#(checks notes) on hiatus

[beys-cameras-action]

Could we see more of damian and jack pls :3

Damian: We get along great. He’s like a brother to me

Jack: I shouldn’t praise this kid as much as I do. It goes to his head

[tricksterlatte]

Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?

[golden-jeon-jungkook]

...

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

the sensible part of my brain is like maybe I should fess up to my doctor at the appointment tomorrow and the part of my brain that got me into this mess in the first place is like no absolutely cannot do that until it's got bad enough it should have got stitches again (but unless I hit a vein I am not going to get stitches)

[ollieofthebeholder]

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfiction

Read from the beginning on Tumblr || AO3 || My Website

Chapter 107: January 1993

It’s cold and gloomy and it’s been raining off and on most of the day—most of the week really—so for a bit, Martin wasn’t sure this would actually happen. But Papa’s home and he promised they would do this when he got home, and Papa never, ever, ever breaks his promises, so they got up very early and went to the train station and bought their tickets and got on the train, and Papa even let Martin give their tickets to the conductor, and now here they are.

Martin has never been so far away from home before. Granddad takes him on trips sometimes—last year they went all the way to Norfolk to see the Queen, and Martin honestly doesn’t think he’ll ever see anything better than that—but this is a long, long way away. He didn’t actually press his hands and face against the glass of the train window because that sort of thing makes Mummy upset, and when she gets upset she gets one of her “bad spells”, and when she has a bad spell Martin has to be very, very quiet and take care of her, but he gripped the edge of the window sill excitedly and stared out the window at the ever-shifting scenery for the whole way down here. Papa sat beside him and pointed out all kinds of things to him, and Mummy napped, so maybe it would have been okay if he put his face against the window, but he didn’t. It’s the first time he’s ever seen London, too, even if they didn’t get out of the train there, and Papa says they’ll take a trip there the next time he’s home for Martin’s birthday, so that will be fun. He even answered all of Martin’s questions about why they didn’t have a steam train, and what the difference between steam and diesel is, and what parts of the books he likes so much are based in truth and what parts were just made up to tell a good story.

Papa never minds when Martin asks questions. And he never tells Martin to stop asking questions just because he doesn’t know the answers. He always says something like I don’t know, son, but we’ll find out together, eh? Granddad is like that, too, sort of, but sometimes when Martin asks questions Granddad says things like that’s a question for when you’re older, you young rip, and Martin doesn’t understand why, because if he’s old enough to know to ask a question, isn’t he old enough to know the answer? At least part of it? Still, inside his own mind at least, he can admit that they’re both better than Mummy, who either tells him to be quiet or pretends she doesn’t hear him. He’s learned not to ask more than once.

Mummy and Papa are fighting right now, going back and forth about the room—Mummy wants to know why they didn’t get a suite, why it isn’t on the bottom floor, why it’s facing the direction it’s facing, and why there’s only one bed, and Papa is snapping about space and money and convenience and something called a rollaway cot—but Martin is doing his level best not to listen too hard or ask what they’re talking about. Mummy gets mad when he interferes in adult conversations. Martin’s not entirely sure what interfere means, but he thinks it’s when he tries to say he’s sorry or fix the problem when Mummy and Papa are fighting, or when Mummy and Granddad are fighting, or when Mummy and Mrs. Jones are being very polite to one another. So Martin sits on the big, wide windowsill, looking out at the grey sky and the grey street and the grey grass that ends very suddenly just on the other side of the street.

He realizes he’s humming under his breath and tries to stop himself, pressing his hand over his mouth to make him swallow the sound like Mummy always does. Humming or singing to himself while he’s walking around the house or doing his chores is another thing Mummy is always telling him to stop doing, along with biting his lip, sucking his thumb, pulling his hair, and picking the skin around his nails. She’s a little nicer about it when Papa is home, but still, he doesn’t want to make her more upset than she already is. He doesn’t want her to have one of her bad spells while they’re on their vacation.

He’s being very, very good and very, very patient, because he’s supposed to be, but inside he is practically bursting with excitement and anticipation. It’s not like he’s never seen the water before, but this is a different water and a different kind of beach, and he wants to see what might be there after all the rain. Okay, it is kind of raining right now, so maybe not just this second, but still, he wants to go out and look.

It doesn’t sound like he’s going to get to any time soon, though. Mummy’s voice is getting sharp and Papa’s voice is doing that thing it does when he’s trying not to start shouting, and they’re not just talking about the room anymore. Usually that means Papa goes out and won’t take Martin and won’t be back until late, and Mummy goes up to her room and doesn’t come out. But it’s all one room, so she can’t do that, so Martin wonders what’s going to happen if things get louder.

“I’m going to go find out about renting a car for the week,” Papa says finally, his voice tight with anger but still not at the shouty point. “Shouldn’t be too long. Get some rest.” He stomps out the door. Martin braces himself for the door to slam—that’s another thing Mummy hates—but lucky for both of them, Papa shuts it quietly.

Mummy makes a hmmphing noise that usually means she’s about to tell Martin to go make her a cup of tea, and he presses his lips together and tries not to panic. There’s no stove in here, and no kettle, and he doesn’t know if Mummy and Papa packed the tea—Martin always thinks of it as the Bad Tea, not because it tastes bad but because Mummy only tells him to make it when he’s been bad, but it’s actually called oolong—and if he asks her about it, she’s going to be even madder, and aren’t they supposed to have fun?

How old are you? a voice whispers in the back of his mind, a voice he doesn’t recognize but that sounds an awful lot like a grown-up, and Martin clenches his fists and mentally berates himself. He’s four years old—four and a half—he’s not a baby anymore, and he’s too big to whine about being asked to help out, especially when Mummy has one of her spells.

No, that’s not what I—Jesus, the voice hisses, and Martin beats himself up a little more because he isn’t supposed to say things like that, so he probably shouldn’t think them either. The voice whispers it’s okay, you’re okay, then falls silent, so he reckons he’s calmed himself down like he’s supposed to.

He gives a longing look towards the beach again. The rain looks like it’s letting up a little bit, and this would be the perfect time to head out and walk along the shore, but he knows better than to ask Mummy. If she’s having one of her bad spells, she can’t walk except on hard ground, and not very far even then, and she doesn’t like the beach much anyway. He’s going to have to wait for Papa to come back, but it’s going to be hard.

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door, making Martin jump. Surprisingly, Mummy doesn’t ignore it or order Martin to get it. Instead, she stands up, crosses over to the door, and opens it herself. Martin can’t see who’s there, but Mummy says in her the sign on the door says “No Soliciting” voice, “May I help you?”

“I hope you don’t think me forward,” the person—a lady from the sound of it, with a low, cultured voice—says politely. “We saw you and your family checking in a while ago, and I heard the clerk tell your husband which room you were in, so we came up. I wonder if you’d let your son come down to the beach with us? We’ve been here three days, you see, and there are no other children staying here—my daughter would so like someone to play with.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Mummy says. Martin expects the next thing she says to be but no, thank you, I need him here, but instead she turns around without letting go of the door. “Martin.”

“Y-yes, ma’am?” Martin jumps to his feet quickly.

Mummy steps to one side. In the corridor just outside the door is a very pretty lady wearing a spotless frilled apron over a long dark skirt and a tight-fitted blouse, her hair piled up on her head kind of like Mummy does, but unlike Mummy’s fine ash blonde hair, hers is a dull, mousy brown. She looks like the illustration in the book he tried to read at the library last month, except some of the words were a little too hard for him to puzzle out and when he asked Mummy about them she said it was a book for girls and not for boys. Holding her hand is a girl who looks like she might be a little older than Martin himself is, with curly black hair and blue, blue eyes, wearing a dark wool coat that comes down to just above her smart black boots. She isn’t smiling, but she’s watching Martin with interest.

“Now, behave yourself,” Mummy scolds. “I don’t want to hear that you’ve been giving any trouble to this nice lady or her daughter who have been so kind as to let you come out with them.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Martin says, because it’s what he’s supposed to say, but he’s a little worried. Mummy hasn’t even asked the lady’s name, or her daughter’s, and he’s not usually supposed to go off with strangers. If Papa comes back soon and asks, Mummy won’t be able to tell him who Martin is with…but, he reasons, the beach is right there after all. It won’t be hard to know where to go and get him really.

So Martin puts his jacket back on—it’s a little too big for him, actually a lot too big for him, but Mummy says he’s growing too fast and she can’t be buying him a new coat every single winter—and obediently follows the lady and the girl out of the hotel.

There’s a brief lull in the rain, but Martin still wishes he had a hat of some kind as he scurries after the lady and her daughter. They’re not running or hurrying, but they move quickly, and the lady almost seems to be gliding across the ground; he nearly trips twice before they make it across the street, but he doesn’t, and then they’re there.

He wondered, from the hotel, why he couldn’t see the water, but now he realizes it’s because this is kind of a cliff and the actual beach is down below, far too big of a drop to just jump, but Martin can’t see how he’s going to get down. He almost doesn’t care, though. He can hear the waves soughing and crashing against the beach, which looks like it might be more pebbles than actual sand, and the smell is both familiar and unusual; the big smell, the salt and the wind, is the same, but the smaller, underneath smells are different and give it a whole new flavor, and it’s very exciting. There’s nobody else out there, either, which isn’t surprising for it being cold and wet and January, and it means they’ll have the beach to themselves for a bit, he guesses. It’s probably too cold to go swimming, but maybe he can take his shoes and socks off and go wading? He might have to wait for Papa, though.

There’s a soft pop noise, and when Martin looks, he sees that the lady has unfolded a dark canvas beach chair and set it right on the edge of the cliff. She settles herself in it primly and nods at her daughter. “Go ahead. I’ll watch you from here.”

The girl nods back, then beckons to Martin. He thinks, for just a moment, they really are going to just jump off the edge of the cliff, but then the girl slips between two clumps of grass and he realizes there’s a zig-zag path that leads all the way down to the beach. Happy again, he follows her as quick as he can without falling and rolling all the way to the bottom.

It’s colder on the beach than up top, and a little windier, and the persistent drizzle is pretending to start up again, but Martin ignores it. Instead, he beams up at the older girl, who’s not really that much taller than him. “I’m Martin,” he says cheerfully. “What’s your name?”

The girl looks surprised that he asked. She stares at him for a minute without blinking, then finally says, “Ann.”

“With an E?” Martin asks, because that’s what the girl said in the book Mummy wouldn’t let him read.

Ann shakes her head, but doesn’t say anything else. Still, Martin decides that until she says her last name, he’s going to call her mother Miss Cuthbert. They stand on the beach just looking at each other for a few minutes. Martin can feel the rain, but he can’t see it, not yet, so it’s not so bad that they need to worry about going back up already.

Finally, he asks, “What kind of games do you like to play?”

He expects Ann to say she wants to build a sandcastle, or hunt for rocks, or maybe race each other down the beach. Instead, she surprises him by saying, “Hide and seek.”

“Hide and seek?” Martin repeats, puzzled.

“Yes. I’m It,” Ann adds. “I’ll count to fifty, and you go find somewhere to hide, and then I go looking. And then I can hide and you can try to find me.”

“O-oh, okay.” Martin looks around uncertainly. There aren’t…exactly a lot of places to hide on an open beach, unless he ducks under the water, but it might be a bit cold for that. And won’t his footprints show up and make it easy?

He waits for Ann to give him some more rules, like that he has to stay within so many feet or that he’s not allowed to climb the cliffs again, but instead she just covers her eyes and begins counting slowly and deliberately. Martin blinks at her hard, then turns and dashes away as fast as he can.

It turns out there are a few places to hide—clumps of scrub grass clustered around the base of the cliff, a few trash cans, even the remains of an old pier. Martin studies all of them and rejects them impatiently. Mostly he’s too big to fit behind them. He doesn’t know how much time he has left, either, because he can’t hear Ann’s counting.

Then he spies it—the perfect place. A random chunk of rock, easily as big as he is—maybe bigger—all by itself in the middle of the sand. He can stand behind it, or maybe sit with his back pressed to it, and be perfectly hidden, and maybe it won’t be the first place Ann thinks to look because it’s so far away from anything else. He rushes over as fast as he can and is surprised, but pleased, to discover a kind of hollow on the back side of the rock that looks like he’ll fit under it—just. Which is good, because it means he can keep the rain off while he waits for Ann to find him.

Martin drops to his knees and crawls under the rock. The cold of the sand seems to seep into his knees, and he really hopes he isn’t getting his trousers wet and dirty, Mummy will be furious. He curls himself into a ball, hugs his legs to his chest, and waits.

And waits.

And waits some more.

He strains his ears to listen. Surely he should be able to hear footsteps crunching on the sand, even over the gentle soughing of the waves. But he can barely hear the ocean from here, and he definitely can’t hear the sounds of anyone poking around the beach looking for him. It’s possible Ann is just walking carefully so as not to startle him, or that she’s too far away to hear yet, but…but how long has he been hiding now? Isn’t there a rule about calling for someone if you can’t find them? Martin doesn’t play hide and seek very often. Actually, he doesn’t play a lot of games very often, not with other children. He doesn’t go to school yet, and there aren’t a lot of other children in his neighborhood, so he only really sees them when he goes to the local parks. And Mummy isn’t usually up for taking him. He spends a lot of time with Granddad, really, and that’s…fine, it’s fine, but it means he spends more time playing backgammon and checkers and learning to read in three languages than he does running around. He can climb trees like a monkey, so Granddad says—and Papa too, he says Martin would make a fine deckhand—and he runs and swims well enough, but most of the time if he’s not doing grown-up things, he’s playing by himself.

There’s something you’re supposed to say when you can’t find people, Martin remembers, but he can’t remember what it is, just that it’s the phrase that means the game is over, come out, but it’s also the phrase that means I give up, which is probably why Ann hasn’t yelled it yet. She must be very determined. Martin can’t blame her. He’s usually so easy to find, anyway, on the rare occasions he plays, he’s usually the first one found, so it can’t be hard for Ann, especially when it’s just him. He just has to be patient for a little while longer.

He hopes she finds him soon, though. It’s getting cold. It looks like the rain is getting heavier, too. It doesn’t sound like it’s raining very hard, but the damp is getting into his hiding space and when he looks at the entrance, he can’t see very far. The salt smell is stronger, and it almost sounds like the waves are getting…quieter? Maybe the tide is going out. That means the ocean is getting farther away…right?

He waits some more, and listens hard again, but there’s no footsteps and no voices and almost no wave. And now he’s getting worried about the rock. When water gets into sand, it shifts its position, he knows that from a nature documentary, and if the rain makes the sand too wet and the rock shifts its weight, it might fall over on top of him, and even if he doesn’t get killed by the rock hitting his head or breaking his neck or something like that, he’ll be trapped and won’t be able to get out and maybe he’ll not be able to breathe and…he’s starting to panic a little bit.

Suddenly, he decides he doesn’t care if he loses the game. It’s not fun anymore, and he’s scared. He’ll come out and find—and find—he’ll come out and announce he’s giving up and ask if they can go back up to the top of the cliff and, and he doesn’t want to play anymore. He uncurls himself and half crawls, half falls out onto the sand, scrambles out, and pulls himself to his feet using the rock. The rock doesn’t budge. That’s good. Maybe.

It’s hard to see, though. The rain—is it rain? It’s not a hard rain if it is—makes everything hard to make out. He’s vaguely aware that the sea is off to one side and the cliffs are off to another, but all he can see are shadows. He can’t really see anything clearly but the rock right in front of him.

He can’t see any shapes that look like people.

“Hello?” he calls. His voice sounds small and quiet. He clears his throat and calls again, trying to sound louder, but it doesn’t really come out any louder.

Maybe it’s his ears? He can’t hear the waves anymore really either. When he takes an experimental step, there’s no crunch of sand or stone beneath his feet. And it’s getting even colder. He shivers and tugs at his jacket. It doesn’t do a lot of good. He can still feel the rain—no, not rain, he thinks. It’s fog, and it’s seeping into his bones. It feels like it’s seeping into his brain, too. It’s not just hard to see, it’s hard to think. He shakes his head to clear it.

Where’s—where’s—wasn’t there someone he was playing with? He bites his lip and tries to think. He wasn’t playing by himself, was he? Well, he usually does, so maybe…but no, he’s, there was…a girl? She’s, she’s looking for him, she must be…she said she would look for him. He presses his hands to the sides of his head and tries hard, so very hard, to just…think.

I go looking. And then I can hide and you can try to find me. He remembers now. She never said she would find him, but she said he had to find her and…and he doesn’t know where to start looking. Everything looks the same, and…he can’t even see the rock anymore, he—was there a rock there? Which way is the ocean? He stands in one spot, terrified to move, afraid that if he runs the wrong way he’ll fall in the water and drown, and why is there so much fog?

“Hello?” he cries out. “I—I’m lost! Help!” He starts to call out to the girl, but—what was her name? She told him her name, what’s her name, why can’t he remember her name—

“I don’t want to play anymore!” he cries, but the words get lost in the fog. “Hello? H-hello? I—” Tears spring to his eyes, and he dashes at them angrily. “I w-want—”

He wants—what does he want? Who does he want? There’s, there’s someone, someone waiting for him, someone who—or, or is he just making that up? Is it just a pretend friend, someone to make him feel better when he’s all alone? Isn’t he always alone really?

Is there even anybody else on the beach?

Is there anybody else in the whole world?

Is there anything out there at all other than him, and the fog, the fog that won’t go away, the fog that—

Olly-olly-oxen-free. The words slam into his head and he remembers, he remembers that’s what you say to make the people who are hiding come out, but—but he’s the one hiding, isn’t he? No. No, he’s doing the looking, which means he can say the words and then, and then he’ll lose, but the game will be over and he can go.

“Ol—olly-olly-oxen-free?” He cups his hands around his mouth and tries to shout, but the words don’t go very far from him. Maybe because he’s the only person to hear them.

No! No, that’s not—that isn’t right, it can’t be right, there was—there’s somebody, he knows somebody is there, Mummy sent him to the beach with—Mummy. He has a mummy, she sent him to the beach with a lady because—because Papa went to get a car.

Papa.

He has a mummy, he has a papa, he has—he has a name, what’s his name? They call him something, don’t they? He tries to remember, tries to hear their voices, but…b-but he can’t think, it’s too foggy, it’s too cold, it’s too lonely, and he wants, he wants, he wants, he wants to go home.

“Hello? Hello!” he cries again, and he’s really crying now, because he’s scared and he’s lonely and he doesn’t know where he is or anyone else is and he just wants to be found. He starts running, no longer caring if there’s, if there’s something he might, something bad that might happen, because anything is better than here and nothing and—

There’s a sound, a new sound he can’t quite make out, and he stops and spins all around him, breathing hard and fast and trying so hard to listen, but it’s so hard to hear and…and it sounds so familiar, it’s, it’s deep and resonant and it’s safe, it’s a sound that doesn’t belong in the fog and…

“…see o’er the foaming billows fair haven’s land…”

He knows that song, he knows it, and—he turns around, and there’s a shape in the fog, it’s moving, it’s making the sound, it’s, it’s—he starts humming along. He’s, he’s, something tells him he’s not supposed to hum, not supposed to sing, but the song makes him feel better and he remembers it, so he hums it very loudly as he runs towards the shape, and then he starts singing, his voice trembling and cracking as he tries to match the volume, but he’s not sure if the sound is making it through the fog or not.

“…leave that poor old stranded wreck and pull for the shore…”

The shape is fading in and out, and he can’t find it, he can’t see it anymore, and he’s scared, he’s so scared, he tries to find the voice, but it’s not singing now, and he stretches out his arms and cries out desperately and—

—and something is grabbing him, something is holding him, and it’s a shock because he was alone just a second ago and now he’s not and something is holding him and he can’t, he can’t, he needs to get away, he has to fight back, he—

“Martin! Martin, it’s me. It’s me.” The voice is familiar, so familiar, and it’s right in front of him, and there’s a shape, and—and now there are two hands on his shoulders, holding him still. “Look at me, Martin. Tell me what you see.”

“I see…” Martin. His name is Martin. That’s who he is, he’s Martin, he…he looks up and the fog clears, and he sees a face, round and white and with a scratchy stubble and curly copper-colored hair and worried apple green eyes, and he knows it, and he takes his first full, deep breath in what feels like forever. “I see you, Papa. I see you.”

Papa pulls Martin into a tight hug, and Martin clings to his shirt and cries, not sure how he has any tears left, and Mummy’s going to be upset with him because you’re too big to cry, Martin, you know better, but he has to, because…

“I’m sorry, Martin,” Papa says, his voice choked like maybe he’s crying too. “I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have let you go if I’d known.”

“I, I couldn’t find her,” Martin wails. “There was a girl and—and w-we were playing hide and seek and—and I c-couldn’t find her, I was looking and—and there wasn’t anybody at all…”

“I know. I know.” Papa rubs Martin’s back. “They were part of something called the Lonely. I’ll tell you more about it when you’re older, but for now, just know they were just making you think like that. It wasn’t real, son.”

“I-it felt real.” Martin looks up at Papa, but he’s got tears in his eyes and he can’t see well. “I, I was all alone.”

“Not anymore.” Papa kisses him on the forehead and stands up, hefting Martin up in his arms and settling him on his hip even though he’s really too big for that, and Martin clings to his neck and rests his head on his shoulder. “Come on, let’s go get ice cream.”

He carries Martin up the zig-zag path and doesn’t complain once about Martin being too heavy to carry, or too big to be carried, and he doesn’t put him down when they get to the street either, just walks with him towards the shops. He keeps talking as they walk, soft but steady, telling him about the things they’re going to do and places they’ll see and telling him, again and again, that he won’t ever have to be alone again.

Martin almost believes him.

When they get to the ice cream shop, Papa finally lets Martin down, but he doesn’t let go of Martin’s hand as they walk into the shop. It’s very, very tiny, but it smells good, and Papa takes him up to the counter and asks for two dishes of strawberry ice cream from the man behind the counter. Martin is glad there’s another person really there.

He looks around the shop without letting go of Papa’s hand and sees another boy, too, who looks about his age. He’s small and skinny and resting his chin on his arm, which is resting on the table, and he’s poking at a dish of ice cream listlessly. He looks about as upset as Martin feels, and there’s a little bit of Martin that’s glad he’s not the only one having a bad day.

“Jonathan, stop playing with your food,” the old woman, probably his grandmother, sitting across from him says in a weary kind of voice, and Jonathan—Martin guesses that’s the boy’s name—puts down his spoon and pushes the dish away from him. The old woman sighs, but doesn’t say anything else.

Martin almost wants to go say something to the boy, but he’s afraid to talk to anyone else right now in case they disappear too, so he cuts his eyes away and clings to Papa’s hand as they make their way over to a table in the corner and sit across from each other with their ice cream. Papa picks up his spoon and takes a bite, but Martin just stares at his, wondering if he’ll even be able to taste it. Everything just feels so…so far away.

“Martin,” Papa says quietly, and he reaches over and takes Martin’s hand. Martin looks up at Papa to see him looking at him with a very, very kind look on his face. “You won’t ever have to feel that alone again. I promise. I won’t ever let you be alone like that again.”

Martin bites his lips hard. “What about when you go out to sea with Uncle Kay again?”

“You still won’t be alone.” Papa takes off his cap, flicks it once to get the dust and hair off, and then leans across the table and puts it on Martin’s head. It slips down over his eyes for a moment, but Martin pushes it up and looks up at Papa, who smiles, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. “I’ll always be with you, one way or another, as long as I’m able to draw breath. I promise on my very soul. I love you and I won’t ever let the Lonely have you. Ever.”

Martin looks at Papa for a long moment, then smiles back. Something warm settles in his chest, and he knows Papa is right. He won’t ever have to go through something like that again, and he’ll never be alone again, because Papa promised he wouldn’t.

And Papa never, ever, ever breaks his promises.

[vanitasnocarteconfessions]

"I really want to get more into Vanijeanne, but it's kind of difficult to do when the main fanon ship feels like it has more development than the main canon ship... I love both of the characters and could definitely envision them together with a cute dynamic, but there's just not enough development for me to get into it."

Admin note to the blog:

Since these last weeks there has been very few confessions I decided that from this confession, I will be some time w/o making new posts (until the queue grow up at least to 10).

[brynnmclean]

y'all, I feel like I've said this a lot, it is truly a joy to be a GM, but I am so fucking ready to get out of the chair and be a player again

[luneatic-art]

and smash it permanently open

[klaytheguildlessperso]

:l

[dawntheduckrb]

Low resolution borb chilling on the curb

[jasontoddiefor]

Yeah sure we’ve all binged a long fic, but have you ever read a WIP and followed someone’s life?

Tidbits of information - (“I graduated today!”) - and small joys (“It’s my birthday!”) and you get to be there to say “This chapter made me cry, happy birthday, thank you for gifting us this”.

I remember reading this fic of someone at the end of high school, older than me then. They seemed infinitely wise, spoke of their future career and getting into the college they wanted. I remember them posting on days they felt like nothing could bring them down - and on days the whole world did and it’s the aftermath of a hospital visit. Cancer, I think it was, their father. I got to the end of the story, I know their father was fine, but also they got to finish their WIP. I graduated three years later than them, still dutifully wrote thank you notes in every comment. I wonder if they remember me, or just the collective of people reading the story as it updates.

Four years ago I was into my first year of university, my first year of figuring out being out in public spaces. I made excuses as to why my name didn’t match my paperwork and read a fic on the train, the same five chapters over and over again for the next years as I thought the story abandoned. It updated this week after such a long hiatus, I left another thank you comment.

There’s an author I love, they update their stories like a clockwork. When they don’t, I check their blog, just to see if their doing alright, not because I feel like they owe me, just to ensure whether I better get out my laptop to write that really detailed university level essay chapter analysis to get them smiling when their day sucked.

And then, once, when I was 17, I read a fic that hadn’t updated in over a decade. I wasn’t even in primary school when it started posting. On the last chapter, I left a comment that, in retrospect, was horribly rambly and most likely full of grammar mistakes. The author replied and though I couldn’t see their face, I thought of them crying. They were married now, had children, and hadn’t thought about this fic in years. They went through their files again, found another half written chapter and an outline. I got two new chapters to read that year.

And then, recently, someone told me they got back into writing original fiction because of my comments. I get to read nearly weekly chapters.

I love binge reading a finished fic, but nothing is ever going to top the feeling of anticipation of waiting for a chapter, the pure joy when someone tells you I was done with this, but you made me think of it again, so this is for you.

Anyway, I think we should romanticize reading WIPs more, growing up alongside the authors writing the stories we love.

[malusokay]

becoming a better student ₊˚⊹♡

Prepare for your classes ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Wake up on time. We don't want to be stressed first thing in the morning, right?

Eat breakfast. So you will be able to better focus in class.

Assigned reading and homework. Make sure you are prepared for your classes!! :)

Review your notes. Going through some of your flashcards before class is really helpful.

Check your bag and charge your devices. Ensure you have everything you need: Books, homework, chargers, pens, water...

In Class ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Listen and pay attention. You can save yourself a lot of trouble by simply paying attention, trust me.

Take notes. My favourite note-taking method is the Cornell method; I can make a separate post on that!! <3

"Quick notes." If you struggle with note-taking, try taking quick and messy notes. You can clean them up once you get home!!

Engage. If you have any questions or don't understand something, make sure to ask!! Most teachers really appreciate students who speak up. :)

No distractions. Turn off your phone, no chatting, you'll be glad...

After class ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Finish your assignments as soon as you can. Go home, put on a cosy outfit, have a snack, and get working!! <3

Prepare flash cards. A great way of reviewing your notes, too... :)

Update your Study schedule. Write down any assignment and due dates, reading you must do, upcoming tests, etc...

Clean up your notes. Review them, highlight the important parts, and maybe even make them look cute!! :)

Don't avoid topics/Subjects you dislike. I know it is tempting, but you can't avoid them forever, so you might as well get them done

Structure and routine ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Goals and Priorities. Keep them realistic and manageable.

Time management. Having a set schedule makes studying less overwhelming; it takes some discipline but is so worth it!! <3

Develop a routine. Figure out what works best for you; I prefer studying in the morning or at night.

No "zero days". Even if you can only do a bit, do it!! NO. ZERO. DAYS.

Remember your goals. Dreams will keep you motivated; remind yourself of what you're working for!! <3

Self-care and balance ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Don't forget about your hobbies. You need to do things that make you happy, so make time for those things!!

Maintain a balanced diet. I know chocolates and junk are tempting, especially when you are busy studying all day, but you're not doing yourself any favours.

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. 8 Hours. Non-negotiable.

Exercise regularly. Even if it's just a walk, put on some headphones, listen to music, and give yourself a break. <3

Care for your social life. Reach out to your friends, make plans, and keep in touch; a good work-life balance is critical!!

Romanticising ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Study dates. Meet up with your friends at a cosy cafe, discuss your work, and have some fun!! Studying doesn't have to be all serious all the time ;)

Silly Pinterest boards. Visualising your goals will help you find motivation!!

Music to set the mood. I have a bunch of playlists on my Spotify that might help!! <3

Cosy sweater and candles. The cosy Rory Gilmore vibes haha...

Getting a coffee before class. A little treat before things get serious... Simple pleasures, you know? :)

Babes, The hiatus is OVER, and I'm finally back!! I got a lot of asks on studying, burnout, and school in general, so I thought, why not start off with a little student guide?? I Hope October has been kind to you, and school hasn't been too overwhelming (though I know it, unfortunately, has been for many of you), and I'm glad to finally be back!! <33

As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!!

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

[hootbon]

TADC Freakshow AU Masterpost

May you be warned, this is a horror/gore based AU. If that’s not your thing then I’d probably not click on the links

+ bubble

(these will be updated when new ones come out! None of them are in a particular order, some of them will be and hopefully soon there will be an actual order)

Go check out @jokerskellington !! They helped me out with a lot of the designs and the concepts :D

Story comics

Abstraction

Aftermath

A little chat

Notes

Stitches

Replacement

Outside

Broken faces

Lost friend

Restart

Looks decieve

selfish kindness

needle and thread

needle and thread pt2

Bloody tracks

I don’t want to.

Rule-Breaker

Eclipse

community choice adventure

Misc

posters line-up

Freakshow&carnival templates

Q&A

Q: Can we make ocs/fanart/fics/etc.?

A: Of course you can! I love getting work of my AU from others, please tag me in them! (Do not send them in my ask box, I prefer it when people post their own work)

———————————————————

Q: Is the community choice adventure continuing?

A: Yes. You don’t need to keep asking me, I have been taking a little hiatus but I will be working on it soon.

———————————————————

Q: Do you have any boundaries?

A: Not necessarily, but my only rule is to keep things chill over here.

———————————————————

Q: can we make Nsfw?

A: I don’t mind, if it’s sexual, please don’t tag me. However, extreme gore and violence is A-okay with me (infact please tag me in those.)

———————————————————

Q: Will X character be in this au?

A: all characters seen in the show will be characters in this AU and more than likely have designs when I get the time.

———————————————————

Q: if gangle abstracts, what would happen?

A: she will abstract, simple as that. Then be replaced with an AI much like her sister.

———————————————————

Q: can or will the virus be cured?

A: no.

———————————————————

Q: what would happen if x character met y character?

A: I strongly dislike these questions, please don’t ask them.

———————————————————

Q: art requests?

A: I don’t usually take them unless I like the idea and actively want to do it. 8 times out of 10 I likely won’t do them but who knows.

———————————————————

Q: Art commissions?

A: I promise I plan to open those up for the people of tumblr soon, I am currently rehashing my prices and setting up my sheets but I will make a post when I am ready!

[priniya]

ᯓᡣ𐭩 GORGEOUS! ᡣ𐭩ᯓ

pairing. oscar piastri x leclerc!reader

summary. the youngest leclerc was known to be an outgoing, extroverted menace, but suddenly when she meets the new mclaren driver, she does something she never does — gets embarrassing.

notes. a fair warning for the google translated french.im sorry if it sucks 😭😭 its my first time doing something like this and i really hope u like it :3 ALSO??? OSCAR WIN IN BAKU WAS SO BEAUTIFUL THE OVERTAKE?? THE DEFENDING?? a great day for piastrination!!!!! (can you tell i totally dig x leclerc!reader??) send requests for more smaus pls :)

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, arthur_leclerc and 127 621 others.

yourusername spreading the rbr agenda on the streets of kyoto, because your girl finally graduated journalism and engineering with honours!

view all comments!

arthur_leclerc charles just saw the jacket and had an aneurysm LMAO

user1 someone check on leclerc pls

charles_leclerc cant believe my OWN baby sister wears that in public

yourusername ill take it off once ferrari releases their own energy drink 👍

alexandrasaintmleux gorgeous as usual ❤️

yourusername please dump my brother and date me instead

yourusername please i beg you

yourusername JUST ONE CHANCE 😭😭😣😣😣😭😭

user2 yn is one of us

maxverstappen1 looking good in blue! 💙

loved by author!

yourbff girl land that job or you gon go broke soon with that red bull addiction 👎👎👎

user3 atp yn is sponsoring the team 😭

yourbff you bet she is, girl

user4 double major in such different things pop off queen

user5 need to see her in paddock cos i know the girl is bout to argue with ferrari engineers

yourusername bin*tto left ferrari cos he knew i would drag him down 😁😁😁

user6 love how we had to go thru the 2023 drought without the baby leclerc and now shes baaaack

user7 fr i missed the times when ferrari wasnt the only thing making charles miserable

user7 congratulations on graduating queen!!!! cant wait for the new vid or to see u at one of the races 🥺

user8 im sorry im really new to f1 stuff who is she and why are the drivers here? 😭

user9 this is charlies sister yn!! but she has her youtube channel where she used to post a lot of diff stuff! shes been living in japan for the past four years of her undergrad degrees but due to the workload she had a hiatus for a year 💔💔 u should check out her channel its so cool

arthur_leclerc

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 320 612 others.

arthur_leclerc good day in monaco today, changing professions to a photographer rn, what u think of that?

view all comments!

user10 arthur you had one job to bring your sister to paddock…

user11 its just friday girl calm down

yourusername please restrain yourself from posting pictures of that ugly face you see in the mirror

yourusername …WHO IS IN THE SECOND SLIDE

yourusername ARTHUR ANSWER ME

yourusername my ovaries are quacking rn ARTHUR ANSWER ME

user12 not yn simping over oscar AND calling arthur ugly 😭😭😭

user13 shes so me tbh

charles_leclerc such a handsome man on the third slide 🔥🔥🔥

olliebearman why is yn tweaking like that 😭

yourusername cos he’s so pretty

oscarpiastri you were supposed to send me the picture not POST IT

user14 this is the guy yourusername 🔥‼️‼️

yourusername omg hes SO gorgeous

oscarpiastri thank you…?

arthur_leclerc yourusername please stop embarrassing the family name

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 101 892 others.

yourusername a quick pit stop in paris before the monaco course is broken!!!!!! (source: trust me bro 🙂‍↕️) drinking for my pookie dookiest brother to secure that pole and p1 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

view all comments!

yourusername dont let the caption fool you, i am NOT stopping drinking vodka red bull to make sure rbr doesn’t lose their biggest sponsor (me)

maxverstappen1 ty for your service 🫡🫡

yourusername no prob pookie, lecfosi by association but a red bull girlie at heart 😌😌

yourusername big thanks to the autocorrect ❤️❤️❤️ youre the real one babe 🔥🔥🔥

user15 wait till she realises oscar is in the likes…

user16 ohh the girl is gonna be so messy 😭😭😭

user16 im all for it tho 🔥

lilymhe WHAT A GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GIRL

alexandrasaintmleux face card is never denied!

user17 oscar in the likes 🥹🥹

yourusername WHO IS IN THE LIKES??????

yourusername NOO OH MY GOD HES HERE

yourusername HI YOURE SUPER CUTE oscarpiastri

user18 SHE TAGGED HIM LOL

user19 she really want that dick…

yourusername i just think hes cute that is NOT a crime

oscarpiastri i think you’re really cute too :)

yourusername HXJSKSJJDBDJSJS

yourusername sorry a red bull ran across my screen 😭

arthur_leclerc yourbff please tell her she’s not as slick as she thinks she is

twitter

user20 what do you expect 😭😭 she probably partied all night before getting to monaco

user21 LMAOO RIGHT??? but if you watched her vids you know that the girl LOVES an opportunity for a party

user22 yn stronger than me because i’d kiss him on the spot

user23 alr weirdo… they JUST met

user24 he is probably weirded out like imagine meeting a girl who SIMPS over you in the insta comments… she needs to chill

user25 he won’t pick you 👎👎

user26 gtfo if he was weirded out he wouldnt be in the likes of her post or sayin he thinks shes cute lol

user27 the real gentleman out there 🥹🥹

user28 i need them together asap

user29 super delulu but i totally dig the golden retriever gf x polite black cat bf

user30 OMGGG I TOTALLY SEE THE VISION

user31 pls they just met and he was just being polite 👎 stop trying to get into their lives

yourusername

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 428 621 others.

yourusername HE DID IT!!!! I TOLD YALL THAT HE WOULD DO IT!!! MY BROTHER WINS IN MONACO. DONT HIT US UP FOR THE NEXT WEEK OR TWO!!! ITS CELEBRATION TIME!!!! aussi, charlie, il n'y a pas beaucoup de mots capables d'exprimer à quel point je suis fier de toi. vous l'avez fait et personne ne peut vous l'enlever.

view all comments!

priniya translation! also, charlie — there isn’t an amount of words able to express how proud i am of you. you did it and no one can take it away from you.

user32 girlie might tell everyone she’s a red bull girl, but like the king sebastian once said, everyone is a ferrari fan even when they say they’re not or something like that 🔥🔥🔥

user33 CONGRATULATIONS CHARLES!!! FINALLY WON!!!

carlossainz55 ay cropped my ‘carlos p3’ out 😖😖

yourusername this is a celebration post for my pookiest brother you are IRRELEVANT rn

carlossainz55 that was harsh

yourusername win YOUR home race and i’ll post one 4 u 👍👍

charles_leclerc je t’aime mon lutin ❤️

yourusername je t’aime mon coco 🫶🫶🫶

oscarpiastri congratulations to the man of the day, such an honour to stand next to you on the podium xx

arthur_leclerc man you gotta stop commenting on her posts, she’s going insane rn

oscarpiastri i’m sorry…?

yourusername NO DONT BE SORRY DONT LISTEN TO HIM IM COMPLETELY SANE

yourusername oscarpiastri please keep interacting with me i’m gonna die if you listen to arthur

oscarpiastri i guess i gotta text you now and then to make sure you don’t die

yourusername please do that

user34 do they know we can see that??

user35 idc im eating this up

user36 oscaryn truthers rise and shine

user37 atp i cant tell if hes interested or if hes doing that for his own entertainment

user38 probably both

user39 i LOVE how a celebration post for charles turned into an opportunity to flirt with oscar 😭😭

user40 she is NOT stronger than me because if i had a chance i’d took it

user41 setting her priorities straight

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 792 721 others.

oscarpiastri a quick but very much needed pit stop before zandvoort

view all comments!

user42 someone check on yn ASAP

user43 yn one of us once again because we couldn’t bag oscar either 😭

user44 can yall stop talking abt that girl FOR ONCE no one gaf

landonorris looking good mate

liked by the author!

yourusername pls tell me you found more of these beautiful seashells and brought some back for me

oscarpiastri we did actually! y immediately thought abt you and picked the pretty ones

yourusername GOD. i love her give her a big hug from me

oscarpiastri will do maam 🫡🫡

user45 so it’s not yn in the pics?? NOOOOO

user46 my life is ruined rn

user47 throwing oscaryn into a memory box because oscar and his gf looks really cute together

charles_leclerc hope you had a great summer mate

oscarpiastri the best 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

user48 what if they r just trolling us because this caption looks really similar to the one yn posted before monaco???

user49 OMGGG YOURE ONTO SOMETHING

user50 hopefully on the way to the psych ward because this is some delulu shit

user51 soft launch over the summer 🥹🥹 hes so cute

user52 whoever his girl is, i just hope they’re happy and yall should too!

yourusername also plsplspls can y send me the id to the top?? it looks so cute from the back

user53 girl he wont choose you stop trying so hard 😭😭

user54 they can be friends ? lol

user55 does someone knows who the girl is???? i need to know its not yn 😭😭

user56 georgerussell63 tell us what you know 🫵🫵

georgerussell63 🤐🤐🤐

alex_albon he’s actually crying and gritting his teeth because he’d LOVE to tell

gossipracegirl

liked by georgerussell63, user57 and 87 621 others.

gossipracegirl a rumour has it that a driver for formula one with a number eighty one was seen getting cozy with one of his on-track rival’s little sister, while in a relationship. was it a drunken mistake or was it all planned?

tagged oscarpiastri yourusername

view all comments!

user58 something is really wrong with leclercs one is a homie hopper and second is a homewrecker LOL

user59 shouldve happened in monaco so the people could get detained for invading their priacy like wtf WHO CARES

user60 all she do is bring bad pr to oscar BOO👎👎👎

user61 nooo oscar pookie you were supposed to be free from drama 😭😭

user62 gr63 in the likes LMAOO

user63 not yn being a homewrecker girl i liked u sm 😭😭

user64 yall acting like she’s in the wrong ? it gotta be consensual if they looked that chill n happy

user65 no wonder why yn has been streaming olivia rodrigo RELIGIOUSLY

user66 isnt that some type of incest atp?

user67 LMAOO imagine making out with your brother’s adopted son

yourusername

liked by pascale_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 273 811 others.

yourusername YALL THOUGHT. it was me all along :P i was giggling n kicking my feet pretending i know osco’s gf while it was ME. summer break vlog with osco coming up sooner than u think so please stop calling me a homewrecker 😖😖😖

also, girls don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, being yourself is what gets you an amazing guy even if your brother thinks youre embarrassing <3

tagged oscarpiastri

view all comments!

georgerussell63 ty for not SLACKING OFF anymore i barely could hold it inside 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

yourusername you told HALF the grid be for real brother you DID NOT hold it inside

fransisca.gomes no way oscar bagged you before i could 😭😭😭😭

yourusername i’m always gonna be yours kiks no one could take you away from me <3

francisca.gomes <3

pierregasly really thought getting u a bf would mean you leave MY girl alone

yourusername thinking is not your best thing, stick to racing

user68 shit user48 YOU WERE RIGHT

user48 NEVER DOUBT ME BITCHES

user69 this text?? oh he is down bad for you girl

user70 i need all of those bitches who called yn a homewrecker to APOLOGISE like rn

oscarpiastri thank you for letting me be a part of your life like this

user71 i know the girl is GIGGLING rn

yourusername thank YOU for making a part of YOUR life

user72 get yourself a man who THANKS you for being with you

user73 oscar piastri is the MAN

user74 osco 🥹🥹

user75 theyre the cutest your honour

arthur_leclerc cant believe you two are actually together

arthur_leclerc what is WRONG with you oscarpiastri

user76 SO OPPOSITES DOES ATTRACT

charles_leclerc i feel like i should tear those adoption papers apart no?

user77 nicole and pascale in the likes omg the moms r proud 🥹

hattiepiastri i miss youuuu come back to aus soon

yourusername I MISS YOU TOO 😭😭 i’ll be back soon!!

lorenzotl ❤️❤️❤️

liked by the author!

lilymhe double date when?

yourusername mark your calendar, we’ll be there 🫶

user78 does it mean we lose our favorite rbr girlie? 😭😭😭😖😖

user79 mclaren YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM US 🫵

yourusername i am NOT wearing that ugly orange for a MAN (even if hes super gorgeous and sweet)

mclaren ☹️☹️☹️

landonorris it’s papaya

yourusername “it’s papaya” ☝️🤓

landonorris oscarpiastri please break up with her or you’re gonna be paying for my therapy

oscarpiastri send the bill mate, i’m in for the longest ride possible here

[incognit0slut]

Much Ado About Nothing

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Bau Reader Genre: Romance, humor, angst Warnings: 18+ explicit sexual content in later parts Series status: on hiatus

There is one rule you and Spencer agreed on: never talk about the past, especially when that one regretful night strained your friendship. But throw in nosy teammates, an obvious matchmaking scheme, and a never-ending battle of wits—the line between friend and foe starts to blur as you find yourself questioning your true feelings.

a/n: I’m starting a new series after a while and am so excited!! When I found out that the movie ANYONE BUT YOU was based on a William Shakespeare play, I got inspired, so I wanted to do a fun and sexy read for the summer☀️

ACT I - THE BEGINNING

Act I, Scene I: The Silent Agreement

Act I, Scene II: The Crude Suggestion

ACT II - THE PLAN

Act II, Scene I: The Suspicious Scheme

Act II, Scene II: The Crazy Idea

ACT III - THE DECEPTION

Act III, Scene I: The Fake Dating

Act III, Scene II: The Dangerous Game

Act III, Scene III: The Close Encounter

Act III, Scene IV: The Quiet Morning

Act III, Scene V: The Temporary Bliss

ACT IV - THE TRUTH

Act IV, Scene I: The Unspoken Words

Act IV, Scene II: The Flashback (15/08/24)

Act IV, Scene III: The Heartfelt Talk (22/08/24)

ACT V - THE END

Act V, Scene I: The Unexpected Surprise (29/08/24)

Act V, Scene II: The Happy Start (05/09/24)

*please note that the titles may change in the future

I decided there will be no taglist for this, so make sure to check my blog on each date, but I might have to apologize in advance if I don’t stick to the schedule. I’ll still try my best though especially if there are feedbacks, knowing what you guys think of this series would be so nice and would keep me motivated. See you in future updates⁠!!🫶

[rikkivoid]

this is my final post! the past few years have been amazing - thank you for everything <3 (more info below the cut)

I will no longer post on this account and wanted to write a note to explain and say goodbye.

Bnha and the bkdk fandom have been a constant source of joy and excitement in my life since 2018 - you were all so kind and encouraging towards me, and I grew so much in skill and confidence as a result! I’ll really treasure my time in this fandom. I loved experiencing so much incredible fanwork and freaking out over exciting moments from the series with everyone in real time. (I still remember choking on my drink and falling to the ground when I saw the vol.29 cover on my tl omg… it was life changing.)

I went on hiatus last year to reconnect with my passion for making art outside of bkdk and learn what I wanted to create without the influence of external validation. I had time to reflect on how much I was influenced by numbers on social media. I thought they didn’t affect me, but in truth, they completely ruled my artistic judgment and decisions. I found new hobbies, new media, experimented with different mediums and subject matters, and in the end… I rediscovered my joy for making art! 

This year, I gave myself a fresh start instead of returning to this account. This is partly because I really enjoy exploring erotic and transgressive themes and I don’t want to share it on a large account to people who followed me under a different pretense haha. But the main reason is that I wanted to create a space without any expectation for what kind of art I should make based on my previous work (since I know the majority of people follow me because I draw bkdk, and I mainly draw ocs and unrelated fanart now). 

All this to say, I hope we can cross paths in the future, but if that day never comes, thank you for the wonderful memories and support you’ve given me over the years! This fandom has so many incredible people in it and I sincerely wish you all the best. PLUS ULTRA!!!! and farewell! :’3

Lots of love,

Rikki <3 

[This account will stay up, but I won't be checking it much. If you have any questions or would like to get in touch, email me at rikkivoid@gmail.com and we can go from there!]