#(i cannot explain myself i just enjoy a good hat)

[retquits]

loved sam n elliot in the baseball caps >:D (can we get sebby too? 👉👈🥺)

yeah i got you 😎 check back around this time tomorrow

[falloutjuli]

After a long debate with myself slelf I gave up and said “Fuck it, we publishing this now”. I felt like something was missing but I cannot for the life of me find out what. Anyways, Im hella down for a potential second part, so lemme know if yall would be interested in it, I‘d make the reader afab in that one tho.

Btw unless specified, I normally try to keep the reader gender neutral.

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NSFW Johnny x Reader - Talk dirty to me

Wordcount: roughly 2.2k

Short summary: Johnny discovers some mosquito bites on his companion and they get talking about some naughty stuff.

Warnings: Masturbation, Blowjob, Johnnys bug bite fetish, dirty talking, reader really likes some jockey from Kentucky (whoever that may be lmao)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

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A book, campfire, a starry night sky, and two good friends. What more could one ask for? You certainly couldn't as you were comfortably laying down on your sleeping bag, skimming the pages of the book you picked up in the last town. It was just a little something to keep you busy during breaks.

"Whatcha readin'?" Johnny asked next to you, leaning over a little. You were laying on your stomach, not bothering to look over. "Romance novel. It's quite crappy though." You replied and Gyro let out his signature Nyo-ho-ho.

"Romance? Never took you for that kind of person." He said and sat down on his sleeping place. "I do not actually read it normally; I just took whatever I found in the store. But man, it's so bad. I feel sorry for anyone who got this with the genuine intention of enjoying it." You replied and closed the book. You'd make sure to grab a new one in the next town.

Gyro and Johnny just laughed before falling into a casual conversation that you just listened to. It was a nice relaxing Time in-between the heated race where you had to focus 100%. You sat up to get rid of your coat. It was more than warm enough, especially with the fire nearby, so you tossed it aside before laying back down. Your head found place on your crossed arms to rest and relax as you thought about which paths to take tomorrow.

Gyro and Johnny had stopped talking and silence lingered around the little camp. Your eyes looked up and saw Gyro laying down too, his signature hat placed onto his face. Looking over to you right you saw Johnny staring intensely at you, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Johnny?" Once he heard his name spoken, he prayed his eyes away. "Yeah?" "Why were you staring at me?" Johnny hesitated, his head looking from left to right. "Eh, you got a mosquito bite." He pointed out, his finger pointing at your arm. You turned to have a look at it and sure enough, four bites, varying in sizes. "Ah shit, they got me through the coat." You cursed, not knowing which effect these insignificant bites had on your blond friend.

He coughed, still looking incredibly flustered. You laid your head back down on your arms, enjoying the rest and not paying much attention to Johnny's weird behavior. You only noticed something was off when his eyes constantly went to your arm throughout the next half an hour.

He didn't know you watched him through your hair that nicely covered your face. Was it maybe worry, that you might have gotten an infection? Mosquitos did carry diseases so it could explain his weird behavior. But that theory was out of the window when he hesitantly extended his arm to have his fingers brush over the bites. As soon as his fingers touched your skin, you felt incredibly hot, unsure what to do.

His expression seemed pained almost, as he was biting his lip, his eyes squinting. "Johnny?" You called out, feeling a little weirded out as you weren't sure how to interpret his doing. Never in your life have you seen someone turn around so fast, desperately trying to pretend that didn't happen.

"Johnny, I know you're awake."

"I'm not."

"Sure." You replied sarcastically and waited but he wasn't going to explain himself. You came closer, poking him in his side.

"Johnnnyyy. Explain yourself. I'm not mad or anything, I just wanna know whyyy." You whined, your poking continuing before he grabbed your hand and shushed you. He arched his back, checking on Gyro who was still soundly sleeping, not noticing the commotion.

"Okay. But don't tell any soul! I will shoot you if you dare to tell anyone!" He threatened, aiming his finger at you. "Promise." You said and sat cross legged. Johnny propped himself up with his arms, his face looking away as he hesitantly spoke.

"Well I... This is really embarrassing but... I have a bug bite fetish." You blinked a couple of times. "A. what." "B-Bug bite fetish." You nodded slowly, trying to process.

"So you find my mosquito bites hot?" Johnny let himself fall back onto his back, his hands coming up to cover his face. "Shut up." He said, as you chuckled slightly. "Nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone got their fantasies or fetishes." "Even you?" He moved his hands slightly to peer at you from under his beanie he had pulled down.

"Like I said everyone. I bet even Gyro does." You laughed and looked over to the Italian man.

"T-then tell me one of yours! That'd only make it fair!" You waited for a moment, pretending to think about it while scratching your chin. "Mhm, fine, for fairness after all." You shrugged, making Johnny finally remove his hands from his flustered face.

"I have this fantasy about riding." Johnny looked at you dumbfounded. "Riding? You mean as in horse riding?" You shook your head. Scooting even closer to him, you leaned down to his face. Your breath tickled his ear, which made the blond shudder.

"No, I really wanna ride this one genius jockey from Kentucky." Johnny’s eyes widened, he swallowed harshly, trying to get rid of the sudden feeling of suffocating from embarrassment.

"Do you?" He finally spoke, hearing you chuckle as soon as he said that. "Yeah. I wanna see his face as I show him I don't only ride horses. I wanna hear him say my name as I choke on his dick. I wanna show him what I can give him, shower him in praise as he marks me as his. God I really have a thing for that man." With that you drew back, looking at him.

His face was covered in a huge blush, his fingers fiddled with one another on his chest, the effect your words had clearly visible by the way his pants bulged. "Night Johnny!" You happily declared, content with your work, getting back on your bag to lay down and rest, a big smile stretched across your face.

"H-Hey!" He called out desperately, almost too loud before he remembered he wouldn't want Gyro to wake up to this. "You can't just go to sleep now!" His hand shook your shoulder as your back was facing towards him. The way he reacted to all of this had you giddy.

"I can't? I thought we were just talking about fantasies! And I told you mine, so it's all said and done." You toyed with him, growing amused by how desperate he was to get a reaction from you. "Aw Darlin', come on, don't leave me hanging like that!" You bit your lip. Damn, that accent had you weak. That damn jockey from Kentucky.

"Well... I guess it'd be rude to get you all worked up like that. But i will need something from ya." Johnny stared at you impatiently, only wanting to hear your demand.

"Beg." You stated dryly, smirking when he shyly looked away trying to hide his reddening face.

"Please. Please help me get some relieve." You laughed and presented him the bitten shoulder. You looked at him through half lidded eyes as you spoke. "You sound pretty like that. I might need that incorporated in my own fantasies." "How dirty." "Rich coming from the guy begging." You got him there.

Johnny knew it was better to not get too snarky otherwise you could easily decide to not help him anymore, so he pushed his sassy side aside to play by your rules. "Why don't you tell me more about that Kentucky guy thing?" He asked as his hand wandered down into his pants.

"Oh him?" You made sure to get seated between his legs as you continued. "Well... He's just the prettiest guy ever. Man, those strong arms make you wish he uses them on you. I mean God, I wanna be pinned by him." Johnny’s breath staggered, and you looked down to his lower half to see his hand wrapped around his cock, stroking it.

"And you wanna ride him?" You nodded, enjoying the image of said scenario. You kept your eyes closed as you continued talking. "I once saw a good bit of his torso while he changed shirt. Wow. That's when I first had that thought. I just wanna show him how good I can make him feel, ride him until he begs me to stop." Johnny leaned forward, his forehead resting on your shoulder and his heavy, irregular breath hit your skin, giving you goosebumps.

"You think he would do that?" He asked. "Potentially? I mean you can never know. I always try to imagine what face he will make when he cums. How it'd feel if his hands grip into my skin, leaving marks. I sometimes wonder if he'd mark me."

"I bet he would." Johnny answered, his answer barley a whisper mixed with soft moans as his hand keeps working on himself. It felt so special that he played along to your little game. "Oh, to be his. Sometimes when I'm on the road with him, I only think about him in dirty ways. I'm a hopeless case." Johnny’s tongue flicked over your shoulder, giving the bites a careful lick. He could feel you shudder.

"Wow darlin' you sure got a dirty mind." You wanted to snarkily reply so badly, but you much rather listened to his breathless whispers against your skin. "To know you so shamelessly think about that guy all day long..." You nodded absentmindedly. Slowly you turned your head to him, waiting until he lifted his head to look at you too. The image of his lust filled eyes, the flustered expression and his dick in his hand was now forever engraved in your brain.

"If Gyro wasn't so close by... The...the Things I would do to you... They'd make even him blush." "Same here." He replied before biting his lips. He imagined those things and it felt suddenly even harder to control himself.

"What would you do?" You questioned. "I'd already have you on me, fulfilling what you were fantasizing about. I want you to scream my name." "For you I'd do anything." A sort of starring contest broke out between you too as you only looked at one another with hungry eyes. Damned be Gyro.

At last, you made the move to slowly get down, trying to not break eye contact while doing so. Carefully you shooed his hand away from his cock to replace it with yours. As soon as you did you could notice that Johnny's breath hitched, making you smirk. With great anticipation, Johnny watched you dragging your tongue from bottom to top before a chunk of his dick disappeared in your mouth.

The blond threw his head back, a moan escaping his lips before he quickly pressed his hand upon it to keep quiet. His reactions only motivated you more, making sure to put extra care in everything you did. Your tongue swirled around his tip when you weren't busy seeing how deep you could take him in.

Seemingly pleased with your efforts the hand that previously kept his mouth shut now found its way into your hair, gripping it from time to time while you worked away on him. It didn't take long until you could tell by his breath, whimpers and suppressed moans that he was getting close.

Determined to end with a bang you bobbed your head up and down a few more times before taking in as much as you could with a hum. The sensation of it and the sight was too much for Johnny to handle and so he came deep in your throat.

You patiently let him ride it out, giving him one final lick to clean him up, before getting up, letting him watch you swallow his cum.

The confident smile that adorned your lips was now forever stuck in his mind. With the back of your hand, you wiped away any leftover saliva around your mouth before getting up to get your water canteen.

Johnny was left behind still feeling high on life before he too quickly fixed himself up. A bit of awkwardness lingered in the air now that the deed was done. Johnny awkwardly got back to his sleeping bag to lay there staring at the sky and you soon did the same.

You twiddled with your thumbs, all confidence from before gone now. The silence was only broken when Johnny decided to break it.

"Hey Y/N?" You hummed, signaling for him to continue. "How about at the end of the stage, when we stay at the hotel, we take a break from Gyro?"

"To do what?" A moment passed before he answered.

"For you to show that Kentucky guy your riding skills?" You had to smile, a chuckle even escaping you.

"Sounds good to me."

The awkwardness drifted away to be replaced by comfort and warmth. You two went from looking at the stars to looking at each other. You adored the way his blond hair fell around his face, framing it perfectly and pretty blue eyes that looked at you. That damn Kentucky guy would now even more dominate your thoughts, especially since you still had a good bit of way to cover until the stages end. Damned be Johnny.

[dearestaeneas]

Eda’s Moving Castle- [Raeda]

Word Count: 2030

after many, many desperate attempts to work through writer’s block, here’s a little...Howl’s Moving Castle au. maybe I’ll do more parts if there’s an interest for it! I’m hopeful just forcing myself to write something silly like this will get...creative juices (ew) flowing again.

Enjoy!

(reblogs > likes)!!!

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“Hooty, is that Raine?” Luz gasped, stopping dead in her tracks. Her cloak fell to the ground, the insistent knocking on the door suddenly falling on deaf ears. The owl-shaped flame flared up, its wings spreading before the fiery bird shook himself out. “They were stumbling around in the Boiling Wastes. I stopped the castle and King brought them in!”

    “Does Eda know?”

    “She’s still out,” King piped up from beneath the wooden staircase, casting aside the pale purple fabric that acted as a makeshift door for the makeshift bedroom. He pointed to the little circle above the door, which was divided into quarters and each quarter painted a different color. Currently, the arrow pointed to the quarter painted black. Luz had stumbled through it from the human realm some years prior, confirming for Hooty and King where the mysterious door led.

    Another furious knock on the front of the castle jolted Luz back to the task at hand, and she flung the cloak around her shoulders, instantly turning into a long purple and gold cloak, the hood of it becoming a pointed purple hat. As Luz introduced herself as ‘The Good Witch Azura’ in a voice slightly higher than her own, Raine stirred in their seat, one eye opening slightly to take in the room. “YOU’RE AWAKE!” Hooty shouted. Startled, they toppled out of their chair, sprawling onto the floor. Luz, glancing over her shoulder, suddenly firmly pressed a wrapped package into unnamed hands, an accompanying voice trying to ask her questions but being drowned out by her usual voice all but shouting: “IF THERE’S A PROBLEM COME BACK LATER.” Before slamming the door shut.

    The trio crowded around them as they pulled themselves to a pained sitting position, Hooty’s sparks flicking wildly onto the floor in front of the hearth. “How did you find us?” King asked, not giving Raine a single moment to collect themselves. “Eda said last time she saw you, your whole brain deal was all gooed up with Belos propaganda.”

    “...Is that really how she said it?” they asked quietly.

    “More or less,” Luz nodded.

    Raine considered this a moment before continuing. “It’s more or less true, I suppose.”

    King, Luz, and Raine sat at what tripled as a kitchen table, a writing desk, and a junk drawer. Hooty burned with visible annoyance, having just been viciously bullied by King into heating up one of the many kettles for tea. He grumbled as Raine explained how they found themselves wandering the Wastes, talking animatedly as tea spilled with every movement of their hands.

    “Eda was really worried about you,” Luz said nervously when they finished. “She’ll be even more worried now when she finds out you’re doing all this under cover stuff.”

    “Only until the Day of Unity. I have to do this, it’s the only way to keep her safe…to keep everyone safe.”

    King tapped his claws against the teacup, a furious click-click-click-click-click announcing his concern. “This can’t be the only way.”

    “King’s right,” Luz added. “This is too risky, what if Belos finds out that mind control stuff isn’t working on you? Eda could-”

    “No,” Raine interrupted, his teacup clattering firmly against its saucer. “Luz, your heart’s in the right place, but it isn’t safe. You know what they’d do to her if they caught her. I can do this, you have to believe that.”

    “Of course we believe in you,” Luz said as King nodded furiously. “But that doesn’t mean you should have to do this alone. We can help.”

    Raine smiled despite themselves. A lot had changed. “I’m not doing it alone. And you can help me by keeping yourselves safe. I need you to promise me something, though. Eda cannot know about this. If she thinks I’m myself, she won’t take no for an answer. You have to keep this a secret. As far as she’s concerned, I’m fully…brain gooed.”

    “Raine, that’s too much,” King said, visibly upset. “That’s not fair to any of us.”

    “Please,” they pleaded. “It won’t be for long, this is the only way I can keep her safe.”

    Hooty and Luz shared a look of deep discomfort before both nodded slowly. King’s head whipped back and forth as he tried to force them to make eye contact with him. “You’re kidding!”

    “Raine’s right,” Luz said sadly. “We don’t really have a plan of our own to stop the Day of Unity, and there’s a really good chance Eda might rush in and get hurt. The only reason we’ve been as cautious as we have been is because she didn’t want to risk anything happening to them.” With this, she gestured to Raine, who deflated. They didn’t want to lie to Eda, there was nothing they wanted more than to tell her the truth and rush in against Belos as a unit, but it wasn’t practical. All of this had been to protect her, and what was the use of that if they were willing to risk her safety when it mattered the most?

    “She’s back,” Hooty said urgently. Immediately, the dial by the door spun from the black quarter to a light purple one. When Luz came to live in the castle, she’d repainted the dial, excited to match her home to her Azura robes.

    Eda entered, hands full of human trophies. Literally. One object she held was a gold-painted plastic cup reading “Best Fishing Dad.” There was a swordfish on it. Inside the cup were several doll heads, clearly discarded from different dolls. Luz shuddered as Eda slammed the loot onto the table, a few heads popping out and rolling to the floor with the motion. “Look at these puppies!” Eda said proudly.

    As she said it, she looked up, making full eye contact with Raine. They quickly tried to erase all the affection from their face, for fear she’d see through the lie immediately. “Wh—?” she started.

    “Hooty found them in the Wastes,” Luz interjected quickly. Eda’s attention appeared to be divided by the interruption, although her eyes never left them. “We think Belos took all he needed from them, and abandoned them. We think they’re still under his control.” King shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, but Eda was too distracted to even see him.

    “So we’ll find a way to break the curse or spell or whatever it is,” she replied. “That’s all there is to it.” She set to work busying herself, making a point to not make eye contact with anyone, allowing Luz, Raine, and King to share a concerned look. The castle jerked as Hooty attempted to lean out of the hearth to join in the Look Sharing, knocking a full pile of papers and glass bottles onto the floor with a loud clatter. Raine immediately ducked down and began helping Eda picking the discarded objects up. Their hands brushed and Eda’s face went bright red before she shot up and stalked toward the window. “I could talk to Lilith. She should still have all her, whatever, from the Emperor’s Coven. She’ll be able to help.” She said it with a forced finality before turning on her heel toward the door, twisting the dial so the arrow pointed from purple to yellow.

    She hesitated, one hand resting on the doorknob as the other reached for her palisman. “Should…they come with me?” The question was asked as if Raine wasn’t even in the room. Behind her back, Luz watched a wave of sadness come over their face. She opened her mouth to say something before they cut in, “Lilith can bring me back to Belos!” They casted a desperate look toward Luz and King, silently urging them to help.

    Luz inched forward to Eda, speaking low to her alone. “If they think you’re helping them back to their Coven, they might be able to tell you how to help them, even if it’s…not on purpose.” She cringed at the lie, feeling her skin begin to crawl. Eda seemed to brighten at this, immediately appearing more confident. She turned to face them, and Raine fought a smile seeing her look like herself again.

    “Hooty, keep the castle in the Wastes while we’re gone, I don’t want to risk anyone coming here when I don’t know how long we’ll be.” She walked up the Raine, holding their hands within her own. “I’ll figure it out.” They attempted to keep a neutral face as she did this, but the second she turned they let out a huff of air that caused Luz to suppress a squeal. They shot her a look of warning, but immediately diffused it with a gentle smile before responding to Eda’s beckon to follow.

    They stepped into the wastes, the dry ground blowing up with the breeze. The trees around them reached into the sky, their dark branches spindling into the clouds. Her palisman came alive, wings spreading as she reached a hand out to them, steading the pair before the staff lifted into the air. They held tight to her waist, her hair whipping around them in the wind. The scenery below them shifted from the Wastes to the market, little dots of other witches going from stall to colorful stall. Eda spoke as they flew above each area, telling stories about the two of them in hopes it would jog their memory. “Do you remember when every potion shop in the Isles banned me, so you had to go from stall to stall for me?” They heard every other word because of the sound of the wind, but they still smiled with the memory, grateful she couldn’t see their face.

    “It’s how I know no one in the Isles actually hates me. Besides, Belos, of course. And….well most people. Some people. It’s how I know some people in the Isles don’t actually hate me. They had to have known you were running errands for me.” Raine snorted and then quickly put a hand to their face, as if to take back the sound. The truth was that everyone did know they were doing errands for her, and they were eventually also banned from every potion shop in the Isles. They had eventually just brewed the potion themselves for her, coming back hours later and promising her they had scoured the whole isle. It was too late, though, because Eda stiffened against them. Slowly, the palisman descended into the woods, dodging treetops before landing rather abruptly in mossy undergrowth.

    She spun to face them, knuckles turning white with how hard she clutched the palisman. “You remember that?” she whispered. They turned away from her and she cupped their face, so gently, forcing them to turn to face her again. “You reacted to that. Raine, do you remember that?”

    “That’s not what happened,” they replied quietly. “Not fully, at least-”

    She pulled them in and kissed them, cutting off whatever they were about to say. As she finally pulled away, before Raine could collect themselves enough to speak again, she smacked them in the shoulder with her palisman, light enough for it to be a semi-playful gesture and hard enough for them to rub it afterwards with a slightly offended look on their face.

    “How long?!”

    “...Whole time…?”

    She held her palisman up again, as if to swing it a second time, as they waved their hands out defensively. “Let me explain. Belos doesn’t know the mind control wasn’t working on me, I’ve been able to essentially be under cover in the Coven, and I had to lie to you because I didn’t…you’re…UGH.”

    They put their head into their hands, desperately trying to explain in a way that didn’t sound like they thought she couldn’t take care of herself, a defense she would absolutely mention. To their surprise, they felt her hand on their shoulder. “I understand. I just wish you felt like you could have told me. You shouldn’t have to do this alone.”

    Suddenly, they wrapped their arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. She jerked, shocked before settling into it. “I’m sorry. I had to,” they said quietly.

    “Don’t apologize,” she said. “But now? We’re doing this together. No more secrets.”

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Talking Heads - More Songs About Buildings And Food

This album is the beginning of the legendary team up of David Byrne and Brian Eno. Rather than help polish their sound Eno understood that the shaky offbeat nature of the music was the appeal. Byrne's anxiety and confusion towards things around him is, as usual, in full display. Now this isn't really my favorite Talking Heads album, but that's like saying it isn't my favorite flavor of ice cream. Still I feel like there is a steady step up in quality for each of their first four albums and this one being in the middle of that evolution makes me feel like it's more or less on here because of Take Me To The River. That leads into my last point. Take Me To The River is one of their best songs. I've gushed about how much I like Al Green before so when I say that I much prefer the Talking Heads version you understand how much that means. Green's soulful original has nothing on the neurotic spin that Byrne gives the song.

Parliament - Mothership Connection

The influence this album, and the entire P-Funk catalogue, has had on music is staggering. Tracks from Mothership Connection are some of the most frequently sampled in all of hip hop history and George Clinton still produces to this day. But that's not what it's about, that's just what it is. I cannot explain to you in words why a song whose lyrics sheet is mostly "Gaga goo ga Gaga goo ga Gaga goo ga ga" is one of the best things ever written. I could put on the reviewer hat and talk about how the mythology represents an idea of hyper positive afrofuturism that necessarily can't take itself too seriously without diluting the message and how this relates to the dying excitement for the civil rights movement from the 60s. But that is only half the story. The other half is an interstellar DJ coming at you from the Chocolate Milky Way to tell you about the messianic Starchild and his battle with perpetual downer Sir Nose d'Voidoffunk. It's chaotic, funky, psychedelic, utterly thrilling, infinitely memorable and just one of the best albums of all time. It's honestly fucked up that it isn't at least within the top 100.

Luther Vandross - Never Too Much

This is my first time knowingly listening to Luther Vandross. He seems really happy! Like usually when you get a soul funk type guy he's always got this seductive smoldering vibe going on. But Vandross is just so excited to brag about how good his girl is. I can hear his smile. He's backed by a fantastically corny all synth funk orchestra with a hint of disco. It's not an album I'd put on myself, but I was definitely enjoying it.

My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade

Gerard Way seriously shows of their musical chops on this album. While I like other MCR records better, I can't deny that this has the best musical arrangements. And yes, you heard me right I prefer the rest of MCR's discography over Black Parade. Yes even Danger Days. Fite me. The thing about Black Parade is that, while a fantastic album overall, it feels lyrically extremely overwrought in places. And I'm sorry, but this is specifically a problem for me in most of the actually popular songs on the album. Mama, Teenagers, and yes even the title track kinda have me rolling my eyes a bit. And the bonus track, Blood, makes me want to jump out of my skin from schadenfreude. Thankfully these moments don't tank the album quality overall, but I think it deflates a bit from Mama onward.

Funkadelic - One Nation Under A Groove

It may seem odd that George Clinton led two bands simultaneously that shared most of their personnel. But see Parliament was more dance oriented and focused of the spiritual character focused side of the P-Funk mythos where Funkadelic was more psychedelic and soul focused with an emphasis on secular aspects of the mythology. This album focuses on tight grooves and long form improvisation while Uncle Jam tells you how to pledge allegiance to the nation of Funkadelica. You can always count on not getting normal ass shit where George Clinton is involved. And this album is just that. Long bass grooves with the guitar doing basically whatever it want and gang vocals that are mostly weird chants. This is the only album where you'll hear someone yell "the world is a toll free toilet" over literally the best groove you've ever heard.

Big Star - Radio City

#1 Record is obviously the better record so why was it rated lower than this one? It clearly goes Radio City < Third < #1 Record. Whatever, more or less repaste what I said about their first record but with like 30% less enthusiasm I guess? Don't misunderstand me, I love this record. I love Alex Chilton's rougher more indie take on power pop. Definitely listen to all three Big Star records, they're fantastic. (Also listen to Chilton's solo debut Like Flies On Sherbet. Everyone hates it because it sucks but its also secretly actually really good. But it does suck tho. Like in a good way.)

[steamedtangerine]

Dan the Bagelman

Been thinking about Dan Kontoff (aka. Dan the Bagelman and Bagelman Dan) lately.

When I first arrived by Greyhound in Boston in 12 years ago, I was waiting on the Redline platform, when some fake well-dressed dude launched into a shpeel “s’cuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Can I have your undivided attention? A’hm cuwwently homeless. I live in a cemetery....yadda-yadda-yadda.” (Colbert did an accurate imitation of this in his monologue to a dead crowd once on his show-and I think I’m the only one you got it.). Then I noticed this big dude with a hat with tons of buttons on it standing next to me suddenly cut the fake pan-handler off by bellowing “Go to St. Francis! They’ll help you at Francis House” The faker then BS-ed about how Francis House wouldn’t help him. “That’s a lie. St. Francis won’t turn away anyone!”, and then button-hat named three more places.....all of which the phony muttered that none of those places will help him.

Well, I was homeless too; so, I approached button-hat for some directions, and he told me where the Sallys in Cambridge was. I introduced myself, and he said his name was Bagelman Dan.

Within a week of being in Cambridge, I got re-established with FNB there. As we cooked meals every week, we’d jabber about all kinds of things, and one of the names that popped-up was Bagelman Dan. I immediately explained that one of the first persons I met in Boston was Bagelman Dan, and they had a chuckle. Dan had been with FNB when they first started out. I cannot recall if he was the reason they established a contract with Whole Foods to acquire their day old bagels (and muffins, baguettes, 12-grains, sourdoughs, Ciabattas, pies, etc.) by the bagload to give away at the meal sites, but it may be a part of his namesake.

I encountered Dan two more times commuting to jobs (on the subway train lines, of course), and I reminded him how we met, and he seemed in good spirits.

When Occupy launched, I was sent to the FNB tent at the site outside South Station. Everything was a chaos and uncertainty at the birth of something that was just establishing itself, and there was Dan in the thick of it enjoying himself. He was in his element. He strategically knew what had to be done, and he would tell one person to set up that and tell another person to go put those crates there and leave rooms for that, etc. He was the reason we had planted a solid operation feeding folks there there for close to three months (that and the scores of people sending in loads of food, bags, crates, sealed tubs of grains, produce, etc.). With my health taking it’s trademark dive (and I was working and couldn’t afford to fall heavily ill) I was kept to the FNB HQ making meals and keeping all the heavy surplus of donations flowing in rotated and organized....but when I went there to help out or engage in votes and rallies, I’d see Dan there.

First impressions matter-even for cities. I can only say that in the year and half time I was there, I’ve only met about a little over half a dozen souls in the Boston area that I know without a doubt were on the level (and oddly enough, I could find that same amount in even shorter of a span of time in the tinier adjoining state of Rhode Island), but I believe Dan comes close. Hope he’s still rattling cages.

[mistiell]

Quirks Arcane Characters Have Pt.2

A/N: I am fresh out of ideas but I wanted to give y’all something today so here’s this. Also, I’m working on a kinda long Viktor x reader fic rn so stay tuned for that! I might put out a preview for it tomorrow depending on how much more I get done. Anyways, enjoy!

Viktor

- Has a raging sweet tooth

- one of your cupboards is dedicated to his stash of sweets

- You’re the only one who’s allowed to steal from it

- Also, this man can put away food like it’s nothing

- Like, you would never guess just looking at him, but he can eat

- If you cook/bake as a hobby, he will gladly try anything you make.

- Will eat your food 100% of the time

- It does not matter if it tastes good or not. If you make it, he will eat it.

- He steals your clothes

- He says it’s because his are in the laundry but it’s actually because they smell like you

- Dw though cause he’ll give you his to make up for it :)

Jayce

- leaves his laundry all over the bedroom

- He doesn’t do it on purpose, but it can be so annoying lmao

- does a little happy dance whenever something goes his way.

- Sometimes it’s just a little fist pump, other times it’ll be, like, a little jig

- It depends on how big the success is

- Has a dream journal

- I will not explain myself on that one

Silco

- Doesn’t like sweet things very much

- If a food is too sweet, it actually makes him nauseous

- Cannot stand when you twist around to crack your back

- He actually gags

- He keeps all of the drawings Jinx makes for him on the fridge like the proud dad he is

Vi

- Drums random beats with her fingers when she’s bored

- does it on any surface that’s available

- Willing to fight anything that looks at you the wrong way

- Doesn’t mean she will, but she is ready to at the drop of a hat

- Physically incapable of remembering to make the bed

- Will do it with you when you ask her, but always forgets otherwise

- Her logic is that she’s gonna mess it up at the end of the day anyway (I mean, same, honestly-)

Jinx

- terrified of spiders

- Will not admit it though

You, running into the room after hearing a scream and several objects being knocked over: wHAT? WHAT HAPPENED??

Jinx, standing on a chair looking like a deer in the headlights: I-... um...

- you look at where she keeps glancing and spot the issue

You: ... You screamed bloody murder... because of a spider.

Jinx: wH- NO! ARACHNOPHOBIA’S FOR WHIMPS-

- You’re gonna have to kill the spider for her

- which is gonna suck if you’re also scared of spiders but like

- she’s not gonna do it so-

Mel

- Unlike Vi, she has to make the bed in the morning

- She feels like it makes the room look too messy

- Has so many pillows

- The queen at comebacks

- Unafraid to roast the fuck out of someone given the correct circumstances

- If someone ever makes a snide comment about you, she will make them regret every decision they’ve made that’s lead them up to this moment

- Makes you little paintings every so often just to show you that she’s thinking of you

[amane-by-together]

Okay idea!!

How about a Hanako x tsundere reader oneshot where Yashiro tells Hanako that the reader likes him and he likes her too. He confronts her about it and she is a blushing mess but denies it. Hanako knows that she likes him so he pins her and kisses her until she says she loves him.

Like *kiss* “say you love me~”

“No meanie..!”

Heehee, I hoped I explained that well enough… a little fluffy and spicy plzzz

Blushing Mess || Hanako-kun

genre: fluff

pairing: hanako-kun x tsundere! female! reader

warning: lots of kisses (◍•ᴗ•◍)

summary: in which hanako tries to break [name]'s tsundere persona to make her confess her love for him by kissing her.

Hanako notices [Name]’s strange behavior whenever he’s around her. When he tries to check her out, [Name] will blush and scoot away from him as she points at him and says. “W-What the hell do you think you’re doing you perv?!” Followed by a punch on his face. One time Hanako tried to tease her, the same blush would appear on her cheeks, and [Name] would call him an idiot for messing with her.

[Name] was minding her own business, mopping the bathroom floor, cleaning the toilets, spraying the mirrors with water, and then wiping them up. Hanako walks up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder and pointing a finger at a foggy spot on one of the mirrors. “You missed a spot.” he chuckled.

“I-I know that I was about to wipe it, stupid.” [Name] scoffed, wiping the spot with the cloth she was holding. Hanako puts his hand on his mouth, his pointer finger touching his nose, then silently chuckles at her response. [Name] pouted slightly, realizing that Hanako was only doing that to catch her off guard.

The [hair color] haired girl finishes up her cleaning, wiping off the sweat rolling down from her forehead. “Man, that took longer than I thought.” [Name] says in an unamused tone as she squeezes out the stored water from the cloth. She turns her head towards Hanako’s direction, a stoic expression written on her pretty visuals. “Oi, I’m finished.”

“Good work, [Name]~” Hanako floated over to his assistant and patted her on the head. [Name]’s eyes were twitching in annoyance, but deep down she’s loving the praise that Hanako was giving her, especially when he’s patting her head like that. She lowered her head, twiddling her fingers as her whole face was heating up. “Your ears were turning red by the way~” He said, touching her ears gently.

“H-Hey!” [Name] stammered out, grabbing Hanako’s hand and yanking it away. She enclosed her reddened ears using her hands, turning away from the teasing male who's now snickering nearby. "J-Jeez, Hanako-kun…"

"Hehe, cutie…" Hanako smirked.

"I-I'm not a cutie, excuse you!" [Name] retorted, crossing her arms and flipped her hair to the side. Her flustered gaze averted from the apparition boy. "And stop teasing me you slimy perverted brat or else," she murmured under her breath. At that moment she looks so done with Hanako’s mischievous antics she could smack the hell out of him.

“Or else what~?” Hanako took her hand on top of his and pulled [Name] closer to him, enveloping an arm around her waist, and grinned at their current position. “Hmm~” he hummed, leaning in a little bit as the tip of their noses were touching.

[Name] was malfunctioning and her poor heart was beating so fast. Without saying anything, she gently shoved Hanako away from her and hugged herself. Hanako obviously enjoyed seeing [Name] all red and flustered because of him. “Why hug yourself?” He asked, embracing her from behind as she squeaked. “If you can be in my arms all day~?” Hanako whispered, gently blowing her ear to tease and his lips slightly grazing to her earlobe.

“You really are a stubborn idiot...” [Name] balled her fist and gave Hanako an uppercut as he was launched backward, hitting him on the back of his head.

“O-Ow…” Hanako rubbed the back of his head in pain, even though he’s a ghost and cannot feel pain. “You don’t have to be so rough with me, you know.” He said, standing up from the floor and laughed sheepishly. [Name] patted her cheeks to ease down her blush, then finally composed herself and faced Hanako.

“I thought ghosts don’t feel pain?”

“Well, our souls are linked together, remember?”

“Right…”

[Name] marched over to Hanako as he was rubbing his head to soothe the pain. She felt bad for punching him, if only he has a sense of personal space. “Here, let me...” [Name] swatted his hand away and removed his hat, her free hand ruffling his soft hair.

Hanako is a bit surprised by the sudden change of behavior. He noticed her cheeks turning red up close, knowing that [Name] is not used to do this kind of kind of thing. He slightly blushed when their eyes met. “D-Don't get the wrong idea.” [Name] murmured. “I'm not doing this because I like you or anything—”

“M-Mhmm...” Hanako hummed in reply.

“Honestly, Hanako-kun...” [Name] sighed, placing his hat back on his head properly. “You should watch your actions, I don't want to assume anything.”

[Name] picks up her bag and slung it over to her back. “I'll see you tomorrow.” She announced, walking out of the bathroom with a bitter tone.

Yashiro enters the bathroom just as [Name] left completely. “Hanako-kun, did you do something to [Name]?” She asked with concern, hoping that the ghost didn't do harsh things with her.

“I was just being clingy with her until she just said to watch my actions—” Hanako explained, trying to reason with Yashiro with his side of the story. The choppy haired male is utterly confused with [Name] lately, is she just being mean with Hanako or she's just being a tsundere?

Yashiro nodded, finally understanding the situation. “There's something between the lines Yashiro,” Hanako started venting with matching movements with his hands as he paced back and forth. “I found [Name]'s denial funny, saying that she hates it yet the blush on her face was obvious that she likes it. Then there's her physically hitting me as I try to flirt with her—”

“She likes you.” Yashiro said.

“And then [Name] starts to stutter when I compliment her—I'm sorry what?” Hanako stopped when he heard Yashiro say something about [Name] liking him.

“I said [Name] likes you.”

Hanako smiled ear to ear, trying to contain his giddiness. He was in love with [Name] ever since and hearing this good news made his day better. “You're not joking, right?”

“Come on Hanako-kun, [Name]-chan is literally blushing at your actions and you didn't get the hint of her having a crush on you! Think Hanako-kun, think about it!” Yashiro puts her hands on the sides of her head to prove that she's not joking. “Why do you think she's a tsundere around you?”

“I guess I'll confirm it myself tomorrow~” Hanako grinned, adjusting his hat.

Hanako plans to confront [Name] about his feelings for him to confirm whether Yashiro was just joking around or it is indeed true.

“[Name]~?” Hanako called in a sing-song voice. The tsundere gripped on her mop and let out a scowl, turning her head towards the ghost's direction.

“What?” She asked.

Hanako smirked slyly on her way, placing his cheek on top of his palm and said. “I heard from a reliable source that you like me~”

[Name] flinched, dropping the mop on the floor and blushed furiously. “W-What?!” She exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger to the teasing ghost. “Who the hell told you that?!”

“So it's true then~?” Hanako grinned.

“W-Wha?” [Name] swatted her hands, turning into a blushing mess. “O-Of course not! Why the hell would I like you?!” Her voice was shaking a bit, trying to make him change his mind. Hanako chuckled deeply, hopping off from the window seat and walked towards her.

“Why are you blushing then~?” [Name] nervously stepped back when Hanako got closer and closer to her. There's no point of denying things anymore, [Name]'s blushing reaction was already a proof that she likes Hanako. “You love me, don't you~?”

[Name] remained silent, her eyes avoiding Hanako's gaze and her signature blush on her visuals. Hanako places his forearm above her head as if to trap her in a kabedon. He grabs her chin using his thumb and pointer finger, tilting it slightly to make [Name] look at him. “My eyes are over here, sweetheart~”

“You really are enjoying this, huh?” [Name] mumbled, her eyes turning soft whilst looking at Hanako, her headstrong facade slowly breaks as she is facing him with her true self. Usually, [Name] would kick him out but for now she isn't doing anything.

“Yeah, actually.” Hanako responded, gently caressing her bottom lip using his thumb. “I wonder how long would it take for you to admit that you love me~?”

[Name]'s [eye color] eyes widened in shock when she felt Hanako's lips connect with hers. The feeling was sweet and soft as butterflies in her stomach fluttered gently in a euphoric manner. Hanako pulls away with a smile. “C'mon~ say you love me~” He urged.

“Shut up, as if...” [Name] grumbled. Hanako kisses her again, this time it was a little longer than before. [Name] moved his hat away from his head and placed it on the ground while he was kissing her.

“I like you too, you know...” Hanako says in between kisses. [Name] pulls away slightly, catching her breath from their intimacy.

“Fine, I l-love you...” [Name] confessed, feeling sour now that Hanako was winning over her.

“I love you too~”

a/n: here's your request anon-san~ sorry if its late though, i hope you enjoy this oneshot, this goes for everyone too (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[real-bjd-recast-community]

I collect legit and recast. I don’t see a problem with buying recasted Volks dolls. Their custom service is terrible and the whole on off model thing and the „company is king not the customer“ attitude piss me off. I can enjoy my beautiful Liselotte in peace without having to pay 1k

Well... maybe, if I might say so myself, Volks it's the only one that might have a little right to be snob bast*rs. And I'll explain why.

It's all about japanese culture.

Not even Asian culture. This is a "japan only" trait.

While Japan it's well known for a long list of good things, from sushi to sakura leaves, sailor moon or shintoism,

It might leave you with a lot of other things like this...

To which, understandably, western human reaction might be like:

So, in essence, JAPAN.

In Japanese culture it's always seen like the one who should work harder for the grater good it's NOT the COMPANY, but the employee or returning customer.

It's almost unheard of japanese people "breaking the moral contract" and buying from different companies. This means that if you're japanese, you're expected to work your WHOLE life on the SAME job, as well as to buy ALL your things from the SAME company. Even if in later generations the winds are shifting, there's still too much of that embedded on the cultural background.

So, many people have a mixed bjd crew (in the rest of the world), of different brands, colors and companies, but for japanese culture, this is simply heresy.

If Volks invented the new wave of resin bjd dolls back in the 99', and you consider they don't have any interest in "outsiders" having their dolls, you realize why to order a doll at (physically) one of their stores in Japan it's so hard, although you might get a standard vinyl DD doll, for not being considered to them "as important as resin ones",

if you want a SD resin one, you need to provide a Japanese shipping address and it takes around a month or two to ship. It's because that way they reduce the amount of tourist getting things (let's just be honest, you need to be loaded to have a two to four MONTHS vacation on Japan).

And their international sites mostly sale the leftovers of japanese releases or Dollparty.

So you get much better chance of getting a Japanese Volks doll from used websites and stores like Mandarake, since japanese culture often believes that souls and spirits can attach themselves to a doll after certain time, so they avoid to get this items "second hand" as much as possible. They even have rituals at Volks central HQ. Not kidding.

So basically Japanese people are the "aliens" of the human world. We all know their far superior than us in many ways, sure, but we don't fully understand them. And they will never take the time to try and understand us either (besides the necessary contact for general commercial relationships, that is).

And I'm not saying this as something against Japan (or Japanese people). I'm saying this because I have at least seven friends who, at some point, either lived in Japan (or are still living there), and themselves are japanese or half japanese. So the contrast in how the culture works It's amazing, and when they visit (here at my state), they tell us about all these amazing details that we, as westerns, cannot comprehend (and it sounds like something from another dimension or from another planet) but this only applies to Japan (and not even to Korea or China).

So Volks being the first company, and at the same time japanese, I can clearly see why they're so "snob looking", and why their dolls are such a fuss to get.

Now, do I agree with it?

NO.

Absolutely no.

But, let's be honest, compared to other companies, at least they have a great explanation for it. They're just utterly convinced that no one outside Japan should have anything made IN Japan, and hat's how they roll.

[hyuneytoast]

Hearts of Roses || Scene 1

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂⇢ “Don’t forget about the thorns.” 

In which you stumble upon Wonderland and the Prince of Hearts. How you end up in Wonderland is something explained as complete nonsense, but also quite simple; Just a key and a door. What if it’s not easy to return from Wonderland, though? A locked door and a lost key; now surely that’s not so bad if it weren’t for the Queen of Hearts’ threatening intentions.

⇢𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓼 》 Prince of Hearts!Hyunjin x Fem!Reader, Fantasy AU, Alice in Wonderland AU, Fluff

⇢𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 》 Explicit language

⇢𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮 》This is pure fiction and is not meant to portray the characters in real life. This also will not be completely accurate to the original themes of Alice in Wonderland. Do not repost, translate, nor steal my work in any way. Please inform me if I missed any warnings or for just any thoughts. (May continue series depending on how this chapter goes). Thank you, I hope you enjoy this!

𝓢𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓜𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽   ||    𝓝𝓮𝔁𝓽

I.

Being in a dream, wether it’s in the middle of a slumber or a simple daydream, plays like a brief solace in the midst of a complex reality. Certainly this must be a dream… right? Everything out of the ordinary, nothing familiar to the everyday world; surely it is. Though, it’s all unbelievably lucid that it leaves too many traces of doubt.

“Ridiculous,” You mutter, constantly blinking your eyes for adjustment. “Where the hell am I?”

On top of lush fields, you sit up with a groan, arms propping your body up from behind. Your thoughts desperately try to recall memories of your sudden blackout, but all is hazy. The tall grass softly brushes against your skin making you shudder at the ticklish feeling. Though your vision gradually adjusts to the observed surroundings, your mind struggles to follow. Concentration seems too far out of possibility at the moment.

Color! Color is simply yet extraordinarily everywhere; contrasting against the rich green base of nature. How could this be? And in such bizarre, enlarged figures too! As if trying to be a forest itself, vibrant mushrooms stand tall like several story buildings. Literally. Mushrooms with umbrella-shaped caps are colored like pumpkins, the noon sky, and even like bright pink gowns at ridiculous parties. They’re woven in between actual trees of the forest, trunks thick as the centuries themselves. From the ground to the branches, roots and vines grow twisted and curled, spiraled into its own embrace. The sky, or what’s left through the canopy, is a cloudless pale blue. A cool, somewhat comforting, breeze hugs the dense forest along with you who helplessly sits within it.

“What a… strange place.”

“Why, you’re not so different yourself!”

Startled, you scan your surroundings in search of the one behind the amused voice. Quite difficult, noting all the forest’s dark crevices to possibly hide in.

“Up here, fool.”

With a light scoff, you peer up to immediately notice a figure sitting on a branch up high. Though he appears mostly human, he also has purple hair, cat-like ears crowned on top, and a fluffy striped tail swaying side to side behind him. His legs swing back and forth as his hands grip the branch, his body leaning a bit forward with curious eyes towards you. The stranger smiles mischievously, bright blue eyes squinting as he speaks in a amused tone. “You, girl, are certainly no local. And I’ve seen almost every person and creature pass these properties! Or may I say, the other way around too.”

You aren’t exactly intimidated, though you could say that, but more rather weary; suspicions growing towards not only the location, but the strange man above. Instead of answering, you turn your attention to a cold item in your hand you’ve unknowingly been fumbling with. A small golden key. Shit, that’s right! You jerk your head behind you to see the dark wooden door you previously entered before passing out. It stands by itself between the trees, clearly out of place; including you. Vaguely, you recall unlocking the unfamiliar door in the basement with a key before ending up here. To add more, it was a new house you had moved into, so of course you had to check all the doors in your own home! Jumping to your feet, you shuffle towards the door, but the same voice interrupts before you can make any further move.

“Don’t go!”

You hesitatingly look up, returning the gaze of the gleaming eyes and securely tucking the key in the pocket of dress. “And why should I listen? I clearly don’t belong here nor even am aware of my own whereabouts. Certainly, that is more than an enough reason to return home.”

“You are the strange one who appeared out of nowhere along with that door of yours. Shouldn’t I be the one fleeing home?” He chuckles. “Now, tell me your name. That is… unless you enjoy being called fool.”

“Y/N.”

“Minho.”

As if the situation could get any more perplexing, it seems as if Minho’s body fades within the colors of the forest surroundings, vanishing completely out of sight. You blink your eyes madly to confirm if you were seeing properly.

“The fuck-” You taut as you slightly rotate your body when something taps your shoulder. “OH GOD!!” You shriek, jumping a few feet back and shielding yourself with your arms.

In front is the same boy who was just up in the tree, now cackling at your reaction. “You fool, acting like you’ve never seen such a sight!”

“Exactly, I-I haven’t! You were just up in the tree, how—” You halt your voice to calm yourself down as you’re still shaken from… well basically everything! Letting out a helpless sigh, you speak once again. “May I remind you, I’m not from this place.”

“Which is why you should stay! You must grow familiar and even fond of Wonderland.”

“W-wonderland?”

“Yes, the place we are in of course, or the world I should rather say. Don’t be so stupid. What’s the harm in—”

“Minho? You aren’t telling yourself your own stories again, are you? You really are cra— Oh my.” Another male treads his way through the thick greenery, twigs snapping in his path as he stumbles in front of the two of you. “Oh no, no, no, you certainly are not having a chat with yourself but rather… who are you?”

The newer male stands dressed in a nicely buttoned, dark suit and bow tie. He’s a tad shorter with a face a bit pointy. Along with black hair brushing down to his eyes, a pair of tall, black bunny ears rest on his head. However, his facial expressions are quite intimidating as he scans you with a cold eyes. Now this was getting impossibly more overwhelming.

“I’m Y/N. I’m not exactly sure how I ended up here, but I do know how to return home. So, if you excuse me, I’ll be out of your way—”

“No, you mustn’t go!” Minho places himself between you and the door in a rather panicked manner. “Don’t tell me our previous conversation was nothing but pointless! Changbin, you’re visiting Chan, am I right?”

“Indeed! In fact…” His hand reaches in the pocket of his pants, pulling out a golden pocket watch. “I hate to admit it, but I’m actually running a bit late.”

“Perfect! Chan enjoys guests and, well, socializing in general I suppose. I’m positive he won’t mind an extra guest!” Minho nudges your arm with his with a wink.

“I’m grateful for the offer, but I think I should be heading home—”

“I suppose he won’t mind…? I’d think about it more, but more time is being wasted as we speak!” Changbin scurries towards you and gently grabs your wrist.

“Please, I believe I must retu—”

“And I believe I don’t want to hear another second of you whining, so go on. Just relax, you anxious fool,” Minho interrupts you again, his prideful, yet annoying, smile plasters his face once more.

“I can assure you will be the most minimal amount of fine and safe!” The rabbit-like male gives you a ‘reassuring’ squeeze that you desperately try to shake off. “Talk to you later Min. Can’t have the tea getting any colder now, can we Y/N?” Changbin tugs you forward, having you give in and follow alongside.

“Good luck~” Minho sings. You look back, watching his body creepily fade away along with his ‘usual’ grin.

“No need for such a long face, Y/N! Though I come unfortunate, no answer to your questions because I have no clue myself, good friends’ supper will indubitably bring cheer.”

You can only nod, weakly smiling in response to Changbin.

A large clearing stands in the midst of the forest. Stone ground with moss woven between the cracks hold up a long rectangular table, a white cloth completely draped over. Dainty floral teacups and teapots decorate the surface, white glass platters topped with pastries and berries. Various cushioned throne-like chairs are placed around, presenting different colors like the mushrooms. Majority of the seats are occupied by other ‘people’ who, too, consist of animal features.

However, the man in the center resting on a giant green seat, appears not of ears nor tails like the rest. Instead, his attentive appearance indulges on his eye-catching patterned suit; and a large top hat crowned on top of short red hair. He smiles at the two of you, clearing his throat before speaking in a rather joyous tone. “Welcome! You’re quite late, Bin, but what’s new. And oh? A face I cannot recall. Whose this?”

“A new company not only to us, but Wonderland!” Changbin chimes. He nudges your arm, insisting for you to speak.

“Ah, yes. I’m Y/N, pleasure to meet you,” You softly say, giving a friendly smile.

“And where do you come from?” The red-haired male asks.

“As strange as it sounds, I entered a door and ended waking up here without any intentions of doing so. I will speak in advance, though, that my time here isn’t forever. I do have a home to return to.”

“Strange? Why, this entire world is normally strange itself! Now sit, sit! Worry about returning when the time comes. I do hope you like tea and, of course, the pastries our dear friend, Felix, made. And on an extra note, my name is Chan.”

“Speaking of who, where is Felix?” Changbin asks eagerly while pulling out a deep orange chair, hands gesturing for you to sit. You take a seat between Chan and another bunny-like person who flashes you a smile, but instead of being all black, he was dressed in a chestnut brown from ears to shoes.

“Extra sudden castle duties have held him back in the castle’s kitchen today. A similar situation also plays for our dear Jeongin. Though, our prince was kind enough to bring down those treats on his way here,” Chan explains as he reaches for a teapot and pours it into the cup in front of you.

“Then… where is the prince?”

“Not a clue, Bin! He dropped the treats off and disappeared without a breath. Moving on, I suppose it would be more than polite if we give ours new friend a proper introduction, hm?”

“Not a doubt! Seungmin is my name, quite nice to meet you, Y/N,” The brown bunny-eared guest next to you beams.

“Likewise, Seungmin.”

“And Jisung is none other than me!” Cheers another male who sits at the far end, his dark hair decorated with brown mouse ears; a long thin tail waves behind him as his hands follow the same motion.

“And as you know, I am Changbin.”

“Now that has taken place, let us help ourselves with scrumptious delights, shall we?”

Would it be foolish to intake the food placed in front of you? Or would it be rude to not? Not wanting to bring any displeasure, you take a nibble of a blueberry muffin. The hint of sweetness along with tart sparks in your mouth and coats your tongue. The treats are undoubtedly tasty! What’s more foolish though? The fact that you are gradually enjoying your time here, a place where it is full of everything bizarrely unknown. Yes, something to scold yourself for, but perhaps for later.

The soft rays of sunshine reflect down upon the gathering. Once in a while, a bright blue butterfly would flutter by, making Jisung smile like that’s all he had knowledge of. Surely and not slowly, the food disappears off the platters, leaving only traces of crumbs. Chats and laughter coated any silence, but none you really took part in. How could you anyway? In the end, you were still ‘lost’ in another world, mindlessly having a tea party… with a group of young strange men…

Despite the obliviousness to time, hours did pass by as you intake the newly colored sky. A roof of pastel purple replaces the blue. The sun was no longer above, but now leisurely descending behind the horizon of tree tops. As if it did not matter, the chattering continues, just like how you remain seated in awkward silence. You look around and notice how intriguing a gather of rosy bushes appear in the forest behind the party. It moves, but not from natural forces like wind, but rather as if someone dove to take cover. Certainly, there was a figure too, but just a glimpse.

After excusing yourself from the table, which no one really seemed to comprehend, you wander into the green and approach the rather unique floral. Tall bushes and vines flourish into no less than a hundred roses. Those roses appeal as if they were abstractly painted with red, and quite literally too.The petals were either dipped in red or partially painted, and the deep color glistened as if the paint was fresh. One touch from your finger left a confirmation as it left a wet, red mark at your fingertip.

“Do you like them?” A honeyed voice asks out of the blue, and in a tone somewhat eager for approval.

You look to your left, taking note of the lone forest now occupied by not only you, but a tall, slender young male who, too, looks human. The stranger has a black mullet, hair falling barely above his eyes, and slightly parted in the middle. There lies a single mole under his left eye and plump lips forming a small pout. Quietly, you take note of the dark blazer draped over his white shirt decorated with a few red paint splatters. Hands fumbling with each other, he peers down at your face with a rather innocent look.

“The roses I mean.”

“O-oh, yes! The roses are very beautiful.” You quickly return your attention to the flowers, not wanting to discomfort to the man by staring at his… highly attractive appearance…

His lips are quick to form into a bright grin, satisfyingly nodding at your response. “Glad to hear! I painted them myself. This bush I mean. I-I mean, I have no intention to brag, and they’re clearly not finished as some are still white-” He halts his words, preventing himself from going on an embarrassing ramble. Instead, he clears his throat, dragging his fingertips across an untainted pearl-like petal. “You may take one if you like.”

“Oh no, it’s okay! They’re very pretty and disturbing such a sight is the last thing I want to do. Thank you for the offer…”

“Hyunjin, the Prince of Hearts! You?”

“Y/N.”

“Well, my dear Y/N, where exactly do you wander from?” He chuckles, hands politely folded in front of him as his body faces fully towards you. “I mean no offense, it’s just that it’s clear you’re not from here. And I don’t intend to be rude, but I couldn’t help but overhear a few conversations coming from the tea party.”

“Not at all, you’re fine! I honestly just walked through a door and ended up here without a clue.” No matter how many times you’ve explained the simplest details about you arrival, you still feel crazily stupid as the words leave your mouth. “Where I come from, simple to say, is very drastic. The nature isn’t so colorful nor such an enormous scale, but rather just a simpler scenery. Or bland I should say. A mushroom there would grow only as big as my palm. And no one comes in forms of rabbit ears or mouse tails. We’re all just... basic humans...?”

Hyunjin clicks his tongue, furrowing his eyebrows in a somewhat disbelief to your description. “In all kind honesty, ‘undeveloped’ seems to suit your world!”

“Yes, compared to Wonderland, it most certainly does,” You giggle. “You believe me, though? I myself think this whole thing is bizarre…” Yes, that is certainly the question. Imagine some stranger coming up to you saying there’re from a different world. Hopefully, your immediate reaction wouldn’t be to believe every word of theirs.

“You think I’m naive, don’t you?” He smirks.

“No! No, that’s not what I’m inferring. It’s just-”

He starts stirring up a laughing fit, his eyes disappearing into crescents. “Oh, I’m messing with you! I can first tell you that I’m not that naive. Or at least I think so… But! I believe you, yes. Wonderland is full of madness, so it would be unfair if I were to not believe you.”

He starts stirring up a laughing fit, his eyes disappearing into crescents. “Oh, I’m messing with you! I can first tell you that I’m not that naive. Or at least I think so… But! I believe you, yes. Wonderland is full of madness, so it would be unfair if I were to not believe you. In fact, from what I’ve learned in books, this isn’t the first.”

“YAH, Y/N!!” You hear a distant, aggressive shout.

Through the bushes, a panting figure comes tripping before Hyunjin and you. His black rabbit ears perk up as he soon stands to face the two of you with a shocked expression;  hands brushing off the leaves and twigs clinging to his suit.

“Hyunjin? We have not seen you at the tea party! And only now you make an appearance not at the table, but in the bushes?”

“Ah, good evening Changbin! Did a bug perhaps make its way in your cup of tea?”

“Fortunately not today, but I came looking for Y/N since I noticed her absence at the table.”

“Well, look at you, being aware at the most absolute wrong timing,” Hyunjin teases, placing his hand on the other male’s shoulder.

“Shut up,” Changbin retorts, brushing the hand off of him. “It’s getting late, especially as we argue. I do suppose, Y/N, you would like to be guided back home? Especially after a long afternoon of dragging you, only to frolic around with tea.”

“Yes, definitely! Thank you very much. I will admit though, I did enjoy my time here.”

Changbin pulls your arm forward, your feet stumbling to keep up with the sudden force. You glance behind your shoulder to view the other boy who has yet to say another word.

“Wait up! I’ll join!”

The entire trip back, the mushrooms and trees remained towered over your heads, sheltering you from practically nothing but a yearning starry sky. Treading back through the forest is something to be also described as walking through a wave of several emotions. Or just for you, to say the least. The silence is, and has been, filled with either the bickering voices of Changbin and Hyunjin, or their hysterical laughing. For you though, your mind couldn’t seem to be kept still. Yes, you are eager to return to your home and properly process everything that just happened. Or, if it is a dream, wake up and develop further scenarios during another dreadful work day. However, a part of you does somewhat feel a sense of disappointment. Returning home meant comfort from this mind twister, but staying a bit longer is also being considered. You just met a group of so far friendly people and a dream-like location you’d like to learn more about. Surely you can’t let it all come to an end after only a few hours! Just like what they say, curiosity kills the cat. Not long later, feet and chattering come to a stop as you’re met with a familiar door.

“It’s sad to say, but I suppose this is where we part,” Changbin huffs out, hands gesturing towards your exit. “It was a pleasure meeting you and I deeply hope this isn’t the end of our encounters.”

“I do too, Changbin. Please send my farewells to everyone else and thank you for the tea and pastries.”

“Absolutely, and safe travels, too! Now if you excuse me, I have an appointment with a friend named Felix that I can’t risk being late to.”

The rabbit friend dashes off with a concerning maniac laugh. Pressing your lips into a thin line, you turn to the door, reaching in your pocket for the key. A hand suddenly places itself on your shoulder, halting your movements and pulling you to face the opposite direction.

“I’ll see you here more in the future, right?” Hyunjin asks, his tone coming out more desperate than intended.

You softly smile at him. “Maybe, if you don’t mind that is. There is a lot I feel like I’m missing out in this world.”

“Please, return and I’ll be glad to show you around!”

Chuckling helplessly, you speak, “Then I shalll see you again, Hyunjin.”

You place the key into the lock of the door knob, turning it until it clicks. Opening the door, you’re greeted by the dusty basement just like how you left it.

“Wait!” The boy takes your hand as you turn around to face him once more. He places a half painted rose in your palm, smiling gently with hopeful eyes. “Please keep it.”

“Thank you,” You reply sweetly. After offering him one last smile, you let your feet return you pass the door and into the emptiness of your home. The cardboard boxes waiting to be unpacked sit like you never even left. You close the door, watching a waving Hyunjin and giant mushrooms disappear behind, before hearing it click as it automatically locks after use.

With a shaky exhale, you collapse to your knees; the cold wood coming in contact with your legs. You admire the gifted rose in your hands and let your mind quietly soak in the events you’ve just experienced.

“What the hell…”

𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽:

@danyxthirstae01​   @sailorhyunjinz​   @rapilne​   @peachy-maia​   @hyunj1nn133​

[pastelwitchling]

It’s that time of year again, folks. Goodness, that feels odd to say after so long. Watching this episode, I realized that I truly do not care about anyone except Alex, and occasionally the pod squad 😂 I’ve watched each of Alex’s scenes at least three times at this point, and watched Isobel mention Alex to Michael twice, but I did also watch the rest of the episode, so without further ado, grab a nice cup of tea, maybe a snack, because here are my (mostly Alex) thoughts on last night’s season 3 premiere.

I was bored watching everyone else 😅 I think a lot of it stemmed from frustration. I still cannot get over the fact that this whole narrative is treating Max like the one in the wrong when it’s undoubtedly Liz. I’m also not a fan of the storyline where the female character is just constantly fawned over by every handsome guy she meets. It seems like wherever Liz is, whoever she’s working with, they’re always so in love with her, singing her praises and doing everything for her. I just dislike it because it feels very much like pandering, like the woman would never survive if there was someone who acted like, you know, a human around her as oppose to a worshipper. It wasn’t a big thing, I just had to roll my eyes quite a bit.

Kyle. That man needs a break. Thank God, they were going with what I hoped, and ended his relationship with Steph in a throwaway line. That moment he shared with Isobel was so touching, I couldn’t stand it. Huh. Scratch that, I only care about Alex, malex, forlex, the pod squad, and Kyle. That kylex moment - I can’t. Please, God, let this season have so many more kylex moments. I also love kybel, I love their relationship. More Kyle, Alex, and Isobel please.

I don’t like Maria with Gregory. I want redemption for her, but I don’t think she can get that if they have her with another Manes. Just... keep her away from the Manes men. I do not want her near the Manes men. I’m not mortified by it, per say, but I do strongly dislike it right now. It might grow on me later, depending on how she acts.

I will say though I did appreciate the, “You know, Alex is back. Are you here to invite me to the wedding?” This was what I’d hoped from her from the beginning, supporting malex getting together! So long as they don’t mention an “ex” again throughout the show, I’ll be happy. The best thing they can do at this point is pretend the tragedy of season 2 never happened.

(Side note: I’d really love it if Maria stopped taking every chance she got to insult Michael. That’d be nice. Or if they’re going to do it, let someone call her out on it. Like, it’s okay if you scold a woman or give her a genuine flaw that people acknowledge. She’s not made of glass.)

Max looked so cute, I could die. Isn’t he just gorgeous when he’s all tortured? 😂😍❤ I love him. That moment when he listened to Liz’s recording had me near tears. He’s just so tired and so frightened and I think Nathan Dean really nailed the emotion. Have I said I love him yet? I love him. 

I enjoyed the pod squad moments, I love Michael and Max’s relationship, I love seeing Isobel and Michael work together to save Max, I love the family of it, it’s so heartwarming.

Now. Malex. Y’all. Words cannot express how I felt when Michael stopped in front of that shop window to fix his hair. That is some fanfic stuff I would write, my heart jumped, I had to hide my smile I felt so bashful, like I was suddenly intruding on a private moment. And then the way Michael reacted to Maria? I love how they showed he didn’t want nor could take any comfort in her. Not in animosity towards Maria (well, maybe a little), but in the fact that you just know she could never do that for him like Alex could and he wasn’t going to pretend otherwise anymore. I thought it was a bit of a missed opportunity with malex, as they could’ve had Michael show that he wanted and needed that comfort from Alex, but hopefully they’re just waiting to have a big scene with them in 3x03, since Alex isn’t in 3x02.

Forlex. The kisses, the moment in bed, Alex’s smirk when Forrest asked him if he got in okay (😱), my heart was thrashing. And, well, I won’t pretend my heart isn’t broken that it’s already over. I freaking love forlex, I love Forrest so much, hats off to Christian Antidormi who came in and really just knocked it out of the park. I think the show was made all the better, and Alex all the happier, for having had him. I’m not angry or too upset about it though, because I’ll still be writing the forlex merman  au bonus story, I’ll still love them together, and I’ll keep Forrest in my heart forever. Also, the missed opportunities with Wyatt Long they could’ve had, really emphasizing how both Alex and Forrest are the black sheep of their families -- it would’ve been brilliant.

Not to mention, as a storyteller myself, I do think it was a little rushed the way Deep Sky was explained and then Forrest leaving, but in truth, I guess I’ve just lived with forlex over the whole hiatus, I’ve written about them so often, that I feel like I spent the past year with them so the scene is very emotionally heavy to me, and I could feel and understand Alex’s tears at seeing this one man who had allowed him so much freedom to just be leaving like that for good.

I am, however, very hopeful for malex’s friendship this season. I do think, realistically, it would be much easier for them to get closer without Forrest there, but at the same time -- again, missed opportunity. The way Alex was already being given E Clearance, like the badass he is, I got goosebumps 🤩😍

I am feeling emotional, hopeful, inspired. I want to write like crazy, which -- as anyone who’s been following me lately and read about my mental breakdown may know -- is the greatest gift anyone could give me. And it all came from Alex, Forrest, and Malex. Who’s shocked? Not me.

I genuinely can’t wait to see what happens the rest of the episodes. I am ready for the (hopefully) wonderful and heartwarming surprises. Already, this season looks promising.

[retroknightx]

hypmic headcanons

since nobody on my instagram appreciates me, i’m going to put them here, and it’ll be like a master post i can add onto that way anyway (which is convenient for me, because i keep adding on… yeah, it’s bad lmao. my notes document can only take so much) all of it will be under the line so you guys don’t just have a big ass post clogging your feed! to whoever my 4 followers are

starting with fling posse…

---

Ramuda Amemura

He’s trans.

He has a superiority complex to hide his inferiority complex.

He also likely has a little bot of a god complex… Just a tiny bit… Not to the point it’d endanger his life, but to the point he can never admit he’s wrong (I suppose this can also count as the superiority complex).

He also has a little bit of a schoolboy crush on Dice… that has lasted far longer than he’d ever like to admit – not that he’d ever admit it in the first place – and he gets jealous over Dice.

He started his whole thing with girls, whatever it is, as a power trip, which also explains why he likes to cause so much chaos.

Since he used to smoke, he started candy as a way to stop smoking and it slowly replaced his smoking habit (as I have yet to see him smoke otherwise, but keep in mind I’m not far into the manga and mostly I’m going off the ARB story).

---

Gentaro Yumeno

All writers are perfectionists (I’d know as one).

He’s probably very particular about the details and doesn’t like doing things without a plan.

He’s the lyric write for Fling Posse’s raps and does not enjoy making up lyrics on the spot; however he can if he must – This is also why he carries the book everywhere.

I honest to god don’t feel like he’s of this world and whatever his actual form is (irony in his rap name?), it scared Ramuda enough to create Fling Posse, so here they are.

---

now for the dice ones… it’s gonna be long!

---

Dice Arisugawa

He is, unfortunately, very oblivious to romantic approaches – especially from close friends such as his division members, for he’s been with them for so long that he can never imagine them falling in love with him.

He has abandonment issues/a fear of abandonment because his mother left him.

Speaking of his mother, Dice likely knows how to do “noble” things because he was raised by a politician; i.e. how to play piano and stuff like that.

Adding on top of that, I feel like Dice has an accumulation of many different skills from being all over the place ��� He learned how to do card tricks by watching others, and he probably learned bird calls from spending time with Rio.

He undoubtedly has ADHD (as a person with ADHD myself, you cannot tell me I am wrong)!

He’s well aware that’s he a leech, but he can’t stop himself because the addiction is stronger and he feels terrible about it; it’s why he often begs instead of anything else that would fit his character more.

He’s a very talkative person and often rambles to get his thoughts organized.

He doesn’t like being put into awkward situations or forced into silence because he is used the buzz of a casino and a busy city.

Relating to the ADHD canon, Dice puts his life on line not only for the thrill of it, but to keep his mind off of thoughts, and it’s also why he gambles; so he can focus on one thing.

He is numb to change because he’s a gambler.

He is very good at adapting to a new environment.

He doesn’t like being looked down up and that’s why he started gambling; to prove that he’s worth something.

He uses humor to cope if he can’t get his mind off of things with the thrill of gambling.

---

Extras (Fling Posse all together)

Dice has weird limbs, so clothing fits him weird, and Ramuda started making clothes for them because of that.

Ramuda chased after Dice after he stole his signature parka and the Fling Posse star was embroidered on later by Ramuda after the formation of Fling Posse.

Ramuda likely pulls whatever strings he has access to to make life easier for his division members (not that it stops them from getting into trouble, that is).

Gentaro spends a lot of time away when writing and likely forgets he’s even alive during those periods, so his division members make sure he’s still taking care of himself when he gets like that.

They all piss each other off, but in a platonic love kind of way.

---

moving onto matenrou! my favorite division <3

---

Jakurai Jingui

Oh, my poor man’s so tired. He just needs a long break and a spa day; speaking of this, he likely doesn’t ask for help often – it’s the messiah complex he undoubtedly has.

His hair is too long for him to be taking care of it himself, and it definitely looks in fantastic condition, so he definitely takes good care of it – I just don’t think he takes care of it himself; I think he enlists the help of his division members (as I headcanon that Matenrou is in a poly relationship).

Jakurai’s matureness can sometimes get in the way of other things, such as emotional moments, and he can come off as cold or distant when he doesn’t mean to come off that way.

Unlike the other divisions, Jakurai wanted to really separate from his past, and that’s why he named his division Matenrou instead of reusing something from the past. He also probably doesn’t like talking about the past.

His hair is naturally silver, but the lighter shades that are nearly white underneath was caused by stress.

He gets cold quickly, which is why he always keeps the lab coat on, and it’s also why he wears a turtleneck.

Jakurai does live in the same apartment as Doppo and Hifumi, but he’s always so busy that he often can’t get there, so he ends up sleeping at the hospital; he also has a separate apartment of his own that’s closer to the hospital if he has free time, but he’s not off work/off work but still on call.

---

Doppo Kannonzaka

Man, the first thing I thought when I saw him was that he has a choking kink. Enough said. He also likely has a praise kink.

If he didn’t have social anxiety and wasn’t so busy, he’d also probably be going over to Rio’s camp a lot. I think it’s because he’s so overworked that he doesn’t care about what’s in the food; as long as he gets it.

He’s probably passed out from exhaustion more than once and just got used to it.

Despite all his problems, he definitely wants to be known and he wants his name out there; he wants to be just like the other two and he definitely looks up to them already, but he aspires to be them.

He is so thankful for his divison members and he’s glad that they accepted him.

---

Hifumi Izanami

Hifumi is a classic case of “fake it till you make it”; I really don’t know how he became one of the most popular hosts in Shinjuku, but it’s definitely about the fake confidence and the jacket is a comfort object for him that allows him to have that confidence.

He cooks all the time for his division members and he uses the catches from fish all the time, too. He even brings the lunches to their works for them.

---

Extras

Since Hifumi’s always out so late, the others make sure he has everything he needs for whenever he wakes up and sometimes they wait for him.

They’re all in a poly relationship and I refuse to believe anything else; I mean, have you seen those “my room” dialouge in ARB? Fruity.

They probably all love to cuddle whenever they get the chance because they can’t do it often.

They definitely set up one day of the month for all of them to just be together.

---

buster bros time!

---

Ichiro Yamada

This may just be the Ichiro simp in me, but I think he has a very nice tummy that’d be nice to lay on; like a soft one if that makes any sense to anybody other than me.

He’s a very friendly person and if you’re close friends with him, he’s definitely loyal; he’d be willing to drop anything to help you kind of loyal, like he is to his brothers – all that, except the willing to die part.

I think he gets flustered easily and doesn’t know how to respond to compliments. That’s also probably the Ichiro simp in me.

Although he has to stop his brothers from ripping out each other’s throats all the time, he’s very proud of them and of their achievements, no matter what they are. He’s willing to praise them even for the tiniest things to make up for his absence in their lives.

He probably has a terrible sleeping schedule, but he could probably operate on pretty much anything. Two hours of sleep? That’s not an issue for him; he’s used to it.

He’s likely a cheapskate when it comes to himself, but when it comes to his brothers, he spares no expense if he can.

---

Saburo Yamada

He has a superiority complex. I mean, just look at how he acts with Jiro – that’s enough proof right there.

He got into hacking and all of that computer stuff because it was interesting to him; he’s probably pursuing a career in it, considering just how good he is at it. I feel like he’d make a good white hat hacker that tests your website security, like Alma in Va-11 Hall-A.

Call him a library, because he holds grudges for years.

I think he just likes picking arguments because he think it’s funny and there’s nothing better to do when you’re stuck with your brothers (as somebody with a sibling myself, I can attest to that).

---

Jiro Yamada

Anger issues. Yep, that’s it. That’s the headcanon.

Man probably goes dumpster diving to see what kind of treasures he can find; his room is probably full of that kind of junk.

He probably has greasy hair. It doesn’t matter how much he cleans it, it’s just greasy (as somebody with the same issue, go clean your pillows Jiro).

---

Extras

Ichiro has to hold Jiro back from just punching Saburo all the time.

God, somebody save Ichiro from his siblings; with how much they bicker, he probably has taken so much ibuprofen to stop headaches in his life that he should be considered dead from an overdose.

Despite being assholes to each other, they all help each other out – Saburo helps Jiro with his work, Jiro helps Saburo with whatever he can’t do, and Ichiro takes care of the rest. It’s the only thing keeping their bond together.

---

mad trigger crew, my beloved.

---

Rio Mason Busujima

Rio’s very stoic and that often doesn’t break, so it’s very rare to see a smile on his face. He has different smiles for different things too – there’s the business one; one so he doesn’t look as intimidating, and the actual genuine smile that’s very rare to see, but it happens when somebody appreciates his food.

Rio’s not good at understanding emotions and it takes him awhile to process emotions; he goes quiet in these moments and it can be confusing for those who don’t know him, but once he’s thought everything out, he’s very smart about responding.

He’ll never fully adjust to a life outside of the navy and military.

Opposite to Dice, he finds the buzz of a city to be too distracting for his thoughts and he enjoys his solitude, but he doesn’t mind company at all.

Due to how his unit was broken up, he refuses to abide by H law and keeps his gun on him. Even Rio can be spiteful. However, he mostly uses it for hunting, which is why he’s so far out in the forest.

He definitely has a lot of scars and that’s why he often wears his fatigues; he doesn’t wana come off as off-putting. His cards without the jacket did him so dirty. Of course he’d have scars from fighting in World War 3.

He can come up with strategies on the spot and is a very quick-thinker when it comes to combat.

Despite how ruthless he is when it comes to rap battles and being an ex-navy, he’s actually a very gentle soul.

I feel like he’s asexual, but homoromantic.

---

Samatoki Aohitsugi

He only uses the bad guy persona as a way to be left alone, but he’s actually a very kind person.

Despite being a yakuza, he actually abides to the H law and it’s probably only because of Nemu (however, this is only based off of the anime, so I can’t say for certain, but I haven’t seen anything in the manga disproving otherwise yet).

I just feel like he eats a lot throughout the day. I can’t explain this one, but he has the vibes.

He also knows how to cook quite well himself, and he does it for his division members sometimes.

---

Jyuto Iruma

He’s very cocky because he knows he can get away with things; I mean, he’s the authorties, why wouldn’t he get cocky about what he can do? However, it’s somewhat annoying to Samatoki.

If he wasn’t a gay bastard, Samtoki and Rio probably would’ve been arrested long ago. Thankfully for them, he is a gay bastard.

He likes looking good no matter what; it helps his confidence, so he dresses up to go out anywhere.

His glasses are probably just reading glasses.

He likes spending money on expensive things.

---

Extras

Samatoki and Jyuto are in a relationship. They’re so fruity that I’m sure I don’t have to explain this one.

Samatoki doesn’t approve of Rio dating Dice at all and it’s only because of Jyuto that Dice is still alive.

Rio is pretty much their marriage counselor; he has to constantly deal with them bickering, so of course he is. He’s pretty much the adopted child to save their marriage.

---

Ships

Riodice

Samajyu

Poly Matenrou

---

i will likely make a separate post for the ship headcanons because this will be much longer, but i think this covers all of them anyway, so here you go. enjoy.

[antihero-writings]

WOOHOO IT'S CHASSEUR DAY!!

This is a fic I started for this prompt on my ph and vnc blog, which I finally got around to finishing today for @phmonth2021's vnc countdown, Day 5: The Chasseurs!

Since the prompt helps explain a bit of why the story is the way it is, I'll include it here!

"But I also agree, Roland & Olivier are two characters that would be really fun to explore. What are they doing when they break out of chasseur mode? I find it amusing that Olivier is so popular with the ladies but can't be bothered by all that. Heh!"

Thank you @adriisamused so much for this prompt!! <3 <3 And once again, I'm sorry it took so long.

I'm honestly really proud of this fic, and I had such much fun with it!! I really hope you all like it!! I'd absolutely love to hear it if you do!!

Lastly, if you enjoyed this, please please don't hesitate to send me more prompts/asks--for anyone in vnc or ph, but especially for these two!! I love writing for them. You can either send them here, or to my ph and vnc blog @this-idiots-left-eye.

Thanks so much for reading!! Reblogs and comments are especially appreciated!! <3

*

Olivier was having a perfectly satisfactory morning. His coffee smelled just the right shade of black, and was scalding hot—just as he liked it. He brought a book he’d been hoping to read for a while, but hadn’t had the time for recently. He lit a cigarette, and—whatever anyone else said—the smoke was as decadent as any sweet treat from a pastry shop. He was just opening up said book, just bringing the mug to his lips when—

“OLIVER!”

Oliver didn’t jump. Didn’t shout or otherwise react in surprise at the sudden disruption to his morning. Instead, very slowly, he closed the book, very carefully he set down his coffee. He lifted the cigarette and took a long drag, blowing out a substantial wisp of smoke.

And he silently regretted (for what was probably the eightieth time) telling Roland where his favorite coffee shop was.

Roland presently was running up to him, dragging behind him a dazed looking old man, and successfully made it to him by the time he finished his drag.

“Olivier! This poor man has lost his parakeet! He’s looked everywhere and he just can’t find Monsieur Butterbeans! Code blue! Code blue!

“…You know that’s for hospitals, right?”

“Well red just didn’t seem high enough! The situation is dire!”

Olivier blinked, eyes lidded. “Go look for it.”

“Oh Olivier! This simply isn’t a two person job! Two sets of eyes isn’t going to be enough! We simply cannot scour all the skies by ourselves!”

And he was having such a good morning.

“You think I want to spend my afternoon giving myself a crick in the neck?” Olivier asked.

Roland leaned in closer. “I think you want to spend the afternoon helping one of God’s lambs who is in need.” When Olivier stared at him Roland sighed. “If you help...I might just be inclined to work extra hard tomorrow.”

Olivier leaned to the side to look at the old man, who was staring up at the sky, not seeming too bothered. “Where did you lose it?”

“He lost her at the docks!” Roland jumped in—(quite literally jumped in front of him)—and answered for him.

After taking an extra second to try to calculate why a parakeet called ‘Monsieur’ was a ‘she,’ he spoke, perfectly monotone, “So go to the docks.”

“You think we haven’t already tried that! We searched everywhere! She was nowhere to be found!”

“Well if you’ve already searched everywhere—” He began to take another sip of coffee.

“Oh come now, Olivier!” Roland took his arm and shook him, making him both spill some coffee on the table, as well as cough coffee. “What kind of Chasseurs would we be if we gave up helping one of God’s children after one measly search? We’re more determined than that!” He curled his hand into a fist, his eyes sparkling. “Remember the story of the lady and her coins?” He was practically dragging him out of his chair now.

“I don’t think Jesus was talking about parakeets.”

“It’s a parable Olivier, it can be about parakeets if it’s applicable!”

Rather than arguing with him (like he was very much inclined to do) Olivier took another drag from his cigarette and sighed out smoke. “Let me finish my coffee.”

“But Olivier, Monsieur Butterbeans could be halfway up the Seine by now!”

“Let me. Finish. My coffee.” Olivier enunciated each word, staring intently at Roland as he lifted the coffee to his lips.

Roland sighed, and sat down across from him, gesturing to the old man to sit next to him, he obeyed diligently, like he was a pet himself.

Roland folded his hands on the table, and stared at him, with big, imploring eyes, the entire time. Others would have found this more than mildly intimidating, and incentive to drink faster. But Olivier drank his coffee at an ordinary pace, if a little slower than usual. After he was finished he set it down, paid, and left.

If this day was going to be as long as he thought it would be, he wanted to experience it on a full head of caffeine.

They indeed spent all the noon, and half the afternoon searching for her. Olivier tried his best not to look up too much (due to the aforementioned neck-crick potential), but with Roland taking the opportunity every few minutes to slap them both on the shoulders, then point upwards, and shout at shadows, and oddly placed light fixtures, and decorations, “IS THAT HER?!” he couldn’t help looking up.

It was never her.

At one point he was convinced she was nesting in a lady’s hat.

That was also not her.

They had decided to go by the park, and Olivier was just asking why the old man deigned to call a female parakeet “Monsieur” and before the old man could respond, Roland shouted:

“THAT’S HER!”

Olivier, sure it was another false alarm, turned his head with an exasperated sigh building in his throat.

But there was indeed a pretty little parakeet sitting there.

This whole time they thought they would find her nestled in the rafters of some house, or perched on a shop roof, or sign. They had been hoping she wouldn’t find herself too high for them to even see (though Roland had made them climb up building staircases and onto their roofs more than twice).

But there she was, nestled comfortably, not in a tree or on a roof, but on the shoulder of a woman.

More accurately, a mime.

Monsieur Butterbeans was sitting on the shoulder of a mime, and seemed to be having a perfectly pleasant time (ignore the rhyme).

“I mean that simply must be her, right?!” Roland turned to the old man.

The old man nodded vigorously.

Roland’s whole face lit up (though his face was always lit with a sort of angelic glow, so this was a bit of a Moses-and-Mt-Sinai situation) and he was running towards her before they could say a word.

“Salut, Mademoiselle! May I say, you are looking lovely today!”—She waved her hand as if to say, ‘oh stop’—“I simply must thank you!”—She gave an over-exaggerated expression of delight—“That parakeet on your shoulder? She belongs to my friend over there!” He pointed a finger at the old man with the speed and rigidity of a compass needle. “He lost her early this morning!” Roland turned around and was about to march victoriously back, “So thank you so much for—!”

She pretended to make a lasso and swing it around Roland. Even though it was made of nothing more than air, Roland was pulled back.

Olivier put his face in his palm.

He didn’t like mimes on the best of days. They were quiet, which would potentially be a nice quality... if it weren’t for that quietness being, not a means for peace, but rather something to make their interactions with normal-human-beings all that much more frustrating and difficult to discern. And their games with empty air seemed but another reason to disrupt the days of normal natural-world abiding people. They were like vampires…except they couldn’t actually see anything beyond this world, and couldn’t actually alter anything, and they were much more annoying to deal with.

And this one was proving, (as mimes generally did), unable to let them get away without participating in her little farce.

He had a theory that mimes weren’t really there to entertain normal people, rather normal people were there to entertain mimes.

“What is it? Is something wrong?” Roland asked.

She held her hand up, and bent her fingers a few times as if to say she would like payment.

“You want a reward?” Roland seemed more than slightly affronted at this. The thought that anyone wouldn’t do a good deed out of the goodness of their heart was nothing short of diabolical to him.

The mimette made several hand motions which, while confusing at first seemed to be her way of conveying that she wasn’t asking for much (Olivier thought that would remain to be seen).

She pondered for a moment with a hand to her chin and squnched up face. Her eyes grazed over the old man, (who had his hands clasped in front of him in a pleading motion), and Olivier (who had folded his arms over his chest, and decided to look away when she looked at him). When he looked back, she was pointing at him.

She pointed at him, then she tapped her finger to her cheek.

Olivier didn’t need an interpreter to understand what that meant.

He recoiled, his voice going low and tense, “I would…prefer another method.”

It’s not like he didn’t know how to kiss a woman, (he’d done a lot more than kiss more than one woman), but this was just—

“Oh it’s just one little kiss, Olivier!” Roland waved his hand. “Do it for Monsieur Butterbeans!” (Monsieur Butterbeans decided to take this opportunity to do the important job of pooping on her shoulder).

Well someone ought to do it.

The mime did the lasso trick again, this time with Olivier. Olivier decidedly did not play along, but she was clearly well-versed in the ways of unparticipatory students, and happy to use the invisible rope to pull herself towards him. (Roland looked delighted with the show).

She got uncomfortably close, put her hands behind her back and presented her cheek.

Olivier looked away, his arms still folded.

Roland still found a way to get in his line of sight, and gave him the thumbs up.

The mimette stood on her tiptoes and blinked her eyelashes repeatedly. She might have been pretty, but who could tell under all that disgusting makeup? ( …Which Olivier did not want on his lips).

“This is ridiculous.” He grunted. “There are other ways to—”

“It’s just one little kiss Olivier!" Roland repeated. "She seems a perfectly nice lady! She deserves it!”

Olivier was not going to humiliate himself for a parakeet, who seemed to rather like this mime anyways.

“Remember, I might just be inclined to work harder tomorrow!”

Olivier sighed, still not looking at her.

“Fine, if you can’t do it, I’ll kiss her!” Roland stepped forward.

“No, no, I’ll do it!” Olivier pinched the bridge of his nose. ”She clearly likes me.” Olivier peeked open an eye to see the mime blinking more profusely, apparently not the least bit offended at his obvious disinterest. (Only more evidence for the normal-people-are-entertainment-fodder-for-the-mimes theory)

“Are you sure? Because you don’t seem like you’re going to do it. It’s really fine if you want me to!”

Olivier took a rather long moment to gather himself, and all the dignity that he knew he was about to lose. He kept his eyes firmly shut…and gave her a peck on the cheek.

…Except, when Olivier opened his eyes, he came to find—(to his absolute horror)—that in the moment he had taken to muster his courage, Roland had decided that Olivier wasn’t going to do it, and went in to kiss her other cheek. The mime recognized this in perfect time, (and in perfect mime fashion), stepped out of the way. So the person who he had kissed was actually….

Olivier jerked away with what almost sounded like a horrified squeak, his hand flying to his mouth. He then turned sharply away, sticking out his tongue, and hacking like a cat who had a hairball.

Roland simply blinked, then began to laugh mirthfully, like he didn’t find the situation the least bit awkward. “Well played, Mademoiselle!” He applauded her.

The mime bowed with a flourish of her hand, and as she lowered herself Monsieur Butterbeans flew off her shoulder and into the hand of her owner, who he then brought up to his own cheek to nuzzle gratefully

“Olivier, your mouth tastes like an ashtray.” Roland remarked as they began to leave—waving his hand and sending an extra thank you towards the mime. “I really hope you don’t smoke before you kiss women. It doesn’t make me want to kiss you again you know.” Roland put his hand on his shoulder.

Olivier flinched violently, snapped equally violently, “Don’t touch me!” and said low, “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost I dearly hope it doesn’t.”

Roland just laughed.

“If you even think about mentioning this to anyone—” his glared at him, hoping his eyes were as sharp as he intended them to be.

“I really don’t know what the big fuss is about! It was just a silly prank! And a rather clever one on her part!”

Olivier stuck his tongue out again, feeling like he was going to vomit. “It was a disgusting prank.”

“Keep talking like that and I’ll feel insulted! I hope my mouth didn’t taste half as bad as yours did.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “Your mouth didn’t taste like anything, because that didn’t happen and we are never talking about it!”

“Well, nothing to complain about is good news I guess!”

“Stop. Talking. About it.”

They had been walking a good way, and the sun was setting over the city, when the old man stopped in front of them, holding Monsieur Butterbeans in front of him, looking down at her lovingly.

“Thank you for helping me find my dear Monsieur Butterbeans,” the old man spoke. (Olivier tried not to shout in surprise at the reveal that he could actually talk). “The Church really does help those in need, doesn’t it? You’re good boys.”—(Olivier would have preferred ‘men’ but)—“I would like to repay you somehow.”

“Oh no, we simply couldn’t accept!” Roland burst out, stepping forward. “A good deed is its own reward! ‘Anything you do for the least of these’ and all! Although, you’re not the least of course! It’s just a verse you know! Well no verse is just a verse, but—”

“I feel I must do something for your…trouble.” (Olivier curled his nose at the slight snicker there was behind the word ‘trouble.’) “At the very least, I have some rather nice vintage wines in my cellar—“

Before Roland could say once again that that-really-wasn’t-necessary, Olivier shot his hand in front of him and said, a little too loudly, “We will gladly accept.”

******

The next day Olivier was leaning back in his chair in front of a rather large stack of paperwork, massaging the crick in his neck when Roland burst in, a little girl hiding behind him.

“OLIVIER!” He panted. “Olivier, this poor girl has lost her favorite doll! We simply must help her!”

Olivier shut his eyes, rubbing his temple, his voice shaking. “You told me you would work harder if I—”

“I will! I will! But this is urgent!”

Olivier sighed. “Astolfo!” He yelled.

After a few moments, a boy with red hair came in.

“You sent for me?”

“Roland has a job for you...(however ridiculous it may be)," he added under his breath. "Will you help find this girl’s doll?” Olivier marched forward, his footsteps ominous on the stone floor, and grabbed Roland’s wrist a little too tight, dragging him into a chair, “Roland here has work to do.”

As Astolfo obliged, Olivier muttered, more to Roland than anyone else, “And he’s not getting out of it this time.”

Roland pouted, plopping down in the chair to properly do his Chasseur work.

...And Olivier couldn’t help but feel like he was having a perfectly satisfactory morning once again.

*

<-Day 6: The Royals

Day 4: Chloé and/or Jean-Jacques->

[lumoshyperion]

Your thoughts on the Cursed Child giving us pure good Slytherins like Scorpius, Albus and Craig? I'm not a Slytherin myself but it's always good to see Hogwarts houses more nuance than a house being purely good or purely evil.

It's one of my favourite things about Cursed Child, honestly? It dismantles a lot of the preconceived notions about Slytherin, and it critiques Harry and his friend’s opinions on them. It takes that scene at the end of the books ("What if I am put in Slytherin?") and expands upon it.

I've already answered a question about Craig, so I'll mostly talk about Albus and Scorpius and their relationship with their house. It's interesting seeing or hearing how each actor responds in the sorting scene. Scorpius varies from annoyed, but not surprised - to happy and relieved, in Nyx's case. But Albus is always shocked. Sean changed her reaction up every time I saw her. Sometimes they were smiling. Still riding on the high of that conversation in the train carriage to Hogwarts - which made the look in their eyes at the sorting hat's decision all the more heartbreaking. And sometimes she was already terrified. Wringing her hands, her eyes darting through the audience as the hat stalls over Albus' house. And then it happens, and they go completely still with shock.

There's a lot of stock put into characters choosing their houses, but I don't think Albus or Scorpius had a choice. Albus didn't ask for Slytherin and, even if he did, how do we know that the hat would have put him there just because he asked and not because it's where he belonged? I think a lot of people used to misinterpret the traits of a Slytherin as purely bad or black and white. Ambition? Cunning? Doing anything to get what they want? Surely these aren't the traits of a good person. Surely no one that has the ability to be kind or selfless would be sorted into Slytherin.

But one of the major bullies of Scorpius and Albus is Polly Chapman, and she's in Gryffindor. Rose, also in Gryffindor, claims that she used to be best friends with Albus, but it's clear from their conversations that she doesn't talk to him anymore and that he doesn't trust her anymore. Even his older brother is a model Gryffindor student, and yet he teases Albus constantly. Something we forget is that these are all teenagers. Scorpius, Albus, and Rose are characters we first meet when they're eleven years old, and their arcs in the play end when they're fourteen. We're all still developing our sense of self at these ages. None of us knew who we were or what we wanted. We acted based on impulse and on years of influence from our parents, our family, our friends - anyone older than us who we believed must have known better.

There's something inherently flawed about putting eleven year old’s into houses that whittle them down to the most basic of traits. Because it's not as simple as that? Hermione could have been a Ravenclaw - she's got the brains for it, and the thirst for learning. But she could have been a Slytherin, too - isn't her ambition one of the first pieces of dialogue about her in the play? Craig could be a Hufflepuff. He's kind and loyal, he's quiet and shy. We see very little ambition from him in the play, although we do know that he's prefect and that he's clever enough to be able to do the Scorpion King's homework as well as his own. I think Craig is a perfect example of houses not defining a student's entire personality. He's the perfect example of how much more complex and nuanced these kids are, beyond what their houses say about them.

With Scorpius and Albus, we have a clearer idea of why they were sorted into Slytherin. We see how well Scorpius does in the other reality, concealing his true feelings and moving from each scene with such clear goals in mind and without ever faltering in his search for answers. There's something he says in the Forbidden Forest to Snape that I think sums my answer up really well - "The world changes and we change with it. I am better off in this world." Because, like it or not, he is popular in this world. He is well liked and respected in this world. He sees that and a part of him enjoys that - he and Albus even discuss it later on in the dormitory, and Scorpius reveals how much braver and stronger he feels for his experiences. But, as he goes on to say, "the world is not better. And I don't want that."

It's about the fact that, while he does enjoy being popular and respected, none of that matters because he still sees how cruel and jaded the Scorpion King is. He sees Craig cowering at the sight of him in the library and he hates it. Of course he fixes the world because he knows it can't go on like this. But he also fixes it because he looks right through the power and strength of his alternate self, and he sees a selfishness and cruelty that he cannot accept. When Sean's Albus would laugh and bring up Polly Chapman fancying Scorpius, Nyx would give the most unimpressed shrug. And then their voice would lower and their expression would darken, as they explained just how awful the Scorpion King was. How none of that popularity or respect mattered, because it concealed an evil that Scorpius hated to have found existed in himself, even in another reality.

And continuing with the theme of that scene in the dormitory, we also hear Albus dismantling his own actions that he's made up until that point. He worries that he only wanted to save Cedric to prove himself. He only put their lives on the line because he wanted to show the world that he isn’t just Harry Potter’s son. That he isn’t just a Slytherin in a family of Gryffindors - that he can be brave and heroic, too. But there are different kinds of bravery. And Albus could have done anything he wanted to remove himself from the shadow of his dad. He’s a clever kid. He’s cunning and resourceful - he’s more of a Slytherin than even Scorpius, who comes from a family of Slytherins. But instead, he overhears a grieving father begging Harry to give him his son back, and he decides to do something about it. He decides to put himself at risk, running away from school and changing time itself to save the life of a complete stranger. Because he sees the love Amos has for Cedric - the kind of love he doesn’t feel from his own dad - and instead of feeling jealous or angry, he... wants to help. He wants to do what his dad cannot and bring an old man his son back. That’s kind. That’s heroic. 

“When Amos Diggory asked for the Time-Turner my father denied they even existed. He lied to an old man who just wanted his son back - who just loved his son. And he did it because he didn’t care... because he doesn’t care. Everyone talks about all the brave things Dad did. But he made some mistakes too. Some big mistakes, in fact. I want to set one of those mistakes right. I want us to save Cedric.” - Albus, Act One Scene Three.

“I know what it is to be the spare. Your son didn’t deserve to be killed, Mr Diggory. We can help you get him back.” - Albus, Act One Scene Fourteen.

"Cedric? Your dad loves you.” “What?” “Your dad loves you. Very much. I just thought you should know that.” - Albus and Cedric, Act Three Scene Twenty. 

In the final scene, Albus talks about how he wanted Delphi killed for what she did, and he says that maybe this is his “Slytherin side”. Maybe this is what the sorting hat saw in him. Because even after everything, even after all that he experienced and all that he’s seen in both Scorpius and Craig and the other Slytherin students, he’s still held down by the misconceptions about Slytherin. And that’s so unfair? It’s unfair that children have been made to feel like this. Albus is empathetic. Scorpius is kind. Craig is loyal. But they’re put into a box that none of them asked for and that is so hard to wrap your head around at that age. Because you don’t know what you did wrong, but you do know that it must have been something because suddenly everyone treats you differently. So you try to explain it to yourself. You think of everything you’ve ever said or done in a different light. And you wonder if maybe, just maybe, you are what they say you are. And you start to doubt every part of you that’s good or kind or compassionate. And it’s something that Albus struggles with the most in the play. And I’m going to close this ask with some quotes from Draco to Harry, because I think I’ve gone on for too long and because what he said is very relevant. 

“You can’t talk to Albus. I can’t talk to Scorpius. That’s what this is about. Not about my son being evil. Because as much as you might take the word of a haughty centaur, you know the power of friendship.”

“My father thought he was protecting me. Most of the time. People say parenting is the hardest job in the world - they’re wrong - growing up is. We all just forget how hard it was. I think you have to make a choice - at a certain point - of the man you want to be. And I tell you at that time you need a parent or a friend. And if you’ve learnt to hate your parent by then and you have no friends... then you’re all alone. And being alone - that’s so hard.”

“Maybe the black cloud Bane saw was Albus’s loneliness. His pain. His hatred. Don’t lose the boy. You’ll regret it. And so will he. Because he needs you and Scorpius.”

ask me questions about year two, year three, and other things!

[musecharm-writes]

Bad Influence, Pt 3 (Steve Harrington X Reader)

Summary: A couple of days after your first day at Melvald’s, you tell Joyce about something that’s been bothering you; Steve gets help with his crush from a couple of friends.

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

Over the days following your first shift, things get much easier. You’ve almost totally forgotten the exchange with Harrington and his friend. You might be able to completely, if it weren’t for their extremely obvious attempts to spy on you.

You think they’re under the impression that they’re being very sneaky, which means they probably don’t know that you’ve already caught on, but it also makes you feel a little sad that this is the best they can do.

You elect to do your best to ignore it; a nosy jerk and his little pal aren’t gonna get to you, not when things are finally starting to go your way.

“You’re cleaning that counter a little forcefully, there,” Joyce observes, carrying a box past you. When she emerges from storage, she asks, “Something on your mind?”

You consider the question. You stop scrubbing the counter like it’s done something to offend you and lean against it, the rag still under your hand. “Nothing. Just thinking about the meeting with Chief Hopper.”

Joyce walks over to a nearby shelf with an inventory checklist on a clipboard. “Uh huh. Okay. So what’s really bothering you?”

You purse your lips. Putting the rag and lemon scented Pledge you were using to clean under the counter, you follow Joyce over to the shelves, shoving your hands in your pockets.

“Steve Harrington’s friend and some kid have been following me,” you confess softly. “Every time I’ve left to go home for the past three days, I’ve caught them trying to spy on me. They’re probably gonna do it again today.”

Joyce looks genuinely concerned. “Steve’s friend? Who, what’s their name?”

You shrug. “Some girl. She was in here with him the other day, I think he called her Bucky?”

Joyce’s eyebrows shoot up toward her hairline. “ Buckley ? Robin Buckley?” She gestures with one hand to indicate a height of about five and a half feet. “This tall? Short brown hair?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s her.”

Joyce has a look of growing suspicion and confusion on her face. She lowers her clipboard to put one hand on her hip. “What did the kid look like?”

You frown as you try to remember. “Uh… a little shorter than that Robin girl, with curly hair, I think. At least, from what I could tell; he was wearing a hat.”

Joyce nods slowly. “...I think I know who we’re dealing with.” She looks you directly in the eye, and says, “Do you want me to tell them to leave you alone?”

You think about saying yes, just for a second. Then, you shake your head. “I’ll tell them to stop if it really starts to bother me. They haven’t realised it yet, but they suck at spying.”

Joyce laughs. “Okay, but if you change your mind, lemme know, and I’ll rough ‘em up for ya.” She smiles playfully, and you can’t help but laugh at the image of Joyce Byers fighting two children for bothering you.

“...Thank you, Joyce,” you say softly.

She gives you an odd look. “For what?”

“For… I dunno. For not being too hard on me, even though you were the one who caught me… doing what I did.”

She sighs, looking around to double check you’re still the only two in the store. “I won’t get into it too much since we’re still working right now, but… I used to be a bit of a wild child myself. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Plus,” she gives you a little nudge with her elbow, “Hop likes you. That counts for something in my book.”

You smile at her. “I guess it does.”

--

“You WHAT?”

Dustin and Robin look pleased with themselves, despite the fact that Steve is filled with a murderous rage.

“We’ve been following your crush to make sure the two of you would be compatible,” Dustin repeats. “To be honest, I don’t think you’re cool enough to land this one, but Robin seems to think you have a chance, so I’m gonna go with it.”

Steve points a finger angrily, about to defend himself and his infinite coolness, and then closes his mouth and folds his arms. “I don’t have to signify that with a response.”

Robin chimes in with, “I think you mean ‘dignify,’ genius,” which really doesn’t help their case with the whole ‘Steve-is-incredibly-angry-at-them’ thing.

He throws his hands up, frustrated. “Whatever, who cares! Why have you been following a person who I have zero chance of ever being in a relationship with to find out if we could date? That’s weird! And probably invasive, I think! Which means it’s also creepy!” He stalls out as he realises the possibility that you may have noticed his dunderhead friends creeping on you. “You haven’t been noticed, right?”

Dustin blows a disbelieving raspberry. “Psh! Please, you’re kidding, right? I think if we were able to successfully spy on a bunch of Russian soldiers without getting caught, we can do this, no problem.”

Robin smiles triumphantly. “Yeah, Harrington. Have a little more faith in our abilities.”

Steve shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. He prays that they’re telling the truth; otherwise, he senses some major embarrassment in his future.

Steve sighs, resigned. “Fine. Fine . I’ll let you two keep playing secret agent on my behalf. But if you get caught, lie your asses off about what you were doing, okay?”

They both promise not to put Steve in any more hot water with you than he already is, but it doesn’t fully lay his fears to rest.

“Oh, hey! You should come with us this time! We can fill you in on everything we’ve learned so far, and then you can watch the wild crush in its natural habitat,” Dustin says.

Steve frowns. “I dunno… Sounds like a bad idea.”

“No, I think it’ll be good. That way, if we do get caught, we can say it was all your idea,” Robin jokes. (Or at least, Steve hopes she’s joking.)

Which is how they all end up hiding behind Steve’s car, across the street from Melvald’s, waiting for your shift to end.

When the time finally comes and you’re walking out the door, they have to communicate via hurried whispers in order to coordinate their movements. Steve thanks their lucky stars that you’d walked to work that day.

They follow you down the street away from downtown. In the moments when it seems you’re about to turn around and catch them or you’re waiting to cross the street, they duck into alleys or alcoves, dive behind cars, or hide behind other people. Steve hates to admit it, even only to himself, but he sort of enjoys the exhilaration of sneaking around. He’d forgotten how much he enjoys it.

At the corner of 12th and Oak, after hiding behind a parked car, Dustin hisses, “Shit.”

Steve immediately snaps to attention. “Shit? What do you mean, shit? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know where--”

“Hey.”

Robin, Steve, and Dustin all yell in surprise, whirling around to find you standing behind them. You have your hands in your pockets, a rucksack over one shoulder, and a bland expression.

“...Hi,” Dustin says awkwardly. He looks around for a moment, apparently noticing for the first time the ramifications of his and Robin’s actions. “Uh, we can explain--”

You hold up a hand. “Don’t bother,” you point at Steve. “You had them,” you point at Robin and Dustin, “follow me, for who knows why and honestly who fucking cares. Please stop. You’re not great at stalking people.”

Ouch. Okay. Well, there’s a hard truth.

“Sorry,” Dustin says, looking genuinely dejected. Steve isn’t sure whether it’s because he upset you or because you said he’s bad at spying.

Your face twitches, like you’re trying to maintain your vaguely stern expression, and then it crumbles, and you sigh. “It’s okay. I’m not really that mad about it since you guys aren’t really bugging me that much, but just…” You run a hand through your hair. “Look, please stop following me around, okay? It’s weird, and a little creepy. I don’t know why you were doing it, nor do I want to know, nor do I really care. I’m just kind of over the weird shit.”

Robin and Dustin share a look before nodding, and Steve says, “Don’t look at me, I got roped into this at the last minute.”

You look confused, but you nod back. “Okay. Cool. Bye, then.”

You go around them and start to walk away, but before you can make it to the crosswalk, Dustin calls out, “WAIT!”

You turn to look back, one eyebrow raised in a silent question.

Dustin says the last thing Steve wanted to hear him say. “Can Steve get your number?”

Steve’s entire face feels like it’s gonna melt off. He’s absolutely going to run away and change his name; this is just too goddamn embarrassing.

Then, you do something that shocks Steve to his core: you laugh. It’s a full, rich laugh, and it makes his heart pound so hard he thinks for a second he might be having a heart attack -- but, like, for real.

And then , you say, “Damn, kid, you have a lot of guts. Sure,” you swing your bag off your shoulder and root around in one of the pockets before emerging with a pen and a small notebook. You scribble your name and number down before ripping the page off and handing it not to Dustin, but to Steve, who feels like he might combust.

“I get home at one o’clock every day for the next two weeks,” you say, with a crooked smile. “Call me any time after that.”

Steve nods, dumbfounded, and you turn on your heel and saunter away.

“Holy shit,” Robin says, laughing, as soon as you’re out of earshot. “I cannot believe that that somehow worked in your favour. You are either the luckiest guy in the world or more pathetic than I originally thought.”

Steve pays her no mind. Instead, he’s desperately trying to remember if there are any rules about when to call once you get the phone number. Do you wait a day, or call that night? Or maybe you wait longer than a day? Or do you wait for them to call you? Wait, shit, he didn’t give you his number. 

Why didn’t he give you his number?

“Steve, I can practically hear you panicking. Calm down, it’ll be fine,” Dustin says.

Steve’s head whips around. He stares at Robin and Dustin, considering his options, and then realising that his only other options are Nancy and Jonathan.

“I need you guys to help me land a date,” Steve says.

--

You spend a couple of hours at home doing nothing in particular. You read a couple pages of a book you pull at random off the shelf, but you can’t concentrate on it, so you turn on the TV and start channel surfing.

All the while, you’re also trying to pretend you aren’t waiting for the phone to ring.

You gave Steve Harrington your number. If you’re being honest, you think you may be  panicking a little, but you don’t really mind the idea of him calling you so much as you mind the fear that this is some kind of joke.

A part of you is very, very afraid that it’s a joke.

You sigh, putting the remote down and stretching out on the couch. You gave him your number; all there is to do now is wait for him to do the rest. No use stressing over it since it’s out of your hands.

At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself. As the hours tick by -- as you make yourself dinner and put some in the fridge for your mom, as you watch a movie with your feet up on the coffee table and a bowl of ice cream in your lap -- you start to lose hope that Harrington ever planned on calling you at all.

Then the phone rings, and you almost drop your ice cream jumping up to get it.

“Hello?” You say casually, proud of the fact that you don’t sound out of breath from running to the phone.

On the other side, Steve Harrington says your name.

“Y-Yeah,” you say, and then clear your throat. “That’s me!”

“Cool, cool,” he says. “So, hey, uh… I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?”

You chuckle. “Wow. That’s a little forward of you, isn’t it?” You’re thankful that he can’t see you blush through the phone.

“Oh. Is--Is that bad?”

You smile, a little charmed despite yourself. “Nah. I’ll give you brownie points for it, if you want.”

“Oh! Sure. I, uh, I love… brownies,” he finishes on a bit of a low note, so you decide to throw him a line.

“You wanted to hang out, Steve?”

“Y...Yeah. Yeah. Uh, if you want. I just… Wanted to give us the chance to get to know each other. Like, under the right circumstances, y’know?”

You hesitate for a moment. You have a feeling that he’s got more in mind than the arcade; after a bit of thought, you admit to yourself that you’re at least curious about where this goes.

“Sure,” you reply. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’ll meet you at your place at… seven on Friday night? If that’s cool with you, obviously. No pressure, y’know.” He sounds a little nervous, and you can’t help but feel for him a little. Poor guy’s clearly out of his depth.

“Yeah, Steve. That sounds great. I’ll see you then.”

It’s not until after you’ve given him your address and hung up that it hits you: you might, potentially, have a date with Steve Harrington.

Steve Harrington, who saw you get arrested.

Great.

[kyasarinkishinuma]

So you know how Caesar used to be this thug on the streets who use hamon? So what about one day Caesar is roaming around and he sees this girl fighting by using hamon and she just beats the absolute shit out of her opponent, Caesar sees himself in her and like tries to convince lisa lisa to like take her in or something??

This prompt is really great! Thank you for requesting this, I love the idea (as well as Caesar, he's my favourite 'side character'). I hope you'll enjoy!

Also, I changed your scenario up a bit to make it more interesting (in my opinion). I hope you don't mind!

Caesar x Reader: Rebels

Life on Lisa Lisa's island was lonely.

Caesar was the only young Hamon trainee at the time, making it fairly difficult for him to interact with anyone in his age group. Not that he minded so much, though. When he wasn't flirting with cute girls in Venice's restaurants, he preferred to be alone, meditating in his room to practice his Hamon breathing. Very few dared disturb him.

He didn't dislike it, though. Caesar had been a loner ever since his father had left his siblings and he. Sure, he had a small gang in his thug days, but those following him mostly did out of admiration. Caesar had been a powerful, feared man of the streets. He barely ever lost to anyone.

His pride wouldn't allow him to be humiliated in such a way.

But those days were over, and far from glorious. He'd never go back, now that he had taken up his bloodline's quest for the Stone Mask.

It was a past that was so far, yet so close.

And it hit him in the face, one day, when he returned to his home city, Naples.

Caesar pulled his hat over his face as he quickened his pace in his former neighbourhood. He didn't want to risk getting recognized. Yes, he had changed a lot, but he had quite a number of followers in his thug days. And most importantly, he didn't want to drive his family out of the safety of their ignorance and into his perilous quest.

Once he reached a busier street, farther off, he gave off a long breath and leaned up against a wall to calm down. It was all right. This wasn't his home anymore. No one had recognized him. He had to carry out Lisa Lisa's orders.

After having collected himself, the Italian man stood back up, going on with his business as he merged into the bustling crowd.

Until some distant screams caught his attention.

He'd recognize that kind of scream anywhere.

Try as he might, he was unable to contain his curiosity. He slipped away toward the dark alleys from which the furious yells had sounded.

He felt his heart pounding as he got closer and closer to what he knew was a street fight. He really shouldn't get involved, but he just had to see.

And when he did, hidden behind a wall, his eyes popped right out of his head.

There was a street fight, all right. But he knew one of the fighters all too well.

It was one lady against three burly men.

And yet, the males were the ones yelling.

From what Caesar had seen, the girl was really pissing them off.

"You damn woman!" The leader of the trio seethed, a vein popping out from his neck. "You're fucking crazy!"

"Just give me back what you stole and we can put this behind us," calmly spoke the woman, arms crossed over her chest. Caesar gulped. He hadn't heard that voice in ages.

The men chuckled darkly, starting to close in on their target. "You don't know what's good for you, woman. You asked for it!"

They pounced.

She jumped.

As a result, the men's heads smashed together, making them wail as they stumbled back and cursed.

"What the--- Fuck!" The woman's first victim gave out a scream as he was gracefully punched in the jaw, sending him stumbling into a rock wall. Caesar stared on with wide eyes. For her size, the lady was incredibly strong.

Growling, another man went for the lone fighter, wrapping his chunky arms around her neck from behind to choke her. Helpless against his massive form, her face rapidly turned to a cherry-like colour, although she took a deep breath.

And then, she leaned forward, somehow flipping the man over her head to make him smash onto the ground.

As he howled and writhed in pain on the alley street, she calmly came up to him and kicked him in the face with her boot, knocking him out.

Caesar couldn't believe what he was seeing. This lady was single-handedly whooping these bulky thugs' asses. He would've intervened if it had been necessary, but it looked like he'd only be a witness today.

The woman turned back toward her ultimate opponent, the trio's leader. His face was growing redder and redder by the second. He was downright furious.

"You'll pay for that, you fucking broad..." He growled lowly under his breath, hands balling into fists.

A smirk tugged at her lips. "If you want a piece of this, come get it."

That was it. That was the final straw.

The burly man charged at the last fighter with a blood-curdling scream.

The lady stood, unfazed.

She was brutally bowled over by the oversized thug's strength, falling to the ground beneath his suffocating weight.

And yet, next thing the man knew, he was flying through the air. His face smashed into the alley wall, and he crumbled to the ground with a quiet groan before he passed out.

This time, Caesar had spotted the lady's little secret.

Her legs had been shining slightly when she kicked the brute off of her. And her breathing confirmed his suspicions.

She was using Hamon.

He had seen enough. Caesar emerged from behind his wall, clearing his throat gently as to alert the woman of his presence as he approached.

When she turned to face him, ready in a fighting stance, he couldn't help but smile fondly.

You, (Y/N), had not changed.

It didn't take long for you to understand what was going on. "...Caesar?" You whispered his name weakly, staring as you struggled to believe what you were seeing. "Is that really you?"

"(Y/N), bella, you haven't changed." He came up to stand in front of you, his height forced you to tilt your head up at him, as it always had. Grinning, "But it looks like you've got some new tricks up your sleeve."

You returned the grin. "Oh, Caesar, it's really you!" You threw yourself against him for a hug, giggling as joy washed over you. "It has been so long! I've missed you. How have you been?"

"I've been well," answered your old friend, gently returning the hug. "I've left the streets to start a better life. How about you?"

You pulled back, handing him a weak smile. "Me? I'm still here, I'm just same old (Y/N). It's been a bit rough on the streets, but I'm all right..." Your voice trailed off as you noticed how intensely your former gang leader was staring at you. "Hey, Caesar, don't look at me like that. It's weird."

"O-Oh," gasped Caesar, blushing slightly as he realized what he had been doing. "Sorry, (Y/N). It's just..." He gave you a serious look. "How long have you been fighting like I did?"

"Oh, you mean how long I've had this?" You held your fist up as it sparked slightly. The sight made you grin widely in pride. "Ever since you left. I had noticed how you breathed when you fought, so I tried it myself!"

"Ahh, I see..." Seeing you so proud made Caesar smile, yet worry. Hamon was a useful but dangerous ability to have, and you didn't know that. Neither one of you heard about Hamon in the streets...

"Hey, Caesar! Hellooooo? Earth to Caesar?" Said Italian man jolted out of his thoughts as he blinked, noticing the hand you had been waving in front of his face. You were observing him, arms crossed as you pouted at him. "There you are! You know, it's rude not to listen when someone is talking to you!"

Caesar chuckled at that, focusing his bright eyes back on you. His smile was back. "I know, I know. My apologies, (Y/N). But, I must tell you something..."

His seriousness caught your attention. And so he guided you out of the dark alley to someplace safer and nicer, in a local park full of flowers.

And he told you everyone he knew about Hamon.

He left out the part about the Stone Mask. He didn't want to make you panick if it wasn't necessary.

However, he did want you to leave the streets to come and train with him.

"If you come, you will master this ability," explained your friend, gazing at you pleadingly. "(Y/N), please. I want you to come with me. Come and start a new, better life."

You gave a long sigh as you struggled to process all of this new information. So Caesar and you weren't the only ones who wielded this power? It was a power that had been carried down from generation to generations by Hamon masters...

But he was asking you to leave Naples, the only home you knew. You had never been beyond this city, you knew nothing else of this world. Could you really just leave with him?

He was your best friend, yes, but... This was where you belonged.

You nodded solemnly after a moment, looking at your friend sadly. "I'm sorry Caesar, but... I can't come with you."

*****

Caesar could no longer live with his past. Not when he knew you were out there, living in dark, rat-infested alleys. Not when he knew you could be here, training with him.

He needed his friend by his side. Especially when Joseph Joestar arrived, dooming them both to fight the Pillar Men.

Caesar needed you to lean on.

He pleaded Lisa Lisa to take you in. He promised he'd work harder, he promised he'd protect the Red Stone with his life.

But Lisa Lisa would only ever shake her head.

"Caesar, we cannot force her to come here. You must understand."

He knew that. But he didn't want to accept it.

He wanted to see his best friend's face, one more time.

But he never got the chance.

*****

A bouquet of flowers. That was all that was left of Caesar, brought to you by Joseph Joestar.

Your world crumbled around you at the tragic news. And suddenly, you oh so regretted not agreeing to his offer, back when he had seen you a few years ago. What if you could've saved him? What if you could've died in his place?

You grew miserable. You grew depressed.

Naples no longer felt like home, now that Caesar's memories no longer breathed into it.

No, Caesar's memory was now elsewhere, you understood.

It was in the sparks your Hamon produced.

And you'd keep his memory alive, you decided.

Even if it meant starting all over like he had.

[END]

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JULY 21

‘Tis the season to beat the heat at the always-cold theatres and next to fans set at turbo speed. While my movie watching slowed a bit with the launch of the Summer Olympics on July 23rd, I’ve still got plenty of popcorn-ready and artsy recommendations for you. A few themes in the new-to-me pop culture I’m recommending this month:

Casts oozing with embarrassing levels of talent (sometimes overqualified for the movies they’re in)

Pop culture that is responding or reinterpreting past pop culture

Stories that get weEeEeird

Keep on-a-scrollin’ to see which is which!

July Crowd-Pleasers

1. Double Feature – ‘90s Rom-Coms feat. Lots of Lies: Mystery Date (1991) + The Pallbearer (1996)

In Mystery Date (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Ethan Hawke and Teri Polo get set up on a blind date that gets so bizarre and crime-y I’m not sure how this didn’t come out in the ‘80s. In The Pallbearer (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), David Schwimmer and Gwyneth Paltrow try to combine The Graduate with Four Weddings and a Funeral in a story about lost twentysomethings. If you don’t like rom-coms in which circumstances depend on lots of lies and misunderstandings, these won’t be your jam, but if you’re like me and don’t mind these somewhat-cliché devices, you’ll be hooked by likeable casts and plenty of rom and com.

2. The Tomorrow War (2021)

I thought of no fewer movies than this list while watching: Alien, Aliens, Angel Has Fallen, Cloverfield, Interstellar, Kong: Skull Island, Prometheus, A Quiet Place: Part II, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith, The Silence of the Lambs, The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and World War Z. And you know what? I like all those movies! (Okay, maybe I just have a healthy respect/fear of The Silence of the Lambs.) The Tomorrow War may not be original, but it borrows some of the best tropes and beats from the sci-fi and action genres, so much so I wish I could’ve seen Chris Pratt and Co. fight those gross monsters on a big screen. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6/10

3. Dream a Little Dream (1989)

My July pick for the Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! I CANNOT explain the mechanics of this body switch comedy to you—nor can the back of the DVD case above—but, boy, what an ‘80s MOOD. I did not know I needed to see a choreographed dance routine starring Jason Robards and Corey Feldman, but I DID. All I know is some movies are made for me and that I’m now a card-carrying member of the Two Coreys fan club. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

4. Black Widow (2021)

The braids! The Pugh! Black Widow worked for me both as an exciting action adventure and as a respite from the Marvel adventures dependent on a long memory of the franchise. (Well, mostly—keep reading for a second MCU rec much more dependent on the gobs of previous releases.) Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

5. Liar Liar (1997)

Guys, Jim Carrey is hilarious. That’s it—that’s the review. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. Sob Rock by John Mayer (2021)

It’s very possible I’ve already listened to this record more than all other John Mayer records. It doesn’t surpass the capital-G Greatness of Continuum, but it’s a little bit of old school Mayer, a little bit ‘80s soft rock/pop, and I’ve had it on repeat most of the two weeks since it’s been out. Featuring the boppiest bop that ever bopped, at least one lyrical gem in every track, and an ad campaign focused on Walkmans, this record skirts the line between Crowd faves and Critic-worthy musicianship.

7. Double Feature – ‘00s Ben Affleck Political Thrillers: The Sum of All Fears (2002) + State of Play (2009)

In The Sum of All Fears (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), Ben Affleck is Jack Ryan caught up in yet another international incident. In State of Play (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), he’s a hotshot Congressman caught up in a scandal. Both are full of plot twists and unexpected turns, and in both, Affleck is accompanied by actors you’re always happy to see, like Jason Bateman, James Cromwell, Russell Crowe, Jeff Daniels, Viola Davis, Morgan Freeman, Philip Baker Hall, David Harbour, Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren, Liev Schreiber, and Robin Wright—yes, I swear all of those people are in just those two movies.

8. Loki (2021-)

Unlike Black Widow, you can’t go into Loki with no MCU experience. The show finds clever ways to nudge us with reminders (and did better at it than Falcon and the Winter Soldier), but be forewarned that at some point, you’re just going to have to let go and accept wherever this timeline-hopper is taking you. An ever-charismatic cast keeps us grounded (Owen Wilson, Jonathan Majors, and an alligator almost steal the show from Tom Hiddleston in some eps), but while Falcon lasted an episode or two too long, Loki could’ve used a few more to flesh out its complicated plot and develop its characters. Thankfully, the jokes matter almost as much as the sci-fi, so you can still have fun even if you have no idea what’s going on.

9. Double Feature – Bruce Willis: Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995) + The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

Before Bruce Willis began starring in many random direct-to-DVD movies I only ever hear about in my Redbox emails, he was a Movie Star smirking his way up the box office charts. In the third Die Hard (Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), he teams up with Samuel L. Jackson to decipher the riddles of a terrorist madman (Jeremy Irons), and it’s a thrill ride. In The Whole Nine Yards (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), he’s hitman that screws up dentist Matthew Perry’s boring life in Canada, and—aside from one frustrating scene of let’s-objectify-women-style nudity—it’s hilarious.

10. This Is the End (2013)

On paper, this is not a movie for me. An irreverent stoner comedy about a bunch of bros partying it up before the end of the world? None of things are for Taylors. But with a little help of a TV edit to pare down the raunchy and crude bits, I laughed my way through and spent the next several days thinking through its exploration of what makes a good person. While little of the plot is accurate to Christian Gospel and theology, some of its big ideas are consistent enough with the themes of the book of Revelation I found myself thinking about it again in church this morning. (Would love to know if Seth Rogen ever expected that.) Plus, I love a good self-aware celebrity spoof—can’t tell you how many times I’ve just laughed remembering the line, “It’s me, Jonah Hill, from Moneyball”—and an homage to horror classics. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

July Critic Picks

1. Summer of Soul (…or, When the Television Could Not Be Televised) (2021)

Even director Questlove didn’t know about the Harlem Cultural Festival, but now he’s compiled the footage so we can all enjoy one of the coolest music fest lineups ever, including The 5th Dimension, B.B. King, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Nina Simone, Sly and the Family Stone, and Stevie Wonder, who made my friend’s baby dance more than once in the womb. See it on the big screen for top-notch audio. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

2. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

Robin Williams takes on the bureaucracy, disillusionment, and malaise of the Vietnam War with comedy. Williams was a one-of-a-kind talent, and here it’s on display at a level on par with Aladdin. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

3. Against the Rules Season 2 (2020-21)

Michael Lewis (author of Moneyball, adapted into a film starring Jonah Hill), is interested in how we talk about fairness. This season he looks at how coaches impact fairness in areas like college admissions, credit cards, and youth sports. 

4. Bugsy Malone (1976)

A gangster musical starring only children? It’s a little like someone just picked ideas out of a hat, but somehow it works. You can hear why in the Bugsy Malone episode Kyla and I released this month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, plus how this weird artifact of a film connects with Gilmore Girls.

5. The Queen (2006)

Before The Crown, Peter Morgan wrote The Queen, focusing on Queen Elizabeth II (Helen Mirren) in the days following the death of Princess Diana. It’s a complex and compassionate drama, both for the Queen and for Prime Minister Tony Blair (Michael Sheen, who has snuck up on me to become a favorite character actor). Maybe I’ve got a problem, but I’ll never tire of the analysis of this famous family. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

6. The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972)

This month at ZekeFilm, we took a closer look at Revisionist Westerns we’ve missed. I fell hard for Roy Bean, and I think you will, too, if for no other reason than you might like a story starring Jacqueline Bisset, Ava Gardner, John Huston, Paul Newman, and Anthony Perkins. Oh, and a bear! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

7. New Trailer Round Up

Naked Singularity (Aug. 6) – John Boyega in a crime thriller!

Queenpins (Aug. 10) – A crime comedy about extreme coupon-ing!

Dune (Oct. 1) – I’ve been cooler on the anticipation for this film, but this new look has me cautiously intrigued thanks to the Bardem + Bautista + Brolin + Chalamet + Ferguson + Isaac + Momoa + Zendaya of it all.

The Last Duel (Oct. 15) – Affleck! Damon! Driver!

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (Nov. 11) - I’m not sure why we need this, but I’m down for the Paul Rudd + Finn Wolfhard combo

King Richard (Nov. 19) - Will Smith as Venus and Serena’s father!

Encanto (Nov. 24) – Disney and Lin-Manuel Miranda making more magic together!

House of Gucci (Nov. 24) - Gaga! Pacino! Driver! 

Also in July…

Kyla and I took a look at the classic supernatural soap Dark Shadows and why Sookie might be obsessed with it on Gilmore Girls.

I revisited a so-bad-it’s-good masterpiece that’s a surrealist dream even Fellini couldn’t have cooked up. Yes, for ZekeFilm I wrote about the Vanilla Ice movie, Cool as Ice, which is now a part of my Blu-ray collection.

Photo credits: Against the Rules. All others IMDb.com.