#(the exact way they told me to do it)
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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in my opinion, qphil isolating and exiling himself is only going to make things worse or delay the inevitable: as shown yesterday the enderking wants qphil to isolate, to not tell anyone, and luckily for our evil demigod that is exactly how qphil operates. he holds secrets in hopes of not hurting others, not getting them involved. and we just saw what happens when he has a support network helping him, he broke free from enderking’s grasp even for a moment. but that bit is not the only reason why his isolation is playing straight into enderking’s hands: it’s his insecurities as well. ”i’m a shit dad” ”i need to prove myself worthy of protecting” ”i need to provide better for the family” ”i need to be stronger” - all insecurities that are qphil’s downfall. enderking has already played into his need to provide for the kids as well as the want to be stronger (the buffs in the dungeon), what’s stopping him from digging his claws further to qphil’s core, his insecurities and weaknesses now that he has no one to break him out of his self-deprecating loop? when all he has are his thoughts, the caws of a crow and the voice of him? if no one finds him in exile, i think he will lose himself again, betrayed by his own mind
#historically isolating yourself has always worked and been a great idea /j#literally the only way i can see him making it out of this is if a deity finds him#qsmp#qsmp philza#qsmp phil#philza#shey rambles#literally every piece if mental health advice i’ve ever heard and read started screaming in my head the moment he decided to leave#of*#like you’re doing the exact thing that you’re told NOT TO DO IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE#my god#when he said in a zombie apocalypse qphil would hide being bitten and just leave quietly to die he was not kidding#also melting point of wax… ’throw caution and myself into the wind’#you sure are!!!!#’i hear the voice of reason screaming after me’ YOU SURE AS HELL DO#THAT’S ME. I’M THE ONE SCREAMING AT YOU#FUCKKKKKK
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just kill me
#this whole article is bad but this was the WORST#not even for the reason you think (819 reasons)#Eliza you've already heard this rant but#if I can be way too sincere and long-winded for a moment#'always if I ask him something he helps'#how many quotes do we have from teammates over the years saying that exact thing#michael latta saying 'it doesn't matter if you're a top pair dman or a 4th line peasant; he'll do anything to help you'#christian djoos saying 'he's always there for you no matter what time or place. if something's up he's always there'#HHA saying recently nicke gave him his number and told him 'if you need anything just call me and I can help you'#carly in that interview when this was announced saying how nicke has been the support for everyone in that locker room from himself and osh#to guys who haven't been there long like strome and even pacioretty#I know holts and batya and andre and rasmus and jojo and tj and tom and karl alzner have all said stuff like this too#and that's just who I can think of off the top of my head#like. that's it. that's nicke.#if you ask him something. he helps.#for such an amazing athlete. for such a crucial part of making hockey A Thing in DC.#what his teammates want to talk about is his kindness#and that speaks so highly of him and is so genuinely admirable to me and worth aspiring to#I don't want to put anyone on a pedestal because we don't know these guys#but like. in terms of impact. nicke really genuinely made me try to be a better more thoughtful more actively outreaching friend#because I saw the way his teammates talked about him and that's how I want to be thought of.#I want people to know I'll be there for them. & not that I haven't been willing to do that but I've been more active about offering it#and part of that genuinely is because of his example#there's a million other things about his kindness I could mention before I even get to his hockey but this has already gone on far too long#so anyway#he is so dear to me#I hope he is happy and healthy#and that he knows how loved he is#nicklas backstrom#hockey
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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me: *has a bad week*
oscar: say no more, i know how to fix it
#i would crush them both in a card house contest lmao how are they do bad??#so**#there’s something so sexy about men covering their their faces with their hands. so big and so…… what else could he do with those?...anyways#i find it so interesting how i still to this day look at his neck and get surprised by how good it looks#like seeing it for the first time all over again#he’s so prettyyyy it hurts me so bad#and at the same time heals me#when i look at him i feel like i’ve never been sad in life#except when he’s sad#his smile :(((#the way he looks at lando……. is anyone surprised?#@ lola !! the gif on the right !!!#looks SO much like my friend that i told you about#she does those exact expression whenever she does something she’s proud of like that lol#anywayssss i love oscar#and lando for that matter#f1#formula 1#formula one#oscar piastri#mclaren racing#osc hands osc neck osc arms
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my brain is. so incredibly busy
#i keep going back and forth from like really happy#to really conflicted#to like a swinging pendulum of relationship woe and relationship lovey#idk there’s things i haven’t told anyone both with good and bad abt my gf#and i’m getting like other waves of oh god i’m a terrible boyfriend and also hey everything that ive done are things that ive done#with other friends and the only difference is that I’ve known 🦇 for a short amount of time#and also i don’t actually know him know him#like i know a bit about what he’s like with friends but i don’t know any of his friends so i don’t actually know#but also that’s kinda the exact same thing as my gf#and at this point i’m just like really happy with us#but i haven’t been happy enough to feel safe that things aren’t gonna get bad again#happy long enough*#and I#don’t wanna be a hypocrite with my friendship#but i’m also a very different partner than my gf#i know i’d hate if she was doing what i was doing#but she’s said and done shit that has made me feel really insecure to the point where i just kinda accepted that she might be cheating#at certain points#and she’s kinda said herself that she’s not sure she trusts hers#trusts herself#idk idk idk idk idk#i just want to keep my friendship with 🦇 the way ive been having it#and i don’t want her to ask me to stop#i know i’d never cross the line. i do trust myself#and i don’t want her to think otherwise
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hi! i'm the anon who requested for tighnari and "would they fix you". i like your answer, and it made me wonder... would tighnari let us fix him?
[Character Analysis Ask Meme]
Will Tighnari let you fix him?
Though many would argue with his way of going about things, let it be said that Tighnari is nothing if not purposeful. Even when he yells at the idiotic tourists gallivanting around foolishly in the Avidya Forest, indulging in his temper is not due to a loss of control. No, it is always a calculated decision. Sad to say, some people need a brutal shock to get things through their thick skulls, and if that's what it takes to save lives, so be it. Why mention this first? This is because all of Tighnari's actions are made with thought. To insinuate he needs to fix something about himself ignores the reasons why he chose to go that route in the first place.
So would Tighnari let you fix him? Not without a lot of grumbling on his part. If he cares about you enough, he will attempt to make the changes. But please expect much sarcasm muttered under his breath as he "fixes" his mistakes.
#genshin x reader#tighnari#tighnari x reader#you mentioned 'fixing' him in a general sense so i hope i conveyed that properly here haha#if you told him that he needs to be more polite when handling people i can see him like...#starting out with brutal sass and sarcasm before stopping himself to be more polite but his face like ':)))))))))))))))))))))'#you feel me?#prolly using the exact words he was going to say from the very start (sass and all) and then slapping a polite 'please' at the end#he wouldn't be offended by you trying to get him to change#more just exasperated like 'is this really that big of a deal?'#the thing with tighnari is that like say he were inherently flawed in some way perhaps he'd respond more readily?#i'm not saying tighnari is perfect but he really has no glaring flaws he needs to change#he's a hard working and caring person that cares about his friends and doing a good job protecting the forest#the biggest ding against him is his temperament#i suppose if you had a fear against people raising their voices he would make it a point to change for you but like....#i think that would only be for his interactions with you (not with others)#but the thing with his temperament is that like it's never undeserved or out of control#it's always from a place of caring#honestly when i first read you ask i was like... insulted on his behalf HAHA#this man has done nothing wrong!!#nahida disagrees with me tho if you read her voice line on him LOL
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i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that
#mostly i've just seen like “how dare you ask questions you just want an excuse to murder you're sealioning ect”#or worse some vague and wildly improbable nonsense about like. fake robot animals covered in beyond meat or something equally convoluted#which is a thing i did see someone suggest as a serious answer#i mean i already know they think i'm a genetically inferior hateful vampire that should starve to death for the greater good#because my exact combination of health conditions make meat basically the only semi-safe way i can get close to enough nutrients#i know this because they have repeatedly told me that i'm either evil or should be sacrificed or both#and yelled at me for asking questions by bringing up the whole disabled thing and then they're like#“a lot of vegans i know are advocates for disability!” as if that ever means jack shit in the society that results from anything#no matter what you do a vast majority of people in any given society will *not* be advocates for the disabled. i'm sorry they just won't.#and what do you think public perception of people who physically can't survive like that is going to skew towards#in a society founded on the belief that non-vegan diets are evil?#at absolute best we're looking at being a heavily marginalized class generally seen as something like vampires and our existences taboo.#(as if these type's own insistence that they should be allowed to harass and shame people doesn't disprove their assertion that we won't be#thinking it could possibly go any better than that is a fucking fairy tale. human nature doesn't work that way.#you simply cannot eliminate the human desire to designate and abuse a class of have-nots. the absolute best you can do is mitigate damage.#take it from someone who's been multiple kinds of disabled and chronically ill all my life. people will not “just”. ever.#i get this even from people who are otherwise very aware of and VERY GOOD at avoiding this sort of thinking#“i'm a disability advocate!” no you are not. you are a poster. my experience has taught me that what people advocate for in their free time#means precisely jack shit for how they will actually act when faced with the situations they make otherwise rational posts about#and the fact of the matter is even if you somehow really are the perfect disability advocate a majority of people WILL NOT BE YOU.#a majority of people in society will be margrat from accounting who clutches her pearls when she sees the gays and thinks autism isnt real#and who has never had a nuanced thought in her life and actively does not want to#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will not be you and your friends who march with wheelchair users and volunteer at the shelte#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will be jenny who starved 8 cats to death on broccoli because she can't be bothered#and who thinks that “carnivores” are actual nazis and don't deserve healthcare because she saw someone say that online.#ALWAYS assume your society will be made up mostly of the worst kind of person it can because it WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE and you can't change it#most people seek the low-effort option. and evil is most often banal and low-effort.#i'm just so fucking tired of every single even vaguely lefty-adjacent political movement simultaneously acting like i don't fucking exist#and at the same time that i need to be sacrificed to achieve Utopia. god. at least conservative whackjobs are upfront and honest about#how they think that i'm a burden on society that needs to be Eugenics'd . rather than trying to morally gaslight me about it.
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rereading 20020 bc of course i am and. i just love nine okay.
#17776#20020#nine 17776#ten 17776#chatter#ITS JUST SO GOOD OKAY this story means EVERYTHING to me#like the story. the themes. the characters#the way it is TOLD if i can ever make something even half as good#just. god. i love all of jon bois stuff i watch all his documentaries on secret base#and like i know NOTHING about sports i did not come from a sports family none of this was passed down to me#and yet every single time his stuff gets me okay. and im like. yeah. yeah i get it.#its just. the stories. the land. the way its all happened before and will again#like idk which chapter it is but when nick and manny do the throw with the train#and how its like a train that ran that EXACT same route and its like#these are! football fields! arbitrarily stretched out to the us borders!#there should not be such poetry in it AND YET#literally i think juice has a line about it somewhere idk what it is just#its art without an artist. and it IS it really is#god. i tear up every time at that video. the way nick uses his obt so manny doesnt have to#the way the camera follows the train#the way every other team takes the bate and im like#nobody else is doing it like 17776 and 20020! nobody!!!!#and im like. this is it. this is what its about#these are the stories we can tell. the stories that are possible to tell#this is such a fundamental part of me AS IM SURE IS OBVIOUS#GOT A WHOLE ESSAY IN THE TAGS HERE#sometimes i think about how i was there when these were both posting#and im like. no matter what else has happened in my life#it was worth it bc i get to live in a world where stories like this exist#and will continue to be worth it bc they will continue to exist. and one day im gonna read the next part
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I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.
#it's painful because i knew someone who personally faked this stuff (or has convinced herself she has it i can't even tell)#she had spent all her time on tiktok and i know for 100% sure that's where she got the idea. it's TRAGIC how fast things went downhill#i'm legit horrified at how many people (esp young kids of 13-14) think they have this too. or are just pretending#i've been neck deep in hardcore research (and i'm talking pubmed sciencedirect etc only) for months#and those kids definitely don't have did.. if they have trauma and are dissociating it's going to be something else like dpdr etc#the number of stupid 'you have did' answers i see for totally basic questions like 'i got dizzy what's wrong w me' is insane too#it's like googling 'muscle twitch' and then thinking you have some rare 1/billion familial cancer thing despite other obvious explanations#but worse.. in these cases the information is being fed to them. they don't have an opportunity to explore other possibilities#and the worst part is they don't even know to CHECK THE VALIDITY OF WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE SAYING. they don't have info literacy#like i'll say this once: did is so rare that it's STILL contentious about whether it even exists#and it only happens in the most unimaginably traumatic experiences. think of the worst possible things you could do to a child#where even just thinking about it makes you uncomfortable. THAT'S the kind of trauma that leads to did. the truly evil stuff.#i'm not even gonna start on the BITE model shenanigans that are happening in the 'did' communities either#or how the people who used to be in them (and got out) always equate them to self-harming cults that celebrated not finding real answers#they got told they were 'perfect the way they were' despite having OBVIOUS psychological issues they needed help for#(it just wasn't did)#they were assured their 'did was valid no matter what'. toxic positivity ig? it just delayed their real diagnosis and ability to get help#but now you have gluts of people like in the video 'talking to themselves' and people on tumblr posting one-liners of 'alters' talking#one after the other within seconds. and i want to fcking cry because it's the same exact shit my friend did before she cut ties#the did/tourettes/ftlb stuff has literally been called a 'mass sociogenic illness' in multiple academic studies#but like qanon believers they seem to immediately discredit anyone who mentions this with 'you're just ableist' so anything you say is poo#aka you're part of the problem you're an 'ableist' so your legit info even though legit isn't valid/acceptable/real/whatever. i'm tired fam#did#dissociative identity disorder#osdd#ddnos#munchausen syndrome#mass psychogenic illness#ableism
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I know this has been ragged on a million times but I gotta
#also like. the patriars are just?? there???#they see a grimy travelworn group of adventurers crash the archduke's coronation#and instead of kicking them out he goes 'oh heyyyyy!! ☺️☺️☺️ long time no see~ 🥰 let me update you on my - sorry - *our* evil plan!! 🤭🤭“#and openly reveals one of the adventurers as a fucking bhaalspawn?!#he's not speaking quietly or anything#there's a very large tiefling who is on fire and getting angrier by the second so clearly SOMETHING is up#the bhaalspawn in question looks fucking pissed#did they just want the tea or#i guess it doesnt really matter what they do b/c none of that conversation leaves that room#so i think they're all just too psyched for the surprise soap opera to think about what they're hearing all the way through#anyway. i wish the game had different reactions if you've already told the party that youre a bhaalspawn#wyll gave corentin the same exact speech twice which. fair. they probably needed to hear it#but still#shadowheart's the only one who didnt react again iirc but i might have just been reeling too much from karlach's to remember it#bg3#digital art#my art#bg3 spoilers#bg3 act 3 spoilers#corentin#bg3 wyll#bg3 karlach#bg3 shadowheart#bg3 gortash#bg3 durge#dark urge#baldurs gate 3#bg3 tav#sketch#the prodigal saer
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🏞🏞🏞
#the thing is I'm not proud of many things I've done. It's actually the exact opposite.#I kinda suck most of the time if I'm honest. but getting sober and doing it all on my own...#it's one of the only things I'm proud of when it comes to myself. sure.it's my third attempt but 1 year and 3 months...#it's the longest time I've ever managed to not try and deal with myself in a way that slowly but surely fucked me up in a very different way#I still struggle. some days are easier than others#but I'm still doing it.#being sober doesn't magically solve all my other issues but I don't spiral as much as I used to.#i don't think I'll ever be someone people can be around. which is like i don't blame people. i know how i am and how fucking difficult it is#to deal with that. the fear of abandonment that makes me push people away until they leave. the self-fulfilling prophesy of it all#the way i push and when i get the result i was expecting the immediate pull the fear and irrationality#the emotional disreggulation the self-pity#it's gotten better since i stopped drinking. less frequently and all that... but it's never gone not really#sometimes i think about the what could've beens.#what if my childhood went a little differently. what if my dad was there for me when i needed him. what if i wasn't me.#my ex best friend once told me that I'm to desperate to be saved. that nobody can do that anyway.#I'm not sure if I'd deserve it anyway. i have dreams in which I'm still me still dark and ugly and selfish and cruel at times#but i am trying i like to believe that i am already trying. i am. I'm just scared that it'll never be enough.#I'm not proud of many things but I'm 1 year and 3 months sober#only a few days and it's gonna be 1 year and 4 months#i didn't achieve much in my life but I'm here and i am trying every day i am trying and i hope on day it'll be enough#i hope one day i won't cause pain but build something good#sorry... I've just been thinking about it lately#because it is an achievement and i didn’t let myself be proud of how far I've come#alex talks#I'm still scared that people will look at me differently when they know... sometimes i feel like they can see the my rotten core anyway#to delete
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Years of reading and writing disapproving parent fic have come back to haunt me, as I'M now the one committing faux pas in front of my partner's uptight parents 🫠✌️
#my boyfriend's parents like me but they don't like swearing or dark humor or sarcasm and MAN is it very difficult for me#his mom is more ok with stuff than his dad is but oof.#I fucked up this evening making a joke in front of his dad my autistic ass assumed was okay because my boyfriend never#told me it wouldn't be and wow it was actually really bad!#and it led to a very embarrassing discussion with my boyfriend later and it just makes me feel like an idiot sometimes because#my autistic brain doesn't pick up on these things and it makes me feel stupid and look terrible and I hate it here sometimes#I'm constantlyyyy trying to walk on eggshells around them being careful of everything I say and holding my tongue and I STILL fuck up#em rambles#vent post#let this be a reminder next time I think I don't struggle with social cues lmao#I sure fucking do#not only am I just autistic and don't know things socially a lot of the time unless you tell me#so I would have no way of knowing that my boyfriend's sense of humor I'm used to is NOT okay in front of his parents without being told that#but my parents are like super chill and have my exact same sense of humor same with my siblings we all make the same kinds of jokes with#each other. so that's normal for me that's what I know#I don't blame my boyfriend for this situation I'm just frustrated that it happened and it's something I had to learn the hard way#when apparently that's something I should've known inherently
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*As soon as Zeno is pulled out of the cage he rights himself and flies over to the crow, beginning his dance, giving his enthusiastic bows and coos as song to accompany. Ignore how he was almost lost in the sauce of depression at understanding he had been rejected but mere moments before, He was a new bird now with endless possibilities! Nothing would stand in his way! THIS BIRD was the love of his life!!!*
-🦖
(I'm writing this character but I'm rolling my eyes at him too. Ridiculous bird hahaha)
Aristotle gives Zeno a once over, then begins to sing a soft, almost melodic tune to the other bird. As Sir Hootsalot watches, the crow begins to almost imitate Zeno's dance, although it is slightly different enough for Ludwig to notice it as a crow's mating dance instead.
"Oh, Heavy, look at them! They're dancing for each other!"
"Is that good?"
"They're both trying to court each other, Liebling! Like when we began dating."
Mikhail chuckles, "I would bring doktor books to read together, & many sandwiches to keep you well fed."
Ludwig gives him a little kiss, "I would focus on you more in battle, & take more time to tend to your wounds by hand outside of it."
#Lutz and Misha#tf2#tf2 ask blog#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#🦖 anon#i was looking up how crows mate. as in how they attract mates#& instead google told me how they actaully mate#& i was actually surprised to see they mate in the exact same way as pidgeons do#neat#also can you imagine both zeno & aristotle tryinf to do the 'bringing food/feeding their mate'#part of courtship that both crows & pidgeons share & just bumping their beaks together#red oktoberfest
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finally got brave enough to check my final grades for the semester and on the bright side i passed the class i for sure thought i would fail. but also i failed the class i thought for sure i was going to pass. and i thought i was doing better but im genuinely spiraling over this
#why do i even bother making plans at this point. why do i bother doing literally anything#atp the only thing stopping me from losing my mind and dropping out isthat time in high school i was having this exact crisis bc i nvr lear#and my teacher told me that good students dont always make good teachers. and struggling opens ur minds to different ways of learning#and thats literally the only thing ive been holding onto for 3 years bc if i dont look at it that way#i have to accept im a fundamentally broken person with no hope no capacity for growth or change and no direction or ambition#and if i cant do anything good with my life career wise i cant do anything good with my life period#bc im lowkey unloveable and incapable of forming and maintaining close relationships. and lowkey have nothing of value to say or create.#so whats left lol#um. good morning tumblr tags diary. maybe i just need to make breakfast#angel.txt
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i knew deep in my bones as a teenager that doing well in school wldnt actually matter in the long run n i just needed to not let it kill me but it is still very insane-making how i was Good At School up until i really wasnt and every adult in my life was SO sure i had to get Good At School again and now the skills i actually need to earn a living are just. communication, focus, lying, pattern recognition. which is pretty much what made me good at school but no one was telling me "wow you did so good on the SATs you would make an excellent shop assistant" everyone was all about going to uni and getting a degree and. idek. writing essays abt books full-time. my primary (currently hypothetical) work-related problems are when managers aren't autistic, and minimum wage isn't a living wage, and not getting sick pay. how would finishing my A levels have helped with any of those
#yelling at clouds#like i think if i'd gotten more actual support in school i could have finished my A levels#and if i was on adhd meds i might have made it thru uni too#but the only way i wldnt still be aiming for the exact same kind of ~unskilled job is if. we didnt live under capitalism#i am absolutely not built to have a job involving my Passions i do not have that kind of attention span#i need to be able to switch btwn primary interests at the drop of a hat#i need my work to be enjoyable in that my colleagues are chill and i dont have to do anything the autism Hates#not in that i Love It. i cant get myself to do things i Love for fun.#anyway. 17 year old spike was wrong abt some things but not half of what everyone told me i was wrong abt.
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