#(i think i might have read he was the first anywhere but am not certain of it)

[bloatedandalone04]

To The One I Love - 2

Series Masterlist

➪in which you wake up with no recollection of how you ended up in the hospital, and tyler’s worst nightmare begins when you don’t have any of the answers to his questions.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 3.5k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

Tyler’s body went a bit stiff at the nurse’s words, his hand pausing on the door. “Memory loss? How much? Is it permanent?” 

The nurse gave him a pitiful smile, “It’s hard to say. It can be temporary, a few days or a few weeks. But it also could be more permanent. It depends on the extent of the damage and how her brain reacts to the trauma,” she said softly. “I know it’s not good news and it’s hard to hear, but I just wanted to prepare you for the possibility that she may not remember certain things.”

Tyler felt his face heat up and his ears started ringing, and he tightened his hold on the doorknob to feel some sort of stability. “Right, yeah. Thank you,” he managed to say as he looked back at the door, now hesitating. “What am I supposed to do? If she doesn’t remember me?”

He hated even thinking about that. You’ve been his girl since you were fourteen years old, even if you didn’t know it yet. You’d been by his side since the first day of high school, and his girlfriend for a little less than half of his high school experience. He didn’t think he could handle it if you didn’t know who he was. But would you really forget that much of your life? Is that even possible?

“Just be patient with her. Let her memories come back on their own time and don’t try to force it or push her too hard,” she answered, giving him a reassuring smile that did fucking nothing to calm his racing heart. “I don’t want to worry you since we won’t know if she will have memory loss until she wakes up, but if she does, just remember that she is still the person you know and care about, and she’ll need you to help guide her.”

Tyler nodded slowly, knowing he would be there for you every single step of the way. “Okay,” he muttered, “Thank you.”

He watched as she gave him a final smile before turning away and walking down the hall. He hovered outside the door for a few more seconds, somehow even more nervous now, even though he knew you were somewhat okay.

The fear of you not knowing who he is was plaguing his mind, making him hesitate. But he couldn’t stay out in the hall forever, and even though he was scared, he needed to see you. He needed to see that you were still here. 

Tyler turned the handle and pushed the door open, and right away things felt off. It was too quiet, too calm. In the fourteen years he’s known you, he’s never seen you so motionless. So void of life. 

His eyes swept around the room, taking in the plain walls, the tile on the floor, and the beeping of the heart monitor. It comforted him, because it was proof that you were still here, but he hated the fact that you were even connected to it in the first place. 

Slowly, Tyler’s eyes drifted over to you, and his heart fell. You were lying completely still on the bed, your eyes closed and a white bandage wrapped around your head. You looked a bit lifeless, despite the fact that you were very clearly alive, and the sight of you broke his heart. 

He quietly closed the door behind him, keeping his eyes on you the whole time. It was cold in the room, and his still damp clothes didn’t help provide him any warmth, but he couldn’t bring himself to care right now.

Tyler crossed the room and sat down on the chair next to your bed, his eyes trailing up and down your body. He could see a few scrapes and cuts on your arms, but none of them looked too bad. Still, he knew you’d hate them when you woke up and saw them, but he already loved them, because they were now part of you. There were also various bruises on your arms, but they, too, didn’t look too horrible. He knew the real issue was your head injury, the one that might cause you to have memory loss.  

He gently grabbed your hand, his thumb brushing against the small scrapes on your knuckles. “Hey, babe,” he whispered, holding onto your limp fingers like a lifeline. The moment felt a bit too intense, too intimate, so cleared his throat and spoke a little louder. “I’m here. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Of course, his words were met with silence. He wasn’t a big believer of that kinda thing, but he secretly hoped you could somehow hear him. 

It was too calm, too quiet, and soon it would start to make him go crazy. Some people would joke that Tyler is quite a fan of his own voice, and he was about to test that theory out for as long as he could, because the silence he was currently sitting in isn’t helping him at all. 

“Remember our first date? The one at that big fair that came into town? Remember how I had to steal twenty bucks from my dad just so I could get us tickets? I’d never seen him that pissed in my entire life,” he started, blurting out the first memory he thought of that he shared with you. “That was a good night, though. I tried showin’ off for you at that gun game, but I was terrible at it. All because I wanted to win you that dumb stuffed rabbit.”

Tyler was embarrassingly bad at that gun game, but he still tried it six times to win you a stuffed animal since you won a ring toss game for him. He hadn’t expected you to be so good at carnival games when he asked you, and you ended up winning a lot that night, including the stuffed rabbit that you gave to him. Then you told him to give it to you and pretend he won it, and he was all in from then on. 

But you weren’t cocky about it at all, and he ended up falling even harder for you that night. Oh yeah. He was way past the point of being in love with you before he even took you on your first date. 

“Remember when you and I went lookin’ for cars? You kept gettin’ drawn to all the red ones, even though I told you I wanted somethin’ more subtle. But you know how I could never deny you anything,” he started a new memory, this one taking place a few years after high school. “The next day I picked you up in that old, shitty, red Chevy truck, and I’d never seen you look so happy. That’s what started the red truck phase of my life, and it’s still goin’ strong.”

Back when Tyler first started driving, he wanted a simple black or gray truck, but you were a ray of color in his life, so of course you immediately started looking at the red and blue trucks when he took you to a dealership in his dad’s old Ford. He told you he wasn’t going to get a colored one, then dropped you off at your place before immediately going back with his dad and buying a red one. 

The smile you gave him when he went and picked you up the next morning was one he’d never forget. You gave him that same smile the night of your first date, and every once in a while throughout the years of your relationship. It was special, even if you couldn’t even tell the difference half the time. 

He could. 

“I don’t even know if you can hear me,” he mumbled after a while, his hand still holding yours. “Somehow it helps thinkin’ you can, though.”

More silence filled the room as he looked at your face, the way your eyes moved behind your lids made him believe you were dreaming. His thumb rubbed random shapes onto the back of your hand as he gazed over at you, his mind still a mess as he tried to keep the negative thoughts at bay, but he was never really good at that. 

“The doctors are sayin’ you might not remember much when you wake up,” he murmured, looking down at your hand. “You don’t know how much I’m hopin’ that that’s not true. You and I have too many memories, babe. Too many perfect moments to forget. I know I could never forget you, and I hope you feel the same way because…” he trailed off, glancing down at his blood stained shirt with a grimace. He wanted to throw the shirt out, to burn the reminder of the state he had to see you in after he left you alone. “Because I can’t live without you.” He finished, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing a kiss to your fingers. 

Tyler felt a bit pathetic right now, but he didn’t really care. He had no idea what the others were up to, had no idea what was going on outside, and had no clue when you would wake up and finally let him know if you were really, truly okay. 

Never had he ever felt this lost. 

“You’ve been in my life fourteen years, baby,” he whispered against your skin, his lips pressing another kiss to your hand. “It’s still not long enough. I know I probably ask for too much too often, but this time is different,” he lowered your joined hands back down to the bed, his eyes flickering up to look at your face again. “Please. Please, don’t forget about me or about us.”

At some point after that, Tyler fell asleep, his head next to your hip on the bed. He literally talked himself to sleep, though his anxiety and stress probably helped, too. 

He felt like he got maybe an hour of sleep when the feeling of fingers running through his hair registered in his mind and made him wake up. His hand was no longer in yours, and when he lifted his head and turned to look up at you, he saw that your eyes were open, barely, and your hand fell from his hair. “Y/n,” he said quickly, sitting up and ignoring the pain in his back from being hunched over for so long. “You’re awake.”

You closed your eyes as you swallowed harshly. “Yeah,” you whispered, blinking a few times. “I woke up a few minutes ago.”

Tyler felt his heart beginning to beat quickly as you talked to him like you knew him, a sure sign that you didn’t lose your memory. “Are you okay? How are you feelin’?”

You closed your eyes again and groaned quietly. “My head’s killing me,” you grunted. “What happened?”

Tyler grabbed your hand, his mind not registering the way you looked over at him with a confused expression as he answered you, “There was a surprise tornado that hit the town. You got hurt pretty bad,” his fingers laced with yours, and he noticed the way you glanced down at his hand with a furrowed brow. “You’ve been in here for just under a day.”

Your eyes met his again as your brows raised in surprise. “And they called you?” You asked, your tone one of disbelief. “That’s kind of a surprise, Owens.”

Owens. 

You hadn’t called him that since your second year of high school. 

Tyler’s smile faded a bit as he moved closer to you. “No, they didn’t call me, babe, I brought you here. I found you after the storm hit,”

You gave him a disoriented look, your eyes flickering all over his face as if you were taking in every inch of it. “You sure it’s only been a day? You look like you aged ten years,” a quiet, pained laugh escaped your lips, but he wasn’t laughing. He wasn’t even smiling anymore. “And ‘babe’? That’s new.”

Tyler’s heart fell to his stomach for the second time in twenty four hours as he tightened his hold on your hand. “Yeah, babe…It’s not new,” he trailed off, his heart loud in his ears as he looked up at you with desperate eyes. “That’s what I’ve been calling you for years…because you’re my girlfriend.”

Your eyes widened a bit as a crease formed on your forehead. “I’m your what?” You asked, looking at his face, then your joined hands, then back to his face. “Are you messing with me? What is happening?”

Tyler shook his head, his whole body tense now as he stared at you. “No, I’m not messin’ with you,” he whispered, his heart aching a bit now as you gave him another confused look. You clearly knew who he was since you called him Owens, the name you gave him in high school when you two first met. You hadn’t called him it since you got together, so to hear it now was so confusing. 

He didn’t have an answer for that last question of yours since he had no fucking clue what was happening right now. 

“They said you might not remember certain things,” he continued, “Do you know who I am?”

“Of course I do,” you answer quickly, giving his hand a hesitant squeeze. “You’re Tyler…you’re my friend.”

Fuck. 

Tyler’s heart sank as he processed your words, and he looked down at the tiled floor for a few seconds. “Yeah, I’m your friend,” he agreed quietly, afraid he might actually start crying if he were to speak any louder than that. “But we’re more than that, baby, we’re…We’ve been together for eleven years.”

Your brows furrow even more as you try to pull your hand away from his. “What? What are you talking about?”

How was he supposed to explain this without overwhelming you? He didn’t even know where to start, or if this will just end up making your memory worse, but he was slowly starting to lose his grip on reality. 

“We’ve been together for eleven years. I know it’s confusing right now and probably weird for you, but I promise you,” he started, his voice shaky and a bit all over the place. “I promise, it’s real.”

“Tyler, I don’t understand,” you groaned, closing your eyes again as he lets you pull your hand free. “I think I would remember if we started dating, and for eleven years? That’s impossible, we met when we were fourteen.”

Tyler shook his head, starting to feel as confused as you were. “Y/n, how…how old do you think you are right now?”

You kept your eyes closed as you gave him a half shrug. “I don’t know, twenty? Maybe younger? I don’t know, Owens, my head is killing me right now.”

“I know, I know, just-” he cut himself off by running a hand through his hair and letting out a quiet grunt. He knows the nurse told him not to force anything, but how was he supposed to do that and also try to lessen the confusion for you? “Remember our senior year? That night when we, you know… And our graduation?”

“Yeah, of course I remember that night,” a blush took over your face as you opened your eyes again. “But nothing ever came from it, we’re still friends. And I remember us dancing together at our graduation, which is kinda weird to think about right now.” 

Your memories were clearly all over the place right now since you remember the night you slept together for the first time after senior prom, but not when he asked you out after, and you remember being with him at your graduation, but didn’t know that you and he had been together for nearly two years at that point. 

“After prom we started dating and then we fell in love,” he murmured, feeling his eyes sting, but he wouldn’t cry right now. It would just confuse you even more. “We were happy, babe. We’re so happy together, but you don’t remember any of it. And I’m terrified I might never get you back.”

His heart felt heavy. You don’t remember falling in love with him. 

You raised a hand to your head and winced, “Look, I’m trying to remember, but I-”

Tyler reached over and gently pulled your hand away from the bandage on your head. “No, don’t. It’s…it’s okay. I’m going to go get the doctor, okay? He’ll explain it a lot better than I can,” he mumbled and stood up, but you grabbed his hand again, making him pause. 

“You’re coming back, right?” You asked, looking up at him with nervous eyes. “You won’t leave?”

Tyler gave your hand a firm squeeze as he shook his head. “No, I’m not leavin’,” he answered quietly. “I won’t leave you.”

You seemed to relax a bit at that and you loosened your grip on his fingers. “Okay. Thanks,” 

He left the room after that and braced his arms on the wall next to the door for a few seconds after as he tried to think of where he could go from here. He couldn’t try to force your memories or keep asking if you remember certain moments. It could make it worse and he wasn’t going to risk that. But how was he supposed to help you? 

Tyler pushed himself off the wall and headed towards the nurses desk, where he asked if Dr. James was available since you had woken up. The girl behind the desk paged him, then glanced down at Tyler’s shirt and asked if he wanted to change into something from the donation bin, and it didn’t take a lot for him to agree. 

He didn’t want to wear your blood for another minute. 

The nurse gave him a very ugly patterned shirt he would never wear in any other situation, then he was making his way back to your room with his old shirt in his hand. He walked through the door and saw Dr. James talking to you and asking various questions, and Tyler quickly dropped his shirt into the garbage can by the door before returning to your side. 

James ran a few tests then asked a few more questions to see if you could remember anything, and you came up blank for most of them. You did remember a few things throughout the eleven years you’ve been with him, but nothing about being in love with him, and Tyler didn’t know how much more of this he could handle before he broke down completely. 

After the evaluation was done, the doctor told you to try and rest while he talked to Tyler outside, and he hesitantly left your side again and followed James out into the hall. “She’s got major memory loss,” he stated once Tyler had closed the door. “There are a handful of things she can remember, but for the most part she won’t know what you’re talking about if you try to force stuff on her.”

Tyler tugged at his hair again, which he is sure was probably a mess from the rain and how it dried without him brushing it. “So that’s it? She doesn’t remember me?”

“She remembers you, just not the key moments,” Dr. James corrected as he placed your chart on the shelf beside the door. “All those significant moments don’t exist to her right now, but that’s not me saying she won’t ever remember them down the road.”

Tyler looked around the hall as he felt his face heat up. “That’s the love of my life in there, on that bed,” he said in a raspy, uneven voice. “But she doesn’t even remember fallin’ in love with me. She thinks I’m still just her friend from high school.”

Dr. James gave him a look of pity, and raised his hand to touch Tyler’s shoulder but quickly stopped when he saw the look Tyler gave him. “Give it time,” he said, his voice firm. “Her memories might come back on their own, but if they don’t, are you prepared to live with that? To still be there for her?” 

Tyler dropped his gaze to the floor as he put his hands on his hips. “I can’t live without her,” he whispered. 

“Then she’s lucky to have you by her side,” James nodded and started to walk away. “Who knows, maybe you’ll make her fall in love with you all over again.”

Tyler watched as the doctor told the nurse to bring in your meds, then he went back into your room and waited until she was done giving them to you before he sat back down in the chair he had a feeling he would be spending a lot of time in. 

You hadn’t taken your eyes off him since he came in here, and Tyler could tell that whatever Dr. James talked to you about was still registering in your head. Just as he was about to tell you to get some sleep, you shifted on the bed and cut him off before he could say anything. “If what you told me is true, that we’re…together…tell me all about it,” you said in a quiet voice. “I wanna know everything.”

[riizebabie444]

𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 (18+ reading) 💋

ʚɞ ─── hello and welcome to my reading which will tell you how your first time will be. this is an 18+ reading so please only read if you are over the age of 18.

ʚɞ ─── this is specifically for those who have not had any sexual encounters yet (aka the virgins <3) but this reading is open to any interpretation, such as your first time with your future spouse. but please keep in mind who this pac is meant for as it may not resonate otherwise.

ʚɞ ─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.

ʚɞ ─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.

ʚɞ ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 💋

cards drawn: the moon, the stars, king of wands, five of wands

i definitely see this being really sweet and dreamy. i am certain this will take place at night when the moon and the stars will be out. it might happen after a romantic night of stargazing and for a small number of you, it could actually be done out in the open under the night sky. for the persons reading this, i get the feminine energy from you and your partner will be the masculine (but please switch if you feel the need to) and it really feels like this masculine will take good care of you.

the way he is treating you, caring for you, attending to every detail, it will make you feel so relaxed and almost force you into a strong feminine energy. you will feel so soft and gentle and relaxed, ready to take in all of the care and affection. i see some of you may have been going through a difficult time, or have not been used to receiving this kind of attention. so it will be a new feeling for you, almost a shock to the system but you will embrace it well.

i also see for some that you may not go all the way but it will be your first time doing anything sexual. your person will surprise you by not letting you lift a finger. say if he eats you out or fingers you and you want to repay him after you've come to your senses again, he won't allow it (in a good way). he would rather you take a nap or snuggle up and watch a movie because he knows this first for you is so precious. it could also be that he pushed your limits a little bit, or maybe from reading your reactions he thinks you came really hard and he understands how tiring it can be for your first time. so he wants you to rest.

i definitely see oral. your person will go down on you. for those who will go all the way, oral as foreplay but i also see the mistake of going straight in. and it might be difficult getting it in for the first time if you get my drift. it might feel a little frustrating and anxiety-inducing, even painful when it's going inside of you. and i think at this point you will take the lead and be vocal about the things you are feeling so that you can both work together to make it as painless as possible. oh i think for pile one, if your person is a guy, it is possible he will have a big ding-dong and that is why it is more tricky and painful than you expected. but still, he is so respectful and attentive making it the best possible experience for you.

i honestly see pile one that you may even finish early or stop because of discomfort, for those who intended to go all the way. a number of you may have a really good time and finish perfectly. but i see clearly that it won't end up going all the way. you might stop because of the pain and decide to try again another time (it will be soon tho. like anywhere from the next day to the next week. i don't think any later than a week after). more than anything, it will be a learning experience and you will both spend the time between the attempts to figure out how to make it work more positively.

but the thing is, even if you finish early, it won't be a bad thing. you or they might feel a bit insecure about not being able to fulfil expectations but at the same time, this didn't happen without an emotional connection between the two of you so you understand and respect the decision, and cuddle with each other, either continue with foreplay or go straight to aftercare, take a bubble bath and possible even discuss the situation and how to handle it better. and i see you guys being confident again after you have discussed it. and if you don't go all the way, i see them trying harder and more often to make you feel good in other ways, like with oral, to satisfy you without having sex. this feels like a good pile, pile ones. even if there are mishaps, it will still end really well.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙬𝙤 💋

cards drawn: king of cups, ace of wands, death, the world

oh definitely the creation of a strong bond here, deepening something that was already there or possibly awakening the deep connection. i see you and your person being so patient with each other. you will get an emotional rise out of this, possibly more than the physical. i'm going to sound so crude saying this but i can't think of a better way to say this but with the ace of wands, it is literally a glowing hand wrapped around a stick...well, whoever has the stick will think the one working on it is doing some sort of magic with their hand. it feels so unreal to them, or it could be you. i'm certain for most that your first time will be hand stuff or will start that way. and could possibly move onto oral but i don't see that for all of you.

okay i'm thinking you guys who chose pile two are the one with the magic hand. it looks like your first time doing anything sexual, but you will make the first move. if this doesn't sound like you, i understand. but i also believe you will be so excited and surprise yourself with how motivated you are to do it. you were thinking about it for a long time and your person couldn't say no. i see for some of you it could be a "kinky lesson" kind of thing, where the person is teaching you how to do it. even showing you with their own hands. if your person is a woman, i see them using their hands to spread their flower open and you will literally gulp omg. it feels very sensual but also playful and kinky. you will both enjoy and feel turned on by the "lesson" scenario. even if you already know what you're doing, the idea that they are teaching you or vice versa is a big turn on especially because it's your first time. it will also ease your worries about not doing it well.

so the above was more focused on your first sexual experience altogether but i'm going to now focus on your first time having sex. it will be a life changing thing and i don't mean the sex will be so good it changes the trajectory of your life (i mean it will...but anyway) but i mean it will happen as you are entering a new chapter. for example, committing to your person. it could be marriage for some but for most i think it could be before marriage. or if you decide this person is your forever person, so you're entering a new phase of your life where everything doesn't just revolve around you anymore and you need to always consider your person. you could be moving in with them. it will feel like a big change. even a new job, new home, new city. you are transforming in some or every way when this happens. oh i got a message that for some of you, if you plan to wait for marriage, you may decide at that time to do it before marriage. you will surprise yourself with this decision but you will be happy with your decision, i'm seeing.

haha the death card could literally mean you feeling like you died and came back to life when climaxing. like it feels so good you literally leave this world. i see you really letting go. perhaps you were feeling so nervous leading up to this, and when it happened you surprised yourself with how loose and into it you were. it could also be letting go of expectations surrounding sex. perhaps you think about sex a lot, or read or watch it often so you have certain thoughts and expectations about sex. but when you finally experience it, you will realise sex doesn't have a frame of reference. you'll think it's such a wild and unique experience both emotionally and physically that you can't even compare it to anything you previously thought.

for the most part, it will be enjoyable. tricky at first for some but in the end, enjoyable. some of you may find it so incredible while others may feel a little underwhelmed, but will still think it was really good. i see also that some of you may have been expecting your person to be better at sex than how they performed. maybe it's because it's your first time so they're holding back, or they are just not as good as you thought rip. but i'm getting the message that the first time is not supposed to be the best time. the best sex comes with experience and comfort so maybe your expectations for your first time were quite high. i do see most of you reaching an orgasm. for some it will be insanely amazing whilst others may be expecting more. i feel like it's a mixed pile here i do apologise for not being clearer.

oh i do get the message also for those of you who are physically underwhelmed, fret not because as i said when i opened this pile's reading, your first time is more about deepening an emotional and sacred bond with your partner rather than having an out of this world physical experience. you will absolutely cherish the time with your partner. aah you will definitely have that afterglow. feeling so whole and wholesome, fulfilled, completed after sharing yourself with a special person. there is the theme of transformation coming up again. your first time will be a spiritual and emotional journey, achieving emotional fulfilment with your partner and the joy you feel physically will only make the emotions stronger.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚 💋

cards drawn: three of pentacles rv, the hermit, king of pentacles rv, queen of wands

i also saw the hanged man and four of wands whilst shuffling and although they did not come out, i feel it is relevant to say that the majority of you who chose pile three will have your first time on your wedding night. if you are saving yourself for marriage, then this is your confirmation. it will happen in a number of ways: for most of you, on your wedding night and for some it could happen coming up to the wedding (i'm seeing some could spontaneously elope prior to the wedding and have your first time then), or it could be any time after they have proposed as you are certain you will be married and are too excited to wait. but for most it will be the wedding night.

i also see that some will perform non-sex sexual acts before marriage, like foreplay, oral, with hands etc. but when you go all the way, it will be on the wedding night. you may be feeling some disharmony in a way but not with your person. you may have had a stressful wedding day or some family members weren't treating you right on your special day, perhaps some friend drama. whatever it may be, you will be feeling a little disheartened. you wanted this day to be so perfect and special but someone you love and trust ruined it for you. but don't worry, the whole day won't be ruined. and your person will do their best to help you think about the better things. and i believe there will be a support circle around you, those who will defend you and try to make your day as best as it can be. even if it is not something like a wedding day, i think people will notice the way you are mistreated and try to make you smile.

no one will try harder than your person, however. i think you can really just let down your walls and be yourself with your person and they noticed you were having your walls up due to the stress and disharmony caused earlier. so when you guys are alone at last, it will feel like there is an elephant in the room but neither of you are addressing it. they would rather you just relax and forget about everything, truly appreciating your first time and not allowing any drama from the outside world to ruin your night. oh, let me tell you, they will make you forget it completely! this feels like a soul connection, when you do it for the first time you it will be like a dance between the souls more than the bodies haha. i believe it will also make you connect with yourself. all the new feelings, sensations are weird yet enticing. it's like you passing the first level of a game and simultaneously unlocking the next hundred levels at once. you know you should take it in small steps but it will unleash so much excitement to explore your body and sexual experiences with your person to the highest level. you may even rush your partner but they will tell you to slow down as they want you both to cherish it.

and you will definitely want to do it nonstop after your first time. like the morning after, the evening after, several times a day for the next five months straight haha im really just seeing so much passion and excitement and curiosity surrounding sex, and it all stems from that first night. okay let me get to the actual night itself, your person is going to make you feel like you're sitting on a throne. heck, they might even make you sit on their face because they want to be your throne. i do see foreplay happening, taking it slow, teasing. i think you will be quite nervous though. and your person will definitely notice. i'm seeing some of you may even be panicky. possibly even insecure for some of you. and i also see your person being a little bit insecure about how well they can perform and how comfortable they can make you feel. they are just so concerned about you and they end up overthinking and feeling insecure :( so they put their all into the moment.

haha i see if you have pets, there's a good chance they might climb or jump onto the bed while you're doing it and it will be a cute, funny moment that will bring you both back to earth, you'll feel all the stress and anxiety fade away and you can try again. the energy will be much lighter this time. i do see the first time being successful, it will happen relatively smoothly for most of you. i think more than physical pain, you will be experiencing mental anguish. and that does sound quite severe but for some it will be little, others it will be more. perhaps if you are insecure about your looks or body or how certain body parts look, you may feel insecure about them and act stubbornly. say you want to wear a shirt to cover yourself which might upset your person because they will think you don't trust them.

like i said earlier though, your person will not pressure you. communication is important but they don't want to ruin your first time, it's likely it will be their first also or that they don't have a lot of experience. so they focus on doing the deed itself and enjoying it, exploring each others bodies and making the most out of it. the heavy emotions caused by earlier events will be felt by the two of you but ignored for the sake of creating a memorable night together. and all the talking and communication comes later on. i think you may wish you didn't feel so many burdens and insecurities for your first time but you will also not want it any other way because your person was so affectionate and caring. i see it being quite slow overall, very instinctual. a lot of focus on the physical to distract you from the emotional.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧 💋

cards drawn: the sun rv, the lovers, temperance rv, three of wands

the sun might literally be setting while you're doing it, or possibly rising but i see the sun going down. some of you may even plan for it to happen that way. this will definitely be done with the love of your life, as i'm seeing. for a number of you it will be on your wedding night but this is not for everyone. i think a lot of you will actually do it before or after. it feels so sweet. like you just know you are doing it with the right person. i see you guys being the more feminine but please take it how it resonates if you indeed feel the opposite.

i'm seeing a a holiday and i literally heard honeymoon. there's a good chance it could happen on your honeymoon. otherwise, it will happen when you and your person are on holiday. celebrating an anniversary perhaps or an engagement, or a birthday or valentine's day. or even just having a weekend getaway to spend time together. that is the scenario i am getting for when it will happen. how it will happen...well it's funny you ask because it seems to just happen so quickly. not the act itself but rather the decision, the passion, the excitement. i see you in particular being so impatient. you want to go to the next level so bad and don't get me wrong, your person feels the same but you are so damn ready for it. i seriously think you may be having extreme sexual frustration. you're so desperate to do it!

you may have attempted to do it already but experienced some sort of setback or delay, perhaps interrupted by life responsibilities. so when you get this chance to do it again, you are not leaving until you have done it haha. oh i think for those of you who are waiting for marriage, perhaps you didn't get the chance to do it on your wedding night or didn't end up going all the way. so you will go all the way when you are honeymooning. hmm so i think you are the type of person who tries to be positive but when you are feeling not positive it is so dramatic. you might be a bit of a drama queen and i'm seeing a scenario where your person is being so playful and attentive of your pouty mood and that's when you will realise "i want them so bad" haha like you will be ready to pounce on them. something about their little dedicated actions will make you want them so much. not just physically, you want them to be your first so bad because they are the best person ever and you can't imagine it with anyone else.

yeah there is so much impatience here. you just can't hold back anymore. it will be a real struggle for your person also they will try so hard to not rush you, but the sex itself will feel like a reward after waiting for so long and giving so much effort to wait this long. oh i'm seeing it could go on for hours. all of that tension, sexual frustration and impatience building up and then snapping and you can't stop. i'm seeing it will be slow at first but i'm also seeing at the end you'll be going fast like rabbits. you and your person will both be surprised at how much you can take, and how well you are taking it. i see you maybe even taking the lead and being on top once you get used to it.

you will both really enjoy the foreplay. for some it could happen quickly because you're so excited to get straight into the sex. but for others, the foreplay could last a while, building up to the real thing and it blows your mind even more. you first time will be so liberating. even during your very first experience, you want to do all the things you fantasised about, explore all of your kinks but the night is so short. it's hard for you to do all of that but the passion and excitement is there and your partner will see it. oh i see opposites attract, so they may be calmer and tamer than you and kind of teach you to slow down whilst still satisfying your appetite.

okay i see you partner envisioning you as a map to explore. not just in terms of exploring your body, but also your mind, your fantasies, your kinks, all the positions they can have you in. your "awakening" is also awakening something inside of them. i think it is important to practise sex in moderation because too much all at once could make you feel sick later on, like eating too many sweets. i'm pretty sure you'll end up ignoring this advice though haha. it's liberating and healing, opening a whole new world to you. this pile feels more refreshing and adventurous compared to the other piles. a very young and bright spirit. there is more focus on the experience with the body rather than emotional connections. it's opening your eyes to a whole new world, blanching your cells in a completely new feeling. i love this for you pile four. there is so much to be excited for.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚 💋

cards drawn: five of cups, two of wands, the tower, the devil rv

i'm sorry to open with this pile five but this is the only "negative" pile out of all of these piles, but i do say it lightly. it won't be an absolutely terrible experience so to speak but i do see you feeling some sort of regret after it happens. there will definitely be tears, likely from the initial pain of it happening. but i see the tears also being caused by emotions. ah for some of you, i see you thinking your first time was an opportunity to deepen your relationship with your person, but they will leave you afterwards. you had hopes they would be your forever person but after giving them something so important, they left. for some, it will be that the person was sort of using you, or they realised this experience was as far and committed as they wanted to be with you, so they leave afterwards.

i am sorry to say the above but my advice here is to be very careful and selective with the person you choose. but i think for others, it will be that they will stay with you a little longer, and leave later on due to other reasons. but you will still feel that regret of giving your virginity to them and wish you had saved it in the end. oh i do see a small number of you where it happens as a drunken mistake/one night stand or something of the sort. and for others, there is the possibility of becoming pregnant or getting someone pregnant during your first time which may lead to regrets. oh i know i am saying many different scenarios here so please only take what resonates as this is a general reading after all, there are messages for many different people.

i believe during the act itself, you will be feeling quite courageous, very daring energy. i think you will be nervous beforehand, maybe questioning if you should go through with the act or not. however, i do see you being brave and talking yourself up to it, kind of hyping yourself up to not waste anymore time. it feels quite spontaneous and in the moment, but you will simply just know that you want it to happen. it could also happen when you are abroad or travelling somewhere away from home. and you will have that excitement because your first time is an opportunity to discover something entirely new. you will be pushing yourself out of your comfort zone!

i do see it being a "messy" experience too. like clothes and bedsheets all over the place. even if it was something sweet with rose petals and candles and nice bedsheets, it will all end up a mess in the end. this can be good or bad depending on your preferences, but i do see you being shocked when you realise the extent of the mess which was made. you will be thinking "damn, were we really that unhinged?" it really feels like you're falling. you know those dreams where you're falling and you get those sensations in your tummy? i'm seeing you will have that feeling. it could be when you climax, the feeling of plummeting after reaching a high. you can also sometimes get that feeling when you are nervous or overwhelmed so it could be due to that.

the feeling itself would be quite unexpected. i feel you may have some thoughts or perceptions of how sex might feel but when it happens it is completely different. but in a good way! oh i feel you may be having some deep, dark fantasies in regards to sex, and you will be thinking about them a lot. but your first time will break you away from those fantasies because the act itself is different to what you expect, it kind of changes your thoughts about sex in general. yeah, it is literally life-changing for you. not in an extreme way lol but still, it will change your thoughts and perceptions about sex and possibly about life in general. i also think there will be lots of overwhelming feelings and emotions, but you will work through them easily. okay the last message is so random however i'm hearing "blindfolded", that may be one of your kinks or you will discover it as a kink. it could possibly be a part of your sexual experience. this was a pretty difficult pile to read for with some no-so-great messages, however i do want to tell you to not feel disheartened. you will eventually learn to accept how it happened because the first experience does not set the standard for all of them, and you will learn to have better experiences in the future!

© riizebabie444 — all rights reserved. please do not copy, steal, repost or translate my readings on any site. any act of which will be classed as plagiarism.

[moni-logues]

Scoreboard

Pairing: Bangchan x reader (afab)

Genre: pwp/smut, friends-to-lovers

Word count: 2.4k

Summary: A handjob between friends? That's deniable. You can walk that back. Oral? You weren't so sure about that, but Chan was adamant he had to keep things fair..

Content: oral sex (f. receiving), fingering

A/N: DIFFERENT SPACES COUPLE RETURNS!!!!!! A few people had asked about a part two, and I have thought about it, uh, not just a few times lol so here we finally are. WAS I going to let them have sex in part 2? Yes. HAVE I done that? .... No. You'll just have to ask for part 3, losers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I don't think you have to have read the first part to enjoy this but you'd probably get a little more out of it if you have read it)

also yes, unbeta'd etc

Part 3 is here!

*~*~

You could have kissed him forever. Would have were other parts of you a little more patient, a little more willing to take things slow. But you’d wanted Chan for weeks, months, almost years, and now he was finally here, beneath you, kissing you, hands skating softly up the curve of your waist, hesitating at your ribs.  

You weren’t hesitating. Not anymore. You pulled back from him so you could strip yourself of your top and you threw your bra with it. Didn’t give him a chance to react, to take you in. Just took his face in your hands and his bottom lip between your teeth again.  

“Touch me,” you mumbled, mouth still pressed against his, and you guided his hands upwards, cupped them over your breasts, prayed you wouldn’t have to keep coaxing action out of him.  

Because he had said he wanted it. He was kissing you like he wanted it. He had said so. Well, he had said he ‘was amenable’ to sex, which wasn’t exactly gushing enthusiasm but you would take it.  

“Chan,” you whispered, taking a beat. 

You sat back on your heels, inhaled deeply, and looked at him. He looked at you, colour high on his cheeks, ears burning, a little dazed, a little unsure.  

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked.  

You were crossing a line. That was certain. You were pretty sure that, if you stopped now, you could take it all back. You could rewind this evening and just be friends again. If he wanted. But going forward meant going forward. No returns. You would rather have him as a friend than nothing else, so you needed him to be sure now, right now at this moment, with your toes just over the line. 

“Yes!” he said, urgent, emphatic. “Yes, I do. I’m just...” 

He groaned and dragged his hands down his face. He didn’t look at you when he spoke next. 

“I’m fucking nervous.” 

“Why?” 

“Because it’s you.” 

“What am I?” 

He looked at you then, wide and open and the cutest he’d ever been. His hands hesitated in the air, not quite reaching out for you, but not not. You held them, shuffled yourself forward on his lap again, pushed his hair from his forehead.  

“Hmm,” you said, contemplating his brow. You tapped it lightly with one finger. “I think you might be thinking too much about this.” 

“That doesn’t sound like me,” he laughed.  

“Close your eyes, Channie.” 

You didn’t. You kept them trained on his face. You needed to think now; you needed to slow yourself down so he could catch up. You’d had months to think about this, fantasise about it, dream about it: a thousand scenarios, a thousand acts, a thousand kisses... You had had time, you reminded yourself, to wait for this. Much longer than he had.  

And you still had time. This wasn’t a race. The ache in your core was persistent, was impatient, but you didn’t have to be. 

You put your lips to his and kissed him. Slow. Deep. It didn’t have to go anywhere, you told yourself, hoping that Chan was somehow getting the message, too. He didn’t have to be nervous, because you wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to.  

You just needed to know what he did want and you would give him the time to tell you.  

Eventually, you felt his body relax a little; he leant back, shuffling down on the sofa and pulling you with him. He let his hands roam, grazed a nipple with his thumb a little experimentally until you moaned into his mouth for more. His hands were warm, like his heart, and firm, kneading at your breasts, pinching at your nipples and then pushing you backwards.  

With no hesitation this time, no nervous giggles, no shy glances, he put his lips around your tight bud and sucked. He kissed and he licked and he carefully grazed his teeth over you, fully absorbed in the moment. His hot breath against your skin made you shiver and his wet tongue made you wetter.  

When you felt as though he had traversed the peaks and valleys of your chest quite enough, you gave a tug at his hair and he finally flicked his eyes to yours. They were black and glazed and the look in them was like nothing you had seen from him before. It sent a thrill racing up your spine and you were about to tell him: how much you wanted him, how good that mouth was, how you wanted it elsewhere, but he spoke first. 

“I want to go down on you.” 

You choked, shocked out of your lustful stupor. You laughed.  

“I thought you were nervous!” 

His eyes lightened then, eyebrows raised. 

“Are you? We don’t have to- I-” 

“No!” You were quick to cut him off, desperate not to let him start thinking again, very happy with where his feelings were leading. “I want to. I want you to. Just... wasn’t expecting you to say it like that.” 

The blush was back on his face but he wasn’t so bashful this time. Not quite. There was too much desire there, too much greed.  

You stepped off from the sofa and, in one smooth motion, pushed your leggings and underwear to the floor. You kicked them off your feet and rejoined Chan on the sofa, swinging one leg over him, leaning down onto your elbows to resume where you had left off. Your lips were almost touching when his hands came down onto your hips and he swore. 

“Fuck! Fuck, you are naked.” 

“Yes, that tends to happen when you take your clothes off.”  

His touch rounded your backside, another curse escaping on an exhale as his hands roamed this undiscovered territory. You took the opportunity of the distraction to kiss him, but it didn’t last long. 

“You’re fucking naked,” he said again, as if it were really a wonder. 

“And you’re not,” you countered.  

“Fair point.” 

And he slapped lightly at your bum to encourage you off him, so he could push his own trousers down, discard his own underwear.  

“Now we’re both naked,” you pointed out.  

When your eyes met, there was a frisson of tension that you’d felt before, and you knew where it was going, but you forced the laughter down, couldn’t collapse into hysterics – not again, not right now.  

“Is this weird?” he asked, thinking again. Always fucking thinking.  

“Only if you make it weird! Do you want it to be weird?” 

“No.” 

“Because it’s going to be if you keep saying it is.”  

You sat back in his lap, arms draping over his shoulders, as he rubbed at his face again. 

“It’s just...”  

He swore quietly as he nuzzled his nose into your neck, dragged it down your jaw and across your cheek until his lips found yours again.  

You could feel him beneath you, stirred, re-awakened, and it sent a spasm through your walls. You’d held him in your hand but what you wouldn’t have given to squeeze him in your slick cunt.  

“Chan,” you breathed out. “I want to fuck you.” 

He kissed you in reply, moaning for half a second before he stopped. 

“Wait- no. I want to go down on you.” 

“Can’t we just fuck first?” 

You rested your forehead against his, rolled your hips over him to make the point for you.  

“I just want to fuck you,” you whispered. “Please.” 

He shook his head slowly, carefully, still pressing on yours.  

“Later. I want to go down on you.” 

And you couldn’t deny that hearing those words, not once, not twice, but three times now, made you want it, too. Made you think about his lips and his tongue and fingers and the piercing, blinding reality of this. That it was happening. That none of this was a dream.  

“I owe you one,” he continued and you paused. 

“Owe me what?” 

“An orgasm. I had one. You haven’t.” 

“Are we counting?”  

He snorted and denied it.  

“No, I just think- I just want it to be even.” 

You smacked a kiss against his cheek.  

“Well, if we’re keeping score, we’re going to need some kind of chart.”  

He couldn't stifle his laugh and you joined him, letting a little of the tension go, aware that this could easily careen out of control, abs still hurting from the fit you both had earlier that evening.

“I don’t want a chart, I just...” 

He looked at you and you looked back. The merriment fell away, discarded in an instant. Because this wasn't actually funny. Not really. It was hot. It was thrilling. It was frightening. You could see him thinking in those dark eyes, trying to find the right words; you wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to try so hard. Not for you.  

“I want this to be good for you.” 

You resisted the urge to scoff, because you knew he meant it, and because this meant something to you. Something. Everything. 

“It is good for me,” you told him, lips close enough to touch his. You closed the gap and kissed him, firmly. “I want you so fucking badly.”  

He tightened his arms around you, crushing your body to his as he latched his mouth to yours. He still tasted like honey butter chips and you knew you’d never be able to eat them without thinking of him, thinking of this. You were definitely crossing a line. The line. And you could not contain your excitement. It smeared between your lips, slick beneath you as you rolled over Chan’s hot, flushed cock.  

“I want-” Chan broke away, breathing heavily, “I want to go down on you,” he said, with greater determination this time. “I want to eat you out.” 

Without waiting for a response, he tipped you carefully, moving out from under you, pulling your hips to the edge of the sofa and pushing your thighs apart.  

“Oh shit,” he breathed, just looking at you.  

His hands squeezed at your inner thighs as his jaw clenched. You had seen this kind of focus in him before: powerful and performing and dripping with sweat, determined to leave everything he had out there on the stage, to die before he gave up. A shiver of anticipation rippled across your skin and no sooner had it settled than Chan shifted closer, dropping a surprisingly chaste kiss to your thigh. Another followed it, then one more on the other side. He kissed you all over, some barely there, some that you knew would leave a mark.  

“You know you’re literally dripping?” he asked and there wasn’t so much as a hint of his former nerves, his bashfulness, but there remained a quiet awe, a slight disbelief at what was about to happen.

There was also his cheeky, little smirk, and eyes black as pitch, wide like an open mouth. Hungry.  

“I’m very fucking aware,” you retorted, the admonition undermined by your breathlessness. “Get on with it.” 

He rolled his eyes at you, playfully, like he had done a thousand times before. Then he did something he had never done before. With one hand gripping each thigh, he put his mouth to your lips and licked a broad stripe up to your clit. You quivered, whimpered, swore when he did it again, when he gathered all your arousal on his tongue and swirled it over your swollen bud.  

It made you forget every fantasy you’d ever had. You couldn’t remember if you thought he’d be like this or not. Couldn’t remember if you’d imagined correctly the soft, sweeping pad of his tongue flat against you or the hard flick of its tip. Couldn’t recall for even a second if you’d thought to imagine the way his hands would squeeze and pull at you. Had you guessed that he would moan like that? Had you dreamt the feel of his hair between your fingers?  

Your hips were moving on their own, uncontrolled by you. Uncontrollable. You couldn’t stop them rutting against his mouth, couldn’t stop the noise resounding from yours.  

“Chan, fuck,” you gasped as he sealed his lips tight around your clit and slipped two fingers inside you. “Like that, oh shit, like that. Please... Please...” 

He moaned in response, continuing precisely as he was, like that. Just like that. His tongue flicking at your clit like a switch that only turned on. His fingers curling, pressing hard inside you, pushing and pulling in one direction only. He was firm and precise and confident.  

You remembered the way he had, minutes ago (was it really just minutes?), taken your fingers in his mouth, sticky with his own cum, after he had finished. You shivered with the heat of it. The thought of the taste of him mixing with the taste of you sent fresh arousal flooding into Chan’s hand; he was quick to catch it, his lips popping as his tongue slipped down to swipe at his sticky fingers pushing the juices from your pussy. The slick sound of it all made you blush, the noise of his enjoyment deepening the heat in your cheeks and your core.  

He let his fingers work for a second, his breath washing over your flushed cunt like a hot wind.  

“Fuck,” he panted, leaning back on his knees and tipping his head towards the ceiling.  

You opened your eyes when you felt his other hand leave your thigh, watched him squeeze at the base of his cock – so dark, so hard, so wet with precum.  

“You ok?” you gasped, still rolling your hips against his hand.  

He nodded, still looking skyward. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” he replied. 

His head fell forward and his eyes caught yours, the look in them making you suddenly shy, a giggle slipping out before you could stifle it. Though you needn’t have worried it would start the hysterics again because it was stopped short, cut off by the gasp elicited by Chan’s tongue, licking up your lips, circling your clit, teasingly light and then harder with every rotation.  

You gripped the sofa cushions tight, knuckles white, as the slow ticking of the pleasure bomb inside you grew faster, accelerating towards explosion with great intention. You knew it all too well: the tightening, the quivering, the deep, heavy drag that, in a split-second, sprang high, ricocheting from head to toe, gushing forward in a scream of delight.  

You flopped back into the cushions, sticky with sweat, chest heaving, head lightly spinning. Chan left a playful trail of kisses up your torso, onto your chest and your neck and then your mouth. He grinned at you, dopey and sparkling.  

“One all.” 

[365granitegirlx]

I saw your requests were open! I was wondering if you could maybe write a reader x roommate!Vessel, where reader is just exhausted & coming home from a late night work shift. And reader is just tired and overwhelmed and is just so glad to be home.

Take it anywhere you'd like. It just sounds really nice to come back to your quietly calm roommate (who you may absolutely adore, but oh no no, you certainly can't tell him that.)

Only if you want or have time or are interested! 😌💙🙏

Eeeeeeee nom nom nom sensitive roommate!vessel I luv u. Here you go darling anon, I hope you enjoy this little drabble!

Roommate!Vessel x gn!reader

Fluff with optional nsfw ending under the cut

Home. Finally. Even if you were just sitting in your darkened car in the driveway, you already felt a little better. You just needed a sec to decompress before being around anyone again. Not that Vessel ever made you talk about your day or act a certain way. He toes the line between aloof-house cat-roommate and emotional-support-roommate really well.

You think back to the first time you came home to him after a closing shift. He sat in the living room, lights off, watching tv, wrapped in a blanket. You knew then you chose the right housemate. He patted the cushion next to him, even offered to change the channel. When you sighed heavily, he just asked, “rough day?” You nodded, and he patted your hand. That was all you needed.

And then there was that other time he stayed up until 2 AM listening to you and comforting you after a disagreement with a coworker that was so bad you were actually questioning if this was the right field for you. That was the first time he saw you cry. Not like when you cry during a movie. Like bawling. You swear after he finally let you go from the bear hug that he might have had a little tear in his eye, too.

Oh…and that time you came home grumpy around Valentine’s Day and you were surprised to see him home. His date cancelled, so you two stayed up and watched shitty rom coms and eating Chinese food.

Sometimes you wondered idly what he did after you parted ways on nights like that. His bedroom was just down the hall but he still felt far away. How did he perceive you? Surely he’s just being nice. Just polite. With his sweet grin. Soft hands. God damn it. You’ve been lying to yourself long enough. You’re in love with him. But if you tell him you’ll lose your roommate and a good friend (or at least got like to think so). You sigh heavily as you leave your car and go inside. He’s in the kitchen having a snack when his face lights up upon seeing you.

“Hey. Alright?”

You shrug. “Exhausted in every sense.”

He beckons you over and gives you a little hug before reaching his fingers behind your neck. He gently takes your lanyard off you and sets it on the kitchen island. “You don’t need that anymore. Home now…and for the long weekend no less. That’s good, yeah? Are you hungry?”

You don’t respond. You’re just looking at him softly. Blankly but softly. God he’s just right there. “Can I have another hug?”

It’s his turn not to answer. He pulls you close and rubs your back with his knuckles. You can finally breathe. As the hug ends, you absentmindedly place a kiss on his neck. You were so wrapped up in how good he felt and your feelings that you just…

“Do that again,” he whispers. You can’t believe it. He wants you to keep going. Your kisses trail up to his cheek and that’s when he moves his lips to finally meet yours. That first kiss. Your tummy is full of butterflies…and fireworks. You cannot believe your luck that you read the signs right. He holds your face like you’re his. And perhaps you are now. You hope so. His lips could cure anything, you think. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad night after all.

You thought blurting out “I’m literally in love with you” right after that kiss might have ruined things. But seeing as you’re in his bed…giving him consent to touch you under clothes…and hearing him make the same confession as he places an easily hidden love bite on your collarbone…you think maybe closing shifts won’t be that bad anymore.

[avocado-writing]

Hello, hope you're doing okay! 😊

About that good omens requests 👀 how about reader finding out Crowley has been living in his car so they offer for him to move in? At first it's all awkward but they quickly fall in a weirdly domestic routine?

Would also love to see Aziraphale's reaction when he finds out the two has been living together. 😀

notes: avo don’t mention bakeoff in a fic challenge level impossible

pairing: crowley x reader

rating: T

Day 1:

“Your car?! Crowley, you can’t be serious.”

He’s certain he’s told you about his living situation. Well. He was certain. You’re looking at him now with such horror it’s like he kicked a puppy in front of you, and he wonders if perhaps he let it slip his mind. 

“I don’t have the flat any more, do I? Where else am I meant to go?”

You open your mouth to retort and then realise… where can he go? Aziraphale’s? God, you love the angel, he’s one of the best friends you have — but he is a bit obtuse when it comes to social things. And you’re not sure Crowley actually has any money, so he can’t rent anywhere else to live. 

Well, no matter. You shan’t let it stand for a moment more. 

“You’re moving in.”

“What?!” he looks appalled. You put your hands on your hips. 

“I’ll have no complaining, Crowley. That car is not a home. You’re coming to live with me.”

You’ve been with Crowley for a couple of months now. This is perhaps expediting the process of a relationship - the moving in stage usually takes a bit longer - but you’re pretty sure this constitutes an emergency. He is, for all intents and purposes, homeless. 

Besides, having a live-in boyfriend might be nice. He could make you tea. 

So that evening finds the two of you unloading his few possessions from the car and finding space for them in the flat. He takes a long while to work out where the best place is for his house plants, but eventually the two of you are left sitting on the couch surrounded by your joint belongings. 

“Would you like a room to yourself? The spare is my office at the moment, but I can always move my desk into my bedroom.”

“Do you want me to have a room to myself?” he asks, arching an eyebrow over his sunglasses. 

“Well, no, I want you to share the double with me—”

“Then there’s no conflict of interest, is there?”

You smile and he kisses you. 

Day 2:

It doesn’t feel strange, waking up with him next to you. He’s slept over a couple of times at this point. What does feel odd is the way he doesn’t head off as you start to make breakfast, instead he asks to borrow a towel and use the shower. 

He doesn’t even have any bloody towels, you think, but acquiesce to his request. 

He spends a lot of time in the shower. You’re not sure how hot he has it running, but by the end of the affair steam is leaking out from the gap between the bathroom door and your stone tiling. When he emerges with the towel wrapped up on his head, it is with a billow of clouds. 

“Have you turned the extractor fan on?” 

“Hmm?” he asks, looking up from drying his hair. He hasn’t manifested anything on his body, so he’s smooth as a Barbie doll - it’s a bit disconcerting just having him stand there like that. You try not to look at the featureless mound. 

“Extractor fan!”

He sighs and moseys back into the bathroom, walking into the wall a little where his glasses have fogged up. 

As you watch your flat fall foul to condensation, you consider that this might take some adjustment. 

Day 3:

“Bake-off tonight.”

“Must we?”

“We must.”

Crowley groans and flops onto the sofa. It occurs to you that you’ve never actually seen him sit. He’s always flopping, like everything is constantly far too much effort for him. 

“Please, it’s a show made with the sole purpose of torturing me. It’s so… twee.”

“Well buckle in, matey. We have ten weeks of it.”

“Ugh.”

“You can go and read in the bedroom if you prefer.”

“Fine. I will.”

But he doesn’t move an inch and complains throughout the whole program. However he does swing his legs up onto yours for comfort. 

Day 7:

You’re falling into a routine. 

You wake up, perform your ablutions in the bathroom, then start on breakfast. The sound of the kettle lures him out of bed and into the shower. He spends so long in there you don’t bother making him a drink, instead you wait until he deems it fit to emerge and he reboils the leftover water. He takes his coffee black and the two of you chat about your plans for the day. 

Unfortunately you have to work. You have a pretty well-paying job so the slightly increased energy bill and thoroughly increased water bill aren’t too much of an issue, but it does mean you can’t spend as much time with him as you’d like. 

At least the flat is always spotless, though. To be fair to him he is an efficient housekeeper. There’s always a new configuration for the plants, too, as if botanical feng shui is all he does while you’re away. 

It’s nice. It’s… domestic. And it’s utterly Crowley. 

Day 30:

His belongings are mingling with yours now. Combined bookshelves with his new purchases. His record player set up on your side table with a mix of records. He has a special blend of tea which sits right next to your earl grey, and a single black mug which stands out against the rainbow of your collection. 

At night he wraps around you and tangles his legs with yours. His hand slides onto the plain of your stomach and you thread your fingers through his while he feels you breathe. 

He no longer wears his sunglasses around the flat. 

It is wonderful. 

He still claims not to like Bake-off. 

Day 45:

“Crowley? Why can I smell burning?”

You know he’s opening his mouth to lie, deciding against it, and instead making the choice not to say anything at all. Bracing yourself, you walk into the kitchen. 

“Oh! Crowley…”

“Not a word,” he says, trying to finish the decoration on the chocolate cake. It stands three tiers tall and, though the kitchen is a mess and he is somehow covered with buttercream, you can tell he’s actually pretty proud of himself. One last squeeze of the icing bag and he’s done, triumphant and grinning at his creation. 

“Why all this?” you ask. He shrugs. 

“You said the cakes looked good on Bake-off last night. Figured they couldn’t be that hard to do.”

“And do you still stand by that assessment?” you wipe some icing off of the tip of his nose. 

“Just eat the bloody cake.”

You laugh, and you do. It’s delicious. But not as delicious as the kiss he gives you. 

Day 64:

“You’re living together?!”

You peer up at Aziraphale from over the top of your novel, then exchange a glance with Crowley.

“Well, yes.”

“For a couple of months now actually, angel.”

“You never told me!”

You’re certain you did, but don’t object. He’ll get all persnickety if you do. 

“Did you not think it was strange we always took the Bentley ‘home’ together?” is what you say instead. “And that we always arrive at the same time, too?”

Aziraphale fumbles for words and comes up empty. He settles on:

“Hmm. Well, I expect to be invited over for dinner.”

“Of course. Crowley will make dessert.”

The angel’s eyes light up, and Crowley looks at you as if you’ve cursed him. 

Taglist: @angiestopit@dazed-soul@foolishprincipalitee@smile-eywa@staygoldsquatchling02@underratedboogeyman@specter-soltare@cool-ontherun-world@emilynissangtr@willbedecided@cool-iguana@this--is--music@ilyatan@lxsm2@clarina04@wtfhasmy-lifecometo@mrgatotortuga@wereallbrokenangels@night-affiliate@kimqueenofhell@chewbrry @bajablast23 @h3k3t@am-i-obsessed---maybe@bakerstreethound@darktealrat@chaospossum@belilwen@rex-ray@hunterispunk

[spliffymae]

WRITTEN OFF.

synopsis: it’s just you and your ex husband speaking…at three in the morning…with tensions at a crazy high…you’re totally fine.

⚠️, swearing, mentions of cheating, smut, oral (m receiving), toji is a dickhead, reader experiencing body issues during pregnancy, angst with a mix of sadness.

pt.1 if y’all haven’t read it already :)

kio’s notes - guys i am so proud of this part. omfg idk what it is but i ate this shit up. also wanted to just say thank you all so much for interacting with my posts and loving my stories 🫶🏽🥹 honestly makes me so happy to know y’all love it!

now playing:

⊱ ──────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.}──────── ⊰

“so my name can’t be said in your house, toji? what, am i voldemort now?”

“might as well be.” he mumbled, looking anywhere but at you. he couldn’t, not when you wore one of his old college sweaters he had forgotten at your house when you two started dating, four years ago. you ended up keeping it as a part of your wardrobe.

unfortunately, you hadn’t a clue that you were wearing something of his.

you folded your arms, leaning on your right leg. you were going to start with your attitude, you knew that for certain, and you didn’t care. “really? that’s how we’re acting? grow the hell up, toji. i’m not the one who ruined our marriage.”

“no just the one who ended it, right?”

you scoffed, “well i wonder why!” you said sarcastically. if he could play the ass then so could you. hell, you’d do it better.

toji rolled his eyes as a response. “i’m not doing whatever this is with you, (y/n). just tell me what megumi took and let me go take care of him.” he pinched the bridge of his nose with his empty hand. he was stressed, the evidence all over his face.

unbeknownst to you, he had been having the hardest time as a single father, trying to manage the complexities between todays adolescent life and the development of a baby. now add on his hefty paperwork from his missions and he was positive he could be sent to an early grave from stressing so hard. there wasn’t enough time in the day.

“i don’t know what the drug is, he—.” toji cut you off,

“the hell you mean you don’t know?” he spoke as if you should’ve known, almost judging you for not. the tone had your brow raised, now looking at him with narrow eyes. it was your way of telepathy, non-verbally telling him to ‘watch it’, because he was on paper thin ice.

“like i was saying—he got in the car and didn’t say. i didn’t even think to ask at that moment because i was just concerned with bringing him home first. it was a priority but at—.”

he cut you off again, this time with a scoff.

“just not top priority, right?”

you blinked.

you blinked again.

there was a silence between the two of you. a thick silence holding all the tension you two had created from being in the others presence.

toji had regretted the words just as they came out. he knew he messed up. he knew megumi had been your top priority when he didn’t have to be. when you were nothing more than toji’s friend who would just babysit the young boy whenever his father went out on missions.

megumi had been your first child, whether it be by blood or not. you loved him like he was, raised him, and became the parent he never knew he needed.

toji would always say it was your smile that drew him in, or say to his colleagues at work dinners it was your beauty, but truthfully—honestly, it was the way you loved his son like he was your own.

“i’m gonna give you a chance to take that back,” you spoke softly, voice slightly cracking. “because i know right now you’re just saying shit to hurt me. i love megumi, and if you wanna swing low, i promise you, toji, i will swing to hell.” you pointed. your eyes had become glossy with tears and you hated it.

megumi was a soft spot for you, always has been. whenever you and toji would get in spats in regard to him you were always on the defense for megumi. you were his advocate when there was no one else. but you were also reminded by toji (only when boiling points had been reached) that your advocacy did not need to be respected because you were not megumi’s real mom.

toji looked at his daughter, who had fallen asleep against his chest, soft and shallow breaths leaving her lips. she was your twin and he knew it was his karma. karma for his infidelity, his lying ways. he knew he shouldn’t have said anything, but he couldn’t help it.

“say it, toji. tell me i’m not his mom—do it!” you stepped closer. your eyes quickly darted to your daughter to see if your sudden volume increase had startled her awake. thankfully it didn’t.

“tell me he’s not my son, go ahead. tell me i went to every sports game, recital, and parent-teacher interview by myself because he wasn’t my son. say it, i want to hear you say, ‘(y/n), you’re not megumi’s mom. he’s not your son.”

there were tears in your eyes now, droplets falling after you’d blink. “let me remind you while you were out getting your dick wet in another bitch, i was home, pregnant and alone, with megumi who had a high ass fever. i took care of him when his own father put pussy over him. so don’t come to me about my priorities, ight?”

at the mention of his cheating, toji’s lips pressed into a thin line. he had definitely struck a nerve with his previous comment.

“i told you she meant nothing to me. i wasn’t in my right mind and—”

“and were just mad at your pregnant wife, so you decided to cheat on her. that would show me, huh toji?”

how many times was he going to have to apologize for what he did?

for doing the one thing he swore to not do?

he opened his mouth to speak. what he was going to say was what he didn’t quite know just yet. he wasn’t sure if he wanted to defend himself or just fight back. what was even the point of fighting back? everything you were saying was true.

rin had fussed from under him, her little whines being a reminder to her parents she was still present.

“i—” toji began but you cut him off by raising your hand up,

“shut up and feed my child. i’m going to go check on my son.” you didn’t wait for response from him as you turned to head upstairs, stomping away to let out some anger.

you left toji to realize he was in fact about to feed rin before arguing with you. and he cursed himself for forgetting what he originally came downstairs to do.

“shit.” he muttered as he went to the couch. he took her out the carrier and sat down with her. thankfully her bottle hadn’t spoiled and was still warm. damn you for being aware of your daughters needs.

“sorry, rinny. got distracted.” he kissed her forehead as he put the bottle to her lips. there was that feeling he felt in the kitchen again, that guilt. he hated it.

it was like someone took a fire to the inside of his stomach. it was hot, burning even. he was uncomfortable whenever it came because it was a feeling he couldn’t suppress.

he felt ever since that night, and it only ever grew as the days progressed.

toji had come home later than he told you, he had to stop to bring home food for you and megumi, as well as shower to rid himself of the smell of sex.

he didn’t mean to do it, honestly. he was just mad and needy. you hadn’t been giving him the attention he wanted from you. you wouldn’t let him touch you or even kiss you anywhere that wasn’t on your face. he needed the intimacy, and you only wanted privacy.

you claimed it was because you felt gross. you tried to explain to your husband how the pregnancy was affecting your mental state, mostly how you viewed your body. you already had body issues prior to being pregnant, but now, at your six month mark, you felt like you didn’t know who was staring back at you in the mirror.

but toji couldn’t understand. he kept trying to tell you how pretty you were to him, how beautiful you were all big with his baby, but you would never really take in his words. you just shrugged them and his reassuring kisses off with a fake smile and a quiet “thanks.”

you were supposed to go with him to this big work dinner. you had promised him you’d go and be his pretty little wife months ago. smile big in front of potential clients, mention your husband’s various accolades, basically put toji on a pedestal so they would choose him.

but when the night came, you weren’t feeling up for the event. toji of course wasn’t pleased as he had been telling you about this dinner for months. he tried to convince you to come but like previous disputes you two have had, it ended in yelling and arguments.

you yelled at him for his apathy; not understanding just how tired you were from carrying his baby, working during the pregnancy, and being the present parent for megumi in terms of school while toji went on his missions.

he yelled at you for not giving him the attention he deserves as your husband. for not being there for him when he needed you. honestly he knew it was dumb to have this argument. he should’ve just kissed you and agreed to let you stay home. but his stupid pride got in the way.

so he ended up going alone, dressed in his fancy suit and shoes, silver audemars piguet watch on his wrist and cuff links to match. he walked into the banquet hall and decided he would do it all himself—like he always did.

that’s when he stumbled into her, shoko ieri. she had complimented him on the way he flipped one of the biggest and most stubborn drug lords in the city to hire him for a hit job. she offered to buy him a celebratory drink, whiskey—since she was drinking it too.

it happened fast, at least to toji. the way they went from a playful banter by the bar to sitting next to each other at one of the tables. she had been a guest of his colleague, satorou gojo. she was a doctor for men in his line of work.

“so if i get injured on the job…” toji remembers starting, leaning back in the chair and putting his arm around the back of shoko’s. he had a smirk on his face as he manspread in his seat.

“then just stop by mine and i’ll make it all better.” she patted his cheek, eyes twinkling in mischief.

she ordered another round of whiskey for the two of them. the more he drank, the more you and megumi slipped from his mind. the more he ignored the gnawing sound in the back of his head. the one that kept telling him to stop.

another round of whiskey lowers the volume of his conscience. he can hear shoko better as she tells him about an impromptu surgery she performed on toji’s other colleague—and the godfather to your daughter, suguru geto. she touches toji’s bicep every now and again, as the story reaches turning points and it’s climax. the noise in his head comes back once she finishes the story, reminding him that you are waiting for him at home.

“but i don’t want to talk about me. i want to hear about the one and only toji fushiguro,” she leans in to him and his heart swells.

another round of whiskey. the noise has been minimized to a hum toji now hears every now and again as he tells her about an operation gone wrong in nagasaki. the conversation takes a flirtatious turn when shoko’s hand flies to his knee in a somber stroke, mumbling about how tired toji must’ve been after. his ego bursts.

another round of whiskey and toji does not recall there ever being a noise in his head. it’s quiet now, with only the sound of the jazz band and shoko having his attention. her hand remains on his knee, cherry red nails scraping against his thigh as it inches higher. toji makes a comment about switching to water for the night but shoko reminds him that just like the night they are both young.

another round of whiskey. toji’s hand is squeezing shoko’s thigh, his fingers grazing higher to places he yearns to explore. her lips now the colour plum, stained from the red wine she was nursing in between shots.

“there’s a hotel above us, y’know.” her eyes were piercing into his own. lips in a smirk and cheeks red from being flustered.

“so why are we still sitting here?” toji asked, lifting a brow. shoko smiled and unlocked her phone, passed it to him with the contact page open.

“add yourself. then wait for ten minutes.” she had a confidence about her that toji found captivating. so he did as she said, tapping his thumbs against her screen and filling out the information. when he gave her back the phone, she smiled and stood up, sauntering away.

his dick was hard. he was leaning back in the chair, wiping a hand down his face to calm himself down.

in the moments he spent to himself, the noise he had long forgotten slowly made its way back to max volume. he signaled to the waitress for another round.

the glasses of alcohol were brought in front of him, two tall shot glasses. he took them down without a thought, the liquid burning his throat.

his phone vibrated on his lap,

unknown

room 615.

it happened in slow motion, at least to toji. the way his fist knocked against the door of the hotel room and shoko answered with a smirk before pulling him in by his belt. then things started to pick up.

the way he cupped her face and kissed her hungrily. his anger from earlier and passion from the lust he felt were put into the kiss, the sounds of their lips smacking and shoko moaning ringing in his ears.

she broke away to flash a wicked smile before she bent down in her heels, becoming eye level with his crotch. she began pawing at the bulge in his pants, emitting a groan from him. his hand grabbed at her hair, chestnut coloured tresses bunched up in his fist and a gruff “suck it” leaving his lips.

his dick was hard and it was leaking for her. the way she sucked on his reddened tip had his eyes fluttering closed. she opened her mouth wide and took him until her nose was brushing against his freshly trimmed pubic hairs.

those same nails that had his leg jumping traced his prominent v-line. toji was seeing stars as she began to bob her head. he hadn’t gotten head in so long, months probably. her throat was so tight, so warm.

does it help if he said he thought of you during it, the cheating?

when he had her back arched over the bathroom sink and stared at her fucked out expression through the mirror, he saw you for a minute. he blamed the alcohol, of course.

would it make you feel better if he said he used condoms?

he didn’t want to bring anything back to you. and after that night, he got tested sometime that week to make sure everything was okay. it was, and he let out a sigh of relief.

can knowing he felt like absolute shit once he finished bring you solace?

when she had come for the third and final time in the bed, he gave her a kiss to the forehead as she fell to sleep. he walked bear to the shower and at the sight of himself in the mirror he wanted to throw up.

he came home just after midnight to find you were sitting outside megumi’s door with a blanket over your body and head resting back against the wall.

“love,” toji crouched down and shook you softly. you should have been in bed. “(y/n), wake up.”

you stirred, but eventually your eyes opened to see your husband, with a curious look on his face. “you’re on the floor.”

“why didn’t you answer your phone?” was the first thing you asked him. you didn’t say hi, you didn’t ask how the night was—you got straight to it.

toji pulled his phone out from his pants pocket and turned off his do not disturb to see he had five missed calls and ten texts from you.

“i put it on do not disturb so i could focus on the clients, m’sorry baby. what happened, are you okay?” he quickly scrolled through the messages:

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

you seriously are going to throw a fit bc i’m pregnant and tired?

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

fine fuck you then

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

ok not fuck you fuck you. fuck you for now

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

megs is sick and his head is burning. is your dinner close to finishing?

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

toji i get we are beefing atm but our son is sick and i need your help

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

he just told me to leave him alone bc he doesn’t want to get me sick and possibly harm the baby. i told him that won’t happen but he won’t listen to me. toji pls call him

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

bro can you not be on your petty shit for a hot minute and just answer me?! i don’t know what to do he has chills now! holy fuck

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

toji !

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

update: it’s been an hr, idk what tf you got goin on but megs is still sick. i made him soup and he had a little before throwing up. i gave him some medicine and cold towel for his head but there’s no change. idek why i’m texting this shit to you 🙄

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

if i lock your ass out pls know it was justified.

toji looked at you with apologetic eyes. you were mad, rightfully so. you had expressed to him how uncomfortable you had been lately, with your body in more pain then before. standing up for long was difficult, he knew this. he had heard the doctor tell you not to over exert yourself and take it easy on your body.

“started to think you wouldn’t be coming home.” you pushed the blanket off of you, dressed in one of his tee shirts and a pair of your pajama pants, your cornrows tucked away under your hair scarf.

you struggled to get up on your own, your max weight now being shifted to your front and creating an imbalance. but you did it with a huff, toji standing tall now and watching. he had offered to help but you slapped his hand away.

“(y/n)—.”

“shut the fuck up. i’m going to bed and you’re on the couch.” you pushed the blanket into his chest. he was still slightly drunk so he stumbled back a bit, but caught himself.

toji didn’t have any more time to dwell on his past actions. or to recall the night you found out, because you had come back downstairs. “megs’ still high, but he says it’s better than how he was before. he said he and his friends took a pill—probably molly. i ordered him some food to eat so hopefully it comes down fast. rin doing okay?” you stood at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the banister.

in front of you was toji’s back as he held rin, who was fast asleep in a formula coma. the bottle was empty and she was content, snoring away in her fathers arms.

“she’s fine now.” he mumbled but you heard. and with a nod, you walked to the door to put your shoes back on.

“great, i’ll be on my way. listen out for his food. kiss rin f’me.”

toji heard you unlock the door, and heard the sound of it opening. before you walked out though, he called out to you.

“yes?”

“was there any part of you that would’ve taken me back….after everything?” he turned his head so he could see you in his peripheral. he wasn’t going to look at you as you said it, he couldn’t.

he doesn’t think you understand how hard it’s been to look at you since that night.

you blew air out your mouth, cheeks puffed and eyebrows raised. you hadn’t expected for this to be the question he asks you as you get ready to leave. not at damn near five in the morning.

but might as well, right?

“honestly, yeah. i would always have these random moments where i would feel like i needed you again, in my life or in my bed…but then i would remember that you cheated on me when i was pregnant, and when i was in the darkest period of my pregnancy, at that.”

the emotions were still raw for you, the betrayal and the pain. it was a feeling that felt almost close to that of stabbing. a piercing blade through your heart that turned deeper into the organ anytime you’d think about it.

“i, uh, remember how i stayed up crying for months after because i just knew that whoever that woman was, she must’ve been the definition of gorgeous—because you used to tell me there was not a being alive who could outshine my beauty. and i believed you.”

“i didn’t lie” toji said. his voice was shaky and he honestly didn’t know why he asked you such a question. it was obvious there was no sign of reconciliation between you two. but yet he asked anyways, hoping some higher being somewhere would give him back his family. he didn’t appreciate it at first, but he’s learned now.

you chuckled dryly, “no, you were just proven wrong. goodnight, toji.” you quickly left after that, not wanting to wait around for anything he had to say.

as far as you were concerned, that was the end. it was over.

pt. 3

[wannaeatramyeon]

//peeks in here//

I am shyly going to ask if requesting where the reader is Goo’s younger sister and where Samuel somehow gets hired to protect Goo’s younger sister (despite the younger sister knowing some self defense) / the reader falling for Samuel? Would be okay with you? :0 (if that makes any sense-)

If not, that’s totally fine :>

Just thought I’d give it a shot aha-

Sure that's ok with me anon! Sorry for the delay! Man I miss the days before Sammy was fully unhinged.

Samuel Seo x Goo's Younger Sister!Reader: Plushie

Goo doesn't like this.

The way your eyes widen upon first meeting, the way his linger a moment too long.

If he wasn't busy being out of town, running around like Charles Choi's very well paid dog, he wouldn't need to do this.

But Samuel, with his terrible daddy issues and irrational need to prove himself-

Goo might as well take advantage of it.

"If she misses even a hair on her pretty lil head then I'll cut yours off, ok Samuel?"

"Oppa!"

.

.

Sammy-

(Or Samuel as he likes to be called. Which you learned after you earned a disapproving glare and a correction each time. Good thing his glares have no effect on you and you don't care what he likes.)

- is more patient with you than his haughty and bored expression may suggest.

To your annoyance, it seems that he has taken your Oppa's word to heart and has made it his current life mission to keep you in sight and within reach almost all times.

"What do you like to watch, Sammy?"

As if on reflex, the glare comes. Except it doesn't hold anywhere near as much frostiness as it did in the first couple days. He's still exasperated, but becoming resigned to his unfavourable nickname.

"Nothing."

You're also getting used to his short, curt responses.

If you think about it, It's kind of ridiculous that this man is sitting next to you in your apartment. Very close quarters. Shadowing you for over a week now.

Dressed down. In a hoodie that is at once large and comfy, yet extremely tight in certain areas, and sweatpants. His dress code has gradually loosened. From expensive tailored suits, to casual shirts and chinos, and now to this.

This situation can be read as intimate. Except he's only here because he has to be, and your Oppa doesn't believe you can protect yourself.

(You wanted to tell Goo that he's wrong. He was the one that trained you up, after all. But there's no stopping him once he gets something in his head.)

"You must like to watch something. Action? Thrillers? Comedies? Documentaries?" 

"I prefer to read."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes, "What about when you were a kid? You must like something then."

An inscrutable expression flashes across Samuel's face, his next words come out forced. "Nothing. I couldn’t- didn’t watch anything."

Oh. 

You file that away for another time, maybe when you don't have whatever this wall is between you. If that day ever comes.

That small bit of insight into what sort of boy this man used to be.

Because the likely reasons he couldn’t are either he wasn't allowed to or couldn't afford to, and neither of these are great choices.

You decide to breeze over it. For today. Deciding that Sammy is not the sort of person that would want any sort of sympathy. That he would most likely interpret it as pity.

"Well, let's watch this. It's my fave."

Unfortunately your fave is nothing short of absolute trash.

.

.

Samuel sits silent throughout the full 30 minutes.

At the end, you turn to him and press for his thoughts.

"It's... not bad."

His answer stuns you. You don't hide your expression and receive a small smile in return.

You look at him in a new light.

If someone was to ask either of you when it started, both of you would probably answer this moment was when the fondness started to grow.

.

.

Goo would likely kill him.

Trace a blade along each of his tattoos, dig in and watch the crimson flow.

If Goo knew that Samuel had any sort of anything towards you, Samuel would suffer a fate worse than death.

Still, the close quarters are doing nothing to help his budding interest.

The show was a turning point. From you being Goo's somewhat bratty and annoying sister-

(Goo is extremely bratty and annoying himself, of course it would run in the family.)

- to you being… Well.

You.

A fully formed person in your own right.

Your laughter changes from grating to infectious.

Your questions from prying to simply curious.

Your 'Sammy' from exasperating to endearing.

Even his assigned job to look after you no longer feels like a chore, another chance to nurture his Secret Friend status.

It's enjoyable.

.

.

Your shopping habits test the limit of Samuel's patience.

Your shoes are also testing the limit of your foot arch, but you decide it's worth it to see how long he can bear traipsing after you.

He might be winning this one as he follows you obediently, store after store.

Reaching for his wallet each time you carry an item towards the register. You rebuff him with a wave of your black credit card (technically, your Oppa's black credit card) and Samuel seems to suffer from not being able to perform this act of gallantry.

Offers his opinion even when you don't ask, usually in distaste at something you're looking at. A huff of laughter when you accuse him of being the one with no taste. 

Accuses outright you of being tasteless when you ponder over purchasing an adorable plushie.

Samuel dismisses it. "It's ugly."

"Well it reminds me of you!"

He stills for a moment, shock briefly crossing his face before chuckling. Eyes lighting up with mirth.

And you think 'damn him, he's not ugly at all.'

Annoyed, you return the plushie back to the shelf with force.

You're still petulant as you continue to look around afterwards, and he seems to relish in the way you stomp around heavy footed.

His apology comes hours later, when you're waiting at the food court. In the form of some greasy junk food you demanded in one hand; the plushie you squealed over and he physically recoiled at, in the other.

"To remind you of me," he smirks.

That night, as you lay awake with the plushie in your arms. You also think 'damn it, it does remind you of him.'

And squeeze it tighter to your body.

[ch0-fuyu]

Suni talks: Chainsaw Man and the over-s*xualization of some of its characters....

From women to female characters, they all were, are and will continue to be the objects of all men's desires. Nothing is different when it comes to the anime community. In fact, it only gets worse.

Not only do some fans seek to s*xualize some characters for their own 'enjoyment', but they seem to be encouraged. In same cases, the mangakas, the anime studio, the merch producers and other unofficial sellers of merchandise contribute to the damaging viewing of female characters...

(small break) This reminds me of the TikTok an 'anime' guy made in which he implies he stole the virginity of his body pillow of Demon Slayers' 12 to 14 year old Nezuko. That's exactly what I am trying to hint at. These people will s*xualize female characters despite their age and no matter if the 'right' content will be provided for them. That's why I personally think they shouldn't be given 'what they want' (s*xualized figurines, body pillows, etc).

My inspiration for this post was a certain series of Chainsaw Man figurines of some of its female characters dressed in playboy bunny costumes.

With just one search of "Chainsaw Man Figurines" and below a minute of scrolling, you will be greeted by the pictures of Makima and Power figurines dressed in playboy bunny costumes. While Makima is depicted as an adult, Power is not. And besides their ages, which i could not find anywhere, Power is made out to be Denji's first friend, a 16 year old. Most of the times, she behaves much more childishly than Denji, so no matter her 'real' age, the viewers are meant to believe she's only a teenager.

Now it's true that Chainsaw Man is a story which revolves around a teenage boy so the s*xual side of it is mainly present because of that aspect. However, not all anime fans are teenagers and this content, whether it's shonen anime, merchandise and even h*ntai (oh god, the territory i'm crossing here), can be consumed by anybody.

There are plenty other female characters that are s*xualized without having a 'sexy figurine' made of them, including Himeno (supposedly in her mid to late 20's and is also a romanticized by the fandom s*xual abus*r), Kobeni (20 year old), Reze (supposedly late teens to early 20's, shown wearing little to no clothing in the manga) and lately Asa (mid to late teens). It doesn't take much to be seen as an object.

And don't get me wrong, I love Chainsaw Man. I am currently reading the series and I'm not anywhere near dropping it. It's entertaining and its approach is really different from usual shonen manga. However we can't not acknowledge the flaws in some scenes and merchandise pieces.

Some people might say not only female characters get over-s*xualized in the anime community and that's absolutely right! Again, some men have been getting mad after the second season of Jujutsu Kaisen got released and seeing all the "female" fan service of Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Kamo Choso, etc. There have been understandably terrible incidents such as the "Bloody Gojo Figurine" one when a supposed underage fan had ruined their figurine of Jujutsu Kaisen's character with their own period blood... But unfortunately for women and most likely fortunately for men, these behaviors are currently not affecting men to the extent it affects women.

Why I am only mentioning the Chainsaw Man figurines, which from what I've seen are sold by none other than Crunchyroll itself, and not the other merchandise of h*ntai characters and whatnot is because Chainsaw Man is getting more main stream as more chapters get released.

What's your opinion on this? Are these pieces of merchandise really encouraging certain people and make them feel they have the right to behave in creepy and lewd ways or do they hold no significance in this situations?

[misc-obeyme]

Forgetful MC

I wanted to try writing something in this style, as head canons with all the brothers. So here it is!

I am crazy forgetful, so I felt like writing how the bros would deal with an MC who is forgetful and/or absent minded. Maybe I'll do the dateables, too? Haven't decided yet.

GN!MC

Warnings: MC is forgetful. These are all things I personally struggle with, so it's pretty self indulgent. Tried to keep it gender neutral. Might be some ADHD symptoms too as I have that as well. Mentions of forgetting to eat. I think that's it though. Please let me know if I should add something here.

Lucifer

Gets annoyed with you at first. Why can’t you seem to keep track of things, MC? Important things are forgotten just as easily as unimportant ones and he doesn’t understand.

Eventually figures out that you can’t help it. It isn’t that you don’t care, it’s just that your brain doesn’t work that way.

Lucifer becomes your personal calendar. Starts sending you texts to remind you of important dates and upcoming meetings. Will send you a text the day before everyone’s birthday, even his and your own, just so you don’t forget.

Keeps a little basket that he puts all your forgotten items in when he finds them around the house. Gives them all back to you once a week. Secretly pleased at your delight when you find something in the pile you were looking for earlier.

Mammon

Figures out pretty quickly how absent minded you are. He’s always asking you if you’ve got your essentials - did you remember your D.D.D.? Got your textbooks, backpack/purse, etc? In the beginning, he complains about it a lot, but eventually it just becomes routine.

Brings extras of things to class and other places in case you do forget something. Need a pencil because you left yours on your desk back in the House of Lamentation? Left all your money sitting on your bed for some reason? He’s got you covered. You better be grateful, MC!

Reminds you of things you need when you go shopping. If you mentioned to him once that you need something, he’ll remember it even if it’s days later. You don’t need a shopping list, you’ve got Mammon.

Discovers that you will get lost easily because you can’t remember how to get places. He knows if you go somewhere new or somewhere you haven’t been to recently, chances are high that you’ll get lost. To prevent you from wandering aimlessly for hours, he won’t let you go anywhere alone.

Leviathan

Your forgetfulness becomes apparent to him when you can’t remember the plot of an anime you watched together a few weeks ago. It’s okay, MC, he’ll re-watch all the episodes with you to refresh your memory!

Anytime you spend hours in his room gaming or marathoning something, he checks to be sure you haven’t left anything behind when you finally leave. If you did, he will put the lost items in Lucifer’s basket.

Loves when you ask him a question about one of the items in his collection even if he’s already told you about it before. Levi is happy to tell you all about it as many times as you need!

Is a little baffled when you turn out to be really good at remembering specific things - like song lyrics, character relationships, and his personal opinions on different things. He finds it really endearing.

Satan

Realizes you have trouble remembering certain things right away. Figures out what you’re good at remembering and what you struggle with. He’s going to be your study buddy, MC. You need one to help make sure you remember the important things.

Due to studying with you, Satan knows that you’re not as forgetful as you seem. You actually retain information really well and have no problem with most tests.

Similar to how Levi figures out that you can’t remember anime plots, Satan discovers that you will forget the plots of novels, too. If you’re reading a series of novels together, he will give you summaries of the first books that you’ve already read. This way you don’t have to re-read the whole series when a new installment comes out.

He’s thrilled when you remember the name of every cat he’s ever introduced you to, whether it’s a Devildom stray or one that lives in a cat cafe.

Asmodeus

Of course Asmo is the one who realizes that you forget to take care of yourself. Takes the time to figure out your morning routine only to discover that there is no routine. Sometimes you remember to brush your hair, sometimes you don’t.

Things can’t go on like this, MC. He makes you a list of things you need to remember to do and tapes it to your bathroom mirror. There’s a morning and an evening edition. He’s lucky if you do a third of the list, but hey it’s better than the sporadic things you were doing before.

Will check your products to make sure you aren’t running low because you will forget to buy more before you run out. Will just buy the things you need for you while getting his own.

Regularly goes through your closet to rearrange your clothes. If you put clothes in the back of the closet, you forget they exist. He rotates them for you to keep your wardrobe fresh.

Beelzebub

And Beel is naturally the one who figures out that you sometimes forget to eat. He asks you regularly throughout the day if you’ve eaten anything recently. If you haven’t, he makes you come with him to find food.

Asks if you’ve eaten every morning before leaving the house because breakfast is the meal you seem to forget most often. Breakfast is important, MC.

Knows that sometimes you forget to do things like go outside or move around. Will make sure you go on a walk with him every day.

On days when you don’t have anything planned, Beel will take you out to eat because he knows that you’ll forget to eat at all if you don’t have a schedule of some kind. The instant he suggests it, you realize you’re starving and will agree immediately because wow you really need food this second you don’t care where he takes you.

Belphegor

Belphie doesn’t understand why all his brothers seem to think you’re forgetful. You always seem to know exactly where he left his pillow whenever he asks you. What are they even talking about, MC?

Reality is that your memory is incredibly selective and for some reason, you can never forget the location of a cow print pillow.

Pretty good at helping you to remember what you came into a random room for. If you pause after walking in and look confused, he'll ask you the right questions to get you to remember why you're there.

If Lucifer just put an item in your basket, he’ll take it out and leave it somewhere random. Has you hide in the room with him so you can giggle together when Lucifer finds the object and gets confused and/or irritated.

masterlist | part 2 with side characters | Thank you for reading!

[fulcrum-art-fox]

“Hello? Is anybody there? Can you hear me?”

Jedi over comms: “Identify yourself.”

“My name is -”

Might be an inconsequential thing to get hung up on, but I am curious: what name was she going to give?

First impulse, probably Osha’s. Would make the most sense, that’s the identity she’s assuming, that what she’s been trying to sell all episode, it’s the thing the Jedi are more likely to expect, definitely the safest thing to say. Except the scene that immediately preceded it and what happens to break her off mid sentence makes me wonder

As @midnight-melancholiaaa pointed out, the scene that immediately precedes this is the one in which it is likely that Sol figured out that she was Mae, and not Osha (the analysis is great and you should totally go read it). So if we’re to assume that, then for the rest of the conversation Sol knows he’s talking to Mae, but Mae doesn’t realise that the game is up, and so keeps pushing, under the guise of the questions being Osha’s, and she asks “Have you told me everything that happened on Brendok?” a very carefully phrased question. Sol’s answer, “You were very young,” is noncommittal and negative. Mae presses for an answer, and there’s a moment in which he steps toward her, like he’s about to speak, like he’s about to tell her. And then the power comes back on, and the moment passes. He isn’t going to tell her. And Mae sneers and storms away, angrily. She storms right up to the bridge, where she immediately calls the Jedi, of her own initiative and volition, and begins a dialogue. And before she can introduce herself, Sol stuns her, cuts off the transmission and jumps the ship away

Now this is a very long winded way of saying that I totally think there’s the distinct possibility she was gonna introduce herself as Mae, but I totally think there’s the distinct possibility she was gonna introduce herself as Mae

As to why Mae might want to call the Jedi as herself, I have no clear idea, Mae’s actions have been continually unexpected, but given that she did very seriously entertain the idea of handing herself over to the Jedi in order to achieve something a few episodes ago, she might have been intending to rat Sol out to the other Jedi. The revenge vs justice thing has already been raised, and so far Mae has been very firmly on the revenge end, but in this case, the event that immediately preceding the call was Sol disappointing her, reaffirming her attitude towards him. He says he intends to fess up to the council but I don’t imagine for a second Mae believes he will. It doesn’t appear, to her in this moment, that he’ll even tell her what happened (honey you’ve got a rough storm coming), why should she believe he’ll tell his superiors, after sixteen years of keeping the secret? So she might well out herself and take him down with her, what does she have left, really? Try and force him to face up to justice. But who knows. There’s always been a certain amount of mental gymnastics required to keep up with what Mae considers good decision making. As for Sol, by this point, as many have pointed out, he wants to go after Osha, and he doesn’t want the Jedi telling him to wait for anything, and “oh Mae Aniseya, the Jedi killer, is onboard the ship” is absolutely the kind of information that, if reported, would have the Jedi telling him not to go anywhere under any circumstances. If he was worried she was going to introduce herself under her real name, bog him down in official Jedi procedure rather than get to Osha as fast as possible, that would be further reason for him to stun her, not just that he’s identified her as a dangerous imposter, but to prevent that information getting out

Anyway, sorry for the long post, just thought it was an interesting little detail

[melvisik]

OFMD S2 SPOILERS

Warning: This post contains non-explicit, brief implications of sexual assault/harassment and invasion of personal space. The subject of consent is delicate and complex and I am no expert, so if any information/opinions in this post are evaluated to be erroneous, seem careless, or cause too much controversy, this post will be deleted and apologies given.

Constructive criticism is welcome.

This post is essentially just a bunch of stating the obvious and taking in the observations of the fandom, but just want to emphasize and reiterate: Not that anyone would imagine (canonically-speaking anyway) that Stede would force or manipulate Ed into anything, but one of the loveliest parts of this scene…

…is that Stede stops when Ed tells him to stop with no sense of hurt, indignation, or bewilderment. "Yeah, sorry, I didn't...I was...thinking...no, I know."

Since the scene aired, there's been an explosion of suggestions and analyses of just what Stede had been thinking during that kiss. There's the most common assumption - of course he frickin wants this beautiful, incredible man whom he loves and who loves him back. It goes without saying that (as far as we know) Stede more than likely has only shared physical intimacy with Mary, someone he is at least fond of but clearly was never in love with. Assuming he is a person who desires and enjoys this kind of thing (and we already knows Ed does), he now has the opportunity to share it with someone he loves and adores, and by god is he ready for it. (Plus, he is all about dropping a lot of the 'gentlemanly' qualities now. Guy is kinda running off a 'successful pirate captaining' high this evening.)

But according to the fandom, his eagerness could be attributed to a couple additional reasons. First of all, he must assume Ed wants to move in this direction. Ed was ready to throw his pirate life away to run off with him to China, moving their relationship forward immediately. That's Ed's pace, Stede thinks, and now that Stede is on board and damn certain of his feelings, he might as well go with Ed's flow (kind of tossing his whole 'whim' speech out the window). He (Stede) is also game, so why not? Also, the last time Ed and Stede kissed, Stede later ran off to Mary (yes, we all know he was really kidnapped, dressed down, and retraumatized, but he still hasn't divulged that to Ed). So perhaps now with this kiss, Stede is trying to reassure Ed that he's not going anywhere this time. This time, he is all in. Another thing to consider is Anne Bonny's almost disparaging inquiry and the subsequent mockery...

As if sexual activity is the signifying feature of a romantic relationship (it isn't). So perhaps there's a modicum of pressure being felt on Stede's part here as well.

However, Con O'Niell once expressed in a panel that 'sex is sex on that ship' and love is another matter. Blackbeard has had sex before, passionate encounters, dalliances if you will... But Edward wants it to be different with Stede, something he considers might make it much deeper (and what's more, he's just not ready). So he pulls back. To state the obvious - not engaging in any form of physical intimacy is totally fine, just as passion for passion's sake (or occasionally using it as a way to express love) is totally fine; there are many different, wonderful flavors of relationships. But even the most dynamic of them has boundaries that are not to be crossed and there are agreements to be established beforehand, even with whims. At the very minimum, everyone involved should be staying safe, have personal autonomy, know explicitly what they are signing up for, and not have any kind of outside influence affect their ability to consent (if they want to give it). So, whatever the case, it's important to note is that the moment Stede feels Ed pull away, noticing that hand on his shoulder, an area of his body that Ed has always affectionally punched or patted…

…he reads Ed's signal and he stops.

And Ed doesn't apologize, he doesn't need to. Stede waits and listens and immediately accepts that he got a little too passionate and that Ed isn't ready for that yet.

To use a classic Youtube video comparison - Stede offered tea, Ed said no thanks/not right now, and that was that. But this analogy isn't exclusively applied to just sexual or intimate activity; Stede might not have even been asking for sex here. But in all relationships (whether romantic, work-related, familial, etc.) consent just to be touched in certain ways is granted differently depending on the relationship and what the involved parties agree to. This can stand out particularly in romantic pairings because the partners involved are often given permission touch more or differently than outside entities. Take for example a pair of classic scenes in the first season - it's been frequently pointed out that Ed's reaction to Antoinette invasion of his personal space…

…was violently different than when Stede waited for permission to touch his beard...

Or (going back to more intimate touches) Stede's reaction to Anne Bonny's assault...

It’s a stark contrast to how he wants to pull Ed closer. Quite frankly, if a person hasn't given you permission to touch them in intimate areas (or in most cases anywhere), you DO NOT touch them. Some may think it's daring or somehow seductive to ignore that, but it absolutely is not. Stede currently has some permission to touch Ed, but he can only go so far. Ed has boundaries and Stede should respect them. And of course, the same applies to Ed in regards to Stede. No matter how you look at it, Ed did kinda blindside Stede with that kiss...

In this case, it turned out fairly ok since Stede did in fact reciprocate Ed's feelings and responded positively (which Ed gradually gauged during the kiss)...

...but it was a surprise kiss nevertheless, and Ed's later proposal ultimately ended up leaving Stede in a bit of a panic. But now, consider that moonlight scene. We've all seen it, it's been shouted from the fandom rooftops. In these first beginning steps of their romantic relationship, both tentatively get closer until each gives his own silent consent…

This time, while Stede is willing to go farther, Ed isn't, as he's taking Stede's words to heart and trying not to move too fast again. And Stede seems to already respects those boundaries. Early on when he calls Ed out from purgatory...

...he doesn't devour Ed's mouth to try and 'smooch him out of it' like some Snow White or Sleepy Beauty fairytale. He knows he's probably not on the best terms with Ed right now and he isn't in a position to be giving Ed passionate kisses. Instead, he grabs Ed's hand and tries to guide him back. From Ed's end in the mermaid vision, MerStede never touches Ed and Ed never touches him. They draw closer slowly, tenderly, and together...

All relationships are different, but it seems the kind Ed and Stede are going for here hasn't exactly been established on the best footing, even though both know their love is reciprocated. Ed knows this. Stede knows this. It's totally ok to go slow if that's what someone needs (not stringing along now, that's different.) So for now, THIS is enough...

No hand snaking around the waist or the shoulders (a move Ed made with their first kiss). Just the feel of one another's palm in the other, the weight of each other's hand relaying all their mutual love and support. A sweet, beautiful show of respect and consideration, and it is much appreciated. P.S. Plus this is just so friggin cute...

...oh my god, these two...

[awrkive]

r we getting tlp3 anytime soon 😖😖😖

anon asked: Could you please give us a little tiny spoiler about tlp pt.3?🥹🫶🏻

hi first anon! no i dont think i can give u guys a date yet. im actually currently joining an architectural competition at uni so thats keeping me a bit busier than usual, but i am writing tlp 3 during my breaks so ... thats that. ANYWHO. i will make sure to update u guys when its ready to be out!

anyways, to second anon. a tiny spoiler under the cut proceed if u wanna.. 🤓

You’re pretty much drained the moment you arrive at your place.

Sighing heavily, you punch in the passcode and almost feel your knees buckling at the sight of the interior of your apartment when the door opens.

It feels like it’s been so long since you’ve been here, and coupled with the discussion that you had with Doyeon two days ago, everything suddenly feels overstimulating and there’s a certain burn at the sides of your eyes that urges you to cry. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you breathe in and out as you enter the threshold, noting the fact that anybody is not home. Or Jungkook isn’t present anywhere in the living room. You’re a bit grateful for that if you have to be honest to yourself – after all, the last time that you talked to him, it did not exactly go as well as you’d like. 

He could be in his room, though. That’s what you assume as you go straight over to the kitchen in hopes to heat up the take-out that you bought at the driveway. But the to-go container from Chipotle at the island catches your attention, as well as the laptop that is left open beside it. 

So Jungkook is home. 

The question is, where could he possibly be, leaving out his stuff here in the kitchen? Might be in his bedroom to grab something real quick? 

You don’t mean to do the next thing that comes to your mind, but your feet – your stupid feet – track back from the microwave to the island, and your eyes betray you as they go look and read the words on Jungkook’s macbook. 

The tab that's left open shows an apartment listing website, and the following tabs beside it are some familiar real-estate names you’ve come to visit on the internet before when you were looking for a place yourself.

It makes you freeze in your spot, eyes glued to the daunting images of the apartment layout that Jungkook must’ve clicked on awhile ago, and you take note that he’s seemingly, specifically, looking for one-bedroom and studio apartments. 

Your mind goes into a sudden haywire at the sight. 

What does this mean? 

“Oh, hey,”

The embodied voice makes your head snap to its direction, and you see Jungkook standing in front of you in his sweats and shirt – his usual home clothes – with a charger in his hand. 

“Jungkook.” You say, or more like, breathe out. There's a heavy feeling that sits in your heart when you look at his face – but most of all, it beats a little above normal.

But Jungkook looks just as surprised as you. 

“I… I didn’t know you’re coming ho– back.” He says, and you feel a sudden twinge inside that you ignore when you caught him pointedly avoiding the word home when pertaining to your place. Somehow, it felt intentional.

But you give him a smile. Probably a weak one. Probably doesn’t really look like a smile at all and more like a grimace.

If Jungkook notices, he doesn’t say anything. Just goes straight to the direction of the high chairs on the island and plug in his charger on his laptop. 

Then, he turns to look at you. “Uh.. you just got off from your shift?” 

“Uhm, yeah. You too?” You say, nibbling your bottom lip with your teeth. A nervous habit. 

“Nah, got off a few hours ago.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“Yeah.” 

You nod your head. You stand there for a while, letting the silence that’s admittedly awkward hang in the air. 

It’s weird, really. Jungkook and you usually have a lot to say to each other – but right now, there doesn’t seem to be a single thing that you can bring up.

There's a certain kind of melancholy in the case. 

“Well, uhm. That’s Zillow.” You say, pointing to his laptop. The moment the words left your lips you swear you could have slapped yourself. 

How stupid to ask him about it. How incredibly stupid for that thing to be your choice of topic after weeks of no proper communication with him. 

Jungkook seems just as taken aback by this, though, turning his head immediately to look at his laptop. There’s a slight jerk in his movements when he glides his fingers across the trackpad that closes the entire window of the internet and shows his PC wallpaper instead. 

“Oh. Yeah. That was… Zillow.” 

Stupid, stupid you makes everything even more awkward when you say, “You’re looking for a place?” 

Jungkook stares at you for awhile. There’s a pregnant pause, and then he nods his head. A bit hesitant. But his voice is full when he speaks. 

“Yeah.” 

So he’s moving out. That’s what you think as you avoid looking at his face, letting your gaze fall back on his laptop.

You give him a small smile. 

“Ah. Good luck with the search, then.”

Your hope you hide the way your heart completely breaks when you say the words. 

[ouatsqincorrect]

hey i saw your headcanons about david/snow/regina and i was wondering if you have any about regina and coras mother/daughter relationship and/or regina and rumples twisted father/daughter/mentor relationship

sure! (but a real quick disclaimer: if you like cora, don’t read this. if you think rumple did not harm regina in any way, don’t read this. do not get mad at me for having my own opinions on them, please and thank you) ALSO tw for abuse.

i am a firm believer in the fact that regina needs therapy. this woman has been through hell and back and you can’t convince me that forgiving herself in 6x14 was all it took to “move on” from everything

she starts going to archie, even though it’s not ideal. (he’s still the only therapist in town and one day, regina will fix this, but for now he’s the only option she’s got) and she begins to work through her past for the first time

this involves accepting that cora harmed her much more than she’s ever been able to admit to herself

she still feels like she’s forgiven her, but forgiving your abuser doesn’t take away the years of trauma they caused

this goes the same for rumple. he may be an actual member of her family now, but he did manipulate her when she was just 18 and broke her down until he could use her to do his bidding (not to mention the whole “no one will ever love you” and “you’re weak when you’re not evil” mindset he introduced to her)

cora is gone. regina has to deal with that trauma without her because there is no bringing cora back, but rumple is still here

and he’s an active part of her life in a very different way then he used to be

rumple never becomes a hero, not really, but he’s also no longer a villain and even though he’s not necessarily getting any professional help anywhere like regina is, he is learning how to articulate his thoughts about his past and what he did

and rumple, just like regina, is willing to admit there are some people who are never going to be able to forgive him and that’s ok

he knows he hurt regina. he’s always known that. even back in the EF, he knew what he was doing to her was wrong

which is why when they actually end up being a part of the same family, he doesn’t pressure her to forgive him or start treating him like they’ve been good friends forever

instead, he shows he cares for her in little ways. he’ll magic over some coffee on rainy days because he knows regina hates when the weather’s bad or he’ll put an extra protection spell around her house when there’s a villain in town because even though he knows she can take care of herself, he still wants to protect her (and henry and emma)

they never talk about these things he does and rumple knows they probably never will

also, he never touches regina without her permission. (i can go on for years about how regina feels about close contact with each member of her family but anyway)

more so than almost anyone else, he understands what she went through back during her “marriage” to the king and he refuses to break any boundaries she might have

(this is different than what happened between him and the evil queen. and he regrets that immensely)

regina, for her part, knows rumple is trying and although she’s certain a part of her will always be a little pissed at him, she does slowly start to forgive him

they never won’t butt heads though. there will always be a lot of unnecessary sass between them but that’s just who they are as people and they both know that, at the end of the day, they’re there for each other if they need it

[championofravens]

My problem with Risen doesn't even start with Crow, it starts with Saladin's story and his little "moral." He's asked to stop a thief (when thieving was punishable by death), finds that a little girl was the culprit, and shows her mercy. Good.

But all he does is give her an extremely vague platitude before slaughtering her "caretakers," then goes on his merry way.

Mercy wasn't the problem in this situation, because people do deserve second chances! Things could have turned out differently if he'd put slightly more effort in, because ultimately the only thing he gave to her was a moral compass that said might makes right and something vague about wolves.

He left a literal child to fend for herself during one of humanity's darkest ages and had the audacity to call that mercy simply because he didn't kill her. How am I supposed to take this seriously as a moral lesson?

So, I read this aloud to my husband in the car during a drive. As soon as I finished, he told me he completely I agreed. I told him he was stupid. But we hashed it out for a good chunk of the drive and I really felt like we nailed some new points of contention with Bungee overall.

1. You *are* right. Both in recalling the canon events and the logical frustration of Saladin's actions. Because yeah. Why didn't he save that little girl? Why didn't he take her... anywhere else? Do anything else? Why were the only paths he saw before him to kill her or leave her? And that's when my husband relayed his frustration to me of Destiny's recent dichotomy issue in storytelling. Nothing rests outside it. The story presents a good option and a bad option which must be taken urgently over and over again with little desire to consider third options. Further more, we both agreed it would have been MUCH more in character for Saladin to have done something else! Something much more helpful! And this is an issue with has infected every aspect of Destiny's seasonal storytelling since (imo, it's most obvious with how Eramis is treated in the seasons that come after)

2. So, why did I disagree so strongly when I read your ask the first time? Yeah I'm a Saladin enjoyer but I'm also terminally INTJ pilled. I bow to logic and canon. I think my issue was that I felt it was... cheating. To even put forth the idea that Saladin could have done something else. Because the dichotomy. If you question any bit of seasonal storytelling with "why not just do something else?" a lot falls apart really fast. It's like watching a romcom and pointing out the obvious miscommunication. You are not WRONG but I feel like if you enjoy Destiny at all, you have to suspend your belief in certain ways or you start to pick at too many threads. Unravelling the tapestry.

3. But back on track- if you are right, if you are saying that the real moral was "Saladin failed in continuing the violent cycle of might makes right"

.......

THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT?

What does that have to do with mind reading Hive Guardians. What does Saladin failing a human child by adhering to barbaric justice have to do with Crow bumbling his way into killing a guy so he can turn off a machine? What does this moral have to do with Season of the Risen??? What was the fucking point of any of this. I'm tired.

4. This still proves Saladin shoulda just killed her, hilariously. Like yeah you've convinced me what he did was fucked up. Shame third choices don't exist in Destiny. GUESS SHE'S GOTTA GO!!!!!

[spawnofdeath]

Item: A Diary

Item found in the ruins of a smaller wooden building, likely a temporary shelter constructed after the event that caused most of the destruction.

Item is a small book bound in calf leather with copper detailing attached to both covers. Corner detailing appears to depict flowering vines of some kind in the upper corners, flames in the lower corners. Center of the front cover shows a stag head, with remains of black enamel on antlers and eyes.

Book appears to be a diary.

Heavily damaged by the elements, few pages remain legible.

First legible entry far towards the back, apparently written after the disaster, transcribed:

"Three days since the earth stopped shaking. We are still just picking up the pieces, both figuratively and literally. We are hoping to make time to bury Mother and Father tomorrow, as the Mausoleum luckily still stands.

Scott is taking it badly. I don't know what to do to help him. We two are now responsible for the kingdom of Rivendell, but I am unsure he is in a fit state to take this responsibility, and I cannot for certain take it on my own. It was never meant to be just one of us. We are twins, we were born to rule together. I need my brother's help. I cannot do it alone. But it seems he cannot do it at all.

We had a fight about it earlier today. We've never had such a bad fight before. I don't know what to do. I love him, I do not wish to lose him. He is all the family I now have left. Even just in general, twins shouldn't separate, it's bad luck. We rule together, or we don't rule. I cannot do it alone.

Later.

I may have to do it alone. I was going to end this entry after the last sentence, but at dinner, Scott and I fought again. He isn't taking well my attempts to comfort him. He thinks I am letting go of it too easily. He thinks I do not care. I don't know how to convince him that I am just trying to do what's best for us, what's best for everyone! I don't know what to tell him. He thinks we should not rule together. He might not be wrong. It might be time to break tradition.

I need to talk to him about it more tomorrow, when both our heads are hopefully more clear, but I am exhausted. I have not been sleeping well, but I will have to try."

Several pages after this are fused by mold and turned illegible.

The next, and apparently last entry, only partially legible, transcribed:

"[...] writing this, most of my belongings are already packed up, and I and the ones willing to follow me are ready to leave by tomorrow, as are Scott and his followers. We will not be going in the same direction. I [several words illegible] leave this diary behind, as a record of our fate and plans to those who may come to this place after we have left.

Rivendell is in ruins, and if Scott and I will not rule it together, there is no point in rebuilding here rather than anywhere else. It makes no difference.

I, Xornoth, first of my name, King of Summer, Champion of Exor, am leaving with the ones who trust me to seek fortune in far places and found my own kingdom separate from that of my brother, Scott, first of his name, King of Winter, Champion of Aeor. We likely will not meet again. I try not to grieve that fact. I do not believe there is room in my heart for more grief.

Best of Luck, little Brother. May Aeor guide you and your people well."

Thoughts and theories:

What to even say here? What a thing to have just read. Need to speak to Xornoth about this urgently. We had been talking about gaps in our memories, of course, but to have forgotten something this important? I have to tell him. I have to show them this.

Other than that, again mentions of Exor and Aeor. Names that seem to come up a lot. Gods? Summer and Winter. Fire and Ice. Stag motives again, as well.