#(it paints a kinda sad picture imo)

[dykedragonrider]

Finished Crymachina and I am so sad that a game that a game with that compelling of characters is attached to the most 4/10 action game I have ever played. It's like if Nier Automata was for formerly religious lesbians. Like. The gameplay is incredibly shallow and there are some important mechanics (backstabs doing more damage being the biggest example imo) that really feel like they shoulda been telegraphed better, you can just one button through the entire game, the scaling is fucked for damage and ExP, there's a lot wrong with it on a pure systemic level. The level design is also bad but in a way that I think adds to the narrative so. I will let that one go. The characters and their relationships are the real meat of this game IMO and that's mostly what I wanna focus on. The game is about lesbians, and they're both tropey and have legitimate depth? The plot takes a backseat for the most part, which is fine. It's not a particularly strong plot but it's good enough where it counts to work for its purposes. I guess first on the agenda is looking at Leben and Enoa, our protagonists? While the story mostly follows Leben, Enoa is the character the game is most *about* in actuality.

Enoa runs the Imitation Garden, AKA Eden. It's the main hub for everything, and she acts as the caretaker of both it and the E.V.E., because it's also where she lives. Having been broken down twice, the game is about her reconstruction and recovery on two levels, and I do think this is something the game's use of the Kabbalah adds to. As you unlock the levels in game, the main "nodes" you access are all named for the different sefirot of the Tree Of Life. As Enoa develops, you progress the Kabbalah. I think the fact that the game's main ending cuts off at Hod does undermine its use a little, but the sefirot of Malkuth, Yesod, and Netzach are also used in ways postgame that are clever, so I'll let it slide. Enoa is deeply caring, putting everyone above herself. She is earnest, incredibly emotional, and seeks to transcend her machinehood. She routinely invalidates herself and her experiences, given the fact she isn't an authentic human, because she has so much love for humanity.

To contrast that, is Leben. The first E.V.E. we get to see, and to some degree our player surrogate, but that's a role passed around and abandoned as needed, she just plays it the most given how she introduces us to the game. Leben is grounded, prone to flights of fancy but then often backtracking them upon realizing the full consequences of her actions. She resents humanity, and adores machines. Notably, Leben, unlike the other E.V.E., wasn't actually born out of Enoa simulating humanity. Leben was, at one point, Propator, but she's also not that person any more.

It's kinda hard to sell the dynamics in this game because well, it's their execution that carries it, but I still wanna paint the best picture I can. Leben and Enoa's relationship is very much them being lovey dovey, partially because they're fresh to it (I don't subscribe to the honeymoon phase as an idea, I think they're just figuring stuff out somewhat still), and partially because they're aware of their circumstances and are living their lives to the fullest despite that. There's a lot of care for one another in it, and their dreams are shared and centered around mutual joy for each other. It's very much a love that's still finding its feet, but the feelings they have do a lot of the heavy lifting.

For starting the other pair, we have Mikoto. A bona fide badass who values her appearance incredibly strongly. Not in a physical or vein way necessarily, she just values being cool a lot. She loves film as a medium, and likes ribbing other people, as well as sardonic jokes. Mikoto also speaks with her actions rather than her words consistently. She doesn't like being emotionally honest in words, despite the fact she also wears her heart on her sleeve. To contrast, Ami is a sweetheart. She's very cute and flowery in all she does, and is completely devoted to her family of the other three girls, but especially Mikoto who she consistently states her adoration for. She's also axe crazy as hell and is represented as an oni in her battle attire. Gap moe out the ass, basically. Ami also has to be wanted. If she can't be useful, she feels like she has no purpose. This, notably, isn't tied to her being in a wheelchair in her past life, but tied to her relationship with her family. Feels like a bare minimum thing but it still feels important to mention.

Ami and Mikoto don't ever label their relationship, but it doesn't matter because what they are is clear enough, maybe a little less to Ami given some of her anxieties, but you can know very easily. They've shared their existences in all the ways that matter, and at that point a label is set dressing. They've promised to spend eternity and a day together. They're like an old couple in how they talk and interact with the pair of Leben and Enoa, and it's super sweet.

Typing this I realize that I can't find the words to say what I want to say about this as well as I want to, because there's just a lot that I feel is done not through being able to communicate it, but the experience of it? Either way, the point is it's good. I just wish that the good relationship dynamics we have weren't attached to a middling action game that only goes on sale for 10% off and costs $60.

[pinkandgreenarepurpleandyellow]

Presenting the project that made me heterophobic:

Yep! I am the dork that painted the masks of our current five boys over the course of three-four days (easier to space than six would be and lets face it, I do not care for kurlzz). I chose the Notes from the Underground masks because I've realized that it's the album that most of my favorite songs thus far come from. I quickly began regretting my decision at the point where I realized exactly how limited my paint options were and how many cool colors I would need. More details for each mask below (going bottom to top).

Danny's mask looks almost nothing like the actual one mostly because I painted the circles first and did not realize the mask was more angular than I initially thought. I also had no gold, so we've got a lovely yellow mixed with tan for the base color. The bullets are rough but also smaller than you'd think and a basic brush set from Michaels does not, as I have learned, have super tiny brushes, so I did the best I could on the casings. I am proud of the fact that I tried to make the rust work as best as I could, and if you look really closely, you can even see the mesh in the eyes (looks a little clearer on the left eye). The smirk is present on the right side and I do think it's decently recognizable.

This one made me cry. Any criticism of the fire around the eyes will be met with the response to suck dick because, to be quite frank, I challenge anyone to do better at 1 am and remain disturbingly proud of them. I'm kinda sad that my green (mixed from blue and yellow, because my budget is two pennies and all previous supplies) dried up early cause I was hoping to get more of the Louis Vuitton-style details, but still pretty damn good. I think the pyramid and the canisters turned out nice. Also, a little bit of a cat-eye shape for the eyeholes and the fire, but that was deliberate and I will not be ashamed of it in my moment of pride (I will undoubtedly feel the shame within five minutes of posting, but that is a problem for future me).

A fun an interesting fact is that this is the second time I've done this particular mask of J3T, and both times I have realized I love doing the butterfly. It's super fun because as long as we get the basic swirls in, it's alright if they don't match length perfectly. The cracks are slightly off because the very first ones were free-handed, but I did my best to get the rest of them proper, and they even work to form the nose. Apparently the orange looks more yellow than I thought.

This one was a welcome relief after crying over the detailing of J-Dog's mask. Again, no metallic colors, so our silver is grey. The little black lines are there to add texture to the edges (as it turns out, none of my brushes added it in a sufficiently noticeable way), and this one looks the cleanest imo.

Last but not least, Charlie's bandanna (sunglasses painted over because, as it turns out, I continue to suck at painting and drawing glasses). The buildings are likely not accurate to the actual picture, but my reference photo did not show the actual city on the bandana so I just did some buildings, a fancy lil' LA and we're calling it an artistic interpretation. Also, check out that S. Coolest S I will ever draw in my life, got it right on the first try.

Anyways sorry that I didn't post this sooner cause I technically finished all of this yesterday evening, I have a flight soon so I am typing this up at 4:30 am at the airport.

(Tagging @vampswillhurtyou and @cutelittlenightmarethings cause both of you said you were interested and I have no idea whether or not this will show up in the main tags.)

Final pic to show what it looks like at a slight distance and with other object to provide scale. Note the paint palette thingy having 3 shades of grey in it because, again, shoestring budget and persistence substitute everything for us.

[doyouknowthemossinman]

okay someone asked me frfr for the RGB/Bad Suns song picks so HERE I GO ( @goosemagician i am forever in your debt !!!!!!)

i talk way too much so erm. BE WARNED, HERE BE WORDS

We Move Like the Ocean from Language and Perspective

The entire first verse of this song is literally RGB's headspace during Cut to, Greenlight, Dissolve, and Iris imo. like "I've been painting pictures in my head and falling short / Losing my direction, turn me around" THAT'S HIM AND MADRAS OK!!! HE'S SO SAD

The second verse is very much his weird not-his-death dreams. I just felt like is was kinda fitting? Maybe he's talking to Hate here? (The "didn't you used to dance" face and Hate's face in his flashback are the SAME has anyone talked about this yet)

To me the chorus is his relationship with Hero as it develops. They've got kind of a rhythm going now, they kinda know how the other works, they are getting closer emotionally hahaha, but RGB literally and figuratively can't swim. He's not as emotionally available as Hero needs him to be. Even the "anymore" on the end of that line implies that he has bonded with people like that in the past (at least romantically if i'm interpreting light entertainment as canon? it's canon right??) but he can't for Hero. Yet.

Even in my Dreams, I Can't Win from Disappear Here

Honestly this entire song is just him and I can SEE a little animatic in my head but I'll try to explain

The first verse feels like what his nights are like without a hero to guide, those inbetweens when he has to find the gall to get back up to the Inbetween (ha) and find another keyframe.

The pre-chorus and chorus is just his cycle of finding heroes and failing time and time again. rip.

The bridge feels like him getting frustrated and overwhelmed at his not-death nightmares and trying to explain them to Hero and this is all he comes up with lol. It's not even entirely accurate but I think he would at least try and explain them to her eventually.

Away We Go from Mystic Truth

honestly this one's kind of just an adventuring song!! Maybe cutting between his time with Magnus and some of the heroes? or just Hero? It feels simple to me and I kinda just picked it to have one song from each album lmao. BUT IT ALSO APPLIES I would never disrespect Mystic Truth like that

Life Was Easier When I Only Cared About Me from Apocalypse Whenever

This is basically "determined little ball of sunshine worms her way into a monster's non-existent heart" the song. Like the Iris through Flood era. Like "how does this little girl keep violently pulling her forcefully-adopted dad out of his depression"

First verse is sad dad!!!! I know "My thoughts came flooding in / I started to drown" relates to the title of Flood and he has come close to being drowned like twice, but it's more like that vaguely suicidal moment he has after Madras pushes him backward??? BABE ARE U OKAY

"Lit my own fuse, I could not blow it out / I was strapped to a rocket aimed right at the ground" is definitely one of their arguments/genuine heartbreaking fights but it'S OK THEY STILL LOVE EACH OTHER

AND THE CHORUS OH MY GOD. He realizes how much Hero really means to him and is just SO mad about it. Okay not mad but like!! He wasn't supposed to get attached and now here he is!!!! Also IF at the end of the story RGB turns back into a human (that's a theory people have right) "I had no reason to breathe / Until you knocked the wind out of me" IS GOING TO BE SO LITERAL OH MY GODDDD (I don't personally think that's where we're going but it would be sooooo niceeee andmy songs would work so well for thaaat)

Anyway!!! Thank you for making it to the end!! As a prize you get more song recs because GOD he literally is just Bad Suns to me

Okay wait actually, bonus Thoughts because i'm listening to L&P again, Salt is like if he ever got a weird dysphoria after becoming a monster??? IF THAT EVEN HAPPENED??? Mirror mention and my brain went insane sorry. "These memories are nothing to me, just salt" mans literally SOLD his so like. IT'S RELEVANT. idk please go listen to Salt it's so trans

Most of Language and Perspective (the album not just the song) is pretty relevant to him but that may just be my bias getting in the way lol. Cardiac Arrest, Dancing on Quicksand, and Salt would be my number ones but I'm so for real please go listen to the whole album

Disappear Here also has bangers but so far the only other song I can relate to this mess of a man is Defeated.

One Magic Moment is him and Hero for sureee but it's just a vibe, other than the first lines i don't have any deeper thoughts lol. Love By Mistake is also him idk.

Unstable is his denial song i think <3 babes is not okay

Most of Apocalypse Whenever is so happy in a genuine way, while TV boy here is happy in a fake way. Maybe it'll apply more by the end of the story but for now nothing really fits. EXCEPT FOR ELECTRIC CIRCUS AAAAHHH??? hOW COULD I FORGET. "Crushed by a tidal wave of lies an shame" OKAY GIRL. anyway never thought i'd tell you that the album with a PVRIS feature is too happy but here we are

The Infinite Joy EP is SO GOOD guys. Living or Dying is vaguely RGB-vibey? Maybe Astral Plans as well but it's very loose.

OK FOR REAL GO FORTH AND BECOME BAD SUNS FANS

[importantcherryblossommentality]

so since i got triggered by yk learning about a certain mha character being "redeemed" or whatever i wanted to actually find out the most i could about it to form my own opinion which led to me analyzing and looking at stuff (mostly other analysises and stuff just because the direct source stuff is still triggering for some reason jaja) and i'm just blown away (( mha lore rant ahead cuz there is no way i'm going to someone who knows me xd (( spoiler warning ofc ((that includes manga spoilers

YES ITS ENDEAVOR SCREW THAT GUY anyways

SO i got the first impression they were just having all his victims brush everything under the rug for some silly "family comes first" kinda message which was supa triggering also cus i had media do that before,,i hate when that happens as a victim of familial abuse xd normalization is NOT my thing, also i'm an empath unfortunately which extends to fiction... personal screw you to some fans who completely missed the point of this part of the story >:( altho it's not a new thing that some mha fans are sh/tty

ANYWHO i found this wasn't how it was at all. the pain and the disgusting things that enji did is not glossed over as something unimportant, everyone is affected by it and acknowledges it. he's facing the consequences of decisions he consciously made and they're not water under the bridge. he's done unforgivable things and it's very well acknowledged by everyone involved including himself

i honestly saw fuyumi as inconsiderate and hated her but i realize that while she was being a bit insensitive and annoying imo, the actions and intentions she expressed don't paint the full picture. she did those things because she desperately wanted the family she didn't get/missed, so she failed to see how it was affecting her sibling and how hurt he still was. in reality, deep down, she still resents enji for what he did but she wants to be mature and gives him the chance to change. while she was being a bit self centered i can emphasize with her and think she's incredibly strong

the thing is, the focus isn't on forgiving him and going on as normal, which will never happen due to the damage he's caused, it's giving him the chance to prove he can do better. it's not about fixing the family and making things "normal again", it's about , as i've heard others say, making the family members lives better after everything. that's the intent of enji and that's the intent of shoto (should also be stated that enji wants to repent in general)

i highly respect natsuo and his decision to cut him off and not let his emotions get the better of him in the end. i also think it's really sweet that it's implied he attended the family dinner thing fuyumi was pushing to make her happy T_T I really mourn toya and love him as a character and i mourn the relationship him and shoto never got to properly have :( the exchange they had at the hospital was really cute and it makes me sad I HATE U ENJI UGHHH

i also thought hawks was annoying for associating with him but it's just that him and all might see that he's changed and want to give him a chance and i actually respect them for that like hawks was abused himself and he's still giving him a chance tldr hawks deserves the world

in the end i really respect the rest of the todoroki family for giving him that chance and being really mature and definitely strong and i guess i slightly respect him (SIGHS) because while i despise him i respect him for doing better and the best he can now (although i still think he should've just given them a massive amount of money and left cuz money talks)

(i also really adore how midoriya and UA gave shoto a safe space to get support and grow as a person hsksjdk i wish toya had found support

[graveltrip]

(for the season in review) 16, 8 ?

So so sorry for not answering this earlier. 🫣

16. A picture that you think encapsulates the vibes of this season as a whole

Charles Leclerc's pained laughter after he read his 2022 predictions. 2022, oil painting

8. Best looking and ugliest race suits?

Imo Esteban rocked the og blue-pink suit, but I wasn't sad when it was gone, the black-pink (in your area) suit was a bit better, but I wasn't in love with that either. The yellow Ferrari suits were kinda weird too.

That full black race suit AR had during testing slapped, I liked the regular Merc suit too.

[bistaxx]

thinking about toontown worldbuilding from a realistic perspective makes it seem so much darker

for one: what would toontown school realistically teach?

other than "basic stuff" like language and mathematics, I would reckon:

first-aid

juggling lol

climbing, dodging, that sort of stuff?

possibly even something to do with making the gags?

a guide on who the enemy is?

geography class might involve the whole "the shadowy place is the cog HQs and you must not go there until you're older and trained enough to do so"

worldbuilding is wild here. you got explosives and portable giant train sets to run people over with. people that grow crops for food and for the gags (e.g. thrown pies and cakes, bamboo pole for the toon-up), shopkeepers and most likely everyday professions, etc.

so many of these jobs might not even have a close equivalent in real life, and even the closest real-life equivalent might be people that make and sell weapons, since… that's what a lot of gags are…

in other words, I attempt to Worldbuild my way through the backstory fic and now that's not even half a lifetime of trauma, that's arguably a non-stop full lifetime of unending trauma we're talking about here… with this context…

I'd reckon first-aid and toon-up are probably the same for them- and it is one of the first gag tracks a toon can chose to learn!

As for how they learn new gags- in game you do tasks to get tracks of film and when you collect enough you unlock a new gag- you can probably take this a lot of ways like them being shown how to use new tools when they've proven themselves or the idea of classes where they study as you mentioned!

Also that stuff about being taught is pretty spot-on tbh! When you start up the game after making your toon you go through the tutorial where you are taught who the cogs are, what they do, how to fight them, and warned not to let your laff meter reach zero. Again we don't know a whole lot about were toons come from aside from one-off lines and some cog attacks implying they're like living drawings- but it seems as soon as they're able too every toon is taught how to fight back against the seemingly endless threat of cogs- and in a way it can make a nice parallel.

Endlessly manufactured Cogs vs endlessly drawn toons... both sides unable to get a real edge on the other!

Also yes about the shadowy places thing-! So on the streets leading to HQ's there are signs that have a warning on them that you're headed toward a Cog HQ- and unlike the other signs leading to playgrounds the warning signs look very hastily put together and lack the charm and love put into the playground signs- they're very serious in contrast to those!

Also- If you're looking for some more little tidbits their were trading cards released when the original game was still up- the cards all have little descriptions and cover things from gags to cogs to npc toons and have drawings on them as well (some even show toons doing what looks like making gags so you may be on to something there!)- you can find them on the toontown wiki, I think most of them are just kinda silly but maybe you can find something interesting in those ^_^

[mikami]

Hey there! Just wanted to say that I absolutely love all your death note analysis!! It really enriches my interest for this old manga 😭😭😭

I think you have talked about this before but I can't find the exact post): But what do you think about THIS scene? I DO believe Light is genuinely sad about his father's death but the way the scene is drawn makes it feel kinda fake?

I usually hate the way the anime interprets things but if I'm not mistaken in the anime Light cries in a very ugly way so I think it handled it better? But you're much smarter than me hahah would love to hear your thoughts

Ah, this scene... It is honestly pretty much identical in the anime, so I think what gave you that impression is Mamoru Miyano's absolutely stellar voice acting here. He really goes above and beyond to nail the panicked quality of Light's voice and the contrast to his internal monologue that is much more sinister but still increasingly frantic. It is a great performance!! The manga obviously can't deliver on that since it's a silent medium.

But yes, the scene absolutely invites an interpretation of Light's grief as being fake. Really, if you look at the scene in isolation without seeing all the importance of Light's father in his life before nor the way his behaviour changes after his death... you'd easily walk away thinking Light just didn't care.

In context however? I think it paints a different picture.

The thing about Light is that he rationalizes. HARD. It's what he always does. About to have a feeling? Let's think about something pragmatic instead. Stop feeling, start doing.

I've talked at length about how hurtful it is that Soichiro still doubted him as evidenced by him being relieved NOW that he can (he thinks) know without a doubt that Light isn't Kira - so Light just... does not focus on that at all. Instead he goes for "kill Mello" to distract himself and also because he genuinely does not want to have led his father to his death without accomplishing at least this much with it.

And really, Light isn't a person who fakes big emotions - even when he turns himself in to L, the height of how affected he pretends to be is just being kind of shaky. For him to break down crying? Hard to believe he'd be able to just fake that from scratch, imo.

And after that, Light's face is hidden for the entire rest of the chapter. In the entire manga, the hidden face cue is used for Light to show situations that do emotionally affect him.

[clydesdonovan]

cryde and clyde for 002 and 003!

oh boy let's buckle up bc this is a RIDE

send me a ship & I will tell you:

When I started shipping them:

Oh man I don't even know? I think it was like... 2008? I was 11/12 when I discovered fanfiction, fandoms and shipping, and sp was the thing I was into the MOST so I went on a deep dive there lol. I spent hours browsing ffnet and cryde was one of the first ships I discovered... and then it was just game over lol

and the rest is under the cut to save everyone's dashboards lmao

My thoughts:

My brain on cryde: *incoherent nonsense*

no but actually, I just love them. I know I don't have to tell anyone twice LOL but I really just do! There is so much untapped potential for them and I'm dyingggg to explore so much of it. There's so many different aus and stories to be made with them ranging from cutesy things to pure angst (my beloved) and everything in between. Basically I am running on cryde brain all the time

What makes me happy about them:

Honestly? Everything! Everything I could want in a ship can be found with cryde. We've got (childhood, best) friends to lovers. Growing up and falling in love OR pining for what could maybe be and the angst that follows. Opposites attract: the cool guy and his dorky boyfriend, or the jock and his edgy boyfriend. Sleepovers and climbing through each other's windows and holding up signs "you belong with me" style. And like okay these are mostly just my own headcanons lol but that's what I mean with endless possibilities and potential !!!

What makes me sad about them:

tbh, I miss Craig and co. Their interactions have been severely limited imo and that obviously includes Clyde, and I miss seeing them together. TFBW feels like the most recent, straightforward interactions between them in quite some time (excluding post-covid). Of course, I wish they had more fandom love too. That always makes me kinda sad.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Sometimes, they're a little too much like their fanon counterparts -- Craig is cold, rude and mean to Clyde, while Clyde is over-emotional, clingy and annoying. That dynamic just doesn’t work for me :/ but I think that's more of an older fandom thing and many of the fics I read now are really good!

Things I look for in fanfic:

I always have a need for misery and angst so I always look for fics that will bring me the pain (with a happy ending). But also just anything that's fun! Stuff that explores their relationship, platonically and romantically, and paints the same picture I have of them: two fumbling dummies who found each other then fell in love.

My wishlist:

honestly I just want them to interact more again !! I want more scenes, even if it's just minor scenes. I survived off of the bare minimum for so long like I can do it again if m&t would just give me that minimum --

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I'm a big fan of clenny also, so I'd be down for some canon Clyde/Kenny! I doubt m&t will make anyone else gay though LOL so those odds are extremely low. I think Clyde/Bebe is cute too though! They're a little toxic but like they can work it out. Maybe.

I honestly have NO idea for Craig lmao I just know I don’t see him as anything but gay so. Maybe Stan? I’m not really into staig but I think that could make for an interesting dynamic since they're the most “rival”-like of their groups.

My happily ever after for them:

They're lame and cliche. They’re high school sweethearts who start dating in junior/senior year. They do the long distance thing for a while bc of college, but once that's over and done with, they get a little apartment, maybe adopt some pets. Eventually, they get married and possibly even look towards adopting some kids. The future is a big, blank slate and they'll figure it out as they go, but the end is always the same: they're dorks, and they're old, and they're in love and that's that.

//

give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character:

I hate him he sucks :// everything about this blog is ironic

lmao no, I obviously love Clyde!! He's been my favorite sp character for a looong time. I've been here since he had like, no lines or personality or anything and I've watched him go from being a random background kid to a more main character (sometimes) and I'm love him. I just wish he didn't always get screwed over lmaoooo like please let him be happy just once

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character:

hmm this should be a relatively short list.

Craig, Kenny, Bebe... and honestly I think that's basically it fkjgjk

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:

I do like clenny romantically but I also really love the idea of Kenny and Clyde as chaotic best friends. Bebe too actually! And of course Jimmy and Tolkien.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

hmm I don't know if this is unpopular or popular or what, but I don't really care much for the stupid, shallow, "womanizer" portrayal of Clyde. I just don't think those words describe him at all. I love to call him stupid but I don't actually think he is dkjfj he's been shown to be smart and clever on many occasions. And he shows an interest in the girls he knows but... he's a ten year old boy. Ten year old boys have crushes and find girls pretty. It doesn't have to be anything more than that.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

CAN HE JUST BE HAPPY? Can we get a happy Clyde ep? Can we have an episode that features him smiling and playing with his friends? Having a cute moment with his dad? Playing with Rex (bc I didn't forget about Rex!)? All of the above??? It's like every time we get anything Clyde-centric, he's getting hurt in SOME way and frankly I am tired of this BULLYING

Favorite friendship for this character:

Fanon-wise, Kenny! Canon-wise, Jimmy and Tolkien! Craig too but I won't count him for this lol. I just really love the oldschool Craig and co. scenes and episodes. Their friendships were always really fun!

My crossover ship:

I still don’t have an answer for this dkjfjk I’m not a crossover gal

[shikidrawdraw]

B grade IGCSE paper 1 (design)

gonna write my experience for coursework 1, 8 preps roughly over a year

Things I enjoyed about IGCSE art

The concept of it’s grading in theory is great, to show creativity and fully plan and stretch out the process it makes sense

Imo it really pushes you out of your comfort zone to try and do something big, before this i couldn’t draw big pictures

One of the things i really liked about this paper is that I think it really shows my like “art style” its kinda messy but its there u know its fun im messy im great im hot and sexy i look like linda evanglista

Personal notes

I mean according to my art teacher the grading system for IGCSE art has really gone whack recently, alot of the grades that teachers had been forcasting correctly for years has gotten thrown out of the window

Overall when I started my main coursework my main goal was to have an art border and make it seem mysterious, that was my main goal, i could have focused on that more

I thought about doing something “cultural” or “deep” but I really wanted to push myself in drawing plants and plant arrangement because i don’t draw plants and i really wanted to do it

if i would have done it again i would have DEFFF tried potrait painting

The main thing I would have done differently is def added more neatness to the idea

What I would tell myself to do earlier

I mean okay honestly, do fine arts for paper 1. Examiners are prob looking for really polished paintings (i got more marks on paper 2 my fine arts paper)

if ur doing design, you need to make sure the layout is extremely clean, the idea and concept is there 

I hate to say this but choose some deep messaging like “mental health” or “culture and enthicity” if you want a good grade and constantly hammer it to the examiner that one sad subject

one of the things I didn’t do that well was stick to the final plan LMAO i think i probably lost marks for that because when I paint i tend to just go apeshit and change everything don’t be like me stick to ur final plan and alter it abit thank u

[beendressingforrevenge]

My Evermore first listen through

Willow - love the bouncy strings kinda wistful but also lively? Water and ships agaaain. The reverb works well on this production. "Take my hand wreck my plans" is so cute. "Come out stronger than a 90s trend" hello style parallel. FOLLOWED BY A SPEAK NOW ONE "wait for the signal and I'll meet you". Literal chills listening to this song. "Every bait and switch was a work of art" hello hoax!!

Champagne problems - explicit and I'm here for it. Back to trains, interesting. Her voice is so soft. Love the stripped back feel. Crestfallen. Picture in your wallet, migrated from locket in SBT. "Your heart was glass and I dropped it".... heartbreaking. The run on celebrating is *chefs kiss*. Adding the strings and the "aahs" is a lovely build up. "She'll patch the tapestry I shred" wowowow.

Gold rush - feels like confetti of gold? Idk how else to describe the beginning. The beat is solid. The way the words hit the beat is very different for her. And the arrangement is also unique for swift music. "What must it be like to grow up that beautiful" - ask yourself that ms swift. The high notes are kind of reminiscent of haunted? I love the vibe and the idea of the two songs being sides of the same coin

'Tis the damn season - angry righteousness is the vibe. "You can run but only so far". Love the harmonies in the chorus. Her range is so delicious. "The road not taken looks real good now". "Only soul who can tell the smiles I'm faking" this is the opposite of IOMWIWY fight me on this

Tolerate it - melancholy vibes. "Use my best colours for your portrait" "I know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it". This is such a sad song. "Threw blankets on my barbed wire" this is so sad, theres not much else to say. Of course this is track 5.

No body, no crime - excited for the haim feat ngl. Sirens and an ominous beat. Oof the country vibe but the "he did it" and that sauciness. Oooh this is so vengeful and dark I loooove it. WHAT HAPPENED TO ESTE? Nooo. Though I love the switch from este saying "I think he did it but I just cant prove it" to the singer saying it. Oooh shit the switch AGAIN. She just cant prove it. Also get "before he cheats" vibes from this.

Happiness - soft and slightly unsettling vibes. "Havent met the new me yet". I love the switch between happiness being because of/in spite of you. This song is striking a chord in me. The imagery of the sunrise. "Eyes leak acid rain" ooof. "But I think she'll give you that". There is happiness honey, you get that happy.

Dorothea - bouncy but subdued vibes. "You always know me" is so cute but kinda possessive? Like, she out there living her best life. The ooohOUUooos are nice.

Coney island - "did I shatter you?" touches my soul. There is such a regret vibe in the music and the lyrics. You can almost feel the chill via the musical arrangement? "Like the mall before the internet" ❤ the tree imagery keeps recurring and I love it "did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey" I SEE YOU MS SWIFT. Getting chills at this end part.

Ivy - no intro, inchresting. Sounds like a story by a campfire. "Grieving for the living" "my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand" "putting roots in my dreamland". Ughh the imagery! I love the ideas in this song. "So yeah" and "you started it" make me chuckle for some reason.

Cowboy like me - sway and suave feel. Dancing is a dangerous game. Who is the backing vocal (william bowery or jack?). Not feeling this as much as the others, bit slooow. The lyrics are nice but its not moving fast enough imo.

Long story short - reminiscent of muted gun shots. Love the vibe and the way the it flows. "Clung to the closest lips, was the wrong guy". "They once held the keys too" - hello LWYMMD. "But if someone comes at us this time i'm ready" YEEES GURL. Also wonderland vibes, JUSTICE FOR WONDERLAND. Might be my fave so far tbf. Ugh chills from head to toe at the nemeses part 🥰🤗👀. I can see myself dancing to this with my friends. I want someone who makes me feel this way. "Long story short I survived" is very tattooable

Marjorie - "never be so kind you forget to be clever" and then switched, ms swift why are you calling me out again? "Never be so polite you forget power" and the switch again, holy heck I love the word play in this song. Probably not one I'll have on repeat, but I do love the imagery.

Closure - punkish vibe, and sort of futuristic too. A bit disjointed. The way she sings also reflects that feel. Interestiiiing. Her emphasis is very different and I'm here for it. "I'm fine with my spite". GO IN. "It cut deep to know ya" I am vibing hard with this song. Chills at the end oof ms swift you did it again.

Evermore - her singing the same melody as the piano is also something different, and then switching to a place where she slightly deviates and coming back to the melody. "Catching my breath...catching my death". "This pain would be for evermore". This is sad but hopeful? Chills AGAIN "cant remember what I used to fight for". "On the very moment all was lost, sending signals to be doublecrossed". The piano doubling down when she sings "evermore" is so lovely. Oh hello changing pace and hello bon iver! Then fading back to the piano is so gooood. "This pain wouldnt be for evermore" classic swift shift and I am here for it.

[pxppinmolly-archived]

charlie and alastor? if you are okay with answering...

Ship Vibe Checks

Yeah I’m fine with answering, not anything I haven’t done before because a lotta people used to ask LMAO.

Okay it’s no secret I hate Chal/astor LMAO. It’s in my triggers for a reason.

It’s not much of a trigger -- though I mean. I DO get a physical reaction from seeing it and it greatly upsets me but. Idk. I digress.

I just. Fucking hate the cold takes and just-- Where do I begin.

Firstly, let’s discuss how people tend to paint them in fandom.

There’s either the “Charlie will make Alastor change with LOVE” or the “Charlie will just ignore whatever Alastor is doing for LOVE”, basically the like. Housewife of a Serial Killer who she lets bury the bodies in her rose garden shit. Which, I love that trope, but it doesn’t fit for Charlie and Alastor’s character.

In he pilot people are SO QUICK to point out how Alastor REALLY IS ATTRACTED AND LIKE LIKES CHARLIE, even though Viv said he canonically does not, but more so what bugs me is that what he is doing is BLATANT manipulation of the situation. Him charming Charlie and pulling her away from Vaggie while harassing Vaggie at the same time isn’t him being like. Oowoo jealous and wanting to steal Charlie romantically; it’s him wanting to steal Charlie and take her soul or whatever, who knows. Point is he WANTS something from her and it isn’t anything romantic.

Speaking of the pilot; they have no chemistry, imo. Not ROMANTICALLY at least. Like I just don’t see it, personally. I get more of a weird uncle vibe from Alastor with everyone rather than anything romantic.

But the fandom sure just. Paints everything in a weird twist of the picture. And the fandom ALSO tends to over hype it, throw it in your face, and just. Everywhere! And they get Charlie AND Alastor’s pre established character’s wrong to the point it’s just. Uncomfortable.

Also a LOT of Chal/astor shippers I’ve met? Are like... Not great people. I’ve had too many bad run ins with people who shipped Chal/astor. This isn’t going out to everyone who ships it, but a majority of the run ins I’ve had the people are like. Hostile, vile, and just... No respect for personal boundaries or opinions.

Also it just kinda makes me sad to see a canon wlw ship be like. Literally rather ignored and thrown away and be like. In the background while this ship gets front stage and just everyone fawning over it. I don’t get it!

And again. This ship isn’t anywhere fucking healthy; far from it. Most people who ship this ship tone down Alastor’s character IMMENSELY. And it just kinda makes me... :/ While ALSO making Charlie’s character so much more... Ditzy and dumb. It’s just such a disrespect for both character’s, honestly.

It just bugs me. It bugs me!

I don’t get the appeal -- I used to lowkey ship it back in my baby days of the fandom but the more content I saw for it, the more shippers I met, I just got sick to my stomach. It makes me upset and rubs me the wrong way. Manipulation being played as this cutesy little ship thing just... I don’t like it, man.

And this was all fandom related, not RPC related. But in that regard? So many people I’ve met that shipped this ship tended to force their Alastor or Charlie on other Alastor and Charlie muses for this ship content and seemed to have no regard for the mun and their writing. Just wanting another Alastor or Charlie to write with. Again, this obviously isn’t about any mutuals, and who knows if it still happens, but it was very prevalent back in the day.

But yeah. That’s my fucking whole gripe -- least off the top of my head.

[strangerinaholyplace]

A SUMMONING BUT I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE

OKAY KIDDOS TIME FOR ANALYZING THE SHIT OUT OF THIS

first of all I am only pointing out the more obscure/less noticeable/weird stuff I found, because y’all ain’t dumb and you’ve obviously seen the Demolition Lovers and the Dracs, so!

numero uno!!

hello mikeyway glasses (not exactly, but close) and I’m Not Okay inhaler!

numero dos!

y’all have probably seen her but I cried a bit soooo PANSY!!! (I’m so sorry for the shitty screengrabs btw i am not as they say hip with the computer stuffs so i just did some printscreens from yt) 

(ugh that is really bad quality sorry)

numero tres!

I am actually kinda bummed that i don’t know what that eye is (unless it’s the eye from the post box in the desert in nanana???) BUT! the picture top right corner is from The Black Parade Is Dead! In Mexico! yay!

(also i got tired of cropping the screenshots in paint so you’re getting timestamps now too lol)

numero quatro! (someone stop me i don’t know if I can count that high in spanish lo siento)

you know WHAT THEY DO TO GUYS LIKE US IN PRISOOOOON

NUMERO CINQUE (I THINK?)

most of y’all already caught that from the previous teaser but mister chemical romances jacket! raymond himself wore that!! 

NUMERO CINQUE AND A HALF

while we’re on the topic of clothes, here’s the famous skeleton hoodie that i’m still not sure if it was franks or gerards??? anyway 13yo me was obsessed with it but i didn’t have the money for one

NUMERO SEIS

speaking of interesting fashion choices... i actually have one of those. and that’s all i’m gonna say bout that. TEENAGERS! YAY!

numero sieteeeeee

now we don’t have time to unpack all of this SIKE WE DO 

this is actually a bit sad, sorry! It’s everyone who passed away, and so i actually numbered the pictures to give you a quick rundown:

oh and before that - dia de los muertos skull! and matches that will be relevant later!

1. & 2. I’m pretty sure that’s franks grandparents on his mothers side, but don’t hold me to that!

3. imo this is Dixie, bob bryars dog???? i am confusion but also i get it, they’re all good dogs brent

4. is probably peppers?? i don’t even know anymore y’all im a fake fan, he has too many fucking dogs i can’t keep up

5.  Lauren Valencia, their tour manager who passed last year from cancer

6. with a better view below is fronks grandpa! the drummer! he has a tattoo of him made by k*t v*n d

7. i am about 86.2% sure that’s Elena Way, but i don’t think gerard or mikey ever shared any pictures of her, so i’m not gonna say for sure!

8. that’s mister chemical romance senior! rays dad, who let me say looks like freddie mercury and i respect that

9. oh no another dog ummm uhh eyyy idk sweat pea??? maybe?? idk i need like a separate wiki page just for franks dogs

10. i actually don’t know who that is either so pls lmk if you do! (i feel like i’ve seen his face before but can’t place it, sorry!)

(bonus pic of mr Iero Sr.!)

OH ALSO

Our Lady Of Sorrows is the way Madonna is presented with seven swords in her heart for the seven sorrows lbh you all have read the unholyverse and know what’s up 

numero idek i got lost ocho maybe??

random old revenge era gerard way art on the wall idk thought you might’ve missed it

NUMERO NUEVE (i remembered)

I know y’all have seen it but i’m really excited about it!!!! so here it is again,,,,,, hotel bella muerte keyring!

NUMERO DIEZ!!!

NOW WE’RE GETTING INTO IT HELL YEAH LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

GAY VAMPIRES IN NEON COLORS THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY THIS BAND HAS NEVER BEEN STRAIGHT

oh and here’s rays medic helmet from ghost of you and the STARVED TO DEATH IN A LAND OF PLENTY banner from wttbp (that banner is still the most communist thing gerard ever did and i am in love with it) from two povs so you can see better!

NUMERO ONCE! (wow i can’t believe i still remember how to count in spanish)

WRITINGS ON THE WAAAAAAALLLLS this is my favorite part for two reasons: 1. i’m pretty sure gerard did that graffiti himself because that’s his xoxo shape and 2. i love graffiti! and mcr! and mcr graffiti! ok lets go

she loves you on the left and saints protect her now on the right side of kids head, in green paint next to it is UNLEASH THE BATS also i’m not sure what the relevance of Alien Blaster is but our boys always were nerds so oh well

above and behind the middle drac are the whispers!! you know which whispers!! the one at the end of vampires!!!  also kinda cut off but at the very top it says DIE IN THE DESERT and behind the gentleman on our right i’m pretty sure is heaven help us!!! 

NUMERO DOCE (i’m really proud of myself rn)

and we’re back to the matches! 

btw this shot is dope as fuck and i love venom so much

NUMERO..... (shit now i’m bummed) 13..... idk how it is in spanish :(((((

we’re in the parade now! not much to unpack here except desolation row from watchmen which to this day is my favourite mcr music video!!!!

numero.. CATORCE! I REMEMBER!

HELL YEAH BABY I’M NOT OKAY REFERENCE

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

i know y’all have seen it it wasn’t really subtle, but i wanted to throw in my theory! that’s not teenagers! or even the helium wars! THAT SYMBOLIZES THE BREAK UP! thanks for coming to my ted talk

i’m sorry if this makes less sense than the video itself my adhd will not stop today but i had to make this!! even if everyone has seen all of that before i’m proud that i got all of it in here!! thanks and have a nice us tour from us here in the europes 

[thediverismylove]

LOVER TRACK BY TRACK REVIEW

i forgot that you existed — don’t like the beginning she sounds like a robot lol. “in my feelings more than drake”??? girl no thank you. not a big fan of this song. 3/10. fave lyric is “it isn’t love / it isn’t hate / it’s just indifference”; least fave is “in my feelings more than drake, yeah”.

cruel summer — love the production on this one! her voice sounds really good and i love the way she sings “cruel summer”. 8.5/10. fave lyric is “so cut the headlights / summer’s a knife / i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone”; no least fave lyrics here!

lover — the TENDERNESS of this song! love how easy and pretty and acoustic it it is. 9.5/10. fave lyric is “my heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue / all’s well that ends well to end up with you”; no least fave again!

the man — okay “when everyone believes you / what’s that like?” wig! also when she’s like if i was a man…….then i’d be the man…….and the synths do That in the background? it does feel very Feminism 101 in the verses but the chorus is fun! idk i expected more from this one and it’s def fun but not an all time fave. 6/10. fave lyric is “i’m so sick of running as fast as i can / wondering if i’d get there quicker if i was a man”; least fave is “and they would toast to me, oh, let the players play / i’d be just like leo in saint tropez”.

the archer — SO gorgeous and vulnerable! love the gentle and introspective vibes of this one and how simple the backing track is. her voice is so pretty in this one! would love to hear this totally acoustic. 9.5/10. fave lyric is “i cut off my nose just to spite my face / and i hate my reflection for years and years”; least fave is the pre-chorus bit that’s similar to humpty dumpty you know the one lol.

i think he knows — ugh hate the intro again talky-singing works well for her sometimes but it really doesn’t work here. very bored by this one. it feels like it’s trying so hard to be fun but it doesn’t have particularly interesting instrumentals/synths/whatever and her voice is way too talky-singy for me here. the last chorus is kinda fun but not enough to fix the whole song. 4/10. favorite lyric is “he got my heartbeat / skipping down sixteenth avenue baby”; least fave is “he got that boyish look that i like in a man / i am an architect, i’m drawing up the plans”.

miss americana & the heartbreak prince — pretty intro! the talky-singing works a little better for me here. the pageant/prom conceit is fun. very amused by her still comparing her adult life to high school prom considering she left high school at like what 15/16 for music? jdeasjkkjcskjn it’s fun tho this song is fun. i have a feeling this one will grow on me. 8/10. fave lyric is “we're so sad, we paint the town blue / voted most likely to run away with you”; least fave is the “she’s a bad bad girl bit” lol 

paper rings — ooh fun intro! like whatever effect they have over her voice. this one has a really cool beat. like the kiss me once/kiss me twice bit. the chorus is really sweet! the tune is very dance-worthy. i could def see this being played in a romcom (cue me adding it to the playlist for my gay summer camp romcom). didn’t expect to like this one so much but i’m enjoying it a lot so far! idk abt the lyrics im not even listening that closely jfekwjakjnkjn i just love the beat and the effect they have over her voice. also can’t stop thinking about when rey @theglowpt2 said “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” sounds something the try guys would shout at each other lmfao. 8.5/10. fave lyric is “darling, you’re the one i want / and paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams / oh, you’re the one i want”; least fave is “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” bc of aforementioned try guys energies making it humorous instead of cute as intended for me.

cornelia street — like her voice in the intro it sounds very pretty and soft! don’t like the weird synth thing going on at the beginning tho it’s giving me a headache. don’t like the way she launches into the chorus it feels very abrupt. “we bless the rains on cornelia street” lol is this a toto ref? this one is pretty underwhelming ngl. her voice is pretty in some places here though. would probably enjoy an acoustic version of this a lot more. 6/10. fave lyric is “and baby, i get mystified by how this city screams your name”; no least fave lyric but i hate those loud synth things at the beginning more than anything.

 death by a thousand cuts — totally thought this was gonna be a song about like. bitter ~haters~ or smth by the title. her voice is really pretty after the “my my my” bit! love the synths in this one. the line about the traffic lights…...wig! okay totally expected to not like this one but i kinda like it. laughing at her going “UNITED WE STAND” tho lmfao. this one will def grow on me. 8/10. fave lyric is “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright / they say i don’t know”; least fave is “our songs, our films, united we stand / our country, guess it was a lawless land”.

london boy — oh excited for the absolute INSANITY of this one girls! DID SHE JUST REFER TO HER HOMETOWN AS SOCAL GIRL YOU ARE FROM PENNSYLVANIA!!!!! also so amused about she needs to reference the fact that she is american and her bf is british so many times. if i heard this song out in public i’d have to die. did she make a p!atd ref lol. unfortunate as hell but it’s kinda fun. 4/10. fave is none of it; least fave is all of it. 

 soon you’ll get better — oh this one is gonna make me SOB i just know it!!!! the vulnerableness of it all. thank you for a song about family ms taylor! the harmonies w the dixie chicks i’m ascending. this one is so so gorgeous and heartbreaking and the first song off this album that actually really made me Feel Something. 10/10. fave lyric is “the buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair / in doctor’s office lighting / i didn’t tell you i was scared”; no least fave!!! She’s Perfect

 false god — intro is fun! i like her voice in this one it’s #sexi. the line abt being nyc is funny lol…..girl what does that mean you are not a town what does that MEAAAAN. taylor swift said YES i fuck what about it in this song. the line about being the west village…...what does that mean? he’s expensive??? 6.5/10. fave lyric is “the altar is my hips / even if it’s a false god / we’d still worship this love”; least fave is “staring out the window like i’m not your favorite town / i’m new york city, i’d still do it for you, babe”.

 you need to calm down — i REFUUUUSE to listen to this song all the way it’s so corny and ridiculous. taylor rly thot she was doing smth w this one. 3.5/10. no fave lyric; least fave is like. ALL of it it’s very cheesy.

 afterglow — pretty vocals! love me some vulnerable songs. not much to say about this one lol. i like the chorus a lot. 7.5/10. fave lyric is “fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves / chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us / why'd I have to break what i love so much?”; least fave is “tell me that it’s not my fault / tell me that i’m all you want / even when i break your heart”.

 me! — unpopular opinion but i actually prefer me! to yntcd. idk why i just feel like me! knows how ridiculous and silly it is but yntcd does not. maybe that’s just me tho? 4/10. can’t believe she killed the best line of all time aka “hey kids spelling is fun”...that was HILARIOUSLY BAD AND WONDERFUL AT THE SAME TIME. that would’ve been the fave; least fave is the awkward uncomfortable space where “hey kids spelling is fun” used to be.

 it’s nice to have a friend — very forgettable. her vocals here are pretty but the song overall is nothing special imo. do like the dreamy vibes tho! 4.5/10. fave or least fave lyrics tbh it’s just boring to me pretty but boring.

 daylight — WHY is taylor swift so obsessed w/ mentioning that some of her friends turned out to be dicks. absolutely OBSESSED w/ that edit that’s like “i wounded the good and trusted the wicked” over katy perry and karlie kloss respectively it’s peak comedy. very pretty vocals but has some unfortunate lyrics! 5.5/10. fave lyric is “i, i just think that / you are what you love”; least fave is “i wounded the good and i trusted the wicked / clearing the air, i breathed in the smoke”.

overall: probably like a 6.5/10? had some really great tracks like lover & the archer & soon you’ll get better but also some BAD ones like me!, yntcd, and i forgot that you existed. it was a fun time but not an all time fave. in terms of tswift album rankings i’m not sure where i’d put it yet get back to me on that one. anyways i’m gonna go listen to lucy dacus now bye

[asianjeremyheere]

happy one month anniversary to the bmc obcr!!! to celebrate, im gonna put my track-by-track commentary under the cut and split into two parts (act 2 here) because god it got so long and i am. very sorry. read at ur own risk. and it really is just rambling commentary because i had a gdoc out and the whole soundtrack playing, alternating obcr and ocr tracks SO! tada! act 1!

JEREMY'S THEME

Okay the orchestrations are great on both BUT I do prefer how much more sudden the end is on the ocr? Obcr Jeremy's theme kind of has that echoey quality at the end and I'm pretty sure it's just a recording thing but. Recording-wise I do kind of prefer the ocr. That said, I don't listen to Jeremy's theme THAT much.

MORE THAN SURVIVE

90% of this is going to be me preferring the obcr and this is no exception BUT I do like the ocr tempo a little more? It's faster and feels like it captures the whole day-at-school rush a little better, which works in most of the song except during the "Christiiiiine" portions because those are absolutely KILLER when they're a little slower. They sound more romantic, in a way?? Like it goes from Jeremy seeing her, a girl whom he likes and wants to point out to Michawl, to Jeremy seeing her and being totally enraptured/distracted by her, hence the slower/more drawn out Christiiiiine's working in its favor. Also would have like Michael's verse to be faster? I've always imagined him to be, like. A fast talker. I don't really care about how much George changed his voice for it, I just wish it was faster. But overall, I like it better on the obcr because Will R is waaay more emotive and I'm in love with his falsetto and his runs.

I LOVE PLAY REHEARSAL

I know I said I was terrible at recognizing tempo but ILPR feels so fast on the ocr??? Anyway I like the obcr version better and Stephanie is adorable in both but MORE so in the obcr. Her inflections have so much more character and she paints a much clearer picture of Christine as a whole just in that one song. ALSO the added dialogue!!!! Love that. It's also got a less consistent tempo (I think????) which works for a song like this and a character like Christine

MORE THAN SURVIVE REPRISE

This isnt on the ocr but it was in the original show and I got it stuck in my head all the fucking time so I'm just glad it got recorded!! I don't have a Two River audio on hand rn but I like the bway version better anyway because Will R is, again, more emotive and I think it works better with this specific iteration of Jeremy anyways? Like. His whole character is sadder so this song fits a little better.

THE SQUIP SONG

Ngl I can't really tell the difference between the two but Gerard's voice has only had time to improve (I hope? He seems to do a lot of stuff when he's not doing a show and I wonder if he's like. Taking care of his voice. I hope so?) and I love the new glitchy stuff at the end. But like rip the "picture this" verse :( I think I just. Like them both pretty equally??

TWO PLAYER GAME

Obcr babey!!! I like the way a bunch of the instruments cut out and it's just the 8-bit stuff right at the start? That's fun as fuck. Also Will R's "ah! gah!" noises are 💜💙💜❤💖💙🧡💙. The orchestrations in the obcr are also just. God tier. And the tech-y fade out sound at the end is one of my favorite things. Also George's voice is the same pitch but he sounds younger in the obcr and that's not good or bad because he still sounds convincing enough to be a high school either way.

THE SQUIP ENTERS

Okay I like the obcr for this better too just because there's more in it. It isn't just Jeremy screaming for a minute and a half, they also added the dialogue which makes it better. I don't actually really like this song as much on the ocr just because I did. Not enjoy listening to a song that was basically just screaming? It's too loud and I was always worried about people hearing it through my headphones skdjks. The obcr version isn't much better screaming-wise but I can't just straight up skip it anymore because there's stuff at the end. Plus they have a bigger budget for effects and the transition from the startup-Squip voice to Jason Tam's voice where they're doubled up? God. I love him.

BE MORE CHILL, PT. 1

Obcr wins this just for the 'outdated' riff alone. Also, Jeremy sounds more intimidated/impressionable?? WPC Jeremy doesn't sound scared of the Squip/sounds borderline rebellious right off the bat, which is weird considering EWM is allegedly the 'more evil one' 🤔🤔🤔🤔. Plus I think the obcr has more harmonies and Will R's comedic timing during the Squip Tango is spot-on. AND KATLYN!! Yeah. Love her. She's so much more intense in the obcr and it works for Chloe??? She just sounds more passive in the ocr. That said, Jason should have sung more because his voice…… pwetty

DO YOU WANNA RIDE

The obcr ending has my heart…. the pinkberry riff….. the giggle and "au revoir"........ I am in love with Brooke Lohst. I don't really mind that it's slower either? But I can't hear the trombone shot notes as well on the obcr and that makes me sad :( Charlie Rosen ur orchestrations are gold but dont drown out the trombone that was my favorite part of ocr dywr!!!!!

BE MORE CHILL, PT. 2

Jason Tam's Squip voice is good you guys are just mean and don't understand nuance!!!!!!! I love the obcr version of this because a) Jason!!!!!! b) Will!!!!!!!! and c) Tiffany's high note at the end!!!!!!!!! Also the gong!!!!!

For real though? Will R. is much more expressive in the repeat-after-me section and Jason Tam's cooler, more laid-back tone works. I'm more inclined to trust that he can actually help me because he sounds more guiding than demanding and I, personally, don't respond well to people exercising their authority over me! I do much better when things are phrased like "I'm going to help you! Here are some suggestions. Do them. Look, it's working!" vs "Do what I say, it's the only way you'll succeed" and to have the Squip start out sounding more like the former before getting more outwardly controlling works better and makes more sense imo!

MORE THAN SURVIVE REPRISE/SYNC UP

Okay I can't really compare these two because they're totally different songs at this point but I love Sync Up and I can compare that end portion because it's the same! 'Head to play rehearsal' > 'drama practice' because it's not a huge difference but he's parroting Christine's terminology and it shows that he's listening to her, which Mr. Will Roland himself said was a huge part of Jeremy's journey! (Learning to listen.) Also, Will R just sounds more eager and excited to actually be included? Will C just sounds like he's relieved that he's not being shoved around. Will R!Jeremy sounds more excited in general, even at the beginning before he gets shocked. And then his “ghughgh” noise. Mood, Will. The Squip at this part is kind of. Hmm. I don’t really like it in the recorder version ngl but I know Jason talked about like. Struggling a little more to get into the Squip mindset during the recording process because the costumes are so integral to his characterization and he didn’t have said costumes for the obcr recording so I’ll give him a pass. It doesn’t faze me as much in audios so??? Jason Tam u get a pass.

A GUY THAT I'D KINDA BE INTO

The obcr recorders make me ❤💗💖💕💖💕💙💘🧡💘🧡❤💕❤💕💙💜💖❤!!!! Also I prefer the new ending where she goes "Who kneeeeeeeeeew?" and how surprised/thrilled Will R!Jeremy sounds when he says "Is she talking about me?" but like…. Jason Tam, I will defend your Squip voice to my dying day but why did you have to say "pheromones" like that. Okay also I'm listening to each song's versions back-to-back and the tempo changes keep throwing me off. But I do appreciate the lack of clapping in the ocr.

THE SQUIP LURKS/THE SQUIP STALKS

Obcr wins because its an instrumental and I love the bway instrumental. Also, it's longer and spookier. Thank you, Charlie Rosen. You deserved a Tony nom for this shit.

UPGRADE

I'm gonna say right off the bat that I love obcr Upgrade so much because of the additional depth given to Brooke and Jake, and I love the new ending because like woah chills. That's all. It's not a disclaimer or anything, I just love it. Also, Stephanie's "oh wow"? Cute as fuck!!! Britton's voice??? God tier!!!!!! Brooke's french at the start and the way Lauren's voice breaks on "I just want someone to see me first"??? God!!!!!!!! Tiffany coming in by herself before everyone else joins in during that layered section??? I am deceased. I love trying to pick out every individual person's voice in that section. Usually Gerard, Lauren, and Will are easiest for me to pinpoint? Idk. Ocr Upgrade still fucking slaps though. Steph's "oh wow" is a little more underwhelming but I'm like. In love with the tempo right before the "Christiiiine"s? Also uhhh wish they'd included Jeremy and Michael's conversation somewhere in the obcr.

LOSER GEEK WHATEVER

I love LGW and I'll stand by this forever. I'm gonna compare this to the end of ocr Upgrade because that's technically where it goes and I think it does a better job of showing Jeremy's motivations and his worries about taking the Squip! Also it makes sense story-wise that he would take time to slow it down and think/process considering he just…. asked the Squip for time to process….. but like the original ending is still a bop and it's super good for like. Hyping urself up. I just think LGW does better for Jeremy's character and it's a good song!!! It sums up a lot of what I feel/the ways I relate to Jeremy, too, so it's. Emotional hearing it in audios skdjsj but not as much with the recording anymore!!

[annashipper]

JT Anon - Ben & Sophies creepy PR marriage

ah yes of course we get this lovely little story right when Enty says there’s a weird contract between Ben and his totally totally real for love not profit wife. Because love matches have public relations contracts and publicity arrangements in place. oh wait, whats that i hear in the distance? nans drooling as they shout “he is just supporting her any good husband would do that!!11!"

I actually agree w our slobbery pals, it would make perfect sense that a supportive husband would be thrilled to use his resources to help promote his wife a la a family brand! its a little odd considering he has never shown for any of her work. i mean, the guy couldn’t even be bothered to show up for a literal 14min show. doesn’t exactly paint the picture of a man starry eyed for his wifes brilliance

i think people are rightfully disturbed by the way in which this arrangement has ben hammered out. theres a creepy, kinda dark bubbly underneath this, isn’t there?

when we were all laughing that sophie had pals who helped her get attention, that was just kinda sad. this is not sad. this is disturbing.

how incredibly creepy is it that bens pr has been instructed not to simply promote their stars wifes work, but that there is a caveat that this promotion MUST immediately follow any publicity ben gets.

i mean, we didn’t need Enty to tell us this, we’ve seen this pattern so much that its become a running joke. we count down the days to a sophie article after ben gets any shine. it seems now its w/in 24 hours that we get some new tidbit

i say that this is creepy and dark because, think of the type of discussion that had to take place between the two lovebird for an agreement w this specificity to come to fruition.

The reason that i find this whole publicity thing creepy is that…it makes no sense unless Sophie is actually resentful and hateful w regards to bens success.

It makes absolutely zero sense that ben would demand such a convoluted arrangement from his PR w regards to his wifes work. It just makes no sense. Lots of celebrity wives kinda become demi celebs off their spouses. Wives get book deals and fashion lines hosting gigs and modelling jobs all the time (see Leos entire dating history).

its this demand that she get equal amounts of publicity w in a certain time period of Ben getting publicity that has a sinister vibe to it.

the only reason that anyone would want that specific of an arrangement is if they were resentful of the other party getting attention. what other explanation is there for this exact sched.

because sophies calendar is hardly booked in a way that required time sensitive publicity, you know what i mean? for example, its not like she has a play coming out next month, so why exactly did she NEED that interview released IMMEDIATELY after ben did a charity event?

all of the press sophie has got in the past year has absolutely not required that it come on the heels of attention for Ben, so why not wait a week or two?

Only someone who is jealous and resentful of the attention ben gets would have this specific caveat in place. its completely unnecessary. they could easily mention ben in her copy to make sure it gets trending. i mean they went so far as to put "wife of benedict cumberbatch” to get people interested in her, right? add a hashtag, i promise you, all the same people reading about his charity will see her thing also

under what circumstances is this request appropriate

“Thank you honey, I appreciate the support! Just one small thing, I need you to make sure that I get the same amount of media mentions you do, even if I don’t have any active projects, and I must get media attention anytime you do, ok? thanks love!"

I dunno about you all, but thats…creepy. its creepy. it just simmers w jealousy and resentment.

can you imagine being married to someone who resents your success so much that they make demands like this? because why else would she even think to add this in? why would a tit for tat arrangement even cross her mind?

its got to be so unnerving living w someone who is so simmering w jealousy and resentment over your success that they go so far as to, rather than receive bens help w grace and love, make sure there are rules  so that ben doesn’t get a single stitch of attention w out her getting some also

im not w other skeptics who diagnose people over the net, but i will say, this is creepy creepy creepy. it really, to me, makes sophie out to be terribly unbalanced imo. only an extremely fragile and jealous person would ask to have it set up like this

poor ben. he has worked so hard to get so far. the wonderful career he seemed to be building is not exactly on fire, and now his team has to extend its resources making sure his wife gets just the exact same amount of publicity he does, and it must be ready to go w/in a few days.

I can’t imagine living w someone so unbalanced and creepy and clawing that they would even think to have this sort of agreement in place

Ill just leave you w this, since my gf reads Annas blog (hey there girlie ;-) . She just got a wicked wicked promotion at work. Not only is it a really big jump, but its history making given who she is. she is telling everyone who will listen (rightfully so) all about it. family, friends, co workers, the deli guy she sees all the time (reasons).

under no circumstances would i tell her that while she is rightfully boasting and enjoying her moment after a lot of hard work, that she had to mention and talk about something im working on.

it would also never, ever cross my mind to quickly follow up her story and joy w my own story just to make sure i was also getting praise and attention

why? because i love my partner, and im proud of her work, and i love it when she gets positive attention. i love it. im not jealous of it, and i don’t have any desire to ride her coat tails and sponge off her.

sophie, on the other hand, cannot seem to stomach ben getting praise or attention. otherwise, why have this sort of arrangement?

J I hope ben mentions this in an interview and desperately tries to make it out like this was his idea T anon

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I have to say I disagree with you JT.

I don’t think it’s jealousy or resentment that drives the re-re-re-re-re-re-introductions of Madame Fetchless within a couple of days of Ben getting press of his own.

I believe it’s nothing more than making sure Weirdo’s pieces in the (progressively growing in obscurity) media outlets will get maximum exposure.  If people are interested in a piece of news surrounding Ben, it only makes sense to attach his wife’s re-introductions to that piece of news within a brief timeframe, so that people will be tricked into reading the articles re-introducing her to the world as well.

Anyway, I digress.

CONGRATULATIONS on the big promotion JT’s girlfriend!!!

[cym0rg]

Nea Karlsson?

favorite thing about them

My favorite thing about Nea is the fact that she’s kind of a stealth-based character! I like the stealth mechanic in DbD alot, even though I know people hate when survivors do it, but honestly it’s my preferred style of playing. So I like that! I also think it’s pretty interesting how she was implied to be an arsonist with her street name “Mashtyx,” which sounds alot like matchsticks. Pair that with the fact that Crotus Penn burned down, and there’s an interesting theory there. 

least favorite thing about them

I don’t really like how sparse her backstory is, even by DbD standards. It’s a real shame, I usually love rebellious characters but for Nea, there’s a sad lack of understanding for why she behaves the way she does. The reason we do get is kinda flimsy and doesn’t make me sympathize with why she might be drawn to this destructive lifestyle. If they could update her lore and maybe explain what motivates her, I think I’d like her a lot more.

favorite line

“The paint’s dry, but I’m already long gone.”

brOTP

I love her with Kate, David because of their similar backgrounds, and Feng! I could totally see her flirting with the two girls, but overall I feel like they’d all get along with her really well. And Ace, because of his kinda “crazy uncle” type role.

OTP

Claudette!! Kind of a rarepair which is a shame, but I think that Claudette would be really impressed by Nea and all her boasting about how she’s never been caught. I think she’d have a huge crush on her and Nea would be kind of oblivious at first, but she realizes eventually and Claudette could be the supportive figure that Nea’s always needed.

nOTP

With almost any male character, sorry. I HC that she’s a lesbian so I just don’t see her with any dudes.

random headcanon

I like to think that part of the reason Nea acts out is because she’s desperate for approval. She was incredibly attached to her friends in Sweden, and after she came to America she was desperate to fit into any group to try and rebuild what she had. Her bitterness about having to leave and that desire to be part of a group is what contributed to her slide into delinquency. 

unpopular opinion

Uhh I guess that I don’t like Meg/Nea. It’s pretty popular but I just don’t see their relationship panning out that way. I think it’s way more interesting for them to have a relationship that borders on antagonistic because of their personalities, it’d be a disservice just reduce it to something romantic IMO.

song i associate with them

Bastille (ft. Kate Tempest and Jay Brown) - Forever Ever

favorite picture of them

I don’t really have one, so I’ll just say that I really like her Night Out cosmetic!Thanks for the ask!Send me a character!