#(because he’s 19) and also fundamentally he actually knows what he’s doing. he’s worked there for like 9 months

[fingertipsmp3]

SOS two of my coworkers swapped shifts and now I’m worried tomorrow is going to be awkward and bad

[artist-issues]

every now and then I play with the exercise of "what if we're wrong" because sometimes I get bored and also as an actual exercise. I usually apply this to Christianity/religion, matters of the after life, or about other people.

So sometimes I poke at the big question, if Christianity isn't real, what does that mean? And I don't usually go the route of atheism or bad sci fi, just that the religion is proven to be fundamentally inaccurate to reality, so what does that mean?

Anyway it wasn't until I was reading a really good sci fi story, where this one dude explains to some aliens the concept of "Love your enemies, do good to those that hurt you" and of course the aliens are like what? (Because in the sci fi narrative the universe is functioning under a Dark Forest Theory) And the dude explains its from one of earth's greatest teachers. And the aliens are like, if the inhabitants of the universe could believe that, this universe would be a different place entirely.

And it was at that point where I realized bro... even if it's not accurate, practicing Christianity is still worth it, for a human being. Loving your enemies means loving them like humans. The Poor, the Meek, and those who mourn, those are promises and comforts that we shouldn't toss aside even if heaven isn't real.

I don't know, this is just a terribly simplistic because I'm not the best at putting my English thoughts into english out loud, but that crack gave me a touch of useful coping. I asked my dad, if aliens are proven to exist it doesn't automatically mean christians stop practicing and believing, right? And he said obviously not.

I don't know but have you ever engaged in such a question " what if we're wrong?" And if you ever have what answer had you arrived at?

EDIT: As @atwas-meme-ing correctly pointed out in the comments section of this post, who cares whether or not I’ve played this game: God answered the question through Paul in his letter to the Corinthians: “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” 1 Corinthians 5:19.

There’s no “good moral teaching” to be found in Christianity if Christ wasn’t God, or if God didn’t exist, or if eternity weren’t real. My rambling logic is below the cut.

I mean, I play that “game” all the time about other things, and sometimes I do it for work. I’ll take two established characters and a setting me and my friends have agreed on, and I’ll “run a scenario.”

But the thing is, once my brain picks out something that doesn’t make sense, or that wouldn’t be in-character for the characters to do, the whole scenario grinds to a halt and I have to start over. I can’t suspend my own disbelief once I notice that something doesn’t line up. Even if I really liked “where the scene was going” before I noticed that thing. Whatever I’m getting stuck on because of it’s out-of-character nature unravels the parts I like, too.

All that to say I can’t even run a scenario in my head where “what if all this isn’t true? What if it fundamentally doesn’t line up with reality?”

I can’t. Once or twice I have tried. But I hit snags immediately. I’ll go, “pretend all of this Christian religion really is just a centuries-old conspiracy humanity’s been patching up the holes in.”

But then that little simulation-checker in my brain goes, “then how do you explain people dying for it? That many martyrs aren’t likely to have allowed themselves to be tortured and murdered for something they knew was a conspiracy.”

And I go, “well, pretend they died because they didn’t know it was a conspiracy, they believed it.”

And the sim-checker goes, “but the original disciples of Jesus, ground-zero of the faith, were all martyred. Not just people who learned from them and came after them and could’ve been hoodwinked: the starting points, themselves. They would’ve had to know it was a conspiracy, if it was a conspiracy, and they still willingly died for it.”

Maybe I’ll pivot and go, “pretend there isn’t objective truth.”

And the sim-checker goes, “there isn’t truth…objectively?”

Maybe I’ll pivot again and try, “pretend that everyone really does just measure morality based on what they’re used to, what their individual society’s trained them to associate with pleasant feelings and reactions.”

And the sim-checker goes, “Okay, where did those societies get the training manual? Where did it come from? Why do so many different societies’ and people groups’ ‘association with pleasant feelings and reactions’ around the world have so many things in common?”

And the answers to all that leads me back to Christianity. Even if I go the longest way round I can think of.

And eventually I quit running those scenarios. Because guess what?

Where’d the ability to run scenarios come from?

How did I get that? How did you?

See, the thing is, we go, “what if all of this isn’t true?” But it’s right there in the question. “Where did you get that desire? The desire for “truth?”” Is it to keep yourself safe, like the natural animals have an instinct toward, or is it to keep yourself sane, because you need some sense in this life to make it through? Sure. Maybe. But why? What’s “sane?” What’s “safe?” Sanity presupposes order. Why do you, and all humans, naturally lean toward wanting things to be “the way they’re supposed to be?” Where’d that come from, that idea of “supposed to be?” And Safety presupposes good being found in avoiding pain and damage and fear. “Good?” Where’d you get that idea?”

The further you dig, even into your own psyche, the less you can run any scenario that has God absent entirely. And no wonder. He designed it.

One more thing.

“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.” - C.S. Lewis

I used to lean into the idea you’re saying here. “Even if it’s not true, I’m going to live like it is and believe it just in case. Besides, it makes me better, and makes the world better.” That’s not belief at all. That’s ends-justify-the-means thinking. The teachings that Jesus gave which “make the world a better place” are utterly worthless if they’re coming out of the mouth of a liar. Because why should anyone believe Him? Why should anyone “turn the other cheek,” or “do unto others?” Because it makes us “better?” Who gets to define “better?”

The answer, of course, is Jesus does. The One who taught those sayings. But only if He’s God. Only if He was telling the truth. If He wasn’t God, what right has He, to tell us to give away our possessions to others and let them abuse us and give our lives up? If He was a liar, all of those “good teachings” would be tainted and untrustworthy. Besides, like I just said, they’re all only able to be called “good” teachings if you accept that there is one objective, universal “good.” And we’re right back to “where did Good come from?”

All roads lead back there, to Him. But we humans like to do this thing with God where we pretend there could be any reality outside of Him. It sort of makes sense, how we got that way. After all, when was the last time you noticed oxygen? How often during the day do you consciously inhale and exhale? As often as it happens automatically? How often during the day do you notice oxygen touching your skin or moving your hair or drying your eyeballs? As often as those things happen automatically? No. But it’s ever-present. Without it, you couldn’t live, let alone notice anything. But oxygen has always been around and everything in our lives interacts with or can only exist WITH it. God is much more than that, but that’s as close as I can get to communicating: He’s so good, and He’s so constantly there, everything, all the time, that it’s easy for us to take Him for granted, forget Him entirely, then use our two-pound brain matter to say, “He might not exist.” You might as well say, “imagine a world with no matter.” 🙄 “Ohhhh kay. Then it wouldn’t be a world.”

[sparxaf]

TSIME: Meet Bobby's Crew (part 2)

So we met the Russo-Bells, who apparently look nothing like how @longbobmckenzie imagined. So, I'm here to ruin your day again, with some more of Bobby's inner circle 😆

Meet Maitland (my favorite):

Interesting facts:

🗸 Grew up in an extremely happy, functional family that swore a lot. Has several siblings. Is especially close to her mam, who is a chain-smoking factory worker.

🗸 Smoker.

🗸 Is a bit of a musical genius. She plays the drums, bass guitar, piano, violin, and has a singing voice best described as, Annie Lennox after a shot of whiskey and a couple cigarettes.

🗸 Briefly attended the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland but dropped out after less than a semester. "Why'd I quit? Cuz, everyone has their heads up their arses, smellin' their own fuckin' farts, that's why."

🗸 She met Nivaan at RCS and they ended up friends. They have a shared love of old school punk music, so they started Paisley Cuddle together.

🗸 Never been in a relationship.

🗸 Had sex twice. Didn't care for it.

🗸 Makes extra money doing gig/session work, but the job she actually likes is teaching music classes for a local music shop. She's a very popular, sought-after instructor, especially for drums, as she's entertaining and foul-mouthed, but also surprisingly patient with the kids.

🗸 Has a fundamental disdain for labels of all kinds, and would never label herself as NB or demi-anything, despite likely being both. "Call me whatever you want. You don't need ta' know my fuckin' business, you arsebadger."

🗸 Once dreamed of being a football hooligan.

🗸 Secretly loves Hannah Montana. "What? No, not Miley, you fuckin' tube. Hannah. Montana. It's different. And if you wanna keep yer teeth, you won't be tellin' anyone."

Meet Jonno:

Interesting facts:

🗸 Was an abrasive and lonely child. He literally saw Bobby and said, "You're my best friend now." And Bobby just rolled with it.

🗸 Allegedly has the ability to be funny, though no one but Bobby claims to have seen it happen.

🗸 A bit of a shapeshifter. Worked in the hospital because Bobby did. Baked because Bobby did. Would never admit to anyone (not even himself) that Bobby is his hero.

🗸 Somehow manages to get tons of one-night stands. But there are ZERO repeat customers.

🗸 Despite being a pig, Jonno understands and respects consent. Because when he was 19, he he grabbed Maitland's arse at a pub, and still has the x-ray of his broken nose to prove it. Knowledge unlocked.

🗸 His mam bailed when he was four. He hasn't seen her since. He was raised by his dad (and his dad's long-term girlfriend who didn't like him very much). Has one older half-brother who bullied him pretty badly as a kid.

🗸 Besides being able to fart Scotland's national anthem, his only other notable skill is fixing up and reselling antiques. He has an eye for what can be spruced up. So he spends a lot of his free time sanding and staining old furniture and fixing lamps that don't switch on anymore. Then he sells them at flea markets and makes a tidy profit.

Meet Fenella:

Interesting facts:

🗸 Parents are incredibly wealthy. She is the youngest of three.

🗸 Was a competitive highland dancer as a kid. Is very embarassed about it.

🗸 Parents wanted her to go to university but she felt it was bourgeoisie and refused. So they made her get a job and she was pretty upset about it. So she used this as an opportuity to live as someone who wasn't rich and did this for years, working minimum wage jobs, living under bridges sometimes, and never telling anyone about her family.

🗸 Despite her distaste for the bourgeoisie, she made sure to return home when she was twenty to get her trust fund. Then she spent the whole thing on a coffee shop that she has absolutely no idea how to manage. She's done well because she had plenty of starting capital and actually does serve great coffee, but her trust fund is basically gone now, so she has no safety net and no idea how to budget.

🗸 Took a class on auras once, so she's pretty much an expert now.

🗸 Has been dating someone called Marti for many years. Marti is in a folk band and makes macrame. They were browbeat into veganism by Fen, but they secretly love bacon and eat it whenever Fenella isn't around.

🗸 The two have an open relationship, but that doesn't stop Fen from getting "choked by the ties of the pair bond," and breaking up with Marti every six months or so.

🗸 Very sensitive to criticism and has a strong fear of being disliked.

🗸 Donates coffee and tea to the Homeless Project Scotland, as well as to women's shelters, and several charitable organizations in her area. She also does volunteer work for HPS. She knows the names of many of the local homeless folx and once a week, she invites them to come for free baked goods and coffee.

Meet Nivaan:

Interesting facts:

🗸 Wealthy family. Born in Bangalore. Family moved to Scotland when he was six years old. His father, previously a holistic physician, was a stay-at-home dad. His mum is a highly-regarded physicist.

🗸 He has six sisters. He is the baby and the only boy in the entire expanded family. His uncles and aunts all have girls. So he was surrounded by women growing up and has an amazing rappaport with them.

🗸 Loves old school punk music.

🗸 Going back hundreds of years, no one in his family has ever eaten meat.

🗸 He graduated from the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland with an MA in Musical Theater. But his theater career never really took off.

🗸 Talented guitarist and singer. Can dance his ass off. Makes a healthy income from TikTok thirst traps, much to his mother's dismay and his father's amusement.

🗸 Sings four octives. Has a resonant bass voice with an impressively clear, ringing falsetto. Think Avi Kaplan [previously of Pentatonix].

🗸 Met Maitland at RCS. One night they took a heroic dose of shrooms while listening to Hüsker Dü, and decided to start a punk band. The next morning , they stumbled up off the floor where they'd slept sprawled on top of a broken guitar for some reason, and found a note on his kitchen counter that read, "Paisley fookin' cuddle, wankstains!" in Maitland's scrawling handwriting. Neither of them can quite remember what the hell it meant, but they decided Paisley Cuddle was as good of a name as any for a punk band.

Meet Samantha:

Interesting facts:

🗸 Born in the highlands. Parents are traveling folk musicians. Moved around a lot as a young child. Home educated. Never went to traditional school.

🗸 Has an older brother with a relatively successful career making avante-gard pop folk. No one knows what that is, but dammit, they're all proud.

🗸 Loves gardening. Started a garden when she was ten years old and in just a year was growing all of the vegetables for her family.

🗸 Has published four popular and successful poetry books under a pen name.

🗸 Has a tattoo of a turnip crossed with an ink pen on her ribs.

🗸 Likes working lots of different kinds of jobs so she's never bored.

🗸 Has seen films, but has never watched television and doesn't own a tv.

🗸 Once went a whole month without weed. She's still recovering from the trauma.

Stay tuned for part 3 to meet Bobby's family!

#litg fanfic#litg bobby#bobby mckenzie#litg tsime#tsime#character introduction#character creation#litg the sun in my eyes

[vacantgodling]

1. What’s their love languages? and 19. How do they silently/subtly express their love for each other? for any of your oc ships :)

hello!! thank you for asking 💛 i’ll do this for amon and hya bc i miss these assholes

1. what’s their love languages?

this is so complicated only because having a love language implies that either of them are Direct about showing affection towards one another and that’s a trip LMAO.

if i had to pick: amon is probably, truly, acts of service. which makes him being a butler to hya doubly revealing, but the fact of the matter is—when he cares about someone he wants to CARE for them yknow what i mean. it’s the way that he can be honest with what he does even if he’ll lie in your face because he has to. his whole reasoning for being at the chateau in the first place is an “act of service” for everyone he cares about in the slums, like my guy just does shit for people because he loves them.

for hya it’s physical touch. in a similar vein, he can only be honest with his body (which is why these dumbasses work At All), and he doesn’t let ANYONEEEE touch him. fascinating then, that the one person he lets touch him is the one person he cares about more than anything. this honestly and especially applies to their sex life (because sex is how they come to start caring about one another) — like when i tell you hya has Zero interest in getting it on outside of amon i mean that shit So Hard actually. their dom/sub bdsm shit is just a complex way of both of them showing the other they care without admitting it aloud because they probably won’t ever lbr.

19. how do they silently and subtly express their love for each other?

dude that’s All their actual love language is. just silently showing each other they’re in love that they care. hya pays attention to amon and that’s literally the biggest act of affection for him. he’s a super vain and self centred person, so remembering which coffee or cigs amon likes, his measurements, actually listening to his advice and taking him seriously (most of the time even if he won’t admit it) — he’ll VALUING amon’s input at all… it all shows he’s fucking smitten it’s disgusting 💛

amon mainly loves to bother hya and he’s extremely fixated on him. in the complete opposite to him, he’s had a lot of physical relationships and is more personable, but no one really holds his attention bc they’re all “means to an end” for him. but hya fascinates him. similarly, he’ll remember things about hya, but he also is just. always seeking him out. he’ll go looking for hya, he wants to be next to him, be around him, is always standing closer than he needs to like a clingy dog. amon is also much wordier than hya and talkative, so he tends to disguise a lot of his care as teases because he fundamentally gets how hya works and meets where he is. he can’t outright say hey i care about you, but he can tease him about being heavy so he can prompt hya to leave a traumatic situation he just witnessed. he knows hya’s going out of his way to verbalize so he jokes with him but the underlying meaning is always, i see you, i understand you and that’s love baybeee

[roach-works]

I posted 4,703 times in 2022

112 posts created (2%)

4,591 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pavlovs-pigeon

@salmonking

@astercrash

@rockpapertheodore

@leagueofaveragefolk

I tagged 1,513 of my posts in 2022

#art - 161 posts

#writing - 76 posts

#poetry - 44 posts

#boat boys - 33 posts

#reference - 28 posts

#fashion - 25 posts

#incredible - 21 posts

#music - 19 posts

#yes - 17 posts

#long post - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 116 characters

#and also 'i will spend all of recess figuring out how to obtain a walnut on the other side of this chain link fence'

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

are new people really joining tumblr or not? it's simple. it would be very funny if new people joined tumblr and sucked at it. it would also be very funny if no one was joining tumblr and people were just telling increasingly ridiculous lies. therefore i firmly believe both situations are true.

13,128 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

#4

new heresy that makes the bible way funnier:

god genuinely had no idea that people would be able to disobey him, when he made them. angels couldn’t! everything in the universe was just an extension or a reflection of god himself, operating in perfect mechanical order. then he put a spark of his own creative consciousness in an animal and it turned out it could disobey him.

like, that’s why he told adam and eve not to access a perfectly accessible tree. nothing else in the universe up until that point would have done something he told them not to.

that’s why he asks cain a perfectly ridiculous question, given that he would have watched the murder happen right in front of him: where is your brother? what did you do to him? he didn’t know cain could lie. even when adam and eve disobeyed him, surprising absolutely everyone involved, they hadn’t figured out lying yet. cain figured out lying.

that’s why god decides to destroy humans and start over only a few centuries later. he has no idea what to do. not only are people disobeying and lying to him, they’ve started completely ignoring him, too. he can control the wind, the water, the plants, the animals, the angels, the heavens, the earth. but he cut a part of himself loose and gave it to this totally unique new critter and now he can’t get it back. he can’t make anyone do anything, and now they know it. he had to carve humanity back down to the one family that actually, for whatever reason, still listened to him, and he had to ride them pretty fucking hard from that point onward to make sure they didn’t just..... stop. because at any point basically any human, ever, even the ones who liked him, could just randomly decide to fuck off and do their own thing.

then like, according to christians, god thought maybe he could get a handle on whatever the fuck was going on with how bad humans were being by making another human who had even more god in him than all the other humans, and that didn’t work either. and also even jesus himself didn’t know what humans were going to do next, which was kill him young. like, god had to break the news to him based on an educated guess, and it was a big surprise to him! he was really upset! there’s a whole scene!

like, i think this is hands down the funniest fucking thing to conclude about god ever. he didn’t know it was going to turn out like this when he started and he didn’t know what to do when it did. he’s been basically scrambling to stay on top of the situation for six thousand years and he’s totally beefed it repeatedly.

god the omnipotent lord of creation knows everything, except what you’re going to do next. god the supreme ruler of the universe can do anything, except stop you. you have a little piece of god inside you and it lets you defy the most fundamental machinery of existence basically whenever you like.

if that’s not funny, i don’t know what is.

13,345 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

#3

so here’s something i never figured out when i first read the sandman comics as a teenage girl, but which consuming the netflix show as a grown man is making extremely clear:

why the Corinthian is like that.

and it’s brilliant! it’s really cool. so in a series absolutely crammed full of very realistic queer representation-- lesbians and bisexuals and trans people of all kinds!-- you have morpheus stating outright that nightmares are meant to teach and challenge dreamers, by bringing subconscious fears to light, where they can be faced and overcome.

and the Corinthian has mouths for eyes. he devours eyes. he eats what people use to look at him like that, and what he used to look at people consumes them.

and he’s gay, he is a creature made by and for gay men, by personal preference all his victims are gay men, and being gay can be fucking terrifying. his eyes are mouths that eat those eyes that don’t look away from him in time, because he is the absolute mortal terror of knowing that the gender you’re attracted to--your own gender!--is extremely likely to kill you for looking at them. decades, centuries, of men looking at men and knowing this could kill them. eyes meeting eyes and wondering if this ends with the man you can’t stop looking at coming and kissing you or coming and killing you. in the eighties there was AIDS and there were more queers than ever coming out and saying ‘no, we’re here, look at us, we’re dying, look at us, we’re alive anyway, look at us.’

you’re gay in a world where that’s not okay. do you close your eyes? do you pull them out? you like to look at men. you can’t stop looking at men. you love them and they scare the hell out of you. some of them might love you. some of them will kill you. you keep looking. who’s looking back at you? can you survive it?

the Corinthian is that nightmare. and he’s perfect.

14,106 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

#2

writing is so hard i want to be praised for all my most clever lines right now

28,999 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

listen. aging into your thirties rocks. yes your joints get a little creaky. yes you can’t sleep in a pretzel on the floor anymore after a concert or a convention. and you lose some friends. but the thing is that you sort out who your real friends are and you sort out who you really are. and you get to see your friends settling into careers they like, and adopt new dogs and cats, and you find a job you can stand, and get really good at arts and crafts, and maybe that book you loved as a kid gets a movie deal and it doesn’t suck, and you learn to like new food and bake your own bread, and you realize that the great portfolio of self harm scars you all used to curate are going white with age and not updated, and half your friends are a different gender now and so much happier and maybe you are too, and you know who you are, and that it’s a journey and not a revelation. it’s a direction you’re headed, and you’re enjoying the trip.

reaching your 30′s rocks. and i’m hearing good things about what comes next, too.

61,736 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[deusluxuria]

some random headcanons about pucci because i aaaaaa:

(warnings: christianity, child abuse, brief NSFW subjects)

Has a limp because of his foot, and uses a cane to walk. The cane is very fancy and looks like it could be Versace or some shit, but he actually made it himself.

Dio is more of a father figure to him than anything else. This was part of why he became so attached to Dio in the first place; he had been neglected by his parents and didn't really realize it yet. Dio, in turn, sees him as his surrogate child.

Developed PTSD and a stutter around age 19. He also ran away from home at that age, after breaking his father's nose, smacking him in the face with the heavy bible he was supposed to be studying from. He lived with various depraved people after that, until Dio found him and convinced him to go back home, despite Enrico begging to live with him. Dio explained that the two of them had similar childhoods, and tried to convince Enrico to murder his father so that Enrico's mother wouldn't incur the same fate as Dio's mother. Enrico planned it, but ultimately found he didn't have the courage.

He has DIY stick-and-poke tattoos in places that other people usually don't see (i.e. upper thigh, chest, abdomen). Though, he usually dresses to cover most of his body anyway, and people would still rarely see them even if he had some on his arms or lower legs. A few of them are:

-The logo for "A Band Called Death," a punk band, on the left side of his chest.

-Tori Amos, the musician, on his inner left arm.

-"I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF TO YOU" in loud, angry letters on his right inner thigh, upside-down.

He was originally born in New Orleans. His parents moved to Florida when he was 6. He was extremely sheltered as a child and a young teenager, so he never really spoke to anyone else other than his parents, and thus maintained most of the accent. Wes and Perla only have a slight remnant of the dialect, but otherwise, people can't really tell where they're originally from.

Does a bit of everything in the arts. Drawing, painting, sculpting, singing, piano...

Before Dio's conquest for heaven started to possess Enrico's personality, his priesthood was largely a way for him to heal in others what he himself suffered from as a result of his childhood and adolescence. He became a prison chaplain not only to get away from his father's church, but to put his work where he believed it would do the most good.

As a prison chaplain (again, before Dio's interference), he had a mindset where he believed absolutely everyone has at least some good in them, no matter what. He would listen and extend compassion to anyone, no matter what they had done or been imprisoned for. He thought of that as one of the most fundamental parts of his job. He could go home at night and lay awake haunted by the crimes of those same prisoners, but he would still go to work the next day to hold their hands and tell them they're heard.

Almost never smiles or laughs, or is even in the mood to. The first time Dio saw him laugh, he was actually a bit stunned, and would say "it was like seeing the sun break through the clouds for the first time in over a hundred years."

He's known he was queer ever since his time being sheltered as a kid, but he didn't specifically realize he was gay until he ran off at 19.

When he ran away, he went to do "everything that would horrify his father," but none of it was in any safe way whatsoever. Unprotected sex, shared needles, living with terrible people, mixing drugs and alcohol, etc. Being very repressed and uninformed because of his parents' beliefs, he didn't know the extent of the risks -- not that he would have cared at the time.

Becoming a prison chaplain instead of remaining a clerical figure at his father's church probably saved him a great deal from the wrath of the Christian community in his parents' town, considering he has always been incredibly rebellious for a "Catholic" priest.

[evilyunia]

Sarkontil’s turn! 4, 19, 30

Fuck yea, it's Sarkontil time! Than you for sending a questions!

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

It's really hard to tell maybe because Sarkontil lived a very long life, but i think exact thing that changed him is slowly realising the way his parents lived sucked. You see Sarkontil originally was from family of abyssal tiefling merchants. They weren't a slaves (which is rare and pretty lucky for tieflings born into Abyss) and sold various stuff mostly for mortal tourists in Graz'zt realm. But both his mother and father lived in constant fear among demons and half-fiends either afraid of being enslaved or eaten by more powerful inhabitants either their business and possessions being randomly taken away. Or perhaps both. Even though Zelatar protects merchants it is still the Abyss after all.

Seeing their lives as pathetic and weak Sarkontil realise that he will do anything to be the one who will be feared, not the one who fears.

This is why first thing Sarkontil decided to do turning adult is to say "fuck you", run away to mortal realm becoming the most devoted Graz'zt worshipper and seduce people from Toril into cult. Which were successful to say the least considering he was later chosen by demon prince himself.

Sarkontil doesn't hide his mortal past but he won't tell anything besides the fact he runned a cult and was good at it.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Biggest relationship flaw of Sarkontil is simply of him seeing everyone around as a tools and not living beings. And the most scary thing is him actually being good and knowledgeable about how people and their emotions work so he can manipulate the fuck out everyone around. For Sarkontil playing a role of affectionate partner or close friend is just a funny little thing he enjoys to do from time to time. But when time comes he will not hesitate to sabotage his own relationships and it's a good thing if you came out of his partnership being alive (and if you alive it's good if your death weren't slow and painful).

And it's always especially bad for Sarkontil's lovers. Level of his affection is equal to level of cruelty, the more he loves someone the more he temped to do a horrific things to them. And when Sarkontil gets bored of relationships with someone they quickly become dead. The way he loves to see beauty in pain also doesn't help at all.

Notably abyssal life essence Sarkontil gave to Ranrys were taken from his previous partner.

Also fun fact: after becoming a Graz'zt chosen and then transforming into full demon Sarkontil still was a servant and a lover of more powerful noble succubus/incubus named Zurantar. Sarkontil killed them, took their possessions and powers, used their skull and other bones as a jewellery for his two handed battle axe which he also named after.

So yeah the only one beloved material thing of Sarkontil is his battle axe named after his dead famous first demonic ex.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

What is more disgusting for Sarkontil than a devil?

A devil who is also ex celestial being!

The thoughts only about Order and the way devils live makes Sarkontil want to throw up immediately. Even though he don't care less about celestial beings (except when he finds some captive aasimars brought into Abyss pretty) the idea of devil with celestial background is the most infuriating and offensive thing to him imaginable. Also Sarkontil fights from time to time as a general in Avernus so his beef with Zariel is kinda obvious.

And as a noble from Zelatar he hates uglinnes even though his idea of beauty is interesting to say the least.

[effervescible]

I posted 4,746 times in 2022

That's 3,876 more posts than 2021!

22 posts created (0%)

4,724 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@vivi-mire

@waffilicious

@ahollowyear

@dying-offeels

@kawree

I tagged 4,730 of my posts in 2022

#kh - 1,262 posts

#funny - 309 posts

#laugh rule - 259 posts

#tumblr - 255 posts

#comics - 249 posts

#roxas - 206 posts

#cats - 195 posts

#asscreed - 186 posts

#sora - 174 posts

#fandom - 94 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#this forced me to have to explain why sora didn't at least recognize the name even if he didn't make the connection between the organization

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

waiting for ubisoft to maybe-announce an Assassin’s Creed (1) remaster at their September event like it’s actually going to happen. I’m just a clown in a hood.

69 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

#4

Old Man Ephemer enjoying time with his family, still missing the friends he once had to leave behind (or who left him behind), but absolutely covered in his many adorable grandkids who he loves very much and who love to hear tales of his youthful Keyblade adventures, reblog if you agree

80 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

#3

sometimes I remember that Jiminy Cricket actually, canonically gave Aqua and Ventus Gummi phones with in-universe “summaries of everything that's happened so far” and I desperately want to know wtf THAT was like for them

114 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#2

This is way too broad to be useful, but pick one underdiscussed or underappreciated aspect of KH and sell me on it.

Dammit GG this is actually kinda hard! But if I had to pick, it's probably the sheer earnestness of it. It's not only an aspect I appreciate a lot, imo it's the ONLY thing that makes the series work.

Like yeah, KH1 is very earnest in that tween adventure, wholesome coming-of-age adventure sort of way that's not unusual for that kind of story, but it persists well after the plot goes turbo anime nonsense. It doesn't take itself overly serious in the sense that it purports to be an Important Take On The Human Condition but even when it flirts with the fourth wall, not ONCE does it try to back off from the stuff it is trying to talk about.

We've all been there, right? Had that indefinable-but-undeniably-there moment when a canon kind of winks at us and chuckles and lets us know it understands how fundamentally silly its premise is, that it's not actually cringey because we're all in on the joke together? At this particular moment in space-time, I could not come up with a specific example to save my life but I also KNOW that KH stands out because it doesn't do this and it doesn't loosen its iron grip on earnestness for a second.

KH is like, fuck that. It actually engages with its ridiculous bits in a way that never make the player feel embarrassed for buying into them. "Dude gets split in half then put back together because he is Special but his other half is still there because of that Specialness and becomes besties with someone he won't remember after she dies because of some bullshit we made up to facilitate a retcon" is objectively pretty eye-rolly, but KH doesn't roll its eyes. KH is like "wow would that be fucked up or what? How would someone's mental health actually be affected by that anime nonsense?" It isn't preachy but it is surprisingly thoughtful.

KH is like, it's fine to have big feelings about stuff! Your teenage angst is not embarrassing! And it applies to the positive things too. It's fine to be sappy and say saccharine and heartfelt things to your friend. It's fine to be silly without having to attach a disclaimer that you're actually a cool and mature person but felt like being temporarily silly. You can just be silly. Whatever emotions are happening in a given cutscene, KH turns them up to 11 and doesn't even consider the fact that there's anything weird about that.

Also, as a shorter second answer, I think KH is great because it doesn't care about specifically explain certain extremely lore-important concepts like the power of waking but it DOES care about explaining why Mickey Mouse didn't have a shirt at the end of the first game. I think that kind of laser-focus on extremely dumb details should be appreciated more.

203 notes - Posted April 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

a logical progression

Today chat discussed how it’s funny that Master Xehanort’s one act of kindness had such wildly disproportionate consequences and ultimately fucked him over

367 notes - Posted March 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[redwayfarers]

for the lovely cass;

4, 17, 19, and 41 :3c

here's a cass for for you too!!

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Vestran civil war. An expected answer, I know, but he has an additional element of meeting with his family after so many years of no contact, and it brought not only old, childhood wounds that he can now identify for what they are, but also new ones, as he can properly understand what's happening now. I don't know the details exactly, but I know for sure he found a love for country that hasn't really been there before, as well as things he can't talk about except in fragments.

Also noteworthy - those three years between the Spire's fall and Karth. Having to grieve absolutely alone something as big as a whole life, numerous friends and loved ones, it really twisted something up in him greatly. That whole period in his life kinda sucks, ngl

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

A small wooden horse that he kept beneath his pillow and hid away whenever he knew Theo was angry at him, fearing she'd break it. She never did (I'm not even she knew it existed tbh) but the fear was there and real. He named it Hypos (quite literally "horse") and had several brightly coloured cloth saddles for it.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Oof, so Cass' biggest relationship flaw is his clinginess? When he enters a relationship, he has a tendency to commit himself fully and entirely, and that includes a need of frequent reassurances, a tendency to do just about anything to keep that person around (in his own words, if his own mother didn't want him at birth, what chance does he truly have with anyone else) and, once more, clinginess. And he knows he bonds quickly and strongly, so he's very, very careful who he enters a relationship with because of this very reason. He doesn't wanna end up being too much for people so they confirm his underlying worldview that everyone will at some point abandon him. Unprocessed abandonment issues do bite him in the ass... And he hasn't given them a chance to ruin any relationship yet. This goes for both platonic and romantic relationships.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

It's... a mixture of both? Right now all he really wants is basic respect and decency as a person, which he doesn't really think you need to necessarily deserve? Respect as a person, that's earned. But not being treated like just a Wayfarer, but having his personhood considered and taken into account? Abso-fuckin-lutely not. As for material things, he'd ideally not like to steal if he doesn't have to, so yeah, he's willing to actually put in the work for them.

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 101: Fuckass Guys From Fuckass Nowhere

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello! It's Grey.

C: Hello! It's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show many times…

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we're both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode we are discussing… [C groans] Season 5, Episode 19: “Hammer of the Gods,” [C boos] written and directed by Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin- No, no! [both] Written by Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin [C boos] Directed by Rick Botta…? 

C: Boo- who the fuck is that?

G: This is his only episode of Supernatural. [C: Get out! And he did.] And he is known for Kiss The Girl, Barbed Wire, and Lethal Weapon Four.

C: Has this person not had work since 2011? Are they dead?

G: Yeah, maybe he died, so that's your- that's your problem, Crystal. [C laughs] I didn't say anything bad about him ever. [C laughs]

C: He directed 23 episodes of Tales From the Crypt. [G: What is that?] That is like, a known thing.

G: Well, I don't know it. And as you know, my experience of American television is the ultimate American television experience.

C: True. Yes, it is. 

G: Well, a couple of things. This episode, obviously, a very racist episode [C and G laugh] and just, like, terrible in other ways. Like, the fundamental terrible of it is like, it's racist, and then there's offshoots of that that manifest in different ways. [C: Yeah] And then, also, I sound horrible. The volcano is doing its thing. I'm so sorry. I'm having allergies because of it.

C: You should have stopped the volcano when you could, Grey. Why didn't you?

G: [laughs] Yeah, I mean, we could have recorded way earlier when the volcano was still not doing its thing, but we didn’t. So I feel like that's actually my fault.

C: That's true. How dare you have a chronic illness?

G: Yeah, so horrible.

C: And I guess on my part, because of how delayed this recording is, [G laughs] I watched this episode 16 days ago, and I haven't rewatched it. [G: Yeah] So yeah, we'll see how this goes.

G: Yeah, what do you know about this episode before going in?

C: Lucifer is at some hotel conference with gods from other religions. Gabriel is there trying to get with Kali. Also Dean tries to hit on her, and she says no, and he's annoyed about it. Lucifer's like, "We have to kill all these other gods," and Sam and Dean are like, "Sure." And also that Ganesh is played by a Black man, and also that there's some Chinese guy here called Zao Shen.

G: Does he speak in Mandarin or Cantonese?

C: Cantonese. [laughs] And despite that every other god can speak English. Interesting.

G: Yeah. I did find that… [C: Interesting] [G laughs] Interesting. I found it interesting, obviously.

C: [laughing] A lot of interest was piqued at this.

G: I mean, honestly, I don't remember this episode because I think I watched it one time, and after that one, I was like, [C: That’s enough] "Let's just skip this every time we see it." Yeah. And I- I mean, eugh. [both laugh] It's bad! Who'd have thunk, even? It's not like we have been talking about how much we dread this episode for a long time.

C: We have. Or we haven't. Who knows? [G: Who knows?] You'd have to rewatch- relisten to remember.

-

G: Yeah, well, we start the episode. Well, "Then" sequence is just, I think-

C: Gabriel exists. The plot of 5.18.

G: Yeah. There's like, a Lisa bit. There's like, a bit with Lisa and stuff. We start the episode with Sam and Dean pulling up to a hotel lobby, and it's rather nice!

C: It's not Sam and Dean. [G: It's not?] It's like, a guy. It's a cold open. Sam and Dean don't show up until later.

G: Ugh. [laughs] I don't even remember this part!

C: [laughs] You watched it 4 days ago!

G: I mean, you have to remember. I usually watch the episode literally like an hour before we record, so like-

C: That's true. That shit's stored in short term memory, baby.

G: Yeah. I mean, the intro is whatever. If I didn't remember, it's probably because it's unmemorable.

C: [laughs] That's true. Why am I trying to defend Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin right now? You're right. It may as well be Sam and Dean. Who cares? White men all look the same.

G: Oh, I remember this, actually! Because I had the thought that they did this exact same thing with Lilith. Like, Lilith pulls this thing, too, where someone is like, "Oh, I don't like- sorry," and she's like, "No, you're here for a reason. Because we have to eat you." And, like, this guy does as well.

C: Yeah. He's a security guard for the Elysian Fields Hotel.

G: Guy's been eaten. Hooray! Or maybe not. I'm not actually sure. [laughs]

C: I think the fact that they put cannibalism in this episode, even though it's not part of the lore of any of these gods, as a reason to kill them is bad.

G: Yeah, Sam and Dean enter the fucking hotel, and it's a nice hotel. It's nicer than they usually go to. And it's like, storming outside, and like, Sam later on says that it's like a Biblical storm. [both laugh] Dude, come to Manila. [both laugh] We have a lot of Biblical storms here. Anyway, as they're checking in, the fucking host- What is it called? The guy in the fucking- [both] concierge. Yeah.

C: Which I know from A Series of Unfortunate Events.

G: Who is this guy? I forgot.

C: Was he Mercury? Or like-

G: Oh yeah, he's Mercury because he's the fast one, right? That's his gimmick. [C: Yes.] But he points out that Dean's neck, he has, like, a little wound, and he's like, "Oh, you shaved yourself nicking." No! [C laughs] The other way. He was like, "Oh, you nicked yourself while you were shaving." And it's woo, ominous, whatever the fuck. And yeah, he points them towards the buffet. Love a buffet. [laughing] This episode's still terrible. [C laughs] Anyway, they they go into the- [muffled thud] oh, shit. So they they go to eat, and Dean is picking food, and he's like, getting the pies, which are allegedly the best in the state, or the [both] tri-state area, like Doofenschmirtz. Do people actually say "tri-state area," or did Doofenschmirtz Incorporated invent that?

C: Is that New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut? Let me check what the tri-state area is.

G: But this this place is in Indiana. Is it the second three states?

C: Oh, okay, it refers to any area that lies across three states. Okay, yeah, there is a New York one, which is the one that I said, the New York tri-state area. Which one's the Indiana one? The Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky tri-state area.

G: Why is it- why? Why? Why?

C: Sometimes, states are friends.

G: It's obviously not like a political, geographical location. So what's the point?

C: It "implies a shared economy or culture among the area's residents," apparently.

G: But why only three? Why only three?

C: It's a bit busy, otherwise.

G: Why not two?

C: Two's too intimate. [G laughs]

G: Yeah, they're not in wuv. They're in business, so.

C: Exactly. Yeah. Not that three people can't be in love! [both laugh] Hashtag polyamory! [laughs] Anyway- [G: Yeah, we're committing polyamory-] Yeah, like in Merrily We Roll Along, the only [laughs] media ever where three people were in love.

G: Yeah, like, House and Wilson and Cuddy, even.

C: True. The only two medias. And House and Wilson and Cuddy were in the tri-state area, [G: This is true!] and so were the Merrily trio because they were in New York City.

G: New York, exactly. We just need a- no.

C: Yeah. Where's the Connecticut throuple? Yeah.

G: Who's the Connecticut throuple? I don't know.

C: I don't know. It's your K-pop guy and two other people.

G: Who the fuck is-? Ahh! He's not my K-pop guy. Don't ever say that about Jaehyun.

C: You're right. It's a K-pop guy that I only know of through you, but he is not your guy.

G: Yeah, I don't like him. I mean, he's fine. I think his new sound is good, or whatever the fuck people say. I fundamentally hate his face. [C laughing] So yeah, if you're a Jaehyun fan- like, many people love him because he's actually genuinely very attractive. But I find that annoying. So yeah. [laughing]

C: Well, this has been a PSA. So Dean's eating pie...

G: Dean's eating pie. As he's walking back to his table, he sees an Asian woman, a South Asian woman.

C: Yeah. You didn't let us do the setup of "He sees a woman... and she's Asian!" Oh well.

G: Where is this a setup from?

C: No, I feel like every time there was an Asian character, [G: Ohh.] we'd describe the character first, and then we go, "And they're Asian!"

G: Well, okay. Well, he walks up towards a woman, and she's wearing-

C: And she's Asian!

G: No! [laughing] We have to describe her first. Okay. So he walks up to a woman, and she's wearing a red shirt. Her hair, very wonderfully wavy. She's, I think, drinking coffee or something. And Dean goes up to her, and I don't know, tries to hit her up... and she's Asian.

C: [overlapping] Wait, so is she Asian or not? [both laughing]

G: We need to give up. We've already done it three times, at least.

C: [laughing] Okay, yeah. It's joever.

G: Dean is hitting up on her. What do we say? She goes, "No." and Dean goes, "But-" [both laughing] What's wrong with him? What's wrong with him?

C: [laughing] What was his wonderful logical argument gonna be? What was gonna come after the "but"?

G: I know. What's wrong with him?

C: I don't know. Something, clearly. Racism and misogyny, I think, probably.

G: He starts trying to be like, "No, but like, you know. I'm sorry, I just- I-" but Kali is like, "Go away!" and then he does. And as he sits down, Sam's not eating. He's in distress about everything. And he's like, "Saaam! You should eat." And Sam says there's like, a Noah's Ark storm outside, [laughs] and that's really bad! But Dean says, "You have to unfucking clench." And Sam's like, "No, you're right." [laughs] Supernatural is so corny. [both laugh] Is Supernatural a corny show? [both] Yes. Anyway, yeah, Dean's like, "Well, don't worry. We'll find Cas. We'll find Adam. But for now, let's try to enjoy the one break that we get from being stuck here." And so there's this bit where the camera follows away, they're going around the dining area, and she goes into the kitchen. And there's body parts in the kitchen. Hell yeah!

C: So Sam and Dean go up to their room. There's like-

G: Can I say something?

C: Huh? Yeah.

G: 'Cause the- I don't know. I mean, we've already said it. Whatever. I feel like it's just a fundamental misunderstanding to like, [laughs] equate all pagan gods the same or like, all polytheistic gods the same. [C: I agree.] Now that I think about it, because like, Supernatural has done gods in the past, and they are all like, cannibalism.

C: Yeah, the Christmas episode, the Paris Hilton episode.

G: Yeah. And they also did one- Isn't the one where they're like, in a- "Scarecrow." That was like, they were sacrificing humans for the gods. [C: That's true.] And so Supernatural has always made this like, fucking connection that, like, pagan god = cannibalism. Pagan god = human sacrifice. And it's like, well.

C: And we've also never had a character who wasn't Christian, right? Or no. Rufus is Jewish. [G: Yeah.] Okay, yeah. But we've never had a character with a polytheistic religion? I don't think so.

G: Yeah. And is Rufus Jewish, like, a known thing at this point? Or is it later?

C: Yeah, I think that might be later. Yeah. So, so far, we have not had a character of a religion that's not Christianity, [both] explicitly.

G: Yeah. Oh, I miss Rufus. When will we see him again? I don't think we will see him in Season 5. So Season 6?

C: Does he come back in Season 6 to die, and that's it? Wait, we saw him in 5.02.

G: Oh, yeah. Oh my god! It feels like forever ago! He was with Ellen and Jo. Yeah. Whatever. It's such a- I mean, Supernatural has always had this issue of just being like, "Oh, this complex thing, actually, it's purely evil, because they eat people." That's always been their thing. I just- especially for existing religions, though. That is, you know, well, obviously, it's bad. [laughs] I mean, the thing is, talking about this episode is like, all the egregious things that they do-

C: It feels like talking to a kindergarten class because it's like, "It was bad to do the most obvious, racist thing ever."

G: [laughs] Like, "It's bad to obviously do a terrible thing." Like, yeah, we know. [C laughs] But like, it is still- I mean, when was this released? 2011, right? What's the times like, so different? Were things so different?

C: I don't think so.

G: I mean, I don't know.

C: I think it's just the white man show written by white men for white men.

G: Yeah, perhaps. But like, I don't know. I feel like a lot of white people are into, well, Hinduism.

C: I think neopaganism is kinda new.

G: That's newer than 2011? I mean, there's a lot of things also, with regards to that. But like, I'm just saying, like, people know the names. They don't at 2011?

C: Oh, like, the names of gods?

G: Or, like, I don't know, like, if somebody told me-

C: I don't know. I was busy being ten years old.

G: [laughs] This is true.

C: I mean, I think I knew the names of some of the gods because I like, had Hindu friends.

G: Well then, what's all this, then? [both laughing]

C: I don't know. I just think- Like, were they not aware that, like, Hinduism, is the third largest religion in the world? [laughs]

G: I mean, what it is is that- we've said this in the past. Supernatural, I think, just failed to consider that they would have audience outside of their target audience. So like, they did not give a fuck, it was just like, "I don't know." I mean, Season 5 of a TV show. I'm sure they were aware that they had international audience at this point.

C: Well, were they? And if they were, did they care?

G: Yeah, this is true. They did not give a single fuck. I mean, a lot of the times, I feel like, when we're like, "But why were we doing this?" I feel like I'm giving so much benefit of the doubt of like, [laughs] good intentions behind the actions. And like, the reason they did this is because the people who wrote this were racist. [C laughs] That's why. But yeah, well.

-

C: Sam and Dean go up to their hotel room, and there's like, a couple making out in front of a door next to their room. The room itself is quite fancy, and also, Casa Erotica is in there.

G: Yeah, I just do wanna say that I found this bit funny when Dean is like, laughing about the couple making out, and Sam goes, "Dude, what are you? 12?" And Dean goes, "I'm young at heart." I did have a laugh. I'm so sorry. [laughs] I know it's completely irrelevant to everything. But go on.

C: You know, I'm glad somebody somewhere is having fun. Yeah, Sam is again suspicious of how nice this hotel is. [G: Yeah.] And they hear the couple having sex on the other side of the room, but then there's a really, really loud sound, and then, like, the wall between their rooms, gets like, smashed into really hard.

G: Semi-destroyed, yeah.

C: Yeah. So they run over, and nobody is there. And there's an engagement ring on the floor.

G: Yeah, [laughs] there's a fucking product placement of an engagement ring on the floor for some reason.

C: Was it? Was it a product placement? No, you're joking.

G: No, I mean, I just find it hilarious that, like, it's just there on full display. Like, "Sam and Dean, find us!"

C: Yeah, it's beautiful. So they head on down to the concierge to be like, "Hey, something weird happened." But Mercury is just like, "Um, oh my god! Like, they just checked out. And, oh my god! They lost their engagement ring? That's crazy!" And he's like, smiling creepily the whole time. And Dean's like, "Okay, I guess something is weird. I'll look around and you keep an eye on Mercury." So they split up, and Mercury disappears partway through Sam trailing him and then there's like, a cut that appears on Sam's neck where the cut on Dan's neck appeared as well. Meanwhile, Dean walks by this room that has a door open, and there's an elephant in there. And, as is noted in the wiki, this is an African elephant when Ganesh is depicted as an Asian elephant, for obvious reasons. [both laugh] I don't know. It just feels like a symbol of how they wouldn't do the bare minimum of research, you know what I mean? [G: Yeah.] Like, it's a CGI elephant. [G laughs] You can change what the ears look like pretty easily. [G: Yeah.] And when Dean does a double take, when he goes back, it's a man there instead who's like, naked except for a towel around him, and he's angry at Dean for looking.

-

G: We go to a scene where like, Kali and Baldur are- like, they're flirting, whatever. I don't even remember. They're dressing up? Something. And Mercury comes in, and Mercury is like the concierge. He hands over, like, vials of blood, and he's like, "Oh, there's like, the pantry is full, and the Winchesters are under control." He reveals his skills of being quick on his feet by doing a zoom-zoom around the room. [both laugh] It's so corny. And anyway, yeah, "Let's get it going" is what they say. And so Sam and Dean go down. They see that the halls are empty and that the doors are locked and that they're trapped here, and that they were led here, whatever. They go into the kitchen, and there is a scene that, like, I think I've seen this giffed or whatever where they're walking around the kitchen. Dean is like, looking at this boiling pot of "tomato soup" in quotation marks, and he's like, "Please be tomato soup," and then he ladles it up, and there's like, a bunch of eyes in there. [C: Yeah.] Hell yeah! The eyes are green, so, I don't know. Whatever.

C: [laughing] What?

G: [laughing] No, I just wanted to point it out.

C: Okay. Beautiful detail.

G: Yeah, beautiful green eyes or whatever. Sam goes towards, like, the fridge area, and a lot of these guys are Carmy locked in the fridge. And yeah, they're like, pounding at the door, "Get us out!" or whatever. But then, as Sam is trying to unlock the door, and Dean goes like, "Do it faster!" and Sam turns around and goes, "I'm going as fast as I can!" [laughs] He's so real for that. Didn't they also do that thing in like, that other terrible episode where they're trying to show that Sam is angry?

C: Yeah, the one where it's like, "Sam's so angry." Yeah, it was in "Sam, Interrupted." [G laughs] Yeah, Sam snaps at Dean about, like, the not lockpicking fast enough situation.

G: "This is evidence that Sam is high-strung and so so mad at the world! It's because he's mad that Dean is telling him to hurry up with the lock." [C laughs] But anyway, Dean does that fucking joke that everyone who makes fun of Marvel says as a way to make fun of Marvel, where he goes, "There's something behind me, isn't there?" [C: Yeah.] And then they get smacked.

C: Were the two gods behind them- was that Zao Shen and Baron Samedi? Do you remember?

G: I have no recollection whatsoever.

C: Okay. I think those were the two that were in there. The Wiki suggested that because Zao Shen is a Chinese folk religion kitchen God, [laughs] that's why he was there cooking all the people.

G: No, I mean, honestly, [laughs] I did find that like, "Okay, well, what are they doing?" [laughs] Because- I don't know. Whatever. And like, I think it's just a combination of he's also the only one who doesn't speak English. It's like, what are we doing here? I mean, that can be said about literally every aspect of this episode, though, so.

C: Yeah, no. But okay, like, I think the two who attack them are, like, a Chinese man and a Black man, right? [G: Yeah.] So that's those two. Yeah, yeah, you know, interesting. Interesting. There are statements that people make about what people of color eat as meat that I feel like can be applied to it being racist that these are the two people who are in the kitchen, but I don't know if it's that deep. I think they were just being racist and stupid the whole time [G laughs] in like, a not deep way, so.

G: [laughs] Yeah. They didn't even have the commitment of the bit to, like, those- like, to the people who were attacking my friend, who like, said that Mark from NCT posted a really corny poem, where they [laughs] scrolled through her profile to look for a picture of her dog, and then started telling her to eat her dog. [C laughing] Like, they didn't even have that commitment to being racist. [both laughing] Like, they were just shallowly racist for whatever reason. That is still such a wild story to me. [C screams]

C: This was on, what? Instagram? Twitter?

G: This was on Twitter. Like, she said, "God! The poem Mark posted"- 'cause like, Mark Lee from NCT, he posted a poem that he wrote, and it was bad. And she was like, "God! What the fuck is this poem Mark posted?"

C: Like, Misha Collins bad?

G: No like, I don't know. He's like- Mark is kind of like a- I don't know. Mark is fine. [C laughs] I also don't like him. I'm beginning to question whether I like anyone in NCT.

C: This is not an episode about "Hammer of the Gods." This is an episode about all of Grey's specific K-pop beefs. [G laughs]

G: I mean, he's fine, and I think he's a very talented man, and like, yeah. And like, he's just very famous in the Philippines for some reason. I think in the world, also. [C laughs] But specifically, in the Philippines, he's famous because, like, he kind of looks like- he has the vibe of like, your childhood neighbor friend. You know what I mean? Like, he's like, [C: Yeah. Boy next door vibes.] "I can go outside and see a guy like him." And I think that's his appeal, that he's approachable. Anyway, yeah, he posted a terrible poem. And like, my friend doesn't have, like, "Filipino" on the page. I don't think she has any, like, identifiable "Oh, this is an Asian person." [C: Yeah.] And this person really scrolled the fuck back for a picture of her dog to quote-tweet it like, "Why don't you just eat your dog?" [both laughing] Like, commit to the bit, honestly. People will fucking do anything.

C: [laughing] Yeah, I guess they will.

G: Anyway, Sam and Dean are now in this like, hall with some tables around, and everyone's eating around the tables. And Baldur is hosting this fucking thing, and he's like, "Wow, everyone. There's so many gods here," whatever.

C: Oh, wait! Is this where the name tag flashing- [laughing]

G: Oh my god! This pissed me off so bad! I completely forgot about it! Okay, so when they enter the room, so Sam and Dean come in- and we see it from Dean's perspective. I think they were like, "If we see it from Sam's perspective, it's kind of whack." [laughs] Like, "Sam would not have this thought process," whatever. [laughing] From Dean's perspective-

C: Wait, you think that Sam Winchester, of "every culture, every religion" wouldn't? [G laughs] Sam's actually read the lore books. I think all of this is coming from Sam's brain. I don't think Dean knows any of these illustrations.

G: [laughs] Like, we were seeing Dean's confused face, but the thought process was actually Sam's. It was Sam connecting the dots, and he was furiously whispering this in Dean's ear as Dean takes it in. Anyway, the visual that they do is they have- So the god, and then the god is wearing a name tag. Literally like a "Hi, I'm..." name tag.

C: Yeah. "Hi! My name is Baldur," etc.

G: So it zooms in on the name tag, and then there's like, quick flashes of, like, what the god is about. [laughs]

C: Yeah, it's just like, an illustration of them, like, looking scary and evil. [G: Yeah.] Should we go through the who's here?

G: Sure. Let's go through the who's here, yeah.

C: Alright. Okay. We got Zao Shen, who's a kitchen god from Chinese folk religion. We've got Baron Samedi, who is from Haitian Voudu, and I think- what is he? He's the loa of the cemetery, and I think he's usually depicted as having either a skeleton face or face painted like a skeleton, and he wears dark glasses. Very cool. They don't do any stylizing of, like, these gods' like, human forms. It's a good look, I think. [G: I mean-] I don't think they needed to. I don't think I would have liked it, but it's still very low effort. [laughs]

G: I mean Supernatural is the dragon as people show. [C laughs] But like, for example, they do a bit where Kali, like, manifests her power or whatever, and, like, literally, all they do is they just have, like, a bright light shine over her or whatever the fuck.

C: She doesn't even have fire powers! [both laughing]

G: And I was like, "Huh?" And I literally looked up like, "I don't think that's what she's up to!" And it literally isn't. And, like, the thing is like, earlier, they had- Like, earlier from that, they had Gabriel make a sex joke about how she has many hands. [C: Yeah.] And I feel like they can make a setup-payoff for that. Do some good CGI or whatever. Honestly, if they did, I'd probably be mad in different ways, [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] but like, I don't know. It's kind of funny that they tried to set it up, and then they just did absolutely nothing with it.

C: Yeah. Oh, I'm seeing in my notes that on the Wiki it said that "Hammer of the Gods" did not air in India. I wonder why. [laughs]

G: I wonder why.

C: So, like, they knew? Like, at some point, somebody knew, like, "What you're doing is fucked up." But like, too late, or they didn't care?

G: Maybe it's like, they knew when- 'Cause you do have to vet that shit, and I'm assuming, you know, the local networks need to vet that shit.

C: Right. So it came too late.

G: Yeah. So like, when they were vetting, they were like, "Let's not show this" probably.

C: Yeah. We've got Ganesh, major Hindu god, we all know him. We have Kali who we met earlier, also major Hindu god. We have Baldur and Odin, who are [both] Norse gods, and Mercury, who is a [both] Roman god. And that's everyone, right?

G: Yeah, I feel like- [C: Yeah?] I mean, the fact that they didn't just pick one mythology is kind of- I don't know. What do you think about that? They took from different, like, pantheons. What's your opinion on that? Because what the episode is trying to do is, everyone needs to get together.

C: Yeah, they're trying to set up a- Yeah, all the polytheistic gods have to get together to defeat Lucifer. And then it's like, "No. [laughs] They can't. None of them can."

G: Like, because it's just honestly, it's just- Like, the story Supernatural is trying to tell of like, "It's undefeatable. Like, Michael and Lucifer are so powerful." [C laughs] It's just incompatible with this. They just shouldn't have done it because there's no way to incorporate it.

C: Yeah, no, just the idea of the episode being like, "Well, Lucifer's soo cool and strong and powerful, and also, nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh, my God is stronger than your God." Like, okay, why? [laughs]

G: The thing is, we can do all our, "Okay, if we were to do this episode another way-"

C: Yeah, have small edits that make it less racist. But the central conceit just shouldn't have been done.

G: Yeah. Yeah. But it is still in the season where the season will end, and Sam and Dean, fuckass guys from fuckass nowhere, [C laughs] will defeat Lucifer and Michael.

C: [laughing] No, literally, Sam will defeat Lucifer. [laughs]

G: And then the point of that is like, "It's so unique from the fact that all of these powerful other gods couldn't do it." And it's like, "Well, whatever!"

C: Interesting. What are you saying with that? "Sam and Dean defeated them through the power of love and through the power of American individualism!" [laughs]

G: And also, another- I mean, I'm just being, like, pedantic now, but, like, the fact that they were like, Lucifer and Michael and etc and Gabriel and stuff are not God. [C: Yeah.] They're angels. And like-

C: They're literally some guy. [G laughs]

G: They're also some guys from fuckass nowhere! [C laughs]

C: Fuckass nowhere being Heaven.

G: Yeah. And like, I don't know, like, the equating that they do is incredibly frustrating. And, I mean, okay, I'll just get it out of the way. Supernatural, obviously, also not the pinnacle of other religions other than Christianity in any way. [laughs] Honestly, also not the pinnacle of Christianity. It's not the pinnacle of anything. [C laughs] Supernatural's just a bad show. But I mean, like, later on, we have a scene where Michael shows up in front of a Muslim man who is praying. Do you know of this?

C: You told me about it once.

G: Yeah. Barring the like, cultural and, like, religious implications of that, especially for Muslim people who have watched the episode, and I know some people who felt ugh about it, the show presents this as an equal. They were, I think what they were trying to do is like, "It's the same gods," so like, the gods from Christianity and the gods from Islam- "gods" plural. [laughs] I'm just realizing that. But like, the figures in Islam and Christianity are the same. That's what Supernatural was trying to say in that scene. And I have a lot of problems with that idea. I mean, everybody knows. I come from a very Catholic place and a very Catholic family, but we do have family members who are other religions, and the reason I bring that up is because for example, when my aunt converted to Islam, that was the way that a lot of my family members tried to pacify themselves, right? By being like, "Oh, but it's the same. Like, they believe in the same God. It's just a different name." And I think that is a reductive way to look at it. It's like something you would say to, like, a fucking second-grader, [laughs] you know, to be like, "Don't be mean to other people," but like, I think it's reductive. But like, that is the idea that Supernatural was trying to peddle. What that implies, though, is at some point it would be so different that it's just not true anymore. And that is- like, we see the end of that thought process here in this episode, where it's not the same idea. Hinduism is very different from Christianity. And then, suddenly, it's like, lesser. And I don't know. The reason why I'm telling this is because, like, the ideas supporting this episode- we're not just being, like, pedantic or being haters for no reason. Like, these are ideas that are actually present in real life. Like, people apply them, and even well-meaning people apply them to their experiences. And it's just- it's so horrible to see it not only be present in this episode, but also taken to its worst conclusion, which is what Supernatural is doing. This is like, the worst conclusion of this thought process. And they're doing it in like, some fuckass episode of Season 5. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. You could cut this episode out. It does nothing for anybody.

G: You can literally just have Gabriel send-

C: Yeah, he's nice now. He just sends you a video.

G: Yeah, but like, it'll be like, he dies offscreen or something. I don't know. It's- yeah. It's bad. Yay! [laughs]

C: Yay!

-

C: Baldur is presiding over this meeting.

G: Yeah, [laughs] and he calls it the Judeo-Christian apocalypse.

C: Yeah. Well, he says the ground rules are that they can't slaughter each other, they have to curb their wrath, and they have to keep their hands off the local virgins, which I think- which I hate. [G: Yeah.] [laughs] Well, anyway. It's just the idea that like, "Oh, you know, these are all gods, but like, they're icky. Like, they're bad. Like, look." Later, Lucifer has this line where it's like, "Oh, you icky icky pagans, you're always infighting, and that's why you can never do anything right," and like, it's not just like, "Oh, he's Lucifer, and he's being an asshole." I think it's like, "Yes, so true!" Like, I think we're supposed to believe him and agree with him because the gods themselves are introducing themselves in this way in this episode. Like, "Wow, we do infight, and we're so evil and wrathful, and also eat virgins." Like, no. [laughs]

G: Like, Kali has a whole thing later where she's like, she has her girlboss monologue. [C laughs] Or, I suppose, like, polytheistic god monologue is what she has where she's like, "Oh, you Westerners think that you're blah blah blah."

C: Yeah. And Lucifer goes, "Yep," and then kills everyone.

G: And like, the thing is like, that monologue, I feel like fucking Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin thought they were fucking doing something, [C laughs] but they just completely- the rest of the episode is the way it is, man. [laughs] Like, you can't-

C: We'll get to it when we get to it, I suppose. But yeah. I don't think I need to factcheck every single god's mythology to know that not all of them eat virgins. [G: Yeah.] [laughs] But I did check, and not all of them eat virgins. [G laughs] What a surprise. [G: Yeah.] I don't even know if any of them eat virgins. I think none of them-

G: I think that's like, dragons. [laughs] I feel like that's a dragon lore or something.

C: [laughing] Dragons, which also show up in Supernatural, but not here. The only blood sacrifices practiced for any of these gods are animal sacrifices. But yeah, anyway, maybe some of the animals don't fuck. I don't think that's a requirement, though. [laughs] So anyway, he calls it the Judeo-Christian apocalypse, which is like- I don't know. I think it's just an extension of like, "What's close enough to be close." Because in that Michael scene you described, they decided that Islam is [both] close enough. There is an Apocalypse described in some Islamic texts, but I guess it's not close enough here, but it is Judeo and Christian? Okay. Their plan is to use Sam and Dean, who are very valuable bargaining chips, in some way to stop the Apocalypse. And Zao Shen, who only speaks in Cantonese this episode, as we've mentioned, just goes, like, "We kill them!" Alright, alright. Whatever. Whatever.

G: I mean, Sam and Dean? They should kill them. [laughs]

C: Yeah, no, for real. No, because, okay, regarding the afterlife in Supernatural, right?These other gods are real. They have physical forms. Sam and Dean went to the Christian Heaven. If a god from another religion kills them, can they go to a different afterlife that Zachariah can't get them in? [laughs]

G: I mean, like, I don't know, man. Like, the way Joshua said it during "Dark Side of the Moon," he was like, "You see here what you want to see."

C: Well, in the Garden of Eden, not in general.

G: Hinduism, does it not- they go alive again. I forgot the term. [laughs]

C: Reincarnate?

G: You reincarnate! [laughs] "They go alive again." [C laughs] So like, I don't know. Maybe Sam and Dean can reincarnate as not humans, and then, like, it really disenfranchises Lucifer and Michael.

C: Yeah, I think they [laughs] did a bad enough job while being alive that they wouldn't come back as people. [G laughs] But yeah. Ganesh says that if they kill them, the angels will bring them back again. Okay, and then they start doing this fucking humorous, I suppose, scene where Odin's like, "There's no such thing as Armageddon, because when the world ends,  a snake is gonna eat everything, and I'm gonna be eaten by a wolf." And Zao Shen's like, "That's dumb." And he's like, "Oh, 'cause your beliefs are so much more realistic? The whole world getting carried around on the back of a giant turtle? Give me a break." Okay, I would like to say that it's not on the back of a turtle, but like, four legs got cut off of a turtle, and they were used to prop up the sky, so there! [both laugh] But yeah. It's just another case of like, absolutely no research. Like, "What's a thing that sounds dumb that we can put in here?"

G: Yeah, and also, like, obviously, like, I mean, if we're going to do what's unrealistic or not, I feel like Christianity [laughs] isn't really realistic, you guys.

C: Yeah. Like, that guy turned water into wine. Doesn't he know how chemistry works?

G: Literally. What the fuck is he fermenting in there? This is stupid shit.

C: But yeah, I think it's just this whole thing where it's like, "What's something that we think is super super unrealistic that we can bring up to make fun of these religions?" And it's like, okay, why is this super unrealistic, but angels and whatever who are also unscientific, if you're just using science as the, like, benchmark for what's realistic or not like, why are they fine? And also like, I guess it's-

G: We literally have the Adam and Eve religion that has pushed back against scientific revolution. [both laughing] Like, what are you doing, man?

C: No, literally. Literally. Like, Copernicus died for that. And it's also just very irritating that it's like, I don't. They're bringing up things that are like, I guess it's like, objectively aren't reality. So it's already bringing up the- We already know that they consider these religions as less legit. But like, now, they're like, "And part of the beliefs of these- Like, if this religion was real, then the world would be on the back of a giant turtle. And it's not. So this religion is already fake. Like, done! Did it!" [G: Yeah.] Sam and Dean tried to escape during this, but a chandelier falls down in front of them, controlled by Kali. And she says that what they have to do is fight, because the only thing that the archangels understand is violence, and it's them or us.

G: Can I say something as well? [C: Yeah.] They make a point of talking about the gods' ages this episode. It's brought up here, and it's brought up later, who's older and etc. I just wanted to bring it up. [laughs] I have nothing to say.

C: No, I guess this idea that some of these religions are older, but the angels and God and Christianity were, like, here the whole time, and they were the real ones the whole time. It's just no one knew about it and wrote a book yet. That's the vibe?

G: Yeah, and I don't know.I think a part of it also was like, they were trying to do a like, "Oh, it was like, before. Like, it was like, primitive, or like, before-"

C: Yes, which Dean says as a word.

G: Oh, yeah. Oh my god. [both laugh] I've completely forgotten that as well. [C screams] Well, yeah. And this specific conversation, including Dean's boyboss moment [laughs] or whatever [C laughing] [C: Words can mean anything.], this was the part where I literally was like- I just stood up and started pacing. I was like, "I can't do this shit anymore." [laughs] Supernatural's a bad show. [C screams]

C: Yeah. Who'd have thunk. It's just like, "The age of a religion doesn't lend it legitimacy, nothing about any of these religions lend it legitimacy because the only legitimate God is the Christian God," etc, etc, etc. "And also, the fact that they're an older religion actually makes them more bloodthirsty and like, kill people and eat people and blah blah blah!" It's just-

G: It's also so severely like, callous. Like, they don't show God in Supernatural, because they know what that would mean.

C: You mean Jesus?

G: Like- oh. [laughs] They do show God in Supernatural. [laughing]

C: Yeah, we met him. [G: Oh, yeah.] And they left him a whimpering mess on the side of the road also.

G: [laughing] Maybe Supernatural is secretly progressive. [both laughing]

C: No, but I was thinking about the fact that they never show Jesus, and the fact that didn't Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki have an interview where they're like, "We talked to the showrunner, and we all decided that it would be, like, insensitive to portray Jesus in Supernatural ever, so we just didn't"? It was like, "Interesting."

G: They portrayed God the Father.

C: Yeah. But like, aren't Christians all about Jesus? [laughing] I mean, you're a Christian. Are you all about Jesus Christ?

G: I would say Jesus, it's quite down the list for me, but that's because I live in a particularly Marianist culture, so we're more on the Mama Mary stuff.

C: Right. I feel like Protestants, they're like, bigger on Jesus or whatever. I feel like a lot of Christians hang on to Jesus because they're like, "He's what separates us from Jewish people, and also he was nicer, and also, blah blah blah, antisemitic statement about the Old Testament God being evil but the New Testament God not being."

G: I think there is this whole- I did not actually read the book, but I did attend the book launch. [both laugh] Wonderful. This fucking like, retrospective- It's like, 500 years of Christianity in the Philippines now, and like, it's like, a fucking retrospective of like, what is like the manifestations, blah blah blah blah blah. And, like, they did point out that, like, we are a particularly Marianist society, blah blah. And, like, a part of it is that we were also like, pagan worshippers before, like, colonialism, and so like- And also the saints. Like, Marianist and the saints. But like, the thing about Christianity is like- Well, the thing about the Philippines is like we were not a settler colony, so like, the Spanish were not here, like, for real for real, so like, a lot of the, like, sharing of- [laughs] "sharing." [C laughing] A lot of the whatever they did with regards to Catholicism, like, they had to incorporate it in a more local way, which is, I think, true for everywhere where they did that, and so, like, a lot of our worship is more representative of that kind of pagan background where you have, like, a thing for everyone. I mean, that's the whole point of the saints and like, Mama Mary, etc. So, like, I don't know. I think we're not that into Jesus, honestly. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] But people also say that Philippine Catholicism specifically is more folk Christianity than Catholicism, which I push back against, but I do think that is coming from somewhere. So I don't know. I think my point here is [laughing] I am not representative of the Catholic Church or whatever the fuck. [laughs]

C: Yeah, makes sense. Well, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki are representative of Christianity to me, [G laughs] and I think the fact that they said that about Jesus is very funny.

G: Aren't they Christian? Like, what's their situation?

C: I'd assume so. I mean, most people in the US are.

G: Jensen Ackles thanked God in like, his speech once. [C laughs] Like, he received an award for A Day in the Life or whatever-

C: [laughs] Wait, he did?

G: YYeah. Is it called Day in the Life? [C: I have no clue.] Days of Our Lives. [C: Days of Our Lives.]

G: Yeah. He received a-

C: Whatever. I don't want to make fun of his practice if that's what he's into.

G: I'm just saying that we know that he's... something. [laughs] We actually don't know anything, so. He did say, like, "First of all, I would like to thank God."

C: So he's like, more Christian than the average Christian guy, I think.

G: Why? People don't usually-

C: Are people thanking gods in their- thanking God in their speech that much? I feel like that was like for footballers, only. [laughs] I have a very skewed idea of what Christianity is like.

G: Yeah, Christianity is for when you're playing basketball and you shoot that shot, and then you do like, a little sign of the cross-

C: And then you kiss your hand- [both] and you raise it up.

G: Yeah, exactly. [laughs]

C: Kali was stating the argument for staying and fighting the archangels. Mercury suggests talking to them, and Kali starts to choke him so that he starts coughing up blood, but then Baldur forces her to stop, which is just, I guess, another example of the whole, "Oh, all of you pagan gods are so, like, violent, and you can't get along with each other," blah blah blah blah shit.

G: Also- It will take us forever to get through the scene, but also like, why are they wearing name tags again?

C: No, literally. [laughs] Like, don't they know each other?

G: Because from all of this, I feel like they kind of know each other.

C: Yeah, they're making specific digs at each other. I think they- I mean, maybe they only know what digs to make because of the name tags. Who knows?

G: [laughs] Yeah. I feel like the name tag feels very much like a "When we're speaking, we want Sam and Dean to know who we are." [both laugh]

C: They did it for them. Perhaps so. But yeah, Gabriel shows up, and he says, "Can't we all just get along?" And he silences Sam and Dean so they can't talk. And apparently, he is known to them as Loki. I don't know. Stupid elephant joke, blah blah blah, and he sends Sam and Dean off into their hotel room so that he can talk to everybody.

-

C: Sam and Dean zap back in their hotel room, are making a plan. And Dean says that he's gonna get those people out of the freezer, and then he's gonna "gank a few freaks along the way if we're lucky." Which I mean, "freak" is a quite a loaded word in Supernatural already. It's very specific to like- I don't know. It's like, bad. It's like, very specific to monsters who are bad, like, inhuman people, or whatever whatever. Again, it's just that they make these gods cannibalistic for no reason in order to justify Dean being so so so so racist. [G: Yeah.] But like, I think he is like still worse to them than he is to other cannibalistic monsters. [both laugh]

G: The only monster he is worse towards is witches, who he hates particularly, I think, because they're women. And to these guys, I think, because he's racist! [both laugh]

C: Yeah. I think that is the case.

Gabriel shows up. I don't know. They just try to do Debriel this episode to distract us from them being racist?

G: I can't believe this is Gabriel's last episode until fucking Season 13. And people still ship Sabriel, like, for real. They were committed to it.

C: Maybe they have some good moments in Season 13.

G: No, I mean, before Season 13, Sabriel was the biggest Sam ship or something. [C: Huh!] Like, they brought back Gabriel specifically to cater to the Sabriel ship. Like, I'm not kidding. [C: Huh!] They brought it back, and they did all that fanservice. "I need you, Gabriel." What's wrong with them?

C: [laughs] Well, maybe they were going where the story was taking them.

Gabriel says that he's here to save Sam and Dean because he doesn't care about them, but apparently he and Kali had a thing, I guess, while he was lying to her about his identity. He makes a joke about how she was "all hands." It feels quite gross to use, like, religious iconography for a sex joke. [G: Yeah.] Not a fan. Sam asks, like, "Hey, what if we team up with them and try to defeat Satan? Do they have a chance?" And Gabriel goes, "No, Lucifer's just gonna kill them so hard and so raw." Why? Why, though? [laughs] I know we've asked this many times, but why? I think the Wiki tries to reason with it by saying- The Wiki just thinks that the power of the nature of the gods come from how many people follow the religion, and it also says, "In the Supernatural universe, clearly there are fewer followers of Hinduism, because Ganesh is killed so quickly." [laughs] [G: Bruh.] They're trying so hard.

G: "Why don't we erase the Indian subcontinent in the Supernatural universe to make the plot make sense?" [laughs]

C: This is just like how in Doctor Who, the Sontarans took over Russia and China, [laughing] and there's no longer Russia and China. But yeah, like, first off, Hinduism, third largest religion, as I've mentioned. Chinese folk religion, by the broadest definition, about 70% of the Chinese population follows Chinese folk religion, but I'd say the population that actually celebrates Zao Shen on Little New Year is like smaller. Like, I feel like if you just add those two numbers up already, like, you're good. [laughs] Like, you've defeated Christianity. [G laughs] But yeah, whatever. And Gabriel says that he can't just zap Sam and Dean out of there because Kali has a blood spell that binds both of them. This is also not a power that she has. I don't get why they keep trying to make up stuff!

G: I kept trying to look for this blood thing. I tried to look for it because I was like, [C laughs] "Surely it's like, something."

C: Like, "Surely, they didn't just make this up for no reason."

G: They made it up. They fully made it up. What's wrong with them?

C: Why? [laughing] Like, why?

G: I mean, this is where the like, just complete lack of consideration or research or anything comes in because just a little bit of digging, you can find literally anything else to do. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, I really don't get it. Like, none of the gods do anything regarding their powers except Ganesh turns into an elephant once.

G: Except Mercury. And Mercury has winged feet or whatever.

C: Yeah. He walks fast. I don't know.

G: I mean, Dean also runs fast. [both laugh] That's nothing.

C: But yeah, and Gabriel's like, "Don't worry. I'll get you out of here because while I have sex with Kali, I'll steal your blood back." Gabriel says that they shouldn't try to save the people in the freezer, and then Dean threatens to tell everyone that he's Gabriel, not Loki, unless he follows the Winchester's plan. I think, eventually, Gabriel's like, "Fine. I'll let you save the freezer people." I don't know. There's an exchange that's meant to be funny, and I guess it is funny compared to other things on the episode. [G: Yeah.] Where Gabriel was like, "I'll take your voices away," and Dean says, "We'll write it down." Then, he says, "I'll cut off your hands," and Dean says, "Well, then, people are gonna be asking, 'Why are you guys running around with no hands?'" [laughs] Pretty funny.

G: [laughs] Yeah. I mean, something I also want to point out is that Gabriel needed to be fucking convinced to let those people out of the freezer. And also that-

C: [laughing] And later, he's like, "And I'm doing this because I've grown to love Earth and its people!" [G laughs] What?

G: And also, he explicitly is doing this because he's "sentimental," as he puts it. Because he cares about these gods, and they're his family or whatever. Like, that's the thing.

C: Well, he cares about Kali specifically.

G: Yeah. Well, he did not give a fuck when everyone else died. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] I mean, it's just so frustrating that they tried to set up this thing, and then at the end, they're still like, "But ultimately, it's people who are the best!" [C laughing] Yeah, this is literally-

C: Just bad writing. I feel the people who are like, "'Hammer of the Gods' is a watchable episode" are like, "It's such a good Gabriel episode," but like, they're not even consistent with Gabriel character writing in any way whatsoever.

G: Yeah, like, Gabriel has literally never given a single shit about people. Is it actually so bad if he cares about these gods? Is it actually so horrible? Would that completely destroy whatever it is they're trying to do in Supernatural?

C: Christian supremacy.

G: I don't know. I mean, I don't even think it's Christian supremacy because he's still very paternalistic with them, even when it's like- it's never like they're equals.

C: Yeah, what they're trying to do with Supernatural is just "People have free will, and no one else does, and that makes them the best" or whatever whatever. But also like, only white Americans.

G: Yeah, and like, specially in comparison to everyone else who are secretly monsters. Angels? Monsters. Demons? Monsters. Vampires? Monsters. These polytheistic gods? Monsters. Like, only- [both laughing] What the fuck is wrong with this show?

C: Yeah, I mean, I think they're just doing the fantasy racism thing where humans means white people and all of the-

G: Yeah, and also doing the racist- racism racist things. [both laugh]

C: Yeah, and the racism racism. Okay, these gods do know each other because Kali had like, a romantic/sexual thing going on with Baldur. Like, why were they wearing name tags? [both laugh] Whatever, anyway.

G: Is it because the audience won't know? But like, I feel like if you already didn't know who Kali was, it doesn't matter. To you, if you're just watching it, that's just the woman on screen.

C: Yeah, and it's not like they use anything from the actual mythology of any of these gods.

G: And also, it's not like these characters are characterized so well or representative of whatever it is that they're trying to represent that you're like, "Wow, I really wish I knew that god's name so I can look it up. I'm so curious, I'm so interested." Like, that's never gonna happen, so why were they in name tags? [laughs]

C: I don't know. I don't know. It was literally just so they could flash the illustrations of them being scary? But you can just do that without even having the name tags.

G: Yeah. You can just zoom into a blank part of a t-shirt.

C: Whatever. We're getting really stuck on this name tag thing, but still.

G: It is mind-boggling. It's a mind-boggling choice.

C: It's just really dumb-looking.

-

G: So Kali's in her room and she's, I think, taking off her earrings or whatever. And Gabriel comes in. Kali's like, "Don't want you here." and Gabriel goes, "You always did play hard to get." And Kali's like, "Oh, I've moved on and everything." Gabriel's like, "Oh, you're with Baldur now." and Kali goes, "Baldur's uncomplicated." [both laugh]

C: She has an actual- like, she has a husband in the mythology. [G: Ah!] Yeah, I don't know. They have one god here who is a woman, and she's an Asian woman. Supernatural's track record with Asian women is horrible already. [G: Yeah.] And it's like, I don't know. Her main thing is that she's hot and redeemable because she's hot?

G: Yeah, and she has a white guy ex-boyfriend.

C: Yeah, and a white guy boyfriend.

G: Current. And also because Dean hits on her. [C: Yeah.] And also, in this situation, nobody else in this group of gods have romantic partners other than Kali and her boyfriend. Like, okay. Well. [C: Yeah.] What the hell?

C: Her cross-religion boyfriend.

G: Yeah. Wow, interfaith relationship representation! [laughs]

C: That's the word. [G: Yeah.] Don't know. Just, choices. Choices were certainly made. Should they have been? No. [laughs]

G: Sam and Dean are like trying to get fucking people out of the fridge or whatever. I forgot what they're doing. They're trying to get out?

C: I think they're trying to get the people out of the fridge, but then they've realize that it's too late because they're getting killed already. [G: Nice.] Where did they get the cannibalism from? [laughs] Like, why? [G: I don't know.] I think it's just like, older religion equals primitive equals human sacrifice equals "Thank god, we can kill them." Like, I feel like that was the thought process.

G: I mean, yeah, definitely.

C: And it's like, well, don't. [laughs]

G: Did they already bring out that fucking head of a guy? Or is that later.

C: They brought it out when Sam and Dean get brought in to the conference room. Mercury or someone says, "Dinner is served," and it's the head of a guy.

G: That's later, or that's already-?

C: No, that was earlier. That was like in the gods' intros.

G: I hated that scene, too. They didn't even cook that guy right. [C laughs] [C: For real.] I have sat beside an open fire pit rotating a fucking pig in my life, and like, they didn't even do that to this guy. [both laughing] This poor guy, his skin is so uncrispy! What are they doing?

C: Yeah, no. Whenever there's like, a meat dish, and it's like, bad, it's like, something died for this. [G: No, yeah.] [laughs] Try a little harder.

G: Yeah, Gabriel and Kali are like, semi-flirting or whatever.

C: Gabriel says that they should leave and check out Pandora. Where? What does he mean? They didn't even do research on Greek mythology?

G: I was kind of confused by this. I was like, "Are they gonna go to the jewelry shop?" [laughs]

C: Are they going to the jewelry shop? Are they going to see the woman of Greek mythology? That's not a place.

G: Yeah, "We're gonna go to the Mall of America." is what Gabriel meant. [C laughs] Why are these guys here in fucking Indiana? [C: I don't know.] Fuckass nowhere Indiana?

C: No, literally. The point is like, "You Westerners, blah blah blah." Like, okay, was it just wherever Sam and Dan were? But like, the hotel signage was already "Elysian Fields," so like, it was- Well, that was like Greek, though, and there's only a Roman god here. There's not a Greek god here. [G: Yeah.] So actually, I don't know. So it's not like it was formerly owned by Mercury, unless it's also called Elysian Fields in Roman mythology?

G: I mean, allegedly, it's for Sam and Dean, but like-

C: I also think that they should be powerful enough to just zap them to wherever they want, but clearly not, according to Supernatural.

G: Gabriel's trying to convince her to not do all this and just leave, whatever. Anyway, they start making out. And then this is interspersed with, like, Sam and Dean trying to get people out of the freezer. I don't know. They get stopped, and at the same time, Kali reveals that she has gotten Gabriel's blood. So it, like, works on angels, too? Like, that's a vessel. You can just zap out of the vessel.

C: I mean, maybe not? In that case, she could've just gotten Lucifer's blood, and like, we would have been fine. [laughs] [G: Yeah.] But no, she's just too weak.

G: That literally could have been the game plan.

C: Literally. Just get Kali to like, do her blood magic, which isn't actually part of her role in Hinduism, on Lucifer.

G: Yeah. And then just like, make him stay in a room. Captive archangel.

C: Literally just stay in a room. Gabriel's an archangel. Lucifer's an archangel. I don't think he's more powerful.

G: As they, like, go out, I don't know.

C: So is the Ghostfacers ad part of the episode, or?

G: [laughing] No, okay, I forgot about- I forgot literally everything about this episode. But yeah, there is a Ghostfacers ad. I don't think it's part of an episode. I think they're, at this point, trying to-

C: Advertise the webseries?

G: Yeah, the webseries, which- Should we watch that?

C: Already seen a clip with Cas in it, which is the only-

G: Yeah, it's the only important thing. Yeah, [laughs] there's an Asian woman there, too.

C: Yeah. Maggie Zeddmore.

G: Yeah. Hi, Maggie!

C: Hi, Maggie again! Yeah, there's an advertisement for the Ghostfacers webseries. It seems to be around them having a new intern, is sort of the thing that happens in the ad. I don't know. They are pretty funny. It ends with, "If you're dead, you better stay dead. Because if not, we're gonna kill you." [both laugh]

G: Which is, of course, the Supernatural motto of all time. [C: Yeah.] "Saving people, hunting things, the family business" is out. "If you're dead, you better stay dead. 'Cause if not, we're gonna kill you" is in.

C: I wish I was watching the Ghostfacers webseries and not this episode. [G laughs] [G: Honestly-' Maybe that's why they put it in this episode. They're like, "You hate racism? Come, give us money on our Ghostfacers webseries."

G: Yeah, I mean, honestly, the Ghostfacers song is still pretty good. [laughs] Like, it's still very fun. "Ghostfacers!"

C: Yeah. What is it? "We face the ghosts when the others will not"?

G: Love that!

-

C: Oh, yeah, during the reveal that Kali has Gabriel's blood, she also reveals that she knows that he's Gabriel and not Loki. They all show up back in the conference room.

G: I feel like they could have chosen a better hotel. [C laughs] Sam says it's a four-star hotel.

C: I guess they needed one that wasn't so fancy that Sam and Dean wouldn't go. Yeah, I was a bit surprised that this was considered a four-star hotel. Maybe I'm like, a snob, though.

G: Oh, I'm definitely a snob.

C: I've really only been in hotels in China. Or like, I've been to some US hotels, but not many, and I think maybe the standards are different.

G: I have been to hotels where I didn't stay, but like, I would be in the event hall or whatever.

C: Yeah, lobbies and things are usually done up way nicer than the rooms.

G: Yeah, and like, the room, fine, whatever. Sometimes there's a crappy room in a four-star hotel. But like, fucking... the ballroom hall? The grand ballroom hall of a fucking four-star hotel looks like this?

C: I guess they just fixed it up. Like, it was kind of decrepit before, so maybe they didn't put all the decor in that it previously had?

G: Can't they just manifest, like, a new one? Whatever. Who give a shit. This episode is bad in all the levels.

C: They can't even defeat Lucifer, Grey. They can't have any interior decorating powers.

G: Yeah, they can't hire the Property Brothers? Like, come on. [laughs]

C: God! What a show that was so boring!

G: Property Brothers? [C: Yeah.] It's like Supernatural if Sam and Dean were Property Brothers. [C laughs] [C: Yeah, exactly.] Yeah, I have actually never seen that show.

C: I mean, nothing on HGTV is interesting. It's HGTV.

G: What are other HGTV shows?

C: Uh, Love It or List It. Um...

G: I love the show that's like, they go in, and they're like, "I want that truck." [laughs]

C: What?

G: But it's not a truck.

C: This isn't on HGTV, is it?

G: No no no, it's like, it's not a truck, but it's like, the back of the truck, and they don't know what's inside, and they're like, "I want that one." I don't think it's the back of the truck, but it looks like the back of a truck. It's like a big box, and they open it.

C: What? What is this show?

G: [laughs] And then they bid on it! Storage Unit! Storage Wars?

C: Is this is a HGTV show?

G: Storage Wars. This is a show in- It's an American reality show in the AME network, so I was completely wrong. I mean, HGTV.

C: I mean, House Hunter's the big one.

G: House Hunters. Is this the little house? Small house?

C: No, House Hunters is just general a house-finding show. I think that there's a tiny house show, yeah. There's whichever show Chip and Joanna do. Yeah. Anyway, this has been shows that are on HGTV. [G: Nice.]

Okay, so they're in the ballroom, which has bad interior decor. So Kali takes Gabriel's archangel blade.

G: Oh, this is the first time we see an archangel blade, which I think is significant. I don't think they really do a good job of showing that it looks different. They do a very bad job on everything this episode, including that one.

C: And she's she doesn't trust Gabriel anymore with his whole like, "You gotta leave and not try to defeat Lucifer" blah blah blah. And this is where Kali's speech goes. So Gabriel says, "I've skipped ahead, and I've seen how the story ends." And she says, "Your story. Not ours. Westerners, I swear. The sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on Earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God's name. But you're not the only religion, and he's not the only God. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us. An we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me." And then, she says, "I'm sorry." and stabs Gabriel. But yeah, okay. So, I don't know. Thoughts? We've mentioned this speech before.

G: Yeah. Bad! No, I mean, they thought they were trying to do something. [C: Yeah.] It's just that everything else they did was also so bad, it's unreal, so this doesn't matter. This doesn't mean anything.

C: Yeah, I think it's the fact that it's like, so you understand that this is a race thing, what you're doing here, and you still did the rest of it? [G: Yeah.] Like, they explicitly made it a race thing, and then they killed all of them. Like, in some ways, it makes it worse. [laughs]

G: I want to know what the thought process of making this episode was! Were they like, "No, we should do this. It's so cool, it's so cool." And someone was like, "Um, I feel like it's a bit... [C laughs] racist?" And they were like, "Oh, I know what we're going to do. We're going to-"

C: "Oh, don't worry. Don't worry about that."

G: "We're going to put a fucking monologue where the one Asian woman in here goes, 'Ugh, you guys are so racist!'" And it's like- [both laughing] They should hire us. We'd succeed at that. I feel like we can do that very effectively.

C: Yeah, no. I agree. It's time. She sets this up as a thing, and then later, when Lucifer kills all of them, it's like, "Well, now they are the only religion."

G: Yeah. And also like, it's so- you know, "There's billions of us." There's like, five people in this room or whatever, and like, I don't know. It's just the idea that, like-

C: They're representative of like, [G: Yeah.] all the people who are Hindus or follow any of the other religions here. [G: Yeah.] It makes the murders worse. [G: Yeah.] 'Cause it's like, "This is Supernatural's stand-in for people outside of the US. It's like, these five people in this room, and we're gonna kill all but one."

G: Yeah. And also, like, you know, like, her just being like, "There's so many of us." Where's that fucking number, man? Supernatural makes it such that they are representative of one aspect of their religion, and their conception of it is "Oh, she's gonna be less powerful than Lucifer," who's not even God, by the way. [C: Yeah.] But like, the idea that they're doing is like, the power is like fucking separated, or like, you know, it's rationed between the gods or whatever. And it's like, it's just so stupid. Everything's so stupid. And yeah, like, it's incredibly disrespectful, obviously?

C: What? It's- it's what? What? Huh? Really?

G: Yeah. Apparently, it's not obvious, this reveal, yeah. [C laughs] No one has ever said that "Hammer of the Gods" is disrespectful, ever. We're the first ones to ever do that.

C: We're so brave. [G laughs] I don't know. I feel like there should be more to say with this about this speech, but I don't know if there is. It's just- The actress is trying the best with the material she's given, but everything about the rest of the episode just laughs in the face of this.

G: Also, the fact that they call this Apocalypse the "Judeo-Christian apocalypse," and then here, they equate that to, like, Westerners, and being like, "Oh, you pillage and butcher in your God's name," which is, you know, like, yeah. But, like, the fact that they called it Judeo? Judeo-Christian? [laughs] Like, what's wrong with Supernatural? It's like, it's just- it's so- I don't know. It feels antisemitic to have that lumped together as like, [C: Yeah.] "Judaism is part of the Western world that went to other countries with the pillaging and the butchering."

C: Yeah. Like, who did the Crusades again? Hmm.

G: Like, okay. What the fuck?

C: After she stabs Gabriel, he screams and dies, it seems. And Kali's like, "Okay, great. Well, we can now use this blade to kill Lucifer." And then Dean says truly a line. He says, "Alright, you primitive screwheads. Listen up."

G: This entire thing is wild.

C: Why'd he say that? Why'd he say that?

G: They just did the Kali speech. Like, they just did the Kali speech. And then, Dean literally goes, "Okay. Enough of that progressive bullshit."

C: Like, "You're calling me racist? I'll show you racist." [laughs]

G: Why am I in shock? [laughs]

C: Why'd he do that? Why did he do that?

G: Many people are asking this question.

C: And okay, Sam, who, I don't know, took one world religions class at Stanford, is like, "Are you out of your mind?" Dean says that he's out of options, and that on any other day, he'd be doing his damnedest to kill "you filthy, murdering chimps." I think that it is not difficult to understand the racial implications of that phrase, [laughs] especially directed at gods who include Black men. But, you know. Whatever. And then he says again, "Though I'd love nothing better to just slit your throats," he says, "I'm gonna help you ice the devil." Why would they need your help, Dean? Like, you're literally some guy.

G: They literally should just kill you. [C: Yeah.] Like, I think if they just keep Sam and Dean like, I don't know, away. Like, they just put them in a room. This is my solution to everything.

C: Take their voices away. If you just kept their voices away forever, like, couldn't they not say yes to Michael and Lucifer?

G: Yeah, and then cut off their hands when they can't write, too. Like, come on. [laughs]

C: Exactly! And then he says, "And then we can all get back to ganking each other like normal."

G: Why do you feel like they want to kill you like? That's your problem. You're so self-important. You think about yourself so much, Dean Winchester. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, I don't- You just met all these people today. Like, I don't think you're gonna go back to chasing each other around and killing each other or whatever. They have better things to do, and better places to be. [G: Yeah.] He says that he and Sam can get Lucifer here. Untrue. Only Sam is involved in this.

G: Yeah. He's inflating his role.

C: And he says that it'll help as long as they let the rest of the people in the freezer go.

-

G: So Sam and Dean and are now ushering all the people out, and they're running, and Gabriel "psst!"s at Dean from the car. Dean goes in, and they start having this heart to heart. Oh, also, Sam is not ushering these people. Sam’s like, fucking inside. Dean and Gabriel has this heart to heart where Dean's like, "Wow, man. I thought you died." And Gabriel's like, "No! I'm not gonna give her my real sword." Gabriel says that Dean needs to get their blood so they can go, and Dean goes, "No. Hand over the real blade. Better yet, why don't you sack up and help us take down Lucifer?" Gabriel's like, "Why are you doing all this? Why are you buddies with all of these monsters? That's what they all are to you, right?"

C: What were they trying to do with this? [G: I don't know.] This specific- Gabriel meant it like he's criticizing Dean for thinking that way. Is he?

G: For, like, thinking they're all monsters? [C: Yes?] Yeah.

C: He says pointedly. Yeah, okay. Is he just offended because he doesn't think Kali is a monster? [laughs] Like, he's totally fine with everyone else dying. [G

G: I mean, I don't know. They tried to do the thing where like, "Those are your real family." [C: Yeah.] Anyway, Dean is like, "You are lying to yourself! This is not about anything! This is about, like, how you want to save your family! And your real family, the people in there." And Gabriel's like, "Well, they stabbed me in the fucking heart." But Dean says, "Yeah, but you will always give a crap about them, right?" [both laughing] And he says that in that voice. Yeah, anyway, Gabriel says, "I can't kill my brother." And Dean says, "Can't or won't?" And when Gabriel fails to answer, Dean goes, "That's what I thought." So he goes out, goes back in. Kali is asking Sam about summoning Lucifer, and Sam says, "Yeah, I just need you to squeegee some stuff out of my ribs, and then he'll like, find me." And Kali goes, "Breaking them would be easier." Which did make me think, like, Sam and Dean get tossed around a lot. Surely, they sustained some damaged ribs, some broken ribs. [C: Yeah.] How does that work? Yeah. This is something Cas didn't consider. Maybe that's why Cas is always like, "No, I need to heal you real fast!" It's 'cause or else, all the angels will go swarming towards them. Anyway, Dean busts in, and he's like, "Yeah, the sword is fake and everything. Gabriel's still alive, and you have been tricked." But in the main room, but in the lobby, Lucifer is already in there, [C: Why?] and he rings the bell and etc. They haven't even broken Sam's ribs yet.

C: Yeah, no, how did he get- Oh, wait. He says Mercury called him, I guess?

G: No, I think that's just like, a turn of phrase.

C: But Mercury replies, and he says, "The way the talk is heading in there, it's insane." Does that- Well, I guess he says it when he's like, scared, so I can't tell if it's like, "I called you in here because I feel like the talk in there is insane." or if Lucifer just showed up, and Mercury is just trying to save his ass. It's hard for me to tell. Lucifer has a little speech, [laughs] which we've referenced during this episode already, but he goes, "You know, I never understood you pagans. Always fighting. [G: I'll stop you right there.] Always happy to sell out your own kind."

G: I'll stop you right there. [C: Yeah.] "Pagans." Incredibly fucking- that's like, that's not true! I don't think you can call Hindus pagans. Like, that's untrue, right?

C: I think "pagan" was sort of just a term that Christians made up to call non-Christians.

G: Yeah, but like, I don't know! The fact that- I don't know. And the thing is like, the way they present it here, if it's Lucifer just being like, "I'm secretly evil. I'm wrong." Well, "I'm openly evil, and I'm secretly wrong." But like, it's not. We're supposed to see this and be like, "I mean, Lucifer's evil, but like, he's so real for that."

C: "He's so deep, so true." Yeah. The hard facts coming from him.

G: And I mean, it's just, even as like a "It's coming from an evil guy" or whatever, it's still, I think, incredibly disrespectful! [C: Yeah.] And like, no wonder they didn't air this in India! Are you kidding?

C: Yeah. [laughs] "Always fighting, always happy to sell your own kind." [G: Fuck you.] First, [laughs] have you seen the schisms in Christianity? [G laughs] Yeah, also, the "happy to sell out your own kind" seems to be about Mercury calling him in, right? But it's like, well, these people aren't- It just doesn't make sense to lump all non-Christian religions together. And it's like, "Oh, you're betraying, like, the pagan institution by doing whatever whatever." [G: Yeah.] Like, they're all like, their own religions that are complex. Like, it's just, I don't know. It's very flattening in addition to disrespectful and offensive.

G: And of course, he goes, "You're worse than humans. You're worse than demons. And yet, you claim to be gods."

C: "And yet, you claim to be gods." He also says, "No wonder you forfeited this planet to us." [laughs] Like, they did? When?

G: I mean, the bit about like, "You're always fighting, always happy to sell out your own kind." really does- that, it grinds my gear so so so so bad. [C: Yeah.] Because that is a legitimate justification that historically has been used to impose like, missionary work and to impose colonialism. Like, that is a talking point. You know, and it's like, I don't know, to apply it to your cast of characters who are gods that you have distinctly put apart from "Western" is so egregious! It's so egregious. Man, fuck this show!

C: I just don't understand why these were what Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin considered cold, hard facts delivered by Lucifer. Then, he starts attacking, and with just absolutely no ceremony, just in like, one punch, basically, kills Odin, kills Ganesh, kills Baron Samedi, and yeah, they're gone. Oh, wait! I totally forgot! Didn't Dean kill Zao Shen earlier? [G: When?] Like, I think he did that.

G: I mean, I'm sure Sam and Dean definitely did kill someone.

C: No, they killed Zao Shen like, way earlier, and I just totally forgot about it because it was such a non-thing.

G: I remember. It's the part where, like, because with Gabriel, right? The fucking spike dipped in blood or whatever they used to kill, quote unquote "the Trickster," who they at that time thought was a god, they used the same thing to kill Zao Shen, and it's like, those are from different mythologies. [C: Yeah.] And like, they just have a generic kill?

C: I'd assume that most religions don't have a [both] "how you kill your god" thing because of how I feel like most gods aren't supposed to be killable.

G: And they also use that way to kill the people from the Christmas episode. That's how they do it. [C: Yes.] And so like, the fact that all of these are equalized, and whatever. I don't know. It's so fucking stupid.

C: Yeah. I can't believe we forgot that Dean literally killed that guy. Well, he did literally kill that guy, and he's the first one to die, and I feel like that that feels connected to the fact that he doesn't speak English. Like, I feel like that makes him more disposable in the Supernatural episode.

G: Yeah, like, you can't have a speech about dying. [laughs]

C: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. So it's like, yeah. Even if Lucifer kills most of the gods this episode, and you can maybe say, "Well, he's Lucifer. He's bad." Like, Dean did one of them, [G: Yeah.] and it was considered a good and fine thing to do.

G: Maybe that's why they were trying to make it seem like he was the one responsible for the kitchen or whatever. 'Cause they were like, "Dean's gonna kill him later, so we have to justify that."

C: Yeah, he's like, biggest cannibalism guy or whatever.

G: Anyway, Lucifer comes in.

C: He kills all those people [G: Yeah.] just immediately. And there's no mourning for any of them. It's literally just like, "Isn't this a cool visual that he explodes a bunch of gods of real religions to show how powerful he is?"

G: Yeah. And the only ones remaining are Kali and Baldur. Anyway, Sam and Dean, they're like, "No, you have to take us out of here," but they can't. Baldur tries to do a fucking "Who do you think you are?" thing, but Lucifer kills him. And it's just Kali now, and she starts lighting up, like, on fire. [laughs] She tries to, I guess kill Lucifer but did nothing. Gabriel shows up beside Sam and Dean to save his girlfwiend! [C laughs] But before that, he hands Dean a copy of Casa Erotica, and he tells him to guard it with his entire life. Yeah, Gabriel steps in and like, holds out his sword towards Lucifer, and then makes Sam and Dean usher Kali out.

C: We never know where they take her.

G: We never know where they take her.

C: And she never shows up again.

G: Yeah. And this is what I mean when I was like, "It's so paternalistic." [laughs]

C: Yeah, yeah, it is. If she got a bit of his blood, like, we'd be good. [laughs]

G: Yeah, I don't know, man.

C: I think also the fact that she doesn't like, mourn Ganesh or anybody visibly either. [G: Yeah.] It seems like it would mean something that literally Ganesh got killed.

G: Yeah. But they don't give a fuck. Lucifer and Gabriel start talking, and they're like, "Whoa! You want to be on the side of these damn gods?" And Gabriel's like, "No! I'm on the side of people!" [C laughs] And then I don't know. Lucifer's like, "I always know who you are." Then he turns around and Gabriel is actually behind him, and then he uses Gabriel's sword to stab Gabriel, and then Gabriel dies, and it's like, a double bluff that didn't work or whatever.

C: Yeah. Can you believe they put Kali in the backseat?

-

C: So we're later, and I guess Sam and Dean have dropped Kali off somewhere. Like, where, though? Like, an airport to go to India or like, where would she go? Whatever. Hope she's doing alright? So they're watching the Casa Erotica tape that Gabriel gave them. And, I don't know. There's a woman there, and she's not very dressed. She's a "high-powered business president" writing in her diary, and then Gabriel shows up as room service. He's Hungarian in this? I don't know. They start fucking, but then he turns to the camera, removes his mustache and then says to Sam and Dean that if they're watching this, he's dead, and they can't kill Lucifer, but they can trap him by putting him back in the cage. And the way to do that-

G: Is the four rings of the Four Horsemen.

C: Yeah. You have to create a super key thing, blah blah blah. And then he goes back to fucking that woman. Yeah, whatever. They said that they already have Famine's, but like, they don't have Famine's.

G: They do, yeah.

C: What? No. We never saw them take the ring. [G: They did!] Sam- Famine's? Sam killed him with his demon powers. There was no, like, finger cutting off.

G: They knew that it was the finger or the ring that was the thing.

C: Okay, so it's not unlikely that they would have taken it off him after. [G: Yeah.] Okay, sure.

G: And there's like, flashback footage. It's pretty funny. [laughs] They do a flashback footage and they're like, "Oh, we got War's ring," and it flashes back real quick to them getting War's ring. [laughs] "We got Famine's," and then it flashes back.

C: They don't get Famine's in the flashback. It just shows the ring being on his finger. [G: Yeah.] Yeah. So they now have Pestilence and Death left, and we have a brief scene where Pestilence-

G: Comes in and sneezes on everything.

C: Yeah. His car license plate says "sick and tired" [G: Oh, that's what it means!] which is how I feel about this episode.

G: I was like, "sick and turd"? [C: Turd?] I couldn't figure it out. I was like, they really put emphasis on it, and I could not for the love of god understand what they're trying to tell me.

C: But yeah, he just shows up in a store, and there's like, flies buzzing all around him, and like, there's a whole bunch of snot going on.

G: It is so disgusting.

C: It's really gross. They did a good job at making it really gross. Yeah. Gets his snot-covered fingers all over everything, etc, etc. And that's the episode!

-

G: Well, this episode is bad, obviously. [C: Yes.] Yeah. [laughs] Best Line/Worst Line.

C: [laughs] Well, I think we all know that the worst line is "Listen up, you primitive screwheads," unless there's another worst line?

G: I mean, I think there's just such a breadth and depth of bad lines in this episode. [C: Yeah.] That one's pretty bad. I don't know. I suppose I really hate the part where they were like, "Oh, the turtle! Oh, the wolf!" That exchange.

C: Oh, Lucifer's speech was really bad too.

G: Yeah. Everything's horrible.

C: "You're worse than demons. You all infight," blah blah blah.

G: Best line. [laughs]

C: When Dean goes, [laughs] "Well, then, people are gonna be asking, 'Why are you guys running around with no hands?'"

G: Yeah. That was pretty funny. That's it! What's that? What's the next one?

C: Spreadsheet. I think we know [laughs] the number of points in the racism category.

G: Okay, well, so the racism, obviously a 5. If we can go, higher we will. [C: Yeah.] This is so egregious. I mean, I always knew it was egregious, but like, I don't know. Because this is an episode I have on purpose not interfaced with because I knew it was bad. But like, if you don't interface with something, you kind of forget just how bad it was. But, my god! It's horrible!

C: And then I think there is misogyny in the way that they treat Kali.

G: Definitely, and I do think it's fundamental to the episode. [C: Yeah.] Like a 3?

C: Yeah, so 3. Yeah, 3 seems right.

G: Wow! And they don't even have homophobia.

C: Homophobia, I don't think so.

G: Yeah. They got an 8. The highest I think we've ever had in the show.

C: Yeah. Woot woot. Alright.

G: Okay. Rating. I cannot imagine this being highly rated, because even without all of the bullshit, which you can't remove from the episode, it's also just bad! It's a bad episode!

C: It's messy. Just doesn't make sense, it's not fun, it's not anything.

G: What's your guess?

C: I don't know how low a bad rating Supernatural episode is. Like, I don't know. 7.9? I feel like that's too low, though. I'll just go for that.

G: My guess is also 7.9. [C: Okay.] I'll go 7.8, 'cause- [C: Okay.] for diversity. [laughs] [C: Cool.] Okay, let's see. Oh my god!

C: Is it high?

G: Oh my god! It's a 9.0.

C: What?

G: It's a 9.0.

C: Are we sure about that?

G: Yes.

C: But why? Do people like Gabriel? His storyline didn't make any sense!

G: They love Gabriel.

C: That's why? That's what they're saying?

G: This one, "Time to grow up: a loyalty lesson from Gabriel."

C: "Greatest acting performance of all the Supernatural episodes"?

G: "What can I say? Gabriel's speech was awesome. He wasn't a demon, but he read Lucifer's mind since he disobeyed." Okay, well, who give a shit? "I don't understand all the hate."

C: The second one is- [sighs] oh, okay. "When has the show actually been a hundred percent accurate for anything?"

G: It's not about the accuracy! It's not about the accuracy!

C: "It's pretty liberal on all the details and lore for the monsters." Interesting term.

G: It's about the complete fucking disrespect for an existing religion that they did not bother to know anything about. At least when they're like, fucking doing bullshit with Christianity, they're like, aware of it.

C: "They are going to write things that they feel will get the viewers attention. It's probably safe to say that the majority of the viewers DON't actually bother to research everything in the supernatural world." Hinduism is the third biggest religion in the world! [screams]

G: "If they want to show a bunch of random Gods as being childish cannibals looking to reclaim the planet, then let them do it. [C screams] You don't have to like the episode like every other sheep in the flock. Just know that artistic liberties will ALWAYS be taken when they can."

C: I don't think they will always be taken when they can, and sometimes they really shouldn't be. Okay, the next person is Hindu and mentions that they dislike "the myopic view the show's writers have of the other religions.Ganesha is a God we Hindus revere, we pray to him before beginning any important. He is the God who removes obstacles. And you guys show him as a human meat eater? I know this show is fictional, and I LOVE it, but I mean come on guys? Show a little respect here!!" So true!

G: Yeah. I mean-

C: [laughs] Fucking CubsandCulture. "This is one of the very best episodes of the show." Sorry, do you have something to say about the previous review?

G: No, no, I was just like- go on, go on. Why did you laugh at CubsandCulture this way? Is there anything?

C: No, I just- I feel like we see them all the time, and apparently, this is one of the very best episodes of the show. Great. Okay, great. Great. "Add in the show at least tries to de-westernize the underlying mythology [G screams] -Kali complaining about Western arrogance really hits home." Okay. Okay.

G: I think maybe what it is is that there's like, pushback to this episode being bad and racist, and so they're all like, "Nooo!"

C: And so people are like, "Oh, you snowflakes," and they all come in and rate it 10 stars.

G: That is actually so horrible. [C: Yeah.] Man, I'm so sorry to every, like, Hindu person specifically who watched this. [C: Yeah.] "Best episode this season so far!" The last two episodes are actually like, really good! [laughs]

C: 5.18 was good!

G: "Can't stop hating this episode."

C: Yeah, boomshiva says, "Maa Kali can blow your Lucifer into the size of an ant's ass if she wishes." Real.

G: And like, the thing is like, I always say this about Supernatural, right? Some of the things they do, if that was the only thing they did, I would give them the benefit of the doubt because, like, you know, sometimes, it's like, whatever. The intentions don't read well or whatever. But like, because of the history of what Supernatural is as a show, and the things that they do in the show, and what the show is in and of itself, it's hard to give Supernatural the benefit of the doubt. Barring all that, even if this is a show where you can give all the benefit of all the doubt, this episode is still so egregiously bad. So like, I don't know. I cannot- That's like, my pushback against that one review that's like, "But they treat everything this way!" And it's like you know damn well that an American show that is as white and as racist as Supernatural treating Christian, whatever, mythology [laughs], I don't know, that way is very different from what they're doing here, and it's just completely ignorant to be like, "No, but they do it for everything!" You know that that's, one, not true, and you know that the implications are different, even if they do the exact same thing. So yeah, whatever. So fucking annoying.

C: Yeah. Most of these reviews are people weighing in on the "and stop being offended" or "this was shitty" debate.

G: Yeah. This one says, "Do not criticize without knowing the fact. The reason you call it Pagan is because you are too immature to understand it. [both laugh] Kindly don't fall below your standards again and portray the eastern traditions in such a poor way." And like, this is-this part, "Do not criticize without knowing the fact," like, that's also, I suppose, what I was trying to say earlier, [laughs] but this person summarized it in one sentence. But like, when they're disrespecting fucking Christianity or whatever, [laughs] when they're disrespecting vampire lore or whatever, [C laughs] they know. Like, they know the facts of the matter. They understand the cultural context, the historical context or whatever. This one comes from a place of such severe ignorance and blatant, blatant not giving a fuck about it that you cannot equate it as being equal because criticizing something that you're familiar with, and you know for sure, versus something that you heard one thing about once, and you never bothered to hear about again are completely different things. [C: Yep. Yep.] [laughing] I'm going to kill everyone in this reviews [both laugh] except the people that I agree with.

C: Yeah, no. A lot of people are weighing in.

G: And then this one review is like, "Finally, the Joey reference. So funny when Dean asked Kali, 'How you doin'?' [C laughing] I have always thought that Dean looks and acts a lot like Joey in Friends and I have been waiting for him to say that line - in that voice. Loved it!" [C laughs]

C: I'm glad somebody somewhere is having fun!

G: And they gave it 8 out of 10, [both laughs] so they knew the episode was bad, even if they loved this line. I respect that. And then this one is like, "Yeah, the pagan gods are weakened because people did not believe them anymore." Fuck off!

C: Like, bro. [laughs]

G: There are more reviews for this than like, literally any other episode of Season 5 that we have gone through, seems like.

C: Well, I don't know. Everyone's wrong except for the people who are right at the end.

G: Towards the bottom. The reviews up top are very positive for some reason, but actually, if you scroll down, most of them are one-star reviews of being like, "This is so horrible." [laughs] This one calls it "an equal-opportunity offender." [laughs] I love that. Yeah, I want to say many people don't like this episode in these reviews, I think it just got the opposite of review-bombed by people who are pushing back against the pushback. [C: Yeah.] Yeah, well.

C: Ugh! Alright.

G: Well, that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 5, Episode 20: "The Devil You Know." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Don't know anything about this episode.

G: What do you think is the devil that we know?

C: Not Lucifer? [both laugh]

G: Oh, they're using the term devil nebulously. They also mean demon. Who's the demon we know?

C: Crowley?

G: Yeah! [C: Cool.] He's gonna be in next episode. Yeah.

G: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, which is where our outtakes live, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com. G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. And like, for this episode specifically, if like, you want to talk about it, do it. Yay! [laughs] Okay, anyway. Yeah, that's it. Thank you so much. [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

[keefwho]

August 24 - 2023 Thursday

7:17 AM

I intend to start checking on my thoughts like I meant to before when I told myself I was gonna go hard with the monitoring. I went too hard though and scheduled too much, so I've cut it down to a more reasonable amount at reasonable time. In the morning, during lunch, and after work. Then at the end of the day I have the daily journal which is it's own kind of self reflection.

This morning I'm thinking that it's only inevitable before I slip up and find myself in a weird place again. I'm having the thought that what I go through is a repeating cycle that might never fundamentally change. I'm feeling the resistance to change I have towards everything, even if it's positive. Because even though I'm putting myself in places that feel good for me, I have mental pushback. It's mostly from that place that wants me to fail because I find weird comfort in failing on my own terms.

2:19 PM

I'm having the thought that I won't be able to stop myself from slipping away. I'm imagining myself failing a lot. I'm seeing myself regress and losing my sense of self again. I'm doubting my own capabilities. I'm also thinking that I can only have negative thoughts, that positive ones should be repressed. I'm feeling afraid that I'm doing something wrong in important facets of my life. Like eventually something I didn't notice will make everything violently crash down. For positive thoughts I'm thinking that I'm making noticeable progress in being more aware of my actions and thoughts. I'm thinking that if I stay the course and keep evaluating myself, I can keep getting better.

10:55 PM

Here I am again, a person named Keith writing his daily journal entry on Tumblr. He is 27 years old, stuck in the middle of nowhere trying to figure out who he is while clinging on to the only digital friends he has.

This morning I had leftover beef stew for breakfast. I had some onion in the fridge and I decided to not be lazy and dice the onion to put in the beef stew while I re-cooked it on the stove. I watch a bit of a youtube video about EPCOT for my bestie since I've always wanted to know more about what EPCOT actually is. It fascinated me.

The stream went well, I'm still doing one color study a day and it's helping me learn. I did commissions like usual and a little personal project time.

Right after work I gave myself a haircut since my hair was getting long enough to have to bend it out of my eyes. I think I did a good job but it has to settle in for a few days.

Lunch was a few fish sticks and a pack of ramen. I really enjoyed making the ramen, it was top ramen which I was in the mood for as opposed to maruchan. For some reason the coke I always have at lunch hit real hard today.

For the second part of my work I hung out in discord but it was quite loud and I got annoyed. My eyes were also becoming strained. I stuck around for the duration of my productive time and left afterwards.

The afternoon was pretty bland, I played some Hearts of Iron and did some lolligagging. Nothing eventful. I ended up taking care of myself for the first time in a few days and even finished it off with my bestie which was nice. Afterwards we played Zelda and thats all I did until it was time to get ready for bed.

[kulliare]

timeline anon back again! Omg I feel the same the whole of 2×06 I was watching it thinking. That's just John mulaney and Sarah Paulton. What're they doing here? It was wacky

I think you're right about the writers retconning or straight up forgetting their own details lol..but my timeline idea is so rough it's basically. Carmy moves out at 19 or 20, goes to New York or somewhere first for a few years -> (but not the s1 nightmare New York stuff) -> goes to Copenhagen -> 2×06 Christmas Dinner is the same year as copenhagen (w luca! I did really like that detail hehe. Amazed Carmy had any friends 💀) -> afterwards he dives back to New York to escape his family and works at the scary Chef Joel place all the way up until Mikeys death and then he returns to The Beef. Hm. Sort of a rough mess but that's the way it makes sense in my head

Hope you're having a nice soup day too!

it honestly took me out of it a little bit. i don't know sarah but whenever john was on screen i was like... huh.. what.. but i was still too confused by the chaos to really care and it still was an a+ ep

agree with carmy leaving around that age-- i think he does go to culinary school during that time (he's worked at the bear for awhile so he would be considered a good option, might be able to get scholarship bc of that? im so sorry to the ppl who actually work in kitchens i feel like an academic trying to talk abt something on my high horse and getting all the details wrong) but with his like emphasis on learning fundamentals in kitchens it makes sense.

tbh i imagine w luca its like. linkedin friends but it counts for carmy he needs a W wherever he can get lol. and it really was nice to hear people did have good impressions of carmy like.. i wish he could've heard that too but i guess it would've also fed into his idea that work is the only way he can get any value like. ugh nasty boy. i kind of like that he ended up being a bit more nasty this season but i think it's bc i like unlikeable protags in small doses

WHAT I REALLY wonder is how they're going to handle s3-- i think i'd actually be happy for it to end at s3 bc i'm terrified of shows generally losing the plot and main character ideas as the show goes on. i liked s2 but in my brain i'm still treating s1 as main canon and s2 a possibility of what might've happened because of the Fear.

my wants for carmy are for him to actually get more into therapy, but i doubt that's going to happen before he has a final breakdown that finally gets him to finally realize he can't live like this. one interesting detail that i don't think will come up in the show is that noma is actually closing due to similar issues that the bear brings up-- if they bring it up i think it'll be interesting but at the same time i want carmy to actually break down and not too worked up over minor interesting facts

[trhor]

okay, okay, I love this ask game. 4, 14, 19, and 43 for your fave!

Hi thank you for asking, these questions are a challenge and I think for you my dear, you're gonna a mix answers.

#4 Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know? Three deaths have fundamentally changed Hamish. The first death, his brother's meant he was no longer the spare. He was now heir to the throne and he wasn't prepared for it and there was nothing he could do about it. Then there was his father's death, it came quick and unexpected. He was barely learning the ropes of being heir, now he had to be the head of the household and now, he's also the king but he has his wife. Isobel was his greenlight, his soulmate, really truly his everything. So when she's gets sick, he felt powerless and when she died something died in him too. He gets a little colder and more detached, buried himself in work trying to avoid feeling grief or really an negative emotion. He isn't really as warm as he once was, he's more aloof and just different. His family can see a change but to the people he seems like a strong and capable leader. In the end, it doesn't necessarily matter how he feels or how he's changed if he's doing a good job. Right?

#14 Does your character remember names or faces easier? Hamish is really good about remember faces. Names are always on the tip of his tongue but as long as he can recall your face he can keep up an entire conversations without ever needing to utter your name.

#19 What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before? Macsen is inherently selfish and entitled, he spent his entire life being handed everything he could want on a silver platter or rather gold platter, so for him, he's never necessarily had to work for relationships. Because while he was heir, girls were practically throwing themselves at him and they were always doing ten times more to keep his attention. Which meant he had to do nothing but be himself and reap the benefits. For him to have an actual healthy relationship would require reevaluation of his life and how he behaves. He has to learn that you can't just take, if you want real lasting love like what his parents had there's work involved and that you can't always be the one to take and never give. Remember it's better to give then receive, that's just not something Macsen understands. So for him to find real happiness would require actual work on not being a selfish asshole.

#43 Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them? For Hamish, it's his people. Yes he understands that he is a figurehead who doesn't hold the same powers as the kings of old when their rules were absolute but he does know the people look to him like they would a father. There's an expectation for him to lead by example and to be steadfast. It's rather emotional taxing having to be emotionless and strong all the time. But it's what's expected of him and so it's what he must do. He doesn't hate being king, I think he just hates being neutral all the time but that's his biggest responsibility. To be king for all his people, not just some of them. So even when he'd like to speak on something, he can't or else him might offend some of people. So he focuses on his work and the causes he cares about and just keeps moving forward.

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

cw emotional/psychological abuse (im ok dw just. more reflecting)

ive been rereading my journal and got to the bit where im dissecting my exs callout post about me. looking back its kinda hilarious cus if you have the tiniest ounce of critical thinking skills, youll immediatley see that he contradicted himself several times in his own post and his ridiculous assertions just get better with age. heres some highlights

 calling himself a “kid” at 23 while slagging me off voraciously for stuff that i did at 22 and 23, 4+ years before this callout post and some of it before he even met me

 making a huge deal about a 19 & 23 (up to 23 & 27) age gap like its pedophilia lol

 accusing me of ableism in literally the same sentence as dunking on me for my autism symptoms, then doing it again several times more in the next paragraph, like blatant ableism in the same breath as accusing me of ableism, sure thing hon

 misrepresenting events where he deliberately provoked me, leaving out important information and saying I was “playing the victim” cus i told people that the two (2!!) incidents of alleged “abuse” were in direct response to some particularly nasty shit hed been throwing at me

 accusing me of making him homeless when i literally saved him from homelessness several times

 accusing me of manipulating him to be polyamorous when he was literally dating someone else when we got together lmao (as was I & we were all fully aware, just like in a regular consensual polyamorous situation) (iirc he also had a side fuck that his partner didnt know about so really doing great monogamy there, being manipulated into evil polyamory by evil me)

 accusing me of cheating when i told them i was dating someone, who they fully well knew i was getting close to and wanting to date, who they told me was okay if I wanted to date them. they forced me to break up with that person and apologise over months, agreeing at one point that it wasn’t actually cheating, but then conveniently it was cheating again whenever he needed something to hold against me

anyway ive still not fully recovered from being used up quite thoroughly and emotionally abused and gaslit and accused of the worst kinds of things because after years of torment I snapped a couple times. I still find it in my mind sometimes to miss him and wanna reach out and then I remember how it felt to be with him and then how it felt to *not* be with him and how it felt to be punished for not being with him, and then to be punished just for existing, i guess. being accused of punishing him when i was having emotional reactions or tried to distance myself cus being around him made me want to kermit. funny how thats his choice of words as well and how being with him changed me fundamentally and i am still very much working on undoing the damage, i suspect it will take a long while. meanwhile hes prancing around in la and probably has forgtten completely that i even exist. which is wild considering he put all responsibility for his happiness and wellbeing entirely on me for so fucking long. its my fault also because i let him, but i was young and stupid, (in his words) just a kid at 23.

he put all responsibility for his happiness and wellbeing entirely on me - and I let him; when you put it like that, it’s absolutely no wonder it blew up completely in our faces. And as the older one and the supposedly more experienced one, I guess it would have been on me to not let him put all that on me. I didn’t know much at the time though, pretty sure I didn’t even know what boundaries were (much less how to set, communicate and enforce them). But also I was interested in him and wanted to get closer and I think even then I knew that if I failed to give him whatever tf he wanted, he would just leave and probably call me toxic. Idk why it ever seemed like a good idea to get close to him. I just dont know anymore but I guess I did learn a lot from that relationship. Including not to let people like that get that fucking close to me again.

[beckface]

Now Presenting: I talk about my personal Boxlietner’s Return AU for an unfortunate amount of time

If Boxlietner ever returned this is exactly how I would want it to happen (ramble ahead)

-Some big horrible event happens and TB and Squeaky are constantly fighting over what to do

-TB is the only one who can save everyone, but to do that he has to overcome the mouse brain. This leads to a painful experience of him creating a ray that removes the mouse brain permanently

-maybe he gets someone else’s help to make the ray, narratively it would be the most interesting for WG or his henchmen to assist him while being incredibly pensive the whole time, and worrying about him as squeaky grows more and more frantic and aggressive but logically I think Mr Big or Tobey would be the most help

-One he’s separated from the mouse it can go one of two ways, either he collapses for the drama, OR one time I read this fanfic where he just straight up kills squeaky and I love that idea (it’s called For with that Grand Collision / Came a Grave Consequence by SylvesterSV on a03)

-One sticking point I have is that Boxlietner should NOT become this moral straight-man type. He’ll be less evil^TM ofc but I want it to be more like a Discord from MLP situation, where he still plays by his own rules. The mouse brain, whether it’s there or not, changed him fundamentally as a person

-So yeah, if this was in the actual show they should absolutely not show Squeaky dying, but Boxlietner definitely is not nice to him to an uncomfortable degree

-This is fan content though so Squeaky can die. And it should shock the people around him, like maybe Steven stands up and seems so happy to be back and remorseful for his actions, and Becky is really happy thinking she got her friend back, until Steven just, murders the mouse with a haunted look in his eye.

-Keep the long white hair but it’s not spikey anymore. Ponytail like in chucktopia I suggust

-His villian friends have no clue how to deal with this. Like absolutely no idea where to go from here

-Steven definitely has to deal with a lot of inner demons and probably exacerbates them himself, but he’s still gonna keep all the traits we love about both canon character(s?)

-He’s still a creative genius with a flair for flamboyancy and sarcasm, he’s overexcitable and forgetful but when he’s in the zone he’s the top of the game. Also he tried to avoid cheese out of guilt at first but it ends up becoming a comfort food

-It takes him a bit of time to come back to being himself, at first he’s very closed off and very in his head

-Wordgirl is really insecure about being around him, not sure how to treat him, and doesn’t know if he even wants her around, but she really wants to be around him like all the time when he gets back, especially with how worried she is about him

-Steven, who is greatly missing his former friendship/mentorship with Becky now that he remembers everything is also really insecure about their relationship

-he’s overly friendly to her but also keeps her at arms length and treats her like a fragile kid (which he never did even as twobrains) making Wg’s insecurities worse, making her think he doesn’t want her around, making him think she doesn’t want to be around him

-Becky can’t stand leaving things unresolved though so she eventually confronts him like “If you don’t want me around anymore just tell me!” and they work it out and begin healing

-Frequent nightmares involving rats and mice and evil laughter

-he’s like either 19 or 70 no one can tell (he’s 32)

-He’s still friends with the villains and sometimes they come to him for help on gadgets (more with the kids then the adults) but he generally won’t help if he thinks it might be too far against Wordgirl.

-The villains, Steven, and WG are are generally more understanding of each other then the rest of the city is to them anyways.

-After some time Becky just starts coming over all the time again, sometimes as WG and sometimes as Becky. Once he starts getting into the groove of inventing again she becomes like his little lab assistant because I said so

-The henchmen and him are best friends and regularly hang out together, but they work for Tobey now (as like a gift from Boxlietner)

-“Tobes, from one former evil genius to another, these guys are the best in the biz. They’ll do well by you”

-The henchmen immediately little-brotherify Tobey. Like Tobey is the smart one absolutely but the henchmen absolutely adore him and lowkey baby him after no time. Tobey has two new (admittedly dull) father/big brother figures now that he gets to spend all his time with because he deserves it

-Glenn doesn’t know what to do now and has a whole subplot of going on an epic journey to find himself and comes back an enlightened hippie because that would be funny. He tell’s Steven that he is “more reformed then you could ever dream to be”.

-Steven convinces Becky to tell her family that she’s Wordgirl. He holds her hand while she does it

-Becky (civilian form) starts getting “tutoring” from Boxlietner, who’s trying to come back to having a normal life in the public eye (He does help her with her homework but it’s just an excuse for them to be working together on bringing back Steven’s life and on superhero stuff without seeming like this random little girl is just spending a bunch of her time for no reason with a former supervillian grown man)

-One day Becky Scoops and Violet are having a playdate and Scoops says “man I wish we could go somewhere we haven’t played before” and Becky is like “dude I got you” and they just barge into Steven’s lab and the man (holding lava in a cup) is just “children what the fuck”

-on that note both Twobrains and reformed!Steven have absolutely no cursing filter around the kids. Granny May hit him with her purse for swearing multiple times

-unrelated to the au but Victoria actively tries to learn swear words from TB and later Steven. Eileen doesn’t care because it doesn’t match her innocent-baby shtick and Tobey considers it beneath him

-I can’t emphasize enough how much this man is going to be an absolute mess like he’s that specific brand of fucked up old man who’s not actually old. He’s trying so hard though, and getting better. I really like Bojack Horseman can you tell.

-Steven reaches out to his sister and neice with the encouragement of Becky, and reconnects with his family, who all thought he was dead

-His niece has a pet mouse. Steven panics upon seeing it and almost tries to off it before being brought back to his senses by Becky (who went with him to see his family because he needs support and because, yet again, I said so)

-His neice is a few years older then Becky and didn’t get the full details, so at first she thinks that this is just her adopted cousin. They bond while the adults talk

-Steven and the Botsford parents get along really well, they appreciate him convincing their daughter to c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ tell them about her being Wordgirl, though they clearly wish that Becky had felt comfortable telling them herself.

-Steven becomes the wine uncle to the Botsford kids he was always meant to be

-Sally, as the DA, and Becky, as Wordgirl, help him get get his life together, and Sally and Becky bond over solving legal problems for this slightly pathetic man

-TJ has some angst about his sister being WG, but he gets over it. The siblings love each other at the end of the day

-Becky keeps trying to set twobrains up on dates. (Spoiler she has no fucking idea what she’s doing but she THINKS she does)

-She only chooses men at first, just kindof assuming he’s full on gay, until he tells her that he’s pan (bad idea) and a whole new world of possibilities opens up in Becky’s eyes.

-Poor Steven ends up on blind dates with half of Fair City. He rolls with it because Becky has had him captured in her found family web for years

-The dates don’t really go that well due to his reputation. like Steven is still very charming and social but he’s really pent up at the same time, plus people’s perception of him doesn’t help

-Eventually Becky starts setting him up on dates with Villains, which is like really awkward, until Steven realizes that these are the most relaxed and comfortable dates he’s been going on (like I mentioned before theres this understanding between the villains, wg, and Steven that the rest of the city doesn’t have)

-Pick your fav twobrains ship to become canon idc. Personally I like grilled cheese because Chuck is just this mother’s basement kinda guy and him dating this brooding, tortured brilliant scientist is very fun to me. Also subversion of the normal trope- Steven is the huge flirt and Chuck is the flustered mess who’s trying to stay serious

-“Uh huh yeah babe that evil plan is definitely going to work. After you get captured Wordgirl’s coming over for dinner by the way, you should join us!”

-Whoever Steven is dating suspiciously rises to the #1 villian spot. Becky is like 🤨 but Steven says that he’s definitely not helping them, he just must be so incredibly inspiring to be around, he swears

-Steven isn’t really siding with anyone, he kindof loses any care for Fair City, maybe even growing a bit bitter towards it, he just cares about specific people.

[viscountessevie]

Now why would they talk of a brown woman like this

https://twitter.com/osheffields/status/1562510642006740993?t=oupp5sa0JkTOcOx-UE-YHQ&s=19

Ughh I can't with the people of this fandom

Thanks for waiting anon and sorry for the confusion because I did mention I'd answer this on my side blog but that was before I saw the tweet and found it to be relevant to the convos we're having on my blog this week!

This is the whole thread too:

This is ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. Not only do they call Marina a 'poor bitch' which is completely demeaning, use Gen as a shield for their weak ass 'wE'Re nOT rAciSTs' defence WHILE fetishising threesomes and poly people, fun times. Just absolutely gross behaviour. Someone gatekeep the Sheffields name from her - although with the classist and xenophobic Sheffields on the show now,,,maybe it fits🤡🤡.

Also I've talked about this before even though it's an unpopular opinion in the larger Kathony fandom but I fully consider Siena and Anthony as first loves. Not great loves like Kathony and whoever Siena ends up with but it was a good portrayal of wanting to be with someone so desperately despite your circumstances and differences in life.

Ultimately, they did not work because 1) She's not Kate, it was always going to be Kate for Anthony, 2) While they did greatly care for/'love' each other, they were ultimately using each other to get away from their problems. Anthony to escape his responsibilities and to take a break from it and Siena needed the security and comfort, it helped that they genuinely liked each other and 3) Their time ran its course and they weren't meant to be. Siena wasn't interested in being a Viscountess, she just needs the security he provides so in that sense its a superficial attraction while Anthony uses her as an escape rather than using her support to confront his issues and responsibilities, which he can't do anyway since she doesn't care for that part of his life.

Even so, that doesn't negate what they felt and thought was real between them. The difference is just Kate is his forever love and she accepted all of him, helped him confront his blindspots and vice versa and she was ready to take on the role of the Viscountess.

My point being is that I consider both Siena and Marina as first loves for Anthony and Colin while Gen and Ben were just vibing and good for all three of them! They don't need chastity belts before their forever people come in!!

Also why are these awful people SO threatened by Marina being the love of Colin's life??

Honestly if the show actually STUCK to its characterisations, Colin would have married Marina anyway if this was another show and Pen wasn't his book endgame. I talk about this more here. He has cannonly said that he would have married her if she told him from the start and basically admitting that he's a coward because of the scandal. So if she wasn't publicly humiliated, he would have still married her when she eventually told him. And she would have told him eventually she's not a complete liar. I don't think anyone would just willy nilly marry somebody who's pregnant with someone else's child if they weren't a little bit in love with them!!

So yeah from a POV of a film/screenwriter, I honestly can see how better suited Show!Colin and Marina are then Show!Pen and Colin.

Maybe that will change in S3 (not without fundamentally retconning their characters welp) but in the last two seasons I haven't seen ANY signs of friendship. All their scenes to me read as her being bashful and giggly around him cos of her crush and he's just polite because she's his kid sister's best friend. Like where is the Friends of Friends to Lovers I was promised?? They read more to be as Best Friend's Brother, which can be done well but the book and the show version just didn't do it for me!

This isn't meant to be hate at all (you know when I am - and that's mostly to criticise their racist actions), it's just my observation and interpretation of how their chemistry (or lack thereof at times) and the way they are written comes across on screen.

Also right now the Bird App crazies say "Sophie is lucky" but watch them quickly change their tune once she's officially cast as a WoC. They will pick her apart so fast - it's going to be so hypocritical and disgusting and I'm not looking forward to that.

Thanks again for the ask and everyone who read this far!