really… there.“Hey…” His voice is heavy, deeper than usual, sounds drawn out in a sleepy slur. “You still awake?”“Just woke up.” Yours is clear, that wash of brief fear had swept away any dreamy slowness. “Go back to sleep, I’m sorry.”You expect to hear a head hit the pillow again, or feel his breathing even out, or… something along those lines. Instead, you just feel his thumb run tiny circles on the side of your arm, feel the steadiness of his gaze as he continues to stare at the back of your head.“Are you ok?” Worry. There’s always worry, normally you’re able to laugh it off and brush off his worry as unfounded. Normally it is.You don’t turn your head to meet his eyes, you instead bury yourself in his warmth. “Do you like me, Raf?”His thumb stills, fingers instead tightening in a reassuring squeeze, “Of course.” Hesitation, confusion. You try to tell yourself it’s because he doesn’t understand the question since the answer should be obvious. It should be obvious.“Do you love me?”His sitting up forces you out of the warmth you’d established for yourself, but he still doesn’t let go of you, instead, turning your shoulders until you face him. Now, looking at Raf’s face, that worry is clearer than ever. Eyebrows knit together, with a soft frown pulling down at familiar laugh lines dug into the corners of his eyes. “I…” His hands are so tense, they dig into your shoulders but there’s no pain- it’s not strong enough to hurt you- never is. Then, with a deep breath, they seem to relax, his grip loosening just enough to slide up to your cheeks, cupping your face between his palms.

“I love you. I love you more than I describe. I love you so much that even just saying that feels like a cheap imitation of how much it is I really, honestly, do love you. I love you more than… more than anything else.” He tips your head forward to press a kiss to your forehead, whispering against your skin, “And I’m sorry. I’m… so, so, so sorry that I you’ve ever thought I didn’t- that I ever made you think, for even the briefest of moments, that I didn’t love you with everything I have and more.” He lifts away from just a moment, hands still tangled around your hair, “I know I can’t take that back, that I can’t… undo what I did. But I promise that from now on you won’t ever have to doubt- I love you, and if it takes the rest of my life to make sure that you know that then… well, that’s how long it takes.”Lucy:

You slough off the last layers of sleep like a heavy blanket, your mind feels fuzzy and even now you’re not fully sure if you’re awake, and why. Everything seems too slow and lethargic, your muscles don’t belong to you, this body- it doesn’t belong to you. Everything feels like a marionette with strings too long that you’re trying to pull and tug but all they do is shift ever so slightly. The room, too, is unfamiliar for a moment, and confusion mutes the feeling-you-can’t-name-yet that lies beneath your skin, weighing on your tongue and your wet cheeks. Wet? Why are they wet? You manage to manipulate this flesh-and-bone puppet to lift its hand and press it to the cheek, you press your lips together and taste salt. Tears. Crying? Why were you crying?

You dig the heel of your hand into your eyelid and groan slightly as now unwanted memories resurface- a dream- a nightmare- memories. Dammit. You breathe in deeply and shift your body, when you do your hand feels warmer than you were expecting. You shift up, sitting up just enough to peer through the darkness- and see that your arm had inadvertently- or perhaps advertently?- slung itself over Lucy, pulling her closer to you.

Lucy. She’s here. It really was just a dream.

Whatever last bit of doubt still clung by the nails to you tore away with that realization, and a relieved breath escapes you. It may not have been fully fake but at the very least it was a dream of the past and the present is very, very different… Right?

“Hiya,” A hand clasps over yours, your eyes snap over to Lucy’s face, her broad smile made lopsided, dulled by the yawn that stretches over her face. “Seems a little late to be getting up and about, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, sorry.” You snuggle back into the covers, burrowing yourself in Lucy’s hair that’s spread out and wild along the pillow. “I dunno why I’m awake. It’s all good.”

Lucy frowns slightly, turning on her side to sling a hand over your side as well. She traces the side of your cheek with the back of her fingers, over the curve of your ear and down your neck to rest at your shoulder, “I know that tone.”

“Tired?”

“Lying.” You spare a glance to her face- eyebrows knit together in the dark, creases along her forehead, you turn your head into the covers again. “Come on, you can talk to me.”

“It was just a bad dream.”

“About…?”

You. But you couldn’t exactly say that, could you? No. No you could never. Never.

Her hand leaves your shoulder- cold and exposed to that unforgiving night air- and gingerly grasps at your chin to turn it to face her. Lucy’s brows are still knit, but she doesn’t say anything, her eyes dance around your face like she can read the problem in your expression.

Somehow, you think, she does. She drops your chin, lifting herself from the bed to sit up, tugging away from you with her shoulders slumped forward. “It was about us, wasn’t it? About me.”

You roll to your back, pulling the covers up to your face as if that could hide your nod. You feel choked up, hearing it said aloud, and you squeeze your eyes shut for a moment to try and gather back whatever scrap of dignity you can use to glue it all together again. “Like I said…” Your voice still breaks, too much, “Just a stupid dream.”

“Not stupid.” Lucy shrugs, picking at the blanket absently, “No, don’t ever call yourself stupid. Please. I was the one who screwed up, I’m sorry you… You shouldn’t have to suffer for that.”

Her jaw clenches together, “But you do, because of my damned actions.”

“Do you like me, Lucy?” It shakes her from her seething stupor, and Lucy turns to you with wide-eyes.

“Of course I do.”

“Do… do you love me?”

Her jaw stiffens again, her shoulders rising and falling as she inhales through clenched teeth, and then exhales slowly, her entire body relaxing forcibly- even her head hangs as if it’s too heavy for her neck suddenly. When Lucy looks back at you there’s a surprisingly soft smile spread over her lips, and she leans down until her face is directly above yours, her hair trailing down either sides of it and tickling the edge of your cheek. Lucy cups the sides of your face and presses her lips to yours. She doesn’t release your face at first, not until both of you need to break away to breathe, and even then she pressed her head to the crook of your neck gently, smiling against your skin. “I couldn’t think of a way to say just how much,” She whispers, “But if you’re not convinced I’m happy to try again. As many times as is needed.”

#answers #model citizens unmasked #shorts #rafael darzi #lucille pinchette

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tmitransitioning · 6 years

Note

Im the anon who asked the process of getting T prescibed, i live in the US, specifically west coast

Thank you for that—I’m going to write out a list here, but there are a few options you might have, so bear with me if it gets a bit convoluted!

I also strongly encourage followers to chime in in the notes on this post if I messed anything up; my experience with healthcare is all Canadian, and while I’m fact checking as I write it’s also possible I might miss things.

Also after I wrote this I realized it was incredibly wordy so I’m going to put it under a cut. There will be a TL;DR at the end.

First, if you have a GP or primary doctor, check their clinic website to see if they do HRT care. If they do, that’s great, and all you may have to do is talk to your doctor about how to access that; they will walk you through the particulars.

If you don’t, or if your doctor’s clinic doesn’t do HRT, you have a couple different options:

You can ask your doctor if they know where to refer you to; they may know trans care clinics or endocrinologists that take trans patients.

You can see if there’s a Planned Parenthood in your area that offers HRT on an informed-consent model; many places on the west coast do this. They usually require you to be over 18 in order to consent without a guardian present.

You can check local universities or health centres yourself to see if you can find a clinic that does trans healthcare. Googling “[local major university] trans clinic” often is a good way to discover this, and they may have resource guides with provider names.

For the latter two options, start with their website to gather information and then call their front desk and lay out specifically what you’re looking for—the message I left was, paraphrased:

“Hi, my name is [legal name] and I read on your website that you do hormone replacement therapy for trans people. It also said to set up an appointment for more information, so, can I set one of those up over the phone or should I come in person? I live in [city], and my PHN [Canadian personal health number, may be different for you] is [redacted], my name again is [full legal name], last name is spelled [data expunged], and my phone number is [double redacted]. Alternately, my email is [triple redacted]. Thank you, and have a good day!”

It’s okay to say your preferred first name too, but I personally used my legal name so that they could look me up in the provincial medical system.

The individual clinic might vary, but in my experience most places ask you to cold call them, which is very intimidating. Having a script helps. You want to make it clear what you’re looking for, ask how to set up an appointment, and give clear contact info. If they don’t get back to you in like... two weeks or so, then call again and try to get a live person rather than an answering machine.

Some places (Planned Parenthood especially) might offer online appointment booking, which is also cool!

When you’ve made the appointment, show up with these questions in mind:

Does the provider require a therapist letter?

Informed-consent models usually don’t, many doctors still do.

This is a letter from a psych professional (usually a psychologist or psychiatrist, not a counsellor) that says you have gender dysphoria for which the indicated ‘treatment’ is HRT, and that any of your mental health conditions are well-controlled and don’t make you legally unable to consent to treatment.

This is partially a gatekeeping holdover, and partially because, in the States, “gender dysphoria” is a medically formal diagnosis that allows you to have controlled substances prescribed.

Does the provider take your insurance?

Bring your insurance info to the appointment if you have it.

Do you have to do anything in particular to get T covered (like a special authority letter, I’m not sure what the US equivalent is), and what are the expected costs of various forms?

What kind of lab work do you have to have done?

The vast majority of the time, you will have blood drawn, where they will check things like: cholesterol, red blood cell count, your “baseline” testosterone levels, ALT (liver function marker), blood sugar, and infection/inflammation markers.

You will probably be asked to fast for 8-12 hours before the blood draw if your blood sugar is being tested.

Some clinics can do same-day labwork; this might be a good thing to ask on the phone if you get a call back to set up an appointment.

What forms of T are easiest and cheapest to access where you are?

Your doctor prescribes this a lot if they do trans care, so they’re likely to know this.

The answer will probably be injections, but if you have a strong preference for something like gel instead (needle phobia, maybe?) then you can ask about how much that usually costs.

Costco and Walmart pharmacies are often the cheapest.

Where you go from that first appointment depends a lot on what kind of clinic you access.

Many informed consent clinics can do all the labwork etc on the same day that you walk in. This isn’t universal, but allows many people to access HRT quickly, assuming they don’t have health conditions that would need additional monitoring, analysis, or treatment.

If you need a therapist letter, and you don’t already have a therapist, the doctor you see will probably be able to refer you to one who’s trans-competent.

If you do have a therapist, they might be able to write the letter, and if they can’t then they probably can refer you to someone who can.

Some doctors or clinics have specific procedures they follow.

For example, the clinic I went to was all-in-one and worked on an interesting combination of informed consent and diagnosis.

I had three appointments—the first one talked about my dysphoria history and psych diagnoses, the second was a physical and analyzing the results of my bloodwork, and the third was signing consent forms and walking out with a prescription.

This is becoming an increasingly common model, with GPs performing the “gender dysphoria” diagnosis themselves rather than requiring a therapist’s letter. It isn’t universal, but you may encounter it.

If you have a health condition like liver damage or polycythemia that would be affected by HRT, your doctor will give you specific information on how to treat that, and may require it to be controlled or ameliorated before you start.

A nurse at the care clinic may be able to show you how to administer a shot if you go with injection methods. If not, there are lots of youtube tutorials, or you can write to us.

The common outline of events looks like this:

Set up appointment

First/intake appointment

Bloodwork

Followup appointments; “gender dysphoria” diagnosis

Consent forms

Prescription

Or, if you need a psych:

Set up appointment

First/intake appointment

Therapist’s letter for “gender dysphoria” diagnosis

Bloodwork

Followup appointments

Consent forms

Prescription

Or, if you go to an informed consent clinic that does everything the same day:

Set up appointment

Meet with doctor who will:

Draw your blood and run bloodwork in the clinic’s lab

Ask you questions about your psychiatric and medical history

“Gender dysphoria” diagnosis

Prescription

The psychiatric questions you’ll probably be asked are, among others:

What labels and pronouns do you use?

When did you start identifying as trans?

What was your experience of gender like as a child? How did it change and develop as you grew?

Did you play with children of the “opposite” gender?

How did you dress? Did you pick your own clothes?

Did you insist on being not your birth assignment to adults?

Were you a “tomboy”/”sissy”/some other gendered or pejorative term atypical for your assigned gender? Were you singled out or harassed based on your gender nonconformance or behaviours?

When you went through first puberty, how did you feel about your body changing?

Were you most upset about primary or secondary characteristics? Which ones?

How did you feel about your voice/chest/genitals/body shape?

What have you done to hide or change them (affected voice, binding, tucking, etc.)? How long have you been doing that?

What changes do you want from HRT? How will those changes make you feel better in your body and/or affirm your experienced gender?

How has your dysphoria impacted you socially? How would HRT change that impact?

What psych diagnoses do you have?

How long have you had them?

What are you doing to treat or control them (medication, therapy, mindfulness, etc.)?

You may also be asked to rate things like anxiety or depression on paper inventories/scales.

Whether or not a psychiatric examination will focus on you as an adult or as a child is entirely a tossup on the provider’s part. Many doctors now acknowledge that not every trans person experiences identifiable dysphoria in childhood (ex. I didn’t know what nonbinary was until I was like 15, and it wasn’t an issue).

Don’t downplay your experiences. There’s an urge for a lot of people to do that, to act like oh it wasn’t That Bad, out of a reflex where we’ve been told to conceal pain or distress. It’s important that you give space and acknowledgement to how important your experiences are; you are there specifically to get help for something that majorly impacts you, so tell them about it. They’re not going to think you’re weak for it, they’re going to see it as a reason to prescribe you hormones.

Tl;DR:

Call the most accessible trans care provider for you and ask how to access their HRT services. When you’ve made the appointment, come prepared with a few questions, and find out if you need any extra documentation like a therapist’s letter. You will be given both a medical and psychiatric examination or interview, and they’ll take your blood for testing. Your provider will have you sign consent forms showing that you’re aware of the effects and risks of HRT, and will probably be able to give you insurance information on how to get hormones covered.

- Mod Wolf

#hrt #starting #walkthrough #mod wolf

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