#(or manifest a whole damn fic basically in a day that's what happened with my lupin iii story)

[vaguely-concerned]

how come my inability to write only ever seems to really lift when I'm on like four hours of sleep. what the hell is up with that. does the sleep deprivation starve my brain of the energy it normally uses to get in its own way and shock it into functioning for a brief window of time or what.

[justagalwhowrites]

New in Town - Ch. 9: Second New Year

Ringing in the New Year after you and Joel's first year together. The last chapter of New in Town, found in its entirety on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Best Friend's Dad!Joel Miller x Female Reader

CW: Smut :D. No use of Y/N. Age gap (reader is 35 Joel is 47, not a focus of the fic). Minors DNI, 18+ only

Length: 6.3k

AO3 | First Chapter | Previous Chapter

“Sarah, if you don’t stop fucking with that it’s never going to stay,” you said, glaring at her in the mirror as you drew on eyeliner. 

“It’s driving me insane,” she groaned, leaning so close to the hotel bathroom mirror that she was fogging it with her breath, adjusting the false eyelashes for what had to be the millionth time. 

“Yeah, because you keep fucking with them,” you said. “You have to give yourself time to adjust to them. Or just take them off because I’m not spending half the night fixing them for you, drawing the line in the sand now.” 

“You are absolutely no fun,” she said but she smiled all the same. “It’s New Year’s Eve, I want to look extra good. Plus Nick thinks the long lashes are hot and I am ready for hotel room sex.” 

“I didn’t hear that,” Maria called from the bedroom where she was putting on her dress. 

“Hotel room sex, hotel room sex, hotel room sex!” Sarah called back. 

You laughed, picking up your mascara. 

“I don’t think it works like Beetlejuice where you say it enough times it just shows up.”

Sarah laughed back. 

“Fuck I hope not,” she said. “Really don’t want to manifest hotel room sex in front of my aunt and my mom.” 

She said the last word with a drawn out teasing edge and you had to pull the mascara wand away from your face so you didn’t end up with makeup in your eye from laughing so hard. 

“Swear to God if you don’t stop calling me that I will marry your dad just to spite you,” you said once you calmed down again. 

“You’re basically already married anyway,” Sarah said. “For the record, I would be fine with it.” 

You paused for a second, putting more mascara on the wand and looking at her in the mirror. 

“Yeah?” You asked. 

“Yeah,” she smiled at you in her reflection. “But don’t expect Mother’s Day gifts from me if it ever happens.” 

You snorted, returning to your makeup. 

“Better get a bouquet, box of chocolates, the whole nine for holding your hair when you get drunk.” 

You couldn’t believe it was already New Year’s Eve again. The last year had gone by so fast it didn’t seem like it could have contained quite as much as it did. But you’d spent almost the entire time so blissfully happy that it made sense that the time felt so damn short. 

Things with Joel had been going so well before Sarah found out that it was hard to believe it could really get better, but it did. Not feeling like you were hiding from the most important person in both your lives was like losing a weight you didn’t even know you were carrying. Neither of you were dancing around talking about how you were spending your time now, not being careful about what pictures you sent her and not having to just pretend like a huge part of your life didn’t exist when talking with her. 

When she went back to Seattle after Thanksgiving, the three of you started having weekly FaceTime calls, you and Joel sometimes on your couch or at his kitchen table or even in a hotel room in New Orleans once when you decided to get away for your first trip together as a couple. 

That Christmas had been the best you’d ever had. Not that there was much competition but Joel and Sarah both had completely brought you into all their holiday traditions. The driving around to look at Christmas lights with a thermos of hot cocoa, the annual trip to Mi Tierra in San Antonio so you could properly appreciate the Christmas lights that apparently were up year round. When Sarah came back to town a few days before Christmas, she dragged you and Joel to the mall and made the three of you take a picture with Santa. You got some funny looks in line - three full blown adults with nary a kid in sight - but Sarah whispered something to woman getting ready to take the picture and she smiled and nodded, helping the three of you get arranged for the photo. You sat lightly on one of Santa’s knees, Sarah on the other, Joel leaning against the side of the large chair. Joel insisted on getting the actual printed photo and, when you picked it up, they also handed you a candy cane and a small Santa figurine. You frowned at it for a second.

“First Santa visits should be commemorated,” the woman behind the counter smiled. “Merry Christmas!” 

You looked at Sarah for a second, worried you might cry and she smiled. 

“You have a Christmas decoration now,” she said. “But if you really don’t want it at your place, we can add it to the Christmas village at Dad’s!” 

You just hugged her and she laughed, hugging you back. 

That Christmas, the figurine and the picture sat on the book shelf in your living room, right where you could see them from your couch. The perfect image of the kind of life you’d always wanted to have, one that was filled with people who loved you. 

This year, the figurine and picture were at Joel’s because you were, too. 

Your lease was up in the fall and, by that point, the two of you were having a hard time remembering the last time you’d slept apart. You were wondering how to broach the subject with Joel - did you just ask if you could move into his house? Was not quite a year of knowing each other too soon? Did you just find a new apartment and never mention it? - when he brought it up one night over dinner. 

“Your lease is comin’ up soon, right?” He asked and you froze for a second, a bite of enchilada on your fork half way to your mouth. 

“Yeah,” you said when you remembered how to move and respond again. “Six weeks I think? They want me to decide whether or not I’m staying within the next two…” 

“Have you thought about if you might want to move in with me?” He asked, his jaw tense but his eyes soft. “Only if… you know… you thought you were ready for that. Just figure I’m at yours or you’re at mine most nights anyway and…” 

“Joel,” you smiled, setting your fork down and leaning on the table with your arms crossed in front of you. “Are you asking me to move in with you?” 

“Only if you wanted,” he said quickly. “Not tryin’ to… I dunno… put pressure on you or something. Never tried to do this before so…” 

You pressed your lips together, trying not to laugh. More at yourself than at Joel. Because of course he was thinking what you were thinking. Of course you were in the same place on this. Of course you were both nervous about bringing it up to each other. 

“I’d love to move in with you,” you said once you were sure you had yourself together. “As long as you’re offering because that’s what you really want and not because you think you should.” 

“Oh I want it,” he was smiling now and leaning toward you across the table. “Was considering just taking stuff from your place and moving it to mine, get you in the door before you even knew it was happening.” 

“That what happened to my sexy underwear?” You teased. 

“Nah,” he waved you off. “I stole those to jerk off with when you’re not there because you don’t live with me yet. Can have ‘em back when we unpack the moving truck.” 

You moved in a few weeks later. Joel cleared out most of his closet, his jeans and button downs taking up only a small corner of it to begin with, and built you shelving for your purses and shoes. He made space for your things throughout his home, for your favorite pots and pans in the kitchen, for your decorations in the living room. Setting aside the bits and pieces of his life to make sure it could hold yours, too. If he’d asked you to marry him in that moment, you’d have said yes in a heartbeat. 

“Oh shit,” you sighed, rifling through your makeup bag. “I think I left my fucking lipstick in my room…” 

You went to get your room key from your clutch but Sarah plopped a tube of lipstick in front of you first. 

“Use mine,” she said. “I’m almost ready and I don’t want to waste time with you up down three floors and all the way over to your room before we go to the party. I want cocktails, I want music and I want to flirt with my hot boyfriend while I wear a slutty dress.” 

“Maria is still getting dressed, I’ve got five minutes…” 

“No you don’t!” She called from the bedroom before coming to the bathroom door and turning around. “Zip me?” 

You laughed and obeyed, Maria adjusting the dress a bit before turning back around. 

“Hey sexy mama!” You whooped at her. “That looks like it was made for you.” 

“Right?” She flung her long braids over her shoulder before admiring herself in the full length mirror on the bathroom door. “My pregnancy boobs have shown up but the bump is still in hiding. It’s the perfect dress moment, had to take advantage of it.” 

“Hear that little one?” Sarah said, looking toward Maria’s lower stomach. “You’re making your mom look hot!” 

“Hotter,” you corrected. “They’re making their mom look hotter.” 

You settled for Sarah’s lipstick and the three of you headed for the elevator to go meet up with the guys. 

Your first New Year’s Eve with Joel had been far more low key. Sarah was in town and Joel invited Tommy and Maria over to watch the ball drop. You’d ordered pizza and gotten drunk and played charades with your boyfriend’s family and, at midnight, kissed Joel so deeply that you could taste the champagne on his tongue. 

This year, you had plenty to celebrate. It was Maria and Tommy’s last one before they became parents - you highly doubted they’d be up until midnight next year. Sarah had gotten promoted and you’d gotten her a job at the Austin branch in August. She had moved back to town just a few months before you moved in with Joel and the three of you had found a comfortable - if unusual - dynamic as a family. And it felt like you had finally found everything you’d ever truly wanted. 

Instead of staying home this New Year’s Eve, you all decided to go to a party at one of the nice hotels in Houston. You’d all gotten hotel rooms so no one had to drive and the boys had all gone on ahead to the rooftop bar to hold a table while the three of you got ready to go. 

“Crap, one sec,” Sarah said, frowning at her phone as the three of you went for the elevator. “Left something in the room, wait for me, OK? I don’t want to try to find them on my own!” 

You and Maria watched her run back to her room - where the three of you had been getting ready - and you frowned as she tottered on her high heels. 

“Is she acting weird?” You asked as Maria leaned against the wall. 

“Sarah?” Maria laughed. “She’s always weird.” 

She came back a few minutes later, tugging her dress down as she went and a little breathless when she got there. 

“OK,” she smiled and took a deep breath. “Now we’re good!” 

You were almost giddy as you rode the elevator up to the party, feeling the thud of music through the elevator doors before they opened. 

It was hard to say why you were just so excited. It wasn’t like you’d never been to a party before - you and Sarah had rung in the New Year at a party a lot like this one that your office had handled the advertising for in Seattle one year - but it felt like something new. Like you were stepping into the first year of your life where everything had finally fallen into place. 

“Hey!” Tommy yelled, standing and waving his arm over his head as he saw the three of you leave the elevator. You could barely hear him over the thud of the bass. “Over here!” 

“How many beers do you think he’s had?” Maria asked conspiratorially and you laughed. 

“Probably the same number mine has,” you replied, smiling at Joel as he craned his neck to get a better look at you. 

“Holy hell woman,” he said, getting out of the round booth as you got to the table. He pressed a kiss to your cheek and dropped his voice low. “Not sure I’m gonna take that dress off you later, might need to leave it on.” 

You smiled as he gave you a squeeze and you sat down, Joel sliding in beside you, one hand of his going below the table to the inside of your thigh. 

One thing that hadn’t changed in the last year was just how insatiable the two of you were for each other. You kept waiting for it to calm down a bit, to stop looking at him and immediately start thinking of how to get him alone and naked as quickly as possible. But Joel was still the single sexiest man you’d ever seen and was still far and away the best in bed. You couldn’t help but want to fuck him all day every day. You were just thankful he seemed to feel the same way about you. 

One of your favorite things about living with Joel was your after work routine. When you managed to make it so you left the office around the same time Joel left his job site, you’d join him in the shower, your hair in a knot on top of your head to keep from getting too soaked, Joel still a little sweaty and dirty from a hard day’s work. Sometimes, you just enjoyed each other. You loved the quiet intimacy of it, of being in such a private space together in just your skin, helping him wash the day from his body before he pulled you against him under the water. Other times, Joel pressed you against the cool tile and fucked into you, hard and fast and eager, making your back arch as your leg wrapped around him, the heat of his mouth and the steam filling you when you kissed him. 

The new routines had just given you more reasons and opportunities to fuck, it seemed, instead of sex getting lost in the monotony of daily life. Sometimes it was in the middle of late night TV when you were both getting tired on the couch. Sometimes it was when you were putting away laundry. Sometimes it was when you were making dinner. 

It was just that, sometimes, it required… additional boundaries. 

Sarah had a key to Joel’s place, of course, but she quickly learned that she needed to announce herself before just coming in the door when she wasn’t expected, her walking in the house without warning when he was deep inside of you while you were draped over the kitchen counter was a little too close for comfort for all three of you. 

“I have literally never wanted to know less about your sex life,” she shuddered a few hours later when you were sitting in Joel’s back yard, fully clothed with a beer in your hand. 

You laughed. 

“Never wanted you to know less about it so that works just fine for me.” 

You, Joel and Sarah all had dinner together at least once a week, another routine you’d come to love, and you got Sarah all to yourself most days over lunch, happy for the chance to laugh with your best friend.

You weren’t sure life could get much better. 

“Oh sweet!” Sarah said as the waitress came by the table, tray of drinks in hand, passing a cosmopolitan to Sarah. “Who knew this was just what I wanted?” 

“Happy to take credit for that,” Nick smiled, kissing her cheek and you smiled at him. He was a relatively new addition to Sarah’s life but he seemed promising. You’d never seen her quite so giddy over a guy before and you were trying not to mention it so you wouldn’t jinx it. 

When she finally owned up to being hung up on the man, though, you were going to start teasing her as relentlessly as she’d been teasing you. You were getting double wedding jokes lined up and ready, waiting for the perfect moment to hit her with it. 

But it was a holiday. You’d take it easy on her for a little while longer. Assuming she stopped calling you Mom. 

Joel had been paying attention too, it seemed, and the server handed you a mojito. Appropriate, since you’d just been lamenting the fact that you didn’t have fresh mint at home just two nights before. 

“How often are you really gonna muddle mint for a drink?” Joel asked, barely contained smile on his face. 

“At least once in a while!” You laughed. “Come on, we could do a whole herb garden in the yard…” 

“You are not gonna keep a garden alive.” 

“Yes I will!” You protested. He raised his eyebrows at you, incredulous. “If I have the motivation of cocktails I will.” 

“Fine,” he sighed but still smiled, kissing your forehead. “In spring I’ll build you a garden and you can kill as many herbs as you want, Beautiful.”

“Is this supposed to bribe me into you not making me a garden?” You teased, taking a sip of the drink. 

“Baby, I will make you whatever makes you smile,” he kissed your exposed shoulder. “But if I’m saving the lives of some poor, innocent plants by ordering you a cocktail…” 

You laughed and kissed him, the scratch of his facial hair on your skin comforting and familiar. 

The party really picked up not long after you got there and you, Sarah and Maria went to dance while the guys hung back to talk for a bit. 

“You don’t think they’re being too hard on him do you?” Sarah asked, watching the table. 

“Oh I’m sure they’re being super nice,” you said. “Joel and Tommy have never been protective of you, not once.” 

“Oh God,” she groaned but she smiled. 

“Wouldn’t worry too much,” you laughed. “It looks like he’s weathering it well.” 

“Hold on,” Maria smiled and shook her head. “We can get him some help…” 

She started waving to Tommy, who clapped Nick on the shoulder and got out of the booth to join his wife on the dance floor. You looked at Joel, eyebrows raised, until he met your gaze and you saw him sigh and smile before heading your way. 

You put your arms around his neck and kissed him, pressing tightly to him and feeling every line of him through your clothes. His hands went to your waist, pulling you closer. 

“You tryin’ to distract me?” He asked when you pulled away. 

“Trying to get you to play nice,” you teased. 

“Always play nice,” he said as you turned around in his hold, your ass going back against his hardening length. He lowered his lips to your ear, his breath hot on your skin. “Except when you ask me not to.” 

You resisted the urge to drag him back to your hotel room right that second. Instead, you pressed yourself harder against him, moving your body in time to the pulsing, thrumming rhythm. His hands slid to your hips and you couldn’t help but think of how they felt on your bare skin. 

But you managed to keep it together for a few songs, dancing until you were breathless and you really couldn’t take it anymore. You draped yourself around Joel again, pressing your lips to his ear. 

“Order me a water and another mojito,” you said, your hand sliding into his pocket, brushing his half hard cock through his jeans, as you grabbed your phone. “And check your texts.” 

You didn’t give him a chance to respond, just meeting his wide eyes for a moment before slipping into the crowd. You went around to the pool area of the rooftop, far quieter than the bar and the dance floor, the lounge chairs all stacked up next to a storage space that looked like it would provide the perfect cover from the dance floor. You took a selfie with just a glimpse of the thudding party in the background and texted it to him. 

“Come find me.” 

It didn’t take him long, coming around the corner while glancing back over his shoulder, looking nervous. You grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him into you, your back against the storage room. 

“You are up to no good,” he said, pressing you back against the wall, his mouth covering yours, his body warm against the cool night air. “Tryin’ to get us kicked out of the damn hotel?” 

His hand went to your breast, anyway.

“We can keep our clothes on,” you panted against him. “Be very well behaved. Like that time in the bathroom.” 

“Fuck, Beautiful,” he groaned, putting his thigh between your legs, your skirt covering part of his jeans. He rocked his hips against you, his hands going to your waist, the outline of his hard cock against your stomach. “Wanna make me come in my pants like a fucking teenager?” 

“Don’t think we’re making it to midnight any other way,” you were needy, aching as you ground your pussy down on the straining muscle of his leg. 

“Still gonna let me fuck you later?” He kissed down your neck, rutting harder against you, your hands on his shoulders, grip tightening. 

“You think I’m starting a new year without you inside me as soon as possible you’re insane.” 

He laughed a little and nipped at your collarbone before pulling you tighter against his leg, making you moan. You started working yourself harder and faster against him, pulling him tighter to you, your wetness soaking your panties. 

“You’re close, aren’t you, Baby?” He asked, voice dark. Your motions stuttered but you nodded frantically against him. “Gonna come all over my fucking leg aren’t you? Come from just riding my fucking thigh?” 

You were close enough that you’d lost the ability to speak. You just nodded again and he kissed you, hard and messy and deep and you pressed yourself firmly against his leg as you fell apart, the tight coil inside yourself snapping as your clit throbbed against him. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He gasped as he pressed his cock hard against you and you felt him throbbing there, spilling into his jeans before slumping against you. His nose brushed yours for a moment and you smiled, kissing him lightly. 

“You’re going to kill me,” he laughed a little breathlessly. “More than a year into this and you still want me to fuck you so bad you’re dragging me away from a party?” 

“That’s nothing,” you teased. “Wait until we’re really old and we’re finding ways to sneak around the nursing home.” 

He laughed and kissed you again. 

“Love you so fuckin’ much.” 

It was easier to focus on the party after that. Tommy gave Joel a look when you made it back to the table and Joel told him to mind his own business and you laughed and drank your mojito. 

By the time midnight rolled around, you’d been pleasantly tipsy for more than an hour, draping yourself over Joel at every opportunity when you weren’t dancing with Sarah and Maria. As the countdown started, the six of you crowded onto the dance floor with everyone else, champagne in hand, Joel’s arm around you as he held you to his side. 

“Three, two, one!” 

Joel turned you to him and kissed you before you’d even had a chance to yell happy New Year and you sank into him, almost forgetting about the drink in your hand until some of it dribbled down your wrist, making you laugh against his lips. 

“Couldn’t let a second of the year go by before I kissed you for the first time,” he said, his lips still close to yours. The knot of heat and wanting that had eased after your antics earlier was back with full force. 

“Good,” you said quietly, drinking in the hungry look in his eyes. 

“It’s supposed to be a toast, you insatiable weirdos,” Sarah laughed and you laughed back, separating from Joel far enough to raise your glasses and toast with your new found family. 

It wasn’t long before all of you made your way to the elevators, piling into one with a handful of strangers, you happy for the excuse to stay pressed tightly against Joel. 

“Good luck!” Tommy said, a teasing edge to his voice when the doors dinged open on your floor. 

You frowned at him, confused, as the doors closed and you laughed a little as Joel led you back to the room. 

“Why do you need luck? Is Tommy under the impression that you have to work to get sex out of me?” You teased. “Because it’s sweet that you’d protect my honor that way but we both know that’s a damn lie.” 

“Tommy’s just a dumbass,” Joel replied. “Ignore him, that’s what I do.” 

You laughed, the tail end of your buzz waning. 

“Thinking we should take full advantage of that jacuzzi tub,” you said as Joel unlocked the hotel room door. “And use it to research the investment of a hot tub in the back yard…” 

“You’re insatiable,” he teased, opening the door for you. 

You laughed and were so busy looking at him - his thick, dark hair that was flecked with gray; his plush lips; his soft eyes - that it took you a second to realize there were roses and petals all over the room, a bottle of wine chilled in a bucket on the small table. 

“Joel?” You looked back at him and he just shrugged, smiling. 

You went further into the room and realized that it wasn’t just flowers and wine. There were framed pictures of you and Joel from the last year of your lives together. One of the two of you on Bourbon Street, another from when you decided to actually take those wine tasting classes you’d talked about, one from your second Longhorn’s game. There were at least a dozen, each one making it look so, so obvious that you made each other happy. That you gave each other the lives you wanted. 

You picked up the picture by the bedside, the first selfie you’d ever taken together. You were hiking and you’d held your arm out far enough to try to capture some of the view behind you. You were smiling hugely at the camera, hair grimy with sweat, Joel’s arm around your shoulders. But he wasn’t looking at the camera. Instead, he was looking at you. Looking at you like you were the only thing worth looking at. Looking at you like you made him happier than just about anything else on Earth. 

“What…” You trailed off, looking up from the picture to see Joel, on one knee with a box in his hands at the foot of the bed. 

You gasped and jumped, your hands covering your mouth on instinct, eyes wide. Your feet moved before you really realized what was happening and it seemed sudden that you were right in front of him.

“Joel,” you breathed, trembling hands slowly leaving your face. 

“For a very long time,” he said, his voice assured. “It felt like I’d gotten the only good thing I was going to get out of life. I had Sarah and seemed wrong to ask for more than that so I wasn’t lookin’ for it. Wasn’t lookin’ for you. But then I found you - or you found me, anyway - and I realized just how good life could be as long as I got to live it next to you. 

“You are the single best person I’ve ever met. You’re so smart and funny and creative and kind and the most fun I’ve ever had and I can’t imagine anything better than getting to live the rest of my life with you. Will you make me the happiest man on Earth and marry me?” 

***

Joel wasn’t sure his heart had ever beat this fast. Maybe when Sarah was first born and there were the torturous few seconds of silence before she started crying, not sure how anything about pregnancy or babies worked. Definitely never since. 

But the silence between you seemed to drag on for an eternity even though he knew it could have only been a second or two. That didn’t stop his heart from racing. 

“Yes,” you nodded, your voice thick, tears in your eyes. “Yes, yes, yes, yes yes!” 

You damn near tackled him and he laughed, catching you and holding onto you as he lowered the two of you to the ground on a bed of rose petals. 

Joel, Tommy and Nick had been in here getting everything set up while Sarah and Maria kept you busy in Sarah’s room. There was a brief moment of panic when Sarah texted that the three of you were headed to the party and Joel had to ask her to buy at least two minutes because they were walking to the elevator themselves. 

“I’m so happy for you, man,” Tommy said, clapping Joel on the shoulder as they headed up to the party. “You deserve this, you really fuckin’ do.” 

“She ain’t said yes yet,” Joel said, feeling the nerves all sudden and hot under his skin. “Don’t jinx it.” 

“She’ll say yes,” Tommy said, sounding so confident. “Don’t ask me WHY but that woman adores you. She’s gonna love it.” 

He hoped you did. He hoped you loved the idea at all, that you loved the proposal, that you loved the ring. Sarah had helped pick that part out so he was more confident of that, finding a piece that was elegant without looking dated, something that he hoped you’d like wearing for the rest of your life. 

Because that’s what he wanted. He wanted you, wanted to make you happy, for the rest of your life. 

He slid the ring onto your finger, the diamond catching the light as he did. 

“Are you serious?” You asked, looking from the ring to him. 

“Serious about spending the rest of my life with you?” He asked. “Can’t think of anything better.” 

You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him, hard and needy. He leaned into it for a moment before he pulled back from you. 

“Should move to the bed,” he breathed. “Gotta treat my fiancee right.” 

You just nodded quickly and Joel got up before helping you to your feet. 

He tugged your dress up and over your head - as much as he wanted to fuck you in the sexy little thing you’d been tempting him with all night, the need to feel your skin was too great - and eased you down onto the bed. 

You moved to the middle of it and Joel got undressed, his eyes watching you hungrily, the glint of his ring on your finger making him somehow even harder. You removed your bra and cast it aside before you slipped your panties down your legs and tossed them to the side, leaving you exposed and bare. You were everything it seemed like he’d ever wanted and you were his, the proof of it right there on your hand. He fisted his cock, pumping himself once, twice, as he climbed between your legs. 

He wanted to make this last. He wanted to go down on you and swallow your pleasure until you were screaming with it. He wanted to kiss every inch of your skin. He wanted to tease you with his fingers until you were begging for his cock. But he wasn’t sure he could, not that moment. He had a feeling you wouldn’t be leaving the bed for a few days after this.

“Joel,” you panted, watching him, pupils blown and back arched. He smiled. For some reason, you wanted him like he wanted you. 

“Yes, Mrs. Miller?” He breathed, settling between your open legs, the apex of your thighs hot against his skin. You moaned and rocked your hips up against him, your needy little clit pressing into his skin. 

“Fuck,” you moaned, closing your eyes, fingers gripping his bicep tightly. “Love the sound of that…” 

“You have no idea, Beautiful,” he said, kissing you, grinding his cock against your dripping slit. You moaned, the movement of your hips stuttering for a moment before you adjusted the angle so the tip of him was catching on your entrance with ever pass, just enough for the most sensitive part of him to be enveloped in your tight, wet heat. 

“Need you,” you were almost gasping with it, desperate and wanting. “Please, please, need to feel you, I need…” 

“Always going to give you what you need, Baby,” he said, his cock dipping further into you this time before he pulled back and pushed himself against your clit again. “Always gonna take care of you, always.” 

He pushed into you then, firm but not to fast, your breath catching on your throat as he did. Joel kissed you, trying not to think about how damn good you felt, how it seemed like he belonged right there, deep inside you. 

“Fuck,” your nails dug into him but he held on. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good how do you feel this fucking good?” 

He could only moan in response, fucking into you, feeling you open up to him, your walls gripping him tight. He stayed still inside you for a moment, savoring it, the feeling of you around him while he was over you, the way you held onto him. 

But he couldn’t last that way for long. You - his fiancee. His fiancee, no one else’s, you belonged to no one but him - felt too damn good for him to last too long inside of you and he had to move, he had to. 

So he did, starting a little slower but still firm, pressing his hips into you so your hot little clit was against his skin. 

He could feel you starting to tighten around him, like your body was trying to pull him deeper somehow, your lips messy and desperate when they found his, trialing little kisses over his body when they don’t. 

“That’s it, Beautiful,” he panted into you. “Come for me, can feel how close you are, just let go for me, let me feel you. Need to feel you…” 

You gasped his name and pressed your whole body tight against him as you came around him, your pussy fluttering around him, working his cock, all warm and soft trying to pull him as deep as you could take him. He fucked you through it, hardly able to hold off his own orgasm, the aftershocks of yours still rippling through your tight channel when he emptied himself into you until he didn’t even have the strength to hold himself up anymore, collapsing on you, his head over your shoulder so he could smell your skin and your hair. Fuck, he loved that smell. Fuck, he loved you. 

After a minute, he adjusted the two of you so you were draped over his chest, your arms all soft and pliant, close enough that he could feel your heartbeat on his skin, feel your soft, little breaths on him. You held up your left hand, turning the ring back and forth in the light. 

“You’re sure about this?” You asked, glancing up at him as you fidgeted with the ring. 

“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything,” he said. “Would make you Mrs. Miller tomorrow if you’d let me.” 

You laughed a little at that, putting your hand down on his chest and taking a deep breath. 

“Doesn’t seem fair,” you said softly. 

“What doesn’t?” 

“You’ve given me so much,” you said. “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted - everything. Feels like I’m not holding up my end.” 

“You kiddin’ me?” He scoffed. “You’re so perfect I have to remind myself that you’re real sometimes, that I’m not just imagining you. You make me the luckiest man on Earth every damn day by just breathing in the same room as me. If anything’s not fair, it’s that I got too greedy asking you to marry me. Should know to quit when I’m this far ahead.” 

You laughed and pressed your lips into his chest, looking at the ring again, twisting it this way and that with your thumb. 

“Make you a deal,” you said, adjusting your head so you were looking at him. 

“What’s your proposal?” He asked, teasing. 

“You take care of me,” you said. “Make sure I’m not getting too overwhelmed or overdoing it at work or just getting too in my own head. I’ll take care of you, make sure you take time for yourself, make sure you relax, make sure you know how great you are. Deal?” 

He smiled a little. 

“Deal, Mrs. Miller.” 

You smiled bigger. 

“Excellent, Mr. Miller.” 

He kissed your forehead. 

“Don’t have to change your last name, you know,” he said, giving you a squeeze. “I can always just call you that for my own damn enjoyment without making it official.” 

You laughed a little. 

“No, I want to change it,” you said. “Sarah was right all along. I think I’m going to make a great Miller.” 

A/N: Ahhh! I hope you all loved reading the story of Joel and Sarah's best friend as much as I loved sharing it! These two are so fun and so sweet, I'm so glad I got to give them the happy ending they deserved.

Thank you so so much for being here, for following along with this little story that started as a one shot based on a request that came in after I wrote another one shot as a request. I so appreciate that you're here, that you've spent your time with this fic and these characters and all of your support. This corner of the internet means everything to me and it's because you're a part of it <3 Love you!

Taglist: @fanficismydrug

[milkiedimitrescu]

yall I just had a whole shadows of rose dream of alcina helping rose in a way during her journey 😭❤️(i wrote this as a fic before but never finished it. But I may rewrite it in the future to look onto that 👀)

(slight long post warning btw)

ANYWAYYYSSS!!!

This dream was quite short so it starts off with Rosemary running from one of those faceless monster things and there is this orb (alcina) that is roaming around helping rose with her every need. Then the dream cut to Rose about to be attacked by this big ass dude right here:

But THEEEEN, orb alcina comes in to save the day and swarms the monster, uses some sort of sketchbook (using some sort of telekenisis), draws HER arm holding a damn glock AND THEN THE THING COMES TO LIFE WHAT THE FUCK??? Naur cause alcina was swarming the monster at the time just to distract it and she even went as far as shooting the thing with a damn drawing and the drawing was shooting damn bullets. Alcina the orb tells rose to Run and get out of here or something. Rose does just that and thats when the dream cut off and I woke up.

To give more detail on how Alcina looked as an orb, it was basically this photo right here. I tried to find a more accurate one.

Now, my thoughts and theories!!! Because now i have lots of thoughts about this dream and whether or not I should bring this idea to life.

What I am theorizing is that the lords are all little balls of energy that can go invisible and visible. Similar to ethan in the original Shadows Of Rose DLC, they are able to write messages on the walls leading whoever is in the megamycete with them in order to lead them to the right direction. They are able to manifest themselves into their normal human walking type forms whenever they please. They can just basically do anything as an orb. The Lords can also speak as an orb also as shown in my dream, (alcina telling rose to run even though shes a fuckin ball of energy flying around).

My thoughts are plain simple. I'M INTERESTED AS FUCK AS WHAT MY BRAIN HAS CREATED WHAT. The storyline of this dream was so god damn interesting like i swear to god I might write this shit.

Possible??? Fanfic remake of "How Shadows Of Rose Should Have Been" storyline???

Alright... I know I mentioned this a million times already but I still cannot get this idea of my dream of shadows of rose being a fanfic. I will just write out how the storyline would play out only in the beginning, since I do not want to spoil anything.

The story begins with Rosemary walking to the dude on the bench like the original game and they start talking and stuff and then she mentions how she wants to get rid of her powers. Rose even went as far as calling herself a freak and the man assures her she is not a freak and we will find a way to make that happen. And now cut, they are now at the lab where this tiny piece of the megamycete is stored inside a jar glowing on and off as to show it is still alive.

The man explains that the megamycete might be the key to getting rid of her powers. That she may have to go INSIDE the megamycete in order to achieve that. Rose asks how she should do this? Well, the man explains to her that maybe she should close her eyes and focus on the jar while reaching her hand to it. He comments that this is only his guess as he does not really know if this would even work or not.

She did just that, and it worked. Her whole vision went white and she woke up in that one place in the original DLC where she was surrounded by windows of memories of people. She even saw her mom and dad arguing over something. She heard voices, lots of voices getting louder and louder as she fell through the atlantic void that is under the ocean. She couldnt take it anymore and told the void to SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Yes I will make her curse here just for shits and gigs

Now... She wakes up inside the same lab. But there is catch. This wasn't the same lab as the previous one. It was a copy of it. A more dim light version of it. She called out for the man and she was only left in silence so she went through the door that was in front of her.

The door led her to the dungeon and remember how Alcina was the one to be behind those closed doors?(If you had read the fic before ofc. If not, that is alright. Just take this as a spoiler.) How when Rose found the key to help the supposed woman who was trapped in a room and even going as far to go inside the room and nobody was there. Well is is more different in the remake.

There was also a giant puddle of mold in which a giant hand grabs rose by the feet and then....

Her vision goes black. She begins to wake up and she was in a white void... Not just any white void... She was in a field of white flowers with grey grass surrounding her. Rose realized she was laying down and got up and now looked everywhere. There was no end to this black and white field of grass and white roses. She went on to explore until she came across a strange orb floating in mid air. She literally asks herself what is this and touches it and suddenly it explodes. White light everywhere to the point Rosemary had to squeeze her eyes shut.

When she reopened them... the orb was gone. And her reality began to crumble before her eyes and she was now back in the dungeon. She was in the same room she found herself in and was right next to the giant puddle of mold. When she turned around to leave, guess what was there?

The same orb. Now it was talking to her. Telling her to follow it. Rose only stared in awe.

AND THAT'S ALL!!! hope ypu had fun on this journey with me yeah���👍 Milkie out.

[love-a-little-less-archived]

So I decided that for my day nine, I’d do a list of some of my favorite fics to give the fandom authors some recognition. Of course, all of our fanfic authors are amazing and I’m so grateful that they do what they do, but these are just a few of my favorites. 

I tried to tag any authors that had a tumblr account, but it’s entirely possible I missed some, so if I did, sorry

This post isn’t super long but it’s pretty damn long so all below the cut

(also do note that my interest in bellarke is only a few months old so I have a lot more clexa fics than I do bellarke sorry)

Bellarke

Canon AU

Set The Dark On Fire by @talistheintrovert (complete)

Okay okay so this is a pretty dark fic, but god is it beautiful. After waking up from Cryo, Clarke and Spacekru try to figure out what to do about this new planet situation, but Clarke isn’t handling it very well and attempts a suicide. Like I said, pretty dark and serious, so if that isn’t your thing don’t read, but it’s amazing

Three Lives, Three Loves, One Face by @these-dreams-go-on (complete)

This fic has a ton of my favorite themes all mashed together and it’s amazing. Basically it’s similar to the Josephine!Clarke situation of s6, but Wanheda is an actual manifestation also inhabiting Clarke’s body so when Josie gets put into Clarke, Wanheda takes over and goes mass murder on Sanctum. Phenomenal fic, I’ve read it so many times and I adore it

Into The Anomaly by @fuckitup-in-style (WIP)

Time Travel AU!!! Starts after s6, but resets back to s1 canon divergence. The hundred all wake up on dropships and they all remember up until their deaths, and then it’s this thing where the mains all take charge and start herding up their crew. Just- if you like time travel fix-its, this is p e r f e c t please read it

And Now You’re Home by @asroarke (complete)

I just read this one recently and g o d is it amazing. After being left alone during Praimfaya, Clarke finds herself becoming desperate after being alone for so long. Until she finds out there’s been a grounder watching her the whole time. Grounder!Bellamy AU, with some accidental pregnancy that just makes it even cuter

Modern AU

I Found Peace in Your Violence by @eyessharpweaponshot (WIP)

I just found this fic a few days ago and holy shit is it a piece of art. I finally went through and read the entire 80k fic last night, it’s absolutely enthralling. Basically, there’s this gene called HTS and Clarke ends up having it, and so does Bellamy, and it’s just a beautiful story from both a romance and a plot standpoint. Such an interesting concept

our stars came in a packet of two by @millipop (WIP)

This isn’t a super long fic, it’s 20k right now and hasn’t been updated in a few months but what’s there is amazing. So the delinquent group is desperately trying to get Bellamy and Clarke together since they’re constantly denying their chemistry, but what the delinquents don’t know is that Clarke and Bell have actually already been together in secret and it’s such a fun fic, highly recommend

Don’t Wake Me, I’m Not Dreaming by grumpybell (complete) (I can’t find their tumblr sorry)

A very interesting AU where Clarke can see into other people’s dreams. She’s been meeting Bellamy in his dreams for years, him being the only person who could actually see her. Guess what happens when they meet in person? Probably not what you expect. Read the fic to find out, you’ll love it

reelin’ through the midnight streets by @detectivebellamyblake​ (WIP)

I haven’t finished this fic yet, but what I’ve read so far is wonderful. Basically Clarke, Bell and Octavia all grew up in a trailer park together, and eventually Clarke has had enough of her mom’s bullshit and decides to get out. Bellamy and Octavia go with her

Clexa

Canon AU

Broken Body, Broken Spirit by @vmplvr1977 (complete)

I love love love this fic!! It basically mashes together the worlds of The 100 and Deus-ex, and if you don’t know what the latter is don’t worry too much, the fic gives all the backstory you’ll need!! Basically Clarke gets severly injured and ends up with augmented limbs, and Lexa, thinking Clarke dead, has some pretty severe reactions to it all. Kind of an enemies-to-lovers, but it’s set after the s2 finale

Clarke Kom Azgeda by FMLClexa (WIP)

This fic combines so many of my favorite ideas it’s amazing. Coming back after a long hiatus, basically Clarke gets sent down to Earth alone and ends up in Azgeda territory. She’s tortured and trained into Nia’s top assassin for years, and eventually gets the order to infiltrate Polis and kill the commander. You can guess how that goes

A Riffle and the Sea by Follower_Of_Mania (complete)

I will say it’s been a while since I read this fic but it’s amazing. Another Clarke gets sent to Earth alone AU, but she gets adopted by Floukru and trained to be a seriously badass killer grounder, like even Lexa is pretty put off by her. Clarke and Lexa develop this really interesting relationship where half the time you can’t tell if they love or hate each other and it’s amazing

Ascendants by whiteleopard1124 (WIP)

So this isn’t entirely clexa, it’s also clarke x luna but it’s clexa enough. Basically Clarke and the hundred get injected with this solution before being sent to the ground, and it causes certain people to develop supernatural powers. But Clarke gets injected with a special serum that causes her to be extra-OP but like in a very very good way

doing the impossible (with you) by snowandwolves (WIP)

Another Time Travel AU where Clarke kills herself and, after having a discussion with the goddess of death herself, wakes up back in time. She (and her accomplices) work out how to rewrite their story and make everything go better than it did last time. One of the best time travel fics, in my opinion

Healer on the Ground by Owlmemaybe (WIP)

This has long been one of my favorite fics, I love AUs where Clarke turns grounder, and that’s exactly what this is. Basically Clarke has a healing talent, so she can heal herself and others on command, and during s1 gets separated from the 100 and ends up with Heda. Another fic that isn’t likely to get updated, but it’s 100k of goodness that you h a v e to read

Whispers In The Dark (Lead Us To The Light) by JadelynDeath (WIP)

This one also hasn’t been updated very recently, but it’s still 50k good words to enjoy. Wanheda!Clarke AU where Death is a real being and takes a liking to Clarke before she even touches the ground, and once on Earth Clarke is an absolute badass in leading the delinquents.

(my) Destruction Within Your Mouth by @entirelytookeen (WIP)

It took me so long to actually finish this fic once I started reading because oh my god the angst, it was actually too much for me. This is a beautifully written story, so many emotions, can’t recommend it enough. Basically, Clarke gets separated from the 100 and ends up temporarily mute while she’s taken in by Heda

She’s a maniac by ChocDog (complete)

Another big-time favorite, this has badass commanders Heda and Wanheda. The grounder culture is different in this fic, but in such a good way. They’re much more tribal than is portrayed in the show, preferring not much clothing, bloodthirstiness, but it’s amazing. Also Bellamy comes in and makes a fuss of things

Through the Looking Glass by RhinoMouse (WIP)

Role Reversal AU where Lexa comes down with the 100 and Clarke is a BAMF Commander of the grounders. It’s been a really long time since I’ve read this one but I remember loving every second of it. Faintly follows the s2 plot, but it’s different enough that not a second of it is boring

Can you See Me? by clexawarrior (complicated)

Okay so basically this story was discontinued, but the author left a summary of how it would’ve played out at the end, so it’s... complicated. But this is another one of my favorites!! Lexa was at the explosion on the bridge and got injured, Clarke brings her back to the dropship to care for her. A lot of sexual tension ensues

From The Ashes by ArchonsVoice (complete)

I love love love this fic!!! So basically the dropship landed in the sea rather than on land, the ship explodes, leaving Clarke stranded alone in the middle of the ocean. She’s rescued by a clan called Tseekru and after years of living with them, has a run-in with our one and only Heda and sets this whole thing going. Amazing fic, so many twists

Returning to Hell by ElseworldKara, littleraider99 (complete)

If you haven’t read this fic what have you even been doing honestly. Set two years after the s2 finale, Clarke leads the coalition beside Heda, and she’s returned to Arkadia to finally tell them to get their shit together or suffer the consequences. Very dark, a lot of character bashing on Abby, Bellamy, and others. An inspiration for many of my own fics

Then There Were Two by TheWorldNeedsMoreOctaven (WIP)

I haven’t read the most recent chapters of this, but it’s phenomenal. ABO universe where Clarke is the only omega sent down in the hundred (later followed by Raven), and they have to deal with the grounders and nature. It’s a lot more interesting than I make it sound, promise. Also very octavia/raven based too

Doctor on the Ground by @underneaththecovers-au (WIP)

Very angsty, very smutty fic. Clarke finds an injured Lexa while out of camp and takes her to the bunker to help her heal. Lexa pretends she can’t understand English, but even with the barrier, things get heated very quickly. You can imagine the chaos when Lexa’s secret gets out. Must-read

Modern AU

Vantage Point by thatoneloser_kid (complete)

This is pretty short, only 16k words, but god is it good. If you like dark!clarke, this is the story for you. Clarke, Lexa, Octavia, and Raven are all a bunch of criminals who run around- saving people?? That makes it sound like a superhero story but no, they’re all badass. Clarke is literally a psychopathic ex-assassin. It’s just an amazing fic

Are You A Kidnapper? (Because You Abducted My Heart) by 707 (complete)

This isn’t normally the type of fic that I like to read but I’m so glad I picked it up. So Clarke and Lexa have this hatred going on between them that’s actually just hidden attraction, and they’re finally forced to address it when they get kidnapped and locked in a room together. This fic has it all, fluff, smut, angst, an amazing plot, it’s just all around wonderful

Make Two Halves Whole by awkwardrainbow, Lexawoodz (WIP)

This one I also don’t remember all that much about other than that it was amazing. It’s been years since it was updated, though, so I doubt we’ll get any more, but what’s there is 80k worth of goodness. Clarke and Lexa meet online through Twitter, living on opposite sides of the US, but still manage to fall in love with each other

breathe into my lips the life i do not have by @ur-the-puppy (complete)

So this is another long-time favorite of mine!! It’s a 36k oneshot where Clarke moves into a house that ghost Lexa haunts but instead of being creeped out Clarke just starts chatting up the ghost and they become roommate buddies. Such a good fic, I highly highly recommend this one

You See the Smile That's On My Mouth (it's hiding the words that don't come out) by heartshapedcandy (complete)

Another fic I need to go back and reread, but I remember being absolutely absorbed in this fic!! Childhood friends to lovers AU, with a fuck ton of angst and confusion and oblivious pining dorks that you can’t help but love it to death. Also a lot of ‘’’’platonic’’’’ kissing

Other AU

Storm of the Heart by @cruellanita-bby (WIP)

Mermaid AU!! Clarke lives on an island where they grow up hating the mermaids that attack their fishing ships, and she hates them too until she finds Lexa the mermaid washed up on the shore, injured, and starts taking care of her. They fall in love and try to mend the relationship between their people. I’ve been keeping up with this one for a while, it’s so good, please read it

Hold Me Till The Stars Dim by @ur-the-puppy (complete)

I’m putting this one down here rather than in modern AU just because of how different it is from most modern AUs. Lexa goes camping with her friends out in the woods, some shit happens, and she meets what’s basically grounder Clarke, with a twist. This fic is so captivating, I loved it

You’re safe with me by I_am_clexa (WIP)

ABO modern AU where omegas are sold as slaves to alphas. Clarke is an omega who is bought by Lexa’s father as a gift to her, but Lexa doesn’t like the way omegas are treated and goes out of her way to give Clarke the best life she could possibly have

Other Pairings

Canon AU

Three Loves (Pieces Of Us) by @kendrene , @bae-in-maine (WIP)

Clarke/Lexa/Anya fic where Anya takes Clarke back to Lexa as a kind of prize, Clarke ends up making an alliance with the Trikru and maybe also falling in love with the commander and her general along the way. I’ve read this fic so many times, but it hasn’t been updated in years. It’s still 150k worth of amazing fic though

Twisted Steel by Steelehart (complete)

A clarke/raven fic where an explosion on the Ark leaves Clarke with two prosthetic arms. Follows fairly closely to the s1 plot once you get into it, but deviates in the later chapters. It’s an amazing fic I promise, please read it

Modern AU

and four makes home by @dreamsheartstory (complete)

This is over 300k worth of Clarke/Lexa/Octavia/Raven, which seems like a lot but I promise you it’s perfect. It’s been a bit since I read this, but from what I remember it’s your typical fall-in-love modern fic, just with the added angst of figuring out a four-way poly relationship

[evilbeanghost]

Snapetober 

Here is my participation #4: Day 8 Secret Injury.

You can also find it on AO3.

So, this is a little interlude in the universe of my current WIP "That Awful Snape Boy" (you can of course find it on AO3 too). I'm not sure it actually fits anywhere in the timeline of the main fic but it's like a mini-AU in the same world. 

For those who are not reading it: basically, McGonagall ends up adopting Severus at the beginning of his 3rd years at Hogwarts. It's a long road for them, a difficult one but also full of love and care. This little moment would fit during their first summer holiday together.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus was trying to keep up with his guardian, fighting against the heavy limp he was now sporting. Damn leg! Minerva was pretty far away, zigzagging between the shop's aisles at what seemed to Severus like lightening speed. How could this woman move that fast?

She had taken him on an impromptu outing that morning, seemingly out of nowhere. While he admitted now that he enjoyed spending time with Minerva, he had been in pain all night, and anyway: shopping was definitely taking it a little too far… He had tried to stay at the cottage, but she was adamant that she wouldn't leave him alone for a whole day like that. Severus had replied that he was left alone at his parent's for days on end since he was three: it didn't seem to placate her… the suggestion only putting that little spark of anger in her eyes, as it often was the case when his biological parents were discussed. 

Apparently, even fourteen years old were not to be left alone for that long? Severus thought she was being a little extreme with this: Lily and Petunia sometimes spent the whole day alone in the summer when both their parents had to work! 

He tried not to look too much into his feeling that this was linked to the little sad moods he had been experiencing lately. She was worried about him and he felt like trash because of it. Why couldn't he just be happy? What more did he need seriously? He was a pathetic, ungrateful piece of garbage. A useless worm.

The pain flared up suddenly and, giving up, he stopped behind a jackets' display to let his leg rest a little. This was going to be a long day…

He only had himself to blame for this one, as usual. The day before, he had been running on the Scottish beach near the cottage – just enjoying the fresh hair, the calming music of the sea and the freedom of it all – when he had stepped on a treacherous rolling stone and twisted his knee quite badly. It had hurt like Hell at the time. Severus remembered having literally seen a white flashing light for a moment at the intensity of the pain. However, after having taken some tentative steps in the sand, it was still hurting of course but not as much and not to the point where he could not walk at all (he admitted now that it had been quite worse after having rested his knee all night unfortunately).

He had felt really bad about it, somewhat guilty too. It was like the universe was trying to remind him than freaks like him didn't deserve the mindless fun of a run on a beautiful, deserted, white-sanded Scottish beach. Those things weren't for disgusting kids like him, what had he been thinking?

To be honest, it was only mid-July and this first summer holiday with Minerva was already surreal. He had a room here too, to his stupefaction since he wasn't aware at all that she had made any preparation before they came together to spend the summer here, and hot chocolate was offered even more frequently than during the school year. 

Severus, however, felt somewhat unsettled by it all. Everything was… weird? He didn't feel like he should have those things, like Minerva's kindness was deserved on his part. He also had moments when he just felt… empty? Sad? Like nothing really mattered and everything was just grey and not worth it. It was scary and it had been sapping his energy in waves since the start of the holidays. Without school to distract him from it, it was suddenly worse than it had been all year.

All of that made it even more critical that he didn't end up bothering Minerva with again another thing that would add to her already worried state. He just felt like she would be so much better without the like of him really… He was the worse thing that had ever happened to her.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The boy had been quiet all day, moody even. Minerva had tried to ask him what shop he had wanted to do next – it was after all his first outing in an all-wizards town in the Outer Hebrides – but she didn't seem to be able to have him engaged with their little trip. 

It was a shame since it had been an excuse for just that in the first place. She was so worried about him… He had been moody, withdrawn and quite frankly sad since the beginning of the holidays and even his obvious joy at discovering the cottage and the magnificent scenery of her Harris' cottage didn't last very long. 

Minerva sighed. The day had been a failure in the end…  they were making their way back to the isolated little cottage, walking in the fine sand on the beach, with a magnificent sunset in the background; and yet their hearts were as heavy as the silence between them. 

She turned her head to make sure Severus was still following her – he had been lagging behind all day – when she suddenly caught him grimacing in pain, his left leg giving way beneath him before he caught himself and tried to speed up with a set expression on his little face. 

"Severus Snape, you stop where you are young man!", she said to him at once, alarmed.

Startled, Severus stopped in his tracks and looked at her with that worried expression of his, making her heart hurt for him once again. She felt like her anger at his parents was never going to fade away. Her anger at herself too, for not having seen, for not having stopped this three years before, when she first saw the scrawny first year entering the Great Hall for the first time. Too small, too thin, too intense and crafty for a child his age. How could they have missed it? That question was never going to stop haunting her.

The boy was looking at her, directly into her eyes with that defiant expression that used to infuriate her but that she knew now was just his way of being scared, and said nothing, waiting for whatever was going to fall on his head this time – there always was way too much resignation in his expression.

"Is your leg hurting, Severus?", she asked softly, using her newfound "motherly voice" in an attempt to reassure him that he wasn't in trouble at all. This script between them was certainly getting old.

"It's nothing, I can deal with it."

"It doesn't seem like it's nothing when it's making you limp and stumble like that. It looks painful too. What did you do?", Minerva asked, worried.

"It's nothing, really… just… I twisted my knee a little yesterday, I won't do it again I promise, please, don't be mad at me?"

"Oh, Severus. How many times do I have to tell you that I won't be mad at you for things that are outside of your power. Come here child, let me see."

She wanted to hug him tight, that smart, broken child; but she knew that he still wasn't always comfortable with physical manifestations of affection so she refrained herself. 

Looking sheepish, he limped towards her, looking at his feet, like a criminal having been caught red-handed.

"Sit on the sand Severus, and pull your trouser leg above your knee please, I want to see what we're dealing with here."

And as often, he did just that. Minerva was still quite taken by surprise by this… and they all thought that he was a model of insolence just a year ago… The child was in reality quite mild on a teenager's antics scale. Or maybe she knew how to handle him now?

She crouched before him, her back protesting at once, and looked at his injury closely. His poor knee was blue and swollen, very painful looking. How on earth had he been able to walk on that all day was beyond her.

"Severus, child, why didn't you tell me? This is a pretty bad sprain I think… I won't be able to treat it right away… but really, you're not walking another foot on this, that's for sure."

"But…"

"No buts. I will cast a feather-light charm on you and carry you to the cottage. I should have some Every-Day-Destrainer-Cream there. Would that be alright?"

"Yes… but you don't have to, I can walk, we're nearly there anyway."

"This isn't a negotiation! What's the first rule for living with me, Severus?"

He looked suddenly annoyed, making her smile fondly, that for once so common manifestation of teenage rebellion at the prospect of any discussion about house rules was comforting. Her whole guardian experience was so backwards… Worried when her child was quiet, happy when he was being a reluctant teenager.

"I'm not allowed to do anything dangerous or that can hurt me in any way."

"Exactly! Now, don't move", Minerva did the wand gesture, casting the spell non-verbally on her young charge, "and it's done!"

They looked a little silly, the middle-aged witch carrying the gangly adolescent on her back towards their little cottage. Minerva certainly didn't mind. 

That silly, moody child was not going to be in pain anymore, she sweared it. She was going to heal him, and not just the knee, damn it.

[pappydaddy]

Say It (Three Words pt.2) (s.h)

a/n: gosh! i wrote this so long ago, look at baby pappydaddy’s first ever imagine! so much has changed since i posted this, it’s kinda crazy to look back upon this. anyway, i am here to say that i am going to revamp this fic! i’ll rewrite it eventually, but for right now, i am making it look somewhat like my newer fics!

and yes, i reused the a/n from part one since now, i would have just made this one part instead of two😅!

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

not requested

tv show/movie: stranger things

warnings: angst, just basic relationship things.  

part i  | part ii - you are here!

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -  

  The entire drive over to the Henderson residence, where this weeks movie night was being held, was filled with Robin talking endlessly about the plan she concocted to give Steve the perfect time to tell y/n he loved her. Robin was excited, her hands moving wildly in the air as she talked, too busy to look at Steve as he drove. While Robin couldn’t help but feel excited, Steve couldn’t help but feel like he was driving to his death - his own personal Dooms Day. With each passing second the tires of his maroon BMW rolled closer to Dustin’s house, he feel the pending doom looming over him more and more, like an ugly black coated monster. 

  “This is going to be perfect, as long as you don’t mess it up,” Robin spoke through an exhale, her hands falling to rest on her jean clad thighs. Steve hummed, not really listening to what she was saying. He was too caught up in the fact that in a matter of one minute, he could wreck his relationship. Robin finally looked over at him, shooting him a glare as he turned onto Dustin’s street. “You have to do it tonight, Steve. Just do it and whatever happens happens, you two are both adults, you can talk about it if it doesn’t go perfectly.” She reminded him. 

  “Yeah, you’re right, we can talk about what happens next if she isn’t ready yet. That’s an option. Or we could break-up and I could die.” He spun out, slowing his speed down to make the drive last longer, not wanting to pull into the Henderson’s driveway just yet. He wanted to prolong the drive as long as he can, wanting to think out every scenario, especially the one where she says she doesn’t love him and Steve’s heart is ripped out of his chest and stomped on once again. 

  “You’re not going to die, y/n loves you - even if she’s not ready to say it yet, sh does,” Robin told him honestly. “Besides, the worst thing that could happen is she says she’s not ready, doesn’t mean you will break up.” Robin felt like a broken record at this point, but she knew she had to keep saying it in order for it to get through Steve’s thick head. 

  “No, the worst thing that could happen is that I die because she thinks I’m creepy.” Steve told her. Robin groaned loudly, slamming her head back against the headrest, her eyes squeezed shut in annoyance. She had him convinced in the store that she wasn’t going to say no, but the second they started to drive, he was right back to thinking she was going to shatter his heart. 

  “I am this close to punching you out and telling her you love her myself, Harrington,” Robin seethed, lifting her head. Steve slowed down even more, the Henderson's driveway only a lawn away. “Turn into the damn driveway and get in there, take y/n into your arms, tell her you love her and kiss her. Stop overthinking, just do it.” Robin basically yelled at her best friend, clearly frustrated with him. 

  “But-” He started, finally pulling into the driveway, parking the car. 

  “I swear to god, Harrington,” She threatened him, gritting her teeth as she gave him a wild look. Steve looked at her with wide eyes, slowly turning the car off and pulling the keys out of the ignition as if any sudden movements would set her off like an attack dog. “It’s almost like you want to be scared of love your whole life. Can’t you admit that one tiny little part of you wants to feel love again and doesn’t want to shy away from love? You love her and nothing is going to change that,” She took a deep breath, her voice becoming compassionate. “I know you’re scared, but no matter what you do at this point, you might end up getting hurt; if you don’t tell her you love her, she will never know and your relationship will end eventually and she will move on while you kick yourself for not telling her it soon enough.” 

  “You know, that’s not really helping, Robin.” Steve shot back, opening his door, the cold night air rushing into the car. 

  “Steve Harrington, you were scared shitless when we were held hostage in a Russian base, but you didn’t let it stop you from trying to get out even with you knowing that we could die if we were caught, this is practically the same thing,” Robin pointed out, giving Steve tough love now. “We were damned if we did and damned if we didn’t, but we did try and escape and we are still up and walking - free from the Russians,” She paused, her eyes pouring into Steve, her tone dropping. “You are feeling the same way now, damned if you do and damned if you don’t, but from someone seeing everything from outside your relationship, you’re completely damned if you don’t.” 

  “You’re right, I am damned if it don’t say it,” Steve breathed out. Robin could have cheered out in celebration. He finally was back on track. “I would be even more of an idiot if I don’t say it.” 

  “Hard to argue with that logic,” Robin chirped, opening her car door and sliding out into the cold air, slamming it while Steve just stared at the Henderson’s front door. “Let’s get a move on Romeo, before you start overthinking again.” Robin walked around to his open door, yanking on his arm to get out. He complied, unbuckling his seat belt, forcing himself not to think about it. Mentally pumping himself up, playing positive affirmations over and over again as he followed Robin to the front door. He tried to smother the looming monster manifestation of his fear, taking deep breaths. 

  “I can’t believe you put butter on this! Popcorn seasoning is better!” Lucas’ shout greeted them as soon as Robin pushed the front door open. They shared a look, kicking their shoes off and shrugging out of their jackets. 

  “Butter is better, that’s what you always get at the movies - a large popcorn with extra butter, why is this any different?” Mike shouted back. Robin and Steve rounded the corner into the living room, seeing Mike and Lucas standing there, Mike holding a large bowl of freshly popped popcorn in his hands. 

  “Because I want popcorn seasoning, not butter and this isn’t movie theater popcorn, dumbass!” Lucas shot back, pointing to the popcorn. Max and Dustin just start on the couch, watching the fight, not saying anything. Steve looked around for y/n, but his search of the living room came up short. 

  “You’re the dumbass! Popcorn is popcorn!” Mike argued, shoving the bowl towards Lucas who pushed it back, a few pieces spilling out of the bowl at the forcefulness of the push. 

  “Hey! Don’t spill buttered popcorn all over the floor, my mom will kill me, Dipshits!” Dustin yelled, interjecting himself into the kerfuffle. Just like an angel, y/n rushed into the hallway from the kitchen, a second bowl of popcorn in her hands. She smiled, seeing Steve and Robin standing in the doorway to the living room as she slipped by them, holding the bowl out to Lucas. 

  “There, freshly popped popcorn with popcorn seasoning, now you two can stop fighting. Mike, sit at that end of the couch, Lucas, on that end,” She instructed, pointing to opposite ends of the couch. “Whoever wants to eat buttered popcorn, sit by Mike, whoever wants to eat seasoned popcorn, sit by Lucas. Everything is settled.” She breathed out a sigh, her hands coming to rest on her hips as she turned to Steve and Robin. 

  “Why don’t you go get some fresh air, y/n, I will take care of things in here.” Robin suggested, taking y/n by her shoulders and directing her towards the front door. Y/n went along willingly, slipping her shoes on once Robin let go of her shoulders. Behind y/n’s back, Robin sent a warning glare towards Steve, nudging her head in her direction, telling him to go with her. 

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes, thanks Robin.” Y/n announced, sliding her coat over her as she opened the door, slipping out it. 

  “Take your time! No rush,” Robin told her, glaring at Steve as he shook his head wildly, panic building back up in him. Robin pointed to the door, her eyes narrowing as it closed behind y/n. “Get out there and say it!” She hissed. 

  “Shouldn’t I just give a like a minute to chill-” 

  “Harrington, if you miss this opportunity I am hauling your ass into the psych ward to have your head examined. Just remember what we talked about in the car and you will be fine.” Robin cut him off abruptly, her frustration showing. Steve blinked, shocked by her outburst. He nodded, his mind set on his mission. 

  “Okay, yeah, just- don’t lose your mind.” He muttered, brushing past Robin who watched him slip his shoes back on, walking out without his jacket. He took a deep breath, twisting the door handle and stepping into the night. The cold breeze made him shiver slightly, but he pushed through it as he gently closed the door behind him, his heart racing. His mind batted away the negative thoughts that kept trying to slip in and ruin his confidence, but everything melted away when his eyes landed on y/n leaning against the side of the house by the door. 

  “Hey, Steve! I haven’t talked to you all day, I missed you,” She smiled up at him, not noticing how he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans as he slowly walked towards her, swallowing thickly. “What’s up?” She furrowed her brows, her heart jumping in fear at his nervous facial expression, her mind automatically thinking the worst. 

  “I, uh,” He started, jamming one hand in his jean pocket, the other one clasping the back of his neck, rubbing it. He cleared his throat, his eyes dropping to his feet. Taking another deep breath, he gathered his courage. “I just wanted to talk to you about something.” He told her, looking back up at her, their eyes connecting. 

  “Sure, what is it, babe,” She asked, her hand coming out to rest on his arm gently, her eyes soft, showing him that he could say anything. He swallowed once again, nerves bubbling up in his chest. She was so sweet and caring, Steve had to question what twist of fate allowed her to even think about going on a date with him, let alone loving him. “Whatever it is, just say it and we can go from there.” She told him. Her mind raced, thinking he wanted to break up with her. She started to question how she was going to explain to the kids why she had to leave once Steve broke up with her. How she was going to hold it together long enough to leave with at least a sliver of her dignity. 

  “I’m just going to say it,” He mumbled to himself, almost as if to push himself to do it. “Just say it, Steve,” He repeated, taking deep breaths, making y/n even more nervous. “Just,” He paused, pulling his hands in front of him and pushed them forward as if it would help him say the words. “Say it.” 

  “Steve, if you don’t say it, we aren’t going to be able to talk about it-” 

  “I love you,” He blurted out, his eyes closed as he waited for her response. Y/n filtered in her step closer to him, not expecting him to say that. She was expecting for him to tell her he wanted to break up, not that he loved her. Her heart felt like it was floating, trying to rise up to the clouds drifting in the night sky. Drift into the sparkling stars, to float around the planets of the universe. Steve pried his eyes open at her silence, taking in her shocked expression. “And you don’t feel the same, I am so stupid! I told Robin that this was going to go bad, but she insisted that you loved me too-”

  “I do,” y/n finally spoke, her voice firm. Her eyes looked into Steve confused ones. His mouth opened to ask her what she meant, but she beat him to it. “I love you,” She clarified, stepping even closer to his body, her arms snaking around his torso, pressing her body against his. “I was shocked because I thought you wanted to break up with me, that’s why I didn’t say it back right away.” She told him, nuzzling her cheek into his chest as his arms wrapped around her, swaying them back and forth gently. 

  “Why would I ever break up with you? You’re amazing.” Steve questioned, wondering how she would ever think he wanted to break up with someone as perfect as her. She shrugged, pulling her face away from his chest to look up at him. 

  “I dunno, I just thought you were acting weird and then when you came out here looking nervous and not wanting to say something, I automatically thought you were breaking up with me,” She confessed, stepping back so she could look at him better. All the tension and stress in his body was gone, his normal goofy smile on his lips, his body relaxed. “But I’m glad you said you loved me.” She smiled up at him, rolling onto her toes to press a kiss to his chin. 

  “I’m glad I said it too.” He agreed, dipping his head down to press a long, lingering kiss to her lips. 

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

finally. i decided to do this. anyways hello there, i am jake and today i want to talk about something; you see, if you are in the tf2 fandom, you probably know about heavymedic. Wherther you are a hardcore gamer who resents f2p’s or a person that never played the game but has trillions of notes on their art- you know heavymedic exists and most of all you probably ship it.

And I find that weird. In the few fandoms in my life I have been in I had never seen a single ship be so widely if not shipped, then accepted. Sure, maybe everyone in the GF fandom knows what Billdip is - for better or for worse. Sure, maybe the HS fandom is 70% shipping.

But I have never ever seen such a phenomenon in a prominent multiplayer game fandom. A fandom, sadly, oftentimes filled with toxicity. Overwatch is very similar here - yet ships are either a hot topic of discussion or straight up ignored. But TF2? In here for whatever reason we ship these two mercenaries. And in this essay I will try and find a reason or two why is that.

Apologies for any mistakes or incoherency. English is not my first language, I need to ramble, and my vocabulary is all over the place.

Content warning: mentions of homophobia, blood, death, mentions of WLW fetishization, nsfw mention. Also MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR THE TF2 COMICS.

Part 1: Canonical Evidence and Interactions

Let’s be honest: I could ramble about this one for days on end. But I’ll try and keep it short.

First and foremost we have the official videos. And of course the first thing that comes to mind is Meet the Medic.

At the very start of the part where Medic himself appears, we see him telling a joke about a particularly gruesome situation to Heavy.

He laughs along with him, visibly enjoying his company. He even smiles as he waits for another joke. Heavy only shows genuine fear a lot later.

And of course this damn scene always cracks me up. Medic slightly pinches Heavy’s cheek and strokes his lip gently (the other part is almost not noticeable unless you play the video at slow speed).

Of course we all know about the Hand Hold that happens somewhere halfway in the vid. I don’t think I have to explain the gayness in that. The fact their hands stay interlocked even after Medic helps Heavy up. The deep breath Medic takes because even he cannot handle the emotions. That few seconds is unresolved sexual tension manifest.

Overall the short shows a strong feeling of trust between these two. Medic confides in Heavy and reverse. Yeah he puts a baboon heart into his friend’s chest cavity but the fact (as proven at the end of the video) that Heavy was the first one to have an Ubercharge implanted into him shows that Medic at the very least considers him a lab rat.

I treat End of the Line as non-canonical, as do many others, and as such won’t discuss it here. But it will forever crack me up that Valve endorsed such levels of homoerotic subtext.

These two have some short moments in other videos, like for example in Invasion Heavy helps Medic up (CINEMATIC PARALLELS) but it’s nothing major so I guess I’ll skip forward.

Second is their interactions ingame. You might call me a weirdo for trying to find stuff in there but holy shit I have things to say and I’m going to say them.

You thought I was going to fanboy over the “i love this doktor” voiceline huh? Well not really. I wish these two had unique lines if they assist one another.

Heavy is literally listed on the official wiki as the “ideal medic buddy” and multiple pages on that exact wiki say some pretty interesting things.

I have to say something about the Gentleman’s Ushanka and/or Pocket Medic. They are both community cosmetics - but the fact they both got accepted by Valve says a lot. Above is text snipped from the actual wiki.

Last but not least: The Comics. Darned comics. The pair of mercenaries has basically no interaction - unless you count issue 6.

Heavy getting absolutely PISSED when Medic is killed by Ch*avy. Their reunion. Medic referring to Heavy by “my friend” in a totally straight way. Kind of sad Valve wasted an opportunity for them to hug. Maybe they knew their comic artist ships them and wanted to avoid having to answer the Question™.

Part 2: Dynamics

This part’s a bit trickier, mostly due to the reason that I’m new to this whole dynamic analysis thing. Yeah I’m good at spotting canonical evidence but very specific shipping dynamics often escape my gaze.

The most obvious one is Big Guy, Little Guy. Quoting the TVTROPES page:

[…] This trope describes a pair of guys who always fight together, are best friends forever, and quite often have a very obvious hierarchy: The little guy is often in charge […] The little guy is usually listed first, since he’s the leader, and they are always listed together, as if they are one entity. In fact, some episodes may center on the fact that they can’t live without each other. […] If this is a case of Brains and Brawn, the Big Guy is usually the Brawn, and the Little Guy the Brains. It’s almost never the other way around, but in some cases the Big Guy can be rather smart too. […]

A sub-type of this, a common favorite here on Tumblr is known as “small chaotic big calm” and hoo boy if that isn’t these two. I don’t really have much to say here - again I am not an expert.

Part 3: Fandom Impact

So you don’t think Red Oktoberfest (as Heavymedic is sometimes called) is super popular on anywhere else than Tumblr? Wrong.

It’s hard to find TF2 fics on Archive of Our Own not tagged with Heavy/Medic. Of course most of them only contain hints to their relationship but go in the main tf2 tag and I can guarantee you, you’ll gonna see “implied heavy/medic” all the time.

But these two go further than AO3 or Tumblr or Instagram or whatever. They are recognized even within the wider circle of the fanbase. Take this SFM, for example. (I am using the Saxxy Awards version of Secret Lives here mostly due to the fact that the Heavymedic moment is much gayer. In the normal version, the dialogue isn’t changed, but they simply hold hands.)

But it gets deeper. (WARNING: THE GAY MOMENT IN THIS ONE IS NSFW. NOT EXPLICITLY SO BUT JUST A HEADS UP TUMBLR PLEASE DO NOT FLAG ME)

And the best part? The comments are extremely positive. You’d expect hoards upon hoards of homophobes screeching but no, the comments are supportive. Even on places such as Reddit or Youtube, comments like “yeah they’re gay and in love” do not get downvoted/disliked to hell; in fact the opposite.

Part 4: Canon Status

Let’s be real. Most ships are shipped because people want to explore the dynamics in fanfic, fanart or something else. But Heavymedic is shipped because… well, I have no idea.

Actually, I kind of do - but only theories. You see, while the canonical evidence is here, the creators have never said anything about them. No confirmation, no disproval, no hinting, nothing.

But the ship is so prominent! There has to be something causing this!- you say. And to that I present you 2 theories on why Heavy/Medic is so popular.

Theory number 1 states that we simply all choose to interpret their interactions as homoerotic. And this is very easy to disprove - there’s simply no way we just collectively agreed on these matters out of nothing. There has to be something bigger.

And theory 2 states that, well, our interpretation is the desired interpretation. But this is even more ridiculous than theory 1 for a number of reasons. If they are in fact gay, why hasn’t Valve made them canon yet?

A Theoretical Scenario

I am going to ramble big time on this one, so buckle up lads. I’ll discuss a theoretical scenario in which, well, if that was not obvious, Valve confirms Heavymedic as canon. Maybe then we will see why they will probably never do so.

TF2 is considered by typical capital G, alt-right Gamers as a “non-political” game. This means no women (in the game itself, at least, and if even, sexy women only), no queer folk and no minorities (for some reason they accept Demoman but throw a fit if someone draws any other merc as not being pearl white). Team Fortress 2 was around before Gamergate and other things like Gamers Rise Up. It’s a classic and Valve is regarded as the good guy to Epic Game’s bad guy. If Valve did anything to confirm doubts, wherther it be clearing up popular fanon or confirming ships, these people would throw hands. (Although they seemed to ignore when one of the writers confirmed Miss Pauling is a lesbian. Huh.) Even those that don’t play TF2 would come to the aid of their bros.

Let me illustrate with two very similar examples. In both cases these confirmations were the first made by the company as a whole, both are fairly recent and both confirm a character as gay.

First we have the confirmation of Tracer from Overwatch as a lesbian. It was done in one of OVW’s comics. Tracer is the FACE of Overwatch as a whole and while most of the fanbase accepted it (thankfully the Gamers are reluctant to infest ow), some people threw what I can only describe as a hissy fit. At least her girlfriend’s a background character.

Second is Neeko from League of Legends. Unlike Tracer she was added a while before it was confirmed she was gay. LOL is much more toxic and filled with Gamers than OW and holy shit people smeared LOL so much.

Of course these are not accurate to Heavy/Medic. In both of the cases I listed it was girls being wlw and we all know how much cisgender heterosexual gamers LOVE yuri porn. Apparently only girls can be gay because they can jack off to it - if it’s two guys then it’s disgusting. Nevertheless I think these are good approximations - in every case the company gets “shat on” on social media and other sites. With the community that Valve has, I think even if they wanted them to be gay, they would never ever confirm it.

Conclusion

I’m sorry for that ending. I had to theorize a bit. Regardless I’d love if you shared this on other sites, reblogged or whatever - I wasted at least 1 and a half hours of my life on it. Feel free to cite this as a source if someone asks you why you ship the big heavy weapons expert and the feral battle medic.

[princess-of-luxure]

with an empty glass and a broken heart

You could've never known that the man you met at the coffee shop on a rainy day would become your future fiance, and the father of your child. You also could've never known he'd be dragged away from you.

Fandom: Devil May Cry Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Relationships: Vergil (Devil May Cry)/Reader Characters: Dante (Devil May Cry), Vergil (Devil May Cry) Content Warnings: Depression, Canon-Typical Major Character Death

Written for day 6 of Whumptober, prompt was 'Dragged Away.' I was up all night writing this and I feel it lost quality at the end... might just be me though. Either way, I'm pretty satisfied with it!

Fic under read more.

The wind roared outside the window of your quaint little tea shop, torrential rain flooding the streets in the worst storm your town had seen in months. You weren’t exactly sure why the shop was open under these conditions, but it was whatever. It saved you from having to deal with your obnoxious sister and her hellspawn; you didn’t even hate kids, they were really just that bad and she did nothing to keep them in check. You wouldn’t be surprised to find there was a post about her and her brats on r/EntitledParents.

You were only slightly disassociating as you sat in one of the booths, absently nursing a mug of your drink of choice. You wouldn’t think it at first, but being alone in the shop was actually quite comforting. There was no one to bother you, the barista was a lot happier and pleasant to converse with when she wasn’t constantly being hounded by rude customers and sleazy guys, and it was just generally a good atmosphere to chill out in.

“I was not expecting to see someone else here.” You nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard an unfamiliar voice speak. The stranger that now sat across the booth from you was… imposing, to say the least. If the striking white hair slicked back out of intense blue eyes didn’t leave an impression on you, his height and almost-regal attire certainly did, and… was that a katana sheathed at his hip?

You must’ve been staring for far too long, because after a few moments, the stranger tilted his head. “My apologies. I should have asked first. I can take my leave, if you wish it.”

“Wh—no!” You were scrambling over yourself now to correct the error of your silence, though it seemed you kept tripping over your tongue. “No, no, no, it’s okay. You’re just—uh—God—”

“Are you certain?” the (admittedly quite handsome, dammit) stranger asked, his brows creasing. “My presence seems to have caused you something of a fluster.”

“You’re pretty!” you blurted out, mouth moving without permission from your brain. In an attempt to rectify the awkward situation, you quickly began rambling, talking faster than you could think. “And I wasn’t expecting any company because it’s so rainy and this shop is kind of out of the way anyway and I was kind of zoning out when you sat down and you look kind of like an anime character—not that that’s a bad thing, it was just startling and I’m really sorry—”

The stranger held up a hand, and you cut yourself off, waiting with bated breath for what you were sure were going to be some very displeased words. What you weren’t expecting was his slow scrutiny of you, his gaze seeming to pierce right through to your soul as he took in every detail of your being. When he finally spoke, his tone was completely even, giving away nothing. “What’s your name?”

You introduced yourself, managing not to stutter too much even as you wrung your hands nervously. How could one man be so guarded and emotionally reserved? Not knowing for sure that he hated you for your weird, out-of-the-blue compliment and strange spiel where you’d compared him to an anime character was somehow more soul-crushing than any sort of definitive confirmation.

He repeated your name back to you slowly, as though testing how it felt upon his tongue, and you gave a small, timid response. “A fine name,” he complimented, and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks immediately. God damn it, god damn it. “You may call me Vergil.”

“Vergil,” you echoed, still shaken up. You sipped at your drink to give yourself an excuse to avoid eye contact. “That’s… That’s a nice name too.”

“Thank you.” The silence that ensued had to be the most awkward of your whole entire life, yet somehow it didn’t seem to bother Vergil, who continued to gaze at you with a slightly curious look. You chewed on your lip, fidgeted with your hands, waiting desperately for him to break the silence; eventually, you could take it no longer.

“Is… there something wrong?” you asked hesitantly. Vergil blinked, seemingly brought out of his thoughts by your question.

“Nothing is amiss,” he reassured you, and it would’ve soothed your anxiety if he wasn’t so damn intimidating just by nature. “I was merely deep in thought.”

You wondered if it was okay to ask what he had been thinking about, or if he would bite your head off for daring to ask such a foolish question. Eventually, the freshly dawning silence that threatened to be just as awkward as the last made your decision for you. “About what?” It was such a casual delivery, and you berated yourself for it. You were basically in the presence of a god, and all you could come up with was that? Foolishness!

“Most people do not dare to try engage in casual conversation with me,” Vergil explained, his gaze still sweeping over you, and yeah, you could see why. Not that you minded that this freaking Adonis had chosen to interact with you, but there was no denying that his aura left a bone-rattling effect on people. “Certainly none have tried to compare me to an… anime character.”

The way he spoke those words, not quite distasteful but bordering on amused, sent you sinking into the plush cushions of the booth. You were never going to live that down, were you? “Sorry about that.”

“Your words did not affect me in any negative way, though the apology is appreciated nevertheless.” Well, that much was a relief, though it made you wonder what the hell Vergil must be thinking of you then. “If I may trouble you with a query, do you spend a lot of time in this shop?”

It was your turn to blink, the sudden question taking a moment to process. Why would he want to know that? “Uh, yeah, I guess so. It’s sort of my main hangout. I come here to get away from the hell that is my family life.”

To your surprise, your words drew a chuckle from Vergil, which for him manifested as a low rumbling sound. “I can understand that desire.” He was quiet for several seconds more, and just as you were about to fear that you were going to lapse into another awkward silence, he suddenly spoke again. “Forgive me if this is intrusive, but would you care if I said hello to you, should we happen to meet again?”

Your heart leaped into your throat and you quickly took a long draught of your drink to hide your sudden fluster. “U-Uh, I don’t see a problem with it.”

The faintest ghost of a smile touched Vergil’s lips, somehow making him more handsome than he already was and sending your stomach topsy-turvy. “Excellent.”

~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~

A year later saw you sitting at that very same booth once again, shielding from the pouring rain outside. However, a lot had changed in that time. It wouldn’t be obvious to the casual onlooker, but it certainly was to you; the sapphire-studded band glinting on your ring finger was proof enough of that. You weren’t married yet, but come next fall, that would’ve changed. You couldn’t wait for the big day, practically chomping at the bit to be able to call Vergil your husband.

This was all without even considering the news you had to tell Vergil on your date today. Your fingers glided over your stomach; there was no obvious signs of your pregnancy yet, but as of yesterday, it had been confirmed. You hadn’t thought much of the cravings when they first showed up, but then the morning sickness had arrived, and not long after you noticed your period was late. It had been at that point you’d thought to take a test, and the rest was history.

Nothing could spoil your good mood today. You didn’t even flinch as the barista (you still hadn’t learned her name!) approached you, hands fidgeting and refusing to look you in the eyes. “Um…”

You weren’t sure why she was so anxious, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to be particularly bothered. “Yes?”

“Vergil, he…” The barista took a deep breath, dragging her gaze up to your face. “He said he wouldn’t be coming today.”

Your whole world screeched to a stop. “What?”

“He said something really important came up, a-and that he’d be back as soon as he can.” The barista didn’t linger long after delivering this earth-shattering revelation, quickly scurrying back to the counter. You, meanwhile, were left in a state of shock and misery.

Oh well, it didn’t really matter too much. Vergil’s little disappearing acts were nothing new. You could just tell him tomorrow.

~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~

Six years later, and Vergil still hadn’t returned to you. You were in an extremely fragile state both physically and mentally when you had finally given birth, and though you had tried desperately to keep your son, Nero, it became quickly clear that you could barely take care of yourself, let alone an infant, so with a heavy heart, you had surrendered him to an orphanage in Fortuna.

It was a rainy, stormy night when you finally learned of Vergil’s fate. The fire was roaring away and you were huddled up underneath several blankets when you heard the knock on the door.

You were loathe to get up, but you did so anyway, wrapping your blankets around you like capes as you slowly trudged to the door. When you opened it, you were shocked to see… Vergil? No, not Vergil, his hair was down, and he wore red instead of blue. That meant this had to be…

“Dante?”

Dante gave you a sheepish smile. “Yep, that’s the name, don’t wear it out.” You stared at him blankly, and when he realized you weren’t going to respond to his joke, he coughed awkwardly. “Hey, you’re my brother Vergil’s partner, right?”

You expelled a long sigh. “I was. He disappeared six years ago. I haven’t been able to find him.”

Dante rubbed the back of his neck, and you got a very bad feeling from the fact he refused to look you in the eyes. “Yeaaaah, actually, I came to talk to you about that…”

That caught your attention, and you tilted your head, feeling the faintest stirring of hope for the first time in six years. It wasn’t much, though. “Go on.” 

“Well uh, you see… Vergil kinda…” Dante seemed to be struggling to get the words out, and eventually he just heaved a heavy sigh. “Aw hell, nothing to do but just say it. When he disappeared, it was because he was enslaved by the demon emperor that killed our mom, Mundus.”

A pause.

“Oh.” It was the only response you could muster, depression weighing on you like a pile of bricks and sucking all the emotions out of you.

“And, uh… I kinda fought him, not knowing it was him,” Dante continued, words getting more and more rushed as he went on, and you already didn’t like where this was going. “And I, uh, I kinda had to... kill him.”

Immediately, red hot rage boiled your blood, even if you knew it was irrational. Dante hadn’t known, after all; but he had still killed the one you loved more than anyone else. “Get out.”

Dante’s eyes widened. “Hey, wait, I—”

You slammed the door shut, leaning against it to dissuade the younger son of Sparda from any attempts to reach out to you again. Once you were certain he was gone, you fell to your knees, and you cried. You cried until your eyes were dry and your heart was empty.

Everything you’d loved was gone, your son taken from you by your own depression and your lover by his worst enemy and twin brother.

You couldn’t feel anything but numb.

[elyvorg]

I just saw a post from @moomota and @dykeenvy that’s all "what if Kaito had the Despair Disease" and then "what if Kaito's version of the disease was honesty disease and he couldn't hide how scared and worried he is", and HELL YES I have no idea why this concept has never occurred to me before but it's GREAT.

One thing I love thinking about with regards to Kaito is what it would be like if Shuichi and Maki could help him with his weaknesses and issues. The problem with that is that to do so they first need to understand his issues, and there is absolutely no way that is ever going to happen under normal circumstances, because Kaito is so goddamn stubborn about hiding all of his weakness from the surface and especially from his sidekicks. The only way to get to that point is either with extremely gradual elaborate buildup of Kaito slowly realising that maybe it wouldn't be the end of the world to let them see his weakness after all - or to cheat and force it through with some kind of supernatural phenomenon. My list of possible supernatural phenomena that could do this was previously two things long, but this puts it at three!

- Shuichi literally gains mindreading powers and hears what Kaito is thinking (which happens in the Harmonious Heart event in the bonus mode) - An inexplicable Persona 4 phenomenon occurs and causes Kaito's Shadow, a physical manifestation of everything he’s repressing, to appear (which is the subject of a fic I wrote) - Kaito gets an "honesty" variant of the Despair Disease (because, let's face it, the Despair Disease is basically a supernatural phenomenon considering its actual reason for happening in DR2)

I like this list. This is a good list. Does anyone have more ideas of things that could be on this list?

[Edit from the future: I do, past me! Here is a fourth idea which is very silly but totally still works.]

[I guess this post is now going to serve as a masterlist for if I ever come up with any other ideas for this, so I can keep them all in one place.]

There's also different ways this could go. Kaito could have emotional honesty disease, meaning he can't hide anything at all and just shows up one morning acting exactly as scared and helpless as he feels. This would be unexpected enough to everyone else that they all assume he's got coward disease and not honesty disease. It's only after a while of taking care of him and listening to his delirious frightened rambling that Shuichi and Maki realise that he's not delirious at all, because the things he's saying make too much sense and are too rooted in things they already know are true about him.

Or, he could have literal honesty disease, meaning he's able to still act in a way that hides how he feels, but he's incapable of speaking anything but the truth. So everything seems normal for most of the day (Kaito probably doesn't even notice his fever because he's already sick anyway), until they're at training and Shuichi notices that Kaito seems a little under the weather to be about to start exercising.

“Are you okay?” Shuichi asks him. “You look a bit pale.”

Kaito smiles casually and says, “Nah, I'm just feeling like total crap ‘cause I'm dying and I hate thi—”

He claps his hand over his mouth too late, his eyes widening in horrified realisation.

The other two stare at him for a moment, stunned. “Huh...? Kaito...?”

Kaito's gaze flicks between them both like he's insanely hoping they maybe didn't hear what he just said. Tentative, he takes his hand off his mouth and forces his smile back in place. “I-I mean I'm—

“—scared as hell that I'm gonna let you guys down and—”

His hand snaps right back to where it was.

Shuichi and Maki keep staring at him. He's no longer looking them in the eye.

“Kaito... what's wrong?”

“Everything!” Kaito blurts out through his hand as if he's compelled to answer the question. He drops his hand in frustration and scowls at himself. “Damn it, I'm tryin’ to tell you I'm fine but I'm not because nothing is fine and what the hell is happening!?”

Shuichi's detective's instincts are going wild with theories attempting to explain what's going on, but one thing he knows for sure right now is that, whatever's wrong with Kaito, he wants to help. He takes a step forward, not sure what he's about to say but opening his mouth to say something—

—and the moment he does, Kaito turns and bolts back to the dorms like he's fleeing for his life.

(Of course, Shuichi and Maki aren't about to leave him be when he's suffering and do eventually manage to convince him to let them help, now that they have an idea of what the problem is. I have no plans to write that whole thing, because it'd be broadly the same as my Shadow Kaito fic and that took me long enough to do as it is, but I really liked the concept of Kaito wearing his usual emotional facade while helplessly blurting out how he really feels, apparently enough so that a spontaneous mini-fic happened.)

(Another edit from the future: here’s an art of how this situation would probably continue to unfold.)

[emeraldwaves]

Title: How It Should Be Pairing: Iwaoi (and Iwaizumi/OC) Rating: T Word Count:  3,922 Read on Ao3 Summary:  

Oikawa can't help how jealous he is of Iwaizumi's new girlfriend.

A Fun Anti-Valentine’s Day fic for @its-love-u-asshole LOL!

Fic under the cut!

The worst part about the whole situation is she's cute.

Her laugh echoes in every room. She smiles with every muscle in her face, her cheeks round and rosy. Her brown eyes are bright and shimmer with excitement at all points of the day. She has long flowing brown hair that falls just above the curve of her adorable ass. (Yes, even he can admit she has a nice one.) Her brown bangs curl in wisps across her forehead, smaller pieces draping over her cheeks.

She's cute.

The last thing Oikawa wants to do is admit this. Especially when Iwaizumi introduces her as his girlfriend. It's like Oikawa is watching the scene in slow motion. Iwaizumi's hand falls to her lower back, his arm wrapped protectively around her. The two of them walk toward him, the sounds of their steps echoing on the ground.

Iwaizumi's lips curl into a grin and he looks at Oikawa. "This is Suzuki Tora, my girlfriend." Oikawa watches painfully as Iwaizumi forms the words. His lips curl around his teeth as he forms the 'g' then they pushed backwards as his teeth press against his lower lip to punctuate the 'f'.

Girlfriend.

Girlfriend. What a truly disgusting word. Oikawa hates it.

"Hi!" she says. "It's nice to officially meet you. I-I mean, of course I know who you are. You and Iwa-chan are such a perfect duo on the volleyball court."

Oikawa's eye twitches. Iwa-chan. Iwa-chan. Only he calls Iwaizumi Iwa-chan and that's because they've known each other forever and everyone knows Iwaizumi is the best at spiking Oikawa's sets.

At least she has the decency to know who he is.

He closes his eyes, a dark smile pulling across his lips. "Hello. Suzume, was it?"

"Suzuki," she says, correcting him. He knew, but he doesn't want her to think her name is important enough for him to remember immediately.

"Ah, yes, it's so nice to meet you. Especially since Iwaizumi has never mentioned you to me," he says pointedly.

A small look of hurt passes through her eyes, and Oikawa should feel guilty, but mostly he feels rather pleased with himself. Still, she makes a bubbly comeback. "Oh, I see! Well I'm sure all you two talk about is volleyball anyway," she says, shrugging. If it's meant to be a dig, it's not a very good one.

"That's true," Iwaizumi chuckles.

"Speaking of," Oikawa says, clearing his throat. "The bell rang an hour ago, so we're going to be late." Okay, so the bell rang like... maybe two minutes ago, but Oikawa needs them to move along as fast as they possibly can.

"An... hour?" she asks, tilting her head to the side.

"You'll get used to him. He's dramatic about everything," Iwaizumi says, rolling his eyes.

The last thing he wants is to be around her any longer than he has to be.

"I am not," Oikawa scoffs and he hates the way she giggles at him, her hand covering her mouth.

"I don't want you to be late to practice," she says, cupping her hands behind her back. "Can I come watch-"

"No!" Oikawa says, waving his hand quickly. "It's a closed practice. Team members only!" Oikawa makes his way behind Iwaizumi and pushes on his back. "We're leaving, goodbye Subame."

"It's Suzuki," she says, but Oikawa pretends not to notice. He certainly doesn't care. "Have fun!"

"Bye!" Iwaizumi calls over his shoulder and immediately frowns at Oikawa. "Okay, okay, you don't have to push me."

Oikawa sighs. "Fine, fine. Don't be grouchy just because I'm pulling you away from your new girlfriend," he sneers.

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. "I'm not grouchy," he sighs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. "I actually think that went better than I expected."

"Better than expected?" Oikawa gasps, pressing his hand against his chest. "It went perfectly," he scoffs.

"Sure," Iwaizumi snorts and they head to practice. Honestly, it's what Oikawa needs to distract himself from this disaster.

~~

"So how long has this been going on?" Oikawa asks, glaring at Iwaizumi on the other side of the gym.

Matsukawa sighs. "What? Iwaizumi's girlfriend?"

Oikawa was able to block her from their practice a few days ago, but ever since then, she shown up every afternoon.

"We knew you would be mad about this," Makki states.

Oikawa puffs out his cheeks. "I'm not mad!" he snaps.

"Could've fooled us..." Matsukawa says.

No, he's not mad. He just hates it and he hates her. He hates how happy Iwaizumi looks. He's laughing with her and she's tossing balls towards him and Iwaizumi is either hitting them or catching them and tossing them back, like he's teaching her some sort of special move.

Tossing to Iwaizumi is his job and he's tempted to go over there and knock the volleyball out of her damn hands.

"Neither of you answered me," Oikawa continues, glaring at the other two. "How long have they been..."

He can't bring himself to say the word 'dating', as if saying it will cause it to manifest and then this relationship will actually be real.

"I dunno," Matsukawa says, shrugging.

"A week or two?" Makki says, shrugging with Matsukawa.

"TWO!?" Oikawa yells. That's far too long. Iwaizumi always gets upset when he's hanging around or flirting with girls. So why does Iwaizumi get to have dates?! "That's enough," he hisses and makes his way over to them.

"Hello, Oikawa-san, how are-" Suzuki starts to say, but Oikawa holds up a hand to stop her.

"We don't have time to be fooling around, Iwa-chan," he grumbles.

Iwaizumi, of course, immediately frowns. Admittedly, Oikawa doesn't like seeing him frown like this. Iwaizumi frowns a lot, usually at Oikawa, usually in jest. But... this is different. There's real frustration behind his brow and Oikawa doesn't like this look.

"I'm teaching her," he states.

"We're basically practicing!" she giggles and Oikawa glares daggers.

This is not practicing. This girl doesn't understand volleyball, which means she won't understand Iwaizumi. The idiot is just going to end up hurt in the end, when he realizes this girl can't share his passions in the way he needs.

"This isn't practice," Oikawa snaps. "I should be the one tossing to Iwaizumi, not you!" he growls.

Suzuki's eyes open wide and she glances between the two boys, but Iwaizumi is the first one to speak. Admittedly, Oikawa was a little blunt, so she's probably not used to his tone of voice.

"Alright," he grunts. "I'll see you later, Tora-chan," he mutters, the words almost sounding cute.

"Aw," she says, her lips curling into a bratty pout. "I'll see you later."

"Yes, later!" Oikawa says, smiling. Maybe she'll see him never.

During practice, Oikawa barely tosses to Iwaizumi.

~~

"How long do you plan on moping about this?" Makki asks at lunch.

Iwaizumi isn't sitting with them. He and girlfriend-chan are sitting at a smaller table together, laughing away and eating.

"How long have they been together again?" Oikawa asks, not taking his eyes off of them for a moment. He shoves some rice into his mouth, his cheeks puffing out as he chews.

"You just asked a few days ago, so... two weeks and... I dunno, a few days," Matsukawa says.

Oikawa pushes his thumb against his chopsticks and he has half a mind to break them despite them being plastic.

"I dunno why you're so upset about this, he's practically dating you," Makki says casually. He returns to look at his food, ignoring whatever inevitable response comes.

"Dating... me?"

Well that's just downright incorrect! If he and Iwaizumi were dating, he would be over there sitting with him, just the two of them. They'd walk home together after practice. They would talk about their futures, hands linked together, fingers intertwined.

Oikawa didn't know how many times he's thought about something like that. Sometimes he pictures them in college, still together, after all these years, because where would Oikawa be without his Iwa-chan.

"Uh yeah," Matsukawa says, breaking Oikawa of his looping, spiraling thoughts. "She looks like girl you. Hell even her name, Tora, is close to yours."

Admittedly, he hadn't noticed any of those things. Nor had he stuck around long enough to remember that was her name. But now that he's thinking about it... it does make sense. Her brown eyes were similar to his; playful but with a serious energy. Even her light brown hair is similar in color to his. But most importantly... they both make Iwaizumi smile.

Iwa-chan needs him just as much as Oikawa does.

"Hm," Oikawa hums, tilting his head back and forth as if he hasn't already figured this out. "I think you could be right."

"Yeah," Makki says. "We've been discussing it since they got together."

"And you didn't think to tell me?!" Oikawa exclaims.

Both of them shake their heads, obviously not wanting to offend him.

"Whatever," he scoffs, pulling his gaze away from them.

Oikawa takes pride in knowing it probably won't last between them. There's no way, not when Iwaizumi is most likely thinking about him.

~~

For the next week, Oikawa deals with Suzuki. She's there, he has to get used to it... for now. He truly believes it won't last, but... there's not much he can do. They're together and Iwaizumi seems happy, so Oikawa buries himself into homework and volleyball. It's easier to focus on that.

Then, it happens.

Iwaizumi is late. This is becoming a slightly more normal circumstance since Tora-chan. Now Oikawa kind of understands why Iwaizumi is so annoyed when he is late.

He clicks his tongue, checking the clock again. He taps his foot on the ground, deciding it's time to take matters into his own hands. He makes his way out of the gym, clutching the volleyball hard against his chest.

He's going to find Iwaizumi and bring him to practice if it's the last thing he does.

Marching outside, Oikawa freezes. Iwaizumi is standing with her, under the covered walkway. The two of them look serious, her gaze turned down to the floor. She looks upset... tense... Maybe they're... finally breaking up?

Iwaizumi nods his head, adjusting the way he stands. It looks like he's moving closer to her.

Oikawa can't hear what they're saying, but he can see how close they're getting. She stands on her tiptoes brushing her lips up against his. He cups her jaw, brushing his thumbs over her cheeks as Oikawa watches them deepen their kiss. Her arms wrap around Iwaizumi's neck, their bodies pressed close.

For a moment, Oikawa wonders what it would be like if it was him kissing Iwaizumi. He can imagine his lips are probably so inherently him; a little rough around the edges, but soft underneath. He wants Iwaizumi to cup and hold his cheeks. He wants it so bad and that's why his heart shatters when he realizes what he's seeing.

Iwaizumi is kissing his girlfriend and not him. It's just not right.

The sound of the ball hits the concrete, a loud, bouncing slam. Oikawa gasps, realizing he let go of it in his shock. Both Iwaizumi and Suzuki look in his direction, the two of them wide eyed when they see Oikawa has witnessed the scene in front of him.

"Oikawa-" Iwaizumi begins to say. He doesn't have to explain himself. Oikawa knows he's in the wrong by being upset. He just never thought he would witness Iwaizumi kissing someone that wasn't him.

"I-I... I'm sorry," he gasps. His eyes lock with Iwaizumi's for a moment, and something flashes through his eyes. Pain? Hurt? Oikawa can't place it, and he doesn't really care to try and solve this mystery right now.

He let's the ball continue to roll forward, and he dashes away.

~~

He's not sure how far away he gets. He recalls running fast away from the gym. He doesn't even like running all that much, only does it to stay in shape for volleyball, but this is definitely the fastest he's ever run.

He doesn't want to think about it, or even look at Iwaizumi. He doesn't think he can handle it. He just wants to practice and never think about their lips locking again, but of course Iwaizumi will be there and-

"Oikawa-san!"

He freezes, the feminine voice catching him off guard.

What the hell is she doing here?

He stops and turns around, glaring at the girl. What could she possibly want to say to him?

"Did you come here to brag about your relationship with Iwa-chan?" He honestly doesn't mean to be so nasty. It just comes out when she's around; a green monster ripping its way out through his body.

"I... uh... actually I didn't," she says, scuffing her foot against the ground. "We broke up."

It takes a minute for those words to process, mostly because they don't make sense. Just a few moments ago, they were locking lips and giving each other lovey-dovey looks.

"What?" Oikawa snaps, turning to look at her. He would say she's playing some sort of trick, but the way she's looking down as if she's about to cry makes him think otherwise.

Now, guilt washes over him.

"But... I just saw you kissing..."

She bites down on her lip and nods. "It was a goodbye kiss."

He frowns. He suppose it makes sense why the two of them looked so serious and somber before they did it. But why is she coming after him to tell him instead of Iwaizumi?

"Iwaizumi-san was going to follow you but I thought you might not believe him if he told you what happened."

That's a fair assumption. He would've assumed Iwaizumi was making it up to put himself back in Oikawa's good graces. "Alright, then what happened?" he asks, his voice has far less bite to it.

"Well, basically... I'm not you."

"Eh?" Oikawa blinks, confused by the statement.

"I think it's pretty obvious there is no one else for you two. No one can match your intensity about volleyball and... I see the way you two look at each other. I'm not an idiot," she says quietly. "I've seen the way you've been glaring at us for the past month."

Oikawa exhales. Well, he wasn't exactly trying to be subtle about it.

"You did steal my best spiker," he huffs, trying to play it off like it's more about volleyball and not about her stealing his best friend.

A small laugh slips from her lips. "I think I stole more than that," she whispers. "I hope you two take the time to talk."

Oikawa knows they'll talk, but he has no idea what to say to him in regards to this.

"Yeah, uhm, sorry," he mutters, though it's a half-assed apology and he knows it.

"It's okay!" she says, trying to sound cheery, though it's easy to see she's disappointed. "Iwaizumi-san is a really nice person. I want him to be happy and... I think he would be happiest with you."

Oikawa can confirm that's most likely true. But instead he stares at her, completely speechless. How is it that she can figure something like this out, though she barely knows them?

"Don't be too harsh on him, okay?" she says, bowing to him before starting to walk off.

Normally Oikawa is full of words, ready to charm and talk someone's ear off, but... for once he has nothing to say.

~~

The guilt drives Oikawa to avoid Iwaizumi. Normally, it would be odd, but since he was spending so much time with Suzuki Tora, it wasn't all that strange for the two of them to be separated.

But Oikawa knows Iwaizumi knows he's avoiding him. They catch eyes in the locker room and Oikawa rushes out, letting the door slam behind him. He stands in the hallway, awkwardly. Before this whole mess, he would wait and walk home with Iwaizumi, but now...

It's odd, Iwaizumi breaking up with Suzuki was all Oikawa wanted, but now it just feels... gross.

He keeps thinking about Suzuki admitting that she wasn't him. Of course she's not. And no one else is going to be as good for Iwaizumi as he is. He knows this, apparently they both know it, even Suzuki knows it.

But how the hell is Oikawa supposed to talk to Iwaizumi about it. 'Hello Iwa-chan, so glad your girlfriend dumped you cause she realized we're in love before we did.'

In love...

His cheeks flush as he glances back at the door. That's a whole different topic Oikawa isn't ready to broach.

"How long are you going to avoid me, dumbass?" Iwaizumi snaps, swinging the door open.

Oikawa jumps, stepping backwards. "I'm not avoiding you!"

"Really? That's why we've barely talked in over a week?" Iwaizumi asks.

Oikawa wants to point out that it's been more like a month, but now is probably not the best time.

"I've been busy, practice has been intense."

Iwaizumi presses his fist against Oikawa's back. "Practice is always intense. C'mon, let's walk home."

Oikawa lets out a long huff, but he doesn't argue. He follows him, exiting the gym as they head toward the entrance of the school.

"You're such a pain in my ass, you know that?" Iwaizumi says, breaking the awkward silence between them.

"Me?!" Oikawa gasps, feigning offense. "If anyone is a pain it's you! You were the one all distracted at practice while you had a girlfriend."

Iwaizumi clicks his tongue. "I wasn't distracted. You were just pissed I wasn't paying attention to you the whole time."

Called out.

Oikawa doesn't want to admit Iwaizumi is right. "I'm your setter, Iwa-chan!" he says instead. "You should be be paying attention to me."

Iwaizumi groans. "See! This is the problem. Everything always has to be about you!"

"Are you just upset because your girlfriend dumped you?" Oikawa asks.

"Of course I'm pissed about that, but everything she said was damn true and that's what I'm really pissed about," he growls.

Swallowing, Oikawa stops walking. What did Suzuki say to Iwaizumi? She hadn't told him anything about their conversation, just that they had broken up. "What do you mean?"

"She told me I was with the wrong person. That she couldn't be your replacement anymore. She even pointed out that you two have similar names," he snaps.

"That part is true... we do have similar names," Oikawa mutters.

"Yeah, you do," he huffs, his chest heaving as he pulls in a few deep breaths. "This whole time you've been nothing but rude to me and her and then she dumps me, which you obviously wanted, and then you avoid me?! How the hell am I supposed to take that? You're so damn selfish, Tooru!"

Oikawa swallows. Iwaizumi only uses his first name when he's really pissed; when he can't come up with some shitty nickname to tease him.

He is selfish. He's been so selfish this whole time, thinking about how he couldn't bear to see Iwaizumi with this girl, then he finally gets Iwaizumi back and he avoids him.

"I-I'm sorry," he mutters barely audible.

"What?"

"I said I'm sorry!" Oikawa growls. "It just sucked seeing you with her. You were doing everything with her, you were even teaching her volleyball and I just... I couldn't stand it! And then when she came and told me that me and you should be together, I felt bad for basically breaking you two up."

Iwaizumi blinks, staring at Oikawa. Everything is almost silent, no words passing between them. The sounds of birds echoed in the air, cars rolling down the streets nearby, but the two stare, letting the moment settle.

"She told you we should be together?" Iwaizumi asks.

"W-What did she tell you?!" Oikawa asks, pointing awkwardly at his best friend.

"That she didn't think she was the right person for me and I probably wouldn't have to look far to find what I wanted. It was stupidly cryptic," he mutters. "But now it makes more sense."

That little bitch tricked him into confessing.

Oikawa bites down on his lip and turns away from him. "Yup. It all makes sense. She dumped you because of me. It's all my fault. I'm selfish and horrible and why would you wanna be with someone like me when you had someone as cute as her!"

This is going horribly. Sure, Suzuki had mentioned they would be good for each other and that she knew Oikawa was jealous, but she had never outwardly said Iwaizumi returned his feelings. What an idiot he was!? Of course Iwaizumi didn't like him like that.

"You are selfish," Iwaizumi says. "You're selfish. You're loud. You're obnoxious. Shit," he growls, "I could make a whole long list of all the awful things you are."

"I get it," he snaps, trying not to cry. He doesn't need to look anymore foolish than he already does.

"I dunno if you do," Iwaizumi says and he snakes his fingers through Oikawa's. "You're a lot of horrible things, but I would be nowhere without you. You're my best friend, for better or for worse. It sucked to have you avoiding me because... because I missed you or whatever. Even being with her... I kept missing you."

Oikawa freezes. Iwaizumi's fingers are warm against his, comforting and nice. "So you're not mad?" he asks, turning around to look at him.

"Oh no, I'm livid," Iwaizumi smirks. "You idiot. You'll be making this up to me for weeks."

"I-Iwa-chan..." he stammers, tears welling up in his eyes. "I can make it up to you..."

"You will. You can start by going on an actual date with me."

"Eh?" Oikawa blinks. The last thing he expects is for Iwaizumi to ask him on a date!? "You want to."

"You're so dumb when it comes to anything but volleyball," Iwaizumi says, rolling his eyes.

"That's not true-" he starts to argue, but Iwaizumi stops him.

"I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want to."

Oikawa can't help but smile. "Okay, let's go," he says and leans forward to brush their lips together. He hasn't been able to get it out of his mind... the thought of Iwaizumi kissing her. He wants to erase that memory and make his own instead.

Iwaizumi's free hand comes up to Oikawa's cheek and cups it, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. "Good," he whispers pulling away. "It's settled then."

Heart throbbing, Oikawa's face is bright red but he's never felt more at peace. Finally, he can go on a date with Iwaizumi, they can be together and nothing and no one is going to stand in his way.

He smirks. "Wow, Iwa-chan," he says, squeezing his hand. "Dating a girl who looks like me... has a similar name to mine... If I had known you were so obsessed with me, I would've let you ask me out earlier!"

Iwaizumi immediately frowns and yanks his hand away. "I take it back we're not going anywhere."

"Aw c'mon!" Oikawa pouts, hooking his arm around Iwaizumi's. "It was just a joke!"

"Your jokes suck," Iwaizumi snorts, but he keeps walking, slipping their hands together again.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, leaning against Iwaizumi's shoulder.

"No you're not," he teases.

"I got you to take me on a date, so... no, I'm not," he snorts.

"I knew it," Iwaizumi chuckles.

It feels right. The two of them, laughing again, hand in hand. Oikawa doesn't think it's going to change anytime soon. It's only going to get better.

[mojoflower]

Teen Wolf mpreg fic recs (99% Sterek, 1% Steter)

I know that you love me, even when I lose my head by LunaCanisLupus 22 E, 136k, Complete.  “We’re not mates, Cora,” he insists. “I mean look at him-“  //  “Ouch,” the kid says, no longer pushing that shit eating grin.  //  “He’s- he’s,” Derek tries, at a loss of how to explain why this can’t be possible. Why it shouldn’t be possible.  //  Or the one where Derek gets attacked by hunters, ends up with amnesia and forgets Stiles is his mate.

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Stiles, Alpha Derek, but Stiles is a BAMF, BAMF Stiles, presumably Actual Derek is also a bamf, but College Derek is pretty useless, Heh heh

Wow, this story just grabbed me and didn't let me go and now it's the end of a full day and I have no excuse for abandoning everything except that I was really involved and enjoying the plot.  //  Stiles is such a fucking badass, I love this, he's super-smart and strategizes and handles everything that comes up like a pro and it's totally easy to see why they have such a large and powerful pack. 'College Derek', meanwhile, is a complete sexist asshole (with the whole Alpha/omega thing) who says some super hurtful things in the first half out of sheer ignorance mostly -- although occasionally it's spite. Stiles handles it as well as he can, trying to hide that it hurts and striking back because he has backbone for god's sake... but his bondmark is slowly fading and that's terrifying and tragic.  //  Meanwhile, the Silva pack is due to arrive with some manifest bad intentions, and Peter is lurking around stirring up trouble, and it's a really fucking bad time for Derek to not remember who he is, because it makes their pack vulnerable.  //  Great story.

The Lighthouse Keeper by tugela54 E, 75k, Complete.  On a rural island just off Alaska’s northern Inside Passage, stands a centuries old lighthouse - the perfect sanctuary for its keeper to hide when the moon is full, to burn and rage through its cycle with the townsfolk being none the wiser.  //  But then a new resident comes to Beacon Harbour – a bright-eyed young student chasing an elusive whale species – and all of a sudden those thick stone walls seem paper thin…

Bottom Stiles, Like Whoa,  

 Whoa, that was an intense climax, I'm kinda breathless. Great story. Stiles is earnest and funny (and sooo hot for the giant, hairy, handsome man -- when author says size difference they are not messing around and it's mentioned frequently) and Derek is monosyllabic and awkward. They figure it out eventually, and there is hot sex (did I say size difference and hirsuteness?). Laura's a great werewolf-sister (Derek is the only werewolf) and her son Seth is a cutie. The cast of characters (Chris, Jordon, Finstock, Angus, Gladys and the two First People Miriam and Jonah) are interesting and fleshed-out. Love the plot, and the take on Derek's werewolf (not Teen Wolf style), love the First People lore and rituals, love the setting waaay up in Alaska on this tiny island.  //  (Don't let Major Character Death tag scare you, you're gonna be just fine.)

Hey Lover, I Got a Sugarcane by pibroch (littleblackdog) Steter, E, 17k, Complete.  [References to Mpreg rather than straight-up #mpreg]  “Put Peter on the phone,” Stiles says, too sharp to be polite.  //  “What?” Derek sounds completely thrown. “Stiles, I don’t think— Okay, you’re obviously not understanding what’s happening here. Peter isn’t talking. He’s basically just growling at this point, and he’s rounding on anyone that gets too close. He actually bit me when I tried to take back my pillow. I nearly lost a thumb.”  //  “Derek.” The reality of this shitshow of a situation is finally kicking in, undeniably, and Stiles needs to hear Peter’s voice. “Just trust the omega, okay? Tell him it’s me, and give him the damn phone.”  //  ---"Wrangling Rut-Drunk Alpha Boyfriends 101" by Stiles Stilinski, omega and responsible adult person.

I've loved other things I've read by this author

Delicious. And also funny.

I've Got A Sure Thing by skoosiepants  T, 11k, Complete.  Stiles's water breaks ten miles outside of Beacon Hills.

Fox Stiles, Werefox Stiles, Daddy Stiles

Precious: I love the style, it tumbles and tumbles over itself. Stiles is himself. Derek keeps hanging around, and he loves little Princess Leia. Cora keeps laughing at them. Stiles might be a little confused.

******

He calls Derek and says, “I think your entire family is here, dude,” and Derek roars, “What?” and, “Don't call me dude, “ and, “Fuck, I'll be right over.”

Derek shows up in his EMT uniform and with his partner Boyd, stoic and amused, and the wild look in Derek's eyes is probably as close to a panic as Stiles will ever see him in.

Derek says, “Oh my god, Laura,” and grabs for Prin just as Prin launches herself out of Laura's arms toward him. He swings her up in a practiced movement and settles her on his hip and Laura grins so wide her fangs are showing.

“The pack wanted to meet her, even Mom's here,” she says, gesturing toward a big black wolf that looks almost exactly like Derek in wolf form – the wolf lifts her head and sneezes at them, then goes back to nosing through Stiles's DVD collection.

“Mom,” Derek says, and holds Prin up so she hides his face. Prin tugs at his hair and knees him in the eye and giggles when he shoves her up so her tummy is balanced on the top of his head, it's so cute Stiles can hardly stand it, his life is insane.

“Okay,” Stiles says, clapping his hands together, “I'll make tea.”

I don't think that means what you think it means by ThroughTheTulips  M, 21k, 7 works, Complete.  Ever notice how aliens have mostly similar customs to humans in Stargate? There never seem to be words or concepts that just don't translate. For the most part that makes sense given how they were spread deliberately across the universe, but there should be more weird stuff.  //  So I made some. This is very fluffy and ridiculous. Enjoy.

I simply can't with this. What an unanticipated, hysterical delight.

 I Know Where Babies Come From, Derek by DiscontentedWinter  E, 52k, Complete (series is 132k of deliciousness)  [Implied Mpreg, rather than actual #mpreg].  Stiles finds a baby on the porch.  //  It looks exactly like him.  //  Well, this is awkward.

Favorite, read again, still a favorite

Funny and unique and gripping (and there's one part that's simply fucking heartbreaking, god every.time. I bawl like a baby). I love this so much. It's totally one of my return-again-and-again-comfort-fics (even though there's very little that's slow-paced and domestic about it).

 monday i can fall apart but by friday i'm in love by tryslora  M, 6k, Complete.  It's just past five in the morning and Stiles is barely awake, wearing only sleep pants that hang low below his pregnant belly, and he can't get the damned brand new jar of decaf coffee open. But he has a neighbor, and he's too tired to think that waking someone else up at this hour might not be the best (or politest) of ideas.

Alpha Derek, Omega Stiles, Caretaking,  

lol.  short and funny and sweet and Alpha!Derek is a caretaker (and pregnant omega!Stiles is a sass-spewing dork)

 finger on the trigger and all fired up by tryslora  E, 6k, Complete  [Implied Potential Mpreg rather than #mpreg].  Derek goes undercover to expose a drug trafficking ring running inside of a porn studio. What he finds is Stiles.

Hot and funny.

 I'm Not Immune by moodwriter  E, 24k, Complete.  “Did they inject anything into you? You can hold me back. You can stop me. I can’t stop you.” Stiles is in full blown panic mode now.  //  The one where Stiles and Derek get kidnapped, and sex needs to happen for reasons.

Great story, grows as it's written. Follows a lot of emotional development, tangled in the godawfulfucking situation they're trapped in.

Fire, Fury, and Flame by IAmAVeronica  E, 125k, Complete.  Stiles Stilinski was never going to be the omega who got knocked up right after high school, and then he's accidentally artificially inseminated with a stranger's sperm.  //  Awesome.  //  And the father of Stiles's baby just so happens to be Derek Hale. Half-feral, quite possibly a murderer, and pursued by a gleefully sadistic band of hunters who are only too eager to use Stiles and his baby to hit Derek right where it hurts.  //  Joy.

Omega Stiles, Alpha Derek, Mpreg, Kidnapping, Stalking, cultural ramifications of a/b/o

So, Stiles, the omega-rights activist who never wants anything to do with an Alpha and wants to avoid any of that biological imperative bullshit, winds up pregnant a la Jane the Virgin. BUT. Derek is unwilling to commit, or even to have Stiles tell anyone who the baby-Daddy is. This could be because a complete psychopath has him in her targets.

Kate is one fuck-scary villain, just, crazy as a bag of cats and vicious with it, and the filth that comes out of her mouth is truly chilling.

Stiles gets kidnapped pretty early on, which is frightening enough, and then she's back for another try. At that point, he's kidnapped again, this time by Derek, who whisks him across the country to the Preserve, a werewolf compound in Maine. Here, Stiles is the only human, pregnant and vulnerable and trying to make a temporary life until the baby is born. But will it only be temporary?

There's love, sociopolitical musings, lots of angst, lots of danger. The baby is born about 3/4 of the way through the story, and then Kate comes around to terrorize everyone again. Even though Derek and Stiles are living in a house that's reinforced with bars and a panic room, she still manages to nearly burn Stiles and the baby…

 Rescue Me (& Take Me In Your Arms) by tumtatumtum  E, 34k, Complete (series is 37k so far).  Just when Stiles is starting to reach panic-attack levels of stress, a leather jacket and firm thigh are pressed right up next to him, and an arm is casually thrown over his shoulder. Stiles looks up to thank this kind person who is saving his life, and suddenly forgets what air is.  //  Because HOT. DAMN. Call the police and the fire-man, this guy is smoking.  //  Or the AU where Derek helps save Stiles from an ex, and a steamy BDSM relationship ensues- with feelings all over the place.

Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sub Stiles, Dom Derek

Whoooaa, Nellie. Strap in for a ride, folks. Hot and also hilarious, which is a difficult combo to achieve. Loads of D/s sexy times. Stiles is precious. Derek is possessive and a wee bit insecure. They're awful fun to watch together.  ***The one where Stiles is Alpha Mate which magically means he starts leaking slick outta his ass, even tho he's human.

*******

[Kept trying to find this fic using key words bar and boyfriend and ex-boyfriend... which finally got me there. It's SO worth a re-read or ten.] I also tagged it with fake/pretend relationships, since it's fake for about the first 5 minutes, until Derek puts his hand on the back of Stiles' neck and Stiles moans and MELTS and lo, romantic and sexual interest is born.)

 It's a mad, mad world by ElisAttack  E, 74k, Complete [No #mpreg]  "They call him the Feral Wolf." The man laughs hysterically as Stiles backs away from him, fear coursing through his veins. "Feral Hale. Do you know why? Huh?" The man creeps closer, testing the restraint of his chains, white talcum falling from his skin, swirling in the air like the dust devils plaguing the wasteland. "Because he's fucking mad."  //  Or the one where Stiles is a prisoner looking to return home, but to do so, he may have to rely on a questionable drifter.

Really enjoyed this. Very interesting take on alpha/omega, haven't seen it before. And yay for apocalyptic mad max-type world. Scary as fuck.

a little advice for aspiring fires by The Byger (Byacolate)  E, 42k, Complete.  Regardless of his sadly lacking social circle, Stiles was going to have to get some physical contact or he was going to explode. Seriously. It’d be messy and Derek would probably become even more emotionally constipated having to clean up little bits of Stiles from his pristine walls and furniture.

Touch-Starved, Skin Hunger, Omega Stiles, Sassy Stiles, stiles talks CONSTANTLY, Mpreg, Kidfic

But We're Still Sleeping Like We're Lovers by CharWright5  E, 110k, Complete  [No #mpreg].  There are several things Stiles Stilinski knows to be facts: he's a werecoyote like his parents; his twin sister Malia could use a filter more than him; he's an Omega and terrified of his upcoming heat; and Derek Hale-McCall will never see him as anything more than his kid brother's best friend. Doesn't stop Stiles from asking the Alpha to help him during his heat. Or from developing some serious feelings that go beyond the bedroom. Basically, he's totally screwed, in more ways than one.

Fox Stiles, Creature Stiles, he's not a fox, but when I'm cruising that tag, I'll like to read this story

Idiot boys. Hot sex. More idiot boys. Angst. Fluff.

Jurisdiction by elisera  M, 7k, Complete (series complete at 20k).  John is a pretty level-headed guy. He wasn’t always, back during his own Sturm und Drang period, but he married a firecracker of a woman and got a kid with an affinity for trouble like he got payed for ending up in it, so someone had to level out or they would’ve ended up living in a treehouse or Lapland doing god knows what. Anyway, getting a hold of his temper is one of John’s better life achievements. It makes him a good sheriff and it kept him from blowing his lid too badly those last two years when Stiles started acting out in a way that John had never seen before.  //  But the temper is still there.  //  He’s reminded of it when he comes home on a random Saturday in March after spilling his milkshake all over his uniform shirt only to notice he didn’t have a spare in the station and finds Stiles bend over the kitchen sink with hunched shoulders.

Papa Stilinski is a total badass and mmm mmmm mmmm, so is Derek. Stiles has got some awesome muscle looking out for his best interests.

Into Something New by marguerite_26  E, 9k, Complete.  [Implied Mpreg rather than #mpreg].  Something is happening to Stiles. He’s losing time. Something is messing with his head, with his body. Maybe if he felt better he’d think to be worried.

 Nowhere Man by 1lostone  E, 76k, Complete.  [Mpreg (off screen)]  When Stiles leaves Beacon Hills, he does it without a backwards glance. For two years he is happy on the other side of the country- until someone targets not only him, but his daughter.  //  Unfortunately, the asshole bodyguard his dad hired to make sure he gets back home is none other than Derek Hale. And that's really not very good for either of them.

1lostone is, as always, the goddess of the lengthy, painful, disturbing, angsty, violent, sexy story. God, I love it.

The Second Coming (of Werewolf Jesus) by lupinus, uraneia  E, 40k, Complete.  Stiles was enjoying his senior year until his crazy English teacher decided he made the best candidate to gestate Derek's kid. Now Stiles is a seventeen-year-old pregnant dude and he and Derek have to figure their shit out, because in nine months they are going to be tied together for the rest of their lives.

Sweet: very fluffy and domestic.

Pride and Place by DarkAthena (seraphim_grace)  E, 63k, Complete.  (Part of series A/B/O bodice rippers) [Mpreg, Discussion of mpreg, no men were pregnant in the making of this fic].  Derek Hale, Earl of Osterbrook, has inherited, following the death of Lord Montfort, a run down house in Yorkshire he neither needs nor wants, convinced his staff are robbing him, and with the mystery of a missing ward, he manages to get himself talked into a ridiculous bet, that he cannot pass as a steward until Midwinter, nearly two months away. So can he maintain the charade? Find the missing child? and manage to turn the shambles of a house around, or will he give up and let Peter take the thousand pounds he bet.  //  now with explicit epilogue - the rest of the story is teen rated though, so if you don't like the idea of explicit sex in your bodice rippers - just don't read that bit.

Great story.

The Well of Living Waters by kalpurna  E, 30k, Complete.  King Derek takes a consort.

 Within His Power by NoBezel  E, 69k, Complete.  [Discussion of mpreg]  Derek is a wolfish cyborg, brother of the Governor of California, heir to the Hale fortune. Stiles is a un-sequenced human in a world of designer DNA. When Derek is forced to choose a mate, no one expects him to choose Stiles. To be fair, Derek doesn't expect him to say no.

Pretty fucking phenomenal. Lots of world-building and political intrigue. If you're in it for the tropes, you'll be disappointed, but otherwise it's intense and dense and lovely.

The Threat of Human Sacrifice by vampireisthenewblack  E, 45k, Complete.  The sheriff bought a crib and made Derek help him put it together. Stiles thought of Hemingway and the shortest, most heartbreaking story ever told, and dismantled it on his own while Derek was out.  //  [The one where Stiles getting knocked up is the least of his worries.]

So excellent and intense.

The Honey and the Sting by the_ragnarok  M, 19k, Complete (series still wip)  Derek didn't remember what happened when he went into heat. He could only assume the worst. The truth may be stranger than that.

Beautiful.

Tiny Houses by ohmyjetsabel  E, 77k, Complete.  "So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.  //  God, he dreams.  //  He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."

Fuck.

 Shifts by gryvon  E, 15k, Complete.  Stiles has what he's always secretly wanted - he's in a relationship with Derek and he's one of Derek's betas - but all that gets turned upside down when Gerard kidnaps him and his unexpected baby.

Who doesn't want Stiles having emotionally confusing sex with Derek, getting knocked up unbeknownst to either of them, and then kidnapped for the future baby? I mean, really. It's classic.

A Mating Moon by unpossible  E, 37k, Complete.  (Series 55k so far.) [this is not mpreg, just to be clear]  “Hey, Scott, so, I uh, there’s this amazingly hot guy and I’m uh, gonna spend the weekend with him but, you know, just to be careful, I’m sending you his picture, so if by some terrible chance my bloated corpse shows up sometime Monday, just, y’know pass this along to the authorities.” He pauses. “Uh. Kidding?” and then hangs up with a rush of air.  //  “That is the worst voicemail in the history of voicemails,” Derek says.

fucking fantastic

 (Once in a) Blue Moon by clarkoholic, skywardsmiles  E, 60k, Complete.  (Series 63k so far.)  Stiles and Derek are getting along, but they’re not a family, and they’re sure as hell not mates. Christ, they’re basically just two stupid guys who happened to get pregnant because of a full moon and sheer dumb luck.

Oh, the angst, the pining, the guilt, the blame, the anger. Total pain-fest while we watch Stiles nearly die from the burden of the pregnancy. Lovely sweet ending, of course.

Tried and Tested Series by dancinbutterfly  E, 53k, 12 works, Complete.  In which Derek has a sex emergency with unplanned results, Stiles could be the baby daddy on one of those horrible MTV pregnancy shows, Sheriff Stilinski takes in strays and life in Beacon Hills never has a dull moment, not even when things are calm.

Really wonderful series. Stopped at Part 11, so am waiting for updates. A good investment of time, even incomplete. ;D  //  [Huh, evidently I missed an update somewhere along the line!]

In the Solstice of our Hearts by ravingrevolution  E, 73k, Complete.  "You're not putting that up your butt," Scott told him flatly and Stiles couldn't stop the pissed off whine he made, but his friend continued. "Stiles, you can't put that up your butt, you know that. Your butt won't be ready for anything to go in it until-"  //  "Okay, okay!" he said, flailing his hands to stop his friend's lecture. "Message received, no butt stuff until I'm pounced on by some freaking animal in the forest and ravished to within an inch of my life. Got it. Thanks, Scotty, I mean heaven forbid I actually try to take control of my life and give myself a fighting chance or anything."  //  "Not all alphas are animals," Scott said quietly.  //  Maybe he was right, but Stiles wasn't holding his breath.

Omega Stiles, Berserk Stiles, omega beast, everyone's a virgin, Hurt/Comfort, care taking

The one where there's a Mate Run in the woods, and Derek with his pack manage to frighten Stiles up a tree from whence he falls and is impaled on a branch (ouch!) and then they spend a week in a cave while Stiles heals. Meanwhile, Kate and her cronies are sneaking into the month-long Mate Run with the intent to a)finally kill Derek and b) sneakily bond with some omegas. So Stiles goes berserk, which is the omega form of a hulking violence monster, to protect Derek. (Story could have stopped there, but carries on for another 1/3.)

[ajora]

I have had a very long day, which was very painful. It ended with slightly less pain and a bit of scotch and I think I impressed some way higher-paid people than me because we talked and they asked why I hadn’t joined in on important higher-up meetings. Anyway, long story short, I can’t believe I got a breakthrough in ideas after a shower and intense burnout at the end of the day and I’m mad at myself.

Changed some fic titles. Like with Beta AU, the chapters serve as individual fics of a broader work in sequence, while the scenes are actually just chapters in those fics.

And just before I go on, a note: I don’t actually support incest irl. It’s not something I look for in fiction, but I don’t mind it if a) the power dynamic is either equal or it’s never an issue in the first place, b) there’s no chance of offspring, c) the people involved didn’t grow up together. Faris/Lenna hits all three of those points, with bonus best-damn-relationship-in-fiction I’ve ever seen (they’re so supportive of each other even when they didn’t know each other! Faris is so gentle and kind and supportive to Lenna when she’s abrasive with everyone else! Lenna comforted Faris when Syldra died! Lenna talks to Faris with the utmost respect while still using a form of Japanese that’s very personal! Faris will go above and beyond for Lenna, including daring rescues and very nearly dying in the process! They are always a united front! There were so many long fireside chats! Faris agreed to get into a dress just for Lenna! If Lenna dies at the end of the game, Faris takes the throne in honor of her (and absolutely not because she wants it--if they both survive, Faris splits her time between Lenna and her crew)! They are so, so dedicated to each other! and then there’s that wonderful Amano art I have in poster form). They’re just so good together that the incest is a mild inconvenience at worst and prime angst fodder at best.

Anyway! As much as I love Faris/Lenna, and the broader work’s scope is going to make it such a complicated mess over the course of the game (the first 3 fics span the game), I’m actually really enjoying the aftermath. In sum:

Changing Course - Falling in love, complicated by grief over Syldra’s death, Lenna discovering they’re related and breaking it off, further complicated by Alexander’s death, Faris and Lenna end up being a united front on everything despite the breakup, off to Galuf’s world.

Reversing Course - No clue if they can get back home. Faris and Lenna keep dancing around the whole accidental incest issue, but it’s not helped by all those long fireside chats and they really do miss being together but are trying to be good about it. Galuf disapproves and Butz doesn’t actually care, but they get kind of sick of this and remind the women that no one actually knows them on Galuf’s world. A reversal of course on the accidental incest thing and then the Macross homage and they trade pendants as a confirmation of their dedication to each other. Faris meets Kelgar in passing and gets a brief education in her options outside of piracy or royalty. Galuf dies, Krile gets adopted by the group, and trauma with ExDeath’s castle of writhing living flesh. But, as FFV is ultimately about friendship and support networks, all this trauma gets mitigated.

Setting Course - ExDeath merges the worlds to gain the power of the Void. If Faris and Lenna are really gonna do this, Lenna has to follow Faris’ example--Faris has, after all, lived as a man for 15 years and knows all about hiding potentially destructive secrets. Further complications when Faris thinks she left Lenna in safety back at Tycoon Castle, only for the castle to get sucked into the Void and Lenna to get possessed by Melusine, and boy is she developing a complex now. And then Faris’ crew gets sucked into the Void, along with Butz’s hometown and pretty much everything else and it’s a mess. I think I’m gonna go with the Faris-dies ending for max angst. No worries, though, she’ll only be dead for a year before the Dawn Warriors decide she’s better off alive and kick her out of the afterlife. 

The Surgate Experiment - The merged world still trying to get used to sudden castles and townships appearing and deserts where there were none, and so on. Krile discovers that the Light Warriors can still access the magics/skills they learned from their Crystals, if in slightly different forms; also discovers that the merging of the worlds brought back the sky dragon population from extinction and hands eggs to Faris and Lenna because I demand dragon friends. Kelgar planted the seeds in Faris’ head, but the Karnak rebellion waters them. Queen Polymja Yllesia of Karnak being... not a great ex, honestly, and poking at Faris’ honor just helps those seeds along (”Of course I used you, little love. You were a delightful little distraction to get my advisers off the notion of me remarrying. Just like you’re using me to distract from your affair. That’s what royalty does, we use each other. ... Honestly, incest is so far down on the list of terrible things nobles have done that you really need not worry. I had my father, husband, and cousin assassinated and never regretted it.” ... basically, lololol, Star Sapphire came from the first fic incarnation’s Queen Karnak). Krile, upon listening to the scholars and after the headache of fighting Jacole over borders and dealing with Polymja, abdicates the throne of Bal. Faris tries to argue the case for a shift from absolute monarchy to constitutional, but Lenna is reluctant bc she’s so used to taking after her father that she doesn’t know how else to serve her country--all she has ever been taught was how to be a queen. But she relents eventually, because she can’t bear to be on the opposite side of an issue with Faris, and the whole incest thing compounds the weight of the crown.

Transition is mostly just about the radical shift of powers as Walse remains the only absolute monarchy, Lenna’s appointed heir is displeased by the loss of absolute monarchy, the Light Warriors adjust to being living manifestations of the Crystals’ wills, and Krile’s new life as archaeologist unearths yet another Lonkan refugee/ancient evil because Enuo, Omega, and Shinryuu were all Lonka’s fault in the original incarnation of this fic and Lenna’s dumbass cousin gets himself involved in that shit. (Lenna is disappointed in her choice of heirs and might have decided to move up the timetable for a transition to a more socialist form of government.) About this point would be where I’d intended to incorporate Legend of the Crystals, but that’s not happening anymore I don’t think--I don’t see LotC as canon. tbh this is the least defined of the fics.

Okay, now I think I can sleep.

[bigskydreaming]

LOL in all honesty though I’m way too amused by my own Jack Frost joke and its literally from a Bobby/Christian fanfic I wrote like, twelve years ago or something. It was right after Morrison introduced the idea of Christian in his run for purposes of Emma angst, and then they had that Emma solo, and I took that and ran with that fueled entirely by Rage and Spite, as I am wont to do. I now have no idea where said fanfic is, sadly. This was definitely way before Ao3. I think I only posted it on LJ, on an account where my friends list was like....entirely people from an entirely different fandom soooooo probably why that fic never really caught on. Whatever, I write fic more for myself anyway lmao.

It was pretty good though, think it would’ve held up well. The basic premise had to do with Dark Beast, the AU version of Hank from Age of Apocalypse. See, in the comics, when the few survivors of the Age of Apocalypse reality ended up in the 616 reality after it was destroyed, not all of them ended up in the present. Dark Beast, for example, ended up like twenty years in the past. And he didn’t have most of his memories, amnesia from trauma from the cross-dimensional travel or something. Which is when he met a then teenage Emma Frost, who’d just run away from home after everything that happened with her dad and Christian, and she ended up restoring Dark Beast’s memories with her telepathy, so they actually have history in the comics.

So I went with the idea of, okay what if you let Christian have agency in his trauma instead of giving it to Emma, who lbr, has PLENTY of story material on her own. So my premise was that it was Christian who ran away from home and ended up meeting Dark Beast and restoring his memories. And then Dark Beast, who has always been just as obsessed with creating the perfect mutant as Mr. Sinister is, if not more, because he’s like....equally obsessed with proving he’s better than Sinister....well instead of experimenting on the Morlocks, which is what he went on to do in the comics, he looks elsewhere. He never went after Scott or Jean, because he’s also a coward and Sinister scares him shitless, and DB knew damn well there was no such thing as a reality where Sinister hadn’t already called dibs on Scott and Jean’s genes. BUT, Dark Beast also knew from his own reality who all the other most powerful mutants would end up being....years before their powers even manifested in this reality. And since I’m me, of course I wrote it so that like, DB decided to focus on the other one of the 05 destined to grow up to be an omega mutant. 

And so he had Christian, who was young and easily manipulated because Love Me, I Need External Validation, My Last Name is Frost as In My Family’s Credo is What If We’re All Frosty All The Time....he had Christian use his telepathy to like, prompt Bobby into running away before the actual event that led to Xavier and Scott finding him and saving him and him joining the X-Men. Where Bobby of course ‘happened’ to bump into DB, who took him in along with his other young protege Christian, so he could like, secretly conduct experiments on Bobby blah blah you get it. 

But eventually Christian and Bobby fell in lurv and Christian was like what no, this is wrong, bad, not doing this anymore, so they run away together, and then it was basically just me writing them as a mutant Bonnie and Clyde who are gay and do crime together and say like, fuck all the adult mutants who try and manipulate them and other kids like them. Like Xavier, who eventually tried to get Bobby to join the X-Men and Bobby was like lol no, hard pass. Or the Hellfire Club, who eventually tried to recruit Christian except he was like lol no, hard pass. And then they were basically like this Chaotic Good power couple that just popped up here and there fucking shit up in a well-intentioned way that made half the X-Men grind their teeth and the other half snicker, and same with the Acolytes and other various groups. And there wasn’t really anything anyone could do about it because its canon that Bobby’s only real weakness is to psychics and having a world-class psychic as your boyfriend really kinda nips that weakness in the bud. Unless you come up against like, a cosmic-class psychic like Jean Grey, but lucky for them, she just thinks they’re adorable and tends to go whoops, missed them again every time they slip through the X-Men’s fingers.

And ultimately they decided their real mission in life was to rescue really young mutants whose powers manifested early and put them in danger, and make sure they get a chance to grow up without the various factions going ‘we’ll protect you, but only if you grow up to support our agenda and be One of us, shhhh, don’t fight it, just sign your life away on the dotted line, all the cool kids are doing it.’ And also me being me, and it being like 2004 ish? I think? Maybe 2005. Anyway. So my other preoccupation of the time was the Academy X kids so of course we’re talking like Julian and Josh and Cessily and the like, who were all like, adorable little ten year olds at this point in time, but also V. Beyond the Capacity of These Two Hapless Gays to Handle Without Help. Like, apparently omega powers and world-class telepathy do not actually qualify you to effectively parent a mob of young mutant menaces when you’re only 21-22 yourselves, who knew. So they ended up just showing up on the doorstep of one of Emma’s properties, mutant menace mob in tow, as she was the White Queen by now, and Christian greeting her facepalm moment with ‘Hey Ems, remember how you always wanted to be a teacher?’

And then there was this bit where Emma was something like “I’m a bit busy trying to take over the world, darling, try me again after my mid-life crisis.”

And Christian was all: “You can teach and take over the world at the same time, y’know, some of us are capable of this little thing called multi-tasking?”

And Bobby helpfully piped up: “I can pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time.”

Cue Emma’s wrinkled nose and accusing stare at her brother: “What on earth do you see in him?”

But Bobby just turned around and was like: “Umm, for starters, my ass is amazing. Have you not seen it? Here, touch it. Go ahead, you can squeeze it.”

Emma: .....

Christian, shrugging: “Well I mean, he’s not wrong.”

Emma: “If I agree to this idiotic plan of yours will you leave immediately and never come back?”

Bobby, stage whispering: “Tell her we still want holiday visits, so we can be the cool gay uncles who show up and spoil them rotten and thus they love us more than her. But don’t tell her that last part.”

Christian, dutifully: “We want to still come by for holidays so we can be the cool gay uncles who show up and spoil them rotten and thus they love us but no more than you, an equal amount only.”

Emma: “I’m standing right here you imbeciles.”

Bobby, still whispering: “Make sure that includes Easter. I’m pretty sure if I show up in a bunny costume I can make her head explode.”

Christian: “Just to be clear, that includes - “

Emma, a vein in her temple throbbing: “Just give me the children already.”

Bobby, gathering up the kids in a crowd around him, all noisy and giggling and clamoring for his attention: “Okay kids, so here’s the plan. From now on, you guys are gonna stay here in this big old house with Auntie Em!”

Emma, appalled: “Oh. My. God.”

Christian frowns: “Emma, please stop trying to fry my boyfriend’s brain. I’m not going to let you.”

And then the kids swarmed through the door past her into the hallway and there were the sounds of stuff breaking, distracting her for a bit before she like, glared at Bobby and was all: “This is all your doing!”

Bobby, hurt: “Only mostly! Chris and I are a team. A united front. It was a 60/40 split.”

Christian: “Well....”

Bobby: “Okay, 70/30.”

Christian: “You said you were going out to get some waffles to make breakfast in the morning and you came home with waffles, ice cream, and Julian on your shoulders.”

Bobby: “He followed me home!”

Christian: “That’s not how he tells it.”

Bobby, whirling on the ten year old Julian Keller who’s playing a Gameboy and looking entirely unconcerned: “You little traitor.”

Julian flipped him off.

Bobby, scandalized: “He did NOT learn that from me.”

Julian, still not looking up from his game: “Yes I did.”

And that was when Christian started dragging his boyfriend back to their car, before Bobby can get into an actual fight with a ten year old, yelling back over his shoulder at Emma: “Okay, great, thanks so much for doing this, let us know if you need us to bring anything when we come back in a few days with the second batch.”

Emma, distracted and trying to do a headcount: “Yes, fine, be gone already. ...Wait. What second batch? DRAAAAAAAKE!!”

But it was too late as the car is halfway to her big mansion gates by then, Bobby cackling: “Hey, we should totally get a dog. Like a little foofy one.”

Christian, knowing better than to ask but asking anyway: “And why is that?”

Bobby: “Bet you anything I can get her to say “I’ll get you and your little dog too!’”

Christian: “I’d appreciate it for both our sakes if you never do or say anything to suggest to my sister you’ve ever compared her to the Wicked Witch of the West. I mean, not that she’d protest on moral grounds, but she takes her color schemes very seriously. And you do know you don’t actually have to provoke her quite so much...”

Bobby: “Mmmm....agree to disagree. It’s the principle of the matter.”

Christian: “What principle? What matter?”

That was the gist of that scene anyway. Dialogue’s probably different, but you get it.

Ugh, I probably have the whole thing sitting in an old email account somewhere because that’s always been my main way of backing stuff up, is emailing it to myself. Problem is, I think I had a specific fandom email account back then and I don’t know what it is anymore lol. 

[carpemermaidtales]

WIP Meme

The Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous

Oh boy, thanks for the tag @gracie137blogs​ now we get to delve into the WIP Folder of Doom™️ hahahaha I do actually tend to name my files with something descriptive because I have somewhat of an archiving habit from my day job, so I don’t think any of these will be toooo wild. Long AF list, so under a cut to save your dash ;)

Drarry

A Fragile Web - wand bond hogwarts 8th year repair - Ah, an aging wip with 20k that’s going no where. Good to see you again, old friend. Looking mighty fine with that thick coating of dust you’re sporting. New Year’s Promises - Another aging wip that’s nearly all written that I can’t seem to finish arg! Maybe this year will be the year?? Who knows, all I know is that I keep meaning to finish it so I can release it sometime between Dec-March every year I attempt to get it done. *sweats loudly* Post War WWW - This was going to be my HD Big Bang project until I had to drop because of my work schedule. I had some really fun stuff planned with it, especially Draco working with tinkering with magical objects and charms spells. Snapchat Sexting - Ohhhhh I need to finish this!!! Dang I started this in like Feb and forgot all about it, but it’s the usual whacky concept of tech comes to the wizarding world as a vehicle for Drarry to sext via social media hahaha. Harry is very Shook™️ in this little fic. Accidental Marriage Bond - Oh nooo they’re accidentally married and bound magically oh noooooo. Kidfic Adoption Partners - Probably my fave of my wips that I haven’t had much time to work on, the idea is that drarry are very close business partners that are mistaken for partner-partners when draco decides he wants to adopt. Grimmauld Place is Sick??? - Idk what to call this one hahaha, but it’s basically your run of the mill oh no Harry isn’t sure what’s up with GP and Draco Malfoy is His Only Hope at Finding Answers.

Victuuri

Banquet AU Canon Diverge - Omg this was my big project at the beginning of the year that I put on pause after almost 30k because it’s only 3 chapters in and it’s already so big. Basically just a big YOI canon divergence after the banquet and clothes sharing and social media. Yuuri wears Victor’s Olympic RU jacket and I get a little emosh every time I think about it :’))))

Klance

Our Hearts Ablaze - a/b/o in space - Just your basic oh no I thought I was one class and turns out I’m another but no worries because your pal has your back and will help you out through this Trying Time. Amnesia Lance - Back around season 2 I had this wip idea where Lance gets hit during battle or whacks his head somehow and wakes up with amnesia and thinks team voltron kidnapped him. FWB Klance - Probably what it says on the tin tbh Waxplay Klance - Hnnggg my candle-moment fic. Just needs one scene to be complete, note to self please go back and finish this. Let Me Take a Bite Out of You - lovebug/fakedating/soulmate/garrison au - A wip I started and even posted ch 1 of last year because I’m a monster and every time I get a comment from a reader hoping the next chapter is coming I cower under a blanket. It’s not abandoned, though, I swear. I just need to untangle the plot and write the damn thing. It’s a biiiig epic with conspiracy, a race against time, and everything ending up just as it should when the series timeline starts.

CaPri

Jaimeric Modern Fake Dating AU - Holy shit this story is massive. It was plotted out with @goldentruth813​ and @gracie137blogs​ months back when we were crying together about Jaimeric and Aimeric and how we needed a story where he lived, so this is our version of that.

Berenger Character Study - I read Pet and then Berencel took over my life. This is just a short Berenger POV character study of the events in Pet.

Zutara Accidental Bond Post War - A maaaassive outline for a story picking up right where the Agni Kai with Azula ends and the events of that fight cause a spirit bond to manifest in Katara and Zuko so that they’re tied together and can hear each other’s heartbeat. In the midst of putting the Fire Nation back together they have to embark on a journey to the spirit world to find out what happened to them and if they can undo it. Haikyuu!! Oisuga - Fake Dating - Oh no >:)))) Suga’s parents >:)))) want to set him up with marriage interviews >:)))) and he makes up a fake boyf >:)))) and Oikawa over hears and thinks the description fits him well enough >:)))) so he slides in and pretends to be the fake boyf >:)))) and now they’re invited to a weekend family reunion at Suga’s family onsen in Miyagi >:)))) Oisuga Week - Starbursts - Need to finish up these last 2 chapters but this is a wip that started for a ship week in august that’s been post-as-i-go, essentially Oh no, and they were roommates with looootttsss of pining. HQSS - Haikyuu!! secret santa exchange fic that’s nearly done, can’t talk much about it but it’s cute and for a very fun ship <3 Kurosuga - FWB - A future fic plot from a convo on an hq writing server about Kuroo and Suga being friends with benefits while falling in love with each other the whole time, so a big pining, bittersweet sexy fic dealing with hiding emotions and soaking up as much physical intimacy as they can get away with because their touches speak so much louder than their words. Original 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 Soooo I’m kinda....doing a thing.... 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 Matchmaking Ghost - This is the wip I did the 7-7-7 meme with. If you enjoyed Phoenix Repair Services then you might like this one, it’s a pretty similar concept of house repair going totally wrong with a handyman from the protag’s past to fix the mess, only now there’s a ghost involved in the mix haha! Also it’s tentatively set in Boston because haunted New England houses are a Vibe™️. It’s got a persnickety ghost and a snarky protag who refers to himself as “””emotionally efficient””” because he’s the picture of good mental health 😹 😹 There are 12 other wips that have gathered in this folder but I’ll save the deets for later, this one is the most fleshed out at this point.

Sooo that’s me and my writing folder right now hahaha, someone send a shovel so I can dig myself out, yeah?

Tagging: If you want to play, you’re tagged!

[nichebim]

Sanders Sides/ Boku no Hero Academia Quirk AU

Yes, you heard me.

Maybe this warrants some context.

So, I was looking for bizarre crossover fanfiction, as you do, and I came across one Sanders Sides and BNHA fic called “What Makes Up Midoriya” by kalopsic on ao3. I read it and, it’s a bit rough but damn did the idea stick in the best ways.

Anyways, I can’t seem to write a fic fast enough to post it . I’m already working on trying to adapt it into a comic or something but I’d honestly rather just read it. I already posted this on my ao3 account, though I don’t have any fics written there but I’m gonna copy and paste the google doc here. There will be criticism of the original fic and if you end up reading it, kalopsic, just know that I love your fanfiction and will be waiting for your next update if you’re still working on it.

Basic plot: My Hero Academia--Canon Divergence

The divergence being that Izuku basically had physical manifestations of the Sanders sides

Sides:

Rin/ Anxiety: didn’t start out with dark bags like real Thomas’ Anxiety, he developed them over time for reasons I’ll say later

Yoshi/ Morality: the child of the group, as opposed to Thomas’ being the dad

Akio/ Hero/ Princey: basically Roman but Izuku just wanting to be a hero

Satoshi/ Logic: basically Logan

Original fic dislikes:

each side had a quirk and I felt that, that it easily made Izuku very OP (overpowered), even they acknowledged it,  but I just felt like it was too much, no matter how convenient it was (Prince character had the power to double Izuku’s quirk power, Anxiety had the power to cause illusions, Morality had the power to heal, Logic could strategize)

everyone just dismissing his quirk just because that's how everyone treated him in MHA; SERIOUSLY EVERY SEPARATE PERSONALITY HAD ITS OWN QUIRK! HOW IS THAT NOT HERO MATERIAL?! It just didn’t make any sense to me and made me feel disillusioned.

Even if the sides didn't have quirks, they would still be useful; it just seemed like the author was looking for excuses to keep Izuku on track for receiving One For All

Likes:

story had a lot of potential to explore Izuku’s character and emotions, especially if I keep it the same track of it being undiscovered for the majority of his life

It’s just an interesting idea to see these characters placed in such a situation that would for sure require teamwork on the field and each of their reaction and reception to certain events and responsibilities

each facet of his personality may hold more radical opinions or measures to complete certain tasks that Izuku may not want to believe he’d be capable of or like (kinda exploring his character, like I said before); maybe Rin is willing to kill or sacrifice people for “the greater good” kinda thing

if I keep it in the same track of him not discovering it until he’s fourteen or fifteen, it could keep his “growing up quirkless” complex he retains in the show and I think watching work it out between all of the facets of his personality would be nice and comforting; they help him move through the whole treating people with “heroic” quirks like they’re on a pedestal and his inferiority complex

I like the whole emotional aspect of the sides, it’s kinda what entices me about this concept

Things that stay the same:

they first manifest at his thought of “I don’t want to be alone”

they’re basically all the same as Logic, Morality, Anxiety and Hero

he still meets All Might

Sludge villain still happens

he could summon each one individually if he wants

Rin does cares about everyone and the constant danger they’re in causes him so much stress/anxiety (minor change in that he develops the bags overtime)

Changes:

no, each side will not have a quirk

I don’t know if I’ll have them be able to directly talk to him like they do inside his head; small handicap that I feel would help the story would be that he could only talk to them in their physical form but I don’t think I’ll adhere to that for the sake of convenience

he will not get One For All, or at least if he does, it will not be like the canon version, maybe All Might will go with his original plan of bestowing it on one of the students in UA and he saw Izuku has potential

I’ll focus on the growing bond of the personalities because they manifested too late and honestly too close to high school that they need to learn teamwork and cooperation between each other and how to master their quirk

the sides are not omniscient; they don’t come into existence immediately knowing what they are and how they work; they’re all kinda blown away when they appear out of nowhere

he doesn’t need a phrase or punchline to summon them

they choose to have their own names: Satoshi with kanji meaning clear-thinking and quick-witted for Logic, Yoshi with kanji meaning joyful for Morality, Akio with kanji for hero and manly, and Rin with kanji for dignified, severe and cold

Satoshi will develop his need for glasses since he’s always reading and, unwisely, often does it in dark lighting; the only one who needs glasses

Maybe just to have fun, I’ll have each side actually be the other characteristic at their core, like how Yoshi/Morality is actually Izuku’s Hero and not Akio; possibility is Satoshi is actually Anxiety/ Izuku’s fear because at his core, he doesn’t want Izuku to become a hero because it’s reckless and dangerous even though he has all the statistics showing him that it’s, for the most part, a safe enough job with experience and training, and Rin could be Izuku’s strategic heart because he could sense the weakness in any tactic and theirs but he also knows all the possibilities that the plan could go wrong and that’s what makes him so stressed and anxious (I don’t know, this one kinda feels weak); what could Akio be, if he’s not the Hero? Eh, I don’t think I should do this, it’s kinda powerful on its own with just the revelation of Yoshi being Izuku’s true heroic heart

Overview of the “Sides” quirk:

-four full-bodied duplicates of Izuku can be manifested at Izuku’s will; each duplicate houses different aspects of Izuku’s personality

-when a Side is injured, time spent in Izuku’s mind will heal them; time it takes depends on the severity of the injurys

-if a Side’s body is destroyed or “killed” they will regenerate within Izuku’s mind and he can summon them again

-the Sides aren’t hivemind clones but aren’t completely independently people; can feel and think for themselves but regain energy in the time Izuku keeps them stored in himself and have Izuku’s safety as their number one priority instinctually; irrationally ready to die for Izuku (Rin is more subtle about it)

-by default are summoned in the Sanders Sides order of a circle with Izuku standing at the head and Satoshi to his right and Rin at Satoshi’s right, Akio to Rin’s right and Yoshi to Akio’s right, by Izuku’s left; standing in a circle

-farthest Izuku can summon them is twenty feet away from him

-can summon them at light speed after enough practice

-can summon them off the ground (places above him and the like) after a bit of practice

-if he gets One for All, the power Izuku uses for One for All (like 5%) gets distributed evenly between them (they end up with 1% each); it takes them a while to figure this out when they went one hundred percent but all of them were only at twenty-something

-the Sides gain whatever memories Izuku has, even when they’re separated from him but it doesn’t work the other way around until the mind meld; for instance, if Izuku found out an important piece of information while the Sides weren’t there and then Izuku took them back in, they would automatically know what the information is but if a Side found out, then they would have to intentionally tell or “send” the memory/info to Izuku when they’re in the mind

Little Character Quirks (Not the superpower kind):

-Rin hogs Izuku’s phone because (since he’s Izuku’s fear, doubt and pessimism amplified into one single person) he can recognize everything that is potentially dangerous and fatal around him and uses the phone to distract himself; if he’s sitting on the couch by himself, he can recognize about fifteen different fire hazards and weak points in the living room and the danger gives him potentially crippling anxiety even though he knows that the majority of the danger is highly unlikely to happen; he distracts himself by reading articles of all the good things that have happened in the passing year and good deeds that people have done because his mind tends to take a turn for the worst in terms of his faith in humanity

-Satoshi is more believing in the fact that heroes are pretentious assholes, but in much fancier, intellectual words; people like Mt. Lady and Endeavor disgust him, whereas Izuku simply doesn’t care for them; don’t know where he stands on All Might; he, like Logan, wants Izuku to have a career in the scientific field and reminds him of it every other hour

-Akio is very quick to start a fight; has little inhibition and is very confident in his abilities, since he is Izuku’s brave, “heroic” side so he’s quick to act on whatever impulse he has even if he knows it won't end well.

-Yoshi is the ultimate All Might otaku--Izuku’s fanaticism but amplified about ten times--becomes incapacitated every time they talk to All Might. TH3 PHANBOI.

-They each have a different favorite food; Izuku with his pork cutlet bowl, Satoshi with his grilled salmon (he’s a simple man), Akio and his beef teriyaki bowl, Yoshi with his onigiri and bento box-lunch (he’s partial to the cute bento box, the kind that has panda onigiri and octopus sausage), and Rin with his ramen (doesn’t like eating it as much because he’s scared of choking--he has to have a really shitty day to eat it)

-Rin and Akio are suckers for Yoshi (though they’ll never admit to it), since he’s like the child of the group

-Rin can (and actually likes to) cook; learned how to by spending most of his time with his mom and Yoshi; has a little handkerchief that he wraps around his head to cover his hair when he cooks; he keeps it tucked into his front pocket, flowing out in classic emo fashion; makes Yoshi’s cute bento boxes for lunch, though he’ll take that secret to his grave and made Yoshi swear to do so as well; eventually tells the rest and they find it hilarious because he can make the bento boxes super cute; the first one to find out, aside from Yoshi, is Akio and he will help him out with cooking the octopus dogs since he gets really anxious around the jumping grease and Yoshi can’t cook for shit (friendship?); eventually, when everyone finds out, he begins to regularly cook for them since it relieves his stress after a while in the dorms

-ironically, Satoshi is the best fighter of all of them because he has the technique down to a fucking art but Akio is the physically strongest; Satoshi can still beat Akio any time any day

-In terms of fighting, Akio and Satoshi are the more aggressive fighters, but for different reasons; Akio is just the gung-ho, trigger happy type that dives in head first and Satoshi recognizes the circumstances where being on offense is the greater tactical action he could take; Yoshi and Rin are more evasive, Yoshi because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone and Rin because he’s skittish and always scared of being hurt, despite seeing holes in any enemy he faces; Yoshi is more likely to go on offense than Rin when he knows that the enemy is a villian but he can never bring himself to fight seriously with all his power against his classmates or friends, especially Kacchan; it’s not rare to see Rin go on offense, it’s just that he prefers to run because that’s who he is

-Akio is SUPER into fashion; cares a lot about his outward appearance and is the most muscular out of all of them because of it; his money never lasts when he goes out shopping; has ear piercings because why the hell not?

Actual Fic Outline

Act 1

-Izuku is a child, talks to “imaginary friends” that would be triggered by certain events or emotions; he would talk to “Hero” or whatever when he would watch All Might and when he sees animals or kids that need help or when he's sad (maybe Inko’s POV)

-Inko thinks Izuku’s short conversations with himself are kinda odd but she thinks its just something related to his quirk

-when they go to the doctor, the doctor tells them about his toe and that he won’t have a quirk at all

-Inko asks if his conversations with himself and imaginary friends were a sign of a quirk manifestation but doctor dismisses it as child’s imagination; their logic is that if Izuku did manifest a quirk  it would either be hers or her husband’s and the chance of Izuku manifesting something so radically different while having the vestigial toe joint are infinitesimal, practically impossible

-Inko takes his word for it but still thinks about Izuku talking to his “hero side” in front of the computer when she sees her son so heartbroken for being quirkless; she hears him say “we can do it” (all broken and dramatic)

-the sides begin as passing thoughts and sometimes make comments but since it is in Izuku’s head, it feels like he’s talking to himself but just a bit different but he can’t really tell the difference

-goes through childhood “quirkless”

-recall key events but with the “sides” included to show how natural it seems to Izuku and how easily it could be confused for the average thought process; helps an old man with his groceries when he’s like eight (Yoshi); snide comments of him being quirkless (include Akio and Rin); chasing to find the next hero fight and analyzing it (Satoshi) and Kacchan finds him and gets pissed off because he’s interested in becoming a hero (Rin and Akio); stuff like that

-Manifest physically in the beginning of the third year of middle school after Midoriya finally accepts that Kacchan is no longer his friend and thinks “I don’t want to be alone” and passes out for a moment because, seriously, he’s conjuring up at least four physical human beings with a quirk he’s never used before; on a Friday so he doesn’t have to worry about school for at least two days (or whatever day is the start of the weekend in Japan)

-They manifest, all of them have no idea what exactly happened but each have varying reactions

-all of them go home because they don’t know what to do and Inko has a mild freak out

-Have some trouble knowing which Izuku is the real one, even Izuku, but Logic immediately knows that he’s not Izuku and deduces which one of them is the real one by rationalizing that this is his quirk manifesting

-immediate first impressions are Logic is smart and rational, Hero is charismatic and exaggerated; won’t stop droning about how he wants to be a hero, Morality is sweet and kind, and Anxiety is dark and pessimistic

-Inko and Izuku have a teary moment and they all group hug and go to bed, all the Izuku’s are given camitas and stuff

-Next morning they’re all gone and Izuku freaks out just a bit and tries to summon them, with difficulty; starts crying because it doesn’t work until Inko helps him

-Inko and him work on discovering his abilities and stuff, along with Logic; discover that they have all of Izuku’s memories, even the ones when they’re outside of Izuku’s mind, but they only receive it when they are summoned back inside Izuku; they could see and feel what Izuku does but they have their own feelings and awareness; he could summon a specific side if he wants; they get hungry if they are physically manifested but they have no clue why?; if Izuku falls asleep with them still physical, he subconsciously calls them back

-Whenever Inko calls for Izuku, they all turn around

-Inko gives them all, except Anxiety, names to not get them confused ( Satoshi with characters meaning “wise and clever” for Logic,  Yoshi with kanji meaning “joyful” for Morality, Akio with the kanji “manly” for Hero); Anxiety gives himself the name Rin

-Goes to school and accidentally summons Satoshi when he was having trouble figuring out a math problem in class; Kacchan sees this shit and flips out the first time he sees Satoshi and Izuku being nervous and scared summoned Rin subconsciously

-Kacchan gets mad and starts being an ass and Izuku summons Akio subconsciously and Akio immediately fights with Kacchan; Rin suggests they leave Akio behind because it’s his decision to start fighting Kacchan while knowing what the guy is capable of but Izuku tells him that they aren’t leaving him; Rin or Izuku give Akio advice that helps Akio drop Kacchan, shocking everyone including Kacchan; leave while the Bakugou is stunned

-Izuku starts to doubt Rin’s reliability and trustworthiness because he suggested to leave Akio behind

-Izuku activates his quirk sometimes in class and gets made fun of, mostly summoning Rin when he gets really nervous or Satoshi when he’s having trouble with a math problem or something (“He’s like a preschooler!”)

-Appointment with a doctor to confirm his quirk and have it registered in the system; doctor flips out at the astronomical odds that Izuku faced to have his quirk

-Izuku starts noticing that Rin is developing bags under his eyes

-Inko takes them to get clothes after their doctor’s appointment because I want cute shit like that with name tags to help her out

-Meet Kacchan there and, while the moms catch up and stuff, Kacchan and Izuku and the sides have a confrontation; Akio immediately almost starts a fight, Yoshi tries to calm them down but Kacchan hurts his feelings and he cries, Rin just backs off, sulking and Satoshi gets them out of there, closer to the parents within hearing range; all are given nicknames by Kacchan ( “Useless” for Hero, “Smartass” for Logic, “Crybaby” for Morality and “Villian” for Anxiety) 

-leave all nice and color coded but kinda bummed; Inko has no clue what just went down but Izuku and Yoshi won’t let Satoshi or Rin tell her what happened

-back at school, classmates suddenly interested in Izuku now that he’s not “quirkless” and Izuku gains more control over his quirk accidents

-Izuku pals up with some dude Tomoe-kun that has metal fists and becomes friends after a few weeks.

-Tomoe has met all his sides and they’re all chill with him except for Rin because he doesn’t think he’s a real friend since he never talked to them before he knew he had a quirk and Tomue-kun never stood up to Kacchan before

-indicator of the tension between Rin and the rest of the sides as well as Izuku

-Some point when the rest are hanging out with Tomue, Inko brings Rin into the kitchen when she saw him fidgeting without Izuku’s phone and has him help with the dinner, having him cut the vegetables; takes him a while of deliberation while standing over the cutting board with a knife over vegetables, thinking of the hundred of ways the knife could kill him or chop his or his mom’s fingers off when she tells him to just do it and focus on what’s in front of him; once he gets going, he realizes how therapeutic cutting vegetables is; Inko tells him he’s great help; Rin wonders why he isn’t panicking while being surrounded by knives, fire and scalding water

-Izuku and Tomue work to find out more about Izuku’s quirk; if he can summon the sides to wherever he wants and if he can, how far or close can they be? (Maybe their default is in the same position as the Sanders sides? Definitely can only be summoned as far as six feet away) Hypothetical questions of if they can only summoned on the ground, how quick can Izuku summon them, etc.; when they combine back into Izuku’s body again, they gain Izuku’s memories but Izuku doesn’t gain theirs

-Some point during the testing, they figure out they’re facets of Izuku’s personality; maybe at a doctor’s visit by scanning his brain; when they aren’t physical, Izuku’s brain has parts buzzing with activity and they are inactive when Izuku has them all summoned; conclusion, the strange, active parts of the brain are the sides; they all just figure out which aspect each one of them is, which is easy at this point

-Yoshi and Rin have a heart to heart after Rin has a panic attack without Izuku’s phone while Inko was at work or something; finds out how butthurt Rin is that the others treat him the way they do; not directly said but it’s implied that Rin is afraid to get attached to them for reasons unknown right now ( “It’s fine. It makes this easier.”--Rin, 2k18)

-Yoshi begins to hang out more with Rin and his mom when Izuku, Akio and Satoshi hang out with Tomue; Yoshi gets Rin a Tamagotchi to use instead of Izuku’s phone for when he goes out

-All hanging out in the mall sometime after a testing session and Yoshi sees an ultra-cute lunch box with panda onigiri and octopus sausages and he loses it; discovery of Yoshi’s favorite food (not that important, just a wholesome little moment for later)

-when tension between Tomue and Rin during a practice session makes Izuku uncomfortable enough to force Rin to disappear during one of their tests

-Inko and Rin have a heart to heart after a tense, awkward dinner but nothing is resolved; conversation ends with Rin telling Inko that he knows that all the sides and Izuku don't like him, maybe not even she does and she just hugs him and tells him that she loves him but nothing else; she knows that what he said about Izuku is mostly true but she doesn't know how to help him

-(time skip?) months pass and Izuku and Tomue are still pals and Rin is still a pessimistic outcast in the group; Rin spends time with Inko mostly and Yoshi, isolating himself from Izuku and the others; Akio doesn’t understand why Yoshi likes Rin so much

-end of the year thing with burned notebook happens and the scrutiny of his ability to become a hero because his quirk isn’t flashy or powerful; “You might as well be quirkless” “Your uselessness just multiplied itself four times.”

-Satoshi shares the same sentiment and tells Izuku that they would help save more lives by being a scientist or engineer and they would be more financially stable because heroes with flashier quirks tend to make more and their quirk isn’t particularly flashy

-sludge villain happens, Tomue runs to get help, Izuku summons all the Sides subconsciously and Rin calls All Might when he sees him looking for the slime villain

-Izuku asks All Might if he could become a hero even though he’s not particularly powerful or experienced with his quirk; All Might says yes but with much training and education; All Might recognizes that Izuku is a one man team and tells him to build on all their teamwork; Izuku asks him of he could train him or something but All Might rushes off because he was about to return to his normal form

-Izuku starts looking for Tomue to tell him the news but Rin says “screw him, he left us” because All Might was literally wandering around in the direction that Tomue went and he still didn’t focus on getting help instead of running away but everyone is against Rin for ruining the good vibes they all had

-Rin stalks off and Yoshi goes after him; Izuku and the rest find Tomue in the clutches of the sludge villain, save him when Rin and Yoshi come back (they had a “gut feeling”) and All Might talks to Izuku again, scolding him for being reckless but agreeing to draw him up a fitness regimen to help him strengthen up, inspired by the Sides teamwork and strategy; he tells them to get enrolled in cheerleading (For lols but it actually helps establish trust and build agility) and Izuku and Akio are mortified about it but won’t reject any advice from their idol

-begin training with Tomue, but he tends to flake; during the months they discover that they all will continuously match Izuku’s image and body because Rin doesn't do the training but he’s still growing the muscles like Izuku and the rest but he doesn't have the hand to hand combat skills they're building

-Izuku tells Tomue about cheerleading and Tomue tells him there’s not a chance he’s joining with him

-Izuku joins the community cheerleading group with adults who already graduated high school and they help him out; makes friends with them and they all love Yoshi; meets small time retired hero who attends to keep in shape and stay active (grew up in a circus in a family of trapeze artists); helps him with combat moves and techniques as well as acrobatics since he’s a total noob; combat lessons for free!

-Izuku and Akio are the most enthusiastic fighters and spar in their spare time; Satoshi is the best fighter out of all of them and this pisses off Akio to no end

-Yoshi is trying to integrate Rin with the rest of the group (begs him to go with them to the cheer practice and combat sessions with the veteran hero and Rin actually gets along with the veteran hero), telling the others that they’re being unfair but they don’t particularly care or make an effort to connect with Rin because Rin isn’t trying either

-Small scene at home where Yoshi used some leftover rice from dinner to try to make onigiri and Rin watches painfully from the sidelines; everyone else is busy getting ready for bed or studying so Rin decides to cut in before anything gets worse and asks what the hell Yoshi is trying to do; Yoshi tells him he wants to make the cute “Kawaii” panda onigiri he had in that one bento box they got at the mall that one time because it was “amazing” and “adorable” but he’s failing miserably; Rin looks at the messed up seaweed and rice balls and sighs, quickly cutting little designs and magically making one, blowing Yoshi’s mind into another dimension (“Like this?” Yoshi looks at the little panda and his jaw drops, eyes sparkling in adoration and disbelief as they look at him in wonder.); soon, Yoshi starts mysteriously ending up with cute bento box lunches; Rin makes him swear to take this information to his grave

-During a cheerleading session, the retired hero tells Izuku that he has to bond with his Sides more and grow the trust they have in each other because they don’t have enough to become an effective team (regarding Rin and the frequently bickering Sides); tells him trust is a two way street and that trust is not something that is given freely (Rin’s perceived lack of trust in Izuku and Izuku in him); tells them they have to connect on a deeper level *wink, wink* foreshadowing *wink, wink*

-Tomue and Izuku plan on taking the UA test together and do but Tomue ditches Izuku to get points and Izuku only managed to get one five pointer and one ten pointer because Satoshi and Rin are arguing over the chances of winning with Satoshi’s strategy (some ways he defeats them is having them chase two of the Sides and have the run toward each other and make them disappear before they crash, making the robots crash; Satoshi recognizes a mechanism in one of the hinge joints of the robots and Rin helps him discover a weakness to exploit and render it useless; stupid stuff like that)

-the zero pointer comes; Izuku and Yoshi immediately run to help Uraraka and Satoshi pulls them back to make a plan where he and Rin distract the zero pointer and Akio, Yoshi and Izuku free Uraraka and once they get them to a safe distance, Izuku summons them back and he, Yoshi, Akio and Uraraka go hide and the timer runs out

-Izuku is devastated because he “knows” he failed; Akio tries to cheer him up by telling him that they could just take the general studies course and participate in the sports festival or go to another school and study in their hero department and Satoshi tells him that now he could focus on science rather than heroism and Izuku shuts them out for a while

-Tomue tries to comfort him and tells him he’ll tell him all about the school because he’s confident he at least passed

-Izuko gets his acceptance and tells his mom, summons his Sides (apologizes for shutting them out for days) and they all go to tell Tomue, except for Rin who’s still salty

-Izuku and the rest get to Tomue’s house and turns out Tomue didn’t get in and he’s a wreck; says “let’s grieve together”, assuming that Izuku didn’t get in either but Izuku tells him that he got in

-Tomue gets mad that Izuku did even though he scored way more kill points than he did and his quirk is way better and more “heroic”; Izuku asks him if that’s what he’s always thought and Tomue says yes but that he’d planned to make Izuku and his Sides his sidekicks so that they could be an entire combat squad of only two people; Izuku is hurt and so is Yoshi and Akio but Akio gets mad rather than showing his hurt so openly; Satoshi gets them all to leave before all hell breaks loose between Akio and Tomue; Yoshi is crying

-Izuku comes to the realization that they’ve ignored Rin more than this once regarding his opinion about things when he was right; Tomue isn’t a friend

-return home and Izuku apologizes to Rin, telling him he was right about Tomue and that he will make an effort to make Rin know that he is heard; Rin tries to be all nonchalant but from this point, their attitudes towards him is different, more respected but still tense

-celebrate his acceptance that night and they all get along and feel connected for once

-When Izuku and the rest are registering their quirk, they agree that they are sides of Izuku, so they call their quirk “Sides”

Act 2

-high school starts and the canon events happened except that he got help with the long jump and grip strength so he didn't get last place in every one, only got last place in about five or six (don’t focus so much on it; kinda just skim over it)

-Lunch time with his sides; Izuku is not a star student or particularly outstanding at first like in the manga or anime but he still trains hard and strategizes with Satoshi even though Satoshi tries to convince him to become a scientist instead every other minute; Ochako is introduced to all the sides at this time and he explains his quirk to her; wish each other luck with their hero careers; Akio has obvious crush on her and is, unfortunately, confident enough to flirt with her, but they go way over her head

-Emphasize the struggle to keep up in the quirk exercises; Kacchan is relentless with his teasing because of his non-flashy quirk; Ochako backs Izuku up when Akio gets ready to square up; Kacchan almost loses it when Yoshi tells Akio not to fight with “friends” and Kacchan tells him he’s not his friend; Aizawa breaks up whatever would’ve happened, making the sides disappear and erasing Kacchan’s quirk

-gets recognized for his strategy skills (mostly Satoshi and Rin) and combat skills (mostly Akio and Izuku) in the hero vs. villain weapon test

-teamwork between Rin and Akio is incredibly sloppy but they get the job done of distracting Kacchan with Izuku while Yoshi, Satoshi and Uraraka get the weapon

-Izuku has all the sides out and teams up with Rin and Akio to distract Kacchan while Ochako, Yoshi and Satoshi go after the weapon with Iida

-Rin and Akio begin to fight over how to handle Kacchan since Rin wants to keep his distance with him and be evasive while Akio wants to take him on hand to hand; Akio is less forgiving of Kacchan and would like some physical revenge

-Satoshi has a plan with Yoshi and Satoshi both engaging Iida in combat while Ochako stealths her way to the weapon but Iida makes sure to stay close

-Yoshi pulls his punches with Iida and Satoshi reprimands him for being too forgiving (“If this was a real battle, you would be risking your life and everyone else’s!”); Yoshi blocks a quick kick that would’ve hit Satoshi cause he was distracted

-Get Iida just far away enough for Ochako to get to the weapon

-test revealed the obvious tension between Akio and Rin and the hypothetical liability of having Yoshi on the field because he didn't want to hurt anyone and would pull his punches with Iida

-Izuku notices that Rin could dodge and would warn them of punches and attacks that Kacchan hadn’t thrown yet before even Izuku could process them and protected any weak spots in their stances that he could, warning them of their open spots and reminding them of the basic defensive stances; first signs of Rin’s keen ability to sense and find weakness in the group and in an enemy that is hyper focused when he is not in Izuku’s mind

-All Might gives Midoriya a pep talk; Izuku shares the progress he made with his quirk and the technique he's working on

-All Might compliments his hero suit; it is, unfortunately, still the same as the anime (not a big fan of the bunny ears, sorry)

-after this Akio decided that instead of wearing normal clothes, he will be wearing his hero suit at all times because “you never know when a villian attack could happen”

-Izuku is working on a technique where he summons them at different heights and certain distances so they could grab hands and propel him further towards where he wants; kinda weird to explain: it would be very quick and they would need to manifest nanoseconds at a time for it

-Can never get it quite right because they’re still off and not in harmony; end up bickering by the end of it

-Izuku tries to get Rin and Akio to hang out together alone and get on friendlier terms but they just end up fighting and insulting each other and stop when Yoshi just begs for them to get along (they’re both kinda suckers for Yoshi but Rin will never admit it); it usually starts with Akio saying something insensitive or Rin joking in a way that insults Akio and he takes it personally

-Izuku and the sides are hanging out in the dorm living room with Ochako and Iida; Akio pesters Satoshi while he’s studying and asks him how he’s on such good terms with Rin and how to get along with him; Satoshi simply tells him that he and Rin are amiable and have common interests in terms of strategy, though Rin usually focuses on the potential failure rate of each strategy; Akio tries to see if he and Rin have common interests

-Akio notices Satoshi is squinting his eyes and they realize that Satoshi needs glasses now, since he’s strained his eyes by reading articles on the computers and read books late at night, in bad lighting for close to a year and a half; Momo makes him some glasses in class during break when Yoshi reprimands Satoshi for straining his eyes while reading an article without glasses and asks for the prescription that they took at the last doctor’s visit; Satoshi just tells her because he memorized all the words in the prescription paper he was given

-Izuku is elected class rep because of Satoshi’s analytical mind and Akio’s charisma but Izuku thinks about how he could barely get all his sides to get along and doubts his ability to be class rep even though Akio and Yoshi are all for it at lunch with Ochako and Iida

-Ochako asks Yoshi where he got his super cute bento lunch and Rin gives Yoshi a death glare, making him stutter and change the subject

-Akio tries desperately to find common ground with Rin about food but Rin finds it weird and uncomfortable; unintentionally insults the bento box that Yoshi has that Akio doesn’t know Rin made

-media incident starts and in the panic, Yoshi and Satoshi are separated from Izuku, Rin and Akio; Akio suggests a reckless idea to Izuku to try to get everyone’s attention and then Rin tells him it’s stupid and dangerous, whatever it was; Akio tells him that this is why they don’t get along and they start to fight and yell at each other while Izuku tries to calm them down

-Iida intervenes and Izuku hands off the class representative to him, knowing that he can’t lead if he can’t even get his sides to get along

-Izuku realizes that, for the most part, he has no idea how to work with his sides and doubts his abilities to lead them

-has heart to heart with his sides that brings all the issues between them to light; Satoshi tries to deter him from being a hero and Akio and Yoshi strongly disagree; Rin still feels like an outsider and doesn’t think it will change anytime soon (doesn’t think he wants it to change); Izuku tries to tell him he accepts him and cares about him but Rin won't let himself feel; kinda bittersweet while they go to bed

-USJ incident occurs and he, Asui and Mineta escape by having Satoshi hot wire the boat (discover that Satoshi is basically the library of all of Izuku’s knowledge even if he himself forgot it or just glossed over it) and have Akio spin it around with Mineta’s sticky balls in the water, getting some villains stuck on the boat, to each other or their hands together, unable to use their quirk while Asui got them out with her tongue and Izuku summons the sides back to fight off just a few escaped villains

-Yoshi jumps in the way of Tomura’s hand when he reaches for Asui, gets disintegrated: brief moment before contact where Izuku was instinctively gonna call back Yoshi but he hears Yoshi tell him not to in his head; Izuku and Akio have a mild meltdown and, despite Satoshi and Rin’s warnings, attempts to punch Tomura but Nomu gets in the way, breaks Akio’s arm and almost kills Izuku before pros show up

-Akio is taken to Recovery Girl and Izuku, Rin and Satoshi are with Principal Nedzu, talking about their loss and a grace period for grieving and their ability to go home

-meet Akio outside nurse’s office and see through his nonchalant, victorious act

-are outside the school late at sunset and they see All Might; he tells him not to give up, that they need heroes like him and Yoshi, true heroes and then he walks away (foreshadow All Might’s decision to choose Izuku as next One For All?)

-Akio breaks down on his knees and Rin tries to calm him but all of them are shedding varying degrees of tears; Rin breaks down, too

-Rin reveals that he’s made effort to prevent himself being attached to them because they want to be heroes and people fucking die doing this shit (dun dun dun! Big emotional reveal! Wow!); (“Dammit, why does it still hurt?!”); guilty because Yoshi probably died not knowing how important he really was to Rin

-Izuku has a flashback of the first time he ever saved something; a bird that fell out of its nest; birth of Yoshi, his “morality”; goes over every interaction he had with Yoshi in his life in a split second and he discovers that Yoshi was Hero from when he was little, not Akio, like they all thought

-they hear Yoshi in their head; Izuku tries to summon Yoshi and it works; happy reunion, tears everywhere: Yoshi legit thought he was dead (comic relief, sorta)

-discovery that Yoshi is the true hero in Izuku, the one that wants to save lives and make the world better, as opposed to Aiko who likes the thrill, action and glory; He’s just the brave one with the dream

-Akio has an interesting reaction to the news that Yoshi is the Hero in Izuku and not him; he doesn’t know how to react to that

-a new thing about his quirk has been discovered; you can't kill a side without killing Izuku (total cop-out but I hope it’s still emotional and doesn’t ruin the story)

-they go home, something in their relationship different than before; discovery of Rin’s ability to care and his confession of being afraid to care; Yoshi's connection with everyone; they all admit they care about each other, even Akio to Rin but there's still issues to sort out there

-Izuku discover the next morning that he could hear Yoshi in his head when he's not physically manifested

-the psychic manifestation of their quirk is developing; questions about why he can't talk to the others in his head arise

Act 3

-They’re leaving Recovery Girl’s office the day of Sports Festival Announcement, Izuku, Akio and Yoshi get hella pumped now that Akio can fight again while Satoshi struggles to understand why they’re so excited for the event; says so during lunch (fun fact: they each have a different favorite food)

-Ochako asks Yoshi where he got his adorable as hell bento box again; Rin gives him the death glare; Izuku and Akio notice that it’s the second time he does this but brush it off

-Izuku and Akio mention how they hope to get first place and that they’ll need to practice their movesets to get better and stand a chance; Satoshi makes it clear that he doesn’t think they’ll get in the one on one rounds

-Izuku and Satoshi get in an argument at lunch; Izuku just wants support from Satoshi for once and wants to make his chances of being a good hero higher; winning first in the sports festival will get him recognized

-Izuku knows that he isn’t anyone special or significant like he is in the show and he’s hoping this will change that

-Satoshi tells him that he doesn’t understand why he wants to become a hero in the first place; “You can save just as much, even more lives, by becoming an engineer or doctor than becoming something as presumptuous as those self-proclaimed heroes you idolize so much.”

-Izuku and Satoshi are no longer on speaking terms in the two weeks of training for the festival

-Izuku decides that he will win the sports festival with or without him

-Day of festival comes and Izuku wins the race in first like the anime and fares maybe a bit better in the cavalry battle; only Akio and Rin helping out, but they butt heads a lot

-Satoshi is watching within the depths of Izuku’s consciousness; watches him struggle throughout the cavalry battle and race but doesn’t help out of spite; slowly and slowly becoming more aware and more self-thinking within Izuku as he watches him struggle through Hitoshi’s battle; snaps when he sees Izuku barely able to dodge some of Todoroki’s first shots when he tried to end the battle with the massive ice blast; Satoshi is awakened and suddenly aware of himself in Izuku’s mind

-(Flashback to Satoshi’s birth) first inkling of Logic was born during the creation of the first hero notebook, finally fully realized in the first notebook where Izuku actually began breaking down certain tactics instead of just writing them down and going through alternative strategies and criticisms; the infamous “muttering”

-Satoshi begins speaking to Izuku in his mind and gives him a strategy to have Todoroki exhaust his ice power by dodging the blasts with some help from precisely-timed appearances from the other Sides to propel him in certain directions at a certain timing but the Side that propels him has to be hit by the blast, since they haven’t mastered the half-second, quick version of it; at a certain point, Satoshi stops directly talking to Izuku because, since they’re psychically connected now, Satoshi just thinks it and Izuku and the rest just know what he’s trying to tell him; they bring him to close quarters in hand to hand with Todoroki but Todoroki gets desperate and uses his flames to blast him away, which Satoshi warned Izuku was a possibility and that they should be prepared to lose if that happened; this completes the link between Satoshi and the rest; Izuku gets gets the place that he got in the anime

-Todoroki hates Izuku for making him desperate enough to use his fire; Izuku never got to Todoroki about it being his power, not his father’s

-after matches, Satoshi tells Izuku to speak to him physically; Satoshi tells him that he doesn’t understand him and his recklessness, his need to become a hero; he tells him that he doesn’t understand but that he will help him become the greatest hero he can be

-Brushes off the emotions as best as he could

-Few weeks, Izuku’s recognized as the one in the second to last round and being so resourceful with a non flashy quirk; Akio is relishing it

-small note about the Sides healing along with Izuku because they got pretty fucked up by Todoroki

-Some domestic scenes of training and teamwork; more smooth with Satoshi and Yoshi because of the completed link; can do the split second propelling technique they’ve been developing with those two; Rin and Akio are still on the outside

-Yoshi gets scraped pretty bad when Akio and Rin fail to catch Yoshi during training because of their incompatibility and Akio feels guilty; finds Rin in the kitchen that night while Izuku is studying with Satoshi; finds out Rin is the one that makes Yoshi’s bento boxes and Rin has him swear that he won’t tell any of the others he does this; Akio asks him why he’s doing it tonight since he doesn’t always do it and Rin admits that he feels bad for letting Yoshi fall earlier; Akio says he’ll keep his secret, but offers to help with the stove work because Rin looks uncomfortable around the stove while he is frying the octopus sausages; Rin decorates extra cute since he feels bad for Yoshi getting hurt

-small bonding moment where Akio realizes he knows how to cook because, while the others were partying it up with Tomue, Rin was hanging out with his mom, helping make lunch and dinner (thinks about one time when Akio complimented his mom on a bowl of beef teriyaki that he loved and his mom was gonna tell him something that sounded like she was saying that she didn’t make it but Rin cut her off, eyes pleading her to not say anything; no one notices the small blush when Akio goes on and on about how good the teriyaki bowl is); begs Rin to make him some more beef teriyaki and Rin shoves him away, saying that the bonding moment is over but after this point, they’re on more friendly terms

-Day of internship picking starts and Izuku chooses to apply for a clone hero but is surprised when All Might chooses him as an intern

-Akio, Yoshi and Izuku fanboy the fuck out and Rin and Satoshi are all like “this has to be a mistake” but for different reasons; Rin thinks All Might would never intentionally choose them because nobody would want to choose them as an intern; Satoshi just thinks it was a mistake with paperwork

-find out it isn’t a joke when All Might goes to them during lunch and talks to them personally about his life and why he wants to be a hero

-Izuku tells him his answer and how Yoshi is kinda Izuku’s heroic soul personified; Akio’s still butthurt by this but doesn’t deny it because he knows it’s true

-Lunch ends and Ochako and Iida pester him about the meeting; Izuku tells them what they talked about

-Day of internships begin and All Might takes them out on a three hour patrol before going out to eat with them; tells them he just wants to get to know them and no villain attacks happened so he doesn’t need to waste much energy

-All Might brings them to his apartment after dinner; Izuku and Yoshi are taking in his apartment as avid fans would and Akio is still gushing over him while Rin and Satoshi just chill out; Rin’s using the Tamagotchi

-All Might orders out and they have dinner; Rin criticizes the rice balls they got and Satoshi makes the smart remark of “I’d like to see you attempt to make some.”; Akio sends Rin a knowing smirk and Rin glares at him

-All Might calls the night off short because he could feel himself losing the energy to keep his form; sort of startles Izuku, but they accept it and go to bed

-Next day they wake up early and find that All Might is still in his room, but his door is locked; Rin finds it suspicious, Satoshi just mildly so, but ultimately sides with Izuku, Yoshi and Akio when they say he just likes his privacy and he’s a hero so there might be some attempts on his life

-Out of money and out of options, Akio settles for volunteering to make omelettes, since he’s seen Rin make some and thought “why the hell not?” and fails horribly; Rin decides to let the group know that he likes to cook and he can cook well when he sees Akio try to make omelettes the second time and cuts in before things can get too bad; ties his hair back with a black handkerchief that he keeps in his pocket for “fashionable purposes”

-All Might gets out of the room around eleven and sees them all eating breakfast, talking pretty easily in his dining room; tells them he expected them to be asleep still, but this will be revealed later to be a lie since he heard them up and changed into his All Might form; compliments Rin on his cooking and Rin blushes cause he deep, deep, deeep down inside, he’s still an All Might fan and All Might just complimented his cooking; Izuku and Akio see this and get weirded out (“I didn’t know Rin was capable of being flustered.”)

-All Might tells them the plan for the day: visit some kids at a children’s hospital and then go on patrol around a certain, defined section of the city then have lunch, then patrol the second part of the city; tells Izuku he might have to take frequent bathroom breaks because he hasn’t been feeling well these past few days; end of the day, he’s going to be cleaning the beach that he cleans in the anime and tells him his goal is to clear the horizon before the week of the internship ends

-Akio asks him why they’re spending time with kids and cleaning up a beach after only spending two or three hours patrolling; All Might tells him that to be a hero, you don’t need to fight villains, you need to do what’s right and good for the world

-Satoshi asks for some clarity on the symptoms he’s experiencing and lists off several illnesses it can be but All Might brushes it off shakily

-This system, somehow, succeeds for the first few days; All Might assessed Izuku’s behavior with the children, even Rin’s, who’s been cordial; saw him help out with a few elderly looking for help with carrying things; watches the boys working together during the beach clean up and notices that Rin and Akio seem to get along better, still bicker though; takes a lot of bathroom breaks

-End of the day, All Might calls it a night at the beach and head to the apartment but then the Hosu attack happens

-All Might goes and tells Izuku to stay put but Izuku decides to head on there anyway on a bike, since the city they’re in is close to Hosu; calls all the Sides to himself

-While on his way to the fight, Izuku passes the alley with Iida and Stain; interferes immediately when he sees Iida pinned and sends location to Todoroki like in the anime; Todoroki shows up but he doesn’t consider Izuku a friend in this world

-Yoshi and Satoshi take Native and Iida out of the scene while Todoroki, Akio, Izuku and Rin stay and Satoshi feeds Izuku possible strategies in their heads; Midoriya gets paralyzed and Satoshi is left to work with Rin and Akio

-Todoroki gets paralyzed and Rin and Akio are left; Hero Killer deems Akio a fake hero because he just wants the title, making Akio have a small crisis ( “Even you’re more of a hero than I am” Akio to Rin) have to settle differences and work together during the Rin/Akio teamwork, it becomes something close to yin and yang; defense and offense; Rin defends, Akio attacks

-Remembers birth of “Hero” and “Anxiety”; remembers that they were born at the same time; Akio was born the time that Izuku stood up to Kacchan; Rin manifested that same moment, which is the first time he was really afraid of Kacchan; all his doubt and fear and inferiority almost made him not stand up to Kacchan but Hero hyped him up and made him brave enough to stand up to him; was scared to stand up to him but he did; Akio and Rin were wrestling for dominance in that instance when he was crying and shaking but still standing strong

-they link with Midoriya at the same time when he’s able to move again; bond between all of them is complete and they all sense it

-Rin, Akio and Izuku work in perfect harmony (do the split second summoning technique with Izuku and each other), knowing what each of them are thinking; Yoshi and Satoshi can see what’s going on and help in their place protecting Iida and Native far away; Yoshi helps Iida with his crisis, gets him moving; Satoshi tells the rest he’s messaged All Might about the situation and he should be there soon if he sees it, though he could be busy with whatever disaster is happening further away (keep in mind here, Izuku didn’t see the Nomus)

-All Might comes in later while Akio is incapacitated and Rin, Izuku, and Todoroki are keeping him at bay; cuts the fight short when Stain tries to jump him

-Restrain Stain with the rope and All Might reprimands the students for doing something so reckless and dangerous; other heroes show up; All Might is staring at Izuku the whole time and he can feel his gaze

-Tell them about the fabricated story and to not tell others about that night; goes back to the apartment with All Might and it’s all quiet since Izuku brought the Sides back to himself

-All Might starts to steam up and Izuku starts freaking out but Toshinori tells him to ignore it and explains his quirk and why it’s so powerful and reveals his true form by the time he’s done with his explanation; has Izuku sit down with him and he tells him that Izuku is a true hero and that he’s what the world needs; he won’t be there for very long and One for All needs to be passed on to a worthy predecessor; tells Izuku he wants to pass his power onto him

-Izuku short-circuits and passes out

End of this story because I’m a sucker for cliffhangers. Figures that my first post would be the longest thing ever.

[phan-of-the-pen]

I Dare To Stay: Chapter 20

we made it to 20 boys!! this one isn’t as sad, but it’s very bittersweet

Tags for chapter: angst, brief mentions of depression/mental health issues, minor fluff (it gets better at the end), lots of cursing, so many f bombs

Words for chapter: ~3 k

Fic Summary: Dan Howell is a barista working a shitty job, frequenting his shitty apartment, and living a shitty existence, hiding his asexuality and going for a PHD in self-depreciation and depression. Phil Lester is a part-time intern, part-time employee at a local weather station, trying to get experience in his field and make a name for himself, while juggling a second job at the nearby Tesco’s to give him some financial breathing room. Their paths were never supposed to meet, but what happens when they do anyways, one rainy day in Manchester?

(ao3!)

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~~~~~~~~~~

Dan doesn't see Phil the first day he gets back from London.

In fact, Dan doesn't see Phil until the third day he's back in Manchester.

As damning as it might sound, not all of the blame was on Phil, but it was mostly all on Dan. Dan had taken three days to destruct during the week that Phil had been away, and all 72 hours were pure hell. And after Dan managed to pull himself from his sheets enough to try and be a person, Dan threw himself into his work. When he needed some sort of explanation for his behavior, he had used the flimsy excuse of needing to make up for the three work shifts he missed.

They had both asked after him during those three days where he disappeared with no explanation, and when Dan only returned horribly drawn into himself and not acting normal, they had grown even more concerned. Dan couldn't remember when he had last received so many texts in such a short time.

When Phil had initially gotten back it was late at night, and even though Dan had been awake when Phil had texted him, he hadn't responded. The next day Phil had called him, telling Dan that he had a loonngg shift at the weather station. However, he still wanted to try and see Dan because it had been ages since they had last had some down time together.

Dan had nearly bitten his tongue off to keep himself from dropping a damaging, smartass comment about how little he had seen of his boyfriend and that spending this much time apart was basically normal.

He knew that Phil was trying. He didn't deserve something like that.

It was Dan, however, to shut down the possibility of them meeting that day. Dan still wasn't feeling normal, and he knew that he looked like a hot, depressed mess. He not only didn't want Phil to see him like this, but he also didn't want to have to try and pretend. Dan knew that if they saw each other their time would be extremely limited between both of their work schedules that day, and Dan was well aware of how not okay he was. If he saw Phil he would act even less normal because of all of the reasons why Dan was hurting inside, and they didn't have the time right now to try and work through it all.

So even though it cut something inside of him to hear the fall of Phil's voice at Dan's rejection, Dan stood by his decision.

That shift seemed extra long, and it wasn't because Dan was working a double.

The next day Dan gave Phil a similar reason. The third one—the day they finally saw each other—was only the fateful day because Phil had shown up to Dan's door. Dan had opened it, not really knowing who would be behind the door, but he had been puzzled to find Phil standing there. He was a bit disheveled and his eyebrows drawn together in concern; the lines those eyebrows made only grew deeper the moment that Phil saw Dan.

When he saw Phil, a part of Dan that he wasn't proud of wanted to find any excuse he could to run or hide because he didn't feel anywhere close to being able to handle this. Instead, he only opened the door wide enough for Phil to pass through, and led him into the lounge where they stood, five feet apart physically and even more in every other way that mattered.

Dan resisted the urge to squirm as Phil raked his eyes over Dan's frame. Dan had no doubts that he noticed the rumpled clothes, messy hair, his slightly thinner frame from not properly eating, and the deep eye bags from a lack of sleep.

"Dan…" Phil breathed, like it was the only word he could manage.

"I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"Pulling away from you when you got back. I know I shouldn't have shut you out like that, and I know you wanted to see me. I wanted to see you too, but just…"

"Just?" Phil asked after Dan trailed off and didn't continue his sentence.

"...not like this."

Phil's face softened, and he took a few steps forward to close the physical distance between them. He took Dan's hand into his after a moment.

"Dan, there won't ever be a time when I don't want to see you. And when you're in a bad place I only want to be here more to help you."

Dan looked down.

You say this now. You don't know how bad it gets.

"This has to do with you going M.I.A. last week, doesn't it? Dan," Phil said, his voice soft as can be, "what happened to you while I was gone? I want to help, but...but you need to let me in."

Two sides in a bitter war rapidly formed in Dan's head. One was melting at Phil's words and swelling with the notion that Phil cared about him this much. The other was taking advantage of Dan's post-depressive-episode emotional state and rising with a terrible anger at Phil trying to talk about letting people in. Dan wasn't proud at how fast that darker side of him took over.

"You can't really talk about letting people in when all you've been doing for the past month is shutting me out." Dan bit back before he could even try and control his words. His hand slipped out of Phil's, and the part of Dan that didn't want to get angry screamed that this was going to manifest into one of Dan's many regrets if Dan kept acting like an asshole.

Phil looked confused for half of a second, but his expression immediately became guilty.

"Dan, I know we haven't been spending a lot of time together lately, but it's just been work stuff, and I-"

"Oh, like how over a month ago whatever the hell you had on your phone was only a change in schedule? Yeah, no offense but I'm calling bullshit."

Dan had no idea where he was getting the anger or the energy for this. He had been so, so drained this whole week, and now his body decided to kick into high gear?

Phil's eyebrows crinkled once again, but this wasn't him being concerned. This was him stifling his anger. For some reason, that only made Dan madder.

"What are you talking about?"

Dan laughed. "What am I talking about? Do you remember that movie night we had, and I took care of our trash. When I came back in you were on your phone, reading something, but you were so upset. You looked like you were going to throw your phone—and I'm sorry I was concerned about you—but I asked you what was up, and you lied to me."

Phil huffed, and Dan watched agitation blossom in his eyes.

"What, should I come to you whenever I get any notification now? Dan, that's like, three red flags of what should not be in a relationship."

Dan ran his hands through his hair, groaning.

"No, I don't care what the hell you get on your phone. What I care about is that you fucking lied to my fucking face! That's the kind of shit my parents pulled all the damn time, and fuck, I can't stand when people fucking lie to me!"

"Is this why you look like you've been through the war? Have you been upset about this this whole time? I mean, Dan, I never meant-"

Dan knew that this anger was his hyperactive depression taking the wheel and trying it's hardest to fuck up anything good in his life, but he felt powerless to stop it. He was spitting out words faster than his brain could try and regulate them.

"Uh, yeah, I've been sitting here for the past month trying to figure out why the hell my boyfriend lied to me and feels that he can't fucking trust me, but if you think that it's the only reason that I look like fucking shit then you are sorely wrong." Dan took a step forward, some sort of dam inside of him having been smashed to smithereens. "I spent the the first two weeks of this year wondering why you were only pulling further and further away from me. I barely saw you, and when I did, it was for such a little amount of time. You dropped everything once your phone rang, but you didn't even bother to answer half of my texts."

Dan turned away and started to pace. He needed a way to get rid of all of this sudden energy that he had.

"I spent the whole week before you left slipping into depression, and slowly getting stuck inside my head." "You could have told me, I-"

"Don't even try and put this on me because you also could have done a lot too. And can you really blame me for thinking that you didn't want me to bother you? It's not like you seemed like you wanted anything to do with me."

Phil recoiled like he had been physically hit with Dan's words.

"And when you left, god, it was just in time for me to fall apart completely. I spent three fucking days in bed thinking about how lonely I am and how the only two people in this world that I care about are moving on without me and how I'm going to end up alone. And Phil that's not your fault, but the reason why I look like I've been through the war is because I fucking have been. You don't get to try and berate me for pushing you out when that's all you've been doing to me for the past fucking month."

Dan took a breath, clenching his fists and blew out the air in his lungs shakily.

God, I really need to calm the fuck down…

A minute passed in complete silence while Dan gathered himself and tried to dampen the flames of anger inside of him.

When he started talking again, his voice was at a normal volume.

"I've been hurting so bad. I know I could have told you, but you also could have noticed. I'm upset that you lied to me. I'm upset that you shut me out and flat out ignored me at times. I'm upset that you didn't feel like you could trust me. I know I should have told you sooner, but I didn't want to spoil the holidays, and then you slipped away from me so quickly. I haven't exactly had the chance, and I'm sorry I let it blow up to this. I'm really sorry I just like, screamed at you, but fuck, it felt good to let it all out."

Dan slumped against his couch. The anger that had engulfed him had been sudden and complete, and it was gone as fast as it had arrived.

It was quiet for a moment...five...ten…

"The station isn't getting enough views anymore, and they can't keep losing money. The owners are dissolving the company to cut their losses, and the last broadcast is at the end of the month. I knew the owners really well so they've endorsed me to a few other stations, but none of them would be based around here, and I'd have to move." Phil said, quietly, his gaze on his feet. "I've been trying all of the other local weather stations to try and get a job, but none of them are hiring, even after calling in some favors and dropping a few names. I didn't want to tell you until I knew what I was doing."

Dan's jaw dropped at the words, horror seeping into his bones.

"I…" Dan trailed off, not even knowing where to start. The attention to his phone, the never-ending phone calls, the constant long hours and appointments, they all fell into place and made much more sense than any half-baked explanation Dan had tried to come up with.

And god did Dan feel guilty. Phil had been dealing with all of this for so long, and he had undoubtedly been anxious and stressed over it, and what had Dan done? He had gotten worked up over the fact that he was missing a bit of attention, let it fuck with his head, and he had just fucking exploded at Phil for no good reason.

"I'm so fucking sorry," Dan breathed, and his voice sounded guilty, tight, and overwhelmed, "I didn't know, and I shouldn't have-"

"Exactly, Dan, that's exactly my point." Phil interrupted, tangling his fingers through Dan's. "I didn't tell you because I was scared and selfish and I didn't want to admit that something like this was happening. I didn't think about how this would affect you, and now that my head isn't up my own arse I'm sorry that I put you through that. I'm sorry I lied to you, and I'm sorry I kept pulling away from you." Phil laughed a little. "I was so worried about protecting you from the stress I was going through that I didn't even see how my actions were affecting you."

They both fell quiet, and that silent moment with nothing but Phil's thumb rolling over Dan's knuckles was exactly what Dan needed to collect himself.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I know I already said that, but even if you were a bit of a jerk you didn't deserve it."

"I kind of did."

"No, you really didn't. Normally I'm better at handling things like that, but I guess I'm worn pretty thin to the bone right now. It's no excuse, but…"

Phil squeezed his hand.

"It's alright. I promise I won't ever try and keep something like this from you. I learned my lesson, trust me."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"If the station is going under, why did they send you to that old guy? I would have thought that they would try and keep all the money they could."

"Normally, yeah. The owners and I know each other really well though. They're friends of my parents and I grew up around them. When it was clear that the station wasn't going to survive, they wanted to give me all they could for me to make it somewhere else as a meteorologist. So they convinced their old colleague to mentor me for a week."

Dan hummed in response, thinking. There was one other question he wanted to ask, but he was afraid of the answer.

He decided to ask it anyways.

Being afraid had been what had gotten them into this mess in the first place.

"Have you decided where you want to go yet?"

Phil sighed, his shoulders sagging under an invisible weight.

"No. The few places I was recommended to are too far for me to commute to, like I said, and I tried every local station I could."

"So what are you thinking of doing?"

Phil bit his lip.

"Nothing I guess. Keep trying, maybe hope that a local station gets an opening, but other than that...I don't think I can really do that much."

"Wait a minute, Phil, you're just giving up? You can't do that, meteorology is your dream! You have a freaking degree in it, you've worked so hard to get where you are, and you're just going to throw it out the window?"

"Don't you think I know that? I just…" Phil squeezed Dan's hand, and Dan's eye widened as he caught all of the words Phil was trying to convey to him without speaking.

"Phil, you can't give up on your dream just because of me."

"I wouldn't say I'm giving up on it, more like...pressing pause?"

"Phil."

"Okay, fine, you caught me, I'm not pursuing any of the other stations in the cities because I'd have to move away from you, and I don't think I could do that."

Dan pulled Phil down with him onto the couch. They instinctively curled around each other, each of their bodies bending in the direction of the other.

"You can't sacrifice your career for me. I won't let you."

Phil only continued to play with Dan's hand in his, not quite ignoring Dan's gaze, but not meeting it either.

"Phil."

He looked up, and Dan tried to smile to reassure him.

"Listen, if you want to pursue your dream of being a top meteorologist, then I'll stand by you, even if that means that you have to move across the country. You're special to me, Philip Lester, and I'm willing to sacrifice a little cuddle time to see you happy and doing what you love. Besides, we can always visit each other."

"Dan, we both know you can't really afford a lot of trips places, especially if they're far."

Dan shrugged.

"A few doubles never hurt anyone." 

"Dan, you already work way too much, there's no way I'm letting you work more just for me." 

"Shhh," Dan interrupted. The stress of trying to come up with the money to visit Phil regularly would bear down on him later, but Dan didn't want to think about it right now. Right now he was so, so fond of this man in front of him. This man who knew that something like this would stress Dan out of his mind, and tried—even if he went about it the wrong way—to relieve that stress.

Relationships needed effort from both sides to work, and sometimes that effort wasn't quite equal. Right now, Dan needed to put in a little more effort, and that was okay. He could do it. He wanted to do it. He wanted to fight for this beautiful, incredible, amazing thing in his life.

"We'll get through this, alright? You don't have to worry; I'm not going anywhere."

Phil's frame relaxed at Dan's words, and relief oozed from him. He let his hand cup Dan's head and gently pulled him into a kiss.

"Thank you."